#the 13 y/o one is fun too he looks so fucking mad—

[dammarchy211]

Here u fuckin go

Scatters this on the floor like bread crumbs

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 13: ...O-OH?

it’s the night of the big stream. y/n uncovers a strange, albeit deep, bond with charlie. corpse interrupts her garden date with sykkuno quite unceremoniously. tensions are high as ever; proximity chat reveals internal monologues and stray thoughts. y/n’s “batshit insane” energy affects everyone. this is, quite literally, the best game of among us bretman has ever played.

─── corpse husband x reader, sykkuno x reader (if you squint, it’s very one sided)  ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: 6.1k oops ─── ❥ reqs: sum people requested some interaction w bretman + jealous corpse + flirty sykkuno

author’s note: guys....GUYS WE’RE ON THE 3RD “OH” hope ur excited cus i am!!! this was rly fun to write, but then again, everything is better than writing an essay lmao! this is extremely chaotic and a bit seggsy but like a minuscule bit u wont even notice it i swear xx there’s not much social media in this one, mostly written lol. as always lmk wat u think n thank u for all ur kind words n sooo manyyyy ideassss!!! love u lots

ultimate masterlist.  ҉  myso masterlist   ҉   previous. ҉   next.

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It’s happening, you think, picking the discreet, angelic white color for your astronaut - with a halo and all, truly, you are a seraph that stepped through the gates of heaven and descended onto earth to grace these morals with your presence...quite literally, you’re not only donning white in game, but also in real life, cute as a button or more like as a bunny. Cat girls are overrated - cat boys, on the other hand, you’ll ardently defend till your last breath - but bunny girls...Safe to say, your chat had been going feral. Your endless ego is fed well. You even swore on your heart that no devilish trickery would follow in this game - you had left your snake ways behind you.

No one believed you. The Roaches know you too fucking well.

The influx of new subs, however, do not. Look at this cute girl! She wouldn’t hurt a fly! You chuckle at the compliments. At the exact same moment, Rae pipes up on the discord call, “Y/n is leering and cackling evilly. No one trust her.”

Demon woman herself must be watching your stream before starting her own. You pout, all adorable and innocent, but your eyes gleam slyly. Truly, a mastermind of manipulation! Look at you go! The chat is swooning. The viewer number steadily climbs past 16K and you hum happily, welcoming all that decided to join your little clan, “Don’t listen to Rae. Wifey is mad because I said I’m not bringing her back a souvenir. Well guess what, bitch, I’m the gift.”

Your perfect image does not quite align with your tone, nor the affectionate nickname you call your roommate (bitch, not wifey). The new viewers are none the wiser though, just like your new stream mates.

There is laughter from people you don’t quite know. The lobby is almost full, but not everyone has trickled in yet.

“Filing divorce papers right now.” Rae mumbles, but you hear the smile in her voice. It makes you crack a grin, too. 

More hello’s and shy introductions to the people in the lobby. Sykkuno’s green astronaut pops in with a upbeat, “Hey, everyone! Hi, Y/n!” as his character circles around yours. A collective awww echoes in your stream chat as you, quite breathless at the wholesomeness, reply with a “Hi! Hi hi!” as well.

Corpse is next to join, mysteriously ominous. The discord call is pure chaos, everyone screaming over the other variations of his name while stressing different syllables. Silent as a grave, he just stands there, his black astronaut seemingly eyeing everyone in the lobby. 

Alas, when the noise dies down, he utters, ��Whaddup, baby.” and it’s pandemonium all over again. You are screeching/laughing along with the rest. His astronaut swiftly glides to Sykkuno, still circling around you, “Hey, Sykkuno.” He says. The latter abruptly stops. The game hasn’t even started, and already - betrayal! Sykkuno starts circling around Corpse now, leaving you in the dust.

“Hey, dude!”

“Yo,” You interrupt, “I’m like here too, yeah?”

“Fight, fight, fight!” Pokimane jeers. You can’t see her, but you’re certain she’s pumping her fists in the air. 

“Let’s leave the bloodshed for the game, yeah?” Dream offers past her laugh ridden urging.

“No, fuck that, let’s start this shit right now,” Charlie declares - his monotone is strangely pleasant to the ear, and you lean back in your chair with a thoughtful hum. Something about his energy just clicks with yours instantly, but perhaps you’re judging too quickly- “Got my fucking knife ready to slit some throats. You can all pretend you aren’t ready to kill on sight, but that’s not me. I’ll teabag your dead fucking body.”

-yeah, no, your initial estimate had been correct! What a pleasant surprise, you feel like you and he will get along beautifully. 

“Way to be subtle, Charles.” Rae snorts.

“Subtle doesn’t make an interesting game, Rae,” He’s quick to bite back, “and if I’m Impostor, you bet your fucking ass I’m going after you first.”

“Noooooo!” She shrieks, rushing to your astronaut, which is still just standing there, abandoned, like the equivalent of that one emoji, “Y/n, protect me.”

“Of course, baby.” You purr. 

There’s mumbling in the discord call, though it’s barely audible. Corpse seems to be repeating the word to himself: Baby...Baby?...Baby...

“You’re gonna stab me in the back the first chance you get, won’t you?” She questions, already painfully aware of the answer.

“You know it!”

“Finally, someone that’s not fucking cowering in their boots and flaunting their real nature.” Charlie says, “Y/n, form a Big Dick Alliance with me.”

“Oh for sure, man.” You agree immediately, trailing to his in game figure, “Let’s show these virgins how it’s done.”

“This is going to be a mess, isn’t it?” Sean’s voice rings with a cheerful laugh, making you flustered. Yes, you’re actually playing with THE JacksepticeyeTM. You still haven’t fully wrapped your head around that part, “I’m very excited to see where this will go.”

“Nowhere good.” You say with unparalleled sincerity - every word you speak to him, the icon, the legend, the one of the few youtubers you actually actively follow, must be genuine. You doubt you can lie to him. He’s too good of a person. You admire him too much. Stuck between wanting to be a shady bitch and an absolute saint, you refrain from addressing him more - you are simply not worthy.

its the y/n trying to act like a normal person in front of jack for me

ikr she looks ready to join the monastery

each day we stray closer to gods light???

Your viewers are snide as always. Gosh, you love them.

The last player pops in, fashionably late, “Hey, y’all.”

“Hey, Bretman!” The call choruses somewhat harmoniously.

“Hi, daddy.” He’s speaking to Corpse now, a smile in his voice - you can hear it even past the static of his atrocious mic. Your eyes widen, eyebrows shooting up. Your friends are cackling, but confusion refrains you from doing the same - were you not the only one Corpse offered, seemingly so long ago!, to be his sugar baby? 

One betrayal after the other. You’re glad for the Big Dick Alliance. The name has a nice right to it, too. 

Corpse laughs, “...Hey, Bretman. How are you today?”

Damn, two sentences for him, but not even a word spoken to you!? You’re already scripting a very melodramatic paragraph you will text him after the stream. With poorly masked discontent, you mutter, “Wow, thanks for such a warm welcome, Corpse, my day’s going great, yeah, loving the company.”

“Now now miss girl,” Bretman chimes, “we can’t be all daddy’s favorite.”

“Careful,” Charlie drones, “I think you just got yourself onto Y/n’s shit list.”

“Right next to Corpse Husband and Valkyrae.” You agree, “Sykkuno!” You suddenly call him.

“Uhm-Uh-Yes?” Is his nervous reply.

“You’re safe.” You state coldly, “For now.”

“You are not going after Sykkuno on my watch.” It must be a belated holiday miracle because Corpse finally decides to address you. His words seem to awake something in him, “Hey-Hey-Hey-” He swiftly glides to you, standing right next to your minute virtuous angel, “When are you coming back to Cali?”

corpse stop acting weird challenge

literally omg lmao

he does bring up a good point y/n y u not in cali yet?!

^pack it up corpse simp he disrespected the queen when he didnt say hi

“Back off, buddy,” Charlie interjects, “this spot is for Big Dick Alliance members only.”

“I’m never returning.” You inform him, your voice cold like the Arctic snow, and the look in your eyes is no kinder. You feel like you’re having a stare down through screen. 

Silence stretches. Is this an intimidation tactic? Because if it is, it’s a paltry one. Your conviction to be petty is stronger than any vulnerability you might feel.

“Then I have nothing to say to you.” He admits and fucks right off with that. Fine, go join Sykkuno and Rae in their little corner of betrayal! Friendship ended with Corpse, now Charlie is your best friend.

“Okay, guys, guys, guys-” Toast, noting this is going to spiral any minute now, tries to catch their attention, “Let’s start?!”

You look into your camera, and the roaches know what you’re thinking. You’re twins like that, communicating telepathically. You are taking back your tender promise of not being a conniving bastard. It’s fucking on. You will destroy everyone in your path, starting with the guy you have a stupid crush on - maybe?! Feelings are confusing, you’d rather just not think point blank period.

With no objections from the cast, the counter ticks away seconds and, for the first round, you’re stuck as CREW MATE.

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Charlie is a gift. Truly, you had not expected such a sudden, wonderful relationship to bloom. How have you not known of him sooner?! It’s a crime that you hadn’t spoken to him earlier. You are a 100% certain if you had found him before you started streaming, he would’ve been a big inspiration. 

The two of you do your silly little tasks and curse like sailors, commenting about this and that thanks to proximity chat. You wouldn’t have been able to stand the claustrophobic silence if it was just a normal Among Us game - to think, missing out on all his foully worded quips! It almost springs a tear into your eye. He’s just as unhinged as you.

worried about this dynamic 

its a trainwreck lol i love it plz collab more plz

Caught in a headed discussion in Electrical - TikTok trends, or audios specifically - you defend the app the best you can. Charlie thinks it’s super cringe, and you insist it’s part of the charm as you connect wires.

“I mean, have...-do you know that one audio, the one that goes, like,” You’re spilling your words, heated, frustrated that he’s so dismissive of the app that literally saved 2020, “it goes like, uhm,” You clear your throat, prep your voice - even take a sip of your favorite drink. Drawing the syllables, you try your best to make it drop an octave - it must sound like you’re doing an atrociously bad and nauseatingly scratchy Corpse impression with an extra dramatic flair, “My assssssss, your cockkk, you do the mathhh.”

“Did-Did I just-” You freeze hearing Corpse’s voice, finally done with your task. Charlie is muffling his laughter behind his palm; Corpse’s astronaut stands in the doorway, “What the fuck did I just walk into?” He seems genuinely confused, though a strangely winded. You’re mortified. Your shoulders are shaking. You look at the stream chat but it’s going too fast for you to follow. Manic laughter bubbles in your chest and you squeeze your eyes shut, mouth split into a toothy grin, lowering your head and trying to hide the blush dusting your cheeks.

“Hey? Guys? What the fuck are you talking about?” He questions again.

“Honestly?” Charlie chimes, “No fucking clue. TikTok, I think. Ask Y/n.”

You can’t reply. You’re crying. You cover your face with your palms, muttering a soft oh my god before bursting into a full blow laugh, throwing your head back, the motion accidentally knocking your headphones off.

“Y/n.” Corpse calls you, “Fuck was that?”

You’re howling. Your stomach hurts. There are literal tears in your eyes. You think Charlie might be laughing too, but you can’t really tell over your loud screeching. Hastily fixing your headphones, you wipe away the tears stuck to your lower lashes, heaving, “S-Sorry, I-” You stutter, breaking into another fit of giggles. Corpse patiently waits you to calm down. Catching your breath, you start again with a sniffle, “TikTok, yeah.” You idly fix your hair, trying to bite down a smile, “It’s an audio.”

“What- What kind of videos are you watching?”

“The good kind.” Your reply is instant, merciless, “Also, why are you here? We’re having a BDA meeting, you know.”

“I-I...” He trails off, “I...I heard people talking and...I just came here to check it out, but...I’m regretting it.” There’s a lilt in his voice, and you know he doesn’t regret jack shit. You bet he’s smiling. You wish you could see it.

“Bitch, then leave!” You huff. You aren’t sure what is with him today, and you don’t want to stick around and find out - his playfulness makes your stomach flip at the most inappropriate times! Like when you’re trying to sound threatening. You must retreat posthaste, “No, wait, I’ll do it for you.” You say, brushing past his character. Charlie follows after you.

“Dude, you’re so fucking lucky neither of us are the Impostor because you’d be deader than I’ve been feeling since I was 10.” Your favorite companion comments. Charlie is truly a modern wordsmith. You’re pretty sure you adore him, because you’re nodding your head, so quick to agree with him that even you’re surprised. 

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A meeting is called. You spare a glance at your fallen crew mates. They will be missed. Sean most of all, God, why does heaven always take the good ones?! The game feels emptier without him, even if you really only passed him once on your trek to Cafeteria with Charlie.

You may or may not have been avoiding him, afraid you’d accidentally say something horrible and he would hate you. It’s a silly fear, though a deep one. And with Charlie keeping you company, you had not uttered a single objectively  good, or even coherent, sentence. Your parents can’t watch this stream once it’s uploaded onto your Youtube channel. They know you’re barely keeping it together in most of your videos, but here, now? Yeah, no. Charlie is already hard to listen to on his own for sensitive viewers, and hearing you agree with literally everything he says with your own chaotic ideas? Your dad would stumble into an early grave.

Mom probably wouldn’t mind too much, but you’d have to explain your relationship status again. She is under the assumption that everyone you collab with is your significant other. You’d say it began with Sykkuno, though the exclamation of “Finally! My daughter isn’t pathetically single! We need to celebrate.” had started with Rae. Truly, a scandal.

Speaking of which, Sykkuno is gone, too, but you had time to mourn him already. You found his body roughly ten minutes ago; so torn with the fresh agony of heartbreak, you could not do anything else but cry. It was Charlie, bless his heart, that reported it.

“Someone killed Jack,” You say, voice dripping with venom, “court is now in session. I’m ready to vote the fucker out.”

People speak all at once. Toast roars over them, “ORDER! ODER IN COURT!” as he slams his hand onto his desk repeatedly. That seems to work, though briefly.

“I think it’s Y/n.” Corpse says. You stare at him, hand gripping your heart, mouth falling open in surprise.

flame him

corpse boutta be a corpse fr

beat his ass queen!!!!!

“Pardon my french,” You grumble, “but nani the fuck?!”

“It’s definitely Y/n, I found her and Charlie conspiring in Electrical. Surrealist experience of my fucking life, but it’s definitely her.”

“Dude, we’ve been over this,” Charlie sighs, shushing Rae who was about to comment something - knowing your luck, it was probably in favor of the man throwing you under the bus, “we would’ve snapped your fucking neck the moment you walked in. But we didn’t.”

“Yeah, we didn’t.” Corpse notes, “I said nothing about you, I’m just saying it’s definitely her. She probably didn’t kill in front of you because of your stupid alliance-”

“Someone sounds salty because he wasn’t invited.” Pokimane snickers.

“-or possibly she did tell you and you won’t betray her for the exact same reason.”

“That’s some big brain logic you pulled there, genius,” Charlie says, absolutely unimpressed, “sure you didn’t have an aneurysm trying to connect all of that together?”

“Well,” Rae pipes up, “Y/n and Charlie did say they will kill right before the game started. If you ask me, it’s not unbelievable. And Sykkuno was sorta on the shit list.”

“I’m writing down your name twice, Rachell.” You spit.

“Not helping your case at all, Y/n...” Dream worries, “And Rae makes a good point. Charlie and you have professed desire for murder. I’m just saying! It’s a bit suspicious, you know?”

The next words to leave Corpse’s lips sound incredibly smug, “See?” He drawls.  The pressure is getting to you - you don’t understand where this beguiling talent of his to convince literally everyone comes from, but it doesn’t inspire any confidence. Your fist suddenly feels incredibly lonely, so useless - oh, how you long to swing at him, “It’s definitely Y/n.”

“I dunno...” Toast mumbles.

“It’s Y/n.”

“Corpse-” You try, but he's ignoring you - shocker, as if he hadn’t been doing that from the very start of this stupid game - and chanting your name like it’s a fucking mantra or something, a smile in his voice, knowing, relishing in the fact that he’s grating on your nerves, “FIRST OF ALL,” You scream into the mic, successfully cutting him off; catching your breath, you exhale, and continue, calmly, lowly,  “get my pretty name out of your mouth.” 

There’s a pause full of tense silence. 

Then, there’s a sound, seemingly stuck in the back of his throat, “...O-Oh...?”

“Second of all,” You continue, words like honey dipped in arsenic, “This is the clearest smear campaign I have ever witnessed. By how hard you’re trying to frame me for fuck knows what reason, I’m led to believe it’s you that killed them. You’re the Impostor.”

“Corpse wouldn’t kill Sykkuno, though.” Rae comments, skeptical.

“Then the other Impostor did it.” You counter.

“Maybe you’re both Impostors.” Pokimane chirps.

“Y/n would never betray the Big Dick Alliance like that.” Charlie states.

You grin, “Charlie, I literally love you.” 

“Wait hold up now,” Corpse seems to get his bearings together, “what’s this about love I’m hearing?”

“I have none for you, dick.” You snap, flipping him off. Your chat cheers. While he can’t see it, you hope he senses it through the screen, “I officially hate you.”

“No, wait-”

“Boo, Corpse, you suck.” Toast laughs.

“Y/n, please-”

“Let’s all vote for Corpse Husband, okay?” You say it like it’s his full official name with an encouraging smile and multiple soft nods. Sykkuno can’t be here to nod, so you’ll do it for him. You eye the rapidly decreasing timer before clicking on Corpse’s figure and voting for him. The VOTED icon instantly pops up beside your adorable astronaut.

“Baby, I-” It slips past his lips so easily, as if he’s not even thinking about it, like it’s only natural to call you that and a spike of anxiety shoots up, making you glare. It’s only halfhearted. You try your best to ignore the rapid and uncoordinated pulses of your heart. Replace unwanted feelings with anger and hate - works like a charm, every time.

“You are not allowed to call me that.” You hiss. The chat spams snake emojis. 

“Wait-” Bretman chimes, “Hold up, y’all, slow down a minute. Why does Corpse never call me baby?”

“Yeah!” Pokimane agrees, “I want to be baby, too!”

Pokimane may not have been called baby, but you just single-handedly decided her nickname for her - Target 4. Welcome to the shit list, she is officially your public enemy number 1. You aren’t sure why the thought of Corpse ever referring to anyone else as baby makes you sick to your stomach (you actually do know why, but brain no think at the moment), but you wish this whole conversation never happened. You don’t like it.

20 seconds left. More VOTED icons appear by your friends. Corpse is the last one to cast his ballot at, you assume, you, as the rest wait for his quick explanation before everyone (or not) returns to the game, “...Because she’s my baby.”

Goodbye. Life had been sweet, and there was sorrow, though the amount of embarrassment you feel now is worse than when the internet found your cringe worthy high school pictures on your mom’s Facebook. It’s a mixture of dread and excitement - the pleasure of being noticed, cherished even, though anxious from vulnerability. Someone is screaming a very prolonged “WHAAAAT?!”, or maybe multiple people are, you aren’t sure, your ears start to hurt from the loud, conflicting cacophony of voices as you stare blankly at the screen. You received two votes, just like Corpse, Charlie got one, the rest skipped. With no one flung out, you all find yourself back in Cafeteria again.

Baby. My baby? My baby. My baby. The sentence is playing ping-pong in your mind, reverberating louder each time. You’re actually speechless for the first time in your life; your chest hurts, your heart beating so fast your hands start shaking. Had he meant it? Or was this a some joke? Was he trying to get a rise out of you again? You might just go insane from so many questions. My baby. Holy shit, this is a heart attack, this is what a heart attack feels like, dear God, you figured you at least had ten years before you get one!

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First round ends with IMPOSTORS raining victorious. Your sixth sense had been working wonders since, true to you previous estimate, it had been Corpse. His companion was Pokimane. For absolutely no reason what’s so ever, you change her name once more from Target 4 to Target 1. Normally, you’re all for girls supporting girls. Men don’t deserve anything, really, but now you’re so flustered and still reeling from what you are 80% sure was cardiac arrest that you genuinely don’t care about your established morals.

Round two starts without much deliberation. You get CREW MATE again; the game must sense your growing bloodlust, making sure that once you do get IMPOSTOR, you will not hold back. True power is granted to those who are ready and strong enough to wield it. You wait for your moment with bated breath.

Charlie is taken from you too early. The two of you were once again caught in a discussion - God knows about what, Minecraft, hentai, oh! your server! - as you tried to card swipe for the umpteenth time. The lights blew out and you just knew one of you was getting murdered there and then. Charlie’s voice abruptly cut off, and you think a part of you died with him.

It’s a cold meeting; with your new best friend being the first to go, everyone decides to skip. You proclaim you seek vengeance. When the meeting comes to an end, Sykkuno is the first to offer his condolences.

“I’m sorry, Y/n.” He says, and while he’s not in Brooklyn, you somehow feel him patting your back. You feign a sniffle.

“There’s nothing to apologize for...” You murmur sadly, “Unless...” Your voice turns sharp as the knife that was surely twisted into Charlie’s back, “It was you?”

“NO!” He exclaims, “I would never-you gotta believe me! I would never kill him. I know he’s important to you. I wouldn’t do that, I swear.”

“He was like a brother to me.” You admit, solemn, “Charlie, if you’re haunting me right now, know I will avenge you. I will not let this go.”

Sykkuno hums, circling around you, “Hey, I have a task in Greenhouse. Would you, uh--Would like to, uhm, join me?” Despite the shaky start, he finishes on a firm, pleasant note. He’s trying to cheer you up. Having lost your closest friend, he’s offering you his company. You accept with a soft smile and a cute “Yes, please!” and he releases an airy little laugh. The two of you make your way to your favorite place in map MIRA.

It’s difficult to stay sad for long when Sykkuno’s so sweet; the atmosphere of the Greenhouse is strangely calming; your problems seem to be left behind the shut doors. If you tried hard enough, you could imagine being in an actual Greenhouse - the warm, damp air clinging to your skin, the unmistakable smell of earth and vegetation, the pleasant silence broken only by yours and his hushed voices and clumsy footsteps.

The two of you are talking. Mainly about your choice of attire. Cat first, Sykkuno ponders aloud, doing his task as you watch the plants grow, now bunny, what’s next? You affirm that you will most likely dress up in cow-print next, or as an adorable sheep. He laughs, admitting you’ll look good in anything before he trails off. His awkwardness is really endearing. 

“Or!” You chirp happily, content with being locked away with him for the whole game. The idea must be playing in his mind, too, because he seems in no rush to leave, “I could, like, dress as someone from My Hero Academia. I watched the stream you did with Stella, the one where she made you look like Todoroki. It was really cute. You were really cute.”

“Oh, uhm-well, uh, thank you, thanks, I, uhm-” He clears his throat, and despite his stutter, you hear the smile in his voice, “I-I think you’d look better, though. Not as Todoroki. Or, probably as Todoroki, too. But, uhm, what character are you thinking about?”

“Maybe Momo?”

“Momo!” He yeps, “Momo is good. Yeah, she’s great. You’ll-uhm-you’ll look amazing. Really. Momo is awesome. Very pretty. Just like you.”

You are blushing. A stupid, toothy grin makes your cheeks hurt. Your eyes flicker to the chat, but again, it’s going wild. Giggling, you thank him for his sweet words, so giddy it’s honestly embarrassing. Why can’t you stop smiling? This is incriminating. You hide your lips behind your palm.

“...What’s this?” Corpse question. You had failed to note his sudden appearance, too busy gushing. “Am I interrupting?”

“Hey, Corpse!” Sykkuno greets. For someone so awkward and shy, he sure is good at hiding it when he wants to. Perhaps it’s all an act and you had been deviously tricked! Probably not, but you can’t help but narrow your eyes suspiciously, finally able to calm down. You definitely underestimated him, you just haven’t figured out how yet, “Not really! Y/n was sad Charlie died so I took her here.”

“You interrupted our date, dipshit.” You deadpan. 

“...Fuck you say?” Corpse dares, his voice low and somewhat menacing - for someone who exclusively portrays his emotions through only his voice, he’s incredibly hard to read. This is payback. Your love for wreaking havoc resurfaces suddenly. Serves him right for pulling all this ignoring shit at the start. Maybe you’ll make him say oh again.

Your sly smirk is promptly wiped. Fuck. He said oh, he literally said oh out loud. The Teruhashi fangirl in you is screaming. You had been so caught up in defending yourself you didn’t even register it at first. Alarmed, you look at the camera, then at the chat. First oh, then my baby. There’s no way he had been teasing you, and this proves it. Holy shit. You mouth the words “HE SAID OH!” for your audience only.

now she notices

snail pace baby we’ve been loosing our shit for the past hour 

corpse x y/n saikik au enemies to lovers 500k words slow burn im here for it

opening wattpad rn^

Your heart races in your chest - it might be considered an Olympic medalist at this point; flustered yet again, you wish you could cave into yourself. You should’ve brought your bright blue wig with you to Brooklyn. Turns out it would have been perfect for this stream. Yes, yes thinking about unnecessary details always works in distracting you from the butterflies throwing a fucking rave in your stomach. 

“I guess it is a date!” Sykkuno admits, “Kinda after a funeral, but still.”

Corpse hums. You’re still too stunned to say anything. The black astronaut with adorable cat ears approaches Sykkuno. 

“It’s not.” He states. Your mouth falls open in shock as your date, your companion, the Shoto to your Momo is murdered in cold blood right in front of you. His lifeless body, cut in half, lays on the tiles by the growing flowers, right beside you, “You didn’t see shit.”

“...I didn’t see shit.” Is all you can utter, breathless and terrified.

“Thaaaat’s fucking right, baby.” Corpse coos, “Now I’m gonna report it, and I’ll say we found Sykkuno together. Better stick close to me after the meeting, got it?”

If Sykkuno is Shoto, then Corpse is definitely Dabi. 

why is that kinda hot tho omg

didn’t know i needed dom corpse since now but i do

y/n looks like shes boutta throw up lmao 

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You follow him around like a lost puppy - because what else is left for you to do!? You’re helpless in this situation. He’s got you in the palm of his hand, successfully eliminating everyone you had previously interacted with. First it was Charlie, then Sykkuno, even Sean, who said hello in passing, was shot instantly. Real Sangwoo behavior. You almost want to scream warnings at everyone to not approach you. You cannot mourn another lost crew mate, you don’t think your conscience can take it. But words fail to form. You’re too weak. You fake cry to your audience. They’re quick to remind you to stop acting like a little bitch.

“Mean.” Is all you say, eyeing the comments.

“Hm?”

“Was talking to the roaches.”

“What are they saying?”

“That I should betray you.”

“...Better not.”

A shiver shoots up your spine and you half believe he will bust down your door and drag you into his basement for real. A nervous laugh slips past your lips, “I won’t, I won’t.” You reassure him, “Don’t worry, I’m sticking with you. I haven’t seen shit.”

“I like that you listen to me. You always this agreeable?”

“You’re kinda not giving me a choice right now.” You grumble, vending yourself a drink while he looms behind you, protecting you. From who?! Himself?!

“Oh my fucking God, finally,” Bretman exclaims, “girl, I’ve been running around the whole map trynna find someone, is everyone like, dead?”

You’re scared to reply. Corpse does it for you, “Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, maybe? Not sure. Where have you been?”

“Oh you know,” Bretman grins, “doing tasks, talking shit, the usual. You two are not, like, Impostors right?”

You shoot a look at Corpse, but he obviously can’t see it. Biting your lip, you murmur, “Nope.”

“Just your regular crew mates doing regular crew mate things.” Corpse says, no, purrs. Because that’s not suspicious at all. You’d recommend Bretman to run, and not only because that sounded shady as fuck. But he seems to enjoy danger, or he just doesn’t care.

“Hmmmm, crew mates, sure. Miss girl Y/n,” He’s addressing you now; you smile anxiously, “How come every time I see you, you’re with a different man?! Like damn, leave some for the rest of us, for real!”

You like Bretman. You like his high-pitched whine and drawl. You would like him even more if not for the complex situation at hand. You fear for his life. Chewing at your bottom lip, you snicker, “Sorry, Bret. I can leave you Corpse if you want?”

He laughs, “Girl, I’d say yes so fucking quick, but I know he wouldn’t want that. Normally I wouldn’t care, but y’all are such a cute couple it’s making me not want to be a shady motherfucking bitch. Changing my ways, embracing the lord. Love it.”

 Corpse doesn’t correct him that you are, in fact, not dating. His lack of reaction unnerves you slightly. Does he...? No! No think! Only exist! You catch that train of thought and steer it away from forbidden territory. Looks like it’s up to you to clear the air, and that is exactly what you do after trying to swallow down the lump in your throat, “Uh, we’re not together, actually. We’re just really good friends.”

“Bitch, then move over,” Bretman says snappily,”go like, back to your other boyfriends. Or find another one. I think I saw Dream near Navigation.”

“Near Navigation, huh?” Corpse hums thoughtfully. It’s a subtle warning, but you catch it. Yeah, even if you try running, Dream’s going to join your other ‘boyfriends’ in the afterlife. Granted, killing someone by just talking with them is kind of cool. Or maybe Stockholm Syndrome is finally kicking in, “Bret, the thing is, Y/n’s scared of dying, so she asked me to stay with her.”

It’s disturbing how good at lying he is. It is also really really attractive, as bizarre as that is.

y/n stop being in a toxic relationship with corpse challenge

making fanart of this omg her face

its the blushing for me girl get your head outta the gutter!

^she cant, it lives there

“Baby, you’re gonna fucking die if you stick with her,” Bretman points out, “have you noticed the mortality rate of her partners? Rest in peace, daddy.”

“He’s right, you know.” You mutter, dramatically looking to the side, “I’m no good, Corpse.”

“Not leaving you, end of discussion. Bretman, join us?” Corpse offers, catching you by surprise. He might still be lying, though. Creating a false sense of security before eliminating Bretman. Probably would laugh while doing it, too. Wow, he truly is evil.

Turns out he doesn’t have to do any of that, because when Dream strolls into Cafeteria, he kills Bretman instead. The two Impostors are finally revealed. You promised not to snitch on Corpse, but you didn’t say shit about not exposing Dream. You press the REPORT button and say just that: “Dream just murdered Bret right in front of me and Corpse.”

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The last meeting is called. Dream had been voted out with the help of Corpse, and now only you, he, and Rae remain.

“Baby, you know what to do.”

The VOTED icon pops up beside Corpse’s astronaut. Rae wheezes, “No! Y/n, it’s not me, you gotta believe me, I swear it’s not me!”

“...I really don’t know,” You murmur, “I’ve been with Corpse a lot, and...Rae, I’m not sure...”

“Please! I swear it on my Kagayama cardboard cut out, I’m not the Impostor, please! You know me, I’d never lie to you like this.”

“She’s definitely lying.” Corpse says, sounding pleased.

“Don’t listen to him! Remember, during the first round, when he tried to convince us that you were the Impostor? He’s doing the same shit to me!”

“I also remember you agreeing with him.” You remind her.

“I was stupid! Small dumb brain moment! He was using us to win! He’s using you right now!” She votes, “Please, Y/n, make the right choice.”

You’re silent for a moment.

“I’m gonna...I’m gonna vote for who I think it is.” You lastly say.

A slow, lazy grin makes it’s way onto your lips, eyes gleaming mischievously. You had not forgotten your promise to your brother from another mother, you had not forgotten the pride of the BDA, you had not forgotten your beautiful friendship. Two miniature astronauts pop up by Corpse’s at the exact moment Rae screeches “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!”

“Fuck.” Is all Corpse says with a laugh.

The screen changes, informing of the first CREW MATE victory.

Your ears are assaulted with different voices as you appear in the lobby.

“Now that’s what I’m fucking talking about.” Charlie raves, “I swear to fucking God, Y/n, you even got me going for a second. Pulled some 1000 IQ shit right there. It was fucking amazing. Best back stabbing I’ve seen in a while, and I’ve seen a lot.”

“That was absolutely fantastic, Y/n.” Sean applauds, “I really thought you joined Corpse like some crew mate accomplice or something. Can’t believe you switched on him at the last second.”

“That’s my wifey!” Rae cheers, strolling to you, “Love you, mwah.”

“Hey, Corpse,” Charlie calls him, “How does it feel to be a fucking loser?”

“I’m surprisingly fine with it.”

yeah he would be lmao

mom is the best snake ever i love you sm y/n

rae and y/n’s friendship....the feeeeeels

As the rest sing your praises for another solid minute or two, the third round begins. CREW MATE again. Though, just because you’re stuck as an underpaid worker in a dying spaceship, it doesn’t mean you’re innocent. Your last round proved that quite well. You can’t help but silently snicker.

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TAGLIST IS CLOSED!

tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @bingusmode - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury--moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

[my-emotional-self]

Toxic Love Chapter 13

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader x Bucky Barnes

Summary: Finding out your soulmates were Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes was one thing.  But when someone from your past comes back to haunt you, you have to figure out if a relationship with two super soldiers is something you really want to pursue or if you’d rather go back to your comfortable single life.

Series Warnings:  18+, Swearing, Angst, Fluff, past mentions of rape, self-harm, attempted rape, domestic violence, stalking, death threats, possible Dark!Steve?, Steve will be an asshole a LOT in this series but I don’t know how dark it will get, explicit sexual content, mental health issues, kind of A/B/O dynamics but not really (no they are not actual wolves, more like the hierarchy), mentions of suicide, flashbacks of suicide, nightmares

A/N: There will be no taglist for this story!  I apologize in advance!

Your heart sunk as Steve’s words echoed throughout your head.  He said he wanted to talk.  He said that things were not alright.  This was it. This was why you never bothered to try and be in another relationship again.  Sure, John was part of that decision too.  After what he had done to you for years, you didn’t want to start any kind of relationship either.  You were happy with your single life.  Just you, your cozy apartment and your job.  What more could you have asked for?

Now, now you were starting to really enjoy the relationship and dynamic between Steve and Bucky, but what happens now?  Do you move out? Do you remain in a relationship with Bucky?  Just because someone has a soulmate, doesn’t mean it always works out.  It’s rare to not live your life with a soulmate, but it’s happened.  

“Stevie, what’s going on here?” Bucky asked, walking further into the room.  

Steve sighed, turning to face you and Bucky.  “Look. Why don’t we all just take a shower and meet back in the living room.  I’ll have pizza ordered and we can talk about a few things.”

“Yeah.  Alright pal,” Bucky spoke as he placed a hand on your shoulder.  “Are you alright doll?”

No.  No you were most certainly not alright.  Your chin began to quiver but you willed your tears to stay away, at least for now.  “I think so,” you replied to Bucky, your eyes begging Steve to look at you but he wouldn’t.

When you made it to the hallway, you ran to your door as you couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. Once inside, your underwear and shirt were ripped from your body on your own accord.  With the shower turned on, you stood under the waterfall and cried. Sobbing your heart out.  You didn’t know what Steve wanted to talk about. The only thing on your mind was that he wanted to end things with you.  

After your tears ran dry, you hopped out of the shower and dried off.  You were rather sore in the lower half so you decided to forgo wearing any underwear and instead put on a baggy pair of sweat pants along with a long sleeve top to hide the cuts on your wrist.  

Slipping on your slippers, you quietly walked down the hallway and towards the living room. Bucky and Steve were both already there. All three of you were practically matching.  Everyone wearing sweatpants and comfortable shirts.  They were moving the pizza boxes into the living room when Bucky eyed you.

He motioned his head towards the couch.  “Come on doll.  Let’s eat.”

The last thing on your mind was eating at this point.  Your stomach was a wreck of nerves as you sat down in the middle of the couch.  Steve and Bucky sat on the chairs on either side of you and they began to dig into the pizza.  

You wanted to eat. You wanted to show Steve that you could obey the rules, but your stomach was in knots.  Bile began to work its way up your throat and you rushed to grab your water, taking a sip.

“You have to eat Y/N,” Steve said between bites; his eyes finally on you.  

Again, your chin began to tremble.  This time you weren’t able to stop the single tear that rolled down your cheek.  “I-I can’t.  I’ll eat after we talk.  I promise. I’m too nervous to even think about food right now.”

Bucky put his plate down, concern on his face.  “Why are you so nervous doll?”

The floodgates opened and no matter how hard you tried, you just couldn’t stop the tears.  “You’re going to break up with me aren’t you Steve?” you bawled.  “Please don’t leave me.  I didn’t mean to be bad.  I’ll do better.  I promise! But you can’t leave me!  I’m so sorry I fucked this up Steve!  I always fuck things up.”

You were weeping deeply, your hands covering your face as you were bent at the waist; forehead to your knees.  The couch dipped on either side of you and you were lifted by strong arms into someone’s lap.  Steve. It was Steve’s lap.  You knew his smell.  

There was a cold chill on your back and you knew it was from Bucky’s metal arm.  “Sweetheart,” Steve cooed as he rocked you gently back and forth, “Where did you get the idea that I wanted to leave you?”

Your fingers gripped his shirt, pulling him closer to you as you tried your best to take deep breaths, inhaling his scent.  God it was so calming being this close to him.  

“You-you said things weren’t ok and that-that we needed to-to talk,” you hiccupped.  Steve held you tighter as you spoke.  

“No sweetheart.  I would never leave you.  There is nothing you can do that would make me want to leave this relationship.  Do you understand me?”  You didn’t want to speak, so instead you nodded your head.  “Alright good.  Now, I’m going to hand you over to Bucky because I have to go and grab a few things.”

Carefully, Bucky pulled you into his arms and you curled up on his lap; your head resting against his chest.  His heartbeat was strong.  Steady. Just like Steve’s.  It was calming and soothing.  

“Doll, what’s got you acting like this?  First you were furious and angry and now this.  I’m worried about you.”

His words clenched at your heart.  It had been a lot time since anyone said they were actually worried about you.  John never worried about you.  No.  He didn’t care how you felt.  All he cared about was how he felt.  He was the most selfish man you had ever met.  

Steve’s footsteps made you perk your head up.  In his hands were a few folders with paper tucked inside.  He sat at the end of the couch facing you and Bucky.  

“Why don’t you come sit in the middle,” Steve said, patting the couch.  Like a sloth, you slowly untangled yourself from Bucky and sat cross legged in the middle of the couch.  “Now, I want you to know that I am not mad at you alright?  But I am disappointed.”

Disappointed.  That was never a fun feeling.  It never felt good to hear someone is disappointed in you. Especially if that someone means a lot to you.  

Steve grabbed the folders in his hands before giving them to Bucky.  You didn’t know what was in those folders.  You weren’t sure you ever wanted to know.  The last few days had been long and tiring and you just wanted to sleep for the next week straight.  

It was quiet in the living room as Bucky glanced over the paperwork.  He didn’t say anything.  With a quick glance, you looked over to him.  His face was emotionless.  Was that a good thing?  At least he didn’t look angry.  Right? Your heart hammered in your chest as you waited.  Waited for what seemed like hours.  Was this night ever going to end?

“Are we ready to begin?” Steve asked as he watched Bucky close the folders and place them on the coffee table in front of you.  

Bucky was still quiet, his thoughts pondering everything for a few minutes.  “Take it away Stevie.”

A few tears trailed down your cheeks as you waited.  At least Steve wasn’t breaking up with you, so that was a positive thing.  

“You’ve withheld some pretty important information from us Y/N,” Steve’s voice was stern, but not angry. “Do you want to tell us about that?”

Your arms trembled as you placed them on your lap.  You began to play with the hem of your shirt as you thought of what to say.  “Is it about my ex?” you asked.  

“That, and some other things.  But let’s start off with him,” Steve began to speak with authority as he picked up one of the folders on table and began to go through it.  “From the first time we discussed your past, the way you made it sound was that you were only with him for a few months after he began raping and beating you.  From this police file, it states you were with him for almost four years.”

He was right.  You were with him for that long.  John was rich.  He had security and power.  Power over other people and definitely power over you.  You had felt like a prisoner with him.  It took many years to plan your escape.  To plan it in such a way that you knew he’d be locked up for good.

You explained that to Steve and Bucky and they sat close to you, nodding at your words.  They were being very understanding of this all and that was exactly what you needed.  “I’m sorry if I made it sound like I was only with him for a few months.  I didn’t mean for it to come out that way.”

“It’s ok doll, we understand,” Bucky cooed softly, grabbing your hand with his as his thumb rubbed soothing circles on your skin.  

Steve closed the folder and picked up the other one.  It was thick. There was so much paper inside that folder.  “Now,” Steve began as he held up the folder in his hands.  “Were you ever going to tell us about your mental health issues?”

Yep.  You kind of figured this was what it was going to be about. Steve moved closer to you as he wiped a tear from your cheek.  “I-I, yes I was going to tell you about that.  I just was kind of waiting for the right time because you two had a lot on your plate with missions.  I didn’t want to distract you two.”

“Sweetheart, that’s not how this relationship works.  You’ll never be a distraction to us.  You are the most important person in our lives and we just want to be able to protect you and keep you safe.  Is this why you’ve been acting out so much the last few days?”

You nodded and began to explain everything to them.  They had already read your file of course, but they wanted to hear it from you.  You explained your parents suicide.  How mental health runs in the family.  You explained that you were diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and how your medications were not working.  They were worried about that part instantly, but you assured them you had an appointment with your psychiatrist in a few weeks to sort that all out.  

“Let me see your arm sweetheart,” Steve said in a soft tone.  

Your eyes snapped up to meet his.  “What? Why?”  You didn’t want to show them your cuts.  You didn’t want them to worry about you anymore than they already had.

Steve’s eyes were both pleading and demanding.  You knew you weren’t getting out of this situation.  With a shaky sigh, you gave him your left arm.  He carefully pulled back the long sleeves and a gasp left both his and Bucky’s mouth.  

Bucky moved from the spot behind you and kneeled in front of you and Steve.  They both had your arm in their hands as they gently inspected the cuts that ran up and down your wrist.  

“Oh doll,” Bucky spoke with sadness in his voice, making you break down.  

“I’m sorry,” you wept, not being able to hold back anymore.  “I’m so sorry.  I didn’t mean to, I promise.  Please don’t be mad at me.”

You were wrapped up in their strong arms and you had never felt so safe, so protected in your life.

“We’re not mad at you doll. Not about this,” Bucky said, Steve quickly agreeing with him.  

“You promise?”

“We promise doll.”

Steve and Bucky sat on the couch as you lay across their legs.  Your head was on Steve’s chest and your legs rested on Bucky’s.  You had felt so content, so satisfied to just be sitting there with your soulmates.

“I want to apologize to you Y/N for how I acted last night,” Steve said and you pulled away from his chest to look at him.  Your brows furrowed in confusion.  “When we were together last night.  Intimate. I was a little rough with you and I’m sorry.  I never meant to hurt you.”

“Steve,” you said his name with a smile on your lips.  “Don’t be sorry.  You didn’t hurt me, I promise.  And as for the rough part.  Well, I really enjoyed it,” you admitted.  “Too be honest.  I was kind of surprised.  I didn’t think you had it in you.  I was fully expecting Bucky to be the rough one in the relationship.”

The three of you let out soft chuckles of laughter.  

“There is something we should probably discuss though,” Bucky spoke up.  “I know we’ve both been with you now, intimately.  But we never discussed being safe.”

You knew exactly what Bucky was talking about and you wanted to ease their minds.  “No need to worry about that.  I’m clean and I’m on the pill too.”

Collective sighs came from both of your soulmates.  No babies for you three yet.  At least, not anytime soon.  You wanted to enjoy your time with them.  You wanted them to yourself.  

You face became ablaze with heat as you felt their eyes on you.  

“Tell us what you want doll. What do you want right this moment?” Bucky asked, his hands roaming over you sweatpants clad legs.  

Looking between the two of them, there was only one thing in this exact moment that you wanted.  

“I want both of you.”

That was all they needed to hear.  Steve picked you up, bridal style and the three of you made quick work of getting to your bedroom.

[woulddieforperrytheplatypus]

What're some of your favorite moments between Doof and Perry during Phineas and Ferb?

You have absolutely no idea how fucking long I spent making this video fhdsjahkjaf I’m gonna gush under the cut about why I liked each one so y’all don’t have to deal with me if you don’t want to lol

These are in no particular order. They’re just numbered to line up with the reasoning. I added lil descriptions to each of them but you’ll probably have to either watch the video first or have a pretty good memory of the show to understand them lol

1. “Dr. Wexler, you’re a platypus?” (A Hard Day’s Knight)

Literally just the way he says, “Dr. Wexler, you’re a platypus?”

2. “Is every platypus named Perry?” and then Perry bites him (AT2D)

M O N C H (also Heinz calls him cute) (also also “We do not bite the elderly!”)

3. Perry tries to fly him and Heinz home from the desert but Heinz flips the turbo switch and they lose the jetpack (Road to Danville)

“Like you didn’t know about my switch-flipping compulsion!” They’re literally an old married couple omfg I can’t even (also moment of appreciation for the fact that they’re close enough that Heinz just assumes Perry knows about his switch-flipping compulsion) (another moment of appreciation because Perry probably does)

4. The end of the Perry/Doof subplot of Terrifying Tri-State Trilogy of Terror

First of all, the way Perry decides to run under his giant floating head when going around would take two extra seconds? Beautiful. And, of course, Perry’s fucking smirk because that’s just not his problem lmaooo

5. The pause in the FIGHT FIGHT IT’S A PLATYPUS FIGHT (Doofapus)

I love that they literally just stop mid-fight to have tea. I firmly believe there is no other pair of nemeses that would do that and this is just how Heinz and Perry work. Also, Perry’s smile? He feels so understood? It’s so pure?

6. Vanessa lets Perry in before he can break down the door with his rocket launcher and then Perry accidentally shoots it through the wall (My Sweet Ride)

“This is why I can never have anything nice -_-”

7. Heinz doesn’t trap Perry (Road to Danville)

He’s so confused fjdahfksdhfak he literally goes out of his way to get trapped at that point (even if he pretends he doesn’t) and Heinz flipped the script on him without telling him and his lil shrug is so cute and I just jsfhkjadhsk

8. There’s a Platypus Controlling Me (Brain Drain)

You had to know this one was gonna be there

9. “In your letters, you said your nemesis was a suave, semi-aquatic personification of unstoppable dynamic fury” (Oil on Candace)

The fact that Heinz sent his ex-professor a letter gushing about his nemesis is just *chef’s kiss*

10. Perry and Dennis are fighting in giant puppets in the street and Heinz recognizes Perry piloting the puppet because of his fighting style (The Return of the Rogue Rabbit)

I’m pretty sure this is the only time Heinz ever recognizes Perry without his hat on (correct me if I’m wrong tho) and the fact that it’s literally just because Perry punched the fuckin camera kills me every time

11. Heinz is worried they won’t make his play in time so Perry tells him to flip the turbo switch (Road to Danville)

Perry just trusts him so much??? Flipping the switch was what got them into that mess in the first place??? But Perry cares so much about Heinz making his LOVEMUFFIN play that he’s willing to give it another go??? I love it???

12. DANCE BABY DANCE BABY HANDS IN THE AIR (Candace Disconnected)

I feel like we don’t get to see Perry just kinda hanging out like that a lot. He’s always doing that steely glare, even when they’re having fun. I don’t think Perry really realizes how emotionless he can look sometimes (the beginning and end of Sidetracked are from Perry’s POV especially at the end, the way he acts with the boys shows too much character for a secret agent, so even though he seems to think it’s obvious that he’s all lovey dovey with them, he does much too good a job at hiding his emotions) but it’s nice to see him drop the facade every now and then

13. Heinz calls Monogram because Perry hasn’t shown up (Perry the Actorpus)

I know Perry’s not technically in this one but I love that Heinz a) calls OWCA when Perry doesn’t show up and b) looks so nervous as he calls OWCA because Perry hasn’t shown up

14. Perry brings Heinz a glass of water (Road to Danville)

Half this episode is just them being mad at each other because they blame the other one for sticking them in the desert with way home, and I love that even though Perry’s been fuming pretty much the entire time, the second Heinz actually starts yelling at him, he’s immediately hit with a wave of guilt (also I love that he somehow found a glass of water in the middle of the desert?)

15. “YOU PEED ON MY COUCH!” (AT2D)

Not gonna lie, I mostly picked this one for shits and giggles BUT that doesn’t mean I can’t overanalyze it because that’s what I do best. Perry’s whole role in the show is to tie together the two completely unrelated plots, and that’s only so entertaining because not only does neither side know the other, but neither side knows what version of Perry the other side knows. This is the first time Heinz has really connected mindless pet Perry with Agent P Perry, and I feel like that was the most interesting part of the movie was that Phineas, Ferb, Candace, and Heinz all saw a side of Perry they didn’t know. 

16. Heinz invites Perry out for lunch (The Quietest Day Ever)

Heinz doesn’t even know he got hit with the de-handsome-inator. He literally just thinks he lost, and his immediate reaction is to ask if Perry wants to hang out. I just love those lil insights into their relationship when they’re not fighting. Also, perry.exe has stopped working.

17. Honestly just all of Father’s Day

I hate knowing that chronologically, Father’s Day had to happen probably less than halfway through the summer and not towards the end like it does in the episode order. It’s such a sweet turning point in their relationship. Perry’s head all these horrible backstories about Mr. Doofenshmirtz and I can only assume he hates the guy, but he’s still so supportive of Heinz trying to win his approval -- and he’s supportive when that fails and Heinz needs someone to lean on.

18. Perry Lays An Egg

T H W A R T   M E   P E R R Y   T H E   P L A T Y P U S 

19. Heinz proving he knows how to shut the fuck up by refusing to shut the fuck up (Road to Danville)

Perry’s literally about to fight a bitch and I can’t blame him. I also like the lil look into Heinz’s thoughts with the “it’s not like I have to fill the space” line because it really explains a lot about him.

20. Perry waiting for the New Year’s ball to drop and for Heinz to finish his scheme (Happy New Year!)

Once again, a beautiful look at how their entire relationship is based on their routine and knowing what to expect. It wouldn’t be Heinz and Perry if there was not punching and kicking involved. (Also, Perry’s smug face while he waits) (Also also, Perry’s lil shrug)

21. Heinz invites Perry to hang out in his house in the suburbs (Put That Putter Away)

GIVE PERRY A DAY OFF (but for real I love that Heinz literally just asked if he wanted to hang out, AND that he assured Perry that he’d make sure he didn’t get in trouble with Monogram for it)

22. The end of Sidetracked

THEY? HOLD? HAND???

23. “The thing that’s kept me from succeeding all these years is YOU!” *turns finger around* (Road to Danville)

PERRY IS SO DONE WITH HIS SHlT I CAN’T FDJAFHDJLSFHDSAKJ

24. Roger tries to say hi to sleeping Perry (Just Our Luck)

How often does Perry have to fall asleep around Heinz for the guy to know he gets testy when someone wakes him up?

25. The brief New Year’s dance break (Happy New Year!)

THEIR DANCING IS SO FAST AND SO IN SYNC EITHER THEY REHEARSED THIS OR THEY JUST KNOW EACH OTHER SO WELL THAT IT JUST HAPPENS NATURALLY AND I WOULD DIE FOR THEM OKAY

26. Perry accidentally became famous for advertising tools and then shows up at DEI (Perry the Actorpus)

He’s so happy to see his nemesis again :,)

27. “You think I’m evil, right?” *finger guns* (Oil on Candace)

Perry is at least partially responsible for how horribly that day went, but that’s his job is to make sure evil scientists don’t impress other evil scientists. You don’t want, like, an evil scientist team up or whatever. But I’m decently sure there’s nothing in the job description that says Perry has to stick around and assure his nemesis that he’s good at being evil, so that’s all Perry’s doing.

28. Perry pulled an all nighter and shows up at DEI asleep and Heinz has to try not to wake him up (Just Our Luck)

The amount of respect it takes for Heinz to see his nemesis sleeping on the job and go out of his way not to wake him up (but to make sure he’s still included, of course; he’s not a disrespectful guy, even if he is evil) warms my heart

29. Perry shows Heinz a bunch of their pictures together (This Is Your Backstory)

a) I love that Perry carries those pictures in his wallet 

b) I love that those pictures exist at all

 c) I love that Heinz has enjoyed his nemesisship with Perry so much that it basically negates every tragic backstory

[settersloveletters]

hello i recently saw a post about sugar daddy kenma and i immediately thought like cld u write an angst (w good ending maybe?) w sugar daddy kenma but he actually falls in love w the reader but thinks she's just there for the money bc obviously she's a sugar baby and her being in love w kenma but thinks o well he probably has other sugar babies so it doesn't mean anything if that makes sense ckfmsk

— 11:11; oneshot

a/n: this one was actually so fun to write, but it took me maybe more than 6 hours to write and it’s currently 6 am aha (っ˘̩╭╮˘̩)っ anyways, i hope you enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing it ♡ this also became over the word limit for our scenarios so i made it into a oneshot whoops

➳ request: kenma is y/n’s sugar daddy who falls in love with her + angst

➳ characters: sugar daddy!kenma x sugar baby f!reader

➳ word count: 3.4k

➳ warnings: daddy kink + light nsfw

➳ admin: kiri ♡

↳ lowercase intended

[9:01] kenma: did you get the gift darling?

[9:01] y/n: yes daddy, i love it <33

[9:02] y/n: image.jpeg

kenma smirked to himself after opening the image of you showing off his latest gift for you. having been in a ‘sugaring’ relationship with you for a little over a year, he knew what you were into. meaning he knew what types of gifts that would get you riled up. his gift for you this time was a baby pink soft sheer slip on dress. you always loved pastel colours over the usual dominating red and black colours other sugar babies would choose.

[9:05] y/n: baby :(

[9:05] y/n: did you not like the picture :(

oh how lucky kenma was to have a sugar baby like you. you were definitely one of a kind in the world.

[11:06] kenma: sorry love, i was just admiring how delectable you look in that little dress i got you

[11:06] kenma: why don’t you come over tonight?

[11:07] y/n: i’m sorry baby i can’t :(

[11:07] y/n: you know i have that paper i need to write for my psychology class

and there was the one flaw about you. whenever kenma suggested you coming over to his place, not to do anything dirty you h-word people, you always managed to be busy. whether it be with work, or school, even when he offered to pay for your rent and your tuition. you always declined.

that’s where kenma’s thoughts split into two. you never asked for anything really. it was usually kenma giving you gifts he thought you would enjoy, which you did. however, when it came to spend more time together privately, you gently declined. he would never force you to do anything you didn’t want to do, don’t get him wrong, but he did in fact want to get closer to you.

why you ask? why would a sugar daddy that agreed to a no-sex relationship want to get intimately closer with his sugar baby? well the answer was simple of course.

he fell in love with you.

after one year of texting, one year of taking you out on little dates to the aquarium or on a picnic at the park, kozume kenma had fallen in love, with you. to the unsuspecting eye, the two would seem like a normal couple, and not as a sugar daddy and a sugar baby. if only that were true. at least to kenma.

[11:10] kenma: that’s okay darling, you know how much i want you to focus on school

[11:10] y/n: i knew you’d understand

[11:11] y/n: 11:11, make a wish baby :)

i wish that you felt the same as me. i wish that we weren’t in this type of relationship. i wish that i could just call you mine. i wish that i could just shower you with love. i wish that you loved me, as much as i loved you.

[11:11] kenma: i wish that my darling would go focus on her paper so that i could take her out on another date

[11:11] y/n: daddy why are you so cute :(

[11:12] kenma: what’s your wish my love

[11:12] y/n: tsk tsk, it’s 11:12 and you know the rules daddy

[11:12] kenma: oh how you tease me darling

kenma laughed time himself at the banter you both had. you were completely different than the other girls he has ever encountered. the way you were down to earth, yet the playfulness you had deep down. kenma loved everything about you. but he doubted that you would ever feel the same about him. for now he was content with what you had. as much as it hurt, he didn’t wanna lose you.

[11:13] y/n: i better go finish that paper, i’ll talk to you later baby

[11:13] kenma: how about tomorrow we go out after your classes are done. we can go to your favourite café to celebrate the coming of a new weekend.

[11:14] y/n: mm, sounds great i’ll see you tomorrow <3

kenma went to bed that night, dreaming about the moment he would get to wrap his arms around your waist and pull you into his chest as you both fall asleep to each other’s soft breathing

kenma waited in his car a metres away from the entrance to your university. he decided to surprise you and pick you up and drive together to your favourite café. that was his plan at least. until he got a new text message from you.

[5:05] y/n: i’m so sorry daddy, but something came up :( can we reschedule that café date

as disappointed as kenma was, he knew that you would never cancel one of your outings together unless for a good reason. he was too soft for you.

[5:06] kenma: don’t worry about it darling, are you alright?

[5:06] y/n: yeah dw i’m fine, i’ll talk to you later tonight tho <33

putting his phone away, kenma drove off gripping his steering wheel. it’s been a week or two since he last saw you in person and he missed you. he missed seeing your smile in person. missed hearing your soft voice. the way your laugh sounded like he was in heaven. kenma was definitely head over heels in love with you.

sighing to himself, he decided to head over to your favourite café anyways since he himself liked their dark roast coffee. he parked a few feet away from the café, next to the curb side of the main road. just when he was about to get out, a familiar figure could be spotted from the corner of his eye. he looked up to see you walking out of the café you two visited often together with another man dressed in a nice suit.

kenma’s heart stopped. who was that man you were with? was he another sugar daddy of yours? is he the reason why you cancelled on him? were you really just like the other girls, seeking out any man that would waste their money on you? kenma glared at the back of both yours and the mysterious man’s heads. he really thought you were content with what you both had already. you told him that he was the only guy that served as a sugar daddy for you. but now, it looked like you wanted more. and kenma was not having it.

from that moment, kenma started to distance himself from you. he stopped texting you all the time. cut down the gifts he sent you, and just forced himself to stop thinking about you. that was easier said than done.

of course you noticed, and you even tried to ask him what was wrong. always getting a dry reply or no reply at all. you were confused. one second you both were having your usual

fun and playful banter, and the next second kenma’s giving you the cold shoulder. could it be that he got bored of you?

did he start to seek out other sugar babies? you really believed that you and him had something special. a bond that would only occur once in a thousand lifetimes. as much as you wanted to figure out what was wrong, you already had your hands busy with something else, not to mention that you knew kenma that well to know when he was in one of his moods to leave him be or else he would snap. so you ignored the thoughts of him seeking other sugar babies and hoped that whatever was making him sad would cease.

kenma glared at the two figures that were outside his car. as hard as he tried, kenma just had to see you again. he missed you that much. he went against what his brain was telling him and followed his heart, which led him to your condo building late one night. the condo building where you were currently outside of with the same mysterious man he saw at the café. he assumed the very worst. you did in fact get another sugar daddy. and by the looks of you inviting him up to your place, kenma guessed that you had a completely different relationship with him than what you two agreed on. maybe you were just with him for his money. you really weren’t different at all.

kenma had enough. he drove himself to the closest bar and got himself completely wasted. who doesn’t want a drink when their heart was just ripped out of their chest and stomped on. kenma drinking was a rare occurrence that happened once or twice every few months. he would need to be be completely out of his mind to bring himself to a bar to just drink like a mad man. and that’s what he was doing then and there.

after an hour or so, kenma was completely gone. he wasn’t one of those drunkards who would stagger around or outside the bar mouthing off whatever was on their minds. no kenma was one of the silent types. but they do say that the silent ones are the most deadly ones. as he was sitting at the bar table, kenma brought out his phone. opening a text chat he hasn’t opened in a while.

[11:09] kenma: fuck you

[11:09] kenma: i hate you so much

[11:09] y/n: kenma? are you okay?

ordering yet another drink, kenma flares at the screen in front of him.

[11:10] kenma: i never wanna see your lying, gold-digging face ever again

[11:10] kenma: you’re the worst thing that ever happened to me

[11:10] y/n: kenma, baby? were you out drinking? what are you even saying?

[11:11] kenma: oh look it’s your favourite time of the day. eleven-fucking-eleven. let’s see what do i wish for this time. i wish that i never fucking met you. i wish that i could go in time and stop myself from agreeing to meet you. because all you are is another lying slut that would do anything for money. i wish that i could erase everything i know about you. i wish that you and me never happened.

[11:11] kenma: it doesn’t matter. i don’t care about you. i have all these other sugar babies that would come crawling to me. you’re just another bitch that’s desperate for money.

[11:12] y/n: if you have all these other bitches then you really don’t need me. goodbye kozume kenma. screw you.

[11:12] y/n: this person has blocked you. you can no longer send any messages.

after all that happened last night, kenma was somehow in the right state of mind to not drunk drive and managed to message his best friend, kuroo tetsuro. coincidentally, kuroo was the same person who introduced you to kenma. kuroo, after seeing his friend’s text, picked kenma up from the bar and dropped him off at his house leaving the poor guy to wake up with a massive hangover. kenma remembered everything that happened. it didn’t help that he still had the text messages on his phone, yet he couldn’t bare to delete them for some odd reason.

the rest of the week followed slowly for kenma, as he tried to adjust his life without you. fate had different plans though. it wasn’t done with you and kenma.

although kenma had newfound bitter memories, the café you and kenma went to had his favourite coffee. as kenma fixed the cuffs of his suit, walking up to the café doors, he bumped into someone.

“sorry about that.” he heard a deep voice apologize.

kenma looked up, his eyes widening as he realized the man that bumped into him was the same man he always saw with you. oh how fate loved to toy with the both of you. before either kenma or the man could say anything, a soft voice could be heard coming out of the café.

“dad, are you sure you’re gonna be okay taking the train back ho- kenma?” before you could finish your sentence you stopped right next to your father and stared at the man that broke your heart just a week ago. even then, you could feel something pulling at your chest as you stared at the pudding headed male.

“don’t worry about me y/n, your old man isn’t that hopeless anymore.” your dad chuckled, ruffling your hair despite your protests. “besides it seems like you know this gentleman, might as well spend the afternoon together. i’ll take off now.”

your father gave a small kiss to your forehead before getting into a taxi that would drive him to the closest train station. the air suddenly turned tense as both you and kenma looked anywhere but each others’ eyes.

breaking the silence kenma asked, “that was your father?”, to which you simply nodded playing with your fingers. it was a habit that you did whenever you were feeling anxious about something. kenma grinned at the thought.

“i-i better go.” you started to walk off, before kenma grabbed your wrist halting your movements.

“wait, we need to talk.”

you turned your head and stared at him. kenma’s eyes widened as he stared into yours. he could see them start to glass, filled with hurt and rage. hurt and rage caused by him.

“don’t you have some other girls to attend to?” you bitterly spat out turning away again. you grit your teeth as you tried to hold in your tears.

“y/n, please-“

“i have nothing to say to you.” you said, pulling your wrist away. you started to walk off until his voice could be heard,

“please y/n, i’ll give you space. just please meet me at our spot at 10:00 tonight.”

you didn’t say anything and walked off, leaving kenma to watch as your figure disappeared down the sidewalk.

10:30

you still weren’t there. kenma sat on the swing that hung from the big oak tree above him. 30 minutes past the initial time he told you, and you still weren’t there. kenma was just about to give up and go home, when he heard your familiar light footsteps. he looked up to see you there, shining in the moonlight.

“you came.” he breathed out, relieved. you gave him a sheepish smile, before taking a seat next to him on the swing.

the two of you swung in silence, just admiring the night sky in silence. this place was memorable for you both. it was where you both first went out, and agreed to a sugar daddy/baby relationship. you both visited this place often as it wasn’t well known around the community, but was close enough to kenma’s place. it held a special place in both your hearts.

“i was drunk and stupid and i didn’t know what i was saying.” kenma said, breaking the silence. “i was just so angry and hurt when i saw you with someone else at our café. i thought you were seeing another man when you told me you weren’t.”

you stayed silent, waiting for kenma to continue.

“i know that doesn’t excuse the fact that i got drunk and texted you all these things that are definitely not true and i can’t believe i even said those things to you”

“you called me, and i quote, ‘a lying slut that would do anything for money.” you said, a bitter-tone lacing those words.

“i know, and i regret everything i said. i-i was just hurt and the next thing i knew i was drinking and texting you, and i just wanna reverse everything that happened.” kenma bent over, putting his head in his hands.

“well it’s not like you’re the only one at fault,” you said, “i was keeping something from you after all.”

kenma glanced up at you, as you stared at the full moon which was your only source of light.

“that man you probably saw, which by now you probably know, was my dad. he was in a rough spot ever since i was young, my mom dying too soon and leaving my dad to raise me as a child.” you started off.

“he’s had trouble with money and it was becoming too much for me. once i turned 18 i left my hometown and moved here. got a job and worked hard to pay for my rent and my schooling.” kenma saw you smile sadly at the ground.

“why didn’t you tell me, you know i could’ve-“ he started to say before you cut him off.

“i didn’t wanna ask for your help. you already do so much for me, asking help for this matter was something i was never gonna bring up.”

you both stayed silent again.

“so what happened after?” kenma asked as he glanced at you.

“well my dad contacted me a few months ago, probably 6 months into what started between us. and i helped him find a stable job. he came down to visit me after so long of not seeing each other.” you explained.

kenma let out a breathy laugh, throwing his head back as he held his arm over his eyes. he couldn’t believe that he was that jealous, that insecure, that crazy about you.

“you drive me insane.” he said.

“well the feelings mutual.” you shot back.

kenma sat upright and stared at you. the silence returned once again, and the both of you just stared at each other. kenma brought a hand up to your cheek, brushing the surface with his thumb. leaning into his hand, you gazed at him.

after weeks of not seeing each other, or even touching each other it looked like you two were at your limits. as kenma leaned down, you leaned up and the both of you met in the middle, lips connecting as both of kenma’s hands cupped your face. you wrapped your arms around his neck, to which kenma broke away from your lips and moved down your jawline, giving you small kisses up until he got to your neck.

“kenma,” you breathed out.

“ah ah, what did you call me?” he brought his mouth back up to the side of your head, softly biting your earlobe.

“d-daddy,” you panted out, your mind going crazy as kenma continued to plant kisses around your neck.

“that’s my girl,” he praised.

you and kenma burst through his front door still attached to one another, as kenma pushed you against the wall right when you entered the apartment. putting a knee in between your legs, kenma unbuttoned the top two buttons of your shirt, showing your collarbone. as kenma planted more love-bites across your chest, his hands roamed your waist.

you tried to hold in the sounds you were making, however that did not sit well with kenma. with one hand, he held your hands above your head, and with the other he grabbed your face to make you look at him.

“what did i say about holding in those cute little sounds for me”

“t-that you would punish me.” you whimpered. smirking, kenma lifted you by the thighs and carried you off to his bedroom.

once kenma shut his bedroom door he threw you into his bed, climbing over you and stealing your pair of lips once again. kenma glanced over at the clock that sat on his dresser and pulled away from you.

“look what time it is my love” he said softly to you. you turned your head to the clock he was staring at and before your eyes read the time, 11:11.

“11:11, make a wish” you smiled softly at kenma. he brought his head down once again, giving you a small peck on the lips.

“i wish that i had the courage to tell you this sooner.” he muttered.

“tell me what?” you asked, a genuine look of confusion danced across your face.

“that i love you. that i’ve been in love with you. that i wish we would drop this sugar daddy and sugar baby relationship and just become a real couple” kenma whispered softly, hoping you didn’t hear him.

however, hearing everything he just said, you brought his face down to your lips once again, before pulling away saying, “well my love what if i told you i could make that wish a reality”

kenma let out a breath of relief, before stealing your lips once again. he started to unbutton the rest of your shirt as he moved down your neck, giving you small love bites, marking you as his. he couldn’t contain his excitement the moment he heard you panting and gasping.

kenma went to bed that night, wrapping his arms around your waist and pull you into his chest as you both fell asleep to each other’s soft breathing.

[justphilia]

Mob Psycho Characters Playing Minecraft (Headcanons)

Shigeo

He starts with creative mode, just to get the gist of it, before finally heading into survival but on peaceful. Then he’ll do survival easy mode and just stay on that tier forever, until he feels more confident to up his game a little higher.

Only played because Telepathy club was playing and he heard the word “Mob” and was like; “Did you call me?” and the club goes “nah fam, it Minecraft.” “what’s Minecraft.” Boom he plays.

Most likely to have a farm with a lot of cows

Has a dirt house/villager’s house on the first night and stops at just that.

Not much of a great builder

Takes forever to get diamonds

Dies often, but not too much. Just often enough for him to lose a few good iron pickaxes.

Always goes to bed once it’s night.

Most likely to have a pet cat

He just plays for fun, when he’s bored and stuff. So he doesn’t go as far as to defeating the ender dragon. He’ll travel to the nether though, just for potion making

But he does play a heck more when Teru’s around, or when the Telepathy club invites him.

He awaits for a frog update

Reigen

Jumps into survival hardcore right off the bat after watching one play through

Most likely to have a villager colony and farm

Makes a wooden house with windows and stuff on the first night with a furnace and a crafting table and a bed. The essentials. But he won’t stay in one house often and will move a lot

He can build, but he’s pretty amateur at it, he’s a fast learner though so he could easily replicate houses he see online

He’s the type of guy that never stops mining until he finds diamonds, which means he makes sure he’s at 13-11y in coordinates, has a shit ton of extra pickaxes, and stacks upon stacks of torches. Once he finds them goodies, he heads on home and repeats the cycle

He’ll defeat the ender dragon if he’s bored enough or when someone challenges/pays him to.

Same goes with The Wither

Will skip Minecraft sleep very often and will only go to bed when the phantom starts attacking

Most likely to have many many pet dogs, each one of them have name tags.

When he dies, he gets mad for a few hours, then jumps right back in. He doesn’t die all that often though, so he won’t rage quit.

He gets the minecraft books later on and you can see him reading it under his table time to time

Ritsu

He starts off with easy or normal without much knowledge on the game, probably only played because Shigeo introduced him to or Shou bugged him about it.

He’ll have a farm, but just for resources. Won't have much animals, mostly crops. He’ll live next to a village if there is one.

His first house will also be a dirt house, he’ll improve it overtime and add more levels and decorations. It can get very pretty in the end and he’ll be content to just stay and keep adding more to his house.

Not the best builder, but good enough for people to compliment it. He feels especially proud when Shigeo likes them, so he’s keen on building better and more.

He plans before he mines, calculates how many torches he needs and plans out what he’s exactly looking for, even calculates how many hunger bars each food item will fill before taking it with him.

If he gets really into the game, he’ll defeat the ender dragon, wither and head on into the nether. Not in that order though.

Will sleep if he doesn’t need to do anything

Most likely to have pets, perhaps a cat, or a dog, or a parrot. Only one though.

When he dies, he accepts it and moves on. Though, that would rarely happen.

Recently got into a forced Minecraft marriage with Shou. Is it forced if he enjoyed it though?

Teru

This bitch really just gonna jump right into survival just to flex on Shigeo.

Duh, of course he’ll have a farm. Will probably talk to the animals.

His first house is either borrowed from a villager or built with wood, but it’ll definitely not be a simple ass wooden house. It will be a nice fucking mansion, just watch him, he will. He’ll fight all the mobs he needs to just to built this mansion right off the bat, doesn’t even care if the first night he sleeps roofless.

Really good at building, because he wants to compete with Ritsu for fun and boast about it to Shigeo. Shigeo would just clap and be like “Wow so cool.”

“Thanks, made it myself, I can make one for you.” Shigeo declines, he’s an independent man, which makes Teru a mixture of disappointment and oh-my-god-you’re-adorable???

He doesn't plan when he mines, he just estimates and half ass some stuff before he struts into the cave. Sometimes he gets lost, but that’s perfectly fine.

Will defeat every mob boss and mob ever to show Shigeo he’s very powerful.

Doesn’t sleep, fights the phantom instead. Will sleep if Shigeo asks him to.

Most likely to have a pet cat, but he doesn’t mind dogs.

When he dies, he’s an angry baby and makes up some excuse as to why he’s dead. “I was distracted, didn’t see the lava. Whoops I guess ha ha no big deal.” But it is a big deal, he lost his diamonds, he wants to give it to his boyfriend but he cannot. Because he died.

Has yet to marry Shigeo in Minecraft.

Shou

Plays because he is a gamer. Survival hardcore ftw. He only plays multiplayer with Ritsu these days, never single player because he has been playing Minecraft his whole childhood and it gets boring on his own.

What’s a fucking farm? I take my food from my Minecraft husband.

Sleeps in a cave, but if Ritsu’s done with the house, he joins his bed with him and sleeps under a roof.

But he’s really really good at building, probably the best next to Serizawa. If you gave him the resources and time, he can recreate Seasoning City.

A concerning miner, jumps in with just torches and a pickaxe and somehow still survives (mostly because Ritsu always goes looking for him)

Could probably easily defeat the bosses because he has already done it so many times

Will only sleep when Ritsu is, which is almost all the time.

He owns every kind of animal.

He dies too many times because he really doesn’t mind, it makes Ritsu mad and that’s what keeps him going.

Shou was suffocated in sand.

“S H O U.” Ritsu yells at the boy next to him.

Was the one that proposed to Ritsu, invited everyone to the wedding; including Serizawa and Reigen.

Serizawa

Played while he was still hiding in his home, so he knows everything about the game when he finally played it with Reigen or the kids.

He loves farming, even the animals, it’s oddly calming to take care of something that won’t die unless he hits em.

He always collects resources first before he actually starts building a home, so he always sleeps in a cave or a villager’s house.

After years of experience, he became really good at building, he use to spend time recreating maps from other games. But he says Shou is better than him, the boy disagrees.

Yeah he mines, but he’s wary of dying when he heads into the cave, so he always brings too many torches. 

Makes sure he is very very prepared before defeating bosses

Always sleeps in time, because Reigen said so. Well, because Reigen advised it, what a hypocrite am I right?

Doesn’t have pets, and even if he does, he always make them stay put at one place.

Doesn’t die all that often, almost not at all.

He pretends to not be good at the game when Reigen’s around, he mostly lets the other do what they wanna do because he loves watching his husband play.

“Serizawa! Look, I made the zombie villager back into a villager!” Reigen pointed, Serizawa smiles and nods. He already knew how to do that, but Reigen’s discovery makes it feel he discovered something new himself.

Tome

Bro this woman is so experienced to a point everyone consults her for tips.

She’s building up to find aliens in minecraft, even though they don’t exist, but she’s convinced they’re an easter egg or something.

No, she doesn’t farm. She takes em from the villagers, but she has a few beehives here and there.

She’s only mining to find diamonds as a peace offering to minecraft aliens.

One time she thought the Wither was an alien.

One time, she thought the phantom was an alien.

One time she thought the ghast was an alien.

Has died multiple times because she is careless, but she is never upset about it. Always jumps right back into the game immediately.

Parrots are her pets, because they f l y and d a n c e.

One time she thought the creepers were aliens.

She has this summoning circle made of redstone and torches in case there really are aliens.

She believes in herobrine and sometimes tries to summon him.

She thinks the aliens made the temples in minecraft.

Other Characters

Minegishi has so many bees and flowers and crops it’s almost covering the whole map.

Takenaka plays because it’s very quiet and calming

Shimazaki cannot play. He is blind.

Shou’s old resistance team use to play with him, now they sometimes play together as a trio when Shou is playing with Ritsu.

Mukai and Tsuchi play because Mukai wanted to, she has a lot of armor stands in her house.

Tsubomi does not play, she played once and didn’t enjoy it all that much, but she’s perfectly happy watching her friends play.

Emi roleplays in minecraft.

Mezato doesn’t play, but she likes watching minecraft videos on youtube, mostly the theories.

Everyone in the awakening lab plays, Kurosaki is fantastic at mining because she always knows which way are the mobs and which way are the diamonds. Asahi is an arsonist.

Minori once got invited by Shigeo to play, then she proceeded to buy minecraft and everything in it to impress him. Shigeo only congratulated her once. Contemplating buying the whole of Mojang, but she’s a good girl now so she won’t.

Hoshida plays to impress Tome. Too bad, son, she’s not into you.

[waywardaardvark79]

No Strings Attached  Part 1: Freckles

Summary: Your roommates old friend moves to town and the two of you quickly strike up a no strings attached relationship. How long will the two of you be able to hold up what was supposed to be a simple, uncomplicated arrangement?

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: language, smut

              You slammed the door of your apartment closed behind you, "Charlie, when I text you and tell you that I need you to get me out of there, maybe don't take so long with your emergency call next time. I actually had to sit there and listen to this guy go into detail, and I mean extreme detail about this weird rash he has." you said as you kicked off your heels, leaving them laying by the door instead of picking them up. 

You pulled the pins from your hair and shook it loose as you walked into the kitchen. You started opening and closing cabinets, searching frantically for the bottle of Jack, that you knew was hidden in there somewhere. "Charlie, where's the booze?!" you yelled out, your head buried in the lower cabinet by the stove. 

"In here." Charlie called out. 

You stood up, kicked the cabinet closed with your foot, and started for the living room, your hands reaching behind you and pulling at the zipper of your dress. "You know, it's been so long since I had sex that I actually think my hymen might be growing back. Charlie, I slammed on my brakes on the way home just so the seatbelt could choke me." you said, only half joking. "It's been so long that I think I might have actually forgotten how to moan.....Oh my God, you have someone here." you said as you came to an abrupt stop, Charlie and the man on your couch doing their best to contain their laughter.

 "Y/N, this is Dean. He's an old friend, and he just moved to town. I kinda told him he could crash on our couch until he gets on his feet." Charlie said. 

Your hands quit fiddling with your zipper, and dropped to your side, as you took in the man in front of you. Holy shit, was he pretty. It should be illegal for someone to look that good. Even though he was sitting down, you couldn't help but notice how  the dark blue jeans he was wearing was hugging his thick thighs.

 You sucked in a quick breath, your eyes roaming higher up his body, his broad chest and shoulders, and those arms. You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth, and gently bit down. Those arms could definitely force you up against a wall, or pin you down while those lips, those sinfully plump lips worked their magic on you. You finally made it to his eyes. They were the most striking shade of green you had ever seen, a little mischief lurking behind them. 

You knew you should be embarrassed for your comments and for standing there and openly ogling a stranger, but you couldn't help it.

 "Y/N." Charlie said again pulling you from your daze.

 You glanced over at her for a moment before focusing your attention back on the perfect specimen in front of you, and clearing  your throat, "Hi. I, uh, a normal person would probably apologize or be embarrassed, but honestly, I'm kind of out of fucks to give. Besides, you know what you look like. I'm sure you're used to being objectified." you said.

 Charlie's face lit up in a smile, and her laughter soon filled the room. "You'll get used to her." she said to Dean, but he was too busy starring at you. 

You watched as his eyes roamed over your body, taking in your hair that now hung down in loose waves, the one strap of your little black dress that was hanging off your shoulder, the way the dress hugged your curves in all the right ways, and your long, toned legs. "Oh, I could get used to her." said Dean before running his tongue along his plump bottom lip. 

You smirked at him, "Careful Freckles, don't say things you don't mean." 

The corner of Dean's mouth quirked up, "I never do, sweetheart."  

Charlie looked back and forth between the two of you, "Still in the room, guys." she said. 

"Never stopped me before." you said with a wink in her direction before snatching the bottle of Jack off the coffee table, and turning to walk out of the room. "Nice meeting you, Freckles." you called over your shoulder. 

Dean watched you walk off, admiring the sway of your hips and the exposed skin from your unzipped dress. "Where you off to so fast? I thought we could get to know one another. Any friend of Charlie's is a friend of mine." he called after you.

 Dean glared at Charlie, silently pleading with her to get you to stay. Charlie raised an eyebrow at him, and shook her head in annoyance. "You could at least share the bottle." Charlie said. 

You spun on your heel to face them, "I need it more than you do. Don't you have somewhere to be anyway?" you asked.

 "I had a date, but Dean showed up and I thought I would cancel." she said.

 "Don't let me stop you. I'm sure Y/N and I could find plenty of ways to entertain ourselves." said Dean, keeping his eyes on you.

 "I have no doubts about that." Charlie replied. 

You raised the bottle to your lips and took a sip, relishing the burn of the whiskey as it slid down your throat, "Go ahead Charlie. We'll be fine." you said before turning and heading to your room. 

Charlie looked back to Dean, his focus still lingering on the spot that you were standing in. "Dude, she is the best roommate I have had. Normally I would be all for being your wing woman, but I'm gonna need  you to keep it in your pants this time." Charlie warned.

 "Just a little harmless flirting." Dean said.

 "Nothing is harmless with you." she said.

 Dean laughed under his breath, "I won't do anything." he said.

 Charlie stood up from the couch, "Now, I got to go have the keep it in your pants talk with someone else. Just make yourself at home, and don't wait up." she said as she headed for your room.

 "Oh, so you're the only one that gets to have any fun?" Dean asked.

 "Never said you couldn't have fun Dean. You just can't have fun with Y/N." she said. Dean rolled his eyes at his retreating friend, her warning making you even harder to resist. 

           Charlie knocked on your bedroom door. "Come in!" you yelled. 

She pushed open the door and stepped inside. "It go that bad?" she asked as she watched you take another pull from the bottle.

 "Charlie, he had a mystery rash he wouldn't shut up about, and he still lives at home with his mom, who has 13 cats. He told me about each one of them. I'm talking names, personalities, what they look like. So, not only did I have to sit through all of that, but I come home and you have a Greek God on our couch, and you are coming in here to tell me that he is off limits." you ranted.

 Charlie crossed the room and plopped down next to you on the bed, "13 cats, huh?" she asked.

 "13 cats and a mystery rash." you said. "I mean, I've been on some bad dates, but that one.....that one is enough to make me want to switch sides." you said. 

Charlie laughed, "You know you are always welcome on our team. We would be honored to have you." she said as she took the bottle from your hand and took a quick sip. 

You ran your hands over your face, "That is the most tempting offer I have had in months." you said, causing the two of you to break out into a fit of laughter. "You better go get ready for your date. At least one of us is getting some action." you said.

 Charlie pushed herself up into a seated position, and looked down at you, "Don't wait up. I'll tell you all the steamy details tomorrow." she teased. 

You grabbed the pillow from under your head and whacked her with it, "You can't take that back. I have to live vicariously through you since you aren't letting me get my hands on sex on legs in there." you said. 

 Charlie threw her head back in laughter, "You are so ridiculous." 

You tucked the pillow back under your head, and held your hand out for the bottle, "You love me." you said.

 Charlie shook her head at you, and handed you the bottle, "Be good." she said as she walked to your door. 

"As long as you promise not to be." you sang out. 

"I'll see you in the morning." Charlie called over her shoulder before closing your door.

           You laid in bed, staring at your ceiling as you tried to decide whether to leave your room or not. I mean, you did have a guest in your home, and it was rude to leave them unattended right. Charlie couldn't possibly be mad at you for being a gracious hostess could she? 

You sat up in bed, "You can control yourself." you said as you swung your legs over the side. "Just go out there and make small talk." you told yourself. 

The fact that you grabbed the shortest pair of pajama shorts, and tightest tank top you owned to put on had nothing to do with the man that you knew was sitting in your living room at the moment. Neither did the fact, that you made sure your hair and make up still looked good before you opened your door and stepped out into the hallway.

 You stopped a couple of steps from your door, quickly turned on your heel and headed back inside your room, snatching the bottle of Jack from the nightstand. "A good hostess would provide something to drink." you said to yourself as you took one final glance in your full length mirror before leaving.  

            You walked into the living room, adding a little extra sway to your hips. Dean was lying on the couch, remote in hand, channel surfing. You noticed that he had stripped out of his jeans, and was now clad in a pair of grey sweats and a tight black t-shirt. "Jesus." you muttered under your breath, thinking that he wouldn't hear you.

 However, his head quickly turned in your direction, his eyes roaming over you, your outfit of choice leaving very little to the imagination. "Just coming to make sure you didn't need anything." you said. 

Dean sat up, and patted the couch cushion next to him, "I could use a drink, and some company." he said with a charming mega watt smile. 

You silently cursed yourself for deciding to come out of your room. He wasn't going to make this easy, but you had self control, or at least that was what you kept repeating to yourself. You sat down next to him, leaving only inches between the two of you as you pulled your legs up under you and passed him the bottle, his fingers grazing yours and lingering longer than they should have. "So, what made you decide to move here?" you asked. 

Dean took a swig from the bottle, "I needed a fresh start. Charlie said she liked it here, and I thought why not. I have to say I'm not disappointed so far." he said, glancing over at you.

 "You always so flirty, Freckles?" you asked.

 Dean shifted his body to the side, throwing one arm over the back of the couch, "I could ask  you the same thing." he said. 

You scoffed, "I am not flirting. I am simply being a gracious hostess." you said. 

Dean slowly nodded his head, "Mmm Hmm....and is that the typical clothing choice of a gracious hostess?" he asked. 

You looked down at yourself, "Would you like me to go change?" you asked. 

"Oh, I can think of a few things I would like you to do." he said with a smirk.

  You placed your hand in the center of his chest and gave it a gentle tap, "Down boy. You're off limits." you said. 

Dean cocked his head to the side, "Says who?" he asked.

 "I got the whole keep it in your pants speech from Charlie. You are off limits she said." you explained.

 "I got the same speech. She said you were the best roommate she ever had, and that I had to keep it in MY pants." he said stressing the word my.

 You crossed your arms over your chest and raised an eyebrow at him, "Hmm....maybe she thought that you would be so bad it would send me running for the hills. She's probably just trying to protect your ego. You know save you from the awkward morning after." you said in a completely serious tone, knowing that your remark would rile Dean up. 

It was Dean's turn to scoff, your remark having the effect you knew it would, "Awkward for you, maybe." he said.

 "So, you agree with me, then. Well, guess it's a good thing we got that out of the way." you said as you gently patted his thigh. 

Before you could pull your hand away Dean grasped your wrist, "Awkward because you would be begging me to stay. See, I'm pretty sure Charlie is just trying to save you from some awkward groveling." he said, moving closer to you as he spoke.

 You inched closer to him, your faces so close you could his breath, "You talk a big game, Freckles, but I'm sorry to disappoint, I don't beg." you said before slowly pulling back. 

Dean still had a firm grip on your wrist, "Never too late to start." he said with a smirk. 

You gave his thigh a squeeze, "So, start." you purred.

 Dean let go of your wrist, and grazed his fingertips up and down your arm a few times, "I would, but then you would get attached." he said.

  "Lucky for you I don't do the whole commitment thing." you said.

 "Charlie wouldn't approve." he said as he ran his fingers higher up your arm and hooked them under the strap of your tank top.

 "Charlie knew what would happen the second she left." you said.

 Dean jerked the strap of your tank top, pulling you closer to him, "Yeah, and what's that?" he asked. 

You unfolded your legs from under you, tossed one over Dean's lap so that you were straddling him, and eased yourself down into his lap. His free hand went to your hip, the other still keeping a firm grip on the strap of your tank top. "Why don't you show me." you said.

 Dean yanked you forward and crashed his lips to yours. You wasted no time opening your mouth for him, his tongue delving inside, the subtle hint of whiskey still lingering. You started to roll your hips, his cock coming to life beneath you, as you moaned into his mouth. Dean pulled back breaking the kiss, "Bedroom?" he panted out. 

"Bedroom." you said in agreement.

 Dean placed his hands under the backs of your thighs and stood up, taking you with him. You wrapped your legs firmly around his waist, "First door on the left." you said before crashing your lips to his.

 Dean pushed through your door, kicked it closed behind him, and slammed you up against it. You sucked his bottom lip into your mouth, pulling back a little and giving it a  teasing bite before releasing it. "Mmm....I knew you would be able to do that." you said.

 Dean looked at you with lust blown pupils, "What?" he asked.

 "Pin me up against the wall." you said.

 Dean tapped your thigh for you to release your hold on him. Once your feet were on the floor he dropped to his knees, "Let me show you what else I can do." he said as he hooked his fingers in the top of your shorts, and slowly started to pull them down your legs. "No panties? Someone's been a bad girl." he said, looking up at you.

 You ran your fingers through his hair, "You gonna spank me?" you asked. Dean pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and bit down, a low groan emanating from his chest.

 He grabbed one of your legs, tossed it over his shoulder, and started to trail wet, sloppy kisses along your inner thigh. Your breath hitched in your throat, he was so close to where you needed him, but he was taking his sweet time. "Stop teasing." you whined. 

You felt Dean smile against your skin, "Tsk...tsk...tsk patience, sweetheart." he said as he spread you open to him.

 You were about to make a smartass comment when you felt his tongue lick a strip between your entrance and your clit. "Fuck sweetheart, you're so wet." he said before delving his tongue eagerly inside you.

You sucked in a quick breath, your fingers tangling in his hair, giving it a gentle tug when he turned his attention to your clit. He flicked his tongue back and forth over your clit a few times before sucking it into his mouth, one finger sliding easily  through your slick and slipping inside you.

 You leaned your head back against the door, a loud moan escaping your lips, your fingers tightening in Dean's hair pulling harder than you probably should have, the action caused Dean to release a loud moan of his own. You looked down at him, giving his hair another yank, loving the vibration of his moan on your over sensitive clit.

 Dean could tell that you were close as he slipped another finger inside of you, crooking them just right to hit that sweet spot. He sucked your clit into his mouth once more, his fingers keeping a feverish pace, "Oh fuuuuuuck." you moaned.

 Dean pulled back, his fingers keeping their pace, pounding away at that sweet spot inside of you, "Come on sweetheart, I wanna  feel you cum on my fingers." he said sucking your clit back into his mouth. You were so close. Your leg was shaking with the effort of holding yourself up. Dean flicked his tongue across your clit a few times and you felt the coil snap, your pussy clenching around his fingers as he slowed his pace and worked you through your orgasm. 

You looked down at him panting, legs shaking and watched as he pulled his fingers from you and sucked them into his mouth. "You taste so good, sweetheart." he said after slowly pulling his fingers from his mouth, making sure he got every drop of you.

 He rose to his feet, grasping the bottom of your tank top and pulling it over your head before tossing it behind him. You ran your hands down his chest, "My turn." you said as you started to drop to your knees.

 Dean grabbed your arms and pulled you back up, "Next time." he said before pulling  you over to the bed.

 "Next time, huh? Who says there is going to be a next time?" you asked.

 Dean pulled his shirt over his head, and shoved his sweats down his legs before stepping out of them. "Trust me. There's gonna be a next time." he said as he spun you around and pushed you down on the bed. 

You crawled to the middle, pressed your upper body to the mattress and raised your ass in the air, giving it a little wiggle as you did so. Dean's hand landing a firm smack against your ass surprised you and you gasped at the impact. He landed a second smack, the sting quickly fading into a pleasurable pain. "I think someone likes that." he said as he landed another on the neglected cheek.

 Your only response was loud moan, your brain not able to form words at the moment. You felt him work his way between your spread legs, rubbing the head of his thick cock through your folds, coating himself in your slick. You propped yourself up on your elbows and looked over your shoulder, "Don't be gentle." you said.

 "Wasn't planning on it." he said as he thrust himself inside you in one quick motion, his pelvis harshly meeting your ass. He slowly pulled out and thrust back in, throwing his head back in pleasure. "So. Fucking. Tight." he said, punctuating each word with a hard thrust, his hands gripping your hips so hard, that you knew you would have bruises. 

You mewled, meeting him thrust for thrust, the two of you setting a quick hard pace, that would send you over the edge again in no time. Dean kept his pace, his hips never faltering as he pounded into you from behind. "Play with your clit, baby. Wanna feel this tight little pussy squeeze my cock." he panted out. 

You worked your hand under body and began to rub fast, hard circles against your clit, "I'm so close. Don't fucking stop." you cried out. Dean quickened his pace, thrusting into you with wild abandon until he felt your pussy clench around his cock. His hips began to falter, and you felt him pull out, your body already aching for him again. 

You heard him grunt, and soon felt ropes of hot cum coat your ass. You felt Dean moving around on the bed before he collapsed beside you. You turned your head to look at him, still in the same position, your body struggling to move in the afterglow. "Jesus Fucking Christ, Freckles." you panted out.

  "Tell me about it." he said.

 "That was." you croaked out.

 "Awesome." he finished.

  You managed to nod your head in agreement. Dean grabbed his shirt off the floor, and cleaned you up the best he could. "What a gentleman." you said as he tossed the shirt to the floor.

 "Chivalry ain't dead." he said as he flopped back down beside you. You pushed yourself up and stood from the bed. 

"That was anything, but chivalrous." you said as you grabbed some clothes from the top drawer of your dresser. You turned to look at him. He was laying there, a shit eating grin plastered on his face. "I'm gonna take a shower. Thanks for the ride, Freckles." you said as you walked out of your room. 

              You climbed out of the shower, saving Dean enough hot water in case he wanted to shower afterwards, and quickly got dressed. You were toweling off your damp hair as you walked into your room. Dean was nowhere in sight, every trace that he was even there had been removed, the blankets on your bed were even straightened, and put back in order. "Chivalry ain't dead." you said as you flicked off the light and climbed into bed, falling asleep quicker than you have in a long time.  

                The smell of coffee woke you and you rolled out of bed and stumbled down the hall towards the kitchen. "It lives!!" Charlie exclaimed as you staggered in. 

You glared at her as you made your way to the coffee pot. "Late night?" she asked, a hint of amusement in her voice.

 "No, I'm never up this early." you grumbled out.

 "It's past noon." she said. 

You turned over your shoulder to look at her, "Again, I'm never up this early. Proof that I had an early night." you said. You shuffled over to the table and sat down, noticing the neatly folded blanket that was sitting on the end of your couch. "Dean gone?" you asked before taking a sip of coffee. 

"Told him he should go down and talk to Benny about a job." Charlie said. "You two get along ok?" she asked.

 You shrugged your shoulders, "I guess." you said, keeping your gaze on the mug in front of you. "Get to know each other?" she asked. 

You looked up at her, "We made small talk, nothing much." you said.

 She raised her eyebrow at you, "Sure you didn't get to know each other in the biblical sense?" she asked, trying not to smile. 

"Pfft....no. I was a gracious hostess. I offered him a drink after you left, and then went to bed." you said.

 Charlie slowly nodded, "Hmm....because he asked me to give you this." she said as she slid a folded piece of paper over to you. "It may have fallen open, and I may have accidently read it." she said as you picked it up. 

You looked down, the words When you're ready for next time and Dean's phone number scrawled across the page. You folded the paper and placed it back on the table, "Guess he really enjoyed our conversation." you said before standing up and returning to your room, not giving Charlie the chance to comment.  

You tucked the note away in the top drawer of your dresser, keeping it safe until you were ready for next time. You flopped back down into bed, and pulled the covers up over you, glancing over at your dresser and wondering to yourself how much longer you could hold out. 

[jeagerism]

I. the one where they meet

Word Count : 3.1k

A/N : welcome to the v first part of waiting game!!! i hope you like it!! please feel free to give feedback, as it helps me work faster and i then know what you guys want in future chapters! ty to @soulspideys bc ya got me out of a hole with this!!! anyways enjoy bbys!

---

He’s going to be late.

Peter’s been repeating this to himself since he’d woken up this morning, alarm blaring with giant red numbers reading 8:13 A.M. He had made sure to set extra alarms, each one with a different tone, and had managed to sleep through them all.

So, he’d jumped up, shoving himself into the outfit he’d had laid out the night before, hauled his backpack onto his shoulders, and grabbed his keys before leaving his dorm room and making a mad dash for his class. He’d woken up so late he didn't even get to fix himself the tea he had planned on making.

He is so going to be late. And on the first day of class, too. Fuck. Right about now, he's questioning what compelled him to sign up for an 8 a.m. class. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but as Peter just about manages to arrive outside the building his class is held in, he's cursing himself out.

He risks a glance at his watch and winces. 8:23. There's a part of him that cringes at the thought of walking into the lecture hall, knowing all eyes would immediately be on him. Peter had been so hopeful for the first day of college. But now he’d be labelled as the kid that was late to his first class. Fuck fuck fuck.

He doesn't want to go in.

He does anyways, of course. Sucking it up and moving along, he wraps his hand around the door handle and pulls.

Creeeaaaaak.

He wants the ground to swallow him whole. The groaning of the door stops once Peter slips inside the classroom, only to start again as it closes behind him. But when he looks up, he's surprised to see that no one’s even spared him a glance. The professor is still speaking, pencils are still moving.

A breath. Thank God. He makes his way past students, scouring the rows of people for an empty seat. There's someone occupying each and every seat he comes across. He’s just about ready to give up hope when he spots an empty seat a few rows up, right next to someone in a giant grey hoodie.

Peter approaches the person, nudging their forearm gently. “Um, is anyone, uh…” He trails off, awkwardly rubbing his neck. Please please please let me sit here. They glance up at the touch of his hand.

“Yeah, sure.” They move their things over to give him room. He settles into his seat, pulling out the colorful notebook labeled Psychology, and gets to work writing notes immediately.

The class passes much quicker after that, but Peter can feel himself dozing off periodically when the professor pauses his lecture. He really wishes he’d woken up earlier. He’s grateful the class ends when it does, hundreds of students pouring out of the room almost instantly.

A sigh leaves him as he puts his things back into his bag.

“Hey, um-” Another book lands beside him. When he looks up, you give him an encouraging smile. “You, um, you missed a few topics...before you came in.” You shrug a shoulder, holding your backpack strap on the other. “So, uh, you can copy mine? Like, I can give you my notebook and you can give it back next class, o-or you can take a few pictures, or I can take a few and send them to you!”

Peter doesn't say anything, instead choosing to stare at you with wide, curious eyes. He didn't think anyone had noticed him come in, despite the noise he caused. But you had, and you're offering to help him. No one else had done that. You're an angel.

The smile on your face drops as suddenly as it had come, and you begin reaching for the notebook. “And you probably think I'm weird and was watching you and am just trying to get your number! Okay, um, sorry for tha-”

Peter shakes his head, also reaching out to grab the notebook. Your hands brush against each other’s, and you both jump back as if you'd been burned. “Uh, yeah, I can give you my number? And you can just text me the notes I missed, i-if you want! You, like, totally don't have to-”

“No, I will!” Your eyes fall from him to the floor. “Um, it's no, no problem.” Slipping your phone from your back pocket, you hand it out to him. “Just, like, put your number in…”

His hands are shaking so bad Peter is worried he’ll drop your phone. He's not used to this, meeting new people had never been his forte. Sure, he could be as brave as he wanted when he was Spider-Man, but now? This was all new. Peter Parker was Spider-Man, but at the same time, Peter Parker was not Spider-Man.

He types in his number slowly, double, then triple checking to make sure he’d put in the right digits. “Here you go”, he mumbles, handing it back to you with pink cheeks.

“Peter.” You whisper his name to yourself with a smile. “I'm Y/N.”

“Nice to meet you, Y/N.” Y/N.

“Great! I'll, you know”, you hold the device up, wiggling it, “text you.” You smile, turning around and head for the door of the classroom.

Peter watches you leave, rooted in his spot, smiling like an idiot. Because he may have just made his first friend in college.

---

Throughout the next week and a half, you talk a lot more than either of you had expected.

You text him the notes he’d missed, just like you'd said you would, and the conversation continues. It's mostly about things either of you didn't quite understand during class, but when Peter slips in a joke about how nasally your professor sounds, you both relax.

The next time you two see each other is in the library. Peter’s busy looking for a book for his art class, fingertips brushing over the spines as he walk. He becomes so focused he doesn't notice the person on the other side of the bookcase until he hears his name being called.

“Peter!”

He looks up, startled, but his shocked expression morphs into a smile when he notices it's you. “Hey, Y/N.” His finger snags on the corner of a book as he tries to come up with something else to say, and it, along with a few other books, comes crashing to the ground by his feet. Well, at least he has an excuse for not speaking.

“Shit.” He bends down, stacking the books one on top of the other, cheeks burning. How was it that he’d managed to make a fool out of himself again, and it was only his second time seeing you in person? He can feel the eyes of everyone in the library on him.

You're knelt beside him before he can blink, adding the last stray book to his stack.

“Sorry, I'm just, really clumsy all the time and”, a pause, “I'm embarrassing myself aren't I?” He’s almost certain his cheeks have never been this red in his life.

You bump shoulders with him, standing as he does. “Nah. At least, not to me.” You survey the people around you, most giving the two of you dirty looks. “Not so sure about them though.”

Peter sets the books on the shelf gently, stuffing both hands in his pockets and rocking back and forth on his feet. “So…what're you in here for?” You look confused for a second. “Not that you're, like, not allowed in the library or anything! You can totally be in here, just wondering-”

There's a loud shushing sound from the corner of the library, leaving Peter silent, and you giggling quietly.

“I'm picking up a few anatomy books. You?”

“I'm, uh, an art major, so. Looking for something for a project”, he says.

You beam up at him. “That's so cool, Peter.” He shrugs. “Seriously. You should show me some of your work sometime.” Internally, he's freaking out. Because you do not need to see the crappily one sketches he has, especially the one he’d started of you.

But he finds himself nodding anyways. “Yeah, sure. That would be fun.” No it wouldn't. It absolutely would not, why did I say that? He supposes there's just something about you that leaves him wanting more. “So, um, do you need any help looking for your books?”

Another smile. “Please.” You lead him to the section of books you'd been picking through, naming off a few titles you needed. It's easy to start talking from there, about how he's liking classes and how you're undecided for a major at the moment. “I don't really know what I want to do yet. I want to branch out, I guess? I just want to make sure that when I do pick my major”, you sigh, “I want to make sure I know that's what I want.”

He likes that answer. It's nice to know someone who's as undecided about their future as he is. After everything that happened last year, he's grateful for that.

After you collect all of your books and his, and Peter offers to carry every single one, you leave the library still chatting up a storm. Something about the way you smile shakes him to his core. And he knows he's not supposed to think this, because he's just met you, but your one of the prettiest people he's seen.

He doesn't tell you this of course. Even if he wanted to, he doesn't get a chance.

“Hey, Peter!” Ned. He tilts his head at his friend, who jogs up to them with a goofy smile upon seeing you by his side. “See you've met Y/N!” Ned holds his fist out for you.

You laugh, and bump your fist against his. “Hi, Ned.”

Peter’s eyes flit from you to Ned. “You know each other?” Does he sound jealous? No, no, there's not a chance he does...right? The smirk Ned gives him makes him scowl the tiniest bit.

“Yeah, we have a few classes together. We ate lunch together the other day, which was really nice because I don't really know anyone other than you and him. I'm...not very good at making friends.” Which Peter almost doesn't want to believe, because how could anyone not want to be your friend?

Ned takes Peter’s silence as a queue to begin speaking again. “Well...if you don't have anything to do right now, Peter and I were meeting a few friends for lunch...if you want to some along.”

I'm gonna kill him.

Peter opens his mouth to intervene, but you're already shaking your head excitedly. I'm screwed. He was going to spend an hour with you, in a sandwich shop, with his best friend right next to him, probably embarrassing him even more than he’d already managed to do.

You glance up at Peter. “That'd be great, actually. That saves me from eating lunch in my dorm, or even worse”, you grimace, “the cafeteria.” Not that the cafeteria was a bad place. It was very clean and had surprisingly great food. But he knew what you meant. He’d been the kid with no friends to sit at lunch with before Ned came along.

So, Peter grins, nodding his head. He's still got your books in his hands, which are getting sweatier and sweatier as he think about lunch. It's with the really pretty person from his Psychology class, but holy shit, it's with the really pretty person from his Psychology class.

“That sounds amazing!”

---

You look beautiful when you laugh.

Peter decides this about fifteen minutes into lunch. You haven't talked much since you've gotten here, most of your attention on Bryce, Ned’s boyfriend, but every few minutes you catch eyes, and it's enough for him.

When you'd first arrived, you'd looked around in awe at the sandwich shop. Apparently you'd never been. Rhodey had taken him and Ned a few weeks before they were scheduled to move into their dorms. They had fun, they talked a lot. About Tony. He misses him. About last year's events. He misses her.

You were nervous about ordering, so you had Peter do it for you. You told him you trusted him to make the right choice, so he got what he did his first time, what he’d gotten every other time since visiting. He felt like a kid in a candy store when you told him you liked it.

“So, Peter.” Ned pats him on the back. “How you doing this week? I know we share a dorm, but you haven't really been there a lot.” His best friend gives him a pointed look. “You promised me, Rhodey, and Pepper you'd try to be home more.”

Peter wets his lips, anxiously looking up to make sure you weren't paying attention to them. “I know, I just…”, he sighs, “I just like to be there, just in case. I know this isn't Queens, just…if I'm not there, what'll happen?”

Ned huffs. “The police will get them?” His eyes soften the tiniest bit. “I know how you are about this, since last year, but it's better here. We made sure of that. So, just try to come home more?” He smirks. “Unless you're spending all your time with Y/N-”

“I'm not!” Peter elbows him, glaring. “I'm not, I just have psychology with her. That's all.” But that's not all. You glance up again, and smile at Peter when you lock eyes. That's so not all. “I'll try to be home more, just quit with the jokes.”

“Who said they were jokes?”

Peter groans, pressing his hands to his cheeks. “Shut up, Ned.” He checks his watch, releasing a puff of air. “I've got to get back, I need to start sketching out ideas.” Grabbing his wallet, he pockets it. “I'm gonna head out.”

You jump to your feet at his words. “Oh, I'll come! I've got some things to do back at my dorm anyways.” You shuffle past Bryce. “Nice to meet you! Bye, Ned, see you on Wednesday!” Your arm brushes against Peter’s as you stop beside him. “Let's go?”

The breeze feels nice on his face, calming him. People bustle around the two of you, talking on phones or holding binders and textbooks. It’s loud, but Peter doesn't mind. He doesn't do too well with quiet now, anyways.

“I'm glad I went to lunch with you.” He takes careful notice in the way you say you. Not you guys, but you. Just him. It fills him with a strange kind of warmth.

He mumbles a soft reply, “Yeah, me too.” The two of you cross the street, and some protective part of him reaches out to grab your hand as you do. Maybe it's reflex from days spent out with May, or maybe it's just because it's you. He doesn't question it too much.

You look surprised, Peter tugging his hand back a little at that. “S-Sorry, I-” But you don't let go. Not even when you've reached the other side of the street. He hides his smile by looking away.

“It’s okay.” He's so, so screwed.

He walks you the rest of the way home filled with glee. You reach the outside common area too soon. “Do you want me to walk you back to your dorm, or…?”

You shake your head, letting his hand fall from yours. He misses the warmth, although he's not sure why. Friends. “No, it's alright. Thank you, though, for lunch. You and I should do it again soon.”

You and I.

“Yeah. Yeah we really should.”

---

Search History :

i think i have a crush

do i have a crush

queens, new york july accident

how do i know if i like someone

good conversation starters

art throughout the ages

---

It’s the next week when Peter is sure he's doomed.

He's tried his best to keep any and all feelings away. The beginnings of a teeny crush had been pushed to the back of his mind. Getting too close so soon isn't good. He doesn't want a repeat of last year.

But it seems the universe hates him.

He shows up to psychology early, notebook and black and blue pens in one hand, a travel mug of tea in the other. Peter’s there early enough that he can pick his seat, wherever he wants. He chooses a seat right in the middle row, close to the exitway. The rest of the class starts pouring in, and pretty soon the room is filled.

You drop into the seat next to him as the professor starts talking. When you smile, Peter tries his hardest not to show how happy he is you sat next to him.

“Today, you're getting assigned your first collaboration assignment.” They explain the work in detail before grabbing the binder in front of them. “Pick your partners and get to work, I've emailed you the other information.”

The room gets loud as the words leave the professors lips. People around the lecture hall move around, getting into pairs. Peter glances worriedly at his peers. He doesn't really know any of them, except for, well, except for you.

“Do you want to be my partner, Peter?” Why do you have to sound so hopeful? Spending more time with you sounded great, like a dream, but Peter was positive that you managed to pull him in too easily. Spending time alone with you would surely lead to disaster.

“Yeah!” He flips his notebook open as you open up the email you’d been sent. You begin rambling about the topics you can choose from, a gleam in your eye.

“Oh, and we can work on it out of class, too, obviously. We can go back to the shop and work, or-or we could go to the library and study while working and kill two birds with one stone.” You grin. “You're really cool, so I'm glad you're who I get to work with on this.”

He's so, utterly, terribly, horribly screwed dammit.

“I'm glad it's me, too.”

---

Search History :

how to stop liking someone

how fast can you get over a crush

queens new york bank robbery

attribution theory

---

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[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Z 288

So between Episodes 287 and 289, you’ve got this ten year gap, spanning the wish to erase the world’s memories of Buu, to the first appearance of Uub, which marks the epilogue to Dragon Ball Z.     Over the years, there’s been a lot of material created to fill in that “ten year gap.”  The last ten minutes of Episode 287, this episode, Movies 13, 14, and 15, all 131 episodes of Dragon Ball Super and the Dragon Ball Super: Broly movie.  Uh, what else?   That Yo! Son Goku and his Friends Return special.   There was some crossover special with One-Piece and another anime I forget the name of.  Also, both of the Xenoverse games, while set in the future, feature Goku pulled from this general time period.

I can’t blame people for trying to fill in this period with new stories.  The question is whether there’s really a story worth telling at this point.  I like Movies 13 and 14. Movie 15 was okay, but hardly worth the trouble, and Dragon Ball Super didn’t get good until the Tournament of Power, which I wouldn’t call essential viewing.    The action was good, but the story doesn’t hold a candle to classic Dragon Ball and DBZ.

In a lot of ways, Episode 288 is sort of a prototype for a lot of what Dragon Ball Super ended up doing: these slice of life, quiet moments in between the big adventures.  This is mainly because Super had a really hard time cooking up an antagonist worthy of the franchise.   Beerus and Golden Frieza were borrowed from movies, Champa, Hit, and Jiren weren’t really bad guys, and Zamasu was absolutely fucking awful.  When I watched Super, it was honestly a relief to see that the next episode would be the gang screwing around at a basebal field or a movie set or whatever.   At the same time, it was always frustrating to me.   They went out of their way to bring these characters back, and they never seemed to have a plan for what they wanted to do with them.  I’ll watch the Tenchi Muyo! gang hang out in a mall or something, that sounds like a good time.   But Goku?   I expect a little more from him.

In this episode, everyone’s having a party at Bulma’s place, but Goku went off to watch some pterodactyl eggs hatch.   So it’s pretty similar to a number of one-shot DBS episodes, except DBZ hasn’t done this sort of thing very often, so it’s a lot more effective.  

Here’s the problem: One of the four eggs fell out of the nest and is stuck in this precarious-looking branch.    Goku wants to move it back, but the parents won’t let him, and I guess he’s not eager to force the issue with his powers.   He’s worried that the baby will fall once it hatches, so he sticks around to keep an eye on the situation.

Anyway, Chi-Chi got all dolled up for this pary, so she’s decided to just go without Goku’s broke-ass and leave him to his nature hike or whatever.    There needs to be more fan-art of Chi-Chi in this getup.  

If I’m not mistaken, Goten’s outfit in this episode is a callback to the clothes Goku wore in that one episode of the Fortuneteller Baba Saga.   Let me just pull that up...

Eh... close, but not quite.   Goten’s got the tie and the hat, but he’s wearing suspenders instead of a vest. 

Anyway, everyone arrives at Capsule Corp.   Yamcha’s got a new car Bulma had made for him at a discount, and Krillin’s thinking of asking for one of his own.    The Son family shows up and Chi-Chi gets miffed when anyone asks about Goku.   Chi-Chi says he’s waiting for his eggs to hatch.

Anyway, they’ve got a nice spread here.    This looks like the place where all of Dr. Brief’s animals run around, but that seems like a bad place to hold a party, so maybe they have more than one indoor park.  

Anyway, Tien and Krillin have some pizza, and Master Roshi laughs at a “photo album” (it’s porn).

Buu wants Vegeta’s hot dog, and he’s in a good mood so he gives it to him.   I always liked that.  It shows that they managed to get along at some point.     This is the sort of thing Dragon Ball Super should have done.   Buu never got a chance to interact with most of these guys in Z, and they killed him off in GT, so they could have gotten some mileage out of him in Super, but they didn’t.

Chiaotzu drinks exactly half of one soda and leaves.  

Piccolo’s just chillin’ out in a flower bed.    Character arc, complete.

Oh, you thought this was the smug Goku macro?   Tell me again how you didn’t know it was from this scene where Goku reminisces about his grandfather.

I guess the place where his space pod crashed wasn’t too far from this pterodactyl nest.   I’m surrprised the crater grew over so fast.    Also, this is like the third or fourth time they’ve shown this location in Z, and it never looks the same twice.

Anyway, Grandpa Gohan was strict but also very kind, and I always like how Goku remembers him here, as the series is drawing to a close.  

Then a DINOSAUR FIGHT happens, because this show rules! Not sure why the two-legged dinosaur has hippo ears, but okay.   It’s like Toei thought the rights holders for actual dinosaurs would sue them or something.   

This scene also features the Ginyu Force song from the early portion of DBZ.   You know the one.

Thirty-two seconds into this video.    They ran this song into the ground in the Namek Saga, and then slowly weaned themselves off of it in the Frieza Saga, until eventually it fell out of rotation.   I think it got used a couple of times in the Androids/Cell arc, and this might be the first time it’s been used since then.   And you know, it’s a great song when it’s used sparingly.   Once I got used to expecting it in every episode, it got really grating, but here, it works perfectly.    I found myself sort of missing it.   

Anyway, Goku totally in favor of cool dinosaur fights, but he doesn’t want them near this nest, so he carries these rowdy boys to another spot and tells them to fight there.  

But that sort of kills the whole mood, you know?

Never mind that, because it’s TIME TO DANCE.

In the Japanese version, the score uses the rock music Tank Clerk was jamming to in Fusion Reborn.   I guess this is the only rock music in all of Dragon Ball, sort of like how Cold Slither’s music is the only rock music in G.I. Joe or Transformers.

We’re tired of words!   We’ve heard it before!

We’re not gonna play the game no more!

We’re Cold Slither, heavy metal  machine!

Through the eyes of a lizard in you will dream!

When the venom stings, a new order brings our control!

Anyway Chi-Chi rules the disco floor until she throws out her back.   

Then Dende mentions Goku and it brings down the mood.   This is why no one invites you to these things, Dende.  Even Tien thinks you’re a buzzkill and he just spent the last half hour explaining the Haber-Bosch process.   

Bulma is worried about Goku, but Chi-Chi playfully suggests that Bulma is sweet on him, but that’s just too bad, because Chi-Chi’s too pretty for her to steal him away.    Is she drunk?   Maybe, but this is still less awkward than the dub version, where she suggested they trade husbands.   “No, I was only kidding about swinging, Bulma.... UNLESS...”

Back at where Goku is, all these other animals show up to watch the nest, because I guess animals do that in this show.  

Then it rains, and Goku shores up the nest with a bunch of logs.  Not sure how this improves the situation, but okay.

He tries to work on the branch the fourth egg is sitting in, but it falls into the river first.

Goku saves it, but then a fish tries to eat him.

But the egg is okay, so victory for Goku.

Kind of an ominous shot of Capsule Corp.   Looks like something out of Revenge of the Sith.

Everyone’s playing cards, and that looks like a lot of fun.    Well, not if I have to play with Roshi and Oolong.    Take me to the non-sex-offender table, please.

Krillin and his family prepare to head out, but they walk out the door just as Goku shows up.

This part here is great.

Chi-Chi gives him a hard time, but she can’t be too mad, because he does this sort of crap all the time.

So she takes Goku back to where the food is, and Goku gives Gohan the wink like “Yep, life of Riley.”

I almost wonder if they tried to do some sort of Last Supper thing with this, except they couldn’t fit everyone into the shot on a 4:3 TV.    Anyway, Goku explains how things turned out with the pterodactyls.

They all hatched.   Don’t really know what else to add to that.  Weird how some of these animals watching were causing trouble earlier.   That snake tried to eat the eggs until Goku tosses it away.

Goten asks if he was cuter than the pterodactyls when he was born, and Goku explains that he was dead when Goten was born, so he doesn’t know.   Awkward.

Then he invites Vegeta to come over and join them, because he’s sulking over by the window.   

i think Vegeta’s just enjoying this vaporwave sunset outside, but okay,

Then the narrator observes that everyone just has more fun when Goku’s around, which, true, but this is the sort of lionizing of Goku that made GT really irritating.  

Then the Looney Tunes thing happens to him and that’s all, folks.  

[my-proof-is-you]

Chasing Your Demons - Ch. 13

Summary: You thought you had left Dean Winchester behind you. After what he did, who could blame you?

But, when Dean is in trouble, his brother and your childhood best friend calls for help. You’re mad, but that doesn’t change that you care about them.

Soon you find yourself helping the younger Winchester and getting closer to him again. Dean has changed, but you want to help bring him back to who he was. If it works, though, what will the future hold for you and the brothers?

*I do not own and gifs or pics

Masterlist

“I shot the sherrrifffff, but I did not shoot the deputy,” Dean sang loudly for the tenth time from the back seat. You rubbed your temples, sick of the man-demon that was currently acting like a child.

“We’re almost back,” Sam said reassuringly. You turned around and looked at Dean who was still singing, his eyes pitch black.

You rolled your eyes and faced forward just as Sam was pulling into the bunker’s garage. Sam got out of the car and took Dean roughly from the back seat, pulling him toward the store room where you would be keeping him. You sighed and grabbed the bags from the trunk, not looking forward to what was to come.

After you put the bags down you walked to the door of the store room, where you were stopped by Sam coming out of it. You looked behind him and saw Dean sitting tied to a chair behind the shelves, still singing to himself.

“Listen, Y/N, I think that you may need to steer clear of Dean while I’m curing him. It’s not that I don’t want your help, it’s just that he’s a dick right now, and he only gets even more dickish when he sees you,” Sam said.

You nodded. You weren’t sure you really wanted to see Dean being cured anyway. “Yeah, that’s fine. I can help from out here. I’ll keep you fed and stuff, Sammy.”

“Thanks. I’m gonna go ahead and get started,” he said. He bent down and kissed you lightly on the lips before turning back to the store room.

Just before the door closed, you heard Dean say, “Well, looks like you got yourself a little slut, huh Sammy?”

You closed your eyes in frustration, ready for this to be over.

A few days had passed, and you had been helping Sam stay fed and hydrated while he continued to work on curing Dean. Every time he came through the door, he had different looks on his face. Sometimes he was hopeful…other times, he told you he feared he was killing his brother. You provided him with support whenever he came out, which seemed to fuel him to keep going.

One of the many days Sam was working to cure Dean, you had just given him lunch and gone to your room to lay down for a while. A few minutes passed, and you heard a clatter from the hallway. You got up and opened the door slightly, peeking your head out to see if everything was okay. Before you had time to even think, you felt something hit your head and everything went dark.

When you came to, you found yourself tied to the chair that was once occupied by your demon ex-boyfriend. You struggled, trying to move your arms but finding it was of no use. You were completely stuck, and the movement had only made your head pound from where Dean hit you.

“Well, look who’s awake,” you heard from behind you.

“So what’s the plan, Dean? You gonna kill me?” You asked, feigning confidence.

“Hmm…maybe. But there’s no reason we can’t have a little fun first, don’t you think?”

“Where’s Sam?” You demanded. Dean paced his way around the chair until he was facing you, eyes black again.

“Oh, that’s right, you and Sammy are together now, huh? Well, good for him. Fucking you was the best part of our relationship.”

You stared past him, not willing to give him the satisfaction of a reaction.

“You two have fucked, haven’t you? I’d be shocked if you hadn’t. You couldn’t keep your legs closed when you were with me,” he said maliciously.

You closed your eyes and turned your head away from him, trying to block out his words.

"And don’t worry about Sam. He’s out cold, so he won’t be bothering us any time soon.”

You still said nothing, but felt a little relief hearing that at least Sam was alive.

“Not talking, huh? Whatever will I do to remedy that?” Dean said. He bent over so his face was right in front of yours. “I know,” he said. As soon as he finished the words, he plunged a blade he had been holding into your thigh.

The pain was white-hot and some of the worst you had ever felt. You tried to hold back your scream but were unsuccessful. Your scream rang out in the store room, echoing around the walls. Dean’s mouth curved up in a smile, his face looking absolutely evil.

“You stupid motherfucker!” You yelled at him. You knew you were just giving him what he wanted, but you couldn’t help it. “How did you even get out?”

Dean chuckled a little at your reaction. “Well, it seems maybe Sammy’s little cure was working…just enough for the sigils to stop working on me.”

You shook your head, mad that you hadn’t thought of that happening. But if Dean was human enough to get out of the sigils, maybe he was human enough to reason with.

“Dean, what you’re doing is stupid. This isn’t you, you know that! You’re going to be human again, and when you are, you’ll regret all of this.”

“That’s the thing, doll face,” he began, leaning over with his hands on the arms of the chair, “I’m not going to be human again. This is just way too much fun.” Dean slashed his blade, this time cutting a long line across your chest.

"Aghhh,” you said, trying to keep from screaming. “Dean, you are in there somewhere. And even though you cheated on me, I know what we had was real. If you cared at all for me, let me go!”

“Oh, sweetheart, the old Dean is long gone. Besides, I already told you: I never loved you.”

Dean’s words cut deep, deeper than the physical wounds he had inflicted. You knew now that reason wasn’t going to work. You just had to hope that Sam would come for you.

Forevers: 

@malfoysqueen14

@divadinag

@lynne1993

@awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce

@infj-slytherclaw

@onethirstyunicorn

@sammykb1994

Deanies: 

@tftumblin

@deans-baby-momma

@akshi8278

@weepingwillowphoenix

@playingdeep17

This Fic:

@icequeen6666

@my-soul-is-the-moon

@teenwaywardasgardian

@lilulo-12

@heyyy-hey-babyyy

[i-have-a-wonky-eye-too]

Ready? Ready! - Part 13

I don't own any gifs/pictures used - credit to owners.

Warnings: swearing

Chris Evans x reader

Chris had been so excited to get the nursery started when he got home. The pair of you had decided since you split your lives between Boston and LA (LA being where you spent most of your time for work) you’d keep the Boston nursery simple: blues and cute and LA could be where you (Chris) went OTT with Disney. Over the last week or so the pair of you had help from Chris’ family, a couple of his buddies and Dodger. Well, Dodger just licked Chris whenever he was bent over causing you to burst out laughing then run off needing to pee so you weren’t much help.

“Thank you.” you thanked the pizza guy before closing the apartment door. “Chris! Food’s here!” you called out heading into the kitchen.

A couple of seconds pass with no answer which was strange. Even if Chris hadn’t heard you, Dodger would have and he'd have been by your feet as soon as you had the pizza box in your hand. You put the boxes on the side before going to fetch Chris. When you got to the slightly open door you took a quick look, listening to Chris.

“Aaand, that’s it!” Chris chuckled as he dropped the screw driver into his tool box before taking a seat in the rocking chair you had in the corner of the room. He looked down to where Dodger had sat himself by his feet and reached out to pet his fur. “All we need now, buddy, is your little brother.” he smiled down at him. “This time next year, you, me and Rupert will be sat here, waiting for your little sister… or little brother… who knows.” he chuckled.

“Trust you to be thinking about another baby before the first one has even arrived.” you smirked as you pushed the door open.

Chris looked up grinning. “Sorry, doll. Can’t help it.” he winked at you.

You rolled your eyes with a shake of your head. “I know… Come on, pizzas getting cold.” you bobbed your head towards the kitchen. Chris shook his head with a grin, holding his hand out to you. “What?”

“Join me.”

You shook your head sighing. “Chris, no, the pizza is getting cold and I’m too big to fit in that chair with you.”

Chris let his head fall back as he let out a deep sigh. “Pweeease!”

You let out a small laugh at his child like behaviour. “Fine.”

You gave Dodger a soft stroke on his head as you passed him before taking Chris’ outstretched hand and slowly began to lower yourself onto his lap. You sighed deeply as he wrapped his arms around you, his legs shifting position so your feet were off the ground, all your weight resting on him.

“Chris, I’m going to squash you!” you whined and went to move but Chris wrapped his arms around you tighter and stopped you.

“Baby, relax, you’re fine.” he whispered into your neck, his lips laying there for a moment. “I’ve missed this.” he whispered. “I’ve missed you.” You hummed a response, your eyes shutting as you let the feeling of his love surround you. “I can’t wait to see you all full again with our next baby, can’t you?”

You shook your head smiling gently at the thought. “No, I can’t. Call me selfish but, I love seeing the way you look at me. You look, so proud and happy.”

“And I am. I’m so happy to be having a baby with you, and I’m so proud of you carrying our child… but fuck, I love you so much, Y/N. I couldn’t be without you.” he let out a dry chuckle. “Tell me you love me, Y/N.” you nodded biting your lip. Chris pressed a gentle kiss to your neck where he knew you loved, pulling a moan from you. “Tell me.”

“I love you, Chris. I love yo-”

His lips crashed against yours as his hands tangled in your hair, holding your mouth close to his. You moaned into his mouth, letting his tongue slip into yours and caress every inch if yours.

You pulled back from him, gasping as you got a sudden pain in your side. Chris’ eyes widened a little, panic obvious as he stared up at you. “Are you o-”

A noise that was a mixture of curdling and a groan came from somewhere inside your stomach, cutting Chris off. The pair of you looked down to your bump shocked before you burst out laughing at the strange noise.

“M’sorry.” you blushed as you ran a hand over your firm bump.

Chris shook his head as he helped you stand up from his lap, still laughing. “It's fine… was that him or you?” he chuckled.

“Both? Sorry, all I can think about is the pizza.” you blushed a little more.

Chris sighed shaking his head. “You got spicy sausage, didn't you?” he asked already knowing the answer. You nodded biting your lip, grinning as he rolled his eyes playfully at you. “I swear you love spicy sausage more than me sometimes.”

You nodded with a giggle. “Why do you think I'm pregnant.” you joked as you ran your hands over your belly. Chris threw his head back laughing at your lame joke. You giggled. quickly walking back to the kitchen as you sang. “I love, spicy sausage.”

“Sweetheart, you okay? You look in pain?” Chris asked as he stepped out of your en suite bathroom in just a towel, fresh from his shower. The pair of you had eaten your pizza whilst watching some crappy TV before calling it a night.

You sat on your side of the bed facing him, rubbing your chest then your stomach. “Fine.” you sighed. “Just heartburn, I think.”

Chris frowned, turning back to grab you some antacids from the medicine cabinet. “Here, baby, take these.” he handed you them. You thanked him as you grabbed your glass of water. “Maybe cut back on the spicy foods, hmm?” he gave you a small smirk. He’d told you before you had to be careful. Ever since he read that damn health book he took the fun out of everything for you.

You nodded agreeing with him. “You're probably right.” you sighed rubbing your stomach again. “Hopefully I’ll get a little bit of sleep tonight. I'm exhausted.”

Chris gave you a sad smile. The last few nights you'd managed a few hours sleep if you were lucky then you were up doing house work or double checking everything you needed was ready for the baby. Chris’ mom had said you were nesting, you were readying yourself the big day.

“Goodnight, sweetheart.” Chris pressed a kiss to your forehead as he held you close to his side.

Like every night he waited until your breathing evened and you were showing signs of sleeping. It wasn't much but he liked to make sure you were settled before falling asleep, if it helped you. He hated seeing you exhausted and run down but he did what he could to make you feel comfortable and loved and you appreciate everything he did for you. You didn’t hate being pregnant at all, it just took it out of you, carrying another little human inside you was hard work, plus being woken up at every hour of the day because of tiny feet thinking it’s time to dance, didn’t help.

“Ah!” you woke up suddenly, your hand flying to your bump where a sharp pain filled it. “AH!” you cried out, startling Dodger awake from where he laid by your legs. “AH!” you cried out again, causing Dodger to bark. “Shh, no, AH!” you cried out again as more pain hit you, causing Dodger to bark as he jumped down from the bed.

Chris shot up quickly. “Babe?”

“CHRIS, AH!” you reached out for him.

“Babe, what’s wrong?” he rolled over so he was facing you. The moment he saw you hold your bump in pain he shot up, panic began to fill his chest. “Y/N? Baby, talk to me.” he sat up, his left hand protectively going to your bump as he held your other hand.

“Baby-” you gasped, your eyes screwing shut as the pain hit again. “The baby- he’s coming. Chris, the baby, is coming!”

“Shit!” he quickly through the covers back from the pair of you before he slipped out of bed. “Baby, I need you to get up.” he walked to your side of the bed, taking a hold of your hand. He pulled you up slowly until you were on your feet. “That’s it.” he praised you as you slowly moved across the room. “That’s it, baby. You’re doing so good.” he whispered as he bent down and helped you put your shoes on. “You think you can make your own way through the apartment whilst I get everything into the car?”

You nodded taking deep breaths. “Y-yeah.”

Chris sighed deeply as he stood up. “Okay. Give me a head start.” he chuckled nervously before pressing a kiss to your cheek.

You rolled your eyes with your own laughing. “Go, I’ll be fine, I’ve got Dodger.” you smiled as the pooch came to your side. You watched Chris runoff through the apartment to collect your bags for the hospital, leaving you stood holding onto the bedroom door frame. You shook your head with a slight chuckle. “And just like that, he’s Captain America.”

Chris was like a mad man driving to the hospital; cutting people up, swearing, speeding, even more so when your water broke in the car (you thought Chris was going to cry - or pass out when he went white) all whilst trying to call Scott so he could come collect Dodger from the hospital. As much as you wanted Dodger to stay with you and Chris, you knew he couldn’t be with you.

“Breath, baby, that’s it.” Chris wiped away the sweat that was on your brow. “You’re doing so good, baby.” he praised you, smiling softly. “Just think, very soon our little boy will be here.”

You laid back nodding. “You said that, four, years ago.” you groaned.

Chris let out a soft chuckle. “Hours, baby.” he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead.

“Whatever- it was along time ago!” you whined.

Chris nodded slowly. “I know baby… but, remember, it could be anything up to 18 hours before he arr-” you turned your head to glare at Chris shutting him up. “Sorry.”

You groaned leaning forwards as another shot of pain hit you. “Fuuuuck!”

Taglist: @mein1928 @marvel-fan23 @shyann6744 @berruneko09 @mandylove1000 @mollywolff @pink9874 @alexnicole0523 @sellulii @wangdeasang @jordanlahey @ nerdgirljen @ajosieface @panicatttckiss @bethsaly @ sydtrash @snigs123 @bellejeunefillsansmerci 

[leechanluvbot]

Make A Splash! | Boo Seungkwan

Maybe nearly drowning in the wave pool at Typhoon Lagoon wasn’t the highlight of your day, but finally talking to the cute lifeguard on duty sure was.

Part 1/13 of the Disney w/ SVT series! | masterlist here 

Genre: fluff, mini bit of angst, non idol!SVT, Seungkwan x reader 

Warnings: swearing, mentions of drowning and mini panic attack 

Recommended song: Candle Light - NCT Dream

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Summer in Florida was especially hot this year

You and your friends were dying for a day off of this sweltering temperature 

So your close friend, Jennie, came up with a plan to beat this heat for one day at your house

“I’m so boredddd” Jiyho groaned, throwing her phone somewhere behind her

Your barely glanced up from your book that you were reading

“Go eat a popsicle or something then” you mumbled

“Boooo I don’t like your tone,” Jiyho yelled back

“I wanna do something fun for once! Like there gotta be something we can do” 

“Idea!” Jennie said sitting up quickly from your bed she was sitting on

“Lets go to the waterpark!” 

“Oh my gOD I haven’t been in years, y/n can we go??” 

You looked between the two rowdy girls, contemplating this idea 

I mean, what was there to loose? You loved the water and going to a waterpark genuinely sounded fun

Except for the fact you were not a strong swimmer 

You figured you would still go to swim, but nothing too crazy 

You threw your book down and stood up

“Fuck it, lets go” 

 An hour later, you and ur girlies drove over to the closest waterpark

Typhoon Lagoon 

“I haven’t been in years!” Jiyho said as you passed through the gates

“I wonder whats changed.”

Leaning back in the front seat, you also wondered the same thing

After spending a shit ton of money JUST TO GET IN i’m big mad about the one day pass like tf

Y’all found seats near the water to sunbathe 🤩🤩

Laying out your stuff, you just happened to look up for a second

And thought you had had developed sun stroke and went to heaven

Cause w h o was that fine ass angel in the lifeguard tower??

And apparently you said this out loud cause your friends immediately whipped their heads to check him out 

“He is cute” Jiyho whispered “Do you think he’s available?”she questioned, to which Jennie smacked her 

“Eyy y/n called dibs relaxed” Jennie grumbled

 But you weren’t listening

You were too focused on staring burning holes into that beautiful boy’s back

y/n stop being whipped challenge: failed 

You immediately made a pact with your friends to try and get this cute boy’s attention at all cost today

When he wasn’t busy that is!!! please don’t try to distract a working lifeguard 

Standing up straighter and smiling while sending little glances up at the chair, mission get y/n their man was a go 🤪👊🏼

Meanwhile, Seungkwan was bored™️

There was little to do at Disney, since everything was pretty much baby-proofed

expect for the wave pool, where he was currently stationed 

The amount of dumb tourists that were knocked down by waves and then proceeded to come to him to complain when it is literally called a wave pool was frustrating to say the least

Like he’s supposed to be on duty, what is he supposed to do, fight the pool? headass 🗿

So whlle he was grilling away in the heat, he decided to people watch

his personal talent

And his eyes landed on you and your rowdy friends

Mentally groaning to himself, he sat up straighter to make sure to keep extra watch on your group

It was always the rowdy groups that caused the most trouble 

Trying to not make it so obivous he was babysitting your group from far away, he only took sparring glances at your and your friends

Meaning he missed the signals you sent to him to,,, “flirt” if you can even call it that 

Which was frustrating,, to say the least

So with you growing more and more unconfident in making Kwannie turn, your friends immediately knew what they had to do when they got to the deeper part o the wave pool 

Which was faking you drowning

Sounds kinda desperate but how else were you gonna get his attention?? he’s a working man

Jennie cleared her throat after sending Jiyho a look

“Hey y/n, lets go in deeper!” 

You immediately got nervous with that 

“I don’t know guys,,, its already pretty strong over here, and its barely up to our thighs,,,”

 Jiyho just waved it off “You’ll be fine, you have us to hold you up<” Jiyho started

“And if anything goes wrong, mr cute over there can hold you up ;)))” 

“Y’all better not be planning my funeral” you warned wearly as they dragged you deeper into the water

Jennie + Jiyho: “Don’t worry!! You’ll live”

Watching you being dragged over to the deep end of the pool, Seungkwan started to really focus on you guys

Only to be blocked by Chan who stood in front of him

“Hyung, you can take break now, I got it” the younger boy stated

“Give me a couple more minutes” he muttered, eyes never leaving you and your friends

Chan followed his gaze over to the pool, where you were currently being dragged into shoulder height

“Ah! do you like one of them or something?” Chan said loudly

Seungkwan opened his mouth to say something when he heard a loud shout from the pool

Just as he thought, it was you that went under the waves

He cursed to himself, shoving Chan out of the way 

“Move fathead, I got this” he grunted before sprinting over to the scene 

Chan, ten seconds later: “fATHEAD?? BITCH-” 

Meanwhile during that short talk, you were trying to break free from your friends

“Guy I really don’t feel comfortable anymore, we’re almost over our heads!” you called, but they weren’t listening anymore

Struggling to break free, you coincidentally didn’t see the rather large wave coming towards you and your friends 

“Here we go!” Jennie shouted gleefully, as the wave crashed into the three of you 

Not expecting it, you took in a large gasp of pool water while under there, and were failing after Jennie and Jiyho let go of you

Panicking as if you forgot how to swim, your body completely went into fight or flight mode and you started to flail 

This in turn, made things worse

Just as your boy was about to completely knock out from sheer terror, a strong grip grabbed your arm and yanked you up

Sputtering and thinking it was Jennie you turned to give her a piece of your mind

Instead you found yourself being dragged to the land with a concerned Jennie and a near tears Jiyho behind you, the two apologizing profusely

Putting two and two together you slowly turned to see none other that the cute lifeguard from before,,, shit 🗿

Finally hitting ground where you could stand you gently pried your arm out of his grip

“I-I can stand from here,, but t-thank you for all your help,,,” you said awkwardly

He turned and gave you a hard look 

Expecting him to yell a you, you prepared for the worst

But wasn’t expecting his reaction  “It’s my job” Seungkwan said with a laugh, “Are you in need of any other assistance now that you have my attention?”

This was the opportunity you friends had been waiting on

“Actually yes!!” Jiyho started, briskly walking over to you two

“She’s still a little weak on her feet, could you maybe help her??” 

And guess what 

THE BITCH SHOVED YOU 

SHOVED YOUR WHOLE BODY ON SEUNGKWAN HJDKDF

BRUH IF IT WANS’T BAD ENOUGH-- THE GIRL DON’T QUIT 🗿

Seungkwan, as if he was expecting it, caught your flying body before you knocked the two of you over

“Careful now, you did nearly swallow the whole pool” he joked 

“Watch it” you said gently hitting his arm

As unprofessional as it was, Seungkwan couldn’t help but admit that you were really pretty,,,

He couldn’t really tell from afar and underwater, but damn

Boy was: whipped

SO he was gonna try and milk any time he could have with you 

“Maybe we should have you checked out, just to make sure” he said

“YES! She would love that!” Jihyo blurted, making you turn pink

Smooth Jiyho. 10/10 

“O-oh? Your face is turning red,” Seungkwan said, feigning ignorance. “ I think we should at least give you sunscreen or a some water.” 

So with that said, he took you over to one of the huts selling drinks and bought you one

“Wait-” you started but he raised a hand. 

“No need,” he said with a smile. “After all, it’s my job.”

“At least let me pay you back somehow,,” You said ”I feel bad that you saved me and bought me water.” 

“Just your name with be enough” smooth, Kwan

“It’s y/n” you said, sticking your hand out. “And you? What’s yours? Or should I keep calling you the cute lifeguard that saved my life?” 

Now its Seungkwan’s turned to be flustered uwu

“I’m Seungkwan. But cute lifeguard works too,,,”

After returning to our friends with your water and a comfortable silence between you and Seungkwan, you turned to him

“When’s your next break? Maybe,,, if you want company,, I can chill with you while they go swim?” you questioned bashfully 

“I would love that”

During his short yet sweet break, you guys got to know each other better 

Seungkwan tried to finesse the system and tried to make Chan take his second shift 

“Im helping the poor soul who nearly drowned! D R OW N E D, Chan. I’m in a therapy session right now shut up” 

Chan, not having it: Shut up bitch- IF YOU THINK FOR  A SECOND YOU’RE GETTING OFF FOR CALLING ME FATHEAD 😤 

RIP Seungkwan 

Later, as you were finally leaving the pool, Seungkwan jogged up to you stopped you yet again 

“Wait!” He said, nearly out of great from running from his shift

“I know it’s a little early but, can I get your number?”

*Cue internal screeching*

“S-sure!” And with that the two of you shot each other a quick text so the other would have the number saved

As you sat in the car talking to the two troublemakers up front, your phone dinged once more

Cute lifeguard 😊💞: hey, when can I see you again?

You nearly made Jennie crash the car after the scream you let out LMAOO

And once you told the girls, they screamed too DBDJDB

Texting back quickly you responded with:

You: I’m free Friday night, if you wanted to catch the Disney fireworks?

Cute lifeguard 😊💞: works for me! See you then! 😆

BRO WHO LET BOO SEUNGKWAN BE THIS CUTE

me that’s who 🤪

Putting the phone down and grinning, you couldn’t help but be excited for whatever was next to come with you and Seungkwan

Who knows, maybe this summer will be a memorable one with a boyfriend?? Only time would tell ;))

[harry-niclach]

Crowns Part 1

Title: Crowns

Previous | Masterlist | Next

The artist is the wonderful and kind @painfullybisexual

And this is for the Big Bang @ts-storytime thanks for creating this it helped me get used to a deadline and it helped improve my writing so thanks you guys and thanks for all your tips! Ily guys

Pairings/Characters: Romantic Analogical (Logan and Virgil) and Platonic/Familial Royality (Roman and Patton) and some oc and side characters that are in a relationship or are implied to be in love!

AU: Fantasy/Medieval based

Summary: Virgil has always been alone. He didn’t believe that there was a place for him out there. So when his Mother left him with a quick to turn Father he seemed more alone than ever. Now, however, someone is trying to help him, what can their reasoning be?

And more importantly, can Virgil stop himself from being too gay and falling for him?

Warnings: Panic, Panic attack, Minor Character Death, Illness, Cuts from falling, Swearing, blood, weapons, sword fighting/knife fighting, chase scene or two, If there's more let me know. There were more but I ran out of time to expand. (These are warnings for the entire book I will put the ones that apply for the chapter in bold!)

A/N: Research was done for the characters, names, outfits and some other random bits and bobs the rest is the fantasy half where things were added that might not be 100% factual but that’s part of the fun I guess! I hope you enjoy reading it and I hope I make the deadline! This will also end on a cliffhanger and depending on what people think I will make sequel if it goes down well and I know that Roman and Patton aren’t written as much as Logan and Virgil and that’s like only because I love analogical so much that I just can’t stop once I start but they do meet! I’m only 13 and I have written before just not on Tumblr so I had to balance school and homework and stuff too like others probably did too but don’t be mad if it isn’t great! I appreciate all the feedback though so don’t be afraid to let me know what you think!

The stairs had given way a few days ago. No one had come by. He was stuck.

The vines outside had grown and tangled in the crumbling walls, the bushes outside had grown wildly, and the grey sky ceased to clear. There was a very cold draft all through the tower and the stairs were gone and in a pile at the foot of the tower. Virgil’s crown had been thrown in a corner the second day that he had been trapped.

After all, it was the reason his world had crumbled, much like the stairs.

He had been waiting for a few days now.

-

People like knights were supposed to pass by here and they did but in the last few days no one had been near the area and it seemed like the universe was against him. His anxious heart was beginning to beat faster and faster. His eyes looked out the window and scanned the grass outside in hopes of seeing someone, anyone, but he could see no one and his hopes of hearing someone were drowned out by the sound of his heartbeat in his ear and his breathing that was filling up the empty room, void of sound. That would explain why he didn’t hear his savior approach,

“Is there someone up there?!” The voice was cold and precise and snapped him out of his panic,

“Y-yeah! Please! Fuck, the-the stairs I-I can’t get out!” He called back to whoever was at the bottom, his voice cracking as he stumbled over his words trying to get them out in desperation. This person sensed his discomfort and began talking calmly,

“Okay, I will find a way to get you down but please do as I say, can you do that?” Virgil only took a moment to respond,

“Y-Yeah I-I’ll try,” He was still shaking quite a bit but his mind had calmed slightly at the thought of finally getting out of this awful tower.

After about 5 minutes of listening intently waiting for the man at the bottom to tell him to do something, he heard a low rumble and some more bricks fell startling Virgil so much that a small yelp emitted from him.

“Are you alright up there?” He heard the voice once again filling him up with more hope. He nodded for a moment before realizing that this person couldn’t actually see him,

“Y-yes!” He went back to being quiet and sat on the small creaky bed in the corner of his small damp room. It was a miracle that he hadn’t become ill yet.

“Okay I need you to stand where the stairs used to be so that I can throw up a rope ladder to you, can you do that?” This man was constantly making sure that Virgil was okay. Who on god's green earth was he? Virgil pushed that thought away as it was unimportant right now, he honestly did care who was rescuing him but he also didn’t care. If the person was nice enough to rescue him and go out of their way to do so, then he assumed they were an okay person. Virgil didn’t like to assume things but in this case, he had to and it was a gut feeling so he went with it.

Virgil walked shakily over to the stairwell and looked down, making sure to keep his body pressed around the wall from the fear of falling. He waited a few minutes for this stranger to eventually throw a rope ladder up the tower. He waited and waited, he waited to the point that his anxious head made up reasons for why it was taking so long and his anxious heart began to beat faster and faster but he willed himself to at least make it down until he had a panic attack.

Just as he was about to give in the stranger came back and they had a rope ladder. Virgil’s next thought was that this stranger was very handsome and his thought after that was that he was a prince from the North. Which sent him into a further panic.

-

For the longest time, the North and the South Kingdom had been fighting and invading and pillaging the towns in the west where the dark sides were and Virgil had been roped into this quite against his own will. It had all been a big misunderstanding but the strange thing was that he would rather be stuck up in the tower forever than be back in the west. He wasn’t even a dark side! But as soon as the people of the uneasy kingdom saw him they guessed that he was their next king and when Virgil denied they ignored and when Virgil protested they reacted and that was how this whole thing had happened. God he wished his father hadn’t wanted to move to the west in a desperate act of fear of the South Kingdom who had threatened him so he decided this was a good idea.

He had never been more wrong in his life but Virgil didn't care he now hated the man he once called father as when Virgil was assumed of royal blood he sided with those in the wrong and when it came to dealing with Virgil’s outbursts his “Father” agreed with moving somewhere where he had nothing to mess up and where he was out of the way.

-

So that’s what happened and now after days of waiting for some stranger from one of the very kingdoms he feared was here trying to help him.

Why?

He was broken out of his thoughts, once again, thanks to the man shouting up the stairwell his voice laced with the slight undertones of frustration which implied that he was repeating himself,

“Please, listen, I can hear that you’re breathing quite erratically, please take a deep breath and try to focus until we at least get you down from up there,” His voice was very calculating and precise but nevertheless he did have a point, taking in a deep breath Virgil nodded more to himself before calling back down the stairwell,

“Y-yeah, o-of course,” His voice broke a little and his pitch was a little higher than usual but who could blame him because he was currently stuck in a tower with a stranger trying to help him down with a probably unstable ladder but hey at least he was getting down,

Right?

The man wasted no time in throwing up the ladder then he went on to instructing Virgil on what he should do,

“Okay, First I need you to make sure you have everything as we will not be returning here then I need you to hook the ladder onto the brickwork where the stairs used to stand, Can you do that?” His voice was again not too loud and not in the slightest bit concerned he seemed very calm, in fact, he seemed like he had no problems in the world but what caught Virgil’s attention was the word ‘we’ what did he mean?! Virgil did as he was instructed without argument or protest. Once the ladder had been hooked onto the relatively sound brickwork, the man began to talk again,

“Okay, you can begin to climb down now as the ladder appears to be structurally sound  but please hold on tight and shout if you believe it to be true that you will fall, I will catch you,”

Was this guy insane?! How was he going to catch him and how was Virgil supposed to climb down the ladder calmly and why wouldn’t he hold on?! It’s not like he had a death wish! Instead of voicing his concerns he just obediently began to climb down the ladder it shook and wobbled and pieces of wall crumbled down the stairwell but the ladder somehow stayed in place, and for that, Virgil was grateful.

He reached the ground after some unknown time span, as he reached the ground his legs were too shaky to withstand his own weight but the man who helped him down caught him, it was as if he had somehow foreseen Virgil’s weak knees.

“Th-thanks...” Virgil’s voice was no more than a whisper, if even that but he was so relieved to finally be on the ground and out of that godforsaken tower. His crown was dropped next to him in disgust and as a second thought. After about a ten seconds Virgil was shaking too much to stand and lowered himself to the ground with the help of the man,

“My name is Sir Logan from the North,” He looked at Virgil with a warm shine in his eyes but nothing suggested that he wanted a name and information in return.

After Virgil was set down leaning against the wall by the door Logan moved to inspect the crown that had been thrown, He picked it up gingerly and began to turn it in his hands, his face set like stone, he spoke up once more,

“Where are you from? I do not need your name nor do I care what your name is at this precise moment in time, Now where are you from?” His voice hardened and his face remained set clearly he already knew the answer,

“Th-the West, shit! B-but! I s-swear I-I’m not a-a fuckin’ dark s-side-!” He was now frantic, trying to get his conscious stream of thoughts out into words but he couldn’t, and that’s what bothered him. He worked himself up even more tears threatening to spill out as he clenched his jaw,

“It’s okay, I know that your not one of them, I can tell from your stutter so please calm down. Take a deep breath and know that I won’t hurt you, Okay?” Logan was talking slowly but emotions weren’t Logan's forte he had a difficult time reading people's emotions, he could tell what emotions people felt at best but he had no idea how to deal with them,

Virgil began to hyperventilate, he was trying to take deep breaths but for some reason, he couldn’t breathe no matter how hard he tried and he as trying.

There was now warmth where there hadn’t been before. Something pulled his arm from his huddled form and held against a body of warmth. But it wasn’t too warm. There was a steady beat that Virgil could feel through his hand and it, oddly enough, ebbed his panic away until he wasn’t continuing to get worked up over what he would do and what would happen to him. Don’t get me wrong he was still in a state of panic it just wasn’t increasing anymore it was slowly - incredibly - leaving his system as he focused solely on breathing deep full breaths and then forcing them back out in time to the beat which he could now guess was a heartbeat.

After some minutes had passed - or maybe it had been hours? Virgil wasn’t sure anymore - when Virgil could think clearly and was mostly coherent Logan asked him something,

“Would you like to come back with me?”

-

Sorry for any mistakes. If you want to be tagged let me know! <3

[esseastri]

Megan Reads Oathbringer (part last)

I said I’d finish this book before it had been out for a full year, and that’s the 14th, iirc, so I have tonight and tomorrow, but I will finish this book tonight if it kills me, I s2g, I’m ready to be done.

Part 13 encompasses pages 1054-1233 (previous parts)

WE ARE SO CLOSE, GUYS

OH, I wanted to talk a lil bit about the end of part 4, now that I’ve had a sleep and some time to think about it. I still don’t really like it, but I think I can better articulate why.

I feel like a LOT of it is personal preference for Really Not Liking It when my Heroes Turn Out to Have Been Bad Guys All Along. that’s. not fun for me. I don’t find it appealing in any way. 

and I know that Brandon is a big fan of his lil ~Sanderlanches~ of emotion, but tbf I think the Recreance bombshell got a little lost in Taravangian’s deluge of bad news. The major impact of that reveal SHOULD have been--yeah, the humans are and have been the aggressors all along. But instead it gets a little undermined and rolled up wholesale into Dalinar Has Been a Bad Before and We Guess He Is Now Too. It feels like it should have been a separate moment for everyone--for ALL the monarchs in the coalition--to realize that...THEY are ALL the bad guys. All of humanity is the bad guys. But it gets overshadowed by their belief that Dalinar has betrayed them and gets dumped squarely on his shoulders so that it’s less about Humanity and more about One Human--who has been our hero for 3,000 pages and now just utterly crashed which is ALREADY upsetting enough without everyone else ignoring THEIR part in it all.

So what I’m saying is that I still feel like the end of part 4 was really badly handled as there should have been two, separate focal moments that got overlapped badly (worldbuilding vs character moments). But I’ve talked to Lisa and Alyx about stuff and I’m a lot chiller with the actual CONTENT of the reveal, and actually looking forward to seeing how that plays out. 

tl; dr: feeling better about the content, still very unhappy with the execution.

ANYWAY:

INTERLUDES

“Her people couldn’t be completely gone....could they?” Ah, Venli has reached the Denial stage of grief. that’s. good?

or rather, I suppose...she’s been there all along.

mmmm, I wonder if the different rhythms were created because the Parshendi don’t really do facial expressions, right? like they are crustaceaous, regardless of which form they’re in, so it’s not like shells do a good job at. smiling. Idk, I just wonder if the different hums are bc they don’t really interpret body language the same way humans do.

“The strongest and most skilled of our number are yet to awaken” YOU MEAN THERE’S MORE AND WORSE OF YOU? Great.

You know what I want? An Edgedancer size “novella” about Rysn.

wait, I thought larkins were bad?

aren’t larkins bad?

nvmd, I asked Lisa, they eat stormlight, so Bad For Spren, but not inherently bad. I like having Lisa here to remind me of things I Knew At One Point But Have Since Forgotten Due To Reading So Many Other Things heheh

I love these two Thaylen nERDS

Vstim is a GOOD DAD AAHH

you know, that’s something that’s always sorta bothered me--how do Rosharans go around wearing jewelry that’s giving off enough light to see by? How is that not...overbright and distracting and uncomfortable?

WHOA WHAT

I WAS NOT EXPECTING MURDER 

omg the larkin is eating the gemstone that’s been glowing for 200 years, CHIRI-CHIRI NOOO

o_o

right

it makes sense that the voidbringers would have lightweavers, the fused are basically windrunners, but tbh I didn’t think about. you know. evil people that could disguise themselves as ANYTHING #YIKES

yeEAAHH MY GIRL

COME ON BRANDON, GIMME A RYSN ADVENTURE NOVEL. RYSN AND THE LOST TREASURE OF SOMEWHERE-WITH-TOO-MANY-CONSONANTS! PLS.

anyway, on to the main event for the evening: Megan Sobs Her Way Through the Teft Interlude i’m SURE

“the men of Bridge Four would tire of digging him out of trouble” NEVER.

HE HAS A SPREN

SHE’S BEEN THERE A WHILE, APPARENTLY!!??

HELP

uh oh

no

hold on

WHY IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG AT THE BRIDGE FOUR BARRACKS

WHY IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG

NO

NO

ABSOLUTELY NOT

WHY ARE THERE BRIDGEMEN WHO ARE BLEEDING

I REFUSE

I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IF HE KILLS ROCK I AM NOT FINISHING THIS BOOK

I’M NOT EVEN KIDDING

HE KILLED ETH???? AFTER HE KILLED MART IN THE LAST ONE HE HAD TO GO AND KILL OFF THE OTHER BROTHER? FUCK OFF, BRANDON

NO

I’ DON’T WANT THIS

PART FIVE, LET’S GET THIS DOOOONNNE

........there are thirteen, maybe (probably) more POVs in this part?

fuck, Brandon, if I wanted to hop around that much, I’d suck it up and read Martin. Uggghhhhh, I hate this.

HAHA whoops, I didn’t realize it was a flashback chapter and I was like “why is present!Dalinar in a stormWAGON?” and then I realized

“wild chickens range this far east” and I KNOW they mean crows or blackbirds or starlings, but. chickens. is still. such a good worldbuilding note.

“felt both an anxiety to be finished and--at the same time--a reluctance to progress.” B I G M O O D

Brandon: *describes the Nightwatcher* Me, whispering: “yiiiikes”

“What is your boon?” “Forgiveness.” CAN YOU IIIIMAAAAGIIIIINNE

OH SNAP

is that...actually Cultivation?

“I didn’t get what I wanted.” “You got what you deserved.” OOF. OOF. How does fifteen points of damage taste?!

“I control all things that can be grown, nurtured. That includes the thorns.” HM

OKAY

I like her.

HA I WAS RIGHT

EVI WAS THE COST NOT THE BOON. HA

tbqh, I’m still not entirely clear on the boon. I guess...she took away the guilt? or the memories that made the guilt? hm.

HE HAD NEVER DESERVED HER.

AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA DAMN FUCKING RIGHT, DALINAR. GOD. YUP. AMEN

merrgghhhh pov shits within chapters grumble grumble grumble

oh dear

big battle time.

yaassss

ok, but the army of spren at the Oathgate might be friend spren. have you checked?

I’m still hung up on Kholinar, ngl, someone, for the love of god, tell me if Skar and Drehey are all right. alive. s o m e o n e pls care about these bridgemen as I do.

(and don’t say Kaladin cares, I KNOW HE DOES BUT HE HASN’T MENTIONED THEM IN 200 PAGES/FOUR WEEKS OF TRAVEL TIME, MMKAY?)

heh, Jasnah being all “Amaram’s bad guys can soak up the arrows while the rest of us escape” and usually, I’m very against the lil foot soldiers getting slaughtered for the misdeeds of their commanders, but if people are still following Amaram, they have Bad Priorities and I’m with Jasnah on this one.

I’m confused

Renarin’s spren is weird?

Jasnah thinks he’s a traitor?

I’m??? CONFUSED AND UPSET???

LET! THE BOY! LIVE!

WHICH ONE OF THEM IS CORRUPTED, IS IT JASNAH? MAYBE IT’S JASNAH?

Me: “Maybe it’s Jasnah???? She spent a lot of time in Shadesmar!” Lisa: “Maybe it’s Maybeline.”

She’s rude and I love her.

OH WHAT HOLD UP

VENLI IS IN THE KNIGHTS RADIANT CHAPTER?

or is it just...anyone listed at the beginning can be in any chapter?

SHE IS NOT LISTED SEPARATELY. HO SHIT

WHAT

YEAH THAT’S THE THING THAT BOTHERS ME: The fused just. sending in regular parshendi parshmen signers whATEVER TO FIGHT. THEY DON’T HAVE TRAINING. THEY’RE GOING TO GET MASSACRED. THAT’S NOT! GOOD! MILITARY! STRATEGY!

ugh, I’m still just. mad about the Recreance reveal.

The humans are the bad guys, fine. But the FUSED ARE DEFINITELY, ABSOLUTELY NOT THE GOOD GUYS??? so what was the point?

SEE SHIT LIKE THIS: “You are here to do as you’re told. In return, you are rewarded with further opportunities to serve.” what the fuuuuuuucckk

like, they’re still BAD GUYS

Here’s the thing--the Recreance reveal doesn’t really change anything. The human heroes are still going to choose the options that are “good” or “right”--Dalinar was already suing for peace, Kaladin was already making friends with the listeners--so saying “these humans in the past were evil” doesn’t change their choices. It doesn’t change the Fused’s choices either--saying “these guys were good in the past” doesn’t make them good guys now--OBVIOUSLY, just look at that dialogue.

So why bother?

The whole series is about choosing to be better, to do better, but the characters were ALREADY DOING THAT, they didn’t need an extra, super depressing motivator to do that. It’s just there to....reinforce the idea? That’s already pretty solid?

idk, I’m still REALLY struggling with this

sigh

back to Venli

hm

so, Odium can CHOOSE what he looks like when he appears--obviously he doesn’t REALLY look like a parshendi, bc he’s not actually their god. If the humans were the voidbringers originally, then he’s theirs, no?

also, # y i k e s, there he is

TEFT IS IN THE RADIANT POV HELL YAH

“You don’t want me. I’m broken.” YES, DARLING, THAT’S THE POINT.

I love him so much I just want to hug this sad uncle of mine

AAAHHH FUCK  THE KHOLINAR GATE

WAIT, MAYBE SKAR AND DREHY WILL SHOW UP FUKIN FINALLY

“This is winnable” IS IT THO

BECAUSE LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE IN THIS BOOK HAS BEEN AND AIN’T THAT JUST FUCKING DEPRESSING

oh fun! the thing from the cover! finally!

Here’s the thing: three years ago, I would have loved this book. Three years ago, overwhelming odds and impossible battles and the downward, angst slide of all my favorite characters would have been SO MUCH FUN to read. But now? This year? I’m fucking over it. I’m done. Give me optimism or give me death.

I’m exhausted enough in the real world, I don’t need to be exhausted by the books I’m reading.

“You mind holds firm” UH HUH SURE. P SURE NONE OF THE FUSED ARE SANE, bUT THAt’S FINe

“Could he defeat six? Did he need to?” THE IMPLICATION THAT: IF HE NEEDS TO, OF COURSE HE CAN. I’M LOVE KALADIN SO! MUCH!

DO WE FINALLY GET TO STAB AMARAM!!!!!!!????? FINALLY!!!

DOES KALADIN GET TO KILL HIM? BECAUSE I WILL BE REALLY, REALLY MAD IF KALADIN DOESN’T GET TO KILL HIM

OMG I’M SO HERE FOR THIS

MY BOY

KALADIN RECOGNIZING HIS PROGRESS AND KNOWING THAT HE’S GOT SYL AND BRIDGE FOUR, AND PURPOSE AND THAT HE’S GONNA STAY ALIVE FOR THEM, FOR IT. THAT EVEN THO LIFE SUCKS HE’S GONNA STICK AROUND BC THERE’S GOOD PARTS TOO. KALADIN REALIZING HE’S STRONG AND STRONGER WITH HIS PEOPLE. I’M SO

MY HEART IS SO FULL AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

OOOHHH NOO THAT”S HOT

where’s my Kaladin alone in combat stance facing down 6 fused and GLOWING ART BC I NEEEEEEDD IITTT

my soul

I love him

my soul

You know what? Kaladin never gets the Thrill. I bet it’s because he’s too good for this world.

ahhh fuck they got the thing

at least Rysn and Vstim are still alive! for now.

why do they want the thing tho

whose heart is it

WORRIED ABOUT RENARIN 2K18

heheheh Pattern, “I do not like being stabbed” no, you are usually doing the stabbing, huh? heheh

ADOLIN KISS SHALLAN! ! AHH!! YAY!!!

SOFT BEFORE BATTLE THIS GOOD

god, yup. “Um, hello.” SPEAKING TO THE OATHGATE SPREN WOULD BE SO SCARY

the Argonath spren. Oathgonath? Argonoath? Argonoath. heh

I’ll take Bad Lord of the Rings Puns for 300, Alex

COME ON, VENLI. SPEAK ME SOME WORDS, GIRL.

Oh hey it’s Gawx! Wacky fun.

aahhh shit, it WOULD look like the Alethi were betraying everyone else for real. SIGH.

come on, Lift, get them to help. come on, come on, come on

can we unforbid it? esp since Honor is fucking dead and doesn’t care what’s forbidden or not?

“A man can rule his lands until the citylord demands his taxes. The citylord controls his lands until the highlord, in turn, comes to him for payment. But the highlord must answer to the highprince, when war is called in his lands. And the king? He...must answer to God.” BUT DARKNESS--WHAT IS GOD TO A NON-BELIEVER?

“Don’t be stupid. Let’s go fight those guys.” AMEN, NIGHTBLOOD.

“But it had always been nothing more than a rock.” YEEEESSSS OMG. SZETH!!! FINALLY UNDERSTANDING.

KALADIN NO

goddamnit

UH??? WHY IS NAVANI POV IN THE RADIANTS CHAPTER???? BRANDON??? WHAT DO I NOT KNOW?

Dalinar continues to be an extra son of a bitch, and I love him.

ok, I’m betting it’s just anyone’s POV can be in any chapter, ‘cause the symbol hasn’t changed. so nevermind. I retract my questions about Venli and Navani.

HI LIFT

I LOVE YOU

“Did you forget to feed them?” I’VE MISSED HER WHY ISN’T SHE IN ALL THE CHAPTERS

“Wyndle doesn’t like hurting people” I !!!! LOVE! THEM!

PLS BE CAREFUL ADOLIN AAAHH

NO???

NOOOOOOOOO??

DON’T?? STAB THE SUNSHINE BOY????

I’M?

his sord

w

swor

d aah

she protec hiom

uuuuuhhhhjfghmgdh

hmfzngrsmkdc

oh snap hold on

Hello Darkness is gonna swap sides? Not that he was really ever on our side, but like. “will make the transition to obeying the Dawnsigners easier” OBEYING? I’m.

that’s Not Great.

“Leave me”? ????? EXCUSE?? NO!!!?? ABSOLUTELY NOT, SUNSHINE BOY, WTF

he has more words

WORDS

GASP

AAHH

LISTEN, DALINAR, ADOLIN IS THE DUELLING BOY. IF YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE A CHAMPION FOR A ONE-ON-ONE DUEL. YOU NEED ADOLIN. AND HE’S BUSY BEING STABBED AND ALSO NOT HERE AND I’M

YELLING

UNEXPECTED SZETH FALLING FROM THE SKY TO SAVE LIFT??? I’M HERE FOR IT

oohh szeth. honey bunches of oats. one day--one day--you will realize that you don’t actually need a master. and you will become something more.

even if you’ve picked dalinar as your new master, which is good, bc following good men is better than bad ones, buT STILL

also, how come we didn’t get to hear his Words??? I WANT TO KNOW ALL THE WORDS. BAD POV SWITCH MADE ME MISS OUT ON SKYBREAKER IDEALS. BOO.

UGH, STAB HIM, NAVANI

ah. ShalASH, got it

there’s Too Much going on, tbqh.

*quietest of wimpers*: taln

help

aahhh darnit, ok. it IS Renarin that’s corrupted. someone PLS let this boy have, like, A MOMENT of peace

oh for fuck’s sake

Let Dalinar fucking have a moment

COME ON

HE’S THE G O O D G U Y, PLS

I’m suffering

RESIST, DALINAR

AAHH

genuinely don’t think you should just be waving Nightblood around

sheathe that motherfucker

pls

also, if Szeth said his words, shouldn’t he have bonded a spren? Doesn’t have have a sprensword? so maybe he....could stop? using Nightblood? 

somebody help Taln, I AM TOO FAR AWAY TO HUG HIM PLS HUG HIM

THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T USE NIGHTBLOOD

JUST SAYIN’

BLESS NAVANI. SHE HAS INVENTED THE TAZER

or possibly weaponized the Cruciatas Curse, but EITHER WAY: NICE.

“Dalinar pulled the Way of Kings close to his chest, clutching it like a child with his blanket at night” MOOD ALSO SAME I FEEL THIS ABOUT MY COPY, TOO

STOP KILLING BRIDGE FOUR

I WILL YELL AT YOU, BRANDON

I WILL SEE YOU ON THURSDAY AND I WILL YELL AT YOU

“Dalinar Kholin is no more” UH HUH, SURE

That would be boring. We’ve already seen the Blackthorn. It’s boring unless we get something new.

fuck off amaram

gross? not recommended.

don’t swallow foreign objects

something GOOD HAS TO HAPPEN SOON OR I’M GONNA FUCKING SCREAM

I’M TIRED GIVE ME HOPE

IT’S BEEN, LIKE, 300 PAGES SINCE ANYTHING GOOD HAS HAPPENED

BRIDGE FOUR KEEPS DYING, ADOLIN GOT STABBED, DALINAR IS BEING TORTURED, FOR FUCK’S SAKE C O M E O N

(purposely forgeting Lift showing up and Navani tazing people in her assessment of how many pages it’s been since good things have happened)

NO FUCKING SHIT, KIDDO!!! THE FUTURE IS MALLEABLE!!! IT CHANGES!! OF COURSE IT CAN BE WRONG

oh

duh

even I had that wrong--the NEXT step, not the first

GOOD

STAND UP

AAAAHHH

“If I didn’t do those things, it means that I can’t have grown to become someone else.” AND YOU DID! YOU DID GROW! LOOK AT YOU! FINALLY YOU ARE REALIZING IT ONLY TOOK 3FUCKINGTHOUSAND PAGES AAAHHH

YAAAS

YOU’RE MY FAMILY

AAAHH

GOOD SOFT JASNAH!!! NOT A THING I EXPECTED BUT HERE WE ARE

“Maybe it’s time for someone to save you.” *MEEP*

hel p

that’s intense

AAAHHHH

EVI IS A GOOD AND I LOVE HER AND SHE DESERVED BETTER ALSO SOFT AND GOOD AAHH

# yikes

but like, a good yikes

yeah, you fucking better apologize to him

Taln deserves an apology form every single person on this planet, and that includes all the Heralds, and the Heralds owe him, like, a hundredbajillion apologies extra

I have emotions

and opinions

HE’S SO GOOD

AND SOFT

MY GODSON

OH MY GOD

OHHHH MYY GOOODDDDDD

HE’S SO GOOD

oh no I love him so much

TEEEEFFT

FINALLY

YES

GOOD WORDS I’M CRYING OH NO

HE’S

SO MUCH

all my soft boys

best boys

dominoes with crystal transformation? MORE GOOD YIKES

YEESSSSS

KALADIN!!!!!

VS

FUCKFACE!!!

HERE WE GO

LOOK KALADIN, YOU DID SAVE HIM!!! YOU PUT THE SYLSPEAR IN JUST THE RIGHT PLACE TO BLOCK THE SWORD AND YOU DID SAVE DALINAR, LOOK AT YOU

NOW PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE STAB THE EVERLIVING FUCK OUT OF AMARAM

STAND UP AND DO BETTER

LOOK IT’S WHAT i’VE BEEN SAYING THE WHOLE TIME

yes good, heal Adolin, thank you

GOD FUCKING BLESS

LITERAL ORDERS TO STAB THE FUCKFACE

THANK YOU

ofuck he did swallow it

Not Great

every time Adolin talks to his sword, my heart leaps. he actually apologizes and also thanks her and I just! want her to know! how much he loves and appreciates her!

WAKE UP, SWORD! MAKE HIM RADIANT!

COME ON

FUCKING

YOU ABSOLUTE HOOKWORM I CANNOT BELIEVE

TWO SHARDBLADES. OF FUCKING COURSE HE NEVER GOT RID OF KALADIN’S. FUCKING

PIECE OF

ROTTEN SHIT I’m. hate him.

so

much

ooohh Shallan!!!!!! I’m proud of her!! She’d created them to be strong when she wasn’t but she doesn’t need them now aahh!!

OH HEY, FEN’S SON DOES HAVE A NAME and it’s a garbage Thaylen name. Kdralk? all right then

“Life could not be lived making decisions at each juncture.” Szeth.... Szeth that’s. that’s...exactly what life is??? That’s. how you do, actually, live life? I’m ???? ??

‘at the top, they found a jumble of Sadeas troops chipping at a door with hand axes. “I can probably get through that a little easier.”’ HEHEHEH

Lov me a sunshine boy

GOD FINALLY

LET! NAVANI! GRIEVE! THANK YOU

ADOLIN IS SUCH A GOOD COMMANDER, GOD

EXCELLENT TACTICS

I’M SO PLEASED

It’s very satisfying to get Kaladin fighting Amaram and Dalinar fighting the thrill Unmade at the same time

fINALLY something SATISFYINg in this book

listen, I love having the visual of Jasnah’s effortless airsteps from the cover, but I’m still REALLY Disappointed that the covers don’t match up with the flashback character.

It’s Dalinar’s book, it should be Dalinar on the cover, but WHATEVER, WHELAN, ugh.

THANKS FOR ALL THE BROKEN BONES, I HATE IT

It’s never fair when the bad guy brings so many friends to the party.

SHE FINALLY HAS A NAME YES

MAYA IS A GOOD SWORD AND I LOVE HER

eeyyyy GOOD JOB, VENLI!!!

PETITION FOR SUNSHINE BOY TO STOP GETTING HURT

ngl, his is the battle I’m actually most invested in rn, other than Kaladin, I just.

want him to be okay

“half expecting Skar and Drehy to be there to pull him to his feet. Storms, he missed those bridgemen.” ME FUCKING TOO, ADOLIN. WHERE ARE THEY ARE THEY OKAY 

AAHH!! Renarin gets to protect Adolin THAT’S SO NICE GOOD

I ADORE that Lift and Dalinar are besties. It’s the BEST dynamic, such an interesting combo, and I LOVE IT.

“Amaram was screaming in pain.” GOOD.

WONDERFUL. AMAZING.

BRILLIANT.

FRAME IT.

Overconfident fuckface took his own helmet off, bless hiS HEART

“I hurt, once...after I killed your squad, I hurt.” OH BOO HOO, POOR BABY FELT A TWINGE OF GUILT FOR A HOT SECOND I DON’T FEEL BAD FOR YOU, YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKWEASEL

oh, gross

thanks

THE SPEAR THAT DOESN’T BREAK AAAHHHHHH MY SOUL

OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE, WE WERE SO CLOSE

it’s ok, we just need one more good solid hit on that gemheart and we’re DONE WITH THIS LOSER

A DOZEN

RENARIN CAN’T FIGHT A FULL DOZEN BY HIMSELF? OH MY GOD

not good

uugghh fuck Malata, I DON’T TRUST HER

Renarin is very brave. A Good.

OH WAIT, TEFT CAN OPEN THE OATHGATE

YAAASSS

YAAAAAAAASSSS

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASASSSSSSSSSSSSS

I’M SO HAPPY

TEFT OPENED THE OATHGATE

LOOK AT MY BOYS

*SCREAMING CONTINUES*

PHEW ROCK IS ALIVE, I CAN KEEP READING

“YOU LOOKED LIKE PERSON WHO NEEDED HUG” ROCK IS THE BEST I LOVE ROCK I’VE MISSED HIM SO MUCH

Oh right, Dalinar’s still, like. doing stuff. I forgot, ‘cause it’s. Nothing’s happening with it.

Should be focal, but there’s. So much going on.

COME ON, KALADIN, YOU’VE GOT WORDS WEIGHING DOWN YOUR TONGUE.

COME ON, DARLING, PLEASE.

ok that’s acceptable

not ideal

but beautiful

a good, solid Rock.

I will accept this end.

Bridge Four is so, so, so important, I cannot express in words.

oh, quiet screaming:

Moash chapter

oooohhhh buddy

One day, you’ll wake up.

Until then, my very garbage brain will write fic, and it will be glorious.

how do people not ship this

he literally helped her remember herself

he recognized her in her sea of selves and pulled her out, cOME ON

THIS IS THE SOFTEST OF SHIPS AND I’M CRYING

AAHH VENLI!! PROGRESS!!! also what order, I must know

whoo Braize IS Damnation, called that shit, like, a book and a half ago.

“only Ishar survived with his mind intact” A RE Y O U V RE Y SU RE AB T T H A T? ???

oh. those are boring Words, but okay. makes sense, the Skybreakers are kinda. Meh.

ugh, we still have to deal with Hello Darkness My Old Friend? He’s going to come oversee training? ugh.

BEST KISS BEST KISS BEST KISS

OTP: NO MATING

OTP

BEST

KISS

YES

“You mentioned something about kissing me until I can’t breathe, but here I am, not even winded--”

B E S T K I S S BEST BEST BEST KISS

“I don’t think I loved her, Syl. I felt...something. A lightening of my burdens...” THE FEELING WAS FRIENDSHIP BUT NEITHER OF THEM HAD EXPERIENCED IT BEFORE.

“I knew you’d come for me.” brb crying forever

I don’t know if you know this, but I really love Bridge Four.

“We lift the bridge together, Teft. And we carry it.”

[cries quietly into that sentence for the rest of eternity]

TARAVANGIAN IS LITERALLY CONFESSING, BUT WHO WANTS TO BET DALINAR FORGIVES HIM AND STILL TRUSTS HIM

i s2g, Dalinar’s pure goodness is going to be the thing that kills him, in the end.

MOASH WHAT THE FUCK

JEZRIEN

I KNEW Ahu was a Herald, HA, but JEZRIEN HOLY FUCK  

actually dead or just bound in the sapphire bc it IS glowing, so. hm.

hm

god

Moash, plllleeeaasseeeeeeeee ugh

ahhh YAY LOPEN!!!

but it. should have been Moash. It was always supposed to be Teft and Moash and Skar and Rock.

And I love Lopen, really, I do. b ut.

I’m also:

~*~GARBAGE~*~

mmmmm ACTUAL FATHER? OR? HMM

I’M WORRIED ABOUT MY ANCIECT GODCHILDREN OKAY? HELP THEM.

OH THANK FUCK

SKAR AND DREHY ARE OKAY

SKAR AND DREHY PROTECT THOSE WHO CANNOT PROTECT THEMSELVES!!!!????

THAT’S!!!! THEY DID THE THING???!!! THEY’VE GOT THE WORDS!!!

LOOK AT MY BOYS GO! LOOK AT THEM ALL!!

TEFT AND LOPEN AND SKAR AND DREHY!!!!

I’M SO PLEASED

oh yeah they saved the kid that’s good

LOOK! AT! MY! BOYS!!!!!

Taravangian might be the ONLY fictional grandpa that I dislike

I always like the grandpas.

but noT THIS ONE

hm

by becoming king of the world and then asking odium to spare everyone he ruled, he was going to save everyone.

Not

actually a bad plan

Not a great one, obviously. but. not a terrible one.

Too bad it was NEVER GOING TO WORK

oh fuck off, he stole the Honorblade, which means Malata probably killed Eth, so GOOD NOW I HAVE A SOLID, CONCRETE REASON TO HATE HER, GOOD.

“Why would [Taravangian] work with the enemy? Everything he’s done so far has been to secure a safe Roshar--if through brutal means. Still, I have to wonder. I can’t afford to be too trusting.” I CAN’T BE TOO TRUSTING, EXCEPT TARAVANGIAN, I’LL DEF TRUST HIM OF COURSE, Dalinar, pLEASE

I’m dying, you gotta. ugh

he’s EVIL COME ON

ppppssssssst

*put Jasnah on the throne*

we need someone who’s good at diplomancy, who can inspire people and command them! GEE WHO’VE WE GOT WHO CAN DO ALL THOSE THINGS AND LOOK SHARP AF DOING IT?

I W ON D E R

oh holy shit, they actually did it

they actually did put Jasnah in charge

holy fuck

YEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS

EXCELLENT

really moash

the stolen honorblade

HE WHO QUIETS --admittedly a great assassin epithet, but

Mooooooaaaaaaaassshhh

S I G H

okay, so we figured out that Sja-anat is anti-odium, that’s good. but HOW do we know that Renarin bonded one of her spren? just...’cause it’s corrupted and that’s what she does? or did I miss something more specific?

oh huh

ok

cool

OH!, he went to get Elhokar’s baby spren. interesting.

does that make Wit a Radiant? ‘cause I bet that’s not going to go over well heheheheh

WHOOOOOO I’M FREEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Defo not my favorite, but it did pick up at the end there. Part 3 was A TRIP that I enjoyed and I’m still pumped that Bridge Four got 1. POVs and 2. SPREN that was really nice. I’m ~*~GARBAGE~*~ and there was some good garbage Moash content, so I loved that. The roadtrip was Sure A Thing. I love my sunshine boy, Adolin Kholin with all my heart. Aaaaand I’ll circle back to Part 4 and the beginning of Part 5 when it’s NOT 4am!

[werezmastarbucks]

Flame for one [finale]

Word count: 3095

Warnings: DEATH, frustration, language. I’m serious, this one will disappoint you

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3  Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8   Part Nine Part 10 Part 11  

Part 12

Part 13

Part 14

Part 15

Part 16

Steve and Bucky were lost. Several next weeks, you learned that the rest of your team were captivated and sent to the prison, then, that Tony received the message from Steve; he didn’t wish to have anything to do with it at first, but then gave up. For some reason, it hit you bitterly to discover that Steve broke in the prison and liberated Clint, Wanda, Scott Lang and Sam, and you were still in New York, you wouldn’t call it ‘stuck’, but, anyways, with Stark. You said to yourself that Tony needed you, and indeed, he spent all his time with you now, if only he wasn’t training Rhodey to walk again with his new prosthetic legs he’d created. The invention was rather impressive since it gave Jim an opportunity to walk on his own legs, with the help of the machinery. It was better than no walking at all, and you knew that nobody else apart from Tony could make that happen. He also worked on something else, but kept it behind closed doors, and no one dared to ask.

You gathered, T’Challa kept his word and took Steve and Bucky away. They must have assumed you were dead. Tony said, they were looking for your corpse with vehicles, for three days. Steve didn’t have time for that. T’Challa was a man of his word, obviously, and also very shrewd. You recalled him pushing your buttons wisely. Promising you that Barnes would be safe. And how you just switched off at that. Wise. Cunning Panther King.

You didn’t know where they were. Probably, somewhere in Africa. If you wanted to hide, there was no place like two places: Eastern Europe, which was Bucky’s choice, and Africa, a continent where nothing could be found unless you knew where to look.

Tony mentioned tearing off Bucky’s metal arm, and you tried to imagine him now, one-handed, beaten, and certain that you died. You felt the urge to reach Steve somehow, to let them know that you were alive and well, that you weren’t that easy to defeat, and Tony suggested using the one-time cellphone which Steve sent to him for the use, but you were hesitating whether it was the reason enough. It was the last tail you had that led you to them, and in case of something serious, you wouldn’t be able to contact them. You kept T’Challa’s presence in lab to yourself when Tony wondered where they might be. The intelligence could take its time searching for the criminals.

As to you, you were in New York, stayed with Tony, and did practically nothing. Stark had boasted a lot before, about being able to deal with everything, and this time, just like all times before, he kept his promise. All you faced now, after being retreated from below the lab, was an interrogation with Everett Ross, the short man with fancy hair and angry eyes, who was far too happy about catching Zemo to go harsh on you. It seemed that your reputation of an unstable antihero, who was kept among the Avengers for the sake of peace, because you wouldn’t tolerate being imprisoned, and the Avengers wouldn’t tolerate you being killed, worked for you now. You had to just accept it and retrieve back to your suite, after making a deal with Ross. He said, you give away all the information on where Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes might be, and we forget everything you’ve done two weeks ago. You said, ok, deal, chap, those two fucks got the best of me anyway. So, what do you know, Y/N? Lol, you said, I ain’t know a thing since I missed all the fun because I was buried under the ruins of the lab. That was about it.

 Now you just had to give it all a good thought and decide for yourself what to do next. Fortunately, your both legs were broken, so you had some time of peace. You were soon tired of thinking, of measuring your decisions, of choosing and feeling the sorrow. God knows you were so tired. You recalled a day in a hospital of Washington, that day when you’ve last seen the Soldier before now. You recalled how you felt that day. The future was unknown like a dark room. Still, you felt rather excited about everybody being alive; you weren’t too exhausted from that unhealthy nervousness you experienced while near Bucky. You didn’t know shit. You were just happy that Steve was next to you, snoring loudly through his broken nose, and slowly getting well. Now, Steve was somewhere so far away, beyond the brink of the horizon, thinking that you were dead, and you felt guilty again. You couldn’t bear it anymore.

You came back downstairs, into the training room where Tony was sweating with puffing and swearing Iron Warrior. You collapsed on the sofa (because with these plaster prosthesis, you couldn’t do it any other way) and watched them from the distance. Look what it lead to, you said to yourself. Look at that. Divided. Paralyzed. With pain, or grief, or guilt. Lost god knows where. Forced to hide. You were just lucky that Stark found you and took you back to New York. Wanda, Clint, Scott and Sam were still wanted men. Tony obviously wasn’t dying to go search for them and save them. He was deeply hurt, by everybody’s actions, and he wouldn’t let you get inside it and touch his heart. Not anymore. You nearly growled at the thought of it. Tony was so hurt, and you couldn’t do anything about it. You just had to watch as he kneeled before Rhodey and lifted him, over and over again, while James was adjusting to his new legs.

You were crying a lot these days, something which you haven’t done in months. A change was coming.

 That day you slept for too long. When you finally left your suite and showed at the kitchen, the plates were already gone, and Tony was the sole figure, sitting at the tall table and studying some book with a tasteless colorful cover. A forgotten cup of coffee was standing next to him. For the completeness of the image, he lacked small reading glasses. He looked exactly like a father, waiting for his disobedient daughter to show up, so that he could lecture her on the topic of an appropriate behavior in presence of fine young men.

“Finally. I thought you decided to stay in bed forever”, he greeted you. Walking without plasters again was great. You decided you’d go for a long walk today, stretch them, and make them strong again.

You yawned and, sensing a strange impulse, approached him and put your arms around his shoulders. You could feel him tense, and he lifted his face to you, to check if you were alright.

“Morning”, you proclaimed, tapping him on the shoulder and heading towards the fridge to find yourself something to eat. Opening it, you stood for a second, just admiring the sight of it. You forgot again that you weren’t at home, in your flat where no food ever could be found.

“Good news for you”, he put the book out, and you saw that it was “The Statistics and Proclamations on the Neurological Mechanics” by Roger Stiffles. You frowned at it, asking Tony what the hell was that with your eyes. He ignored it, discovering his coffee, and tasted it with a tip of his tongue as if it were a poison.

“What news?”

“Your free pardon is in the papers and on the web since last night. Wherever they are, if Rogers watches the news, they know that you’re alive”.

“Oh”, you turned back to the fridge and picked the bowl covered with the plate to peer into it.

“I said, good news”.

“Yes, that’s good. Doesn’t change anything, though, but it’s a bit better than nothing, eh”.

“You’re not the one supposed to be down, Y/N. Rejoice. Your friends are freed from the prison, you are alive, and you stay with me. And I am very funny”.

You glanced at Tony again. You couldn’t express all the helplessness and the guilt that was steaming inside your stomach, polluting your lungs; there was no reason why Tony should listen to all of it.

“And your favourite man got off cheep”, he added, balancing cup in his palm and walking to the sink to get rid of the cold coffee.

“My favorite man, wow, that’s strong. Especially after I’ve told you about him”.

“You thought about Barnes, didn’t you?” he smirked, “I meant Rogers”.

You closed the fridge, burning under his piercing glance. You bowed your head and put the bowl with the pasta on the table. Thought about pasta. Put it away.

“You seem to miss punches today, mad witch”, he grinned, greeting the glass kettle with the poke on the button.

“I’m tired”.

“You go back to sleep”.

“Don’t be so ruthless, Tony”.

“No, I don’t mean to be mean”, Stark appeared before you and pressed his palms on the back of his chair. You looked in his shiny eyes and melted a bit.

“You don’t assume you’re the one to blame for all that’s happened, do you? You’ve experienced huge stress, so it’s no surprise that you feel tired all the time. You’re on the brink of a breakdown”.

“Why don’t you act like that then”, you asked grimly.

“Because I have things to do and business to sort out, and crap to deal with”.

“And I am just a problematic kid who has a pass for everything and can hang around the tower and do nothing all day long because of stress? You just need another Wanda here.”

“You’re not a kid. You’re older than me”.

“Oh, good, I was afraid that everybody had forgotten it”.

“Well”, Tony shifted his eyebrows, “maybe we just want you to be that way. Psychology,” he shrugged his shoulders and departed at the cupboard, “you convince her she’s twenty, and it’s easier to control her”.

“Did you read it in this hilarious book?” you poked the said book with your finger.

“No. It’s about mechanics”.

“What are you doing in the kitchen at all?” you requested, “you never hang out in kitchen. And this mechanics lame shit. What is it?”

“My friend wrote it”.

“Which friend?”

“The one you don’t know apparently. He asked me to give an opinion”.

“I have an opinion already”.

“And I urge you not to share it with the world. Coffee?”

“Yeah”.

You spent some time in silence, while Tony Stark was busy with the delight of a mortal way of brewing coffee, and you ate your English-like big breakfast of sandwiches, chicken nuggets and jam. When the coffee was ready, Vision seemed to appear right through the floor, and that’s what he’s probably done.

“Good morning, Y/N. Are you making coffee?” he wondered politely.

Tony growled softly, taking another cup from the cupboard.

“Don’t bother, Mr. Stark, I’ll do it myself”, the android offered.

“Nah, he’s the mommy today”, you shook your head, “it’s a pleasure to watch him do something I understand”.

They both scoffed. Vision joined you at the table. You felt numb, while remembering that you were angry with him just a couple of days ago, but couldn’t remember why.

“I think I have to do something about it”, you finally announced.

“About what?” Vision said.

“I can’t just stay here and spend days waiting painfully for something to happen. Nobody’s gonna come now. I will try to find Natasha. It’s been nearly… six months. Wow”.

“What are you going to do once you find her?” Tony asked, smiling skeptically.

“If you find her”, Vision agreed.

“Find out if she’s alright”.

“I really doubt that Miss Romanoff needs anybody’s concern”.

You slapped your palm on the table, and Tony jumped comically, looked at you and widened his eyes.

“I doubt I can stay sitting on my ass with this need to do something about this situation”.

“I don’t see how impatience is going to help”.

“You don’t see many things, Vision. You don’t see too much”.

You stood and started fidgeting, followed by confused look of the android.

“I’m sorry, Y/N”.

“Do you even know what you’re apologizing for, Vision”, you shrugged, “how do you feel about Wanda being captivated?”

“But I hear that Captain Rogers has liberated her”.

“But you’d rather she stayed there, because breaking out is against the law”.

Tony sighed.

“Go easy in him. He’s a kid”.

“He’s not a kid, Tony. He’s smarter than all of us”.

“He’s emotionally infantile. You’re asking him to feel guilty for things that he doesn’t even realize are on him”.

“And this is why you’re not blaming him for shooting Rhodey. But you do blame Bucky for being the Winter Soldier”.

He gave you a look of a well-preserved anger. You rubbed your forehead. Vision was watching you two, shifting his curious dark purple eyes from one to another.

“The distress leads an individual towards engaging in fiasco-entailing judgments”.

Tony couldn’t speak, so he just pointed at Vision, agreeing with him.

“Something you don’t know shit about”, you hissed through your teeth, looking at the android.

“Maybe it’s better this way than to be distressed all the time and end up in a mess”, Tony noticed.

“Are you saying I am a mess?”

“All I’m trying to say”, he replied in a surprisingly calm voice, “is that it’s too late to blame somebody. I made my mistakes. Don’t create yours. Don’t start it now. I told you, you’re about to break down. It’s too late, Y/N”.

He proceeded to the table and sat on his chair, picking up his book. You were sick of their all-forgiving natures. Vision looked at you with soft condescension, nodding in encouragement. You closed your eyes.  

“I’ll go get some air”.

“Do your dishes first”.

“Your dishes can wait”.

 And you left the kitchen, leaving them: Tony, at the table, ridiculous book in his hands, left palm wrapped around the cup of a freshly-brewed coffee. His eyes, focused, but not concentrated. Pain washing off the color from his face. Shoulders, low. But so close to you. Not hostile, not for a minute.

And Vision, casting his intelligent round cat eyes at you, with sincere concern and polite wonder.

 August was wearing out, and the faint smell of fall was floating in the air like one false note in a melody. The dying summer was always tragic, but only for those whose lives sucked, of course. Fall was the best for those who were fairly okay, like that young lady passing by, talking on the phone with her boyfriend, and having all her life ahead. For a forty-seven year old firestarter, with thirty seven second chances behind, it only meant cold. And you could warm anybody on the Earth, give them gentle flame kiss to keep them fine through future rainy November, but you couldn’t warm yourself. You could patch and soothe anybody with their wounds, with the power of your fire, but you couldn’t patch yourself, because fire doesn’t ignite fire. You could love all of them, the whole world, and, maybe it meant nothing, because, torn in millions of pieces by this flaming adoration towards your heroes, you felt nothing.

You took down the street, without looking around and trying to breathe as slowly as you could. Cold is cold, but the sent of fall is great. It’s sweet like rotting leaves. And rotting leaves are awesome. They’re not some hideous human flesh. Your feet were moving reluctantly, slowly, bones still felt weak, but you knew it was just the sensation. You had your bones broken many times before. Broken bones are stronger.

You kept walking and walking, and tried not to think about anything. Still, you had to make a plan how to find Nat. This woman wouldn’t let anybody find herself if she wouldn’t feel like it. So, you had to give her a signal somehow. You had no idea what was she doing right now, but you were absolutely sure that she’d feel her duty to find Steve’s team wherever they are, and help them out.

You heard something above the music in your earphones, and raised your head. On the side of the road, in about four or five big steps from you, stood a man with dark brown hair and big and sad eyes whoch were ugly now, narrowed with screaming. His lips were moving, but you couldn’t hear what he was yelling. You reached and took out one earphone just to hear the end of

“…a fucking free pardon! To the firestarter who burnt down my mother’s house!” He had strong southern accent.

Before he even finished, he took out the gun, so fast, you couldn’t even react. You put out your hands out of instinct, but you got stuck at his words about his mother, and the heatwave didn’t come. Your feet were slow, sleepy, knees, like they were made of jelly. He shot several times, bam, bam, bam, and you saw it as if from aside. Then, piercing pain. Agaaaain.

Oh no, you thought, it was all happening too fast. Before you could take another breath, you were falling, floating down the pure pale white sky of dying August. The pain didn’t matter. You realized you’d die when the black dots came jumping between your eyelids, and you felt your limbs swelling, as if you fingers were falling off one after another. The shouting around you. The endless shouting, and screams, and human noise, would it ever stop, you wondered. But there seemed to come a gentle silence from the wholes inside the black dots. The pale sky was pierced through like somebody shot it million times. You let your thoughts run free as you watched the white mist leaving your lips. That was it. You were dying. But you’d died so many times before, and not so long ago last time, you didn’t feel thrilled, or scared. You were just slightly annoyed, and very, very guilty for the untrue information that probably reached Steve Rogers, wherever he was. Thanks Lord he had Bucky now. He had Bucky now. Bucky. Oh shit, Bucky. Buck-

  I would like to say a big THANK YOU to people who read the work, commented on it, reblogged it and discussed it, or even viewed it silently. Thank you to all who’s been with me on this rather long journey, and didn’t snap at me when I left tumblr for several months, breaking the posting spree. Thank you for participation and reading, and I hope you’ve had a good time, because I sure did. Thank you specifically @lokispunisher , for editing it, and being a good friend! And thank you @rhaeneris for your attention, care and your inspiring anticipation! I love you guys.

I feel that this one has ended strangely, but I have my reasons for it. Please let me know if I should do a spin off to clarify or complete things.

taglist: @moistpotatobear

@heytherepartner

 @sebbytrash

@thewinterher0  

@lbouvet  

@areuforreal

 @allofthesearetakendafuq

@thesalsafic

 @rhaeneris

@capandbuck

[thestaffofgrayson]

1-100 for the unusual asks, you meme lord

Mmmmkay so I cant help being sassy but also wanna give a real answer so we gonna do this -> Anything in parenthesis is a real answer everything else is sass central station

1) Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?  Im a dank soundcloud rapper check out my soundcloud at nobodycares540.soundcloud.fuck (I dont really use any of em tbh)

2) is your room messy or clean? *glances over* clean (m e s s y)

3) what color are your eyes? All 16 of em are different colors actually (blue)

4) do you like your name? why? No because its not Jojo (Yes!!! Love the name Perrin gonna be honest)

5) what is your relationship status? *sets status to its complicated* you could say im a bit of a player (deathly single)

6) describe your personality in 3 words or less? Im sorry who? (Described meme lord)

7) what color hair do you have? Minecraft Steve Brown (Ver Ver Pink)

8) what kind of car do you drive? color? No I run like sonic next question (nope fuck driving fuck boulder)

9) where do you shop? Uuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh (For what Next question)

10) how would you describe your style? Goku Black cosplay (Goku Black cosplay)

11) favorite social media account? The one with the Z U C C (Tumblr fuck snapchat)

12) what size bed do you have?  Uuuummmmmmm my size OBVIOUSLY next questions (Dont know tbh queen maybe?)

13) any siblings? Little shit brother (thats not even a joke)

14) if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?  Why this world fuck you what about mars (uuuuhhhhhh no idea gonna be honest)

15) favorite snapchat filter? Oh man! Love this one altho its not well known what ya gotta do is hit the delete button and when it asks if youre sure say yes :D (they change so often I dont pay attention)

16) favorite makeup brand(s)? Whatever it is Genji uses as eyeliner (dooont wear makeup)

17) how many times a week do you shower? I get clean by rolling around in the snow so maybe like 3 times a year (depends usually once a day with exceptions)

18) favorite tv show? I dont watch tv I AM the tv (The Office or if its Anime then Jojos Bizarre Adventure)

19) shoe size? M Y   S I Z E (size 10)

20) how tall are you?  hOWs ThE wEaTHEr dOwnTHeRe (5′9 - 5′11 somewhere in there)

21) sandals or sneakers? Gadget Shoes (legit those are cool but sneakers)

22) do you go to the gym? I think theeessseeee muscles speak for themselves (nope but I do martial arts)

23) describe your dream date  Killing all mortals and achieving a state beyond that of a god (iiiii dont know I dont really see myself going on a date)

24) how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? Why do YOU wanna know (no really why tho)

25) what color socks are you wearing? Well I’m at home on the sofa playing sonic the hedgehog and typing up responses to an ask on tumblr that about 5 people are gonna see. That being said, Dragon Ball orange. (not wearing em but I have a fuzzy pair of polar bear socks my friend Ana sent me that I love!)

26) how many pillows do you sleep with? Wait what do you mean not everyone sleeps with 25 pillows are they mad? (One for my head, one on each side, smol pillow, pillow pet)

27) do you have a job? what do you do? I am assistant regional manager at a paper supply company named Dunder Mifflin. (Not currently but I’m gonna apply to Gamestop and Costco here soon)

28) how many friends do you have? Toooooooooooooo many I hate mortals (honestly I’m too lazy to try and count rn)

29) whats the worst thing you have ever done? Well I haven’t seen Mulan don’t call the cops (Iiiiiiii’m not sure I guess cheated on my Chinese final freshman year but hey I needed to pass that)

30) whats your favorite candle scent? V o i d  (I dont use candles that much and I shooouuulld)

31) 3 favorite boy names Jo[seph] Jo[estar], Jo[taro Ku]jo, Jo[nathan] Jo[estar]  (uuuuhhhh I like my name so it would be Perrin, Joji, Donovan)

32) 3 favorite girl names Jolyne Kujo there is no 2 and 3 (Jolyne yes I know but I actually really like the name, Perrin is also a girls name so, Milly)

33) favorite actor? Shrek from Shrek the musical (Robert Downey Jr and Chris pratt)

34) favorite actress? Taylor after she sasses me and acts like nothing happened (Millie Bobby Brown)

35) who is your celebrity crush? McCree (Matt Mercer)

36) favorite movie? UM IS THIS A QUESTION LIKE??? OBVIOUSLY THE SHREK AND BEE MOVIE CROSS OVER SHREK B: HONEY AND SWAMPS (I LOVED Black Panther and Thor Ragnarok but Secret Life of Walter Mitty’s stuck with me for a loooong time)

37) do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? I don’t read cuz I’m not a NERD (I mean actual books I don’t ask me about it another time but comics I sure do I love the Marvel Civil War storyline)

38) money or brains? They say Money can’t buy happiness but it can buy me more games! Eat that SUCKERS (Honestly brains because then you can be smart which can make you a lot of money. So many more benefits)

39) do you have a nickname? what is it? Perriushium, destroyer of life and bringer of the new age (Pey given to me by my brother when he was still a baby and couldn’t say my name)

40) how many times have you been to the hospital? Enough to be immune to every disease known to man NOW IM UNSTOPABLE MWAHAHA (none for any of my own conditions or injuries but for family stuff about twice)

41) top 10 favorite songs All Star, All Star, All Star, Chum Drum Bedrum, All Star, All Star, All Star, Never gonna give you up, All Star, All Star (Bloody Stream, Sono Chi no Sadame, Flying Battery Zone, Stardust Speedway, Stand Proud, Goku Black theme, Halo theme, The Apparition, Shovel Knight main theme, Hooked on a Feeling)

42) do you take any medications daily? I take a shot of cold hard whiskey when I get up (nope I dont have anything)

43) what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) The largest organ of my body I’ll tell ya that much (I honestly dont know?? Smooth and soft I guess?)

44) what is your biggest fear? The Communists lol jk Communism is the only way (I’m not so sure on this one gonna be honest I do fear something I just cant think of it at the moment)

45) how many kids do you want? I mean I’m a 16 year old teenager in high school with no job and no relationship that being said 5 (NONE EVER NOPE 0 KIDS)

46) whats your go to hair style? Super Saiyan 3 (Idk I just kinda comb it to the left)

47) what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) All Star. Wait fuck wrong quest- (Two floor medium sized house) 

48) who is your role model?  Uuuuuuuuhhhhhh (uuuuuhhhhhhhhhh)

49) what was the last compliment you received? A like on my post we did it guys we hit one like so I’m here making this 1 like special (I was told that everytime my friend see’s my dyed hair it absolutely makes his day :D) 

50) what was the last text you sent? Yeah that’ll be $5000 for the kill nice doing business with you (Maaaannny pictures of Genji Shimada)

51) how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? WHAT SANTA ISNT REAL????!!!!!?!?!?! (It kinda faded over the years my last strands of belief were gone by 12)

52) what is your dream car? Odie’s car from Garfield Kart (The Mach 5 from speed racer there’s a street legal car look it up)

53) opinion on smoking? Jotaro does it so I do it too (PSA: Smoking doesn’t make you cool or look cool you’re just killng your lungs. I won’t try and make you stop as long as you’re aware I don’t want you smoking around me and you understand the consequences)

54) do you go to college? After that SAT I meeeaaaaannnn McDonalds might be hiring (I’m still in High School but I want to)

55) what is your dream job? To stand in a corner for 8 hours with a lamp shade over my head and make a clicking sound every so often (I would like to be able to draw, animate, design and/or play games for a living. Achievement Hunter would be a fantastic job but I doubt that’s happening)

56) would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? I wanna live in a cloud In the sky and abduct people to harvest their DNA and make clones which I can fight to the death with (eh somewhere quiet and disconnected from people tbh)

57) do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? They fetch pretty high prices on eBay you’d be surprised (Nope I dont use them at all I bring my own and take my own)

58) do you have freckles? My face is a giant freckle little known fact (not really thank god I would look real bad with em)

59) do you smile for pictures? *leans in* I’m gonna let ya in on a secret kid. I wait until the photographer is just about to take the picture and then I hold a middle finger over my face to block the proper shot. Do it enough times then they’ll be payin YOU to get the picture done (I do but I only open my mouth slightly)

60) how many pictures do you have on your phone? They’re all of people I’ve killed because they showed me a stale meme dont worry about it (960 exactly and they’re all either memes, fan-art, or my cute friends)

61) have you ever peed in the woods? Ew no I don’t go outdoors thanks (Yep once on a school field trip in which we hiked to the top of a mountain it was fun)

62) do you still watch cartoons? Well I mean SOME ONE spoiled my belief in Santa earlier so I’m a bit too old for that now. I have a boring desk job thanks LAZLO (I do spongebob is really funny to me still and I LOVE the original Teen Titans)

63) do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? McWendy’s next question (I dont eat either so)

64) Favorite dipping sauce? Drip dip dip I’m boutta rip please i want to die (I dont use dipping sauce either call me a heathen all you want)

65) what do you wear to bed? Well I take off the clothes I wore for the day, take off my earring, ring, necklace, eyes, hair, 3 layers of skin, and call it a night (Pajamas mostly and sometimes sweatpants)

66) have you ever won a spelling bee? *Obligatory Bee Movie Joke* (I’ve never even heard of a spelling bee in any of the schools I’ve been to)

67) what are your hobbies? Well I like to kill all mortals #ZamasuWasRight  (I enjoy martial arts, drawing, video games, game design, and walking around my house with nothing to do)

68) can you draw? UH BOI YOU DONT KNOW WHAT ART IS UNTIL YOUVE SEEN A SHITTY JOJO DRAWING OF MINE (I mean yeah but not well)

69) do you play an instrument? Electric Triangle (Actually, I play the Violin but not super well)

70) what was the last concert you saw? SORRY WHAT I CANT HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF THE CONCERT (I’ve never been to one that seems like the opposite of fun for me personally I hate hyper loud music, people, and crowds)

71) tea or coffee? Coftea next question (tea. I don’t drink caffeine if i can help it)

72) Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? I need my sugar sonic rings (Again, Don’t drink caffeine)

73) do you want to get married? I’m already getting married. MARRIED TO THE LIFE OF CRIME THAT IS UP TOP (I mean I would like to one day)

74) what is your crush’s first and last initial? My  Self (I don’t have anyone I’m crushing on)

75) are you going to change your last name when you get married? What’s crimes last name? Smigglesworth? (If my partners last name is something with an S cuz then I can be PJS)

76) what color looks best on you? You know the color mario turns when he uses the super star? T-that (Pink and Black)

77) do you miss anyone right now? PPFFFFFT NOOOOO WHATS A FEEL *CRIES* THOSE ARENT TEARS ITS JUST SWEAT IVE ANSWERED A LOT OF QUESTIONS OKAY (I miss all my internet friends :(  *cries*)

78) do you sleep with your door open or closed? It is neither open nor closed it is in a hyper dimensional state between open and closed in which no mortal can enter or exit but also cannot be blocked from passage (clooossed because otherwise the cats are gonna kill my fish)

79) do you believe in ghosts? I mean how else would I make a long and successful career as a ghost buster (I do!)

80) what is your biggest pet peeve? My pet, Peeve! Biggest one I know! (depends on for what tbh the other day a guest speaker was talking to the class and this kid was playing music in his headphones really really loud and it pissed me off)

81) last person you called? Called what? Called them a nerd? A good bean? A meme? MAKE MORE SENSE YOU ******* **** *** ******** (Well according to my phone, the name listed is “Mom”)

82) favorite ice cream flavor? I’ll ice your cream if you’re not careful (Vanilla with chocolate syrup mixed together is hella everyone GO TRY IT)

83) regular oreos or golden oreos? The fuck is a golden oreo?? (No seriously, what the actual is a golden oreo)

84) chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? *mario invincible star song plays as I flash color and dash down rainbow road* I’ll have to think about it (rainboooowww!)

85) what shirt are you wearing? Well I…. You see… The thing is…. excuse me for one second (yeah I can’t think of sass to this one but my favorite shirt! Sonic mania that my friend Tasha bought for me and I love it!!!)

86) what is your phone background?  RYUJIN NO KEN WO KURAE!! “What do you think of this color? Is it not beautiful?” If you dont know those HOW DARE YOU LEARN THEM AND WE ARE WATCHING DRAGON BALL (Genji lock screen and Goku Black home screen)

87) are you outgoing or shy? Does THIS answer your question >:D (Outgoing when I want to be, but I’m antisocial so it’s like I CAN be outgoing and personable but it’s highly on my terms ya feel?)

88) do you like it when people play with your hair? My hair is a pride to my race the Saiyans hair is a sacred thing I will advise you not to touch it (YYYEEESSSS I LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE DO THAT BUT THAT HARDLY EVER HAPPENS)

89) do you like your neighbors?  …..the what? Never heard of it before is that a type of appliance? (I mean they’re chill we don’t interact a lot which I’m cool with)

90) do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? Nothin can cure this ugly face fest of spring 2018 (I use face wash when I shower which is typically right after school not sure why it matters but there ya go :V)

91) have you ever been high? “I’m high on LIFE maaaannn” -Incorrect Shaggy quotes (N o p e  never have don’t plan on it)

92) have you ever been drunk? shots ShotS SHOTS SHOTSSHOTSHOTS (nope but I will one day maybe in College years)

93) last thing you ate? The shattering realization that my friends will keep saying OWO to me every chance they get (Pancakes! asked for french toast but I loooove the breakfast food so no complaints)

94) favorite lyrics right now someBODY Once Told Me The World Is Gonna Roll Me… (The lyrics to Bloody Stream dude it’s a  g r e a t  op)

95) summer or winter? Sorry I’m on Mars weather its ZXAR right now (eeehhhh winter cuz then I have an excuse to be inside and it’s also the ski season)

96) day or night? I am the darkness. I am the night. I am BATMAN (Night honestly I’m a fan of the darkness)

97) dark, milk, or white chocolate? Plllleeeeaaase its like asking if you’re heart is pure of evil or not. Dark Chocolate is a sin (Milk chocolate is the best chocolate fight me on that)

98) favorite month? See, some may argue for their birthday months, christmas, new beginnings to the year, but I say there’s only ONE spooky time :3 (Altho I’m one of the fools that’s gonna have to go with March because it usually has my favorite kind of weather for where I live)

99) what is your zodiac sign  I refuse to go by Zodiac signs until Ted Cruz is proven to be the Zodiac Kill————–”OLD MEME ALERT THIS IS THE MEME POLICE”   “I AINT GOIN BACK TO JAIL”  (Cancer! I wear a necklace of my sign all the time fun fact for ya)

100) who was the last person you cried in front of?  Me after writing all these (Don’t know actually I try not to cry in front of people ever)