#that shitty anon from yesterday is still on my mind

[sportsthoughts]

.

[homeofthelonelywriter]

Thai

(A/N) Here you go, Anon! Sorry it took so long, but I hope you like it!

Pairing: Chishiya x Reader (no Y/N)

Warning: flashbacks to the Borderland, fluff, talk of injuries and almost dying

Synopsis: based on this request

“Hey, hey! What do you think you’re doing?”

You cursed under your breath as you heard your boyfriend’s voice, accompanied by hurried footsteps from behind you. Your mind was racing, trying to think of an excuse, but nothing came to you in time. So when Chishiya reached you and grabbed the box you were carrying, all you could do was stand there with an awkward smile on your face.

“You know the doctor said not to lift anything for another few weeks.”

You rolled your eyes at his concern, although you couldn’t help but smile at him. Ever since you escaped from the Borderland, he had been fussing over you. Understandable if you consider that you had almost died at the end. If Arisu and Usagi had taken just a few minutes longer, you would’ve surely bled out. And the fact that Chishiya had been holding you through it all, unable to do anything to save you, didn’t make it better.

So now that you’d been released from the hospital, a few weeks after all your friends were allowed to leave, Chishiya was like a hawk, monitoring your every move. And you just wanted to help. Ever since you had decided to move in together, on day two in the hospital, you tried to convince him that it wasn’t that bad and that you could help. But the only thing he allowed you to do was unpack the boxes and decorate, and even with that little labor, he still forced you into breaks every few minutes.

You sighed as you followed him through the apartment, now empty-handed. He placed the box on the table in the kitchen and turned to you, reaching out and pulling you against him.

“I just want you to get better quickly, you know that right?”

You sighed again and leaned against his chest. Of course, you knew but it felt shitty that he was doing all the heavy lifting, literally, while you just stood to the side and watched. But instead of saying anything, you just cuddled against him and closed your eyes, flashbacks of the events in Borderland immediately appearing. You jumped as you heard what you thought was a gunshot. Chishiya tightened his hold around you.

“It was just a car, don’t worry.”

You nodded and slowly let go of your boyfriend, a tired smile on your lips.

“I’ll go unpack then.”

You were about to leave when Chishiya stopped you by grabbing onto your hand and pulling you back into his arms. His lips quickly connected to yours, his hands settling on your waist. As he pulled away from the short kiss, his nose nuzzling against yours.

“How about we take a break? Grab some food?”

You smiled.

“Thai?”

Chishiya pulled away, a playful frown on his face.

“We had Thai yesterday. And the day before.”

You chuckled and grabbed his hand, interlacing your fingers.

“Not my fault they have the best food.”

A chuckle escaped your lips as Chishiya started to explain how Ramen was superior to Thai. But you just pulled him out the door while listening, starting on the way to the Thai place you loved, while Chishiya was too lost in the discussion. He would only notice where you were leading him when you arrived. Or at least that’s what you thought. In truth, Chishiya could barely hide his own smile as he watched you lead him away from the apartment complex, thinking you had won. He’d let you believe that you had bested him as long as it made you happy. And hey, Thai isn’t that bad.

Please consider reblogging and following me! It helps a lot!

Alice in Borderland - Masterlist

Master-Masterlist

[skittlesfics]

name: and if we should see the stars...

pairing: Eddie Munson x AFAB!Reader

word count: 2175

summary: Eddie shows you the stars

content/warnings: mutual pining, sexual tension, fingering, friends to lovers, Eddie calls reader princess and baby, reader has a vagina

author's note: SO I started writing this a week or two ago, and my entire plot bears some striking similarities to one scene from @upsidedownwithsteve's Camp AU Eddie fic that was posted yesterday. I honestly considered not posting at all because anons love drama where there is none, but honestly I worked really hard on this one and I'm happy with how it came out. Go read that fic right now if you haven't, it's absolutely stunning and gorgeous in every way and deserves all of your attention.

-

There was love, and then there was whatever this was: sitting in the back of Eddie’s van drinking shitty beers with the back doors wide open and the radio turned down low. It was something sweeter, something unspoken that you could keep wholly to yourself.

He was so casual with his touches, one arm thrown around your shoulder, leaning in close to try and match your perspective. The chain he wore around his wrist was cold against your neck, but you were running so hot with him this close that it was a balm against the burn of him.

“D’you see that one princess?” He was pointing, but your gaze didn’t make it past his hand. The pretty calloused fingers, the rings shining on his knuckles, the flaked polish on his nails where he’s chewed and picked at them since the last time you painted them for him.

“Mmhmm.” You lied anyway. Who could look at the stars when the sun was this close? He burned so bright, so bright, you didn’t know how to look away. You didn’t want to know how.

“I’m pretty sure that’s Orion’s belt.” He traced the stars like he could touch them. You thought they’d move for him, if he wanted them to. Eddie was special that way.

“Just his belt?” You were barely aware of what you were asking. You just wanted for him to keep talking in that excited timbre. He was so pretty when he got passionate about something.

“The rest of him is there too, if you look. It’s a little harder, but if you lean this way…” He trailed off, shifting to make room for you to see and then frowning when you didn’t manage to get quite where he wanted you. He huffed. “C’mere.”

That’s all the warning you got before he propped his beer against a threadbare blanket and hauled you between his legs like it was the most natural thing in the world. For Eddie, maybe it was. For you? You were already burning for him, and the press of his chest against your back set you ablaze.

If he noticed your pulse quicken as he slid on arm around your waist, leaning forward to rest his chin on your shoulder, he didn’t say anything.

“So those three are the belt.” He pointed to the same spot again. His voice reverberated through your body, that close, and it was unfair of him to expect you to do anything other than listen.

“The bright ones?” It was a strain, but you did your best to find them in the wide expanse of the sky. He was right to move you. It was easier to find them, even though your mind was hardly on the task.

“That’s it, princess. So, if you draw two lines down to that star and that star, that makes his legs.”

You tried and failed to visualize it. Instead, your brain stuttered and got stuck on how different it sounded when Eddie called you princess while you were sitting in between his legs, with the warm press of his thighs boxing you in, with his mouth right next to your ear. You had to shut down the thoughts that followed, particularly the ones that started with his hand that was still resting casually on your waist, two fingers just skimming the exposed skin where your shirt had ridden up.

“A-and the rest of him?” Your voice shook as Eddie’s hand on your waist shifted, his fingers brushing more solidly against your exposed skin, raising gooseflesh in their wake.

If he noticed what he was doing, he was playing it cool. Cooler than you, at least, as he gestured again with his free hand, tracing a few more stars that you could barely separate from the tapestry of the night sky.

“That’s his body. He doesn’t really have a head.” He explained it like your mind could be on the stars when he was tracing constellations into your skin, never one to be still. You wanted to protest, to tell him how unfair it was to expect you to learn when he was touching you; when he was so close that your whole world was leather and smoke and Impulse deodorant that shouldn’t smell good on him but did anyway.

You tried desperately to think of a question to keep the conversation. It needed to be something clever, that would turn the focus away from the way you press your thighs together for friction.  Eddie spoke first, however, his voice low and teasing in your ear.

“You’re not even listening, Princess.” He laughed, the sound so full and dark that it made you shiver. There’s no hiding that when he had you pulled against him bodily, his fingers dipping more brazenly into the waistband of your skirt.

“’s not true!” You protested, “I just can’t see them the way you can.”

Eddie couldn’t care less if you could make out the constellation or not. He was playing a game of chicken against himself, tracing the waistband of your skirt and then dipping one finger down, then two, drawing a loopy pattern that was barely straddling the line between casual and what he actually wanted.

Your breath was coming out shallow, and that bolstered him on. He found a sensitive spot on your hip and you hissed so pretty, leaning back into him. He pulled back, afraid he’d gone too far. There was a balance to this, to the way he had you squirming in his lap, eyes glassy and lips parted. Balance be damned, he wanted more. He dipped his thumb into your skirt, brushing that sensitive spot again.

“Eddie.” The way you breathed out his name went straight to his cock. Selfishly, he wanted to keep you like this forever. Hanging in the balance, flushed cheeks and clenched thighs, almost fucked out with barely a touch in the back of your friend’s van. He wanted this just for himself. Wanted you.

“Fuuuck, princess.” Is all he could manage for a moment. His pointing hand comes down to grab your hip, holding you still so you didn’t squirm too far back and end things before they’ve started.

There was an order these things were supposed to be done in. A conversation, a confession, maybe a kiss. You skipped all of these and took Eddie’s hand, pulling it down to the hemline of your skirt and letting it rest on your thigh.

He almost couldn’t believe you were real. Somewhere, he stopped thinking.

“Been thinking about these thighs all night.” He admitted, his lips back at your ear. You didn’t care what he was saying. You couldn’t care when his fingers were trailing up your thigh, taking their sweet fucking time. “So fucking cute with these thigh-highs, got me fantasizing about bending you over the back seat.”

You could barely keep your eyes open, rolling your hips into his touch when he finally brushed the soft cotton of your panties. It was the faintest touch: a test, a request, an acknowledgement. You needed more.

“Eddie, please.”

He fell quiet as he slid his hand into your panties, watching you with rapt attention like he was afraid you would change your mind. You almost found yourself embarrassed at the damp fabric until he was hissing in your ear, his middle finger sliding across your slick folds.

“Shit.” He buried his face in your neck again, rocking his hips against your ass, “So fucking wet for me, baby.” And that was a new one, baby, but you couldn’t unpack that when his fingers were exploring you, looking for what made you feel the best.

His bracelet was cold against your belly as he let his arm rest on your front, his fingers finding your clit. You were already keyed up from being so close for so long, it didn’t take much to turn you into putty in his hands. You were all heavy breathing and soft whimpers, half lidded eyes and parted lips.

Eddie thought he might be in heaven with the way you melted into his arms. He was careful with you, worried he would scare you away with the strength of his desire, and so he made this about you. Your body was soft and warm against his, and when he slid a single finger inside of you, he started to think he wasn’t going to make it.

You tossed your head back against his shoulder, his name falling from your lips in a tone he never could have made up in his fantasies. Eddie was talking, but he wasn’t even sure if the words had any meaning anymore. He could only think about the way you moan for him as he slowly pumped his finger in and out, his thumb rubbing a gentle circle on your clit as he tested what you liked.

“You moan so pretty for me, baby. Fuck. Wanna make you feel so good.”

The second finger was where you started to slip. His fingers made you feel so full, you couldn’t help but clench around them and the sensation had him moaning into your ear. He rutted into you shamelessly, the denim of his jeans rough through the thin fabric of your skirt. Your toes curled as you started to feel the coil of tension building in your core and you reached out to grab a blanket, his knee, anything to keep you grounded as you felt your control slackening.

“Fuck, Eds, so close, I’m- fuck.” The litany of curses that fell from your lips were like music to Eddie. He peppered kisses to your neck as you rocked on his fingers. Your world narrowed to several points; There was just you and Eddie, his fingers buried in your cunt, curling to find your g-spot, his cock hard against your ass, his lips on your neck, his voice in your ear making your head spin with sweet nonsense, and then you were falling apart. Your body curled in on itself as you clenched around Eddie’s fingers, your hands wrapping around his wrist to slow the onslaught of sensation as he rocked you through it.

When he pulled his hand away, you were breathless and flushed, so pretty with the exertion of your orgasm. Eddie knows that he is well and truly fucked. There was no coming back from this, and if there was, Eddie knew he wouldn’t want to. Not when he knew the way you keened when his fingers found just the right pressure on your clit, not when he knew how wet and hot and tight you would feel, not when you were looking at him like he hung the moon.

“Was that okay?” He checked on you immediately, shifting you in his lap for a better look at your face. You laughed at his worry, still high from pleasure and sensation and him. When you reached up to cup his face, he leaned desperately into the touch, eyes closing instinctively. He was warm and so close and so pretty.

“More than okay, Eds. That was… Fuck. That was so good. Can I--? Do you need--?” You trailed off, embarrassed as Eddie opened his eyes, his gaze dark and intense. He watched you for a moment, calculating, and then he kissed you. Someone needed to set this right, after all, and it was clear it wouldn’t be you.

His lips were as soft as you always imagined they would be. The kiss was sweet, but too short. It was a question, a declaration, and an indulgence all at once. He pulled away to look at you, and then he was leaning in again, gathering you up in both arms so that he could kiss you breathless.

“’m okay, princess.” He said finally, when he thought he was done kissing you. You pouted, though, and then he was kissing you again, peppering them across your face like he’d wanted to do for months.

You curled into his chest, wrinkling your nose when he wiped his hand on the blanket on the floor of his van.

“Maybe, uh… Maybe we can do this again? In a real bed. After, uh, a real date?” Eddie was shy, suddenly, unsure despite the evidence of your affection still sticky on his fingers and his blanket. You would have laughed if your heart didn’t swell so suddenly with affection that you thought you might cry.

“You’re telling me this wasn’t a date, Munson?” You teased, reaching up to kiss him again, just because you could. He went willingly, smiling against your lips. “Got all pretty for you and everything.”

“A second date, then.” Eddie corrected.

“A second date.” You agreed.

He held you as the two of you lapsed into a comfortable silence. His eyes were on you, your eyes were on the stars. And maybe it was love after all, something you could share, just the two of you.

You couldn’t find Orion on your own, so you just found your own patterns in the sky.

[chloeangelic]

Why does it seem like everything you've put out lately is just trying to rip off netherfeildren? Like the art, the plots, the aesthetics... Especially weird since you used to seem to always hype them up

I went back and forth on responding to this but I’ve decided to because I don’t appreciate having my integrity questioned. I kind of expected that I'd get something like this because there are some thematic similarities between Seeking and SWITBOSH. However, I won’t respond publicly to anything else like this cause I think we’re all very over The Discourse, and tbh it’s a massive fucking insult to accuse me of ripping someone off when I’ve spent seven months writing ca 200k words of fic and developing my own unique style of writing. If you can’t see the difference between two writers, just because they write emotional depth and full sentences, then please read an actual book and not just brainrot fic. I’m gonna properly address everything under the cut - anon domming is back on the menu today. 

That being said, because this feels weird and uncomfortable for me and likely for Vic, I’m turning off anons for the time being and I’m taking a posting break to decide whether I want to continue posting here at all or continue posting purely on AO3. I post there anyways under the same name. If you still have a bone to pick with me or my writing, please message me directly. Please do NOT pester Vic about this, I know very well that she does not enjoy The Discourse or any sort of drama. Everyone is sick of the copying discourse - please have some trust in writers’ self awareness. 

Firstly, the words “recently” and “plots” should be defined here - I personally don’t see how stepdaddy Joel, pornstar Tim, sex addict Dieter, baby daddy Javi or any of Love Me back is similar to her works at all. The Seeking teaser I posted yesterday was similar to her Pink teasers purely because it had text on a photo - my text wasn’t even from the fic, it was a quote that represented the series as a whole and the quote that finally made the series crystallize in my head. It’s the quote I want people to have in the back of their mind when they go into reading it - it’s from the song that I consider the series theme. Our formatting is not the same. Yes, I have quotes at the beginning of the chapters - my friend sent me a bunch of poems and a couple, I felt were relevant to the story so I wanted to add them somehow. Several writers do this. I stopped putting in previews above the cut cause it was making it difficult for me to write the beginning of the chapters. My masterlist art is the same as, like.. Everyone’s else’s masterlist post - the norm on here is to have an artwork from Pinterest, the title slapped on top and the writer’s name. I literally just loved Pascalisbaby’s masterlist art so much I decided to do it too. 

When you say plots, I’m assuming you’re drawing parallels between Seeking what is desirable and Someone’s Wife in the Boat of Someone’s Husband because cheater!Joel (or maybe even Pink cause DDLG, but I’m literally in a DDLG-type dynamic irl and I decided to incorporate it into a fic for once - there were CLEAR ddlg undertones in Love Me Back, it just wasn’t explicit. I also wrote several chapters of Seeking before Pink even came out, and I wrote a cheating + father in law oneshot this summer). 

The MC in Seeking is based on myself and my own life, moving away from my parents in order to live with my boyfriend at the time very far away, who ended up being extremely absent and shitty. MC+Jeremiah relationship is based on Adam and Hermine from EXIT, Jeremiah is based on Tony Soprano, Gwen is based on Janice Soprano + a story I heard from my cousin about how his wife let him do all the childcare while she went on a women’s retreat. They are not in a marriage of convenience, the MC doesn’t feel bad about the affair at all, she never pushes him away, and Gwen has no plans on leaving. Sarah and Ellie are both 16 and living with Joel in Seeking. The MC does not have similarities to Sarah like she does in Love Me Back (which was also literally based on my own life) or Someone’s.

MC is a teacher who cheats with Joel - so is the MC in my post outbreak series I wrote many months ago. They're drawn to each other immediately cause I hate slow burn fics and I didn't feel like writing two chapters of him fucking someone else this time around. She goes out intending to cheat, and he thinks it'll sustain him for the next several years. The first thing I thought up in this entire series was Jeremiah - I had his character crystallized in my head for weeks before I planned anything else.

Of course Joel is unhappy in his marriage - neither Vic or myself would write a Joel who cheats for fun, that’s just not something either of us finds interesting. It actually started as a Sopranos AU, but I decided against going that route cause I don’t know enough about white collar crime. Also, if you are familiar with my writing you’ll know I love writing infidelity - it shouldn’t be a surprise that I’m writing a series with this as the central theme. The central question for Seeking is when is it okay to cheat? That’s what the entire fic is about. It’s not about him finding the love of his life after marrying someone else (like the summary of Someone’s), it’s about two instances of cheating and how we justify those two scenarios. Of course it has a happy ending - I’ve used up my non-happy ending quota for the year. 

I’m not sure what you mean by aesthetics - Vic actually edits really nice graphics for all of her Mando chapters. She spends a bunch of time on those, and you’re doing a disservice to her by overlooking how unique her artwork is and how much effort it takes. She also made really cool teasers for Pink. I’m way too lazy for any of that, I just slam a moodboard together. I started doing 3 slot moodboards cause the 6-7 slot ones were a hassle. The fact that only art pieces are used in this series is half coincidence, half me being sick of trying to fit Pedro pics into the moodboards when the colors are often wrong. 

I literally texted with her when I planned this series, saying I was afraid people would accuse it of being a ripoff of Someone’s, purely due to the Joel infidelity + uninterested wife factor, and she did not think the overall plot was similar enough to be of concern. I still hype her up, she just doesn’t post as often now so I don’t reblog as often, that’s pretty simple. I’ve also asked Iris, my editor, SEVERAL TIMES if it reads too similar to Someone’s or anything Vic has written - she is extremely familiar with both of our works and she did not think so. What exactly am I supposed to do when I’ve gotten the green light from everyone? 

This specific anon didn’t mention the actual writing, though, which is funny and it makes sense because I don’t write like Vic and I don’t try to. Her vocabulary is way larger than mine, the diction and syntax are not similar at all. She actually uses metaphors, I use them very rarely and only when it’s super dramatic. My writing isn’t poetic, it’s not flowery, it’s not formal - it’s literally just how I think inside my own head. When I read my own writing, I imagine Charles Gross doing a dramatic reading. I learn like one new word every month and eventually I’ll add it to my writing when it’s something I’m confident using irl. She has a lot of depth to her fics, I also try to write with emotional depth - I’m sorry if that’s unfamiliar in a landscape of dbf porn with no plot and 5 word sentences (I’m shading my own first series here). Seeking reads more similar to the first series I ever wrote, which I never posted, than anything else I’ve written. Half of Seeking is also straight up daydreaming sequences cause that’s literally how I think - the MC lives a boring life and daydreams, so do I. 

I’ve learned a ton from reading Vic’s stuff - I don’t read that much irl cause I rarely find English novels captivating, but her writing has really made an impression on me. I talk constantly about how much her writing makes me cry, and it really does. Reading her stuff has absolutely influenced me to be more confident about weaving in actions and little plot points that are more vulnerable and personal to myself, and that adds a lot of depth it otherwise wouldn’t. I’m very inspired by her, of course I am - but I know the difference between being inspired and trying to leech. 

I’m sorry my writing style has developed. I’m sorry I no longer write like I did in April, with matter-of-factly short sentences and little emotional depth. I have short series and long series because some plots deserve more emotional depth and some don’t need it. I wouldn’t bother writing anymore if all I did was shady lawyer Joel or Father Joel and I never improved. 

If you don’t enjoy my writing, please just unfollow. I’ve seen other fics on this platform that read similar to mine, some that have exactly the same plot points/origin stories, and at no point have I thought they were ripping me off. At some point, this specific fandom needs to realize that it’s possible for two writers to have similar ideas without it being one person copying the other. My personal opinion is that if you copy someone’s plot, you won’t be able to execute it well because you don’t have the ideas necessary to actually flesh it out. If you’re familiar with my writing, you know damn well I’m capable of coming up with my own ideas and plots. I feel zero need to rip other people's in order to gain traction - I have enough followers and idgaf how many notes anything gets. Please don’t overestimate my ability to give a fuck about my popularity in this fandom. 

Anyways, thanks for making me want to vomit, anon, you truly made me feel like shit today and I hope you have a great night! I’m not sure how much I’ll be checking tumblr for a while so feel free to message me on discord under the same name.

[carpedzem]

As a college American, I can say that the behavior of Caiti's friends doesn't surprise me. In fairness, I'm not a party person so I can't say what typical behavior at a party would be, but just interacting with other people my age, there is very much a "keep to yourself and mind your own business at all costs" sort of culture. Things like having codes for being uncomfortable in public is not something that I've ever discussed with anyone, though I know I'm going to make sure that changes sometime soon. Yesterday I had a good conversation with irl friends about communication that was inspired from this situation, so I guess some good things have come from it.

But for whatever reason, where I live at least, there is an extreme emphasis on not causing a scene and not bothering anyone. Which means that if someone is in obvious distress, they'll likely go ignored. Maybe I'm getting off topic here, but this seems somewhat related, there's a huge emphasis on only having your family to rely on, which seems to be at the expense of the expectation of being able to rely on the community. America and it's hyperfocus on independence I guess. Idk if I've explained this well or if this is helpful to the conversation at all. But it doesn't surprise me that Caiti's friends weren't looking out for her at all because that isn't often expected of people, even friends. It's still shitty, and I would definitely consider them shitty friends, but it doesn't surprise me that it happened if that makes sense.

HOOOLY SHIT im begging you to just talk with your friends to make sure you all are safe. like are you ware how much it takes off your shoulder? to know that theres someone for you in the crowd???? so you can relax during that that should be for the relax??????? like my jaw dropped at this whole as how do you live like that. what with people with tocix/dangerous familes? where are they supposed to go????

im so serious right now anon if you can answer me this question. whenever something bad happens in public or semi-public place, the crowd is second the most blamed party. its always person who did harm and then everyone who didnt react. and i thought thats universal?? are you saying its not????

[xplrvibes]

What were the key things you found interesting/ liked most in the podcast/interview from yesterday?

So, aside from the things I already covered in the previous asks from aussie anon (just search the "aussie anon" or "snc video review" tags on my blog if you want to read those!), here is what I found interesting/noteworthy during yesterday's podcast:

1, The anxiety discussion: I may have mentioned this earlier (I can't even remember anymore), but I found it interesting how they both found and bonded with each other because of their crippling insecurities, shyness, social awkwardness and anxiety, and yet they both experience/d that in such different ways, and have dealt with it in different ways as well.

I may have said this before as well, but to me, there is a difference between anxiety with a little a, and Anxiety with a big A - and these two are a great example of those differences and how they present themselves and are dealt with. (This is not an indictment for or against anyone suffering from either form, btw - I just think there are difference between the two different ways people can experience anxiety and how they are handled).

Sam has "little a" anxiety. His anxiety was situational, had a clear starting/trigger point, and could be mitigated by addressing the triggers. He had severe insecurity in himself and had a massive fear of public speaking and being noticed because of that; hence, the thought of being noticed or putting himself out there triggered anxiety in him. Once he gained the confidence he needed to put himself out there, he figured out the key to managing those anxious situations, and hasn't had many issues with it since.

Colby has "big A" Anxiety (and yes, I know Sam hastened to say "we haven't been diagnosed" and that's fine, but I'm still rolling with this cause as a person with the official big A Anxiety diagnosis and certificate, I recognize the signs). His Anxiety is chronic, probably chemical, and can present itself at any time, for any reason. There may be some clear triggers (I know he mentioned before that feeling trapped can trigger it), but just as often, he probably just wakes up anxious with no idea why. There's no clear start, and no clear ending to it. It just...is. Knowing is half the battle though, and once you recognize what is going on with your body and what the symptoms are, then yes - you can work with that to lessen the stranglehold it has on your daily life. It is a never-ending struggle, though, and he explained that pretty well (for what little he actually did spend explaining it).

2, Sam's dad being so business minded and smart that he could not only see that these two crazy kids had something going, but that he convinced them to start up their company while they were still in high school is wild. That man has the true gift of foresight lol.

Also, on the subject of parents: all this talk of Sam's dad being such a help to them, so supportive of them, and a hero of sorts to Sam...and all we get from Colby is "our families weren't always supportive." :/

3, The fact that as soon as they got away from Sam's dad's influence, they immediately got scammed into signing away all their adsense under a shitty 3 year deal is kind of funny, actually. I mean, it's sad that it happened, but another point there for our old pal Kirk Golbach, who never woulda let that shit fly, amirite?

Not to mention, this is probably part of the reason why they are so involved in the decision making in every aspect of their business even now and I understand that, having dealt with vendor contracts for a huge portion of my career even though I am emphatically NOT a lawyer. I can only trust myself to not scam myself...so I get it.

4, I think I mentioned this already, but the Sam Pepper Prank.

Look, I know that this fandom has a habit of woobifying Sam, and I know it stems from this. It does. Let's stop denying that this set the tone for how everyone views and treats Sam vs Colby, even to this day.

But the fact that people have gone so far with their delusional that Sam is this hapless little meow-meow and Colby is the dark brooding villain that they would rather believe an utterly ridiculous conspiracy that Sam would actually lie about his trauma o save the guy who happily traumatized him than believe that maybe Sam is not perfect and was just as willingly involved in this, has always frustrated the fuck out of me.

This man has stated multiple times over the years that he was in on it. Why would he lie? Huh? Tell me. It wouldn't have been to protect Colby, cause why would he do that? From things they've said in the past, they weren't getting along that well back then anyway, and their careers obviously hadn't yet taken off to the point where it would've been detrimental to them to split off. If anything, had he split off from Colby at that time, he probably would've fared better than Colby had (since sympathy would've been on his side) so...why?

Sam Golbach is not that altrustic. Nobody fucking is. Nobody. If my mother did something like that to me, I'd motherfuck her all over the internet. Forget a friend trying it.

So...he's explained his method acting at length and how far he went to make this happen, how into it he was, etc. SO CAN WE LET THIS ONE GO NOW?!?!?

5, I admit, I completely zoned out halfway through their quasi-philosophical discussion about the egg theory and whatever else. The religious talk was interesting, but the rest? it just reminded me too much of some of the most obnoxious stoners I ever knew. These are the people who I would avoid like the plague if I saw them pulling out a joint lol.

6, snc love to speak as though they are one person who just somehow got split in two, and that was on display in this podcast. "In our life," and "our dad told us we could have a gap year" are just two examples.

Drunk Colby described it best when he said, "We're going to say something...and it's going to come out of my mouth."

Indeed.

7, The business talk - really interesting to hear the way they operate in their business, and how they've managed to keep it running smoothly all these years when they are also best friends, roommates and basically all but married.

The fact that their finances are so intertwined that they basically have joint 401k's and investments is a little scary, so let's just hope they never have a Lennon/McCartney-esque falling out lol.

But yea, the fact that they don't do anything unless both are in agreement of it is pretty interesting, although the way they kind of skirted the question of "who plays more of a lead role and gets their way more often" has me concerned for Colby, cause we know it ain't him lol.

8, This is going to ruffle some feathers, but I just don't care to be nice about this topic anymore so I'm going to say it. If you think this will upset you, then you should probably just skip this part and go right to #9:

Sam gives me fucking anxiety.

There. I said it. That man feels like an energy drink to me (in a bad way). When he was talking about his obsession with productivity and how he felt like any time he wasn't working was time wasted, I could literally feel my throat closing up from the intense up-ness of that whole discussion and his whole demeanor during it.

I've been in the corporate game for most of my career. I do not like people obsessed with productivity to the point of burn out. Their vibes make me wildly uncomfortable.

Also, I'm sorry - kind of hypocritical how he can say all that while having hired himself some editors and leaving his 50/50 partner holding the whole bag there.

Ahem, anyway: even with all that, I find it interesting that he is fully aware this is an issue, and claims to have tried to solve it. I hope it sticks, cause if it doesn't, this man will have his first heart attack at 32. Calling it now.

Also, lol at Colby being like "Nah, I can chill all day and veg out knowing that I did my shit." GOOD FOR YOU, SIR. Guess who won't be having a heart attack at 32? The supposed lazy guy lol.

9, I found the way Colby talked about having kids to be very interesting, and again - another way in which I think he and Sam differ and yet somehow wind up meshing perfectly.

It seems, from what Colby has said, that he wants to have kids in his 30s and will see that as being his new passion/job in life, meaning the kids will come first and he will gladly walk away from the constant traveling to be a present dad.

Sam, meanwhile, didn't really say much on the topic of kids, but we all know thanks to recent events that he is not ready for any of that, and kind of sees settling down as sort of an end to his youth and fun.

And you know what this made me realize? And it's sad, but I think it's something Sam sees too, maybe.

I think Colby will be the one to pull the plug on the snc channel someday.

Now, I do not think these two will ever be able to function without living in each others' back pockets - but I think Colby is going to be the one to force them both into retirement from a frequent posting and traveling standpoint, and will probably be content to just live off of whatever other side businesses and streams of revenue they will have going for their brand by then. Sam, meanwhile, is probably not going to be able to handle it and will get into either directing or producing or something like that.

But their wives are going to have to learn how to be friends with one another, or shit's gonna be awkward when these two decide to buy houses next door to one another and connect them by a tunnel in the basement.

Anyway, that's it (I think). Overall, lots of info we already knew, but a lot of new info peppered in, and a really decent look into their dynamic and who they are as people. I kind of liked it!

Bonus Item (I lied when I said I was done lol): The whole "following fat people" thing.

Colby was right with what he said, he just said it in a way that was bound to get his dumb little ass in trouble lol.

But he wasn't wrong. Look at all the controversies that happen every single day on tiktok, and how quickly everyone moves past them as soon as a new controversy pops up. There is too much content out there, too much drama, and it all just overlaps one another. This would be maybe 2 days of backlash, tops (especially if they weren't well known).

I'm not saying its right or it's wrong to do it, but that really is the way the internet operates these days.

[ingravinoveritas]

Seems obvious but you can find something 'all too much' one day and be fine with it another. It's not 'disingenuous'. Its just how people work.

Feels kinda shitty you characterise it like that tbh. Like as someone with anxiety, I find your attitude really harmful (it's a very abliest notion that if you can do something sometimes you can always do it, if you say you can't, your lying'. As if you can't have different amounts of energy ar different times). Disappointed in you tbh

Hi, Anon. Thank you for writing in and sharing your thoughts.

I feel that there may have been a misunderstanding with what I was trying to convey, so I'd like to try and clear that up. My interpretation of Georgia saying "I find it all too much" was that she was somehow implying that she was too good for the red carpet/thought it was an elitist affair and wanted no part of it (again interesting, given that David did walk on the red carpet and looked really incredible and confident in that blue suit). The statement itself was very vague (and Georgia had every right to make it that way), but that also leaves it up for multiple types of interpretation. So for me, I was not at all looking at it as having to do with anxiety, as from my perspective, it had nothing to do with that.

With that said, I also fully acknowledge that I could be wrong. Being autistic myself and someone who had tremendous anxiety when I was younger, I know from firsthand experience what you've described, about finding something 'all too much' one day and fine another day. There are things that gave me enormous anxiety for years as a kid that I'm now more or less fine with (again, depending on the day/various circumstances).

And I know internalized ableism is a thing and something I have dealt with/continue to deal with as well, so I do apologize if what I wrote came across like that even remotely. I try very hard to articulate my thoughts as clearly as I can, so I am dismayed that this wasn't the case here, as that is not at all reflective of the attitude I actually have toward anxiety, nor would I ever think someone is lying if they say they can't do something.

Again, I think Georgia's vagueness in her statement combined with her overall weird vibe yesterday is what cause me to trip up, but I will certainly be more mindful of how I phrase things in the future. I'm still not convinced what she said had anything to do with anxiety, but I don't think we'll ever know for sure. I hope this helps to clear things up, though.

Thanks again for writing in, Anon, and letting me know how you felt.

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here friend and AO3 may be back up but that doesn't mean I'm done bitching. On my mind is Buck, and specifically has Buck had a arc/storyline that was actuallt complete since S3?? Like we got Abby leaving, Buck dealing with it and Maddie returning in S2, and his recovery/lawsuit arc in S3 with final closure in the whole Abby thing in the finale. But what has happened since then?? Sure we learned about his shitty parents at the start but thst didn't really get a resolution, just some

some vague promises about therapy and then nothing (compare to Eddie's parents where we got that convo with his Dad in S5 and see them in a better place in S6). Then there's the whole sort of dating thing which leads to his relationship with the reporter and continues to drag through S5 and just kind of ends because it has to, not because of any personal development. I guess we can throw the conflict with Chim in S5 which *checks notes* we never see resolved on screen and the cheating business which *checks notes* was never really addressed and mostly cut from 5b since it was so deservedly hated. And now we have S6 and the sperm donor nonsense which, as discussed, has no satisfying ending in sight (someone tell KR that learning a lesson for the 45th time Isn't growth, applying a lesson is). So has Buck has anything completed for 2.5 seasons?? As badly told as it was for parts, even Madney had a conclusion to their conflict. Why is this hard?

Hello friend! I was hoping to get to this yesterday but I wasn’t at home and ended up being out until late. But I am HERE for this salt and had a little chuckle reading this when it came in because you’re SO RIGHT! Season 3 kinda closed things out for Buck and he’s just been spinning his wheels ever since, especially because completely aside from his own stuff, he’s not allowed to be as involved in other character’s storylines either. Someone mentioned awhile ago (probably @outrunningthedark, hey *waves*) that because Buck is the only one without a family of his own outside of Maddie (which JLH seems to be on limited filming duty and that time is being used (ish) for Buckley-Han family stuff), all his “personal” stories are ending up being with random and mostly unimportant side characters. We know (and love) the main, immediate  Grant, Wilson, and Diaz families and as recurring characters, it’s exciting when we get to see them! Maddie’s storyline with Doug heavily involved both Chim and Buck, and everything since has been mostly about her and Chim and every once in awhile we get a little bit of the Lee family. Buck’s season 1 storyline was tied with Abby so that made sense and season 2 was tied in with Maddie and Eddie’s, and season 3 gave us a lot of Buck/Bobby stuff on top of his time being mostly wrapped up in the Diaz family, and then closing out with Abby. 

I would say that Buck Begins wasn’t so much the start of a new arc as it was informing everything that came before as the audience and Buck reconcile everything we knew before against this new information together. Which was great! But then it didn’t go anywhere. Buck starts the season with talking about how he hides his true feelings from others and doesn’t want to do that anymore and then proceeds to spend the next every episode after that still hiding his feelings from others, only now the audience is included in that. Since the show decided our characters almost never need to have deep and important conversations with each other, we have had basically zero insight into what Buck is *actually* feeling and thinking most of the time. And when he does talk with others it sometimes feels so incongruous with what we know about Buck that we’re left wondering if those conversations are truly what he’s feeling or if he’s masking. Or if it’s yet another instance of KR not understanding the character and writing shit just to write shit. *side eyes every interaction with or about tay kay and L*

“Then there's the whole sort of dating thing which leads to his relationship with the reporter and continues to drag through S5 and just kind of ends because it has to, not because of any personal development.” Catch me getting irritated all over again that we suffered for SO LONG through that whole tay kay mess, and Buck looking miserable and the cast specifically saying that it was on purpose that we were seeing his face looking Like That, only for it to amount to nothing in the end but tay kay being the same awful person she has always been but the show tried to pretend for a hot minute that she wasn’t so KR could wedge her into everything, and Buck being miserable and only stepping away when someone else he loved got hurt, again, by her actions. We didn’t get to see ANYONE in the firefam talk to him about how unhappy he was with her (but thank goodness we had time to lecture him on how he sucks at being a bf at Christmastime instead of anyone saying “dude, are you okay? this all sounds like red flags.” 🙄🙄🙄) or her Buck get to tell her or anyone else that he was unhappy and wasn’t getting the support he needed from the relationship. Which is entirely possible to do without outright calling her a bitch (which actually Eddie and Bobby both deserved to do, though Athena would say it for Bobby because he wouldn’t do it himself, and honestly Chim (and Maddie) and Hen too after the Jonah thing), because we saw it happen with the Eddie/Ana breakup! Eddie got to tell Buck that he was unhappy but didn’t know how to get out, and then he was allowed to go home and make the choice that he was not happy and it wasn’t fair to either of them for him to keep acting like he was. It didn’t outright villainize Ana (though again, tay kay deserved to be villainized at least a little because she was awful and also far more interesting as an awful person the firefam banded together to hate), but the show was just as clear in SHOWING us that no matter what Eddie said at any point in time, she wasn’t good for him OR Chris or what either of them needed. We SAW the same for BT on multiple counts, even when she was “trying” it wasn’t anything that was actually helpful for Buck which she would know if she knew even the slightest thing about him, and even HEARD it in how Buck (bless Oliver) never said “I love you/her” without looking like he smelled something awful and having to stop partway through before forcing the words out. But when it came down to it, we got an amicable breakup after Chim and Hen nearly died, Buck faced an inquiry at work, and the investigation and department were likely deeply compromised because of her lack of ethics. 

A Buck/Maddie/Chim conflict arc could have been REALLY good specifically because we KNOW they all love each other, and more than that, they all UNDERSTAND why the others took the actions they did. But it doesn’t mean those actions didn’t hurt! And we got resolution (ish) for Maddie and Chim during Boston (which just kinda got tossed out the next ep with them breaking up and getting back together off screen with very little discussion between them directly or between them and any other characters), and Buck and Maddie did have a good conversation when she got back. But. I haaaaaate that we got nothing about Buck and Chim not really being okay, but making sure they didn’t drag Maddie into it and trying to not let it affect work, but everyone can kinda tell. We could have had some good Buck/Bobby and Chim/Bobby content out of that, and an on-screen resolution of them talking to each other finally and getting back to being brothers who tease each other out of love. Or that after the initial “thank god you’re safe and home and I missed you” wore off, we didn’t get Buck and Maddie talking to others about the little strain still there and how to deal with it because Buck DOES understand and he LOVES his sister but she still left, and his relationship with Chim was fractured when they were both just blindly groping trying to help in the best ways they knew how and not being able to. He missed out on as much time watching Jee grow as Maddie did, and UNDERSTANDING, and knowing it’s not personal or anything to do with you doesn’t make it not hurt. Especially for someone like Buck who feels so deeply and was/is constantly punished for having emotions by people like his parents and his gf so he tries SO HARD to not tell anyone when he’s hurting because he doesn’t think he deserves to, and god forbid someone think he’s making something about himself. Like, this could have been some good drama because like the lawsuit, no one is the villain, no one is fully in the right or fully in the wrong, and no one is to blame it’s just a shitty situation that wasn’t handled perfectly by anyone because they’re all just human and make mistakes. Add Eddie having a breakdown in the background of all of this that Buck feels coming but isn’t prepared for because he’s trying to handle everything and manage his gf, and of COURSE Eddie would talk to him, wouldn’t he? Only to get slapped with Eddie quitting and then Maddie and Chim coming back, and everything at work being out of sync like....the POTENTIAL for a firefam focused season that was deliciously dramatic while being grounded and real and emotionally cathartic was RIGHT THERE and I can’t believe the show was like, “instead of dealing with all this stuff we ourselves put in motion, how about we focus on some random side characters, tell you in interviews that stuff got resolved because I don’t want to think about it anymore, and sprinkle in an OC and some cheating while sidelining the characters this show is supposed to be about and that we keep promoting in the synopsis to trick people into watching but it’s only going to be 2 minutes crammed into the end of an episode because I’d rather spend 10 minutes showing you the set up for an emergency”. ANYWAY.

“someone tell KR that learning a lesson for the 45th time Isn't growth, applying a lesson is” 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 He’s been going in circles since s4 started but he’s not GETTING anywhere, even when he actually gets to talk to someone about something, it either never gets mentioned again after the episode (the couch stuff with Eddie/Bobby, the happiness talk with Hen), or like the talk with Hen about being a donor, it happens and then gets treated as a joke and he doesn’t think about a single thing she said until, apparently, if the interviews still ring true and they don’t go a different direction (please GOD go a different direction and wrap this TF up!), it’s too late and there is already a baby he helped make on the way. I’m actually not going to talk about that arc because this is already so long, and also I can’t think too hard about it without being filled with incandescent fury. NGL I laughed at the Instagram post about Buck needing to not be in danger, and all the comments about how it’s actually better for the plot when he is, and how the show needs new writers so he can have good scenes again. Fingers crossed after all the criticism across the board OG received (not about arcs like s5 which can be brushed off as fans just being difficult or not liking an arc but it’s over now so why change anything/blamed on fandom for being hateful because they hate women (🙄🙄🙄), but “boring” isn’t something this show shouldn’t ever be and THAT might draw some attention), Timmy can find it in his schedule to let LS’s co-showrunner do their job for a minute and check in on his OG show. Knowing that Brad is back even though he’s never done a mid-season premier episode (and the flack the show got for not having him do the s6 opening and how awful and boring it was) does give me a little sliver of hope but we’ll see.

Thanks for giving me some delicious salt to work with, I was clearly able to make a whole meal out of it! Next week gives us LS though so hopefully we’ll have some fun to talk about soon! Cheers friend and I hope you enjoy the winding rabbit trail of a salt mine I made here. 🤣

[zot3-flopped]

I’m the anon who firstly replied to "smearing joe’s name" person. I definitely don’t feel the urge to rage, so, hopefully, we’ll go on with this conversation, it’s always interesting to hear other people’s opinions.

When it comes to Taylor’s lyrics, she tells her side of the story: sometimes smearing the man it’s about, sometimes smearing herself. At the end of the day, those are the emotions, which are valid even if they can come off insensitive. We don’t know a tenth of what happened between Joe and Taylor to lead to her yesterday’s speech. Last thing I saw is that Swifties found that Joe’s friends tagged him under the photos of half-naked models multiple times during their relationship, which also doesn’t make him look good. Did he do something shitty and his "woe is me" run in dm pissed her off? Is she hurting and wants him to hurt as well? Both? We don’t know. I’m very curious how she will handle SN release because with Red she took the approach of "these songs are mine and my fans’ and each of them has a specific person in mind while listening to them", not dissing Jake for a second, very similar to Harry. For all we can judge, JM left her traumatized, so we’ll see if she changes it.

The first time Taylor discussed Clean she described it as "Clean of heartbreak”, how when you’re heartbroken, your life moves differently but then one day you wake up with the realisation that you moved on from that person and wish nothing but the best to them. Personally, I struggle to read this one as a dig at Harry. Talking about "unpredictable and unreliable", to be honest, I don’t think Harry was an exceptional example of predictability and reliability back then. I mean he was just a 18-year-old boy, and even though I’m sure he was times better than his peers, it’s still a 18-year-old boy. In his rs interview, when discussing Taylor, he said that relationship are hard at any age, but especially when you’re 18 and don’t really understand how it works yet. Have you heard his unreleased song Him? It’s undoubtedly about Taylor and the lyrics goes like: "So you were right / There's always two / The one who stays, and the one who's leaving you / Hear me out, my apologies / 'Cause I’m not here for sympathy"; it heavily implies that he’s the one leaving her and there’s something to apologize for.

Interested to hear your thoughts about the Taylor/Joe break up. From her lyrics she seemed to be so deeply in love with him, and dreading the possibility of a split. They lived together all over the world and seemed on the brink of marriage and children, then it all changed.

[singsweetmelodies]

also i went through your profile just now, i know it is a lot to ask but if you find time, please write the Styrain GP fic!!? it's such a pivotal piarles moment ™ in their lore and THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH ANGSTY FICS ON IT like, HOW. I JUST. am so baffled.

that gp haunts the living daylights out of me. it could've been the end of them. had pierre not forgiven charles, everything would've been just gone or not the same anymore, at the very least. AND THIS IS PIERRE we are talking about. who's had a rough f1 journey to put it mildly, and charles KNOWS, and yes we can all say the demotion was in the past but I'm pretty sure half of the planet is still processing 2020, even i find it hard to believe that we're in 2023, in my brain 2019 was yesterday and the fact that all the drivers are constantly under scrutiny, "you're only as good as your last race" thinking and shenanigans and i just. pierre could've chosen his career over charles and i truly would've understood it, because like, at the end of the day, all these drivers what they really care about is results and winning and points and anything that comes in between is ruthlessly put aside AND DESPITE ALL THAT, DESPITE EVERYTHING, the fact that they made up and found their way back to each other, the fact that pierre would rather not worry about a botched race even though it came at the expense of charles, the fact that by next Wednesday he was making jokes about the incident in interviews, that he didn't carry any grudges and grievances forward and everything was okay, because it was Charles.

i have no trouble believing that had it been anyone else, it would've caused a fallout, i know if something on track goes wrong between Este and him next season, the old grievances would come back haunting them,, BUT that was never the case with charles, because it's charles and he's so much more important, he's so much more valued and cherished in Pierre's mind than the race itself, the fact that they moved on and they have talked about it in case it happens in the future, the fact that they're able to separate track life from their personal life, the fact that even though they have shitty races, if the other has a good one, they won't hesitate to celebrate each other. I AM JUST SO IN LOVE WITH THEIR BOND.

like if we think of it in terms of pierre's career, 2021 was a GOOD year for him, he was definitely turning heads and making people question whether his talents should be reduced to a rb b team, 2021 is such a crucial year in his career trajectory and this incident happened in that year. it would've been easy to let anger take over and let charles go, it would've been easy to let wounds fester and boil over, but he didn't, they didn't. because it's them and they're important to each other and i just want to cry now.

all this to say, i really would love if you wrote the Styrain GP fic, hehehe

🙏🙏🙏

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH, anon, i have been coming back to my inbox to read through this again and again just to nod my way fervently through it, because, YES. yes yes yes yes yes!!! you get it, oh my god, you just get it. everything you said here is so "!!!" and so very true - pierre could easily have let charles go, as you said, and it would've been completely understandable considering where his career is at. (and also bcs pear is a bit of a petty bitch, lmao, just LOOK at those infamous film festival shenanigans with este, hehe 😏🤭) but the point is: charles is different. to pierre, charles is different, and special, and even though pierre was rightfully pissed off after the race, he still listened to charles and forgave him when he came to talk to him. and just. god. as piarles moments go, it is absolutely HUGE omg 🙏🙏🙏 you have said it all so absolutely perfectly that i don't think there's much more for me to say other than just, fuck yeah, styria 2021 is a massive one. omg.

now secondly: i am so 🥺🥺 and 🥰 that you took the time to go through my profile (and my freaking insane tags) like this!! that is SUCH a sweet thing to do, and ridiculously flattering, omg 🙈🙈😍 this one made me particularly happy bcs the styria fic is one i've been wanting to write since the moment i first learned what happened between them there. and that was, oh, freaking MAY 2022?? well before i'd even published my first f1 fic to AO3... yeah. the styria gp piarles fic is one that's been living in the back of my mind and heart for months now, so i am so touched that you are this excited about it too 🥺🥺 this ask has definitely inspired me to bump the styria fic up a good few places on my to-be-written list, so, ily always for that, anon ❤️

the last thing i wanted to say! omg, i completely agree that there aren't nearly enough angsty styria fics out there (but that's bcs i'm a bit of a whore for a good old angsty reconciliation fic and in my opinion there can NEVER be enough of them.) i've checked my AO3 bookmarks for you, though, anon, and i've actually found three which i've read and adored:

hand covers bruise by anonymous - i can't lie to you, i know exactly who the author of this one is 🙈 so i went to their AO3 profile to find it, and it had DISAPPEARED, and i nearly had a mini heart attack, ngl to you, because this is my favourite styria fic of all. i literally went "no no no! please no!" when i thought it had been deleted 💔 but thankfully it's still there, only on anon. so i will respect the author's privacy and not link it to them here, but omg, i will say that this fic is EVERYTHING one could ever want in a styria piarles fic. the hate-sex-that-isn't-really-hate-sex, 🐶 style (!!) but also a conversation about what happened between them, and the characterisation... it's PERFECT, truly it is. i cannot recommend this one enough 🙏

kiss it better by foxholecourts on AO3 - this is another "they fuck it out" post-styria, and it is as angsty as it is absolutely excellent and wildly hot. fun fact: this is on my very first page of AO3 bookmarks in this fandom! old but GOLD, as they say 🤭💙

the consequences of your actions by emotionalsupportfastcars on AO3 - this is a really beautiful (and heartbreaking) look at pierre and charles' emotional journey post-styria: particularly angsty bcs it portrays them already in a committed relationship here. there's no smut in this one, but there are SO many emotions, and i find it absolutely stunning in its simplicity. just such a good bit of angst writing, this!

so there you have it, anon! sorry for making you wait so long for this reply (🙈) but i am unfortunately distractible as alllll hell and very messy and chaotic when it comes to answering asks, i'm afraid. but i LOVED this ask so much, and i appreciate you so so much for sending it! ❤️❤️

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

Having god awful insomnia lately but it is so fun to see you on my dash at these hours so that's nice, at least. -Rotten Anon

I'm sorry that you're having insomnia :( I have experienced really terrible insomnia before - mainly before I got on the right birth control that helped a lot of my symptoms, so I definitely know how shitty and awful it is

When I was in high school, I used to go for up to four days without sleeping. There was times when I took tests and had them handed back to me graded without remembering that I took the fucking test in the first place

One time I went an entire weekend without sleeping - Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and on Sunday, my mom invited me to go antique shopping with her - and I thought that getting out and doing some activity would finally make me exhausted enough to fall asleep. So I went with her and I ended up staring into a random mirror for ten minutes thinking it was a portrait of someone who looked eerily like me (a la the Haunted Mansion - how the deceased bride from years ago has a portrait that looks a lot like the modern wife). Shit was bonkers

Luckily, now, even if I don't always sleep well and sleep is still something I struggle with, my body does get exhausted enough to TKO after like 48 hours. Which I consider lucky after the hell of being awake for like 78 hours and feeling like I can smell colours and not being able to fall asleep no matter what I try

But right now, I am on such a weird sleep schedule. Which does happen to me often. My ideal sleep schedule is going to bed at light 9pm (I am not even kidding) and waking up comfortably at 6am or 7am. I like having some quiet time to myself before everyone else gets up - cause that's usually when I get a lot of writing done. Even if I wake up at like 4am when it's still dark out, I don't mind that, because I can get that peaceful alone time - I know a lot of people prefer to do that at like 1am-3am after everyone else falls asleep, but I don't really like that because I don't like to have my alone time after I have done a full day of activities and I'm already exhausted. At that point I would rather just sleep lmao

But to me, prime time for peaceful alone time is from 3am-8:30am before everyone else gets up and starts their day - I can get breakfast, watch TV, fuck around, and I get a lot of writing done during this time.

But because of my illness, my 'schedule' is not even a schedule. At any given of the month, I could be waking up at 9am or 9pm and going to bed at 5pm or 5am. I literally have no schedule whatsoever (which my online posting reflects lmao)

For the past few days, I have been going to sleep midafternoon - at like 1pm, 2pm, 3pm and waking up at MIDNIGHT. which is my least fucking favourite time to wake up ever. it's too late to eat dinner with my family so I end up eating cereal or something for dinner? and it's waaay to 'early' to call it 'morning' - and I end up being tired for BED by fucking lunch time. ass oclock time to wake up

but I have been taking advantage of it in order to work on a fic lmao. yesterday I wrote 3k on a fic - and if I keep up that pace, then I'll have another finished oneshot in order to be edited and posted later (because editing is the part that takes up the most braincells. I can't do that shit right now)

ANYWAY I HAVE BEEN RAMBLING SO MUCH OMG. I am glad that my presence online is making you smile <333

[witching-by-the-willow]

Confession: its me again. That balcony acid. So I wanted to share another one that happened literally yesterday (i dont even know if you saw the other one but whatever). So I had these batteries like listen I have this list of things I like trying and my building doesnt allow but we all pay almost nothing for a shitty apartment so it doesnt matter. And anyway on this list are stuff like "what would happen if you put gasoline on butter?" Silly things like that (nothing happens except the butter melts which means science didnt lie to me) and anyways I picked one of those yesterday (rolled a D20 for it like a pro of course) and the winner was lithium with water

Now, listen, basically if you add a little not much is happening except fumes and sparkles which is pretty and I wanted that. But because Im an idiot I literally took some lithium from some batteries and added a bit more than I had to and my balcony exploded (not literally thankfully) and I was so lucky my cat was in the other room (and that my balcony didnt fell off by this point) cause I was really living la vida loca there alright. Of course my neighbor came again and was like WHAT THE FUCK IM CALLING THE COPS TO MOVE YOU OUT and I said something like mam thats not how this works and I offered her a banana cause I was eating one you know cause I need to eat (but I think at this point she doesnt want anything from me except to leave her alone)

And anyways I should stop doing shit on my balcony cause Its been 2 years since I started but I meaaannn I didnt hurt anyone except my balcony (which I should stop cause I live at like the forth floor in a 10 floor building so thats kinda bad) But also its not like my uni lets me do that stuff in their laboratory (their loss really) and tbh I dont care that much its not like I cant do it in another apartment but I love testing shit and almost killing myself and anyways sorry I dont even know who you are I just clicked on the first person I saw at random in the reblog section of that post but enjoy my experiences with me, me lady

Lol here I come dumping random shit on my mind cause my friends are tired of me saying "my neighbors came again"

Legend says you can hear them groaning still

Hello again, nonnie!!

I did see (and immensely love) your previous ask! But because Tumblr is a hellsite, it has apparently stopped giving notifications of having your asks answered when you send them anonymously. (@staff bringing this to your kind notice.

Anon, you are an icon. Never change, please. ✨

This is giving me flashbacks to year 9 chemistry and having it hammered into my head that "alkali metals react violently with water, hence lithium and sodium are kept in oil" ajfjwkfbkwgbje. I wish I could have been as adventurous as you, and dabbled into a little rebellious experimental too.

I LOVE your undying dedication to scientific curiosity. Your neighbour should realise that no genius was ever born without a little streak of crazy. 🤌

I hope you're okay, though! Stay safe, bestie...❤

And I am very glad I happened to be the one you randomly clicked on, thank you for blessing my day with your stories. By all means, come dump your random stories anytime! 💖

Anonymously confess something to me 👀

[wintergojo]

Hi this is my first ask ever so I'm not even sure if I'm doing this right hehe XD I really love your dad!gojo and baby seishi works! Could you maybe do one where baby seishi gets a cold and gojo and reader try their best to calm down since it's his first time getting sick? Thank you!

omg anon this was actually one of the things on my list of drabble ideas ^0^ i was so excited to write when i saw this! :DD and can i just say i feel honored to be the first one to receive ur ask and that u love my fics? 😭😭 and dw there's really no format for them :33 (aside from being polite hehe)

i’m also sorry this was mainly focused on fever instead of cold, it’s bc i read that colds in babies normally has fever as the symptom and the actual cold starts after 3 days (although i cut it short here) but i still hope u enjoy this! 😚😚

cold cold cold (dad!gojo x mom!reader)

tags: tbh idk what genre this is (hurt/comfort? angst? fluff? help me pls), slice of life, just bby gojo getting sick and his parents worrying, mentions of sickness, death

wc: 2.9k (what drabble)

navi

additional note: i was actually debating whether to write seishiro as 5 months old or 13 months, but i thought 5 months would be better since they would be very new dumb parents & seishi is kinda more vulnerable at that age bc his immune system's still weak (makes them more scared) hehe

how did it come to this?

yesterday seishiro was still his energetic 5-month-old self, actively attempting to roll around and lift his head as both his parents encouraged him on. he even had enough strength to try sitting up without any support.

yes, you and your husband took him outside in the middle of winter. but it was just for 20-30 minutes to get some fresh air on the balcony.

you both made sure he was wearing layers and layers of clothes to protect him from the cold and the wind. satoru even made sure your little baby was wearing the viridescent mitten maki gave, a cute tangerine-colored bonnett nobara gifted, a pink fluffy earmuffs given by yuuji, an indigo bootie chosen by megumi, and a very thick and warm baby blue blanket you spent your whole pregnancy knitting.

yet the next morning both of you were woken up at four a.m. by the crying sound of the boy, a drastic difference from how he usually wakes up at seven a.m. without any fuss. just a toothless smile showing his tongue and a little flailing upon seeing his parents hover their face over his bassinet.

since the cot was on your side, satoru allowed you to get the baby and was about to fall back asleep when he heard you curse under your breath upon checking seishiro.

the sorcerer instantly gets up and scoots over to your side, slowly getting filled with anxiety.

the room has no light in it except for the night lamp you turned on, but satoru could see the worry starting to brew in your eyes.

"i think he has a fever, 'toru. he feels hotter than usual. what do we do? what do we do? we haven’t learned anything about this, we couldn’t even attend parenting classes, we’re not prepared at all, what if… what if–" you started panicking, lifting the crying seishiro off the crib and holding him close to your chest as you tried to shush him.

your husband frantically moves his arms around the both of you, not knowing where to put his hands nor who to hold.

"deep breaths, baby. we read about this in parenting books, remember?"

"who cares about those stupid books?! just hurry up and tell me what to do. ohmygod ohmyg–” you were cut off by seishiro crying even louder, prompting you to shift your focus back on him and settle him into a more comfortable position. “shh, baby. i'm sorry. mama and dada are here, okay? don't cry."

satoru stills. racking his brain to try and remember the contents of the chapter 'my infant is sick for the first time and i'm a shitty parent, what's next?'

he can't.

his mind is filled with too many worrisome thoughts over the possible outcomes of his son's fever to even recall what he read.

your husband pulls himself back to reality. no. he needs to think of what to do now to help his wife and his little dumpling. he refuses to even think about how this could possibly end badly.

shoko.

“i’ll call shoko! she’ll know what to do.”

the father grabs his phone from the nightstand and swiftly dials the doctor. his former classmate will most likely shout at him for calling at this hour and frankly, satoru doesn’t really care. the promise of free booze will be enough to appease her.

he waits for her to pick up while nervously pacing around the room, eyes never leaving his normally docile son he’s never been so afraid to touch. the in-depth thermography his six eyes can see is more than enough for him to tell how high the boy’s temperature is from the color vermillion spreading through his little forehead to the bright orange hue in his neck; a contrast from his mother’s pale orange face and blue cheeks.

satoru flicks the room’s light switch on and turns up the thermostat. it doesn’t matter if he or you gets too hot, seishiro needs to sweat more.

shoko answers at the eight ring, her voice obviously laden with sleep. “it’s freaking four o’clock in the morning. what do you want?”

“seishiroissickandwedontknowwhattodotellushurryup.” he all but let out all at once, pacing faster as he anticipates shoko’s directions.

“huh? what did you say? and is that seishiro i hear crying in the background?”

your husband takes a deep breath. he’s letting his anxiety get the best of him.

“seishiro has a fever and he won’t stop crying. we don’t know what to do.”

the white-haired sorcerer hears some shuffling in the background and the click of a switch. “have you taken his temperature?”

“no. we kinda focused more on making him stop crying.”

shoko’s sigh makes its way to his ears before her instructions for satoru on what to do. the man intently listens, asking some questions in between and engraving every word his friend says to his brain.

when the call ends, he sees you looking at him with hopeful eyes. “what did she say?”

“shoko said we should check his temperature first. i'll get the rectal thermometer, honey. hold on for me, okay?" he leans closer to you and the boy in your arms before pressing a kiss to your forehead.

he then slowly raises his large hand to caress the back of seishiro's small head filled with little tufts of white hair and flinches upon feeling how warm and sweaty the 5-month-old is. he feels like he just touched a metal park bench in the middle of summer.

nevertheless, the father still presses his lips onto his son's forehead and mutters 'wait for dada, okay, dumpling?' in an attempt to soothe him before abruptly standing straight and darting his head around the dim room, trying to remember where you keep the rectal thermometer.

"we keep one in the bathroom's medicine cabinet!" he hears you urgently whisper-shout amidst your son's woes.

your husband instantly teleports into the ensuite bathroom in a hurry, not even bothering to walk. he comes back in less than a second and sees you gently laying seishiro on his back, slowly unzipping his furry snorlax onesie as you sing him lullabies you both know calms the baby down.

he recalls shoko's words. wipe the tip of the rectal thermometer with cotton and rubbing alcohol. make sure it's clean and dry.

the father's moves are swift and accurate, not permitting himself to make even one small mistake as he follows the doctor's instructions. put a small amount of lubricant on the tip. ("what kind of lubricant?") anything but butter. if you have petroleum jelly that'll do.

satoru dips his knee onto the bed while holding the newly cleaned thermometer and vaseline before tenderly stroking his son’s head as he joins you in singing. seishiro's cries were instantly reduced into light sobs, puffy cerulean irises instead focusing on his father as he calmed down.

you finish taking out the baby’s feet and hands from his clothes while your husband lightly dips his hand from the vaseline container to get a small amount of the product. without satoru telling you anything, you softly raise both of your son’s thick little legs together, exposing his bottom to the father.

just when he was about to insert the thermometer,  seishiro's cries once again resonate throughout the room, expression twisted in what looks like agony as he babbles and tries squirming his legs held up by his mother.

your husband effectively halts his own movements, hesitation visible in his eyes as his shaky hand continues hovering in front of your baby’s naked buttocks.

"you won't hurt him, 'toru. it's okay." your calm voice makes its way to him and he sees you gazing at him with eyes teeming with reassurance.

he takes a deep breath.

the sooner i get this done the faster my dumpling can feel better.

after that 4:00 a.m. what-to-do crisis, shoko sent both you and your husband a list on what to do and what not to do with your sick baby. one of the things on top was to give seishiro an acetaminophen to lower his temperature and pedialyte to avoid dehydration which—despite the abundance of all sorts of pain reliever medicine in your home—you do not have.

so at the crack of dawn in the middle of a snowy winter, your husband ran to the nearest pharmacy wearing his evergreen silk velvet pajamas and his 70,400 yen cream-colored gucci off the grid sandals to get probably everything the pharmacist recommended (judging by his baggage when he came back panting before dropping everything in bed) from medications to cooling patches to suppositories.

the doctor also said to bathe seishiro in lukewarm water and change him into lighter clothes (which you did, dressing him up in a short-sleeved romper) with a reminder to not bundle him up in blankets (you mentally note to give the doctor a generous gift when you see her), as well as to monitor his temperature regularly (which your husband did like a maniac, unbuttoning his son’s crotch every 30 minutes and sticking the thermometer to his backside to the point that you had to reprimand him).

you and satoru never left him alone, nor could you both manage to even be at least one meter away from him. right after his morning bath and giving him his fluids, you lulled seishiro back to sleep right in the middle of you and your husband as you watched him the whole time, monitoring the slumbering baby for any signs of discomfort.

when his lunch time came, the generally big-eater seishiro refused to drink your boobie milk nor the baby formula when he was so eager to suck in the morning (satoru was very jealous). shoko said it was normal for him to lose appetite and not force him to eat but still, you couldn’t help but worry.

“baby?” you hear your husband’s wary tone call you out from the living room while you’re chopping some carrots. you turn to your back and try your best to peek on the kitchen’s cased opening to get a look at your husband crouching down in front of seishiro lying on the couch. “what is it, ‘toru?”

his voice was still cautious when he responded, “i think our dumpling’s getting sick again?”

you dropped the knife, rushing to satoru’s side before crouching down as you touch your baby’s forehead. he wasn’t as warm as he was roughly eight hours ago although there’s some clear snot dripping down his nose. he’s looking at the both of you with cerulean eyes full of contempt, as if he absolutely hates his parents for taking him outside yesterday and putting him in his current misery.

"why does our son look like that?" the man on your left asks, slowly raising his hands to get the 5-month-old's mucus with his fingers and wiping them on your apron (you don't notice). seishiro glares at him even more upon seeing what his father did.

you answer his query with another question, "you think he hates us?" you too then lifted your hand before straightening your index and folding the other four. at this, your baby’s frown instantly smoothened, transforming into his usual smiling face as he raised his small appendaged and held the finger in his still-warm fist.

your husband hummed. “i don’t think so,” he tried copying what you just did, but seishiro just looked at his father with disdain and tightened his hold on your finger. satoru pouted and dejectedly muttered, “probably just his dada.”

you lovingly caress the man’s back in comfort before sighing and wiping another blob of mucus dripping from your baby’s nose. “i think he has a cold now,” you sigh as you continue, nuzzling your face into your husband’s neck and whispering, “i don’t know what to do anymore. i’m getting so worried about him…”

your baby seemed to have heard and understood your words, judging by his tiny little hand gripping your index with a little more force and a whimper falling out of his lips. his teary eyes became focused on his mother as the corners of his mouth turned down and his eyebrow furrowed. he also started babbling aggressively.

satoru rests his chin above your head, wrapping his right arm around your form before moving his hand up and down your torso. "i'll call shoko again, baby. it doesn't seem bad this time."

"thank you, 'toru. i'm going back to the kitchen." you give him a peck on his cheek before raising yourself a little and bending over your baby who still refuses to let your finger go. "mama's going to cook, okay? dada will take care of seishi."

over your son's nine day of sickness, you and your husband acted like freaks continually obsessing over your baby. you were two nervous first-time parents riddled with anxiety, fearing for the countless possible outcomes of his sickness, especially the worst of them all—death.

you remember clearly how terrified you were on the first day, when seishiro's fever was 38.8°C and he was hot and fussy and obviously in pain. you were so, so scared. you were sure your husband was too.

seishiro was back on his bassinet located at the side of your bed, asleep after all the ruckus that occurred at the break of dawn. your husband was sitting on the edge of the bed, intently observing him; his six eyes pushing themselves over the limit as he traced every surface of his dumpling's face and body for any unusual signs.

you on the other hand was inside the crib, lying on your side with your upper arm flat on the mattress, head resting on your upper arm. your left hand was softly caressing the boy's smooth warm face, hoping it would keep him calm until his usual wake up time. you wanted to hug him so badly, to let your little child sleep comfortably and safely on your chest, to hold him safe and sound until you were sure he was fine (you were doing your best to restrain yourself as it might be dangerous for babies to not sleep on their back).

your little seishiro was so, so precious. you’d give your life for his safety.

“babyy, go back here and rest. we have a long day later," you hear your husband whisper as he patted the mattress, before he sat up and walked over to your side to plant a kiss on your forehead. he continued hovering over the crib, large hand caressing your face just like what you were doing to your son.

you relax in his touch, eyes closing as you enjoy his loving touch, "i'm fine, 'toru. you sleep. i'll watch our baby."

satoru sighs, bending over the cot to lift you up bridal style. "no can do, my lovely wife. just leave our baby to me! i promise i'll wake you up if something's wrong."

when your husband laid you down on the bed, you gripped his pajamas and voiced out what you had been feeling since you touched seishiro two hours ago.

"i'm scared, satoru." your voice was merely a whisper, you wouldn't be surprised if your husband didn't hear it.

but of course he did. he always does. whether you shout, talk, whisper, or say nothing at all, satoru will always work his eardrums over the edge listening to everything you had to say.

he pulled you closer to his muscular chest and rested his chin on the top of your head, hands running back and forth to your spine comfortingly. "i know, baby. i know."

hot tears started to uncontrollably stream down your cheeks, instantly drenching your husband's 200,200 yen olivia von halle pajama shirt as you securely wrapped your arms around his waist. “i am so, so scared.”

and now, after countless sleepless nights combined with your son’s wailing and trash bags full of used wet wipes, your baby is back on the balcony basking in the warmth and sunlight the early morning offers.

his father stabilizes him as he tries sitting on the man’s lap, flailing his hands excitedly and looking up at satoru with wide expectant eyes when he succeeds (though your husband still has both of his hands at the boy’s back as a support). the older man gasps. “you can sit now, huh? last week you were just trying to roll. you’re growing up fast, aren’t you? hm? who do you take after? is it dada? or is it mama?”

seishiro babbles in response and satoru nods repeatedly as if in agreement. “that’s right, dumpling. you take after dada, don’t you?”

the glass window opens, and your form holding a tray full of food and baby formula comes into view. “don’t twist his words, ‘toru. our son said he takes after his mama,” you placed the wood onto the table and sat at your husband’s side, lifting the baby off his father’s lap and cradling him into your chest, “isn’t that right, hmm, baby?”

your son’s face contorted for a moment, taking his momentum to adorably sneeze before babbling excitedly at his mother.

you and your husband froze, heads turning to stare at each other as you both rack your brains.

“we really shouldn’t have taken him outside.”

ps. idk what happened but i was actually planning for this to be fluffy 😭😭 it kinda got all sentimental

thank you so much for reading!! 😚 interactions and reblogs are highly appreciated <33

[oatflatwhite]

since we’ve seen buddie place video games together…. you're up late playing video games again but you don't mind me slipping down in-between your legs with a blanket and pillow, falling asleep in your arms 🥺 pls

god sorry this has taken me like a month to get to anon oops! from the intimacy in a relationship prompts from forever ago (feel free to chuck some more in my inbox, though i can’t guarantee a timely response!)

read on ao3

It's almost three a.m. by the time Eddie pulls into the drive, his whole body lit up like a walking bruise and leaving him seriously questioning ever picking up a shift from Henderson again. And—okay, it had been pretty easy going the first three quarters, despite the fact Eddie'd barely spoken a word to anyone on C rotation before today. A couple spot fires, an honest to God cat stuck up a tree. But a five-alarm downtown put a damper on any good mood Eddie was cautiously nursing and now here he is, home three hours late with soot still in his hair, probably, and an ache setting in right at the backs of his knees that's going to make the next few days murder if they've run out of Tiger Balm again.

Eddie really hopes they haven't run out of Tiger Balm again. He feels like applying a whole tube to his—everywhere—and a shower hot enough to scald and approximately fourteen hours sleep right about now, but the living room light is still on when he mounts the steps to the porch, a golden thread visible through the gap in the black-out blinds, which either means:

a) Buck left the lights on when he went to bed, or

b) his boyfriend's still awake.

Given the fact Eddie has witnessed firsthand the way Buck hunches over the quarterly electricity bill, he's gonna go with the latter.

When he lets himself inside, Eddie's smiling.

"Honey, I'm home," he calls softly, toeing out of his boots and tucking them into the cubby by the door next to Buck's worn old trainers with the soles splitting away. He rounds the corner to the living room and feels the last five hours wash right off his back at the way Buck smiles at him from the shitty yellow couch they’ve been meaning to replace: tender and tired and easy, like it's no effort at all.

"Hey, baby," Buck murmurs, slipping his headphones down around his neck and pausing the game onscreen. He tilts his head a little, waiting, and when Eddie presses his lips to Buck's he's still smiling, so much so Eddie can feel his teeth in the kiss. "Looked bad on the news. How you feeling?"

"Mm." Eddie leans in, leans down, til he's bracketing Buck in with his tired legs. Buck's hands, steady as ever, curve around his ass and tug until Eddie gives in and straddles him completely. He buries his nose into the muscle of Buck's neck and breathes. "Better now," he says, a little squished, and when Buck chuckles Eddie feels it like liquid up and down his spine.

He nips at Eddie's ear, lightly. "You're cute."

"M'not."

"You are." A kiss, pressed to Eddie's temple. "The cutest."

“Bet you say that to all the boys.”

“You know, it’s never really come up.”

"I." The words stick a little in Eddie’s throat. "I saved a kitten from a tree today."

"Please tell me someone got pictures."

"Funnily enough, there's no one on C shift who wants to ogle me."

Buck laughs again, his hands finding purchase in the comfy sweater Eddie wore to work today. He's pretty sure it's one of Buck's, ill-fitting in the shoulders and washed so many times it feels soft as cotton candy. It's not like he usually wears Buck's clothes to work, but this morning—yesterday morning?—it had been cold, and raining, and so warm in the bed Eddie had to leave Buck in. When he’d seen the sweater spilling out from Buck’s side of the dresser he hadn’t thought twice about grabbing it. And it’s not like he could actually wear it at work, but—if Eddie disappeared once, twice, three times on shift to the locker room to just hold the sweater to his face and breathe—well, no one on C shift knew him well enough to call him out on it.

“I beg to differ,” Buck says, and it takes Eddie a moment to register the words as a reply. He lifts off a little from Buck’s chest and they’re so close Eddie goes almost cross-eyed trying to look him straight in the face.

“Wait, what?”

“Eddie,” Buck says, patiently. He lifts a hand from Eddie’s hip—Eddie mourns the loss—and settles it against the curve of his cheek. Eddie leans into it. No, wait, this is much better. Buck’s hand is warm and dry and a little calloused and if Eddie turns his head—just—yeah, like that, he can kiss Buck’s palm.

It shivers, under his touch.

“Eddie,” Buck says again. “If you think I’m the only one in that station ogling you, think again.” His thumb brushes along the delicate bone beneath Eddie’s eye. “In fact, I—don’t think I’ve told you this, but the day we met, Bobby, Chim and Hen were all ogling you before I even had the chance!”

Eddie—blinks. “Wait. What?”

“Baby,” Buck grins, and when he kisses Eddie it feels like—like frosting. Sugar-spun and vanilla-sweet.

God, Eddie needs to go to bed.

“Hate to break it to you,” Buck continues, “but you’re kind of a hot commodity at the 118.” He tweaks his thumb and forefinger into the fat of Eddie’s cheek, just barely a pinch. “The hottest commodity, some would say.”

“Oh, would they now?”

“I mean, I don’t know who. But some people.”

“Gosh,” Eddie says dryly. “Talk dirty to me some more, babe.”

Buck shoves him. 

“Okay, okay, I’m going.” Eddie peels himself from the couch, from Buck, wincing as his knees complain. “You coming to bed?”

“In a bit,” Buck replies around a yawn. “Gotta defeat this Thunderjaw first.” He tips his chin up again, like he did when Eddie first walked through the door. The kiss is gentle, barely there. Eddie carries it with him to the bathroom, into the shower. There’s already a folded pair of fresh boxers and an old cotton t-shirt on top of the hamper, ready for him. Eddie tucks his smile into his shoulder as he ducks under the spray, scrubbing at the feeling of the smoke against his body like a second skin. He’s pretty sure he gets most of it off and besides—he’s tired. 

Dressed in the pyjamas Buck laid out for him, hair still damp and dripping and smelling like Buck’s coconut shampoo, Eddie shuffles to the bedroom, yawning. The bed’s empty. He collects his pillow and drags the comforter behind him like a cape as he makes his way back out to the living room, where Buck is being thoroughly thrashed onscreen.

“Hey.” He pauses the game. “Want me to come to bed?”

Eddie shakes his head. The couch is shitty and his back is going to regret this in the morning but that’s tomorrow-Eddie’s problem, because right now Buck’s thighs, clad in those soft grey sweatpants that show off his dick really well, which—isn't actually the point, right now, although Eddie shelves that thought for later—look so inviting. Eddie nestles his pillow in Buck’s lap and follows suit, dragging the comforter over his body and lying so he’s facing the TV, paused on Aloy in the act of drawing her bow. 

“Yeah?” Buck whispers, his fingers threading through Eddie’s hair and out again, almost petting him. He folds almost in two to plant a kiss by Eddie’s eyebrow, right where his own birthmark sits. 

Eddie nods, snuggling closer as Buck’s fingers draw away and he unpauses the game. And it’s—a little uncomfortable, the jostling, Buck biting back a frustrated swear when he misses the canister on the Thunderjaw’s back—but Eddie falls asleep anyway.

He’ll show Buck the kitten photos in the morning.  

[just2bubbly]

He had failed Cinder, he promised to talk to everyone to be together and they did not approve of their commitment so he had to marry someone else and not the love of his life

Masterlist

Hmm, so I know I have taken literally forever to answer this request and my apologies for the same but I finally wrote it and shall be replying for the other pile of requests resting in my inbox for over a year now- and I feel like cheering on myself cuz yea (wohoo! 😍 finally out of my writing block) Thank you so much anon for this heart breaking request, it was fun to write and I didn't really write anything drastic for I have to write multiple other break up fics for our lovely pair of royals. Still, a fair warning to keep a box of tissues close by in case you feel the need to use them.

Better Fates, Worse Futures!

Ship: Kaider

Words: 1.1k

Genre: Angst

A/N: Timeline set post-break up.

Cinder's Perspective:

"Are you happy, Kai?", she prompted.

She wanted to know if he was drowning in the same misery just like her or if had he moved on and found someone else and made love to her-- the very thought brought a pang of jealously but it was the bitter truth. Kai was no longer hers. His happiness was not the same as hers- not anymore.

"Do you have to ask, Cinder?" He sighed.

"I want to know."

"I'm not sure, sometimes I feel happy- other times I feel guilty and when I don't feel these two emotions I feel regret over the possibilities of the future." A future- our future together was left unsaid. A fantasy never becomes a future- a cyborg never married a prince and a love story never had a happily ever after.

"Well, I can understand-"

"You don't really, Cinder. I gave my word to you and later broke it. I betrayed your trust in the with form and I'm so sorry, you didn't even get a chance-"

"Kai, it's all things of the past now, we both have moved on and I guess it's better if none of us brings our past together up." Moved on- her foot, she had placed the order for the 'Cinder and Cinnamon' cologne that he uses just again yesterday for she missed his smell.

"I'm happy to know that you're happy."

"Who said I'm happy?"

"I just assumed."

"I'm doing better, yes. Better than last year but I'm not happy. I haven't been happy in a while now. Honestly, happiness is overrated." She retorted.

"Happiness is a shitty feeling."

They sat in silence waiting for the other world leaders to show up. Cinder tried to break the awkward silences with more awkward questions. Had Iko been present here she would have strangled her- not that it won't be justified.

"How is governing going?"

"Hectic per se, but it's okay. I'm used to it."

"Expected from the best diplomat in the world," She praised without thinking through.

"Well, he failed at one thing he wasn't  supposed to so what's the use?"

"I don't think he failed. He tried his best but fate had better plans for him."

"What's better than you, then?"

Now that caught her off guard: 'what was better than her?' Had she been asked this question 10 years ago, she would have sarcastically replied, "What's worse than her?" 

However, Kai made her feel like she was the best thing in the world for over 9 years now. She asked herself, what's better than her? That was a little bit narcissistic to say, that she was the best thing that happened to Kai.

But in the stars' reality, what was better than them being together?

Although, it had taken a lot of effort to convince herself that she was dating The Emperor Kaito of the Eastern Commonwealth in the beginning, once her mind had absorbed this piece of information- She had never really thought of an alternative future where they won't be together.

Being without her was better than being with her, in multiple ways as well. She had noticed the breakdowns, anxiety issues and skipping of meals, dark circles under his eyes in the last days of their relationship. She had tried to reach out, to help him and soothe him but there wasn't much to offer when she was the 'misery'. The guilt ate him up and in the end unsaid bitter words and broken promises resulted in a turmoil of holding on and letting go. There wasn't much to hold on to, to begin with- a love of two royals against the prejudices of million citizens. Alas, the majority wins and heartbreaks happen and the royal lovers pretend to be strangers.

She replies to his question at last, "In the eyes of the million, I assume it's Ms. Chen Daiyu."

"Cinder, I'm just seeing her as a public stunt- My Inner Circle thinks it's the right time to get married and I'm unable to oppose it. I'm not willing onto this."

Chen Daiyu was all that she had seen all over the news for the last week. Too bad her newsfeed was really in her own retina scanner otherwise should have broken every other screen showing the two lovebirds and the speculations of their engagement and all the times they were seen together. 

"Engagement doesn't seem like a publicity stunt to me, Kai."

"Cinder, it's not what-"

"Please, Kai. Don't pity me now, I'm happy you have found your one." She said rather too bitterly, he didn't deny the claim not like she expected him to.

"I did find my one. I found her and loved her and lost her to my shortcomings. You are my one, Cinder. You always will be."

What episodes of 'Heartbreak and Confessions" was she walking into? Iko loved that drama when exes met after some years and confessed about how they were still in love and just bullshit happens and they get back together.

They were Kai and Cinder, just ex-lovers still in love with each other. Even if their eyes shone with devotion for each other and their hands longed to hold each other, the burden of royalty broke a bond of 9 years, in months- in seconds at last. In the end, it was a simple 'I can't take it anymore' that forced her to leave and him to stop trying. Talking with him, she realized it was necessary to break ties and be actual strangers than just pretend to be one. It was going to hurt a lot and she would feel numb and heartbroken when she would see him with someone else, married and happy. Yet bitter pills need to be taken to cure the ailment.

Rising from a seat, she said, " I was the one, Kai. I'm not your future anymore. Ms. Chen Daiyu seems like a lovely lady. I wish you happiness with her. You can ask Torin to seek me when all the world leaders gather on time. It was nice talking to you. Take care-", she was thankful she couldn't cry, "- Congratulations."

She walked away. He didn't stop. Her words were the final closure for both of them- she was allowing him to move on just as much as she was allowing it to herself.

Her grief came back six months later- this time it was in the form of a wedding invitation.

__

Thanks for reading! That's all for today, I hope you like it- and I'm seeking validation so leave a lot of kudos, likes and comments!!! :)

Taglist: @gingerale2017 @slmkaider @salt-warrior @cinderswrench @cindersassasin @impossiblesuitcase @linhcinder686 @kaider-is-my-otp @greenalmond @kaiderforever @deprivedmusicaljunkie @cosmicnovaflare and lemme know if anyone wants to be tagged.

[fruitcoops]

Can I please ask for some protective Cubs and/or Coops. I adore these boys and I love the fics where they always have each other’s backs. It could be a similar situation to Remus and that Stan guy or something different. No pressure or anything and if you don’t vibe with this prompt don’t stess bestie

Yes, I love protective Lions! For the anon whose meds got mixed up: I'm so sorry that happened, and I hope this provides the comfort you were looking for in the form of Cub lovin' <3 SW credit goes to @lumosinlove!

TW for panic attacks, forgetting to eat a healthy meal

It was Sirius who noticed first. Then Remus. Then Finn.

He was still kicking himself over that one, to be honest.

Sirius moved like a solid wall, murmuring in quiet French as he led Logan out of the gym and into the hall with Remus hot on their heels. A pang hit Finn right in the heart—I want to understand, he thought, fervent and afraid as he set the jump rope down. I would build the Tower of Babel again to understand how to help.

His pulse picked up; sweat itched at his forehead even after he stopped exercising. “Something’s wrong,” Leo said under his breath as they hurried into the hall.

Obviously, Finn bit back. He should have known since the second Logan started snapping his fingers in a nervous tic, should have seen the fucking signs—

“Everything alright?” James asked cautiously from the weight bench where he laid. “Did someone get hurt?”

“Just—just hang on a second.”

“Respire.” Sirius sat crosslegged across from Logan, whose eyes were squeezed shut as he leaned his head against the wall about ten feet from the door. “Logan, respire.”

A gentle but firm hand moved Finn out of the way by his shoulder; Remus slipped past them with a cup of water. “Drink this,” he ordered as he took Logan’s twitching hand between his own. “Open your eyes if you can.”

“Gonna throw up,” Logan managed, his voice high and reedy.

“Lo?” Finn’s mouth was dry. Logan hadn’t had a panic attack since their last year at Harvard together—he barely remembered what to do.

Logan’s chest caved at the sound of his voice, and one pale green eye cracked open to stare at him in sheer terror. “Finn. Finn, it’s happening, I don’t know what to do—”

“Move.” Finn’s throat hurt, but his brain kicked into autopilot. I can fix this. “Leo, get some damp paper towels from the break room. Cap, give him space.”

Leo disappeared from his stunned place by his side; after a moment’s hesitation, Sirius held his hands up and backed away. Logan was still gripping Remus’ hand with white knuckles. “How do I help?” Remus asked as soon as Finn knelt next to Logan.

“Grab some more water, and granola bars.” Slowly and deliberately, he reached up and cupped the side of Logan’s face. He had never allowed himself to do it at Harvard, but Logan always came back to himself quicker with a grounding touch. “Logan, can you look at me for a second?”

He shook his head. “Gonna throw up.”

“Alright.” With a shaky exhale, Logan leaned into his palm. “There you go, good job. Are you still dizzy?”

“Little bit.”

Past adrenaline rush, past collapsing, moving through dizziness. Finn ran through his mental checklist like it was just yesterday that Logan had crumbled after a bad game in from of scouts. “Cap was right, you need to breathe. I’ll do it with you, okay?”

He watched Logan’s chest move up and down, erratic at first before slowing to match Finn’s steady pace. Something damp and cool brushed against his free hand and he pressed the paper towel to Logan’s forehead, then kissed Leo’s cheek in gratitude as he sat down. “What happened, love?”

Logan swallowed hard and licked his lips, but his eyes were opening. “Dunno. I was almost at the end of my reps. I was fine.”

“Did you eat?” Sirius asked quietly to his left, waiting with his arms crossed. Despite his stance, he didn’t look angry.

“Bagel for breakfast. Coffee.”

His mouth tilted down. “That’s not enough.”

“Desole.”

“We’re not upset,” Finn assured him, sliding the makeshift washcloth to his temple. “Just worried.”

“It’s really warm in here,” Logan panted. His pupils had dilated so far they almost masked the green entirely. Past dizziness, into dehydration. “Is anyone else warm?”

Finn’s sweat was already cooling on his body as he handed him the water glass. “Drink.”

In twenty seconds, half of it was gone. A decent amount spilled over the front of Logan’s shirt from his shaking hands, but that didn’t seem to bother him. Leo’s whole face was lined with concern. “Better?”

“Oui.”

Finn glanced up at the others and gave them a quick nod. We’ve got him. Sirius squeezed his shoulder as he passed, and Remus passed him a couple energy bars before heading back into the gym. Logan’s breaths were coming easier; they waited in silence until the rest of the water was gone and his face regained some of its color. “You can’t skip breakfast on heavy workout days, Lo,” Finn said, folding his legs under himself. “You know that’s how these get triggered.”

“It’s been long enough that I thought I’d be alright.”

“Does this happen a lot with you?” Leo asked. Insecurity flickered over his face and Finn felt a stab of guilt.

Thankfully, Logan shook his head. “Not for a while. They used to, back in school.”

“Then why’d you skip breakfast if you knew it might happen?”

“I slept weird. Didn’t wake up hungry, and by the time I was, we had to go.”

“We can take another five or ten minutes to make sure you eat instead of having a panic attack.” Just to make that extremely clear, he added in his mind. “For future reference.”

Logan’s nose twitched as he looked toward the gym door. “Sorry for interrupting your practice.”

“Health comes first,” Leo said firmly. “Practice won’t ever be more important than your safety.”

“It’s our job—”

Finn held his hands up in a timeout motion. “Panic attacks aren’t something we fuck around with, remember? The guys will understand. Coach will understand. Besides, we’re your boyfriends. It’s our job to take care of you when you’re feeling shitty.”

Logan looked between them, sighed, and leaned forward to rest his forehead on both their shoulders. “I love you.”

“Love you, too,” Leo said into the soft skin of his neck with a light kiss.

Finn rubbed small circles onto the back of his hand and buried his face Logan’s slightly-sweaty curls. “Love you, three. Ready to head back in?”

“Only if you’re ready for me to kick your ass in squats.”

Leo snorted. “Bold of you to assume Cap’s letting you near anything heavy for the next 24 hours.”

“That assumes he lets you in the gym at all,” Finn amended.

Logan rolled his eyes. “I’m fine.”

“And I’m sure he’ll believe you, after you’ve been cleared by every doctor in a four-mile radius.”

“I’ll make him let me in.”

“Now that I’d pay to see,” Finn laughed. He internally cheered at the rosy splotches of temper that lived a semi-permanent life on Logan’s cheeks.

Leo nodded. “A true battle of wills.”

Logan’s jaw ticked at the side. “You’re the worst boyfriends ever.”

“Nah, we’re just protecting you from your big bad older brother who is fully capable of banning you from the gym if you don’t play your cards right.” They heaved him to his feet by his hands; if Finn spent a little extra time dusting his back and thighs off, that was nobody’s business but their own.

“Are you done?” Logan asked with clear amusement written all over his face.

“I’m protecting the booty,” Finn said solemnly. Next to him, Leo fought a valiant battle against the grin trying to take over his face. “It’s a very important booty, you know.”

“Like you’d know, Pancake O’Hara.” With a playful smack to his—admittedly lacking, in comparison—rear end, Logan strolled back down the hall to the gym and pulled the door open.

“Yoga mats,” Sirius said without preamble. Leo clamped a hand over his mouth and hid his face in Finn’s shoulder.

“But—”

“Yoga mats. If you even breathe on the weights, I swear to god I’ll sit on you.”

“You’re the worst.”

“Love you, too.” Sirius narrowed his eyes down the hall. “You two have absolutely no excuse to chill out here. Congrats, Harzy, your rotation for the bench press just started. Knutty, Bliz is waiting for you by the ice baths.”

“Oh, god,” Leo groaned.

Even Sirius looked sympathetic as he moved aside to let Logan in. “It’s only fifteen minutes. You’ll sur—Logan, put that down!”