#that kind of person who'd go 'well if you don't understand then you're stupid/oh you're smart you obviously agree with me right'

[jujutsustraycats]

Hey ish! Your school would be starting in a few days and here a few things I wish someone told me when I was about to start my journey for 11th! Some of these might apply to you too even though the paths I have and you will be taking are completely different.

Next 2 years are gonna teach you a lot. They'll put you through the highest of high and lowest of lows. They'll change you as a person. They'll teach you so much about life (and also how people can be). Things would get overwhelming at times. You wouldn't understand what the fuck is going on at times. A lot of times you'd be left confused and hurt and alone for both, academic and non academic reasons. Also, you'd get a lot of career advice so you need to know how to filter out the useless ones! The best way to check authenticity can be reflect on the achievements of the one giving advice.

Even though your classmates might be in the same stream, you'll realise that everyone has a different story and that, in the worst ways possible too. There'd be times when it'd feel like none of your peers understand your visions and aim for future, there'd be times you wouldn't have a buddy to chat about your life philosophies with who also has the same opinions as yours (but remember to not give up on people as a whole okay? You'd find people you vibe with at the end of the day, you just have to be bold enough to put yourself out there!)

There'd be also times you might end up severely over worked and sleep deprived (but make sure not to drink so much coffee that your hands and shaking and your heart is beating so fast that your body goes into fight and flight mode thinking you're having panic attack lol). You know ish, these 2 years might completely make you or break you, but remember to not give up despite whatever situations you might end up in.

I personally was a several-Olympiad-gold-medalist kinda overachiever till 10th (even in 11th lol, i didn't sit for it in 12th because my priorities changed. And I overlooked it, don't do that. Celebrate your smallest wins and remember to appreciate yourself for the smallest milestones or you'll end up severely burnt out. It has happened to me twice over the span of last 4 years till now.) But even I ended up seeing the greatest academic downfall i ever had in front of my eyes at many times during these 2 years. And you should know that it's okay. A lot of people are going to be tough on you but try your hardest not to be one of them. Being kind to oneself can be difficult but try your best okay? And you said you are a perfectionist aren't you? Take care little dove.

I've seen a lot in these two years too. A lot of your academic experience also depends on what kind of teachers you get and me, personally, oh my teachers were pos and sadists. They'd bully me for the most stupid reasons (haha losers. You said i wouldn't be able to do it? Well. fuck y'all ✨ [you'd have to learn to be indifferent at times and not let their or anyone else's words get through you. Learn to develop a strong self belief.]) and I seriously hope you get better teachers.

But oh ish not every elder is bad, you'll get some amazing teachers whom you'd never want to break ties with. Hold on to them! okay? You'd also get really amazing friends who you'd know are going to last a lifetime and would be there for you in your toughest times. Hold on to them as well! Some bastards are too good to let go. Ha!

And also, in return, remember to be kind to your peers because you don't know what they might be going through (not to scare you but I had 2 of my friends who'd almost commit suicide, so yeah it can get scary for both, you and them at times but remember to heal them with your love and support. It's an age you all need each other!)

It's gonna be fun, full of lessons, scary, exciting and adventurous at the same time. You'd hate it sometimes and you'd love it sometimes, but despite all MASTI NAHI RUKNI CHAHIE!!! You won't ever get these 2 years back so make sure you don't walk out without making some amazing memories!! Vandalise stuff, copy the sign of principal to escape the school, bunk the classes (to study or not, your choice) have deepest conversations and most light hearted jokes and banters the exact other day, sleep in the class, eat from under the bench, give impromptu speeches on seminars and farewells, break rules....whatever ish. Whatever gets your heart pumping and adrenaline rushing. Because while it's the starting of peak years of your career, you should remember to be a human and have fun at times too. It's okay. It's normal. It's needed. One shouldn't be guilty about it.

Getting less than perfect marks on a few tests isn't gonna harm you as much as you think it will. The ones who love you will continue to love you. The ones who admire you will continue to admire you. The ones who support you will continue to support you.

Baki, main hun idhar hi ❤️ kabhi bhi kuch problem ho toh AA Jana apni badi behen se advice lene, I'll try my best to help you out. As I said the other day, the pain and trauma these 2 years have put me through has only served to make me more empathetic and protective of my juniors so if you come to me with loads of rants i won't say cliché things like "Stay strong". I'd first and foremost listen to you and simply that. I'd listen to you for as long as you want me to. Because sometimes you'd simply just wanna be heard ❤️

I'll try my best to be there for you! If nobody got you, I do! Remember that, okay? ✨

... Dear gods, I don't even know what to say. You made me cry. Like, tears actually sprung up in my eyes. Happy ones, though. Don't worry too much.

I'm not one for physical affection but I would've hugged you so hard if I were there. Thank you. This genuinely made my day.

[sprout-writes-stuff]

Inspired by @henderdads fic. A little thing that entered my brain fully formed and had to come out. (if I did anything wrong here let me know and I'll take it down)

It's not exactly what Steve thought he'd be doing on a friday night, he and Robin have their laptops open doing a personality quiz that the school heavily encouraged them to take.

He highly doubts a few questions (okay so there's at least 50, whatever) will tell him anything about himself that he didn't already know but Robin insisted they do it together. The part that actually interests Steve is they'll get a list of the ten people they're most compatible with, it'll even say whether that's in a romantic way or not. The last question asks about their preference (Men/Women/Any/None).

Early sunday morning Steve is lying in bed scrolling his emails and it's there! The results. He skims over all the stuff about him (he'll make a great parent someday, blah blah blah, maybe he'll read it properly later) until he finds the list. Unsurprisingly, Robin is at the top with 98.2% but the second... What? No way?

He video calls Robin immediately, it actually takes three tries to wake her up.

"Steve? It's," she looks up to the time on her phone, "7:18. Why? It's sunday."

"The email, Robin, it's here." He watches her face as she tries to understand what's happening, barely containing his amusement at that, and then waits as she checks hers.

"Aww we're compatible Stevie," she says with a silly, overly sweet smile, "like we didn't know that already. Who'd you get first with a heart?"

Steve now has his open on his laptop, staring at the little pink heart next the name second on his list.

"Steve?"

"It's... I mean, it can't be right."

"Why not? It got us didn't it?"

"It's Eddie Munson. 97.6%." The rest are all mid 80s or lower and might as well be zero for all Steve cares about them right now. Robin's jaw drops.

"He doesn't exactly seem the type to even take the quiz," she says, "you have to talk to him tomorrow."

"I don't know anything about him."

"Well you've got all the time in the world to find out."

He doesn't stop thinking about it for the rest of the day.

He sees Eddie's van pull into the parking lot and Robin pushes him towards it before the engine is even off.

"Can I talk to you?" he asks as soon as the door is open. "Privately?"

"Alright," Eddie says, confusion on his face as he follows Steve away from everyone else. "What's this about Harrington?"

"The quiz? The other night?" Did Eddie think Steve was just going to leave it?

"Oh, that's in already?" He digs his phone out of his pocket. He doesn't know.

Steve watches him read, getting more and more nervous as he gets closer to the end. Eddie looks up at him in shock. All Steve can do is nod.

"And the... heart? That's not a mistake?" He's kind of breathless.

"Huh?"

"Like, you could have accidentally checked men instead of women and that's what you came to tell me."

"Oh," Steve says with a giggle, "no, I'm bi."

The nervous energy from a few minutes ago is turning into bubbling excitement as they stare at each other, both with tentative, hopeful smiles.

"I don't know about you but I really wanna kiss you." Steve says, stepping closer. Eddie bridges the gap and their lips meet. Before they can get too into it, the school bell rings and they have to start heading to class.

"Can't believe we got each other at the top of our lists," Eddie says knocking his shoulder into Steve's.

"Hate to break it to you but you're number two on mine," Steve replies with a grin. Eddie stops walking for a few seconds and has to jog to catch up.

"Oh, of course, Buckley right?"

Steve nods, still grinning. "See you after class?" he asks when they get to his room.

"Definitely." Eddie kisses him again, a peck this time. Steve watches him leave and marvels at the fact a stupid piece of homework may have just changed his life forever.

[theofficialpresidentofmars]

I think the reason why I tend to like more controversial film Shakespearean adaptations (eg Kenneth Branagh's Hamlet, Baz Luhrmann's Romeo and Juliet) is to me, keeping the complete integrity of the play whole and intact is just slightly less important than seeing the story get to be told in new and exciting ways? Like don't get me wrong, I very much appreciate the integrity of a play and might be using the wrong word entirely but I don't care if not every single detail is the exact same and if some of the deep implications are lost in favour of things that look cool.

I guess my view comes from the fact that Shakespeare is so hard to get into for a number of reasons: the excruciating language barrier especially for first time readers, the fact that the plays are all like 400 years old, and the way that everybody seems so pretentious about his works all the time that it's hard to connect to them in any meaningful way when people are just going to tell you you're not reading it right. It put me off for a good many years to the point where I held contempt for the playwright and every English teacher who'd made me study his works because it all felt so stupid and uptight and so much fuss about nothing (much ado about nothing, you might say) and I'd been taken to see live plays of his multiple times and every time my parents had been like 'oh it's a cultural experience! it's high art!' and it confused me and frustrated me and just didn't resonate with me at all. and quite potentially the ONLY reason I got into his works at all was three straight years studying his plays in, Hamlet came up on my radar as the play we'd have to perform a scene from for a Drama assessment. And he was Danish, and I'm Danish, and I thought 'yknow maybe I'll give this one a shot for cultural heritage purposes or whatever' and so I put in extra work to understand the play and realised it kind of hit hard. And then, after all these years of reading plays and watching them without a clue what was going on, it was getting the chance to perform a scene from a play that I understood with the instruction to make of it what we wanted it to be, I finally got it. I realised why this name had been one to go down in history.

But I can't get over how absolutely hard it was to get here, and how close I was to never being here at all despite my close proximity at many occasions of my life. And it's because people treat Shakespeare's works like 'high art' which they are, but they also take it to mean untouchable. And okay, maybe if it was the Mona Lisa or something. But this is theatre! This is the most adaptational, most personal, most intimate art form! And it's not only art where the value lies in viewing it, but there's value in being the ones to perform as well! And treating it like some godly, better-than-thou, scripture from the heavens makes it unrelatable and unapproachable. When the whole reason these stories have lasted for four hundred years is because they're relatable!

But sometimes three-four hour plays are hard to resonate with, especially the Shakesperean worded ones, whether that be read or viewed. Mostly for newcomers. And often, that can be where film comes in. And here's where I should add, a large amount of people don't watch Shakespeare with the intent of acting like they know everything about it. Having an adaptation that doesn't fully do the original justice should be okay, because at the end of the day it's more important that the stories are being told and adapted to draw in a modern audience (who then if interested can go and properly sink their teeth in) than kept in a glass case to be seen but not felt.

I hope people make really shitty film adaptations of Shakespeare. I hope people make film adaptations that do something daring and original that wasn't in the play. I hope people make adaptations that go offscipt entirely, I hope they make adaptations that don't quite make sense but they're going for more of a vibe than anything. I hope they make adaptations that are campy and ridiculous and I hope they make adaptations that really suit the original plays and capture all of their themes that make every scholar's heart ascend with happiness.

I hope people make many, many adaptations of Shakespeare's works, each with a bit of their own creativity and soul handcrafted into them. I hope these stories keep being adapted again and again and that every adaptation, whether it resonates with a large audience or not, really resonates with someone. I hope people have self-indulgent fun adapting his works. I hope that no one ever feels afraid to put something out into the world just because it might be awful.

I should also add, if you happen to dislike any of the adaptations I mentioned for valid reasons that's totally fine and I understand why you might lol. But in an ideal world, Hamlet has like a hundred different modern versions and I actually hate like half of them but it's okay because the fact that so many were made means that one also got made that's so good and so perfect for me that it keeps me up at night. I currently do have takes on the play that I absolutely despise anyway (Freud when I get my hands on you) but I recognise that there's merit in them existing and people finding meaning in them (even if they're WRONG according to me). I also understand the potential frustration in people who haven't studied the play coming into academic spaces and acting as if they have full authority because they've seen one adaptation. I just hope you sort of get the point I'm trying to make because we're probably not on opposite sides and I have a fear of misarticulating myself on the internet LOL

anyway the Hamlet scene I ended up doing for my Drama assessment was the latter half of Act 5 Scene 2 and our group's take on it were that Hamlet and Laertes were bitter exes lmao

[leatherbookmark]

existing in fandoms and reading other fans’ opinions, or “am i stupid and blind, OR is this statement made from a very... black-and-white point of view, and not much thought was given to it?”

[raewritez]

Airbenders

let’s all take a moment to appreciate our windy boy🙌

based on this request: Can you do Aang x airbender reader? When Aang and Katara found out that she hid from them that she could bend ? Please!

warnings: aangsty

It hurts.

Aang’s body felt like it was on fire, and he supposed it was. It seemed like electricity was still flowing through his veins, consuming him with needle points and flame. With Katara’s healing he was slowly gaining back his memory - visions of white glow, of the royal siblings, of waves, and of falling. There was something else, too, it was-

“Ow!”

Katara grimaced, removing her hands from his back. “Sorry, Aang. There’s a lot of energy built up in here.”

He winced, curling in on himself. “It’s ok.”

She stares at him worriedly, heart aching for her friend. He felt so awful, so consumed by guilt and failure, and she found herself having trouble coaxing him out of his thoughts. There was one person that could, but they were nowhere to be found. Aang noticed.

“Where’s Y/n?”

Katara breathed shakily, pulling at the edge of her tunic. “Aang…what exactly do you remember from Ba Sing Se?”

He tilted his head, furrowing his brows. "I remember Azula, and I remember I went down. You saved me."

She nodded. "Is that all?"

He leaned into the bed, running a hand through his hair (hair? how long has that been there?). "There's something else."

Katara looked nervous, as if preparing for him to do something awful. It made him confused. He searched his mind, digging through flashes of memory until he found what he was looking for. He inhaled sharply. Oh. Right.

They were outnumbered, Dai Lee agents advancing on them from all directions. Katara's water whips were no use, broken and splashed across the ground by shields of rock and crystal. Aang fought tirelessly, earth and water spinning around him in a flurry of movement. The earth benders only moved forward - creeping slowly upon the Avatar until they were thrown back by some powerful force. Wind. Aang looked down at his hands, he hadn't done that, right? The agents rose to their feet but their eyes weren't on him, rather on something that lurked behind. Turning, his gaze fell upon what had drawn their attention.

You.

Your arms were outstretched, an uncertain expression on your face. You glanced down at your palms in surprise - you certainly hadn't expected that to work so well. His mouth fell open, mind swarmed with confusion. His grey eyes widened, and your gaze met his. You couldn't tell if that look in his eyes was one of betrayal or pure shock, but you felt the guilt you'd been harboring over keeping this secret hit you full-force. Your own eyes were surprised, and they softened as they fell upon him. In them he could see the swimming emotions, and an apology. You raised your arms again.

"They're...they're an Airbender."

Katara looked at the floor, silently affirming his words. He stared at her, then he stood. His body ached and his legs wobbled, but he didn't care. He grabbed his staff, and leaning on it, began to make his way towards the door.

"Wait, Aang," Katara exclaimed, attempting to calm him. The look on his face was foreign; eyes glinting with sadness and something she couldn't quite decipher. And anger. It was a rare emotion to see displayed by the boy, but it was there now, although faint. She was nervous for you, her own anger since passed and replaced with a sort of resigned understanding. Sure, she was upset, hurt that you didn't trust her with this secret, but she guessed she understood. At least she tried to.

"Aang, your injuries are still healing. You can't-"

"I'm fine, Katara," he spoke, and she felt a chill run through her bones at the sternness. "Let me go."

He pushed past her, holding in his groans at the effort. He walked as quickly as he could down the hall, mind pulsing with adrenaline and determination. He didn't have to ask where your room was, he knew where it would be: at the end of the hall by the windows, so you could see the ocean. He limped his way down, the silk robe threatening to fall off his shoulders. In front of your door, he stopped. He breathed, and then he entered.

You were seated on your bed, staring blankly at the wall. You glanced tiredly at the intrusion, eyes widening when you saw it was him. You stood abruptly, almost tripping over yourself and if the circumstances were different he would've laughed. You missed his laugh. Instead he gazed at you, expression neutral. You felt nervous, unfamiliarly awkward under the Avatar's stare.

"Hi, Aang."

He kept his eyes trained on you, eyebrows furrowed. He was silent.

"Um...h-how are you feeling?"

"You didn't come to see me."

Your eyes widened. "W-what?"

His gaze never faltered. "You didn't come to check on me."

"Oh," You breathed, casting your eyes to the floor. "I didn't...I didn't know if you'd want me to."

He didn't speak, and you could feel him scrutinizing you. As if he didn't know what to make of you, as if he wasn't sure what to think. And in all honesty he probably didn't. You didn't know what to think of yourself, either.

"You're an Airbender." It wasn't a question, just a statement. An observation.

You breathed. "Yeah."

He stood a little taller, and you could finally make out an emotion. Anger. It wasn't ideal, but it was better than him acting as if you were Koh the freaking Face-Stealer. His voice was low. "Why didn't you tell me?"

You swallowed nervously, fingers coming to play with the fishing-line bracelet he'd made for you that rested upon your wrist. "I don't know."

He scoffed, beginning to pace around the room. Well, as well as he could considering his condition. "That's not an answer. How could you keep that from me?!" There was a desperation to his tone, and his eyes were glassy. You looked away, unable to deal with the shame.

"Aang, please, I-" You didn't know what to say. You truly didn't quite understand why you'd hidden it, the secrecy just fading into habit. "I was...I was scared. I didn't know what to say or- I'd never told anyone before! And then you came and I..."

"And you didn't tell me."

His face was darkened, so different from that sunshiney demeanor that you'd grown so goddam fond of. But behind his anger was a certain brokenness - a disbelief. And that hurt more than the rage.

He didn't give you time for an explanation, and you weren't sure you had one to offer anyway. He simply walked away, sparing you one more hurtful glance. Then, he left, taking the light and hope with him. You felt tears sting your eyes, but you forced them away. You didn't deserve to cry. You were the one who'd hurt him, who'd betrayed his trust. And now you weren't sure if your best friend would ever trust you again, ever allow you a second chance. So, instead of crying, you simply laid in the dark warmness of your bed, rocked to sleep by the swaying of the ocean with an ache in your chest.

///

A week.

That's how long it'd been since the two of you talked, since Aang had so much as glanced in the direction of his best friend. You were in the Firenation now, having assumed the role of undercover criminals. It was kind of exhilarating, and you knew you and Aang would be milking the drama of it for all its worth. But instead you sat alone, sidled in the corner of the cave as your friends danced.

Aang had somehow managed to enroll himself in a Fire Nation school, and had invited his classmates to your hideout for a dance party. You wished you had enough energy to participate - to twirl around with Katara or do the limbo with Sokka, but you were drained. Just like you'd been for days. Your hope was waning; you were becoming less and less sure that Aang would find a way to forgive you - that he would return to his best friend with that lopsided smile and endless generosity, the way he came to you all those times before. Now, he was dancing, shoulders brushing against that Fire Nation girl's - On ji? Something like that - while the rest of the kids laughed and cheered. It send an ache to your heart. He seemed happy with her - happier than he's been with you. He was sporting that contagious grin, that boisterous laughter, that-

"Wow, you really are mopey."

You were snapped out of your thoughts by Toph. "I'm not mopey," you grumbled.

She snorted. "Uh, yeah you are. I can practically feel the pitifulness radiating off you."

"Gee, thanks a lot."

You were silent for a moment, and she seemed to soften. "You know, he's not mad at you anymore."

You glanced over, a scoff escaping your lips. "Yes he is, Toph. He hates me."

Her eye-roll was about the biggest you'd ever seen. "Don't be stupid, Sap. That kid loves you. It's so obvious it's gross."

You sighed, shaking your head. You pulled your knees to your chest. "Not anymore. I lied to him."

She nodded, seeming thoughtful. "Well, yeah, that kind of sucked. And obviously he would be kinda mad about that. But he's not anymore, trust me. I can feel it."

"You can feel it?"

"Mhm. He's mopey, too. He misses you."

You looked over to the center of the cave, where Aang was demonstrating some bizarre dance movement. You smiled fondly.

"Seriously, Y/n. You should talk to him."

You nodded, breathing in your resolve. "I will soon."

Toph groaned loudly. "Well, I guess that's as good as we're gonna get."

///

Spirits, you were exhausted. A day of cleaning out a river will do that to you.

It'd been a few days since the dance party, and your time had been occupied with Appa's "sickness" while you stopped at a local fishing village. It was pretty gross, but with your friend's help and Katara's fancy costume, you were able to leave it better than it was when you arrived.

Now, you found yourselves at yet another designated campsite - a patch of ground near the cliffside, overlooking the valley. You were tired, and so much as walking around felt like a chore.

Your eyes fell on a silhouetted figure perched on the edge of the cliff. Momo sat on his shoulder. You breathed, body growing alight with nervousness. You made your way over, Momo launching onto you when you got closer.

You chuckled, petting his furry head. "Hey, Momo," you said softly. You eyes flickered upwards, latching onto Aang's. He turned away. You sighed, setting Momo down and moving to sit next to him. You inhaled deeply, bracing yourself for impending rejection. You fidgeted with the edge of your shirt - a movement that his eyes quickly locked onto.

"Um, I know you probably don't want to talk to me, and that's ok, but I need to...I need to explain myself."

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see him nod slowly.

"My whole life I had to keep my bending a secret, and nobody's ever known except my parents. And when I met you...I don't know. I guess I was just scared. I thought I was going to be the last one for the rest of my life. I'd been hiding and denying that I was an Airbender for so long, and I guess I just...felt safer to keep doing that."

He was silent, staring at you intently with concentration and an emotion you couldn't decipher. You continued.

"The point is, I should've told you. And I'm so, so sorry that I didn't. I don't know if you could ever forgive me, but I-"

You were cut off by the press of his lips against your own. Your eyes widened, and you sat rigidly still. He chuckled breathily at your shock, moving his hand to gently caress your cheek. You relaxed, leaning into his palm and letting your eyes fall shut. After a moment, he pulled away.

"I'm not mad at you, Y/n."

You were still frozen with pleasant surprise. "Oh...ok."

He laughed, reaching to brush a strand of hair behind your ear. He smiled adoringly.

"But wait - how aren't you mad? I kept this a secret from you, and I-"

"Well, I was mad," he cut you off. "But I'm not anymore. If there's anything that we can take away from this, it's that you're not the last Airbender. And neither am I."

You smiled at that. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

He pulled you into his side, keeping one arm around you while he performed random tricks; like making a whirlpool or air or sending a small tornado Sokka's way. You leaned into each other to muffle your giggles when he fell. You felt happier than you had since Ba Sing Se - filled with the happiness that only Aang could provide you. You had his trust, and his guidance, and you weren't alone. Neither of you were.

[margarethelstone-2]

if I loved you less (i might talk about it more)

requested by one and only @nerdypanda3126. thanks so much!

Read on AO3!

"Taichi... You still like me, don't you?"

The young man in question raised his eyes from the book he'd been trying to read for the past quarter, and fixed them on Chihaya, confused. It wasn't just the question that surprised him, even though its content sure would have been enough to puzzle a better prepared soul.

The fact that Chihaya had barely spoken at all for most of their time together today was the main reason why he felt startled by her words now.

She really had been quiet for most of the day, even though they were spending it at his place, determined, as she herself had claimed, not to get in the way of his studies. Taichi had tried to make her realise that it wasn't what he wanted at all, that the very reason he'd invited her over was to get a break from all the reading and just relax a little. He'd explained over and over again that he needed her to be a distraction; tried – unsuccessfully – to get it into her head that she was actually doing him a favour. He knew how much of a workaholic he could be and so he specifically planned the visit as a means to enforce the necessary break he might not have taken otherwise.

He had told her all of that. And yet, she'd remained quiet.

All the way until now, that is.

And just what on earth was she going on about?

"What's with that question? You know the answer to that," he replied casually, almost dismissively, before going back to the textbook in his hand. He really had no idea what had gotten into her all of the sudden, but then again, he didn't care to delve on the subject. He knew she'd tell him anyway.

"I was just wondering," she answered, a trace of hurt ringing in her voice; Taichi needed to hold back the smile that sprang on his lips at the sight of her pout. "Is it so bad if I do?"

Taichi hummed in thought.

"Is that why you've been so quiet all day?" he asked right after. "You've been just busy considering my possible affection for you?"

"Stop with the mockery. I'm thinking of it seriously."

"Oh? And what conclusions did you come to?"

"I wouldn't have asked if I'd come to any."

He had no choice but to close the book and put it away after a statement he'd just heard. Not that he minded. Throwing it on the floor rather carelessly, he sat up straight in his corner of the couch and, resting his chin on his palm, he fixed his gaze on the girl seated by his desk on the other side of the room.

She really was being impossible today.

Well, he supposed that wasn't anything new. He'd known Chihaya long and well enough to not be fazed by the swings in her mood or the inane schemes she so often came up with. He had learnt to expect the unexpected, every day, every hour of his otherwise boring life, because that was obviously the only way to keep up with her. The one thing he had to keep doing if he still wanted to be a part of her life.

Because that was how Ayase Chihaya was.

Chihaya. His best friend. His fiercest karuta rival. The girl he'd been in love with since fourth grade of primary school and the girl who'd rejected him straightforwardly at the very beginning of their third year in Mizusawa High. The girl whom he'd thought he could never win over, on whom he'd given up again and again, fooling himself he could move on and blight the love he'd had for her since he'd been a ten year old squirt.

He sighed and shook his head, remembering her question from a moment before.

She knew damn well he was still head over heels for her.

She was his girlfriend, for sanity's sake.

"I can't believe you actually have asked, you know," he picked up with the same fake weariness he'd shown before, if only to cover his growing amusement. Seeing her very real anxiety made him assume a more solemn expression, as he asked, "Seriously, what brought this on? Are you mad about something?"

"I'm not mad," she disagreed instantly, and with good emphasis.

"Are you unhappy then? Did I do something to make you feel like that?"

Again, she denied. Now she just looked sad. "That's not it."

Wrong. She was flustered.

"Then what is it?" Taichi asked, as gently and warmly as he could. Not for the first time, he felt grateful for all the hard training his patience had received. It was obvious that Chihaya needed that from him now. "It's not like I could get over you like this, you of all people should be aware of that. You're the most important person in my life. The best companion I could think of. You know I get lonely and grumpy when I can't see you, and you know I still get absurdly jealous, even though I hate being so. And so I can't help but think there's something else I'm not doing right."

Taichi stopped there, waiting for her to, if not answer his question, then to contradict him in one way or another, at least. After all, he really was at a loss.

He thought he'd been doing a fairly good job as a boyfriend, when all was said and done. He'd already shared Chihaya's most important interest and it wasn't difficult to at least understand the new ones she'd found. He made sure to be there for her when she needed him, and tried his best to give her space when she needed that more. True, he'd had some trouble coming for help on his part, but even that was a thing of a past rather than present – certainly not something that could shock Chihaya into thinking like this.

He would think that the all-day-long date he'd come up with and seen through in celebration of their first anniversary as a couple last week was a good show of how much he still cared.

He wasn't perfect. Neither was she. But never in his life would he have thought that he'd failed to get his feelings across.

"Chihaya," he prompted once more, his voice audibly quieter. "Please tell me what it is. I can't fix it if I don't know what's broken."

She looked up from the floor she'd been glaring at for a while and met his gaze, a shadow of unease still clouding her big brown eyes. She opened her mouth to answer; she closed it instantly and looked away again, abashed. There was a hint of pink on her cheeks, and it only grew darker as the time passed, though whether it was because of embarrassment or something more alarming, Taichi couldn't tell yet.

"Chihaya–"

"It's because you never say it."

He supposed his eyes opened wider than ever, what's with the utter astonishment he felt growing inside him immediately. For a few moments, he could do nothing but stare, the craziness of the situation overwhelming enough to successfully prevent him from forming a sensible thought, and much less coming up with any kind of solution. One look at Chihaya was enough to sober him up, however.

She was distressed. She was insecure.

No matter how stupid he thought the reason to be, he could hardly allow the situation to last.

With a groan that was bound to startle her, he bent over and buried his face in his hands.

Only one thing he could do now.

"Come here," he said, his face still hidden behind one hand as he tore the other one away and beckoned her towards him. "No excuses. You'll talk later. Now just come here, please."

She did, albeit tentatively, as if afraid of the reaction he might show her. With his patience starting to run thin at last, Taichi didn't wait for her to cover the whole distance, instead reaching out and grabbing her by the wrist, only to pull her down on the couch right next to him.

And then he pulled her even closer, locking her in a bone-crushing hug.

"I'm gonna do something to you," he mumbled into her hair, his voice a mixture of laughter and complaint. "You cruel, cruel, woman. Have you no heart? Here I am, mind reeling as I try to figure out what the hell I did wrong again and you say it's because I don't say I like you enough. As if you didn't already know you've got a firmer hold of my heart than I ever did. Tell me, am I really this bad at showing you that I care that you doubt it?"

It was Chihaya's turn to growl at him, though it surely – and fortunately – didn't stop her from burying her face even deeper into his chest and digging her fingers into the shirt on his back. Again, Taichi laughed at the display, but didn't loosen his grip one bit.

That silly, unbelievable, most beloved girl.

"This and that are different things," she muttered finally in response against his buttons, her stubborn indignation probably being the only reason why he could discern the words at all. "There are different kinds of love languages. We even talked about it, you know."

"Yes. And as far as I remember, we've already established that neither of us cared for this one. So your argument doesn't work."

Well, this was a lie, or at least, it wasn’t fully true. After all, he could never get tired of hearing her say those words, to him and him only. But he didn't need it that much, not when he already knew of so many other ways in which Chihaya expressed her love towards him. He'd always assumed it was the same for her, too.

Funnily enough, he still didn't think he was mistaken.

"I've had feelings for you for the past fourteen years, you dummy, I wouldn't change my mind just because you decided to return them," he threw in only half-jokingly, as if to make sure he got his point across before moving onto the next part. "So? Care to tell me what's the source of it all?"

He felt her tense against him for a split second, only to relax in the next moment with a long, weary sigh. He waited for her to make herself comfortable in his arms, shifting ever so slightly to make it easier for them both. And then he heard her speak.

"I met up with Kana-chan the other day," she admitted weakly. "Her and Desktomu. And I guess... They're always so sweet with one another, now more than ever. I suppose... It made me feel a little jealous. But most of all, it just made me think."

"And you decided that I'd fallen out of love with you, because I don't talk like Komano does?"

"I didn't decide anything, I told you already. I just wondered if maybe I was doing something wrong to deserve that treatment. Sorry for being so terribly scared of losing you again because of my own foolishness."

Words caught in his throat as Taichi tried to protest against this new development. That last addition Chihaya had made – and more importantly, the wounded, truly uncertain voice with which she'd spoken – would have been enough to melt his heart even if he had actually been angry with her. Right now, he had to hold back from grabbing her by the chin and kissing her senseless until all the idiotic ideas evaporated from her overworked mind.

The things she did to him without as much as trying.

You evil little imp.

"They're newly-weds. You can't use them for reference," he managed to stutter out at least, conveniently ignoring the hoarseness of his own voice and the emotion that hovered behind it. "Not to mention, those two are the opposite of us when it comes to talking about feelings openly. There's a reason they got together six years before we did. Just because something works for them doesn't mean it's the best course for us to take as well."

He smiled again and planted a kiss at the top of her hair, before adding, "I still can't believe you really doubted me, though."

She huffed and pulled away, although she still didn't move from her place on the couch. They were still close; close enough for Taichi to see the light reflecting in her eyes and the blush that hadn't left her cheeks, and to reach out and comb her tangled hair with his fingers. Another gesture so full of love, even though it was but a fraction of all that she made him feel.

"Well, since I never understood what had made you fall in love with me in the first place, it's only natural that I'd have this kind of doubts."

He chuckled and she smiled on her part, her obstinacy giving it to the desire to just be with him. It was another thing Taichi was able to read in her eyes – and, knowing the feeling well enough from his own experience, he had no trouble deciphering it.

Delayed, the first part of her sentence entered his brain.

What made me fall for you, I wonder?

He didn't know. It had been so long since he’d realised his feelings after all, and longer still since those feelings had been born. Even all those years earlier, he probably wouldn’t have been able to point out the reasons clearly, never mind finding the one spark that had started it – trying to do so now seemed downright impossible.

There were so many reasons, after all.

Maybe it was because she had never considered herself a possible love interest for anyone, first when she was too engrossed in karuta and later, when she thought she didn't deserve to be one. Maybe it was her hot-headedness and her drive, and how different she'd always been from him, and yet never failed to tell him how much she'd admired and envied those qualities of his that she lacked.

Maybe it was the fact that she'd always been with him, so close and so dear and yet so impossible to grasp.

Maybe it was because she'd loved him long before either of them dared believe that was the case.

Maybe...

"Maybe," he said out loud, though in fact not loud at all, his lips moving against her forehead as he leaned in to put a kiss there, too. "Maybe, if I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more."

Edging away, Taichi saw tears gathering in her eyes. He wiped them away with his thumb, his hand cupping the side of her jaw fittingly.

And then he kissed her properly.

Just like he had wanted to ever since he'd first seen her that day.

[mxbottleflip]

The Boyz - Son Eric [Smut] :^)

sorry i'm too uncreative for captions

heya ! after procrastinating for the last few hours i'm finally able to post my very first smut, yay ! enjoy, my loves ♡

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pairing: {brattamer/dom!eric (tbz) x fem!brat!reader}

summary: {eric is busy studying and you think of a way to get his attention-turning into smut obv.}

word count: {~1,3-1,4k}

warnings: {none really, issa smut lol}

requested: {yes, by anon ! dw i gotchu :D}

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~tysm for the request !~

(also eric is still going to school in this au sksks felt like giving him homework to focus on fit pretty nice)

NOT PROOF READ BECAUSE I'M TOO LAZY MYSELF AND HAVE NO FRIENDS TO DO THAT FOR ME (:

ACTUAL START DOWN HERE

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the way eric licked his lips while working on his homework got you weak in the knees. he looked so incredibly hot whenever he was concentrating on something, you could watch him for years. "y/n could you please stop staring at me like that ? it kinda makes me nervous..", eric finally spoke up and turned around in his seat to look at you. you were sitting right next to him and probably haven't looked away a single time since he started studying.

your eyes were scanning his face, all of his features.. his damn good looking face almost made you angry. "what the fuck are you so handsome for ??", you yelled and let out a fake cry. eric just laughed at it and turned back to the bunch of papers infront of him: "yeah i mean if i had nothing good about me, i wouldn't have such a gorgeous girlfriend like you eh ?"

his words also put a smile on your face, but honestly you weren't in the mood for sweet talk right now. you've been extremely horny since you guys woke up in the morning and eric rather gave all his attention to his stupid homework than to his "gorgeous girlfriend".

"how long will that stuff take ? i've been waiting for hours and i need you right nowww", you whine. "mhm patience my girl, rushing me wont help you", he responds.

a sigh left your mouth and you let your hand fall on his thigh, resting it there for some time. he obviously didn't mind, so you started carressing it, giving it some squeezes in between. "y/n please, if the fact that you are staring at me all the time didn't make me nervous enough, this is, for sure.. i'll be finished very soon and will be all yours then, alright ?", he scratched his head and gently pushed your hand away from his thigh. flashing him the biggest smile and nodding at the same time, you stood up and walked over to his closet. you'd be getting what you wanted, one way or another.

you opened erics closet, looking for one of his shirts to throw on. after you found what you were looking for, you unclasped your bra and pulled your shirt over your head. tossing them both on the floor, you turned around to see if eric was looking - no chance. you groaned, took off your pants and threw them onto your other clothes. while quickly slipping his shirt over, you still kept an eye on him. honestly how could anyone look THAT hot while studying ??

you were now left with only his big ass tshirt and your panties on, making your way back to him. instead of sitting back onto your own seat, you let yourself down on erics lap. he let out a sigh once again: "you comfortable now, ma'am ?" you hummed in response and started to move around a little, trying to get even more 'comfortable'.

"if you insist on sitting in my lap, could you at least stay still ? listen, you're not the only person in this household who'd prefer to do something else right now, but i really have to get this done and having you move around on my dick is not helpi- is that my shirt you're wearing ??"

this time you didn't respond in any way, you just kept moving around and squeezing his thighs. eric tried to push you off of his lap, but you stayed stubborn: "is there a problem with it ? also,, your little friend's telling me you love having me in your lap.."

"no, there's not but.. please get up, i can't work like that ! and never call my dick 'little friend' again !", he complained. after he tried to push you away multiple times, you actually got up and were now standing next to him, looking like you don't belong anywhere.

"you know i'd love to spend my time with you right now, but i really have to focus on studying at the moment.. also, why the hell are you not wearing pants anymore ??", he groaned after seeing your bare legs poke out below his shirt, ".. you're really something else, you know that, right ? just let me finish my work now." you had to hold back a laugh at how annoyed he seemed, but compared to you, eric didn't think there was anything to laugh about. he rolled his eyes, concentrating on his studies again.

at this point you were becoming a little frustrated too, not understanding how he could still resist you and STILL prefer working on school rather than working on you (ehehe). all of the sudden an idea came to your mind, that one has to work for sure !you grabbed the pen he was currently writing with and threw it on the floor;

"oh noo, seems like you dropped something.. let me help you !"

you bend down in front of him, revealing half your ass and picking up the pen, when you're being pulled back onto his lap again. "enough of that, stop playing around already. you just wont let me study, will you ? fucking brat, you think you can keep acting up like that all day and expect me to stay calm ?"

out of shock you dropped the pen you just picked up again and immediatly felt your heat throbbing at his reaction.

did that really just work ??

now he was the one to squeeze your thighs, but he didn't go easy on you. he grabbed a handful of your flesh and roughly kneaded it until you felt a burning pain spreading in that area, the pain causing you to moan. "bet you just wanted me to snap at some point, right ? test how far you could push me until i go crazy ?" you hummed, slightly embarrassed at the fact, that seeing your boyfriend being annoyed of you turned you on that much.

after you admitted to that, his hands were quick to find their way to your core, rubbing your clothed clit. you let your head fall back onto his chest, "knew it.. ", he whispered. eric also murmured something else you didn't quiet understand, but you were just trying to enjoy the moment really. "all that teasing just for the tiniest bit of pleasure..", he then added, ".. you couldn't even be patient about it.. unbelievable."

after a good minute of him straight up teasing you, you started whining. "please, s-stop teasing me..", you stuttered.

"huh, what did you say ? weren't you the one to start all the teasing ?", he cheekily asked, and you just groaned in response. "come on, speak up baby, tell me what you want." "please.. just touch me eric god damn, i've been waiting for this the entire day, i really need you, please.."

that earned you a little chuckle from eric: "hmm i don't think you derseve to be touched at all, thinking of the way you acted up all day..", regardless of what he just said, he got rid of your panties and started properly rubbing your clit. his free hand went up to your throat, giving it a good squeeze, "you've been such a brat, not listening to me and teasing me all day.. shouldn't i be punishing you rather than pleasuring you now ?"

you shook your head 'no': "you just looked so good concentrating on your stuff and all and- oh fuck..", you were interrupted by him letting a finger sink into you, curling it upwards and squeezing your throat tighter. finally getting what you wanted just felt way too good..

"god, feels like you're soaking and i haven't even started yet..", eric panted and started moving his finger inside of you, soon adding another one. "feels.. so nice.. please keep going.." your breathing became even heavier as the hand that was resting around your throat now went down to your boobs, teasing your nipples and twisting them gently. by that time you could feel an obvious bulge poking at your butt, so you tried lifting your hips a bit and returning the favor. "don't even think about that, you're not getting to touch me", eric demands, increasing the speed of his fingers pumping in and out of you, "drop your attitude first."

"i-i don't know what you mean..", you panted and closed your eyes, to solely focus on his actions. "oh, so now you don't know what i'm talking about anymore ?", he mocked and pumped his fingers as far into you as he could, earning a surprised moan from you, ".. you don't remember dropping that pen on purpose just to show your fucking ass off to me ? was that someone else then ?" him bringing that up made you clench around his fingers and you couldn't hold back any of your moans anymore. you automatically pressed your butt against his bulge, hoping to get any kind of response to that.

even though he managed to hold back how horny he actually was pretty well, you could clearly hear him cursing under his breath now. "and also.. shit.. what are you gonna do about it, huh ? about me disrespecting you and.. n-not listeni-.." eric shoved his free fingers into your mouth, stopping you from talking. "shut your mouth already, am i not doing enough for you yet? needy little brat, once i've made you cum i'll throw you on the bed and fuck some sense into you, but you'd probably even like that, wouldn't you ?"

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if you read until here,, wow, tysm ! i hope you somewhat enjoyed it lol

i'm actually thinking about writing a part 2, if anyone would even be interested in that.. anywaysss

feel free to request whatever you like !

feedback is always welcome ~

stay healthy & stan the boyz ♡

honestly what a visual god wow

[mccnglade]

many reasons; dazai osamu

DAZAI OSAMU X READER

In hindsight, you should have realised that running after Dazai was not a good decision on your part...

WORD COUNT: 1.8K words

WARNINGS: mentions of suicide, abuse (not reader's), angst (if you squint), fluffy ending. MILD SPOILERS FOR BUNGO STRAY DOGS SEASON 3

(e/c) - eye color

A/N: sorry if the formatting is a bit wonky!! i'm posting this on mobile because tumblr doesn't work on my stupid, old laptop.

this fic is really super, self-indulgent because dazai is my favorite in bsd and i love when situations like the one in this one shot happen in anime, so i combined the two things and wrote this. this was actually going be a scene in a dazai fic i'm thinking of posting on my wattpad, but i decided to scrap it and write it as a oneshot. i hope you all enjoy reading this!!

Also shoutout to @neonghxst who wanted me to finish this one shot hehe. thanks to her, i got the inspiration to actually write this and finish it.

"Are you sure we should have left him like that?"

You fiddled with the ends of your coat sleeves. Upon hearing about Atsushi's new case and the end result, you immediately wanted to give the boy a hug and never let him go. He had been through so much these past few weeks and hearing about the death of that abusive headmaster of his old orphanage must have been incredibly painful.

But Dazai had promptly pulled you away, after saying exactly what needed to be said. (He always knew what to say in any kind of situation and that made you feel jealous a lot of times)

"Things like that are meant to be dealt with alone. Atsushi-kun will manage," Dazai answered with a cool tone. "You worry too much, (Y/N)-chan."

He tried to ruffle your hair but you slapped his hand away with a huff.

"I have every right to worry, you know," You crossed your arms, angrily staring at the ground. You and Dazai had already left the port area and now were back in the city, walking next to each other. "He and Kyouka just...I just wanna give them both a hug and adopt them as family."

This time, Dazai successfully managed to ruffle your hair."You are very funny, (Y/N)-chan."

"I'm not being funny! I'll actually adopt them, just you wait and see."

"As amusing as that would be, I'm gonna stop you there."

"Why?"

"Well, it's nighttime now. And we are almost near the river. The moon's pretty bright today. Which means one thing and one thing only."

"What, Dazai?"

"It's the perfect time for a double suicide!" 

Dazai suddenly grabbed you by the waist and spun you around. You felt your face grow warmer as he kept his hands on your waist, meanwhile going on about the benefits of a double suicide.

"D-dazai! Let go!" You physically tried to struggle out of his grip, knowing that your Ability was useless in this situation. "Just let go, dumbass!"

"Nope, not gonna." 

Dazai let go of your waist, but then immediately grabbed your hand. But you managed to pull it away. He stuck his tongue out at you. "You are no fun, (Y/N)-chan."

You glared at him. "How many times do I have to tell you no, you bandage squandering idiot?!"

"Ahh!! You sound so much like Kunikida-kun! Why didn't you tell me you were so great at impersonating others?"

"Huh?! What's that supposed to mean?" You went to shove his shoulder but he dodged it,  jumping aside with his annoying (endearing) laugh. You tried to hit him again, but he dodged this time too and started running.

"Oi, Dazai! Come back here, you idiot!"

You ran too, trying to catch up to him so that you could, at least, flick his forehead before slapping him. Why was he so annoying, you always wondered. 

'Isn't this why you like him?' Your heart whispered to you.

'Shut up,' You told it.

You kept on running. Even as you did, the sun had almost set, taking its red and orange hues and replacing it with the dark, navy blue of the night sky. The running brought you to the river bank, a spot where both you and Kunikida had to drag Dazai out of. For some reason, he declared this spot and drowning as his top favorite for a double suicide.

It was incredibly annoying, but at the same time, also incredibly saddening and you wished you knew more about why he was like this.

Finally, you caught up with him. 

In hindsight, you should have realised that running after Dazai was not a good decision on your part. 

Both of you stumbled down the river bank, holding onto each other because there was nothing else to grab onto. The slant river bank ended and they were on flat ground again.

But...but, both of you were in a rather compromising position. 

Usually, you were a pretty confident and self-assured person. But when it came to situations like these (or any romantic situations)…well, you were still pretty inexperienced. So inexperienced actually that you hadn't kissed anyone in a long while, almost two years to be exact. Relationships had always seemed like a waste of time to you, but being in such close proximity of the man you currently yearned for was doing wonders for your heart. (In a good way and a bad away)

Dazai's arms were on your shoulders, pinning you to the ground. He loomed over you, his brown eyes staring right into your (e/c) ones. 

You swore you could detect something there before it was hidden behind his mask again. 

No longer were you able to keep the warmth away from your face. You knew you probably resembled a tomato right now. You wanted to get out of this position quickly, but deep down, your mind and your heart both resisted. And you felt like agreeing with them this time. You wouldn't get a chance like this ever again.

So you decided to speak.

And immediately regret it.

"Your eyes are pretty," The combined forces of your heart and mind make you say something stupidly embarrassing and you immediately want to cover your face. But you can't. So you continue.

Even the darkness of night couldn't keep the redness of your cheeks hidden. 

"I mean, they're not just an ugly brown color. They have this amber-like quality to them. And everytime light hits them, they almost shine and it makes them more beautiful than I ever thought. Like seriously, you have really beautiful eyes. Personally, your eyes are your best feature and they're one of the many reasons I fell for you."

(You wanna crush your own stupid heart for that last bit.)

"Oh?" That was all Dazai said, that stupidly endearing smirk on his face. "Many reasons? What are they again?"

"Um, uh," You hesitated, turning your head to the side. This was more embarrassing than any other situation you had ever been in. There was nowhere else to go and while you could have kicked Dazai away with ease, truth be told you really didn't want to do that. How many chances like this would you ever get? "I don't even know when I started liking you. And maybe it's a stupid thing because nothing is ever going to come out of it, but yeah. I have feelings for you, Dazai Osamu. Truth be told, I can sort of understand why you ask women to commit a double suicide with you. You want someone to be by your side, right? You don't want to be lonely when you die. I guess I can understand that, though I wish I could show you the joy in living. But I don't think I'll ever be able to change your mind."

You laughed nervously, looking anywhere but at Dazai's face, where his smirk had been replaced by a more serious look. "I went on a totally different tangent there, didn't I? You can forget that last bit but to sum up everything, I have feelings for you. I don't expect you to return them anyways so...yeah."

Now, you looked at Dazai. His expression was unreadable. You couldn't understand what emotions were written on his face. You didn't even know what he would do next. Would he reciprocate your feelings? Would he reject them? What would he do? You wanted answers and you weren't getting them.

Then again, it was partly your fault also. You suddenly sprung these feelings on him. You shouldn't expect him to answer quickly. 

(Secretly, you also thought that Dazai wasn't the type of person who'd ever truly  love someone. It was just your stupid luck he was the person you fell for.)

Unexpectedly, Dazai suddenly moved off you, giving you the opportunity to finally sit up and contemplate your next moves.

'Should I just run away?' You thought, thinking about the pain of rejection. You'd deal with it. Somehow. 'It's the coward's way out. But what more can I do?'

"If you're thinking of running away, don't," Dazai suddenly said, meeting your eyes with a stare so intense that you swore he could read every single thought in your mind. 

"That was not what I was thinking," You clearly lied, crossing your arms. 

"You know, I can tell that you're lying, my Belladonna," Dazai put his hand on your cheek, his slender fingers brushing away the stray strands of hair on your face. "You are not a very good liar."

"D — wh-what?" You froze up completely. Because as much as you would like to deny, even an action like this left you wanting more. His hands were inexplicably warm and strangely soft. You couldn't even think about running away now. Dazai put his other hand behind your back, pulling you close to him. Close enough that your noses were almost touching and you could see the little flecks of amber in his pretty brown eyes. 

"D-do you also h-have feelings f-for me?"

What the hell was wrong with your voice? You wanted to ask your question again, but your words died in your throat. 

Instead, your heart chose to speak. You tilted your head slightly, barely brushing your lips against his. Even this small action sent volts of electricity coursing through your body. But then, your courage fizzled out and you tried to move back. 

Key word; tried. 

Dazai put his hand at the back of your head and pulled you closer, finally,  freaking finally, kissing you. 

You wished you could describe what you were feeling, but you really couldn't. Your mind was completely shut down and all you could really think was, that you were floating. And since it was your one of the few kisses you had in your life, you didn't know what to do. So you kept on pressing your mouth against Dazai's, trying to have more; trying to feel more of him. 

It was strange, it felt so strange. But kissing Dazai felt incredibly…amazing. Yeah, amazing. Just him and you and nothing else. You felt like you could touch the stars now and you didn't want it to end. You wanted to keep on doing this forever, or as long as both of you could. 

But then, Dazai suddenly ended the kiss, pulling back with a lazy grin.

You stared at him, breathing heavily. And then, you let your head fall onto his shoulder, grabbing onto to the front of his cream-colored trench coat. 

"Does that answer your question, (Y/N)-chan?" He asked with a sing-song voice, suddenly hugging you. 

"So you do like me?" Your voice was muffled by his coat, but you knew he heard you clearly. 

His lips were pressed onto your neck, moving with his answer. You understood it immediately. Releasing his coat from your hands, you hugged him back.  

You knew this moment wouldn't last very long, but you would revel in it for now. 

It was going to be the only thing on your mind for a very long time.

a/n: i hope this was a fun read! with this quarantine, i've been thinking of attempting to write more character x readers because they are good practice for writing a multi-chapter fic. so you might see more bsd, haikyuu and bnha content on here. I might also post about DC so let's see.

My wattpad

[hogwartsmc]

One more curse to break.

Drabble : friendship

Words: 2341

(Mc is a hufflepuff, her name is Lucie, it's her point of view.)

-Guys you need to help me!

She came to a stop at the table her friends were having breakfast at, taking a painful deep breath. She had come running as fast as she could from the hufflepuff dorms and now her lungs felt like they were on fire.

-What's wrong? Ben asked, obviously panicked.

-It's Rowan! She breathed deeply.

-What happened? Is she hurt? Badeea inquired in concern.

-Worse! She's reading!

They all stared at her in silence. The utter stupidity of her words were baffling.

-I don't get it. Barnaby chuckled nervously. Isn't that what she always does?

-We live with her and you just realised that? Penny raised an eyebrow.

-Its different! Lucie huffed and puffed. She was still out of breath. I think it's a cursed book!

Ben gasped at her words. Tulip and Jae seemed to have suddenly gotten interested in her story. Barnaby seemed uneasy and the rest just looked at her skeptically.

-Do you have any reasons to believe the book is cursed? Charlie finally asked.

-She can't put it down!

-Well.. Bill tried to find a way to phrase it nicely. She kind of always has a book with her. Did you never realise?

Lucie sighed deeply. If only she could breathe properly, she could explain what she meant. Now they just thought she was as dumb as a rock.

-How about you sit down, calm down a little and then explain yourself. Tonks offered.

Lucie nodded and sat next to Jae. She focused on her breathing and after a couple minutes she felt better.

-Ok, i'm good. She signaled.

Her friends turned to her once again.

-She's been reading this book for a week now. And we all know how much of a fast reader she is so that's already one thing that doesn't make sense. Second, she reads during class and doesn't listen to the teachers.

-That is weird! Badeea exclaimed.

-Also, when i woke up in the middle of the night because of my insomnia, she was reading again! And the same book she'd been reading all day!

She could see her friends were a bit more receptive now. But they didn't seem to understand the urgency of the situation yet.

-And this morning, she was reading again. And i asked her if she'd slept and she just hummed.

She made a dramatic pause. Looking her friends in the eyes.

-I was looking for a way to get her attention. So i told her i had pictures of Bill shirtless.

Bill choked on his toast.

-And she didn't even bat an eye. Lucie continued, undisturbed. I'm really worried guys!

-Rewind a bit there. Penny said.

-You have shirtless pictures of Bill? Charlie frowned.

-That's not what matters. She rolled her eyes.

-Yes it does. Bill screamed out.

-You should have showed her shirtless pictures of Barnaby. Tulip sighed.

-Yeah he got more pecs! Tonks nodded.

-Am i even hearing this right now? Andre said dejectedly.

-You didn't take those pictures in the Gryffindor dorms right. Ben clutched the front of his robes.

-I know some people who'd be interested in paying for these pictures. Jae hunched closer to her. If you’ve got some snaps of Charlie and Barnaby too that could have it's worth.

Barnaby shrugged, seemingly clueless while Charlie turned a deep shade of red.

-Guys? Lucie called them, jaded. I don't actually have pictures of Bill! I'm not a pervert.

Bill sighed in relief and the rest just let out a silent oh.

-It's good to know you're not a stalker. Badeea solemnly said.

-Why didn't you ask for pictures of me? Andre asked Jae, indignantly. I'm a catch!

-As i said. Jae calmly explained. I personally know people who'd be interested in those pictures.

-I would. Tulip confessed.

-Lucie, you're one of these people aren't you? Tonks winked.

-What? Why would i pay for pictures that i took, that'd be so dumb!

-Not the most outrageous part of the story Lucie. Penny pointed out.

-I can't believe no one would buy my pictures! Andre sulked.

-I can't believe anyone would buy mine! Barnaby stated, eyes wide.

-Jae, you can't sell compromising pictures of people. Bill howled. That's an invasion of privacy!

-Well i don't actually do it, but as Lucie had pictures i thought i'd be nice if i could profit off of it.

-You still had the intent to and that's just as bad!

-Guys, Rowan! Lucie reminded them. We need to stage an intervention to sneak on her, pry the book off of her hands, burn it  three times and then cleanse her soul.

-What was the last part? Badeea asked.

-Cleanse her soul?

-Yeah… why?

-Because she was cursed! You can't just obsess over a book like that, for no reason, all of a sudden. No book is that good! Even Lord of the rings!

-What now? Bill shot her a confused look.

-It's a muggle trilogy, i was reading it and she got curious so i lended her the books. Ben explained in an apologetic tone.

-That's right, those three books that were meant to be one by its author are masterpieces. Way better than those stupid Lockhart books people read, which proves we can only benefit from living along with muggles! They have the best of culture and entertainment! Queen, Tolkien, The Beatles, Jacques Brel and so much more that i can't think of right now!

Silence.

-Anyway. She cleared her throat. Who's got any ideas on how to save Rowan?

-I say we grab her and stuck her head in cold water.

-To snap her out of her trance or just for the heck of it, Tulip? Penny accusingly asked.

-I was trying to help! Tulip shot Penny an offended look. At least i'm doing something, unlike that one over there who's staring at his freaking sausage!

Lucie couldn't help a snort from leaving her lips. Her friends all had amused looks on their faces, aside from Charlie who looked positively  horrified.

-I meant the one on his plate. Tulip added. Just in case…

-You ok there, Charles? Bill smirked.

-I'm fine! Charlie half-screamed.

Lucie bit her lips to keep herself from laughing and further embarrass the redhead.

-So should we stick with Tulip's plan or what?

-It can be plan b. Penny said.

-We should try and see if we can distract her from her book in some other, nicer way. Andre said.

-Come on Bill. Tonks sighed. Take off your shirt.

-Not funny. Bill groaned.

-I was thinking of asking her to explain to us the political context of the Goblin Rebellion. Andre cocked an eyebrow. But that may be a better idea.

-What? Bill choked on his juice this time. No way!

-Ooh! Naked Bill! Tulip exclaimed.

The students around them turned to look over at their table. Merula who was sitting at slytherin's table shot them an aggravated look before shaking her head. Liz, who sometimes hung out with them, was sporting an amused expression.

But the best part was the seemingly disappointed looks on a couple students’ faces at the sight of a fully clothed. Bill.

-They are people who'd be interested! Lucie said in disbelief.

-Oh for god's sake! Bill let out a frustrated sigh.

-I'm surprised they're so many girls who have yet to see you naked. Penny pensively said.

Bill glared at her and Penny just shrugged. Not impressed in the slightest.

-They probably want a souvenir to remember the good times by. Charlie smirked.

The eldest Weasley reached out for his wand but Badeea stopped him.

-Don't. I need to immortalise this moment.

-Why?! He asked in frustration.

-There are so many emotions at play. Badeea dreamily said.

-Ok, naked Bill is a really nice idea. Lucie said, ignoring the latter's furious glare. But we want to get Rowan out of her obsession, not get her into another one. So i say, we go with Andre's idea. If it doesn't work we use Tulip's plan.

-Ravenclaw rules! Tulip exclaimed, a huge grin on her face.

-Not at quidditch. Charlie said smugly.

They spent the rest of the day trying to catch Rowan between classes but as soon as the bell rang, she disappeared.

But their chance came as they made their way to the great hall to eat at noon. She was discussing fervently with Nearly-headless Nick and didn't realise they were there until Barnaby and Bill grabbed her arms.

-Wha.. Rowan couldn't finish as her friends were dragging her to the nearest closet.

Once they were all in, Badeea locked the door and they all turned to Rowan. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was opened in confusion.

-What are you guys doing? She finally screamed at them. I almost had a heart attack. You can't sneak up on people like that!

-Where's the book? Lucie demanded.

-What? Rowan looked around, even more confused than before. Do you mean your brother's journal?

-No your book! Lucie dramatically said. The one you can't put down, even during class. We know it's cursed.

Rowan gaped at her. What was Lucie on about this time?

-Not everything's cursed… You know that, right? Rowan asked softly.

-I know, but that book is! Otherwise, why would you turn down naked pictures of Bill!

-What?! Rowan let out a shriek, her cheeks reddening immediately.

-They were shirtless pictures! Bill screamed out. And they don't even exist! He quickly added.

-Adds a little spice to the story. Lucie calmly said.

-Why would i even want to see that! Rowan shout in a high voice.

-Heu… Curiosity? Tonks tried to help Rowan out. But she just groaned and hid her face in her hands.

-Just give us the book! Tulip tempted.

-My book is perfectly normal, it's a simple story. Rowan protested, her cheeks flaming red.

-Then you won't mind us taking a look, right?. Andre intervened.

Rowan let out a frustrated groan.

-I don't want to!

-Why not? If it's a regular book, we'll let it go immediately. Charlie tried to reason with her.

-No way! Why do you believe Lucie and not me?!

-Yeah they didn't. Lucie cleared out. But i had compelling evidence. I had them beg on their knees for forgiveness.

-Don't say that so seriously, i almost believed you. Barnaby complained.

-You were there though Barnaby. Penny raised an eyebrow.

-That's what's creepy. He nodded.

-Now i'm anxious. Ben shivered.

-You are all out of your minds. Rowan made a move to get out of the closet but all her friends were in the way.

-We just want to check the book, make sure everything's fine. Penny softly said.

Rowan sighed as she crossed her arms on her chest.

-If we're wrong, we'll make it up to you. Ben said.

Rowan glared at her friends before reaching for the book inside her bag. They held their breath as she lifted it up. Lucie reached for it, catching it with the tip of her fingers, trying to minimize contact.

She was taking a dramatic deep breath, readying herself to open the book when it was snatched from her.

She turned to Penny startled.

-”Moonlight Stroll” Penny read aloud.

-What? Andre asked, dumbfounded. It's a romance book?

-”An epic love story between a handsome werewolf and a young girl so beautiful she could be a veela.” Badeea read over Penny's shoulder.

-Oh god, these werewolves love story are so stupid. Tonks rolled her eyes.

-You worried us for this?! Jae turned to Lucie, unamused. A stupid romance novel.

-It's not stupid! Rowan defended her book, cheeks red.

-I can't believe you turned down shirtless Bill for that. Tulip shook her head.

-Can i get my book back now?! Rowan glared at them.

-No! Lucie sent the book flying away. Penny, Badeea and Charlie had to crouch down to avoid getting hit.

-What are you doing? Bill shot her a confused look.

-The book is trying to fool you! It has the appearance of a bad quality soap opera romance novel. Rowan groaned. But it has a hidden hypnotic message..

-Of course it does! Ben groaned. That way you buy all the sequels and the author makes a ton of money. Even muggle books do that, it has nothing to do with magic or curses.

-Oh.. Lucie said. Really?

-What a waste of my time. Jae sighed. No pictures. No cursed books… Although we could do something about the pictures.

-Get out of here! Bill got pissed.

Jae shrugged before doing as he was told. They all followed him out, there was no point in them staying any longer in the cupboard.

Bill went on his way, groaning. Badeea and Penny excused themselves as for Andre and Barnaby, they left for the quidditch pitch.

Lucie got the book back from where she tossed it and gave it back to Rowan with an apologetic smile.

-Sorry. She tried. I was being a total shithead.

-It's okay. I know you meant well. Rowan shyly smiled. But you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover.

-Rowan. Lucie frowned. The summary sucks too.

-Everyone reads it, even old ladies! Rowan reddened again.

-Yeah well, old ladies have a weird craving for soft porn. Tulip said.

-What?

-Just my grandmother then. Tulip shrugged as Tonks was laughing so hard she tripped on the carpet.

-It's okay Rowan, i'll lent you “Lord of the rings”. Lucie put an arm around her friend's shoulders. There are three books.

-They're not yours to lend. Charlie laughed

-It's okay. Ben shrugged. She loves them so much i can't take them back.

-Are there dragons in them?

-No. Ben paused. Although there's one mentioned in the book that takes place before the trilogy. But he's not exactly the hero…

-Does it talk? Charlie excitedly asked.

-Yeah he does. Do you want me to lend you the book?

-Yeah, that'd be awesome.

-You guys should really give a go to romance books you know.

Rowan's words were met by a long silence.

-You guys suck. She sighed.

-But you still love us. Lucie laughed.

The end

[sw4tch]

I Will become personally responsable for making Saera n Ch oi ascend to sainthood just by constantly worshipping and talking to him as if he's some sort of angelic entity only I'm privy to

Sounds a bit weird but really it's mostly just a "oh saeran, we're really in it now" kind of energy

Anyway tomorrow I'm moving to a nicer apartment with new, nicer and cleaner, roommates that i actually trust, but I'm really nervous, anxious and kinda scared I'll fuck something up

No in small thanks because my mother talked to me as if i was going to, so no votes of confidence there i guess

And now I'm moving things around the small room, packing them, pacing around, watching a video in the background and thinking "Oh Saeran, i wish you were here to hold me and tell me everything will be alright"

Because i really need the confidence, i need the reassurance no one will give Because i dont ask for it, i dont beg for it, other than to my platonic ideal of a soulmate- who is Him, my beloved, my dearest Recovery angel

When i moved to this city and my mother refused to comfort me on the way there, i imagined him holding my hand and telling me how i would never be alone, and how everything would be alright because it's me, and I'm resilient

How even though we are worlds away, he loves me, and we will be happy someday

Our promise of happiness

And it's stupid, and mental, perhaps, to cling so hard to words from a visual novel mobile game that's really cliche at parts and yet

And yet

If he can make it, if he can resist anything, if he's strong, and if he can keep his heart soft even after all the trauma of his story-

Then so can I! My dearest bpd angel, my beloved, the only one who'd understand my loneliness, the only one who'd see my heart and show me his, just so we can lick our wounds together

I'm losing time explaining this, and i dont know why i felt the need to, honestly. These are genuinely very private thoughts that probably make me sound insane, but it's just my most gentle coping mechanism

Thinking about Saeran, and thinking about how i want to be strong for him, and thinking about how i will never be alone because we believe in each other

In our promise of happiness, even in my darkest of days

Even though he is entirely fictional, i love to love him in this way.

Isn't it childish? To keep him in my heart this way, like some sort of imaginary friend?

Perhaps it is so.

Perhaps it is.

But I don't want to bother anyone with how fragile my heart can be at times. It is not weakness to ask for help.

And yet, and yet, and yet.

I'd rather eat my intestines sometimes, rather than bother those i love with my ugly inner thoughts.

I feel too much, my emotions are bigger than an ocean, and they will drown anyone other than me

I have just learned to sink to the deep end without making much noise.

But i hate when i feel like a mermaid, dragging someone else to the depths just because i wanted to sing melodies of despair, to let them out from my chest

So i write. And i vent. And i yearn for a fictional man who's almost as traumatized as me, and i keep myself sweet, and tender, and small.

And only he will hear my pain, unless my melodies escape me. But i try not to. I try not to sing.

I have to remind myself that my friends are there for me. I have people in my life that love me just because i am me. I am loved. I really am.

But my possible BPD, it's so ugly, it's too much, i can never be satisfied, i can never be comforted enough.

Why would I want them to see such an ugly side of me, more than once? More than it's necessary? It's no good to bottle up, i know, but when your emotions are tidal waves- they'll drown out any love you receive.

Why would you subject those that love you to that? You're not dumb, you've seen the truth of the world.

People love you until you're an inconvenience.

My love, those are cruel thoughts.

Those are cruel words.

Those are cruel to believe from those you love, knowing well you'd never apply it to them.

You're scared, and you're venting, and I understand. And you write when you're upset. And I'm so glad you've always let writing be your outlet. But perhaps you should also recognize when you're letting your dark thoughts color your writing.

When are my dark thoughts not there, though?

I'd prefer if you allowed yourself some comfort, that's why we're here after all.

It's okay.

Tomorrow you'll do your best, and that'll be enough.

People won't yell at you for mistakes you might make. It's okay.

You'll do great anyway.

Don't let the nerves eat you away.

It'll be fun, even. You'll get to decorate around your new room.

It'll be a lot of work too, but you can play music, any songs you like, and sing away as you work

You'll do great. I know you will.

And the sun will rise and the world will keep turning.

And the universe will be none the wiser to any mistakes you make. Because you're free, and you will always be free, on its eyes.

Breathe.

Breathe. And cry, but let me dry your tears.

We'll be okay.

Thank you.

Sometimes i forget the sound of your voice.

It's okay.

You can still hear it in your heart, anyway.

Must be weird, for anyone reading this.

But for now it's just us and only us. And the world fades away.

Any song you like, we'll sing it. No judgement.

Thank you for being kind to yourself. I do it because i love you. And i do love myself. I am doing my best to love myself in the ways i want to love others.

Not to be worthy of love, but to be worthy of myself. I deserve only the best. And that means living better.

Oh, we will live so much better in the apartment.

I'm sure we will.

I want to go back to packing the last things. It's okay.

My love, my beloved, my dearest, my one and only angel... Aren't we weird?

And deeply, deeply in love.

Love for thyself, shall be love for us.

Loving Saeran Choi is something that can be so personal.