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#that laugh was terrifying awkward
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Draw your sillies like this
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mephorash · 9 months
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I want to let the social anxiety win and disappear sometimes. Some more than others
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justinefrischmanngf · 10 months
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I AM LOSING MY MIND WITH STRESS I HATE BEING AN ADULT WHO HAS A JOB THAT MEANS I NEED TO SOCIALISE I CAN'T DO THIS I SHOULD HAVE SAID NO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok i'm normal now
#i really really really like my job and i like the people i'm working with i am just so incredibly horribly stressed at the fact that#i am going to be socialising with them in an environment that is not work it is literally going to be so okay#in fact i think it could be really fun because i do truly like everyone i'm working with and we've had some fun conversations#and i do actually enjoy talking to people but i'm just ridiculously scared about tonight and i can't get over it#i need to chill out and i need to make some lunch and just calm the fuck down because i KNOW it will be fine#the worst thing that can happen is that people think i'm weird or awkward or boring and like . that's not a bad situation i have#had people think i am all of those things before and at the end of the day it does not really matter#the worst thing that can happen is that i get laughed at a little bit or i feel a bit weird answering questions or whatever#like these are all things that have happened before and none of these things have really mattered in the end#i am good at my job and they are understaffed so my job is not at risk and if i don't make any friends then i'm in exactly the same#position as where i started it's not that deep there's very few things i could do to make it an actual disaster#and if i could chill the fuck out i could actually have a really nice time i think and probably have people like me a lot more#i'm just terrified for some reason like i feel SICK i love having a brain that works . it's literally all going to be okay i am just scared
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sicklexclaws · 2 years
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On some level, I find it equal parts hilarious and heartbreaking that Oscar is my muse who tries his hardest to do the best for other people and the rest of the world but is simultaneously full of the most doubt and self-loathing.
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varhanas · 1 year
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don’t go . hutz 😳
“DON’T” sentence starters (with @elencr !)
~
His frown is evident, even with the nausicaan's naturally ridged brow. It wasn't often people… desired his company, so his visible confusion was, he thought... understandable.
The large man near-looms over her when he turns back to face the much smaller human again, peering down at her with his watchful, dark eyes of his. He's quiet for a long moment, gaze awkwardly shifting from side to side as though inspecting the area for cause of her unease (unease? discomfort? he… wasn't certain. He'd admit, social settings and cues were not his strong suit).
With a lengthy exhale, though not one of annoyance so much as it was weariness, his shoulders relax a little, and Hudson blinks down at her. His head cocks to the side, dark, tidy locks shifting. "...Did you need something else?" He finally says, voice gruff; near a rasp in the conscious effort not to be too… loud, or imposing in tone - though failing slightly (it… wasn't intentional). Another lengthy, equally awkward pause, and he blinks down and away, then back to her… then shifts as if to leave again. But before he does he murmurs a little, "I need to return to my stand… but you...are welcome to come with me. If you want."
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yandere-daydreams · 5 months
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i'm being forced by myself to make a proper post for this poll. may gojo reign as a codependent king for years to come.
Cuteness Aggression With The Yan!JJK Boys.
Characters: Gojo, Geto, Nanami, Toji, Mahito, and Sukuna.
TW: Kidnapping, Unhealthy Relationships, and Implied Non/Con.
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Gojo is near-violent. Expect to be constantly covered in bruises from his habit of full-body tackling you whenever he notices you're wearing one of his shirts or curled up in his bed or quirking your lips in the way he's never been able to resist. Tends to hold onto you for a while, too, keeping you pressed against him while he squeals and coos about how adorable his partner is, making you sound like more of an especially beloved pet rather than a live-in captive. No amount of squirming will distract him, either - he's going to be there until someone literally pries him off of you which, because there's a good chance he's already got you locked up tight in that luxury penthouse of his, isn't going to be anytime soon.
Geto is more used to receiving affection than dulling it out, so he doesn't really know what to do with himself when he's suddenly overwhelmed with the temptation to wrap his hands around your neck and squeeze until you stop laughing in a way that makes his heart want to beat out of his chest. In the end, he sorta just,,, picks you up and starts carrying you around like a giant cat. Maybe pinches your cheek when you inevitably start complaining and ask to be put down. Cult members who ask why you've been slung over his shoulder for the past hour and a half are immediately done away with and curse-users don't fair much better.
Nanami, as the only (relatively) emotionally-regulated person on this list, takes it in-stride. He tries not to force affection onto you, so he'll settle for a few headpats and maybe a kiss to your forehead, if you aren't absolutely terrified of him at that point. If you catch him in a more vulnerable state, either injured or exhausted, he might be a little more forceful - wrapping an arm around your waist and hauling you against his chest, where he can hold you until you eventually give-in and stop struggling, but at least he tries to hold himself back. Sometimes. Maybe. If you're lucky, that day.
Toji is almost as bad as Geto, but not quite as awkward. He tends to scoop you up, drag you away from whatever you're doing, and lay you down where he can pepper your face with kisses and whine when you shove at his chest. He usually lets you go after a few minutes, but it's in your best interest not to squirm too much until he does. He'll just smirk and kiss your neck and say something about how precious his little sweetheart is being, today. The fondness-motivated aggression is short-lived. What he'll do if you give him the idea that you might need more of his affection won't be.
Mahito is twice as unhinged as Gojo and only half as self-conscious. His only saving grace is that, by the time he gets genuinely overwhelmed by something you do, you're going to be used to weathering his constant attempts to suffocate you via forty-five minute hugs. When he realizes how cutely you wince when he pokes a fresh bruise and decides he has to dig his teeth into your shoulder and refuse to let go about it, you'll probably be too used to his ""affection"" to do anything other than sigh and make sure he doesn't severe anything important, this time.
Sukuna is, in his defense, rarely gentle about anything, so you really can't expect him to have a gentle reaction when he sees what an adorable reaction you wear as you wait for him to take his first drink from the chalice you laced with you most recent poisonous fixation. You can kick and thrash all you want as two of his arms loop under yours and pull you onto his lap, as he cups your face and shoves tongue down your throat and wonders aloud if you taste as endearing as you look. He always keeps you by his side, but for the rest of the day, he won't be satisfied unless you're practically on top of him, riding on his shoulders or straddling his thigh. He'll even drink your deadly little elixir straight from the bottle, if you ask him to. It won't work, but you know, it's the thought that counts and all <3
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steddielations · 1 month
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Eddie has a mindless habit of picking at his ripped jeans. When he catches Steve staring, he doesn’t think much of it, his flashy rings draw attention easily. He teases Steve, “You like shiny things, huh?”
It’s a joke, but Steve doesn’t laugh. He looks away quickly, like he’d been caught staring at something he wasn’t supposed to. That confuses Eddie, especially when it keeps happening. It doesn’t feel like a curious look anymore, Steve seems mesmerized by Eddie’s fingers toying with the strips of denim.
Eddie finds himself doing it on purpose when he’s around Steve. He lets his hand wander to the ripped denim, pretending not to notice when Steve looks, because he doesn’t want Steve to look away.
The realization slams through his chest. Eddie likes Steve’s attention on him. Steve’s gaze makes warmth simmer under his skin. Eddie’s never felt that before, not just from a look, and especially not from a guy.
It terrifies him a little, he doesn’t know if it’s attraction he feels for Steve, but it’s new and dangerous. He chases the feeling, twisting his jeans to shreds just so Steve will look at him.
Steve comes over to smoke once, sitting next to Eddie on the couch. They’re close enough that when Eddie reaches down for his knee, his knuckles brush Steve’s leg. Close enough that Eddie feels Steve’s breath catch when the threadbare denim snaps, revealing more skin underneath.
Eddie wonders if Steve wants to slide his fingers inside too. He wouldn’t mind. The quiet thought strikes into a burning desire when he realizes he wants Steve to touch him. It flusters him to an insane degree when he dares to think Steve might want that too.
An awkward laugh rushes, finding Steve’s heavy gaze on him when he looks over. “Stare any harder and I’ll start thinking you wanna rip my clothes off, Harrington.”
He goes blank when Steve replies quickly, like it’s something he’s been holding back saying for a while.
“If you keep doing that, I might.”
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saerins · 1 year
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─── 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄
+ sae x f!reader | wc 5.3k
notes: i’m in love with this man, and wrote this on a whim :’) hope y’all like it !! feedback & reblogs are greatly appreciated !! <3
summary: you’ve known sae since you were both sixteen. he’s always dreamed of going overseas and facing the world, will he ever be ready to come home?
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𝐒𝐈𝐗𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍
sae can read almost everyone flawlessly, you included.
he’s not close to you, not at all. physically? yes, because you’re his seat partner. but in all other aspects? no, definitely not.
you’re scared of him, he can tell. whenever he moves, you get self-conscious, immediately pulling your own chair in, giving him way. then you check on him as he moves away, because you’re scared that somehow you’ve managed to offend him.
you never did. because to offend sae, you’d need to be someone who can even bother him in the first place.
sae doesn’t care about what you do though, he just happens to notice you. out of convenience, because he sees you every monday to friday and sits next to you for every class.
it’s the same routine thing every week—you sit next to each other, barely say a word all day and then before he knows it, it’s the end of school day.
it doesn’t even matter. you don’t matter.
nobody really does.
he peeks at you out of the corner of his eyes, your eyes peering down at your paper with the utmost concentration. he quickly looks away though, because the last thing he wants is to get caught and be labeled as a cheater on a history quiz. especially when he’s not cheating.
yeah, you really don’t matter.
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𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍
soccer, soccer, soccer.
that’s all sae can think of nowadays. just do whatever he can to improve his skills, everything else is up for debate.
you’re still his seatmate, still ever so distant. he gives you credit though, for greeting him every morning now even though you look terrified and nervous all the time.
“good morning.”
today is no exception. sae’s eyes flick up to you and then back down to his desk, and that’s all of the acknowledgement you get, as usual. it’s nothing personal, he just doesn’t want to get into small talk at all.
but he’ll give you points for trying, even if he doesn’t exactly know what’s going through your head right now. somehow, he can’t read you as well anymore.
that’s how you usually are now, the newer version of you. a little more upbeat, a little friendlier, less awkward but still as shy as he first pegged you to be.
well, now you’re just slightly more amusing. somehow, sae starts to find himself wondering how you’d react to different situations.
it’s almost the middle of the school year and you’d kept up with your usual greetings everyday. sae keeps up with his usual stoic demeanour on his part.
until today.
“good morning!” you’re extra chirpy today, he notices.
sae blinks at you once, twice, and you’re still smiling at him, and he’d like to know whether you’re still that same nervous mess inside, so he opens his mouth this time.
“morning, y/n.”
simple, easy, basic courtesy.
but somehow you’re looking at him as though he’s a fucking freak.
to be fair, that’s exactly what he expected. but it’s now been a whole minute and you’re still staring dumbly at him.
“what?”
you shake your head, laughing sheepishly as you take your seat beside him, “nothing, it’s just… you never bothered talking to me before.”
sae shrugs, because it’s not like he bothers now, per se. he’s just—what’s the word—bored? “i can shut up too if you prefer that.”
“no!”
you look so embarrassed by your quick outburst that sae almost snickers. that’s the most reaction you’ve nearly managed to get out of him yet.
“i mean,” you stutter, looking for the right words to say, and maybe sae is getting a little bit of an ego boost right now because he can tell you’re flustered. “you’re pretty terrifying most of the time so…”
he knows what you mean, but he acts like he doesn’t. “oh, so you like terrifying? okay, i can do that.”
the way your face instantly switches to a straight expression is fucking amusing, and for a split second his guard falls and you get to hear him snicker.
luckily, the bell rings right after and mr hayato is never late. sae never got to hear what you thought of that.
every single day after that passes by a little bit easier, your non-friendship inching a little closer together, sae might even consider you an acquaintance now.
he converses with you a lot more fluidly (as much as he allows himself to—he doesn’t like you being too comfortable, likes to keep you on your toes), and he finds himself teaching you things he notices you’re absolutely horrible at.
like logarithms, because no matter how much you try to wrap your head around it, you refuse to ask anyone for help. you’re a little stubborn, but sae can live with that, just has to speak to you in a way that doesn’t seem like you look like you need help.
“no, you’re forgetting that the log of e is always one, there, see?” sae sighs as he explains, because you’re quite muddle-headed. “it’ll be much easier once you get all the definitions in your head.”
“were you born a genius or something?” you ask innocently upon catching his test scores. a 94 out of 100, compared to your 63.
that day, neither of you notice the fact that other people are beginning to notice your growing friendship.
sae starts tutoring you whenever he can, because apparently you’re hopeless without his help. (he says this to your face. he’s always straight with you.) and then he finds himself noticing you in ways he never did before.
how you look absolutely angelic when the sun hits your face. he notices the way you puff out your cheeks when you’re thinking hard. even the perfume that wafts through the air. you smell good.
this is ridiculous.
“hun, do you want any—”
fuck. sae’s head whips around to see an older woman at your door, almost a carbon copy of you, eyes wide as her gaze falls onto him.
no, he’s not particularly nervous or feels like he should be, but something tells you if your mother is anything like you, she’d misunderstand. this is just a lot more trouble than it’s worth. you’re a lot more trouble than it’s worth. what’s he even getting out of tutoring you?
“oh hi there! and who might you be?”
he can see stars in her eyes, all hopeful and excited as she shifts her gaze between you and sae and back to you again.
“mom! he’s no one—” ouch, he’s tutoring you and you introduce him as no one? “a friend and he’s tutoring me for some math stuff so could you…?”
it’s like the gears are turning in your mother’s head when she eyes sae knowingly. god, he has to do some damage control. don’t want either of you expecting anything much out of him.
“i’m itoshi sae,” he introduces himself, shaking her hand. “i just make time to tutor some of my classmates to earn extra credit.”
not even close to true, but neither of you need to know that. he’d much rather spend his free time getting in some training or going to the gym but he decided maybe he could spend a few hours out of today to help your dumbass with numbers.
he’s an expert at sidestepping small talk and in no time at all, your mother’s out of the room. you still seem embarrassed, he can feel the heat emanating from your cheeks.
“concentrate,” sae sighs, and he wonders why he’s even doing this for you. he’d rather go home right now, he thinks, maybe kick the ball around with rin, or just lie down in bed because waking up at 4am to train every morning is taking its toll.
you mumble a hushed apology and rub the sleepiness from your eyes. the both of you had been at this for a couple of hours now, maybe looking at numbers too much is making you tired too.
sae acknowledges you’re a fast learner though, if you have a proper teacher. he’s not surprised that ms kina’s teachings are lost on you—she’s not that good at explaining concepts. sae is, though. he usually doesn’t bother sharing but hey, maybe now is just a glitch in the matrix, maybe now he’s just trying to do good samaritan things and help you out so you don’t fail the damn midterm test.
“okay then, see you,” he says, picking up his bag and slinging it around his shoulders, only to have you grab his wrist. “what?”
you look a little bashful once you realise what you did, and then you let go of him immediately. you look like you really want to say something, but you don’t, you just shake your head.
don’t do it, don’t do it, don’t do it.
sae’s putting his bag back down before he knows it, and he groans internally. “say it.”
“if-if you don’t mind, maybe we could schedule a tutoring session every week?” you’re so, so timid and so, so soft.
he blinks once, twice, realising what you actually mean to say. you don’t want the tutoring session, apart from logarithms you’re fine with pure numbers, but you want time. with him.
it boosts his ego a little, if he’s being honest.
“i’m too busy with my soccer trainings,” he tells you, nonchalant until he sees how quick your expression falls and then he has to hate himself for continuing, “i have some time on friday evenings though.”
like a puppy, you’re instantly chirpy again, saying how maybe he could tutor you after he’s done with whatever stuff, and how you’d get a head start and grab some seats at a cafe or something.
you’re both seventeen when your weekly tutoring sessions start. it’s beyond himself why he agreed. all he knows is that he doesn’t particularly like being the reason your expression goes sad.
first week in, you’re still too nervous, too jumpy.
the second week, you’re a little too full of nonsense, daring to laugh at him, or with him, depending.
by the fifth week, your bare arm is already brushing his and you’re not even flinching.
you’re both seventeen when sae realises that maybe he cares for you. in the way lovers do. in the way he gets you to walk on the safer side of the sidewalk. in the way he sends you home every friday. in the way he actually responds to your goodnight texts and wakes up waiting for your good morning.
in the way he listens when you tell him that your mother is actually sick, that you want to take care of her. that your dream is simple—to find your passion one day, and to be able to earn enough to let your mother live peacefully, to help her fight whatever she has to because you don’t want her to be alone.
in the way, for the first time in his life, he reaches out to you, putting his hand on top of yours as he lets you cry on his shoulder.
your birthday falls on a friday this year, and he tells you not to bring your books that day in class. you look at him with pure shock, but then quickly adjust yourself and bring up a grateful smile.
“yes, sir.”
that night he meets you up on the rooftop of your complex, in the middle of the carpark, and you’ve never looked any happier than you did when you saw him holding that petite round galaxy cake in his hands, the sparkler candles so pretty in the night.
“happy birthday.”
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𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍
the next school year starts and sae enters into it still close to you as ever. you haven’t met in just over a month, what with sae’s intense training camps and your family holiday. but the both of you still talk to each other daily, and he finds himself waiting for your response every night.
it’s like the both of you are in a relationship, but neither of you are saying anything about it. whatever this relationship-non-relationship is, sae thinks he likes it.
but it’s barely three months into the school year and sae has to break your heart.
“it’s the opportunity of a lifetime, i’m sure you understand right?” his coach rambles on, disgusting with how he’s talking with his mouth full and chips keep falling out of it.
sae nods, because he does. he’s almost sure he’ll go for it. it’s not everyday kids from japan get offered a spot to play for a european club.
“great! so let’s get your parents involved and get you to spain.”
“yeah, sure.”
it’s frustrating how he’s not more excited. it’s there, but it’s faint, because it’s lingering on the traces of his feelings for you. he’s never really thought this far, and maybe that was his fault. he’ll keep that in mind; he can’t risk this situation again. he can’t risk getting your hopes up and being the reason that they’ll never recover.
minimise damage, yeah, that’s what he has to do.
you go from talking endlessly in class to being quiet because sae is trying to concentrate. you go from meeting every friday outside of school to every other friday, to once every month, to none at all. you go from texting a good morning and a goodnight every day to barely getting responses from sae, barely ever even get your messages read.
then one day sae just doesn’t show up to school at all. and you finally hear that he’s been scouted for a club in spain, that he’s going to be away for god knows how long. and then you realise that maybe that’s why he’s been distant lately, because you refuse to believe that the sae who took so much time out of his busy schedule for you, the sae who made the effort to buy you a birthday cake and spend all night on the carpark just listening to you talk on and on about insignificant things because you were nervous, the sae who you fell in love with—you refuse to believe it wasn’t real.
that’s why you hold your hopes up and ride your bicycle to his house, which you’ve been to once before, just outside though, because you’d asked him where he lived and he finally obliged. it’s still beautiful as ever, neat garden lined with flowers and a soccer field in the back.
when you knock on the gate, you see a familiar face come out; it’s itoshi rin, his younger brother. you only know that because sae’s spoken about him a few times, and you saw a picture of the both of them together on his phone.
“oh, um, hi, who are you?” rin asks, cautiously, because evidently, he’s never seen you.
“uh, i’m one of sae’s… classmates,” you decide, and it stings that you realise you can’t even say that anymore. how did it all spiral from cloud nine? “is he home?”
rin blinks a few times. his lower lashes are slightly longer than sae’s, he’s carrying a soccer ball, and you just know he’s been training all day because he’s sweating from head to toe. sae has said rin wanted to be a striker just like him.
“oh, didn’t you hear? my big bro got scouted, he left for spain last night.”
it shouldn’t be this upsetting—he isn’t even your boyfriend. no matter how much you wanted him to be. he was just… someone you studied with, spent time with, made efforts for.
but something forms in the pit of your stomach when you hear that sae’s already gone, that he’s already halfway to spain without even saying goodbye, without giving you any warning.
you’d thought whatever friendship you had with him was worth more than a silent goodbye, than a one-sided decision.
“o-oh, okay, thanks!”
you bolt off before rin can say anything else, it’s better that no one can see you crying anyway.
that night once you’ve sort of calmed down, you open up sae’s message thread, which as of late is mostly a string of messages from you and sae only replying with oh or i see or i’m busy.
the last time he even bothered replying to you was last week when you asked if he wanted to watch a movie together and he said a simple no.
“you’re an ass, itoshi sae,” you cry to yourself as you bring up the keyboard on your phone, your tears falling onto the screen.
i hate you, itoshi sae.
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𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍
soccer is the same; thrilling, tiring, demanding.
it’s been a year since he left japan and he’s still surviving, still thriving, still being revered as a genius midfielder. sae knows he has what it takes to bring victory to a good enough team, that’s what he came here for anyway—to be the best in the world.
“good job out there, sae,” the captain claps him on the back, but sae’s mind isn’t there.
it’s been a year since he left japan and he still pulls up the last message you ever sent him.
i hate you, itoshi sae.
perhaps it’s good that you do. there’s no place for your dreams in spain, or anywhere else in the world except for japan. you need to move on from him. maybe you already did, from what he hears from his classmates who still check in on him from time to time.
the first time sae hears about how some other guy asked you out, he can’t say he doesn’t care. but he’s relinquished his right to be jealous, so he barely responds to the news.
but maybe he’s beginning to see where he fucked up, because he shouldn’t have gotten close to you in the first place, should’ve just left you alone.
instead now he’s left with this sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. is this how it feels like to really miss someone?
𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘
you’re now in college and you’re past whatever happened in high school. itoshi sae still lingers in the crevices of your mind, with his teal eyes and his pretty lashes and the way his hand felt when they were on top of yours.
some part of you thinks you’d never get over him, but you have to make peace with that. just because he never bothered to give you closure doesn’t mean he should be allowed to ruin your life.
besides, you’re pretty sure he read what you last sent him. there’s really nothing else for you to do if he doesn’t even bother talking to you.
you’d been trying to properly move on anyway, and that’s exactly what you try to do later that night, after accepting ryusei shido’s invitation to dinner.
he’s like the opposite of sae, though. he’s all expressive and goofy and wild because he’s got you trespassing on private property just to borrow their garden and he likes to drive fast, really fast, because he loves the wind in his hair.
if you had met him first, you’d probably be in love with the rush he gives you, the adrenaline pumping through your veins. when he kissed you, if only you didn’t have itoshi sae in your head, then maybe you’d have kissed him back.
when you’re twenty, you find out that maybe you can’t move on without giving itoshi sae a piece of your mind.
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𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘-𝐎𝐍𝐄
sae’s career has been rapidly progressing, he’s part of the starting team and is hailed as one of the world’s up-and-coming top soccer stars.
the earlier game cemented it.
his team won, with the commentators naming him as the most valuable player, assisting in all the goals scored by his team.
when he’s pulled aside for an interview, he can’t help but wonder whether you’d be watching through the television, hanging on his every word. or maybe you’d already moved on with this shido guy he hears about.
fuck that shido guy.
and when an interviewer asks whether there’s anyone special in his life that motivates him, he finds himself wishing he could say your name.
“nothing of that sort.”
interviews pass by quickly, as they always do for him because he’s not much of an interview guy, with his stoic expressions and lacklustre responses. he’s on the way back to the locker room when he hears a familiar voice calling out to him.
“sae!”
he spins around to find his mother and father there, surprising him. they must’ve heard he was playing and booked a flight out. rin’s not here though.
“rin’s busy with some soccer matches of his own back at home,” his father explains, as if he read his mind. “he couldn’t make it, but he’s surely watching the match from home.”
how silly of sae to have wished that it was you calling out to him, for that split second. you’re still in his head, and that’s annoying.
“oh! sweetheart,” his mother coos after she’s done gushing over his game, “we ran into one of your friends earlier! what’s her name—ah wait there she is!”
sae furrows his brows, following his mother’s gaze and finds you there, hugging the walls, sheepishly waving your hand at him. he’s starting to doubt his vision, maybe you’re just his imagination, maybe his mother’s looking at someone else.
“hey, sae,” you greet him, mellow and polite.
he’s still standing there like he’s the one who’s starstruck, like you’re the famous one. are you really here?
“what are you doing here?”
not the best greeting, but that’s the most he can muster when he hasn’t seen or heard from you in over three years.
you smile, and he thinks he might melt, but he doesn’t because he’s just told—lied to—the world that there’s no one special to him.
“what’s wrong with supporting one of my friends?” you say, as though this is a neighbourhood soccer match and you didn’t have to fly halfway across the world for it.
“itoshi! get in here!” by the sound of his voice, it’s the captain talking. sae doesn’t even want to take his eyes off of you, but he has to.
“go,” you tell him, “i’m staying near the airport, if, uh, you wanted to do anything afterwards.”
does he?
sae swallows the lump in his throat and nods. “yeah, okay.”
that night, he figures out which hotel you’re staying at and pays you a visit—it annoys him how fast his heart is beating and how your sudden presence threatens to mess up his life.
he knocks on your door, and you open it, beaming at him when you see him. “i thought we were meeting at the restaurant,” you say as you let him in, closing the door behind him.
“i was just passing by, sent my parents to the airport and thought i would just drop by,” he answers, lying through his teeth. his parents are still somewhere in spain and he just wanted to see you sooner, that’s all.
“well, i’m still getting ready,” you tell him, straightening your dress and looking at yourself in the mirror.
how is it possible you keep getting prettier everyday? your hair’s a little longer now, and you look more mature, you’ve learned to do makeup, and your dress hugs your body in just the right places. he’s cursing himself for staring at you.
“i thought you’d be too busy to come out with me tonight, honestly,” you confess, putting on some lipstick.
sae has to look away, “and i thought you hated me.”
that has you stopping in your tracks; this conversation happened earlier than you expected, but you’d been gunning for this all the same.
“yeah, well you left japan without saying a word to me, like i was just anyone else.”
he understands why you’d think that. that was what he was going for anyway, and it reminds him what he should be doing instead of entertaining you right now. sae should be rejecting you, you and your efforts, should turn away from you like you’re another one of his fangirls.
“why?”
but the shakiness in your voice takes him off guard.
“why what?”
“why didn’t you say anything?”
“i didn’t have to,” sae responds, simply, like he doesn’t owe you a damn thing.
“was i imagining it?” you ask, finally turning around and looking him in his eyes.
no, no you weren’t.
“i don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“then why are you here, sae?” you burst out, and he stills in his position, feet glued to the floor. “you wouldn’t give a second thought to people you don’t care about, so what now?”
“i was just taking an old friend out to dinner, that’s all.”
he’s stubborn, so so stubborn. he’s hoping he’ll hold out.
“i don’t get you,” you mutter softly, to yourself or to him, he doesn’t even fucking know.
sae really shouldn’t, but he thinks about how he might never see you again and tries, “what do you want?”
“what are you talking about?”
“do you know what you want?” sae turns it around on you. “you flew halfway across the world to get here, for what? for me?”
he’s intimidating when he speaks a little louder than usual, and you shrink back just slightly.
“i-i wanted to talk to you,” you try your hardest to form an excuse but it’s not working.
“and what did you want out of that?”
you fall flat, and you feel like giving up. you know the answer, but you don’t want to admit it. you don’t want to tell him that you wanted him to want you too, you don’t want to admit that you’ve been thinking about him nearly all the time and what could’ve been.
“just forget it,” you relent, averting your gaze, but the next moment you feel an unfamiliar sensation on your lips, the taste of his on yours.
sae doesn’t know why he’s doing it, but his body moves on its own; something he got from playing that manages to bleed into his daily life, apparently.
you taste so much better than he expected, and you feel like you belong in his arms, like you’re made for him because there’s absolutely no one else in the whole fucking world who could ever bring itoshi sae to his knees.
he’s been in denial all this time, yes, and he’s tired of it. if you came all the way here, he’s not wasting it. he pulls away from you, absolutely dazed by the wanting look in your eyes.
you’re twenty one years old when you first hear itoshi sae telling you he loves you.
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𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘-𝐓𝐖𝐎
“someone’s chirpy,” your mother says from the couch, looking up from her ipad. “i sense… a date with sae.”
you roll your eyes, throwing one of the cushions at her. “mom, shut up,” you groan, still embarrassed whenever she calls you out for it.
sae’s still in spain most of the time, but the both of you make it work. you make a point to video call at least twice a week, and he responds to you like a normal boyfriend does. it’s back to that good morning, goodnight love you shared back in high school. he makes as much time as he can, and you appreciate him for it.
“i’m glad you’re happy, sweetie,” she tells you, and you smile gratefully.
you’re more than relieved now that she’s managed to fight the cancer off. it’s the only reason she pushed you to go see sae last year. you technically wouldn’t have done it without her.
a knock on your door signals that he’s here, and your mom gives you a knowing look before she excuses herself to her room.
when you open the front door, you feel a burst of excitement when you see sae there holding a bouquet of flowers.
“happy birthday, pretty.”
even when he’s busy, even when he’s swamped, he’ll never stop making you feel like you’re on top of the world.
both of you are twenty-two when sae decides that you’re his world.
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𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘-𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄
this is the year you find out long distance is actually really really hard.
sometimes sae loses the match, and sometimes he can’t separate friend from foe from you. he gets frustrated, and so you do too. he has less than kind words when he’s venting, and you happen to be on the receiving end.
sometimes you get stressed from your finals projects, and you push him away, and sae leaves you to it. sae doesn’t check up on you as much as you’d like to, and you’re a little too stubborn to tell him that you mind.
sometimes sae would get interviewed and would have to address dating rumours, whether it’s the upcoming supermodel from america or that renowned sexy sports photographer from brazil—it’s hard not to get jealous, especially when you’re kept private.
you can’t blame him for that, not when everyone likes to send hate to the pretty girl he’s supposedly dating.
this is also where you find out that itoshi sae knows you better than anyone. it’s where he always leaves you a reminder he loves you, even when you’re fighting. it’s where he sends you a goodnight text even when you’ve hung up the phone hours ago in anger. it’s where he keeps japan in his weather app just so he can tell you not to be a klutz and fall down when it’s raining. it’s where he declares on international television that no, he’s not available but that’s none of their business.
even if you yearn for him to be next to you at times, sae’s off doing what he’s always wanted to do, and you’re not going to let yourself be a burden—so you do what you want to do, because the last thing you want the headlines to blast is the fact that itoshi sae’s girlfriend is a good-for-nothing.
twenty-three is the age where you start writing articles for a local magazine company, where you take lead on fashion articles while occasionally helping with the sports section.
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𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘-𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑
both of your careers are in full flight.
so is your relationship.
sae’s always proud of you, of your achievements, of your efforts even if they didn’t bear fruit. you’re doing so well, making yourself a name in Japan with your articles, with your wonderful insights and funny wit.
he always reads your articles, tells his assistant to get a subscription on the magazine and send it to sae’s hotel, always reads the articles you write. he doesn’t tell you about that though. doesn’t want you getting a big head.
and every time you talk on the phone about your articles and how hard it was to write or how you’re afraid people will take it the wrong way, he acts like he doesn’t even know which article you’re talking about. (he absolutely does.)
“hey, when’s my contract ending again?”
sae’s assistant looks up from his ipad from his seat across him on the private jet. he blinks twice before rifling through his different folders.
“oh, next year.”
a ghost of a smile appears on sae’s face and his assistant thinks he’s hallucinating.
“good.”
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𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘-𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄
sae is twenty-five years old when he finally decides he’s ready to come home.
it makes the headlines—how he quit the club and refused to play for them anymore, the reason being that he wants to go back to his roots.
back to you.
because now, at your front door, after he knocks once, twice, and you open it, surprised, sae’s never been more sure that he’s making the right decision.
after all, you’re the only one in the world capable of bringing itoshi sae to his knee.
“will you marry me?”
5K notes · View notes
samkerrworshipper · 3 months
Text
Initiation | Barca Femení x reader
part 1
warnings: insinuations of smut, sexual references, don’t read if you aren’t open to non monogamous relationships lol
you are responsible for your own digital consumption this is not made for anybody below the age of 18!
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When it all had been proposed to you, you’d been shocked.
It was no secret amongst the soccer world that certain clubs had certain initiation customs, it was also no secret that inside a lot of clubs, especially the European ones, there was a lot of sexual fluidity across teammates. You weren’t oblivious, you’d heard the many stories from your national teammates, but when you’d signed with Barca and had two of your teammates approach you to talk about the Barca initiation you’d been shocked.
You were having coffee with Keira and Lucy, the afternoon after you’d signed and finished up all the media that had been required of you for Barca to put up on their social media and website.
You were sipping on your iced latte, whilst trying to finish off the pastry that Lucy had bought you, when they’d popped the question.
“Has anybody talked to you about Barca initiation?”
It was Keira who had piped up, her voice anxious from the other side of the table.
This was your first senior professional team that you were a proper member of, being only 22 you’d played the majority of your junior career with Manchester United, and your senior career had been a lot of bouncing between different teams. You’d never signed a contract that had you dedicated to a club for multiple seasons, so Barca was a big change for you.
“Lucy said that she had to sing a song or something.”
You hadn’t really thought about it much, you’d gone through the singing thing at your English call-up when you were 17.
“Right, but there is a little bit more to it than that.”
You looked up from your croissant, one of your eyebrows raised in questioning at your two older mentors.
“Are you going to tell me what you are talking about or continue to look at me like I’m about to explode?”
Lucy laughs, the anxiety on Keira’s face only becomes more prevalent.
“Okay, so a lot of the professional teams have different rituals that happen at the start of every season, initiation nights.”
You nod along, this isn’t new information to you, but the squint in Keira’s eyes at your obliviousness is enough to tell you that you aren’t catching on to whatever she is saying.
“Keira, can you get to the point?”
You're getting sick of Keira beating around the bush like you are a 10 year old.
“Barca has a night every year, a special night, it’s very important to some of the girls, no phones, no technology, it’s a very personal night, where some things that could be deemed unprofessional occur.”
You are still so lost, and you are certain that it’s being portrayed in your facial expression, is she talking about alcohol? Dancing? Pranks? Hazing?
“Keira, just tell me.”
Your statement is a plea, a plea for Keira to end this whole awkward encounter and just get to the point.
Lucy laughs heartily at the terrified look on Keira’s face, when she realises that Keira is stuck at what to say she takes over the conversation, both of her hands thudding down on the table.
“At the start of every season, we all get together, we have fun, no rules. This is different to your substandard initiation, this night is about connecting, on a different level with your teammates, on a sexual level.”
Your jaw slackens almost immediately, your eyes blinking aimlessly as you take in the last piece of Lucy’s statement.
“Now, that’s not to say that you have to do anything, if you want we can forget I just said that and you don’t have to be apart of that part of the night, it’s completely optional, a lot of the girls chose not to participate, but we just wanted to let you know that it is a option.”
An option.
It’s such odd wording, like it’s just an everyday decision.
“Sorry, I just need a few seconds to process.”
You take your time, taking a deep gulp of your coffee and a big bite of your croissant before you look back up at your teammates.
“Can I have a bit more of an explanation? I just want to understand this a little bit better.”
Lucy nods her head eagerly, a big smirk covering her face.
It’s such a taboo conversation to have at a fucking cafe, over breakfast, but neither of the other women seem very bothered by it.
“It’s a free for all, a survey is given out every year beforehand, things you are and aren’t open to engaging in. It’s separate to the other initiation, that happens during pre-season. This is different, It’s all very consensual, and if you choose to participate then you're limited on alcohol consumption, for safety reasons. It’s a lot of fun, a lot of pleasure and exploring. Alexia's been organising it for a few years now, so it’s a very secure process. It’s kind of seen as a final hoorah before pre-season and training starts. Normally they book out a suite at a hotel somewhere, but some years it’s been done at teammates' houses or airbnbs.”
You nod your head, it’s a very interesting concept, one that you are completely shocked by. Sure, you’ve heard about sexual innuendo amongst groups of players in clubs, but this is a completely different level. It’s uncharted territory for you, you definitely aren’t any form of prude or innocent type. You enjoy sex, you’re experienced enough to know that you are good at it. But you’ve never experienced anything near what this is.
“You’ve both been a part of it?”
Lucy nods definitively and Keira nods almost ashamedly.
“You’re okay with your partner being with other people?”
It might be an over step, but you figure this whole conversation is an over step.
“It’s not like that. I speak for both myself and Keira when I say that we both like to see each other having fun, that’s what this is. It’s a night of fun, and it’s with people that we both trust and spend every day with, there isn’t any worries about jealousy. There are a lot of the girls on the team that are in relationships, Ingrid and Mapi are together and they participate, Jenni and Alexia, Caro and Marta, there are also people in relationships outside of the team, it’s all consensual amongst both partners.”
You nod your head, it’s not like it matters to you, your not in a relationship, but it does make you feel a little bit better about the whole interaction.
“Sorry-I’m asking a lot of questions.”
Lucy just smiles and shakes her head.
“Don’t worry about it, I had plenty of questions to ask and I didn’t have a national teammate to ask about it. Ask away, it’s better to ask now then wonder later.”
You nod your head, you are still so shocked by this whole encounter.
“I-What happens at this night?”
It’s a broad question, and you almost palm yourself in the head for asking it.
“I seriously don’t need to give you the birds and bees talk do I?”
Lucy is jesting you, so you roll your eyes, pivoting to Keira with a genuine look of curiosity.
“It differs each year, depending on what people want to do. Toys, kinks, bondage, anything really. If you want to do something, someone is probably likely to want to oblige you. For example, last year, Luce put down that she liked to watch me service other people, and I got the opportunity to do that.”
Keira is stuttering over her words, it’s kind of cute, especially when you catch the glance that Lucy throws at her.
“This is the only time it happens every year.”
Keira cocks her head, looking at Lucy for some kind of permission before shaking her head.
“Not quite, there are agreements between some of the girls, on trips and things often happen but that’s more private, this is common knowledge amongst the team. Although, if you enjoy yourself there is a more than likely chance that more opportunities will come up, if you catch my drift.”
Keira is like your older sister, so sitting down and talking to her about sex has never been something that has ever crossed your mind remotely, but you are kind of glad that it is Kei that you are talking to. Because Keira doesn’t joke around the same as the others do, she wouldn’t make fun of you about something like this, nor would Lucy consider she’s Keira’s codependent.
“So, correct me if I’m wrong, and I'm going to be blunt about this. Every year, before the season starts, the Barca women have a massive sex free for all that’s disguised as an initiation party.”
Keira hesitantly nods, but not before she can correct you a little bit.
“It’s not disguised as an initiation party, there will be other new signings there, Ona, who you would know from United, and a few other girls. I can promise you that the newbies get the most attention, if that’s something you want, of course, there is absolutely no pressure for you to participate, this is about you doing as little or as much as you’d like.”
You take a few minutes of silence, whilst you toss up all of the words that have been spoken in the conversation between you and the couple.
It’s a lot to think about, and the thought is massively daunting.
Especially considering that you are going to be walking into a room full of women that you’ve hardly talked to. You’ve met Alexia, she dropped in to meet you when you were going through the process of your signing, but it had been a fairly rushed interaction and you’d been too busy being in awe of her to even think about anything besides the fact that in a few months time you’d be playing on the field beside her.
“If I said I wanted to?”
Lucy broke out into a fit of giggles, a big smile breaking out across her face.
“I’ll text la capitana, she’ll text you any details, you’ll probably get a visit or a phone call confirming your interest.”
You were still a little bit shocked, this whole conversation felt like it had been a dream, so much so that you’d had to reach down to your thigh and pinch it to confirm that this was in fact your life.
“That’s it?”
Lucy smirked and nodded, reaching over to pat you on the shoulder.
“You aren’t signing yourself off to the devil, Ale will be in contact, if you have any questions you’ll see Kei and I everyday leading up to it, and if you want to pull out at any stage that’s completely fine, no hard feelings, no judgement.”
You nodded your head, unable to do much more than that.
“It’s as easy as that?”
Lucy nods her head.
“Easy as that.”
It’s two days later, when you are properly acquainted with your captain.
You are sitting at your kitchen counter, finalising some university work that you are trying to get ahead of when you are rudely interrupted by the sound of a light knocking at your door.
You close your laptop, and turn down the volume of the playlist you have playing across your speakers, before you jog to the door of your apartment.
The last thing you expect to be faced with, is the face of your newest captain.
“Hola, Capitana.”
You don’t really know what else to say, you’ve had zero warning about this sudden visit, and whilst you are honoured, it’s also a little bit daunting having one of the best players the game has standing right in front of you.
“Lo siento, puedo pasar?” Sorry, may I come in?
You are nowhere near fluent in Spanish, Lucy had been giving you crash courses over the past few months once she’d found out about your signing, you had managed to get a cusp of basic conversational talk, the club had told you that once season commenced you’d be assigned a spanish teacher and a translator, so you hadn’t been super worried about it.
“Please, make yourself comfortable, would you like something to drink? I’ve got water, juice, coffee, tea?”
You list off everything that you can think of, as you open the door fully to Alexia.
“Just water should be fine.”
You are slightly shocked by the Spaniards' flawless pronunciation over her English, and also extremely relieved that you aren’t going to be forced to try and understand Spanish, because it certainly isn’t a skill you’ve even begun to master.
Alexia takes a spot sitting at your island bench, directly beside your uni work that had been the previous centre of your attention, which is now being completely occupied by your Catalan company.
“Here you go.”
You pass the glass over to Alexia, electing to stay positioned on the opposite side of the counter, instead of sitting down beside her. It feels less confrontational, more conversational and less one on one.
“Gracias, I’m sorry for dropping in without any warning, I was in the area and I figured it was best to discuss this all with you in person, I won’t be here long, I don’t want to disturb anything.”
You smiled at Alexia, shaking your head at her.
“It’s no trouble at all, I was just getting ahead of some course work, what can I do for you, Capitana?”
Alexia gives you a wry smile, reaching for her handbag which she’d set down on the floor.
“Please call me Alexia or Ale, none of the formality is necessary.”
You nod at her, Ale, it sounds nice coming off of your tongue, it makes you feel a little bit less terrified of the woman.
“Okay Ale, what can I do for you?”
Alexia smiles at you, a genuine smile that somehow warms your soul, it’s like magic, and you give yourself a mental note to ask Lucy about the effect later on.
“I’m just here to talk to you about our initiation night on Friday, Lucia tells me that you are keen to join in, si?”
You nod your head cautiously, it’s impossible to miss the little dimple in Alexia’s cheek as she licks her lips and smirks at you.
“Perfecta, I can assure you that you will have a lot of fun. Has Lucia talked to you about it, or would you like me to give you a bit of a debrief?”
Technically, Lucy has given you the debrief, but you are curious to learn more and see if Alexia has anything else to add.
“Lucy talked about it, but it was pretty brief and non-specific.”
Alexia nods, and gently pushes a sheet of paper across the table to you, one look at the words across the sheet had your eyes nearly bulging out of your eye sockets.
“On the left, you’ll see a list of girls' names, those are the girls from the team that are choosing to participate. Some just come to watch, others come to please, others come for pleasure. Everything that happens on the night is exclusive to the team, and if talked about outside of the team there are consequences. On the right you’ll see a list of common things that occur. I'll send out a survey to you later, the majority of those things will be on the list, you do not have to engage in anything that makes you uncomfortable, there is absolutely no pressure for you to do anything. Please understand that.”
You nod dutifully at Alexia, your eyes scanning the page and taking in the amount of names as well as different sexual acts and activities.
“We’ve rented out a house, it’s on private land, nice and spacious, lots of privacy. I’m sure Keira and Lucia will take you along with them, you can be as included as you wish, we take care of newbies, anything you want you’ll get, just don’t be shy to ask for it, okay?”
You nod sheepishly at Alexia. This conversation would make you uncomfortable normally, but talking about it with ‘La Reina’ like the two of you are discussing the weather is perplexing.
“Don’t stress about it, cariño, you’ll be well looked after, you are well sought after amongst the group, I’m sure that you’ll be very popular if you desire so. If not, I’m always happy to look after our newest additions.”
Alexia sends you a sardonic smile, sweet and sultry, full of teeth and a chunk of her plump pink lip caught in her teeth.
You think that Alexia can sense that you are stuck on what to say to her, a little bit star struck and still trying to process the words that have just left her mouth.
“Well, unless you have any other questions I'll see myself out, I’ll see you in a couple of days, adios.”
Alexia is up and out of your kitchen in a matter of seconds, barrelling towards the door, your body following hers and managing to speak out just as her hand connects with the brass of your door knob.
“Alexia, thank you for coming around, I really appreciate it, just one last question if you have a second?”
Alexia pivots on her heel, turning around to face you fully.
“Ask away.”
You nod your head, working up the confidence inside of you to ask the question.
“What should I expect?”
You are well aware that it’s a broad question, and you don’t know what kind of answer you are going to receive, but there is a part of your gut that’s just begging for more information, for something.
“You really want a spoiler?”
You nod your head definitively, you aren’t a person who enjoys surprises, you like to know what to expect, what’s happening. You’ve been this way since you were a child, and it’s followed you up until now.
“It’s an atmospheric experience, the feeling, the endorphins. There is nothing that matches being in a room full of people full of desire, nothing like being in a room full of women reaching levels of pleasure they never even imagined. I don’t know what else to say, it’s an out of body experience, there is a reason why it is so sacred amongst our team, as a newbie it’s daunting, I know it’s hard to believe but I was once in your position as well, and the best chunk of advice I can give you is to just let go, let yourself live in the moment whilst you are there, nobody is going to judge you, take a leap of faith, okay? I’ll see you in a couple of days, text me if you have any more questions or if you think I’ve left anything out, even if you just want to chat I’m here, take a read from the list I gave you, it should provide some insight.”
Alexia’s words resonate with you for days to come, the way she talked about the whole situation like it was gospel, her words making it seem like a holy sacrament. You study the sheet she’s given you as if it is the holy bible and you are trying to learn your scriptures.
14 women.
15 including yourself.
That’s a lot of people, and yet as you read over the names it seems nowhere near as magnitudinal as it sounds.
The list of kinks and situations is a source of a lot of your late night self explorations.
You’ve experimented with a lot of things over the years, but some of the things on the list have you weak at the knees just reading them. When your receive the email from Alexia it takes you a whole day to work up the courage to open up the attachments. The first one, as previously discussed is a survey. It has all of the things from the sheet Alexia gave you, plus a surplus of other things, and then some more questions to be personally filled in. It’s near impossible to work through it, it takes far longer than you think it should, but by the end of it you are left with a warm feeling in the bottom of your stomach, anticipation, shock at what you are looking at.
There are four boxes for each topic, yes, no, maybe. And below every maybe box there is a little text box which reads ‘please specify’.
It’s well organised, and you have a feeling that Alexia will have put a lot of time into it, from the very short amount of time that you’ve grown to know her you’re under the impression that she takes her role of captain very seriously.
Fingering? yes. Vaginal pentration? yes. Spanking? yes. Bondage? maybe - no ropes or handcuffs. Oral receiving? yes. Oral giving? yes. Use of toys? yes. Double penetration? yes. Anal? maybe - only experimented but open to trying. Sensory deprivation? maybe - no gags. Humiliation? no. Sex with multiple people? yes. Orgasm denial/control? yes. Sex with a couple? yes. Praise? yes. Degradation? yes. Choking/breath play? no. Dominant? no. Switch? maybe - most likely not. Submissive? yes.
The list goes on, it covers every single thing you’ve ever done and then more, it makes you quiver in the depths of your core, just with anticipation.
Once you’ve finished the yes no part of the survey and answered the questions down the bottom you move onto the other attachment, which from a quick skim over outlines the rules, expectations and details of the night.
The main things that cathc your eyes are the sentences relating to safe words and consent. It seems important so you pay extra attention to it. It talks about the traffic light system, that once you consent to the night it is your responsibility to use your words, there will be regular check ins but unless you use your safe word there is no expectation for anything to stop.
Some other topics that catch your eyes are details about time, place, clothes, etcetera.
The majority of it is just information that Lucy and Keira had already outlined to you, the newbie run down.
Three days later, and you are slowly getting ready for your night to come.
Over the past 72 hours there has been one thing on your mind, tonight. You aren’t spared a minute from your thoughts and when Keira and Lucy walk through your front door, running an hour late you are buzzing. You are well aware of the fact that you look like a 8 year old who has just skulled a bottle of cola, every single extremity connected to your body shaking wildly.
You were lost on what to wear, and it had taken a long chat with Keira yesterday to convince you that apparently it was nowhere near as big of a deal as you were making it in your head.
You settled for a matching sweat combo, just because you figured it would be coming off anyway. It was paired with one of your nicest pairs of lingerie, a red set which was probably leaning towards a size too small. The set accentuated every single part of your body though, it hugged your curves, made your ass pop and your tits look delectable.
It felt almost criminal to cover it up with a tank top and nike tracksuit and sweater, but you also found comfort in the extra layer of clothing, it feels like a layer of armour.
You’ve been sitting in your apartment, contemplating everything for an hour and a half when Lucy and Kei finally show up.
They walk in without any warning, and it’s certainly a sight for sore eyes.
You aren’t sure when was the last time you’ve seen either of them glowing and looking so smiley, but it’s definitely a moment where you take a mental picture for the future.
They’re both dressed similarly to you, and for once you don’t find yourself guilty for being curious about what hides beneath the couple's clothing.
“Hola.”
Even your words are practically dripping with anxiety, your voice shaky and stuttery.
“Hola amor, you ready to go?”
Lucy looks especially delighted.
Her hair is down, something that you don’t see very often. She’s got a light layer of makeup on that compliments her facial figures without making it look like she’s over done it.
Keira looks similar, her hair is down and curled every so slightly, if you didn’t know her so well you probably wouldn’t have realised but the effort is noted inside your brain. She’s also got a very light layer of makeup on, both women look stunning, perfect together, the picture of love.
It makes you hopeful, hopeful that one day you’ll find somebody that looks at you the way Lucy does at Keira, and vice versa.
“Mhm.”
You don’t get up from the couch, all of a sudden you feel unable to move.
Keira recognises it fairly quickly, taking a seat down next to you, her hand falling on top of your knee and squeezing lightly.
“Everything alright, little one?”
Keira’s voice is so soft, it makes you feel safe, like you’re at home.
“Just nervous.”
As far as nerves go, you're fairly certain the euros final doesn’t even match this, it’s weird.
“You know that if you want to back out that’s completely fine, nobody is going to make fun of you.”
You shook your head, backing out was the last thing you wanted to do, but it didn’t make everything else less daunting.
“M’ fine, just need a sec.”
Keira’s hand slowly moves up from your knee, to your thigh, her grip becoming a little bit lighter.
“I can think of a way to calm some of those nerves.”
Keira’s voice is unusually confident, and it surprises you greatly when she reaches down to your chin and pulls it upwards so you’re looking at her.
It’s just then that you realise exactly how close the two of your faces are, so close that you can feel Keira’s breath on your face. It’s warm and it tickles against your skin in a way that you’ve never felt before. She’s smiling at you, but there is a deeper connection through her eyes, the way she's looking at you makes you feel like you are the only person in the world.
“Luce?”
You’re well aware of what this whole night ensues, but it doesn’t settle the slight niggle in your gut that you definitely do not want to be reading this situation wrong.
“Yes, honey?”
Keira’s eyes don’t waiver from your own, even as yours look across the room to look at Lucy, who is giving you a similar look to Keira, somewhat predatory in the best way possible. Her voice is practically dripping with confidence, doused in assertiveness.
You look between the both of them, realising that there is definitely no push back from either of them.
“Please tell me I’m not reading this wrong.”
Keira silences you by pressing her lips to your own, you freeze up for a few seconds, your mouth completely unmoving as you realise this really is happening, that for the last week you haven’t been walking around in some kind of weird dream that’s been created because of some weird delusion in your head.
After a few seconds, you relax into the kiss, moving your own lips against Keira’s and savouring the flavour of strawberry gum and coffee that is fresh on her lips. It tastes how Keira feels, warm and content and it calms down any of the previous nerves that were occupying your stomach, the shaking across your whole body as Keira’s hand on your jaw gently caresses the skin with the pads of her fingertips.
After a few more seconds of Keira sucking and biting at your lips she retracts herself, a big smile on her face as she continues to stare at you.
“Luce you need to try, she tastes divine.”
The compliment makes you blush more than you were already, the redness spreading down to your neck as you feel the couple's eyes on you.
“All in due time Kei, we don’t want to overwhelm her, now I think it’s about time we get a move on, hm?”
You nod subconsciously, your brain still floating on a different planet as you compartmentalise exactly what just happened. All you can think about is how Keira’s lips felt, addictively soft and supple, it’s a feeling that you are certain you won’t forget.
“God you’ve gone and broken her Kei, already?”
The feeling of Keira squeezing your knee once again manages to awaken you from your trance, your eyes darting between the couple cautiously.
“You ready to go, honey?”
Keira’s voice is as soft as her lips, you're so effortlessly enraptured by her that it makes you more than a little bit excited for whatever is to come.
You’ve never seen Keira look this carefree, this cheeky and it makes you feel so much more at peace then you had previously.
You allow Keira to guide you out of your own apartment, your brain still working at a snail's pace so before you even realise you are sitting in the backseat of Lucy’s very nice mercedes. Instead of sitting in the front beside Lucy, Keira has elected to sit in the backseat with you, her body pressed up against your own and her hand resting comfortably on the inside of your knee.
Your knee is bouncing up and down under Keira’s hand, and before you can say anything, her hand is moving up to your chin and rotating it to meet her lips.
This time the kiss is more motivated, more purposeful but sweet all the same.
You give Keira control, your lips practically melting into hers as her hand tangles into the back of your head, tugging at the tresses of hair at the nape of your neck.
It feels so good, so good that you part your lips to moan, instead your sounds are silenced though by Keira’s tongue.
Keira kisses with passion and fervour, it’s quite shocking based off of her personality and all the times you’ve seen her around Lucy, but it makes you giddy on the inside all the same.
“Keira, behave.”
The words come when Keira’s spare hand comes up to your covered breast, you don’t even really notice until you see Lucy looking directly at Keira in the rearview mirror and the look on her face is a mixture of displeasure and humour.
“You're just mad that I got her first.”
Keira’s hand doesn’t move, and it’s fairly clear that Lucy isn’t pleased about it.
“You keep talking like that to me and you won’t like how the night goes for you.”
Keira’s hand quickly moves down from your breast but she doesn’t remove it completely, instead moving it down to your lap again, but her kisses don’t stop, she litters little kisses all over your jaw and neck, all whilst you maintain the eye contact with Lucy in the rearview.
She’s smirking, her eyes don’t leave yours unless they go back to the road, and even when they don’t you keep your eyes on her.
Keira is only egged on by the little sounds and moans that leave your mouth as she finds different spots across your neck and face that make you melt even further into her.
“How does she feel honey? Is she getting you warmed up?”
Lucy’s words are directed towards you, it takes a few seconds for your brain to wrap it’s way around them but once you do you reply quickly.
“Feels good, m’ sorry.”
Lucy’s eyebrows furrow, and when the next red light comes she turns around completely to look at you.
“What do you have to be sorry for?”
Lucy voice is more questioning than accusatory.
“Sorry for getting Kei in trouble and kissing her without your permission.”
Lucy scoffs and Keira snorts from her spot on your neck.
“Oh honey, not your fault that Kei is choosing to be a bit bratty, these nights always get her quite over zealous, as far as kissing her you’ve got my full permission, you don’t need to ask.”
You nod cautiously, moaning as Keira begins to suck a mark right into the pulse point on your neck.
“Kei, behave yourself, you know what Ale said about not getting over excited.”
It’s the mention of Alexia’s name that has your ears perking up.
It seems to get Keira to back off a bit, her lips at least, her hand continues to rub gently at the inside of your knee and thigh and you slowly drive down a dark and windy road.
“Y’know you're all Kei’s been talking about all week, she’s been very excited for tonight.��
You look over at the older English woman, feeling a little bit confident when you notice that Keira is blushing wildly and avoiding your eye contact completely.
“Lucee.”
Keira is clearly embarrassed, which must mean that what Lucy is saying has come truth, which means that Keira has been thinking about you.
“All she’s been talking about, I can say the same about quite a lot of the girls, you are a popular topic.”
It makes you feel all giddy in your stomach with the acknowledgment from Lucy, she’s the last person that would lie to you, so it makes you feel especially good.
Keira groans and hides her head against the window.
“Really?”
Lucy scoffs once again at the shock in your voice.
“Trust me honey, pretty sure there will be girls queuing up for you, us oldies don’t get that kind of attention.”
Keira rolls her eyes, which is enough of an answer for you to realise that Lucy is trying to be humble.
It’s just as you’re about to say something that the car pulls into a driveway, which is already full of cars.
Alexia is right, it’s the only light that you’ve seen for miles, there is nobody for miles, which is a big comfort.
Lucy opens your door for you, helping you out and immediately beginning to assess your neck.
Once she’s certain that there are no marks she moves her vision up to your face, reaching down for a quick kiss.
It’s different to Keira, rougher, her lips more coarse.
It still feels equally as good.
Lucy releases fairly quickly, Keira’s already walking up the stairs to the house, an extra pep in her step as she makes it to the door.
Lucy and you are quick to follow her.
The door has a keypad on it, Keira quickly punches in a four digit code before the door pops open. The entry hallway is completely empty and silent, all three of you toe off your shoes and leave them and your socks by the door.
Lucy leads towards the door at the end of the entry way, you loiter behind, completely terrified of whatever is going to be behind it.
1K notes · View notes
phantombriide · 6 months
Text
GF!ELLIE HEADCANONS; e.w.
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content: mdni, loser gf!ellie, annoying gf!ellie, mentions of head/sex, mentions of making out, ellie's a clown and you're sick of it but love it so much, swearing and fluff. also this isn't proofread soooo
note: i like my girls silly so i can be mean and pretend i hate it. sorry for my inactivity as of late, i am now a busy girl but i had so much fun writing this <3 dont forget to like/reblog!! enjoyyyy
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⚢ gf!ellie who you've been friends with since junior year of high school. she was the class clown, always getting on the teacher's nerves and you were just as bad adding onto her jokes getting you both sent to detention for the afternoon
⚢ gf!ellie who noticed the lesbian pride pin attached to your book bag and instantly knew that you were gonna be hers sooner or later
⚢ gf!ellie who is still so obsessed with you four years later as you're half way through your sophomore year of college. she would've thought going to the same school AND rooming with her girlfriend was a terrible idea if she wasn't 100% sure you two were soulmates
⚢ gf!ellie who will fart and look at you in disgust as if you did it. you'll put the blame back on her and she'll only respond with something stupid like 'girls don't fart' as if you aren't both girls
⚢ gf!ellie who makes you get up in the middle of a conversation if she thinks your sitting on her vape and you get so fucking mad but she doesn't care
⚢ gf!ellie who is quite literally the most irritating person you've ever met but it's what made you fall in love with her in the first place
⚢ gf!ellie who sits on the counter while you clean instead of helping, opting to tell you the latest drama that she accidentally overheard
⚢ gf!ellie who fake bangs you and pretends to nut when you bend over
"ahhh fuckkk y/n im gonna nut." "ellie get the fuck off of me."
⚢ gf!ellie who tells you to shut the fuck up and immediately apologizes seconds later because she's actually terrified of you
⚢ gf!ellie who sends you stupid instagram posts while you're sitting right next to her as if you can't see her giggle and send it to you
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⚢ gf!ellie who is stupid smart but types exactly like this
'babw you wont beelieve what dinw just told me 😭'
babw*
BABE*
beleive*
beleive??
beleive
wtf'
⚢ gf!ellie who stuffs her face in your shirt and takes a nap in that exact position
⚢ gf!ellie who will be making out with you just to stop and lip sync drake lyrics because it's her favorite song
⚢ gf!ellie who once fell of the bed while giving you head because she was too awkward to reposition herself and just didn't wanna stop
⚢ gf!ellie who sports her hickeys around and tells everyone her gf beats her as you're standing directly next to her completely baffled and speechless
⚢ gf!ellie who is so in love with you that she thinks about getting your name tatted like a tramp stamp everyday she wakes up
⚢ gf!ellie who tea bags you whenever you bend down to tie your shoes bc she's that obnoxious
⚢ gf!ellie who farts and holds the blanket over your head until your coughing and begging her to stop as she manically laughs at your demise
⚢ gf!ellie who draws dicks and boobs on your face while sleeping just to stare at you as you wake up and compliment you while holding back her laughter
'god you're so beautiful'
meanwhile her:
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⚢ gf!ellie who will wake you up at 3am for a kiss because she had a dream about you and missed you like you're not sleeping directly on top of her
⚢ gf!ellie who wears stupid shirts like this and thinks it's straight fashion
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⚢ gf!ellie who will clown you like a mf but will get so defensive the moment anyone else tries to do it
⚢ gf!ellie who smacks your ass anytime you pass by and immediately turn around to not seem suspicious as if she's not the only one close enough to touch you
⚢ gf!ellie who's your best friend and you're just so lucky to have such a goof around 24/7 to keep you entertained
⚢ gf!ellie who has a ring hiding in her sex toys drawer because she knows she wants you as hers forever and ever
2K notes · View notes
sicklyseraphnsuch · 6 months
Text
Simon really doesn't question Betty, and you know, that's not a bad thing. Betty is a woman who knows her own mind. Simon's not about to mansplain Betty's desires to Betty.
And it really is quite clear that he follows her lead throughout their whole relationship.
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(Note: I wrote this at 3am so unsure how much sense this makes)
In this scene, when he compliments Betty for figuring out the petroglyphs (petrigrofs lol) on the vase, he laughs and makes a throwaway comment about Betty coming with him on the next trip. I do believe it's a throwaway because he just throws it out there.
But Betty snaps onto that opportunity like a fish catching bait. Or maybe a cat pouncing on a mouse. She didn't have to say that she's missing a whole other trip for his, but she does and also follows up with the conclusion that yes. She will go with him.
There's an awkward, "Oookay..." from Simon that belies a hesitancy. But Betty seems intent on taking the inch she was given and making it a mile. Who is Simon to question this grown woman's decisions?
This follows through with Betty making the move to take their relationship to the next level.
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Simon was complacent. That's the story of Simon's life. He was complacent and content to keep their relationship professional. Betty makes the leap. That's the story of their romance. Betty makes the leap and confesses to Simon.
And in his confession to her, Simon simply echoes her words right back.
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And why not? Why not say the thing that she explicitly wants from him? Why not follow the instructions? Why take a risk and say things differently than what has explicitly been laid out for him?
But that's also Simon's flaw in a nutshell. For a smart guy, he's absolute Shit at picking up what Betty puts down. Even when it's staring him straight in the face.
And Betty herself is terrified of being frank about her feelings for him. Look at the way she confesses to him. She leaves a letter in a book that he might check out soon (maybe in a week, maybe in a month, maybe in a year, who knows?). It was rather roundabout, wasn't it? "I drop my love letter in a book so maybe you will find it"?
To be fair, she is afraid of coming off as too strong. Her rambling about her trip before accepting Simon's offer lends to the idea of someone thinking through her thoughts out loud, but also emphasizing in a roundabout way how much she really Really likes him. Simon does not pick up her attraction to him.
He calls her "library girl" because she is a veritable stranger, why would he reciprocate her attraction right off the bat? Cautious, careful Simon yielding to love at first sight? It's not his style. But Betty does half the work of falling in love with him prior to meeting him. All Simon needs to do is notice.
Simon disappoints her on two occassions. He calls her "indispensable", despite the now clear chemistry between them. He didn't ask her out in the following two weeks, and in his words kept things "professional" despite her Very obvious infatuation with him and what she dearly wants from him. ("And I love you love you love you love you, is it obvious to everyone else?")
And then that SCENE.
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He's done it! He used her words! (Because clearly his first approach to lecture her didn't communicate his feelings - Simon, you donk)
And look at her face, she is so ready to be kissed! But Simon tucks her hair behind her ear and lets go. Betty leans in but... again, she stops herself from coming on too strong.
Because she takes the lead. She always takes the lead, and Simon is happy to follow her! But Betty is not a bastion of confidence. Again, we go back to my earlier point: Betty did half the hard work of falling in love with Simon before she met him.
This leads to two things - she can't be secure in the knowledge that Simon loves her as equally because she already loved him before they met and what if she's just imagining things because she's biased and wants her to love him? Likewise, she is intent on proving to Simon that she is lovable to him and he just follows along, without ever getting the chance to show how much he loves her.
He is complacent to be loved and to follow her lead on how to love. He doesn't act without her letter. He uses her words to confess.
Because Betty did half the work of falling for Simon when Simon wasn't around, how could he know the depth of her feelings? How can he be confident that she wouldn't leave the moment he mucks it up when he doesn't really know why she sticks around in the first place? Why wouldn't he beg for her to love him when he went crown crazy?
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Why wouldn't he spend the last few seconds of a precious spell to forgive her for leaving him because why wouldn't she leave?
Here's my theory, what Simon sees is not Betty's conviction in her love for him - Simon sees a woman who knows her mind and changes priorities with alacrity. She had a research trip that she's willing to dump in a second? Well, research trips are important but hey, maybe that means her priorities are not cemented. She could love this now and choose to love another thing later.
It's like two ships passing each other through the night. Betty and Simon are terrible at being confident and secure in their love for one another to the point that they drive themselves crazy over it. Betty has something to prove. Simon is waiting for her to leave.
Why wouldn't he question her lack of pursuits? Betty knows herself. She'll go when she pleases, wouldn't she? Why wouldn't she?
The end result: Betty keeps taking the lead and Simon keeps following her, but a partnership is supposed to be on equal footing. They're supposed to travel together. And because Simon lacks the initiative or the assertiveness to balance out the relarionship, Betty is left to run wild with her insecurities, which in turn prevents her from pursuing her passions as all her drive fixates on securing Simon.
"Where will I go without you?"
"I'll never know."
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leaderwonim · 12 days
Text
BUT WHY? WHY NOT.
pairing. ghostface!park sunghoon x fem!reader
summary. in a sudden turn of events, you ask with shaky tears why your boyfriend, park sunghoon, is doing what he’s doing. the answer he gives you is more terrifying than the whole situation itself.
warnings. kinda suggestive at some parts, vivid descriptions of killing, mentions of mental illness, hurt no comfort, cursing, one of the characters has a gun
tagging baes @saursoob @moons-v @wonniestars
recommended playlist. sometimes & race by alex g
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“You know I love you and I’d never do anything to harm you, right?”
Park Sunghoon always loved to say that to you, especially when you separated your mouth from his and you’d give him those eyes that told him you’d do anything for him.
You were just so easy. Easy prey to catch for big strong intimidating Park Sunghoon. Easy prey to feast upon.
He was a gentleman. Looking back at the past 7 months of your relationships, you never once remembered having to open a door handle by yourself. His hand was already there before you could even touch the metal knob.
“What boyfriend would I be if I let you open doors all by yourself?” He’d say with an eyebrow raise and a smirk.
Even though he was clearly teasing you, you felt giddy that you had such a great boyfriend like him.
You just wish you saw the signs sooner.
🫀
The first red flag was how twitchy Sunghoon would get at random times. Sure, it was normal for Sunghoon to be a bit shy—even awkward—but the sudden twitchiness didn’t go unnoticed by you. It was almost if he was uncomfortable in his own skin, desperate to get out.
But Park Sunghoon was perfect. He was the perfect boyfriend, the perfect son, and the perfect boy, there was nothing wrong with him, right?
Right.
“I don’t know,” Sana says as she shakes her head, clearly frightened by what’s happening. “I feel like someone is stalking us.”
Your friend group collectively starts comforting her, all besides your boyfriend who sat next to you with a frown.
“I’m sure it’s nothing,” you say, rubbing Sana’s hands comfortingly. “Right Hoonie?”
“Yeah.” If there’s another thing about your boyfriend, he’s good at reassuring people. “Maybe you’re overthinking Sana? It’s okay, you’re safe with us.”
“He’s right.” Hyoseop, one of your other friends, chimes in. “Besides San, you can’t let this scary moment dictate your life!“
Sana nods solemnly. “I guess. Are we still on that camping trip this weekend?”
“Hell yeah we are!” Your friend group cheers, which is more than enough to make Sana feel better about the whole situation.
🫀
“Sleeping tents?”
“Check.”
“Flashlights?”
“Check.”
“Batteries?”
“Check.”
“Tooth—”
“Baby.” Sunghoon wraps his arms around you from behind, putting his chin on your shoulder. “I promise we have everything, let’s go before we’re late and Eunae makes a big deal about it.”
You giggle, turning around to give him a proper hug. He smelt exactly like the vanilla scented candles you loved so much.
“You’re right, I don’t want Eunae on our asses in the middle of the woods.”
Sunghoon drives the both of you in his green shiny Jeep, the one his dad had bought him last month. The camp site was about 2 hours from your house, so you plugged your headphones in, leaning against the window as one of Sunghoon’s hands comes to hold your thigh.
“Wake up sleepyhead.” He says, flicking your forehead which makes you jolt from your sleep.
“Yah Hoonie! Don’t do that,” your cheeks puff out in annoyance, and your boyfriend can’t help but laugh, pinching it between his thumb and index finger.
“I texted Hyoseop, he says they’re already all here.” Sunghoon opens up the trunk, pulling out all your stuff with a grunt. “Jesus, it’s just 2 nights and we’re packing like we’re moving here or something.”
You roll your eyes, “we need to be as prepared as possible! I don’t even like camping, but Eunae insisted.”
“Well Eunae’s a bitch.”
You slap his arm, making the boy jump. “Hoon! You can’t say that out loud.”
“You’re thinking it too baby.” He swings his heavy duffle over one of his shoulders, his other arm holding the gigantic tent you guys had bought to share for the 2 nights.
“I don’t know why you couldn’t just put all your things in our big backpack.” You say, already feeling out of breath as you guys make your way to the site. “You don’t even have that much clothes anyway Hoonie.”
“Just wanted my own bag, that’s all.” He smiles. “Plus, the backpack is already extra heavy with all your stuff.”
You whine at his words, making him chuckle.
“Y/N! Sunghoon!” The voice of Inyoup, Hyoseop’s brother, echoes through the area. “You made it!”
“Course we did.” Sunghoon dabs up the boy, which leaves you to say hi to Eunae and Jihyun.
“Where’s Sana?” You ask, not seeing the familiar ginger anywhere in sight.
Jihyun pulls out her phone, checking Sana’s location. “She should be here by 7, said she’s running a little late because of boyfriend things.”
Jihyun sends the group a wiggle of the eyebrows, which stirs up laughter and a gross! from Inyoup.
“7 is gonna be so dark though, I’ll make sure to go fetch her.” Hyoseop says. “Now c’mon, let’s get a bonfire settled!”
🫀
Night time rolls around quicker than expected, the sky above already clearing out with the few stars being the only source of light in the surrounding campsite.
“Are you cold?” Sunghoon asks, pulling you closer to his side as all of you sit on the pieces of wood in front of the fire.
“I’m better now with you generating all this heat.” You joke, digging yourself closer into his side. “Actually, did you bring any extra coats Hoon?”
He doesn’t really hear your question, too engrossed in whatever horror story Jihyun’s telling the group.
“Yeah yeah.” He says, waving you off.
You take yourself out of his hold, going over to your tent. Honestly, it was a mess, but you were able to make out Sunghoon’s filled to the brim duffle bag. You open it, trying to scuffle through for something warm to wear.
“Ah shit,” you whisper, taking your cut finger to your mouth before examining the cut clearer. “What the hell?”
You uncover the jacket that was covering whatever sharp object that had sliced through your finger earlier.
It was a long sharp knife.
Where did your boyfriend get this? You hadn’t seen a knife like this around in your house, and more importantly, why?
It’s probably for precaution. Your brain tells you. Sunghoon is always so careful, he probably wants it to be safe incase any wild animals come.
So you ignore the knife, placing it back inside Sunghoon’s duffle. You place his jacket and make your way outside.
“It’s already 6:50, maybe we should go pick up Sana now.” You say, blowing air into your hands since it was starting to freeze.
“Oh shit, I’m cooking right now.” Hyoseop looks at the grill he’s currently grilling meat on and then back to the group. “Can someone else go get her? Preferably a guy, we shouldn’t let the girls walk out this dark.”
“I’ll go get her.” Sunghoon offers. “Let me just put on another layer really quick.”
You take a seat next to Inyoup, sipping on a glass bottle of Coca Cola.
“You think we can curl our hair with these like Olivia Rodrigo said in her song?” Jihyun jokes, raising her empty bottle up into the air. “I’m gonna try it.”
“You go do that.” Eunae scoffs, clearly unimpressed with the girl.
🫀
It takes approximately about 25 minutes for you and the group to start worrying, not seeing Sana or Sunghoon in sight.
“The parking isn’t that far right? They should’ve been here 5 minutes ago.” Hyoseop says, setting the silver plate of food onto one of the wooden logs near the grill.
“No yeah, I’m getting worried.” Jihyun stands up, “I’m gonna get a flashlight and look for them at this point.”
Jihyun makes her way to the tent she shares with Eunae, which was right across from yours.
“Shit shit shit,” she mumbles, her hands rummaging through the messy tent. “Shit!”
“What’s wrong?” You ask, quickly running over. “Jihyun, what’s wrong?”
“Some animal might’ve came in earlier and ruined our things.” Jihyun places a hand on her forehead, clearly stressed about the whole ordeal. “Please tell me there’s still a flashlight.”
She checks through her and Eunae’s bag, only to find everything but a flashlight.
“It’s okay Ji, me and Hoon have a few in our tent.” You reassure her, which makes the girl feel a bit better.
“Sunghoon’s back!”
Inyoup’s announcement makes you practically bolt out of Jihyun’s tent right away.
“Hoon!” You rush over to him, cupping his face. “Why’d you take so long? Where’s Sana?”
He gently peels your hand off, looking back at the group with a smile. “She says she forgot her toothbrush on the way and she’s gonna drive to the nearest CVS. Should be back in 20 minutes.”
The rest of the group seems to buy Sunghoon’s words, all except Eunae.
“Well why did you take so long then, Sunghoon?”
“Oh fuck off Eunae.” Inyoup exclaims. “It’s too dark right now for you to start an argument.”
Eunae scoffs. “You know what? Fine. I’m gonna take a dip in the lake, I don’t want to be near any of you right now.”
When she’s finally gone, Inyoup whistles. “I still don’t know why we’re all friends with her when she makes everything miserable.”
“Let’s just calm down.” As usual, your boyfriend is the mediator, which makes you smile and lean into his side.
“You can’t be worrying me like that Hoon!” You groan, hitting him in the chest jokingly. “Had me thinking you were lost.”
“Baby you know me,” he grins. “I’m great at navigating in the night time.”
He suddenly pulls away, “ah, I’m so hot from all the walking. I’m gonna go dip my legs in the lake for a bit.”
“Okay,” you give him a peck on the cheek. “Do you want me to come with you?”
“You can come if you want baby.” He looks down to make direct eye contact. “I know Hyoseop just made beef. You wanna eat that first and meet me later?”
You think about it a second before nodding, placing one last kiss on his face. “You’re right. I’ll see you in a bit Hoonie.”
🫀
Sunghoon sighs in relief, finally glad to have you off his back for a while.
He takes out the familiar black suit and mask, the one that is seen so many times in the scream franchise. The ghostface mask and suit.
He places it over his body, the mask fitting his face so perfectly that he’s in awe.
He already knows his first victim.
Choi fucking Eunae.
God, did she annoy him. Always getting into petty disagreements, always making a ruckus out of nothing. And tonight? The way she accused him so adamantly, the way her eyes crinkled on disgust as she looked at him.
He had to get rid of her.
“Surprise Eunae.”
Eunae’s arms are no use to Sunghoon’s muscular ones that’s wrapped around her throat.
“Help!” Eunae tries to scream, but it only comes out squeaky and inaudible.
“Poor little helpless Eunae,” Sunghoon taunts. “Taking a dip in the lake to cool her nerves because she just can’t help her silly little thoughts in her head.”
He points the sharp end of the knife directly at her throat, making a slight tear which lets blood flow down.
“Why are you doing this?” Eunae chokes up, tears already falling like a waterfall. “Sunghoon?”
She wouldn’t have known it was him because of the mask, but the voice taunting her earlier gave it all away.
“Goodnight Eunae.”
Sunghoon stabs the girl repeatedly until she stops squirming in his hold. Then, he lets go of the body, watching as it floated face down on the lake.
They’ll find her by next week, he thinks. The cops—of course. Not your friends, not you. You all would be dead by tomorrow morning before you even knew Eunae was missing.
“Aw man.” He frowns. “She got my gloves all bloody.”
🫀
Sunghoon knew you would come looking for him later, he just didn’t know when. Therefore, he knew he had to leave the premises immediately as to not be caught near Eunae’s body.
He already knew his next victims, anyway. The two brothers, Kang Hyoseop and Kang Inyoup.
He had already gotten rid of Sana, who, at the sight of him in the ghostface mask and suit, barfed all over the parking lot. He found it both amusing and fascinating—how the human mind could freak itself out so much to the point of physical sickness.
“Eunae! Is that you? Look, Hyoseop said I should apologize earlier for what I did, and although I don’t want to, he might be right.”
Maybe Sunghoon didn’t have to leave. Maybe Kang Inyoup showing up now was a sign from the universe.
He quickly makes his way behind one of the tall trees, which was enough to hide him but also enough to see Inyoup’s movements.
Inyoup goes towards the dock of the lake, “Eunae? Why the hell are you swimming like that?”
He giggles, not realizing how serious the situation was and that Choi Eunae had been dead for 10 minutes already.
Inyoup gets closer, his fingers gripping at Eunae’s arm. When he flips her over, he lets out a scream of terror, which has Sunghoon coming to put his hands over the boy’s mouth.
“What the fuck—” Inyoup cries out, eyes still not believing what they just witnessed. “What the..”
“It’s a real shame.” Sunghoon whispers in his ear, the knife he’s holding is dangerously close to Inyoup’s abdomen. “When Y/Nie first introduced me to the group, you were so welcoming and kind to me. You even opened up to me before Hyoseop.”
“Sunghoon?” Inyoup breathes out, and he can’t help but feel betrayal sink into his heart. “No, please, you can’t do this.”
“Didn’t you say you got that job offer in Osaka? Japan is beautiful.” Sunghoon takes a jab, which causes Inyoup to move forward in Sunghoon’s hold, groaning from the pain and impact. “It’s too bad you won’t ever step foot in Osaka.”
And he kills him. Drags Inyoup’s body into the lake, which floats along with Eunae’s.
“You can apologize to her in the afterlife.” Sunghoon shrugs, finding himself oh so funny.
“One Kang brother down, the next to go.”
🫀
Now Kang Hyoseop was no idiot. He knew his brother and Eunae had been gone for far too long, he knew Sunghoon had been gone for far too long. And Sana? She didn’t even come to the camping site like Sunghoon had confidently stated earlier.
“Hyoseop.” Sunghoon shows up behind him, only this time, the suit and mask are off.
“Sunghoon.” Hyoseop tries his best to give a sincere smile, but Sunghoon knows.
He knows.
“You didn’t have any food Sunghoon, you must be hungry.”
Sunghoon doesn’t know what Hyoseop’s playing at, but he’s already sick of the boy. His body feels itchy, and he has the urge to kill kill kill.
“Where’s Y/N and Jihyun?”
“Oh you know, at the lake. They needed to cool themselves off after such a hot dinner.”
Sunghoon’s eyebrows raise, and he finds his itching fingers reaching for the knife that’s tucked behind him.
“Hyoseop.” He says.
“Yes Sunghoon?”
Sunghoon pins down the boy, which is a much harder struggle than Eunae or Inyoup. Hyoseop had been going to the gym, and the boy was no weakling when it came to fights.
“I fucking knew it.” Hyoseop spits at Sunghoon. “You were the common denominator. Always so secretive and weird around us. I knew it.”
He says that with such disgust that it has Sunghoon cackling, impressed with the guy beneath him.
“But you didn’t say anything Hyoseop? You just let yourself go on a camping trip with the one guy you knew had bad intentions?”
“Fuck you!” Hyoseop tries to kick Sunghoon off of him, but it only makes the boy on top press on him harder. “I wanted to be wrong you know. I wanted to be completely wrong about thinking you were some fucked up loser for the sake of Y/N. But God, you are even worse than that.”
Sunghoon leans closer to Hyoseop, their cheeks touching.
“See you in hell Hyoseop.”
Then all the struggling stops.
It’s so easy, Sunghoon thinks. He didn’t even have to take months to plan this all out, when Choi Eunae said she wanted to go on a camping trip, he knew it was the perfect opportunity to strike.
🫀
“We have to go.” Jihyun says, grabbing your arms.
You were busy crying, feeling disgusted and horrified at the two bodies of your close friends in the lake.
Who the hell had done this to them?
“Where’s Hoonie?” You cry out. “We have to get Hoonie.”
“We’ll find him.” Jihyun reassures you, but her brain says the opposite.
She didn’t want to find Sunghoon. Like Hyoseop, she had a weird feeling about your boyfriend from the get-go. She just didn’t have the guts to tell you.
“Y/N, shh.” Jihyun places her index finger against your lips. “You hear that?”
It’s the sound of a body dragging, and you could make out the silhouette of someone tall.
“I have a gun in my tent,” Jihyun whispers. “I have to go get it. Can you distract him?”
You nod timidly, feeling fear strike every nerve in your body.
You throw a big stick across to the lake, which makes a dipping sound that has the man turning.
Jihyun, who had been the star of the track team in her high school days, runs like she’s never ran before, almost tripping over her own foot.
The man drops the body, and starts getting closer to the lake, making your breath hitch.
You watch Jihyun in the tent, letting yourself let out a breath of relief when she shows you the small gun in her hand.
“Surprise!”
Suddenly, the man’s sights are no longer on the lake, but on you.
His ghostface mask bashes against your face, making you let out a whine of pain.
“Jihyun! Jihyun!” You scream.
Jihyun panics, her hands shakily try to position the gun so that it won’t hit you.
She shoots, her eyes closing from the shock after the bullet leaves the gun, making a loud sound.
The man who had a hold on you falls back, grunting in pain.
His arms are behind his back, trying desperately to keep his body sitting upright.
“That’s what you get fucker!” Jihyun shouts, running over to you and pulling you close to her side. “For what you did to our friends.”
You hesitantly walk to the man, who’s body was shaking. You take off his mask, only to reveal the one person you wished it wasn’t.
Park Sunghoon.
Your boyfriend.
“Sunghoon?” You sob out. “What? Why? Why? Why are you doing this?”
You’re practically shouting now, horrified at the thought of your boyfriend killing your own friends.
His mouth was dripping blood, and his body looks like it was spasming.
Still, he grins, eyes filled with something you can’t recognize. He has no remorse.
“Why not?”
Jihyun decides she’s had enough, pointing the gun directly at Sunghoon’s head.
His once shaking body crumples to the floor immediately, and you feel your knees buckling at the sight.
“Shhh,” Jihyun hugs you from behind, although she too is crying. “Let’s get out of here.”
It all starts to make sense now. The flashlights disappearing, the knife you found in Sunghoon’s duffle.
Although all of this is terrifying, his last words still rang in your ear.
Why not?
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sendmylove2u · 10 days
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the ways of the jjk househusbands
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synopsis. just the jjk men as househusbands.
c info. fluff gender neutral reader + characters — satoru, kento, and toji (separate.)
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SATORU is an interesting househusband, in the nicest way to put it. . .
○ this man does not drive if he sees one of his friends around, especially if it's ichiji he's asking them to drop him off at home
○ gossips with the other houmemakers like, did you know that keisha slept with kenji behind her husband's back, not knowing that he also had an affair? satoru lives for gossip.
○ smothers you with kisses once you arrive at home after work
○ whenever he goes on shopping runs, he gets the most random things like you both definitely need a banana holder. what are you on about?
○ his love for sweets has not declined with age at all. an entire section of the pantry is dedicated towards different types of sweets.
now, satoru may have a bit of a sweet tooth problem, but is it his fault when they taste so good? maybe it's a fault on your part. you should've known that the sweets fiasco was going to happen again.
leaving satoru alone at the grocery shop is a big mistake because the moment he comes across the sweets aisle, he hastily shoves them into his cart and splurges.
once you finally arrived home, satoru immediately smothered your face with kisses. tou let a little giggle before pulling away from him, "honey, i hope you didn't overload with sweets again.." satoru ran his fingers through his white hair and gave you a big grin, "i promise i didn't, baby!" you raised your eyebrow, "so if i went into the pantry, i couldn't find a whole load of sweets, would i , 'toru?" he gave you and awkward laugh before replying. "of course not!" you looked him up and down then walked over to the pantry narrowly avoiding satoru's efforts to block your way. you opened the door only to once again see an entire section dedicated to sweets. you rubbed your temple. "oh, sweetheart, you've got to be kidding me..."
KENTO loves to take care of you once you get home. he showers you with so much affection; he gives you massages, runs you hot baths with scented candles, gives you forehead kisses, and so much more.
○ he does so much cooking and baking when you're out! he especially bakes bread for you.
○ hangs out with the other housemakers; he goes to the cooking classes older ladies offer, early morning walks, and checks out different kitchen appliances in shops with them.
○ always has his coupons and members' point cards on him 24/7. . . the moment he's at the till, he's taking out all the coupons, member point cards, and vouchers.
"sir, your total amount is 14,182 yen. do you have any coupons you'd like to use?" a yes comes out of kento's mouth, and the next thing the poor cashier sees is multiple coupons (that seemed endless) being taken out of his wallet, her mouth— slightly agape, she began scanning all the coupons until she came to a final total, "your total is now 5,673 yen, sir.." kento paid the amount and put the groceries into the bags, "thank you. may I have the receipt? the cashier passed over the receipt, "ah, uh yes, here you go! have a good day, sir!" nanami gave her a nod and his thanks, then left the shop.
TOJI tries to be a good househusband for you!
○ he learnt how to cook proper meals for you.
○ toji loves discounts; that man is still stingy as hell.
○ he also has the occasional side jobs so he can get some extra money that he can splurge on!
○ he keeps the apartment clean so you don't complain about it once you come home from work (toji has gone through at least fifteen brooms in the past few months; he may or may not have snapped them by accident.)
he convinced you to buy a roomba after that. . .
○ some people in your neighbourhood are terrified of him, especially kids, due to the gossip that goes around about his past.
AS you were about to enter your apartment, you saw your neighbour and decided to catch up with her quickly! (you guys talked for around an hour), and she briefly mentioned that she needed a babysitter because her sitter was on her with no explanation, so you suggested toji! she agreed, and the next day, her son knocked on your door only to see a tall man with a scar on his mouth towering over him, "yer the kid 'm babysitting?" the boy took a big gulp before silently nodding his head, "well then cmon in."
surprisingly, it wasn't that bad! at first, it was a tad awkward, but in the end, toji spent the whole day playing games and watching tv with him. toji was officially his babysitter after that day.
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rinkkuma · 2 days
Text
୨୧ SOUR GRAPES
don't get me wrong, i've never exactly liked you.
ft. satoru gojo, yuta okkotsu, suguru geto, yuuji itadori, & megumi fushiguro
tags. a tiny bit ooc satoru, very light angst, gn!reader, mostly fluff ! / author's note. inspired by the song, sour grapes by lesserafim :3 (also its insane that theyve literally almost debuted two years ago) essentially just feelings in denial kinda!
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SATORU is naturally a smooth talker, so he personally believes that he has never actually had a crush on anyone. sometimes he unintentionally flirts with people. one time, a waitress seemed to be super flustered, but all he did was order. (it was his tone of voice, but he's super unaware.. and maybe his stupid, handsome face) so, when suguru and shoko asked him one day if he had a crush on you, he was confused why they would think so. in their perspectives, satoru's tone of voice was softer around you, he wasn't just mindlessly “flirting” with you, his compliments seemed genuine. and to top it off, you are always the first person he looks at when he cracks a joke. satoru himself noticed this but had no idea why he had done this. he also felt his heart race around you. and his face felt hot around you. despite being flirty, he had never actually dated anyone, so the feeling was new to him. maybe a little more convincing from suguru and shoko was all it took for him to realize that he did like you.
YUTA and you are childhood friends, and people often mistake you for a couple. even your friends ship you. yuta nervously laughs and says, “we're practically siblings! we've known each other since we were little.” you on the other hand, feel dejected when he says this, because you maybe kind of had a fat crush on him. truthfully, yuta himself feels that he may have been developing feelings for you over the past few years, but has been terrified to say something because he didn't want to ruin your years worth of friendship over his stupid feelings. he had a nightmare one night that he had confessed to you, and you looked at him with a puzzled face and told him you thought of him more as a brother than anything. he comically woke up sweating and sat right up, thankful that it was just a dream. that whole day, yuta seemed off. seemingly avoiding you, and if he couldn't, it was minimal interaction. after a few days of yuta's odd behavior, you decide to confront him. yuta mindlessly mumbles some random things that you couldn't understand, but towards the end, he suddenly confesses. yuta himself looks surprised at what he said, and he awkwardly says, “oh.. just, uh.. pretend you didn't hear anything if you don't feel the same. it was.. an accident.” you laugh and tell him you have felt the same all these years, and he breathes a sigh of relief. you and yuta went on a date the next day.
SUGURU is typically kind, calm, and gentle with everyone, but with you? he seems to be slightly more snappy and has a cold tone of voice. it's not like he's being rude or mean to you; he just seems irritated. whenever you laugh at one of satoru's jokes, you swear his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he is loudly sighing. maybe it's because you're annoyingly pretty and your laugh is so cute that he's annoyed. or maybe the fact that he's not the one making you laugh. and don't even get me started when it's just the two of you. awkward silence. you could hear crickets chirping, a pin drop, and the subtle breathing. you have tried multiple times to start a conversation and maybe break this romantic tension, but he has always just dryly responded and kept the conversation one-sided. and this wasn't just a few times; it was daily. every single day, satoru and shoko randomly leave, and you've tried tagging along before to avoid the awkwardness with suguru, but they quickly run off before you get the chance to ask. it was painfully obvious to satoru and shoko that you two had liked each other and hey, maybe if they keep leaving the two of you alone like this, one of you will crack and confess. (spoiler: it was suguru first.)
YUUJI has always thought you were an amazing person. romantically though? he thought otherwise. but, oh boy, one day when he saw you with a guy he had never seen in his life, his mind changed immediately. he quickly thinks to himself, “you're not even dating in the first place. don't get jealous. dontgetjealousdontgetjealous.” yuuji nearly loses it when he sees the guy hug you. he uses every cell in his body to resist running up to the guy and maybe or maybe not swinging at him. after a few eye twitches deep breaths, he starts to walk in your direction as if he were casually passing by and coincidentally ran into you. when he makes eye contact with you, he smiles before saying, “oh, hey y/n! watcha doing here?” while his smile seemed a little forced, you brushed it off. you wave back to him and tell him that you saw a cousin of yours after not seeing him for a few years. relief immediately washed over yuuji, and he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding in.
MEGUMI is oblivious. his face is clearly flushed, and his words are slightly jumbled whenever he's around you. this became even more clear when one day, yuuji and nobara had interrogated him about why his face is always red around you. which of course, he denied. he simply says, “it was hot out, that's all.” they see right through megumi's “lie.” yuuji and nobara both look at each other before bursting out laughing. “it's literally winter, fushiguro.” megumi rolled his eyes and moved on with his day. (he was secretly praying they didn't make a big deal about it, but he knows damn well they probably did) yuuji and nobara on the other hand, ran to tell you that it was quite literally confirmed that megumi liked you too! after they told you about what they had just witnessed, (mind you, they were speaking fast as hell so it was hard to understand, but you got the general idea) they started dragging you towards megumi's location. they didn't even give you a chance to oblige against it because they couldn't let this chance go to waste! they've been watching the tension between you and megumi for the past few months, and they were sick of it! and oh boy, when you were finally face-to-face with megumi.. it was awkward. like 3 minutes of awkward silence. but, it ended with megumi asking you out, so hey!
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inspired by this prompt list <3
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headkiss · 21 days
Note
heyyy, how are you?? i love your work so much!!! i was wondering if you could write something about steve having a crush on r, but when they are together he gest shy and quiet and r misunderstands that and thinks he doesn't like her like everyone is telling her he is ???
im sorry if its confusing, english is not my first language,, anywayy feel free to change anything !!! ❤️
hi baby thank you so much!!! i’m so sorry this has been in my asks since september but i hope u enjoy all the same :,) i finally wrote something!!! yay!!! | 0.7k teeny tiny angst and fluff!!
You’re pretty sure Steve Harrington doesn’t like you. That’s what you tell Robin when you see her at the Family Video counter, alone for once. She bursts out laughing.
“I’m being serious!”
Before Robin responds, Steve walks out of the back room, grinning that grin you wish you didn’t love so much, his hair a little messy, like he didn’t have enough time to style it this morning the way he usually does.
He’s looking at Robin when he says: “what’s so funny?”
“I bet you’d love to know, dingus.” She nods at you and shrugs, “it’s girl stuff.”
It’s only then that he notices you’re there, his eyes flicking over your face quickly, his head ripping in a small nod. You might not have noticed it if you weren’t looking right at him already.
“Oh, right.” He smiles again, tight-lipped this time. “Hey.”
“Hi, Steve.”
“Hey,” he says again.
Yeah, you’re pretty sure Steve Harrington doesn’t like you, because this is what happens whenever you’re around. He goes quiet, awkward, where others have always found him outgoing and kind.
You suppose it only makes things worse when you want him to like you so bad. If only as a friend, even.
“Um, I was just grabbing…” You flounder before picking up a random movie by the front desk, “this.”
“Right,” he scratches the back of his neck as he says it.
Meanwhile Robin’s head is turning to look between the two of you like it’s a tennis match. You widen your eyes at her and she gets the signal, scanning your movie and letting you head out with it when she knows you’ll be returning it before even opening the case.
“You’re such an idiot,” she says to Steve as the door shuts behind you, the bell jingling with your departure.
“Robin-”
“No! You are, Steve. Listen, you know I love you, but she thinks you don’t like her. At all!”
Now, Steve knows that he acts like an absolute dork wherever you’re concerned, but he never wanted you to think that. Never. If anything, he likes you more than he’s ever liked anyone before, and it terrifies him.
Any ounce of the confidence that’s left over from his ‘King Steve’ era seems to evaporate, and the words just don’t come the way they should. But fuck, he didn’t want to hurt you. He’d never want to hurt you.
“Shit,” he runs a hand through his hair, uncaring about how it might look for once.
“Yeah, shit.” Robin nudges her shoulder against his, “she’s still in her car, by the way. Just saying.”
Steve nods, muttering some kind of encouragement for himself under his breath. He pushes his way out the door, picking up his pace to a jog when he hears you start your car.
The knock on your window startles you, surprises you when you look over to find Steve standing out there, the sun a halo around his figure, his Family Video vest just a little crooked.
You shut your car off and roll your window down, squinting up at him, “Steve? Everything okay?”
“I do like you.”
“What?”
His chest is rising and falling quickly, his eyes wide and something like worry looming in them. “I do like you.”
“Steve, did Robin put you up to this? ‘Cause you don’t have to-”
“She didn’t. I promise she didn’t,” he leans down a little, his hands resting on your door. “She told me you thought I didn’t like you and I couldn’t let you leave still thinking that. I like you. A lot.”
You blink up at him, mouth opening and closing, trying to figure out what to say. For so long, you’d been convinced that he wasn’t a fan of yours, and here he is, sincerity written all over his face.
“You never talk to me, I thought-”
“I know. I know and I’m sorry.” Steve hangs his head for a second, inhaling once before looking at you again. “The truth is I, uh, have a crush on you. Probably more than a crush, and I didn’t know what to do with it so I acted like a fucking idiot.”
“You have a crush on me?”
“Yeah, I do. Kind of a big one.”
You can’t fight the smile on your face at that. “I have a crush on you too, Steve.”
It’s the first time you make Steve Harrington blush, the first genuine smile of his that you earn. And it won’t be the last.
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skaye44 · 27 days
Text
The Incident
Avengers Bucky
Summary: You work up the courage to confess your feelings to your best friend who thought you were joking. You weren't. Since you think he doesn't feel the same as you, someone new enters the picture that lights a fire under Bucky.
Content warnings: Mild language, clueless Bucky, Bucky plays pranks on you so immature Bucky? FLUFF
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It had been two months since you confessed your feelings to your best friend and that moment still haunts you to this day.
You now refer to it as "The Incident" in your head and can't stop thinking about it, obsessing over it.
It was after a party, you and Bucky were hanging out on one of the couches in the lounge, finishing your last drinks before heading to bed. You weren't drunk by any means since the following day, you were headed out on a solo surveillance mission on your own.
Since Bucky arrived at the compound, you and he became fast friends. You were always a little shy around everyone else and he helped you come out of your shell. He would always sit next to you at meals, help you train by giving you tips and pointers, and he would hang out with you on your days off. You watched TV and movies together, and when Tony threw any of his famous parties, you two hung out at the back of the room and silently judged the guests causing the two of you to giggle and smirk with one another.
You quickly developed a crush on the super soldier but always tried to hide it. He would flirt with you constantly, even cuddling you close to him on movie nights and stealing quick pecks on your cheek and forehead. Your crush eventually deepened to another level, but you were terrified of telling him or anyone else for that matter since you feared you would lose your friendship.
Bucky had his arm lazily draped over your shoulders as you were chatting about the party when you decided to shoot your shot and tell your best friend you had feelings for them.
Once you confessed your feelings to Bucky, he just sat there and stared at you, unable to speak. You gave him a few minutes to collect himself, but he still sat there with a blank expression on his face.
When he finally looked at you, he thought you were joking and nudged your shoulder and laughed it off.
You were mortified.
He thought you were joking with him. He got up from the couch and walked you back to your room not even phased by your confession.
After your confession, things with Bucky remained the same. He still hung out with you like it never happened. He even started playing pranks on you making you more frustrated and hurt. He changed your shampoo to body lotion, he put a red sock in the washing machine with your whites causing your load to turn pink, a colour which you hated, and even put a rubber snake in your bed to scare you, which worked. You were terrified of snakes and are pretty sure the entire compound heard your scream from discovering it.
You were beyond frustrated with the man, so you decided to keep away from him as much as possible. No more movie nights or snuggling together, you used FRIDAY any chance you got to tell you his location, so you could avoid him. It hurt a lot, but you knew you had to do it because being around him made you feel awkward and sad, and in all honesty, silly.
There was another party Tony was throwing you were obligated to go to. You were dreading going to it since all the other parties you have attended, you always had Bucky at your side, but this one would be different.
He wouldn't be at your side.
You slipped on a plain black dress, black heels, and Nat did your hair in a simple low bun. You didn't want to draw any attention to you and this look was basic and straightforward. When you arrived at the party, you found Nat standing in the corner, observing the crowd. 
"Hey Nat".
You walked over to her.
"Hi Y/N, you look great".
She handed you a glass of champagne.
"Ugh, I want to leave already" you looked around at the guests.
You spotted Bucky talking to Steve. They were standing over by one of the bars. Thankfully he had his back to you, so he didn't see you.
You made your way throughout the room with Nat by your side. You met with the guests and were having a good time which surprised you. Nat went to the bar to get herself another drink, leaving you alone by the dance floor.
Just then, a finger tapped you on your shoulder and you turned to see who it was.
When you turned around, you were surprised. 
"Hi" he said as he smiled at you.
You recognized him as Riley Tucker, a forward for the New York Nomads, the hockey team you were obsessed with.
"Hi".
You smiled at him trying not to fan girl too bad.
"So, you come here often?" he asked with a cheesy smile.
"Actually, I live here so yes"
He laughed and you winked at him.
"I'll get you another drink". You walked with him to the bar.
You chatted with him for the rest of the night. He told you he was on a two-week homestand with the team and about his dog Lucy. You enjoyed the company and attention you were getting from him.
You felt a set of eyes on you the entire time you were with Riley, but you didn't pay them any attention. When the party ended, you exchanged numbers with him as he gave you a quick hug and kiss on the cheek.
"Way to go Y/N" Nat gushed.
You made your way to the elevator.
"He's really nice" you smiled.
"He better call or text you".
"I hope he does".
The next day, you got a text from Riley.
You ended up talking more and more over the next few days and eventually, he asked you out on a date. You went out for dinner followed by a walk in the park. Riley was handsome, polite, funny, and charming. You enjoyed your date with him. Once the date was over, he drove you back to the compound and kissed you goodnight. 
When you walked into the living room, you saw Bucky and Steve sitting on the couch watching TV.
"Where did you go to tonight looking like that?" Steve said wiggling his eyebrows.
"She had a hot date with the hockey player" Nat yelled from the kitchen.
You smiled at her and looked at Steve and nodded.
"Good for you Y/N" Steve said.
Just then, Bucky got up and walked out of the room.
Over the next week, you went out for coffee with Riley, met his dog Lucy and walked in the park, and even got the chance to head to the movies with him. He even gave you tickets to one of their home games which you took Sam to.
You were starting to like him every time you were with him making you slowly forget about "The Incident".
The only problem was dealing with Bucky at the compound.
Before every date you and Riley had, something always went wrong causing Riley to have to come and get you, or your date being delayed. You were pretty sure Riley thought you were a scatterbrain with all the problems you seemed to be having which made you really embarrassed but he was really understanding and patient with you.
One time your car wouldn't start, your keys would go missing, your wallet would disappear. You never had any evidence of the culprit, but you always knew who was responsible.
"Hey Y/n". Bucky came up to you as were finishing in the gym.
"Hi Bucky". You were suspicious so you made sure to keep a neutral expression.
"What are you doing later? I was thinking we could watch a movie tonight. I'll even let you pick it. We haven't watched a movie in a while" he walked with you to your room.
"I can't Bucky, I'm going out with Riley tonight, he's picking me up at 7pm. It's his last night here then he's on a weeklong road trip". You made it to your room.
"Oh".
"See you tomorrow". You walked into your room leaving Bucky in the hallway.
You were only going for dinner, nothing else as Riley had to get up early in the morning for his team flight to Dallas so you didn't want to stay out too late. You took a long shower then wen you were finished, you wrapped yourself in a towel and proceeded to choose your clothes. Once you chose your clothes, you had to do something with your unruly hair.
You plugged in your blow dryer and started it up.
When it started, there was a giant puff of white baby powder that went everywhere. It was all over your bathroom causing a big, thick, cloud to linger in the air, making you sputter and cough uncontrollably until you sneezed. When the cloud finally disappeared, you were covered head to toe looking like a ghost.
"JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" you shouted.
You ripped open your door and immediately ran to his room, not bothering to knock first, before busting it open.
"What seems to be the problem Y/N?" Bucky asked in a serious tone.
He was reading a book on his bed.
"You know damn well what you did, look at me, I look like a damn ghost!" you yelled at him.
He was trying to suppress a smile, but it wasn't going well.
"What the hell is wrong with you?"
By this time, Steve, Nat, and Sam were outside the door, watching the show.
"I don't know what you mean Y/n"
Bucky said in a serious tone while putting his book aside.
"If you're going out for 7pm, you're cutting it close as it's already 6:30pm. You better hurry up because you can't go dressed like that".
"Oh my God!" you screamed at him with your arms raised up.
"What is your problem Bucky?" you yelled.
"Why can't you leave me alone and let me try and be happy?"
"I don't know what you mean?" Bucky watched you closely.  
"I'm getting tired of the pranks you are pulling at my expense, and I am bloody tired of it. You're a giant child James Barnes, and it needs to stop now! The pranks only seem to mysteriously happen when I have a date".
You glared at Bucky who just watched you.
"Care to enlighten me about your timing?".
You crossed your arms over your chest, waiting for a response.
"No" Bucky simply said.
"No? What does that even mean, No? You have nothing to say then?" you bellowed.
"No" Bucky firmly said.
"So, what, I can't be happy then?”
You glared at him, but he was silent.
"James, I'm waiting..."
You impatiently tapped your foot on the ground.
"I don't want you going out with that hockey player" Bucky finally said looking down at the floor.
"What?"
"I said, I don't want you going out with him anymore, I don't like it" Bucky said more firmly.
You didn’t see Sam, Steve, and Nat in the hallway gasp and look between one another.
"What do you care Bucky? So, what, I can't go out with him because you said so? Who then, can I go out with? I tried going out with you, but that didn't work out, and now not Riley, so tell me, Buck, who can I go out with? Who is worthy enough for me to date then in your opinion because it sure isn't you and now Riley?"
You crossed your arms against your chest waiting for an answer.
"I didn't turn you down Y/n".
Bucky got off the bed.
"Yes, you did Bucky, I confessed to you I had feelings for you, and you just sat there then shrugged it off like I told you a weather forecast and went about your day like it was nothing."
You were now trying to suppress the tears from your eyes.
"I just needed time Y/N".
Bucky stood in front of you.
"Time?"
You shook your head.
"Bucky, how much time do you need, it's been 2.5 months and you act like it didn't even happen!"
You looked down at the floor.
"You won't talk to me or mention it, you play horrible pranks on me, and now you're mad at me for me going out with Riley. I don't understand what you want from me?".
You were unable to stop the tears from flowing.
"You"
Bucky reached for your hand and held it in his.
"I just want you" Bucky squeezed it.
"What?" You looked up at him.
"I realized when you told me you had feelings for me, that I had them too, but I was scared. I haven't been in a relationship for a very long time and honestly, I-I wasn't sure what to do. I never thought anyone could want me because of my past but when you told me your feelings, I froze. I had a lot of things circling in my head that night and I was unable to say anything so I just put what you said aside and would deal with it later. I realize now I was an idiot and made you feel awkward. I want to apologize to you. Y/n, I am sorry for putting you through that. When I saw you with Riley at the party, it hurt me, but it hurt me more when you kept going out with him. I realized I wanted to be the one taking you out. I wanted to hold your hand. I wanted to kiss you goodnight, and I was jealous. I realized what an amazing person I had right in front of me and I let that slip out of my grasp. I also never gave you an answer when I should have".
Bucky took your other hand in his.
You couldn't stop the tears now flowing down your cheeks. The tears were now mixing with the powder you were covered in, making it hard to rub your eyes.
"Y/N, can you forgive me?" Bucky asked while looking deep into your eyes.
"I'd like to take you out on a real date".
You stood there staring at him in shock.
"I...I don't know what to say Buck". You looked down confused.
"Say you'll be my girl Y/n, give me another chance".
Bucky stepped closer to you.
You looked into his eyes and all the butterflies and feelings you had suppressed for so long suddenly came out making your tears run down your cheek at a rapid pace.
"Don't cry Doll".
Bucky wiped the tears away with his hand.
As you stood there in Bucky's room in only a towel, covered in powder with tears streaming down your face, you started giggling.
You couldn't help it.
After all you had been through and the sudden burst of emotion you had felt within the past 20 minutes, all seemed to come out at once and the only thing you could do to process anything was giggle. You shook your head as you tried holding in the laughs, but it was no use.
Bucky also started laughing while he moved your hands into a hug and held onto you while you laughed.
"I feel so stupid right now".
Bucky pulled away from the hug.
"I want to be with you Buck".
"It's always been you".
You looked into his eyes.
"Oh my god, can you guys just kiss already" Sam yelled from the hallway. You could hear Steve shush him and Nat slap him upside the head followed by an “Ow!”
You chuckled and Bucky scowled at the hallway.
"I'll tell Riley you can't make it" Nat went to your room to grab your phone.
You stood there in Bucky's room looking down at yourself in a towel covered in powder, just now realizing what you must look like.
"Oh my god Bucky, I look like a hot mess".
Powder fell from your head.
"You look beautiful".
Bucky put his hand under your chin and raised it up looking into your eyes.
He leaned in and gave you a kiss, which you happily returned.
"Finally!" Steve and Sam both yelled from the hallway as they walked away happy.
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