#the horses and dinosaurs part is so embarrassing to me

[sweetronancer]

PERCY!!!! what're your favorite animals? :33

theyre all my favorite!!! /hsrs

i really like river otters, i think theyre really silly and stuff!! i also like polar bears too because theyre literally me. i also like alligators because theyre absolute like giants and theyre so cool and i dont know if like every dinosaur would count as an animal right now so!!

i also think sharks are really cool, also horses.. and eagles. really like i said all animals are my favorite?? theyre all super cool and stuff imo😭😭

oh but big cats are >>>!!! i love tigers and lions and if we're including extinct big cats, saber tooth tigers are really intriguing to me!!

[stardustcrusader]

So I stopped at a Jack-in-the-Box on the way here and the girl said 'Hiya! Are you having an awesome day?' not 'How are you doing today?' but 'Are you having an awesome day?' Which is pretty shitty because it puts the onus on me to disagree with her, like if I'm not having an 'awesome day,' I'm suddenly the negative one. Usually when people ask me how I'm doing the real answer is I'm doing shitty, but I can't say I'm doing shitty because I don't even have a good reason to be doing shitty. So if I say 'I'm doing shitty,' and they're like 'Why? What's wrong?' and I have to be like 'I dunno, all of it.' So instead when people ask me how I'm doing I say 'I am doing so great.' But when this girl in the Jack-in-the-Box asked me if I was having an awesome day, I thought 'Well today, I'm actually allowed to feel shitty. Today I have a good reason.' So I said 'My mom died.' and she immediately burst into tears. So I have to comfort her, which is annoying, and meanwhile there's a line of people forming behind me who are all giving me these really judgey looks because I made the Jack-in-the-Box girl cry. And she's bawling and she's saying 'I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!' and I'm like, 'It's fine, it's fine. I mean it's not fine, but you know it's fine. And I would like to order a Double Jack Meal and I've kinda got somewhere to be, so less with the crying and more with the frying, huh?' Then the girl apologizes again, and offers me a free churro with my meal. And as I'm leaving I think 'I just got a free churro because my mom died. No one ever tells you that when your mom dies, you get a free churro.' [Throat clearing] Anyways, that's not part of the uh, okay, here we go. Let's do this. Here I am, Bojack Horseman, doing a eulogy, let's go." [...] "Beatrice Horseman, who was she? What was her deal? Well, she was a horse. She was born in 1938. She died in 2018. One time she went to a parade. And one time she smoked an entire cigarette in one long inhale; I watched her do it. Truly a remarkable woman. Lived a full life, that lady, all the way to the end--which is uh, now, I guess. It really makes you think though, huh? Life, right? It goes by, stuff happens, then you die. Okay, well that's my time, tip your waitress. Nah, I'm just kidding around. There's no waitress, but that's all I have to say about my mother. No point in beating a dead horse, right? So [inhales] Mom, you got any ideas? Anything? Mom? No? Nothing to contribute? Knock once if you're proud of me. Can I just say how amazing it is to be in a room with my mother and I can just talk and talk without her asking me to shut up and make her a drink? Hey mom, knock once if you think I should shut up. No, you sure? I mean I don't wanna embarrass you by making this eulogy into a me-logy. So, seriously if you want me to sit down and let someone else have a turn, knock once and I will not be offended. No? Your funeral. Sorry about the closed-casket by the way. She wanted an open-casket but, uh she's dead now, so who cares what she wanted. No, that sounds bad. [Stuttering] I'm sorry, but I-I think if she could've seen what she looked like dead she would've agreed it's better this way. I mean she looked like this. [Agonized expression] Kinda like a pissed off toy dinosaur. Coroner couldn't get her eyes closed so now her face is forever frozen in a mask of tremendous horror and anguish; or as my mom called it: Tuesday. Tuesday. My mom called it Tuesday. Hey mom, what'd you think of that joke? You like that? You never did care for my comedy. [Clears throat] Here's a story. When I was a teenager, I performed a comedy routine for my high school talent show. There was this, uh cool jacket I wanted to wear because I thought it made me look like Albert Brooks. For months I saved up for this jacket and when I finally had enough I went to the store and it was gone. They'd just sold it to someone else. So I went home and I told my mother and she said 'Let that be a lesson: that's the good that comes from wanting things.' She was really good at dispensing life lessons that always seemed to circle back to everything being my fault. But then, on the day of the talent show, my mother had a surprise for me. She had bought me the jacket... and even though she didn't know how to say it, I knew that she loved me. Now that's a good story about my mother--it's not true. But it's a good story, right? I stole it from an episode of Maude I saw when I was a kid where she talks about her father. I remember when I saw it thinking 'That's the kind of story I wanna tell about my parents when they die.' But I don't have any stories like that. All I know about being good I learned from TV. And in TV flawed characters are always showing they care with these surprising grand gestures; and I think a part of me still believes that's what love is. But in real life, the big gesture isn't enough. You need to be consistent. You need to be dependably good. You can't just screw everything up and take a boat out into the ocean to save your best friend or solve a mystery and fly to Kansas. You need to do it everyday, which is so hard. When you're a kid, you convince yourself that maybe the grand gesture could be enough. That even though your parents aren't what you need them to be over and over and over again, at any moment they might surprise you with something... wonderful. I kept waiting for that. The proof that even though my mother was a hard woman, deep down, she loved me, and cared about me, and wanted me to know that I made her life a little bit brighter. Even now, I find myself waiting. Hey Mom. Knock once if you love me and care about me and want me to know I made your life a little bit brighter. [Silence] My mother did not go gentle into that good night. She went clawing and fighting and thrashing--hence the face. If you'd seen her, I swear to god, the only thing you'd be thinking about right now is that I am nailing this impression. I was in the hospital in those last moments and they were truly horrifying. Full of nonsensical screams and cries, but there was this one moment, this one instant of strange... calm. Where she looked in my direction and said 'I See You.' That's the last thing she said to me. 'I See You.' Not a statement of judgement or disappointment. Just acceptance and the simple recognition of another person in a room. 'Hello there. You are a person, and I see you.' Lemme tell ya, it's a weird thing to feel at fifty four years old that for the first time in your life your mother sees you. It's an odd realization that that's the thing you've been missing; the only thing you've been wanting all along. To be seen. And it doesn't feel like a relief to finally be seen, it feels mean. Like 'Oh, turns out that you knew what I wanted and you waited until the very last moment to give it to me.' I was prepared for more cruelty. I was sure that she would get in one final zinger about how I let her down and about how I was fat and stupid and too tall to be an effective Lindy Hopper. About how I was needy, and a burden, and an embarrassment. All that I was ready for. I was not ready for 'I See You.' Only my mother would be lousy enough to swipe me with a moment of connection on her way out. But maybe I'm giving her too much credit. Maybe it wasn't about connection. Maybe it was a... maybe it was an 'I See You' like 'I SEE YOU' like 'You might have the rest of the world fooled, but I know exactly who you are.' That's more my mom's speed. Or... maybe she just literally meant 'I see you... You are an object that has entered my field of vision.' She was pretty out of it at the end there, so maybe it's dumb to try to attribute it to anything. Back in the 90's I was in a very famous TV show called Horsin' Around. Please hold your applause. And I remember one time a fan asked me 'Hey, um, you know that episode where the horse has to give Ethan a pep talk after Ethan finds out his crush only asked him to the dance because her friends were having a dorkiest date contest? In all the shots of the horse, you can see a paper coffee cup on the kitchen counter, but in the shots of Ethan, the coffee cup's missing. Was that because the show was making a statement about the fluctuant subjectivity of memory and how even two people can experience the same moment in entirely different ways?' And I didn't have the heart to like, 'No man, some crew guy just left their coffee cup in the shot.' So instead I was like 'Yeah.' And maybe this is the coffee cup. Maybe we're dumb to try to pin significance onto every little thing. Maybe when someone says 'I See You.' it just means 'I see you.' Then again, maybe she wasn't even talking to me, because if I'm being honest, she wasn't really looking at me. She was looking just past me. There was nobody else in the room, so I wanted to think she was talking to me. But honestly she was so far gone at that point who knows what she was seeing. Who're talking to, ma? Not saying, huh? Staying mum." [...] "Maybe she saw my dad. My dad died about ten years ago from injuries he sustained during a duel. When your father dies you ask yourself a lot of questions. Questions like ‘Wait did you say he died in a duel?’ and ‘Who dies in a duel?’ The whole thing was so stupid. Dad spent his entire life writing this book, but he couldn’t get any stores to carry it or any newspapers to review it. Finally I guess this one newspaper thought he was pretty hilarious because they ran a review and tore him to shreds. So my father, ever the proud Mary, decided that he would not stand for this besmirchment of his honor and he claimed the critic didn’t understand what it meant to be a man. So he demanded satisfaction in the form of pistols at dawn. He wrote the paper this letter saying ‘anyone who didn’t like his book he would challenge to a duel.’ Anyone in the world. He’d even pay for airfare to San Francisco and a night at a hotel. Well eventually this found its way to some kook in Montana who was about as batshit as he was and he took him up on the offer. They met at Golden Gate Park and agreed ten paces, then shoot. But in the middle of the ten paces, Dad turned to ask the guy if he’d read the book and what he’d thought, but not looking where he was going, he tripped over an exposed root, fell, and bashed his head on a rock. I wish I’d known to go to Jack-in-the-Box then. Maybe could’ve gotten a free churro. Would’ve been nice to have something to show for being the son of Butterscotch Horseman. My darling mother gave the eulogy. Mind you, during my entire life I had never heard her say a kind word to or about my father, but at his funeral she said ‘My husband is dead and everything is worse now.’ ‘My husband is dead and everything is worse now.’ I dunno why she said that. Maybe she felt like that’s the kinda thing you’re supposed to say at a funeral. Maybe she hoped that one day someone would say that about her. My mother is dead and everything is worse now. Or maybe she knew that he had frittered away all her inheritance and replaced it with crippling debt. Which is a pretty shitty thing to leave your widow with. Bad news you lost a husband, but don’t worry, you also lost the house. Maybe Mom knew she’d have to sell her fancy jewelry and move into a home. Maybe that’s what she meant by ‘everything is worse now.’ Is that what you meant, Mom? I gotta say I’m really carrying this double-act. At least with Penn and Teller, at least the quiet one does card tricks.” [...] “What’s the difference between a first-year lit major and my mother, Beatrice Horseman? One’s well-read and the other’s a huge bitch. Yeah might’ve gone a little too far with that one. That might’ve been too ‘huge bitch’ for the room. I’m sorry, Mother, you’re not a huge bitch. You were a huge bitch... and now you’re dead. You know the first time I ever performed in front of an audience was actually with my mom. She used to put on these shows with her supper club in the living room and she used to make [inhales] she used to make me sing the lollipop song... And those parties, they were really something. There were skits and magic acts and ethically insensitive vaudeville routines and the big finale was always a dance my mother did. She had this beautiful dress that she only brought out for these parties and she did this incredible number and it was so beautiful... and sad. Dad hated those parties. He locked himself in the study and would bang on the walls for us to keep it down, but he always came out to see Mom dance. He'd linger in the doorway, scotch in hand, and watch in awe as this cynical, despicable woman he married took flight. And as a child who was completely terrified of both my parents, I was always aware that this moment of grace--it meant something. We understood each other in a way; me and my mom and my dad. As screwed up as we all were, we did understand each other. My mother, she knew what it's like to feel your entire life like you're drowning with the exception of these moments. These very rare, brief instances in which you suddenly remember you can swim. But then again, mostly not. Mostly you're drowning. She understood that, too. And she recognized that I understood it, too... and Dad. All three of us were drowning and we didn't know how to save each other, but there was an understanding that we were all drowning together. And I would like to think that that's what she meant when we were in the hospital and she said 'I See You.' You know the weird thing about both your parents being dead is that it means you're next. I mean, it's not like there's a waitlist for dying; any one of us could be run over by a Snapchatting teen at any moment and you'd think that knowing that would make us more adventurous and kind and forgiving, but it makes us small and stupid and petty. I actually had a near-death experience recently. A stunt went bad and I fell off a building. I'm an actor. I do my own stunts. I work on this show Philbert. I'm Philbert. It hasn't come out yet, but it's getting heavy buzz. And, oh, speaking of buzz I'm supposed to take two of these every morning, but my mornings are so screwed up because of the shooting schedule I don't even know what mornings mean anymore. There's a joke in there about a guy who's been to so many funerals he doesn't even know what mourning means anymore. Let you guys figure out what that one means for yourselves. Anyway, wanna know what I thought when I was falling off that building and I went into panic mode? The last thing that my stupid brain could come up with before I died: 'Won't they be sorry.' Cool thought, brain." [...] "I don't even know what 'they' I wanted to be sorry. My mom, even before she died, could barely remember who I was, and of course, my dad's dead. The last conversation I ever had with him was about his novel. He was so certain this book was his legacy. Maybe he thought it would vindicate him from all the shitty things he ever did in his stupid worthless life. Maybe he didn't. Dunno. Never read it--'cause why would I give him that? I used to be on this TV show Horsin' Around. Seriously, though, hold your applause. Well held. It was written by my friend, Herb Kazzaz, who's also dead now, and this little girl named Sarah Lynn, and it was about these orphans. And early on, the network had a note: 'Maybe don't mention they're orphans so much, since audiences tend to find orphans sad and not relatable.' But I never thought the orphans were sad, I always thought they were lucky because they could imagine their parents to be anything they wanted. They had something to long for. Anyway, we did this one season finale when Olivia's birth mother comes to town and she was a junkie, but she's gotten herself cleaned up and she wants to be in Olivia's life again. And of course, she's just like a perfect, grown-up version of Olivia and they go to the mall and get her ears pierced like she's always wanted and--sorry, spoiler alert for the season six finale of Horsin' Around if you're still... working your way through it. Anyway, the horse tries to warn her 'Be careful, moms have a way of letting you down.' But Olivia just thinks the horse is jealous. When the mom says she's moving the California, Olivia decides to go with her--and the network really juiced the cliffhanger. Is Olivia gone for good? But, of course, it's a TV show; she's not gone for good. But, of course, it's a TV show; Olivia's mother had a relapse and had to go back to rehab so Olivia had to hitchhike all the way home--getting rides from Mr. T, Malf, and the cast of Snop. Because of course that's what happened. What're you gonna do? Not have Olivia on the show? You can't have happy endings in sitcoms--not really--because then the show would be over and above all else the show has to keep going. There's always more show. And you can call Horsin' Around dumb or bad or unrealistic but there's nothing more realistic than that. You never get a happy ending because there's always more show. I guess until there isn't. My mom would hate it if she knew I spent so much time at her funeral talking about my old TV show, or maybe she'd think it was funny that her idiot son couldn't even do this right; who knows. She left no instructions for what she wanted me to say. All I know is that she wanted an open casket and that her idiot son couldn't even do that right. I'm not gonna stand up here and pretend I ever knew how to please that woman, even though so much of my life has been wasted in vain attempts to figure it out. But I keep going back to that moment in the ICU when she looked at me. 'I See You.' 'I. C. U.' Jesus Christ. We were in the intensive care unit. She was just reading a sign. My mom died and all I got was this free churro. You know the shittiest thing about all this? Is when that stranger behind the counter that gave me that free churro is that small act of kindness showed more compassion than my mother gave me in her entire god damn life. Like, how hard is it to do something nice for a person? This woman at the Jack-in-the-Box didn't even know me. I'm your son. All I had was you. [Inhales.] I had this friend and right around when I first met her, her dad died and I actually went with her to the funeral. And months later she told me she didn't understand why she was still upset because she never even liked her father. It made sense to me because I went through the same thing when my dad died and I'm going through the same thing now. You know what it's like? It's like that show Becker. You know, with Ted Dansen? I watched the entire run of that show hoping it would get better and it never did. It had all the right pieces but it just--it couldn't put them together and when it got cancelled I was really bummed out. Not because I liked the show but because I knew it could be so much better and now it never would be and that's... what losing a parent is like. It's like Becker. Suddenly you realize you'll never have the good relationship you wanted and as long as they were alive, even though you'd never admit it, part of you--the stupidest goddamn part of you--was still holding onto that chance. And you didn't even realize it until that chance went away. My mother is dead and everything is worse now. Because now I know I'll never have a mother who looks at me from across the room and says 'Bojack Horseman, I see you.' But I guess it's good to know. Good to know that there is nobody looking out for me. That there never was. That there never will be. So, it's good to know that I'm the only one I can depend on. And I know that now and it's good. It's good that I know that. So. It's good my mother's dead. Well, no point in beating a dead horse. Beatrice Horseman was born in 1938 and died in 2018 and I have no idea what she wanted... Unless she just wanted what we all want. To be seen.

-- Bojack Horseman, Season 5 Episode 6 "Free Churro"

[writtenjewels]

Two Confessions

(Another prompt courtesy of @diseased-dinosaurs Thanks for all the plot bunnies!)

Nick and Jason always played a game of HORSE after work was over. It gave them a chance to shoot the shit. It was Jason's turn and he was dribbling the ball, moving around the court for the best shot.

“Nicky, I gotta tell ya somethin',” he began. He aimed the ball and got it through the hoop. Nick retrieved the ball and took his position. “You know Salim?”

“Yeah, I know him.” Nick was wondering where this conversation was going. Salim had just been brought in as a translator. He seemed like a nice enough guy. Nick made the shot too and Jason grabbed the ball for his turn. “What about him?” Nick prompted.

“Well, he's... he's funny, you know? He told me this dumb joke the other day. And smart, too. The man knows a lot of shit.” Nick nodded along, still not following where Jason was going with this. “He's got this really great smile,” Jason added. The ball bounced off the rim and he cursed.

“So... you needed to tell me that Salim's a nice guy? I already knew that, man.” Nick chose a new position and made a shot. It swished just under the net.

“Yeah, he's a nice guy.” Jason dribbled again. “Real nice. Got this calm steadiness to him. Patient, too, and makes you feel like he cares what you gotta say. Even if it's dumb.”

“Okay....?”

“I like him,” Jason confessed. He made his next shot, turning to face his friend. “I like him a lot, Nick.” It took him a minute for it to click in his mind. He knew Jason was gay but his friend never confided in him about a crush before.

“Shit, man,” Nick breathed out. “What are you going to do?”

“Fuckin' nothin'. And neither are you,” Jason added with a threatening finger. “Don't you breathe a word of this, Nick.” Nick held up his hands in a placating gesture. “Just had to get that off my chest.”

Nick said nothing, and eventually their conversation turned to other topics.

– – –

Nick needed Salim with him for his next assignment. Salim was ready, greeting him with a nod. The Iraqi's welcoming smile dropped a little.

“Where's Jason?”

“He's with Merwin and Joey on another assignment. It's just you and me today.”

“He's not sick or hurt. That's good.” Salim fidgeted with his sleeve cuff. “He was telling me a story about a killer rabbit. I wanted to hear the end of it.”

“Killer rabbit...?” Nick repeated in confusion. He let out a snort when it came to him. “Man, he got that off Monty Python.” Salim gave him a blank stare. “Monty Python and the Holy Grail,” Nick elaborated. “Jason loves that movie. There's this part with a rabbit, and--”

“Don't tell me,” Salim interrupted. “I want to hear it from Jason.” He was quiet for a moment, then asked: “So it's a movie Jason likes? Do you think he would like to watch it with me?”

“Probably,” Nick nodded. He thought of his friend's confession the other day. “He'd definitely like to watch it with you.” Salim seemed very pleased to hear that. A suspicion was growing in Nick's mind. “So you're interested in the stuff Jason likes?”

“He's a very passionate person,” Salim responded. Which was the most polite way to describe Jason Nick had ever heard. “I like seeing him smile. He glows.” It almost looked like Salim was glowing a little himself as he thought of Jason. “He's so much smarter than people think. Very intuitive. And brave, and strong, and loyal.”

“He's a good man,” Nick agreed.

“You are his best friend,” Salim went on. “Is he... does he...?”

“He's single,” Nick assured him. Salim looked embarrassed and dropped his gaze.

“Please don't say anything to him about this.” Nick made an X over his heart. “I like him very much,” Salim confessed, “but I would hate to ruin our friendship.”

“Friends can still watch movies together,” Nick hinted. Salim smiled shyly and bobbed his head in agreement. Monty Python was hardly a romantic movie, but the two men were already into each other. Maybe being alone in a dark room would be enough to spark something.

If so, they would both owe Nick one.

[becca-e-barnes]

SWEET BECCA I NEED MORE FLUFF WITH PS!BUCKY PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

I CAN PROVIDE THAT!! I started writing something else here but I ended up deleting it because I'd like to talk about their pillow talk a lil bit (cut bc it got a bit long)

❤️ PS!Bucky Masterlist Here!! ❤️

I'm thinking of this being after the other fluffy piece but before you actually admit that you have feelings for each other.

Because I think after the first night that he sleeps over, everything just gets a little softer for a bit? He's not as scared or embarrassed to treat your body with the reverence it deserves. He always found the rougher sex easier to hide his feelings but now, he wants nothing more than slow, gentle, passionate sex. His hands don't leave an inch of your skin untouched, you both lay on your sides and make out, it's passionate and sloppy and so damn perfect that the clenching feeling in his chest makes him slightly overwhelmed because it's what he's been dreaming of but has been too scared to give you.

But the pillow talk afterwards was always one of his favourite parts of being with you. The sex was always mind-blowing but the pillow talk always reminded him that the connection you shared was so real. It helped to ground him and remind him that you want him for more than his body because you made the effort to get to know him. He knows your favourite colour and your favourite place to go for takeaway. You know about his family and how his eldest brother is getting married in the Autumn. You know what animal he'd turn into if he had the chance and he knows about your happiest memories.

Those conversations were almost always so intimate and personal but after such gentle love making, the topics tend to be even more meaningful. So you're lying there and his hand is just running up and down your side while you bask in his affection. You're gently trailing your fingers over the little dusting of his chest hair and he couldn't tear his eyes off your face if he tried. He's memorised every smile line, every little wrinkle and blemish on your face and there's not a single thing he would change about you for the world.

The bedroom is quiet, the weight of the duvet and Bucky's warm body lulling you into a comfortable silence, using your mouth instead to press tiny kisses to the expanse of his chest.

"What's you biggest fear?" He whispers softly, watching as your eyes shift to gaze into his and he melts at how the corners of your lips tug into a little smile.

"Well, it's a toss up." You begin, stroking your thumb gently over his cheekbone. "Can't decide between zombies and dinosaurs. So you have to promise me that if the dinosaurs ever come back as zombies, you'll protect me." It's not what he was expecting by any means but it explains why you refused to watch Jurassic Park with him.

"You're such an idiot." he laughs lovingly, kissing the tip of your nose while you pout at his insult.

"Why, what's your biggest fear? And if you don't say spiders, I'll know you're lying, I heard you screaming at one in the bathroom the other morning." You tease and now it's his turn to be offended.

"That thing wasn't a spider! It was a horse with eight fucking legs, I've never seen anything so big." You can't help but laugh at how over dramatic he's being because you did see it and it was tiny

But he takes a second and gives it some thought, looking away for a second before taking your hand from his cheek and holding it in both of his, giving it a gentle kiss.

"I guess I'm scared of things changing? I love my job and I love what I do but it's such a shallow industry. I won't still be doing this in 10 or 20 years time, no one will want to watch. So where does that leave me? And right now I have company. I have someone I can share things with and someone I can talk to about the stupidest shit and I'm totally myself around them but what happens if that changes and they move on? I'll be stuck thinking of them for the rest of my life." He doesn't say it outright but he doesn't need to. You've never known him to be insecure but he clearly needs some comfort and reassurance and you're more than happy to give it to him

"Bucky, listen to me. That person isn't going anywhere. You might leave the industry and do something entirely different for the rest of your life but if that person has any sense, they'll stick with you. You're the easiest person to be around, you can make any corner of the world feel like home. They'd be an idiot to not appreciate that." Your heart almost shatters when he looks down at you with watery eyes, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. This is the most vulnerable that you've seen him and it's so lovely to see him opening up but you don't want him to get too trapped in his own head. "Just don't become a spider catcher, I don't think it's your calling in life." You giggle and he bursts out into the purest laugh.

"Shut up, you dork." He chuckles, holding your chin with one hand, caressing your cheek with the other and giving you a kiss that's nothing short of loving.

[cloudytamaki]

hq » dumbass things

warnings: crack, dumbass topics (choking etc), swearing 😺✨ author’s notes: sorry if i didn’t get many characters / all of them,, i’m new to watching/reading + this is my first time writing haikyuu!

bokuto • you were choking on water, and guess what this dumbass does? he panics and yells your name, jumping up quickly as he slaps his hand down hard on your back. sir?? are we trying to give y/n a mcfucking back issue?

sugawara • found a puppy in the backyard at 12 am and brought it inside. i’m currently wondering if he needs glasses or a slap on the back, because it was obviously a coyote. you kept telling him and told him not to bring it inside, but he was in his mom mode and brought the ‘homeless shepherd mix’ inside anyway.

tsukishima • so you got up early in the morning and absolutely lost it when tsukki got up without pants on. this man was wearing his mom’s birthday gift from last year – boxers with chibi dinosaurs on them. when you pointed them out, he got redder than the dinos on the fabric.

asahi • you asked him to watch a horror movie with you. this was a very bad idea since you chose saw. he actually jumped into your lap a few times, and on a particularly gory part, he gasped and suddenly went silent. he actually fainted.

oikawa • you did the tiktok shower prank on him since he was singing at the top of his lungs. you jumped in, fully clothed, expecting a funny ass reaction. what you didn’t expect was him screaming, pulling down the shower curtain, slipping and falling, butt ass naked. he got shampoo in his eyes and landed hard on his wrist. you had to help this man up and rinse him down, then dry him after.

yamaguchi • you were at a gas station, buying slushies and random snacks for the car. you paid and walked out of the store, getting into the car. you thought he was behind you... he wasn’t. he actually got into an unlocked car; you dragged him out before the person could come back and call the cops.

kuroo • you have a pair of crocs that you wear all around the house, and you usually keep the strap up. but when you slid them on, you didn’t notice that the strap was down, and you were in the hallway trying to yank your feet out of the crocs when kuroo came in and scared you, causing you to fall right on your ass. he started laughing like a hyena and didn’t help you fix them.

goshiki • you were giving him a haircut since he insisted. i don’t even know how this happened but your dog came running in and started barking because of the mailman. and guess what?? goshiki jumped and there was some screaming – then suddenly you realized you had chopped a lock of his hair off. cue intense fright when he looks in the mirror. never again.

iwaizumi • you were cuddling in bed, fully asleep when suddenly he had a nightmare. his foot slammed into your shins and you let go of him, screaming. he shot up, his eyes crazed and his hair wild when he saw you on the floor. he helped you up and was so confused when you scooted to the other side of the bed.

kageyama • he... i don’t know how to explain this but he managed to get his foot stuck in the door. literally not joking. he managed to get his foot stuck in the door and called you for help, you grabbed him and pulled him hard but it didn’t work until you unscrewed the door.

daichi • he was eating lunch with you; he ordered a dish and he forgot to tell the waiter to hold the spice. so, when he started eating, he started coughing loudly. his entire face was red and no amount of water could fix it. guess who’s never going back there.

hinata • you know the funny my-child-is-at-the-register joke? you always laughed at it until it happened to you. you went to the bathroom and when you came back out, you couldn’t find hinata. he was gone... or so you thought; your name was blasted throughout the store on the loudspeakers. when you came over there he looked like he was about to piss himself.

lev • you were at the beach, slowly stepping into the water to have some fun. then your 6′5 boyfriend comes running in the water and slips on the sand, doing a wonderful face plant. and when he slipped, mud and water sprayed all over your nice new bathing suit. 

kenma • this man... you were at ikea looking at some new beds and wallpapers for your rooms, kenma was looking for a gaming desk. you told him you were gonna look at another theme and he nodded and sat down on a nearby couch. then you walked back over and saw him slumped on the couch, passed out. you had to shake his ass awake because there were angry staff people behind you.

tendou • he was making a scene about how he stuffed 12 pieces of gum in his mouth and was dancing to the store music when he started choking on his bubblegum. people literally passed by the aisle you were in with disgusted looks as you gave him the heimlich. don’t even ask me how, but he managed to get it stuck in his hair.

akaashi • you were going ice skating. kind of a classy activity, so you thought he’d be great at it. well... he kind of was; he didn’t fall, but he accidentally slid into the wall/railing thing a few times.

atsumu • begged you to go out with him to a new pizza restaurant and said he’d pay for everything. you reluctantly agreed, and you had the best pie of your life. and the $40 receipt comes, and you realize this man. left. his wallet. at home.

osamu • he mopped the floor and went outside, then came back inside, expecting the floor to be dry. well, it wasn’t, so when he walked on it, there were some nasty ass footprints. he actually blamed it on you uhm...

sakusa • someone recognized him in public and shook his hand because they were a big fan. the man went into convulsions when the person’s skin made contact with his.

terushima • he keeps acting like his tongue piercing is something to brag about. it definitely isn’t when he gets it stuck in some food and asks you to help him take it out.

suna • so... you were unaware he was taking a nap in the other room, and you were shaking your ass to some cardi b songs. and you thought the door was locked, and he caught you right in the middle of a split. your muscles popped when he threw open the door asking you to turn the volume the fuck down.

ushijima • you were cleaning the fish tank with him and you offered to carry the 10 gallon tank back to where it was after you washed it. he kept denying you and lifted it up to prove his point. when he was walking with it, he dropped it. 

yamamoto • kept talking about having guts and being manly, so you decided to test his resolve by dragging him to an actually haunted house. he did a very good job of disguising his surprise, but he just squeezed your hand tighter. you were nearing the exit when a big ass hairy spider dropped right in front of his face. man jumped back and shrieked like the little girl you saw earlier. he was so embarrassed when you brought it up.

nishinoya • you invited him horseback riding, and he happily agreed. well, you warm up to the horse before swinging yourself onto its back. he somehow botched both of those – the horse bit him and ran off when he got on. that pretty much ruined his perception of horses.

tanaka • he was going out in public and was completely oblivious to his own smell. goddamn, it smelled like baked beans fermenting in a sewer. he was acting all cool and didn’t even notice people covering their noses. when he got home with a bouquet of marigolds, you didn’t know what smelled worse, the flowers or him.

[smcc212]

My Daily

Pairings- Tommy Shelby x fem! Reader

Word count- 1,109

Warnings- The Shelby family not trusting you(thinking you’re a gold digger), fluffy fluff fluff fluff, not proofread. I think that’s all

A/N- Thank you @holama for this request! I hope you enjoy it!!

Daily:- British.

A nonresident servant who comes to work everyday; a person employed to do cleaning or household work by the day.

When you started working at Arrow house you never thought you would end up living there, and you certainly never thought you’d be with your boss, but here you were. It’s crazy to think that, had you not been tasked with looking after Charlie, you and Tommy would’ve never gotten together. Your life was a dream. A loving husband and the sweetest step-son ever. However, there was one part of your life that wasn’t a dream; Tommy’s family.

You couldn’t the amount of times they-Polly especially- accused you of being with Tommy for his money. You understood why they thought that, but it didn’t mean it hurt any less. You loved Tommy, you were in love with Tommy, so it hurt that they couldn’t see it. Everyone in the Shelby/Grey family, apart from Finn, hated you. Finn was civil with you, he always said “I’ve not seen Tommy this happy since before Grace died, I’m not gonna ruin that for him.” The rest of them, though, made sure you know that they didn’t like you. They won’t say anything, Tommy won’t let them, but they’d glare at you; you’d hear them whispering about you. Tommy knew as well, you’d heard him have ago at his family for it, but they never listened.

“Morning, love,” Tommy cooed waking into your bedroom with a tray in his hands.

“Mornin’,” You murmured back, rubbing the sleep out of your eye. “What’re you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be at work?” Your voice still groggy from sleep.

“Took a few days off. Here, I made you breakfast. Well... toast and tea, but still.” You sat up as Tommy joined you on the bed, setting the tray down on your lap. “Don’t worry, I’ve already eaten.” You smiled at him, taking a piece of toast.

“Why did you take time off work?” You asked with your mouth full. You quickly realised that wasn’t “proper” like a politicians wi-girlfriend should be and castes your gaze down in shame.

“I thought we could take Charlie travelling for a few days. Like my mum did with me and my brothers when I was his age,” He answered, chuckling at your reaction.

“That’d be lovely, Tom.” You covered your mouth with your hand this time.

“Great. You know, you don’t have to do that; you don’t have to be ‘proper’ all the time,” He said, taking your hand in his.

“I’m with a politician, I’m supposed to proper and elegant.” You shrug.

“I know, but no ones hear to see you or judge you. It’s only me.” You smiled at each other. “Right, I’ll pack some things and, once you’ve eaten and gotten dressed, we’ll leave.”

“Okay, Tommy.”

It was weird, travelling, you’d never done it before. It was strange sleeping in the vardo, it was weird watching Tommy kill and cook your food. But it was fun. Tommy was teaching Charlie how to step up traps one day as you went for walk. Peaceful. That’s what it was. You’d grown up poor, and that’s why you jumped at the opportunity to work at Arrow house. That fact didn’t help you with Tommy’s family, but if they could see the two of you now. No mansion, no fancy clothes and jewellery. Just you, Tommy and Charlie. You preferred this to your life at Arrow house, it was closer to what you knew; you could be yourself instead of worry about what Tom’s business partners would think.

Your thoughts were interrupted by Charlie running towards you, screaming your name with Tommy following behind, a smile plastered on his face.

“What’s got you so excited?” You asked, crouching down to Charlie’s level, Tommy standing behind him.

“He wants to go on a ride with you, though you two could do that we’ll I get dinner sorted.” You’d never seem Tommy smile this much; he looked beautiful. You scratched your neck nervously as you looked up at Tommy. “What’s wrong?” He asked, worry started to creep in to his features and lurk in his expression.

“Nothing, it’s just... well, I don’t know how to ride a horse,” You mumbled, looking at the ground, slightly embarrassed.

“You don’t know how?” Charlie asked in complete shock.

“Nope, not a clue.” You shook your head.

“That won’t fly, will it Charlie?” Tommy spoke. “We’re gonna have to teach her, aren’t we?” Charlie grabbed your hand and pulled you towards the horses. Tommy helped you up.

“Wow,” You chuckled nervously. “This is really high up.” Tommy just laughed. “Shouldn’t I be on a saddle?”

“You want the horse to trust you, it’s better to learn without a saddle.”

“Okay,” You replied shakily as Tommy laughed at your nerves.

“You’ll be fine, I promise.”

You most of the day on that horse, Tommy and Charlie laughing at how scared you got when the horse would speed up a little. Not long after you started getting the hang of things Tommy told you it was time to head back and get dinner started.

You sat around the fire, Charlie telling you all about a bird he saw that he claimed was “the biggest bird ever!” And that it was “probably a dinosaur or something!” You huddled into Tommy’s side as you ate the rabbit Charlie and him caught. Nothing could get rid of the smile that had stained your face. After dinner you put Charlie to bed and you and Tommy went to bed yourselves.

“You know, if Charlie weren’t here, it’d be taking you right now,” Tommy chuckled.

“Of course you would,” you laughed. “You know, I like this. I like being out here with you two, I’ve never seen you smile like this before.”

“Out here it’s just us three, and my family isn’t here to try and ruin are relationship. I’ve talked to them, but they just won’t listen.”

“They think I want your money, I’d don’t to be clear,” You said and cuddled closer to Tommy.

“I know, love. But they’ll have to get over their thoughts once you’re my wife,” He replied, nonchalantly.

“Your wife?”

“Yep.” Tommy got out of bed and grabbed something out of his jacket pocket. “(Y/N) (Y/L/N), will you marry me?” He opened the box showing you the gorgeous diamond incrusted ring. Tears burned your eyes as you looked at the ring.

“Of course I will, Tommy!” You exclaimed, quietly, well aware that Charlie was asleep next to you. He placed to ring of your ring before you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him down to kiss him passionately.

“I love you, (Y/N),” Tommy whispered, your foreheads resting against each other’s.

“I love you too, Tommy.”

Tags:

@the-makingsofgreatness

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #467

“oh, mary, mary, ain’t this fun?  /  mary, mary, i’ve got a gun”

If the last person you kissed asked you to marry them, what would you do? Pray to god it wasn't in public and tell him it's waaaay too soon for that one. Does your favorite uncle have any children? Yeah, a son and daughter. Name all the members (first, middle and last names) from your favorite band. Ha, it's funny how once upon a time, I could do this. All I've got now is John Michael Osbourne. Have you ever heard a young child swear? Maybe? Have you ever seen someone get a piercing/tattoo?: Yes to both. Has a taste of something ever made you smile? Boy meet me at The Cheesecake Factory and see what my face does lmaooo As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? I wanted to be a paleontologist sooo badly. I wanted to discover new dinosaurs, put a shitload of work into unearthing fossils and being so proud to see the final results... Even now as an adult, if I could handle the heat, traveling, and hardcore school, I'd still love to do that. Would you cuss the person you hate the most out to their face? No. My hatred for her is unjustified and I'd rather just not say anything to her. Have you ever spent more than two weeks in a wheelchair? No. Where do you see your closest friend in ten years? As one of the strongest people around. I imagine her with a job in medical coding, while also pursuing the hobbies of ball python breeding and writing. I'm sure she'll have loads of pets to love, too! Do you like Florence + The Machine? I've never listened to them. Did you watch the presidential debates? No. Do you ever watch Dr. Phil? No. Are you typically unattracted to people outside of your race? No; I can be attracted to any race. Have you ever ridden any animal other than a horse? No. Do you brush your hair when it’s wet? Yes. Do you eat the crusts of your bread? Yeah, I always have. Have you ever flown a kite? Yeah! At my childhood home, there was a tobacco field directly across the street, and when they weren't in season so the field was flat, Dad would help us with getting kites set up and in the air. Those are good memories. How are you for money? I don't make any money. Mom is struggling. Do you think you are more intelligent than the average person? Ha, no. Do you ever think about why we are here? Does it matter? We're here, so make the most of it. Do you like cherries? I fucking hate cherries. Name a celebrity that you admire that nobody would expect you to: Jeffree Star, probs. Can you use a yoyo? Not well, but yeah. Do you think Jenna Marbles’ videos are funny? I've actually never watched her. Do you like folk music? NOOOOOOOOO Ever had a crush on somebody of the same sex? Yes. Do you know any lesbians? Yep. Favourite member of your favourite band: I'm unfamiliar with all but Ozzy himself. And Ozzy is rad. Who’s your favourite female rapper? I don't have one. When you were younger, were you ever in a relationship with someone you now realize was way too old for you? No. Have you ever had a seizure? No. I sometimes have very, very quick spasms when I'm falling asleep that feel like what I assume a seizure would, but they barely last a second. They seriously jerk me awake, though, and are very startling. What’s the oldest man-made object you own? I dunno. Is there anything you feel like you need a break from? Not really, no. What do you hate to hear people joke about? I will actually and remorselessly deck you in the jaw if you make a joke about rape. There are other things that are absolutely forbidden joking matters for me, too. What’s the largest animal you’ve seen in the wild? Hmmm... Nothing that big, really. Maybe a whitetail deer buck? Do any of your friends or family members have strange occupations? Not to my knowledge. Have you ever been in weather so severe that you feared for your safety? Oh yeah. We've had some savage thunderstorms. What political issues are the most important to you personally? LGBTQ+ rights and just equality in general, the pro-choice movement, environmental conservation, gun control, the abolishment of poverty and homelessness... There is honestly a lot. I could keep going. Do you know anyone who doesn’t know how to cook even just simple recipes? ... Me. :x Especially now that I'm in a relationship, I really want to make a greater effort to learn. I want to prove to him I give a damn about the success of our relationship and that I'm capable of being an adult that can take part in general adult responsibilities. ^What’s stopping them from learning this basic life skill? Laziness. Forgetfulness. The fear of getting burned. What small thing makes you automatically distrust someone? I can pick up on sketchy body language from a mile away. I'm too paranoid not to. Of all the states/provinces in your country, which one is your favorite? At least from photographs I've seen, Utah appears BEAUTIFUL. That whole region of the U.S. in general. Are there any obscure foods you’ve eaten that most people have never tried? That's very unlikely. I'm far from explorative with food. When you travel to other countries, do you always try the local cuisine? I've never been outside the U.S. I would probably do that, though. I'd really want to experience the culture as thoroughly as I could. What did you do for your 19th birthday? Hell if I remember. What’s the kindest thing a total stranger has done for you? I remember as a young kid, my parents, two sisters, and I were getting food at McDonald's, and whoever was in front of us paid for our meals. Such a sweet gesture for a larger family. Have you ever used a meal kit delivery service? No, but there actually is one that I can't recall the name of that I'd like to try when I cook myself, especially getting started learning, but yeah, subscription fees. You see a lot of YouTubers get sponsored by them, if that rings a bell. Do you have any psychological issues rooted in events from your childhood? Possibly my fear of men, with my dad having been an alcoholic that had a 50/50 chance of being very angry when drunk. How organized are the files on your computer? Pretty organized, I'd say. I put stuff into folders. Would you date someone with braces? Yes? Do you ever rehearse conversations before you have them? Only always. Do you get angry at yourself or at others more often? Myself, for sure. When taking a cab, do you talk to the driver? I've never even taken a cab. Who or what greets you at the door every time you come home? Nobody, really. My cat is occasionally in the living room to see who's home, but not always because he's a lazy cat, ha ha. Do you ever chat about your favourite video games with your friends? Not really, no. I wish. Have you ever supported anyone’s Kickstarter? If so, what was it? No, bc I'm poor. Are you currently studying a language? If so, which one? No. Ever had a friend online for a long time without seeing a photo of them? Yeah. Do you carry pepper spray? No, but I want some 'cuz I'm paranoid as hell. Are you waiting on anything right now? No. Have you ever been described as shy? Is it true? Oh, always. It's absolutely true. Name something you’re a complete sucker for? Baby animals, to name one thing. Do you remember when you first went on the internet? Nope. What is one way someone could completely put you off on a first date? Arrogance/over-confidence. What about a way someone could make you like them more on a first date? Make me genuinely laugh a lot, to name one way. Are you in love right now? Not yet. I love him with our decade of history, but I need more experience as a couple before I've got the confidence to say that. Do you wanna get married anytime soon? It wouldn't be smart to. I want to be in a strong relationship for quite a few years before I want that. Have you ever kissed someone in a band? No. Has someone ever made you a Build-A-Bear? No but oh my fucking god I wish!!!!!! Did your mom or dad ever put soap in your mouth? No, but Mom would threaten to. What was the last fruit you ate? Well, I had strawberry yogurt earlier today. Who was the last person to make you laugh? Girt. He is very, very good at that. Have you ever dated someone with more piercings than you? No. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Hell yeah man. Is there one night of your life you wish had never happened? I wish it hadn't happened the way it did. Do you have a close relationship with your sibling(s)? No. What was the last thing that you shared? Some watermelon Sour Patch Kids with my mom. Do you think people talk behind your back? You couldn't get me to believe my mom doesn't at least sometimes to my sisters even if you tried your absolute damnedest. In real life do you laugh like ‘haha,’ 'hehe’ or something else? It depends on what I'm laughing at/at what intensity. Do you have any unusual skills? Nah. Who’s your favourite person? I don't have a sole favorite person. I love many people in different ways for varying reasons. Are there any chores you actually enjoy doing? No. When did you last have an "Oh, I get it now!" moment? Watching Attack on Titan yesterday w/ Girt. Have your parents ever suspected something untrue about you? My mom HAD to have suspected I was doing something FAR worse than innocent meerkat RP to have borderline fucking traumatized me invading my privacy and forcing shit out of me regarding what I was always doing on the computer so secretively. Like I get it, she was a concerned mother, but I was a fucking WRECK because I found it so embarrassing. It was insulting that she didn't trust her well-behaved daughter. What do you think about video games? They're great for both the creators and consumers. They're wonderful expressions of creativity, and so much fun to experience as a player, delving into a new world and getting engrossed in the story. I could go onnnn and onnnnn about what video games mean to me. I've gone my whole life as a loyal gamer. Are there any forms of Art you personally find pointless? I really, really don't get a lot of abstract art that's worth fucking thousands, BUT, I absolutely disagree that they are without purpose. The artist created what they did for SOME reason. As a distraction, a method of expressing emotion, to convey an idea... Are you tired right now? I have been SO ridiculously tired today. Like it's unreal. I've taken I wanna say three naps and I'm still sleepy. What’s something you do a lot? Drink something. I'm not talking about alcohol; just in general, I ALWAYS need some kind of drink by me, and I go through drinks pretty quickly. Are you currently on any other websites? Yeah, I'm watching YouTube. Are you good at using Photoshop? I'm decent, I guess. Have you ever been told you naturally tilt your head a certain way? Yes, actually, at least by my mom, and she's right. My head tends to tilt VERY slightly to the right, and I can tell by how easy it is to bend my head that way as opposed to left. I'll feel a biiiit more strain.

[sunflowrhaz]

I was tagged by @theleavesoflorien​ to answer a few questions that dig a little deeper. thank you darling!! (this is literally months old oops) 💛

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen?

both really, i don’t have a preference

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or in the city?

country! i hate cities so much! i grew up visiting my grandparents farm all the time growing up! although instead of the country preferably a seaside town such as the one i live in. it’s not too busy but not far away from everything.. plus i couldn’t part from the sea! 

3. If you could learn a new skill, what would it be?

picking back up painting, continue learning norwegian (don’t look at me like that marianne i keep saying i’m learning it but i’ve been so slack asdfdsasdf), get back into marimba

4. do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar?

tea with sugar is so gross! i only drink herbal teas. my favourite is spearmint

5. What was your favourite book as a child?

the harry potter series!! and the rainbow magic books asdfgfdsa, the princess diaries series, anything roald dahl, anything dr suess, captain underpants lol, hairy maclary, mr mcgee and the biting flea asdfdsadf soo many i was such a loner as a child and literally read every single book i could find

6. Do you prefer baths or showers?

showersss

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be?

a mermaid so i can live my h2o fantasy adfasdfds or a dragon 🐉

8. Paper or electronic books?

paper always! i love the smell and i would love to have a giant bookshelf filled with books one day! i read on my phone for fics of when i get a free ebook but my right eye is so blind it’s like bitch no stop please lmaoo

9. What is your favourite item of clothing?

all my flowy boho cotton blouses and pants! and my fave blue jeans and grungy tshirts

10. Do you like your name? Would you like to change it?

i used to wish it was a little more unique like shortening it to ren/wren instead of lauren because i had 4 other lauren’s in my grade at school 😂i was literally friends with two lauren’s asdfgfdsa

but in the end i do love my nicknames lozz,lozzy, lozza so it’s not so bad!

11. Who is a mentor to you?

my mother and my grandfather! my grandfather is my biggest inspiration 💛seeing all that he has achieved and his views and mentality on life.

12. Would you like to be famous? If so, what for?

nooo thanks. the only famous i would want to be is for activism/humanitarian/environmentalist stuff but even then i wouldn’t want to be super famous and known?

13. Are you a restless sleeper?

nope! once i’m out i am out! i love my sleep and do everything i can to ensure i get the best sleep ever! now if you’ll excuse me i’m off to listen to harry’s calm meditation 😂

15. Which element best represents you?

fire and air

16. Who do you want to be closer to?

my brother! i feel like i don’t see him as often anymore what with his work and living in seperate houses. he is my best friend so i miss just always having him near me all the time.

17. Do you miss someone at the moment?

no one so much as just not seeing my family as often even though i do see them every week. i just want a big family holiday to spend time with them. and i’m missing some of my mutals atm who are busy lately 😞

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory.

i blocked out so much of my childhood eeep ummm probably visiting my grandparents farm, riding horses, my grandfather driving us around on a trailer on the back of a tractor, collecting cicada skins with my brother and starting a collection of cool bugs, stealing berries off the mulberry bush ahaha, finding snake skins (why did we like collecting skins wtf asdfd) 

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten?

snails? crocodile? i don’t even know ahaha (snails are amazing btw yummm i used to eat them all the time in vanuatu growing up)

20. What are you most thankful for?

my family, my health, the beautiful country i live in, the friends i have made on here 💛so many things

21. Do you like spicy food?

yummmmmm yes! just not super duper spicy i can’t handle that asdfgfsa

22. Have you ever met someone famous?

no i don’t think so? wait patty walters from as it is i got a pic and a hug from him <3 other than that no i don’t think so i mean i’m in the middle of nowhere asdfdsa woohoo australia

23. Do you keep a diary or journal?

i kept a super embarrassing diary at 12 but apart from that nope! like seriously that diary haunts me i don’t know what happened to it please for the love of god i hope it got thrown in the trash asdfdsa the CRINGE 

24. Do you prefer to use pen or pencil?

pen! 

25. What is your star sign?

sagittarius sun, capricorn moon, libra rising 

26. Do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy?

CRUNCHY! wtf who is eating soggy cereal you are seriously disturbed asdfgfdsa

27. What would you want your legacy to be?

this is so tough ummm just bettering humanity and the environment idek 

28. Do you like reading? What was the last book you read?

yes!! i was the loner kid in school who sat in the library at lunch reading all the books asdfgfdsa. the last book i read was the raven king by maggie stiefvater because LIBBY got me totally obsessed with this series god dammit what have you done to me and i am currently reading call down the hawk which is a sequel to the raven king (dammit libby asdfdsdfdsa)

29. How do you show someone you love them?

i always seem to cater to them with acts of service? so like cooking for them etc.. just doing stuff for them and looking after them in general? idk how to describe it. also sweet little messages and notes and cuddles! oh BOY will i tell you how much i love you in a birthday card or message asdsa like i will bring a tear to your eye baby just made my grandpa cry with his bday card asdfdsa

30. Do you like ice in your drinks?

crushed ice mmmmmm

31. What are you afraid of?

losing my family, never travelling, being stuck/tied down

32. What is your favourite scent?

the ocean, rain, books, sea breeze, wet grass, coffee, lavender, clean sheets, spearmint

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname?

mostly their name? i mean i feel like where i live in australia it’s pretty chill and not so formal? i even call my grandparents by their first names adfgfdsa mainly because my grandma did NOT want to be called grandma 

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life?

OH BOY! i would be travelling non stop! i would literally never come home, i would be travelling around the world, living overseas etc... literally i would just be living on a boat sailing around greece or wherever. omg how i would love to do that :(

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean?

it depends. i would say the ocean (i love her so much) but also i was a swimmer for over 10 years so i love the pool too. i love sitting on the bottom of the pool, it’s so calming

36. What would you do if you found $50 on the ground

keep it but if i knew whose it was i would return it

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? Did you make a wish?

no :( hopefully one day

38. What is one thing you would want to teach your children?

i’m not having children

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it?

maybe a quote/word or something on the back of my arm above my elbow idek i have an entire tattoo board on pinterst asdfdsa even though i know i would never get one i am too indecisive  

40. What can you hear right now?

 i’m listening to a pop punk playlist on spotify

41. Where do you feel the safest?

at home with my family

42. What is one thing you want to overcome/conquer?

my procrastination habits omg i am the worst!! certain family relations

43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be?

dinosaurs mate, straight up, jks jks... no but really dinosaurs would be soo cool though, or maybe ancient greece?

44. What is your most used emoji?

💛✨😂

45. Describe yourself using one word.

more than one came to mind so giddy, optimistic, cheerful

46. What do you regret the most?

not travelling heaps after school ( i mean i was broke but still i should have worked more *sigh*) travelling looks really bleak now thanks to covid :(, losing touch with 3 certain people from high school i suck at staying in touch with people i am such an introvert 😞

47. Last movie you saw?

enola holmes and i loved it so much!

48. Last tv show you watched?

the mandalorian

49. Invent a word and its meaning

wobmap - intense affection and wonder for nature and the world

asdfgh what even

i tag: @pridesobright @sunflower-vol14 @rnbziamau @dailylouis @boobear-harold @princessparkhl @rosegoldeyelids @echoedsparks @angelharry (it’s been a while my secret santa pal ahaha hello!) and whoever else want’s to do this please feel free to say i tagged you! :) feel free to ignore 

[ymiwritesstuff]

Hey, I've just discovered Diego Brando and don't know much about him but could you do a Deigo x female reader where he struggles to find his coffee or something, like those moments where he apparently goes blind? If not, just fluff please. Thank you.

Oooh this one is super nice!! I hope you enjoy this, despite the (once again..) short length. Thank you so much for requesting!!

Morning Coffee

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure Part 7: Steel Ball Run

Diego Brando x Fem!Reader

Summary: After the long riding session of the previous day, you find yourself craving a certain dark liquid first thing in the morning. You brew a cup for your companion as well, but things turn out to be a lot more strange than expected.

The morning Sun pierced through the thin fabric of your tent, snapping you out of your dream. You yawn, and lazily open your eyes that are begging to be closed again. Quickly turning to your side you notice Diego, still deeply buried in the world of dreams. His face was calm, breathing steady whilst he slept. The previous day had been tiring, filled with nonstop riding through different terrains so it was obvious that both of you needed to be well rested in order to continue the race today. You were certain that the blond next to you was beyond exhausted as he was still in sleep slumber, not bothered by the brightness of the Sun.

Thinking it’s about time to get up, you carefully move to the entrance of the tent, careful not to disturb Diego. You carefully stick out your head, letting the morning air embrace your upper body. You smile when you notice your and Diego’s horses, happily standing where you had left them before bed. Taking a quick glance at the sleeping beauty himself, you’re relieved to find out that he hadn’t been disturbed by your movements, as he was still lightly snoring, deep within his dream.

You gently smile to yourself, fully stepping out of the tent and stretching your limbs, taking a deep breath. It was fairly early in the morning judging by the Sun and your eventual departure wouldn’t be delayed which was something Diego was extremely strict about, due to his competitive nature towards the race. This also meant that this was the first time you would be able to enjoy a cup of coffee as usually you didn’t have any time to even brew the dark liquid.

The thought of the energizing liquid makes you smile and start making the beverage. You quickly relit the fire from the previous session and take out all the necessary equipment and two cups as you’re sure Diego will be craving the drink as much as you are once he finally wakes up.

~

The smell of coffee caused Diego to open his cyan eyes and rub them lazily. Lifting his head up, he could see you from the slightly opened entrance of the tent. He yawned softly before getting up, craving the taste of coffee. 

When you heard him come out of the tent, you turned to him, smiling as you take a sip of the caffeine filled liquid, cherishing the flavor. “Good morning, Diego” you say as he sits next to you. He looks well rested, yet somewhat exhausted. Perhaps coffee would be of help for him too. “I made you a cup too” You lift up the cup you hold in your hand, the blond’s eyes following it sharply. “It’s right there” His eyes follow your hand that’s pointing at the still steaming cup, but for some reason there’s a glint of confusion in them. He reaches for the right direction however his hand just waves around the cup, with seemingly no attempt to grab it. He looks back at you with frowned brows framing his eyes. “Where?” 

Visible confusion draws itself on your face as you try to understand the confusion of his own. “It’s right there in front of you” When your hand moves to point the cup again, Diego’s eyes are locked on it within seconds. He carefully follows the direction eyes filled with puzzlement, but still doesn’t seem to reach for the cup instead looking at what he thinks is an empty space. “I can’t see anything (Name). Are you making fun of me?” Diego’s growing frustration is clear as he speaks to you, his voice filled with annoyance. Your own face is twisted with utter shock and bafflement. Your eyes didn’t fool you, the cup was definitely there. Can’t he see it? “No, I’m not! It’s right there, Diego! Are you trying to make fun of me?” Your voice is much louder than intended, your own annoyance leaking through. 

Diego only huffs at your words and tries to yet again grab the cup he just can’t seem to find. He mutters something under his breath, something that doesn’t even sound like any understandable language. You then notice the crack on the side of his mouth that reaches all the way to his cheek. So that’s what this is. Your gaze softens as you move to his cup, taking it to your hands.

“Here,” Diego holds out his hands and you place the warm cup in them. This must be the fault of his recently acquired ability he told you about. You didn’t know everything, but thought it was safe enough to assume this was the cause of it. “Still having trouble controlling your ability?” He doesn’t answer right away as he hungrily drinks the coffee, almost like an animal. This side of him was fairly new, but you’ve been trying to get used to it as much as possible, trying to understand it. Once he’s done, he rudely tosses the cup aside, seemingly satisfied with the drink. “Bloody hell.. What a nuisance..” His features return to normal, the crack on his face fading away. 

Diego was embarrassed to say the least. To him, he had just made a fool of himself in front of you only because of his recent ability. Part of him wants to get rid of it as soon as possible but he knows that with this ability he has a chance to achieve his goals and ambitions. He needs this and he hates the fact that he does. He notices you sitting next to him, hugging him from the side. “You’re a silly dinosaur, you know that?” You don’t notice it, but a light shade of pink dusts his cheeks as he hugs you back, placing his chin on top of your head.

Although he found this little coffee episode embarrassing in a way, he was still delighted that you were with him on this journey, making everything a lot less heavy. Perhaps one day he would laugh at this little incident as well.

[punkinroses]

Yugioh Season 4 Quotes Prompt Meme

I am stressed, tired, sick of my job and needing a brain break. Yugioh Abridged is my go to for that at the moment. So. Have a sentence meme thing. Feel free to reblog, change pronouns, etc. Go have fun kids. Be wild. Be gay. Do crime. Love you

“The whole saving the world thing really eats into your study time.” “But my teacher gave me, like, a bunch of gold stars! And an A+ in trying.” “I already know everything I need to know about mathematics from playing card games.” “I was also thinking about doing some of the drugs later.” “(name)’s hand is on fire!” “That sounds like a commotion! .......Yes. Definitely a commotion.” “Well, I’m sure the city can defend itself.” “Those neutral motherfuckers. I never cared for them.” “How the hell did you people get in my house!?” “I’m not sure I like the rich douchebag channel.” “We figured you had more of an emotional connection to these.” “Damnit, (name), we agreed I would do the monologuing.” “My spirit guide has once again served its purpose.” “It’ll be called the bitch ass retirement plan. Named after you, ya bitch ass!” “That’s some OP bullshit right there.” “Broseph...Brosephine...Bro DiMaggio.” “I’ve got shoulder pads!” “Now what are you gonna do, Bromeo and Juliet?” “It’s not often I get to hear the worst insult ever coined by a human being.” “Yeah, they once sucked out Channing Tatum’s soul as a joke.” “I have nothing else in my life, please!” “So you’re someone I haven’t seen in a really, really long time? .........Are you my parents??!!” “Stop abusing the concept of friendship!!” “You must have spent YEARS researching this! Even though you can find this exact information on the back of any Yu-Gi-Oh! DVD!” “King of doors, bitch!” “That’s two points for Middle Earth, zero points for (name).” “I was not prepared to watch this today.” “Okay, so, you’re a lost cause.” “If even one of you makes a Sharknado reference, I will end you so hard.” “Try this on for size, you Sauron-looking motherfucker!” “I thought we had an agreement! You agreed to not be a little bitch, but now you’re being a little bitch!” “Maybe they’ll take someone’s soul that we don’t care about this time.” “Goddamnit, you never help me, ever!!” “Alright, douchebags! I’m sick and tired of us not being on top!” “These meetings get fucking weird.” “How much more specific can I get? SOMEWHERE in CALIFORNIA.” “I wonder if there are card games on the moon.” “I knew it. This is just some cheap trick to get me to come see you, so you can hit on me with a bunch of cheap innuendos, isn’t it?” “And, to think, people call you a diluted egomaniac.” “That’s not possible! I’M the adorable one!” “For some reason, cruising for chicks has caused me to become severely injured.” “I would be so turned on if that wasn’t such a huge waste of trading cards.” “I’d like to spread some vegemite on those things.” “You left me on a blimp with a known psychopath, while I was in a coma, so you could go off and play video games.” “So, in other words, since we’ve never seen your balls drop, we can assume it hasn’t happened?” “My douche-senses are telling me that (name) is mocking me somewhere.” “Should I remind you to tell them to go fuck themselves when we get there?” “He will eat you with his crocodile face.” “Okay, did you have to include the part of the story where they insulted me?” “Hey, a sword! I can stab people with this!” “Seriously? That was your one Koala joke?” “Try believing in the heart of the cards.” “Quiet, you sorcerer.” “If you’re seeing this, (name), it either means I’m dead, leaving behind a very fabulous looking corpse, or my soul has been captured.” “Maybe it had something very kinky on it and 4Kids had to censor it.” “I’ll leave that up to the fanfic authors.” “I’ll write a highly unfavorable research paper about you! With inconclusive findings!” “I feel like I should be concerned, but I just can’t stop thinking about how Copernicus is such a stupid name for a horse.” “You know that thing takes people’s souls and I found it on a dead guy, right?” “That was acting, children! Bravo for me!” “According to my research, I’m in a crapload of pain.” “Learned that trick from playing Super Mario World.” “I’ll just be over here wibbling to myself. Please, pay me no mind.” “Okay, everyone. I’m going to go scream into a pillow for the next five minutes.” “Are you telling me that we can't build an elevator into space?! Because that sounds like something a guy who doesn't want to keep his job would say!” “And let me tell you one last thing. All those times I got angry and declared that I would have my vengeance on you: I WAS FAKING!” “I'm glad we spent all our money on this bag of potato chips and generic brand soda.” “By the way, I memorized several dozen dinosaur puns, just so I could use them in this.” “The only reunion that’s about to happen is my size ten up your buttocks!” “Dorō! Monsutā Kādo!” “You're right, (name). I lost control. At the end of the day, this is just a game.” “We’re going to disturb the spirits of the dead! Yay!” “What the fuck even is this season!?” “Won’t somebody fetch me some ice cream!?” “I’m old and I hold a stick. That automatically makes me the wisest person in the valley.” “It’s a good thing I played all that Assassin’s Creed!” “It’s a good thing I played all that Banjo Kazooie!” “Oh, thank God, because I really wasn’t listening to any of that. Any of it.” “Now, I have to go back down there and challenge that vulture to a card game.” “Okay, (name), I’m going to level with you; I may have lied about the pizza.” “It makes me look really bonkers cool while I kick the shit out of you.” “Actually, he says his name is Cornelius Jr. and he wants to play basketball, just like how his father wanted him to.” “You can talk to snakes!?” “Hey, are you sure it’s safe for us to fly straight into that strange weather phenomenon?” “I guess we’d better confront whatever villain of the week that is.” “Well, these buttons look important.” “We mostly get by using our street smarts and ingenuity.” “No, I'm mad because I never wanted to know what one of Hideo Kojima's wet dreams looked like, and now I do, so thanks for that.” “I swear on my life we didn't keep a single flying war machine of death.” “Well, it would be way more intimidating if its face wasn't so damn adorable.” “Yeah, they’re dead. Dibs on their crappy broken stuff!” “Did you guys notice that this episode had the exact same ending as Bee Movie?” “I'm also glad we're not going to Florida as it means that we are not going to Florida.” “OK, but wait! I'm almost to the part where we met two ghosts in the California desert who just happened to be related to the guy we're fighting. Oh God, you're right; it's all just bullshit, isn't it?” “Breaking stuff will fix it!” “I'm bi a lot of things, but lingual is not one of them.” “Welcome back, asshole.” “Hey (name), wanna reenact a scene from Back to the Future Part II?” “I'd rather throw myself off the roof.” “Damn you, Microsoft Flight Simulator!” “Yes, but you had to steal my catchphrase to do it! Is nothing sacred to you?” “That is the single most offensive thing anyone has ever said to me.” “OK, children, from now on, everybody uses the Buddy System. When I say "Go," I want you all to choose a buddy and form an everlasting and inseparable bond between them 'till death do you part. OK, go!” “(Name), remember, whatever happens, you mustn't become an evil little sh*thead.” “Suckers! Consider yourselves ditched.“ “Well if any other anime in existence has taught me anything, most of the drama tends to happen on...the roof.“ “Just my luck. Dork Fest continues.“ “No! It's got a scythe. The deadliest farming implement known to man.“ “This heavy-hearted metaphor was brought to you by Da, a subsidiary of Doy, Inc.” “OK, this is also total BS. When I came back from the dead, I didn't get a chorus of heavenly music and a light show.“ “It's a good thing I'm so buff or that fall would've killed me.“ “(Name), promise me you're not going to embarrass me in front of the U.S. Military.” “ Guys, I think we took a wrong turn, because I'm pretty sure this is the Chamber of Secrets.” “Those aren't Funko Pops! They're much more disturbing!” “Yeah, makes your measly five thousand years look like a five thousand years of being a bitch, bitch.“ “Okay, but why are we in space?” “I have no idea who that is. You are talkin' fucking crazy right now, man. Are you okay? Do you need water? How long were you in the desert for?“ “For the record, I was dressing up in suits of armor before it was cool.“ “(Name), this is like, the third time you've tried to murder one of my friends, stop it!” “Nah. As a teenager with unlimited access to the Internet, I get to do that every day.” “As I was saying, (name) is a damn handsome and valuable person. Thank goodness for them.” “They died as they lived... pissing me off.” “Okay, who let the posh shithead in here?” “I'm so happy you escaped the cold embrace of death so that I could experience your deathly cold embrace again!“ “Wow. My eBay sensors are tingling.“ “You know, we really have no idea where this portal will take us, but I have total confidence in this decision.“ “None of this matters to you! You're already dead! Blah, blah, blah, omae wa mou shindeiru.” “Glad we came all the way up here so that we could not know what was going on.“ “Does this mean I can take back all the nice things I said?“ “I'm not doing any of those things. I'm just enjoying being with you.”

[beardrabbles]

FEAR

rating: k

words: 2,053

characters: female reader, stephen strange, short mentions of other charaters

notes: ( ao3 request; Endgame reader with powers and strange? ) First time writing Strange, and I’m not sure how well I did! Let me know so I can improve. Had to rewatch the portal scene to remember who came from where and it make me emotional again, heck!

tags: none

                               There was no other way.

When you heard him utter those words, your entire world had buckled. You foggily recalled watching him fade, sharp beard and chilling eyes fluttering away like fresh ash on the roaring winds of an inferno. You had felt sick then, you remember. Not only had your stomach become a void, but so had the rest of your being. Mantis, Drax, Peter Quill and the young Peter Parker — you hadn’t known them well ( or at all for that matter ) and still it pained you to see them go.

                              There was no other way.

Stephen Strange was your mentor, your Sorcerer Supreme, the one person on Earth whom you trusted undoubtedly. There weren’t many alive that you held in such high esteem. He had held this position in your mind and heart for months, and yet.  .  . there he had sat, forfeiting the time stone.

You would never forget the way his hand trembled when he plucked the stone from the air. You would never forget the heavy burden on his voice when he admitted that there was only one option.

But that was all you would remember because seconds later, you would join the millions that had vanished. You had realized half-way through that being erased from existence wasn’t as painful as watching it happen to someone else. Moments before your mind faded and your remains lay on Titan’s surface, you wondered; was there truly no other way?

“I had to do it.”

The voice didn’t startle you, but neither were you happy to hear it. You stood with your arms out and fingers curled, golden glyphs blinking and fizzling in the air. Beyond your hands, you saw the others. They had returned the same way you had, suddenly and with a great deal of confusion. You found more interest in them than you did the cloaked man that lingered beside you.

“You’re upset with me.” He continued.

“The guy in the metal suit isn’t here. Mr. Stark, right? Neither is the blue lady.” You chose to ignore his attempts at a deeper conversation.

“Y/N.  .  .”

“Where did they go? Everyone that disappeared is here, but they’re not. Did they find a way off this rock?”

“They’re on Earth, as they should be.”

Your arms stilled, then they dropped. You turned to face him, your heart squeezing uncomfortably in your chest at the sight of his battered face. Stephen’s expressions were always difficult to read, but the one he sported now was one of pure and painful guilt.

“As they should be?” Your arms folded over your chest, thumb fidgeting with your sling ring. Stephen nodded.

“I told you. I told all of you——”

“You told us horse shit, Stephen! You told us our chances, and nothing else!” You began to panic, your words running together as it was hard to breathe between them when you had a thousand thoughts and opinions to voice. “And then — and then you go and hand Barney the Dinosaur the time stone! The time stone! Everyone’s fading, and there are you tellin’ us that there was no other way! We’re terrified. We’re thinkin’ this is it! We’re screwed! Totally screwed, and.  .  . and.  .  .”

“And.  .  . ?”

You curl your lower lip inward and bite down, eyes stinging. Your hands rose again, and you feel your power flow through them. It was like a shower of sparks flying from the tip of a lit sparkler. Every ember, no matter how tiny, pushed through your veins, your muscles, the little fibers of your being, and came to a painful halt at your fingertips. The glyphs appeared, but they popped in and out of existence too rapidly to be useful.

“I’m still scared,” finally came your reluctant confession. “I came back, and I tried to make a portal so I could find out if my friends and family were alright. I couldn’t do it, and I know that’s why.”

Your head dipped down, the back of your knuckles rubbing at your eyes and wet nose. You had come so far since the beginning of your training, but seeing your confidence return to the condition it had been in when you first started was demoralizing. You had backtracked again, and you weren’t the least bit proud of yourself because of it.

“Show me your hands.” It wasn’t a command so much as it was a request. You refused to lift your eyes and look at the man you had tried so hard to impress, but you did as he asked and held out both of yours hands with the palms facing up. You weren’t sure what he planned to do with them, but you were shaken when you felt his fingers graze against yours. When you peered down, you could see the many deep and knotted scars along his digits. Against the pads of your own fingers, they felt larger than they appeared.

“You’re not the only one that’s afraid, Y/N. We all are.” His palms pressed to yours, and the wall that had obstructed your powers felt as if it were vibrating. 

“You don’t look like you’re afraid. None of you do.” You scoffed and were almost tempted to yank your hands away — mostly out of irritation and partially out of embarrassment. They remained there purely because touch from him was rare.

“You’ve only been training for a year. We’ve been at this for a lot longer than that.” The ghost of a smile toyed with his lips. Catching it gave you some relief, but it didn’t last long. Stephen saw your expression dwindle again and continued. “But we need you. We need everyone that can fight, and I know you can.”

“Stephen, I——”

“You have to trust me.” Anyone in a situation as dire as this one would sound desperate, but you thought you heard the smallest crack in his voice. His dark eyes caught yours, and they captivated you. “I can’t tell you everything. If I do, if I so much as hint at what might happen, it won’t. I know putting blind faith into me is a lot to ask of everyone, but it’s worked out so far.”

“Yeah, so far. What if it decides it doesn’t want to work out anymore?” Your throat tightened, and the urge to crumble hit you again. “I hate this. People are going to die, aren’t they?”

“With or without Thanos, with or without the thousands of paths I witnessed, that is something we can’t avoid.”

“Is it going to be you?”

Stephen opened his mouth to answer, but it snapped shut a millisecond later. His face hardened, and he shook his head. “I can’t tell you that.”

“Please. Is there anything you can tell me? I need something.” You pleaded despite knowing there was very little he could give you. Stephen understood the concepts at hand more than you ever could, but all you needed was to hear that everything would be alright. He knew this, and still he refused to reassure you of the inevitable future.

He wouldn’t leave you without some form of encouragement, however.

His hands moved away from yours and found purchase alongside your face. He held you in so tender a way that you almost didn’t feel the shaking. Your breath stopped dead in your lungs, making your chest swell. Heat bloomed in your cheeks, and you were sure that he could feel it. All focus remained on your eyes, as if he were desperately trying to say something with his gaze that his voice couldn’t. But he had to say it, or else you would never believe it.

Stephen knew you, and he knew that every ounce of self-doubt you had in you would deny the truth until it was said loud and clear for your ears to hear. Because as often as you thought about it, as often as you daydreamed, you never tried to convince yourself that you were more than a pupil to him.

So he spoke, and he hoped that you knew better than to interrupt.

“I can tell you one certainty, and it’s this; you were not a mistake. Finding you, bringing you into our teachings and training you was meant to happen. Everything that has led up to this moment, no matter how bad, was meant to get you here. Right here. With me. You won’t see it because you’re too damn stubborn, but you’ve gotten better. I watched you improve. I’ve watched you fall back too, but you’ve come out stronger because of it.”

The stinging in your eyes had gone away, but only because you had finally allowed yourself to cry. You sniffled and whimpered, eyes and nose leaking. You nodded firmly, letting him know that you were listening and trying your hardest to believe him. He didn’t need to say that, you thought, but he had. And they were, by far, the kindest words he had ever said to you.

Crying out some of your frustration and anxiety had helped, but you were never fond of people seeing you in such a low state. You were grateful, but you had to deflect. You had been given permission to break down for the moment, yet you knew that time wasn’t on your side. If you had to, you could always find time after the battle to cry.  .  . if you managed to survive.

“How many apprentices have you given that speech to?” You coughed out a half-hearted laugh and rubbed at your eyes again, forcing Stephen’s hands away from your face.

“Only one.” His pointed tone and intense gaze made your stomach knot twice over. You fidgeted, eyes moving everywhere but to him.

“If I’ve gotten better, it’s only because you’re the one teaching me. No offense to Wong.”

“None taken.” As if on cue, he approached, hands behind his back. You nearly jumped out of your skin, heart hammering a hundred miles a minute.

“When did you——?”

“Just now.” Wong was a fairly stoic man, but time spent around you had opened up parts of his personality that only Stephen had seen before. Despite his claim, the twinkle in his eyes revealed he may have arrived much earlier. Early enough to catch snippets of your conversation with the Sorcerer Supreme, at least.

“Are they ready?” Suddenly, Stephen was all steely eyes and determination again.

“They’re as ready as they can be. We haven’t exactly trained them for this, but adversity tends to prove itself motivating under the right circumstances.” Wong cast you a knowing smile.

“Wait, who are we talking about?” You glanced between them, feeling twice as confused as before.

“Everyone.”

“You mean everyone-everyone?”

“Every novice and apprentice, every disciple, everyone here on this planet and on Earth and in worlds far from our own.” Stephen gave a single, firm nod. “You’ve heard of fighting fire with fire, right? We’re going to fight an army with an army.”

“So we’re doing this?” Behind your trio of magic users, the remainder of the Guardians and Peter shuffled up. Peter, looking oddly pale in Titan’s ruddy glow, swallowed hard. “We’re actually going to fight Thanos again?”

“We have to.” Stephen gave Wong one last half-nod. Wong returned it and disappeared in a wink of orange sparks.

“Good. Great. That’s cool. Never fought a whole army before, but — y’know.” Peter sighed and let the nanobots of his suit form a mask around his head. Amongst themselves, the Guardians murmured and huddled together. You were left to stand beside your mentor, your whole body quivering from the inside-out with mounting fear.

“Remember, you’re not the only one that’s afraid.” His hand found yours, and he squeezed with as much strength as he could. It wasn’t much, but you felt the sentiment behind it. “And consider this——”

Stephen’s lips curled into a smirk. “If you think we’re afraid to face his army, imagine how afraid he’ll be when he sees ours.”

You couldn’t help but to let out a genuine laugh this time around.

Hands up and fingers tingling, you prepared yourself. Your apprehension was still strong, but you have too many people counting on you the same way you were counting on them. You needed your magic, and you would be damned if it disobeyed you now.

“I wouldn’t wanna fight against us either.”

[ah17hh]

Original by u/Hey-im-right-here via /r/emojipasta

Original by u/Hey-im-right-here

Free 🆓🆓 Churro Monologue

So I stopped at a Jack in the Box 🍱🍱🍱 on 🔛🔛 the way ↕️ here 👈👈, and the girl 👶👶👶 behind the counter said, “Hiya! Are you having an awesome 👍 day?” Not, “How are you doing today?” No 😣. “Are you having an awesome 👍 day?” Which is 🈶 pretty... shitty, because it puts the onus on 🔛🔛 me to disagree with her, like 😄😄 if I’m not having an “awesome day,” suddenly I’m the negative one 1️⃣1️⃣. Usually when ⏰ people 👫👫 ask how 🤔 I’m doing, the real answer ✅ is 🈶, I’m doing shitty, but I can’t say 🗣🗣🗣 I’m doing shitty because I don’t even have 🈶🈶 a good 👌👍🏾 reason to be doing shitty. So if I say 🗣🗣🗣, “I’m doing shitty,” then they say 🗣, “Why? What’s wrong?” And I have 🈶🈶🈶 to be like 😄😄, “I don’t know 🤔, all of it?” So instead, when ⏰ people 👫👫 ask how 🤔 I’m doing, I usually say 🗣🗣, “I am doing so great 🇬🇧🇬🇧.” But when ⏰ this ⬆ girl 👶👶 at the Jack in the Box 🍱🍱 asked me if I was having an awesome 👍 day, I thought, “Well, today I’m actually allowed to feel shitty.” Today I have 🈶 a good 👌👍🏾 reason, so I said to her, “Well, My Möm died,” and she immediately burst into tears 😂😂😂. So now I have 🈶 to comfort her, which is 🈶 annoying, and meanwhile, there’s a line 〰️〰️〰️ of people 👫👫 forming behind me who 💁 are all giving me these real judgy looks because I made the Jack in the Box 🍱🍱 girl 👶👶 cry 😂😂. And she’s bawling, and saying, “I’m sorry 💔, I’m so sorry 💔💔,” and I’m like 😄, “It’s fine, it’s fine” I mean 😏, it’s not fine but, you know 🤔, it’s... fine. And I would like 😄😄 to order 📑 a Double Jack Meal 🍽, and I’ve kinda got somewhere to be, so maybe less ➖➖ with the crying 😂 and more ➕ with the frying, huh 😕? [inhales] And the girl 👶 apologizes again and she offers me a free 🆓 churro with my meal 🍽🍽. As I’m leaving, I think 🤔🤔, “I just got a free 🆓🆓 churro because my mom 👪 died.” No 😣😣😣 one 1️⃣1️⃣ ever tells you that when ⏰ your 👉 mom 👪👪 dies, you get 🉐🉐🉐 a free 🆓🆓 churro. [Clears Throat] Anyway, I’m sorry 💔💔, that’s not part of the... [Clears throat] All right 👉. Okay 👌, here 👈👈 we go. Let’s do this ⬆. Here 👈👈 I am BoJack Horseman doing an eulogy, let’s go. Beatrice Horseman, who 💁 was she? What 😅 was her deal? Well, she was a horse 🐴, Uh, she was born 🐣🐣🐣 in 1938. She died in 2018. One 1️⃣1️⃣1️⃣ time ⌚, she went to a parade, and one 1️⃣1️⃣1️⃣ time ⌚, she smoked a cigarette 🚬 in one 1️⃣1️⃣ long inhale. I watched her do it. Truly remarkable woman 👧. Lived a full 🈵🈵 life 💓, that lady 👩. Just, all the way ↕️ to the end 🔚🔚🔚, which is 🈶, uh, now, I guess. Really makes you think 🤔🤔 though, huh 😕? Life 💓, right 👉👉? Goes by, stuff happens. Then you die ⚰⚰. Okay 👌. Well, that’s my time ⌚⌚, you’ve been great 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧! Tip your 👉 waitress! No 😣😣😣, I’m just kidding around, there’s no 😣😣 waitress. But seriously, that’s all I have 🈶🈶 to say 🗣 about my mother 👪👪👪. No 😣😣😣 point 🈯 beating a dead 💀 horse 🐴🐴, right 👉? So... now what 😅? I don’t know 🤔, Mom 👪👪, you got any ideas? Anything? Mom 👪? No 😣😣? Nothing 🈚 to contribute? Knock once if you’re proud 😤😤 of me. Can I just say 🗣 how 🤔 amazing it is 🈶 to be in a room with my mother 👪👪👪, and I can just talk 🗣🗣 and talk 🗣🗣 without her telling 🗣 me to shut up ☝☝☝ and make her a drink 🍹? Hey 👋, Mom 👪👪. Knock once if you think 🤔 I should shut up ☝☝☝. No 😣😣😣? You sure? I mean 😏😏, I don’t want 😋 to embarrass you, by making this ⬆ eulogy into a me-olgy, so, seriously if you want 😋 me to sit 💺💺💺 down ⬇⬇ and let someone else talk 🗣, just knock once. I will not be offended. No 😣😣😣? Your 👉 funeral ⚰⚰. Sorry 💔💔 about the closed casket ⚰, by the way ↕️↕️. She wanted ⚠ an open 👐👐👐 casket ⚰⚰,but, you know 🤔, she’s dead 💀 now, so who 💁 cares about what 😅 she wanted ⚠. No 😣😣😣, that sounds bad 📉. I’m sorry 💔. I think 🤔 that if she could’ve seen what 😅 she looked like 😄😄 dead 💀, she’d agree 👍👍👍 it’s better this ⬆ way ↕️↕️↕️. She kinda looked like 😄😄 a pissed off dinosaur 🦖. The coroner couldn’t get 🉐🉐🉐 her eyes 🤩 closed. So, now her face 😀😀😀 is 🈶 frozen ⛄⛄ in a mass of tremendous horror and anguish. Or as my mother 👪 called it, Tuesday! Tuesday! My mom 👪👪 called it Tuesday. Hey 👋, Mom 👪, what 😅 did you think 🤔 of that joke? You like 😄😄 that? You never ❌ did care for my comedy. Here’s a story. When ⏰ I was a teenager 👦👦, I preformed a comedy routine for my high 🆙🆙 school 🎓 talent show 📺📺📺. There was this ⬆ cool 😎😎 jacket 🧥 that I wanted ⚠ to wear because I thought it would make me look 👁 like 😄😄😄 Albert Brooks. For months, I saved up ☝ for this ⬆ jacket 🧥, but when ⏰ I finally had enough, I went to the store and it was gone. They had just sold it to someone else. So, I went home 👪👪 and told my mother 👪👪👪. She said, “Let that be a lesson. That’s the good 👌👍🏾 that comes from wanting 😋 things.” She was really good 👌👍🏾 at dispensing life 💓 lessons that always 🕔 seemed to circle 🉐🉐🉐 back ⬅️ to everything being my fault. But then, on 🔛🔛 the day of the talent show 📺, my mother 👪👪 had a surprise 🤨🤨 for me. She bought me the jacket 🧥. Even though she didn’t know 🤔 how 🤔 to say 🗣🗣 it, I knew 🤔 this ⬆ meant she loved me. Now, that’s a good 👌👍🏾 story about my mother 👪👪👪. It’s not true, but it’s a good 👌👍🏾 story, right 👉👉👉? I stole it from an episode of Maude I saw when ⏰ I was a kid 👦, where 🤷 she would talk 🗣🗣 about her father 👨👨👨. I remember when ⏰ I saw it, thinking 🤔 that’s the kind of story I want 😋 to tell 🗣 about my parents 👪 when ⏰ they die ⚰⚰. But I don’t have 🈶 any stories like 😄 that. All I know 🤔 about being good 👌👍🏾 I learned from TV 📺📺. And In TV 📺📺, flawed characters 🔣🔣 are constantly showing people 👫 they care with these surprising grand gestures. And I think 🤔🤔 that part of me still believes that’s what 😅 love 😍😍 is 🈶. But in real life 💓, the big gesture 🤲🤲 isn’t enough. You need to be consistent, you need to be dependently good 👌👍🏾. You can’t just screw everything up ☝☝☝ and then take a boat ⛴ out 🏎🏍 in the ocean 🦑🦑🦑 to save 💾💾💾 your 👉 best 🏆 friend 🐶🐶🐶, or solve a mystery, and fly 🐦🐦🐦 to Kansas. You need to do it everyday, which is 🈶 so... hard. When ⏰ you’re a kid 👦, you convince yourself that maybe the grand gesture 🤲🤲🤲 could be enough. That even though your 👉 parents 👪👪 aren’t what 😅 you need them to be, over and over, and over again, at any moment, they might surprise 🤨🤨 you, with something... Wonderful. I kept waiting for that, the proof, that even though my mother 👪👪👪 was a hard woman 👧👧👧, deep down ⬇⬇, she loved me and cared about me and wanted ⚠ me to know 🤔 that i made her life 💓 a little bit brighter. Even now, I find 🔍🔍🔍 myself waiting. Hey 👋 Mom 👪, knock once if you love 😍 me and care about me, and want 😋 me to know 🤔 I made your 👉 life 💓 a little bit brighter. My mother 👪👪 did not go gentle into that good 👌👍🏾 night 😴😴. She went clawing and fighting 🥊🥊🥊 and thrashing, hence the face 😀😀😀. If you’d seen her, I swear to god the only thing you’d be thinking 🤔🤔 about right 👉👉👉 now is 🈶 that I am nailing this ⬆ impression. I was in the hospital 🚑🚑🚑 with her through those last moments, and they were truly horrific, full 🈵🈵 of nonsensical screams and cries, but there was this ⬆ moment, this ⬆ one 1️⃣ instant of strange calm, where 🤷 she looked into my direction ☝☝☝ and said, “I see 👁 you.” That was the last thing she said to me. “I see 👁 you.” Not a statement of judgement or disappointment, just acceptance and the simple recognition of another person 👤👤👤 in a room. “Hello, there. You are a person 👤👤. And I see 👁👁👁 you.” Let me tell 🗣 you, it’s a weird 😕 thing to feel at 54 years old 👴👴👴, that for the first 🥇🥇 time ⌚ in your 👉 life 💓 your 👉 mother 👪👪👪 sees you. It’s an odd realization that it’s the thing you’ve been missing, the only thing that you wanted ⚠ all along, to be seen. And it doesn’t feel like 😄 relief 😅, to finally be seen. It feels mean 😏, like 😄, “Oh, it turns out 🏎🏍 that you knew 🤔 what 😅 I wanted ⚠, and you waited until the very last moment to give it to me.” I was prepared for more ➕➕➕ cruelty. I was sure that she would get 🉐🉐 in one 1️⃣ final zinger, about how 🤔 I let her down ⬇⬇, and about how 🤔 I was fat and stupid, and too tall to be an effective Lindy-hopper. How 🤔 I was needy and a burden and an embarrassment. All that I was ready for. I was not ready for “I see 👁👁👁 you.” Only my mother 👪👪👪 would be lousy enough to swipe me with a moment of connection 📶📶📶 on 🔛🔛 her way ↕️↕️ out 🏎🏍. But maybe I’m giving her too much credit. Maybe it wasn’t about connection 📶📶. Maybe it was a.. Maybe it was a “I see 👁 you,” like 😄😄😄, “I see 👁 you.” Like 😄, “You May have 🈶🈶 the rest 😪😪😪 of the world 🌎🌎 fooled, but I know 🤔 exactly who 💁 you are.” That’s more ➕➕ my moms speed 🚅. Or maybe she just literally meant “I see 👁👁 you. You are an object that has entered my field of vision.” She was pretty out 🏎🏍 of it at the end 🔚🔚, so maybe it’s dumb to try to attribute it to anything. Back ⬅️ in the 90’s I was in a very famous TV 📺 show 📺 called “Horsin’ Around. Please 🙏🙏🙏 hold your 👉 applause 👏👏👏. And I remember one 1️⃣1️⃣ time ⌚⌚, a fan asked me, “Hey, um, you know 🤔 that episode where 🤷 the horse 🐴🐴 had to give Ethan a pep talk 🗣, after Ethan finds out 🏎🏍 his crush 😊😊 only asked him to the dance 💃 because her friends were only having a dorkiest date 👫 contest 🏆🏆🏆? In all the shots of the horse 🐴🐴🐴, you can see 👁 a paper 🖨🖨🖨 coffee ☕ cup on 🔛 the kitchen 🍯🍯 counter, but in the shots of Ethan, the coffee ☕☕ cup’s missing. Was that because the show 📺 was making a statement, about the fluctuant subjectivity of memory and how 🤔 even two ✌✌✌ people 👫👫 can experience 💯 the same moment in entirely different ways?” And I didn’t have 🈶 the heart 😍😍 to be like 😄😄, “No, man 👦👦👦, some crew guy 👦👦👦 just left 👈👈👈 their coffee ☕ cup in the shot 🥃🥃.” So, instead, I was like 😄😄... “Yeah.” And maybe this ⬆ is 🈶 like 😄😄 the coffee ☕☕ cup. Maybe, we’re dumb to try to pin significance onto every little thing. Maybe, when ⏰ someone says, “I see 👁 you,” it just means, “I see 👁👁👁 you.” Then again, it’s possible she wasn’t even taking to me. Because, if I’m honest, she wasn’t even talking to me, she was looking past me. There was nobody else in the room. So I think 🤔🤔 she was talking to me, but, honestly, she was so far gone at that point 🈯🈯, who 💁 knows 🤔 what 😅 she was seeing. Who 💁 were you talking to, Mom 👪👪? Not saying, huh 😕😕? Staying mum? No 😣 rimshot there? God, whatever I’m paying you, it’s too much. Maybe, she saw my dad 👨. My dad 👨 died about ten years ago of injuries he sustained during a duel. When ⏰ your 👉 father 👨👨👨 dies, you ask yourself a lot of questions. Questions like 😄😄😄, “Wait, did you say 🗣🗣🗣 he died in a duel?” and “Who dies in a duel?” The whole thing was so stupid. Dad 👨 spent 😵😵😵 his entire life 💓 writing 🖊 this ⬆ book 📖, but he couldn’t get 🉐🉐 any stores to carry it, or any newspapers to review it. Finally, I guess one 1️⃣ newspaper 📰📰📰 thought he was hilarious, because they wrote a review and tore him to shreds. So, my father 👨, ever the Proud 😤😤 Mary, decided he would not stand for this ⬆ besmirch ment of his honor. He claimed the critic didn’t understand what 😅 it meant to be a man 👦, so he demanded satisfaction in the form of pistols at dawn 🌇🌇🌇. He wrote the paper 🖨🖨, this ⬆ letter ✉️✉️, saying anyone who 💁 didn’t like 😄 his book 📖📖📖, he would challenge to a duel, anyone in the world 🌎. He’d even pay 💸 for airfare to San 🇸🇲 Francisco and a night 😴 in a hotel 🏨. Well, eventually this ⬆ found it’s way ↕️↕️ to some kook in Montana, who 💁 was as batshit as he was and took him up ☝ on 🔛🔛🔛 the offer. They met at Golden Gate Park and agreed: ten paces, then shoot 💫. But in the middle 🖕🖕🖕 of the ten paces, Dad 👨 turned to ask the guy 👦 if he’d actually read 🛋🛋 the book 📖 and what 😅 he thought, but, not looking where 🤷 he was going, tripped over an exposed root and basked his head 💆💆💆 on 🔛🔛🔛 a rock 🧗‍♀️. I wish 🙏🙏🙏 I’d known to go to Jack in the Box 🍱 then. I could have 🈶 gotten a free 🆓 churro. It would’ve been nice to have 🈶🈶 gotten something to show 📺 for being the son of ButterScotch Horseman. My darling mother 👪 gave the eulogy. My entire life 💓 I have 🈶 never ❌ heard her say 🗣🗣 a kind word to or about my father 👨, but at his funeral ⚰ she said, “My husband is 🈶 dead 💀💀💀, and everything is 🈶 worse now.” “My husband is 🈶 dead 💀💀💀, and everything is 🈶 worse now.” I don’t know 🤔 why 🤔 she said that. Maybe she felt that’s the kind of thing you’re supposed to say 🗣🗣🗣 at a funeral ⚰⚰⚰. Maybe she hoped one 1️⃣ day someone would say 🗣🗣🗣 that about her. “My mother 👪👪 is 🈶 dead 💀, and everything is 🈶 worse now.” Or maybe she knew 🤔 he had frittered away all her inheritance, and replaced it with crippling debt, which is 🈶 a pretty shitty thing to leave your 👉 widow with. “Bad news, you lost 🏳🏳 your 👉 husband, but don’t worry, you also lost 🏳🏳 the house 🏠!” Maybe Mom 👪👪👪 knew 🤔 she’d have 🈶 to sell all her fancy 💠 jewelry 💍 and move into a home 👪👪👪. Maybe that’s what 😅 she meant by “everything is 🈶 worse now.” Is 🈶 that what 😅 you meant, Mom 👪? You know 🤔, the first 🥇🥇 time ⌚⌚⌚ I ever preformed In front of an audience, it actually was, uh, with my Mom 👪👪👪. She used to put on 🔛🔛 these shows, with her supper club in the living room, and she used to make... she used to make me sing 🗣🗣🗣 “The Lollipop 🍭 Song” Those parties, they were really something. There were skits and magic 🎩🎩 acts, and ethnically insensitive vaudeville routines, and the big finale was always 🕔 a dance 💃 my mother 👪 did. She had this ⬆ beautiful dress 👗 that she only brought out 🏎🏍 for these parties, and she did this ⬆ incredible number. It was so beautiful and sad 😞😞😞. Dad 👨 hated the parties. He’d lock ⛓⛓ himself in the study 🔬🔬🔬, and bang on 🔛🔛🔛 the walls for us to keep it down ⬇⬇, but he always 🕔 came out 🏎🏍 to see 👁👁 mom 👪👪👪 dance 💃. He’d linger in the doorway, scotch 🥃 in hand 👍👍, and watch 👁👁 in awe, as this ⬆ cynical, despicable woman 👧 he married... Took flight 🛩🛩. And as a child 👶 who 💁 was completely terrified 😨😨 of both of my parents 👪👪, I was always 🕔 aware of this ⬆ moment of grace, it meant something. We understood each other, in a way ↕️. Me, My Mom 👪👪 and my Dad 👨, as screwed up ☝☝☝ as we all were, we did understand each other. My mother 👪, she knew 🤔 what 😅 it’s like 😄😄😄 to feel your 👉 entire life 💓 like 😄 you’re drowning with the exception of these moments.. these very rare, brief instances, in which you remember..you can swim 🐠🐠🐠. But, then again, mostly not. Mostly you’re drowning. She understood that too. And she recognized that I understood it. And Dad 👨. All three 3️⃣3️⃣3️⃣ of us were drowning, and we didn’t know 🤔 how 🤔 to save 💾 each other, but there was an understanding that we were all drowning together. I would like 😄😄 to think 🤔🤔🤔 that’s what 😅 she meant when ⏰ we were in the hospital 🚑🚑 and she said, “I see 👁👁 you.” You know 🤔 the weird 😕😕😕 thing about both your 👉 parents 👪👪 being dead 💀 is 🈶 it means you’re next ⏭. I mean 😏, you know 🤔, obviously it’s not like 😄 there’s a wait 🚏 list for dying. Any one 1️⃣1️⃣ of us could get 🉐🉐🉐 run 🏃 over by some Snap-chatting 💬💬 Teen at any moment. And you would think 🤔 knowing 🤔 that would make us adventurous, and kind, and forgiving. But it makes us small, stupid, and petty. I actually had a near death 💀💀 experience 💯, recently. A stunt went bad 📉 and I fell off of a building 🏭. I’m an actor. I do my own stunts. I’m on 🔛 this ⬆ new 🆕🆕 show 📺📺📺 Philbert. Im Philbert. Star ⭐⭐⭐ of the show 📺. It hasn’t come out 🏎🏍 yet, but it’s already getting Emmy Buzz. Oh, speaking 📢 of buzz... I’m supposed to take two ✌✌ of these every morning 🌞, but my days are so screwed up ☝☝ ‘cause of the shooting schedule 📅, I don’t even know 🤔 what 😅 morning 🌞🌞🌞 means anymore. There’s a joke in there somewhere, about a guy 👦 who’s been to so many funerals, he doesn’t even know 🤔 what 😅 mourning means anymore. Let you guys figure out 🏎🏍 that one 1️⃣1️⃣1️⃣ for yourself. Anyways, you know 🤔 what 😅 I thought.. When ⏰ I was falling off the building 🏭 and went into panic mode? The last thing that my stupid brain 🧠🧠 could come up ☝☝☝ with before I died? “Won’t they be sorry 💔💔💔.” Cool 😎😎 thought, brain 🧠. I don’t even know 🤔 what 😅 “they” I wanted ⚠ to be sorry 💔. My mom 👪, before she died, could barely remember who 💁 I was. And of course, my dads dead 💀💀. The last conversation I ever had with him was about his novel. He was so certain his book 📖 was his legacy. Maybe he thought it would vindicate him for all the shitty things he ever did in his stupid worthless life 💓. Maybe it did. I don’t know 🤔. I never ❌ read 🛋🛋 it. Because why 🤔 would I give him that? I used to be on 🔛 this ⬆ TV 📺 show 📺📺 called Horsin’ Around. Seriously though, hold your 👉 applause 👏👏👏. It was written by my friend 🐶, Herb 🌿🌿 Kazzaz, whos also dead 💀💀 now, and it starred this ⬆ little girl 👶👶👶 named Sarah Lynn. And it was about these orphans. And early 🕐🕐 on 🔛🔛, the network had a note 🔣, “Maybe don’t mention they’re orphans so much, because audiences tend to find 🔍 orphans sad 😞😞 and not relatable.” But I never ❌ thought the orphans were sad 😞😞. I always 🕔 thought they were lucky 🤞 because they could imagine their parents 👪 to be anything they wanted ⚠. They had something to long for. Anyway, we did this ⬆ one 1️⃣1️⃣ season ❄️❄️❄️ finale, where 🤷 Olivias birth mother 👪👪👪 comes to town. And she was a junkie, but she’s gotten herself cleaned up ☝☝, and she wants to be in Olivias life 💓 again. And of course, she’s like 😄😄😄 the perfect 👌 grown-up ☝ version of Olivia, and they go to the mall 🏬🏬 together and get 🉐🉐 her ears pierced like 😄 she’s always 🕔 wanted ⚠ and — Sorry 💔, spoiler alert 🚨🚨 for season ❄️ six 6️⃣6️⃣6️⃣ finale of Horsin’ Around, if you’re still working 🏗🏗🏗 your 👉 way ↕️↕️↕️ through it. Anyway, the horse 🐴🐴🐴 tried to warn her, “Be careful, moms have 🈶 a way ↕️↕️ of letting you down ⬇⬇.” But Olivia just thinks the horse 🐴 is 🈶 jealous, and when ⏰ the mom 👪 says she’s moving 📦📦 to California, Olivia decides to go with her. And the network really juiced the cliffhanger: “Is Olivia gone for good 👌👍🏾?” But of course, because it’s a TV 📺📺📺 show 📺📺, she was not gone for good 👌👍🏾. Of course, because it’s a TV 📺📺 show 📺📺 Olivias Mother 👪 has a relapse and had to go back ⬅️⬅️ into rehab, so Olivia has to hitchhike all the way ↕️↕️ home 👪, getting rides from from Mr 🇲🇷. T, Alf, and the cast of Stomp. Of course that’s what 😅 happened. Because, what 😅 are you gonna do, just not have 🈶 Olivia on 🔛 the show 📺? You can’t have 🈶🈶🈶 happy 😀😀 endings on 🔛🔛 sitcoms, not really, because, if everyone’s happy 😀, the show 📺 would be over, and above 🆙 all else, the show 📺... Has to keep going. There’s always 🕔 more ➕➕ show 📺📺📺. And you can call Horsin’ Around dumb, or bad 📉, or unrealistic, but there’s nothing 🈚🈚 more ➕➕➕ realistic than that. You never ❌ get 🉐 a happy 😀😀 ending, ‘cause there’s always 🕔 more ➕➕ show 📺. I guess until there isn’t. My mom 👪👪 would hate 😡😡😡 it if she knew 🤔 that I spent 😵😵 so much time ⌚ at her funeral ⚰⚰ talking about my old 👴👴👴 TV 📺 show 📺. Or maybe she’d think 🤔🤔🤔 it was funny 😃😃 that her idiot 😜 son couldn’t even do this ⬆ right 👉, who 💁 knows 🤔? She left 👈 no 😣😣😣 instructions for what 😅 she wanted ⚠ me to say 🗣🗣. All I know 🤔 is 🈶 she wanted ⚠ an open 👐👐👐 casket ⚰, and her idiot 😜 son couldn’t even do that right 👉👉. I’m not gonna stand up ☝☝ here 👈👈 and pretend I ever understood how 🤔 to please 🙏🙏🙏 that woman 👧, even though so much of my life 💓 has been wasted in vain attempts to figure it out 🏎🏍. But I keep going back ⬅️⬅️⬅️ to that moment in the ICU when ⏰ she looked at me and,...” I-C-U 👉.” “I..See 👁👁👁...You..” Jesus ✝️ Christ ⛪⛪, we were in the Intensive Care Unit. She was just reading a sign ⛎⛎⛎. My mom 👪👪👪 died and all I got was a free 🆓 Churro. You know 🤔 the shittiest thing about all of this ⬆? Is 🈶 when ⏰ that stranger behind the counter gave me that free 🆓🆓🆓 churro, that small act of kindness showed more ➕ compassion than my mother 👪👪 gave me her entire goddamn life 💓. Like 😄😄😄, how 🤔 hard is 🈶 it to do something nice for a person 👤? This ⬆ woman 👧 at the Jack in the Box 🍱 didn’t even know 🤔 me. I’m your 👉 son. All I had was you! I have 🈶🈶🈶 this ⬆ friend 🐶🐶🐶. And right 👉 around when ⏰ I first 🥇 met her, her dad 👨👨 died, and I actually went with her to the funeral ⚰. And months later, she told me that she didn’t understand why 🤔 she was still upset 😞😞😞, because she never ❌ even liked her father 👨👨. It made sense to me, because I went through the same thing when ⏰ my dad 👨👨 died. And I’m going through that same thing now. You know 🤔 what 😅 it’s like 😄? It’s like 😄😄😄 the show 📺 Becker, you know 🤔, with Ted Danson? I watched the entire run 🏃 of it, hoping that it would get 🉐🉐 better, and it never ❌ did. It had all the right 👉👉👉 pieces, but it just— It couldn’t put them together. And when ⏰ it got canceled, I was really bummed out 🏎🏍, not because I liked the show 📺📺, but because I knew 🤔 it could be so much better, and now it never ❌ would be. And that’s what 😅 losing 🏳🏳🏳 a parent 👩‍👦👩‍👦👩‍👦 is 🈶 like 😄😄😄. It’s like 😄😄 Becker. Suddenly, you realize you’ll never ❌ have 🈶🈶 the good 👌👍🏾 relationship you wanted ⚠, as long as they were alive, even though you’ll never ❌ admit it, part of you, the stupidest goddamn part of you, was still holding onto that chance. And you didn’t realize it until that chance went away. “My mother 👪 is 🈶 dead 💀, and everything is 🈶 worse now.” Because now I know 🤔 I will never ❌ have 🈶🈶🈶 a mother 👪 who 💁 looks at me from across the room and says, “BoJack Horseman, I see 👁 you.” But I guess it’s good 👌👍🏾 to know 🤔. It’s good 👌👍🏾 to know 🤔, that there is 🈶 nobody looking out 🏎🏍 for me, that there never ❌ was, and there never ❌ will be. No 😣, it’s good 👌👍🏾 to know 🤔 that I am the only one 1️⃣1️⃣1️⃣ I can depend on 🔛. And I know 🤔 that now and it’s good 👌👍🏾. It’s good 👌👍🏾 that I know 🤔 that. So.. it’s good 👌👍🏾 my mother 👪👪 is 🈶 dead 💀. Well, no 😣 point 🈯 in beating a dead 💀💀 horse 🐴🐴🐴. Beatrice Horseman was born 🐣 in 1938, and she died in 2018, and I have 🈶 no 😣😣😣 idea 💡.. What 😅 she wanted ⚠. Unless she just wanted ⚠ what 😅 we all wanted ⚠.. to be seen.

Submitted March 08, 2020 at 10:22AM by Woman_Eater_ via reddit https://ift.tt/2TzhCFY

[miss-cinereo]

my thoughts on good omen ep. 1, written as I watched it

starts off well with god being a woman and Eve and Adam being black

aziraphale giving his sword to Adam!! and being embarrassed to tell Crowley but still telling him because he wants assurance I'm!!!

I'm 5 min into the first episode and this is already my favourite thing

how did they not know each other's names a minute ago but they're already sharing secrets, joking, and shielding each other from the weather

THE INTRO SEQUENCE!! the music! the paper cutout style! death on his horse! the fucking guillotine someone's carrying with them!

I'm less familiar with Gaiman's writing but I def recognise some delightful Pratchett vibes in this

these other demons taking things so seriously is fucking hilarious to me for some reason

ah, of course, never forget the paperwork

lmao that is a chaotic gay walk if I ever saw one

I mean sure I love demons and sassy bitches but aziraphale litterally shows up on screen and I squeal... he is so precious

(his completely nonplussed "it's sushi" says so much about how he too has been affected by living on earth without being as blunt as "he's been up here for too long" about Crowley)

I don't like Gabriel

there are going to be a lot of jokes about angels and miracles isn't there?

these satanic nuns are going to fuck up the baby exchange won't they??

lmao I wrote satanic nuns like 2 seconds before she said it

wow what a useless man "good luck" is not what you tell your wife as she's about to give birth to your child.

"baby A, baby B, and the Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Prince of This World and Lord of Darkness" is such a good joke and I hope they run with it for a while

"a regular Y-chromosomed boy" wow this fucker would absolutely deserve to be handed the antichrist instead of his own kid. jackass.

ah what a wonderful mess of miscommunication and coincidence

LMAO who tf agrees to name their child WARLOCK when they even had a name fucking planned out?????? poor kid

and the Adversary, Destroyer of Kings and whatever else there was is landed with Adam because of course he was

fucked yourself over shutting down all those phonelines did you crowley?

also, his reaction to basically starting armageddon is swearing a bit before calling his boyfriend.. that's cute

Aziraphale's face when Crowley starts mocking him about all good classical composers being in hell is fucking amazing

((is it actually called gravlax in English?? another nordic dish to be proud of?))

them not knowing if the reign of terror was heaven or hell says a lot about both places tbh

"this is purely social" so.. hanging out (which they've clearly been doing for centuries at least) is fine, but actually cooperating is a no no? or is stopping armageddon a no no? which part is the issue here aziraphale?

the family went home after only 24 hours? I don't know a lot about childbirth but that seems way soon

trying to pronounce french words before giving up and saying it in english is,,, relatable

okay, disobedience was the issue (should have known, he is an angel) but yeah he's hardly been a puritan so far so....

wow I wish it was that easy to sober up for humans

Crowley is pretty decent at this demon, tempting/manipulating business isn't he?

wow agreement immediately followed by flirting huh? is that what we're doing

what the fuck is that lullaby

ohh, crowley going down into that mirror image was cool!

I don't like Gabriel

"don't lick the walls" ???

an 11yo who thinks he's too cool for dinosaurs is like the least relatable person ever

Crowley trying to hint at murder and aziraphale just. not. getting. it. is brilliant

poor aziraphale, no one appreciates his magic tricks ):

poor them, realising they've spent a decade with the wrong kid and probably fucked everything up..

dog is a great name, and the lovely description of what kind of dog he wanted let the hell hound know exactly what it should be. how practical

also, "the sort of growl that starts in the back of one throat and ends up deep in someone else's" is a very good line

"somethings changed" "its a new cologne" "not you, I know what you smell like" - gayyy

holy shit this is very good! (Im probably going to keep doing posts like this cause I have to express my thoughts but I don't wanna spam people with them)

[julia-highstorms]

Play My Game (Tom x F!MC)

Author’s note: after latest ILB chapter, I needed something light and fun, so here we are! I imagine Tom and Julia as the most competitive couple ever and these two goofs are constantly competing over the most stupid things lol

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Pixelberry Studios.

Song: Play My Game - The Donnas

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Tom x F!MC (Julia Vance)

Word count: +2200

I almost broke my highest score

When you walked through that door

I lost my game and you're to blame

I could have been in the hall of fame

“Nooooo!”

“YES!”

Tom laughs maniacally as his Toad passes through a dizzy Yoshi, Julia’s avatar, after throwing a banana at her.

As soon as the green dinosaur stops spinning, the girl presses hard on the button, speeding up towards the finish line.

“Ugh I hate this fucking stupid rainbow road!”

Tom just keeps laughing beside her, his avatar easily gaining on the other competitors. Soon, Julia’s character shows up close to his.

It’s the final turn. The others are long behind. It’s only the two of them now.

She has to do something.

Suddenly, the girl throws the Wii control aside.

“What are you do—” - but Tom is interrupted when his girlfriend almost literally jumps on him, her hands in claws, ready to tickle him. - “STOP. I know what you’re trying to do!” - he says falling on his back, Julia landing on top of him, as he grabs her wrists with both of his hands, avoiding the tickling attack. - “I don’t fall for this anymore!”

“Are you sure?” - she smirks devilishly at him before showering his neck with kisses. Tom burst out in giggles, squirming beneath her. The girl’s fully aware how sensitive her boyfriend is, especially on his neck area.

Taking advantage of the situation, Julia pulls out and finishes the running while Tom still recovers from her attack.

“HA! First place!” - she makes a little dance of victory and Tom lets out a low curse.

“Hey, this wasn’t fair!” - his face still is all flushed.

“You’re such a sore loser, Sato.”

“How can I be a sore loser when you cheated?!”

“This is exactly what a sore loser would say!”

“Oh my God, you’re impossi—”

“I’m going out, kids.” - they are interrupted by Elliot as the boy crosses the living room and opens the front door of the old cabin, used to those two bantering.

“Where are you going?” - his sister promptly asks, forgetting the bickering.

“I’m going to meet Robbie. We’re going to the movies.”

“Okay, call me if you need anything! I can pick you up later—”

“Julia, it’s fine. Don’t worry about me. There are no more crazy cultists after my blood and mad grandma is gone. I’ll text you, don’t worry. You two have fun!” - and he leaves the house.

“When did he grow up so suddenly?” - she murmurs with tears in her eyes, but she soon recomposes herself. - “Anyway, where were we? Oh, right, I just defeated the unbeatable Tomoichi Sato on his favorite video game.”

“You won unfairly.” - he corrects her, but she just rolls her eyes and steps closer, throwing her arms around his neck.

“Well, what’s done is done.” - she states, her face now just inches from his. - “You know, we have the house all for ourselves—”

But before she can kiss him, Tom frees himself from her embrace and stays an arm long from her.

“I’m sorry, but cheaters aren’t allowed to get any of this.” - he points to himself and Julia groans in discontent. - “I claim for a rematch.” - and a devilishly smile spreads on his face.

Let's play ball we don't need a court

Just you and me baby full contact sport

And there's no ref to tell us to stop

So we can play until we drop

“Okay, this is unfair.”

“Why? You agreed on a rematch.” - Tom says, adjusting his glasses, that sly smirk still on his face.

“Yeah, because I thought we were going to play one of your video games again, like Street Fighter or whatever. Not that we were going to do this.” - his girlfriend explains, pointing to where they are and to the orange ball he holds. They’re standing in the middle of an empty basketball court in Swan Park. It’s a pretty sunny day and some people jog around and kids’ laughter can be heard from the playground area. - “You were part of a basketball team during your high school. This isn’t fair.”

“I just played it regularly for like, three years. And I spent one of it on the bleachers.”

“I spend my whole life on the bleachers, Tom.” - he chuckles.

“This will teach you to think twice before tickling or distracting me from my game.” - Julia grunts and they both start stretching out, their eyes locked on each other’s, defiant looks on their faces.

“So, who wins?”

“The one who gets more points, obviously. And just because you’re not used to playing it, don’t think I’m going to make it easy for you. Not after that betrayal.”

“Just shut up and let’s get this started already.”

“Guess you can defeat me?”

She smirks back at him.

“Oh, you’re on!”

After 15 minutes, they’re both panting, their eyes locked, carefully watching each other’s next movement. Tom’s winning, but Julia’s proven to be a great adversary, and she’s not too much far behind him.

“You’re not so bad like you said you are, Vance.” - he says, with the ball spinning on his point finger.

She gives him a sly smirk.

“Maybe beginner’s luck is by my side today.”

“Not for long!”

The game starts again. Tom races toward the basket, skilfully kicking the ball on the floor. She sprints closer, trying to grab the ball, but he’s dodges right on time. He flawlessly shoots the ball through the hoop.

“Damn your stupid... long arms!” - Julia curses, still a bit out of breath because of all that exercise, making her boyfriend giggle. They’ve never felt those 8 inches/20 centimetres height difference between them as much as now. - “What are you doing?!” - she asks as her boyfriend takes off his t-shirt.

“I am hot!”

“I hate you. I hate you so much.” - and mostly she hates how much she enjoys that view.

“Why? Am I too distracting to you, Vance?” - Tom smirks slyly, fully aware of what his bare chest does to her.

“You’re so dead, Sato.”

And without warning, she takes the ball and cross the court running. But soon Tom’s already hovering over her, trying to block her shoot. She can feel his chest bumping on her back as he tries to get the ball from hers.

“This was your plan all along, wasn’t it? Picking a full contact sport and taking off your shirt. Who’s playing dirty now, uh?”

“Well, now you know how I feel when you tickle me! Or when you start with all those damn kisses!”

“You love those kisses!”

“Oh, crap!” - Tom curses as Julia takes advantage of her short height, easily ducking underneath his arms and shooting the ball through the hoop. Another point. - “This was a good one.”

Tom’s about to go retrieve the ball, but Julia suddenly pulls him in. It’s all so fast and intense, and she’s far stronger than she looks, and the boy ends up losing his balance.

“Ouch.” -  Tom complains when his back hits the floor, with Julia clinging onto him, showering his neck with those kisses that make his head spin.

The game is already forgotten and he kisses his demanding petite girlfriend back, his arms around her waist, flushing her closer to his chest.

“I’m not gonna apologise for this.” - she stops for a quick second, cupping his face between her hands.

“I know. ” - he grins back at her. And that’s true. He already was half expecting it. That she would in some way turn his game against him, again. And he would end up falling for it, again. He always did. And to be honest, he just pretended to be mad at her. He actually enjoyed it more than he should. - “Although this is the second time you attack me just today. And I hit my back.” - she lets out a mischievous giggle.

“Tom… No… more… games...” - Julia says between pecks on his lips, hovering over him.

“Okay, I guess that’s... enough for today.”

She grins mischievously and leans down, kissing him fully. The kiss gets heated in no time, his hands on her hips, hers on his hair, their hearts beating fast and their breaths quickening…

“Hey, this is a public area! Go find a room!” - they’re suddenly interrupted by a known voice nearby.

They immediately stop kissing and look over to where the sound of whistles and cheers come from, to find their friends there, on the other side of the court’s fence.

“Woo you go, you two!” - Imogen jumps up and down, while Parker chuckles and Danni shakes her head disapprovingly at them. Tom and Julia immediately pull apart, faces flushed.

“Parker, can’t you arrest them for, like, excess of PDA?” - Danni turns to the police officer standing beside her. - “I’m pretty sure this is indecent behavior.”

“Well, they haven’t done anything too explicit yet… and they’re just making out and are in love. Let them live, Danni.”

“I am a hundred percent sure I saw a boob grab.”

Imogen and Parker laugh loudly as the couple stands up and walks toward them.

“Uh, hey, guys! What are you doing here?” - Tom asks, his face burning with embarrassment. He’s already put his t-shirt back on.

“I was taking pictures as usual when these two showed up.”

“Today’s my day off and I like helping the Boy Scouts whenever I can.” - Parker smiles proudly.

“Well… I’ve met with a lawyer earlier today and my head was so full of everything that I needed a bit of fresh air.” - they all smile to Imogen. She surely was the one who suffered the most with all that hell that happened a few weeks ago, losing her best friend, her horse and her parents. Naturally, she inherited all her parents possessions and properties and was having to deal with the legal part of it. - “And today’s such a beautiful day, so I came in here and bumped into Parker and Danni. I was just telling them about this new restaurant that opened nearby when we heard your shouting.”

“That was a pretty intense game, guys. Well played. I didn’t know you played, Julia.”

“I don’t, but someone...” - Julia answers Parker, playfully bumping her shoulder with Tom’s. - “...is a sore loser so we were having a rematch.”

“I’m not a sore loser when you cheated to begin with!”

“So, will you come have lunch with us or what?” - Danni interrupts before they start bickering at each other again. - “I’m starving.”

They both immediately decide to go with them.

“Yay! Follow me!” - Imogen squeals and the group walks together in a relaxed pace, enjoying the shadow of the trees. - “The restaurant is right in front of the park entrance! You’ll love it! They have these killer fries and this pink lemonade—”

“Wait, wait, will we be able to pay it?”

“Of course you will! I don’t eat only on fancy restaurants, you know!” - Imogen chuckles. - “And I can pay your part if you don’t have enough money, Danni.”

“I wouldn’t accept it, but thanks, Genny.”

“Nonsense, we’re friends!”

“Anyway, my wallet thanks knowing that I can pay it.”

“Seconded.” - Parker agrees.

“Thirded.”

“Fourthed.” - Tom and Julia say. He looks down at his girlfriend with a grin, her hand interlacing with his, while he carries the ball on his other arm. They walk a bit behind. - “Guess we’ll have to put our rematch on hold.”

“‘On hold’? I clearly won. Again.” - she smirks. - “Just accept this, Sato: I won, you lost.”

"I guess you hit your head when we fell because I was winning. But what do you say we solve this next? This still isn’t over, Vance.” 

“You’re insufferable. Lucky you that you’re so darn cute and I love you.” - and she kisses his cheek, whose grin widens. - “Hey… do you want any help packing up your things tomorrow?”

The boy feels his heart shattering a little. The summer is almost over and he’s moving out of Pine Springs the next day now that all that supernatural weird stuff is gone. And he wants to spend every moment he has with Julia. And this is why they’ve been hanging out daily with each other for the past weeks, because they already miss each other. And this is why he likes teasing her to keep with that stupid playful competition between them. Because they know they’ll be months apart until they can see each other again.

“Yeah, that’d be nice. Thanks.”

“No problem.” - she smiles warmly at him, squeezing his hand tighter as they enter the restaurant. - “...But I’ll pick what we’re going to play next.”

“Okay, and what will it be?”

“Strip poker.” - she whispers on his ear and watches with satisfaction her boyfriend’s face turning a shade pinker. She bit back a laugh. - “I’m joking. I don’t even know how to play poker.”

“Oh. Okay. Good.” - he immediately seems more relaxed. - “Can you imagine? What if Elliot came back home right in the middle of the game and found ourselves in our underwear there? I guess I would die of embarrassment.”

“Haha, Elliot would probably just ignore us but lock me out of our room.” - Julia laughs as Danni yells at them:

“Hey couple! If you don’t hurry up there’ll be no seats left for your pretty asses!”

“Jeez, so bossy! We’re coming!” - she yells back before turning to her boyfriend again: - “We’ll continue this later, Sato. And you’ll play my game.”

“I can’t wait.” - he kisses her temple and they join their friends.

Well you can play my game

But I’ll put you to shame

Tagging @littlecrookedheart @pixelburied @mysticgayralsei @breaumonts @christopher-powell @madhattterusagi @noahpologiste @samira-yazdi @mysteli @indiacater @indescribablechoices @emomoustache @choices-fanatic @edgydepressedchoicesthot @violarobics @withoutanyconfidence @tiz-rex @priya-trash @alicegma @thequeenchoices @srta-give-me-my-jax-rl

[bohrapbachelorette-blog]

Borhap Bachelorette (Part 1)

Word Count: 2,156

Prompt: This is a Borhap boys x reader Bachelorette AU. 

A/N: This was written by @ @wewillfarrokhyou @anuknowha @tooweirdtolivetoogaytodie @freddiesstache  @queen-in-funerland @fatbottomedgwil 

We hope you like it! Also be sure to vote for who gets the first impression rose.

Taglist: @bitemerog @mr-stank-i-dont-feel-so-dank and @rogerinatrash @roger-bang-the-drum (who signal boosted my original post) Message me to be added to the list/follow this blog)

You had just arrived in front of the mansion. You were extremely nervous about being the star of The Bachelorette - you didn’t have too much experience dating before, and being on this show was supposed to be a chance for you to find love. What could you say? You were a true romantic at heart. You were dressed in your best gown, your makeup and hair done by the specialist, and now you sat waiting. You hadn’t met the guys yet, but they were due to arrive in the limo any second.

Chris Harrison came from inside the house and approached you.

“Hello, (y/n), how are you feeling?” He said, with his T.V. smile on.

“Hi Chris! I'm excited, but also quite nervous. Just really hoping to find the love of my life. I know I’m ready,” you smiled brightly and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. Just then, the limo started to roll into the driveway and you heart began to race.

“Here we go...” you muttered to yourself.

A tall man with gorgeous cheekbones and a straight jawline got out of the limo and walks towards you, holding a pitch black acoustic guitar. Fender, you assumed - you weren't really knowledgeable about guitars. He had clear blue eyes and chestnut brown hair, with perfectly arranged facial hair. He started singing “You’re My Best Friend” as he walked towards you.

“Ooh you make me live, whatever this world can give to me...” As he was singing, people on the sides threw polaroids at you. You caught one - they were all pictures of him in various cute, Instagram-worthy poses. “Ooh you’re all I see..” you were laughing at how silly and sweet it was.

“Hello love, I’m Gwilym Lee. Lovely to meet you.” He says, taking your hand and giving it a kiss.

“That was a wonderful entrance,” you laugh, and he takes a bow.

He walked past you and into the mansion. He seemed like a genuinely sweet guy and you were excited to see who else was going to come.

Out of nowhere, the song “Boss Ass Bitch” began to play. You were incredibly confused until from around the corner you spotted a giant dinosaur dancing its way toward you. You burst out laughing at the ridiculous sight, your hand coming up to cover your mouth.

“Oh my god!” You yelled out, watching the dinosaur shake its hips.

The dino got on its knees and presented you with a rose. He unzipped the top part of the costume, showing ginger hair and bright smile. He roared and you laughed again.

“I’m Joe, Joe Mazzello,” he exclaimed. You took the rose out of his hand.

“Well, you certainly put on a show,” you said, highly amused.

“It’s all in the hips,” he joked.

He smiled and walked past you. You could already tell that Joe was going to be a lot of fun. He had a great sense of humour from the way you nearly cried laughing at his dinosaur dance. You wondered who was going to enter next.

“Remember the Time” by Michael Jackson began to play as a man in full egyptian clothing came out of a limo dressed like a pharaoh. He had tan skin and big blue eyes and his whole look gave a grandiose appearance.

“Hello, your highness,” you bowed at his costume.

“Well I was in Night at the Museum, so I couldn’t resist. I’m Rami Malek,” he beamed, holding out his hand.

“(Y/n),” you grinned, taking his firm handshake.

“I look forward to getting to know you,” he smiled as he walked behind you.

You were impressed by his kingly appearance and beautiful features. Night at the Museum? I only remember Ben Stiller... Who is he?, you thought to yourself. Only one more guy was left to join all of you in the bachelorette house. What kind of a person would he be?

Right on schedule, another limo appeared. It was loudly blaring — “I’m too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt…” The back half of the baby blue limo was a hot tub with an admittedly very cute blond sitting in it, shirtless, arms draped around the sides. His curly blond hair and chiseled abs were almost too much.

“Hey, baby. Care to join me?” His accent made you weak at the knees.

“Ah...I'm good, thanks.” You blushed and gave him a small smile.

“Oh. Um. Okay.” His pecs twitched almost nervously. Confused, he looked down, but it happened again and you started giggling uncontrollably.

“What was that?” Joe asked.

“What was wh-” the blond started, but it happened again. You and the other boys doubled over in laughter.

“I -” Hot Tub Man turned beet red and lifted himself out of the tub, wrapping a towel around his torso. A small laugh also escaped him. “I'm Ben Hardy. Nice to meet you.” Ben said as he walked over to you. He went to hug you but backed up a little when he realized that he was soaking wet. You muttered a quiet, “sorry” to him.

“I’ll save it for later,” he said, maintaining a suave composure as he walked to the mansion to dry further.

That was it. All the guys had already introduced themselves and made quite the impression on you. From the sweet romantic Gwil, to the funny and charming Joe, the royal Rami, and the gorgeous Ben. It was going to be a hard choice to see who gets the final rose. You just hope that the interviews help make it easier.

The guys were all drinking in the lounge of the mansion when you walked in. Chris Harrison walked to the front of the room.

“Well, this is it, enjoy your first night!” he said as he walked away.

All four guys were staring at you. You couldn’t help but to blush.

This was your time to play coy - you wanted them to believe there were things about them that you didn’t know. You wanted them to be completely honest and after you’d seen them on the set of Bohemian Rhapsody together you knew exactly how they would act both on and off set. Even while they were there, you’d watch them on social media and their interviews when they weren't with each other. Hell, you even knew their favorite foods but you wanted to hear it “straight from the horse’s mouth”, as they say. You knew that this was going to be fun, and you just had to let it play out right. You just had to be careful and pretend to be unaware of these guys and their pastimes.

Rami trailed off first. “Ms. (y/n), I’m not sure if you like cats, but I am severely allergic. Thought I’d let you know beforehand.” He grinned.

“Well, I’m a model!” Gwilym stated.

“We’re all models.” the other three sighed in unison.

Ben seemed to keep his eyes on you, making you a little uneasy.

“Your eyes are absolutely gorgeous Y/N. Look at how soft they are and how the light in this lounge absolutely twinkles off of them.”

It took a moment for you to process the information and once your brain finished establishing his words, you had time to notice that he had a shirt on.

“Oh, oh you’re Ben right?”

He held his hand out as the other three watched him and slowly looked over at you as you shook it.

“Great, now she’s going to like you more, and after I dressed like the best thing since sliced bread. I. Feel. Betrayed. Ben.” Joe huffed as he puffed out his cheeks and crossed his arms.

A small smirk appeared on the blonde’s face. He felt confident that he was the first one who made physical contact with you since you guys entered the mansion. His grip was firm but gentle, he wasn’t using too much force and but you could tell he didn’t seem to want to let you go. But he did.

“I love dinosaurs and the prehistoric age, I love history-” Joe stuttered to try to catch your attention.

“Is that what you majored in college, Joe?” You glanced over at him with a smile.

“Actually, I went to college for the cinematic arts, I wanted to make my experience on the big screen.” He grinned, his hands held in front of his face, and he slowly spread them apart as if he was making some kind of invisible rainbow. Almost as if he were about to do jazz hands.

“Well, I’m British darling, have you ever dated a man from another country?” Ben hummed.

“Not yet, but I’m still available,” Gwilym laughed.

Ben sent a glance over at him, one of slight disgust as he squinted his eyes.

You tried to contain your laughter but it was hard, you could tell you were in the room with a bunch of goofballs but you didn’t hate it- in fact, it made them each stand out, it was cute.

Rami caught your attention as he was sitting there, his eyes fixated on something else.

“Something wrong?” You questioned.

“Hmm?” He looked over at you, a bit embarrassed, as if you caught him doing something wrong.

“Nothing. I was just thinking about how beautiful you are,” A small smile formed on his face.

“Don’t mind him, he’s even like this in interviews,” Gwilym said.

“He’s been like this on our dates too,” Joe tried to whisper so Rami couldn’t hear.

“I hope you know, I did hear you, and I do pay attention, just not to your existence or your-” Rami paused and put his hand to his mouth pretending to cough. “Cold.  Isn’t that right, John?”

The room got silent for a second as Joe sent Rami a death stare. But his only response was to return it with a sly smirk.

Soon enough Joe tackled Rami off the couch and was playfully pulling at his suit as the other two burst out into laughter.

You laughed too and watched them all turn to you, momentarily stopping the fight.

Joe’s face lit up some, “Guys, she’s laughing at me. I’m funny.”

“Funny to look at…” Rami whispers.

This time, Joe playfully hit him in the arm and got off of him. And they all tried to gain back their composure. Rami fixed his jacket and straightened his tie.

You were still laughing, but soon tried to gather yourself as well. They were all smiling, you could tell that they were enjoying this talk with you.

“Weird that you’re allergic to cats but here you are playing Freddie Mercury, and being all lovey dovey with the creatures. You love them more than you love us,” said Joe.

“Not true,” Rami said with a small frown. “Not my fault that I was hot enough to play the leader.”

“But bloody hell, I was Roger and everyone loves a sexy drummer,” Ben grinned.

Gwilym let out a small chuckle. “Especially Joe.”

Joe blushed and lifted his white dress shirt to cover his face in embarrassment.

Gwilym turned to you and smirked. “Should I tell her that Joe has a cardboard cutout of Ben?”

You eyes floated over to Joe as he continued to stay flustered and quiet. “Is this true Joe…?” you pondered.

Joe tried not to answer for what seemed like an eternity. Soon he pulled the shirt down and replied with a mumbled “Yes.”

“How do you feel about this, Ben?” you felt a little weirded out but you wanted to find out exactly what was going on.

“I feel honored actually,” he laughed. “He only did it because I was never there for them. They were always touring but I had to go, other things to do.”

You looked at him and than your eyes grew slightly worried. “Does that mean that you won’t be here for me?”

The other three turned to look at Ben, all with faces of questioning.

“N-no of course not!!” Ben stuttered. He seemed surprised that he told on himself, even though you already knew.

“Um, (y/n), could I steal you for a second?” Rami asked, breaking the slight tension in the room and taking his chance to get some alone time with you.

“Not on my watch,” Gwil said pushing him to the side as he grabbed his guitar. “Well, you are a big Queen fan, mind if I play something?” he looked at you so earnestly that you decided to nod.

You all started singing Somebody to Love together, each of you pitching in with different verses. You started to feel at home with these boys. Chris Harrison was surprised when he walked back in to see you all together - the guys were generally more possessive over the bachelorette.

“Well, (y/n), it’s the end of the night. It’s time to give the out the first impression rose. Who will it be?”

                                           ..............................

Who do you think made the best first impression, and who would you give the rose to? Vote here: https://doodle.com/poll/3zupusvkkyepfarn

[hysterialevi]

When the Devil Cries pt. 4

Author’s note: I know I’ve said this already, but thank you so much for reading this story. I wasn’t really sure how this fanfic would go at first, but you guys have been very supportive since part one, and I really appreciate it. Hope you enjoy this part as well :)

From Arthur’s POV

OUTSIDE LEMOYNE NATIONAL BANK

Pacing to the other end of town, Dutch and I slithered our way through the groups of lawmen patrolling around Saint Denis as we hurried to find Hosea at the bank, keeping a low profile and eager to get back to camp.

At this point, the city was entirely awake, and all around us, we could see both men and women calling out to passersby as they advertised their merchandise, campaigns, charities, and more. It was quite the sight. Sure weren’t like anythin’ I’d ever seen.

We had already come across some rich fool by the side of the road who was hollerin’ at people to buy his book that would apparently lead folks to instant success, as well as some waste of space claimin’ that the white race was the only “correct” one, and that the blacks and Indians were nothing but animals. It was science, he said. 

Well, last time I checked, “science” was the same thing trying to turn cannons and bicycles with balloons into forms of transportation. So that didn’t exactly count for much in my book.

On a more pleasant note though, I did also see a woman standing outside City Hall advocating for women’s right to vote. It wasn’t something I could see happening anytime soon, and her ideas of a female president within the next ten years seemed a bit far off, but there weren’t no shame in searching for a better world. I only hoped she had some sort of protection out there in the open. Not everyone was taking her proposals kindly.

As for Dutch -- well, ever since the man found me about an hour ago, he had been chewing my ear off about his plan to pick Saint Denis clean of its money before packin’ our bags and heading off to Tahiti or some place. 

I wasn’t quite sure how that would work exactly, and if I was being perfectly honest, the west sounded like a much better area to lie low, but...I wasn’t really thinkin’ about any of that anyway.

The only thing on my mind at the moment...was Edward.

I couldn’t get that melody he played out of my head, and the man himself wasn’t easy to forget either. 

I didn’t know why, but somethin’ about that boy just stuck with me. His words, his personality, his music...it preoccupied me completely. It almost felt like I was still sittin’ there by his piano.

Despite my pleasant thoughts about him though, I couldn’t deny I was a bit concerned about Dutch’s plans to rob the theater. I mean, I knew there was probably hundreds of dollars sittin’ in there and Edward and I were barely acquaintances, but it still seemed...I dunno, wrong to go behind his back like that. Especially right after doing a favor for him.

But I supposed that was the life of an outlaw. I could never truly befriend honest folk, or get along with them. I could only lie to ‘em.

“Hosea, old man!” Dutch called out suddenly, bringing my attention back to reality.

Hosea was sitting on a bench not too far away from the bank with a newspaper in his hands -- more as a mask than actual reading material -- and waved at us as we approached him, keeping our voices low.

“Ah, Dutch, Arthur,” he greeted, folding the newspaper. “There you are. How did you fellas get along?”

Dutch leaned against a nearby street lamp and crossed his arms. “Arthur here thinks he might be onto somethin’ about an upcoming gala. Heard some woman in the Bastille rambling on about it...and I’ve got a few ideas of my own on that theater as well. What about you? How’s the bank looking?”

Hosea rose to his feet. “Pretty much what you’d expect. Lots of money, and even more security to protect it. It also happens to be in the middle of the city. So if we’re gonna hit it, Dutch, we’ll need every gun we have. But if we can pull it off right, I guarantee it’ll be worth it. The vault’s got thousands of bucks just waitin’ in it. Enough to get us out of here.”

The other man nodded in contemplation. “Alright, then. Well, let’s head back to camp...and I’ll tell you all about this theater once we get there. I really think this could be quite the opportunity for us, but we don’t have too long to plan for it, so we need to move fast. C’mon.”

SHADY BELLE

DUTCH’S OFFICE

“Okay, gentlemen,” Dutch said eagerly, gathering us outside his room. “I have a plan. And this is a good one.”

Hosea and I exchanged looks, feeling both a little nervous and excited at the same time as we took a seat on the ornate couch.

“Well, what’ve you got in mind?” Hosea asked.

Dutch grinned, holding a finger up. “I did some investigating, and apparently there’s gonna be a show at the Râleur in two days. Lots of tourists are gonna come pilin’ in, and all the money will be sitting right at the front door while everyone else inside is distracted by the show. It’s the perfect time for us to slip in and swipe the cash. Which means the best way for us to do this is by makin’ as little noise as possible...”

He glanced at me. “...Arthur.”

I sighed in annoyance. “...Jesus, I get it.”

Dutch let out a hearty laugh. “That is the last time I’ll mention it. I promise. Anyway, I’m thinkin’ we bring in a small group. Go in quick and quiet. We don’t wanna barge into the theater, armed to the teeth. Remember, the goal here is to cause as little alarm as we can. We’ll probably disguise some of you as employees, too -- that way, you can keep watch while the others focus on the robbing.”

Hosea nodded. “And who’s doing what?”

“Hmm. Well, we don’t want anyone too tough looking to dress as the employees,” Dutch explained. “I think I’ll get Kieran to be one of them. You too, Hosea.”

“What ‘bout me?” I questioned.

“You...are gonna be doing the robbing. My plan is for you and Mary-Beth to enter the theater together. Pretend you’re a couple out to see a show. But don’t walk up to the ticket booth until it’s empty. That way, no one will be around to see what you’re really doing.”

I raised a brow. “Me and Mary-Beth?”

Hosea chuckled. “That poor girl has her eyes on you, Arthur. Everyone in camp can see that. Least it’ll make this job easier for her.”

I shrugged. “So, what, we just walk up to the ticket booth and take the money while everyone’s watchin’ the show?”

“That’s the idea for now,” Dutch confirmed. “But I’m still working out the details. In the meantime: Hosea, you keep focusing on that bank. And Arthur, see what else you can learn about the gala -- where it’s located, how we get in...things like that.”

“On it.”  

The man smirked. “Good. Saint Denis will be our ticket outta this country, boys. I can feel it. We just need one, last score...and we’re gone for good. But it won’t help anything if you lose your faith. So stay with me. Both of you. The gang may be strong, but we’re nothing if we don’t work together.”

Hosea and I gave Dutch a firm, honest look.

“We ain’t goin’ nowhere, Dutch,” I said. “We got your back.”

Dutch began making his way out of the room, glancing at us over his shoulder before he headed out the door.

“I know.”

A FEW HOURS LATER

THAT NIGHT

Sitting on my bed, I mindlessly doodled in my journal while the rest of the gang chatted at the campfire outside, sketching the night away as I waited for another long day of work tomorrow.

Normally I drew things like horses, plants, landscapes...just stuff I came across while wandering around. But today, I found myself scratching down wobbly images of pianos, random music notes, and of course...Edward. 

By now, it was honestly frustratin’ me that I couldn’t tear my mind away from him. Why the hell was I so captivated by that man? I mean, I had met much more prominent people in the past.

I had seen people who were retired gunslingers, civil war veterans, slave catchers, dinosaur bone hunters -- hell, I’d even come across a couple who were brother and sister. 

Why was one pianist so interesting to me? Ain’t like he was the first musician I’d ever met.

I guessed...I guessed it was because he was so different from everyone else.

Most people I talked to always hid behind some kind of pretense. Acted polite and well-mannered on the outside, and danced around saying what they was really thinking...but Edward, he already seemed to know me better than I even knew myself. Within just a few minutes of talking with the boy, he had already come to the conclusion that I was a better man than I thought. 

And based on what? Ramming into him? Makin’ a mess of his notes? Covering his clothes in mud?

Mister Ryan definitely had a unique idea of “good,” that was certain. I just hoped I could live up to it.

“Um, Arthur?”

Flicking my eyes upward at the sudden intrusion, I paused mid-action when I realized Mary-Beth was standing just outside the doorway, her head poking inside with a puzzled expression as she stared at me. I put my journal down.

“Oh, Mary-Beth. Did you...need something?”

The woman walked into the room. “No. I was just...walkin’ by when I overheard you singing. I was curious, is all. Didn’t mean to interrupt.”

I froze in confusion. “Singing? What you mean?”

She giggled. “You were humming, Arthur. You didn’t notice? I guess that’s good. When you hum, it means you’re in a good mood.”

I bashfully looked away from the young woman instantly, admittedly a tad embarrassed. 

When did I even start humming? Who else had heard me, if anyone? Christ, I hoped Uncle wasn’t sleepin’ on the floor downstairs again. Otherwise I’d never hear the end of this. That, and his goddamned lumbago.

“I, ah...” my voice faltered sheepishly, “...I didn’t notice. Sorry to disturb you.”

Mary-Beth waved a dismissive hand. “You weren’t disturbin’ me, you silly man. It was a pretty tune. Where’d you hear it?”

I pretended it was nothing. “Ah, just some song I must’ve heard somewhere or the other.”

She smiled in a way that said she knew I was lying, but dropped the subject anyway.

“Well, I’m just glad you’re feelin’ alright. This gang needs you to stay strong, Arthur. Dutch needs you. More than you may think.”

I stood up from the bed, placing my journal on the nightstand.

“Oh, I’m sure Dutch would manage just fine without me, but...that’s kind of you, Mary-Beth.”

She began to take her leave. “Well, I’ll leave you to it. Stay safe out there, Arthur. Things is gettin’ pretty crazy -- both inside and outside of camp -- so be careful, okay?”

I escorted Mary-Beth out into the corridor, saying a quick goodbye to her.

“Yes, ma’am.”

The woman slid a hand along the staircase’s railing, looking up at me before stepping down.

“Good. I know our situation’s been tough recently, and I can’t deny that I’m scared too...but I know you and Dutch will pull us through. You always do.”

I nodded confidently. “And we will again.”

Mary-Beth descended the stairs, leaving me alone in the hallway.

“Of that, I have no doubt,” she was quiet for a second. “Good night, Arthur. These moments of peace that bore us now, are what we’re gonna be wishin’ for in a bit. Take care of yourself. We ain’t losin’ anybody else.”

I waved her goodbye. 

“...No. We ain’t.”

THE NEXT MORNING

Waking up to the sound of Karen and Grimshaw yelling -- again -- I fluttered my eyes open to a slit, only to be blinded by a strong beam of sunlight that was seeping through the broken window.

I was facedown in my pillow, and judging by the brazen snoring I heard comin’ from downstairs, I weren’t the only one still dreaming. Despite wanting to sleep more though, I decided to head out for Saint Denis now, while the streets were still quiet.

The sun had barely warmed up the sky yet, but all this arguing and fretting at camp right now was makin’ me want to be just about anywhere else. I understood that folks were afraid, and I woulda been lyin’ if I said I wasn’t -- but there was only so much worrying one man could take.

Retrieving my hat, I strapped my belt on and threw my satchel over my shoulder, making sure everything was in place and stretching a bit before striding out of the room.

Fortunately, there weren’t really anyone awake yet to distract me or hold me back from leaving, and the weather seemed clear enough today. 

The clouds were thin and the morning sun was just beginning to float above the purple horizon, painting the world around us with a nice, red tint.

It was the perfect time to ride out.

SAINT DENIS

Urging my horse to slow down, I began trotting into the city ahead of me as I was forced to adjust to civilized life, keeping a mental note that it actually mattered what the hell you was wearin’ out here. 

Usually, I just wore a simple, loose shirt and a roughed-up pair of pants, but for the sake of blending in, I had stuffed myself into some itchy vest this morning along with a nicer set of trousers I didn’t even remember purchasing. 

For a minute I felt like a walking joke on display for everyone to laugh at, but then I remembered the people around me looked even weirder. Women with gowns wider than the streets, and men with hats that made them an entire foot taller...big cities were definitely not the place for me. I didn’t mind the money, though.

Steadily trotting through the roads, I glanced to my side when I noticed the Râleur coming up on the left, the brightly-lit building immediately catching my attention. 

It was indeed quite a view, just like Edward said. Through the tall, glass doors, I could see a luxurious chandelier hanging from the high ceiling, giving the lobby an intense, golden glow as its light reflected off the decorated walls and waxed floors. And browsing through the posters plastered outside the theater, it looked like he weren’t kidding about those fire-breathing people.

Apparently, they had some lady from Bavaria who was stronger than a bull, a duo consisting of a tiny magician and child giant, a man called Benjamin Lazarus who could escape death, and a group of dancers from France who...oh, my.

Well, I didn’t know if it was really my kind of entertainment, but I was definitely considering seeing that show with Edward in it. If the song he performed for me was anythin’ to go by, then his show would be something to remember. I just wished I had the time to stop by.

“Well, hello there, Mister ‘Not a Cowboy!”

Whipping around towards the sound of the voice, I felt a smile sneak its way onto my face when I saw none other than the pianist himself strolling up to me as if on queue...alongside another man whom I hadn’t met yet. I hopped off my mount.

“I see my terrible sarcasm rubs off on people fast,” I greeted Edward with a chuckle, closing the distance between us. “How you doing, Mister Ryan?”

The musician scoffed. “I’m from England, mate. If anything, it was my sarcasm that rubbed off on you. But...I’m doing as well as one can in this city. And what about you, Mister Morgan? I hope Saint Denis is treating you okay.”

I shrugged. “I’m about the same as the last time you saw me.”

Edward seemed pleased. “That’s good to hear.” He turned to the man beside him.

“Err, Mister Middleton, this is the man I told you about earlier. He’s a traveler I ran into yesterday. Quite literally, actually. He’s the one who helped me out with my new composition.”

I brought my focus to Middleton, admittedly feeling somewhat out of place compared to their suits and ties.

“Arthur Morgan.” I introduced casually. The man gave me a stern glare. 

I couldn’t quite pinpoint it just yet, considering I’d only met him, but something about Edward’s companion just...put me off. 

Not only did he have a permanently sour expression hiding behind his groomed mustache, there was also a certain...glint in his dead, gray eyes that reminded me of Strauss. And everyone knew how I felt about that creep. Only difference was, this man actually looked like he was capable of giving out a beating himself.

The man held out a stiff hand.

“...Thatcher Middleton,” he replied bluntly. He had the same accent as Edward. “Pleasure to meet you.”

I reluctantly grabbed his hand, gesturing to the hardened frown on his face. “Try not to smile too hard there, partner. You, uh...another pianist?”

He shook his head, completely ignoring my remark. “No. I have nothing to do with that business. I’m merely a...” there was an odd pause, “...friend of Mister Ryan’s.”

I glanced side to side, not quite sure what to make of that. 

“...I see.”

Picking up on the tension between us, Edward quickly jumped in, changing the subject. 

“I noticed you were checking out the theater, Mister Morgan. Are you thinking about watching one of the shows?”

I gladly took my attention off Middleton, shifting my feet awkwardly. “I am, actually. I was considerin’ that show you mentioned to me. The one tomorrow?”

The pianist’s face radiated with excitement. “Oh, yes. Well, like I said, I’d love to see you there. I won’t be the only act tomorrow night, but it will be the first time I’m performing on my own. I confess I’m a tad nervous.”

I chuckled. “I ain’t heard much of your work, but if that song you showed me is anythin’ like your others...you’ll be fine.”

Edward didn’t appear any less anxious, but hid it nonetheless. “Thank you. You’re too kind, Mister Morgan.”

I laughed at that. “If you say so.”

Flattening this friendly moment with his grumpy tone, Middleton spoke up once more as he threw an almost threatening gaze in Edward’s direction, his eyes piercing through the shadow cast by his bowler hat.

“Well, I can see you’re busy, Edward. We’ll discuss this more later. In the meantime, I’ll be returning to my house if you need me. I have many matters to attend to.” Middleton barely looked at me, briefly bowing his head as a goodbye. “...Mister Morgan.”

I returned the dull farewell. “Middleton.”

Skulking off into the busy city, the man vanished like a phantom in the thick crowds as Edward and I watched him leave, both of us feeling somewhat unnerved after that chat.

“Charmin’ feller, ain’t he?” I muttered.

Edward crossed his arms. “He wouldn’t know charm if it died in his bed. Though, I suppose it already has.”

I smirked at the pianist. “I take it you weren’t waltzin’ around with him by choice?”

He sighed. “Oh, definitely not. You’ve no idea how grateful I am that I found you. In fact, I’d much rather waltz with you, Mister Morgan.” Edward stuttered after that, as if realizing what he just said. “Erm, i-if that’s alright, of course. Want to grab a drink? We did meet at a saloon, after all.”

I shrugged in a “why not” manner.

“Sure,” I agreed. “Oh, and call me Arthur, would you?”

Edward appeared much more relieved now. “And you can call me Edward. Or Eddie, if you prefer. People call me both.”

I beamed at him, the two of us strolling side-by-side as we diverted our path to the Bastille.

“Eddie it is,” I replied. “Y’know, I think you’re the most sensible Englishman I’ve met so far.”

“You’ve met others, have you?”

I adjusted my hat. “Well, aside from you and Middleton, I’ve only met one out here. And his name was Margaret.”

A brief laugh escaped Eddie. “You sound like you’ve had your fair share of adventures. Perhaps it’s your turn to entertain me with story today.”

We hugged a corner, turning onto a new street.

“Ah, I dunno ‘bout that. I ain’t...I ain’t so good with words.”

Eddie persisted. “You don’t need words to tell a story, Arthur. Words...are overrated. In the end, your actions are what speak for you.”

I grinned at him, the two of us stopping at the edge of a sidewalk as we waited to cross. 

“You, sir, possess a wisdom that I have yet to find.”

Eddie remained unconvinced that I was as dumb as I made myself out to be and simply rolled his eyes, beckoning me as we spoke with each other like a pair of old friends. 

For some reason, whenever I was around Eddie, I felt like I didn’t have to hide nothing. The boy seemed to be drawn to me no matter how much I talked down about myself, and every time we crossed paths, he acted as if we’d known each other for a lifetime already.

I...enjoyed the time I spent with him. 

I was only worried that this upcoming robbery would ruin our friendship. I mean, it was obvious how much this meant to Eddie, and lord knew how long he’d been preparing for this, but it was something I just had to go through with.

Then again, I guessed I always had the option to expose the plan, but...I could never do that. Not with the gang counting on me. Or Dutch. The old man was already paranoid we had a rat within the camp. The last thing I needed was to make him think it was me.

Well, I supposed all I could do was enjoy this relationship while it lasted. Eddie was too good of a man to be with me anyway. It was probably for the best if he kept his distant from an outlaw such as myself.

...Probably.