#the good news is that the exam I have on Thursday is the last one

[shrews-things]

Soooo tired so so so sooo miserably tired,,,, can I be a bug under a snug flat rock please

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 45

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military School

Words : 6k

Masterlist

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Thursday, February 4th; 9:30 AM - Parking.

Lucy revved her car up to the entrance where my mother was waiting for us. She was talking to the elderly lady at the reception, someone I’ve always liked. One of the few here, actually.

"Move to the back."

"What? Why?"

"You’re not seriously going to let your mother sit in the back, are you?"

The back door opened at the same time. Before I had a chance to react, my mother climbed onto the seat and closed the door.

"This is quite a car you have!"

"Thanks," she smiled proudly. "But you don’t have to sit in the back. Ona will give you her seat."

"Oh no! I’m perfectly fine here. And for the love of God, stop being so formal with me! It makes me feel ten years older."

I held back a laugh as I saw Lucy's expression. She definitely wasn’t expecting that response, unlike me. My mother has always been very friendly with my friends, even when we’re not on the best terms. Lucy gave up the battle and resumed driving through the streets of Manchester. On the way, she suggested we take a stroll down a pedestrian street, which seemed to delight my mother. I was pleased as well since I hadn’t had a chance to visit it yet.

"So... How long have you been doing this job?" my mother asked.

"This is my fourth year," Lucy replied. "I was trained for a year. I became independent quickly."

"Is this what you’ve always wanted to do?"

"Oh no," she chuckled. "It’s just a transitional job. My best friend and I are working on a project. We plan to start our own business."

The news caught me off guard, and I had a hard time hiding my surprise. She had never mentioned this to me before. Starting a business is a big deal. It takes a lot of motivation, but I’m not worried about Lucy in that regard.

"In what field?" my mother continued.

"Sports," she smiled. "We’re planning to open a gym with training programs and classes," Lucy explained. "Everything’s starting to come together... If all goes well, this will be my last year at Camp Wiegman."

"What!? Seriously?" I exclaimed, unable to hold back.

Silence fell after my unexpected reaction. It was already a lot to learn about her project, but finding out that this would be her last year? It was a complete shock. Lucy glanced at me briefly with a small smile.

"Sorry for breaking the news this way. We were struggling with the bank, but I just found out a few days ago that our funds to start the business have been released. So, it’s recent news."

"Hum..."

"Oh, don’t look so down. You know what you need to do now."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you have no choice but to get your diploma this year. I want us to leave this school together."

"Of course... Things aren’t looking too good right now, though," I muttered.

"Defeatist. Just because you started this second semester off poorly doesn’t mean you won’t get your diploma. I’m going to make you work, just watch. We’ll even start tonight," she announced, making me groan.

"Seriously?" I complained. "Oh crap, speaking of studying! I had exams today and tomorrow!" I realized. "What am I going to do!? Do you think they’ll let me make them up?"

"Of course," she rolled her eyes. "That’s good news. We can study the subjects together this weekend."

What did she just say? Judging by the way she stiffened, she seemed to realize her big mistake. There’s no way we’re spending weekends together. She glanced at me out of the corner of her eye, making me uncomfortable. I noticed her hands tightening on the steering wheel as my mother questioned us.

"This weekend?"

"Wiegman requires me to stay at school when Ona is there," Lucy replied instinctively.

I released the breath I had been holding until then. I had forgotten that Lucy knew how to get out of awkward situations. The best part is, she does it without lying. I immediately backed her up by continuing:

"Bronze knows I struggle with some subjects, so she sometimes keeps me at school to work on my courses together," I said, fully aware that Lucy keeps me without official permission.

"Is that why you don’t come home as often?" my mother asked. "Joan keeps asking about you."

Joan... Oh my God, I’ve completely forgotten about him these past few days! I was so obsessed with my problems that I didn’t even think about my little brother. I felt a wave of regret. I sighed, running my hand through my hair.

"I’ll call him as soon as I can... How is he?"

"He’s fine."

"And the truth?"

I saw surprise in her eyes through the rearview mirror. As if a simple "he’s fine" would satisfy me. I hadn’t checked in on my brother for a month. The least I could do was ask now. Especially since he’s probably been feeling down, not having seen me for a while.

"He’s been having a lot of tantrums since you’ve been gone, and he sleeps in your bed a lot... he misses you terribly. You should come back to Barcelona sometime. This weekend, for example. We’re going away for the weekend with Marcus. You’ll have the house to yourself."

"When exactly are you leaving...?"

"You won’t see me if that’s your question. We’re leaving Friday afternoon and returning Sunday evening."

A small smile crept onto my lips. I discreetly glanced at Lucy, who had the same reaction as me. She must know what I’m thinking. I haven’t set foot in Barcelona for a month since she forbade me because of Feli. It’s about time I went back, and if she can come with me, that would be just perfect. It’s not an opportunity that will come up often.

"It’s not up to me to decide that kind of thing," I simply replied. "As I just told you, Bronze has the final say on my outings. We’ll have to discuss it first."

"We’ll talk about it when we get back," Lucy confirmed. "For now, wipe that silly smile off your face. I haven’t said yes yet. I just told you that you need to study."

"Oh come on! Think about my brother," I said, pulling an adorable pout.

"Playing the puppy dog, really Ona? You should know that’s not going to make me soften up."

I groaned, crossing my arms. She hasn’t said yes, but she hasn’t said no either. So, I still have hope. If it was a no, she would have already said so. Or maybe she’s uncomfortable with my mother’s presence and doesn’t dare say it. That’s one possibility. I can tell she’s not as comfortable as usual.

"Stop it," she growled.

"Stop what? I’m not doing anything."

"Yes, you are. You’re looking at me. It’s distracting me."

I hadn’t even realized it. To annoy her, I kept doing it while leaning against the car door. She furrowed her brow but didn’t take her eyes off the road. I smiled at the sight. Lucy is such a beautiful young woman. I’m lucky to have her. We finally arrived at a red light near downtown, where she took the opportunity to push down on my knee that I had lifted up.

- "Sorry," I mumbled, feeling sheepish.

She sighed softly, engaging the handbrake and shifting into neutral. The traffic lights here always take a while. I’m starting to know my way around this city, having come here so often. She turned slightly to look at me.

- "Just because you're banged up doesn’t mean you’re getting special treatment."

- "Oh, I know that, don’t worry about it, Commander!"

She rolled her eyes dramatically. It's crazy how much I enjoy provoking her. She seems to hate that nickname even more than before. Good to know if I want to tease her. I suppressed my smile at the thought, not wanting to provoke her further.

- "Sorry, I can’t help it."

- "Hmm."

She settled back into her seat as it was time to drive again. I did the same, glancing into the rearview mirror. Bad idea, as I caught my mom’s eyes staring at me with a strange expression. I pretended not to notice and focused on the suddenly heavy traffic.

- "Where exactly are we going?" I asked.

- "To the pedestrian zone downtown. It’s nice to see. There are also some good restaurants if you’re interested."

- "We trust you completely," my mom replied.

Lucy managed to get us out of the traffic jams thanks to her knowledge of the side streets. I should memorize them one day if I plan to live here. Then again, with my sense of direction, I’d probably still get lost. Lucy finally parked in a spot that wasn’t too crowded or too far from where we were headed. I took a deep breath before getting out. Here goes my first mother-daughter moment in ages.

Thursday, February 4th; 12:30 PM - Restaurant.

This morning was full of surprises. I’m still struggling to process it all. Just yesterday, I was on bad terms with both my mom and Lucy, and now, here I am, sitting with them around a table. I expected the morning to be a disaster, but against all odds, it went smoothly. No one brought up any sensitive topics, which was for the best. Even so, it was exhausting. I could have collapsed on the table when we arrived, but I restrained myself to avoid Lucy’s reprimands. For some reason, she kept putting me in my place in front of my mom. I guess she just wanted to assert her role, but her reactions were often over the top.

In any case, I’m glad it’s all over. My mom insisted on going shopping. The street was lined with stores, so she wanted to enter every one that had something she liked in the windows. Let’s just say I’ve never shopped this much in one morning, let alone with my mom. Lucy was probably right in saying that she was trying to rebuild our relationship. She bought me a ton of clothes. I definitely have enough to restock my school wardrobe. I started to enjoy it once Lucy joined forces with my mom. She was lucky to have Lucy help me survive the onslaught. Lucy also gave me her opinions whenever my mom wasn’t looking. The fittings were difficult with my injuries. My abdominal pain was so intense that Lucy had to help me more than once. Luckily, my mom was too busy finding me new outfits to notice.

- "Have you decided what to order?"

We all looked at each other before nodding to the waiter. I settled on a Caesar salad, not feeling very hungry today. Lucy seemed to be on the same page since she ordered the same thing. My mom chose salmon. The waiter jotted down our orders and left.

- "Are you sure you girls don’t want anything else?"

- "I’m not very hungry."

- "That’s surprising, you’re usually always hungry," Lucy teased.

- "Hey! That’s not true!"

- "It is. You’re a bottomless pit," she said, raising an eyebrow.

I stuck my tongue out at her and puffed out my cheeks. She pinched them playfully. Damn, she’s way too adorable.

- "I’m surprised to see Ona so open with you," my mom commented.

- "It wasn’t easy," Lucy replied honestly with a smile. "It started with floor scrubbing and arguments—"

- "Don’t exaggerate," I interrupted. "You just made me  clean a bathroom and some toilets," I retorted.

- "Oh no, scrubbing is the right word," she insisted with a mischievous smile. "I’ve never seen anyone do it so well. Anyone else would have done a sloppy job."

Is she joking? I remember that day like it was yesterday! It was my second day, and she pushed me to the limit by making me clean a locker room after my classes. I didn’t think my work was perfect, but Lucy had stopped me. I thought it was because it was time to eat, but it looks like I was wrong.

- "Don’t make that face. It was a good lesson for you back then. You taught me that you could be very meticulous."

- "You were testing me?" I asked, offended.

- "It was more of an assessment. Anyway," she continued before I could respond, "all Ona needed was a bit of attention, and I gave it to her. It was my job as a supervisor, but I quickly grew attached to her and her story. That’s what built her trust in me."

- "She confided in you?" my mom asked.

- "Yes, mom," I answered myself. "I confided in her."

- "I wanted her to see a therapist for a long time, but if I had known all she needed was a lovely young instructor, I would have changed my approach," my mom joked.

Lucy laughed at her comment, while I found myself embarrassed. A strange feeling washed over me. She’d never been so complimentary about my friends before. And we’d never managed to have such a pleasant time together. If it happened before, I don’t remember. It felt like Lucy’s presence changed everything, and that made me happy.

- "To be honest, I also considered that idea for a while," Lucy admitted once she calmed down. "I mean, about the therapist," she clarified. "But knowing Ona, I knew she would resist, so I didn’t even bother suggesting it."

- "Good thing you didn’t!" I replied. "I’m not sick; I don’t need to see a doctor."

- "No one said you were sick," she rolled her eyes. "It’s just that seeing a therapist might have helped. I sensed you were in a dark place more than once, and it could have done you some good, but whatever."

- "Hmm," I sulked slightly. "Just so you know, I’d much rather confide in you or Mapi than in some stranger in a lab coat."

- "Oh my," Lucy mocked, quickly joined by my mom.

I didn’t understand why they were laughing. Maybe my reaction was exaggerated, but that’s how I feel. There’s no way I’m talking about my problems with a stranger, even though I’ve gotten better about it. Back when I first came back, the idea was unthinkable. I shut down just at the thought of outside help. I barely left my room, so there was no way I was going to venture outside the house. My mom eventually gave up, realizing I wouldn’t change my mind on the matter. I turned to Lucy, who gave me a sad smile. Her sorrowful eyes affected me deeply. I didn’t mean to make her sad, but I’m so relieved that someone finally knows my secret. A weight has been lifted off my shoulders, but it’s clear it has been placed on hers instead. I hope she’ll be able to process it quickly. Thankfully, the server arrived with our meals, ending our discussion. That concluded the conversation as we wished each other a good meal and began eating. My mom restarted the conversation after clearing her throat.

- "So… this might not be the right time to bring this up, but… I’m curious why you chose management as a class option. I imagine Lucy had something to do with that choice."

- "That’s a slippery slope, mom," I warned. "The last time we brought this up was at Christmas, and it didn’t end well."

- "You didn’t tell me about that," Lucy whispered, making sure only I could hear.

I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye, remembering that I hadn’t mentioned it to her. Mapi wanted me to call her that very night, but I didn’t want to. It was a holiday, and there was no way I was going to bother her with my problems. I hadn’t brought it up again since.

- "I’m not going to judge your choices anymore, Ona," my mom continued. "It was just a simple question because it’s surprising. You were never very fond of math, as far as I remember."

"I didn’t like science either," I retorted. "But if you really want to know, it was a purely strategic choice. Management is always useful. Especially when you want to become independent quickly. »

I feel Lucy’s hand tighten on my thigh. She’s probably afraid I might lose control. She’s probably right, as I tend to snap when it comes to my mother. Her touch instantly calms me and even reassures me. I know I’m not alone.

“You want to go into the art field, don’t you?” she asks me.

“If I may,” Lucy interjects, “I’m the one who encouraged her in that direction. It might be a risky choice, but…”

She pauses for a moment to look at me before continuing with a smile on her lips.

“I would’ve preferred to tell her first, but you’re her mother, so you have the right to know as well… I’ve got a good chance of finding her some support to get started in that field.”

Her announcement makes me choke. I’m not sure I heard her correctly. Lucy helps me as I cough, patting my back and handing me a glass of water. I down it in one gulp to clear my throat, while she discreetly rests her hand back on my thigh.

“I didn’t think it would have such an effect on you,” she laughs.

“What do you mean by ‘support’?”

“I have a friend who knows people in the field. I gave him one of your sketchbooks.”

“You did what?!” I exclaim.

“Oh, listen to me before fixating on that detail,” she scolds. “He passed it on to an expert who thinks you’re very promising! You could thank me instead of complaining.”

“Where did you find it?”

“Maybe in your closet full of sketchbooks?”

She went through my closet… in my room? When? Did she see all the drawings I’ve done in recent weeks? Damn. I blush just thinking about it. I lower my head to avoid my mother noticing. Most of the sketches are of her, or places and landscapes we’ve seen together, from every possible angle. Deep down, I was desperate and just wanted to reconnect with her. My art is always better when my feelings are involved.

“I took the least personal one,” she tells me, tightening her grip on my thigh.

“You saw everything…” I breathe out as if it’s obvious.

I can’t believe it. I would’ve preferred if she had asked me before doing something like that. It’s way too personal. Yet, I can’t even be mad at her.

“What would happen if the professional took an interest in Ona?” my mother finally asks.

“I’m not exactly sure. My friend mentioned mentoring her or possibly helping her get into an art school to refine her skills. The man was very interested and plans to show it to his boss. There’s a good chance they might take her under their wing. Anyway, the most important thing is that she gets a foot in the door so she can start and get noticed.”

I’m still struggling to believe it. If she did all that, it’s to give me a golden opportunity for my future. I don’t know who her friend is, but I’ll have to thank him properly. My mother seems completely understanding of what Lucy is saying. It’s very surprising. I didn’t think she’d take it so well when she’s always preferred me to follow in her footsteps.

“I guess if it works out, she’ll stay here?”

“It’s up to her to decide…”

“I’m likely to stay here in almost any case, Mom. I like it here, and my new friends all have plans to settle down here. It’ll be my fresh start. It’s what you wanted, right?”

I’ve never been so clear about what I want for my future as I am today. The others talk about it all the time. I already know Alexia will do anything to stay here to be with Jenni. She’s subtly trying to convince her sister to stay too. As for Leah and Alessia, they already live here. Just like Lotte, who lives with her father at the school, along with Patri and Claudia. And then, of course, there’s Lucy. She’s my main motivation for wanting to stay. I’m not sure I want to live with her right away, for fear that things might move too quickly, but I’ll find a way to stay here regardless.

“I guess you’ve already made up your mind…”

“I never said that,” I sigh. “I’m just thinking about it, that’s all. You’re the one who sent me here. I just created the life I like.”

“It’s obvious,” she smiles sadly. “I haven’t seen you this happy in a long time. That’s why I want to thank Lucy, who’s surely a big part of that. Especially with her hand on your thigh at this very moment.”

Damn. How did she notice? Lucy was so discreet. She immediately removes her hand, making my mother smile. I don’t even dare look to the side. I’m sure Lucy is just as panicked as I am.

“T-that's not what-, Lucy stammers.

“Oh, come on,” my mother interrupts her. “I wasn’t born yesterday! I already knew about Mapi, if you’re still wondering, Ona.”

I open my mouth to speak, but my mother beats me to it.

“I don’t blame you for keeping quiet. I completely understand why, given our situation, but try not to lie to me again. You tried to be discreet all morning, but your looks and gestures when my back was turned were obvious.”

“I swear I-,” my girlfriend tries.

“You still dare to deny it?” my mother gently teases.

Lucy sighs and finally looks at me. I’ve never seen her like this… So embarrassed? Worried? Her behavior affects me even more than before. She nervously runs her hand through her hair.

“Fine,” she says. “I’ll be honest then. I tried to ignore your daughter, but I simply couldn’t.”

“Please, feel free to address me informally. You’ve done so well up until now.”

Lucy grimaces slightly. The situation must be different for her now. I’ve never seen her so uncomfortable. It’s my turn to place my hand on her thigh to reassure her. I thought she would remove it, but she doesn’t. She takes it and intertwines our fingers. I didn’t think we’d have to have this conversation so soon.

“If you want to report me to Wiegman, I’ll accept the consequences, but there’s no way I’m staying away from your daughter.”

I hadn’t even thought of that. I look at my mother with a panicked expression. Would she dare? Her face is unreadable until a small smile appears on her lips.

“That was never my intention. Ona would never forgive me if I did something like that,” she says with a genuine smile. “It’s a beautiful gesture of love, in any case. My intention was just to confirm my suspicions, and it seems I was right.”

Lucy’s grip on my hand loosens slightly. I think her wave of panic has passed. She gently caresses the knuckles she had just been crushing.

“So… I mean, it doesn’t bother you that we’re together…?” I ask uncertainly.

“Why would it? Ona, I know we didn’t always see eye to eye, but I’ve never wanted anything but your happiness, even if you have a hard time understanding that. If Lucy is the one who makes you happy, I’m not going to stand in your way. I should be thanking her for bringing my daughter back.”

“There’s nothing to thank me for. She makes me just as happy.”

I don’t know what to say. So my mother knew all along, and I didn’t even realize it. Maybe Mapi told her, or maybe I’m less predictable to her than I thought. We weren’t on good terms, but her opinion still mattered to me. It could have completely torn our relationship apart, which is why I was afraid to tell her. In any case, this conversation was unexpected. Dimples form on my girlfriend’s cheeks as she smiles. I lean in to kiss her, not caring if my mother is watching. It doesn’t last long, but it’s enough to convey all my gratitude for facing this with me.

“So, how long have you two been together?”

Lucy and I look at each other for a moment before a small laugh escapes us. It’s probably the tension releasing.

“To be honest… Only since last night,” Lucy admits.

“Oh… I expected it to be longer than that,” my mother says with a hint of disappointment. “And how old are you? If it’s not too intrusive.”

“Mom,” I groan, rolling my eyes.

“It’s okay, Ona,” Lucy giggles. “I’m turning twenty-six this year. I’m older, but it’s never bothered us until now. Ona is very mature for her age… Stubborn when she wants to be, but mature.”

This is the first time she’s ever said that. I didn’t know she thought that about me. She usually calls me a “cheeky kid.” I look at my mother to see her reaction. She just smiles and nods. She doesn’t seem to want to contest it. She was always interested in the people in my life, which is why I was afraid to tell her about my orientation. When I was a teenager, I sometimes brought home a few boys, and that was the only time she asked questions and seemed to care about me.

“It seems you’ve found your rare gem, Ona.”

“I hope so. She scares me sometimes, but otherwise she’s perfect.”

- "Hey!" complains my girlfriend.

- "Sorry, but I used to think of you as a tyrant at first," I admitted.

- "Nice," she mutters.

Our conversation is interrupted by laughter, not from us, but from my mother. We look at her, unsure of how to react. I gently stroke Lucy's hand with a smile.

- "You two are adorable. Since yesterday, you say? You don’t seem like it, given how you act around each other."

- "We kind of delayed things because of me," Lucy admits, briefly glancing at me.

- "You're definitely welcome in Barcelona this weekend, since that's probably what's going to happen," my mom teases us.

- "That wasn't my intention..."

- "But you knew I was going to suggest it," I said. "You're not going to make me beg, are you? She’s giving you her blessing!"

- "And why not?" she raises an eyebrow. "If I'm supposedly a tyrant, you might as well beg."

- "You’re impossible."

- "And you're a fool."

I groan in frustration. I’m sure she would be capable of saying no. I move closer and kiss her on the cheek.

- "I’m sorry for thinking that. You know, of course, that I don’t believe it anymore. Now that you’ve had your apology... Will you come to Barcelona with me? Please?"

- "Hmm... I don't know," she teases with a smirk.

- "My mom is giving you permission to come," I repeated desperately.

Seeing that she only responds with a smug smile, I pout and return to my meal. I have to let go of her hand to pick up my fork, which doesn’t seem to please her. But I don't like being teased this much either. I hope she won’t refuse to let me go home if she decides not to come. My priority is to see Joan now. I wouldn’t want her to be mad at me for forgetting him.

- "We’ll talk about it later, okay?" she says more calmly.

- "It’s already decided. Either you come with me, or I go alone," I muttered.

Lucy sighs, catching my attention. I know she won’t let me go alone given the circumstances.

- "Fine. You win."

- "Really?" I asked, more excitedly than I meant to.

- "I suppose, yeah," she says, shrugging nonchalantly. "If I’m allowed," she adds, looking at my mom.

- "I don't see any problem with it. My daughter is an adult; she’s old enough to handle her love life."

- "See! So, you’re coming with me?"

- "Alright, alright."

- "Oh my God!" I exclaimed, jumping into her arms. "You’re the best!"

A sharp pain shoots through me because of my position, but it doesn’t stop me from kissing her cheek repeatedly. I’ve wanted her to see my world for so long. Now, that’s one thing that will finally happen.

- "But I haven't forgotten about your studying."

- "Are you serious?" I groaned. "Can’t you leave your responsible side behind for once?"

- "No. I’m not repeating a year because of you."

- "I’m not asking you to do that."

- "But I’m not letting you repeat a year on your own either. Who knows what kind of disaster that would be. I guess we can study tonight and tomorrow."

- "Good idea. That way we can relax this weekend."

- "That depends on how much you get done."

I roll my eyes as she laughs. Well, she’s right anyway. I didn’t start my second semester off well, and I need to get to work if I want to succeed. Especially after what Lucy just told me about my future. The rest of the meal continues mainly with conversations between my mom and my girlfriend. My mom is very interested in Lucy’s life and, surprisingly, in mine here as well. Maybe we’re finally ready to move forward. I still think Lucy’s presence has a lot to do with it. My mom must really like her. She’s nothing like Feli or my other boyfriends. She’s smart and full of charisma. I’m lucky she chose me as her girlfriend. To think she’s helping to solve all my problems with my mom.

Thursday, February 4th; 4:00 PM - Lucy’s Room.

I smile as Lucy collapses onto her bed just after we enter her room. For a day that was supposed to be relaxing, it was surprisingly busy. We just got back. Lucy kindly offered to drop my mom off at the airport after lunch. They connected immediately. We stayed with her until she took off. My mom took the opportunity to buy our tickets for this weekend. She got three after we discussed it with Lucy. I noticed she was uncomfortable with the idea of coming to Barcelona, so I suggested we bring Ingrid along. I like her, and I’ve heard she’s getting closer to Mapi. It’s a chance to thank her and make up for things.

- "This day was so unexpected," Lucy comments, pulling me out of what must have been an intense stare.

Her smile widens, probably thinking I was watching her. I blush and look away. That’s probably not the best way to prove otherwise, but it was an automatic reaction.

- "Yeah... I-I’m going to call Mapi. I’ll let her know we’re coming to Barcelona this weekend."

- "I think your mom was afraid I’d change my mind, which is why she bought the tickets," she laughs.

- "Probably. She really liked you."

- "Isn’t that a good thing?"

- "I don’t care what she thinks."

She sits down to take off her shoes. Meanwhile, I grab my phone from the nightstand drawer. Lucy tosses her shoes onto the floor, creating a loud noise, before lying back against her pillow with a satisfied sigh.

- "You know, Ona. You can lie to anyone you want, but definitely not to me," she smiles.

- "Alright... Maybe it matters a little."

She giggles and pats the spot next to her. I don’t like that she can read me so well. It feels like I can’t hide anything from her.

- "I expected your mom to be more difficult," she confesses. "She really cares about you, you know."

- "I know," I sighed.

I sit on the edge of the bed to take off my shoes, which quickly join Lucy’s on the floor. As soon as they’re off, I gasp in surprise when she pulls me back.

- "Gently," I grumbled. "I’m still recovering!"

- "Oh, sorry hermosa," she says, freezing me in her arms.

This new nickname from her feels almost strange. She presses herself against my back, burying her head in my hair.

- "Are you okay?" she whispers.

- "Yeah," I sighed.

I turn over, groaning as I move. The painkiller is starting to wear off. But I smile when she kisses my forehead.

- "Are you still in a lot of pain?"

- "It’s manageable," I say, running a hand through my hair.

She looks at me in a way that makes me finally see what she’s feeling. I wonder how she used to hide her emotions so well.

"I’m going to put more cream on you, and you’ll take another painkiller with dinner. That should keep you comfortable through the night. »

- "It's not necessary."

- "Don't argue," she says as she gets up. "You've been complaining about the pain all day, so you're going to let me take care of you."

- "Fine," I relented.

It's hard to argue when she's already in the bathroom getting the cream. I take advantage of her absence to lie down in the middle of the bed and lift my shirt up to just below my chest.

- "I'll take this opportunity to call Mapi, if you don't mind. She's going to give me an earful for not being in touch," I added.

- "Go ahead," she says, straddling me. "I told her I'd allow you to call in the next few days. Maybe you'll be spared since she thinks I was the one keeping you from it."

- "I doubt she believed that," I giggled.

I can't help but look at Lucy with soft, tender eyes. She seems so different from usual. She's much more... open. Maybe I wasn't the most closed-off one between us after all. I must be looking at her strangely, given the way she starts to smile.

- "What? Is something bothering you?"

- "No," I said, blushing. "It's just that you're acting differently."

- "In a good way, I hope?"

- "Oh yes, yes," I stammered.

- "Well... You'd better get used to it... At least in private, of course."

My eyes linger on her hands, now covered in cream.

- "Make your call. She's just waiting for you to do it."

I nod as I dial her number, feeling a slight knot in my stomach. I'm dreading her reaction after my long week of silence. She has every right to be upset with me. The call connects just as Lucy's hands rest on my sides.

- "Wow! A call from my Onita? I thought I was hallucinating. Is it really you?"

- "Hello to you too, Mapi... Yes, it's me," I rolled my eyes.

- "Oh, well it's a good thing it's you. Just so you know, I'm hurt by your radio silence, Ona."

- "It wasn't my fault."

- "Of course. What did you always tell me...? Oh yes, I remember. 'When there's a will, there's a way.' Isn't that right?"

What was I thinking? It was obvious she'd be upset. I close my eyes as a shiver runs through me, thanks to Lucy's gentle touches. It's such a contrast to the harsh, resentful words my best friend just said.

- "If you keep pouting, I'll hang up without sharing the good news."

- "Good news?" she scoffs. "Who am I talking to? Whoever you are, give me back my best friend. She hasn't had good news to share in weeks."

- "Okay, fine, you win. I'm hanging up."

- "Oh, there it is! I think I recognize my Onita now!"

I roll my eyes in amusement as I hear her laugh. There's some commotion in the background, and I frown, realizing she's not alone. It's rare for her to be with anyone since her breakup; she had isolated herself.

- "Who are you with?"

- "Miller and Bryan. They're helping me with a project for class. They send their regards."

- "Oh, that's unexpected. You're not in for an easy time with them. Say hi to them for me too."

- "I have to spend time with people since you're not here. And you'd be surprised. They're actually decent help, against all odds."

There it is, the remark I was expecting. Mapi can be very bitter when she wants to be.

- "I'm sorry, Maps," I say, focusing on my stomach where Lucy's fingers are still working. I'm trying to make it up to her, but she won't let me get a word in edgewise.

I didn't know Lucy was so skilled at massages. It's making it hard to concentrate. My stomach is still covered in bruises, but she's being very careful not to hurt me.

- "Hey, Batlle!"

- "Hmm?" I responded absentmindedly.

- "You sound... quite occupied," she teases. "Maybe I should hang up instead of waiting for your apologies."

- "Sorry," I groaned. "I was just focused on something else."

Lucy chuckles at my response, finally looking up at me. I blush at the thought of what she might be thinking.

- "Oh, and what's so distracting that you're ignoring me, again?"

- "I'm not ignoring you," I rolled my eyes.

- "Hmm... Sure, whatever you say," she mutters. "Anyway, what's this good news? Since you couldn't manage to write to me for a whole week, you better tell me you talked with Lucy."

- "That's actually the good news, sort of," I replied, locking eyes with Lucy.

I bite my lip as I feel Lucy's hands move up my sides, a very sensitive spot for me since I'm extremely ticklish. I wonder if she can hear what Mapi's saying.

- "Explain. You owe me that much, I think."

- "Everything's sorted out. The good news is that I'm coming home to Barcelona this weekend, and she's coming with me."

- "Oh really, yo-... Wait. What!?" she exclaimed.

I smiled, imagining the expression she must have. I'd pay a lot to see it. I can hear the guys teasing her in the background.

- "She just figured it out?" Lucy asks me.

- "I think so."

- "Put her on speaker."

I comply, pressing the button before placing the phone beside us.

- "I assume you're with her? How could you hide this from me? Since when!? It's a disgrace! I’ve been supporting your relationship from the beginning and putting up with your broken hearts! I should have been informed the next hour!"

- "Calm down. It's very recent," Lucy replies.

- "Lucy!" she exclaims in surprise. "No, but seriously! I'm both mad at you and happy for you at the same time. You'd better take care of my best friend, and as for you, Ona, you'd better tell me everything! I want all the details!"

- "There she goes, we've lost her," Lucy jokes. "I don't need your threats to do that, you know," she retorts. "You've already done enough, and I've already had to face Ona's mom's threats."

- "It's thanks to my threats that you're together, in a way. Hey, wait. What did you say? Abby? What's this all about?"

- "It's a very long story," I say just as Lucy applies cream to my bruised eye.

- "You two are so mean to me," Mapi responds. "How dare you hide everything from me, of all people?"

- "We're not hiding anything from you. We'll explain everything this weekend, I promise."

- "Pff, yeah, whatever. It doesn't change the fact that you'd better take care of Ona, or you'll be hearing from me!"

- "Don't worry about that."

I chuckle as Lucy rolls her eyes. She smiles at me before leaning down to kiss me. We must not be very discreet because it triggers a disgusted noise on the other end of the phone.

- "Please, don't do that while I'm still on the line."

- "What's wrong, Mapi?" Lucy teases. "Isn't this what you wanted?"

- "Oh yes, but I'd rather not hear your kisses and cuddles. It's depressing for a single person."

- "As far as I know, you won't be single much longer."

- "What do you mean?" I asked. "Since when does Lucy know more than I do?"

- "Since you've been missing in action, duh."

- "Very petty revenge, Mapi. Once again, it's Lucy who didn't want me to text you at night."

- "No, it's not that I didn't want you to. It's just that you needed to sleep earlier, and she preferred being in Alexia's room before."

- "Yeah, whatever. Doesn't matter. Now that I'm here, is what she just said true?"

- "Of course," Lucy answers. "Mapi is just scared to take the plunge with Ingrid."

- "Lucy!" my best friend exclaims. "I thought that was supposed to stay between us!"

- "Oops?"

I giggle as Mapi sighs in frustration. So, she's scared to date my instructor. That's new and very unexpected.

- "You'd better stop stalling, Mapi. Ingrid won't chase after you forever," Lucy tells her.

- "I know," she sighs. "But it's complicated with the distance and all. I'd prefer to talk to her face to face."

- "It's your lucky day because she's coming with us this weekend."

- "What!?"

- "You heard right. I know you told her you'd give her a chance when you saw each other again, so if you want my advice, start coming up with convincing arguments. Ingrid can be a very difficult woman when she wants to be."

- "Wha-"

- "Don't say we never did you a favor. Now, I'd like to spend the rest of this afternoon with my girlfriend, if you don't mind."

- "No, no, wait, please! Don't hang u-"

- "Goodnight, Mapi."

I look at Lucy curiously as she hangs up on Mapi. She's not going to appreciate that. What bothers me more, though, is that Lucy knows more than I do.

- "What did I miss?"

- "Mapi is scared and keeps pushing things back. A bit like me. The situation is starting to frustrate Ingrid, and I just gave her some golden information. She'd better use it because Ingrid can be very unforgiving."

- "Oh... I guess she's afraid to open her heart again."

- "I don't know Mapi well enough to understand her reasons," she shrugs. "She just confided in me because I know Ingrid, and you weren't around."

- "Hmm... I hope things work out for them."

- "I'm sure they will. I said Ingrid was unforgiving, not heartless," she smiles. "She might just make Mapi sweat a little, if you know what I mean."

- "I know exactly what you mean."

I laugh against Lucy's lips as she comes in for another kiss. She doesn't stay long, though, as she gets up to return to the bathroom to put away the cream and wash her hands. Meanwhile, I don't dare move since I'm covered in cream everywhere, and I don't want to risk getting it all over. She comes back shortly after to put away my phone and then lies down next to me again. I smile as she wraps her arms around me. I hope Mapi finds the same happiness I've found. It's the best I can wish for her. One thing is certain, though: this weekend is going to be very interesting.

[devilat-thedoor]

Hands to Yourself Pt10

Lovers🤍🤍

SURPRIIIIIIIISEEEEEEE

Guess who finally got her shit together and finished Part 10???? No but seriously, I can’t even begin to express my gratitude for how patient everyone has been waiting on this. I’ve been off my game lately. okokok I won’t ramble, but I love you all! hope it was worth the wait💖

Word Count: 11.1k

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!reader

Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI. Smut(Fingering, Unprotected Sex, Dirty Talk) Talks of pregnancy. (If I miss anything, please let me know!)

“Gimme some good news, Dr. Brooks.” You pleaded with a whine, “Is this cast coming off today?” You sat on the edge of the exam table, wiggling your arm at him. This was your third visit with the doctor since you’d been released from the hospital. The first was a week after your discharge, just to ensure your ribs were still healing well. Then another week after that, you went in to have the stitches removed before an ultrasound. “Jake won’t take me car shopping until I have full use of both hands…”

He chuckled softly, “He’s only thinking in terms of your safety, Y/N.” He took your arm, fiddling with your fingers, “Okay, I’m gonna cut this cast off and we’ll get an x-ray to see how the bones are looking.” Dr. Brooks laid the table flat, instructing you to lay down, and lifted your shirt. He pressed lightly on your ribcage, prodding his fingers around, “How’s the pregnancy? You went for an ultrasound the last time you were in… Sit up, I wanna hear your lungs.”

You obeyed, pulling your shirt back down to sit up, “It’s good, I think. I don’t really get sick anymore unless I eat pizza or spaghetti.” You placed a palm over your belly, “He does not like tomato sauce…I’ll be 14 weeks on thursday. I think I’m kind of showing?” You pulled the shirt taught over your stomach, showcasing the barely-there bump.

“It’s definitely possible. I’ve known mothers to start showing in their 12th week and some that don’t show until they’re well over 5 months.” He held the stethoscope to your back, “Deep breath for me, Y/N.” You felt him move it to another spot, pressing it into your shirt and telling you to breathe again, “Everything sounds great… So you said ‘he.’ It’s a boy?” He was scribbling something down on his clipboard.

“We don’t know for sure yet, but I have a strong feeling.” You rubbed your hands over your leggings, “I’ve been having these really vivid…dreams. Umm. It’s always a boy in them, so…” Your eyes fell to the floor.

The doctor looked down at you, studying your body language, “Y/N, have you scheduled an appointment with the trauma therapist I recommended?” He wheeled his stool in front of you and sat down, “Jake told me about the nightmares during your last check in. You should really consider going to see Dr. Lucera. She’ll help you understand why you’re having these dreams and present you with ways to deal with the PTSD.” He ripped a corner from one of his papers, wrote something down on it, and placed it in your shaking hand, “Call her office and make an appointment. I promise, it will help.”

You took the scrap of paper from him, “Okay. Yeah, I’ll try.” Ready for a subject change, you waved your arm in front of him again, “Is It time?” You raised your eyebrows at him.

“It’s time.” Dr. Brooks stood from the stool with a smile and walked towards the door, “I’ll be right back. Do you want me to send him in?” You gave him an enthusiastic nod as he exited the exam room, pulling the door shut after him.

Minutes later, Jake was coming into the room, “How’s everything looking, my love?” He stood by you, leaving a kiss to your forehead.

“He’s finally taking the cast off.” You grinned up at him, “You know what that means, baby…”

“It means you’re getting x-ray to see if you need a new cast.” He stated matter-of-factly, “Dr. Brooks already briefed me, Y/N.” He plucked the paper from your fingers, looking it over, “And we’re gonna schedule an appointment with the therapist he recommended when we get home.”

You tried to grab it back before he jammed it into his pocket, “No. I’m throwing that in the garbage. I don’t need help with anything, I’m handling it.”

“You’re not, though, love.” He caught your hand as you dug into his pocket, “Ignoring it and pretending it’s not happening isn’t handling it. Frankly, I think it’s making it worse.” He moved in front of you, bending a bit to meet you face to face, “Let’s compromise, baby… If you promise me that you’ll try one appointment, just one, we can leave here today and start car shopping. Cast or no cast.”

You negotiated a counteroffer, “I’ll make the appointment before I leave this room today, BUT…” You leaned in until your noses were almost touching, “I get to go back to work on monday.” He backed up, shaking his head, but you grabbed his shirt and pulled him back towards you, “Jake, it’s been well over a month. I gave you time like you asked, more than what was needed.”

Before he could respond, your doctor was coming in with a nurse, wheeling a cart with medical instruments, “Alright, Y/N, I’m going to give you a quick rundown of how this works… Have you ever had a cast removed before?” You shook your head as you looked at the tools on the cart. He took note of your nervous energy in the way you grasped tightly onto Jake’s hand, “There is nothing to be worried about, I assure you.” Dr. Brooks picked up the saw, holding it against his hand, “This is a vibrating saw, it cuts through the fiberglass but it cannot and will not cut your skin.” He clicked the button on and let it run over his palm.

You squeezed Jake’s hand harder with a faint gasp at the whirring sound. “Baby, it’s fine, look.” He held his free hand out for Dr. Brooks and allowed the man to put the tool against his skin, “See, it just tickles a bit, no pain, no cuts.” He pulled his palm back for you to see.

“Okay…” You nodded your head, giving your attention back to the doctor.

He placed the saw back on the cart and picked something else up, “Once we get through the brunt of it, we’ll use these shears to cut through all the padding.” He put them down and picked up the last thing to hold in front of you, “Then, once we have a clear channel, we’ll use the spreader to crack it open and slide it off so that we can see how you’re healing under there. Sound good?”

Taking a deep breath, you held your arm out, “Yes, just get the damn thing off…”

After your appointment, Jake was going to take you car shopping like he agreed but you weren’t really up to it, “Can we just go home, actually? Make lunch and watch a movie?”

“Of course, love.” He eyed you from the driver’s seat, “Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah, I just didn’t really sleep too well last night… I’m a little tired.” You were lying, but you didn’t want to tell him that the mere thought of getting behind a wheel made you anxious beyond belief. Thankfully he didn’t question any further, just made the drive home with a gentle hold on your freshly freed hand.

_________________________________________________

After getting home, you changed into shorts and a tank top to clean the house a bit before settling at the kitchen table for lunch. You couldn’t help but notice the way Jake kept watching you, studying you. Every time your gaze would lift from your food, you’d find his eyes on you. He watched you squeeze your hand around your wrist, rolling it a bit, “Does it hurt?”

“No, it just feels weird.” You stared down at your left hand, flexing your fingers and knuckles, “Mobility was limited, all I could really move were my fingers and even that was just barely. I think I just need to get used to moving it around.”

“Well… Just don’t push it. Dr. Brooks said the bone may not be as strong as it was.” Jake put his fork down, picking up a napkin to wipe his mouth, “I still can’t believe you got scared when he brought the saw out.” He laughed as he reached for his cup.

“Fuck off, I wasn’t even scared, Jake.” You threw your napkin at him, sharing his laughter, and stood from the table, grabbing your empty plate and his, “Are you still hungry, baby?” As you moved past him to put the dishes in the sink, he grabbed your waist, pulling you down into his lap, “Jacob!” You yelped as one of the plates crashed to the floor, shattering to pieces.

He took the remaining one from your hand and put it back on the table with a playful smirk, “I want dessert…” His hand went to the back of your head, pulling you in for a kiss. You wanted to yell at him for making you drop the plate but his lips were moving so madly against your own that you couldn’t focus on anything else. Suddenly, he was standing up and lifting you with him to sit you on the edge of the table. His lips went to your jaw, trailing their way down as he yanked the strap of your shirt to the side to kiss along your shoulder..

Your legs parted on their own, giving him the space to stand between them, “Baby, what is- Oh…” Your hands shot his shoulders as he grasped your hips, grinding his erection into you, “Would this have anything to do with how you’ve been staring at me?”

He bit down on your collarbone, drawing a gasp from you, “You look so fucking beautiful…” He pulled the other strap down, letting your tank top fall below your breasts, “My dick has been hard since you sat down to eat…Are they getting bigger?” He was cupping your tits, squeezing them gently.

“Well, I’m pregnant…so probably.” You giggled at his amazed expression.

Jake pulled the tank top over your head before dropping back into his chair and scooting it closer to the table, “Pregnant with my baby…” He leaned forward, pressing his lips to your belly, “Still can’t believe it sometimes. I made him…” He was staring at the teeny bump, brushing his knuckles against your skin.

You hooked your finger under his chin, lifting his eyes to you, “I don’t think you can take all the credit on this one, baby. It was a group effort.” You smiled down at him, poking the tip of his nose, “I can tell you exactly when we made him…or- at least when I think we made him.”

“When? How do you know?” He grabbed your hand, interlocking your fingers, and laid his head on your thigh as he gazed at you.

“My OB helped me kind of calculate it at my last appointment. It was confusing, but she gave me a general time frame of the conception date.” You pushed the hair from his face, cupping his cheek, “The cookout… That morning, in the bathroom. Do you remember?”

He turned his head, placing a kiss to the inside of your thigh, “Of course I remember.” He continued leaving wet kisses across your flesh, “I can remember just about every time I’ve been here…” He pressed his index finger to the front of your shorts, applying pressure to your clit, “You were too stressed, in a panic, and it was driving me mad.”

“Baby…” You whined as he drew circles over the fabric.

A smirk crept over his lips, “I had you in front of the mirror, the prettiest sounds falling from your lips… But you had to be quiet and you just couldn’t.” Jake withdrew his hand to hook his fingers into your waistband. You lifted your hips from the tabletop so he could pull the shorts down and drop them to the floor, “I had to put my fingers in your mouth to keep you silent and you bit me.” He brought his hand to your lips, tapping them, and you opened your mouth to let his fingers in, rolling your tongue around them, “Hmm. I remember how wet you got, watching me fuck you in the reflection.” He took his hand back and resumed the tortuous swirls on your clit, “Almost as wet as you are now, love…” He gathered your arousal, pinching his thumb and two fingers together to admire it before pushing his fingers into you.

You rested your feet on his knees, “You bit me back- Mmm. Your tee- shit…Your teeth marks were there for d-days.��� His fingers were petting at the sweetest spot inside of you, causing your head to drop back with a lilting moan, “I love it when you mark me like that.”

“God, those noises you make…” His mouth was on your inner thigh again, nibbling his way closer to your core, “Fucking angelic, my love.” He opened his mouth, ready to grace you with his tongue but you stopped him.

You grabbed his face, “Jake, please. I wanna feel you.”

“Patience, baby.” He kissed your palm, keeping eye contact with you while fucking you with his fingers.

You sunk your teeth into your lip with a groan, “Just- think of the sounds I’ll make when you’re inside of me.” You knew you had him when his hand started to slow, inevitably stopping. Smirking down at him, you took his hand from you and pulled him to stand from the chair, “You weren’t lying…” You felt for his dick over his pants, feeling just how hard he really was.

“I told you… You’re so beautiful, all the time.” His breath hitched as you dipped below his waistband, grasping him in your hand, “But today- fuck, Y/N… Today you just- There was something different.” Jake squeezed his eyes shut, unable to concentrate on anything other than the way you stroked him.

“Something different, huh? Well, there’s only one thing different about me.” You used your free hand to grab his shirt and pull him closer, speaking into his ear, “Do you like me pregnant, Jake? The fact that my belly is growing…my tits…and it’s all your doing.” You nipped his ear lobe and felt him twitch against your palm.

He grabbed your wrist and removed your hand from his pants in a haste, “I can’t- I gotta- fuck.” Jake stuttered as he pulled his pants down, just enough to free his length, “I gotta have you now, baby.” He was desperate, one hand on your leg while he used the other to guide himself to your entrance.

You held his hips, watching as he slid himself through your folds, “Just do it, baby. Please.” You could feel your arousal gathering into a small puddle beneath you as you oozed with just as much desperation as him. You pulled on him, luring him just where both of you needed, “Fuck me, Jake.” It came out as a pathetic, needy whine but he couldn’t resist.

“I’ll give you anything you want, I swear to god, Y/N… Just keep talking to me like that, tell me what you want, pretty baby.” He finally pushed into you, his brows knitted as he held his breath.

“I want you to kiss me…” You released a soft sigh as he stretched you. His hand weaved into your hair as he leaned in with no hesitation, but you stopped him before his lips could meet yours, “Nuh uh.” You held your index finger over his mouth and he stared in confusion, “Kiss me…here.” You grazed your fingers over your collarbone and he dove in. Starting at your right shoulder, he trailed soft, suckling kisses the whole way to the left, stopping to dip his tongue into the hollow of your neck while giving deep, languid strokes with his cock, “That’s good, baby. Keep fucking me just like that.” You gripped his jaw, pulling his lips to yours in a hungry kiss as you whimpered into his mouth.

He broke away with a strangled groan, letting his head hang, “You fit around me so fucking well-.” He pushed your knees up to let your feet rest on the edge of the table, spreading you open, “So perfect together, baby… You and me…look at us.”

You dropped your gaze to where your bodies met, watching him fill you up over and over, “Touch me. Please just fucking touch me, Jakey.” You spoke through a slew of gasps and moans. Grabbing one of his hands, you pulled his thumb into your mouth, coating it in your spit, “Touch me here.” You guided his hand to your cunt, promoting him to follow your orders. You leaned back on your hands, watching him expertly strum at your clit, “Fuuuuck…That’s- I’m close.” Your eyes started to roll until he stopped moving, making you look up at his face, “Baby…”

Jake had himself buried completely inside of you, nudging your cervix with the tip of his cock. He remained motionless except for his thumb, still spoiling your clit, “Shhh. Stop whining. You think I don’t know how to pull you apart?” He kept his eyes trained on his thumb as he spoke, his voice a calm whisper, “I know your body so well, love… I could break you down to a molecular level and put you back together blindfolded.” His voice was like warm honey; thick and sweet, dripping over your body and drowning you, “You say the word and I’ll make you cum like *snap* that, sweet girl, you know I will.”

You were clenching around him fiercely, admiring how his face contorted with every fluttering pulse. You had no doubt that the second you gave a signal, he’d throw you straight into that endless freefall and you were ready for it, “Jake, now..” You needed it, demanded it.

He took his hand from your pussy and brought it up to curl around your throat, squeezing carefully as he pulled your mouth to meet his, “I told you I’d give you anything you want…” He kept a light hold on your neck, brushing his nose against yours as he drew his hips back. He bent his knees slightly and gave a single, sharp, perfectly angled thrust, watching as your jaw dropped open, “I fucking told you, baby.”

You fought to keep your eyes on his. Your mouth hung agape with a soundless cry as his fingers tightened on your pressure points, forcing your eyes into the back of your head. Your whole body convulsed, laced with zaps of blinding electricity. Your hands frantically grabbed for his hips, pulling on him, wanting him as deep as he could get, as a night sky exploded behind your eyelids. A black backdrop, spotted with tiny, bright specks, luring you into oblivion. He released your neck, allowing you to draw in a deep breath before gasping out, “God, Jake-”

He slowed his thrusts, giving you a moment to come down, “I need one more, my love. Just one.” Jake snaked his arms around your back, pressing your chest flat against his as you nodded silently. He began moving again, slipping into you with no resistance as soft, melodic whimpers poured from your lips, “C’mon, baby, you’re already there.” He watched your face scrunch up, your brows pinched, as you repeatedly opened and closed your mouth, unable to form words.

Your fingers searched for the hem of his shirt, ripping it over his head. You wanted him close, wanted to feel his sweat-sticky skin melded with yours, “I- oh…oh shhh-” You held onto him tightly, nails dragging across his back, “Jake, please… Oh pleasepleaseplease!” It was the last coherent thing you could muster before biting down on his shoulder as your second orgasm hit harder than the first.

“That’s it… That’s-fuck.” He stilled, a shiver rippling through his body as his own climax consumed him. He pulled himself out of you, stroking his length against your clit and letting the first bit of cum paint your pussy before slamming back into you. He lifted your trembling body from the table and sat back in the chair, keeping himself tucked safely inside of you as he hugged you to him and peppered sweet pecks to your skin. Once your aching lungs settled, you pulled back enough to look down between your bodies. Your fingers mindlessly swept over your clit, dragging through the mix of release, before you sucked them into your mouth. Jake’s eyes held onto yours as you lapped his cum from your digits with a mellow hum, “Goddamn, woman…” His hand balled into your locks as he pulled your fingers from your mouth to replace them with his tongue. He licked at your lips, rolling his tongue against your own to taste the both of you as he finally began to soften.

Your head fell to his shoulder as you closed your eyes, “If I wasn’t already pregnant, I definitely would be now.” You stayed there for a while, his hands gently rubbing your back while you listened to his calm breaths, “I’m gonna get up, baby…” You warned before slipping off of his sensitive dick.

He hissed, dropping his head back as you slowly stood from his lap, “Careful. I gotta clean this mess up.” He pushed you to the side, making sure your feet avoided the ceramic shards littering the hardwood, “Sorry, about the plate, love.”

You smiled at him, brushing the hair from his forehead, “Gives me an excuse to buy a new set of dishes.”

“Anything you want.” He stood up, tucking himself into his pants, “Go have a shower, I’m gonna take care of this.” His eyes raked over your naked body as he grasped your hips. You thought he was gonna kiss you but instead, he smirked, staring at your chest, “They’re definitely getting bigger.”

“You’re annoying.” You pushed him away with a laugh, “Clean your mess up, Jacob.” You pointed at the floor behind him before turning around and stalking out of the kitchen. Deciding on a warm bath, you headed straight for the guest bathroom with a plush towel and the small bluetooth speaker. As you waited for the tub to fill, you unlocked your phone to pick a playlist and found a text from Odessa.

Odessa 1:36pm: I miss you!!! Don’t wanna invite you over for another movie night…but we should do something soon pleeease!

You missed her too, missed everyone really. The time you and Jake spent together was great, no doubt, but it had been too long since everyone was together and you were dying for a family night. After sinking into the bubbly water, you texted Dess back.

You 2:25pm: I miss you too❤️ are you free tonight? I think I’m gonna invite the guys over for dinner. I’ll get rid of Jake for a bit and you can come early and help me cook

Odessa 2:27pm: Absolutely! When should I be there, babe?

You 2:28pm: Around 5. Can’t wait to see you!

“Baaaaabe!” You yelled for Jake after dropping your phone on the towel beside the bathtub, “Come heeeeere!”

He came rushing into the bathroom with the dustpan in his hand, “What? Why are you screaming?”

Sitting up, you rested your arms on the side of the tub, laying your chin atop of them, “Tell your brothers to come over for dinner tonight. I miss them.” You held your hand out, wiggling your fingers at him, “Round them up, take ‘em out for a drink or two, and just be back here by seven.”

He took your hand and knelt down, giving you a peck, “And you just decided this yourself?”

“I did. Dess is gonna come over early to help me cook and you need some time out with the guys.” Cupping his cheek, you pulled him in for another kiss, “Just don’t get so drunk that you can’t eat……dinner…” You bit your tongue between your teeth with a smile as he shook his head at you.

“You’re greedy…” Jake dropped your hand as he stood up and started to leave the room, “I’ll call Josh.” He stepped out, leaving the door wide open.

_____________________________________________

“Danny said he’ll drop Odessa off and pick me up, Josh and Sam are gonna meet us at the bar.” Jake was pulling his old tan boots on when a knock sounded on the door, “That’s probably her.” He turned around to open the door, revealing Odessa standing on the porch.

She squealed, pushing past him and straight to you, “You look so much better since the last time I saw you, babe!” She wrapped her arms around you, squeezing hard.

“I feel so much better!” You squeezed her back, keeping her in your embrace until Jake cleared his throat behind her. Releasing her, you looked up at him, “Have fun, baby!” As you turned to pull Odessa further into the house, he stopped you.

“Come back here.” His tone held a certain authority that had you scurrying back to him without question. His arm circled your back, hauling you flush against him, as he whispered over your mouth, “I think I deserve a proper goodbye, don’t you?”

“Hmmm…I don’t know that I can give you a proper goodbye in front of Dess.” You fell into him with a grin, letting your arms hang loosely around his neck, “I love you, Jakey.” You giggled as you kissed him, “Have fun, home by seven.” You gave him a pointed look before peeling out of his hold and grabbing your friend to go to the kitchen. “You want something to drink, hun?” You pulled a stool out at the island for her to sit down.

“Can I ask for wine? Do you even have wine? I don't know what the rules are for pregnant friends…” She took a seat, folding her hands in front of herself as she watched you move around the kitchen.

You laughed, pulling a glass from the cabinet, “There are no rules and of course I have wine. You know who I live with, right?” You grabbed two bottles from the small wine rack, holding them up for her to see, “White or red?”

She pointed to the white and waited patiently as you put the red back and poured her a glass before handing it to her, “Thank you, babe!” Odessa took a long sip from the cup and placed it on the island, “You got the cast off, where is your ring?” Of course she’d be the first to notice…

“Shit…Jake’s been wearing it on one of his necklace chains for safekeeping.” You looked down at your hand, “We were busy today, I guess we both forgot about it.” Lifting your shoulders, you shrugged, biting back the smile as you thought about just how busy you’d been a few hours earlier, “Remind to get it off of him when they get back.”

She eyed you with a knowing look, a smirk tilting her lip, “Yeah, okay…So, what are we cooking?”

“How do you feel about pasta?” You opened the fridge and began pulling out different ingredients, “I was thinking a simple Cacio e Pepe, maybe some bruschetta and a salad?”

“Oooh, that sounds so good!” She stood up and came around the island, “What do you want me to do? Gimme some direction.”

“Do you want to start chopping these? I’m gonna go grab the speaker to play some music.” You placed a cucumber and a few different peppers in front of her and grabbed a knife from the block, “Dice the peppers into big chunks and just slice the cucumber.” You handed her the knife and scampered out of the kitchen. When you returned, you couldn’t help but laugh at the way she haphazardly chopped the veggies.

“What?!” Odessa dropped the knife on the cutting board with a huff, “Danny does most of the cooking at home! I’m trying my best.”

“Oh hush, hun. You’re doing great, just keep going.” You watched as she resumed her task and clicked the power button on the speaker, allowing it to connect to your phone, “What do you wanna listen to? Any preference?”

She grabbed the dish towel to wipe her hands off, “Actually, can I send you this playlist I made a few days ago?” She took her phone from her pocket after you nodded in approval and sent the playlist, “It’s good, I promise! Just full of songs that my mom used to listen to all the time that really stuck with me.”

Opening it up, you pressed the shuffle button without looking through the songs and let it play, “God, I love this song!” You started singing as you walked to the counter behind Odessa to retrieve the pasta dough that had been resting, “Does she speak eloquently? And would she have your baby? I’m sure she’d make a really excellent mother!”

“Hell yeah, babe!” Your friend was swaying her hips as she chopped, joining in to sing with you, “And every time you speak her name, does she know how you told me you’d hold me until you died?”

It wasn’t long before the both of you were having a full blown concert performance in your kitchen, using wooden spoons as drumsticks and a rolling pin as a guitar while you sang at the top of your lungs.

And I’m here to remind you of the mess you left when you went away

It’s not fair to deny me of the cross I bear that you gave to me

You, you, you oughta know!!!

The song faded out as you both keeled over with laughter, gasping to catch your breath, “Oh my god!” Odessa was wiping the tears from beneath her eyes as she straightened up and tried to stop laughing, “That was fucking amazing, I really needed that!”

You came up behind her and wrapped your arms around her, “Fuck, Dess… I needed that too!” You hugged her tight as she gripped onto your arms and leaned into you, “I love you, Dess…I haven’t thanked you enough for everything you’ve done for me.”

“Awwwe, Y/N, stop. You’re gonna make me cry.” She turned around to face you with a genuine smile, “I would do anything for you, babe. I love you so much…” She paused, her voice taking on a less cheerful tone, “I’ll never forgive myself for bringing Sage into you and Jake’s life.”

“Odessa, it-.”

“Just let me get this out, please. It’s been weighing on me.” She cut you off and you silently nodded for her to continue, “I knew she had her issues, but I swear, I never expected her to try anything with Jake… The day she met him, in Atlanta, I made it clear that he wasn’t available. Hell, he made it crystal clear the way he ignored her desperate attempts at flirting.” She shook her head with a sigh, “She kept going on about him on our drive back and I told her, again, that you guys had been together forever and she needed to just forget about him, and I thought she did. She didn’t bring him up once to me after that and then at the bar that night, when I introduced her to you, I really thought she was over it. She didn’t even look at him once.” You listened intently, wanting to hear her point of view, “I wanted you two to be friends so bad. She was my best friend, but you and I were getting closer and I just thought you two could love each other as much as I loved you both…But she started changing and I didn’t realize it at first and maybe if I had-” Odessa leaned back against the counter, trying to blink away tears, “Maybe I could’ve prevented all of the shit she- I’m so sorry, Y/N.” Her cries echoed through the kitchen as she put her head into her hands.

You could feel your own tears forming as you reached out to hug her again, “Do not blame yourself, Dess. None of it is your fault. She’s manipulative, conniving…just a twisted fucking person. I was the one who let her get close to me.” You released her and stepped back, “I saw the red flags, ignored my gut feelings, and at the end of the day, that’s on me. But nobody is to blame for the psycho shit she did except her. She made her choices and she should have to fucking pay for them.” You took a deep breath, suddenly feeling angry.

Odessa used her sleeve to wipe her cheeks with a sniffle, “Yeah…I wanted to ask how she isn’t…like…in prison?”

“Haaa. Because she literally manipulates everyone. I don’t know how she does it, but she’s good.” You were chewing on your lip, thinking back on the last visit from Detective Walsh, “Do you remember the detectives that came to the hospital? The one was an asshole.”

She took a few seconds to think before nodding her head, “Oh god, yeah. They talked to me in the waiting room and the one with the mustache, he was super patient and listened well. The other guy hardly let me get a word in. He would ask a question and then fill my mouth with his own answers before I could say anything.”

“Yeah, well, his hostility came from the fact that he was fucking Sage.” You said it with a grim chuckle, “Detective Walsh came by a few weeks ago and told us that his partner got suspended after they found out. But get this…Sage said that the other detective forced her to do everything and now there’s an entire separate investigation going on that paints her as a victim.” Your head dropped back as you trained your eyes on the light above you, your voice a whisper, “It’s like she’s always one step ahead…I just wish there was a way to beat her at her own game.”

“I mean, she admitted to stalking you, taking those videos and pictures… Shouldn’t that be enough to prove she’s guilty of something?” She crossed her arms over her chest as she stared at you.

“There’s no proof that she admitted to it. She said it to us, yeah, but it’s just ‘hearsay.’” You held your fingers up with air quotes as you picked your head up to look at her again, “Detective Walsh said it’s a he said/she said and that without tangible evidence, it’s inadmissible.” You shrugged your shoulders in defeat.

Odessa’s brows were drawn together in thought for a moment, “But what if you can get her to admit it?” She was thinking hard and you waited for her to elaborate, “You said she’s always one step ahead, but everyone has a weakness, Y/N…And I think we know what her weakness is, or who anyways.” She spoke carefully, unsure of how you would react to her suggestion.

“No. Absolutely not. Jake has been through way too much at her hands.” You were shaking your head profusely, “I wanna see her get what she deserves more than anybody, but I will not use him to speed the process up.”

“Okay. Hey, forget I even suggested it, babe.” She grasped your face in her hands, brightening her tone, “How about we get back to dinner?”

You looked at the digital clock on the stove, “Shit… They’re gonna be back in an hour and I do not have time to roll and cut the pasta.” You picked up the bowl of dough from the countertop, poking it with your fingers, “We’re just gonna have to scrap it and use store bought.” You flipped the bowl over and let the dough ball drop into the trashcan before going to the pantry for the boxed pasta, “Alright, get in the fridge and grab the arugula, the parmesan wedge and the cherry tomatoes.” Grabbing a large pot from a cabinet below the counter, you began filling it up with water to place on the stove.

Odessa came back to the island with everything you told her to retrieve, “Now what?”

“Uhhh… Hang on.” You climbed up on the counter to get your big, wooden salad bowl from on top of the refrigerator, “Here. Put the arugula in here, the peppers, cucumbers, slice the tomatoes in half and throw them in and then shave some parm strips into it.” You hopped down and gave her the bowl then grabbed the cheese grater for her, “I’m gonna make a dressing while I wait on this water to boil, turn the music up!” You pointed at the speaker that was still playing her playlist.

“Yes, chef!” She was quick to follow your orders, dropping everything into the bowl as she finished cutting the veggies.

You whirled through the kitchen, reaching for a mixing bowl and snatching a whisk from a drawer, before stopping to mix up a vinaigrette. Cutting a lemon in half, you squeezed the juice into your bowl and added some cracked black pepper and a pinch of salt, then a bit of dijon mustard and some garlic and whisked it rapidly. Once you were satisfied with how everything was mixed, you picked up the olive oil and began drizzling it into the bowl while constantly stirring, allowing it to emulsify. You ran your finger along the utensil and licked the dressing off to taste it, “Dess, taste this and tell me what you think. Is it too much lemon?” You held the whisk up for her to try it.

She dragged her finger over the metal and pulled it into her mouth, “Mmm!” Her eyes were wide as she tasted the vinaigrette, “That’s so fucking good!” She picked up a slice of cucumber and dipped it into the dressing before tossing it into her mouth, “I need that recipe, babe…”

You giggled as she mumbled past the food, “I’ll write it down for you later. Once you have the salad finished, drizzle this over top and give it a good toss.” You passed the bowl to her and went to tend to the boiling water. After dropping the noodles into the pot, you spent a few minutes to whip up a quick garlic bread and get it in the oven to bake.

Everything was coming together smoothly and you and Odessa were singing along to the music and setting the table with minutes to spare before the guys got in. You placed the main dish in the center of the table, with the salad and garlic bread on either side of it, while she gathered silverware. Once it was all set, you both took a break to dance around the kitchen while the music played, Keep Your Hands to Yourself by Georgia Satellites.

My honey, my baby, don’t put my love upon no shelf

She said, ‘Don’t hand me no lines, and keep your hands to yourself’

You and Odessa were laughing through the lyrics as you twirled each other around the room and didn’t hear the boys come in until Jake opened his mouth, “What the fuck is going on?” He couldn’t contain his smile as he watched you shake your hips. He was coming across the kitchen, arms extended as he grasped your waist to pull you in, “Food smells good, love…” He was half shouting over the music and your own voice as you kept singing.

He leaned in for a kiss but you planted a hand on his chest while wagging a finger in his face with a wicked smile, “I said, honey, I’ll live with ya for the rest of my life… She said, no huggee, no kissee until you make me a wife!” You pinched the ring that hung on his necklace between your fingers and held it in front of his face, “My honey, my baby…Don’t put my love upon no shelf-.” You were cut off by Jake circling his arms around you and lifting you from the floor. You let out a squeal, wrapping your arms around his neck as he spun you.

He let you back onto your feet and pulled his necklace off to remove the ring and slide it into its rightful place on your finger, “Can I have a kiss now?” 

“I guess so…” Your fist balled into his shirt to yank him against you and you let his lips find yours, “Mmm. You taste like bourbon.” Your tongue dragged across your lip and you’re sure Jake must’ve seen the fire that ignited in your eyes as he responded.

“You want me to just send everyone home so I can eat?” His voice was low, but not low enough to evade Sam’s ears, “I’m famished…”

“You guys are gross!” He was talking with a full mouth and you looked past Jake to see him standing with a piece of garlic bread in his hand.

You rolled your eyes at, “Sammy… You couldn’t wait for everyone to sit down?” You turned the music down as you padded over to him, “We worked too hard on this for you to just stick your grubby fingers in everything, go wash your hands.” You pointed to the sink.

He scoffed, rolling his eyes at you, “Y’know, I’m not your kid. You can’t boss me around like that.” It was a moot point, proved by the way he stalked past you to the sink and scrubbed his hands as you’d instructed.

“Hey, mama!” Josh tapped your shoulder and pulled you into a suffocating hug, “Dinner looks great, thanks for inviting us.” He placed a soft kiss to your cheek before releasing you and looking over your body, “You look good, Y/N.”

“You say that everytime you see me, Joshy.” You reached up to fluff his curls a bit, a habit you’d picked up over the past few weeks since he’d been around more often, “But I still appreciate it.”

He swatted your hand away with a gentle smile, “I know, but there’s something today…Something about your aura, maybe? I don’t know, I can’t place it.” He was studying you like he was trying to figure it out.

“Yanno, I said the same thing earlier.” Jake came up beside his twin with a smirk, “It’s something different…” His eyes flicked down to your chest and back up.

“Okay, yeah. Let’s eat?” You could feel your face getting hot as you headed for the table, stopping to give Danny a hug.

Your face pressed into his chest as he squeezed you, “It’s good to see you doing better, Y/N. You do look good.”

“She looks better than good. She’s hot as hell.” Odessa raised her third glass of wine to you from her seat at the table that she claimed 20 minutes earlier.

Sammy was behind you, his hands on your shoulders, “I don’t know what you’re all seeing… She looks a little rough to me. Kinda stinky too.”

You jabbed your elbow into his stomach, “Well then you probably don’t wanna eat my stinky food… Guess you���ll just have to order a pizza.” You turned around to stare up at him with a smile before forcing him into a hug, “I missed you, Sammy.”

He instinctively embraced you, his arms wrapping tightly around your shoulders, “I missed you too. But can we eat? It smells so good.” He pulled back with a grin as you nodded and gestured to the table.

“My love.” Jake held his hand out for you to take and led you to the table, pulling your chair out. Everybody else took their seats, Jake at the head of the table, Danny opposite him as usual. You and Josh were on either side of Jake, Sam beside you and Odessa beside Josh, her hand grasped in Danny’s.

They all took turns spooning food onto their plates. Jake made sure your plate was filled before he even thought about putting food on his own, “Baby, that’s too much.” You grabbed his wrist, stopping him from scooping another helping of pasta, “I was snacking while I cooked, I’m not that hungry.” He gave you a certain look. One that said he knew you were lying as he tilted his brows in question. You shook your head, dismissing whatever he was thinking, “I’m okay, baby. Promise. Just a little nauseous.” You whispered quietly to keep it between the two of you.

“You want me to make you some tea?” He took your hand, bringing it to his lips, “Tell me how to make it go away, love.” His lips brushed over your knuckles and you smiled at the way he still sent butterflies through your gut.

“Maybe just some water?” Your eyes followed him as he got up and went to the fridge to get you a bottle of water and came back, “Thank you, lover.” You leaned over the table to give him a kiss before settling back into your chair.

Conversations carried on as everyone ate and after a while, you all ended up scattered through the house. You sat on the couch, curled up to Sam as he rambled to Daniel about a science project they had in high school. Josh was thumbing through the shelf of vinyls, grumbling about how none of it was what he wanted to listen to. You giggled to yourself, watching him toss his hands around as he talked to himself.

“Josh, honey, what are you looking for?” You pushed off of Sam to stand up from the couch.

“Bob Dylan!” He threw his hands above his head with a growl, “Where is the Bob fucking Dylan?!”

Kneeling down beside Josh, you scanned through the vinyls yourself, “You know what, Jake might have some records in his office, come look?” You started the trek towards the back of the house with him on your heels. You noticed Jake and Odessa conversing in the kitchen as you passed and wondered what they were talking about. Pushing the door to the spare bedroom open, you stepped aside for Josh to enter and pointed to the record cabinet, “He always hoards a bunch in there. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to fight for my BB King albums… He likes to think that all the best stuff belongs to him.” 

“That’s because it does.” Jake was standing in the doorway with a sweet smile, “What are you guys doing?” His arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you against him.

Josh was coming towards you, carrying a few albums, “Needed Dylan.” He held the vinyls up to his twin and stalked past him, heading back to the living room with everyone else.

“Baby, we’re gonna need to find a place for all of your stuff here.” You gestured around the room.

Jake walked further into the room, pulling you with him, “Maybe we just need a bigger house.” He sat in his leather chair, yanking you down onto his lap, “How do you feel about moving? Finding something with more space? I’ve been thinking about it and I just don’t think this place is gonna be big enough.”

You tangled your fingers with his, thinking it over, “This is home, Jake.” You held eye contact with him, “This is where we’ve built our life, where we really started… I don’t wanna just pack up and move on, leaving all the memories.” A grin cracked across your face as you spoke, “I want to make more memories. With our baby… I want to make him bacon and eggs in our kitchen and give him bubble baths with toys in the clawfoot tub.” He brought your hand to his mouth, holding your knuckles against his lips while he listened, “I want to sit him on our sink to put a bandaid over his knee when he gets his first booboo and fall asleep on the couch with him during nap time… Uncle Sammy and Uncle Danny will teach him how to swim in our pool and pyromaniac Uncle Joshy will teach him how to start a fire in the pit for the best s’mores.” Your voice cracked a bit as you started to get emotional, “If we need more room, we can build an addition. We can build ten hundred additions, I don’t care… But I don’t want to leave, Jake.”

He was blinking quickly, trying to hide the tears that threatened his eyes, “You’re right. This is home.” He nodded as his grin started to match yours, “We’ll make room, build an addition, it doesn’t matter. We’ll stay here forever if that’s what you want, my love. I’ll start packing shit up tomorrow and we can get to planning his room.” He brushed his fingers over your legs as you both looked around the room, dreaming up possible colors and themes.

Silence fell over the two of you for a bit until you tilted your head to look at him, “Hey. What were you and Dess talking about in the kitchen?”

The question caught him off guard and he hesitated before answering, “Uhh, it was nothing…” Jake paused, but he realized you weren’t going to let it go until he gave you an answer, “It was- I just never really apologized to her for some things I said while you were in the hospital.”

“What did you say to her?”

“It’s not important anymore.” He tucked the hair behind your ear, giving you your favorite, warm smile, but you could still see it in his eyes; He was fighting with something that he didn’t want to tell you. “Should we head back out there?”

Deciding not to press any harder in the moment, you nodded and stood from his lap, “We left all the children with Daniel, he’s probably ripping his hair out.”

You both rejoined the group and it wasn’t much longer before Jake was shooing everyone out the door, “Y/N is tired, it’s past her bedtime.” He chuckled as he pried Sam out of the hug he had you wrapped in, “Get out, Sammy. It’s time to go home.” Everybody took their turns to hug you and say their goodbyes before leaving. He closed the front door and locked the deadbolt before turning back to face you, “I’ve been waiting to get you to myself…”

“So… The funny thing is- I’m actually tired.” You scrunched your nose at him as you spun around to head to the bedroom, “You need to shower.” You stated it plainly before disappearing down the hallway. You changed into a pair of sweats and an old t-shirt and climbed into bed. Jake passed the doorway on his way to the bathroom. He showered fast to join you in bed as quickly as he could, “You didn’t have to rush, baby.” You rolled over to face him as he slipped beneath the comforter.

His hair was still wet, soaking into his pillow as he laid down, “I didn’t want you to fall asleep without me…” He lifted his arm, allowing you to snuggle into him.

You drew circles over his abdomen with your index finger, “Jake, you don’t have to keep worrying about the dreams… I’ll call that therapist tomorrow.” You felt him hum in approval and press a kiss to the top of your head. The darkness and the quiet of the night lured Jake to sleep quickly and you listened to his gentle breaths, waiting for the calm to take you as well while pondering how to fix the trauma on your own. Unfortunately, the only answer you could come up with was going to the source and she was the last thing you wanted to deal with…

_____________________________________________

No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t fall asleep. It wasn’t Jake’s snoring or the dreams keeping you awake this time, it was the deep rumble in your stomach. You tried to ignore it, but it was persistent. You looked over at Jake, making sure he was definitely sleeping, before carefully sliding out of the bed. You padded into the kitchen, keeping your footsteps light on the hardwood, and flipped on the light above the sink before heading into the pantry. Unsure of what you even wanted, you started piling things into your arms. Peanut butter, a bag of pretzels, a pack of chicken ramen; everything made your stomach growl harshly. You left the pantry and placed your findings on the island to go to the fridge and gather more random items. A bag of carrots, a variety of cheeses and a few other things, later, and you were hoisting yourself up on the island. Crossing your legs beneath you, you leaned over to pull a drawer open, grabbing yourself a spoon. You spun the lid off the peanut butter, taking a heaping spoonful and giving it a few licks before reaching for the carrots. Dragging a baby carrot through the creamy peanut butter, you chomped on it, crunching loudly with a delighted hum. You moved on, indulging in different food combinations, each one oddly better than the last.

You had a slice of mango on top of a cool ranch dorito, mid bite, when the kitchen illuminated with the overhead light, “Y/N, what are you doing?” Jake was rubbing his eyes as he took in the scattering of food surrounding you, “It’s after two in the morning, love.”

“I couldn’t sleep…” You mumbled in defense, plopping the rest of the fruit and chip into your mouth, “He was hungry, daddy.” You poked your lip out as you rubbed your belly.

He tried to fight the smile creeping over his lips as he crossed the room to you, “Well, when his cravings make momma sick, I don’t wanna hear it.” Jake leaned on the counter, observing the weird buffet, “Are you really eating all of this?” He reached for the pile of pretzels sitting beside you.

“Baby, I wouldn’t-.”

His hand recoiled, a look of disgust on his face, “Why are they wet?!” He wiped his hand over your sweatpants.

You giggled sheepishly, “We don’t like pretzels anymore, just the salt.”

“You’re just sucking the salt- Why not just eat table salt, Y/N?” He was gazing at you like you were from another planet.

“First of all, that’s gross. The pretzel salt has a pretzel taste, table salt is only good with tequila, Jacob.” You picked your small paring knife up and cut another sliver of mango, “You have to try this, baby…” Placing the slice on a paper towel, you drizzled it with sriracha and honey before stabbing it with a fork and offering it to Jake.

“I’m not eating that.” He was shaking his head vigorously, “You shouldn’t eat that. You really are gonna make yourself sick.”

Pulling the fork to your mouth, you took a bite of the fruit, “Oh hush. I feel fine and this is delicious.” You took the rest from the fork, doing a little happy shimmy as you chewed, “It’s even better with a dorito…oooh! and cream cheese with lemons is also really good, babe.” You reached for the last slice of lemon on the countertop but he snatched it from your fingers and put it back down.

His mouth dropped into a grimace, “Alright, that’s enough. It’s bedtime.” He grabbed your legs, pulling you to the edge of the island and helping you down, “I’ll clean up. Go brush your teeth and then straight to bed.” Jake pointed to the kitchen doorway, shooing you off.

“God, you’re such a buzzkill, dad…” You rolled your eyes before turning away, earning yourself a light tap on the ass, “Hurry up, I’m tired.” You rounded the doorway and headed for the bathroom to follow Jake’s instructions. When you entered the bedroom, he was already tucked back into bed, waiting for you, “You put the fridge stuff away and left everything else, didn’t you?”

He held his hand out for you with a sleepy smile, “It’s almost three now. I’ll clean the rest up tomorrow.” Once you slipped your fingers over his palm, he pulled you down on top of him, hugging you to his body, “I love you, baby. You know that, right?” His voice was quiet, meant only for you and no other thing, living or not, in the universe, “This life that we’ve built- that we’re building… I still can’t believe we’re starting a family, Y/N.”

“We already have a family, Jake, we’re just expanding it with a little piece of us.” You snuggled into him, pressing your nose into his cheek, “He’s gonna have the best uncles and grandparents and, most importantly, the absolute greatest daddy in the world.” You squeezed your arms around him as you kissed his jaw, “I can’t wait to see all the things you teach him, baby… Do they make tiny SG’s for little baby hands?”

“I don’t think they do, my love.” He placed a lingering kiss on your forehead with a chuckle, “He might not want anything to do with music, maybe he’ll wanna be a chef like his momma, take over the family business.” Turning his head, he stared up at the ceiling, deep in his thoughts.

You watched Jake’s smile grow, lighting up his eyes, and it made your heart swell but your anxiety was still poking at your brain, “What are the chances we don’t completely fuck this up, Jake?” You rolled off of him and onto your back, now staring at the ceiling as well, “What if I’m like…the worst mom? What if I get everything wrong?” 

“Hey.” He rolled over, cupping your cheek to make you look at him, “We’re in this together. It’s new for both of us and we’re bound to make mistakes.” His hand went to your waist, pulling you against his chest, “I have no doubt that you’ll be an amazing mom, baby.” There was a pause before he added, “And on the very slight chance that we do fuck this up, we can always do better with the second one.”

“The second one?” You went wide-eyed as you tilted your head to look at him, catching his dimple as he tried to hide his smirk, “Okay, Jakey… I need some sleep before we get into that conversation.” He rolled away to turn the lamp off and came right back to his place, holding you against him once more. You snaked an arm over him before giving his lips one single peck, “I love you too, by the way.”

_____________________________________________

You sat at the small table in the corner, checking the time on your phone. You hated lying to Jake, hated that he had no clue what you were doing. When you couldn’t sleep, most of your tossing and turning in bed was accompanied by thoughts of the conversation you had with Odessa. But what if you can get her to admit it? You weren’t willing to use Jake. There was no way you could involve him in anything to do with her… So when you woke up and texted Sage to meet you today, you knew you needed an excuse to give Jake. “Baby, I’m just gonna get a ride into the city, I wanna grab a coffee and pick a few things up.” It wasn’t entirely a lie, you were sitting in a cafe right now, sipping a coffee. It just wasn’t the whole truth. He tried to argue, tried to tell you he would drive you, but you declined, telling him that you just wanted some time to yourself. He relented, watching you from the porch as you walked down the driveway and got into the back of an Uber. Now you waited. Would she show up? You checked the time again before opening up the text thread and reading back over your message.

You 8:05am: I’m giving you one chance to talk. I’ll be at the coffee shop at 10. You know which one. I’ll wait until 10:15.

It was 10:11pm when you put your phone down and looked up to see her coming through the door. She paused to look for you before slinking between other tables to get to yours.

She sat across from you, a weary look on her face and a rush in her words, “Why am I here, Y/N?” She was looking around the area, searching for something.

“If you’re looking for Jake, he’s not here.” You sat back in your chair, crossing your arms over your chest, “As for why you’re here, I just want to talk.”

She scoffed, almost like she was annoyed, “Talk about what? You have a restraining order against me, I could get in trouble for being here.”

“Of all the fucking damage you caused… That’s what you’re worried about?” Your disbelief was evident, “Why won’t you stop?” You stared at her, waiting for an answer, but she refused to meet your eyes, “After everything you’ve done, you owe me an explanation. Why us? Why me, Sage?”

“Because you don’t deserve him.” She finally lifted her head to look at you, tapping her fingers on the table, “You made it easy.” Her face showed no signs of remorse, “All I had to do was flirt, feed you a few lines… You were hooked the minute you saw me.”

“I don’t deserve him?” You sat up, resting your elbows on the table to really look at her, “You think you deserve him, Sage? Think you can make him happier?” You cocked an eyebrow at her, tilting your head.

A humorless laugh dripped from her mouth, “At least he would be enough for me, Y/N. I don’t need the attention of all of his brothers or people I meet in bars. I only need him.”

Now it was your turn to laugh, “Wow, you won’t let that one go, huh?” You picked up your coffee, taking a sip as you shook your head, “You know I didn’t sleep with either of them. I’m sure you’d have the proof if I did, but you don’t… You’ve been lingering in the background for months, just hoping to catch me doing whatever it was you suspected.” You leaned in close, dropping your voice low, “And when there was nothing to show for your psycho stalking, when you realized that nothing could come between me and Jake… You snapped. You wanted me gone so that you could slither your way in. Am I getting warmer?” You could tell the smirk on your face was eating away at her.

“He left after the Josh video, though, didn’t he? How did you sweet talk your way out of that one?” She leaned in as well, clenching her jaw.

“I didn’t need to sweet talk, honey. The truth presented itself on that one. Solid try, though.” You knew you’d successfully gotten under her skin and you were ready to end the conversation with one final blow. Sliding your chair out, you stood up, looking down on her, “Despite your efforts, I have a baby to worry about now.” You lifted your left hand to examine your ring, “Oh! And a wedding to plan.” You held your hand in front of her face, “You’re the least of my worries now, Sage…but I have a feeling that I’m still the most of yours.” Grabbing your coffee from the table, you flashed her a smile and walked by her to leave. She was pissed, seething with rage, but that was exactly what you wanted. She was right where you needed her, all you had to do was wait for her to take the bait.

Sage POV

You? Worried about her? Jake doesn’t want her… She’ll never be good enough for him, you just have to make him see that. But through all of your attempts, she still manages to wiggle her way out of everything. Manages to keep him in her grasp. He doesn’t want to marry her. She just has him believing that her baby is his, but you know better. Turning in your seat, you looked out the large window, watching her climb into the backseat of what must be an Uber. You watched the car pull away from the curb, an unkempt anger bubbling through your veins, until you felt a light tap on your shoulder. You whipped your head around to see him. Jake. Your Jake. He looked sexy…Always so sexy, “Jake… What is this?” You looked around, waiting for her to come back at any second, but then his fingers were on your chin, guiding your eyes back to him.

“She left, Sage. I have to be quick, she thinks I’m at home.” He spoke softly as he dropped his hand and took a seat across from you, “I’ve been trying to get away to see you for weeks…”

Something didn’t feel right… You craned your neck, scoping out the cafe again, “What is happening? Why are you here?” Slowly, your gaze came back to him, awaiting an answer.

He reached across the table, placing his hand on top of yours, and you thought you felt it trembling, but his steady voice distracted you, “I can’t be with her anymore, I don’t love her…” His voice. Oh god, his voice was like the greatest melody ever created, “I haven’t loved her for a long time, Sage.”

Why was he admitting this to you now? What was the catch? “At the hospital, you- What you said…” You thought back to his exact words, cringing at the way he screamed at you, “You said I was demented.” Your gaze went back to the window as you watched the cars go by, but your focus remained on the feeling of his hand over yours.

“I know. I had to. Everyone was there.” He paused until you brought your eyes back to him, “She was dying… I-” His voice cracked and he cleared his throat before continuing, “It would’ve looked bad if I just left her at a time like that.” He was shaking his head like his thoughts were troubling him, “It’s still hard… To leave her, I mean. She’s almost completely healed, but the baby-”

You cut him off, gripping his hand tightly in yours, “Jake, that baby isn’t yours!” You tried to keep your voice to a whisper to not draw attention to your corner, “I know in my heart it isn’t and we can find proof.”

He pried his hand from you to push his hair out of his face with a sigh, “I don’t know. She swears it’s mine, Sage. She wouldn’t lie, would she?”

“That’s all she does, babe. Just lie and manipulate and she’s not gonna stop until somebody makes her…” You took a deep breath, studying his face, his eyes, his body. Searching for any indication that he wasn’t being genuine with you before you confessed everything to him. His brown eyes were sad, you could see the pain he was fighting in them. He hated his life with her. She made him miserable. Only you could free him from it, “Jake, I need to tell you something…”

.

.

.

.

.

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[twistedworld101]

Chapter 10: The Fall of The Lord of Malevolence

Book 1: The Vengeful Teen

Chapter 10: The Fall of The Lord of Malevolence

[Classroom]

Malleus: For the last time, it wasn’t me!

Crowley: Malleus, this is for your own good.

Malleus: But I didn’t do it!

Crowley: Cease your excuses, isn’t this yours?

*Crowley shows Malleus the Roaring Drago that Yuu, Grim, Ace & Deuce found.*

Malleus: *Gasps* I was missing that last night and-

Crowley: Of course it is yours! Now, sit down.

*Malleus sits down in a chair*

Crowley: Draconia, for now on, you are going to be here instead of participating in any of your classes, by the end of each day, you can return to your dorm. And instead of going to your classes, you go and stay right here! And in fact, if I hear one more incident, I will expelled you and have one of the Diasomnia students who helped Idia from YOUR Overblot. Sliver to be the new Housewarden. Do I make myself clear?

Malleus: Crystal.

Crewel: Professor Crewel will be the first teacher to keep an eye on you.

*Then some of the Staff Ghosts appear*

Ghost A: Don’t worry, we’ll have eyes on him too, just as you requested.

Crowley: Splendid, I’ll be heading towards my office. And remember Malleus, 1 more incident and you’re expelled.

*Door shuts*

Malleus: 💭(I swear, I didn’t do it, I couldn’t find it last night. Lilia said that we can find it tomorrow, but I wasn’t expecting this.)

[Infirmary]

Trein: Was it really Malleus who injured you?

Idia: Well, I was trying to find a book that Ortho lost for his exams, so I did what any big brother would do. Finding it for him.

*Flashback*

[Interior hallway (night)]

(Last night)

Idia: Alright, it has to be here somewhere.

???: Looking for something?

Idia: Gah! Who are you?!

*It was a mysterious shadowy figure that looks like Malleus in his ceremony robes*

Idia: Malleus?!

*The mysterious figure beats up Idia*

Idia: What’s the big idea?

*Idia hits on the ground*

Idia: Wait a minute. You’re the guy who-

*Then a blast of green light brightens Idia*

Idia: Gahhh!

*End of flashback*

[Infirmary]

Idia: And that’s it.

Trein: Alright, and don’t worry, we’ll keep an eye on him.

[Library (night)]

(After school)

*2 mysterious figures were having a chat*

??? #1: Why having a chat here?

??? #2: Because, there’s nobody here. Thanks for framing Malleus, to be honest, you’re a real bruiser.

??? #1: Your welcome, doing a great voice expression and putting on ceremony robes and a headband of Malleus’s horns was just perfect.

??? #2: Yeah, and we had to ensure that Malleus is behind the chickenpox spell on the twins, thanks to me. Anywho, the others are almost done with the “Thing” I been planning.

??? #1: Good, and soon, am I going to get what I wanted?

??? #2: Yes, once we soon activate the plan.

??? #1: Good. We should head back to our dorms anyway, night.

??? #2: Night.

[Diasomnia Dorm, Malleus’s Room (Night)]

Malleus: *Sighs* Tomorrow is Thursday and then 2 more days til the Youth Festival. And I didn’t injured Shroud, yet people still think I did it, I wish that just at least a few people will know that I didn’t do that awful crime.

*Malleus goes to sleep and begins to have a dream*

(In Malleus’s dream)

Malleus: Hmm? Why is it so dark?

*Malleus uses his magic to lighten up the scenery*

[Disasomnia Dorm, Lounge (During Overblot)]

Malleus: Why are there thorns all around here?

???: Why? Why? Why nobody wants to be friends with me?

Malleus: Hmm?

*The voice was another Malleus but in Overblot form*

Malleus?: I tried to be nice, everyone fears me no matter what, I don’t understand. And now everyone hates me, why? why? WHY?

Malleus: Is that me? How dreadful!

Malleus?: Dreadful? Everyone fears us and hates us, surely we just want at least, a true friend.

Malleus: True, everyone feared me because of my powers, and I didn’t injured Shroud and didn’t poxed him and the twins. Rollo Flamme was right before about that I one day bring disaster to the world, I never mean to hurt anyone especially Child Of Man. You are me and I am you.

Malleus?: Hahahahaha! That is true, I am you! Lilia, he and Grandmother been keeping such secrets from us for years! We been trying to find someone to be our friend, for years!

Malleus: True, but I have changed my ways and even so, everyone fears me and now they all hate me because for what I did to them all.

Malleus?: Yes, true, but I won’t let you do that reformation nonsense!

*The appearance of the dream Overblot Malleus changes into Malleus’s Overblot Phantom*

Malleus: Is that a dragon, like the one the Thorn Fairy transformed into?

Malleus?: They hurt us! You will get stabbed and fell off a cliff with me! And even though you’ll be turned into ashes, everyone will still fear you in their hearts! For all eternity!

Malleus: They didn’t hurt me, I did it myself. No one to blame but myself.

???: We meet again.

Malleus: Huh?

*It was Rollo Flamme*

Rollo: Hehehehe, hahahahaha! Malleus Draconia.

Malleus: (Angry) Flamme!

Rollo: Indeed, in the flesh. I was right all along, you ARE a villain!

Malleus: Perhaps, but I shall redeem myself and starting by facing my demons, which is you both! Now you’ll deal with me and all the powers of the Abyss!

*A green aura was getting many drops of black guck, then a Diasomnia magic pen’s green Magestone was getting drops of black guck and then turns completely black*

*Malleus went Overblot but still remain conscious*

Malleus: Let’s settle this, once and for all.

Rollo: So be it. You vile monster. Dark Fire!

*Rollo transforms into his fiery form*

*Then a battle begins*

(Before turn 1)

Rollo: You will face my judgement!

Malleus?: You will fear my wrath!

Malleus: No, it is you who will fear my wrath! And your new salvation will end tonight!

Rollo: Never again! Malleus Draconia!

Malleus?: RAHHHHHHHH!

(After turn 1)

Malleus?: Give up, face it, we all know that you will always be alone!

Rollo: Exactly.

Malleus: You’re both wrong. I will have Lilia, Sliver and Sebek to keep me company. And even if they’re gone, I won’t care what people think of me! And I don’t care if I’m alone!

(After the final turn)

Malleus?: NOOOOOOOOO!

Rollo: Impossible!

Malleus: GAHHHHHHHHHH!

*Malleus unleashes a huge wave of green fire against his monster and Rollo*

Malleus? & Rollo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

{To Be Continued}

[odxrilove]

☆ OUR LUNCHBOX

pairing: seungkwan x f!reader

genre: fluff, friends to lovers, highschool!au

wc: 2k

synopsis: in which you and your friend, seungkwan, share a lunchbox together like usual but the conversation takes an unusual turn.

warnings: i tried to be as inclusive as possible (physically) but i realized after that yn blushes :( I'll try my best to find an alternative for that!

a/n: HAPPY BDAY EJUUUU @yeokill !! i love you lots and i’m so happy i get to celebrate ur bday with uuuu <3 ur finally 15 ahhhh my sweet sweet éjoopoo *teary eyes* they all grow up so quickly 🤧 alala i’m very proud of you and i hope you have a good day! u got this and don’t worry too much, u know we all have ur back and love u much 🫶🫶

back to masterlist !

you’ve known seungkwan for years, since the last year of middle school and frankly, you’ve never been lucky enough to be in the same class as him. each year you would see all your friends be put in the same class as his but never you. over time you learned to deal with it, but secretly you still hold a grudge against the school.

in your last year of highschool, luck finally waltzed over to your side, making you and seungkwan share a class. it was only one class and it was math, but at that point, you weren’t going to complain.

besides the very few classes you shared with him per week, you would still see each other in group hangouts, directly greeting each other when arriving at the place of rendez-vous.

but exam season has arrived and that means one thing, no group hangouts anymore for the time being.

you had a hard time going from almost daily group hangouts to weekly group hangouts to monthly group hangouts, all your friends busy studying at home or at the library in their free time.

but you simply couldn’t lock yourself up in a room and study all day, you need fresh air and other people around! so because of the lack of group hangouts, seungkwan proposed something; weekly hangouts for the two of you, one on one.

so every thursday after math class, the one class you share, you two meet up at your favorite table bench near the cherry blossom trees and behind the science building, away from prying eyes.

you often share snacks then, greedy hands picking another grape out of your my melody lunchbox seungkwan gave you for your middle school graduation, or gossip, sharing the latest secrets and news about your peers or acquaintance and giggling loudly about your teacher’s third husband or your classmate jongsu’s obvious crush on his deskmate, mikyung.

it’s always a nice moment, spending time with seungkwan– one you cherish, and you always look forward to it, passing little paper notes to each other in math class in excitement, pens scattered over your joint desks.

there was not one time you recall where you weren’t happy to spend time with seungkwan, where you didn’t have a big smile on your face, where you didn’t joyfully run over to the table bench and take the spot in the sun, always claiming it was your favorite spot but really letting seungkwan sit in his favorite spot right under the cherry blossom trees.

so when you two walk over to the table bench and you don’t run towards it and you don’t call out his name as you throw your bag on the wooden table, seungkwan gets a bit confused, eyebrows furrowing as he watches you slowly and quietly take a seat on the other bench, the one in the shadow.

he doesn’t really know what’s wrong and he’s scared to bring it up, scared that he’s going to look dumb for asking. because then you would find out he notices your little routine and maybe you would find it suspicious, and maybe you would finally realize that the glint in his eyes when he looks at you isn’t malicious but full of love.

seungkwan knows he’s staring so he looks away, eyes lingering on the way your fingers play with the elastic pink band from your lunchbox. it’s pretty quiet for your usual afternoon hangout, but to his surprise, seungkwan doesn’t find it that unpleasant.

if he didn’t know you weren’t your usual self, the silence would have probably been very comforting.

“so, did you hear what happened to jieun? i heard she tried to steal the test papers for english class.” seungkwan’s voice is soft as he speaks, eyes slowly peeking at your face.

you smile a bit, taking off the elastic band around your lunchbox and seungkwan chuckles, nodding as you glance up at him.

he continues, “apparently she didn’t show up for tutoring like she usually does because she was out with a boy from another highschool..”

your eyes widen a bit in curiosity and he knows you’re starting to become more like yourself again, more like the yn he knows. “-so she stole the papers because she didn’t study?”

the boy grins, “tried. she got caught by the gym teacher when he came by our class during lunch break.” seungkwan shakes his head at the information, a chuckle leaving his mouth. “i knew there was something going on between the gym teach’ and english teach’, he’s always hanging around her class and she even steps out sometimes to talk to him.”

at this point, you’re full on smiling, biting on the straw of your favorite cardboard juice box. “wow, i didn’t think jieun would ever even miss a tutoring session– she always said she could never take her eyes off the hottie who tutors english.”

seungkwan blinks, throat running dry. he snatches a slice of apple out of the lunchbox, eyes following your every movement as you fiddle with the strap of your bag.

“you think the guy is hot? how old is he even, 35?”

seungkwan sounds way more jealous than he wished he would but luckily, you don’t pick up on his bitter tone, arm stretching out towards him as you offer him another apple slice. the boy takes it eagerly, a blush creeping up on his cheeks as you continue to behave oblivious to his obvious attraction to you.

you tilt your head back, body leaning backwards as your hands keep a tight grip on the edge of the table. seungkwan gulps, he can see the wind blowing through your hair, sending you shivers.

“mmmh, not sure. he was cute before, but then he cut his hair.”

your tone is one he could describe as unbothered, and he’s glad that you don’t sound regretful or upset.

“yeah i’ve heard about the hair thing you girls talk about.” he starts off, genuinely curious about the whole ordeal. “i didn’t know a bad haircut could change your opinion on someone so quickly.”

for the first time since you two left math class that day, you lock eyes and you smile at him. a beautiful smile that makes his heart flutter and his cheeks heat up, ears reddening.

“you don’t have to worry about something like that, ‘kwannie. nothing could ever change the way i feel about you.”

his heart skips a beat, eating up every word that falls from your lips.

you don’t seem to notice how serious what you just said is. how important it is to him. how much it made his love for you grow. and if you did, then you’re really good at hiding your true intentions.

he doesn’t really know what to say, shuffling in his seat on the bench. suddenly, his favorite spot now feels like it’s closing down on him, nonexistent walls trapping you both inside a bubble until you’re inches apart and the tension breaks.

it’s again silent for a little while, the wind being the only one disrupting it. promptly, he starts to look around again, finding comfort in the most mundane things. he finds himself staring at a bird on a branch of one of the cherry blossom trees surrounding you. the bird hops towards the end of the branch before flying to another one, chirping and hopping again. out of nowhere, a second bird arrives and flies over to sit next to the first one, chirping too.

it makes him smile a bit.

seungkwan doesn’t know how much time passes until he decides to finally break the silence. he also doesn’t know what to say, so he opts for the safest option– something that’s normal during your weekly hangout; gossip.

“so, do you have an update about the prank those three freshmans are trying to pull on your chem teacher– what’s her name again, miss jung?”

you hum but shake your head. “no, they are still working on it. apparently, one of them got scammed while buying the bugs online.. tsk, i don’t think they will be able to pull it off before summer break.” you audibly sigh, biting one last time on the straw of your drink before placing the now empty juice box on the table.

with the way you frantically look around, seungkwan knows there’s something you’re not telling him, so he keeps quiet and waits.

“but, i heard something else. something interesting.”

seungkwan almost immediately gives you his full attention. normally, when gossiping with him, you would always blurt out the information or tease him about the new things that you heard. but never before had you done this, avoiding the subject until it was impossible to run away from it. was what you had found out really that bad?

the wind picks up a bit and he leans forward, arms crossed on the wooden table as cherry blossom petals slowly succumb to the sudden breeze, landing on the fresh ground and creating a realm of light pink clouds.

“moonbin told me something he wasn’t supposed to.”

his breath hitches in his throat. his body stills. his palms begin to sweat. seungkwan just watches you from across the table, a surprised but worried expression on his face. his hair flies with the wind and suddenly, he’s cold, even with his uniform jacket on.

he doesn’t notice it at first, too busy panicking internally, but then he sees it, the light red hues appearing on your cheeks. as if roses bloomed beneath your soft skin. it’s only visible for a fleeting second but he noticed, mind going blank. it wouldn’t be…

seungkwan doesn’t know where the sudden confidence even comes from but he finds himself looking you right in the eye and asking, “what did moonbin tell you?”

now there’s no going back, for the both of you.

you fiddle with your fingers, the words almost not being able to leave your mouth. “he told me that we always talk about other people’s crushes when instead, we should talk about our own.”

he knows that it was probably an accident, a moment in class where moonbin didn’t think twice before blabbering, but it doesn’t make him feel any better. “what else did he tell you?”

“he told me you had a crush, and that i know her.”

you don’t look at him anymore and the air feels almost suffocating. you could slice the tension between you two with a knife.

“you do know her. quite a lot actually.”

the knife took its aim, slicing through the thick cloud of tension.

you smile, heart eyes evident. “well, then you should know that i have a crush on someone too, and that you know that person very well too.”

this time it’s seungkwan’s time to smile, his short hair falling elegantly around his eyes. he leans forward a bit more, elbow and palm supporting his head as he stares at you, trying to remember every part of your face.

“my person always brings grapes to school, and she always shares.”

you grin, popping a grape right in your mouth, glossy lips gaining seungkwan’s attention.

“well, my person likes apple slices, and he always steals them from me.”

a chuckle leaves seungkwan’s mouth and he beams, unable to stop himself from blushing, again and again.

you decide to tease him a bit, absolutely craving to see his love-struck smile again, even if it’s only for a second. “you’re lucky your person brings her lunchbox to school then.”

seungkwan doesn’t mind the teasing, a sweet smile adorning his face as his shoulders relax, a cherry blossom petal falling next to him.

you stretch your arm out again, one last time as the lunchbox is now empty, holding up the last apple slice for him. the boy– your friend, crush, lover, you’re not sure what to call him yet, takes the piece of fruit from you, happily munching on it while keeping his eyes on you.

“my person, our lunchbox.”

taglist: @0x1lovebot @fairybinie @blaqpinksthetic @odetoyeonjun @pockyandme @soobin-chois @lolalee24 @soobisms @junityy @kaimal @laylasbunbunny @jaeyunverse @enhacolor @honglynights @starry-mins @bibinnieposts @raevyng @yoonzin0 @hoeforcheol @pearlygraysky

please do not copy, repost or steal any of my work. all content belongs to @odxrilove

[maxverstappensflatbrim]

Show Me Yours | Matty Healy [3]

chapter three, act one: antichrist

June 3rd 2011

The consistent knocking annoys Tommie, she groans, pillow over her head as she tries to block it out, but when she hears the letter box open and the familiar annoying accent float through the house she knows she can no longer ignore it.

“Tommie! Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom-”

“What!”

“Happy Birthday!”

Matty grins, holding a large balloon with two large numbers of ‘12’ written on it.

Despite her annoyance at her early wake up she smiles, “Thank you. I’m not twelve.”

He hands her the balloons as he pushes his way inside, “I have good news for you.”

“What?” She asks immediately.

“Some guy is supposed to be coming to our next gig, to watch us perform, if it all goes well, there could be some producing talks going on.”

“Really?”

There’s a skip in her step as she walks towards the kitchen to put the kettle on, twirling around to lean her back against the counter.

“Really,” He says, “And, I think it would help a lot if, maybe, you were there for it.”

Her shoulders drop and she looks down at her feet, the same slippers from last year on her feet, “Matty…”

“Tommie…” He repeats in the drawn out tone.

“You know I can’t do that.”

“Come on, Tom.”

“I’m sorry.”

“When are you working?” He asks.

She sighs looking away but he presses again, “When you in next?”

“Wednesday.”

“Great, pack a bag.”

“Matty-”

“You have six days, I’ll take you up today, you can relax for a day, help us out Saturday night, and I’ll bring you back Tuesday.”

“I have an exam Thursday, I have to revise.”

“Bring your stuff, I’ll help you.”

“With psychology and criminology?”

“Sure, why not, I can tell you all about drug charges.” He flashes that smile she hates (loves) and then steps towards her. “Please?” He flutters his lashes up at her, “For us? For me?”

“Fine.”

⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆

June 4th 2011

“Best show yet.” Ross grins, sweaty arm slinging over Tommie’s shoulder as he steps off stage, green bass guitar in one hand and her green guitar in his other.

She grins up at him, cheeks still flushed and eyes bright, almost reflecting the stage lights that had been pointing at them.

“I hated every second of that.”

Adam comes up to the other side of her, hand on her back, “You’ll grow used to it.”

“No, no,” She shakes her head quickly, “This is a one-time thing, Ads.”

“Tommie, you were a natural talent up there-” He tries to argue.

“Stage life isn’t for me, Adam, not right now.”

She squeals as she’s suddenly tackled from behind, Matty swings her around laughing into her skin where his head is buried into her shoulder, “Givin’ Jimi Hendrix a run for his money out there, Tommie.”

“You’re just saying that.” She says, nudging him away and relishing in the cool air that hits their skin as he opens the back door for her to step outside.

The pair walk down the alley a little, Matty searching his pockets for his cigarettes and taking two out.

He shakes his head, “No, I mean it. You know me, sweetheart, always telling the truth.” His words are muffled as he places both cigarettes in his mouth to light them, only when they have both been successfully lit- after Tommie had cupped both hands around his mouth to shield them from the wind- does he remove one to give to her.

She turns away, acting as if she is blowing the smoke out the other way, whereas in reality, she’s fighting back the blush at the new nickname.

She’s a redhead, they blush easily.

“Don’t shy away,” Matty says, nudging her hip with his own, “I mean it, Tom, you’re great. Almost the best.”

“Almost?”

He shrugs, “Got a little ways to go before you become better than me.”

She looks up at the stars above them, smiling at the moon. Matty follows her gaze, smiling to himself as he walks up behind her, chest to her back, chin brushing the top of her head.

“Pretty, huh?”

“What?”

He blows the smoke out the side of his mouth, eyes not leaving the sky, “The moon. Pretty?”

She smiles to herself, “The Moon was but a Chin of Gold, A Night or two ago, And now she turns Her perfect Face Upon the World below. Her Forehead is of Amplest Blonde, Her Cheek, a Beryl hewn, Her Eye unto the Summer Dew, The likest I have known. Her Lips of Amber never part, But what must be the smile, Upon Her Friend she could confer, Were such Her Silver Will, And what a privilege to be But the remotest Star. For Certainty She takes Her Way, Beside Your Palace Door Her Bonnet is the Firmament, The Universe, Her Shoe, The Stars, the Trinkets at Her Belt, Her Dimities of Blue.”

“Who wrote that?”

“Me.”

He leans back to look at her better but she smirks to herself and his adoring gaze drops as he shoves her, “Nah, Emily Dickinson.”

⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆

November 17th 2011

“Hey.”

Matty holds the phone to his ear by pushing his shoulder up, his hands focused on washing the dishes in the sink left by his bandmates.

“How’s the new place?”

“Uh, it’s new.”

She chuckles, “Ads, said you had something to tell me?”

Matty nods quickly, then realises she can’t see him, “I do, I do, very exciting. We were gonna tell you when you came up for Christmas but Hann said you can’t make it this year.”

“Yeah, sorry ‘bout that.”

He shrugs, and turns off the kitchen tap, wiping his hands on his black skinny jeans as he leans against the kitchen counter.

“What was it?”

She sighs and glances back at her few school friends before stepping outside the study room away from their prying eyes and knowing smirks.

“We got a call last week, from Jamie.”

“Yeah?”

“He’s starting his own company now.”

Her shoulders slump slightly, “Oh, I’m sorry, Matt, I know how much you liked this manager.”

“Yeah.” He says to himself.

“What’s it called?”

“Dirty Hit.”

“Sounds cool.”

He nods, “Is cool, yeah, especially since it’s a record label and he’s signed us on as his first artists.”

“Holy shit!” One of the support teachers passes by her with a kid beside her, sending her a disapproving glance and she turns away, repeating the two words much quieter, “A music-producing company?”

“Yup. We’re gonna do a few EP’S for him, hopefully, get an album out too.”

“Which ones for the E.P?”

“Woman, antichrist, chocolate, and robbers.”

“Good choices.”

He laughs, “You’re only saying that because you helped write most of them.”

She hums, “You have any recording sessions?”

“Two, December and January, were going to try and convince you to stay down for a week longer to help but now you’re not coming at all.”

“I’m a working gal now, Healy. Gotta make a living somehow.”

“You can make a living counting cards.”

“Yeah, cleaning up the tables?” She asks sarcastically, “In Manchester, yeah?”

He laughs, she knows him way too well. He hums, crossing his arms as he tilts his head to the side, “You can come up here, live in the city, leave the country behind.”

“Not sure, Healy,” She says, “Kinda love the country, it’s my home.”

“It’s full of drugs and dead sheep.”

“Wow.” She says mostly to herself, “And what’s in the city? Even more drugs and dead bodies?”

“You could make a nice life for yourself up here. Settle down, find love, join the band-” Before she can cut him off, which he knows she’s going to do he quickly adds, “Or find a stable job you actually like.”

She sighs and fiddles with her school tie, “You know how I feel about change, Matty.”

“That would be the ‘tism in you.”

She rolls her eyes at his comment, “I like it here. I’m comfortable, I’m home.”

“Could make a home up here with us.”

“Can I be honest?”

Her question is met with a very quick reply, “Of course.”

“I’d rather kill myself than ‘make a home for myself’ in England.”

“A betrayal to your people.”

She hums, “To all of Welas.” She says, using the old medieval name of her country knowing he’s had to sit through the painful history lesson much like she had in GCSE.

“But, seriously, Tom,” He says after a few more moments of silence, “If you ever need a home, you can come up here and join ours.”

“I know, Matty,” She says quietly, a smile on her face that he wishes he could see, “Thank you.”

“That’s not just why I called.” He says quietly, he’s silent for a few moments, a few moments too long because Tommie is calling his name softly.

“For the EP, I wanted to take one of your poems, turn it into a song, not just one line, the whole thing, untouched.”

She nods, “Sure, which one?”

“I want you to sing it.”

She pauses, “Me?”

“You have a great voice, Tommie,” He tells her, “When I first heard it, Jesus, it was like hearing this new undiscovered instrument for the first time.”

She blushes, kicking a foot out before her, “Matt…”

“Please?” He asks quietly, “I want everyone to hear you.”

⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆

December 29th 2011

“Okay, Tommie, we’re gonna run through Me one more time, you ready?”

She plays with the sleeves of her jacket and looks through the little glass at everyone, she clears her throat and nods.

George is the one who takes note of her fidgeting and glances back at the room full of eagle-eyed producers, “Hey, uh, you guys can head home, we can finish up the rest.”

“No, we’re-”

“Go home.”

Matty raises a brow watching them filter out, Jamie sends Tommie a wave, pressing the button to speak to her, “See you tomorrow, T.”

She smiles waving goodbye then as Matty walks them to the door turns to George mouthing a little ‘thank you’, he nods giving her a smile.

She clears her throat, lifting the headphones up over her ears and turning away. Matty climbs back into the spinning chair with an excited grin as they listen to her singing the song.

He leans forward, head resting on his hand as they watch her read the lyrics she’d quickly written into a notebook of some of the other songs.

“Backing vocals for all of them?” She asks and receives two nods of confirmation, “Even Woman.”

“Especially woman, you’re playing the role of the woman.”

“What’s that song even supposed to be about?”

“Prostitute.”

“Charming.” She mutters.

She wraps the cord of the headphones around her finger and watches them both mutter between each other, “Can you do facedown, last one, we covered the city yesterday.”

She nods and lifts the headphones back over her ears as the first few chords of the song fill her ears.

“She’s good, she coming on tour with us?”

Matty shakes his head, “Why not?” George asks, moving to turn the dial and make her vocals louder. He’s gotten the hang of this producer thing quite quickly, and his favourite thing to do is an experiment.

“I don’t know, Hann said something about her mother, uh- hang on that’s him.”

He stands and answers the phone turning away from George, “Is Tommie there? She’s not answering her phone.”

“Yeah, she’s in the booth, almost finished.”

“Get her, please.”

“She’s almost done, we’re on the last one.”

“Matty, now.”

“Hann, we’re almost done, what could be more important-”

“Matty, I’m not messing around right now.”

He sighs and walks over to George nudging him, “Get her out.”

“She’s only got a few lines left.”

Matty shrugs and leans over, flicking the music off and holding down the button to speak to her, “Um, Hann’s on the phone for you.”

She nods, hanging the headphones on the mic and walking over to them, “Hey, Ads.”

“Um, are Matty and George still there?”

“Yeah, shall I put you on speak-”

“No, you might want to go outside.”

She looks away from them slowly, moving to the other side of the room, “Ads, what’s going on? What’s wrong?”

“I- uh, don’t know how to say this, you need to come home.”

“Okay, okay, what’s happening?”

“It’s your mum.”

[study-with-aura]

Monday, May 13, 2024

Today was a good day! I really enjoy the new docuseries that I am watching. I am glad I put in my schedule to watch two episodes today because I wanted to keep watching after I watched episode 2! There is no volunteering at the library right now, so I have two extra hours in my day to get things done. They won't start the volunteer project back up until June, but even then, I can only attend a few over the summer because of the trip, camps, and the summer ballet intensive. It will be a full summer. Also during this time, I will start studying for my History exam, which is supposedly the most difficult exam I will take until I start ARCT work. It is a good thing that I enjoy history, even music history! History of all kinds is fascinating!

Tasks Completed:

Geometry - Finals review

Lit and Comp II - Reviewed Units 15-17 vocabulary + read the news + worked on non-fiction writing assignment (due Thursday) + CLEP Test practice question + reviewed study guides

Spanish 2 - Reviewed La Casa vocabulario + reviewed formal commands + reviewed passive voice

Bible I - Read Matthew 24

World History - Typed up an essay on what I thought the most important current issue we need to deal with on a global level was (I chose genocide and climate change)

Biology with Lab - Learned about another group of invertebrates + learned about vertebrates + filled in graphic organizer chart (last two sections) + continued germination lab

Foundations - Read more on wisdom + continued writing my argumentative speech

Piano - Practiced for two hours in one hour split sessions

Khan Academy - Completed High School Geometry daily mastery challenge + completed High School biology daily mastery challenge + completed World History Unit 3 test (78%, so close to a B, but I have more studying to do apparently!)

CLEP - None today

Streaming - Watched Empire Games Episodes 2 and 3

Duolingo - Studied for approximately 30 minutes (Spanish, French, Chinese) + completed daily quests

Reading - Read pages 143-183 of The Weight of Our Sky by Hanna Alkaf

Chores - Cleaned my bathroom + cleaned windows in my bedroom and in the study + took the trash and recycling out

Activities of the Day:

Personal Bible Study (2 Corinthians 10)

Ballet

Contemporary

Journal/Mindfulness

[butterfly-lies-chase-them-away]

Thank you my lovely @j0kers-light for the tag, all my love 💚 Rules: in a new post, show the last line you wrote (or drew) and tag as many people as there are words (or as many as you feel like)

“With the cat he’s running around with, he ought to be more lenient,” Alfred quipped.

Gosh, I haven't written in so long, i completely forgot my last line was a joke from Alfred XD (Behind the Mask Part Two) but yes, I am so sorry for the absence, I've been so focused on studying that I haven't had time to write or even be on tumblr at all. I've just had one exam on Saturday (who the fuck puts exams on a Saturday!?) and I just have two more to get through (Tuesday and Thursday) then I am frEE from uni for like a good month, so I will be able to write then. So sorry for the absence everyone 💚 thank you for your patience

💚💚 No pressure, just letting you know I love and appreciate you: @naoko-world @hoodeddreams13 @a-literal-no-name @acapelladitty @gea-chan96 @koalamysterio @potter-solomons @mollybegger-blog @raincoffeeandfandoms @elfwoodfae @fapqueen @lupinsfavslytherin + anyone who wants to

[star-my]

berserk tiger - iv. impulsion

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Kim Seo-ah (OC)

Rating: PG-13

WC: 1.6k

CW: sibling shenanigans (Jinah extorts Yoongi semi-seriously), lack of boundaries between characters, Miran may (not-so-)secretly be a voyeur? (Jin is Shocked)

A/N: No beta so feel free to point out typos or give concrit. Compliments are always nice. Moodboard photos are taken from Pinterest, edit is mine. This part is inspired by @sabiekay <3

| Series Masterlist & Description | Masterlist | Ao3 |

Taglist (open): @bangtan-famiglia-net @bangtanwritershq @kayleefriedchicken @veronawrites

Seo-ah knocked on Yoongi’s office door, poking her head in when he greeted her. “I’m back.”

He nodded. “Did you have a good time?”

She grinned, thinking of what she’d left in her closet. “I did. Miran is really fun to be around.”

Yoongi’s eyebrow raised. “Good, maybe now that I have a wife, that’ll keep her out of my hair.”

With that cryptic comment, he returned to his work. Taking the silent dismissal for what it was, Seo-ah closed the door silently and returned to her, no their, room. She had a closet to organize.

~~~

Jinah immediately tracked Seo-ah down when she returned from school, plopping onto the tufted bench in the middle of the closet with a sigh. “How was your day, unnie?”

“It was good, I went shopping with a new friend and then I’ve been putting my things away. How was yours?”

“Same as usual,” she shrugged, pulling a candy out of her pocket and popping it into her mouth. “Want one?”

Seo-ah refused the offer, not wanting to get her new things sticky before she’d even worn them. 

“You should go study, Jinah. It’s almost time for your exams.”

With a belaboured sigh, her sister got up, though she lingered at the doorway. “What’s that?”

Seo-ah glanced down at the item in her arms, a smirk tugging at her lips. “It’s a wedding present from me to Yoongi. Don’t you think it suits him?”

Jinah cocked her head at the fabric Seo-ah held up. Nodding, she agreed. “You must tell me what he says about that.”

“Okay, as long as you study,” Seo-ah insisted.

Rolling her eyes, Jinah left, leaving the door open behind her.

“I left you a snack in the fridge!” Seo-ah called after.

She continued her folding and sorting, down to the last bag now. 

A cough behind her made her turn to see Yoongi standing in the doorway. “I thought I should let you know that dinner is almost ready. Uh, I’ll leave you to–”

His gaze flicked down to what she’d paused folding, then back up to her eyes.

Willing herself not to get flustered, as she remembered that she was putting away a rather scandalously lacy lingerie set Miran had forced her to buy, she simply nodded. “Thank you, I’ll be there in a minute. I’ll be settled and ready to cook tomorrow.”

“You don’t have to–”

“I like to,” she insisted, turning to hang the lingerie in the darkest depths of her half of the closet.

“Alright. Do you mind if I join you sometimes? I like to cook as well.”

She smiled at him. “Of course not, it’s your kitchen. There’s plenty of space so we shouldn’t worry about getting in each other’s way.”

He nodded silently and left just as silently, leaving her to stare after him curiously.

~~~

The meal was fairly quiet, though Jinah did her best to contribute conversation. 

“How would you feel about hosting a welcome dinner so my closest employees can meet you and Jinah?” Yoongi suddenly asked, setting down his chopsticks.

Seo-ah blinked. “That sounds fine. When were you thinking?”

“Hm, would next Thursday work for you?”

“That sounds fine. You know I never have a packed social calendar,” she grinned. 

“And what about the first of next month, we reveal our relationship to the public? Quietly, but just something to show off my beautiful wife and let them know that I’m a taken man now?”

Jinah cooed. “You’re earning more and more Husband Approval Points, oppa. Keep it up!”

Yoongi glanced at Seo-ah, who tried to hide her smile behind her water glass. “Thank you?”

“When you reach one thousand HA Points, I may consider forgiving you for not letting me know you were dating my sister until after you were married,” Jinah informed him.

“Jinah–” began Seo-ah, but Yoongi raised his hand, shushing her. 

“How many Husband Approval Points do I have at the moment?”

“Five.”

He tsked. “How do I gain these points?”

“Being good to Seo-ah. I will also add two points for every ten thousand won you give me.”

“Jinah!” scolded Seo-ah, now truly shocked. “That is very out of line for you to say!”

“I respect your hustle,” Yoongi told Jinah seriously, fishing his wallet out of his pants. He handed three 5,000 won bills to her waiting hand. “15,000 won, equal to five Husband Approval Points, correct? That brings me up to ten points, or one percent approved of.”

Jinah nodded. “You’re smart. I knew I liked you.”

Seo-ah kicked Yoongi’s foot under the table, making him look at her and her frown. “Don’t encourage her extortion, Yoon.”

He stared at her.

Clearing her throat at the sudden tension in the air, Jinah spoke up. “It’s May twentieth now, which gives Yoongi-oppa approximately six and a half months to reach one thousand points by the end of the year. Care to make any bets on if he’ll make it?”

Yoongi tore his eyes away from Seo-ah to face her sister. “That sounds very arbitrary, especially if you plan on being in charge of the betting and point-awarding. What’s to stop you from rigging it? I think I’d better call my financial advisor here so we can settle this clearly.”

Seo-ah kicked his foot again, harder. “There’s no need to disturb Seokjin and Miran this late, Yoongi. Jinah, no betting, and no bribing Yoongi. You don’t need to disturb him.”

Jinah tsked but settled down, winking at Yoongi when she thought Seo-ah didn’t notice.

~~~

Yoongi’s head poked around the closet door to their bedroom, his sudden appearance in her peripheral vision making her turn. 

His deadpan face made her blink in confusion for a moment before she remembered what she’d left on his shelves.

Ah. He’d found it. “You found my present?” she smirked.

He stepped out of the closet fully, revealing the cat-print pyjamas she’d bought under Miran’s urging after they giggled about his feline-ness that morning. Stifling a giggle as she took in the look, she managed, “They look very nice…they really suit you.”

“It would be rude not to wear them when you took such care to get them for me,” he excused himself, sliding into bed and hiding the view under the covers.

She snickered again, joining him and turning out the lights. Miran would be so happy to hear how their prank had turned out.

~~~

Kim Seokjin and Miran’s house

“Babe, you have to leave early to meet Yoongi at the office for that meeting this morning, right?”

Jin turned from fixing his hair in the mirror to his wife, a little puzzled at the non-sequitur.

“I’m going to leave in half an hour, why?”

“Why don’t you carpool today and go pick him up? I’ll go with you, I want to visit Seo-ah.”

Jin shrugged in acquiescence. “Alright, I can leave in five instead. You’re getting close to his wife fast, aren’t you?”

Miran’s head emerged from the dress she pulled on, arms patting down the creases. “I guess so. It’s nice to have someone who understands what it’s like being married to a mobster.”

“Jagiya…we don’t know what she knows, yet. Please don’t get too attached until we know what Yoongi is doing.”

“I know, I know,” she bumped him out of the way to brush her mascara on. “It’s still nice to make new friends, though!”

Jin let them into Yoongi’s house with his key and passcode, surprised at how dark and quiet it still was. He headed to the kitchen to make some tea, expecting Miran to be right behind him.

Of course, his nosy wife was not, instead tiptoeing down the hallway to Yoongi’s room.

Jin followed her reluctantly, wondering at her invasion of privacy while also knowing that Yoongi had to be up and ready to leave soon.

“Aren’t you even going to knock?” he whispered in Miran’s ear as she wrapped her fingers around the handle. 

“Shh, I want to see something,” she hissed back.

Jin gasped. “Since when was my innocent Miran-ie a voyeur?!”

She elbowed him back with a glare. “Not that, Jin. Seo-ah got him cat pyjamas and I need to see if he’s wearing them. There’s no way he’ll wear them unless he’s actually in love with her.”

Now Jin’s curiosity was aroused, and against his mature adult brain’s warnings, he followed his impulsive teenage brain’s idea instead.

~~~

Yoongi and Seo-ah’s house

Seo-ah blinked her eyes open, feeling surprisingly rested. Where was she? Oh, yes, her new husband’s bed. He was awake already, looking at her for who knows how long. She blushed, reaching up to pat her bedhead down. 

“How long were you awake?”

“Not long.”

His already sensual voice was even worse better in the morning, she found out, feeling something when he spoke. 

“So, about last night…”

She hummed, closing her eyes, still too asleep to remember.

“You called me Yoon.”

Her eyes flew open. “Sorry, was that inappropriate?”

He shook his head, one arm emerging from the covers to pat her still-mussed hair down. “I haven’t been called Yoon in years. It was nice to hear. Nicknames really sell the act, too, don’t you think?”

“You’re right…yeobo.”

His eyes crinkled at her teasing advance.

“Glad you agree, jagiya.”

A scratch at the door made Yoongi turn, eyes narrowing. 

“Would that be your sister?”

Seo-ah shrugged in confusion. “Jinah?”

A loud yelp sounded from outside, and Seo-ah rushed out of bed. Yoongi halted her at the door, putting his arm in front of her and quietly wrapping his hand around the knob and turning. 

He yanked it open to reveal Jinah holding one of his nice kitchen knives in the air, pointed at his second and his second’s wife, who were directly outside the door.

“What is going on?”

[mortallyandrogynoussheep]

1/100 days of getting my life back together

Wednesday, July 3, 2024

So I decided to try to do a thing for the first time ever since forever - try to start having a blog(?) again, because, well, the brain rot is real. I've deleted twitter for now to give my brain some rest, because a lot of things were stressing me out.

My life has been a real mess the last few months and I really need to get my shit back together. This semester was the biggest flop so far (which is not to say that much - it's only a second one, but still) and I'm really upset about it.

I've come off one of my meds, that were making me insanely sleepy whenever I tried to focus (still have no idea whether that was a real thing or no, but they either way were not doing anything for me), got back on antidepressants, that are a-okay to me, at least side effects wise, and I was hoping that NOW I will be so much better at school. It got so much worse.

Not my room, but the vibes sum everything up quite perfectly. Everything feels insanely hard to do. I feel like a failure. I'm stressed and lost, but we persevere to the best of our abilities.

Anyway, I am writing this post one day after the 3rd of July, because I figured I should start somewhere, and despite wanting to have the first entry be as perfect as I want to become later, I figured that I have already tried that approach earlier, and it always falls off. Maybe it's better to start bad, slowly trying to build up all the habits and changes.

After all it is 100 days of trying to get my life together, not 100 days of describing my life being together.

Anyway, on 3rd of July I wanted to do some document related work and do some job applications, but because of fucking up my sleep schedule days prior to finish an assignment (which I got 100% for, insanely), I could not resist falling asleep in the day and then waking up late in the evening. That then scaled to 4th of July night, when I could not fall asleep again until 4 am, and the cycle repeated again.

So, yeah. T'was a flop. I didn't do anything good or productive for studying. The only thing I managed to accomplish was tidying up the place a little, but not the dishes. Luckily, my boyfriend helped me with that. It feels so much better to be able to work as a team on tasks that feel this big and unbearable.

2/100 days of getting my life back together

Thursday, July 4, 2024

It is currently 13:44 as I am writing this. Woke up (or more so, thankfully, got woken up by my boyfriend) by about 12:30. Still feel very poopy, but in today's plans are to do some studying for the first out of my two exams, and maybe a little bit for the second one.

DB 2

DB 3

SE2

dishes

DB 4

Probably will keep editing this post for any relevant updates that are not shitposts.

15:08 - 16:02 finished the db2 and 3 bits, 3rd one was way shorter than I expected. it turned out that I already had a set of flashcards on quizzlet there on it, so that was a win. originally was planning to study for one hour, but then finished 6 mins earlier, because my brain was fried and finished the dishes on my break. now back to studying

16:17 - 18:01 finished working on the SE2, but the lecture was kinda short and won't be that important at the exam, so I can't say I studied it properly. i will put more thought into it later (maybe), but not for now, since my ass is BURNING from the heat of upcoming deadline for the exams and there are more complex things i need to learn. started working on DB 4, which was an addition on initially planned to-do list. a little more than 1.5 hours of trying to understand the lecture made my brain feel GONE. i started to feel very irritated at the end, so im gonna be taking a break.

18:36 - 19:52 some minecraft break for mindlessly and quietly doing some things around our base. cleaned up the ground for where i want to build our house, transferred some stuff and organized it in a new chests system. the project will take A LOT of time so yuh. did i spend too much time on it? yes. will i do it again? also yes, probably. then we ate some dinner and now im comming back to some studying and note taking.

21:09 - 22:22

did some more note taking on DB4, not finished with it yet, but I think I'll call it a day for today. I'll probably play some more Minecraft before sleep and reread my notes and flashcards too. overall I feel still kind of unsatisfied with the day and its' results, I think mostly because of this is 1.5 hour game break, but it is what it is for now. overall I guess I did do some stuff done today, so it's still a win, right?

[snoopyreadsliterature]

[01.02.2024: thursday]

31/100 days of productivity (one month of productivity!)

very late post today because my morning was incredibly rushed and busy! but good news: my exam went well and that means i only have my art exam and my english test (both tomorrow) left and those are (probably) my very last exams before graduation.

goals for today: - revise material - study vocab. - do run + workout (didn't do this yesterday, and "never miss twice" applies very much) - get to sleep on time

carpe diem, friends! do it now! (or do it tomorrow. just don't do it never.)

tune of the day: Talk - Hozier

left: went to the library & my faith in humanity is restored. right: the sun on buildings, feeling hopeful for the time ahead.

[suna1suna1]

It's WIP Wednesday again!

Alright, the tag game didn't work super great either, but that's okay. I got one person to play and they've got a really cool webcomic wip so it's all good lol

So, no art wips this week, but I do have an announcement.

The first chapter of To Catch a Hedgehog will be posted on AO3 next Thursday (probably after I get home from taking my chemistry exam)! After that, until such a time as it has been completely finished, I will update monthly, on the 1st of each month. I'm super excited to share this fic with all of you, and I hope you enjoy it! If you're looking forward to it, mark your calendars for February 1st! ^^

Now, here's this week's tag (go follow them, they're really cool) @deadrabbithq

And here's this week's progress! (that I totally didn't do late last night nope)

Shadow: "Sure. Let's go with that."

Shadow: "On another note, how attached to your job are you?"

Rouge: "0_0" 

Rouge: "Nah, I'm sitting this one out. You have fun. I'll try and cover your tracks." 

Shadow: "I didn't ask you to do that." 

Rouge: "You asked me if I was willing to be fired. I'm not. I'm compromising." 

Shadow: "Fair enough." 

There was another chime, and a new email address appeared in his inbox. No profile picture. The name was a string of nonsensical numbers and letters. 

yy783y7hhuqq7ht: "Would have come up with something cooler if my roommate had let me but oh well. It's me." 

Shadow rolled his eyes before he replied. 

Shadow: "What would you have come up with?" 

Sonic: "idk, fastest.thing.alive? Oh, wait... fuck, that's my ex's email. DAMN IT WHY'D HE TAKE THE COOL ONE?"

Shadow bit back a laugh as another message from Rouge came through. 

Rouge: "Look, just be careful, okay? It's not just losing your job you'll have to worry about." 

Shadow: "I know." 

He closed the window with their chat and turned his focus back to Sonic. 

Shadow: "Anyway, who is it that's gone completely 'Netic?" 

Sonic: "...Alright, here's an idea. It would be easier if I showed you. But since I can't trust you not to try and shoot my brains out, you come unarmed, and I bring back-up." 

Shadow: "Alright... but come where?"

Sonic: "The Mobius Strip. It's an Xtreme racing track. I used to race there not too long ago." 

Shadow: "Why did you stop?" 

Sonic: "Eh, dated a guy I met there for a little while, but he's just kind of a douche, so I try to avoid him." 

Shadow recalled the green-feathered hawk he'd seen talking to Sonic the night he followed him and Knuckles down to Station Square, and his quills stood in revulsion as he shuddered. If that was who he thought he was, he could see why Sonic would want nothing to do with him. 

Shadow: "Do you miss it?" 

Sonic: "Well, yeah, I guess... It was decent money for me too. But I couldn't trust that he wouldn't sabotage me because we broke up, so I cut my losses..." 

Shadow: "I take it you won quite a bit then? Or were you a foul player?"

Sonic: ">:( Rude, man. I race fair and square. Not my fault I'm aerodynamic." 

Shadow: "I've seen you on your gear. That's abnormally fast." 

Sonic: "Okay, yes, but that was after I quit. I had a friend juice it up for me. Better for running from the Hounds. And you. Oh, wait... you have those stupid rocket boots." 

Shadow: "Implants. Got them shortly after the Council died." 

Sonic: "Dude, just say they were murdered. We all know they were. Hell, you might have even done it."

Shadow: "Now who's being rude? I didn't. That was somebody else. At that time I was still in college." 

Sonic: "You went to college?"

Shadow: "Had to drop out before I got my bachelor's."

[thejilyship]

another day in october

Happy jilytober! This is a fluffy, tropey, HEA, fic that I was inspired to write! Also weird HC, but James and Lily got together on a Thursday. I'm not accepting critics on this, thank you. 

Part One | WC: 3.6K

_________________________

The Thursdays of Lily’s seventh year, made her feel like she was really working for her weekend.

Thursdays consisted of a double block of N.E.W.T. level Defense, followed by N.E.W.T. level Transfigurations, followed by a double block of N.E.W.T. level Potions. Arguably the three hardest of the core classes, at least for Lily, all rolled into one day.

One day where her brain didn’t get a chance to rest.

And when she walked into the defense classroom and saw ‘Patronus Charm’ scribbled across the board in Professor Bones’ nearly illegible handwriting, her stomach dropped.

They had been studying the patronus charm on and off for the last couple of weeks. Last Thursday was the first time that they had a practical lesson on the spell, and Lily hadn’t even managed to produce a white whisp at the end of her wand.

You know who did manage a white whisp?

James Potter.

Actually, by the end of the lesson, he had produced more than a whisp, he had produced a large funnel of white light that almost became corporal before disappearing in a flash. Professor Bones had awarded him 10 points to Gryffindor and Lily had given him a tightlipped smile of congratulations.

She dropped down into her seat and pulled out her textbook, hoping that maybe she was going to give another lesson on how to transfer the happy feelings into the spell. It wasn’t exactly clear. It didn’t make sense that the spell could decide that one memory wasn’t good enough anyway. If something made you feel happy, then that should be enough.

But she knew that it was going to be another practical magic lesson.

She wasn’t the only one in class that hadn’t managed anything last time, but Lily wasn’t used to being one of the students that struggled with a spell. She had always been one of the students that got something right away. She read all of her material before coming to class and made sure that she had all the wand movements memorized so that she started all her lessons with a leg up.

All it had taken was one smarmy eleven-year-old to mutter something about how Lily couldn’t cast ‘lumos’ correctly because she was a muggleborn, and Lily had made sure that no one would be able to say anything like that about her again.

But this spell was hard.

Really hard.

Mary plopped down on the stool next to her and sighed. “Here we go again.”

“You did better than I did last time.” Lily pulled her wand out and twirled it through her fingers.

“Hardly.” Mary gave her a look. “Did you come up with a new memory to think of?”

“No.” Lily shook her head. “But maybe it’s not the memory, maybe I’m mucking up the movements.”

“You never muck up the movements.” Mary argued.

Lily knew that, but she also knew that the happiest she’d ever felt was when she’d walked through platform nine and three quarters and realized that she really was going to Hogwarts. That it was a real place, and she hadn’t dreamt it up.

“Evans, MacDonald,” Remus’s voice sounded from the desk behind them, and they both turned around to greet the prefect. “Morning.”

“Morning,” They both replied.

“We’re doing the patronus charm again.” Lily blew her hair out of her face and frowned at Remus.

He frowned back at her. “Do you think this is going to be the spell they have us do for our N.E.W.T. exam?”

“Probably.” Mary muttered. “Since I can’t get it. Marlene and I tried for hours the other night and I couldn’t manage it. All I can get are sad little whisps.”

More of their classmates shuffled in. Peter joined Remus at his table and Lily turned back around in her desk when James and Sirius sat down at the desk behind them.

She was pretty sure that James had started to wave at her, but she wasn’t going to turn back around to find out.

Professor Bones swept into the room and smiled at them all when she reached the front of the room. Her smile was warm, and her entire demeanor was soft and inviting, but Lily continued to frown. She really struggled with not being able to perform a type of magic. If no one in the class had gotten further than she did, that would be one thing, but there weren’t any students who had done worse than she did and that was hard to sit with.

“I know that a lot of us struggled with this spell last time we worked on it, but I did give you an entire week to practice on your own, or work up the courage to try again here in class.” Professor Bones clapped her hands together. “So, let’s just go for it, yes? I’ll walk around and give you pointers, but I’d really like to just give you all the time you need to practice. This spell is so important, and I’d really like for you to get comfortable with it.”

At least there were only two Slytherins in class with them. If she’d had to endure this lesson with Wilkes or Mulciber or Avery or Rosier or Sev- Snape, it would have been even more unpleasant. But most of the death eater wannabes had opted out of taking defense against the dark arts.

She’d much rather put up with the smarmy looks from the Ravenclaw who was consistently ranked third in their year, than the mutterings of any of those boys.

Professor Bones waved her wand and sent all of their desks and stools flying to the edge of the room and told them all to spread out in a large circle so they could observe each other. Lily chewed on her cheek as she and Mary made their way to the edge of the classroom.

“You look like someone spit in your tea.” James Potter somehow ended up on the other side of her and Lily pressed her lips together. “Alright, Evans?”

She huffed and gave him a small shrug. “I just can’t get this spell.”

He ran a hand through his hair and nodded. “It is a tricky one.”

That only upset her more since he’d managed to do the best of the bunch in last class. And if he’d practiced at all outside of class, she was sure he’d manage a corporal patronus during this lesson.

“Can I ask what your happy memory is?” James asked.

Lily looked over at him and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.

It wasn’t just because he’d done better than she had last class that she wasn’t thrilled to be talking to him just then.

James Potter had been made Head Boy this year, opposite her Head Girl. And even though she’d been expecting him to screw it up, take advantage of his position, or generally behave in a way that proved Dumbledore was made to give him the badge, he had been nothing but perfect at the job.

He showed up on time, and he docked points responsibly. He helped her fix problems between prefects, and he was patient with third years who felt like they were much older than they were. He stepped in when people were being too rowdy, he enforced the rules, he did his share of the paperwork and Lily never even had to remind him of the stuff they had to get done.

He’d shown himself to be worthy of the position, and on top of that, he was kind and funny and charming and helpful and he still managed to drive Lily mad with nothing more than a comment or a look.

She shouldn’t have been annoyed by his question, and she knew that she shouldn’t be annoyed by his question, but she was. Because she was annoyed with him, as a whole.

“I’ve tried a few different things.” She said with a shrug, not wanting to start a conversation.

“Like what?” He asked, and it felt like he was trying to start a conversation.

“I don’t know, like seeing the Hogwarts Express for the first time, or waking up on Christmas morning when I was seven, or the first time I did magic on purpose. Stuff like that.”

James nodded and pushed his glasses up his nose.

“More practicing and less chatting, please!” Professor Bones was looking in their direction, which made Lily clench her jaw in further annoyance. She hadn’t wanted to talk to James in the first place, and now he was getting her into trouble.

Or trouble adjacent anyway.

She raised her wand and tried to immerse herself in the feeling of hugging her mum and dad when she got home for Christmas Holiday her first year.

She carefully enunciated the spell and moved her wand in the exact right pattern, and yet…

Nothing.

Not a single thing came out of her wand.

She slumped her shoulders and turned toward James.

“What do you think about?”

He hadn’t yet managed a corporal Patronus, but it was only a matter of time and they both knew that.

James twirled his wand in his hand and shifted from one foot to the other. “It’s not a big memory.” His eyes almost glazed over, like he was transported back in time already. “I think about this one night in fourth year when me and the lads stayed up all night eating left over dinner and pumpkin pasties and our weight in candy. It was after exams, and we were all a little delirious. Nothing really happened, but it’s one of my favorite memories.”

Lily pressed her lips together. Staying up late with friends? That was his happiest memory?

She had been thinking about this entirely wrong.

“Dammit.” She let out a heavy breath and shook her head.

“What?”

She looked back at James and shook her head again. “No, not you. That memory sounds great, it’s just, Mary was right.”

“I usually am.” Mary spoke up from her other side. “What was I right about this time?”

“My memory isn’t good enough.”

“Oh,” Mary made a face. “I didn’t say that. I only knew you weren’t doing the other parts of the spell wrong.”

“That’s true,” James agreed. “You’re the most technically skilled in class.”

It was such an off the cuff compliment, said so casually, as though he complimented her all the time, that Lily felt like her brain was misfiring and she wasn’t sure how she was supposed to react.

And so she ended up just staring at him until he cleared his throat and turned toward the middle of the room.

He held up his wand and carefully cast the spell.

It wasn’t corporal, but Lily was fairly sure that she saw the snout of something come out the end before the white light turned into a funnel shape.

“Very good, Mr. Potter!” Professor Bones grinned at him

Lily chewed on the inside of her cheek and rolled her wand in between her hands.

What was the happiest she’d ever been?

It shouldn’t be a hard question. She had lots of happy memories.

And why shouldn’t the thought of Christmas or Hogwarts be happy enough for the spell?

She closed her eyes and tried to sift through her memories. She could really use an organized pensive right about now.

Her eyes snapped open as she remembered the time that her and Petunia had made a pillow fort in the living room and forced the poor cat to sleep in there with them all night. They had stayed up watching late night television and painting each other’s nails. That was before she’d met Severus and her and Tooney were still best friends.

It made her chest ache, but she remembered how happy she had been and how the two of them hadn’t been able to fall asleep because they hadn’t been able to stop giggling.

She held up her wand and tried to cast the spell again.

This time, white light shot out into the classroom.

It didn’t last long, and it didn’t take any kind of shape, but there was light!

She glanced around her to see if anyone had noticed that she hadn’t completely failed that time, but Mary was focusing on her own wand movements. James had noticed though and he gave her a small smile of encouragement.

Lily felt her cheeks heat up and she quickly looked away. Why was he standing next to her? He was always in the middle of his group of friends. But Remus, who she was actually friends with, was standing four people down from her and instead, James was next to her.

Class went on and she tried different memories, that focused less on the importance of the moment to her overall life, and more on the genuine feeling of pure happiness.

James tried the spell a few more times, getting more light and some shape, but nothing corporal. He spent most of the class helping his friends.

Mary was producing quite large shields of light by the end of class, and Lily was consistently producing shields as well. She knew now that she just had to find the right memory, the right feeling in her chest that wasn’t tainted with any other emotions.

There was only fifteen minutes left of class when Professor Bones stopped in front of James and nodded at him.

“Alright, Mr. Potter, let’s have another go, yes?”

Lily put her wand down and turned her head to look at him.

“Right,” James said, pushing his glasses up his nose as he took his stance, one leg slightly in front of the other, his feet about a shoulder’s width apart, his wand arm raised at the perfect height. He narrowed his brow in concentration and then spoke clearly, “Expecto Patronum.”

The entire class seemed to gasp in unison as a perfect rendering of a stag jumped from the tip of his wand and landed in front of James before it began prancing around the room.

A fully corporal patronus. He’d managed it.

Lily did her best to keep from feeling jealous or comparing her own accomplishments to his. She clapped along with the rest of the class and when he turned to look at her, his face entirely lit up at his triumph, she did her best to give him an honest smile in return. It was an incredible feat of magic, after all.

“Brilliant, Mr. Potter!” Professor Bones clapped her hands as well. “Twenty points to Gryffindor! Absolutely brilliant!” The professor looked around the room, her eyes briefly dancing over Lily before she walked away.

Lily could tell that she was purposefully choosing not to ask Lily to attempt the spell immediately after James had managed to execute it perfectly, and that stung a little, but not more than Lily found it relieved her.

“A stag,” Sirius’s voice cut through the din of the classroom. “Who would have thought?” He laughed, and Lily could tell he was making some kind of joke, but it was lost to her.

“Shut up, Sirius,” James’s hand jumped to his hair, and he looked over at Lily. Almost expectantly. “I didn’t think I was gonna get it today.”

Lily pressed her lips together and nodded. “It’s very impressive, Potter. Were you still thinking about the memory of you and your friends?”

He froze for half a second, long enough for her to notice, but then shrugged. “Nah, I picked a different one.”

“I wish the spell wasn’t quite so temperamental.” She said, not feeling as though it was her place to ask what his happiest memory had been if he wasn’t going to offer it up.

The clock was still counting down to the end of class and Lily really wanted to try again before they had to head to their next class.

She’d tried other memories with Petunia, she’d tried memories of Sev, she’d tried memories of her and Mary, but nothing had given her a corporal patronus.

And then a memory came to her.

A group of her housemates that had stayed for Spring Hols last year. It was early April, the snow had melted, there was still a chill in the air, but the sun usually chased it away by midafternoon.

She had stayed, so had Mary, James, Remus, Sirius, and a few others in the years above and below her. In total there had been about a dozen students.

One afternoon, they had all wandered out to the courtyard in front of the school and decided to play gob stones. A few students from other houses came to join them and they got a tournament going before too long.  

Lily had sat there in the middle of the most magical place she’d ever been, surrounded by her peers, and she had never felt more like she belonged where she was. When she was home, she felt like she had to hide the magical parts of herself, and when she was in school, most of the time she felt she had to hide the muggle parts of herself, but for that afternoon, her knowledge of the muggle game of marbles helped her team score extra points and everyone wanted pointers and even though her team didn’t end up winning the tournament, the winning team had adopted the strategy that her father had taught her when she was a kid and she just felt like she wasn’t meant to be anywhere else.

Lily had smelled like week old garbage at the end of the afternoon thanks to the gob stones, so she didn’t think it would work as her happiest memory, but nothing else had made her feel as content as that day had, horrible smell or no.

She took her stance and held up her arm.

Professor Bones walked to the front of the room and held up her hands, about to draw the classes attention for a quick recap before the end of class.

“Expecto Patronum!” Lily stated clearly, rushing to make sure she spoke before the professor.

The light she’d been achieving shot forward, but this time it started to take shape. Lily held onto the happy memory, willing herself not to lose concentration as she watched the light bend and form.

“Oh, Miss Evans, very good!” Professor Bones cheered, clapping her hands together as a white, slightly wispy creature, stood in the center of the classroom.

“No bloody way,” Mary lightly tapped her shoulder. “And just when I was starting to think that I might get this one before you.”

Lily could hear their praise, but they sounded almost as though they were underwater. She looked at the animal that still stood in the middle of the room and watched as it turned it’s head this way and that, as though it were capable of inspecting it’s surroundings.

It was a doe.

She was graceful and elegant as she turned around and started walking back toward Lily. She had her head tilted curiously, her white eyes wide.

She was the exact match to the stag that James had produced earlier.

And James was standing right next to her. What if her patronus wasn’t walking back toward her? What if she was walking toward-

A rush of nerves had Lily dropping her wand back to her side and the doe disappearing in a flash. She felt her cheeks splotch red as well and refused to look in James’ direction.

“Excellent work,” Professor Bones was in front of her now, a wide smile on her face. “I’ll award Gryffindor another ten points.”

And then she was addressing the entire class and Lily wasn’t listening to a single word she was saying.

They’d been studying this spell for a while now and Lily had read as much as she could about the theory of the spell, trying to understand it so well that it couldn’t possibly give her any trouble in class.

She knew what it meant to have a patronus that was a match for someone else’s patronus.

Mary nudged her with an elbow as Professor Bones waved her wand, the desks and chairs slowly making their way back to where they had been. “So what memory finally got it for you?” Mary asked, and Lily couldn’t figure out what she meant for a minute. But then she heard Sirius laugh.

“Yeah, I wonder what she was thinking abo- oof.”

Lily resolutely kept her eyes on her bag as she collected all her things.

Determined to ignore everyone but Mary, she looked up at her friends confused face. “Would you believe me if I said gob stones?”

Mary had been looking over Lily’s shoulder, but she looked back at Lily with her brow raised. “Like the tournament from last year?” She laughed. “How did that beat out-“

“I don’t know.” Lily shrugged, her mind not focused on their conversation in the slightest. “Come on. We’ve got to get to Transfiguration before Beth and Nicco take our seats.” She hitched her bag up her shoulder and linked her arm through Mary’s.

They were almost to class, and blessedly far from any of the Marauders, when Mary asked. “So are you acting weird because your patronus-“

“Yep.” She interrupted Mary again.

“And that means that-“

“Don’t say it.”

“James Potter is-“

“Mary.” She warned.

“He’s your soulmate.”

“Mary!” Lily pulled her arm away from her friend.

Mary pinched her side and wiggled her eyebrows. “Oh come off it, Evans. You can’t keep pretending that you don’t fancy him. Not to me.”

“I don’t.” She muttered. “Now please stop before someone hears you.”

Mary relented but rolled her eyes. “You’re allowed to have feelings for a boy, Lily. Literally no one would fault you for it. Especially if that boy is, James bloody Potter.”

[theretirementstory]

28/07/2024. Bonjour à tous, am I glad to see the weekend, when I can relax! I was at Paris on Monday, Troyes to see the cardiologist on Wednesday and for a transfusion at Troyes on Thursday afternoon. There were two pieces of good news, no lymphoma in my bone marrow 😁 and I don’t have to see the cardiologist again until next year 😁😁. Everything else is still the same but the doctor did say it was too early for the new treatment to be effective.

This coming week it’s another three days of hospital visits, two of which are to Paris! Not only will I have transfusions on Monday but I will also be having my third round of treatment. Hope they give me a bed as I think I will be snoozing a lot of the time.

A young driver took me for my appointment on Wednesday (he’s about 25 years old), he always plays great tracks in the taxi, Supertramp, that sort of thing. Well he only played this song: “Come And Get Your Love” by Redbone. As I quietly sang along I wondered what year it was released, thinking to myself not that far back really. It was released in 1974, that nearly blew my socks off! Have a listen to it, it’s stuck in my head now. My second song for this music spot was one I could hear playing in the background of the Olympic Opening Ceremony, it was from the Europop section and although the commentator was talking all over it, I was still transported to holidays and particularly discos. The year this song was released was 1980, it’s “Spacer” by Sheila & B Devotion.

I asked Monique to do the bulk of my shopping and Anie bought my fruit and vegetables. Anie has also been and collected my prescription. It’s great to have such good friends and I was happy to have lots of tasty food. I hope my body appreciated the fish/chicken/vegetables and fruit I have been feeding it 😂.

Oh my goodness I took the plunge and messaged my cleaning lady to see if she had a couple of hours free. Horror of horrors she didn’t and also said that she was having health problems of her own. Now what am I going to do? Accept the offer from Monique or see if my friends know any other person. I have already mentioned it to Anie.

I must just rectify an omission from last weeks blog, “The Trainee Solicitor” sat an exam at the course he did at the University. He said at the time he hoped he had done enough to pass it and he obviously had! Great result passing the exam, just checks to be made and then he will be a fully fledged Solicitor. I remember my godmother telling me it was years of hard work to attain that position and he has put in the time and effort. Well done that man!

“The Recovery Coordinator” started her working week with a severe migraine! Not a good way to start, then she had a couple of nightmarish days at work, that doesn’t help either. After spending some time with my grandchildren and their Daddy this weekend she was going to catch up with the Olympics. It’s the F1 from Spa-Francorchamps today, a circuit I would have liked to visit. Don’t think it’s on free to view tv so for me it will be the Olympics (once I have prepared myself for tomorrow).

“The Photographer” has had his children for one week of their summer holidays. My granddaughter attended a football day, she gave it a thumbs up but when asked if she wanted to go the following day she said no. They attended a local football match (grandson included) both wore ear defenders as the last time she went to a match she wanted to leave as it was too noisy. Fingers crossed they are having four nights in a camper van this week, it is greatly anticipated by the three of them and I think it will be a memorable experience.

“The Traînée Solicitor” was pleased to hear my health news as it means that he can come out and visit me. I did say that he has to be careful hugging me as I am only fragile now, hopefully he will remember that 😉. I am really excited about seeing him too, it’s been over a year. I had hoped to be visiting him but as we all know, life has a habit of throwing a curved ball occasionally.

The photographs this week are of a champagne village which has at its heart an amusement park, Nigloland.

My garden is very neglected but I am unable to get out there and sort it out. Looking back at photos of previous years it looked so lovely and I am hoping that it will again.

The car has only been moved out of the garage once in the last goodness knows how many months. I would like to bring it out today but as it is more than two days since my last transfusion I had better leave it until I get back from Paris on Tuesday.

I have finished crocheting the blanket, I think it will do for a new baby and as a pram blanket (do people still buy prams?)

I am having a clear out of bedding, and clothes that no longer fit me. I think I will let go of some jumpers and t shirts too. I bought a few new clothes last year but they too are too big for me now. I really need some new shoes but will have to wait for those I think.

As it is a busy day for me, I think I had better make a start!

Have a good week until next week 😁.

[blysse-and-blunder]

In lieu of a making a comeback

11:45pm Sunday, June 18, 2023

Went through my drafts folder today, scrolling quickly past all the posts I’ve saved for when I’ve finally finished succession and found that the last time I drafted a commonplace book post was back in early May? I may post that one later—it’s a bit of a time capsule now, and isn’t even fully finished (hence why I saved it rather than posting). but rather than wait for perfection—my lesson of the year it seems—I’ll dash off a short one here. for my own entertainment, which of course is the point.

[no read more on mobile; scroll or press J to skip]

Reading just started victoria goddard’s bee sting cake, the second book in the greenwing & dart series. jemis’ narrative voice sounds a little too much like fitzroy’s — exacerbating my prejudice against first-person narration where the pov character just kinda sounds like the author’s mouthpiece—but seeing more of ragnor bella, this area of the twelve kingdoms, these references to the Interim and the Last Emperor, remains delightful. Also about 80% of the way through ursula k. le guin’s a wizard of earthsea for the very first time, which has been a slow because I’m absolutely savoring it. one of those books that feels like it’s in conversation with Tolkien but goes about ‘let’s make magic literary’ in a totally different way.

watching the aforementioned succession. @hematiterings and I were doing a rewatch (for me; her first time) and we have now gotten up to season 4 episode 3, You Know the One, which means that there’s only one more episode before I’m in new territory. it’s been a really rewarding rewatch, even as I’ve been doing laptop work the whole time—I’m understanding characters’ relationships and the stakes of different decisions and events so much better than I did the first time.

listening for some reason this week and last I have not been able to get enough of Hildegard von Blingen’s bardcore covers. Specifically the cover of taylor swift’s willow, which is not a song I knew, cared about, or really even noticed before now? But it the bardcore cover elevates it so well? hildegard’s voice is so lovely? one of those sopranos I usually don’t quite believe are real—just a pleasure to listen to. bad romance and holding out for a hero have been on repeat as well, and pumped up kicks (buskin boots!) is so much more interesting than the original, but willow has been the one I actively searched by name.

playing d+d campaign one tonight for the first time since FEBRUARY. it was good! we laughed! R tried to seduce a jaguar! we might be starting a schism in a fantasy meso-american religion or possibly playing the ball game to avoid that! we won’t be able to play again until late July, early august! The real boss fight is—has always been—scheduling.

making look at this dining room chair I glued back together.

No after pictures yet but it was clamped for a few days and has now been back in use with no ill effects since…gosh, last weekend? so we’ll count that as a win.

working on between finishing my most recent slog of grading (32 review assignments, which I spent waaaaaay too long on out of an anxiety of needin to help them revise for their final portfolios) and the next round of grading (final exams for 385 are due…thursday, possibly? and portfolios Friday, though I expect I get many either late or with extension requests, my fault entirely), I think I have to write at least one job app for June 30 and. maybe try to slap some new stuff into ch 2. or conference paper? hm.

[3ternalxspirit]

My first week as a new BCBA

Where do I start! The journey to this was not an easy one. It was long and there were moments I felt like giving up and didn't think I would be here. BUT I'm here, I did it. I passed my BCBA exam last December. I am a multiple time test taker, a lot of it was because of my anxiety, but now I'm done, and I don't have to worry about it anymore.

How did my first week as a BCBA go? Well, it went way better than I thought it would. I deal with anxiety and especially to new things even fi I know what I'm doing new experience and etc. make me so nervous and I realize it because I want everything to go perfect.

During the first week, I had three initial assessments, One on Thursday and two on Friday. The first one I was really nervous but as it went on it was good. The second assessment went to awesome. but the last one I felt like I was in my element. One of the things i did to keep myself going was just telling myself I am bigger than my thoughts and that everything will be okay. The parents were nice and everything. and the kids were awesome.

I do have another potential client, but they had to cancel last minute so I don't know when I'll be doing their Initial assessment and its through telehealth.

I love my new job. They are big on work and life balance. Most of my work is from home and I just go into the homes and schools/daycares for supervision and etc. I am also a new mom to a beautiful 1 year old boy, and I get to spend way more time with him, and I think he is enjoying it. I love working but I also love being with my son. So, I wanted a job that paid good, I get to work less hours and be with my son more. I only have to do 20 billable hours to get my salary, anything lower, I just an hourly rate and I can also add more hours if I want too.