#the actual crafting and gathering jobs are as important as your fighting ones!

[fratboykate]

Right??? Imagine Sorry for Your Loss with Lizzie being her chill, hippie, kind self instead of a depressed, rude-ass widow 😭😭😭 or Fighting With My Family with Florence being her normal spunky self instead of a pieced lip, tough motherfucker, tinier version of Paige?? Better yet, imagine WandaVision if Wanda gathered blueberries in her backyard and wore flowy stripped pants and Birkenstocks instead of controlling a whole town without initially realizing she’s forcing them to live in her fantasy world bc she was magical powers or Hawkeye/Black Widow in which Yelena did cooking lives on IG instead of hunting down the man she thought was responsible for her sister’s deaths???

These ladies have NOT lived the lives of a Sokovian orphaned witch, turned hero, turned mother, turned widow, turned villain(?) or a trafficked child turned into an assassin but they play the roles fantastically. And like these are just dumb examples but I just mean to say I get what you’re saying, actors rarely are what they portray so but they still do good jobs, as long as they’re actually good people, is it so bad to support their fucking craft even if they’re not members of x or y minority????

What the internet has done is so fucking damaging for rep across the board. They've even forced authors to come out and reveal their sexuality because "How dare you write about queer stories if you're straight?" FAM NO ONE HAS TO TELL YOU ABOUT THEIR SEXUALITY TO JUSTIFY WHAT THEYRE DOING.

It's one of the reasons I said "(openly) queer". No actor should be forced to talk about their sexuality in order to do their job. That's invasive as fuck. You don't know if these people are queer/bi/whatever but choose not to tell you because, guess what, they don't owe you that information. You also don't know if playing this character will actually lead them to figure out they are queer (EG: Ella). Like, the fucking gatekeeping of who can play what is disgusting and is fucking us over. Of all the shit you could get outraged by...pull something else out of the hat and leave this alone because all you're doing is making people not want to play queer/diverse characters and without them you don't get rep at all. That's simply the reality of it.

One of my producer friends was talking to an actress who passed on their script recently and she told them "I played a queer character in the past because my sister is queer and I knew this would be important to her but I can't risk it moving forward. I won't play any more queer women." This actor had a geniune reason and connection to the community. She would've played any queer character with the utmost respect because someone close to her is queer. But guess what? She's gonna stick to playing straight now. Do you think that benefits us in ANY way? How do you justify telling this person they have no right to play a role like this when it was something that they would be doing to honor a person dear to them even if they weren't queer themselves.

And...frankly...I don't care if the actor has ZERO connection to the community. If they're the best person for the role, aren't doing it to be exploitative, and are going to give us great rep then WHO THE FUCK CARES?! THEY'RE DOING THEIR JOB. THEY'RE BEING AN ACTOR.

[kerikaaria]

Premiere

(Jungkook x gn!Reader) Oneshot, Established relationship

Genre: (G) Fluff

Warnings: None!

WC: 1.8k

Description: You’d do anything for your boyfriend, even if that meant sitting through the premiere for a horror movie.

A/N - Written for the lovely @aroseforyoongi ‘s birthday! We were given random prompts by picking two random numbers. My words were: Dedication and horror. AND I HAD NO IDEA WHAT TO DO. HORROR???? I couldn’t figure out where to go with that! So I’m also giving a HUGE thanks to @eternalseokjin​ for being amazing and giving me the basis for this little oneshot! 

Happy birthday, Dianchie! I wish you all the best, always.

You hated horror movies.

It was a mystery to you how people actually enjoyed being scared out of their wits as they watched a killer hunt everyone down, or a ghost slowly drove its victims to insanity. So why, one may ask, were you currently on your way to the opening premiere of a horror movie?

Simple—you loved your boyfriend much more than you hated horror movies.

Jungkook had been working hard at his dream of being an actor, getting his hands on any role he could. With each job, he hoped the right people would manage to see him and his potential in the few scenes and fewer lines he was offered and be able to make his big break.

This was the first big step to that for him. With a little luck, the director had picked Jungkook out at the auditions and offered him the lead role for the movie. And even luckier, it was a movie that a lot of people were looking forward to and was projected to do fairly well. If it did go as well as hoped, then maybe this could lead to that big break he’d been hoping for for years.

What kind of person would you be if you didn’t agree to attend with your loving boyfriend to the movie premiere of what could be the start of the future of his career? So of course, you agreed to come. Jungkook was really apprehensive when he asked if you wanted to go, knowing your severe aversion to horror movies, and you were absolutely sure he would have understood if you said no. But there was no way you could do that to him. If he could sit through hours of those family gatherings your grandma set up every year and deal with the back-handed comments from relatives you hardly knew about how he’s wasting his time on his dream, you could do this for him. It couldn’t be that much more torturous than that, right?

That’s what you kept telling yourself while you were attached to Jungkook’s arm, a smile on your face for the cameras. Much more important than your anxiety of sitting through the movie was the crucial real-life role you knew you had to play for Jungkook right now. He would never say it out loud in fear of putting pressure on you, but you knew that he needed you for support. The cameras couldn’t pick up the subtle hints you knew all too well that meant your introverted boyfriend was extremely nervous about making a good impression, and about how well the movie and his acting would be received by viewers. It was easy to shut down the anxiety when you knew he was relying on you to be a pillar for him.

As soon as the two of you made it into the room and found your seats you could feel Jungkook relax, body feeling lighter after being able to get away from the reporters’ questions and prying eyes. He loosened your grip on his arm so he could properly entwine his fingers with yours, giving your hand a firm squeeze as he leaned toward you.

“Thank you for coming, baby,” Jungkook whispered against your skin before placing a chaste kiss on your cheek. “I appreciate you being here with me.”

“Of course,” you responded, turning to smile at him. “You know I’m always here to support you.”

“Let me know if the movie gets to be too much for you, okay?” Jungkook said, squeezing your hand once more. “We can leave at any point if you need to.”

You had absolutely no plans to cut this short for him. Even if turned out to be the scariest thing you’d ever seen, you were already steeling yourself to sit through the entire film. But to comfort Jungkook, you assured him that you’d indeed tell him if you felt like you had to leave.

Once the lights dimmed to signal that the movie was about to start, you felt the anxiety you’d kept at bay start to crawl its way up your chest. You kept it tampered down for the time being, reminding it that these movies didn’t start out with the really creepy stuff and you still had some time before the ghost was going to do anything.

It was made even easier when you first saw your handsome boyfriend appear on the screen only a few minutes in. You always watched everything he was in, no matter how small the role was. But now that he was the main focus and in the center, you couldn’t help but to be even more proud of him than ever.

Jungkook loved to learn every detail he could about his craft, including having an interest in directing and filmmaking as well. Days spent listening to him critique filming techniques made you also moderately familiar with the subject. While the movie wasn’t doing anything much different than you’d expect from this kind of film, you immediately noticed everything that set up the mood for a horror story. The desaturated and dark tones, soft ambient music and sounds in the background rather than a full-sounding soundtrack, and the ominous feeling behind Jungkook’s character being left a whole estate by a rich relative he had hardly even heard about. It was honestly incredibly well set-up, even if the plot was a bit predictable so far.

By distracting yourself with picking apart the details of how the film was setting up the story and admiring Jungkook’s talent and good looks, you almost forgot what kind of movie you were watching.

Almost.

When the first genuine jump scare happened about half an hour into the film, it held up to its name by making you nearly jump out of your seat. Even though he kept it quiet, you could tell Jungkook held back the chuckle that bubbled up due to your overreaction. He quickly steeled his expression though, leaning in to whisper, “You doing okay so far?”

“Yeah,” you were quick to respond. “I was just distracted.”

“Distracted? By what?”

“By how talented you are, of course,” you easily answered.

Seeing the hint of a shy smile on Jungkook’s face and the tension in the movie having calmed down for the time being put your restless heart temporarily at ease.

But of course, it wasn’t too long until the horror aspect of the movie was pulling into full swing and it was ominous music, jump scares, and creepy old ghost lady creeping around every corner galore. You tried to continue distracting yourself with the well-done editing and admiring your boyfriend some more, but it only went so far. Especially when your mind forgot to remind you that what you were seeing on screen was fiction and not your actual boyfriend in danger.

After a while, you gave up trying to actually see what was going on and hid your face in Jungkook’s arm, letting the close proximity remind you that he was indeed safe and sound next to you.

“Should we leave?” Jungkook gently asked, whispering close to one ear while he covered the other with his hand to help mute the sounds of the movie for you.

You shook your head, determined to make it through this. “I’ll be okay,” you meekly replied after lifting your head up so he could hear you. “How much longer, do you think?”

“It should be getting close to the climax, and then it’ll be a lot calmer. Are you sure you don’t want to leave?”

“I can do it,” you assured him. You turned your head back toward the screen in time to see Jungkook’s character running down a hallway to try to get some distance from the ghost. I can do it, you repeated in your mind.

Honestly, you would have preferred a slasher flick. Demon ghosts had too much power and were too unpredictable in what they could do, and the idea of fighting something virtually intangible scared the living daylights out of you. But this was your current reality and you were going to make it through this for Jungkook.

He was right, and it wasn’t too long before the climax began building up. It was a little easier to bear despite the increasing tension, knowing that Jungkook’s character was close to stopping ghost lady—you certainly hadn’t paid enough attention to find out if she had a name. Soon enough, the climax of the movie hit its peak and things started settling down to a much more manageable finish.

It took another five minutes for you to realize you were still clinging tightly to Jungkook’s arm out of reflex. Letting go, you mumbled out an apology for no doubt hurting him and telling yourself to remember and check him for bruises later.

When the credits finally rolled, you felt infinitely more relieved. You slumped in your seat, Jungkook not holding back his chuckle this time.

Before long everyone was shuffling out of the theater and while Jungkook smiled endearingly at you, you were listening to what others had to say about the movie. It relaxed you and put a smile on your face when you heard people complimenting Jungkook’s acting and about the plot twists that they didn’t expect—and you didn’t really know about because you were too busy burrowing into your boyfriend’s shoulder to notice.

You were glad the two of you lived together because even just walking out to your car in the dark had you constantly looking over your shoulder, expecting a murderous demon ghost lady to be on your tail. On the way home, the two of you kept conversation light by talking about how well you thought it went. Jungkook was still nervous about what the reception would be like, but he was much more excited now as well.

It was when the two of you were laying in bed that Jungkook said, “You know, I’m really proud of you for making it through the movie, baby.”

Playfully, you rolled your eyes. “Good to know me watching a fictional horror film all the way through is such an accomplishment to be proud of.”

“You ran out of the room when we watched ‘Haunted Mansion’ because you thought it was too scary,” Jungkook deadpanned.

“It was! There’s a crystal ball with a floating head in it! How is that not scary?”

“The head wasn’t actually in there. Sorry to tell you babe, but a movie with a singing statue quartet isn’t scary.”

“Shut up,” you mumbled, running out of juice to argue.

“Seriously though,” Jungkook said after a moment passed. “I really am proud of you. And I’m really happy you chose to come with me. I can’t tell you how much it means to me.”

“I love you,” you said in return, knowing he’d understand that those three words held a lot more meaning than just that.

“And I love you.” Jungkook smiled as he pressed a soft kiss to your lips.

You would readily do this again for Jungkook if he ever starred in another horror film. But that didn’t mean you’d stop being a big clingy scaredy-cat about it.

My ask box is always open!

Also, if you’d like to donate to my Ko-fi, feel free! Absolutely no pressure though :) You can also check out my Etsy shop for BTS inspired charms as well!

[madlymiho]

Since the first didn't get through, I'll try from my PC this time. Again, thank you for co-hosting this event. Can I get a Scenario with Issho and his s/o enjoying the christmas-decoration in a port and she just can't stop describing everything to him (how beautiful everything is under the soft snow and with the lights) because he can't see it and she wants him to enjoy it as well?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!! 😱 I honestly fell in love with the wholesome emotions of this request! 🙈 I'm happy to write about Fujitora, because that blind man deserves so much happiness 🥺 I hope this little scenario will suit you! ☺️

Winter Event #2

Words: 1444

Informations: fluff - gender neutral s/o

In your Eyes

The meeting couldn’t have been better, the harbor quite well decorated at this time of the year, the air filled with numerous scents you’re honestly unable to count. Rare are the occasions when you are able to enjoy a bit of Issho’s time, your man busy of course, and always wandering here and there between Grand Line and the New World to fulfill his duty. You know how it’s important for him, somehow to find his own place in the Navy, despite his apparent strength and his obvious intelligence skills to command the soldiers of the Government. It’s never easy to reach such a high post without having to deal with some inner trust issues from time to time, especially in such a chotic world, always in motion. Both of you believe in the mission of Issho, but as you gave him this invitation, you truly expected he would actually put aside his duty for once and clear his schedule, to finally enjoy a bit of well-deserved rest. Being under the command of Sakazuki is definitely not the easiest job in the world.

Breathing some warm air in your cupped hands, you eventually hear a rather explicit hubbub among the crowd, the tall figure of Issho appearing in the middle of the couples, the children, and the busy merchants. Of course, they are all surprised to see such a high commander of the Navy wandering in the streets of their cozy harbor. A smile curls the corner of your lips as you immediately jump back on your feet, crossing the distance to meet him half way. As always, you make sure not to enter his personal space too quickly, his perception of the world honestly different from yours, since you have eyes to see, and his only has other senses to know you’re around.

“I’m here, Issho.” You murmur with an audible voice, even if you know you really don’t have to yell that much, despite the general noisy atmosphere. It has always been your way to greet him.

He offers you a content smile, always discreet, his hand gripping his baton to keep his balance, as he eventually comes closer, his other fingers cupping your shoulder. Intimate gestures aren’t a thing he particularly display in public, but the very fact he’s here, with you, is enough to make him feel at ease. He raises his chin up, intrigued with the sound of flapping wings above his head, as you definitely notice the frown on his features.

“Seagulls are probably looking for some food at that time of the day, and they are brave enough to fight the cold.” You state with a cheerful voice, placing yourself at his side, before you wrap your arm around his. You won’t necessarily guide him, he doesn’t need it, yet you also know that he appreciates when you take the time the describe the way you see the world when you’re both walking side by side. “It’s busy today. I think we’ll have plenty to do.”

He nods, his quiet attitude always pleasant and contrasting in the middle of such a busy crowd, people thrilled and talkative, eager to discover all the new shops on the streets and the various activities offered by the harbor. Issho begins to walk, as you cautiously lead him to whatever destination who would both pick.

“I smell… Sweets.” Issho comments after a moment, stopping in front of a wooden stall. “Can you tell me what they are selling here? I know this isn’t reasonable, but perhaps there’s something we both would like to buy”.

“Aye!” You happily smile, and pulls on his arm to bring him closer, kind people immediately stepping aside, quite surprised to see a navy admiral around, making him some room as a sign of respect. “Well… Apparently, they have ginger cookies here, fresh made waffles or crepes with brown sugar and different toppings such as melted chocolate, fruits, or marshmallows! You can also pick candies; they have candy canes, candy apples…”

Issho listens carefully, more amazed with the sound of your voice, almost chirping, than the quantity of sweets displayed on the market place. He doesn’t necessarily wish to eat something, but he loves the way you sell those products with the most excited voice, as a child would describe a firework.

“Would you like a free sample, admiral?” The shop owner offers, and immediately begins to gather a few items from their stall, stuffing a paper bag with various candies to eat on their walk, quite content to see such an important man stopping in front of his shop.  

Issho eventually accepts, bowing slightly to thank the man, as they both decide to keep going, the line behind them full of children, all so eager to use their berries to buy a few candies while their parents wouldn’t be too careful regarding the amount of sugar they are ingesting. You eventually leads him back in the middle of the alley, as you notice how intrigued he seems to be. You find it somehow adorable, Issho always amazed by the world surrounding him, and finding beauty in the little details someone wouldn’t even see.

“The street…” You begin to talk, because you wish to tell him everything, and share your eyes, even if it only comes with your words. “The whole harbor is decorated with shiny tinsels; they are all rolled around the light posts, falling like stalactites. It looks like ice stars falling in long drops, reflecting on the buildings behind them, giving the area such a heavenly look that it seems to be a dream.” You pause for a second, before you eventually look elsewhere. “All the ships anchored here have candles on the rail surrounding their decks, with mistletoe and holly attached to their windows, and most of the captains have opened their gates, offering tours to children if they ever wish to see how it looks inside a navy ship.”

Issho nods, silent, as usual, but listening careful to your words.

“There are so many stalls in front of the ships and the usual shops that I can’t even count them. All of them are so beautifully decorated, with angels and other items such as snowballs, starts and little imps, homemade crowns with pine branches, pinecones, and ribbons. Some of them are golden, silver, or red…” You can’t help but think that it’s quite a marvelous show, and it’s a shame Issho can’t properly enjoy all the lights of this beautiful place. “I can’t even tell you all the things they are selling as well. Homemade wooden angels, surprise gifts boxes, crafted wooden toys and figurines, fortune cards, candies, foods, spicy hot wine, bottle of various alcohol and wines, gingerbreads, biscuits, cakes in so many shapes, candles, and bouquet of winter flowers…”

He smiles to the more than detailed description, and eventually turns around, his closed eyes almost looking at your features, as you can’t help but feel slightly embarrassed. You really sounded like a child for a few seconds, didn’t you.

“And you, Name,” he says with his usual quiet and appeasing voice. “What kind of gift would you like to have? It seems they have all worked hard to please their customers. I wish to find something which will always make you forever smile the way you’re smiling right now.”

“Honestly?” You immediately answer, the two of you standing in the middle of the street, Christmas Lights surrounding you like the softest wings. “I only need one thing, Issho.” You pause, your hand gently caressing the top of his forearm. “I only need to spend more Christmas like this, with you.”

You thought he would find it silly, perhaps even immature for someone so old and serious. Even though, Issho just kindly cups your cheek, his large thumb describing a small circle on your skin, as he offers you a discreet grin. You feel your heart pounding harder to this beautiful vision, his soft and intimate gesture so unexpected and yet so heartwarming.

“And I wish you keep describing the harbor during Christmas time.” He confirms, his own way to pronounce those words a timid person would have a hard time to express.

Smiling like two idiots, you eventually pull on his sleeve to drag him further in the middle of the Christmas Market, feeling on cloud nine, as you know that you found within Issho the anchor you needed. The two of you would forever remember that day, your completely intimate little bubble filled with many emotions, lucky, for sure, that you have been able to find each other in the middle of this raging storm and those desperate wars.  

[see]

nobody asked but i'm going to lay down the world of stories from the sandbox. also scroll down my page and read the first few paragraphs. i can't reblog it because the readmore is broken but you better read it and like it. you knew what you were signing up for when you followed me, you have to hype me up

stories from the sandbox takes place largely on three islands: otter, foley, and sunwest, sunwest being the biggest. the islands aren't particularly far apart (you could see each island if your vision is good enough, the weather is clear enough, and you're at the coast) but the ocean surrounding the islands is awfully treacherous and features terrible rapids. trade was almost completely inhibited between islands beyond small craft that could fall in between channels of settled water, which made large scale trade incredibly difficult. this problem was only fixed as oc extremely recently by a scientist and experienced sailor: kit depoe. he and his wife did extensive research to find exactly where and when routes could be placed so that bigger ships could navigate the seas, and they created a harbor on each island that is located near the calmer parts of the coast.

because of the "go it alone" mindset that was drawn from the islands being almost completely isolated, communities on the islands tend to govern themselves using local governments rather than gathering under a larger island wide government system. this has proved to work better than governing over the full island under one singular group, because areas on the island tended to have different needs and different ideas on how they should be governed. larger cities like kingery and emblant do have bigger government systems that are decided by formal election and tend to have smaller systems in place under the general government (like neighborhood homeowner's associations for example), but most communities tend to be completely democratic and don't place one person above all else. every single house or building built on the islands belong to a community like these, there's no one who doesn't live in an organized community because everywhere outside of these communities doesn't have enough resources to live sustainably and alone.

important to note, there are areas outside these communities, vast bits of land that are completely public property but either cannot be utilized for one reason or another or are not close enough to the flow of trade within islands to warrant anyone living there. areas like these- as well as the ocean- are governed over by the myrmidons. the myrmidons are an organized private group that has mysterious origins and practices (not necessarily because ahhh spooky! i'll touch on why exactly they're mysterious soon), but they serve a wide variety of purposes within their world and are generally a neutral force. mostly, they manage these neutral spaces whenever necessary (ex. putting out forest fires, looking for missing people), but they also serve as a universal liaison between local communities and take care of any issues within communities that the local government cannot take care of on their own. they tend to specialize in oddities or strange events, being called in to deal with situations that local communities cannot grasp and thus cannot deal with on their own.

the reason myrmidons are so mysterious isn't by any actual effort by any of them, it's because of this world's failings to record history. most people in this world function out of necessity, and it is frowned upon to get a job that isn't strictly necessary. this ideology has sort of fallen out of practice as of late. especially in bigger cities like kingery and emblant, but the role of a historian was never necessary, so thus history has only really been passed down orally or by evident proof (ex. "oh look, there's a lot of bullet holes in this wall. there must've been a fight here.") thus, a lot of important information has been completely lost to time, and humanity cannot avoid making the same mistakes they've been making this whole time.

[thegoodomensdumpster]

I WATCHED GOOD OMENS IN FRENCH SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO

and it wasn’t that bad. Here are my thoughts, barely edited as I wrote most of them while watching the show.

EP 1

OK i like god’s voice so far

possibilité d’embarras gastrique is a good formulation, I wonder if it’s the same in the book ( I think I kinda need to read it in french now...)

aghghdhgs « primo-délinquants »

of course subtitles don’t match the audio for a variety of technical reasons but when you get things that have very different underlying meanings i find it… not good This one about Crowley being evil / a demon : subtitles : « c’est ton travail » - « it’s your job » audio : « c’est dans ta nature » - « it’s in your nature » i mean dang

crowley sounds like a little shit asking az about his sword

« T’AS FAIT QUOUA » - he just loses his shit (kinda giving me some le coeur a ses raisons vibe)

ok crowley sounds very nerdy when he tries to explain that he took down the phone network, i think i actually like this voice acting

ligur sounds… very suave (im a little ill at ease)

crowley getting called mon chou by satan freddie mercury is a thumb up from me

i see the part where aziraphale speaks japanese wasn’t dubbed over and we can still hear michael sheen. it’s a bit disturbing considering french aziraphale has a higher pitched voice (and he sounds soooo much more anxious than sheen, give this angel a xanax )

“sandwich bœuf cresson” ( beef and cress sandwich ) deirdre really who makes this kind of sandwiches

im being reminded that the chattering nuns prepared little cut outs for their explanation about the antichrist switch… such dedication to useless crafts (it made me laugh on my first viewing and it’s still funny to imagine that some of them either ordered or built these things themselves just so they could make this two minutes long presentation for the most important act of their satanic nun careers)

retire-toi vil démon infernal, créature des abysses XD i swear az doesn’t sound even remotely convinced when he is saying the « get thee behind me foul fiend » line in french, it’s just too over the top for credibility, it sounds like it’s straight out of some super intense dnd session

they still can’t say bouillabaisse (which, like, weird because french, but still valid). nice touch is crowley couldn’t say soupe de poisson (fish stew) either and said poupe de soisson (sish ftew)

warlock mah boy how can you be a teenager and not like dinosaurs

c’est un dinosaure un nullosaure plutôt - apply burn heal

La façon dont warlock s’est exclamé « C’EST NUL » m’a fait penser au nain de naheulbeuk

the english version has nothing on french speaking aziraphale for the second hand embarrassement during the magic tour. it’s over 9000 i literally hid my head in my jumper when he was presenting harry the bunny. Horrible experience, 0/20, would not recommend

EP 2

oooh agnes has a lovely voice !

why is young newton having such a quality dub for the three sentences he has to say

dick turpin’s name is jesse james (tbf dick turpin is not known AT ALL in france, i discovered him reading good omens)

shadwell is pure chaos (as expected). No particular accent for him though, the chaotic energy was probably enough. Would have made me laugh if he had like, a chti or a marseilles accent.

aziraphale is so fucking stressed out by crowley’s driving i thought he was gonna explode

« tu es un gentil garçon » => « you’re a nice boy » said az to crowley DANG THAT’S SO INFANTILIZING AZIRAPHALE YOU’RE TALKING TO A DEMON FROM HELL NOT TO PINOCCHIO

ARGH FIRST MON ANGE OF THE SERIES i’m hit straight in the heart

anathema’s mom doesn’t have a spanish / latino accent at all when talking in spanish…. why...

dog being called toutou is definitely adorable (it’s basically « doggy » but way cuter imo)

tickety-boo has become ça gaze. that’s valid. it’s corny but i still use it unironically from time to time so ... i stan

EP 3

« je répands la fomentation » « i’m here spreading foment » « quoi tu fais des crêpes au froment ?????? »  « what you’re making crêpes with wheat ??? » love the fact that we shoehorned in one more ref to crêpes

az called crowley mon cher camarade, unintentionnal communist propaganda ftw

« pas de repos pour les… bah, pour les bons » « no rest for the… good »  – az was so deflated about the ineptitude he realized he was saying, he felt zero percent commited to his sentence

i was wondering how they would play aziraphale not being able to speak french in the bastille and they opted to have him stutter a bit and say to his executionner « excuse me i’m anxious » XD

« vous êtes le 999e aristo à mourir par mes soins. Mais vous êtes le premier en costume beige » « you’re the 999th aristocrat I’m going to kill, but the first one in beige attire » yeah i guess now that az isn’t english anymore his most noticeable feature is his cream aesthetic

« c’est au cas où ça tournerait en eau de boudin » « j’ADORE le boudin » => « in case it all goes pear shape » - the literal translation featuring food in french is « turning into black sausage water ». I don’t know what pear shaped inspires to english native speakers but the mere mention of boudin always make me giggle, it’s such a funny word and such a funny food

OH !!! no terrence rampa for the tv series, we’ve got anthony J. rampa. Rip terrence petit démon parti trop tôt :’(

« tu roules trop vite pour moi rampa » SERIOUSLY i know we can still infer « rouler » (here as in driving, but literally rolling) as a metaphor for their relationship but you could have said TU VAS TROP VITE that would have been so much better argh

has anathema got an emergency stock of potteries to break in case of emotionnal crisis ?

« Rampa, un démon très futé, il m’oblige à redoubler d’effort » « crowley, a very clever demon, he forces me to make double the amount of effort » oh so admitting you’re making an effort there aziraphale ? :))))))

dang i really want to know how shadwell said that major milk bottle died because not only did he die in combat but aziraphale’s reaction is a bit intense, it must have been quite a tale (this could be a crack fic prompt : «The Epic Tale of the Death Of Major Witchfinder Milk Bottle, by Sargent Witchfinder Shadwell» )

des sorcières et des phénomènes sorciéreux x)

CROWLEY CALLED AZIRAPHALE DUCON ?????? EXCUSE ME ????? #NotMyCrowley #CrowleyWouldNeverDoThat  #CancelAnthonyJRampa2K20  => ducon would be an insult, the gathering of du and con, con being a very nasty but common swear word, and associating it with du- makes it extremely patronizing. it’s like « absolute pathetic digraceful moron +++ ». thanks i hate it *frowny face *

EP 4

l’apocalypse c’est pour aujourd’hui juste après le goûter : it could be translated as « apocalypse is scheduled for today right after tea time » except that « goûter » is not quite tea time but rather the little sugary snack kids take when they come back from school and that most adults drop out of (i haven’t and i’m sure az hasn’t either). thanks aziraphale for having exclusively food related notion of the time because tbh same

ligur has no right to be this sexy between ariyon bakare and his french voice actor that’s just not allowed

radio crowley’s voice vs french ligur’s voice, who has the sexiest voice : FIGHT

(jk french agnes nutter’s voice is by far the sexiest)

gender neutral doesn’t ‘quite’ exist in french but pollution has been assigned a female voice actress and masculine pronouns (i’m saying it doesn’t quite exist because officially we have no gender neutral, but it’s a serious wip among lgbt+ circles to the point where it’s started being used in a few medias)

hastur « en attendant qu’un plombier vienne » / « while waiting for a plumber to come » does hell have a special plumber unit or do demons have to call on human plumbers for their pipes damages ? Dang hastur having to call a human plumber for hell’s plumbery is another damn good writing prompt for a crack fic

Michael is called Michel in the subtitles but Michael in the audio *shrug emoji*

EP 5 

to get a wiggle on has become « il faut qu’on se remue les fesses », literally « we need to shake our butts » like, yes, se remuer les fesses is a common expression to say « we need to act in order to get things done » but it really casts the image of people shaking their booty to some music and obviously crowley thinks the same Weirdly enough I have almost nothing to say for that episode. Sorry. But we’ve discovered most voice actors and actresses so far and no bit of dialogue really struck me as worth discussing or pointing fingers to mock it.

EP 6 

« on va BROUTER quelques derrières » - « we’re gonna lick some butts » OK THIS IS UNQUESTIONNABLY FAR SUPERIOR IN FRENCH THAN IN ENGLISH you thought LICKING butts was good ??? you really thought that ???? AZIRAPHALE HERE SUGGESTS TO GRAZE BUTTS. TO NIBBLE THEM. TO EAT THEM. TO. MUNCH. ON. THOSE. BUTTS!!!! not just licking, guys. This is as serious step beyond licking. (oh yeah he should have said « botter » instead of brouter btw, which is really just kicking, fyi)

« moi je crois en la paix, pétasse ! » wow, language, pepper (fyi i think « pétasse » is far far worse than « bitch » even if it means roughly the same, pétasse is almost never used while bitch is rather common, so it’s a swear word +++)

Dagon sounds like she’s got a nasty cold. #GetDagonIbuprofen2K20

I can confirm that Crowley offers Aziraphale to not just stay at his place, but to move in with him. « tu peux t’installer chez moi si tu veux ». omg they were roommates.

Bad translation strikes again : i don’t know why, but the french dub doesn’t have the « tickety-boo » / « ça gaze » being referenced as Rampa / Aziraphale is being knocked down, which is… a real mistep. It was narratively significant and I’m quite mad the translators missed it.

The Jesse James explanation from Newt has become very nonsensical, instead of the neat and to the point pun « wherever I go I hold up trafic » we’re getting a circonvoluted « because it’s a crime to mechanic’s diligence ». I’m not judging that one too hard, I have no idea how to make it better, and that’s probably how it was translated in the book as well thirty years ago, but it definitely doesn’t have the same impact. On the other hand, it definitely IS a very bad joke that doesn’t even deserve a chuckle, so Anathema’s embarassement really matches the audience’s (aka mine).

OVERALL :

I wasn’t convinced by Crowley… I mean, Rampa’s voice at first, but as the nerdiness showed up it really grew on me. I still think that french dubs have often problems with some voice inflexions every here and there, and for instance in Rampa’s case it was when he was annoyed or frustrated ( at the Globe when complaining about horses and Shakespeare’s plays that aren’t comedies, and also when discussing Azirphale’s magic tricks, it’s like… there is a step between having the right amount of grumpy complaining and overdoing it that is overlooked. It’s overacted, it should have been a bit quieter imo. I don’t mean to criticize voice actors too hard either but as an audience watching french dubs this is a very recurring problem and it always feels off to me. It’s actually one of the main reasons I avoid french dubs whenever possible.)

I have a hard time judging Aziraphale’s voice dub because it clashes so much with both the idea I had formed with it when I read the book and Sheen’s delivery that I just… kinda filtered it. It was too high pitched for me, and too anxious (though for this last point I must admit it could be funny at times, but I’m not fond of this character portrayal). The rest of the cast was rather good, nothing to complain about. There wasn’t anything stellar either, but everything that needed to be conveyed was and it was professionnal. It was also very homogeneous, no voice really struck me as being way too bad or way too good compared to the others, so it was really consistant.

So I don’t have much to complain about overall despite a few wonky translations here and there, BUT there is one thing I felt very robbed of : Crowley calling Aziraphale « mon ange » happens only once, when giving a lift to Anathema, and I’m almost certain they translated it that way because otherwise the joke about Anathama mistaking them for a couple wouldn’t work. So, they were forced to make it that way. The rest of the time Crowley calls Aziraphale « l’angelot », and despite being literally translated by « little angel », it feels sarcastic more than anything else ( the « L’ » in front of « angelot » is part of the reason why, it creates some distance, the other reason being that this word in itself has a very corny vibe and people being affectionnate to each other wouldn’t use it as a term of endearment). So, that’s a shame.

I like the English dub much much MUCH better than the French, but the french wasn’t nearly as bad as I was expecting it to be. The voice actors and actresses were quite good, the dialogues mostly faithful and endearing despite a few really missed steps. It really had its moments. Props to brouter des derrières, that one was fantastic.

[takonei]

Beta AU - Main story, Chapter 5, deadly life (Part 1)

Note of the author: Surprise, fuckers. Investigation is earlier than expected!

Chapter 5: An oath to one’s lost humanity - Deadly life

...

...

"Ding dong, dong ding!"

...

No...

"A body has been discovered!"

Not...

Not again...

"Everyone, please gather in the ultimate weapons maker's research lab!"

Shuichi could only stare at the unmoving body in front of him.

Ryoma... Committed suicide...?

But why?

They were so close to ending this game, they had a strategy, they knew full well how they were going to fight Monokuma and the exisals, so why?

Why restarting the killing game?

Shuichi tried to detach his eyes from the corpse.

The others were as in shock as he was, but the moment his gaze landed on Rantaro, he could immediately feel something was wrong.

The medic was staring at Ryoma with an unreadable expression.

It wasn't fear, shock, nor sadness.

Not a single emotion could be seen on his face.

His eyes were locked on the unmoving body of his former friend.

Perhaps he hadn't yet realized the reality in front of him.

His partner, the one he trusted the most, was dead.

Kirumi and Shuichi glanced at each other.

It was like both realized what was going to happen.

Rantaro had already gone mad from the supposed betrayal of Ryoma during the last trial, he was already slowly crumbling under the pressure of leading a continuously dying group, so to think Ryoma broke their promise to fight against Monokuma and ended his own life...

What was left of Rantaro now that the plan he carefully crafted in details was shattered to pieces by his most trusted friend?

"My! My! I was almost worried you guys would actually not kill before the time limit!"

Shuichi couldn't even look at the bear.

"But it looks like we're finally getting another trial! How exciting!"

Kaito slammed his fist against the nearby box. "What trial is there to hold?! Ryoma committed suicide!"

"Uh-uh! The rules of a class trial always remain the same!"

"Once a murder takes place, all surviving students must participate in a class trial."

"Only accidental deaths don’t deserve the luxury of getting a class trial, so if the victim and blackened are one and the same, a class trial will still be held!"

Miu was also furious. "You're not even denying it! There's no point in organizing a class trial if we already know Ryoma is the one who ended his own life!"

Monokuma was stirring the cocktail he was holding. "I didn't *say* he committed suicide, I said that *if* he ended his own life, a class trial would still take place! Now shoo! You have a crime scene to investigate!"

"What's the point?"

Shuichi felt his heart skip a beat. He turned to the source of the voice.

Rantaro was now facing the bear.

"We'll come in the courtroom and then start the vote immediately. Since none of us have done the deed, you will not execute anyone, and we'll go back to our rooms as if nothing ever happened."

The medic slowly marched towards Monokuma.

"Or maybe you are hinting on the fact that Ryoma didn't commit suicide, and in that case, you are giving an advantage to the spotless, which means you are taking sides, and this isn’t what the objective judge you claim to be would do. This trial is already unfair, if you ask me."

He narrowed his eyes at the bear.

"Unless there is something you want us to find out during the investigation?"

The bear started sweating. "N-No, not at all! This is definitely a fair trial and you definitely have to solve this case in its entirety and vote for the real blackened!"

It felt like Monokuma was lying. Or at least he was hiding things from them. But what would he want them to find in their investigation? What is there to investigate, even?

"A-Anyway! Now shoo! I have important matters to take care of! Like finding this freaking kid I swear..." The robot muttered the last part.

Shuichi frowned. "What did you say?"

"I said I have to find my missing cub!" he yelled, then put both of his paws on his mouth. "Oops! Did I say that out loud?"

... What?

Obtained truth bullet! Missing Monodam

"Here! Have the Monokuma file and get to the investigation already!" Monokuma exclaimed before leaving.

"Wait!"

It was too late.

The six who were still alive were left in the lab, a hanged corpse right next to them.

They all looked at each other.

"What... What do we do?" Kokichi asked, visibly unsettled by the situation. "The answer is right here..."

"But Monokuma was hinting that it may not be a suicide..." Shuichi muttered.

"And yet the supposed other killer wouldn't have anything to gain from this. Unless they were willing to kill because of the time limit, but then again, it doesn't make sense that they would disguise the death as a suicide." Kirumi added.

She had a point. To survive alone would be pointless.

And Shuichi just remembered something.

Ryoma's lab was always locked with no other way to enter than the main door, and he would respond to Rantaro only. That's what he learned from the past few days.

Obtained truth bullet! Locked lab

"But still, Rantaro, you said Monokuma wanted us to find out something?" Miu turned to the medic.

"I was just throwing out theories and it looked like I was right. But the question is, what does Monokuma want us to find that even he couldn't find." he replied.

That was very odd. Monokuma always seemed to know everything that was happening in the academy.

Perhaps Rantaro was wrong, but...

It really looked like Monokuma wanted to flee their interrogation and make them investigate.

Maybe there was indeed some truth in Rantaro's theory.

It looked like he was focused on the case the second Monokuma appeared, which was... Not the reaction he expected, to say the least.

What does Rantaro even have in mind?

...

"Do we... start the investigation anyway? Maybe we'll find out about what Monokuma was talking about..." Miu suggested.

"That would be following the orders Monokuma gave us, but if we do not take any risks we'll never know what he is hiding." Kirumi continued. "I suggest we investigate but keep our deductions to ourselves, just in case."

"If we find out a truth that not even Monokuma could find, then we’ll have the high ground."

Shuichi nodded. "I agree, but... What can we even investigate?"

"It's just like Tsumugi's case..." Kokichi muttered. "We don't even know what to do."

"Shouldn't we investigate Ryoma's lab?" Kaito asked. "I mean, we've been together the entire day, if someone tampered with a certain room we would have known."

Shuichi perked up. "Hold on, when did Ryoma even die?"

"He could be dead for several days for all we know!" Miu exclaimed, shocked by her own statement.

"Except Ryoma made our weapons for the failed raid of the hangar yesterday. Your argument doesn't add up." Kirumi crossed her arms.

"Besides, the body is still fresh. I would say he died several hours ago at most." Rantaro noted.

Shuichi took out his monopad. "Perhaps the Monokuma file indicates more information?"

Turning the item on, everyone looked at their screens.

Monokuma file #5

The victim is the ultimate weapons maker, Ryoma Hoshi.

The victim's body was discovered in the ultimate weapons maker's research lab.

The time of death is unknown.

The cause of death is strangulation.

No other injuries were noted on the victim's body.

Obtained truth bullet! Monokuma file #5

"This doesn't help us at all!" Kaito exclaimed. "Everything written on this file are things we already know!"

Shuichi glanced at Rantaro to try and guess what he was thinking.

The medic was staring at the file, unreadable as always.

He turned off his monopad without a word and approached the control panel.

The others could only look at him wondering what he was up to.

After pressing a few buttons, he lowered the hook to the ground.

He placed one foot on it, wrapped his arm around the chain, and gripped it firmly.

"Can someone make the hook go to the highest point so I can reach the beam?"

Kirumi stared at him. "What exactly are you planning to do up here?"

"I want to lower Ryoma's body so I can inspect it. I can't exactly do an autopsy on a hanged body."

The mercenary walked towards the panel and stared at it for a moment. She pressed a button and Rantaro started going up.

Once he was next to the beam, he climbed it with ease and walked on the narrow path as if it was completely normal.

He sat down in front of the knot. "Can two of you hold onto Ryoma while I cut the rope?"

Kirumi raised an eyebrow. "And how exactly are you going to do that?"

He thought for a moment. "... Hand me one of your knives. I know you have them."

Shuichi saw the others turning to the mercenary with looks of concern.

"Why the fuck do you have knives on yourself?" Kaito asked.

The young woman sighed. "I'm a trained fighter. What exactly did you expect."

Kirumi reached under her skirt and took out one of her sharp knives. She stepped backwards and threw the weapon up. Rantaro caught it mid-air easily.

She walked back to Ryoma and put the chair away. Miu swallowed before following her.

The two girls wrapped Ryoma's arms around their shoulders and Rantaro started cutting the rope.

After the weapons maker was freed from its deadly grasp, Kirumi and Miu laid him down on the floor.

Shuichi approached the control panel to bring Rantaro down.

The medic stepped down and faced the dead body in front of him.

The silence was deafening, and Shuichi couldn't even begin to understand how Rantaro was feeling right now.

"... I'll make the autopsy. You guys can investigate the rest."

It was clear from his voice he wanted to be alone.

"Hey, didn't we say we should investigate this lab?" Kaito asked, who visibly didn't catch on to what Rantaro was trying to say.

"I doubt we will find hints in this lab only. I don't know where, but perhaps we should leave Rantaro to his job for now." Kirumi already started walking towards the exit.

Miu shot a glance at Rantaro, who was still staring at the dead Ryoma.

"Should... Should one of us stay behind?"

Shuichi didn't know if this was a good idea, but because of how silent Rantaro was, it was hard to tell if he minded.

They looked at each other for a moment, worried about how the medic really was holding up.

He thought he had moved on pretty quickly, but that clearly wasn't the case. He simply wanted justice for Ryoma, to get to the bottom of this- and whatever Monokuma was hiding about his death.

"Maybe we should leave Rantaro alone, for now." Shuichi muttered.

Kokichi briefly looked at the medic. "You're probably right."

The group finally made their way out.

Shuichi closed the door behind him and turned to the others.

"What... What do we do now?"

...

No response. They had hope that they were finally going to end this game, and the moment they were about to do so, another death they didn't think about occurred, and it was Rantaro's best friend of all people.

The one Rantaro seemed to have talked to in secret multiple times, even going as far as to communicate in morse code to make sure no one would successfully catch on to what they were saying.

To investigate what was clearly a suicide because of what Monokuma was supposedly hiding from them...

Nothing made sense anymore. That was just torture.

"... I'll try to find Monokuma. Perhaps I can get answers out of him." Miu started walking away.

Kaito immediately followed. "I'll go with her."

Shuichi was left with both Kirumi and Kokichi.

"Do you... have any clues on what we could investigate?" Kokichi nervously asked.

Kirumi leaned against the wall. "I want to know what the blackouts were all about. Although I am not sure how we could investigate these."

There were exactly two blackouts, as far as he knew.

"I mean... The first blackout was yesterday, right?" Shuichi said. "It was at least a few hours long..."

"It happened while we, aside from Rantaro and Ryoma, were all in the warehouse. I don't think any of us could even remotely be accounted responsible." Kirumi continued.

"And it was just in the main building! The hangar wasn't touched at all..." Kokichi added.

Obtained truth bullet! First blackout

"I do think the two blackouts are related, although I fail to understand what was the purpose of this move." Kirumi pondered.

"Maybe we'll find info somewhere? There must be a way to investigate..."

"Isn't there a computer room? I don't know much about computers but maybe it can give us a hint..." Kokichi suggested.

"This entire building is the victim of the blackout. Even if the computer has info, I doubt it will be functioning in this current situation." Kirumi noted.

He didn't think about that detail.

"Then I'm out of ideas..."

"I mean, our current blackout isn't that different from the previous one, right?" Kokichi asked. "We didn't realize there was one because we were in the dorms, so it only touched the main building again."

"The thing is, we were not here when it started. It could have started right before we entered the building just like it could have started hours ago." Kirumi added. "We know the beginning of the first blackout but not the end, while for the second blackout, we do not know either in the slightest."

Both blackouts were still a mystery, then.

Obtained truth bullet! Second blackout

Would it really help with Ryoma's case? Probably not. But just as Kokichi said, it was like Tsumugi's case. They didn't know what they were searching for.

...

The group stared at each other.

"H-Hey..." Kokichi muttered. "I don't want to doubt any of you but..." he trailed off.

"What is it?"

"... What if it wasn't a suicide, somehow?"

Shuichi almost jumped.

The mercenary narrowed her eyes for a moment. "We were all together the majority of the day, so most of us didn't even have time to do anything unless it was at nighttime, which I doubt is the case since Rantaro mentioned Ryoma's death was several hours ago at most. Miu was absent this morning and Rantaro was absent for most of the day, but that's it."

However, that still left those two as suspects...

A part of him prayed that this was indeed a suicide, as harsh as it sounded.

Obtained truth bullet! Kirumi's account

And now they were left again in silence.

...

"I do not have a single clue on what we can investigate because of the blackout. This is frustrating." Kirumi crossed her arms.

Shuichi hummed. "I mean… Ryoma’s lab really is the only place where we could find hints… Should we still go there?"

Kokichi glanced away. "I… I know that after H-Himiko’s death I… I wanted to be alone, so I don’t know if t-this is a good idea…"

"Except we don’t have a choice. Miu and Kaito left to get Monokuma and we don’t know what place could even give us hints about what Monokuma is searching for." Kirumi noted.

"Perhaps we should investigate as quietly as possible…?" Shuichi suggested. "I know to disturb him would be disrespectful, but maybe he would understand?"

The three stared at each other.

"Ryoma’s lab it is."

The trio went back to the room, quietly opening and closing the door. They forgot about how dark the lab was.

Kirumi immediately started going to the back of the lab, but the moment Kokichi and he started to follow her, she gestured them to be quiet.

For a moment Shuichi forgot about the other two being incredibly stealthy- for different reasons.

Once the workbench was in view, Shuichi noticed Rantaro was reading what was written on a blueprint. It looked like the autopsy was already done.

However, he would not do the same mistake twice.

"M-Maybe we should tell him we’re there? I don’t think he would react well if he noticed our presence and didn’t tell him…"

Kirumi glanced at him for a moment, like she just remembered what he told him a few days ago.

"You’re right."

She stood up and approached the workbench, still illuminated by the flickering light that started giving Shuichi a headache.

The sound of her heels echoed loud enough for Rantaro to notice and turn around.

"You’re back."

"Sorry if we’re interrupting anything, but there isn’t much to investigate outside of this lab."

He put back the paper on the table. "I never said any of you had to leave. I just said you guys should investigate something else other than Ryoma’s body."

…

One day, maybe, he will cease worrying Shuichi.

Had he even taken the time to process his death?

"A-Are you sure?" Kokichi hesitantly asked. "We can investigate quietly if you want…"

"It’s fine."

Shuichi swallowed.

"Isn’t there a flashlight or something to help us? This place is so dark…"

The moment he finished his sentence, the room went entirely black.

He simply heard something small falling on the table, then the ground.

"U-Um…"

"This has turned into a difficult situation."

“Monokuma!!"

Rantaro's voice echoed through the lab.

"Get over here. We cannot investigate properly in those conditions."

"Hey! Hey! I am not a servant nor a maid! There is someone here to help fulfill your desires!"

The robotic voice came from behind, the sound of his light footsteps getting louder as he approached them.

He could not see it, but Kirumi was definitely rolling her eyes at the bear.

"If those are the conditions of your investigation, then so be it!"

Shuichi could hear someone turning around.

"Which means the blackouts are not accidental. Someone is responsible for them. That is one new confirmation, thank you."

Rantaro.

"Ack!"

"May I ask, is it because you don’t want to repair the blackout or because you can’t?"

…

Silence.

"I’m taking it as a ‘I can’t.’ Thank you for the answer. Which does confirm that you are not the one who provoked it to mess with us, and it is indeed one of us who has done the deed. Now-

"Enough! Just take these and investigate for real already! That’s not how an investigation works!"

The sound of something rolling on the ground was heard, and Shuichi felt a small object touching his feet.

He bent down to take the item- something that felt like a flashlight. He turned it on and finally he could see in front of him.

Other flashlights turned on as well. Monokuma had given one to each of them before leaving.

Everyone turned to Rantaro.

"… And that confirmed what I just said was true."

Someone among them… Responsible for this? But not many people could have even done so.

He would have to solve this mystery later.

… Now that he thought about it, Miu and Kaito would probably not manage to get anything out of the robotic bear anymore.

Obtained truth bullet! Monokuma’s account

"I think we can go back to the investigation now." Rantaro declared.

Kirumi and Shuichi quickly glanced at each other.

Rantaro seemed to know exactly which questions to ask Monokuma, what would make him stutter and reveal important clues.

Was it something he just knew how to do, or was it deeper than that?

He really hoped he wasn’t looking too much into that.

"A-Alright… I’ll try to investigate what I can…" Kokichi walked away.

"… Then I’ll do the same." Kirumi went the other way.

Shuichi swallowed. If the autopsy was done, perhaps it revealed something else.

"H-Hey Rantaro…"

"Yes?"

The violinist approached the body. "Did you find anything else on Ryoma…?"

Rantaro put a knee down. "Ryoma died one or two hours ago at most, and the cause of death is hanging. There’s no doubt about that. Look."

He slightly moved Ryoma’s head to expose his neck, marked by purple spots that gave Shuichi chills.

"The hematomas on his neck are here, so Monokuma wasn’t lying about the cause of death being strangulation. However, if, let’s say, someone tried to strangle him with a rope, a cable, or anything else, those hematomas would be far more pronounced than that."

"There would be also signs of struggle, on both the killer’s body and Ryoma’s." he took Ryoma’s hands to show him. There were slight stains of soot, but nothing that looked like blood.

Obtained truth bullet! Rantaro’s autopsy

… At least there wasn’t any mystery surrounding this. Which was expected from what is clearly a suicide.

"A-Alright…"

He had enough of dead bodies. Perhaps he could look around for more hints.

Earlier, when the lab went completely dark, he heard something fall near the table. What was that?

The violinist approached the table and tried to investigate near it. And to his surprise, there was a small object on the ground. He picked it up to take a look at it.

The object was a circular magnet, grey with a familiar blue symbol on it.

The one that was also on the hacking guns- Ryoma’s sigil.

Did it come from the lamp?

Obtained truth bullet! Strange magnet

Speaking of weapons, perhaps he should try to find what Ryoma already created.

Shuichi started looking around. If the weapons maker was trying to keep them secure, then perhaps they were locked in one of the boxes.

However, it seemed like both Kirumi and Kokichi were investigating them already, so he should try to look somewhere else.

He went around the lab without any objective in mind. Just finding something perhaps related to the case.

At some point, he stumbled across an object leaning against one of the boxes in the back.

After closer inspection it was… Kaito’s metal baseball bat?

There were a few scratches on it, like someone used it to smash something hard enough to resist it.

Scratches definitely not done the day they destroyed the pool area’s window.

Other than that, the bat was clean. Not shining clean, as it seems to have been dirtied a bit by whatever the person using it smashed, but there were no stains on it.

Obtained truth bullet! Used baseball bat

Shuichi glanced at Rantaro, who was still reading the papers on the workbench.

He approached him to see what these were all about.

"What are these?"

"Blueprints for weapons and tools. Take a look if you want, although I doubt you will be able to understand anything. I know I don’t."

The medic handed him the papers.

There were different plans and sketches on them. Some looked like the bombs they had not actually used a few days ago, and some looked like the hacking guns they had used in the death road of despair. But another one caught his attention.

It looked exactly like the magnet he found earlier. Which meant this was indeed one of Ryoma’s crafted objects.

However, nothing on the paper indicated what it was used for. Simply what materials should be used and how it was supposed to be assembled.

He also found a blueprint for what looked like an overcomplicated lock, for some reason.

There were some other blueprints about different bombs, from explosive ones to electrical ones, and heavy weapons that looked like they could blow up more than just the exisals.

At least Ryoma did try to craft the weapons, but…

… Why suddenly giving up, if you could call it that way?

Obtained truth bullet! Weapons’ blueprints

Shuichi gave back the blueprints to Rantaro. "Thank you… Although I didn’t understand much either."

"No problem."

Somehow, Shuichi wished Rantaro showed at least a little bit more emotion than this.

He started walking back towards the boxes to see if either Kirumi or Kokichi found anything.

The violinist suddenly jumped at a very strange noise in the distance- like a small explosion, or electricity?

He approached the source only to see Kirumi coughing.

"Are you okay?!"

She waved her hand to make the smoke go away. "I’m fine, don’t worry."

He approached the box, although he could not climb it. "What happened?"

The mercenary seemed to have tried to manipulate something. "I’m not sure. All of these boxes have huge locks, so I tried to break one. But the moment the blade of my knife touched the thing, it exploded."

Ouch.

"Oh… But is it okay now to open?"

She shook her head. "It looks like a defense mechanism. I cannot touch it. Although…"

He could not see it properly, but it looked like she was making sure no one was listening.

"I am not sure since I cannot feel pain, but it looks like the lock both creates a small explosion and sends a strong electrical charge to whoever tries to touch it."

Oh.

"Hold on, I have gloves! Maybe I can try!"

"I highly recommend you not to, Shuichi. One wrong manipulation and you could end up dead."

"I know what I’m doing! Help me get on the box!"

"Get some thicker gloves first, idiot."

Shuichi sighed, approached the workbench once more, and took the pair that was on the table. It seemed to have belonged to Ryoma. They must have been used for his manipulations and looked safe enough.

Kirumi stepped down and approached the control panel. Once Shuichi was firmly holding onto the chain, she moved it up so he could take a better look at what she was inspecting.

After moving it down, she went back and climbed up the chain by herself.

She sat down next to Shuichi. "Here. That’s the lock."

On a closer look, it had the exact same appearance as the sketch on the blueprint he found earlier.

After taking a deep breath, Shuichi placed a hand on the lock, which…

… didn’t do anything at all.

He tried to move the thing around, and his eyes suddenly widened.

There was the exact same magnet as the one he found next to the table.

"I found one of these earlier! I don’t know what they are for, though."

He tried to detach it, but he could not even move it an inch. It was like superglued on the lock.

"Weird…"

"… I am not sure how these locks work. Perhaps we should leave them be, it would be safer."

"Agreed…"

A strange lock indeed, that would definitely secure the boxes from anyone but him.

Obtained truth bullet! Trapped locks

"Hold on, what about Kokichi?! He must be manipulating these locks as well!" Shuichi exclaimed.

"Kokichi also has gloves, mind you. But perhaps we should tell him not to move these too much."

Oh.

The two climbed down the box and started searching for the smaller boy.

But before they could find him, the door of the lab opened again to reveal Miu and Kaito.

Rantaro, who was done with the back of the lab, approached them. "Anything new?"

The street artist groaned. "Nothing! We searched for Monokuma everywhere to ask him questions but nothing!"

… Perhaps he should tell them about what happened earlier.

"It’s fine. Don’t worry about it."

Kokichi stepped down from his box as well. "I mean… We did get some info out of him so it’s alright… I think."

"Then what about you guys? Did you find anything interesting?" Kaito asked.

"Nothing really relevant to this so-called case." Rantaro crossed his arms. "We've been searching Ryoma's lab through and through for a while now, and the blackened is pretty much established at this point."

And yet it felt like they hadn't found anything at all. Shuichi knew they were not searching for the culprit anymore.

They hadn't even found a 'why', nor what Monokuma was supposedly hiding.

Miu glanced away for a moment. "Say... Have any of you found some kind of will? Or even a letter?"

Shuichi froze. He glanced at those who were in the lab with him.

There wasn't any.

"N-No... I didn't find anything at all..." Shuichi muttered.

"So he just... without even telling us why?" Kaito was just as confused as everyone else.

"... Nothing. I've looked through his workbench about a hundred times already and there wasn't anything." Rantaro shook his head. "Which does surprise me. Ryoma is not the type to make huge decisions without explaining why."

Perhaps it was better to trust Rantaro on this.

"Do you think Monokuma stole the letter? Ryoma could have given us info in it... Maybe Monokuma judged it wasn't a good idea to leave it be, and we know that he can mess with us whenever he wants to..." Kokichi suggested.

"That's a possibility. We'll never know unless we harass him until he tells us the truth."

Obtained truth bullet! Absence of a will

"Should we go back to our investigation?" Kirumi asked.

"It's not like we have anything else to do." Rantaro walked away.

He was way too calm for Shuichi's liking. Was it because he got over his death quickly or because he was hiding his emotions far better than anyone else here?

Each and every single one of his actions terrified him.

But now wasn't the time.

The violinist turned to Miu. "Have you... found anything in your research?"

She sighed. "Not really. I do wonder what the 'missing kid' thing is all about, though."

Kaito frowned. "We saw Monodam like two days ago, remember? He was just walking around when we were searching for the dumbells."

The street artist nodded. "Yeah, I do! But then nothing. I don't remember seeing him even once ever since then."

Obtained truth bullet! Kaito's account

"Strange... But it's not like it's going to help us." Shuichi noted.

"I know, I know... This whole situation is giving me a migraine." The taller man complained.

"God, do I agree."

After telling Kokichi about the danger of the locks, the group went back to their investigation. Miu followed Kokichi and Kaito followed Kirumi and Shuichi since they didn't have any flashlights.

There was a long, uncomfortable silence between them as the mercenary tried to look through the lab.

"All the boxes are locked. There isn't anything to see here." she stood up and brushed the dust off her skirt.

The three approached the back of the lab. Now that he had a better view of the thing, Shuichi noticed the packs of food and water. Those were the supplies he had taken to survive without leaving his lab. Some of them were empty, but that was normal.

Nothing much to see here.

"Hey, what the heck is that?"

Kaito pointed at something that was hidden behind one of the food packs. However, with the darkness, it was hard to tell what it even was.

Kirumi approached it and took out what looked like... a bomb?

"W-What is this?!" Kaito exclaimed.

"Obviously a bomb that was not used. But it's different from the ones we had to raid the hangar." Kirumi noted.

Something about this bomb felt familiar. Was it on the blueprints?

Shuichi went back and started going through the papers until he found the one. "There!"

He tried to read it to perhaps learn a bit about it.

But upon a closer look, he remembered that none of them explained anything about the use of the tools.

"And of course we don't know what this is..."

Kirumi tried to inspect the weapon. "What I'm wondering is why this was out in the open. All the boxes are locked, no exception, and I thought they contained all the weapons Ryoma made. But not this unknown one."

Why the change of pattern?

Obtained truth bullet! Unknown unused bomb

The investigation was confusing- not more than the previous one, but still, in a different way.

This entire time they didn't know whether they were searching for the blackened, something Monokuma didn't find out, a missing monokub, or something else entirely.

Maybe if they continue investigating-

Ding dong bing bong!

Goddamnit.

The announcement was a bit different. Monokuma asked them all to put back their uniforms correctly as it was a 'requirement for the trial'. They had all changed their outfits to feel more comfortable -and piss off Monokuma-, but now they had to change back, unfortunately.

The three stared at each other for a moment.

"... I guess we have no choice." Kirumi sighed.

"Well we got our answer, so let's just change back, go to the courtroom, vote since this bear forces us to, and then think about what we should do next since there aren't any fucking weapons available now." Kaito started walking away, leaving the two alone.

...

"I have a bad feeling about this." the mercenary muttered.

Shuichi looked at her. "You mean for the trial?"

She narrowed her eyes. "I feel like we both missed something important and that Rantaro is not going to take this trial well, even though it should be extremely short."

If this was their first trial, Shuichi would have disagreed, but... Now he wasn't so sure.

"Yeah, but... We still gotta go and see, right?"

Kirumi sighed. "I know."

Some of them had to go back to their dorms to change, including Shuichi. He put back the vest and tie and looked at himself in the mirror.

He really wasn't the same person as before the game, was he?

Shuichi could barely recognize himself. Eyebags, messy hair, and of course, the constant expression of fear he could never drop even if he tried.

If only he could go back to the happy version of himself.

To go back to his uncle's house.

To stop fearing for his life.

To stop worrying about making someone react the wrong way.

To stop worrying at all.

This situation was completely hopeless.

He shut his eyes down and left the room. Now wasn't the time to do an existential crisis.

He found the others and the group made their way to the shrine of judgment in silence.

Only six of them were alive now. Every time Shuichi tried to think about it, he could feel himself wince.

Ten of the last survivors of humanity had died in three weeks.

They stepped into the shrine but already had the answer on who the blackened of this case was.

Ryoma killed himself. There was no doubt about that anymore.

Rantaro's autopsy proved it, and no matter what happened outside of it, the outcome was still the same.

The elevator ride was as silent as always.

But something didn't feel quite right. It was like they were going deeper than usual.

The door opened and Shuichi's eyes widened.

It wasn't their usual courtroom. This one didn't have any stained glass, nor a giant clock nor anything. It actually felt like a real courtroom, with wooden decorations, scarlet and gold curtains enveloping the walls, and red carpets on the black and white checkered floor. At least this room didn't give him a feeling of dizziness.

"I remade the courtroom specifically for you guys! After all, this fifth trial promises to be grandiose! I couldn't resist redecorating a little!" the bear exclaimed, laughing.

Everyone took their spots, ignoring him as always.

They would vote and leave.

That was it.

Monokuma explained the rules everyone knew by heart by now.

However, it wasn't like they could protest.

Shuichi could only hear white noise at this point. By looking around, there were almost only black and white portraits with a bright pink cross on each of them. More spots were taken by the horrendous reminder that they were all dying one by one than actual survivors.

How many trials would they have to go through before being free?

How many deaths would have to occur for the bear to be satisfied?

...

The courtroom was left as silent as a graveyard, although that was expected from a trial where there wasn't anything to say.

But before he could even think about how to break the silence, Rantaro raised his hand.

"I'm the one responsible for Ryoma's death."

[woventhought]

On women in art history : “I felt it was also missing to my personal life. Art is also about transmission of our intimacies, and as women we haven’t been transmitted that at all. So of course it was about reconstitution and talking about the job of a woman artist at the time and the job of a woman artist at any time, actually, but it was also about transmitting the hearts and the desires and the bodies, giving back some presence and some present to these women. And doing the job of giving back, of transmitting what hasnt been transmitted.” (2:45)

On love and sorority : “We share their loneliness. There is no more the eye of the mother and they are out of the world. And cinema is the only art where you can share someone's loneliness, and thats why its important to look at these characters and share their intimacy. And so we leave the room to sorority and to actually represent sorority, give that experience that is not something you can go through if you're not out of the world actually. So this utopia is a thread in the love story because we also want to talk about friendship in the love story and how sorority actually abolishes social hierarchy and everything opens up in the movie at that moment. Even the actresses, you can definitely tell they are not acting in the same way, it was a milestone, a turning point in their acting where they opened up. Adele Haenel really considers this the moment where she unfroze.” (4:50) “It’s actually also the first time we get some smiles - it’s been an hour and ten minutes without seeing a woman smiling on the screen - which is something I really had to fight for [...] We are conditioned to actually act like that, like ‘they should smile’. And I didn’t want to do it, but it’s like, ‘yeah, but maybe you will need this in the editing room’. And, no! I don’t want this in my machine in the editing room! (laughs)” (6:53)

On the art of the portrait, in painting and cinema : “In this process, with the scene where she poses and the painting scenes, there was a whole workshop for me around shot and reverse-shot, which is something that I didn’t practice a lot in my previous films, there are very few. [...] There is also another reflexion going on that doesn’t belong exactly to the same level, that is actually before she begins to paint : the movie is asking itself, how do you create suspense around discovering a face? How do you look at someone wanting to create an image but while they are moving and escaping? Which is I think the question of a filmmaker more than of a painter. [...] We ask ourselves the questions of the painter, but we find the answers in cinema.” (10:10)

On the difficulty to motivate intimate two-shots : “Even in the process of shot reverse-shot, as the movie progresses, they finally meet. The painter goes into her own gaze, when she comes around. The movie is all about the painter first ignoring that she’s also being looked at and finally discovering that she might also be an object in the eye of her subject. So we’re being very playful.” (13:36)

On metatextuality in cinema : “We have the pleasure of living the ideas, and I always dream of the viewer as being somebody who discovers a language - the language is the film - and part of its pleasure, a big part of the pleasure I think, is getting the language, getting the ideas, and speaking the language of the film in the end. [...] And part of the pleasure is about the anticipation, and also the recognition of ideas, and the fact that now your brain is part of the brain of the film. It must look simple to do...” (15:31)

On the usage of music : “It’s a very early decision to make the film without music. It has to be because then you have to go through the process of writing acknowledging that and finding solutions - it’s not the same rhythm if there’s no music. [...] It’s not like when you’re writing with music, you’re leaving the room for music - but it’s just that you know that you will have to find the musicaltiy of the film elsewhere. So in the rhythm of the scenes, the bodies and the movements of the actors, and in sound.” (17:28) “And then in shooting, it’s about the groove. We communicate a lot around that with the actresses : like if they have to move to one another, I would give the number of steps, because that’s gonna be the rhythm of their approach. It’s not the same if it’s 5 or 6, if it’s pair or impair, it will be a totally different feeling, a different tension.” (18:40) “Thinking of making a love story without music was really frightening [...] Every love story has its own tune, you know, ‘that’s our song’. But it was a matter of reconstitution, as the movie is also talking about the connection with love and art, and how love makes you love art. I wanted the audience to be in the same position as the characters that are frustrated, because they don’t have access to beauty in general and to art in particular. So that was to put the viewer in the same physical condition and frustration regarding music, and so that when it occurs... it’s something.” (19:11)

On the bonfire scene : it was written for the film to be trance-like, with very high BPM, no instruments, only voice and clapping in polyphony. Sciamma wrote the lyrics in latin, “fugere non possum”, adaptation of Nietzsche “The higher we soar, the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly.” Invoke imagery of witches, even if it’s just women gathering in friendship, exchanging knowledge, drinking around a warm fire. “There’s a lot of lines that are merging at that moment. There is this group of women, this big sorority that actually accompanies them in taking the leap of love. There’s also literally the incarnation of the film; it’s very literal. They are facing one another, there’s fire between them, and one of them is going to be on fire, for real. I’m not spoiling because it’s on the poster. It’s also the moment where the film shows how literal it is, and that we’re going to set fire to the characters. The mise-en-scène is totally assumée. There’s no special effects; everything is done practical. So it’s also this idea of cinema. Then the movie becomes something different after that.” (23:55)

On love : “I wanted to make this patient chronicle of the rise of desire - I also really wanted to film desire that becomes love, and to be very accurate and in the present of that. But I also wanted to talk about what’s left, the memory of a love story, the dynamic of a love story when it’s over. And also to bring new imagery to this and get out of eternal love and possession... There’s a sentence from this American poet who passed away last year named Mary Oliver, who says a broken heart is an open heart to the rest of the world. The dynamic of lost love as being a curation for new curiosity, new loves and also a love for the arts, and arts being a consolation but also making us better lovers. I wanted to look at this love as something possible and not something impossible, and get out of old conflicts and old negotiations and to have this new culture, like a counter-culture of a love story.” (35:15)

[dailyaudiobible]

04/21/2021 DAB Transcript

Joshua 22:21-23:16, Luke 20:27-47, Psalms 89:14-37, Proverbs 13:17-19

Today is the 21st day of April welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I'm Brian it is always a humbling pleasure and joy to just to come in and have a seat around the Global Campfire with everybody else and have this place. It's amazing what…what we’ve been able to do together, right? To build an oasis, like an oasis for the heart that we can come to. It's like we made…we built this. Every day we can come here and it's a safe place to be in. Its just God word being read over us and us knowing that we can never really listen to the Daily Audio…like there's no time that we’re listening that somebody else isn't listening as well. And, so, we are in this together and that is an awe-inspiring thing. Even after all these years, it’s still an awe-inspiring thing…I mean I’m sitting here thinking about it and I can't stop talking about it. It's incredible that we have this place where we can be together. And, so, thrilled. Thrilled that we can take our place and take the next step forward. The next step forward leads us back into the book of Joshua. We’ve been traveling with Joshua and the crossing of the Jordan and the taking of the promised land and the dividing of the promised land. And we will conclude the book of Joshua tomorrow, but we left ourselves yesterday with a bit of a cliffhanger because the 2 1/2 tribes were going home, they built this large imposing altar and the 10 tribes found out about it in they’re like, they've gathered together for war and have sent some delegates from each of the tribes to find out what in the world is going on. And, so, we’ll pick up that story. We’re reading from the New Living Translation this week. Joshua 22:21 to 23:16.

Commentary:

Okay. So, we have basically rounded the corner and we are at the end of the book of Joshua. We will conclude the book of Joshua with tomorrow's reading. And we had a situation, develop in the last couple of days that could have been catastrophic, actually could've been civil war with…well…who knows how that would have gone other than it would have gone bad, right? So, just by way of reminder, these two and half tribes Gad, Ruben, and the half tribe of Manasseh that are in question here, they had been given their tribal land on the other side of the Jordan. It was conquered lands while the children of Israel were still wandering in the wilderness. And this land was given to them on the condition that they would cross the Jordan and fight alongside their brothers to settle that land, which they did. And then they came…they were…they were released, and they went back to the Jordan River and made this big altar. Okay. So, the news of that altar reached back to the other tribes in the land being settled and a story when around about that altar that these 2 1/2 tribes were rebelling against the other tribes and against God. That was not true. That is called an assumption. An assumption is a plausible explanation or a plausible way of looking at reality without all the facts. So, you have pieces of a story. In this case, yes, indeed the 2 1/2 tribes left camp. Yes, indeed the 2 1/2 tribes went back to the Jordan River. Yes, they built an altar there and continued on their way. Those are the facts. The rest of it was assumption, a plausible explanation that happened to be utterly false and could…that…that assumption, that reality that people had begun to live into and believe was the truth, that this 2 1/2 tribes went back to the Jordan River and conspired against the other tribes and conspired against God and had built this other altar was going to cause the other tribes to go and squash the conspiracy. And had they strapped on their swords and God on their horses and took off down toward the Jordan River toward these other tribes believing the assumption then it would've been catastrophic. Thankfully, they sent a delegation to see if there might be missing pieces to the story. And once those pieces were put into place the assumptions fell apart because they were false realities. Let's think though about how many assumptions we make in any day, but let's think of major assumptions that we've made that we've acted upon that have caused catastrophe in our relationships. Just because you can assume it doesn't make it real. Even just because you want it to be real doesn't make it real. And we are a people prone to believing whatever we want to believe. When an assumption is almost a creative power within us to fill in blanks and make a cohesive story that has a very important missing pieces that we made up so that it can make sense. And this isn't helpful. We remember the story of Jesus at Caesarea Philippi saying, “what are the assumptions about me? What are people saying about me?” And we remember the disciples saying, “they think you're John the Baptist rising from the dead.” That’s a…that's a false assumption, right? He wasn't John the Baptist raised from the dead or something…that you're one of the prophets of old. That was a false assumption. That's not who he was. Obviously, that story in the gospel is to lead us to the same question that He was asking, “who you say that I am?” But that it's ties in here because it's not “who do you assume that I am or who does everybody else say that I am, not make up an assumption or follow someone else's assumption. What is the truth of who you say that I am?” So, back to this story in Joshua. The assumption could've created something devastating. We need to remember that in our lives before we start trying to figure out things and filling in the blanks and forgetting that those are assumptions and not facts because otherwise we’re living a false reality, something we made up that could lead to something devastating.

Prayer:

Father we invite You into that. Our one point of truth is You. You are the way the truth and the life. When we are pursuing You with our hearts, we are pursuing the pathway of truth and the pathway of peace. When we’re frustrated or just making things up because it seems foggy out there and we need answers, and we start building assumptions then we’re being impatient and creating false realities. Help us Holy Spirit to be present to what is actually happening, to be present to the leading of Your Holy Spirit because You have promised You would lead us into all truth. So come Holy Spirit and lead us into all truth we pray. In the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

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And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Thank you, Brian, your family, and the team. Everyday Brian you say that you are very thankful and grateful to have us partnered with you to bring the word of God across the world. And yet for me I really think I want to be the one to say that I am very thankful, honored. And it's such a privilege to be part of a ministry that is impacting, influencing, blessing, touching, changing every tribe, tongue, and nation across this globe. It's…it's just…it’s amazing just to even have that thought that God's word is penetrating to these places that I can't even go to myself, but the word of God through this ministry and through this technology is going across and beyond borders. I'm so thankful for this. Proverbs 11:25 says a generous person will prosper. Whoever refreshes others will be refreshed. And I want to say that I am so refreshed that others are being refreshed. And, so, I want to extend this thanks in the same way that you have been extended your thanks. So, thank you so much. This is Ann from Arizona. By.

I just listened to April the 16th and I heard Jasmine who is a Canadian who is in Africa as a missionary and her husband David facing grace in Jesus. I just lift them up to You today. Wrap Your arms of love around them and sustain them. And I just ask for supernatural healing to flow over her husband's body, that You would heal him from this covid and this malaria and that You would sustain him and her daughters as their heir Lord for the Kingdom of God. Their Kingdom builders and I pray that You'd reward them for their service and that You would put a hedge of protection around them and keep out the fiery darts of the enemy. Make them strong Jesus. Help her to feel our prayers and our love and our care and our concern for You are the mighty God and Your hand is not short and there's nothing that You cannot do. I just left this precious family up to You Jesus and we’re trusting and hoping to hear a good report soon. We ask all these things in Your precious name. Amen.

Good morning family it's Mary Lynn from New Brunswick Canada and I'm calling this morning on Friday April the 17th or 16th I'm not sure for Jasmine. And Jasmine I want to pray for you. My husband's name is also Dennis and as you heard I'm also Canadian and I have two friends that are in Africa as missionaries as well. So, family just pray with me right now. Father I come before You Lord and I stand in agreement with Jasmine's request for her husband Dennis and his health. Father I ask Lord that Your hand of protection and healing would be upon Dennis right now Lord in the name of Jesus. Father these two people have given their lives at servants for You in this country far away from home. And Lord Your word tells us Lord that You are our healing. Your word tells us that You are our protection. Your word tells us that You're our stronghold and our…our savior. Father You are our everything. And Lord these people have given their lives in obedience to You, and they are looking to You to fulfill the promises that You have given them. So, Father just like it says in Genesis, “and the Lord said” and that is exactly what happened. Father we’re claiming that for Jasmine and Dennis, faith and grace. We ask Lord that every promise You have ever made to these two individuals for Your service that You would bring them to pass in this time. Give her peace, give her comfort, give her confidence in her savior Father. Help her to hold tightly to the hope that she has. And Father we just thank You. We thank You because it's done. Your word says and that is exactly what happened. So, we thank You Lord that You have been faithful to this couple. In Jesus’ name. Father, thank You. Jasmine we’re praying for you. Bye family.

Good morning Daily Audio Bible family this is John Opara recording from South Sudan Juba in South Sudan. It's been quite a while that I checked in. I have been traveling to the field to support our staff that are in the field within South Sudan. So, this has caused me to run behind but thankfully, thanks to God I have caught up now and this is why I am recording to just let everyone know I'm doing OK. I'm preparing to attend my daughter's wedding in the US. And I need your prayers because I need to first of all go to Nigeria to get my passport renewed and…and then go to US to attend the wedding in June. So, maybe I…I will call in from US when I get there. May God bless you. But I just want you to know and I…I hear all the things that are going on and the…the pain, the attack of the enemy upon the body of Christ and I want you to know that God remains the ultimate power. He is absolutely in control and will never fail you. Thank you. Bye-bye.

Hi Daily Audio Bible family this is Rebecca Joy from Illinois calling in. This is a few days late so I apologize for that, but I am calling in for Radiant Rachel and her niece Kaylee. I've heard the prayer request about how Kaylee's having some problems swallowing food and having a fear of it. And strangely enough out of everything that day that I have related too I related to that because when I was younger, I also had those kinds of irrational fears that I just didn't know where they came from but suddenly, I was afraid of things like thunderstorms and elevators and just odd things. But I wanted to call in hopefully giving some encouragement and let you know that I'm praying for Kaylee. I want her to know, if you would be so kind as to tell her, that having those fears, feeling those fears is OK but what's not OK is giving into them and letting them control your life. And, you know, I hope that she learns that lesson a lot sooner than I did because it took me quite a while. I'm 23 now almost 24 trying to still figure that out but hopefully she can get a head start. Yeah. I'm praying for you guys. Thanks for calling in and I hope to hear from you all soon.

[itsclydebitches]

I would really love to hear your thoughts on Yang's PTSD arc. I hope you don’t think it was handled well. I forgot their account, but someone pointed out about how Tai's joke and calling Yang's suffering moping was toxic as shit. That’s not even getting into her curing her PTSD by killing Adam. Like the racism, it was offensively handled. FNDM loved it, but only because they used PTSD as way to confirm a ship. It’s disgusting for both parties to see/use PTSD like that, this has caused suicides.

First, I think it’s worth acknowledging that such an arc was doomed from the get-go in terms of pleasing anyone. PTSD is an incredibly complex, varied disorder and thus one depiction seen as realistic to some viewers may come across as absurd to others, depending on their experience, knowledge, etc. Like writing a redemption arc, or a dealing with sexism arc, or a breakup arc, whatever, a PTSD arc encompasses too much of the human experience to boil down into one, “right” depiction. Some people will like it whereas others won’t; some people will think it’s realistically done while others won’t; some people will be able to connect with it on an emotional level and - again - others won’t. So when I criticize aspects know that it’s coming primarily from a place of “This didn’t work for me.” Not a claim that it can’t work for anyone. Different people need different types of stories. 

That being said, I’m only really a fan of the beginning of Yang’s arc. I think RT did a good job there: having her unable to get out of bed, rejecting Ruby (which was HUGE for Yang), not seeming to care that her little sister ran off, eventually managing to get herself dressed but not anything past watching TV, emotionally flinching away from the arm as a way to “fix” the situation, her firm acknowledgement that she has lost a piece of herself and things will never be the same... that was all compelling and, dare I say, realistic. Including, in my opinion, the arm comment from Tai. This is a perfect example of how different people need different things. Me? I’m Yang. At a certain point I want people to joke about the bad stuff in my life because 1. It helps normalize it, 2. It helps lighten the mood after nothing but Bad Times, and 3. I’m an emotionally constipated person who more comfortably receives affection via humor than heartfelt sentimentality. The important takeaway is that just because you would have been offended by Tai’s comment doesn’t mean everyone else would have... and the really important thing is that Yang wasn’t offended. She smiled. She laughed. She joked right back and we never saw that comment haunting her later, implying that the previous stuff was all just an act. That moment told us how well Tai knows his daughter and what she needs at this point in her recovery: to be treated like normal, someone who is teased and pushed and challenged, not a delicate victim who needs to be tip-toed around. This is also a great example of how the fandom will often ignore the canon in an effort to “prove” their headcanon/subjective reading. Because they want Tai to be the bad guy here they’re just going to conveniently ignore Yang’s response to his comment - the response that overtly tells us whether we should be offended on her behalf or not.  

So all that was well done. I’d even go so far as to say it was really well done. The problem is RT didn’t maintain it. Not that a character has to be in this depressive state indefinitely, just that things moved far too quickly after that and (as per RWBY’s usual) had no impact down the road. Meaning yeah, Yang’s hand shakes, but that doesn’t actually affect her performance in any way. She’s still able to spar playfully with Tai. Still able to punch out an asshole at the bar (a moment played mostly for comedy). Still takes out Raven’s goons easy-peasey. Is still willing to fight Raven herself - her long-lost mother - with barely a blink. Still participates in the Battle of Haven with, again, absolutely no difficulty. Indeed, as I’ve mentioned before, Yang removes her arm and goes after two maidens and a third, incredibly powerful fighter. Not only is that stupid for anyone on Team RWBYJNOR to do, it makes even less sense to give that moment to the one fighter who should currently be struggling to fight at all. 

The problem comes down to structure. RT front-loaded all of Yang’s difficulties, had her hit a moment where she’s “cured” (putting on the arm), and from then on any “proof” that she wasn’t cured was superficial. It had no impact on her or the plot. Conveniently, Yang’s two flashbacks - in the kitchen and in the Apathy barn - happen when there’s no danger. She’s safe with Tai and safe with Blake, meaning that her PTSD never has a negative impact on the group that Yang has to work through. She never freezes during a battle. She never struggles with whether she can even enter one. Indeed, when she’s faced with the very person who caused this all in the first place, she blasts through Adam with total confidence and control. After Volume Six I received a few anons/responses claiming that this is, in fact, realistic. That anyone with real (“real”) PTSD will struggle when they’re safe but be perfectly capable of pushing through the actual danger if needed. It’s something Steven Universe did much better in my opinion. Steven starts experiencing his most overt symptoms when his galactic war is over - something the show actively has him question and then explains - but the PTSD still has a massive personal impact on his life. I don’t agree that Yang should have been able to confidently blow through every battle like she did. Even if we all unanimously agree that it’s realistic (which, from what I’ve gathered, we don’t), this isn’t a documentary. It’s a crafted story and stories have expectations attached to them, one of which is that we’ll see the impact/outcome/resolution to problems in a way we often don’t in real life. That’s one of the reasons why they’re satisfying via being “unrealistic.” That aside though, even if RT really didn’t want the PTSD informing the plot in that way (what does the group do if Yang can’t fight at Haven?) they could have at least pulled a Steven Universe and had it change the dynamic of the group on a personal level. As it is, no one in the show acknowledges the strong connection between Yang’s PTSD and her current behavior. She’s always been hot-headed, but lately we’ve seen Yang making even more reckless choices (telling Robyn about Amity) and taking her anger out on others inappropriately (the bird conversation, screaming at Oscar, etc.) At no point does the story go, “Hey, you might be doing this because you’re still grappling with PTSD, but that doesn’t make it okay. We need to address this.” Rather, Yang’s PTSD has been forgotten and her behavior continually excused. To the extent that this volume multiple people told me it was absurd to think that Yang should struggle at all with Adam’s death. That’s the legacy her arc has left: such a shallow treatment of the issue that the ongoing nature of PTSD and killing your first person and having that person be the guy who cut off your arm is a combination of things that Yang is expected to just shrug off with a cocky smile. Because that’s mostly what RT has had her do. 

Again, there are expectations for stories. Another of which is that - in rejecting realism - a character need not (necessarily) be burdened by their mental health in the way someone would be in real life. I 100% get that RT wouldn’t want to write Yang out of the group as a fighter just in the name of telling a “realistic” story. I also 100% get that the audience doesn’t (again, necessarily) want to watch a character struggle with the same issue indefinitely, especially when the story’s in-world time doesn’t match up with real life time. If you decide Yang needs two years to start making significant progress with her PTSD, that’s going to take a whole slew of volumes considering we’ve had four covering just one year (at most). People don’t necessarily want eight years of RWBY content where it feels like Yang is static. So yes, there’s a balance to be struck between “This is what PTSD is actually like” and “This is what a fictional story needs.” On the whole though, I don’t think RT did a particularly good job striking that balance. They started strong, but weren’t able to maintain that quality. 

[sworn-unbeliever]

01 - Crux

((While the dialogue is all made up, this event is based off of a true story. This incident is also what inspired Teremy to take up tanking in the first place and is important to him. Since this event took place during ARR, I mentioned Flash instead of Total Eclipse for the gladiator. Hope it’s okay!))

wc: 1411

"What in the Twelve's name are you doing, gladiator? Thinking, even?!" the party's thaumaturge snapped. "Gather all the enemy's attention to yourself! Not just the one!"

The thaumaturge's words fell upon deaf ears. The party's gladiator continued his assault against the one lone pirate as though engaged in a one on one duel. The pirates snorted at the thaumaturge as he ran past the gladiator. "Pfft. Like ye fancy us mindless drones. The real threat ain't that tin can with the rusty scrotum. It'd be this lovely lass here! Wouldn't you agree, lads?"

Like in agreement, the gladiator turned around. "My wounds need healing!"

The party's conjurer, who stood a good distance away from the gladiator, widened her eyes. She clutched her staff, her breathing quickly escalating. Her eyes darted between not the gladiator's foe, but the other two he had yet to account for. "You... you seem as lively as ever--"

"Do your job or we shall all perish!"

The conjurer shut her eyes and whimpered. As much as she wanted to deny the gladiator, she had no choice. She squinted one eye, wincing, and raised a trembling free hand and staff into ready positions. As though she had waited until the gladiator's wounds had reached critical point before doing anything, knowing exactly what would happen if she did. But now she had no choice. She had to do something. She hunched over, her robes slashed, tattered, and stained in dark crimson, as a faint glow emitted from the end of her staff. An equally faint glow of energy fell upon the gladiator, refreshing his wounds.

And just like the conjurer expected, that one brief glimpse of a flash had brought the attention of the other two pirates. Not any from the gladiator. Her.

The other two pirates quickly turned their attention away from the tunneling gladiator and beelined towards the conjurer. Whimpering again, the girl clutched her staff and shut her eyes tightly to brace herself for the upcoming attack. "Please someone... anyone... make them go away..."

That attack never came.

Instead, she opened her eyes at the sound of a loud whump and thwack in front of her. When the conjurer looked up, she saw Teremy Itsubishi, the party's pugilist, standing over the unconscious bodies of the pirates that had tried to attack her.

"You all right?" Teremy asked.

The conjurer nodded. "Y-yes. Thank you."

Teremy nodded slightly and turned his head towards the gladiator. Now with the threat of three pirates down, the gladiator charged off towards the next set. Again, the gladiator engaged in a duel with the solo. And again, Teremy ran to the conjurer's aid. To the first foe, a grab. A quick chop to the arm to disable him. A short-ranged but powerful punch that sent the pirate sailing back and crashing into the ground, never to stand again. To the other foe, a back kick to send him flying to his comrade. By the time the gladiator had finished his duel with the Thaumaturge breathing fire out of his rod and mouth as a back-up, Teremy had already taken care of the threats that dared touch the conjurer.

"Flash! You should be aware of this technique by now!" the thaumaturge snapped. "Render the enemies blind and keep the attention to you!"

As though dignifying a response was more important than actually fighting enemies, the gladiator whirled around to face the thaumaturge. "It's the conjurer's fault for drawing the enemy's ire to herself!"

The conjurer bit her lip. She bowed her head and clutched her staff so tightly, it looked as though her hands would bleed along with her wounds. Though the thaumaturge spewed more obscenities towards the gladiator, Teremy had heard enough. The pugilist had spent the entire party protecting the conjurer, rather than the gladiator, who spend the entire party reliving his colisseum days. There to fight enemies. Prisoners. Single opponents. The more Teremy thought about the juxtaposition between what a gladiator should be versus what he had actually been hired to be: a sellsword to protect his allies, the more Teremy felt a raging fire deep within him. He clenched his fist. He couldn't take this gladiator's behaviour any longer. Teremy marched up to the gladiator, pushed on the gladiator's shoulder to whirl him around, and sent one good slug at the gladiator's jaw. If not for a well-crafted helmet, the gladiator would have fallen unconscious by the time he finished reeling over. Instead, a good fist-sized dent laid on the side of the helm where Teremy's fist had done its deed.

"I can't believe you. You're a gladiator!" Teremy cried. "Your guildmaster stressed the importance of protecting others! But you've made clear that since you've come in here, the only one you've cared to protect was yourself."

The gladiator pulled himself up and dusted himself off. He stood straight and glared down at the pugilist. Teremy folded his arms. He was not backing down. Not while he was knew he was right. Not while he had spent the entire party proving he was right. Finally, after what seemed like eternity, the gladiator spoke.

"Are you done?"

Teremy glowered. "No. We still have to clear our objective."

Without waiting for the gladiator to respond or even pull ahead, Teremy walked ahead of the party. If pirates or any kind of danger ran their way, he'd welcome them. Despite his lack of armor. Despite his ability to draw the ire of multiple to himself. The point of the matter was that the gladiator had been assigned to this party to protect everyone and he had failed to do so. Teremy was doing the gladiator's job for him. Whatever came their way, whatever the Gladiator had not paid personal attention to fell upon the conjurer. To which Teremy was ready. And not a single extra hand had laid been on the conjurer, not with Teremy's fists leaving any threat near-dead on arrival.

The party couldn't have found their objective fast enough: a set of maps that had been stolen by pirates. Once the thaumaturge stuffed the maps in his possession, the party turned tail and fled Satasha before any pirates intercepted them on the way out. For once since the party started, the gladiator took charge. Once out, the gladiator continued to run and fled, never to be seen again.

The thaumaturge shrugged. "Whatever in the nine hells that was--ah, forget it. Not worth any more of my energy. I'm handing these back to the client. I'll put in a good word for two-" he gestured to Teremy and the conjurer, "-and not that useless hunk of metal wherever he went. I'm out."

Magical energies gathered around the thaumaturge. Then, in the blink of an eye, he vanished.

Now Teremy stood alone with the conjurer. The pugilist found himself folding his arms and staring awkwardly at the conjurer's collarbone as he racked his brain to find anything to say. Should he ask how she was doing? Would that be patronizing? Congratulate her on getting out in one piece? Thankfully for Teremy's lack of social graces, the conjurer spoke first. She turned to him and bowed. "Thank you for protecting me back there."

Teremy stared at the conjurer and blinked. He hadn't been expecting to be thanked. He smiled a little and saluted. "Don't worry about it. Stay safe," he said and went his own way back to Limsa Lominsa. On foot. He could sure use some alone time after that experience.

***

Teremy's story of his Satasha incident could have ended there, but it didn't.

The moment he returned to Limsa Lominsa, he marched to the upper decks, eyes forward and focused. While his mind showed him images of his childhood - images of Teremy protecting merchants from bandits alongside his brother, images of Teremy shoving his brother out of Leviathan's way and getting swallowed up in his brother's stead, those thoughts served not as a distraction, but as reinforcement to his decision.

He had made up his mind. When he had arrived in Ul'dah, then came to Limsa Lominsa, Teremy had drifted aimlessly, not sure of his place in life. But that incident in Satasha had served as an epiphany. Now he knew exactly what he wanted to do.

"You want a job done right, do it yourself. If no one will protect the party, then I will," Teremy said to himself as he flung open the double doors to the Marauder's Guild.

[toseeornotosee]

Bombshell!

Plot! 

‘Bombshell’ tells the story of the downfall of Roger Ailes as the CEO of Fox News during the summer of 2016. When one of his anchors, Gretchen Carlson (played by Nicole Kidman) sues him for sexual harassment, it sets off a firestorm within the media and television worlds. When the film starts, you immediately hear Megyn Kelly’s (Charlize Theron) voice as it takes on the sort of ‘narrator’ of the film. You get a tour of the facility, a daily dive into what the office is like, and introduction of all the characters right off the bat. There’s a tear down of the 4th wall, as Theron talks directly to the camera and ‘breaks it all down’ for us. For a brief moment, it felt like the film might take a parody type of view to the story. Both Kidman and Robbie also talk to the audience directly in the film and also have their narrator cameo per se. However, those parts are quickly intertwined within the complexity of the story. As the plot thickens, tension rise, and situations become more intricate, everyone takes sides. There’s a rallying cry by some anchors to gather those to Ailes’ side. Whispers, forced smiles, and longer gazes overtake the office environment; everyone’s on high alert. It all comes to a halt when it’s noticeable that Fox News’ most prolific female anchor, Megyn Kelly, has said nothing in defense of her boss. Kelly’s silence itself speaks volume and others start noticing. It culminates when Kelly finally breaks her silence, thus sealing Ailes’ fate. 

Performance

Margot Robbie- Memorable and palpable. Margot Robbie portraying Kayla Pospisil stays seared into your mind. She’s the new girl trying to make it into the media world who doesn’t want to just be on tv, but rather wants to be on Fox. She fits the mold as the young, blonde bombshell (ha) with good looks and bold ambition. Throughout her character arc, Robbie evokes vulnerability when she’s harassed by Ailes, perfectly emotes the regret and stigma that comes afterwards, and the inner conflict that inarguably happens after said incident. She’s transformed from a sort of naive doe, to a woman who knows her worth in a male dominated business. 

Nicole Kidman- Kidman does a great job at portraying Gretchen Carlson. She comes off as a fighter, as someone who can play along, albeit begrudgingly, and a strategic, smart woman. She pushes boundaries at Fox for example by doing some shows without makeup and then by pushing against her viewers on gun control. She has convictions and regardless of who her boss is, she’ll stick to them. You can’t help but empathize with Kidman as Carlson. She’s trying to make her own way in a world that doesn't take kind to what she values and cherishes. Kelly’s confession may have led to the eventual fall of Ailes at Fox, but Carlson’s voice was the catalyst for such a thing to happen; the real bombshell.

Charlize Theron- Oscar worthy. From the voice, to the makeup and prosthetics, to the demeanor that Theron takes on, you’re actually looking at Megyn Kelly. It’s uncanny. From Theron’s portrayal as Kelly. you see an exposed lower profile celebrity who’s caught up in all the mess. She struggles internally to do the ‘right thing’ and the tension for her character reaches an all time high when people start questioning her loyalty to Ailes and Fox. From behind the scenes clips, to the Trump debate debacle, to more intimate moments with her family and husband, you see all sides of Theron as Kelly. There’s that Megyn Kelly stare that Theron captures perfectly and let’s it speak for itself in many scenes throughout the film. Again with Kate McKinnon’s character, you can’t help but root for her and empathize with her situation. Everything is at stake if she speaks up, and after Fox, what’s next? Is there a next? The internal struggle radiates off screen because of Theron’s performance. She achieves becoming Megyn Kelly and then some. Magnificent job, Charlize! 

John Lithgow/Kate McKinnon- Both of these actors give phenomenal performances in the supporting roles. John Lithgow as Roger Ailes comes off as conniving, vindictive, prone to outbursts, and just really sleazy. He’s a man with power, dominance, and name recognition that opens doors wherever he goes. Lithgow’s eerily deception and revenge lies in his eyes from scene to scene. He’s predatory in every consideration. In some regard, for those who have seen him portray Winston Churchill in “The Crown”, its very reminiscent of that. This portrayal of a very powerful man fighting for his domain. Even though Churchill and Ailes characters are polar opposites, Lithgow’s portrayal remains similar to both men. 

Kate McKinnon plays the token funny liberal lesbian at work who’s only working there because that’s where she got hired; and for that same reason why no one else will hire her, because she works at Fox. She’s endearing, humorous, and beautifully charming. Regardless of your political affiliations, you wanna root for her character, her job, and her success. Even though she has limited screen time, she absolutely stands out and that’s a testament to her craft. 

Poignant Moment(s)!

Here’s a few from the film. 

There’s an endearing screen between Kayla (Margot Robbie) and Jess (Kate McKinnon). The chemistry between them feels so natural and fun.

When Kayla’s in Roger’s office, whew...

When Gretchen Carlson’s bombshell of a suit goes public.

When Megyn and Kayla have a talk in Kayla’s cubicle. 

To see or not to see!

Definitely to see! It’s an important story that begs the audience to see the relevance of the power dynamics between men and women in the workplace. Plus, they all give phenomenal performances. 

[bronzeflower]

The Opposite of a Fake Relationship

Also on ao3

Chapter 1: The “Introduction”

-----

“The Flying Pigs commissioned me for a few major renovations to their headquarters. Looks like I’m gonna be seeing a lot more of you at work,” Victor informed. “Which means you’re gonna be all serious and authority-like.”

“I have a reputation to keep,” Arlo insisted, and Victor giggled and squished Arlo’s cheeks.

“Yeah, but the moment you look at me, you go all soft and adorable,” Victor’s point was proven immediately by Arlo looking at him with utter adoration. “Everyone’s gonna know we’re married the moment they see us together in any capacity.”

“They have more important things to worry about than my marital status.”

“Sure they do.” Victor gave Arlo a quick kiss. “I’ll see you later today if everything goes well. Make sure the kids get to school safe and on time.”

“Like they’d allow for us to be late by even a minute,” Arlo joked. “Remi has started to a big stickler about what time they actually arrive at school. She said, and I quote, ‘They have to be there at 7:40 at the latest otherwise they’ll die.’”

“She’s always been dramatic.”

“Dad! We’re going to be late!” Remi yelled. “Let’s go! Let’s go! Let’s go!”

“I’m coming!” Arlo responded. “Bye, darling.”

“Bye, bye,” Victor kissed Arlo again, and he smiled as he heard Sam complain about how school started at 8:00, so there was no way they were going to be late, with Remi reminding him that death would imminent if they were, so it was always best to be early to avoid even the possibility.

Victor didn’t know where Remi got the idea that she and her brother would die if they were even a minute late to school, but it got them out of bed in the morning, so he supposed it was an improvement on Remi and Sam refusing to even acknowledge the world when it was early.

After waving off his husband and kids, it was time for Victor to get to work. This was a big commission, and there were a lot of materials to gather.

Of course, the Flying Pigs would never dumb down on defense, so Victor ended up feeling like he was gathering materials for making reinforcements rather than an entire expansion to the building.

It took about a week for Victor to gather and craft all the materials he needed, even with the materials he already had, but he had finally done it, and, for that, he was glad.

Now, all that was left was bringing the materials over to the Flying Pigs to get started on the expansion.

Victor was giddy, excited to build and excited to see his husband at his workplace.

But, of course, Victor had to get through security first, which was stringent for good reason. Regardless, Victor managed to get in, and someone showed up to bring him to where he was building the expansion.

His name was Barin, and he was weirdly nervous, but he was generally friendly and pointed out things and people they came across.

“Th-that over there is Arlo,” Barin pointed towards where Arlo was training with other Flying Pigs members. “You’ve probably he-heard of him. He’s one of the strongest folks over, over here.”

“So are you going to introduce me?” Victor asked kind of as a joke, but Barin frantically nodded and awkwardly tried to get Arlo’s attention.

“Arlo, e-excuse me,” Barin had his arms out slightly, as if warding off anything that would try and hurt him.

A girl with long black hair that was set in a ponytail looked up from her stretches to glare towards Barin before turning her head towards Arlo.

“Arlo!” She barked. “There’s some new kid in here!”

Arlo looked over, and Victor grinned at him, waving hello.

“Y-yes, this is the builder who’s g-going to be working on the new expansion,” Barin explained. “So-sorry, I forgot your name. What was it again?”

“Victor! Victor of the Victory Workshop. It’s good to meet you,” Victor threw Arlo a wink, and he didn’t miss the way Arlo’s mouth turned up slightly.

“Arlo, member of the Flying Pigs.”

Victor and Arlo shook hands, and Victor gave Arlo a challenging grin.

“Barin over here was telling me how you were one of the strongest folks in this joint. Care to demonstrate?”

Barin looked absolutely mortified while the girl with the long ponytail let out a loud laugh.

“I like this kid! Name’s Aureall. Good to meet you.”

“I’ve got a least a decade on you, Aureall,” Victor pointed out, but Aureall didn’t really seem to care, so he focused his attention back on Arlo. “So, what do you say? How’s a sparring match between men?”

“Don’t you have an expansion to build?” Arlo said in what probably sounded like his usual serious voice to others, but Victor could detect the hint of amusement in there.

“Just one sparring match. One minute. No weapons,” Victor laid out their typical sparring rules. “I’ve got the time.”

“Are you sure? I don’t hold back, and I wouldn’t want to leave you incapable of doing your job,” Arlo teased, and Victor found himself laughing.

“Lucky for you, I don’t hold back either,” Victor got into a subtle fighting stance. “I’d be offended if you did.”

“A-Arlo! Pl-please don’t spar him!” Barin begged. “He’s just a builder-I-I doubt he can go up against you without getting hurt!”

“If you’re worried, I can spar you first,” Victor suggested. “I think you’re a lot stronger than you let on.”

“No sparring!” Barin demanded, and Aureall protested.

“I wanna see Arlo kick some nobody’s butt.”

“Don’t assume someone’s strength before you fight them,” Arlo advised. “That’s a good way to lose.”

“Does that mean you’ll accept?”

“Don’t hold back,” Arlo got into a fighting stance, and Victor’s grin turned manic.

“Like I’d ever.”

Victor was very familiar with Arlo’s moveset, and he wondered if it was obvious from watching them spar that he knew exactly when to move to avoid getting hit and where exactly to aim for to do the most damage.

Of course, the same could be said for Arlo, and it was a hard battle full of blocking and dodging and landing hits. Victor was pretty sure Arlo was trying even harder than usual in an attempt to look good in front of his coworkers.

However, in the end, Victor was merciless and managed to be victorious.

“Thanks for the sparring match!” Victor declared. “Maybe we could do a rematch sometime, but I’ve got work to do now. Hey, Barin, show me the rest of the way.”

Victor left, and Arlo couldn’t help but watch him as he left the area. It felt a little weird to say goodbye without exchanging at least one kiss, if not more, but, then again, this place wasn’t exactly the most appropriate area for PDA.

“Wow, in love already?” Aureall teased. “Didn’t strike you as a man who believed in love at first sight.”

“I don’t,” Arlo shook his head.

“That was an impressive battle,” Helene spoke up. “I kind of want to spar him myself now…”

“Me too!” Aureall agreed. “Next time he rears his head around here, I’m gonna beat him up so hard!”

“You sound like a school bully,” Helene said. “And besides, what makes you think that you can beat him? Even Arlo lost against him.”

“He only sparred Arlo!” Aureall claimed. “And weren’t you considering sparring him too? Why get into a fight that you’re so sure you’ll lose?”

“He had an interesting fighting style. I want to see it up close.”

“Why don’t you stop talking about him and get back to training?” Arlo interrupted, back to being serious.

“What, jealous?” Aureall joked, but she and Helene got back to work after a glare from Arlo.

Arlo and Victor talked about what happened that day when Arlo got back from work.

“We should probably tell them that we’re married,” Arlo suggested.

“But, consider this, it’s hilarious to make them think we’ve never met before,” Victor countered with a grin. “And it’s not like it’s interfering with anything.”

“I won’t deny that it’s amusing, but it is a little on the unethical side.”

“We can always just say that we wanted to stay professional in the workplace,” Victor pointed out. “You know, for when people do find out. But I wanna see how long it takes people to do so in the first place.”

“I guess it would be a good lesson in observation,” Arlo reasoned. “Alright. So what’s the plan?”

“We interact with each other relatively normally, with the exception that we will be keeping everything workplace appropriate.”

“Sparring me wasn’t exactly workplace appropriate.”

“Of course it is! It’s the Flying Pigs!”

“Aureall and Helene really want to spar you now,” Arlo mentioned, and Victor smiled.

“Tell them I’ll spar with them next time I see them. It’ll be on sight.”

“You should give them more warning than that.”

“Maybe, especially if we wanna keep up the idea that we don’t know each other outside of work.”

“Aureall already thinks that it was love at first sight.”

“Oh my god, that’s so funny,” Victor laughed. “But not that too far off. We pretty much got married as soon as we had the downtime. And now we’ve been married for, what? Almost ten years?”

“I think I lost count after the fifth year.”

“Honestly, me too,” Victor nodded. “But I don’t think I’ll ever forget how I fell for you.”

“Yeah, and how did you fall for me?” Arlo asked even though he almost certainly knew.

“When you asked me to join you in training for the Flying Pigs and had me run all around Portia for a week,” Victor started. “And you told me about your dream of joining the Flying Pigs, and that’s when I fell for you.”

“Liar,” Arlo poked Victor, and he laughed.

“You’re right, I fell for you when we were eating at the Round Table, and I made you laugh so hard that milk came out of your nose.”

“Maybe it’s a good thing we’re keeping our relationship from the Flying Pigs. You have to avoid telling that story to everyone you meet.”

“Oh my god, you’re right. Now I can’t decide what’s better - fooling everyone into thinking we’ve never met before or embarrassing the hell out of you with terrible stories. Whatever shall I do?”

“You can wait until people figure out we’re married.”

“You’re a genius, and I love you.”

“Love you too, darling.”

“Dad! I’m hungry!” Sam came clamoring in just as Arlo was leaning down for a kiss. “Ew. You’re being gross.”

Sam stuck his tongue out, and Victor let out a soft laugh as he pulled away from Arlo.

“Well, my dear and beloved child, what would you like for dinner?” Victor asked. “We’ve got the ingredients for seafood noodles or for bamboo papaya and seafood with rice.”

“Hmm,” Sam thought very seriously. “Noodles. Oh! And can we have some stewed mushrooms?”

“Of course!” Victor responded. “Would you like to help me prepare our meal? And ask your sister if she’d like to help as well.”

Sam nodded and left to go inform Remi of how it was time to start making dinner.

“Alright, babe, the children demand sacrifice, so I’ve got to go.”

“When are you gonna stop calling dinner sacrifice?”

“Never.”

Victor swept at Arlo’s leg to knock him slightly off balance and kissed him once Arlo was low enough.

“I regret you becoming friends with Sam and Remington,” Arlo stated when the kiss was over.

“They’re your friends too,” Victor responded. “But, anyway, the children are hungry, and they’ve got to eat, and so do we.”

“I’ll join you in cooking this time,” Arlo offered, and Victor smiled.

“Sure, we’ll have the whole family cooking together. Make sure Remi uses the knife safely. I’m gonna put Sam on stewing duty.”

Cooking dinner was generally chaotic, with Sam getting impatient often with waiting for the food to cook, Remi generally not have a great idea of knife safety, and Arlo simply not being all that great of a cook, but, in the end, they made something delicious, and they had a lovely dinner together.

[cover2covermom]

Today I’m going to be sharing my favorite books that I’ve read in 2020 thus far…

» The Ruins of Gorlan (Ranger’s Apprentice #1) by John Flanagan

Genre: YA fantasy

They have always scared him in the past — the Rangers, with their dark cloaks and shadowy ways. The villagers believe the Rangers practice magic that makes them invisible to ordinary people. And now 15-year-old Will, always small for his age, has been chosen as a Ranger’s apprentice. What he doesn’t yet realize is that the Rangers are the protectors of the kingdom. Highly trained in the skills of battle and surveillance, they fight the battles before the battles reach the people. And as Will is about to learn, there is a large battle brewing. The exiled Morgarath, Lord of the Mountains of Rain and Night, is gathering his forces for an attack on the kingdom. This time, he will not be denied….

My mother-in-law actually recommended this book for my son.  After reading it for myself, I agree that this book would definitely appeal to boys.  There are some wonderful themes like hard work, courage, friendship, etc.  I would also consider this a wonderful gateway book into fantasy.

» Black Enough: Stories of Being Young & Black in American by Ibi Zoboi

Genre: YA contemporary ((anthology))

Black Enough is a star-studded anthology edited by National Book Award finalist Ibi Zoboi that will delve into the closeted thoughts, hidden experiences, and daily struggles of black teens across the country. From a spectrum of backgrounds—urban and rural, wealthy and poor, mixed race, immigrants, and more—Black Enough showcases diversity within diversity.

Whether it’s New York Times bestselling author Jason Reynolds writing about #blackboyjoy or Newbery Honor-winning author Renee Watson talking about black girls at camp in Portland, or emerging author Jay Coles’s story about two cowboys kissing in the south—Black Enough is an essential collection full of captivating coming-of-age stories about what it’s like to be young and black in America.

Black Enough was a game changer for me.  I don’t tend to read anthologies because I find that I tend to struggle to connect to short stories, but I loved this collection!  What an excellent book to incorporate during #BlackHistoryMonth in February!

» Girls Like Us by Randi Pink

Genre: YA historical fiction

Set in the summer of 1972, this moving YA historical novel is narrated by teen girls from different backgrounds with one thing in common: Each girl is dealing with pregnancy. Four teenage girls. Four different stories. What they all have in common is that they’re dealing with unplanned pregnancies.

In rural Georgia, Izella is wise beyond her years, but burdened with the responsibility of her older sister, Ola, who has found out she’s pregnant. Their young neighbor, Missippi, is also pregnant, but doesn’t fully understand the extent of her predicament. When her father sends her to Chicago to give birth, she meets the final narrator, Susan, who is white and the daughter of an anti-choice senator.

Randi Pink masterfully weaves four lives into a larger story – as timely as ever – about a woman’s right to choose her future.

Wow!  A book about teen pregnancy set in the 70s?  Yes!  I flew through this book.  I was very invested in this story & the characters.

» Awkward (Berrybrook Middle School #1) & Crush (Berrybrook Middle School #3) by Svetlana Chmakova

Genre: MG contemporary ((graphic novels))

I’ve adored each graphic novel in this series.  Chmakova captures the essence of middle school perfectly.  She also does a wonderful job giving us a diverse cast of characters, and tackling relevant topics.

» On the Come Up by Angie Thomas

Genre: YA contemporary

Sixteen-year-old Bri wants to be one of the greatest rappers of all time. Or at least make it out of her neighborhood one day. As the daughter of an underground rap legend who died before he hit big, Bri’s got big shoes to fill. But now that her mom has unexpectedly lost her job, food banks and shutoff notices are as much a part of Bri’s life as beats and rhymes. With bills piling up and homelessness staring her family down, Bri no longer just wants to make it—she has to make it.

On the Come Up is Angie Thomas’s homage to hip-hop, the art that sparked her passion for storytelling and continues to inspire her to this day. It is the story of fighting for your dreams, even as the odds are stacked against you; of the struggle to become who you are and not who everyone expects you to be; and of the desperate realities of poor and working-class black families.

While this didn’t necessarily have as much as an impact on me as The Hate U Give, this book was amazing in its own right.  I think Angie Thomas has a brilliant way of writing YA contemporary that is not only relevant & important, but also entertaining at the same time.

» The Language of Thorns by Leigh Bardugo

Genre: YA fantasy

Love speaks in flowers. Truth requires thorns.

Travel to a world of dark bargains struck by moonlight, of haunted towns and hungry woods, of talking beasts and gingerbread golems, where a young mermaid’s voice can summon deadly storms and where a river might do a lovestruck boy’s bidding but only for a terrible price.

Inspired by myth, fairy tale, and folklore, #1 New York Times–bestselling author Leigh Bardugo has crafted a deliciously atmospheric collection of short stories filled with betrayals, revenge, sacrifice, and love.

Perfect for new readers and dedicated fans, these tales will transport you to lands both familiar and strange—to a fully realized world of dangerous magic that millions have visited through the novels of the Grishaverse.

This collection of six stories includes three brand-new tales, all of them lavishly illustrated with art that changes with each turn of the page, culminating in six stunning full-spread illustrations as rich in detail as the stories themselves.

  A collection of deliciously dark short stories are inspired by classic fairytales & folklore.  I LOVED these stories!  They gave me Neil Gaiman vibes, so if you are a NG fan, I’d recommend these stories to you.  I also adored the illustrations throughout that really enhanced the story.

» Far From the Tree by Robin Benway

Genre: YA contemporary

Being the middle child has its ups and downs.

But for Grace, an only child who was adopted at birth, discovering that she is a middle child is a different ride altogether. After putting her own baby up for adoption, she goes looking for her biological family, including—

Maya, her loudmouthed younger bio sister, who has a lot to say about their newfound family ties. Having grown up the snarky brunette in a house full of chipper redheads, she’s quick to search for traces of herself among these not-quite-strangers. And when her adopted family’s long-buried problems begin to explode to the surface, Maya can’t help but wonder where exactly it is that she belongs.

And Joaquin, their stoic older bio brother, who has no interest in bonding over their shared biological mother. After seventeen years in the foster care system, he’s learned that there are no heroes, and secrets and fears are best kept close to the vest, where they can’t hurt anyone but him.

Far From the Tree is a beautiful YA contemporary about adoption, family, identity, and love.  Told in 3 different perspectives, I enjoyed the journey & development of each of these characters.

» Keeper of Lost Cities (Keeper of the Lost Cities #1), Exile (Keeper of the Lost Cities #2), & Everblaze (Keeper of the Lost Cities #3) by Shannon Messenger

Genre: MG fantasy

Twelve-year-old Sophie Foster has a secret. She’s a Telepath—someone who hears the thoughts of everyone around her. It’s a talent she’s never known how to explain.

Everything changes the day she meets Fitz, a mysterious boy who appears out of nowhere and also reads minds. She discovers there’s a place she does belong, and that staying with her family will place her in grave danger. In the blink of an eye, Sophie is forced to leave behind everything and start a new life in a place that is vastly different from anything she has ever known.

Sophie has new rules to learn and new skills to master, and not everyone is thrilled that she has come “home.” There are secrets buried deep in Sophie’s memory—secrets about who she really is and why she was hidden among humans—that other people desperately want. Would even kill for.

In this page-turning debut, Shannon Messenger creates a riveting story where one girl must figure out why she is the key to her brand-new world, before the wrong person finds the answer first.

I am LOVING this MG fantasy series.  While these books are a bit chunky, don’t let the page count deter you.  I fly through these books.   I’d recommend this series to fans of Harry Potter.

» SHOUT by Laurie Halse Anderson

Genre: YA memoir ((told in verse))

A searing poetic memoir and call to action from the bestselling and award-winning author of Speak, Laurie Halse Anderson!

Bestselling author Laurie Halse Anderson is known for the unflinching way she writes about, and advocates for, survivors of sexual assault. Now, inspired by her fans and enraged by how little in our culture has changed since her groundbreaking novel Speak was first published twenty years ago, she has written a poetry memoir that is as vulnerable as it is rallying, as timely as it is timeless. In free verse, Anderson shares reflections, rants, and calls to action woven between deeply personal stories from her life that she’s never written about before. Searing and soul-searching, this important memoir is a denouncement of our society’s failures and a love letter to all the people with the courage to say #metoo and #timesup, whether aloud, online, or only in their own hearts. Shout speaks truth to power in a loud, clear voice– and once you hear it, it is impossible to ignore.

This is a must read for fans of Laurie Halse Anderson’s Speak.  While you don’t HAVE to read Speak to read SHOUT, I feel like it makes a bigger impact if you read Speak prior to this.  If you didn’t know, SHOUT is Anderson’s memoir told in verse.

» Loveboat, Taipei (Loveboat, Taipei #1) by Abigail Hing Wen

Genre: YA contemporary

When eighteen-year-old Ever Wong’s parents send her from Ohio to Taiwan to study Mandarin for the summer, she finds herself thrust among the very over-achieving kids her parents have always wanted her to be, including Rick Woo, the Yale-bound prodigy profiled in the Chinese newspapers since they were nine—and her parents’ yardstick for her never-measuring-up life.

Unbeknownst to her parents, however, the program is actually an infamous teen meet-market nicknamed Loveboat, where the kids are more into clubbing than calligraphy and drinking snake-blood sake than touring sacred shrines.

Free for the first time, Ever sets out to break all her parents’ uber-strict rules—but how far can she go before she breaks her own heart?

  This is a guilty pleasure type of read.  Actually, it reminded me a bit of Crazy Rich Asians a bit.  It is a tad racy for a YA book… So I’d probably recommend for older YA readers that are 16+

» The Penderwicks (The Penderwicks #1) by Jeanne Birdsall

Genre: MG contemporary

The Penderwick sisters busily discover the summertime magic of Arundel estate’s sprawling gardens, treasure-filled attic, tame rabbits, and the cook who makes the best gingerbread in Massachusetts. Best of all is Jeffrey Tifton, son of Arundel’s owner, the perfect companion for their adventures. Icy-hearted Mrs. Tifton is less pleased with the Penderwicks than Jeffrey, and warns the new friends to stay out of trouble. Is that any fun? For sure the summer will be unforgettable.

This is the perfect book to pick up during the summer months.  It really gave me modern Little Women crossed with The Secret Garden vibes.  The ending was so heartwarming it almost brought me to tears.

» Becoming by Michelle Obama

Genre: Adult memoir

In a life filled with meaning and accomplishment, Michelle Obama has emerged as one of the most iconic and compelling women of our era. As First Lady of the United States of America—the first African American to serve in that role—she helped create the most welcoming and inclusive White House in history, while also establishing herself as a powerful advocate for women and girls in the U.S. and around the world, dramatically changing the ways that families pursue healthier and more active lives, and standing with her husband as he led America through some of its most harrowing moments. Along the way, she showed us a few dance moves, crushed Carpool Karaoke, and raised two down-to-earth daughters under an unforgiving media glare.

In her memoir, a work of deep reflection and mesmerizing storytelling, Michelle Obama invites readers into her world, chronicling the experiences that have shaped her—from her childhood on the South Side of Chicago to her years as an executive balancing the demands of motherhood and work, to her time spent at the world’s most famous address. With unerring honesty and lively wit, she describes her triumphs and her disappointments, both public and private, telling her full story as she has lived it—in her own words and on her own terms. Warm, wise, and revelatory, Becoming is the deeply personal reckoning of a woman of soul and substance who has steadily defied expectations—and whose story inspires us to do the same.

  Despite the fact that this memoir is LONG, I was interested from start to finish.  I adore Michelle Obama and find her so inspiring.

» The Stonekeeper’s Curse (Amulet #2) & The Cloud Searchers (Amulet #3) by Kazu Kibuishi

Genre: MG fantasy ((graphic novel))

I enjoyed these subsequent installments even more than the first!  The art style is absolutely stunning and I really enjoyed the story line.  I can really see this as a TV series or movie.

» Clap When You Land by Elizabeth Acevedo

Genre: YA contemporary

Camino Rios lives for the summers when her father visits her in the Dominican Republic. But this time, on the day when his plane is supposed to land, Camino arrives at the airport to see crowds of crying people…

In New York City, Yahaira Rios is called to the principal’s office, where her mother is waiting to tell her that her father, her hero, has died in a plane crash.

Separated by distance – and Papi’s secrets – the two girls are forced to face a new reality in which their father is dead and their lives are forever altered. And then, when it seems like they’ve lost everything of their father, they learn of each other.

Papi’s death uncovers all the painful truths he kept hidden, and the love he divided across an ocean. And now, Camino and Yahaira are both left to grapple with what this new sister means to them, and what it will now take to keep their dreams alive.

In a dual narrative novel in verse that brims with both grief and love, award-winning and bestselling author Elizabeth Acevedo writes about the devastation of loss, the difficulty of forgiveness, and the bittersweet bonds that shape our lives.

Another 5-star read from Elizabeth Acevedo! Clap When You Land is a heart-wrenching book in verse about loss, betrayal, and forgiveness.

» All Boys Aren’t Blue by George M. Johnson

Genre: YA memoir

In a series of personal essays, prominent journalist and LGBTQIA+ activist George M. Johnson explores his childhood, adolescence, and college years in New Jersey and Virginia. From the memories of getting his teeth kicked out by bullies at age five, to flea marketing with his loving grandmother, to his first sexual relationships, this young-adult memoir weaves together the trials and triumphs faced by Black queer boys.

Both a primer for teens eager to be allies as well as a reassuring testimony for young queer men of color, All Boys Aren’t Blue covers topics such as gender identity, toxic masculinity, brotherhood, family, structural marginalization, consent, and Black joy. Johnson’s emotionally frank style of writing will appeal directly to young adults.

Johnson shares his experiences growing up as a queer black boy in this powerful memoir.  I love that Johnson wrote his story for the teen audience.  This is a must read!

What are some of your favorite books of 2020 thus far?

Have you read any of my favorites?  If so, what did you think?

Comment below & let me know 🙂

Favorite Books of 2020 (January - June) #BookBlogger #Books #Reading #Bookworm #BookNerd #BookTalk Today I'm going to be sharing my favorite books that I've read in 2020 thus far...

[laceymorganwrites]

Rag Doll

Word Count: 3,705

Pairing: Akutagawa x reader

Warnings: swearing i guess

A/N: i love this edgy Boy, don´t think i wrote him well tho...

(Y/E/O/N) = your enemy´s organization´s name

The headquarters of the Port Mafia illuminated the city of Yokohama, keeping control over it in its central location. Being an organization of this size and importance could be stressful at times, especially if certain members were to go on their own all the time. But in the end they fulfilled their missions and kept everything how it should be. Missions could be tiring however and even the Port Mafia needed to rest and relax sometimes.

If one were to turn in a little corner by the train station, they were to encounter a certain bar, the Rag Doll. It wasn´t just an ordinary bar, oh no, it was the base of an underground information gathering organization that had close ties to the Mafia and worked together with the major organization.

The organization was led by none other than (Y/N) (Y/L/N). Being a former soldier and spy for several organizations you were sick of following orders and fighting for a cause you didn´t believe in.

It did have its perks working in a bar visited by infamous criminals who were dependent on you, such as gossip and protection.

Oh and the poor souls who entered the bar on this very night…

“Could you spare some chlorine?” Dazai asked with gleaming eyes, making you roll your eyes.

“Didn´t you want to die without being a burden to anyone? What kind of image would my bar have if people heard I served chlorine? I have normal costumers too, believe it or not” you scolded the brunet, crossing your arms and shaking your head. Dazai squinted his eyes. “You´re not making this easy for me...” he mumbled.

“People like you don´t deserve an easy death, that´d be quite anticlimactic now, wouldn´t it?” you giggled, having known Dazai quite a while throughout your carrier of changing carriers so often.

Dazai smirked. “I guess you´re right...” he gave in and you placed a glass of whiskey before him.

He stared at it lost in his thoughts while you served the other costumers, meanwhile learning new info on several enemy organizations from your colleagues. “(Y/E/O/N), huh? They´ve been a pain for quite a while now actually...” you thought out loud.

As you stepped in front of Dazai again, his face lit up. “So you´ve been having trouble with them too?” he asked, a suggestive undertone in his voice. You rolled your eyes but couldn´t help but smile. “Wanna team up?” you finally asked… but didn´t get the reaction you anticipated.

“Maybe you can teach my subordinate how not to be a complete failure” he chuckled.

Your happy expression changed into a stone cold one. “He´s just a kid, Dazai” you said through gritted teeth. “He´s not that much younger than me, you know? And yet… he´s just too… unstable” he said in a disgusted voice, it enraged you. “As if you´re one to talk about mental stability! He´s from the slums, you have to understand how hard it must be for him… but instead you just had to make him a perfect weapon, a soldier… you disgust me, Dazai” maybe Akutagawa´s situation made you this emotional because he reminded you of himself, ripped out of a shitty environment, forced to work in a worse one. He didn´t have a chance to choose, he didn´t even have a say in it. You sure pitied the kid. “Do you know how dangerous he would be with an ability like this if I didn´t raise him right? He´s far too uncontrolled with his ability to let him out of my sight” Dazai defended himself, but you weren´t going to give in that easily. “Don´t give me that crap, Dazai! If you would actually have some decency and kindness, hell patience would be enough! If you keep treating him like you do, he´s gonna grow up feeling like a worthless piece of shit. You know, I´m really asking myself why you saved him when you couldn´t care less. People like you shouldn´t be put in charge of people like him!” you glared at him. Dazai just tilted his head, chuckling.

“You seem to care very much about him” he noticed.

You started cleaning the counter, grunting at his comment. “Maybe it´s just because unlike you I´m a decent fucking person” you grumbled.

“I doubt that...you´re a master at your craft after all, and that is deceiving people. But I have to give it to you, nobody does it quite like you” he sighed dreamily.

You clenched your jaw and stared him down. “Why thank you” you chuckled bitterly.

He knew damn well why you did the things you did, it was out of the need for money and because you were forced, to be fair you did it because you liked it now but that was a different story.

Dazai stared at you for a while with an amused expression on his face while you still held your cold one. “Well, that was a fun night. I´ll see you tomorrow” Dazai put down the money for the drink on the counter and left the bar, leaving you with a headache.

When you arrived to work in the next morning Dazai and Akutagawa were already there.

“Good morning, (Y/N)” Dazai smiled at you, but you didn´t respond. Instead you checked in on your coworkers and caught up on the information needed for the mission.

“As you all should know by now, today is the day we raid (Y/E/O/N)´s base and attack them! We will crush them, I don´t accept failure today. This is too important. Alright everybody, commence your positions and don´t die on me, we´re already short staffed. Good luck, guys, see you in the evening” you gave a little pep talk and were about to get ready for your part of the job as well.

That was when you remembered Dazai and his subordinate were still there. “You´re still here? Don´t you have your own plan on taking them out? Starting a massacre or something?” you teased to which Dazai scoffed.

“I wish you were wrong… most of us follow the plan you assigned to us, but we do have our little troublemakers” he shot a glare at Akutagawa who clenched his jaw.

“Okay then, why are you still sitting around here? Don´t you have something useful to do? Come on, Dazai, you must have planned some wicked scheme” you placed your hand on his shoulder. He just chuckled. “Maybe I do… but more importantly, could you take care of my subordinate today. I can´t risk him screwing up again” he muttered, making you frown.

“Don´t give them any trouble and follow their orders, do you understand?” Dazai turned to Akutagawa. He nodded, still not looking up.

You sighed. “I´m getting dressed, Dazai, explain the plan to him, I´ll be right back” you rushed into the backroom and put on the clothes you picked out for the mission.

(Y/E/O/N) was known for holding illegal auctions and you planned on infiltrating one and destroying them from the inside.

After you joined them again, Dazai left you alone.

“It´s nice to finally meet you, Akutagawa” you told him. “I heard very much about you. And before we begin I need you to know that you´re not a failure. I know that we will succeed. You just have to trust in your own strength, because others won´t always be there to do so” you said, but didn´t get any reaction out of him.

“The weak don´t have a right to live” he replied like a mantra.

You frowned, slowly placing a hand on his shoulder. He shuddered at the contact but let your hand remain.

“But you´re not weak…” you reassured him.

His eye twitched at your words but you paid it no mind.

He irritated you, of course you got why he would have such a mindset, growing up in his environment it was only natural. But being saved from such circumstances one ought to be utterly traumatized, grateful to their savior. Normally such Darwinism should vanish from his thoughts, so why was it that he still strove to be the strongest? As if he wasn´t worth being alive otherwise.

Dazai must´ve fucked him up worse than the slums, you thought.

“You´re under no obligation to prove anything to anyone” you told him in all honesty.

“I know. Let´s finish the mission” he said through clenched teeth, apparently you hit a nerve.

In silence you walked to the location and infiltrated it successfully.

“Secure the entrances, make sure nobody can leave. There´s gonna be a massacre here shortly, it would be a shame if anybody missed it” you smirked, distracting people while Akutagawa imprisoned the people.

“Now that was easy, let´s get to the fun part, shall we?” you smiled and started slicing people up with the knives hidden in your clothes.

Akutagawa joined you with his Rashomon and you finished the mission in short time.

Your colleagues would clean up later.

You had a few hours before you had to head back to work so you went home to relax a bit. Akutagawa was gone before you could even say goodbye.

Somehow you felt as if you screwed up, you´d never get to know him now.

But who could blame him? The act of surviving that was his life so far couldn´t be called living, he merely existed, it was easier with thick walls all around him. It was easier if he didn´t let anybody in.

Hell, it even made sense, so why were you so glum about it?

Why was it that you cared so much about him? Why did you want to understand him so badly? You never wanted to be the person to fix other people and force them to face their problems but why did you feel like that was who you were right now?

In the course of the next weeks you ran into Dazai and Akutagawa multiple times, the Mafia and your organization worked close together very often nowadays.

Akutagawa still was distant towards you, not even looking at you while doing missions together.

Your current target was Mimic, Dazai and his friends were involved very closely.

After researching their base and handing the information over to the Mafia you considered your job done and in the evening you wandered through the city, not feeling tired at all.

Something was keeping you awake.

Well, you still couldn´t wrap your head around Akutagawa, but that was silly.

You walked to your favorite spot in the hills where you had a beautiful view of the city.

Sighing you sat down on the bench and stared at the city lights that gleamed in the night sky.

“Dazai-san partnered us up for the mission tomorrow” you didn´t even hear him coming.

Staying in your position, now forcing yourself to look straight ahead and not at him, you nodded.

“Beautiful, isn´t it?” you mumbled, talking about the view.

Akutagawa nodded, thinking about you.

“Dazai must really hate you, huh?” you chuckled, finally looking up to him with sad eyes.

He frowned. “Why?” he asked, stalking closer to you, eventually sitting next to you on the bench.

“Come on, every time we have a mission, we get paired up. Because Dazai´s twisted like that, you know?” you shook your head.

Dazai was another person you couldn´t wrap your head around. Were you friends? Were you enemies? Something in between?

“So that´s how you see it…” he mumbled.

“Dazai´s so sadistic, everyone can see you hate my guts, but no he just has to have us work together. I don´t know what he promises himself from that, but it´s Dazai, you never know with him” you thought out loud.

“If you say so…” Akutagawa said in an annoyed tone.

“Why are you even here? I mean, I could´ve found out we were paired up again by myself tomorrow, there was no need for you to tell me in person like this.” you thought out loud.

“I like this place, didn´t know you were here” he lied, looking down to his feet.

You groaned, you really didn´t want to say anything but you just had to.

“You told me the weak don´t deserve to live when we first met, remember? But I´ve always wondered: did you mean the mentally weak or the physically weak? And what about those who evolve to be strong? Either way, you should´ve killed me after that statement” you rambled.

Akutagawa held his breath, how were you able to scratch at his walls like that? Question him like that? And bring up his past and personal issues? How could you read him like that?

“Being weak and thinking you´re weak are two different things” he said flat out, making you laugh.

He frowned. “What´s so funny?” he crossed his arms.

“Nothing, I just didn´t think you actually had a reason not to kill me” your words came out sounding more annoyed than you actually were.

“Tch, you irritate me” Akutagawa said through clenched teeth.

You groaned. “Oh really? Why is that? Because I speak my mind? Are you so unused to that? I have so many more reasons to be irritated by you than you!” you raised your voice, turning to face him.

“I don´t think I have the same effect on you as you have on me” he told you plainly, making you even more confused.

“What the hell is that even supposed to mean? Can´t you just say what you mean once in your life?” you fumed.

“Why should I do that if I don´t know its consequences?” he questioned, now that perplexed you quite a bit. He didn´t seem like a guy who thought about the consequences of his actions.

“You know, maybe I should hate you. It´s easier that way” Akutagawa stated, not waiting for you to say anything, he just vanished without another word.

He left you wondering what just happened.

Great, the day before the mission you really wanted a good night´s sleep, but now he ruined it.

You hated your brain for it but you would think about him all night, unable to sleep.

You also hated your predictions to become true in the next morning when you had to meet up with Akutagawa.

Luckily his declaration of last night also meant he ignored you, you really weren´t in the mood for talking.

All the talking was broken down into information necessary for the mission.

In silence the two of you walked to the location, at first you thought you were too late, but in fact you were just in time.

Well, too late for the plan you worked so hard and long on, but just in time to step into action and stop Mimic´s leader who was about to kill Odasaku, Dazai´s friend.

Normally you would´ve waited and hidden in a safe spot before raiding the enemy´s base.

Now without thinking, with a mere second of analyzing the situation, you dashed forward in between the two men who were about to shoot each other.

Everything that happened happened in an instance, so fast, it almost felt like forever.

You saw something rushing toward you from the corner of your eye and the next thing you knew, black matter stabbed Mimic´s leader to death and red light illuminated you, acting as an armor, a shield of sorts.

It felt warm and yet it was over as soon as it began.

“What are you guys doing here?” Odasaku spoke up before you could voice your confusion.

Quickly you pushed the thought of what the fuck just happened to the back of your head and gave a short mission report.

“Well, some bird told us you got yourself in trouble and it´s our mission to take out Mimic anyway, so it´s kinda like killing two birds with one stone, right?” you smiled at him.

“I guess, but I had it under control” he defended himself.

“You were just about to get killed, I wouldn´t say that gives the impression of being under control”

You commented, still not grasping how lucky you were, how perfectly in time. You had to commend yourself for thinking so fast, you didn´t think you still had it in you.

“Yeah, you might be right. Well, thanks for saving me again” he showed his gratitude and went back to the mafia´s base with Akutagawa.

“Wait a second, Akutagawa!” you caught up to him.

“What was that just now? I didn´t know your ability is able of defense, you have to tell Dazai, I think he´ll be proud of you” you complimented him.

He stared at you for a while in his cold, emotionless manner, but his eyes were different than normally, there was something soft in them.

“I didn´t really think about it” he admitted.

“Well, either way, you did a good job today. Intentionally or not, you saved me, thank you. I mean it” you told him, trying to look him in the eyes but it was like he was looking right through you.

“Like I said, I didn´t mean to do it, I just did” he said sharply and joined Odasaku on his way.

You didn´t know what you expected, but some part of you had hoped he did it intentionally.

And that part hurt like hell right now.

It was ridiculous and you knew it but for some reason he got to you and you despised it.

This feeling made you so unable to concentrate and feel dizzy and it was just horrible.

You felt utter defeat when you walked back to the Rag Doll.

And as if that wasn´t enough, Dazai was the first thing that caught your eye.

He sat at the bar, flirting with the barmaid and when he saw you, he gave you an amused look.

“What´s so funny, Osamu?” you weren´t in the mood for his twisted schemes today.

“Oh nothing, just the way you can break people. I never thought my subordinate would let you get to him, and yet… and yet he hasn´t been able to think straight ever since he met you.” he sounded disgusted, like a child whose toy has been broken. Maybe it was boredom as well, you could never tell with Dazai.

You sighed and shook your head, you didn´t know whether you should laugh or cry.

“What are you trying to achieve, Dazai? I can´t handle your bullshit today, so why don´t you just tell me your true intentions for once?” you groaned, oh how you wished you could just be at home in your bed right now, away from everything that´s been going on.

“I could ask you the same thing. You accused me of not caring about Akutagawa, but if I didn´t care why would I have saved him? And yes, maybe I did fuck up in raising him, how could I not? I have never done this before. But I know one thing: if he wants to survive in this cruel world, he has to be strong. And he has to be selfish, because the world is too, nobody will care about him and he has to learn that. I can´t have you breaking his heart, I can´t have you trying to fix him, I can´t let you make him let his guard down. Because that way the world will eat him alive” Dazai told you and for once he was honest. That didn´t mean his words didn´t hurt you.

“I´m sorry, Dazai. For doubting you. You´re right, I shouldn´t be around him… but why do you keep pairing us up if you know that?” you felt your lungs squeeze together, cutting off the air, making it hard to breathe. Your heart ached and your hands started to shake as you desperately tried to fight back the tears, it was semi-working.

He chuckled, looking at you with something you could only identify as pity.

“I see the way he looks at you, Akutagawa is always so angry and stern. You somehow manage to calm him down. I´m not stupid, (Y/N). I know what you feel for him. I´m sorry about the way my words came out before, I just wanted to make sure your feelings were honest. I don´t think there´s anyone better for him than you. I have a feeling that you can tear down his walls, maybe make him more sociable… we´ll see. Either way I´m excited to see where this is going”

Dazai smiled at you.

“You´re making this seem as if I actually stand a chance...” you mumbled, you knew exactly what Akutagawa thought of you, he wouldn´t ever see you the same way you saw him.

“Dazai-san, is it true what you said? Does (Y/N) really….? Oh, excuse me”

Akutagawa came rushing through the entrance, he didn´t even see you until Dazai cleared his throat and pointed at you.

“Yes, she likes you back. I´ll leave you two alone now” Dazai mentioned casually before he left.

You almost choked on your breath and blushed heavily, you thought now was a good time to escape but your legs wouldn´t listen to you.

Both of you said nothing for a while and who could blame you? This was what one would call an exceptional awkward situation.

Akutagawa was the first to find his voice again while you were still thinking about your escape route.

“So… is it true?” he asked, not meeting your eyes. His voice was low, like he was trying to suppress something.

You gave up trying to run, what was the point in it?

“Yes” a simple word, taking a leap of faith, you let out the breath you didn´t know you held.

You couldn´t even look into his eyes, too scared of what his reaction might be.

Whatever horrible things you imagined didn´t happen.

Instead Akutagawa was… coughing? And that rather heavily.

You rushed over to him and placed your hand on his shoulder gently.

“Are you alright? Can I do something?” you asked, but he just shook his head.

After a few minutes he was done coughing and looked sideways in embarrassment.

“You too make me feel… things” he bluntly stated, making your heart beat faster.

You smiled at him and took his hand and he let you.