#the french is definitely wrong too I’m sorry french people

[rainee-chu]

Girls

[ajortga]

sweet

pairing: jenna ortega x fem reader

summary: after filming, jenna decides to relax for some coffee, not expecting to meet you and fall in love with girl that makes her knees weak.

word count: 1.9k+

read the next parts here! : part 2 part 3

Jenna can remember meeting you like it was yesterday.

At a coffee shop, not too far from the scream set in New York City.

She roamed around, it was evening, the sun was going to set soon, Jenna could tell the way the sky slightly became yellow, getting the slightest pink.

Jenna liked sunsets.

She had just finished filming for a scene, her headphones were on and she needed some fresh air. 

Her noise cancellation was on, walking the streets as she felt her stomach rumble quietly, she was hungry.

She looked around for a place to snack as she looked around, a famous pizzeria was definitely not what she needed.

She turned a corner and she saw a place that was made out of caramel bricks, plants neatly outside with vines hanging from head to toe, she could see the warm welcoming presence on the inside, lanterns hung from the ceiling.

She didn’t really like coffee.

It was so bitter the first time she tried it, of course she didn't know (till recently) that she ordered black coffee with no sugar or creme and almost choked it out.

So she stopped, if anything it added less sleep along with her insomnia.

But she went anyway, the vibe felt comforting. Plus there had to be more than just bitter coffee.

She pushed the door open, a small ding being heard.

Then she could smell the soft scent of coffee and fresh pastries lingering, she felt her hands cold, but her gaze shifts up, and she can feel her whole body warm, like a cozy fire, suddenly, she felt nothing but a daze of love shock.

Her eyes meet your figure, your hair was in a messy bun, a ruffled beige apron tucked around your body over a blouse, pouring creamer in a latte cup, a flower design being made as you traced the coffee with soft hands.

Your focused eyes shift from the cup to her, she can see a small glow in your warmth, they soften as you smile, waving. Softly, but loud enough to hear over her headphones, you saying, “Welcome!” 

She can feel her lips twitch into a smile, tucking her scarf beneath the nape of her neck, it was already warm enough here.

She looked up at the menu, so much to choose from.. And so many flavors.

She bit her lip, in thought as she was stuck, there was a lot.

But so much coffee, she may have not liked coffee the best, but coffee with this many flavors could change her mind.

She was there for a long moment, until you spoke up, you were in front of her, thinking she was going to order, she was standing in front of the cashier after all.

“Trouble choosing what you want?” You ask, tilting your head.

That took her out of her trance, taking her headphones off and wrapping them around her neck. She finally realized where she was standing, in front of the damn register.

“Oh I’m so sorry, I can be kind of clueless when I have headphones on, uh, um. Oh yes, I’m not so sure what to get, I’ve never been here.”

You give her a smile, and she can swear she feels her legs wobble, she could drown in those eyes. So pretty..

“Don’t apologize, please. Don’t worry, it’s okay not knowing what you want, to be honest I think you would like a drink. I think you would like our french vanilla or pumpkin spice latte.. With a sprinkle of cinnamon. How does that sound? This is just my recommendation, I could be wrong, but I think I can read what people should get pretty well! They end up liking it. Don’t count on me though,” You breathe with a little laugh. You sound adorable when you laugh. Your lips are perfect. Kissable.

She feels something she hasn’t felt in so long, butterflies. 

You were so sweet, something about you made her not want to tell you she didn't like caffeine or the taste. 

You just called her love, if anything the color of love was on her cheeks.

“I.. Um.. Yes, I’ll take that. Can you mix those?…”She was going to say your name but didn’t know it, looking down at your name tag, Y/N/L/N. “Uh.. Oh Y/N."

“Of course I can! One french vanilla spice coming up! Anything else you would like? Our pastries just came out of the oven if you’re in the mood for that.”

You were pretty. Unlike any other stranger she'd see on the street before.

Jenna looked at the display, her hand pointing to where her eyes landed, “I’ll take one of your strawberry croissants, I never tried that.”

“You never had these? These are perfectly sweet and soft! They’re my favorite. That’ll be $8.13 please.”

She grabbed her card and swiped it, and you smiled, “Thank you Jenna, give me 5 minutes or so.” You looked at the name of her card.

You look at the names of her customers from their card, how cute. You definitely wanted her. (Or so her delusional brain thought.)

After a few minutes of sitting down and lost in her thoughts from the music, (possibly staring at you preparing her drink the whole time,) she hears you call her name in the distance.

Something about your voice had the slightest softness, she never loved someone calling her her name more than now. Y/N/L/N. Your name is pretty. It'll be even prettier when your last name is hers when you're married-

She walked up to you and you handed her a light brown tray, with her latte in a cup, the design with a pumpkin with a small heart on it, and her powdered strawberry croissant. 

“Thank you.” She whispers, taking it gently and going back.

She sits down in the corner of the room, a booth with a pumpkin decoration and vinyls hung, she could see the steam fogging in front of her and just realizes how cold it really is.

She smells cinnamon, a small whiff of it.

She likes the smell of cinnamon. It reminds her of her childhood home on Christmas when snickerdoodles were being made.

She smells vanilla too.

She likes vanilla. She likes vanilla more than chocolate.

Her hands lifts the mug to her lips and drinks.

Immediately she feels the warmth seep through her like a gentle river, she hums at the taste.

The vanilla battles the strong bitterness of the coffee, leaving the smallest trail behind.

The pumpkin spice, she can taste it in the cream, it reminds her of fall.

It tastes comforting. It tastes like the feel of a steamy creamy soup that you have when it’s pouring rain outside. 

It makes her feel soothed. Cozy. Like she’s in her own Gilmore Girls show herself. 

Her lips press to the mug for the second time, sipping it again and it tastes so good. It’s not too sweet nor bitter. It tastes perfect. It warmed her whole body up, even with the freezing temperature.

She places the mug down on the wooden coaster, she’s never had a strawberry croissant before. 

And when she has a taste, she wants to buy the whole shop. Why has she never heard of this before?

There's a sweet fluffy cream in the middle, she can feel powdered sugar coating her lips as she licks them. 

It tasted sweet. It was light and delicious, the custard complimenting the sweetened strawberry. Who knew bread could pair with such. 

“Is it okay for you?””

She turns around and sees you, it seems like the rest of the customers had to go out before the pouring rain began to crash harder.

“It was more than okay, it was so good. I need that recipe,” Jenna jokes, making you laugh.

“The croissant is my grandma’s recipe. I remember she  made it when I first started baking in the kitchen. She thought it was so good that she had to put it on this cafe’s menu. For the latte on the other hand, you just have to know balance and what tastes right.”

Jenna’s slim hands waved a 5 dollar bill in the air, in which you immediately shook your head. 

“Take it,” she giggles.

“No, it’s yours.”

"No."

"Yes."

"If you keep it I'll give you my number."

... That was tempting for you.

“I wasn’t a big fan of caffeine in general. It was always too bitter or too sweet. I think it ruined the experience for me to try anymore. Take this as a word that I’ll be coming often,” she gave you a sweet smile, giving you a piece of paper on top of the money.

You looked at her with, a small grin forming on your face as you looked up, “You win. Thank you. look forward to you being a regular. I'll make your coffee extra lovely and sweet next time," you said with a wink that made Jenna blush.

Jenna’s smile never faltered as she left the coffee shop, seeing your number on her phone as she placed it in her back pocket. But as she tried to slide it in, it seemed a bit cramped as she took out the piece of paper that was blocking it. 

A five dollar bill. The five dollar bill she gave you.

She sighed, shaking her head with a small laugh, you were a smartass sliding the money she gave you back into her pocket without her knowing.

She folded it in her hands, looking back at the coffee shop, wanting to give it back and run so you couldn’t do anything. But as she looked back she could see the fairy lights on the sign dimming, your face behind the glass. You gave her a small playful wink as you flipped the sign to closed, your breath blew on the glass, putting a small heart on the fogginess and walked away.

Something in Jenna made her heart flutter, wanting to go to the coffee shop every day. Every. Single. Day.

But why? When she goes to restaurants she doesn’t seem excited to come again.

She could feel her cheeks heating up as she realized it was because of you. She wanted to come because of you and see your face, to see you giving her that smile or calling her name, to hear your voice as you talked to her, to see your pretty eyes glance down to her lips every once a while once again.

4:25pm

maybe y/n: sweet seeing you today, hope you didn't mind some money back, this is all i need :)

4:28pm

jenna: ooh. getting sweet already? hmmm, you're sneaky! maybe i'll pay you another visit tomorrow. (you reacted with 💗)

maybe y/n: aww, for me?

jenna: i wouldn't count on ittt but maybe it's a 50/50

4:30pm

maybe y/n: i don't think a customer would ask for someones phone number as an agreement?

..

4:35pm

jenna: you got me there

maybe y/n: i know i did jen :p

maybe y/n: don't get ahold of yourself, i still have to know you better ml

jenna: then tomorrow is set.

maybe y/n: tomorrow it issss (jenna reacted with a 😗)

She covered her face and let out a small groan as she came home, her back hitting the mattress as she looked up at the ceiling. She could feel a small grin forming on her face as her eyes sparkled, her nose scrunching.

She liked the girl who lay behind the mug of coffee.

She liked you.

-

a/n: wanted to take a small break on requests, i think i should focus on thinking of my ideas instead of doing request one by one from my inboxes, if that makes sense. requests are soon!

i'm not sure if i'll take some because sometimes these requests don't have any of my ideas in mind so it's hard to write something that feels good<3. enjoy this cute long ish drabble that i made a few months back but never finished<3

[heartpascal]

joel’s place

▹— joel miller x platonic!reader, hints of jesse x reader

▹— summary: you visit the cemetery

▹— a/n: this is inspired by the song robert’s place, simon robert french. i think it fits the situation perfectly :( — also i wrote this over many months so it may read a bit inconsistent, sorry! it also isn’t proofread, and by the end might’ve turned into just a string of consciousness idk

▹— warnings: major character death, grief and all that follows, mentions of scars & previous injuries, TLOU 2 SPOILERS, once again MAJOR CHARACTER DEATHS, lots of angst, talk of canon typical violence, abby mentioned, ellie and dina mentioned, also can be read as platonic for jesse i think, long lasting injury effects (please add if there’s more! i’m rusty)

▹— taglist: @rhymingtree @sleepygraves @wnstice (everything!) @auggiesolovey @just-kaylaa @evyiione @lemonlaides @fariylixie0915  @faceache111 @randomhoex @canpillowscry @pedropascalsrealgf @star-wars-lover @coolchick333 @soobsdior @rvjaa  @sunflowersdrop @definitely-not-a-seagull-i-swear @miss-celestial-being @hqkon (pedro!)

MASTERLIST if you can click on my masterlist, you can also do your daily clicks!

∘₊✧���──── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

Eventually, the snow bled into summer.

Time tumbled and warped, moved on, the world spinning, seasons changing and months passing by like nothing had ever happened. Sometimes, when you wake up, the sun shining in your eyes from a gap between curtains, the world feeling warm, you could pretend that nothing had. That the world was as it had once been.

And in the moments of waking, that’s easy. It’s second nature to slip into the past, into better times, where autumn fell and so did you. Where everything felt right in the world.

That, unsurprisingly, didn’t last very long.

But still.

You’re here, your house in Jackson unchanged, despite the year passing by unrelentingly. The only difference being the bloom of flowers at your doorstep, colours bright in the warm sun.

And you, of course.

If you’re honest, it’s probably you that changed the most.

With scars in new places, still aching with a pain that you were certain would never go away. Hair cut shorter, choppier, done by you in the middle of the night some time in the spring. Then there’s the shakiness to your hands, the tremors that linger despite the warmth. A slight limp when you would inevitably tread wrong on your ankle. And a new age to your face, a new hardship reflected in the bags that continue to weigh you down, after all this time.

You’re not sure that the people who were lost that winter would recognise you, had they been here now. There was a whole new air about you, too, lingering in every space you stepped into.

But still. You try not to think too much about it.

Instead, you gather a handful of flowers from your doorstep, bunched together into a makeshift bouquet that you tie with twine. The remaining blooms get a splash of water before you’re setting off from your house, stepping on soft grass until you reach the road.

From there, you wander along the path you know so well, that you have walked so many times. Gravel crunches underneath your soles with every step, unearthing the split second longer it takes for you to put weight on your ankle. It still hurts, but you don’t mind so much anymore. It allows some of your pain to be physical, rather than emotional. It’s a small mercy, really.

People used to call out to you when you walked this route, but they know better now, and don’t bother you when you carry flowers. That, you think, is a small mercy, too.

If you were to glance to your left, you’d see his house. Instead, you focus on your feet, ensuring you don’t roll your ankle again. As much as you try, you can’t accept that there’s someone other than him living there now. You don’t want to see his name pried off of the mailbox, Miller outlined from the five years that the sun bleached the uncovered wood around it.

You like to think that he’s still in there, somewhere, just down the hall. So long as you don’t look, Joel lives on in that house.

You could almost pretend that you weren’t going to his new home. His final home. His resting place, Tommy had called it once. But if you knew anything about Joel, you knew that the man couldn’t rest, not even in Jackson. Not fully. You’ve resigned to calling it Joel’s place.

It comes into view quickly, a mere stone’s throw from his house, and like every other time, you feel dread.

A wave of it crashes over you, leaving you gaping for air. It sinks down your throat and fills your lungs, your stomach, your very being. It’s an all consuming thing. You know his name is going to be carved upon a stone, instead of the mailbox where it should be, and every time you come here, it shatters the illusion. Each time, you have to pick up the pieces, and painstakingly put it back together again.

The flowers sit nicely, giving his place a burst of colour. It makes that pit in your throat open up again, and threaten to swallow your tongue. You know Joel wasn’t really a flower guy, but there’s not much else you can do. If he was here, you’d give him the bag of coffee that still sat useless in your cupboard. But he’s not.

“Hi,” You say into the still air, because you still can’t bring yourself to say his name here. There’s a part of you that refuses to believe it’s him, even after all this time. You practically fall to the floor as you lower yourself, and huff at the inconvenience your old injury still caused you. “It’s been a while.”

And it’s true — it’s been long enough that Zahir, the man who took care of the graves on a more regular basis, had removed the flowers from the last visit. They must have died quickly, which you found to be quite ironic. Still, you hoped these ones lasted longer.

“Dina’s going to have her baby in a few weeks, we reckon. She said that if it’s a girl, she’ll name her Talia. But if it’s a boy…” You smile faintly, just imagining what Joel would look like if he was truly here. “She said JJ. Jesse-Joel. I hope it’s a boy, if I’m honest. I think he’d have Jesse’s smile.”

A breeze shifts the air around you, and you fidget with the tongue of your shoe for a moment.

“Her and Ellie are still living up at that farm, with a whole bunch of sheep. It’s not far, but I don’t see them too often. Ellie doesn’t really show her face around here, much. I think she avoids it because of Tommy, and Jesse’s parents. I don’t blame her.” You continue, breathing in the warm air and hoping it’ll soothe some of the pain in your chest. “Jesse’s parents have tried to visit me, a few times. You would think I’m so stupid for avoiding them like this, I just know it.”

You swallow roughly, trying to push down the lump in your throat. More than anything, you just wish that he could answer you, wish that he could confirm your suspicions on what he would think.

“It’s just… it’s been hard, here. Since we got back. Everything just feels so different.” You scoffed. “Probably because everything is different. You should see Mike and Astrid trying to lead the patrols. Without you and Jesse…” You shook your head, trailing off.

The breeze shook some leaves free from their branches, and sent them swirling down to the ground, where Zahir would sweep them away later. You liked the man. He had been kind and respectful every time you had seen him here, and you appreciated how much care he put into the upkeep of graves of people he hadn’t even known.

Sometimes when you were here, it felt like you were the only person in the world. As if when Joel died, everybody else died with him. And in some ways, you think that might be true. Jesse died right after him, and Tommy was almost right behind him. And Ellie… she lost a part of herself in that basement. After Seattle, you were surprised there was anything left of her.

It was why you always felt relieved when Zahir showed up. He allowed you to realise that there were still people around you, that not everybody was buried with Joel. Zahir reminded you that other people were grieving, too. It helped to know that you weren’t actually alone in this experience, even if it felt like it.

You wanted to tell him how much you missed the two of them, how your life felt incomplete without them in it. You wanted to let the words fall from your mouth, wanted to observe as the breeze caught them and swept them away to somewhere that Joel just might have heard them. But you already felt silly, doing this. Speaking to him, knowing that he couldn’t hear a word of it.

What else could you do, though? Where else were you meant to put all of these unrelenting thoughts? What else could you do with the grief that threatened to bury you right beside the people you missed most?

“So much has changed here. It doesn’t feel like home, the way it used to.” You admitted to the open air, trying not to let regret or embarrassment consume you. The breeze could be comforting, if you allowed it to be.

It’s been a long time since you’ve allowed yourself to be comforted. Maybe too long.

All you can think is haven’t you suffered enough? Do you have to continue the seemingly endless cycle of pain that you have been trapped in for years? Shouldn’t you, after everything, be allowed some comfort?

“If I’m honest, I don’t think it’ll ever feel like home again. Not really. I guess that’s why Ellie doesn’t really visit.” You said, listening to the rustle of leaves, watching the petals on the flowers you’d brought shift. You believe it, too. You believe that Ellie refuses to visit because Jackson has lost its spark. Its livelihood. That, and you’re pretty sure she can’t bring herself to visit Joel’s place, or Jesse’s.

You don’t blame her. It had been one of the hardest things you’d ever done, coming here after returning from Seattle. You felt like some sort of sorry animal, failing to come home with the prey it was supposed to. Despite your best efforts, your jaws remained empty of prey. Your hunt had failed, had turned sideways, had left you feeling more sorrow than before.

How could you come here knowing that Abby was still alive out there? Knowing that, while Joel had been rotting underground, she had a life.

It had taken you a long time to accept that fact. To let it go.

Ellie was still holding on.

You suppose that you have always been better at knowing what went through Joel’s head. At rationalising things. You knew that going after her was never what Joel would’ve wanted for the two of you. But Ellie had always struggled with seeing his point of view. With seeing anyone’s perspective but her own, really. She could never understand Abby, just like she had never understood Joel after what he did to the Fireflies.

Joel would want the two of you here, not on some cross country journey for revenge. And you understand why — because that trip had caused you even more loss. It hadn’t fixed a thing, and at the end of it all, Abby was still alive.

Going after her wasn’t worth Jesse’s life.

If you had known the cost of that journey before you had left Jackson in search of it, you don’t think you would’ve gone. Not if it meant losing him, too.

A glance across the cemetery had your eyes locking onto another familiar headstone. It was still hard for you to face that one, knowing that you were the direct cause of Jesse’s death. Would he had left the safety of Jackson, if you hadn’t joined Ellie on her quest for vengeance? Would Abby have felt the need to defend herself, the kid with her, if you and Ellie hadn’t been so intent on killing her?

One of the worst parts about his death is that you could understand. Had you, Ellie and Joel not killed many people, defending those you cared about? Hell, hadn’t you killed WLFs to protect Jesse? You’d caused people this loss, too. Perhaps his death was just karma, finally catching up to you. But to reduce Jesse to that felt… wrong. He was more than that. So much more.

He should’ve been here. At your side, grieving Joel right alongside you.

Had you chosen to just grieve, rather than avenge, you wouldn’t have to do it all alone. If you had remained in Jackson while Tommy, Ellie and Dina left, you could’ve asked Jesse to stay. You’re almost confident that he would have.

But then you would’ve lost the others, too.

Either way, Jackson would’ve lost its spark of life.

“I think that, maybe, you guys were my home. And that’s why it feels like this.” You look away from the stone with Jesse’s name carved upon it. Admitting it just makes it feel more real, and you know that you will never feel at home again. Not like you did with them.

Your eyes water before you can do anything about it, trailing saltwater down your cheek. It crawls across the scar underneath your eye, and you feel the phantom pain of Abby’s fists upon your face once more. Everything in you aches, particles of loss and decay floating through your veins until it feels like it’s all you are.

But it’s not.

There’s still life within you, waiting to be let out.

Joel and Jesse don’t have that luxury. Which is why you feel like you have to honour them, like you have to actually live, instead of sitting here, wallowing in the pain of it all.

“I miss you.”

The wind brushes against your hair, your face.

“I’ll come back soon,” You promise, resting your palms against the ground to help you stand without aggravating your injury. “Maybe next time I’ll bring your guitar, show you what I’ve learned since we lost you.”

There’s a lump in your throat, and you can’t seem to swallow it. Your goodbye can’t get past it, and you know it will only worsen if you go across to Jesse’s place. You turn, swearing that you will have something more hopeful to tell the open air next time you come.

[colleybri]

My very basic first thoughts about the D23 Andor trailer… (in combination with the earlier leaked one from over a year ago!)

Mon’s hand gripping the edge of the Senate pod rail – I think she’s about to denounce the Emperor and the Ghorman Massacre. Does she know she’s going to be rescued, or does she think this is suicide?

Cassian and Bix - battle couple? Looks like she’s going to be a fully fledged rebel. Love the detail that she’s wearing braids again, as if to symbolise order returning out of the chaos . Not sure if it’s definitely her Cassian is talking to but it makes sense… “You’ll never feel right unless you’re doing what you can to stop them”. Kicking Imperial butt as a great therapy for what she went through? Hope she gets to take out Gorst. Mind you, that line could also apply to a lot of people. Great recruitment line, in fact.

Oh my, Cassian is “weaponised handsomeness” personified with that eyeliner and fabulous outfit. Woof!!! Sorry – I know that’s not very articulate. More seriously, doesn’t that line in the paragraph above contrast so brilliantly with “ I’m here to win and walk away”. He knows that’s not going to work anymore. For him or anyone else. And who is this character, a new recruit? Or Bix? (Fighter pilot Cassian too?)

Syril watching the TIE fly over… is it starting to dawn on him that perhaps he’s on the wrong side? That the order, justice and beauty he craves is not provided by this fascist regime after all.?

Luthen saying “little sister”… The tenderness of that makes me think immediately of Baze calling Jyn this in Rogue One so I don’t think it’s literally Cassian’s sister. Maybe Bix again or a new character . Unexpectedly moving though. Sounds like there’s love in the old boy yet.

Edit - I could well be wrong about that. It could just as easily be “what else is there?” and tbh that makes more sense for a sizzle reel… far less spoiler-y! Give us a decent trailer with proper sound quality please, Disney!

I never thought I would well up at the sight of a robot that isn’t B2EMO. But Kaytoo … oh, it’s so great to see you again. And Melshi!!! Remember - he has Syril’s gun. Will that come into to play again?

The farm planet is likely Dantooine, site of the first rebel base. Filmed in Oxfordshire. The previously leaked photos of the sets looked amazing. 

And this is a bit more niche, but I’m so looking forward to seeing Thierry Godard in this, as he’s such a fantastic (French) actor. Engrenages (Spiral) is one of my favourite shows of all time, Gilroy is a fan of “A French Village” and it probably led to his being cast for Andor.

And finally – it’s not even finished footage, but the special effects are looking incredible already.

And now, I need a little lie down.

[keelt9]

Chapter 12 (Final)

Masterlist

A/N: Finally! This is the end. I hope you enjoy this as much as me. I want to thank you for keeping reading until the end. I’m sorry for the delay, but believe me, I want to give you something I love and you could love in every single word.  

A long one but really worthy.

Thank you so much. 💜

Like we said arrow shot, arrow forgotten or something like that.

Carol greeted me with a I-just-came-back from vacation smile. “Happy New Year!”

I giggle as I put my credentials in the optical reader. “Happy New Year Carol. Did you enjoy the vacation?” 

She nods effusively as follow me with her eyes. “The rumors about the hats are true, huh?” 

I laughed as I touched the Christmas hat that these 3 weeks we wore a different color for each one of us, to keep the spirit all the time.

“Nice touch, huh?” Carol laughs. “They are in…”

“Third field, all are already there.” She completed my phrase. 

“Thanks Carol.”

I walked but today the cold breeze started to make me shiver. 

“Morning.” Olivia greeted me as she saw me walking to the entrance. “Please tell me…”

 I pulled out containers from my bag. “Nanny send you these.” And I saw Charlotte about to complain. “For each one of you.”

Nanny woke up early and made french toast for each one of the team including the coaches, while they were melting at each bite I sent a small video to her.

“Ok, we definitely enjoyed this breakfast but, wash your hands and get back so we can start.” Robert announced after finishing all their breakfast.

I’m for sure, more precise in each one of my shots, now I rarely hit the 8, my shoulder is stronger, I'm definitely in my moment.

“That's… So damn close.” I thigh my fist after seeing my arrow was so close to the small black dot in the small yellow circle.

“Bows down little kids.” Marie Anne shouted looking at Robert's notebook.

“Come closer please.” Robert has that mischievous face, as we walk to the tent and sit. “All right, we will have a fantastic year, I know losing time with your family must be hard, however we prepare something special for you.”

Liam gave us one by one a small box or paper bag. As we opened each one of us found a full day of spa, all including and the reservation for our favorite restaurant.

“I mean I don't want to sound ungrateful but I don't have the reservation.” I turn my box upside down.

“You, girl, have a full day in physiotherapy.” Marie Anne winks at me.

“Golden girl at maintenance.” Matt jokes. “Don't worry I'll drive you there.”

Sunday morning as he said I found Matt having breakfast at my house before me.

“I thought Nanny was here.” Matt complains, taking a sip of his juice.

I muttered sitting next to Mia. “Oh, hello.” 

Mia has calmed down these weeks, I don't think she understands my decision but respect it and put things aside.

“I thought you were a morning person but this guy.” She pointed at him with her fork. “Arrive at 6 am, 6!”

Matt smiles at Mia and stands for putting more honey in her pancakes. “I love you too Mia.”

Mia saw me looking at the small table in the entrance.“Nothing yet.”

Everyday I receive a peony of different color and small note, but suddenly, it stops on New Year's Eve, it could be a sign.

“I wasn't looking for that.” Mia nodded clearly, she didn't believe me. 

After I eat my breakfast, Matt and I drive to the clinic or at least that's what I thought until he takes a different driveway.

“You take the wrong one.” I say my eyes on my phone. 

Days passed but people were gossiping about why I didn't attend the ceremony where Max got his World Wide Champion trophy. The day of the ceremony Matt posted a story where you can see us practice, turning down the rumors for I keep focus. 

We avoided talking about if we broke up or not with other people and we confused them with the mixing signs; the account of Red Bull Racing published photos of the race, in one slide, me and Max hugging each other, but also the federation published photos of us training that had Max like in each one of them, however people questioned if he’s already in postseason, why he didn't post something with me.

“Matt?” He has a smile. “Where are we going?” We drove out of the city.

He clears his throat. “You remember the camping site where we used to go as teenagers.” 

I nod. “The best 3 hours of bus of the day. Although I should be in the clinic.” Matt raises his finger. 

“No, I said I will take you but I didn't specify when. You can sleep, I'll drive us safe and sound.” 

I laugh, closing my eyes and enjoying the now 1 and half hour drive.

I woke up because of the silent notice that we were already there and Matt went ahead leaving a note in the car.

<I don’t want to wake you, I’ll meet you in the lake.>

I stretched my arms before going to the lake which was hidden between big trees, in winter just branches and big trunks hidden it. In our 15's we used to come on frequently just to enjoy the sounds and playing with rocks, keeping us far away from the stress of training.

I notice how some places didn’t change at all, like the time stops. I saw him, hands in his pockets watching the lake.

“I’m sorry I fell asleep hard as rock.” I put my right hand in his left pocket trying to warm, but immediately noticed something wrong.

“Yeah, Olivia drove Matt back like 30 minutes ago.” I try to take my hand out but he closes his around mine.

“Max.” He giggles and tingles our finger inside of his pocket. “What are you doing here?” 

“Do me a favor. See that box.” I leaned my head to our right. “Could you open it?”

I narrow my eyes but he scoffs. “Please.” I can’t with those eyes. 

“I need my hand for that.” I try to pull out useless, he walks with me, only I take out until I have to pick up the box.

Is a small one still a little bit heavier for its size. I open and he holds the lid. The first thing I found was the cap he got for the first place in Silverstone, the second is 3 sets of tapes with different colors, my favorite ones.

“For your fingers.”

I laugh, the set was composed of 3 packages of tapes. “Max I don’t use a full package in a day, one lasts me at least three months.” He shrugged his shoulders, a smile on his face.

In the bottom a small black box, my recklessness made Max take the box leaving me only with the black one, I scoff but slowly I opened the box. A gold and delicate necklace with a pendant, “1” and the initials of my name.

“I tried to protect you.” Max has that regretting expression in his face, utterly strange for me to see that. I let him speak grabbing the necklace. “I didn’t want to realize the fact I hid things from you; it was hurting you more. Isn’t an excuse, but you were going through a hard time and I don’t want to be another hard moment in your life. I put you aside, and I’m so sorry.”

He scoffed sadly. “When we begun this I told you I don’t want to keep you hide and I just did that, I hide things from you, fuck.” 

Max grips the box tight for the way his knuckles turn white, I spoke first. “I feel unpeaceful these weeks.” He instantly raised his eyes from the box. “I mean, look at me I’m shaking just having you here in front of me, in a good way.”

I raise my hand for he can see the slight tremble in my hand.

He grabs my hand and kisses my forehead. “I can’t change the past, but I really want to build a future with you. I want to be someone you lend to all the time. Could you…could…” He shutter, I can’t help it, I kiss his cheek so close to his lips.

“Could you give me a second chance? Please.” 

I bit my lip. I sincerely want to give him that second chance but I need to keep my feelings on the right path, especially this year.

“Max, I have an important qualifier this year, I need to be focused on what I’m doing and being distracted about if you would come or if you are with me, it’s the last thing I need.” Max nods but Checo was right, he didn't give up.

I grab the box of his hands. “Could you give me time to think about it?” An unexpected smile forms on his face and he nods effusively.

“All you need.” He kissed my cheek.

“Do you mind giving me a ride to my house?” Max giggles but we start to walk.

-

“You are dead meat!” Matt mocks my voice as he sits in the airport waiting for our call. “And I get this!” 

He has a bruise on his right cheek, already deep purple.

“Such a baby! It was with the kids' equipment.” I sat next to Olivia who was in the middle of us.

When I found him the next day in the federation I ran after him but he’s faster than me so I grabbed a bow and arrow that kids used in their first months of practice, any sharp point just a type of sticker to remain stuck to the target.

Matt scoffs and looks at me. “Am I the one who disappears on the weekend?” 

Max stayed all weekend in town, he even met my parents, in an almost lethal encounter with my dad who I swear I never looked at anyone with those eyes. As the day passed and they talked, forcefully at the beginning of mom, dad said goodbye to Max not like Mr. Verstappen, just Max.

“Enough! Please enough.” Charlotte giggles and puts a cookie in our mouths for we shut up. “We have a long flight, two weeks far from home and qualification in the way, let’s relax and let the reprimand for when we come back.” 

Olvia stands and hugs Charlotte. “Thank you.” 

We’re not mad just messing with each other, the truth is being with Max that weekend was the best still doesn't change my decision. I know it was an unusual day, that’s not our daily life.

The first days were really calm, a few interviews, training and normal talks with other teams. 

“Morning Y/N.” One of the girls in the competition greeted me with an unusual smile. 

“I’m so jealous of you!” Her friends said. “In a good way, of course.” 

I don’t have any chance to answer because they keep walking, giggling as I walk confused to the table where the team is eating.

“Why is everybody looking at me as if I had a bug or something?” I sit in front of Charlotte who rolls her eyes and puts her cellphone in front of me.

At that moment, Olvia put her hand with her phone down, unable to answer to whatever is on the screen, putting my tray with my breakfast. 

“Charlotte first things first, we’re in the middle of a competition.” Charlotte smiles at me in an apologetic way, I shake my head as I take a drink of my juice. It’s for the best to keep me focused.

The day for team qualifications arrived in calm, I stayed focused all day, my shoulder feels great, I have my mind concentrated, it's time to put it to work together. 

The match is aggressive and all the teams know that if you want to “rest” a little bit before the Olympics you must secure your place in the first competitions.

To have all the things under control we agreed I’ll go in second place, Charlotte who has the better match lately, go first and Oliva with her experience will close the sets. By the finish of the second set things we’re equal, if we have 3 last good shots this is ours. 

Charlotte hits with ease, hits the 10, puts in us as leaders.

“Good shot.” Olvia keeps cheering us up, before I stand in the shot line, Robert who is with us gives me the last indications.

“Strong, and steady.” I heard Charlotte as I take a deep breath, I don’t shutter and release in 6 seconds, <9>

“Great, great.” We bump our fist and Oliva just had to secure the qualification with all above 8.

With her experience and showing why she is the team leader, easily hitting the <10>

Charlotte and I scream and hug each other carefully without hitting with the bow, as Rober hugs Olivia before joining us. We hear the scream and shouts from the terraces where we can easily distinguish our family and the male team. 

By the end of all the matches we have a few minutes to go with our families before going back to the hotel.

“There you are!” My mom hugs me tightly, giving a kiss in my head. “Mrs. Olympic.” 

“Mom.” I whined with a side to side smile before my dad lifted me and kissed my cheek.

“So proud of you, so proud!” Mia jumps over me with a huge smile and her classic neon pink cardboard.

“I hope to jump on you next month.” Mia’s qualification will take place next month and like her coach said, <Only a hurricane could take her out.>

“Nanny will come to tomorrow's qualification, they lost the flight, huge drama.” Dad said and I nod giggled because probably they lost the flight for confusing the hours.

“I’m sorry for cutting the celebration but…” Robert appears winning hugs from my family. “We have to go, the next time you will have her for a longer time.”

Mia grips my arm. “Can you wait a little bit, just a couple of minutes?” I hug her but with a competition in the next few days makes our times tight.

“Sorry Mia, not today.” Robert smiles and grabs my bag. “Tomorrow you can have her a little bit more.”

Mia looks at our mother who shrugged her shoulders. “Please.” But her answer came with the staff calling for us.

I kiss Mia before Robert and I go, happy for the good qualification.

With an early competition trying to avoid the hot sun of the noon, I woke up early, I only answered the call from my family and left my phone with Liam, avoiding distractions. All the team came with me until the entrance of the arena where we split up.

One by one wish me and let me know I will have success, but all see with Matt, we take our time.

Matt hugs me tight and holds me there for a couple of minutes. “You got this, alright? Hey, you come pretty far in less than a year, believe it, this will be the cherry on top.”

Liam calls me and high five with Matt. 

“Take care of her coach.” Liam laughs ironically.

“Don’t even say it.”

The first set was a total domination of my opponent, the wind increased and I felt unsure to shoot the arrow every time; in the small break, I took a deep breath and heard Liam.

“Remember, your shoulder is perfectly fine, now believe in you.” He pointed to the bow. “Adjust a little, it’s ok, you already shot in the worst conditions.” 

I scoff and hear the beep for the next set. Apparently benefiting me, because my opponent starts to miss her aim, even shooting for a 6 that gives an open window to win this one.

Liam praised me and I took my time for a quick look to the terrace. The pink cardboard came out easily, even an odd one I was able to see quickly.

I shake my head and take a deep breath. “One more, one more.”

The set was tight, the first shot was almost equal but by the last one, the wind was awfully increasing. I heard the gasp before the last arrow of the other girl, and I saw the score, 7, that gives a small window, all above 9 is a win.

I take my position but at the second I low the bow, a strong wind moves it, so I put it down and Liam starts the countdown, at 10. I barely reach my position with the bow and make the release.

I close my eyes right away after I feel the arrow come out of it.

The cheer and screams of my name make me open and the score is 10, the set is mine along with the qualification. 

Tears ran down my face. I get my head down as Liam covers me with a soft hug repeating the same words over and over again. “So proud of you.” 

I sniff and wipe my tears and hugs him with my free hand after calm a little bit I congratulate my opponent and put the bow down, as I see all the people I love there, the girls jumping and waving her hands; my parents crying and Mia screaming to the top of her lungs; Matt clapping and raising his hands making the people scream more.

But I took my time and saw in detail the last cardboard, a foraging language surrendered by hearts.

The staff indicated to me that it's time to go because they set everything for the award ceremony.

I wave my hand to the people before grabbing my bow and follow Liam back. Reporters asked me a couple of questions and even mentioned how I feel with the absence of Maxx one more time but with an event of Red Bull today, he couldn’t split in two. I answered like I've been doing all the time.

“We know our times are difficult to match, Max is with me in different forms.”

I held my tears almost all the ceremony until after giving our medals, I received the golden ticket, making official my qualification to the Olympics. In that moment one more time started to cry of happiness surrounded by shouts, whistles and claps for all there.

As soon as I can I run to meet my family where everyone hugs me and congratulates me.

“What a match! One more arrow and I could faint.” Anton, who arrives just in time for my competition, hugs me. “Congratulations!”

“Who said Charles couldn’t keep his eyes open in that last arrow?” Alexa hugs me, mocking Charles. 

“Am I the one who closes the eyes of each shot of the other girl?” He won’t let her go easily. “Unbelievable. Totally deserved.”

“Are you free to go?” I never heard those words coming out from my father's mouth.

Liam scoff shaking his head. “Tomorrow morning.”

“Didn't even a single night?” I pat my father's arms, he smiles. “Sorry, excited for you, I want to celebrate you properly.” 

We know we have a special dinner at the beginning of a hard year. The next morning we are all free to go, usually we go back home in the same flight but it seems my dad won't let this happen.

I should feel tired at the end of the dinner, but I’m full of energy, so I keep walking around the garden of the hotel.

“Finding it hard to sleep?” Olivia makes me jump, she is clearly sleepy.

I nod and giggle. “Two years ago I was stuck in a hospital room praying that I could raise my shoulder, now look at me.” I raised my arms. “I'm going to the Olympic Games.”

Olivia laughs. “Go, we cover you.”

I looked from one side to the other, but no one was around. “Olivia.” 

Charlotte enters running with my cap on hands. 

“Go, go, go.” Charlotte pushed me to the main door. “I call a cab, it will take you there, and wait for you for 30 minutes.”

Years ago after every successful competition I used to go back to the field where people kindly let me shoot a couple of arrows, and came back to the hotel.

“Robert will write my name.” I whispered but Olivia opened the door.

“Robert probably is sleeping or taking the last notes in the evil notebook.” Charlotte said with a smile pushing me, putting her hand on the top of my head for I don't bump into the car, even my bag is already there.

“Go!”

The driver kept silent all the time, when I arrived the security guard smiled at me and opened the door.

He turned on the lights as we walked to the field. “I already knew you were coming, I changed the target I hope is correctly set.”

I shake my hands. “I don't want to give you trouble, it'll be a couple of arrows and I'll leave.” 

“Take your time.” He passes next to me as I sit on the ground and start to open my bag.

Wait, how does he know?

I was about to put out all my things when I noticed a box on the top of it, with a small note with Matt handwriting. “Special occasion.” I giggle, if it's some kind of prank…

I didn’t have time to concrete my idea because another wood box was inside, this clearly more expensive, tie in the front a small key that clearly opens the tiny lock. Inside a lot of polaroids and small red envelope.

I took as I smile forms on my face, photos of me and Max in different moments, different occasions, each one with a different meaning for us with small notes from Max at the back; but what I call for my attention are the last ones.

Photos of the open practice we had 4 days ago, the competition for teams, and photos of today, and he holding the cardboard. Impossible. 

I quickly take out the red envelope which has written. <A special bonus from Charles ft Checo.>

Again more polaroid but this time Max in each one in different parts of the paddock, in the garage, the interviews all with cellphone in his hand; Charles clarify what he’s seeing, me. Each one of my competitions and the reactions before I did a good shot, his fist tight and raising a little bit.

“That was an infiltration.” I raise my head and Max is there rubbing his hands in his tights. “I hope you heard me at that perfect shot because my throat feels pretty sore.” 

I try to control the shaking of my hands, unable to stand up, keeping the distance between us. “You've been here for…?” 

Max presses his lips together thinking in his answer. “Thursday from the past week? Oh, Wednesday.” He smiles. “I was dying to see you in your best moment, show you that I’m here, I support you in every goal, every challenge and every fall. I want to be part of your life. I don’t want to be a question in your life, I want to be next to you, just be with you.”

I clear my throat and search for the photo of him holding the cardboard. “I don’t speak Dutch, so wha…”

“I love you. Ik houd van jou.” Max stole my words. “I love you, that’s what has been on my mind every time I see you, every time I hear you and every tim..”

I stood and ran to him holding him by his neck and put my legs around his waist, Max quickly put one of his arms around my waist and the other holding my head. 

“Fuck. I missed this.”  He whispered in my ear. “I’m so sorry, I promise…”

I shake my head holding him tight. “I love you.” He takes out all the air he’s containing after he hears the same words from me. “I really do, but I was afraid, I’m sorry.” 

He didn't let me go, just split so he could see my face and smile. “I know, and have faith in this is.” He gives a peck on my lips. “I already proved to you I don’t give up.” I giggle and kiss him. 

“I love having you here but…” He whispers at my lips with our foreheads one next to the other. “I’m dying to kiss you properly.” 

I stand on my feets, pull him with my arm around his neck. I swear feeling his smile on my lips is the best sensation in the world.

Max covers both sides of my face with his hands and keeps me closer, until the lack of hair makes us split, he looks straight into my eyes and puts his arms around my waist.

“Look up.” He whispers at me, I choke my head making him giggle and raise his eyes.

The lights of paper lanterns started to appear like stars in the sky, I covered my mouth and he let me go just for hugging me at my back.

“I didn’t know about those restrictions after the competition.” That’s why the insistence of my father and Mia. “This is supposed to be seen in a special place but no one warned me about the rules.” 

I turn around to see him. “I love you.” I grab his face and kiss him. “I really really love you.” He put his arm around my neck and kissed me one more time.

“But how?” I turn around one more time seeing the last lantern keep coming; Max giggles and kisses the top of my head.

“We have good friends and family.” He takes a deep breath, I can feel a smile forming in his face.

“What?” I tingle our fingers, he sees me with my favorite smile from him.

His smile covers his eyes. “I have what? 4 months until the Olympics ” I giggle and give him a peck on his cheek. “I guess I need to study a little bit more.”

Both of us laugh as we keep kissing, when we split he finally saw the necklace. The initial of my name is remplace for the <M>

He opened his eyes and I smiled. “A small correction.” 

The silence doesn’t feel uncomfortable, he’s like being at home. We tried even though it's hard to put into words.

“I love you.” 

Still, I didn’t know who said it first, but I’m pretty sure this time, I was faster than him.

[woobly]

PLUCK MY HEARTSTRINGS. track_013 — infinite rizz

𓂋˚˖ PAIRING. rival band lead guitarist! sunwoo x band rhythm guitarist! fem! reader

𓂋˚˖ GENRE. social media au with some written text, rivals to lovers, band au, college au, fluff, crack, angst

𓂋˚˖ WC. 1.4k words (pretty rushed n dialogue-heavy bc im kinda lazy,, mb)

𓂋˚˖ A/N. hello i am back from hell ..... (technically not rlly bc i still have 2-3 midterms this week but soon 🤞🏼🤞🏼)

𓂋˚˖ SYNOPSIS. competing against a rapidly rising all-male band from another school at an intercollegiate music festival doesn't really sound too bad on the surface. until you see their lead guitarist—the same boy who always made sure you knew who was the better guitarist between the two of you in high school.

masterlist. previous. next.

Saturday afternoon finally came around, meaning you were currently hanging out with your bandmates and your practice room neighbors. You all decided to have a picnic at the park that happened to be right smack in the middle of IST and Cre.ker, the two universities that you and your friends were attending. Yes, friends—whether you consider Sunwoo a friend was still up for debate, but his other band members were definitely fun to be around.

About an hour had already passed since you and Ryujin arrived with snacks in hand. The others brought the other essentials—picnic blankets, an acoustic guitar, bluetooth speakers, and even more food. The picnic had been going pretty well, with people recognizing some of you (mostly the guys) and Jacob providing relaxing background music with his guitar. Haewon was present as well, even if she isn’t part of either band, but no one seemed to mind since she blended in almost too easily.

Just before the sun was about to set, Haewon announced that she had to leave early.

“Sorry guys, I have a gig in an hour,” she shyly admitted as she began fixing her things.

“You perform too?”

“No, I do modeling sometimes,” Half the group gasped, while the other half nodded in understanding, causing her to giggle. Once she was ready to to leave, she approached you first, crouching beside you. “Y/N, are you free tomorrow?”

You turn to her suddenly confused. “I have some errands to do in the afternoon, but otherwise, yeah. Why do you ask?”

“Do you wanna hang out with me for lunch then? There’s this restaurant I’ve always wanted to try,”

You blinked blankly at her a few times before glancing at Sunwoo who’s already been looking at the two of you. “What about Sunwoo? And Eric?”

Haewon glanced at them as well, then smiled and turned back to you. “Oh, I’ve had enough of them for now. I wanna catch up with you,”

You would be lying if you said you weren’t taken aback, but you agreed anyway.

“Great! I’ll send you the address later.” she said before bidding her final farewells to the rest of the group and walking back to her car, with Sunwoo tagging along.

“Were you ever close with her?” Ryujin, who was seated next to you and eavesdropped on your conversation with Haewon, suddenly asked, bringing you back to reality from mindlessly staring at Haewon and Sunwoo walking away.

“Um, no actually. She was always in a different class. Kinda wish she wasn’t though, maybe I could’ve gotten higher grades in groupworks,” you joked, causing Ryujin to smile and scoff.

“Do you think it’s weird?”

“What’s weird?”

“Her asking you out for lunch like that in front of everyone,”

“You don’t think I’m the type to get asked out like that?” you joked again, trying your best to sound as offended as possible.

Giving up, Ryujin sighed and said, “Never mind I asked,” and took a piece of her french fries.

Giggling, you also took one of her fries and dipped it in your cookies and cream ice cream before popping it into your mouth. “I’m kidding. I’m sure she doesn’t mean it like that. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with hanging out and reconnecting,”

“Still. If she really is asking you out, you better say no because I was already thinking about asking her out,”

“You what?” Another voice suddenly joined your conversation, a voice distinctly Sunwoo’s.

“Yeah, you got a problem with that, Mr. ‘I got infinite rizz’?”

“I do actually,”

“Oh? And why is that?” You merely chuckle as you watched them bicker and Sunwoo eventually having to admit defeat.

“Guys, can we please cut the cake now?” Hyunjae whines out of nowhere, and you slightly cringe watching the older boy act like a child.

“Wait, let’s take pictures first!”

After settling down from the quick photoshoot under the setting sun, Sangyeon and Seunghee begin passing slices of the celebratory cake they bought. As you ate your share, you noticed Sunwoo removing the berries on his slice.

“You don’t like the berries?”

“No, you can have them,”

Hesitantly, you took one of the berries he set aside on his plate. Plopping it in your mouth, you smiled and swayed a little, happy from receiving extra free food. Sunwoo watched you take his food and simply chuckled.

Borrowing (read: stealing) Jacob’s guitar, Sunwoo began to play random chords. You couldn’t help watching in awe since he was seated next to you as you continued eating your slice of cake. You kept switching from looking at his right hand that was plucking by the sound hole and his left hand that was smoothly switching positions on the fretboard. Everything about the way he handled the guitar was so serene, grasp ever gentle and fingers calm and relaxed—much different compared to how he played on stage. You didn’t realize you were watching so intently until you heard Hyunjae’s laugh suddenly boom from where he was standing.

Snapping out of your trance, you look away for a second and speak loud enough just for Sunwoo to hear.

“What song is that?”

Sunwoo hummed, as if to contemplate a seemingly simple question. “Nothing. I don’t think we’re close enough for me to tell you yet,”

“Oh? But I think I know you quite well already. You’re kinda easy to read,”

“And what might you have concluded from reading me so well?” he playfully said, finally looking up from the guitar in his hands.

You smiled, already knowing where this is going. “That you may or may not have a teeny tiny crush on someone I know,”

Sunwoo’s face goes slightly pale, and he pauses his movements, momentarily forgetting the next chord of the same pattern he’s been playing for a while. You laughed at his reaction, it was priceless, but practically confirming with the boy himself that he did in fact liked Haewon felt a little weird.

Suddenly becoming defensive, Sunwoo raises his hand in an attempt to redeem himself. “Okay, to be fair, that was high school. I don’t—”

“What?! Oh my god, this is worse than I thought,” laughing your ass off, he tried to calm you down but to no avail. When you finally caught your breath, you looked at Sunwoo and chuckled at him.

“Please tell me you wrote a song about her,”

Sunwoo looked at you with obvious defeat and lied down with his back on the picnic mat.

“Oh my god,” you chuckled again, but this time, you couldn’t bring yourself to laugh as much anymore. “Okay, I’ll stop. But not without hearing it,”

“You’ve been listening to it the entire time,”

You gasped, finally connecting the dots. But somewhere between all the putting two and two together, you remembered the serenity that had been radiating off of him earlier, and that tugged at you a little, knowing the reason behind that peacefulness.

“Got any lyrics?”

“Just one or two. I never really knew how to put it into words,”

You watched him watch the clouds move above you. He was responding to you, and yet his mind seemed to be so far away, perhaps lost among the puffs of gray that the breeze carried away.

“Play it again,”

“No, I wanna lie down,”

“Play it again,”

He sighed, sitting up and resting his hands on the guitar once again. As you paid more attention to the song, you began humming melodies and blurting out cliche lines that only a teenager with a crush would say.

As time went on, you began coming up with random lyrics about laundry and taxes, causing you both to laugh at how unserious the atmosphere had become. You were so busy busting out verses that neither of you noticed the others beginning to pack up.

“Give it up, guys. We’ve been listening to the same song for hours,”

“Y/N, let’s go home. I thought you had a project proposal due soon,” Ryujin whined as she started to feel tired.

“Shit, I forgot!” you cursed as you packed up your things as well. Sunwoo watched you leave his side and felt a little awkward just sitting there with the guitar, so he decided to help the rest pack up.

Before you knew it, everyone was already saying their goodbyes and beginning to walk back home.

masterlist. previous. next.

𓂋˚˖ TAGLIST. @wooyoung-a @nyujjan @winterbeartaehyungbestboy @ja4hyvn @ahnneyong @noempathyy @2hyunjae @sunwoahkim @sunnysunuu @feireads @igotkpoops @ilovechanhee @baehaechannie @mochibabycakes @ilvaussie @justsayk @beomsun @aurumness @pengbi @meowtella @ily-cuz-i @kiyokoism @erodemyedges @kswr1d @neoguriku @hwasatiny @woosunnie [open, dm/send an ask to join!] — bold cannot be tagged

© woobly, 2023. all rights reserved.

[daddyboyhalo]

Hey! I saw your post where you expressed how you were feeling these days, and I want to give you all my support. I agree that this is a very difficult time, being this involved in something and it being turn around in just a few days, changing everything about it... Personally I struggle a lot with the fact that the other streamers, and mostly communities, are kinda "allowed" in a sense to just continue as it was? It might not be very clear but in a lot of discord servers and all people are not AT ALL up to date to the admins stuff, and are just enjoying their daily qsmp stream. I'm not blaming anyone, every streamer takes the matter how he wished, and playing doesn't mean working on things, but I guess it feels a little unfair in a sense? like Phil saying Chay and Tallulah admins are well and waiting to come back stings a little after seeing pomme and dapper leave :( It's hard to feel happy for this when you have the short end of the stick I guess

And the French might be a little too forceful on the ccs ; they are obviously not ready to talk about it, and waiting to talk to Q, but bagh and antoine still said that they watched the awards. I am quite uncomfortable with everyone assuming they will just leave when most of them didn't even had time to look more into the matter, Antoine being on holidays, baghera on her dance show, and etoiles having health related issues... I'm just afraid that it will put pressure on them while the other ccs are kinda free to not talk about it you know?

But yes, I personally try to focus on my uni work, to go out a little, to watch other content. For me the hardest is definitely the fact that all of this happened while etoiles had to take a break. I'm very happy that he's doing it, since he needed it. But since he is my main streamer since a few years, going from having him in the background for hours and hours to nothing during now three weeks was hard, especially in a time when I wanted to change my mind. I kinda felt like an orphan lmao, and hearing that he a was going to the hospital every day, still made me sad despite it making me happy that he was getting treatment. He wanted to come back soon but a said he had a relapse in his health two days ago :( My only wish right now is to see him get better, and stream when he'll feel well ! But yes it's rubbing me the wrong way that ppl are assuming "etoiles will boycott, he'll do this, that" when the guy is really not well, the qsmp is not is priority at all these days...

Sorry for the long text, but your feelings spoke to me and I also felt the need to vent a little, sometimes it's better than just keeping things for yourself, you are free to ignore this!

Hope it'll get better for everyone <3

-🦦

aw anon no worries, i’m glad you were able to vent here!! ; ; sorry for the late response, i’ve been incredibly busy, but: i agree, i really don’t like when people put expectations and pressure on a cc to take a specific action, ie boycott, especially when they’re going through it outside of the server. it might be that people just don’t realize, because i actually didn’t quite know how etoiles was feeling and struggling since i haven’t been keeping up with his streams for awhile and don’t really use twitter, so i wasn’t aware until i looked into it more. i really wish the best for etoiles and can imagine how that feels with him being your main streamer!! ; ; the person who’s comforted you so much without even realizing it is struggling, and that’s not a good feeling. but i’m glad you’ve been focusing on uni and getting out, focusing on other content, because those are all important coping mechanisms and can make it just a bit less painful! you have my full support too!

and yeah, it really does short when we get the short end of the stick here; i was both comforted that chayanne and tallulah’s admins are doing well and just… i’m not sure of the right word, but bitter knowing that some people were treated well and others weren’t? i also worry with that being the only perspective some people get that they’ll assume that must mean everything is fine when it’s not true. honestly, i wish i was just a casual viewer for example watching qsmp with no knowledge of what’s going on and that my enjoyment could just continue as normal, but instead the burden of knowledge and loss stings and aches so badly. it gets to be business as usual for some but for others it’s this horrible loss and grief, and it causes such a dissonance—“like, do you guys not see the dead and dying on the floor? am i going crazy? why are you walking straight through them?”. don’t mind my own rambling, but yeah anon, we’re in this together :(

[moonalumi]

★Did your license get suspended for driving all these guys crazy?💗🔥

★Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be fine print🔥💗

★Did you just come out of the oven? Because you’re hot💗🔥

★Know what’s on the menu? Me ‘n’ u🔥💗

★It’s a good thing I have my library card, because I am totally checking you out💗🔥

★I was feeling a little off today—but you’ve turned me on again!🔥💗

★I’m studying to become a historian. I’m especially interested in finding a date💗🔥

★Anyone who says Disneyland is the happiest place on Earth has clearly never stood next to you!🔥💗

★They say nothing lasts forever—so would you be my nothing?💗🔥

★I hope our love will be like the number Pi: irrational and endless!🔥💗

★Are you a charger? Because I’m dying without you!💗🔥

★Even in zero gravity, I would still fall for you🔥💗

★You must be made of Copper and Tellurium—because you’re CuTe!💗🔥

★You’re so sweet, you’re giving me a toothache🔥💗

★Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for💗🔥

★Do you have a BandAid? I just scraped my knee falling for you🔥💗

★I’m sorry, were you talking to me? No? Would you like to?💗🔥★Are you French? Because Eiffel for you🔥💗

★I was wondering if you’re an artist because you were so good at drawing me in💗🔥

★If being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged🔥💗

★Are you an electrician? Because you’re definitely lighting up my night💗🔥

★Do you like bagels? Because you’re bae goals🔥

★You know what you’d look beautiful in? My arms💗🔥

★I’d give up my morning cereal to spoon you instead🔥💗

★I love my bed, but I’d rather be in yours💗🔥

★Have we met? You look exactly like my next gf🔥💗

★Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile💗🔥

★You know those gaps between your fingers? I think they were made for mine🔥💗

★I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away💗🔥

★If you were a flower, you’d be a daaaaaamn-delion🔥💗

★Hey, you’re pretty and I’m cute. Together we’d be pretty cute💗🔥

★ If people were flowers, I’d pick you.🔥💗

★Do you watch Star Wars? Because Yoda only one for me💗🔥

★Do you know how to train butterflies? The ones in my stomach right now are quite untamed🔥💗

★Do you play soccer? Because you look like a keeper💗🔥

★Are you my appendix? Because this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out💗🔥

★Do you have the time? I want to remember the exact minute I fell for you🔥💗

★If you let me borrow a kiss, I promise I’ll give it right back🔥💗

★There must be something wrong with my eyes. I can’t take them off you🔥💗

★Your lips look lonely. Would they like to meet mine?🔥💗

★Do you have a sunburn, or are you just always this hot?💗🔥

★Your hand looks heavy, can I hold it for you?💗🔥

★I’ve heard it said that kissing is the ‘language of love.’ Would you care to have a conversation with me about it sometime?🔥💗

★Aside from being beautiful, what do you do for a living?💗🔥

★You're so pretty i forgot the rest of my pickup lines ♥😖

omg i spent so much time writing these cheesy corny ass pickup lines and i might get blocked too

(i didn't come up w all of them btw)

WHAT IS HAPPENING BRUH I AM BOUTA BLOCK YOU

im jk pookie this was silly i’m NAWT reading every single one

[chasseurdeloup]

Gone || Solo

[pm] She wasn’t possessed. It was her dad. She’s gone. She’s gone, but I […] we couldn’t stop. He’s gone, too. I think. He’s gone. I have something for you from her. 

[GIVEN TO KADEN ON BEHALF OF CASS]

Kaden,

You know, I don’t think I ever really told you this, but you’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever met. Not, like, physically — I know you’ve got the big, fancy hunter muscles and all that, but you’re in a town full of supernatural people, dude, working out is so not impressive! — but in the more emotional sense. I know you’re probably making a scrunchy face at this paper right now and, like, spouting your putains or whatever saying I’m wrong, but I mean it. You get knocked down over and over and over again, but you always get back up. I don’t think there’s anything stronger than that.

That’s why I know you’ll be able to handle it when I tell you I’m going away. Knowing you can handle it doesn’t make me any less sorry to say it, though. I’m sorry to add to the list of people who have split town on you. I know it was rough when Andy left. And Alex… Well, I know I could have handled that a lot better, and I’m sure you struggled with it, too. But you kept going. You always kept going. I don’t think I’ve ever told you how much I admire you for that. You’re kind of amazing, you know? Even if you are super French. 

I know I don’t have to ask you to watch over people here, because I know you’ll do that anyway. You’re a protector. I knew it the first time I met you, when you were going up against hardcore Sonic the Hedgehog. (Did you ever Google that, by the way? You should. I think video games would be good for your stress levels.) I am going to ask you to take care of yourself, though. I think you forget to do that sometimes. You’re always thinking of everyone else, and that’s great. That makes you a good man. But I think you forget to think about yourself sometimes. I think sometimes, you’re so worried about keeping everyone else together that you forget that you need to stay together, too. The world needs you in one piece, Frenchie. I do, too.

This isn’t going to be a forever thing. I don’t want to stay away forever, and I definitely don’t want to stay away for so long that I can’t see you again. That means you have to stay alive, okay? You have to stay alive until I get back so I can make fun of your stupid fluffy hair and convince you that the moon is made out of cheese or whatever. I know hunting is dangerous, but you have to be careful. I really need you to be careful. Plus… Wicked’s Rest still needs a superhero, and you’re my best sidekick. Robin got to become Nightwing eventually, you know. (Or Red Hood, or Red Robin, or Spoiler, or Signal… there were a lot of Robins. Batman had a serious Robin problem, no joke.) It’s your turn to move up. I know you’ll make me proud.

I hope that’s not weird to say. That I’m proud of you, I mean. Because I am. I know it’s been really tough for you. Alex and Andy left, and I’ve been an asshole. But you kept on going anyway, you know? I think that’s really cool. You’re so much braver than I know how to be.

I need you to do one more thing for me, if you don’t mind. There was a hunter at that creepy hunter bar, and I hurt her. I don’t know if she deserved it or not. I think she might not have. She was just trying to help someone, you know? I don’t know what happened to her after, but… if you ever find her, could you just… I don’t know, make sure she’s okay? Tell her I’m sorry? I don’t think it will mean anything to her, but I think I want to say it, anyway. I’m sorry to you, too. For everything. I hope you don’t hate me now, but I’d get it if you do. It wouldn’t change anything I said. I love you for free, okay? You don’t have to love me back. But if I see you again someday… I hope we can still fight crime together.

Love, Cass

—-

Gone. 

She’s gone.

Kaden said the word over and over in his mind as he stared at the letter in his hands. Gone like Andy was gone or gone like the farm was gone? Gone like Mack was gone or gone like Damien was gone? Gone like something he might see again or gone like something he could never ever touch again. His heart ached for it to be the former. He needed it to be the former. He needed some sort of false hope that he’d see her again.

He pretended that was true as his eyes glazed across the words on the paper. He might have managed it, too, if his vision hadn’t blurred halfway through the stupid letter. Putain, he hadn’t even registered what it said, not really.

All he could think about was the word “gone.”

She was gone. 

And this was all he had. 

His knees gave way and he found himself sitting on the couch, hunched over, still trying in vain to read the last words he would ever get from Cass. All he could see was the rocks on the coffee table. None of them were for him specifically. These were the rocks she had brought for the cabin, the ones that she said fit the three of them while they had all lived there. When it was Andy and Alex and Kaden all under one roof. When Cass would come over and he would conveniently have something to do at the farm to give them some time alone. When it was superhero movie night and the place sounded like laughter and smelled like popcorn. 

The rocks she had given him specifically were gone. Brought to the farm house. Maybe they were still there in the rubble but it didn’t matter much. They were gone.

She was gone. 

She was gone.

Kaden threw his fist into the coffee table, wood splintering and blood splattering on his knuckles in response. 

No. The letter. The letter, he couldn’t get blood on it. It was all he had left. He’d lost too much. It was gone. So much of it was gone. He couldn’t lose this too. He couldn’t lose a single word to a goddamn bloodstain.

The ranger whipped around and placed the letter on the counter, hoping that would be safe enough from the animals in the house while he went to run his hand under the sink. 

Gone. Gone. Gone. 

It was all he could hear in the water as it poured out form the faucet. 

Once his hand was clean and bone dry, he returned to the letter, peering over it, and read every word over and over until it was nearly memorized. If only it could make any of it make any more damn sense. None of it made any fucking sense. 

She thought he was strong (even though it was a miracle he was standing). She was proud of him (that was stupid, there was no reason to be proud of him, and he was proud of her first). He’d have to ask Van about video games (and maybe batman, too). He was still her sidekick (and he should have tried harder back at the cave, he should have done more). There was a hunter he had to track down (then again maybe he didn’t have to look too far). She’d loved him (even if he didn’t know why she bothered with him but he loved her, too). 

And she was gone.

[halftheway]

@qspreen was kind enough to give me this url so here's a ficlet i wrote in exchange for her abt etoiles meeting mariana !!

There’s a weird yellow shape in the distance. It’s too big to be Chayanne and his floatie, Etoiles notes, so he begins moving forward with caution. Frankly, he’s also a little excited. The server has been oddly quiet lately, and though spending the afternoon with Pomme making friendship bracelets to hand out was fun (when he dropped her off with Baghera, she’d cried when she got hers), he can’t lie that he isn’t looking for adventure.

He approaches the figure sitting in the grass with a hand ready at his side, floating above the hilt of his weapon, but it’s… just a guy.

There are a lot of absent people, and Etoiles mentally runs through everyone he’s heard about, everyone that’s been gone… The list is a bit too long for his liking. Luzu is emo, he’s been told, so it’s not him. Not Spreen either, because he’s definitely looking at a human and Roier had talked just a touch too long about Spreen’s fuzzy little ears. Dan, maybe? Or Wilbur?

He reviews what he knows about Wilbur’s appearance: dark hair, glasses, yellow sweater… this person does fit the bill.

Etoiles does try to make noise as he draws closer, but he’s not quite loud enough. The man in front of him jumps when he touches his shoulder, exclaiming something in Spanish.

His heart sinks. This must be Mariana.

There’s a curse on enchanted weapons, Etoiles discovered, like the one Charlie had accidentally killed Tilín with. Breaking the news to him was difficult enough, and Etoiles had hoped if he ever met Mariana he’d have more time to prepare. He lost his own daughter because of the curse. There’s no easy way to say it.

Mariana looks up at him, brows furrowed and an axe visible on his belt. Etoiles spreads his hands, trying to communicate he’s not dangerous, and says, “I’m not here to hurt you.”

He glares at him for a second then holds up a finger as he takes out his comm and adjusts the translation settings, still scowling, then clicks it back into place on his belt when he’s done.

Etoiles does the same and repeats himself, and Mariana replies, “Then why did you fucking scare me?”

Etoiles shrugs and introduces himself, holds out a hand for him to help him up. Mariana eyes him warily but takes it, standing a good head or two taller than him, and says “I'm Mariana.” Etoiles looks him up and down, studying him.

“I'm not a fucking bug, man,” huffs Mariana. “Quit it.”

“Sorry, sorry.” How does he start? “Um, listen. Your sword, it was cursed.”

Mariana repeats cursed in a terrible French accent, making a face, and Etoiles raises an eyebrow. “Okay, sorry. Cursed?”

Etoiles nods. “All of them, the enchanted ones, the sweeping edge? It— something is wrong with it. Or, was. I think it’s been lifted now.” Mariana stares at him blankly. “What I mean to say is… your daughter. I heard what happened to her, and… I had to let you know.”

Mariana continues to look at him with no expression, so he tries again. “Her death, it wasn’t your fault.”

“My fault,” he says softly. He looks down at his hands, and Etoiles notices a bracelet around his wrist with blue pink and white stripes. He touches it, and looks up at Etoiles. “She ran in front of me, you know, trying to protect me. She was so brave.”

“I know it won’t ease the pain, but I hope it brings you a little peace.”

[i-am-a-freg]

are you down to explain how the french revolution started? and maybe where the whole cake eating thing came from?

INDEED THANK YOU ANON(and I am SO SORRY I am horrid at checking my ask box, please forgive me and I love you)

Soooooooooo. This will be a little wacky and not entirely clear because I’ve forgotten some people’s names so forgive me lol.

It all started maybe a century or two before the French Revolution happened, when Jesus appeared to this little French girl(Margaret Mary alacoque i think?? If I’m wrong I’m so sorry don’t quote me on that) and the gist of what he says is this: I want to shower blessings on France and the king, tell him to put my Sacred Heart on his standard(or like his coat of arms or whatever I don’t know names of things) and to dedicate France to my Sacred Heart. So bestie goes to the king who is like. Nah.(side note wth bro. God comes down and you’re like nah??? The heck is wrong with this king)

anyway so that was (probably) Louie the somethingerother probably because they were extremely creative with their names. Fast forward to the American revolution. Now, all these dudes are aight. We love them for fighting for the freedom of our country yada yada but there’s a problem. They kinda suck. Like half the founding fathers are freemasons(which is a whole other kettle of fish), and by half I mean more like all of them. Except John Carrol. Or maybe it was Charles Carrol Idr. They were cousins tho one of them was the first archbishop of America and the other was the only catholic dude to sign the declaration yknow fun times.

Anyway im getting distracted. So then we’ve got mr Lafayette from France, who went to France to get supplies for our dear revolutionaries and brought them back, from our dear French king. Idr which one it was but the point is he got aid from the French king to win this revolution against the British. Lafayette goes back to France at some point after the war, and this guy fans the flames of the communist revolution in France(it’s literally always communists starting bloody revolutions I swear). Like, against the guys who just helped him in america. Talk about a backstabber. Now I’m a little hazy on the details and I’m not sure entirely how the revolution was begun because your girl has forgotten(sorry), but I DO know that Lafayette was instrumental in it so screw him.

And dearest anon, onto the famous “let them eat cake”. Before we go onto that let’s talk about the lovely girl who was supposed to have said this. Marie Antoinette was married off to this French kid when she was like 14 or 15, she was a catholic and the lavish immorality of the French court was something she obviously didn’t approve of. But she figures that this stuff is her responsibility to deal with and (in some ways) take part in, especially since bestie has got like the entirety of the French court pressuring her.

Anyway TLDR she’s a lovely little girl thrown into this cesspool of French aristocracy and feels like she needs to fit in.

Then over in America at some point, we have frickin Benjamin Franklin, who most likely did not have a high opinion of Catholics, French people, and definitely not royalty. the rumor of Marie Antoinette saying “let them eat cake” came from that bastard(pardon my French). And so now everyone thinks that Marie Antoinette was just a disgusting hussy who didn’t care about anything but herself and how much she could take from the poor peasants of France.

I’m not gonna pretend that the French court wasnt really gross and SOMEthing needed to change, but the revolution murdered everyone from tiny children to their beautiful innocent queen, while American founding fathers mocked or ignored them. Or in Alexander Hamilton’s case, though we should help the revolutionaries. Anyway I could say a lot more about that but I’ve already talked too much lol, so thanks for the ask!!!

[scriptstructure]

Thanks for your clarifications, I’m afraid I had been quite flustered and overwhelmed with what I really wanted to do.

The story I’m writing reflects a bit of my real life - but on a much larger scale. Most people I chat to are at least bilingual and I tend to interchange 3 different languages, sometimes 5. Our speech patterns differ between languages even and between people, especially when it comes to languages that aren’t fully fluent or other. So developing speech patterns definitely requires a sense of language. Some of my characters tend to speak certain languages depending on the other person, or the specific conversation, or even mood, and of course, fluency as well. Not all my characters share the same fluency in each language either, so there’s definitely some communication fumbles or odd phrases that I most certainly want to reflect, even if the majority of my writing is in English. 

Translation of course is also definitely not one to one, and nuances are important too. Japanese for example, has specific words for older or younger brother, you can’t just say brother and not know whether they’re older or younger. Speaking French, it means you generally can’t just say sibling and not know whether they’re male or female. A full translation to English. Easily done in English to be exact, and would be nice to explain being exact wasn’t merely a preference but due to language, but I might just use the vocabulary and explain it. But then are other languages that do things like differentiate ‘we’ into including the speaker or excluding them, which English does not do. Which means language is actually important and I’ll have to say so. Is that really really important? Or is that pedantic? Actually, in real life, sometimes we’d specifically use languages with exclusive or inclusive 'we’ to be specific in whether the speaker is included or we get English conversations like. “Well, let’s go.” “Come on?” “Oh, I’m not going, I mean you.” but switching to languages with exclusive we does not give that situation. But not always, so yes, that type of conversation may happen in English, or it may happened in another language. Or does my character use English or another language where it doesn’t differ, or do they? And if all characters can speak a language that differentiate it, then why did they use a language that doesn’t and end up confusing someone? That’s part of the nuances and characterisation, maybe because that came out first, maybe they didn’t realise the language ability of the others, maybe that’s what they are more comfortable with? Etc… How should I portray this?

I’m not sure if I’m going overboard with this and going into pedantic and screwing up the flow, rather than important details with the character’s voices or even language ability. Sometimes language ability is actually a plot point so I do want to focus on some of it. I suppose yes, writing stuff exactly how it is done in real life may not work in writing… but there are certainly differences with the overall conversation depending on language, that it seems to me, like an important part of writing character voices as my characters come from various backgrounds with so much linguistic variety that also may not fully match their background. It’s not only how they say it, the tone, or mood, how they feel, or whether they’re mumbling or speaking clearly, speaking fast, or slow.

Now about whether I want a chaotic confusing experience or clarity? Well, it depends on the specific point of the story perhaps. If it is a confusing scene already, maybe I’d like to simply it it otherwise it becomes more of a mess. But generally, I like to be inbetween.

I hope this is something better I can give you? Sorry if it’s gone all wrong again.

Alright, so you’ve got a lot of moving parts to consider, and I think that figuring it out is going to come down to a lot of trial and error. I can’t tell you what will work for your story and exactly how to do it, but I can suggest a few strategies that might help you figure out how to get the effect that you’re after.

First off, I’d suggest mapping out your plot, and then alongside that, mapping out the points at which it is important that specific language-related incidents are going to be central. Is there a misunderstanding, or a secret, or something to do with the language use which is going to be a big bombshell moment?

When you have your ‘bombshells’ worked out, map out the stuff that has to have happened prior to those moments, in order for the reader to be able to figure out what is happening. 

Is it important at a specific moment that character A does or doesn’t understand a certain thing? Is it vital at a particular moment that a character does or does not speak a certain language, or use certain words, etc? Then figure out at what previous point these elements are going to be established.

So those are the ‘big picture’ structural supports that need to be worked out, so that you know what you need to have happening and when.

The question of style is a difficult one. There are, of course, conventional ways of writing which you will be able to find in any english classroom, and writing workshop. Moving beyond those is a matter of trial and error.

I would suggest picking a scene, and writing it out with a number of approaches.

Try doing it in the mish-mash of languages, with no explanation, exactly how the ‘movie’ in your head plays out.

Then do it with every bit of dialogue translated and explained.

Then do it again somewhere in-between.

Probably for most scenes you’ll end up in the somewhere in-between state, but it helps to practice writing things in different styles so that you can make deliberate choices as to when you want to include more or less information.

When you’re drafting your story, a helpful strategy can also be, to write yourself a little bullet-point list of the things that you want the reader to know after they’ve read a particular scene.

For example, if I were writing a fantasy novel, I might have a list like:

-Protagonist is left handed (important because sword fighting style & connection to prophesy) -Protagonist was raised to be fearful of Elves -Elves are mysterious and secretive

So then as I was writing this particular chapter, I can go back and check that I’ve hit each point on my list. Each of these points will become relevant later in the story, so making sure that I get them on the page in a place where they make sense helps so I’m not trying desperately to cram something in later because I need it for a big plot point but I forgot to include it earlier.

Even if you are ‘being pedantic’ about language, it can be turned into a stylistic choice if that’s what you want to do with it. Consider if you might want to use unconventional methods like footnotes to expand on some of the stuff that’s happening in the main body of the story, for example. Or you might want to utilise a narrator who interjects to give the reader explanations or interpretations of what’s going on.

I think, probably, you could go around in circles worrying about the ‘best’ way to write this story forever if you’re not careful. The best way to write it is to put it on the page, and then worry about making it ‘good’ later. You can’t edit a blank page.

Sorry for the wait, I hope this helps.

[cherrypeaking]

hi baby~ 🥺🥺🩵 how’s my favorite cauliflower hater doing? 🤭

we’re having burgers for dinner tonight and i’ve been put on french fry duty since my parents don’t know how to use the air fryer. i’m sitting here wondering if my recent repulsion toward potatoes extends to fries…. at first i didn’t think this was possible seeing as my mom has crowned me the french fry queen since i was in elementary school but just this past weekend, my mom got me a small fry from my favorite fast food place and i couldn’t even finish them. could this be the end of my reign as THE french fry queen? has my crown finally tipped? have the potatoes finally won??? I CAN’T LET THE POTATOES WIN CHERRY, I JUST CAN’T

i went to the store and bought blackberries today along with some more strawberries :3 i love berries with yogurt so much omg 😩😩😩 i should be eating some with you right now 🥺 maybe we can share~ (mouth to mouth of course hehe 🤭)

i also got compliments on my berry bag while at the store today!! it’s my favorite purse ever but my mom hates it for some reason 😭😭 meanwhile i always get so many compliments on it when i’m out so i think she’s just being a hater 🙄 she was like “well at least you’re using the gift that was given to you” as if i didn’t buy this bag for myself years ago like huh?? 😭 i didn’t feel like correcting her so i just let her think that…

i’ve started listening to hurricane!! so far the songs i like from them are loco loco (the key change near the end is soooo good phewww), gori štkila (THE VOCALSSS), want ya (DON’T BE SAYIN THAT I DIDN’T DON’T BE SAYIN THAT I DIDN’T WANT YA 💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾), and hasta la vista (HASTA LA VISTA BABEYYY~ 💃🏾💃🏾) everything i’ve heard so far is so good! you really are a girly pop lover and i love that so much it’s so cute 🥹🥹🩵

🚨 UPDATE: after dinner i have come to the conclusion that my love for fries is unwavering, nothing could ever stop me from loving french fries!! my french fry queen crown will never fall from my head 😌

you know what else is unwavering? my love for you, my dear 🥺🩵 oh my cherry bear, you’re so so lovely, so beautiful so precious~ you’re my little sweetheart 🥺🥺🩵🩵 i love you so much!! i’m so so happy with you and so proud to be your girlfriend there’s no one else i could possibly give my heart to 🥺 i hope i make you feel as loved and heard and as beautiful and sexy as you make me feel, my love 🥺🩵🩵🩵

do it like that taehyun gives me big cookies and cream vibes so here’s an oreo inspired moodboard! 🖤🤍🖤

hoping today is kind to you baby 🥺 you always deserve the best no matter what! don’t let anyone or anything make you think otherwise! i love you so much, i’m always here for you!! <33

hmph >3< i’m sorry mommy i really don’t like cauliflower 😭😭😖 baby i’m still impacted by my school’s cafeteria… i just can feel the taste and i just 🤢 fhsjfndn i’m doing okay my love 🥹🩷 i hope you’re doing well~

oh no!! french fries are so good 🥺 i’m glad i read through it all and managed to see you’re actually still in love with them and that you’re still your french fry queen self my love 🥺🩷 eventually once your dad calms down with his baked potato ritual your like of potatoes will come back too >< 🩷🩷 i don’t know how to use the air fryer either 😖 would mommy teach me? 🥺🩷

waaaah blackberries in yoghurt that sounds amazing 🥹🩷 please mommy feed it to me~ (mouth to mouth~) while we enjoy it together 🥺🩷 my favorite berries are blueberries hehe~ and raspberries🤭🩷

your strawberry purse is the cutest i’ve ever seen my love!! 🥺😭🩷🩷 i want one like that too or something cute so that i can fit in more stuff than i can in my current purses…~ it’s weird that your mom doesn’t like it >< i’m glad people are complimenting you on it and prove her wrong :’) 🩷🩷

aaaaah my girls!! 🥹🥹 my favorite songs as of now are al capone, brzi prsti, ajde bre 🥺🩷🩷 but it always changes 🥹🩷 yes you can definitely tell i’m a girl poppie >< 🩷🩷 i’m happy you find it cute 🥺🥺 i find that you’re into slower songs than i am hehe~ we have a good balance 🥺🩷

i’m so happy to be your girlfriend mommy 🥺🥺🩷 like i’ve told you several times i wish i could just scream at the top of my lungs that i have a girlfriend and that it’s you and i wanna tell everyone our entire story of how we met and how we are doing i always wanna talk about you 🥺😭🩷🩷 i love you so much my precious 🥺🥺 you make me feel all these and more mommy i’m so glad i can make you feel this way because you deserve it and more!! 🥺🥺🩷 you’re my beautiful girlfriend 🥺😚🩷🩷

he does right?? i knew he reminded me of something!! 🥺 the moodboard looks delish~ 🤭🩷 but i think you are even more 🥺🥺🩷

thank you so much my love 🥹🩷 i hope to spend a better day today, if i don’t i’ll just wait for the weekend, as long as you’re with me i’ll be okay for sure 🥺🥺🩷 i hope you will sleep well and have a great day tomorrow my sweet crystal 🥺😚🩷💎🩵

[starmaniamania]

okay sorry for bothering you again and using the anonymous feature (i’m too shy to reveal my account, haha), but i just wanted to tell you a fun (?) story about my shitty french from back in the day and my weird misinterpretation of marie-jeanne.

around four or five years ago i had been learning french for only about a year, but i was really into it, so i made some good progress. at around the same time i listened to the “starmania” 1979 live album… i genuinely though manie-jeanne was an android. like in that video game where they are sentient and have feelings and stuff, but are still treated like shit… yeah, that’s what i thought marie-jeanne was for a while. and to me, that added to the whole futuristic aspect of the plot, but also it made me very uncomfy, until i learned what a metaphor was, haha. but that would have been an… interesting… dynamic, to say the least. it would kinda make some sort of sense in the context of what she sings, but i’m glad i was way off.

NO SORRIES, only starmania!!

So first of all this is a very understandable misunderstanding because even native French people I know have had that confusion upon hearing the song! It's a very fair assumption when you know the basic dystopia setup! In fact I couldn't swear that when I was only peripherically aware of Starmania I didn't think the same :p

But also second of all, upon reading the primer that I made a few months ago, another one of my friends totally came to the same conclusion!! So, you know, you are definitely not alone :p

(I am also glad everyone is wrong on this one!)

[savetooru]

the miracle of french pipes

for the past couple of years i've been incredibly transfixed by all the things rené magritte's 1929 painting the treachery of images manages to make me question just by fucking existing; but i've never put any of these thoughts out into the open because, like, when and where? it's less a fun conversation topic and more a spiral of awe and delight that makes me feel crazy and fucked up and glad to be alive and exactly the thing a blogpost is good for so. i mean. here we go. 1

to start off, the only thing you need to know is that ceci n'est pas une pipe is french for this is not a pipe. we'll cut to the painter himself for the rest of the basic rundown:

The famous pipe. How people reproached me for it! And yet, could you stuff my pipe? No, it's just a representation, is it not? So if I had written on my picture "This is a pipe", I'd have been lying! — René Magritte

it's not particularly hard to understand, but what really gets me is that the treachery is only really revealed through the very thing magritte pokes fun at. he basically cautions us about conflating an object with its image; but the same thing should apply to the text below it. the word 'pipe' isn't an actual pipe either, but merely a representation of it. does that make the whole piece a double negative? what right does a representation have to undermine another's authenticity? 2 (cue: coyote meets road runner. it is at this point the canvas goes KABOOM.) an attempt at a reasonable and valuable line of questioning: in a truly objective world, words and images are separate from their actual meaning— so what's the point of making art? of taking a thing and diluting it for other people's consumption so that it's the same but slightly off-kilter, merely an abstract-impressionist approximate of the proverbial real deal? 3 the best answer staring at a ceiling fan whirl can get you: well, the miracle of french pipes is that we don't live in a truly objective world. we accept and trust that other people will leap through rings of fire and prickly hurdles to grasp at our own humble straws. in fact, we're assured of it. we buy into the treachery ourselves. where there isn't meaning before, we fill in the gaps accordingly. see: mom leaves her dishes unwashed for once, so you massage her temples before she has to get up for work. a friend asks if you're busy so you make time you don't have for a call to check-in. you come across a painting of a pipe and you hate the thought of smoke but the veil lifts anyway. the illusion reveals its comedy. and i get you might be thinking— well, we all know this. cavemen knew this because why else would they carve pictures on the wall for us to dig up centuries later? it's the definition of fundamental. what the hell makes magritte so special? nothing! nothing, save for the fact he exposes the glamour. magic tends to lose its shine when you live and breathe it, you know? like, i knew we lived in a reality where wanting to make sense of each other was the default setting. we were always born to grasp at meaning. i just didn't appreciate that for what it was before. i imagine him sitting in a parisian café nearly a hundred years into the past giggling about this stupid painting he's sitting on, having no idea how hard it's gonna body-slam a twenty-three year old living out in the tropics with a lightness only previously observed in white women who have seen eat, pray, love. i laugh often about this— it's a great thought for when i'm feeling down.

1. if it wasn’t obvious yet, i know nothing about actual french pipes. this is not about them. i’m sorry. 2. for a painting that explicitly rejects meaning it is BURSTING AT THE GODDAMN SEAMS WITH IT. i wanna pull magritte aside just to be like bro what is wrong with you. bro you’ve got to stop. you think too much. your humor is too witty. your surrealism is too swag. they’ll kill you 3. your choice as to how you'd like to describe the umbrella of spoken words, texts actually sent, and communicative mimicry you've accumulated in life but imo it's all organic if it at any point lived in your head. gross, right. all the poets are like yeah nothing's original and that's fine. and it is, but implies what we do is regurgitate like birds at an unprecedented rate. like okay nature is beautiful BUT EWW!?!!?

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day.

Welcome to the working week although, for those of you working in the NHS, welcome to just another day.

Friday ran smoothly. Left Mum’s at about 12.30 and, by 3.00, I was back in Harlesden, carrying two bags of spare ribs and all the ingredients The Trouble needed for her secret BBQ sauce. I read and marked work until my son and The Mighty Josiah got home, and then we enjoyed our traditional Friday night Chinese feast. Still, my favourite day of the week! There’s something very weekend-y about Friday without the hours of the weekend slipping away.

Many thanks to everyone that listened to the show. If you missed it, yes, it’s available on Mixcloud. In the middle of the show, some geezer on my Twitter feed posted, “I’m sorry but if you ain’t listening to @LindsayWesker on @misoulradio there is something wrong with you. What a show!” Those kind of words make all the hours of preparation and organisation worthwhile.

The Trouble picked me up from the studio and we then had a short drive to our destination. So nice to spend quality time with some very cool people I don’t see very often! I think I should definitely see them more often! My buddy Drew Mensah was there, which means the level of the conversation was never far from bodily functions and the expulsion thereof! In fact, being with Drew is like being in a Carry On film and, at one point, I began laughing and I don’t think I’ve laughed as hard in ages. Certain physical activities are very good for your body and soul, and laughing is one of them!

The hostess had cooked-up some seriously delicious food and I really had to exercise some restraint, as I’d still be asleep on her couch! We left just before 11.00 because we didn’t want to get too tired, pull over and fall asleep in the car again!

Woke up on Sunday and it was a classic, Autumn day: cold but sunny! The local park was full of kids shrieking excitedly and having a right old time! While Josiah worked off some his energy, I just sat on a park bench and enjoyed the sun! What a treat in late October!

My team lost on Sunday but I’m not bothered. We can’t win every game. In fact, I don’t expect to win any game so, when we do, it’s a bonus. I feel sorry for Everton fans, though. They got a very raw deal and we got the same raw deal when we went to Anfield!

Still getting over a story I read last week about a woman who posted a positive experience about giving birth to her second daughter and got slaughtered by trolls. With the second birth, she used the ‘hypnobirthing’ method, where she was hypnotised to remain calm. She said she didn’t need to push and the baby “birthed herself”. She instantly received backlash from women who said her experience was “not representative”. So what? So what if she used an unconventional method? It worked for her. Leave her alone. It all comes back to some people’s obsessive need to change everyone to their point of view; if you don’t think like me and live like me, I’m going to give you a hard time. Vive la difference! As the French say. Me, personally, I don’t need to fit into your definition of normality. I don’t need you to be like me and I definitely don’t want to be like you!

Huge marches all round the world over the weekend. Football grounds full of flags and messages of support. Not that anyone would have known. Media coverage: pretty much non-existent; desperately (and disappointingly) towing the party line, trying to convince us that the genocidal thugs are “defending themselves.” Only the simple-minded still believe that!

Have a marvellous and momentous Monday. I love you all.