#the humidity is also super high

[wolfchans]

Girl what is thisssss how it's 34°C real feel temperature at almost 11pm 😭 I want to die

[fingertipsmp3]

Nothing more frustrating than having a dream set in an amazing book series and then waking up to find out it doesn’t exist. Guess I’VE gotta write this now

[leejeann]

Still not sure if I'm going to make a temperature blanket, but I have made a whole spreadsheet with the potential layout for one so that I can fill in the squares every day and color-code it appropriately just in case I decide to. If nothing else, I'll have a temperature spreadsheet lol

Idk if it's surprising whatsoever, but I'm one of those people who lowkey enjoys making spreadsheets so

Spreadsheet

My plan for the blanket, should I make one, is to do two rows per month. Each day gets a 2x2" square for the high temp and one for the low temp (as it says in the bottom right). I really want to do like the high temp squares have a sun in the middle and the low temp have a moon (using granny square patterns from BJRcreative on Etsy but with a smaller hook size). That might be too much effort though so I might just make them solid squares. Then a black border on the whole thing.

I think I know what yarn I want to use, just need to pick out the specific colors. Not sure they'll even match my current chart tbh, depends on if i can find a shade of each color that all look good together. If not I'll swap some

(The current colors in the actual rows are just my vaguely-synesthesia colors for each month so I could see if the layout would even work)

To be totally honest I don't really need another blanket, so I might make a different temperature thing if I can come up with something. I've seen a temperature snake before so maybe something like that would be fun, idk. Anyway!

[martyrbat]

>:(((

[the-acid-pear]

Why did my cooking dream get hijacked by my brain making a William Afton oc and au what was that about.

[haoboutyou]

gym crush | choi seungcheol

fluff | 1151 words | suggestive descriptions. i’m y/n’s just really thirsty

an: please take this as a formal invitation. requests are open! (whether i answer on time is another problem)

you don’t like the gym. absolutely not. it gets super hot and humid inside, it stinks of sweat, and the big machines always intimidate you.

what to do? you’re just a girl.

you usually wouldn’t even phantom the idea of stepping foot into the gym if it wasn’t for your best friend. really, the only reason why you’re even sitting in one right now was because you arrived too early for your meet up with him.

that’s how you ended up perched on a high stool, legs swinging as you patiently look around while soonyoung finishes up his last few sets of… pull-ups? you’re honestly not sure. how he’s still chatting with you while completing his sets – barely panting through it, too – is beyond you.

“so i was thinking,” soonyoung casually starts, lifting himself like he was made of paper. “we can get dinner at the new italian place downtown? i heard they’re having a opening promotion right now.”

“mmh, sounds good.” your eyes are flitting all around the gym, trying to find something interesting enough to catch your attention.

“right, i almost forgot! seokmin texted earlier; he said he’ll drive by to pick us up later too.”

“really? that’s great.” you sound enthusiastic but your hunched posture informs soonyoung otherwise. at this point, your best friend can tell that you’ve tuned out of the conversation. he huffs at the way your eyes zone into the far corner of the gym, where the weight benches are. soonyoung scoffs more when he realises your eyes are trained on a very specific person, watching intently at the way the muscles on his arms bulge every time he lifts a dumbbell.

“yeah, he also said he saw mingyu running into a tree earlier… even said a rat fell on him and started pulling at his hair and controlling him like a robot. do you think the rat would make a better chef than mingyu?”

“wow really? that’s great.” your replies get progressively monotonous as you keep your eyes trained at the corner. yeah, now he definitely knows your mind has completely left the conversation.

your breath hitched as you watched the mystery man run a hand through his faded red hair, baggy t-shirt sleeves hitched up to reveal more of his biceps? triceps? never have you ever wished you paid more attention to your biology lessons back in high school.

everything about this mystery man has you swooning. the thick veins on his hands running up his arms, the way his eyebrows furrow in concentration, how the sweat glistening on his forehead seemed to cast a heavenly glow all around him. you can’t forget the grunts he lets out with every movement, entrancing you with his deep voice. gosh, even his hands are perfect. an angel has descended to soothe all your gym-related problems, converting you into a devout worshipper of his physique.

you’ve never been more thankful for soonyoung’s suggestion to wait in the gym.

soonyoung’s arms may be burning from hanging on the pull-up bar for too long, but he just couldn’t believe his eyes; your mouth is hanging open and– wait, is that drool?! is his best friend really drooling over a man in the gym?!? a laugh of disbelief escapes him as he finishes the last of his rep. soonyoung mutters a quick prayer of thanks to god for gifting him prime blackmailing material. he drops back to the ground and swiftly snaps a picture of you, in all your thirsting glory, before he picks up the rest of his stuff.

“y/n,” he calls out. “i’m gonna hit the showers and then we can go. you good staying here on your own for a bit?”

“yeah, yeah! i’m not going anywhere, don’t worry.” you wave him off, not even bothering to turn towards your best friend. soonyoung lets out another tut as he turns towards the gym’s locker room. that is, before a brilliant idea comes into mind.

“hyung!”

the red-haired man turns towards soonyoung’s voice. “hoshi, you’re going already?”

your best friend nods his head, grinning at how your eyes seemed to pop out at the way he was casually talking to your new-found eye candy. “are you doing anything tonight? i’m meeting seokmin and the others for dinner later, wanna join?”

“kwon soonyoung!” you whisper-hiss. “what the hell are you doing? you guys know each other!?” is that blush creeping up your neck he sees? the tips of your ears tinge so pink soonyoung thinks he can almost feel the heat radiating from them.

“thanks, but i’ve already got plans.” the mystery stranger shoots you a gentle smile, flirty (flirty?!) wink (WINK?!?) towards you. still, you can’t hide your disappointment; you would’ve loved to get to know this new-found work of art more.. “maybe next time? you can properly introduce me to your pretty friend then too.”

soonyoung thinks he heard a strangled cry from you, coughing as you somehow manage to choke on your own saliva. he chuckles at your suffering. “sure, hyung. i think she’d like that too!”

soonyoung doesn’t know what to expect when he finally emerges from the locker room cleaned and refreshed, but it definitely wasn’t you raining attacks on his sore arms and shoulders. seungcheol (he had introduced himself to you while soonyoung was gone– in fact, the two of you managed a whole conversation while he was gone (no, you were so shy and embarrassed you were barely able to keep eye contact with him)) waves at the both of you as you leave the gym to wait for seokmin to arrive.

you’re convinced the blush on your cheeks is going to be a permanent feature of tonight. it doesn’t help that it becomes the main topic during dinner with seokmin and mingyu, the other two boys cracking up at soonyoung’s dramatic retelling of your new-found gym crush.

(it also doesn’t help that you had a balled up fist under the table all night, hiding the hastily written phone number on a piece of paper that seungcheol had managed to slip to you while you were leaving, mouthing the words ‘call me!’ behind soonyoung’s back.)

-

bonus!

“remember when you couldn’t keep your eyes off me when we first met?” seungcheol swings his arm around you, broad shoulders almost engulfing you whole.

you groan, choosing instead to bury your head into your boyfriend’s chest. soonyoung cackles from across the booth. you have to physically restrain yourself from clawing him alive.

“hyung it wasn’t just that; she was drooling over you!” he wiggles his eyebrows, ignoring the daggers you were staring his way. blush makes its way up your cheeks, dusting them pink.

seungcheol laughs, planting a kiss on the crown of your head.

“if it makes you feel better,” he whispers in your ear. “you were my gym crush too.”

soonyoung almost falls off his seat laughing when you blush even harder.

[headspace-hotel]

I've been reading a lot of articles trying to understand how the ranges of various plants expanded and contracted throughout the glacial and interglacial periods,

and it sucks, it SUCKS that we just cannot know about ecosystems in the distant past with the same amount of detail as today's ecosystems!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED TO KNOW WHAT KENTUCKY WAS LIKE IN THE UPPER MIOCENE. BITING CLAWING KILLING DYING

I've been reading about palynology which is the STUDY of POLLEN, so different plants have very different looking pollen grains so if you get some mud from a sediment layer from 11,000 years ago and look at it under a microscope you can see what plants were dominant in the area and therefore how the ecosystem was different

ONE PROBLEM: Only the especially numerous plants will be easily detected this way, and it is rare for insect-pollinated plants to have detectable records in sediments like this, because pollen made to be carried by insects, doesn't blow away in the air and end up in mud the way wind-pollinated plant pollen does.

TWO PROBLEM, ACTUALLY: Pollen grains aren't that different between individual species, you could only say "This is an oak" or "This is a ragweed" and probably can't detect which kind specifically.

So there could have been all sorts of crazy herbs and trees that we would NEVER KNOW about because they were not very numerous, they were insect pollinated (80% of plant species are insect pollinated!) or they are closely related enough to a species we DO know, that the pollen is indistinguishable.

The quality of data on actual plant fossil records in Southeastern USA is kinda shit for some reason. I've read papers about it where the scientists are trying to make sense of the data and they're like "This paper from 1979 says this species of walnut was found in Tennessee, but we think it's full of shit because the fossil was just a tiny chip of bark" or something like that.

Compared with the rest of North America, we know next to nothing about the prehistory and the Pleistocene environment of the Southeast, I guess because it's so warm, humid and wet, everything rots away super quick.

Which is PAINFUL because the Southeast is the most biodiverse part of North America, and the ranges occupied by various plants suggest some wEIRD SHIT was happening.

There are ~100 genera that have one species that lives in SE USA and a sister species that lives in SE Asia,

and furthermore, there are several species that are found in SE USA but ALSO found high up in the cloud forests of Central America, in a totally different habitat that just happens to be hospitable temperature wise.

There are tons of plant species found EXCLUSIVELY in Florida and nowhere else on Earth. There are also loads of plant species found only in the highest peaks of the Appalachian Mountains. And there's a bunch of species that are found only in random speckle-like patches in various places, like how did it get HERE and then all the way over THERE 200 miles away with none in between?!?!

[nothorses]

So I'm thinking of going on low dose T, and ofc I'll get more feedback from doctors when I see them, but I know one of the changes is that you run warmer and have lower heat tolerance, and I'm already kind of heat sensitive (sweating is a sensory ick). Do you or your followers have any kind of coping strategies that have helped with that?

I ran warm before, too, and I'm definitely warmer now! I also have Raynaud's which kind of makes the whole experience a clusterfuck, but that's besides the point. lmao.

I live in a pretty cool/temperate area, so it isn't normally an issue except in the (increasingly horrible) summers, but I've found that the hardest time to stay cool has been at night. I share a bed with my partner who runs even warmer, and it's been 2.5 years of struggling to figure out how to be a comfortable temperature together.

The best advice I can give you is to just stay as far away from synthetic fibers as you can; "sweat wicking" and "cooling" and "athletic" stuff included. It's a lie. They're all plastic, and while they might feel cool to the touch at first, plastic doesn't breathe. It'll trap heat and moisture against your skin after enough time, especially in the form of blankets. (Fuck the Rest Evercool. Worst recommendation I've ever gotten.)

Look for 100% linen, or 100% cotton. I've heard wool also works well, but I haven't had luck with that personally. Woven fabrics are going to be cooler and more breathable than sateen, and waffle weave is like, the single most breathable weave afaik (it's more common in blankets, but some clothes are waffle).

Some of these things can be pretty scratchy at first, and I recommend a couple of washes on a high heat & some fabric softener before you start using them. We were able to break in our waffle blanket super quickly this way! (I know some folks recommend against softener for breathability reasons, but it's the only thing that actually worked for us, and it hasn't impacted breathability). After you break them in, though, cotton and linen fabrics are SUPER soft!

I also recommend staying away from leather. It's natural, but trust me: it's not breathable. It's coveted in outdoor rec spaces BECAUSE it's somewhat waterproof.

Outside of that, I'd really encourage you to lean towards multiple light layers that you can change/remove throughout the day to suit your needs (ex: light tee + fleece + wind/rain layer, maybe throw in a flannel somewhere), instead of one or two heavy ones (ex: shirt + big puffy cold weather jacket). It's a strategy common in the PNW that works great for regulating your temperature when you're dealing with humidity and somewhat unpredictable weather, and imo, it also really translates if you're just generally sensitive to heat and sweat.

Outside of that... depending on where you live, I really recommend having an AC/dehumidifier. Don't bother with trying to rig up a swamp cooler if you're sensitive to sweat- the increased humidity will make things worse. The general advice I heard when researching a good AC was that window units will always be more efficient than portable units (and a mini split is better than either), but if you have to go with a portable unit, go with a dual-hose. They'll be more efficient just because they don't create a vacuum that pulls in warm air from outside. This is the model we settled on- it was really highly recommended and cost effective for what it is, and it's been absolutely fantastic this summer.

Idk how you are about pits, but I wash mine with a benzoyl body wash and then use a deodorant with antiperspirant every day, and I virtually never smell or sweat. 🤷‍♂️ ymmv though

I'm sure folks will have things to add, so check the notes on this post- and good luck!

[anemptypuddingcup]

Beautiful inside & out.

Yamato x Female Reader Rewrite.

Yamato imagine original fic.

This goddamn fic needed a damn rewrite because I didn’t necessarily do the right research and ended up writing some sort of a cis-male Yamato fic. Might as well say it was a genderbent Yamato fic.

Contains: Fluffy and smutty! Trans Man Yamato! We love our big boy. Yamato has surgery scars. Yamato also has big sharp bottom teeth (Oni headcanon for Yamato). Yamato has a bit of stubble on his chin too. Size difference kink. Grinding and/or frottage. Multiple rounds. Yamato’s stamina is fucking godly in this- Overstimulation towards Reader. A nice and fluffy fic. Writing’s a bit sloppy and repetitive in this one.

The sun was shining its beautiful blood orange hue within the sky as it lingered to set on this hot yet beautiful fresh day. His hair was up high in a bun while his horns stuck out at the sides of his temple. His skin was tanned and super sun-kissed, mostly from staying out in the sun all day every day.

A heavy whine left him as he shuts his eyes and whimpered out loudly, desperate to just get out of this humid heat and go back inside the house where it would be just a tad bit cooler.

He was picking fresh vegetables from his garden, the pretty yet vibrant crisp colors making the vegetables look even more delicious than they already were. “I hope these are the best ones, didn’ she say she wanted sum fresher ones last time?” He quirks a brow and scratches his head as he stared at a bright and beautifully red tomato, trying to remember what you told him before he walked out of the house.

The heat was obviously making him a bit hazy if not dumber as he sat there in deep thought. His hand moves down from his temple and to his chin, scratching at the slight stubble he had running along it.

He shrugs and puts the vegetables he picked into the basket before slowly standing back up off his knees, a yawn leaving him as he stretched and smiled to himself. He stared down into the basket for a moment and nods happily, satisfied with the produce he’s picked out for you.

“Ahh, she’s gonna be so proud when she see’s these~”

♡ ♡ ♡

You hum out to yourself sweetly as you chopped at some potatoes, a little yawn leaving you as the summer’s heat made you all sticky yet tired. The hot heat had always drained your energy, especially around a time like this where you had to cook dinner. With the windows open and the scent of summer air, it was like a usual summer evening for both you and Yamato. One like any other would be.

And even though the sun was setting, the heat still stayed and lingered behind as if not wanting to leave and give your sweating body a break with cooling air.

Freshly washed rice was cooking in the rice steamer and diced vegetables were arranged along the counter alongside some seasonings. The aroma of freshly-brewed tea wafted throughout the kitchen which merged with the aroma of boiling curry cooking within a semi-small pot. You slowly slid the chopped vegetables into the pot and gave it a stir before putting the lid back on top.

You wiped at your sweating temple before standing onto your tip-toes to peer outside of the window.

“I hope Mato’s okay, he’s still hasn’t came inside yet…” You hummed to yourself, a slight worry spilling in your tone as you scratched at your head.

The sound of Yamato’s geta hitting the wooden floorboards of the steps had immediately alerted you, his heavy footsteps trailing up the steps and onto the back of the wooden porch. You hear him sigh out heavily while his hand slid open the screen door, a deep groan of exhaustion leaving him while he wiped the sweat from his brows.

He looks to you before smiling widely, his body stepping into the house and closing the door behind him before he ran over to you happily.

“Babes! I’ve got some fresh ones this time!” He beams, body slowly trailing over to yours as he watched you cook at the stove. You turn over to him and watched him crouch down to your height, your hand reaching out to touch his cheek while his face flushed all nervously at your touch. “They’re vibrant too! Thank you Yamato.” You praised and thanked him, a blush creeping across his face as he basked in your praise. He presses his hand softly against your head, feeling along the soft strands attached to your temple before he reaches down and presses a kiss to it.

You smile and giggle to him, mewling out as he began peppering smooches down to your cheek and then down along your neck. His sharp teeth pricked at your neck, tickling you yet at the same time giving a bit of a pleasurable feeling. “Mmgh~ M-Mato baby, I’m cooking!~” You giggles to him, shutting an eye at the arousing contact of his lips and teeth against your skin.

He whimpered before moving away from your neck, his body slowly standing up straight as he stared down at your smaller and cuter frame. He stared at you for a moment before noticing how slightly pale your face had looked. His brows furrowed in slight curiosity as he stared at your face for a moment before humming out.

“Are…Are you okay babes? You look a little…”

“I’m just a bit hot is all. I’m gonna be alright though Mato.”

“Hmmph…I guess if you say so…”

You giggled and froze as you heard the rice steamer go off, the sound catching you off guard and and making your eyes widen in slight surprise. “Mato love, can you get the rice out of the rice cooker for me? I’m almost done so I just need you to get that.” You asked him, stirring at the curry while he loomed over the stove and watched you. He slide his hand beneath his crop-top to scratch at his chest before nodding to you, a yawn leaving him before he hums out.

“Of course babes! I’ll get it f’ya.” He responded, his large footsteps trailing away from your smaller body and to the other side of the counter. You hum to yourself as Yamato opened the rice steamer and took the rice out, a hungry hum leaving his throat as he got that whiff of seasoned rice.

Yamato carefully opened the top cabinet to get some plates and pulls two out before he put even portions onto each plate. He peers over his shoulder to see you pulling the top off of the pot and tasting the curry before nodding to yourself, making sure it had tasted alright for both you and him. He pouts to himself and hesitated to ask but he mustered up the courage to turn around to you and ask his question. “Hey babes, is it alright if I get…more rice an’ curry?” He asked politely, not wanting to sound unfair but having a rather larger appetite. You hum out to him before you smiled and nodded in response.

“Of course Yamato! A big man needs a big meal right? Take as much as you’d like, I’m not going to eat much tonight anyways.” You accepted, allowing him to eat more than you while .

Yamato quirks a brow to you before throwing another big spoonful of rice onto his plate and picking up both his plate and yours from the counter. His hands held the platters steadily while he walked over to you with heavy yet balanced steps.

“Why not? Ain’t ya hungry after a long day burnin’ up in th’sun all day? It was pretty hot out there today.” He asked, giving you a bit of a worried look while he handed you the plates and watched you pour curry onto them.

“I’m just…not feeling as hungry I guess.” You responded, a sigh leaving you as you look up to him and handed his plate to him. Yamato pouts down to you and presses a smooch to your cheek to try and cheer you up. He takes your plate from your small hand and smiles as he walked off towards the doorway of the kitchen. “I’ll be waitin’ for ya in the front room, I’ll take ya plate in there f’ya too.” He says, quirking a bit of a worried smile before walks back to pepper another smooch to your temple. You chuckled and watched him walk away again and listened as his footsteps slowly vanish out of the kitchen and fade out into the hallway.

You could tell he was worried for you, as much as you’ve been doing all day he assumed that you would’ve worked up quite the appetite for it. However that wasn’t necessarily the case for you. Yes you were tired but…not very hungry unlike Yamato himself, but that’s what bothered him.

You take off the kettle off the stove and turned it off before you poured tea into the two teacups, your lips blowing air onto the tear to cool it off just a smidge. You slowly set them onto a little tray and taking them into the living room, your steps steady and slow as you walked down the hallway.

♡ ♡ ♡

Yamato had already blessed the food for you both, and he watched as you took small bites while he was practically scarfing his food down as if he was starved. While he was chewing, he started speaking to you, his hand covering his mouth as his lips had parted with his mouth still stuffed.

“Hey babes, I got a question f’ya.”

“Yes Yamato?”

“Will you ever get tired of me and…um…my size?”

“Eh?-“

“Like…D’ya ever worry ‘bout me ever hurtin’ ya? I mean…really. What if I hurt ya and don’ mean to?”

You paused for a moment and stopped chewing your food before looking up into his eyes, your eyes flickering to him before you sighed out. You swallowed your bite and giggled before you reach your hands out to cup his face, your thumbs running along the softness of his cheeks.

“Mato…I don’t ever worry about you hurting me because I know you won’t. Yes, you’re a big and strong man…but that’s exactly what I love about you~ You’re so big and so unique baby…”

You stare up into his beautiful amber eyes, watching them glisten and glimmer with love deep his heart. You wipe the small grain of rice from his cheek and he smiles so beautifully to you, his cheeks flushed as he processed your words deep within his mind.

He wraps his arms around your smaller frame and pulls you close before he press his lips against yours. His teeth bumped up against your temple and gave you that same sense of pleasure you’ve felt countless times before. You hum out to him lovingly and wrap your arms around his neck before pulling away. “Matooo, can’t we finish eating dinner first?~ Weren’t you so hungry earlier?” You teased, your fingers teasing at his ruby-red horns while he mewled out.

He huffs out and presses his hands to your shoulders, his eyes pouting to you while you blink to him. Admittedly, he was still a little negative and unsure with your words and he didn’t know whether he wanted to believe you or allow his stubborn mind to play at himself.

“Can…Can we make love tonight? I just wanna…I wanna stop thinkin’ this way! Reassure me! Make me think otherwise!” He pouts to you, a little whimper leaving him as he stared down at you with intensity. You stared up at him blankly before sighing out, your body shuddered at his tone while your heart began to pound out of your chest.

You blink softly to yourself before smiling to him, your hands cupping his face once again before you’d pepper a smooch to his temple and his horns. His eyes widens as he flinched from the sudden kiss to his horns, his hand nearly knocking his tea over as he stared down at you.

“You always know how to get me going, don’t you?~” You giggled, fluttering your lashes to him while he chuckles nervously in response. “If you want to we can, I’d love to make love with you any night~” You say all seductively, wrapping your arms around his neck while he held you closer to his body. His eyes softened up at your contact before he watched you pull away from him.

“I’m finished eating anyways, I’ll go freshen up for tonight. My body is so sticky from this heat we’ve been dealing with all day today..” You sighed out, staring up at him from below on his lap while he nods and grabs his plate which was nearly clean.

“O-Okay, I’ll take these for ya then.” He says, reaching out and grabbing your plate before he place it beneath his own. You smiled and hand him the teacups as well before climbing up off of his body, watching as his body slowly rose and stood up before he’d walk out of the living room. “Thank you, Mato..” You whispered, causing him to turn back around and smile to you before he walked far out into the hallway.

You huff out before standing up off of the floor, a groan leaving you as you stretched and walked out of the living room and down the hallway into your shared bedroom. The sound of your footsteps had him all giddy and ecstatic, he was already excited and couldn’t contain himself for very long.

“Man…I love ‘er s’much~ She’s s’perfect for me~” He sighed all lovingly, his cheeks reddening while his body grew hot yet full with love.

Regardless if he was a big man who had negative thoughts, you’d always wash ‘em away with your soft sweet voice filled with reassurance and acceptance. Though part of him couldn’t help but to be stubborn sometimes when it came to things like this. He was happy that you loved him for him, he felt like he could be free with his flaws freely without anyone complaining or picking at him for his imperfections or indifferences of his.

And yet, part of him still couldn’t help but to worry if he would really hurt you accidentally one day. His thoughts makes his walking come to a halt and he paused at the kitchen doorway before he stared down at the empty tea cups and dirty plates in his hand.

“Maybe…Maybe she’ll reassure my thoughts…with her love. I don’ need t’be worryin’ myself over somethin’ I know is just my own facade.”

He chuckles to himself at his pesky negative thoughts and walks over to the sink, getting down onto his knees before he’s softly set the dishes in the warm soapy water.

He hummed out to himself while shook his hips to the tune, cleaning and washing up the dishes while he looked out the window and stared up at the moon. He smirks to himself as he rinsed the soapy dishes out before setting them on the drying rack and washing his hands clean of any extra germs that lingered in his hands.

He closed the blinds to the window before he stood up on his own two feet and walked out of the kitchen, his hand flicking off the light switch as behind him as he walked out.

♡ ♡ ♡

“Baby? Everythin’ alright in there?” He called out, his hand reaching out to the doorknob before he slide the shoji door open. His eyes flicked up before they widened and blinked blankly, his amber eyes staring at your naked back while he watched you slowly look over your shoulder to look at him.

“Hm?~ You wanted to do something tonight didn’t you Yamato?”

“I-I didn’ think- U-Um-“

“Don’t tell me you’re nervous Yamato~”

His face burns a deep shade of red as he pouts and walks into the bedroom, his hand shutting the door behind himself. “M-Me? Nervous!? Ya must be jokin’!” He responded loudly, a laugh leaving him as he tried to hide his nervousness from you.

“Don’t be scared Yamato, you aren’t going to hurt me baby~ I promise you.” You say, turning over onto your tummy while you lifted and moved your forelegs back and forth. Yamato gulps before pulling off his crop top and slipping off his joggers, leaving him in nothing but his boxers while he began to grow sweaty from his own nervousness.

“F-Fine…Just lemme bathe first.” He sighed out, his hand pulling at his hair tie before he’d loosened his bun completely, allowing his stands to fall freely along his back.

You chuckled and nodded in response, teasing him with your body while he growled out nervously in response. “I’ll be waiting for you then, Yamato~” You hum out to him, your tone of voice teasing and making him blush deeply as he walked into the bathroom and slowly closed the door behind himself.

You sigh out and look away from the door before sitting there in silence, your hands teasing at your body while you waited for Yamato to finish showering.

♡ ♡ ♡

“Oi, m’finished showerin’~ Now what is it that ya wanted t’do?-“ Yamato slowly walks out of the bathroom, his hands still running the towel through his snow white strands as he stepped into your shared bedroom. You slowly sit up and turn over to him before smiling, watching as he continued to dry up his dampened hair well enough. He lands his amber eyes onto you and smiles, his hands throwing the towel onto the floor before he’d jump straight onto your shared bed.

You yelp out in response and bounce up a bit from Yamato’s larger stature hitting your shared bed. You giggle to him, his larger hands reaching out and picking you up before pulling you closer to him.

“Hi babes~”

“Hi Yamato~”

He chuckled before pressing his lips against yours, a mewl leaving him as his tongue slid past your lips so impatiently. You hum out all sweetly against his lips and wrap your arms around his neck, your hands rubbing against his soft pretty strands alongside his smooth yet roughed-up skin.

His hands ran up along your back, a groan leaving him as he pulls away from your lips and pressed them back against yours again. His hand slid down in between your legs and began playing at your slit, his fingertips running against your cunt making you gasp out shakily while you gripped his shoulders tighly.

“Already sticky down ‘ere I see~” He gasps out, pulling away from your lips while his fingers played with your slit. You mewl out at the feeling of his thick fingers running along your pussy. “Of course I am~ I’m excited to feel your body against mine after so long~ I’m surprised you wanted convincing on how much I really trust you…” You say nervously, your thighs squeezing together against his hand while you stared up at him with your nervous little eyes.

“I always need convincin’, how else will I ever know that ya genuinely love me for me? No one would want to be with someone as…big and grizzly as myself…”

“Come on baby…I would. I am with you! Why else would I be with you other than for yourself baby?” You asked him, your question causing his brows to raise in response while he grows quiet. He blushes and turns away from you before sighing out, now realizing that once again his mind was playing with him and just making him more worrisome.

“I already told you that I love your body Yamato. Not just your body, I love everything about you just like how you love everything about me.” You continued, your hand running down between your legs and running against the soft skin of his fingers. He squeaks out at your contact and he stared down into your eyes while you look back up into his.

“You love everything about me, right? That’s why you’re with me isn’t it?” You asked him nervously, tilting your head while you gave him an unsure look. His eyes widens in response and he immediately nodded without a second thought.

“H-Hell yeah I do! I wouldn’ be with ya otherwise if I wasn’ so sure…” He yells out in nervousness, not wanting to make it seem like he didn’t love you when he obviously did.

“Well that’s how I feel about you baby, you can always be confident that I’ll love you no matter what happens.” You say smiling to him, your words flattering him and making his heart flutter and skip a beat.

He hugs you tightly and gives you a loving smooch before pulling away, a lovable sigh spilling past his lips as he stared down into your eyes.

“God, lemme fuck ya~ All this sweet talkin’ got me soakin’ f’ya~”

“Please fuck me good Yamato~ Prove to me that you feel the same for me as I do for you.”

“I…I will baby. I will…”

♡ ♡ ♡

Yamato grabs your hips and presses his pussy up against yours, a soft sigh leaving him as his clit smooches up against yours. You let out a soft moan and trembled against him, staring down at his cunt while he stared into your pretty eyes. He adored how small you were beneath him, dominating your smaller body was so easy for him to accomplish. He loved how your body would squirm beneath him, the bigger he was the more pleasure he could feed your body.

“Ya ready?~” He asked teasingly, his lips curling up into a smirk while you look up into his eyes. You nodded softly and smiled, giving him the permission to start moving his hips against yours while you watched from below. You gasp out suddenly and watched as he began rocking his hips into yours, a groan leaving him as he felt your sticky slick running along his pussy.

“God ya s’fuckin’ wet baby~ Makin’ my pussy feel real good like this~” He groans outs, his hands pressing against either side of you while he stared down at your body already melting for him. You blushed deeply and bit your bottom lip, staring up at him while you sigh and gasp out shakily in response.

He chuckles and sits up a bit before grinding his hips a bit faster, his face wincing just a bit out of pleasure while he lets out a moan of ecstasy. He watched as you moan out for him, biting your bottom lip while he fucks your pussy all needily. “Ahhh~ Y-Yamato~ I-It feels s’good~” You moan out all sweetly to him, your brows furling as you watched him slide and grind his pussy all up against yours.

“Ahh~ I’m g-glad it does~ Ya better get ready cuz m’gonna make sure ya feel all of my love!~” He hums out, licking his lips while his hands began playing at your breasts. You huff out shakily to him as your body began to rock a bit hard, with Yamato’s hips going at an immaculate pace while his grinding was steady and rhythmic.

You arch your back and hiss out shakily, looking up to Yamato while he bends down and gives you a deepened kiss. “Mmh~ Ya gonna feel my love baby~ M’gonna make ya feel it, god m’gonna make ya feel s’good~” He gasps out shakily, throwing his head back while he propped himself up on his hands.

You let out angelic moans as he grinds up against you harder and faster against your cunt, your hands gripping the sheets tightly while you moan out and threw your head back. “Oh Yamato~ Y-Yamato I-I’m gonna cum soon~” You whined, your face scrunching up as you slowly lied back onto your fluffy pillows.

Yamato chuckles and grips one of your legs before going a bit faster, causing you to gasp and moan out beneath him while he fucked you so easily. “Cmon then babes~ I wanna feel ya squirtin’ on m’pussy~ Cmonnn~” He mewls out shakily, his breaths growing heavy while he played at his clit teasingly in front of you.

You whined out and press your head to your temple before moaning out loudly, your hands reaching out for his while he chuckled and reached out to you. “Fuck fuck- Y-Yamato!~ Oh god, Yamato!~” His hands waffled with yours and he watched as you unfurled beneath him, a heavy yet loud gasp erupting past your lips as you squirt out onto his pussy against yours. He hissed out and runs his thumb along your clit, trying to help ride your high out while he continued to grind against your cunt.

You whine out shakily as you yearned for him to stop and give you a second to breathe, but he didn’t and your body didn’t necessarily want him to. “Fuck ya so cute like that babes!~ S’fuckin’ adorable an’ needy~” He hums, his lips pressing a smooch to yours while his hips didn’t halt for a second. You whine out shakily, realizing that he wasn’t stopping regardless if you’d just came.

“Cmon baby, that was just th’first round! I haven’t even came yet!” He says playfully, giving you a little smile while you whined out to him in response. “P-Please Yamato~ I-I just c-came~” You whined out to him, a bit of years pricking at eyes as you pouted to him. Yamato chuckled mischievously and looks down at you with a glint in his eyes.

“No no baby…Ya just lay right there. I’m gonna fuck ya pussy and make ya cum even more!~” He says darkly, his tongue trailing across his lips as he finished his sentence. You breathe out shakily and stare up at him before whimpering in response, a bit excited yet nervous to see how rough he’ll go on you.

♡ ♡ ♡

“W-Wait!~ A-Ah!- S-Slow down Y-Yamato!~”

“Nah! I ain’ slowin’ down for nun’! I wanna show ya how much I love ya! How much I love this fuckin’ body of yours!”

You gasp out shakily and held on tight to your pillow, a heavy whine leaving you while tears rolled down your face and drool spilled past your lips. Yamato was breathing heavily above you, his hand gripping your thigh and keeping it up while he ran his pussy up against yours so vigorously and yet so hard.

Both of your pussies were all sticky with slick and cum, yet Yamato was still full of energy as if he hadn’t came three times already. Your mind was practically melting at this point and Yamato was absolutely loving how you looked crumbling beneath him.

Groans left his lips as he got a good look at your adorably sticky face, his smile growing wide as he stared down at you melting beneath his body. He watched your breasts bounce with every movement he took rocking his hips against yours, a handful of moans leaving your lips like a sweet angelic song.

“M-M’gonna cum a-again, Yamato~” You whimpered out loudly yet shakily to him, your eyes shutting softly as your lied your head back in sweet arousal. “Aww again? Ya so sensitive ain’cha?” He teased, a little snicker leaving him as he smiled down at your broken little state. You sigh out heavily yet weakly, begging him to give you a break with the press of your hand against his chest.

His brows raise in response and he smiles and bends over your, hovering over your body. His smirk grows into a wide smile as he smooched your lips, grinding his hips harder before he began to gasp out. “Fuck, m’close again~ I know ya wanna cum to so I’ll let ya~” He whispered to you, his hips beginning to go faster against yours while you let out a broken moan.

You groan out heavily and pull him close, your moans all soft and broken as your pussy fluttered against his. You let out a silent moan as you threw your head back, your pussy gushing all over his while he sighs out shakily. He chuckled before gasping out, his temple against yours as he breathed heavily against your lips.

His body shudders and he lets out a heavy growl, his body shuddering against yours as he squirts out into your pussy and lower abdomen. He humps you a few more time before he stopped completely, a hum leaving his lips as he looked down at you who was all fucked out and drooling.

He giggles and gives you another sticky smooch before slowly pulling himself off of you, a string of cum and slick disconnecting from both of your pussies. He sets himself down beside you and pulled you up into his arms, his arms cradling you as if you were a precious gem in his delicate hands.

“Did I….Did I do good ‘nough for ya babes…?”

You lied there unresponsive for a bit, causing him to move in closer to you before you looked into his eyes and smiled to him.

“Y-Yes baby~ Y-You did m-more than enough~” You responded a bit afterwards, huffing out as he sat there and stared down into your eyes. He slowly spreads out and lies down onto your shared bed, his arms resting you beside him while he lied down and spooned your smaller body inside of his.

“I-I t-told you~ I-I would l-love you no m-matter what~” You sigh out, your tone broken yet loving and caring for Yamato while he gave you the slightest look of worry.

“I-I know babes, but…are ya okay?”

“I’m f-fineeee~” You giggles to him, your fingers tickling at your chin while you felt his slight bit of scruff scratching at your fingers.

He sighs out and rests his head in his hand, his eyes watching as your slowly closed unconsciously out of exhaustion. He giggled a bit before pressing a smooth against your temple.

“I love you like how you love me babes…”

[awkwardsonicphotos]

So awhile ago I talked about how Sonic’s quills spike when surprised etc., but now I want to talk about the spines themselves. Hedgehog spines are actually super cool. They can be quite flexible due to how humid they are. Less humid quills are more brittle but still strong while more humid quills can have some give and bend. Quills can also freely bend and move in many directions thanks to the tipped bulbs in the hedgehog’s skin.

I took a video of Thistle to show how movable quills really are on a hedgehog.

So pictures of Sonic’s quills like this

And even Shadow’s one idle animation is pretty accurate to real hedgehog spines.

Spines are also built to stay in a hedgehogs body unlike porcupines which can detach. A hedgehog spine is so strong you can pick up a hedgehog by single spine and it won’t detach. A single spine can also withstand and bend against up to 200 times the force that would crush it. One scientist noted that he’d never seen a hedgehog with a broken or dulled quill. (Hedgehog quills can be cut from lawn mowers or hedge trimmers so always be careful and aware if you live near wild hedgehogs.)

While spines are used against predators they are also used for shock absorption. When a hedgehog is completely curled up their spines will absorb incredible amounts for force from falls from trees or high areas.

One study showed, “quills protected from a fall at 15m/s. Despite the velocity at impact, the animal survives unscathed due to the shock absorbing capabilities of its spines, which buckle under the load.” Because of this people have been studying hedgehog spines to better make helmets to protect people from concussions and head injuries.

Sonic’s drop dash could protect Sonic from large falls. (Too bad he mostly lands on his face lol)

One scientific paper I recently read did a study on the durability of hedgehog quills against repeated high velocity impact blows. It concluded that while low humidity quills were better at absorbing shock, repeated impact blows weakened the durability and broke the brittle quills. While more humid quills absorbed less shock but remained more durable and survived the repeated impacts with less damage. They said more tests would have to be done because most people only studied the strength of one quill and not all the quills working together like theirs did. But that their test may not be entirely accurate since they could not fully replicate the hedgehog’s skin/muscles working with the spines against the blows. As the bulb tip on a hedgehog's quills protect their skin from the quills being stabbed back into them after falls or hits.

But the results concluded that, “in certain conditions, Hedgehog spines can absorb as much, if not more, than industry standard impact-absorbing foam.”

Just makes me wonder how strong Sonic’s quills are as he uses his to break robots at high speeds. But him using his quills to protect himself while also using them to attack is pretty smart.

[hannie-dul-set]

HOME FOR THE BITCHLESS [6].

SYNOPSIS. wherein your friend offers a room for you to crash in while your dorm is being renovated, but fails to mention that your new housemates don’t know how to talk to women (oh, and they also have an ongoing bet about you, too).

PAIRINGS. choi soobin, choi beomgyu, lee heeseung, park jongseong, sim jaeyun, park sunghoon x female! reader. GENRE. housemates! au, rom-com, sitcom, reverse harem time baby. WARNINGS. almost drowning, a nauseating amount of stupidity, swearing, sex jokes, bribery, the boys are shirtless for most of the chapter. WORD COUNT. 5.2k.

TAGLIST. @cerealdreamwriter @tyongff-ff @dinonuguaegi @certifiedmoa @blueberrgyuu0 @primantha @blu3bell4 @nunugget @hoshi-is-ult-bbg @captivq @tocupid @seosalad @ddazed-lhs @gyuszie @mifuyuyo @error-cant-function @twocupsofsuga @flowerbe0m @dangerousconnoisseurbanana @laviesm @keikeu @elavin @chaemmie @rikisly @satsuri3su @gyugyubin @junhuicosmo @skzenhalove @luvkpopp @yansbolobao @emer-syn @eggomi @drunkinjake @soobiverse @deobitifull @haechanspudu @yawnzzn27 @7myoi @toothfa-1-ry @imsiriuslyreal @maimoirs @whippedforbeomgyu

NOTE. this is my favorite chapter so far i think i peaked here. the ppt scene was inspired by anthpo, my professors' tendency to use the socratic method to instill trauma in their students, and hoshi from seventeen's tiger agenda. also, most of this was written before i found out odi has passed 😔 fly high little guy.

MASTERLIST | NEXT >

CHAPTER 6 — the obligatory pool episode.

THERE’S A HEATWAVE IN TOWN. When you wake up, it feels like you got transported into Satan’s rectum. It’s sweaty and disgusting under your covers, and kicking them off does nothing to appease the hellish humidity inside your room. But when you roll over to grab the remote for the air conditioning, blindly press on the button, nothing happens.

You try again.

It’s not working.

You jolt up from your bed, hair a mess, and armpits too sweaty for comfort. A power outage. Of course, there’d be no power on the hottest day of the year.

“Fucking shit, I’m so hot,” you announce as you make your arrival downstairs. It’s only Sunghoon and Jay in the living room. They turn away from their game of jenga upon your arrival.

“Yeah, you’re super hot,” says Jay. “I mean, damn global warming sure sucks, huh?”

The wooden tower collapses. You stifle out a grunt of agreement. “Apparently some feeders in the neighborhood broke down,” Sunghoon informs you. “They’re still fixing it. The generator also wasn’t working when Heeseung hyung went down the basement to turn it on. I think we need to get that fixed too.”

Well, shit. That’s not good news. You give Sunghoon a pat on the head for speaking thirty-six words to you today before walking over to the kitchen. Last time you checked, there was a stash of popsicles in there. You’re pretty sure they haven’t been completely water-fied by the blackout yet.

For some reason, upon nearing the kitchen island, the fridge door is hanging open. You understand why when you step on something— er, someone— on the way towards your frozen delight. “Ow!” Beomgyu hisses from the floor. There’s remnants of cold wind filtering out from the refrigerator. Beomgyu has claimed it as his territory, and he’s glaring up at you from his spot. “Watch where you’re going.”

“‘Scuse me.”

You walk over him, hiking one leg across his torso before infringing upon his fridge monopoly to grab a half-melted melon bar. This isn’t exactly how Beomgyu imagined how it’d be like to be in between your legs. “I’m not sure if you’re dense or if you just don’t give a fuck,” he says, propping himself up by the elbows as you dig through a plastic bag.

“I really just don’t don’t give a fuck.” You snap a bite out of the pale green popsicle. “Want one?”

“Give.”

“Go get one yourself.”

“Fuck you.”

“I’m sure you’d love to.” You close the fridge door shut and make sure to kick his side with your foot when you cross over him again. He lets out a cry of pain. You turn back, satisfied with your cold exploits, but there is no wall separating the living room and the kitchen, so Sunghoon and Jay were witnesses to that entire conversation. “Do you also want a bite?” you ask. Their ears burn a couple degrees brighter before declining.

Was that an intentional insinuation? Yes. Do you enjoy destroying their composure on purpose? Also yes. It’s a new hobby you picked up since staying here, and it’s definitely one you’ll miss once your dorms get fixed and you’d have to move out. Jay and Jake are both particularly difficult to get through, but sometimes you can manage to fluster the former, just like now. Jake has been impossible so far. You’ll get him one day. He can’t be left unscathed.

This may seem terrible, and sometimes you do get a teensy bit conscientious when one of them starts crying or becomes temporarily incapacitated— until you remember they have this whole secret bet going on that definitely involves you, so you should be allowed to fuck around this much, right?

“Hey! Why don’t we have a pool party?”

The genius idea comes from Jake. You immediately run up back to your room upon hearing the suggestion to change into a bathing suit, pausing right before your door because you don’t want anyone waving the PD&J at your face for indecent attire again. So you throw on a beach kimono for the safety of your wallet. They emptied the jar out yesterday to buy some meat for a barbecue party that’s supposed to be scheduled this weekend, but looks like you’re gonna be having that sweet, sweet pork belly tonight right by the chlorine scent of the pool. 

You hurry downstairs, so fucking ready to be submerged in cool, refreshing water. But when you get to the courtyard— all the boys already loitering in and around the pool— you realize something. 

Something a little dangerous.

“You’re finally here!”

Oh no. They’re hot.

“We’re playing chicken fight, come jo—”

A rather scantily clad Sunghoon pushes an equally scantily clad Jake off Soobin’s unclothed shoulders and into the splash of the water. They are all bare-skinned, glistening wet, and although it’s not a bad sight to behold at all, it’s a discovery that you wish had remained undiscovered until you finally leave this damned house.

Listen. It’s not like you’ve never seen any of them shirtless or almost naked before. Jay was literally in his highlighter underwear when you first met him. But you were never put in a situation where you’re able to look at them closely because all those times have been meshed with something stupid.

It’s very easy to overlook their general attractiveness when they all act like third-graders, bitchless losers, scandalized Victorian men, or all of the above at the same time, in the same sequence. It’s really easy to forget that.

But Heeseung has his soaked tank top sticking to his skin and Beomgyu is pushing his wet hair back with a wide grin. Your housemates might actually be a tad bit more attractive than your prolonged, initial impression of them. This can cause a little internal trouble.

“Why aren’t you getting in the water?”

Soobin is the one that’s asking, having already left the water fight in the middle and is now looking up at you, chest deep near the pool’s edge. You look down. You’re not sure if he’s looking directly at you because you’re a little focused on his toned arms resting above the ledge, but if he is, then good on him for keeping up with his eye-contact practice hours.

“Hey,” you call out, crouching down and hugging your knees. “Do you work out?”

Silence. Pink scatters across Soobin’s cheeks. He coughs out an unintelligible response and disappears back under the water, quietly swimming away. Yes. This is how it should be.

Feeling a lot more at ease after confirming you still have the upper hand, you finally dip your legs into the pool and stretch out your back with a satisfied groan. Fuck, this is perfect. You’re honestly unsure how you’re supposed to transition back into life at the dorms when this house has a perfectly refreshing pool at your disposal. You don’t remember what life was like before this. You’d live here for the rest of your life if you could. But you have enough pride in your system to prevent you from extending your verbal contract with Jake. Two months. It’s a few days past the halfway point now. All you could do is enjoy this life of comfort as much as you can.

Until it gets ripped away from you in the form of Jake yanking your ankle and dragging you under the water with a horrifying splash. 

Before you know it, you’re gasping for air and grabbing the nearest thing your arms could reach out for so you don’t fucking drown— but when you finally manage to rise back to the surface, a loud inhale of air into your lungs, the person you managed to hold onto just happens to be Heeseung.

Heeseung, who’s looking down at you with wide, alarmed eyes while you’re wrapped around his waist. Heeseung, who shoves you back into the water out of panic and shock and whatever the fuck his problem is.

Jake rushes to pull you back up. Heeseung is dead to you.

“I’m sorry.”

He failed to kill you so he’s now down on his knees, timid palms on his lap, and head lowered in guilt.

“I am very sorry,” Heeseung repeats. “I am deeply reflecting on my actions.”

You’re sitting on the half log shaped chairs on the courtyard, still wet, arms and legs both crossed in petulance as Sunghoon quietly dries your hair with a towel from behind (no, you didn’t scare him into doing this). 

“Stand up.” He flinches at the tone of your voice. “Go get yourself dried up so we can finally start the barbecue.”

He’s awfully obedient. You watch as his slumped figure trudges back into the house. “Was that too much?” The back of your head hits Sunghoon’s bare stomach when you try to look at him. He’s holding your head in his hands with the damp towel in between.

“You’re always a little much,” he mumbles.

“Is that a bad or good thing?”

Sunghoon ponders for a moment, staring at your upside down face. “More is always better than less?”

You smile, snatching the towel from his hands and jumping off from your seat. “Good answer.” Two gentle pats of praise on his cheek set his skin on fire. Speaking of fire, you can already smell the scent of smoke and deliciously cooking meat wafting in the air, so you run over to Jay who’s on grilling duty, hoping to get an early bite.

“Can you pass me a plate?” he asks, flipping the cut up pieces of meat on the barbecue grill. “Thanks.”

“Gimme one.” You open your mouth, chasing after the slice of pork belly on his tongs until he brings it closer to your mouth for you to bite. “Holy shit,” you muffle out, hot air escaping from your lips.

“Good?” he asks.

“Very good.” You swallow the piece. “One more?”

He lets you snack on a bunch of well-done beef before they could reach the plate and at some point he mentions, as you’re tearing open a few packs of ramyeon to cook, that you look a lot like the curled up pieces of shrimp he’s currently grilling. You narrow your eyes at him, hand dangerously hovering above boiling water with a square of raw noodles. “Are you trying to say I look charred and have a terrible posture?”

“No.” Jay raises a piece of shrimp in the air, showing it off to you. “Doesn’t it look cute?”

Now that you’re looking at it a little closer, it does look kind of cute. Huh. “Would you eat me if I was a grilled shrimp?”

Jay thinks about it. He keeps thinking until you start smelling something burning. “I’d keep you safe in my pantry,” he finally answers. 

“So you’ll just let me spoil over and die?”

His expression drops. “Fuck.” The shrimp is unsalvageable. “I guess I’d have to eat you.”

The rest of dinner goes on as you expect. Jay and Beomgyu take turns over the grill until Jake thought he’d be naturally gifted over the fire and ended up making charcoal with the last pack of galbi (“It’s fine!” he said. “I’ll take care of it!”) and today’s heatwave suddenly becomes a whole lot hotter with the rising flame on the fucking grill right when Soobin brings out the marshmallows for dessert. It gets quickly defused by a fire-hydrant bearing Heeseung. Now your charcoal galbi has toxic frosting on them. This is the sign to move on to the next part of the program.

The set of log-themed chairs on the courtyard has a bonfire set-up at the center. Of course this unreasonably nice house has that. It’s already getting dark, ink seeping into the orange tintent sky. Jake decides to redeem himself after watching Heeseung fail to set up the chunks of wood for the nth time. “You don’t know how to start a fire? Dude, that’s so lame.” 

“You burnt all our remaining meat with those fire starting skills of yours,” Heeseung huffs, stepping aside for the self-proclaimed camping expert.

“You still ate them.” You’re pretty sure that isn’t healthy.

“Because you would’ve felt sad if I didn’t.”

“You’re both equally lame,” Beomgyu chides, plopping down beside you with a bag of chips that you unceremoniously dig your hand into. “You two haven’t even had your solo chapters yet.”

A flame erupts on the bonfire. Both of them turn to look at Beomgyu. “What?”

“What are we arguing about?” Jay joins in, looking a little too excited for the squabble.

“About the fact that I’m cooler than both Heeseung and Jake.”

Heeseung’s expression falls flat. “You dropped out to become a streamer.”

“Leave of absence! I took a leave of absence and I’m coming back next year!”

Sunghoon and Soobin are both just ignoring the mess, roasting their skewered marshmallows on the bonfire and you aspire to be that level of unbothered. “Let’s consult a professional’s opinion,” Jay suggests, and all their eyes immediately fall on you. “Who do you think is the coolest?” Apparently that professional is you.

“This is like asking which dwarf is the tallest midget,” you wrinkle your nose. “But alright. Why don’t we settle this like real men?”

“Arm wrestling?” Sunghoon jumps in.

“Cooking contest?” Heeseung pitches.

“Do you want us to beat the shit out of each other right now?” Jake’s eyes fly wide open, alarmed. “I don’t think that’s a healthy way of settling arguments.”

“The fuck? No,” you spit out. “Thirty minutes. Prepare a powerpoint presentation explaining why you’re the coolest loser. Convince me. Ten slides max. Good luck.”

Something about almost naked men scattered around your home premises, aggressively typing on their keyboards with so much concentration and determination is so funny. You’re enjoying the raw bag of marshmallows by yourself beside the fire, watching as Heeseung starts panicking when you yell out “Five minutes left!” and starts typing even more aggressively. It’s pretty entertaining. Why haven’t you done this before?

At some point Jake brings out a projector and a projector screen to the courtyard. Seems like the power is back on, and your classroom of death has been set in place.

“Okay. Who wants to go first?”

You’ve produced a clipboard while they were working very hard on the PPTs earlier, legs crossed, fire crackling in front of you, and you click the butt of your pen in intermittent seconds as you scroll your eyes from left to right across the six boys standing in front of you. Heeseung looks confident. Jay and Beomgyu, too. There’s sweat dripping down Sunghoon’s forehead and Jake is furiously flipping through his notepad like he’s cramming for a final exam. But the poor, unfortunate soul that just had to look away from your gaze is none other than—

“Choi Soobin.” He flinches, nearly letting go of the laptop he has clutched against his chest. “Give it a go. The rest of you sit down.”

He looks rattled. “I’m not— I’m not really good at presentations,” Soobin chokes out, and the rest disappear from his side.

You let your chin rest on your knuckles, leaning forward. “Are you forfeiting? Is this a forfeit I’m hearing?” He doesn’t respond. You sigh. “Choi Soobin, are you settling with a D? A tiny, miniscule, measly D?” Beomgyu lets out a snort. You shoot him a sharp stare. “The other Choi, please shut the fuck up unless you want me docking points from you. Choi number one, please start your presentation.

Beomgyu straightens in his seat and Soobin hesitantly clears his throat, turning towards the blank, white projector screen as he holds the clicker with a visibly shaky hand. “Good— good evening,” he starts. “My name is Choi Soobin, and today I was tasked to explain why I am the coolest housemate out of the six. The answer is I am not. I’m not very cool. But—”

When he clicks to the next slide, your clipboard clatters on the ground.

“But I do have a hedgehog, and that’s kinda cool?”

“Holy shit,” you exhale a breathy squeak, the picture of the rodent’s cute little snout occupying half of the large screen. Soobin cycles through a bunch of photos of his hedgehog and the various screams of delight you’re eliciting after each photo makes him smile a little bit more. “Look at that little guy! Oh my god. What’s his name? Where is he? Can I meet him? Please let me meet him, Soobin I am begging you, I will get on my knees for you.”

“His name is Odi and he’s currently living at my parents’ house,” he explains. “I’ll invite you sometime.”

“That’s cheating! This isn’t part of the guidelines!” Jake interrupts, pointing an accusatory finger at the photo of Soobin holding Odi in his hands. Your coos are unceasing.

Heeseung nods along. “Professor, I believe this is completely unrelated to our topic at hand.”

Soobin looks visibly offended. You straighten your expression and click your tongue. “Ahem,” you start. “As much as I believe that Odi is the darn cutest little shit to ever exist and I will die for him given the chance, Heeseung is right. Mr. Choi, I’m afraid I’d have to give you a C.”

He presses the clicker. The slide is back to the video of Odi running down a slide.

“Okay. B minus.”

Now it’s the one where he’s laying stomach-up on the floor.

“Fuck. God dammit. B plus and that’s it. Soobin, sit down. Heeseung, you’re up next.”

Soobin seems satisfied with the grade, dimples popping out with a smile as he takes Heeseung’s seat in the audience when the latter readies himself for his turn. He stifles out a cough-laugh, one corner of his mouth crookedly twitching upward, confidently sauntering up to the front with his iPad, and it’s mildly unsettling because he’s usually Nervous Boy #2. But it’s almost cheating how pretty his teeth are when he’s smiling. 

And apparently he’s aware of that fact. Because after projecting his title slide (LEE HEESEUNG 101: the anatomy of a Cool Guy™), the next thing that appears is actually a photo of his very charming smile, coupled with Chip Skylark’s “My Shiny Teeth and Me” as the background music for his scientifically-grounded explanation. The next slide is a zoom in of his eyes next to a photo of Bambi. He has a venn diagram. This is actually pretty compelling.

Heeseung is a good speaker. He’s really good. The rest of his presentation goes smoothly, finishing it up with a list of references in APA format. Jake and Jay give him a round of applause.  “If you have any questions, I’ll be more than happy to answer them,” he smiles.

“That was a fantastic presentation, Mr. Lee. I particularly liked the part when you demonstrated your ability to make very impressive, but also very alarming sounds with your fingers.” You flip through your very blank clipboard, nodding and throwing out hums at the times you deem appropriate. “I’d give you an A plus, but...I have one question for you.”

He nods. “Yes?”

“Heeseung, can you hug me?”

It evidently catches him off-guard, just as you predicted— persona of confidence crashing down like a waterfall as he stutters out, “Wh—what?”

You clear your throat. “Only cool people are able to hug me. I need to confirm that you’re cool.”

“I can hug you!” Jake declares right next to you.

You blindly reach out your arm to give him a head pat. “See. Jake says he can hug me so he must be pretty cool. Heeseung, you can do the same, can’t you?

There it is. He’s back to being nervous and you feel like your job here is done. “O–of course,” he stifles out, following it with a strained laugh of weak incredulity. “Why wouldn’t I be able to hug you?”

“Then prove it.” You stretch out your arms, ready to squeeze and be squeezed. “Give me a big ‘ol squeeze, pretty boy.”

You stay like that for ten seconds as Heeseung remains glued to his spot in front, eyes shaking and nipping at the dead skin on his lips. You let your arms fall back to your sides. “Okay. C minus. Next.” His expression quickly transforms into offense.

“I feel like this grading system is a scam.”

“No hug, no opinion. Sit your ass down,” you click your tongue, smacking him with the clipboard when he weakly trudges back and squeezes next to Beomgyu on the crowded seat to your left with the box of snacks occupying most of the fake log, even though there’s clearly enough space next to you because Jay already started walking to the front even without your instruction.

Jay does not give an introduction, only a rough clear of his throat and he opens his presentation with just a slide occupied with his face. Slide two is another picture of his face, only slightly zoomed out. The next one has the hashtag JWU. Then there’s a full body mirror selfie.

The rest of the presentation proceeds in the same manner— a wordless slideshow of what is possibly his Instagram feed and before you know it, it’s already over. “Okay,” you exhale, pressing your palms together in front of your lips. “I understand that you are indeed a very handsome individual, Mr. Park, but what does that have to do with the assigned topic?”

“The question is why I am the coolest one here,” he says. “I’m cool because I’m Jay Park.”

It falls quiet.

You finally break the silence.

“Shit, that’s a pretty compelling argument.”

“This is bullshit!” Sunghoon argues. “He didn’t even say anything! There was no discussion! He should be disqualified.”

Jay remains unfazed. He defends with irrefutable wisdom, “Sometimes pictures speak louder than words.”

“Damn.” You let your clipboard fall to your lap. “I’m giving you an A.”

“Fuck yeah.”

Your decision elicits outrage from some of your students. “How is he getting a higher grade than me?!” one of them raises.

“He’s getting a higher grade because he doesn’t think I have cooties, Heeseung.” 

Heeseung throws his arms in the air in defeated frustration as Jay takes his snug seat right next to you again, a victorious smile gracing his face. You run your eyes through your scratch paper once more, pen tapping at the edge of the board. “Beomgyu, do you want to go next?” you ask, which is a mistake on your part because he starts acting just as obnoxious as Heeseung, which— if anything— just triggers your desire to make him crumble to his knees.

He even pulls out a lecture stick, testing it out by snapping it at full length on his palm. Is the fucker trying to go after your role as professor? Where the fuck did his glasses suddenly come from?

“Alright,” Beomgyu begins, the first slide displaying the words Why Choi Beomgyu is the coolest Housemate. “First thing’s first, does anyone in the audience know what my name is?”

“Oh, me!” Jake raises his hand. “Choi Beomgyu!”

“Correct!” The next slide appears when he hits the screen with the stick, revealing his name in a large, bold font with large spaces in between each syllable. “Choi. Beom. Gyu. Choi Beomgyu. Now, I’d like to direct your attention to this specific syllable right here—” he draws a circle around ‘Beom,’ “—what does Beom mean?”

“Offense,” Sunghoon answers. Beomgyu’s face scrunches up.

“What? Fuck, no. Another meaning— oh! Yes, Soobin hyung?”

“Tiger?”

His eyes brighten. “Exactly!” 

The next slide is a photo of a tiger on a field of green grass, grooming its fur as Beomgyu passionately rattles on with fun facts about the animal. You have no idea where this is going. “Tigers are some of the most amazing creatures on the planet, they are the largest members of the cat family and are renowned for their power and strength. As the largest member of the cat family, Tigers are strong, powerful and one of nature's most feared predators—”

“Did you get that from a website?” Jay interrupts.

Beomgyu dismisses him. “Yes, I did, but that’s not the point. The point is—”

Next slide. A hit from his lecture stick. It’s more text. Beom = Tiger. Beom = Choi Beomgyu’s cute nickname. Tiger = Beomgyu. 

“We have discussed that tigers are the coolest animals in the world. My name has tiger in it. Therefore I am the coolest person here. End of presentation. Thank you.”

He drops the stick to the ground and is about to walk away with Jake’s applause, but your penetrating stare stops him right before he reaches the crackling bonfire. You scribble on the clipboard before letting it settle face-down on your lap. You look up at him. “Beomgyu, are you a furry?”

Beomgyu freezes. He lets your question settle in his system before voicing out a very loud, very crunchy, “What the fuck?”

“Is this your way of telling us that you’re a furry?” 

“No! What are you talking about?” he hisses. “I’m just saying that since tigers are cool, that means I’m also cool and—”

“So, you’re identifying with a tiger?” you cut him off.

He presses his lips together, cautious. “Yes…”

“Because you have the word tiger in your name?”

“Yes.”

“And because they’re cool?”

“Yes. We’ve established that alr—”

“Okay, so you’re a furry?”

“Ye— no!” he yells out. “I’m not a fucking furry!”

“Understood. You’re a furry in denial.” You write something down on the clipboard. Beomgyu’s shoulders slacken in defeat. “I’m giving you a B plus. Take a seat, Tigerboy.” Though he grumbles in distaste, he listens to you anyway, trudging deflatedly back to his seat next to the equally grumbly Heeseung.

There are two people left to be victimized. Jake looks excited, so you don’t want to indulge his positive emotions. “Sunghoon,” you call out with a pleasant smile. He squeezes his eyes shut and mutters something under his breath before forcing himself up the log without you having to tell him. “Good boy. Go set up your thing.”

Unlike the rest, Sunghoon doesn’t have a laptop or phone or flash drive with him when he awkwardly takes the presenter spot in front. He’s standing on the balls of his feet, arms tucked behind his back and lips tightly pressed together nervously. “Mr Park,” you pull down your clipboard. “You’re free to project your slides.”

“Well,” he coughs out. “The thing is.”

“Yes?”

He exhales loudly. “I don’t have any slides.” You raise a brow. “I don’t know how to use powerpoint.”

You look at him. “I see.”

“I don’t know how to use this projector, either.”

You pause.

“Okay. I understand.” He breathes out a sigh of relief. “Alright, next present—”

“Wait!” Sunghoon stops you. “I can still give my presentation, I don’t need any dumb slides! I’m just as cool, if not cooler than the rest of them, so you can’t just skip over me.”

“Mr. Park,” you start. “Unfortunately, one of the criteria for this presentation is the quality and organization of your slides. I do not see any slides being presented, Mr. Park. You may present next time once you’re fully prepared.”

“What about Jay?” he tries to reason. “He just showed you a preview of his camera roll!”

The man in question has his mouth hanging open, pausing in the middle of stuffing a nicely toasted marshmallow into his mouth. You let out a sigh. “He had philosophy, Mr. Park. Philosophy,” you explain. “Do you have philosophy? Are you confident that you can convince me with your words alone? Without the help of cute animals and pictures of your pretty face?”

At the mention of his face, his knitted brows of frustration quickly melt into faint pink hues dusting his cheeks. You sniffle a little, rubbing a finger under your nose as you flip through the next page of the clipboard that’s resting on your lap. “Meet me in my office after class,” you tell him. Sunghoon grunts and stomps back to his seat in defeat.

“This sucks balls.”

“You have quite a few options to pick and choose from here,” you hum. “Jake, you’re the last one up. Please tell me you have a presentation prepared.”

“I do, and it’s gonna blow your mind,” he grins.

“Looking forward to it.” You watch blankly as Jake runs up to the front to connect his laptop to the projector, an excited bounce in his every movement and you start wondering how you can shatter this one’s hopes and dreams.

He asks if he can start. You give him a nod. At the click of a button, something boomerangs into the blank screen with 2007 Windows graphics and animation. The atrocious mismatch of fonts say Jake Sim is the coolest one here and here’s why.

“Reason number one—” Jake starts his presentation, turning over to the next slide and your vision is attacked with more outdated graphics, more jarring transitions and animations. “—I’m super funny. Allow me to demonstrate.” He begins by clearing his throat. “What did the Italian chef get sent to jail for?”

“What?” you go along.

“Too much assault.”

An assault is also a very proper descriptor for his PPT aesthetic. An assault to your eyes. It’s like watching a car crash that you can’t look away from even if you try. Reason number two is that he has a great smile (he does). Reason number three is because he has a dog (he also does). Reason number four doesn’t exist because he miscounted and skipped over to Reason number five.

“And lastly, Reason number ten—”

He takes something out of his pockets. It’s a couple dozen bills being thrown into the air.

“I have a lot of money.”

The rest of the boys are quiet. Jake grows quiet too, chest rising and falling after that very enthusiastic presentation and his wide grin slowly melts into that muddled with nervousness and unease because you aren’t saying anything yet— just looking at him with stern eyes and a sharp gaze. “W-well?” he rasps. “How did I do…?”

“How much?” you ask. He cocks his head in confusion. “How much money do you have?”

“Oh.” Jake blinks, now understanding. “I don’t know but it’s a lot.”

Your eyes sparkle, posture straightening. “Will you give me some of that money?” The unease has left Jake and has now transferred to the other five boys around you. Oh boy. Oh no, their eyes all seem to be saying.

“Sure, why not.”

You clap your hands together. “Jake wins. Class dismissed. Good night.”

It doesn’t take long for chaos to break out.

Heeseung and Jay are demanding for a recount (there is nothing to count except the sweet, sweet cash you’ll be receiving) and Beomgyu accuses you of being a slave to capitalism (that should’ve been evident from how you tried to scam money out of them with nudity and a jar on your first week here). Soobin starts clearing up the projector set-up and Sunghoon is on his knees begging for another chance to do his presentation as you watch the digits on your phone screen bump up in real-time when Jake wires you a decent chunk from his bank account.

Another successful day at the residence. This heatwave is better than you thought.

HOME FOR THE BITCHLESS. © hannie-dul-set, 2023.

[hollybell51]

here me out. Adam Warlock and sex pollen.

It's ok - one

Navigation

Part two

Adam Warlock x AFAB!Reader

Marvel Cinematic Universe, Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 3 (outside canon)

Word count: 4.6K

Summary: foreign flora has an unexpected effect on your human physiology.

Content: sex pollen and associated DUBCON, fuck-or-die, smut, maybe very slight perviness (but I don't think it's creepy or really triggering), Adam being down bad, SMUT. Gratuitous smut. Non-explicit masturbation, handjobs (kinda), penetrative sex, unprotected sex, Adam's a virgin, reader isn't, bit on angst, unresolved, there will be part 2. Maybe some out of character-ness, but it's hard cause he only had like 10 minutes screen time so what I've written is based on my own interpretation and what I've read since I watched the movie

Notes: I hear you anon! I actually haven't done sex pollen before, though I always found it kinda fun, so this was new to me. I actually wrote a part 2 which I'll post with this, and that's much of the same xx. Also sorry I haven't done anything in ages, I've been super under the weather and busy so I haven't really had time lmao. Anyways, have fun with this!

“Hey, did you get through those notes?” Your voice echoed in the stillness of the forest, seeming to bounce off the lush petals of the giant flowers towering overhead. The local flora was all supersized, bigger than anything Adam had ever seen, and filtered the harsh light of the planet’s nearest star in sickly sweet hues of pinks, greens, yellows and even blue. 

“Breathable atmosphere, mostly docile wildlife. Predators are nocturnal.”

“Ok, just… How much longer are we gonna be out here?” 

Adam turned, letting the machete you’d armed him with – “bush bashing. Gotta learn those life skills, huh?” – hang by his side. You were panting, face flushed and beaded with sweat as you planted your hands on your hips and frowned at him. Even like this, speckled with bright yellow and orange pollen and clearly uncomfortable, Adam couldn’t ignore the odd swooping sensation in his gut. It was like someone was constantly pulling a rug from under his feet. 

He checked the time displayed on the tablet. “Two hours. Maybe less. Are you ok?” 

You groaned, but nodded and walked the few paces to stand beside him. “Goddamn flower dumped its load all over me. You sure this shit is breathable?” 

The atmosphere. Right, you were joking about the humidity. “If you don’t mind a bit of a steam,” he tried, smiling at the short bark of laughter the remark conjured. 

You tapped his machete-holding hand, jerking your head towards the wall of fleshy greenery. “Nice. Let’s just get this over with.” 

Adam simply nodded. The falling feeling had been replaced by something warm and sticky, the simple touch and your laugh flowing like syrup to sit low inside him. It had been like this for a while now, since he’d started really talking to you, spending time with you, noticing things about you. Like your hair, now dusted with fiery plant spores and stuck to your forehead, and how it caught the lights of Knowhere just right when you sat down beside him to eat. Or the little wrinkles around your eyes and mouth when you smiled – really smiled. The High Evolutionary had disliked wrinkles and other physical signs of ageing, viewed them as imperfect and a blight on existence. Adam could have stared at yours all day. 

“Can I see that?” 

Again, Adam stopped and turned. You were craning at the tablet, your hand absently running around the collar of your suit. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“Just… It’s really hot. Do you feel that?” 

Adam shrugged. Temperature wasn’t a huge concern to him, but you looked truly uncomfortable now. “Humidity can often make it feel hotter than it is.” 

“I know, but…” You grimaced, pulling your collar down further and wriggling your shoulders. “I feel really hot. Worse than before.” 

Adam frowned. He knew humans were often sensitive to their environment, much more so than was practical, but you seemed more affected than you should be. There were places on Earth hotter than the current reading, you’d told him that, so why were you–?

The comm on his wrist buzzed, Rocket’s voice crackling across the emergency frequency. “Warlock? You copy?” 

“Yeah,” Adam replied, still watching you. You were taking a semi-restrained drink from your flask, no doubt aware that it had to last the whole trek and back. 

“Is (Y/N) with you?” 

“Yeah, why?” As he watched, you held the back of your hand up to your forehead, then your cheek, then your neck. The suit still seemed to be bothering you. 

“Are you on the ground?” 

“Yes.” 

“You need to get out of there.” 

Adam didn’t think he was imagining the urgency in the raccoon’s voice, distorted as it was over the distance. He was in an entirely different corner of the galaxy, after all. “Why? What’s wrong?” 

A pause, then, “The flowers, they’re… uh, they’re kinda…” 

“They are very powerful aphrodisiacs!” Ah, Kraglin, just as worried-sounding as Rocket. “They can be harmful to humans!” 

Your other hand had joined the first on your face, but it didn’t seem to be doing a lot. You’d managed to get the zipper on your suit down, the neck pulled down to expose your shoulders and collar bones, the skin there just as flushed as your face. 

“What?” 

Rocket groaned, but Kraglin either didn’t notice or didn’t care. “Aphrodisiacs,” he repeated. “If she breathes the pollen her body temperature will rise until she develops a fever, and if she doesn’t have sex she could die.” 

His entire (relatively short) life, Adam’s mother – and pretty much everyone else – had been more than generous in pointing out that he was lacking, that he was slower than he should be, that he was not up to the same speed as they were. It was because he’d left the cocoon early, he knew that, but he’d never really felt that much slower. Maybe a little, but he’d always understood where he’d gone wrong and why. This was totally different. For the first time, Adam felt like he was lagging behind. 

“What?” he asked again. “What do you mean if she doesn’t have sex she’ll die?” 

“Makes ya horny, genius. Means what exactly that. Fuck or die.” Rocket took over, clearing his throat. “I’m reading off the notes, bit further down. It’s small, so you might have missed it. It says it works normal for most species, but humans are more fragile so…” 

Yes, that made sense. Adam couldn’t remember that in what he’d read, but he’d also been distracted by your legs slung across his and the little wrinkle that had appeared between your brows as you’d carefully packed your bag, sliding everything perfectly into place. He’d wanted to just reach across and run his thumb over the line, smooth it away forever. 

Now, that same bag thudded as it hit the ground and you frantically fanned yourself, eyes closed. There was no telling if you’d heard the conversation, but Adam didn’t want to waste time finding out. 

“Ok, I’ll, uh, get her back to the ship.” 

“She ok?” 

He paused for a moment, then settled on, “yeah, she’ll be fine.” 

“You got this, golden boy.” The radio crackled and fell silent, and that was that. What a great help. 

“(Y/N)?” he ventured, picking up your pack. “Did you get all that?” 

You nodded, wriggling to get the zipper further undone. Your back was beaded with sweat, and in any other circumstance, maybe Adam would have let himself dwell more on the soft contours of your spine, the roll of your shoulder blades, the harsh line of your bra strap in contrast to your smooth skin. 

“I’m really… It’s so hot, holy shit. Why’s it gotta be so hot?” 

“I think that’s the fever bit. Come on, we should get back.” 

You drew a sharp breath when his hand met your back, your whole body tensing. 

Adam withdrew at light speed. “Sorry, I didn’t–” 

“No,” you cut him off, “no, it’s fine. I’m fine.” 

“Ok.” 

It couldn’t have been more than half an hour since you’d set out, but it felt like a long time to get back. You were slower, for one, stumbling and muttering apologies whenever you became disorientated – which was often – and wriggling like your clothes were full of insects. Your breath came heavy, your skin becoming more and more flushed as you drew closer to the ship, and you looked so uncomfortable it made something twist inside Adam. 

“I heard it,” you panted, stepping clumsily over a root. “What Kraglin said.” 

“Oh,” was all Adam could think of. 

“You don’t— You shouldn’t— You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” 

“Hey, no, it’s ok. You’ll be ok.” 

“I’m– fuck, Adam.” 

“You’ll be ok, (Y/N). We can sort this out.” 

“I don’t wanna force you to do anything–” 

How cruel could the Universe be? Adam wondered as he patted your shoulder – then regretted it when you stumbled. You were the first person he’d really wanted anything with, the first person he’d thought about and imagined and, dare he say it, fantasised about, and now you were worried you were going to somehow hurt him or make him do something he didn’t want to. It was sweet, bitterly so, and ironic enough to feel like a punch in the stomach. If anyone should be worried, it should be him. After all, how were you ever going to look at him the same way after this? How was he going to look at himself the same way?

“I’m so…” You broke off as you emerged into the clearing where the ship was parked, a sob – relief or something else, Adam couldn’t tell – torn from you. 

Your legs were shaking now, your skin so hot Adam could feel it through the material of your suit. He helped you quickly aboard, avoiding your eyes as you peeled the suit from your shoulders and pushed yourself against the cool wall. The pollen still lay over your hair and clothes, insultingly cheerful and innocent. 

He sighed. “We should get rid of that.” 

“Huh?” 

“The suit. It’s got pollen all over it.” 

“Oh, right.” You said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, peeling the material from your body without a second thought. Well. Adam hadn’t expected that. Trying not to watch as you sunk down to the floor, he shoved the offending clothing into the disposal to be dealt with later. 

“You should probably take a shower. There’s pollen in your hair and… on you.” 

You nodded, legs pressed firmly together, arms spread over the cool surface at your back. “Yeah, sure, I… Can you… Fuck, Adam, I’m sorry I—” 

“It’s ok, (Y/N), don’t worry.” It felt like a ridiculous thing to say, but seemed to help a little. “What do you need me to do?” 

“I need…” You trailed off in a low whimper, your legs shaking now. You didn’t even seem to notice you were in nothing but your underwear. “I…” 

Again, that twisting feeling. “Do you want me to come with you?” 

“Yes.” The word fell from your lips with a relieved sigh, your head tipping back. 

So Adam went with you, helping you into the tiny decontamination spray shower, trying to avoid touching you as much as possible – not for lack of trying on your part. You seemed to gravitate towards him, pressing your body into his hands wherever they lay, leaning hard against him. Your breath was still laboured, your face still pink, but it seemed less painful now that you had direction and were free of the suit. You’d stopped wriggling, anyway. 

You sighed as you sank down to the floor, your fingers vice-like around Adam’s. His free hand found the taps easily, turning on a cool jet and directing it to the pollen in your hair. It flowed down your neck and shoulders, an orange river spiralling into the drain. 

“I’m sorry,” you said for what must have been the millionth time, your own free hand pressed between your legs, tension radiating from every line of your body. “I’m so sorry, Adam.” 

“Hey, no, don’t be. It’s going to be ok.” He crouched, ignoring the water as he reached across to lay a hand on your forehead. You practically whined at the contact, your fingers tangling even harder with his, skin hot despite the cold water. 

“(Y/N)?” he said softly. 

“Hm? 

“Rocket, uh… Rocket said the pollen’s an aphrodisiac.” 

“Yeah, I – fuck – I know. Trust me.” 

“He said it works, um, strongly on humans.” Adam paused, heart pounding. Why did it have to be you, of all people? And why him? “If you don’t,” he continued, “you know… The fever might get high enough to kill you.”

“Oh fuck, come on!” Water sprayed where your foot slapped the shower floor, your voice echoing. 

Adam had never felt worse about anything. “I’m sorry, I should have checked the notes first, I didn’t even consider–” 

You didn’t seem to care. “So now I’m gonna overheat and die?” 

“Unless you have sex. With someone.”

Your head thudded on the wall, a sob flopping wetly from your throat. “Fuck this. Does it have to be with someone? Will it work if I just… do it myself?” 

“Uh, actually, I don’t know. Maybe.” He paused, unsure, then, “Do you want to try?” 

“Yeah, yeah I—” You took a shuddering breath, blinking through the water dripping over your face. “Yeah.” 

Adam nodded, standing. “I’ll… I’ll be around. If you need anything.” 

“Thanks.” It was barely a whisper, so wretched it made his heart hurt. You released his hand, and he turned quickly to leave you alone, your relieved moan following him out the door. Adam didn’t like this, not at all. You weren’t quiet, though he supposed that wasn’t your fault, and he hated, really hated the heat your moans and gasped curses sparked in him. It was wrong, so wrong, and he should not be here. But he couldn’t leave you. 

“Fuck, fuck oh my God–” you cried eventually, a wet thud echoing through the wall. “Oh my– fuck fucking fuck!” 

Adam listened carefully, unsure whether or not he should…

“Adam?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I don’t…” You broke off in a sob, genuine fear lacing your voice. “Fuck.” 

“(Y/N)?” He stepped back into the shower, pausing only for a moment to take in the mess that was you. Your hand was still between your legs, thighs spread wide, panties crumpled in a wet bundle in the corner and your bra pulled halfway down your torso. In any other situation, it would have been the hottest thing Adam had ever seen. 

“I can’t… It didn’t work, I’m still so hot, why am I so goddamn hot?” 

Adam cursed as he crouched beside you, taking your free hand only a little gingerly. He cursed fate and circumstance, himself for not reading the notes properly, Rocket and Kraglin for not miraculously having a cure, and you for still looking so fucking beautiful while you were quite literally dying. He swore that if – when – he and you got out of this, he was going to burn that whole jungle. 

“We’ll fix this,” he assured you, gently rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand. 

You sighed at the contact, shifting closer. 

He frowned. “Is that…?” 

“Feels better when you touch me,” you murmured. 

That was going to haunt his dreams, he just knew it. This whole ordeal was going to haunt him, and probably not in the way it should have. He already knew he’d be seeing your shoulders silky with the water, your back slicked with sweat and the smooth curve of your thigh for months, let alone everything else. Wrong wrong wrong wrong, he reminded himself. 

“Do you…” He stopped. It was absurd. It was wrong. It was not something he’d ever live down. 

Your eyes were open, overly bright and dark with want, searching his face like he held all the answers. You were still so flushed, hair plastered to your forehead and dark with the water, lips parted and so, so pink. 

“Do you want to have sex with me?” 

“Yes.” The syllable was torn from you, ragged and desperate, followed quickly by another sob. You shook your head. “I don’t want to pressure you, don’t wanna make you do something you don’t want to.” 

He could have laughed. How were you still so focussed on that of all things? It brought that syrupy feeling back, only now it was darker, hotter, and tinged with guilt. 

“It’s ok,” he said softly. “(Y/N), it’s ok. Don’t worry.” He carefully moved his hand to your face, pushing the wet hair off your forehead. 

You leaned into it as you had before, your eyes closed. “Then yeah, I… Fuck, Adam, I want you so bad. You have no idea how much I want you.” 

It wasn’t you. Not really. He did his best to ignore the spread of the tingling warmth, his own want, as he helped you to your feet and did his best to dry you – again, as gently as he could. You just let him, casting your bra away when he paused at it, still struggling to stand and trying your best to get as close to him as you could.

Vaguely, Adam wondered how the hell this would actually work. He hadn’t had a lot of experience with much of anything before he met you and the other Guardians, let alone sex, and he had no idea if you had either. He somehow doubted you were in the same position as he was – you were gorgeous, after all, and so friendly it was a wonder he hadn’t ended up head over heels for you sooner. 

He really wished this wasn’t happening. He wished you really did want him, that he’d worked up the guts to ask Quill about Gamora and how that had gone before he’d taken off, then told you about his feelings properly. If he’d gotten that far, he was sure you’d have shown him how it went with the same patience and care you’d shown him everything, and he’d have liked to have taken his time. He’d have liked to kiss you, touch your pretty hands and hold you close, feel you all over and let you take the lead, tell you about the things he thought about you and everything you did to him. 

But it was happening, and you were probably not going to want to talk to him after it had run its course. At least you’d be alive.

You’d stumbled to a bed – one of the standard fold-out ones – beside him, and now he sat you down on its edge. You hadn’t released your hold, pulling him down with you, hands flying straight to the fastening of his own damn suit. 

“Is this ok?” you breathed, practically vibrating with anticipation. Your hands were flitting everywhere; his hair, his neck, along his jaw, his face, his own hands. You were very clearly trying very hard to make yourself slow down, wait, and Adam’s heart melted. 

“Yeah,” he said, “it’s all ok. You do what you need to.” 

A sigh of relief, a soft “thank you,” and then you were clambering into his lap and peeling his clothes off like it was nothing, your lips hot and hard against his. Adam hadn’t kissed anyone before, but he’d seen enough movies – most of them with you – to know that this wasn’t how it usually went. There was little technique or rhythm, more your tongue licking into his mouth, teeth occasionally knocking against his, so forceful he wondered if it was hurting you. 

You’d completely stripped him remarkably fast, and now your hands explored his shoulders and arms, trailing goosebumps down his chest and stomach. You fit perfectly over him, and he allowed himself to run his own hands up your back, down again, over your hips, finally settling in the curve of your waist. How often had he wondered what it would be like to hold you there? 

You moaned, the heat at your centre slick and wet against his own rapidly hardening dick. And now you were moving, too, grinding against him like your life depended on it and why had nobody told Adam it could feel like this? 

You’d broken the kiss, your lips swollen and even redder than they’d been before, your hands now in his hair, fingers tugging ever so gently. Adam had to stifle his own little sound of pleasure, bending his head to kiss at your neck and those collar bones he could look at forever. You gasped a “yes” when his tongue darted out to taste the skin, the faint tang of sweat mingling with the sweetness of the water that had dripped there from your still-damp hair. 

Your fingers tightened in his own hair, the delicious pull sending more heat straight down. You directed his head in that direction, too, arching your back until his mouth found the soft mound of your breast and he licked, then on a whim, sucked. 

“Oh, yes, Adam–” you panted, your movements becoming even more frantic. 

“Hm?” 

“Oh, that’s– that’s so good.” 

Did you know what you were doing to him? Adam supposed you didn’t, sucking again at a different spot, licking it, placing a kiss there, moving on. Rinse and repeat. 

Then your hands disappeared from his hair – that was a shame, but this wasn’t about him – and the next moment your fingers were wrapped around his cock and you were stroking it better than he ever had, your palm a million times softer than his, sliding easily with your own slick. 

“Can I?” you were asking. “Please, Adam, can I?” 

You could do whatever you wanted, Adam didn’t care. If he’d thought about it, he’d have realised that he actually liked the idea of you having your way with him, using him for your own pleasure, taking what you needed from him. But he didn’t think about it, he was too caught up in the smell and taste of your skin, the little sounds you were making, the wonderful movement of your hand. 

“Yes,” he breathed, “yes, go ahead, (Y/N). Please, just– just go ahead.” 

You were moving, rising on those wonderful thighs and your hand was moving too, something hot and slick rubbing over the head of his dick and then holy shit Adam’s mind went blank. If he’d thought you felt hot before, it was nothing compared to this. He groaned in unison with you as you sank down, taking him fully and gripping his shoulders, your breath fanning his face. You fit perfectly around him, squeezing spongy and smooth, and nothing could have prepared him for it. 

You braced yourself on his shoulders, rising off him – for a second he wondered if that was it, if you were pulling away – before you sank back down. You did it again, then again, and again and again until the only sounds in the room were your breaths mingling with his, your unrestrained little moans and his own half-stifled ones, the slap of your skin on his. 

Adam held you close, hands still anchored to your waist, transfixed by the silken heat of you and the brush of your chest against his, the bounce of your breasts and solidity of your body on top of his. 

“Feels so fucking good,” you panted. “No idea, so fucking – shit – good–”

“(Y/N),” he choked, unable to form a single coherent thought. 

“You’re so good, Adam oh my God.” 

Something was building in his stomach, he could feel it. The warm syrupiness was gone, something hotter and harder and so tight coiling in its place, growing with each moan and sigh and whispered curse from you. It was so much, almost too much, and half of his brain wanted you to stop right there. But the other half, the half that created those late-night daydreams, real dreams, half-formed ideas and scenes in his mind… That half wanted you to go harder, slam your hips down faster and say it again, tell him he felt good, he was doing well. 

“Making me feel so fucking good,” you murmured, as if you’d read his mind. “You’re so… ah, fuck, Adam, I’m so close–” 

Close to what? he wondered vaguely, but the praise was spinning that coil faster, faster, tighter and faster until– 

“Adam, oh, Adam—!” 

It snapped, electric and white hot and rolling up his spine like a damn shockwave. He could hear you crying his name, your movements slowing and your body spasming around his. He’d cum before, of course he had, but never like this. That had been small and so quick he hadn’t even realised what was happening until he was spilling into his hand or the bedsheets, confined to his dick, never spreading through his whole body and never with that glorious buildup. This was something else entirely. 

After what felt like an age, Adam’s mind returned to his body. You were shaking, collapsed against his chest, your arms wrapped around his shoulders and his around your waist, your face pressed into his hair, his own nestled in the junction of your neck and shoulder. You fit so perfectly against him. 

“Are you alright?” he asked, his voice husky even to his own ears. 

You didn’t lift your head, but he felt you nod. 

“Are you sure? You’re shaking.” 

“Yeah,” you sighed. “I’m fine. I feel better, actually. How about you?” 

Adam just nodded, unwilling to move. He could feel himself softening inside you, but didn’t want to lose the warmth and the feeling that he was yours, that he was fully with you. But… “Do you want me to stay?” 

No response, then a deep sigh. “Yes,” you whispered. 

Adam ignored the butterflies and the spark of hope that conjured, opting instead for practicality. He could feel the rapidly cooling sweat on his own back, the coldness of your damp hair, the mess of spend around the place where your body swallowed his. 

“I’m going to clean you up,” he said softly, “then I’ll come back. Alright?” 

“Ok.” 

Slowly, reluctantly, he lifted you off himself and set you down further back on the bed. You whined at the loss of contact, curling in on yourself and shivering. But you weren’t so hot anymore, the flush had been replaced by what he could only describe as a glow and the overly bright look had vanished from your eyes. You really did look better. 

After a moment’s hesitation, Adam rose and turned away, making for the cabinet where the medpacks and other supplies were kept. You wanted him to stay. You’d told him he felt good. You’d held him afterwards, let him hold you, and had made no move to make him leave. If anything, you’d looked disappointed when he’d broken the contact. But still, you weren’t yourself. 

He paused, a horrible thought crossing his mind. Was he going to end up like Quill? Hopelessly chasing a woman who didn’t feel the same way about him? He hoped not, he’d seen how miserable the man was. But you weren’t hard the way Gamora was -- as much as Adam knew her, anyway, which wasn't much. You were soft and open, and you did care about him, he was sure of it. At least you had. 

Shaking his head, Adam returned to the room with a damp cloth in hand. 

“(Y/N)?” he asked softly, pausing at the door. No answer. 

You were where he’d left you, he saw as he stepped around it, still curled up on your side. Your eyes were closed, the rise and fall of your ribs deep and even. Asleep. The surge of tenderness surprised him, strong enough that he was sure he’d been swamped by an actual wave. You really were beautiful, even damp and naked, lips swollen and hair mussed. 

He was careful not to wake you as he brushed the hair off your face, wiped away the worst of the mess, and then pulled a blanket over you. He wondered briefly if he should stay with you, slide down beside you and wrap his arms around your waist, warm you with his body heat and be there to tell you it was all alright when you woke up. 

You shifted, heaving a deep breath and adjusting your position minutely, and that decided it. Adam couldn’t disturb you, as much as he wanted to, and there was still your suit and discarded underwear, not to mention the original task. On an impulse, he bent and placed a soft kiss on your forehead before turning, scooping his own clothes off the floor and making for the shower. 

[bellysoupset]

Now I need a fic about the boxing class! I was thinking maybe Jonah ate either something bad, or he ate too much, or he was just feeling kinda weird before the class but didn’t think anything of it. And somebody in class either accidentally or on purpose punched him in the stomach(if that happens in boxing idk). I’d also like it if the whole fic was from Jon’s POV, but if you feel differently that’s fine to.

If for any reason you don’t feel like writing this no hard feelings.

"Faster," Bella panted, raising her arms as guards and glaring at Jonah. The man huffed, wiping the sweat from his forehead with his forearm.

"Bells-"

"Faster!" She scoffed and Jonah gritted his teeth, throwing a harder punch at her. Bella moved away quickly, bouncing on her feet and opening a smug smile, before kicking in his direction.

Jonah was too slow, too tired and new at this, to avoid the kick and he crumbled to his knees with a pained gasp, clutching his stomach, "fucking-" a burp snuck up and Jonah slammed a hand over his lips when it turned loud and wet. He gulped down, "fuck you, Bella."

"Sorry," Bella crouched down next to him, still shaking slightly with a chuckle, "I didn't think it was going to hit that high-" she removed one of her gloves in order to plant it in his naked back, "sorry."

"Uhm," Jonah panted through the nausea and finally straightened up, sitting on the mat, "I think I'm done."

"It's the end of the class," Bell pointed out, removing her other glove, "I didn't mean to be so rough, I'm really sorry."

"It's fine," Jonah removed his own gloves, getting up, "I'll see you outside?"

"Yep," Bella jumped up quickly and they walked out of the mat, to the different locker rooms.

Jonah's easy attitude slipped off the minute he was alone in the bathroom. He moved to one of the stalls and took slow, measured breaths. If he was honest, this had little to do with Bella's kick straight to his gut. He had overdone it at lunch - not his fault the cafeteria served salmon for the first time in the month! - and all the jumping around in the gym had already been making him nauseous, the kick had only taken it up a notch.

He leaned back against the thick plastic wall and forced up a couple burps, muffling them in his fist. His stomach churned uneasily and he could taste lunch all over again, causing him to shudder, but the small release of air helped a bit and Jonah gulped down the watery sensation in his mouth.

Feeling like it was more or less safe to leave, Jon headed to the shower area.

Bella was waiting for him just outside the gym, clad in tight jeans, combat boots and an oversized biker jacket, her long curly hair was out of the braids she sported during class and limp and wet. She had that familiar frown on her face, that Jonah knew by now was just her face and lit up as she saw him.

"Hey, took you forever," Bella teased him lightly, reaching without thinking to push a humid coil from his hair away from his eyes, "do you wanna get dinner?"

It was a court day, meaning Leo was going to get home super late, so Jonah shrugged, "yeah, sure," he looked around, "you're driving today?"

"No, Luke dropped me off, he said I should call," Bella moved so she was side by side with Jonah and they started walking down the street, "if you ask me, I think he's boycotting my car."

"As he should, that's a relic from the triassic period," Jonah laughed, causing her to pout.

"Don't say that, she's my baby," Bella groaned, "I drove her here all the way from New Mexico more times than I can count, she's a trooper."

"That means she's probably a safety hazard," Jon rolled his eyes, trying to ignore the fact the heavy feeling from before was returning, sitting in his stomach like a brick, "how's work coming along?"

Bella was incredibly easy to talk to, she never took any of Jon's curt answers to the heart and offered some of her own straight to the point, no nonsense jabs.

As they walked to the restaurant they chatted about her job — she had a big project happening and everyone was super stressed about it and taking on jobs that weren't theirs to try and speed the process along —, Jonah shared some of the stories from Europe and got chewed up for treating Angie like a little kid.

"She's turning eighteen in what, a couple of months?"

"October," Jonah grumbled, holding the restaurant door open for her and Bella walked in backwards so she could keep looking at him.

"Less than six months then," she grabbed his forearm to pull him to the table she had already decided on, "I get that you're still finding your footing, but she's a big girl."

"She doesn't act like a big girl," Jonah scoffed, sitting down in front of Bella and grabbing the menu so he could avoid her piercing gaze, "she's a baby."

"She's spoiled," Bell's voice was matter of fact and Jonah looked up to glare at her, only to realize this was not a discussion he was going to win. Bella was the only one who'd ever tell him something this and stand by her opinion, Leo and Vince were both too polite to say it and Luke had no ground to even recognize it, Wendy had brought it up only once and raised her hands in defeat when Jonah prickly about it. Bella didn't give a single fuck.

He sighed and looked back down.

None of the plates looked remotely appetizing. Jonah squirmed in his seat as he felt his pants digging in his stomach, flipping the page of his menu and avoiding looking at the pictures. His belly let out a loud whine, although the restaurant's noise covered it up and Jon felt his gut bloat up a bit more.

"You don't have to glare holes in the menu, Jon," Bella rolled her eyes and reached in to grab his wrist, until he looked at her, "she's spoiled, I can say because I married the male version of her."

"Don't say that," Jonah groaned and Bell smiled, pulling back her hand.

"I don't mean it like that, I mean I married someone who was spoiled as well. And trust me, you gotta let her mess up on her own and not try to Yoda her through life, otherwise she'll make her mistakes later, when the consequences are bigger and much less understandable. You're not making her a favor by doing that."

"When you put it like that," Jonah sighed, shutting the menu, "I'm not really hungry."

"I'm starving," Bella put hers aside as well, "I'll order a big one and we can share, how about? This way you're not ordering a full one just to eat half of it?"

Jon would rather not eat anything, but he knew saying that, especially after they had spent two hours exercising, was going to raise a red flag for her. He nodded, "yeah, alright. What are you ordering?"

"Ribs," Bells opened a smile, "you want a beer?"

Fuck no, Jon flinched at the thought and shook his head, "nope, I... Uh," he opened the menu again, "I'll have an orange juice."

A waiter approached their table and Bella told him the order, causing Jonah to frown as she asked for two juices, "you don't have to not drink as well, Bell-"

"No, it's fine," she shushed him with a handwave that caused the waiter to chuckle, "I think that's all, thank you."

Bella launched herself into telling him all the gossip from their gym and Jonah was enthralled enough he momentarily forgot about his upset stomach, only to be starkly reminded of it as the large plate of glazed ribs was put before them, as well as the two glasses.

The smell was overpowering and Jonah leaned as far back as his chair allowed, gulping down nervously, while Bella served herself.

His stomach churned at the sight of the ginger tearing into the meat and Jonah breathed slowly through his mouth, reaching for the juice, hoping he could push everything further down.

As he was too busy fighting the growing nausea, Jonah was barely paying any attention to whatever Bell was saying, until she quirked her head and waved in front of his eyes.

"Anyone home?" She raised her eyebrows, "you zoned out on me."

"Sorry," Jonah gulped down, moving once again and tugging on the waistband of his pants. He really wanted to undo them, they felt like they were cutting in his tummy, "you were saying?"

Bella squinted at him, picking up a rib and pushing the plate his way, "you're not eating."

"Not hungry," Jonah shrugged and she frowned.

"Well, I can't eat all of it, at least get a bite," Bella licked the sauce off her fingers, "you heard about Vince's new little friend?"

"Little-" Jon grimaced and muffled a burp against his had, "little friend? He got a cat or something?"

"No," Bella snorted, "it's a coworker that he's made his mission to adopt. Luke hates him, it's all he complains about now. That Max this, Max that, Max is short, Max is annoying, Max is taking up too much attention, Max is a jerk-" Bella's amusement was evident in her words, "he's like a little kid."

"Max annoying Luke already puts him in my good graces," Jonah forced a smile, which quickly turned sour when Bella chugged the rest of her juice and gestured to the half eaten plate.

"I can't eat anymore, all yours."

Jonah genuinely tried to eat, grabbing the secondary set of fork and knife and tearing a rib apart, but he couldn't even bring it up to his lips. The smell was too strong and his queasiness turned up a notch, causing him to gag and drop the fork back down, turning his head.

"Knew it," Bella sighed, rolling her eyes, "you're not half as good an actor as you think, Jon," her voice was sarcastic, but still kind and she got up with a sigh, circling the table to pat his arm, "c'mon, big guy, let's get you out of here before you cause a scene."

"If you knew I felt like shit why didn't you say something?" Jonah groaned, grabbing his ditched jacket and leaning into her arms, as Bella guided him towards the door.

"Why didn't you?" She scoffed, helping him out, "stay here, I'll get the bill."

Outside the air was much colder and there wasn't the overwhelming smell of food, but his stomach wasn't feeling even a little bit settled. Jon moved away from the entrance, to the other side of the street, and braced against his knees, taking deep breaths.

He could feel his lunch flipping inside of him and Jonah coughed weakly, blowing out a deep belch and staring at his shoes. It felt like just ten seconds passed, but he knew it was longer, when Bella wrapped an arm around his back and helped him straighten up.

"I'll drive you home, c'mon," she planted a hand on his chest, bracing him and Jonah let out a groan, feeling humiliated.

"Sorry..." His stomach let out another loud growl and he didn't bother muffling the belch, only turning his head. It was sickeningly wet and he groaned under his breath, "gross..."

"Don't be stupid, you're not gross," Bella reprimanded him sharply, rubbing his back. She was quiet for a second, before saying in a smaller voice, "were you sick already...? Is this because of the kick?"

"No," Jonah pressed a hand over his lips as they kept walking back to the gym, "lunch..." his mouth watered at the thought, "lunch just- just isn't- Sitting well..."

Bella moved her hand down, from his chest to his stomach and Jon felt his whole face burn. Not only a belly rub from her was mortifying enough, but it was even more so in public.

The street was deserted though, they had already left the area with the most commotion, and Bell's fingers against his bloated stomach managed to work up another thick belch. It burned his throat, bringing up a splash of sickness with it, that Jonah gulped convulsively.

"Fuck," he whined, feeling clammy and jittery, "I'm gonna be sick."

"Now or-"

She never finished her sentence, because Jonah's grabbed on her shoulder to push her out of the way and bent in half, just in time to redecorate the patch of sidewalk they were on.

He groaned loudly, wrapping an arm around his upset stomach and feeling the gurgling inside, struggling to spit the ropey saliva.

"Aw, darling," Bella's voice was incredibly gentle and she had jumped back, but the tip of her sneakers were covered in white specks of the chunky vomit. Yet, she was rubbing his back, unbothered, "it's alright, get it up, Jon..."

Jonah's stomach gave another growl and he nearly went down with a unproductive heave, his ears going totally deaf for a second as he struggled to breathe and coughed up another disgusting splash of sick. He moaned, burping softly and squeezing his eyes shuts, hearing his heart in his ears, drowning all noise out.

"Jon?" Bella's voice filtered through after a minute and he realized she was almost hugging him, to keep him standing, "Jonah, you're alive over there?"

He coughed, burping once more and nodding, finally opening his eyes. It was a gruesome sight and he let out a groan, immediately closing his eyes again, "Ew... I'm sorry..."

Bella's voice was lighthearted and amused as she patted his back, "please, in the Atwood scale this was barely a seven," her pats forced up another belch, "hold on me, let's move around..."

Slowly she maneuvered him away from the disgusting puddle and Jonah let out a yelp as he felt Bella's hand go in his front pocket, "that's sexual harassment, Bella."

"You must think my standards are incredibly low if you think I'm making a move on you given what I just watched," Bella snorted, then he heard his car key's clicking and his car beeping.

Jonah opened his eyes, wiping at his mouth and the clammy sensation, taking a deep breath, "well, yeah. You married Lucas."

Bella let out a cackle, shoving his arm, "get in the car, asshole. I'm gonna drive you home."

[jassy-kpop]

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Gamer fun

Warnings⚠️: MDNI !!!!! NSFW!!! doggie style, biting, mentions of getting high and drinking, spitting, choking, fingering ,aggressive fucking, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), spanking, degradtion and hair pulling

Summery ✏️: You and Han are gamer buddies, they get super high and faded, and they end up saying "stuff" about each other and stuff ends up getting intense 😀 (friends to lovers ig ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯).

POV: 1st point of view readers pov 😝

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It's currently 12:03 on a hot summer night, it was so humid that no amount of air conditioning could help. The air felt sticky and smelled of sex, the neighbors were going at it again, but we didn't care, our top priority at the moment was getting faded and killing our enemies on Call of Duty.

Han had recently got out of the shower, so his hair was still damp, hell, there were still droplets dripping from it, but if anything, seeing how focused he was on the game made me so fucking horny .

"Han, why don't we take a small break, and drink some soju ?" I asked , without a care in the world, the week obviously affecting my , normally, clear thinking.

Han looked at me and raised an eyebrow, because he knew I wasn't much of a drinker. He just shrugged, sat down his controller and stood up, and ,of course, I followed. We went to his kitchen to search for soju, he didn't have any, but he did have vodka .

"Be careful, this stuff is strong," he said while pouring and handing me a vodka filled shot glass. I nod and then downed the alcohol, the burn it provided caused me to cough a little before putting the ,now , empty shot glass down ,only to find Han handing me a blunt he just rolled. "Do you want the first hit, Tits?"

"Of course I do, " I take the blunt from him and lit it, "also ,i thought i told you to stop calling Tits?" I took a long hit of the burning weed, while looking at him playfully.

"Can't help it when you have tits that good ,baby" he said, an obvious seduction in his tone. "I mean come on ," he scoffs, "you have the best boobs in town, and I mean hey, at least I'm not calling you 'slut' or 'whore'"

I rolled my eyes playfully and handed him the blunt for him to puff, " Jokes on you i find being called that hot, and if you keep calling me 'tits' ,I might just have to call you 'dick master' or some shit" I laughed

"At least I'd live up to the name" he smirks and I scoff.

"don't be such a dickhead, I doubt you're that good in bed. " I said sarcastically

"Don't believe me , Tits? Then I guess, I'll just have to show you. Ya up for it? I'll show you why you should call me that, baby" he said as he leaned closer to us, the smell of vodka and weed on his breath , heavily intoxicating. I couldn't help but press my thighs together, as the vodka and weed mix started to take over my mind.

"Fine, show me. Show me how 'good ' you are in bed.....but if you don't live up to your words, you have to buy me, new Call of Duty skins" I smirk, confident in my words.

"Okay, bet" Han had let out a gowl and pulled me by the arm and kissed me roughly. The wetness between my legs intensifies, and my clit started to throb with neediness, "fucking slut, I bet this is the only reason you came over tonight — all for little bit of cock? Fucking pathetic," he bends me over the island counter ,lifted my skirt and slapped my ass so hard that there was a red spot.

"Fuck!" I moaned ,I tried to bury my face into my arms but Han grabs me by the hair and lifted my head up and forced my mouth open, he spit in my mouth and it caused my pussy to gush with arousal.

"Swallow it , c'mon show me how much of a good girl you are Tits" he smirks sadistically, as i swallowed his spit before forcing my head onto the counter and ripping my panties off of my body. "Look at this sight," he coo'd " such a juicy fucking pussy, all this for me?" He licks his lips at the sight of my arousal dripping down my thighs.

" Yes, it's all for you, Han, just for you," I sighed out as he started to rub my clit, collecting my slick onto his finger and gently pushing one inside my awaiting hole.

"Such a tight pussy, baby— who knew a slut could be so tight? Lucky me" he says as he adds another finger to double my pleasure, my eyes rolled back as strained moans flew from my mouth with each curl of his fingers into my g-spot. A whine came from my throat as I inched closer to my orgasm, only for it to be ruined by him removing his fingers.

"W-why?! Please, p-please keep going, I-i was so close , Hannie!" I throw a little tantrum, as the knot in my stomach started to loosen.

"if you keep being a brat, then you won't cum at all, got it? " Han growled into my ear, and soon came the sound of clothes ruffling, and the sound of it hitting the floor.

"H-han? W-what are you —" he interrupts me by sliding inside me, fully bottoming out, his tip pressed against my cervix, "fuck!" I moaned in pleasure.

"fuuckk, even when I finger fucked you you're still so fuck'n tight" Han groans and started to gently grind his dick into, trying to get used to the vice like grip I have on him before pulling all the way out and slamming back in, gripping my neck with his hands as I let out strangled moans of pure pleasure with each hard thrust.

"H-han, fuck , you're cock— so b-big, big, oh my God!" Each thrust was so hard that the sound of his balls slapping against me filled the room, my eyes rolled back and drool started to drip from my mouth as he moves his hand from my neck back to my hair, he gripped my locks and pulled me back into him, my back arching, my lungs breathless, as his cock bullies my pussy .

"Yeah —fuck, I told you , you'd like it slut, going cock dumb on her friends dick, shit, this pussy is so good, i think i might just have to fill you up" he teases, his pace reaching an animalistic one, I tighten on him, my pussy trying to milk him for all he's got.

"Han, fuck, H-han, please, c-can't hold it back anymore, g-gotta cum ,please, please" I begged as tears of pleasure filled my eyes as the knot in my stomach grew tighter and tighter as his cock slammed into my cervix.

"Fuck, who would've thought my friend was such a a whore for cock — g-god mh— I'm gonna cum, fuck, where do you want it ,Tits?" Han asked while his cock started to twitch. His hand tightens in my hair, causing me to let out a breathless moan of pleasure.

"I-inside , fuck— please, please cum inside, I'm begging you please,* I moaned a slick drips down his cock and my thighs, "please, I-i'll be such a good girl for you" i moaned out.

Han groaned and with a few more harsh thrusts his hips stilled, "Fucking take it slut, take it all like the dirty bitch you are!" he moaned as he spills his load. The feeling of his warmth filling me caused me to cum, squeezing his cock hard, trying to milk as much of his cum as I could for my greedy pussy.

" Fuck that was amazing," Han moaned as he came down from his explosive high, "wanna go again?".

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@hyunsvngs , @changbunnies & @felixs-voice-makes-me-wanna I wanna know your opinion on it and if I did good ☺️

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[believesthings]

How Can Anybody Stay The Same? // Ted Lasso x Reader

A/N: A story inspired by the JP Saxe song “Changed”

Warnings: a fuck ton of angst. A lot of mentions of Michelle

Ted had been trying to get used to calling London “home.” He rolled it around in his head, rolled it around on his tongue. The way he figured it, it’s like a new pair of boots. He needs to break it in. And he’s getting there, he can feel it a little more with the passing days.

His story has always been that he took this job as a way to give Michelle the space she needs; and of course, to a degree, it is. But whether he admits it, consciously or subconsciously, he’s also here for himself.

He’s spent so much of his life wearing different hats: Father, Husband, Coach. Each of which he takes great pride in, but in the shuffle of all of it he worries that he’s lost sight of just being Ted. He’s been learning the parts of himself that he never got to know. Being married to your high school love, growing up as a unit, it’s… different. He meant when he said that wouldn’t change a single moment of it. Of course, he did. It was a wonderful marriage and brought him Henry, the one part of his pedigree he could never find fault in. But since he and Michelle were in tandem for so long, it greatly affected his decision making. Every time he had to make a choice, she was his first priority. Number one, always. Then Henry. Then, and only then, after all the facets of their feelings were considered, he would consider himself.

With London, came a change in titles: Father, of course. Coach (although a different kind of football that he was still adjusting to) and now, freshly added to the list: ex husband. That was a pair of shoes that he never thought would fit. He thought he was good at it, it was all he had known for such a long time. Who was he when he wasn’t the husband of Michelle? That was part of what he came to London to know. While the title of husband fades, the focal point of Ted comes in sharper focus. Father, Coach, Friend, Tea Hater, possibly a functioning alcoholic, which is something that he really should stop and examine about himself one of these days but not now.

He’s growing into the shoes. And the word home is getting more comfortable on the tongue. The more he lets go, the more room he can make for himself.

Of course, this doesn’t all happen overnight. You gotta start somewhere. Ted was no exception. And lord, he started at rock fucking bottom.

When Ted first came to London, he could always tell if he was going to have a good day based on the temperature of his hands.

The two most common phrases about the weather that he heard growing up were, “it’s not the heat that gets you, it’s the humidity” and “it wouldn’t actually be that cold if it wasn’t for the wind.”

People told him that London wasn’t actually known for having super hot summers or frigid winters. One of the first interactions he had when he landed was a man shrugging his shoulders and saying “Mate, London is just London. All the time.”

Ted still wasn’t quite sure what that meant.

He figured the London equivalent was “it wouldn’t actually be that cold if it wasn’t so damp.” The rain often had a way of making it seem colder than it was. And it was a big adjustment for him when it came to trying to get over his wife.

“Aw. Heck.” Ted huffed, seeing his breath in front of his own face. It was early in the morning. He went to bed far too late and he awoke to snow blanketing the town. Now to top it off, he left his civics textbook in his car and he couldn’t seem to unlock it to get a hold of it.

“Um, excuse me?”

Ted jumped, looking up to see a blonde girl he had never seen before.

She looks at him expectedly before saying, “Is there a reason you’re trying to break into my vehicle? I can promise you, I don’t have anything interesting in there. Unless you’re looking for some loose change and some Sonic peppermints.”

“I’m sorry, you seem to be mistaken. I’m trying to get into my car. I left my textbook right there in the backseat.” He steps closer, peering into the window and finding… nothing. He looked back at this mystery girl like she had just performed a magic trick.

He looked around to find the parking lot full of cars, but they were the only two people in it, which seemed… odd. Maybe this was a dream. That had to be it, he was still in bed and he would wake up any minute.

The mystery girl pulled out her own set of keys and unlocked the car, reaching in to pull out a pair of gloves. He took a minute to examine her profile. Snow in her hair, cheeks flushed from the cold. She was beautiful. Ted couldn’t believe he’d never met her before.

“Come on now, you didn’t mention you had gloves in there. If I had known that, I wouldn’t have given up so quickly.” It wasn’t his best, but he was freezing, tired and still not entirely sure he wasn’t dreaming.

But, she laughed. And Ted thought it might have been the sweetest sound he’d ever heard.

“Well, I’d offer to share with you but I only have one pair so we’d both have one gloveless hand.”

Ted figured that wouldn’t be so bad. He thought about saying something about holding their gloveless hands together to stay warm but that seemed entirely too much for a girl whose name he still didn’t know, so he kept quiet.

“May I?” She was holding her hand out to him. Oh god, was she actually going to try to hold his hand? He found himself nodding, dazed. Even though he didn’t really know what he was agreeing to.

He tried to stifle the jolt he felt in his stomach at the feeling of her skin touching his. She grabbed his own car keys out his hand, pressing the car alarm button and Ted practically jumped 10 feet in the air.

He whipped his head around to see his own car, the exact same color, make and model as this mystery girl’s vehicle, two rows over, covered in snow. “Huh. I guess in all the lack of sleep last night, I forgot where I parked. I promise I’m not the type of guy that would normally go snoopin’ around a woman’s car.”

There was that damn laugh again. “I believe you. Despite all evidence to the contrary, I believe you. You have a very honest face.” She holds out her hand again, “I’m Michelle.”

Michelle. The mystery woman has a name.

“I’m Ted.” He holds out his own hand, freezing fingers meeting freezing fingers, clasping around each other.

“Nice to meet you.”

What the hell were the odds that they would be the only two in this freezing cold parking lot, both driving the same type of car, both trying to get into said cars at the exact same time?

“Yeah, you too.”

So yeah, when he comes to London, he still misses her, but only on the days when his hands are cold.

———

Denial. That was what he felt the first time that Michelle told him he had changed. If anything, he figured she had changed. She was the one who didn’t laugh at his jokes anymore. She was the one whose smile didn’t fully reach her eyes when they were together. She was one who let his hand fall out of her grasp when they were out in public. He wished he had changed. He would have given anything to change into someone that she would continue to love.

You’re not the man I love anymore, Ted.

So teach me, Michelle. Teach me how to be the man you love again. I’ll fucking do it, you know I will.

————

The night in Liverpool, after his panic attack, the denial bled into goddamn anger.

It wasn’t the first time he had a panic attack, but it had been a long time since it had happened. They became a pretty frequent occurrence for him after the passing of his dad. And Michelle, the old Michelle, the woman she used to be before “he changed” would help him come down from it. She would hold his hands and tell him stories to distract him. Reminding him of sweeter memories like on their first date when it turned out that the restaurant he was going to take her to was actually converted into a shoe store.

The angers cools to depression at the thought of all the parts of her that he’ll never get to know. But it flares up into anger again at the sight of the divorce papers in front of him.

She wasted no time sending over the divorce papers. Throwing his phone down on the table and pinching the bridge of his nose, he was fucking angry. She liked to tell him he changed all the time, and even if they were true, how could she expect someone to stay the way they were in high school? Nobody ever stays the same. People change. People grow. That’s part of life. A big part of it. You spend your youth learning how to become a person, and your older years learning how to become a good person.

He hates it because when he’s like this, he wants to talk to someone that knows him. He would have to explain all this to Rebecca or Keeley. He laughs bitterly into his whiskey. The one person that could help him through his divorce is the very person he’s divorcing from. The goddamn irony of it all.

He could call his mother, but he knows that’s going to open up a whole plethora of questions. She’ll want to know how Michelle is doing, what she’s been up to. “Gee honey, don’t you think there’s a chance you’ll get back together?” He can’t stomach that line of questioning right now.

And it’s not like he can just close her out of his life forever. They have a child together. A child that has his mother’s eyes. Which he also doesn’t want to think about.

Obviously, pain is an aspect of life. But god, right now, he wished there was someone, anyone else that knew him as well as Michelle did.

He really wanted it to be her. Until he realized that she didn’t want it to be him.

—————-

Ted was nervously playing with the glass in front of him, avoiding going back home.

He knew you would be there, waiting for him. Wanting an explanation that he didn’t want to give.

He kept going back and forth with himself, he knew you probably wouldn’t be mad but there was a difference between logically knowing something to be true and emotionally believing it.

On the other side of it all, Michelle has become something that he explains to his new love. Why he reacts the way does, Why he doesn’t have confidence in himself, why he sometimes can’t accept the love you are so easily willing to give.

He still has some habits that you’re helping him to break. Constantly reminding him that he’s not a burden, that his optimistic nature is a feature and not a bug of his personality.

There is no secret alchemy, relationships just take a lot of work, something he’s learning with you.

It’s still odd for him, to have someone work through the struggle rather than break down and leave.

And when he does get home, you’re there. Like you always are.

“You wanna talk about it?” You ask. Leaning against the doorframe.

He shrugs sheepishly but doesn’t actually say anything.

“It’s okay if you don’t, you know. We don’t always have to be talking.”

He nods and makes his way to the couch. His fingers tapping on the tops of his thighs.

You make your way over and sit beside him. Not touching him, not speaking, just sharing the space.

The argument that broke out between the two of you earlier is playing in your heads.

“You gotta let me in, Ted. Just a fucking little bit. I don’t understand what you want me to do. Whether you realize it or not, you’re punishing me for things that she did and that isn’t fair to me. I’m sorry that she hurt you, I am. I truly believe you didn’t deserve it. But, I don’t deserve it either.”

“I’m sorry, darlin’” Ted reaches his hand out to yours and you intertwine them together.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry too-“

“No. There’s no need for you to be. Everything you said was true.”

“It’s just something we’re gonna have to work through together, honey.”

“Yeah.” He whispers, bringing your hand up to his lips and kissing your knuckles.

You cuddle into his side, “so what do you think, time for bed?”

“Heck yeah.”

You don’t let go of his hand, keeping your fingers intertwined. His hands aren’t cold anymore and he’s found something new in himself, a man that you can love. Openly and easily. And he didn’t have to change a damn thing about himself to make it happen.

[comp7ex]

ALL FOR ME

summary: in which she needs this one particular girl all to herself again.

paige bueckers x blackfemale!oc

warnings: cursing, a moderate amount of angst and a lil teasing (like super minuscule)

jori hated the club. absolutely despised it. the air was sticky and humid even as the fans blew around the building. her high heels were making her feet ache and the material of her mini dress was extremely itchy. not to mention, she was tipsy as hell as she sat at the crowded bar. despite these factors, her eyes stayed locked on the other side of the room where her once situationship sat.

paige bueckers. the loved and famed uconn guard.

the two met during their freshman year at uconn as jori was an assistant to the student broadcasting team. they became friends fast and found they had a lot in common. the friendship was smooth sailing until late into their junior year, paige began to blur lines that couldn’t be undone, sending the two into a complicated relationship. although jori didn’t mind at first, she loved the attention and affection that paige provided her with. she thought she was in love with paige. that was until the guard started being inconsistent, which came with the famous line of “we’re not together so it dont know why you’re tripping.”

so after almost a year of back and forth, she ended it with paige 2 months ago, leaving her with a long paragraph and no access to the girl whatsover, until today.

jori watched the scene that unfolded in front of her. a random brunette was slung over paige’s lap, her hand wrapped around the girls waist and a drink in the other hand what she could only assume was a dirty shirley temple, laughing with other people in the section. jori could only roll her eyes in anger.

she didn’t understand how paige could sit up with someone else while all jori could think about was her. in the midst of her angry self monologue, someone next to her spilled their drink all down the front of her dress, “what the fuck!!!” she exclaimed. the person barely giving her a second glance. jori hastily got off the barstool, making her way to the bathroom as she tried brush the excess liquid off of her dress but not before making eye contact with the person she had been watching all night. shit.

paige couldn’t believe her eyes. she had to be dreaming right?

“yo p, was that jori?” a friend asked her, who had also seen the girl. paige couldn’t even speak. her eyes couldn’t leave the girl as she made her way through the crowd.

jori saunders. the one girl who almost made paige change her ways.

paige is what most people would call a player. she gets around and doesn’t feel guilty about it. she calls it keeping her options open and that was how she’d always been before the dynamic between her and jori changed.

the girl found herself wanting to be with jori only. she cared about her. the guard craved jori which scared her tremendously because she had never felt that way about someone. her main focus was basketball and that was it until that night her lips touched jori’s. from then on, she was hooked. nonetheless, paige was stuck in her ways and used the girls jealousy and possessiveness as a ploy to get distance between the two which ultimately ended in no contact. paige couldn’t have regretted a decision more in this moment.

feeling slight liquid courage, the girl brushed the brunette aside, setting her drink on the nearby table. “i’ll be back, i’m finna use the bathroom.” she announced to her friends before quickly making a beeline to the bathroom where she could only hope jori was at.

jori stood over the sink, wiping down her red dress with the flimsy paper towel, hoping maybe that it wouldn’t leave a stain the dress she just bought. she could feel a headache coming on and knew it was time to go home. the hinges of the bathroom door squeaked and jori didn’t bother to turn around, thinking that somebody just cracked the seal and had to clear their bladder. what she wasn’t expecting was to hear the voice of the blonde. “jori.” paige said softly, taking cautious steps towards the girl.

“jori.” paige said again, this time less than an arms reach close to her. the girl turned around and for the first time tonight, the two could see each other clearly. paige’s 6’0 frame towered over jori’s 5’4 heeled stature. the taller girls eyes shamelessly raked over her body, taking in all the features that she so dearly missed. jori did the same, her stomach whirling with butterflies as she caught paige’s bright blues locked on her lips. “you should go back out there with your girlfriend, there’s nothing left for you in here.” jori stated boldly, taking paige aback slightly. “she’s not my girlfriend jo, i don’t even like her.” the shorter girl scoffed.

“you have to like something about her, that’s the only reason you keep bitches around anyway, is when they can give you something.” paige just shook her head, not phased by jori’s insults. she knew that jori had a mouth on her when she was angry and especially if she was tipsy.

“she’s cute! and you’re showing her off in public, do you think she looks better than me? what does she have on me paige?” jori questioned, tilting her head.

“you know she doesn’t jori, she doesn’t have shit on you stop.”

“then what is it? does she satisfy you like i did, hm?” jori’s mouth was moving quicker than her brain could think, her manicured hand, grabbing paige’s face, forcing the girl to look at her once again. her other hand slid down the front of the guards exposed boxer, running her fingers across the band, making paige slightly shudder.

“i guess not.” jori pushed the girls face away as she attempted to move past the girl after her statement but paige blocked her every move. “you can say and do all the shit you want, i don’t care. nobody is leaving until we talk.” the uconn guard said sternly, making jori roll her eyes again.

“there’s not shit to talk about, you didn’t care then and you don’t care now, you already got a new bitch and it’s only been two months!.”

“dude don’t start with that shit, i do care! what are you even talking about?” paige exasperated.

“too bad you couldn’t when it really counted.” jori sassed back. “i tried talking to you for months and i watched you flirt and touch other girls and crawl back to me in the dead of night.”

“like do you know how that made me feel? it made me feel like shit! like i wasn’t enough for you even though i was giving you all i had!”

“all i wanted you to was tell me i was the only one and really mean it and you never could, what is there for us to talk about?” paige ran her hand over her face in frustration.

“if you would let me talk, i’m trying to tell you that there’s never been another you jori! nobody has ever made me feel the way you do.”

“i’ll admit, i was scared and i didn’t treat you in the way that you deserve but ill spend however long it takes to fix it. jori i love you and i have for a long time. i wasn’t mature enough to tell you then but fuck-“ the shorter girl attempted to move past her again but paige blocked her in again.

“please… just listen to me.” the taller girl pleaded, her voice wavering.

“let me prove that im worthy of you, that you’re all i see and have ever seen, please. “ the desperation in paige’s voice made the room thick and jori felt trapped under her gaze as the girl searched her eyes for any reciprocation.

after what felt like hours of silence, jori reached up and tucked the stray hairs behind paige’s ear and brushing off the collar of her shirt. “take me home.”

hi, this is my first post here on tumblr, i’m more of a wattpad writer but i just wanted to share some pieces on here!!! i kinda hate this but i was craving some angst, so enjoy!