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#the ideas I've had in the last two days
annwayne · 8 months
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For the wip game: Crosshair, your choice which one :)
I had to write all this out from bullet point format ha! Well, you caused this so I think you should be proud.
The Red Logs: Murder in a Bar
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“Anya..?” 
Crosshair’s voice sent me into a spiral. He saw, did he see? He had to have seen what I did-who I let go. A clone. My hands shook against the door.
“What did you do?” There wasn’t anger in his voice. Maybe he hadn’t realized what happened. Maybe there was no time for anger. 
I turned. Crosshair was only a few steps away. It could have been lightyears. My lips matched my hands. My voice caught in my chest.
“Doll,” He crossed the galaxy to touch me. “What do we need to do?”
That was a question I could answer. My eyes went to the security camera pointed directly at us-at the door we stood against. Crosshair followed.
“Once I’m outside I can ask Tech-”
“He’s watching, isn’t he?” Words returned. “You can help. Will you help?” I stepped out of Crosshair’s grasp and asked the camera. Something drove me forward-like confidence but not as sunny, like determination but not as honest, like rage but not as blind. Retribution, perhaps. “We need to to be seen.” Forward I went, walking quickly-but not in a rush-down the skinny hallway and then left, into the stairwell. Crosshair followed my logic, walking down the full length of the hall so he was just below the camera.
Through the glass, our eyes met. Something like concern pulled his lips down. My face probably spelled anxiety if it looked anything how I felt. We started walking-Me down the stairs and left, him just enough to meet me. He held out a hand, and I took it. 
“I heard yelling, what happened?” 
Crosshair didn’t stiffen, but his eyes narrowed. “Wrecker was getting restless. I should probably go with them.” 
A facade of a smile, perhaps too easily put on, slid over my lips. “What, and you get away without me meeting your squad?” I was surprised at how easy I laughed. By now we had reached the double doors. We exited the hall and came out into a busy mess of police and clones. Frustration overflowed the room. The feeling was almost nauseous. 
Crosshair noticed my head dip, and he put aside whatever feelings he had about my actions to check on me. We stood against a wall of alcohol and he covered me from the rest of the room. “What’s wrong?” 
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coollyinterferes · 2 days
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The unmistakable sound of footsteps approaching begins to fill the air. Whoever is coming seems to have brought some company along…
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They are getting closer… and closer… and closer…
…and closer…
……until..................
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"Goooooood evenin'!!" Comes the loud greeting from a certain blond man. A big smile on his face and all.
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"We beg your pardon for our prolonged absence. It was completely beyond our control..." Then adds the gentleman standing by his side, apologizing on behalf of both, offering a genuine smile along with the apology.
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"...BUT! We're back!" And hopefully for good this time…
#[HI HIIIIIII~~ HOW'S EVERYONE DOING?? 8)]#[IDK IF ANYONE REMEMBERS ME OR MY MUSES ANYMORE?? BUT HELLOOO]#[one million years later but we're backkkkkk]#[i'd like to start by apologizing for completely disappearing for months without any announcement]#[life has been far from kind all this year so far and this has greatly and negatively impacted me emotionally]#[like..very VERY badly (harmful stuff and etc)]#[all to a point where i've had to take some time off from most social media]#[and which is also why i haven't checked or replied to any messages anywhere in a while]#[not that i'm the most social and most active person ever but you get what i mean here ;v;]#[the original plan was to come back here like a month or so ago but as you can guess i was unable to due to the same irl issues]#[i'm not gonna lie i'm still not doing well]#[but i wanted to come back or at least try to]#[since writing for these two and the ogre street guys always brings me joy and i also missed everyone here!]#[i'm still unsure if dropping threads will be the way to go for now or not#because i have no idea if my partners are still interested in any threads we had prior my unannounced hiatus]#[or if anyone's still interested in interacting with me and my muses again ;v;]#[so if we have ongoing threads i'll likely be jumping into your IMs over the course of the days to ask about it]#[i just need to check my thread tracker first because i can't remember what i owed last time ;;;;;;]#[as always: we can start new stuff any time in case you're no longer feeling whatever threads we had]#[and we can also start from scratch if that's best too]#[so no worries there!]#[enough blablah from me for now]#[i missed you all so much!]#[and to the new followers this blog somehow earned in my absence: Hi!! Thank you for following and I hope we can interact soon!!]#[hope everyone has been doing great during my absence!! <3]#;speedwagon says (( ic ))#;jonathan says (( ic ))#;ic#(??#;speedwagon withdraws coolly
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Recovered photo of Joey Drew. Taken December 31, 1944, during a New Year's Eve party at the Arch residence, photographed by George Parker. Photo depicts Mr. Drew shaking hands with an unknown man in a hat. Attempts to identify the man and his whereabouts have been unsuccessful. -The ArchGate Preservation Society.
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Alternatively: 'Unknown' - Return to the Studio AU.
Even though he was the one who personally invited every guest at the party, when Joey later asked him who the "strange man" was, Nathan had no idea who he was referring to, even with Drew's specifics.
After several years have passed, looking back at the photo, Nathan still has no idea who this man is or how he got into the party.
Joey described the encounter as something that "started out pleasantly, and ended on a very uncomfortable note."
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cerise-on-top · 6 months
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Hiiii love bug can you do the fluff alphabet for farah
If your still doing that🫶🏻🫶🏻
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I don't think the two of you understand how grateful I am that I got the same request twice! Writing these takes an eternity! However, these are not proofread, I am too tired to do that, so please excuse any mistakes!
And don't worry about the frequent requests, I'm used to the same people requesting from me several times in a row!
Fluff Alphabet for Farah
A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?
Farah is an active kind of person, so she would love nothing more than to go out on a hike with you. Or maybe explore the surrounding area a bit. She doesn’t need to discover something every time, but spending that time with you is nice. However, if the weather is anything but nice, then she’ll simply spend the time cuddling with you in bed. Or maybe do a puzzle with you as well. She loves the ones with animal motives.
B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?
Farah can be a heated woman. She had to be in order to gain everyone’s respect. However, you still have the patience to calmly talk to her. You have the patience to talk her down when she’s about to smack someone again. Don’t get me wrong, she has a lot of self restraint, but it’s still nice to have someone be your voice of reason from time to time. She admires the fact that you’re usually a rather calm sort of person.
C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?
Farah is pretty good at talking. She’ll usually distract you from everything, be it by telling you about the beetle she saw or by giving you the most comforting hug you’ve ever received in your life. If you’re experiencing a panic attack, then she’ll play some games with you to get you to calm down. I’ve mentioned it before, but she knows a few breathing exercises as well, or maybe she helps you using the 54321 method. Either way, she won’t be leaving your side until she’s certain nothing bad is going to happen anymore.
D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?
She likes to think that her cause will help her build something semi-utopic. She knows fully well that Urzikstan will never become a full utopia, but she wants it to be a nice, peaceful place since it is achievable. She loves her country, so she’d love nothing more than to live there with you. Maybe adopt some animals, have some farmland, tend to your plants and live off them. She wants to be self-sufficient to some degree. She also wants it to be disgustingly domestic, like taking your wrist as she runs ahead to show you something. 
E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?
Dominant, definitely. Farah usually says what she thinks and isn’t afraid to take charge either. You’re more than welcome to add your input, she actually likes it when you do so, but she usually gets her way. Her ideas are usually good as well, so they’re worth entertaining. However, it’s clear she wears the pants in the relationship. If you’re too scared to talk to the waiter regarding your order, she’s your woman. She can do just about anything with confidence,
F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?
It depends on the topic. Usually, Farah doesn’t forgive or forget that easily. Even when it’s you, she won’t forget the way you spew your poison of passive-aggressiveness at her. However, if it’s you, then she’s more easy to forgive. She does value what you have. While fighting she is also very passive-aggressive. Won’t yell at you, but she will make her point clear. Doesn’t budge easily either. Fighting with her is rough since she’s usually in the right, she knows what she’s talking about. If it’s something small she won’t always admit she was in the wrong either. 
G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?
Generally speaking, she’s on the more grateful side. War could take her away from you any moment, so she has to be grateful. She’s grateful for everything you do for her, from cleaning the dishes to folding the laundry to giving her a kiss before every operation. It won’t last for eternity, so she needs to make every moment count, ergo she’s very grateful for all the time she gets to spend with you.
H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?
She doesn’t tell you about every operation she goes on. Doesn’t tell you about all the people she’s killed. However, she’s a rather open person in general. If you’re close enough, if she trusts you enough, then she’ll share her tragic past with you and open up to you. Sometimes she will seek out comfort from you as well. So yeah, there won’t be too many secrets in your relationship on her behalf. At least none that are relevant.
I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?
She’d likely always try to overwork herself, becoming a better version of herself. She blames herself for the people who have died for her cause, even if not all of those deaths were her fault. You’d likely get her to relax for a little bit, calm down as well. Although she will still mourn every brother and sister she’d have lost, she won’t grieve too much about it anymore. She has a big goal to work towards, a better future for her people, her and you. Together.
J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?
Kind of. If you’re getting too close to someone for her liking, then yes, she absolutely gets jealous. Especially if she doesn’t know that person well. She won’t kiss you in front of that person to get them to back off, but she will gently grab your hand and hold it in front of that person so that they get the right idea. But she doesn’t really act too much on it otherwise. She’s an adult, she know better than to second guess your relationship. She’s not that insecure.
K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?
I don’t think Farah has had anyone before you, never having had time for a relationship before. However, I don’t think she’d be a bad kisser. A bit clumsy, maybe, bumping noses together, but she wouldn’t be bad. She’d be average. However, she’s a quick learner, so she’ll get there fairly quickly. Your first kiss would be clumsy. She’d miss your mouth a bit and kiss your cheek instead. And when she’d go for it again, she’d bump her nose against yours. It got both of you to giggle.
L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?
Nothing too fancy, she doesn’t have time for that. She’d invite you for a walk, get to a nice spot and then confess to you there. Although her language may get a bit flowery, she gets straight to the point. Do you want to be together with her? Yes or no? She doesn’t really have the time for heartbreak, or too many feelings, so she just wanted to get it out as soon as possible.
M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?
I don’t think she particularly wants to get married. Sure, she wants to live together with you and have a good old time, but she doesn’t need to be bound to you by some silly vow. Isn’t her daily adoration, the way she almost worships you, enough for you? She’s committed anyway, she loves you above all else, but she doesn’t see the need to put a ring to it.
N icknames - What do they call their s/o?
Habibi/habibti, rohi or ya amar in Arabic, and my love, my moon or my heart in English. She loves having sappy and romantic nicknames for you in her native tongue and in English. However, she does like to add “my” in front of those words to show everyone that you’re hers and hers only. Besides, calling you hers makes her heart flutter. She sometimes gets creative in Arabic and calls you all kinds of sweet and mushy, over the top nicknames.
O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?
It’s only kind of obvious, and only to those close to her. She gets more chatty with you, she gets ever so slightly more touchy with you as well. While she may not always be able to make time for you, she will go out of her way to grab some coffee with you and talk over anything and everything first. She doesn’t really express her feelings that much, only the necessary amount for them to not bother her too much. Brings you gifts sometimes, holds your hand when she can, compliments you as well. That sort of thing. Will also think about you a whole lot more.
P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?
She doesn’t really brag about your relationship, but she doesn’t hide it from the world either. If someone asks about you then she’ll tell them about you, but she won’t go out of her way to introduce you as her partner every time. She’s not shy about PDA, but she doesn’t really go out of her way to show it either. If you wanna kiss her, then that’s fine, you don’t have to hold back, but she won’t really go beyond hand holding of her own accord. Again, do as you please, but keep it within reason.
Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.
She knows how to speak her mind. You won’t ever see her lying about something, she’s just honest like that. There’s really no reason to walk on eggshells around you all the time. She’s good at communicating her every want and need, so you’ll know what to do. She’s also more than happy to negotiate with you about something. Communication is key, and she can do just that. She’s like that with everyone else too, so why shouldn’t she be like that with you as well? You’ll always know what she thinks, either through your intuition or through her telling you.
R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?
She can be rather romantic in theory. In practice she really doesn’t have the time for much else aside from the occasional walk. She wants to eat at a fancy restaurant with you, watch some awful but funny rom coms, dance in the rain, win some plushies for you at a fair. She really does want to do all those things with you, but she can’t since she doesn’t have the time or the means to. So, for the time being, it will be cooking together, cuddling on the bed and eating snacks. But other than that, she will do whatever is in her power to make you happy. She would go as far as tell the most embarrassing jokes in the hearing range of anyone just to see you smile.
S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?
Yes. She will support you however she can. Truth be told, she won’t be able to do too much since she doesn’t have a lot of money she can spend freely, and she doesn’t have a lot of time either, but she will always ask you about what progress you’ve made thus far. If you need a shoulder to cry on, she’s there for you. If you just want someone to give you an inspiring speech, she can do that too. Just give her the word and she’ll do whatever’s in her power.
T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?
She likes having a routing for the basic things, but she does like something new every once in a while as well. As mentioned already, she likes going on walks and hikes with you. Sometimes she’ll take a different route just so she can see some new scenery with you. It doesn’t have to be anything big, sometimes just trying the new vendor’s food is enough for her as well. However, she needs something new every once in a while, otherwise she’ll grow bored of life. She does want you to be part of it as well, though.
U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?
I like to think she would know you pretty well by the time you’re together. She notices the subtle things in and about you as well, and will mention them too if they’re positives. She can be a pretty empathetic person as well, but not too much. Although she’d love to share the pain of her brothers and sisters, she can’t always do so. But that doesn’t mean she’s not immune to the cries of the suffering. If you’re happy, she’s happy. But if you’re sad then she’ll also feel a twinge of sadness. However, her emotions won’t nearly be as intense as yours.
V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?
Your relationship is very important to her. About as important as her closest friends and her cause. She would go to great lengths to keep you safe. But I don’t think she would stop her cause entirely for that sake. Uzbekistan is important to her. However, I don’t think you would ever get in a situation where she had to choose between her people and you. She does keep you safe at all times. You likely won’t have to worry about the harder choices with her.
W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.
She probably has a plushie that she gave to you. It was important to her, but she wanted you to have it. She loves it, if she could she’d still be actively cuddling it. It was a gift from a young girl who wanted to support her cause. It’s among Farah’s most cherished items. However, she does believe that the plushie is in better hands with you. Will sometimes take it from you and just hold it for a few moments before returning it to you, though.
X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?
Behind closed doors? Absolutely. If it was up to her, you’d be cuddling the entire stinking day away. She won’t go overboard if that’s what you want, but she loves to give you kisses to your forehead. Another thing she really loves is to hold your hand while you’re sleeping next to her. She’ll squeeze it gently too to show you that she’s there for you. She really wants you to dream a little dream of her being madly in love with you and taking good care of you as well.
Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?
By remembering all the good times you’ve had together. She’ll also text you quite often, sending you funny pictures of her with this cool bug and lizard she found on a rock. Might call you on the calmer evenings as well to ask you how you’re doing. Your voice really calms her down, it’s the most soothing sound on the planet for her. She’ll also go through the photo gallery and the selfies she made with you, or all the pictures she has of you in general.
Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?
Pretty much, yeah. However, she’ll always play it safe whenever you’re involved somehow. She’ll keep guards posted if it means you won’t get kidnapped. While she won’t be able to afford an even greater war with even more nations involved, she will absolutely kill for you. She can’t afford to die, so she’ll live for you instead. Her line of work is rough, but she’ll do what she can to keep you happy. Even when she’s been shot, she’ll limp back to you just so you could see her alive.
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sysig · 5 months
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Red Eyes and Evil Time, practically the same thing right (Patreon)
#Doodles#Villainsona#Just Desserts#Sona double feature!#Red Eyes and Evil Time /are/ different for the record lol#There's overlap and they're both eye details but they're different#Mmm Red Eyes feels so niiiice <3 And I've been pacing myself so it's Just Red Eyes!#No red shines :) Which can happen even on Red Eyes#In fact it's probably more common - the red shines on Blue Eyes was something of an oddity#No one knows the lore except me I'll explain someday lol#For now it's just fun to be in Red Eyes! :D And the occasional Evil Time as well lol - all the overlaps!#I somehow accidentally made a like?? Cotton Candied Popcorn themed outfit for Eli for the first one lol that wasn't my intention#I mean it's cute I'm not about to fight it lol I'd love for my sonas to have other clothes inspired by each other haha#Eli's eyes are still quite fun to draw as well haha those bright pops of colour - Red Purple or Blue they're all so stark and shaped#Back to their classic feminine outfit good for them uwu#Silly lad#They're also still a scientist first and foremost - it's all chemicals there's gotta be a way to recreate it externally!#Local vampire scientist creates mood stabilizers more at 7 lol#I'm quite pleased with the three-red two-purple one-blue gradient as well hehe - the decay! :D I like it as a visual#Charm tiiime <3 <3 Happy Charm time in Evil Time! Usually better than bad mood Evil Time lol - at least for those around her#Still chaotic to be in it haha - but happy chaos is happy! Lol#Again more fun with eyes the light bounce in the one where she's holding the melt is so cute and looks so nice on my paper too <3#I had a silly comic idea for her for the next time I get into Red Eyes as well - if I remember lol#Big Love is hearts! It just makes sense#Also I am Really proud of the cleaning job I did on that last one lol - from original to this? Night and day ngl#Guess that goes to show how little cleaning I do on-page lol#For some I do! Others...#Still thinking up outfits - you can probably just make out ''Hero Charm'' in her hair lol trying to think around different themes#Something that could become something else! Add or subtract an element and it changes the ''meaning'' of the outfit#Kinda like her initial caped design that Kaiein rejected hmmm
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queeniecamps · 1 year
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i wish i appriciated all of the free time i used to have before i got a job, i made SOOOOO much fanart, now I'm lucky if i get enough inspiration and motivation to make something during my days off
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pinktinselmonstrosity · 2 months
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guys in very very big news, after finishing my dissertation i suddenly have energy and motivation and passion for my hobbies again???? like. almost overnight???? mental
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honey-skulls · 2 months
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HUGE VENT
I'm sorry but i need to get this out, just please don't worry too much or take anything personally/gen
My routine these last two weeeks has been:
-Wake up at my 10 am alarm and spend the whole day in bed, mentally and physically exhausted, brain fog and no motivation for anything, only getting up to eat, having to wait for the "food time" hours to roll around that my therapist gave me because I'm not allowed to eat outside of those hours and if I'm hungry but missed the last food time then too bad, struggling to stay awake because again I'm not allowed to sleep out of the "sleep hours" she gave me and that includes naps, excitedly waiting for 21h30/22h to roll around so i can finally sleep
-Spend the evening mentally screaming in my mind because, while my body is still just as physically exhausted, my mind is suddenly sharp and full of ideas and motivation, but i'm still too tired to get up and draw
-Then spend midnight and onward rolling around in bed, hot and bored out of my mind because my physical tiredness also vanished, but i'm not allowed to get up and draw because it's "sleep hours" and i need to reschedule my body, and end up falling asleep at around 5 am
I'm totally not slowly loosing my mind 😃👍
Edit: Oh also the constant noise in my ears has gotten worse, i don't know what silence is anymore
Silence is actually worse than loud rooms
It's driving me insane
It's so loud
#literaly so mentally exhausted to the point that i forgot to ask a bunch of really important stuff and tests at my last gyneco appointement#i can't remember which med I'm supposed to take at a specific hour and which one is whenever. so i just take them both at the same time#i can't remember if i have still boxes of meds in advance and which one i need to go refill#because they're stuff i need to constantly take and not suddenly stop with#but i keep forgetting to check#and i can't remember where i put the prescriptions anyway#and which one are the right one and which one are old#I'm so tired#and I'm so tired of being tired#and I'm SO so so tired of constantly fighting to have my health and struggles acknowledge#i kinda just gave up and now i'm just mindlessly sitting there at the appointments for only 10 minutes being being told that i can leave#I've just been run in circles for way too long#and i get aggresively criticised every time i use advice and seek for help on the Internet. by the same doctors who don't give me ANY advic#or help#and my head has been pounding for two days#and my verbal ticks have gotten so bad that it genuinely gets hard to breathe sometimes#with a therapist that just made me talk in circles and lowkey criticised me for two hours#(this was our first real therapy meeting and they're supposed to only be 1 hour and are NOT reimbursed because the autism center will NOT#fucking answer to ANYONE. medical professional or not. so i had to go private 😃👍)#and the only thing she gave me at the end of those 2 hours was this schedule that I'm not allowed to bend#I've been trying to daydream about my AUs and develope them as usual to try to feel better#but now that i have time to draw. i just get more and more drawing ideas that keep pilling up and tear me apart from the inside because i#can't draw any of them thanks to this damn fatigue#i literally only did 1 af revenge and still need to do 3 more. and i genuinely don't know if I'll manage to do that#i told two friends that ill draw something for them. but nothing. because too tired and everything keeps slipping from my mind#i will daydream about Dimentio for hours straight. then forget that i did. and panic that the fixation is slipping because i “haven't#thought about him in a while“. ”a while“ was 40 seconds ago. I'm not exaggerating this keeps happening#i also keep spending the night DRENCHED in sweat because i just can't sleep without my blanket on me anymore. so more struggles#vent#negative
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mossflower · 2 months
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genuinely though. i'm realising that i only have two modes of living and they're busy 24/7 and depression spiral. in principle i love having loads of free time but it is straight up not good for me!! which sucks!!
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bookshelf-in-progress · 11 months
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First two years of Inklings Challenge: Spend most of the month trying to write a complicated epistolary fantasy, then in the last three days switch to a simpler idea.
This year's Inklings Challenge: Spend most of the month trying to write a simple idea, then in the last three days switch to writing a complicated epistolary fantasy.
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Aspect of Order: Primordial & Present-Day
One of the first deities, part of what is known as the Primordial Triad. It created the planes alongside the Aspects of Chaos and the In-Between and held dominion over the Material Plane. It embodied order in the way nature has order: the life cycle, gravity, the tides, the surety that the seasons will change, the patterns that appear in flora and fauna alike, the symmetry of pinecones and butterflies. It was associated with the night as a time of quiet preparation where the world rests, and when one can see the remains of creation in the darkened sky. It is said that the two moons of the Material Plane are its eyes, watching over its creations.
All three members of the Primordial Triad are referred to with "it", so ancient and unfathomable that applying a mortal, transient concept of gender to them seemed almost blasphemous.
Almost.
The modern-day conception of Order is quite different. Though she still reigns over the night and natural laws, her followers have placed her at the forefront of the creation process, reducing the In-Between's role and rejecting Chaos altogether. Though most present-day cultures think of her in this way, many of them do not emphasize her: she is an invisible Over-God, keeping the other deities and forces in line and maintaining cosmic balance from behind the scenes. In places where she is worshipped heavily, however, she is placed at the forefront of the pantheon. In those cases, worship of deities with overlapping domains is either illegal (ex local gods of justice) or considered secondary to her (ex the god of the Wilds). The worship of smaller, local deities is usually discouraged or suppressed over-all in these areas in order to encourage a more structured, uniform religious practice. While both aspects of Order championed paladins, Primordial Order also championed druids and rangers while Modern Order champions clerics.
Ancient theologians debated whether or not Order and Chaos were two aspects of the same being (ironically, there was no question that the In-Between was its own separate force). However, following the iconoclasm that effectively forced Chaos out of the pantheon and created the modern conception of Order, such lines of thought were considered heretical, and then blasphemous.
The iconoclasm did have an unintended consequence, however. Crying motifs appeared in some art of Primordial Order around that time, particularly in the areas that resisted the iconoclasts more intensely. Some scholars believe that it may have been a direct reaction to the event: Order mourning the loss of its counterpart. Others have argued, however, that the lack of such motifs (or equivalents) in depictions of the In-Between prove this wrong. After all, why would it not also be grieving?
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I can't fucking believe that I procrastinated my gender for like. A good three years.
#Like in fairness I was in an incredibly abusive environment already#Questioning my gender was the last fuckin thing I needed so I was just like “that's a problem for later”#Butttttttttt... Now I've got no idea what I'm doing#Like I've cut my hair??? I like looking like a boy????#But I also know that a few months ago I was straight up wearing floor length skirts on the daily and braiding my hair with flowers??????#and my definition of “boy” and “man” is so inherently fucked up bc of the abuse that I'm unwilling to actually use those words???#And I chose the name I use for a reason as a promise (long story) but it's really feminine????#And it'd be nice if people would be ok with using two different names for me if it turns out I am genderfluid but?????#They almost certainly won't??????#Like most of them refuse to use my chosen name anyway and I'm just. To polite to correct them.#no I'm not canadien I'm british#Anyway help?#Bc I realised all this the other day LITERALLY AN HOUR before I went on stage and almost had a complete breakdown??????#good news is there's this trans boy in my performing arts group and he was so nice and supportive that I didn't cry in the end#much anyway but still?????? I procrastinated my fucking gender????????? And now I'm fuckin confused???????#Also I can now cosplay one of my OCs#So that's cool#Remember the name Becky Roberts guys#Like if I am trans for genderfluid or whatever it'll help next year with The Plan (which I may elaborate on if asked)#but also???? My parents still refuse to accept that I'm a lesbian if I tell them “yo I periodically become a boy”#They'll probably yell at me at BEST#“that's not a real thing!!!” NEITHER IS YOUR FAÇADE OF A HAPPY FAMILY BUT YOU BELIEVE IN THAT#*ahem* anyway yeah I'm struggling if anyone has any advice pls help#Oh and I've only told like one person I've cut my hair and I'm meeting up with a load of friends on Sunday#Bwhahahhahahahhah#help me#tw abuse mention#queer community
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thefirstknife · 2 years
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also to add on to your "destiny dying long live destiny"
its the Monday after a holiday weekend for the states. people are exhausted and probably going back to work or trying to down tune
also also its the holiday week where a new mainline Pokemon game just released. regardless of your opinions/the quality of it its still a brand new Pokemon game. thats gonna pull ppl from anywhere.
Yep! It's really interesting how November without an expansion in Destiny has been low two years in a row. And incidentally, both Novembers, there's been a Pokemon and Call of Duty release (on top of other major releases).
I know Aztecross said "don't tell me it's because it's Monday, it's Monday for other games too and there's 34 games above Destiny by player count." But it does matter. Those other games also probably have fewer players than they do when it's not post-holiday Monday.
And ofc, not all games are tied to seasonal cycles. People know there's nothing left to wrap up in Destiny so they moved to other games that they may have been neglecting during the Destiny pinnacle grind. I've neglected other games for Destiny this season and I've been catching up with them now that Destiny's season is ending and I have nothing left to do. If I have to choose what to play on a Monday before the new season, it won't be Destiny. Cringefail confession, but I spent this Monday catching up with levelling my battlepass in Overwatch. Yeah it's Monday, but I have things left to do in Overwatch and none in Destiny.
If Destiny is someone's primary game, they'll prioritise it in the first two months because of the pinnacle grind. I have to get my power level up so I can do GMs. I always prioritise Destiny first. So when I'm done, last month of the season, I play less because I have to go back and do stuff I neglected in other games. It's really simple. The fact that it's the final week of the season is crucial context.
And it's really hypocritical of these content creators to do this after they spent months farming negative attention and bad press for the game. Maybe fewer people are playing because you convinced them that the game is shit? They never seem to like taking credit for the negative, just the positive. You influence people's opinions! When you post the newest god tier build, everyone and their grandma copies it. When you shittalk the game for months, your fans listen to you. I don't know why that's difficult to understand.
There's obviously legitimate reasons for everyone to personally dislike the game! I have my gripes too, everyone does. I think we could have really important convos and feedback with Bungie about the issues we have. But this specific way of doing it? Constructing outrage by using "numbers" stripped of all context to "prove" that the game is objectively bad? It's sleazy. And it helps no one. Worst of all, it results in really awful online behaviour under the guise of anonymity and perceived justification: "bad devs ruin the game, we have the right to complain!"
Bungie knows the numbers better than any of us. If they're concerned, they will deal with it. And ofc, we'll see the numbers skyrocket in December. And then drop in January. And then skyrocket in February. And so on.
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radical-rapscallion · 8 months
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curious..
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thatrandombystander · 11 months
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Oh bubble tea and pair of half stale donuts. You're the only thing between me and me quitting my fucking job right now.
#does this count as a meal? it's my first meal of the day then :(#HEY YO guess who almost started fucking crying at her desk and is going to be working on the weekend to get something done :(#look. my boss. i like her as a person.#but she is a BAD manager.#what the fuck do you mean you thought I was supposed to be managing the whole website redevelopment for the subsidiary company????#when was i supposed to do that????#i couldn't have even done anything because we have established that all the formatting for the subsidiary company is to match our company#and that's only been really done in the last TWO days by a manager who has done NOTHING but build that for two days#WITH HELP from another person in the team#meanwhile I've been doing all this other urgent shit you've been asking me for#and now you're fucking 'disappointed' that I haven't kept up with the other manager? fuck all the way off#these two websites must be built in the next WEEK#we've had this deadline for MONTHS and we didn't fucking DO any of it until last week????#i have been WAITING for you to read through and approve the written content so i could start loading it in#AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T READ THROUGH IT#so. what? you're gonna read it later and make us re-do copying everything in?#we still don't even have images? you're making me put placeholder images#and then you're going to 'go through and decide what to use on each page'#fat chance of that#you have no idea how clunky this website system is. loading ANY image in takes TIME to process#i am going to SCREAM#i SAID this would happen. I SAID this whole thing would be mismanaged and we'd end up working overtime#im hungry. im tired. i have a headache.#to top it off I've got period cramps????? rage.#less than three months left and I'm rotating out of this team.#ramblings of a bystander
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rimouskis · 1 year
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okay I've decided against pursuing any sort of diagnosis re: my growing suspicions I have ADHD/something of that ilk for a variety of reasons, but it will NEVER stop galling me how I lack object permanence. like a baby. I need to have clear storage containers because if I cannot see something I forget it exists. it's both a relief to know that there is a potential "explanation" for such behavior but also realizing that most other people can do convenient things (like: remembering the existence of stuff) is also FRUSTRATINGGGG because I wish that was me! imagine being able to remember things not only casually but well! imagine that! god!
#it's also frustrating because it can bleed into interpersonal relationships and depending on people's friendship styles it can have a...#large impact. like back in high school my best friend would regularly be hurt by me not remembering things#(ranging from stories she'd tell me to stories I'd already told her to people's names to pieces of information I'd been made aware of)#and I took it personally at that age and sort of took it as:#''I am an inherently selfish person who can't remember things about other people and I am Bad''#and while that friendship grew apart and she sort of resigned herself (eventually) to me being the way that I was#I guess I never really let go of my guilt around it... and even now I still feel Very Bad about not remembering things#and I've often thought to myself of how I could mitigate it to be a better friend#but I short of ''keeping notes on your friends and the stories they tell you which you will need to reference often''#I've not had much luck in cracking that#I feel like as I've grown older I've found friends who (for whatever reason) don't take my ''poor memory'' personally#[and hilariously I've seemed to befriend people with FREAKISHLY GOOD memories who more than make up for my own]#and that's been... a bit better because it's been many years since I've had a friend make me feel bad for not remembering something#and in fact I have friends now who HAVE diagnosed ADHD who (obviously) Get It#but back of my head I still think that I do the people around me a disservice by not frequently/accurately committing things to memory#I think it makes me a worse friend and a worse employee for that matter#and I do in fact wish there was a magic pill that would grant me that ability and that ability only. it feels like it would change my LIFE.#anyways this tag essay is brought to you by:#me looking for my concert earplugs (which I have never used despite buying them FOR three concerts I went to last year since I kept...#say it with me... forgetting about them the day of the concert!) and finding a stash of two different battery types I had no idea I owned#anyways. earplugs are going into my car so I will have them on me#and batteries have been moved to the clear container in my closet with the other batteries. sigh.
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