And darling, you need to be patient with yourself. The pain does not vanish overnight. You heal one day at a time, one step at a time. And maybe, just maybe, in six months from now, you will find yourself enjoying a day where the pain ceases to exist. Be gentle on yourself, allow the healing process to take place.
Excerpts from the book I’ll never write #411
09.04.2023
11:17 pm.
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I remeber looking at Nines official render art yesterday and than later omw to school off-handedly thinking, huh what if he put his hands just a bit higher and over his face, cause hed look just like Fischl lol
So I made him do just that
It would've been cool if it stopped at that, exept now I played genshin again after a while and as a very proud Fischl main and kinnie I couldn't restrain my brain and uh, my hands just took a tumble-
Flowers for princess Blaze
A little fox lives in a dystopian city riddled with tyranny, pollution, and abhorrent industrialization. Abandoned by their parents, and avoided and bullied by their peers for their outlandish interests in mechanics and an odd mutation, they hide away in the city's metro.
There's one small hope the fox clings to since the first days they could remember. Lying hidden and carefully protected within their burrow, there's a small set of fantasy books filled with peculiar writing, hard purple cover ragged at the edges, corners of the pages ripped and scratched up. Not because of mistreatment or carelessness but of constant use, the friction of the paper, and the brush of gloved fingers near daily. They do not know where they got these books from or how they exist in the first place, but they know its their last line of defense against the cruel world ouside.
Books were something unheard of in New Yoke city. Some elders would probably remember them as they apparently used to be a common place from the times way before, times unknown to the young fox, and only relayed in old abandoned picture frames or physical scripts like the ones in their possession.
Everything was now replaced with tablets, holograms, and palm-sized glass screens. And while it was compact, easy to read through, capable of finding any information allowed through by the Council's harsh censoring and simply carried around in one's pocket, it never brought the same blanket of comfort as holding a carefully relayed and glued together mesh of pages filled with endless possibilities of words that made no sense in the context of reality did.
At least not the one the little fox lived in.
They were smart and curious. They knew the hostilities of the world, It hated them for they were different. But hidden away in their little workshop beneath the ground, they found the world inside those books real. Logically they knew it wasn't. It were mere fantasies of days gone past and someone who perhaps had too many elusive substances to consume. But to a young imaginative mind, yearning for the smallest semblances of escape from the cruelness of reality, it began to seem real.
Logically they used to know it couldn't be, magic and ravens didn't exist, cats didn't have fire powers and the only authoritative titles were reserved for the heads of the Chaos Council. But ask the fox and they could recite you the complicated words and tongue-twisting names as if merely striking an everyday conversation. They would spent daydreaming for hours, playing with gadgets and fabric to recreate the magic described on those delicate pieces of paper and practice their peech and amnnerisms, and playing alone down in the subway tunnels.
As the years went on, they unknowingly got trapped in a small game of play pretend. Reasoning one day, that they were so different for they were not of this world, but an exiled royal of another dimension and locked away by their enemies in hopes of losing their power and never returning to salvage the world.
Logically they used to know no such things as alternative dimensions existed. Castles and dragons did neither. Yet a small fox abandoned by the world itself could dream. They merely had to regain their power and ascend back to their world to finally rid it of sin and fight, for a princess never surrenders her nobility and dreams.
They used to know it was just a storybook. But a lonely mind of an abused child looks for any escape possible to them. And sometimes, when there's no one to save them before it's too late, they get lost in their own fantasy.
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"How did you walk away from him? He was the one you loved more than life itself. What made you leave that love behind?" he asked, staring into her eyes, trying to piece together the puzzle of each piece of pain she ever felt. She wiped a tear with the back of her hands and turned away from him, her voice cracking as she was barely able to whisper "He hurt me, and he knew that he did. When I told him that he hurt me, he ignored it and disrespected my feelings. And Oh God, as much as I loved him, as much as I will always love him, I am not willing to settle for a life with a man who disrespects me, invalidates my feelings, and projects all of the bullshit from his past relationships on to me. I loved that man more than I have ever loved anyone and any thing. Perhaps, when I am 80 years old, I will still love him but I will never regret walking away to the love that I deserve. He was the love that I wanted, and I was the love that he did not deserve. His edges were too sharp, he was too broken and I... I was too vulnerable."
Excerpts from the book I’ll never write #412
12.09.2023
8:07 pm.
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“I’m Death 💀 ☠️-straight up-”
⚱️🪦⚰️
The Grim Reaper Herself in the Flesh:
Lucy but make her a nomadic cryptic urban legend myth shadowy lady with her antlers being her hair and covered in red spider Lillie’s for death representation
I was originally gotta make her a biblical accurate angelic creature like Kyle and Lady but I leaned more towards this cause I feel like she doesn’t want to draw attention to her self and blends into the background, wanting to be seen as more welcoming cause let’s face it no one wants to see an creature with multiple eyes watching your deathbed. (Though she has a form like that cause her life was cutted off and brutally dies-)
Plus imagine doing a night train and spotting this cloaked rotting corpse with gold dust eyes staring right at you from the forest- there’s a slight 50% percent change you might be next if your time is up-but it’s a good things she is actually very polite and sweet once you get to know her underneath her cold exterior even if a majority dislike her (especially towards children and animals) if you’re not Alfred or Godred….
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