#the coloring inconsistencies here i want to cry about it

[doona-baes]

But you know where to go. So we're gonna be okay. Yeah.

[nobie]

rex + expressions

[unearthly-doting]

Heyyyy could you possibly do

Finding their soulmate: creepypasta edition

any creepypasta characters you want (including Jeff the killer & Homicidal Liu pls 🙏)

finding their soulmate: creepypasta edition.

notes: crying i miss my colored text :( i got another two soulmate posts coming ur way soon guys bc that's in high demand it seems so!! also im on my tablet writing all of this and tumblr mobile sucks so if there's any mistakes blame them not me. anyways send requests for things if u want. love u all !

includes: jeff the killer, homicidal liu, eyeless jack, nina the killer, the bloody painter, and ticci toby.

warnings: not proofread and written while i was super tired so, yandere content, mdni, inconsistent length, reader injury in jeff and toby's parts, stalking, mild poly content in liu's part bc he and sully r a package deal here, kidnapping, breaking and entering, murder, this is all actually pretty tame, obsessive behavior, possessive behavior, overprotective behavior. i think that's all??

JEFF THE KILLER — didn't have a soulmate. He didn't have any soulmark, there was no name on his wrist or a string around his finger. The universe had destined him to be alone, it seems. When he was younger, this had been crushing. Why did his brother get to have a soulmate but he didn't? What was so different about him that he didn't deserve a destined love?

Though, after he became the man he is today, Jeff found that he didn't care about soulmates. He probably would've killed his soulmate, if he had one. If anything, he found himself developing a burning hatred at the very concept of soulmates.

Everyone had always played it out to be something wonderful, something people were lucky to have. But he's seen otherwise. He's killed soulmates who have turned on each other just to try and save their own life. It's all a bunch of romanticized bullshit.

And he thinks you're a dumbass for believing that your soulmate would be a good person. Jeff doesn't understand why he hasn't killed you yet, you're just some nobody that he for some reason enjoyed the company of. Maybe it's because you never try changing him. Or maybe it's boredom, who knows.

But he hates when you talk about your soulmate that you've yet to meet. You speak as if you're already in love, and it leaves this suffocating feeling in his chest each time. It didn't feel like anger or annoyance, but he was too prideful to label it as jealousy. Why would he be jealous?

Why do you want to meet your soulmate so badly anyway? You have him. He may not be your soulmate, but does it really matter? You better really hope this man never realizes he's in love with you because you're actually fucked if he does, like…

The moment he comes to terms with his feelings for you, you're never meeting your soulmate. He's crossing out their name on your wrist with his knife and replacing it with his own. You wanted to meet your soulmate so badly, so there. Now he's your soulmate. His name is forever carved on your skin, after all.

He may even force you to carve your name into his arm as well to further solidify the whole ‘soulmate’ thing you so desperately craved. You're stuck with him now, like it or not. No amount of screaming and crying will change what's happened.

Jeff doesn't understand why you're so upset. You wanted this. You were practically begging him for it, always telling him your dream life with the one you're destined with. Seriously, you should've expected this from him.

But it's okay, he'll be the soulmate that you've always wanted.

He'll stay by your side. He'll kill anyone who dares to even think about you. You said so yourself, you don't need anyone so long as you have your soulmate.

Really, he's just giving you what you want. Though he won't lie, he can't help but feel a sick and twisted pleasure at having you depend on him. He likes having you around, even if it's with your mouth taped shut to keep you quiet.

Maybe this soulmate thing isn't as bad as he thought it was.

HOMICIDAL LIU — had always dreamed of meeting his soulmate when he was younger. Something about soulmates always fascinated him, and he absolutely loved hearing stories of soulmates meeting and falling in love.

He learned from a pretty young age that whoever his soulmate was, he shared scars with them. This was something he discovered when he felt a stinging sensation on his arm one day and he could see the scar manifest on his skin. He had been so fascinated by it, and even excitedly showed it off to his parents and Jeff as if it were some sort of reward.

Though, after nearly dying at the hand of his little brother, Liu had become… terrified at the thought of meeting his soulmate. He knew that you shared his scars now. You probably got weird looks from people on the street because of them, right?

And it must've been a horrific experience, waking up in the middle of the night to blinding pain all over your face and neck and arms, unable to stop the scars from forming, not knowing what was happening. You probably hated him. He wouldn't blame you if he did.

But when Liu met you, there was no way he'd be able to let you go. At first, he had just seen you in passing, He knew you were his soulmate the moment he laid eyes on you because you weren't even trying to hide the scars you had. You wore them proudly. He had followed you home that night, just to make sure you were safe.

He felt bad about it, but he couldn't help but come back the next day. His mother must be yelling at him from her grave, scolding him for stalking his soulmate instead of just talking to them like a normal person. A simple mistake on his end (aka Sully literally forced the man in front of you) led to the two of you actually meeting.

You had been so concerned, asking him if he were okay. It had been years since he sustained these injuries, but you still asked. You had always wanted to ask, ever since that night. Your pain was dull in comparison to what he must've gone through, and Liu nearly cried experiencing your kindness because he simply did not deserve it.

Liu tries really hard to have a normal relationship with you, he really does, but he's so utterly paranoid about your safety almost constantly when he's away from you. It makes him sick to his stomach imagining the danger you could potentially find yourself in without him around to keep you safe.

It didn't help that Sully only amplified these thoughts and good lord, how would you react to meeting Sully? Liu had always been very careful making sure that he never fronted when you were around, but Sully was starting to become ansty, eager to meet you.

When Liu wasn't hunting Jeff, he was with you. Sometimes you knew, but most of the time, you didn't. Stalking you was second nature at this point, and he doubts it's something he'll ever stop doing. Besides, it's not like he's hurting anyone by stalking the person he loves. Is it completely wrong and a violation of privacy and respect? Yes. Does he feel guilty? Absolutely. Will he stop? No chance. This is for your safety, after all.

Sully thinks he's a fucking fool behaving this way all for one person just because you're his soulmate (which he also thinks is dumb, by the way.) but then he actually meets you for the first time. You had immediately clocked in on the fact that he wasn't Liu, even though Sully prides himself on mimicking the man fairly well. Looks like you have two soulmates now! Yay!

Unfortunately for you, Sully is a lot more direct than Liu. Liu keeps his possessive thoughts to himself whilst Sully makes it very clear that you belonged to them. Liu's affection was hesitant, scared that he may hurt you if he's too eager. Sully's affection was almost suffocating, the way he'd cling to you and refuse to let go.

And if you ever decide that being with them is too much, trust me when I say they will go to great lengths to keep you with them. Liu isn't above locking you away somewhere if it means keeping you safe, and Sully won't hesitate to kill someone just to keep you in check.

Liu just wants to keep you safe. You can't protect yourself, so let him do it for you.

EYELESS JACK — was confused by the blackened, withered string connected to his pinkie. He knew what soulmates were, though he's not sure why the remnant of one was still tied to him. After his… changes… he shouldn't have a soulmate at all, not even the remnants of one.

Even the smallest string around his finger meant the bond was still there. It made no sense, it defied nature itself just by existing. He didn't understand, but he couldn't deny that he was curious. Whoever was on the other side of this string was destined to be with him, how could he not be curious?

It took time, but Jack had plenty to spare. He followed the string as best he could. The poor thing was so fragile, the smallest tug could tear the bond apart. He's not sure what he'll do when he finds the one he has a fragile bond with, to be honest. Soulmates aren't really… useful, to him. His only driving force is survival. Food. Nothing else is important.

Yet this was, oddly enough. There was just something deep inside of him telling him that he needed to find his soulmate.

And when he found the end of his string, it was connected to you. Now, Jack has no memory of who he was before becoming a flesh-eating demon. He was human once, he thinks, so maybe that's why there's something so familiar about you. A long forgotten part of himself was craving you.

And you? You were utterly horrified to find someone that resembles your missing best friend in your home one night. This was Jack, and yet… he wasn't. You didn't know this man. You didn't want to know this man. But he didn't care. Jack was dead set on having you.

He wouldn't leave you alone. He showed up every single night just to watch you. It was unnerving. To you, it felt like he was waiting for the right time to strike. You were waiting for him to kill you, to devour your soul or whatever.

To him, he was protecting you.

You were his mate. That's what he recognized you as. And as your mate, it was his duty to protect you. He didn't see his behavior as odd. To him, he was just providing for you. He saw no harm in breaking into your home every night to make sure you were safe.

Jack may not understand fully why he's attached to you like this, but he can make an educated guess. It's clear that you knew him. Or, you did, at least. You look at him as if you're looking at a ghost. Clearly, you were someone he's always been attached to. Though, it seems his demonic traits have amplified that attachment.

He won't hesitate to hunt you down if you try running away.

There's nowhere you can go where he won't find you. He'll follow you to the ends of the earth, if he must.

Jack doesn't need you to love him back. Hell, he doesn't need you to like him. He just needs you, in any way he can have you. His entire being aches when he's not with you.

So here you are, stuck with the creature. You're haunted by him, really. And, to be honest, you're not sure if you wanted him to leave.

NINA THE KILLER — wrote literal fanfic on how she wanted her first meeting with her soulmate to go. All she ever wanted was for someone to love her, so when she learned that the inner voice that all of her thoughts was in belonged to her soulmate, she was utterly ecstatic!

This was the only thing in life that mattered to her. Nothing else was important. Everyone in her life thought she was strange, how obsessed she was over someone she hasn't even met.

But if they could hear your voice, they'd understand. Whenever she needed comfort, she would just think random thoughts so she could hear your voice.

And when she finally meets you, it's like something out of a fairytale. To her, at least. She had just broken into your home to kill you, but when you begged for your life, it was like everything clicked.

She looked at you as if you were everything she could ever need, and it made you feel sick to your stomach.

Nina had no plans of letting you go now that she finally had you. One moment, you're in your home, and then the next, you're waking up in a cabin deep in the forest, decorated to seem like a cozy home.

She acted as if she hadn't kidnapped you. In her mind, you two were pretty much married already. You're her soulmate, after all! That's better than marriage in her eyes. And if you don't play along with her, she won't hesitate to remind you just exactly what she could do to you.

Not that she would ever actually hurt you!

No, Nina could never do that. You're the only thing that has kept her sane all these years. Your voice is the only thing that keeps her going these days.

You just gotta understand that Nina can't live without you. She'd never hurt you, but she's not above scaring you into compliance if it means you'll play along with her fantasies.

But if you ignore the fact that she kidnapped you and is holding you hostage in a cabin so deep in the woods that your chance of escape is slim to none, she's actually probably the best soulmate you could ever ask for. When you actually play along with her, that is.

She doesn't force too much affection on you. If she wants to cuddle you, she will, like it or not. But she never takes it any further than that. She respects your boundaries in her own sick and twisted way.

There's no escaping her love now that she finally has you. She'll drown you in it until it's all you'll want.

THE BLOODY PAINTER — had no real interest in meeting his soulmate, even if it meant his world lacked color. The lack of color in his world didn't deter from his passion for art, and he didn't need to see color to create a masterpiece. If anything, the black and white world he lived in seemed to fit him perfectly.

Sure, he had a few passing thoughts on what his soulmate might be like, but it's nothing he ever really entertained. And if he ever met his soulmate, he sincerely doubts he'd want any real connection with them. Rather, he doubts they'd want anything to with him.

So imagine his surprise when he bumps into you one day and color suddenly bursts into his world. It's dizzying, for the both of you, but all Helen can focus on is the red you were wearing.

Red is a beautiful color on you.

It's an awkward start to your relationship, mostly because it was so sudden. Neither of you really knew what to do, and in the beginning, it honestly seemed as if you two just weren't meant to be. But somehow, it seemed to work out.

Helen really didn't want you finding out about his whole serial killer thing. He wanted a normal relationship with you. Something that would separate him from the whole ‘Bloody Painter’ title the media had given him.

He could spend hours just drawing you. You invade his every thought most days, and he can draw you from memory. He has numerous sketchbooks just filled to the brim with drawings of you. And almost all of them feature the color red in some way.

Art was his main way of expressing his love to you. His expression was always apathetic and his words never felt like enough to him, so what better way to show his love than by painting you masterpieces? Almost every piece of art he made these days were dedicated to you. Even his murders.

It was only a matter of time before you learned about his side hobby, unfortunately. You were smart, something he loved very dearly about you. He's not sure when you started to suspect him of being a killer, but he knew you were starting to become wary of him. Whenever the news talked about a recent murder, he could always feel the way your gaze drifted over to him, even if for a moment.

To be honest, he didn't see any reason to confirm nor deny your suspensions. He was curious to see whether you'd stay with him or if you'd try to leave the longer you suspected him. Not that he'd let you, of course. Helen couldn't lose you, you were his muse. If he lost you, how could he ever create art?

Helen would only do something if you tried telling someone about your suspicions. Maybe your friend or family member was a detective, but whoever you try telling is going to end up a bloodied corpse in front of you, your boyfriend standing over their corpse with a look of mild disgust.

Their blood smearing onto your skin when Helen gently cups your cheeks, telling you how careless you had been, how you left him with no choice but to kill that person. You were freaked out by the entire situation, but Helen wouldn't let you go.

Red truly is a beautiful color on you.

TICCI TOBY — genuinely had no idea he had a soulmate, simply because he couldn't feel pain. Truth be told, he didn't even know what soulmates were until he was already a proxy. Kate had been kind enough to explain it to him, when he questioned the mark on her neck.

It was a concept that he found interesting because the idea of meeting someone who would finally understand him was too good to pass up. At the same time, he couldn't help but think it to be bullshit. Toby had always been disillusioned to love, even if he couldn't quite remember why. It just seemed too good to be true.

He wasn't even sure if he had a soulmate, truth be told. He didn't have any marks on him as far as he could tell, and there were no words or names or anything like that. He just assumed he was one of the rare few that didn't have a soulmate.

But then he met you.

You, the newest proxy. Fresh meat, dazed and confused and in need of training. He was like you once, years ago. He trained himself, too stubborn to listen to anyone else. Because of that, Slender always made him train any new proxy it brought. It annoyed him beyond belief, but he didn't have much of a choice.

There was something strange about you. He's not quite sure what it was, but he found it strangely difficult to look away from you for too long. There was just… something drawing him to you. He only understood why when he cut himself on his hand when he retrieved one of his hatchets he had you throwing.

You had gasped. It was a pained one, so of course he had to check you for injuries. When he found the cut on your hand, you had pointed out the fact that he had a similar one on his own. It was… weird, truthfully. And maybe he was being dumb, or whatever, but Toby couldn't help but wonder if… were you his soulmate?

The very thought was enough to drag his hatchet across his arm, watching as the very same cut he had given himself tore into your skin as well. It had left him speechless, to say the least. He felt conflicted in so many ways, and to be honest, he avoided you in the beginning. He had nobody for the longest time, and now he suddenly has a soulmate? It was just a bit much for him, and he needed the space.

But trust that once he's accepted that he has someone in his life now, you're stuck with him. Toby isn't a physical person, so you don't have to worry about him actually sticking to you, but he always seems to be keeping an eye on you. For Toby, he's always been hyper aware of his surroundings because if he's not, he could get hurt without realizing it and then bleed out and die, so sad. But now he has to make sure you don't get hurt as well, already becoming increasingly protective over you.

Any missions tasked to you, Toby will always join you. Doesn't matter how simple the mission is, or if you or Slender try to argue with him, he's going.

He's so protective over you that it borders on possessive. He hates when you get close to anyone, and the moment you leave his line of sight, he's hunting you down. Friend or foe, Toby doesn't want you near them. You have to understand that everyone has bad intentions. Hell, Toby himself acknowledges his behavior to be bad as well, he's well aware of that fact. But to him, it's for your own good. You can trust him, but you can't trust anyone else.

And there's literally no chance that you'll be able to leave him if you tried. As a proxy of Slenderman, you're stuck with him. Slender doesn't care about your comfort, it only cares about you completing the missions it gives to you. Sure, it finds Toby's behavior strange and mildly annoying, but it's not causing you any physical harm, so it simply doesn't care.

But Toby would never, under any circumstances, hurt you. That's something he will vehemently refuse to do no matter what, so you could use that against him if need be.

Just… just let him have this. Let him have you.

[brucebocchi]

Winter 2024 anime, Pt. 2: Mixed reactions, the bench, and the gems

hey y'all, this is also up on my ko-fi! it's free to read both here and there, but i'm struggling financially rn so i could appreciate if you'd throw a few bucks my way if you liked it! part 1 can be found here.

And we're back for part 2! Here's all the new stuff I finished this season, and one more I'll get back to later. As with before, these are sorted alphabetically within each category and are not ranked as of yet.

Also as before, the OP for each series is linked in the title. Check them all out if the header images aren't giving you the right feel for each show, but also check them out because most of them were actually pretty damn good this season.

[Solo Leveling OP voice] LET'S GET IT!

Mixed Bags:

Hokkaido Gals Are Super Adorable!

Your standard, quasi-harem “easily flustered Regular Guy wins over hot girls just by being really nice” shonen romcom. I really don’t have much to say about this one other than if you’ve seen My Dress-Up Darling, you’ve basically seen this already. The only thing that really sets it apart is the setting.

Tsubasa (voiced by Nobunaga Shimazaki, in a FAR cry from his turn as Mahito in Jujutsu Kaisen) is a straight-laced Tokyoite whose family situation lands him in a small city in the frozen boonies of Hokkaido. While looking for the bus to his new house, he runs into a gyaru in the snowy wild, the underdressed, hilariously-proportioned Minami, and they hit it off. It turns out they go to the same school, there are other cute girls there who take a shine to him as well, it’s nothing new.

I ultimately don’t have much to say about Hokkaido Gals, but I do have a soft spot for series like this, and after reading ahead in the manga I felt obligated to see it through. This is all junk food, but it’s all stuff you’ve seen done better in other series. I also have a soft spot for gyaru in anime and manga, and while I do like Minami just fine, she isn’t Marin Kitagawa or Rumiko Manbagi. I don’t really have it in me to recommend this show to many, though, at least not until another season rolls around, if that ever happens. The manga genuinely does get a lot better as it goes on, but the really worthwhile stuff may not happen until a third season, and I just don’t see that happening. 

The manga has issues that the anime isn’t willing or able to solve, chief of which being the visuals. The art style of the manga is wildly inconsistent, and getting a mediocre animation team on this didn’t help matters at all. While the colors often pop nicely against the pretty, snowy backdrops, nobody looks all that great overall. The characters are recognizable, but they just plain don’t look great a lot of the time, nor do they look consistent from one cut to the next; I said that Minami’s proportions are hilarious, but just as hilarious is how wildly they vacillate from one scene to the next for the sake of trying to titillate the viewer.

My biggest takeaway from both the manga and anime was everything I learned about Hokkaido in the process, and if the series is taking subsidies from the island’s tourism bureau, then it’s a job well done. I want some goddamn jingisukan now. The OP is a great time, though. I’m shocked it took over a decade for us to get a proper “Uptown Funk” knockoff in an anime.

Metallic Rouge

I’ll be upfront in saying that this was my biggest disappointment of the season by far. This show had so much going for it, and what we got was… ugh.

There was an unbelievable amount of promise from the outset: This was Studio Bones’ commemorative 25th anniversary production, and coming from the studio that gave us all-timer adaptations like Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood and Mob Psycho 100, not to mention later works from Cowboy Bebop creator Shinichiro Watanabe (including the Cowboy Bebop movie), you can’t fault anyone for having high expectations. It looked to be a fitting production as well: Watanabe’s influence shines through immediately in the gorgeous, lived-in cyberpunk off-world locales and racially diverse cast. Action takes the form of dope robo-tokusatsu transformation fisticuffs, and it’s entirely in 2D animation to boot. The first couple of episodes were killer, too; everything looked and sounded amazing, and there were just enough plot threads teased out that I just had to see how they’d unravel.

It brings me no joy, then, to say that Metallic Rouge collapses into a jumbled mess. I don’t even want to bother talking about what happens in the show because I don’t fucking care anymore. There are few media experiences more sobering than to have it dawn on you over a span of several weeks that “oh… this isn’t actually all that good, is it?” Episode after episode piles on with sloppy lore, weak worldbuilding, warring factions whose names you immediately forget, pointless double-crosses, and the most predictable twist you’ve ever seen. For a while I was willing to accept the fact that I didn’t know what was going on half the time and expected things to become clearer, but now I’m not entirely sure the writers knew either. The stakes apparently kept rising and everything just kept getting more claustrophobic. I’m glad it’s over, if only because if I had to hear “Clair de Lune” one more fucking time, I was going to go ballistic. 

There are several attempts at emotional beats, as the story is rife with tragedy and sacrifice, and every single one lands with a wet thud. Nobody gets enough time, motivation, or characterization for any of these things to feel like they actually matter, and that’s especially a shame because the finale might have been able to stick the landing if the previous episodes were less dense and better paced. Emphasis on “almost,” though, because just before the season ends, we get the absolute most pointless fakeout I’ve seen since The Rise of Skywalker, which is the lowest point of comparison you can make for any work of sci-fi.

This is especially frustrating because on paper, there is so much to like here. Rouge and Naomi are likable-enough deuteragonists with a fun dynamic, and they’d make easy yuri bait in a better show. The characters are all pretty and uniquely designed across the board, and the overall aesthetic, almost a pastiche of late-90’s anime futurism, is undeniable. The toku suit designs are neat and several of the action scenes are gorgeous. The score and soundtrack are outstanding (except for the aforementioned Debussy indulgence). I have few complaints about how the show looks and sounds; the style is great! All of my issues lie with the substance.

Metallic Rouge may have had all the ingredients, but it just needed more time to cook; whether that would have been by doubling the episode count or by more carefully planning the pacing and trimming some of the fat from the lore, I’m still not sure. Probably both. It probably needed better writers, too. Maybe it just isn’t as smart as it acts and there was no way to satisfyingly resolve the clumsy civil rights allegories that bring it uncomfortably close to the likes of Detroit: Become Human. So all of the above, I guess. I tend to adore stories that involve artificially-intelligent beings developing their own wills and emotions and learning to cut their own strings (the likes of Blade Runner, Nier Automata, even a couple of character arcs in the Persona series), but this ain’t it. I’m not even mad anymore. I’m just disappointed.

If there are two positives that will stick with me, though, they would be the absolute banger of an OP and, of course, Naomi Orthmann herself (pictured above, left). Outstanding character design. I’m mildly obsessed. She deserved a better show.

The Unwanted Undead Adventurer

This one isn’t even worth talking about, so here’s a brief synopsis, then I’ll add some commentary, and then we’ll all move on with our lives. 

Rentt, a beloved but mediocre adventurer in a fantasy town, gets lost in the mysterious labyrinth that all adventurers explore for personal gain, gets waxed by a dragon, and awakens as a shitty-looking CGI skeleton. He notices, though, that he’s able to level up better as a skeleton than he did as a human, and with the more monsters he defeats, the more he evolves into something closer to human. The rest isn’t really worth discussing.

If I’m being honest, I should’ve dropped this show much sooner. It looks kinda lousy most of the time, the plot (inasmuch as there even is one) is boring, character designs are forgettable (except for Rentt’s closest ally, Lorraine, holy hell) and it seems wholly uninterested in actually building its own setting. If it returns for a second season, I won’t be there, nor will I feel like I’m missing anything. Each episode felt like a chore to watch. I probably only saw it through because 1) I liked looking at Lorraine, I know what I’m about, and 2) I didn’t want to lump it in with the shows I did drop. The Unwanted Undead Adventurer isn’t as patently upsetting or frustrating as those three, but it just plain isn’t a very good show.

The Witch and the Beast

This show could have been so much more. I was drawn in by the gorgeous character designs and intriguing blend of Victorian gothic aesthetics and architecture with modern infrastructure, and very quickly disappointed by just about everything else. The first episode is an exceptional proof of concept, and almost everything that follows is an upsetting showcase of what could have been.

The story centers around Ashaf, a languid, chain-smoking agent of the governing church with a big-ass coffin strapped to his back, and his partner Guideau, a snarling hyena in a young woman’s body, as they investigate abuses of magic across the continent in search of nefarious witches. Guideau in particular has a bone to pick with witches, as the body they presently inhabit is the result of a witch’s curse, and they remain in furious pursuit of the one who cursed them. The curse can be temporarily undone by a kiss with a witch, allowing Guideau’s true body, a hulking brute confined to the coffin, to escape and wreak havoc. Meaning that on a few occasions we get a girl-on-girl kiss followed by a big dude wrecking shit. There’s also other investigations of serial killings, necromancy, and a cursed sword, and here’s hoping you like those, because the coffin breaks are few and far between.

This wasn’t great! By the third episode I had the sneaking suspicion that the animation talent on hand just wasn’t enough to support the aesthetic. While the character designs are exceptional, almost everyone looks awful in any shot that isn’t completely focused on them. This is especially true of Guideau, who looks so inconsistently off-model from one shot to the next that I’m still not entirely sure what they’re supposed to look like, and that’s kind of unforgivable when we’re talking about a main character. Everything looks too dim and too shiny at the same time, and action scenes look like shit more often than they look interesting. I can see so many flickers of something excellent (or at least really good-looking) in Witch and the Beast, and everything else that keeps those flickers from actually igniting makes it so much more frustrating to watch. Maybe just read the manga instead; the panels I've seen from it were uniformly gorgeous.

Actually, yeah, you should probably just read the manga, because for a season of anime, the pacing is atrocious too. It’s clearly trying to angle for a monster-of-the-week format, but each of these mini-arcs is a little too dense for a single episode, so multiple episodes are dedicated to these one-off curiosities, most of which do nothing to advance the plot or show off what the show does best. And if one of them isn’t particularly interesting, you’re saddled with it for the next two weeks like you've been stuck munching on a mealy apple. And I know you can only adapt so much in a 12-episode season, but the decision to end the season on a flashback arc and a lore dump was baffling. That’s not world-building, that’s lazy, and it made the show’s existing pacing issues feel that much more inane.

I feel like I was sold a false bill of goods. I can only imagine how the mangaka feels about this. Dull and uninspiring all around. What a waste.

The Wrong Way to Use Healing Magic

Isekai, unassuming high school boy gains a unique power, impending war with the Demon Lord, yadda yadda yadda. The Wrong Way to Use Healing Magic isn’t anything new or special by any means, nor is it particularly well-animated or -paced, but at its best it’s silly and charming enough that it made a nice, brainless palate cleanser on Fridays.

Usato, your standard quiet high schooler, ends up walking home on a rainy evening with the popular, attractive student council president and VP, when an isekai portal happens. It turns out that it was just the seito-kai that was invited along for the ride (and President Suzune, as it turns out, is fucking psyched to get to be in an isekai), and Usato got caught along with them. When tested for magical aptitude, Suzune and VP Kazuki hit the jackpot with electric and light affinities, respectively, but things go awry when Usato’s reading turns up with healing magic. Terror strikes the palace as the intimidating dommy-mommy Captain Rose barges in to spirit Usato away from his new friends and into her squadron of goons to train him as a combat medic.

As character comedy goes, this one is actually pretty solid at times. Shogo Sakata is plenty of fun as the put-upon, lippy Usato (a much louder role than Chainsaw Man’s Aki Hayakawa), and Atsuko Tanaka (Major Kusanagi herself!) is a blast as the terrifying Rose, an uncompromising slave driver of a drill sergeant with a secret soft side. The dynamic between them is great, too; Usato is over Rose’s shit from the beginning and isn’t afraid to talk back to her, but before you know it, this transforms into friendly banter as Rose clearly takes a shine to Usato and knows he can handle any punishment she doles out. Suzune’s also a bunch of fun now that she’s broken away from having to be the competent, popular girl at school and gets to fully lean into being a complete dork.

Wrong Way also works decently as an isekai, because it makes an effort to stay rooted in high fantasy rather than fall back on JRPG mechanics, meaning there are no stat screens! It also avoids the trappings of wish-fulfillment isekai series by having Usato start out as a regular-ass guy; he’s not a Kirito type, just someone Rose sees as a rough gem in need of cutting. There are no cheat skills or OP weapons or anything, just a kid training every day to get stronger so he can protect the people close to him, and that’s the kind of anime protagonist you should want to be.

For better and for worse, I get serious mid-00s vibes from this one; watch the OP if you don’t believe me. Some of the colors pop uncannily in that early-digipaint-era way, and the animation is pretty middling; the most fluid animation we see is whenever Suzune is acting like a creep. Much like those mid-00s anime, though, Wrong Way may have benefited from being weekly (or twice as long) rather than seasonal. There’s a ton of planting with very little payoff, and it doesn’t feel like the actual scope of the story has even been addressed yet. We don’t even learn why the series has the name it does until someone literally says it aloud in the 11th episode. I may have to reevaluate this season after a possible second, if we ever get one, because this doesn’t stand too well on its own.

Of the anime in this “mixed bags” segment, I’d say I enjoyed Wrong Way the most, but it still had enough problems for me to keep it here. It’s not a particularly bad anime, but it’s not especially good either. I guess we can slot it into what Hazel refers to as “good mid.”

On Hold: 

Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?! (three episodes watched)

Man, what a title. That was the main draw for this BL series, which on paper is basically a gay version of the Mel Gibson vehicle What Women Want. 

Adachi (a surname that will always make me laugh thanks to Persona 4), a gloomy salaryman, has hit the big 3-0 without getting any, and now he can somehow read anyone’s thoughts just by making physical contact with them. Just as he laments that this is his life now, he accidentally bumps into his handsome, popular coworker, Kurosawa, whom he learns has been harboring a massive crush on Adachi this whole time. Well dang, what now? Kurosawa’s a really nice, thoughtful dude, but Adachi’s never even thought about being with a man before! And isn’t there something wrong with already knowing this secret? How can he even go into the office and look Kurosawa in those big, handsome eyes… every single day…

What I’ve seen so far has been pretty solid, if not particularly well animated. The visuals are really my only gripe here; I just put it off for way too long and didn’t have it in me to finish it on time to actually get this thing written and published. Yaoi isn’t my forte, which feels like a shortcoming on my end as a fledgling bisexual, and I’ve already remarked on the solid LGBT representation this past season, so I do plan on hopping back on this one.

I gotta say, the co-leading voice actors put in serious work this season. Adachi is voiced by Chiaki Kobayashi, who continued his role as Stark in Frieren, returned to Mashle as Mash Burnedead, and contributed to Metallic Rouge’s cluttered cast as Noid. Kurosawa’s seiyuu, Ryota Suzuki (of whom I’ll always be a fan for his masterful turn as Yu Ishigami in Kaguya-sama), also held down leading roles in Bang Brave Bang Bravern and The Unwanted Undead Adventurer. They’ve been great in the few episodes of Cherry Magic! that I’ve seen so far, and they’ll be a huge part of what brings me back.

The Gems:

Bang Brave Bang Bravern

I feel like the mark of a perfectly audacious piece of media is in the moments where I find myself incredulously shouting “WHAT THE FUCK AM I WATCHING” at the screen, and Bravern made me do that at least once per episode. I have so many things to say about what makes this show great but all of it can be summed up as “it fucks so goddamn hard.”

A joint military exercise in Hawaii between Japanese and American mech pilots goes south as a sudden invasion by metalloid aliens portends certain doom for humanity. Just in the nick of time, though, a bombastic, autonomous mech named Bravern arrives from space and insists that ace pilot Isami Ao take his reins. Isami reluctantly agrees, and to his consternation, Bravern goes full tokusatsu on everyone’s asses, complete with fully-diegetic theme music, and keeps the threat at bay. With Bravern continuing to pester him to act as a pilot, Isami is forced to take up the mantle of a reluctant hero as everyone rallies around Bravern to save Earth. Tagging along is blond-haired, blue-eyed American pilot Lewis Smith, who gets to live out all of his Top Gun fantasies, right down to the latent homosexuality.

That last point isn’t a projection or anything: This show is legitimately gay as hell, and it rules. Bravern’s feelings towards Isami feel far more romantic than what you’d expect from a literal robot, and his description of how it felt to have Isami pilot him for the first time, as relayed to a grim-faced military council, is riddled with hilarious innuendo. Isami struggles not only with shouldering the burden of needing to be a hero to all of humanity, but also being beset on both sides by a loud, insistent mecha and a dewy-eyed gaijin, both of whom very well seem to want to get in his pants. Intricate rituals punctuate Isami and Lewis’ angsty relationship as these broad-shouldered, muscular men grow ever closer. It’s also worth reiterating that Isami is voiced by Ryota Suzuki, who also voiced Kurosawa in Cherry Magic!, and that may not have even been his gayest role this season. I’m not super well-versed in mecha as a genre, but I do know that there’s a lot of Warrior’s Bond-type stuff in these series, and Bravern lays it on thick. And hard.

This show looks killer, by the way. CGI implementation in 2D anime is still a touchy subject, but Bravern features some of the best I’ve ever seen. Simple cel-shading goes a long way to the point where, outside of some uncanny motion, Bravern himself feels perfectly blended into the hand-drawn animation. Mecha designs range from realistic military-style tech to otherworldly sentient robots, and battle sequences run the same gamut as the stakes rise. As goofy as all of the above may sound, it’s committed to being a grandiose, big-time mecha showcase.

This is as good as camp gets in anime; Bravern does for the mecha genre what Akiba Maid War did for yakuza film pastiche (I have also heard positive comparisons to Samurai Flamenco, which I’ll have to get on ASAP). It’s an excellent mecha show in its own right, and wildly hilarious to boot. Bravern himself is very genre-savvy and seemingly a bit of an otaku himself; he loves acting like a mecha hero, to everyone else’s chagrin. Several of the villains (also mechanical beings, voiced by an all-star seiyuu roster that includes Kenjiro Tsuda, the aforementioned Atsuko Tanaka, and Rie Kugimiya) are total dorks themselves. A CIA interrogator tries to waterboard a mecha at one point. Bravern is a deeply silly show, but its heart is planted as firmly on its sleeve as its tongue is in its cheek: For as wacky as it can get, the story still unfolds with a straight face and excellent emotional beats. 

This show also has the most unskippable ED of any anime since Chainsaw Man dropped a new one every week. I will not say what happens. You cannot predict what it is. Just watch it. One of the top YouTube comments on that video says “When I saw this ending after episode 2, I thought I was going crazy.” That’s a ringing endorsement.

Chained Soldier

On the heels of 100 Girlfriends completely rewiring my brain, I was raring for some more good old-fashioned anime trash. I was told that there would be plenty this season, but you can consult the “dropped” section to see how well that worked out for me. Chained Soldier came with some significant hype, and soon enough into the first episode I realized that I’d actually skimmed through this manga before (don’t ask why), so I was on board immediately. Now here’s some nice trashy fun.

The world is in peril thanks to creatures called Shuuki that can advance on our world via portals from another dimension. Women primarily lead the charge against these monsters, as this dimension produces a special fruit that can lend them (and not men) otherworldly powers to help them in the fight. Yuuki, a perfectly normal young man, ends up in grave danger as he stumbles into a portal, where he is saved by the beautiful Kyouka, a commander who is able to subjugate Shuuki at will and use them to fight others. In a bind, she asks Yuuki if she can subjugate him, which he agrees to by licking her finger and transforming into a monster himself, at her beck and call. Because of his utility in battle, Yuuki is enlisted into her squad of baddies (and also an 11-year-old), living in their home as a caretaker and answering directly to Kyouka as her “slave.”

I know. Hear me out.

I put “slave” in scare quotes because Chained Soldier fortunately isn’t going full Shield Hero on us; this arrangement has a give-and-take baked in. See, every time Yuuki completes his service, Kyouka (or whomever else takes advantage of this anomaly) is compelled to carry out whatever suitable “reward” springs from his unconscious, and this is where the ecchi kicks in. Sometimes it’s a kiss, and sometimes it’s something a little more; the reward corresponds to the length and intensity of Yuuki’s contributions to battle, so the heat can turn up in the form of, say, clothed face-sitting, a good scrubbing in the bath, or some nice, casual CBT. All of this is to say that “slave” is a bit of a buzzword here: It’s more of a dom/sub situationship with a lot of extra steps.

Yes, just about everything that isn’t an action setup is full-on harem trash, and Chained Soldier lays it on thick, right down to full-on nudity. Nothing about this show resembles high art, but I can’t help but admire such a high level of commitment to its aesthetic, including the sleaze. It fully commits to the bit and doesn’t even bother lampshading its own trashiness. Chained Soldier knows what it’s about, and I respect that. It also has the good sense not to sexualize the youngest girl, which is a point in its favor that I can’t award a couple other shows previously discussed.

And while this show is plenty fun, the action sequences often excellent, and the character designs usually delightful, there’s not actually a whole lot going on here. As I said with Mashle, I know that battle manga like this can take a minute to really get cooking, and as I said with Witch and the Beast, 12 episodes may not always be a sufficient runtime to adapt enough to break ground, but the debut season feels more like a proof of concept than anything else. That being said, Chained Soldier’s manga has a very effusive audience, and its praises don’t seem to entirely be about the boobs and butts, so I’ll wait patiently for the second season. I think it’s earned that much.

Delicious in Dungeon

This is the one I’m having the hardest time writing about because it so confidently and so completely speaks for itself that anything I could add would feel like scattering sawdust at the beach. Dungeon Meshi (I refuse to call it by its official English title) is a widely beloved manga among those who’ve read it, and for Studio Trigger to do an honest-to-goodness manga adaptation for the first time might as well be front page news among anime fans. 

The story follows Laios, the deeply weird human hero, as he delves back into a bizarre and mysterious dungeon to rescue his sister Falin from the belly of a dragon, along with his misfit party: The neurotic half-elven mage Marcille, the temperamental halfling rogue Chilchuck, and the dwarven warrior-slash-chef Senshi. The party is frequently low on supplies, so to survive the trip they’ll need to subsist on the most abundant resource in the dungeon: Monsters. Senshi’s aptitude in the kitchen helps ensure that everything is edible and sufficiently tasty, regardless of how nasty the monster it came from may have been. With monster obstructions out of the way and their bellies filled, our party delves deeper into the dungeon as the mysteries deepen in kind.

I love the character dynamics in this so goddamn much. Marcille and Chilchuck are frequently put off by the dubious monster food presented to them, but their consternation is worsened by the fact that Laios’ fascination with the monsters it came from annoys the shit out of them. I referred to him as “deeply weird,” but that doesn’t begin to describe his absolute galaxy brain, and I mean it as a term of endearment. Laios is deeply knowledgeable and curious about the fauna in the dungeon, and not just how they taste: He is vocally curious about how certain monster attacks may feel, sings along with siren songs, and even keeps a hardcover bestiary inside his breastplate. He’s one of those people you turn to if you have a question on a hyperspecific subject, but you have to be careful how you ask it or else you’re trapped for the next two hours. And I love him for it.

Even putting the comedy aside, there is a fascinating human element at play in Dungeon Meshi, and I can tell that that surface has barely even been scratched yet. Marcille is just as dogged in her pursuit of saving Falin as Laios is, maybe even moreso (remember what I keep saying about LGBT representation this season?). Chilchuck continues to convince himself that he’s only in the job for his own personal gain, but you can see that mask slipping. And I still wanna know what Senshi’s deal is. Even with the five major players I listed, there’s an increasingly deep roster surrounding them—showcasing a broad spectrum of races and ethnicities, both real and fantastical—each with their own histories and motivations, and I cannot wait to see how they play out and interact with one another. There seem to be much deeper themes at play here as well as we learn more about perceptions and grudges between differing races, oppositional magics, clashing ideologies, and the monetary incentives that drive both the dungeon’s exploration and its very existence. I’m here for it.

I’ve been holding off on reading the manga until the season is up in June (though I could crack any day), but I know a loving adaptation when I see one. Not that Trigger ever slacks off in the animation department, but they absolutely brought their A-game here. Everyone looks bouncy and cartoony in the way only Trigger can pull off while still looking as close as possible to Ryoko Kui’s source material (as far as I can tell). As with Frieren, the action sequences aren’t frequent, nor are they entirely what the show is about, but they look incredible every single time. And the food, of course, looks incredible, no matter how weird. This is practically a cooking anime and a fantasy dungeon anime at the same time, and both aspects are visually on point at all times.

I’m obviously speaking from my own bubble as one of the six people who still use Tumblr in 2024, but I rarely see new anime make a splash like this on social media every single week, and the ones that I do are usually the monster shonen hits like Chainsaw Man or Jujutsu Kaisen. Dungeon Meshi deserves the exposure and success it’s attained, and I’m excited to see it continue. I’d easily slot this right up there with Bravern as one of the best new anime of the season.

A Sign of Affection

I’ve seen a hell of a lot of shonen slice-of-life romances in the past year and change, so a nice fluffy shoujo like this was an excellent palate cleanser. There were a hell of a lot of Big Action Setpieces and panicky teens and grim dungeon crawlers this season, and at the end of the week I wanted to unwind with a bunch of pretty twenty-somethings falling in love with each other.

The show centers on Yuki, a young woman living with congenital hearing loss, making do at a public college after growing up at a school for the deaf. Though she’s able to get by with LINE messages and lip reading, she’s unprepared when a foreigner asks for help, but she’s saved by a handsome and mysterious young man named Itsuomi. He’s able to help out, and takes an interest in her when he realizes his fellow undergrad is deaf, and Yuki takes an interest in kind because he’s really goddamn hot. It turns out that he’s a polyglot and an avid world-traveler, but sign language is not in his purview. This mutual interest sparks the concern of her childhood friend, Oushi, one of the few people in her life who already use sign language, who wants to be sure that nothing untoward is happening. And it isn’t, because this is just a really lovely, low-stakes romance story.

This is pure, unfiltered shoujo at its best. Yuki’s internal monologue is peppered with flowery prose, and everything and everyone looks soft and beautiful. Fashionable, doe-eyed women and pillowy-lipped ikemen abound (seriously, holy shit, the lips on these boys) as the scope widens and the main love interests’ friends explore their own possible love stories. Itsuomi is very much of the “mysterious boy” archetype you’ll find in romance stories in this demographic, but he’s not hiding any sort of dark past like you’d typically expect; he’s just an interesting guy who keeps his personal life close to the vest. He’s a self-appointed world citizen who loves learning about how people of all cultures live their lives, and in Yuki he sees someone within his home turf who happens to live in her own world entirely. And it’s easy to see his forward behavior with Yuki as infantilizing at first (Oushi sure does, and I’ll get back to him in a second), but as they grow closer Itsuomi quickly becomes much more considerate of her boundaries and learns to accommodate her as he studies sign language and gestures that help ensure her comfort. This is a story about Yuki’s horizons broadening just as much as it is about Itsuomi wanting to be let into Yuki’s narrow world, and that sort of synergy makes for some exceptional romance.

A Sign of Affection deserves some credit for refusing to shy away from Yuki’s disability and making a point of depicting her world as one that does little to accommodate her. Very few people in her daily life ever bothered to learn sign language, she relies on a friend to take notes during lectures, and work is hard to come by. It’s an honest depiction that makes an effort not to be exploitative, which is a breath of fresh air. Not only that, but there’s some interesting meta-commentary in there: The only major conflict in the story stems from Oushi’s jealousy, and his reservations about Itsuomi possibly “taking advantage of” Yuki almost feel like he believes that he’s the only one who knows what’s best for her just because he’s done the bare minimum to accommodate her. He thinks he’s coming from a good place, but he winds up accidentally infantilizing her in exactly the way he thinks Itsuomi might. That’s a particularly interesting bit of irony!

I’ve seen enough shonen-oriented romcoms where an unassuming Regular Guy gets flustered as a way-too-casual girl pushes his buttons (hell, I’ve already reviewed two of those this season), so it’s nice to see the formula flipped for a shoujo as Yuki and her best friend Rin blush and squee over Itsuomi and his coworker Kyouya, respectively. A Sign of Affection isn’t afraid to get a little silly with it, either; plenty of these moments are punctuated by characters’ faces going low-detail or full chibi, and they are cute as shit every single time.

This one was just cozy as hell. If you’re into this sort of thing, swaddle yourself in it and bask.

Solo Leveling

I let this one collect dust after the third episode and didn’t pick it back up until the season was almost up, and honestly, I was kinda dreading it: The trailers didn’t look too promising, the show was slow to start, and it looked like yet another derivative JRPG-style dungeon crawler that managed to get popular. Turns out, nah, this show actually kinda fucks and the web novel series and webtoon it’s based on are popular for a reason. The story is nothing special, don’t get me wrong, but it’s a perfectly serviceable turn-your-brain-off action spectacle with a bit more lying beneath the surface.

In a modern-day South Korea where portals to mysterious dungeons open up and threaten the populace, those who can brave the dungeons, known as hunters, are an invaluable human resource. Once someone is assigned a grade as a hunter, they have that grade for life, barring some rare occurrences. Sung Jinwoo is at the lowest rung on that ladder as an E-rank, incapable of improvement, assigned the epithet “the weakest hunter of all mankind.” He mostly shows up to portal raids as a warm body to fill a quota, and one such job goes haywire as most of the raid party, Jinwoo included, is brutally slaughtered in an arcane secondary dungeon within a portal. He somehow wakes up in a hospital, unharmed, and able to access a digital menu before his eyes that exhorts him to do the One Punch Man workout every day, lest he incur punishment. He gets hilariously chadly in the span of a few days in the hospital, including an inexplicable haircut, and finds access to dungeons only he can enter and levels up within this new system.

This one gets off to a slow start and may have benefited from a longer premiere like Oshi no Ko or Frieren, but once the table is fully set, Solo Leveling really starts to cook. Jinwoo’s titular leveling process is a blast from one fight to the next, and as he moves to work in the dungeons that other hunters can access, it turns out he’s been training with the weights on. He’s suddenly fighting way above his pay grade, and after staving off attacks from hunters taking advantage of portals for nefarious ends, he is recruited by an ambitious corporate scion to make some real coin and establish an independent association of hunters.

While it can feel like there’s a whole bunch of table-setting between portal sequences, it’s some smart worldbuilding on Solo Leveling’s end to establish how portal hunting became a central pillar of this society, and doubly so how political and capitalist interests can leave a wide berth for corruption and bad actors. If there’s money to be made in hunting, of course people will find ways to make even more at the expense of others, both at the corporate and individual levels. There’s a lot of talk in there about “survival of the fittest” and “natural selection” and that… makes me nervous.

Those are terms that can be used to justify immoral actions in the name of money, sure, but Jinwoo also uses them to justify his own process. To what end is he constantly improving himself? Sure, he's doing what he can to provide for his younger sister and their ailing mother, but I see less and less humanity in him as this goes on. There are constant hints at something far more sinister at play than just a dude getting stronger for himself, not the least of which being “the system,” the UI that implores him to keep taking on these “quests.” Something, or someone, seems to be guiding him. Whenever another hunter turns on Jinwoo, of course his self-defense instincts kick in, but system pop-ups instruct him to defeat X number of hostiles like it’s a normal video game scenario. There’s something eerily depersonalized about these encounters, despite them being full-on mortal combat, that gives me serious Ender’s Game vibes. Consider me intrigued.

I’d heard that the Solo Leveling manhwa’s main draw was its visuals, and though I had my doubts early on, I'm sold now. This is a pretty solid presentation! Hiroyuki Sawano turned in yet another banger soundtrack to punctuate all the action setpieces, helping to stitch together a fairly complete tapestry. Said setpieces are exhilarating and almost impressively bloody, and while the animation is nothing impressive in the day-to-day, it goes absolutely batshit when the gloves come off. Movement is inhumanly fluid and the visuals can go into the same loose, psychedelic territories we’ve seen in the likes of Mob Psycho and the second season of Jujutsu Kaisen. If this is the new meta for shonen action, I’m not complaining.

By all rights, this is a pretty decent show, but if I’m being honest, this one just hasn’t stuck with me much. And that’s fine! Sometimes I just wanna see some nutty action stuff and move on with my day. Solo Leveling hits that spot perfectly, and I'll be right back there when it returns for its next season.

‘Tis Time for “Torture,” Princess

I was surprised to learn that the gag manga this is based on, with such a seemingly simple premise, has been running for well over 200 chapters and counting. As the anime progressed, I was far more pleasantly surprised to learn that it actually works.

In a standard anime fantasy world where the forces of good are fighting the demonic Hellhorde, an unnamed warrior princess and her talking enchanted sword are taken prisoner and subjected to torture as they’re squeezed for intel. Said “torture,” as the title’s scare quotes would suggest, is mildly unconventional, as the demon baddie inquisitor, aptly named Torture Tortura, attempts to ply the princess by presenting her with tantalizingly delicious-looking food that she can only partake in if she coughs up some info. Naturally, the princess caves every single time, but her intel is often inane and useless, so the “torture” continues. It’s not all food, though: The princess is soon held out of arm’s reach of adorable baby animals by a gyaru beastgirl, pampered into submission by a spa-loving giantess, and is faced with a tsundere vampire faildaughter, who… tries. 

And you’d think that would be it; the joke wears thin and you move onto something else. Before you realize it, though, something’s changed: The princess and her captors are quickly becoming friends. The premise almost feels perfunctory: These inquisitors are actual people just doing their jobs, and whatever happens after the princess’ myriad confessions is fair game. There’s no malice or animosity, even during the “torture” sessions themselves: Everyone will have a blast and grow closer as friends, and then the princess will voluntarily go back to her bedless cell. It’s like Sam and Ralph after they clock out, except they’re almost always off the clock. Everyone is genuinely looking out for each other in all directions, and the only thing that keeps the torture going is the need for a status quo to return to, even as it grows more elastic. If anything, Time for "Torture" is a good example of committing to the bit without having to necessarily rely on it.

The real irony in all of this is that it becomes increasingly apparent that the princess is having her needs met in captivity far better than she ever did back home. In her proud proclamations about how she’ll never cave to the temptations before her (shortly before she does just that), the princess often talks about her upbringing and her time as the head of an imperial legion, but these stories often betray her lack of friendship or any of the little things that make life worth living. Her life as royalty was one of isolation and deprivation, to the point where she finds more freedom and fulfillment as a prisoner. She truly lives in a society.

Hellholm, on the other hand, has a surprisingly healthy approach to things like work-life balance, food, and leisure, and its most valuable prisoner is no exception. The Hell-Lord himself is a surprising exemplar of this; for as much as he looks and talks like your standard terrifying JRPG demon king, he’s a surprisingly good dude! He looks after his family, employees, and even the captive princess as if they are all one and the same; he exhibits strong principles and an aversion to conflict, sees to his employees' needs and wants alike, and is a supportive, loving father to his unbelievably precious little daughter (who also serves as a “torturer,” to the princess’ delight). He’s also a big time anime dork, and even bonds with a knight attempting to rescue the princess over their shared otakudom before sending him off peacefully. As “villains” go, he’s top tier.

Time for "Torture" is nothing groundbreaking by any stretch, but it’s a cute, silly time and it plays with anime fantasy tropes in the same way a six-month-old German shepherd “plays” with a cheap stuffed toy. How long the premise holds up is entirely up to you, but I had a lot of fun with it. I have no idea how this ended up being one of the better shows this season, but I guess it just scratched the right itch for me.

[eldritch-nightmare]

celebrating the holidays.

a/n: hi here's my short replacement for the eyeless jack fic. that one is still gonna get posted!! just may take a while bc it's getting longer than i intended it to be lol. anyways i tried to keep the holiday relatively vague but since i personally celebrate christmas, i may slip up a bit. couldn't decide who to write for so i just spun a wheel six times and went with the ones selected.

includes: the bloody painter, nurse ann, jane the killer (arkensaw), eyeless jack, kate the chaser, and homicidal liu.

warnings: not proofread, very brief mention of helen's childhood, literally just fluff, also inconsistent length but that's to be expected atp, reader consumes meat in jack's section so sorry if u don't, nsfw elements in jack's part my hand slipped guys, blood, lotta kissing.

THE BLOODY PAINTER

He never cared much for the holidays, even when he was a child. Honestly, it was the one time of year that he dreaded the most.

He's an artist, so you know what that means. Every year, without fail, he would always get some art-related gifts. Not that he was complaining about that or anything, it was really, and still is, the only thing he had much interest in.

He just... found it to be draining. Apparently, at least according to his parents, he was supposed to find the holidays to be a fun, exciting time of year. And he was supposed to be oh so thankful for getting yet another sketchbook or paints from his relatives or whatever.

That was just too much work, honestly. So he grew to dread the holidays, even long after he became the killer he is today.

He's... not quite sure how he feels about the wrapped gift you're holding out in front of him. A part of him wants to reject it, and he almost does, but the barely contained excitement in your expression made him hesitate.

Your excitement only seemed to grow when he took the wrapped gift from you. While he didn't necessarily want or need a gift, he couldn't help but indulge you, especially since you seemed genuinely excited over whatever gift you had gotten him.

Honestly, he wasn't sure what he was expecting when he unwrapped the gift. Something art-related, no doubt. And it was art-related, just not in the way he was expecting.

It was something similar to a scrapbook, but it was really... neat. And more so a collection of art rather than an actual scrapbook. The thing that caught his attention the most was that it was just any old collection of art.

It was his art. You... you took or had his art professionally photographed and you put it in this book. It wasn't every single piece of art he's ever made, but it included a lot from different points of his life. It even included pieces from before he had met you.

He does not cry, no. But you do catch the tiniest smile forming as he flipped through the pages. It's... the nicest gift he's ever gotten before.

Helen's not sure how he'll repay you for getting something like this, so for now you'll just have to accept the tighter-than-usual hug and soft kiss.

NURSE ANN

Ann isn't too sure if she's ever celebrated any holidays before. She has no memories of her life before her... death? Is she dead? Well, she certainly doesn't feel alive.

She's rather indifferent towards the holidays, and honestly she probably won't even realize it's that time of year unless you or someone else point it out to her.

If you want to celebrate with her then she certainly won't stop you, just don't expect her to be the life of the party or anything like that.

You will have to guide her through how to celebrate because she simply will not know. But once she gets a hang of how things work it'll be something she retains for the future.

Ann stares blankly at the... tastefully atrocious sweater you were sporting. There were so many colors and the design clashed in a borderline unbearable way but you somehow made it look good.

Her gaze then drops down to the matching sweater you were holding out for her, an expectant look in your gaze. She thinks she understands, though she still glances up at you in confusion.

You explain that while it's not necessary to do in order to celebrate the holidays, you thought it would be fun to wear matching outfits with her. It's something couples do sometimes, apparently.

After your quick explanation, she silently takes the sweater from your hands and puts it on over what she was already wearing.

It certainly looks odd on her, no doubt, but the fabric is actually pretty soft, and the bright smile that lights up on your face makes it hard for her to care about whether or not the sweater looks good on her.

JANE THE KILLER

Jane hasn't celebrated the holidays since all the shit that's happened to her. She's been so focused on hunting Jeff down that it never even crosses her mind. Hell, she hasn't even celebrated her own birthday in years.

But then you come along and you insist on doing something for the holidays. Not because you necessarily enjoyed the holidays, but mostly because you just wanted her to take a break for once.

It'll take a lot of convincing. You'll have to get her to promise you months in advance, if we're being honest.

And if she didn't have such a soft spot for you, she probably wouldn't even humor the idea you had to celebrate. But alas, she loves you, and she finds it hard to say no to you more than she would like to admit.

She huffs in mild annoyance, sticking close to you as you guide her down the streets. She wouldn't normally be in such a crowded place but everyone was so caught up in their own plans for the holidays that no one spared her a single glance.

You wanted to go ice skating. It's not typically a traditional way to celebrate the holidays, at least not for her, but it seemed as if it would be fun. And it would give her an excuse to be close to you, so.

When you guys finally reach the ice skating rink, you're bouncing in excitement and eagerly pulling Jane along to go and put some blades on. She lets you, because your hand is oh so warm in hers and the way the lights shine in your eyes makes her feel... peaceful.

Now, there's no denying that she has never gone ice skating before. Hell, she's never been roller skating. So the moment you two were out on the ice, she was clinging to you to keep herself from falling.

It was embarrassing, and she almost wanted to storm off out of frustration but you never laughed at her. You would help her catch her balance whenever she slipped. You only laughed when you slipped.

You were even fine with sticking to one side of the rink, always keeping Jane behind you whenever another person would skate too close.

And when the two of you decided you had enough, she couldn't help but pull you close right as you go to step out of the rink, planting a deep kiss on your lips and leaving you dazed as she goes to take her blades off.

EYELESS JACK

Similarly to Ann, Jack can't remember if he's ever celebrated the holidays before. However, unlike Ann, he does have a vague idea on how people celebrate the holidays. He's not isolated like her.

He's definitely indifferent towards the holidays. He doesn't care much for them, but he's probably willing to celebrate if you really want him to.

Gift giving is not his specialty, dear lord. You will have to sit him down and tell him bluntly what you want so he can find some odd most certainly illegal way of obtaining it.

Jack is, however, an amazing cook and there is nothing that could change my mind on this, so he will definitely be willing to help you make any holiday meal you may want to try out.

Jack is silent as he watches you cook some meat for the meal the two of you had been spending the past few hours or so making. You had family coming over, and you needed dinner to be done before they arrived, so you had enlisted the help of your demonic, cannibalistic boyfriend.

His nose scrunched up in slight disgust at both the sight and smell of the cooking meat, and he grumbled silently under his breath about what a waste it was to cook it.

His mild disgust only seemed to grow more evident when you cut a piece of the meat off and pop it in your mouth to taste test it. He just couldn't understand how you could eat such a thing. Then again, he can't really judge considering he only consumes raw meat. Typically coming from a human.

You hum in delight at the taste, and perhaps it's an instinctual thing humans do, or maybe it's something else, but you cut off another piece and hold it out for him to eat. He just stares, and it takes a moment for you to realize what you had done, letting out a small, embarrassed laugh.

Before you could eat the piece of meat yourself, he was grabbing your wrist and bringing it back to his mouth, eating the cooked meat and biting your finger in the process. You hissed at the feeling of his sharp teeth pricking your skin, but you don't pull your hand away from him.

The meat was disgusting, no offense. You're an amazing cook so it isn't your fault, he just literally cannot consume cooked meat (or really anything that isn't raw/human) and he's going to feel absolutely awful tomorrow but that's for future Jack to worry about.

Present Jack thinks he deserves a reward for putting up with both the smell and taste of cooked meat, and he licks at your bleeding finger like your blood is the best thing he's ever tasted. To him, it was. It certainly helped to erase the taste of cooked meat.

Once he was satisfied, he was pulling you closer to him and kissing you deeply. He bit at your bottom lip until it was bleeding as well, and he couldn't help but groan as your blood invaded his mouth once more, relishing in both the taste and the little gasp that came from you.

He wanted more. Needed, if we're being honest. He found himself craving for you as his hands fell to the hem of your sweatpants, gently tugging at them. A clear sign of his intentions.

You grabbed his wrists before he could continue, breaking the kiss off and smiling slightly when he chased after you. The two of you were breathing heavily, the air in the kitchen feeling a lot thicker now.

Later, you promised. You still had a meal to finish cooking, and your family would be coming by in just a few hours. You sealed the promise with a quick, chaste kiss before taking the meat off the stove and setting it aside to focus on the next part of the meal.

And he helped you. He was patient, and he knew you could keep your promise.

KATE THE CHASER

Considering her sensitivity to light, it's not exactly easy for her to celebrate the holidays since bright lights seem to be a staple in them.

She's not really much of a holiday person anyway, so it's not something that bums her out.

She's probably the only one on this list that's least likely to indulge in celebrating, and will more than likely turn you down if you bring up the offer.

But she does feel a certain fondness in her heart when she sees you getting excited over something in relation to the holidays. While she doesn't enjoy that time of year, she's glad that you do.

Kate keeps her eyes covered as you carefully guide her through the forest. You had a surprise for her, apparently. Something to celebrate the holidays without actually celebrating.

She wasn't immediately thrilled, but you had promised that there would be absolutely no bright lights involved and that she didn't even have to consider it something for the holidays. That was enough to make her willing to indulge you just this once.

Even with her eyes closed, she could practically feel the excitement radiating off of you as you brought her closer to wherever it was you wanted to take her.

You told her to open her eyes shortly after, and she found the two of you standing in front of one of the many abandoned cabins within the forest. She didn't even hesitate to enter the cabin when you motioned for her to. Kate trusted you.

The sight she saw when she stepped inside was... it was breathtaking, honestly.

The walls and the ceiling were covered in glow-in-the-dark snowflakes and stars, illuminating the cabin in a faint green hue. It wasn't a grand gesture or anything of the sort. It was... it was nice.

The glow of the stars and snowflakes was bright enough to illuminate the cabin but dull and dark enough that she didn't have to shy away from it.

That wasn't the only thing you had planned either. She's not sure how much time and effort you put into doing all of this, but you had set up a little space in the cabin. There was even a small projector set up, as well as some food that you knew she enjoyed.

It's definitely the most romantic thing she's ever experienced. And if this is how you want to celebrate the holidays with her, then she definitely won't mind doing this sort of thing again next year.

HOMICIDAL LIU

Similarly to Jane, Liu hasn't really celebrated the holidays since everything that happened. He knows when that time of year comes around, and it makes him feel nostalgic, but he always found it hard to celebrate alone.

He's the one on this list who'll be most excited to celebrate the holidays with you if you ask him to.

It doesn't matter what you wanna do. If you wanna decorate your home, if you wanna give gifts, if you wanna make a meal, if you wanna just stay in and watch some movies and order takeout then he's down.

Sully doesn't care for the holidays and he finds the whole time of year to be annoying, to be honest, so you'll only be celebrating with Liu.

And you decided that you wanted to decorate your home a bit for the holidays. It was a simple way to celebrate the holidays, and you didn't even have to leave your home to get any decorations since you had some stuffed away in a box in your closet.

When you had told Liu that that was your plan, he was eager to join you. It's been so long since he's been able to do anything for the holidays, and he was just... really excited to finally have someone to spend them with.

You made sure to put on some music to play in the background while the two of you got to decorating, and you'd tell him where to put certain things if he didn't know what to do with them.

You two chat with each other as well during all this, sharing random memories and stories from your childhoods. Some were happy, some were sad. Sometimes, Liu would trail off mid-story and you'd have to change the subject to something lighter.

At some point, when a particularly romantic song played, you set down the decoration you were holding and pulled Liu away from the one he was setting out so you could take a break and dance with him.

It got the brightest smile out of him. The brightest one you've ever seen.

The bitter sadness and nostalgia that comes with the holidays lingered. It would always linger, honestly, but it was easier to deal with when he's with you.

And he was excited to make new memories with you. Ones that'll make him smile when the holidays roll around again.

[paper-gold-theories]

*spoilers for those who have not read Chapter 10 - 14 of The Risky Heist*

Villainous Arenque News | Last Minute | EXCLUSIVE | Miss Heed victim of a cruel attack by a mob of villains seeking to silence her

[Translation]

Arenque news where we bring you the impartial and safe truth. This is Melissa Lead with breaking news. Yesterday, the superheroine Miss Heed was attacked by a group of villains who broke into the recovery institute where she was hospitalized. The villains in question were trapped and taken to the maximum security prison. Fortunately, the superheroine was unharmed. However, the authorities indicate that this was an attempt to silence the heroine from exposing new evidence that will completely change the false accusations of which she was accused of. The superheroine will be released and will give a live statement next Friday in which she will reveal the injustice she was subjected to. I think I speak for everyone when I say "Sorry Heed. We miss you".

Here are some observations I noticed from the video:

- Unlike the previous two Arenque News, P.E.A.C.E appears to be acknowledging the other people Miss Heed's mind controlled instead of just focusing on the villains.

(Part 1)(Part 2)

- But it looks like instead of saying Miss Heed's mind controlling Villains is good they instead paint the image of Miss Heed actually innocent of mind controlling people. Showing the inconsistency of the once sided news.

- There will be a live interview with Miss Heed next Friday 🤩 so stay tuned everyone!

- Looks like these are some of the Villains who were arrested in The Risky Heist. I wonder if we will be seeing more of them. I remember Black Flame from the orientation videos 😂 and he was seen in Noctis in The Shrunken Rescue.

- The photo in the video and thumbnail below is obviously faked to make it look like Miss Heed just got out of rehab and was traumatized after being attacked by Villains, in order to gain sympathy from the public and even putting up a sympathy sad act with her quivering bottom lip and opening one eye as if to check if people have fallen for her lie.

In reality in Chapter 10 Miss Heed was in her private yacht while everything is being taken care of her to clear her image so that she can be a hero again. And seeing as how she looked different from how Flug saw her, she probably got a makeover, redyed her hair and got contacts to keep up the image that her eye color and hair is natural and also look good for the image being taken.

(In her Q &A she lied and said that the hearts in her eyes are natural, so I assume she also wants to keep the image that hair color is natural as well, a hint about her wanting people to think her hair is pink is mentioned in her description in Chapter 10 which says "her hair is not naturally pink.")

And perhaps she is also using eye drops to make it look like she is crying and basically "in tears" because of the traumatized attack and the unfair injustice she faced of being wrongly accused of mind controlling people.

- The false image of Miss Heed seeking a comforting hug from Captain Estrada being traumatized also paints a picture that the attack was prevented due to the brave efforts of Captain Estrada and the other police defending Miss Heed from the villains.

- Also The Coach is still supporting Miss Heed despite being mind controlled in Shrunken Rescue, which I theorised, like other heroes he must be bribed by P.E.A.C.E. or be considered a villain by P.E.A.C.E. if he does not side with them)

- Looks like Miss Heed's Suivez Moi perfume is still cancled after her arrest. Seeing as Flug is the only one who knows how to make the perfect perfume for her, I wonder if she will go after Flug again. 👀

Compiling all the news at the bottom of the screen (and my notes and theories in brackets.)

LIVE - THEY SEEK TO SILENCE HEED

LIVE - HEED DECLARED INNOCENT AFTER NEW EVIDENCE

The supervillaness Chimera is at large leaving destruction in her wake. The heroine Van Klampp swears this will not go unpunished.

(Looks like Chimera escapes from being captured by Vanity Bolt and P.E.A.C.E. at the end of The Risky Heist.

Van Klampp is the heroine that appeared in Miss Heed's Instagram where she is seen doing a ribbon cutting for the opening of The Rainy Hills Mall with a mind-controlled Chimera and is referred to by Miss Heed as her friend. I theorised that she might be her and/or her mother, Dr. Rapture's Arch Enemy I wonder if either of them will request a Hero Extermination Service and the Villainous gang will have to fight Van Klampp)

There was a sigting of the heroine "Fortissa" fighting the supervillainess "Mimeniac" on the roofs of a diamond bank near Rockefeller street and Narrow-Row.

(Fortissa means "In The Fort" in Finnish, so I wonder if that relates to her powers and Mimeniac seems like the combination of "mime and maniac" so I wonder if this villainess has mime powers and a costume. I wonder if Mimeniac will request a Hero Extermination Service to defeat Fortissa)

More than 50 villains were captured after the attack against Heed at the Rehabilitation Institute for Heroes.

(In Chapter 5 of The Risky Heist, V.I.R.U.S mentioned only making a deal with 17 people, so there were more villains involved in the heist that didn't make the deal with V.I.R.U.S)

Porccini remains at large, authorities are making arduous efforts to locate him.

(He's probably dead after being dragged away by you know who...👀)

GoldHeart is supporting demonstrations against SHI-BO Inc laboratories, Medtrox pharmaceutical and others companies that use defenceless animals for their results.

(I believe he is only doing this to make himself look good and because SHI-BO Inc is a company with ties with Black Hat Organisation and Medtrox, as mentioned in the previous Arenque News that there was a bust in a merger with Medtrox Corp and Genet Inc, given GoldHeart's defamation Medtrox, it might be a possibility that Genet Inc is a P.E.A.C.E. owed company and after the rejection of the merger, P.E.A.C.E., decides that Medtrox Corp is a more of a competitor instead of a useful ally and exposes them for their animal testing through GoldHeart's stated support for protests against them, despite Genet Inc initially wanting to merge with them in the first place and probably twisting the story that they stoped the merger because they found out about Medtrox Corp's animal testing and making the Genet Inc look like the hero)

P.E.A.C.E. has called on volunteer donors to raise $5 million to finance a rehabilitation campaign for victims with super-powers who were effected by a "component" in Miss Heed's perfumes.

(I theorised previously that P.E.A.C.E. might have paid the heroes off to keep them silent about being mind controlled. This is probably the way they funded it. P.E.A.C.E. basically pushed the problem of compensating the heroes who the mind controlled to their donor supports instead of getting the money from their own organisation from the problem they caused themselves. And basically used labled the donation cause as "rehabilitation campaign" to hide the fact that its a bribe. But there is still no mention of support to the civilians that were mind control.

I also theorised in that during Miss Heed's live statement next Friday, she will probably blame the Villain scientists, mainly Flug, which she mind controlled to work on the formula, for putting the "component" in her perfume which mind controls people and plays the innocent victim saying that she had no idea there was such an evil component in her perfume and felt absolutely betrayed by the evil scientists whom she gave a second chance of redemption to do good and help people with their evil scientific knowledge instead of using it for such a horrendous evil act as mind controlling heroes and civilians.)

[1moreff-creator]

Is anyone still trying to figure out the final code on the MV? The one with (the world of abnormal sentiment dances)? No judgement, I have no idea what's going on with it either, but I'm surprised there's so little discussion of it. I’m making this post to share some observations, and some of the things I’ve tried as I go insane over this MV. Warning, don’t expect anything too revolutionary.

+First, the code doesn't have a direct parallel in the original LGI MV, so no clues there.

+But I did find something possibly peculiar. You know the "find the 'n'" bit that shows up right after it? Well, it's lifted straight from the original LGI video, but the symbol you're supposed to find there is somewhere else.

That's the equivalent from the og LGI.

And there's the n. It's in a completely different spot, which makes me wonder if it's somehow related to the code. The n does pretty much coincide with a number of the images. Here's a transcription of the numbers, with the numbers related to the n in blue (you should still check I didn't fuck anything up though). Italics and bold means I'm not completely sure about the number.

1 4 6 3 1 4 8 4 2 6 8

1 7 3 7 4 1 0 2 0 1 4

3 0 3 6 4 5 1 1 7 5 9

2 3 3 6 8 6 3 6 2 7 8

9 3 0 4 0 4 9 2 3 7 4

3 0 8 2 4 3 6 7 7 2 0

6 9 7 0 5 2 1 7 3 2 6

&

4 3 6 0 7 8 8 6 5 0 3

7 1 8 8 1 1 5 2 5 7 9

8 7 6 4 3 2 1 6 8 6 4

9 5 6 2 8 0 7 1 3 5 3

0 8 5 9 5 6 3 3 0 7 1

7 5 8 1 4 9 8 3 7 5 2

9 1 4 4 4 1 0 0 5 2 6

Does it mean anything? Hell if I know! I have no idea how any of this works!

+Perhaps a more out there possibility is the changed alphabet. I've mentioned it before, but there's a point in the David MV where a modified alphabet shows up.

In case you can't tell, not only are letters listed in both capital and non-capital form, the alphabet ends W-U-X instead of W-X-Y-Z. This changed alphabet is not in the original LGI.

This is the equivalent scene. You can see it's perfectly fine, and as far as I can tell (aka: zero Japanese, just the translation and vibes) the letters aren't listed twice. And this is the video the David MV is based on, there are a lot of similarities.

This would imply, in my mind at least, that the alphabet was changed for a reason. I've seen it interpreted as another sign David doesn't see himself as human, as he doesn't even use the same alphabet, but it feels like a weird way to go about showing that to me.

So, uh, if you're trying something, and some words don't look right, maybe this can help?

+I have no idea what footnote 14 is supposed to be. "Hint: word length of 256". I've seen it suggested that it relates back to Hamlet's "To be or not to be" thing, but... while I think I did see one source with 256 words once, the word count is highly inconsistent throughout the internet, and almost none of them have it as 256 words. I checked with wordcounter.net.

-Wikipedia: 275 words.

-Poetry Foundation: 259 words.

-Poets.org: 276 words.

-Nosweatshakespeare: 275 words.

-Representative Poetry Online: 265 words

-Shakespeare Resource Center: 261 words.

-Litcharts: 273 words.

See the issue here? And now I don't have any idea what footnote 14 is. Here's some other things that it isn't.

+Literature Girl Insane: >256 words.

+Colored lyrics in the MV: ~190 words

+Lemon: Way more than 256 words

+The part of lemon in the MV: 113 words.

+The defense of Socrates: Way more than 256 words.

+The defense of Socrates, but only the part in the MV, and extended to the next end of sentence: I want to cry. 257 words. 257. One off. Why? Why are you like this? Please, someone check the fucking text and tell me I accidentally pasted in a word I shouldn't have. PLEASE-

+That part of the Little Prince in that one part before the tally 5 code: 198 words.

+Undefeated by the Rain poem: 139 words (in English Wikipedia, or 180, in the English translation found in Spanish Wikipedia, because my life can't just be easy so apparently the English version of the poem is different in different languages of Wikipedia what-)

+Just the correct/incorrect code: The most is 247 characters, if you include "correct13" and "incorrect".

+Yamanashi, the story "kapukapu" comes from: Thousands of words.

I didn't check anything else, but I can't for the life of me find what this is referring to. And it feels important, seeing as it's on the goddamn equal sign. Maybe it’s one of those excerpts from that part of the MV right before the “correct/incorrect” code? I don’t know.

If it helps, I’m pretty sure the code’s going to translate to something related to Xander, seeing as his numeral flashes on screen right before that. And because of that, it’s possible this 256 word thing refers to some kind of revolutionary speech or text or something the like.

How would the footnote matter? Well, you know the ampersand symbol (&) that shows up between the numbers?

Maybe, if we put the numbers on both rows together:

14 43 66 30 17 48 88 46 25 60 83

17 71 38 78 41 11 05 22 05 17 49

38 07 36 64 43 52 11 16 78 56 94

29 35 36 62 88 60 37 61 23 75 83

90 38 05 49 05 46 93 23 30 77 41

37 05 88 21 44 39 68 73 77 25 02

69 91 74 04 54 21 10 70 35 22 66

Then reference whatever text is 256 words long, we can assign each number a word. Possibly, we would only start where the n appears, just to give that some meaning.

Like, here's what you get if you do that with the Wikipedia version of "To be or not to be", starting with the 05 the n represents (starting from the beginning gives you a completely nonsensical message, I didn't even go all the way).

to - sleep - to - and - dream - of - against - to - die - opposing - to - that - and - no - them - consummation - to - to - fortune - be - devoutly - death - die - not - the - and - question - to - and - arrows - ‘tis

Like, that almost sounds like it works, but obviously we would need to find the actual text of 256 words, which isn’t the Wikipedia version of the Hamlet speech. I also tried with the Socrates text, but I don't think it works (from the n you get, like, "O - but - O - word - ashamed", and that's going to be in there even if you start from the beginning).

I also tried some kind of alphabet cypher thing, both with the regular alphabet and with the modified alphabet, and while I would like second opinions on account of my skill issues, I didn’t get anything.

If that’s not what the ampersand is for, here's what you get if you add the numbers together instead of just putting them next to each other:

5 7 12 3 8 12 16 10 7 6 11

8 8 11 15 5 2 5 4 5 8 13

11 7 9 10 7 7 2 7 15 11 13

11 8 9 8 16 6 10 7 5 12 11

9 11 5 13 5 10 12 5 3 14 5

10 5 16 3 8 12 14 10 14 7 2

15 10 11 4 9 3 1 7 8 4 12

It looks like it could be translated to hex almost perfectly, with the 16s possibly just translated to 10s, but I don't know what to do with it. I tried converting to hex and just putting it in as a Tumblr image URL, but nothing. Though there’s a chance I just didn’t do it right, I guess. I even took the first part up to the "n" and put it in th goddamn tally 5 page just in case it did something, but no. I tried the "word association" thing with the Hamlet thing as well, but nothing. Also tried alphabet cypher, even with the modified alphabet, and nothing. But again, any cypher cracking I tried to do should be taken with a grain of salt, since I’m a bit of an idiot at it.

One thing I didn’t do, simply because I don’t know how to, is try to use column cyphers. You can look them up and try them yourself, but I sorta doubt that’s the answer.

Finally, it’s a possibility “world length of 256” is actually some kind of cypher key. Like, not whatever it’s referencing, just “word length of 256” as a key. I severely doubt it, but if anyone wants to try it, be my guest.

Why am I telling you all this? Well, I kinda just wanted to tell someone, I guess. I’m going insane over most of the MV anyways, might as well share a bit of the madness. Also because of the content drought caused by me working on the MV video which is coming I promise but it’s going to take a while-

Anyways, thanks for reading my inane ramblings for so long! Take care!

[perotovar]

get to know me tag ♥

tagged by the lovely @pascalpvnk thank you, honey!! <3

1. Were you named after anyone?

technically, yes? my parents had a ton of boy names picked out, but no girl names (this is funny to me now as someone that falls into the genderqueer/nonbinary camp) but my mom was working in the electronics department at fred meyer in the mid 90s and a customer came in with the name "erin" and she was reminded of erin moran from happy days and she went "i've always liked that name" and here i am lmao

2. When was the last time you cried?

uhhh i think a tiktok made me cry a few nights ago lol

3. Do you have kids?

(did i have to do all that for an answer? no, but i did)

i'd be down for being a different kind of daddy tho 😉😌

4. What sports do you play/have played?

i played softball for a little bit but i got bullied pretty hard so i stopped. i discovered music a couple years later tho so it worked out in the end

5. Do you use sarcasm?

clearly we've never met if you're asking lmao

6. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

eyes/faces

7. What’s your eye color?

blue/grey

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

9. Any talents?

i've been playing the violin (inconsistently) for 20 years, does that count?

10. Where were you born?

washington state

11. What are your hobbies?

video games, making gifs, and reading fanfiction

12. Do you have any pets?

yes, my little psycho baby cat, tilly

13. How tall are you?

5’2"

14. Favorite subject in school?

well, i'm currently in school and so far my favorite classes have been orchestra, human sexuality, and history of the far east. my current astronomy and humanities classes are pretty cool too!

15. Dream job?

growing up, it was to tour in a band, but now it's to be a part of a symphony that makes score music for movies and/or video games

np tags: @sp00kymulderr @undercoverpena @mrsmando @kedsandtubesocks @for-a-longlongtime @chronically-ghosted @deathwife @qveerthe0ry @5oh5 @covetyou @userparamore and anyone else that wants to <3

[stone-stars]

if you ever wanted to talk about the usage of growing pains, i would be all ears. obviously no pressure or expectation tho

oh boy DO i want to talk about the use of growing pains! (also called drained.) (actually, more often called drained, but i like growing pains as a name better, and if murph's going to credit names inconsistently i'm going to take liberties. sue me, brian.)

so, growing pains is used in two places: the shadowfell arc in bahumia, and sirenloch in eldermourne. no c3 uses yet* (small disclaimer about that under the cut, along with timestamps of the uses)

there's a reason i like "growing pains" as a name. growing pains is this song that comes up for... the pain of change. growth and love can be good, but it also hurts.

growing pains is for trying to find a way to save vampire!hardwon, it's for rosa's urn being broken (and deadeye saying he'll help rebuild the church), it's for deadeye fading away, lydia being missing when scrying on her (and moonshine lying to hardwon about it), and moonshine breaking down after she learns about her father from erdan (and hardwon/bev/paw paw finding her).

it's for henry realizing that he was looking at his past with rose colored glasses, and for zirk cutting stella off with a final goodbye and a rope trick.

growing pains is a song that says love can't change things. y'know, deadeye's help can't bring rosa back. and he was going to die the moment he was freed. moonshine lying to hardwon doesn't make lydia okay. there's nothing moonshine can do to change jolene being turned away by erdan. henry loved izzy, and she loved the idea of him. zirk can care for stella, and know she's bad for him.

but... it also says that the love matters. like. choosing to care, choosing to love, choosing to offer kindness, it matters. hardwon's friends don't give up on him when he's turned. deadeye remembers how to be kind, and then dies feeling more love than he's felt in decades. hardwon knows moonshine cares; moonshine doesn't have to cry alone. izzy and henry didn't work out, but there's hank jr. stella takes to the road, not the scales.

it can't change everything. but it's worth something.

perhaps my favorite use of growing pains (and the one that i think describes the song best) is the one that starts as deadeye fades: "yeah, i know i'm down a hand, and an eye, and a life, but i got a soul, and a family, and i finally know which is worth more."

(as a side note, it's interesting to me that the eldermourne take on growing pains is... more bleak than the bahumia one. like, izzy and henry. stella and zirk. as much love as henry and zirk give, it's a two way street. izzy wasn't forced into divorcing henry, she chose different priorities. and if stella doesn't choose to change, zirk can't force her. but the thing about it with those two is... it still matters to zirk and henry. that they loved. that they tried. so yeah, it's still worth something.)

(a secondary side note is that growing pains has a best friend (song it's often used with) called gutless. which, despite the name, is actually much more optimistic than growing pains. i'm not going to get into all the uses here, but it is used a lot in the shadowfell especially for deadeye and vampire!hardwon when they are letting themselves love and be loved-- like deadeye coming around, or hardwon having a heart to heart with the boobs where moonshine offers to reincarnate him. it's also used for zirk in early eldermourne, as he remembers the kind of person he was around stella and the flashback to that little girl when he knew it needed to change.)

(*c3 disclaimer is that, while there's no credited uses of growing pains/drained in c3, it's possible that there is an uncredited one that i haven't gotten to yet, since i'm not done going through and taking music notes on c3)

growing pains uses:

61 - 1:16:21 - Talking about ways to save Vampire Hardwon

63 - 1:00:56 - Rosa's urn is broken / Deadeye agrees to help rebuild the church

64 - 2:31:08 - Deadeye starts to die / fade

68 - 17:51 - Scrying on Lydia, but not seeing her

68 - 1:22:56 - Moonshine cries after learning about her dad and gets a hug from Erdan and Bubbles

68 - 1:24:07 - Paw Paw, Hardwon, and Bev find Moonshine crying

-

28 - 44:23 - Henry remembers his relationship with Izzie (the rose-colored glasses he's been using)

28 - 46:54 - Henry remembers his jean jacket (the rose-colored glasses he's been using) -- (this is a joke use. i'm including it for completion's sake but i want to be so clear this is a joke.)

29 - 43:32 - Zirk says goodbye to Stella

[horizon-verizon]

I'm YOU but I'm crossing my fingers that the Alicole thing is a lie. I can't take the crazy writing decisions of this show anymore!! Can someone in the writing room give consistency to TG?! Certainly the blacks were robbed and diminished but they are also moderately consistent in their writing

I swear I'm crying and pulling my hair, hitting my head to see if a concussion makes any of this make sense. Alicent "you are the threat Aegon", Alicent "OMG they planned an usurpation?!" Alicent "she will kill my children", Alicent "UPS my son killed hers", Alicent "I want his eye", Alicent "Aemond be good to those guys ❤️" Alicent "extramarital sex is bad", Alicent "Cole is the exception". What do you want Alicent?! What do you really believe in?! This goes beyond being hypocritical and using patriarchy to her advantage, What Alicent believes from one chapter to the next changes according to the need of the script. Just give that poor woman some consistency, the cognitive dissonance can't be that strong 😭

If I have to grab Show!Alicent and analyze her motives, what she wants and what she is... I'm left blank. She is a plot device that instead of allowing her to move the plot they kept her locked away and untouchable. She's not nuanced, she's inconsistent.

I can't be bothered, I've long given up on the show. I'm here for memes, article links, the dragons, and enjoying being proven right as obnoxious as that seem or is. To me, this show and its writers have been obnoxious, sexist, and condescending. Sure the dragons will be entertaining if maybe not as colorful as they should be--which might just be a trailer-specific dilution to otherwise make the preimeire that much more visually stunning--but I have a sneaking suspicion the writing will fall too short for other characters or contradict itself again.

Alicole will be just hilarious to me.

But to get into Alicent's character (bc I can't resist):

"OMG they planned an usurpation?!"

I believe it wasn't that they planned a usurpation, but that she was left out of their plans and those plans being to murder Rhaneyra. About the murdering Rhaenyra part, I do look 👀 at her, bc...this is a usurpation and you have already tried to get this women/her kids' lives ruined on multiple occassions or put those kids' lives in danger! Clear inconsistency. However, the fact that these men planned without including her at all is definitely a good thing in terms of her hypocritical characterization--the leopards have eaten her face. It's just her immediate desire to save Rhaenyra out of "love" is some crazy ass bullshit.

Alicent "she will kill my children", Alicent "UPS my son killed hers"

By the 2nd I take it you meant her surprise in how Aemond could have ever killed her kid during an envoy mission before Rhaenrya could try to any of them, thus immediately proving herself/Otto wrong. I'm fine with this actually. Again, describes and paints her hypocrisy, and the problem is that she then continues (by the trailers) try to diminish it as Aemond wanting semi-righteous revenge. To me, despite the whole kin-slaying being a huge cultural no-no, Alicent is also betraying Viserys' and going against his word before Aemond kills Luke. She has always been this way.

Alicent "extramarital sex is bad", Alicent "Cole is the exception".

Same as above. Alicent may make herself-Criston the exception bc she is at least "hiding" her relationship and (MAYBE, if it began after Viserys died) it was not while she was married...as if this would matter to the Andal-Faith patriarchal authorities of womanly behavior and totally save them from their condemnation?! Think of Otto's reaction if he were to know? He would either be as horrified and shocked, or he already knows and keeps mum bc it is towards his benefit but he'd still resent & be disgusted with her or accuse her of being sluttish privately as if he's the paragon of sexual ethics. Again, perfectly shows her hypocrisy.

Really, it's that she doesn't have her bk!counterpart's ruthless politicking except in one episode out of 10 (the 6th one). It's ruined by the implication that she cannot really think or reason bc she was SAed for most of her married life and pimped out, which spells some disturbing, oversimplifying implications for SA victims and esp those who are femme, female identifying, or women/girls. From the already-there notion of femininity being innately "irrational", creative, and nonintellectual.

But I also ultimately agree with you abt her being more a plot device than a character who does what the script of the day requires her---once more, bc she's forced to delusionally see possible friendship in Rhaenyra AND bc she doesn't have a clear, steady, personal motive separate from the stuff Otto-the-individual imparts on her and that guides her actions aside from blind envy and a need to see everyone conform towards the "peace for the realm" that she herself doesn't even follow. Not like with Rhaenyra's desire to find some sort of functioning and the least self-erasing compromise b/t duty and happiness/autonomy when we see her w/Aemma.

We never truly established what Alicent wanted at the core--in the bk, that was the highest rank, prestige, etc. possible for a woman. In the first season, all the possible possibilities and things you can see in Olivia's portrayals show a woman wanting to find final validation within the system...but we needed a more concrete aim aside from her jealousy and other than fear of her kids dying, which is what we were left with. Show!Alicent went wherever the wind took her (the wind here Otto, perceived expectations of her, and her own resentments). That's the heart of the grand inconsistency, I think. The void that is this character.

They never replaced Alicent's loss of ambition with something just as self-serving than just "she should suffer like me" that guides and justifies that inner feeling into the real world. Something that would keep her interesting and engaged with the war players.

Rhaenyra still has huge issues in her characterization that I already went over in other posts. This article by some Substack writer also gets into it, but overall, Rhaenyra is more steady & concrete than Alicent.

[dnfao3tags]

DNF Reclist - Theme: LGBTQ+

pride month may be over but lgbtq+ pride stands strong all year long! marking the end of june, here are some queer related fics for you to read and hopefully relate to.

Pride Parade

— Radio Wires (Soldered To My Heart) by ivegivenuponyou (expl. | comp. | 7k)

Dream and George celebrate their first pride together.

— we sing it proudly by jack_not_found (teen | comp. | 3k)

the first time george goes to pride, and the first time george feels like he belongs at pride.

Sexuality

— revelation by ffnppnOF (ffonippop) (expl. | comp. | 28k)

There’s nothing wrong with George. Everyone tells him so. But nobody has ever known anything because if nothing was wrong with George, he wouldn’t be suffering the way he is, rosary around his neck more like a collar or a rope, tying him to a lady he can’t love and a man he’s not allowed to love. George’s God is a lover of purity, and he forgives him. George’s lover is purity incarnate, and she loves him sweeter than he deserves. George’s guilty pleasure has eyes the color of ivy and damnation and apples that fall from trees too early. Come Sunday, George will be gone, gone, gone.

— zero by saintaches (expl. | comp. | 63k)

Dream isn't sure when George became so fucking pretty, but he's certain he can't fall in love with him. They're both omegas, after all.

note: this still counts in my books

— Fantasize About by genovashroom (expl. | wip | 5k+)

At twenty-six, George is terminally alone and having a long overdue sexuality crisis. The soulmark on his wrist says what it has since he was twenty: Clay. Unmistakably a man’s name. He’s tired of burying his head in the sand, and hoping things will sort themselves out without him. He’s tired of pretending if he wishes it away hard enough, the name will change to a woman’s. And so, in order to come to terms with his prophesied homosexuality and self-destructive loneliness, he pulls a Hail Mary and calls a phone sex line, where he meets Dream.

— r/WhoTheFuckIsDNF by furculaed (teen | comp. | 30k)

I (22 M) fell in love with my best friend (25 M) and I don’t know what to do. I love him, please help.

note: some more reddit fics that fit here, here and here

— drink it down by 21questions (mat. | comp. | 3k)

George's a storm. Dream's a hurricane. Somehow, they mix.

— i wanna stay here forever by cqfnce (teen | comp. | 3k)

Dream and George talk about love, sexuality, and metaphors on the couch in the house built for them

— Pink Carnations by ivegivenuponyou (mat. | comp. | 7k)

Dream asks him about his love life sometimes, pesters him with questions about if he wants a girlfriend, if he’s ever had a girlfriend, if he even likes girls at all, and Sapnap laughs along, teasing him in the same way. It’s always the same answers. No, yes, mind your business. Not always in that order. He’d rather spend his time on the phone with his friends, anyway. He’d take Dream’s laughter in his ears over the company of anyone else.

— What You Want by Bagelrites (SleepyAmie) (mat. | comp. | 2k)

A failed attempt at sex leaves Dream a crying mess, and George is there to comfort him, despite all his fears to the contrary.

Genderqueer 

— boys and girls and punctuation by ffnppnOF (ffonippop) (mat. | comp. | 7k)

George’s identity is fortified heavily by his self expression, and the ways in which he expresses himself is constantly changing, constantly shifting, constantly inconsistent. But he’s always found security in knowing that, no matter how inconsistent he may be, no matter how far away he strays from masculinity, he’s still a boy. And there is safety in that. It’s the one consistent thing he has. But recently, everything he’s ever known about being a boy has been fracturing. The next most constant thing he’s ever known is Dream.

— Pretty Boys by Anonymous (mat. | comp. | 2k)

george has a crisis

note: also sexuality related!

— my girl’s made of peaches and soft grass and the moonlight by timelimez (expl. | comp. | 9k)

“George is like, Dream’s girlfriend or something,” Sapnap said, the rest of the Discord call erupting in laughter. “You’re so stupid.” George huffed, leaning back in his chair with a pout that no one could see. He wasn’t streaming, but one of their friends was, meaning that the line would inevitably be clipped to hell and back.  The weirdest part, though, was that hearing the word girlfriend be used to refer to himself made George feel… something. He didn’t quite know yet. But it wasn’t a bad feeling, that was for sure. “Aw, George, it’s okay. You can be my little girlfriend if you want.” Dream teased, before erupting in a wheezing laugh that was soon backed by the laughter of the rest of their friends. “Whatever.” George laughed it off. It was definitely not whatever.

Part 2 of it’s all for you (it’s always for you)

its pretty late and this was kind of a last minute decision thing so that's all for now! check out my sexuality themes or genderqueer tag for more :] send me in more recs if you'd like. happy late pride.

will post june's roundup a little later this week.

[scarletcitrus]

pagan min as a dragon.............this idea has been in my head for so long i’ve got like prototype pagan dragons and shit but this is my final design for him

if you want to see me go in-depth about him for reasons that are related to mental illness (i have it and it is his fault) there is more :)

okay so. i’m going to explain his entire design since it makes me happy and i’m going to start with the colors

obviously he’s super flashy and extravagant in canon so i couldn’t just Not let that cross over here. i tried to make him look like a living rainbow without actually making him a rainbow BUT i do have my reasons for each of the colors.

the golden orange-y and yellow parts are obviously, well, to represent gold and the fact that he is ummmmmmm Technically royalty despite stealing the throne? the combination of blue on gold is relative to the golden path and how he and ishwari were a thing yada yada . red is for the primary color his army wears and for lakshmana because her whole shrine is decked out in the color red and pink is for his lovely suit:)

...i couldn’t make it that vibrant pink his suit actually is or it wouldn’t have fit as well into the rest of the colors. also. all the colors are taken off the rakshasa pagan thingy but i gave them meaning to make it fancier ++++ it wasn’t my intention but the way his colors fade into each other reminds me of all the colorful ?dust (i don’t know what it is. is it just powder) in far cry 4 so that makes me happy

speaking of rakshasa pagan, the other parts of his design are very much based off of it. specifically, the bird one in shangri-la. i included the way pagan’s rakshasa face looks as best as i could but the rest of the little intricate details i all sponged off of the bird, like the armor and the crown and the huge talons. the crown i felt especially needed to be included if nothing else bc well. y’know LMAO

the vaguely peacock-looking feathers are because that seems to be his motif for himself and his army and kyrat or whatever tf i don’t really know. all i know is i see peacocks associated with him and BAM he gets some pretty feathers

p.s. ik the pose is weird in that image let’s all hold hands and pretend that he’s climbing down from something

okay bear with me . the wing size might be inconsistent but shhh don’t look at that it isn’t there also thanks to tumblr for maybe tanking the quality of these (we’ll see) . ANYWAY

he gets multiple limbs because of the golden statues (or statue singular? is there just one? i haven’t played it but god i want to) that are in his dlc and it gives me another reason to stretch the definition of “dragon” which is always super fun for me :)

his face is mostly immobile aside from being able to blink and breathe and close/open his mouth but it’s like his jaw is on hinges with the way it can only move up and down (and stiffly) because i want it to really feel like he’s got a mask on or something. like if you look at the rakshasa bird its face isn’t all that. mobile. it is made of some kind of metal i think and i tried to mimic that effect + the idea of his mask in the dlc

another p.s.! let’s all keep holding hands and pretending . this time he’s landing after flying. he doesn’t normally stand on two feet

his wings are heavy to the point that his front legs can’t really support him properly sometimes even though he’s got two pairs, so he often uses his wings as support to walk like how wyverns do. he feels like it’s inconvenient because he doesn’t want to get his feathers dirty and without a beak/easy way to close his mouth it’s annoying for him to preen them but that’s just an L he has to take

and this is just him flying 4 literally no reason. i struggle drawing animals/beings that have wings in flight (and also i struggle with the tucked-in legs that come with those) so i wanted to see if i could. i think it turned out okay? maybe

i hope this made sense and that i wasn’t totally incoherent about this! thank you for reading (if you did) (and perhaps expect more dragons... i’m a big fan of them lol)

[onebizarrekai]

please tell me everything you know about the chao garden i've been hyperfixated on Sonic for the past two months and would like to know everything

everything is SO MUCH

here let me paraphrase a beginner's guide to expanded chao knowledge

infinite animals: the chao gardens have probably the easiest useful glitch to perform in any game ever. in fact, the game nigh doesn't meet its full potential unless you know this glitch and is more like a gameplay element. basically you can take any animal, line yourself up with the chao and place the animal down right in front of it without actually giving it to the chao, and it'll absorb the stats from the animal and you can use the animal again. most people who've gotten into the game probably know this glitch because it's so easy and common. plus, because there are required emblems achieved by beating races, players probably learn the glitch in order to get those faster. the glitch is technically easier to do in sadx because the animal stays in place when you do the glitch, whereas in sa2b, the animal flies a short distance away from you. you can also technically do this glitch with chaos drives (or as I still habitually call them, 'crystals') in sa2b, but they raise stats in such low amounts and their physics are so floaty they're not really worth it.

secondary evolutions: after evolving a chao from a baby to an adult, as they age, they gradually start changing form again and this form is determined by a secondary stat. they don't technically evolve again, but if you have a swim chao and raise up its fly stats at this point, it'll shift into a variation of itself that can change at any time by simply raising a different stat. you can do this with any type and any stat. with three 'alignments' (neutral, hero, dark), five types (swim, fly, run, power, normal), and five more secondary types (swim, fly, run, power, normal), that gives you 75 different possible forms, and this isn't including numerous possible 'combination' forms that would happen by only changing them halfway between forms. these secondary evolution forms tend to be the most visible when their age is 4.

breeding starter chao: pretty much every real 'chao recipe' that exists in this game is done by using the starter chao (the ones you get when you go into a garden for the first time). you can breed them with any flat color chao that you buy, normal or shiny, to get a 'starter chao version' of that color, otherwise known as a two-tone chao. there are 15 flat colors and 15 shinies in the game, meaning 30 possible two-tone variations.

tiny chao garden: the tiny chao garden's practical use is pretty much that it lets you get jewel chao (besides gold and silver) if you have a gba adaptor. yeah, you can actually play it if you want to, but given how much easier it is to raise chao in 3D sonic, you're pretty much gonna just farm rings (and cry) in it. you can use the chao they give you or you can transfer one of your own into it. you have two minigame options depending on the version, meaning if you're trying to get jewel chao, you're going to be playing these games… a lot. there are versions that come with certain gba sonic games, but if you plug an empty gba in, you can still play it. jewel chao types range from 500 to 20,000 rings in cost. in my past experience, the least tedious minigame was the no-cartridge sadx selection of minigames. you can also use the tiny chao garden to transfer chao from sadx to sa2b and vice versa, but only if you have a 2D sonic that has the tiny chao garden built into it.

shiny jewel chao: I don't think jewel chao are actually intended to have an effect on breeding due to their inconsistent results, but they do. if you breed them with some form of shiny chao specifically, you can get results that vary from translucent chao, chao that are just existing shiny two-tones but are made with the wrong colors and invisible chao (which I'm pretty sure are a bug). there's only one unique chao shiny two-tone that you can get this way, which is by breeding a shiny pink and a jewel. I grew up knowing this chao to be called a carribean chao because of its colors.

hats: in case you had no idea how to get your chao to wear stuff on its head in sa2b, that's what skeleton animals are for.

ring tricks: these two games store their rings in their main game save file and store the chao in a separate chao garden file. if you have two memory cards, you can copy the save of the main game onto the other card, make a hefty purchase in the chao garden, delete the sonic save file on the original memory card and copy it back over from the other to get your rings back while keeping whatever you purchased because it was saved in the chao garden.

letter stats: every chao is born with a list of letter stats, which determines the multiplier by which their stat increases when they level up. in sa2b, you can check these by just taking them to the doctor, but in sadx, you have to figure them out yourself by checking how much their stats go up when they first level up. if you forgot to check, you can just divide their current stat total by the level they're at to see the rate at which they're increasing. anything that's increasing at a rate of 21 or higher per level-up is in pretty good shape and is a B or higher. A is the highest stat a chao can be born with at random (without breeding, because chao can inherit stats from the parent chao), which increases at around 24 or 25 per level. if it has an A stat, you'll probably want to evolve it into the corresponding type in order to increase it to an S, which is the highest letter stat. once they evolve, it'll adopt a higher multiplier of 28-ish per level or higher. if the chao's stats are increasing slowly at a rate between 11-13, it has an E stat, which is the worst one. if your chao reincarnates, you'll have an opportunity to evolve it again, so you can raise another letter stat. I've seen people say "stats are pretty important, so if you want to know them, you may want to consider transferring them to sa2b from sadx in order to find them out" but recently I think it's pretty fun to calculate them yourself.

in the process of making this post I also ended up learning that apparently luck is a real hidden stat in sa2b which APPARENTLY is raised at a doubled rate if you use chaos drives. which… might explain why I tend to have awful luck in races in that game, if that's a thing.

arguably this isn't really everything and this is pretty rushed but also I've been sitting here for like an hour so this is what I've got for you 💦💦

[zakku972]

So, thoughts on the #FF16 demo? A thread:

 I’ll break my thoughts down into a few categories, then a summary (with a mild spoiler). Also note, I do recognize that this is a demo build from probably a while ago, so some things might have changed compared to the gold release of the game.

 First up, accessibility options:

For the core settings in the game, I did enjoy that there were subtitle size/subtitle background/speaker options. Turned all of those on as soon as I could, and it was very noticeable. I do wish that there was an option for increasing the standard screen text/icon size though – I was having trouble with telling if the icons were referring to L1 or R1. Another thing I thought was a very good move in particular was being able to change audio cues into visual ones. I didn’t use it myself, but it’s a great step in the right direction!

For gameplay accessibility options, I like that they included a “Story” option for those of us that don’t usually play action games, as well as including accessories to make the gameplay a little more forgiving. I didn’t end up using these, but I’m happy more people will be able to play this game now than not.

One last thing for this section, and I’m not sure if this counts as an accessibility option, is that you can bring up a glossary of places and characters if you pause during a cutscene. I may not use this (due to the aforementioned screen text size issue), but it’ll be great for people that have to take extended breaks when playing the game, since it looks like this story will have many locales and characters.

Now, onto presentation/graphics:

Most of the colors in the demo seemed a bit…washed out? All of the lights, magic, and even the title screen were bright and colorful – plus I’ve seen some video of deeper gameplay that doesn’t make me feel too worried – but I know my TV’s automatic darkening settings had a field day. The actual graphics and stability were really gorgeous though, even though the sometimes drab colors. I played in performance mode and didn’t notice any hiccups at all, though I have heard that the FPS even in performance mode aren’t a consistent 60, that they range from 50-60. I’m sure it’ll be a little more consistent in the full release.

Next, some gameplay:

Here’s where I have some mixed feelings. First, I do want to say that I thoroughly enjoyed the gameplay of the combat. As far as what we’re able to do, it comfortably feels like it’s leaning more into a Devil May Cry style than Kingdom Hearts. I did feel like there could have been a bit more “punch” or impact to the combat, but I know I’ve got Monster Hunter on the brain when it comes to sword hitting flesh, so I may not be the best to ask about that.

The Eikon fight did seem to suffer a bit more from that, as it seemed that there wasn’t too much visual or vibrational feedback in the fight. But again, this isn’t the final game and we weren’t even in the role of Ifrit yet, so hopefully it will feel a little better then. This “floatiness” also carries over into the regular movement, in my opinion. It just seemed like outside of combat, that Clive was running around in buttered boots with some inconsistencies, like the automatic jumping or climbing, during terrain traversal speeding him up just a hair too late if you approach them while walking. It was a little jarring to look at. The ladder climbing and crouching under debris looked and felt great though!

Finally, the story:

Hey look, it’s Game of Thrones! But actually, it’s not! Lots of people have made the comparison to the hit TV show/book series, and lots of other people have answered with the fact that the first Final Fantasy predates A Song of Ice and Fire, but here are the brass tacks: Both GoT and FF16 are trying to tell a more adult-oriented fantasy stories, and there will obviously be some overlap in how things are portrayed in certain circumstances. Hell, you can see people in the real world acting like this. There may have well been some influence from GoT on FF16 since various mediums do borrow from each other often, but the story and approach for FF16 feels like it’s doing enough unique things to differentiate itself from being a GoT clone.

On the note of that uniqueness, I do enjoy the purported theme of destroying the Mothercrystals’ hold on the world. Generally, crystals in FF games hold the world together. Though they may get corrupted or used to seal some kind of evil, usually only the villain of the story sets out to destroy or liberate the world from them – and I’m excited to potentially take on that role in the role of a character acting from a place of deep trauma.

I have one assorted musing for the lore though – there is a throwaway line near the beginning from a slavemaster: “I’m having my Bearer fill the well, my lord. Best to save what crystals we can, eh?” Are there only a finite number of crystals in the world? Do crystals get more “used up” depending on the magic affinity of who’s using it? I’ve been trying to keep out of the game’s world as much as possible, so it’ll be fun to find out.

Overall, I’d say I’m looking forward to it, as it could tell an amazing story that’s actually fun to play. I’ve never been the biggest fan of turn-based RPGs, and I do like that it’s gameplay is going in a little bit different direction than the Kingdom Hearts/FF15/FF7R style. Some of the color schemes are weird, but that and some of the other issues may have well been taken care of by the time of release. Most of all though, I want to make Anabella pay for everything she’s done and I really hope we get to mete out that justice ourselves. If you can make me hate a character for who they are (and not how they’re written), then you’ve at least got some decent writing.

[thetalkingcrayon]

My First Drawing

Shane Derolf, you may have saved me. When I was young, I had a few books that I'd request to hear before I'd go to sleep. One was called "The Crayon Box That Talked"; it was short and truly uneventful. Even so, it was always in the running. Last night, I decided I wanted to start a blog because I'm exhausted of having an ever-occupied head space. I usually wouldn't pursue an idea that would benefit me because I'm naturally self-destructive with an inconsistent desire to be whole. But this blog idea seemed like one I never wanted to let go of. So, without further ado: I am the talking crayon and I have lots to say. Some days I feel like I'm a healer and some days I feel like I've neglected my own healing. I bet you can only imagine all that falls in between those two. It's a lot, I can tell you that much. And I'll let you in on this "secret", I have no idea either. I'm here to find out and to ask you if you have ever felt the same. 

I wrote this bit last night while I was feeling that gut-wrenching nostalgia and to put a color to it, Canary. You know when a certain early evening sunlight makes you feel like you'd suddenly be okay with falling off your bike? I wouldn't cry this time; I'd do it again and again. I don't know if it's because I miss it or because I might secretly like to fall. It just feels so good to get back up. This all happens quick though, like a breath, just one breath. Then I forget what it was that made me feel that way and I go searching for it until it shows up again. Sometimes I lose hope but I'm loyal, I'll sit by and think about nothing besides you and I'll be here when you're ready. Do I like waiting? Maybe. Maybe not. I mean it, I can't tell you one way or another. Waiting makes me feel irrationally purposeful. Then the minute the patience has paid off, I don't want to do anything besides wait. I'm the poster child for the harmful effects of desiring instant gratification yet a leader who dwells on pragmatics. 

With a longing for the past and a blindness towards the future, 

Canary

[people-wxtching]

let's settle this today.

"the book emphasized annabeth being blonde and white and blah blah blah"

the books were written like a decade ago with no specific race allotted to the main trio. annabeth's descriptions about being blonde, percy having black hair and sea green eyes etc. were merely to make the characters feel like characters rather than a black floating blob wrapped around a big question mark in the reader's imagination.

the official arts and fanarts are what led most of the fandom to envision the main trio as white.

however, annabeth not being blonde or percy not having black hair does not take away any of the main plot of the books. yes maybe those curly black hair is what made you fall in love with percy's character but you need to realise that it has absolutely nothing to do with the plot.

don't try to argue with the gods as a reason because gods clearly don't have DNA which means their children can look like whatever but uh rick himself seemed to have forgotten that many times in the books (but that's not relevant at the moment).

"nOt tO bE rAcIsT-"

stop. you know you're gonna spout some racist bs anyway.

"-but rick said he'd be sticking to the books! he's NOT sticking to the books :((("

sticking to the books generally consists of the adaption being faithful to the plot. the bonds between the characters, the grief, the trauma, the kids being at such a tender age having to go through such harrowing experiences are what the books were about. capturing these major themes as well as the snark, smarts, attitude and so on is what is the main thing one should be focusing on in the show. THAT is what makes a good and faithful adaptation that is true to the books. having a darker skin tone affects nothing.

"but the dumb blonde stereotype-"

i'm aware that a lot of you wanted to see annabeth blonde and prove that blondes can be smart too or whatever it is you guys wanted. however, having annabeth as black fleshes out her character even more, and there could be even deeper characterization than in the books.

plus, if you really wanna see them defeat a dumb blonde stereotype, walker is literally right there??? percy's character is literally about his struggles as a neurodivergent teenager and he's been called stupid and good for nothing his whole life. isn't that exactly what you guys wanted annabeth to do and your main reason to be racist?

to this some might argue that the dumb blonde stereotype is more prevalent in female characters. and EXACTLY. it is. you wanna know why? MISOGYNY. that is essentially where this stems from. and you know who else goes through the same thing every single day with an addition of racism? black women and girls. do you see how that same problem could be discussed in another way? when the root of the problem IS misogyny, is Annabeth being black really changing the actual frustration over the problem at all??? no! it's giving it an even deeper and more prevalent look. what do you not understand here.

if the book annabeth defeating the dumb blonde stereotype has helped you with what you went through, that's great but there are SO many other shows, and also the books themselves (the tv show does not change the books. rick is not jkr. he never said that this is what he meant in the books too. he said they can both coexist because it literally does not matter given how inconsistent he is about descriptions in his own material) that defeat this stereotype. however it is very hard to find media where black women (and also desi characters) are depicted in a positive light as a main character with their own personality and character arcs, without any stereotypes. modernization of series has been going on for ages, I dont know why you guys are crying over the dumb blonde stereotype and thinking it is much more prevalent and a major issue than women of color who have to go through misogyny AND racism at all times throughout their entire life.

it's okay if you always envisioned annabeth as white with blonde hair or percy with black hair and sea green eyes and still want to continue doing the same. no one's stopping you. however, it is important to differentiate between the book percy and annabeth and the show percy and annabeth. the original white cast from the books, the various headcanons about the trio's ethnicities as well as the casting for the show CAN and SHOULD co-exist. the fact that this little detail bothers you as a teen/adult and not my 10 year old brother and other kids I interacted with says a lot.

the pjo book series was mostly white with like two memorable canon characters of colour, both of whom died before the series could end. therefore this casting is very important for the black as well as desi community so kindly, shut your racist ass up and sit down.

and don't you dare hate on these kids.