#the idea was not to draw this but to draw little cards for stacy and her story so I could explain the plot of that one

[weaponizedmoth]

Sketchy redraw of a drawing I made a year or so ago. They're my ocs, Hayden Metzler (who's not awake atm) and Anthony Lamonica who is sort of an insect God destined to eat other Gods that threaten the very fabric of reality.

They're in love <3

The original is under the thing blah blah

[flourgirl]

Sick of Losing Soulmates

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: Months after you and Peter have broken up, you run into each other at Harry’s Christmas party.

Word Count: 4.1k

Warnings: Both fluffy and angsty. Mentions of alcohol and sex. A mild amount of curse words.

A/N: I’m ALIVE! I hope you all are having a wonderful holiday season, and Merry Christmas to everybody that celebrates it! I am so happy to be able to share my work with all of you! Enjoy <3

“And maybe we got lost in translation Maybe I asked for too much But maybe this thing was a masterpiece Till you tore it all up” -All Too Well, Taylor Swift

He wasn’t supposed to be here. Harry had promised you that his roommate would be spending the holidays with May back in Queens. But here he was, wearing the sweater that you had given him last year with his arm snaked around another girl’s waist.

“Hey!” Betty grinned, throwing her arms around you. She had a half-empty glass of mulled wine that you could tell was doing a good job of getting her tipsy. “I’ve missed you so much, Y/N. We never see each other anymore.”

She pouted, a pair of reindeer antlers where her signature black headband usually sat. “Are you okay?”

“Oh, yeah,” you assured her, still staring at Peter effortlessly carrying the conversation with a bunch of people you didn’t recognize. “Uh, who’s the girl with Peter?”

“Gwen Stacy,” she muttered, obviously not a very big fan. You figured it was because there was only room for one preppy blonde girl, and Betty didn’t feel like sharing that position with anybody else. “Don’t worry though! It’s nothing serious. Peter actually hasn’t really dated anybody ever since the two of you…”

Her voice trailed off as you locked eyes with her, silently communicating for her to drop the subject. It was a relief to know that he hadn’t moved on, but the fact that he was wrapped up in a fling with somebody else still made your heart hurt.

“Come on, Y/N. I’m sure MJ and Ned would love to see you! They’re over in the kitchen.” She reached for your hand, dragging you along through Harry’s expertly decorated apartment. 

You dropped the box of cookies that you had baked on the counter before tapping MJ on the shoulder. She was turned away from you, lecturing Ned on why his secondhand Beyblades were not acceptable Christmas presents.

“Who the hell is touching me?” she snapped, turning around with a look on her face that told you she was ready to throw hands. “Holy fuck. Y/N! How long have you been here?”

MJ’s frown faded into a smile as she pulled you into a side-hug, her other hand busy nursing a glass of Harry’s infamously terrible eggnog. “Only a few minutes,” you laughed, your face smushed into her torso. 

“Hi,” Ned piped up, offering a small wave. You could tell he didn’t really know where he stood ever since his best friend basically ripped your heart out and threw it on the floor. Well, it wasn’t actually that dramatic, but he had a flair for exaggerating stories. “Remember me?”

“Of course, stupid,” you grinned, offering a fist bump that he happily accepted. “How could I forget those iconic fits of yours?”

“True,” he said, popping his collar and doing a little twirl that made Betty and MJ roll their eyes. “You look pretty fly too, though.”

“Thanks,” you replied, holding the edge of your dress as you curtsied, something you and Ned had made a habit of doing as the so-called best dressed members of the group.

“You two are just as ridiculous as ever,” Betty mused, happy to see you still fit in just as perfectly as when you were Peter’s girlfriend, even if you weren’t around as much.

The reunion was interrupted by the loud chatter of a certain couple, and your heart sank as you watched a very drunk Peter and Gwen stumble towards the kitchen, a giggling mess. They situated themselves under the archway that separated the two rooms, a piece of mistletoe conveniently hanging above them. 

You could tell that MJ was ready to put a stop to her friend’s embarrassing behavior, and the looks on Ned and Betty’s faces told you that they had no intentions of holding her back. 

“They’re so gross,” MJ complained, setting down her untouched cup before excusing herself to drag Peter out of his drunken makeout session. “I can’t believe he’d do that when you’re right here!”

“Wait, MJ,” you blurted, grabbing onto her wrist to stop her. She turned to face you, her eyebrows furrowed. “It’s okay. I don’t care about it. I’m just going to head to the bathroom, alright? I’ll be right back.”

You did your best to stop yourself from tearing up, although you realized you had made the utter mistake of forgetting that the very arch that Peter and Gwen were sucking each other’s faces under was the only way out of the kitchen.

Not even a few moments of you awkwardly standing next to them, occasionally clearing your throat, made them notice you. Eventually, the discomfort grew too heavy, and you tapped Peter on the shoulder. He finally pulled away from Gwen, her lipstick smudged across his mouth and a dazed look on his face.

Gwen whimpered at the loss of his kiss, obviously annoyed at the random girl that had just interrupted them. As soon as Peter recognized that it was you, he stepped away from her, wiping his mouth and fixing the hair she had been running her hands through, just like you used to.

“Y/N. I didn’t know that you’d be here,” he reasoned, a blush spreading across his face as a sense of regret settled into his stomach. 

“Obviously,” you sighed. This wasn’t the Peter you knew—the sweet, shy one that you had fallen in love with. “You guys are blocking the hallway, by the way.”

“Shit, sorry,” he stammered, stepping aside to allow you to pass in between them. He followed you, leaving Gwen irritated and confused as to who you were. “Y/N. Can we talk later?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Nice sweater, though,” you quipped, not even turning back to meet his gaze before climbing the stairs towards the guest bathroom. Everything felt all too familiar, memories of you and Peter stumbling up the same steps after a date flooding your brain.

The first time Peter had kissed you was after MJ’s birthday party. Neither of you had been drinking, since you hated alcohol and Peter refused to touch any before he turned 21. This meant that you got to spend the whole night laughing at everybody else’s drunken mischief. 

In the middle of his performance of some Nicki Minaj song, Ned managed to spill a whole can of beer on you and Peter, which resulted in many cheers as the two of you ran to his room to grab a change of clothes. Shirts came off, confessions were made, and the party went on without you guys.

You took a deep breath, shutting the bathroom door behind you and sitting on the edge of the bathtub. If you had known Peter would end up being here, you would have never accepted Harry’s invitation. There were so many old wounds being opened up that you had spent months trying to heal, and you weren’t sure some stupid Christmas party was worth it. 

But you didn’t want to leave. It wasn’t fair how much the break up had stolen from you. All of your friends were here and you were tired of shying away from going out with them anymore because you were too scared to see Peter. Too scared that you would never be able to stop being in love with him.

By the time you rejoined the rest of your friends, Harry was announcing that it was time to start the game of White Elephant. You bit the edges of your fingernails as the party guests filed into Harry’s living room, hoping that Peter wouldn’t somehow pick your present.

“What’d you bring?” you asked Betty, squishing in next to her on the couch. 

“Gift card to In-N-Out,” she giggled, satisfied that her present could only be used on the other side of the country. “But Harry’s rich friends might not have any trouble flying their private jets to California, so maybe I’m not as clever as I thought.”

“Heard that,” Harry said, leaning behind you on the edge of the couch. He placed a quick kiss on your cheek, something the two of you had always done as friends but stopped once you started dating Peter. “Hey, Y/N. Glad you could make it.”

“Hey, you,” you replied, smiling back at him, your leg bouncing impatiently. “We doing this thing or what?”

“Yeah, yeah, give me a minute,” he laughed, running out of the room. Moments later, he came back wearing a fake beard and a Santa hat, complete with a miniature sack of toys. 

“Alright, boys and girls. Let’s get this game started! Hopefully you all know the rules, but I’ll repeat them anyway. I draw a name out of the sack, you pick a random present and open it up for everybody to see. The next person that goes can either steal your gift or pick a new one. If your gift gets stolen, you get to do the same. No stealing twice!”

The first couple of people you didn’t really know, and they had all pulled presents that were relatively uninteresting. A scented candle, toilet paper, a pair of socks. Nothing you really considered worth stealing, although Ned ended up taking a framed, autographed photo of Harry from MJ, which resulted in her stealing Gwen’s mini waffle iron.

By the time it was your turn, there weren’t many gifts left. Going with your gut, you grabbed the bag covered in glittering polar bears. Reaching past all of the tissue paper stuffed inside, you pulled out a red sweatshirt that you unfolded to see had a large graphic of Spider-Man printed on it. 

“Oh,” you said, a little confused. The only people you knew that wore stuff with the Avengers on it were little kids, but you figured that was part of the joke. “I mean, I prefer Captain America, but thanks, whoever this is from!”

Peter’s face blushed to a shade of red, amazed that out of all the presents, you picked his. The only issue was that you didn’t know that he was actually the guy on the front of it. Nobody except Ned knew, although he was sure that MJ and Harry had caught on to his secret identity by now.

“Okay, two people left. Jake, you’re up next, buddy,” Harry called out, happily bouncing around the room, his Santa hat now replaced with a baseball cap that had “I Love Ned!” embroidered on it. You watched nervously as he walked around the room, eyeing up all of the presents before settling on the tiny, golden box that you had placed under the tree when you first arrived.

“Let’s see what we’re working with,” he smirked. Your thoughts raced, immediately feeling a sense of regret over the gift you had picked. “Oh, shit. Sweet! I’ve got a date with Y/N!”

“Sup, baby,” Jake continued, his words slightly slurred. He pointed at you and winked, and you offered him a polite smile in return. “We’re gonna have a good time. Just name the time and place and I got you.”

“Awesome, congrats, man,” Harry said, obviously ready for the game to be over. It had been going for way longer than any of you had expected, mostly due to the fact that two girls wouldn’t stop arguing over a piece of rose quartz. “Okay, we’re nearly finished, guys. Peter, you’re up. Pick any of the gifts that haven’t been stolen yet, or the last one under the tree.”

You locked eyes with him, a familiar scowl on his face that told you he was thinking really hard about which gift to pick. His spidey-senses felt your heartbeat pick up as he walked around the room before stopping in front of Jake, who was busy gloating to his friend about how “hot” you were. Your face heated up as you watched Peter take the little note that you had written out of Jake’s hands, smugly gesturing for him to pick up the present under the tree.

He waved sheepishly at you, and you felt both relieved and angry at his decision. Did you want to go on that date with Jake? No. Were you still mad that, technically, you now had to go out with your ex-boyfriend? Yes.

The game ended and the party-goers dispersed throughout the apartment. You lingered in your spot on the couch, your arms crossed and heart full of mixed emotions. Peter, whose gaze never strayed from you, walked over to where you were sitting.

“We don’t actually have to go out,” he whispered, hoping that you’d actually look at him this time. “I just didn’t think you wanted to go out with that guy. He seemed like kind of an asshole.”

“Yeah, well, it would have been nice if you let me decide that. You’re not my boyfriend, anymore Peter. We aren’t even friends. You don’t get a say in who I go out on dates with,” you grumbled, your eyes focusing on everything in the room except for him.

Before you could say anything else, Peter had already grabbed you by the hand, dragging you away from the rest of the party. Strangely enough, you went along with it, a little curious to hear him out.

You started to remember your first date, and it was almost like you could hear his excited laughter after you finally managed to knock a pin down. It became a tradition that whenever you had something to celebrate, Peter would pick you up and twirl you around until you had to beg him to stop.

Your thoughts were interrupted by Peter slamming the door behind him and cornering you against it, his heartbeat racing. He had pulled you into the laundry room. “I can’t stand seeing you with anybody else,” he panted, eyes flickering down towards your mouth.

His hand pushed a piece of your hair behind your ear, and your breath hitched as you felt his rough fingertips against your skin. But before he could lean in to kiss you, you were ducking underneath his arm and backing away.

“Peter, we really shouldn’t,” you whispered, watching the disappointment wash over his face. No matter how much you wanted to kiss him, you just couldn't forget how he had broken your heart months ago. “It’s over, okay?”

“Y/N, please. I—”

“You what? You love me? Because last time we were together, I told you how much I loved you and you said that we should break up. Remember?” you cried, embarrassed at how you couldn’t control your emotions anymore. “You’re just… you’re too late.”

You fumbled with the door, slipping through the opening before rushing towards the balcony. As soon as the cold air hit you, a wave of relief washed over your body, and you laid your head against the metal railing. Your breathing slowed and time seemed to stand still as you watched the snowflakes flutter through the wind.

“Peter’s an idiot,” you heard a voice call out from behind you. You turned to see Harry holding an extra coat in his arms, and you started to wonder just how long you had been standing out there. He draped it over your shoulders before leaning next to you against the balcony’s edge.

“Huh?” you asked, wondering if he knew what had just happened. You looked at him, the multicolored Christmas lights reflecting off his shiny hair. “What do you mean?”

“He’s stupid for ever letting you go,” he remarked. He had a look in his eyes that made you unsure of what he actually meant. “I mean, look at you. You’re so beautiful, and smart, and funny. And if he was dumb enough to throw all of that away, then yeah, Peter’s an idiot.”

“Oh, thanks, I guess,” you shrugged, your voice faint under the music that was still playing inside. You looked at him, his cheeks a rosy hue, which you couldn’t tell was from the cold or whatever he was trying to tell you.

“You know, I used to have the biggest crush on you,” Harry admitted, laughing a little bit at how nervous he was. Everybody knew that he was a player, so being flustered over a girl was uncharted territory for him. “I never told you this, but you were my first kiss.”

“Wait, really?” you asked, a little shocked at his confession. “But I thought you kissed Sarah Emerson on the playground in the fifth grade?”

“Nope. I was just a liar,” he grinned, running a hand through his hair. “It was right before our eighth grade formal, when you asked me to teach you how to kiss because you were scared that Jeremy Pellegrino was going to try and french you.

“Oh! I forgot all about that,” you laughed, suddenly remembering just how long you and Harry had been friends. “Hold on a second... You gave me kissing lessons without knowing how to kiss!?”

“Guilty,” Harry chuckled as you punched him on the arm. “Ow! Damn, Y/N. When did you get so strong?”

“I have a lot of rage,” you mumbled before the two of you burst out into laughter, which slowly faded into a comfortable silence. 

“You don’t feel that way anymore, right?” you wondered out loud. Harry looked at you, smiling softly.

“No, not anymore,” he affirmed, and you let out a sigh of relief. You knew what it felt like to love someone and not be loved back. “I think what really helped me get over it was seeing how happy you and Parker were when you were dating.” 

“He misses you a lot,” Harry continued, his tone more serious than before. “He keeps this scarf that you left behind under his pillow because it still smells like you. I found out because he was having a pretty bad dream one night and I had to try really hard to calm him back down. And we both thought Gwen would help him move on and get his mind off of you, but I think she only made him realize just how much he still loves you—”

“Harry,” you interrupted, cutting his rambles short. “Why are you telling me all of this?”

“Because you and Peter should be together.”

“You think so?” you asked him, pulling the jacket tighter to keep you warm.

“Yeah. We all do.” It took only seconds for Harry to realize his fumble, accidentally admitting that the whole thing had been planned by him and your friends.

“We?��� Your frowned, all of the coincidences from tonight suddenly making much more sense. “Wait, did you know that Peter was going to be here tonight all along?”

“Uh… yeah, about that. MJ, Ned, and I have kind of been pulling a Parent Trap on you guys.”

“HARRY!” You glared inside to see them not-so-secretly watching the entire exchange from behind the Christmas tree. Ned did some awkward finger guns, which MJ immediately swatted down. “I am so going to get you guys!”

You marched inside to where your friends were attempting to hide, the rest of the party guests too drunk and oblivious to notice what was happening. 

“The eagle has left the nest. I repeat, The eagle has left the nest!” Ned yelled, ducking behind MJ, who was already shielding herself with a throw pillow.

“What’s going on?” Betty whined, half-asleep on the couch. “Is this that stupid plan about Peter and Y/N?”

“It’s not stupid!” Harry grumbled, his voice cracking a little bit. You could hear MJ snorting about it from her hiding spot. “Whatever, Michelle.”

“Shut up!” she shouted back.

“No, you!” he said, crossing his arms and standing his ground.

“Make me,” MJ said, narrowing her eyes and shooting daggers at him.

“Uh, guys. This isn’t about you two,” Ned interrupted, snapping them out of their mini argument. There was a weird tension between them that you just knew you would have to address some time in the future.

“Right,” MJ continued, sticking a middle finger up at Harry before turning to you. “Y/N. You should go talk to Peter.”

You nodded, exchanging hopeful looks with each of your friends before walking away. They might be dramatic goofballs, but you loved them so much that you didn’t really care.

Wandering around the party, you spotted Peter trapped in a conversation with Brad Davis, who was explaining his conspiracy theories about the Denver Airport and its demonic horse statue.

“So, all I’m saying is that they’re totally planning the end of the world over there. I mean, the Freemasons built an entire bunker for when they activate the nukes!” he rambled, Peter politely nodding along to his nonsense.

“Hey,” you said, tapping Brad on the shoulder and batting your eyelashes at him. “Can I borrow Peter?”

“Uh, yeah, totally, Y/N,” he stuttered, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards into a smirk. You could smell the peppermint Schnapps on his breath.

“Great. Thanks, Brad!” you smiled, grabbing Peter’s hand and pulling him towards the staircase. By the time you made it to his bedroom, he had already asked what was going on about ten times.

“Why’d you dump me?” you asked, the two of you sitting together on the edge of his bed, your knee brushing against his. He could tell you were wasting no time in getting to the point. “Be honest.”

He stared at the floor, unsure of how to answer your question. You reached for his hand, running your thumb across his knuckles until he looked up to see you smiling at him. His eyes were starting to water. “Just tell me, Peter. It’s okay.”

“I was scared,” he admitted, his voice breaking. “I was scared of how much I love you. I mean, Liz was just a crush, and Gwen was a hookup. I’ve only ever loved you, Y/N. Before we met, I had to watch May’s heart break day after day when we lost Uncle Ben, and when I realized how much I loved you... I just wasn’t sure if I could handle ever losing you like that. And so I felt like I needed to protect you from all of the people who would want to hurt you.”

“Hey, Peter. Calm down. I’m right here,” you whispered, wiping a tear from his face. You watched as his breathing slowed, eventually evening out. “Why would anybody want to hurt me?”

“Because…” he started, hesitating a little bit. “Because I’m Spider-Man.”

Your eyes grew big as you mulled over what he had just said. “Are you being serious right now?”

He nodded, feeling a weight lift from his chest. Your eyes followed him as he walked over to his closet, digging around through piles of clothes before he found what he was looking for.

“Holy shit,” you breathed out. Peter was holding up Spider-Man’s suit. His suit. The sweatshirt from earlier made a lot more sense now.

“I would never lie to you,” he said, folding it up and sitting back down. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. I thought I was doing the right thing—that you’d be safe—but I was so stupid. I, uh, I think about you all the time. I worry whether you’ve gotten home alright and how your little brother’s doing and if your mom got the promotion that she wanted and—”

You cut him off with a kiss, something you had been dying to do ever since you shut his bedroom door. “I forgive you,” you sighed, gently playing with his hair.

Peter stared back at you, a grin slowly spreading across his face. “Does this mean that we’re back together?”

“Yep,” you confirmed, before leaning into another kiss. And another. And another.

“Wait,” Peter said, breaking away from you. “I have a present for you. It’s actually from when we first started dating, but I was waiting until Christmas to give it to you.”

He moved to his desk, digging through one of the drawers before pulling out a flash drive. “Here it is,” he smiled, dropping it into your hand. It had your name scribbled on it next to a cat sticker. “It’s a playlist. Of all the songs that make me think of you. I think it’s got around a hundred on there?”

“Wow,” you beamed, marveling at the little piece of plastic in your hand. “You’re making me look bad. I didn’t get you anything.”

“Not true. You owe me a date, remember?” he reminded you, wiggling his eyebrows and pulling you into his lap.

“You’re right. Let me think,” you hummed, running through all the ideas of what the two of you could do. “Oh! I got it. The Central Park Squirrel Census for this year just got released. What if we analyzed the data? You could do the wrangling and I could do the visualizations!”

“I love you so much,” he laughed, pressing a kiss onto the tip of your nose. You giggled as Peter buried his face into your shoulder, his grip around your waist tightening. “But you are such a nerd.”

“I’m your nerd, Parker,” you agreed, leaning further into his embrace. “Always have been and always will be.”

—————-

Taglist: @hommyy-tommy @itsgonnabeohtay @alltimekyn @allycat449-blog @greatpizzascissorstaco @dummiesshort @parkerpeterparker2004 @letssee2468 @parkerlovebot @alytavzla @yourbiggestspiderfan @silentium-tais-toi @jailcalledlife @orangesodafoam @obsssedwithjustaboutanything @hufflepuffprincess24 @hollanddolanfangirl @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh @spideydreamers @taciturnspidey @harrisonsoceaneyes

P.S.: Please shoot me an ask or a reply if you’d like to be added to (or removed from) the taglist!

[falseroar]

Dog Days Part 20: Making Plans

((Chase discovers a way to keep Y/N busy and their mind off of Abe while Marvin tries to prepare for his meeting with the hunter.

Links to the series masterlist and to Part 19: Good Branding.))

You weren’t sure what time it was when you woke up, only that your stomach was grumbling enough to make you get out of bed and sit up for a few minutes until your head cleared. The light coming through the window blinds suggested middle or late afternoon, but when you stepped out of your room the house felt quiet. There were muffled voices coming from Marvin’s room down the hall, but you didn’t see anyone else until you walked into the kitchen and found Chase looking in one of the cabinets.

He jumped at the sound of someone walking in, relaxing a little when he saw it was only you but still looking a little guilty when he said, “Hey. Guess you’re hungry too, huh?”

“…Yeah,” you said, deciding not to ask even though you knew that was the same cabinet you saw Jackie pulling bottles out of just the other night. “A little.”

“We weren’t sure if we should wake you for lunch or not,” Chase explained. “We’ve got stuff to make sandwiches, and there’s probably some leftovers in the fridge.”

“A sandwich sounds good,” you said, and cracked a smile. “It’ll be nice to finally eat something with my hands and not off the floor for once.”

“…Oh.” Realization dawned on Chase’s face and he said, “Oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t even think—”

“No, no,” you said quickly, already regretting your words. “I didn’t mean…There wasn’t much of a choice, was there? Not when I couldn’t make myself change back.”

You hesitated and then added, “Thank you, for letting me stay here. Especially when I was…like that.”

Chase paused in the act of pulling a loaf of bread out and looked at you, sounding genuinely surprised when he said, “Of course. You’re welcome to stay here no matter what shape you’re in, Y/N. I said that, didn’t I? Wouldn’t be much of a home, otherwise. Now what kind of sandwich do you want? We’ve got jelly, peanut butter, almond butter, cheese if you want to try grilled…”

Chase continued listing off choices, but you barely listened as you stared at him, biting your lip hard to try not to cry. By the time he was done, you had managed to get a hold of yourself enough to pick one, and a few minutes later the two of you were seated at the table, Chase trying to explain to you why he bought catnip with all of the dog stuff in the hopes of seeing if it would have an effect on Marvin.

“But he just wears the cat mask,” you said, trying not to laugh. “It doesn’t mean he’s actually part cat.”

“You haven’t seen the way he eats salmon,” Chase said. “And don’t get me started on string—Oh, hang on.”

Chase pulled his buzzing phone out of his pocket, his expression changing immediately when he saw the name on the screen.

“Hey, Staci,” he said, his eyes flickering toward you and looking relieved when you nodded and stood up to give him some space. Only for that relief to turn to panic when he said, “Lion? Oh, yeah, I managed to catch them yesterday before they got too far. Sorry if I worried you or the—They want to what?”

You heard Staci repeat that the kids wanted to see Lion, the kids’ voices clamoring on the other side of the device, and made a quick gesture to Chase before leaving that you didn’t think he completely understood as he continued talking on the phone.

“Well, I don’t know if we can do that, um, like I said, Lion is a foster and I think they’ve found—uh, their forever home and—”

“Hold on, honey,” Staci said on the other end, and Chase felt a bittersweet sting when he realized she wasn’t talking to him. “I don’t know if we can do video, let me ask Daddy, okay?”

“Uh…”

“Sorry, they want to see Lion again. And you. Maybe you can explain to them how fostering works?” There was a strain in Staci’s voice, her patience wearing a little thin, and Chase wondered how many times the kids had asked her to make this call.

“Yeah, I can do video,” Chase said, bracing himself for the coming disappointment as he held his phone back and pressed the button that made first Staci, then his kids appear as she handed the phone over. “Hey, kiddos. How are you doing?”

“Good,” they chimed together, before his son leaned in so close that his face filled the screen as he asked, “Lion?”

“Yeah, Lion is…” Chase trailed off, unable to hide his surprise when you walked back into the kitchen. It had taken you longer than you thought to get the collar back on, and to brace yourself to change back, but it felt worth it when Chase smiled and sank down onto the floor to sit beside you so that you both were in the camera as the kids shouted, and then tried to talk over each other as they told you both about how they went for hot chocolate after the park yesterday, and about what they did in school today, Chase’s son proudly showing a crayon drawing after his daughter spent several minutes talking about her good grades in math and how her teacher didn’t think “hunormous” was a real word but “really, really big” just wasn’t the same.

Eventually, Staci suggested that maybe they should wrap things up, leading the girl to ask, “Can we go to the park and play with Lion again? We can walk them this time, so they won’t run off.”

“Well, Lion’s new owner will be wanting to spend time with them,” Chase started, glancing at you when you pressed a paw on his knee. “…But maybe they’ll be willing to let me take them to the park again. We’ll pick a day when you’re both out of school, how’s that sound?”

They sounded happy enough with that idea, and Staci managed a smile when she took the phone back and said, “Thanks, Chase. I’ll text you a few dates later, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah…” Chase said, unable to think of anything else to say before she hung up. After a moment of staring at the blank screen, he looked at you and said, “Thank you so much. You didn’t have to do that.”

You shook your head and gave him a look that he eventually figured out, turning his head as he felt you change back beside him until you leaned against him with a heavy sigh.

“Let’s…let’s wait a while before we have that play date,” you said, sounding so much more tired that Chase looked at you with alarm. You smiled to reassure him as you said, “I’m fine. I just…don’t remember it being that hard, changing back.”

Chase wrapped an arm around your shoulders, squeezing you in a hug before he said, “Thank you for…not telling the others about the park, and ‘Lion.’ I know Jackie worries about me.”

“Yeah, he does. Cause he likes you or something,” you said, getting another smile out of Chase even if it was a little sadder this time. “Having other people to worry about you, ‘s not such a bad thing.”

Chase heard your voice slur, your breathing slow as though you were close to falling asleep again right there on the floor, leaning against him. Changing into the wolf and back again really had done a number on you, and thinking that is what caused the question to slip out.

“Was it this hard to change back last night?”

You took so long to answer that he started to apologize, but then you said, “Harder. I was…scared. Scared if I did, scared if I didn’t. You know?”

“…Yeah, I can imagine.”

“The paper,” you said, sounding a little more awake as the thought suddenly hit you. “There was a paper, a note, I put it in my pocket…”

You reached for your pocket before remembering that you were wearing a pair of sweatpants from the pile of clothes that they had put together for you and not the same clothes from last night, and Chase had to steady you when you tried to stand up.

“Easy, I can go and get it for you,” Chase said, getting up with you and directing you into the living room where you sank down onto the couch with a sigh. “Pants pocket, right?”

They were easy enough to find, although Chase paused when he found something else besides the folded-up flyer they were talking about.

It was an envelope, addressed to the District Attorney, with two cards inside. The Death tarot card, and one with a short message typed on it.

Mirror, mirror, on the wall.

Watch as I betray them all.

They’d mentioned the cards, of course, how theirs had outed them as a werewolf, how Mark had ended up with it as part of his insane scheme. They hadn’t mentioned this one, or that they still had any of the cards. Maybe they had forgotten, or just didn’t want to remember the far too accurate taunt they had been left with for all these years.

“Chase?”

Chase looked up to see Marvin and Jackie in the hallway, both curious to find him in here.

“Y/N asked me to look for something,” he said weakly. “And I found…”

Marvin took the cards and studied them, his expression again growing heavy and vaguely threatening in a way that made Chase worry about how this coffee meeting with the hunter was supposed to go tomorrow, even with Jackie on standby.

Chase looked down at the note you were so interested in, the one supposedly written to or from this Wilford guy, and flipped it over to read the front of the flyer that you couldn’t make out last night.

“Well, there’s some good news,” Chase said, and when Jackie and Marvin looked, he held up the flyer for the local TV station. “I think I have an idea on how to keep Y/N busy tomorrow, and maybe find out a little more about this guy the hunter was so interested in last night at the same time. How does Jameson and me taking Y/N on a little tour sound?”

---

“Hm.” Dr. Schneeplestein sat back in his chair and said, “Vell, it does seem your eyesight is a touch of the fuzzy. Perhaps it vill get better, but glasses are not so bad. Zhey can be very stylish.”

He tilted his own glasses down to look at you over the top of the frames with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

“But you say you cannot see color at all?”

You shook your head. “No, it’s all black and white and grays.”

“And you did not have zhis issue before zhe mirror?”

“No, not even when I turned into the wolf,” you said.

“Yes, I cannot say I have heard of many weres complaining of color-blindness,” Henrik admitted. “Alzhough I imagine it might be difficult to notice red-green problems on full moons, vhen you have different zhings on zhe mind. I can see no damage in your pupils, but, ah—have your eyes always been silver?”

You shook your head again. You had discovered that the bathroom didn’t have a mirror in it, Marvin saying something about them being a scrying risk but that there was still one in the bathroom off of Chase’s room. You hadn’t felt the need to go and look in it though, so you had to take the doctor’s word on the silver eyes thing.

“It shouldn’t matter, of course, but zhis whole deal is…very strange,” the doctor said with a sigh. “I am sorry I cannot offer any advice. Perhaps one day ve could consult vith Dr. Iplier again.”

“Do you think he would know something about it?” you asked and the doctor shrugged.

“He is good at providing second ideas. Perhaps he knows of a remedy I might not have considered ve could try. And a trip to zhe hospital feels like it could be a safe outing to help you get used to human legs again. Safer zhan zhis studio,” Henrik said, giving a disgusted look at the flyer lying on the bench beside you, the one that had sparked a lot of questions and led to you sitting in the doctor’s room while he performed yet another checkup.

Supposedly, the graphic on the front of the paper which to your eyes looked like a dark gray city skyline against a pale circle, surrounded by black, had letters on it somewhere. Letters which were typed in just the right shade to blend in with the buildings or the sky, you still weren’t sure which. Something about a studio and tour hours, which is why Chase thought the note on the back to or from ‘W’ was related to the place.

“May I?” Henrik asked, holding up his stethoscope and inviting you to take several deep breaths while he listened.

“Why wouldn’t it be safe?” you asked, as he moved to your back.

“I do not trust zhese entertainment people, actors and zhe like, Jameson and Chase excepted,” Henrik said, only to pause. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, just a…cough,” you said. “Voice is still a little weak, you know.”

“It does sound much better zhan earlier,” Henrik pointed out. “Deep breath, please. And again.”

You followed his lead, trying to force yourself to let it go. Jameson had explained to you, what a TV studio was, or the general idea of it. You already knew about flicks, you had worked catering for one of his movies after all, and the theaters back in your day had the short cartoons and serials and newsreels. The idea of recording all that and sending it to screens like the one in the living room wasn’t completely foreign, although the idea of having an entire building for it was a little strange. Chase nearly broke down in tears when Jameson explained to him how they used to put up and break down sets in days, and how he sold off all of their backgrounds and props by the lot for other studios to use. You still weren’t entirely sure why he thought those would be worth a lot of money today or who would be paying for that kind of stuff.

“And zhis studio has a bit of a…reputation in my field,” Henrik said. “A lot of injuries from on set, zhey say, and zhere are rumors…vell, it is best not to spread such zhings.”

“Jameson’s film had a lot of injuries on set too,” you pointed out. Granted, that probably had a lot to do with the evil otherworldly entity hanging around, but still. “Some of those stunts can be dangerous.”

“Vhich is vhy ve have more standards zhese days, and professional stuntpersons,” Henrik said. “And vhat kind of stunts do you need to be doing on a gameshow, I ask? People zhese days expect too much action and drama and violence in every little zhing, even in zhe cartoons.”

You started to respond and decided against commenting on that, even though you suspected your memories of cartoons back in your day were a little more accurate than whatever the doctor’s nostalgia had him remembering.

“We’re just going there to try and find this Wilford guy,” you said instead. “I promise I won’t let Chase volunteer for any stunts.”

Henrik sighed. “Do not make promises you cannot keep, Y/N. Just a few days ago, he is trying to get on zhe roof and still vill not tell me vhy.”

To get more air time, and while you didn’t know what that meant, you definitely knew better than to tell the doctor. Only reason he found out at all was because Chase scraped up his arm on the way down, before Jackie managed to catch him, and they didn’t have enough time to come up with a story between them before Henrik smelled the blood.

Which is why they were currently going over the story for tomorrow in Marvin’s room, in case you started asking questions or changed your mind about going to the studio. Well, that, and trying to convince Marvin that he didn’t need to load up on spells and an entire magical arsenal for a meeting over coffee.

“Isn’t the whole point of this just to get to know the hunter?” Jameson asked, picking up a dagger that was lying on top of his outfit for tomorrow and giving Marvin a pointed look. “A little hard to do if he feels like he’s about to be attacked.”

“Be careful with that, it’s a dimensional dagger,” Marvin said, taking it and checking to make sure the strap keeping it in its sheath was still in place. “It’s only if he needs to take a little...time out somewhere else, that’s all.”

“Mm, I’m going to go with a ‘no’ on that one, same as the other stuff,” Chase said. “And you’re not going to wear that mask, are you?”

Marvin scowled. “Why wouldn’t I? This is an antique, passed down among generations of spellcasters, it both amplifies and controls its wearer’s abilities, with protective magic embedded into every fiber, and it is absolutely essential for any of my big workings.”

“And you think you’ll be needing it to drink coffee?” Jameson asked. “Just wear those nifty sunglasses, you use those all the time when you go out for normal stuff.”

“They’re not the same,” Marvin complained, very aware of the whine in his voice. “Besides, he already knows I’m a magic user, I might as well look the part.”

“Because nothing says magic like a kitty cat mask,” Jackie said, Chase snorting when he tried to hold in his laugh. “Marvin, Jameson’s right. We want the hunter to feel safe opening up and talking to you so we can learn something about the guy, and I don’t think he’s going to do that if it looks like you’re ready to pick a fight. I’ll be there to back you up if something goes wrong, but you do know the goal here is for it to not come to that, right?”

Marvin groaned and said, “Fine, I’ll leave the mask. And the dagger. But I’m taking the playing cards. I might need something to break the ice, after all.”

The response to that news was less than enthusiastic, but as Chase signed when Marvin’s back was turned, “At least he can’t get into too much trouble with just card tricks, right?”

Jameson, who had far more experience with Marvin’s attempts at stage magic, just gave him a look and signed back, “Maybe we should have let him take the dagger instead.”

---

In Henrik’s room, the doctor finished examining the scar on your chest and, as you pulled your shirt back down, asked, “Is zhere any pain in zhe area?”

“Sometimes there’s pressure, like a weight,” you answered. “But it doesn’t actually hurt. I’m more tired than anything, and I think that’s more from changing back.”

The doctor nodded. “Zhat vill hopefully pass by morning, but let me know if it does not. Still, no pain vhen you breathe, or move in certain vays?”

You shook your head only to hesitate before answering, “Sometimes…sometimes it hurts, after a nightmare. When I dream about…what happened.”

Henrik pulled off his glasses and fiddled with them for a moment before he looked at you, as though to have something to do with his hands while he tried to find the right words. “Y/N…in your case, trauma is normal. Nightmares, strong memories, anxieties, zhey are all unfortunately common after a bad shock or, or near-death experience.”

You chuckled, even though it wasn’t funny. “Not sure you can get more ‘near’ death than actually, you know, dying.”

“Exactly. I am not a therapist, but if you are ever wanting someone to talk to, if you ever just need a friend, I am here. So are zhe others, of course.” Henrik fidgeted with his glasses some more before he added, “I…have had my own difficulties, vith trauma. Vith zhe bad thoughts, and zhe nightmares, and feeling like you are back again. Zhe experience is nothing like yours, of course, but I know what it can…do to zhe mind, if you don’t have help. Any time, day or night, one of us vill be here. Even if you do not talk, and just do not wish to be alone.”

“…I know.” You knew from so many nights, when the others opened their rooms to you so that you wouldn’t have to sleep alone, when they talked to the wolf when you were blind, just so you could be sure they were still there. “Thank you, Dr. Schneeplestein.”

“Please, I think I am now off zhe clock for another few hours or so,” Dr. Schneeplestein said, smiling and offering a hand to help you stand. “Call me Henrik.”

You returned the smile, but as you stood your gaze went around the doctor’s room again, once again noticing the lack of an actual bed or windows. Despite the pictures on the wall (all of which featured skeletons, although you didn’t know many anatomy drawings that had the subjects playing cards or dancing), and the fake flowers on one corner of his desk in between the stacks of medical texts, the room had a very cell-like feel to it.

“Henrik. The offer goes both ways, if you ever want someone to talk to or…just not to be alone,” you said, feeling embarrassed to have said anything before you even finished, especially when the doctor looked surprised at the suggestion.

Then he smiled softly and said, “Thank you. I’ll keep it in mind, Hündchen.”

“You know I know that word means dog or puppy or something, right?”

“I do not know vhat you mean, Y/N. Say, while zhe others are busy, vhy don’t we have a little treat zhe wolf could not? How does chocolate ice cream sound?”

“…I didn’t say I didn’t like the nickname,” you said, pushing the doctor a little when he couldn’t hold back his laugh. “Can you have ice cream?”

“I’m undead, Hündchen, not in zhe grave. Tell me, vhat is zhe point of our afterlives if ve cannot have a little treat every now and zhen?”

((End of Part 20. Thanks for reading! This one was more setup for the next few parts, but soon there will be a bit more “stuff” happening.

Link to Part 21: Coffee with a Dash of Honesty.

Tagging: @silver-owl413 @skyewardlight @withjust-a-bite @blackaquokat @catgirlwarrior @neverisadork @luna1350 @oh-so-creepy @weirdfoxalley @95fangirl @lilalovesinternet-l @thepoolofthedead @a-bit-dapper @randomartdudette @geekymushroom @cactipresident @hotcocoachia @purple-anxiety-blog @shyinspiredartist @avispate @missksketch @autumnrambles @authorracheljoy @liafoxyfox ))

[ma-sulevin]

We’re finally done! It’s officially the last chapter! 

I want to thank everyone for supporting me through my first attempt at writing in the FC5 fandom. I don’t know why I decided to start with a novel-length AU idea, but I did, and it’s done, and I’m so happy I did it. 

I want to extend an extra-special thanks to @chyrstis​ who has commented on and shared every single chapter. Your comments gave me LIFE through this whole process.

Pairing: Sharky Boshaw/Female Deputy Rating: E Warnings: Canon-typical violence, but nothing particularly explicit I don’t think Word Count: 4338, chapter sixteen of sixteen!

Read it on AO3 instead and say nice things.

---

The official diagnosis, six weeks later, after the National Guard and the feds and the EPA and the fuckin’ news crews have come and gone, is mass drug-induced hallucination. 

That’s it.

That’s the whole reason.

Mattie knows there’s more to it, knows there was something special behind it all. She’s the only one who remembers so much, the only one who can clearly describe how it feels to drown or be strangled to death, the only one who spent so much time listening to the black white black and the Voice.

She’s the only one who heard the voice except for Joseph, and he never fucking shuts up about it, even from the relative safety of his prison cell in Missoula, and so she’s never ever ever going to fucking bring it up.

Not to Staci, who smiles and teases her with just a little less energy than before, acting like he doesn’t remember the details of what happened to him in Jacob’s compound, but affected by it all the same.

Not to Joey, who smiles less often, who still curses every time someone brings up a Seed, who says it’s a damn good thing the National Guard showed up when they did or she would’ve hunted John down herself.

Not to Whitehorse, who is the quietest of them, whose sole moment of lost temper was immediately on returning to the station when he grabbed Nancy by the arm and threw her out into the parking lot, who has started offering Mattie hugs and pats on the back when it looks like she needs them (basically all the time).

Certainly not to Burke, who left without sleeping the next day, who she hasn’t seen since.

And absolutely not to the state therapist who brought two big suitcases and moved into the Hot Springs Hotel, only to have to drive into Falls End every day because no one would go into the Henbane yet.

She’s not trying to get involuntarily committed.

If she’s going to be committed, it’ll be on her own terms, and only when she needs it.

And she doesn’t need it, not yet.

She’s seen as something of a hero around the county, receiving free drinks from Mary May and free food from everyone else. People stop her to say thank you, and Boomer always runs up to jump on her if he happens to be nearby with Rae Rae.

That slows down too, as the days pass and things go back to normal, and only the people most involved in her fight against the Seeds look like they’re thinking about her bleeding for them when they look at her.

She starts looking at property listings online.

It’s not like she’s ever going to get fired now.

It takes the full six weeks — two weeks of paid leave, four weeks of being back on the job — for Jude to show up at the station. He has coffees for everyone and a look of grim determination on his face.

Staci sends a furtive look at Whitehorse, who feigns disinterest, and then accepts the coffees with a quick peck on the lips, and then Mattie hands Joey five dollars because she thought it would take longer.

(Mattie wins the five dollars back from Staci later when he owes her for Mary Mary bringing Joey lunch.)

She takes to visiting Jerome after services on Sundays, not quite ready to start going to church again, but craving the kind of spiritual guidance he gives so easily without making her feel like she’s going to hell no matter what.

She visits the Ryes, takes them baby gifts, receives hugs from them both, listens to Kim complain about how she was technically pregnant an extra two months until the memories start to fade and then are erased by Carmina’s abrupt appearance into the world.

She visits Grace, visits Jess, drives up to look at the abandoned Veteran’s Center, with its inhabitants arrested and its weapons cache seized, and thinks if she burned it to the ground, no one would turn her in for it.

Every night she goes back to her apartment, every night she goes home and puts a little food out for the stray cat and thinks about taking one of the sleeping pills her therapist recommended and gets in bed without opening the bottle, every night she curls around her pillow and she cries.

If the bombs had fallen that night she was with Sharky, before she snuck out without saying goodbye, if they had fallen first thing that morning before the sun came up… she would still be with him. They’d be together, in his bunker, alone but together, probably high as fuck and burning through their condom supply.

The world would be over, but they would be happy.

It’s selfish.

It’s so selfish.

But she misses it.

She misses him.

The therapist makes it eight weeks in Hope County before she packs up and goes back to Missoula. She leaves a recommendation for a virtual office, and Mattie puts the card next to her unused pills, but she thinks she overhears Staci telling Jude he’s going to set up regular appointments.

She gets Joey’s tattoo artist’s information from her and starts to look at phoenix tattoos on Pinterest, the blank space of her left forearm mocking her without its tally marks.

Mattie makes it nine weeks before she breaks under the strain. She makes it through nine weeks of emptiness, of loneliness, of the crushing feeling of how any moment could be her last.

Is this how she lived before? Was she ever so aware of her own mortality, or did she go through life acting like she was fucking invincible until the fact of it was actually shoved in her face?

She wakes up with the sun on her day off. She showers. She shaves. She conditions and blow dries and styles. She puts on a dress and grabs a sweater.

And she drives to the Henbane, up the hill, and to Sharky’s trailer.

He’s standing outside when she parks her car, an unlit cigarette in his mouth and a bucket in one hand. He looks over at her from under the brim of his hat and dumps another handful of… something… on the ground, then holds the bucket in front of him with both arms wrapped around it.

“You said you wasn’t gonna arrest me for any of that shit I did!”

Mattie freezes in place, halfway across to him, and just stares.

He stares back.

“Does it look like I’m on duty?” Her voice come out higher-pitched than she means it, incredulous and not sure if she should start laughing or not. “Does Joey ever show up like this to drag you to the station?” She kicks one foot out to the side to emphasize the skirt she’s wearing, and his gaze immediately drops to the bare expanse of legs he can see.

“Uhh--”

“What are you even doing right now? What is that?”

“Uhh.” He looks down into the bucket, movements a little slow like he doesn’t want to look away from her skin, then he stares like he forgot the question. When he looks back up, she can tell his eyebrows are drawn tight together. “Sawdust.”

“Sawdust?”

“For the gasoline spills? I’m tryna… clean the place up a bit?”

They stare at each other as silence falls again. It stretches until it’s uncomfortable, and then it snaps.

Mattie bursts into tears. Not little ones, not anything cute or delicate, but big, ugly sobs that wrack her whole body and make her start to curl in on herself as she starts to shake. Her voice rises in an involuntary wail that she tries to muffle with her hands, but she can’t quiet it any more than she can stop it.

The tears overwhelm her, and so does Sharky.

There’s a dull thump of the bucket hitting the ground and then he’s in her space a half second later, his arms around her and one hand cupping the back of her head to pull her close. She presses into him, head tucked under his chin, and grabs the soft material of his hoodie for dear life.

The sharp smell of kerosene lingering deep in the fabric makes her cry harder at first as half-foggy memories burst into full clarity in her mind.

Climbing into his lap to sleep in John’s ranch, high and bruised and happy.

Kissing him for the first time behind the Spread Eagle after he arranged a private place for her to relax after rescuing Joey.

Drinking with him up at the PIN-K0 radar station and resting against him as he joked with Hurk.

Falling into his arms after she escaped from Jacob, shoulder dislocated, starving and sick. Healing and growing stronger, tucked safe against him, under him.

Feeling happy and safe and loved and protected with him.

Feeling home. 

She doesn’t realize Sharky’s murmuring to her until her sobs have calmed into tiny gasping breaths and her tears have dried on the faded words of his hoodie, she doesn’t realize he’s whispering that it’s okay and he has her and she’s safe until after her body has already realized it.

She’s safe.

“You’re okay, shorty, I got you,” he says, voice barely audible with his face buried like it is in her hair. “Fuck, I missed you. Please stop crying.”

She lifts her chin so her nose is pressed against his throat. “I’m sorry.”

He draws in a shaky breath and holds her tighter until he exhales. “What for?”

“Waiting so long to come back home.”

His hands are shaking harder than she’s ever seen them as he pulls away enough to cup her face. He stares down at her, studying her, and she lets him just hold her like that even as he blinks his own tears out of his eyes.

“Dep, do you… are you saying you still… love me?” His voice is shaky and wet, those beautiful blue eyes red around the rims. It sounds like he’s forcing the question out, like part of him is trying to keep it inside where the answer can’t hurt him, but the bigger part of him is too goddamn hopeful to not ask.

She squeezes him tighter as she speaks, the words somehow hard to get out even after everything they’ve been through together, even after finding him in her arms once again. “Yeah, baby. I still love you.”

He squeezes her tighter, almost tight enough to hurt even though this time she doesn’t have any lingering injuries to make the pain sharp, but he doesn’t pull away to kiss her or to look down at her.

He’s not ready to let her go.

“Okay, but, like--” he pauses to take a deep breath, and Mattie braces herself for an emotional stream of consciousness from Sharky. “I know you know, ‘cause I told you before, and also ‘cause you’re a cop, but, like, I’m on probation, and I got this rap sheet that’s a mile long, and not all of it should be on there but I can’t really help that now, and I know the sheriff don’t like me, and I don’t want you to get in trouble at your job--”

She’s heard enough. She wiggles out of his grasp and grabs his face in both her hands. He cuts off mid-sentence and stares at her with his mouth still open like the rest of his thoughts will come out the second she takes her hands off his skin. 

“Sharky, babe, you don’t -- I don’t care about that. I knew all that, and I love you, and I’m here, and we’ll figure out how to work it out, okay?” He nods. His mouth closes. “I want to at least try. I couldn’t live with myself if we didn’t try.”

“Really?” His voice cracks, and Mattie’s self-restraint does too.

She pulls his face down to hers, and he goes willingly, leaning so far into her space that she finds herself leaning backwards, resting her weight in his arms. She throws her arms around his neck and holds on for dear life as his lips press to hers and his heart beats against her chest.

It feels just the same as she remembered. It’s warm and comforting, safe, and she can’t help but smile as his goatee scratches her chin. He still shivers when she tangles her fingers in his hair, and he still licks her lower lip after he nips it, and he still holds her as tight as he can.

Some things are new, different now that their circumstances have changed so much. He smells like his cheap shampoo instead of gasoline, and he tastes like cinnamon toothpaste instead of cigarettes or beer or coffee, and there’s no stench of bliss or lingering injuries or far-off gunfighting to ruin the moment.

It’s just like it was, but somehow… it’s better.

They break apart when their kisses begin to taste like salt, and Sharky wipes the tears from her cheeks, then he kisses her forehead.

“Oh, my god,” she breathes, eyes still squeezed shut. “I love you.”

He moves like he’s going to wrap her up in another hug, but he scoops her into his arms instead. She shrieks, considers lashing out, and then bursts into laughter instead.

He’s beaming at her when she wraps her arms around his neck for stability, then he starts carrying her up to his home.

“I love you, too, shorty. I’m glad you came back.”

He has to put her down on his porch to get the door to his trailer open, and she grabs his free hand as he does. It’s just like their first time together, when she held his hand to keep him from losing his nerve as they walked to the house he’d gotten ready for her, but this time, she’s just tugging him through to his bedroom as fast as possible.

He follows her, of course he does, laughing a little at her eagerness, and she winks at him over her shoulder.

He grabs for her as soon as they’re near the bed, wrapping his arms around her waist and letting one hand dip down to her ass to squeeze through the fabric. She smiles as she lets him pull her close, lifting up onto her toes so she can reach him better to accept his next kiss, this one a little harder than the one they shared outside, a little hungrier now that they’re definitely not going to be seen.

Why did she wait so long to come out here?

What was she trying to prove to herself?

Guilt creeps up on her, distracting her from the feel of his beard on her face and his tongue against hers, and then his hands pull her attention right back to him as they start to pull her skirt up so he can get his hands on her skin, still on her ass.

Sharky swallows the little noise of surprise she makes, moaning back at her as he squeezes and lifts and encourages her to lift one of her legs to wrap around his thigh.

“Oh, fuck, I missed you.” Sharky breaks their kiss because he can’t bear to be silent for another moment, and Mattie takes advantage of it by leaning closer and kissing the base of his throat. “Oh, my god. Do you know how many times I fuckin’ jerked it thinkin’ about you showing up here like you just did?”

She wiggles herself free of his grasp and pushes his chest so he sits down hard on his mattress. “That all you missed?”

She waits for his answer, trying to hide her smile, hands on her hips.

He blinks once, then grabs for her again, trying to pull her down into his lap. “No, fuck no, I missed everything about you.”

She kicks off her shoes and climbs onto him, hovering a little over his lap on her knees so she can tug at his hoodie to make him take it off.

“Like what?”

He pulls his hoodie off, and she rewards him by resting her weight on him. He bites his lower lip and groans; he’s already hard.

He buries his face in the crook of her neck, and speaks against her skin. “I missed you bossin’ me around all the time,” he says, and then leaves an open-mouthed kiss against her throat. “And how you always actually listened to me.” Another kiss, this time on the underside of her jaw. “And how you were always putting your cold fuckin’ hands in my shirt.”

She laughs and does just that, sliding her hands under the collar of his tank top to rest on the warm skin of his back. He shivers good-naturedly and noses her sweater to the side so he can find a good patch of skin under her collarbone to latch onto.

“I kinda missed always having hickeys,” she says, rocking just a little in his lap to tease them both, telling the truth even though she wouldn’t admit it to anyone else. She liked having the little reminders of Sharky when they were apart, the little bruises that showed she had someone who cared about her as much as she cared about him.

Sharky makes a little grumbling sound that sounds like he wants to talk, but he doesn’t release her skin as he focuses on sucking a mark that will last, and she laughs again, delighted. 

He finally releases her and admires his handwork before looking up to meet her gaze. “You always laughed a lot when we were foolin’ around, but not like, at me, you know? Just ‘cause you were havin’ fun. I missed that too.”

She moves her hands to cup his jaw, holding him still so she can memorize the expression in his warm blue eyes. “I love you so much.”

He beams at her. “I love you more.”

She kisses him again because she doesn’t know what else to say, doesn’t know how else to show him how she feels. 

The relationship they built while fighting the cult together was too strong to fade away like the physical pains and sharp-edged memories of the horrors. It feels now, wrapped up in each other, that they’ve never been apart and will never be apart again.

She drops her sweater to the floor and yanks off Sharky’s top, desperate to feel his skin against hers. He only lets her move enough to remove clothing and then grabs for her again, not willing to let her get very far away at all. 

He flips them, finally, when she starts trying to get at his belt, turning so that she’s flat on his mattress and he’s kneeling over her. He ignores her reaching hands and slides his hands up her legs, smooth for the first time he’s touched them, then back down, then up again all the way to where her panties rest on her hips.

“That’s ni— oh, fuck.” He pauses with her panties half down her thighs, exposing how she’s shaved herself completely for him. She didn’t know if he’d prefer it or not, knows he absolutely doesn’t care if she’s completely hairy, but it felt good to take the time to follow her old routines. “Fuck, yeah, okay.”

He flips her skirt all the way up and leans down without any other words leaving his lips to cover her slit with his mouth.

He’s just as enthusiastic as she remembers, and she shrieks as his tongue presses into her. It’s wet and messy and eager and so Sharky that she can’t do anything but hold on with her fingers tangled in his hair and her heels digging into his back. He groans against her, feasting on her, eyebrows drawn together as he focuses all his energy on giving her the most pleasure he can.

His beard burns her sensitive skin, wetness drips down the curve of her ass and onto the back of her dress, and Sharky’s fingers press little bruises into the flesh of her thighs as he holds her still. 

It’s so good, it’s too good, and it’s wonderful, and if this is how it’s going to be the rest of her life she might just die for good with his head between her legs.

What a fuckin’ way to go.

She wails as she comes, pulls Sharky’s hair and kicks his back by accident, and then she laughs a little hysterically when he tries to keep going like he did their first morning together.

“Stop, fuckin’ Christ, Sharky. Holy shit.” He stops right when she says, sits back on his knees and beams down at her, proud of himself, face flushed and beard wet, stupid gold chain still around his neck because he never takes it off. “I love that you love that so much, but if you want me to ride you again, you’re going to have to quit it.”

His mouth drops open a little as he sucks in a deep breath, the flush on his cheeks darkening dangerously, and then he’s twisting around in obedience to flop on the mattress next to her. He opens his belt and wiggles his jeans down over his hips as Mattie pushes herself to her feet so she can drop her dress with her sweater and grab a condom from the pile she remembers, and then she turns around to see him watching her with one hand tucked behind his head and the other slowly pumping his cock.

She watches him right back for a minute, taking in the red and orange ink on his forearm, the twisting of the muscles there making the flames look like they’re dancing, the burned skin on his shoulder and chest, the hair across his pecs and stomach, the little bit of tummy he sucks in when he sees her looking.

“This what you did waiting for me to come back?”

He nods at her, pumping himself a little harder as he keeps waiting. He doesn’t look back up at her face, apparently unable to drag his eyes away from her breasts, her stomach, her bare thighs still glistening when she takes a step forward.

“Here.” She tosses him the condom and climbs on the bed as he rolls it on, then crawls over him on all fours as he watches her with wide, fond eyes. “Ready, baby?”

“Fuck yeah,” Sharky says, voice a little too rough to be as bright as it usually is. He puts one hand on her ribs and holds himself steady with the other so she can sink down on to him, and he moans aloud as she does. He doesn’t look away from the sight, and she doesn’t look away from his face, and as soon as he’s hilted inside of her she’s leaning down to kiss him.

He tastes like her, and she licks it from his mouth as she starts to move on still-shaky legs, fucking him nice and slow so she can drag it out. He can’t stop touching her, running his hands over her thighs and hips, ribs and breasts, into her hair that’s so much softer than it was in the bliss for her access to proper conditioning treatments, across her neck and down her back to start the process over again.

The drag and slide inside of her is exquisite, beautiful, a feeling she’s missed these long weeks, and she can’t stop kissing him even when her face starts to burn. She fucks him a little harder when his groans grow louder, feels sweat beading along her hairline and dripping down her temple before Sharky kisses it away.

“Sharky, baby, you feel so good,” she says, cheek pressed against his, trembling as his fingers tighten on her hips and he thrusts up into her like he can’t help it anymore. “Gonna make me come again.”

His groan is deep in his chest, his next thrust a little harder into her, knocking off her balance so she falls against his chest with a high, breathy giggle. 

He wraps his arms around her and holds her against him, using his leverage to start really fucking into her. She giggles again and holds onto his shoulders, nuzzling against his cheek as she just relaxes her body and lets the pleasure grow inside her, listening to his deep groans.

She loves how loud he is when they’re in bed together, how willing he is to let her know how good she’s making him feel.

“Yeah, just like that, I love it, I love you, c’mon, baby…”

His hands tighten and she revels in it, in the bright spots of pain under the pleasure, and she presses her face against the scar on his shoulder and cries out, long and low, as she comes on his cock. 

He follows her over the edge immediately, like he was just waiting for her permission, his moan half muffled in her hair as he curls into her. She shivers and clenches around him, tight, pulling another low moan out of him, and she sits up a little and laughs because otherwise she might cry at just how goddamn happy she feels, finally, finally, after everything.

Sharky beams up at her, eyes half-closed and sleepy looking, and tucks a loose curl behind her ear.

She kisses him, soft and slow, still smiling, and then moves to stretch out on her side next to him. She waits as he gets up to throw out the condom, then he comes back and gathers her into his arms.

He kisses her forehead. “Now what?”

She shrugs and nuzzles at the underside of his jaw. “We just take it one day at a time, I guess.”

He makes a sleepy, grumbly noise deep in his throat. “Mkay.” Trusting, loving, beautiful Sharky. “I love you.”

She presses herself as close to him as she can. “I love you too.”

[bechloeislegit]

25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2019

DAY 22 - CALENDAR GIRL CHRISTMAS

Prompt comes from a Tumblr post by user rejection-isnt-failure: Chloe gets a very special Christmas gift in the mail. Suddenly, everything she knows gets turned upside down. Set after PP3. Not sure this is what you were looking for, but this is where my mind went.

It was the Monday before Thanksgiving and Beca Mitchell was nearing completion of her first solo album. She had been in L.A. for almost a year

One of her best friends, Stacie, was in L.A. to celebrate Thanksgiving with her parents. Today, Stacie and her daughter, Bella, was hanging out with Beca while Beca did a photoshoot for the cover of her album.

"I can't believe the studio thinks I need to look like this on the cover of my album," Beca said, looking at her outfit.

"You look hot, Beca," Stacie said as she rocked Bella in her arms.

"It's just not me," Beca said, pulling the front of her shirt up to get rid of the ample cleavage that was on display. "I don't dress like this on the regular. It's like putting a lie on my album. Plus, why do all these outfits show off my boobs."

"They're great boobs," Stacie said. "Plus, sex sells." Stacie reached over to pull the front of Beca's shirt back down to display more cleavage. "You want to sell the album, so the cover should be hot to draw people to it."

"Why can't they buy it because they like my music?" Beca asked. "And not because they almost get to see my boobs."

"These pictures are going to have every man and woman wanting a piece of Beca Mitchell."

"Every woman?' Beca asked with a raised brow. "I can think of one who would disagree with that."

"If she doesn't," Stacie said. "She's more messed up than I thought."

"She's not messed up," Beca said. "She's just in love with someone who isn't me."

"Why are you still defending her?" Stacie asked.

"I'm not defending her," Beca said. "She didn't know how I felt about her and that's on me. Do I love her? Yes, I do. But I never told her so I can't blame her for being with someone else. Someone who could tell her how they felt about her."

"Well, you're the only one who's not mad at her," Stacie said. "Brey is still livid. Chloe ran off with Chicago and has ignored us since. She doesn't answer calls or respond to texts. We're supposed to be family and you don't do that to family."

"We exchange texts now and then," Beca said. "She always asks about the Bellas."

"Why doesn't she answer us instead of asking you about us?" Stacie asked. "We left countless messages for her."

"In any of your messages, did you ever apologize to her?" Beca asked. "I mean, you all yelled at her and told her she was stupid for staying; stupid for leaving everything behind for some guy she just met. You all know how insecure she was about taking seven years to graduate from Barden and calling her stupid just added more to her insecurities. It's no wonder she cut off all contact after you all ganged up on her. And I can't blame her; I'd have done the same thing if you treated me that way."

"She doesn't deserve you, you know," Stacie said. "You're too good for her."

"She's still one of my best friends," Beca said. "I've accepted that's all I'll be, why can't you?"

Stacie shrugged as she had no real answer to Beca's question.

"Miss Mitchell," a voice called out. "We're ready for you."

"I'll be right there," Beca said. She looked at Stacie. "Are you coming out with me?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," Stacie said.

Beca checked her outfit once more and led the way to, Jason, the photographer.

"Beca," Jason said. "You look amazing. We'll take a few shots of you in this outfit and then we'll need you to change. I believe we have four outfits to get through?"

Beca nodded and the photographer smiled. "Good. Let's get started."

Stacie stood off to the side as she watched Beca being photographed. She chuckled as Beca grimaced and the photographer tried to get some decent shots.

Stacie's smile fell as she thought about what Beca had said about Chloe. Maybe Beca was right. They did treat Chloe pretty shitty at the time and hadn't apologized. No one has reached out to her after the initial attempts almost a year ago. And, Chloe hasn't contacted them, but she could understand why she hadn't. If Beca can be okay with Chloe staying behind to be with Chicago, why can't they?

Stacie knows Brey misses her best friend. Maybe it was time to reach out and try and repair the Bellas' relationship with Chloe. After all, they are supposed to be family and Bellas for life.

"What a little cutie," a woman said, startling Stacie out of her thoughts. "How old?"

"Oh, um, she'll be a year next month," Stacie said.

"She's adorable," the woman said.

"Thank you," Stacie said. She looked at the woman as an idea suddenly popped into her head. "Do you work with the photographer?"

"I'm Jason's assistant, Dana Wells," the woman said.

"It's nice to meet you," Stacie said. "I'm Stacie Conrad, Beca's best friend. And I was wondering if you could help me with something."

"I'll do my best," Dana said, checking to see how the photo shoot was going before turning back to Stacie. "So, tell me what you need my help with."

Stacie and Dana continued to talk until the photographer told Beca to change into the next outfit.

~ Day 22 of 2019's 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases ~

A week later, Stacie was back in Atlanta with Aubrey. Stacie told Aubrey about her conversation with Beca bout Chloe. Aubrey agreed that maybe it was time to contact Chloe and apologize so they could get their friend back.

Stacie also told Aubrey her idea and how the photographer's assistant helped her with it. They both agreed they should put the plan into action. Stacie pulled out her phone and placed a call to Beca.

"Hey, Beca," Stacie said when Beca answered.

"Hey, Stacie," Beca said. "What's up?"

"Brey and I were talking about Chloe," Stacie said. "And we want to apologize to her. Do you have her address? We want to send her an invitation to our Bellas Christmas Party. We know it will be short notice, but we thought that would be a perfect way to get her to visit."

"I think that's a great idea," Beca said. "Do you want me to text her about it? Give her a heads up so she has time to make plans and flight arrangements."

"Um, yeah," Stacie said. "But can I get her address anyway? We want to send her a Christmas card to let her know we're serious about wanting her back in our lives."

"Oh, okay," Beca said. "Hang on."

Beca went through her desk to find Chloe's address.

"What's happening?" Aubrey asked.

Stacie filled her in on what Beca had said and was waiting for Beca to find Chloe's address.

"Here it is," Beca said.

"I'm ready," Stacie responded.

Beca gave Stacie the address and Stacie thanked her.

"I'll text Chloe when we're done here," Beca said. "I'll let you know when I hear back from her."

A few minutes later, Beca ended the call with Stacie. She pulled up her text thread with Chloe and started typing.

Beca: Hey, Chloe. I have something to talk to you about. Can you call me? It's too long to put in a text. But, if you don't want to talk to me, I can send a text.

Beca knew that Spain was about nine hours ahead of L.A. so it was around nine-thirty at night there. She wasn't expecting to hear from Chloe until much later that night L.A. time or even the next day.

Twenty minutes later, Beca's phone rang and she was surprised to see Chloe's name on the caller ID.

"Chloe?" Beca asked as she answered the call.

"Yeah, Becs, it's me," Chloe said. "Um, how are you?"

"I'm good," Beca said, smiling. "How are you?"

"Same," Chloe said. "So, um, what's up? What did you want to talk to me about? I have to admit I was surprised you wanted me to call instead of just calling me."

"Yeah, I thought I'd let you decide if you wanted to talk to me or not," Beca said. "We've only been texting and I, uh." Beca took a deep breath and let it out. "I know I wasn't very supportive of your decision to stay in Spain. I was surprised that it was because of some guy. It's not like you to-. No, no, I'm not doing that. I miss you, Chloe, and I'm not going to say something that will have you ignore me, too."

Chloe doesn't say anything for a moment and Beca starts to panic. "Um, Chlo? Are you still there?"

"Yeah," Chloe said softly. "I let my hurt feelings keep me from my best friends; my family. It's just-" Chloe sighed. "I thought they would have been happy for me, you know?"

"I get it, Chloe," Beca said. "I do. It's just the way it all went down. No one was expecting it and I'm sorry if I made you feel bad about it."

"Thank you," Chloe said. She sniffled and said, "So, what did you want to talk about?"

"Oh," Beca said. "Right. Well, Stacie and Aubrey are extending an olive branch and want to invite you to a Bellas Christmas party they are having. It will be a reunion with all the Bellas and they want you there."

"Why didn't they invite me themselves?" Chloe asked.

"Well, you haven't been answering calls or texts from them," Beca said. "So, I told them I'd invite you so you had more time to consider it and make plans. The party is on Christmas Eve and everyone will be in Atlanta the day before and will be staying a few days after. What do you say, Chlo?"

"I don't think I can, Beca," Chloe said. "I was hoping to go home to spend Christmas with my family in Tampa, but I don't have the money."

"Oh," Beca said disheartened. "Um, I understand. I'll let Stacie know. So, do you think maybe we can talk again? I, uh, I miss our talks; I miss talking to you."

"I'd like that," Chloe said. "I miss talking to you, too. I should go; it's getting late here and I have to be up early in the morning."

"Oh, sure," Beca said. "Uh, give Chicago my best, and I'll talk to you soon."

"Definitely," Chloe said before ending the call.

Beca sighed and sat back on her sofa.

~ Day 22 of 2019's 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases ~

It was an hour later before Beca called Stacie.

"Hey, Beca!" Stacie answered enthusiastically. "You'll never believe what happened."

"What?" Beca asked.

"Chloe texted Brey," Stacie said.

"She did?"

"Yep," Stacie said. "She said she had talked to you and then apologized for not responding to calls and texts. She also said she'd like to talk to Brey sometime if Brey wanted that."

"That's great," Beca said. "Did she tell Brey she couldn't make it for Christmas?"

"Yeah," Stacie said. "We're both disappointed but at least she's reaching out. Brey wanted to call her but it's really late in Spain so I think they made some plans to call tomorrow so it's a decent hour for both."

"That's good to hear," Beca said.

"Thank you, Beca," Stacie said. "Brey won't say it, but having Chloe reach out and want to talk to her has brightened her day immensely."

"Great," Beca said with a laugh. "I guess this means I can take back her Christmas gift."

"Honestly, I think you could and she wouldn't care one bit," Stacie said with a laugh.

"I'll talk to you later, Stace," Beca said. "Give Aubrey my best."

"Will do," Stacie said.

~ Day 22 of 2019's 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases ~

A week before Christmas, Chicago was getting ready to leave for work. He opened the door to find the postman holding out their mail plus a package for Chloe.

"Thank you," Chicago said as he took the mail. "Chloe, there's a package for you."

Chicago quickly sorted through the mail and put Chloe's mail and package in one hand while he threw his mail on the small table by the door.

Chloe walked out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a dishtowel. "What is it?"

"I don't know," Chicago said as he handed Chloe her mail and package. "I'll see you later, I have to go."

"Okay," Chloe said.

Chloe took the package and sat on the sofa. She threw the mail on the table and ripped the outer wrapping off her package; an envelope fell out. She picked up the envelope and slit it open, pulling out a letter.

"Dear Chloe,

Brey and I are sorry you won't be able to make it to our Bellas Christmas reunion. We know the girls miss you almost as much as we do. But, probably not as much as a certain Bella (and you know who we're talking about).

We know you are with Chicago and we respect your choice. But, we also know that you didn't know you had another option to choose from. Beca was going to confess her feelings to you but was a few minutes too late. Instead of finding you to make her confession, she found you kissing Chicago.

Enclosed is a Christmas gift from us to you. Just look at it and I'm sure you'll figure out what to do.

Hope to see or talk to you soon. We do miss you, Chloe.

Stacie"

Chloe tossed the letter down on the table and picked up the wrapped gift. She held it in her hands before ripping the paper away.

"Oh, um, wow!" Chloe muttered when a picture of Beca in a red plaid shirt, and all but two buttons undone, came into view. She always loved seeing Beca in those plaid shirts.

Chloe flipped a page and realized it was a calendar and all the photos were of Beca. She flipped through each month, biting her lip when Beca looked hotter and hotter in each one. Some of the outfits did not look like something Beca would wear, but she did look good in them.

"Oh, my God," Chloe said and swallowed when December's photo was of Beca wearing a black blazer and what looked like nothing underneath. She was sitting on a stool, her bare legs crossed and one high-heeled shoe hanging from her toes. It oozed sexuality.

Chloe closed the calendar and then opened it back to December again. She closed it and threw it on the table.

Chloe ran both hands through her hair and looked down at Beca staring up at her from the cover of the calendar. Chloe fidgeted in her seat and ran her hands up and down her thighs. She reached for the calendar again, only to pull her hand away.

She bit her lip and whimpered slightly as she thought about some of the outfits Beca was wearing.

"What is happening to me?" Chloe thought to herself.

~ Day 22 of 2019's 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases ~

The next day, Chloe couldn't stay away from the calendar. She'd hide it away and like a magnet, it kept drawing her to it. She'd open it and slowly go through each month, biting her lip and feeling herself getting somewhat sexually frustrated. Her frustration was heightened when she got to December. There was something about that picture and the playful look on Beca's face, combined with that outfit. Oh, my God!

Chloe was seriously considering taking care of herself when she heard Chicago's keys in the door. She threw the calendar in the drawer and covered it with some of her clothes. She closed the drawer and ran out to greet Chicago.

Chloe threw herself into Chicago's arms and kissed him passionately.

"Chloe," Chicago said pulling his mouth from hers. "What are you doing?"

"I need you," Chloe growled.

"Chloe, stop," Chicago said. "I don't know what is causing you to be this way, but you need to stop. I already told you I wasn't going to do the friends with benefits thing with you. I have a girlfriend and doing this will just make things worse."

Chloe got an embarrassed look on her face. She backed away from Chicago with her hand to her mouth.

"I, I'm sorry, I don't know why I did that," Chloe said before turning and rushing into her bedroom.

Chicago let out a sigh and ran a hand through his hair. He pulled himself together and went to the kitchen to get something to drink.

Chloe threw herself on her bed and let out a shaky breath. She knew what she did was wrong but she was so worked up that she couldn't help herself. Truth be told, she was still worked up so she gathered a change of clothes and went into the bathroom to take a shower. A cold shower.

~ Day 22 of 2019's 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases ~

Things weren't any better for Chloe the next day. She managed to stay away from the calendar but she had the hottest photos memorized and kept daydreaming about Beca being there with her. She no longer had a song as her lady jam; Beca's pictures were all she needed.

Chloe doesn't embarrass easily, but she found herself blushing when she heard Chicago come home just after she had finished taking care of herself while thinking of Beca. She rushed into the bathroom to wash her hands. She came out and could hear Chicago in the kitchen; it sounded like he was making dinner. She returned to her room and flopped back on her bed.

As soon as dinner was ready, Chicago knocked on Chloe's door.

"Hey, Chloe," Chicago called through the door. "I made some pasta and it's ready if you're hungry."

"I'll be right out," Chloe called back.

Chicago went back to the kitchen and set the table. Chloe came out a few minutes later.

"Thanks for making dinner," Chloe said as she sat down.

"No problem," Chicago said.

Chicago and Chloe ate without speaking. Chicago broke the silence first.

"So, do you want to talk about why you attacked me yesterday as soon as I walked in the door?"

"Oh, God," Chloe said. "I'm so embarrassed and so sorry I did that. Stacie and Aubrey sent me a Chrismas present and it kind of turned me on."

"What was it?" Chicago asked with a laugh.

"A calendar," Chloe said. "Of Beca and she looked hot."

"Oh," Chicago said, grinning. "Can I see it?" He waggled his eyebrows.

"No, you perv," Chloe said, slapping his arm and causing him to laugh.

"That hot, huh?"

"Yes, it was that hot," Chloe said.

"Are you going to go for it when you get home?" Chicago asked. "Tell Beca how you feel."

"I want to," Chloe said. "Stacie's note said that Beca was going to confess that she had feelings for me, but, I, uh, I kissed you first."

"Sorry," Chicago said with sincerity, but couldn't help the smile that came to his face. "It was a hell of a kiss though."

"It was," Chloe said. "I need you to know that I'm not sorry for our time together. I am sorry that it didn't work out the way I thought it would."

"I am too," Chicago said. "But, you were honest with me and I got a really great friend from it. So, when do you plan to tell Beca everything?"

"When I see her," Chloe said. "I just wish I knew when that would be."

Chicago wiped his mouth and got up. "I think I can help with that," he said as he walked to the table by the door. He had an envelope in his hand when he got back to the table.

"Here," Chicago said as he handed the envelope to Chloe. "Merry Christmas."

Chloe took the envelope and opened it. She pulled out what was inside and looked at it; she gasped.

"Chicago," Chloe said surprised. "You got me a ticket to Tampa?"

"I know you've been saving up so you could go home, but haven't saved enough yet," Chicago said. "And I also know that you want to see the Bellas again, so I got you a ticket home so you can be there for Christmas. It's one way by the way."

Chloe smiled at that and said, "You know I love you, right?"

"I know. And, I love you, too."

"So, you won't be mad if I exchanged this for a ticket to Atlanta?"

"We can do that right now," Chicago said, grabbing his laptop from the counter and sitting back down at the table.

Chloe got up and hugged the man. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Chicago said.

Chicago quickly did some checking and was able to change the ticket to Atlanta. "Done. You now fly out to Atlanta in three days. I'll help you box up your stuff you're not taking with you and ship it to your mom's for you."

"You're a good guy," Chloe said. "And I'm glad we can walk away from this as friends." Chloe grinned and added, "I bet your girlfriend won't be too upset to see me go."

Chicago laughed. "The one-way ticket was her idea."

Chloe let out a laugh as she sat back down to finish dinner.

~ Day 22 of 2019's 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases ~

Chloe nervously bounced her leg up and down as they got closer to Atlanta. She had already been en route for over fourteen hours, and she had been too keyed up to sleep for more than a couple of hours.

The captain made an announcement about descending and landing soon. Chloe only half heard what was said. All she could think about was seeing Aubrey, Stacie, and Bellas.

"Who am I kidding?" Chloe thought. "I'm scared to death to see Beca. What if Stacie was wrong? What if Beca only likes me as a friend?"

While Chloe was lost in her thoughts, passengers were already blocking the aisles and exiting the plane. Chloe remained in her seat until there were only a few passengers left.

Chloe slowly made her way off the plane. She dragged her carryon behind her and got on the escalator heading down to the baggage claim. She felt as if someone was staring at her and as she lifted her head, her eyes locked on those of her best friend, Aubrey. Tears filled Chloe's eyes as she continued to maintain eye contact.

Chloe ran straight into Aubrey's arms as soon as she cleared the escalator. She dropped her bag as her arms moved to pull Aubrey into a hug. The two friends stood, holding each other, mumbling, "I'm sorry" and "I miss you."

After a few minutes, Aubrey pulled back, wiping her tears, and looked at Chloe. "You look amazing, Chloe."

"You're not looking so bad yourself, Brey," Chloe said, wiping her tears as well.

"Let's get your bags," Aubrey said.

~ Day 22 of 2019's 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases ~

The next morning, Stacie was pacing back and forth in the kitchen while holding Bella.

"Babe, you're going to wear a hole in the floor," Aubrey said from the counter where she was cutting up fruit and putting together platters for the Christmas Eve brunch.

"I want to see Chloe," Stacie said. "It's been so long."

"I know," Aubrey said. "But it was a long journey for her to get here and she didn't get any sleep on the plane. Let her be and you can wake her up around eleven before the girls start arriving for brunch."

"Fine," Stacie said and stopped pacing. She put Bella in her high chair and asked, "What can I do to help with brunch?"

Aubrey and Stacie had been working together for two hours when Chloe appeared in the kitchen.

"Chloe!" Stacie squealed, running over to hug the half-asleep redhead.

"It's good to see you, Stacie," Chloe mumbled against Stacie's shoulder. Chloe pulled back from the hug and looked past Stacie. "Bella!"

Chloe hurried over to the young child. "You are so adorable! Oh, my gosh, you guys. She is just the cutest. Can I hold her?"

"Sure," Aubrey said.

Chloe took Bella out of her chair and put her on her hip. She kissed Bella's forehead.

"Hey, Chloe, I'm sorry I haven't apologized for being such a bitch to you," Stacie said. "It was unfair of me, of us, to dump on you for staying behind with Chicago. Brey told me you guys broke up. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Chloe said. "I understand. Let's just forget it and move on. I've missed you and the girls so much."

The doorbell rang and Stacie and Aubrey looked at each other.

"It's only ten," Stacie said. "Someone's super early. I'll get it."

Stacie left to answer the door and Chloe asked Aubrey if there was coffee.

"Beca," Stacie said, answering the door. "You're early. Why are you early? You're never early."

"I have a birthday present for Bella and wanted to give it to her before it got too crazy," Beca said.

"Her birthday isn't for a week," Stacie said.

"I know but I won't be here," Beca said. "I'll have to get back to L.A. for New Year's Eve. Where's Aubrey?"

"Um, she is in the kitchen," Stacie said. "Before you go in there, I have to tell you something."

"What?"

Stacie told Beca about getting some of the photos from her album cover photoshoot and making them into a calendar and sending it to Chloe.

"Why would you do that?" Beca asked as she stormed into the kitchen. "Aubrey, did you know about this calendar that Stacie sent to-. Oh! Um, Chloe, I thought you couldn't make it."

"My plans changed," Chloe said, bouncing Bella on her hip.

"I'll take Bella," Stacie said. "You two might want to talk and catch up."

"Thanks, Stacie," Beca said, glaring at her.

"Oh, wait here," Chloe said and rushed out of the kitchen.

"Was she talking to me?" Beca asked.

"I think she was," Stacie said.

"Why didn't you tell me she was here?" Beca asked.

"She wanted to surprise you and the girls," Aubrey answered.

"Where's Chicago?" Beca asked.

"It's in Illinois," Stacie said, laughing.

"Haha," Beca deadpanned.

"He's still in Spain," Aubrey answered, slapping Stacie's arm.

"What happened?"

"We broke up about six months ago," Chloe said, having heard the last part of the conversation. "It's okay. It was mutual. We both had feelings for someone else. We're friends now."

"Oh," Beca said. "Friends."

"Yeah," Chloe said. "Friends. Like you and Jesse after you broke up. We still care about each other but there's nothing romantic there."

"So, who's the new person you have feelings for?" Stacie asked, smirking.

"Well, it's not really a new person, per se," Chloe said. "This should answer the question," Chloe said, holding out the calendar for Beca to see.

"Stacie!" Beca said, flipping through the calendar. "Why would you send this to her?"

"I'm glad she did," Chloe said. "My memories of you were fading just a bit, but these photos brought them back and for that, I will be forever grateful. They're really hot!"

"I, uh, I don't understand," Beca said. "You, um, you liked the pictures."

"Mm-hmm," Chloe said, moving to stand in front of Beca. "Actually, I liked who was in the pictures. And I have to say, seeing the real thing is even hotter."

"Oh, um," Beca cleared her throat and blushed.

"So, I'm not going back to Spain," Chloe said, offhandedly. "I'll probably move back in with my folks in Tampa until I find a job or something."

Stacie and Aubrey were smiling and shaking their heads at Beca's obliviousness.

"Really?" Beca squeaked out.

"Yes," Chloe said. "But, before I make a decision I was wondering if you still had the outfit you wore for December? I'd love to see you recreate that photo for me. It's my new lady jam."

Stacie snorted and turned her head into Aubrey's shoulder to keep from laughing out loud at Beca's reaction.

"Your lady jam?" Beca said, confused. "But that's when you-. Oh!

Chloe got a predatory look on her face and moved closer to Beca. "I heard a rumor that you might like me."

"You did?" Beca said, looking over at Stacie and Aubrey before turning her eyes back to Chloe.

"I did," Chloe said, now standing so that she and Beca were almost nose-to-nose. "I hope it's true because I really, really like you."

"Really?" Beca squeaked out and tried to step back, but was up against the counter and couldn't.

"Really, really," Chloe said and pressed her lips to Beca's.

A moan or whimper escaped from Beca but she pulled Chloe closer and deepened the kiss. The kiss ended and Beca swallowed and looked around before looking at Chloe again.

Beca smiled and leaned in to kiss Chloe again. Chloe pulled out of the kiss and stepped back a few inches.

"So, Beca Mitchell, would you want to go out with me sometime?" Chloe asked.

"What are you doing New Year's Eve?" Beca asked. "And how do you feel about coming to L.A. to celebrate with me?"

Stacie and Aubrey's mouths fell open; it was a bold move on Beca's part.

"I'd love to spend New Year's Eve with you in L.A.," Chloe said and gave Beca a quick peck on the lips.

"Oh, my God, you two," Stacie said rushing to pull them both into a hug. "This is so exciting. I'm so happy for you!"

"Thanks, Stacie," Chloe said and winked at Stacie, adding, "And thanks for sending the calendar."

Beca rolled her eyes and blushed. Chloe laughed and pulled her into another quick kiss.

"I should go shower and get dressed," Chloe said. "Before the girls get here."

Chloe started out of the kitchen when Beca smiled and asked, "Need some help?"

Stacie grabbed Beca by the back of the shirt. "Oh, no, you don't. You can help us get ready for the girls to arrive."

They could hear Chloe laughing as she continued toward the guest room.

"Oh, I almost forgot," Beca said, pulling out an envelope out of her purse. "This is for Bella's birthday."

Stacie took the envelope and opened it. "Beca? What is this?"

"I started a college fund for her," Beca said. "I figure it's never too early to start, right? And I put your names on the account so you can manage it."

Aubrey looked over Stacie's shoulder. "Beca, that's very generous of you. Thank you."

~ Day 22 of 2019's 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases ~

Several hours later, the Bellas were sitting around the living room, much like they did when they were still at Barden.

Chloe was snuggled up to Beca with her head on Beca's shoulder. Emily was sitting on the floor in front of Chloe, leaning against her legs. Flo and Fat Amy were playing bartender. CR was sitting on the floor, holding Bella who had fallen asleep. Jessica and Ashley were sharing a chair. And Stacie was sitting on Aubrey's lap in the other chair.

"So, Chloe," Fat Amy said. "What are you and Beca now?"

"Um, we're dating?" Chloe said, looking at Beca.

"I prefer something a little more exclusive, like girlfriends," Beca said, causing Chloe to pull her into a hug and kiss her.

"I knew it!" Emily squealed.

Chloe ended the kiss and said, "Girlfriend? I like it."

"You're her lobster," Jessica said and everyone laughed.

"Merry Christmas, my lobster," Beca said, smiling as she kissed Chloe.

"Merry Christmas, my lobster," Chloe said, smiling into the kiss.

[idratherbeariotthanindifferent]

I've always wondered, especially with your Fortune Teller Series, what your idea of Chase's life is like. Like, what's his story and what's your story for Marvin? I really adore that series & seeing your latest piece with Marvin & Anti, I was just curious if it's connected to it indirectly, like a part of Marvin's life.

hi hello hi! sorry for the late reply, I only just got home and saw this! also, sorry this reply grew to be of novel length, and a weird mix of story/explanation, I’m just so jazzed to talk about this series???? Thank you so much for asking! So, I sort of have two answers for this but this particular answer is just how I see them relating specifically to the FT!AU :D

Essentially, this AU is my idea of sort of what happened around the anti-chase encounter at the end of dark silence (but kinda different than that exact ending)! The backstory is that, when Chase was going through all his rough, dark moments (like the stuff from the original Chase video, minus the shooting), a demonic entity latched on to him. It started taunting him in small ways, (leaving cabinets open that he thought he closed, breathing down the back of his neck in what could have been a breeze but not quite, standing just at the corner of his vision to where he swears, he swears there’s something there watching but when he looks, there’s just his empty, quiet home), and it began to feed on Chase’s disquiet and unease. 

And then it got hungrier, and things started escalating. Chase burnt himself leaning over his stove burners that were turned up to full heat, though he never turned them on, he was shocked pretty harshly quite a few times by his outlets sparking, despite the electrician telling him that nothing was wrong with his wiring, and he still swears that something tripped him that time he took a spill down his staircase, throwing out his shoulder, (though most people figured he was just drunk when he told them about what happened. He wasn’t. He knows he wasn’t. There was something there, he knows he saw something). The entity feeds on Chase’s misery and struggle, and so it watches what he loves the most in order to bring about the most powerful reactions. It plagues Chase with nightmares and makes every single day a little more challenging, a little more emotionally exhausting, and it revels in the downward sag of Chase’s shoulders, in the purpling bags beneath his eyes, in the reach for a glass of whiskey instead of an early night.

But then, Stacy has to go away on business, and she needs Chase to watch the kids while she’s away. He’s just so overwhelmingly happy to have them in the house again, to have noise and laughter and these bright splashes of home and love and the good kind of mess – the kind that means someone else is here, that someone else is existing and creating in this too empty space, where “sorry dad, I accidentally spilled paint on the carpet!” is a thing of joy. But the entity grows restless and furious, as it begins to be starved. And so it decides to remove the problem by taking Chase’s son and daughter to its realm. It then tries to take Chase, as well, to torture and feed on his grief. But something gets in the way. Marvin, in the FT!AU, is primarily a seer, though he also has a hell of a lot of power that he typically tends to avoid using. He does street readings and busking, mostly, (though he’s done some serious house and personal cleansings before, to banish dark energies. However, he’s also done his fair share of dark spells for the right price, so long as he agrees with what’s being asked of him). He doesn’t really know Chase, but the man had stopped quite a few times to watch his performances, and always made sure to chat and hand him a few bills after each show. They aren’t friends, exactly, but Marvin still finds himself enjoying their conversations, and he did feel sort of bad when it seemed like Chase had a lot of stress going on in his life, last time they spoke. He absolutely did not worry when he didn’t see Chase for a long time after that. 

When Marvin happened to encounter Chase again, for the first time in a few months at another one of his street performances, this time Chase was with his kids. And something in his magic core pulled and said pay attention. He shrugged it off, maybe one of the three had some latent or dormant magic, though there was something disquieting about the energy he was feeling. After the performance, Chase’s kids came running up brandishing handfuls of change like precious jewels to dump into his case, talking over each other about “how cool that was, how did you do that?” and “where did those cards go?? also wow your makeup is awesome!” 

He does a little showing off for the kids, makes colourful sparks in his hands that they gasp about, and while they’re distracted he tries to read their energy to see if he feels that same unsettling something that he caught before, but nothing comes through. He extinguishes the sparks and does a showy sweeping bow as he watches Chase come to gather the two to leave. Something pulls again, but before he can get a read on Chase, someone else comes up to talk with him about the performance and he loses the trio to the crowd. 

Marvin continues about his day, but he can’t escape that wriggling feeling of not-right in the back of his mind, and he’s not surprised to feel it grow into the kind of migraine that means a vision is trying to come through. He Sees the family he encountered, and he watches as the entity takes the children and takes the father. When he comes back to himself, his heart is racing in a way it never has. He has never felt an entity this powerful before. He has to try to do something or that family will be destroyed. 

So he races to the place he saw in his vision and tries to intervene before it’s too late, but something goes wrong. The children were already taken to the realm, and when Marvin tried to pull Chase back away from the entity, they both grabbed one of his arms at the same time. Something shattered, and reality faltered. In the split second of them both holding Chase, something came through the energy flow, and Marvin felt something dark and ancient worm its way into his core. 

When Marvin woke up, he was only half in control of his actions. He was in what looked like a fortune teller’s tent, and he watched as his own hands wove puppet like dolls over a crushed velvet tablecloth. He could feel the dark presence inside him pressing against his mind, trying to get back to the rest of the entity. Everything went blank, and he only seemed to come back into himself once the puppet was complete. As he felt himself take control of his body, he tried to understand all that had happened. He’s not sure, but he thinks that when he interrupted the entity trying to pull Chase into its realm, part of the entity’s dark energy came into him through his open magic channel, weakening it, and they got stuck in this in-between realm. He just hopes he has enough power over the energy infecting his core to help himself and everyone get home. When Chase woke up, he felt numb. Something was wrong, this whole world he was in wasn’t right, but he couldn’t find it in himself to truly care. Everything was blissfully numb. No more stress, no more worries, no more fear (no no no no no where are they, what do you want from me), no more anything. Everything was totally the way it was supposed to be. Right? TL;DR: in the FT!AU, a demonic entity is feeding off Chase’s misery and takes Chase’s kids to its realm to heighten that devastation, but when it tries to take Chase, Marvin, (the seer and all around magic boy who had a vision of this all happening and wanted to try and help stop it), intervenes, which shatters reality and gets them all stuck between realms. The entity gets weakened in the interaction as Marvin accidentally takes on some of its dark energy in the intervention. After which, the entity is still lurking but weakened, Marvin loses control of his body for periods of time, and Chase goes numb.So!! that’s basically where/how this AU series starts! One day, I hope I’ll write it all out in a proper story! Thank you so much for always having such kind things to say about my art, and especially about this series! I am always 100% down to talk about it so please feel free to ask anytime you like! Also, the new drawing I did of Anti VS Marvin isn’t totally related to this series, but it’s definitely something I could see potentially happening within it to a degree! Hope you have a great day/night/whenever! 

[lets-talk-appella]

Don’t Touch Her

Bechloe Week Day Three - Drunk Texting

Summary: Getting drunk texts from Chloe is nothing new for Beca. However, when the messages become a little alarming, Beca races into action. Potentially triggering interaction in a bar, though very brief.

Word Count: 3.5 k

AO3 and FFN

Beca reclined on the fold out bed she shared with her best friend, casually scrolling through Instagram on her phone. She ‘liked’ a picture of Aubrey and Stacie together, as well as one of Emily celebrating the end of her semester. Her thumb hesitated over a picture of Jesse with his new dog, unsure whether they’d become good enough friends since their mutual breakup for her to ‘like’ his photos. After debating for a moment, she decided that the dog was cute and hit the button.

After another few minutes of mindless scrolling, Beca set down her phone with a sigh, locking the screen. She looked dejectedly around the small apartment she shared with Chloe and Amy, hoping something interesting would catch her eye. Nothing did.

She glanced hopefully to her right, wondering what Amy was doing, only to see the Australian sprawled out on her back, clearly fast asleep, her mouth hanging open. Beca sighed again. She liked a quiet night in every now and then, sure, but this was a little ridiculous.

It was kind of embarrassing, actually, how bored she was without Chloe there. She wasn’t sure when it had happened, but somehow, she’d started to rely on having Chloe around in the evenings to hang out with. The apartment without her in it seemed smaller and dingier.

Beca missed her best friend more than she cared to admit. Chloe not being with her felt wrong.

She knew she was being dramatic. Chloe had only gone out bar hopping for the evening, so it wasn’t like she was on some major trip across the country. Beca was only put out about it because it had been a spontaneous decision of Chloe’s to “re-live her crazy glory days” and Beca hadn’t been able to make plans of her own.

Chloe had invited her along, of course, but Beca had declined. It was a Thursday night, and she had to work the next day. Besides, she found bars less appealing after her last experience, which had involved far too much tequila and far too little time to make it to a toilet before she’d hurled her guts out on the middle of a dance floor. So, Chloe had gone out alone.

Beca was broken from the unpleasant, tequila-filled memory by a short buzz from her phone. She snatched it up immediately, smiling when she saw a text notification from Chloe. She unlocked her phone, already guessing what the message would be.

Heeyyy Becs another move, at the plus now love you lots be good

Beca rolled her eyes affectionately. Chloe always told her when she was changing bars so that Beca knew where she was. She’d already gotten three similar texts and figured this would be the last one; The Plus was Chloe’s favorite bar and was only three blocks away from their apartment, so she’d probably head home after she finished there. Beca pushed on the text and typed her response.

Thanks dude, be safe.

Chloe replied a few seconds later, always quick to respond to Beca.

youre so nice beca alwyas you care abt me

Beca stifled her laugh. She could tell that Chloe, typically good with grammar and spelling, must be more than slightly tipsy. She typed out a reply.

Of course I care. Almost done?

Chloe got back to her nearly instantly.

Almost i'm pretty gone had 3 shots and 2 mojito already

Beca frowned slightly. Chloe could handle her alcohol, but that was kind of a lot even for her. Bars tend to make their mixed drinks strong, so the mojitos were especially concerning. Still frowning, Beca sent a quick response.

Maybe it’s time to slow down?

She had to wait a little longer for Chloe’s reply, the unusual delay making her wonder if she’d offended Chloe with her suggestion. But then, her phone buzzed in her hand once, twice, three times, until she had a string of messages from Chloe.

bec theres a really nice guy

hes bying shots for evryn

no just me

this guy is buying drinks

hes so nice

I like shots

Beca read through the messages quickly, her worry increasing with each one. Chloe was entering scary drunk territory, and some random guy was encouraging it. Beca closed her eyes, berating herself for not going out with Chloe. It had been dumb to let her go to drink alone. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Chloe; she didn’t trust this mystery guy.

She opened her eyes, needing to respond to Chloe to gauge how drunk she really was. Though, even as Beca frantically typed into her phone, she already had a good idea of where Chloe was at based on the look of her messages.

Chlo, drink some water for a bit. What’s this guy’s name?

She hit send, only to receive even more messages from her best friend.

he ask about you

well asked why im alone

told him my beca is at home

he got me another drink

Beca jumped off the bed, her heart racing. She didn’t like the questions this guy was apparently asking. It had gone on long enough. Chloe needed to come home.

She paced around the apartment, half wanting to wake Amy to ask what she thought. With slightly shaking fingers, she typed out a message to Chloe.

Come home, please. I’m worried.

As soon as it sent, another text from Chloe appeared. Beca groaned; she knew Chloe hadn’t read her last message. She devoured the texts from Chloe as they appeared.

im tired

feel fnny

he keeeps tuching me

he want my phone

Beca’s blood turned to ice. The air rushed from her lungs as if she’d been punched in the stomach. No. What had that guy done? Put something in one of Chloe’s many drinks?

Even before her brain had time to fully register the wave of panic rising in her throat, Beca spun to the front door, nearly tripping over a pair of Chloe’s boots on the floor as she grabbed a jacket and her keys. She shoved her feet into her shoes, only bothering to tie them because she knew she’d be running. She flew out of the apartment, the door slamming behind her (sorry Amy), pounding her thumb onto the call icon next to Chloe’s name in her phone. She launched herself down the stairs of their apartment building at breakneck speed as the ringtone sounded in her hear.

“Pick up, pick up, pick up,” she chanted as she ran. The phone rang and rang until her call was sent abruptly to voicemail. She slipped at the sound of Chloe’s recorded request to leave a message and tumbled down the last few stairs, sliding to land painfully on her butt. With barely a thought to her own injuries, she forced herself up impatiently and pressed the call icon again, plowing through the exit door to arrive on the street.

She turned in the direction of The Plus bar and started running, drawing more than a few stares from passersby. She knew she might be overreacting, but Chloe was her best friend. Chloe was the most important person in her life.

Chloe wasn’t answering her phone. Beca swore and tried again, not intending to give up anytime soon. She was panting, feet pounding against the pavement, choking on her breath and on her fear. Absurdly, she felt like she was in one of the many action movies Jesse had talked her into watching while they’d dated.

Chloe still didn’t answer her phone.

But it didn’t matter because Beca could see the sign for the bar. She stopped trying to call Chloe and instead snatched her ID from its pocket on her phone case, sprinting up to the bouncer at the door and thrusting the ID into his hands.

“Woah, there, in a hurry?” the bouncer asked, shining his light on her ID before reaching to hand it back.

“What does it look like?” she snapped, ripping her card from his outstretched hand and shoving past him into the bar.

It was fairly crowded inside for a Thursday, sweaty bodies writhing around, most holding some sort of liquid in the bar’s plastic cups. Despite the number of people present, Beca’s eyes immediately zeroed in on the red hair she spotted at the bar, knowing in her heart that it was Chloe. She had always been able to find Chloe in a crowd, as if some invisible thread existed between them, pulling them together.

She made a beeline toward Chloe, eyes on the guy standing much too close to her. Beca shoved through the crowd, most of them parting automatically when they saw her to seek cover from her rage. When she got closer, she could see the large number of empty glasses in front of Chloe. She also saw the guy’s hand on Chloe’s back. He had her phone, too, moved away from her and set facedown next to his own drink farther along the bar.

Beca’s stomach tightened, her blood boiling. That’s why Chloe hadn’t been answering: she couldn’t.

She was on them in an instant. She grabbed his wrist and flung his hand away from Chloe, barreling in between them and forcing him back several steps. She only took a moment to glance at Chloe, all wide and confused blue eyes, before she turned on the guy who’d been way too close to her best friend.

“Get away from her!” Beca yelled right in his stupid, surprised face. He was older than them, and bigger, with dark hair and small eyes.

“Bec?” Chloe’s voice, slurred and confused, almost made her turn around, but she knew she couldn’t let the man out of her sight.

He sneered at her, leaning in to say in a nasally voice, “Go fuck yourself, we were having a good time.”

Beca snarled at him and snatched Chloe’s phone from the bar, shoving it into a pocket, her own phone in her other. “That involved making sure she couldn’t call for help?”

She felt familiar hands rest on her back, clutching at her jacket. Beca reached back her right hand without taking her eyes from the man, calming slightly when Chloe’s fingers laced with hers.

“Listen, bitch,” the man said, “Ginger here is going to come with me, and you’re going to leave and forget you saw anything.”

Beca’s mouth filled with bile and her fingers tightened on Chloe’s. He wouldn’t take her. Not over her dead body.

“Yeah, that’s not happening,” she spit back. “She and I leave together.” She raised her voice so that Chloe could hear her and said, “Chloe, we’re going home.”

Chloe clung tighter to her, mumbling inaudibly and Beca felt her stand unsteadily from her stool.

“I don’t think so,” the man growled. He reached around Beca, trying to grab Chloe again.

Beca saw red.

“Don’t touch her!” she shouted, swinging her left hand up in a fist. Her punch connected solidly with the side of his face, jerking his head back and making him stumble away from them. Chloe screamed, drawing the attention of everyone around them.

Chaos erupted in Beca’s mind, her only goal to get Chloe out safely. Chloe’s hand was still in hers so she whipped around to support Chloe, leading her rapidly to the exit. She heard the man calling obscenities after them, but he didn’t follow. Beca risked a glance over her shoulder to see that several other guys, including the bartender, were holding him back, preventing him from getting to them.

Beca fought a path through the crowd, never losing contact with Chloe. She stumbled once, her foot having caught on someone else’s, but Chloe supported her surprisingly well and they made their way to the exit. For a moment, she thought she was going to have to punch the bouncer, too, to get through; he stood, blocking her way, only to move aside at the last second to let them pass. Once they made it out of the bar, he moved back in place and she understood – he was making sure they weren’t followed.

She fully intended to race home but was dragged to a halt after only a couple of feet by the hand holding hers. Shocked, she turned, wondering if Chloe had forgotten something. But Chloe released her hand to teeter alarmingly to the side of the building, leaned forward, and was sick against it. Beca was there instantly, holding her hair back, grimly relieved. If that creep had put anything in her drink, it was gone now.

She waited for Chloe to finish, finally registering the throbbing in her left hand. She internally berated herself for not punching the man somewhere softer, but it had still done the trick. It had gotten him away from her best friend. Fury rose in Beca, and she was tempted to run back inside the bar to hit the man again, as many times as possible.

However, reason kicked in and she forgot her rage when Chloe, wiping her mouth, straightened up to look at her. She was shaking, whether from adrenaline or from being sick Beca wasn’t sure. Without hesitation, Beca slipped off her jacket and put it around Chloe, trying to comfort her.

“Hey, it’s okay, it’s over,” Beca soothed, her hands sliding up and down Chloe’s arms bracingly.

Chloe blinked at her, attempting to clear some of the alcohol haze from her mind. “You found me,” she said, looking at Beca like she’d put the stars in the sky.

“Of course,” Beca replied softly. “I’ll always find you. I’ll always be there.”

Chloe nodded jerkily. Beca hated how pale she looked, how shaky she still felt under her touch. Her anger spiked again, but this time at herself for not accompanying Chloe and for not checking on her immediately after leaving the bar.

“Thanks, Bec,” mumbled Chloe. “’M really drunk.”

Beca couldn’t stop the small, crooked smile that formed at Chloe’s words. “I know,” she said. “That’s okay. I’m here. Let’s go home?”

Chloe nodded and Beca turned away, only to feel Chloe’s hand land on her arm and pull. She knew what Chloe wanted and opened her arms, enveloping Chloe in a hug. She smelled like alcohol and sweat, but Beca squeezed her tight, thankful that the bar was in running distance from their apartment. She didn’t know what she’d have done if she’d lost Chloe.

The hug went on for a while, until Chloe was the first to move away. She looked better, more herself, and Beca knew it was time to go. The man had to come out of the bar eventually.

“Come on,” she said gently, pulling on Chloe’s hand and lacing their fingers together. Chloe smiled down happily at their entwined hands, making butterflies burst in Beca’s stomach. They walked like that all the way to their apartment, Beca making sure Chloe didn’t trip over anything on the way.

Chloe handled the stairs surprisingly well, only stumbling once. Beca’s tailbone ached at the memory of her own tumble, but she didn’t care. All that mattered was that she’d gotten to Chloe.

The door flew open the instant they reached the landing, Amy’s wide eyes greeting them.

“Thank God!” she exclaimed. “I was worried! And I’ve already opened the door like that for two other people, because I thought they were you coming up the steps. Aca-awkward.”

Chloe laughed weakly and Beca’s heart relaxed at the sound. She was going to be okay.  

Moving into the apartment and locking the door behind them, Beca explained, “Yeah, there was a little emergency. We’re okay now, though.”

“Mmm, Beca punched a creeper,” Chloe slurred, still far from sober but looking better with every passing minute.

Amy raised her eyebrows and nodded once. “Good on you, I hate a dumb creeper.”

“They’re the worst!” Chloe exclaimed, throwing her hands into the air in exasperation. “But Beca saved me. I love Beca,” she sighed, making Beca’s stomach somersault.

Amy looked at Beca delightedly and opened her mouth, clearly about to make a comment.

“Don’t,” Beca cut her off. “She’s drunk.”

“Oookayyy,” Amy drew out, wiggling her eyebrows excessively.

Beca rolled her eyes and nudged Chloe to the kitchen. “Water, bathroom, then to bed with you, drunko,” she instructed, giving Chloe a little push toward the fridge.

“Okay, okay,” Chloe huffed, blinking a lot. “You know, Beca, if you’d just come out with me in the first place, this wouldn’t have happened.”

Beca winced at the truth in the statement, internally vowing to never let it happen again. Then, she frowned.

“Wait, was this just a ploy to get me to go to bars with you in the future?”

Chloe only giggled as she attempted to pour water into a glass, nearly spilling it everywhere. Beca immediately moved to help her, taking the pitcher from her hands. From behind, she heard Amy make a whip cracking noise and rolled her eyes.

Chloe drank deeply from her water, finishing it before she set it down with a wink at Beca.

“I’m gonna shower, you wanna join?” she asked, swaying slightly.

Ignoring the heat that rose to her face, Beca firmly said, “No, and you are not going to shower. You’d slip and fall and die. You’re going to brush your teeth then go to bed, yeah?”

Chloe jutted out her lower lip into a pout but nodded and made her way to the bathroom, drawing the shower curtain closed behind her.

Beca plopped down at the kitchen table with a groan and covered her eyes. It had been a long night. She heard Amy walk to the fridge and open the freezer, rummaging around before closing it. A chair was pulled out from beside Beca, and she looked up to see Amy settle down in it, offering her a bag of frozen peas wrapped in a towel.

“For your hand,” Amy said in response to Beca’s questioning look. “If I know you, it was a left hook to that asshole’s face.”

Beca took the peas with a tight smile and pressed it against her hand, soothing the ache instantly.

“And if I know Chloe, I’ll bet that tonight was a lot scarier than she’s making it out to be,” Amy continued quietly, unusually serious.

Beca nodded and sighed. “Yeah, I was freaking out. It was bad. He kept touching her and he’d taken her phone.”

Amy frowned at that, tapping her fingers on the table. “I’m surprised she didn’t punch him herself. She must have been completely smashed.”

Beca’s lips tightened, her voice strained as she replied, “She was. If I hadn’t gone over…” she couldn’t bring herself to finish the sentence. Nausea rolled her stomach and she had to close her eyes until it passed.

“Hey,” Amy’s hand on her arm brought her back to the present and she reopened her eyes. “Don’t think about that. You went, you saw, you punched, and now you’re both safe. That’s what matters.”

With a deep breath, Beca nodded. Amy was right. They were okay.

“So…” Amy added after a moment in an even quieter tone, not looking at Beca. “When are you going to tell her?”

Beca blanched, guessing what Amy meant but not wanting to address it. “Tell her what?”

Amy merely smiled and said, “You know what.”

Beca stared at her, trying to keep her expression neutral. She knew by the widening of Amy’s smile that her poker face was failing. Thankfully, she was saved from responding further by Chloe’s emergence from the bathroom.

“All ready for bed!” Chloe said excitedly, moving toward the fold out. Beca jumped up from the table like she’d been electrocuted, dropping the peas and launching herself into the bathroom to complete her own nightly routine. She couldn’t handle any more serious talks with Amy.

By the time she’d finished, Amy was in her own bed, already asleep, and Chloe was curled up in their shared bed. Beca’s bedside lamp had been left on for her. Tenderness erupting in her chest at the sight, Beca quickly changed into her oversized sleep shirt and a pair of shorts and slipped under the covers next to her best friend, flicking off the light and plunging them into darkness.

As soon as she was settled, Chloe wiggled backward against her until Beca turned to hold her from behind, her arm drawing Chloe into her protectively.

“’Night, Bec,” Chloe mumbled sleepily.

“’Night, Chlo,” she replied softly, resisting the urge to press a kiss to Chloe’s shoulder.

Chloe was asleep within seconds, her breathing steady and even. Beca lay in the darkness, her eyes open and her mind racing. She’d been absolutely terrified earlier, afraid she was going to lose Chloe. She couldn’t get the image of the man’s hand on Chloe’s back out of her mind. Beca’s heart clenched; she knew Amy was right. She was in love with Chloe.

She’d have to tell her soon.

Beca’s heart pounded with nerves and her mind whirled.

She wouldn’t be sleeping much overnight.

[unholyhelbig]

Prompt- Beca is a human trying to finish college and hopefully move to LA with her friend Stacie. Chloe is a demon looking for some fun and ends up being smitten with the DJ.

[A/N: Alright… I may have gone too far with this one. But I was feeling it, and might continue feeling it for a mini-series.] 

She tilted her head back, letting the hot alcohol dribble past her lips. It wasn’t painful, not anymore. She could actually enjoy the taste- even if it made her throat tingle. The drink had a way of warming her, making her feel human in a routine that could be described as nothing more but mundane.

Chloe Beale had fallen into mankind perfectly; it was fun, at first, studying the way humans interacted with each other. How they melded into their own vices. Each human had a motive, she figured earlier on, some were better than others, but the driving focus was common; satisfaction.

In 1864 she had learned that people have differences. They fight when things get bad, and when freedoms are quelled. She also learned that it was easy for humans to turn on one another in a quick second. The difference between grey and blue still ringing thick in her ears to this very day.

In the early 1920’s she discovered that indulgence was a thing. That people would die for simple habits and drown their sorrows in extravagant parties and plastic little cards… the years after the 20’s, she recalled, were a simple and cold truth that left her desolate and lonely.  

During the 70’s Chloe figured that love was a thing human’s strive for. They would pull each other closer in the cold of Kansas City nights like the rancid scent of construction and garbage wasn’t clinging to their clothes. She watched from a distance as a man pulled his own coat away from his heavy frame before draping it over a woman who already carried her own fabric close.

It wasn’t until the late 90’s when she knew affection could be something more than just a simple touch here and there. That connection had something to do with wanting to stay tangled up in the silk sheets after a quick moment of pleasure. That it was not only okay but normal, to pull her partner closer after a hapless night of drinking.

Chloe also experienced an undeniable pain two years later- something she didn’t take lightly. It was nothing akin to hell, it was past the fire that she was forged from and the lessons that she had learned before. Something that licked at her hand with blue and cruel flames as her chest ached with a crazy edge of pain.

She missed her.

The bed was empty for a while, and so were the glass bottles that lined the shelves of her studio apartment somewhere in the Mid-West. She contemplated writing everything out in her dark kitchen. She would roll up the paper and slip it into one of the empty containers of old crow before throwing it into rolling waves that crashed into the sand. But she didn’t live near the ocean, so she scrapped that idea.

Today, Chloe knew she hadn’t only fallen into Mankind, she had stumbled into it full force.

The music from the club was pounding against the inside of her brain and beating close to her eardrums like every single inch of her was alive with the sound. She couldn’t even tell what song this was, or if it had even started out as something that carried a tune; not it morphed into a mess of pumps timed out to the strobe lights that hung from the ceiling.

She was more attune to lonely bars stranded high in the mountains. Ones that had a small glowing jukebox in the corner. The red and blue lights morphed into a pale violet against the peanut-shell-coated floor. It made drinking a hell of a lot easier when she could actually hear the sound of drowning out her thoughts.

Chloe supposed that this place was okay too.

It was in the depths of New Orleans. The French Quarter was wreaking with different forms of sage, and middle-aged tour guides shoving uncomfortable contacts into their eyes to give them a red sort of tint. Demons. She scoffed to herself each time she saw one of them- no class, but then again, here she was.

Chloe wiped her thumb against the corner of her lip, catching any drops that had found a way from her grasp. She didn’t find any, but it was a terrible habit. One that carried her into the night.

Spring Break was an easy time for her to fold into the madness.

It was almost as if she didn’t have to insight the chaos. It always started on its own. Her job as a harbinger of evil had decreased greatly as the world aged. Human’s found their own way to muck things up, to find accuse in every statement and draw their own attention to the fractures in society.

Tonight, she kept her eyes on the DJ stand. Not so much the man that held an obnoxiously large pair of headphones to the side of his head as he made sense of the jumbled beats. But the woman who looked on with disdain next to her.

She followed the dusky sightline that was interrupted with a few huffs here and there; a young thing that had deep chestnut hair falling over her slumped shoulders. She was dressed in black, almost blending into the night if it weren’t for the lit up white counter that shaded her sharp features like a full moon on a smog coated night.

The girl was tapping her fingers on the edge of her empty glass in annoyance. She almost canceled out the rest of her surroundings, Chloe tracing her own features without the woman looking up. She carried the same energy that Chloe tried to desperately to leave in the early 2000’s.

“Please tell me you didn’t drag yourself to a club to glare at an ex-boyfriend?” She said.

“Huh?” The woman snapped her eyes to Chloe’s. Blue matching even bluer. “Oh, no- I”

She contemplated explaining herself, her bottom lip snagged against her teeth. She raked her eyes up Chloe’s frame, the tight-fitting jeans and equally as snug white t-shirt that clung to the woman. It was simple, a leathered jacket rolled up at the sleeves to protect from the cold air meant to balance the heat of a dance floor.

“I would never date someone who mixes music like this” She concluded, waving her hand in the air “I don’t care that we’re in New Orleans. This much trumpet is a crime.”

Chloe scoffed, barely heard over the music as she lifted her empty glass and clinked it with the stranger. She was careful not to let her hand brush against exposed skin. It wasn’t dangerous, not in the sense that this woman would fall to her demise as twelve years bad luck plagued her every waking moment.

The woman offered up a snide smile, dipping her chin slightly. “You don’t look like you’re having much fun.”

“Oh, me?” She raised her brow “This is three drink, Chloe. You have to stick around until I hit the five-drink mark. That girl is a boatload of fun.”

“Is she now?” The stranger called over the blasting music. She almost cringed as her words ripped at her throat. “Well, does three drink Chloe know somewhere quieter to get a buzz?”

In fact, she did. She knew the city like the back of her hand. It had grown immensely in the time she had been planted on this earth. The brick buildings reached to the starry skies as twinkling lights stretched across alleyways. It gave New Orleans the distinct advantage of being stuck so solemnly in time. Aging in its own sense when it came to the nightclub scene, but still carrying the legend and charm.

She lifted her chin and made the move to stand up. This woman followed almost too willingly. She had been nursing her own drink, that much clear by the way her attention focused so fully on the sound instead of the prowess of getting wasted.

There was an immediate heir of calm the second they walked from the club. A line still wrapped around the brick edge, and a bouncer eyed them silently- but it was nothing Chloe hadn’t grown used to. Her ears were ringing, and her breath was prominent in the night air.

A brass trumpet plugged with a silencer echoed its own rendition of jazz. The sound bounced off the bricks as Chloe let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding onto. She could see the girl more clearly, memorize her facial features and take in the pure beauty of her when not under the harsh lights of the club.

“God, talk about a way to get a headache.” She brought her fingers delicately up to her temple, her voice softer now. “This is a lot better-I” Again, she stilled, flicking her eyes up. “I’m sorry.”

She knit her eyebrows together, lilting her head to the side as she closed her eyes. Chloe watched. It wasn’t like she was enjoying the silence. Instead, she was placing something, something over the dull buzz of excited teenagers ready to produce their fake ID to a man that had a neck tattoo.

“It’s Blue in Green,” Chloe finally said, a bit of a smile pulling at her lips.

“Miles Davis,” She got an excited look in her eyes as she rocked back and forth on her heels. The song had escaped her, the trumpet calling her name, it’s brass interworking nothing to overlook. The stranger swallowed thickly “That was rude of me, I just… I knew there was a reason I liked New Orleans.”

“You have an ear for music.” She said.

“If you could dare call it that.” The woman glowered, breathing in as the street performer drew out his notes. “Want to get a closer look?”

Chloe nodded, short and sweet. She would love nothing more, finding herself once again listening to the sounds of her footfalls against the near-empty streets of a city paused. Mankind was quiet tonight- quiet and loud all at once.    

[rookisaknight]

Deputy

Might as well introduce her before I ramble about my good ending aus and self-indulgent shit

This is a questionnaire whipped up by @dutchisland

The Basics

1. Give their full name, and describe them or post a picture! (Height, build, hair, eye, and skin color, etc.)

Molly Sofia Kriz. A lanky brunette, around 5′8″. Skin is covered with freckles, acne scars, and is usually sunburned. Big black eyes. Her father was Czech and her mother was Latinx. Her hair was fairly long before the helicopter crash, after which she chopped it off to just under her chin to get rid of the burnt edges. She rarely has time for a haircut and usually just chops it off with whatever’s readily available. On the rare occasions that she has down time Kim will usually menace her into sitting still long enough to give it a proper trim. Big forehead. Small hands

2. How old are they?

26

3. Sexuality and gender?

Pansexual, she/her.

Pre-Game

1. How did they end up at the Hope County Sheriff’s Department? How long have they worked there?

She’s not a Hope County native but he knew when she graduated from Police Academy that she had no interest in being a big city cop, and angled for a small town assignment. She lucked out with Hope County. Or at least, so she thought. If we was hoping for things to be less complicated out here....In any case, she’d been working there for just under a year before the raid on Eden’s Gate

2. Relationship with Pratt, Hudson, and Whitehorse?

Pratt: Staci was delighted to no longer be the lowest rung on the totem pole and enjoyed giving her as much hell as Hudson gave him when he was the Rook. Based on what little we see of him before Jacob gets a hold of him I’ve always imagined Pratt as just a bit of a prankster. To this day Molly doesn’t drink coffee or sit in a chair at the station without thoroughly examingin both for traps. Still, they have a certain rapport and had each other’s backs. Some possible romantic tension that might have gone somewhere, in a better world.

Hudson: they weren’t exactly having sleepovers and braiding each other’s hair, but they wre close enough to grab coffee a few times when they weren’t at work. Hudson isn’t known for being friendly but she was a little relieved to have another woman in the department. Joey took a few hits for Molly when she thought Pratt or the Sheriff were making life too hard for her, and in return Molly did her best to learn the lessons Joey taught her. A bit of an older sister relationship. 

Whitehorse: He’s not a man to get chummy with his deputies but their relationship was amicable enough. Whitehorse has been in the game for a long time, and once she became aware of how bad things really were in Hope County she was a little in awe of him. He has a lot more respect for her than she thinks, but he rarely expresses it. Whitehorse thought she had potential, just no real call to action yet. 

3. Do they have an education?

An unremarkable academic career in high school, a couple of years at a community college, and Police Academy. Not much of a scholar, although she does like to read. Or did. At this point she doubts she could relax enough to sit down with a novel. 

4. Where are they from? Did they speak a different language there?

Eastern Washington. No, but she did pick up some Spanish from her mom.

5. Is there anyone outside the valley that might have come looking for them?

If she had kept her parents in the loop they might have come looking, but she’d never wanted them to worry.

6. Did they have a religious background of any kind?

Her parents wee Catholic enough to drag her to Mass every Sunday in childhood but not enough to kick up that much of a fuss when she slowly stopped going at 16. She knows enough to pass and would comfortably say that she believes in a God, but even before her time in Montana she was suspicious of organized religion. 

Inside Hope County

1. What was going through their head when the helicopter went down and during the subsequent chase?

She was running on raw adrenaline the whole time and there wasn’t much room for coherent thought beyond “please don’t let me die” . The guilt came later

2. Were they afraid of Joseph and Eden’s Gate? Angry?

She was terrified by Eden’s Gate pre-game, but lately that’s shifted into just a reisgned anger. She can’t hate most of them, they’re simply too sad. Instead she’s just generally frustrated. And tired. So soooo tired.

3. Did they trust Dutch?

Not at first, but once the words “mostly it means we’re all fucked” left his mouth she kinda figured this was either a really elaborate roleplay or a guy she could trust. She bet on the latter. 

4. How did they feel about their team being taken by the cult, did they count them as lost, did they want them back, did they not care?

Her team was the main reason she bothered to stick around instead of high-tailing out and hoping the National Guard could take care of it. Molly’s a good cop but she’s no hero. She didn’t have any high-minded ideas of resistance or revenge when she started out, she just wanted to find her team before it was too late. By the time she’d rescued all of them, though, she found she had other people to care for. 

5. How did they take to the idea of being part of, if not leading, the resistance?

Pre-game she thought of the resistance as four or five gun-crazed survivalists who though dumping more bullets into the situation would somehow make it better. After she found herself on the outside of police protection, though, she gained a newfound repect for what they do. She condiers herself a solo act (more for convenince than for ideology), but she has a lot of loyalty to many many members of the resistance, and yes Virgil, she’ll wear the stupid button. 

6. Which companions did they recruit, and who did they travel with the most?

Jess and Sharky are her usual partners in crime for general mayhem. When she’s inhHolland Valley and knows she won’t be pulling him far from his family she’ll call in Nick for air support (usually getting dinner at the Rye hous after). She adopted Boomer and loves him to death but is far too anxious to take him into battle, so he stays at the abndoned farmhouse she’s been camping out in. When Sharky’s laid up she calls Hurk, but that doesn’t usually go well. 

7. Did they have time to find romance amidst the chaos? How did they do it?

Romance is a strong word. She ends up with a truly hopeless crush on Nick Rye. Not that she’d ever act on it. She loves Kim to death and honestly thinks they make a great couple. But she’d be lying if she said there weren’t a couple late nights in the Rye household where she looked over at Nick and thought “what if?” Still, she keeps it to herself and is pretty sure he doesn’t have a clue. 

8. Feelings about Joseph?

Mostly fear. After that, probably anger. But.she understands the draw. The man has undeniable charisma. In her encounters with him it has honestly been a struggle not to find herself swallowed by those hypnotic voice and that voice. Sometimes, when no one’s around and she’s taking a day in her house...she turns the radio to the Project’s station and just listens to his sermons. Wondering how someone so monstrous and so unhinged could make it sound so wise. 

9. Feelings about the other Seeds?

John: Hates his guts, but honestly he makes a good arch-nemsis. She loves doing things just to stick it to him. Right up until he started taking it out on Hudson.

Faith: she’s felt odd moments of pity for her, but mostly she’s just unnerved by her. Something about that flower child appearance mixed with the cold-blooded calculation that makes her feel very off-balance.

Jacob: despite all he did to Pratt, she has a hard time hating him. Jacob is what he is. She can understand every step that was taken to make him end up like this and on weird level she respects him. Part of this is teh process of conditioning, which requred them to spend a long time in close quarters while he tried to get in her head and turn it inside out. She doesn’t pity him, but she feels sympathy. Which doesn’’t mean she would hesitate to put a bullet through his brain. The best they could do for each other is the decency of a quick death. As befitted a fellow soldier. 

10. How did they handle having to kill animals and other humans? Had they done it before?

Animals were fine, she used to hunt with her mom. People....well, eventually you get used to it.

11. Which canon ending did they choose in-game, and would you have changed the ending at all?

Resist. Absolutely not

Personal

1. Favorite weapon(s)?

She’s a simple gal with a sawed off shotgun and pistol. That’s all you need.

2. Stealth or firepower?

She’ll usually send in Sharky as the literal firepower while she and Jess pick off cultists drawn to his display. 

3. How did they spend their time, when not fighting peggies?

She spends a lot of time at the Spread Eagle or hanging out with Jess and Sharky in her house, blasting music and playing cards. She loves when she has time for dinner with the Ryes, and sometimes she’ll go fishing with Jerome. 

4. Where did they live during the events of the game?

A small, abandoned farmhouse nestled in a copse of woods between Holland Valley and the Whitetail Mountains. 

5. Any other facts you want to share about your Deputy!

She swears up and down she saw Bigfoot in her front yard, but no one belives her. 

[letterstochristopher]

Letters to Chris. April 23rd. Day 15.

Hey Buddy,

I’m actually feeling as close to “content” as I possibly can right now. I’m wearing your Army PT shirt, your Breckenridge sweatshirt and your plaid pajama pants. Covered with your firefighter blanket. I’m actually pretty hot but I refuse to shed any layers. This hot laptop doesn’t help. I just went through all of my old Facebook photos and tagged you, Mom, Dad and Nikea in all of them. Pictures of you dressed up for Prom, for Winter Sports, pics of us at McDonalds for Austen’s birthday, wresting at the Rocheport Winery, feeding fish at Tan Tar A…And I didn’t cry. That’s progress. I think it’s still hard to reconcile the boy with the long hair and goofy grin as being gone. When I look at your photos, it doesn’t seem real. That young boy I knew would never do something to hurt himself. 

Denial phase again?

Yesterday was a super long day. Dad and I drove to Sedalia to drop off meds for Grandpa and see the family. Sue, Hannah, Holten, Sayre, Connor, David and Stacy were all there. I couldn’t be there during Christmas (rescheduled due to an ice storm so Sedalia Christmas happened after I returned to Colorado), so it was wonderful to see everyone. Connor is adorable. He’s so tiny! I always forget how little they are when they are brand new. New mama Sayre is beautiful and exhausted. Sue is in grandma Heaven. Holten is getting so big! Hannah is doing well and decided she can’t stand her dog (we all got a big laugh out of this). David and Stacy just got back from visiting Derek, and are planning another trip out soon. Of course Grandma and Grandpa are doing well. Poor Grandma was fussing because I couldn’t eat anything since I’m allergic to gluten. That’s right, Chris. There was hole-in-the-bread and freaking Mississippi mud and it took every fiber of my being not to face plant in both. Everyone misses you. Hannah started to cry, saying she had no idea how sad you were. I assured her that it wasn’t just her-none of us did. 

Then Dad and I picked up Mom and headed to Mexico to see Bethany. She still didn’t know. So Mom brought plastic Easter eggs to fill with candy and I brought pics I took of Connor to help distract her after we told her. Even though Bethany is mentally handicapped, she knows what death is. The second Mom signed “CJ died” she began to wail. It was awful. We just held her as her heart broke. Then she asked if you died from a gunshot to the head. We just looked at each other. How did she know? But we said, “No, CJ had cancer.” She’d ask again a little later, and we would just repeat the answer we gave her before. Then she left it. Thank goodness. They watch a lot of TV there, so we believe she has seen things like that on shows. Who knows. We took her out to Taco Bell for dinner, and she did okay for a while after. We filled eggs with candy, and then in the middle of handing them out to her roommates, she began to wail again. She kept signing “my brother died.” I was so angry with you. I knew you would never want to hurt any of us, especially Bethany. But here she was, sobbing for her big brother. And we couldn’t take away her pain. You know Bethany is the sweetest, most loving little person. It makes my heart ache just thinking about it. I didn’t want to leave her. I don’t see her nearly enough. I’ve decided to be better about Face Timing her and sending her cards and little gifts. You’ve taught me to not take her for granted.

This evening, I went through all of your things. This was my Goliath. I didn't know if I’d be able to handle it. Every time I’d go downstairs I’d have to stop at all your boxes and bury my face in your clothes and break down. Yet I knew it would be too much for Mom right now, and I needed to touch all of your things. I only cried like four times. That's good, I guess. I started with all your clothes, folding and separating. Any I found that smelled like you I set aside. I’ve been reduced to a person who seeks out her brother’s sweaty shirts. Maybe that’s gross. I’m sure you’d make fun of me. But that sweat is from a body that I washed and diapered, wrestled, hugged, probably pushed in anger a time or two when we were little. A body that no longer exists. So any time I’d find one that smelled of you, I’d stop and bury my nose in it. I separated your clothes into several containers: one for shirts, one for pants and shorts, and one for all military and firefighting clothing. You had some dirty laundry as well, mostly just underwear, socks and towels. I pointed those out to Mom when she came down to check on me, and she started crying. It’s so hard for her to be around your things right now. But she doesn’t want to part with any. She warned me tonight that she doesn’t want me to take back many things to Colorado. Not yet. I can have them, but she needs time before she can let them go. That was hard to hear. I’m going back to an apartment that holds no memories with you, whereas you’re everywhere here. And all of your belongings are downstairs. But I know she has the right to grieve over her son in the way she needs to, and if that means holding onto your things for a while, I have to respect that. 

I also went through all your books, and set aside the ones that looked like they had sentimental value. A couple firefighting books (one of which had your Citizen of the Month certificate from middle school in it. I was at that ceremony…so crazy. It seems like yesterday). Your books from AIT. Yearbooks. I had to laugh at one yearbook-I’m guessing you had an arch nemesis because you had crossed out one girl's name and wrote “ugly” in its place. I’ve decided middle schoolers are odd little people. On the inside cover, where your friends signed their names, one girl wrote how she wanted to be friends all year but didn’t think you did but oh wow you actually did want to be friends. Dad and I got big kick out of that. I also found your Harry Potter books. I am going to take those if Mom will let me. I have my own set but I’ll just replace it with yours, which obviously has way more sentimental value. These are the actual books Dad read to you. And then I found your old Legends of Sleepy Hollow I remember reading right here on this couch. 

I looked through your cards you kept. I found a couple I had sent you…one for graduation, one for your 11th birthday. I called you “buddy” in both. I’m trying to remember when I started calling you that…I have no idea. I’m honestly amazed I got you cards…I’m the world’s worst card-giver. I keep every card given to me ever, but I absolutely SUCK at getting them for others. Hypocrite? Maybe. But I was excited to see you’d kept those, along with a couple drawings I did for you of Garfield the cat sleeping (no idea why I drew this??) and a dog. You had kept a ton of cards from our real mom, so I set those aside for her. I figure she’ll want them. You also had a ton of thank you notes from your old teacher, Mrs. Dahms. I believe she was second grade. Nikea had her as a teacher as well, and apparently she’s awesome because who keeps notes from their second grade teacher?

Then I went through your knickknacks, mostly your real dad’s things. Military medals, the old black and white pics from Korea I mentioned before. And then rocks. Rocks. Rocks and more rocks. Beautiful rocks, though. Ones even I can appreciate. Geods and minerals I’m sure Dad gave you. Fossils. This cool quartz ball thing. I imagined them all displayed on your bookshelf among with your dozens of books. It reminded me of when you were little, and you would collect all these things in your pockets Mom would have to pull out before she washed your clothes. Rocks, sticks…I’ll have to ask Mom what else she’d discover. But she always found that so funny. She’d put them in a baggy and mail them to Mom Heidi. 

Then your jackets. My word, you had so many jackets. I have decided you were a collector of all things camo (shirts, sheets, pants, jackets), rocks and jackets. Oh and cowboy boots. You had three pairs. That’s a lot of cowboy boots! 

All your military and firefighting stuff was the hardest to go through. I know how much you loved both. Ever since you were little, it was your dream to be a firefighter and soldier like your real dad. I’m so grateful you got to experience both. How many people can say they accomplished dreams they had as a child? I believe it’s really rare, Chris. We are so proud of you.

By the way, I talked to my boss and am officially back to work next Monday. They’ve been unbelievably patient. The last six months have literally been the worst of my life, what with trying to find job, living in a basement, my health issues, Clay’s torn meniscus and surgery…and now this. I feel so discouraged. I’m definitely hoping life doesn’t keep throwing curve balls, because I’m exhausted. I had really thought things were getting better. We found jobs. I found a doctor I really like that seems to have answers. We moved out of the basement to a cute apartment. Then that phone call from Mom. I’m so tired, Chris. I feel like I’ve been fighting nonstop, and I’m ready for a break. I guess another way to look at it is I can overcome anything. Nothing will come close to this. This is the worst thing that could happen. My worst fear realized..losing a loved one. A sibling. Life has to be uphill from here, right? Unless someone else I love dies. I'm so terrified that will happen now. But I know you’ll give me strength. You’re giving all of us strength. Thank you. Because I feel so weak right now. 

I’ve been thinking of the things I’ve learned the past two weeks. Grief really makes you hyper aware of your life and the people in it. For one,  we have so many incredible people in our family. I’ve always loved and appreciated them, but now I have absolutely no idea how I could ever get on without them. They have been so wonderfully supportive. Which brings me to my second realization: some people you fully expect to be there for you refuse to alter their lives to accommodate you while you’re grieving. Sometimes you want to spend time with someone who just has too busy of a schedule for you. This was a hard one to realize. On a more positive note is my third realization: we are so much stronger than we give ourselves credit for. Humans are incredibly resilient, even those of us who fold to depression. Like I’ve told you, you were one of the strongest people I knew. You lived so long with your heartache, longer than I could have. It’s a broken world, and sometimes we have to live through our nightmares. But if we keep fighting, we can come out the other side. That’s realization 4: we have to go through the emotions. One of my first thoughts when Mom called me was, “I don’t want to go through this. I don’t want to feel what I’m feeling.” Because grief is awful. Loss is the worst possible thing we can go through. But we have to go through it. We have to cry, to mourn. We have to feel anger, despair, depression, fear, doubt, loneliness, hopelessness, before we can heal. I will always carry this scar. A huge part of me died with you. I’ll never be the same. None of us will. But by allowing ourselves to grieve and feel all the awful emotions that come with it, we will come out the other side. I feel like I’m in this awful dark tunnel with no light anywhere right now. I know that’s how you felt, as well. But, realization number 5 is that we have no idea how many people care for us. I guarantee you didn’t. Our deaths affect far more people than we expect. I’m sure you didn’t know how may people would be missing you, sobbing for your broken heart, posting on your Facebook wall, sending cards (we’ve received dozens). When we go through all the crap that life hurls at us, we need to lean on those who love us. They are what get us through. Six: grief does weird things to your body. I’m so tired 90 percent of the time, I’m breaking out like a teenager, my skin is rough and dry, I’ve lost eyelashes (probably from crying). I want to eat all the sugar (amazingly I’ve only caved once, and that was for my favorite candies, Percy Pigs, that Courtney had left over from our London trip a year ago). It’s a bit funny. It’s like your body is saying, “Hey, you’re devastated. Have some pimples!”

F*ck you, cortisol.

Realization number 6: take depression seriously. It’s a dangerous illness that can overtake anyone. We knew you struggled and we tried to help you in every way we could, but ultimately we couldn’t save you. I knew better than anyone what you were going through, but I didn’t know you had suicidal thoughts. Like I’ve said before, maybe I should have. No…I should have. You were my brother. I knew you your entire life. I should have acknowledged the possibility. I know guilt is normal in this situation, and everyone who goes through our situation struggles with it. But lesson learned. 

F*ck you, depression.

Next, do not take people for granted. Just don’t. We get so caught up in our own lives that we forget to take a few precious moments out of our day to make a call, or even send a text, to say “I love you.” It just doesn’t take any time. We get comfortable and forget that life’s a bitch, and people die when we least expect them to. I was thinking about the last time I heard your voice today. Oddly, it was when I was cutting fat off a pork shoulder. My mind never stops. But it was Christmas. You called us, and Mom put you on speaker. I was so disappointed you couldn’t come home. We chatted for at least 20 minutes. That was the last time we talked. I still can’t believe I let that long go by since we chatted…that was when life started to get super tough for us (we had recently moved into our friend’s basement), and I became somewhat of a recluse. But that’s no excuse. I should have called you. Now I’ve been telling everyone I love them. But I should have told you every day.

My biggest realization? That you still feel close. Sometimes so close I feel I can reach out and touch you. I know you’re here. I have no doubt. Earlier this evening, I laid my head on your dress uniform that you wore to my wedding (I even flung one of the arms around me like you were hugging me. Another thing about grief-it makes you do weird things like smell your brother’s BO on his tshirts and make his uniforms hug you), and your presence was so strong. Knowing you’re still here with us is so comforting. Thank you, Chris. Keep it up, because the next couple years are going to be tough. I know one day it won’t hurt to breathe, but that day is a long way down the road. So stay close, Buddy.

Well it’s 3 am so I’m going to try to get some sleep. I love you, Buddy.

[thirdman-seventhson-blog1]

Vault Chat

Keep in mind, jack was probably on for about 10 minutes, and there were 200 people on the chat!! Here’s the part of the vault chat that I got.

<Apple_Blossom> check out the paintings of RomIne Brooks... she was friends with Rimbaud@Jack White

·       <Hunter Arias> Thanks for the input!

·       <Jack White> @Rodney Flater hmmmmm......

·       <DonTazeMeBro> @Jack White I have been heavy into Sturgill Simpson, you like him?

·       <MaWaiDu> @Jack What was the last project you weren't sure if you could actually finish?

·       <Christina Kinzler> @KRIST3N Sucks

·       <DanielleMeiling> @Jack White Hi Jack. Any news on when American Epic is getting released?

·       <gabbyalucas> Favorite album at the moment?

·       <RRRecords> @Jack White What is your favorite baseball movie? Mine is The Natural.

·       <Jack White> @MaWaiDu life

·       <Jack White> lot of peoples in here

·       <Nick(Boat)> @Jack White What's your thoughts on United on Chestnut?

·       <MaWaiDu> lol

·       <Trale Merz> Favorite 3 ball parks

·       <Maxman142001> Hints for the next vault?

·       <msmaggie> see you at Zolli for coffee? 10 minutes?

·       <Dina Grace Zoe Sciortino> Lol

·       <Apple_Blossom> @Jack White are the new presses up and running at Cass???

·       <Christina Kinzler> @Jack White Too many ppls boo

·       <Marjorie Hernandez> @Jack White might be worth the investment 😉

·       <Jack White> @RRRecords i like the natural very much, quote me a line from it

·       <bloomooks> We missed you, Jack. That's why

·       <Dina Grace Zoe Sciortino> righhhtttttt

·       <RobScarr> @Jack White enjoyed reading your words in 'the drum thing' book very inspiring as a drummer myself

·       <Bill Vouronikos> what r the chances of another raconteurs album?

·       <Morgan McPheeters> @Jack White Did you have fun in Deep Ellum with WarStick? It's the coolest neighborhood in Dallas.

·       <Billy Daneau> for how long you haven't talked to meg

·       <Mat Kancler> @Jack White looking for interns? I'm your guy!

·       <Kerri Grendel> Jack, you are loved.

·       <RACHELSWENS> Bout time you came on here, i didnt think anyone actually used it

·       <Christopher Merritt> @Jack White - have you heard the new Washington Phillips cd?

·       <Janet Hall> @JackWhite I ordered your guitar pics, can't wait to get them!

·       <Kelly McCleary> @Jack White we're all jonesing for news

·       <Drebin> Thank you for everything Jack. Can't wait to see your next project!

·       <Pabs> Any plans to tour last Dead Weather's album?

·       <Rob Frost> too many peoples. i go sleep now

·       <Francscoxvier> Greetings from Saskatoon

·       <gabbyalucas> So so so stoked about the new Lillie album. Huge fan of her stuff. Can't wait another second!

·       <Apple_Blossom> ha

·       <Abbie Stein> @Jack White have you listened to Cindy Wilson's new EP yet?

·       <gabbyalucas> So many people, slightly breaking the chat haha

·       <Maxman142001> @jack have you picked up any new guitars lately?

·       <Kate Cox> Favourite Nick Cave track?

·       <Mandy Thomas> Loved the last Vault Package...it was my first! Came on Christmas Eve!

·       <Marjorie Hernandez> You draw quite the crowd, jack!

·       <caity> Did you guys get a lot of new subscribers for the package? I loved the vault package, the pendant is dope!!! !!! !!! !!!

·       <Breanna Gibitz> Jack. I think you're great. just wanted to say that.

·       <Christopher Merritt> This is insane btw

·       <Karen Proffitt> I think we missed you.....

·       <LordKhan> @Jack White You can't spell it, but it eats pretty good, don't it?

·       <Lindsey Crooks> It's been so long! I thought you might have died.

·       <Sarah Sparks> @Marjorie Hernandez what up lady?! Did you have a good b-day?

·       <Jack White> @Kate Cox red right hand

·       <Mallory McClain> @Jack White thoughts on any of the festival lineups that have been released? they seem a little lacking imo

·       <MaWaiDu> @Jack would you ever open up a new upholstery shop?

·       <caitinlv> @Jack White big ups to Bump Bailey

·       <Christina Kinzler> @Jack White Whats the word on the pressing plant opening?

·       <Lucas Marinho> What kind of drumsticks do you use, Jack?

·       <STL_Ben> remember 10 minutes ago when there was only 4 people logged in?

·       <gabbyalucas> I'm actually in class right now. I cant learn knowing Jack's online

·       <RACHELSWENS> See what happens when you leave us for too long

·       <Rodrigo Cortes> Live at Disgraceland was awesome

·       <jen&juice> Did you have a nice Christmas with the kiddos?

·       <KYLOSIS> Congratulations on 30 Vaults!

·       <Mommaboat> @Jack White missed you at New Years!!

·       <RRRecords> @Jack White "pick me out a winner Bobby"

·       <Mommaboat> @Jack White love me some Lillie Mae

·       <tanzaib> New raconteurs lp this year

·       <Sarah Sparks> @Jack White did you ever watch

·       <Bill Vouronikos> what r the chances of another raconteurs album?

·       <Jack White> @caitinlv you mean baortholemew bailey

·       <Vinnie Vrhovnik> Holy shit this is moving fast today

·       <Billy Daneau> why the single on the last vault package wasn't red and blue just one color

·       <RACHELSWENS> Hi Jack! What did you do for the holiday?

·       <TWS_Andre> The Raconteurs I miss them so much!!

·       <Sarah Sparks> aky Blinders"? great soundtrack (mostly because of you!)

·       <Jessica Russell> @jJck White I've missed you! Best twitter notification all day

·       <Norm bethune> @Jack White Any live shows coming up Det or Nash

·       <Christina Kinzler> @Jack White Missed you at the Magic Stick

·       <Apple_Blossom> @Jack White would you consider using the film from 2 against 1 to make an official video from the film 2 Guns??

·       <MFSSkinny> @Jack White Pick me out a winner, Bobby

·       <KYLOSIS> @Sarah Sparks Great show!

·       <Breanna Gibitz> I'm running out of wall space for all the rad stuff you guys put in packages

·       <Maxman142001> @jack white - have you given Blackwell any tips on his drumming?

·       <Bill Vouronikos> what r the chances of another raconteurs album?

·       <gabbyalucas> Hey Jack, what did you get for Christmas?

·       <Jack White> @RACHELSWENS hunted whompus kitties

·       <KRIST3N> I recently framed some of my favorite TMR silk screens. Wanda looks so purdy in her magenta mat board

·       <DonTazeMeBro> @Jack White its 8 below zero in Minnesota want to visit

·       <MaWaiDu> @Jack favorite episode of Twilight Zone?

·       <LordKhan> Red, it took me sixteen years to get here. You play me, and I'll give ya the best I got.

·       <Isfeld> @Jack White any vacation plans for the summer?

·       <Pabs> Btw congrats you guys have the best customer service!

·       <Sarah Sparks> @KYLOSIS right?!

·       <Morgan McPheeters> @Jack White Did you like our twitter submissions for the Tin Man scavenger hunt contest? That was really fun

·       <Tuesday Cummins-Smith> @Jack White did the shop girls get their top hat from The Rad Hatter?

·       <Jack White> @LordKhan suit up

·       <Dina Grace Zoe Sciortino> meow

·       <KYLOSIS> @Sarah Sparks Better soundtrack!

·       <Sarah Sparks> catty wampus!

·       <Apple_Blossom> @Jack White is it a blizzard in Nashville now??

·       <Abbie Stein> @Jack White I thought you would like this...I found a 1956 Ford Thunderbird Christmas post card flexi disc at an antique store recently!

·       <Christina Kinzler> @Jack White What is the word on the Diecast RRS? Is that going to happen?

·       <Janet Hall> @JackWhite Tour some more please!

·       <MFSSkinny>

·       <RACHELSWENS> You hunted whompus kitties over the holiday?

·       <Jason Koffman> How about releasing a Slim & Slam LP?

·       <Breanna Gibitz> JACK, will you fund a replica TMR store I can live in? I love the style of it there

·       <caitinlv> @Jack White when a guy runs into the wall like that he should be called Bump

·       <AlleyOops> When are you coming back to Austin? :D

·       <chuck hosner> Working on a new solo album by chance?

·       <MaggieMay> Jack. Any plans to release the Masonic lazaretto show?

·       <Billy Daneau> solo album?

·       <Hannah Geere> Did you enjoy being on Prairie Home Companion enough to come back to Minneapolis again in the near future??

·       <Lucas Marinho> I don't like to be this guy, but please come to Brazil. There's so many new bands around my city. I'm surge you'd love them

·       <Cameo Kraft> Have any new years resolutions??

·       <KYLOSIS> @Jack White Are you in the touring mood this year?

·       <Apple_Blossom> @chuck hosner !!!!!

·       <Bill Vouronikos> what r the chances of another raconteurs album?

·       <Jack White> @KYLOSIS hmm...

·       <Jack White> @KYLOSIS hmm...

·       <Maxman142001> @Jack White have you been to Johnny Walkers new studio?

·       <jo7981> Would you ever come to Newfoundland again?

·       <staci freeworth> @jack I love all the cool things you are doing but I must admit, I miss some jack white music......

·       <Breanna Gibitz> I truly want my house to resemble the style of TMR in Nash

·       <Lucas Marinho> sure*

·       <Isfeld> @Jack White Gotten into any new bands lately?

·       <Dina Grace Zoe Sciortino> Stop don't even tease like that!

·       <EngineDriver> Have you seen the new Star Wars?

·       <Apple_Blossom> @Jack White are you going to play on OJs new release?

·       <DonTazeMeBro> @Jack White Fuck YES

·       <Sarah Sparks> @Jack White a soul like you can't sit still for long!

·       <Jack White> @jo7981 god i hope so, i loved newfoundland

·       <MaWaiDu> @Jack I saw Karen perform with Rufus Wainwright at the Roman for Christmas, did a great job

·       <DonTazeMeBro> i will take this as a yes

·       <Patricio Pinto Castro> @Jack White new raconteurs record soon?

·       <Mandy Thomas> I'm with KYLOSIS....touring?? come to Texas!!

·       <MaWaiDu> Ryman*

·       <Able_And_Want> 2017 is a good year for touring

·       <KRIST3N> My New Years resolution was to go to a Jack white show...help me out!

·       <KYLOSIS> @Jack White Canada misses you!

·       <Jeff Harrow> @Jack White how's the upholstery business

·       <gabbyalucas> How do you think this year's gonna go in comparison to last, jack?

·       <jen&juice> I visited Galco's! What's your favorite soda or pop? Which is it?

·       <Michael Stevens> @Jack White will we ever get the full Worlds Fastest Record show?

·       <Kate Cox> do you have a cat?

·       <Jonathan> you should invite Ryan Adams to do something at your headquarters. He tweeted the other day that he's a big fan of you and what you're doing after teasing his fans with record booth recordings from the machine at electric ladyland

·       <Breanna Gibitz> If you do tour this year, please don't skip Cleveland, Ohio :) We miss you

·       <Mat Kancler> @Jack White Looking for interns? I'm your guy!

·       <RRRecords> @Jack White "I guess some mistakes you never stop paying for."

·       <ThirdSon> @Jack White Time for a TMR NYC, right?

·       <matthewvh> @Jack White Any idea on when Pokey's Blue Room show will be released?

·       <KRIST3N> Rochester, Buffalo...even Syracuse!

·       <RobScarr> @Jack White will there be a vault package dedicated to Icky Thump in its 10th year (this year)?

·       <Trale Merz> Top 3 MLB ballparks

·       <Roxxan> @ThirdSon Oooh. Yes. TMR NYC please!

·       <Shane Rennie> Yes!! We need a Ryan Adams live at third man!

·       <Morgan McPheeters> @Jack White Please come to Dallas if you tour again! Deep Ellum :)

·       <Nick(Boat)> @Jack White, what have you been listening to in the car lately? RTJ3?

·       <David Jamieson> going to spain for my honeymoon -- any favorite spots you can pass on?

·       <Jessica McConaughy> @ThirdSon LA first!

·       <Bill Vouronikos> what r the chances of another raconteurs album?

·       <Aidan Abbott> Jack, will you come to my high school graduation?

·       <Karen Proffitt> How about Cincy?

·       <Jack White> @RRRecords "you had an amazing gift, but it's not enough....i think you're a loser"

·       <RACHELSWENS> Yeah play in buffalo

·       <Apple_Blossom> @Jack White favorite tracks in paramount 1 and 2??? i just picked both of the up

·       <DonTazeMeBro> @Jack White tell Ben we need another contest soon, pick a number trivia anything

·       <Billy Daneau> any tour youre thinking about?

·       <Maxman142001> @jack white any pop up stores for TMR in 2017?

·       <Jeff Harrow> @Jack White how's the upholstery business

·       <Abbie Stein> @Jack White you should come hang out in Athens, Ga! SO much music history

·       <Jack White> @Aidan Abbott no

·       <Travis Krause> @jack white What was the last thing you listened to?

·       <Travis Krause> @jack white What was the last thing you listened to?

·       <Rick Kanas> Will TMR ever put out the Complete Tommy Johnson Recordings?

·       <Dina Grace Zoe Sciortino> Was so close to getting into Jimmy Fallon, walked around the city all day :) but I missed it by one person. Performance was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen

·       <caitinlv> "we have two lives, the one we learn with and the one we live after that."

·       <LordKhan> I coulda been better. I coulda broke every record in the book.

·       <RACHELSWENS> It's cold and dark you'll like it

·       <Christopher Merritt> @Jack White - how's about some more Sun Records reissues...?

·       <tanzaib> What's next to be released on tmr

·       <thirdgirlll> @Jack White do you own any pets

·       <Jettkoral> @Jack White can I have a job

·       <Aidan Abbott> Please

·       <KRIST3N> @Dina Grace Zoe Sciortino watching jimmy now

·       <Jack White> @Christopher Merritt yes!

·       <thirdgirl> @jo7981 i'm from newfoundland too! ten years since the one note show :)

·       <gabbyalucas> What did ya get for xmas, jack?

·       <MaggieMay> Love vault #30. Thank you!

·       <Brandon Attal> Tubbalicious says hello Jack & he would like his butt scratched

·       <Michelle Erb> Hows the record plant coming along?

·       <Vinnie Vrhovnik> Jack can you send the RRS to CLE to break up my boring shitty winter a bit?

·       <Apple_Blossom> @Travis Krause weve been missing you

·       <MaggieMay>

·       <EngineDriver> Thoughts on what's happened to Conan's show?

·       <Jeff Harrow> @Jack White how's the upholstery business

·       <Lucas Marinho> What is you favorite MUTANTES song, Jack?

·       <Christopher Merritt> @Jack White - more Prisonaires please!

·       <Angela Bell> Jack, what are you listening to today?

·       <Mommaboat> @Jack White. Come to Indy with Margo Price for my birthday! 💙

·       <Apple_Blossom> hahaha

·       <LazyDynamite> What does Third Man have in store for the new year

·       <Janet Hall> @Jack White HI Jack!

·       <Jack White> @gabbyalucas not much, a skeleton of a sea lion from 1918

·       <rscott11> @Jack White Are the Dough Rollers still making music?

·       <Billy Daneau> vault number 33 will be awesome

·       <MaWaiDu> @Jack have you seen the movie La La Land?

·       <Mallory McClain> @Jack White have you heard about Jessi Zazu of Those Darlins? She's a badass musician who's been diagnosed with cancer. It'd be cool if TMR would put out a record or something as a benefit.

·       <Sierra> @jack white I'm listening to your acoustic in Idaho right now. It's my favorite!

·       <MFSSkinny> @Jack White "my life didn't turn out the way i expected"

·       <Shane Rennie> How many guitars do you currently own?

·       <Breanna Gibitz> @Vinnie Vrhovnik YES PLEASE

·       <Breanna Gibitz> @Vinnie Vrhovnik YES PLEASE

·       <ThirdSon> @Jack White what color is Lillie Mae picking for her limited edition LP?

·       <Marjorie Hernandez> Jack, what things from third man can we expect this year? Or maybe just expect the unexpected?

·       <RRRecords> @Jack White "I could have been better. I could have broken ever record in the book."

·       <Apple_Blossom> @Jack White we've been missing you too

·       <Jeff Harrow> @Jack White how's the upholstery business

·       <Bill Vouronikos> what r the chances of another raconteurs album?

·       <Stoffel> how about another green series

·       <Breanna Gibitz> we need it in Clevland

·       <Jack White> @Shane Rennie 33

·       <Dina Grace Zoe Sciortino> lol damn

·       <DonTazeMeBro> @Jack White what is the best new album you heard this year

·       <Patricio Pinto Castro> @Jack White what have been you doing?

·       <LazyDynamite> I heard your an antique clock collector?

·       <LordKhan> I just quoted that!

·       <LazyDynamite>

·       <Morgan McPheeters> @Jack White I'm finally seeing Margo Price in March in Dallas-- can't wait!!

·       <KRIST3N> Jack can I apprentice at your upholstery company. Please?

·       <Abbie Stein> @Jack White did you ever meet/work with Johnny Cash before he died?

·       <Jack White> @Stoffel they dont sell well, but i dont care

·       <Jessica McConaughy> @Jack White much love! (Gotta hit the road and catch a flight) 💜 Thanks for being awesome

·       <jen&juice> Have you heard of Reignwolf? Would make a killer blue room show- lucky to have great bands to see here in Seattle

·       <Jack White> @Abbie Stein never met him, wish i had

·       <gabbyalucas> Saw Karen's Instagram post of the kids' first day of school, warmer my heart. You have a beautiful family, you should be proud :)

·       <Nick(Boat)> @Jack White, United on Chestnut ever going to press records again?

·       <MFSSkinny> @Jack White "I coulda been better. I coulda broke every record in the book"

·       <tanzaib> Has cass pressing plant started yet

·       <tgonger> For 2017 - produce or perform?

·       <Maxman142001> @jack white got any old Detroit material to release on TMR this year?

·       <Cameo Kraft> Any random thoughts for today??

·       <Ira Washburn> Jack, what sound do You prefer- Rhodes or wurlitzer?

·       <Sierra> @jack white what is your favorite song to play live?

·       <Stoffel> @Jack White

·       <rscott11> @Jack White Are the Dough Rollers still making music together?

·       <Jack White> almost bought cash's house, but didn't want to live in a museum

·       <MaggieMay> Jack, the lazaretto Masonic show was life changing. Thank you

·       <Jeff Harrow> @Jack White how's the upholstery business

·       <Breanna Gibitz> I've been reading a book about Cash. It's been great, such an interesting dude.

·       <LordKhan> @Jack White What's for dinner today?

·       <RobScarr> @Jack White you going to get the new Tesla model 3?

·       <Patricio Pinto Castro> @Jack White new raconteurs record soon?

·       <Apple_Blossom> @Jack White its also haunted

·       <Stoffel> @Jack White i love them, would love to see another one some day

·       <Jessica Russell> @Jack White any big surprises in store for us in the coming months?

·       <Abbie Stein> @Jack White the one in Hendersonville?

·       <Tracy Christian> Barry Gibb took that off of your hands.

·       <LazyDynamite> Can you play a banjo clock

·       <KYLOSIS> @Jack White The JC museum is my second favourite spot in Nashville.

·       <Jack White> @Maxman142001 so much you dont even know! lot of production from me in detoit, but i wonder if people would like a vault release of some of it or not

·       <Christina Kinzler> @Jack White Any chance of a diecast RRS??

·       <Jack White> @Abbie Stein mmm mmm

·       <Sierra> Of course!

·       <Morgan McPheeters> @Jack White Do you like Hamilton the musical? Ever thought of doing a collab w/ Lin-Manuel Miranda?

·       <EngineDriver> Jack, check out the album Piper in the Holler by Tim Cummings. He does Appalachian songs with smallpipes accompanied by banjo, guitar, etc

·       <Celina Johnson> @Jack White Do you have a house in Tulsa?

·       <Natalia Fallon> Any chance of a guest appearance at Loretta's Ryman shows?

·       <Jeff Harrow> @Jack White how's the upholstery business

·       <Breanna Gibitz> We'd pretty much like a vault release of anything. Well, me at least.

·       <jo7981> you know we would

·       <Apple_Blossom> @Jack White stooges vault possible???

·       <Abbie Stein> @Jack White that would have been pretty cool

·       <Jack White> @Morgan McPheeters i prefer the millard fillmore musical

·       <MaWaiDu> @Jack Hardest worker you've ever worked with?

·       <Ashley Lorenz> Did you do anything with John Doe when he was in Detroit?

·       <Ashlyn Scoggins> How was your New Years?

·       <gabbyalucas> What's TMR's stance on internships? I'm heading over to Nashville for college to study the music industry and interning over there would be a dream!

·       <RACHELSWENS> Can you upholster something for me

·       <Sarianna> That's an amazing Vault idea

·       <Vinnie Vrhovnik> Dude you know we'd love the Detroit stuff in a vault

·       <Keith Thraen-Borowski> Favorite record store in midwest (outside of Detroit)?

·       <Hannah Geere> @Jack White thanks so much for releasing Get Behind Me Satan on vinyl, it's always been my favorite

·       <jesssy> @Jack White so i have this old, tattered chair.......

·       <Michelle Erb> Yes we want oldies from Detroit!! At least I do

·       <Jack White> @MaWaiDu you're looking at him

·       <Peppermint7> are you going to make it back to L.A. for the Grammys?

·       <Angela Bell> Upholstered anything fancy lately? Besides famous couches...

·       <DonTazeMeBro> @Jack White I would like the Margo Price austin city limits as a vault

·       <Maxman142001> @Jack white I'd love to see a reissue of Von bondies Nite Train!

·       <Melissa Gonzalez> @JackWhite yes a vault release please ❤

·       <Isfeld> @Jack White Any TMR event in europe this year or the next?

·       <Breanna Gibitz> Do you have a favorite guitar you always go back to?

·       <Jack White> @Maxman142001 me too!

·       <Jack White> @Breanna Kibitz yes

·       <Bill Vouronikos> what r the chances of another raconteurs album?

·       <Marjorie Hernandez> @Jack White has record store day officially been moved to April 22nd this year instead of the 15th?

·       <Jeff Harrow> @Jack White how's the upholstery business

·       <KYLOSIS> @DonTazeMeBro That was a great perforamnce!

·       <Aidan Abbott> You sound just like my dad

·       <EngineDriver> Can we get a blue series of trad. Scottish and Irish tunes? You could record my seision group here in Denver!

·       <Apple_Blossom> oh well...

·       <DonTazeMeBro> I know Christie V from the Von Bondies

·       <LazyDynamite> What kind of antiques do you collect

·       <DonTazeMeBro> I used to work with her

·       <Nathan Wiseman> Jack! Thank you for the newest vault release! I absolutely love it!

·       <RRRecords> @Jack White can I pitch batting practice to you someday? It would be an honor to strike you out.

·       <jen&juice> Yes Detroit Vault!

·       <DonTazeMeBro> at the Mud Pie

·       <Robert Cowley> Any of the Glastonbury shows gonna be in the vault soon

·       <Dina Grace Zoe Sciortino> Always? What color is she?

·       <Melissa Gonzalez> @JackWhite any new year resolutions?

·       <Jack White> @DonTazeMeBro that must be after i worked with them

·       <Mallory McClain> @Jack White Do you like Gibson electrics? I know you're a fan of the vintage acoustics

·       <MaWaiDu> @Jack what are you working hard on now?

·       <Patricio Pinto Castro> @Jack White something special about the 20 years of the white stripes?

·       <Rodrigo Cortes> Who would you like to collaborate this year with?

·       <Sarah Sparks> @Jack White RTJ sold out at Marathon! You gonna be there?

·       <gabbyalucas> Trying to teach myself bass. Any tips on self-teaching?

·       <Ira Washburn> @Jack White u like David lindley?

·       <Jack White> @RRRecords you can't strike me out

·       <DonTazeMeBro> In Minneapolis

·       <Morgan McPheeters> @Jack White saw you and your elephant on American Pickers reruns. Picked up any cool treasures recently?

·       <Eileen Corsano> hi Jack Happy New Year

·       <Jack White> @gabbyalucas one string at a time

·       <Abbie Stein> @Jack White heard from Loretta lately? Her Christmas album was great

·       <Breanna Gibitz> Have you ever visited the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cle?

·       <trickster> @Jack White is Vault #31 ready to be announced?

·       <Sierra> @jack white what is your favorite thing to drink/eat?

·       <KRIST3N> Jack please come to Rochester ny. It's where Son House came to hide

·       <tanzaib> @Jack White how about the upholsterers unreleased tracks

·       <Jack White> @Breanna Kibitz nope

·       <KYLOSIS> @Jack White American Epic, what up?

·       <jacqu_marie> did Trump ask you to perform at the inauguration?

·       <Karen Proffitt> How about Breakstone concert for a vault?

·       <jesssy> @Jack White have you aquired any new instruments?

·       <RRRecords> @Jack White I hear you can't hit a curve ball...

·       <LazyDynamite> did you have say in what music went into mlb the show?

·       <vickendom> If you wanted to test a turntable, what would be the 1st vinyl you'd play?

·       <Marjorie Hernandez> How's warstic doing, jack?

·       <Jack White> @Breanna Kibitz and i've never been invited to see it

·       <Michael Stevens> @Jack White you should come back down to Austin during SXSW, I know this great record label that throws great parties away from all the chaos. ;)

·       <Rick Kanas> "the magic eye sees all"

·       <Nick(Boat)> @Jack White, did u get a chance to see the Dirtbombs/Soledad show in detroit over NYE?

·       <Vinnie Vrhovnik> Jack in inviting you to the Rock Hall

·       <Jack White> @vickendom the beatles revolver, check the left and right signals

·       <caitinlv> this chat is sticky tiday

·       <Jeff Harrow> @Jack White how much would one of your couches cost

·       <Alwaysin3s> @Jack White Jack I hope this New Year blesses you and keeps you well. That you find inspiration in the little things. Peace and love to you dear man

·       <Apple_Blossom> @KYLOSIS great question... its likely gonna be on the tele in parts or serials

·       <Rodrigo Cortes> Yes! SXSW!

·       <DETROITSAINT> @JackWhite I could hear records pressing during the blood drive! Is it close?

·       <MaggieMay> JW III your bens did a great show on NYE

·       <Breanna Gibitz> ever have a desire to visit the Rock Hall just on a whim? Sad you haven't been invited ha

·       <EngineDriver> Can we get a blue series of trad. Scottish and Irish tunes? You could record my seision group here in Denver!

·       <vickendom> Thanks man!

·       <Mandy Thomas> I love Revolver!!! come back to Dallas Jack!

·       <Isfeld> @Jack White Any TMR related events in Europe some day soon?

·       <Maxman142001> @Jack White will "Thats where it's at" ever get released?

·       <Morgan McPheeters> @Mandy Thomas Amen!

·       <Ira Washburn> When is your Detroit pressing plant going to be up and running?

·       <Jack White> @Rick Kanas "i bet you i can tell right now, within a dollar either way, how much money you have on you.........you got ten bucks."

·       <RACHELSWENS> Jack have you ever met Paul McCartney? He's my hero.

·       <MaWaiDu> @Jack I relate to your song about entitlement, maybe the most true lyrics you've written, entitlement is everywhere!!!

·       <DonTazeMeBro> Margo coming back in April to First Avenue have you played there

·       <LazyDynamite> When will Tom Waits do a blue series?

·       <Eve Jarman> Revolver's my favourite beatles album. Not a bad shout ;)

·       <EngineDriver> Did you see that Beatles Eight Days a Week doc?

·       <Nick(Boat)> @Jack White, any plans for a third store?

·       <Patricio Pinto Castro> @Jack White come back to latin america soon please

·       <Rick Kanas> "...and the silver?"

·       <gabbyalucas> Bought my first vinyl copy of Lazaretto and I must say I was quite surprised when I discovered the hidden tracks. You weirdo :) can't wait for the new record to be even weirder

·       <Jack White> @RACHELSWENS i saw him nearby once

·       <STL_Ben> @Jack White you have released both mono and stereo recordings......when will we see a quadraphonic release from TMR?

·       <DonTazeMeBro> the natrual

·       <Ashlyn Scoggins> Jack, do you type with both hands or just one?

·       <Abbie Stein> @Jack White what happened to the wax-o-rama in Nashville

·       <Mandy Thomas> Going to see Margo at The Kessler!

·       <MaggieMay> @jackwhite. I think a bone marrow registry during the blood drive would be awesome!

·       <Marjorie Hernandez> Spent New Year's Eve in the Ryman this year... ever think about doing an acoustic show there yourself, jack?

·       <Troo> Hi Jack !

·       <RACHELSWENS> I dont think that counts.

·       <Jeff Harrow> @Jack White how much would one of your couches cost

·       <jen&juice> I was at The Gorge when you played the whispering sea and it was incredible! @jack what are some of your favorite venues?

·       <Cameo Kraft> Have any plans to open a new store anytime soon??

·       <Melissa Gonzalez> @JackWhite are you currently reading anything interesting? Or have a recommendations?

·       <Jack White> @gabbyalucas those tracks took a long time to write and record

·       <chudd13> @Jack White "you can't spell it but it eats pretty good"

·       <Dina Grace Zoe Sciortino> what make JW smile?

·       <Nathan Wiseman> @JackWhite will the Dead Weather tour again?

·       <Jeff Harrow> @Jack White how much would one of your couches cost

·       <gabbyalucas> I'm sure! But they were quite the surprise

·       <DJRobbyRob> @Jack White Anything in the works with Dolly Parton?

·       <Apple_Blossom> @Jack White did you like your colored pencils?

·       <vickendom> I did "The Sound of Music" & Maria Callas' "Carmen" for 2 different TMR turntables.

·       <MaggieMay> Jack white, give your blood.

·       <ashleyredefine> Hello Jack-O!

·       <Maxman142001> @Jack White have you recorded any solo material since the break?

·       <RobScarr> @Jack White isn't one of them about smoking weed? haha

·       <MaggieMay> Like the poster

·       <Jack White> @Dina Grace Zoe Sciortino a woman asking if i'd like to go for a ride

·       <MaWaiDu> @Jack we really appreciate your time, it's awful kind of you

·       <Brandon Attal> My niece loves Weird Al, any chance you will release something from him?

·       <Hunter Arias> That white house Hey Jude performance was great! cool to see you could be there

·       <Dina Grace Zoe Sciortino> When can I pick you up?

·       <Jeff Harrow> @Jack White how much would one of your couches cost

·       <Jack White> @Hunter Arias i think paul was there

·       <Alwaysin3s> @Jack White nice

·       <Kelly McCleary> @Jack White Wanna go for a ride?

·       <Breanna Gibitz> What do you do when you start falling for someone but you know it just won't work?

·       <Apple_Blossom> did you here about the pipelines in cleveland and detroit???@Jack White

·       <LazyDynamite> I love the new Tribe Called Quest... Ego is awesome!!!

·       <KRIST3N> Jack would you like to go for a ride?

·       <Apple_Blossom> very sad

·       <Able_And_Want> Do you ever just pop in unannounced to talent shows at kids' schools or malls or places like that. I get worried about the future of our world, and then I see kids genuinely loving the music they're playing and dancing too and it makes me feel a little better. There's a lot of talent out there to be nurtured!

·       <Jack White> have to go y'all, getting this pressing plant up and running is not easy....

·       <Mallory McClain> @Jack White any news on the Luck Reunion sessions w/Margo et. al.?

·       <Dina Grace Zoe Sciortino> I can chauffer you :)

·       <Jack White> have a good day

·       <Rodrigo Cortes> Ever been to Marfa, TX?

·       <Cameron Fucile> good luck!

·       <Rodrigo Cortes>

·       <Rodrigo Cortes>

·       <RACHELSWENS> Bye boy

·       <Breanna Gibitz> have fun with that! Thanks jack

·       <ashleyredefine> Bye bye

·       <Ashlyn Scoggins> Keep working hard boo :)

·       <KYLOSIS> Thanks for hanging out with us!

·       <MaggieMay> You too!!!

·       <Kelly McCleary> nice! bye!

·       <thirdgirlll> @Jack White❤❤❤

·       <Brandon Attal> Word

·       <Jack White> make sure to do something positive for someone else

·       <Daryl-Anne Fletcher> Bye Jack

·       <Dina Grace Zoe Sciortino>

·       <Marjorie Hernandez> Later jack!!

·       <Rick Kanas> take care Jack!!

·       <tanzaib> @Jack White any news on the release of Voscovo stuff

·       <gabbyalucas> Have a good day man, thanks for this!

·       <Melissa Gonzalez> Have a nice day JW!! ❤❤❤

·       <DJRobbyRob> @Jack White Thank you!

·       <meohmy> @Jack White Thanks, Jack! Love you!

·       <bloomooks> You too, Jack. Thanks for dropping in

·       <DonTazeMeBro> will do

·       <jen&juice> You have a better one!

·       <STL_Ben> and time to funnel back down to 4 people

·       <Jack White> without them knowing about it....

·       <Breanna Gibitz> thank you

·       <Hunter Arias> Thanks! Have a great day!

·       <Sierra> @jack white bye jack💙☺

·       <Apple_Blossom> @Jack White thanks

·       <Janet Hall> Will do

·       <Sarah Sparks> love you! Best of luck in 2017

·       <thirdgirl> thanks jack, happy new year to you

·       <staci freeworth> thansk for saying Hi jack. Miss your music!!

·       <Mommaboat> @Jack White 💙💙💙

·       <KRIST3N> My bf will appreciate that advice

·       <Melissa Gonzalez> Always ❤

·       <Dina Grace Zoe Sciortino> love you

·       <RRRecords> @Jack White peace and love, peace and love

·       <LordKhan> Thanks Jack!

·       <Sarianna> Thank you for saying hello!

·       <ashleyredefine> For sure!

·       <Rodrigo Cortes> Happy New Years Jack!

·       <STL_Ben> DOH I missed jack! What did he say? Who has a transcript?

·       <Sierra> You're the best ❤️

·       <DJRobbyRob> I missed like the first 13 minutes

·       <Nova_Jane> I just found out that my friend is Billy Wayne Davis' cousin. Small world!!! :)

·       <Mandy Thomas> @Hunter Arias---Mother Nature's Son was amazing!

·       <caitinlv> have a good one Jack & taje care

·       <MaWaiDu> bye

·       <Mandy Thomas> @Hunter Arias---Mother Nature's Son was amazing!

·       <Mandy Thomas> @Hunter Arias---Mother Nature's Son was amazing!

·       <Michael Stevens> have fun!

·       <Mommaboat> @Jack White 💙💙💙

·       <Mandy Thomas> Bye Jack

[hopethisainttaken]

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Technique Tuesdays: Nature in Mixed-Media Art

Artists find inspiration in a variety of things: music, food, memories, and in their surroundings. But nature is unquestionably one of the more popular sources of inspiration for many artists. Whether it’s using found bits in artwork, being inspired by what is seen in nature, or using natural elements to create media to make art, artists continue to show us how nature fits into their art-making processes. See how some of our contributors incorporate nature in mixed-media art, and share some expert ideas, tips, and suggestions.

1. For artist, author, and instructor Nick Neddo, nature is more than a source of inspiration. Neddo looks to nature for art tools and media as well, making everything from paintbrushes and pens, to inks, crayons, and more. In his article “Charcoal Drawing Sticks” May/June 2016 issue of Cloth Paper Scissors magazine, he shares how to make your own charcoal sticks, using a backyard fire, an old tin, and narrow sticks from your surroundings. After scraping the bark from the sticks (he includes tips for the best types of wood to use), they are packed tightly in the tin, and the tin is set in a hot fire for at least an hour. Once cool, you have plenty of charcoal sticks for drawing. If you don’t like getting your hands dirty, Nick also provides instructions for hollowing out another stick to create a holder for the charcoal.

It’s easy to make your own charcoal pencils using twigs. (Art and photo by Nick Neddo)

2. Rebecca Ruegger creates beautiful stick figures, inspired by her walks in nature with her dogs. Made from a variety of sticks found on these adventures, these whimsical creatures will make you take a second look at how you can include nature in mixed-media art. In her article “Stick Figures” in the September/October 2015 issue of Cloth Paper Scissors magazine, Rebecca shares her techniques and tips. She says to look for sticks that have intriguing curves and perhaps knots for joints. Though joining the pieces sometimes requires a little creative thinking, Rebecca suggests filling in holes, divots, or depressions with clay, allowing it to dry, sanding the joins, and then paining them so they match.

Artists who incorporate nature in mixed-media art often use interesting materials such as twigs and rocks. (Art by Rebecca Ruegger, photo by Sharon White Photography)

3. Mixed-media artists are well known for using all kinds of everyday and found objects for stamping, and Rae Missigman is no exception. In the June 2016 Art Lesson Volume 6: Nature Stamps, Rae uses the ends of branches with paint for mark making in her collages. Done correctly, not only is the shape apparent, but the rings show well, too. Rae says it’s important to “properly prime your organic stamp.” Make the first application of paint heavy, and stamp on scrap paper before stamping on your canvas. It’s also important to use firm pressure, and to hold the stick in place for a few seconds before lifting to ensure a good print. The first stamped impressions will be heavy, but subsequent prints will reveal more of the wood-grain pattern.

The end of a branch, primed with some paint, becomes a stamp in the hands of a mixed-media artist. (Art and photo by Rae Missigman)

4. In the March/April 2014 issue of Cloth Paper Scissors magazine, Colleen Ansbaugh shares in her article “Felted Stitched Landscapes” how the shapes and colors on the horizon inspire her small landscape pieces, along with some tips for felting success. To begin, Colleen felts basic fabric shapes to the background, laying the foundation for her landscape. She stresses the importance of using just enough wool roving when felting to secure the pieces to the background without completely obscuring these additions. Alternatively, be sure to do enough felting to adhere the pieces so they don’t fall off. Though felting is usually done front to back, Colleen suggests flipping the piece over and felting from back to front for a different effect.

Surrounding landscapes inspired this felted mixed-media piece. (Art by Colleen Anspaugh, photo by Hornick/Rivlin Studio)

5. Graham Keegan is another artist who looks to nature for materials. Keegan creates one-of-a-kind fabrics using natural dyes he concocts, some incorporating plants he harvests in his Los Angles neighborhood. Keegan created “A Shibori Flag” in the July/August 2016 issue of Cloth Paper Scissors magazine. The star section of the flag was created by accordion folding the fabric, first parallel to the long side, then parallel to the short side, and then tying off each corner with thread, blocking the pigment from those areas. Keegan stressed the importance of applying the dye in thin layers, saying, “You cannot achieve a stable, long-lasting deep shade with a single long dip.” Important to remember!

Using natural dyes brings in a bit of nature in mixed-media art. (Art by Graham Keegan, photo by Sharon White Photography)

6. Nature printing is a fun and easy way to create any number of art pieces; Sharon Gross created greeting cards using leaves in the article “Nature Print Greeting Cards” in the September/October 2013 issue of Cloth Paper Scissors magazine. Unlike other methods, Sharon suggests applying the paint to the back, or the vein side, of the leaf. She places a paper towel over the leaf before gently rolling over the leaf with a brayer. The paper towel keeps the paint from splattering, resulting in a nice crisp print.

Reveal the beauty of nature in mixed-media art by printing leaves directly onto paper. (Art by Sharon Gross, photo by Sharon White Photography)

7. Get an in-depth look at capturing nature in mixed-media art in a variety of outdoor locations in Cathy Johnson’s book Artist’s Sketchbook: Exercises and Techniques for Sketching on the Spot. Some of the most beautiful sights we see are things reflected in water. Catching that image in a sketch can be a bit intimidating, but Cathy has some tips for making it more doable. When a reflection occurs in still water, she says to mirror the shape or position of the reflection. If the reflection leans to the right, sketch the image in the same way. Also, it’s important to remember that the image will become less distinct the further it is from the reflected object. In this case, the branch becomes a scribble.

Paying attention to elements like shadows and ripples lends an authentic look to artwork.

8. Dorit Elisha has another way to create and use natural dyes that involves steaming or cooking plants, leaves, and bark from her own backyard. She reveals all in her article “Eco-Dyed Collage” in the July/August 2016 issue of Cloth Paper Scissors magazine. The eco-dye process starts by creating a stack of papers with plant materials arranged between each layer, and then tying and submerging the stack in boiling water that also has plant material in it. This process not only dyes the papers, it also creates prints from the materials between each layer. Dorit added rusty bits to the mix for another punch of color, and used these papers for beautiful earth-toned collages.

Another way to print from nature is to boil plant material with paper or fabric. (Art by Dorit Elisha, photo by Sharon White Photography)

9. Deborah Wolff found inspiration seaside for her felted seashell cards, adding texture, line, and definition to her shells with free-motion stitching (See her article “Seaside Inspiration” in the July/August 2013 issue of Cloth Paper Scissors magazine). Once the needle felting is accomplished, for the best results, Deborah suggests steam pressing the shell piece, using the maximum steam option. This also helps to hide the holes created by felting, she says.

Shells were the inspiration for these bright and colorful felted cards. (Art by Deborah Wolff, photo by Hornick/Rivlin Studio)

10. Deborah Muller let nature inspire her doodle art, and she shares her techniques in the article “Building a Doodle Library” in the Spring 2016 issue of Zen Doodle Workshop magazine. Deborah catalogs her designs by shapes or style, and says you can’t go wrong by starting with basic shapes. Here she started with simple leaf shapes, filling them with a variety of basic doodles for stunning results. Natural shapes are easy to reference and draw. Think about using flower, shell, and tree motifs as the basis for doodles. Deborah’s suggestions for doodling success include drawing out your designs in pencil first, since practicing the basic shapes will help you master them. Later you can forego the pencil. Start in the middle of your design and work outward; this helps balance the design. And, last but not least, remember to accept little bloopers and turn them into your own designs.

You can include nature in mixed-media art even in doodles; these were inspired by leaf shapes. (Art by Deborah Muller, photo by Sharon White Photography)

Feeling inspired by the beauty of flora and fauna? The resources below from North Light Shop will help you get started on your next nature-inspired project.

Learn new techniques for painting a forest in Sadrine Pelessier’s video Painting Patterned Trees.

Learn how to paint plants and flowers organically in this Natural Compositions video with Staci Swider.

Record nature on the spot with the great techniques and tips in Artist’s Sketchbook by Cathy Johnson.

Discover how to draw observations from nature that you can add to your art journal in Drawing for the Absolute Beginner by Mark and Mary Willenbrink.

  The post Technique Tuesdays: Nature in Mixed-Media Art appeared first on Artist's Network.

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