#that never even checked ziam proofs

[ziamminds]

.

[ziamhaze]

My Future in Fic

Yeah, so, the 100k fic that I’ve been working on for the past six months?  The one that was going to be uploaded to AO3 last week?  Yeah, it’s accidentally getting published...

Where do I start?

I suppose with a massive thank you to anyone who’s clicked on any of my fics over these past two years.  I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again.  I never ever thought about writing as a career.  I’ve never written anything prior to my Harry Potter AU Compartment 451.  I didn’t even take an English class in undergrad or grad school.  I genuinely just had an idea for a fic I wanted to read and since no one had written it, I had to do so myself.  Since then, I’ve written every single day for 2 years.  I left my job in the entertainment industry, got accepted to one of the best creative writing programs in the world on a scholarship, and now one of my stories is being considered at Harper Collins.  Yes, the Harper Collins.  It’s the longest shot in the world, but for legal reasons I was not allowed to upload the fic version on any website prior to submission.  Even if they don’t pick it up, I’ve been advised to continue to shop it around to agents.

What I can do, however, is share the premise.

If you’ve been following my tumblr and watching my tags - I SEE YOU ALL OUT THERE - then you’ll know that this fic was meant to have Zayn with his signature undercut hairstyle and one more little thing...

Someone sent me an ask a while back about what this fic was supposed to be about.  I believe I said something about it being an adaptation fic, but not from a film/tv show/other piece of literature, from a song.  This next fic was meant to be an adaptation of the song Younger by Ruel.  Later on, it also took shape with the help of Remember by Liam and a few others that you can find here.

The miniature summary is as follows:

When his father suddenly passes, twenty-nine-year-old Liam Payne is brought back to the Sydney suburbs where he grew up.  He doesn’t plan on seeing his childhood best friend, Zayn Malik, at the burial service.  They haven’t spoken since going from brothers to strangers one fateful day fifteen years prior.  But Zayn puts an end to this when he approaches Liam after the burial, offering his condolences and asking if Liam can help his archaeological research team with photographing their newest project.  The unexpected closeness forces each man to wade through uneasy emotions.  For Liam, a mixture of grief, lost identity, and confusion over why he’s willing to interact with the one person he swore he’d never forgive.  And for Zayn, a tidal wave of anxiety that comes from finally facing a part of himself he’s always chosen to deny.  When We Were Younger is a story heavily rooted in blurred identities and exploring what loss can look like in two different scenarios: death and friendship.

For obvious reasons, their names will be changed.  Liam, to Hutton.  Zayn, to Cairo (his ethnicity will also be changed to Egyptian).  As you can see, it was meant to be my big ‘enemies to lovers’ fic.  Technically, it’s ‘best friends to enemies to lovers’, but you know.

Right, so what does this mean for me going forward?

I still have so much inspiration when it comes to writing Zayn and Liam as characters.  I don’t plan on putting a complete stop to writing them, but with my career taking this large of a turn, I do have to prioritise my time.  That said, as of now, I can’t afford to write long-form fic any longer.

Soon, I’ll be starting a PhD program where I’ll be writing another full-length novel for mass publication.  For fun, here’s a little insight on the two ideas that I’ll be pitching:

1.  Underground boxer (loosely based off Liam) falls in love with arms gang leader (loosely based off Zayn).  Throughout their love story, the latter has to outrun the psychological trauma his father (the leader of Zayn’s rival gang) still throws his way. 

2.  Cold War AU.  Paris, circa 1950/51.  Ambassador’s son (loosely based off Liam) befriends new student (loosely based off Zayn) at the international school.  Paris is a ticking time bomb; war is about to break out at literally any second.  The two clearly have feelings for each other, but can’t act on them because homosexuality in the 1950s...yikes.  When war does break out, the two are separated, and as Liam’s character goes out to find Zayn’s, he learns a secret of his that changes everything.

Whichever I don’t write for the PhD will be the novel I write following it.

In the meantime, I’m going to continue to write (and edit) like crazy.  Ever since I randomly wrote C451, there hasn't been a day that’s gone by where I haven't written something.  It may have only been a paragraph or two, but never zero.  This is how you get better.  This is the equivalent of going out and shooting free throws for 30 minutes a day.  You have to put in the work in order to get better.  I'm very lucky that I'm incredibly self-disciplined and I've been able to crank out as many stories as I have over the past 2 years.

That said, I’ll be writing shorter little oneshots.  I have several ideas that I’ve been sitting on, but haven’t ever thought to write because I HATE writing short stories.  Little ideas that don't have huge plotline/climax potential, but that I want to just see on paper, I'll probably end up writing.  If I had to guess, I'd say they'll come out to around 10-15k.  Also, sequels?  Prequels?  Haha, you never know...

I’ve also got a series called “Sleep Drabbles” that are, yes, you guessed it, a series of drabbles based around one theme: sleep.  I also have a few scenes that I want to write which are based on ziam’s kids, not actually ziam themselves.  If there’s enough demand for that, I can upload those too, but they’re quite niche, so I don’t think the general fandom would be very interested.

As far as frequency for all of this, I have no idea.  I’ve always done things at my own pace and written stories that I want to write, for myself.  That won’t ever change, so I don’t want to commit to one drabble a week or one short-length fic per month.  It takes me weeks (months for this last fic) to research and interview the necessary people to get character arcs correct/believable.  I love that part of writing, and so if I have a little story that I want to write that may only be 10k but takes me ages to put together how I want, then so be it.  I will always be around to answer asks/messages and please, continue to tag me in your writing tag posts!  But please, no prompts.

So, that’s my future with fic.

Again, I cannot say thank you enough to every single one of you.  Every single thing that people tag me in (@malik-payne , @zqua1d , @zentiment , @liamisthesun , @redyellowberry I’m looking at you), I appreciate and love!  The recommendation lists that people have put me on, THANK YOU!  It’s wild to think that I used to look to rec lists for years and now I’m on them.  @ziamfanfiction THANK YOU for always having my back with exposure!  @paynefulperiods , my beloved beta reader, THANK YOU for always encouraging me and putting up with shit first drafts.  @march-z5 , THANK YOU for always being on call for ideas and listening to me bang my head against the wall at 4 am.

Now, might fuck around and make a fake picspam for the fic that never was...

Also, all of the behind scenes pages for each of my fics are now public, so feel free to check those out here.

I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for making this journey possible. I know people say that a lot when they gain a following of any sort, but I truly truly mean it.  You have to have talent in order to be an author, but you also have to have people who want to read your stuff.  Proof of concept is a real thing.

So thank you a million times over.

Speak soon my friends.

[insomniziam]

Okay I'm ready. I'm the anon from yesterday who lost a whole ass rant. I'm ready to do it again(I'm typing this is the notes app first!!)

So I follow quite few Larry blogs that I love and respect cause they never give any shit about the stunts and defend Harry and louis so fiercely. I really like them for that. But lately they've been getting anon asks about ziam and idk why would people do that?? Like we'd make it very clear if we are ziams. Super crystal clear cause there are few of us(compared to the whole of directioner fandom). Honestly these blogs replied quite civilly like "I don't have any opinion about ziam cause I don't follow them closely" and such which is mature and good. But sometimes after numerous asks things do get heated and they let slip a sentence or two that really hurts. Like someone said the name ziammies is a fucking joke and I know we don't like it either and we'd prefer ziams. But it is so much more different when someone who doesn't believe zayn and Liam say that. And someone else listed all the things that make people believe in Larry and told that for ziam they only know about Zayn posting a selfie with a filter and both of them going blonde after a breakup(?)

It hurts my heart cause there's so much more than that. The casual soft reverent touches. Sharing orange eye ring that Zayn recreated in his like I would mv. Wearing brands that are associated with each other. Zayn fucking tatooing Liam's single cover waaaay before it got announced. Zayn literally having Liam's name and face tatooed on him. The almost kisses. The definite kiss on that dark stage that louis had to transform into on-the-spot cuddle. Eyebrow slits even after all these years. Family's support of the other boys. How they almost let it slip that they got a dog together in 1D day. One missing feather in zayns wing that is conveniently tattooed in Liam's arm with the words I figured it out curling around it. Which are the words to the song you & i which is point blank ziam anthem. It was the only song confirmed by Liam to be played before he let other 1D songs to be chosen by fans to be played at his online gig.

I don't need anyone to validate the "realness" of ziam. They are screaming enough. I'm hearing enough. But I can't tell all these to those blogs cause that bridge is burned and any talk about ziam is soured.

And I can't help but notice this. This is not comparing. I'm a larrie and a ziam. More people recognise Louis' babygate cause it happened with a nobody and people were screaming about his closet. Zayn's happened with a well known model who has a fanbase of her own so she can get away with not showing the baby's face(she "accidentally" revealed it anyway). Jungle family has only he-looks-like-louis-card so they overuse it. Posting baby's pics with ads? Check on both sides. Family members using the baby to promote their life? Check on both sides. Supposed baby mamas posting pics of the baby which gets far more likes than their regular posts? Check on both sides. Zayn likes louis' father announcement post(he rarely likes the boys' pics) and 4 years later louis goes out of his way to like zayns father announcement pic when zouis has never interacted once in those 4 years and there's beef between them?? And that's normal? That's not louis hinting at something amiss with the baby?? That's not enough proof to know that this is babygate 3.0? Liam's is more of a backburner babygate but it's still there. Like he has a baby with reclusive Cheryl and conveniently has one shit Polaroid pic and then bam. She just posts the baby's voice and stuff and that's done?? The common thing btw Liam and Zayn is that they know shit about babies. Liam telling his son can talk good when he was one??? Zayn telling it's really easy to be with a newborn baby?? Sure Jan. This irks me really. Anyway this is my loong looooong rant and I hope this finds you safe :)

Again, I'm so sorry this took me so long to respond to!

I share all of your frustrations, but you can't help people that don't want it, unfortunately, but at least then it's no longer your problem!

Just know that you're not crazy for holding differing beliefs, and you have a legitimate reason to do so. You'll learn that there's no point in having these discussions with people who don't want to listen, and save your time for things you actually love to do!

Again, so sorry this took me so long, I hope you're safe as well! Feel free to come back at anytime 😘

[bciwasinlove]

Hi. I have not been on twitter or even in the fandom long enough so i came here to ask you about something. What's with the song claiming thing? Suddenly ziams are claiming songs that have been claimed as larry song. No I'm not gate keeping. Pardon my word choice.I'm not English. But I'm just curious. As long as i have been in this fandom, no control was a larry song the moment it came out and everyone was ok with it and even ziams never claimed it before.now suddenly they are like oh liam also wrote it? Home has always been larry song considering the timeline, him leaking and all, ziams never claimed it before, now suddenly home is a ziam song too? 18 was taken as a larry song from the moment ed said it was written from 1D perspective and everyone was ok with it considering how Louis used to literally serenade Harry like turning his whole body,changing pronouns etc. No one had a problem untill now. Suddenly in 2020/21 ziams are claiming it. Why didn’t they do it before? Why now? I'm just curious.

Warning selfies have been a thing with Louis for years. Now suddenly it is linked with liam too? How? Did he do it before or something? I genuinely don't know. So let me know plz.

The whole devlin thing, devlin album came out in 2017 i guess and they comparing Louis tweet with zayn tweeting that is from 2016. How does that make sense?

Also some people say larry closeting didn’t work but ziam did...awful thing to say. If it didn’t work then there wouldn’t be so many antis and they are still going through so much. People wouldn’t believe Harry dates every woman that breaths around him. And they claim there are two bbg in ziam relationship right? Why did they need two bbg if it worked? I mean if the closeting worked? Bbg has nothing to do with relationships.

Idk if ziam was real or not but I'm sure gigi was pregnant, she had that symptoms, pregnancy glow,tired face and all. Now whoever the father may be..idk.

I'm not convinced about ziam and how does that make me hypocrite? Also there are some "if this counts(larry),this counts too(ziam)" thread. what's with the comparison?

Sorry about the rant.

Hello anon wow this is long a lot to unpack so I'll start with your song questions.

Idk why ziammies are suddenly trying to claim songs that have ALWAYS been larry related. Especially when Liam said in an interview that Louis and him were a song writing duo for 1D BUT that he wrote the melodies and it was Louis who wrote the song lyrics. Last I checked melodies don't equal meaning of a song so how are these songs about ziam?

Some examples of this....

They are trying to claim Home but Liam said the song was personal to Louis and how when he read the lyrics he didn't want to change them. Home is also a direct response to If I Could Fly with ONLY Harry on the credits. Home was leaked by Louis the night of Belfest when Larry found out BG was being taken pasted the birth of a kid and it pissed off Louis so he leaked Home as payback bc it was clearly a loud song management didn't want on the album.

They are trying to claim 18 but the song was written by Ed who said [compared to other 1D songs he wrote for them] he wrote 18 with a 1D member in mind. [That is why we claim the song at all.] Ed was closeted in the band to Harry next being Louis and Niall he was the least closeted to Zayn and Liam. Side note Ed has a song called Friends that he said was about 2 friends of his who fell in love and when a fan yelled L&H he laughed/smirked and said init so it makes the most sense 18 was written with Harry in mind. Plus 18 is about meeting/loving someone sense they were 18 and it was only Louis who was 18 when they all met and it was Harry who would scream NO 16 when singing the song. Also larry changed the lyrics to HIM and would stare directly at each other when singing 18 livem According to ziam MPs ziam weren't a couple until at least 2 years into the band so why would 18 make sense for them also given they were both 17 when they met & none ever went NO 17 when singing it.

They are trying to claim No Control but that song as we know is about the morning after sex and the second round they end up having. Like stated before Louis wrote the lyrics to 1D songs and Niall plus Larry always made it DAMN CLEAR what that song was about. Also remember when Harry would always jam out hard core when Louis would sing his part in No Control aka majority of the song. Yeah that song is Louis song no doubt.

They try to claim Alive which makes no sense bc Zayn nor Liam is on the credits at all only Louis. They say it's bc Liam said he related to the song ok I see that but still he didn't write it and still how does this song equate to ziam? Alive is more a song used as proof Louis isn't straight bc it's about self exceptance of who you are even tho others around you for along time made u feel there is something wrong with you. It's about Louis who is more confident part way through the story being told and then helping his lover [who seems to be a bit insecure about themselves] except and love who they are. Since Liam didn't write on it the relationship aspect couldn't be about him and Zayn. Since he said he just relates to Alive at BEST it could mean he might not be straight but it can't be used as proof of who his partner is when he didn't write on it.

There's others but I think you get the point they have always been larry or hinting at Louis sexuality songs so I don't get why or how they are suddenly saying their ziam songs? Myself @lovemylarents and @fearlessmoon09 think bored people in quarantine is what happened to change the landscape.

To your next question warning selfies...

So warning selfies was something Louis did everytime something BG stunt related was going to happen. He started it and did it a ton back in 2016/17 when BG stunting was massive for him. Liam never had anything to do with warning selfies and Louis warning selfies were ALWAYS like I said BG related so suddenly ziammies going Liam does warning selfies for things involving Maya or Gigi makes no sense. It was ALWAYS a Louis thing.

For the Devlin thing...

You hit the nail on the coffin with that one the album with the song Cold Blooded that had the lyrics "so is it true XXXX fathered a baby? I don't really think so, if you ask me he don't like ladies. Could have been HARRY, yeah, I bet it was HARRY" [emphasis on Harry bc I saw a ziammie change the lyrics to Liam] came out in 2017 while Zayns tweet was done in 2016. Unlike Louis tweet which was specifically about this album not just the artist and tweeted during the height of BG stunting. So not the best comparison. They really should fact check before making these "larries are hypocrites" threads bc veteran larries know and fact check everything.

Next thing you mentioned what I call their slogan "larries closeting didn't work but ziams did that is why less talk about/believe in ziam then larry" piss me off so much and what you said it right. If larry's closeting didn't work then we wouldn't be here complaing about how the GP sees Harry as a queerbaiting womanizer, how solo henries who want to have sex and suck Harry's dick exist and how some locals don't want to join Louis fandom bc they think Louis and his fans are homophobic or that twarries exist thinking Louis is a deadbeat dad. Tell me again ziammies how their closeting didn't work? It is so invalidating to everything larry has been put through. Also if larry's closeting didn't work but ziams did then why did they need 2 BGs for Ziam and only one for Larry? Myself @kaybutlarry @babyhoney-28 and @onlythebravestan are still waiting on an answer to that question haven't gotten one.

As you said about Gigi yes she definitely looked more pregnant then Briana ever did. The reason I don't believe in their BG with Gigi is bc their story is inconsistenent. Side note back when Liam had a kid no one besides a few on tumblr ever said it was BG 2.0 they didn't start saying BG 2&3 until Gigi happened. Back to inconsistenences so their original story when we first learned Gigi was pregnant was it's fake just like Briana there's no kid, then when Gigi did the livesteam showing she had a bump and a round face you get when pregnant the story changed to she's pregnant the kid is just not Zayn's.

Then I recently saw some who [after the kid was born] went back to the story the kid is fake there is no kid OR they are using a child actor. Unlike Louis BG they don't have a consistent story that makes sense. Also the kids are never shown unlike with Louis kid F gets posted every damn day with creepy and bad photoshop, and a million articles about how he is Louis twin to shove it down our throats the kid is Louis. The situations have NEVER been the same with Louis vs even just Liam kid.

To your last point ziammies keep calling and making threads about how larries are hypocrites bc we don't believe what they do which is damn annoying bc they constantly say just leave us alone why do you care we exist but then constantly make threads like that getting mad we aren't all ziammies. If your going to make threads against us then yeah were going to say something and respond to your threads the way we would to a debunking larry anti thread. Their threads like that are either using funny coincidences of larry that we don't use as concrete proof to compare to ziam OR their ziam version of our proof has been debunked already like the Ziam Levine Stylinson sticker on the bears. [If you want more info on that ask @lovemylarents.]

They constantly take what is a larry proof and say it's also about ziam [Example the songs] or have a ziam proof that mirrors a larry proof. [Example the devlin thing or selfies] In their threads they always compare miniscule larry things that aren't our MAIN proof. See the miniscule proofs are the house and the big proofs are the concrete foundation that without it those miniscule things would not be able to really count as proof of larry and the larry house would fall. Ziammies ONLY have miniscule proof not a very solid foundation so I'm unsure how long their house will last.

I have been in this fandom for 10 years I have seen MANY ships come and go [Examples: Ziam, Ziall and Narry] but the one ship that has always been here was Larry. Larries have been here for 10 years, Larries are the ones who are talked about in the media, Larries are the ones constsntly gaslighted, Larry is the one ship that needs to be denied a bunch [poorly might I add] there's NEVER been any other ship or ship group people have hated, gone against or talked about this much besides Larries/Larry.

Funny [not for us] but funny that Liam goes through all the trouble of gaslighting Larries and talking about EVERY Louis stunt but he never mentioned Ziam which is a ship that actually involves him or the Ziammies who say Bear isn't his kid. Why did he talk about US and not THEM which involve him? Also funny Liam can easily say the word Ziam but Louis can't pronounce an EASY @ just bc it has the word Eroda in it.

My mutrals and I all agreed we didn't give af that ziammies existed until they kept talking shit about how we aren't ziams to and then go why are larries acting like antis hating us. First off it was NEVER larries hating on them it was toxic solo Zsquad and solo Liam stans who were. We didn't get involved until the entire tl was LARRIES ARE HATING US AND BEING HYPOCRITES. Second off and my last thought it's easy if you don't want us in your replies then don't make threads about us being hypocrites and use easily debunked ziam proof or miniscule larry proof to mirror bc we will point it out bc you think were hypocrites thank you.

[lovlieziam]

Oooh can I ask for #27 and obviously Ziam 😄

You absolutely may :) I also feel it’s appropriate to let you know that I had a vision for how this one would turn out in my head. This story isn’t it so do with that what you may lo

27. “I’m pregnant.”

“Liam?” Zayn murmured, letting his head drop against the bathroom door with a soft thump. Zayn had been hesitant to approach Liam, especially considering how upset the boy was right now.

“I’m fine, Zayn. You don’t have to check up on me,” came Liam’s muffled reply. And maybe Zayn didn’t have to check up on Liam, but he wanted to. Liam had been weird lately—closed off from Zayn in a way he had never been. It made Zayn think that he was the reason for Liam’s bad mood, and Zayn couldn’t deal with that.

“Maybe not,” Zayn said. “But I want to.” Zayn waited a beat with no response before saying, “C’mon, Li. You know I won’t go away until you at least let me in. Are you really going to make me start being a brat so early in the night?”

There was a long moment of silence following Zayn’s words, and Zayn was just gearing up to start annoying Liam when the door swung open, causing Zayn to stumble forward a little. Liam was stood in the doorway, an annoyed, but still fond look gracing his features.

“You’re already a brat. I don’t know what you mean by ‘start’.”

Zayn grinned, shoving Liam back into the room before closing the door behind him. “Alright,” he started. “Spill. What’s up? Why have we locked ourselves in the bathroom?”

Liam rolled his eyes as he sad down on the closed toilet lid. “We haven’t locked ourselves in anywhere. I locked myself in the bathroom and you annoyed your way in.”

Zayn grinned, throwing a shrug Liam’s way before he moved into a crouch by Liam’s knees.

“Seriously, though, Li. What’s up? You’ve been, um, rather…emotional lately.” Zayn winced after the words left his mouth. He’d wanted to be delicate when talking to Liam—the boy had been emotional recently; there were some days where Zayn was pretty sure he’d gotten whip lash from Liam’s mood swings—but based on the glare Liam was throwing his way, Zayn definitely could’ve chosen his words better. “I-I just mean, not that you’ve been moody! Because that isn’t what I meant, like, at all! I was just saying that you’ve seemed, I don’t know? Upset, I guess? And I just wanted you to know that I was here, if you wanted talk about anything, y’know? Because I can tell you’ve been upset the last couple of weeks.”

Zayn took a breath, also taking that moment to take in Liam’s expression. He had an eyebrow lifted, looking at Zayn with a slight curve to his lips that wasn’t necessarily a smile, but also wasn’t not a smile. Zayn got the distinct impression that he was being made fun of for his rambling.

“I’m not upset, Zayn.” Zayn nodded at Liam’s words, his mind already starting up a rambling, incoherent thought process.

“Okay, so maybe upset isn’t the right word. But you haven’t been happy, have you? I mean, you haven’t been not happy this whole time, obviously, there’s been happy moments. I’m not trying to saying you’ve been in a permanent bad mood, just like more so recently then before. Not that you’re not, y’know, entitled to be in a bad mood every once in a while! Because you totally are! It’s just, I was kind of hoping you’d maybe…tell me why you’ve been so…hormonal?” As soon as the words left his mouth, Zayn regretted them. Had he just called Liam hormonal? Out loud? What was wrong with him?

Liam’s eyebrows shot up, surprise—and, Zayn hoped, a hint of amusement?—quickly covering his features. Zayn was so caught up in his own misery—seriously, why had he said that?—that he didn’t noticed the teasing glint twinkling in Liam’s eyes.

“Have you thought of the possibility that maybe…” Liam trailed off, making sure he was meeting Zayn’s eyes before he said, “I’m pregnant?”

Zayn barely even registered Liam’s words, too focused on trying to be understanding and forget about what he’d just said to properly think them through. “I wasn’t sure what was going on, Li. But if that’s what bothering you, that’s perfectly reasonable, and of course if you—”

“Zayn.”

“—wanna talk about it, I’m always here, okay? I mean I know you’re—”

“Zayn.”

“—used to dealing with things—wait,” Zayn cut himself off, Liam’s words from before finally registering. Zayn forced himself out of his own head, once again focusing on Liam and his words. “Pregnant?” And okay, so maybe it wasn’t quite as elegant and coherent as he would’ve liked, but his brain was still trying to switch from trying to be supportive to actually understanding what Liam was telling him. It was difficult, especially since he was starting to think he hadn’t been listening to Liam.

“Pregnant?” Zayn asked again. He felt it needed repeating because what? Liam was a guy, he couldn’t even get pregnant.

Zayn watched as Liam’s lips twitched upwards, obviously fighting off a smile that was so eager to take over his face. Zayn was still confused for all of five seconds until it finally hit him.

“You’re a dick,” Zayn gasped out, lunging forward to shove at Liam’s shoulder. Liam broke into a series of giggles, and despite Liam’s teasing, Zayn couldn’t help but feel a little relieved as a few of his own spilled past his lips. It felt like this was the first time he’d seen Liam laugh in weeks. That might have been a slight exaggeration, but, honestly, Liam really hadn’t been himself recently, and the fact that he turned to humor before actually admitting what was wrong was only further proof of this.

“Seriously, Li,” Zayn started, his voice soft but serious. The smile slowly dropped off Liam’s face at Zayn’s tone, and Zayn felt his own heart drop a little at the look now on Liam’s face. Liam did a good job of hiding his emotions, but even Zayn could see the resigned and slightly dejected look he couldn’t quite mask. Zayn soldiered on, anyway. He was tired of Liam pushing him away; he just wanted his friend back. “What’s been bothering you?”

Liam heaved out a sigh, running a hand over his face before roughly shoving it through his hair.

“I’m sorry, Zayn,” Liam whispered. “I tried really hard not to—tried to talk myself out of it so many fucking times, but…” Liam trailed off, squeezing his eyes shut before continuing. “But it’s really hard to control myself when it comes to you.”

Zayn made a soft noise in the back of his throat, his confusion only increasing at Liam’s explanation. Some how Zayn was the cause of Liam’s permanent bad mood, and that made an uncomfortable weight settle in the bottom of Zayn’s stomach.

“Li…what are you talking about?” Zayn tried to swallow around the lump that was quickly growing in his throat. Zayn wasn’t sure where this little heart to heart was heading, but his mind was setting off warning bells of bad bad bad. It wasn’t helping that the more he thought about Liam’s words—the more he tried to piece them together, connect them to Liam’s mood and his actions—the more confused he got.

Liam opened his eyes, meeting Zayn’s gaze head on, and the sadness in them almost bowled Zayn over.

Fuck, Zayn thought. It was the only word he could think of in that moment.

“I’m talking about falling in love with you, Z.” Liam gave a short, bitter laugh to match the sad twist of his mouth, and Zayn felt all the breath leave his lungs in one harsh exhale. “I’m talking about telling myself how fucking stupid it was to go and fall in love with my best friend, all the while knowing that he’d never love me back. I’m talking about not being able to stop my stupid fucking heart from stuttering in my chest every time you so much as look at me.” Liam took a deep, shuddering breath, lowering his eyes until he was staring at the floor next to Zayn’s knees. “I’m talking about trying desperately hard to try and control my feelings by pushing you away, hoping maybe that would make them…I don’t know. Not disappear, but maybe…lessen? Make them more manageable, at least. Manageable enough that I wouldn’t be overcome with an all-consuming want to kiss you every time you fucking laughed at one of my jokes.”

Liam let out another self-depreciating laugh, bringing both of his hands up to drop his face into. Zayn still couldn’t catch his damn breath. He felt like all the oxygen in the room was being sucked out, preventing him from just breathing. And, well, breathing was kinda something he needed to do.

“I’m sorry,” Liam croaked out, his voice impossibly heart broken and ashamed. Just like that, the oxygen seemed to slam back into Zayn’s lungs, and he inhaled a deep breath, his lungs burning as they expanded.

Liam loved him. Liam was in love with him. Zayn didn’t think he’d ever been happier in his life.

“Liam,” Zayn gasped, surging forward to close the space between them. “Li, sweetheart, look at me please.” He reached out, pulling Liam’s hands away from his face and tucking them between his own, intertwining their fingers in a way the was decidedly intimate.

Liam finally opened his eyes, staring at their joined hands for a moment before looking up into Zayn’s eyes. His expression was still shuttered, his eyes glassy with unshed tears. Zayn’s heart cracked at that expression.

“Li, baby, you’re so, so wrong.” Zayn unwound one of his hands, reaching up to brush the hair off of Liam’s forehead so he could see him better. “It wasn’t stupid to fall in love with me, just stupid to think that I’d never love you back. Because I do. Love you. So much it makes me stupid sometimes.”

It was Zayn’s turn to let out a small, self-depreciating laugh, and Liam’s to breathe out a long, shuddering breath. Liam’s hands tightened around Zayn’s, a disbelieving laugh escaping on his next exhale.

“You’re…you’re serious?” Liam asked.

“Completely, Li.” Zayn had barely gotten the words out before he had a lapful of a giddy, giggling Liam.

“Thank God.”

[bakagamieru]

Hi!!! I’m hoping you can help - do you know why Zayn left One Direction? He was partying with Louis on March 14 in Thailand and left the band on March the 25th. So what happened in those 9 days for him to leave? I just don’t get it!! TIA!!

Hello,

It wasn’t anything in those 9 days that made him leave.  In fact, I don’t think it was his idea to leave at all.

I have a masterpost outlining most of my speculation relating to this: http://bakagamieru.tumblr.com/post/120840259353/zayn-stunt-summary

Of course there are other fans/bloggers (known as Team Stunt mostly) that have speculated about this as well.

Disclaimers

Please bare with me here and read the whole post (and preferably the other posts in my masterpost) before writing this theory off.  I 100% believe that if anyone takes the time to look at the evidence, it will become obvious that something very fishy is going on.  It’s just logic.

If you’re not coming into this post with the knowledge of 1D’s adversarial relationship with their team or with the knowledge that there are closeted gay couples within the 1D band (Louis and Harry, Liam and Zayn), then you might want to check that out first.  There are good resources out there for all of it.  I have some of it linked on my “ziam resources” and “larry resources” tags or on my Projects and Posts and Tags and Links pages.

It’s important to know what’s going on with these things and the history of 1D and their team because Zayn leaving being a stunt is a part of and a continuation of that.  

It might also help to check out who Zayn really is since a false and negative characterization of him has taken hold because of his public persona since his leaving.  I’ve got a few things linked on my summary masterpost.  Another tag on my blog to check out would be “pairing masterpost” (look for any including Zayn).  There’s also this post and this post and this post that show who Zayn is beyond the broody bad boy image he’s always been saddled with, extremely so in his solo career.  Myself, I think the lyrics from his solo albums, particularly Mind of Mine but also the Icarus part of Icarus Falls, shows who he is better than anything.  There’s no way to fake the gentleness and thoughtfulness inherent in the sentiments he chooses to express.  

Even if you know Zayn well already, it’s always good to revisit these because it can be hard to fully avoid the effects of being bombarded by everyone telling you he’s a selfish, erratic, rash, and disloyal person.  It’s good to be reminded of exactly how dorky, geeky, sweet, protective, thoughtful, intelligent, and caring he is.

Let’s Get Into It

The thing that made us start wondering about a stunt was the way Zayn left.  It doesn’t particularly make sense for a lot of reasons.

1) He had been more engaged than usual at the start of the OTRA tour, talking to fans on social media and practicing to get better at giving speeches on stage.  He was also just as affectionate with the other boys on stage as ever.

2) The reasons they gave for Zayn leaving were many and yet none of them ever made sense.  The WAY he left is also baffling.

Originally the implication was that Zayn left because he was caught “cheating again” on Perrie.  This is unlikely because 1) Zayn was never truly dating Perrie as it was a PR/bearding relationship (yes there is proof), and 2) Zayn and Perrie officially broke up that August anyway and if Zayn left for her, that would take away his reason for leaving and yet he didn’t return.  The same sort of theory popped up with the idea of Naughty Boy luring him away, but again, 1) Naughty Boy had been very pro-1D the year before, and 2) Zayn and Naughty Boy had a “falling out” and yet Zayn didn’t return to 1D.

They said anxiety immediately after he left, but then he started a solo career that’s bound to be more anxiety-inducing if someone has stage fright.  If the worst part of the job is dealing with people, then why would you get rid of the people who distracted most of the interviewer’s attention during interviews and the people who shared the stage with you?

They said he never liked being in the band, but if he likes the music/performing part (he ostensibly did because of going solo) and he likes the boys (there’s no real proof he doesn’t), that only leaves his management team to be causing the problem.  One Direction was just about to end their active contract with Syco/Modest, so why leave the band and risk penalties and censure instead of sticking it out until the end of the year?

Some said he left to go solo first and get the spotlight, but he didn’t actually release solo music until after the hiatus started, he risked a really negative public image by doing so, Simon Cowell had actually claimed the fall before that 1D members could do solo music while in the band, and he missed one of the concerts he’d been really looking forward to (Dubai) instead of at least waiting until the end of that tour leg when there would be a month-long break.  

Additionally, even though Zayn is supposed to be “free of Syco”, it’s pretty clear that his own team is sabotaging his solo career with a complete lack of promo and unnecessarily negative print interviews.  Zayn can’t be blamed for this because even if those things were his choice, they’re not going to earn money and his team has a vested interest in that and yet would apparently be doing nothing about it.  Going back to the theory that Zayn left because of not liking how Syco/Modest did things, clearly him going solo didn’t fix that problem whatsoever and Zayn is too smart to cut ties and burn bridges only to jump from one bad situation into another.

Some people say all of the above things were lies to cover the fact that Zayn and 1D just didn’t get along.  There’s no proof of this.  Like I said, he was just as affectionate with them leading up to his departure.  He was very complimentary of them right after he left, and then suddenly there were Twitter fights with Louis out of nowhere (very suspicious Twitter fights by the way), a supposed feud with Harry (that has only ever existed in the headlines as there is literally no proof other than “a source said”), and negative and then positive and then negative and then positive comments in print interviews despite this being very inconsistent with the official narrative of what’s happened.  Zayn has never from his own mouth said something vitriolic about the other boys.  In fact, the way he talks about them in his few radio/tv interviews is far more positive than his supposed words in print interviews (which can be manipulated very easily).

They claim that Zayn up and decided to leave and then caught a plane without anybody knowing and went back to the UK.  This is very unlikely considering all of the people around him that would notice like the bodyguards, etc.  Also, this assumes Zayn is the type of person who would make such a rash, snap decision.  They also announced him officially leaving not long after which begs the question, did Syco/Modest do nothing to try to persuade/coerce 1/5 of their biggest money-maker to at least finish the tour?

The way it was announced was quite odd, considering it was posted on Facebook of all places immediately after the end of a concert and sounded extremely impersonal like a PR person wrote it (which Zayn later confirmed).  The Mirror also reported on the announcement almost immediately which means they had to be tipped off because they wouldn’t have had time to find the announcement and create an article about it otherwise.

The other odd thing is that there were never any consequences for Zayn leaving.  He’s part of a huge money-making band and he broke a contract with his team, so you would assume that they would 1) sue him, 2) demand he pay the very high fee for getting out of the contract, or 3) drop him from the label/management agency and make sure no one else will work with him in the industry.  None of these things happened.  There’s obviously been no suit as it would have made news.  There was no payoff because Zayn’s net worth never changed in such a dramatic way.  Originally the story was that Syco ONLY let Zayn leave if he signed to them for his solo career, but then Syco claimed to have dropped Zayn BECAUSE he left, but then Syco was still listed on his first solo release (which is sketchy in and of itself).

And let’s talk about the timing once more because there’s a little more to it.  He left 7 shows before the end of the Asia/Africa leg of OTRA.  This meant that he missed the Dubai show which was in an area of the world where he was very popular, where he has cultural ties, and where he had explicitly said he was excited to perform.  That leg was the last leg before a planned 1-month tour break, which would have been a much more logical time to leave, break it to the fans, deal with the paperwork, etc.  That tour was also the last tour before the hiatus.  No, it wasn’t announced until later, but it’s very unlikely it wasn’t planned before that.  Even the fans kind of assumed there would be some sort of break after the album since as far as anyone could guess, that was going to be the end of the Syco/Modest contract time period.  

If Zayn couldn’t stand the band or wanted to go solo or couldn’t stand his management team, there was an obvious out coming up that would have been way less complicated and would have had way fewer potential negative consequences.  For any reason but anxiety (which is eliminated because of the baffling solo career decision), it doesn’t make sense for him to leave instead of waiting out the year.  

There are any number of oddities about the way he left and the given reasons for him leaving.  No matter what theory you look at, it isn’t consistent with logic OR with Zayn’s character and past actions.

So these things were why some of us were suspicious from the start and paid close attention as the events unfolded.  As we did, we just caught more and more inconsistencies and suspicious things.

3) Finally, I need to point out one massive area of evidence about Zayn’s leaving being a (particularly long-lived [although only a couple months longer than babygate]) stunt.  The shade.

The 1D boys have a long history of throwing shade that contradicts the official narrative, thus cluing fans in that some lie is being told.  There’s hella shade around Zayn’s leaving from both him and from the other boys.

The masterpost I linked at the top contains several posts about this, so I’m not going to rehash that here.  However, I will briefly go into what I think is the most compelling evidence that Zayn was actually planned to return to the band in August 2015.

The reason I find this particular shade so compelling is because it’s actually a pattern of shade, and not only is it a pattern of shade, it’s actually 5 overlapping and coordinated patterns of shade.  

The basic idea is that Zayn was scheduled to return on August 5th, around July 26th the boys learned that the return was delayed, the 2nd scheduled return was probably August 18th, and then that return was also delayed/cancelled.

First is Niall’s all-black pattern.  Niall had never worn an all-black outfit on stage before and he’d never repeated the same outfit more than 2 times in a row during a tour, but starting from the concert before Zayn left, he wore all black for 8 shows in a row until the end of that tour leg.  He stopped for the European leg and some of the NA leg.  Then, 8 shows before the August 5th show, Niall starting wearing all black again, like a bookend.  He didn’t make it to 8 shows consecutively because plans got changed, but he did continue wearing some amount of black at almost every show until the end of a tour in an organized pattern.

Second is Rainbow Bondage Bear’s (“RBB”) stickers.  In mid to late August, people started associating the recurring blue and green stickers on RBB with Louis and Harry because of their blue and green mic grips.  In fact, there were orange and yellow stickers (Niall and Zayn) before that, and a red sticker (Liam) showed up after that at strategic times.  The interesting thing is, Zayn’s yellow sticker was up for exactly 8 shows, ending on, you guessed it, August 5th.

Third is the Batman references.  With Liam taking the lead, the references to Batman skyrocketed in August.  Participants included Liam, some of the musical band members, Naughty Boy, and Zayn (yes, both sides participated).  Three particularly compelling references when put together are 1) the bat symbol that was put on the big screen at the 1D concert in Kansas City after the show (the bat signal traditionally calls Batman to come to it), 2) Zayn posting a fanart of his own name in the bat symbol (indicating himself as Batman), and 3) Naughty Boy posting a quote from Batman about the darkest moment being just before the dawn, which he posted with the hashtag “comesoon” (indicating a positive change coming soon).  All together, it’s hard not to read them as a sign that Zayn was supposed to return to the 1D stage soon.  Incidentally, RBB wore a Batman costume on, yes, August 5th.

Fourth is the 5th of the month pattern.  On the 5th of the month, from June 2015 to September 2015, something Ziam-related always happened with the exception of August 5th.  On June 5th Liam wore a ring (unusual for him at the time) in concert.  Surrounding circumstances point to it being Zayn-related.  On July 5th there was a video taken of Liam singing and coming out of the shower where surrounding circumstances point towards Zayn being the one filming.  On September 5th, Zayn and Liam started posting Instagram pictures that seemed to mirror each other or hint at Ziam in some way.  On August 4th, the Zerrie break up was announced, but on August 5th there was nothing in particular.  However, there would have been if that had been the first concert Zayn returned.

Fifth and final is related to the in-ears the boys wear on stage (and specifically to the 2nd return date this time, August 18th).  Oddly enough, the boys seem to change their in-ears in overly patterned ways and although I can’t identify what exactly they’re marking all the time, some of the ones I can link match up to Zayn’s leaving and potential return.  Liam wore a different set of in-ears for the last 5 concerts of the Asia/Africa leg of OTRA, starting on the Jakarta concert which was the first after Zayn’s official leaving announcement was made.  Later, starting on the Winnipeg show on July 24, the first show after Niall’s all-black bookend was disrupted (indicating Zayn’s return date was probably in flux at that point), Niall wore different in-ears for 3 shows.  Then Niall switched back to his regular and Liam picked up the pattern seamlessly by wearing different in-ears for 3 shows and 1 TV performance.  There are 2 possible ways this pattern could have ended that would make sense.  1) Liam could have counted the TV performance, worn in-ears for 1 more show and that would have completed Liam’s bookend of 5 different in-ears ending the show before Zayn’s (2nd scheduled) return on August 18th.  This would have resulted in a total of 8 performances with different in-ears counting both Liam and Niall and both concerts and TV performances, which partially (it doesn’t end on the concert Zayn would return)matches Niall’s bookend pattern.  2) Liam could have not counted the TV performance (the in-ears are almost exclusively a concert pattern) and worn in-ears for 2 more concerts, resulting in 8 total different in-ear shows ending on Zayn’s 2nd return date, completing Niall’s bookend pattern.  This would also mean Liam wore his in-ears for 5 performances, partially matching his bookend pattern (but not ending before the concert Zayn would return).  Again, I think the pattern was disrupted because Zayn’s return was again delayed (indefinitely as it turns out).

All of these patterns are explained in more detail (and with visuals because heaven knows it’s just a lot of dates and numbers without seeing it) in posts that are linked to my masterpost.  

There are also several other surrounding events that seem to confirm Zayn’s delayed returns such as:

the Zerrie break up;

an aborted Zayn-Naughty Boy fight;

the advent of positive 1D-Zayn relations leading up to August and then negative press resuming around August 17th;

a few things that might match up relating to Niall’s Where We Goin’ Today Mark video shade pattern; and 

the release of Drag Me Down which seems to have possibly been moved up by a week or so, indicating it originally might have been an OT5 song meant to be released around Zayn’s return.

To me, the fact that these patterns were so obviously deliberate (they’re way too organized not to be) and that they all overlap and point to the same dates, along with the fact that people from both camps participated in the Batman pattern, points to a definite return plan that was positively anticipated by both the boys and Zayn.

If I were to ever wonder if maybe Zayn really didn’t want to return even if leaving wasn’t his idea in the first place, this is what makes me positive that he did.  

If I ever wonder if maybe there was a falling out with Zayn and the boys after he left, even if he didn’t want to leave to start with, the shade from both sides makes it obvious to me that there never was any real bad blood.  If they all go to the trouble to contradict the official story, then clearly the official story must be a lie and the boys must all be on the same page.

Conclusion

I know this is a long post, but this is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the sketchiness around Zayn leaving.  

Unfortunately, I haven’t followed through on organizing all the evidence like I had planned to at one point, but I think the masterpost I put together does cover a lot even if it’s a bit repetitive with some posts and a bit disorganized.

If anyone has questions that aren’t already covered in the masterpost, go ahead and send me an ask.

[yaz-the-spaz]

Your best Ziam proof? Like, the one where you just "oh my god". That one.

i mean i’m terrible at picking one thing ever anyway but even so with ziam it’s not even really one thing, it’s a collection of things but i’ll just list the biggest ones for me personally…

first off never have i ever: looked at my friends this way

(or this way or this way….i mean…😅)

and of course we have The Continued Saga of the eyebrow slits, shared clothes, jewelry (and the fact that liam can’t ever shut up about zayn lol) which are some very interesting “coincidences” given the public narrative that they “don’t talk” and “aren’t even friends” anymore lol

there’s also liam’s reaction to zayn’s engagement, which was just…not normal at all (tbh none of the boys reactions to that whole shitshow were normal imo in the same way that they weren’t normal for the initial babygate 1.0 or 2.0 announcements but that’s a topic for another time), and also just their reactions in general to any mention of each other’s “girlfriends” were very not normal for two people who are “just friends” (plus recent notable events–e.g. liam literally hiding from/avoiding perrie at two global awards shows in as many years and the inzayn account that may or may not be personally related to zayn re-posting an old pic of zayn in his “cool kids don’t dance” shirt [old shade against danielle for anyone who doesn’t know] on the same day that danielle and perrie practically almost soft outed ziam–show there’s still hostility there between ziam and each other’s exes which again is also super weird if they were always only ever “just friends” lol)

let’s not forget the ton of mags and news outlets that legit called them out for being in fake pr relationships when it came to z*gi and ch*am which is extra funny cause everyone knows pr relationships are a huge thing and a very common thing in the celeb world and the tabloids usually play along but the fact that they didn’t this time and so many even had the gall to blatantly call them out like this and highlight the relationships for the farces they were will never not be funny to me and it’s not really “proof” but i’m including it here anyway cause reasons

then there’s aunt zileh and just zayn’s family in general (his sisters and even cousins) being so obvious about their disdain for the pr relationships and so extra in their support for ziam lol (i mean it’s either that or they’re just randomly deciding to be super disrespectful to zayn and his supposed beloved girlfriends multiple times over the years so ???¿¿¿)

but also, all jokes aside, this was one of the biggest things for me because why, as a relative of a very public figure who is surely aware that thousands of people are paying attention to your online activity, would you like stuff–some of which is very overtly sexual in nature–hinting at your relative being in a romantic relationship with his bandmate? and not just once but a bunch of times over a period of 3+ years? idk about you but if a relative of mine suddenly got famous and i knew they weren’t queer and that people were paying to attention to what i did on social media you would NOT catch me online liking a bunch of posts featuring them kissing/laying in bed/being in any way sexual with a same-sex friend of theirs or liking posts talking about them being gay and/or married to said same-sex friend while shitting on their real relationship so the fact that it happened at all and kept happening for so long and zayn wasn’t like um hey…hey aunt….hey sis…hey cousins…could you maybe…like…stop, you’re doing some really weird shit online and it’s making me super uncomfortable and also it’s super respectful to me and [insert gf of the time’s name here] but instead he just…let it go on…for so long…and not only that but even liked and shared ziam stuff and followed ziam accounts himself (along with liam) should be hella suss to literally everyone (and while we’re on the topic one random ass denial that was probably not even made by the cousin in question but more likely a smm on her account, is not gonna change all those facts lol)

but anyway enough of my side note ramblings, those are the biggest things for me, but for more smack-you-in-the-face kind of evidence for what solidifies it for me check my ziam proof and ziam evidence tags and also my general ziam tag cause let’s be real these hoes drop enough hints by their damn selves lmao

[liamsmile]

hello there! i’ve been a larrie for quite a while, and i’ve always loved seeing ziam moments or side ziam in fics etc, but i never thought they were /actually/ together. they always acted really cute together and i loved their friendship but honestly thought it was nothing more. recently though i’ve been thinking maybe they did used to be something? i was wondering if you had any masterposts of ziam proof/moments you recommend for beginners cause i really want to look deeper into all this now

Okay, so firstly, I wanna apologise like a million times because this ask dropped into my inbox literally two weeks ago and I was on holiday so I haven’t had the chance to answer.

Secondly, (and yes I’m rambling unnecessarily as usual), I’m so glad you're a larrie because that way I know you’re not homophobic; you’re fair game, which means I’m sure you can be convinced.

Now, buckle up, because there is a fuckton of proof and an amazing network of intelligent and dedicated ziams which just means there is a lot, and I mean a lot of amazing ziam proof master posts out there.

Ok first, the-bread-and-butter-must-see-fundamental-building-blocks of the ziam proof are the incredible I Like Your Skirt Mary Videos:

Part 1

Part 2 

Part 3 

Part 4 

Part 5 

Part 6A 

Part 6B

Part 6C

Part 6D 

Side chapter 

Yeah I know there are a lot but I can guarantee they are quality videos, and they’ve converted loads of people so yeah. Also they’re very helpfully arranged chronologically so its useful and easy to follow and you get a sense of the timeline. (Also the side chapter is on jealousy and its amazing, one of my favs.)

Okay secondly, this is another amazing one and its even better if you’re a Larry:

Why Larry’s Closeting Didn’t Work (and Ziam’s Did)

As the title suggests, this one by @deathwish-koala (I hope she doesn’t mind me mentioning it and tagging her) talks about the difference between the couples and about why Larry is so much more widely accepted and believed than Ziam.

These are great to start you out, but @ziamxo (I love you sasha) helpfully reminded me that @buzzcutliam (I hope she doesn’t mind me mentioning it and tagging her either) made an absolutely amazing and thorough ziam proof masterpost, which I can’t even begin to describe how great it is, like it literally has everything. So, I’d definitely check this one out as well. 

Hope this helps anon. :) If you wanna scream about ziam after you’ve been convinced, feel free to come here.

[yaz-the-spaz]

Let’s play a game called looking at things objectively (and not with 1D/Ziam/Larry goggles on)

I get that a lot of people are angry at/resentful of the beards and a lot of the time I am too but it's important to remember that Perrie's story is very different from most of the other beards, who came into things most likely of their own accord and on their own terms, and not as young and naive teenagers forced into signing a contract by the same shitty manipulative people from the same shitty manipulative tv show preying on desperate kids that 1D was

Just for fun let’s go through all the big things that people in this fandom criticize Perrie for (putting the rest under the jump cause this got hella long):

#1) She’s “extra” and an attention whore

Reminder: Perrie was under the same contract with Modest/Syco the entire time she and Zayn were together and therefore obligated (just like Zayn was) to participate in stunts

Said stunts were NOT her idea; she was  repeatedly photoshopped and also directed and told where to stand and how to look, etc. for photo-ops just like Zayn was (This Is Us premiere video anyone?)

There’s this persistent idea within the fandom that she was complicit in stunts just because she appeared to be more willing/like she was putting in more of an effort than Zayn. I want to stress that appearing more believable doesn’t mean that she was more willing - just because someone seems to be playing along well doesn't mean they're a willing participant. I think a lot of this type of thinking stems from people directing their misguided anger over the situation at her (as opposed to at Syco/mgmt where it should be) - again I wanna stress this was a situation that she had no more control over than Zayn did. Just because she was better at selling it than Zayn sometimes doesn’t mean she necessarily liked it anymore than he did

I also want to point out that she had her share of times where it was clear she was putting on a fake smile and/or wasn’t interested/happy which people often miss because they’re not as familiar with Perrie or her expressions as they are with Zayn’s, or they just don’t bother to look into it at all

For example let’s compare these smiles here with these smiles here which to me look pretty forced (interestingly enough these are some of the few that Zayn actually looks quite convincing in lol)

There’s also this idea that she started out less than enthused/willing about the the situation but became more complicit in it with time, which again I think stems from the same thinking as above with the misguiding anger/blame. But based on what I’ve seen I would argue that she was no more willing at the end of it than she was in the beginning either

If you look at videos of her talking about the engagement she honestly seemed just as apathetic and 100% done as Zayn did most of the time when she answered and even more recently both she and the other girls consistently tried to swerve on the Zerrie break-up questions whenever they were brought up (also wanna point out how she looks pretty much the exact opposite of broken up over the end of her relationship in that second vid lmao). That's not the behavior of someone who's all of a sudden willing to participate. The only difference is it just doesn't get highlighted because a lot of the fandom doesn't pay attention to her since they see her as the villain (and feel the need to demonize her just for being involved even though it wasn’t her choice)

For example in this video she seems extremely sarcastic and apathetic almost the entire time she’s talking about the "wedding” - not at all the attitude you’d expect from a supposedly excited bride-to-be

And then there’s this gem where again she seems super apathetic while immediately shutting down any questions about it and interestingly the interviewer seems to imply the topic might have even gotten blacklisted (I wonder why? Could it be because mgmt knew she wasn’t “selling it” very well either???)

#2) She uses Zayn’s fame to her advantage

Reminder: Perrie was subject to the same manipulative bullshit the boys of 1D were, she was coached on what to say and how to say it to push a certain image and angle (and also just as likely as the boys to have had her words twisted and taken out of context)

Bringing up Zayn in an interview is not reflective of Perrie using his fame to her advantage (as a lot of people on here like to argue), that is her team/mgmt forcing her to say certain things (sometimes even in a certain way) that they can then use to their advantage while simultaneously creating a certain image of her in people's minds (for example, as the innocent victim [previous years] or the bitter ex who can't let go [more recently])

Sound familiar? That’s because it’s a tried and true PR tactic and an especially tried and true Modest/Syco tactic. We’ve seen it happen with the boys over and over again yet with Perrie it gets dismissed as her “looking for attention” or “using his fame for her own advantage” as opposed to her being told/made to say these things to push the official narrative, which is what it actually is

#3) She’s racist (and dumb)

This is probably the main/biggest reason a lot of people have for hating her and on the surface it’s understandable but let’s break down the evidence shall we?

Most people cite the time she called Zayn and his family Indian in this totally verifiable and trustworthy magazine (can you hear me rolling my eyes?)

First off one of the biggest things we always reiterate in this fandom is DO NOT TRUST PRINT VERSIONS OF THE BOYS. So why then would we accept something that “print” Perrie has said in one random print interview as 100% Bonafide Certifiable Truth™??? Four words: Confirmation Bias and Double Standards. Perrie, as far as I know, has never referred to Zayn or his family as Indian in any other video interviews, performances, or on social media (or even in any other print interview for that matter). It was literally just the one time and on some shady ass news site no less - which leads me to believe that either the “interviewer” fucked up or someone in mgmt fucked up as far as coming up with a decent quote - and people jumped all over it because it confirmed what they wanted to believe, that Perrie is somehow the Devil Incarnate™ for being involved in something she again had no choice over and most likely didn’t even say out of her own mouth

As for the cultural appropriation allegations, I wanna make it clear I don’t condone that shit and as far as this whole post goes I do want to point out that I am a POC and the absolute last person to defend white people when it comes to their racist shit (check my #racism, #black lives matter, and #black excellence tags if you don’t believe me) so don’t even try to come at me with any “stop defending the racist little white girl” bs 

However, I do want to point how fishy it is that even after being called out for cultural appropriation multiple times her team continues to style her (clothes, hair, make-up) in traditional non-white styles (dread locks, indian and native american-like make-up and clothes, etc.) for promo and music videos knowing full-well, I’m sure, the reaction it’s going to provoke, which is why I think it’s important to bring up something we saw with 1D

Remember how they planned out down to the exact colors how each boy would be dressed to push a certain image? There’s no doubt in my mind that there’s a similar theme at play here 

Her team knows it will rile people up and get their attention on Perrie and LM and as the saying goes “no press is bad press” which by extension makes me suspect of the culturally appropriating things she’s done outside of music-related events, on social media for example. Were they really her idea/something she did on her own and decided to post or were they stunts used to push a larger narrative of Perrie as the “dumb racist blonde?” We’ll probably never know but given how we’ve seen seen clothing styles and especially social media posts being used to push official narratives (like Liam and Louis being homophobic) in the past, I have to admit I’m skeptical of it being all on her, especially considering the fact that I’ve never seen/heard her say anything racist out of her own mouth (although feel free to correct me if there’s proof otherwise) and that if she did I have a feeling Leigh or Jade would likely immediately call her out on it. And as we’ve learned with the boys when projected images of a person don’t match up with the things they actually do and say in real life that’s when thing start to get sketchy

In conclusion I think it’s time we stop acting like Perrie and LM haven’t had to deal with some of the same shit as 1D over the years

 All ll I’m doing is taking the same exact logic we’ve used in analyzing the boys and the shit we’ve seen happen to them and applying it to Perrie and LM who, having been under the same mgmt and label, were and still are subject to much of the same bs