#the best thing about being in your thirties is you have zero tolerance for bullshit

[breitzbachbea]

For the shipping ask, 10 and 11 please ^-^

Thank you for the ask!

Shipping Asks

10. Do characters have to have canon interactions for you to ship them?

Hm, well, it doesn't hurt, but to be honest, no. Best example - when we read "Emilia Galotti" by Lessing in school, I really liked both Emilia & Countess Orsina a lot. I thought the "best" ending for the play would've been Emilia & Orsina becoming a couple while the Prince Hettore and Marchese Marinelli pay for their bullshit. Emilia & Orsina have zero interaction. And yet, I wrote fanfiction for the ship, one three chapters and thirty pages long. Hell, I even read excerpts of the multichapter fic for an event we did for a class in Uni. These two have never talked with each other once in the entire play, but I'd die for them and their love. Countess Orsina is a good ship.

When it comes to Hetalia, I don't think so much about canon but cultural likeness & historical connections. It actually didn't occur to me until a few weeks ago that Oh yeah, people make ships also based on personalities & not historical precedence. I know I'm a dumbass, no need to tell me. I'm again more likely to ship something if I've been introduced to it via canon, but even then canon is my introduction to the idea of a ship, like PortEng or NedPort. The actual shipping would probably occur only after I've familiarized myself with through fanon and my own historical research.

When it comes to my OCs, well, obviously the bitches would need to meet each other

11. What makes a great ship in your own opinion?

I think any ship can be made to work in some way or another if you put the work in. Even if I don't personally like the way the ship works then, I am sure that 99.9% of ships on this green earth can be made viable in a way that I'd enjoy them at least to some degree as onlooker.

I HAVE to believe it. Trust me. Because when I was younger, I decided to just like ships or mash OCs together because ... I could. Because some core idea was funny. However, I never spent much thought on how a relationship between these two people would work, so writing content with the ships was tricky & didn't occur much. Since I am the biggest pighead you'll ever meet, I didn't abandon those ships, though. (The only ones I can remember where I did it is Sarielle and Prucan, but the latter's kinda making a comeback for an AU). I instead spent time to analyze why these two people would be drawn to each other, what makes them tick and which roles they fulfill in the relationship. Why are they staying? Why this person? What's their dynamic? I participated in RoChu week in 2017 to answer these questions for myself & I asked them when a friend of mine said they never really liked AusHun in the way it is often portrayed. So I tried to write them in a way that makes them loving each other make sense. Railey had to morph into the relationship of 'Old married couple' it is these days over years of trial and error (Big yikes to my edgy, hatesex ideas with them from way back in 2014). It took me years to figure out what makes Francetto truly tick, what turns attraction & fascination into love. I feel like I only cracked the code on how to write TurGre in my AU this year thanks to sadlygrove's excellent fanfictions.

All of that jazz being said, I think my two main categories of ship are this:

1. Cast in the same mold

Those characters may be polar opposites on the surface level, but they share one aspect of their personality that binds them together. Ask-Aph-Fruk, bless that this blog ever existed, put it very well with FrUK: They share their pride. They're both proud in exactly the same way, so even if they disagree on a thousand other things, they'll recognize each other at their core. SicIre is a similiar ship - Very different in how they express themselves, what matters to them and many cultural aspects. They however also share some basics (Agricultural islands, history of foreign occupation) and they most of all share their pride. Their yearning for freedom and no tolerance for those who infringe on it. They see themselves in each other's fighting spirit.

Other examples of this (the core characteristic doesn't HAVE to be pride, SicIre & FrUK are just Like That): Railey, Francetto, Kaliz, Gabio, Hette, Johanine. Also, I haven't dabbled in the Soul Eater fandom in years, but Stein/Medusa is also definitely this.

2. The yearning for what one lacks

Those characters are compatible because they're deeply attracted and yearning for something they can't be. They may share some personality traits or common interests on the surface, but they're wired differently at their core, which is what draws them to each other. TurGre is one example - these two share a lot of history and a lot of culture, but they're very different people at the end of the day. Herakles is thoughtful and languid, more quiet than Sadık, who is more impulsive and intense. It's the difference they want, they admire, they adore. It's who they can't be. Even more of a "Who they can't be" ship is GerIta to me. Feliciano and Ludwig do share some interests on the surface, but they seem like unlikely couple most of the time and are different deep down. Ludwig sees in Feliciano a levity, a depth of thought and emotion he simply cannot reach, someone who learnt how to deal with their past and tries to live in the moment. Feliciano in turn views Ludwig as someone stable, who may waver but never fall no matter what hits him, who will always learn how to brave every situation steadfastly.

Other examples of this: Spamano, DOTS, Rutherphee, Telova, Jemar, RoChu.

[stopforamoment]

Wacky Drabble #9: A Lesson in Metaphors and Irony

TRR after Book Three Bastien Lykel and OFC Rinda Lykel Word Count: 1,151 This is written for @emceesynonymroll wacky drabble challenge #9 Maybe you’re too innocent. Prompt is bolded in the story.

Bastien and Rinda are married in this one. Bastien is the Head of the Cordonian Emergency Response Program, Drake is the security officer at Valtoria Primary School, and Rinda is now a professor at the Cordonian University. Colin is Rinda’s close friend from grad school and another professor at the University. His wife Deirdre is a primary school teacher in Cordonia, and the couple share Rinda’s political views. A/N: This one is ripped from the headlines—Secretary Betsy DeVos visited a school in Milwaukee, WI and this is where my brain went.   This drabble is totally off the rails, so suspend reality with me and enjoy! Also, of course alcohol isn’t allowed on school property, as much as teachers may need to drink to get through the day! If you are a fan of President Trump, Secretary Betsy DeVos, or school choice, this won’t be your thing.

A Lesson in Metaphors and Irony “Can you believe that crazy bitch has the audacity to spin her anti-public education bullshit as ‘education FREEDOM’? And these fucking cherry-picked examples. Public schools do this stuff too. And they could do even more if these mother dick vouchers didn’t drain resources from our public schools. What a clusterfuck.” It was no secret that Rinda was a proponent for public schools and that she loathed Betsy DeVos. The idea of DeVos as the United States Secretary of Education, a person who should advocate for public education, was an oxyMORON. And now Rinda was fuming because DeVos visited Milwaukee, Wisconsin for some shitty photo ops, pontificating on the importance of vouchers and charter schools so parents could have better taxpayer-funded options for their children. And don’t even get her started that DeVos considered Milwauke the “birthplace of education freedom” because the voucher program started there. Bastien smiled because Rinda still considered American public schools to be “our” public schools, and he put down his phone to he could give his full attention during her Rinda Rant. He knew Rinda was appalled by the racial divides and socioeconomic inequalities in the city where she lived for so many years. Bastien also knew it was empathy, along with anger over any injustice, that motivated Rinda to make a difference. However, when Rinda was this pissed off and reacted out of anger, it never ended well. Bastien knew his Tria, and Rinda Rants were a much safer way for her to blow off steam. However, Bastien also quickly sent a message when Rinda’s back was to him. It wasn’t announced yet, but President Trump and Secretary DeVos scheduled a trip to Cordonia to visit some of the primary schools. Bastien knew he had to deny all security clearances for his dearest wife, and it was probably best if Rinda wasn’t allowed near Valtoria Primary School or the duchy during that time. Bastien did the math in his head. A restraining order for thirty miles should be enough. Rinda would be working at the University, and she could spend the night with Colin and Deidre while the President and Secretary were in Valtoria. . . . . . King Liam and Queen Riley smiled diplomatically as they listened to Secretary DeVos’ ideas on Freedom Scholarships, and Bastien maintained his stoic facade as President Trump pontificated on the benefits of arming teachers in classrooms. Thank God Tria isn’t here for this shit storm—there’s no way she would keep her composure for this. The Secret Service would have her detained by now and we’d have an international incident. The meeting was tolerable, although King Liam and Queen Riley soon needed to excuse themselves for an urgent phone call. That left Bastien with President Trump and Secretary DeVos. He began to wish Tria was there. She knew by heart the statistics about charter schools and vouchers, along with their negative effects on public schools. She also had detailed rebuttals for every counterargument against public education. And her inappropriate comments about President Orange Cheeto and Cruella DeVos would help make this meeting tolerable. Maybe even fun. He almost started chuckling as he thought about the jokes Rinda was making regarding the latest Betsy in his life. Betsy Beaumont the Badass Bastard Bird and now Betsy DeVos. I fucking hate the name Betsy. President Trump was still talking, unaware that Bastien wasn’t even listening, when Bastien’s phone rang. Drake needed his help with a school security matter and no, it couldn’t wait. Bastien let out a sigh of relief before turning to President Trump and Secretary DeVos, promising to return as soon as he could. In the meantime, they were welcome to explore the school and observe the students. When Bastien got to Drake’s office he was surprised to see Liam and Riley there, drinking very expensive whiskey with Drake. Whiskey that Rinda gifted him before she was banished from Valtoria for two days. Bastien’s jaw twitched. “What did Rinda do?” No one answered. Bastien glared as he called his wife. “Tria, why are the King and Queen drinking expensive whiskey in Drake’s office instead of finishing the meeting with President Trump and Secretary DeVos? Drake snickered as he watched Bastien pinch the bridge of his nose while he listened to his wife’s response, and Riley giggled when she heard Bastien hiss “Maybe you’re too innocent” as he abruptly ended the call. “Have a seat with us.” Liam gestured for Bastien to sit next to him, but there was an impish gleam in the King’s eyes. “Plausible deniability, Bastien. As far as we know, Rinda is simply working at the University and waiting until you say she can come home. Now, would you like a drink?” Soon there was the sound of secret service agents running in the halls and shouting directives. Drake swirled the whiskey in his glass as he automatically chanted “Use your walking feet. And zero volume in the halls.” There were several minutes of confusion, but Bastien finally pieced together what happened. A climbing rock wall had been delivered to the school, but it had inadvertently been dropped off in a location that sealed President Trump and Secretary DeVos in a section of the school. They were trapped behind the rock wall, and the only ways out were to climb over the rock wall or remove it. Riley and Liam started laughing when they realized the predicament, and Drake poured himself another whiskey. Bastien called Rinda again, this time putting her on speaker. “Tria. Do you know anything about a rock wall being delivered today? Or where it was dropped off?” “Hi, Tiger! Oh, did that finally arrive? I know the gym teacher has been waiting for it. They’re doing a unit on—” “Tria! I know you’re behind this. What were you thinking?” “Um, metaphors? Irony? Trump on the wrong side of a wall, barred from reaching a safe place that has more resources and opportunities? DeVos trapped in a public school, left behind because the rest of you had a voucher to get out and didn’t give a shit about her?” “I love you Tria, but I’m furious with you.” “Hey, at least I didn’t send the gift basket. I just couldn’t decide. Bags of Cheetos? Or I could really go for it. Fruit basket with oranges and peaches. I’m not orange. I’m peach.” Rinda laughed. “Impeach. Get it, Tiger?” Bastien took Rinda off speaker and turned around, speaking in a whisper that everyone else could still hear. “You know what this means. I want you to come home tonight where I can keep an eye on you, and you’re waking me up with a blow job for the next week.” Everyone heard Rinda’s laughter through the phone, and Bastien needed to excuse himself as his very contrite Tria told him what else she would do to make it up to her Tiger.