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badasbebi · 5 months

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home is where the heart is

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✦ pairing: bada lee x fem!reader

✦ summary: new to seoul in search of revitalizing opportunities, you're excited to see what the city has in store for you. however, after numerous awkward encounters with your (hot) neighbor and other unfortunate circumstances, you start to doubt whether this move was right for you.

✦ genre/au: fluff, smut MDNI!!, neighbor!au, accidentally turned into a coffeeshop!au as well. maybe some slight angst?

✦ word count: 14k

✦ warnings: probably has grammatical/spelling errors. switch!bada and switch!reader?? sort of?? y/n has a toy collection that could probably contribute to the production of toy story 5.

✦ a/n: initially really liked this story. then, i sat on it for three days, and now I'm not really a fan of this? i also feel like i forgot to how to write? hope yall still enjoy though! i have a few ideas I'm rlly excited abt anyway <3

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The elevator lobby echoes with the shuffling of your feet and the thud of the cardboard box shifting within your grasp. Your new apartment complex seems to grow larger with each step, the space stretching endlessly as you aim for one of the metal doors. The box, marked “fragile,” presses into your arms, and beads of sweat drip down your forehead as you internally curse at yourself for your excessive overpacking and stubbornness.

You don’t know who or what made you believe you were capable of doing this move entirely by yourself, but you are now facing the consequences for past you's groundless self-confidence. As you take a step forward, your arms wobble under the strain, and the box slips precariously, threatening to escape your grasp. You tighten your grip, determined not to let the flimsy box defeat you. You were not going to let a box labeled fragile, of all things, be the reason for your demise. No way.

While attempting to steady yourself, you vaguely hear a loud ping reverberate throughout the lobby. Like the easily hyperfixated person you are, you pay no mind to it, focusing only on the task at hand. The last thing you need is to drop the box and have its contents shatter against the floor. You would never forgive yourself.

Just as you pause to readjust the box, the elevator door opens, and footsteps follow it. A tall, dark-haired woman with bangs stumbles into the opening, her phone in her hands. She stops in her tracks, clearly distracted, and you foolishly walk straight into her.

The box falls from your grasp, and as it plummets to the ground, you have an out-of-body experience. This was it. The box is going to hit the ground, and you will have lost this uphill battle. In slow motion, you watch the box tilt backward and forwards, suspended in midair for what seems like forever until, suddenly, you feel your hand wrap around it. As you blink away the stars clouding your vision, you register that you've saved the box from certain doom, just barely. A sigh of relief escapes your lips.

A triumphant smile graces your lips as you clutch the box tightly. It’s a bit more crumpled than before, but it is still very much in one piece (ignoring the fact that the fragile item inside the box was most definitely broken). Gravity was no match for your superior reflexes.

As you look up, your smile falters. Your eyes widen, and you feel heat rise to your cheeks. You just ran into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen, and she is staring at you. Her eyes, framed by thick-rimmed glasses, gaze at you, wide and unblinking. She looks at you as if you were the most embarrassing thing she has ever seen, and it takes all your willpower not to turn around and run back down the hall.

Her long, dyed black hair hangs in a braid down her shoulder. Her outfit consists of a plain, oversized black t-shirt, baggy pants, and a pair of worn nikes. The only pops of color are the bright yellow socks poking out from underneath the white shoes, and the streaks of blonde in her hair.

"Oh, my god, I am so sorry!" you finally manage, stumbling over your words. "I should've been paying attention to where I was going."

The woman seems to snap out of her daze with a vigorous shake of her head. "No, no, it's fine. Don't worry about it," she responds with a small laugh. Her voice is light and melodic, and the sound makes your heart skip a beat. She glances down at her phone, and a slight frown creases her forehead. "I wasn't watching where I was going either."

You give a small, awkward chuckle in response, but you feel your nerves ease a little. She didn't seem weirded out, thank the stars.

She glances down at the box, and her eyes widen as if she is just noticing its existence.

"Here, let me help you," she says as she effortlessly picks up and takes the box from your hands before you can even think to say no, a shiver running up your spine at the contact.

"You really don't have to," you protest weakly, making much of an effort to actually stop her.

"It's the least I can do after making you almost drop the box." She gives you a warm smile, and the butterflies in your stomach start dancing wildly.

"Thank you." You return the smile, feeling the corners of your mouth twitch.

She turns on her heel and gestures to the elevator doors. "Where are you headed?" she asks, pressing the up button with her elbow.

"Uh, floor 8," you answer. She nods, and when the elevator doors open, the two of you step inside.

The combination of the woman's vanilla-scented perfume and elevator music does little to soothe your anxiety. You stand side-by-side in awkward silence. You shift uncomfortably, feeling your cheeks burn. What do you even say to a person this gorgeous? You clear your throat and will the courage to speak. You are an adult. You can talk to people. You got this! Just be casual. Easy peasy. Just say words! Just. say. them.

"So, uh, is this your first time using the elevator?" You wince.

Maybe not those words.

"No, I usually use the stairs." She says with a giggle, seemingly unfazed by your pathetic attempt at conversation. "But, um, is this your first time here?"

You nod. "I just moved here today." You pause. "How did you know?"

"I just—haven't seen you here before," she says simply, looking you up and down with an expression you can't quite decipher. "I'm Bada, by the way."

"Bada," you repeat, testing out the name on your tongue. It sounds nice. You smile, and the tips of your ears grow hot. "I'm Y/N."

"Y/N." She returns your smile. "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise." Your fingers fidget with the hem of your shirt. Your eyes wander over to the numbers lit up on the panel, and your face pales when you see that the two of you are already on the eighth floor. The elevator slowly comes to a stop, and you swallow thickly. "Well, I guess this is my stop," you say as you step into the hallway.

"Did you want me to walk you to your apartment? This is actually the floor that I-" Bada starts, but a faint chime rings out before she can finish. She pulls her phone out, holding the box with one arm, and frowns at the screen.

"Ah, damn, I gotta go," she says. She looks back up at you and gives you a smile, although a little less bright. "I'm going to be late for a meeting. Do you think you can manage?"

You stare, momentarily perplexed by the kindness this random stranger is displaying towards you, but then you catch yourself, and smile.

You shake your head, waving a hand dismissively. "Don't worry about it, I've got it. I'm a big girl," you reassure her. "Thank you for helping me, though."

She hands the box over, and your fingers brush again, sending a jolt of electricity up your arm.

"Of course," she replies, smiling. "Anytime. It was nice meeting you."

"Yup."

You give each other a brief wave, and you watch the elevator doors slide shut.

As you stare at the spot she was once at, you feel a pang of disappointment in your chest. You wish you could have gotten to know her better, but there was always another day. You lived in the same building, after all. Maybe you'd run into her again.

You struggle with the box a bit more, and then you finally enter your apartment, the door clicking shut behind you.

The first thing you do is drop the box in the entryway and walk over to the nearest wall. You lean your back against it, sliding down until your butt hits the ground. You sit there for a moment, gazing out of the floor-to-ceiling window across the room, trying to process everything that just happened. And, well, everything else that's been happening in your life.

As the sun dips below the skyline, casting long shadows across the city, you find yourself finally having to wrestle with contrasting feelings of excitement over this fresh start, mingled with a weariness that's settled into your bones after a day of moving boxes and thinking of the uncertainty surrounding the days ahead of you.

Just a month ago, you made the spontaneous decision to move to chase your dreams in Seoul, a country an entire ocean away from where you're from. Now you are in a new city, a new apartment, a potential new job, and you have mixed feelings. You're excited about the possibilities but also scared of the loneliness you know is inevitable. It is a loneliness that is necessary, though. You’ve spent too long stuck, moping about your unfortunate circumstances in the same mundane city you grew up in. You were aching for something new. As terrified as you are, you know that it’ll eventually feel worth it. It has to.

In the meantime, your living space echoes with emptiness and awaits your touch. Exhausted but determined, you eventually drag yourself off the ground, the weight of the day catching up to you, but not stopping you.

You scan the space in front of you, surrounded by the remnants of your previous life, now neatly packed into cardboard containers. The living room, cluttered with boxes marked "pictures," "books," and "memories," feels too overwhelming, so you decide to tackle the kitchen first. Igniting your last reserves of energy, you unpack your pots and pans as your thoughts drifts to old routines. As the clock ticks away and you find new sacred spots for your favorite items, your exhaustion begins to fade as you infuse the space with pieces of yourself, fueled by the realization that this is your sanctuary that you could call your own.

By the time you empty your last box for the day, the apartment glows with your presence. It’s nowhere near finished, but you already feel as if your choices have been validated. You collapse onto your makeshift bed, and as you close your eyes, a smile plays on your lips.

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"I asked for three and three-quarter pumps of brown sugar. Is this really the best you can do?"

You stare at the cup sitting before you. Three and three-quarters, your ass. Who the hell was going to measure that? You glance up at the man before you. His face is contorted into a snarl as he glares at you, as if he expects an apology. It takes everything in you not to throw the steaming hot cup of coffee in his face.

"Sir, I'm sorry, but I believe that this is indeed three and one half—i mean—three quarter pumps," you lie, attempting to brush past your stumble in the calmest voice possible. You try to muster a professional smile, but it's a difficult feat.

"Bullshit. You clearly can't read a scale properly or hear. Just do it over, and make it right. Three and three QUARTERS," He huffs, shoving the cup in your direction.

Your fists clench behind the counter. "Yes, sir," you mutter through gritted teeth, your politeness hanging by a thread.

You dump his original drink in the trash and grab a fresh cup. The man watches as you add the pumps, one by one, ensuring that each one is added correctly. It is, and instead of being grateful that you did not put three and three-quarters of spit in his cup, he rolls his eyes, mumbling to himself about younger generations being too lazy to do their jobs right the first time. He takes the cup from you, without saying thank you, and struts off.

You sigh, shaking your head. You needed to get your blood pressure checked.

"You okay?" a voice asks.

You turn around, coming face to face with your coworker, Mijoo. She stands before you, leaning against the counter, a sympathetic smile on her face.

You groan, running a hand over your face. "I don't know how much longer I can take this. How have you worked here for this long?" you reply, your voice muffled by your hands.

Mijoo shrugs. "Honestly, you get used to it after a while. And on the rare occasion that you run into a genuinely nice customer, I promise they make up for the hundreds of shitty interactions."

Without moving your hands from your face, you state, “That doesn't make me feel any better."

Mijoo laughs, bright and bubbly, and pats your shoulder. "Don't worry, it'll get easier, I promise. You'll be desensitized in no time! Seriously, I feel nothing when people call me stupid, or an imbecile, or a bitch-"

You frown, dropping your hands. "Mijoo, that's awful."

Mijoo sighs and walks around the counter to wrap her arm around your shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze. "Just don't stress about it, okay? You'll be fine. Plus, we've got each other!"

You return the gesture, wrapping an arm around her waist. "You're right."

Mijoo has been your rock throughout this whole process. She was the one who interviewed you for this crappy job, and she was the one who showed you the ropes inside and outside of the cafe you work at. In addition to showing you her go-to spot in the cafe for mental breakdowns, she's shown you her favorite spots in Seoul. If it weren't for her, you're sure you'd be a complete and utter wreck.

"What would I do without you?" you ask.

Mijoo chuckles, squeezing you tighter. "Probably have a lot more panic attacks," she replies, causing the two of you to erupt in laughter.

The alarm on your phone blares, signaling that it's time for you to go home. You and Mijoo share a dejected glance. You hated leaving her alone at the shop, but she always insisted that you go home before the rush. You had no choice but to agree.

"See you tomorrow," you tell her as you shrug on your jacket.

"Bright and early," she responds, throwing you a wave.

"Are you at least going home soon?"

She shakes her head. "Nah, I've got a few things I need to finish up, so I'll probably be here for a few more hours. I'll lock up."

You sigh. "Alright, but please text me when you get home."

She smiles, her eyes crinkling at the corners. "Will do. Now, go. Go home and get some sleep, you deserve it."

You make your way to the entrance, giving Mijoo one last glance. She waves to you, a big grin on her face. When you open the door and step out, the bell above you chimes.

As the crisp air hits your face, you can feel the tension drain from your body. A content smile graces your lips, and you can feel your mood instantly improving. Even though your job was stressful, there was nothing quite like coming home after a long shift.

The sun has already begun to set, and the streets are bustling. People pass by you, not paying attention as they make their way home. Some have earphones in, while others are on their phones. You watch as couples and groups of friends chat and laugh as they make their way to whatever destination they have in mind. You feel a small pang of loneliness in your chest.

Your apartment isn't too far from your work, so you reach your destination quickly despite the heaviness in your heart. You're exhausted, and all you want to do is go home, cook dinner, and crawl into bed.

You ride the elevator to your floor, and you're reminded of the time you ran into Bada months ago. Her name echoed through your head every time you heard this elevator music, which was every day. You haven't seen her since that day, which wasn't really a surprise. It was a big building.

When the doors open, you make a beeline to your door, fishing your keys out of your pocket. As soon as you unlock your door, you practically skip inside. You immediately slip off your shoes and toss your jacket and keys onto the counter. You let out a satisfied sigh as you plop down on the couch, closing your eyes. You stay like that for a few moments, listening to the quiet hum of the air conditioner. After a few minutes, you hear your phone ping. Yelping, you sit up and pull it out of your pocket, hoping it's the text you've been anticipating from a landlord. Disappointment settles in the pit of your stomach when you see it's just a spam email. Groaning, you drop the phone onto the couch next to you.

You sit there, wallowing in your misery and loneliness. The quiet hum of the AC does little to soothe your worries.

You miss your friends, but the distance has made it hard for them to keep up with you, and vice versa. They all had lives, and jobs, and families. But you didn't. All you had was an empty apartment. And you had Mijoo, but you felt terrible relying on her for everything.

As you’re ruminating on the pathetic reality of your social life, a loud bang comes from the wall behind you. You jump in shock and quickly turn to look at the source. You can barely make out a muffled, feminine voice, saying something that sounds like a curse. Seconds later, music starts playing through the walls. Loud, bass-heavy music. You sit up, your hand hovering over the plaster, feeling perplexed. You haven't heard anyone in the apartment next to you since you moved in. You just assumed you were neighborless. Maybe someone new moved in? You haven't seen anyone with boxes or anything all week, though, and there's no way someone just managed to move in within the last 8 hours.

A beat passes. You can feel the vibrations from the loud music rattling the walls. You frown, and walk over to the wall. You raise a hand and knock loudly, but it's useless. You sigh. There was no way you could relax with this noise.

You turn away from the wall, and pick your phone up in case you need to dial 119 during this confrontation. You make your way out into the hallway, slamming the door shut behind you and ignoring how your heart pounds in your ears. You walk to the door next to yours and, after a moment of hesitation, knock loudly. The music stops, and your heartbeat slows. The door remains closed, so you knock again, even harder this time.

After what feels like an eternity, the door finally swings open, revealing a woman you thought you'd never see again.

"Bada?" you question, bewildered.

"Hey," she replies, sounding equally surprised. She's wearing sweatpants and a black tank top, and her hair is in a messy ponytail. You can smell a faint hint of sweat. She's still gorgeous, though.

"What are you doing here?" you ask, trying to hide your shock.

She looks behind her, as if to verify that she's in the correct place, then turns back around. "This is my apartment," she states, slowly, as if she's speaking to a child requiring stabilization.

"Since when?"

She laughs at this, and your heart flutters. "Since I've lived here. Which is a long time, considering this is the second year."

"No, I mean," you pause, searching for the right words. "I haven't seen you around? I mean, you're right next door. There's no way I could've missed you."

Her lips form an 'o' shape, and she nods. "Ah, well, I travel a lot for work so I haven't been home much. I was out of the country for a while."

You nod, "Oh. That makes sense. Well, see ya!"

You turn on your heel and make your way back towards your apartment, embarrassment beginning to flood through your body, when Bada's voice stops you.

"Hey, wait."

You turn around, raising an eyebrow. "Yeah?"

She looks amused. "Are you going to tell me why you came knocking? Or did you just want to see me?"

Your eyes widen and your cheeks burn. "What? No, I'm sorry, I-"

She interrupts you with a laugh. "Relax, I'm joking."

You nod, feeling relieved. You weren't sure why this woman made you feel so incompetent. "Well, it’s the music. It's really loud, and-"

"Oh, shit," she cuts in, her eyes widening. "I'm sorry, I forgot. I'm not used to having neighbors. It's been a while since someone lived next door."

"It's totally fine, it's just...a bit much."

"Gotcha," she replies.

You stare at each other for a few seconds, and you can feel yourself begin to sweat. You clear your throat. "Well, I should probably go now."

She nods, a slight frown on her face. "Okay. See you around."

"See ya," you reply, awkwardly, before walking away.

When you reach your door, you let out a deep breath As annoyed and embarrassed as you were, seeing her again was a bit of a pleasant surprise. She seemed even more beautiful now than she did in the elevator. Your mind wanders back to the sleeveless shirt she had on. The hair bun that gave you a clear view of her neck, her jawline, her collarbones.

You shake the thought from your head and walk into your apartment. You needed to put yourself out there, soon. It’s been too long since you’ve felt a woman’s touch, and now you can barely look at an attractive woman without spiraling into a frenzy.

You decide to go take a shower and call it an early night, hoping that a session with Rosalia 3000 will ease your mind.

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You stand behind the counter, boredly wiping down the surfaces. It's a slow day, and Mijoo is off, finally using her vacation days. The cafe is mostly empty, save for a few students studying in the corner. You've already cleaned the entire place twice today, and the clock hasn't even struck 4 o'clock yet. It was days like these that you hated most. As much as you disliked angry customers, having to stand behind the counter doing nothing all day was enough to make you want to claw your eyes out.

You sigh, and lean back against the counter. You check your phone, just in case you missed any messages you’ve been waiting for. When the screen loads, the familiar white background greets you, with no new notifications.

You lock the screen, and stuff the device into the pocket of your apron. You look around the cafe, hoping to find something to occupy your mind. Your eyes land on the display cases of cakes on the far end of the counter, and an idea pops into your head.

You grab a bag of flour, sugar, eggs, milk, and baking powder from the storage room. You mix the ingredients together, and add a few teaspoons of vanilla extract. After about ten minutes, the batter is ready, and you scoop some into a pastry bag. You start to pipe the dough into shapes, filling the space. The familiar motion relaxes you, and you can feel the stress slowly leaving your body. There were only a select few people in the cafe who were permitted to contribute to the array of treats your cafe housed. Unfortunately, you weren’t one of those people, leaving you little time to partake in your passion in between busy shifts and tiring days. You needed this.

Working quickly, you fill up the space within 30 minutes. After placing the cookies in the backoven, you start cleaning up the counter, throwing away any leftover bits of dough and tossing the used bowls and utensils into the sink. When you finish cleaning the area as best as you can, you turn back around, and your eyes widen as you realize you aren't alone.

Standing before you, his arms crossed, is the man with the ridiculous coffee order from a couple days ago. Yikes.

"Um," you begin, trying to keep your voice from wavering."Can I help you?"

"I’ve been standing here for two minutes,” he begins, and you can hear the aggravation in his voice. "Do you not know how to do your job?"

"I-"

"So you’re not just a terrible barista, you’re a terrible worker too,” he spits out.“There are barely any people in this cafe and you can’t keep up?”

You clench your jaw, trying to keep the anger bubbling up inside of you at bay. "Sir, I apologize for not noticing you sooner, but I’ll be happy to assist you now."

"Yeah, I’m sure. Where’s your manager?”

Your eye twitches. “He isn’t here right now. I can assure you I’ll be able to help you with anything you need."

"Well do you have a way to contact him? A phone number? Zoom?”

You shake your head. "Sorry, sir. Our manager prefers that we only contact him when he is away if there’s an emergency.”

He releases a maniacal laugh, then immediately straightens his face. “Is this not an emergency? How is this not an emergency when the service in this shop is so fucked that you don’t see a customer standing in plain sight for ten minutes?”

You blink. “I thought—never mind. Sir, again, I’m terribly sorry. If you’d like, I can give you this drink on the house and—"

He cuts you off. "I don't want a refund. I want better quality of service…”

He drones on, and at this point you tune him out. There was nothing you could do or say to satisfy him. Really, the irony of the situation just made you want to laugh. He was complaining about you wasting his time, and by doing so was wasting even more time. Did this man actually have a job other than being a menace to innocent baristas? Probably not. As you mindlessly watch the man flail his arms in exasperation, you hear the bell above the entrance ring. You’re about to glance over, when the man in front of you slams his palm on the counter, demanding your attention.

"I'm not done yet! I've spent the last fifty six minutes telling you everything you're doing wrong, and you've barely apologized. In fact—"

"I'm sorry, sir, but if you don’t calm down I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” You cut him off, your voice surprisingly steady.

"What?" His mouth hangs open.

You cross your arms. "You are disrupting the environment and harassing me.”

"Harassing?" He repeats, incredulously. "Are you fucking kidding me? Who the hell are you to tell me what to do? You don’t have the authority to kick me out.”

You roll your eyes. "I'm not kicking you out. You are free to stay and order anything you'd like. If, however, you choose to continue to cause a scene, I'll have no choice but to have you escorted off the premises."

His eyes narrow, and this time he crosses his arms. "Yeah? And who’s gonna escort me?”

Customer service thrown out the window, you open your mouth to call him a prickly little bitch, but are interrupted by the sudden appearance of a hooded figure walking up beside him.

"Leave her alone," a familiar voice states. You look over, and realize the individual you’re looking at is Bada, who towers over the man beside her.

The man scoffs, and looks her up and down. "Excuse me? Mind your own.”

"This is her cafe, and she has a right to kick you out if you're being disruptive."

"I'm not bothering anyone," the man retorts.

"Well, you’re bothering me. I’ve had to stand here and watch you squeal for the past few minutes and quite frankly it's starting to piss me off. If you don’t leave, I'll escort you out myself."

The man opens his mouth, presumably to spit some more venom, but the sight of Bada's clenched fists and murderous glare causes him to snap his mouth shut. He glares at the two of you for a moment, before turning on his heel and stalking off.

Both of you watch him leave. As the door closes behind him, you witness the door swing shut with surprising speed, smacking into Mr. Grumpington's rear end just as he reaches the threshold. Stumbling forward with a startled yelp, his briefcase flies out of his grasp, scattering papers across the sidewalk.

Your hand flings up, over your mouth as you observe him stand slowly, his knees wobbling. A woman and her child pass by him with bewildered expressions, and you repress your laughter. Once he gathers himself, he shoots a withering glare in the direction of the café, and storms off.

Old man finally gone, Bada turns back to you, her expression soft. "Sorry. I know I probably overstepped, but I saw the whole thing and I was worried he was going to hurt you.”

You sober up and shake your head, smiling slightly. "No, it's okay. He was being an asshole and I didn't know what to do with him. I'm glad you were here."

Bada returns your smile, and you're once again taken aback by her. “Anytime."

"I have cookies, if you'd like some," you offer, suddenly remembering the sweets baking in the oven. "On the house, for the trouble."

Bada's eyes light up. "I'd love some! And an iced latte, please.”

You nod. "Sure. Have a seat and I'll bring it out."

Bada takes a seat in a booth in the corner, and pulls out a laptop. As the coffee brews, you glance at her as she types and reads something on the screen, her expression concentrated. She purses her lips as as she focuses on whatever she’s looking at, and you find yourself staring.

She looks up, catching your eye. You blush, and spin around to face the display case, pretending to wipe it down. You grab the iced latte and a plate of cookies, and walk over to Bada.

"Thanks!" she says, smiling, and grabs a cookie. She takes a bite and hums in satisfaction.

"Good, right?" you question, a smile tugging at your lips.

"So good!" she affirms, her cheeks full of the pastry.

You break into a wide grin that you’re not sure is because of the woman’s cuteness, or the pride blooming in your chest. "Thanks. I made them."

She raises her eyebrows. "Wait, really? Woah. I'm impressed."

Playing nonchalant, you shrug. "It's whatever."

She laughs. "It's not whatever! These would sell out in seconds if you displayed them in here," she remarks, grabbing another one.

You're reminded of the call you're still waiting on, and try to dispel the anxiousness growing inside you. That’s the plan, just not here. You decide not to bring that up, though. You dont wanting to put a damper her spirits with your oversharing.

But you're not tired of hearing her praises. "You think?"

"Definitely,” she confirms. "I'll come by every day to buy a dozen.”

"I'll hold you to it."

"Please do," she responds, and you swear you detect a hint of flirtation in her voice. Before you can retort, a notification pops up on her computer, and her eyes dart down. She sighs.

"Everything alright?" you ask.

She nods, but her brows are furrowed. "Yeah. I'm just stressed. My job has been keeping me super busy lately."

You nod, and hesitate before asking, "If you don't mind me asking, what do you do?"

"Oh," she answers, her face clearing up. "I'm a dancer. And I choreograph for kpop groups."

Your eyes widen. "Whoa. That's cool."

"Thanks," she responds. She pauses for a moment, and she looks like she wants to say more. "It is, but...I don't know, sometimes these companies get on my nerves." She says with a tired laugh.

You're a bit surprised by her confession, and the dejected look on her face makes your heart hurt. "What do you mean?"

She shrugs. "They're never quite satisfied with what we do and it sucks, you know? The only time I have fun is when I'm working with a company that doesn't treat their artists like shit."

You frown. "Yeah, I can't even begin to imagine how frustrating that is. I'm sorry."

She smiles, looking sheepish. "No, I'm sorry for venting. It's been a long week."

You shake your head. "Don't apologize. You're saving me from having to clean the counter for the nth time today."

She smirks. "I thought the jerk from earlier was already doing that?"

"Oh god, please don't bring him up again." You groan, and she giggles in a way that makes your chest warm.

"Don't worry. He won't bother you anymore. I scared him away," she says, wiggling her eyebrows.

You laugh, and a comfortable silence falls between the two of you. You're about to ask her another question when you hear the bell on the door chime. You look over, and see a group of college students walking in. Your stomach drops.

"Guess it's time for me to actually do my job,” you mutter.

She nods. "What time do you get off? Maybe we could talk more after you're done? Walk home together?"

Walk home together? You should’ve put on a better perfume today. "Sure, but I'm gonna be here for another couple hours."

She slaps her hands together. “That’s actually perfect. I have a bunch of videos to review anyway. I'll be here." She gives you a small wave, and returns to her laptop. You walk away, unable to contain your grin.

And she is there. As the night drags on, as the rush comes in and finally calms, as the clock strikes 8, and as you close the doors.

You turn the keys, locking the door. You turn around, and she's there, waiting for you, laptop in hand. She kicks a rock and it skitters away, hitting a lamppost. When she notices you watching, she offers a shy smile.

"Ready to go?" she asks.

"Sure am," You respond, and the two of you start heading down the street.

The air is warm and the night sky is clear, the stars twinkling brightly. You glance over at her, and admire the way the streep lamps lights up her face. Her eyes are focused ahead, and you stare at her profile. She notices you staring, and turns her head, smiling softly.

"What's up?" she questions.

You shake your head and face forward, wanting to crawl in a hole at your slip-up. "Nothing." You feel the heat rise to your cheeks. This is silly. You've seen this woman plenty of times recently. Hell, you were just in the cafe together not even fifteen ago. But now, walking side-by-side with her, the air between you heavy, you can't help but feel a need to impress her. The idea that you could possibly have a friendship (or more?) with her makes your heart soar. It's silly, and maybe a bit childish, but you're not one to let a good feeling pass by. So, you take a chance, wanting to make this work.

"So, I don't know much about you, but I'd love to," you begin, and her gaze darts towards you. "Tell me about yourself. You said you were a dancer, right?"

"Oh, yeah." She nods. "I started dancing when I was a kid. It was fun, but I didn't start taking it seriously until I was older. I started out doing covers, and eventually landed an audition with a company. That's how I got my foot in the door, and then I kept climbing and now I'm here."

"That's amazing," you tell her. "I'm guessing it's a lot of hard work?"

She nods. "Definitely. It's rewarding, though."

You want to know more, so you ask her more questions, and you follow into comfortable chatter as she tells you all about her life. She asks you a few questions too, some of which you avoid, like why you moved here, or why you're working at the cafe that you obviously dislike. But, overall, the conversation flows easily, and before you know it, the two of you are standing in front of your apartment building.

As the two of you approach the lobby, Bada speaks. "We should do this more often."

"Which part? Walking home together, or me talking your ear off about the ending of Twenty-Five Twenty-One?"

"Mostly the first part. Although I didn't mind hearing you talk about that kdrama. The lead actress is really hot."

You snort, and she follows suit. "You know, I'm glad you came into the cafe today," you confess.

"Me too." She responds, and the two of you stop in front of your door. You're unsure of what to say next, but Bada steps forward, and you tense. Was this really happening?

But then she's inching away, her hands tucked into her pockets. You relax, and ignore the slight disappointment built up in your chest. Duh, you think, shaking your head. What were you expecting?

"Well, have a good night." You say, offering her a small smile.

"You too," she says. "I'll see you soon."

She waves, and you watch her go, before unlocking the door and walking into the apartment. You close your door behind you, and lean against it, releasing a breath.

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Over the next week, you see Bada in passing in the hallway multiple times. Each time she sees you, she stops and says hi, and you talk for a bit. She stops by the cafe a few times too, although she hasn't been able to walk home with you again yet, having a late-night schedule nearly everyday.

But each encounter makes your heart race, and by the end of the week, you feel like your chest might explode. You're not sure the attraction is reciprocated, but even if it is, would she actually be interested in someone like you? Someone who had to deal with a shitty customer service job, was running increasingly low on money, had a terrible sleep schedule, and was depending on one call to determine whether or not this move was a mistake? Probably not. The videos you've been watching for the past hour have made that evident.

Curiosity got the best of you, and you finally looked up Bada about an hour ago. It didn't take long for her to pop up. A ton of information about her was available, from her birthday, to her favorite food, to her shoe size. You mostly ignored that stuff, opting to watch her choreography videos instead. A horrible mistake. She was undeniably talented and captivating, and watching her perform made you feel a million things all at once, the most powerful being desire, much to your dismay. Why was that woman always humping the floor?

After watching the last video, which was a choreography of a popular girl group's song, you shut your computer and lean back on the couch. You stare at the wall separating your apartment from hers, wondering what she's doing right now. Is she getting ready for bed? Did she have a busy day? Is she thinking of you, like how you're thinking of her? Doubtful, but the thought makes your stomach flip.

A notification from your phone interrupts your pity party. You assume it's a notification about a delivery you have coming, but you're surprised to see a text from one of your hometown friends.

Jasmine: heyyy how is everything going over there!

Jasmine: opened up your dream bakery yet?

Not this. You really, really do not want to get into this right now, especially with your friends and family from home, who had high expectations for you. But they were your friends, and you didn't want to keep them in the dark. You take a deep breath, and respond.

y/n: almost. just working at a cafe while I'm getting everything settled.

You wait a few minutes, but she doesn't respond. You sigh. Another thing you miss from home—texting your friends in real time. It would have been nice to be able to vent.

You're about to stand up when you get a response.

Jasmine: oh okay! just be careful not to fall into the same trap you were in here. I don't want you working yourself to death :(

y/n: i won't.

Jasmine: good.

Jasmine: anyway, met anybody cute out there yet?

You stare at the screen, and you can't help but smile.

y/n: yes.

Jasmine: OMG!!!

Jasmine: details plz!

You laugh.

y/n: it's none of your business, lol.

Jasmine: come ooooon y/n!

y/n: nope! I don't want to jinx anything

Jasmine: fine. just keep me updated.

You're about to respond, but a knock at your front door startles you. You set your phone down, and walk over to the door, looking through the peephole, and speak of the devil: It's Bada.

You quickly comb a hand through your hair and rub the sleep out of your eyes. Taking a deep breath, you open the door, trying not to look flustered.

"Hey!" you greet.

"Hi." She responds, and you immediately recognize that something is decidedly off. She looks tense. Her brows are furrowed, and she’s avoiding eye contact, shifting her weight from side to side awkwardly. You see her clutching something behind her back, but cannot make out what it is.

"Um, are you okay?" you ask hesitantly, half-ready to grab the (tall and grown) woman to pull her inside your apartment to protect her from potential imminent dangers.

"Yeah. I just-um. I think your package was delivered to the wrong address?" She pulls her arm from behind her back, and hands you a large box with it flipped to the bottom. "Sorry."

"Oh!" you take the package, are immediately met with the recipient name printed in bold font that is, of course, addressed to you. "Thank you. Sorry about that."

"No worries." She smiles, but it doesn't reach her eyes. "I'll, uh, see you around."

"Yeah, definitely."

She walks away, and you're left standing in the doorway, a bit confused. That was...weird. You step back inside, shutting the door. You set the package down on the coffee table, and just as you are about to rip it open, you make eye contact with the imagery on the front of the package.

Your eyes widen. Oh no. How could you have forgotten?

There, plastered across the front of the box, was a clear picture of a very suggestive toy. You read the words below the image.

"Battery-Operated Love: Your Guide To The Best Vibrators, Toys, and Dildos!"

You stare. You blink. You look around, as if someone is playing a prank on you. You stare some more.

Then, you hurriedly reach for the throw pillow sitting next to you on the couch, and scream into it.

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You sigh, tapping your foot against the floor to the rhythm of humming washers. It's early morning, the sun barely peeking out, and you're currently in the laundry room in your building, waiting for your clothes to dry.

It's been a few days since your package fiasco, and Bada hasn't made another appearance. You'd say she's trying to avoid you, but in reality, you’re the one going out of your way to steer clear of her potential judgments. You've even taken to staying in late, leaving the apartment only to go to work, where you've adjusted your schedule to further avoid the woman in case she tried to stop by. You acknowledge the fact that you're probably overreacting. It wasn't that big of a deal. You're a grown woman with needs! And you weren't going to let those needs fester when you had such an accessible way of gratifying them. You couldn't let the hard work that ancient physicians put into developing such helpful products go to waste. You love to support small businesses!

Although, you weren’t a big fan of the one you ordered from this time. So much for "discreet packaging.”

You stand up, deciding to grab a drink from the vending machine outside to cool your nerves. You reach the lobby, and walk towards the corner, where the row of machines are lined up in front of windows that belong to the gym. You insert your coins, press a few buttons, and wait for your drink. The vending machine is old, and the whirring and clanging of the dispensing mechanism are loud, so it takes longer than usual.

You glance around as you wait, and your eyes finally settle on the windows. You squint, noticing a familiar silhouette performing a series of exercises.

Bada is inside, doing pull-ups. Her back is to you, and her hair is pulled into a ponytail. She's wearing a loose t-shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and shorts. Sweat drips from her forehead and down her back, and the muscles in her arms flex and move with each lift.

You feel your throat dry up. The machine spits out the can, and you grab it. You hesitate for a moment, and then step forward, pushing open the glass door leading into the gym as if you were moving on autopilot. You don't know what you're doing.

"Hey!" you greet.

She turns around, eyes wide, and lowers herself onto the ground. "Hi."

"How are you?" you ask.

"Good! Just finishing up my workout," she answers, reaching for the towel draped on a bench beside her.

"Cool," you answer, trying not to focus on the way her chest heaves as she catches her breath.

"What about you? Haven't seen you around lately," she says, wiping the sweat from her neck.

"I've been busy," you lie, weakly holding up your can. "Just got something from the vending machine while I'm waiting for my laundry. Probably gonna head out and run some errands after this.”

"Ah, okay." She nods, and reaches for a water bottle. You watch her tilt her head back, gulping down the liquid, her Adam's apple bobbing as she swallows. Your eyes travel to her neck, and her collarbone, which is exposed, and the droplets of sweat that rest on her skin. You watch her throat move, and suddenly, your mind is filled with images of her lips trailing down your neck, nipping at your throat, and you're overcome with desire.

You swallow, then continue rambling, trying to rid yourself of your debauched thinking. "Yup, heading over to Itaewon with a friend tonight. Probably won't be back home until tomorrow morning!" you say with the projection of a teenage boy who had his first drink yesterday. You weren't lying this time, though. After the incident, you were humbled into a state of reflection. You wanted to try putting yourself out there, and potentially find gratification beyond something that was battery-powered. Mijoo was ecstatic to hear this, and immediately sent you a list of clubs she and her friends frequented.

"Sounds fun." She takes another sip, and sets the bottle down. "Hope you have a good time. Actually, do you have time to do me a favor before you get back to your laundry?"

"What kind of favor?" you ask, a bit suspicious.

"Can you spot me?" she asks, and you're confused for a moment. She gestures towards a padded spot on the floor. "I was gonna do some more reps, and I’d really appreciate it if you could help me—um—make sure my form was right. f you don't have time, that's fine, I can ask someone else."

"No!" you answer. She jerks her head back in confusion, and you flush at your stumble. "No, I have time. I can spot you."

"Awesome! Thanks so much," she says with her signature heartwarming grin. "I'll just do a couple of sets. It shouldn't take too long.”

”I should warn you that I don’t know anything about weightlifting. Or strength exercises. Or cardio—”

"Not a problem. I’ll just do sit-ups." She reassures as she sits on the floor, and lies down.

“Oh. Okay,” you felt like you were in grade school. "Are we counting or not counting?"

"Um, counting would be helpful," she says.

You nod, and kneel beside her, placing a hand on her shoulder. You feel her tense for a second, but are quickly distracted trying not to focus on the way the damp fabric of her shirt sticks to her skin. "Okay. Ready when you are."

You count, and with each sit-up, the muscles in her arms flex, her jaw tightens, and her breathing becomes labored. You're in such close proximity to her, her arm brushes against yours every time she goes down. The heat radiating from her body is palpable, and you feel yourself begin to sweat, the air becoming hot.

When she's finished, she falls back onto the mat, and you release the breath you hadn't realized you'd been holding. She gets up, and wipes the sweat from her forehead.

"Well, that was fun," she says, standing up to grab her stuff.

"Yeah, it sure was," you murmer, trying to hide the fact that you're completely out of breath despite doing nothing but count. You stand up, and follow her out the door. "See you later, Bada."

Bada waves, looking you over once more in a manner that makes your insides twist, before turning around a speed-walking toward the elevators.

You take a minute to breathe and head back into the laundry room, where your clothes are ready. Instead of grabbing them, you collapse into one of the cheap folding chairs in the corner of the room. Your clothes are probably tinier at this point, but you can't bring yourself to move. Why did you even walk in there in the first place? You knew well that you weren’t capable of acting normal in front of that woman.

You remind yourself of your plans with Mijoo tonight. A club. In the city. With pretty people. Where alcohol was served.

You take a deep breath, and stand up, taking your clothes and throwing them in your basket.

You'd be fine.

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An ear-splitting wail from the girl next to you almost makes you drop your drink.

"I CAN'T DO THIS SHIT ANYMORE!" the woman screeches, and Mijoo, who is currently attempting to console her, rolls her eyes.

"Honey, please, don't make a scene."

"But it's true! I'm a loser, and I'm going to die alone! I might as well stop trying!”

"No, you're not, just stop drinking," Mijoo responds, her voice a few octaves higher in annoyance. She glances at you, and rolls her eyes.

The two of you are at the gay bar in Itaewon, and after an hour and a half, it seems that the night is coming to an end. Mijoo's friend, Naeun, had a mental breakdown after spotting her ex-girlfriend making out with the woman she told her not to worry about. After that, the mood was completely killed. Naeun feigned nonchalance at first.That relationship was seven months ago, she said. I’ve moved on, she said. I’ve had better, she said. it was almost convincing, until you saw her gulp down three shots at a pace you did not know was humanly possible.

And now…

"It's like, you don't listen to anything I say," Naeun sniffles, and you genuinely feel bad for her. You give her a gentle pat on the back, and she turns to hug you.

"I know, I'm a horrible friend or whatever. Let's just go home and eat ice cream or something," Mijoo sighs, and the two of you help Naeun stand.

"Yes. Thank you. You guys are the best," she whimpers. "I don't deserve you."

"Yes, you do," Mijoo assures.

"Yeah, it's all good," you chime in. "Let's just get you home. I think you've had enough alcohol for the next week. Or year."

You and Mijoo drag her out of the bar and into the streets of Itaewon. It's dark, and the neon lights illuminate the sidewalks, where drunk patrons stumble through. You're a little buzzed, and Naeun's deadweight is difficult to carry. Somehow, you manage to get her onto the subway, and inside your building, which is closest. When you reach your front door, you can't help but glance over at Bada's apartment, and are surprised to see a light peeking through the crack between the door and the frame.

"You live here?" Naeun slurs, and you nod, opening the door and dragging her in.

"We'll put her on the couch. Do you mind if we stay over?" Mijoo suggests.

"Not at all," you agree, and the two of you set her down. She groans, and closes her eyes, stretching across your couch in a starfish position. Her dress has risen all the way up to her stomach, but she doesn’t seem to care, You grimace at the sight. "Poor thing."

"She'll be fine," Mijoo says, waving her off. "Come on, I’m starving,"

You follow her into your kitchen and lean against the counter as she reaches into your fridge to pours herself a drink. So much for ice cream.

"Sorry our plans fell through," she apologizes, and you shrug.

"It's not a big deal. Shit happens. Besides, I had fun even though we were only out for, like, five seconds," you answer.

She takes a sip of the liquid in her cup. “We can try again next week? I'll make sure that Naeun is mentally stable next time."

"I don’t know. That doesn’t sound as fun,” you joke, and she grins.

"You’re so right,” she pauses as she opens your fridge back up, and gasps. "Ooh, y/n, can I have one of these?"

"One of what?" you ask, peering over her shoulder, only to find her holding cupcake that you'd made earlier. "Oh, yeah, sure. Go ahead."

She rips off the wrapper, and takes a bite, moaning. "Wow, this is—"

A loud thump sounds from the other side of the wall, and the two of you turn your heads, eyes wide.

"Is that your neighbor?" Mijoo whispers, and the two of you stand still, listening intently. There are a few more thumps, and then a sharp gasp.

"I think she's fucking someone," Mijoo whispers, and then a moan sounds from the other side, followed by a string of curse words, and the bed frame slams against the wall, a rhythmic knocking echoing throughout the apartment.

Naeun sits up from where she's sitting on the couch, and mechanically states, "I need to call her."

"Don't you dare," Mijoo growls, aggressively pointing a finger at the pitiful girl. Naeun whines, and collapses back onto the couch, and you continue to stare at the wall with wide eyes. This couldn't be happening.

You're quiet, listening to the creeks of the bed, the groans, the panting, the curses, and, despite the situation, you can’t help but feel…curious. You’d usually be irked by this situation, reminded of the particularly horrific nights you’d have when you lived with a roommate in your younger years. As made evident by the fluttering in your stomach (and in other parts of your body) you, this was not that. Not even close.

Mijoo laughs. "Oh my god, does this usually happen?"

You snap out of your stupor. "Uh, no, actually. She's usually pretty quiet."

"Really?"

"Yeah. And besides, she's sweet, so it's kind of weird hearing this, but, uh, it's whatever," you reply, attempting to ignore a squeal that vaguely resembles Bada's name.

The bed's movements pick up speed, and the sounds become louder.

"Oh my god," Mijoo murmurs, covering her ears. Naeun starts crying again.

"She's gonna fuck her to death," Naeun sobs, and then the two of you can’t help but burst into laughter. You walk over to the living room, and pat her on the back.

"Come on, let's get you to sleep," you say, helping her up. "You can have the bed. Mijoo and I will take the couch."

"Thank you, I love you both so much," she blubbers, and you drag her into the bedroom, tucking her into the bed.

"We're gonna stay in the living room, so holler if you need us, okay?" you tell her, and she nods.

"I love you guys," she slurs, and then passes out, mouth wide open.

"She’s so dramatic," Mijoo cackles as you close the door.

You and Mijoo get ready to go to sleep, and soon enough the obscene noises from next door are gone. But, as you fall asleep on the couch, they still ring in your head.

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"I'm so sorry for the way I acted last night." Naeun apologizes, a pout on her face. You wave her off. “Don't worry, you're good. At least you gave us some entertainment while you were at it. Are you okay, though?"

She shrugs, adjusting the duffle bag on her shoulder. "Yeah. I mean, it was a pretty big blow, but I'll get over it. She's not worth the tears."

"Atta girl," Mijoo cooes, patting Naeun's head. She turns to you, and smiles. "Thanks for letting us stay over, y/n."

You open your front door, and wave. "Yeah, of course. I'll see you guys later."

Just as the two girls step out, the door to the apartment next to yours opens. You all look to the side, and notice a disheveled woman with blonde hair and bright red lipstick exiting into the hallway. You and Mijoo exchange glances as the woman's eyes meet yours. She gives a small, awkward smile when she notices the three of you, and then bows before hurrying down the hallway.

"Was that your neighbor?" Mijoo asks, and you shake your head.

The actual neighbor in question steps into the hallway, and the three of you watch her with wide eyes. She's wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt, long hair cascading down her back.

Bewildered by your stares, she looks at the three of you with confusion.

"Hello," she greets, bowing, and the three of you bow back. "How are you?"

Naeun's eyes become the size of saucers. "Y-you're Bad—"

"Good!" Mijoo interrupts, and gives a wide, forced smile. "We're all doing well."

"That's good," Bada replies, giving a polite nod. She looks at you, and the corners of her lips quirk upwards. "Hi, y/n. Nice seeing you."

After last night’s noises, her politeness makes you want to laugh. or scream. or cry. You return the smile, gripping your doorknob until your knuckles turn white. "Yeah, nice seeing you, too."

She turns her attention back to the other two, waves, then walks off.

Mijoo and Naeun immediately whip around to face you.

"Your neighbor is Bada Lee?!" Naeun screeches.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Mijoo yells, and you step back.

"Bye guys!" you say, closing the door on the two of them.

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Shortly before closing, the bell rings.

"Hello!" you chirp. "Welcome to—oh, hello!"

"Hey, y/n." Bada waves.

"Hey," you say, even though the two of you already said hello. "How are you?"

"Good, and you?"

"Great, thanks," she responds, staying put in front of the door. "Uh, I actually came here to, um, ask if you wanted to walk home together? I was just passing by, and I thought maybe we could just, like, walk back. At the same time. Since we both have to, um, go there. To our respective homes. I know it's been a while, but I thought it'd be fun. I-if you want some company, I mean. Sorry, I'll leave if you want me to, I'm just—"

"Bada," you interrupt, and she looks up, her eyes meeting yours. "I'd love to."

She blinks. "You would?"

The look of surprise on her face almost startles you back into hesitation. Why wouldn’t you want to spend time with the woman? Even with all the moments you’ve wanted to bury yourself in a hole because of your embarrassment, you couldn’t find it in yourself to ever say no.

Untying your apron from around your waist, you nod. "Yeah! Just give me a second to grab my stuff."

"Okay." She grins. "Thanks."

You pick up your belongings, clock out, and the two of you stepping outside. You lock the doors, and begin to walk towards your building.

"So, how was your night yesterday?" Bada asks, and you almost trip at the reminder of yesterday’s events.

"Uh, it was fine," you reply, clearing your throat. "What about yours?"

"Oh, it was, um, good." She nods.

I’m sure it was, you think. You look at the ground, biting the inside of your cheek. "That's good."

The two of you walk in silence, and now you feel awkward. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. The only sounds surrounding you are of the rustling of the trees, and the occasional passing car.

"Was that your girlfriend?" she suddenly blurts out, and you whip your head around to look at her.

"Huh?"

"Last night, when I ran into the three of you in the hallway. Were one of those girls your girlfriend? Or…”

"No, neither of them," you reply, shaking your head. "One of them is Mijoo, the coworker I told you about, and her friend, Naeun. They came over after we went to a bar."

"Ah." She nods, looking at the sidewalk, and your eyes narrow. You swear you see a small smile on her face.

"What about your girl?" you ask, and her head shoots up.

"My girl?"

"Yeah. Was the girl that was over last night your girlfriend?"

"Oh, no, no, she wasn't," she quickly answers.

"Hm," you hum. And then, your next words spill from your mouth before you can even process them. "I would've thought so with all of the…screaming that was going on."

"W-what?" she stammers, freezing in her tracks.

"Uh," you say, stopping as well. "Nothing. Forget I said anything."

"Did you hear...us?" she asks, her voice quiet, and you can't bear to look at her. Why did you speak up? You didn’t want her to feel embarrassed. Or worse, think of you as a creep for listening in.

"Yes," you murmur, and she lets out a groan, her face turning a shade of pink.

"I am so, so sorry. I thought you were gone. Oh my god, that is so embarrassing." She buries her face in her hands, and despite your previous regrets, you bite your lip to suppress a giggle. Her reaction was too cute.

"It's okay, really," you assure, and she drops her hands, still refusing to look at you. You smile, and continue walking. "Don't worry about it."

"But that's so embarrassing," she whines, and you laugh again.

"You were clearly having a good time."

"Yeah, but I didn't want you to hear," she sighs, and you pat her back.

"Well, at least we're even now."

"What do you mean?" she asks, puzzled.

Uh oh. She probably already forgot about the delivery situation, and you just brought it up for no reason. What the fuck was up with you right now? You were just saying anything.

"Oh, nevermind. Forget about it," you respond, waving her off.

"What was it, though? I haven't heard you…uh…do anything before," she protests, and you shrug, trying to brush her off.

"Nope! Forget about it! I confused you with someone else," you rush out, picking up your pace as you make eye contact with your building.

"You have another neighbor that could’ve potentially heard you having sex?" she replies, clearly confused, as she jogs slightly to catch up.

"No idea!" you sing, and open the door, stepping into the lobby.

"This makes no sense. Now I’m not gonna stop asking," she tells you, and you can't help but laugh.

"And I'm not going to stop avoiding the question."

"Y/n!"

You enter the elevator, and press the button to the 8th floor, watching her enter. You give a polite smile, and she sighs, giving up.

"Fine," she finishes with a pout.

The elevator goes up, and the two of you stand in comfortable silence. You don't know if it's because of the woman's earlier embarrassment, but something about tonight definitely has you feeling a little bold and ready to tease.

"Hey," you pipe up, and she looks over at you. "You guys were pretty loud."

"Shut up," she grumbles, and you can't help but smirk, watching her glare at the floor.

"My friends almost called the police. It sounded like you were committing murder."

"What?" she exclaims, and then groans. "Oh my god, don't."

"And I almost let them. I was like, woah. I knew this woman couldn't be entirely perfect and had to be keeping some sort of deep, dark, secret. But a serial killer? I would've never thought. Turns out you just had a serial moaner in there, I guess."

"Please stop."

"I mean, what were you doing to that poor girl. I—"

"At this point, it just seems like you're trying to get details out of me," she interjects.

"W-what?" you squeak, and she smiles, turning to look at you, suddenly cool and collected.

She shrugs. "You keep bringing it up."

You scoff. How dare she accuse you of such a thing! All of the thirst comments under her posts must have gotten to her head.

"You're ridiculous," you retort.

"Am I wrong, though?" she counters, and you stare at her with wide eyes.

"No," you reply quickly, and then you mentally facepalm, realizing what you said. "I mean yes. You're wrong."

"Right," she chuckles, and the elevator dings, the doors opening. "I have a question for you."

"Yeah, sure, what is it?" you ask, stepping out into the hallway.

She bites her lip, clearly trying to stifle a laugh. "Have you had the chance to use your Satisfyer Pro yet?"

Your jaw drops, aghast. "Wh-what? What the fu—"

"Goodnight, y/n," she grins, snickering as she runs inside her apartment like a little goblin, leaving you to watch her with a mixture of disbelief and irritation.

You can't help but let out a huff of laughter as you enter your own apartment.

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You're sitting in bed with a slice of cake on your lap, blanket tossed to the side due to the hot weather, binge-watching a new series. You contemplate checking your email for a message from that landlord, but decide against it, not wanting to put a damper on your decent mood. Instead, you tune in to another episode of a k-drama, in which the protagonist dies for a second time. Supposedly, it's for real this time.

You're about to finish the slice when there's a knock at the door. You frown, pausing the episode. You stand up, place the plate on the dresser, then walk towards the front door, peering through the peephole. Your heart begins to beat faster when you see a certain woman standing outside your apartment.

"What's up?" you greet, swinging the door open.

"Hey," she says, a soft smile on her face. She's wearing a pair of loose shorts and a white t-shirt, hair in a bun. Sweat glistens on her forehead, and her cheeks are flushed. You can't help but note how good she looks, despite looking rumpled.

"Hi," you respond, returning the smile. "What's going on?" you ask, leaning against the doorframe.

"So, uh, my air conditioning broke," she begins. "And I was wondering if I could hang out in your apartment for a bit? The maintenance people said they aren't going to be able to get here until tomorrow. Apparently they don't work on Sundays."

You've suddenly become aware of the fact that Bada has never been inside your apartment. The idea of her being inside the same room as you, sitting on your furniture, breathing in the scent of your home, sends a wave of heat down your spine. Maybe it was best to reject her offer and suggest another solution.

"Come on in!" you say, and open the door.

"Thank you," she breathes out, walking in, and your eyes rake over her figure as she passes by you.

She looks around, taking in the sight of your apartment. You notice her eyes linger on some of your old pictures from your hometown.

"Your apartment is really nice," she tells you, and you feel a rush of pride.

"Thank you! Feel free to take a seat wherever," you reply, gesturing towards the couch, and she sits, throwing her head back as she lets out a sigh of relief.

"You're a lifesaver," she declares, and you plop down next to her.

"What happened?" you ask, and she shakes her head.

”I wish I knew. I went to turn on my AC and it just, didn’t come on. Completely out of the blue.”

"That sucks," you respond, and she nods, a grim expression on her face.

"So," she begins, turning her head towards you. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," you answer, and then remember the slice of cake on the dresser. You point to it. "Would you like some?"

"Yes, please," she says, nodding fervently. "Water would be great, too, if you don't mind."

Grateful to put some distance between the two of you, you practically bounce out of your seat. "Coming right up!"

You return with two glasses of water and your cake. She thanks you, and you hand her a fork, taking one for yourself.

"This is really good, y/n. Did you make this too?" she praises, and you nod.

"I did. Thanks," you reply, taking a bite.

"You really need to give me the recipe for these things. Or start selling them! I'd buy them all," she compliments, and you blush, waving her off.

You stare at the ground for a moment, before laughing bitterly. "That was supposed to be the goal, I guess.”

She furrows her eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

You inhale slowly, prepping yourself. You hated this. But maybe you needed this. "I used to have my own bakery. In my hometown That's actually where I moved from. But then my landlord jacked the rent up and I couldn't afford it, and I was forced to close," you explain.

"Oh." She frowns. "That's awful. What a jerk."

"Tell me about it," you mumble, carelessly dropping your fork on the table.

"Are you looking for another place here?" she asks, and you nod.

"Yeah. There's a lot of great spots in Seoul, but there's one building in particular that I've had my eye on. It's not far from the Han River, and the rent is relatively cheap, and it's got everything I could possibly need. I'm just waiting to hear back from the that landlord. We were negotiating and things were going pretty well. But now its been months. I haven't heard from him since I moved here."

You blink back tears, and clear your throat, picking up the fork again. Whenever you think of everything that's happened to you recently, you cannot help but feel like an utter failure. You worked hard, finally achieved success, only for things to all fall apart. It seemed as if all of your efforts were for nothing.

"Hey," she whispers, and her voice is soft, calming. "It's gonna be okay."

She gently squeezes your arm, and her touch is warm. You look at her, and the tenderness in her eyes is enough to make you want to cry more.

"I know. It's just hard, sometimes," you confess, and her hand remains on your arm.

"I get that, but I can promise you that what you're going through is temporary. I can't tell you how many times I thought I was done for good when I first started out, but now, I've come this far. If you keep your head up, and just keep working hard, you'll make it. You’ve done it before.”

Her words resonate with you, and her unwavering support fills you with hope. "Thanks, Bada," you respond, smiling.

"Of course," she responds, her eyes never leaving yours. "I'm here for you."

"I'm here for you too," you whisper.

A moment of silence passes, and your eyes travel to her hand. Her skin is smooth, and her fingers are long and slender. You wonder what they'd feel like intertwined with yours.

"Um, I’ve been meaning to ask," she says, interrupting your thoughts, and your eyes meet hers again. "Any new dramas you wanted to tell me about? Or, what about the one with that married couple you talked about?”

You almost laugh at her obvious attempt to distract you from your depressing thoughts.

"Pretty good," you reply, and she gives you a pointed look.

"And by pretty good, you mean..."

"Amazing, wonderful, mind-blowing, spectacular," you continue, and she nods, satisfied. "I was actually watching it before you knocked on the door."

"Ooh, really?" she responds, eyes widening.

"Yeah. Would you like to watch it together?" you suggest, and she grins.

"Yes, please."

"Okay," you giggle, and grab the remote, pressing play.

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Halfway through the episode, you decide to move to your bedroom (because the AC works better in there, of course!). Somehow, while lying on the bed, your legs become intertwined. She's sprawled out, and her head is resting in the crook of your neck, her soft hair tickling your face.

You can feel her steady breathing, and the heat radiating off her body, and all of your senses are filled with her. You're so focused on her that you can't even focus on the episode.

"Y/n?" she murmurs, and her voice is low, quiet.

"Yeah?" you reply, voice equally as soft.

"Would it be weird if I said that I'm glad my air conditioner broke?"

You snort, and her body shakes with silent laughter. "Not at all."

You pause the show, and sit up. She does the same, and her eyes are shining.

"Do you want anything to eat? I've got chips, and some ice cream," you offer, and she bites her lip.

"Not really. Thanks, though," she responds, and your eyes travel to her lips. They're plump and pink, and you're tempted to reach out and kiss her.

"Okay, no problem," you say, and her gaze is intense, burning.

"Thanks for letting me come over. I appreciate it."

"Of course," you murmur, and then clear your throat. "Anytime."

"Really?"

"Yeah! You can even stay the night, if you want. I don't mind," you respond, and her eyebrows raise, lips curling upwards.

"Okay," she answers, and leans forward, cupping your face in her hands.

The action surprises you, and you let out a gasp. She pauses, eyes searching yours, and you nod, giving her permission.

She leans forward, and you close your eyes, waiting for her to press her lips against yours. Instead, you feel a pair of lips softly kissing your forehead, and your cheeks, and your jaw, and your nose, and then they finally, finally press against yours.

The kiss is gentle and sweet, and when she pulls away, her eyes are filled with affection.

"I've wanted to do that for so long," she admits, and you chuckle.

"Me too," you whisper, and her smile grows wider.

She moves closer to you, and you wrap your arms around her, pulling her into a hug. Her body is soft, and her skin is smooth, and you can feel her warmth seeping into your skin.

"I really like you, y/n," she whispers, and you tighten your hold on her.

"I really like you too, Bada," you respond, and she nuzzles her face into the crook of your neck. You're in heaven.

"Thank god. I was afraid I was making a fool out of myself," she confesses, and you giggle.

"What? Oh my god. Not at all," you assure her, and she pulls away, a smirk on her face.

"So, I was right about you wanting details?"

"Oh fuck you," you mutter, pulling her back into a significantly more aggressive kiss. A surprised noise escapes her lips, but she eventually melts into it, moving against you with equal fervor. Her hands run up and down your sides, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind, and you're so caught up in the sensation that you don't even realize when she starts straddling you until she presses her body against yours in a way that has you gasping.

Your hands travel underneath her shirt, feeling the smoothness of her warm skin, the lines of her stomach, the swell of her breasts, and the curves of her waist. She groans into the kiss before slipping her tongue into your mouth, causing heat to pool in the pit of your stomach.

When you pull away, she's panting, and her lips are swollen. Her hair is slightly mussed, and her pupils are dilated, her eyes filled with desire. Without words, you both begin removing each other's clothes, tossing them to the side. She's left in only a black bra and boxers, and you have to remind yourself to move.

She chuckles, and you stare at her chest. You can see the outline of her nipples, and you reach out, brushing a thumb against them, and she bites her lip, closing her eyes. You can feel her heart beating rapidly, and you trace circles around her nipples, and she lets out a shaky breath.

"Please," she begs, and you smile, pulling her into another kiss.

Your hands move lower, caressing the skin of her thighs, and then you're cupping her center, and she gasps, pulling away.

"Y/n," she pants, and the sound of her moaning your name sends another rush of heat down your spine.

"Bada," you breathe out, and press kisses against her jawline, and down her neck, and collarbone, and chest. Your hand is still between her thighs, and she bucks her hips, trying to find friction.

"Y/n, please," she repeats, and the desperation in her voice is so fucking hot.

You slip a finger inside her, and you feel her walls immediately clench, followed by a whimper you're not sure belongs to you or her. You curl your finger inside her, and her head falls back into the crook of your neck as she rolls her hips, grinding against your palm.

"More," she practically demands, and you add another finger.

She's soaking wet, and the lewd sounds coming from your fingers sliding in and out of her has you squeezing your thighs together, desperate for some sort of relief.

You use your thumb to rub circles on her clit, and her movements become more erratic, her moans becoming louder.

"I'm gonna-ugh," she pants, and her nails dig into your skin as she orgasms.

You can feel her walls clenching and unclenching, and her body trembles, her eyes squeezed shut. She breathes heavily, and the sight of her is enough to drive you wild.

You continue stroking her until she opens her eyes, and you can't help but grin.

"Holy shit," she manages, and you remove your fingers, and she lets out a moan.

"Good?"

"Yes," she replies, and leans forward, capturing your lips in a heated kiss.

"Now," she begins, breaking away. "Let me take care of you."

You can only nod as she reaches for your breasts, fondling them, and her eyes never leave yours. She's smirking, and the intensity in her gaze is enough to make your heart skip a beat.

You close your eyes, enjoying the sensation, and you nearly jump when you feel her body shift, her lips pressing against the sensitive skin of your neck.

She moves down, taking a nipple into her mouth, and you groan, arching your back. Her lips travel to your stomach, and then your thighs, and then you're lifting your hips, and she's sliding your underwear off.

"Spread your legs, y/n," she requests, and her voice is low, seductive.

You obey immediately, and then her tongue is inside you, and her fingers are on your clit, and your entire body is on fire. She sucks on your clit, and then makes headway further down, sliding her tongue inside you. You can't stop the moans that escape from your mouth, and you're certain the whole complex can hear, but you don't care.

Suddenly, she stops, and looks up at you. Your eyes snap open, annoyed by the interruption until you observe the way he's smiling, her chin slick with your wetness.s

"I wanna try something," she begins, and she sits up, scanning the room. "Where's that thing you got the other day?"

You bite back a moan. "Nightstand drawer."

She opens it, and takes out a small, pink object. Your face flushes as she turns it on, the vibrations audible in the otherwise quiet room.

"Is this okay?" she asks, and you nod, eager.

"Yes," you answer, and her mouth returns to your center.

She teases your entrance with the object, and the combination of her tongue and the vibrator has you squirming, your hands finding their way to her head, holding her in place.

"Oh god," you whimper, and the pleasure is indescribable.

Her tongue picks up speed, and then the vibrator enters you, and you nearly scream.

She pushes the toy in and out, and as it vibrates against your clit, and begin to feel like you can't take anymore. Your back arches, and a wave of euphoria washes over you as your orgasm hits, and the only thing you can see is the light from the lamp and the white of the ceiling.

When you regain control of your senses, you can feel her body lying on top of yours, her head on your chest. You lay in silence, trying to catch your breath, and it isn't until you hear her voice that you speak.

"How are you doing?"

"Sleepy," you mumble, and she smiles, pecking you on the lips.

"Then let's go to sleep."

You can only nod as your eyes slowly close and your mind becomes hazy. Before you drift off completely, you think to yourself that this might've been the best night you've had since moving here.

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Two weeks later, you and Bada are going up the elevator to your respective apartments after a walk from your job. You'd just spent the past hour gossiping in between taking customer's orders. Apparently, Mijoo and Naeun are going out. Figures. You hoped it worked out for them, but nobody was beating the blissful few weeks you've.

The two of you are holding hands, and your free one is holding a box containing a dozen chocolate chip cookies, made especially for Bada.

"I'm thinking of moving out," she suddenly states, and the statement catches you off guard.

"What? Why?" you ask, and she shrugs.

"It's about time. I can afford a better place, and I'm ready to move on from the apartment life. I need a house."

"I can understand that," you reply, nodding.

"You should move in with me," she continues, and the statement makes you laugh.

"What? Are you crazy? We just got together."

"Who cares? I want to live with you. Don't you want to live with me?" she responds, pouting, and she gives you puppy dog eyes.

"Yes, but...," you pause, and you can tell from the expression on her face that she's serious.

"But what? What's the problem?"

"Nothing. Let's do it."

"Really?"

"Yes, really," you confirm, and she beams, leaning in to kiss you.

You can't believe what you just agreed to. But, in a way, you're relieved. Maybe this will finally bring a sense of finality to everything that's happened.

"Damn, guess I'm gonna have to tell Jennifer about us. She's coming out here soon," you mutter, opening your email app. You go to type in your friend's email, but your eyes land on an unread email in your inbox, sent two weeks ago. It's from an unknown sender, and the subject is 'Regarding Your Application.'

Your eyes widen, and Bada nosily peers over your shoulder, reading the words.

"What's that?" she asks, and you gulp.

"I don't know."

"Open it!" she exclaims, and you do.

Y/N,

This is Kim Sung Soo, the owner of the property you inquired about. I was out of town for business and unable to contact you regarding your application. I've looked through the papers, and everything seems to be in order. I'd like to meet up with you so we can further discuss the terms of the lease before we finalize anything. When are you available?

"Oh my god," Bada gasps, and she stares at you, wide-eyed.

"What the hell?" you whisper, and Bada squeals.

"Oh, y/n! This is so exciting! Congratulations! I knew it would work out. Now, you can start your bakery, and we can move in together, and oh, my god, I'm so happy!"

"I'm confused," you mutter barely believing your luck, and the elevator dings, indicating that the two of you have arrived.

"Don't worry about it, okay? Come on, let's go have some cookies," she says, tugging on your arm.

You nod, following her down the hall without a hint of resistance. As you watch the woman drag you with a giant smile on her face, you cannot help but giggle. Who knew you'd find home and happiness in such an unlikely place?

#bada lee #bada lee fanfic #bada lee imagine #bada lee fluff #bada lee x reader #bada lee x y/n #street woman fighter 2 #swf2

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criticallyacclaimedstranger · 6 months

Text

All The Fear and The Fire of The End of The World [Joel Miller x artist!reader]

Read on Ao3

Sequel to The Artist and the Builder

Fandom: The Last of Us

Ship: Joel Miller x you/artist!reader who is his age and has arthritis and allergies (although that's not really addressed in this one)

Tags/warnings: ANGST, bit of h/c, Panic attacks, reader is sick, Joel has anxiety. That's about it, but please stay safe is panic attacks is something that triggers you <3

Summary: Joel has told Ellie about what happened in Salt Lake City, and she is livid with him. Seeking comfort with you, Joel however finds you in the grips of a nasty flu, and has to put his own needs aside to nurse you.

Words: 3,799

A/N: Title is from Hozier's Wasteland, Baby! Couldn't resist: All the fear and the fire of the end of the world, happens each time a boy falls in love with a girl...

Thank you to @pazizz for having a read before it was finished!

Joel hasn't had an attack like this in a long time - not since he and Ellie settled in Jackson - but now, it's bad.

His heart is being squeezed like a stress ball, his lungs are not taking in fresh air, his throat is constricted. Panic floods his brain as he clutches at his collar. He can't breathe, can't think, can't -

Ellie's screamed words echo in the fiber of his being.

How could you? I hate you! Don't talk to me ever again!

He had finally told her the truth about what had happened at the hospital, why she didn't get to save the world. And Ellie shut him out.

You took my decision away from me!

How could she even consider dying for a cure that wasn't guaranteed? How could she not see that she was the light of his entire life?

How could he not tell her the truth from the start?

Joel stumbles onto one knee, the guilt taking his legs from under him. He fights to breathe, his right fist closes, and he bangs it into the floor. Again. Again. Pain reverberates through his hand and arm, and that jerks him out of his mental anguish.

He punches the floor until the skin of his knuckles break, and he can breathe normally again. Greedily gulping down air in a way that sounds like sobbing - but he is not fucking crying - Joel slowly gets back onto his feet. His knuckles are aching, his arm feels battered, but he grabs his coat, and heads out. Hurrying through the snowy streets of Jackson, he barely notices anyone passing by. He's in a hurry, hurting hand hidden in his jacket pocket, internal compass pointing to your house.

He needs comfort, your soothing hands. He needs to know that he did what he could.

Even if it was you who pushed him into telling Ellie, he knows you were right to encourage him to do it. And he needs you now that Ellie has denounced him. You won't judge him for waiting so long.

He walks into your house without knocking. His throat feels almost constricted when he enters the living-room, expecting to find you in front of the fireplace, immersed in one of your projects. But you're not there, and the fire is nothing but a heap of embers. Frowning, Joel calls your name again. It's not like you to leave the fire unattended or leave on the lights. He walks over to the bedroom door and pushes it open.

There's a pile of blankets on the bed. When his eyes get used to the twilight in the room, he sees that there's a body underneath the layers of covers.

He speaks your name, and the pile of blankets moves. For a second his heart seizes, and panic rises within him. Not you too, he can't stand it!

Then you croak his name, and he knows what's up.

You're so cold. You've never been this cold in your life, and no amount of blankets is helping. Good God, how is it even possible to be so cold, to shake so hard? Your muscles are aching with how much you're shaking, and you can't do anything about it.

You hear Joel's voice close to you, and you will your eyes open, even if using your vision is making your headache worse.

Joel's face swims somewhere above you. Through the brain fog, you hear him ask you how you are.

"Just a slight temperature," you mumble, then feel Joel's callused hand on your forehead.

"You're burning up."

He takes off his jacket, and gets in bed with you, digging himself underneath the blankets until he's right next to you. Fitting his form to yours, he wraps his arm around you to bring you in even closer.

"You're shaking!"

"Jus' need a nap..."

"You need a lot more than that, darlin'."

You mumble something as your eyes fall shut. His body heat has already started to spill onto you, and slowly, you stop shaking, and start relaxing.

"How long have you been like this?" His voice is soft, his breath so warm against your skin. You want to crawl into his voice, melt into the rich, deep syllables, dissolve from this aching body.

"Had to leave the clinic around midday," you slur. Speaking seems difficult. Your throat is sore, your head feels like it's about to explode.

"Are there any meds?"

"No."

"Then it's rest and liquids for you."

You're already drifting off, secure in his arms. Joel feels you relax and become heavy, your audible breathing slowing down. Gently, he strokes a couple of stray hairs from your face, tucking them behind your ear, and notes that your hairline is damp with sweat. When he's certain that you're not waking up, he carefully disentangles himself from you, and gets up from the bed.

His own heartache is forgotten when he rummages through the cupboards of your kitchen, finding your teas made from dried herbs and flowers. He gathers towels, finds a bucket for water, gathers whatever he can find that will help him take care of you. He returns to the bedroom to check on you before leaving your house to get something to eat from the dining-hall, and see Jackson's doctor.

The doc has, naturally, nothing to prescribe except bedrest and liquid, which Joel had already figured out. What little drugs there are, must be saved for the truly sick. He's luckier at the dining-hall: he gets a big portion of chicken broth from one of the women working there.

"This will cure anything," she promises, and Joel thanks her gruffly. He hurries home to you, finding you exactly where he left you.

You sleep for hours. Focusing his attention on you, wiping your forehead whenever it gets too shiny, listening to your wheezing breaths, Joel forgets about the pressure over his own chest. He can't forget about Ellie, her anger, her words, but he doesn't succumb to anxiety over what happened.

When you wake up, the things Ellie said are pushed to the back of his brain.

You're like a cat waking up from anesthesia: unable to walk but hell-bent on doing it.

"Need the toilet," you mumble, and Joel supports you to the bathroom. You're freezing once you slump down on the toilet seat, and he turns around to give you some privacy.

"Go away," you moan, bent over with you aching head in your hands.

"I've seen women piss before, so do what you have to so that I can help you back to bed," he retorts, and you scoff weakly before releasing a stream of urine that seems searing hot. You manage to wipe yourself and wash your hands before you have to lean on Joel again.

"We need to get you out of these sweaty clothes," he tells you, but you're loath to get undressed.

"It's so cold," you whine, but you're in no position to fight him on it.

He puts his own flannel on you before taking you back to bed, where he coaxes two spoonfuls of broth into you, and almost half a cup of tea, until you shake your head. He gives up, and lets you curl up to sleep. The winter darkness is falling but he turns on the bedside lamp so that he can see your face, its lines stressed by the lamplight and sickness, your forehead shiny with fever, your lips separated as you snore. For a long time, he just watches you, like he's looking for an answer in your features.

Eventually, he turns off the light, rises from his chair, and leaves the bedroom to start a fire in the living-room fireplace.

Your temperature is up the next day so Joel brings the doc, who can't do anything except encourage him to continue doing what he's been doing so far. You're mostly asleep, delirious when you're not, and still so, so cold. Joel does his best to get fluids in you, and a couple of spoonfuls of chicken soup, but it's hard when you're either limp in his arms or shaking.

By afternoon, he's exhausted. Tommy comes by to check on both him and you, and he brings food. Joel never even thought about eating himself.

Sitting on opposite sides of the kitchen table, Joel opens the lunch box and devours its contents.

"I saw Ellie earlier today. She seemed upset, what's up with her?" Tommy wants to know. Joel winces from the painful stab in his heart.

"Nothing's up with Ellie."

"Liar."

Joel looks up from the food at his brother. Tommy knows him too well.

"I told her. About what happened in Salt Lake City."

"That didn't go well."

"It didn't."

Joel looks down again and stuffs his mouth with the rest of the food. The conversation is over for his part, and Tommy knows better than to push it.

"She'll come round."

Joel grunts, and they both sit in silence for a while before Tommy rises.

"I gotta get back to work. Lemme know if you need anything."

Joel clears his throat. "If you see Ellie... tell her I'm not coming back to the house for a while. I don't want her to have to move out."

"Sure, bro."

Tommy pats Joel on the back as he passes him by, and when the front door closes, Joel follows to lock it. He then comes to the bedroom, kicks off his boots, and crawls into bed next to you. His fingers tremble slightly when he touches your forehead, still finding you burning hot. Carefully, not wanting to wake you, he fits himself to your body, puts his head down, and watches you through the grey winter light.

Caring for you has kept him busy enough to not dwell too much on what happened with Ellie, but now his brain is buzzing with her last words to him, her rage and disappointment, his failure. He owes Ellie so much, and he failed her.

His unavailable heart has been locked inside his closed chest for so long, until Ellie cracked it open. Ellie, with her courage, innocence, those stupid puns that she loves so much, and that Joel can’t help smiling at. How could he have surrendered her to the Fireflies? His relationship with Ellie had developed from duty to decency before finally unfolding into love. He has already known the worst pain in his life, and he wasn’t going to live through that again. He simply could not give Ellie up.

And now he has lost her anyway, and he might lose you too.

"You get well," he whispers, assured that you can't hear his dramatic, pathetic plea, even when it's directed at you. "My heart can't take it if you don't make it, you hear me? Don't you dare die on me."

You offer him no sign of having heard him. He swallows, his throat tight, and presses his eyes shut, praying that sleep will take his worries away.

Your violent coughing wakes him up. He blinks blearily in the dark room before he gets his bearings, his arm going around the body that is convulsing next to him. It's a wet cough, rattling in your lungs, and it's new. He sits up in bed, hands on you, like that's going to help. As if anything he does helps. He hates the feeling on not being able to help.

When your coughing subsides, you groan and mumble something.

"What's that, darlin'?"

"My head," you repeat, voice raspy and thin.

"Just lay still."

"Thirsty."

Joel promptly rolls out of bed and goes to get a fresh glass of water from the kitchen. When he sits by your side to help you drink it, he realizes that you're no longer shaking. You take little sips before slumping back against the pillow, your face ashen and your eyes matted, but when he feels your forehead, he can tell you no longer have a fever. That has to be a good sign, right?

“How are you feelin’?” he asks, knowing immediately that it is a stupid question. You open your mouth, but instead of words coming out, there is a bout of coughing. Joel grimaces sympathetically as he takes the glass from your hand to avoid you spilling on yourself.

“Been better,” you finally wheeze, reaching for the glass again as soon as the coughing subsides. He gets up to go refill it, and you drowsily look around the room.

“What day is it?”

“Tuesday,” he calls back from the kitchen.

You let that sink in. When Joel comes back in, he clearly sees your confusion.

“You’ve been out of it for a few days, yeah.”

“And you’ve been here the whole time?”

He hands you the refilled glass but averts his eyes when he replies.

“Someone had to look out for you.”

You drink more greedily now, the cold water lashing its way down your scratchy throat in a way that makes you feel more alert despite the discomfort. Joel takes your glass when you’re finished, puts it on the nightstand, and pulls the covers more snugly around you.

“I’m fine,” you tell him, somewhat amused at his fussing. “You should go home. Has Ellie even seen you since I got sick?”

He freezes, pain flashing across his face before his features turn to cold, hard stone. But you saw it, plain as day.

“Joel?”

He doesn’t answer, and your fear rises.

“Joel, is Ellie alright?”

“Yes.” The answer comes promptly, but the three letters contain a world of events and emotions that you, despite your current state, need to know more of.

“What happened?”

“We’ll talk about it later, darlin’. You need to rest.”

“We’ll talk about it now.” You stress the last word with a rise in volume and pitch, which brings about another bout of coughing. When you’re done, Joel gives you a disapproving glare.

“You’re not well.”

“Duh. Now tell me, or do I have to get out of this bed and go find Ellie myself?”

He sighs deeply, jaw squared as he stares out of the open bedroom door. You wait as he gathers himself.

“I told her. About Salt Lake City.”

“And she didn’t take it well?”

“No. She never wants to see me again. She hates me.”

“Joel…”

Joel can’t look at you. Not even his brother knows the whole story, but he has told you, one late night after the two of you had fucked and were sharing whispered secrets in each other’s arms. He couldn’t keep you in the dark, you’re too important. With all that he has lost in life, with all of his scars and traumas, he got to know Ellie, and he got to know you. When he least expected it, you came along, with your way of seeing the world, its light and its shadows, your body as aching as his but your mind nowhere near as broken. Your ribs bend open so easily for your heart to do what hearts do best. And that kept his chest from closing again now that Ellie hates him.

He’s so grateful for you. And so ashamed.

Tears burn in his eyes and when you sit up and put your hand on his shoulder, he draws a sobbing breath. Goddammit.

“It’s okay, Joel,” you rasp. “We’ll figure it out.”

He passes his hands over his face, wills his tears away, but the more he fights it, the more constricted his chest feels.

No, not now, not when he needs to stay strong for you!

“Joel?”

“Be right back,” he presses, standing up so quickly that the world spins for a second, and his first two steps are wobbly. He hears you speak his name again, but he hurries out to the kitchen, finding support from the sink, his head swimming, his heart beating so fast he thinks it’s going to explode but at the same time he can’t breathe, his throat is closed, he can’t breathe, he can’t breathe, Jesus fucking Christ he’s having a heart attack –

“Joel!”

Your hands are on him, turning him around. At the end of his tunnel vision is your haggard face, and through the roar in his ears – where did that come from and what is it? – he can hear your voice.

“Joel? Listen to my voice. Feel my touch. You’re okay, baby, you’re okay. I promise. You can breathe. Just take a deep breath, that’s it, just like that, and exhale. Good, go ahead, take another one. That’s great, Joel, just like that.”

Without even noticing, your hoarse voice has pushed through the panic and the pain and the noises, and he finds himself breathing deeply, consciously, his heart slowing down. He blinks a couple of times, and his eyesight is back to normal. You’re in front of him, nodding your encouragement. He wets his lips, wants to say something, but then his knees buckle under him, and before he knows it, both of you are on the floor, you from trying to help him, your still weak body no match for his weight.

You’re coughing, and he collects you in his arms, ignoring the smarting in his elbow. It keeps him sharp.

“You okay?” he asks you as soon as you’re done coughing. You nod against his chest, wheezing breath keeping you from speaking. He holds you closer when you shiver slightly, and when you embrace him back, he feels a lot better.

“What about you?”

“I’m good, darlin’, don’t worry about me.”

“That was a panic attack, Joel, and not a small one.”

He frowns, looks down at you.

“I have a heart problem.”

“Maybe so, but that wasn’t a heart attack. It was a panic attack.”

“How would you know?”

You roll your eyes at him, even though it hurts your head.

“I’m a nurse, Joel.”

He has to chuckle at your tone, but you’re not amused.

“I also had a sister who suffered panic attacks from a young age. It differs from person to person, but what I did to you worked on her. Seemed to work on you as well.”

“It… did. Thank you.”

“How long have you – “ you start, but he interrupts you, though not unkindly.

“Can we… not talk about it right now? I’m exhausted, and you need to rest.”

You agree, and with combined forces, the two of you manage to get off the floor and drag yourselves back to the bedroom. You collapse on the bed together and just barely find the energy to arrange yourselves comfortably before both of you are out.

You sleep uneasily, your cough waking you up constantly. Your head is still aching, and your throat is lined with needles when you swallow, not to mention how much your lungs hurt when you cough, but you’re hungry for the first time since you got sick.

You hear a light snore next to you, so you turn your head. Joel is deep asleep, turned away from you, sleeping on his good ear. Your hacking must have disturbed him because you’re quite sure that he was holding you when you went to sleep.

Slowly, gently, you place your hand between his shoulder blades. He’s warm, sweaty even, in his flannel and no doubt from his attack earlier. But he seems at ease now: his broad back is relaxed, his breaths are deep and even, and he doesn’t move when touched. Carefully, you scoot closer, a tickle in your throat threatening to grow into a cough, but you manage to keep it down. Your arm goes around his waist, and you mold yourself to his form, spooning him tightly, your hand finding a soft spot on his belly to rest against. His breath stutters and changes, but other than his hand clumsily finding yours, he doesn’t move.

He smells of old sweat, and you don’t feel too fresh yourself. The thought of taking a shower with him once he wakes up sets off a pull deep within your lower belly, and you smile as you feel your cheeks heat up. Even when struggling through the worst flu you’ve ever experienced, you can’t keep from fantasizing about the things this man can do with his hands, his mouth, his cock…

You take it he’s to stay with you now, which means that you have to tidy up the living-room, make room for him, but you find yourself not minding. You want him there, you want to go to sleep and wake up with him next to you, and once you get well you want to wake up with your hands all over each other, his mouth on your skin, his rare smiles over breakfast.

The thought of breakfast makes your stomach growl, and you feel a little faint. It’s definitely time to eat something. Gently, you move away from Joel, rousing him when your arm leaves his waist. He rolls over onto his back and rubs his eyes before looking at you.

“Hi,” you smile, patting his arm. “You sleep if you need to. I gotta eat.”

“What time is it?”

“No idea, but it’s still light outside.”

“I’ll fix us something.”

“It’s fine, I’m on it.”

You get out of bed, your legs a little weak but still carrying you, and go to the bathroom first. Joel’s heavy steps are heard making their way to the kitchen, and when you appear in the doorway, he’s already making tea and heating up broth.

“I’ll get something from the kitchens,” he tells you without looking up. “Better see my brother too, let him know we’re alive.”

You walk up to him, feeling a little bit like Bambi on the ice, but you make it, and you wrap your arms around him from behind, and rest your cheek to his back. Joel stops what he’s doing, muscles flexing before relaxing, and his hands come to rest on top of yours.

“You okay, sweetheart?”

“Uh-huh.”

He turns around until he’s facing you, and there is something soft in his eyes when he cups your cheeks with his big, warm hands and leans his forehead to yours. Both of you exhale audibly, then smile together. You lick your lips, clear your throat.

“Joel…”

“I love you.” His fingers make small, soothing circles behind your ears.

He beat you to it, the rascal.

“I love you, Joel. We’ll fix this. You’ll stay with me, and we’ll figure it out.”

“Thank you.”

He tilts his head a little, lips ghosting over yours. You draw back.

“I don’t want you to catch what I have.”

“I don’t care.”

He kisses you, and you let yourself melt into it, into the assurance that Joel Miller is yours, body and soul.

#joel miller fanfic #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #the last of us fanfic #my fic

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creampie-capital · 1 year

Text

║The Demon Childhood Friend║║━ Pt. 1 ━║

꧁𓊈𒆜 ━━━━━━━━━ 𒆜𓊉꧂

Male Monster x Fem! Reader Word count║12,600

The Devil May Lick Me Masterlist ━━━➤ 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥 𝐌𝐚𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐌𝐞

↳.·:*¨༺𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧༻¨*:·.

↳║The Demon Childhood Friend║║━ Pt. 2 ━║ - in development

꧁𓊈𒆜 ━━━━━━━━━ 𒆜𓊉꧂

Photo Reference Cred ━━━➤ 9taeX on X (Twitter)

Do not steal, copy, or repost anywhere. My work is currently on both CREAMPIE_CAPITAL on wattpad and Imtropicalbaby on Quotev. If posted on another account or website, please report and notify me immediately.

Now onto the story :)

꧁𓊈𒆜 ━━━━━━━━━ 𒆜𓊉꧂

(Y/n) - Six years old

꧁𓊈𒆜 ━━━━━━━━━ 𒆜𓊉꧂

"Hey! Why are you sitting there all alone?"

The movement of your legs stalled on the swing as you peered up through your hair. You hadn't expected two boys to appear in front of you like a flash of lightning.

One of them had leaned down while tilting his head of light bubblegum pink hair. It was long, pulled into a high ponytail with bangs that split in the middle over his pale forehead. He observed your small stature sitting on the swing with otherworldy optics like he held the ocean in his iris.

His eyes were doe-like and hooded, gracing him with a curious, youthful face that probably won over the hearts of young and old women. Lastly, before you diverted your attention away, you observed the golden halo hovering above his head.

The one beside him was a lot shorter and appeared apathetic as if he were annoyed to be here at the park. He had rather dark, woolly blond hair with nice curls that were longer by the back of his head. Even as he kept his small body at an angle, looking off into the distance, you were still able to see the vibrant scarlet colors in his iris'.

Small angled eyes with long dark lashes could have had him mistaken for female if it were not for his facial features or body. Interestingly enough, unlike his counterpart, a pair of crystal-like horns sprouted from the top of his head.

They were small, too, like little baby horns of a goat. It would be blind of you not to mention their set of wings, one a soft fluff of white feathers hidden beneath a long-sleeved shirt. The other, dark, leather in texture and featherless, curled inwards behind his back.

"Mom and Dad were arguing again." You murmur while dropping your small hands that held onto the chain on top of your lap.

The angel boy raised his brow as his small lips formed into an o-shape. "Ah! You're the new girl that just moved in next to mine!" He stuck out his hand and offered it as he grinned boyishly. "I'm Javan, and this is my bestfriend Zagan. He also lives just down the street."

You stared at his rather thin fingers for a moment before reaching for it with a bleak expression. Yet once your skin touched him, your entire stomach became a ball of heated lava, and the cynical emotions running rampant in your young mind became non-existent.

The dark thoughts omitted from your mentality...it all became so clear.

"What's your name?" Javan questioned as he held your hand firmly while that bright grin remained on his face.

You had to swallow thickly before you could answer. "(Y/n)...I'm (Y/n)."

"Nice to meet you!" He beamed before looking over at the demon boy. "Why don't we include (Y/n) into the group!? You know we kids need to stick together!"

Zagan glanced at you for a moment before sighing and crossing his arms over this sweater. He didn't speak; probably didn't want another person to come into their already-established friendship and steal his best friend.

It was understandable.

"Oh, Zagan agrees! Then help me push her!" Before you could reply, Javan and Zagan appeared behind you and began pushing your back on the swing.

It didn't take long for you to start moving. Creaking reverberated around the park as the setting sun painted the sky with molten gold.

The wind rushing past your ear felt exhilarating, your heart skipping a beat as the sensation of your stomach dropping provoked tingling sensations to surge through your body.

You had never gotten so high, so high that you can touch the clouds. It felt like you could finally do it... as if you could finally flutter away on a pair of wings.

Weightless, feather-like, you could fly away anywhere but here.

One of your arms stuck out to the dimming sky. You wanted to grasp that warmness and hold it close to your heart, never to let it go ever again.

And for a moment, it felt like you were doing it. Until the air swooshed past your ear, and your body was descending swiftly.

"(Y/n)!"

The darkness of night took over as the lamps flashed with murky color.

And the chill ate you alive until you were swathed in that same lava-like heat from before. Your eyes drifted from the sky to Javan's face, who held you firmly.

His wings had torn from his clothes to beat in the air as he slowly descended until he kneeled and sat you down on the tire chips.

"Are you okay?" He questioned you, face full of worry, ocean blue eyes filled with dread.

The words felt caught in your throat.

A burning sensation sprouted in your chest, and it took everything in you not to cry. But when Zagan ambled over to kneel on the other side of your figure and lightly touched your shoulder, you felt overwhelmed.

So you cried and bawled and wailed so hard that you were choking on air. Your face burned, the heat on your cheeks and ears hot like the burner on the stove.

Wet tears fell as though they were never-ending, wetting your face and drenching your top. An ache so tense and strained gripped at your heart, squeezing to where you felt lightheaded.

Zagan and Javan hadn't said a word as they kneeled by your side and let you cry your heart out.

꧁𓊈𒆜 ━━━━━━━━━ 𒆜𓊉꧂

(Y/n) - Ten years old

꧁𓊈𒆜 ━━━━━━━━━ 𒆜𓊉꧂

A tap resonated from your window as you hid beneath your comforter, reading the superhero comic book with a rather bulky flashlight.

You had ignored it, mouthing the words on printed paper to yourself to practice your pronunciation. Turning the page, your lips parted to speak, and yet another tap at your window startled your movement.

For a moment, you sat in silence, hearing it again before thrusting the blanket overhead. It was hot and stuffy under the covering that once you were out, the chilly breeze of the central air rose goosebumps over your skin.

You nearly tripped, scooting off your bed and running over to your window. Kneeling over the cushioned bench, you forced it open to stick your head out.

Zagan and Javan hovered in the air of your second-story house with their wings. They've grown a lot since you first met them; well, the pink-haired one grew the most.

He grew taller, his limbs longer, and his hair, tied in a high ponytail, reached the small of his back. His halo now pulsated brightly with the pure white aileron's lengthier, far longer than the length of a car.

Zagan, on the other hand, remained the shortest, shorter than you. He still had a lot of baby fat on his cheeks that were framed by his golden curls that grew longer, reaching his shoulders. Though, if something had grown, it had to have been his leathery bat-like wings that extended to such a length that you were surprised it was not getting stuck in the tree branches.

"Baby girl!" The angel boy greeted as he smiled brightly and fluttered his white feathered wings.

That nickname used to be an insult because of how you cried your eyes out when they first met you. But then they both casually referred to you by it since you liked to call them Angel Boy and Demon Boy.

When they call you it, you swear all your worries melt away, and you become a small little jewel that they cherish like a national treasure.

You felt special and valued, adored by people who didn't see fault in your every move.

Instead of responding back joyfully as you usually would, you crossed your arms and turned the other way. "I'm not talking to you two! Not after you guys got me grounded!" Your young adolescent voice expresses out.

The demon boy frowns while he twiddles his fingers behind his back with his batty aileron's twitching.

J had clicked his tongue and shrugged rather nonchalantly in his grey windbreaker. "You can't blame us forever, Baby! You were the one that wanted to fly to the satellite tower-"

You flung your head towards the angel while sneering. "Yeah, but you both were the ones that flew into the camera with the news reporter! When my dad saw it, he flipped and took away all my privileges! That's why I'm still grounded after three months!" Your response only spurs the young boy to rub the back of his neck sheepishly.

He could only grin and hope that bright smile he knew you loved would cheer you up. It was irritable how right he was. Although you were still upset, you wavered without even a fight.

Javan was just someone you couldn't be mad at, and Zagan as well. Not when the demon looked like he would faint when you would ignore him and vice versa for you with the angel.

"You guys are so lucky." You whine while sitting down on your bench and resting one of your arms on the windowsill. "Your parents never ground either of you."

The angel quirks a lopsided grin as he wags one of his fingers. "You can't get in trouble if they don't know~" His teasing remark spurs you to flick his forehead harshly.

He winces slightly while you train your attention to the ends of your hair. "Easy for you to say when your parents don't monitor everything you do like a hawk. They only just recently allowed me to be in my room by myself during the day..."

Zagan's scarlet red eyes flicker upwards to meet your gaze. "Sorry..." He whispers so softly that you almost miss it over the loud wooshing of the wind due to their flapping wings.

You parted your lips to speak, yet it was interrupted by a voice. "(Y/n)! Who are you talking to when you're grounded!?"

It was your father, and you could hear his heavy footsteps already stalking up the stairs.

"Crap!" Javan groans. The angel boy flew over to kiss your forehead before waving goodbye and flying over to his house next door.

You watched him glide so effortlessly away as the warmth on the spot he touched was mind-numbing and addicting.

Z glanced down at the ground for a second before shuffling for something in his pants pocket. Just as the footsteps arrived at your door, he placed something in the palm of your hand and whispered softly against your ear.

"I thought of you."

His soft, boyish voice rose the hair on the back of your neck.

The door squeaked open, and Z was gone like a flash of lightning. "Who said you could have your window open? Close it now." His voice is grating, pungent with authority as the man of the house.

"Yes, Dad." You responded immediately and slammed it shut. Your blood is running cold, a type of chill that burns bitterly.

His presence lingers, staring at the back of your head like you are little prey unable to escape its trap. Then there are his eyes, those cold, lifeless eyes.

You never liked seeing those words in the books. Cold...Lifeless...how can one look like that? But as you grew older, you became aware.

Nothing behind the eyes, empty and void of basic compassion. Or maybe he's only like that with you. Fathers know best for their daughters, right?

"Do you want more privileges to be taken away?" He questioned, which spurred you to immediately shake your head, gaze still situated on the wooden floor. "Should it be your bed or your books next?"

"N-No, please." Your voice was feeble, powerless like an injured animal. "I'm sorry."

His bulky body leans against the door frame while his arms crossed over his chest, and remains in silence. He lets the stillness unnerve you, the unknown of what is to come to scare you into compliance.

So he just stood there while you sat on the bench, cornered and head bowed.

The silence is so deafening. No, it's suffocating. As though quietness manifested into hands to grip your little neck and squeeze-

"Dad, the show's back on!" Your younger brother's voice cuts through the tension and gains the older man's attention.

He huffs audibly and finally speaks. "When I say you're grounded, that means you're being punished for disobeying." The man retorts. "Don't piss me off again." And with that, he grasps the door handle and slams it shut.

A hanging frame on the door tumbles from the force, with the walls of your room rattling. You don't move for a second, remaining stagnant to cease the quivering in your lips.

"I hate you." It seethes from your lips before you rub your eyes free of a burning sensation.

Now that you were alone, you allowed yourself to relax and unclench your fingers over the object Zagan had given you. What you come to see is a silver necklace with a small pendant. It's a pair of wings, silver and shiny, with something engraved on the smooth backside.

'My Favorite Girl'

How gorgeous. It brought a smile to your face as you ran your finger over the present. The metal and jewels felt cool to the touch.

You swiftly ran over to your vanity and chained the necklace around your throat like your life depended on it.

Often, it felt as though Zagan was annoyed with you, rarely ever speaking while looking disinterested. But sometimes...sometimes, he did things that brought a smile to your face.

Just like now.

꧁𓊈𒆜 ━━━━━━━━━ 𒆜𓊉꧂

(Y/n) - Fourteen years old

꧁𓊈𒆜 ━━━━━━━━━ 𒆜𓊉꧂

Javan settled down in the seat next to you as he placed one of his arms around the back of your neck. Your gaze rose from the school Chromebook while you smiled at the male.

The more he ages, the more he continues to grow. His limbs became lengthy, his pink bubblegum hair down to his knees, and all the youthful fat in his face graced him with a prominent jawline and hollowed cheekbones.

"Hey, you. I thought Mr. Voitier was going to keep you after class for not paying attention." You tease while reaching for an apple on your tray.

It's lunchtime during eighth grade; you had sat in the courtyard attempting to fix homework you made a mistake on before it was due.

The angel winks while wagging a finger. "Not some good 'ol persuasion couldn't help with." He states before sticking out his tongue.

You scoffed, pinching his tongue before wiping the saliva on a napkin. "Threatening to tell the school that he's being biased because he's a demon isn't going to work forever. Eventually, he's going to lose his patience."

J merely waves a hand, dismissing your words before he leans back in his seat. His ocean eyes peer over to your screen, which provokes a groan.

"Sh*t. I didn't even know that was homework."

"How did you not know? It literally says the due date at the top."

The angel shrugs, and you roll your eyes. "This cannot be a habit, you know." His gaze is burning against the side of your face, provoking little tingles to run up your spine. "Fine...Fine, you can copy." Once you spoke, he beamed so brightly that his halo pulsated almost blindly.

He's like the sun that you could have in your arms.

"You're a lifesaver! Mom would kick my a** if I got anything below an A." He expressed with his white wings fluttering behind his back.

He's so cute.

"Yeah, yeah. If you would just stop being lazy and forgetful, you'd never have to worry." As you return your gaze to the Chromebook, you catch a glimpse of dark wings and light hair.

Blinking, you tilt the screen down as you hone in on the background. It was Zagan, for sure.

You actually have not seen him around for a while now. He's always busy or off doing his own thing. Your parents do not trust you enough to have a phone, so it is not like you can just message him.

Often, you do see him around his house down the street, but in school, it's like he's a ghost.

Matching your sight, Javan stands up while unfortunately removing his arm from your shoulders. "Yo! Z, bud!"

Zagan's movement froze as he removed his earbuds and directed his attention to the wall of windows.

The demon boy was still the same as when he was years ago—chubby cheeks, short height, stick-like limbs, baby crystal horns, with his shaggy curly blond hair reaching his shoulders.

What really changed was his wings, which were just massive, even longer than Javan's. He had to have it folded behind his back and buckled with a binding due to how difficult it was for him to keep the huge ailerons closed.

It must hurt.

The male beside you waves his hand over, and at first, it appears as though the other person in the trio looks hesitant.

But after a moment, he shifted his path and opened the doors to enter the courtyard. His scarlet horns glimmered like a gleaming diamond under the sun.

Javan and Zagan share a quick handshake before he nods over to acknowledge your presence.

"Whatchya been up to, man? We barely see you anymore." The angel starts as he returns to sit down next to you.

His right hand found its place on your thigh, and you swore your heart nearly lurched out of your stomach. The heat of his skin that you could feel through your clothes was swathing you in a bubble of delight.

It was addicting and comforting and had shot tingles all across your abdomen.

The demon boy swallowed rather audibly as he turned his head away. "Just been busy." He states, his voice slightly cracking.

Hmm, why wasn't he telling you two about it? You all shared everything with each other.

"I get it, man. Just don't forget about us. We've been friends for way too long just to grow apart." Javan expressed, and you nodded your head in agreement.

"We are here for you, Z." His scarlet eyes fling down to meet your gaze. "With whatever's going on, we'll listen. We'll support you through anything. That's what friends are for."

He swallows thickly again, his one hand hanging by his side twitching before curling into a fist that he hid in the pocket of his sweatshirt. "Yeah, I know. Thanks for that." His phone abruptly vibrates, and he snatches it swiftly, reading something on the screen with hard eyes before sighing. "I gotta go."

Before either of you can tell him goodbye, he was trekking back into the school with his tied wings beating against the binding.

A scowl laces your lips as you slouch in your seat. "I hope he's okay." You murmur, which prompts the angel to squeeze his hand on your leg.

Your fingers twitch as you train your attention to meet his bright eyes. "He's fine. You know he's just always been moody." The pink-haired being expresses while reaching for his own phone.

Either on instinct or tendency, your dominant hand rose to graze over the winged pendant beneath your blouse.

꧁𓊈𒆜 ━━━━━━━━━ 𒆜𓊉꧂

Knocking audibly on the door, you could hear courses of children screaming and laughing with objects falling to the ground.

It took a moment for the front door to be opened, and you were welcomed by the sight of Jahi, Zagan's mother.

She's a beautiful woman, blessed with beautiful features, a small mole on her chin, and small, sharp cat-like eyes with long lashes. You could see where Zagan got his hair from, his mother sprouting bright golden curls that reached her hips.

Her wings were something else, still leather-like but marked with swirling scarlet red lines that seemed to glow.

There was a small toddler hanging off her shoulder with one on top of her head and another babbling in her arms.

"Hi, Aunty!" You greet and grip the straps of your backpack. "Is Zagan home?"

"Baby!" She gushes down at you from her tall height while using the childhood nickname the two boys in your trio used. "It's been a while since you've been over. Everything alright?"

For a moment, you feel the inner corner of your eyes tense and burn, but you push it down to smile and nod your head. "Yes, Aunty! Eighth grade is just so busy."

Jahi nods before she catches one of her kids that fell from her head without even looking. "I understand. Don't be afraid to come over more often, even if it's just for dinner. Come in; Zagan's down in his room."

You bowed slightly before entering her large home and immediately removed your shoes. Two other kids covered in paint ran past swiftly while knocking over a vase.

Aunty Jahi practically teleported over and caught the porcelain object with one of her wings. "It looks like the kiddos are rather active today." You jest while helping her to put the vessel back on the stand.

"No kidding." She murmurs while leading you over to the kitchen. Easily, she holds two of the tykes in one arm as she rummages through the refrigerator before pulling out a bowl of fruit. "Have a snack. I'll be making dinner soon."

A lopsided grin forms on your lips from the habit you've always had. Every time you all used to come over, the older demon woman had snacks for you to eat.

Whether it be fruit, candy, or pastries. Carefully, you took the bowl and nodded. "Okay, Aunty. I'll see you in a bit."

She waved you away as you strode through the home like second nature. The residence was big, bigger than all the houses in the neighborhood.

It made sense with all the children in the Lamia household—at least seven children, with Zagan being the oldest. He likes to say that he can't stand his siblings, but he's cared for them like a third parent.

He'll say he hates them, but you've never seen someone who'd go to the ends of the world to find a cure when his brothers and sisters have just a cold.

Yeah, the demon boy goes on and on about wanting to move away, but you both know he'd worry himself sick about the other kids.

Watching your footing, you strolled downstairs to the basement, where you passed one of Z's younger brothers by a year reading on the couch in the common area.

They were rather similar looking, except he was taller, a little more aged in the face, and his horns had grown to curl back over his ears.

If you weren't family friends, you would have guessed the second and third oldest had come before Zagan because of how fast they grow...it's something Zagan's very insecure about.

"Hey, Alastor." You greet him as you pass.

He peers up for a second before returning to his book. "Hey, (Y/n)."

Down the hallway, the last door at the end, you approach unhurriedly before knocking loudly. You wait for a response, and once you get a quiet 'what,' you open it.

Zagan's changed into a pair of sweats with a matching dark sweater. His attention is on the gaming computer as he effortlessly clicks the buttons on his controller without even looking.

Once his gaze flickers over to you for a moment, he's startled and bangs his knee against the desk. "F*ck..." He curses under his breath as he yanks the headphones off his head.

You hold in a giggle and step in fully to close the door behind your figure.

"What are you doing here?" He snaps, practically hissing it out as he slides out from the desk to rub his knees.

"Why else?" You retort, dropping your bag against the wall to settle on his wide bed. "I miss you and came to check in because it feels like you're ignoring us."

Zagan frowns at your words; his gaze focuses on his legs for a second before he returns them to his screen. "You should have just texted-"

"I don't have a phone, remember."

He's silenced as you begin plopping the fruits into your mouth and snacking on them as if you had been starving.

The demon boy returned to his game, placing back on his headphones but keeping one earpad off so he could hear if you spoke.

Indulging in the comfortable ambiance of his button clicking and the muffled screaming of his siblings upstairs, you watched him play silently.

Not long after, you grasped your bag and took out a folder with homework that needed to be completed. You lay on your stomach, kicking your legs back and forth while reaching for fruit in the bowl.

When it came to spending time with Zagan, you both enjoyed doing your own thing in each other's presence. And considering that the demon boy didn't often speak either, you did most of the talking as he either nodded along to what you were saying or grunted in response.

It was comforting and something you've missed. For a while now, there felt to be this distance growing, like he were on the other side of the bridge with the path crumbling apart.

You didn't want to lose him.

"Where's Javan? Thought you'd be with him." He abruptly speaks up, cutting off the neutral silence.

"Javan had something to do with the Angel community." You state while turning over the packet to the next page. "Something about reconnecting with their beliefs or whatever."

Although you do not see, the demon nodded his head while saving his game. He removed his headphones to hang them on his monitor before turning his gaming chair to face your figure lying on his bed.

Feeling his gaze, you peered up while smiling. "Hey, there, Demon Boy. I missed you."

Zagan swallowed thickly at your words, his throat visibly bobbing as he gripped the rest of his seat tightly. You didn't notice earlier, but beneath his vibrant eyes were dark undercircles.

Had he not been sleeping well? He was always the last one to fall asleep and the first one up during sleepovers.

Even Jahi used to take him to the hospital for chronic insomnia, and they thought it was resolved. Guess not.

"Do you-"

"I know that you are in love with Javan."

You choked on a bite of fruit, a stinging sensation sprouting in the back of your throat as you sat up to cough. "W-What?! No! What are you even talkin' about?" Zagan's expression was not pleased. "Was it...Was it really that obvious?"

He scoffed while nodding and leaning back in his seat.

Groaning, you ran a hand through your hair while keeping your eyes down. It felt difficult at that moment to meet his gaze. "I didn't want anyone to know. I don't want anything to ruin our friendship, you know? We're already becoming distant."

The embarrassment was eating you alive.

"Baby Girl..." It's been years since he has called your name, even longer since you've heard him use that nickname. It makes shivers run up your spine as a tingling in your abdomen flutters. "You know that Javan's not really..." He stops himself from speaking anymore as if he couldn't find the words. "Javan's not really who you think he is. Don't you see fast he switches up when you're around?"

Raising a brow, you shook your head. "Actually, no, I don't. What do you mean by that?"

He respired a heavy breath, appearing unsure and doubtful as he shifted in his seat. "F*ckin' A... Listen, you might think you know Javan, but you really don't. He's not...He's not a good person-"

"What are you talking about!" You interjected, feeling heat flush through your body and a wave of vertigo. "I've known him since forever. I know him. Why are you talking down on our friend like that?"

His constrained wings twitched, pushing against the binding that had the straps whine. He attempted to speak, his lips parting, but only wheezes escaped.

Cursing again, his thin, bony fingers gripped tightly onto the armrest as his right leg began to bounce. "Please, if you value our friendship, just listen to me."

Oh, how you wanted to walk away right there, but what he said halted you in your spot. Of course, you valued your friendship with him; he was your best friend.

He was your family.

"Baby, Javan knows you like him. Everyone knows." Your face was burning in embarrassment; it felt so humiliating for some reason. "He doesn't feel the same. H-He's rather ashamed and disgusted-"

"You're lying!" It was practically a scream as you shot to your feet off the bed. "Javan would never say that!" The inner corner of your eyes stung as tears glazed over the conjunctiva. "He's not like that! You're just envious that he's always been better than you!"

Due to your words, the rage boiling your blood had now transferred over to the demon in front of you. Zagan stood up almost dangerously slow, like a predatory. "You think that's why I'm envious..." He nearly snarled while his canines visibly grew longer and sharper. "I don't give a flying f*ck that he's taller, bigger, smarter. He could be better than me in a hundred more ways, but it wouldn't even come close to why I'm envious of that b*stard."

Seething hot tears trailed down your face, seeping down your chin to wetten your throat. You didn't know how to feel, what exactly to feel.

All your emotions were taken for a spin: disoriented, puzzled, dumb-struck. Who is telling the truth? Who is right?

They both are your best friend, the people closest to your heart that makes your days brighter and nights calmer.

But how do you react when the one you're utterly in love with isn't who you thought he was? Or when the other confronts you with what could be the truth...but also a lie?

"Please, Z. Just...just tell me that you didn't mean it, and I'll forget-"

The straps containing his massive wings had snapped from the force as they extended outwards. The dark, leathery ailerons knocked over objects and slashed through metal shelves attached to the walls.

You nearly fell over from the sudden action, intimidated by the spikes that lined the edge at the top. Not only was it long in width, but the height of it was nearly double his stature.

They don't grow their wings like that; they don't get so big they are nearly twice their size. But his had the possibility of rivaling Satan.

"Ever since we were kids, you've let him get away with everything. You've overlooked too many flaws for me to stand here and let you get your heart broken." He reached forward to wipe a tear away, but you couldn't stand the touch of him at the moment.

It can't be true.

"What does it matter to you..." It's a broken cry, whimpering from your lips as your heart shatters inside regardless.

It just can't be true.

"I-" His chest decompresses while his wings descend like a deflating toy. "Baby, I care about you-"

"Then why are you lying to me!?"

Zagan startles you as his hands latch onto your shoulders and squeeze. "I'm not lying! Not to you! Not to my Baby." His already slightly high pre-teen voice squeaked, and he cringed at his tone.

So overwhelmed, filled with grief and disbelief, you stepped backward and spoke to him in a way you never have before. "No, I'm not your Baby. Not anymore."

It was as if you watched his world crumble in his scarlet eyes. "(Y-(Y/n)...please."

You couldn't breathe at all, as if someone had your lungs in their hands and were depriving you of any air. With blurry sight, muddled with tears, you turned away and shoved your things into your bag.

His wings were still in the way; those beautiful things that you loved to play with when he would allow it made the tears all the worse now. "Let me out." You ordered.

The hands that were once holding your shoulder dropped to hang limply by his side, weak, frail, unstable. "If I let you go, then that's it."

You were losing strength in your legs.

"(Y/n), don't leave me...please." He begged while stepping forward, but you turned your head away.

Your grip on the straps of your bag was not enough padding to save your palms from being burrowed into by your nails. "Goodbye, Zagan."

That was it. You both knew that it was final; there was no going back from this. The friendship has been tarnished, and trust broken.

It will never be the same again.

Hesitantly, Zadan curled in his massive wing, and you didn't waste another moment running out of there.

You flung the door open and scurried down the hall.

Alastor was still in the common room on the couch and waved to you without looking away from his book. "Goodbye, (Y/n)."

"Goodbye, Alastor."

You passed the other Lamia siblings who called out to you, and you had to say goodbye, knowing you'd never be back here again.

On your way to the front door, you tried to be silent, holding down a sob, but when you heard Jahi calling out to you from behind, you nearly bawled right then and there.

"I'll see you soon, right, Baby?"

You sniffled, hiding your face as you forcefully shoved your feet into your shoes and half-a**ed-tied them. "Of course, Aunty!" Faking the enthusiasm hurt like a punch to the gut. "I'll see you again soon."

Before she could reply, you left as fast as you could. There's no one left to turn to but him; you need to see him.

Without a phone or any way to contact him, all you could do was return home and wait for him to get back from the event.

At first, you walk as if your legs are broken, but the ardent emotions spur you to bolt down the street back to your house.

You fling the door open and hasten down the hallway to get up the stairs. Your father yells out to you, followed by your younger brother, whose mocking words pierce you like blunt knives.

The sobs raking your body are excruciating, aching as if your entire figure is cold rubber being pulled. It feels even worse here with all the memories.

Pictures of the three of you are everywhere: the unfished projects worked on together, and the clothes still left over from when they used to sneak in for a sleepover.

You cannot stand it; you cannot handle it.

Everything must go.

There is no carefulness or being mindful of how you handle the things in the room; you throw them into plastic bags with the full intent of being rid of everything.

Yet when you collapse to your knees to catch your breath, the necklace he gave you slips out from underneath your shirt.

The sight only provoked your wails to become silent, merely broken, stuttering wheezes as the stress spurred sleep to hold you tightly and close your eyes.

꧁𓊈𒆜 ━━━━━━━━━ 𒆜𓊉꧂

A warm touch ran through your hair while the same heat traveled up and down your spine in a soothing manner.

"Hey, it's not good to sleep on the cold wooden ground."

Your awareness was returning, and you groaned audibly while cracking your puffy eyes open. "Mmm, Javan...?"

He hums in acknowledgment, and as your vision focuses, you see that you are moved onto your bed, the angel boy sitting at the edge as he comforts your head in his lap.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to get here, Baby." He cooed softly as the singing of grasshoppers filled your room due to the open window.

His presence, the god-like radiance, was cathartic, like the pounding of raindrops on the roof. Everything had felt so cold, and you felt so alone.

With Javan here, as he holds you, it's like heaven.

You tell him everything, everything that happened when you visited Zagan at his home. Without mentioning your feelings for him, you skidded over that part, but it wasn't needed to explain the event.

It hurts inside as if you swallowed a cluster of needles.

The angel listens silently as he continues to rub your back and send tingles through the muscle. By the time you finished, a new set of tears had befallen your face; however, your throat ached too much to wail audibly.

"I'm so sorry he did that to you. I knew he had always been rude and inconsiderate, but I didn't think he would ever try to smear my name or break your heart." He murmurs while tilting his head. "I really thought our friendship meant something to him."

You could barely nod with exhaustion interwoven in your limbs. "Me too..."

One of Javan's hands lightly grazed over your lips as he trailed it down your neck. "You know how much I care about you, right?"

【"What does it matter to you..." It's a broken cry, whimpering from your lips as your heart breaks inside regardless.

"I-" His chest decompresses while his wings descend like a deflating toy. "Baby, I care about you-"

"Then why are you lying to me!?"】

You do not trust your voice, only nodding your head as you turn over to hide your face against his abdomen.

"I cannot tell you enough about how important you are to me." Javan's hand reached down as he clasped his fingers with yours. "You are my everything, Baby. You are my sun-" He squeezed your conjoined hand. "-my moon-" Leiursurely, he leans down to hover by your ear. "-you are the air I need to breathe-" And finally, you felt the softness of his succulent lips caressing the skin of your neck. "-and the strength that lets me fly. I cannot be without you."

He kisses down your throat until he reaches your shoulder so he can hide his face in the crook of your neck. "Don't let his hurtful lies make you question our friendship, our relationship. We don't need him anyway. Right?"

When you don't reply, he pulls away and lightly swivels your head to look up at him. "Right, Baby girl? We don't need him. Can you say it?"

"W-We..." It feels as though you have no voice even to speak. No one wants to drop a friend, let alone one from childhood that was like family.

Shaking your head, you attempt to pull away; however, you are not permitted to leave. Javan maneuvers your position, with you on your back, as he leans over from above.

The beautiful white feathered wings flap lightly in the air as the moon glimmers behind him, darkening his halo.

"You can do it, Baby. I know you can." The angel boy lightly pressed his open palm on your stomach as he stared down with otherworldly eyes. "Here, I'll even say it with you."

"I-"

His hand on your belly lifts so his fingertips trail up to your neck.

"I-"

He wraps them around your throat, tingles jolting across your skin.

"-Don't-"

The angel leans down just close enough to where your nose barely touches.

"-Don't-"

You feel hot beneath your clothes as if you were lying in a sauna.

"-Need-"

Your heart hurts, filled heavily with the distraughtness of losing your best friend.

"-Need-"

The closeness...the proximity of your bodies were suffocating your lungs.

"-Him-"

It's one word, but the impact of it was greater than an asteroid colliding with the moon.

"-Him-"

꧁𓊈𒆜 ━━━━━━━━━ 𒆜𓊉꧂

(Y/n) - Eighteen years old

꧁𓊈𒆜 ━━━━━━━━━ 𒆜𓊉꧂

Even early in the morning, the common room of the high school was bustling with activity. You felt heated beneath baggy clothes as you chewed on a piece of gum.

The insides of your stomach ached as though they were eating its self alive.

With your cracked phone in hand, your fingers danced over the keyboard as you debated whether or not to double-text.

Javan has left you on read again without a single response. You've been attempting to get in contact about when you could give him the essay that he needed help with.

During senior year, you know he's busy with Track and Lacrosse, and he doesn't have the time to check in with you like he used to.

It doesn't help that it's hard to get close to him. High school does what high school does.

Angels run with run angels, devils and demons congregate together, and any other monster type sticks with their kind.

There obviously were a few outcasts, but even then, it was hard to be included. Not even mentioning how the small populations of humans weren't a fan of you. The humans said you were too close to the monster, and the monsters didn't like you because you were human.

Lose/lose situation.

Just thinking about it always puts a damper on your mood. The isolation and seclusion were nothing new; it was merely exhausting to have to do everything by yourself.

You threw the broken phone on the round table in the common room and leaned over the AP history textbook that was open. Its cold, plastic-like texture felt pleasant against your warm skin.

Sleep hasn't been gracing you for a while now. There have been just too many things to do. So much homework, more than half, not even yours. Javan already had so much on his plate. As his best friend, it felt only right to help him as much as you could.

Resting the side of your head on your arms, you stared out at the entrance of the school. More students poured into the halls as the time grew closer to the first period.

Hopefully, Javan arrives by himself, so you won't need to deal with the other angels questioning your presence.

For beings that were made to be messengers of god, they were rather concerned about their vanity. Well, that's what happens when they are left to themselves.

They become rather human in their sins.

Your already sour mood became acidic as the one person you wish you didn't have to see walked through the door.

He had to bend down from his 6'6 (198.12cm-1.9812m) height, the grown crystal horns on top of his head only causing more hassle; it nearly scraped against the already lofty door frame.

Zagan used to believe that his horns would never grow, considering his younger siblings had curled and extended way earlier than he ever did.

The demon boy was just a late bloomer.

He used to be this short, scrawny little guy who was never in the slightest popular. Many of your peers picked on him, mocking him for his appearance, calling him a pathetic excuse of a demon.

Now, he was practically the poster child. His muscles grew, making him beefy and bulky. His upper torso was wide, more specifically, his shoulders, with his chest broadening.

Through his tighter clothes, anyone could see the muscle definition of his abbs and v-line. Before, Zagan was never one for such fitted clothes; you knew he was always insecure about his skeletal limbs and hid them beneath sweats and oversized attire.

Similar to his upper body, his legs grew just as muscular and thick. They fitted dark jeans perfectly to where you could see the curves and meat beneath the cloth.

What has also changed is his hair. His blonde curls were less defined, and he cut them so they were just slightly beneath his ear.

His earlobes are now pierced and riddled with embellishments and rings. Those beautifully dangerous batty wings of his had somehow grown even larger; the width was nearly unbelievable, with the height a little past his head.

The spikes were pointier, more ominous.

At first, when he was younger, he needed to bind his abnormally large wings for his size because he didn't have the control to keep them closed or out of the way. Now, he still has to bind them only because they are so oversized that even when he curls them in, it's like he walks with a wall behind him.

Zagan Lamia went from being super nerdy and a loner to a big shot that everyone wanted to be affiliated with...everyone but the angels and you.

Now, your ex-friend ran with the other demon students. He was like a celebrity, someone the girls threw themselves at, and the boys always tried to get into his good gracious with.

Sometimes, when you look at his mature appearance, you wonder if it was you who was holding him back from his potential.

For a moment, it felt as though Zagan's scarlet red gaze rose to meet yours as he swiped his tongue over his plump bottom lip. A small black ring pierced the left side of his lip, and he appeared to fiddle with it as he neared.

Your heart abruptly skipped a beat, and the back of your neck was drenched with sweat.

It's as though he's deadset on making his way to you, but a warm hand on your neck startled you. Your head flew up as you swung your gaze in the other direction.

Javan plopped his body down in the seat beside yours and tilted his head while smiling almost coyly. "What were you looking at, Baby?"

Your stomach coils like two hot wires being twisted around each other. Glancing back swiftly, there doesn't appear to be any trace of Zadan. He's nowhere to be seen, and that's saying something.

"Nothing." You murmur softly and return your attention to the angel. "Just thought I saw something, must be my mind playing tricks on me."

He hummed slowly, staring at your phone tossed aside on the table before glancing at your face. "I can see that you haven't been sleeping. Bad dreams?" His words are laced with honey, so sweet that you devour it like a greedy little kid.

You don't want to seem incompetent by confessing that you feel overwhelmed by your workload, so you attempt to smile and nod your head. "Yeah, bad dreams and Yose's little pranks getting out of hand."

Javan laughs lightly; you're sure that he can easily imagine that annoying little menace of a brother bothering you.

Similar to Zagan, the angel had grown and matured just as much. He didn't get beefy like the demon; his build was more athletic and toned.

His muscular limbs were proportionate to his 6'2ft (188.976cm - 1.8796m) stature, the white feathered wings just as big and as tall as himself. They curled perfectly behind his back; wouldn't be a problem unless he unfurled them outwards.

That long hair of his was no more. He cut it so it was long bangs over his forehead and a mullet of some sort down the back of his neck.

There was just something about the angels and the way they dressed; they were always on trend, stylish, and attired in a manner that always made their bodies look the best.

It was like having supermodels strutting down the halls, not accounting for the succubus' or Incubi.

Realizing why you were upset in the first place, you dig through your heavy backpack to pull out your Chromebook. "Before I forget, let me send the essay to you."

Javan beamed, his ocean eyes practically glimmering as he wrapped a hand around the back of your neck. "I literally forgot. You really are a lifesaver!"

【The angel shrugs, and you roll your eyes. "This cannot be a habit, you know." His gaze is burning against the side of your face, provoking little tingles to run up your spine. "Fine...Fine, you can copy." Once you spoke, he beamed so brightly that his halo pulsated almost blindly.

He's like the sun that you could have in your arms.

"You're a lifesaver! Mom would kick my a** if I got anything below an A." He expressed with his white wings fluttering behind his back.

He's so cute.

"Yeah, yeah. If you would just stop being lazy and forgetful, you'd never have to worry." As you return your gaze to the Chromebook, you catch a glimpse of dark wings and light hair.】

It's been four years, but that memory from the courtyard in middle school suddenly flashed in your mind. So long ago, but the recollection still feels as though it were yesterday.

The loss still feels so fresh.

"Right..." You wheeze out before clearing your throat. "What are your plans today? I've been wanting to get out of the house and go somewhere other than work."

J appears to think intently, his gaze almost out of focus, before he shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair. "I don't think I can. The community is meeting up at the grand church for a ceremony tonight."

The dejection is evident, your shoulders sagging, but it's what you expected. He's ever so busy; you should be more considerate of his schedule.

Humming, you sent over the documents through email as you kept your gaze away from meeting his. "Are you still going to senior formal?" You question just to start a conversation.

It's been weeks since you've actually been able to speak face-to-face with him. You're soaking his attention in as much as you can.

"Yeah, I wasn't gonna go, but the others convinced me."

"Oh~?" Your lips form into a faux smile. "Javan Wyn was peer pressured?"

The hand on the back of your was removed to flick at your forehead. "I don't get peer pressured." He stated, which spurred you to roll your eyes.

"Alright, whatever you say, Angel Boy. Do you have at least a date?"

"No."

The heat beneath your baggy clothes grew worse, and a sudden surge of anxiety flushed through your bloodstream. "Are you going to ask someone?"

You don't know whether you want him to say yes or no. He's so handsome, his appearance nearly a blessing of god. It's astounded you that he isn't in a relationship.

Everyone flocks to him.

And you're still in love with him after twelve years.

"Hmm." He leans over the table and rests his chin in the palm of his hand. "I haven't really put any thought into it."

A breath of air you hadn't realized you were holding in was released as you laughed. What did you expect?

He's never voiced anything about liking any of the girls at the school, and you'd know. Best friends tell each other everything.

"Well, if you come up with someone in mind, won't you tell me first?" You offer while leisurely closing your Chromebook.

"Sure, Baby. You'll be the first to know." Javan laughs under his breath while swiping a loose strand of hair over to behind your ear. Doing so, he was able to see a very small hair clip you had to keep some frays out of your face.

"What's this?" He questions, and you're unable to meet his gaze.

You immediately remove the clip and conceal it within the palm of your hand. "Oh! I-It's nothing. I just forgot to take it out. My hair was just getting in the way."

Whatever the angel says goes a long way for you. If he says a certain color looks good on you, you're altering your whole theme.

When he tells you, 'I really like it when you wear baggy clothes. You don't look good when you wear anything tight.' You change your entire wardrobe, so maybe he'll like you more.

Maybe his eyes would linger on you more when you listen when he says, 'Don't wear make-up, you look so much better bare-faced. Make-up just doesn't fit someone like you.'

Perhaps he'll tell you he likes the way you look when you do your hair just the way he likes it. 'It's ugly when you put those clips in your hair, ya know. I only like girls who keep their hair up in a bun. Yeah, yeah, that suits you much better.'

You would do anything for him.

"Don't forget next time." Javan reprimands and reaches for the colorful metal clip in your hand. "It's ugly when you wear it."

Your throat tightens, constricting with the sensation of sobbing, attempting to force its way through. But you swallow it down and nod your head with a small, frantic smile. "Of course."

His warm fingers graze over your palm to take the clip in his own and leans back to aim and toss it in the garbage can against the wall. "There." He murmurs while turning back to face you with a gleaming smile. "You look so much better when you're like this."

Simple, he likes it when you appear simple and clean. He likes it when you wear ill-fitting clothes, even when it's hot, and you're swathed in sweat. He likes it when you tie your hair up, fringes, and lose hair gelled back.

He likes it when you do nothing more.

The bell rings, which draws his attention as well as that of other students who scatter to get to class on time. The angel stands and pats your face lightly while grazing his thumb over your lip.

Your entire stomach is doing front lips, and you could melt in his angelic touch.

"I'll see you around, Baby." And with that, he departs from the common area to leave you alone just as you were before.

It was nice while it lasted, but all good things must come to an end.

"See you around, Javan." It whispers from your lips as you shift in your seat to collect your things.

꧁𓊈𒆜 ━━━━━━━━━ 𒆜𓊉꧂

You hate that sensation, the feeling of chlorine in your hair. Even as you try to scrub and wash it out after aquatic fitness, that awful tacky and dry sensation sticks to every strand.

It sucks, considering how much you enjoyed swimming. Weightless, fluid, as if you're flying away from here. The way your hands split the water, the manner in which your body glides through it so easily, drives all your worries to melt away.

Shutting off the shower in the female locker room, you reach for your towels and wrap them around your body and hair.

There should still be at least ten more minutes before the bell rings for the end of class. You can take a little bit of time to look presentable-ish.

As you enter the lockers, it appears that all the other girls had finished before you, already gone. Not that you minded either; you didn't like their eyes on your body, judging in the way they always do.

You're just a little human in a world of monsters.

Sighing, you undid the code to the lock and opened the locker. Instead of seeing your change of clothes and other items, it was bare.

Not a single object or article of clothing.

Your entire stomach filled with dread, and dropped to your knees.

"Awe, whatever happened to your clothes~?" It's a sickeningly sweet voice that originated behind you. The hairs on the back of your neck stand on end as your heart skips a beat.

Laughing lightly even though you desire to scream, you remove the towel from your hair and slowly turn around. "I just can't seem to keep my things together."

It's suffocating, standing in only thin, short clothes as six other students surround you, four angels and two humans.

Water trickled down your neck while you swallowed thickly.

"Oh, we agree." One of the angels expresses and steps forward. "Which is why you need to learn a lesson~!" She's so pretty; is such a shame her personality is rotten.

You latched onto the front of your towel as you stepped back, only for the locker to shock you with the contrast of heat.

"I-I'm sure I'm innocent." You're losing your voice, becoming guttural like you had been screaming it away. "What did I do?"

A human girl latches her hand on your bicep and tugs you so hard that you nearly slip on the cold concrete ground.

"You need to be reminded of your place."

Before you can attempt to de-escalate the situation, your other arm is latched onto, and you're being dragged away.

There is no grip on your bare feet that you are just sliding on the floor. You can only hold onto that thin towel to keep even a bit of your modesty.

"Stop it! Hey!" They bring you closer to the exit, where loud chattering emanates from. Classmates and other students must fill the large open area where the hallway had opened up for gatherings.

Your elbow slams back, knocking into one of the girl's noses. She gasps, and blood immediately begins to trickle down.

She licks it while a terrifying sneer forms on her plump lips. "You bitch!" Her hand latches onto the back of your knotted, wet hair as two others open the door.

They managed to drag you through the door and thrust you outwards so you fall forward. You're barely able to catch yourself, striking your knees on tile that immediately spurred an onset of blood to stream down your shins.

Laughter...Laughter reverberates outwards, so loud that the vibrations echo beneath the ground.

You feel sick.

The one you had hit grasped onto the back of your hair again. She tugged your head upwards to look at everyone while also grabbing onto the bottom of your jaw.

At least more than half of your grade had congregated in this massive area, and they surrounded you like a school of fish.

"Look, everyone! It's the girl who thinks she's better than us!"

Ice runs through your veins, so cold that it's a burning sensation. The insides of your throat swell up, depriving you of air.

You're scared.

You're humiliated.

They're laughing at you, their giggles and cheers so deafening it's as though they are bursting your eardrums.

"Come on!" A different girl locks onto your wrist and pulls you to your feet with her pure strength. "Where did all that entitlement go!?"

Not even a second after you are standing, were you kicked down and forced to collapse on your bruised and rived knees.

A strangled gasp wheezed from your lips as the inner corner of your eyes stung. Tears clouded your conjunctiva before trickling down your heated face.

"Doesn't she deserve a little humility!?" Courses of 'yes' and cheers echo like the booms of fireworks. They begin chanting...chanting to take everything away.

These people wanted to ruin you.

Your hand holding up the towel was yanked away as another gripped the cloth to tear it off your body.

"No!" Just as you finally release your voice, a vociferous snapping sound overtakes the shouting and replaces it with gasps.

Scarlet red eyes meet your gaze as his wings tear apart the binds and extend outwards, knocking nearly half the crowd to the ground.

He practically teleported in front of your figure to yank you up to your feet by one of your wrists and hold you tight to his body.

The massive size of his wings is not just for show as he flaps them; the force sends everyone tumbling away, skidding across the ground and hitting the walls.

You cannot breathe, even with your lungs expanding and retracting vigorously and your mouth gulping in the air like a fish; lightheadedness only grows more intense.

Zagan's burly arm wraps firmly around your back as he hauls you back into the locker room, the male locker room.

A clamorous cry echoes out from your lips as you grip his shirt, burrowing your nails in his thick, muscled waist. You didn't mean to cry, to wail out and release this visceral wail that rattles through your entire being.

He doesn't say a single word, merely picking your much smaller figure into a bridal position. His body heat contrasted against the chill of your damp person in such a way that you immediately succumb to his warm hold.

To be against his body brings back so many memories, all before the fallout, before the trio became nothing anymore.

You've missed him so much.

Why did it have to be this way?

The strength of your sobs worsens, racking through your bones. Zagan's wings surround the two of you, blocking out the light and muffling the sounds from outside.

It's only the quiet hum of the internal conditioning and your blustering cries. Your face is hidden against his pecs, wetting his shirt, but he doesn't seem to mind.

He only continues to hold you like you're a cracked vase, precious, broken, and needing his undivided attention.

Even though your nose is stuffed, this close proximity and protective surroundings of his wings allow you to smell his scent.

Zagan smells like an early dawning, with fog concealing the world and honeydew drops garnishing the grass.

This is not the smell of heaven, but damn, does it feel like paradise.

Soon, without a single word being spoken, your cries cease to become hiccups and whimpers. Strength has dissipated from your muscles, leaving your entire being exhausted.

You just want to fall asleep and never wake up.

The demon boy leans his head down, and though it is void of light while swathed in his batty wings, you can feel his gaze on your face.

His one arm under your shoulder gingerly pushed up upwards so you were sitting on his lap. He held onto your bare thigh while allowing your head to rest on his shoulder.

There are tingles erupting beneath his fingers that ignite your nerves. You've never been touched like this before.

"Better?" Not the voice of an angel, not the singing of the devil; it's something entirely different. Deeper, coarser, it's manly and rugged.

The sound of it reminds you of a rustic cabin, lost in the woods with a fire burning in a stone pit. Everything, from the foundation to the wiring, was done by hand.

It feels personal.

Slackly, with barely any strength, you nod your head and raise a hand to swipe at your face.

"...You...You still have it."

It is obvious what he's referring to; that cold pendant abruptly feels warm at the mention of the necklace. You hadn't the heart to remove it or to throw it away.

Doing so would be completely removing him from your life, even more than he already was. "Yeah..." You didn't want to tell him anymore.

You can't tell him that sometimes you'd grip that necklace and pray that everything would revert back to the way it used to be. Or that you'd run your fingers on the engraving on the back, remembering when he was always there for you...always there until that event.

Feeling him nod his head, his massive spiked wings part very carefully to let in the light. Zagan stands up to place your body in the spot he was just sitting in and strides over to a wall of lockers.

The way he just manhandles you sends shivers across your stomach and farther down.

He undoes the lock and shuffles through a bag before turning to face your figure. You can't believe the man standing in front of you is Zagan.

This is really the same nerd who had to look up at you; now you have to crane your neck even to meet his gaze.

It's really been four years without even acknowledging one another.

"Here, It's obviously not going to fit, but it's better than nothing." Zagan murmurs as he steps closer to lay a set of clothes on your lap.

That sweater...he still had that same dark red sweater that you bought him once at the mall. You said it went well with his eyes, made them as bright as stars.

It most definitely doesn't fit him now, which means he's kept it even after he had finally developed.

"I'm going to turn around to make sure no one comes in while you change."

His speech breaks you from your thoughts. You peek upwards just as he folds his wings and trekks over to the locker room door.

You feel more self-conscious now with Zagan's back turned than you did in front of the other students. The tips of your ears are burning along with your cheeks.

It's almost like the clothes are made of glass the way you gently handle them and set them on the seat as you stand. Your body has long dried after the shower, yet you keep the towel over your shoulder as you shuffle on his attire.

The sweater was soft, lined with cushiony fabric that felt nice against your skin. Without a bra or support system, you were lucky it was rather oversized and thick to obscure your chest.

Next is the pair of black fleece sweatpants. You end up fitting it well; you're definitely sure that this was from when he was smaller.

Luckily, there's a drawstring that you end up tying to tighten at your waist.

"I'm done." You meant for your voice to be firm, but it's gravelly and coarse, as if you need to clear your throat.

He tilts his head back to look, but he audibly sucks in a breath of air before flinging his head in another direction. One hand covers his mouth as the other holds onto the wall for support

Your brows crease tightly, and your fingers form into fists in the sleeves that are too long for you. "Is something wrong?"

It took a short moment for him to clear his throat. He shook his head as if he were freeing himself from thoughts while extending a large, coarse hand outward. "Grab my hand, and I'll take you home."

It's as though he steals the air right out of your lungs.

After everything? After what you said to him, after dropping him...he's still caring for you.

You want to hit him. If only he didn't accuse Javan of what he said, nothing would have changed.

"I-I can go home on my own." You state, yet it only prompts him to click his tongue and step forward.

He immediately dwarfs your smaller stature by his much larger one. The demon peers down with an unknown expression, one where you can't even tell what he's thinking.

Those gorgeous wings of his softly flutter to gain your attention just as one corner of his succulent lips quirk upwards. "And miss the chance to fly?"

How right he was.

As kids, you begged them to take you flying. One of them would hold you close and raise you to the sky so you could feel utterly weightless.

Nothing mattered while you soared, not your f*cked up family, not your unrequited love, nothing at all but that freedom.

You haven't felt it in four years because Javan was always too busy and Zagan...

"Fine." It whispers from your lips as you shift your gaze away. "Just home, please."

His small, angled eyes squinted as if he knew what you were thinking while he nodded his head. "Let's go." He states and reaches for one of your hands.

That warmth surrounds you again as he holds on tight and departs from the male locker room. It's empty within the common area; seems that everyone knew better to leave than to stick around and face the poster boy's wrath.

It's sunny outside as you both exit through a side door. The sun is high, with a few fluffy white clouds clumped together. You were maneuvered into a new position, one where Zagan held your body in the bridal position again before taking off.

Those massive wings of his are so powerful, so strong that he could probably outfly any fighter jet. He's arrived in the sky in the blink of an eye.

Wind is whipping around your baby hairs and striking against your face, yet you welcome the little stings.

You're light, fluid, and weighed down by nothing in this moment. Zagan's flying through the clouds, allowing your fingers to feel the slight chill and moisture like before.

It earned a laugh from your lips, a genuine one that hasn't graced your face in a long, long time. The demon's grip grew tighter at the sound of laughter and peeked down at your face.

Your eyes met for a second, and his lips parted as though he desired to speak, but they shut upon arriving in your neighborhood.

Not yet; you didn't want to go home just yet.

"We could fly around a little longer." Your eyes fling upwards to meet his as he swallows. "If you want, that is."

No, no, you don't want to go home at all.

You feel an ache in your stomach, a burn in your eyes, and a pressure in your throat.

Doesn't he hate you at all?

"Just...Just take me home, please." You spoke a lie, and god should have struck you down right then and there.

How is it that you both look-feel so dejected?

The scarlet-eyed demon descends from his high place in the sky to your window on the second floor. You manage to crack it open before slipping inside and shifting around to face the dirty blond-haired man.

He hovered in his spot, taking in the view of your bedroom after so long. All the pictures of him are gone; all the gifts he's given you are nowhere in sight.

"I'll uh-" His tongue fiddles with the lip ring as he drops his gaze. "I'll get your bag from school and bring it over."

You want to tell him not to worry about it, but you do not trust your voice, so you merely nod your head.

Zagan mimics your action and lightly taps the windowsill before flying away. Your puffy eyes follow and watch his figure until he's too far to be seen.

Too far gone.

꧁𓊈𒆜 ━━━━━━━━━ 𒆜𓊉꧂

When Zagan returned from gathering your things from the school, he lightly tapped on your window to gain your attention.

However, he received no response, none at all. The blinds were pulled together so that he couldn't see inside...nor feel your presence.

The demon knocked again, a little louder this time, with again no response. He reacted without thinking, thrusting up the old window and nearly tearing off the blinds.

It was the same as he saw earlier: slightly messy, books splayed open, clothes folded but not put away, yet there was something different.

On the bench by the window was the folded set of clothes he allowed you to wear...and a note on top. His fingers were shaky for some reason, filled with dread as if he were inches away from death.

Flipping it open displayed just a few words with messy handwriting, like writing in a rush.

《

I'm sorry, I can't do this anymore goodbye

》

The paper tore in his grasp while the pair of fangs in his mouth elongated and sharpened. Every muscle within his body tensed and constricted.

F*ck, f*ck, f*ck!

This can't be happening!

You can't be gone!

He tried to control his breathing, attempting to calm himself just the slightest so he could figure out where the f*ck you had gone.

But your scent is decamped with not a trace of or trail leading anywhere. Even your presence, the very feeling of your soul, is nowhere close.

He can't feel it, he can't feel you.

After years of saying it, knowing you so well, even after four years of disregarding each other, he knows you did it.

You ran away.

꧁𓊈𒆜 ━━━━━━━━━ 𒆜𓊉꧂

(Y/n) - Twenty-Two Years Old

꧁𓊈𒆜 ━━━━━━━━━ 𒆜𓊉꧂

Continuing on in pt.2

꧁𓊈𒆜 ━━━━━━━━━ 𒆜𓊉꧂

Short and dramatic, but it's better than nothing, right? This had been in the drafts for a long time, but I decided to break it up into 2 parts just to get it out. It also allows me to focus on the second act of the story.

This is setting up for pt.2, where all the drama is going to unfold. The reader gets found and realizes the truth, more daddy Zagan screen time (he's gonna be in a gang hehe), and Javan is confronted. There's gonna be fistfights, tears, and a lot of sl*tty demon s*x.

Psst, I'll let you in on a little secret. The Lamia household has lots of siblings, right? Well, certain demons have a little...hmm, how do I say this...have a breeding trait passed down through generations. Jahi has it, which explains the seven children, and well...Zagan's very much like his mother.

Which makes him a 'Breeding Bull'. So that's something to look forward to in pt.2 ;)

꧁𓊈𒆜 ━━━━━━━━━ 𒆜𓊉꧂

↳If you'd like to support me or read 30+ drafts of TDMLM or my other stories, please consider buying me Kofi. You can find the link on my profile! Thank you :)

꧁𓊈𒆜 ━━━━━━━━━ 𒆜𓊉꧂

𝐌𝐚𝐦𝐚 signing out

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dollyyun · 6 months

Text

𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍𝒔 | chap 19

SYPNOSIS: wherein Hwang Stella's life is tangled in a predicament involving her clandestine identity as a racer, her seemingly daily life as the official heir to the Hwang Empire, and seven guys with whom she has a complex history with.

PAIRING: enhypen members x fem oc.

GENRE: 18+ (mdni), reverse harem, chaebols, semi-college & racing, eventual adulthood, non-idol au, eventual enha being f1 drivers, multiple pov (this fic is written in first pov).

WARNINGS: mention of abuse, expletives, alcohol consumptions, smuts(kinda filthy but written in an amateur way lmao), fivesome with hyungline.

WORD COUNT: 10k+

FEATURING: itzy yeji and ryujin, stray kids hyunjin, chris(bang chan) and felix.

TAGLIST: @aishigrey @kgneptun @b3tt7boop @smg-valeria @lhspeachie @enhaverse713586 @strxwbloody @firstclassjaylee

🍒 MASTERLIST 🍒

I stare at my reflection on the mirror in the elevator, and I'm uncertain whether I love the amount of skin I'm showing or not. In fact, Aera suggested that I wear this red off-the-shoulder body-con silk dress, which accentuates my curves and allows my cleavage to be seen slightly. Aera, on the other hand, is wearing a similar body-con blue dress as mine, with the exception of the spaghetti strap. Without a doubt, she looks gorgeous.

Just earlier, Aera dragged me along with her back to our room to change into another set of clothes for the event tonight. She even insisted on helping me retouch my makeup. Throughout the process, I felt like a doll being groomed by its owner.

Presently, we are on our way to the after-party, which is the last section of the event and is only exclusive to close families and friends from both sides of the newlywed. Since it is hosted at a premium bar, which is situated just a level below the grand ballroom, Sophia obviously is not permitted to enter, so both Kelly and Minjun have decided to bring her back to their room.

"We are so going to have a blast!" Aera is brimming with enthusiasm, which is infectious, as I find myself smiling faintly despite the fact that my high spirit has withered due to seeing Hwang Minhyuk once again.

Yeji and Haneul kept their words, never informing any of our family members about Minhyuk's unwelcome arrival. On the other hand, I am tempted to let Aera know, but I don't want to dampen the mood.

I shake my head lightly as we step out of the elevator. I can't allow myself to be affected by that monster, not when I've long since recovered from the abuse and trauma he inflicted upon me for years.

No, I will not let him take this away from me. I'm surrounded by people who I can trust to unconditionally support me, and I most certainly won't allow that monster to hurt my loved ones. Hwang Minhyuk can rot in the deepest depths of hell with his precious Rena.

"Woah, girl! Slow down! The bar isn't going anywhere!" Aera exclaims in between giggles as soon as I drag her with me to enter the bar after having our identifications and RSVPs checked.

I don't release Aera from my grasp, even as I take a look around the massive bar that probably expands at least half of the floor here. Honestly, the bar looks more like an actual club with its red and purple LED lights that illuminate the entire floor and the house music that is playing as it reverberates across the expanse of the bar. There is even an intimately demarcated indoor pool that the translucent barrier allows those near the pub to gaze upon, with a few individuals already playing in it, most likely Haneul's guests.

It appears that both Yeji and Haneul have booked the entire bar, considering that I recognise these faces from prior to the wedding ceremony. I spot my brother from afar, settling on one of the tables that is surrounded by presumably no strangers to him, given how his usual intimidating countenance seems animated.

"If I had known that there was a pool, I would've brought my swimsuit." Aera's pouty voice brings my attention to her. "Hey, why don't we find my brother and the rest of the guys?"

"Uh, no way. I can't risk anything since my brother is here." I tug at her hand to pull her back, just as she tries to walk away. "Remember what I told you earlier?" Back in our room, I informed Aera about my concern about revealing my relationship with them to my family.

"We're just meeting them under the pretence of you being their friend." Aera bats her eyelashes at me in an innocent manner while mischief glints in her eye. "But I'm not certain that they would be able to control and keep their hands to themselves once they see you."

"So you did have an ulterior motive when you suggested this dress?" I ask, raising my eyebrow at her.

"Maybe. Maybe not." Aera shrugs her shoulders indifferently, but with my glare straight at her face, she concedes. "Okay, fine. You caught me. But I swear, I had a good intention!"

"And what intention does it entail?"

"To test them to see if they could control themselves because, babe, you're actually smoking hot." Aera drawls, wiggling her eyebrows at me. "If you hadn't noticed, they're completely obsessed with you. Heck, I even saw how frustrated my brother was by your avoidance."

I roll my eyes. "I'm sure Jungwon, Sunoo, and Riki have informed them about it. Even if they disagree with me, they'll just have to suck it up and just deal with it."

"You know what? I agree." Aera nods her head, though there is a smirk on her face. "Just like you might have to deal with the consequences of being adamantly stubborn in your resolve."

I gasp, offended. "Hey!"

"And there goes the incoming tension." Aera whistles lowly, her eyes are fixed straight ahead, to which I turn my head to look at where she is looking.

The sight itself makes my heart lurch in my chest while the annoying jitters return, as do the butterflies in their wake. It appears that they, too, have changed their formal outfit into something a little more laid-back, but enough to make me drool. Seated on the couches from afar are Heeseung, Jay, Jaeyun, and Sunghoon.

Heeseung catches my eye the instant, and though his face is devoid of emotion, his gaze alone is enough to let me know that he's the predator to my prey. He is leisurely seated on the couch with his legs spread while holding a glass of wine. My eyes begin to shamelessly scan his appearance. His black v-line top is accompanied by a white coat with the sleeves rolled to his forearms, revealing his silver necklace with a ring pendant resting on his chest. His mullet lures me to skim my fingers through his soft locks.

Next to him is Jaeyun, who is sitting a little politely with his leg diagonally crossed over the other. He is dressed in a baby blue blouse with an unbuttoned top, allowing his chain necklace to be visible as it rests on his neckline, to which he mindlessly fiddles with it while a grin graces his handsome countenance. Jaeyun appears to be conversing with Jay, who is seated on the other single couch, which allows me to appreciate his fine countenance.

Jay is donning an outfit similar to Heeseung's, with the exception of being all white. His slicked-back hair with a few loose strands hovering over his chiselled forehead sends a flutter to my heart, as it is one of my favourite hairstyles on him. His lips form a smirk with a dimple on his cheek, probably finding amusement in whatever Jaeyun is saying.

Feeling another heated pair of eyes drilling into my face, I turn to meet Sunghoon's eyes. There is something about Sunghoon in black leather. The material is clad around his muscles, and even I can see how taut the material is against his biceps. Warmth weaves across my cheeks as I realise that he is mirroring Heeseung's manspread.

As soon as I'm done blatantly checking them out, I unintentionally return my gaze to Heeseung, but this time, all of their eyes are on me. I don't know what they are thinking, but the look on their faces denotes approval, as they seem to check me out quite openly, despite the intimidating aura they exude.

"Babe, I don't know what just happened, but that was hot as fuck." Aera snaps me out of the trance as I look at her. There is a stupid grin on her face. "I'm totally living for the tension."

"There is no tension." I assert, still feeling their eyes on me. "Tonight, I want to steer clear of them. Let's go and get to drinking."

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Aera and I headed for the pub, and coincidentally, Yeji and Haneul arrived, to which everyone cheered and applauded the newlywed once again before resuming their respective endeavours while some approached the newlywed and engaged in conversation.

I leisurely take sips of my vodka soda, which is in the interesting colour of vibrant blue. From my peripheral vision, Aera is still on a video call with Jeongin and yapping away while her other hand is gripping her half-empty vodka.

"Stella." Yeji's voice brings my attention to her, and at the same time, her hand is placed on my lower back. Without moving from the stool, I turn to my body to face her, who is staring at me with such concern as though I might break at any moment of time. "How are you feeling?"

In response, I manage a smile—a genuine one at that. "I feel great! Better than I ever was!"

"Uh oh, is this the alcohol talking?" Yeji narrows her eyes at the glass in my hand.

"It's a party, Yeji Unnie. We need to loosen up ourselves and move along the flow." I don't know why, but I do genuinely feel delighted. Upon seeing Yeji's apparent wariness, I pat her shoulder and chuckle. "Don't worry, big sis. I promise that I'm completely sober."

"Stella has a high alcohol tolerance." Aera chimes in, probably having ended her call with Jeongin. "I think the person you should worry most about once she's drunk is me, Yeji."

Yeji darts her eyes between us before her gaze lingers on my face a little longer, and upon seeing how evidently relaxed I appear, she heaves a sigh and musters a smile. "Alright. Just make sure to enjoy yourselves in a safe manner."

"Honey! You remember Alex from my department back in college?" Haneul appears with an unfamiliar man beside him, and just like that, Yeji withdraws herself from us and entertains the guests.

"I've been looking everywhere for you, baby sis." Hyunjin comes into our view with two unfamiliar men following him from behind.

I greet him with a teasing grin. "Shouldn't you be looking for your other baby sister?"

"She's busy with her husband entertaining their guests." Hyunjin tells me before introducing the two gentlemen. "These are my best friends, Felix and Chris. Coincidentally, they've been close friends with Haneul since college."

"So you're the sister we've been hearing about." The blonde mullet surprises me by how deep his voice sounds, as does the apparent Australian accent. He offers me a charming grin with his hand extended to me. "Hey, I'm Felix. It's a pleasure to finally meet you."

I reciprocate the handshake and offer him a small smile in return. "Stella." The moment I introduce myself, Felix grips my hand gently before raising it to give me a kiss on my knuckles.

"We know. We've heard so much about you from your yapping brother." Felix chuckles deeply as he gently releases my hand.

"Oh, did he, now?" I divert my gaze to Hyunjin while the latter smiles sheepishly.

"He couldn't help it. He has always been incredibly proud of you, including the fact that you play an important role in the Formula 1 industry." The raven-haired man, with a similar accent to Felix's, speaks. His kind eyes meet mine while a smile touches his lips. He extends his hand to me, to which I reciprocate. "I'm Chris."

"Nice meeting you two." I say politely before turning to Aera, who has been silent and watching with calculating eyes. "This is my best friend, Aera." Aera shoots them a smile, though it is rather a curt one, before she resumes minding her own business.

"Hyunjin!" An unfamiliar voice calls for my brother from afar as he waves his hand, to which Hyunjin looks at the person with a smile of recognition. Hyunjin returns his gaze to us. "I'll be right back, and don't even try to do anything funny with my sister." He directs the warning to the two gentlemen before walking away.

"Say, would you like to join us?" Felix asks, directing his question to both Aera and me. "We can have shots while we wait for Hyunjin, or even play the pool since the more players, the merrier."

"Did you say shots?" Aera butts in, no longer is there the perceptible hostility she exuded earlier. A Cheshire grin spreads across her lips. "I'm in."

"Great! What about you, Stella?" Chris asks with all eyes on me.

"You should join! Shots are your expertise, after all!" Aera beams at me before looking back at the guys. "She's a champion. Once, we were at a club, and there was this contest where participants were required to take as many shots as they could handle."

"Let me guess, Stella won?" Felix chuckles.

"Yup. I had no idea how she managed to stay sober even after taking too many shots. She's a beast."

"It's nothing." I shrug my shoulders. "Anyone can drink that many shots and still stay sober."

"So, Miss Champion, wanna take on the challenge once more?" Felix asks, raising his eyebrow at me.

A challenging glint in my eyes. "You're on."

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

At first, the challenge was purely for entertainment between the four of us, with Aera and I on the same team and Felix and Chris on the same team. But as time passes, we draw attention from the other guests, and soon after, some of them decide to participate in the challenge as well, including Haneul, who looks exhilarated in his element.

"Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots!"

The crowd around me chants loudly, as does the bass-boosted music that is playing in the background, galvanising me into downing the ninth shot as I throw my head to the back. I'm still sober, but being in this element makes me feel exhilarated.

The tequila trickles down my burning throat before I slam down the glass shot on the table, smirking as I feel excessive content that trickles down my chin. It looks like I'm the only one left standing while the others who participated are either inebriated or have given up and rest aside. I can't precisely recall the last time I had this much fun.

"Come on, Stella! A few more shots! You got this!" Aera, in her drunken stupor, cheers for me, with Sunoo holding her against him. I don't miss the way Sunoo's eyes gleam with concern for me, but I am too exhilarated to care about anything else other than proving that I'm a champion at taking shots.

"You go girl!"

"Holy shit! She took all of those shots just like that?!"

"Isn't she Yeji's sister?"

"I had no idea Yeji's sister was smoking hot."

I disregard every comment amidst the cheers and continue to down a few more shots. I lick my bottom lip as I grab for the last glass, and this time, with the adrenaline rush through my every fibre, I rise from my seat and climb on the table while the volume of the cheers increases as they watch me throw my head to my back with one last shot.

The cheers reverberate throughout the entire floor as they applaud me. With the corner of my lips curving into a smirk, I wipe the dampness on my chin with my thumb, but as my gaze accidentally falls to certain individuals who have been watching me in silence not so far from where we are, something stirs within me.

They don't look the slightest pleased, but at the same time, similar provocative sentiments reflect in their dark, dangerous gaze. Forcing myself to look away from them, I decide to dismount from the table, but Felix instantly swoops in to assist me, his hands on my waist as he brings me down until I'm standing on both feet.

With the applause and compliments thrown at me from the crowd, I thank them with a smile in return before they slowly disperse, mainly to the dance floor.

"Wow. You were amazing." Felix expresses his amazement, chuckling breathily as he stands close to me, but I disregard the close proximity between us and continue to remain friendly with him.

"And you were a loser." I tease, wearing a lopsided grin on my moist lips from all the shots. "Five shots only? Was that all you could take?"

"Hey! Not everyone can be as professional as you!" Felix counters playfully. "But seriously, though, you're a beast. I've never met a girl as interesting as you before."

"Is this the part where you ask me for a dance?" I ask as the grin persists on my lips. "Because I'm certainly ready to dance the night away!" I laugh gleefully, and without waiting for him, I weave through the crowd to make my way to the dance floor, where the newlyweds can be seen dancing silly in their own little world while Hyunjin is being suspiciously intimate with a fine lady as they dance to the rhythm of the music.

"Stella." Riki's voice, as well as his grip on my wrist, forces me to stop in my tracks. As I look at him, his face looks serious. "I think you should stop."

A frown tugs at my lips while my face contorts into confusion. "Stop what?"

"The avoiding being seen by us and all." Riki says in a low whisper. "Just so you know, Sunoo and I are still totally fine about it, but that can't be said the same for the rest."

I scoff. "Yeah? And how are they going to stop me?"

Riki observes my face carefully before he heaves a sigh and releases my hand. "Don't say I didn't warn you, Stel."

"Here you are, doll." Jungwon's voice from the side prompts me to look at him, and to say he looks calm somehow makes me nervous. "Are you done?"

"Done with the party?" I back away from them, grinning deviously as I feel oddly intoxicated despite being sober. "Nahhhh. But if you're done, you can leave! There's the exit!"

This time, Jungwon doesn't bother concealing his annoyance. "Stella─"

But I can no longer hear him, nor do I see the sight of him as I finally arrive by the dance floor. My body moves naturally to the infectious rhythm, the alcohol in my system adding to my euphoric sways. I don't know the people who I'm dancing with, but we go with the flow, laughing and enjoying the moment, until I am being tugged hard before I bump into Felix, who is holding my forearm.

"You left me." Felix feigns sadness. "I've been trying to search for you."

"Well, I'm here now." I chuckle. "Show me your moves, then." Judging by his flawless dance skills, I can definitely confirm that he must be in the same career field as Hyunjin.

"Woah!" I stumble into him just as someone shoves their way from behind, resulting in me losing my balance, but Felix holds me steady with his hands on my waist.

"Rude." Felix clicks his tongue in annoyance before looking at me worriedly. "You okay?"

"Yeah. I think." I chuckle breathily while my head throbs faintly. "I guess all the tequila shots are starting to get to me."

"You should drink water after this." Felix suggests, to which I nod, but then comes the awkward silence. It takes me some time to realise that his hands remain on my waist and that there is a lack of space between our bodies, causing me to snap out of it as my eyes widen.

Just as I open my mouth, I feel a heavy presence behind me, and the sound of his voice cuts through the air like a razor-sharp knife, enough to make us both go flinching.

"Get your fucking hands off my girlfriend."

Shivers run down my spine at how pissed-off he sounds with his low and husky voice, resounding enough to reach both of our ears.

Felix, however, does not remove his hands from me. Instead, Felix cocks an eyebrow at him in a challenge before looking back at me. "You know this dude?"

"Yes, she does." He says with a snarl.

Felix's eyes harden as he releases me, now attempting to square up. "She can speak for herself. Who the hell even are you?"

"I'm her boyfriend, you dumb fuck─"

"Enough." I step in between them just as they are close enough to nearly land a punch on one another. I look at Felix with my lips pressed thinly. "I apologise for my boyfriend's behaviour."

"Apologise?" I hear him scoffing in disbelief.

Disappointment shines in Felix's eyes before he musters a tight smile. "It's fine. I should go."

"Yeah, you should! You should get the fuck away from my girl!"

"Jaeyun." I hiss, turning my head to glare at a pissed-off Jaeyun. "You're being ridiculous!"

Amidst my annoyance, I can't deny the fact that I am more than intimidated by Jaeyun's aura. He clicks his tongue, smirking as he does so while taking deliberate steps forward, which I instinctively back away from. "Are you kidding me right now, love?"

I swallow harshly. "You're being territorial for nothing! Felix meant no harm. He's just a friend."

"A friend who eye-fucks you?" Jaeyun tilts his head to one side, his gaze on me remaining heated, while the smirk on his lips widens just a fraction. "Hey, Jay. You heard what our girl just said?" He says without breaking eye contact.

In an instant, a gasp leaves my lips as soon as my back hits a solid chest. I don't even have the chance to move away, as he has his strong arms wrapped around my waist.

"Is that so?" Jay says softly beside my ear, his breath hitting the shell of my earlobe as does the tip of his nose. But I know better than to be deceived by the softness of his voice. My heart flutters when he kisses my cheek and remains there before a faux sigh leaves his lips. "Baby's been bad."

I bite down on my lip harshly, hating how my body is starting to feel affected by his touch. "We can't be seen like this─"

"I don't give a fuck about whether your brother or sister sees us now." Jay speaks harshly beside my ear while his grip on me tightens. "You've been bad, baby."

"Ignoring your men throughout the event and talking to other men, taking shots like a champ," Jaeyun lists down, standing close until I'm being sandwiched by them. He grips my chin firmly and forces eye contact with me. "Dancing with another man and allowed him to fucking touch you."

My mind is intoxicated by their strong cologne and their touch on my body. "He's just a friend." I adamantly insist, though I feel strongly weakened by their assertive dominance, which feels suffocating.

"Jungwon told us about you acting like a brat earlier." Jaeyun tuts, reprimanding me. "I must say that we're rather disappointed in you."

"Guess it's time for our girl to learn a lesson." Jay places a sensual kiss below my ear, where my throbbing pulse is.

"Fuck you." I blurt out whatever comes to mind, but despite my vexation, a familiar heat stirs within me.

"Such foul words aren't suitable coming from those pretty lips of yours." Jaeyun closes the gap between our lips, but he doesn't kiss me. Instead, he chuckles breathily against my lips. "How about I put those lips of yours around something else for lesson one?"

"Like your dick?" I go straight to the point, whispering against his lips while a smirk touches my lips. "No thanks. I'd rather suck a lollipop. At least a lollipop has flavour."

"My, my. She is a brat." Jay chuckles at Jaeyun. "Should we let her go for now?"

"Of course. If our girl wants to act like a brat, then she'll have to deal with the consequences." Jaeyun states calmly without tearing his gaze off my eyes.

"Go back to the entrance and wait there." Jay instructs as he speaks softly in my ear amidst the loud music in the background. "Don't you even dare to escape. Understood, baby?"

Feigning compliance, I acquiesce with a head nod before Jay releases me. I don't waste time pushing my way through the crowd, all the while my pulses drum loudly in my ears. A part of me is afraid, but another part of me feels exhilarated about what is to come next.

Maybe it's the alcohol that is slowly taking effect on me, but I do feel a little rebellious right now, and I want to test to see how far they can last with their patience. And so, instead of waiting for any of them by the entrance, I walk briskly towards the elevator that coincidentally opens as soon as I reach it.

A triumphant grin smears across my lips as I step in and push the button, but the moment I turn around, my eyes widen just slightly as he enters as well. Unlike Jay and Jake, there are no traces of anger in his countenance. Instead, he appears calm and collected, with his hands tucked in his pockets.

"Going somewhere, sweetheart?"

His honeyed voice is alluring, tempting me to fall into his trap, which is the facade he puts up. The elevator closes, leaving me completely alone and vulnerable with him. Upon the protracted silence from me, his lips unfurl a soft smirk. "Afraid, sweetheart? There's nothing to be afraid of." He extends his hand to me while he continues to speak in a soft, gentle tone that weakens me. "Hold my hand."

I hesitate for a moment, but I eventually give in, placing my hand on his. He grips it firmly before raising it to kiss the back of my hand. "See? There is nothing to be afraid of."

The elevator opens, revealing the floor where my room is situated. He tugs me along with him, prompting me to follow. With every step I take, my heart is beating at a rapid pace, and I feel a mixture of apprehension and excitement when we walk past my room, having no intention to stop. That is, until he abruptly stops near the door, which is situated right at the far end.

"Heeseung." I utter his name in a shaky breath, but the next thing I know, he has me pinned against the wall beside the door, holding underneath my thigh and hoisting my leg to his hip.

"Shh." He places his finger against my lips. His voice remains softer than ever, but I am no fool to ignore the danger lurking beneath. "You didn't think you could get away after all the stunts that you pulled tonight?" He asks in a murmur as his finger slides downward slowly. "What was his name? The guy who touched you?"

"Felix." I answer meekly.

"Felix." Heeseung repeats his name in a mockery. "Oh, sweetheart, you shouldn't have played with fire, taunting us with the way you danced with him and how he held your curves."

I open my mouth to speak, but he silences me swiftly when he slams his lips on mine, kissing me hard with such fervour that is unlike any other. He kisses like he's punishing me, and yet, I find myself succumbing to his dark allure willingly.

He bites down on my bottom lip, enough to hurt me just slightly. A whimper crawls the back of my throat. "Hee." At once, I hear faint laughter from five doors down the corridor. Kelly and Minjun. I grab a fist of his black tip, trying to pull away from his unforgiving lips. "Hee, my dad and Kelly." I whimper once more.

Heeseung obviously has no intention to stop with the way he is kissing me senselessly, which has me fluttering my eyes closed and allowing him to punish me through his kisses. The wet smacking sound of our lips bounces off these walls, and I know for a fact that I'm doomed if Minjun or Kelly decide to step outside.

"Heyyyyy, Heeseungggg!" Aera's sluggish voice calls out from afar, and I'm thankful because he stops moving his lips on mine, sighing against my lips in annoyance before pulling away and allowing me to finally breathe.

My lips feel swollen from the aftermath as I lean the back of my head against the wall, watching as Heeseung turns to the side and looks at Aera.

"Heeseung, a little help?" Sunoo's voice draws my attention, and I spot him supporting Aera with her arm draped around his neck while he holds her waist. "I still need to get Ni-Ki and Jungwon sober since they drank too much."

"I feel like throwing up!" Aera moans, her limbs flailing in Sunoo's grasps.

I catch the way Heeseung's jaw clenches before he returns his gaze to mine. "See you in awhile, yeah?" He whispers, leaning down to kiss my forehead sweetly before he releases me.

"Heyyy, I saw what you did there!" Aera giggles, her eyes going droopy. "She's hot, right? You better thank me, big bro!"

As I watch them, I am distracted by the sound of a door swinging open at the side. When I turn, I am met by Sunghoon, who is leisurely leaning his back against the door with his arms crossed over his chest. His lips curve into a smirk as he looks at me. "Look who it is. The bratty princess has graced us with her presence."

I shoot him a glare, totally not amused. "Call me brat one more time."

The smirk on his lips falls flat. The aura he exudes is akin to the other three. "Get inside."

I hold my chin up in defiance. "No."

"Get.Inside." He punctuates, his voice is deeper and darker. "Or I'll have you thrown over my shoulder and make you regret it."

"Fuck no." I turn my back on him with the intention of walking away, but I should know better than to challenge him.

"Park Sunghoon!" I hiss, trying my best not to scream as he carries me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. I kick my legs in the air and throw weak punches on his back, but in return, his palm lands hard on my butt-cheek.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Sunghoon throws me on the bed, barely giving me time to comprehend how things are escalating so fast within the night as he hovers on top of me with his fingers curling around my neck firmly. I flutter my eyelashes, staring at him in a way that has him clenching his jaw while his dark eyes penetrate into mine.

"Who was he, and why the fuck did he touch you that way?" He asks harshly, his veins along his neck protruding just slightly.

Feigning undeterred by his sheer anger, I scoff out a smirk, cocking my eyebrow at him with a challenging glint in my eye. "Jealousy doesn't look good on you, Park." I gasp as soon as he tightens his grip around my neck. I grit my teeth as I shoot him a glare. "Screw you. He was nothing more than just a friend."

"I'm so gonna enjoy fucking the attitude out of you." He snarls, descending his hand to my lower region, until he presses his fingers on my panties which have long since leaked with the pre-essence.

"Oh? What is this?" He asks mockingly, stroking upward on the outlines of my wet folds against the material of my panties. "The brat is wet." A smirk touches his lips as he hooks his fingers around the string of my panties before pulling it down, nearly ripping it off, and tossing it elsewhere.

"Not wet for you." The lie rolls easily from my tongue, but soon, I feel a hard smack on my wet folds, eliciting a gasp from me while my hips jerk at the painful yet pleasurable sensation.

"And the brat lies too." He sneers down at me and lands another smack on my pulsating cunt. This time, I don't hold back as I moan breathily. "Such a bratty slut. You're liking this?" He smacks again and again, until he has me whining underneath him.

"Please." I buck my hips, attempting to feel something to relieve my pulsating cunt, which is in dire need of being ruined.

"You seem to forget that this is a punishment." His thumb comes into contact with my sensitive clit, slowly rubbing it while keeping his eyes on my face, watching as my breaths become heavier.

"Sunghoon." I plead once more, and this time, he gives me what I want, instantly shoving two of his long, slender fingers into my hole, moving in and out at a fast pace that has me moaning uncontrollably at the sheer sensitivity.

"Fucking hell. You're so, so wet." Sunghoon hisses, relentlessly fucking his fingers into me before I feel his fingers curled inside. I latch my hands on his forearm, rutting and moving my hips in a way to feel him deeper.

"Hoon!" My back is arched with my eyes rolling to the back, and my mouth falls slack at the intense buildup of the climax that will come crashing down at any moment of time.

"Not yet, princess." Despite his words, he continues to fuck me with his fingers, the wetness from my slippery folds echos in the room as they overpower my moans. Though my orgasm is impending, I desperately move my hips sensually, having my aching clit that is in need of attention grind against his wrist. "Ride my fingers just like that, princess. Ride it like you're riding my dick." His words of encouragement fuel me to ride his fingers exactly the way I would ride a dick.

Sunghoon continues to whisper such filthy words to me, occasionally kissing my cheek. "Yeah? Scream my name, princess."

I bite down on my lip hard, refusing to scream. My defiance seems to fuel his vexation, fucking into me fast. "I said fucking scream."

"Hoon." A pathetic whimper leaves my lips instead, to which he sighs in disappointment and abruptly pulls his fingers away from my cunt. Tears prick in my eyes, feeling frustrated that he pulled away just before I could come down from the high.

"You're so fucking mean!" A whine tears from my throat as I attempt to shove him away from me, pushing him to the chest, and in retaliation, he grabs both of my forearms and pulls me up, forcing me to sit straight. He swiftly wraps my legs around his waist and carries me somewhere else until he decides to settle himself on the couch.

"Don't forget that you're still in trouble." Sunghoon dismisses my glare, and his hand ascends to brush my messy locks away from my face frame. His eyes scan from my body to my face, causing the smirk to return to his lips. "Did I ever tell you how gorgeous you look?"

"No." I mumble moodily.

"That's because it's your fault." He pulls me by the nape harshly and kisses me hard, akin to how Heeseung had kissed me earlier, except Sunghoon doesn't make it hurt. He pushes his tongue inside the hot cavern of my mouth while I helplessly moan into his mouth. He pulls away just slightly, breathing harshly against my moist lips. "If you hadn't been avoiding me like a plague, I would've already told you how gorgeous you looked."

"You guys started without us?" Jaeyun's voice draws my attention as I look to the side. My heart nearly combusts at the side of Jaeyun, grinning lazily with his hands tucked inside his pockets as he leans sideways against the doorframe.

"What took you guys so long to get here?" Sunghoon asks roughly, still holding me in place on his lap. Heat spreads through my face as Jaeyun's eyes flicker down at my bare leg that is straddling Sunghoon's thigh.

"We had to help Sunoo with a drunken situation involving Riki and Jungwon." Jaeyun explains, oh so casually, as if the sight of me being half-bare naked from the bottom sitting on top of his best friend is the norm.

"Heeseung will be a little late." My heart lurches in my chest at the moment Jay appears from behind Jaeyun as he enters the room. "He's helping Sunoo deal with Aera. Apparently, she threw up quite a lot."

"Now, what shall we do with you, my love?" Jaeyun asks with his head tilted to one side, striding towards us.

Sunghoon grabs a fist of my hair from behind, tugging it firmly. "Answer his question, princess."

"You guys are a bunch of mean fucks." I scoff out, refusing to be obedient, which they thought I would be. In return, Sunghoon tugs my hair rather painfully, eliciting a wince from me.

"I think the one who is mean here is you, babe." Jay tuts in disapproval. "We're your boyfriends, aren't we?"

"Yes." I wince again as Sunghoon doesn't relent, but he dips his head down to pepper sensual kisses on my neck, adding pleasure to the pain.

With my head being forced to turn sideways, Jaeyun comes bending down to my eye level. "Then fucking treat us like your boyfriends." Jaeyun looks at Sunghoon. "Hoon, let her go."

To my surprise, Sunghoon complies, pulling away from my neck and releasing his painful grip on my hair. When he rises from the couch, I do too, but there is no way to escape, not when I'm surrounded by them.

"Now, love, you said that you'd rather suck a lollipop because it has a flavour." Jaeyun settles where Sunghoon previously sat on the couch. "I want you to get on your knees and suck me until you swallow every drop, since you wanted a flavour, right?" He asks mockingly.

I know that I should be acting defiant since I wanted to test the limitations of their patience, but the thought of sucking him off salivated in my mouth. Before I know it, I sit on my knees politely with my eyes fixated on him as he unbuckles his belt before discarding everything till he is bare, resulting in my mouth literally watering at the sight of his cock, fully erect. Without a word, I grab his length, and my thumb teasingly brushes his slit with pre-essence leaking, eliciting a hiss from him.

"Don't even think about teasing me." Jake grits his teeth, and dare I say he looks enticing despite how he is glaring at me. "Suck me until I'm done dumping it all into your mouth."

I comply, not wanting to get into any more trouble than I already do. Leaning down, my mouth begins to envelop its head, but before I can take him deeper at my own pace, Sunghoon presses the back of my head, forcing me to take Jake deeper in an abrupt manner. Jake immediately grab a fist of my hair, moving my head.

I almost choke on how thick his cock is. I flutter my eyes close, trying to breathe through my nose, before continuing to bobble my head up and down. Jake's moans sound like music to my ears as I continue to administer my skills in sucking him good, my tongue swirling around the tip that has him fisting my hair harder, tugging it painfully.

"That's it. Take him deep, princess." Sunghoon coos by the side, bending down to caress my now tear-stained cheek. "Such a hungry cockslut for us."

I moan in return, and the vibration from the back of my throat shoots to his dick, sending Jake into a frenzy as he moans. "Just like that." He throws his head to the back in a state of ecstasy that has me humming in approval. "Shit! I'm cumming!"

I don't stop, instead sucking him harder to the point where my cheeks are starting to hurt, as does my aching clit which is begging to be touched and rubbed. Finally, his tip starts to spurt out his essence, and I swallow eagerly until nothing is left, hearing him moan out, which has me craving his approval.

"Good fucking girl." Jay caresses my hair as he praises me while I slowly remove myself from Jake's softened dick. Jay helps me up, but he turns me around to face him, making my face contort into a confused frown.

"What's the safe word, baby?" Jay asks softly, his hand gently caressing my arm. Though his administration is soft, his gaze alone is looking at me dangerously, just as the rest do, and I know that I'm inevitably fucked.

"Um, red?" I say the instant it pops into my head. Before I can speak, my vision is slowly and wholly obscured by a blindfold. My heart begins to pound harder in anticipation. My hand reaches up to touch it. "What is this for?"

"Part of your punishment." Jay replies calmly as he holds my hand, preventing me from touching it. "It's one of many of Sunghoon and Jake's kinks."

I hear Jake scoff in disbelief. "You're into it too!"

"Enough talking." Sunghoon's deep voice speaks beside my ear, his hands place on my hips, gripping them as he presses his body against mine from behind, eliciting a soft gasp from me at the feeling of his hardened bulge. I feel him unzipping down my dress slowly before his lips come into contact with my shoulder blade, sending a shiver down my spine. The instant my dress drops to the floor, the cool air from the room temperature has my nipples hardening.

"Look. Baby's dripping wet." Jay coos before I feel his hand on my waist while the other strokes my damp underwear, eliciting a moan from me. "How are you so wet just from sucking Jake?"

"Because she's a slut." Sunghoon trails his kisses along my shoulder blade, pushing my hair to the side. He nips at my earlobe, just enough to cause pain. "Our slut." He purrs.

I gasp once more as soon as Jay slams his lips on mine, kissing me hard as though he needs air. I feel Sunghoon's hands descend from my shoulders and stop at where my breasts are, cupping them roughly with his fingers pinching and fiddling with my hardened nipples, eliciting a moan from me, which Jay greedily swallows and invades the hot cavern of my mouth with his tongue.

"Fuck, that's so hot." I hear Jake cussing out loud, and judging by his rasp and heavy breathing, I'm assuming that he's palming himself and jacking off.

I don't know how long I've been sandwiched between two hot men, but long enough to realise that they have brought me to the bed. Jay detaches his lips from my swollen ones before I hear something shuffling. No break is given to me as Sunghoon forces my head to turn sideways with his hand cradling my jaw before he envelops me in a searing kiss.

But soon, I feel a hand tugging at mine before he pulls me to him. "Lay down on your back for me, baby." Jay instructs me, to which I comply. The second my back hits the mattress, Jay wastes no time in hooking his arms underneath my thighs and pulling me to the edge of the bed, my legs resting over his shoulders.

A breathy moan escapes from me the instant he attaches his mouth to my clit, tentatively licking and sucking the bundle while my hands attempt to reach down to grab his hair, but I feel another pair of hands holding my arms, preventing me from doing so. The next thing I know, those hands pin mine above my head firmly before I feel a smooth leather belt tying around my wrists, tight enough for me to be unable to break free.

"No." I weakly protest in a breathy moan, rolling my hips forward as Jay teasingly slides down his wet muscle to my folds before delving into my wet cunt as though he is trying to find something. "Please, let me touch you." I plead, my hips rutting against his face, resulting in my clit grazing against the tip of his nose.

"No can do, princess. This is your punishment." Sunghoon speaks above me as I feel him caressing my cheek before he trails his fingers downward and stops at where my hardened nipple is, pinching and rolling the pearl between his fingers.

"I'm cumming!" I announce in a moan, the orgasm crashing down on me without any warning while Jay continues to lap my cunt, not wasting any essence to escape from his tongue. Finally, he pulls away, and I hear him scoff. "Baby came without permission." I can imagine the smirk on Jay's face just by the way he speaks.

"Did she, now?" Sunghoon tuts in disapproval and pinches my nipple for one last time before I feel him dipping off the bed. The next thing I know, a pair of hands manhandle me, turning me over with my stomach flat on the mattress. "Ass up." Sunghoon commands sternly, and despite my still trembling thighs, I do so with a little difficulty due to my wrists being bound by the belt.

I hear shuffling behind me before my body jolts in surprise when a palm lands a sharp smack on my ass, eliciting a pained moan from me. He does it again, again, and again until he has me in tears due to how hurtful it is, and yet I can feel wetness forming on my wet folds.

"Can't believe she's fucking dripping." Jaeyun remarks with a condescending chuckle from the couch behind us.

"Please." I flinch as soon as he smacks my ass again while I attempt to entice him to take me as I push my ass towards him.

"Please what?" Sunghoon asks, mocking me, and this time, his palms rub my sore cheek, which is probably in the shade of red.

"Please fuck me." I manage to utter, my eyes closing at his fingers sliding on my wet folds in a teasing manner.

"Should we give into what baby wants?" Jay's question seems to be directed at the two of them.

"If princess wants to get fucked, then she'll get fucked." Sunghoon's rough voice turns me on, as does the moment he taps his cock against my wet folds while I wait in anticipation.

"Ah!" My body almost jolts forward as soon as he shoves his cock into my waiting hole. He slowly withdraws his cock with just the tip remaining before shoving into me hard once more, and he repeatedly does it. I feel him leaning his body forward before he grabs my bound wrists and holds them behind, forcing my upper body to raise just slightly.

A series of moans elicit from me while I nearly drool, hating and loving how rough and unforgiving his paces are with his hips slamming hard against my ass. I hear him grunting every now and then while his grip on my tied wrists tightens.

"How are you so tight even after letting your boyfriends use your sweet hole?" Sunghoon asks harshly in between grunts. "Answer me, princess."

"I─" I succumb to the delirious sensation of his cock, unable to form any coherent words.

"Baby can't talk?" I feel Jay brushing my hair.

"I can!" I gasp as soon as Sunghoon uses his strength with ease, forcing my upper body to rise with his strong arm wrapping around my waist for support as I stand on my knees while still continuing to pound his meat into me.

"You want to get fucked dumb, princess?" He asks breathily beside my ear, while I am unable to respond. "We'll fuck you dumb, alright."

I feel the bed dipping in front of me before Sunghoon carefully lowers me until I feel myself coming into contact with a warm body and my boobs pressed against his solid chest. Sunghoon pulls out from my pulsating cunt, eliciting a dissatisfied whine from me.

"Shhh, I know, baby." Jay, who is underneath me, says softly as he holds my thighs to spread them apart. "We're gonna fill you up so good."

"Careful not to hurt her." Jaeyun's concerned voice makes my heart swell. "She hasn't done anal before."

I feel Sunghoon spreading my ass cheeks, and in an instant, my jaw goes slacken as he breaches the entry of my anal hole with his tip. "Ah!" I express my pain with the tears that have been pricking my eyes and streaming down my cheeks. "It hurts!"

"Shit." Sunghoon hisses, slowly trying to enter while I continue to weep. "I'm sorry, princess. Just a little more."

I bury my head in the nook of Jay's neck while he whispers sweet yet encouraging words into my ear with his hand massaging the back of my head. After what it's like for eternity, Sunghoon has finally invaded the untouched territory, being the first one ever.

I expect Sunghoon to move, but he remains still, as though he wants my tight hole to adjust to his size at its own pace. I feel Sunghoon place kisses on my back while Jay presses his lips on my neck, kissing me just as sweetly. Butterflies in my stomach tenfold upon their sweet kisses and whispers, in contrast to how they were earlier.

"I'm going to fill you up now, okay?" Jay murmurs softly in my ear while I nod my head. I feel Jay sliding his cock into my cunt slowly. "Does it hurt?" He asks, hissing slightly at how tight they are as he continues to breach further.

"No." My voice is barely above a whisper as I rest my head against his shoulder while facing him, despite my obscure vision.

"Are you sure, princess?" Sunghoon asks softly, brushing the strands of my hair away from my face.

"Yes." I answer softly. "You can move now."

As if testing waters, Sunghoon slowly thrusts into me, as does Jay. It feels as though they are controlling themselves, holding themselves back from being rough with the way they seem to be breathing hard.

"More." I whisper in an airy moan, moving my hips front and back in an attempt to feel them deeply. The pleasure is building deliciously from both of my filled holes. "Harder."

No word comes from them, but instead, they begin to unleash the beasts lurking beneath their sweet yet considerate facade. With my bounded wrists behind my back, Sunghoon uses it as leverage, forcing my upper body to rise just slightly for Jay to capture my nipple in his mouth while fucking into me at a delirious pace.

"Fuck, you feel so good." Sunghoon nearly growls, sending shivers down my spine. "Holes were made perfect for us."

"Baby." Jay groans beneath me while I feel his hands holding my waist. "You're squeezing me hard."

I moan in response, coherency is beyond my ability at the moment, which elicits chuckles from them. They continue to fuck me relentlessly with a vigorous pace, in synchronisation, until I feel the familiar knot forming. "I─Unngh!"

"Cumming soon, baby?" Jay asks in a rasp against my neck as my head is tilted up.

"Fucking do it." Sunghoon commands me, and with that, I come violently with my body convulsing before Sunghoon releases my wrists, allowing me to fall weak on top of Jay.

I gasp at the sensation of Sunghoon filling my hole with his cum before he eventually pulls out. Jay continues to thrust into my cunt slowly, riding out my high until a breathy moan leaves his lips at the moment he paints my wall white. He holds me down by the waist firmly until I feel his dick soften before he pulls away.

Sunghoon kisses my shoulder blade before whispering praise in my ear, while Jay strokes my back with affection. Eventually, Jay has me lay on the mattress on my back.

"Move." I hear Jaeyun speak in an authoritative voice that evokes a familiar heat within me. A pair of hands begin to remove the belt from my sore wrists, finally allowing my hands to move freely. The instant I part my lips open, I am silenced by his plump pink lips kissing me with a sense of urgency. My arms around his neck, pulling him closer before they descend to play with his chain necklace.

I moan weakly into his hot mouth with his tongue invading my cavern, my fingers now tangled in his soft locks, while his hands roam around my body before deciding to fondle with my boob.

"Watching them fucking you was so hot, love." Jaeyun speaks against my mouth with a low growl. "Think you can take me?"

"Yes." In a trance, I nod my head, and with that, Jaeyun hoists one of my legs on his shoulder before he pushes his cock into my gaping cunt that is probably leaking with cum, which is a lubricant to him as he easily slides into me. He thrusts into me slowly, which is enough for my arousal to return. I throw my head to the back, arching my neck, while my eyes roll to the back at the delirious friction from his cock in between my walls that seem to clamp around him.

"Shit, baby." Jaeyun lets out an airy moan as he leans down to kiss and lick my neck. A pained moan leaves my lips as he nips my skin with his teeth, enough to leave a bruise, yet it hurts so good. "Squeeze me hard, just like that."

My walls clamp around him once more in response. He continues to administer his kisses and licks on my neck while my fingers graze against his abdominal muscles, tracing and appreciating them. He continues to fuck me, even as I come down from the high the instant.

"Sensitive." I whimper as he presses a deep kiss on my cheek.

"Just a little more, my love." He whispers, slotting his lips over mine and kissing away my whine. In between the kisses, he pants harshly against my parted lips. "You're our good girl, aren't you?"

"Yes." I nod my head, surrendering to the sensitivity, while I soon feel another orgasm approaching.

"Gonna be a brat and make us jealous again?" I shake my head at his question while his lips trail to my jawline, speaking lowly in a husky rasp. "Good girl. You're ours, yeah?"

"Yours." I breathe out, and my chest heaves up and down. I moan weakly as he snaps his hips against mine and goes still, painting my walls white at the same time as my second orgasm crashes down.

Jaeyun presses a wet kiss on my lips before he withdraws away from me, and instantly, I close my thighs together as I face the other side of the bed, overpowered by the overall sensitivity. Not even for a few minutes when a pair of hands has me laying on my back once more, but this time, those hands remove the blindfold from my eyes.

As my eyes adjust to the lights, my heart lurches in my chest as soon as I meet Heeseung's eyes, which bear indecipherable emotions. "Hee." I whisper, squeezing my thighs as I feel their cum leaking from my cunt.

Heeseung unfurls a soft smile while he brushes my hair sticking from my face, but I sense danger lurking beneath his gentle disposition. "Hey, sweetheart." He greets me softly, leaning down to seal me into a searing kiss that has me whimpering. He pulls away just to remove every piece of his clothing before kissing me hard again without giving me the time to appreciate his fine glory.

"Sensitive, still." I whimper against his parted lips as he pulls away just a little.

"Shhh, I know, sweetheart." Despite how soft-spoken he is, his action says otherwise, with his hands forcing my thighs to spread and allowing his cock to slide up and down against my wet fold.

"Hee, please." Even as I plead, the arousal arises within me once more. His dark gaze pins me, and without a word, he enters the tip first, then pulls away just to knock the breath out of me when he slams into my cunt hard with his hips snapping painfully against mine.

"Heeseung!" I roll my eyes to the back, feeling the painful stretch at his unforgiving thrusts.

Heeseung breathes heavily above me, still keeping up the momentum as I grip his bicep tightly with my nails digging into his skin. Even as my half-hooded eyelids are threatening to close, his dark eyes stare deeply into mine, which lures me to keep my eyes trained on his face. The pendant of his necklace swings above me with each thrust he delivers. Sweats start to trickle down the side of his face, with his jaw clenching at how my walls are clamping around him as though they never want to let go.

"Was it fun when you let another man touch you?" He speaks in between harsh breaths with his husky voice, snapping his hips against mine in a deliberate thrust that has me seeing stars behind my closed eyelids. My moans bounce off these walls as they get louder and higher when he pounds into me at a vigorous pace, intensifying the butterflies in my tummy as does the impending climax.

"N-No─Unngh!" My body jolts upward at the vigorous thrusts, as if he's fucking his anger into me. I flutter my eyes open just to see him leaning down to plant a soft kiss on my cheek, in contrast to his monstrous pace.

"Seeing you take shots like that makes me want to take you right there and then." I feel him smirking against my skin before biting down hard, which draws a pained moan from me. "You looked so, so beautiful under those lights, especially in that fucking tight dress." He growls against my neck.

With one last thrust, he holds me down with his hip firmly, claiming me with his essence. Frustration bubbles within me as tears stream down my face, hating that I have yet to orgasm despite how sensitive I already am.

Heeseung's hot breaths hit the skin of my neck as he rests his head in the nook of my shoulder while I grasp the opportunity to allow my limbs to relax. "You thought I was done with you?" He asks lethally softly as he peppers slow, sweet kisses on my neck, which probably bears marks and hickeys from all of them.

A whimper clogs the back of my throat as Heeseung effortlessly carries me with his cock still buried in my pulsating cunt, his arms around my waist, while I instinctively cling my arms around his sweaty neck. I manage to catch a glimpse of the rest, who are scattered around the room, as they watch us with a lustrous gaze as they palm themselves. He sits on the edge of the bed, prompting me to straddle him. He fondles my boob, kissing and licking the hardened pearl while I slowly move my hips back and forth in an attempt to rebuild the orgasm he robbed me of.

A strangled moan leaves my lips as he grabs a fist of my hair, tugging it down and prompting me to face the ceiling with my neck bared in his eyes. "That's it, sweetheart." Heeseung presses his lips on my neck, thrusting up as he assists me. "Ride me like a pony."

"A pretty pony, at that." Jay takes me by surprise as he appears behind me, purring in my ear, while my mind has long since been intoxicated by the smell of sex and the heat from our bodies. The pleasure intensifies as Jay fondles my bouncing boobs, tweaking my nipples in between, while my moan and Heeseung's groan reverberate throughout the room.

"Fuck, she squeezed me hard when you played with her nipples." Heeseung shoots Jay a smirk, his thrusts remain consistent, and this time, I feel my orgasm violently knocking down the door.

"Pretty baby's nipples are sensitive, yeah?" Jay coos, repeating his action again before his hand descends to where my cunt is getting ruined by Heeseung. The volume of my moan increases as tears stream down my cheek when Jay rubs my aching clit harshly while the other continues to fondle my boob.

Heeseung releases my hair, resorting to holding me by the nape and inching his face closer to mine. "Are you close, sweetheart?" He asks breathily against my parted lips. "Yeah? Sweetheart is close."

It's like my ability to form any words has been taken away from me, and all I can afford is to moan in response with broken cries.

"Princess has been fucked dumb." Sunghoon appears next to us, and his hand goes underneath my chin to force me to look at him. He kisses my forehead and whispers sweet yet filthy words to me while I continue to weep as Heeseung relentlessly thrusts deeply and Jay rubs my clit fast. The pleasure is too much, sending me to another dimension of complete ecstasy.

With one last broken cry, I come from the highs violently, my body trembling as I squirt. I fall weak into Heeseung, who wraps his arms around me in a loving embrace while riding his high before filling me with his cum once more.

At first, there is silence amidst our harsh, heavy pants, but then something snaps inside of me, prompting me to break into waterworks that don't seem to stop anytime soon.

"Shhh, it's okay." Heeseung holds the back of my head, kissing my cheek with affection. "You did well for us, sweetheart."

I don't respond, overwhelmed by all the emotions and pleasures in just one night, as I desperately cling onto Heeseung with my arms around his torso. They continue to whisper sweet nothings and allow me to weep with broken sobs leaving my lips. I have never felt anything like this before.

"I-I don't know why I'm crying so hard." I manage to utter in between hiccups, my head is tucked in the nook of Heeseung's neck. "I-I'm sorry─"

"It's okay, baby." Jay kisses my crown while he rubs my back soothingly. "Just let it all out."

"What happened?" I hear Jaeyun's footsteps approaching us, and I don't know where he went, but given the faint water running in the bathroom earlier, I presumed that he was from the bathroom.

"She's experiencing a sub-drop." Sunghoon tells him. "I'll explain later."

After what feels like forever, my cries have gone quiet, and I remain weak in Heeseung's embrace, with my eyelids threatening to close. A whimper leaves my lips as Heeseung pulls his softened cock out of my gaping hole. The sensitivity hits me abruptly.

"Let's bring you to the bathtub, okay?" Heeseung murmurs in affection as he brushes the wet strands of my hair away from my face. I manage a feeble nod before another pair of hands pull me away from Heeseung. Jay doesn't allow me to stand as he swiftly carries me in a bridal style, making his way to the bathroom.

I don't know what happened, or maybe my consciousness has failed me, but the next thing I know, my body's been cleaned thoroughly, as has my hair when I flutter my heavy eyelids open to look at Jay, who is drying my hair with a towel.

"Jay." I weakly utter his name, to which his eyes immediately meet mine with concern. "I'm thirsty."

"I know, baby. We'll get you water after I bring you out of the bathroom." Jay speaks to me softly, like a lull. He carries me out of the bathtub and settles me down to sit on top of the toilet bowl. He grabs a shirt that is big enough to cover my thigh area and assists me in wearing it. With every movement of my limbs, I wince in pain. Just before he carries me again, I manage to catch a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror.

To say I'm shocked by the sight is an understatement. Fresh, purple-red hickeys and marks from how hard their teeth dug into the skin of my neck are evident. The rim of my eyes looks slightly red and swollen from all the crying. Despite all of the pain, satisfaction brims within me.

Jay carries me back to the bed, which Sunghoon has just cleaned of any stains from our illicit activities. He places me down on the bed carefully.

"Here." Jaeyun passes a glass of water to Jay, to which the latter assists me in drinking as he holds the glass to my lips as I drink greedily until there is nothing left.

Just then, I remember Aera, which prompts me to stand abruptly. "I need to go back to Aera─ Ow!" I wince, stumbling forward, but Sunghoon catches me in time, now he is fully clothed from head to toe.

"Don't worry about Aera. Sunoo's with her." Sunghoon tells me, carrying me to the other side of the bed and having me settled with my head softly hitting the pillow that tempts me to sleep. "Sleep here." Sunghoon settles himself next to me, his arms wrapping around my body as I face him, spooning me while he gives kisses on my crown every once in a while.

"Heeseung?" I ask languidly, despite the fact that sleep is luring me faster than I like.

"I'm here, sweetheart." I feel the bed behind me dip, and Heeseung kisses my shoulder blade in assurance. "Sleep." And I do.

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#enhypen #enhypen poly #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen reverse harem #heeseung #jay #jake #sunghoon #sunoo #jungwon #ni-ki #enhypen smut

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byullielle · 1 year

Text

In a Lost Corner of Your Heart // Bf!Skz Hyung Line x Gn!Reader

Silent Cry hurt/comfort for y/n who has a shitty day and would rather not talk about it or show themselves crying. this is how it is handled by the most loving man in their life

Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Crying, Est. Relationship

Disclaimer: if you dont like the heavy feely stuff i suggest walk away from this one for now. if it wasn't obvious silent cry is a one of my favorite songs, i love this song sm i will die on this hill. i am totally not projecting, this is not a call for help.

bang chan

You sigh and toe your shoes off, the heavy feeling in your chest getting more and more unbearable by the minute. You sink down to the floor, giving into the gravity that your body has been craving ever since you got off the station. The apartment is dark, and you finally simply let go, unable to contain the frustration clawing up at your chest like you're about to throw up in agony.

First, it was one tear, slipping from your eyes before landing on your palm, then another, then it steadily cascades down your face as you whimper in sheer pity for yourself, slumped down like a ragdoll because of your frustration. You wipe away the tears before it gets replaced by a fresh set, and a choked-up sob loud enough to shake the entire building escapes you. And then you hear it.

Clasping a hand over your mouth you hear shuffling and see the light in your bedroom turn on as Chan suddenly comes bolting out of the room. This shocks you, assuming nobody was even home, to begin with, absolutely no sign of life upon entry. You scramble up to your feet and frantically wipe your tears away, patting off the dust as Chan rushes up to you by the small foyer of your shared apartment.

"Y/N?" concern reverberates in his voice as you shake your head and hold your arms forward, stopping him from touching you lest you wanted to break down again. "I- I'm alright!" your voice cracks a bit and you wince. "I- Just a bit tired, is all," you try convincing him, and yourself.

Chan stands there, arms still stretched out, "Let me hold you, yeah?" he gently cajoles, not wanting to sound like he was pressuring you, "It'll help. If you really don't like it, I'll let go, then you can have the bedroom to yourself for a while, how does that sound sweetheart?" he bargains as you hesitantly nod.

He inches closer to you, taking your hands into his as you sniffle, wanting to wipe the wet tears painting your cheek but he holds a hand up, gently caressing the trail away. You can't look into his eyes, and he doesn't force you to, simply feeling the way the pad of his thumb circles around the back of your palm. Then he closes the space as much as he could, engulfing you in a tight embrace.

The dams break, your lip quivers and you tremble so badly he has to tighten his grip around you and guide you back down on the floor, now encased between his legs as you let out the most guttural cry he has ever witnessed you let out.

He rubs your back, pressing gentle kisses on your shoulder and temple, letting you sob out like a baby in his arms, his hoodie drenched in your tears. "There, there," he whispers against you temple, rocking you back and forth in his arms, "It hurts?"

"So much!" you wail out, tugging him closer as he gently runs his hands in your hair. "Chan it hurts," you let out in a rough cry, and he keeps his ministrations up, further driving you into crying but ultimately lightening the weight on your shoulder. "Okay, okay," he whispers, "I got you. Don't worry, just keep crying," he rubs your shoulder.

"I'll be right here, yeah?" he assures as the sobs soften, "I'll never leave your side,"

lee know

He could feel that something was off when you started spacing off at dinner, unable to hold eye contact with him the moment you got home. And honestly, you were pretty tired and frustrated after most probably one of the shittiest days you've ever had in your life. It broke your ego and your heart all at once and eating seemingly felt like a chore, a trigger.

You've been picking at your vegetables, the beans on your plate rolling around as your boyfriend closely observes you, getting worried bit by bit at the disinterest in food.

"Y/N-ah?" he calls out, snapping you out of the pit you're about to fall into, a hum escaping your throat in response only to be stopped by a heavy lump in your throat. Your shoulders felt heavy, and your eyes stung but you did your best to look up at him. "Are you full?" is what he asks as you quietly nod. He hums and stands up, going over to your side and taking your plate, "You haven't touched a lot, if you get hungry it'll be in the fridge," he informs, pressing your idle body to his torso before running a hand on your head, smoothing your hair out, "I can heat it up for you later," he offers before walking to the refrigerator.

You aren't sure if it was that gesture, or the fact that you felt even shittier for having him witness his food be unfinished but you barely feel the first trickle of tears until the glass on the dining room table is decorated with flattened drops. You bring a hand up you cheek and you realize that you're crying.

And then the relief mixed with disappointment floods in. It barely comes out as a squeak, yet it still makes Minho turn. You don't see his face, but his eyes widen at the sudden influx of tears hitting the dinner table. You simply let it all out little by little, easing into the tears as the events of today come back at you with a vengeance, your heart squeezing in despair so much you couldn't help but bring a hand up your chest.

And then suddenly, a glass of water and a box of tissues are placed in front of you, before feeling Minho's gentle hand cup your face and coerce you to look at him. He wipes your face with tissue, then places a folded piece in between your nose. You hesitate but you blow into it anyway, muttering a soft and broken, "Sorry," before he crumples it up and takes your hands, pressing your foreheads together as you close your eyes, still sniffling and crying while he rubs comforting squiggles and shapes onto the skin of your palm.

"Bad day?" he asks, voice so sweet you could feel another influx of emotions hit you like a truck. You wordlessly nod, another set of violent sobs racking your body into a tremble. Minho presses a kiss to your forehead, then on your cheek, then on your lips—chaste yet filled with love. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

You shake your head. And he simply concedes, "I'll be here to listen. Just keep at it," he encourages, making sure you take a few sips of water first before carrying on, "My brave brave jagiya," he sighs out and pulls you into his arms, your head leaning on his shoulders and his arms around you comfortingly. "Thank you," you manage to mutter out.

"Always," he whispers against the crown of your head. "It'll be okay,"

changbin

You are waiting for Changbin in your car, the grip on the wheel so tight the leather cover squeaks against the material underneath, your knuckles white and bones almost threatening to pop out of your skin. You're willing the stress away, glaring ahead as you try to let the harsh feelings swirling through you simply simmer down for another day because you've already had a meltdown in the bathroom a while ago, you're not about to have another one. In Changbin's presence too no less.

A knock on the window jolts you up from your thoughts, seeing Changbin peering through the window as you clumsily unlock the car while plastering a somewhat sincere smile at him. "Hey," you greet, a bit stiff but if you talked or moved any further you could feel the emotions wait to pounce and hold your rationality hostage.

"Hey there gorgeous," he leans over and presses a kiss on your cheek while settling into the passenger's seat, "Thanks for picking me up baby," he smiles at you before stopping and looking at the grip you have on the steering wheel, a trail of veins popping out against your flesh.

"Let's head home?" you ask, a bit soullessly while he hums both in apprehension and suspicion. "Yeah," he simply answers.

You take a deep breath and then start the car, hands on the steering wheel and still on neutral, foot to the break. Your body locked up, like if you were to remove your foot off the brake and shift to first gear you'd just lose it. So you don't, and you sit there plastered and frozen to your seat like an idiot.

Changbin is looking at you, concern washing over his features before he reaches over and pulls the handbrake up, turning the ignition off. "Baby?" he clasps a hand over your tense arms and then you just break down right there. You slam your head against the stiff steering wheel, starting to cry as the tears sting your eyes before rolling down your face.

Bin, concerned for your forehead, unbuckles his seatbelt before running to your side, opening your door before unbuckling your own seatbelt, and turning you towards him. There is a death grip on his wrist but that didn't matter to him—because when you look up and meet his eyes you could see his heartbreak right in front of you. "It's okay," he sighs and pulls you into a hug, your face pressed to his chest. "Oh baby," he coos, your hand still locked on his wrist, "What happened?"

"It's bad Bin," you wobbly let out, a cough knocked out of you out of the pressure building up in your chest, a desperate wheeze escaping you. Changbin gets to eye level with you, the erratic breathing worrying him so much. "Wait, baby, breathe," he guides your hand to his chest, making sure you look directly into his eyes, "Breathe in, please Y/N. Breathe in," he guides you while breathing in slowly himself. You try to mirror him, a shaky yet slowly steadying a deep breath in filling your lungs.

"Then out," he prompts, his chest slightly expanding as you scramble to follow along. "Slowly baby, one more," he cajoles out of you. It takes you a while, the sharp pain in your chest out of frustration ebbing in and out of your system while tears are steadily wiped away by him.

Your breathing eventually evens, rendering your cries into controlled and soft heaves. "You alright? Breathing okay?" he asks, running his hand to the sides of your hair before you lay your head towards the direction of his hand, closing your eyes.

"Kinda, yeah," you tiredly mumble out before he sighs in relief and presses a kiss to the back of your palm. "It's okay to cry my baby, should I drive?"

You quietly nod, shakily standing up from the driver's side before throwing yourself into Bin's arms, pressing a slightly damp and shaky kiss on his shoulder. "'M sorry,"

"Never apologize for something like this baby," he assures, rubbing your back. "Never, ever, apologize."

hyunjin

You wanted to throw your phone across the room but that wasn't plausible. With the infuriating running through your mind overtime, you grumpily stand up from the couch and head to your room. You don't necessarily mean to slam it shut but the loud sound rings through yours and unknowingly—even Hyunjin is shocked by the sudden noise, heard from his studio.

You start pacing around your room, running and tugging at your hair, nervously biting your nails, and ultimately feeling the need to just peel your skin off your muscles and implode on the spot, emotions too high for you to contain properly. Your eyes sting, hurt, and burn to the point of rubbing on them roughly just to keep the tears at bay but somehow it gets worse.

Because that is what pushes you to full-on cry, unable to hold it back anymore so while you rub your eyes out the tears follow along. A whimper escapes you before a knock on the door startles you, "Y/N? My love, you alright there?" he asks before you whine a 'leave me alone,'

You don't hear a response from him. And that was better for you because you give in and simply crash into the bed and full-on plant your face into one of your pillows, muffling the sobs escaping you while you curl into yourself and just allow yourself to feel. It's cold, and very unwelcoming as you feel it fuel your frustration even more before you give in. "Hyunjin-ah," you call out, mangled as it barely becomes coherent but not even a second in he is entering the room as if he never really left the door.

"You're upset," he points out before crawling into the bed with you, pulling the blankets with him before covering you both in the comfort of the soft material. He pulls you closer, legs slotted against each other while you grip his shirt tightly. "I hate feeling like this," it comes out more desperately than you'd like, wincing at the sound of your voice but Hyunjin hushes you, "I know. But it's also normal to feel like this on certain days," he assures you, "What is it that you're crying about my love?" he gently asks, "No matter how small, you deserve to cry, you deserve to lay your worries out so that it doesn't burden you. I am here to share that burden," he rubs your back while your tears soak the pillow your head is laid upon.

"Hyunjin-ah," you weakly cry out. He detaches a bit, looking down at your red and splotchy face before pressing a kiss on your lips, the pressure so comforting you let out another short sob. "You're safe. You're loved, and you aren't alone," he affirms, waiting it out as you bare your worries in front of him, the assuring and gentle touches to your back lifting the boulder digging into your heart.

lemme know if you want a maknae line for this one

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turnthemasunder-if · 1 year

Note

I have a NSFW question, so please be aware! *Kisses Maria's forehead and quickly leaves the room before she murders me*

Thank you.

Well Happy advance Bday Gift from me Friend! So I decided to make this snippet very cute and corny at the same time. I hope you enjoyed it :) Also sing along lol.

(Maria's POV)

Maria's body trembled with exertion as she pushed herself to the limits of her physical and mental strength. Beads of sweat dripped from her furrowed brow, mingling with the sharp sting of determination in her eyes. Every breath she took was a battle cry, fueling the fire burning within her.

The silver sticks in her hands felt weightless, an extension of her very being. With each swing, they sliced through the air with a swiftness that defied comprehension. The clashing of metal reverberated through the training room, a symphony of power and precision. Maria's muscles screamed in protest, but she ignored their pleas, channeling her pain into every strike.

Her senses were heightened, the smell of sweat and leather filling her nostrils, mingling with the metallic tang of anticipation. The room seemed to pulse with energy, the air charged with electricity. She could taste victory, tantalizingly close, as she danced through the intricate steps of her training routine.

Then she brought the sticks together and extending it into a staff, twirling it faster and faster in her fingertips before bringing it behind her back and settling into a stance. She swept her arms out and slammed the staff onto the floor, creating a resounding thud that seemed to shake the entire room.

She leaned close, eyes darting to her side, body taut and tensed. Something was wrong, a creeping dread settling in the pit of her stomach. The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end, then the door to the training room burst open and figure came rushing in and closing it behind them. "Tarnish?" she asked curious and concerned at the same time.

Tarnish who always exudes charisma and confidence is now shaken like a leaf and sweating profosuly. She gasped and went up to him. "Whats wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost? Who followed you?. Tarnish's mouth opened and closed, but no sound came out. His body was still shaking as his gaze darted wildly around the room. He let out a low groan, clutching his side where a dark stain had begun to spread across his shirt. "Maria I need to tell you something!" they gasp and clutching their wounded side.

Maria lean close and using her body so that Tarnish can lean on to her for support. "Tarnish what wrong tell me?". Tarnish slowly eases down and put their back on the wall. Then Tarnish lean forward, blood dripping from his mouth. "Maria you must be brave, it's a doozy" he whispers urgently. She stares at them, fear rising in her throat. She tried to make sense of his words, but all she could see was the blood and the fear in his eyes. "What are you talking about?" she cried.

Then without any hesitation, Tarnish rush forward and kissed Maria on the forehead. "Bullseye!" they say laughing and moving to Maria's side and opening the door and exiting it. Maria is left shell shocked and confused."Tarnisshhhhhhhhhh!" she screamed.

She runs after Tarnish, seeing the end of their jacket biwlloing before diappreing on a ahllway. "I will whoop your ass till kingdom come!" Maria curses and give chase. Then apporaching the turn, she saw Tarnish entereda room and closing it with a bang. She rashead foward and bursted in.

Then pausing before she reached Tarnish, her senses were overwhelmed. The space was dark and dusty with a the right light to see everything, with cobwebs festooning every corner. But what stunned Maria was the banner that was hanging in the middle it reads. "Happy Valentines Day!" then a music started to play in the air with Tarnish dancing and singing.

If you're alone and you need a friend Someone to make you forget your problems Just come along baby take my hand I'll be your lover tonight

Whoa oh whoa oh This is what I wanna do Whoa oh whoa oh Let's have some fun

Whoa oh whoa oh One on one just me and you Whoa oh whoa oh Boom boom boom boom

I want you in my room We'll spend the night together From now until forever

Boom boom boom boom I wanna go boom boom And spend the night together Together in my room

Whoa oh whoa oh Everybody get on down Whoa oh whoa oh

Vengaboys are back in town Whoa oh whoa oh This is what I wanna do Whoa oh whoa oh Let's have some fun Whoa oh whoa oh One on one just me and you Whoa oh whoa oh

They started to dance with hips swaying, legs dipping up and dwon and fingers near their chest and forming a heart shape. Tarnish is acting like those Japanese anime dancers that Maria she's in T.V. so it made her giggle a little but she quickly composes herself.

Tarnish begins to advance and moving their way toward Maria. The room seems to shift with each move they make, colors dancing and swirling, making the world into a glorious mess. Maria stares at their soulful eyes, a warmness creeping over her body, and a shiver racing up her spine. "What are you doing?" she ask albeit disgusted and touched at their gesture.

"Remember the time that we have a mission in Paris during that summer festival," Tarnish asks sheepishly. "Yeah, you caught me crying and my ice cream had melted. I wasn't upset because of the rain. I was homesick and missing my parents. But then you walked up to me, and offered me a flower. I thought you were so cute, that I just wanted to keep talking with you for the rest of the night. That's when we became best close friends. But also remember that moment when we danced under the moonlit night on that gazebo? And we were the only ones there, and we twirled and spun, and suddenly you just leaned in and kissed me.

Maria blinked. Her mind was reeling, she could feel her heart pounding in her chest. She'd always been attracted to Tarnish, but she never imagined they would share the same feelings.".

"Well, I know you probably thought I was just being silly or messing around, but that kiss meant a lot to me. It was my first real kiss. And to this day, I never regretted it." Tarnish's voice had dropped to a whisper, their words weaving a spell over Maria. She found herself closing the gap between them, their bodies just inches apart. "I was afraid to tell you how I felt. I was afraid you wouldn't feel the same way. And, to be honest, I wasn't sure if I wanted to commit to anything. But now, I see how silly I was being. Spending all these years loving you, but too afraid to admit it. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I love you, Maria."

A slow smile spread across Maria's face, and she felt a rush of emotions welling up inside of her but she crossed her arms she's not yet ready to crack her tough facade just yet. "Really?" she ask voice flat and even. "Yes," Tarnish said nervously. "Uh huh!" Maria looked into Tarnish eyes,!

"You may have hit me with a few corny jokes and pranks today, but you also swept me off my feet with your song and dance number. I can't tell you how touched I was by your thoughtfulness and your heartfelt words.".

"I can't believe this is actually happening," Tarnish said, their hands running through Maria's hair. But Maria swat their hands away. "I didn't say I agreed to your love!" she clicked her tongue.

"NO FAIR!" Tarnish pouts. "Even though I did that dance just for you?"

"Especially when you did that dance!" Maria deadpans, before bursting into laughter. "But really, that was very sweet of you. No one's ever done anything like that for me before."

"Then maybe you should take a chance with me," Tarnish teased. "I bet you can make me see fireworks."

"As long as I don't have to see another dance of yours," Maria snarked. "But seriously, I'm happy that you shared this with me."

"You're not happy yet," Tarnish laughed. "Wait until you see what I have in store." Then without warning, Tarnish planted their lips against Maria's. Maria was taken aback by the suddenness, but after a moment, she closed her eyes and let the feeling wash over her.

They leaned into the kiss, the world around them melting into a blur of sensations. Maria could feel the warmth of Tarnish's breath, the faint tickle of their fingers resting gently on her shoulders. She never imagined that a kiss could be so powerful, that a single moment could change the course of her entire life. Then she steps back and raised a hand and bitch slap Tarnish on the cheek. "Ouch!" Tarnish says rubbing their cheek with a sly grin on their lips.

"No kissing without my permission!" Maria chastise them playfully. "Whatever you say, boss."

"Now then, why don't we go catch a movie or maybe grab some lunch?" Tarnish suggested. "Sure, why not?" Maria agreed, and they headed for the door.

"By the way," Maria added. "This was the best Valentine's Day gift anyone's ever given me."

"And you haven't seen anything yet my loving side.!"

With a laugh, Maria reached out and took Tarnish's hand in her own, and they walked out into the chilling moonlight, the scent of the city and fresh air wafting to her nose.

#maria #TTA #Cute Bunny #creative writers #writers on tumblr #thanks for the ask #ask me anything

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dreaminghour · 1 year

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Obi-Wan & Anakin - Parade

Event: @domaystic Fandom: Star Wars Rating: Teen and Up Prompt: 14 Parade Ship: Gen Obi-Wan & Anakin Context: Canon-verse. On the eaves of a brewery in Er-Mar, two spirits sit and watch the festivities. Cross posted to AO3. Words: 1086

Night was seldom so quiet in the little town of Er-Mar. The stone streets were empty, only a solitary inhabitant tapping a stick as they walked. A breeze carried the smell of sulfur from the west. In the sky, long gray clouds traced the path the shuttles had taken as the last of the imperial garrison had fled.

Slowly, the sound of music reached the town.

On the eaves of the brewery, just above where the Nive family lived, two translucent spirits sat. Their forms, should you be able to see them, were bright blue. They were slouched close together, quiet but leaning their heads toward one another as though they were whispering.

"Can you see them?" the younger asked.

"Patience, my young friend," the white-haired ghost said.

"Not that young anymore," the younger grumbled, but he was ignored.

Anakin scrunched his nose a moment, scowling at Obi-Wan, while the other man ignored him and smiled mildly at the cluster of swaying lights that carried chanting and the beating of drums.

"You've dragged me all across the galaxy," Anakin said, "to all sorts of places I've never heard of, let alone set foot on, to show me the same sights over and over. Doesn't it ever tire you?"

"Why, does it tire you?" Obi-Wan asked, tilting his head toward Anakin, his smile knowing.

Anakin, as expected, did not reply.

Slowly the revelers approached.

As spirits were not bound by physics, they had been there at the launch platform; they had listened to the locals yell in shrill and caustic language as the imperial governor fled with little more than the clothes they wore. News had come late to planet Aji. It had been weeks now since the emperor had been killed, his ashes scattered to the solar winds of the universe. Apparently, Anakin had learned, it was not uncommon for the power hungry to vainly hope the change was not real. But change was here at last.

Now, they watched as beneath their feet, a handful, dozens, and then hundreds of people swept through the town's gate. People were banging on tin bells, making joyful noises, buzzing instruments and calling to one another. The Nive family had gone out, but someone was still asleep inside and they now came to the window, shouting and cursing at the revelers before stepping out into the throng as well.

A crack and a distant boom brought the spirits' attention back to the distant river. Fireworks were now being shot up into the sky from the launch platform. Technicians laughed as they carefully lit fuses, daredevils laughed from the nearby shelter of trees as the village itself shook and rattled. The townspeople cheered. Even more visitors came, streaming in from remote settlements and camps. The Nive casks were cracked open, someone was frying sweet and tangy meat, the smell of sulfur more pronounced now.

Anakin leaned against Obi-Wan and Obi-Wan let him.

Each time a burst of light and color was unleashed, people cheered. Large blossoms of green and red, dances of blue, yellow and white, then sparkles of purple, pink, orange lit up the countryside. The warm lamps of the town seemed dim each time the fireworks exploded.

Children and tookas ran between the crush of raucous adults. Eventually there was such a long pause from the launch platform the people began to murmur that it was finally over. Anakin smiled secretively to Obi-Wan.

Then, with a stupendous bang, the finale. Dozens of fireworks went up in quick succession, a rattling roar that was not unlike cannon fire but dazzled everyone. The people gazed up at the sky as the fireworks lit up their entire world, hands held to their hearts as the reverberations shook their entire bodies, made them tremble, deafened and blinded them. One child covered their ears and tucked their face against their parent's legs.

And then it was done. Everyone seemed dazed for a moment, but at long last the night was quiet. The sound of crickets, of distant music, of chatter slowly began to fill their ears once more. Children shrieked and shook their heads to regain their hearing more quickly. Finally, the stragglers returned from the launch pad and the village settled. Not to sleep, but to sit and spend time with one another. Slowly, people began to go home, taking guests with them. No window was dark.

Dawn slowly began to color the horizon.

"Is that it?" Anakin asked.

"I suspect some of these parties will go on for days, if not weeks," Obi-Wan replied, dryly amused.

"No, I meant, is that the last one? The last imperial outpost to be removed?"

"More or less," Obi-Wan said. "Some will go underground; there will always be holdouts."

"You wanted me to see how happy they were," Anakin continued. "That's the lesson here. You wanted me to see how happy people are now that the empire is gone."

"Why must everything be a lesson?" asked Obi-Wan.

"Because I know you, old man."

The sky began to grow pale, birds returned after being frightened away, even wandering among the revelers, pecking at crumbs beneath their feet. Children were being carried or tucked into makeshift beds while others lingered, all but swaying on their feet.

"Yes, I wanted you to see them. Not because the empire made them unhappy, you always knew that deep down."

Anakin dropped his head to hide his face, but spirits didn't blush in shame. These two were so deeply in tune with one another however, that Obi-Wan felt it in his heart. He didn't remark on it, he continued on.

"I wanted you to see the good you've done."

Anakin's head snapped up with fearful surprise.

"Master, don't mock me—"

"Now, now," Obi-Wan raised a hand, "that title is well and truly dead for you, I think. I am your friend and as such, I need to show you that you have done good."

"Not enough," Anakin replied, "never enough to make up for all of it."

"But you've freed them. You killed the evil that poisoned our galaxy—" he held up his hand again— "poison which was there long before you and I had ever even met."

Anakin closed his eyes. If spirits could cry, tears would have pricked his eyes and run down his pale cheeks.

"You did that. With help, of course, but no one ever is alone. Not even when they feel most abandoned."

Anakin accepted Obi-Wan's embrace and wept as Obi-Wan began to stroke his hair.

Thank you for reading ♡ fic log → @dreaminghour-archive

#star wars #dreamy does fic #dreamy does domaystic #domaystic2023 #2023day14

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pokedelivery-girl · 9 months

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it's like 3 days after new years but i still gotta say: I HATE FIREWORKS!! SO MUCH!! THIS APARTMENT HAS SHITTY NOISE ISOLATION FROM THE OUTSIDE AND THOSEE BANGS JUST!! REVERBERATE THROUGH MY ENTIRE BODY!! IT FEELS BAD!!

i swear i'm like a scared purrloin with those things... the colours are sweet but the EXPLOSIONS, ideals up high...

#pkmn irl #pokemon irl #pokeblogging

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lilyevanstan1325 · 9 months

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🥀 Falling Apart 🥀

Chapter 8

Steve POV

My hands grip the edge of the sink with so much force that I hear the ceramic screeching tightly between my fists, creaking for mercy.

I look at my reflection in the mirror and I don't recognize myself anymore.

A destroyed expression distorts my features, shining eyes and clenched jaw.

Her expression.

The only thing I can see reflected in the mirror is her expression when I told her I still love her.

A sad smile peeks on my lips.

What did I expect?

I shake my head grabbing it in my hands.

I already knew it and yet having her confirmation was far more devastating than I had even remotely imagined.

I feel my heart beating furiously in my chest and my breathing speeds up, speeds up until I find myself panting heavily.

I turn my back on my reflected image and lean towards the shower, turning on the water and within a few minutes the room begins to fill with steam.

I turn back to face the mirror and with a quick movement I take off the t-shirt letting it fall into the sink.

I pass a hand on the mirror removing the steam that has deposited on it, forming a patina and tarnishing the shiny surface.

As soon as my image is clearly visible again my gaze immediately falls on the necklace around my neck.

Her engagement ring stands out bright, as if to mock me for keeping alive, all these years, the hope that she could still love me.

Making fun of me for deluding myself.

What a jerk I've been.

Instinctively in a fit of anger I grab it but when I try to tear it away I can't.

I try again, fixing my own eyes firmly in the mirror, but I fail again.

It is as if an invisible hand prevented me from doing this.

Because in spite of everything you love her and you cannot separate from her.You'll never be able to, dude.

The voice of my conscience is right.

As hurt and humiliated as I feel, I can't hate her.

How could I?

She suffered, just like me.

We are both victims.

Victims of ourselves, victims of things greater than us.

Both of us in our life have lost all the people we loved.

Our parents, our friends, our children.

We are both just two empty shells with the only difference that she made an effort to move on.

She has started living again.

And how can I blame her for that?

I too would do anything to move on, to get better.

To no longer feel all this damned and fucking pain that slowly, day after day, corrodes all that is alive left in me.

I loosen my grip around the ring and slowly spread my fingers letting it go.

This is certainly not the solution to get better.

Hatred, anger, resentment are never the right solution.

I sigh trying to regain some self-control and quickly finish undressing, then I enter the shower and immerse myself under the hot water jet.

I place my hands on the tiles in front of me while bending my head forward I allow the water to flow along my entire body.

It's over.

I have to deal with it and surrender to this new life.

To this new life without her.

I will look to the bright side to succeed.

I'll get my children back, I'll get my best friend back and slowly, step by step, I'll make it.

I will get up and live on.

As I always have.

I will continue to survive as I always have.

I will find the strength to do it.

I'm not saying it will be easy but I have to at least try, I mean seriously try.

I have responsibilities in my life.

I am Captain America.

I am an Avengers.

I am a father.

I can't let myself go like this.

I am a point of reference for many people and I cannot afford to disappoint them, any more than I have already done at least.

I lost Peggy.

I lost Lily.

Maybe I'm just doomed not to have a woman by my side.

It won't be that hard, right?

I lift my face, letting the water wash away the few tears I allowed myself to shed when suddenly the door opens violently, banging vigorously against the wall.

The noise reverberates throughout the room making me tremble.

Immediately I turn my gaze towards the source of the noise and find myself in front of two dark eyes full of anger, light orange veins adorn the pupils creating intricate weaves.

"Why did you say those words?" Lily asks me in a decidedly pissed tone.

I feel panicked.

I try to cover myself with my hands as best I can, a warmth blazes on my face.

“Elisabeth!Could you get out?" I stammer embarrassed.

"No.Tell me why you said all those things” she replies crossing her arms over her chest.

Her thin, sharp gaze is directed straight into my eyes.

"We can talk later?I'd be taking a shower.I'm naked”

Lily snorts.

"There's nothing I haven't seen before, Steve" she says, rolling her eyes.

Yeah, nothing she hasn't already seen…it's a pity that her presence, a few steps away from my naked body, does nothing but tease the sleeping beast inside me.

That beast that scratches unstoppable to be released.

The same one that keeps telling me to grab her and fuck her.

To take back what's rightfully mine.

"Lily, I think..."

"Tell me why did you say that"

"Told what?" I burst out, tired of all this.

Defeated I let my arms fall to my sides, right now I can't even worry about being naked under her gaze.

"What are you talking about, Lily?" I ask, exhausted, running a hand over my face.

She continues to keep her arms crossed, her hands clenched in fists with even more force revealing her knuckles as white as salt to my gaze.

I return my gaze to her face.

Her hair is all messed up, as if she ran her hands over and over again.

Her eyes burn.

Her lips are a hard, thin line.

“You told me you would do everything to make our life go back to the way it was before but then instead you acted as if I didn't exist, you avoided me as if I were a contagious disease.And now...now you go out with this bullshit that you still love me?What the hell is your problem, Rogers?" she yells at me visibly pissed off.

I keep watching her as I try to find the words to answer her.

Really she doesn't understands why I did it?

"What the hell does Loki have to do with it now?" she bursts, rolling her eyes.

"I did it to protect your relationship with Loki.I admit, I was wrong to tell you that I still love you but I couldn't help myself.In fact, do you know what?" I answer pointing a finger at her, "I am tired.I'm tired of holding back.I'm tired of always trying to do the right thing for the others.I love you and if this is a problem for you and your beloved Loki, well...it's none of my business"

I look at her dazed...

I thought I was the one out of my mind but apparently she is the one who has lost the reason.

"Are you serious?He's your perfect fucking new boyfriend.He's my problem!Oh God, it's all so fucking absurd.You, me, this story” I laugh joylessly.

Lily stands looking at me in silence.

Her eyes study me carefully, they move from one eye to the other, even lingering on my lips a couple of times.

But then something changes in her.

Her eyes slowly return to normal, losing that disturbing but extremely fascinating shade of orange.

The anger that boiled in her seems to fade until it disappears completely.

"Why have you avoided me, Steve?"

Again this question.

Why does she wants to know?

Why does she wants me to humble me to the last?

Why does she forces me to lose even my last shred of dignity?

I sigh wearily.

“Because I realized that near you I risk losing control.And I don't want to put you in a position…let's say uncomfortable.I don't want you to have problem with Loki.When I told you I didn't mean to intrude on your new life I was serious”

Lily lowers her gaze, torturing her delicate hands.

She moves uncomfortably, shifting her weight from foot to foot.

"Because you don't love me enough?Or because I'm not worth it?" she whispers faintly leaving me completely speechless.

Disappointed.

Incredulous.

I shake my head even though she can't see me.

“Because I love you too much and I don't want to get you in trouble” I sadly admit.

Yeah, I love her so much I'm willing to bite my tongue until it bleeds rather than get her into trouble with Loki.

Lily jerks her head up at my words and catching me totally off guard she moves towards me until she enters the shower.

I instinctively step back, freezing only when I perceive the cold tiles behind my back.

A shiver shakes me, I don't know if it is from the cold tiles or from hers proximity.

Now Lily is under the jet of water that quickly soaks her hair, her clothes.

While my heart beats at the speed of light I try to look at her eyes groped to understand what is happening, but I don't find them.

I can't find her gaze because her eyes are fixed on my chest.

And without needing her to say anything, I know exactly what she is looking at.

Her engagement ring.

I observe her, holding my breath, as her hand rises and delicately rests on the small gold and diamond ring hanging from my neck.

Her shy and frightened fingers follow its contours.

The water continues to pour over our heads, filling the silence around us with its constant murmuring.

"Have you always kept it with you?" she asks in a whisper.

Her voice trembles and in my stomach a million butterflies take flight.

"Always"

A single word that vibrates with emotion.

Lily raises her head, pointing her big dark eyes at me, immobilizing me like a predator does with his prey.

And it doesn't matter that I'm twice her size, right now her gaze can make me feel so small and helpless.

"Kiss me" she whispers trembling, violently bringing me back to reality.

My eyes widen in amazement.

In my head thousands of thoughts collide chaotically.

My instincts tell me to grab her and give her what she wants but, even though I said earlier I'm tired of holding back, I try to make reason prevail.

I can't disrespect her like that.

"No" I try to say.

Can a simple no drain of all my energy?

Apparently it can.

Lily's hurt gaze hurts like a stab right in the heart.

"You can't really ask me this, Elisabeth"

"Why?"

"Because Loki..."

"What the hell does Loki have to do with it?Could you just forget about him for one fucking moment?"

I open my mouth to say something but then close it again, unable to answer her.

"But he..." I insist.

"He's just a friend, Steve" she snaps, interrupting me and leaving me speechless again.

"What?"

I think I didn't understand.

My confused look prompts her to give me an explanation.

“Loki and I are just friends, over the years we have become great friends.He has been my point of reference in the chaos of my life.We helped each other.Without him…without him I could not say with all certainty that I would still be alive today”

Slowly Lily's words take on a meaning.

Just friends.

My heart resumes the desperate race in my chest and the blood runs frantically through my veins, sending me high.

An unstoppable frenzy takes hold of me but I force myself to remain calm.

"I see how he looks at you, for him you are more than a friend..."

Lily surprises me with one of her crystalline laughs.

With her hands she brushes her wet hair away from her face, smiling at me definitely amused.

"He just does it to piss you off"

I knew it.

And Tony calls me paranoid.

“Loki has lost a lot because of Thanos, he has also lost someone very important…someone that neither I nor anyone else can ever replace” adds Lily, looking at her feet and then slowly returning her gaze to my face.

A few drops of water lie embedded on her wet lashes, like pearls lying in a shell.

On her lips, red as sin, now a very sweet smile opens up.

"So...are you kissing me now?" she asks taking a step closer and raising her hands until they rest gently on my chest, right above my heart.

I am sure that under them she can feel my crazy heartbeat.

I close my eyes enjoying the sweet sensation of her hands on me, where her fingers pass my skin is covered with shivers.

New yet familiar sensations ignite my senses.

Rushes of pure adrenaline bring me back to life.

I can finally feel alive.

Again.

Each beat, each breath suddenly becomes sharper.

Again.

With emotion I raise my hands and place them on her face, incredulous and excited to be able to touch her again.

With my thumbs at first I caress her cheekbones, basking in the sensation of her soft skin under my fingertips and then, without being able to help it, I caress her lips.

First the upper one, then the bottom one.

They barely open while a moan rises from her throat that has the power to make even my last faint hesitations collapse and so...

So a moment later my lips are on her in a sweet kiss full of unspoken words.

A kiss that tastes like a welcome home after a long and exhausting journey.

Our lips brush without haste.

Only with the knowledge that we have finally found ourselves.

Finally together again, united again.

Again we against the world.

Her hands shyly go up to my neck, clinging to the back of it.

Gently massaging it.

I kiss her tender lips one more time.

And one more time again.

But now it's not enough for me anymore.

Continuing to hold her face in my hands, I kiss her forehead first, then her cheeks and finally the tip of her nose, snatching an amused chuckle from her.

When I finally lower myself back to her lips this time I trace the contours with my tongue and without any effort her mouth opens inviting me to deepen the kiss.

My tongue slips eagerly into her warm mouth, colliding with her velvety tongue that immediately surrenders to me letting me dictate the pace of the kiss.

My hands go down her neck and exerting a little pressure with my fingers I invite her to bend her head back in order to have better access to her mouth.

Her hands go up towards my head, squeezing some locks of my hair between them, pulling them when I passionately bite her lower lip and then suck it with devotion.

A faint moan arises from her throat that has the power to sweep away any fear, any inhibition.

I step forward using my body to squeeze her against the shower glass.

The erection in the midst of my things grows and in search of relief I rub it against her abdomen still covered with too many, far too many, layers of fabric.

My fingers go down to her breasts in search of the buttons of her shirt and after finding them I begin to unbutton them.

But at the second button I lose my patience, I am too excited and high to waste time with these damned tiny button , so grabbing the two ends of her shirt I jerk it violently making them pop.

Lily starts violently.

I move away from her lips, deciding to open my eyes to enjoy the show in front of me.

Lily gasps furiously, her eyes bright and her lips red from the kiss.

Her chest rises and falls quickly.

I grab her shirt and slide it off her shoulders.

The vision in front of my eyes becomes more and more exciting.

She wears nothing under it.

Her large, voluptuous breasts are a breathtaking sight.

Her belly isn't as soft as I remembered.

Now it is more toned, defined but still extremely sensual.

I would waste hours looking at her perfect body but at the moment there is only one thing I want to do.

There will be time for gentleness and calm.

But not now.

And in her eyes I can see my own urgency.

I finish taking off her shirt which ends up under our feet.

I dive back on her lips, devouring them like a hungry man.

Her fingers trace imaginary paths on my chest, on my abdomen, following the same path of the water that continues to wet our bodies.

Unstoppable.

Unstoppable like the animal fury that seems to have taken possession of us.

I gasp violently when I feel her fingers wrap around my cock and a shiver runs through my spine.

I bite the delicate skin of her neck and a growl of pure excitement leaves my lips.

With frantic gestures I tear off her leggings followed immediately by her panties, leaving her completely naked.

I grab her ass and squeezing it hard I lift her up inviting her to tie her legs around my waist.

We both pant like we're running a marathon.

As if we have already reached the orgasm.

Lily sensually rubs against my pelvis sending me to heaven.

We kiss for a few more minutes, just tongues and teeth, and then unable to restrain myself I grab my cock with one hand guiding it towards her warm and inviting fold.

She trembles in my arms.

"Steve" she whimpers making me stop.

I try to catch my breath, just enough to be able to speak.

“I can stop.If you don't want to…if you don't feel like it we can stop” I whisper on her lips, kissing her again.

Slowly.

Lily shakes her head.

Her lips rest on my collarbone.

She acts as if she wants to say something but she is ashamed of it.

"What's going on, honey?"

Her black eyes streaked with orange lift from my chest, returning to focus their attention on mine.

A shy smile spreads across her face.

"You called me that again.I had missed it”

I smile at her for her sweetness as I kiss her forehead.

"If you will let me I will continue to do it forever" I whisper on her lips kissing her again, sinking my tongue back into her welcoming and submissive mouth.

Lily covers my mouth with her hand.

"I would like to ask you to make love with me but..." Lily whispers after pulling away from my lips.

"As I have already told you if you want we can stop.I don't want to force you to do anything.I don't want you to feel compelled to do something.I don't want to…”

“Don't interrupt me” she scolds me.

We smile at each other.

"As I was saying, I would like to ask you to make love with me but that's not what I want"

I feel a hint of disappointment inside me but I can't blame her.

It's been five years and I can't expect she to feel ready for all of this.

"Steve, look at me"

I didn't realize I looked down until her bewitching voice calls me.

We stare at each other intensely, eye to eye.

Blue and black that merge.

With an exhausting slowness Lily interrupts our eye contact to bring her lips to my ear.

Her warm breath tickles me sending a rush of pleasure straight to my cock.

"I don't want to make love with you because I want you to fuck me.Hard.Fuck me until I forget my name” she whispers sensually.

My heart skips a beat.

And that is enough to make me lose my reason.

Now it's just flesh and instinct.

I turn so that her back is pressed against the shower tiles and returning to grab my dick, I guide it towards her pussy.

I move it up and down, rubbing it against her inviting cunt and then with a decisive thrust I penetrate her.

Lily moans, her moan mixed with pleasure.

I remain motionless inside her warm and enveloping body to give her time to get used to my violent intrusion and I take the opportunity to observe her as I have not done for a long time.

For years now.

Her head is slightly tilted to the side, a half-open mouth and a distorted expression.

It's hard to tell if it's pain or ecstasy.

Her hair made even darker by the water sticks to the sides of her face.

"Are you all right, honey?" I ask her, forcing myself to remain still even if moment by moment it becomes more and more difficult.

Her warm and welcoming pussy clench rhythmically around my dick making my toes curl in pleasure.

“Never been better, Rogers” she whispers as she digs her nails into my shoulders, ripping out a hiss of pleasure from me.

This is the pain I have longed for.

This is the pain I like.

Slowly I begin to move inside her, slipping easily through her wet folds.

Continuing to squeeze her ass hard, I push my hips forward, penetrating her with long, slow thrusts.

I bury my face in the hollow of her neck running its length with my tongue, going down to her collarbone and then going up and stopping behind her ear, kissing that small portion of tender skin right behind her lobe.

As I mercilessly sink into her body I can't think of anything but her.

Her sweet wildflower scent soothes the wounds of my soul.

Lily gasps moving her hips, meeting my thrusts.

Within a few minutes, I feel the orgasm begin to build up inside me.

I let my hand slip between her legs, right where our bodies are connected, and with my thumb I massage her clit with small rhythmic gestures.

God, how much I had missed touching her, kissing her, fucking her.

She wraps her arms around my neck throwing her head back.

“Oh Steve…fuck!Oh my God!Don't stop” she gasps shamelessly.

And so guided by her plea I push even faster, deeply thrust almost with ferocity.

"I'm close, my babygirl" I grunt with a grimace of pleasure to alter my features.

Lily screams my name one more time and soon after I feel her muscles milking my cock spasmodically and at that moment I lose control.

My testicles harden and my leg muscles tense with the effort until I pour all my pleasure into her womb.

Panting out of breath, I keep holding her in my arms, never leaving her body.

Lily rests her head on my shoulder, I feel her lips tickle the wet skin of my neck.

My legs are shaking as if they are made of jelly but at the moment I just have to grit my teeth because I have other things to think about.

I need to make sure that my sweet Lily is okay.

Passing an arm behind her back I ensure my grip on her body, with my other hand now free I finally close the jet of water and being careful not to slip I exit the shower.

With Lily in my arms, still naked and dripping, I leave the bathroom and without ever detaching ourselves from each other we lie down on the large bed with white scented sheets.

Lily lies beneath me, her beautiful legs spread wide to accommodate my size.

I rest my weight on my elbows and with my fingertips I brush her wet hair from her forehead.

"Are you ok?"

She nods without speaking but continuing to look at me with such intensity that my soul vibrates.

Who knows what she will be thinking about.

Will she regret it?

Did she do it because she really wanted it?

Did she just wants to have sex?

While I rack my brain with a thousand paranoia, her melodious voice brings me back to reality.

"Steve?"

"Tell me"

"I love you too.I never stopped” she whispers, her eyes is full of tears.

Smiling softly, I caress her face.

Now everything is perfect.

Now I am sure that everything will be fine.

Why am I sure?

Because Lily loves me and that gives me enough strength to be able to face everything to come with much more optimism.

"I love you too, my sweet Lily"

I kiss her again, sealing this new beginning.

Lily POV

Despite my eyes still closed, the light coming in from the windows annoys me.

I whimper turning on my stomach and grabbing the pillow I put it on my head.

Something bothers me, besides the sun I mean...

I feel irritated and confused but the real reason for all this is unknown, preventing me from understanding what triggers my nervousness.

"Good morning" murmurs a sensual voice at my side, voice followed by a kiss on my bare shoulder.

And still another in the center of the shoulder blades.

I smile and magically the bad mood disappears.

I push the pillow away turning my heads to the side.

My lids just flicker before they open fully.

In front of me are the most beautiful eyes of all creation.

Steve smiles at me, a slight hint of beard covering his practically perfect face.

"Good morning to you too" I murmur yawning.

Steve keeps smiling at me and I feel my heart melt.

He too lies on his stomach, his big muscular arms hidden under the pillow on which he rests his head.

The sunlight coming behind him gives him a celestial aura.

He literally looks like an angel who came down to earth.

Blond hair like ripe wheat and blue eyes like the summer sky.

I rub my face with one hand and yawn again.

"It's late?"

The man in front of me shakes his head.

"No.We still have one hour" he smiles, biting his lower lip.

He smiles slyly at something only he knows.

"Have you been awake long?"

Another sign of denial.

"A couple of minutes"

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

Steve shrugs.

"I wanted some time to observe you"

And despite what happened a few hours ago, his words have the power to embarrass me.

I roll onto my back and, pulling the blanket around me, I sit up trying to cover my still naked body.

Steve immediately notices my change of mood and with a sigh he sits up.

"What happens?"

This time I'm the one shrugging.

The minutes of silence go on.

Why am I embarrassed?

And above all, what is this feeling of discomfort I feel?

"Lily?"

I get out of bed quickly looking for something to wear.

Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Steve's shirt on top of the chair and grabbing it I wear it as quickly as possible and then walk away and take refuge in the bathroom.

I open the water and rinse my face, I'm sure the cold water will help me clear my mind.

What happened?

A few moments before waking up a weird feeling of anger and discomfort darkened my heart but as soon as I heard Steve's sweet voice I immediately felt good, immersed in a state of serenity.

I feel good.

But all lasted a few minutes, immediately after all the magic disappeared leaving me with a feeling of discomfort again.

"Hey"

Steve's voice wakes me from my thoughts.

I turn to that melodious sound and find him leaning on the threshold of the door.

His arms crossed in front of his muscle and damn sexy chest and looking down…thank God he had the decency to wear a pair of boxers.

"Everything is alright?"

His worried look studies me carefully.

“Yeah…yeah, it's alright” I lie, trying to smile convincingly.

I wipe my face as I feel Steve's gaze burn down my profile.

I quickly get out of the bathroom, carefully avoiding his gaze.

"Are you regretted?" he asks me point blank.

I stop at his question, turning to him.

He doesn't look angry, just tired.

Am I regretted?

Of course not, how could I ever be?

But there is still something that worries me and that I can't give a name to.

It is as if while I slept something, in my mind, had teased old wounds.

“Don't be ridiculous, Rogers”

“Then why are you cutting me out?I know you well and I know what you are trying to do"

I keep getting defensive.

"Really?" I ask, raising an eyebrow, "Do you really know me that well?"

Steve nods smiling.

"I know you enough to know that there is something troubling you"

An image goes through my head.

It looks like one of the old images that haunted my nightmares for years, with the only difference this time the woman in Steve's arms isn't Sharon Carter.

No, it's not her.

This time it's Peggy Carter.

Suddenly I remember the dream I had just before waking up.

I smile sadly.

"I want you to be honest with me, Steve"

He approaches me with slow, measured steps until he is just a few inches from my body.

"I always have been, you know" he replies as his hands seek mine.

I watch our fingers as they caress and intertwine.

"What happens?" he asks me again.

I sigh trying to find the strength.

I am perfectly aware of the fact that with what I am about to say there will be the risk that I will blow up our feeble and wavering relationship.

But I have to do it, it is an insecurity that I have been carrying with me for too many years now.

And I'm tired.So tired.

"Now we are aware that there is the possibility of moving through the time" I begin.

I feel my heart explode in my chest.

His answer to my question will be fundamental for our future.

“Have you ever thought about going back?From her I mean” I continue.

"Going back?"

“To Peggy.Do you ever think about her?Would you like to try to have that life that was taken from you?"

Steve watches me without saying a word.

His gaze slips away from mine and in that precise moment I feel my heart breaking.

I clear my throat.

"I understand" I whisper, letting go of his hands.

He immediately brings his gaze back to me.

“No, no Elisabeth.It's not what you think”

His tone is nervous.

He runs his hands through his hair and takes a deep breath.

"I'd be lying if I told you I didn't..."

I look away, turning to the window.

I can't stand and watch him while he confesses to me, indeed he confirms me, one of my greatest fears.

After all, I've always known this, I've always been ready for this moment.

So why does it hurt so fucking bad?

I was so focused on not drowning in my pain that I didn't even realize how close him was.

"But..." whispers his voice behind me making me jump.

Steve remains behind me as his hands rest on my arms, caressing them with a disarming sweetness.

“I thought that if we failed to bring everyone back I would have no reason to stay…but then I stopped to think and an awareness hit me with all the devastating power of it.I realized that even if I didn't get the children back, I would never be able to leave you.Even if you loved someone else I could never leave you.I'm not ready to live in a world where you don't exist.Just the idea takes my breath away" he whispers in my ear.

I feel a lump tighten my throat.

Every fiber of my being would like to believe him but inside me there is always that tiny part that fears that I will never be enough.

"I can't live without you, honey" Steve whispers as he kisses the top of my head.

Frightened, I turn around and find myself squeezed in his arms, his face sunk in the hollow of my neck.

"I can't live without you" he murmurs again.

I place my hands on his chest, pushing him just enough to get him away from me to be able to look him in the eye.

"Swear it"

I know I look like a spoiled stupid little girl but I need to know.

I need his confirmation.

"I swear"

His promise is so solemn that I can't help but believe him.

“I'm sorry” I murmur before a sob shakes my body.

"I'm sorry to be like this" I repeat sinking my face into his chest and letting myself go to a liberating cry.

Steve holds me tight against him.

“It's okay, you don't have to apologize.You never have to be ashamed of who you are” he whispers softly with his lips pressed against my hair, "I choose you, I will always choose you"

With my tears I let go of all my worries, my fears, the last five years.

Steve continues to console and pamper me, his sweet words help me regain some of my self-control.

I wipe my eyes using the sleeve of my shirt making it dirty.

"Sorry" I giggle pointing to the stain on my sleeve.

Steve joins me with a laugh.

“I love you, Lily.This is the only certainty I have"

His immense baby blue eyes shine with pure joy.

I raise myself on my tiptoes, gluing my lips to his.

His arms tighten around my waist while I slip mine around his neck hooking my hands to his hair.

The kiss immediately becomes deep.

Our tongues caress, chase each other, in a dance of the senses that leaves us both breathless.

Never leaving my body, Steve leads me to the big bed making me gently lie down on it.

From my position I observe his massive body, it is so powerful that it occupies my entire field of vision.

I smile at him and he leans towards me, first leaving me a light kiss on my lips and then going down my neck.

Immediately I dip my hands into his short hair and gently massage the nape of his neck.

Steve's lips meticulously scour every inch of my neck and then linger curiously and eagerly on the delicate skin between the breasts.

I feel his lips touch me with a delicate kiss while his hands, this time with unnerving slowness, unbutton the buttons of the shirt I am wearing one after the other.

Once he get to the last button, he lifts off my body just enough to help me take it off and within seconds I'm naked again in front of his fiery gaze.

But it's not like tonight in the shower, no...now there is calm in his gestures, attention.

Now he's not fucking me, he's loving me like he used to.

Taking all the time he needs while giving me all the pleasure he can in return.

He is loving me as he used to do all those years ago.

In the light of this awareness, my heart tightens in a grip of tenderness and the emotion immediately pours into my eyes.

"Are you crying?" he asks me while with one knee he makes space between my thighs.

I spread them out shamelessly, allowing him to settle down comfortably.

"I'm happy.I feel happy.And that scares me” I whisper.

Steve in response gives me a smile full of love.

"I am too, honey.I mean scared and happy.It's normal.But now I just want to focus on the present, on you” he murmurs and then lowers his head back to my chest gently taking a nipple between his lips.

I close my eyes, accepting with joy all the pleasure that comes with it.

My back arches as I feel his teeth clench the tender, receptive flesh of my nipple.

I surrender completely to his touch as he worships every corner of my body.

It is a mixture of teeth, tongue and lips.

I gasp with my mouth open, my throat parched with pleasure.

I open my eyes only for a moment, just in time to see Steve's head go down, where all my pleasure is concentrated right now.

He hasn't touched me yet but I already feel totally wet and ready for him.

But knowing him will not immediately give me what I crave.

"Steve" I whimper closing my eyes again and sinking my head into the soft pillow.

I lift my knees placing the soles of my feet on the bed.

“Not yet, my babygirl.Be patient” he murmurs with his lips against my inner thigh.

His short, bristly beard scratches my delicate skin deliciously painfully, abrading it as he passes.

He is marking me.

I should find it disgusting, sexist, patriarchal…and instead I find myself wanting it to.

I demand that he do it.

I want to belong to him again.

His tongue teases the skin behind the knee, leaving a trail of saliva that runs down to the ankle.

A trail that burns as if it were molten lava.

I move my hips, looking for any friction that will give me a minimum of relief.

"Don't move"

His hoarse voice scolds me as he devotes himself to my left thigh just like he did a few minutes ago with the other.

A faint moan disperses in the air starting from my parted lips.

Steve's guttural laugh reverberates on my skin causing the pulse between my legs to increase.

I dig my hands into the blankets beneath me, squeezing them tightly.

His lips now rest on my belly, his tongue goes to tease the navel making me arch my back again.

"Steve, please"

"Please, what?"

Even though my eyes are closed, I can say with certainty that there is the shadow of a smile full of malice on his lips.

“Please, do what you want with me”

“Something is still missing, my babygirl.Come on...I know you can do it"

Now I smile too.

I raise myself leaning on my elbows and staring him straight in the eye, I tell him what I'm sure he's waiting for impatiently.

"Please do what you want with me, daddy"

His expression changes abruptly and unceremoniously grabs my thighs placing them on his shoulders sinking his face between them.

An excited scream escapes my control as I collapse with my back on the bed.

I plunge my hands in his hair pressing his face against my pussy, slowly rubbing my hips against his mouth that experienced and hungry feast on my flesh.

His tongue stimulates the clit.

He licks, sucks, squeezes it between his teeth.

His hands rise along my belly and I leave his hair to go to weave my fingers to his.

He fucking me using only his tongue.

And he does it like a god.

The orgasm mounts inexorably inside me, taking me at the top to reach the highest peak and then...darkness.

At the exact moment that my body surrenders to this sweet torture is as if my brain go haywire making me forget even as breathe.

I collapse on the bed exhausted and shaken.

I open my eyes and watching Steve that with his fingertips collects the moisture that pours between my thighs and than bring to his lips, licking it in an absolutely sinful way.

I feel weak legs, as if they were made of jelly and when Steve is makes room between them I surrender submissively accepting it and although I still feel shaken by orgasm I'm waiting for this moment for a long time.

With only one slow push Steve enters my body, his dick slips nimbly filling me completely.

I wrap his hips with my legs and start to move and meeting his thrusts.

His hands sink into the pillow where lies my head, his muscular arms are crossing from large veins.

I close my eyes enjoying the wonderful sensations that only this man can make me try.

Steve grunts increasing with the pace of his thrusts.

With my hands I cling to his chest, sinking my nails in his flesh.

I open my eyes, enjoying the wonder in front of my eyes.

Steve has his eyes closed and lips slightly parted, his features are contorted with pleasure and a light sheen of sweat begins to wet his forehead.

While I am lost in the perfection of this face from the devastating beauty, Steve opens his eyes blinding me with his blue.

"Your eyes..." he pants while he keeps pumping inside me.

I know what he is seeing and full of shame I turn my head to the side denying my eye.

"Elisabeth, look at me" he commands and I, unable to resist, obey.

We look without saying anything.

Steve rests his weight on one elbow while with his free hand he grabs my knee and lifting it, opening more my legs, and pressed it against the mattress.

He starts to fuck me eagerly.

"Your eyes are beautiful.I want you to look at me when you cum, will you?" he asks.

Although his words sound more like an order.

I nod.

"Use your voice"

"Yes, daddy"

"Good girl" he pants smiling.

This is my Steve, the Dom, who continues to fuck me draining me of all my energy.

And when the second orgasm arrives, I ride the wave letting myself go to my instincts.

The temptation to close my eyes and fully enjoy the bursts of pleasure that cross my body is great but I hold back and keep my gaze fixed on him.

My muscles contract rhythmically around his fat cock.

Steve swears and grabbing me by the throat, squeezing his big fingers around it, he sinks in me a couple more times and then cum too.

Flooding all over my womb with his warm cum, I feel it dripping out of my body sliding obscenely down my trembling thighs.

Steve collapses on my body just the time of one breath, then rolls away from me inviting me to lean my head on his chest.

In this position I can perceive his heart beat at an inconceivable speed for a normal human being.

We both remain silent, waiting for our breaths to return to normal and our beats return to their rhythms.

"Can I ask you a question?" Steve asks while he plays with my hair as I lie lazily with my head on his chest.

I have always found his heartbeat comforting, much faster than any other normal person.

"Of course you can"

His hand touches my neck, slowly descending along the back where he stops resting right over the curve of my ass.

"Your eyes...what happened to you?"

I close my eyes sighing.

I was sure that sooner or later he would ask me.

Who knows if he still looks at me with the same eyes when he knows the truth.

"I..." I stammer nervously.

Words seem to be stuck.

I lift myself sitting down, Steve imitates me remaining silent and leaving me time to find the words.

“Five years ago too many things happened, too many negative things and all at the same time.Thanos, my dad, the kids, you...all this has changed me.Really changed, I mean”

I stop to take a breath.

I feel my heart literally explodes in the chest.

I lift my knees wrapping them with my arms.

The breath accelerates.

I feel panic coming.

"Lily, if you don't want to talk about that, that's okay.You don't own me any explanation" he whispers placing his big hand on my shoulder.

I turn my face in his direction and his beautiful eyes look at me full of sweetness.

Full of pain.

He feels bad for me.

I smile sweetly.

Steve shakes his head, smiling.

"You know, this is one of the reasons that made me fall in love with you" I reply, "Your empathy.You've always been good at reading people, Steve Rogers"

"I'm good at reading you"

I smile.

We remain staring into our eyes for a few long seconds.

"All that pain has awakened something in me, Steve.Something dormant but that is with me from the day I was born.The magic of chaos.A powerful magic, dangerous"

I stop suddenly ashamed.

The magic of chaos is destruction, a dark magic that allows me to alter reality and control various forms of mystical energy.

Many of my magical abilities I have always attributed to the Space Stone instead they came from the magic of the chaos that was in me.

Such as astral travel when I was unconscious.

And this is just the tip of the iceberg.

In these five years I have found to have amazing abilities but frightening.

Such as the elemental manipulation.

The manipulation of reality, of the emotions.

A shiver shakes me.

"It is difficult to control...but I'm trying"

Steve was silent.

I observe his profile while his gaze seems light years away from me.

What he must be thinking?

"You are dangerous?" he asks a minute later.

I feel the magic flowing through my veins, pinching my bowels.

I feel it bubbling under my skin desirous of being freed.

Am I dangerous?

"Yes"

"But you don't want to be"

His is not a question.

"Of course not.I'm training, I'm doing everything in my power to live with this power without doing any harm to anyone"

Steve wraps his arm around my shoulders, his lips are placed gently on top of my head.

"I should be with you.I should help you" he whispers, blame him, with his lips pressed on my hair.

Another shiver shakes me but this time of terror.

I move away far enough to look into his eyes.

"Oh my God, no.Thank goodness you weren't there.I...I almost killed Loki in the beginning.This power is...I don't know how to explain myself" I puffed nervously.

I remember the time when this power has showed itself.

I remember how it surprised us unprepared.

It was a simple workout and Loki was teaching me to manage my magical knowledge, but something went wrong...instead of a simple spell aimed at weakening him I began to absorb his energy.

Moment by moment I felt stronger, more powerful.

I saw, felt, Loki's life slipping away from him and feed me.

I could feel the life leave him to merge with mine.

I was witnessing the death of him and couldn't stop.

It was horrible.

Since that time, with the help of Wong and Layla, we were able to understand what was happening to me.

I sink my head into his chest as my hands cling tightly to it.

"It was hard.And it is also one of the reasons for which I was afraid at first" I admit without looking up towards the man who at this moment holds me in his arms.

"What do you mean?"

"By the time I realized that I'll could have again the kids I was afraid.And if it was too dangerous for them to stay with me?What if I unintentionally hurt them?Maybe I'm not a good mother anymore" I admit for the first time out loud.

Steve stiffens, I understand it from the tension of his muscles.

He moves away from me looking at me like I had two heads.

"Are you crazy, Elisabeth?"

I shrug.

Steve shakes his head.

With a quick movement he grabs me by the wrists, forcing me to sit astride him.

To divide our naked bodies only a thin cotton sheet.

"Listen to me.I never want to hear you say bullshit like that again, okay?You could never harm anyone.Especially our children.You've always been a great mother and you'll even be.You understood?"

Steve spits out the words through his teeth.

With anger.

I look down.

A moment later two fingers pressed under my chin making me look up.

Waiting for me I find a smile full of love.

"You're a wonderful mother.A wonderful woman.And I love you"

His hands, warm and gentle, enveloping my face.

A soft caress that warms my soul.

"Together we will overcome this adversity, Lily"

My eyes fill with tears.

He not only loves me, he loves even the monster that lives inside me.

I nod scared.

"We will face it all together" Steve blows on my lips before kissing me.

A slow, gentle, sweet kiss.

A kiss that has the value of a promise.

Timidly I wrap his neck with my arms, burying my face in his neck.

"Thanks" I whisper, my voice trembling.

His hands gently touching my back, with slight movements like feathers.

"Don't thank me.I will always be by your side, Lily"

"Forever?"

"This time, only death can keep me away from you, miss Strange"

"Six Stones, five teams, one chance" exclaims Steve while we arranged in a circle on the large metal platform that will serve as a launching pad for our time travel.

We wear a white and red suites, the silver A stylized on our chest reminds us of who we are and why we are doing this.

We are the Avengers, and nothing and nobody can stop us.

I let my gaze wander between the men and the women that today will risk their lives to restore the world, the whole universe, to their former glory.

Nat and Bruce smiles, they will go on Vormir for the Soul Stone.

Natasha beautiful and determined as always winks at me before turning back to Bruce.

Then there are Rhodey and Nebula, who will retrieve the Power Stone on Morag.

My gaze slips on the two Asgardian gods.

Nebula has insisted so much in being part of this mission, she is still convinced that she has something to be forgiven, she still feels guilty for what her father did to the universe.

Loki looks at me, his mischievous smile make me roll my eyes.

Obviously we got to talk a few minutes this morning, more than a chat was a real interrogatory at the end of which I shamelessly admitted what happened last night between me and Steve.

Confession which obviously came to the ears of everyone and especially impossible to deny after Steve in the middle of the kitchen kissed me in front of everyone.

I am more than sure that he has done it for Loki, his smile pleased was the proof.

Now the two brothers, so different but so similar, are talking to each other.

They will return back to Asgard and together they will try to bring back the Reality Stone.

Steve and Tony instead will recover the Mind Stone.

Tony knows where to find the Stone but he refused to tell us where.

As far as Steve has told me, he doesn't know anything about it either.

Tony set the space-time GPS of both of them without giving any explanation.

We have to trust him, we cannot do otherwise.

And finally Layla and I will recover the Space Stone and the Time Stone.

My gloved hands sweat profusely.

Mine is not fear for the mission, my fear comes from the people that I will meet to get the Stones.

My parents.

Layla grabs my hand clutching my fingers between hers.

"It'll be okay, Lil"

I nod, trying to smile even though I'm sure that what came out is a grimace of pain.

I sigh and bring back my attention on my beautiful captain.

His blond hair is perfectly combed, his face clean shaved.

When this is over we'll have to sit down for a long talk.

Though Steve Rogers is always damn beautiful and perfect I can't help but I prefer him more nomad, so I'll have to persuade him to regrow his hair and beard.

My gaze slips on his lips and then go down on his chest, his shoulders already muscular seem even more massive forced into this new suit.

My gaze falls on his hips, on his mormoree thighs.

"Hey, little Strange!Pay attention"

Tony brings me back to the Earth snapping his fingers in front of me.

I feel my face on fire.

Damnit Stark.

And stupid me for getting caught staring at Steve like a sex maniac.

Steve lasciviously looks at me as he traces my body with his lustful gaze letting me know that we're both on the same wavelength.

I give him a wink and blow a kiss towards him.

Natasha chuckles amused along with Layla.

"Okay, okay.We are all delighted that the golden couple have ironed out their differences but now we try to concentrate" says Tony trying to get our attention.

Steve smiles at me one last time and then brings his attention to each person present.

"Five years ago, we lost.All of us.We lost friends.We lost family.We lost a part of ourselves"

In our faces, in our eyes, in our heads, in our hearts we are etched their names.

Steve's eyes stopped on me.

And again we are on the same wavelength.

Sarah.

Sophia.

Natalia.

James.

Our children.

And then all the others, friends and family members.

Sam.

Bucky.

My beloved father.

"Today we have a chance to take it all back.You know your teams, you know your missions.Get the Stones.Get them back.One round-trip each.No mistakes...no do-overs.Most of us are going somewhere we know, that doesn't mean we should know what to expect.Be careful, look out for each other.This is the fight of our lives...and we're gonna win.Whatever it takes" concludes Steve.

"Whatever it takes" I repeat leaning forward with my closed fist.

"Whatever it takes" repeated Natasha approaching her fist with mine.

In a few moments our fists brush against each other in a promise.

The promise of making it and to come back with the Stones.

Clint, with instructions issued by Bruce, activates the control panel.

Him, with Lang and Rocket, will be here to control that everything is working.

The noise of the machines around me begins to hum in the air, pure adrenaline rush in my veins making me vibrate.

I am looking for Steve's gaze but I find him already staring at me.

"Back in one piece, Rogers"

"You can count on this"

"Be careful.I love you"

"I love you too, honey"

The time has come.

We'll going to change forever the future of the entire universe.

But above all we'll change our future.

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casspurrjoybell-19 · 1 year

Text

CLAIMED - Chapter 17

*Warning: Adult Content*

The loud bang of Beta Jaxson Ortiz’s back falling heavily against the closed door barely registered in his fuzzy brain as searching lips collided in a clash of heated sparks.

It was as if their bodies couldn't get close enough, as if their skin wanted nothing more but to meld together for all of eternity, leaving not even a hair's width of a gap between the spaces.

Head Pack Warrior Corey Cahill's hulkingly large body that pressed firmly over Jaxson was a welcome wall of protection against the rest of the world as he descended upon the Beta’s willing lips over and over.

The constant, dangerously low grumble in Corey’s chest and the swirl of metal in his irises left no doubt about the fact that Corey and his Alpha Wolf were overcome with their protective instincts given the... situation that had just transpired not even ten minutes prior.

The left side of Jaxson’s chest almost hurt with how hard his heart involuntarily squeezed at the memory.

Those harsh words hurled at him from Alpha Sephtis from the Feral Pack cut deep, deeper than Jaxson could ever bring himself to admit.

And as the Feral Wolf talked about taking Jaxson for himself, to live as one of his own, personal, Omega harems, the Crescent Moon Beta found himself frozen in the spot, throat tightening with both fear and frustration at the fact that the Alpha saw him that way.

He felt ashamed as he sat there, unable to respond as the Alpha Sephtis continued on.

Any good Beta would have defend themselves, any good Beta would have already challenged this stupid-ass of a man but not Jaxson.

He couldn't do anything other than sit there in shock as his brain whirled.

‘Maybe my father was right. Maybe I wasn't cut out to be a Beta.’

However, as Jaxson attempted to regain the shreds of his composure, his Mate’s soothing voice instead floated to the forefront of his brain, the distinct softness of it dominating the loud place where Jaxson’s father's harsh voice had been for the entirety of his life.

'Jax, look at me. You are always safe with me.'

Then, before he could blink, Corey made good on that promise.

His Mate was crouched dangerously on top of that table, every bit of the strong and capable Alpha that he was, on display as his large muscles flexed and sharp jaw ticked.

The sight of him had Jaxson’s thighs pressing together under the table and he couldn't seem to tear his eyes away from the man who did not hesitate to make it his duty to protect him, to defend his fragile honor.

‘Even though I had done absolutely nothing to deserve it.’

‘Because if you even so much as breathe in the direction of my mate again, I will take the greatest pleasure in making you disappear.'

Needless to say, the level of desire Jaxson felt for his mate in that moment was borderline embarrassing.

He had never felt a homosexual urge like that in his entire fucking life.

‘If I were an Omega, my backside would be sopping with slick at that moment as I contemplated how many pounds per square inch of pressure I would need to use to suck the meat right off of Corey’s enormous length.’

Corey's intense growl brought Jaxson back to the present as his calloused hand reached up to wrap around the Beta’s slender neck with the gentlest touch, thumb brushing lovingly against his Deep Mark, a physical reminder of the Bond between both of their souls.

"I need to Mark you again," Corey's deep voice reverberated as they finally detached their lips, although their chests continued heaving.

The rasp and slight strain of Corey’s voice indicated how close the Warrior’s Wolf, Dashiell was to taking over.

"I can already feel both myself and Dash falling into Rut if I do not."

Corey’s eyes closed, as his free hand went down to grab Jaxson, bringing the back of it to his lips as if he were the perfect gentleman.

"May I?"

The Beta didn't trust his voice to work through the thick haze of lust that overtook his brain, so he simply nodded in response, wasting no time in lifting his arms up to wrap around Corey’s neck and pulling that handsome face back down onto his waiting lips.

Corey's large hands immediately hooked underneath Jaxson’s thighs, the warmth of them seeping through the Beta’s skin all of the way down to the bone as the Warrior effortlessly lifted his Mate’s body up to sandwich it between his own and the bedroom door.

The man was seemingly past being gentle as his fingers dug into the fleshy meat of Jaxson’s thighs, the pressure of it driving the Beta’s Wolf, Luka fucking wild as he sensed the nearness of his own Mate.

"Tell me our safe word," Corey's incredibly deep voice vibrated through Jaxson as he spoke in a clipped manner from the crook of his Mate’s neck, where he had been busy sucking the shit out of the Beta’s sensitive mark.

It took a few deep breaths and a moan of pleasure from Corey mouthing at Jaxson’s neck for him to finally gather strength enough to make his vocal cords cooperate.

"Unicorn," Jaxson breathed out, or more like basically squeaked out the word they'd agreed on days prior.

Corey's canines dully prodded the tender point at which he was surely going to Mark when the time came.

A rogue shiver slid down Jaxson’s spine at the image that flashed across his psyche, of his large Mate pressed down on top of him, sweat dripping down his pulsating temple as he buried himself deep inside of both of his most sensitive places.

"Good boy."

Jaxson couldn't help the high-pitched whine that escaped him at Corey’s sweet praise, leaning forward to bury his own face in his lover’s broad shoulder as the Warrior lifted him from against the door and immediately began crossing the few steps across the hardwood to get to their waiting bed.

Jaxson’s back bounced against the soft, memory foam mattress as his Mate dropped him on top of it, wasting no time in pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it to the floor before moving on to undo the buckle of his black combat pants.

‘Not gonna lie, it was hard as hell for me to keep my tongue in my mouth at that moment.’

Jaxson watched as Corey’s bare muscles flexed with every movement, the hard, defined shape of each of them making the Beta shiver as he reminisced about how damn good they always felt when they moved against his skin, or underneath his nails as he raked them down his equally as defined back...

"Strip."

Jaxson wordlessly blinked at the order, the demanding sound of Corey’s tone a switch to whirl the increasingly more submissive part of his brain to life.

He wasted no time in complying, his arms crossing to grab the hem of hi9s shirt.

He wrestled the fabric over his head with impatient hands as he felt the heated gaze of his mate on his skin, the intensity of his Rut beginning to crackle through their Bond as Corey’s desire for Jaxson steadily mounted.

"Faster," Corey demanded as Jaxson threw his annoying-ass shirt somewhere into the abyss of blankets on the bed.

At this point the Beta’s Man was already completely naked, large shadow looming over his squirming form as he palmed his throbbing erection with a large hand, thumb and palm squeezing tightly over the girth of it in an effort to recreate the friction that the Alpha's Rut demanded that he find inside of his Mate.

Corey’s almond-shaped eyes grew dark and all-knowing as he drank in the sight of Jaxson’s body as if it were his last.

The Beta supposes his fingers fumbled with his pants much too long for Corey or Dashiell's liking, as next thing he knew, his Mate’s large hands were on top of his, shooing them away as he simply ripped the fabric between his fingers, tearing Jaxson’s jeans away from his body as if he were simply tearing a piece of paper out of a notebook.

Normally, Jaxson would likely have screamed bloody murder at the oaf for destroying his shit but since that fateful day in the woods, when the dynamic of their entire relationship shifted for the better, the only thing that he could think of is how hot Corey looked with that untamed look in his eye, the one that screamed how much he wanted his Mate, how much he wanted to dominate his Mate, body and soul.

"Agh..." Jaxson exclaimed as Corey's heavy body descended upon his, his eyes practically rolling back at the feeling of his lover’s thick member pressed against his lower thigh and his corded fingers wrapping around the Beta’s neck, much tighter this time as his heated forehead pressed against his own.

"Next time I tell you to go faster, you go faster. Do you understand me?" Corey's voice was somehow even deeper now as they both descended deeper into the clutches of their raw desire, the Beta’s toes curling at the sound of it mixed with the demanding words sent his way.

Jaxson nodded his head vigorously as he clutched Corey’s body to his, the desire to keep him close and please him sparking like electricity through his veins.

"Yes, sir..." Jaxson whispered.

The Beta’s heart was beating wildly at this point, to the point where he thought it might explode from the confines of his ribcage at any given second.

It was all so scary.

Scary to give up so much autonomy to Corey, to trust him with his body, scary to allow him to make demands of him when he'd been taught his entire life to only obey that of the Alpha he served.

But most of all, it was absolutely terrifying how much Jaxson loved it.

The idea of letting go, of giving someone else his burdens to take care of for even a short while, was equally as petrifying as it was liberating.

But now was the time to begin to face his fears, to show Corey he would try his best, show him that he was all in, to show him that he wanted him.

Because he did want him.

So damn bad that it almost hurt.

"Such a good boy for me, Jaxson."

Satisfied with Jaxson’s response, Corey's strong hand released his lover’s neck, instead sliding up to capture his jaw and lift it up to his liking in order to press a bruising kiss to his already abused lips, his need evident in the sheer force of it.

Jaxson would be remiss to say that he didn't immediately miss the pressure of the space between his thumb and forefinger as it pressed into his windpipe, flattening him into the bed underneath him.

"Umph..."

A yelp escaped him as Jaxson was suddenly flipped into his stomach by muscular arms as if he were nothing other than just a ragdoll that weighed absolutely nothing, the musky scent of Corey's Rut increasing by the second and ensnaring the Beta’s senses as well.

Jaxson’s hole tingled with cold pinpricks in response to his Mate's Rut Pheromones, his entire body responding with earnest as he wanted nothing more than to spread his legs for him, to accept the Head Warrior into the willing cavern of his body so that he could satisfy that raging urge to claim that the Beta knew he was currently experiencing.

Corey's warm hands were underneath Jaxson’s hips in less than a moment, yanking them up to present his, admittedly pretty damn plump, ass and desperately fluttering hole on a silver platter for him.

"I will never let anyone take you away from me. Not now, not ever."

SMACK

Jaxson’s body jerked against the sheets and he whined out in surprise as he felt Corey’s heavy palm descend on the sensitive flesh of his right ass cheek.

His cheek burned as his Mate subsequently rubbed at the same spot, dousing the flickering flames that were quickly rushing to the surface.

Jaxson’s arms stretched out above him and eyes rolled back at the overwhelming sensation as he desperately swayed his hips in front of his Warrior lovers in a similar manner that a cobra would to ensnare it’s trainer, in an attempt to entice him to do it again, to... ‘spank me again.’

However, after a long pause of silence and no movement from behind him, a frustrated lament sounded from his chest as Jaxson glanced over his shoulder with a frown.

Corey's eyes were utterly glazed over as he stared down at the twitching hole between Jaxson’s cheeks that he'd spread wide open with his giant palms.

Although his face remained in it’s impassively blank expression, the Beta could tell by the slightest crinkle of his eyes and the tiny gap between his lips that Corey was... surprised by something?

‘Oh fuck, I better not have left toilet paper stuck up there or something.’

"Is something wrong?"

Jaxson somehow managed to force out of his lust-paralyzed throat, reaching behind himself in an effort to touch his hole to investigate what had his lover in such a trance.

Before he could however, one of Corey's powerful hands snapped to grab Jaxson’s wrist, holding it steadily in place as he silently forbade his Mate from touching himself.

"No. It is mine."

The Head Warrior’s voice was absolute gravel at this point and Jaxson could tell that he was likely barely holding onto a thread as his Wolf, Dashiell fought his way forward.

Corey’s other hand slipped down between his Jaxson’s cheeks, a shiver cascading it’s way down the Beta’s arched spine as he felt the tip of his lover’s thick finger slide around the circumference of his tight rim before bringing the digit up close to his face.

His eyes widened the slightest bit and chest heaved up and down as he stared, unable to rip his dark gaze away from whatever it was that he saw.

"Your slick is all mine."

‘Wait. What? Slick? There was no way, I was a Beta for fuck's sake, Betas don't make slick. The only ones who made slick were Om...Oh My Goddess...’

"UNICORN..."

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rxvera · 1 year

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Our Midnight Moon Is Burning

Okay, first thing I've written in a long while. Thank you @gay-jewish-bucky for inspiring me!

This is pretty heavy and long so I'm putting it under a cut, warnings are in the tags <3

---

January 11th, 1932

"Buck..." Steve rasps. His voice is barely a whisper.

Bucky's ears perk up like a cat to a bell. He turns to meet Steve's eyes. "Yeah, Stevie?"

"Too...too hot...Buck..." Steve kicks at the ragged hospital cloth covering only his shins. He's too weak to get it to move, though.

Bucky personally found the medical air chilling. He's all lined in his warm Mackinaw. Steve's temperature must've risen since the nurse checked on him earlier that night.

"Alright, alright," Bucky slicks Steve's sweaty bangs back off his forehead. "You're doin' fine," He pulls the blanket off Steve's feet. "Lemme get your nurse, she knows how'ta help ya, bud."

"Please," Steve mumurs. He takes Bucky's wrist with an iron grasp. "I just...I don't want no more gels capsules."

"Stevie..." Bucky's torn. He's not even supposed to be here. It's a favor of the nurses for Ms. Sarah's sake that he take her place at Steve's side some nights. How horrible would it be if they found out he's not doing the right thing here?

"Just...somethin' cold please," Steve's eyes are pleading. Bucky's brown ones well up looking into that perfect, deep blue, which seems just the slightest bit sadder than he's seen it before.

"I..." Anxiety pounds in Bucky's chest. What even is the right choice? He doesn't know. "Steve..."

"Please," A tear rolls down Steve's cheek.

Bucky looks to the fire escape attached to the window. He's strong enough to slide the glass panel up and let Steve grab just a breath of the cold winter air. Thirty seconds can't hurt, right?

Bucky doesn't mean to let Steve fully out there, but those irises get the best of him. They sit on the metal grate of a floor until their asses ache from the wirey weaved rods. The midnight moon casts a glow over them that makes the feverish sweat on Steve's face glisten.

"I don't know if I can do this no more, Buck," Steve whispers as he leans his head against Bucky's shoulder. "I'm real weak now, I think it's got in my head."

"I'm sorry," Is all Bucky can muster. "I care about you like you're my whole world, Stevie," He feels a lump take a seat in his throat. "I want you to fight, but...I'm so sorry."

---

November 16th, 1943

Stevet pretends to wake up, just as he pretended to be sleeping in the first place.

Bucky's shaking violently. He's crying too, like a dying animal that'd be better off shot. Bucky's not an animal though, and however much he believes he's worth nothing...Steve needs nothing but him.

"Buck, hey," Steve firmly grabs his shoulder. He keeps his voice steady. It doesn't match the uncalm storm of fear going through his head. "Please, Buck, breathe, wake up."

He strokes Bucky’s stubbly cheeks, praying he’ll open his eyes and find himself back in their tent instead of stranded in that horrific asylum-esque prison he only just got out of.

“No, no, stop,” Bucky breathes, foamy saliva bubbling up at the corners of his mouth.

"I- Okay," Steve lifts his hands, even though he doubts the words are meant for him.

The thrashing only worsens, though, and Steve's forced to manhandle him again for both their safety. He feels sick and twisted doing it, though.

Steve redoubles his efforts to get Bucky awake. “Come on, Buck. Please?”

"No, don't, please," Bucky shrieks. The terror in his voice sends reverberations through Steve's body. "I can't...no, please, I'm sorry...no..."

Steve can't take it. "James," He yells. Bucky's entire body stiffens, as if rigor mortis has managed to take hold of him in a mere fraction of a second.

It couldn't have been long at all, but it feels like hours before Bucky relaxes and opens his eyes.

"Steve?" He rasps as sits up slowly. They're both shaking now. "I...what happened?"

"You were..." Steve bites his lip. "You were real scared, Buck," Steve examines every part of his body except his eyes. His hair is drenched in sweat. The bones in his arms are visible and pointed. His chest rises up and down rapidly with each breath.

"I don't..." Bucky shakes his head. "I don't feel alright at all."

"Okay, Buck," Steve sighs and pulls him to his feet with one hand while he pushes the tent flap open with the other.

He takes him about 30 feet away from their camp into an open patch in the woods. Bucky doubles over as soon as they stop walking. Steve pats him on the back gently.

Bucky gags, then coughs a few times. Only droplets of saliva hit the dirt. He has nothing to purge. Steve hasn't seen him eat all week.

Steve lets him retch fruitlessly a few more times before he whispers, "you're done, Buck, breathe."

"I...Steve...just..." He mumbles as Steve pushes him to sit on the ground. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Steve bends to a crouch next to him. "This is all fine, I mean it ain't, but you know, I don't mind."

"Steve," Bucky buries his face in his hands. Steve furrows his brow. "What happened...I..."

"Buck-"

"No, I just..." Bucky sniffles. Steve looks up at the night sky, unable to take the scene in front of him anymore. "I'm not really me no more."

The pressure of tears pushes into Steve's sinuses as he tries not to sob.

"It hurt so bad," Bucky continues. "What they did to me..." He shakes his head. "There ain't no coming back from it."

---

February 19th 2017

It's not a nightmare. It couldn't have been a nightmare if he never went to sleep.

It does burn like one, and that's what sends him stumbling as softly as he can outside at 2 in the morning. He's careful not to wake Steve.

He lays in the grass outside, staring at the stairs. He tries to pick out constellations, but nothing clicks in his head.

He kind of wants to kill himself, like he has for the past 70-some years. He won't. Steve would metaphorically kill him again if he did, or even tried.

He does want to be here and love Steve and hug Steve and kiss Steve and fuck Steve and scream at stupid fucking helpful Steve. He just doesn't want to do...this anymore. He hates this.

His gut cringes and he thinks about what he could do. He could go inside and slit his wrists. It's disturbing how appealing that sounds. He would have to be careful so Steve doesn't know, but that's a whole other challange...

Apparently he already hasn't been careful enough, because fucking Steve is laying down next to him. Fuck.

Bucky doesn't acknowledge him. Love and hurt force his heart to hammer like it's a pick in a coal mine. He almost feels sick to his stomach with stress.

They stay silent for awhile. Steve sniffs a few times. He's definitely been crying. Bucky feels guilty, but inexplicably equally angry. It doesn't make sense. Steve is nothing but good for him.

It's probably been 45 minutes without a word when Steve punctures the tension. "Buck..." He rasps. "I know...I know you're hurting real bad."

Bucky lets out a breath of humorless laughter. "Real fuckin' bad, Stevie."

"Yeah..." Steve sighs. "I know you hate me, but just...I love you and I can't lose you, Buck," His voice constricts in that heartbreaking way that means he's about to cry. "Please, I'm sorry, I just..."

"Stevie..." Bucky says slowly. A sob tearing at his own throat. "I don't hate you," He feels like he does, but feelings are all too wrong all the damn time. "I think I...I think I hate myself."

"I'm sorry, Buck, I know," Steve scooches a bit closer. "I just want to make this all better, and I...I don't think I'm doing too well."

"You're..." Bucky slides himself closer and drops his head on Steve's collar bone. "You're everything," He murmurs. "Don't stop."

#tw suicidal ideation #tw self harm thoughts #tw implied sa #(very vague nothing is explicitly mentioned and it's really up to interpretation)#tw nightmares #tw hospital mention #writing #steve rogers #marvel #bucky barnes #stucky #ish #mcu #hurt/comfort

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sw1mmingfoolz · 2 years

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[1:36] - bang chan

genre: absolutely tooth rotting fluff (this is so self indulgent it's unreal)

content warnings: none

requested? Y/N

wc: 709

a/n: i have narcolepsy, which means i have sleep attacks, and i wrote this after coming around from one because i would give a leg for someone to love me enough to care for me this way and i just know bang chan is That Bitch yknow? basically sleep attacks make your blood pressure drop suddenly (cuz your blood pressure drops when you sleep that's why you get cold n that yknow) so i get super shaky and my heart slows down and palpitates and i get dizzy and it's just all around not very pleasant. anyway enough rambling, sorry this is probably the least relateable drabble in the universe but it's what we call self indulgence 🤪 feedback is as always extremely appreciated and encouraged :)

Warm material touched your bare arms gently, evidently having just been removed from another's body. You weren't fully cognizant of its presence, however the softness and scent were consuming your senses, causing you to relax further into the sleep you were desperately fighting off. A dip in the sofa followed you being covered, a small whine wanting to escape your throat but lying dormant on your tongue when you realised your boyfriend had left the living room. Inwardly you were between dreams and reality, eyes flickering open every so often but never allowing you to fully pull yourself back to being awake, the plot of the film you'd chosen lost on you as you caught small glimpses and your brain filled the rest in with utter nonsense. It seemed he'd paused it when he got up.

The sofa dipped again, this time with a satisfying weight, a solid body close enough to radiate warmth over the right side of yours. He tried shaking your shoulder gently, eyes as affectionate as they always were when he looked at you. He fought back giggles as your eyes rolled, desperately trying to focus, vision hazy. The harsh, glaring light of the TV screen reflected softly in them, bouncing off the sharp planes of his face and forever filling you with a sense of awe - even when you were hardly conscious. His touches were light and encouraging, and eventually it felt as if something in your brain snapped, finally allowing you to open your eyes for good and depart the limbo between REM and wakefulness that left you feeling rattled every time you were unfortunate enough to visit. You looked at your shaky hands, knowing your face was just as pale, and looked up at Chan with a vulnerability he was eternally grateful you let him be privy to. He smiled knowingly and pulled you into his lap, large arms surrounding you easily, rubbing faint patterns on your back as you came around. His hoodie was still expansive over your upper half, sandwiched between you both, Versace Eros familiar and comforting. His mouth mumbled sweet nonsense into the top of your head as you slumped against his chest.

"I went to get you a Coke," he hummed, knowing you'd felt him leave, reaching for the can on the table next to the sofa as he spoke. The vibrations of his chest reverberated through your entire body, your heart rate steadying as he tipped your head up to look at him. He opened the can easily with the same single hand before holding it to your lips, seemingly insistent on feeding you it himself, observing intently to make sure sleep did not begin to consume you again. Your heart swelled at the simple gesture, letting him tilt the liquid into your mouth with blushing cheeks, knowing your hands were weak enough for you to risk dropping it all over yourself. He knew that too. He kissed you delicately after you swallowed, remnants of cola fizzing on his lips as he returned his hold to you and whispered random praise with hot breath on the shell of your ear. His heart felt as full as yours did, unable to fight back smiles whenever you were close. He felt so lucky you'd agreed to be his, and didn't think that feeling would ever stop.

"I can't believe you remembered," you murmured sleepily, pressing a gentle kiss to his jaw as you snuggled into his neck. He chuckled as his grip tightened, arms encircling your waist in silent protection, and returned the kiss on your temple.

"Of course I did, I'm always looking out for you, baby. Is your heart feeling okay?" You paused to feel it and nodded, thankful you'd gotten something to drink fast enough to stave off the brunt of the palpitations. Your blood pressure quickly rose as he bounced his knees to make your body move, however slightly. Another soft kiss, to his neck this time, which he mirrored in your hair. He was smiling against you so tenderly you felt you could explode.

"Thanks for caring so much, Chan,"

"You don't have to thank me, it's what I'm here for. It's part of loving you,"

"And you know I love you too."

#ficscafe #stray kids #skz #bang chan #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #skz imagines #skz scenarios #stray kids fluff #skz fluff #stray kids drabble #skz drabble #bang chan fluff #bang chan imagines #bang chan scenarios #bang chan drabble #skz timestamps #stray kids timestamps #bang chan timestamps

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hertzwritings · 2 years

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And they were roommates, chapter 1

A/N: This is a commissioned request from the amazing @thelastpyle, who had the most amazing idea ever and I have fallen truly in love with it – I’m a sucker for the roommate to lovers trope, and any AU with Henry Cavill makes me want to die (in the good way). I hope you guys will like it as much as I do, and I cannot thank @thelastpyle enough for both the commission but also her wonderful brain and amazing conversations.

If you want a personalized multichapter story, one-shot or drabble, you can buy me a coffee here!

I love y’all.

Remember, feedback feeds the soul and my requests and askbox are always open – there’s no limits, because I am me, and I have none!

MASTERLIST

SERIES MASTERLIST

ASK ME ANYTHING/REQUESTS

Pairing: Roommate!AU!Henry Cavill x Plus sized!female reader

Warnings: Language

Wordcount: 2.974

Chapter 1: Breakeven

You sighed and dropped the second paper of the day, still at a loss for what the hell you were going to do. It should be pretty easy to find a living-situation, but you were shit out of luck.

You weren’t too keen on the idea at any rate, but you couldn’t pay rent in the city by yourself; not without either putting yourself in debt for the rest of eternity, selling your soul to the devil and/or selling yourself. Or taking so many shifts at the hospital, you wouldn’t be able to study. You sighed and grabbed your phone, quickly calling your best friend, who answered at the third ring.

“What’s up, bitch?” “Do you think there’s a market for plus sized sugar babies?” You asked earnestly. She laughed. “With you, anything is possible. What’s going on?” “I literally am dying. Currently. Fast. I can’t find a fucking roommate and my lease is up in a week.” She sucked in a breath. “Oof, bad luck. Can you move back to your parents?” “Over my dead body.” You growled, running a hand over your forehead. “Well… You can move in here for a while?” You grunted. “And deal with your horny ass, banging up and down the walls with Sam? I don’t think so.” You could almost hear her roll her eyes. “Then it’s back to the paper. Or Craigslist.” You moaned at that idea – you had tried and had only been contacted by men, who wanted either feet-picture as rent or favors as rent. “Yeah, not going down that rabbit-hole again.” You said. “I think I’ll try to just kill myself first, that’s probably the best option.” “Let me know what to delete on your computer and which dress you want to be buried in.” Anna giggled and you heard Sam’s voice in the background. “I’ll leave you to it, you seem to have your hands full.” You grinned into the phone and she gave you an airy goodbye, and hung up.

You glared at the paper in front of you, almost as if it had hurt you – which, in fact, it had, the papercut on your middle finger a clear piece of evidence – and sighed, folding it up and was about to throw it into the bin with as much force as you could, when you spotted a small, little ad, that had been easily overlooked.

Looking for a roommate for a 6 months lease. Will be living with a orderly, clean man, non-smoker and without weird animals. Only temporary arrangement. Contact…

You quickly typed the number and called it – it was the last chance you had of finding a somewhat permanent arrangement that didn’t involve a grave-digger.

The phone was answered after the first ring.

“Henry speaking.” The voice was soft, deep baritone and reverberated through your entire body. “Uh, hi, I saw your ad for a roommate?” You sounded a little shaken. “Oh! Yes, hello.” You hesitated for a minute. “Is it still open? I mean, the room… Position. Roommate-job application?” He laughed a little at that, making you exhale a shaky breath. “It is. Although I would prefer a roommate with a name.” You could punch yourself. How did you forget to introduce yourself? “Oh lord, I’m a mess. Sorry, I’m Y/N, mess extraordinaire.” “Well, hello, Mss. Extraordinaire. Would you be willing to stop by tomorrow to see the place? You’re the first caller.” “Not many people use the paper anymore, it would seem.” You said, smiling a little. “Sure, I’d love to. You’ve got an address?” He told you the address and the time and you hung up after a quick goodbye.

It was hopefully your luck to find him. And hopefully he would want actual rent.

-----------------

You smoothed down your shirt, trying to compose yourself, despite the lack of sleep; it had been a long shift with an unusual amount of blood and puke, so you had barely gotten three hours of sleep – hopefully it would be enough to seem somewhat composed around him. You rang the doorbell and crossed your fingers for a normal man to open the door. It opened and revealed a very handsome man, who’s face you knew very well. “You’re Henry Cavill.” You stuttered instead of a greeting. “I am. And you’re Y/N Extraordinaire?” You grinned at him and shook his outstretched hand. “Y/L/N will work just fine.” He smiled brightly and gestured for you to step inside. “Welcome!” You looked around at the apartment – it was definitely bigger than you’d been used to, soft grey and white tones in everything. He led you through the apartment, showing you the kitchen (which was ginormous), the living room (which had a giant tv, plush and inviting couches and every single console you could dream of having), his home office (which was largely dominated by a computer and Warhammer figures) before leading you to an empty room, nothing but free space for whatever you wanted. A huge window overlooked the city and you knew that the morning light would be amazing in here. He showed you the bathroom that belonged to it, before going back to the living room. “Want anything to drink?” He asked with a smile. He was handsome, even more than pictures led on, his fangs – that had you squirming in pictures – catching on his bottom lip ever so often, his eyes gleaming; you nodded and pulled your thoughts away from how handsome your maybe-roomie was. “Sure, thanks.” “Water, tea, coffee, beer…? I think I might have a mountain Dew stuck somewhere in the back of the fridge.” “Maybe a little early for beer, but I’m dying for a coffee.” He nodded and quickly made a cup. “Take anything in it?” YOU flushed, your mind going straight to something extremelt inappropriate and you cleared your throat, willing yourself to seem just sort of put together. “Uh, if you have milk, that would be great.”

He handed you the cup of coffee and you quickly took a large gulp, hoping it would pep you up. “So… I have a question.” You said, clutching the cup in your hands. “Sure.” “Where’s Kal?” you asked, hoping you weren’t coming across as weird or stalker-y by knowing the name. He smiled widely. “Doggy day-care. I thought it would be best, so we wweren’t interrupted by him ‘.” You hummed. “Alright. Another question.” “You’re eager.” He grinned. “Kidding, shoot away.” You set your coffee on the table and looked at him, sitting across from you in the other couch – he looked so relaxed and down to earth, you had a hard time understanding why you had been nervous in the first place. “Why do you need a roommate? I mean, you’re a moviestar, I have a hard time thinking it’s a money-problem.” He set his own cup down and smiled, running a hand through his hair. It looked soft. “Well, I theoretically don’t really need a roommate. It’s more a want, at this point.” He glanced at you and his tongue darted out, wetting his bottom lip. “Uhm, as you know, it’s a limited time. I’m shooting a movie here, and it just made more sense to get an apartment instead of staying at a hotel.” You nodded. “But I hate leaving Kal at a daycare, and I must admit, I like having noise around me, so.. A roommate seemed like a smart option.” “Only if said roommate likes dogs.” You replied with a sly smile. “You don’t?” He asked. “Oh, me? Love them. But I’m betting there’s a line of people ready for this place. It’s right in the city, your place is going to be a big commodity in the roommate-community.” You said with a shrug. “I haven’t had anyone else over. I haven’t really thought about it.” “Oh?” He smiled widely. “I enjoyed the banter on the phone, so I wanted to see what kind of a person, you were.” You bit your lip, feeling heat on your cheeks. Goddamnit. “Can I ask you something?” He said after a moment, leaning back in the couch. “Sure. Open book.” You answered happily, your heart pounding away – it seemed like there was a chance you might actually have a place to live that wasn’t three feet under. “Why do you need a roommate?” he asked slowly. Here goes nothing. “Well… Uhm, my lease for my current place, which is way overpriced, I might add, is going up by the end of the week and I honestly can’t afford a place on my own as long as I’m studying.” He nodded once. “What are you studying?” You smiled. “I’m trying to get my medical degree. I work part time on rotation at the hospital, trying to get a feel of the different departments to figure out where I want to do my residency.” He whistled at that. “Holy hell, you’re amazing. Any place in particular, you’re fond of yet?” “Yeah, so far the E.R has been a favorite. I like the rush there, if that makes sense.” “Sure.” You grinned at him. “I have a few shifts a month to keep up with the rent, but I can’t really take more without losing out on study-time, so…” You trailed off. “Anyway, that’s why I’m looking for a roommate.” “Even if it’s just for 6 months?” You shrugged. “Yeah. I mean, six months get me into my residency and I start making enough for me to find my own place, I hope.” You shot him a quick smile. “Besides, if I get a chance to hang out with a cute dog and be somewhat familiar with those…” You pointed to the consoles. “I’m more than happy with six months.” He grinned. “Gamer?” “Ha, I wish. No, haven’t really had the time. Played a little when I was younger, but… I’d love to get reacquainted with it.” “Deal.” He smiled and pulled a stack of papers out from the table. “Well, Y/N… I think I might have made my choice, if you’re still interested.” You gawked at him. This man, this famous, handsome man, wanted you for a roommate. It hadn’t really occurred to you that it might actually be a thing, simply because you were you; luck hadn’t really been on your side lately. “Oh, really?” You asked timidly. He nodded. “Want to go over the lease?” You smiled. “Bring it on.”

------------------

Four days later, you closed the final box and taped it shut, looking around at your small apartment, now stacked with boxes and bags. You wiped sweat off your brow and felt extraordinarily hot; the eternal struggle of being a bigger girl. Sweat would pour like rain from your face if you felt just a little hot – and piling boxes, filling them and emptying cupboards were a workout. You didn’t understand how you had managed to cram so many things into so little space, much less how you had managed to get it all packed up. You grunted and began lifting the boxes into the rented trailer, before doing your best with your furniture – you might be a stubborn woman, but you could quickly see, that there was no way you’d get the couch and/or the bed out of your apartment without help. You rang Anna and told her of your predicament, but she wasn’t even in the area, having gone up to visit family. “Call your roomie, I’m sure those bulging pectorals could carry a couch.” “Anna!” “What, am I wrong? Are you going to look at me and tell me that i´m wrong?” She challenged. “I’m not even looking at you, you dipshit.” “The I guess you can’t tell me I’m wrong. Just call him, I’m sure he’s happy to be the prince for a damsel in distress.” “I’m not a damsel.” “But you’re in distress.” “Fuck you.” You heard her laugh. “Love you too, babe.”

You sighed and rubbed your forehead; you didn’t have money for movers to help and you didn’t have anyone else to call, so either you could try again and most likely dislocate your knee and shoulder, maybe even break a few toes when you inevitably dropped the couch on your foot, or you’d suck it up and call him. He was your roommate after all. If that counted as an excuse. You picked the phone up and a little part of you prayed that he wouldn’t answer; you hated being depending on other people, and the thought of him seeing you sweat and flushed because of a few pesky boxes, made you squirm. “Hi, Y/N?” His voice rang out through the phone and you swallowed thickly. “HI, Henry. Uh…” You trailed off, looking at your stuff. Maybe it would be worth the dislocated shoulder. “You okay?” He asked, concern clear in his voice. You had barely known the man for four days, much less talked that much to him after agreeing to move in, but he apparently already worried about you. “Uh, I’m in a pickle.” You said, sighing. “Oh?” “Well, I thought I had the whole moving-thing totally under control, but despite how many obvious muscles I have, I cannot for the life of me move my heavier furniture.” You said, mentally punching yourself with a sledgehammer for even trying this. He probably had better things to do. “Send me your address, I’ll be there in twenty.”

Twenty minutes later on the dot, a car pulled up and Henry got out – he was wearing a pair of loose shorts and a t-shirt, that seemed a number too small, if you were judging on the way his arms bulged through the sleeves. He jogged to you and grinned. “Muscle-man here and ready.” You smiled back. Despite your previous ideas of who and how he was, you were really happy he had shown up. “Thank you so much. I probably could do it myself, but not without dislocating a part of me.” You said, rubbing your neck. “No problem. That’s what roommates are for, right?” He said with a smile. “Now, show me the bastard of heavy furniture.”

Now even thirty minutes later, all of your stuff was neatly stacked in the trailer, and you had been surprised at how easy conversation flowed between the two fo you; he seemed gentle and down to earth, and from the way the chatter went on, it felt as though you had been friends for a long time. It had surprised you; not the fact that he was a person and nice, but the fact that he willingly held a conversation and seemed genuinely interested in what you had to say. You worried that he would sneer at you and your sweaty face – it wouldn’t be the first time someone had – but he had not said a thing, just wiped sweat of his own brow and told you that the apartment was way too hot. “I think that’s the last of it.” You said, looking at the boxes and furniture. Why you had decided to bring your couch, you didn’t know, but there was something sentimental about the first piece of furniture you had bought for yourself. “Thank you so much for your help, Henry.” You said earnestly. “No issue. I have to use these some way, or they’ll wilt.” He said, pointing to his arm. You laughed. “I’m pretty sure your muscles will stay muscle-y until the next century.” You shot back. Banter. Banter was good. “You know how to drive a trailer?” he asked, brows furrowed. “Uh… No? First time for everything, right?” “In the city? You have a death-wish, darling.” He said, pulling his phone out. The nickname a

wasn’t lost on you. “Hang on for just a minute.” He stepped away, talking fast into the phone, while you looked at his back with brows furrowed. “Alright, you can ride with me. I have a company coming to move your car and the things.” “Oh, you didn’t have to do that.” You blushed. “I can’t really afford…” “Y/N, I’m not letting you drive with that trailer, alone, for the first time, in the city.” He said sternly. “I’d like to avoid getting a new roommate before getting to know the first one.” You sighed. “I… I’ll pay you back.” You said lamely. He shook his head. “There’s really no need. Get in, let’s go home.” You nodded, still flush with embarrassment; it felt a little – no, a lot – wrong to have him pay for something, that was entirely your problem. “Just leave your car-keys on the front tire.” He said and you followed his orders, sighing a little. Damn it, you were already indebted to him, and you hadn’t even known him for a week. “Don’t overthink it. Friends help friends, right? Consider it early payment for watching Kal when I’m on set.” He said, smiling as he opened the car door for you. “I just… Uh…” You didn’t know what to say. “Thank you.”

“Anytime.” The car roared to life.

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