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13uswntimagines · 4 years

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Where Do I Fit? (Preath x Little!Reader)

Request: angsty little!reader with Tobin, where Tobin was rs caretaking fir way before Christen(like since college?) and they tell Christen but she isnt okay with it at first but accepts it by gettung r stuffies to apologise?

“It’s not like that Chris,” Tobin sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. Her elbows rested on her knees. The two of you had been trying to explain this for a better part of an hour, and Christen still didn’t understand.

“Then tell me what it’s like Tobin, because from what you’ve said it sounds like your adult friend pretends to be a toddler, and you give her baths and feed her bottles. Do I need to continue? It’s some kinky shit-...” Christen said exasperated, frustratedly running fingers through her hair. How Tobin thought she would be ok with this? She was at a loss for words.

Tobin shook her head, blinking up at her girlfriend “It’s not sexual Christen. It just-“

“What, makes you feel good?” Christen spat, crossing her arms defensively across her chest.

“Helps me deal with stress and anxiety, in a more positive way,” you mumbled, shifting anxiously on the couch next to Tobin, shivering at the glare Christen sent your way. You weren’t in love with Tobin, actually, you had a girlfriend of your own (who also happened to be little). Tobin was your safety blanket, and you just wished Christen could understand.

****

Tobin had been your mama since college. An arrangement that had been made after she found you curled up under your dorm room bed, so stressed you didn’t know what day it was much less what stuff you had to get done. Instead of running away, she had pulled you into her arms and rocked you until you were done crying.

After a little research and some explaining about why you regressed and how long it had been happening on your end, Tobin wholeheartedly embraced the role of Mama. And together you became more comfortable. She made you bottles and helped you keep track of school and soccer. As your best friend she decided it was her duty to protect you, and you were too fucking adorable when you were little to pass up.

Then your Mama started dating Christen, and after a few months of them being serious, it was decided that you had to tell Chris. That you could propose that she join in your little arrangement. You got along well with the woman, and she was pretty nurturing to you anyway (especially at national team camps) making sure you ate and didn’t stay up at all hours of the night with your girlfriend and the youngins.

****

Christen paused mid-pace, turning to look her girlfriend in the eye. “I don’t know how I feel about having a third person in our relationship Tobin,” She said calmly, crossing her arms.

“Baby, I promise you it’s not like that. Y/n may be my baby girl, but I’m not romantically attracted to her. She’s my best friend, and this helps her,” Tobin pleaded, begging for the woman she loved to understand. She didn’t want to lose her and she didn’t want to lose her baby girl. You were a very sensitive little, absolutely petrified of her getting bored and abandoning you one day. She had made so many promises, and she couldn’t bear the thought that she might have to break them.

“So what, she’ll call you whenever she’s little and you’ll just fucking drop everything to go ‘help’ her?” Christen’s eyebrow quirked up.

You frowned. You had been hoping that this conversation would end in you having another mommy, so technically you would be calling them, and you were always mindful of overstaying your welcome.

“I wouldn’t abuse that,” You huffed.

“But you can’t control when you're little or whatever right? As long as you’re involved in this thing, she will always come first, and that’s not a healthy relationship,” Christen asked viciously, turning her attention to you for the first time. You sunk into the couch, fighting the natural descent into little space that came with such looks. With looks only Moms could muster.

You opened your mouth to respond, only for Tobin to jump in first. “Babe, we’ll figure it out. I was act-”

“Well then, I’ll be back when you figure your priorities out,” Christen scoffed, grabbing her keys and her purse and slamming the door behind her.

Heavy silence stretched across Tobin’s apartment, both of you staring at the door.

You hadn’t been expecting things to be rainbows and butterflies, but you didn’t think it was going to come down to an ultimatum. Little you or the love of Tobin’s life. It wasn’t a fair choice, but you knew exactly what needed to be done, no matter how much it hurt.

“I was afraid that would happen,” You sighed, staring at the door, gulping to try and stay big. Trying to force yourself to hold back the painful emotions that were rattling in your chest. Someone had to be the mature one. The realistic one.

“Y/n,” Tobin said softly, her voice ruff with unushered tears.

You shook your head, patting her knee, but never looking in her direction. If you did you wouldn’t be able to hold yourself together anymore. You wouldn’t be able to do what needed to be done. You had promised yourself that you would never get in the way of her love life, and you were about to follow through on that. “It’s fine Tobin. I understand,”

“I love her,” Tobin said, sniffling, and you felt a little piece of your heart crack. Didn't Tobin love little you too? Just not enough. You swallowed hard, again pushing those feelings down. This wasn’t about you, and Tobin deserved to be happy.

“I know. Go after her, I know how to let myself out. I’ll go to Lindsey’s and text the group chat to see if anyone wants another little,” You shrugged. Lindsey could handle you and your girlfriend for the night, and the group chat was sure to be able to give you good advice, at least until you figured this whole thing out. They hadn’t let you down yet.

Tobin made a strangled sound at the mention of the group chat. At the idea that one of her friends could ever replace her as your mama. She knew that it was the logical next step (you and little Em were a handful on your own, together you were little terrors), but she couldn’t help the little twinge in her heart.

“I’m sorry,” She said, bringing her hand over yours and squeezing tightly. She hoped it could convey how badly she felt about this whole situation. She never thought Christen would react so badly.

You bit your lip, avoiding looking at your mama. “Don’t be. You were the best Mama ever. Now go,” You mumbled, kissing the back of her hand and shooing her towards the door. She didn’t even spare a glance in your direction as she left.

You stood from the couch, walking to the guest room that always served as your nursery. You collected your little things bag, Roary (you could never leave him behind), and your Batman blanket before heading towards the door. You paused in the doorway, turning to glance over the room one more time, allowing yourself to reminisce for just a second. How you wished this night had gone differently. You sighed, shaking your head and closing the door behind you. You would find a new caregiver, but Tobin would always be your mama.

****

You were miserable. Completely, totally and utterly miserable. Hovering somewhere between adult you and little you, curled up in the corner of Lindsey’s couch, staring listlessly into space. Even your girlfriend cuddled into your side, running race cars gently over your legs couldn't cheer you up, and Lindsey was starting to get worried.

“I don’t know what else to do, short of calling Tobin,” Lindsey said quietly, watching you from where her and Kelley were hovering by the door. It was one thing handling her little handful, and a complete other trying to take in both of you at the same time. She didn’t even know where to begin with you, hence why she called in reinforcements.

You had known Kelley and Alex for almost as long as you had known Tobin. You trusted them, and if anyone could get you out of your funk, your aunt Kelley could.

“You tried pudding?” Kelley asked, biting her lip. You were curled into the couch, Emily cuddled into your side, sending glances every now and then towards the stuffed triceratops you had left on the other couch. Pudding was little you’s favorite cheat food, and if that didn’t work she wasn’t sure what to do next. By now the entire team was aware of what was going on between you and Tobin, and none of them were surprised that little you wasn’t taking it so well.

“And ice cream, and hot pretzels and Mac and cheese. I even tried warm milk,” Lindsey nodded. She had seen you upset before, but never this bad. She was literally at her wits end, and Emily wasn’t even being her normally bratty self.

“Damn,” Kelley sighed, rubbing the back of her neck anxiously. How Tobin was going to fix this mess she didn’t know and how she was going to aid your obviously miserable self she wasn’t sure either.

“Yeah, and she forbade me from calling Tobs,” Lindsey mumbled, patting Kelley’s shoulder. Kelley was known to have a magic touch with littles, but Lindsey was skeptical anyone besides your mama could pull you from this funk.

“From the text she sent the group chat I’m not surprised. I’ll see what I can do,” Kelley nodded, shooing Lindsey towards the kitchen to heat up some Mac and cheese. She would get you to eat something even if it killed her.

She slowly made her way over to you, gently patting Emily’s shin when she was close enough. “Hey Emmy, your mama wants to see you in the kitchen please,”

The blond little blinked up at her, big Emily suddenly very present in her eyes. She didn’t like how much pain you were in, but you both trusted Kelley. The two stared at each other for a moment, before Emily nodded once, seemingly satisfied that Kelley would help.

Emily leaned up and kissed your cheek before toddling off towards the kitchen. Maybe mama would get her a cookie.

Kelley took her spot, watching you carefully, as though you were a puzzle she was trying to solve. “How you holding up bug?”

You shrugged in response, tucking your legs tighter underneath you and crossing your arms.

“Not too good then huh?” Kelley filled in, scooting a little bit closer to you, taking a breath of relief when you didn’t curl into an impossibly tighter ball.

You nodded once. While big you understood why Tobin couldn’t be your mama, little you was devastated that she had chosen someone over you. That she didn’t love you anymore (big you knew this was just as hard for her).

Kelley’s eyebrows furrowed. You usually hovered around 2 and a half or three when you were little, but this version of you was far smaller. Small enough for you to go nonverbal. The only person to see you this small was Tobin, and as far as Kelley knew the last time this had happened you were still in college.

“Well, I don’t know about you, but Roary was telling me that his tummy was hurting. Does your tummy hurt?” She asked you softly, holding up your favorite stuffed triceratops and wiggling him in front of your face.

You shrugged again. Yeah your tummy was a little grumbly, but you were sad and all you wanted was for mama to scoop you up, but she couldn’t.

“I know you’re upset bug, but not eating isn’t going to make you or Roary feel better, ok? Aunt Lindsey made Mac and cheese and it’ll warm you up ok?” she tried again, nudging your cheek with Roary’s nose. You bit your lip in thought. You did love Mac and cheese, and you didn’t want Roary to turn into a grumpasaurus.

“Otay,” you mumbled, reaching for the defender (who despite her short stature was still an inch taller than you). She smiled tightly at you, handing you your stuffed Dino and picking you up to head towards the kitchen. At least they were getting you to eat.

*****

Christen sighed from her place on the couch next to Tobin, glaring at the cellphone that had gotten far more attention than she had tonight. All she wanted was a date night with her girlfriend, and Tobin had spent the whole thing glued to her phone, nervously biting her lip.

“Alright, who have you been texting all night?” Christen asked, pulling away from Tobin and wrapping the blanket tighter around her.

The midfielder turned forward blinked and sat back to look carefully at her girlfriend. “Lindsey,” Tobin said, biting her lip.

Christen’s eyebrows furrowed. “What’s up with Linds?”

Tobin sighed. “Y/n went to stay with her until preseason starts. Emily’s there too and she wanted to hang out with her girlfriend,”

“So what, why has Lindsey been texting you?” Christen asked. She was usually good at following Tobin’s train of thought, but she was lost.

Tobin sighed again, shaking her head. “Y/n is having a really hard time, and I know you think it’s just some weird kink or something, but little Y/n doesn’t understand what’s happening. She doesn’t know what she did wrong and Lindsey needs some advice on how to handle her,”

Christen’s back straightened immediately at the mention of your name. She thought she had made her opinion clear. “How can you say that like Y/n is two people. Like she isn’t manipulating you into doing what she wants?” Christen said, throwing her hands up in exasperation.

Tobin took a deep breath trying to figure out how to explain it. How to make her girlfriend understand that it was so much more than you pretending to be a kid for a little while. “Y/n isn’t two people, and she isn’t manipulating me. That’s evident considering she forbade Lindsey from calling me,” Tobin started calmly, picking at a stray thread on her pants. She opened and closed her mouth several times, trying to find the right words to explain it. “It’s not a sexual thing for her. It’s about trust. When y/n is little she doesn’t have to worry about everyday things, she can trust that I’ll take care of her. That no matter what happens, someone will be there to protect her. That no one will abandon her…” her voice cracked.

That’s exactly what she had done, isn’t it? Abandoned her best friend?.

Christen pulled her into a hug, letting her sob into her shoulder. It was hard to see Tobin this upset, even if she didn’t fully understand why.

“My relationship with her isn’t like the one I have with you. She loves Emily,” The words were muffled by Christen’s shoulder, but the forward heard them loud and clear.

Her eyebrows furrowed. She had done some research after Tobin had initially told her, but this was turning out to be way more complicated than the online forum suggested. If Emily was involved too, and you were dating her, then why did you need Tobin?

“Why can’t Emily be her mama?” She asked softly, honestly trying to understand this mess.

Tobin leaned back, wiping her eyes.

“Cause Emily’s little too and that would be dangerous. Lindsey takes care of Em like I take care of Y/n,”

Christen nodded as she took in the information. That made sense. If you couldn’t necessarily control being little, then it was possible you would both slip at the same time (or one could trigger the other). That did seem like a pretty bad idea for a long term solution.

But if Lindsey was there, then what was the problem?

“I just don’t understand how I fit into this whole thing,” Christen said after a few minutes, finally looking Tobin in the eyes, searching for the answer.

“You don’t have to deal with her when she’s little if you don’t want to. I just didn’t want to hide it from you,” Tobin shrugged, running a hand through her hair (the weight on her chest lifting just a bit now that Christen actually seemed to be willing to talk about this).

“If she’s here, I’m not just going to ignore her,” Christen scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest. Tobin’s lips ticked up just a bit. She wasn’t sure if Christen realized she had basically said you were going to be around, but Tobin was pleased with the new development. Maybe Christen just needed to logic it out a little bit more to become more open to the idea, but she wasn’t going to force her into something she wasn’t comfortable with.

“It’s still the Y/n you know, just a little bit more carefree. A little more silly and cuddly. You don’t have to be around her, but if you wanted to… she was gonna ask if you wanted to see what being a caretaker with me was like,” She said, leaning in and nudging under Christen’s chin with her nose.

Christen frowned, pouting a little, the real reason she had been so against the idea initially finally rolling from her lips. “She wasn’t trying to take you away from me-“

Tobin was shaking her head before Christen even finished her sentence. “No, she was trying to include you,”

You had been open to the idea of being little around Christen (hesitant, but open especially if it meant including the woman your mama was head over heels for.

The silence stretched between them for a few long seconds, broken only by Christen’s sigh.

“I fucked up,” She mumbled, pinching the space between her eyes, completely missing Tobin’s blinding smile.

“We fucked up, now let’s go fix it,” Tobin said, kissing her girlfriend’s cheeks and standing, extending her hand for the woman to take. They would make this right together.

*****

Kelley would say that you were tolerating dinner. You were reluctantly opening your mouth for the airplanes of Mac and Cheese she was sending your way, glancing longingly at Roary (who was eating his carrots in his very own seat across from you).

Lindsey had gotten up a few minutes ago to answer the door but had yet to return. That was why you were taking turns having Kelley feed you bites of dinner with Emmy.

Kelley lifted the next bite up to your lips, but you pulled your head away. “No tank you,”

Kelley sighed, leaning forward to make eye contact with you. “Baby, you’ve only had two bites. You need to eat a little more for me please,”

You rapidly shook your head, tears welling up in your eyes. You didn’t want to eat the stupid Mac and cheese. You wanted your mama to love you again, but she was off loving Christen.

“It otay, I eat Mac for you,” Emily said, patting your arm and placing a very sloppy kiss on your cheek. She didn’t like it when you were upset, and if she got more Mac and cheese out of it, then that was fine with her too.

Kelley glared at the younger defender. You didn’t need any more encouragement to not eat, especially when you were this fussy. “I don’t think it works like that Em”

She looked back into your direction(ignoring your girlfriend’s pout), making her voice soft and sympathetic “Come on Y/n, 5 more bites please,”

You whined loudly, shaking your head rapidly and kicking your feet a little in displeasure. The tears were now falling heavily down your very red face. “No want it!!”

“Alright bug,” Kelley murmured, pulling you into her lap, and letting you cry it out. You buried your face in her shoulder, heartbreaking sobs wracking through you. Kelley rubbed circles into your back, and carded her fingers through your hair, trying to soothe you. When that didn’t work, she carefully transferred you into a very familiar lap.

*****

You clung to Tobin as though your life depended on it, fisting her sweatshirt like you thought she would disappear at any second. You probably thought she would, Christen noted.

It was truly a pitiful sight so see, and each little sob from your lips was like a knife in Christen’s chest. She hadn’t known what to expect when Lindsey said you were taking it hard, but it most certainly wasn’t this. It made her apology gift seem incredibly inadequate.

“No babydoll, I’m never leaving you again. I promise,” Tobin said into your hair, rocking you to try and ease the wave of tears streaming down your cheeks.

“But you wove Christen,” You said, though your voice was muffled by Tobin’s shoulder and your tears, Christen heard the words loud and clear. She shared a look with Tobin over your head, and she knew that she was the only one who could fix this mess.

She knelt down next to you, carefully rubbing your back, encouraging you to look at her. You obliged, rubbing your bloodshot eyes as you pulled away from Tobin.

“Tobin can love both of us darling, and I see that now. I’m sorry that I couldn’t see that before, but if you’re willing, I’d like to try helping your mama take care of you when you’re little,” She said softly.

“No make me go bye bye?” You asked, sniffling.

“No little one,” Christen reassured, bringing her thumb up to while away a stray tear. “No I brought a friend, but they don’t have a name yet. Do you think you can help me out?” She said, holding up the stuffed dragon they had picked up for you as an apology.

You gently grabbed the purple stuffie, holding him very close to your nose, and examining him carefully. “Spike wants ta know if we go home?” You said after a few seconds, poking your tongue out the side of your mouth. Christen and Tobin laughed lightly at your expression.

“Yeah, let’s go home,”

#uswnt imagine #uswnt imagines #uswnt x reader #preath x reader #preath imagine

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angelthebedsheet · 4 years

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Can you do a zuko x male reader or gender neutral. It could be about the reader witnessing the agni Kai and watching zuko get banished. The reader tries to go with zuko but zuko doesn’t want the reader to get hurt. Years later they meet at the boiling rock. You can take it from there. I love your writings and I’ll keep supporting you 💕

a/n: oooooh! thank you anonnie!! i appreciate your requests!!!

lets get it!

okay so you and zuko were TURTLEDUCK BUDDIES

attached to the hip basically

azula HATED how close you two were bc hello she’s right here???

i mean you and zuko trained together

fed ducks together

best buds

you knew you liked zuko alot but you didn’t understand?

like you started to get flustered around him

same with zuko

and azula was PLOTTING NOW

she doing a think rn with one of her BRILLIANT ideas 😐

“oh n/n! zuzu! come play a game with us!”

zuko’s flight or fight reflexes are triggered and he’s ready to DIP

but you r unfortunately intrigued

“oh okay ‘zula! cmon zu!”

cue azula’s smug lil grin

she puts an apple on your head and makes you stand in front of the fountain

you’re like ???? is this the game?

azula’s like it is n/n it’ll be fine

it was NOT fine

she damn near burnt you to a crisp if it wasnt for zuko tackling you into the fountain

now azula, ty lee and mai are LAUGHIN

but we all know mai lwk a lil jelly

you and zuko are embarrassed as fuck

you both are soaked and he’s hovering over you

mr zuzu looking real pretty

he just turns red and pulls you up before running away

zuko is like ???? boys are cute especially this one???

you two still remained close after this incident

two lil gays boys who are trying to not crush on e/o

(im sorry the only thing i can think about when i think of zuko is his gay ass lil scream in the prototype pilot episode)

(nigga said wwAHHH)

anyways

azula teased you about zuko speaking out against a general and their dad is angry and you’re like oh shit

suddenly you arent allowed to visit zuko anymore

and you’re like wtf no no let me in

the guards said no

you’re so paranoid too

is he okay?

what fully happened?

soon the agni kai is announced to happen

and you are seated next to iroh and azula

you’re clutching onto your pants as you watch zuko walk into the arena

you really dont want him to get hurt

your eyes widened as you watched zuko’s father walk into the arena and your heart drops

zuko is clearly surprised and frightened

tears are rolling down your cheeks bc you are so so so scared for him

iroh covers your eyes as he looks away when zuko got burned and you could feel your heart break as you listened to his cries of pain

you cried out as iroh pulled you into a hug

you and iroh immediately rushed to the infirmary to get to zuko

you push past those guards and nurses bc you are on a MISSION

aint nobody getting in your way like this bc you will STOMP they asses out

you are not leaving his side

“z-zu are you okay? can you hear me?”

“m-m/n? where are you? i cant see”

zuko is starting to panic due to the fact his left eye is patched close

you hold his hand “i’m right here zu. shh im here”

he’s so overwhelmed too poor baby

“u-uncle? w-where is he?”

“right here zuko.”

you help him sit up and he grabs a mirror immediately

he frowns at his reflection

“you’re still handsome zuko.” you said

iroh pretended to not see that blush that sat on zuko’s cheeks

“i-i’ve been banished, m/n.”

“what?”

“i’m banished from here. the only way i can come back is if i capture the avatar.”

“but he’s been gone for years zuko! let me come with you”

“no! it’ll be too dangerous”

“how? we trained together! grew up together? how is it too dangerous?”

“no m/n! i dont want to lose you!”

“you wont lose me zuko.”

“you dont know that. you arent coming with me.”

you and him went back and forth

after he shaved his hair and was about to board his boat you pulled him away

then you confessed right then and there

i mean you didnt know when you’ll see him again

“i like you zuko. more than a friend”

“what?”

“i like you.”

“are you for real? this isnt a joke right? like azula didn’t put you up to this?”

“no she didnt.”

“oh thank the spirits. i like you too.”

and yall have this lil awkward ass kiss

just a short lil peck?

i mean yall are 12/13 and two boys you think they gonna go all out tonguing niggas? lmao

you two hug before iroh calls him over

“i’ll wait for you zuko”

“i’ll try my best.”

and he’s gone

over the years zuko was gone he was so sad

“if i capture the avatar i can come back to the fire nation and m/n”

but clearly the whole LeMmE cAtCh tHe AvAtAr thing was dropped when he got that glow up

(neya said 🦋🦋🦋🦋 whenever they look at zuko cmon NOW.)

now they’re otw to boiling rock

“my first girlfriend turned into the moon.”

“that’s rough buddy.”

and sokka’s like you ever dated someone before?

zuko’s like..... two people?

“that knife throwing girl?”

“her and m/n. though we never got to date bc at the time i was literally banished. i miss him alot though.”

bi king ✨

“what if he’s at the boiling rock?”

“then i’ll find him.”

sokka’s like yes my man get your MANS

“okay so we look for my dad, suki and your husband”

“he’s not my husband sokka.”

“..... my dad, suki and your husband”

“omfg shut your trap.”

these pair of himbos finally get inside and are on a MISSION

sokka’s like heheheeh suki time

KAJDJAJDJJSKDJF

zuko’s hopeful that you’re here or at least alive

after sokka and suki have their lil reunion zuko wanders off and asks around

“do you have a prisoner by the name of m/n?”

“why do you ask, newbie?”

“uhhh the warden sent me to him.”

“oh. there.” pointing to a door

zuko has to CONTAIN the excitement and nods before speed walking off

he throws open that door so quickly

you on the other hand is ready to rumble “i TOLD YOU I DONT FUCKING HAVE IT”

zuko just closes the door behind him and takes off his helmet

you’re like hol up wait wait zuko????

and he nods with a big ol grin on his face

you just hug him so fucking tight

maybe there were some tears shed

you pick him up and twirl him around

zuko’s like holy SHIT

and you pull back to just look at him

“you’re still as handsome as i remember you, zu.”

“so are you, n/n...”

he’s just so awestruck

the person he has been looking forward to seeing for 3/4 years is right infront of him

yall just kiss

sokka now gotta pull a zuko and bang on that door

“yALL DOING THINGS IN THERE??? HURRY UP”

“shut UP sokka”

zuko puts his helmet back on and grabs your hand

yall finally dip and are otw tf outta there

“oh shit zuko he’s cute”

“back off”

“im happy with suki relax sir”

zuko is clingy and was hugging you the whole time

not that you minded bc you missed him dearly

when yall got back and he introduces you

the group minus toph is like “ZUKO’S GAY????”

toph is like “I FUCKING CALLED IT”

alls well

except for the fact zuko wouldnt let you go anywhere by yourself

#atla zuko #prince zuko #sokka would clown zuko 100%#zuko x reader #zuko x male reader #zuko x black reader #atla x black reader #atla x reader #avatar the last airbender x reader #avatar the last airbender

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junova · 4 years

Text

never been in love — single dad!steve (headcannon)

pairing: single dad!steve x teacher!reader

abstract: the one where steve likes you a lot and his daughter does too.

warnings: it gets a lil smutty towards the end (18+) not really tho, this is so much longer than i intended jfc, bucky being kind of a dick, hint of daddy kink, cheating?

[a/n]: this was totally inspired by @marvelouspeterparker post. i read it and it pulled me out of my writers block so thank u ! also this is so unnecessarily long but i have no excuse other than im a hoe for steve rogers??

*** gif isnt mine — i forgot creds srry :/

-ˋˏ ༻✿༺ ˎˊ-

oh god this one is going to hUrt me

but can you just imagine when steve really gets to see you, not just in passing as he picks up his daughter

he nearly shits himself because how in the hell had he not noticed you before?

one any given day, he’s right on time to pick up shai

he’s always punctual

— until today

not only was he late, but he was an hour late and in his mess of mind he was fully convinced they’d never let him bring her to the school again

to make matters even worse his phone had died and his cable was nowhere to be found in his dying, old pick up truck

not to mention his sweet little angel, more than likely frightened out of her mind

— but he was so wrong

practically in a full sprint, he quickly made his way to shai’s classroom when he found her perfectly peaceful while she talked with her teacher

even though, she was facing him and could see him she paid him no mind. it didn’t faze her that her father was so late because you had stayed to keep her company

“well, it looks like he finally decided to show up.” shai spoke to you, loud enough so her father in the doorway could her. the edge in her tone pushing sassy all the way through

of course as soon as shai found her way in steve’s arms he profusely apologized and graciously thanked you for staying with her saying he would repay you for it

— and it definitely had nothing to do with how attracted steve was to you. nope. not at all

you dismissed his gesture, it was a delight to be with shai and you told him such but you had a feeling he wouldn’t let it go

— and he didn’t

the very next day, when he dropped shai off and handed you a dozen pastries he had made fresh this morning

the way you gushed over it, cheekbones high and happy over his kindness made steve’s heart swell

they were still warm and you just couldn’t believe he made these with his bare hands

it was easily the kindest gift anyone ever gave you and you told him that too before you could stop yourself

then he just started bringing you a pastry or two every other day, even if you’d refused them the next day he would bring double the amount he brought the day before

you stopped refusing him bc you already felt guilt since he wouldn’t let you pay for a single one

after two weeks, steve asked you out. you weren’t shocked he had, he had been buttering you up but no matter how charming you thought he was you couldn’t.

he was a parent of one of your students and you just couldn’t allow yourself to go there

it wasn’t necessarily against the rules, but it was frowned upon

accepting your rejection with grace and humility he grabbed shai before bidding you goodbye that day

you thought that was the end of it, until you saw him the following friday night at the bar you frequented at

— alone

you wanted to talk to him, the tequila in your system giving you an irresistible urge to but you were on a date with on of your friends’ coworkers

james buchanan barnes

he definitely was a smooth taker, those dazzling blue eyes sparkling like they knew something you didn’t

you really wanted to be interested, he was a loose shape of a man you’d dream about. maybe you could even pretend he was the one you really wanted

not when steve was sitting at the bar, alone.

but you left that thought behind and you convinced yourself you really were smitten with bucky

two weeks later, bucky and you had been on a few dates and he seemed to like you but you knew you had to end things.

whatever little fling you had going on

your heart got more of kick when steve used to bring you pastries in the morning before class than when bucky kissed you after your first date.

then he asked if you would come to his house, he was having a small get together and would love if you’d be there

— reluctantly, you went

bucky’s friends were nice, each one of them making you feel welcomed into their tight circle.

it turned into a better night than you thought and bucky seemed to be super touchy, guiding you onto his lap as you sat around the fire in his patio

natasha, bucky’s long friend since high school, had you all in fits on the stories from the past

everyone was too busy reeling to recognize his presence but you had the to be blind not to

there steve stood gaping at you’d like you were a ghost, certainly surprised to see you perched on bucky’s lap

yep you wanted to just crawl under a whole a stay there forever

“Glad to see you showed up, punk.” Bucky gesturing for him to make his way over to you, even when you pulled at the sleeve of his henley to stop him.

— of course your efforts to tame bucky in did nothing

he grabbed a cold one before making his way to the two of you

and dear god was it as awkward as ever

“Honey, this is my best friend, Steve.” Honey? He had never called you anything besides your name. By the way he pulled you even closer to him made you think there was something else entirely going on.

you certainly didn’t miss the way steve’s jaw clenched or as he held his right hand picking at the piece of bark rather aggressively

“Um, we actually know each other. Shai is in my class, actually.” Feeling rather suffocated by the weight of Bucky’s arms now that the man you felt too much for was here. “Really? I had no idea.”

steve’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head, infuriated. it wasn’t just that bucky knew you were shai’s teacher but he knew just how much steve liked you.

he didn’t shut up about you since he you with his daughter — something inside him changing in an instance

it wasn’t just that he thought you were the most wonderful woman he’d me — shai also raved over you

shai’s mother leaving a gaping whole in her heart she didn’t quite understand at the age of five was filled by you

you were kind to her, your patience never wearing thin as you gave her the attention she deserved

it may be your job but you enjoyed every moment with her and steve noticed

“Oh? She’s the one you would wake up an hour early for to make the pastries?” Bucky blurted out.

he woke up an early just to make those for you?

the way steve looked at the ground, grinding his fingertip against the label of his beer made you want to cry. his neck flaring pink at the embarrassment only made you wish you were in his arm instead

— even more than you already did

“You really should have seen the smile on his face when he came back from the school gushing over how much you liked what he had made.”

Bucky tightened his arm around your waist before saying. “Or when you reject him, I still can’t decide which is better.”

“That’s enough, James.” You tone harsh, before you ripped yourself away.

you couldn’t even look at steve, you don’t think your heart could handle it so you practically sprinted to your car

you needed to get the fuck out of here

until you reached for you keys, but they weren’t in your pocket

“Looking for these?” His hands looping through your keys giving it a twirl. “Star Wars fan?” Steve gesturing to you baby yoda key chain. “Maybe just a tad.”

“Thank you, Steve.” He tried to ignore the jump you ignited in his heart whenever you said his name.

handing your keys, he turned away from you, heading back into the house until you yanked him forward

the force so strong he though he was going to body slam into you before he pushing his weight against the car.....and you

“I’m sorry about, Bucky. I never would have gone out with him if I knew you two were friends.” You admitted while Steve just stood there looking embarrassed.

god did you always have to ruin everything

“I-I just, um, have these feelings for you. These very complicated feelings that make me want to throw every morally sound thought I have to the wind.”

“Which thought did you want to get rid of right now?” Stepping outside of his comfort zone, Steve grabbed your hands and just on instinct alone you cradled his face like it was the most natural act in the world. Like you had done it a thousand times.

“I mean, for one I’m telling myself I shouldn’t be this close to you.” Steve taking you by surprise as he tilted his head to the side, kissing the palm of your hand.

did he really just-

“What else, sweet girl?”

oh, you really were a goner

“I don’t know.” You spoke softly. Admitting to not only him but yourself — you couldn’t think when he was this close to you.

“Oh, but I think you do.” Steve diving right in as he latched his plump lips to your neck. Making whispers of his name drip off your tongue.

before you register what was happening steve had you pressed up against the car, rough hands gripping your thighs as your legs clinged to his slim waist

not to mention the ratio from his broad shoulders to his hips had your pussy drowning more

making you forget why you’d ever rejected him in the first place and he had hardly even touched you yet

then his lips met yours and you knew he had ruined you for anyone else. no one would ever compare to him and not anyone from your past did.

“Holy shit.” You whispered, completely in awe of what Steve was capable of doing to you in a matter of seconds. The proud smirk he wore in great contrast to what he felt back by the fire when he saw your body entangled with Bucky.

“If I ever see you sitting on my best friend’s lap again, I will go fucking crazy. Do you understand?” Steve eyes burning with envy.

“Yes, Daddy.”

brb gonna cry that i don’t have my very own steve rogers rip

-ˋˏ ༻✿༺ ˎˊ-

tags: @tonystankschild @parkastoria @kayteewritessteve

#bc i’m too lazy to actually write this out #maybe one day 🧐👀#steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers smut #steve rogers hc #steve rogers headcanon #singe dad!steve #steve rogers au #maritza writes

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thepictureofsdr-archive · 4 years

Text

this may be a very unpopular opinion but am i the only one that doesn’t completely like anna? like yes she’s a badass and all, and the way she spoke to matthew in those letters made me fall a little bit in love, but the way she treated the ariadne situation has just left a sour taste in my mouth that hasn’t gone away.

ariadne was put in an EXTREMELY difficult situation and made the best decision she could, the decision that would make as many people as possible happy and keep the peace and anna almost acts like it was a personal slight against her? (that’s an exaggeration but still) like if you’re so heartbroken imagine being the person who had to MAKE THAT DECISION. to this day anna gets to go back to her supportive family and her life of being with who she wants while ariadne is stuck w an unsupportive family, still pretending to be straight, so ariadne has gotten the short end of the stick in literally every aspect of this debacle.

anna didn’t get the girl so she decided the best course of action was to sleep with a bunch of girls and turn them away with THE INTENTION of breaking their hearts as “a favour” because “love isn’t real.” (just to be 100% clear my issue isnt w the one night stands, as long as there’s mutual consent do what you want, im just uncomfortable with the intentional heart breaking) that’s not a decision you get to make for these girls, and in my opinion it’s kinda childish and pathetic. she’s acting like romance is dead because the girl she liked had to make a ridiculously hard decision in an extremley difficult situation. ariadne expressly stated that it hurt her to make that decision and that she wanted to be w anna, so it wasn’t even a scenario in which anna was hurt from not being loved. it just feels like anna is making all of this about her when the other person in the relationship went through hell because of this scenario and is still deeply unhappy because of the choice she had to make.

maybe im just seeing it from a different viewpoint but if someone i loved was put into a situation like that, a situation that genuinley pained them, i feel like id want to be there for them and help them through it even if we couldnt be together, not leave and make them feel bad for the decision to the point where they feel they have to APOLOGIZE TO ME? having ariadne apologize for making a choice to save her situation gives me the same vibes as having alastair apologizing and not getting one from the thieves.

if anyone disagrees pls reply or something i havent seen many critques ab anna and i know we all adore ariadne so im very curious as to people think ab this, maybe i interpreted it different to others im v interested.

#anna lightwood #Ariadne Bridgestock #the last hours #tlh #arianna #chain of gold #chain of thorns #Chain of Iron #tid #the infernal devices #the shadowhunter chronicles #tsc #alastair carstairs #thomas lightwood #christopher lightwood #james herondale #lucie herondale #Cordelia Carstairs #Matthew Fairchild

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pacific-rimbaud · 4 years

Note

27 - panville (lets pretend its after their wedding) (lets also pretend this isnt me trying to extend bright objects epilogue in every way I can) (but just because you are the real queen of this ship)

Drabble #27: “I’m pregnant.”

by PacificRimbaud

Pairing: Pansy Parkinson x Neville Longbottom

Tags: WWII AU, unplanned pregnancy, hospital, brief mentions of war

Wiltshire, May 1944

“I’ve had a letter.”

Lavender’s voice dipped to a conspiratorial low, as though a letter was a secret Pansy both had an interest in and ought to be party to.

“From which one?”

Pansy shut off all attention to Lavender and inspected the label on a bottle of morphine tablets. Finding it sound, she filed it away in the back of the second shelf from the top in the medicine cabinet, and made a sharp graphite tick on the inventory form.

“Lieutenant McLaggen. The fellow from Dunfermline. Oh, thank you.” Lavender received a wrapped bundle from one of the laundry girls, and set it down on the center of the table on the opposite side of the room. “He’s going to be in London next month, and wants me to come over on the train.”

Ticking at her form, Pansy fitted away a third vial, made another tick, and then filed a fourth in a martial row moving forward in the cabinet.

“You need to be careful with all that,” she said.

“Oh, I am.” Lavender checked the tag on the laundry. “I might seem silly, but I’m not daft.”

Pansy scraped her pencil so hard against her form that it tore a small hole in the page.

“I’m glad to hear it.”

“You alright?” Lavender asked, hand paused at the task of untucking the edges of the bundle.

“I’m fine.”

Lavender laid out the edges of the cloth wrapping, removed a stack of cloth face masks, and set them on the shelf in front of her. “It’s only you look a bit flushed, Pans.”

Pansy tightened the aperture of her attention down to a ruthless diameter, wide enough for nothing beyond the minute detail of dates printed on pasted labels and the tick of her freshly sharpened pencil.

Once the old bottles were secured at the front of the shelf and the new ones filed behind them, Pansy closed the cabinet doors and brushed her hands against the cotton of her pinafore.

“I’m going to get some air,” she said, her shoulder nearly glancing against Lavender’s on her way out the door.

“Alright, love,” Lavender called after her. “I’ll tell you about the letter I’ve had from Second Lieutenant Creevey when you’ve come back.”

For a long while, Pansy had thought of the hospital as a cheap robe hung on the exalted bones of Thornwood Abbey. The war would end, and it would fall away as immaterial and disposable as the wrapping on a parcel.

No stain, no echo, no vibration of its requisition would be left behind.

It would be her sanctuary once again, and only hers, free to take her tea in solitary silence by the large window in the drawing room, watching the mallards dabble in the lake.

As it was, the drawing room was filled with men who sent up prayers to God if they woke with a headache from the anesthetic.

Day by day, Pansy felt the memory of her home drain away, replaced as it needed to be by the urgent and essential now.

She passed Daphne in the hall outside the room where her servants used to eat their dinner. She intended to keep up her pace and offer nothing beyond a tip of her head, but Daphne slipped her hand into the crook of Pansy’s elbow.

“Your captain is looking for you,” she said quietly. “I’ve tried to deflect him, but I think he’s gone to Pomfrey already and knows you’re here.”

A voltaic shimmer traveled down the surface of Pansy’s skin and back up again.

“Fucking hell.”

Pansy turned around and stalked off in the other direction, abandoning the idea of a turn around the rose garden.

She nearly escaped to the nurse’s dormitory that was once her own, solitary boudoir.

But naturally he recalled the narrow service stairs in the east wing, and opened the door to descend just as she arrived at the top.

“Pansy,” he said, almost breathless with a sort of half-panic. “I’ve been looking all over for you.”

“Neville.”

He held his hat at his side, pinched between his spare, muscled fingers.

His hair was never fully tamed, and the impacts of having put his hat on his head and then removing it again made themselves clear.

Pansy flattened herself against the wall of the confining stairwell, grasping her own forearms in her palms behind her back.

“Well?” she asked. She pursed her lips and lifted her chin, fluidly performing the impatience and imperious nonchalance that constituted the entirety of her personality as far as most people were concerned.

“I’m leaving.” He breathed in, an intake of air meant to fortify and compose. “Today. Just now, actually.”

His dark eyes scanned her own, but her vision caught on the pink line of scar tissue running from below his left ear, over his cheekbone, through the outside third of his left eyebrow, then turning back to end in a jagged half circle at the hairline at his left temple.

The scar and a Victoria Cross he kept folded in a handkerchief at the back of his top bureau drawer were the only mementos he had been given for a wound that had done everything in its power to end his life.

The desire to trace it with her fingertips flooded her with so much force that she pinched the skin of both her arms hard enough with her fingernails that she sucked in a breath through her nose.

“I wish you all the luck, then, Captain,” she said, leaning hard into the clipped tones of her breeding to mask the quaver in her throat.

“Pansy, please.”

She might have persisted—would have persisted—had he been any other man, but his hand was at her hip, and then his elbow was crooked behind her nape, and she was in his arms, sighing against the mouth that had been mercifully spared of injury for her own selfish, covetous, unappeasable use.

“I’m going to write to you,” he muttered against her jaw.

“I told you. I won’t read them.”

“I don’t care.”

Pansy took his hand in hers, and folded it over her breast.

She might have known better. Should have known better.

He made her mindless with want.

His hand closed hard, in the way that she liked best, over her too-tender breast, and she gasped with the pain of it.

He pulled back instantly, skin flushed and lips heated for her, and stared at her with an expression of hurt and confusion that she hated, instantly and forever.

“Pans, I’m so sorry. I—”

She prayed, earnestly, fervently, for his stupidity.

But there was only one time she’d known him to be a fool.

His thinking was both careful and thorough, and after a moment his skin paled.

“You’ve been avoiding me for a week,” he said.

She wouldn’t tell him.

She refused.

He would go, and meet the enemy at the door with nothing to remind him of her except the knickers she’d folded into his pocket on the afternoon he’d first taken her, breathless, his scar still red, against the grass bordering the rushes at the edge of the lake.

He would go, and there he would be stupid, beating back disaster with the hard brick of his self-sacrificial love.

Maybe he would come back to find her Miss Parkinson of Thornwood Abbey, sitting in her drawing room with a cup of tea.

Maybe he would come back to find her another man’s wife.

Maybe he would come back with no desire to find her anywhere.

Maybe he wouldn’t come back at all.

“Pansy.”

She was hard as flint.

She was so soft.

She could have told him the hour of the disaster with devastating precision.

Lying on her back, a prohibited object in his bed, she’d been lost with him moving in her, bleary eyes half closed, muting her voice against the sweat at his shoulder, heels at the small of his back holding him tight to her as she gasped out that she loved him.

She had hoped he hadn’t heard, but outside the borders of her own unbearable arc of sensation, she was aware that he’d finished inside her.

If she’d moved immediately after, it might have been possible to have done something, but she couldn’t care about anything beyond how it felt to be held in his arms.

In the dreary dark of the stairs, he studied her with dogged and patient intelligence.

And then his fingertips stroked down her belly, and flexed over the secret below.

He moved quickly then, ducking down and tossing her over his shoulder, and marching with singular purpose up the stairs to the second floor.

Below her, the familiar carpet of her ancestral hall streaked away from the backs of his heels.

He finally stopped at the mahogany door to what was once the least-offered guest bedroom in the east wing, and pushed it open with startling force.

He set her down on her feet in the middle of the room, and tightened one of his long arms around her waist.

The chaplain sat at his desk ramrod straight, auburn hair slicked into an adamant wave over his forehead and spectacles perched on the bridge of his nose. He cradled a pen in his hand, poised over a sheet of paper.

“Captain Longbottom. Nurse Parkinson,” he said, mannerly and terse. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I’m going to need you to marry us, Father Weasley,” said Neville. “Straight away.”

Father Weasley laid his pen down in a strict perpendicular to his page, and folded his hands together at the edge of his desk.

“I’m afraid you’ll need to submit the proper paperwork. Then Major Weasley will have to approve. He’s on leave in Devonshire at the moment,” he said, shifting his pen a millimetre to the right, “and isn’t expected to return until Tuesday.”

“Get Brigadier General Moody to sign off on it. He’s downstairs in the wards.” Neville’s hand tightened on Pansy’s waist. “I’m...that is so say we’re—”

He turned to Pansy, pink-cheeked, eyes shining, and smiled with half his mouth like an absolute clot.

Pansy couldn’t bear to look at him. Instead she stared hard at Father Weasley until he puffed a beleaguered breath through his nostrils.

He looked at the face of his wristwatch, then drew open a drawer at the side of his desk, and pulled out a blank form.

“You’ll need a witness.”

Neville released Pansy’s waist, stalked to the door and stuck his head out.

“Malfoy,” he called out. “You’re needed.”

Half a minute later, Captain Malfoy strolled through the door entirely unbothered, half-eaten apple in hand.

“Hullo. What’s going on then?” he asked.

“Give me your ring,” said Neville.

Malfoy looked down at the emerald ring on his little finger.

“What do you want my ring for, Longbottom? Go and get one of your own.” He looked Pansy up and down. “Where’s your wee cap gone, Pans?” He took an enormous bite of his apple. “I shouldn’t think the priest has it.”

“Father Weasley’s marrying us just now,” said Neville. “You’re needed as witness.”

Malfoy laughed. “What? Right now? What’s the bloody great rush?”

“I’m pregnant, idiot,” said Pansy.

Malfoy’s eyes widened. “Well that’s extremely naughty of you.”

With an effort, he pulled the ring off his finger and tossed it to Neville.

“You’d better have something a fair sight better than that in your vaults, Longbottom. I hope you’re aware that our Pans has champagne taste.”

Pansy tucked her hair over her ear. “Fuck off, Draco.”

While Father Weasley scribed at the form, Pansy tucked her hand in Neville’s, and turned to face him.

“I’m going to write to you,” he said quietly, rolling Draco’s ring in his fingers. “Constantly. I don’t care whether you read them.”

For two weeks, Pansy had watched the mirror with mounting terror.

She’d seen her soft, glassy eyes. Her swelling breasts. The heat rising visibly at the surface of her skin.

Fatigued and faint, nauseated and utterly sick with love and longing, she shifted to fill the open geometry of Neville’s body.

“Normally we’d get two days, Pans, but we’re...I can’t—”

She pulled up on her toes, and his arms tightened around her, lifting her nearly off the floor and into the warm space he kept reserved for her at the side of his neck.

“Were you going to tell me?” he whispered hoarsely.

“You can’t worry,” she muttered against his pulse. “You’re not allowed.”

“I’m going to use every last piece of paper I’m given.” He pressed his face into her hair. “I don’t care if you read a single one.”

Pansy breathed him in, using every sense to press him hard into the soft wax of her memory. “I’m going to read them all.”

#Pansy Parkinson #Neville Longbottom #panville #paneville #slytherdornet #hp rarepair

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spine-buster · 4 years

Text

The President Wears Prada (William Nylander) | Chapter 29

A/N: There’s somewhat of a double update this week 🙊You’ll understand why at the end of the chapter 🙊

May 26th, 2020

Aberdeen Bloom was frantic.

The NHL had announced their Return to Play plan. Toronto was the chosen hub city for the eastern conference, naturally. They were Toronto. She’d be back at work.

None of that mattered.

William was back in Toronto.

But he was in quarantine. The government had instituted the policy and he was going to stick to it, obviously. And so was she, especially since he traveled from Florida, even though it was going to be hard. It meant that he was in Toronto, and Aberdeen knew he was in Toronto, but she was unable to see him. They’d have to communicate the same way as they did when he was in Tampa Bay, still, even though he was only a ten-minute walk away from her.

It killed her. It hurt worse than when he was in Tampa.

“The plan is already set,” he explained to her on the phone. “After the fourteen days I get to go back onto the ice. I think a few of the guys who stayed in Toronto will be there too. No more than five, though.”

“Yeah. Those are the rules.”

“Will you be there with Brendan?”

Aberdeen hadn’t even thought about it. She and Brendan had obviously kept in touch throughout quarantine, but he hadn’t mentioned needing her at Scotiabank Arena should any of the guys go in for a skate. “I don’t know, actually,” she admitted. “I’d have to ask.”

“Please ask,” he said quickly, causing Aberdeen to laugh. “If you’re there that day, when I’m back on the ice, I…Aberdeen, please just ask.”

“I will.”

***

May 29th, 2020

“Do you need me in that day, by the way?” Aberdeen asked Brendan on the phone, super-casually but also super-connivingly near the end of their call.

“Which day?”

“Any of the days, really,” she said, trying to sound even more casual than before. They’d gone through all the players, their whereabouts, and all the dates they would be available to go skate at the arena. “The seventh, the ninth – any of them.”

“Well…it’ll be nice to see your smiling face,” he said, and she knew by his tone he was looking down at his calendar. “How about you come in on just one of the days. You choose which one.”

“I’ll come on the ninth, the Tuesday,” she chose quickly. “Sunday is a day of worship, Brendan. You should know better.”

Brendan laughed on the other end. “It’ll be good to see you again, Aberdeen. Bring some of that humour with you. We’re gonna need it.”

***

June 3rd, 2020

“Six more days, minskatt.”

“Not that we’re counting.”

“When I get my hands on you…”

“Not if I get my hands on you first.”

***

June 7th, 2020

“Forty-eight hours.”

“It’s been sixty-one days, you know.”

“Sixty-one days?! Fuuuuuuck, Aberdeen.”

“You haven’t been buried in my pussy for sixty-one days, Willy.”

“Aberdeen—”

“My pussy’s so wet for you Willy.”

“You’ve gotta stop teasing me.”

***

June 9th, 2020

“A blazer, Aberdeen?” Brendan asked as he watched her walk into the office, a giddy smile on his face – not that anyone saw. Everyone was wearing a mask, and he was no exception. He wore a Leafs branded one, naturally. He had a bunch to give to Aberdeen, too – one for every day of the week. She walked into the office wearing a plain black mask. Typical of her.

“I needed to feel professional,” she said. “I’ve been in my condo in sweaters and tights for three months. Give me this moment.”

“Fine. Have it,” he smiled. “Set your stuff down and come with me. We’re going down to the ice.”

Aberdeen felt shivers running up and down her spine, and it wasn’t because of the ice. They made their way down to the locker room first, actually, where they saw Kyle on the way. She and him caught up quickly, with her asking about Leo and with Kyle asking about her writing. But then, like pure magic, and completely unannounced, there he was, in his hockey pants and socks. She swore her heart stopped beating. Sixty-one days.

William stopped dead in his tracks when he saw her. He was wearing a mask, so she could only see his eyes. “Aberdeen,” he said, nodding at her. “Hey.”

“Hey,” she said. “Long time no see. How was Tampa?” she asked.

Only she could see the indignant look he was giving her with his eyes. It was a look he only saved for her when she was being ridiculous – in any way she could be ridiculous – so Brendan and Kyle were none the wiser, though she was sure if they really looked, they’d probably see it too. “It was good. Nice spending time with the siblings, you know. Were you okay here?”

She nodded. “Yeah, everything was fine on my end. Just stayed holed up in the condo, really. Kasha was working a lot from home so it was mostly just me writing and keeping quiet so she could still earn a living.”

“Well that’s good that she didn’t get laid off or anything,” he commented. “And your family? They’re okay?”

“They’re fine. Siena’s back at my parents’ place and finished off the school year. Camden is too, though school in general is a bit of a shit show right now.”

“Is that Aberdeen?!” a voice suddenly called out from inside the locker room. Before their dumb conversation could continue with Brendan and Kyle watching, she saw a maskless Zach Hyman in his full gear barreling towards her. “Aberdeen!” he extended his arms for a hug.

“No no no!” Kyle and Brendan screamed at the same time, putting their arms up like a forcefield around Aberdeen. “No hugging! Social distancing!”

Zach’s brows were furrowed before he finally remembered, rolling his eyes at himself. “Sorry. I’m so dumb. I completely forgot. I’m just excited to see you!”

“Me too, Zach,” she smiled, wishing he could see it. She hoped he at least saw her eyes crinkle from it. “It’s nice to be back, isn’t it?”

“You’re telling me,” he said. She didn’t even have to see his face to see he was smiling from ear to ear. He lived for hockey. “You coming out onto the ice with us?”

“If I’m allowed,” Aberdeen shrugged her shoulders, looking to Brendan and Kyle who were nodding their heads. “Might sit on the bench and pretend I’m Sheldon for a bit.”

***

did u tell kasha ur working late?

Yup

come over right when brendan lets u leave i can’t wait anymore

me neither

i got a boner just seeing u today in your work clothes

LOL WILL

minskatt im 100% serious this isnt funny

I’m actually dying Willy Thank god you were wearing your hockey pants We’ve waited over six weeks, you can’t wait longer?

NO I CAN’T MINSKATT

***

There were butterflies in Aberdeen’s stomach as she made her way into William’s condo building, into the elevator, and through the hallways. Still in her work clothes, she knocked frantically on his front door.

She didn’t have to wait long.

She didn’t even get the third knock in before he swung the door open, obviously waiting for her, grabbing her arm and pulling her in. She dropped her bag as he pulled her into him and immediately planted his lips on hers aggressively. Hands and lips and tongues happened all at once, and they were everywhere, and when the front door shut behind them William pushed Aberdeen up against it, lifting her up in his arms with her wrapping her legs around him. Aberdeen wrapped her arms around his shoulders and began running her fingers through his hair. It had gotten so long. So long. She’d seen the progression of the length on their FaceTime calls, but it was different seeing it in person. Sixty-one days. Sixty-one days since she’d seen him and she barely took in the sight of him when he opened the door.

“God I fucking missed you,” he mumbled quickly as his kisses moved from her lips to her neck.

“Let me see you,” she mumbled, stopping her hands from running through his hair to place them on either side of his face. She pulled his face away from her neck so she could look at him, really look at him. His eyes were as blue as ever, glossed over with love and lust and everything in between. His hair was as blonde as ever, long and luscious and every girl’s dream, really. A light stubble covered his face, and the stupidest mustache sat atop his lip, but because he was William, she couldn’t say a bad thing about it. It looked ridiculous, but she loved everything about it. His lips were pink and puffy and wet as she ran her thumb across them ever so gently. He was here. He was actually here. “Hi,” she said softly, their chests still heaving from the hot and heavy start.

“Hi minskatt,” he whispered back equally as softly, pursing his lips slightly as if to kiss her thumb.

“You’re here,” she smiled. “You’re finally here.”

“I never want to spend that much time apart again,” he said. “I can’t stand being away from you.”

“Me neither.”

“It was torture,” he continued. “All I thought about was you. How much I love you. How much I wanted to hold you in my arms like I’m doing now.”

Aberdeen smiled again, biting down on her bottom lip slightly. “Show me,” she said. “Show me how much you love me.”

He planted his lips on hers again, just as frantic and fiercely as the last time, continuing where he left off. Aberdeen began shimmying out of her blazer, letting it fall to the floor as he adjusted her in his arms and carried her through the apartment, setting her down finally on his couch. Hovering over her now, with her legs still wrapped around him, Aberdeen tugged at his hoodie. “Take this off,” she mumbled, pulling it over his shoulders and throwing it behind them.

Reluctantly, William’s lips left Aberdeen’s as he pulled back and started unzipping her pants. “Willy,” her chest heaved up and down. He was working quickly. He ignored his name as he pulled her pants off. When they were off, he hooked his fingers into her underwear and pulled them off too. “Willy—”

William was a man possessed. There was nothing Aberdeen could say – instead, she watched as he gave her one final look with his blue eyes before he dove into her pussy. She bucked her hips almost automatically but William brought his arm up to hold her down. “Ooooooh fuck, Willy,” she sighed out.

“I missed this,” he mumbled, humming against her lips as he lapped and sucked, making her squirm underneath his arm. “You taste so good for me.”

“I missed this too. I missed your mouth on my pussy,” she strained to get out, trying to savour the feeling as much as possible since she hadn’t felt it in sixty-one days. When he looked up at her from in between her legs, she smiled. “You look so good between my thighs, baby,” she cooed, running her fingers through his hair and gripping it slightly.

He hummed again, sending shivers down her spine. “When you touched yourself was it like this?” he asked.

“No,” she responded automatically, because nothing was the same as having William’s lips and tongued glued to her pussy. “Nothing is as good as this, Willy. Nothing.”

“Can I put my fingers in your pussy?”

She nodded furiously. “Please Willy.”

He pushed two fingers in slowly as he sucked on her clit, making her squirm even more so than before. “Oooooh, Willy,” she moaned. He curled his fingers inside of her like he always did and she gasped. “Willy—Willy—”

“Feel good?”

“Feels fucking amazing,” she said. “Willy, I—I—”

“What do you want, Aberdeen?”

“I want to suck your cock, Willy,” she admitted. “I want to suck your cock so bad.”

He chuckled, and she could feel it, and his eyes narrowed as he could practically feel the shivers run through her body. “Not yet. Not until you come on my face.”

Aberdeen gulped. “But Willy—”

“No. Not until you come on my face, baby.”

“Willyyyy—” she begged, until she felt his fingers curl inside of her again. “Oh fuck, Willy, fuck – please,” she huffed.

“Let me taste you, Aberdeen. I need to taste you.”

As he continued his lapping, Aberdeen moaned and cried out at every opportunity, and when she began tugging on his hair and pulling his face even further against her wet pussy, he knew she was close. With a few more curls of his fingers and sucking on her clit, she cried out his name over and over again as she became a screaming, writhing mess on his couch. He lapped up every single last drop of her as he watched her chest heave up and down from the pleasure, from the pleasure he caused. When he was finally finished, placing butterfly kisses against her pussy and thighs, he made his way back up and gave her a hot, slobbered kiss.

She could taste herself on his lips, and she loved it, but what she wanted more was to taste him. So when his lips left hers, she made sure to look him in the eye. “Sit,” she said, putting her hands on his chest.

“Minskatt—” he said, placing a hand on hers.

“Sit,” she ordered more sternly, pushing him back so he’d listen to her command. He sat on the couch with his legs spread apart and watched as she climbed on top of him but made her way between his legs. She took off her top, leaving her just in her lace bra that she wore especially for him. Her hands went to the waistband of his sweatpants and she pulled them down, along with his boxers, as eagerly as ever. When his cock bounced up, already hard, she smiled up at him. “Mmmmm,” she hummed, running her fingernails up and down his thick thighs. “I’ve been dreaming about your cock in my mouth, Willy.”

“I’ve been dreaming abo—oh fuuuuuck,” he groaned as Aberdeen wasted no time in licking the underside of his cock from the base to the tip before covering the tip with her lips. “Aberdeen—”

William couldn’t finish his sentence – or thought, really – because Aberdeen took his cock in her mouth, swirling her tongue around expertly. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. The amount of times he thought about this very thing while in Tampa…and now it was happening. He shuddered thinking about it, feeling it happening right now. “Your mouth feels incredible on my cock,” he managed to get out, looking down at her with hooded eyes.

“Pull my hair, Willy,” she said quickly, putting a quick kiss on the tip of his cock.

It was his turn to gulp. He ran his fingers through her hair – the hair he loved so much – and tugged on it slightly, pushing her back down onto his cock. She moaned in response. “That okay?”

She nodded even though his cock was halfway down her throat. She looked up at him again once she came back up – once he allowed her to. “Harder, Willy. It’s okay. I want your cock down my throat.”

“Ab—”

“It’s okay, Willy,” she dug her nails into his thighs. “I want it.”

A deep growl rose in his chest as he tugged on her hair again, pushing her mouth down his cock slowly. As he watched his cock disappear into her mouth, his pupils dilated. When she looked up at him with her beady eyes, he almost lost it. She began bobbing her head up and down his cock with his direction, the tugging of her hair and the slight force he was using making her wet all over again. Much like William, Aberdeen derived pleasure from knowing she was giving William that same pleasure, so seeing his chest heave, seeing him lean his head back in pleasure – it was all she wanted, everything she dreamed of for the past sixty-one days away from him.

“D’you want to come down my throat?” she asked, his cock slick and wet from her spit.

“No,” he said sternly. “Get…get up here.”

“Willy—”

He tugged her by the arm, bringing her back up so he could kiss her and pick her back up again as they made their way to his bedroom. He plopped her down to the bed, opening his bedside table drawer to get a condom. She stole it from him, ripping it open with her teeth and rolling it on herself before laying back down on the bed, unclasping her bra herself and throwing it across the room.

William bent down and took one of her nipples into her mouth, sucking gently as he grabbed at her hands. He raised them above her head, holding them both there with only one of his own. He saw her smile. “You like that, don’t you?” he asked, his own grin showing how he felt about it.

She nodded her head. “I want your cock so bad Willy. “Give me your cock. I need your cock.”

He slipped into her easily, quickly, her wet pussy still slick with her juices. They both moaned in pleasure, and once he was fully in her, they both took a moment to savour the feeling of being together again – physically, mentally, emotionally, everything – and looked each other in the eye. “God you feel so good,” he whispered, giving the tip of her nose a light kiss. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” she said, her voice breathless, the feeling of him filling her up almost too much to bear after not having experienced it for so long. “I love you so much, Willy.”

“I promise you,” he said. “I promise you I’ll never leave you for that long again. We’ll never be separated like that.”

She nodded her head. She understood. “I never want to be. I always want to be with you, Willy. Wherever you are, I’ll be.”

He began moving in and out of her, slowly, trying to make the feeling last as long as possible. But eventually, when Aberdeen began rolling her hips along with his movements, even though her arms and hands were still pinned above her head, he couldn’t control himself, moving quicker and crashing harder against her body. He watched as her eyes rolled to the back of her head, the moans escaping them freely and loudly.

At some point, William forgot about holding her arms above her head. At some point, they escaped free, and she dug her nails into his shoulder blades and scratched them down his back. At some point, after hearing her moans and cries and screams of his name for what felt like hours, he lost himself, and he lost control, and she lost herself, and she lost control, and they came together, bodies close, arms around each other, his head buried in the crook of her neck, hearts beating together.

***

“Did you mean what you said?” William asked as they lay in bed together, still recovering. He knew there was going to be a round two. And a round three. And however many more they saw fit until they were satisfied, although deep down he knew neither of them would ever be satisfied. But before all that, he needed to clear something up. He needed to hear it from her. “Wherever you are, I’ll be?”

Aberdeen looked over at him. She knew what he was asking, because he was in hockey. He could be shipped off somewhere tomorrow. He could be shipped off in the off-season. As she learned in May, and saw for herself, virtually half the fanbase wanted him gone (the dumb fanbase at least, she thought). But much like when he asked her if she would really come to Sweden with him, she knew there was a deeper meaning to this. There always was with William with questions like this; he was still learning to talk to her – to express his feelings like he promised he would after that game against Carolina. “Are you listening?” she asked, what they would always ask each other when they were about to say something important.

“Yes, minskatt.”

She looked him in the eye and nodded her head. “Of course I did.”

He tried not to show it, but he took a sharp intake of breath. She could see his Adam’s apple bob. She knew he was trying not to get emotional. But when he moved to kiss her, she could feel a tear.

***

June 13th, 2020

“I saw on the news that William is back!” Camden exclaimed into the phone. Aberdeen had to go so far as to jerk the phone away from her ear. From the other side of the couch, William giggled silently. “Did you get to see him, Aberdeen?!”

“I did,” she laughed. “He says hello.”

“Did he have a good time in Tampa?”

“I think so. I mean he was with his siblings,” Aberdeen laughed. “Aren’t you happy with me and Siena are home?”

“Sometimes.”

She snorted. “Anyways, have you finished the last of your work for school?” she asked. “Siena told me you forgot about a math assignment.”

“Oh my God, I forget about one assignment and I never hear the end of it!” he complained. William threw his head back in silent laughter. “You guys never let me hear the end of it!”

“But it’s math, Camden! Math is your favourite subject!”

“Don’t you guys remember I’m working at like, two grades above my level in math anyway?” he reminded her. “I’m already, like, gifted in math. You weren’t gifted.”

“Don’t remind me.”

“Is Auston back yet?” he asked.

“I don’t know buddy. He’s still in Arizona. But I assume he’ll be coming back soon. I’m sure there’s ice rinks there he’s practicing on.”

“Is he staying safe?”

“I’m sure he is Camden. I’m sure he is.”

***

June 19th, 2020

@simmonssteve: POSTMEDIA EXCLUSIVE: Auston Matthews has tested positive for COVID-19. My breaking story: torontosun.com

***

Aberdeen thought she’d seen Brendan Shanahan angry on her interview day when he was demanding to his former personal assistant that the article written about his daughter be pulled from the Toronto Sun. She thought she saw Brendan Shanahan at his angriest when she entered his house while he was having a fight with his daughter and the subsequent day when he sent her on a wild goose chase throughout the city to find Niklas Lidstrom’s Swedish jersey.

Those were a walk in the park compared to how she saw him now, dealing with the leaked information that Auston tested positive for COVID-19.

She was sure he was ready to burn down his office, the floor, the entire building, the entire Scotiabank Arena. She knew he wanted to revoke the media access and credentials of the reporter, Steve Simmons, because he had so many strikes against him over the years (Aberdeen would have to research this when she got home), but that he would look like a vindictive and spiteful president if he did so. She knew he had been on the phone with Auston and his agent and his parents and Kyle and Brad and just about everyone else important within the organization to deal with it.

And all she was doing was sitting in a chair in his office with a mask on.

She felt her phone buzz in her hand, and when she looked at the screen she saw “Head Empty” on the screen followed by a message.

hows it going over there?

She took a quick look at Brendan and he was still barking into a phone. She unlocked her screen and began to type.

It’s a shit show. Have you heard from Auston?

yea mild symptoms but hes angry doesnt know how it leaked

Who could it have been?

no clue, honestly not like any of us would say something

“Aberdeen, Kyle is coming in,” Brendan said quickly. His voice was stern but softer than how he was speaking to whoever was on the phone. He had his hand over the receiver. “Can you go get us some coffee, please.”

She nodded and got up, making her way out of his office and to the Starbucks where she always went to get their regular orders. As she took the staircase down to the main floor, her phone began to ring loudly, echoing in the empty space. She stopped and looked down at her phone. Auston Matthews.

“Hello?” she asked, truly confused as to why he would be calling her.

“Hey,” he said casually. “How are you?”

“I’m…fine,” she replied, still confused. “Is everything okay?”

“Depends,” he said. “Can you be honest with me?”

She stiffened slightly. “I’m always honest with you.”

“I know. But can you be honest with me right now?”

“Yes, of course.”

He paused. “Do you know who leaked it?”

She closed her eyes. She let out the breath she didn’t know she was holding in. “No, I don’t. But trust me when I say we’re doing everything to find out. Kyle’s heading over right now and I can only imagine what he and Brendan are going to do to…I don’t know, mitigate this disaster.”

She could hear him sigh on the other end. “I hope whoever it was gets fired, honest to God.”

“I hope so too. Pretty sure Brendan wants to get Steve Simmons fired, too, for what it’s worth,” she said. There was a moment of silence between the two of them before her mouth began speaking quicker than her brain told her not to say anything. “You don’t think it was me, do you?”

“No, not at all,” he said. “We all trust you with anything and everything. We know if something ever got out, it would never be you.”

“Why do you say that?” she asked, genuinely curious. It was a feat in and of itself to have the utmost trust of absolutely everybody in the locker room.

“Because we know and understand that we all have our secrets, Aberdeen.”

169 notes · View notes

dirt-cup-draco · 4 years

Text

Cedric x Reader- Dont Leaf Me Alone

hey! may i request something with cedric? a slytherin reader, where he keeps asking them on a date and they're always saying no, and one day he asks them again and they yell at him and he starts crying. so then the readers like oh shit and realizes they like him A LOT and is holding cedric and saying sorry so many times? thank you and i've loved your previous cedric fics!

March~

You sat comfortably in the clock tower’s courtyard, the stone cool on your palm as you supported yourself. You were lounging, watching as people moved around, buzzing with life and smiling with friends. Your neutral expression soured as you saw a group of people in similar green robes, laughing and taking glances your way.

You could practically hear them making fun of you as they whispered to each other. The Slytherins you’d once called friends created an ice cold den of snakes as they gathered together and mocked you from a distance. Your boyfriend- your ex- you reminded yourself had his arm wrapped around your friend- that bitch- and smiled as he brushed his lips against her cheek.

It might have no disgusted you so much if they hadn’t been seeing each other while you’d been head over heels for the bastard. A sweet smile from your friend and you’d so blindly trusted the both of them. You knew better now.

You rolled your eyes, ignoring the burn as you tried to convince yourself that you didn’t care. It doesn’t matter. It’s been a month. I’m over it. You chanted to yourself as you pulled yourself to your feet. Your people-watching had been completely ruined by their presence as the ice coursed through your veins.

You were still in your sour mood as you tried to drown out the voices behind your back, looking to get anywhere else. It was then that a hufflepuff with a slim build, bright eyes and breeze swept hair approached you, a bundle of barely budding flowers and weeds in his hand.

“Y/N!” He grinned, long legs carrying him to you before you could turn around and escape in the other direction.

“Cedric,” You acknowledged with a tight smile. It wasn’t that you didn’t like Cedric, he was sweet. Or he seemed to be. You weren’t sure if it was all a facade, something used to keep his popularity afloat and the girls swooning. You refused to be one of them.

“Um-” Cedric stumbled over his words for a moment, your less than lackluster greeting tripping him up. He did his best to recover though as he took in your stiff form, your eyes glaring at his rugged bouquet. He hadn’t had much luck turning his quills into anything pretty so he had run out and picked whatever looked nice. He extended his arm. “If you were a flower, I’d pick you,”

Cedric was hoping for well anything really. What he got instead was an unimpressed appraisal of his poor pick up line, your eyebrows shooting to your hairline as if to say really? that was the best you could do? He grinned at you like he wasn’t sweating bullets right now and waited for you to take the flowers, say something, laugh for gods sake if nothing else!

“Flowers die when they’re picked Diggory, trying to say you want me dead?” You shot back and Cedric’s stomach twisted uncomfortably.

“N-No! I was trying to-” Cedric defended but you were already moving past him and when he got his bearings back you were gone.

What the hell just happened?

Cedric dropped his head into his hands, groaning as Ernie snickered into his hand.

“She really said that?” The underclassman continued to laugh softly, his own pride soaring as Cedric got knocked down a peg. “I can’t say I feel bad for you Ced- Y/N’s as bitchy as they get,”

Cedric’s head shot up as he sent Ernie a withering glare. “Say that about her again MacMillan and I’ll make sure you never say a god damn thing again,”

Ernie paled and Zacharias cut in. “He’s a prick maybe, Cedric, but he isnt wrong. Have you ever seen her smile? Or do anything with her face that wasn’t a scowl. I’ve only ever seen her happy with that douche she called a boyfriend and even he dumped her for being too icy- or so I’ve heard,”

Yes, he had. You’d lingered on the quidditch pitch even after your fellow Slytherins had filtered out and the Hufflepuffs got ready to practice for the rest of the morning. A single flower had been blooming, going unnoticed by Filch. It was rosy and bright- a sore thumb- on the otherwise monochromatic green of the field.

A relaxed, gorgeous, smile had slipped onto your features and Cedric had been lucky enough to catch it as he was the first to walk out. That smile had been haunting him for weeks now, playing in his dreams. He wouldn’t mind being the one to make you smile like that.

“You don’t know her, leave her alone,” Cedric grumbled to the two boys who were making his miserable day even worse. If he heard Ernie mutter “neither do you, you tosser” and Zach follow with “why even try? she doesn’t like anyone” he pretended not to notice.

You lay on your bed, staring at the canopy above you, eyes tracing the pattern and losing yourself in the monotony of it. You could pick apart the shapes that had been made into the fabric and create different ones. You snorted as you saw the face of a goat in the shadows of the fabric, as well as a cloud looking swirl and then in the wrinkles of the canopy there was something resembling a flower.

To anyone else these would be entirely different things- only your eyes saw the silly shapes in the negative space of the velvety canopy. You always knew what was on your mind- or the absence of anything on your mind- when you gazed up.

Flower. Cedric. Your conscience whispered at you and you squeezed your eyes shut tight like it would vanish that thought of him.

His flirting had been...endearing terrible. You barely knew him! Why was he talking to you? He probably just wanted to mess around, have another notch on his belt. Cedric isn’t your ex. He could be nice. The kinder, trusting part of you mentioned but you squashed her out. She got hurt too easily.

Sighing you grabbed your pillow and covered your face, groaning into the fabric. You were tired of people.

April~

Cedric had to try again apparently. You frowned when you saw him leaning against the wall, a daisy in his grasp as his eyes found you the second you walked past the doors.

“Not a daisy goes by that I don’t think about you,” He tried.

And failed.

You hardly even spared him a glance, blowing air out your nose in a scoff.

“Have you tried amnesia? I think it would help both of us,” Was all you had to say.

Cedric felt as droopy as the daisy that he tossed to the floor.

May~

There was one person who didn’t know how to leave you alone. The first time it had been cute like how giving your mom a macaroni necklace in elementary was cute.

Maybe it was cute because it was genuine. Shaking your head you removed that thought faster than you could blink. Cedric Diggory didn’t seem genuine. His smile was too honest and you feared the lies that could lie behind those pearly whites. His eyes were too pretty and you knew if you looked too long you would become lost, maybe to the point of no return. His voice was too comforting and you knew you’d believe everything he said if you were more naive.

You didn’t hate the boy by any means but you weren’t looking to make another mistake and you had had enough dating drama to last you a life time. You had sworn off dating teenagers who were just looking for fun and nothing else- it didn’t matter who got hurt in the process.

You weren’t wishing to be a part of Diggory’s process.

You thought the closer you got to the forbidden forest you got the further everyone else would be but Cedric still managed to find you as the sun started it’s descent in the sky. You had shed your robe, treating it as a blanket while you lounged in the evening warmth.

Summer was near, you could feel it. You could see it in the way the students tapped their feet during class, eyes darting to the windows as they dreamed to be out in the clear weather.

And now you could smell it. A floral fragrance enhanced by the heat drifted your way and when you tore your eyes from the ripples in the black lake where you had gathered pebbles to see how far you could toss them from your place in the grass. Maybe you should start calling Cedric pebble, with how far you keep tossing him away.

“Y/N-” Cedric smiled as he began his greeting, lips quirked up and expression completely open.

“Wait,” You interrupted with a heavy sigh. “Before you say anything can I ask why? Why do you keep doing this, bothering me? What has got you so incredibly fascinated with someone you don’t even know? We don’t speak, we don’t share classes, we don’t do anything and that’s how I like it. I don’t care about your fragile male ego, I don’t care that everyone here likes you. I. Dont. Care. So please, spare me for the first time in months and stop hitting on me,”

The words escaped before you could catch them and as you came back to yourself you moved your eyes from the spot just behind Cedric’s shoulder where you had been focused on to his face. You were expecting a smirk, something deflecting that you had torn him to shreds and that his pride was wounded.

It seemed in all reality, it wasn’t his pride that was wounded, but his feelings. Something surprising and sharped dug around in your gut as you watched Cedric stare at you with blank eyes, misted over- almost as if what you said had hurt him, the air punched from his lungs and his eyes watering. But that couldn’t be, he was just like your ex (probably), he didn’t care for you (did he?).

You only then noticed that he had a bunch of sunflowers in his shaking hands, tied together with a ribbon, a little card tied to them. It was a smart bouquet, pleasing to the eye.

“Um- I-” Cedric stumbled, sniffling as he blinked hard, a droplet falling past his eyelashes and splashing against his high cheekbones. He hastily swiped it away as his face colored in embarrassment. “Sorry then, for being a- for being a bother,” His response was canned, disconnected. It knocked your own air from your lungs but you couldn’t help but sink lower into the discomfort.

The sunflowers fell to the grass and Cedric nodded once, twice, taking a glance at you as you schooled your expression into something critical and cold. It was his turn to walk away, his heart thumping dully in his chest.

Cedric was long gone from sight when you gathered up the flowers, brushing the petals with your fingertips before you read the note tied against the stems.

“You make all my days sunny” Was scrawled messily but earnestly- like someone had tried to make all the letters neat and even but ended up failing- on the thick card stock and you tried swallowing the lump in your throat that began to form.

You’d made someone hurt like you had been hurt but you were starting to realize that it just made everything worse.

June~

School was coming to a close. You didn’t get any more visits from the Hufflepuff.

September~

You saw Cedric as he boarded the train. He’d taken one glance at you and then decided it was for the better.

October~

The leaves had turned brown weeks ago and you wondered if Cedric missed picking flowers. Maybe he was glad to have no reminder of you. You hoped so.

November~

You were wrong, wrong, wrong.

You didn’t hate people, you didn’t hate trusting, you didn’t hate Cedric. You hated that you had chosen to trust and you had been hurt by it. You hated that you had fallen for their lies and their fake smiles. You hated that you had given all you had and then you were left cold. You hated that you had hurt Cedric because you hadn’t known how to give kindness without fearing that it would be used against you.

Every time you passed by you saw his shoulders go tense, like you were a snake that was bearing its fangs right before striking. Guilt had been steadily pooling in your stomach for months and now it was starting to get suffocating.

Guilt and loneliness. You had come to look forward to the expected visits from Cedric the year previous, always with a different flower in hand and a new pickup line falling past his lips even when he’d seemed nervous. Now that he no longer came to see you, you missed it. You were the one to chase him off. You reminded yourself.

You were walking around aimlessly, sweater pulled tight around you as you took in how the flowers had long since wilted as the cold wind shocked them to the ground. Cedric wilted from dealing with your chilly attitude.

Shut up. You glared into the distance like you were glaring at your conscience.

Cedric was walking around too but he hadn’t expected to see you, arms wrapped tightly around yourself and muttering to yourself, eyes set forward in a dangerous glare. His heart constricted in the fear that you were glaring at him.

It didn’t seem like you knew he was less than three yards away from you. This ended when he stepped on a particularly crunchy pile of leaves and you startled like a deer in the headlights, looking even more startled when you realized who it was.

“Sorry, I’m leaving,” He said quickly but was stopped by an ice cold hand in his. How long had you been out here?

“No!” You demanded. “I mean... please wait?” Your grip loosened as you faltered. You had made a move, now Cedric got to decide if he answered or not.

Cedric wasn’t sure how to feel as you stopped him. You sounded softer than usual, the edge to your voice that you usually held with him now gone.

“Why?” He croaked, voice more gruff than he’d wanted it to be as his nerves caught up to him. “I’m sorry for whatever I did or if I made you uncomfortable but I won’t do it again. I got your message loud and clear, Y/N,”

“You didn’t do anything,” You explained and Cedric couldn’t help the confusion.

“So you hate me for absolutely no reason?” Cedric laughed breathlessly, in disbelief. You were a rose, but he hadn’t been prepared for the thorns. “Good to know, thank you so-”

“I don’t hate you!” You interrupted. “I-I messed up,”

You nervously twiddled your fingers, forcing yourself to continue looking Cedric in the eye. Maybe he would see something that kept him around long enough for you to apologize.

“That day in the courtyard, you caught me at a bad time-”

“And the other times after that?”

“I know you don’t owe me anything but please hear me out Cedric... I’m not asking for forgiveness but I do want to apologize and I want you to understand,”

Cedric sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose but your hope paid off. He could see the remorse swimming around and darkening your gaze. He wasn’t sure if the autumn air was bringing tears to your eyes or if it was your seemingly sudden guilt over how you’d treated him.

“That day, I watched while my ex and my old friends gathered in the courtyard and laughed at me, mocked me, just because they could. I’m a joke to them and have been ever since I found out he was cheating on me with my friend. To them I am the most pitiful person in school, worse than any gryffindor they might have a grudge against. They made me feel pitiful and then you were there being nice and I started to question your motives because I never question theirs and they used that to play me,”

Cedric’s wary gaze melted away to something closer to understanding and you breathed steadily. You were long since over your boyfriend and you had been healing but it still wasn’t easy to shake that mistrust you had programmed into yourself after all was said and done.

“You thought I was just another bad guy,” Cedric continued for you and you nodded. “Hence the whole ‘fragile male ego’ thing?” He guessed and you winced.

“I don’t know you, I don’t have a reason to trust you. But that being said, I was never given a reason to distrust you. I pegged you as something you weren’t.”

“And what am I?” Cedric asked as you grew stronger in your words, your bottom lip ceasing it’s quivering.

“Kind, above all. I don’t know who else would have kept trying after my blatant disregard for you... I was hurting so I took it out on you and I’ve had all these months to beat myself up for it. I guess what I’m saying is-” You shuffled around in your pocket, pulling out a wad of unique and multicolored leaves that you had found on the damp ground, the cold not having dried them out yet. “-I don’t want you to leaf me alone,”

You were waiting for Cedric to do anything, say anything. The silence ticked back as he stared at the leaves in your hands. His nose twitched and he took a surprised intake of a breath.

Then as he exhaled, his chest shook as he began to snicker. Two short bursts of unbelieving giggles before he was bursting into a more sturdy laughter. You felt small.

“I-I know it’s dumb, just know I’m sorry, yeah?” You muttered, trying to manage a smile before you turned to leave.

“Wait! Wait...” Cedric laughed softly but let it die out. “I’m sorry it’s just that was- that was sort of cute. I get why you did what you did, that doesn’t mean it hurts any less but I get it,”

“Y-you do?”

Cedric nodded, hand squeezing your shoulder. “Maybe we can start over?”

“God you’re such a hufflepuff,” You sniffled in shock. He wanted to start over? Of course he does, he isn’t your ex, he isn’t anybody but Cedric. Kind Cedric.

“God you’re such a slytherin,” Cedric poked back but his hand didn’t move from your shoulder and you appreciated it when he drew you into a hug. You squeezed him back tightly and he relaxed in your arms. He was happy to be hugging you because it felt right but also because you couldn’t see the way his eyes sparkled with unshed emotion.

The prettiest roses had the most thorns but he didn’t mind the cuts so long as you were there to bandage them back up.

#cedric diggory x reader #cedric diggory #fluff #cedric x reader #cedric x slytherin!reader

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dsmamedits · 3 years

Text

LETTER-TO-C

June 10, 2020

Dear C,

I stopped calling you sweetie because I felt that things were lacking between us that we were growing apart. Doubt grew between us. I know when someone is lying to me or at least doesn't tell me the whole truth. I just know. It's just like how we both have a feeling when we'll message each other. It's an instinct instilled in us. I know you hide things for my sake because you did say that white lies are okay as long as it won't hurt the other person but for me lies are lies even if you say they are white lies because white lies are lies that hide things from someone but nothing can stay hidden, the truth will be set free. And once it is free and it's been proven that one wasn't transparent it will hurt more to the person who was kept in the dark. People are not weak, you don't need to lie to them to protect their feelings. Especially me, I'm stronger than you think. I can face anything. I'm stronger knowing there are people who have my back and love me. Isnt that how it's supposed to be?

There are things I can't let go of. I dont want a relationship built on Lies, doubt, dishonesty and no transparency. I may say things that hurt. I may have a cold heart. But it was all to protect you from more trauma and hurt and to protect myself. I know I too have things I still have left unsaid, I want to tell you but there's always something stopping me.

My reaction is a reflection of anothers treatment to me. I've seen relationships and I've experienced my own set of tribulations and I'm sure you have too. Im not insensitive, quite the opposite, You started to not care as much. The doubt grew when you didn't want to open up to me, you would usually tell me about your day the first few weeks of getting to know each other and then you didn't open up as much. I know you're usually detailed when talking about something you're passionate about but that stopped. I had to ask instead of you naturally telling me... That's alright because that helped me be more inquisitive and curious about others. But that was one change. When I told you about it you tried opening up more but I dont like telling people what they should know already. What should have come naturally if you really respected me and my feelings.

I don't like how you made a big deal about my virginity and blamed me for it how I could have prevented it and called me naive and simply didn't understand why it happened and insisted it was my fault. You should have let me go then when I was asking for it. For you to question my situation when you've slept around with other women was an unfair way of taking it out on me. I didn't bring that up anymore because you said you didn't want to say things that I could hold against you. But I'm bringing it up here so I can finally let it go and show you how unfair your way of thinking was.

I know my reactions could have been more lax but when you care about someone when you feel pain you may react the way I did. This is the first time I ever cared about somone to the point I would get mad because I was hurt. I know I could've dealt with this more calmly. This was my first time experiencing this much pain and hurt. I didn't know what to do. If I knew I would've known how to deal with it. With you. You made me fall in love with you and you decide to get sick of me after everything I've shared with you. Way to show me I'm not worth it. Not worth the trouble especially knowing my background. Thanks a lot.

You shut down in front of me. Didn't come after me. Didn't hug me and tell me everything is alright. And you didn't let me see anything. You deleted everything instead of showing me. You hid something from me. I'm not stupid but you kept making me feel stupid and I wanted to ignore everything and accept what you said but if you think about it.... Why would she call you just because you had that sickness before. You're not a doctor. And why would she call you several times. I know you wanted to protect all the women you dated. But I wouldn't care about them if you showed me you cared about me more. You protected them. You hid things from me. When I asked you again why you didn't add me on fb, do you remember what you said? You said, why do I need to add you on fb. In an irritated voice. I got scared and embarrassed. So I shut up and didn't insist on it. But I've always wanted to tell you. I can take care of myself. If anybody tries to bully me I have you. If you can't save me from your exes I have me. And if they try to ruin my reputation so what it's not the truth because the truth was that you and I were dating and you were no longer with them. So tell me, what was I supposed to be afraid of? Could you not have protected me? Why were you so adamant about keeping me out of your fb if it was just something you used. Why did you hide things from me. Did you not trust me?

I need a strong man to be beside me through thick and thin to prove to me that I'm worth loving no matter how imperfect I am and to help me get through it by offering something more tangible and helpful instead of telling me to handle my emotions more. Making me feel like I'm to blame for everything being ruined because I overthink about the things I can't make sense of because YOU wouldn't give me details when YOU used to be so detailed about everything!

I'd rather have someone be honest with me with the truth instead of hurt me with lies out of kindness. That is not kindness that is something that will eventually cause pain. Nobody's perfect and I understand that, that's why I gave you chances and you gave me chances but time and time again you made me doubt you. And all I could do was blame myself because I knew things could have been better.

Remember when we didn't go out for valentines? I didn't mind until you said you went out to dinner with your ex during valentine's before. I felt less important... then you said you needed to be with hero that day....I understood that but I felt you were defensive because I already knew that and you said it in a way like "dont be unreasonable", I kept quiet because I didn't want to make a big deal out if it but if you really wanted to spend it with me even just a few hours you would have. There are times when you pick hero up late. But that day I wondered why were you acting that way. We were just starting and I wanted to let it go because I didn't want to sound petty and it didn't help when you said you felt guilty and couldnt explain why, as if you were hiding something. If you really wanted too you would have put an effort. But you didn't. And now that time is gone forever.

I didn't want to keep silent because this might help you understand women more. If you think loving and showing a girl effort is just by feeding them, picking them up and saying words of I love you and making love with them, anybody could do that. If our roles were switched I'd be happy to do all that for you knowing it would make life easier for you. I bet thats how you felt too when you picked me up. Like you said that's what I deserved. But effort is more then that. Time is the most important factor for me. And you were willing to give it to me. You were gonna spare two days to be able to see me while juggling your work and life. I appreciated that...

I always came back when you asked me too and that was because I liked, loved, and cared about you. It annoyed me when you could see through me, when you took my seperation fits as jokes and said I just missed you. That was truer than true. I missed you so much and I was going crazy without you and surrounded by the negativity of everything. I started becoming obsessed with you because I had nothing better to do. You were my whole world. But you were becoming busier and I felt like I was neglected. I knew you were busy and you were trying to find time for me amidst your busy schedule. This is where I lack, communication, being honest about what I want to say. Instead of just telling you what I want from you I just become quiet and keep it inside because I dont want to be insufferable and a bother. But I ended up becoming one... I guess it ended up that way in the end. I remember the time we first met, how you accepted me for my messy past and got mad for me. I see things through rose coloured glasses. Everyone is kind, everyone has a reason for what they do. There is a story on how that person became the way they were. I didn't want to accept the grey and dark parts of the world.

I remember you telling me not to meet the guy in rockwell, I remember we watched the joker and we ate at the burger place, I remember watching in festival cell number 7 filipino version and we walked a lot, I remember going to your roof top and how beautiful and peaceful it was. I remember staying at your place and eating out at different places. I remember the first time we took edsa going to your place and how there were so many busses and I thought to myself, if we could get to your place faster by using this route so I could spend more time hugging you I don't mind taking this route all the time, I remember eating at that vintage burger place. I remember the wings and burger and raspberry juice. I remember that other burger wings place with a huge garage and how a truck passed by and you introduced me as your girlfriend, I was surprised coz you didn't ask me yet but it made me happy but also confused, was this how relationships worked? I remember walking by the river near your place and how I wanted to walk more but I was so tired and I wanted to go to the place you wanted to show me but fatigue got to me. I remember when we were at cloud 9 and I pretended to be not scared of how high up we were while on the bridge and you were acting cute behind me and I just wanted to bite and pinch you. And also punch you because I was getting more scared coz you kept making kulit. I remember how fun it was going home.

I also remember how the next time we rode the motorbike together you were a bit cold. You didn't like me hugging you and said you were having a hard time but usually you would laugh and say you liked it. Also you said you didn't like it when I was putting your shirt up and I thought you did because when we were going from cloud 9 you were laughing it off.

I remember how you got so red when you drank and fell asleep. I remember there was the one time where we did it and it was the most ecstacy I've ever felt, but when I found out the sad things, like how you were still talking to your ex and how you felt like you were distancing yourself from me, making love and loving you started to hurt.

I remember how you changed to letting me bite you when I told you that you got mad when I bit you. I remember taking lots of pictures of us together and of you when we went to the national museum and how paranoid i was about COVID19. I liked seeing you so serious looking around and hiding from you every now and then. One of my fave memories was when we went to celebrate my bday and how much fun it was to watch you sing for me. How we both could just let loose in each other's company. I remember eating at an open ventilated space in Makati with beautiful lighting and how you couldn't eat properly becasue you were having a stomach ache. I remember the time we were in jolibee and you told me about your mom and what she went through and the reason why you came back and how weak she became and how you teared up. You were beautiful.

I'm sorry I let my overthinking cloud the beautiful memories we made. I'm sorry I couldn't show you how much I loved you. I'm sorry I was mean and hurtful to you. I'm sorry that I wasnt enough. I'm sorry for being toxic. I'm sorry I couldn't love you the way you wanted to be loved. I hope you find someone who can love you the way I know you deserve to be loved. We're both too hurt to mend things. Sometimes something broken can't be put together and it's best to carry the broken pieces, glue it together with someone else to create something even better and unique. This is the closure I can offer. I know you've chosen a better path and i can only hope we both find the happiness we deserve. I can't help but blame myself because I know I pushed you to the limit. You got tired of trying because you thought that I was mean and confusing. Because I was toxic and I knew that, that's why I chose this path.

I wanted to let you know how I felt not for you but for my peace of mind.

#bittersweetmemories #loveletter #painfulmemories #youth #confused #distraught #sadness #ending&partings #THEEND

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sunflowersunshinevol6 · 4 years

Text

Hello Harry

Part 2

Pairing: Harry Styles x Fem OC

Warnings: smut, prostitution, infidelity

A/N: hope you all enjoy this. Feedback always appreciated

-Shay

Part one

Camille's in the kitchen when he gets home. The moment he sees her the guilt he has felt plaguing him the whole drive home disappears, replaced with the hurt and anger yet again.

"Welcome home baby," she says cheerfully, as if she hasn't a care in the world. She comes to him, arms open, only to give a confused 'hmm' when he rejects her arms.

"We need to talk." He says flatly. She can tell something's wrong.

"Anything baby-"

"Don' call me tha'." He snaps. He sighs, rubbing his hand over his face, trying to figure out how to have this conversation. :I met Marie today." He uses her fake name, wondering if she had ever told Camille her real one. From the look on her face he can tell she never did.

"Oh...Harry please let me-"

"Why weren't you honest with me?"

"What could I say? That I paid a prostitute to teach me how to please you? Do you realize how humiliating that is?"

"If you wanted tips you could have read a fucking Cosmo for fucks sake Camille! You paid her to teach you tricks. Did you really do that for me or-" he can't bring himself to say it, his whole body rolling with rage, his hands shake at his sides, eyes burning with unshed tears.

"Harry." She reaches up but he jerks just out of her reach. "Harry it was for you...I never....I would never-"

"I'm moving out." He says flatly, surprising even himself. "I can't....I can't be here." He pushes past her towards the bedroom they once shared, painful memories of love and laughter, intimacy fill his mind as he packs a bag and throws it over his shoulder.

"Harry please dont do this," she begs as he walks towards the door. The slamming of it as he leaves his final word on the matter.

He doesn't really have anywhere to go, not at the moment. But he knows the motels around the place well enough to find somewhere to sleep. Or not sleep as the case may be. He can't really imagine resting right now, he feels too much to let go of wakefulness.

He can't really see being with Camille anymore, even though he still loves her, he can't look at her without thinking of Prudence, of what she's paid her for.

And what he has paid her to do.

He feels...not bad about it, his relationship was over before he paid a stranger to blow him. But he feels weird, like there was more to it, something about their meeting that wasn't finished when he found out the truth about Camile, and came down Rudi's throat. Something that hung there in the air after they'd said goodbye.

Rudi.

Where the hell did that come from?

Harry flips a thin motel pillow over his face, blocking out the flashing neon.

Sleep.

Sleep. Now.

Fuck.

Doors bang along the balcony of the motel the ice machine rumbles to itself and cars howl past on the freeway. Harry flips onto his front and buries his face in the stale bedding, the sheets itch at his naked back. He misses his bed, but missing that leads to missing other things. His home, his girl, his entire previous existence.

He wishes he'd gone for a place with a mini-bar. If he's going to be this pathetic he might as well be drunk.

Voices cross the walkway outside of his room. He cracks an eye at the clock on the wall – 4 am. The voices get nearer, a deep rough voice, taunting and cruel.

"C'mon Jezebel...come here..." indistinct shuffling and the bang of a thin door crashing against the wall in the room next to his own. Great. A lighter thud as someone, presumably the 'Jezebel' in question – "How much? How much for you...like this?" A man growled almost against the the paper thin walls "You suddenly worth more? Someone been filling your head with nonesense?" the laugh again. "Get on your knees, two hundred girl, you're going to work for it." Harry officially gives up on sleep at the first moan.

It's unpleasant, the guys voice is like a raspy like he smokes too many cigarettes. He keeps up a steady commentary, barking the occasional 'Faster' or the slightly more unpleasant 'God like that, fuck' which ruins about eight of Harry's childhood memories. After a long long time, the strangled groans of appreciation grown in both volume and frequency, ending in a growled out 'Fuck!' and then, blissful silence until...

"Swallow."

Harry wishes for death, or at least alcohol, now with more sincerity than before. He really should have factored in cheap hotel = hookers and loud sex. Clearly he wasn't thinking. Since he's going to be awake he figures he might as well stop pretending. He noticed a coke machine at the end of the walkway earlier and so he gets up, flicks on the TV and pulls on his pants, searching for change. He's ducking out the door when he hears it, on the walkway.

"Not worth two hundred, was it Jezebel" the voice has gotten, if anything, more unpleasant. Pressing and dangerously low. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Nothing you haven't paid for." Replies a a sharp and annoyed tone. Harry freezes, because it isn't a bimbo's voice, it's Prudence.

Small fucking world huh?

"You should only be using that mouth to suck my dick." Snarls the man.

Harry opens the door, telling himself that this isn't his business, but that he has to intervene.

A man, a little taller than Prudence, but thicker with muscle and wearing the long dark coat and expensive suit of a businessman has her backed against the railing just outside his door. Prudence is bravely trying not to shiver in the night air, despite the fact that it's drizzling and she's still in the thin T-shirt and jeans she was wearing earlier.

"Can I help you?" the asshole snaps. Prudence looks at Harry with faint surprise and perhaps a trace of relief.

"No but..." Harry's mind works quickly. "well...'Jezebel' and I? We have an outstanding appointment...don't we?" he tries to be gross and sleezy, slightly smirking, hoping he's pulled it off. The guy looks at him a moment longer, then backs away, scoffing.

"This bitch isnt worth it." He confides, he slaps Prudence's ass, causing her to flinch, jerking away.

Harry ignores him, waiting instead for the man to leave, getting into a silver BMW on the other side of the parking lot.

"You ok Rudi?" Prudence frowns at the name but nods, a smile curving her mouth but not reaching her eyes.

"Yes, thank you...I always expect the worst from Benjamin."

"He seems like a dick"

Harry doesn't really know what to say to that. Because sleeping with reasonable, nice person is one thing, getting shoved around by vicious pricks at the break of dawn in a sleazy motel...he feels sorry for her.

"You want to...I don't know, come in, for a while?" She pauses, hesitating on the walkway. "Not for...just to get it together? I'll give you a ride home if you want."

A genuine smile, small but bright, spread across her face.

"Thank you Harry"

It's a little awkward. She stands just inside the doorway, the tv on low, the glowing light illuminating her face with shadows. Harry can see she's shivering.

"You can use the blanket if you wan'" he says, gesturing towards the bed. She smiles with gratitude, not saying anything she walks over to the bed, pulling the cheap duvet up and around herself. Harry clears his throat. "I'm sorry...I don't know what to say."

"It's alright. You don't have to say anything." Harry nods, a thick knot growing in his throat, he swallows hard, thinking about her mouth, the way she had worked him to release earlier, his lip twitches. She seems to sense where his mind is going.

"Do you-?" She doesn't finish. He knows what she's asking.

"No. No I'm okay." He mentally slaps himself. He doesnt want to be that guy. He won't be.

"You don't have to be a gentleman."

"I take it you're not used to that?" She shrugs.

"Some of the guys are nice. The women can be sweet sometimes....but it's like a facade. They don't want to 'be like the rest' they play a game but we both know what they're there for and after a few minutes it's all the same."

"Why do it? I mean...do you enjoy it?" His cheeks heat up awkwardly. He's not sure why he's asking her this.

"Are you asking because of our encounter earlier?" Shit. She caught him.

"You seemed pretty into it." She smiles, laughing lightly. It's nice, helps him relax a bit.

"I was. It's rare that I get to enjoy myself like that but....it's more of a job to pay for what I really do."

"And what's that?"

"I paint." This surprises him. He never expected that she could be....so normal. Is that the right word. "My dad....he always encouraged me to follow my heart."

"Does he know what you do to support yourself?" She shakes her head.

"No. My dad....we havent talked in a while." The way she says it leaves no room for more questions. She shuts down the conversation. Harry nods. Rudi lays back, opening the duvet to him. "Do you mind if I sleep here? Just for a few hours? I'm exhausted. I promise to keep my hands to myself." He chuckles, laughing for the first time in what felt like ages.

"A few hours." He agrees. He lays down, making sure to keep his distance as best he can. He stares at the ceiling, listening to her as she quickly falls asleep. He turns his head. She looks peaceful, the dark shadows under her eyes standing out against her skin but she almost looks like a child sleeping soundly. It doesn't take him long to follow suit, falling into fitful slumber.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #solo harry #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot

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linoloverimagines · 5 years

Text

Burn (MIN YOONGI X READER ANGST) (inspired by the song “Burn” in hamilton)

Dating a non-famous person in the K-pop industry almost seemed like taboo especially if an Idol was dating a foreigner. So, being in a relationship with Min Yoongi one of the biggest boy groups in the industry was a bit of a challenge.

You weren’t a celebrity inside or outside of Korea, you weren’t anything special in the public eye, so getting hate may be heavier for you than other famous people dating idols. Since Yoongi was concerned about your safety and you understood the repercussions if the public found out, you agreed to keep your relationship a secret.

You two have been dating for more than a year now and for the first few months it felt amazing. It helped that you landed a job in big hit as a human resource officer, so you both always had the chance to hang out with each other within the walls of the building.

He would sneak you in his genius lab where you guys would eat, talk, and make love.

It felt perfect.

It came to a point where he asked you to moved into his apartment, you were skeptical at first because paparazzis might spot you with him, but he assured you that the complex was safe and private for celebrities.

He would also bring sample tracks home sometimes and make you listen to them. Seeing him being proud of his work brought happiness in your heart, but sometimes you wished he wasn’t such a workaholic.

You wished that he would have more time with you at home or even in the office, but you couldn’t be selfish since this is his dream and this is what he loves to do.

One day he made you go into his office to listen to a track, you were surprised by the unusual sweet melody and lyrics of the song. When he said that it was written about you and for you, your heart fluttered and you wondered how lucky you were to have such a hardworking yet sweet partner.

As months past by, you noticed that Yoongi comes later than he usually does and in some days he doesnt even go home.

You always tried to be supportive so you kept on getting updates from him or the other boys if he was fine or eating well.

When BTS finally went for a short hiatus, so the members could take a well-deserve break, Yoongi still worked on new tracks in his office. Luckily, one of their managers managed to kick him out and convince him that he needs to go home and rest.

He opened the door to your apartment and gave you a small smile “Hi.”

You ran up to hug him tightly “You’re home early!”

“Yeah....Sejin-nim managed to convince me to rest.”

“That’s great! I’ve missed you so much” you bury your head on his chest

“Ive missed you too, Jagi” he kissed your head

————————-

“Namjoon said that we needed to take a break from our break because we were offered to collaborate with a girl group. He said that it could help our group grow even more...” Yoongi explained why he had to come home late again

“It’s okay, i understand” you sighed “oh, by the way i have to go home next week... there was an emergency regarding my niece and they need me there. I’ll only be gone for a few days though” you informed

“Alright, be safe okay?” He kissed your forehead

—————-

“Y/N, isnt this Yoongi?” Your mom points to an article from a tabloid site on her phone

‘BTS’ Suga seen together with Red Velvet’s Joy in a restaurant’

You laughed it off “it’s probably just for publicity, mom. Their groups are making a collab song”

“Hmm...if you say so, but always remember what i said before i agreed to your relationship.” your mother looks at you with concern

You nodded

You shrugged off the article because it was probably nothing and you trust Yoongi too much to worry.

———————-

“I’ve missed you guys so much and i hope little ______ will be alright, keep updating me alright?” You say to your mom while hugging her goodbye

“You take on your flight, okay?” She kissed your forehead

While waiting for your plane to board, you decided to check new updates about your boyfriend’s boyband on their webpage. Hewas always too busy to update you or even just check up on you, but you understood because you knew how important music was to him.

‘ BTS’ Suga publicizes relationship with Red Velvet’s Joy’ written on the front page of their official site

Your heart dropped, but you needed to be rational. Maybe it was just a scheme to get their fans to get along?

You clicked on the article and saw a video pop up and in the video was your dear Min Yoongi holding hands with Joy.

Your heart sank even further

“I don’t know how or when, But it all just felt right when she finally said yes” Yoongi let out his gummy grin

Thoughts started to plagued your mind

“How can he do this to me?”

“Why did he do this to me?”

Your eyes were blurry with tears, but you were interrupted by a man who tapped you on the shoulder

“Uh, miss i think it’s time to board the plane”

You quickly snap out of your state “oh yes yes, thank you.”

—————————-

During the entire plane ride, you couldn’t sleep. All you did was think of the different things that you could do to Yoongi such as choke him to death, yell at him, or just quietly exit out of his life. You didn’t know what to do and you actually wished that the plane would just crash, so you wont have to feel that hurt anymore.

When you finally arrived at the apartment complex, you looked like your soul was drained out of your body. The flight was 11 hrs and you haven’t had any sleep nor have you eaten anything since you saw the dreadful article.

You opened the door and you were greeted with familiar laughs from familiar male voices mixed with the giggles from females.

Ahhh, the whole boyband was here along with their new girlfriends, including the person your man replaced you with. Perfect.

The laughs stopped when they saw you come in, you scanned the room and there he was sitting next to Joy, looking lovely and bright while you looked like an absolute mess.

“Y/N.” Yoongi immediately stood up and walked over to you.

You could feel your tears welling up again, but you tried to keep your composure.

You couldn’t even mutter a single word without breaking down, all you could do was sigh.

You walked pass him and dragged your luggage to your shared bedroom and he quickly followed.

“Why did i even come here?” You thought

“I can explain everything, I promise” he blurted out

You motioned your hand signaling him to keep talking

“I don’t love her, but i needed to do it for the promo. I’m sorry....” he muttered

“Do you know what my mother said? When you asked me to be yours? She said ‘be careful with that one, love. He will do what it takes to survive.’ No wonder you kept me a secret, you and your words flooded my senses, your sentences left my defenseless! But you’re more Obsessed with your legacy than you are in love with me! You are paranoid on how the public with perceive you if they found out you were dating someone irrelevant!” You cried out

“You told the whole world how you brought this girl into our lives and in wanting to achieve more, you have ruined our relationship!” You added as you bawled out your anger and hurt.

“Min Yoongi, I can’t do this....” You dragged your luggage out of the apartment as he tried to chase after you

“y/n... wait please.” He begged grabbing your wrist

“You are very talented y’know that? You can still succeed without pretending to date someone famous. I-I just cant let myself become this hidden part of your life that you’re ashamed of...” you shook his grip off

“It’s not that I’m ashamed of you, it’s just that... Agh, i dont, agh” he struggled to find the right words

“Goodbye, Min Yoongi”

You walked away and this time, he didn’t follow you anymore.

#burn #min yoongi angst #min yoongi imagines #bts imagines #min yoongi reactions #bts angst #bts x reader #reader x bts #bts reactions #suga angst #suga reactions #suga imagines #suga #bts #bangtan imagines #bangtan angst #bangtan

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umbillicalnoose · 5 years

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i think that you would think im pretty and would like my poetry and i want to share it with you. im shy.

to be honest, im very apathetic these days. im not the nice “cutesy baby flower petal boy” i used to be. a lot has happened & im bitter & sullen & all in all, a pretty shitty friend/person to know. i used to possess some redeeming qualities, believe it or not, even if they were construed by the subconscious in an attempt to be likeable - a facade, even tho its only a facade, is still tangible, still there, is still something, even if not authentic. is poorer character forgivable in the name of presenting more authentically? but nah. that makes it sound like im putting effort into being a better person, which im not. im just sort of fried & done. its been a very long time since i played the role i built for myself on here of the “small fawn boy who wants to help girls” lmaooo. how embarrassing. altho, i was just a kid, & i guess, if you had a tumblr as a teenager, you went thru some cringe (i know the use of that word has fallen in on itself & adopted its own definition but for lack of a better one) ass phases, whether it was kinning or malingering mental illness or oh fucking christ, all that gender bullshit, etc etc. from what ive observed, tho, loosely following kids im still casually friends with that i met on here, i think we’ve all managed to Grow The Fuck Up, at least a little. most of us have jobs or r in school or have partners - growing up & moving on is a very surreal experience to watch/go thru. im moving at my own pace & ive accepted that - im still currently using & starving myself & concocting a suicide plan every day but at least i use clean needles as much as possible, i actively & honestly do strive for the bare minimum calorically, & um able to work with the mentality of “well ill have this when i need it but todays not that day” a lot more readily, in relation to suicide shit. ive finally found a therapist who Really Gets It, is a frontrunner internationally on ritual & extreme abuse & mind control. its pretty incredible what a few years with a good therapist can do. anyways. im sorry, i know you didnt ask for all this & im not even sure why i divulged. i guess, what tipped me off, was your attempt at sounsing “cute” - dude, cut that shit out, i promise youll be a lot better off. & i know everyone interchanges aspects of their personality based on who theyre talking to/who they percieve themselves to be talking to, but i feel like not a lot of people give enough credence to the internet & its hand in shaping/molding young people, kids, vulnerable dumbasses, especially tumblr (tho, i get that its a relatively new phenomenon) - u get a bunch of the “weird”, “alternative”, ““ostracized” kids together on a website, of course its gonna nurture a culture of hypervalidatoon & pretending to be sick in order to fit in to the point that its not an act anymore & exacerbation of symptoms & basically, just sucking each others dicks, sitting in ur own shit, & never ending coddling. & then, you have the older group of kids, who have played this game before but instead of helping or ignoring the Dumbshit kids, they indulge their own normally-buried-but-unleashed-by-internet-anonymity sadism/human instinct to just be fucking dicks & so now you have this vicious cycle of anger & hatred & fucking melodrama up the urethra. im sorry, i know im comig off as/am being harsh but god fuckin dammit yknow? also, this isnt directed at you, specifically, more of a generalized thing, @ myself included. so uh. i mean, if u still wanna share it with me after reading all this, id be happy to read ur poetry. i used to be over the top nice & then reverted to Major Asshole & am now trying to find that sweet middle spot - honoring & allowing myself to share my pain without putting it on others. which is really hard!! cuz becoming a Dick was difficult in that it forced me to be more honest with my true self & as such, more vulnerable - now in trying to become Kinda Nice again because despite being a pulsating scrotom, ive had the intense desire for friendship & human interaction, while simultaneously doing things that i was consciously aware was pushing others away - but then, if i pretend to be nice, where does that authenticity i worked for & was so scared of go? & i dont mean telling someone their new haircut looks nice even when it doesnt - thats just not being a dick. but i guess, those r the normal trials & tribulations of any relationship & adolescent developing identity. which is weird too - dealing with “normal” issues, i mean. whats the point if your life/limbs/breaking point arent at risk? whats the point when your best friends already dead. im sick of people calling "survivors” (despise that word, so fucking female-originated & overdramatic) “brave” & “strong” - surviving is not brave or strong. its just survival. you wouldnt call an animal brave for running for its life from a predator but you would call a dog courageous for going into a burning building to save its owner. premeditated action on the notion that you are probably going to be hurt is brave. being subjected to pain with no choice is not. theres no “silver lining” or anything “good” to be drawn from it either - sure it may have made x a more compassionate person or made y more introspective & gentle but you know what would have been even fucking better??? if the shit hadnt happened in the first place! let x be an asshole & y be self absorbed - the “benefits”, so to speak, do not outweigh the cost, not by a long fucking shot. its not only patronizing to hear garbage like that, but a slap in the face to know that anyone could possibly see anything good coming from that nightmare & that the characteristics, good or bad, you developed either in response to or as a result of, are worth praise. dont tell me im strong for doing what i had to to escape a torture chamber - tell me im perseverant for studying my ass off & passing that test last week. in the words of one of my dearest & most fucking brilliant friends, “pain doesnt owe me/you purpose - the need to intellectualize & assign meaning to pain & death is not only futile, but harmful.” & honestly, i think that it stems from weakness (in most cases - i realize theres a plethora of other reasons such as those who r just desperate for something to hold on to or r hyperintellectual & analytical or who have been pressured by external “support” systems to find the “good” etc etc) - while the majority of people view the person who “can find the good in everything” (strictly speaking only in relation to trauma/tragedy here & more in denunciation of those that celebrate this trait as opposed to vilifying “survivors” who respond this way, though in my experience, its very very very rarely the “survivor” that perpetrates this ideology ) as strong, i sort of see it as a weakness - their inability to sit with & absorb their own pain or that of others is so strong that not only do they have to frantically pull rainbows out of the teeth of a meat cleaver, they also have to exist within this strange (tho, not malicious - more subconscious) superiority complex. like, nah, dude, some times shit is just awful. you cant tell me anything fucking good came out of a four year old girl being kidnapped, gangraped, & tortured for two years, before being impaled & left to die on a stake. her mom opened a non profit organization? oh well thank fucking god for that!!! those that believe the latter to be more “enlightened” or whatever the fuck r the same people who say shit like “dying is easy - living is harder” & i get that that its supposed to be interpreted metaphorically for the most part - giving up is easy, trying isnt (which also.....isnt true??? admitting defeat & fully accepting the fact that ur fucking helpless is beyond hard lmao???) - but pretend youre somewhere, anywhere outside ur sunny little fucking yoga studio full of white women whos biggest issues r the pta & johnny whos failing math, & lets say your life is in real, imminent danger, a gun is to your head & i want you to not scream or cry or beg for ur life since dying is “easier”. if dying is so easy, why do the majority of ppl cling to it with such desperation - why is suicide illegal? why do some ppl go thru 100s of chemo treatments even tho the doctors say theyre just prolonging the inevitable, ppl who cut off a diseased arm so it wont spread, those who walk dozens of miles every day for food & water, etc? & i know & understand the survival instinct better than anyone, even when i wanted to die more than anything, my natural instincts would kick in with no conscious neural input & id do what i had to do. im not condemning those who cling to life (ok - a little. ur wasting resources out of ur own fear. but i also realize thats just me being a Fucking Asshole As Always cuz technically, im doing the same thing tho its more due to lack of opportunity rather than fear. i just think, societally, death should be more normalized, discussed, & not made out to be so unknown & scary), instead just reprimanding those who say shit like that (inspirational facebook quotes). especially cuz most of the ppl who do spew that shit have never gone thru anything even remotely difficult - their worst nightmare is a Big Scary Black Man grabbing them on the street, mugging them, & touching their tits. & i also know that these stupid ass sayings are to be applied to bullshit like exercise & fitness (“no pain no gain” is another one of my Favorites) & not fucking torture or even just ur run of the mill rape, even that would probably smash the rose tinted banana republic shades off their beverly hills tanned faces. but ive heard the no pain no gain one a handful of times in the last few weeks, specifically from doctors performing procedures in preparation for my bottom surgery. & i know its supposed to be encouraging & they have no way of knowing, but its just like, buddy, u have no idea who youre fucking talking to. & im starting to understand what THEY mean when they say it - pain with a reward is infinitely more tolerable than pain just for the sake of pain; like, a tattoo, it hurts, but u know, when its done, its gonna be sick as fuck. when u r able to fall back on the idea that its for something u rlly want, its A Lot easier to handle as opposed to pain thats Just Pain - theres no reward for it except, i guess, that the more u experience it, the closer u r to the end of it lmao. i mean, i still hate when ppl say it cuz for most of my life, pain was just pain, & the “reward” was the opportunity to go home at the end & so whenever ppl say that, my mind just immediately resorts back to that & im just like haha fuck u. but im trying to remember my experiences r definitely not universal & im starting to sorta understand what they mean i think. but, flipping gears here, & going back to the sentiment of “everything happens for a reason”, the base philosophy of psuedo deep Fuckwads - a girls dad didnt fuck her “for a reason”, everything doesnt happen “for a reason”. like ok, hypothetically, the kid he impregnated her with & that she was forced to have at 12 may surpass all odds & not become a homeless junkie & instead become a world renowned doctor who finds the cure for cancer. but she wasnt raped repeatedly from the age of six for that “reason”, no matter what anyone says & honestly, the liberation of the masses does not justify the suffering of one, especially a child. in my eyes at least. but again, im a bitter asshole. sorry i just Went The Fuck Off here oh my god.....if u read all this, thanks, pal. if not, thats cool too. but yea, send me ur stuff, id totally be down to read it. as for me potentially thinking ur cute, i have to look at my disgusting shitstain of a “face” every goddamn day so everyone else to me is fuckin aphrodite. but im also tryin to not put so much worth into physical appearance- its not something that should be complimented cuz its just smth a person was born with which is the same reason it shouldnt be insulted. this is gonna sound gay & stupid but i personally find that a persons essence & personality really permeates. you can meet someone who, objectively, isnt all that great looking, but once u get to know them, u really see their beauty - how the sun catches in their hair, their dilated pupils looking up at u from under long eyelashes in the dark, the birthmark on their right shoulder that they despise but that is so Them, the gap in their teeth, etc. & idk how to phrase this without it sounding like “well ur ugly but at least ur a good person”, cuz that only reiterates the societally indoctrinated emphasis on appearance & my kneejerk reaction to assure the person in question that thats not what im saying is only another result of that!!! its inescapable!!! but no, really, its not just a matter of “its on the inside that counts” - physically, they change or maybe, actually this is more likely, when i first meet them, my “default” eyes r just looking for features that i know im immediately attracted to (tall, blonde, sickly as in sunken eyes sticklike pale but still looks like she could & will beat the shit out of me) but as i fall in love or get to know them better, my eyes adjust & i notice & adore the beauty that was there all along. so uh. idk if ill think ur “cute”. but probably, yes, ill think ur an angel.

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ruffiorocks · 5 years

Text

Long Post on How Lena being ‘evil’ after the reveal would be a disservice to her entire character arc.

Extract from an interview with Jon Cyer:

"If Lex does end up revealing the truth about Supergirl to Lena, it could have devastating impact. Kara herself attempted to reveal the truth to Lena but stopped as it became clear that the revelation would be extremely damaging to Lena after all of the lies and manipulations she's endured thanks to Lex. It's the kind of damage that would definitely fall under the label of "evil" and could even set up a major conflict for Supergirl next season."

What even is this statement? The last part doesn't even make sense:

"It's the kind of damage that would definitely fall under the label of "evil" and could even set up a major conflict for Supergirl next season."

Damage isnt evil, damage is just damage. It's not like you can have good damage. So Lena learning Kara is Supergirl would inflict damage and then she falls under the label of 'evil'? Completely destroying her as a character. This just says that Lena will immediately become evil (such a strong word) as soon as she learns Kara is Supergirl.

I'm sorry ... But what the actual f**k? So they're just going to go down the same road that Game of Thrones went with Dany in the last episode?

"I'm here to save people, not burn them"

5 mins later

"f**k you all I'm pissed off and I'm going to kill every man, woman and child because I can".

Supergirl writers like to borrow heavily from from Smallville. Well the Lex Luthor of Smallville wasnt immediately evil. Lex was actually a good guy at the start, he was a play boy but he wasnt really so bad. He did however have some moral grey areas. Lex was best friends with Clark, but from day one he was curious about how he managed to survive going off the bridge and the damage done to his car and no damage done to Clark. But Lex didnt immediately go after Clark, he genuinely loved and cared about him almost like a brother. It was Clark that kept going out of his way to keep lying to an overly curious Lex who gave him more than one opportunity to come clean to him. Lex was driven crazy because he knew there was something up with Clark but Clark kept acting like Lex was delusional. Lex was used and abused by his father who favored Clark from the moment he met him. But Lex did a lot of good things in the earlier series, he was ultimately always put down due to his name though. Visions of him in a white suit with blood rain just meant that no matter what Lex did his destiny was to be bad and thats how he would then be treated which ironically is what drove those visions to come true.

So are they just going to recycle this with Lena? The only differences being that Lena hasnt done any evil things and she hasnt been trying to expose Kara because she's oblivious?

Lena has literally done NOTHING but help Supergirl, National City and help save the world several times since she first appeared. Lena isn't perfect, she has a dark side when pushed to her limit, she went to shoot Edge because he was poisoning children. She even told Kara she went and did this. It wasn't a secret.

Lena is pro gun? Doesn't make her evil, it's not like people aren't trying to kill her every 5 minutes and soldier or not Alex is way to gun happy. Alex has also basically been an alcoholic who is in charge of firearms since she was first introduced.

Lena killed Adam? Lena made a mistake, one that is haunting her. She didn't hold a gun to Adams head and pull the trigger cackling like a maniac. I’ve said it once and ill say it again, if Lena is guilty of ‘murdering’ Adam then Jonn is 100% guilty of murdering Manchester Black, a man he had already disarmed and killed purely because Manchester taunted him and and Jonn got pissed off. Even Kara looked shocked when she asked where Manchester was, but then immediately she was fine with it and was like ‘dont worry, one murder doesn't mean you cant be a man of peace’.

The biggest problem with Lena ‘turning evil’ after learning Kara is Supergirl is that that would would imply that Lena being a good person has been entirely dependent on her relationships with both Kara and Supergirl! What the hell? I mean i love Kara but she isnt a freaking God!! Lena’s personality has never been dependent on anyone but herself. Lena was a good person long before she ever set eyes on Kara or Supergirl. Lena was the one that dropped Lex in it remember? Why the hell would they reduce Lena from a complex character to a one dimensional character whose heroic and good personality was entirely dependent on her relationship with Kara/Supergirl?

That is exactly what they did to Kara in season 3, she stopped being ‘Kara Danvers’ the moment Mon El left because even though she had a life, job, a human family and friends and was Kara Danvers long before he showed up she suddenly couldn't be that person anymore because her boyfriend wasn't around? Her entire character was reduced to her being dependent solely on him? That’s not Mon El hate by the way, its hate for the writers.

It would be ridiculous for Lena to instantly forgive Kara for lying her to. To be honest i would be more disappointed in Lena if she was absolutely OK with all of this rather than letting Kara know she’s royally f**ked up! Kara its true doesn't owe her identity to anyone, God even Lena probably would have questioned her if she had instantly revealed herself to her. But the problem is that Kara knows she can trust Lena, she has known this for years. Kara has also revealed her secret to people she has known for less time than she has known Lena and to people she barely knows at all (Nia). Yes she told Nia out of solidarity but Kara has had way more solidarity moments with Lena than she had with Nia. Plus Kara didn't really know Nia at all, Nia could have been playing her the whole time. Lena on the other hand is her best friend and has helped save the world, worked with the DEO and saved Supergirls life and ass many times over.

Kara let the secret go on for far to long, in addition she told other people. Kara used the excuse that it was to keep Lena safe because her enemies would go after Lena. But that is just crap because Lena already has her own enemies, she deals with those enemies. Plus Kara never seemed to care that her enemies could have gone after Winn, James, Nia etc. It was a decent excuse in the beginning but then it became invalid the longer its gone on. Lena knowing Kara is supergirl would probably make her much safer in retrospect, Lena could have just called Kara or been given a fancy watch like a certain someone. The worst part though is that Kara has known since season 2 that Lillian Luthor knows who she is, she also knows that Lex Luthor knows who she is and Lena could have been told by them at any point. Lillian has had years to tell her and could of done. Kara has sat back and just hoped the Luthors wont out her? That is probably the worst story line Kara has EVER had! Kara may not want to hurt Lena with the truth but it would hurt way more coming form Lex!! Kara will reep what she sows here.

On top of this Kara hasnt just been pretending to be two different people to Lena, she has been acting like Jekell and Hyde. Lena and Supergirl have come to an understanding over the whole Reign/Kryptonite issue, but Lena only thinks she's come to an understanding with Supergirl. Lena doesnt know that it was actually her best friend treating her like garbage and with hostility the whole time, then coming back to her as Kara and being all besties again. THAT RIGHT THERE is where the betrayal lies. It isnt that Kara kept being Supergirl a secret from her, its that Kara betrayed her trust as Supergirl and was horrible to her. Lena had Kryptonite purely to help try and save Sam, but Supergirl immediately took it all personally not really giving a second thought to Sam at all. She just assumed that Lena was out to get her and then she started to try and pull rank on Lena, but Supergirl was left gob smacked because low and behold Lena Luthor wasn't beholden to the Girl of Steel like Supergirl expected her to be. Supergirl was given a harsh lesson in where she actually stands in the authority department.

To make it even worse Supergirl enlisted Lena’s then boyfriend to betray her trust and break into her company to spy on her to check she wasnt a liar. James actually does this without to much hesitation, he even enlists Winn’s help. That right there is four betrayals against Lena, where she only assumes it was the one. Lena forgave James, (i dont know why, he still broke into L Corp, he only grew a conscience at the very last second) and holds Supergirl responsible. Lena only thinks it was Supergirl who used her boyfriend against her. Lena will soon find out however that it wasnt just Supergirl, it was her best friend, her boyfriend and even Winn her other friend who all betrayed her. Lena is going to learn that all of the above was actually her the work of her best friend the entire time, then that best friend would come back to her and listen to her mention these betrayals.

Back to James, James had absolutely no reason to throw Supergirl under the bus. He just ‘had to be honest with Lena’ ? How about you dont break into her personal property and betray her trust in the first place? James knew for a fact that Supergirl and Lena were having a beef, he knew full well that if Lena knew what Supergirl had asked him to do she would be even more hurt and angry at Supergirl but he did it anyway. This is exactly what happened because Lena told Kara that Supergirl had used the people she cares about against her and she can never trust her again. At least Kara had the good sense to look guilty. But the other side to this is that once Lena finds out that James knew it was actually ‘Kara’ that betrayed her she will be even more hurt. She will have been doubly betrayed by both Kara and James!

Kara:

1. Treated her crap as Supergirl

2. Enlisted Lena’s boyfriend to betray her

James:

1. Actually did break into L Corp betraying Lena, for some bizarre reason was forgiven. Then he threw Supergirl under the bus to gain Lena’s trust without a thought to the lasting damage it would have.

2. James actually knew the whole time it was Kara being an ass to Lena and it was Kara who was asking James to betray Lena. James then put the last nail in the coffin for Supergirl and Lena’s friendship, but at the same time allowed Lena to continue believing that Kara wasn't the one that betrayed her. James allowed Lena to employ/confide in and be around the very person she declared she could no longer trust. James even enlisted Winn to help betray Lena, Winn being one of Lena’s friends.

If Kara suffers in the aftermath, (which she will) then i want James to suffer the consequences of that betrayal as well. To those that would say ‘Lena is a liar and keeps secrets’ well Lena’s secrets have never directly had anything to do with the Superfriends, she doesn't keep them to hurt anyone, or tell them to hurt anyone. Lena doesn't have to tell Supergirl everything she is doing because Supergirl isnt her boss, she didn't have to tell James everything but she did actually reveal a lot to him. Lena actually told everyone about her super humans idea but they all dismissed it immediately, Lena doesn't have to stop though because some people dont approve.

So to have Lena go bad after spending all of the time fighting Lex and Lillian, saving the alien population from genocide, saving the city from Daxamites, saving Supergirls life more than once, coming to work with the DEO even when she has beef with Supergirl, doing her best to try and help save Reign, manufacturing Harun El to make sure that Argo City never dies, begging Supergirl to let her die so she can save the people from the chemical on that plane, agreeing to marry Mon El to save a children's hospital, buying Cat Co to keep the free press free? Suddenly all that is erased because she is lied to by her best friend? NO! If lies and deceit were enough to send Lena over the edge it would have already happened, she can survive multiple betrayals and assassination attempts from her family, the people of National City making her a pariah, Rhea betraying her, Alana betraying her, Eve betraying her? Jack's death? But the icing on the cake that makes her snap is Kara betraying her? NO! What a disservice to Lena as a character! It would also cancel out the conversations she had with Sam when she was telling her she knew she was a good person no matter what and all the conversations she’s recently had with Brainy about having emotions.

Plus to make Lena, who has fought the Luthors at every turn to suddenly snap and say ‘f**k it im going to complete Lex’s life work’ is insanity.

Ultimately, the social lesson of the day here is if your family is s**t then you are s**t. No kids dont bother trying to be good people, you are lost causes. We dont care that you became a paramedic, or a fire fighter, or a soldier, or a surgeon or anything. You ARE crap and you will always be crap! The lesson is ‘never try’. Everyone else on this show has had trauma and betrayal in their lives but they still get to be heroes? Jonn? Alex? Kara? Winn? All had some trauma or family issues but nope they arent allowed to be bad guys. If having a bad family makes you bad then Alex should be because of her dad, Winn should be because of his dad and Kara absolutely should be because of her parents and her aunt and uncle.

The only thing that would make sense after the reveal is Lena having nothing at all to do with Kara, probably selling Cat Co and cutting pretty much every one of the Superfriends from her life. Where would they go from there with her? Well Lena has no reason to turn her attentions to hurting them or the people of National City. She doesn't stop being who she is due to betrayal. So maybe Lena finds a way to be a hero on her own refusing to help Supergirl anymore. I still 100% believe though that if Kara was hurt Lena would come and help no matter what, because that has always been who she is and her good nature and sanity has NEVER been dependent on Kara. Kara is not the centre of everyone universe.

#supergirl #lena luthor #kara x lena #kara danvers #anti guardiancorp #anti james olsen #jonn jonzz #alex danvers #nia nal #winn shott #samantha arias #lex luthor #lillian luthor #eve teschmacher #eve tessmacher

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irlmic · 5 years

Text

hmmms SO I napped a little today and while I was in and out I thought about a hizashi working with nedzu to catch the traitor and the plan included making mic a plausible person to frame! so basically going out of his way to get the rest of the staff to dislike or even hate him—Some aren’t hard, they aren’t good enough friends to really have anything built up. some are more difficult, people who are too kind to think poorly of others.

and then there’s shouta— and he knows this will hurt the most, but he needs everyone to dislike and doubt his intentions—and he knows all of his buttons, so there’s no one better for the job!

(And the thing is, shouta knows that there’s something going on, that the behavior is intentional. It stung the first few times, but when it kept happening it started to come clear that it was intentional— well, shouta starts to try to figure out why he’s doing it. He watches helplessly as hizashi becomes more isolated from his peers, shunned in places he would flourish. Even Nemuri is calling him annoying, lately)

(he’s horrified when snipe suggests he’s the traitor and he’s just getting antsy.)

(read more for discord discussion of the plot with some writing tidbits)

fish: (Shouta stares helplessly from his desk as Nemuri steps and stands like a wall in front of Hizashi, blocking the door. He can see the way Hizashi responds, hands creeping up to rest on his hips and head cocked. He doesn’t need to see his face to know that there’s a sharp grin.

“Mic,” Nemuri starts, Hizashi showing no obvious flinch at his hero name or the tone, “you need to either take a vacation or quit.” A moment of silence passes, enough to attract looks from the rest of the staff.

Snipe looks pissed, his body set in a hard line. Ectoplasm’s mouth is set in a frown, eyes staring into Hizashi’s back. Even Toshinori is shuffling, rubbing his arm absently. Most are of the same.

“And why’s that, Midnight?” Hizashi finally asks, issuing a challenge in his voice. Shouta can’t remember the last time he heard it and it didn’t sound sharp and so uncharacteristic for his friend.

“You’ve been upsetting the students—“

“Well, they haven’t been doing a good job, yeah? Can’t quit and leave them with no English teacher when they’re falling this far behind.” Hizashi interrupts, jabbing his finger into her space. That’s two of Nemuri’s biggest peeves, and her face darkens in an answer.

“They certainly don’t need a dick for a teacher, either.” She says, voice carefully in line. “In fact, it just so turns out that you’re not the only one who speaks English fluently on staff.” Hizashi makes a show of scoffing.

“Right, the teacher who gets his techniques out of a book. Don’t make me laugh, it’s not April Fools!” Hizashi barely wastes time to shoulder past Nemuri, leaving the room deadly silent. Toshinori is hanging his head down, eyes squeezed shut. Nemuri’s doing breathing exercises, rubbing at a temple.

Shouta has a sinking feeling.)

@balentay : shouta watches quietly, uneasy and unsettled. He catches Hizashi's unguarded moments when his shoulders slump and he seems down. But then he catches himself and its back to his act

fish: yes— and he doesn’t know how to approach hizashi without having the man pick through him cruelly, try and cut him away from his space

he would think that maybe found out about his feelings and was disgusted but he can’t, not when hizashi is being standoffish to everyone else as well

(Hizashi knows how to hit at every one of his insecurities. It takes his breath away when he’s called emotionless, punches him in the gut when he’s called a poor friend. yet shouta knows— this is not hizashi. It is him— shouta used his quirk once when his back was turned, fearing that he’d turn into a small, sharp-eyed girl or fall away into liquid across the floor, only to find that he remained just the same— but this is not who hizashi is. He’s just got to bare through it, find the common thread behind the sudden behavior.)

@balentay : so he watches. he watches the man alienate the staff slowly but surely. he watches as slowly but surely each face closes off and hardens whenever hizashi enters the room (he swaggers now, a cruel and confident smile curling his lips that sets Shouta's teeth on edge. this is not Hizashi, he reminds himself. he has to be doing this for a reason. but what?).

how even thirteen, amiable , friendly thirteen eventually grows sick of him and leaves him alone.

he alienates the students too. this is... not okay, but shouta cant confront him without playing his hand or forcing hizashi's. not when he doesnt have all the facts

fish: (He doesn’t even realize that they weren’t communicating at all outside of UA, not even to share their patrol times with each other until two months into the charade. He recognizes the fear settling low in his stomach, a cold anticipation weighing him down.

It’s realized when a meeting at UA is called with specific instructions not to inform Hizashi in any way. When Snipe suggests that Hizashi is the traitor, he feels it in the way that he’s the only one ready to object. Even looking at Nemuri, she has a thinly veiled irritancy marking her face. When another teacher mentions that Hizashi is pushing for information he wouldn’t normally have, the room breaks out into murmurs— except for shouta, who is dead silent and afraid.

He thinks he understands now.)

@balentay : its hard to breath when he realizes what hizashis doing. its like the weight of the world is crushing down on him all while the realization hangs suspended and crystal clear.

(he still watches his friend for days afterwards, hoping against hope he's wrong. that his friend isnt being stupidly, nobly self sacrificing. but what other answer is there?

he approaches hizashi when he's absolutely certain, catching hizashi's car door when he swings it open to go home. hizashi, who's been so absorbed in his own world, startles and stares at him with wide eyes for a moment before he recovers and arranges himself against him car so he can lounge and smirk.

"eraser" he practically purrs. he lets his eyes roam up and down shouta's body in a way he knows his friend hates. shouta feels his lips press together, but he refuses to rise to his friends' taunt. "what can i do for you?"

"hizashi, we need to talk.")

(and hizashi? is still too pathetically gone on his best friend to say no. they get in his car and they drive off. shouta doesnt let him take him home. hizashi doesnt offer.

instead, they drive out of town and to the middle of nowhere. where shouta can safely demand answers.

that doesnt mean hizashi is expecting him to. later, he'll wonder why hes so surprised shouta worked out what's going on or saw right through him)

fish: (hizashi, who hates that he's hurting everyone in his immediate circle.)

(who fears that even after his intentions are revealed after the true traitor is captured that his friends will never see him the same way again.)

("Shouta," Hizashi says, his voice a stuttering mess. The talk hadn't been pleasant, pushing Hizashi to the edge of tears. He's a people pleaser at heart, and to be hurting everyone and alienating anyone he cares for-- well, it's too much. "Shouta, you've got to treat me horribly, Shouta. It's the only way this will work." He's aware that he keeps repeating Shouta's name but-- he's got to get it out of his system, clinging to what little time he has to be himself.

"Hizashi, you don't need to do this--" Hizashi cuts him off with a jerking shake of his head, grounding his hands on Shouta's shoulders. He slumps, and breaths out.

"I've got to, Shou. I'm the best candidate. Nedzu will start a private investigation and find me guilty with planted evidence. I'll go to Tartarus. It'll give you and Nedzu the time you need to catch the real traitor.")

(Shouta rapidly inhales. Hizashi, in Tartarus-- for crimes he didn't commit, to give everyone else an opportunity to catch the traitor getting cocky. Shouta can feel a tremor in his own body, and while he's not on the cusp of tears like Hizashi, he wouldn't be surprised for his eyes to leak tears. He feels stupid for not realizing sooner what Hizashi's plan was. He feels like a failure for not catching on sooner, for not having a better alternative that doesn't leave his friend caged like an animal with some of the most notorious villains of their time.)

(Shouta is not okay.)

@balentay : tbh the only way this could possibly be better is if the car scene ends in a confession and a kiss and then theyre both expected to just go about their lives pretending hizashi is the traitor and shouta hates him

fish: oh tru

@balentay : ("hizashi.... i love you." shouta says, pleads in a rare moment of desperation. hizashi's eyes well up with tears and his face twists.

"please don't do this to me shouta." he begs. the tears spill down his cheeks. "not now")

fish: (Recognition flickers in Shouta's heart and it hurts to find out his feelings are reciprocated now.

"I need to tell you--"

"No, you need to hate me, if you don't they may just kill you next time--"

Recognition flickers in his mind and now? It makes crystal clear sense.)

ANYWAYS there u go i was told to post it and posting without the context seems weird so here u go, discord angst hell time,, i may write it but if anyone is Extra inspired feel free

#erasermic #yamada hizashi #present mic #aizawa shouta #eraserhead #discord hell #that's a new tag to document all the plots my hecking discord talks about

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