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#that might just be my abandonment issues
quaranmine · 20 hours
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random firewatch au detail that has basically no impact on the story unless you want to psychoanalyze fw!grian even further than i did as the author, but it's very intentional that i always refer to both of mumbo's parents but only grian's mom. did i give him daddy issues? i guess so, but not in a way where i really deeply examined the implications as meaningful to the story. it was just a detail i stuck with from the beginning as a way to keep fleshing out the story's background subtly. the idea behind grian's dual citizenship was always that he was born in america to an american dad and british mom, and that his mom moved back to the UK when he was very young since she wanted to be closer to her family. perhaps his dad didn't go with them? or perhaps his dad did, and then later they split and he went back to america? whatever the cause, grian never even mentions his dad in the story, and it wasn't because i intended him to be dead (because that would have come up in a story about grief) if you get me
#i have no idea why but i normally HATE thinking about cubitos' parents in like. normal mcyt settings sjlfjslkfjs#if i'm writing a hermitcraft-setting fic i'd rather have them all just spawn into the world fully formed than dealing with their parents LO#but in a real-world au it made more sense for the characters to mention their parents occasionally#i just similarly didn't spend TOO much time worrying about it because it was not really the focus#everybody's relationships with their family is a bit less important here than their relationships with their Friends here you know?#i also think that ivi inspired this a little because somewhere early in the fic she was like hey what Made grian react to things like this?#like what experiences in his life primed him to react like This to the story events?#i was like. oh yeah.#cause i normally approach writing grian from the perspective of watcher!grian#but normally him on hermitcraft or life series AFTER he escaped them and it's more of an old trauma that informs his present actions#with firewatch au there is like....none of that pretext. there's no context that he might have had other trauma in life?#but i WAS writing him like that. out of habit. and i'm not saying he DID have prexisting trauma in firewatch au#that's very much something i haven't bothered to flesh out because it's in the zone of things where my time was better spent elsewhere#but i will say i think i only starting doing the one parent detail AFTER ivi mentioned this lmao#i mean. if the guy's got abandonment issues it probably explains a lotttt of his fear of giving up on Mumbo. just sayin'#hc_firewatch_au
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quietwingsinthesky · 7 months
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Do you agree w/ the fandom interpretation that john was so homophobic he’d have beaten up and abandoned his sons for being gay? Cause sure, he grew up in the 60s as a mechanic and then later became a marine during the vietnam war, but i also don’t think homophobia would’ve necessarily been a priority for him? Like obviously he’s not gonna be the full on supportive and politically correct loving dad, but i think that the fandom’s general opinion on that is pretty warped by people’s relationships w/ their own fathers
I do think this is one place where people tend to project. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that; working out our issues through fiction is healthy and good! I don’t think there’s any canon proof of it beyond, as you said, him being a marine from the sixties who would probably not be super knowledgeable about being queer, maybe a little apprehensive about it from what he’s absorbed through the culture he grew up in. I think we’d be correct to point out that if Sam or Dean were queer, he might be uncomfortable about it, he might try to avoid the topic, which is in of itself hurtful.
The thing about me is: I fully disagree that John was ever physically abusive towards his kids. At most, I will bend this interpretation to say he was probably too harsh on them while teaching them to fight and that maybe he and Sam have traded blows before when arguments got too loud (by blows, I mean, probably shoving with the yelling, you know, assertion of physical space. It seems realistic to me that two people who have been using violence for a long time to protect themselves, and for John, his family, down to the hierarchal power he’s put in place of him -> Dean -> Sam, would resort to it when things got too heated.)
(I also think that sometimes fandom’s insistence that John had to be physically abusive can sometimes get a little insulting because it perpetuates the idea that emotional abuse does less harm and can be overlooked and for flattening out John’s character in a way the show very literally pointed to and said He Did Not Do That. This is the entire point of Max’s episode in s1, for the show to point out that their experiences of abuse were different. How well it was handled is arguable, but I take it as clear evidence that when we talk about John’s relationship with his sons, the focus should be on the emotional abuse, the codependency he developed with Dean from a very young age, his neglect of them both, his attempts to suppress Sam, etc. And I appreciate this about the show, because you can’t talk about any of those things without also talking about why they’re happening, why John thinks this is necessary, how he loves his sons and isolates them to protect them and ends up doing more and more damage that will never leave them through their entire lives.
I’m sure there’s depictions of John being physically abusive that handle it with the same amount of nuance that the show handles him being emotionally abusive in canon. I have not seen them, unfortunately. I’ve seen John being physically abusive 90% of the time just being used as shorthand for him being Bad and Evil and A Terrible Father. Which does not interest me. So I will remain here as a staunch defender of He Would Not Fucking Hit His Kids.)
Sorry, okay, we got off topic there this is about gay shit.
The point of All Of That was for me to be able to say, John’s not going to react to his sons being queer by beating them. He’s definitely not going to abandon them. Hello? John Winchester? Abandon his kids? John Winchester, the guy who has been keeping them in warded up motel rooms their whole lives and moving them across the country out of paranoia the demon who killed his wife could find them if they say anywhere too long? John Winchester who only trusted one or two people to ever look after his sons when he went on a hunting trip too long? We think that John would ditch his kid because they’re queer???
Like I said, I think the most realistic reaction for John, (if not just flat out him going ‘that’s fine, now load this gun while I time you because that’s more important for me to know that you can do’, because. He kind of has bigger priorities to worry about here. Like werewolves.) would be discomfort and pushing it out of his view, ignoring it. Which would still fucking hurt! And would have horrible effects on Sam and Dean both, would encourage Dean to repress it if he thinks his dad is ashamed of him, would push Sam away if he trusts John with this fact about himself and can’t be accepted easily.
I just think this is truer to John’s character.
Anyway. If nothing else here persuades anyone reading that John Would Not Fucking Do That, well. He thought his kid was demonspawn, remember? He thought Sam was corrupted and might not be able to be saved. I don’t think you can get more clear queercoding than that, and you know what John’s very telling response was to that information, to finding out something a thousand times more terrifying than Sam being gay ever could be? To refuse to look at it. To insist to himself that whatever Hell wanted with Sam, he wouldn’t let it happen. To tell Dean to take care of it, because even when John is certain that his son might literally become a demon, he could never bring himself to pull the trigger on him. Because he loves Sam.
So like. He literally would not do anything for the much smaller realization that Sam is gay. His son has demon blood that might turn him super evil, and John still wouldn’t hurt him.
I guess what I’m trying to say here is, I try to keep the fact that John loved his sons at the forefront of my mind when I’m writing stuff about him, because I think if you let that slide out of your head, you can very easily make him much worse, much more flat than he was in canon. The real picture of him is just an extremely flawed man in a terrible situation who fucks up his kids as much as he protects them.
And also he wouldn’t care about them being gay because JohnAzazel real and true and they fucked sloppy in that hospital basement-
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eir-parade · 7 months
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Polar|Star (P|S)
Leo/Need Adjacent Band
A group of music enthusiasts finding comfort in one another through their own music. Made with and for each other.
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Hoshino Ichika - Vocalist, Guitarist, Partial Lyricist. Losing her passion for music, she wants to relearn what it means to enjoy music.
Asahina Mafuyu - Keyboardist, Partial Lyricist. Wants to find herself and feels as if music is the correct direction.
Shiraishi An - Drummer. After learning the truth of RAD WEEKEND, An lost her aspiration of trying to surpass it but also out of respect for Nagi. Ever since though, she has been having difficulty trying to understand her music.
Kiritani Haruka - Bassist, Composer. After quitting being an idol, Haruka found her way with a new instrument, showing her feelings in a new way.
SEKAI: Empty Assembly SEKAI
Similar to the Empty SEKAI where it’s just a huge white area, except in the design of a School Assembly Hall.
Despite there being a stage, the Hall itself seems to expand on forever.
School desks and chairs haphazardly dotted about in the Hall, blank sheets or paper with garbled writing strewn out on the desks and the floor.
First Virtual Singer
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Hatsune Miku - Is basically like Niigo Miku. Acts like a calming presence to the others.
Virtual Singers
Order of Appearance (StC)
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All act fairly similar to their Nightcord selves (blame Mafuyu /lh)
Megurine Luka - Tends to specifically criticise Ichika. Will read over Ichika’s lyrics or hears how she plays and will ask “is that it?” Though never actually giving the answer, Luka will nudge and hint Ichika in the correct direction. Ichika used to dislike how Luka would ‘pick on her’ but now trusts Luka’s opinion whole-heartedly.
Kagamine Rin - The group's biggest critic. Even if they think they’re doing something correctly, or playing right, Rin would immediately criticise them, telling them they’re wrong and that they should be doing it like this. Her criticism helps bring Haruka back down to Earth but causes Mafuyu immense stress and panic. Rin also acts similar to a prefect so will tell them off for running or shouting (namely An).
MEIKO - Represents distance… again. And hesitancy. Specifically An and Ichika’s hesitancy to get close to people again due to their own abandonment issues. When the group were deciding on actually becoming a full band, MEIKO directly questions An and Ichika’s dedication.
Kagamine Len - Childish. Like Niigo Len, P|S Len represents Mafuyu’s inner child, a childhood she lost. He also represents being a good student and would stress when he doesn’t get something right but also has moments where ‘slacking off’ seems to make him happy. He can also represent the other’s childhood as he can be very starry eyed.
KAITO - Anger. Pure, unadulterated rage towards Mafumom, broken promises, liars, fakes, and the world.
Subject to Change as I go on figuring out this AU more.
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sysig · 4 months
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Dr. ZEXenstein (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#ZEX#The Captain#DAX#I made this before Halloween so it was appropriately spooky at the time of creation! I swear!!#I have a favourite Frankenstein: The Musical animatic that occasionally goes through the rotation but it was still a surprise to crossover#But you know how it goes - at first it's just a fun initial silly/spooky idea and then my brain clicks back on and Oh No This Is A Thing lol#But for now! Silliness!#I'm still really enamoured with the idea of ZEX as a warrior and a scholar - very Thucydides y'know ♪#His extremely brilliant tactical mind needs puzzles! And I mean with all this free time on Cerenkov and given the right Ingredients#He'd certainly have the motivation to try and figure out the trick to life maybe-very-specifically-about-humans lol#It does raise the question of what a ''human'' made by a VUX might be like ♪ Yes he's a reanimated corpse(s) but like#Surely even with all his research - at the very least something /could/ have gotten lost in translation :)#Maybe even just the inherent Thing of humanness - the soul or respect of the dead? Like swearing in another language if you know what I mean#It's interesting :) I mean it's interesting either way haha it's a fun concept!#Especially with Frankenstein specifically since y'know - the creature's whole Thing of why he Came Out Wrong was mostly on Victor!#He rejected and abandoned his ''child'' - of course he's gonna have some emotional issues Victor!#ZEX tho - ZEX has no reason to abandon a human(oid) especially one he intentionally went about bringing about!#So his eyes are a little weird - so he's got some odd stitches and he moves strangely and smells a bit - how different is that from humans?#All humans are monstrous! What's a few extra details? ZEX is already a xenophile and a teratophile is what I'm saying lol#DAX on the other hand is not convinced lol ♪ Drawing his head tendrils change expressions so fast was fun haha#As was drawing the Captain all stitched and with the bolts! Yes yes they're movie addition shhh all art is scaffolded over time#The real question is where ZEX got all the parts from - is that the Captain for realsies?#Or a fun role fill-in ''What if ZEX made a human and it was the Captain [before the Captain would've existed anyway]?''#It could go either way! It'd be sad if ZEX lost his Captain and then tried to bring him back :')#But then again the alternative is him like........harvesting? (Off the battlefield? Ew lol)#Oh yeah and do you like the broken-off head tendril as a stand-in for Victor's whitening hair lol#I imagine it went necrotic and wasn't quite fully reaccepted - it's still full of blood and healthy but the skin is faded and pale hehehe
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homobrainjuice · 4 months
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god forbid I eat dinner with my family and the only two moots I talk to have to leave like actually fuck me
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emeritusterzo · 7 months
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this is how the disciples felt when after feasting on his flesh and drinking of his blood jesus died again after the three days
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neo-shitty · 27 days
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✍️.
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lethotep · 7 months
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one time like a decade ago i shared a post about trusting dogs more than people who dislike dogs on Facebook, and this girl who joined my D&D group at the time because she was dating one of my friends made this whole rant shading me about it because apparently she hated dogs
Anyway, she also tried to feed me raw chicken once because she also hated "over-cooked" chicken so I think not trusting people who hate dogs checked out
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Started following a dom on twitch and I am learning some truths about myself
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rogueddie · 2 years
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Steve's parents are abusive- this isn't up for debate, they very clearly neglected him. But jumping to other types of abuse or that they were cruel in other ways too? It's not necessary. Think about it;
Steve had loving parents. His childhood was, for a long time, brilliant. He was always going out of his way to make his parents proud and getting rewarded constantly. He was spoilt. His mother had spent an entire day making him feel so loved and special when he told them he got on the basketball team.
They both loved him so much that Steve was so full of joy that he felt like he would pop, like a bubble blown too big.
They missed his first game. But they were both apologetic when they got back. How could Steve stay mad? But they missed the next one. And the next . They didn't even care when he showed them his improved grades.
They had slowly, but effectively, distanced themselves from him. He hadn't even noticed. And he didn't know what he had done wrong. Because surely he had done something, right? They wouldn't just... forget about him. Right?
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pogasm · 6 months
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guys i was wrong you can’t overthink mental illness my anxiety is back
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hollyhomburg · 2 years
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i know you’re working so hard on bily and there’s a lot to get done for the next few chapters (you’re doing so well mwah) but i was just wondering when the next one would be out?? <3
hopefully this weekend! i have the chapter almost entirely finished and the moodboard completed but...i have life events in the works. heres to hoping that i can like...pull it out in the next two days cuz otherwise we might be off schedule :(
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oeuryale · 2 months
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can literally feel myself get physically sick over feeling like i'm losing my bestfriend haha
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sundial-bee-scribbles · 10 months
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8 for the artist asks?
8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in?
oh man this is a hard one.
i don't necessarily keep track of that stuff, and my memory is abysmally bad too so i can't even exactly remember any in particular, but i know there's gotta be so so many
it depends too ig heavily on what it is?? there's some old original stories of mine that i scrapped almost in their entirety, though i know some concepts/characters i'd be willing to recycle for use in something else.
w/ fandom stuff ofc, i'm sure we've all seen authors/artists lose interest in something they were posting and stopped updating it, leaving it unfinished. i can't exactly blame them; as much as it might suck for the readers/viewers that were invested, it would suck even more for the original creator to be forced to do something they've lost all passion for.
some things stay forever but you move on from others, and it's not necessarily a tragedy despite the years of mourning endured
weirdly specific artist asks
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I never finished this comic, but Ultimate Programmer Kazuichi hugging a Blahaj
Pridebert designed her
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just-someone-online · 2 years
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Rescue Bot Elita AU
Okay, so I’ve been thinking about my RB Elita AU and how to explain it. I was going to make this big timeline of events, but A), I really don’t want to do something that big and B) Even if I did, there’s a lot I don’t have worked out yet.
So I figured ‘Hey, why not start with Elita herself?’ So this is just a scattered list of information that I have about her so far.
- Elita actually doesn’t become Elita until the war breaks out. For most of her career as a rescue bot, she’s known as Ariel.
- She kind of pulls from TFA Elita and Optimus. She’s teal and yellow (Again, until the war breaks out), she can temporarily copy abilities, and she loses a teammate on Archa Seven.
- Ariel was inspired to become a rescue bot when she was young (I’d put her at nine or ten if she were human. Just a little younger than the Rescue Bot Recruits). After cutting class to hang out with Swerve at Maccadam’s (even if he wouldn’t give her any high grade), a fight broke out and the bar was set alight.
- In all the commotion, The front of the building collapses before Ariel can reach the exit. Luckily, she was rescued by Chromia and her teammates, Moonracer and Firestar.
- Ariel would eventually join the academy and meet her future teammates: The excitable Inferno (Fire Specialist and future wrecker), the cynical Thunderblast (Sea specialist and future Decepticon), the quiet and humble Triage (Team medic), and the clumsy but well intentioned Mortar (Engineer and future corpse)/ Together, they were Rescue Force Omega-85.
- She was trained in search and rescue, but her copying ability allowed her to help out in just about any kind of rescue.
- The rescue bots usually weren’t called when collapses happened, but Ariel and her team were always there when someone called.
- While Ariel and Orion Pax courted, they never made the decision to become conjunx endura. After the exodus, a part of them regretted not doing so.
- After Archa Seven, Ariel would quit active duty and become a teacher at the academy. In fact, she was one the teachers for Rescue Force Sigma-17.
- She was also the last bot to see them before they went missing. Even after she meets them on Earth, she wishes she had either gone with them or stopped them from leaving.
- When Ariel joined the Autobots, she took on a new name and color as a way of leaving her past behind.
- While Elita proved to be a prolific warrior, she spent a lot of the war rescuing Autobots trapped on enemy line and neutral bots caught in the crossfire
- Elita became a legend among the Autobots after she beat the shit out of Starscream using one of his own soldiers as a club.
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