#the beatrice letters

[gingernutsenthusiast]

right person, wrong time (variations on heartbreak)

@leemartenspoetry on tumblr

vita sackville-west & fegan’s 1924 café in dublin

everything everywhere all at once (2022)

@heavensghost on tumblr

i had to get out by indigo de souza

‘calling a wolf a wolf' by kaveh akbar

river by joni mitchell

‘english song’ in a little larger than the entire universe: selected poems by fernando pessoa

slumber by ron hicks

fish in exile by vi khi nao

penitent magdalene by antonio ciseri

@ojibwa on tumblr

this is what the drugs are for by gracie abrams & the awakening by angelo morbelli

as good as it gets by fizz

lonely this christmas by mud & picture of the christmas tree at trinity college dublin, taken by me in december of 2022

this is what the drugs are for by gracie abrams & picture by andrew collins via globalnews.ca

@inanotherunivrs on tumblr & a polaroid of me taken by my ex-boyfriend

‘in a dream you saw a way to survive’ by clementine von radics & a picture of my ex-boyfriend's window, taken by me

bluets by maggie nelson & the poolbeg generating station, dublin

‘unrequited’ by sasha m george & inheritance by matthew w. cornell

[unknown]

@ faraway on instagram & lavender sprigs farm cut by linda jacobus

the museum of heartbreak by meg leder

[unknown]

‘seaside improvisation’ by richard siken

@ dracarysgang on twitter

@-love-letters-i-never-sent

@fromdarzaitoleeza on tumblr

explosions by ellie goulding

‘i had a dream about you’ by richard siken

the beatrice letters by lemony snicket

la la land (2016)

‘catalog of unabashed gratitude’ by ross gay

@stuckinapril on tumblr

@deathlywounded on tumblr

some are always hungry by jihyun yun

‘speaking practice’ by franny choi

 a self-portrait in letters by anna sexton & a picture of my ex-boyfriend in a lake in Orfű, Hungary

@sunsbleeding on tumblr

‘there is no absolution for the fallen, only the dying’ by p.d

[bnmxfld]

But I must admit I miss you terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby.

Lemony Snicket / The Beatrice Letters

[ecoamerica]

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

[jumbleddufus]

I swear it's always "I love you so much!" but never

"I will love you with no regard to the actions of our enemies or the jealousies of actors. I will love you with no regard to the outrage of certain parents or the boredom of certain friends. I will love you no matter what is served in the world's cafeterias or what game is played at each and every recess. I will love you no matter how many fire drills we are all forced to endure, and no matter what is drawn upon the blackboard in a blurring, boring chalk. I will love you no matter how many mistakes I make when trying to divide fractions, and no matter how difficult is it to memorize the periodic table. I will love you no matter what your locker combination was, or how you decide to spend your time during study hall. I will love you no matter how your soccer team performed in the tournament or how many stains I received on my cheerleading uniform.

I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you next Tuesday. I will love you if you cut your hair and I will love you if you cut the hair of others. I will love you if abandon your baticeering and I will love you if you retire from the theatre to take up some other, less dangerous occupation. I will love you if you drop your raincoat on the floor instead of hanging it up and I will love you if you betray your father. I will love you even if you announce that the poetry of Edgar Guest is the best in the world and even if you announce that the work of Zilpha Keatley Snyder is unbearably tedious. I will love you if you abandon the theremin and take up the harmonica and I will love you if you donate your marmosets to the zoo and your tree frogs to M. I will love you as the starfish loves a coral reef and as kudzu loves trees, even if the oceans turn to sawdust and the trees fall in the forest without anyone around to hear them. I will love you as the pesto loves the fettuccini and and as the horseradish loves the miyagi, as the tempura loves the the ikura and the pepperoni loves the pizza. I will love you as the manatee loves the head of lettuce and as the dark spot loves the leopard, as the leech loves the ankle of a wader and as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you as the doctor loves his sickest patient and a lake loves its thirstiest swimmer.

I will love you as the beard loves the chin, and the crumbs love the beard, and the damp napkin loves the crumbs, and the precious document loves the dampness of the napkin, and the squinting eye of the reader loves the smudged print of the document, and the tears of sadness love the squinting eye as it misreads what is written.

I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat, and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm wale loves the flavor of naval uniforms.

I will love you as a child loves to overhear the conversations of their parents, and the parents love the sound of their own arguing voices, and as the pen loves to write down the words these voices utter in a notebook for safe keeping.

I will love you as a shingle loves falling off a house on a windy day and striking a grumpy person across the chin, and as an oven loves malfunctioning in the middle of roasting a turkey. I will love you as an airplane loves to fall from a clear blue sky and as an escalator loves to entangle expensive scarves in its mechanism. I will love you as a wet paper towel loves to be crumpled into a ball and thrown at a bathroom ceiling and an eraser loves to leave dust in the hairdos of the people who talk too much. I will love you as a cufflink loves to drop from its shirt and explore the party for itself and as a pair of white gloves loves to slip delicately into the punchbowl. I will love you as a taxi loves the muddy splash of a puddle and as a library loves the patient tick of a clock. I will love you as a thief loves a gallery, and as a crow loves murder, as a cloud loves bats and as a range loves braes. I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence, and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong. I will love you as a battlefield loves young men and as peppermints love your allergies, and I will love you as the banana peel loves the shoe of a man who was just struck by a falling shingle off a house.

I will love you as a volunteer fire department loves rushing into burning buildings and as burning buildings love to chase them back out, and as a parachute loves to leave a blimp, and as a blimp loves to chase after it.

I will love you as a dagger loves a certain person's back, and as a certain person loves to wear dagger proof tunics, and as a dagger proof tunic loves to go to a certain dry cleaning facility, and how a certain employee of a dry cleaning facility loves to stay up late with a pair binoculars, watching a dagger factory for hours in the hopes of catching a burglar, and as a burglar loves sneaking up behind people with binoculars, suddenly realizing that she has left her dagger at home.

I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, and as a secret loves to make a person gasp, and as a gasping person loves a glass of brandy to calm their nerves, and as a glass of brandy loves to shatter on the floor, and as a noise of a glass shattering loves to make someone else gasp, and as someone else gasping loves a nearby desk to lean against, even if leaning against it presses a lever that loves to open a drawer and reveal a secret compartment. I will love you until all such compartments are discovered and opened, and until all the secrets have gone gasping out into the world.

I will love you until all the codes and hearts have been broken and until every anagram and egg has been unscrambled. I will love you until every fire is extinguished and until every home is rebuilt from the handsomest and most susceptible of woods, and until every criminal is handcuffed by the laziest policeman. I will love you until M. hates snakes and J. hates grammar, and I will love you until C. realizes that S. is not worthy of his love and N. realizes he is not worthy of V. I will love you until the bird hates the nest and the worm hates the apple, and until the apple hates the tree and the tree hates the nest, although honestly, I cannot imagine that last occurrence no matter how hard I try.

I will love you as we grow older, which has just happened, and has happened again, and happened several days ago, continuously, and then several years before that, and will continue to happen as the spinning hands of every clock and the flipping pages of every calendar mark the passage of time, except for the clocks that people have forgotten to wind and the calendars that people have forgotten to place in a highly visible area. I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where once we were so close that we could slip the curved straw, and that long, slender spoon, between our lips and fingers respectively. I will love you as the chances of us running into each other slip from slim to zero, and until your face is fogged by a distant memory, and your memory faced by distant fog, and your fog memorized by a distant face, and your distance distanced by the memorized memory of a foggy fog. I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, no matter where you avoid and who you don't see, and no matter who sees you avoiding where you go. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this, and no matter how I am discovered after what happens to me, happens to you as I am discovering this. I will love you if you don't marry me. I will love you if you marry someone else—your co-star perhaps, or Y., or even Q. or anyone Z. through A., even R. although sadly I think it will be quite some time before two woman can be allowed to marry—and I will love you if you have a child, and I will love you if you have two children, or three children, or even more, although I personally think three is plenty, and I will love you if you never marry at all and never have children, and spend your years wishing you had married me after all, and I must say that on late, cold nights I prefer this scenario out of all the scenarios I have mentioned.

That Beatrice, is how I will love you even as the world goes on its wicked way. Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope."

[quotespile]

I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, and as a secret loves to make a person gasp, and as a gasping person loves a glass of brandy to calm their nerves, and as a glass of brandy loves to shatter on the floor, and as the noise of glass shattering loves to make someone else gasp, and as someone else gasping loves a nearby desk to lean against, even if leaning against it presses a lever that loves to open a drawer and reveal a secret compartment. I will love you until all such compartments are discovered and opened, and until all the secrets have gone gasping into the world. I will love you until all the codes and hearts have been broken and until every anagram and egg has been unscrambled.

Lemony Snicket, The Beatrice Letters

[unfortunatetheorist]

Is Lemony's Kind Editor in the Netflix series?

Throughout the Netflix series, Lemony has used one of his infamous literary devices which I did not notice until rewatching it for the billionth time, when I was working on The Complete Works of Contradictory Logic in ASOUE. More on that to come.

Lemony uses a rather basic device which, I believe, can actually have an ENTIRELY radical new view on the show: Lemony speaks to the camera in the second person.

This just means he uses the pronouns 'you' and 'your', etc, when talking directly to camera.

e.g. TMM: "You could pretend the Duchess of Winnipeg had arrived, and had come to throw the Baudelaires a pony party at her chateau."

However, the 'you' could refer to Lemony's Unnamed Kind Editor. There are some points which back this up:

The Kind Editor is someone who does not know the story of the Baudelaires, they only know Lemony. This is why Lemony is the one to tell them the story of ASOUE.

The Kind Editor is NOT a member of V.F.D. This is why Lemony has to explain [either himself or via other characters] different V.F.D-related things that a member would've already known.

This logic can lead to the following:

Lemony is talking to his Kind Editor, who is filming VIDEO evidence to be used in court when Lemony clears his name and the names of the Baudelaires.

This means that the characters do not physically appear in ASOUE, but rather Lemony just imagines them saying the same words before actually saying them himself. This carries on from the idea (@snicketstrange) that Lemony used the Baudelaires' notes from An Incomplete History (series) or A Series of Unfortunate Events (book canon).

In TCC, the Baudelaires discover the SAME THING filmed by the SAME PERSON - but for ATWQ. Hence the reference to 'Stain'd-by-the-Sea'...

So what's the point?

THEORY: Lemony is using typewritten and video evidence, as filmed by his Kind Editor, in order to clear the names of all 4 people; the Baudelaires and himself.

But who is this mysterious Kind Editor? Many have suggested it to be Moxie Mallahan, as she was only friends with Lemony and no-one else from V.F.D.

However, given the circumstances described, I now present an alternative solution: Beatrice Baudelaire II.

In TBL, Beatrice II is 10 years old, capable of handling a camera. It provides an uncle-niece bonding opportunity for Lemony, and Beatrice gets to know the story of her adoptive parents (from her biological uncle).

Lemony is Beatrice's only hope of finding the Baudelaires, and Beatrice is Lemony's only hope of clearing the Baudelaires' names, as Lemony knows 100% that Beatrice is not an enemy or a spy of any kind.

¬ Th3r3534rch1ngr4ph, Unfortunate Theorist/Snicketologist

[ladysansalannister]

persephone had it right

“a burning hill,” mitski/“the beatrice letters,” lemony snicket/“cigarettes & saints,” the wonder years/“the beatrice letters,” lemony snicket/“samson,” regina spektor/“the beatrice letters,” lemony snicket/“letters to doc,” cathy linh che

[sunsetquotes]

I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday.

Lemony Snicket; The Beatrice Letters

[lelif]

on love

C.T. Salazar, Headless John The Baptist Hitchhiking/Taylor Swift, peace/David Rodríguez Tovar, The thrill, the fear, the hope /Taylor Swift, Enchanted/The Lord of The Rings: The Fellowship of The Ring/Lemony Snicket, The Beatrice Letters/Sarah Ruhl, Eurydice

[itsmegallene]

“I will love you

as misfortune loves orphans,

as fire loves innocence,

and as justice loves to sit and

watch while everything goes wrong.”

Lemony Snicket, The Beatrice Letters

[garfrigerator]

will never get over how the most heart breaking, gut wrenching, toe curling, romantic love letter is in the kids section

[buglover77]

Do you ever think about how Lemony and Bea II are essentially the sole survivors of the entirety of the series. Do you ever think about how Lemony is ultimately the one who haunts the narrative, not Beatrice. Beatrice was dead from the beginning…but so was everyone else. It’s Lemony who is stuck on the other side. It’s Lemony who is a ghost in this world…and other than Bea…completely alone.

[joytri]

I will love you as a thief loves a gallery and as a crow loves a murder, as a cloud loves bats and as a range loves braes. I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong. I will love you as a battlefield loves young men and as peppermints love your allergies, and I will love you as the banana peel loves the shoe of a man who was just struck by a shingle falling off a house. I will love you as a volunteer fire department loves rushing into burning buildings and as burning buildings love to chase them back out, and as a parachute loves to leave a blimp and as a blimp operator loves to chase after it.

Lemony Snicket, The Beatrice Letters

[eat-men-like-air]

I will love you as a thief loves a gallery, and as a crow loves murder, I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence, and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong. I will love you if I never see you again and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love until every fire is extinguished and every home is rebuilt.

RIP Lemony snicket, you would've loved writer in the dark by Lorde

[emmettverhoogen]

book esmé already knew that the hotel denouement would have to be burned down (they went there for that in the first place); netflix esmé didn't know anything about burning down the last safe place, nor did she hesitate to believe olaf's words

book esmé was blindfolded in the second floor; netflix esmé was in the sixth, not blindfolded

book esmé could either go down the stairs or jump out of the windows; netflix esmé could've found out about the fire midway and gone down to the ground floor instead of the laundry room

in short, she is alive (the beatrice letters is proof enough) and the fact that justice strauss managed to escape death (netflix!canon bc in the books she's definitely dead) by going down the roof to stay outside the hotel makes it possible for literally everyone who was inside the hotel to have survived

[waitinqroom]

rune lazuli / bones and all dir. luca guadagnino / litany in which certain things are crossed out richard siken / the beatrice letters lemony snicket

[thermodynamic-comedian]

the snicketverse is a literary tragedy in itself by just existing, because it's such a complex, three-dimensional story that hides even more stories within it, and yet we're cursed to only ever be able to witness it from the perspective of lemony snicket. and we know for a fact that bitch isn't reliable in the least. like. he just straight up lies sometimes. like that scene from poison for breakfast where he told the reader about a conversation he had, only to reveal that he made it all the fuck up.

it's like looking through a filtered telescope; you know there's something blocking your full view, you're trapped in one specific perspective despite being made painfully aware that it'll never be the full truth.

idk something something the inherent tragedy of a biased and unreliable narrator, etc etc.