#the build up for the couple was good but the main premise and character was so exhausting

[volvolts]

The fake dating trope is so weird cuz I read a lot of those when I was younger and a lot of these were “person says they’re dating a friend/acquaintance cuz creep who is harassing them won’t leave them alone and creep demands proof so they keep up the facade in hopes they’ll leave” and suddenly now it’s “what if 😳😳 we go on dates no one will know of 😳😳 and maybe hold hands when no one is looking 😩😩 but I swear it’s for the bit”

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

The Dangers of Hope Ch. 7

Series Summary: When Y/N shows up at Camp Chitaqua with her little girl in tow, her bloodshot eyes leave no doubt that she's infected. Or is she? Everything Dean has come to know for certain over the last five hellish years, is about to be challenged.

Pairings/Characters in the series: Endverse!Dean x Reader, Emma (OFC), Castiel, Sam Winchester, Lucifer, Michael, Zachariah, Risa, Johnston (OMC), Patrick (OMC), Theresa (OFC), other survivors and soldiers.

Series Explicit 18 +/Warnings: Show level violence, some gore, angst, smut, fluff all the usual for a series of mine. ❤️ Endverse!Dean (that's a warning for his anger and callousness as well as his extreme hotness. 😁) Each chapter will have their own specific warnings.

Chapter Warnings: Angst, bit of smut.

Word Count: 4,813

A/N: So, I've had this idea for quite a while. Basically since I watched The Last of Us. I loved Pedro in the role of Joel, but I kept thinking how incredible Jensen would have been. Which then made me think of how amazing he was as Endverse!Dean which then led me to this idea. Lol! I've stolen the premise of Ellie's storyline from TLOU, but made her a grown up, a reader insert, and a love interest for Dean.

If you've never seen TLOU, don't worry - you don't need to have seen it to understand this story. 😊

I've taken some liberties with the Endverse in my story, changed a few things from canon, but kept lots of things too.

I sincerely hope you enjoy the story. It will be ten chapters and I will do my very best to post one chapter every weekend. ❤️

A/N 2: Chapter 7 has arrived. 😊 I hope you enjoy it! Thanks so much to everyone who has been reading, liking, commenting and reblogging this series! It means SO much! ❤️

Series Master List || Main Master List || Tag Lists

The dividers below were created by @saradika

Three and a half weeks later

“And these would be beside every tent?” Dean asked Brandy as he looked at the rough drawings she’d made of her latest idea.

She nodded. “Yeah, on the West side of every tent. It would mean families don’t have to come to Food Storage every few days for more rations, and once the deep snow comes that’s gonna be a huge benefit for folks. Plus it’s easier for people to plan ahead and stretch their food if they have two weeks worth of rations sitting outside their tent. I mean, it won’t work once spring comes, but that’s a problem for spring.”

Dean nodded. He looked at their builders, the group of half a dozen survivors that were tasked with providing new buildings and necessities as the camp required. They’d built the sheds earlier in the year, the chicken coop last summer and were currently finishing up a small barn for the cow.

“Is this gonna interfere with completing the barn?” He asked, nodding at Brandy’s drawings. 

One of the women, he was pretty sure her name was Vanessa, shook her head. “No, we’ll be finished with the barn in a couple of days, and be able to get Lily settled for the winter all snug, and then move on to the food sheds.” She looked at the drawing again and shrugged. “They’re small enough that we should be able to get them all done within a few weeks?” 

She looked to the rest of the builders who nodded their agreement.

Dean frowned. “Lily?”

Vanessa grinned. “Yeah, sorry that’s what the kids have dubbed our little cow. Y/N has them going to visit her once a week so Ralph can teach them about farming.” She said, referring to the old farmer who had helped to plant the winter vegetables.

Dean felt his stomach twist as it always did when someone brought up her name. But he just nodded. “Okay, good. Get started on the food sheds as soon as you’re able. The deep snow is gonna come in the next couple weeks. It’d be good to have them all done by then.”

They all gave a chorus of “Okay, Boss” or “Sure thing Boss” as they nodded and took their leave. They wrapped their scarves tight and pulled on their mittens. The deep snow may not have come yet, but the ground was layered in white, and winter was sharp and stinging in the late November air.

Brandy gathered up her drawings and was headed out when Dean called her back.

“Brandy?”

She turned back to him, an eyebrow raised in question. They'd never discussed their meeting in the cabin with Y/N, but he'd noticed a slightly colder demeanor from her lately.

And he knew why, of course. 

Brandy had been one of the original dozen survivors who had built the camp together. She'd been an incredible asset from the beginning, and they probably wouldn't have survived without her planning and strategies for running the camp. He and the soldiers may have kept the survivors alive, but Brandy kept them living by organizing and planning for their food and shelter. She was an invaluable member of the camp.

But three weeks ago he'd treated her like a servant meant to do his bidding. He knew he owed her an apology, but it had been so long since he'd apologized for anything that it stuck in his throat.

Now she contemplated him, waiting for him to speak, and he just nodded. He pointed towards her drawings. 

“This is a good idea.” He cleared his throat. “So, thanks.”

Brandy stared a moment longer before a small smile twitched at the corners of her mouth. She nodded.

“No problem, Boss. That's what we're all here for, right?”

Dean just nodded and she lifted her scarf over her face and left the big cabin where Dean conducted most of his business these days, since it was warmer than his tent and could fit more people.

As he ran a hand over his face, the door opened again and most of his soldiers tromped inside. They were there to talk about security and possible threats, but Dean immediately looked at Johnston. 

“Hey, did you tell her I want to see her?”

The thin man nodded vigorously. “Yes sir. I told her yesterday. Has…has she not come to see you yet?” He looked around the room as though Y/N might be hiding somewhere. 

Dean shook his head. “No, she hasn't.” He pointed towards the door. “So why don't you go get her and tell her I expect to see her now.”

Johnston looked wary and as though he definitely didn't want to follow that order. But when Dean just stared him down, he turned and left quickly.

The rest of his soldiers began giving their reports about any problems they were having at the outposts, like equipment that needed repair or items that needed replenishing. But Dean was only half listening; his gaze kept straying to the door, waiting for Y/N to show. 

Ten minutes later, Patrick was briefing him and Dean tried to focus on what he was saying. 

“Williams has seen the group twice now, but -” Patrick cut himself off as Y/N and Johnston pushed through the door.

Y/N smiled at the soldiers as she came in. “Sorry to interrupt, but apparently I was summoned.” 

She cut her glance to Dean and her smile turned brittle. 

“I was told you needed to see me.”

“Yeah, since yesterday.” Dean responded, hardening his voice in an attempt to not seem desperate, especially in front of his soldiers.

“Sorry. Busy.” Was Y/N's curt reply. “What do you need?”

Dean took a deep breath. “I just wanted to know how you're -” he altered his words, “your school, or, uh, the school was going?”

Y/N paused for a moment before answering with a shrug. 

“Fine.”

When it was clear that was all she was going to say, Dean scowled at her. “You wanna elaborate on that?”

She raised her chin a fraction. “Oh, I'm sorry, Boss, I don’t have anything else to say right now, but I’ll be sure to write out a full report for next week.”

Her eyes shot daggers that found their mark, bringing a pain to his chest that he felt a lot these days. He’d thought it might go away if he could talk to her, see her, but it was just worse with her there.

He shook his head. “That won't be necessary.” He said quietly.

“Anything else then, Sir?”

He'd never hated that moniker more. “No, that's it.” 

She spun on her heel and walked out of the cabin. Silence reigned when she left. Dean waved at everyone else. “We'll finish this another time.” When they didn't immediately move, he made his voice a bit sharper. 

“Dismissed.”

That got them moving and they all shuffled their way out the door - all except Risa. She closed the door behind her fellow soldiers and then turned back to face Dean. 

He caught her eye and lifted his hands. “What?”

She shook her head slowly. “You're such an idiot.”

Dean dropped his hands and raised an eyebrow. “Wanna try that again?”

Risa shook her head as she walked back to him. “No, I said what I said.” 

Dean gave her a look of annoyance as she reached him and leaned one hip on the table where he stood. She raised her hand to his cheek, her countenance softening. 

“I really wanted to be the one.”

Dean scowled in confusion. “The one what?”

Risa pushed her fingers through his short hair. “The one to make you smile.” There was a long pause between them and Dean had no idea how to respond to that. She shook her head and stood up straight, dropping her hand. “But, it was obviously meant to be her.”

Dean scoffed. “What are you talking about?”

“Y/N. You know I'm talking about Y/N.”

He gave a short burst of sarcastic, humorless laughter. “Yeah, right. You think Y/N's gonna make me smile? I've done nothing but pull my hair out since she got here, so ..” He trailed off and looked away from Risa's knowing gaze.

Risa nodded. “Yeah, cause you're an idiot.” She reiterated.

When he looked back at her, Risa was smiling softly and wistfully. “Apologize to her, idiot. Try to get back what you've nearly lost. She's pissed, don't get me wrong, it might take some real groveling on your part but,” she nodded, “she has a very kind heart, so she might forgive you. It's definitely worth a try.”

Dean stared at her for a moment before he looked down at the ground, conceding the truth in her words. “I don't know how to do it.”

Risa gave a gentle laugh. “You're a smart guy. Bet you'll figure it out.”

She put her hand on his cheek again, resting the other on his chest as she stood on tiptoe to reach his lips. She placed a light, lingering kiss there and then pulled away. 

“Goodbye, Dean.”

Dean felt a jolt of worry at the farewell. “You’re leaving? Am I losing a soldier?”

She smiled and shook her head. “No, the soldier is staying. I'm saying goodbye to the woman I wanted to be for you. And the man that she…cared about a lot. I hope he lets himself be happy.”

Dean frowned, feeling the weight of her goodbye, with all of its disappointed hopes. 

“Goodbye Risa.” He said, and knowing it wasn't enough, he cupped her cheeks in his hands and kissed her lips, light and brief. “Thank you…for being the woman you are.”

He thought he saw a glimmer of moisture in her eye, but she blinked it away quickly and pulled out from under his hands. She moved to the door in a few strides and, with one last smile thrown over her shoulder, she walked away.

***

That afternoon as the winter sun headed into the west, Dean made the decision to go talk to Y/N. This was ridiculous. They were a camp of less than 150 people, continuing to try and avoid each other was impractical.

He'd just go tell her that.

He walked to the school because she was usually still there this time of day. But when he got there, the schoolroom was empty. He looked around the space that he hadn't seen in over a month and had to shake his head.

What had been a cold empty shed not even three months ago was now a warm, inviting, cozy space. She'd had a little camp stove installed, and on the Northern wall, replacing the fall leaves that had been there, was a giant, beautifully sewn quilt. He recognized it as the same design as the one that hung in the big cabin. 

Hannah, who was Ralph-the-farmer's wife, had made it out of old scraps of material. It took a long time to gather enough scraps for a whole quilt so he knew this quilt probably took her months of hard work. But of course she'd gifted it to Y/N and the school. That's what Y/N brought out in people - hard work and generosity.

The small wooden table in the room had four chairs around it now and he wondered where she'd snagged the other two chairs. 

The kids’ blanket seating had been enhanced slightly with the addition of a few pillows, and on the western wall, beside the old map, two long, weathered planks of wood had been nailed in place to serve as bookshelves. The books he'd brought back had been placed lovingly on the shelves, not a single corner bent on any of them. 

He sighed at the changes and felt a warmth flare to life in his heart. Y/N did this too - seeming to warm the spaces around her without trying.

He walked out of the schoolroom and was just starting to walk back to his tent when he heard high pitched giggles coming from the side of the school just seconds before three small bodies hurtled forward, chasing and grabbing on to one another - Emma and her two little friends. He couldn't remember their names.

When they all saw him, the laughter fell away and Emma's eyes got wide, fear and suspicion filling them instantly. It felt like a punch when he remembered the way she'd climbed up on the chair beside him that one time, shy acceptance in her expression as she asked him to read to her.

He hated that she was so scared of him; he had to try and fix that much, at least. 

“Hi girls.” He said in what he hoped was a friendly sounding voice. Emma's friends nodded and waved at him slightly. But Emma stayed on high alert.

He looked at her two friends. “I need to talk to Emma, so you girls head on home now.” 

They looked to Emma who looked more scared than ever. But she whispered goodbye to them and they ran off.

Dean got a bit closer to her and went down on his haunches. He took a second to think what to say to her.

“You know, you don't have to be scared of me.”

“I'm not.” Emma said quickly while her big blue eyes were shrouded in fear.

Dean nodded. “Okay, good because…” He struggled to find the words that would help. “Cause I thought maybe I scared you a bit before. When I, uh, needed to talk to your mom alone.”

Emma nodded, the suspicion growing in her gaze. “When you were mad at Mommy.”

Dean shook his head. “No, I wasn't mad.” 

Emma gave him a look that said she didn't believe him and he conceded with a nod. 

“Okay, I was a little…upset, but I was just…confused. Eventually everything got figured out.”

She didn't say anything, clearly still highly skeptical. 

Dean took a deep breath and decided  to just go for it. “Anyway, I didn't mean to scare you and I'm…sorry about it.” He cleared his throat. “And I promise not to scare you like that again. Okay?”

Emma stared at him for a long time and he kept hold of her earnest blue gaze throughout her scrutiny. Slowly a smile spread across her face.

“Okay.” She said, accepting him at his word. “Then can you come over again for supper tonight? I can read a bunch of words now, mommy taught me in the books. So, I could help you read the story this time.”

Dean shook his head at the speedy ways of forgiveness in a child's heart, and for the first time in more years than he could remember, a small smile turned up one side of his mouth. 

He reached out to pat her cold cheek. “I'm not sure, kiddo. We'll have to wait and see.” Emma was about to argue the point but Dean stood up. “Now it's gonna be dark soon and it's way too cold for you to be out here without a scarf. Don't you have one?” He asked.

Emma nodded. “Yeah, but I don't like it. It itches.”

Dean hummed. “Ah, yeah wool does that sometimes.” He unwound his own scarf from around his neck.

“Here, I'll trade you.” He said as he wound the polyester scarf around her neck and up over her cheeks. “Now, you head home.”

Emma's eyes were bright and happy above her new scarf as she danced away, skipping through the light snow that blanketed the ground.

He watched her go for a moment before turning back to head home himself. But he stopped dead in his tracks as he saw Y/N standing in the path with an arm full of wood. Silence reigned for nearly a full minute. Finally he reached forward to take the wood, but Y/N shook her head.

“No, I’m fine.” She nodded toward the school. “Just stocking up for tomorrow.”

“Right.” 

More silence. Y/N’s voice was quiet when she finally spoke. “Thank you for the scarf. It’s been impossible to get her to wear one.”

He nodded and then realized something. “How long were you standing there?”

Y/N took a deep breath, answering on an exhale. “Since just before you promised my daughter not to scare the shit out of her again.”

Dean nodded and closed his eyes. “So, basically the whole time.”

“Yeah, basically.” She took a beat pause. “Thank you for that.” 

Dean nodded. She walked towards the school again but before she could close the door and shut him out, Dean called to her, knowing his voice sounded desperate.

“I needed to believe it.”

Y/N turned in the doorway, a frown on her face. “Needed to believe what?”

He took a step closer, feeling choked by all the words he wanted to say that wouldn’t form properly in his mind. Y/N stared at him for a moment more before huffing slightly and walking into the schoolroom. He followed her inside, closing the door against the wind as she dropped the pile of wood into a metal bucket by the stove.

When she turned back to face him, she was scowling. “Dean, I don’t know what you want here. What do you want me to say?”

He shook his head. He didn’t want her to say anything. He wanted to say things, so many things. “No, nothing.” He croaked out.

She crossed her arms over her chest, bunching up her too big jacket. “Then what are you doing here?”

He took deep breaths in through his nose, pushing the words out through a closed throat. “I needed to believe it.” He said again, quieter this time.

“Believe what?” Y/N asked in frustration.

He stepped close to her and she took a step back before refusing to retreat. He gazed at her and wished more than anything that she really could just see inside his head so he wouldn’t have to try and get it out.

But he looked at the ground quickly and then back at her. His breathing was slightly labored and his voice was thin as he spoke. “You’re so dangerous to me, Y/N.”

He knew he said the wrong words when her forehead wrinkled into a deep frown and she nodded. “Because - I’m a psychic monster? Or because I’m a croat? Why exactly am I dangerous this time?”

“Because you’re you.” Dean answered loudly, speaking over the end of her question. He sighed in frustration; he was getting all of this wrong. He looked up to the heavens, as though they could possibly help him, and tried again, speaking softer.

“I needed to believe that you could control my mind or my…my feelings because…” He trailed off and looked at Y/N hoping she’d just know what he was saying and finish the sentence for him. But she was still just frowning in confusion.

“Because,” he continued, “my feelings when I'm around you are…dangerous. For me, I mean, they’re dangerous. Y/N I can’t…” He shook his head. “The way you look at the world? And the way you change how I see it too? It’s so fucking dangerous.”

He waved his hand, trying to encompass everything. “This world is ugly and shitty, and fucking ended! We literally lived through the end of the world, and now all that’s left is this - this dark, violent, bullshit reality.” 

He shook his head and his voice was filled with awe. “Yet somehow you move through it like this,” again he struggled for the words to describe her, “like some kind of lighthouse, like a refuge for every cold, lost thing. And I - “

He cut himself off, not sure he was making any sense. But Y/N had stopped frowning and was now just contemplating him.

He shrugged. “And when I’m around you, I feel warmer than I’ve felt in years, brighter.” He shook his head and moved away from her, embarrassed by his confession and knowing he wasn't saying it right. 

He stared at the map as he spoke. “So, I needed to believe that the feelings weren’t real, that you’d just forced me to feel that way. Because if the feelings and thoughts you bring out of me are real?” His shoulders slumped. “God, I’m so fucked.”

He felt Y/N come up to stand just behind him on his right, but he stayed staring at the map as she spoke.

“Why? What’s so dangerous about warmth and light?”

His voice was barely audible as he answered slowly. “Because they bring hope. And hope is a lie. It’s a lie I believed for a long time, a lie I clung to. The lie of possibilities, of family, of good conquering evil. And when the lie was revealed and the world fell apart, the truth almost killed me.”

After a moment he turned to face her and felt his heart skip as he saw her expression of sadness and the tears that sparkled in her eyes, even in the growing dusk.

He lifted a hand to cup her cheek and thumbed away a tear as it fell over her bottom lashes. “And Y/N, if I allow myself to hope again, and it gets crushed by the world again…” He shook his head. “I won’t survive it, I know I won’t.”

He took a step closer to her and felt her warmth penetrating his cold bones. She grabbed his free hand and held it in both of hers as he dropped his other hand from her cheek.

“Or…” she said, her voice filled with conviction, “or we can both hope, both fight, and both win. Even if we never get big wins, the little ones still count. And they add up. Every day we’re here alive is a win. Every time we smile at someone and they smile back is a win. Every time the sun shines so bright you have to close your eyes, every time we hear Emma giggle, every time our stomachs are full, every time we do something to make our home here better - every small thing adds up to big wins.”

Dean shook his head. He knew that trying to resist the pull of her light and life was pointless; she’d been pulling him out of the dark, and changing his plans since the moment she’d come into his life. 

He used their connected hands to pull her tight against him and watched heat enter her beautiful, red-ringed eyes.

He bent his head, but before his lips touched hers, he whispered words that came much easier now. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. For all of it. I’m so sorry.”

Another tear fell down her cheek and she smiled and bit her lip. “If I say you’re forgiven will you kiss me?”

He pretended to mull it over and then nodded. “Yes, I think that’s fair.”

In the dusky twilight around them he pulled her close and pressed his lips to hers; his arms tightened around her as she moaned softly. 

He was definitely counting that sound as a win.

***

Over the next month Dean resumed his dinners with Y/N, the difference being that he was there nearly every night, and he’d stopped pretending to himself that he didn’t relish every moment with her and Emma. 

Over the evenings spent together, Emma had warmed more and more to him so that now she ran to meet him every time he walked through their tent flap, holding her arms up so he’d pick her up and toss her up into the air, catching her in a swooping motion as she came down. It made Y/N gasp every time, but Emma squealed with delight. He’d set her down and she’d grab his hand, nearly three times the size of hers, and pull him over to the table.

He’d take off his heavy canvas jacket within the relative warmth of the tent, and drape it over Emma’s shoulders, making her giggle as she drowned inside it. 

They’d sit around the table and share the day's events, though Emma usually did the majority of the talking. It always brought a mixture of feelings when he listened to her bubbly, excited stories. It made him happy and terrified at the same time. She was so precious he couldn’t help but smile, an expression that was becoming easier for him as the days went by. But also, his chest felt tight and he could feel terror creep in as the darkness whispered a warning, telling him that he couldn’t possibly keep her safe. He’d lose her, and Y/N too.

Sometimes that thought woke him from a deep sleep and made him shake and sweat. It was proving incredibly difficult to make all his fears go away. But as soon as he saw Y/N’s smile the next day, it felt easier.

In fact it was becoming increasingly difficult to go home at all, to leave her warm cozy tent and return to his dismal gray one. But they were trying to be careful and move slowly in deference to Emma. They didn’t want her to feel confused or unsure of things now that she finally seemed so at ease. 

So they hid their kisses and their caresses until after Emma was sleeping, at which point they’d usually try and brave the cold long enough to enjoy some alone time, even if it was encumbered by bulky jackets and scarves. They never had enough time, but they’d managed slightly more satisfactory make out sessions in the empty school and in Dean’s tent. But they were always too rushed and things had to end too quickly.

Dean ached for her more and more every day.

One evening in mid December, the air was much milder than usual; the day had been unseasonably warm and the night held on to a trace of it. Dean had Y/N pressed up against the side of the thick canvas tent, sucking on the soft skin just below her ear. As her breath caught and she angled her head so that he had better access, he was practically vibrating with how badly he needed to feel her. 

As he breathed into her mouth, he slowly unzipped her jeans, letting her tell him no if she wanted. But she just nodded and bit her lip.

He watched her face as he slipped his fingers under the waistband of the leggings she wore as an extra layer against the cold, and then down into her panties. He desperately tried to stifle the moan that wanted to escape as he felt how soaking wet she was for him.

“Goddamn.” He whispered roughly as he slid two fingers inside her, rubbing his thumb against her little bundle of nerves and making her bite harder into her lip to keep quiet. He decided to help her out and closed his mouth over hers, swallowing up her small moans.

He pushed in and out of her body, his cock hardening as she gripped his forearm where it disappeared into her pants while her cunt clenched tight around his fingers. He passed his fingers over her sweet spot a couple of times and she fell over the edge. She broke off their kiss to bury a scream in his neck, muffling it with his thick collar. 

As she came down she clung to him, her hot breaths creating puffs of white in the cold air. She moved her hand to cup his hard on through his jeans and was just reaching for his zipper when they suddenly heard Cas’ voice inside the tent.

“Emma, where is your mother and Dean?” 

Dean groaned. What the fuck? Y/N squeaked slightly and pulled her hand back, making him absolutely throb with need. He was gonna slaughter his best friend. 

They were quickly righting their clothing when Emma's voice reached them, and it didn’t really sound like she’d been sleeping.

“They’re outside the tent, kissing each other.”

Y/N’s eyes got huge and round and Dean stifled a snorted laugh behind his palm while she slapped his bicep. 

“It’s not funny. Jesus, we’re gonna traumatize her!” She said in a horrified whisper.

Suddenly Cas’ head poked around the side of the tent and he frowned. “Are you finished kissing?”

Y/N buried her head in Dean’s chest and Dean scowled at the angel. “Well, we sure as hell are now.”

Cas nodded, completely ignoring Dean’s frustration. “Good. You need to come inside. I have incredible news.”

Dean sighed and rolled his eyes. “What news, Cas?”

The angel’s smile was surprising in its rarity and it made Dean raise an eyebrow.

“I know why Y/N isn’t a psychic.”

Jensen RPF and Any/All Characters: @lyarr24 @lacilou @deans-spinster-witch @globetrotter28 @suckitands33 @akshi8278 @evznackles @jackles010378 @impala67rollingthroughtown @krazykelly @candy-coated-misery0731 @envyaurora95 @spnwoman @deans-baby-momma

Dean Fics Only: @roonthelittlespoon920 @slamminmine @zepskies @safiyas-world

Any/All Fics Regardless of Character or Fandom: @kazsrm67 @slut-for-evans-stan @sexyvixen7 @nancymcl @hobby27 @waywardcheshire

Everything Incl. Fan Edits: @k-slla @leigh70 @eevvvaa @kickingitwithkirk @foxyjwls007 @notinthislife50 @roseblue373 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @avanatural @mrsjenniferwinchester @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @deangirl96

[foxglovegames]

Trouble Comes Twice - the Postmortem

We celebrated Trouble Comes Twice's anniversary around a month ago! We'd hoped to post this postmortem back then as well, but it's taken us a moment to find the right words haha.

Anyway, we hope that this postmortem can give our players and other visual novel devs some insight into what the development process looked like for us. It's also a great way for us to look back at what went well and what went less well.

We'll be taking about the ideation phase, our (lack of) marketing for the Kickstarter, and also sharing (what we can) on our earnings from the game!

Coming up with Trouble Comes Twice

The original tone of Trouble Comes Twice was a lot more comedic and packed to the brim with anime tropes we enjoy. Most didn't make it into the final game, but some stayed and evolved e.g. all of the love interests are based on popular visual novel archetypes - the childhood friend, the tomboy, the shy girl, and the bad boy. 

Some, like Cameron and Zoe, changed a lot from their concept while Adrian and Stephanie stayed quite loyal to our original ideas of them. Cameron's character actually underwent the most changes after the initial reception to the demo, where a lot of people felt like he was too much of an ass haha. (Fortunately, he became a fan favorite when we dropped the new demo!)

The premise with the bet was something we invented to create some drama and establish a common plot thread throughout each route. Honestly, looking back, we would probably have approached the bet differently if we wrote it today and a lot of our pre-planning was... clumsy, at best. Still, it was a labor of love and I'll never forget the fun and excitement we had everyday balling ideas for the characters and coming up with their designs.

As Melli and I are just writers with limited coding experience, we worked with a past game jam friend to code the GUI and set up the base for the game (though the actual scripting was done by us and Melli put everything together in the end). Our biggest expenses pre- and post-demo was the character art and CGs, meanwhile we relied on free music and BG packs to save money.

Why a bisexual romcom?

So, this was sort of a no-brainer to us. We had decided right from the start that both twins could date both the male and female love interests, and (at the time) we feel that a lot of similar games had playersexual MCs rather than established bisexual/pansexual MCs. While playersexual charas are also awesome, we wanted to write a romcom where the main cast are always queer regardless of who you end up romancing. 

At the same time, bi/pan people don't all approach romantic relationships the same way e.g. Cameron is confident and has experience dating people of all genders, while Adrian's demi and Jace still struggles a bit with his attraction towards men. We know that some of our players felt like that made certain routes less romantic than others and we hear you on that feedback and have 100% taken it into consideration for our future romance games. But anyway, that was our thought process behind Trouble Comes Twice's romance dynamics!

Preparing for Kickstarter & the actual Campaign

Our Kickstarter launched at the start of August and let me tell you, we were nowhere near as prepared as we should have been. 😭 We hadn't set up a Steam page yet, we were trailer-less, and we only had a couple of hundred followers across our socials at best. I feel that there's a lot more successful Kickstarter projects to refer to and even a lot of marketing guides and advice now, but mostly it's on us for not researching more. 

The Kickstarter campaign did surprisingly well despite the lack of promotion and only having a rough alpha demo - we were even able to double our goal! - but we  wouldn't recommend what we did for other devs.

You should invest time into making a good demo, spend time building an interested audience before launching your campaign, and research so you've got some kind of marketing plan. We were lucky with word-of-mouth and that other visual novel devs with larger followings helped share our game, but we should have made more effort reaching out to bloggers, streamers, and game sites. Some crowdfunding successes may seem like they came out of nowhere and were just pure luck, but there's usually a lot of grinding behind-the-scenes that you don't notice.

The post-Kickstarter era, at least for us, was the harder bit. We now had 353 loyal backers who had expectations based on promises we had made and we had to make sure we met those expectations while also staying true to our wants as the devs. It was a learning process for sure, but we're fairly proud that we always did our best to keep our backers in the loop. It's frustrating to write an update explaining that the game has been delayed again, but backers are more open to being understanding than you think as long as you communicate!

A tip we'd give to new devs considering Kickstarter: Don't overestimate what you can do, but overestimate what you need. There's always hidden costs, unexpected taxes/fees, and other unknown obstacles that might eat up your budget. In our case, we made enough to make the game as planned, but had to change CG artists around halfway through development which meant our original budget didn't cut it anymore. Fortunately, we had earned a decent amount from our Patreon and pre-orders that we were able to use to complete the CGs, but that isn't always going to be an option for everyone and that also meant we were unable to use that money ourselves. (We didn't take any money from the original Kickstarter campaign, so whatever was earned through patreon and pre-sales was our only "salary" at the time.) 

Writing the game

Writing is, for obvious reasons, one of the most important parts of a visual novel. Melli wrote Jace's routes and I wrote Hazel's routes, which removed some pressure off our shoulders compared to trying to write over 300,000 words all on our own. 

It's fun working with another writer, but there are also some unique issues and considerations that come up when you're writing a game with two protagonists split between two writers. Especially because at the time, there weren't many visual novels with a similar set up to refer to.

The main things we learned, were:

Consistency. We wanted each couple to have their own dynamic, but the characterization needs to remain consistent between routes. You don't want Adrian in Jace's route to feel like a totally different character in Hazel's route. Additionally, we had to be careful that the tone and writing style of the protagonists' POVs still felt like you were playing the same game. Some routes can be more comedic than others, but we've got a problem if Hazel's routes are all (unintentionally) more serious/angsty in tone than Jace's or vice versa.

Watch out for your word count! Longer does not always equal better and writing eight routes, we had to put some restrictions in place. Even when writing on your own, it can be tough to guess how long your story should be, and it was important to us that the routes were roughly the same length so that none felt more "canon" than the other. However, with two writers who have different writing styles and ways of planning, it was tricky to compare our outlines and we struggled at times when it came to matching each other's word counts. Moving forward, we're probably going to be more lenient when it comes to word counts - some routes have to be longer than others, it doesn't mean that route is automatically more "important". We're also doing more regular meetings and frequent check-ins to make sure we're on the same page. In the future, we hope that should save us a lot of trouble when it comes to pacing! 🙈

Balancing your own wants with the wants of your players. In theory, these overlap most of the time. But making a commercial game (that people had already "bought" through the Kickstarter), there is some pressure when it comes to meeting certain expectations. We can't always just write what we want and assume everyone else is going to love it, but we also don't want to neglect what we personally like. We had a survey for the beta where we were able to get regular feedback and a lot of helpful advice. We definitely want to continue with surveys in the future - they are a great way to gather opinions from different players and figure out what works versus what doesn't! 

We took on too many tasks outside writing that distracted us. This bit is sort of inevitable for indie devs like us. 😅 Working with a limited budget and limited resources, you just end up having to wear a lot of hats! We think we did quite well sharing these duties though, and moving forward (thanks to you guys) we can afford more hands on deck to help us out. 

Marketing

The bane of every indie game dev's existence... although secretly, I kind of enjoy marketing but don't tell anyone that!

Having learned a thing or two from promoting the Kickstarter, we spent more time researching games marketing but in the end, trial and error was the best teacher.

As we got closer to the release date, we were posting almost daily on social media and grew our Twitter to over eight thousand followers. We didn't have any viral posts, but we saw a consistent growing interest in our game and it was such a motivation boost to see comments from potential players being excited for the game. We know a lot of devs have said that Twitter didn't help their game much but according to our stats, a decent number of our players found us through the platform. 

We saw less success here on Tumblr. Perhaps we haven't cracked the code here yet or maybe we're just comparing our numbers from Twitter unfairly! We're not hung up about it though, we love it here because it feels easier to connect with our followers and other devs there, and it's nice because we're able to write longer posts like this one! 💓

Aside from posting on social media, we reached out to several streamers and some bloggers prior to release to send them free game keys. 

We also commissioned some art from other artists to share, as we obviously couldn't reveal ALL our CGs before the release lol and visual posts tend to do a lot better in our experience. It was so much fun to see the characters in other art styles and we hope we can afford to commission guest art pieces a lot more frequently in the future!

In hindsight, we definitely regret not releasing a trailer sooner! We underestimated how much interest a good trailer could garner and delayed setting up our Steam page because of it. Steam was the platform where we sold the most copies and most of our buyers found the game through Steam itself.

Also, posting your trailer on youtube adds another site where you're promoting your game so there's really no reason not to get that trailer done as soon as you can. 

Final Notes

After the initial stress, we were pretty happy with our release! Although there were some things we would go back and change if we could,  that's just the nature of these kind of things. For the most part, we're proud of what we achieved and happy that we have learnt so much from Trouble Comes Twice that we can take into consideration for future projects.

We can't share exact numbers, but we wanted to open up a bit about our earnings for the game to help other aspiring devs: As of writing this, Trouble Comes Twice has earned close to 85,000 euros. This counts our profits from 2020 to now (the Kickstarter, Patreon, pre-sales, and actual sales). Removing fees, taxes, the salaries of our talented artists and other freelancers, as well as the money invested into our next game, our personal pockets did not see anything close to those numbers. But we're super proud of how much our little game has made and so grateful that it's allowed us more creative freedom with our next title! 

So, what's next?

You might have heard but for the past year, we've slowly been working on the demo and upcoming announcement for our next visual novel:

A 17+ supernatural neon-noir romance game about monsters, love, and other horrors. 

Play as vampire detective Circe (female protagonist) or hellhound cop Dante (male protagonist) and delve into the mysteries of North Haven, where demons, vampires, and supernaturals hide in plain sight among humans.

The game features six routes, with three romance options available to each protagonist. Dante only has male romances and Circe has both male and female romances. 

The game tackles a darker, more angsty tone compared to Trouble Comes Twice. Still, we hope that those who decide to check it out will enjoy it! We plan to announce the game this coming Autumn. Follow our Twitter (we're still not calling it X sorry) or Tumblr to stay up to date.

[doodlinge]

my writing tips, that i think people will find useful:

- write dialogue first and THEN make a scene around it.

i like to do this sometimes for multiple reasons. first, if you’re in a flow of good ideas, getting dialogue done will be a future GAME CHANGER. you don’t have to be stuck fussing over little word choices because you just do it when you have a good idea, and it works! fuss over it now, save time for descriptions later. second, the characters you’re writing usuuallly wont be able to read eachother’s minds. we people do everything by communication and talking! so, map out what you want your scene to look like through dialogue! i like to do mine as a screenplay or movie script, so that way i can ensure that the characters are speaking Like Real People (tm). and THEN I READ IT OUTLOUD >:)

- map out your chapters before you start to write. seriously, do it.

so, personally, my favorite part of fanfiction and writing is the planning stage. and i like doing it on paper, but we’ll get into that after this. first, you get the idea, the spark in your brain that could make an AMAZING story, comic, or au. that’s the general premise to work off of! write that down, if you need. next, do a VERY rough draft of what you want to happen—specifically, the 3 main points of your story: the beginning event, the middle event or climax, and the ending event, or your point A, B, and C. work off of and build up (or build down) from each of these core events of your story, planning the small events that lead up to The Big Guy (or B). these ideas or premises for each leading event can and probably will be VERY, VERY rough, but once you’ve got the rough idea of what will probably happen done, you can get to work on MORE PLANNING (sorry guys. learn to enjoy it)

- PLANNING PART TWO BABY WOOO (plan out your chapters. and if it doesnt work when you’re writing it, that’s okay!)

this is what you will do before you write your chapters, that works for me way better than just going in with no plan. personally, when i started to write the fic i’m currently writing, i mapped out all the rough details that i want to happen in the climax chapter of my story, because most people find the middle the hardest part. since i already had an rough idea of what would have happened before the climax with my previous planning stage, i already was able to connect how all of the buildup would lead into the climax of the story pretty easily. every action in your story will have a consequence, big or small, and that all will lead up to your protagonist bursting into tears or the main couple confessing their love or the final, epic battle between the protagonist and antagonist! if, when you’re writing, the rough idea you had just isn’t working out, you can either a: redo it completely if it’s a huge problem, or b (my favorite): work around it in the moment and improvise. i ended up making my fic’s climax way better just because of the extra scenes i added in while writing, but since i had my original plan to work off of, everything was a lot easier.

- make every scene with a motive to accomplish

most people know this one, but i thought it was good to add in. whether it’s to flesh out the world around your characters with fun and shenanigans or to give the audience a little more insight into a character who will be useful in the future, every scene and every chapter should have a purpose. when people act, they also like to give their characters motivations, and for a while, i wasn’t sure how that could connect. however, now i understand. let’s say a character is trying to motivate another one to be brave and face their fears, but character a is actually only interested in their own interests. character a’s motivation is to be self-serving—they’re not as concerned with helping character b, but instead, they want to help themself. this shows a lot about character a! when you have a purpose for every story beat and a motive for each character, it can help you flesh out the character much better.

- show don’t tell (and what i interpret that as)

okay, so for a while, i had NO idea what show don’t tell even meant. i LOVE writing about my character’s thoughts, their interests, their perspectives on what’s going on around them. character analysis is one of the best parts, for me! but there are ways to show what a character is thinking without the use of heavy description. for example, take this part from the fic i’m currently working on right now:

the character i’m writing for had not mentioned her mom the entire chapter, but when you go back and analyze her character throughout it, you can see major hints that part of why she who she is stems from her trauma with her mother. when she connects to an older adult female figure and feels understood, the issues she has are shown and not told, clear as day. by using dialogue and trusting your audience to connect the dots about your characters, you can make a better-written story! remember motivations; sometimes, characters don’t even know they have the motivations that they do, and the audience has to figure it out based on context clues. leave room for intrigue and mystery! think; if you were this character in this situation feeling the way they felt, what would you do? what would you say? why would you say it, and what would that reveal about you?

- write one story beat per day and WRITE ON PAPER

the word count, for me, doesn’t matter. if the quality of your writing is good, and the pacing gives audiences room to breathe, then that’s enough! quality over quantity, in my opinion. if you’re not up for writing, PLAN CHAPTERS! plan scenes, plan events! plan dialogue, make it fun! that is writing too. for me, when i have the planning done, i go with the One Story Beat Per Day Rule. if you get one small event done each time you write, you’ll be finishing The Big Event you wanted to accomplish in no time. and if you’re in the middle of a big story beat and you just need a break, i’d say to take one…. and later, come back with a notebook and a pen and think. paper has helped me write better because the flow of thought just keeps going when i’m focused, and i think it might work for a lot of people.

- remember, YOU CAN DO THIS! MAKE IT FUN!

writing and finishing stuff is really, really hard. but if you get one small thing done for the characters in your story, comic or au each day… you’ll eventually have an amazing, finished story. make it fun for yourself. listen to music, act out the scripts, use color theory, analyze your characters and don’t make it a chore! every small step contributes to getting to the top. make something you will love to write, and that you will love to read. make something for yourself, because in the end, if you enjoy it, the audiences will enjoy it.

[all-souls-matinee]

BONUS Halloween in August/September Review: Alien: Romulus (2024)

[Eschewing my usual format of 1-2 sentence summary + 1-2 paragraphs of thoughts, this one will be a combination to include several spoilers. It also assumes some prior knowledge of the Alien franchise]

Going into Romulus I was leery of how video game-y the trailer felt and the choice of a director best known for 'subverted expectations' home invasion horror, but those were the two aspects of it I ended up really liking. The premise is that a group of 20-somethings are stuck in an intergalactic mining town where the amount of missions they must fly hours they must work to gain an emigration permit is raised by a few years each time they reach their goal. Our protagonist, Rain, is told by a friend that he and his crew have discovered the wreck of the Nostromo floating above them and plan to break in and steal its cryochambers; the last thing they need for their own ship to make an escape into deep space. The crew welcomes her, but admit that what they really need is her adoptive brother Andy, an ill-liked synthetic who can access the Nostromo's controls. So far so good, I love this premise! It's a little YA dystopia, we've got a ragtag group of mining orphans that look like TikTok influencers and don't have personalities, but that's okay- acceptable and even expected for an Alien movie. I'm also not here to clutch pearls over the sanctity of the original; everything that follows plot-wise is good stuff! Reminiscent of video games, yes, but that means lots of clever little item pickups and interactions, and the tension-building is excellent. An early example: while collecting cryofuel half the team is trapped in a room full of slowly thawing, unseen facehuggers. The other half must retrieve a master-key computer chip from Ash's body (left over from the original mission) to pass to Andy, who is then stuck in reboot mode and unable to help until a critical moment, and this all filmed brilliantly with great effects. There are several standout scenes like it; the movie feels connected to the rest of franchise while contributing new ideas- playing with gravity and temperature and electricity as both weapons and stumbling blocks. It looks good, I like individual plot beats (including the contentious climax), I love the multiple dead rat puppets that are here for some reason, but this is also the only movie I've considered walking out of.

No one barring David Jonsson (Andy) can act, and chemistry is nonexistent. We're told that the crew is composed of friends, siblings, cousins, and love interests, but never actually see it, and no matter how good the plot and pacing are on paper that really makes things drag in places. I like the aliens and love the androids in these movies, but at the end of the day I've always ended up rooting for the humans because of the empathy on display. Many of the Aliens are objectively worse than Romulus from a filmmaking perspective, but this is the first one where I wanted the bad guys to win.

The main villain of this movie isn't the aliens, it's Ash. I was spoiled on CGI Deepfaked* Ian Holm going in, so when they boarded the Nostromo and saw his body I rolled my eyes and braced myself for a scene where he comes to life like a haunted house prop and then they kill him or whatever, but no, he sticks around and drives the entire plot. It's awful; I don't even hate this one from a writing perspective it just feels insanely disrespectful (and is distractingly bad to look at.)

3. The Green Mile is one of my most hated movies of all time. I revisited it early this year when the podcast Just King Things discussed the book within the context of Stephen King's larger body of work, which stresses the character of John Coffey not as an aberration but a trope King keeps coming back to: a black or disabled person who is a holy innocent. Physical prowess and/or magic powers are coupled with the disposition of a character like Of Mice and Men's Lennie or Flowers for Algernon's Charlie to create someone who looks scary but is actually worthy of love because, hey guys, he's nice and sympathetic in a way that appeals to an imagined white American audience. Months after listening to that episode I accidentally walked into an even broader literary context, discovering the character of Jean in E.E. Cummings's The Enormous Room (a nearly 1:1 blueprint for Coffey), and Pip in Moby-Dick, a child traumatized to a point of babbling incoherence that allows him to act as a holy conduit, a prophet, and a comfort to his captain. These characters aren't meant to be racist but rather to teach about antiblack racism, which makes for interesting reading, but a terrible Alien movie.

Andy is the only black character in this film. Andy is referred to as Rain's brother at most twice, then revealed to be her servant (literally programmed by her father to do two things- protect her and make dad jokes.) Andy is cognitively and physically disabled from being rebooted so many times over the years, and faces extra abuse and discrimination because of this. I cannot begin to describe how it felt to have spent the year bumping into saintly black characters in media who are dehumanized in order to teach some vague platitude about humanity, only to run into it again here. It gets worse and more muddled when Andy is rebooted using Ash's chip, which makes him "normal," which makes him evil. Ash uses him to further the interests of Weyland rather than his sister/master Rain and it makes him start saying scary inhuman stuff like 'the solution to the trolley problem is to kill as few people as possible.' (Again, go bad guys.)

I know the movie doesn't see itself as racist. Andy is by far the most interesting character and has a lot of complexity to him; Rain's whole arc is learning that no one should have seen him as expendable or treated him as an inferior, and tells him his new prime directive is to live for himself (as well as her. Can't leave that on the table.) Alverez clearly had the best of intentions, but the movie can't get away from the fact that Andy being cognitively impaired and using his strength and powers to the benefit of some random white girl, choosing family over work but also the individual over the collective, was actually what made him human.

Okay rant over. I liked the part where they threw a flair and the facehuggers scurried after it like a pack of dogs because they hunt by body heat and movement instead of by smell and vision. Yay :-)

*Holm was deepfaked 'respectfully' with the consent of his family using a combination of animatronic and a new actor... and the company literally responsible for deepfakes (https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-features/alien-romulus-ian-holm-rook-ash-ai-1235982350.) I cannot stress enough how bad this is to look at for almost 2 hours like i needed to talk about Andy but jesus christ.

[metanarrates]

you got that genre and gender essay for us 👀

i might talk about gender in the hunger games a different time but right now im ready to talk about genre in it (FINALLY. sorry gamers ive been in the sludge for a while)

so one of the things that really struck me about the hunger games while reading is that it did not function strictly as an action genre story during the games themselves. the genre it actually seemed to be dipping into a lot of the time is wilderness survival. this is weird, for a couple of reasons.

for anyone unfamiliar with the wilderness survival genre, the underlying conflict tends to be rather slow-movingly paced. this isn't always the case - some wilderness survival stories do have limitations that force the plot to speed up - but in the vast majority of works I've seen, the main force the main character is working against is the slow-moving course of nature. there is a lot of time spent hunting, crafting, building shelters, tending to injuries. occasionally there are bursts of action, but the story is much more concerned with the daily work of solving more longterm survival problems than it is with more temporary threats. it's typically a story about endurance rather than urgency.

now, I like the genre just fine. I would even say suzanne collins does it decently well. the problem is that it doesn't actually suit the premise of the hunger games.

the hunger games is, on premise, a death game. for at least the first two books, the main setpiece of the story is the promise of the arena. it is a televised match where children have to kill each other for the entertainment of a crowd. this isn't a crazy uncommon subgenre or even main genre for action stories - there's a lot of story potential in forcing combatants to battle to the death against their will. my favorite novel, omniscient reader's viewpoint, has death game elements. when done well, it is tense, exciting, and asks questions about the culpability of both viewer and participants. oftentimes, the story's major theme is forcing the audience think about the way they may treat violence as spectacle. this is certainly something the hunger games also wants to do.

this premise carries a lot of intrinsic tensions. in a story where people are hunting one another in order to survive, the protagonist almost always is under threat, or nearly under threat, of being attacked. the tension of potentially having to kill adds another layer of tension. the demands of audience, in a story about violence as spectacle, serves to add another layer. the protagonist always has to look over their shoulder, to make sure that their audience can't hurt them if they become dissatisfied with the protagonist, and to be sure that they can fend off attackers at any given moment. to do otherwise, at least without justifying it, would be to undermine the logical stakes the premise introduces.

the end result, when done well, is a fast-paced action story with consistently heightened tension. you'll notice that this doesn't blend well with a slow-paced genre with a consistently low but omnipresent baseline tension.

through both games, again to collins' credit, there are a lot of high-tension action sequences. katniss does spend a good deal of time fighting, running, tensely hiding out, and dealing with high-octane environmental factors. however, I was consistently a little disappointed by how quickly a lot of these sequences ended. more importantly, I was confused by how often it would lead back into katniss skirting around the woods. she spends a ton of time fishing, hunting, chatting with allied tributes, scouting, and waiting around in a cave for peetas injuries to heal. the threat of the other tributes finding and killing her slips into the background. the audience in the capitol only matters occasionally. the minuitiae of surviving in a wilderness takes up major screentime. the threats intrinsic to the actiony premise stop being an immediate concern.

this inability to follow through on the established stakes totally kills my suspension of disbelief in the gamemakers as threats. very few people would be actually interested in continuously watching days-long, unedited livestreams of teenagers hunting and fishing and occasionally kissing. it doesn't make sense as a story about entertainment, because the events on screen would simply not be logically all that entertaining. the only reason the gamemakers don't act to force katniss towards more action is that collins plainly does not seem as interested in writing action. and that's really the root of the first two books' weird genre problem.

since collins seems to want to focus on wilderness survival rather than action, neither genre can properly shine. as a reader, i'm always feeling antsy whenever katniss takes a break to nap for a day, and I'm always frustrated whenever an an action scene is cut short instead of staying excitingly tense. the action stakes never feel believable to me because it seems like they only exist when the plot remembers they should. the survival stakes just feel like a tiresome chore in a story that should have much more urgent concerns. it's just a really weird choice. why write a death game story if you're often disinterested in the stuff the premise demands?

I also don't think that the rebellion/war story is done well in book 3, for similar pacing and tension issues (that book DRAGS in ways that actively undermine what it seems to be trying to do.) but this little essay has run on long enough. this has been a really longwinded way of saying "these books struggle a lot with tension and pacing and it makes them feel weird in how they play to their supposed premises," but I did want to approach it from a genre angle because that's what I was thinking about while reading. what is genre, after all, but a shorthand to communicate expected aspects of setting, focus, mechanical structure of a story?

[theresattrpgforthat]

Mint Plays Games: Household

March saw the beginning of a new multi-session series with my home group, and this time we're hopping through a number of different dimensions, using the Planedawn Orphans campaign toolkit. The basic premise is that the characters are hopping into the lives of people inside various worlds, looking for items or relics that they can use to build a brand-new world, a place where all of them can start over. Our first world visited was Household!

Household is a roleplaying game by Two Little Mice, about tiny fae folk going on big adventures in an old, abandoned house. Players choose from four different kinds of folk and five different Professions to determine their faerie gifts and their personal strengths. The game consists of rolling a number of d6s in the hopes of getting pairs, three of a kind, or, if you're lucky, four matching numbers.

We had two different investigations, one looking out for a missing noble's son, and the other trying to figure out where a missing prize bumblebee had gone. Household chosen to represent the "Air" element from the checklist in Planedawn Orphans, so we decided that the relic that made the most sense for this setting was "A Pair of Perfect Wings".

We had two different groups of adventurers, both of them given advice to blend in to whatever events were going on around them when they showed up in the other world. Since some of the players signed up for Household, but not the for the inter-dimensional travel, we decided that their characters would be permanent fixtures of the world, new friends and companions that the Orphans made along the way.

I find the setting for Household to be very charming, and the art certainly helps you visualize all of the different places and main characters. I think the set-up of the game is very good for folks who want a lot of help coming up with adventures, because Household is written as a history that has already happened; the events of the book will come to pass unless the player characters decide to do something about them.

The rules themselves are easy to learn, but this might be a downside for folks who like complex character builds with a lot of pieces that can be tweaked. Your character is pretty simple in Household, and while you'll improve as you gain experience, I don't see a lot of big changes happening over the course of play. Then again, we only played a couple of sessions, so I might be putting the cart before the horse.

Household absolutely delivers on the atmosphere it promises, but based on our limited run of it, I think the world outshines the rules. We're looking at playing another game in the same rule-system down the road, and I'm interested to see what changes have been made, and whether or not they give me more cool things to do. I'd be happy to revisit the House in the future, but I'd also love to run some other rules-systems inside the setting!

[samarecharm]

geniunely not trying to put words in ur mouth im geniunely asking: what do you actually like about persona 5? from all ur rants im just wondering why you didnt drop the game bc it seems (again, im not trying to put words in ur mouth) that it simply not for you? i geniunely have not felt any of the issues you bring up outside of the writing ones and i cannot tell if i'm just easily pleased and not good at discerning what a good game is or we simply have dif things we enjoy in a video game. i hate getting tone across text but im asking out of geniune curiosity im not trying to attack your opinion (;-;)

Nah, i dont feel like ur attacking me, and I hope u dont feel the same when u see my complaints! Lmao. In my defense, I am replaying the game for the first time after completing my first file back in 2020, so alot of the faults i kinda shrugged off in my first playthrough are now glaringly in my face now that I no longer have the confusion and interest in learning the main story to keep me occupied. The game is clunky all the way through, and at some times, even frustratingly so.

But despite that, i do like this game. Alot! Its probably one of my top games ever if im being honest!

This ended up way longer than I intended, so im putting it under a readmore to keep the post short on dashboards

If i had to describe what I liked about the game in the simplest way imaginable…I think I would say, I like how the game makes me feel :) I like the music. I like the vibe. I like the immersion from city to city, and I like the premise! I like the characters and I like the connections you make with these characters! As im replaying this game, i am most excited to see Akira and his comments about the world :) i like hearing everyones voices, I like their little interactions in Mementos, and I like seeing them fight!

P5 is the first game I played in the series; its the game that introduced me to SMT in the first place! And it (smt) is a series that my longtime best friend LOVES and never thought hed be able to share with me! It is a game i keep very near to my heart; it has influenced me in ways i did not think would happen in the short couple of years since i first finished it. It genuinely keeps me awake some nights thinking about the world this game has created, and I think that is a testament to the impact its had, be it good or bad.

The joke about wishing theyd make a persona game that was Good is that despite all of its numerous flaws, the games manage to snatch your attention and pull you in anyway. Imagine if they made a game that had all of those things that i mentioned I loved, but done Right and executed Properly?? Where I got to have a story that made sense and didnt need to be spoonfed to me (in like an HOUR of dialogue and scenes; an HOUR!), and characters that talked and bonded beyond the tiny snippets of interaction theyre allowed to have in mementos? Combat that let me use PERSONAS i liked instead of BUILDS that stop me from getting instakilled throughout the entirety of the endgame, and a Persona building mechanic that didnt feel like I was shooting in the dark looking for possible fusions that end up not even being useful in the endgame.

Ive mentioned it before, but I complain so much bc I have seen what a good p5 game looks like, and its Strikers almost to a T. Combat is still your typical warriors-esque style combat, but it is at least different from the turn based strategy of the main game. Characters talk to each other freely, they hang out and comfort each other in a way that feels more connected that the base game. Strikers implements the ability to see ALL possible fusions with ALL registered personas, not just the ones in your Stock, so you can fuse easily without having yo consult a guide. The story feels like it makes SENSE with antagonists that feel morally grey and sympathetic. Genuinely, alot of the complaints for p5 I had were almost immediately rectified in this game.

But please also know that the praises I sing for this game is only bc of the groundwork laid by p5 and the world it created. Thats what I like about this game, that it had such a captivating premise and cast of characters, that a DIFFERENT company was able to hit the ground running with them. P5 had alot happening in that game, but i think what it had most was potential. The effort put into this game is astronomical, and the possible connections you can outright MISS if u arent paying attention was worth the money and time to implement; even if it meant that it could be considered a waste of resources to higher ups.

Books and games and part time jobs???!! Silly little cutscenes that add nothing to the game PLOTwise, but define and flesh out the personality of your protagonist. There was alot of love put into this game, and its evident by the fact that we have NOT seen a new persona game released; they bank on existing titles bc they are unwilling to make a game like this from scratch again. They dont want to ‘waste’ resources on good voice acting and a complex, overarching story; they dont want to waste money on scenes a player may never see, on routes a player may never get to experience. Making a game that gives u even the slightest bit of freedom means more money in programming and detailing that freedom. This has been an issue for a WHILE, and its a miracle that the gaming landscape had space for a colossal title like p5!

I complain bc I want better, and I do not think that is inherently at odds with my love of this game. In b4 im told to get good; ive played on hard and tested out merciless (its NOT fun, im making godbuilds again and its boring 😞). Its not the most accessible turnbased rpg; theres no colorblind modes, and the affinity system is convoluted and overwhelming. Combo moves are hard to keep track of and it can be incredibly frustrating to see your turns being skipped or seeing characters take extreme technical damage without understanding WHY it happened. The fact that they KNEW the game was desperate for qol improvements by the time royal came out, and instead of updating the base game to have those improvements too, they just pushed the royal edition out for people to play instead. It sucks! Customers and fans deserve better than being forced to shell out money for a game they already played !

As the gaming climate gets more and more hostile and unbearable, I think it is good to look at your games critically, and understand why products come out subpar. Persona 5 is a fun game that has a nice cast and an interesting premise, but it is ultimately tied down by its refusal to build on existing building blocks regarding its combat, and it insists on having insulting and downright out of character dialogue and scenes to appease the audience its designed to be targeted to. It is easy to forget sometimes that queer ppl are infact NOT the prime target of these games, its cishet gamer bros from aged 16 to 40 who will laugh at homophobic comments, who drool over a 16 yr old girl with a 16 yr old mindset and a grown womans body, who need to be placated with constant sexual comments to deal with a convoluted story that will inevitably make zero sense until its laid out for you before the literal end of the game.

Its bad. Its good. Its so shallow and its unbelievable that they thought having the plot twist make ZERO sense until they showed CUTSCENES of YOUR character discussing Goro and his connections to the metaverse for endgame SHOCK VALUE was more important than just having your team be smart and piece it together over time. Its shit. Its literally amazing. It let you FUCK your teacher ??????????????what the FUCK. They also let me shoot a god in the face w the best looking ult persona in the world so i can ignore that shit. And ultimately that is how i got through the game. Lol.

[chlorine-and-daisies]

good omens fics i enjoyed this week!

for further discussion, see Crowley & Fell (2024) (T) by @twosoulsinonehome- Aziraphale teaches English Literature at Cambridge and Crowley teaches History of Religions at NYU. This was so fluffy and funny and their voices shone through, especially in the emails. Keep the work skin on- the author made perfect use of the format, with funny subjects, signatures, and everything. It's not just the main couple- Muriel, Maggie, and Nina are great in this one too. I loved seeing the progression of Aziraphale and Crowley's relationship over time, from drunk emails to vows. As I'm in a long distance relationship with my own precious demon partner I had a particular soft spot for this one :)

Artist's Rendition (T) by @bingothedingo666- After Armageddon't, Adam restores Aziraphale's shop with a few extra books...including a children's Bible with an interesting drawing of the Serpent of Eden. This is silly and sweet, with great footnotes. The drawing itself made me laugh and I thank the author for writing this and sharing it with me. I loved the dialogue and jokes and Aziraphale's sheer fondness for any depiction of Crowley and his soft side, but also the subtle hints that Crowley's not fully comfortable or familiar with religion being portrayed in an innocent/childish way (Smiting builds character). One can only speculate as to why that is (the Fall, the Flood, Job...)

and finally Every Part of Me (T) by @foolishlovers from this past February! This one's probably the most unique fic I've recommended yet- it's a Hannah Montana AU! I thought it was super interesting how the author used the popstar alter ego as a way to explore Crowley's genderfluidity, and Aziraphale was funny in this one. I do love clothes so of course I enjoyed the outfit descriptions. While I was one of those kids with strict parents who was never allowed to watch the Disney channel, I still liked this a lot, and if you grew up with the show you'll appreciate the song references.

Yes, there are fewer recs this week- partially because some of the stories I've been following this week are ongoing and I'm planning to recommend them later when they're finished, and partially because I was busy working on my own post s2 Crowley character study, sleight of hand (T) (ohoho, you thought I would give the self promotion a rest?) I'd love it if you added more recs in the comments/reblogs, including your own self-promotion.

Hope you're enjoying these weekly posts- this fandom can be so huge and intimidating sometimes so I really want to showcase new work :) All three of this week's picks had really unique premises and I'd encourage everyone to take them as inspiration to write your own special fics. Best of luck to all you authors- keep on sharing all those stories only you can tell!

[sorbet-and-gelato]

Talking a lot about my AITSF fan project!!!

As you may know, I really, really like Pewter. He doesn't get a lot of time so I really want to see things from his perspective. I like him so much, in fact, that I've made a whole project about him!

To preface: 1) It's still a huge work in progress, there's a few characters that haven't been named or designed and a ton of plot details to still be worked out

2) I'm not planning to make it anything concrete, like a comic or a fic. Maybe one day...

That being said, I wanted to share it! AITSF has become a huge interest of mine, and I know I have some AITSF followers now... So I want to share what I've been doing, and maybe get some talk going!

As of now it doesn't have a real title, but I've been calling it Pewtergame. The premise is a hypothetical prequel game all about him! (Though, moreso focused on just the story then how it'd function as a game. Hard to figure out how to fill in gaps without AI-balls and the like, let alone if there'll even be multiple routes.)

These are all the characters I've designed for it so far! This is going to be a long post, so I'll go into the actual story and character details under cut. (There are mentions of murder, but nothing graphic and nothing worse than AITSF itself.)

Plot overview so far!

The story is split into two segments: Past (2013) and Present (2018).

Past focuses on the trialling of the newly made Psync Machine, and the very first psync... And what goes wrong as a result. Alongside that, the case ABIS is investigating begins to escalate more and more.

Present takes place 5 years later. Pewter is enjoying his everyday life... Until a sudden murder pulls him into another perplexing case.

The main themes I'm focusing on as of now are love, and creation - specifically, creators and their relationship to what they make.

I'll explain the cast more indepth after this, but the story so far goes something like this:

Past

Pewter and Boss are tasked with using the newly made Psync machine to investigate a theft. Pewter's old friend from school (TBN) volunteers to psync with the prime suspect, Kurogane. They discover an unintended feature of the psync machine, that it can swaps consciousnesses. Kurogane escapes in the psyncer's body, and the psyncer is left behind in hers.

Pewter, feeling guilty about his friend's situation, involves himself directly in the investigation. As he investigates, his younger sister Makane meets with him. She introduces him to her good friend Tomoru Kouseki.

Later, someone from the investigation team lets Pewter know Makane was spotted lurking around an important location (TBD). He gets a bad feeling and goes to see what his sister is up to. He finds her crouched over Tomorou's body.

She's brought in for questioning, but won't answer anything she's asked. Pewter goes and sees her, and asks to psync with her since she's struggling to talk. She agrees. Pewter psyncs with her himself to make her more comfortable, as well as wanting to make sure nothing goes wrong on his end.

Her somnium reveals that she's completely innocent, as Pewter thought. After this point, I don't have much else fleshed out.

They find Kurogane and return her mind to her body. She's arrested on suspicion of both the theft and murder, and the case is quickly swept under the rug to hide the truth about the Psync Machine. Pewter has misgivings.

Present (I have a lot less figured out here)

Pewter enjoys some peace. He checks in with his friend and Makane. Later, he goes to see Renju for their anniversary. He gifts his lover the wristwatch.

A couple of weeks later, Renju is working late at Lemniscate. On his way out, he spots the silhouette of... Someone against the side of the building. He discovers the body of a woman. So starts the next case.

Hearing Renju is involved, Pewter immediately goes to see him. He asks some questions, but is more concerned with finding out how Renju is doing

I have barely any other specific plot events laid out, so most of the details from will be in the character section below this.

Eventually, the true culprit behind both Past and Present is revealed. Gin Shiratsuki manipulated his "friend" Kurogane, and had her take the fall for him.

And of course, after everything's resolved, there's a nice epilogue and a dance number led by Seiko.

Cast

Pewter - Past & Present

- 30 in Past, 35 in Present

- The man himself! Everything is from his perspective.

- There's a lot of focus on his relationships to the people he loves, as well as his relationship to his inventions (mainly the Psync Machine).

- I imagine there'd also be a lot of fun details! Like how he got involved in ABIS in the first place, what he gets up to outside of work, some of his personal insight into his creations, all that stuff that doesn't come up in AITSF. While I haven't come up with all that just yet, I hope I can include it in the bigger picture.

Boss - Past & Present

- 35 in Past, 40 in Present

- She has a similar role to AITSF, but she's more involved here.

- She has a lot of interaction with Pewter, and their relationship gets more focus. I think she's the reason he's part of ABIS in the first place, so that has some bearing on their relationship.

Mama - Most of what I have planned for her is for Present, but she'll probably appear in Past too

- 29 in Past, 34 in Present (Probably)

- Her role is the same as AITSF, acting as an informant. She and Pewter do have some good conversations, some about general events, some about Renju in particular.

Araya Kagami - Past & Present - He's there!

Renju Okiura - Present

- 35/36 in Present (haven't 100% decided when this takes place)

- Renju is a lot of things, but the most relevant here is Pewter's lover. Their relationship gets a lot of focus!

- His discovery of the second victim's body is what initially draws Pewter into the 2018 case.

- I don't have a lot worked out for him yet but I want to make him important! Also want to have some focus on him as an individual, go into some things AITSF didn't touch on.

The first psyncer (TBN) - Past & Present

- 30 in Past, 35 in present

- A good friend of Pewter's from school that he's stayed in touch with. She's a very kindhearted woman and is always eager to help people. Intrigued by Pewter's call, she offers to become the first psyncer.

- Despite being very rattled by the body swap, she still does her best to help where she can.

- In Present, she returns to take on the case as the main psyncer.

Makane Amanoma - Past & Present

- 24 in Past, 29 in Present

- Pewter's younger sister. Pewter nicknamed her "Kane".

- She's a pretty easygoing person, notably more outgoing and outspoken than her brother. She doesn't like sitting around doing nothing, and is very confident in herself. Teasing Pewter is a favourite past time of hers.

- Although she enjoys being a menace to her older brother, she does genuinely care about him. She trusts him more than anything, and they get along really well. After finding Tomorou's body, he was the only one who could get her to finally open up about what happened.

Numea Kurogane - Mostly Past, but makes appearances in Present too

- 36 in Past, 41 in Present

- A cold fashion model and designer who seems to hold her work above all else. She has a tendency to avoid people or push them away if they interfere with her time to work on her projects.

- She feels that no one understands her work, and she looks down on those who question her rather than inviting them to learn. She believes Gin is the only one who understands her.

- Gin is the only person she sees as a friend. She clings to that connection, and that's used to take advantage of her.

- She hates Pewter's guts and his outfit.

Tomorou Kouseki - Past

- 24 in Past

- A good friend of Makane

- Tomorou is a very friendly, very sweet guy who makes a living as a professional photographer. He's just a great guy to be around, really good company. Makane gets him to take a photo of her and Pewter together when she introduces him to her brother.

- I'm still working out the exact details, but he got a photo of something that pointed to Gin being the culprit. He lost his camera, and Gin held off acting because he hoped that'd be enough to stop Tomorou. But Makane found it and returned it to him. Gin decided something had to be done before he turned in the evidence.

- Just to be sure, Tomorou decided to follow up what he found at the (TBD) important location. He let Makane know he was gonna leave for a while. He never came back, so Makane went looking for him... And discovered the body.

- He's the first victim, murdered by Gin to make absolute sure he stayed silent.

TBN A - Mostly past, makes a small appearance in present

- Still deciding on his occupation (some kind of manual labour?) but he does creative writing as a hobby.

- I don't have a ton worked out for this guy yet, but he's a friend of another TBN character who appears in present. A steady, grounded guy with a straightforward perspective. He simply does what he thinks is right, no question about it.

- He has some sort of connection to the 2013 case.

- Pewter finds him very handsome.

TBN B - Present

- A painter who's always trying to find inspiration. In Present, he's struggling with art block.

- He's a pretty laidback guy who doesn't seem to have a lot of cares. While it's partially true, he's repressed a lot of real dark feelings.

- He was friends with TBN A in past, but a (TBD) event pushed them apart. He dealt with it by pushing TBN A away out of shame and fear, deciding to simply pretend the incident never happened.

- After he's psynced with, ABIS learns of his old friendship. Pewter approaches him and talks to him about it. He finally opens up, and makes an effort to reconcile with his old friend.

- Again, still working things out, but his connection with TBN A helps reveal the connection between the 2013 and 2018 cases.

Here's the concept sketches, B on the left and A on the right.

Seiko Kotetsu - Present - 18 in Present - A spunky, outgoing newbie idol who works for Lemniscate. Renju is giving her a hand putting herself out there. Pewter meets her while looking for him at Lemniscate. (She cluelessly tries to introduce him to his own boyfriend. Then calls him an old man.) - She's very passionate about her music, and a little desperate for it to be heard. She craves the attention and praise, something to prove she's on the right path. Alongside that, she's insecure about what she makes, especially if she doesn't get it perfect right away. - Her mother, Ukana, passed away in a car accident 6 years before Present. Ukana was a composer who was very passionate about her craft and her family. She taught Seiko everything she knew about music. Because of everything, Seiko believes Ukana lives on in the music she makes. She wants her music to be heard not only for herself, but so that her mother can live on in it. - She ends up spending time with Pewter, and takes a liking to him. She can tell Renju trusts him, though she doesn't fully get why. She doesn't really care though, as long as Pewter's not causing trouble.

Taichi Kotetsu - Present - 48 in Present - The husband of Ukana and father of Seiko. - A humble, mild-mannered jeweller. He wants nothing more than to support his daughter. He's her biggest fan, listens to all her music, and tries to help with whatever she needs. - He worries that Seiko is pushing herself too hard and wonders if the idol life is really what's best for her. But he's afraid of bringing her down, especially after she endured such a terrible time losing her mother. - He shares the grief of losing Ukana with Seiko. He knows he can never make up for the place she left in their lives, but he wants to do everything in his power to see Seiko smile. - He knew the second victim (still unsure how exactly). She bought a necklace from him, which was found at the scene. Pewter took it after Kagami confirmed it belonged to the victim, and Seiko saw it and identified it as her father's work. - He knows something, but I'm unsure as to what.

The Second Victim (TBN) - Present

- I have nothing worked out her yet asides from her formerly being a friend of Gin, and her having gold motifs.

- Pewter doesn't meet her personally, but she's talked about and learnt about that way.

Gin Shiratsuki - Past & Present

- 30 in Past, 35 in Present - The true culprit of Past and Present. On the surface, he's calm and friendly enough. He even comes off similar to Pewter. However, it's all surface level. It's very easy to set him off. - Much like Pewter, he takes great pride in his achievements and creations. However, he thinks that he deserves all the praise and recognition, and that anyone who's better than him is a threat. He thinks his way is the only way. - He drove away or cut off a lot of his friends because of that, leaving only Kurogane. He feels a genuine like for her, but he doesn't think using her in the way he does is really bad. - Figuring out the specifics still, but he was involved with the Wadjet System. (Maybe as a programmer?) He felt that his contributions were overlooked (whether they actually were is questionable) and grew bitter towards his co-workers. - He learnt about Pewter and the Psync Machine through Kurogane, and he hates Pewter for it. He acknowledges how talented Pewter is, and he sees that as a threat. His grudge only grows more personal as Pewter interferes with his plans. It turns into a something akin to a parasocial relationship, though it's more of a rivalry. - He calls Pewter by his nickname despite not knowing him personally (Kurogane mentioned it to him). He's not doing it to be friendly, but rather attempting to reduce Pewter to the name associated with his ABIS work. Pewter doesn't know why Gin is calling him that, but he finds it really unnerving coming from a stranger speaking with spite.

- I have all that, but I'm still working out the exact details of Gin's motives and crimes. Concept for Gin:

I did consider having Date involved but 1) it's hard to fit him in a way that doesn't sidetrack the story and 2) it's heavily tied in with the Psync Machine, and he is not allowed to know that! I did want to explore Pewter's relationship with Aiba, but perhaps that can be for something else.

The main things I'm working out are the exact details of the crimes, and how all the individual pieces fit together. I also want to make the cast more interconnected. Making something near as elaborate as AITSF takes a lot of work!

Okay, that was a lot...! But that's about the extent of what I have going on! Of course there are some other details, but this post is long enough. Maybe I'll post some of my other art for it. For now, I hope this was interesting! I am very very open to talking about what I have going, I'm very eager to share!

[variousqueerthings]

Should I watch spartacus? I've tried a few times but always lapse after a few eps bc the characters didn't really connect for me

listen, I don't usually rec spartacus to people, because it's - quite frankly - not for everyone. the language is crass, there's a ton of toxic masculinity, a whole bunch of graphic violence of (most) kinds, and it's got this super stylised environment building to it that can be hard for people to get used to

that being said I've seen it three times now and it makes me very emotional each time. so, if you're thinking of giving it another whirl, here's what I will say:

it definitely does take a little bit to get into the characters beyond the hur-dur big muscle men who all hate each other and make comments about who has the biggest dick (and like, this never totally goes away, but it's filtered through a different lens as the story goes along and the characters do start caring for one another) and here's more tits and undulating oiled women (I must stress though that everyone is oiled up and naked in this show, it's equality), but once you get into the meat of the story, I'd say rouuughly halfway-ish through s1, they really really start growing on you, like fungus. fungi -- especially crixus and agron (whom you may not have reached depending on where you stopped), I'd say for me especially crixus, who is always annoying to me for a fair bit in s1 and then you realise what sort of a character he is and where his arc is going and you're like ohhh ok. ok ok, got it, and there's a scene in the... second last episode of s1 I think where he is sobbing and unable to hold the woman he loves (naevia) as she's dragged away from him and they swear to see one another again... well, let's just say it made me feel things

the political drama of the show is *chefs kiss* it just builds and builds and builds across the whole show, with the second season being a prequel that adds context (it was made out of necessity -- the main actor was very sick, but it also adds to the story, both in terms of backstory and a new important character)

speaking of story -- some of my favourite pacing of all time! it sets up some premises and it continuously moves towards fulfilling those narrative arcs, it is a Very Satisfying Show Pacing-wise

some gay people in this show do die, because a lot of people on this show die (some very sad stuff happens to... well, everyone), but also this is a "the main gays are immortal" show, in which a beautiful m/m couple just fuckn. Cannot Die (they survive some stuff lemme tell you) and it was the first show I really saw that sentiment in

there are some very cool women in this show -- I think there should have been even more and it definitely is male-skewed, but the women on this show have their own really neat arcs and skill-sets, and it manages to not do the misstep of "the only women worth anything are the ones who aren't traditionally feminine/can fight and the rest are lesser," (with characters like diona, sybil, seppia and many minor characters mattering to the plot) while also giving us some gorgeous fighty-anger ladies (naevia, saxa), pragmatic leadership women (mira, laeta, gaia), a whole bunch who fit into difficult-to-categorise spaces (kore, aurelia, melitta) and ofc evil and scheme-y (lucretia, ilythia). I think for the most part the show is also very good at navigating ideas around power and womanhood, with characters like lucretia being both oppressor (owns slaves, can order crixus to have sex with her, is callus towards their humanity), while also at times suffering from lack of power, because she is only as worthwhile as who she is married to (same goes for ilythia and other roman women, and there's an interesting arc in s4 about how easily citizenship/personhood can be entirely stripped from you)

there's a very beautiful ethos beneath it all -- yes beneath all the hyper-violence and graphic sex and horrible dehumanisation (this is a show in which many of the main characters are slaves after all) it's got a strong core about protecting those who cannot protect themselves and it mourns the deaths of innocents (pietros, diona, aurelia, kore, etc)/isn't just about the Fighter Types, it's about fighting to overthrow systems even when it seems hopeless in order to build a better future, about loyalty, about community, about building cross-cultural bridges, about beautiful oiled up peo- wait hold on...

I think -- vs some other shows that I could mention - GoT - that's what's so strong about it. it has an arc, it has a point to it, and it like. wants to give its characters purpose, narratively

there's a couple of missteps, and I think part of that is the time the show was written in, but considering it's 2010 + its main actor died after s1 unfortunately it's miles ahead of many of its peers and most shows that came out in the 2010s that I'd argue tried to catch some of its rizz. flair. pizzazz

I think the right state of mind to go into it with is:

obvs ask yourself first if the sheer amount of sex and violence onscreen is a dealbreaker. you can also ask me what kind of violence if you want to prepare, because for me it was the not-knowing that was stressful the first time around, the next times I could step away during a few scenes that were too much for me, but on the whole was okay

we good on sex and violence? ok then, next step is: the language is gonna be super idiosyncratic. a mix of giving old (?) grammar (the word "the" no longer exists for the most part), kiwi accents (this was filmed in aotearoa/new zealand), names you're not used to hearing, and swearing in every sentence. let that seep into your bones, it becomes very fun after awhile (or it did for me)

give yourself a little shake and then go: "this is a Very Cool Show. not as a negative, it genuinely is Very Cool. other shows wish they were this Cool. it'll take half a second to immerse myself in just how Cool everything is, but once I'm used to it, it'll be awe-striking music, amazing stunt/fight-work in nearly every episode, beautiful -- and I mean beautiful -- character relationship arcs, and a vibe that's giving Mythological the whole way through," my friend it is unreal how Cool this show is, the pay-offs for its various setups make me punch the air when I get to them, every time, and by the final season you're screaming for the Roman Empire to fall beneath the heels of these beautiful oily people, while a majestic choir soars in the background

believe that the final episode of this show is gonna be so worth it -- not because it was a slog to get there, but because we're all so used to being let down in the final hour, but the ending of spartacus? chef's kiss. made me cry the last two times, which is why I'm putting it off this time.

in conclusion: this is not a show for everyone. it's definitely giving sexy boobs angry men at times. it is also a show with a quite similar set of ideas to things like black sails and sense8, which is what is so good about it. it's about how people matter and deserve humanity and it's very cathartic for me in this current day and age to watch these characters navigate the ideas of what a "revolution" looks like. it's a tragedy though, although there's joy along the way, and this is one of those stories where it was worth the trying no matter the cost

it's like. a good story. so many sexy bosom shots though (I mean, this may be the opposite of a deal-breaker now I write it out). but you've gotta gaze through the bosoms to see the plot. or something. yeah that makes sense

I've got a more detailed draft post of all my pros and cons of the show that I'll put out as well -- that was is full of spoilers that may be somewhat incomprehensible if one hasn't watched the show, but hey. it's out there

[ndplatypus]

My issue with “Helluva Boss”

Yes the humor relies a lot on vulgarity, sex, drugs, and a lot of cussing. Not my cup of tea but it’s not my issue with the series. I genuinely use to love this show, but recent episodes and a rewatch have me very disillusioned with the series. I’m gonna talk about why here.

At first glance, especially in season 1, it’s pretty good. A lot of decent set ups and the chance at world building. The basic premise is interesting and the characters are fun. It genuinely has a good foundation and the potential to be GOOD. It’s why I’m so upset with it now.

To start off, the writing is weak. Nothing that is set up is ever paid off. The main premise we were set up, a small business started by a lower class character of sneaking off to earth from hell to commit assassination jobs. It’s a fun premise! Again a LOT of potential. It’s implied heavily in the show that imps are lower class, usually servants or country hick folk. And higher class and stronger demons look down on them. It’s said by another imp in the show it’s impress and rare for an imp to have his own business!!!

But it teeters off and looses focus of this by heavily focusing on shipping. (Not saying you can’t mix comedy, romance, and drama in one series, but the show doesn’t do this well) It falls off in a way the show star vs the forces of evil did when the show started focusing less on the more interesting concepts (the racism and classism between mewmins and monsters) and started heavily focus on shipping, switch Tom, Star, Kelly and Marco and others) HB does exactly this. Throwing away other concepts and stories they made the show more interesting just to focus on shipping Stolas and Blitzo.

Another issue I have is how the main couple is portrayed. A ship including a very privileged rich upper class prince character and a lower class character whose race is implied in the show to be seen as less than. Classism and racism is not a good dynamic to start with, but with good writing and some sensitivity can be done right.

But again, it isn’t written well. To make the ship look better it’s almost essentially get written between season 1 and 2 and shifts almost all the blame for the problems in the relationship onto the LOWER CLASS CHARACTER WHO FACES RACISM AND FETISHIZATION FROM HIS RICH PRINCE ROMANCE INTEREST.

This mixed with the very questionable sexual coercion and potential sa issues that are involved in their relationship- it’s very uncomfortable. Not saying a ship isn’t allowed to be toxic. I find toxic characters fascinating tbh, but there is a art to writing them-

As in you have to acknowledge your characters are toxic and have your audience see the characters acknowledge this and try to change and do the work to be better. If both Stolas and Blitzo were written to acknowledge both have sone faults in the relationship and both are hurting each other in different ways and tried to work on themselves it could still be good! HB does not do this. It sets up a couple that on both sides is very toxic but only treats one side as so. The one who in reality based on past writing the show no longer acknowledges, is the bigger victim in the relationship!!!

They completely recontextualize the characters by essentially retconning how they got together, starting season two they take what’s potentially a good pairing of toxic characters who can grow and heal together to just trying to victimize one and make the other the “bad” one. Yea both are toxic but to now make Blitzo the main problem in the relationship and Stolas as the victim of just loving someone who doesn’t treat him write- it’s not good writing. It’s honestly gross.

Stop setting up issues like classism, racism, fetishization, in your show, in your ship, if you don’t actually want to acknowledge it. Stop writing serious real life issues into your stories if you can’t properly handle them. You can’t just pretend now those issues aren’t there in season 2 after establishing these issues in season 1. You can’t retcon this shit between seasons. Have the balls to acknowledge how you write your characters to be shitty people and make them work to be better. Not just pretend they are better without any work being put in!!!

And I could go on how all the gay characters seem grossly fetishized and fit into basic stereotypical top/bottom roles. Soft uwu bottom who goes no wrong and strong and big bad top. Yes some gay men have preferences but being so focused on top and bottom dynamics is weird.

The writing of the female characters is gross as well (the creator will say HB is the boy show and HH will be the girl show but it’s an excuse for cheap writing) all the girl characters are props and get no character or growth of their own. They all exist to prop up the boys. To help further along their development and stories while getting none of their own. The female antagonist in the stories are essentially one dimensional with her personality of “bitch.” And only exist again to be against the boys. The girls in the show are constantly demeaned and talked down to by male characters and treated like “stupid bitches” and this is all okay and funny. But when a female character says something bad about the male characters they are wrong and antagonist and will get a rock dropped on them for laughs at the end of the episode, because the show itself treats the males with depth and forgiveness (because trauma) but the girls are lazy evil caricatures who must get beat down in the end because clearly they are wrong and bad, even though it’s funny when male characters do the exact same shit. Some serious misogyny here.

Also another writing issue is.. it feels a lot like trauma porn. Every main (male) character has to have some deep trauma all somehow about a dead/missing mom and abusive dad (all three main make leads have a variation of this same trauma)

Not every character needs a traumatic back story. Not every trauma has to be death and murder and abusive dads. If you have to have your characters be traumatized to make them interesting or explain away their shitty behavior this is just bad and lazy writing.

It doesn’t feel like she’s trying to tell a story here at this point. Season two ends up feeling like fetish and trauma porn and half baked single dimensional characters that exist solely to sexualize and traumatize.

I hate to be this angry and critical of an indie show but even without all the drama around Viv and the treatment her workers the show itself has simply become a toxic poorly written mess of tropes and stereotypes that are simply meant to sell a product not tell a real story.

I wanted to like this show, and I genuinely use to. But after this new season and a rewatch I simply can’t enjoy it anymore. Anything this series had going for it is now trashed. It’s a shame to see.

Again I use to genuinely love this show. My anger with it comes from seeing it fall so far from the potential it had. But maybe that’s on me.

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

someone on twitter posted this chart that showed the average ratings for the inside no 9 episodes and i was FLABBERGASTED by the results of it... and like i didn't think my opinions on the eps were particularly Hot Takes but... now i'm not sure lol...

anyway prepare for a (very VERY long... i wrote over 4700 words what is WRONG with me lol?!?!) ranking list that no one asked for and no one wants lol

firstly check out the post i was talking about here (and potentially be equally as shocked at the results as i was lol)

ok so i will preface by saying i have seen most of the episodes twice, but some only the once atm... also, i kinda haphazardly put this list together so it's potentially subject to change lol

final thing is that i dont thing any of the episodes are BAD, even my least favourite are still good bits of telly, but ultimately i liked them less for whatever reason (which i'll go into because i love to ramble)...

i'll try not to do any spoilers in case anyone's reading this (lol) and hasn't seen the series (double lol)

also also we're going from my least to my most favourite because that builds suspense soooo.... here we go!

55) 1.4 Last Gasp

ok so i've not just put this one last because reece isn't in it lol (though that is part of the reason(ha) lmao). though i found the premise of this episode interesting, i think ultimately the characters and direction of the story felt a lot like something you would see in a sorta run-of-the-mill sitcom... which isn't necessarily a bad thing, just not really what i personally look for in an in9 ep lol...

54) 2.5 Nana's Party

another with a similar sorta vibe to the previous one, this is just slightly higher because i enjoyed the characters a bit more here lol... i think the 'twist' of this one was a little bit lame, though, if i'm being totally honest lol...

53) 5.3 Love's Great Adventure

i appreciated what this one was going for, and i think it built up the characters with each new day in a really believable way, but mostly i just found it Okay and not super memorable... i will say that i wish i could put this higher because the kid in this was genuinely adorable & his interactions with everyone were so sweet lol

52) 1.6 The Harrowing

a slightly disappointing episode for me, especially when the set up was SO good... and yes it was DEFINITELY let down by steve not being in it lol! i totally get why they wanted to try some eps without the both of them, but yeh it really felt like it was missing something for me...

the end was alright, but i kinda wish they'd gone further with it? i did enjoy the characters though and ofc helen mccrory is a goddamn LEDGE in it lol

51) 3.2 The Bill

this might be the first of my potentially Hot Takes(tm) lol... i thought it was just Fine lol... definitely some great interactions, and the premise is hilarious, but i wouldn't say it was one that stuck with me particularly? it kinda felt like a cut league of gentlemen gag which isn't a BAD thing, but because of that it didn't feel totally new/unique to in9... idk lol... great supporting cast, though, ofc!

50) 7.3 3 by 3

this one was definitely good fun, and lee mack is great in it, but it's not one i necessarily see myself watching again any time soon? i think part of this is because i didn't see this live, or witness all the Bus Episode(tm) fuckery so i think i am at a kinda disadvantage lol... but yeah mainly sad that neither steve nor reece are in it :(

49) 1.2 A Quiet Night In

another potentially Hot Take here lol... though i liked the whole idea of it being silent comedy, i think it was let down by a couple things. first, i kinda wish it had leaned more visually into the sorta slapstick/charlie chaplin era they were referencing (like i get they probably thought that it being in black and white would be a bit TOO on the nose, but idk... i kinda think it would've added to it? that might just be me though lol... i just like when things are in black and white lol)

honestly though? my main issue was the lame transphobic joke they made w/ oona chaplin's character lol... like even for 2014, the whole 'haha woman have penis = peak comedy' was a bit tired of a trope, coupled by what happens to her at the end of the episode? idk... rubbed me the wrong way and kinda stopped me from fully loving this episode lol

48) 5.1 The Referee's A Wanker (no i'm not censoring it like it does on the iplayer fuck that lol)

i'm kinda let down by being infinitely bored by anything football related with this one lol... like i liked some of the twists, and also the final twist (after my dad explained it to me because at first i was like huh what lol...), and the characters were fun, but yeh... not really much to say other than 'it was alright lol'

47) 4.5 And The Winner Is…

i actually did mostly enjoy this one lol! we're mostly getting to the ones now that i have minimal bad things to say about (which at number 47 out of 55 is p impressive lbr)

but yeh, the reveal of this was great, and i loved the individual characters (shout out to zoë wanamaker, she stole my heart lol <3) i suppose it's just kinda low because it wasn't that exciting lol? but yeh, a solid episode anyway lol

46) 8.5 Nine Lives Kat

i loved a lot about this one, the kinda russian doll style of reveals were really clever tbh! this is one that i've only seen once and i really do feel like i should watch this one again to get my full thoughts... so who knows, its ranking might change if i were to watch it again lol

also that kiss though 👀

45) 5.4 Misdirection

i loved the opening bit, plus the tension of this episode was fab! the twist was kinda predictable, which i don't consider a negative thing generally but it just means that it falls lower against episodes with more surprising twists lol... it's definitely one i wanna watch a few times since there's a lot of details you miss with just one!

44) 8.4 Love Is A Stranger

this one was probably the most black mirror-y feeling episode they've ever done (which is a compliment, btw, because i genuinely love black mirror lol) not just because of the technological elements, but also with the general tone and that twist! i actually kinda liked that steve and reece took more of a step back in this one, it let the other characters really shine imo!

43) 5.5 Thinking Out Loud

i feel kinda bad for putting this one so low since i think it's probably one of the most interesting both conceptually and stylistically, but... there are just so many good episodes what am i supposed to doooooooo?? (not much i can really say about this one without giving things away... i did really enjoy steve's american accent though lol!) 42) 7.4 Kid/Nap

i thought i was gonna kinda dislike this one when i started watching, the premise is pretty simple and i like the split screen stuff but was worried it was gonna come across as a bit gimmicky, but honestly? i had a lot of fun with it! some really brilliant twists and turns, and genuinely one of the funniest of the episodes imo! held together by the great performances and simple but effective story!

41) 8.6 The Last Weekend

this probably would have been higher if i had just based it on my first watch (which was before a certain other episode came out), but on second watch (and with the context of that other episode that has a similar sorta premise but, imo, done much better)

regardless, though, this is a pretty iconic and VERY memorable episode lol!

40) 1.5 The Understudy

ok so my very tiny complaint about this is i wish there were more of the surreal elements (kinda hard to describe but if you've seen the episode you know what i'm referring to lol)... anyway i generally really love things that are set around the theatre tbh and this one really highlights just how good they are as writers with a very limited setting and selection of characters!

but yeh... wish there were more of the surreal/strange moments if had dotted around!

39) 9.5 Curse Of The Ninth

i generally loved the spooky atmosphere of this one! another one that i feel i need to rewatch, i feel like the ending felt a bit abrupt on this one and i definitely kinda wish it had been slightly longer (just like an extra 5 minutes come ON lads) but overall i really liked it! it's my least favourite of series 9, which really shows how strong of a final series it was tbh lol!

38) 6.3 Lip Service

there's so much to like in this episode; great layers of comedy and tragedy, plus the twist really caught me off-guard lol! definitely one of the more complicated episodes (and yes, i also need to rewatch this one lol...) 37) 5.2 Death Be Not Proud

i first watched this one with literally no knowledge of psychoville, but even then i still enjoyed it (also jenna coleman!!! kinda wish we'd seen more of her since she kinda got overshadowed by the psychoville characters, but she's still great lol), though rewatching it once i had watched the other show definitely made a lot of the references make more sense lol

wish i could put it higher just because mr jelly!!!!! love that guy, but the overall story isn't the most interesting or unique compared to the others, but it's still great regardless lol

36) 9.4 Ctrl Alt Esc

another episode that has a similar concept to an episode i like more, which is sorta preventing this from being any higher, but regardless i adored the setting (i've never been to an escape room but i have a strong feeling i'd love them lol), and i think it did such a good job at making us understand the family dynamics really quickly and effectively! also one of steve's strongest performances, i gotta say! he plays these kinds of understated characters so well imo

35) 7.5 A Random Act Of Kindness

i really like the episodes of in9 that feel like almost love letters to a particular subject and how that relates to people and their relationships... curse of the ninth was about music and the act of creation, misdirection was magic and revenge, and this one is dedicated to science, regret and loss! i think i kinda wish it ended in a different way, but i don't think the ending took away any of the rest of my enjoyment of the episode lol

34) 6.6 Last Night Of The Proms

i was most shocked that based on the ratings this is apparently the least liked episode lol? it's arguably the most political of the in9 episodes so i don't know if that's why people are a bit torn about it? or the religious elements lol?

either way overall i really liked it! i think it did a good job of combining the absurd premise with the slight political commentary, plus i really enjoyed the characters (and loved the thick west country accents lol)

33) 2.6 Seance Time

there are so many great elements of this that i can't talk about cos i don't wanna give away any spoilers, but honestly this one has some great twists as well as some genuinely pretty intense moments! i can't explain it but i feel like this would be a really good episode for anyone who hasn't seen the show before to start with? i just feel like it has a perfect 'inside no 9' energy to it lol

32) 8.1 The Bones Of St Nicholas

this might be one of my favourite interpretations of a typical ghost story tbh! possibly genuinely one of the only episodes of the show that actually scared me a bit, ngl! the overall spooky atmosphere is just so great. plus simon callow!!!!!!!!

31) 6.1 Wuthering Heist

another of my potential Hot Takes since a lot of people didn't seem to like this one? i found it genuinely really funny, plus the whole commedia dell'arte + the breaking the fourth wall thing were such unique concepts to throw into one episode lol! i think maybe it's because there were so many slightly strange concepts that people felt it was a bit unfocused??? idk... the ending wasn't my favourite, but i just felt generally the episode felt like nothing i'd really seen before!

also gemma whelan (whose name i had to google oops... she's SUCH a familiar face to me but i don't think i ever learnt her name lol) was so good in this lol

30) 9.6 Plodding On

sorta hard to know where to put the finale tbh... i've only watched it the once through, so definitely need to watch it again at some point. at the same time it's basically a love letter to the rest of the show itself, so it's sorta difficult to judge based on its own merit lol...

that being said, i loved the drama and tension, plus all (well most, ahem) of the cameos from all the people who were in the show in the past were really lovely!

but yeh... definitely a weird one to try and rank... almost feel like i need to put it in it's own list pfft

29) 7.2 Mr King

one of the first truly Bat Shit episodes on my list so far lol! i love the setting and the kid actors in this were INCREDIBLE honestly! another one i don't wanna say much about it because it's kinda better to go in blind lol

only thing i'll say is: ok but whose dicks were those pictures of? they probably mentioned it in a behind the scenes episode or on twitter or smth but i've not seen anything and i'm kinda intrigued did they just.... find them online? did they ask staff? how does one find random pictures of penises(peni?) to use in your dark comedy show lol???

28) 9.1 Boo To A Goose

there's a lot to love about this episode, SO many absolutely incredible british actors (joel fry, susan wokoma, mark bonnar!!!!) plus drag queen steve!??! hELLO???? AND it's on a train!!!! the twist definitely felt reminiscent of a lot of other older horror media, but that didn't stop it being surprising or memorable!

27) 4.4 To Have And To Hold

1st thing: good for her.

2nd thing, this episode was SO good! i had no idea where it was gonna go with the story so the reveal was super shocking to me, plus nicola walker seriously KILLED with her performance ngl!

this is definitely a slow burn episode, so if at any point you're feeling like it's dragging i do implore you to stick with it!

26) 4.6 Tempting Fate

now, if we were ranking these on 'how cute reece looks' then this would be in the top 3 at least sorry not sorry... unfortunately we're NOT ranking them based on that criteria so it'll have to remain at 26th place lol

i really enjoyed the premise and characters of this one! i also especially liked how the hare from this episode is featured in every episode of the show which creates this really kinda insane idea that what if every single story is actually connected lol?!?!

25) 1.1 Sardines

i feel like i should put this one higher because it is pretty iconic first episode of the show, but there are just so many good episodes what am i supposed to DO?!!!!!!?!?

this is technically the episode i've seen the most, i believe, and i do still find so much to enjoy about it even though i've seen it like 3+ times at this point! so many great actors involved lol

side note, i had not actually heard of sardines as a game until i watched this and wasn't entirely sure if they'd just made it up pfft... anyway maybe it's just a northern thing or smth because i'm sure we didn't have this in the south pfft... just plain ol' hide and seek lol

24) 8.3 Paraskevidekatriaphobia

one of the most jarring twists (literally kinda feels like it comes out of nowhere, at least to me pfft), but i definitely still liked it! there was a nice bit of slapstick comedy in this which i appreciated! there were also a lot of superstitions in this that i wasn't familiar with (like the peacock feather one lol)

not really much else to say, it's just a really solid episode lol!

23) 7.1 Merrily Merrily

i did love that this one felt legit like a reunion between the (3) members of the league of gentlemen tbh they were obviously still playing characters, but their interactions just felt so natural and i really enjoyed it! plus diane motherfucking morgan is one of the funniest people alive i SWEAR to god lol! the pee scene made me cry with laughter ngl lol

i honestly think this one is kinda underrated? idk if it was because it was more emotional and character driven than some of the others? (which doesn't make sense since The most popular episode is an emotional, character driven one pfft... idk... people are strange)

22) 6.4 Hurry Up And Wait

so if we were ranking these based on 'how cute reece looks' then this would be RIGHT at the bottom because girl WHAT was that fucking wig?!?! thankfully we're NOT ranking it on that so this gets to be at 22nd lol

as said before, i really like films and shows that deal with theatre or actors, so it was really fun to see actors acting like complete divas lol i was a little worried that the mystery element was going to be another kinda lazy lame joke, but they actually went more of an interesting direction with it imo!

21) 2.3 The Trial Of Elizabeth Gadge

part of me kinda wished they'd done more historical episodes like this because I genuinely loved the setting! there's also a great load of humour in this one, which a pretty legendary couple of twists at the end that made me go like 'OHHHH!??!!' when i first watched it pfft

20) 3.4 Empty Orchestra

arguably the most wholesome episode of the entire show, and usually i wouldn't be a big fan of this kinda episode (like i said i didn't the bottom 2 eps because they felt too much like generic sitcoms lol), BUT there was something in the characters and the genuinely really uplifting and kinda sweet vibe of this one that i couldn't help but love lol!

it's also the closest we got to a musical episode which i'm STILL bummed we never got... like yeh i get logistically it's super hard to do but .... i wanted to hear them sing :((((((

19) 9.3 Mulberry Close

another case of 'there's another similar episode that i liked more' which is sorta why this isn't higher lol regardless, it's such a clever concept to be told entirely through the cctv footage, and the general story and collection of characters were super interesting! i haven't rewatched it yet so definitely need to give it another go lol!

18) 4.7 Dead Line

ok so i need y'all to know that i was watching this literally YEARS after the ep aired with me dad but we STILL got bamboozled by the show cutting out pfft... which might just be because we're dumb but i like to think it's also just because it's so well crafted! it is another one that you need to go in blind imo so please just check it out if you haven't!

recently watched a great video essay on yt where someone spoke about this episode (check it out here!)

17) 2.2 The 12 Days Of Christine

gasp 12 days of christine? not in the top 10???!?!

ok this is IS an amazing episode, and sheridan smith is honestly one of the most under-appreciated british actors imo

BUT idk i think on rewatch the impact of the twist had definitely lessened? like i remember coming up with all these theories on my first watch which were TOTALLY wrong lol... and yeh like there are definitely just other eps i like more... it's good! it's SO good! i still love it! i just... idk lol

16) 3.6 Private View

maybe it's the art nerd in me but i really did love this one lol! i liked the murder mystery vibe of this one with a group of people being invited to an mysterious location and as a viewer you spend the whole time desperately trying to figure out their connection lol!

i liked the small peter kay cameo, plus morgana robinson as a big brother celeb was so fucking funny lol! plus the twists were really mad and i loved them lol!

15) 2.1 La Couchette

very similar to the previous one, but i really did love the collection of kooky characters here lol plus as someone who has been in several hostels (not on a train, but hostels are hostels) i relate HEAVILY to being surrounded by just the strangest and loudest people you will ever meet pfft...

(shout out to the korean guy that came in at like 2am, showered (the shower was right next to the beds so we could hear everything) and he appeared to have everything he ever owned in paper bags which he rustled about for like 20 minutes... i really contemplated murder that night lemme tell you...)

uh anyway yeh this episode is great lol!

14) 6.2 Simon Says

we're onto my ultimate favourite episodes at this point btw lol

this episode is full of great twists and suspense, plus nick mohammed! i like the way they explored fandom culture in a way that didn't feel like it was being overtly mean to the idea of fandom itself (cough unlike sherlock cough and supernatural cough)!

also if we were ranking these episodes based on 'how cute steve looks' then this would be number 1 hands DOWN lol!

13) 1.3 Tom and Gerri

my highest rated series 1 epsiode! i'd actually forgotten about the twist of this one when i rewatched it recently, but i still really loved it tbh!

a great combination of horror with a really emotional through line, plus even at the end you're never really sure what is real or not lol...

12) 3.3 Riddle Of The Sphinx

this episode is SO fucked up and SO good lol!!! you never guess where the story is going next and it's just a wild experience lol! again, don't wanna say too much to give anything away but i will say i understand cryptic crosswords even LESS after watching this twice pfft...

11) 4.1 Zanzibar

if i had any skills i would write my review for this in imabic pentameter ... but alas i do not

this episode felt like such an amazing demonstration of reece and steve's writing prowess! it's funny, the story is absolutely mad with so many crazy twists, and a stellar cast! so worth a watch, especially if you like anything vaguely shakespearan and theatrical lol!

10) 6.5 How Do You Plead

another one where i had SO many theories of where the episode was going to go only to be completely wrong and the twist shook me and i LOVED it! there isn't really much to the story, but it's truly carried by the brilliant performances imo!

9) 3.1 The Devil Of Christmas

i've not really heard anyone talk about this episode much but i was so taken aback by how much i really loved it! jessica raine absolutely NAILS her performance as a 60s/70s actor, and the general film aesthetic and dialogue style is just perfect, and the reveals throughout the episode just add so SO much to the enjoyment of this!

i have a feeling this might actually go up in my rankings when i eventually rewatch it because there are just SO many interesting layers to it imo!

also i just realised i've included the two episodes derek jacobi was in back to back pfft.. wasn't on purpose but he is a legend lol!

8) 9.2 The Trolley Problem

highest rated 9th series episode woop woop!

i rewatched this one recently and realised it reminded me a lot of the story in Last Weekend, but just as i said in that review, i much preferred the way this story was handled to the other one!

(don't get me wrong, they're VERY different just... sorta similar vibes lol)

anyway this is a very dark episode, both physically (it's set at night and i can't see a THING) and conceptually, but the way this combined the psychology elements with comedy is truly masterful!

7) 5.6 The Stakeout

ok so Funny Story about this one

i'd been on a big binge of in9 episodes a few years back and i got to this one and was about half way through when i realised i needed to take a break lol it didn't help that the episode itself is pretty slow burn, especially after watching some of the others that are a lot more fast paced lol... so basically, i paused it with the intention of returning in a few days or so except... then several years go by and i STILL hadn't seen the end of it pfft

anyway, finally watched it this year and it instantly got transported into my top 10 because that twist was SO iconic lol! it's so simple of a concept (steve and reece spend the entire time yapping in a police car) but it's so cleverly written!

6) 8.2 Mother's Ruin

i was a little bit surprised that this one had a lower rating than the rest of series 8 tbh? anyway i LOVED this one lol! the incense line make me laugh every time i hear it, and in general i loved the relationship between the brothers and everything surrounding their mother!

also as someone who recently watched the film reece was in called 'the cottage' (which also starred andy serkis), i can't help but think it was at least somewhat of an inspiration for this episode lol (they may have talked about this already btw but idk)

5) 7.6 Wise Owl

oof... this episode made me go Oof about 500 times after i watched it

it's a good oof... but it is an oof lol

i haven't rewatched it yet and i'm kinda nervous about doing it cos it did sorta emotionally devastate me lol

4) 4.3 Once Removed

in terms of how this story is told, i'd honestly say it was my ultimate favourite inside no 9 format! it's not something i've ever really seen before and it felt so interesting and built the story in such a unique way! also shout out to monica dolan (whose name i forget EVERY time idk why) who is honestly one of the best british actors ever yes i know i've said that about everyone on this list but shhhhhhhhhhh lol

also absolutely loved all the andrew lloyd webber stuff (which isn't a spoiler btw lol...)

3) 2.4 Cold Comfort

another one where i mentioned before that in Mulberry Close there's another episode with the concept of the story being exclusively filmed through cctv footage (deadline also does it but shhh)! i love that concept, especially with the multiple screens where you're constantly aware of things happening in the other booths which just keeps you on edge!

the reveal is super chilling and though i haven't rewatched it yet, i am honestly really excited to because i feel there were SO many things i missed on my first watch!

2) 4.2 Bernie Clifton's Dressing Room

oof part TWO lol... another one i haven't rewatched because it made me cry and i need at least another few months to recover from the first watch pfft... it is still funny btw! i think a lot of people talk about episodes like this and how sad they are, but it has a lot of great comedy in it which is i think part of why the emotionality hits so hard!

side note, i keep accidentally calling this 'bernie CLIFFORD'S dressing room' and i have no idea why lol... i don't think there's anyone called bernie clifford lol??? help?????

1) 3.5 Diddle Diddle Dumpling

trying to figure out my favourite episode was kinda hard, and i think any one of my top 15 could ultimately take this place, but honestly? rewatching this one i just was so overwhelmed with how beautifully crafted this episode is!

it also features my favourite performance by reece... a amazing combination of subtle moments with the bigger explosions of emotion, you instantly feel so much for his character tbh!

the twist isn't necessarily as shocking or intense as others, but there's something so heartbreaking when you realise it that changes the entire feeling of the episode... also mathew baynton is briefly there which i enjoyed lol!

i'm so sorry this post was so long lmao i'm sure no one will have read this far but if you HAVE then THANK you <3 i really love this show can u tell? WHY did it take me so long to get into it smh smh smh smh

anyway if you have read this far then let me know what your favourites were or just if you have general thoughts on my general thoughts u know? idk basically my ask box is always open if anyone wants to ramble about this show or whatever else lol

[dwcmarshalarts]

more questions!

Why is major vespira’s uniform slightly different to that of the rest of the navy when it’s been shown before that naval marines dress the same as sailors (that piece showing off the marines & terizikan ground forces) and is it just an accidental oversight or similar to how USMC officers have different uniforms than enlisted marines?

2. It’s really weird to say “can I be your friend” however I was wondering what your thoughts were on more casual world-building discussion were, because you have inspired me with some aspects, like the civil war piece you made regarding how quickly the fancy parade uniforms of the us army went downhill during the civil war & the realities of who’d actually be wearing it, and it’d be great to have a kinda forum you’d be okay with to discuss various ideas and topics, especially because I’ve recently been trying to get into civil war related mythos, especially with the union

3. Damek critou, as far as I know dames is a character owned by another person yet is the main character of one of your side stories? if so that’s cool and I’d love to hear how that came about, aswell as I’d love to hear a little bit more about what’s actually happening in that story, as I’ve gotten the basic premise of cute traumatised lil blue fox gets whisked away by a dashing rebel officer after getting bored of Rafans 6am meetings (not exactly but that’s the gist of it I presume :pp)

4. Not really a question, but I sent a few more asks in but accidentally turned on incognito, one of them was about your characters (Xever’s unit) and what they were like to interact with as people, in a civilian and military setting with subordinates and strangers (because asking if they accepts hugs is kinda boring) because they all seem pretty interesting (also who’s the lieutenant? :pp)

1. Naval Marines and Voidmen (non-Marine soldiers on the Circuit’s ships) do have the same fatigues, but they don’t dress the same overall. The NM are a unique subdivision of the Navy which have their own internal command structure, they just happen to share some resources, and ultimately answer to their Naval Commanders- most often the folks in charge of their ship or squadron. As such, NM get their own dress uniforms.

2. My take on worldbuilding generally is that I think it is a fundamental aspect of writing stories, and I’m thankful that as of the recent couple years, plenty of people are interested in jumping aboard and doing their own. That said, I think there is a tendency with “going too far” into it, and people get very lost in the sauce. I used to be the consummate worldbuilder back when I was working on my In the Red series, but after a while I kind of noticed that a lot of the world-building that I was doing at the time was just a rote regurgitation of what I knew about real world history. This was also a trend with a lot of what I was seeing from contemporaries, no shade meant, but that was just what I was seeing. I stopped, as a result, and spent a while focusing mainly on the characters in my other series, which would become the flagship “Percivals” stories. I would only really start worldbuilding again after I had a clear idea for the character development and arcs, as well as how they, in conjunction to the world around us, would be relatable to a reader. That way, I could pull not from the rote history, but from what *drives* developments.

Not to mention, I’ve begun growing a little less patient with the worldbuilding-forward story aspects, as it can end up making a story feel less “real” or “lived in,” and break some of the immersion. A good worldbuild is one where you don’t think about the worldbuild. There’s this great line about dialogue in films where characters shouldn’t state information that they should already know, just because the audience needs to be let in on some exposition. This is true about worldbuilding as well. Take from our real world too: how often do people think about the Seven Year’s War? How many people drive past the Winfield Scott Hancock statue in Washington DC and consciously thinking about his role in commanding US Forces at Gettysburg? How many people think about the makeup of a fleet of ships-of-the-line when they pass by Nelson’s Column? The answer is- most people don’t even think about it. They don’t bat an eye and keep going about their lives- and- yes, these historical events have shaped the course of history. But more goes on than just those big events- I haven’t even mentioned mundane, bureaucratic processes that reshape neighborhoods, or public constructions that alter a landscape. Oftentimes, those things get overlooked for flashy, “historical” events, when in many cases, boring legislation or changes in regulation end up being far more wide reaching in scope, both in their immediate effect, and later down the line.

The truth behind the matter is that the key to good, “lived in” worldbuilding is restraint. Restraint of putting everything out there, restraint of not giving every single detail to a reader/viewer. Yes, worldbuild, yes, write about the logistics system in x nation, but have the restraint to keep it in the background as yet another mundane thing. Once you treat a world as having been naturally evolved as opposed to artificially developed, with highlights and whatnot, that’ll be when it’ll feel properly lived in.

As for any further discussion- I’m a little busy a lot of the time haha. If you have any more questions, I can always answer them, or get around to answering them through my inbox. Thank you for your interest!

3. I’ve known Damek for a little bit, and as we’re both interested in sci fi, we’ve had conversations about theoretical placement of his character in the Percivals for a bit. I did a piece for him a while ago that was a commission and I set that in-universe. As an idea, it was kind of just sitting there for a while. In the mean time, I had started another stand-alone story with Ezo (another person’s character who I’m chill with) and built up the antagonist for that story, an ICC Admiral Rafan Spex. Back then, he was a mustache-twirling villain who was unambiguously sinister. Andor, the Star Wars show, did a lot to give me an idea for what Critou could be like. After doing some thinking, I rewrote the Spex character, and connected it to Damek to bridge the two stories, and serve as the basis for a three-arc, eleven chapter story. I’ve written the synopses for every chapter except 11, but I won’t be releasing that widely any time soon to avoid overt spoilers.

4. The officers in Xever’s unit are pretty chill, for the most part. Maybe with the exception of Wynn. Now, I’ll admit, this is a pretty broad question, and one that I wouldn’t be able to reasonably or concisely answer in a single post, but I’ll go over Xever to start with. Xever has had a very rigid, and turbulent upbringing. His father was, for most of his crucial, developing years, a broken man with dead career prospects whose own father was also harsh and austere military patriarch. Xever only really ever connected with his brother, whose death early on in his military career robbed him of companionship, and turned his mother into a fish-out-of-water shut-in, too hurt by the loss to be too active. Despite Xever finding some peace with Tycho for a short while, Xever’s lack of broader social interaction made him socially awkward, ripe for bullying during the Academy. His interests, mainly music and introspective, vulnerable ideas were simply not the same as his peers, and that along with being gay, compounded his insecurities. He’d eventually get through the Academy (not without hiccups) but as he quickly rose through the ranks (largely by family connections), he was still largely socially awkward and masked that by talking to his coworkers in Ground Forces with very by-the-book, stock-standard speech. He’d been to explore himself more off-work, especially in the company of Tycho, and be more loose, particularly in areas where his father would be unlikely to know about. This would have made him more sociable and chill in the long run, but due to events in the story, that would be cut short.

Knowing this, we can tell a couple things: without support from others, or the comfort of well-rehearsed, by the book answers, Xever can be quite socially awkward, both to professional comrades and civilians.

Good question though, I’ll likely make more structured, separate posts about the other characters in time! Likely next will be about Ewan Figes, followed by Tycho, then Wynn, Rodriguez, and Dyer.

[itsavgbltpta]

Should You Watch The Anime?

(Speed Run Winter 2024 Edition!)

I watch too many shows a season to really want to dig deep and review all of them, but since we're a few weeks into the Spring 2024 anime season, I figure I can give you a rundown of the Winter 2024 season!

I'm only talking about shows I finished, and maybe only a couple with sentences on my judgement and some flavor text. If you want to know more about my thoughts for a specific anime listed, let me know and maybe's I'll do a full review on it.

So, Should You Watch The Anime?

In no particular order...

Fluffy Paradise (Isekai de Mofumofu Nadende suru Tame ni Ganbattemasu)

No. It's not a bad show, but not really worth the time either - unless you just have to see a little girl petting random animals and monsters.

The Wrong Way to Use Healing Magic (Chiyu Mahou no Machigatta Tsukaikata)

Yes, if you like isekai that take their time building things up. Fun premise and fun characters, though it doesn't have a conclusive ending.

Mashle season 2

Yes, though only if you watched season 1 already. Still a lot of dumb shounen fun, but now with the best OP of the year.

7th Time Loop: The Villainess Enjoys a Carefree Life Married to Her Worst Enemy! (Loop 7-kaime no Akuyaku Reijou wa, Moto Tekikoku de Jiyuu Kimama na Hanayome Seikatsu wo Mankitsu suru)

Yes, if you're looking for a good romance anime with interesting characters/world. I liked it so much I read all the translated light novels out so far.

Mr. Villain's Day Off (Kyuujitsu no Warumono-san)

Yes, if you're looking for a unique slice of life show. It has chill vibes most of the time, but also some heartfelt stuff. And pandas.

High Card season 2

Not really, even if you watched season 1. They added some weird twists and barely resolve character arcs.

Snack Basue

Maybe, but only if you like kuso-anime and can appreciate assholes as they converse. I laughed at this one more than I thought I would, but it ain't for everyone.

Delusional Monthly Magazine (Gekkan Mousou Kagaku)

No, but it's decent for an anime aimed at a younger audience. Just a little too silly for most of the run, so I couldn't get invested.

Bucchigiri?!

Absolutely Yes if you love dudes that kick each other's asses while feeling like they should be making out with each other instead. This was my favorite show of the season, but I also have unique tastes, lol.

Brave Bang Bravern! (Yuuki Bakuhatsu Bang Bravern)

Maybe, as long as you jive with the main protagonist and don't guess the big twist by episode 3. Guessing the twist so early kind of made the rest of the show a slog. I did want to like this one, but it was just okay in my book.

Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard (30-sai made Doutei dato Mahoutsukai ni Mareru Rashii)

Yes, if you're cool with Boys Love. Despite the absurd premise, the show conveys adult romance fairly well - and the couple actually communicates with each other!

Shangri-La Frontier (Shangri-La Frontier: Kusoge Hunter, Kamige ni Idoman to su)

Yes, especially if you're the type of person who watches Let's Plays. I am that person, so I had a lot of fun watching the progression through the game, especially with the great animation.

Metallic Rouge

No, unless you're really hard up for some sci-fi anime. I wanted to like this one, but it failed on a lot of levels.

[hank-the-hedehog]

Hank's journey: Sonic Adventure 2: part 1

Disclaimer: This series would be about Hank's journey through various events, be it the canon events with alteration or fan-made ones in no chronological order. Said events will be researched before writing about them. Canon characters may be portrayed differently as this series is set in a parallel dimension/au to the main Canon.

A week after Eggman's break-in to the secret military base and keeping out of sight, Hank listens to the police and military frequencies. "They are after Gerald's grandson." His ear twitches as someone or something is approaching him. "Time to move." He uses chaos control to teleport before the military personnel find him. The personnel looks around the area Hank was in. "Sir, the signal disappeared." The commanding officer enters the premises. "It could be the escaped Project Hank." The personnel looks at her superior. "Sir, wasn't Project Hank eliminated 50 years ago?" The officer shakes his head. "He escaped along with the scientists who made him. We have been looking for them for 50 years since our raid cadet." The cadet hears footsteps. "Sir, someone's coming." The officer pats the cadet's shoulder. "I will take care of it. Continue with the scan." The cadet salutes her officer. "Yes, sir!" She continues her scan as her officer goes to secure the perimeter.

Standing on top of a building, Hank observes his pursuers. "Those must be G.U.N agents. Luckily, it's night right now, or they would have spotted me." He pulls the hood of his cape on. "I will need to be extra careful from now on." He checks the movements of the local government and notices something. "They are heading to one location." He hears explosions nearby and glances in its direction. "That's probably why." He races to the scene to investigate. Arriving at the scene, Hank sees two hedgehogs with different colors fighting. "Who are they?" He recognizes one of the hedgehogs as he feels a chaos surge when that hedgehog teleported. "That's must be Shadow." He sees the other is surrounded by armed personnel. "I guess I will have to help them." He teleports to the remaining hedgehog.

The hedgehog looks around to figure out an escape route only to see more people pointing guns at him and smirks. "Bring it." He feels a hand grabbing his arm and looks at who it belongs to. A cloaked figure teleports himself and the hedgehog away. The hedgehog takes his arm away from the cloaked figure. "Woah, what!?!? You can teleport like that faker I fought. you've a Chaos Emerald on you too? " The figure removes his hood and shows who he is. "You can say that. My name is Hank." He offers his hand to the hedgehog. "And it is good to see another hedgehog like me." The hedgehog shakes Hank's hand. "Same except for that faker hedgehog who calls himself Shadow. Anyway, the name's Sonic." Hank looks at his comm device as it beeps. "We should go now. Can you keep up?" Sonic rubs his nose and chuckles. "Of course, I can." Hank puts his comm device in his bag and warms up. "Good. Follow me." He hops down to the streets and speeds off with Sonic following him.

After outrunning their pursuers, the two hide in a nearby forest. Hank checks his comm device, then looks around. "Our pursuers won't find us here. We can use the downtime to rest." He grabs a couple of protein bars and hands half of them to Sonic. "Here. You must be hungry. You will need the extra energy if we are going after Shadow." Sonic takes them and eats one after unwrapping it. "You know him or something?" Hank eats a piece from one of his protein bars. "Yeah, I was created as a failsafe in case he didn't come through." Sonic raises a brow. "What you mean by created?" Hank removes one of his gloves and looks at the back of his hand. "I was artificially made in a laboratory -" He shows Sonic a Chaos Emerald shard embedded in his hand. "- using a Chaos Emerald and an alien DNA." He puts the glove back on.

Sonic whistles, then pokes Hank’s arm as if in disbelief. “Wait, so that Shadow from before is artificial too?” Hank nods. Sonic blinks. “Ooouu Huh..” He ponders on the intel. He seems lost in thought as he rubs his chin. Hank continues. “I was designed with a similar purpose as him.” Sonic’s ears perk, alerting him back to the present. He angles forward, squinting one eye as he fans his hand, anticipating an answer. “And that would beee..?” Hank takes another bite from his snack. “A solution for incurable diseases.” Sonic’s eyes widen. “Whoa, really? That’s cool… So then why is *he* making a scene and making me look like I’m the bad guy here? He gone rogue or something?” He drops his tone to almost a mumble as he continues rambling on amongst himself. “How does anyone even mistake him for me? He looks nothing like me-" Hank looks at Sonic and shrugs. "It doesn't matter to them. They view us as aliens to lock up and experiment on." Sonic crosses his arms. "Then I need to find my friends before they do." Hank finishes his snack. "Alright. Who do you want to find first?" Sonic points over to Hank's hand. "High chance my bud Tails'll track us down with your chaos energy, so we should probably go look for the others. Come to think of it.. Knux can actually sniff out chaos energy as well. Don't ask me how, probably just some special quirk he got for being the guardian or something." He shrugs, shaking his head. "Not sure how he'll take it if he finds out you got a piece of an emerald embedded into you." Hank takes his comm device from his bag and opens something on it. "Okay, can you put their descriptions in here?" He hands his comm device to Sonic. Sonic looks at the device and then at Hank before taking it. "Why?" Hank emits some Chaos Energy and focuses it around him. "To find your two friends. And I will guide your third friend to us." He mutters under his breath. "Hopefully, they won't find us first." He focuses his energy into two large bolts.

Meanwhile, somewhere in the sky above. A fox flies his plane and notices the attached chaos emerald start to glow. "Huh? A chaos energy signature nearby? I should check if it is an emerald. I hope Sonic is okay." He follows the signal to a forest and looks down to see a bright light shining below. "That must be the source." He looks around and finds an open field. "This will do to land the cyclone." He flies to the open field and lands his plane. He pushes a button, and the plane transforms into a bipedal mech. "Now, let's see who this chaos energy belongs to." He heads to the light source.

Hank stops emitting his chaos energy and looks at Sonic. "Your friend is probably on his way." Sonic squints one eye and hands the device to its owner. "How'd you know?" Hank walks past Sonic. "I had a momentary link with his or her chaos emerald through my emerald." He looks over his shoulder. "We will meet your friend halfway." Sonic follows Hank. "Then it must be Tails. He has an emerald with him." Hank's ears perk and glances around him. "Good. Do you want to see who can reach him first?" Sonic notices the noise and nods. "Sure, slow poke." Hank chuckles and takes a running pose. "We will see." Sonic takes a running pose as well. "Ready. Set. Go!" The two of them start racing to Tails' location.

Tails glances at the Chaos Emerald and notices it starting to glow brightly. "Hmm, whoever is producing chaos energy is getting closer." He looks around to where the energy is coming from. "Where are you?" He stops as two hedgehogs zip past him. "Huh?" He looks at one of the hedgehogs and sees his friend. "Sonic!" Sonic walks to Tails with Hank following behind. "Tails! Are you okay, buddy?" Tails hops out of the cyclone. "I'm okay. I'm glad I found you." He looks at Hank. "Oh, hi. I'm Tails." Hank nods. "Hank. You built that mech?" Tails looks at Cyclone. "Yes. It has a chaos emerald in it." Hank admires the design and glances at Sonic. "Your friend is a genius. And I assume you heard what I heard before our little run, right?" Sonic nods. "What's your plan?" Hank points at Tails' mech. "You and your friend get out of here while I distract them." He looks at Tails and shows him the emerald shard in his hand. "And you can track me later." Tails touches Hank's hand. "That's what the cyclone's emerald detected. It detected you." Hank puts his gloves back on. "That's my plan." Sonic rubs his chin. "Okay." Hank fist bumps Soinc. "Don't get captured." Sonic chuckles. "I'll tell you the same." Hank goes back in the same direction as Sonic and Tails goes the other way.

To be continued

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[ Next ]

Master post

Hank belongs to me @lionwriters-blog and @hank-the-hedehog

Sonic, Shadow, Tails, and G.U.N. belong to Sega

I like to thank @hammie-heart for helping me with some parts of this chapter.