#the after party spoilers

[sspiderj]

i like my men in custody

[hinamie]

I don't want to regret the way I lived

[egophiliac]

we were fucking ROBBED

[myrkulitescourge]

the way that one line from the new epilogue in an astarion romance is going to HAUNT me

just. what a profoundly intense thing to confess to someone.

like, just these six months of newfound happiness with you exerts a force on his heart equal and in direct opposition to two centuries of endless torment, the gnawing hunger and exploitation. this flashbulb-bright fraction of his long life holds the same gravity to him as years upon years of darkness and suffering.

in all likelihood, he hasn’t even known his lover for as long as his worst memory lasted, that year sealed away to go mad from starvation and sensory deprivation, yet he still tells them this brief time has been so fundamentally and powerfully important that the weight of even that unimaginable hell is vanishingly small compared to this present he has now and the future ahead of them both.

how am i supposed to act normal about this.

[smokin-salmon]

Fuck it. *Makes the old woman cry*

[lucabyte]

i feel like people are sleeping on the occam's razor situation of how buckwild it is to outright accuse a guy of being a clone of your friend even if you DO have a lot of circumstantial evidence. there's other options is what im saying. they could just be like. a guy. that's a sensible deduction. you should explore that deduction. ignore my shirt that reads I <3 RED HERRINGS.

i still think odile has the correct theory on lock but she's smart enough to know it needs like... a real smoking gun to be able to bring it up without sounding insane.

anyway. (mirabelle voice) i know its rude to speculate but has anyone else noticed the grieving? they seem to be grieving. does anyone have any thoughts on the grieving? i have some thoughts on the grieving.

[tumatawa]

I wish she had more scenes... Whateva

[ruporas]

the blank ticket in your hand is just waiting to be filled in.

happy birthday vash! (ID in alt text)

[outoftoucherlocksholmes]

place your bets NOW on who will WIN THE BIGGEST DIVORCE OF THE 21st CENTURY!!!!

[chipper-smol]

SHORT HAIR LOOP IS GIVING ME FEELINGS

[chekhovs-tantrum]

All of the kisses in the Locked Tomb series thus far, organized chronologically and described accurately

Inspired by @wifegideonnav's post on Tamsyn torturing us:

Suicidal ten-year-old makes out with corpse; gets possessed

^Same kid gets eyebrow kissy and baptism from hometown butch who she's definitely killed a few times

^Same kid sticks vomit-covered tongue into throat of vicious socialite immediately after lobotomy to forget dead girlfriend

Honorable mention because it happens offscreen: Dead Girlfriend's Mom (haunting same kid) (different haunting) vent-reminisces in memories about her unholy thruple-with-two-bodies

Socialite delivers averted cheek kiss with a womp womp womp

Sloppy bisexual thruple (different thruple) fuck God after lemon queen's ex-husband takes her cannibalized nun-wife's name in vain 

Dead planet baby feeling herself; kisses own reflection

DILF distributes daddy forehead smoochies

Dead planet baby perfectly mimics dead bestie's knuckle kiss to codependent bodysharing cousin

Honorable mention because there's plausible deniability: "horrifying noises" made by twins upon reunion 

Dead Girlfriend sees girl who owned/tortured her for years, stares longingly; dead planet baby rolls with it 

DILF gives real kisses to members of thruple (different thruple-in-two-bodies) before besties mutually explode in death-by-codependency

Dead planet back in second body. Bite. 

[sspiderj]

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

The good timeline be like

[egophiliac]

c. can i ask what's happening with idia during the whole tsum thing

Idia gets into a fistfight with his tsum and loses

[mossbone]

As someone who absolutely despises conflict and bad communication in my real life, can I just say fictional drama in a safe space is sooo tasty. Laudna and Orym were absolutely having two completely different conversations, and Laudna's half of it was poisoned by Delilah.

And then Chetney stepped in and I thought, thank god, because Travis is so good at playing him as the unexpected voice of reason. But then his "compromise" was for Orym to keep the TraumaBlade2000 and for Laudna to feed Delilah a different source of power and y'all...my heart dropped.

You know what else Chetney loves to do? Test people he doesn't trust. He's done it many times to NPC's, sometimes provoking them to see how they treat people under them, other times questioning them to see where their motivations really lie. Here he tested Laudna's motivations. If she really feared Otohan's blade was cursed, if she really just wanted to get it away from Orym and have it destroyed...or if she wanted more power for herself (Delilah).

And she chose to take the separate source of power and leave Orym with Ishta.

Above the table, I think Laudna was doing this in a half-dazed state, choosing the easy way out of the conflict, still partially under Delilah's influence - magical or not. But in-game that's not the message that got across to Chetney. He saw her choose power over concern for her friends. What he is going to do with that knowledge I don't know, but am very excited to see.

[iicaru2]

so you know how when redeemed durge rejects bhaal withers shows up and basically tells their dad to fuck off because thats his kid now. i have a lot of thoughts about the dark urge and all of them are emotionally devastating but anyway. do you guys think astarion saw that and felt some horrible kind of numb, resigned jealousy because years ago he desperately prayed to every one of the gods to free him from cazador and got no answer— then this bhaalspawn haunted by the narrative turns up and Fucking Jergal intervenes just to save their life and flips both ao and bhaal the bird at the same time. because ive been thinking about that ever since my durge run and i need to inflict that pain on everybody else now.