#the fact that they integrated the familial love song into a romantic love song makes me think.... makes me THINK THAT THIS TUNE

[vaggieslefteye]

MORE THAN ANYTHING - REPRISE ↳ from Hazbin Hotel Season One (2024): 1x08 - "The Show Must Go On"

[theghostbunnie]

Fuck it Mitchell ramble post bc I care about his character alot actually (cringe)

Originally played football later switched to baseball and is regarded as a jock type, though his main passion and hobby is being a guitarist. He writes and vocalizes songs but sees it as being just a part of getting to play guitar if he wants to do it entertainment wise, often rock/pop rock lyrics that don't go far into and generally lack emotional depth, in favor of being catchy. He loves the rockstar aesthetic mainly, and the old timey-esc gentleman one secondarily.

A big huge romantic, very flirty personality who prides himself on being attractive. Brimming with genuine self esteem he thinks highly of himself to the point where he can come across as egotistical, in actuality he doesn't outright think he's better than anybody , just has clear self love is all.

He's an older brother and incredibly family oriented who aligns more maternally in the nature of his behaviors alot of the time. For the majority of his life it was just him and his single father so he's always craved that big family vibe he never got.

He's supposed to have a caring/warm/comforting effect on people in alot of scenarios as well as effectively protective so he's physically big as well as literally usually high temperature and I've used the term "swallowed her/his frame in his embrace" to describe him hugging ppl bc they'll like disappear against him/in his jacket

and also the fact Mitchell takes up alot of space, is aware of it, and doesn't like it !! He's incredibly expressive in nature and talks with his hands but almost strictly keeps them right infront of him. He's also heavily expressive in the face, he prefers to not hurt feelings and stay in his manners but cannot have a poker face easily at all. He can only lie believably when the need/want to do so outweighs any guilt.

Has this thing where he doesn't want to hurt people and never wants to come across as violent or scary. I've described him feeling immense guilt in certain situations when he thinks he has and he gets the overwhelming desire to literally shrink himself down but can't. It's a pure insecurity not really based in any truth or any one past event.

Regulates his emotions very well, seemingly has this endless patience.

Mitch has things integral to the person he believes he is/wants to be. Attractiveness, helpfulness, comforting, being main ones. He'd much rather be a "simple" guy despite his dreams of fame, as in easy going and rather not particularly burdened by anything emotionally, very positive in attitude.

Additionally in being characterized as "simple/basic/normie" alot of his personal tastes reflect that, having very on the nose typical "average" preferences and not falling far outside the box of what's considered normal, he's nerotypical and charming and has functioned his whole life in the center of what's considered socially appealing.

He doesn't like to analyze his negative thoughts at all, much rather get them to go away. He doesn't even like to analyze himself that hard at all either, or his habits. He doesn't know why he needs to be helpful, strong, masculine it's just a role he wants to fill and prides himself on doing so.

He's completely unaware to all his flaws, as he's accidentally a little overbearing at times to his loved ones, even unintentionally patronizing in some circumstances, coming off condescending without meaning to. He wants to be helpful and even specifically has this good samaritan "look out for the little guy" mentality but to do so inherently has to make subconscious judgements on who's deemed a 'little guy' metaphorically or literally.

He likes to think of himself as a guy who has no toxic masculinity, and for the most part doesn't, but what he does have is deeply subconsciously internalized and only ever aimed at himself, a certain ideal he has to be.

On multiple levels he's judging himself on a different caliber than other people, holding things against himself he wouldn't for anybody else, holding himself to a different standard on a plethora of things.

As well as his fear of being scary he doesn't want to be perceived as weak either. To his idea of himself a damnaged or hurt person will never fit that, bad things happen to other people and it's his duty to help them as a friend, lover, whatever he may be to them. This isn't to say he thinks there's something shameful on a personal level to being a person who went through something bad, it just is to him. He's not being good enough if he can't get over it.

Has a fear if he ever does something extreme to give either the impression he's scary or wimpy that'll be how everyone present will veiw him from then on no matter what he's done or can do to fix that image before or after.

Despite having such heavy pride in general, especially in his looks and his ability to be charming/flirty and that having an effect on people, his pansexuality is not something he feels much connection to. He doesn't even view himself as a queer person just a "dude who happens to like dudes too" and experiences alot of comphet without ever realizing it and of course never addressing it

[james-sunshine-potter]

When I said that I would never shut up about ‘peace’ by Taylor Swift being the Jegulus song, I meant it.

It’s the only thing on my mind whilst listening. Here's some examples:

“But I'm a fire, and I'll keep your brittle heart warm” -> James, whose characterised as the sun, promising to keep Regulus warm. Regulus, who was always know for being cold, became the sun for the sun.

“All these people think love's for show, but I would die for you in secret” -> James, whose known for loving loud and open, has a special part of his heart only Regulus will ever see. Regulus, who in fact, did die for James in secret.

“Your integrity makes me seem small, you paint dreamscapes on the wall” -> I feel like this could work both ways. Regulus, whose known for his intellect, and James whose known for his emotional intelligence and empathy.

“I talk shit with my friends, it's like I'm wasting your honour” -> Regulus, who once would talk shit about James to his friends in the past, now realising how wrong he had always been. Now that it feels like he was wasting time and knowledge on him.

"Give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other, Family that I chose now that I see your brother as my brother," -> James, whose usually loud and pretty boisterous, has learnt how to be comfortable with silence, now that silence is with Reg. James, whose brothers with Reg's brother.

"I'd give you my sunshine, Give you my best" -> Regulus, who isn't known for being romantic, or being one with emotions, giving it his all for James, because James can do it with ease.

"But the rain is always gonna come, If you're standing with me" -> Regulus, whose a bad rain cloud in his head, and James, who loves the rain. James who'll be the sun for Regulus, and stand through with him any and every bad day.

In their relationship together, they were able to find the peace they both searched for and needed. The kind of peace only they were able to give each other.

[shit-talk-turner]

About *why* Alex agreed to work with Alexandra:

I'm going to let my imagination run a little wild in this ask (hope thats ok) and share my theory about what happened. Let me know if you see any truth in this!

Personally, I've always wondered if he intended to get as involved as he did.

This is obviously TOTALLY speculative, but I imagine that, coming off the AM tour, Alex must've been somewhat lost. The band had just wrapped what must've felt like the biggest accomplishment/most important tour of their careers. He mentioned in an interview that he could have kept touring and he wasnt eager for it all to end. There must've been some part of him/them that felt like they peaked. I can imagine that would just leave a big "what now?" question hanging over his head.

All his buddies/bandmates were getting married and having babies so that question was answered for them, and he probably felt left behind given that he was single (and by the looks of it not ready for that anyway). Also, with that "peak" and everyone starting families, I'm sure the future of the band was also kind of in limbo.

I imagine Alex must have been running through options of what he could/should do with himself if the band was going to be on an extended hiatus (Solo career? Film scoring? Writing? Producing?) when he got the call from the label about meeting Alexandra. He obviously liked her/her music, but given what she said about them just starting with a song before committing to the whole album, I can see him being more drawn in by the possibility of being to her what Josh Homme was to him, without ever really intending to be such an active/integral participant on the whole album.

He mentioned in another TBHC interview that writing with Alexandra was the first time he'd written with someone else in that way and that he learned a lot from the experience. That makes me imagine that everything happened in kind of a whirlwind. Like he thought he'd be helping her out with a few songs and before he knew it, he was so immersed in this new process and lost in the project that it started to feel like his own. (I also think that feeling creatively invigorated and in sync with someone again probably made him more attached to her, which is what led to any romantic involvement that may have existed).

Ofc it wasn't his project, though, which if he was invested, probably hit him harder whenever he was overruled. This must've given him an itch to apply what he learned and the things he was excited about to something of his own, which I think contributed to him throwing all of himself into TLSP the way he did. (Side note: people here have brought up Louise as a surrogate for Alexandra before, but I actually think Miles took on that role at that time - at least creatively. Alex seems to have carried over a lot of what he learned/took away from his experience with Alexandra and poured it into EYCTE and his writing processes with Miles. Couple that with the fact that EYCTE kind of started because Alex was helping Miles work out some songs for his next album, and the fact that Miles has admitted to looking up to Alex for songwriting advice... it just seems like EYCTE would have let him do everything he was doing with Alexandra while not having to compromise on his vision and being able to call the finished product his own).

If Alex's dedication to the album left as quickly as it came, it would line up with that interview where Alexandra said that one day Alex just kind of unceremoniously told her that they were done working on the album. It'd makes sense that she would walk away from that feeling a little embittered (and maybe used/confused - especially if they did have a fling), while still being appreciative of his help and not wanting to burn that bridge (hence touring with TLSP and the lovely dedication).

Idk. I feel like I just wrote a whole fic in your inbox! 😅 What do you think? Does any part of this hold water?

This mod at least finds this all very insightful, thank you for submitting! I had considered Alex feeling lost but not really the aspect that he might have considered it his project as well, which would give some more potential reasoning for Alexandra's frustration besides just the Alex-focused press. He certainly seems more entwined in it than is typical for a songwriter or producer to be. Like, apparently pre-Alex, Alexandra was writing songs with Linda Perry and it's hard to imagine that she would have gotten more than a passing mention if Alexandra had released an album of those songs, with random session musicians playing the instrumentals, instead. ENDLESSLY fascinating. Feel free to send us more essays any time, anon.

I'll let my co-mod/co-president of Alexandra's fan club chime in...Anyone else have thoughts?

[fa-by]

warning this is big. just to clarify. i’m not a hater nor a shipper. i just happen to be a part of this fandom for a very long time, and i luckily witnessed many stuff back in the 5H days. i came across one of your posts about the laucy storyline and how it’s supposed to be a fake relationship and i can’t help but thinking, why do you skip so many parts of the story? like i get that y’all have certain opinions about this thing being a coverage for camila and lauren’s relationship but why do you skip so many important details which could validate lauren’s feelings towards lucy? just to be a little more specific back in 2015 when lucy reunited with lauren after the incident, before the rumors of their relationship even started, i remember lauren reblogging many shit on tumblr about long distance relationships and how distance means nothing if you truly love someone. of course at that time when laucy as a ship wasn’t even a thing, camren shippers obviously connected these posts to camila but now that we know the story as told by lauren it makes sense that most of these reblogs were about lucy since they were rarely together due to lauren moving around all the time. thus i don’t know if you remember but again in 2015 there was this girl who went to the same school as lucy and admitted that lauren and lucy used to date in middle school, also i think around that time someone posted that photo of lauren and lucy in sociology class if i’m not mistaken . and mind you that all these were before all these laucy rumors gained attention. it was mostly curiosity that led all these lauren girls and camren shippers to find out more about lucy and what part she played in lauren’s life. now with all this added information to your timeline, my question to you is what could possibly stop lauren and lucy from having a fling from 7th grade to lucy’s moving in 2012? i mean lauren might’ve said that she fell in love with her best friend at 15 but she also said that she had an on and off relationship with her for years and many hookups until she finally came to terms with her feelings. so what doesn’t fit here? lauren and lucy could’ve started messing around at 12 until 15 years old and only when lucy left for puerto rico lauren realised she had feelings for her. oh and also i don’t know why you guys keep pushing that narrative but lauren and camila were not best friends in 2012, maybe they did later on but certainly not in 2012. sure they became really close due to x factor but it is impossible for them to become best friends over a few months of knowing each other, like do you guys meet someone and immediately call them your best friend after only a few months of knowing each other? how can you put so much trust in someone over four or five months of knowing them in order to call them your best friend? even lauren herself referred to camila as a very good friend of hers, not best friend. my point is, lauren and lucy had an actual background whilst camila and lauren didn’t, which is why i do believe that lauren had an actual relationship with lucy. and one more thing, maybe i don’t believe that camila was romantically involved with lauren but that doesn’t mean i think she’s straight. hell no. lastly i didn’t come here with the intention to change your opinion about camila and lauren’s relationship, but i did want to remind shippers some things they tend to ignore just to validate a ship which in my opinion is non existent.

I had already answered this ask up here with this post https://fa-by.tumblr.com/post/655883320751702016/for-the-anon-lucy-shipper-who-sent-me-that-long, but whoever sent it to me wasn't satisfied with the answer and sent me another one (which you'll find later in this post). Now I'm speaking directly to you, Anon.

So, let's start with the first one. Let's go in order piece by piece since in the second ask you said that I didn't answer any of your arguments:

- “I'm not a hater nor a shipper” You're not a hater nor a shipper, yet you're here in my blog, a CS blog, to talk and to not so low-key support Laucy. That's why I mentioned you in that way in my last post.

- “why do you skip so many parts of the story?” As I mentioned in the last post, I didn't skip anything important.

- “y'all have certain opinions”. We CS? Why do you first speak in the plural and then only speak to me if you're only talking to me in the first place? I hope that now that I've pointed this out to you, you've realized how that y’all sounds, not a hater nor a shipper Anon.

- “i remember lauren reblogging many shit on tumblr about long distance relationships and how distance means nothing if you truly love someone. of course at that time when laucy as a ship wasn’t even a thing, camren shippers obviously connected these posts to camila but now that we know the story as told by lauren it makes sense that most of these reblogs were about lucy since they were rarely together due to lauren moving around all the time” /// “Now that we know the story as told by Lauren”. Exactly. As told by Lauren, aka the fake story they've been trying to get her to sell for years. Story for a cover. Story full of flaws that don't add up and will never add up in the stories they're gonna declare. Story that precisely for this reason, is and will be modified more and more in order to adapt perfectly to the Camren one to explain and give a sense also of the songs. Story proven over and over again to be PR with real proofs. If you want to believe those reblogs were for Lucy, it's your choice, Anon. I'm certainly not gonna tell you that you can't believe in what you want. Everyone is free to believe in what they want and have their own opinion.

- “thus i don’t know if you remember but again in 2015 there was this girl who went to the same school as lucy and admitted that lauren and lucy used to date in middle school”. So let me get this straight, you just happen to be a part of this fandom for a very long time, and you luckily witnessed many stuff back in the 5H days but you don't know how many people have invented things to get attention and how many others got involved for distribute bullshit for the narrative? You say you were there, and you don't know that this was part of the rumors (not only on L, but also on C and the other girls) that were proven wrong so much so that this information was also removed from the internet? And you say you were there? But more importantly, you prefer to believe something you read (which was even debunked) without a shred of proof just because it validates what you believe? You prefer believing a person who said she knew them just for the attention and who didn't even live in Miami? Ahh. Okay then. It's your choice. But what about what someone who really was in Lauren's circle said? Someone who really knew them and went to school with them (and who, to me, didn't act like a friend in that case)?

You didn't believe her, did you? Of course not. Because it didn't validate what you believe in.

- “also i think around that time someone posted that photo of lauren and lucy in sociology class if i’m not mistaken . and mind you that all these were before all these laucy rumors gained attention”. Regarding the picture, I already proven to you in the last post that it was exactly to get attention and that it was during the PR.

- “Now with all this added information”. I'm sorry, what information? You mean the things I've proven to you to be false or you mean your opinions which are just opinions that actually prove nothing?

- “my question to you is what could possibly stop lauren and lucy from having a fling from 7th grade to lucy’s moving in 2012?”. Oh, let's see. Maybe the fact that she was still young and only in middle school started to realize that she liked girls, but she understood it 100% only later during high school? [If you read my post like you say you did, then you know how I think it really went between them. And this connects to that] Maybe the fact that having gone to those kinds of Catholic schools and having a believing family, she had: “I had homophobia deeply ingrained into my system”? Maybe the fact that “The girls in my social realm, if they even thought you were gay, you were ridiculed beyond belief”? Maybe the fact of how she was mocked at school because she was too confident, too sincere, and too honest, and people didn't like that and therefore that was one of the reasons why she thought there was something wrong with her and that she had to suppress ​this part of herself because she really wanted to integrate so much? Maybe the fact that one of her irrational fears still today is what other people think of her? Maybe the fact that she's always been a people pleaser and wanted people to like her because she couldn't accept that people despised her? Maybe the fact that wanting to adapt and consequently having to suppress herself, obviously also included her being queer? Maybe the fact that she didn't want to be a disappointment to her family, friends, acquaintances at school, and even God since she'd been inculcated with these ideas of not being a sinner and an abomination since she was a child? Not to mention that “from 7th grade” is impossible because Lauren hadn't even given her first kiss yet.

I hope you know that these are not my opinions or theories but words that came out of her mouth on more than one occasion. Although I don’t know if that’s validated enough for you. I mean, I'm still a little bit confused, you know? I’m still trying to figure out because, apparently, your opinions count as proofs and are validated for you, but the actual proofs aren't, right?

- “i mean lauren might’ve said that she fell in love with her best friend at 15 but she also said that she had an on and off relationship with her for years and many hookups until she finally came to terms with her feelings. so what doesn’t fit here?”. Oh, let's see. Everything she said about her that doesn't match her at all but that does match Camila? Even just the fact that she said how much she loved the part of Lucy that was so confident about who she really was when Lucy herself even lately said the exact opposite by automatically debunking everything Lauren said. Or the simple fact that Laur said she'd been in love with her all those years but broke up with her only a little over a month after they were official to get together with Ty. I mean, what?? Who does something like that if they were truly in love?

I've already explained this, but I will repeat it. How can you have been in love with someone for so many years, broke up with them because they were a toxic person, and immediately get together with an even more toxic person without having the proper time to heal? Without taking the time for yourself to lick your wounds, grow up, be ready again to throw yourself out there, and eventually find a better person to be in a relationship with? How? Simple. Because they were both fake relationships. The timing they wanted to tell is not credible. None of what they've said is believable, and luckily, there's also enough evidence to prove it so these are not opinions and theories.

Not to mention that Lucy had two relationships during and after her PR with Laur (2016 Sarah Scott Narcise, before dating Nicole Marie Rendón in March 2017).

So, yes, Anon. You asked a super right question. “so what doesn't fit here?”. Lucy. Lucy is the one that doesn't fit here. Lucy is the answer. Laur is still obliged to make people believe that Lucy is the ONLY girl she's ever been in love with. Period. Without ifs and buts. It's up to you and anyone else to try to see the truth behind the lies they're forced to sell.

- “lauren and lucy could’ve started messing around at 12 until 15 years old”. Again. Impossible since she was 12, and for me, so just my opinion, not after meeting Camila. And certainly not from 2015 onwards because it was just for PR and there are actual proofs. Whether you want to believe it or not.

- “oh and also i don’t know why you guys keep pushing that narrative but lauren and camila were not best friends in 2012, maybe they did later on but certainly not in 2012. sure they became really close due to x factor but it is impossible for them to become best friends over a few months of knowing each other, like do you guys meet someone and immediately call them your best friend after only a few months of knowing each other? how can you put so much trust in someone over four or five months of knowing them in order to call them your best friend?” Again with the plural, Anon? They were always attached to each other hip, and not only during the X-Factor interviews and the episodes of the program itself, they were also outside of it. They were very but very often at each other's home. Their parents hanged out, with or without them. The two of them, DNA, and anyone who knew them, always said how quickly they became friends from the boot camp also thanks to the fact that they lived in the same city. There are billions of proofs around out there. And then, I'm sorry. I don't know your age and I don't know you, Anon, but I think you remember what it was like at that age. It's so much easier to become friends with someone and become attached to them precisely because you are that young.

And you forget one fundamental thing. You forget how different it was for them. You forget how they were five teenage girls basically alone against the world (despite their parents trying to be as present as possible) and how this made them even closer together. Not to mention that the two of them were the ones who had the most things in common and that this brought them even closer; not just Miami.

Your topic doesn't apply in this case, both because of their age and because of their particular circumstances. I would've been super in agreement with you if we were talking about two people who have just met in a more adult age and not in the middle of adolescence, and under more normal circumstances especially.

- “even lauren herself referred to camila as a very good friend of hers, not best friend”. Please tell me you didn’t actually mention something that came out of Laur’s lips about Mila and Lucy during that podcast? Please tell me you understood that she had to play a part? …at this point, I don't really know whether to laugh or be worried… You believe in Laucy and not in Camren because it makes more sense to you, okay. It's your choice. But please, tell me you can tell the difference between maneuvered Laur and genuine Laur? ……… You have to learn to recognize when she's following a script, Anon. I'm saying it for you. You're gonna need it, especially in the future.

- “maybe i don’t believe that camila was romantically involved with lauren but that doesn’t mean i think she’s straight. hell no”. We agree on something at least.

- “lastly i didn’t come here with the intention to change your opinion about camila and lauren’s relationship, but i did want to remind shippers some things they tend to ignore just to validate a ship which in my opinion is non existent” /// “i didn’t come here with the intention to change your opinion about camila and lauren’s relationship”. That's exactly what it looks like actually. Especially for someone who pointed out “I'm not a hater nor a shipper” as the first thing. How generous and thoughtful of you, not Laucy shipper, to come to a CS blog for wanting to try to remind us things already explained and proven just to validate a ship which in your opinion was more existent than Camren.

- “i did want to remind shippers some things they tend to ignore”. And you seem to want to ignore all the proofs there are there just because, and I quote what my girlfriend told me when I made her read your first ask: “as with the showmila shitshow, it's easier to believe it because everything is prepared to point people in that direction”. *Love u and your brain, mi amor 😍🥰😘*

Let's move on to the second ask now, shall we? Step by step again.

- “hey i was waiting for your reply. 1st of all as i said when i sent you that ask, i’m not a shipper lol. i couldn’t care less about ships”. You keep saying that you're not a shipper, but you do act like one and you're here again. You couldn’t care less about ships, but you're here! In a Camren Shipper blog! By reading posts about something you couldn't care less about. By sending asks about something you couldn't care less about, and even waiting for a reply. You don't see anything ironic or, I don't know, contradictory here?

- “i only want my fav to be happy with whoever the fuck she wants. idgaf if that person is camila or lucy or whoever”. You only want your fav to be happy with whoever the fuck she wants and you don’t give a fuck if that person is Camila or Lucy or.. Kris? No, wait. Ty? Is Ty okay? And what about Brad? Or maybe you’d prefer more fetuses? Luis? Keaton? Before all the PRs the fame? So, Paul (14/and just turned 15 years old)? Dominic (her first kiss at 13 in 8th grade)? Her first boyfriend for whom she was cyberbullied at the age of 11 in 6th grade by fake friends who created an entire Facebook page about her with pictures and calling her a slut just because she agreed to be his girlfriend? Or the kid she had a crush on in 4th grade in front of which she peed on herself and who, despite being obviously very embarrassing for her, became her little boyfriend the next day? I mean, I don't know the names of the last two, but they're okay, right? The important thing is that they're not Camila *Simon, is that you?* because you don't believe it, right? Oh no, wait. You said you couldn’t care less about ships. Shit, sorry. My bad.

- “but it really triggers me when you guys don’t value lauren’s words and boundaries”. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. So you're here because we- No, wait. Because I- No, wait. This plural when you're actually talking to me confuses me because it gives me the feeling that you're not only attacking me, but all the rest of the CS as well when in reality you should know that we're all different. Plus, you're on my blog. But anyway. Let me try again. So you're here because I don't value Laur's words and boundaries? You mean the narrative's words and boundaries? And besides that, loving and respecting her both as an artist and above all as a person, and following her on social media without ever bothering her, never, not even with a single comment, makes me someone who doesn't value Laur's words and boundaries? ME? Me, who has ‘scolded’ all those who do it? Me, who always says to be respectful and to be kind and spread kindness at the end of almost all my posts? Me, who chose Tumblr on purpose because it's not like the other social networks at all? Me, who doesn't even want my posts to come out of here? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Ahh, okay.

Did you know that before some mutuals helped me with the situation, I was about to leave Tumblr precisely because that first post of mine ended up on Twitter? Did you know that I was pissed off because not only did they post it without permission, but because there was the link that led here (even though it was a mutual's blog) and my initial as a signature? Yeah, you read it right. It was only the initial of my name, yet, I didn't want and still don't want to be involved in any way publicly. You don't even know me, yet you dare to judge without knowing? Oh and, please. Don't come after by saying that you weren't referring to me and that you were just generalizing because even if it were true, I repeat, this is my blog and you're talking to me.

- “secondly i really don’t know why you didn’t post my ask like you did with everyone else and just chose to refer to me as a lucy shipper and proceeded to talk about what i said without context. and lastly i really don’t get what point you’re trying to prove with your post about my ask because you legit didn’t reply to any of my arguments” /// “i really don’t know why you didn’t post my ask like you did with everyone else”. Wanna know why? I did it because my very first post already answers the whole Laucy situation by itself. And above all, believe it or not, I did it for you. I did it to avoid all this. But you insisted, and now here we are.

Oh and, I explained why I called you Laucy shipper at the beginning of this post.

- “you simply corrected me on a random date of a photo i mentioned”. A random date, yeah, right. So random, that you wanted to use it as proof. A proof that, now that you know it's useless, you're diminishing it because you no longer need it to prove your point which, forgive me, what exactly is it? You know, with all the contradictions you said from the beginning, I got a little lost.

Why are you even here, Anon? Why are you so pressed for something you said you don't give a fuck about? Why send me two asks and insist so much on a ship you ‘don't give a fuck about’, but at the same time say that you’re not a shipper when you clearly are? Don't you see all the contradictions?

- “about your tunnel post i read it like a hundred times, it still doesn’t invalidate any of the points i made on my previous ask, it just contains a variety of dates which basically prove nothing about your ship being real”. You read it like a hundred times and despite this, you're telling me that proves nothing about my ship being real when the post wasn't even about Camren? Are you for real? Well, after all, you've read it like a hundred times and despite the proofs, you still believe that Laucy was real, so, what could I expect? But anyway. I already told you in the last post, but you evidently didn't understand, so I'll tell you again in a different way so maybe it's clearer. There is a light at the end of the tunnel is a post about Laucy's PR. It's not about or proves Camren like you said. It's a reminder I wrote after that podcast that's about and proves the bullshit they've said and will continue to say to make people believe their narrative.

You don't think Laur and Mila have ever been together? Okay. Amazing. But that's your opinion. You want to continue believing in Laucy? Great. Perfect even. But it's your choice. It doesn't concern me. Especially when there's real proofs around and not opinions. I thought it already was, but I hope it’s clearer now that I don’t care who you ship and who you don’t. “The world is beautiful because it's varied”, says a proverb of my country. You can come back here a hundred more times, but you won't change my mind, especially if you keep coming back here with just opinions and empty proofs. Oh and, of course, it's mutual. Nobody's pointing a gun to your head. As I've always said, everyone’s free to think what they want.

So, my rhetorical question now is, what purpose are you really here for, Anon? You justified yourself in the first ask by saying that you're not here to change our minds when it was exactly for that, and even though I answered you with that first post, you've come back once again. Why? What's the point? You saw that you failed in your intent and continued because you want some drama? Because you're bored? Because you wanted to start a discussion? Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not the kind of person who promotes this kind of things. I'm not a fan of attack and hate in all its forms. If I had been, I would've joined Twitter a lot of years ago. I, for real, don't give a fuck about all that shit.

Rhetorical question n°2: Have I or haven't I answered all your arguments now?

Have a good day wherever you are, not a hater nor a shipper Anon. For real, I'm not a petty person.

[mikaze-discord]

Quartet Night: Love letters

Annnnnd these are the love letters written for Quartet Night!!!

Please enjoy under the cut~

REIJI KOTOBUKI

From Anon:

I've always been drawn to characters with complex (and fairly dark) personalities, so liking Rei-chan was honestly inevitable for me.

He looks like a very bright and cheerful character at first, which he is, but sometimes that part of him is a little misleading because, in actuality, he's a character that holds a lot of negative feelings about himself due to a past that he can't seem to move on from. He holds a lot of those feelings to himself because he doesn't want to burden anyone else with them. He's a reliable, cunning, and ultimately selfless character that chooses to shoulder a lot on his own out of his infinite care for others, and perhaps a secret sense of atonement, all hidden behind his bright demeanor and goofy smile, and it's endlessly interesting to me.

Besides the duality of his personality, he has a lot of other endearing quirks to love about him. He loves his mom a lot and is a mama's boy. His old-man jargon and catchphrases never fail to amuse (I still can't get over the way he says "my girl"). His obsession with anything even remotely British is something my APH England phase can relate to. His style of music brings a lot of pleasant feelings of nostalgia for me, and his pretty voice suits them a lot. And most of all he's just a very good boy overall. I rate 99999 out of 10 would love and support him and also maybe pay for his therapy because god knows he needs it. Happy anniversary!!

From another anon: 

Would you like to hear a story? You do? Very well then, may this story be one you enjoy.

What do I like about Reiji kotobuki? A Lot of things actually!

Well, I've always really liked Reiji as a character as he seemed to be one of the more interesting characters to me, due to how complex he is with his backstory and general just personality.

I have always really enjoyed how Reiji just solves problems too? Like he is just such an outgoing person who deserves all the support!!!

Like the best word I can use for Reiji is just, unique. Everything about him is just so Reiji. From the way he talks, to his nicknames or even his texting style. Like have you seen how many people use emoticons when texting as Reiji? It's just so him.

I like his way of thinking too! I feel like some of the interactions in the games are just so interesting, just seeing Reiji’s point of view. How he deals with a sort of survivor’s guilt and all of that.

Personally, some of my most memorable roleplaying moments were watching a Reiji rper in action, like just seeing them interact and flow so seamlessly with the other characters was just so fascinating to wee baby rper me. Such a large part of playing Reiji is just how you flow with the people around you and comedic timing. I have so many funny moments where Reiji was just interacting with people and it was just so inspirational (?) like I couldn't stop the smile on my face. I had learnt alot from them. I still consider them my roleplaying senpai almost! I don't talk to them anymore but I really had an amazing time just seeing their spin on the character.

I don't find him to be a romantic partner towards me nor do I see any of the characters in that light, but I've always found Reiji as such a personal character. Not even just towards me, like even with other utapri stans. The most relatable character always seems to be Reiji.

I've always been pretty similar in many aspects to him and I often find myself relating to him in numerous ways like his vibe is just relatable! I have often found myself trying to make other people laugh and have fun that many times I'm spreading myself thin and feel unappreciated...Reiji really helped with that.

This is where i start getting into the really personal stuff LOL feel free to skip if you dont wanna hear the angsty backstory.

I had really come to love Reiji when I had just...hit a low. I had a group of friends who I enjoyed hanging out with and just talking to, but they weren't very good friends per say. I often had to schedule every activity we did and I spent days and nights trying to think of concepts that might be fun. They took it for granted.. I had spent 4 months trying to make a game for them, and they had constantly pushed back times that we would play it. Using excuses to not play it, without telling me out right what they did not like or even why. The site I used was later taken down without notice and thus I had lost all my progress. Later, they had mentioned how they would like to play it except that later ended up being two years later. I really wish I could've solved things with that friend group like Quartet Night did but that didn't happen. That is when I started seeing things Reiji’s way? Not to say that it was the same or similar scenario to Reiji but I had just associated it with him.

RANMARU KUROSAKI

From Anon:

Ran is such a fun character! He sounds like a "rough outside, soft inside" kind of character, but his roughness is more like an integral part of him and it's through it that he shows he cares rather than setting it aside. That's what made me want to rp him. I also like how he is such a strong guy who's always determined to do his best in everything he does despite so much having gone wrong in his past. And it's very satisfying to see him form bonds and start to trust people.

From @mikaze-san:

Originally, my favourite Utapri boy was Ai, and it had been the robot boy for several years upon entering the fandom. In fact, it only switched to Ranmaru sometime late last year but regardless, I would still die for this man. Part of the reason why I switched is because I’ve always been a fan of Suzuki Tatsuhisa and I have a huge bias towards any man who wears nail polish without fearing being “feminine” because fuck gender roles.

As someone who studies fashion, I think Ranmaru is very coordinated and confident when it comes to portraying himself that way. He knows he’s not very good at expressing his emotions and utilises his passion for rock and playing the bass to portray those feelings through his songs. It’s also incredibly inspiring to know that he bounces back from pretty much anything considering his backstory and the stuff he deals with in the game/anime.

But my main reason for loving Ranmaru so much stems from the fact that I admire him a lot and want to be more like him. For a long time last year, I got to roleplay as Ranmaru in a few Utapri groups and through those experiences, I gained a better understanding and appreciation of the characters that I wrote for. In some weird way, by highlighting his flaws, character progression and how he dealt with different emotions, I ended up providing insight into how I dealt with similar issues by looking at them from a 3rd person perspective.

I used to be very shy and was very shut off from friends and family, and due to this I’ve always admired people in my life or fictional characters that are so confident in being who they are. Ranmaru particularly struck that chord in me because his bluntness knows no end. He’s very opinionated and doesn’t fear confrontation, in most cases being the one to provoke it. He speaks his mind openly without being overly anxious of the consequences. This is something that I feel is especially relevant today with being your authentic/unapologetic self is such a trend.

It’s something I’ve also noticed with having met people in or outside of this fandom, the notion of idolising a fictional character containing traits that we want to see in ourselves. Which made me think about a lot of my favourite kinds of characters which at the end of the day all boil down to sharing one similar trait: Being a bitch.

And in Utapri, Ranmaru embodies that. So naturally it’s very easy for me to idolise him.

(Tldr: I like his bitchy attitude.)

AI MIKAZE 

From Arashi:

It's hard to put into words why I love Ai Mikaze, perhaps it's because I'm subconsciously drawn to him, maybe it's because his hair and eyes are my favorite color, maybe it's because his voice is that of an angels, there are many reasons why I love him. I couldn't tell you a definite, "These one or two reasons are the entire reason I love him", but I'll try to sum it up.

I grew to love him by admiring his personality, his smile, his determination to reach his goals, everything about him made me happy. He's strict and a little scary at times, but when he sees people caring for him, he becomes happy and in a way, sentimental. He's not sure how to explain the way he feels, but he tries. I think I admire how he holds all the little things precious to his heart as he learns about them, and he wants to understand how to care for others and how they care for them in return. Even after six years, he still remains the most dear to me. I think that he now has a sentimental value to me, because even if I 'loved' another character more for a while, I will always come back to Ai. Ai deserves the world, and I'd give it to him if I could. He'll always be special to me, and I think that he very much deserves that.

From Maronda: 

My love for Ai started after I found Shining Live by chance and started to play. At first I wasn't particularly attached to any of the characters and decided to go back and watch the anime to maybe remember some context other than who Starish was. When I got to the episode focused on Ai and his "secret" I was absolutely thrown off by it all. I ended up feeling like I had so many questions and I knew that the anime would give me little to no answers, so I frequently turned to rambling on the internet about it. Eventually, this fixation on weird things about him seemed to turn into a clear fondness for him, and friends made me realize just how much I liked him. Knowing the cold and often strange aspects of his personality was due to something out of his control was something I resonated with as someone on the autism spectrum. He reminded me of some of the ways I used to think and behave.

I also began to notice other things I loved about him. Things like how soothing I found his voice, the pleasant shade of light blue in his hair and eyes, how ridiculously pretty he is... but the best things are the endearing parts of his personality. Though he's somewhat harsh, he's still entirely genuine. His curiosity is absolutely precious and his occasional awkwardness in expressing emotion or understanding the emotions of others made me empathize with him. And if you look at the Ai in Shining Live and compare it to the Ai in the anime and games... he really has changed a lot and grown as a person. He now seems so much gentler and understanding, and he clearly values the friendships he has now too! I think he's a wonderful character and ever since friends of mine encouraged me to selfship I've essentially been in love with him, but it also makes me happy to see other people appreciate him for other reasons as well. He's just so lovable!

CAMUS

From @uta-no-fakku-sama:

At the very beginning of my UtaPri interest, Camus never really caught my attention. That is until he became my first My Only Prince UR. I’ve come to appreciate him a lot more ever since, and now he’s become my favorite QUARTET NIGHT member! Along the way, I learned more about him and realized he’s one of the more complicated characters to understand. Nonetheless, I absolutely adore him. I tend to tease and make fun of him a lot, but deep down I truly do like him a whole bunch!

From @/waddamaloooon on twt: 

A little Camus appreciation post

(alternatively known as; how this guy managed to harshly take my heart and step on it like the gumin I am.)

Hello, this is Suikamaru, here to share a tiny story of why I, and eventually you, love Camus Rondo Cryzard.

At first glance, his looks appealed to me, but not his behavior (and ironically enough, his voice) so I didn't bat an eye on him. I've always been on a neutral leaning to dislike opinion on Camus, which is quite understandable because have you SEEN the way he acts. Unfathomable.

…..To a Young Suikamaru, that is.

I've grown, so naturally I've changed preferences regarding characters, ikemen, and who to stan and who to avoid like the plague. I will lie if I said that I expected to like that blonde confectionery devouring machine at any point of my life.

But it did happen so who are we fooling here.

It dawned on me that Camus is the type of character that you cannot appreciate unless you go in depth into his lore, backstory, and see him for who he really is. Because then everything else will make sense. And that never happened in my case until I started roleplaying as him.

I realized that he's not just a two faced, sweet toothed mean man. He's a perfectionist, someone who's always been raised since his childhood days to be nothing less than complete, who has locked on his heart and emotions to devote himself completely to the purpose given to him. He has the looks and brains for what though? He should be a little stupid honestly.

But his intelligence gave him the complexity that he just needed for his characteristics. Because as aforementioned, he's not someone to easily like or fall in love with. And I think that's quite rare in characters, and very much appreciated due to the fact it gives the fans a chance to not actually stay on a flat level of knowledge regarding their favorite characters.

I've slowly started to see myself in some aspects of him, which was the number one factor of liking him. Then came the Maeno magic when I realized Camus shares the same VA as another character that I love as well. (Hamelin, from SinoAlice.) From then, everything went downhill.

In a good way. I think..

Well, that is all from me, please read about this handsome man and appreciate his hard work both as an individual and as an idol. There is SO much to him that's p much overlooked and I'm getting broke from spending my money on his living expenses rent free in my head. Take him off my head.

[intergalactic-bean]

On Encanto

Hi I have a lot of thoughts after watching this movie which I don’t usually sooooo, buckle up

I feel like this a movie that not everyone will get on a personal level, although I feel like it’s so stunning sensory wise and the story is so heart warming; anyone can enjoy it. Not gatekeeping, I promise. I only know how it felt for me though, and I cried and laughed in the same five seconds which I think sums up the whole experience pretty well. Anyway, key things:

-I need to get the not so great stuff out of the way: the dialogue at times is mediocre, I wish curlier hair was included in the animation, and sometimes the skin tones were a bit desaturated. I also hated the fact that this movie had nothing along the lines as the same amount of advertising as Black Widow.

Now, onto the good stuff!,

1. The music is a mix of styles and it’s so flavorful, even if it leans into pop a lot. They are integrated pretty seemlessly into the movie and you can tell it’s written by a team (there are definite Lin Manuel Miranda influences but a team non the less) who know what they are doing with the music. It’s there in the rhythm changes within songs and style changes between songs.

2. Ironically, for Disney, the diversity in this movie is pretty cool. This is the first portrayal of a community with indigenous roots I have ever seen and that alone almost sent me into tears. It’s the first time I have ever felt culturally connected to an animated movie about Latin people due to my own heritage. As well as the different accents! Everyone has their own sound in both languages. There is a gradual lessening of the heavy Spanish accent in English from the Abuela to Antonio and different mixes in between. The Spanish itself is not Castilian Spanish, this is most clearly heard in the double L pronunciation as “shh” and not “y”, where the usual default is Castilian Spanish (thanks colonialism). Due to the variety in characters (although the love interests a tad bit of a type) there isn’t a stark beauty standard. There is an overall range in body types and we got our first buff lady Luisa (thank you animators)! Plus, the showing of what I assume were conquistadors driving the family out, it isn’t the focus of the plot but it’s grounding to the story in bad shizz that actually happened. 

Different types of diversity: okay so I know that it wasn’t a lot and it’s not really brought attention to. However, I personally liked the touch of the bisexual flag on Maribel’s dress because of that. No one’s shouting “Maribel, Disney’s new bisexual queen!!”but it’s there. This isn’t a movie about romantic love for Maribel so technically it has not place being canonical in the story but it’s there anyway. Yeah, it’s easy to ignore and cover up but it’s also a fully fledged character who happens to be bisexual, a casual bisexual, if you will. Yes, the main love interests plots are straight, and a simple flag isn’t pushing boundaries. It also reminded me of the pride pin on Katie’s red sweater in the Mitchell’s vs. the Machines. Moving onto the huge gender from Camilo, I mean an androgynous shape shifter??? Need I say more? Finally, and this is a personal head canon of mine; Bruno has OCD. We see him have special knocking rituals and salt rituals, plus the ritual with the set up to make his powers work, and he’s mentioned to be nervous and shown to be worrisome, which could be anxiety.

3. I liked the different characters internal struggles, and how they were aimed at an older audience. For one thing, Maribel’s age is already older on the Disney protagonist spectrum. For another, the dysfunctional family dynamic. Character related struggles like the fact that Luisa feels like she is carrying everyone and keeping stuff stable, Isabela who has to be perfect and proper and marry ‘the guy’, Pepa not being able to process her emotions instead of just stuffing them down, Maribel and Bruno being passed off as good for nothings, and Alma who manifests her internal struggles outwardly onto her family while also not communicating with them. This all with the family’s way of covering anything bad up from each other and from the public, so they seem perfect to an outside perspective.

4. This movie is actually, genuinely, funny. I’m not explaining my humor but if you are lucky or cursed enough to have it, you will be laughing. It’s also using the enhancement of animation for the jokes to work, maybe that’s just a Disney thing and i haven’t seen enough of their movies in a while. 

That pretty much sums up all of my love for this movie. I want to hug it. If there’s only takeaway from this, it’s that it’s a huggable movie with an actual soul. Also, the pre-movie short was precious.

[livinglikearoyal]

K-drama Recommendations (May 2020)

Here is part two of my Kdrama recommendations, since my first one had such a positive response and I had a couple people ask for more. All of the dramas on this list can be found on Netflix US as of posting. These are all dramas I have watched since my last post in November...I have described why ten of them are amazing and listed a handful of others that are worth a shot as well. (I watch too much Netflix...my goodness)

These aren’t in any order based on how much I liked them; they are ordered based on the order I watched them. The ones listed in the honorable mentions list are dramas that either had a somewhat similar storyline to one of the ten that are explained or I just couldn’t find the words to describe them! Obviously, everyone has different tastes and perspectives when it comes to dramas...this is just my take! 

I am always looking for new dramas to watch! Send your suggestions and/or thoughts my way!

Suits (law, witty, drama)

Summary: Go Yeonwoo is a man wrapped up in some shady business, just trying to get by. When a deal goes bad, he finds himself seeking safety by blending in with the many applicants trying to join the top law firm in Korea, Kang & Ham. Although he isn’t a law student, his photographic memory and previous experience taking assessments for law students helps him impress the company’s ace: Attorney Choi. Go (illegally) becomes Choi’s apprentice and the series follows them as they figure out how they work together, how to save their company, and how to not get caught. Based on the American series of the same name. 

Why I liked it: I watched the American version of Suits as soon as it came out and followed it for several seasons. This Korean version is much more my speed. The storyline is complicated enough to keep your attention but not so complicated to make you stop watching. They took the key components of the American series and made them better: more realistic, less focused on sex appeal and more on the storyline, and you could really connect with the characters. It really hits on the ideas of integrity, truth, and empathy.

The K2 (action, romantic, political)

Summary: Kim Jeha is on the run in France. While trying to elude his captors, he runs into a woman in a white dressing gown and she begs for his help because she is also on the run. He is hesitant but ends up helping her escape her captor’s hold in the subway. She runs but is captured again on the street and he doesn’t help her a second time. Flash forward several years: Jeha is now appointed as bodyguard for the wife of a presidential candidate (she is terrifyingly powerful) and he is assigned to watch over the candidate’s illegitimate daughter, Anna. Anna is the girl from the subway. The series follows Jeha as he seeks revenge for all of the false accusations that have marred his past while also protecting Anna from the political corruption and previous trauma she has encountered. 

Why I liked it: This one took a second to get into. The way that the storyline is introduced is purposely chaotic. Once I got to the second or third episode, I really got into it. Each character is well developed: There were so many characters in this storyline and I empathized with most of them. Each character has their own motives and reasons behind their actions; they don’t do something just to fit their role as the “good guy” or “bad guy”. The dynamic between Jeha and Anna definitely had me yelling at my screen several times. The corruption and complications that come along with power is portrayed in such a powerful way. It is a show where you think you have it figured out but you don’t and as soon as you give up and stop trying to guess, something predictable happens. It keeps you on your feet while making you fall in love with its characters. 

Inheritors (romantic, teenage angst, social issues)

Summary: Kim Tan is in California after essentially being kicked out of Korea by his family, especially his older brother. One day he sees Cha Eunsang arguing with her sister after Eunsang traveled to the U.S. to see her only to find out that her sister lied and she has been using all of the money that their mother has sent for things less legal than an education. Tan sees that Eunsang is alone so he offers for her to stay at his home mansion. His fiancee (arranged) shows up and is not pleased to see Eunsang in the house so she does all she can to kick her out. Eunsang eventually returns to Korea to be with her mother, who has now moved into a mansion as their housekeeper. Tan also returns to try to smooth over his relationship with his family and he has to return to his old high school, where he  had previously set the standard for how privileged students rule the roost. His friend turned enemy is now the “alpha male”. The series follows Tan and Eunsang mostly; showing their varying perspectives on attending the same school but coming from completely different backgrounds and financial situations.. Even comparing Tan’s perspectives from his other “inheritor” peers or himself several years prior is really interesting.  It also shows their very different relationships with their families

Why I liked it: This show started out soooo cheesy. I remember commenting to my friend that I was watching this with-- I felt like I was watching a crossover between “Saved by the Bell” and a daytime soap opera. The American characters at the beginning are so stereotypical it was funny to see. Once the storyline got past the first few episodes and they were back in Korea, it really increased in quality-- both visually and written. This is another one that really allows you to connect to so many of the characters. I was constantly wanting to jump through my screen and just give the characters a hug (social distancing may have contributed a little too…).  By the end of it, you have nearly 10 or more characters that you are invested in and you really want to see them succeed. The ending can be a little frustrating if you are the type of person that wants everything (all the minor storylines) to be wrapped up in a little bow. The ending closes out the main storyline well but leaves the others very open ended. I will always be on the lookout for a sequel/spin off. Also, Eunsang is a girl that will tell it like it is...she doesn’t take BS from anyone...unless she wants to. She isn’t the stereotypical damsel in distress. Also...that “Love is the Moment” song will forever play in my head during ANY romantic scene in ANY show from now on. 

My Secret Romance (romantic, work place drama, comedy)

Summary: Jin Wook is a rich man getting ready to inherit the family company. The only thing standing in his way is the fact that his father doesn’t want him to take over until he is married. And the fact that he doesn’t take proper care of himself nutritionally, causing him to pass out. The company has recently hired a brand new dietitian, Yoo Mi, and Jin Wook’s assistant assigns her with the task of providing three healthy meals for their very picky boss. Yoo Mi, being brand new, is learning to be the head of a very opinionated kitchen staff while struggling to make food that is worth eating. Once Jin Wook and Yoo Mi meet, they realize that this isn’t their first encounter. As the series progresses, the two work on figuring out how to work together after their first meeting, what they feel for each other (especially considering that Jin Wook is expected to marry another woman), and how to work through their interesting family dynamics. 

Why I liked it: This is a show that really shows the effect of emotional baggage. Neither of the main characters have a “simple life” and it plays into their interactions daily. It is a cute show, an easy watch, nothing too complicated but definitely heartfelt. It is a good illustration of the different ways that people care for those around them too. There are definitely several complications that come along and they are realistic and well thought out. 

Tomorrow, With You (time travel, emotional, romantic)

Summary: Yoo Sojoon is the CEO of a very successful real estate firm. He ends up saving photographer Song Marin from being hit in an intersection and begins to try to get to know her. Little does she know, that Sojoon has been able to time travel using the subway ever since he narrowly avoided being in a major accident in that same subway tunnel. Sojoon is interested in Song Marin because he wants to save her, being encouraged by his mentor, a man that is also able to time travel in the same way as Sojoon. Sojoon encounters the many issues that come along with time travel and does all that he can to avoid the heartbreak that he sees when he travels to the future. 

Why I liked it: This one was interesting. All of the characters storylines are so tangled together and there are times when you can’t tell if we are seeing past Sojoon, present Sojoon, or future Sojoon. It feels like we are in that time travel web right along with them. It is definitely a heartfelt story that will have you in your feelings while making you think. Life is complicated, with and without time travel, and this shows that. 

Itaewon Class (Social issues, workplace politics, vengeance, family)

Summary: Park Saeroyi is a teenager that gets kicked out of his new school after punching the school bully and refusing to apologize. His father has recently purchased a building and is working to make his own restaurant after being let go from his position (the bully’s dad was his boss). As Mr. Park was making a delivery, he is a victim of a hit and run and passes away. Saeroyi finds out that the bully was the one driving the other car and attacks him, landing Saeroyi in prison for several years. Upon release, Saeroyi sets out to begin his plan to take revenge on the bully and his family for all that they have done. Saeroyi’s goal: Become the #1 restaurant business, overthrowing that family’s company. The show follows Saeroyi as he puts his plan into action and tries to go from the bottom of the totem pole to the top. 

Why I liked it: I loved this drama! I’m not sure whether it was the storyline, the diverse characters, or the main character himself. The irony of so many things had me falling in love with Saeroyi’s plan and Saeroyi’s character was so...wholesome. I definitely yelled at my screen several times, especially during the last handful of episodes. The characters (at least those that work closely with Saeroyi) are so easy to love. Even those that aren’t the easiest to love, you still root for them. Now, the bad guys are the bad guys and they stay bad but you can see their motivations...not always making the pill any easier to swallow. It is definitely a drama I would recommend to everyone, whether they like foreign dramas or not. The storyline is good, the acting is wonderful, and it tugs at your heartstrings. 

My Holo Love (action, romance, emotional, sci-fi)

Summary: Soyeon has lived a very solitary life due the fact that she has a face blindness disorder where she can’t recognize the differences in individual’s faces. This all stems from a childhood trauma. By chance (or not), she ends up with a pair of high tech prototype glasses that allows her to interact with the AI program that is installed, named Holo. He is meant to be a sort of personal assistant and only the person wearing the glasses can see and hear him. Holo helps Soyeon throughout her daily life, explaining who people are as they walk up to Soyeon so she can identify them and taking on the role of love coach. They become quite attached to each other, emotionally. They both realize the limits though, considering one is a human and one is a hologram. Holo is the spitting image of his creator, Nan Do...a man that the world thinks is dead. He is not. There are many people looking for him and his glasses. This causes him to become well acquainted with Soyeon.

Why I liked it: This one is cute. It is relatively short too...only 12 or so episodes compared to other series that have 20+. It was really interesting to see Soyeon’s relationship with Holo vs. Nando, but a good sort of interesting. The pacing was good and I really became invested in these three main characters. The ending is bittersweet (leaning more toward the sweet side) and how they get there is complicated, sometimes messy, but very intriguing. Definitely a good show to watch if you are wanting to watch something a little out of the ordinary while also seeing most kdrama troupes represented. 

Chocolate (medical, romantic, angst, tearjerker)

Summary: The show begins in a small restaurant on the pier of a tiny town. Lee Kang’s mother is the owner and he loves helping around the business and watching her make the meals. He sees a young girl outside that is alone and hungry. He puts his skills to use (mind you, he is young...like 10 years old), and makes a full spread for this girl. He promises to make her a chocolate dessert later on if she returns. He makes it, but she never comes back (it was out of her hands). Fast forward to when these kids are adults. Lee Kang was taken in by his father’s family (who disproved of his mother) and groomed to become the top neurosurgeon at the family’s hospital. The young girl, Moon Chayoung, is now a chef and dating Kang’s best friend. They encounter each other another time in Greece when Kang searches for her to come back to Korea to make a final meal for his best friend who has failing health.  Kang and Chayoung end up in a car accident that changes both of their futures and makes everything even more complicated but also provides some reminders about what is really important. 

Why I liked it: Good lord, did I cry with this one! Nearly every episode had me in tears: both happy and sad. It is so sweet and sad. Just...ahhh. It is bittersweet like dark chocolate. Even looking back at the episode summaries on Netflix has me feeling some kind of way. I texted my friend after nearly episode just to vent about why I was crying. These characters are so relatable and my heart broke for them so many times while also celebrating for them. The cast is amazing and the storyline really makes you think about what you have and how you should value those around you while you have them around. I will definitely rewatch this when I need to be lost in my emotions. This is a drama that I don’t know why more people aren’t talking about it. I absolutely loved it.

Crash Landing on You (realistic drama, romantic)

Summary: Yun Seri, a South Korean heiress, find herself stuck in a tree on the north side of the Korean DMZ after a paragliding incident and a freak tornado. Ri Jeong Hyeok finds her and hides her in his home, with the help of his troop of North Korean soldiers. He is not a fan of hers and is looking for ways to get her back to South Korea without raising suspicion. His fiance returns from being abroad after years and throws a wrench in the plan as he had been introducing Seri as his fiance to decrease the suspicion of the neighbors. Seri is getting used to life in North Korea. Several issues arise as they try to get Seri back to the south and these complications bring them even closer together. 

Why I liked it: This one is sweet. Nothing too emotional or heart wrenching. It is interesting to see how they portray the differences between the two countries and how important our relationships with others are, no matter what the government is like. The storyline isn’t rushed or forced and I really appreciated that. It seemed like events unfolded naturally. The characters are loveable and you find yourself wanting to be a part of their “squad”. Some characters redeem themselves, others don’t. Some characters get the ending they deserve, others don’t. The ending isn’t exactly what the viewer (or at least what I) hoped for, but it is more of a realistic ending and I appreciate that. 

Cinderella and the Four Knights (angst, romantic, dramedy)

Summary: Hawon is a high school student that is working multiple jobs. Her step-family is nasty toward her and her father is on the road most of the time. She shows her spunk when she speaks up against some men at a club that are jerks when she delivers food. Hyunmin is one of three heirs for his family’s business and fortune. He sees Hawon’s spunk and offers her a fair amount of money for her to play the role of his fiancee at his grandfather’s latest marriage ceremony. She doesn’t realize what she is in for. When she stands up for herself at the wedding, she grabs the grandfather’s attention. He ends up hiring her to live with his four grandsons to “whip them into shape” and gives her missions to complete, essentially trying to get the grandsons to interact with each other as they each live their own separate lives and don’t like each other.  Hyunmin is the eldest cousin and is the “arrogant playboy”. Jiwoon is the middle cousin and is the most withdrawn; he was an orphan and was thrown into this affluent role overnight...leading him to portray himself as wild and rebellious. Seowoo is the youngest cousin and he is a popular singer and is a sweetheart. The fourth knight is the secretary of Chairman Kang, Lee Yoonsung, and he is the bodyguard for Hawon and the three cousins. 

Why I liked it: This one is complicated in the best way possible. It definitely hits on many of the stereotypical Kdrama troupes. You fall in love with all of the the main characters, even the chairman (a role that typically is the bad guy). The relationships are complicated, the characters are lovable, and the main female character has a backbone. Throughout the show, I couldn’t decide which “knight” I wanted Hawon to end up with. The writers did a great job at portraying each of the characters in an equal but unique light to allow the viewers to see them for who they are. The storyline is complicated but simple at the same time. I will definitely rewatch “Cinderella and the Four Knights” again. 

Honorable Mentions: 

Cheese in the Trap

Man to Man

Because this is my First Love

The Lies Within

The Bride of Haebaek

The Legend of the Blue Sea

[bisluthq]

Taylor Showmances

March 2015 - Taylor writes “So It Goes”. Oscar, one of her collaborators says this about it: essentially, that he was writing it just after he’d first become a father. And his baby was born around now. “So It Goes” is one of the edgiest songs Taylor had written up to this point, with lines like “scratches down your back,” among other things implying a sexual relationship in far more detail than Taylor had previously, even on 1989. Calvin Harris seems to have been chosen as a beard as an attempt to get Taylor’s public image in line with the new, edgy lyrics she was writing. “So It Goes” also has an EDM influence to it, suggesting that originally it was going to be attributed to Calvin -- before he ruined any chance of that and forced Taylor’s team to pretend it was about Joe.

However, lines like “I’m so chill but you make me jealous” and “Gold cage, hostage to my feelings” and “We break down a little / But when you get me alone, it’s so simple” seem to imply that whoever Taylor was writing the song about (Karlie) and her were in a complicated relationship, involving jealousy and miscommunication. This fits the timeline happening here with Joshlie much more than the traditional Kaylor timeline. And it fits this situation much more than the Joe retcon. 

2 March 2015 - Karlie posts a photo of flowers she received in Paris, using the hashtag ‘feelingLOVED.’ While these could have possibly been from Josh OR Taylor, seeing as Karlie hasn't been seen with him in over a month and Kaylor seems to be back on, I'm leaning towards them being from Taylor… or Derek or her parents or someone else. 

9 March 2015 - Karlie posts a photo on Instagram in Josh's usual photo taking style (Karlie's back + some aesthetic background), however, she makes it VERY clear in the caption that the photo credit goes to her mom -- more proof that Josh and Karlie are not together at this point. It seems like an odd clarification otherwise. 

20 March 2015 - Joshlie attend the wedding of one of Josh’s business friends. Josh seems to have deleted his post about it, and there is little to no other coverage of this event from the two of them - or in the press. This was not a ‘stunt’. In fact, it is likely they were simply invited to it as a couple prior to the breakup/rough patch they seem to be going through and went together anyways. The fan account linked above picks up the pic and says they’re “back together” which implies that, at that point, it was known or suspected in fandom that they were “off”. What fandom, you ask? Well, the Kushners do have a very specific set of fans lmao. We have to laugh but as we laugh we must acknowledge we too are being laughed at and all fandom is a liiiittle ridiculous. 

Karlie also talks to E! about Taylor in an article that is very clearly just promotion for L’Oreal Paris hair products. She does say that they share clothes, and that seems like a real detail, but the article is for branding.

March 26 2015 - Calvin and Taylor are spotted (by a fan?) in Whole Foods (probably buying Karlie’s Kookies). This is the first stunt between the two of them, and the fact that it ties back to Karlie’s Kookies is hilarious. Calvin's appearance is a solid reason we have to think that Kaylor is on, because Taylor was starting to write songs about her new relationship - we discussed So It Goes above - and she was going to need a cover for them.

3 April 2015 - Karlie kovers Porter Magazine. In it, she seems to critique Josh: “‘You could easily picture her becoming this generation’s Grace Kelly. “Yeah, right,” she says. “Where’s my Prince Charming?” That may be her boyfriend Joshua Kushner, a founder of the investment firm Thrive Capital, which works with a number of startups, and scion of a prominent real-estate family in New York. His brother Jared is married to Ivanka Trump. “I don’t talk about him too much,” she says, but does admit, “I feel lucky I have met someone who inspires me and challenges me in ways that I never had before.”’ 

It sounds like they’re having problems but she has not (contrary to the Kaylor narrative) “forgotten” he exists. In fact, the “yeah, right” sounds downright bitter and saying he “challenges” her is hardly true love 5eva talk. But she also clearly hasn’t given up on him, because actions (like attending his friends’ wedding) speak louder than words (in this case “yeah, right”). 

3 April 2015 - Calvin and Tay stunt at a concert wearing matching jackets.

5 April 2015 - Kloss sisters take a trip to Paris.

7 April 2015 - Karlie promotes both Porter and Vogue.

8 April 2015 - Karlie announces a partnership between KWK and Flatiron (which Josh funds/owns/incubates). We knew they were in touch since the wedding they attended, but this is a business step forward, which is big for them since Karlie seems to want him to take her seriously. 

12 April 2015 - Bad Blood MV filmed. Karlie features prominently, boxing with Taylor.

CONCLUSION: From Feb to April 2015, Kaylor were good. Karlie was still in touch with Josh, but in a casual way - as evidenced by the wedding they attended together. Word on the Kushner gossip street was that Joshlie was broken up. It’s very possible that Karlie was hoping to get back together with him, but that didn’t happen until he made adjustments and a plan for integrating her into his real life. Karlie was still promoting Taylor, as usual, but they were also seemingly legit trying to make it work. Tay picked up Calvin in a stunty, public way to account for possible romantic songs, including So It Goes. 

[newobsessionweekly]

First time in love🌿

Arón piper x reader

a/n: I edited it and I like it. I’m not a writer, or at least I don’t think I am, and it’s my first attempt to write something like this. It felt good. It’s my first attempt to write something in English (English is not my native language) so I hope I didn’t messed up anything. Tell me what you think and tell me if I should do that again. I liked it though. 🌿

warnings: none, I am still not good at this

Word count: 3k

Y/n watches the first season of Élite with Miguel, her best friend and only friend here in Spain. They became friends in college in LA and the passion for ocean brings them closer and closer as the years flew by. Her biggest dream is to fly around the world and in their four years of friendship, they travelled together to the most unique places she never dreamed she would see, Indonesia, Himalaya, Ibiza. But the place she loved the most is Spain, Miguel’s native country; her obsession with the Latin country began at a very young age when her parents took her to Tenerife for her tenth birthday. She only dreamt of living there, because her parents were strict and planned a different life for her; they chose her high school classes over the years and even the college, wanted for her to become a successful actress, just like Miguel. But now she decided to take her life into her own hands after a big fight with the people that bring her into the world and raised her to be this amazing woman she is today. It didn’t take long for Miguel to convince her to come with him in Spain and to start a new life there, with him by her side. 

Staying with legs crossed in front of the TV from Miguel’s living room, he is trying to explain for the third time already every actor´s real name but she wasn't really paying attention to his words. In high school, though she was so obsessed with Spain, she just couldn’t understand this language and learned properly only a few words. And now she was desperate to learn faster a few phrases and focusing on TV, hearing the actors talking and keeping up with the subtitles she thought was helping.   Tonight she is supposed to meet a few friends of Miguel’s, and she didn’t understand the importance of knowing every actor from the cast of Elite in order to know at least how to introduce herself to everyone. He promised her a million times they are going to love her while they were dressing and again a gazillion times while he was rushing her out of the flat because the cab was waiting for them for ten minutes already.

  She was so nervous that the whole ride to one of the most luxurious clubs in Madrid, her hands were caressing her dress over and over as her bottom and upper lip were switching turns between her teeth. She is very insecure and wants to make a proper first impression, hoping that maybe after this night she could call them her friends, not only Miguel’s.    

  What she didn’t knew, was that Miguel already spoke to his friends and told them that his date is a little shy and is worried about not making through the night. Well, maybe to be more convincing, he used the words “she is fucking freaking out right now” with some laughing emojis. He subtle asked them to try and talk to her first and give her a chance, because she became one of the most important people from his life, he could already call her his little sister. They love each other, but there are no romantic sentiments involved; Miguel is over heels in love with Aitana and Y/n is secretly crushing over his co-star, Arón Piper.  

  When they arrived, her hands started to shake and she was constantly telling herself that she wouldn’t survive the night. Miguel is different than Y/n, he is very dynamic, smiling maybe too much and he has a lovely personality so no one could resist to him, or this is what she thought. She didn’t believe him, she is convinced that his friends wouldn’t like her.  But Miguel rolled his eyes again at the sight of his dearest friend worrying so much; he finds her so funny and amazing, with a golden heart and the best in everything. Seriously thought, he couldn’t understand how she is can perfectly change a lighting bulb and also fix everything around the house, emanating so much seriousness and experience. And also he couldn’t understand how she is so smart, astonishing him with so many random facts about any subject he could made out, even the weirdest one and not so usual. He is so sure she would make friends easily that if he could give her all of his assurance, he would take her worries away without blinking.      

  Danna and Ester were waiting for them in front of the club, supposing about Y/n. Miguel had sent Danna some funny videos of Y/n and some cute photos since they live together and she could tell she’s as peppy as he is and there is no coincidence that Miguel calls her his sister, they are alike. Danna couldn’t wait to meet her and Ester is scrolling down on y/n’s Instagram and appreciates her beauty and let a few appreciative comments about her the talent for modelling to slip her mouth. They already like her.

  As they approaches the trio – Álvaro joined his girlfriend soon enough to hear a part of the conversation about y/n – that was waiting for them already for fifteen minutes, Miguel put a hand over her shoulders and smiled to her before turn to his friends and smile to them too. He shake hands with Álvaro and hugged him as he tells how much he missed him. Álvaro come to introduce himself and then followed two kisses on your cheeks – a very strange habit that those Spanish people have, but y/n finds it very sweet actually.

  “Well, Joder chica!” Danna exclaims as she approaches y/n and kiss her cheeks as greeting. “It’s so nice to finally meet you! Miguel talks about you nonstop!”

  She blushes at Danna’s words and accepts Ester hug. Y/n smiles bright that soon enough her mouth and cheeks will hurt her. She is happy, they all seem so nice and finally understood why Miguel tried to familiarise her with the names of Elite cast. She thought that he wants to introduce her to more surfing friends and when she asked, he refused to give her any details, fuelling her worries even more.     

  As the night flew by, her worries were found sinking in one of the many drinks, maybe in the fifth glass that once was filled with y/n’s Mojito. Danna is laughing at  one of y/n’s jokes and squeezes Jorge’s hand even harder. Everyone is laughing, starting with Miguel who is so proud of her for letting those worries away and continuing with Omar who couldn’t introduce himself properly and doesn’t even know the name of the funniest girl at the table. Even Arón is laughing while studying her face and the way she’s trying so hard not to burst into laughing while telling another funny story of hers.

  Miguel smiles bright at the sight of his best friend integrating into his group. He doesn’t have to worry anymore about her, she is surrounded by his dearest friends and already being part of the family. That’s what made her felt a little bit overwhelmed; y/n found herself standing beside these amazing people, so talented and so fucking kind for allowing her to feel again that family vibe she’s been missing, due to the fact she is so far from home already for an entire month.      

  Her eyes couldn’t move away from where Arón was dancing and singing to the remix hearing through the speakers, with a drink in his hand and, sometimes she saw him with a cigarette in the other one. Arón is the life of the party, she knows that, every other girls knows, even he knows that. He is a very good-looking man, that screams all the looks that are destined to him, but y/n can see beyond that. She can see how good friend is with other members of Elite cast, she can see how much fun everyone has around him and all she could do is to stand there and watch him with her mouth opened in surprise as Arón started rapping to one of his favourite songs.

  This is far from her favourite music genre, she couldn’t help smiling and enjoying that moment so much that she even considers listening to that king of music more often. Why everything sounds so perfect in Spanish? Why is everything so perfect in this country?  

  Y/n didn’t speak to Arón much, only few phrases related to his drink and her wanted to sit next to Miguel, but that was all. A few drinks later, Omar initiated a Poker game and though it was y/n’s first time playing, she surprised everyone – even herself – by winning too many rounds and collecting too many useless cigarettes, a bunch of them coming from Arón. That was Arón’s idea, to play with usual cigarettes instead of money, it makes the game more interesting to him.       

There were far too few hours until the sun rise when the party was over, and y/n is barely keeping her eyes open. Standing outside the club, saying goodbye to everyone, made her heart heavy; she didn’t wanted to say goodbye to anyone, she didn’t wanted the party to end because she is so sure she’s never goona hangout with them again. But when y/n felt Danna’s hand patting her softely on the shoulder, asking for y/n’s phone number, talking about a future gathering, maybe a shopping session, just the girls, made y/n’s heart skip some beats.

Arón didn’t remain untouched to her charm, he saw something in her too, and all night was trying to somehow catch her attention. He hoped that she is maybe more brave than he is, he hoped all night she would come to his side and start a conversation. But when the party ended, he realised he has to do something – however little – and not just let her go. He wanted to hangout with her again, to have a chance to speak properly and know more about the girl that beated the shit out of him at – what he thought poker was – his game.

Y/n watches as Danna get into the cab and from the corner of her eyes, she saw Arón approaching. Her hands started shaking so hard, she had to hide them in the pockets of Miguel’s jacket. She admits it feels weird to wear his jacket, but it was all his fault that she forgot hers back at his place, because he was rushing her. She never worked well under pressure.

“Nice played! I’ve never thought I’ll met someone who can beat my ass at Poker.” He admitted, scratching the back of his neck nervously. He has the most gorgeous smile y/n has ever seen and her legs almost yielded, but she put the blame on the beers and the high heels. Y/n hates wearing heels, but even she knows sneakers don’t really fit for clubs.

“I’ve never thought I’ll met someone with so many cigarettes. Like, the world is ending and you had to make your full?” she smiled as she watched him laugh. He has a beautiful laugh too and his face just lights up when he’s not putting on that bad ass face Y/n finds interesting and hot.

“Speaking of cigarettes, here, take them!” she handed him the packs she won at the game, excluding the ones that she owes Miguel because he shared his so that she would be able to play.

“I figured you’re not a smoker. Damn, that’s what I call a profit. I arrived here with like two packs and I’m leaving with three. And I smoked a lot too.” Both of them laughed, and Y/n just couldn’t believe he’s a funny one as well. Damn, this boy has the whole package.

When Miguel informed her about the cab’s arrival, Arón smiled and opened his arms. He likes hugs and likes hugging people, being affectionate to them. So doing this move to her, the fact that he was maybe into y/n couldn’t be recognised. She looked at him astonished, but accepted his invitation anyway. Since the first time she saw him, she wondered how it is to hug him, how does his body feels and how his cologne smells. It was neither a short hug nor a long one, just perfect for them to memorise each other’s shape of the body and to share their perfume on each other’s clothes.

—————

Y/n moved out from Miguel’s place a while ago, but she was around a lot so she’s not really missing many things. He often makes little comments about it, but he didn’t mind having her around; y/n and Aitana are very close friends now and them allying together to beat Miguel’s ass at some video game is going him nuts, they are sometimes successful.

Everything reminded her of Arón. Y/n even started at some point comparing the hugs Miguel gives to that one stupid drunk hug outside the club when she met Arón. Miguel is taller than Arón, but also much more imposing. Arón is tall too, much taller than she, but he’s body isn’t that worked out, she felt his biceps in that stupid hug and hurt pretty bad when she accidentally hit her head to his jawline. But despite that, she finds so hard to stop staring at his Instagram profile and not to be excited when he posts something new on his profile or he films something for his Instastory. She had to admit at some point, he’s a total snack, even though he doesn’t have a six-pack. Y/n didn’t like that kind of boys anyway, she finds Arón perfect as he is, with his beautiful brown eyes, those little tattoos that can be seen on his naked torso and his messy, curly hair. When Miguel told her that she had a type and that in the category fits Arón perfectly, y/n just ignored him and rolled her eyes. After that she couldn’t stop thinking about it; he did it to see how her face is changing and to strengthen his suspicion.

Arón was thinking about Y/n a lot lately, and the short videos with her laughing or doing something stupid or funny that Miguel shares on their group chat isn’t helping. He couldn’t focus on set, in the last few hangouts with his friends, he hoped to see her and hear her laugh again, he hoped this time would be able to look her in the eye and made a proper conversation. But she didn’t show up at any of them. Everyone was asking about her, but Miguel just waved his hand at them and told everyone y/n has her own life and her own problems; she didn’t have to show up beside him at every gathering. Arón soon enough found out that Danna was keeping in touch with her and asked maybe too often about her. When he texted Miguel and asked what is y/n’s Instagram, Miguel understood soon enough that Arón got the hots for y/n.

Y/n was going back and forth through Miguel’s kitchen as she was trying to make a healthy smoothie for her and Miguel, with his dogs following her everywhere. Miguel’s dogs are her favourite and she always makes fun of him saying that she’s around this much because of the dogs.       

“Aye, chica” she turned her head towards Miguel who was standing on the couch in the living room watching some boring Tv show on Netflix.

Y/n was dwelling on these dreams of Arón. He was hanging out too much inside her mind, being there with his lovely eyes, his bright smile and the dazzling cologne coming after her. She was one day walking through Madrid and somehow recognised it. It’s like he was following her everywhere.

“Sí” y/n answered back when she figured he wanted to capture his attention.

“Check your phone” he wickedly smiled and that made her raise her eyebrow at him, with only bad things running through her head because that smile of his means only trouble.

“Instagram: @aron.piper started following you”

She froze. What the heck is going on? Y/n stalked him maybe too many days on Instagram because she never thought he might find her through his endless list of likes or followers.

“Joder!” she almost screamed when he responded to her story. Miguel was laughing his ass out at her reactions, he thought she is very funny.

“I’ve never thought I’ll met someone who is more obsessed with this tv show than me”

“I’ve never thought I’ll met someone who can make me listen to that rap music kind of thing and made me like it. But then I met you” she responded.

And then they talked over and over and almost every night. On some point they ended up where he just likes her message, not knowing what to say more. And those moments made Y/n think “That’s it, the conversation ends here and I might never talk to him again”. She fears every times that happens this way that that might be the end of the most beautiful moments she has had in the past couple of months. And while he’s looking for any proper response, she’s clenching every time her heart between her teeth and allows herself to be a pain in the ass and just write him one of the many random facts she knows.  

She has never felt this kind of emotion before, neither one of them. She has never felt the love from another person. Of course, Miguel loves her, he’s her best friend, she laugh at her phone too when he sends her funny messages, but she never felt like she could fly any moment and never thought her cheeks could hurt so much from smiling hours and hours at a phone talking to this amazing man. He is so beautiful inside and out and her stomach hurts when she thinks about him and that stupid hug.

Arón’s not less than Y/n. He’s also confused by the feelings from his chest and the thoughts that are containing Y/n in every single one. He also wonders why does he smiles like a sociopath at his phone and why he feels the need to talk to her any moment of the day. Y/n fascinates him in a way he never thought any woman would.

“You’re so in love, tonta!” Miguel smiled at her and rolled his eyes again. She has been neglecting him for the previous hours, and he is kinda pissed – he had to play alone their favourite game, for the countless night in a row – however he doesn’t make any comments. He has never seen her so happy; he is very proud,because two of his dearest friends managed to find someone right for each ohter.

For the first time, she’s in love. In love with the best person she could find, with a curly haired boy that smokes too many cigarettes but still manages to smell so good. Arón found out a few days later than Y/n that he’s heart had been stolen by the most brilliant woman he has ever met. But both of them are as scared of that.

[felicia-cat-hardy]

My 'Pretty Little Liars' Obsession Led Me To My Best Friend

“Got a secret, can you keep it?” Well, I’ve got one: Though Pretty Little Liars ended in 2017, the seven-season mystery thriller schemed its way into being an integral part of my life for the long haul, so much so that the opening credits live in my head rent-free. To this day, each time I hear the sinister theme song — “Secret” by The Pierces — I’m brought right back to my childhood comfort show (ahem, obsession). The visuals begin with a swipe of mascara, the smear of red lipstick, and a clasp of a heel onto a porcelain doll, which makes me feel like I’m watching someone get pampered for prom. Until, of course, it cuts to four girls standing in front of a casket. It's a chilling moment, one that, until Season 6B, ended with Aria Montgomery (Lucy Hale) delivering her iconic “shh.” I got cast under the show’s spell the first time I saw it, and I wasn’t the only one: Pretty Little Liars led me to my best friend.

Ironically, plotlines about deceit and betrayal actually helped ignite a long-lasting friendship. In 2011, the only other person I knew to be watching PLL was my now-BFF, Taylor, who’s been by my side for over a decade. We were only about 11 and 12 when it premiered, so shout out to our parents for letting us watch a show that dealt with very adult themes like substance use disorder, assault, and grief. Unlike our classmates, who watched tween-appropriate hits like iCarly and Victorious, we became PLL stans.

As fans know, the show is loosely based on the Sara Shepard YA series of the same name, and the first book was my entry point into the PLL universe. I loved reading about blackmailers and murderers navigating high school, but I thought I was the only one who was into it. (Was this my ~I’m different~ complex showing, or were my peers just naturally more inclined to recap Dance Moms? I’ll never know.) So, Taylor first struck up a conversation with me at school because she spotted the first PLL book on my desk — you know, the one painted with porcelain wax dolls warning to “never trust a pretty girl with an ugly secret” in a Gothic script. She asked if I’d watched the TV adaptation yet and we immediately exchanged phone numbers to text about upcoming episodes. We then fell into the fandom. Fast.

I’d never talked to Taylor before this interaction — we had only been in a few classes together — but I always saw her as approachable and friendly. Universally, the beginning of middle school is a big and terrifying year when kids from different elementary schools unite. Eager to meet new people, I reached for friendship at any chance I could get. Taylor made it easy. Aside from being a genuinely kind person (a rare trait for a middle schooler!), she was fangirling over the same thing as me.

Fast forward over a decade later, and the show still feels timeless, especially in its accurate depictions of how dramatic high school can get. It’s no surprise there��s a PLL HBO Max reboot on the way along with the remakes of other buzzy shows from that era (hello, 2010s nostalgia). Ah. It was a simpler time. Back then, Freeform was still ABC Family and for me, Tuesdays meant one thing: PLL is on. What first started as a solo viewing experience soon became a designated hangout time, a time slot reserved for me and Taylor to gush over how much we loved Ashley Benson. (We still do!)

The series had a vibe similar to Gossip Girl or Bridgerton in that a mysterious, unidentifiable pot-stirrer keeps fans guessing each episode, but it was arguably so much better since “A,” the anonymous villain, is out for, you know, murder. Ultimately, it was the type of whodunit that made me and Taylor (and millions of viewers) go down a couple of Reddit rabbit holes — remember the “Aria is A” suspicion? — and this is where my and Taylor’s experience with fan theories began.

Oh, and let’s not forget the location. PLL takes place in the fictional suburb of Rosewood, Pennsylvania, and for two girls from Bucks Country — aka the Philadelphia ‘burbs — we ate it up. The beloved “Welcome to the Dollhouse” episode was exceptionally creepy not only because the Liars get locked into a life-size replica of their bedrooms, but also because our real neighborhood looks extremely similar to their hometown. It operates like Rosewood, too, in that small-town gossip travels at lightning speed.

The Pennsylvania-based plotline also made it easier for us to identify with the characters, who felt like extensions of ourselves. In many ways, we got to know each other through their personalities. Taylor is studious and high-achieving, obviously a Spencer. And I owned feather earrings because I saw Lucy Hale sport them in Season 1, so obviously an Aria. Asking “Are you more of a Hanna or an Emily?” held as much weight in 2012 as asking someone their rising sign in 2021. While it might not say much, it also tells you everything you need to know about a person.

PLL got its start right before live-tweeting shows became popularized, so when we weren’t together, I used to text Taylor on my slide-out keyboard phone (only Zillennials will remember) to compare notes without stumbling upon many spoilers. They read something like this: “Caleb and Hanna are soul mates, TBH.” Like every other fan, we theorized about why A had to be Ian… and Melissa… and Jenna… and Mona… and, you get the point. When our elaborate speculations ran cold, we’d pause DVR’d episodes to gather more clues, like glimpses of Red Coat’s face in her second season introduction, or inspections of those eerie-gloved hands assembling dolls and sharpening knives at the end of each episode.

This game of Clue made room for conversations about all the things. We were in high school during the show’s peak, so it felt like the Liars had laid the groundwork for how to operate our school’s halls. Rosewood High was not traditional — uh, multiple students came back from the dead (*cough* Mona and Alison) — but it did prepare us for the stressors of college applications and first romantic relationships. In fact, Benson’s Hanna Marin would be proud of my matchmaking skills because back then, I introduced Taylor to the boyfriend she’s still with today.

As we both grew up with the show, our friendship got even deeper. The Liars weren’t the only ones to share secrets, and I found it incredibly easy to confide in Taylor. She’s trustworthy, level-headed, compassionate, and an excellent listener. She’s someone I know will always pick up on the second ring and is the type of friend to be there with advice, reassurance, and a quick-witted one-liner. She once joked about never needing a diary because we’ve transcribed the past 10 years of our lives via text.

Our bond has remained strong, especially because the most outrageous PLL-esque plotlines of our lives are ones we’ve experienced together. I love Taylor because I don’t have to provide background for my stories. I’m even so familiar with the cast of characters in her life that when someone re-enters after a long period, I like to say they Alison DiLaurentis’ed her.

And on the off-chance she’s not there to witness something meaningful happen to me IRL, she’s always ready to decipher what went down over texts or dinner and drinks — just like we did when we were teens trying to figure out who A was (minus the wine, of course).

The way she can reconstruct my way of thinking and offer up a perspective I hadn’t seen before is almost paranormal. Whether these are Taylor’s naturally given talents or traits learned from peeling back all the layers of the series, I’m not sure. But she’s always there to decode situations with me — whether they relate to a TV show or during moments when I feel lost.

I couldn’t be more thankful that Taylor entered my life and that PLL played a role in our friendship. I feel so incredibly lucky to know someone like her. Plus, now I have someone who is obligated to watch the reboot with me. Ali was right: Friends do share secrets. And she’s ~quite literally~ the reason Taylor’s got all of mine. Spencer and Aria, you’ve got some competition.

Get Relationship Advice Here

[princeasimdiya12]

I adore your talentswap backstories! I'd like you to write some headcanons for my Talentshift SDR2 au. It consists of Mechanic!Hajime, ReserveCourse!Mahiru, Photographer!Ibuki, Musician!Fuyuhiko, Yakuza!Gundham, Breeder!Chiaki, Gamer!Mikan, Nurse!Nagito, Lucky!Imposter, Imposter!Peko (impersonating non-despair Junko), Swordswoman!Sonia, Prince!Nekomaru, Coach!Teruteru, Chef!Hiyoko, TraditionalDancer!Akane, and Gymnast!Kazuichi. If not, I completely understand.

Hey anon! I’m glad you enjoyed them! ^_^ And I’d be happy to make some headcanons for your AU. But just to let you know anon, I would appreciate it if you asked me first before sending me your listed requests. I honestly don’t mind writing headcanons for talentswaps (I honestly enjoy doing that) but I would appreciate you asking me and then sending them to me. That way it doesn’t take me by surprise. 

So without further ado, here are my headcanons for your SDR2 Talentswap AU.

Peko Pekoyama as the SHSL Imposter

While Peko was adopted by the Kuzuryu Clan, she didn’t have a choice in her lifelong profession like Fuyuhiko did.

She was made to work as an infiltration agent.

As a professional imposter, Peko learned how to analyze and copy the body movements and behaviors of any potential person. 

She also was taught how to apply makeup to make her disguises as accurate as possible.

Her assignments involved abducting low level workers of rival clans and taking their place while disguised as them.

She’d then relay the rival clan’s weaknesses and business transactions towards the Kuzuryu’s so they can exploit them.

Peko was discouraged from having any personal interests or hobbies so that her infiltration and identity theft skills wouldn’t be tarnished.

This made Peko feel more like a tool and how she only existed to promote the success of the Kuzuryu Clan. 

When Fuyuhiko was scouted to go to Hope’s Peak, her superiors used their connections to grant Peko a spot with him to keep an eye on him.

She would take on Junko Enoshima’s image given that the supermodel was busy with her own personal affairs.

Although no one can recognize her while disguised, the viewer/player can recognize Peko with her thick glasses and piercing red eyes.

Hiyoko Saionji as the SHSL Chef

Hiyoko came from a family of culinary masters who amazed Japan with their creative and flavorful dishes.

There was unfortunately alot of drama within the family as they each wanted to train Hiyoko so they can pass their personal culinary training onto her.

Her grandmother managed to win and was one of the most ruthless teachers ever. 

Under her training, Hiyoko received burns, cuts and having her food thrown in her face just for making the smallest of slip ups.

Her brutal training mixed with having negative relations with her family made her bitter and aggressive towards everyone around her.

She also has a hard time trusting others to work with her in the kitchen due to multiple incidents where dishes were poisoned and nearly tarnished Hiyoko’s reputation.

Because of this, she prefers to work alone in the kitchen. When she’s assigned to work with partners or underlings, she can be best described as Gordon Ramsay if he were a sassy lost child.

She often holds a knife or a frying pan whenever she’s threatening someone she doesn’t like.

Her culinary specialties involve desserts such as wasabon and kompeito.

Ibuki Mioda as the SHSL Photographer

Throughout her childhood, Ibuki was neglected by her caregivers so she took up photography as a means of distracting herself from the loneliness of her household.

She managed to earn her success by taking high quality photos of lovers in romantic situations.

At her middle school, she made it a game for herself to see how many pictures she could get of different couples at her school without getting caught.

While developing her photos, the couples tried to chastise Ibuki for her actions but they immediately changed their minds when they saw how cool the photos looked.

Ibuki gained a reputation among her peers for her photos and now everyone wanted one too.

This resulted in Ibuki getting alot of “friends” who only wanted to hang out with her just so she could photograph them doing what they wanted while conveniently leaving out the photographer herself.

The fact that these people only cared about her talent so she can capture their memories for them gave Ibuki a sense of familiar loneliness.

Despite this, she wants to enjoy her talent as much as she can with an upbeat attitude.

Ibuki’s favorite subject to photograph are people.

She loves to people watch since the people walking around come in different shapes and sizes and are always doing something unique that you wouldn’t expect.

Sonia Nevermind as the SHSL Swordswoman

Sonia came from a family of professional swordfighters who taught her the power of the blade at an early age.

She grew up on European fairy tales and legends of powerful heroes who used their swords to fight for justice or prove their superiority against enemies who opposed them.

Her family taught her classical fencing, mordhau, the half-sword, destreza and several other fighting styles which she claims are a secret.

She earned her title after winning multiple swordfighting tournaments, many of which were held underground. 

Despite her victories, she’s actually been hospitalized due to the extreme injuries she received from sword wounds and physical attacks from her opponents.

Since these wounds have yet to diminish her fighting power, Sonia feels that it’s best to pay them no mind so she can continue her family’s legacy.

She’s never seen without her longsword which she made herself. She calls it Stjerneild because there were shooting stars on the night of making it and also since she burned herself during the process.

Sonia isn’t afraid to boast about her fighting skills and eagerly offers her girl friends the chance to learn how to use a sword.

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu as the SHSL Light Music Club Member

Rather than becoming the next heir of his family business, Fuyuhiko wanted to pursue his dream of being an idol.

He takes his career extremely seriously and wouldn’t do stupid stunts or scandals that could jeopardize his work.

To make up for his young appearance, Fuyuhiko uses outfits that have a punk aesthetic while also incorporating black and gold color schemes to make him look older.

Alot of his songs feature themes of embracing your personal talents or how it’s better to carve your own path rather than rely on others.

He knows how to play the electric guitar and the keyboard. 

Having refused his parents’ intended career plans, he feels that he can’t screw up his career or else everything he ever worked for will be for nothing and he’d have to crawl back to them for support.

His sister Natsumi often joins him during his tours and unofficially becomes his manager and bodyguard during her visits. 

He has a hard time dealing with fanclub meetings because the fangirls would make jokes about his baby face which would drive him insane.

Akane Owari as the SHSL Traditional Dancer

Just like in canon, Akane had to take care of her younger siblings while struggling to survive her poor hometown.

While she did take different jobs to support her family, she would lose those jobs constantly because she kept getting into fights against strangers who tried to grope and harass her.

One day, while she was training by herself in an empty plaza, a woman passed by and paid close attention to her fighting form and rhythm.

She revealed herself to Akane as a traditional dance instructor and offered to train Akane to perfect her skills.

The girl wasn’t interested in doing something fancy like dancing but she changed her mind when she realized that her dancing could be used to raise money for her family. To which, she accepted.

While the instructor taught Akane the fundamentals of mai and odori techniques, the girl performed better when she used her own skills.

While frustrated, the instructor decided to rework her teaching style so Akane’s performances would be passable while also integrating her own skills.

She ended up winning multiple competitions and performances and used the prize money to move her family into a bigger and better house.

Although her reputation as an “easy waitress” would often rear its ugly head and would make Akane become agitated.

Her dancing moves incorporate alot of her old fighting techniques.

She wears a cherry red kimono with a yellow dragon etched on the side as a design.

At the end of each performance, she can be found at the snacks table eating just about everything.

Nagito Komaeda as the SHSL Nurse

Nagito lost his family when he was just a child.

Having pity on the boy, along with finding traces of frontotemporal dementia, the head doctor of the hospital he resided in decided to adopt the boy as his own.

Nagito became the doctor’s apprentice and learned of the different techniques that came with working in the medical field. 

The doctor taught him which drugs/medicines were used for what along with how to use the surgical tools properly.

He personally saw different medical cases each more mesmerizing than the last. 

He became fixated on the concept of death and how it was an integral part of life.

When he became old enough, he started to work as a nurse and partake in the same surgeries he saw as a child.

While he certainly participated in a number of cases that saved the lives of his patients, he also had a number of cases that resulted in death.

He personally requested to handle the patients that were unable to be saved so he can spend their final moments with them and capture the memory of their deaths.

There’s been word from the medical staff that he tries to comfort the dying patient and their family with speeches on how they shouldn’t be afraid of death and how the patient will move on to greater things in the next life and how the families will become stronger afterwards.

This has earned him the nickname “Angel of Death”. 

He wears mint green scrubs and carries a portable bag withhis own medical equipment.

Teruteru Hanamura as the SHSL Coach

Despite his physique, Teruteru has amazing stamina and is capable of lifting heavy objects that ordinary people would have trouble lifting on their own.

Teruteru can analyze a person’s physical stature and determine which exercise or physical activity best suits them.

He always offers massage therapy proclaiming that it’s the best way to strengthen the body and relax the mind.

There are multiple cases where the players he’s worked with have accused him of sexual harassment or groping their bodies. 

He has a complicated relationship with his family.

The younger siblings antagonize him for pursuing a career that isn’t related to their family’s restaurant business while putting more hardships on their mother.

His mom on the other hand, is more accepting of his career and asks that he focus more on what he enjoys doing in life.

Teruteru’s massages originally stemmed from how he would give massages to his mama to help alleviate her of her body aches.

He wears a dark red track suit and gold chain. Mixed with his combed over hair, it makes him look like a sleazy gangster.

Chiaki Nanami as the SHSL Animal Breeder

As the daughter of a rich family that hardly had time for her, Chiaki’s parents bought her a variety of animals to keep her company.

She found comfort with them but was heartbroken when she noticed that they became saddened and died.

She became motivated to learn from them so they could stay alive for long as possible.

Chiaki began studying different types of animals and what behaviors are ideal and which are concerning.

After school, she would venture to local animal shelters and veterinarians and offer to volunteer so she can work with different animals and examine first hand their behaviors.

She earned recognition by forming connections with the animals in her care and teaching them commands.

While she prefers the company of animals to humans, she will make an effort to help her human clients have a better relationship with their pets.

She can often be found napping alongside any of her animal friends.

Sagishi as the SHSL Lucky Student

Saigishi grew up in an orphanage having been abandoned by their family before they can remember.

They noticed that they had an unusual luck themed streak when it came to playing with the other kids.

If they were playing soccer, they would accidentally kick the ball into the window which surprisingly knocked out a janitor that was about to assault one of the orphanage workers.

If they tried to pass a love letter to another child they had a crush on, a burst of wind would fly the letter straight into the child’s face and they’d end up having a terrible accident.

If they were preparing food for an upcoming dinner, they would end up pouring too much vinegar into the meal which would spoil the dinner resulting in the staff having to order pizza for the kids.

Saigishi developed a reputation as a kid with creepy powers which both amazed and terrified their fellow orphans.

The kid realized that their luck would only benefit the people around them but would make bad things happen if they tried to use it for themselves.

At the urging of their friends, they ended up participating in the Hope’s Peak Lottery and wound up with the chance to join them as the next SHSL Lucky Student.

Sagishi was worried since something bad would eventually happen if it was the work of their luck, but they decided to take the offer knowing that they needed to make a future for themselves.

They wear a white collared shirt with old jeans. 

They still have a mullet which has a small ahoge on the top of their head.

Mikan Tsumiki as the SHSL Gamer

She still had a horrible childhood growing up where her family and classmates would bully and abuse her for a variety of reasons.

Not wanting to put up with their abuse anymore, Mikan decided to drop out of middle school and become a hikikomori.

Using her worn out computer, Mikan found comfort in playing online video games. 

She personally enjoys fighting games as she imagines her enemies as her abusers and would deliver swift justice on them by beating them up.

Mikan has a preference for playing as male characters since the female characters wearing skimpy/stripper-esque outfits bring back painful memories for her.

After sufficient online practice, Mikan gained enough confidence to try tournaments in the real world. 

But she kept this secret from her family in fear that they would use this to torment her.

When it comes to tournaments, she unleashes her pent up anger and frustrations for her past tormentors by cursing at her opponents as she beats them.

While her fandom is impressed with her gaming skills, they do question why they would call her opponents by a different name and accuses them of doing something awful to her.

When she wants to calm down after a heavy day, she likes to play relaxing games with cute animals.

Nekomaru Nidai as the SHSL Prince

During his childhood years, Nekomaru stayed in his room because of his heart condition.

He received private tutoring based on the history of his kingdom along with different world cultures.

His father and mother spared no expense in providing the best doctors and medical professionals who could ensure that their son would be physically fit.

When he started making appearances outside of the palace, there were rumors that the frail prince was placed in a secret government program that was designed to create super soldiers.

He’s often recognized for working first as a soldier under his father’s militia before becoming of it’s main generals.

Nekomaru is well versed when it comes to proper etiquette and engaging in the company of royals or high class aristocrats. 

He has a personal club made of suitors who have fallen for his image as a charming (and handsome) prince.

He also devotes alot of time to interacting with the middle class of his kingdom as he believes having a bond with his people is important for a royal to have.

The main uniform he wears is a blue military outfit with a silver sash and a black beret with a family jewel in the front.

Gundam Tanaka as the SHSL Yakuza

He inherited the throne of the Tanaka Empire at an early age due to the death of his father.

He wasn’t able to remember his father but the stories passed by his underlings and advisors describe him as a devil who was incredibly powerful but dangerous when provoked.

His mother on the other hand, remembers him as a loving man who was very attentive toward her needs.

Gundam would unintentionally embrace his father’s memory thanks to his “overlord” personality which would make him come off as overly dramatic and sinister to his enemies.

His reign as a yazuka lord involved more emphasis on spiritual affairs by bringing spiritual communities under his Empire.

He personally believes that maintaining ties with the spirits and Gods will grant the Tanaka Empire a stronger chance of survival.

While maintaining relationships with minor businesses under his control, he would also invite potential gang groups for tea ceremonies and offer them the chance to join him.

He’s been trained by his advisors in using a katana and gun making him skilled enough to handle even the most dangerous of gang members.

While he’s capable of defeating them, he vows never to take the blood of anyone weaker than him or unless he’s given no other choice.

Before entering high school, Gundam was able to have his upper and lower body tattooed with images of oni demons and spirits.

He found the Four Dark Devas when he passed by a street and saw the four hamsters foraging for food in a dumpster. 

He also expresses admiration for Sonia’s impressive swordfighting skills and has offered her an opportunity to work for his Empire if she wishes.

Kazuichi Souda as the SHSL Gymnast

Kazuichi got into gymnastics by reading alot of shonen manga.

He was impressed by how athletic and fit the heroes were so he wanted to train and be like them.

When not helping in his dad’s shop, he would try practicing parkour near the streets of his town to help him develop better flexibility.

While practicing at middle school, his teachers noticed his potential and offered him a spot in a gymnastics program.

His dad didn’t like him getting into “girly shit” like gymnastics and frequently insulted him for it. 

He would often perform for his friends which impressed them at first. But then things got troublesome when they requested him to do flips and jumps for their amusement.

It got worse when they tricked him into breaking into a second story classroom so he could steal the answers for an upcoming test.

Not wanting to be taken advantage of again, Kazuichi gave himself a radical makeover so no one would mess with him.

Along with his pink hair, his outfit consists of a black tanktop with neon green stripes and yellow shorts.

Hajime Hinata as the SHSL Mechanic

His parents rented his own shop for him to work at but they personally didn’t invest their own time to work with him.

To avoid having to think about his loneliness, Hajime placed all of his effort and thinking into his work.

He began receiving requests to repair average household appliances before moving on to bigger machines.

He’s received alot of praise for improving the appliances while also explaining to the owners on how they should best maintain their appliances so they can last longer 

The machines that he worked best with were vehicles and motorcycles.

Despite being underage, Hajime managed to practice driving on his own and learned how to drive the basic motor vehicles.

While he’s grateful for his mechanic talent, he often worries if he’s really living his life to the fullest and if there’s something missing that he needs to achieve.

His favorite invention is a hoverboard that he uses to ride around his hometown to clear his mind after a hard day’s work.

His mechanic uniform is a mechanic uniform with a design similar to that of a racecar driver. 

Mahiru Koizumi as a Reserve Course Student

While Mahiru was interested in the idea of going into Hope’s Peak, she wasn’t confident enough in her photography skills to go through with the entrance exam. 

At the insistence of her best friend Sato, Mahiru ended up in the Reserve Course so they can fight for the chance to be special.

While she didn’t mind the work provided by her classes, Mahiru took notice of how her peers had a hard time with paying for their tuition along with even getting into the Talent program. 

She also had to deal with Sato having to fight against her old rival Natsumi who was picking fights with her while trying to get recognized herself.

She became an unofficial peace keeper of her class as she would chastise her classmates for picking fights against each other or making rude remarks.

As time went on, Mahiru herself was unable to keep up with her classes since the money to pay for them was running low. 

She would later receive an e-mail from the Steering Committee offering her a chance of entering the Talent program through an unconventional method that was funded by the school.

She had to cast that thought aside when Natsumi ended up dead and Sato is all but stated to have killed her out of frustration.

Soon vengeance would claim Sato’s life with Mahiru finding her in an empty classroom and on the brink of death with her head bleading.

Before dying, Sato begs her friend to make something special with her life and not to waste it in the Reserve Course. She knows that Mahiru will do great things in her life and that she believes in her.

Casting her doubts aside and refusing to let her friend’s death be in vain, she accepted the Steering Committee’s offer by participating in the Hope Cultivation Project.

[365days365movies]

February 1, 2021: Dirty Dancing (1987)

There are two people to credit for the beginning of this month. The first is my girlfriend, who asked that I represent her with this GIF.

Thank you, dear. Anyway, this is one of her favorite romance films, and she’s also not a big romance movie person. She was shocked that I hadn’t seen it, and that’s because of the second person to credit here: my Mom.

That is my Mom in the late ‘80s with her Pomeranian, Pugsley. Yup. This is just the GODDAMN SURFACE of my Mom, who’s quirky as shit. Love her for it, though. But, OK, why is my Mom involved here? Because this is also one of her favorite films. My Dad’s, too, but I’ll talk more about him in April.

However, if you read the Romance February introduction from yesterday, you might be wondering something. If my Mom’s taste in romance movies was so prevalent in my early life, how in the hell have I never seen this movie, one of her favorites? Especially considering the fact that, TMI here, but I WAS BORN TO THE FILM’S SOUNDTRACK. YES. REALLY. HOW HAVE I ESCAPED THIS MOVIE?

Yup. No clue. Shall we remedy that? SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

It’s 1963 in the Catskills, where Frances “Baby” Houseman (Jennifer Grey), a politically conscious young woman on her way into the Peace Corps, is going on vacation with her parents, Jake and Majorie Houseman (Jerry Orbach and Kelly Bishop), and her sister, Lisa (Jane Brucker). The owner, Max Kellerman (Jack Weston), who’s a friend of the Housemans, welcomes them to the resort.

Later that night, Max is briefing the young male waiters and entertainment, all of whom are hired from Ivy League universities. Well...except for the intriguing young dance instructor in the sunglasses. THAT...would be Johnny Castle (Patrick Swayze).

I wanna just say before I forget, I miss Patrick Swayze. He’s awesome, and he left far too soon.

The next night, during dinner, Max introduces Baby to his grandson, Neil (Lonny Price), who’s just graduated from Cornell’s Hotel Management school. A school which, for the record, is the best hotel school in the USA, and second or third in the world. Also, hotelies (that’s what we called them) are CRAZY. They’re an interesting...bunch...

I, uh... I went to CornellMOVING ON

As Neil awkwardly hits on Baby, everybody encourages them having a relationship, despite her CLEARLY not wanting any of this. She instead watches Johnny skillfully mambo with another girl on center floor. After being roped into a magic act by Neil, and given a chicken by Stan (Wayne Knight, which I’m a fan of), she leaves, annoyed and irritated.

On her way back, she sees Johnny’s cousin, Billy (Neal Jones) struggling with a few GIGANTIC watermelons. She offers to help him, and he brings her to a secret house party, where some dancing’s happening. Some...dirty dancing.

Interesting side note here: racial integration! In 1963, remember, so that’s interesting. I mean, if anybody’s a fan of that, it’s gonna be me. At the party, Johnny arrives with Penny Johnson (Cynthia Rhodes), his dance partner from the mambo floor. Johnny sees her there, and questions her presence, to which she makes an adorably awkward comment. And then...they do a dance of their own.

The next day, Lisa makes a love connection with one of the waiters, and asks Baby to cover for her. Baby also speaks to Penny, who doesn’t come from the best background. That night, Penny’s missing, and Neil gives Cornell students just the WORST goddamn name as he very awkwardly hits on Baby. He takes her to the kitchen, and that’s where Baby sees Penny.

Yeah, Penny’s not OK. Baby goes to Billy and Johnny, who go to get her. Turns out Penny’s pregnant, but Johnny’s not the father. They’re obviously quite close, although they aren’t romantically tangled. Baby, coming from a place of much higher privilege, doesn’t quite understand how difficult this is. Penny berates her for this, and it’s revealed that the father is Robbie Gould (Max Cantor), one of the waiters, who’s also the guy that’s been hanging around Lisa.

Baby confronts him the following day, where he states that “Some people count, some people don’t.” He also offers her a copy of The Fountainhead, a well-known book for complete and utter douchenozzles. She warns him to stay away from her sister, then goes to ask her father for money for the abortion. Which, by the way, was very illegal in 1963. She gets the money from her dad, who gives it without asking many questions.

However, there’s an issue; Johnny and Penny have to dance on the only night she can get the abortion. And there’s nobody to replace her...except maybe Baby? Johnny’s entirely against it, they end up convincing him, for Penny’s sake. And now, we get a hallmark of ‘80s cinema: the training montage.

This is a pretty good time to note three things. One, Jennifer Grey is the daughter of Joel Grey, one of the GREATEST actor/dancers ever to grace Hollywood and Broadway. Dude was one of the main characters in Cabaret, for which he won an Oscar, and originated the role of the Wizard of Oz in Wicked. So, yeah, she’s got dancing blood. Secondly, Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey apparently HATED each other. Yeah, kind of a bummer. But their chemistry was SO GODDAMN POWERFUL, that they were able to push through their feelings and do this as well as they are. And third...THIS SOUNDTRACK BOPS. 

I get it. I GET IT.

Something else I get, too. The chemistry between Grey and Swayze really does sizzle, GODDAMN. Over the course of the montage, they clearly get closer emotionally...and physically. And yeah, it’s definitely there. Although, given the fact that they’re from different class backgrounds, it’s probably gonna be one of those stories. Well, OK. Let’s do it.

After a little too much time practicing, the two take a break. And yet, while on a nature excursion, they continue their training in different environments. Most iconically, they practice lifts in the lake.

Yeah...yeah, I get it.

The day approaches, and Baby and Penny have a bit of a heart-to-heart. Penny asks Lisa to cover for her (and I’m betting that she won’t, LIKE AN ASSHOLE), and she heads to the dance gig. It mostly goes OK, but the lift is aborted at the last second. However, the performance is still received well. They leave JUST before an elderly couple from the resort sees them. 

Johnny gives her a pep-talk, telling her that she did well, and the music on the car radio hints at their growing mutual attraction. But once they get there, tragedy’s struck. Turns out that the abortion doctor was a dangerous quack, and Penny’s now dangerous injured, in pain and possibly dying. Panicking, Baby does THE RIGHT THING, I can’t stress that enough, THE RIGHT GODDAMN THING, and gets her doctor father.

Understandably upset (and yeah, it is understandable, all things considered), Dr. Houseman forbids Baby from seeing Johnny or any of the others ever again. This situation...sucks. Damn. And Baby agrees, as she sneaks off to see Johnny anyway. She apologizes to Johnny for how her father treated her, but Johnny blames his own social status for it, rather than her father.

Their conversation becomes very real, and eventually turns into Baby declaring her love for Johnny. As a song comes on the radio, she asks him to dance with her. Giving in to his own feelings, he agrees. And together they engage in some...Dirty Dancing.

As the two dirty dance horizontally, the night turns to day. That morning, things are definitely awkward between Baby and her father, who almost takes his family away that night. But, his wife and Lisa convince him to stay. He even comes back to visit Penny, checking in to make sure she’s alright, which Baby finds out once she does the same.

Things are also a little awkward between Baby and Johnny, interestingly. Wonder how last night ended. Well, Penny figures it out, and warns Johnny about the risks off getting involved with the upper class. Which, remember, is how she ended up this way. The two have a tense-but-intimate exchange. Which just preludes this IMMEDIATELY happening.

Yeah, that’s not a surprise. Well, more heart-to-heart proceeds, and they continue to learn about each other’s lives. That night, Lisa tells Baby that she wants to go all the way with Robbie. Despite Baby’s warnings, Lisa simply tells her off, and is generally, I’ll be honest, a bitch. The next morning, though, Baby and Johnny have another dance session. And it’s THAT session. You know the one.

Neil interrupts, and proceeds to give a bad name to Cornellians everywhere (I’m not like that putz, I SWEAR), and pisses off Johnny in the process. She asks why he didn’t stand up for himself, and then immediately hides Johnny from her father, who’s walking with Robbie and Lisa. Rightfully calling her a hypocrite, he storms off.

And then they immediately resolve it. Which, GODDAMN, do I appreciate. Robbie strolls by, makes a typical crass comment about Baby, and then Johnny BEATS THE EVER-LOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM

OH FUCK YES. And if that wasn’t enough catharsis, Lisa catches Robbie with one of the high society wives from earlier, as they sleep together in a cabin. OH. YES. THAT’S SOME GOOOOOOOOOOOOD SHIT.

Baby and Johnny, in the actual good and fully-developed relationship of this movie, spend the night together. And are seen the next morning by the high society wife, who had the hots for Johnny.

The wife, Vivian (Miranda Garrison), implicates Johnny in stealing a wallet. Johnny’s about to be fired, and then BABY ADMITS THAT THEY WERE TOGETHER IN FRONT OF HER FATHER HOLY FUCK

She did it. She actually did it. Goddamn. And then, AND THEN, she TELLS HER FATHER OFF AND CALLS HER OUT FOR HIS ELITISM HOLY FUCKING SHIT I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS MOVIE. And then, Jerry Orbach fuckin’ starts tearing up, and I AM SHOOK MOTHERFUCKER

And yet, even though the wallets were actually stolen by an elderly couple that Baby actually implicated, Johnny gets fired anyway. GODDAMN. After Baby completely loses heart, Johnny confronts her father, and learns that he believes that he was the one who got Penny pregnant. Johnny semi-tells him off, then walks away.

At his car, Johnny and Baby say goodbye with a kiss, and Johnny heads off forever. I mean, probably not, there’s a good 16 minutes left, and we haven’t gotten to the most iconic scene of the film yet. But anyway, Baby mourns her lost relationship, and her sister actually bonds with her over this whole thing. Hot damn.

I want to punch Neil in the goddamn face. Mostly just because he’s on screen, but also because he LITERALLY ruins the goddamn anthem of Cornell University, by setting the anthem for the resort against its melody. Goddamn you, Neil. GODDAMN YOU. Also, fuck Robbie, because he LITERALLY OUTS HIMSELF to Dr. Houseman as Penny’s former deadbeat partner. As the anthem continues (to my rage), who shows up but Johnny, who comes to stick up for Baby and all she’s done.

He brings her up on stage, and interrupts the anthem (THANK YOU CHRIST) to perform the last dance of the season, as he always does. Despite Dr. Houseman’s would-be objections (prevented by his wife, who has moved up on my list of favorite characters), the two are left alone on stage. And that...is when the song plays. YOU KNOW THE GODDAMN SONG

Y’know, it’s funny, because this song is definitely an ‘80s song, making this whole sequence pretty goddamn anachronistic, but WHO CARES!? It’s one of the most iconic sequences in film history, especially of the era, and I love the hell out of it. The crowd cheers, the rest of the kids join in, the lift happens, father and daughter make up, everybody dances, I dance with my girlfriend, I LOVE IT! They kiss, they dance and the film fades to black.

Dirty Dancing! See you in the Review! Oh, I’m changing the name of that section, by the way. Alongside a few more things. You’ll see.

[kaypeace21]

i LOVE your analysis especially byler ones so please don't take this as hate, it's the last thing i want to do. but while i love the byler theories do you actually think the duffers are smart enough to realize the potential/brave enough to follow through on the relationship. bc tbh i think our viewpoint is skewed i don't think anyone but byler shippers see the canon possibility. and also it really seems like m/leven is going to be endgame? just wanted to know more of your thought process

Even if byler never happens- I’m 100% sure mileven won’t be endgame XD. Regardless of byler, Mike and El are just not going to happen. (Even if they’re ‘dating’ in s4). I could try to explain the reasons why I think byler will be endgame though. I’ll give the cliffnotes version. This will probably be a mess- because focusing on all the reasons isn’t as good as analyzing , each reason as it’s own separate post, in depth). 

Why mileven isn’t endgame

- The duffers said, while filming ST, El was supposed to die in s1 (glad that didn’t happen). And this was also their plan when pitching their show ‘Montauk’ (later retitled ST), saying that the hypothetical  s2 sequel would be about the boys returning to their town 10 years later. Mileven was never ‘planned end-game’. They also describe mileven kissing but never mention the word ‘love’ like how Jancy was described in the Montauk pitch. Nancy’s bio says “ she will experience love for the first time.”  But when they describe mileven, they say, “If Mike is the Elliot of our show, Eleven is our “E.T.” Like that’s … not romantic, Duffers. And if it was supposed to be … WTF did you guys watch the same film? 0-O

- In the byler centric s2, the Duffers kept mileven separated. And the mileven kiss wasn’t written in the show. Millie pretty much said “they had to do it.” Much to Matt’s confusion but then the Duffers agreed. And used ‘every breath you take’ (a song about divorce), and just by coincidence their 2nd back-up  song was also a song about a divorce? Nah, they were trolling.

- Most of the women (Nancy & Max) in the show critique Mileven saying Mike treats her as if she’s stupid, can’t take care of herself, or as she is a possession. 

-in the first ep of s3 almost all the guys (who had/have gfs) Hopper, Lucas, and Dustin all criticize the mileven relationship and think it’s unhealthy.

Hopper says “ They’re spending entirely too much time together… It is constant.It is constant! Okay? That is not normal, that is not healthy! ”

Lucas mocks Mike, saying “ Oh El, I wish we could make out forever and never hang out with any of our friends.”

Dustin says when they flake on him, “It’s bullshit, I just got home!” (insert Nancy calling Stancy ‘bullshit’)

and before this  Dustin talks about Romeo & Juliet (while mileven is out of frame). R&J is all about the dangers of not knowing the difference between love and infatuation. Juliet after Romeo is banished just complains about how in love/sad she is but never pursues looking for him (sound familiar)? R&J claimed that they were in love with each other after knowing each for a few days and deciding to get married-sabotaging the closest relationships they had with their friends/family (all in the name of ‘true love’) . Similarly Mileven thought they were in love after only a week of knowing each other, and the second they are reunited they start dating and spend all their time with each other. El is allowed out of the house (and her friends are allowed to visit), but El hasn’t interacted with Max nor Will? They spend almost everyday in her room just making out. Mike puts very little effort into integrating her into his life or as part of the group. The only time they go out- is for Mike to show off El to Dustin like a possession- then before El can even do the boding activity with the group (with the radio tower)- Mike convinces her to leave to make out. They are both complicit in this and they both bring out the worst in each other and they make each other blinded to their loved ones’ feelings.

- El literally asks Max “How do I know what I like?” Do I have to explain why this could be problematic? She even says “I don’t know”, when Max asks if Mike is a good kisser.You can call me ‘ableist’ my abused-autistic ass will disagree. But El is not ready for a romantic relationship! it makes perfect sense for El to be confused by the distinctions of romantic, platonic, and familial love- when the first 12 years of her life she didn’t receive any form of love , PERIOD! And she is not like normal abuse victims (she has never had proper socialization with peers her own age or even adults).All she had was television. She latches herself on to anyone who is kind to her (something I used to do). Without Mike she used Max as a replacement almost immediately, and even starts repeating/mirroring the things she says (specifically coping phrases from her …over 6 times!). She’s also susceptible to doing what others say or want her to do, “dumping his ass” (with Max’s validation and encouragement). El might love Mike but I don’t think it’s romantic, she latched on to the first person that was kind to her. Before their first kiss she asked Mike “Will you be like my brother?” And she’s hurt when he says “no”, asking “Why not?”. He then kisses her (she watches a lot of soap operas and she assumes it must be ‘romantic love’). You’re telling me that if she was ‘in love’ with Mike she would have been that happy over dumping him? I’m not saying El is dumb for not being able to discern these things (I think people without such backgrounds may still struggle with this concept). But it makes perfect sense for El to be confused by the distinctions of various loves or even the differences between ‘crushes’ , ‘physical attraction’ and ‘romantic love’ 

- In the last ep El asks about what he said at the cabin to Max, specifying “you talked about your feelings?”. He says and I QUOTE “Oh! Oh, yeah that.Man, that was so long ago. Um…”  and starts to scratch his head. Then he excuses what he said at the cabin, saying it was “in the heat of the moment stuff and we were arguing… I don’t actually remember. What did I say exactly?”  

Now either he legitimately forgot! Or he lied! You know the thing that broke them up in the first place! The one thing that El holds as her most important value in life- honesty. And he lied- about something as important as his romantic feelings?!  Make up any excuse (about being shy/character flaws all you want), but this isn’t real life- it’s fiction (everything is done for a narrative purpose). That wasn’t an accident ( mileven wasn’t “written out of character”- like milevens claim,  the duffers were criticizing the ship on purpose) .And the fact he lied again! Wouldn’t bode well for a long term relation with each other. The whole season, criticized their romantic relationship ! That wasn’t a coincidence neither was the fact he looked confused by her confession, and kept his eyes open the whole time and didn’t kiss her back . 

And as she smiled and walked away, he looked confused. That wasn’t a directing mistake, like so many milevens are claiming! You really think they wouldn’t make sure their ‘fav ship’ didn’t have a good final kiss? 

 Especially since it was right after a romantic Jancy scene (which was directed amazingly)- where Nancy even mentions Mileven- to make us compare the 2 pairings romantic scenes even more. 

* I know I sound like an assh*le but I’m just annoyed. I’ve always censored my byler posts trying not to offend/criticize mileven. I never cross tagged my byler meta with the hashtag mileven (never will, cause it’s rude). But (without sounding pompous) my byler posts generally gets reblogged a lot- and now the milevens have seen my posts (and are sending lots of hate my way) and worst of all they’ve invaded the byler tag. Today I saw 2 posts in the byler tag saying. “We’re delusional” and “stupid”- and also in the same posts they say they “feel attacked” by us.Um… there’s a difference between byler shippers privately criticizing a ship without bothering mileven shippers (and only tagging it byler) . Versus Mileven shippers  tagging things byler (and ranting about the ship and it’s shippers). Loved the comment about how Mike can’t be bi cause “he loves El too much”.I think Mike is probably gay and in denial. But, um that’s not how being bi works- didn’t know  bi people love women and men ½ as much as the gays/straights. Thanks for informing me (rolls eyes for eternity).So kid-gloves off, nothing left to lose! Time to compare the ships.

‘The breakup’ vs ‘fight’ parallel

comedic vs dramatic! The casual sunny day vs the dramatic framing of the storm (a romantic trope) . The ‘break-up’ being a scene with multiple onlookers vs the fight being with Will and Mike only (making it more personal/intimate).  ‘Cold as ice’ playing after the mileven breakup vs the sad instrumentals playing during the byler fight. The comedic after-math at the mall. El and Max laughing, and another joke being made as the bus leaves.El’s happiness vs Will’s heartbreak.

Mike’s drastically different expressions after their fights. He looks regretful with Will, and almost annoyed with El dumping him.  The fact Mike apologized right away more than once to Will, and ran into a storm to apologize a 2nd time. But with El he just lies to cover up the first lie, and then after the break-up he just complains/lounges on the couch (not taking any responsibility). He literally says about El “Why is she treating me this way? What did I do to deserve this? What did I do wrong?”.( He lied and made her feel “like garbage”!) Then he burps and laughs about chips- and makes sexist comments. Neither EL nor Mike are heartbroken by the breakup.

But when he angers Will (by him trying to finish the game early), he immediately tries to de-escalate saying softly “I was just joking- c’mon, let’s finish the game”. But when Will just yells back (much to Mike’s confusion) he doesn’t dismiss his feelings as irrational (like he wrongfully did to El) but chases him to the garage-  and begs him to stay since it’s raining.

In the garage, Mike immediately apologizes saying “I said I was sorry, alright. It was a cool campaign.” But after this, they fight and Mike runs into a storm to apologize a second time , and says to Will’s door “ WILL! I’m sorry I was being an asshole. Can you just come outside and we’ll talk? WILL!” He immediately takes responsibility and apologizes. And he’s desperate to resolve things. And when they find him outside castle Byers he just asks  (Mike’s catchphrase) “Will, Are you ok?”

Shed scene ( “best thing I’ve ever done” vs “the most important thing in the world to me”) parallel

When Mike says to El  “you’re most important thing to me” in the pool shed. El doesn’t even acknowledge the comment (and neither should the audience- cause the words were empty). She completely ignores his words, and responds by asking him about his previous comments. Asking whether Hopper was right about them spending too much time together.

I didn’t edit (or delete any scene after his proclamation) this is how fast it was delivered ! The framing of this mileven scene was not cinematic or heartfelt, and neither was the delivery from Mike. He’s not crying, trying to reach her with proclamations of his genuine feelings. There’s no dramatic music, framing, lighting or shot composition. And El just responds and cuts his supposed ‘true feelings’ off- only to agree with Hopper and says “ she should spend time with her own species.” And if this ‘romantic moment’ wasn’t already undermined enough. This is when Mike realizes she was spying on him , and feels wrongfully violated (something she doesn’t apologize for,  saying “I make my own rules” . He even brings this up in a later episode (this clearly bothered him)!

Juxtaposed to the MUCH longer byler scene. A literal single tear falling down his cheek as Mike , recounts the first day they met. Mike being in the back drop of darkness only his face being illuminated (having him appear like a guiding light to Will). Saying “ I felt so alone and  so scared… but you were alone too” (alone together/crazy together) .  He then talks about asking Will to be his friend, and then he pauses and breaks eye contact , before looking him in the eye and smiling (lost in the memory) saying softly “you said yes, you said yes.” (cough like saying yes at a wedding).

So, after he says “you said yes, you said yes.” It’s important to mention that he takes a deep breath and breaks eye contact again, (looking down and to the side) as he says this line. Subconsciously, I believe he knows this line is romantic and he’s too afraid to say it to his face. Only flicking his eyes up to look at Will  after he finishes the entire sentence, and to gauge Will’s reaction.

This whole monologue is only of tight shots of just their faces (their bodies aren’t shown like in the pool shed scene). This is a personal moment between them and them alone- and the fact we zoom in on their faces (expresses this to be important emotionally) . And when we see Will’s reaction to Mike saying “it was the best thing I’ve ever done”. We just see Will’s face only- no music is playing and all we hear is  Will’s whimpers and Mike crying in the background.

“ Blank makes you Crazy” vs “ Crazy Together parallel

When Mike tries to confess his “love” to El he says “Well they do say it makes you crazy”… much to El’s confusion.He has to try to explain it a second time to El- who just gets even more confused, by his ‘confession’. Saying “you never heard that expression? Like blank makes you crazy … like the word (love)?”

But when Mike says he “feels like he’s going crazy” Will immediately responds with “Me too”. Mike even smiles at the comment. So that moment in s2 means more than we think, when Mike (with tears in his eyes) smiles at Will’s comment and asks them to go “crazy together”.And when Will responds back “yeah, crazy together” (who also has tears in his eyes). They even linger on the moment as they just smile and stare at each other.

Mike is in denial, and may not even realize he loves Will, but he knows subconsciously that he does. He heard the phrase “love makes you crazy and that damn stupid”, 100′s of times and that’s why he said that phrase to Will. And why it made him so happy when Will reciprocated , by saying “ yeah. crazy together.” In addition to why we see them both go from happy, to immediately upset over the conversation.The scene was already romantically coded in s2 (but the scene in s3 re-contextualizes the whole thing) . Mike thinks “love makes you crazy” , and he asked Will to go ‘crazy together’ with him. And When Will is at castle byers looking at the Halloween pic of the 2 the day Mike said that, Will cries and calls himself “stupid” (4x). Can’t get more obvious… Like look what the duffers did! 

El and Will’s opinions on Mike (Parallels)

-When asked if Mike was a good kisser,  she just said “I don’t know he’s my 1st boyfriend.” (implying she’s thinking, at least subconsciously, of having other boyfriends ,who are not Mike in the future).  But when Mike pretty much asks’ if Will thought they’d never get girlfriends, and spend the rest of their lives with each other’.Will just sadly responds “yeah, I guess I did. I really did!” Unlike, El, Will always saw Mike as his future, his forever.

-And when Mike says “it’s just a break” , Max says “No it’s not!”, and we see El laugh along with Max’s comment. She is not heartbroken at the idea of never getting back together with him, romantically. Right after they break up she was laughing, reading comics, and playing games with Max.

But Will is devastated over the fight! And out of all the memories in Castle Byers it’s the Ghostbusters photo from Halloween that causes Will to pick up the bat and start destroying everything. That was the night that Mike agreed to go “crazy together” with him. He tears it in ½ right in the center where Mike and Will are. He was so stupid to think it meant anything. The “crazy together” scene, that Mike initiated in s2 was always meant to be romantic. Not only because of Will’s reaction to the photo in s3, but because Mike in s3 says “They do say it makes you crazy…blank makes you crazy.”  Which is exactly what happens to Will, as he has his breakdown.Castle byers was built on a rainy night , the same day Will’s dad left, when Will was 5 (the same age he met Mike). And lonnie called him a “queer” and a “f*g” and forced him to do “normal things” like baseball to have him “be more of a man”. And then on a rainy night, after Mike says “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls”… what does Will destroy castle byers with? A baseball bat! The fact Will has a baseball bat (despite in s1 saying he does not like baseball) in Castle Byers, surrounded by things he loves: drawings, d&d, art supplies, a microscope, comics- just shows what an impact Lonnie’s problematic conditioning and abandonment had on him. He used a baseball bat to destroy something he loves -castle Byers, and symbolically he was trying to reject his feelings for Mike using Lonnie’s old tactics of fixing him.

- Also, El doesn’t even seem to appreciate when Mike acts like his true self (goofy/like a kid). She laughs when Max complains he talks too much. Rolls his at his jokes with the cpr-dummy, covers his mouth and tells him to stop when he tries to joke and sing, ignores him when he gets excited about talking about dinosaurs. Which relates to my next point

The only characters who’s character bios focus on ‘escaping’ through d&d is Mike and Will.

Will in the Montauk pitch was described as having “sexual identity issues… LIKE MIKE , Will ESCAPES through fantasy gaming where he can be himself, uninhibited.” Like what is Mike escaping from… being a nerd? Because they could of said ‘like his friends’. And no it’s not because they’re best friends- they even specifIed in Lucas bio he’s “ Mike’s best friend” (which was even mentioned in s1).

.In Mike’s character description it says “ bullying and near-crippling insecurity. He has never had a first kiss, much less a girlfriend.He ESCAPES his insecurities through reading fantasy novels … retreating into his own vivid imagination. The Dungeon Master of his Dungeons and Dragons group, he writes sprawling adventures with fantastical monsters.When he finds himself on a real adventure, facing real monsters, he will discover a courage he didn’t know he had. By the end, he will even kiss a girl.”

*Interesting that Mike uses D&D  to escape his insecurities about not having a gf (retreating into his imagination). While Will (who is somewhat aware of his sexuality) uses d&d to escape and be himself uninhibited. They’re foils in a sense- using d&d for opposing reasons.

So the s3 fight about d&d games has a lot more meaning 

Mike equates heterosexual romance with ‘growing up’ and his feeling for Will as something childish he has to grow out of.When they fight over d&d. Mike says “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls!”, then he tries to ½ apologize only to say, “I’m not trying to be a jerk. Ok? But We’re not kids anymore.” He pretty much explains, this is just the way things are-boys fall in love with girls, get girlfriends, and that’s just a part of growing up (heteronormativity).  And tells Will “I mean, what did you think, really? That we were never gonna get girlfriends? We were just gonna sit in my basement all day and play games for the rest of our lives?” And poor Will who is probably more aware of his feelings just responds. “Yeah. I guess I did. I really did.” And after this Mike rushes to Will’s house and apologizes saying he was an “asshole.”When he tries to say he loves El . It was very forced. He can’t even use the world love or explain his feelings, “A feeling … yeah, like, something… like OLD PEOPLE say it sometimes”.

He can’t even describe love and what his “feelings” entail for El , he then says  “Yeah, like something , like old people say it some times. He doesn’t even say it back in the last ep, when she confesses. It’s all talk, but no feeling, it’s just a part of becoming an adult in Mike’s mind.

In the last ep before the mileven kiss, he even invites both El and Will over for Christmas saying “ And Will too… we could all have new presents to play with and… *scoffs* Sorry, that made me sound like a 7 year old...  ”

And it’s implied in the last ep (before the mileven kiss),  because of the 3 month breakup Mike is back to liking d &d. When Mike sees Will put his own d&d book in the donation box he stops him.

Mike: “WHOA, dude that’s the donation box.”

Will: “ I know, I’ll just use yours,  when I come back. (pause) if WE still want to play?”

So then Mike asks, shyly …

Mike : “Yeah, but what if you want to join another party?” (cough- girls , the other ‘species’, or just someone else: girl, guy or otherwise)

Will: “Not possible.” (Will will always love Mike- insert Mikes immediate heart-eye reaction to this comment).

I think people don’t notice what the subtext is here- regardless of his intentions, Mike broke Will’s heart. He made him feel “stupid” for ever thinking he ever had a chance with Mike. He always saw Mike as his forever, but Mike shot any hopes of that down in the garage. Will doesn’t trust his own instincts. Mike could straight up flirt with him in s4/5- and Will would dismiss it as his imagination. He essentially said ‘he’ll always love Mike- but if something is going to happen. It’s up to Mike to initiate it’.

Mike was queer coded since ep 1 (and he’s more queer coded than Will)!

 I LITERALLY thought (in s1) Mike was queer before Will!

- 3 rainbow references. Mike in s1 in his basement has a red heart being propelled by a rainbow sign. We see this again in s3 as a drawing. Mike also stands next to Will behind a rainbow apple poster in s2. Forbidden fruit + rainbow = queer forbidden romance. Also the apple poster was in the AV Club and at that time the rainbow apple-mac sign was suspected to be in reference to for Alan Turning (the gay ‘father of computers’).

In s1:

- 4 separate characters said El looked like a boy, but Mike doesn’t care! Even one of the men thought El might be the missing ‘Byers boy’. When El loses her wig , Troy said “she doesn’t even look like a girl” to the cops. But Mike just calls her “really pretty”

-Nancy says “I thought you were acting weird, but I thought it was because of Will” And Mike responds “I thought you were acting weird too I thought it was because of Steve … Do you like Jonathan now”?” Nancy: “No, do you like Eleven?”. They literally compared the explicit love triangle between Steve/Nancy/Jonathan to the Will-Mike-El dynamic!

- Mike literally uses gender inclusive pronouns when talking about crushes using the word “someone” (3 times), and embarrassing himself because he can’t articulate the difference between friendship and romance. When he could of simply given the 80s heteronormative  answer of ‘when a boy likes a girl’.

Mike: “ you go to school dances with someone.

You know someone that you like”

El: “a friend?”

Mike: ‘not a friend uh … uh someone like a” (gives up and kisses her)

-Mike’s mom said “ What’s been going on with Will, I can’t imagine what it’s been like for you. I just … want you to feel like you can talk to me. I never want you to feel like you have to HIDE anything from me” (she even emphasizes the word ‘hide”  (which is heavily queer coded)

- when Will ‘dies’, “we can be heroes” by David bowie (a bisexual singer) plays,   “And we kiss as though nothing could fall and the shame” is the lyric that plays when Mike returns to his house and cries in his mother’s arms over the ‘death’ of Will. Do I have to explain how ‘kissing and shame’ are queer-coded . And how such a lyric is oddly romantic- if we’re supposed to see their bond as nothing but platonic XD

-his dad jokes “Absolutely not” *turns to wife* “our son with a girl?”.

- when Lucas makes fun of his crush on EL, Lucas gets down on one knee  and says “ I love you so much, will you marry me?” and literally 1s later, we’re introduced to the bullies and the idea (for the first time) that Will is ‘gay’, and Mike is in the forefront of the scene and unlike his friends he is THE ONLY ONE physically assaulted as they cause him to fall face first into a rock (like a gay-bashing) .  They leave Lucas and Dustin unharmed. Even though Lucas just proposed to another guy- which should have gotten him a beating by the homophobic bullies.

It’s supposed to subconsciously hint Mike is queer like Will, and likes Will. The first interaction with the bullies, they mention Will being ‘gay’ right after they mention Mike’s crush on androgynous El and have a guy propose to Mike. Mike says to “ignore them” ( the homophobic remarks) but is assaulted anyways. And when asked what happed he doesn’t want to tell El the details cause he’s ashamed .

2nd time the bullies talk about Will, Mike is once again in the forefront, unlike his straight friends who are in the background . But this time Mike initiates the confrontation), as the bullies say Will is “flying in fairyland with all the other little fairies. All happy and gay”. Mike was literally on the verge or tears at this comment (despite being happy a few moments earlier , telling the others to ‘act sad’ because they’d look suspicious other wise). But this is the comment where Mike snaps and pushes Troy back (because he took it personally/wanted to defend Will).

The framing of Mike once again being in the front and snapping at the homophobic remarks ( gifs don’t do it justice, just rewatch the scene -Mike eyes water at the remarks). Then the last time the bullies appear , Mike jumps off the cliff and “flies like a fairy” (like Troy said) thanks to El . Troy at the police station even uses the word “fly” not levitate.

-Mike sneaking out to find Will, as Steve sneaks in to Nancy’s. They both even make eye contact (and pretend not to have seen each other).

- they share dinosaur toys , in s1 and 2 they appear to be the only ones with dinosaur toys.

- The s1 mom hug scene where Mike feels he lost Will is paralleled in s3 - signifying how he lost him a 2nd time.

- Mike in the 1st ep being the one to insist on looking for Will in the rain (callback to s3). But he never went looking for El when he saw her through his window? Even when Mike saw Will’s dead body, the second he heard his voice he convinced his friends to help rescue him!

- You remember the binder (from s1) that Mike keeps, filled with 100s of Will’s drawings, and how he caresses the drawing after thinking Will was dead. That’s totes platonic.

- Mike in s1 proclaiming “I’m the only one who cares about Will!” Seems like something a kid with a crush might say ( because obviously his other friends care about Will). But he thinks he cares the most. He was even the first to worry about Will not showing up to school, the first to suggest looking for him while speaking to Hopper, and when Hopper and his parents say ‘no’ he sneaks out anyway (and is the first to suggest forming a search party). The first to believe he was alive after seeing his dead body.The only boy to have a scene dedicated solely to him mourning Will.  Mike being the only boy to stay awake at the hospital, and the first boy to see and hug Will. The only one to have a private one on one talk before Will goes missing. The only one who was literally given 100s of Will’s drawings. And yet Dustin says Lucas’ is Mike’s best friend? So what does that make Mike and Will?

In s2:

- Will in all 3 seasons identifies as a wizard. But in s2 Mike (the paladin) says Will is a cleric. Meaning this reflects how Mike actually feels about Will. In d&d, they have similar moral values, powers, and generally need and depend on each other in the lore of d&d. Paladins have similar healing powers to clerics, but clerics have stronger healing abilities - which is interesting since Mike has always been viewed as the protector. But to Mike Will has helped him (maybe deal with the loss of El and other trauma) , just by being there. And if Mike says Will is a cleric,despite Will still identifying as a wizard in s3, it shows how deeply Mike actually feels about Will. It shows he views Will as one of the only people who understands him and views him as a healing presence and his moral compass.

“ strength of conviction gave many paladins a sense of common fellowship but did not always endear them to others. In many cases, paladins did not get along quite as well with other non-paladin adventurers, with the exception of clerics with similar beliefs.”

“A Paladin tries to hold to the highest standards of conduct, but even the most virtuous Paladin is fallible. Sometimes the heat of emotion causes a Paladin to transgress his or her oath (of honesty, courage, compassion, honor ,and duty). A paladin who has broken a vow typically seeks absolution from a cleric who shares his or her faith or from another paladin of the same order. After a rite of confession and forgiveness, the paladin starts fresh.”

This proves Mike knows he treats Will special/different than his other friends- and unlike a relationship with El (they are still individuals who are not dependent on each other). And Mike thinks being with Will quite literally makes him a better person. Juxtaposed with how him being in a romantic relationship with El made him blind and apathetic to those closest to him .

- All the mileven s1 parallels vs byler s2 parallels were ALL initiated by Mike. If the parallels were meant to show a one sided love triangle (on Mike’s end). They would of made Will the instigator not Mike! Parallels can be watched here , start at 6:50)

-Mike initiated the “crazy together’ line- and in s3 he said ‘blank makes you crazy’. So subconsciously he knew the line had romantic connotations.

-Mike initiating the hand hold (with a zoom in shot) and in the show this is only done for romantic pairings. Also Mike being the one to initiate the ‘arm thing’ which is generally romantic. But in s3 , Lucas also does this, saying “I am spending quality time with my girlfriend’

-Mike saying, asking him to be his friend was the “best thing I’ve ever done”

-Mike constantly following Will around, asking if he’s okay or biking to his house to check on him in s2 . In s3 running out to chase Will to the garage and apologizing, and running into a storm to apologize a 2nd time.

YOU SEE A PATTERN! Mike is whipped! And is the one constantly chasing and pursuing Will, not the other way around! Before s3, people always portrayed Will as the (stereotypical- problematic trope of a) sad-pinning-gay in a one sided love with Mike. It’s like people didn’t even watch the show (and just assigned tropes/stereotypes they wanted, that weren’t actually there). Will (probably too shy or scared to- because of homophobic taunts) never initiated a single byler moment- it was ALWAYS Mike!!! If people were actually objective, they would of thought it was Mike who was the one pinning!

- Which brings me to Mike literally pinning! Mike forcing Will to dance with a girl (who has a rainbow hairclip), but you literally see Mike’s shocked expression like  ‘what,why’d I do that ?’ And after this, they show Dustin looking sad about Max/Lucas dancing and then they have Mike get into the frame (next to Dustin) and look sad when Will/girl are dancing in the same exact frame as Max/Lucas. As they switch between these last 2 shots.

the cannon Spotify playlists-called ‘Mike’s basement beats’- These are character playlists that Spotify and St worked on together after s2.

-his first song is “small town boy” an 80s LGBT anthem about living in a small town and being queer and bullied. Every band member was openly gay.

-his 11th song is ‘don’t you want me’ from a “celebrate your gay pride” album

* But queer people are “delusional” for thinking Mike isn’t straight? And are told to “open your eyes and watch the show” (that was an actual quote in the byler tag). Ok? Take your own advice, then! XD

One of the Duffers cited inspirations for ST is SUPER GAY (and what they based the byler dynamic off of).

In the Will comic, Will throws an old 1970s book called “house of stairs” at the demorgorgan. And in a later chapter Mike and Will just read together at the library (just silently reading together, enjoying each others’ company-totally not a romantic cliche).And Mike warns Will the book ‘could have spoilers’ for the d&d campaign. Also look at this byler-centric cover :)

  Peter (Will) is shy, quiet ,initially a pushover, and gay-coded.  And as a coping mechanism he has psychological-breaks with reality where he thinks of his best friend from the orphanage, Jasper (Mike) . Another kidnapped boy, named Oliver (who looks just like Jasper/Mike) is also queer-coded (but a violent-sociopath). And, unlike Jasper who actually wanted to protect/take care of Peter -Oliver starts to gets a sick thrill out of making Peter dependent on him (which Peter catches on to pretty quickly). Oliver was insistent on being the only one to ‘wake’ Peter from his episodes (just like how Mike did for Will, in s2), except Oliver calls him pet-names like “sweetheart, baby, etc.” 

And again to prove it’s queer-coded I’ll read some of the (shortened) quotes, in the order they were written. These are quotes from Peter (Will’s) pov talking about his childhood best-friend Jasper (Mike) .  

-“his room. His and jaspers room.  Jasper looking up from his desk, smiling glad to see him. Jasper saying . Something very important. The most important message, the secret message.  He couldn’t hear him . But jasper keeps smiling , keeps talking . What was the message, jasper? What was the message? The dream had been beautiful at the beginning, terrible at the end, but he longed  to be in it again. If only he hadn’t awakened.”  

-“Jasper sitting on the bed and taking off his shoes ,smiling, ‘you’re okay pete, you’re better than a hundered of those slobs put together. Tomorrow I’ll tell them so myself‘ jasper’s strong, hard body as he got into bed ,so different from peter’s. Strong, to protect him to take care of him. Jasper, who always took care of him”.

-“He wanted to think about oliver it  it was like having Jasper back again. It would disturb him to see Oliver go off with Abigail… the rejection quite painful. It had never been like that with Jasper…jasper.

-The room they shared with rainbow colors, murmuring comforting words to him , enclosing and protecting him. He let himself drift into it, the rainbow hues dimness.”

-“No one ever depended on him. It was he who always depended on others, on Jasper. jasper, who had always taken care of him. Jasper…”

later he admits his feelings for Jasper to Lola/el. Lola and Pete are plantonic soulmates. The only reason why they survive and don’t succumb to their dark and violent urges/psychological brainwashing is because of each other. Lola has  brown hair and eyes and has a buzzcut and is heavily implied to be a lesbian (as she is the only girl in the group who is not fooled by Oliver’s ‘nice guy act’. Which makes the other girls ‘suspicious’ and alienate her). Also this was written in the 70s… she has a buzzcut and is said to “look like a boy”. It’s not that subtle! There was a reason that the author whose first name was WILLIAM (was suspected to be gay/bi when he was alive)!  XD

-Peter says “ he was my friend we were always together . Jasper his name was jasper .in the dream he’s taking care of me’. Now he was beginning to cry, his throat constricting and tears welling up in his eyes .’taking care of me … he always took care of me… taking care of me, and , and … and loving me’. ‘”It was the best time in your life’ she murmured’. ‘Yes’ “

* cough protective childhood friend, rainbows, ‘best time of your life = best thing I ever did.

S3 ending (byler centric ending)

When we first see Mike during the Hopper mologue, the moving truck leaves. “Like you’re pulling away from me or something. I miss playing board games every night (d &d)”…  (the last thing they talked about was Will visiting to play d&d and their fight this season started because of a disagreement about d&d.)

Then Mike looks back at the Byers house (just lingers there and looks back as his friends leave) like how Will did seeing Mike hold hands with El and leave .  “But I know you’re getting older, growing, changing. I guess, if I’m being really honest, that’s what scares me. I don’t want things to change.”Mike , like Will “doesn’t want things things to change”. He doesn’t want his  his feelings of friendship to become romantic in regards to Will,  it “scares” him (especially in rural 80s Indiana). Right after Will cries,  it immediately switches to Mike hugging his mom- to mirror the time he thought Will died in s1 “So I think maybe that’s why I came in here, to try and maybe stop that change. To turn back the clock. To make things go back to how they were.” He goes back to his mother for comfort, like he did the 1st time he lost Will. But also to reverse back time, to s1, before he realized his feelings for Will were romantic.  When things were simpler. 

“But I know that’s naive. It’s just not how life works. It’s moving, always moving, whether you like it or not. And yeah, sometimes it’s painful. Sometimes it’s sad. And sometimes, it’s surprising. Happy.” (byler endgame)

Will (in s2) even says everyone treats him like ‘freak/ that something is wrong with him’ (purposely leaving out Mike from the discussion). And then when Will disparages himself as a freak,and Jonathan agrees but asks Will, ‘who would he rather be friends with-  David Bowie (who was openly bi since the 70s) or Kenny Rogers’? And when Will says Bowie, Jonathan agrees saying “see, it’s no contest”.

So,  it’s just another coincidence that when Will ‘dies’ (in s1) a David Bowie song (‘we can be heroes’) plays. And as Mike hugs his mom, mourning Will -  a romantic lyric from the song plays during the hug?“And we kiss, as though nothing could fall. And the shame”  (which is heavily queer coded)?

And then in the last ep (in s3) Mike mirrors this scene in s1, hugging his mom, since he feels like he’s losing Will all over again. And right after the hug (‘we can be heroes’) plays again!?  I’m not saying byler is endgame. But- WAIT THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I’M SAYING! XD

These men literally invented ‘hetero-baiting’ (with Robin & Steve) and you think they’re going to queer bait?!

Also, if Will was a girl named ‘Willow” no one would call byler ‘delusional�� ! Even the most casual viewer would say it’s obvious they’d end up together in the end!

If the witness said about El in s1 , “ same height… it could be the Byers girl”, instead of ‘boy’ (pointing out the resemblance).  Mike only meeting El cause he was looking for Willow. Proclaiming “i’m the only one who cares about Willow!” . Mike getting into fights and getting upset (almost crying) about the bullies insulting Willow. Mike only getting angry at El when he thinks she lied about Willow being alive. Mike being the only boy who has a scene dedicated to his loss of her (with the same romantic lyrics playing). Mike having a whole binder of her drawings and caressing one of the drawings, after he thinks she died.  Mike being the only one of her friends to stay awake at the hospital, waiting for her to wake up- so he can see her and hug her first. People probably would of started shipping it the second Willow stared at him and was the only one who didn’t lie to him, in the first ep! Another parallel to El!

If Will was Willow, the majority of the fandom would be byler shippers. Think about it! . Mike having s2 byler scenes that are identical to s1 mileven scenes, and then additional unique byler scenes. Mike staying by Willow’s side 24 hours a day for several days (not even changing clothes), carrying her out of the hospital, grabbing her hand (with a zoom in shot),constantly asking her if she’s okay at least 5-7 times, putting his arm around her twice, being the only one who could tell something was off with her (and it wasn’t her normal type of quiet). Calling and running all the way to her house and banging on the door to check on her, desperate. Watching her sleep cause he’s so worried. That shed scene reminiscing about how they first met in perfect detail, saying “I asked, I asked if you wanted to be my friend. You said yes, you said yes. It was the best thing I’ve ever done. (like a marriage proposal)”  The “crazy together” scene. Them being close since they were 5 vs the girl he knew for a week (but is somehow in love with?). In s2 if Mike sadly watched Willow dance with another guy , while Dustin does the same to Max. Forget it- everyone would already know mileven would be doomed to fail.

And again think about s3 if Will was a girl.They parallel the (comedic) mileven breakup vs (the sad/serious) byler breakup. Then Mike just complains and burps on the couch vs apologizing to Willlow multiple times/even going into a storm to apologize a 2nd time (and to ‘talk’). Willow having a breakdown over the fight vs El laughing and high five-ing Max after.The shed vs the pool shed scene- “best thing I’ve ever done” vs “you’re the most important thing in the world to me”, “blank makes you crazy’ (as El stares confused) vs “crazy together’ (where Willow says ‘yeah, crazy together’). Mike going on ‘movie dates with Willlow all the time’ right after making out with El. The last mileven kiss where Mike has his eyes open the whole time,  and doesn’t kiss back. And saying he doesn’t remember saying  “I love” you to El (and doesn’t say ‘I love you’ back). Right after having a talk with Willow about playing games when she comes back (the crux of their fight). Mike getting excited that he’ll be able to visit El and Willow on Thanksgiving and them visiting him on Christmas (those are holidays where family usually introduces their S.O.) Having the last scene of Mike,  be him looking back at Willow’s house, and have that whole monologue about “feelings changing”, and then he goes to hug his mom like the s1 byler scene where he thought Willow was dead, signifying he lost her again. And that’s not even all the scenes- and every time byler won by a landslide. If Will was a girl, we wouldn’t be ‘delusional’! It would be obvious writing on the wall, that Mike would eventually choose Willow over El by the end of the series.

But since they are 2 boys, we’re delusional, because queer kids don’t exist … apparently.

*S3-I’m not repeating my literal essays but they’re probably better than this post so here are the links to pretty much all my s3 byler meta.  (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

gif credit: 1st few have the name stark in the gifs, 2nd byler gif (found on wheheart.com- user dream_daisy, not sure if they also have a Tumblr , 3rd livelovecaliforniadreams, 4th &10th Cath-avery, 5& 6th unknown, 7-9 eggogorgon . Tell me if you know the unknown one so I can give credit , please.

[dancedelion]

Lover’s Lament

Genre: fluff Word Count: 2575 Summary: "What's it like to be in love?" "Don't." *** Jaskier and Geralt attend a wedding. ao3: Lover’s Lament Jaskier writes lover's laments - A long time ago, Jaskier wondered, is it an analytic truth that one must love to love? Is a feeling of reverence implied in soft touches, in shining eyes? Is happiness integral to a kiss?

And now he weeps into his pillow.

And now he feels his heart ache like a sore spot in his body.

Oh, how he loves to love. (How he loves picking himself up and piecing himself back together like patchwork never in the right order never how it was before never whole) (And never is like a string around his neck pulling tight, he is held up by rope of almosts.) Sweetheart, only masochists love love. What a brave fool you must be to walk onto a battlefield with no weapons and no shield.

But who needs weapons when you have a witcher in front of you by your side at your back -

(And there is nothing that could make you think he is your enemy, not even feeling the blade of his sword against your neck, not even when it stars to pierce your skin, if only slightly – even then, don't I still love your breath in my neck?)

Sometimes it hurts, but Jaskier can't stop writing a lament, when Geralt is with him and when he is not, this is his routine, what he knows -

Love hurts.

***

Everything is going according to routine - Geralt is fighting a monster, then killing a monster, then he returns to the tavern, goes upstairs to change out of his armor - until Jaskier bursts into the room and blurts: “A wedding!”

“What?” “We've been invited to a wedding!” Jaskier waves his hands around in a flourish. “You mean, you've been invited to a wedding.” “Nope! Both of us.” Geralt contemplates this for a moment. Jaskier bringing everything out of order and mixing everything up is according to routine. “Why would anyone invite me to their wedding? I'm a witcher.” “And what a witcher! Impressive swords, impressive... muscles. Who wouldn't be blown away?”

Geralt mutely shakes his head.

“Okay, I'll admit,” Jaskier amends, “from a certain point of view, that might seem a tiny bit threatening.”

“So what endeared them to me? The friendly smile?”

“The fact that you saved their village and now they don't have to live in constant panic and fear anymore! The wedding can finally happen! In a way, you've birthed this wedding. As the father, it's your responsibility, no, your duty even, to attend.”

“Hm,” Geralt says. “Sure it's not just your incessant guilt tripping that's forcing me to attend?”

“I'd like to think it was my irresistible charm,” Jaskier flashes a smile. “Or because I annoyed you into it. That is a skill, I'll have you know. One I intend to perfect!”

“Believe me, you're already pretty good at it.”

“Oh, Geralt, stop, you'll make me blush.”

Geralt smirks and watches as Jaskier wanders the room.

“What a feat.”

“Hey! I do not blush easy.”

Overcome by a strange feeling, Geralt has to avert his eyes.

“So who's the happy couple?” Geralt busies himself with putting away his swords and folding the armor.

“Farmer's son and smith's daughter. It's properly romantic. We can not miss out on this! I can smell love in the air!”

Geralt turns his head. It's strangely hard to keep the smile in. “I'm pretty sure that's your perfume.”

“Fine, be grumpy, work it off. You've already agreed to this.” “I have?” “Come on, Geralt. Don't even pretend you can say no to me.”

Geralt shakes his head in amusement. (He doesn't say no.)

*** “I look ridiculous.” “You look dashing.”

“I look like a peacock.” “You look like a dashing peacock, witcher, pay attention.” Jaskier has gotten him a doublet – Melitele knows from where – and Geralt is sure it must be at least one size too small.

“I wear black,” Geralt tries to argue.

“Not today you're not. This is a wedding, not a funeral. Can't go around spreading gloom and bringing everyone down.”

“If they don't want that, then they shouldn't invite a witcher to their celebration.”

“That's not fair, they only got one quick look at you and you looked like exceptional, truly excellent company when you walked in from the hunt covered in blood.”

“Oh, when you put it like that.” Geralt rolls his eyes, worried the effect might be slightly undermined by the outfit. It looks like the outfit of someone who doesn't mind having eyes on him, someone who values looks over practicality, someone delicate and pretty – someone like Jaskier.

“Stop this,” Jaskier says and gestures in Geralt's direction. “Stop what?” “Your general grumpiness and pessimism. Think of it as going undercover. Here's your new role: You're going to pretend to be a normal person.”

“Hm. Like a human.”

“Exactly! It'll be fun.”

Geralt scrutinizes himself in the mirror, tries to think away the white hair and the yellow eyes. It doesn't quite work. Normal human, not so much, but maybe he could pretend to be a strange human.

*** They're in the back of the church. Geralt is on a mission. He has already calculated seven different escape routes.

“Stop glowering,” Jaskier whispers over to him. “I don't glower,” Geralt answers, “I just... observe.”

“You observe gloomily. You're unsettling the flower children.”

There's a boy three rows in front of them staring at them. Geralt tries to smooth out his expression a little. What would human Geralt do?

“Oh, that's a wonderful flower arrangement. Look at her, that dress is so beautiful.” Jaskier continues gushing compliments about the decorations. Geralt follows after Jaskier's descriptions with his eyes. It's simple, they can't afford much, but suddenly Geralt finds himself admiring the carnations tied to the benches. Nearly the whole village is assembled, chattering among themselves and laughing. The children are playing tag along the corridor. It's their faces though – creases in the corners of their eyes, like a whole face pulled apart by a smile.

Geralt is too big here, the seat is too small, the doublet is too small, he just doesn't fit -

There is no use in pretending he is human, he is not human, he could never exist in a space like this, he ruins moments like this. A wedding. What was he thinking? Listening to Jaskier, with the bad ideas that always get them in trouble? Inevitably some monster is going to burst in, or a brawl is going to break out, and somehow, how ever, it will be Geralt's fault. Who invites a witcher to a wedding?

“Geralt?”

Only someone who's scared of something worse. Geralt's not stupid, people always have an agenda, he knows this. He won't let himself be fooled by Jaskier's endless optimism. Just because he has let a human too close doesn't mean he is one, never will be again.

“I should have brought a sword,” Geralt mumbles.

“A sword? At a wedding? Are you crazy? Why, you mean the second row on the left? That's not a water hag, that's the groom's great aunt.”

Geralt snorts, but quickly grows serious again. “I have a bad feeling about this.” “You have bad feelings about everything, it's called being a paranoid bastard,” Jaskier says jokingly, “come on, relax a little. Have fun!”

Geralt has been to some weddings before and those had always been noble families and political marriages. This is... different. Strange.

The church quiets down and the ceremony begins. Geralt holds himself completely still, which is stupid – like that will somehow turn him invisible. The groom is a young man, barely out of childhood. He looks lost in front of the priest, scared even. But his face lights up completely when the bride steps in, wearing a blue dress, the best the family could afford. Geralt is dumbstruck at the unbridled joy in his eyes.

(If he were human, would he fall in love?) When they speak their vows – words of love and gentle promises – the bride starts crying and then so does the groom. They stumble forward, like the happiness pulled them together, and kiss, so enthusiastic in it that it turns clumsy and they pull apart again with a laugh.

(Could he kiss someone like that?) A sniff next to him startles Geralt out of his stupor.

“Are you crying?” Geralt glances at Jaskier sideways, who tries to surreptitiously wipe at his eyes. “...no.” “Yes, you are.”

“Fine! Yes. I'm crying. It's a wedding, everyone cries at weddings.” “Look around. No one is crying except for you.” “They're crying!” Jaskier points at the couple.

Geralt watches them, talking with a few older people, maybe their parents, all the while holding hands. “They're in love.”

Jaskier looks away.

(Could Jaskier love him, if he were human?)

*** At the reception, everyone is giddy from relief to be rid of the monster that was terrorizing the village and giddy from the joy of the wedding. People are eating at the benches outside of the church and when it turns dark, they start a fire.

He can tell Jaskier is a little intoxicated by the way he leans into Geralt.

“Geraaalt,” Jaskier sings, “I love this song.” “Not gonna complain that they didn't ask you to play?” “Not today.” Jaskier smiles a little. “You know I don't ask you for much, right? So can you just – can we just -” “What?” “Dance with me?” He leans into Geralt more and he's so close, Geralt's head gets dizzy.

“You can barely stand.” “Shut up, I'm not that drunk.”

And there is something about that night that makes Geralt believe in things he knows to be impossible, because he doesn't put up a fight and instead holds out a hand to Jaskier, like a nonsensical offer. Jaskier grabs his hand immediately and Geralt catches him by the hip and he lets himself touch. They are on the outskirts of the celebration, a small distance away. Geralt leads Jaskier slowly and suddenly gets unreasonably worried that Jaskier will hear his heartbeat. (Jaskier probably can't even hear the crickets in the field, there is nothing to be worried about.)

But he can't get the couple out of his mind and that kiss and what if he were human, somewhere in another universe -

“Jaskier?” “Hm?” “What's it like to be in love?”

Jaskier steps away from him abruptly, with a harsh intake of breath.

“Don't.”

*** Jaskier feels faint, his eyes becoming unfocused, then focused and unfocused again. They don't talk about this. It's like a rule, or maybe a courtesy, or a secret, how ever unspoken truths can be secrets. (My hand home in your hand. My house in your house. My lips in your lips. My dreams the color of your eyes. My heart beating to your song.) Jaskier has never tried to hide this, couldn't if he wanted to because this feeling is too big to hold in and he's always known that Geralt knows but they don't talk about it, because it would be embarrassing, because it would hurt.

Jaskier sways back a little. We don't do this.

(Have you ever stood on the edge of a cliff and had a strange desire to throw yourself off of it? Have you ever seen a butterfly and wanted to catch it, keep it in your hands?)

Jaskier doesn't understand, because Geralt is never cruel, not like this, so he looks up and sees confusion in Geralt's eyes.

“Don't you know,” Jaskier chokes out.

(What is love? A heart beat going too quickly? Elated eyes? A rush of joy in the human body? If that's what you think, dear, you have no idea.) “Witchers don't -” “Don't start with that.” “I – I don't -” Geralt starts.

“I don't believe that.”

It's Geralt, after all. Never understanding feelings, but always having so many of them.

“Tell me.” “I can't.”

“What? Can't find the words?” Jaskier presses his lips together.

“Can't find the courage,” he admits quietly. (Imagine a storm raging through my mind and the storm is just you, you, you. Everywhere, just you. Imagine a room full of mirrors and not being able to see yourself in a single one of them.)

“So you have been in love?” Geralt asks.

“What kind of question is that?” “Right, right. You fall in love with everyone.”

“Don't tell me you don't know,” Jaskier says, astounded. “You idiot. You moron. You complete imbecile.” Maybe some truths need to be spoken. Maybe it was more of a secret than Jaskier thought. And he could keep it to himself if he wanted to. He could leave the painful conversation to never. But how could he do that to Geralt who doesn't believe in being loved? Exposing yourself to love, exposing love – like laying bare fear and dreams and hope – maybe pain is integral to love, in a good way, but also in the worst way -

“Do you even know how many times I've come back to you? Every spring?” “We meet out of coincidence -” “What, you think we met all these times by hazard and you still don't believe in destiny?” Typical Geralt, trying to find some ridiculous explanation in everything rather than accept simple truths.

“Things don't just happen just because you hope for them,” Geralt says somberly. Hope for them? Hope for Jaskier's return? And isn't that ridiculous, because Jaskier always returns.

“Look, Geralt, I don't know if it's because you're really not emotionally intelligent or because you don't want to see it, but I think it's pretty clear that I love you.” Geralt's mouth drops open. He stares at Jaskier wide-eyed. Jaskier watches him with his heart in his throat and Jaskier would lose his nerve if it weren't for Geralt taking a small step toward him.

“Let me show you -” he says. Maybe it's not just him, maybe it's a thing, like him and Geralt, a them thing -

He reaches for Geralt's palm and presses his lips to it. He gets a small sigh as an answer and it tells Jaskier all he needs to know. He whispers a lament against his skin. Then he takes Geralt's hand in his and presses both of them against his chest.

It feels like the future is bright, bright, bright, like maybe they can have this, maybe they can love each other like humans do.

(Love is, I'm here. When you need me and when you don't know that you need me and when you don't need me. Love is, I'm waiting for you to catch up at the end of the road. Even when I can see you in the distance walking in the opposite direction.)

They dance together under the stars and Jaskier leads them, like come here, come here, let me show you the way – and Geralt does, like I'll follow you wherever you go, like stepping into gentleness, so close, like we are sharing oxygen like we are sharing a life like a sweet light little melody that is nothing like a lament and everything like joy.

[threelivesthreeworlds]

anonymous asked   :    Hate that fanfiction/drama reviews misunderstand Yehua & Lian Song. Yehua is commonly portrayed as selfish/insensitive (regarding his past mistakes), which undermines his real personality. Western audiences also obsess over physicality, which bypasses the beauty/innocence of the romance. Sorry for ranting. I can relate to Lian Song, depression-wise.  (1/2)

Hey, same depressed anon here. Given that most other sites on this series follow those painful tropes, you guys are really a breath of fresh air in the fandom. I especially love(and am very relieved) how Lian Song is turning out completely different to people's assumptions about him. I know I can count on you to preserve my interpretation of the characters.  (2/2)

     (ADMIN RO)   :   We the admins have largely been unable to find a lot of fanfiction prominently featuring Yehua or Lian Song in general on our side of the fandom, but we’re sorry you’re having a bad experience with portrayals! 

     As a person who does occasionally take initiative to portray these characters in fan-derivative formats, however, I do think that Yehua has his insensitive and selfish sides. It’s the way he’s raised from a very young age, which manifests itself even so early as when in their childhood, Sujin used to come sit at his desk - he literally obliterates her out of his peripherals and just regards her existence like a brush rack. 

     That tunnel vision came from, most likely, Tianjun’s philosophy on raising future sovereigns, which is that to be the perfect sovereign Yehua’s supposed to be largely emotionless and weigh pros and cons and gains and losses over feelings. There’s also a lack of, presumably, a lot of social interaction that isn’t based on either academia or politics. Strategically, I think Yehua’s thought process, even applied to love and feelings, is very much “this is the best thing to do in this scenario, and therefore the right thing,” and I think only when the results come out badly is when he realizes it may not have been the right thing, and even then he may not understand necessarily where he went wrong.

     So, I think it’s reasonable in the aftermath of his mistakes for him to do badly. And at that point in time his primary goal was to hold on to Qian - given that he had already lost her once. So, understandably, a lot of it doesn’t come out until later. Now, is this still in fact, selfish? Yes. Is it for more complicated reasons than just Yehua is a Selfish Person and the Worst? Also yes. It’s really a balance, and I’m sorry that your reading material has not been hitting that balance.

     As for the topic of physicality - that is different between the couples of each book, I think. As a writer, one of the big rules I personally follow is that anything that goes into the final cut of the draft has to have meaning. It has to matter in some significant way, and the same goes for affectionate or sexual scenes. Now I don’t know how everyone else views it, but viewing it from this perspective, I think the physicality of the relationship, specifically for Yehua and Qian - it’s an “in,” if you will, to their romance, the same way Yehua moving to the fox cave and integrating himself into Qian’s life and taking her on walks and cooking her food is an “in.” 

     Their love is very much a “walking along with you for a while and suddenly realized we love each other” kind, and for Qian, because she’s been going at it alone for so long and because she has had her trust broken before, she definitely needed to get used to the idea of having someone, of loving someone, of existing in the same space as that someone and regarding him not as an outsider but as family, as someone she loves and trusts and can rely on. And so narratively, the physicality becomes important. It becomes sort of the symbol and metaphor for intimacy, for trust, for, bridging their gap and both getting used to and putting down their defenses in regards to loving each other. I always say if the romance is good and well-structured, then the physicality can only add to the depth and meaning of that love. I think in this instance, Tang Qi is very much successful. 

     Thank you very much for your kind words regarding our interpretations of the characters! On this blog we are always trying to fill in character motivations as deeply and three dimensionally as possible while not obliterating their flaws. It’s nice to know that we are succeeding, at least to some degree! 

     (ADMIN LIN) : Now that Admin Ro has addressed Yehua, we’re going to get into the nitty-gritty of Lian Song. Jk jk. We don’t quite know what you’re referring to when you say painful tropes in reference to Lian Song. If it’s how he is portrayed as a playboy - that is in fact not a fandom creation, TQ herself has explained that he is in an author’s note of Lotus Step’s and how it differs from the typical brand. 

Admin Ro is kind enough to do the translation of the author’s note for me. 

Also, I'm not trying to speak up for Lian San, but I'm curious - have you all forgotten he's a playboy? From the start his character setting has never been The Good Man, so, to everyone who asks why he's flirting with her with no intention of marrying her, flirting with her with no intention of marrying her is completely normal for him. Have you all forgotten the beauties that come and go in Yuanji Palace? He has always been the not assertive but not refusing and definitely not responsible Third Highness ahahaha.

For a playboy to go for a beauty that's his type without any care is an easy thing. To debate and consider her interests for a long time is the real action that's different from his usual behavior. This action shows that he feels differently about this person. If they were fighting for a day of pleasure, then what's the difference between Cheng Yu and the beauties that pass through Yuanji Palace?

         However, if you meant there was other interpretation of him out there, we’re definitely sorry you’ve seen those. He definitely does struggle with depression-like feelings, although the mentality also ties to Buddhism, so we believe it’s a mixture of both that the author is showcasing with him. As someone who suffers a similar form of depression, he’s a refreshing take on it. It’s not the typical sad-depression, it’s just an emptiness but still existing and still doing things, even if he switches through 3 million hobbies on any given day. 

        Now mind you, majority of which we talk about Lian Song on this blog takes place during Lotus Step and 50,000 years predating what you’ve witnessed in the variations of him in the dramas. Those are still valid parts of him. Especially regarding Cheng Yu, which James Li (Lian Song from both dramas) has said in an interview their relationship is something like 50% friends and 50% lovers. 

         There is also the serious, decisiveness in which you see when he’s advises Yehua on things. Then there is suggestions Lian Song makes to Yehua, such as the ones that lead to Yehua “meeting” Su Su a second time, this being in his human form. His advice with love is odd, but it’s never done out of his understanding of situations. And his understanding of love, which is shaky at this point in time and that neither admin can say what it is exactly yet in Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms or Pillow Book, because we haven’t had time to sit with him in either timeline beyond him being melancholy over Cheng Yu when she won’t look at him during Bai Feng Jiu’s sword case and earlier in the novel having been making the saber for Cheng Yu that required some help from Donghua Dijun. 

          As it comes to physicality in reference to Lian Song and Cheng Yu - their love story is a bumpy trail, that we still don’t know the full extent. However, if there is any more sexual tension between them, it won’t be appropriate to adapt that aspect of them as it’s a heavy tension. And they are required, by the universe in the future, to have a child. So, once again, Lian Song is not misinterpreted when it comes to these aspects. This doesn’t take away from the romantic elements - sexuality and romance can coexist. They most certainly do within all the couples of this series, these two however are currently the most prominent of the couples so far.