#that’s a girl who knows every my little pony character off by heart

[heresronnie21]

Hazel sketch

Also hc that she wears pearl jewellery bc it doesn’t come from the underground

[mrsbuckybarnes1917]

7: SPRING FLING

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You try and get over Bucky with a sexual intervention.

Word count 3.2k

Warnings: jealous Bucky Barnes, original character (please feel free to imagine Alexander Skarsgård when reading the character of Erik), some Russian spoken between Bucky and Nat, Nat being the best bestie

“You know what you need?” Wanda shouted over the loud music, looking directly at you.

“What’s that?” You answered, equally as loudly, taking a sip from the cocktail in your hand.

“To get laid.”

The way that you choked on your drink was undignified and most unlady-like.

You glared at Wanda and at Natasha who was sitting on a barstool opposite you smirking. Wanda patted your back, sympathetically. They had convinced you to come out with them to the local club, where the music was pounding and the lights were dimmed and you didn’t have to think about your emotional problems. Surprisingly, the thumping music vibrated through your body, calming your mind. The alcohol also helped!

“Was this your idea?” You demanded from the red-head who merely shrugged in response.

“Cricket, honey, your aura needs a good cleansing.” Wanda fanned the space around you, trying to pick off the gremlins that only she had the ability to see.

“Yeah, maybe having some good D will help you get over these ridiculous feelings.” Nat may have spoken quietly, but you caught every word.

“Fine, make a suggestion.”

That got Wanda and Nat’s attention, their eyes lit up like two little girls who had been promised ponies for their tenth birthdays. Immediately they started conspiring and assessing the options so you wouldn't have a chance to change your mind.

You glanced around the joint, it was filled with people you recognized, if not by name, then at least you'd seen their faces in passing or at briefings. The compound wasn't so far away from the city but the location was remote enough that the traffic on the roads was mostly caused by commuting members of the S.H.I.E.L.D. organization. Unlike most of the Avengers, they weren't offered automatic room and board. But it did mean that a large number of people congregated in the local watering holes to let off steam.

You let Wanda and Nat drag you onto the dance floor, where the bass thumped in time with your heart. You let yourself get lost in the music, letting go of your worries and inhibitions. The alcohol had loosened you up, and you found yourself dancing with a stranger, their hands on your hips as you moved together in perfect sync.

As the night wore on, you found yourself laughing and chatting with different people, enjoying the attention and the thrill of the unknown. It wasn’t something you normally did, preferring the comforts of home and the company of your inner circle. But everything changes and sometimes you are forced to change to adapt to the direction life is taking you. Wanda and Nat watched from the sidelines, nodding in approval as you let yourself be swept away by the moment.

Just as you were starting to feel a little dizzy from the drinks and the dancing, you felt a tap on your shoulder. You turned around to see a face that made your heart skip a beat. He was handsome in the most boring, traditional way… at first. His tall stature and toned figure towered over you in a way that made you feel small, but his eyes provided a sort of balm over the rest, endearing you to open up to him.

“Hey,” he said, his voice barely audible over the music. "I've been wanting to talk to you ever since you walked in here with your friends. Can we go somewhere quieter?"

You nodded, feeling a rush of excitement and nerves as he led you away from the crowd and into a quieter corner of the club.

“I’m Erik.”

“I’m-”

“Oh I know exactly who you are. My father talks about the Avengers a lot,” he laughed, mirth spreading across his handsome features. “You guys saved him from a number of mishaps.”

“Your father?”

“Erik Selvig? I’m Erik Jr.”

“Wait, you’re Dr Selvig’s son?”

“Guilty!” he shrugged. “Hope that doesn’t affect your opinion of me.”

“Are you kidding? Your father’s a genius! I have so much respect for him.

Erik smiled, relieved by your positive reaction to his father's reputation. The two of you continued to chat, finding common ground in your shared admiration for science and the work of the Avengers. You discovered that he was in town for the next few weeks relaying his father’s research to S.H.I.E.L.D.. You found yourself opening up to Erik in a way you hadn't expected. His easy charm and genuine interest in getting to know you made you feel comfortable and put you at ease. You weren’t one for falling for a man so quickly, but for some reason Erik Jr seemed to have cast a spell on you and you were letting it weave its mystic ways around you. And as you talked and laughed and got to know each other better, you realized that maybe Wanda and Nat were right. Maybe all you needed was a different connection to heal your heart and lift your spirits.

As the night wore on, the club started to empty out, leaving just a few stragglers on the dance floor.

“Do you want to get out of here?” Erik asked, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

“Did you have somewhere specific in mind?”

“I’m actually staying in the guest quarters at the compound.”

“Perfect, because my friends seemed to have disappeared on me.” This was in fact a white lie, Wanda and Nat had simply made their way back to the car you'd driven in and texted you to say they would wait until you had a plan.

Erik chuckled, pulling out his car keys, “Well let them know that I'm happy to get you home safe and sound. But I suspect that their vanishing act was probably a very intentional maneuver.”

A smirk crossed your lips, somehow turned on by his intuitiveness. “I'll text them and let them know,” you answered, sliding into the passenger side of his dark BMW. 

The ride home was spent discussing Norse myths and legends, stories you’d both been told or learned as children and how they compared to the things you had learned from Thor. The laughter and banter exchanged was stimulating but had an underlying tone of seduction that was undeniable. Erik’s hand on your knee confirmed his intentions. You couldn't stop thinking about the immediate connection you had felt with him. It was a feeling you hadn't experienced in a long time, and it left you eager to see where things could go with Erik.

As Erik pulled up and parked outside the large complex where he was staying, he turned to you, his tongue sliding over his lips and his eyes roaming over you for a moment. “So, Y/N. Do you mind if I walk you home?”

Your name rolled off his tongue beautifully, and that’s when you decided to give in. If you could hear your name leave his lips even one more time tonight, you’d be one happy girl.

“So this is me,” you smiled, suddenly feeling a little shy as you stopped outside your bedroom door.

“Wow, looks so… normal.” Erik joked, trying to get past the obvious tension you felt.

“Would you like to come inside?” You bit your lip, looking up at the handsome, giant Norwegian. 

Erik’s eyes lit up at the invitation, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. “I would love to,” he replied, his voice low and husky.

You led him inside, feeling a rush of excitement and nerves as you opened the door to your room. It was a simple space, decorated with a few personal touches that reflected your personality. Erik looked around, taking in the details with interest.

“This is nice,” he commented, his gaze lingering on you. “Very cozy.”

You smiled, feeling a warmth spread through you at his words. “Thanks. It’s nothing fancy, but it’s home.” 

Erik stepped closer, his hand reaching out to gently brush a strand of hair away from your face. “You’re beautiful,” he whispered, his eyes locked on yours.

Your heart skipped a beat at his words, the intensity of his gaze sending shivers down your spine. Without another word, he closed the distance between you, his lips capturing yours in a soft, lingering kiss.

The world seemed to fade away as you lost yourself in the moment, the connection between you and Erik growing stronger with each passing second. It was as if you had found something you didn't even know you were looking for, a spark that ignited a fire within you.

Erik broke this kiss with a reluctant sigh. “Look, I have a confession to make.”

Your heart sank, everything seemed too good to be true.

“I want to be honest with you before we go any further.”

“Go ahead.”

“I'm not going to be in New York for long. I travel a lot and I'm not looking for a long term relationship.”

You contemplated the proposition. For a moment you heard Bucky's voice in your head, calling you a slut. But Nat's voice was there to play devil's advocate on your behalf. ‘Girl, be as slutty as you like. Your happiness doesn’t depend on one person. Do this for you and your own pleasure, no one gets to judge you for it!’

You were your own judge, and your verdict was simple; have sex with the gorgeous man in front of you.

* 

Little did you realize that your return home was witnessed by your best friend. Bucky was a little perturbed to see you enter your room with this handsome stranger. He stood in a shadowy corner, watching as you and Erik, laughed and talked. Bucky couldn't help but feel consumed by envy. As you closed the door, he strode back to his room, slamming his own door shut, almost as though additional physical barriers might block out the mental image of the two of you from his mind.

Unfortunately, the physical barriers did nothing to mute his hearing.

“Where do you want me?” He heard your sweet voice.

“Sitting on my face sounds like a good start.”

“What?”

“You heard me. Spread your legs and show me what’s mine.”

Bucky couldn’t believe the sounds coming from your room. They were unmistakable, as they cut through him like a knife. He felt his heart shattering into a million pieces, unable to bear the thought of you being with someone else. As the night wore on, Bucky paced back and forth, struggling to sleep, his mind filled with thoughts of you and Erik. He couldn't shake his feeling of betrayal, images of you invading his mind, filling him with an ache in his chest that grew greater with every passing moment until he thought he would explode.

How could you do this to him? How could you be so careless with his feelings?

But as he listened to the sounds of your passion through the thin walls, a different emotion began to bubble up inside him. Jealousy turned to longing, and longing turned to desire. He couldn't deny the fact that hearing you with another man stirred something deep within him.

Bucky knew he had to confront you about what he had heard. He couldn't keep his feelings bottled up any longer. He knocked on your door, his heart pounding in his chest. When you opened the door, a look of surprise crossed your face.

"Bucky, what are you doing here?" you asked, confusion evident in your voice.

"I heard you," he said simply, his eyes searching yours for some kind of explanation.

You looked down, a blush creeping up your cheeks. "I...I'm sorry, Bucky. I didn't mean for you to hear that."

He took a step closer to you, his gaze intense. "Do you have feelings for him?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

You hesitated, unsure of how to answer. But before you could say anything, Bucky took matters into his own hands. He leaned in and captured your lips in a searing kiss, his hands tangling in your hair.

With a gasp, Bucky sat up in his bed, taking short shaky breaths as he tried to drag his consciousness away from dreamland. As soon as his heart stopped pounding in his ears, he listened for other sounds around him, but there was only silence. He lay in bed, staring at the ceiling until sunrise filled the room.

*

The next morning, you emerged from your room, a smile on your face as you said goodbye to Erik. Bucky lurked in the shadows as you walked with him to the main doors. The scowl that graced his features was worthy of the Chitauri race. If looks could kill, Erik would have dropped dead on the spot.

Natasha, always one step ahead, hissed in Bucky’s ear. «Даже не думай.» (“Don’t even think about it?”) He felt the sharp pain of her pinching the skin on the back of his neck.

Bucky was taken aback. «Чё за хрень, Романов?» (“What the hell, Romanoff?”)

«Я знаю что у тебя на уме,» (“I know what you’re thinking,”) she whispered, her tone sharp.

«Что?» (“What?”) Bucky asked, confused.

«Не испорть это для неё.» ("Don't ruin this for her.”) She was gone as surreptitiously as she had arrived.

Natasha’s words echoed in Bucky’s mind as he watched you and Erik exchange a lingering goodbye. He felt a surge of anger and jealousy, but he knew he had no right to feel that way. You were free to do as you pleased, and he had no claim over you. Bucky was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t notice you walking back towards him.

“Hey, Buck. Are you ok?” you asked, concern lacing your voice. He seemed dazed and you suddenly felt worried that he had seen you with Erik. It wasn’t that you wanted to hide things from him, but a small part of you didn’t want to permanently close the door on the possibility of something more. 

Bucky forced a smile, masking his true emotions. “I’m fine, just tired. Don’t worry about me.”

“Are you sure?” you asked, but you could see through his facade, the pain in his eyes mirrored the pain you had felt when he had told you about Priya.

“Who was that guy?” Bucky asked, throwing caution to the wind. Curiosity eating him from the inside out.

“Umm, that’s Erik. He’s Dr Selvig’s son.” You could sense the tension between you two, and it made your heart ache. You wondered what he was thinking, but you didn’t want Bucky to think you were trying to hide anything from him. So you found yourself blurting out every tidbit of information. “I met him last night.”

Bucky nodded, uncomfortably.

“Well, I’d better go… get started on those reports I’ve been putting off. I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah sure.” Bucky returned your wave with a half hearted one of his down. As you walked away, Bucky couldn’t help but feel a pang of regret. He knew he shouldn’t be upset, but seeing you with someone else made everything worse. He knew he needed to come to terms with the fact that you were moving on with your life, he just wished he could find a way to do the same. Despite being with Priya, his thoughts always came back to you.

*

It was a festive dinner with the team as they gathered to bid farewell to Erik, who was leaving New York the next day. You had enjoyed three uninterrupted weeks of Earth shattering sex and you were sad to see him leave. He was attentive and intuitive and certainly knew how to show you a good time. But Erik seemed to form an immediate connection with anyone he met and if there wasn't an expiry date on your relationship, you would worry about the depth of your connection. But as things stood, you were having a good time and didn't have time to wallow in Buckya and Priya’s relationship. 

Thor had been invited to join Erik's farewell fête as a gift to the guest, and the evening started off with a lively atmosphere. Erik and Thor were having a whale of a time, sharing stories and laughing loudly, while the rest of the team tried to keep up with their energy.

However, on the other end of the table, Bucky was sulking, his mood visibly dark. Steve, sitting next to him, tried to comfort him, but Bucky seemed lost in his own thoughts. He couldn't shake off the feeling of unease that had settled in his chest ever since Erik had arrived.

As the night went on, Bucky found himself in the kitchen with Erik, who had come out to grab a drink. Erik looked at Bucky and said, "You don't seem to like me very much."

Bucky, taken aback by the directness of the statement, replied, "I don't know you well enough to like you."

Erik raised an eyebrow and continued, “For someone who doesn't know me enough to like me, you sure were staring at me a lot during dinner. Or... were you staring at Y/N?”

Bucky's eyes widened in surprise at the mention of your name. He felt a wave of embarrassment at the realization that his feelings for you had not gone unnoticed. He cleared his throat and muttered, “Her name’s Cricket.”

Erik smiled knowingly and said, "If you like her, just tell her. Life's too short for regrets."

Bucky just glowered at him, unable to form a coherent response. He knew Erik was right, but the fear of rejection held him back.

As the night came to an end and the team dispersed, having bid Erik his goodbyes, you were left alone with the tall blonde.

“I guess this is it,” you said softly, breaking the heavy silence that hung between you.

"I guess it is," Erik said, looking at you with a hint of sadness in his eyes.

"Yeah, time to say goodbye," you replied, trying to keep your emotions in check.

"I just want to thank you for the last three weeks. It's been... amazing," Erik said, his voice trailing off slightly.

You smiled, feeling a mix of emotions. "Thank you too, Erik. I had a really great time with you."

There was a moment of silence as you both stood there, unsure of what to say next.

“Well, I guess this is goodbye then,” Erik said, reaching out to give you a hug.

You hugged him back, feeling a sense of finality in the embrace. He pressed one last kiss against your lips before releasing you.

“Goodbye, Y/N.” He gave you one last smile before turning and walking away.

“Bye Erik,” you said softly.

As you watched him go, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of loneliness. Deep down, you knew it was time to move on, and as you walked back towards your room, you felt a sense of closure and gratitude for the time you had shared with Erik. He had stopped you wallowing in ‘what ifs’ and ‘might have beens’. You had been left with a sense of hope for the future, that maybe there was the potential for you to find a connection with someone special.

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[suikung]

Just discovered your blog and I just gotta say AMAZING!

I saw that requests are open, if they're still open then can I request the Akatsuki (not yandere) being mean to and gang nonconning a weak and shy jinchuriki they captured? I saw you only write up to 5 characters so you can pick whichever 5 Akatsuki members you want! Have a good day!❤️

Caught

| Pain Deidara Sasori Hidan Itachi

| Tw. Gang rape Non-con Anal Blood Necrophilia (technically with pain)

WC. 5.5k

For story purposes reader has the three tails,since it’s the only one without a Jinchūriki. It’s a little bit of an odd pairing but I went with what I believe are the more liked ones. Maybe not Hidan, he’s just my indulgence. Also w/ Hidan’s ability you feel both pain and pleasure. I think that’s all the disclaimers now

The trees were still, not a single noise was out of place for you. A night just like any other. This forest was all you had known since your childhood. Your parents had died when you were 16, and for the last two years you’d been surviving here on your own. Well not entirely on your own. The three tails resided in within you. After you had become a Jinchūriki at the age of five, your family fled your village in fear people would target you. Many villages came after you, hoping to take you back with them and use you as military power. But somehow your parents always fended them off. They taught you ninjutsu, seeing as they were Shinobi yourself, but nothing extraordinary. Nothing that could save you from the predicament that had sprouted from this serene forest.

Two robed figures stood in front of you, a man with bright yellow hair and a hunched one you could only assume to be his partner. At first thinking they might have been lost travelers, but the thought quickly disappearing when the hunched man threw off his cloak and launched what looked like a scorpion tail at you.You jumped back, managing to barely escape his attack. A large hole now visible in the ground where he struck. “Hm I guess it’s my turn.” The other man threw what seemed to be a round white ball, quickly exploding upon impact. Exploding on your arm, pain shot through out it all. Whoever these guys were, were significantly stronger than you. And it didn’t take much for them to take you down, a girl who still didn’t know much about actually fighting in battle. They both took a position next to you, one to your left the other to your right. Simultaneously they launched their attacks on you, a bomb to your right, a scorpion tail to your left. Having no previous battle experience, a proper defense reaction didn’t occur to you, and you were hit. All you could see as you laid on the ground was the two men staring down at you. “Hurry up and finish tying her up Deidara. I don’t like to wait.”

The next time your eyes opened, there wasn’t two men staring down at you, only a rock ceiling. Your hands and legs had been bounded, barely able to sit up. It was dark, your eyes only beginning to adjust, pupils dilating trying to take in any light. Once your eyes adjusted, you looked up to see giant hands, two hands just still in the air. What stood behind you was am enormous statue of a petrified monster. Heart picking up it’d pace every moment you stared longer at it, but within a minute the statue didn’t move so you could breathe a little. “What is this.” You spoke out to no one, however you received a response back. “She’s awake Sasori. What you see before you is where that little tailed beast inside of you will soon reside.” The voice spoke from a nearby ledge in what you could only assume now is cave with its lack of light.

The voice, dropped down, now able to make them out to be the yellow haired man from before; the silhouette of his pony tail giving away his identity. “It’s such a pain to be in this musty cave, I don’t understand why leader hasn’t called us all to seal this brat yet Sasori my man, hm.” He approached you, circling you now. He was analyzing your next move, would you fight back maybe? Unlikely considering the weak one you had put up when they captured you. “She’s quite cute. Maybe leader will let us keep her for a while. Come down here Sasori, and take a look for yourself.” A thump landed next to you. It was the hunched man, who now had a name to his face. “Stop messing around Deidara.”, Sasori’s voice was low already, but the annoyance towards his partner lowered it farther. Before Deidara could snap back at him, a voice called out their names. Quickly they jumped from their position to the fingers of the monster statue. Holograms appeared on each hand, every finger now occupied. “How did the capture of the three tails go?” A hologram with spiky hair spoke, your neck strained trying to see them all from your position on the floor. “It wasn’t that hard. She’s awake, sitting right below us. But I doubt she’ll fight back, she proved herself a weakling in battle.” Sasori spoke up. Everyone’s eyes now lowered to the floor, they hadn’t had a Jinchūriki conscious in their meeting.

“Let me use her for my ritual for a while before we store the three tails yeah?” One that seemed to have a weapon attached on his back spoke up. You eyes only widened at his words, what possible ritual could he be talking about? “Shut up before I kill you Hidan.”Chimed the hologram right next to him. “Yeah yeah we both know that ain’t happening Kakuzu.” The pair bantered back and forth before the spikey haired man spoke again, “We won’t be storing the three tails today, so do with her as you please, just don’t kill her. That is all, you may return now.” Just as he appeared, he was gone. “Well Kakuzu, I’ll be taking up on the offer so I’ll see you soon.” Slowly all the holograms disappeared, not before making eye contact with a specific one. Those red glowing eyes, could it have been a sharingan?

Deidara and Sasori were the last two up there. They seemed to be whispering about something, their voices just at the tone where it made it impossible to decipher the words. Shortly after their secret meeting was over. “Well my man Sasori I think we should get started before the others come to interrupt our fun hm.” Both the men discarded their black robes, Sasori took an extra step; out came a young looking man from the hunched figure. “Please just let me go and I’ll tell no one of what you did. Please just let me go!” Practically screaming now in their faces. You weren’t stupid, you knew what their idea of “fun” was. “Even if we wanted to, which we don’t. We can’t. After we finish with you here, that three tails of yours will be sealed away and you’ll be dead.” Sasori’s voice was cold. Not even being able to see properly from the way the tears erupted from your eyes. With a kunai Deidara cut the front of your shirt, hands and legs still tied just incase you tried anything funny. “Come on Sasori we can’t do anything if we keep her hands tied up.” Sasori rolled his eyes, motioning with his hand for Deidara to do what he wants. Your hands were now free but Sasori immediately attached chakra threads to your wrists. They could never be too safe with a Jinchūriki. “Either you can do it willingly or I won’t hesitate with my chakra threads.”

Deidara now stood in front of you, eye level with his mid section. Sasori to the left of you, his chakra strands bringing your hand up to the band of his pants. “I think you know what to do now girl un.” With one hand each, their pants came down simultaneously. You could now see clearly the mouths on Deidara’s hands as he came to down to play with himself. He guided himself forward, tapping the tip against your lips. Refusing to open for him, his free hand came to the side of your cheek his extra mouth licking your face. Before you could even open your mouth fully, he shoved himself into you. His tip immediately hitting the back of your throat causing your gap reflex to activate. Coughing while his dick was in your mouth proved to be a challenge, he pulled himself back slightly to allow you more breathing one. But while one assault finished a new one continued. Sasori refused to be forgotten from the fun and with his chakra strings, he positioned your hand loosely on his base. For someone with a puppet body it amazed you that this was the one thing that remained human. “It’s works just like any other so don’t be afraid to test what I just told you.” Your hand began to move up and down his cock, a shutter coming from Sasori. Not only did he practically dedicate himself to his art, but being in the Akatsuki never gave him the time of day to thing about pleasure. Which is why this simple movement from your hands had small sounds escaping from his mouth.

While your hand pumped Sasori’s, Deidara placed the hand that was previously on your cheek behind your head. His fingers tightly interlocked in your hair, he now had a tight hold to fuck your face. And that he did. With your breathing finally normalizing and your coughing diminishing, he wasted now time in shoving himself back in. Having regulated your breath for nothing. “Use your tongue come on hm”, he whined from above. He was practically giving you whiplash from how hard he was fucking himself into your face. His balls slapping against your chin, and his tip narrowly avoiding your uvula. You want to throw up. Not only from gagging but from being forced to fuck the men you know will have a hand in your death after they’ve spilled enough inside of you.

“Go faster”, Sasori demanded of you. His chakra threads felt looser as you began to comply with him. Both men were letting out groans, their inevitable end coming soon. They were so deprived from any type of pleasure lately this would enough from them, however after they recover from this first orgasm they’ll make sure the next will be thanks to what’s between your legs. The pace you had was not enough for Sasori as his chakra threads took control again. Your hand was now vigorously moving, twisting around his cock while simultaneously moving up and down. This pace being something you could’ve never set on your own. Deidara wasn’t letting up either, your head ached from his grip, your chin probably now red from his balls continuously hitting it. They both seemed to choke up on their moans, immediately feeling a foreign liquid in your mouth. It was salty, only causing you to gag from its revolting taste. “Awe shit”. Sasori finshed in your hand, however due to having a puppet body he had no semen to expel. However the orgasm still rang through his body, a string of curses leaving his mouth. Deidara pulled his cock out, taking this as your chance to spit out his semen. But he saw your next move, his hand came over your mouth, his hand-tongue licking your lips. “You better fucking swallow it.” His eyes were dark, his hand firm on your face. “And when you do, open your mouth so I can double check un.”

You did as he said, not wanting to anger him and expedite your death but maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad idea. Pain began to spread through your ass from the hard rock floor. You shifted slightly, now free from Sasori’s chakra threads, hoping this new position would subdue the pain. Nonetheless it didn’t matter soon enough. Light began to pour into the cave, the sound of something heavy being dragged echoed. Eyes squinted from the sudden rush of light, slowly adjusting. Deidara and Sasori’s had finished readjusting their clothes, attention now turned to the entrance to see which one of their members had come.

“Well well it looks like the party’s already started.” The backlight figure continued to walk towards the three of you, until you could finally make it out to be the hologram with the weapon on his back, the one called Hidan. He had a maniacal look in his eye, wasting no time to remove his sythe from his back as he approached you. “Hidan, don’t kill her. She’s not a sacrifice for your God.” Sasori glared at him, obviously accustomed to his traditions. He rolled his eyes, “I didn’t say I was gonna kill her did I?” Deidara only watched in amusement from the sidelines as Hidan’s sythe was thrown at your face. The tip from one of the three blades cutting into the supple flesh of your cheek, quickly retracting back into Hidan’s grip. So graceful yet so careless with it. The red of your blood blending into the color of his blade. The blade now up to his lips, tongue swiping across it knowing perfectly around it as to not cut himself. Like that would matter to him. The immediate presence of your blood on his tongue changed his entire appearance, body going from looking of normal flesh to being as if his skeleton had been brought forth out of him. “What… what just happened to him…” eyes practically bullying from your head, confusion and fear evident on your face. Would the same happen to you since it was your blood that had done that to him?

Hidan’s laugh now roared throughout the cave, echoing off every empty wall. It was haunting, terrifying, he was a damn psychopath and you could tell this wasn’t the end of his actions with you. His eyes now stared directly at you, never breaking contact as he pulled a sharo baton from inside his cloak. “That’s his crazy ritual to his God. You can never get used to how just over the top and dramatic he is with it.” Deidara answered your question from early, was this what he meant by what he had said before? Immediately after Hidan spoke up, almost interrupting Deidara, “I’ll give you one chance to submit yourself to Lord Jashin.” Who? “Accept him into your life and I won’t have to do this.” The baton was now aimed at his palm, his eyes staring you down from any answer. If this was the way out, you’d gladly accept this ‘Jashin’. Head nodding at a pace that you almost gave yourself whiplash for a second time that day. “That’s too fucking bad bitch. Jashin wouldn’t want a whore like you to serve him.” With those parting words, the baton cut halfway into his palm. Bleed pooled onto the floor, a sufficient amount for him to drag it first into a circle and then a triangle inside. “Ritual complete”, being the only thing he uttered. “One of you two untie her completely, after this she won’t have enough strength to run away.” On his words, Sasori being the closet to you undid the rope on your legs. Just as you stood up, pain shot through your leg, your calf on fire. Hidan’s laugh the only thing you could hear apart from the ringing in your eyes. Barely being able to lift your head, you saw he had the baton wedged in his calf as well but he looked to be enjoying it.

“Ah fuck, your pained face gets me going.” You didn’t know the extent of his jutsu, but you’d be finding out real soon. He dropped the baton next to him, his non-bleeding hand coming into his cloak and done his pants. Cock already straining against his pants he couldn’t help himself and began to palm it through the fabric. Immediately you felt it too. This pyscho’s powers made you feel everything he felt physically, pain or pleasure. To Hidan this was perfect, the stinging in his calf, the relief of his hand on his cock. An immediate heaven. “Stop…please” voice weak, unable to find any strength in yourself to speak up. Your head spun, unable to find a middle ground from the feeling in between your legs, undoubtedly creating a wet stain, and the pain in your calf. He increased his pace, hand now inside of his pants, the strain to unbearable now. Your pleasure amplified, unable to resist the noises your body produced. Soft moans left your mouth, hunched down on the floor using your good leg to kneel for support on it. The other two members couldn’t doubt their oncoming arousal from the sounds you made. Soon enough they’d be ready to go again with you, but for now they lazily stroked themselves. “Doesn’t it feel so good, the mix of both these feelings!” You could only cry out as a response, but before he could proceed any further the three members sensed two new chakras in the cave. Somehow these two had made it in within without making a sound.

Glowing purple and red eyes, the rinnegan and sharingan. All eyes averted towards them, tension thick in the air. No one would except the leader of the Akatsuki and Itachi to participate in this. But then again in this line of work everyone was deprived of simple things in lives, they just couldn’t help themselves to a little divulgence. “Please don’t stop Hidan, we are here to join in. Show her your version of pain if need be.” Your head snapped between the men now. He took no time in resuming what he was doing. How could someone have such lack of embarrassment, then again all these men were here for the same thing. Itachi stayed silent as he watched the scene unfold in front of him, taking in your battered form. Eyes puffy, tears dried on your face, calf bleeding while you cry from a forced pleasure. It did something inside of him. The wanted to be responsible next for those sounds coming out of your mouth.

Hidan’s pumped himself at a quickening rate, the orgasm building in his body and in yours. However he wouldn’t let you have it so easily, so just as you both were sent over the edge, he stopped. The build up on your untouched clit fading away. “Join in, don’t stand there like some creeps just watching.” Deidara, Sasori, and Pain all approached you, Itachi would continue to watch for now while it seemed as if Hidan was restricted to the symbol h had drawn on the floor. You stayed on the floor, still unable to get up from your earlier injury. The three men circled around you. Deidara sat down in front of you “Lift yourself up, we can’t do anything to you if you still have those rags on” he said pointing to your pants. So far your pants had been the last scratch of dignity you had, now it was about to be stripped away.

With your pants lowered to your knees, Deidara could put into action his plan. His mouth-hand latched onto your nipple while the other went straight down on your clit. The sudden feeling sent a moan flying out of you, rapidly trying to shut yourself up. The guilt tripling in your body from allowing such reactions to occur. Nonetheless it wouldn’t matter, your head was pulled to the side by Pain his cock already in hand. Rods poked out from the side of his length. “Open” were the only words he spoke to you before relishing in the warmth of your mouth. While pain adjusted to your mouth, Sasori attached his chakra threads back to your wrist, hand moving up towards his base. Pain didn’t grip your hair to shove your face back and forth, instead he simply bucked his hips back and forth into you. Such an unstable position for you led to your head moving around. “Hollow out your cheeks and put your tongue under it” luckily he wasn’t as big as Deidara who nearly choked you, but he moved at such a pace it stained your neck muscles in any way. Scared of the man who led such powerful shinobis, you did as he told. The sudden vacuum you created with your mouth, left Pain hissing in pleasure. What you didn’t know was the man you currently had in your mouth was feeling no pleasure and instead someone near by the man who was controlling him and was feeling everything.

Your fingers tightened around Sasori’s length starting at the base of his cock. Sasori felt cold, his body was cold. How could someone be so far away from being a human yet still possess the ability to feel lust. All he wanted right now was to achieve another orgasm. “What if we keep her as our Akatsuki whore Pain? It can’t be such a big deal if we don’t get all the tailed beasts right. Plus I think this is a better suited life for her, just being our little plaything, hm.” Deidara spoke up with his unoccupied mouth, you’d rather death than this. If only you had the means to say that to his face and defend your ground. Before you knew it, Deidara had taken your free hand and placed it over his cock. You were completely invaded by them. Hidan continued to slowly play with his tip, lathered with precum, clit pulsing from his actions. What didn’t help was Deidara’s hand-mouth kept kitten licking your clit. Moans vibrated around Pain’s cock, leaving him groaning above you.

However that was all brought down when Hidan picked his Baton back up, hand never moving from his cock as to not draw your attention back to him. With it back in hand, he stabbed his upper arm, head pulling back from Pain to scream, blood began to rush out your left arm. However it didn’t falter as it was held the chakra threads. “You’re luckily she has my chakra threads Hidan, or else her arm would be useless.” Sasori glared at Hidan, he almost got in the way of his climax. Every jerk and pull of Sasori’s cock sent a shock of pain throughout your arm. Tears began up again as Pain grabbed your face redirecting it back to his cock.

“That felt good right bitch. You’re crying now but soon you’ll be begging me to give you more pain.” Hidan screamed from his position to you. The blood curdling scream you let out made more blood rush to his boner. He jerked off faster, blood trickled down from his wound onto his cock. The lather of the liquid making his hand easily slid up and down. Involuntary bucking your hips now against Deidara’s hand, your movements on Deidara’s cock faltering from being bombarded with so many feelings at once. The knot in your stomach growing tighter. Just as you were about to be pushed over the edge, he screamed at Deidara. “Don’t let the bitch have it Deidara.” With Hidan’s words, he retreated his hand from your clit licking the excess liquid from around the palm. How many more times did he plan to do this you? You hated these men, but this was sending you over the edge.

“She’s such a slut, didn’t even bother to stop sucking Pain’s dick after that.” Deidara piped up, never having felt so humiliated in your life. Pain was silent throughout this whole ordeal, his man focus on getting the best out of your mouth and that he was doing. The rods grazing the sides of your cheeks, not enough to hurt you but enough that they were becoming a nuisance after he had Mae you hollow out your cheeks. He felt strange being so cold, his temperature almost on the verge of giving you a brain freeze. But all those thoughts were pushed aside when his thrusts became erratic, your nose grazing his pubic bone, ginger hairs tickling your nose. His upper body hunched over you, hand on the back of your head stopping any of your movements and just keeping his dick nestled in the back of your throat. However, just like Sasori, he expelled no semen from his body. He whispered a string of curses, his mouth not far from your ear. With your mouth now unoccupied by Pain, the screams from the injury of your arm came rolling out. What didn’t help was Sasori was approaching his end and sending up your arm, it felt as though any moment it’d rip. His hips thrust into your hand, no longer solely relying on the chakra threads to do his bidding. His groans ceased as he reached his end, arm dropping now to your side. The only one that was left was Deidara, but he figured he’d finish after he was inside of you.

“Stand up” this time it was a new voice. One that had remained on the sidelines, just watching. But now he stepped up to have his turn. Itachi wasn’t a man to waste time with measly foreplay but instead he preferred the real thing. Sasori removed himself from you, his face looked tired, he was spent from those two orgasms. With all the strength in you, you stood up, all your weight on one leg. Immediately one of Deidara’s hand spit out a white bulb taking on the shape of a large flat cube. Itachi sat on the edge of the white cube, cloak to the side of him. He motioned for you to come over to him, pulling himself further back on the table. “Get on top” Deidara stood behind you, hand on the small of your back guiding you towards Itachi. Your calf still stung with every step you took, but the bleeding had managed to subside. Knees on the table, leg on each side of him, Itachi’s legs hanging off the edge. Forcefully pushing your hips into position where you were now straddling him, your soaked pussy directly above his now unclothed cock. Behind you was still Deidara who took the liberty of beginning to rub his tip on your ass. Everyone except Sasori had now taken their positions around you, Pain standing on the table, to the right of you and Itachi, Hidan right next to him but only on his knees.

“Let’s give her a good send off hm.” Out of no where Deidara pushed his cock inside of your ass. A scream ripped from your mouth, he had practically ripped you in half. Itachi followed suit, his entrance into you easier than Deidara’s, the slick of your pussy allowing him easy access. They began a switch off of thrusting, when Deidara would go in, Itachi came out. With this tactic never once did you feel empty, a constant stretch in your body. Both the men to the side of you began to lazily stroke their cocks, however this wouldn’t be enough for them, they needed to have you also paying attention to their needs. Pain had quite enjoyed the home he had made out of your mouth, not wasting another second in placing himself back in. Hidan now out of his jutsu, a relief to know you wouldn’t be injured anymore, however not stopping him from guiding your hand down to his cock. After all this time of teasing and edging both you and him, he’d reach his end by your hand.

The members all seemed to flow into a rhythm, their synchronized combat skills coming out on display in this very moment. Deidara’s hands came around your chest, latching onto your breasts. Just like before, the stimulation left you moaning around Pain’s cock. His rods seemingly being the only warmth that would come through his body. He looked down at you, hand reaching to wipe your tears. Maybe he was show some mercy to you, but no. His nexts words leaving you speechless. “This will be your way to know Pain. Your pain will bring about the peace of the world. Be grateful this small chapter in your life will only equate to the savior of the world.” What did he mean, how did this ever equal the peace of the world? “Hey bitch, don’t let those two cocks inside of you distract you. You’re still jerking me off.” Hidan snapped at you, the back of his hand coming to slap your cheek to regain your attention.

Stimulation in every possible place in your body left you a crumbling mess within minutes, the over stimulation left your body jerking trying to get away from them. But it was impossible to move, Itachi had an unwavering grip on your waist. Pain was the first one to approach his orgasm after you, his hip movements became erratic, balls hitting your chin just as Deidara’s were before. At the last minute, he pushed with everything he had down your throat. No longer able to hold it in, you gagged, the rejection from your mouth causing Pain to pull out. Your face was beat red, trying to stop coughing and relax your breathing. Drool shined on the side of your mouth, and without hesitation Itachi’s hand brought your face down to his. A kiss so gentle, this would be the last feeling of kindness you would receive and he knew that, somewhere within him he didn’t want you to leave only having experienced pain. However none of that matter, it all felt of a mockery of your situation, why would the man who currently had his fingers digging into the side of your hips, allowing you no way to move from him, care about your demise.

Deidare had now moved one hand off your breast, using it to slap the flesh of your ass. Each time he detached himself from you, his hand would come down with immense force. He wanted to play a little game. “You’re gonna count each time I slap you, all the way to 10. If you mess up, restart the count you hear me bitch.” You only nodded, seeing the approval from the back of your head. So he began, one slap, you counted one. The second, you counted two. The third, counted three. The fourth, you faltered. Not by your mistake but because Hidan slapped you across your face. “Come on princess just wanted to see that pained expression again.” Both the cheek on your face and on your ass now held the same red color. “You know the rules, start over again.” Also so you did. One. Two. Three. Four. Six. Eight. Nine. And ten. A sense of relief washed over your body. His little game was over and he retreated his hand from your ass, placed back onto your nipple. You were approaching your second orgasm right alongside Hidan. He roughly cupped your face, teeth biting your lips drawing blood that he lapped at like a dehydrated dog. The taste of that metallic liquid sending him over the edge. His warm cum spilling into your hand, running down your wrist. He had some much over it after his teasing session. Your walls tensing around Itachi, the warmth enveloping him completely.

“You were a good fuck princess. I’ll miss ya.” Such sweet parting words from Hidan as he pulled his pants back up. All that was left now was Deidara and Itachi. Deidara wasn’t too far, the tightness of your ass left his dick squeezed in such a way he never seemed plausible. His hands now wrapped around your neck, the lack of oxygen causing your entire body to tense up including the hole he currently preoccupied. He couldn’t hold it any longer, pulling out of you his white sticky cum painting your lower back and ass. The warm liquid made you squirm, feeling it run down the line of your ass. “Art is an explosion, a fleeting moment.” He removed himself from you, not before smearing his cum on your back as if he was applying lotion on you.

Itachi stared into you, with only him left he could fuck into you the pace he wanted. He was a savage in the way he pushed his cock so dick inside it grazed your cervix. However this was anything but enjoyable, having something so deep inside of you be touched was painful. Tears dripped onto Itachi’s face. Whispering softly to him, softly enough for the members not to hear you, “Please save me. Don’t let them kill.” His face was void of any emotion. Not a hint of acceptance or rejection to your plea in his eyes. It felt like an eternity had passed waiting for his response and all you received was warmth spreading in your body. His hands holding you down as he release all he had into you. It didn’t matter at this point, you’d be long gone by the time you would conceive a baby.

Your eyes had lost all signs of life behind them, dull now. Itachi had helped you lift yourself off of him, placing yourself at the edge alongside him with your head hung in acceptance. Acceptance that this was it. This was your end.

A voice erupted the silence. “I’ll summon the rest of the members and we will commence the sealing of the three tails. Itachi immobilize her.” The last thing you saw was Itachi’s glowing sharingan as he placed you under a genjustu that would last until your demise.

———————————————————————

A/N thank you anon for your support im sorry it’s taking me so long to get this out. I hope you had a good weekend💜

[darling-rosey]

Lost Boy

Warning!! There's references to abuse of a minor in this, along with injuries as a result of the abuse described. Please be careful reading or skip entirely!

(The title is in reference to Peter Pan and Ruth B's song! The Mc is female coded!)

Wally Darling & Reader.

You're visiting your elderly neighbor and she's found some old tapes from her cartoon collection! An old children's show called Welcome Home.

"Oh, what perfect timing you have, Dear!" Grams exclaims as you nervously peak into her apartment from the door. "Come in, come in! I'm sure this is something you'll be interested in!" 

You do, quietly shutting the door behind yourself and shuffling over to the kind of smaller box your elderly neighbor is looking through. 

Grams isn't your actual grandma, you've never met either of your actual grandparents from either side of your family. Though you can't say you've met too many people in your short five years on this planet to begin with. But Grams just told you to call her that, since saying her actual name was proving difficult for you. She's a sweet old lady, who lets you stay for days on end in her apartment when things in yours are getting a bit too much. Says you remind her of her own kids and grandkids in every way except personality. Mostly. 

She actually enjoys having you around, unlike your parents. 

"This is all from an old show that was on back in the 70s," Grams tells you, pulling some things out of the box. You lean on the arm of the couch to get a peak, seeing it's a few old VHS tapes. A lot of Grams' cartoons are recorded on VHS though, so it's not much of a surprise. "I liked watching it with my kids when they were just young babies. I'd say my oldest was even younger than you when the show first started airing. I had forgotten all about it!" 

You know Grams likes cartoons, her hobby as she tells you. She has a lot of cartoons recorded on VHS tapes, which she first got into so she could record shows for her kids. She has old Winnie the Pooh cartoons, Looney Tunes, Mickey Mouse shorts and the House of Mouse, Tom and Jerry, Josie and the Pussycats, old Betty Boop cartoons, the retro My Little Pony ones, Scooby Doo, The Powerpuff Girls, and just about any oldie cartoons you can think of. She's apparently gotten some off of some network called Boomerang, the Hanna-Barbera cartoons. She's also collected some of the stuff they'd sell for them over the years, toys and mugs mostly.

She's watched some of the newer cartoons too and said she's found quite a few of them rather entertaining and good, but the oldies will always hold a special place in her old heart. 

It's surprising she'd forget about a cartoon with how much she loves them. 

You lean a bit closer to peak into what else is in the box, but jump back when Grams looks over at you again. 

"Would you like to watch this today?" She asks. You timidly nod, Grams shakily standing up with the help of the couch's arm. You come around and climb onto the couch while she puts the VHS into the player. 

You glance towards the box in curiosity, but quickly look away again while sitting up straight. Grams shuffles back to the couch, a kind grin on her face as she settles on the couch again. The VCR whirs a familiar comforting sound you've really begun to associate with this apartment that helps you relax just a bit more. 

The show's title card fades onto the screen once the "snow" disappears, bright and colorful and inviting. The show's called... "Welcome Home" apparently, spelled in bright bubbly letters. The title card fades, the view then panning down to a house with eyes in the window and someone stepping out of the house. 

"Hello, Neighbor," a guy with yellow skin, big blue hair, and lidded eyes greets, a warm smile on his face. His voice is soothing to you as well, helping you relax just a bit more. 

You're... a bit enraptured by the colorful cast and the calm nature of the first character, watching the episode with rapt attention. This episode is about Sally, the one shaped like the sun, putting on a performance with everyone else and it not exactly going as she planned it. It's... fun! 

All too soon the episode ends though, much to your disappointment. But you try not to let that show. Grams still grins at you though, chuckling just a bit. 

"Did you like it?" She asks. You're hesitant to say you did, even if you know Grams wouldn't make fun of you for it or stop letting you watch the show if you did. You force yourself to nod, making Grams smile even wider. "Well, then I say we watch all the episodes I've got in my collection. Doesn't that sound fun? I think I've got some snacks we can munch on while we do. I can make some popcorn too!" 

Grams gets up again and hobbles towards the adjacent kitchen, beginning to rummage through the cupboards in there. She calls your name after a second. 

"Could you come in here and help me carry everything out, Dear?" She asks. You jump up to help her, taking the various bowls and bags she hands you. "What would you like to drink, Dear? I've got apple juice, lemonade, and milk. Oh, I might need to call up Ashley later to get me some more groceries." 

"Apple," you answer, a little quieter than you meant to. You say it again louder, knowing that Grams' hearing isn't as good as it used to be. In her words that is. 

"Alright. Apple juice it is," Grams nods, pouring a cup for you. You take the snacks out to the coffee table, setting it all down while Grams comes back in with two cups of juice. She sets the cups down, switches the VHS tape after rewinding it, and then settles down on the couch again to watch another episode. 

She continuously hands you treats while watching as many episodes as you both can well into the night. But she eventually has to turn in for the night, getting you a nice soft pink quilt to cuddle underneath on the couch. 

"So, who was your favorite character?" Grams asks, pulling your hair up into a bun for you before heading to bed. 

"....I like Wally. He's soft," you replay, quietly. You figure you don't sound very confident in those statements, you don't think you did. 

"I think you two would get along very well," Grams nods, backing up. She heads for the box, looking around inside of it. "I always liked Julie myself when I first watched it so many years ago." 

She turns again when she seemingly finds whatever she was looking for. It turns out to be a toy of the titular character himself, with that soft grin and everything. Old looking, a bit worn, but still in good shape. 

"Here. I'm sure he'd be happy to keep you company tonight," Grams grins, you hesitantly reaching for the doll. She doesn't pull him back and lets you pull him into your lap, hugging him tight to your chest. "There, he looks happier already. Your hugs are a lot warmer than a dusty old box." 

You giggle a little, hiding your smile behind Wally's hairdo. 

Grams then heads into her bedroom, leaving the kitchen light on for you. You lay down on the couch, cuddling the Wally doll under the cover of the cute white and pink quilt. Looking down at the plush, you run your fingers over the soft sweater it's wearing, looking up again at the soft cat-like smile of the character. 

You let out a little squeaky hum, hugging the toy closer to yourself while nuzzling into the pillow. You fall into a pleasant, restful sleep for once. Belly full and, while you still ache all over, content. 

_____ 

"Hey, Grandma. I got your groceries." 

You jump, startled from your focus on the Welcome Home episode playing on the TV to look over at the woman walking in through the front door. She pauses just for a second at the sight of you, but then goes and puts the reusable cloth bags on the counters and starts putting things away. 

"Oh, thank you, Dear. Are you going to visit for a bit?" Grams asks, turning to look at the woman. 

"Yeah, I will," Ashley confirms, nodding as she slides a box into one of the cabinets. Her curly hair bounces with the motions of her head, her leather jacket squeaking before she's sliding it off and tossing it over a chair. 

She finishes putting things away before she's walking over and leaning against the back of the couch. 

"I see the squirt is visiting again," she comments, looking down at you. You hug the Wally toy Grams let you keep a bit tighter. Ashley just ruffles up your hair. "Nice to see you again." 

She then plops down in a chair and turns her attention to the TV. 

"What're you two watching this time?" She sends a confused and curious look to the TV at the completely unfamiliar characters on it. 

"An old show I nearly completely forgot about. I used to watch it with your mother and uncles all the time when they were just kids," Grams replies, looking back at the TV herself. She motions to you, grinning easily. "She's been completely taken by it, and we had more episodes to watch." 

"Huh, neat," Ashley hums, tilting her head a bit more. "Does the little yellow guy always stare at the screen like that?" 

"He's often looking at the screen, yes," Grams nods, looking back at the TV. "He's the one that interacts with the audience the most." 

"I see." Ashley still doesn't look very impressed, if anything she looks a little disturbed. You don't mind it, returning to the colorful characters on the TV.

Ashley stays for a while that night, only getting up to grab things for Grams. But later she goes into the kitchen to make dinner, Grams getting up to head into the bathroom for a moment. That leaves you with only the doll and the TV.

You look between the bathroom and kitchen for a moment to make sure the adults are out of sight, breathing a sigh of relief once you notice they are. You set the doll aside, then pull up your shirt with a bit of a wince. You carefully check the big bruise on your ribs, then the cloth you taped on your side to soak up the blood from the cut underneath it.

Your side really hurts when you move, but you're really sore all over anyway.

You quickly pull your shirt down again at the sound of footsteps, grabbing the Wally plush and looking back at the TV again. You blink when you see Wally frozen on the screen, staring, but then the episode resumes like normal.

"Oh," Ashley hums, pausing right behind the couch. "I thought the episode had stopped for some reason, since the sound disappeared. Guess it worked itself out or something."

She turns and goes back to what she was doing, Grams coming out of the bathroom a moment later. The three of you have dinner in the living room, Mac'n'Cheese with cut up hotdogs. You eat yours quickly and gratefully take seconds when Ashley offers.

She has to leave eventually though, Grams going to bed and leaving you in the living room by yourself again. You let out a breath once everything is quiet and you can hear Grams snoring in the bedroom. You curl closer to the doll in your arms burying your nose into the side of the doll's head.

Your shoulders relax a bit more, sinking into the blanket and couch.

You really like it here, though you know you can't stay forever. And you do eventually have to go back to your parents' apartment, which you do after two more days in paradise and it's the same as before you left. But that's hardly a surprise.

You're excited to be back in Grams' apartment nearly a month later. She's left the Wally doll out for you to take and cuddle with, then puts on the Welcome Home show for you again while she does something else. You're grinning, excited to see it again.

There's a pause in the beginning. It takes a moment for Wally to come out of Home and he's staring wide eyed at the screen. But then the episode is playing as normal again. Even if it's one you've already seen, it still makes you smile. It still brings you the same joy as when you first saw it.

The neighbors are so nice. It..... Home looks very nice and the neighbors all seem to care about each other. You... You think... it'd be nice to be in the neighborhood with them, to play with them and everything. Though sometimes they're a bit loud for your tastes. It still feels... like a warm place to be you think, where you wouldn't get hurt and wouldn't have to hear your parents yelling at you.

Maybe you wouldn't hurt as much there.

"I have to go out today, Dear," Grams says, making you jump. "Would you like to come along?"

You sink into the couch.

"No? Alright. I showed you how to run the VCR, didn't I?" She asks, shrugging a coat on. You nod. "And the phone?"

Another nod.

"Alright then. You can keep watching cartoons here, alright? Call if anything happens," Grams says. You nod in response. You wait a few minutes after the door closes to jump up and head towards the bathroom. You look through the cabinets for some band-aids.

You sit on the couch again, pulling off your shirt to look at the cut. You have to pull the tape and cloth off, wincing the entire time. But the bleeding's stopped, so you don't need the cloth anymore.

You find some of those wipes Grams says is for cleaning wounds in with the band-aids. You remember those hurting a lot, but Grams says they're necessary for the healing process. The cut on your side was healing before, but it's been reopened every time before it could.

Reluctantly, you open one of the packages and swipe it over the cut. No matter how much it makes you whimper and tears threaten your eyes, you do as Grams did and swipe it a few more times. Then you place a line of band-aids over the cut. It makes you feel bad to use so many, but Grams told you it was important to cover the whole thing.

You wince as you finish the job, then look over all the bruises on yourself. Your torso and arms are more black and blue than anything else, your skin nearly wrapping around your ribs. It makes you sniffle a bit. You clean up after yourself, then shakily sit back on the couch and hug the Wally doll again.

Your eyes look up at the TV again, seeing it's paused. You blink, confused for a moment. Wally's just staring at the screen, motionlessly, the other neighbors doing the exact same as him. All like you had hit pause on the remote, but...... you don't remember doing that. Nor do you remember anyone but Wally ever looking at the screen like that, like he can see straight through it at you.

There's a pause for a moment. Then....

"Hello, Neighbor," Wally says, much like he does at the beginning of an episode. You blink. "Poppy wants to know if you're alright. You look.... hurt."

You nod slowly, still confused.

"Good! If you're hurt, it's always important to have someone you trust look over it. Like we do with Poppy," Wally continues. You bury your nose into the Wally doll, but nod slowly.

The last time you showed anyone the bruises, it didn't end well though. Your parents just got even more angry.

Apparently the puppet could see some type of conflict or reluctance on your face.

"Would you like Poppy to look at your boo-boos, Neighbor? You could play with us after," Wally offers, turning to completely face the screen. He's smiling, his eyes are wider than you're used to seeing. "We can make sure you're all better and everyone would love to officially meet you."

You blink a couple of times, tilting your head.

"It'll be lots of fun," Wally assures, giving you a warm look. "The neighborhood is always safe and fun."

You look back towards the door, then at the TV again. After a moment of thinking about the offer, you nod. Wally's grin seems to widen, happy.

"Welcome Home."

_____

Grams sighs as she finds her apartment empty when she gets back. But the TV was turned off and everything's neat and tidy.

"I suppose she wasn't able to stick around for long this time," Grams says, a bit disappointed. "I do hope Ashley is able to help that poor girl before anything happens."

Grams goes about putting away the tapes and the blanket she keeps specially for when you come around. They'll be ready for you the next time you come back, whenever that'll be. She just hopes you come back soon.

[clay-pidgeon]

post title pending. my weird swap au

this is the post im making for scratchswap, my au where i switch the post-scratch kids with the post-scratch trolls sharing their aspect (dirk-nepeta, roxy-equius, jake-eridan, and jane-feferi) and then the pre scratch dudes get swapped accordingly. yes this bc of the Parallels between feferi and jane and then i got a whole Thing out of it. im working on classpects/ages. characters under the cut

pre-scratch trolls

note for the record i did not think much about these guys

johune peixes: i have done 0 thinking on johune so sorry. theyre swapped w meenah and everyones really confused about how that funny little guy was a huge scary empress in every other universe

rozela zahhak: the sorcerer wooooo! pretty similar to canon rose shes just really fucking strong. good friends w aranea

dayves leijon: im still not 100% sure how to go about this one tbh but he does like romance in some form. also i got in in my head hes skittish. no idea where that came from. capitalizes b (glasses) and maybe something else?

jaidli ampora: oh i actually thought about this one a little! fashion is sorta fifties inspired like cronus but shes not a greaser thats his schtick. you dont steal a mans shtick. is there a c in that word or not

post scratch trolls

jaynce peixes: feels like i should work on that name huh. anyways jaynce does Not want to be the heiress (for reasons both transgender and not) at all and is in a little bit of denial about this. i lied actually a lot of denial. may or may not be moirails w jayque havent decided. replaces e and o with -E and -O forks and spoons!

roxxie zahhak: a little more into robots n shit than coding but still does that. bit of a jack of all trades! thinks deyirks lusus (its. kity) is the most special boy in the whole wide world. probably moirails w deyirk now that i think abt it but maybe not. im on the fence abt a lot of stuff here. uses some kind of prefix, emoticons have X for eyes, replaces x sounds with x, y (as a vowel) with ie, and s w z

deyirk leijon: WORLDS MOST NORMAL MAN (lying) lives in a cave in the middle of the woods not for catgirl reasons but because this guy is going insane in solitude works best when isolated. also uses some kind of prefix for a quirk. roxxie drops off robot parts at his house every few weeks and they make a day of it theyre Pals

jayque ampora: he helps feed gloybsub or whatever her name is and hes so normal about the deaths on his conscience. really hes so normal guys cmon. normal

pre scratch kids

mimi egbert: token cis friend sorry meenah. or not idc. more mellow because dad egbert is just a normal guy and isnt raising her to be the literal queen of the world. still meenah tho

hans lalonde: i am unsure about the name but i think its fine. the ultimate horse girl (therian). keeps maplehoof in the foyer. if he had to interact with his dad for more than 20 seconds they would both implode from the sheer awkwardness. the house is big as shit they just gesture to each other when they see each other and thats fine for both of them

manu strider: wears heart shades everywhere as a sort of joke. he doesnt actually know. caps lock is broken and refuses to fix it + uses kaomoji a lot. fujoshi to transmasc pipeline haha who said that

crow harley: im stilling working on which animal to furrify cronus with. watches a bunch of old movies and picked up those speaking habits. other shit pending

post scratch kids

fifi crocker: she wants to be crockercorps new ceo sosososo bad she would make up for all of their horrible crimes against humanity by uh. shes working on it ok?

neta strider: the she/her to she/they to they/them to he/they to he/him to he/they to she/he/they to The Creature pipeline. percentage of their diet that is fish he caught w her own bare hands has been steadily increasing. is trying to buff up on history but keeps on going down wikipedia rabbit holes and rereading the nyan cat article for the thousandth time. would still do the detective pony rewrite but would get sidetracked by the lolcat metaphor for way longer

eqis lalonde: do you know how hard it is to smush equius down to four letters? i just made this name up man. anyways i dunno what to do with her but shes a girl of the horse variety

dani english: diversity win this sickly victorian orphan child is genderfluid! fucking terrified of the lusi on the island. fancies herself sort of a romantic poet

the entirety of this was brainstormed while i was bored in class for the record. still brainstorming so im gonna edit this when more shit arises

[tacticalvalor]

«────── « HEADCANON » ──────»

TAGGED BY: @vendettavalor TAGGING: you!! if you read this, feel free to steal this and tag me in it <3

STATISTICAL CHARACTER PERSONALITY QUIZ || LAVERNE ALBA

Margaery Tyrell (Game of Thrones): 89%

Allison Hargreeves (The Umbrella Academy): 89%

Jules (Superbad): 88%

Donna Paulsen (Suits): 88%

Rebecca Welton (Ted Lasso): 88%

Joan Holloway (Mad Men): 87%

Jordan Baker (The Great Gatsby): 87%

Caroline Forbes (The Vampire Diaries): 87%

Cece Parekh (New Girl): 87%

Satine (Moulin Rouge!): 87%

I only know Jordan Baker and I know for a FACT I have dislcosed (at least in DMs) that I do take inspiration from the way he lives his lifestyle into my portrayal of Laverne so. Accurate enough!

Other than that, though, I literally know none of these characters. So here's some matches I do know:

Sloane Peterson (Ferris Bueller's Day Off): 87%

Anita (West Side Story): 86%

Elizabeth Swann (Pirates of the Caribbean): 85%

Rose DeWitt Bukater (Titanic): 85%

Mel Medarda (Arcane): 84%

Rarity (My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic): 83%

Jasmine (Aladdin): 83%

Princess Leia (Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope): 82%

Princess Fiona (Shrek): 82%

Dr. Robert Chase (House, M.D.): 81%

Which are still pretty accurate, honestly. Laverne is a strong character who just has to find the balance between the two "lives" she lives. I've mentioned it before, especially when considering a Cyberpunk!AU for her, but to take from that previous post:

Even in her canon verse (GTA), she’s this stone-cold corporate executive who takes on the dirty work herself. She doesn’t rely on many people. If anybody ever brings it up, she brushes it off at first, like “I make sure the job is done right. Plus, it’s just part of what I do.” But really, it boils down to feeling the need to be in control to make up for consistent feelings of inadequacy in her developmental years and the loss of one of the few people to validate her.

And that bit holds true to every verse she's in.

The "cold bitch" persona is really a survival tactic for her. She's a socialite at heart, don't get me wrong, but she would go about it so much differently if she didn't have as much weight on her between being a woman in the corporate world and being a somebody in the criminal underground.

[orangechickenpillow]

Losing my mind thinking about an Arcane Western AU. I mean think of how fun that could be?!

Silco

The scariest mother fucker in the West.

Seriously, top-tier bad guy -- smolder, cool jacket and all.

And he's got memorable scars on his face, so he'd probably have a badass nickname given to him by The Law™️

No one crosses him, and if they do they lose a hand (or their head) and it gets mailed back to their wife/sons/whatever.

Has a band of goons that are stupid as shit but follow him around anyway.

Exploits literally everyone.

Jinx

Second scariest mother fucker in the West. Unhinged to the utmost degree.

Silco's second in command (according to her) and don't be fooled -- she waves that shit around like a flag. Gets her whatever she wants, because, threats.

Can shoot like nobody's business. Loves the theatrics of a duel, and always wins.

People tell their children ghost stories about Jinx to keep them in line.

Is a horse girl, and names all her ponies (which are just as crazy as she is - no one can ride them because they are Feral)

For sure blows up a train at some point.

Sevika

Silco's actual right hand man

Sevika in a Pancho take me the fuck out

Does the Torturing™️ and runs the "Errands" (more torturing)

Definitely robs a bank at least once a week

Bar fights. All the time. Sevika enters a bar, there will be Violence

The brothel ladies love her (and she also beats the shit out of the aggressive assholes who threaten them)

Has a long-running beef with the Mayor (of what town, you ask? All of them)

Vi

The Disgruntled Cowboy whose come back from war or something

Has complex PTSD and attitude issues, but once you get to know her she’s just a big softie

Isn’t the best shot, but will still Fuck You Up

Punches her way through everything

Bar fights. Almost as notorious as Sevika, and just as destructive 

Remember those brothel ladies? Yup, they love her too (Sevika and Vi out her doing god’s work for the sapphics, am I right)

Will break like five different bones and still save some poor little town from being overrun by outlaws the next day

Wears a Lucky Hat that she’s had since the beginning of time. Will not let any other hat touch her head. Will go back for said hat even if it means risking her life. 

Thigh holster

Caitlyn 

The damn best shot in the West

Heart of gold, law-abiding citizen 

Probably the sheriff of somewhere

Wears a slouch hat (!!!) and looks damn good in it 

Would not hesitate to shoot a man in the foot. Dude is a misogynistic asshole? Oops, her finger slipped. And no one will ever know because she’s the sheriff. It’s a good system

Likes locking bad guys in the clink (definitely refers to it as “the clink”)

Has a moral dilemma when a certain Disgruntled Cowboy rides into town looking for the nearest saloon

Has a gay awakening because of beforementioned Disgruntled Cowboy and says fuck the law before riding off into the sunset

Thigh holster

Jayce

The mayor that Sevika has beef with

Is that one character in all westerns and western-themed media that provides a little bit of exposition, but is otherwise unhelpful in every way possible

Insists on wearing a shiny badge even though he is not the sheriff (which Caitlyn has told him many times and he still won’t listen)

Probably takes in like five different orphans because look at them he can’t just leave them all alone

Thinks that anyone who breaks the law is a threat to his fine little town and the fine little people that live there

Probably has a mustache, idk

Definitely wears spurs even though he doesn’t have a clue how to ride a horse

Everyone teases him about this

Viktor

Local chemist by day, unhinged mad scientist by night

Wishes everyone would stop coming to him with their injuries because “I am not technically a doctor and you are bleeding all over my lab equipment get outttttttt”

Anyone who manages to notice him thinks he’s a sweet little guy 

Knows how to kill and dismember a man before anyone notices a thing (...don’t ask)

Isn’t great with a gun -- but knives, on the other hand.... (again, don’t ask)

Isn’t above beating the shit out of people with his cane. Which also has a secret knife built into the handle

Has a running tab at the local saloon, which no one but himself and the owner knows about. Secretly never plans on paying it off. 

Can’t ride very comfortably because of his leg, but has a horse, whom he loves very much and always gives treats and scratches to

Thinks the mayor is hot but won’t do anything about it

Has a Sexy Pocket Watch

[pluckyredhead]

What did Tom King do to Kara?

you don't like woman of tomorrow? thats interesting, from what i can tell that seems to be one of king's least uncontroversial DC works and gets unanimous praise from the fandom + comic readers in general (not that i've read it myself, just from what i've seen)

Combining these two related asks!

I want to start out by saying that ALL of my problems are with the writing - Bilquis Evely's art is breathtaking and I wish it was being used to tell a story that deserves it.

I have two problems with Woman of Tomorrow:

King does the same thing to her that he has done with literally every other character, which is to cherrypick their history to tell the bleakest, most nihilistic, least heroic story possible. It's not super noticeable with Batman because Bruce is kind of always in that zone, but it's very obvious with characters like Wally West (Heroes in Crisis: Therapy Is Bad and Will Kill You), the JLI in Human Target, and Kara. His Kara is a depressed, foulmouthed, murderous drunk who spends the entire book suffering physical and mental torments. I am just so exhausted by the lack of creativity. Dude is a one trick pony and I don't understand why this isn't more widely recognized. (Oh wait, I do, it's because pessimism is so often mistaken for genius, and also he loves a nine panel grid which too many people think immediately makes a comic Deep (TM) instead of just copying Watchmen.)

THE STORY ISN'T EVEN ABOUT HER!!! The main character is Ruthye, the alien girl who hires Supergirl to avenge the death of her father. Ruthye narrates the book. Ruthye drives the plot. Ruthye has the emotional arc. Kara could be replaced by any Super or other strong alien - J'onn, Sodam Yat, fucking LOBO - and the story would be exactly the same. (Because it would be True Grit. It's literally just True Grit But Supergirl Is There.)

Now, there's a place for bleak and even completely pessimistic, nihilistic stories - but Supergirl ain't fucking it. Supergirl was created to give little girls a heroine to look up to who had all the powers of Superman. She is aspirational and inspirational. She is joy.

Woman of Tomorrow is aggressively Not For Little Girls. To me, it radiates a deep contempt for the idea of Supergirl as a happy, kid-friendly character. It drags her through the mud on purpose, and then looks at you like it's making a point, but the point is just "mud exists." Yeah, Tom, I know. WE ALL KNOW.

(In general, King seems to really hate the idea of "nice" girls - look at what he did to Tora in Human Target. There's an issue of WoT that flashes back to Kara's origin and the destruction of Krypton - except it goes all the way back to the Silver Age, which is a generally bright and happy era, and pulls directly from that version of events while also making it as bleak as possible. Like, at one point Kara finds a dead baby on the sidewalk. HE PUT A DEAD BABY IN THE SILVER AGE. HE IGNORED THE FACT THAT THIS ORIGIN IS FOUR REBOOTS OUT OF DATE IN ORDER TO PUT A DEAD BABY IN THE SILVER AGE.)

I wouldn't be nearly as angry about this book if it wasn't capping off 20 years of DC treating Kara like shit, but since she returned in 2003, they have had her try to murder Clark, had her sexually preyed on by Darkseid, implied an incestuous relationship with her father, had her be abused, made her a blood-vomit-spewing Red Lantern (an arc I actually liked because Guy Gardner as Kara's Space Dad has my whole heart, but it's part and parcel of Angry Violent Sexy Kara), had her infected by the fucking Batman Who Laughs, and more. And that's when they even bother to publish her! They refused to give her a 60th anniversary special in 2019 because "she has a TV show," even though Two-Face got a 75th anniversary special a couple years before. Fucking Two-Face!!! Kara didn't even have a regular comic for much of the run of her show, because why court an audience of millions when so many of them are icky women?

Grant Morrison said it recently and said it best (they were talking about "Superman as fascist," but I think it applies to this too):

"Why, I say, oh why, is it so hard to simply serve the concept and write the adventures of a smart, creative and kind-hearted teenage girl with superpowers?

[...]

"To undermine the fundamental appeal of superheroes like Superman and Supergirl by re-casting them as anti-heroes at best or outright monsters - dragging imaginary childhood paragons off their pedestals to reinforce a fairly facile point about the tendency of real world heroes to exhibit feet of clay, struck me and strikes me still as imaginatively lazy.

"Using kids’ adventure heroes to make hackneyed observations about typical human behaviour that does not in fact apply to made up comic book characters strikes me as – I don’t know - whimsical? Dilettantish? A squandering of energy and creativity?"

Supergirl isn't for the edgelords of the world. She isn't a tool for reiterating, yet again, that life is pointless and full of pain. She is intended to inspire little girls, and anyone who doesn't understand that has no business writing her.

[creepy-feathers]

Okay y'all, I see a lot of people listing off various t-word scenes in movies/books, yet they always somehow manage to leave out my favorites?? Like does nobody know they exist or something?

Well anyway. I'm here to fix that.

There is a really good one in Love Comes Softly (the movie, idk if it's the same in the book), and I can't give a timestamp cause I haven't watched it in forever, but it's after Marty has had her baby. A short chase scene, then the magic happens.

The Vow, and oml this movie is a gold mine. A literal. Gold mine. The best ones happen within the first fifteen - twenty minutes (if I'm remembering correctly), and last several seconds. Here's a mind blower - it is openly said that Paige (the girl that receives it) likes to be tickled, so her husband does it often. I was so happy, even though my mom was in the same room, like I could barely contain the euphoric laughs I wanted to release while watching it.

Liar Liar. Yes, the Jim Carrey movie. There's a short one at some point in the beginning (again, haven't watched it in years but these scenes stay in my memory), in which a father pulls out "The Claw" and gives his son a good laugh, and right before the credits roll, it's heavily implied that tickling is happening behind the walls of the house we can no longer see.

RV, and this is pretty similar to Liar Liar, in which case a dad is shown tickling his kid - a little girl - this time. If I recall, it doesn't last more than a couple of seconds, but still cute all the same.

Pixar - A Bug's Life, Toy Story, Up, Inside Out, Ratatouille, Cars 2. If I'm leaving any out, please let me know. Most of these are brief (what one would probably expect) but I wrote them down anyway.

Disney - Jungle Book, Beauty and the Beast, Little Mermaid 3, Alice In Wonderland, Lilo & Stitch, Tarzan 1 and 2, The Rescuers: Down Under, Bridge To Terabithia, etc. This kinda bums me out, as Disney often included tickle scenes in their movies back then, but they don't anymore. At least we have nice ones to look back on!

Annihilation, and this is honestly one of my all-time favorites. There's only one, from what I remember, but it's so good! Basically Natalie Portman and her hubby are laying in bed together, and (I think?) she says some sassy remark and it prompts him to tickle her.

Coraline. So the producers actually included this scene in the trailer, and I was probably eleven the first time I saw it. The moment I did, I was urging my family "yeah, it looks like a good movie! Let's watch it!" so we did. It was awesome. Also, I will shamelessly admit that I want my own Snap Dragons.

My Little Pony. Okay, I know this isn't a movie or book, but it's still worth mentioning, most notably  "The Magic Duel", "Just For Sidekicks", and "It's About Time".

Ride the Wind by Lucia St. Claire Robinson. This book is absolutely full of beautiful tickle scenes, and if you're willing to deal with the tragedy and brutal nature of its characters' culture, you will be pleasantly surprised. My favorite one happens over the halfway mark, but there are plenty to keep you satisfied 'til then :) Just keep in mind that this story is not a light-hearted one, so if you decide to read it, prepare to sob. A lot.

Dragon Tails. This is another children's show that would showcase tickling a lot. In every other episode, I'd say - there was even one about actual tickle monsters, and one that had a flower that tickled you, so that was a gleeful time for my kid self.

This one is exceedingly random and I swear I just remember tidbits because I was like four, but there is a short scene in ‘Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: The Movie’. I literally have no clue when, or where, or who it happens to, but I know it does happen. That was like half the reason I was so obsessed with that movie when I was little XD

Be More Chill, the recording with the original cast. It’s like a two-second scene but I swear it looks like Michael reaches over and tickles Jeremy, hence why the latter reels away the way he does. I’m unconvinced it’s anything less than that, and maybe that’s just cause I’m obsessed with the idea of Michael being a super physically affectionate (yet still mischievous) lil’ bean, but I digress. This is the video, and the timestamp is roughly 26:12. 

Little Monsters. Despite how stupid this movie may be, it was still a large portion of my childhood, and I recently went back and watched it. I rediscovered a very solid tickle scene that I somehow never recalled between Brian and his father. It was very cute and I was pleasantly surprised. It’s around the first half, I think? When Brian stays in Eric’s room the first time.

These are all I can think of at the moment, though I will probably be adding more eventually! It just annoyed me how so many great scenes were being missed out on because nobody remembered/knew about them. So here they are! I hope I informed you~

[thearchvillain]

of horsefairs and maidens. part 2

nikolai lantsov x reader

link to part 1

summary: The moonless, warm summer night has stretched itself across Caryeva and the duke’s estate where a grand dinner is held in the gardens, in honour of both the horse fair and the princes’ visitation. Nikolai has found himself sat across the table from his brother and both the girl with the broken horse and her father, restrained to only occasional glances and the agitation that simmers beneath his skin, amplifying every time he catches her eyes. It’s all he can do to remain in his seat, even as they leave for the evening at Razumov’s, even as the night drags on - at least until the late hours of the night, too late for sensible decisions.

Nikolai smirked at her, as if to alleviate the seriousness of her warning, "Do you take me for anything less than a gentleman? And here I was thinking I had you charmed Irina, you break my heart. We were just talking."

But Irina didn't look concerned, only amusement lined her features as she sipped her drink, and a bit of motherly sympathy, "Oh my dear prince, you have us all smitten, but it's not her I'm worried about.", she twisted in her seat, to call for a waiter, and said over her shoulder, "And hasn't your mother taught you - nothing's quite as dangerous as talking to a girl like her."

word count: 2.9k

warnings: mentions of alcohol

A/N: well, apparently, this will not be a two parter... i’d claim i was shocked if i wasn’t used to myself going overboard the moment i get hooked on writing the characters ._. i’ve got part 3 down on the paper already (or a word document, but paper sounds more romantic) and it’s 100% focused on their interaction. in this one i really wanted to focus on building up the tension so there’s a lot of Nikolai’s thoughts and frustrations in here, glances cast and warnings given, the whole shebang  i really hope you like it, even if it’s kinda lacking in direct interaction for the sake of angst, and once again i want to thank everyone who commented and was so sweet and kind i had no other choice than to rush back excitedly and write my heart out <3 you’re the best! 

The dinner was an intricate display of wealth, as grand and carefully arranged as the jewels of a vain woman. One without an ounce of style anyway. The long tables were laden with complicated food, even the ones away from the main table that was orbited by the wealthy, to show off the generosity of the host. He'd even heard his brother say, as a compliment no less, that it seemed even the dogs here ate well. Clearly, he'd wanted to say, since you're here with your plate filled to the brim, brother. 

Now the porcelain plate sat before him, the food half-eaten and the glass of finest red wine all finished, as he listened to the war stories offered up to him by an old man with a hefty silver-streaked beard and heftier rosy cheeks, coloured by what must have been a fourth glass of wine. Nikolai would pop into the conversation here and there, if only to show he was paying attention, though he knew well enough that people never really wanted to listen, only to be heard.

"Tell me about your daughter - Alyona, is it?" 

The man reeled for a moment, his moustache shifting as he tried to remain dignified while choking on a sip of wine, as dignified as a startled walrus anyway. "You know of my daughter, your highness? Irina--", he turned to his wife at this, near breathless, "Did you hear that? He asked about Alyona!" 

The old lady had the common sense not to egg him on too much, only smile and nod as if she knew matching his excitement would mean a definitive death by boredom for Nikolai. And he was thankful for that.

But to be fair, Nikolai hadn't really known of Alyona, only heard her name from the girl with the broken horse when she passed by him in between meal courses, stopping only to cast a glance towards the old general and say, "Ask him about his daughter, Alyona - Saints forbid you ever require it, but he'll raise an entire army for you just for that little bit of kindness. He's very fond of her." 

"Is she pretty?", he didn't want to seem like a liar if that was what he complimented the daughter on instead of her smarts, or talent for music. 

The girl had raised an eyebrow, then looked back at him, "Does it matter? Fathers like him always think their girls are the prettiest. They're not wrong."

He'd wanted to stop her then, to ask her about the general's wife, or his dog, or anything really - and it would've been as easy as reaching out to take her wrist in his hand, had she not slipped back into the crowd and disappeared as quickly as she'd appeared by his side. 

Now he took his glass of wine, filled once again by one of the waiters, and held that instead, his eyes wandering across the table to where his brother sat, red-cheeked and rowdy. She was sat next to him, straight-backed and so still Nikolai thought she might have been a vision or a sculpture wrought in alabaster had the light evening wind not stirred the sheer silk of her gown and made it all come alive. It fell in rich waves off her shoulders, plentiful, but not plentiful enough to hide the gentle slope of her neck where it dipped to her chest, interrupted only by a fine necklace of tiny emeralds, or the wrists that glided through the motions as she picked at the food. 

The wine had made him too unwilling to look away, and he'd nearly caught his brother's eyes over the rim of his glass, so now he had to drag his gaze back to the general, who was near breathless talking about Alyona's adventures with the pony he bought for her. 

"...and I told Irina, no man of sound mind would let his little girl on that beast."

The beast being a pony, Nikolai supposed. 

"Did you think she would just pet it? It's not a cat.", this was the wife, sounding tired in a way only a woman who'd heard this story a million times and still thought it stupid, could. 

"You should've at least let me call Orlov's girl, I swear that creature was born on the damn horse! That form! We could've used her in the cavalry!"

"That poor thing's got enough on her mind with a father like that, and for Saint's sake stop recruiting people at dinner parties."

This time Nikolai interrupted, however riveting this exchange was, "The Orlov's girl?" 

Irina cast him a surprised glance, "Yes, that pretty thing with your highness' brother? I thought you met her." 

Now Nikolai had an actual excuse to look her away, and he wasn't about to throw it away. This time, she had her hands folded in her lap and Vasily at her ear speaking something delightfully stupid, no doubt. Nikolai watched her drag her teeth across her lower lip, still so mesmerized by the way it popped back into place that he was near startled when her eyes slipped straight to him. 

She did not smile. But maybe that was for the better because even from across the table he could see the muscles in her cheek twitch, as if she was dragging the corners of her lips down with the sheer force of will, not quite as restrained as she'd hoped to be. He realised she was trying not to smile, and somehow that made his mind reel more than any unbridled grin a girl at this table could've offered him. She downcast her eyes, lashes brushing against her cheek as she busied herself with the bracelet on her wrist, and Nikolai sipped his wine to drive away the urge to keep staring, to keep trying to provoke her until she could not hold that smirk back.

But then Vasily brushed the stray lock of her hair back and her features stilled as if all that pertness had been drained from them instantly, a muscle played in her jaw before she lifted her eyes and smiled prettily. Not at Nikolai, though. He saw an older man sitting to her left tap her hand like one would when a dog's performed a trick well, and Nikolai felt his muscles tense. Vasily beamed, Nikolai gripped his glass, her father looked at her like she was his golden ticket. 

"A vile man.", Irina said over her glass. 

Nikolai hadn't noticed, but the general was now busy entertaining the waiter with questions about the wine, and only his wife was fully present, the lines of her face arranged into a look of dignified distaste. She was speaking to Nikolai.

"Count Orlov?" 

"He treats that poor girl like property.", her upper lip curled, "And unfortunately the Saints haven't given her a bad temper, so she listens." 

Nikolai leaned back in his chair, swirling the wine as he followed Irina's gaze to his brother, drunk on wine and forced smiles from a pretty girl, "I don't think she's as helpless as you paint it."

"Oh, she's not. She's playing them both like a fiddle. I'm just saying, at her age, I would've wreaked havoc by that point.", she shrugged, "I'm not a subtle woman, you see."

"Ha!", the general was joining the conversation once again, now that he'd gotten his wine, "Listen to what she tells you! She's a wild animal, that one!" 

"Darling. Not in front of a prince." 

"What?", to his credit, he did look genuinely confused, "His highness doesn't mind, do you? I'm just saying my wife's always been a force of nature, no shame in that! She's a scary woman, it's a good thing to have by your side." 

Nikolai did not, indeed, mind at all. He was just trying not to choke on the wine as laughter bubbled up from his chest, especially when Irina raised an eyebrow at her husband, and he could see her attempting not to grin at that strange assemble of compliments. Their bickering was felt like a light summer breeze, a welcome reprieve from the tension he could feel simmering in the air, across the table.

"It's the wine.", she turned her gaze to Nikolai, still smirking, "Don't mind him."

"Ha! And what explanation do you have for that sharp tongue?" 

"I married an idiot and was forced to evolve because of it." 

"Please, when I first mustered up the courage to ask her for a dance--", this was directed at Nikolai as the large man shifted in his seat, "And mind you, I've been less afraid for my life on the battlefield than in front of that woman! You know what she told me? She told me to break a leg and see if that helps with my coordination.", he leaned to the side to cast his wife a look over Nikolai, "You've always had that sharp tongue on you, my love." 

Nikolai raised an eyebrow at her, "Was he that bad?"

Beaming because he didn't immediately sympathise with her husband, Irina shrugged in feigned disdain, "No, he was quite handsome and good on the floor, still is. You just can't let them forget how lucky they are to even have you looking in their direction."

"What can I say, my girl knows her business! I fell for it, hook, line and sinker."

Nikolai was the one charmed, for once, but his eyes still strayed to the other side of the table, even as the old couple continued lovingly bickering beside him. Vasily was up and about, and the girl and her father were following close behind, the valet running around guiding them towards a carriage that was waiting on the other side of the fence. 

"Where are they going?", he schooled his voice into one of mild disinterest, fit of a prince not particularly invested in his brother's dalliances. Beneath it all though, he felt dangerous, like he was being suspended on the edge of getting up and following - his brother was a nasty, distasteful creature on good days, and this wasn't even one of those. 

"Mister Razumov's.", Irina answered, because the general was now waving wildly demanding another piece of those little lemon cakes, "New money. Wild parties. Wilder vices. Gambling and alcohol are galore. They'll come to invite you too." 

He did not doubt that - even his brother's title had nothing on Nikolai's charm or the exclusivity of having him there on the rare occasion that he was home instead of on the front. It still did little to placate him as he watched them climb into the carriage, his brother's slimy hand holding hers as he helped up the steps, her hair tossed wildly across her bare back as she turned one last time to cast a glance Nikolai's way. He held her eyes for a moment, both their faces still as stone, then watched her disappear behind carriage's curtains as he sipped his wine, wondering wildly if he should even go. 

What good would it do? Her father would be there, watching, and there was no money to be made with a prince that had an interest only in books and weapons, no matter how charming he was. He cleared his throat and finished the glass. He'd just get her in trouble - it wasn't like Nikolai himself was particularly known as a voice of reason, he preferred to stick to an assemble of charming qualities, like ill-advised impulses and regret.

"You could stay, you know?", this was Irina again, sounding less like a wild animal her husband had described, and more like a mother. At least what Nikolai imagined mothers sounded like. Sympathetic. 

"Sorry?"

"Do you think I'll get this big boulder to move and go home anytime soon?", she nodded towards her husband, then smiled, "Some of us stay here instead of going to Razumov's, there's music and food and wine, good company too. If your highness hasn't been scared away by our marital displays."

"Please, call me Nikolai.", his usual glib smirk had slipped back onto his lips, as easy as a mask, "And no, I must admit, I'm quite charmed by the displays. Tell me, Irina, where does one get one of those?" 

She didn't look quite convinced, but she smiled still, "You stumble upon it, by Saint's will, and then you can't look away. The lucky ones, anyway.", she cleared her throat, "Stay, it would be quite the honour." 

"All mine. Your husband's a great general. And the royalty never gets enough servings from sharp tongues anyway."

"My husband's a fool.”, she shrugged lightly, “But I make up for it in the charms department." 

"I heard that woman!", there was no ire in general’s voice, and it was merely a passing comment as he waved at the poor waiter again, "Would one of you penguins like to explain why the prince's glass is empty?" 

Nikolai hadn't wondered about that, but now that it was brought up he felt like another glass and a distinct lack of his brother might be of help, "Why do you assume I won't go?" 

"Because you've been staring at that girl all night."

Nikolai's head snapped from the waiter back to Irina, and he caught the traces of a grin in the corners of her lips as she sipped her wine. Had he been that obvious? He didn't think so, but the wine and conversation might have made him sloppy - it was one thing to avoid provoking Vasily into being even creepier due to jealousy, another to avoid someone like Irina.

"Don't be so shocked young prince, that big buffoon used to look at me like that, once. I'd spot it anywhere, like a good game in the forest. She could barely stop smirking. It's quite painful, you know, not to smile when you catch someone looking at you like that. I must admit, she’s quite adept."

Nikolai considered telling her that big buffoon certainly still did look at her like that, but he was assuming she already knew that. She didn't look like a woman who'd settle for anything less. "Well, to be fair, I've been told I am quite dashing. She can't really be blamed." 

This made her laugh, in the way experienced older people do when they're charmed by some youngling's naivete, "Tell her that and see what comes back at you."

"I've already tried, it wasn't pretty."

Irina leaned in, conspirational, "That's why it's fun. My husband told you already. Hook, line and sinker. The girl knows how it's done.", then she leaned back, more serious, "It's why I'd stay away if I were you. We have plenty of food, wine and girls for you here. You're all the rage." 

Nikolai smirked at her, as if to alleviate the seriousness of her warning, "Do you take me for anything less than a gentleman? And here I was thinking I had you charmed Irina, you break my heart. We were just talking."

But Irina didn't look concerned, only amusement lined her features as she sipped her drink, and a bit of motherly sympathy, "Oh my dear prince, you have us all smitten, but it's not her I'm worried about.", she twisted in her seat, to call for a waiter, and said over her shoulder, "And hasn't your mother taught you - nothing's quite as dangerous as talking to a girl like her." 

***

The night dragged on, or perhaps dragged wasn't exactly the right word. The general had a way of livening up the place even as the people cleared, some to go to Razumov's, others to go to sleep in their beds. The brave ones that stayed - and there were quite a few after he did some rounds about the tables - were unable to leave because he'd managed to somehow get more food, more alcohol and more musicians, and no one of sound mind would leave this wild story he'd spun around them. They laughed and spoke of war and danced under the clear night sky, the air tinted with the scent of burning wood and meat and laughter. 

Nikolai had nearly forgotten, how much heart there was in nights like these, how much he loved the people and the songs and this country. He himself had danced and laughed and drank, and was now sitting on a chair rocking himself precariously on two of its legs, wrapped in that safety blanket of stupor that came with late hours of the night, or early hours of the morning, watching the general and his wife swirl in front of the musicians. 

He wondered how they were still up and going, much less dancing, though he could guess that alcohol, and a lot of it, had something to do with it. And alcohol, and a lot of it, had something to do with no one noticing a figure sitting upright on a horse somewhere out behind the fence, in the deep darkness of a moonless night. The silks shifted around the figure, carried by the breeze, like something out of Tolya's stories of spectres and hallucinations haunting the fallen battlefields. Nikolai thought wildly that there must be one about a ghost-girl on a horse, haunting the minds of men in moonless nights, with silks made out of moonlight and cruel elegance draped across her shoulders. Or something like that. 

Nikolai let his chair hit the ground and was up before the girl who'd been talking to him had even managed to look confused by his sudden change in mien. He drained his glass before putting it down on the table with a bit too much force and slid through the crowd that had gathered by the band. 

Tolya’s story would have probably been meant as a warning to young men not to head towards those strange apparitions, or something equally ominous, but Nikolai never put much stock in the stories anyway, especially not ones made up by his drunken mind as he followed after her into the darkness. She looked improbable, sitting tall on that horse waiting for him, but not impossible. And that was good enough for him. 

tags: @mentally-in-northern-italy 

please feel free to comment or hit me up in the DMs (even if you just want to talk because honey i’m THERE for it) if you’d like to be tagged when the next part comes out! 

[spookierdeer]

here’s the mane 6 all together. i went through a couple edits of them until i was happy with them and i think i’m finally set on them now!

fun facts below the cut

when they move in together, fluttershy stocks up on lint rollers. not for fur or dust that you’d expect to see due to her veterinary practice, but because pinkie tends to leave a trail of glitter and confetti. this is especially noticable when she’s bouncing around.

pinkie is an earth pony born with latent chaos magic. this is really rare and exhibited itself in strange ways when she was a foal. as a grown mare, she can control it better, even if it still catches people off guard on occasion.

fluttershy is a flutter pony purely because i heard jenny nicholson talk about it once and i got it stuck in my head. she’s very tall however, super willowy compared to earth ponies (as are most flutter ponies).

fluttershy is taller than both rarity and starlight glimmer, but it’s hard to tell as she keeps her head down and this makes her appear slightly smaller.

fluttershy runs the ponyville vet clinic and is an animal whisperer. she also patches up her more rambunctious friends from time to time.

fluttershy is the begrudging midwife to her friends because some of them are ridiculous and don’t go to the doctor when they should. she is very tired and deserves every cup of coffee she makes them buy her after the fact.

the flutter pony gene is more dominant than most other species genes, so if any non flutter pony and a flutter pony have a foal, it usually ends up being a flutter pony. the only exception are kirin.

rainbow dash is a trans mare

rainbow is the second shortest of the mane 6, barely taller than pinkie. don’t mention it or she’ll destroy your knee caps.

rainbow can also pack away calories like nopony else. do not challenge her to an eating contest or you’ll end up sick and regretting it.

apple jack is average earth pony height which means she’s dwarfed by her flutter and unicorn friends. twilight is on the smaller side of unicorns (as sunset shimmer).

aj is a disaster lesbian. she’s tripped into mud quite a few times around pretty mares. no, she does not want to talk about it.

aj is also well known in ponyville and beyond for being one of the best no holds barred wrestlers around. before she became a mom, she also did some mud wrestling. once she had her foals, she put that behind her if only because it took time away from farm work she didn’t have; she’s still jacked, however.

twilight sparkle is a hornless unicorn, a very rare birth defect. she had to deal with a lot of bullying growing up because of how mules and donkies tend to be the butt of the joke to the average pony. she also had to deal with her tail being stepped on a lot, so as an adult she keeps it tucked to her side.

despite her lack of horn, twilight still has magic abilities. they can be very wild and hard to control due to not having a horn conduit. she spends most of her young life learning how to handle this and becomes one of the most learned unicorns of her time.

twilight is asexual/demiromantic.

rarity is 1/4th mule and gets her long ears from her dad’s side of the family. this has been a topic of rumor amongst the other fashion moguls and like of manehatten. some have even gone so far as to say her horn is fake and other ridiculous claims. rarity would originally just scoff and act as if she couldn’t possibly be related to a mule, but eventually learns her lesson friendship story style after hearing similar rumors about twilight.

the two go on to help stop uhh fuckin discrimination against mules and donkies i guess?? holy shit i didn’t mean to make it a racial allegory but here i am fuck dude, anyway

on a different note, twilight is in a polyam relationship with rainbow dash and tempest shadow. she loves both her girls very much.

rarity is a disaster bi, but in a different way than apple jack. rarity is accidentally an embarrassing asshole to cute ponies and this is what lead to a lot of fights between rarity and other members of the mane 6. the only one who almost never took it to heart was pinkie because she could tell just how embarrassed rarity felt and that she wasn’t doing rude things intentionally. pinkie and eventually fluttershy help rarity stop being such a dunce around cute ponies.

rarity eventually stops dying her grey hair away. she does it out of anxiety, but eventually aj and her friends help her relax a little and understand that going grey isn’t going to mean she isn’t beautiful.

bonus fun facts about other characters i’ve drawn, but haven’t listed here:

tempest shadow is blind in one eye.

lyra and bonbon are happily married.

angel has a love/hate relationship with pinkie. she’s so nice and knows how to brush angel just right, but the mare is taking cuddle time with fluttershy away >:(

starlight glimmer is the only voice i have a headcanon for and it’s heather mcnamara from the off broadway production of heathers. (example)

sunset shimmer is the shortest unicorn i’ve designed so far. she’s shorter than pinkie pie and is an absolute bitch. (i love her.) she is also married to starlight glimmer; they are the bitchy moms at PTA meetings who will destroy you <3

derpy hooves is named ditzy doo in my au. she’s a postpony and scrunchie collector.

dr hooves is named tick turner and he makes and repairs watches and clocks.

bulk biceps is a personal trainer. he breaks his coffee mugs a lot.

ditzy, tick, and bulk biceps are all dating each other in a polyam relationship. for their anniversary, ditzy and tick bought bulk some super nice metal cast mugs; bulk ended up crying a little because he’s a big emotional baby. they love him.

if uve read it this far thank u for listening 2 me. plz talk to me about my ponies i love them <3

[godofsexdrugsandrocknroll]

Growing Pains

Nala Arc: *Jaune’s sixteen year old daughter with thick blonde hair pulled back in a low pony, blonde cat ears atop her head with her grandfather Ghira’s yellow eyes* --Yes Daddy.

Jaune: *Very seriously* And you’ve got your scroll.

Nala: *Shows it off* Yup.

Jaune: Your purse?

Nala: *Rolls eyes* Duh.

Jaune: And your pepper spray, mace, rape whistle and extra ammo?

Nala: *Sighs* Yes, yes, of course and even if I tried to leave the dust out you’d find a way to smuggle it in anyways, Daddy.

Jaune: *Ignores the sass* Okay, good. Good.  And you have--

Nala: *Growing impatient* --Yes, Dad, I have Pride. *Shows off twin automatic pistols in black and gold, connected by a thin gold chain and shifts it into weighted chain form before reshifting and holstering it*

Jaune: Okay, Dormiens Leo?

Nala: *Stomps foot* Dad, c’mon! I’m not taking my freaking sword on my first date!

Jaune: *Hands up, backtracking* Right, yeah, of course sweetpea! *Pauses*

Nala: *Stares at her father cautiously*

Jaune: Are you sure you don’t wanna wear the belt I bought you?

Nala: *Explodes* No! It looks nice, it looks normal, it’s super flippin’ cute but I know you had it custom made, I know it’s a high tech chastity belt that locks as soon as you put it on and only you have the code to it! Besides, I’m not even t-thinking about having that, about having s-sex with Dutch! *Blushing*

Jaune: *Gapes* W-who told you--

Nala: *Grumbling, not looking him in the eye* Mom.

Blake: *Entering the room, wiping her hands with a towel and tossing it on the table* And I’d do it again. Because, Jaune, you are overreacting.

Jaune: B-but she’s going on a date! With a boy!

Blake: *Cocks eyebrow* Mmm. So if it was a girl then it’d be okay?

Jaune: What? No! Boy or girl, doesn’t matter! *Hugs an irritated Nala fiercely* She’s my baby girl! She’s d-d-- *whispers* dating, Blake!

Blake: *Smiling* Uh-huh. And she’ll continue to date. One day - when she’s ready - she’ll even have sex. *Jaune whines and Nala turns into a tomato* But right now, you big baby, our little girl is going on her first date. She is being very safe, especially when you take into consideration that our daughter is highly trained, has two weapons and her King’s Flare semblance makes every fire semblance we’ve ever come across look like matchsticks. *Peels Jaune off of Nala*

Nala: *Embarrassed* Mooom!

Blake: *Fixes her daughters top, smoothes out her hair* She has her guns, she has common sense and honestly honey, she has my brains.

Jaune: *Long pause* I kinda think that last one mighta been an insult, but I do have to agree with you there.

Blake: Besides, Dutch is an athlete, not a Huntsman. No aura. You need to calm down.

*Jaune mutters mutinously, crossing his arms and Nala sighs and hugs her mother*

Nala: Thanks Mom. *Stands in front of Jaune, fidgets* Daddy?

Jaune: *Dramatic sigh* Ugghhh, I hate it when your mom makes sense. *Hugs Nala who squeezes him and puts her head on his shoulder* Just...have fun, okay? Don’t stay out too late, don’t do anything you don’t want to and you’re, uh...

Nala: *Rolls her eyes* It’s that neo-Valean restaurant near Auntie Nora and Uncle Lie’s neighborhood. If Dutch turns out to be a jerk, Auntie Nora will probably wind up leveling the place.

Jaune: *To Blake* Maybe we should give Ren the heads up instead of miss ‘Goddess of Boom’.

Blake: *To Jaune* Already called him. He has Nora busy with the twins tonight. *Smiles as Jaune kisses her cheek*

*The parents watch their daughter fuss over her hair, reapply lip gloss and fidget with her top, her ears twitching all the while and the door opens to an athletic young man with brown hair and dark green eyes*

Nala: *A few minutes later* --good that you all met, but we’re gonna miss the movie if we don’t go to dinner now. *Smiles brightly* C’mon, Dutch!

Dutch: *Grins, blushing a bit* Right, Nala. *To Blake* Bye Mrs. Arc. *To Jaune, winces* M-Mr. Arc. It was really nice to meet you. *Jaune just nods with a smile* I’llhaveherbackbytenbye!

Blake:

Jaune:

Blake: You just had to pull the whole ‘I am Paladin, Slayer of Salem’ thing, didn’t you.

Jaune: *Crosses arms petulantly* I have no idea what you mean, Blake.

Blake: *Rolls her eyes* Oh sure. Because you’re usually stern, terrifying and pushing your aura out to create killing intent.

Jaune: *Annoyed* If I was it must’ve just been instinct since he was checking of my sweet little girls behind.

Blake: *Snorts*

Jaune: *Whining* Blaaake! It’s not funny! She doesn’t even have your ass--

Blake: Oh she does. Just not my hips. Plus she’s more petite like your sister, Celeste.

Jaune: Nope, stop. But even still, that little fucker--

Blake: Is a teenage boy who thought he was being subtle. Who probably hasn’t asked out a future Huntress before, let alone the daughter of two veterans, even less two of the most talented swordspeople alive. *Takes Jaune’s hand and rubs a circle into his palm with her thumb* I know Nala growing up like this is making you a little crazy because of all your sisters and the fact that you were once a teenage boy, but have a little faith in our daughter.

Jaune: *Rubs face with free hand* Yeah, yeah, I know. I don’t like it though.

Blake: *Flippantly* And neither do I, Jaune, but it’s a part of being parents. We’re lucky Nala’s so even tempered and just skipped right over the teenage rebellion phase and isn’t just embarrassed by us. She’s a good girl. *Pauses, starts leading Jaune into the house* Or would you rather her be more Neptune and Dew’s girl?

Jaune: *Winces* No! *Grouchily* I just never thought letting her grow up would be so...

Blake: *Squeezes his hand* I know. But you got your licks in. And when Dutch brings our baby home, it’ll be his turn to worry about me. *Cuts off Jaune’s dumb grin* But until then...

Jaune: *Slumps* Blake, I don’t wanna do yard work. *Blinks as Blake sits on his lap* Oh. Ohhhhh. No, I’m definitely up for this task, ma’am. *Squeezes Blake’s ass*

Blake: *Smirking, leans in for a kiss* I figured.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I figured that if anybody would be both the cool parent and the responsible, easy to reason with but still every bit as protective one, it’d be Blake. And Knightshade’s a fun couple to explore although I like reading it better than writing it. Since other people do it better.

But I did have fun coming up with Nala Arc as a character. Named after the female lion from The Lion King that has a fair bit of meaning behind said name in the first place (I believe it’s Swahili for ‘Gift’). A weighted chain/pair of automatic pistols called Pride, plus a Nimcha sword named ‘Sleeping Lion’ in Latin (the name of the Lion King Keyblade from Kingdom Hearts II) and a semblance named after the Link Summon for Simba from Kingdom Hearts III (which works the same way: Nala becomes engulfed in fire, exudes fire and can cause loads of damage while active).

[honeypirate]

You write the characters of Fire Force so good omg I am extremely weak and soft for these QwQ can I please request either an imagine or headcanon of where Viktor has a S/O who is typically more self-confident, relaxed/teasing person until Viktor does anything remotely affectionate then S/O just turns into a bright red stuttering mess. They absolutely adore the affection, they're just easily embarrassed with things like this

Okay Okay alright alright cool cool cool

I had fun with this!

I’m glad you like how I write and thank you thank you for this request I hope you like it because it ran away from me and this is how it turned out lol

Viktor Licht x Easily Flustered reader (I went Fem but let me know if you want me to write a different one that’s GN! ❤️)

Viktor I think he’s so goofy and funny I adore him

I think he’d be his normal self around you 90% of the time

Okay more like 80%

but he’d wait for the right time to whisper something in your ear

or slip you a note at work

that makes your heart race and your cheeks flush.

Which isn’t hard to do but he likes to have the element of surprise.

So when you least expect it,

“you look beautiful”

or “your butt looks juicy in that orange jumpsuit” (god idk why I even wrote this my brain went vrrr and couldn’t think of more weird compliments.)

now I don’t know if he’d say something exactly like that (I don’t put it past him)

but I do think he’d say original weird things occasionally just to see your shocked eyes and hear your sweet chuckle

And the way you stutter through syllables before you say “Viktor” and slap his chest playfully.

Bro.

He just loves you okay?

And he loves how sweet and flustered you are just for him.

He sees you confidently tease the others

And Damn you look good doing so

but he knows he can unravel that with just a few well worded phrases.

and sees your self confidence which he ADORES.

It was something he first noticed about you, one of the first things he realized he liked about you

When he first met you, when he came to the eighth, you couldn’t help the warm feeling your heart got whenever you were around him

and he loved the way you’d chuckle at his jokes

he started making more jokes just to hear you laugh.

Then he wanted to make you blush.

Then he realized he wanted to kiss you every time you blushed because of him,

and every time you were teasing the others, when he saw your confidence in your job,

mans just wanted to kiss you.

Physical touch and quality time are his love languages (I personally feel this man is touch starved because he’s so invested in his work that he just pretends and convinces himself he doesn’t care) so that’s how he began to show you he was into you

he’d tuck your hair behind your ear and grin when the familiar flush would appear

or he’d help you with your paperwork just to talk to you and be next to you.

The more time he spent with you the more comfortable you felt around him

but every time you tried to tease him he’d watch your cheeks flush and he couldn’t help but smile.

He asked you out for the first time and you choked on the water you were drinking.

Bad timing on his part which he apologized for but you accepted

because it’s Viktor! How could you say no! He makes your heart warm! he’s so sweet on you!

So now it’s been three months and he’s trying to figure out how to tell you he loves you, he has the perfect idea, he’ll tell you after work tonight, with the perfect moment.

“Oh shush Arthur, you cheated. and you Shinra, you know he cheated so his win means nothing. Now go, both of you, we all have paperwork and no time for this” they both go to their desks, mumbling stuff under their breaths but not continuing their fight anymore. It was a stupid bet about flipping a coin into a cup across the room, you didn’t really understand since you just showed up but you knew Arthur’s tell, he said he didn’t cheat and you knew he was lying by the flick of his hair.

You sigh and finish your cup of coffee before heading to the pot in the corner to refill it. Viktor, who was watching from the doorway, comes over and you refill his cup with a small smile as you make eye contact. “I love it when you do that” he says quietly and you chuckle “do what?” You cock your head and he gives you a lopsided grin “put the kids in their place” he leans in to your ear “it’s kinda hot” he whispers and then pulls back to get a get look at your red blushing face, a lopsided grin on his lips “t-thanks” you manage to stutter out, your heart racing and thumping in your ears as he chuckles and kisses the top of your head before making his way back to his lab.

“You’ve been dating him for what.. three months?” Arthur asks from his paperwork when you sit at your desk “yeah. Why?” He looks up at you with a smirk “and he, Viktor Licht, still makes you flustered?” You glare “oh shut up Arthur” you say and smile sweetly, compared with the fire in your eyes it sends a shiver down his spine “actually. Would you rather I just tell you why he makes me flustered? What he said to me… about how-“ you started to tell him but he plugged his ears as Shinra started screaming. “NO NO NO Arthur SHUT UP. She’s flustered WITH HIM but you KNOW SHE HAS NO PROBLEM TALKING TO US!” Arthur sulks as you chuckle, tucking your hair that fell from your pony back behind your ear.

Before you can finish your paperwork you’re called out to help put some infernals to rest. You were exhausted, you smelled like smoke, and you weren’t up for anything special, he could see the bags under your eyes. So he kissed your forehead and sent you off to a shower, moving his confession to another night.

You saw the emotion in his eyes, something was wrong, but he played it off. So you thought you’d do something special for him. After your shower you swung by his room, walking in when he doesn’t answer your knocks and remembering he had dinner duty. You make your way through the empty room, carefully stepping across the papers strewn about. Sure, you didn’t know what they were, but he certainly did. When you find what you’re looking for you grin and carefully make your way out of his room.

“Psst Hey” you whisper as you stuck your head through the door of the kitchen. He turns around and cocks his head, the apron on his body said ‘kiss the cook’

“Hey sweetheart” he makes this face, one that you’ve seen a lot, one that says ‘what is this beautiful girl doing now?’ “Meet me where we had our second date” you grin and slip out before popping your head back “and do you think you could maybe..” he laughs “bring some food? I’m on it, love” he smiles as he hears your giggles as you walk down the hallway. Maybe he won’t have to wait after all.

ꕥ(Twenty minutes later)ꕥ

“What is this?” His voice was shocked as he stuck his head out the window, looking out at the scene unfolding before his eyes on the roof. soft music playing that he realized was his favorite song, blankets, pillows, a couple candles and you kneeling in the middle in one of his sweatshirts. You were an angel. He loved you so much.

“Remember coming up here to watch fireworks? I know it’s only been three months and that’s not a long time but... well.. when we got back you seemed a little down so I wanted to do something nice but also easy since tonight took a lot out of us” you cheeks flush from feeling embarrassed with doing something semi-big but keeping your eyes on his “So I got your favorite record and my record player, all the blankets and pillows I own, a couple of your sweatshirts, candles, aaaaand” you pull out a bottle of wine you were saving once he settles into the blankets next to you. He leans against the side of the house and he gazes down at you, a bowl of food in each hand.

“You did all of this for me?” He whispers and you nod, your blush fully covering your face as you scoot closer into his side, placing your hands on his knee, leaning up and kissing the corner of his mouth “I love you, Viktor” you whisper, looking down at your hands, butterflies in your chest and your heart thumping in your ears again.

“W-what did you say?” He whispers and you feel your heart drop “I- I said” he shoves the bowls of food out where they won’t be kicked and he turns to sit on his knees in front of you, cupping your cheeks and turning your face up to meet his eye. Your breath hitches at his expression, excited, soft, sweet. “Tell me” he whispers and his thumbs brush against your skin and send goosebumps down the back of your neck.

“I- I said” you swallow hard and pull back your confidence from earlier, gently taking a hold of his wrists, “I said; I love you Viktor” you watch his cheeks flush as he sighs, a peaceful look in his eyes “I love you, so much” he presses his lips to yours softly, warming up your cold ones from sitting outside waiting for him.

Look all I’m saying is Viktor is sweet and goofy and loving and he would he would love to watch your cheeks blush when he’d say sweet things and compliment you

but he’d also want to make sure certain things are perfect, like telling you he loved you. Or your first time wink wink together.

Certain perfect moments that tie together all the goofy, sweet, moments.

The moments where he makes your face flush bright enough to be compared to an infernals flame,

the time you stutter through words after he whispers something in your ear,,,,

but who is he,

or I,

kidding anyone?

Every moment is perfect with you.

Even if they’re hard.

Even that time you tried to tidy the papers in his room and messed everything in his system up.

Or the way you tried to fix it by making the papers rain down around you both, making him laugh before you hugged him and apologized for messing up his system and really helping him fix it again.

Oh God.

Holy Sol

He knows there’s nothing he believes in more than you, more than the love you share, and the fact that his favorite color is the pink dusting your cheeks. The pink that is just for him

[shimmershae]

So.  Thanks to my new anonymous friend, this is going to become a thing.

Shae’s thinky thoughts about the latest episode--Acheron:  Part 2--beneath a cut. 

Because spoilers, however vague they might be.  

Let’s be real here.  This is more a stream of consciousness than anything else so if that’s not your thing, you are most welcome to nope right on out of this post.  Trust me.  I’ll completely understand, lol.  Sometimes?  I wish I could nope right on out of my own brain and the way it operates.  

That said?  Without further ado--

Episode 2′s opening, though.  Maggie trapped with hungry Walkers converging?  It totally gives me Glenn under the dumpster vibes.  I don’t know if that was intentional or just happy coincidence but way to link Maggie to her dearly departed better half, show.  

Is it just me or has Father G had more OOMPH to him these last few seasons?  Again, I have to ask--Rosita’s influence or no?  Regardless, I bet Seth Gilliam is loving the job these days.  

Side note:  am I gonna have to go to bed early every Saturday night from now until the end just so I that I might be able to SEE?  Something?  Anything?  My curtains are flimsy-ass.  I admit it.  But this is more frustrating than TXF.  Angela, WTF?  

No, seriously.  It’s like complete guess work who’s in these subway scenes.  Some of that has to do with them being overly populated by redshirts and the rest of it has to do with me having to squint and turn sideways to make out their facial features. 

Look at Daryl busting through concrete walls!  Should I call him the Kool-Aid Man considering NR has once again allowed himself to be led right into a biased, shipper trap?  Hmm.  I might.  

Imagine seeking refuge in those dark, filthy subways.  Any second now I expect to hear the skittering of rats.  Will Dog lose his effing mind a la Divergence?  He’s been shown to go off half-cocked that way, lol.  Oh well.  Guess it’ll be in character if he does.  

Impressive graffiti storyboards.  Does it mean something that it immediately cuts to the Commonwealth storm troopers afterward?  Maybe.  Who really knows at this point?  They been trying to gaslight us forever.  

LOL at Princess yet again.  Yumiko is just like da fuq is this person?  

No, really.  LMAO.  “That was her.  From last night.  Did you see how she was looking at us?”  

Then you have Eugene, hahaha.  “Oh God.  Why did he tell off the big guy?”  Like the man is totally me in this type of situation.  Not even gonna lie.  

“That’s right.  We want to talk to the manager.”  

I literally cannot wait ‘til Carol and Daryl meet Princess.  Can.  Not.  Wait.  

How sad is that note on that $100 bill?  Small moment but it totally gives me Season 4 vibes when they were on their way to Terminus seeking sanctuary.  

Hmm.  Remember how that place wasn’t what they thought it was?  I’m sure neither is the Commonwealth.  But I feel like what’s left of Team Family is totally going to do Rick proud, lol, and prove they’re messing with the wrong people if they try something.  

Daryl, Man.  You gonna have to get a better handle on your headstrong Fur Son.  I wonder if Dog would listen better to his mama?  Things to ponder.  

Sounds like Miko has this group’s number.  Or does she?  

Princess and Eugene totally look like they’re waiting their turn for the Principal’s office, LOL.  

“Stop moving!  You’re taking my nerves over the edge to a proverbial 11 on a scale of 10.”  I feel you, Eugene.  I do.  Also you, Princess.  Two of the most relatable TWD characters right there, I’m telling you.  

Princess is me when I really, really, really have to pee.  TMI?  Sorry, lovelies.  LOL.  I just...she’s so relatable.  

LMAO.  “If that fine ass dude in the orange suit...”  Princess and Mercer incoming in 3-2-----

Princess’s excitement over the toilet paper=PRICELESS.  

Eugene, Man.  You desperately need to develop a poker face.  

There’s Daryl getting another cool camera shot.  Angela?  You playing favorites again?  

Carol’s claustrophobia could have never.  I bet that’s in the back of Pookie’s mind.  You can’t tell me it’s not because Carol lives in there rent-free.  

Ohhh.  Back to the subway car.  Looks like we got the Maggie redshirts leading the way.  First sacrificial “lambs”?  

Maggie pistol-whipping Negan was kinda deserved, but he wasn’t all wrong so.  

Damn.  I’m no Gage fan.  He can fuck all the way off for what he did to my baby Lydia.  But Maggie over there with ice in her veins.  

Yep.  I think the dude just got one of the most gruesome deaths in a while.  Yuck.  

I think Alden’s faith in Maggie definitely took several hits.  I feel like he kind of had her on some sort of pedestal dating back to Hilltop times.  Father G, though?  The man is continuing to show himself a SAVAGE MFer.  

Josh gives Eugene such believable tics and mannerisms.  He IS Eugene.  

Thank you, Maggie, for lighting that flare.  I could not see a damn thing.  

What are these bad memories Negan alludes to?  Hmm?  Him being a shit husband to Lucille back when he was still taking her for granted?  

Father G on Gage’s Walker--”All that is, is a shell of a man, who died a coward.”  Kind of ironic considering Father G’s own origins, huh?  Has he any warmth in there for anybody but Rosita and Coco?  Does he equate it with weakness?  

“There are worse ways.”  And Maggie proceeds to paint us a horror story with mere words.  

Dark Maggie really surpasses anything certain fans have ever accused Carol of being.  Is she too far gone?  Who the hell knows?  I think it’s clear that she and Carol are both on a sliding scale of sorts when it comes to being able to compartmentalize shit to survive.  Personally?  I feel like Maggie might have leap-frogged Carol in this episode but it matters none because of the double standards so deeply entrenched in this fandom.  Both women have endured and had to do some horrific things.  It’s not a contest.  But it’s probably going to be turned into a season-long one.  

It’s almost like Kang was like, “Ya’ll bitches think Carol’s dark?  I’ll show you DARK.  Check and mate.”  

Whatever the reasoning, Maggie just got exponentially more interesting to me if not likable.  And before anybody out there comes at me, it’s entirely possible to be on a character’s side in some things and not be all up their ass in love with them, lol.  Like I’m attached to her because she’s family and Glenn loved her.  There’s a loyalty there and she absolutely is justified in her hatred of Negan.  But I’m not going to pretend her shit don’t stink like everybody else’s.  

Speaking of my baby Glenn.  What would he think of this version of Maggie?  I think he would be gutted and heart stricken that events led to her being like this but he’d understand because he’s pure like that.  Don’t mean he’d be A-OK with it all.  

Dog must be protected at all costs.  

Confession.  I know not the fuck who Pony Boy is, but I know him because all my fandom friends have pointed him out to me, lol.  RIP, Man.  I think you’re number’s up or close to it.  

Okay, though.  I admit it.  I am kinda LOVING Badass Father G.  

That scene in the subway car with all of them working to take all the Walkers out was already badass.  Then Daryl arrived and made it, in @freefromthecocoon’s words, HAWT.  LOL.  

Eugene staring at that little black book like it contains torture tools, hehehe.  

“Processed?  As in administratively?  Processed as in bologna or other meat stuffs?  This inquiring (enquiring?) mind needs to know.”  OMG, Eugene.  I admit it.  Even if it makes me look like a lunatic, LOL.  I straight up LMAO at that one.  I mean, ten years later and Terminus still fresh on the man’s mind.  

“You like feeling nervous?”  Well, no.  None of us that do, Mercer?  Do.  

Then he proceeds to make me howl with his “You can’t lie for shit” to Eugene.  

Josh McDermitt?  I love you, Man.  40 year old virgin, LOL.  

All this talk over the seasons of Daryl’s virginity and we have Eugene, hahaha.  But was he telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?  

Finally.  Some daylight.  Where I can see.  

Eugene’s relief at seeing his friends safe and sound was such a beautiful thing to see.  I loved those hugs.  

Mercer’s face when he snarled “beat cop” in disdain to Ezekiel.  I think I’m gonna love this dude.  

“I went to West Point.  Asshole.”  Yeah.  I am.  

I know they probably catfishing Eugene right here because spoilers tell us that ain’t Stephanie.  But my heart still did a little d’aww.  Angela.  Don’t play with his poor heart like that.  

What’s got Daryl so pensive, huh?  Is it that the note reminds him of kids being lost or taken from their family? Or separated from their family?  Is he thinking of those Grimes babies and wondering if Michonne will ever make it back and why and how she was able to leave them behind?  Tell me it ain’t that Find Me nonsense.  

“This place sure has gone to shit since the last time I was here.”  LMAO, JDM.  I mean Negan.  Sorry.  Sorry.  I still hate Negan, but JDM has me entertained at least since they gave the asshole some shades of gray.  And speaking of shades of gray.  I’m loving the gray beard.  JDM’s looking GOOD (hear that NR?  Embrace the gray).  Negan can still kick rocks, lol.  

Anyway.  That scene was CREEPY AF.  Not even gonna lie.  

The Reapers strutting right on up to our group like it’s The Purge:  ZA.  

My bad, Pony Boy. Now RIP.  

Dark, dark episode with loads of tension broken up by some welcome humor by Princess.  The girl is fast becoming a fave of mine.  

My baby’s back next week!!!

I’m just going to plug my ears and pretend they’re trying to capture/recapture the horses because they’re pets.  Not because they’re starving so bad they feel the need to eat them.  La la la la la.  I can’t hear you.  

[kai5621]

Deja vu [Heisenberg x OC]

Warning: age gap, slow burn, platonic to romantic relationship. Grammer issues (english is my first language criiii) . Child abuse, family abuse, death (not major character ). Eventual smut (maybe?）

Note: OK !!!! SO after drawing a bunch of RE8 OCs I finally could resist my self writing my own story about it. Cuz damm Heisenberg stole all my heart and I have no complains about it.

This is my first time writing a fanfic, so I will try my best !! And lastly-----

HEISENBERG DESERVES SOOO MUCH MROE LOVE.  

And here’s a little potrait thet I drew for the oc (as for why I didn’t draw heisenberg as well, is bcuz im shit at drawing males ┭┮﹏┭┮)

1.

The first time Heisenberg met Erin, she was only eight, can barely reach his waist and always be smiling everyday, like an every single child would at her age. She came to this shitty village with her dad, which claims to be her only family member. They are obviously foreigners to the villagers, as no one remembered there’s anyone in this place would have a such strong British accent, therefore they must be new.

Their family history has remained a mystery to most of them, oddly enough, only a few people who are about eighty or ninety years old do recall their family name, and were quite surprised to see that Erin’s father is back here again. Although every single one of them would shoot him with fierce glances that are not so friendly, even towards Erin. Except for Luiza, but even though her kindness was mainly for the poor little girl.

“I don’t understand, Charles. If you decided to leave this place before with such determination, why bother came back?” She asked her father sternly, while watching Erin just quietly standing behind him. She was thin, with a long, dark raven hair tied into a loose pony tail. But she does look endearing, those big, innocent watery eyes could gain everyone’s sympathy.

“That’s none of your business, and why does it even matter to you?” He seemed annoyed when answering this question, he roughly grabbed Erin’s wrist, without looking any of the people here, he just simply left, leaving others remain in silent confusion. Some younger villagers did ask Luiza about Erin’s origin, but all the time she just shooked her head, signed heavily.

 “May mother Miranda bless that little girl. She does not deserve such man as her father.....”  

Of course, Heisenberg would never missed such local news from the village. He did pay a visit to the new “guests” before informing Miranda and his siblings. The appearance of new faces surely hooked his curiosity quite high, but to be honest, he doesn’t even understand why he was that excited, as surely they would probably just end like the locals here, worshiping Miranda like she’s an actual god, and then would went missing mysteriously but eventually end up on her cold, metal operating table, with chest being cut open, blood splatters all around the body, while the Cadou parasite just devouring the remains.

Didn’t someone mentioned the family also has a daughter? Ah, then perhaps that lucky little thing would go to his sister’s castle and can becomes one of the “maid”. Just another victim, Heisenberg thought to himself, he could not hide his grin back. Holding his hammer at the back of his shoulder, he walked quickly to that infamous cottage where the new family is settled, a few quite whispers can be heard during his journey, the villagers were all surprised to see the presence of the metal lord, and naturally inquiring behind his journey.

Just like before, Heisenberg ignored all of them,

When he finally reached the shabby wooden door, of the cottage, he didn’t even bother knocking, just pushed the door wide open violently, using his ridiculous strength meanwhile announcing his arrival.      

“Well, well, there’s been news all around the village about the new family, and I thought I could a pay a little visit, to get to know the new members! You are welcome, by the way......”

 But when all he saw was a little girl standing by the dinning table, looking confused and stunned at him, his smug smile disappeared quickly, and even the eyes behind his dark specs were filled with momentary surprise.

“Uh, sir?” She asked quietly, putting the tray of cookies down on the table in a panic.

“Are you.... my father’s guest? I’m really sorry, he will be a away for a quite long time, and I’m not sure if.....”

 He stood there for a moment, and then realized that she must be the daughter, although she’s much much younger than he anticipated. He cut her off before she finished the sentence : “Huh, so you don’t know who I am ?”

 She looked so lost, after blinked her eyes a few times, she nervously said : “Sorry sir, I’m afraid I don’t.”

 Heisenberg was never good with children, never, he didn’t really know what to do, after all he wasn’t expecting to meet a child who probably doesn’t even know what a dick is. So, they just stood where they were before, and staring at each other awkwardly in silence, to a point that even the little girl started to feel uncomfortable. She looked around quickly, trying to find something that could resolve this situation, then her eyes fixed on the tray of cookies on the table.

“Um, maybe...do you want to have a cookie, sir?”

The man with the hammer went speechless, he coughed a few times, put his hammer down next to the door frame, and blankly replied back with a tiny bit of fluster.

“Alright then. ”

   2.

It was fucking ridiculous.

Heisenberg would never imagined himself sitting in a old cottage, eating chocolate cookies and drinking teas like a normal human, while chatting with an eight years old girl.

Yes, he’s never good with kids, why would he? Being brought by a psycho bitch means he shouldn’t have any sympathy towards anything, everyone in this village had a good taste about his temper before, even his “Lord” title makes it too intimidate for anyone to have any contact with him. Thus, he never had a decent conversation with anyone else besides his cursed family. Frankly speaking, they were not really conversations, more like endless quarrels.    

He had a quick look around in the room, when Erin went to the kitchen to make tea. This place is shabby, there’s no doubt about it. No painting, no decorations, only an old wool blanket laying down on the floor of the living room. He could see a few photo frames on the bookshelf, cover by dusts. He tried to have to closer look, but all he could see was three people standing together, presumably a family photo that was taken a long time ago.

“Here’s your tea, sir. And there’s milk and sugar.” She was holding a big tray, walking carefully towards table and almost got tripped by the chair. Heisenberg almost chuckled at her clumsy yet cute actions, but he remained silent, and finished his ninth cookie.

“Well, thanks, little one.” He said simply, then started to sip his tea. He saw Erin was standing next to the table like a lost little lamb, he can’t help but chuckled a bit, gesturing her towards the seat across him.

“ Oh come on, no need to be so frightened! I won’t eat ya.”

She was a bit hesitate at first, but eventually took his offer, sit across the table facing him. Although the teapot blocked half of her face.

“So....” Heisenberg started again, with his smug smile back on his face: “You are new here aren’t you, with your family.”

“Yes. Me and my father came a week ago, from England. But he used to live here, at least that’s what I know. ”

That made his curiosity even higher. An outsider, that originally lived here, how interesting, and how did they even escaped this twisted place.

“Where’s your father now?”

This question let her seemed a bit troubled, she shooked her head, looking disappointed : “I don’t know, sir. He said he’s busy, and that’s it.”

His grin became wider:  “And didn’t your daddy tell you, that do not let strangers come into your house while you are alone?”

To his surprise, she did not seem scared, but instead she tilted her head as she was a bit confused, and answered him back politely.

“But I didn’t let you in, sir. You just opened the door and, broke in........”    

 Heisenberg burst into laughter right after he heard this answer, it was really loud, even the teapot and the cups on the table started to shake a bit, but thankfully Erin didn’t notice, she was completely stunned by his reaction and didn’t know what to do. She thought she probably offend him by saying that. But the truth is, Heisenberg is not mad at all, this child’s unintentional boldness is exactly what he likes.  

“ Oh yes! I did break into your house, and aren’t you scared?”

“Should I be scared?” She calmly asked him back, filling his cup again with more tea. “I was tho, but you seem like a nice guy. At least I don’t think a bad person would eat my cookies and having tea with me. If you want harm me you would've done this way earlier.”

He could have so much fun with this kid, Heisenberg though to himself. An outsider was rare enough on its own, no praying, no worshiping, and he won’t hear all those “Miranda bless us” shit. Although, it’s quite ironic that his first decent conservation in 20 was held with a freaking child.

But he’s not complaining. He finished his tea, looking around the room for the last time then shoot his glance back on her. He stood up, ignoring the girl’s skeptical look, Heisenberg chuckled a bit.

 With that, he simply waved his hand, and left the house.

“Well, thank you for your service little one, I’m afraid I must got now. But I’m sure we will meet again soon.”

 He grabbed his hammer by the door frame, opened the door in a swift motion.

“And send my greetings to your father, will you, little one?”

[radramblog]

What happened to Dirk in Homestuck^2?

Why am I doing this to myself.

I memed a little yesterday when I was posting that article around social medias about Homestuck jokes, because once again we are in lockdown and I am therefore Stuck at Home. Canned laughter goes here. But there’s a topic related to the comic- or more specifically, its aborted sequel, Homestuck^2, that I’m interested in delving into a little bit. I’m going to avoid talking about spoilers as much as possible, but considering said comic takes place not only after the events of the massive sprawl that is Homestuck but also the more linear but still messy Epilogues, some amount of sus shit is inevitable.

Anyway. Much maligned is what the Epilogues and 2 did to everyone’s favourite decapitation target, Dirk Strider, and I have a theory as to why it happened this way.

To begin with, let’s summarise what and who Dirk is through the course of the comics. Fair warning from me, though, it’s been a while since I read through this.

Dirk Strider is a teenager who grew up in a post-apocalyptic future Earth, completely devoid of physical contact with other people and only really ever gets to talk to 3 other people, only one of whom is in anything remotely resembling a relatable situation. He struggles with self-identity, having created numerous robots including an artificial intelligence based on his own brain, aka Lil’ Hal. He’s somewhat of a control freak, and a bit of a cold aloof asshole, but means well, and is pretty gay. NBD. The kinda guy to set up a plan meticulously and thoroughly, not informing any of the moving parts even if said parts are his friends, and often involving some form of self-sacrifice.

Throughout the comic he further reckons with self-identity problems and his own self-loathing including entering a relationship with Jake which doesn’t go well and he eventually breaks off since he knows his overbearing and manipulative behaviour is Not Cool and Pretty Toxic but doesn’t know how to shut it off. Eventually he reaches the God Tier as a Prince of Heart, gaining the power to literally annihilate souls, which he never actually uses since he gets yeeted into deep (Paradox) space and then everything goes to shit. Except none of that happens because of the Retcon (aside from the God Tier bit) and we don’t actually see how that shit progressed in the canon timeline. I think. Dirk’s arc, as it were, doesn’t really come full circle- while he does assist in Dave’s character…growth? he really isn’t the focus of that conversation. This immediately precedes the action climax and there isn’t literally any dialogue after that so that’s what we’re left with.

I like Dirk in Homestuck a lot. It’s hard not to, considering the flashes heavily featuring him (Unite/Synchronise and Prince of Heart: Rise Up) are genuinely excellent, along with many of his music themes being absolute bangers. He gets to interact with Caliborn a lot, with a pretty great banter, there, and the whole splintered personality thing is a really interesting hook for a character. I think he’s my favourite of the Alpha kids, a controversial pick considering I know everyone loves Roxy so much. I think, I’m not as in tune with the fandom as that statement implies I am.

And then the Epilogues/Homestuck 2 came.

Now I read the Meat half of the epilogues first, but that’s more interesting, so we’ll tackle Candy first (this is going to get real confusing for those who haven’t read this comic, huh).

In Candy, Dirk almost immediately kills himself, citing the irrelevance of the timeline as cause, an act considered by whatever mechanism governs God Tier deaths to be Just because he hates himself (and also bc of things we’ll get into), so it actually sticks. This isn’t super relevant for the discussion, but that’s just kinda so unbelievably fucked up? Entirely? I’d imagine if you read Candy first you might get entirely turned off by this, which I’m sure a lot of people did.

Meat is where the, well, meat of post-canon Dirk is. You see, a concept very quickly introduced in the tail end of the original comic is the Ultimate Self, an idea where you somehow encompass every different timeline iteration or alternate version of yourself. This was pretty clearly tacked on to make it so characters whose arcs all happened in the retcon timeline could have their not getting an actual arc explained away, but it didn’t land then and it sure doesn’t land for me now. Anyway, in Meat, Dirk becomes his ultimate self, making him near-omniscient and able to control the fabric of the story himself- for much of this story, he is the narrator. And he uses this power to fuck with all his friends really distressingly without their knowledge (or consent), including breaking up a marriage, in order to further his own goals which largely appear to be just keep the story going so to not fade out of relevance. It’s a plot that makes no sense with his previous characterisation, but I guess now that he’s the Ultimate Self he’s a different person? But I liked old Dirk, and I don’t like New Dirk. He’s a villain now, but he made a much better anti-hero.

But this would be fine if he (or the epilogues, or Homestuck^2) were written well. But they aren’t. Dirk’s dialogue is long, painfully drawn out, with tangents that tend to amount to pure wank, misused literary references and pointless metaphors that go on and on, filling the screen with a bright orange screed that hurts to look at as much as it does to comprehend. It’s not fun. And we’ve seen Dirk communicate before, obviously, the story of Homestuck is built around chatlogs, but it wasn’t like this. He was sarcastic, dryly witty, blunt at times. Even when he was literally talking to a different version of himself it didn’t get that masturbatory.

I was so confused about what the hell happened to Dirk, because I had no idea what the hell someone writing this character was thinking when they turned him into this. And then, the 21st page of Homestuck^2 dropped.

And it all came together.

What Ultimate Dirk and Terezi are referring to is Pony Pals: Detective Pony, a children’s book about some girls who hang out with ponies and solve a mystery. It’s a real book, buy it for your 5-year-old.

Except they’re not referring to that, they’re referring to the Homestuck Canon version of Detective Pony- a birthday gift from Dirk to Jane, heavily edited and to be much more obscene and eventually developing into it’s own story, stated to be “tough, emotionally draining, but cathartic in all the worst ways possible”.

Except the quote “Remember Longcat, Jane?” and references to philosophy, dead languages, and ancient earth culture aren’t referring to the three pages of the Dirk-edited Detective Pony we see in the actual comic itself. That quote doesn’t appear there.

That image is from Detective Pony, by Sonnetstuck- the 40,000 word fanfiction from 2014 that serves as a completed version of Jane’s copy of the book. An expansion of what we see in canon. And it’s a tough, emotionally draining read, but cathartic in all the worst ways possible.

It’s a very good fanfiction.

In the later bits of Detective Pony, we can start to see the origins of what would become Ultimate Dirk’s signature style of writing. Long blocks of rambling text, orange dripping down the page, references to philosophy and history and language that go on and on. And it probably does look familiar to those who read the Epilogues and ^2. 

But there are a couple of key differences here. First of all, it’s just better written? The way these rambles circle back on themselves is so excellent, the absolute absurdity of this being written on top of a pony book for little girls, the humour (beyond some of the more immature stuff), it’s just a really well-written piece of fiction. Hell, you don’t even need to be familiar with the character of Dirk to enjoy it. It’s a harrowing piece, but it’s also self-aware- because it’s not supposed to be tough, draining, cathartic etc. just for Jane- it’s clearly that for Dirk himself.

The second part is, of course, that this is a fanfiction. It’s not canon, it’s not official, this is by someone who really likes Dirk for people who really like Dirk. It doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, so if you bounce off it (and I’m sure a lot did), then you don’t have to keep reading it, it’s fine, thanks for playing. As much as Homestuck^2 tried to doll itself up as “dubiously canon” it’s still the official continuation of the story, and that means if it’s as difficult to get into as Detective Pony, that’s going to be a problem for a lot of people.

The other part of it is that Detective Pony’s exploration of Dirk’s character is, well, in character. When the man himself steps in as a character in his own book, the explorations of what he is as an author, who he is as a person, make perfect sense for what we see of him at the start of the comic. He is that manipulative, blunt person, and he is aware of his faults. He’s the kind of person to hide a lamentation on his own failings inside an impenetrable maze of a story layered on top of a book about fucking ponies. Ultimate Dirk does not act like Dirk, outside of the “manipulator” angle, something that Dirk was aware of and trying to improve in the comic. But I guess people don’t have arcs, right?

It’s so interesting to see the seeds of Homestuck^2 laden within Detective Pony- because the meta angle that and the epilogues take is also represented in said fanfiction. While the nature of canon is a facet of the work, the idea of authors and narrators fighting for control of a story, different ideas in mind for the characters, one being more personally connected to them than the other, it’s all there. When I wrote about Fallout 4 in the past, I mentioned being worried that Bethesda took the wrong lessons from Skyrim- seeing something successful and trying to recapture that lightning in a bottle. I think Homestuck^2 is an extreme example of this- the writers of the comic saw Sonnetstuck’s masterwork and thought, yeah that’s great, we can do that. But they just can’t. And with the comic crashed and burning, the probably won’t ever get a chance to. Dirk is forever stuck as this amalgamation of himself that looks nothing like any individual version of him ever did.

At least we will still have Detective Pony, and many other excellent fanworks, for actually good Dirk content. I admittedly haven’t looked into much fanfic written during/post-epilogues, and I’m kind of afraid of what I’ll see- I can only hope the fanbase didn’t take the same wrong lessons as the official team did.