#the ikea verse

[batsandbugs]

Bruce Wayne's Headache Class. System: Sneak Peak 1

“I insist he assigns the blame to me,” grumbles Damian, his mouth twisted in a frustrated frown. “He refuses. The entire scheme was my idea, down to the very verbage used, and yet he still continues to blame Marinette, and refers to her in an uncouth, slanderous manner.  If he continues to insist upon said belligerent name calling I will be taking matters into my own hands and he will find himself contending with my blade.” 

Bruce blinks at the hissed statement. It’s vicious, it’s descriptive, and it wouldn’t be out of place if Talia had said it. The pit of anxiety in his stomach triples. “Against your own brother?” he forces himself to ask, even though he’s pretty sure he knows the answer. 

“I would sell him to Satan for one corn chip,” Damian says, face totally blank, tone serious. Bruce can’t tell if he’s joking or not. “Marinette has done nothing to deserve his name calling. It was a trick, he fell for it, and they lost. He can dislike her.” Damian rolls his eyes and huffs. “Even if I think it is a childish grudge, but the insults will cease or I will make him cease.”

(I swear I'm going to get this damn chapter completed. It's just fighting me. Here's a little something to prove I'm not dead!)

[addictreaderr]

Yeah that sounds like the Wayne boys alright

@batsandbugs

[pandadrake]

Shots fired by the Spider-man sequels.

Was ruminating on how Miles and Miguel are technically both 'Spider-man 2' in their respective universes. Got me thinking about the other Spider-successors in the cast, and also what if they all got matching T-shirts or something.

[mister-eames]

Rules: List the First Line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern!

Tagged by the lovely @lolahardy and the darlingest @strangegeology - thank you both my talented friends!

----

1. Arthur is halfway through a bottle of whisky and smoking his way through a pack of cigarettes when he gets the call.

2. The alarm rouses Dom from his sleep, but it’s Mal's cursing and shifting to silence it that truly wakes him up. 

3. It took a handful of years, but they finally arrived at this moment. 

4. Nash is deeply regretting signing on for this particular job. 

5. “Where are you headed?”

6. It happens at the end of a three-month job.

7. Today is not Arthurs day. 

8. Spiritual.

9. “It’s Arthur. This is the third voicemail I’ve left you this week - can you pick up your damn phone? Or are you too good to take my calls now?"

+ 1 WIP: Barring exceptional opportunities, Eames tries to avoid taking work anywhere within Europe. 

Tagging: @stormofsharpthings @iamanonniemouse @kardashevscale @seleswrites @piratefalls @roosterbox

[the-lorekeeper69]

I 👏 WANT 👏 A 👏 SPOT 👏 REDEMPTION 👏 ARCH 👏

[bomnun]

231010 Kino will be meeting fans at IKEA?

svantaes

[spynorth]

go here and write w/ me in AUs.

[sxmnus]

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • · small starter for @indigodreamed​.

      ❝ no, you’re absolutely doing it wrong. the instructions say you have it backwards         oh my goodness. ❞ 

[thevalicemultiverse]

...Wow. This is like being in a house built by a child using nothing but a hatchet and a picture of a house. It's like a salad recipe written by a corporate lawyer using a phone autocorrect that only knew Excel formulas. It's like someone took a transcript of a couple arguing at IKEA and made random edits until it compiled without errors.

Victor: [spreading his arms sarcastically] Welcome to Aperture! I'm not entirely sure what some of the things you said are, but it all generally felt right.

[batsandbugs]

THE CONTINUATION OF THE IKEA VERSE

Okay, so this isn't quite an actual update yet, but I've been gone for a while and I wanted to let y'all know what's going on.

The last chapter of Classification System has been fighting me. Bruce and Damian's confrontation is important, but, up until now, I had no clue how it needed to go, or wanted it to end. After all, this story never had a planned plot, and was rather more a chaotic amalgamation of vibes that grew legs and dragged me along for the ride. While that worked well for the first story, the second wanted to veer into serious territory, which is maybe why it was fighting me so hard. I have serious stories, but IKEA Verse has never really been one of them.

So I started thinking of a third installment, hoping this inspiration would drive me to find the proper course for how Bruce and Damian's confrontation should unfold. So I put on my thinking cap, and thought, "hmmm... how am I going to bring back the fun and excitement and hilarity of the first installment, while still continuing Damian and Marinette's relationship?"

And my evil brain responded with...

"~Bigger is better, and better is bigger, a little bit is never enough, no, no, no!~"

So, ladies, gents, and others I now present to you the third installment of The IKEA VERSE:

THE GREAT GOTHAM SEWER RACE

CALLING ALL RACERS! Underneath Gotham lay miles of caverns, lava pools, zombie hordes, interdimensional racing tracks, funhouse hallways, a maze full of doors that do not open and lead into a never ending madness, a mysterious banked fog, submerged waterways, ancient temples, and more! Come try your hand at claiming the ultimate prize which lay hidden at the finish line.

If you survive...

Coming 2024!

So... yeah, IKEA Game Verse is getting a third installment. The last chapter of Classification System, should be out sometime within the next month or two, now that I have proper motivation to get it finished. And starting the new year I'll be posting the Great Gotham Sewer Race! Hope this makes up for the months of radio silence (although I have posted a few chapters of my Marvel fic, so I haven't been totally silent).

As always, all comments, suggestions, and ideas are welcome! The bigger and crazier the better and if it's good, there's a high likelihood it'll end up in the story (after all the knowledge of IKEA stores with ball pits was given via comment, and we all know how that panned out.) Think Hanabarbara Wacky Races! If anyone still remembers that show. Tell me who you want to see! ANYONE IN DC is open for consideration, other fandoms are also encouraged (the caverns beneath Gotham are interdimensional and inter-universal!) Tell me if there's any challenge, or obstacle, or event you want to see! I'm open anything and everything.

I hope this sparks excitement for y'all as it has done for me. See you soon!

[witchofthesouls]

Guys, what if the TFP verse didn't have grocery stores and supermarkets?!

If the Cybertronian diet is limited to liquid from crystal Energon, then they would be completely used to a great beast of a combination between Home Depot, IKEA, and Kay Jewelers. Like a build your own customizable personal fuel station or for the department. Maybe there's minor cultivation of different kinds of crystals that act as herbs and spices equivalent. Look at the displays of crystal decor. While it's Energon, the structures are too unstable or deemed unusable for consumption to be sold (different story for the lowest castes trapped in poverty though)

The 'bots are familiar with a job site providing room and board as well as picking up prepared food from restaurants at different price points. But if Team Prime actually looked into the history of agriculture on Earth, the immense scale and absolute variety would shock them speechless. Optimus would fall into a deep tunnel of botanical science versus the culinary arts and how a lot of veggies are basically the same plant that's been curated to enhance very specific features.

There's a new game at the base and road, it's called "Can you eat this?"

(This actually starts a lot of "lively discussions" between the kids because of cultural differences, family histories, and geographic/regional dishes and traditons.)

And if the kids ever needed to do a report on animals or plants or food, then they would receive full marks.

If the 'bots ever get enough fuel to use a holomatter, then the kids would get the delight of seeing:

Teaching Optimus how to select a good watermelon. The man is in deep concentration as he eyes for a "sun spot, a creamy other side, and a good-sounding thump."

June and Ratchet having a hissy and very heated argument over what's inside the shopping cart. The cart fills and empties between them.

Arcee staring down the produce that is and isn't organic, and then trying to figure out the difference between oranges and grapefruits without breaking them open

Bumblebee buzzing around the honey products and sweets to make puns and jokes. He's having a blast in the personal care aisles, especially with the masks and Burt's Bees.

Bulkhead is entranced by the inside Starbucks and the meat department. He's watching the baristas and counter workers deftly move to produce a new thing. He wants to learn to make a sandwich and a Frappuccino for Miko.

[swan-of-sunrise]

Three's Company (A Spellbinding-Verse Interlude)

Summary: A week before Christmas, (Y/N) and Loki help Peter maintain his secret identity and find themselves faced with a surprising addition to their happy duo.

Pairing: Loki X F!Reader

Word Count: 3k

Warnings/Disclaimers: None

A/N: Hi there! Today we've got a little holiday fluff for our favorite newlywed couple, and I'm not even joking when I say that this is pure tooth-rotting fluff lol thank you all so much for reading, I hope that you enjoy! (And happy holidays!!)

Three’s Company December 17th, 2016 Avengers Tower, New York City (Spellbinding Masterlist)

After drilling the last screw into the wall, (Y/N) set the heavy power tool down on an empty shelf and leaned back to admire her handiwork with a proud smile on her face. “There! Now, that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

The door opened and she glanced over her shoulder to see Loki saunter into their new shared suite, an impressed grin spreading across her husband’s handsome face when he spotted her fully assembled bookshelf. “Darling, while it’s commendable that you pieced together this infernal Ikea bookshelf all by yourself, why in all the Nine Realms didn’t you just use your Alf Seidr?”

“Because I wanted the satisfaction of having conquered this stupid piece of furniture with my own bare hands,” (Y/N) confidently answered back, drawing a chuckle from Loki as he moved to stand beside her ladder. “And besides, I lived almost all my life without resorting to magic to solve all of my problems; I hardly think it’d be right to start now, even if it meant spending an entire day assembling this damn bookshelf and missing out on-” At that exact moment, the shelf bearing her clunky electric drill collapsed and set off a chain reaction that saw each shelf fall one by one, the last of them slamming against the ladder’s leg and sending her toppling backwards into her husband’s waiting arms. “…Lunch.”

Taking note of the purple-hued glow beginning to emanate from the palms of (Y/N)’s hands, Loki hummed in sympathy and pressed a comforting kiss onto her furrowed brow. “You’ve lost this battle, darling, but you certainly won’t lose the war. How about I draw you a bubble bath and prepare dinner while you relax for a spell, and then the both of us can conquer the bookshelf after we eat?”

(Y/N) heaved an exasperated sigh but gave him a relenting nod, willing her magic away and giving her husband a thankful kiss before pulling back and flashing him a flirtatious smile. “Or…you could always order some take-out and join me in the bath? My arms are pretty sore, after all, and I might need a little help washing my back.”

“Are you trying to tempt me, darling?” Loki arched an inquiring brow as a mischievous smirk played on his lips, his emerald-green eyes alight with a burning desire that sent shivers of anticipation through her body. “Because if so, you should know that it’s working remarkably well.”

Giggling, (Y/N) looped her arms around his neck and leaned in for a kiss, but a frantic knocking on their suite’s door caused them both to jump as the romantic atmosphere was shattered by the reality of their superhero lives. They exchanged matching looks of regret and once Loki carefully set her onto her feet, they both crossed the room to see who was on the other side of their door; when (Y/N) opened the door, her brows furrowed in concern when the panicked and pale face of Peter Parker was revealed. “Peter? Is something wrong?”

“You look as though you’ve seen a ghost,” Loki observed, throwing (Y/N) a worried glance as he opened the door wider and ushered the teenager into their suite. “You haven’t attempted to prank Romanoff, have you? Because I already warned you once that your young age won’t stop her from seeking swift revenge for whatever scheme you might dare to concoct.”

Peter shook his head as he began to quickly pace across their living room, and it was then that they both spotted the large cardboard box clutched tight in his arms. “No, no, of course not; if the God of Mischief himself warns me not to prank someone, then I’m definitely gonna pay attention.” The teenager carefully set the box down onto their couch and started to unfurl its lid. “I’ve got a pretty big problem that I could really, really use your guys’ help with.”

“Well, I’m sure that we can help you with…” (Y/N)’s reassuring words trailed off when a muffled bark emanated from the box and a moment later, the small black head of an excited dog popped up and gave Peter’s hand a slobbering lick. “A puppy?”

“While I was out on patrol earlier in Queens, I stopped a couple of jerks from jacking my neighbor’s car and beating him up and to thank me, he gave me one of his flat-coated retriever’s new puppies; I can’t keep him, ‘cause Mr. Rodriguez gave him to Spider-Man and if he sees me with this little guy in the apartment building, then he’ll start to suspect who I am and then he’ll tell Aunt May and then?” Peter sighed as he plopped down onto the couch beside the box and scratched the onyx-colored puppy behind his floppy ear. “Then I’ll be toast with a capital ‘T.’”

Taking a seat on the other side of the box, Loki confidently extended his hand out for the puppy to sniff and chuckled to himself when he began to lightly gnaw on his long fingers. “So, what would you like us to do?”

“Well, I texted MJ and she said she’d help me find a good home for him but she’s gonna be out of town for a week to visit her grandparents, so…could he maybe stay here until she gets back? Please?”

(Y/N) bit her lower lip in contemplation, torn between her desire to help the desperate teenager avoid accidentally revealing his secret identity to his aunt and entire apartment building and her uneasiness around dogs of all shapes and sizes; because of her aunt’s meager salary as a music tutor and their strict building manager, she never had a dog while growing up and very rarely had the opportunity to interact with one, leading to a reluctant but life-long wariness of them as a whole. But as she watched her beaming husband lift the puppy out of the box and cradle him in his arms while the puppy’s tail excitedly wagged in response to Peter’s ear scratches, her pursed lips softened into a small smile. “Well, since it’s only for a week…I suppose we can look after him for you.”

“Thank you, Miss (Y/L/N)!” Peter jumped to his feet and flung his arms around her in an overly-enthusiastic bear-hug. “I’ve gotta head home and finish up my Trig homework before Aunt May comes back from grocery shopping, so I’ll see you guys next Saturday!”

After giving a bemused Loki a fist-bump and patting the top of the puppy’s head one last time, Peter dashed out of their suite and used his web shooters to close the door behind him. Her husband shook his head in amusement before looking over at her with a pleased smile spreading across his face. “That was very generous of you, darling; I know that you’re not exactly comfortable around canines.”

(Y/N) shrugged. “Peter needed help, and I still owe him one. Nothing could ever repay him for saving my life, but working to keep his secret identity a secret for a little while longer seems like a good place to start.” A dark shadow crossed Loki’s handsome features as the abrupt reminder of her near-death experience in the wake of the Battle of Boston hung heavy in the air, and she leaned down to press a soothing kiss onto his cheek before moving to sit on the arm of the couch right beside him. “And besides, I was thinking that this might be a good opportunity to rectify my inexperience with dogs.”

“And you just couldn’t turn down this adorable little face,” Loki lifted the puppy so that their faces were side-by-side and playfully pouted, making (Y/N) roll her eyes at his playful teasing. “Could you, my love?”

A reluctant smile began to play on her lips and while her husband grinned in triumph, the puppy let out a joyful bark and licked the entire side of his face, causing his nose to scrunch up in displeasure as she giggled in amusement. “It looks like the God of Mischief has finally met his match!” Throwing caution to the wind, she stretched a hand out and ran her fingers through the thatch of onyx-hued fur around the puppy’s neck, her shoulders relaxing and her smile softening when she saw his tail vigorously wagging in response. “I think we’re all going to get along just fine this week.”

Loki, setting the puppy down onto the ground and wiping the dog slobber off of his cheek with the sleeve of his sweatshirt, chuckled to himself as he gently pulled her onto his lap and wound his arms around her waist. “It’ll certainly be an adventure; if this little one is anything like the hounds that Thor and I grew up around, then you and I won’t be getting much rest for the foreseeable future.”

“But he’s just a little puppy, sweetheart! How much trouble could he possibly cause?”

The sudden clatter of the ladder toppling over onto the ground caused them both to jump in surprise, and (Y/N)’s head whipped around just in time to see the rambunctious puppy speed by and clamp his small jaw onto the hem of their living room curtains. Loki’s emerald-green eyes sparkled with mirth as he glanced over at her, and his voice shook with barely-concealed amusement as he replied, “Oh, I’m sure he’ll come up with an idea or two.”

It was when (Y/N) and Loki were attempting to coax the puppy into letting go of the torn curtains and the puppy decided that it was the perfect time to relieve himself that (Y/N) started to realize that it would be a long, long week.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’m pretty sure I told you that the training bot was just for running your sword drills, Melisandre, not your Alf Seidr,” Tony joked as he yanked the dismembered torso of an Iron Legion droid out of the training room’s wall. “He’s only been rated to handle medieval-style combat; I haven’t figured out how to make him immune to Light Elf magic.”

(Y/N) tossed one of the droid’s legs into the pile of limbs and winced at the harsh sound it made. “Sorry, Tony.”

“What made you go all Cosmic Sorceress on the poor guy, anyhow?” Natasha asked, setting the fire extinguisher down and crossing her arms over her chest as her expression morphed into a look of concern. “Usually you have a pretty good handle on your emotions and your magic during your workouts and drills. Do I have to grab my Widow Bites and go have a little chat with that husband of yours?”

“Don’t worry, it’s not about Loki.” Giving the spy an exasperated smile, (Y/N) flicked her wrist and used her swirling purple-hued magic to repair the damaged wall before them. “It’s about that puppy we’re taking care of as a favor to Peter.”

The billionaire shrugged as he began re-assembling the dismembered droid. “Puppies are hard work; at least he’ll be out of your hair by this time tomorrow and you two’ll have a canine-free Christmas.”

“That’s sort of the problem…” Both Tony and Natasha frowned in confusion and (Y/N) continued. “He’s grown pretty attached to the little guy; he takes him for walks, plays with him for hours, and even cooks him fresh food for every meal. And look, this is what I woke up to this morning,” (Y/N) trailed off as she strode over to the nearest bench to retrieve her cell phone, opening her photo gallery and showing her friends the image on the screen; it showed a sleeping Loki sprawled out beneath their thick bedding, one arm tucked beneath her pillow while the fingers of his free hand were weaved around the onyx-colored fur of the snoring puppy that was curled up close beside him. “They’re adorable together, aren’t they?”

Natasha smiled at the photo. “I never knew that Loki was a dog-guy; I always figured that he’d get along better with cats.”

“Temperamental and aloof? Yeah, that’s our Reindeer Games,” Tony chuckled, tightening the bolts connecting the droid’s head to its neck and throwing (Y/N) an inquisitive look. “Sounds like the solution to your little problem is to adopt the pooch; the doggie gets a loving home with you two and Loki’s heart won’t be broken, so it’s a win-win.”

“Unless…” The spy tilted her head as she absentmindedly fiddled with the end of her long braid. “Do you not like the puppy?”

(Y/N) emphatically shook her head. “I absolutely love the puppy! It’s just that…well, Loki and I are Avengers with close ties to different realms; we never know when we’ll be assigned a mission or how long we’ll be gone from the tower, and we’re always traveling to and from Asgard and Alfheim. Wouldn’t all that combined make for an unstable and pretty lonely life for a dog?”

“If you and Loki were normal people with normal careers, yeah, but like you said, you’re both Avengers. You two’ve got a tower full of friends who’d love nothing more than to dog-sit for you, or do really anything for you, to be honest.” Natasha reached out and slung an arm around (Y/N)’s shoulders as she gave her a reassuring smile. “I promise you right here and now that that dog’ll never be lonely while we’re around.”

“And besides, you two’re pretty set on having kids someday, right?” A grinning Tony shrugged his shoulders in a playful manner. “Seems to me like getting a dog is the best crash-course in parenting to have before a little bundle of joy comes along.”

(Y/N)’s heart warmed in her chest at the helpful words of her friends, her earlier fears and reservations beginning to dissipate as she finally allowed herself to imagine their happy duo expanding into a more chaotic but even happier trio. “Well, in that case…it looks like Loki’s getting an extra Christmas present this year.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On Christmas Eve, after they’d come home from the charity Avengers ice skating party at Rockefeller Center with the knowledge that they raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for a handful of children’s charities, (Y/N) and Loki bundled up in their coziest sweatpants, stockings and ugly Christmas sweaters and lounged on their suite’s couch together, where they basked in the bright glow of their illuminated tree and sipped their hot chocolate as they debated which Christmas movie to watch.

“It appears as though we’ve reached an impasse, darling,” Loki sighed dramatically, his long fingers fiddling with the fuzzy end of his Santa hat as he fought to keep the mischievous smile off his face; parting with the puppy they’d been briefly fostering earlier that day had been a subtle but significant blow to him, so it was nice to see that their evening of ice skating had helped to cheer him up. “It’s between a surprisingly faithful adaptation of Charles Dickens’ timeless tale of the true meaning of Christmas that stars the delightful Muppets, and a film that depicts the many misdemeanors and felonies that an eight-year-old commits after his rather neglectful family leaves him home alone for Christmas.”

“Mm-hmm. Decisions, decisions…” (Y/N) playfully pondered as she tilted her head to the side in faux contemplation, the colorful jingle bells decorating her reindeer antler headband sounding and making her husband’s eyes twinkle in silent amusement. “How about this: we can watch The Muppet Christmas Carol tonight, if…”

Loki arched a curious brow. “If?”

“If…you let me give you one of your Christmas gifts first.” She watched while he considered her offer, silent anticipation bubbling up within her as she continued. “There’s no catch, sweetheart; this is just the sort of gift I’d rather give you in private than in front of the others tomorrow morning.” His emerald-green eyes darkened with an all-too familiar desire and she shot him an exasperated look. “It’s not that sort of gift, Loki Odinson. So, how about it?”

“Well, I do enjoy receiving gifts and since you’re such an excellent gift-giver,” He grinned and shook her outstretched hand. “Then I graciously accept.”

With an excited smile on her face, (Y/N) extricated herself from her husband’s arms and hurried over to retrieve a small wrapped package from beneath their Christmas tree, plopping back down onto the couch and eagerly watching while a bemused Loki worked on opening it; when he removed the lid, he cocked his head and looked up at her with polite curiosity. “It’s…a tiny green sweater?”

“Oh, did I forget to tell you? This gift’s a two-parter!” Raising her hand, (Y/N) summoned her Alf Seidr and flicked her wrist, sending a ball of purple-hued magic across the room and using it to create a crackling portal, beaming as a familiar onyx-colored puppy dashed through and leaped onto a surprised Loki’s lap with a joyful bark. “Merry Christmas, sweetheart.”

“But I thought…? Didn’t Parker come by this morning to take him away?”

Pleased that she’d managed to successfully out-trick the God of Mischief himself, (Y/N) smiled and shrugged her shoulders. “I may or may not have called him yesterday to tell him that we were considering adopting him; after he left, he dropped him off at the lab so that Bruce and J.A.R.V.I.S. could keep an eye on him until tonight.”

Loki’s eyes went wide and filled with an earnest emotion as his long fingers scratched behind the happy puppy’s ears. “My love, I…I-I don’t know what to say. Are you certain about this?”

“Absolutely,” She replied and leaned over to press a sweet kiss onto his smiling lips. “…But I do have one little request, if you don’t mind.”

“Anything, darling.”

“Can we name him Mischief?”

Before Loki could answer, the sound of shredding paper caused them both to look down and they laughed at the sight of the puppy vigorously tearing into the wrinkled wrapping paper. “It would seem as though he’s already decided that for me, doesn’t it?” (Y/N) giggled when Mischief barked and licked the side of her face, and Loki grinned before kissing her forehead and ruffling the onyx fur of Mischief’s fluffy neck. “Welcome to our little family, Mischief.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: See? I wasn't lying about the tooth-rotting fluff lol thank you all so much for reading and commenting! I’ve created a Spotify playlist inspired by this series, and I’ll be updating it every time I upload a new chapter. Enjoy!

Spotify Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2wx8TZwpDN0l33tES3W3Nk?si=5fcb3ef04de544e7

“Spellbinding” Masterlist

Tagging: @nexiva​​​​​​​​​​​ @ravenclawbitch426​​​​​​​​​​​ @cminr​​​​​​​​​ @confusedfandomwriter​​​​​​​​​​​ @momc95​​​​​​​​​​​ @nickkie99​​​​​​​​​​​ @austynparksandpizza​​​​​​​​​​​ @brooke0297​​​​​​​​​​​ @a-laufeyson​​​​​​​​​​​​ @outoftheregular​​​​​​​​​​​​ @itscomplicatedx​​​​​​​​​​​​ @0-artemis​​​​​​​​​​​​ @vivloki​​​​​​​​​​​​ @crowleysqueenofhell​​​​​​​​​​​​ @groovy-lady​​​​​​​​ @mostclevermiss​​​​​​      

[miniscrew-anon]

Miniscrews Masterlist

Yup, I finally got off my ass and put together a list of all my writing so that you guys can find things easier! Yay for lists and learning how to hyperlink! Now you guys can actually find all my stuff if you want (and I have an easy way of finding my old works too lol) The downside of being anon.

AO3 Stories:

You, Me and a Couple Loose Screws - Four is trying to work but Shadow just wants to be a bother, HSH

The Ace Space (is being invaded) - Four manually fixes everyones sex lives, LMTCOY

First Contact - Twilight calls up his uncle to see if he can move in, HSH

What I see my Shadow Sees - Shadow's point of view of HSH1, HSH

Like a House on Fire - Oops the house is burning down and everyone responsible is away, HSH

HSH: The Cold War - The house fights for control of the thermostat, HSH

It’s Something - A FourShadow exploration of their sex lives with an asexual, LMTCOY

180 Rupees Well Spent - The smutty Wartime sex swing fic by popular demand, LMTCOY

Old Car, New Roads - Four and Shadow talk shop, cars and future plans, HSH

Home Sweet Home: Oofs and Ouchies - My Febuwhump 2023 Collection, St0rmyverse

On Display, After Hours - Filthy Twark Smut taking place in an IKEA after hours, LMTCOY

What do you mean love is real? - Four realizes he's AroAce. While dating a bunch of people, HSH

He's Venting (seems kinda sus) - Time discovers Four's artistic hobby and has a bit of a problem with it, HSH

Add to Cart - The boys go furniture shopping and Four is forced to own his own room, HSH

Snippets and Other Things:

Perspective Flip on “You, Me and a Couple Loose Screws”

Ceiling Spider - Who wins: Shadow or a garage spider?

Dead on Revival - Shadow and Dark have a talk over Fours dead body, Count Darkula verse

Daddy Bram Stoker - Shadow and Dark discuss the father of modern vampires, Count Darkula verse

Silly Straws - Four and Shadow having a snack, Count Darkula Verse

A Dark and Shadowy Night - A typical night out for the skrunkly duo

Boys will be Boys - Just dudes being dudes

Ghost Kitchen - Four gets revenge on Wild, Funeral Derangements verse

Sex-Ed (or lack thereof) - A small collection of Hyrule and Four lamenting over the complete lack of safe sex and common sense the other links seem to have, LMTCOY verse

Measuring Stick - The boys have a literal dick measuring contest. As usual, Hyrule and Four suffer

What you find in the Dark - Time has a nightmare and Warriors is there, LMTCOY verse

Like and Subscribe - Yes Dark does and yes he will, LMTCOY Verse

Other Stuff:

HSH Castle Town House Layout - Not a story but a badly drawn house plan that I use when I write my stories.

A Small Exploration of my Blorbo (Four) - A small character analysis based on what I know about him.

These are in no order. I should have put them together based on which verse but I forgot and now I cant move them because hyperlink. oops lol. My life is in shambles.

Please let me know if any of these links are messed up. I am very bad at this and am a little high rn

[spynorth]

@theresastargirl​ canon dialogue s.c

“you’ve always underestimated yourself, Ophelia.”

[thepoisonroom]

hello sorry if you've been asked this recently but could you recommend some good adult trans books 👉👈 no worries if you don't!!

there are lots of good ones and i've fallen out of the loop since i left my bookstore job! there's sometimes this attitude that trans writers can only be successful in some genres but there are great trans writers in lots of genres! so have tried to include a mix of genres here to highlight some of that abundance, and because i don't know what you like so want to include many things that i think might spark your curiosity.

i'm leaving a lot of classics off that i'm sure you've heard of or have been told to read, as well as some stuff i read that i didn't love and don't feel i can vouch for. there's also lots of good stuff for younger readers (have esp heard good things about sisters of dorley hall and when the angels left the old country) which is really heartening when i remember furtively reading the one trans novel for teens at my library when i was little! and i like that there are trans characters for younger readers now who don't have tragic endings. but anyway:

i really like anything by casey plett, particularly her novel little fish! i loved ivan coyote's rebent sinner for kind of autobiographical vignettes as well as gender failure which they wrote with rae spoon. gretchen felker-martin and alison rumfitt are big faves if you like horror, they're both so smart and unsparing. your body is not your body if you want a good taste of lots of different trans horror authors. the seep by chana porter for meditative sci-fi. the fifth wound by aurora mattia which is hard to describe but v gorgeous. paul takes the form of a mortal girl if you want something kind of carefree and horny and fun and not devastating or upsetting. summer fun by jeanne thornton if you've ever been like what if velvet goldmine were based on the beach boys. i like confessions of the fox by jordy rosenberg but i think the ideal audience for this book is like transmasc grad students who are horny in a neurotic way so it's not for everyone. stone fruit by lee lai was my favorite graphic novel of 2022 and it's a really beautiful examination of breakups and caring for children as a queer person and also forgiving your family. gaylord phoenix if you like your graphic novels weird.

books from my own to-read list that i've heard good things about from people i trust (have included author names only where the title alone isn't specific enough to find the right book):

wrath goddess sing (if you like mythology remixes)

a natural history of transition (magical realist short stories)

manywhere: stories (unsettling also magical realist short stories)

chromatic fantasy (graphic novel, trans guy nun has sex with the devil and has a romance with a robin hood-type trans guy bandit)

finna (gay trans multiverse travel in an IKEA)

X by davey davis (bdsm psychological thriller)

idlewild (transmasc fujoshi tumblrinas have a toxic bestieship)

girlfriends by emily zhou (slice of life short stories)

boys weekend (graphic novel, bachelorx weekend turns into a cult murder mystery)

the boy with the bird in his chest (magical realist coming of age)

the call-out (gossipy novel in verse)

nettleblack (victorian transmasc hijinks)

the story of silence (medieval n magical french trans hijinks based on the historical poem)

unfortunate elements of my anatomy (horror short stories)

bad girls by camila sosa villada (magical realist coming of age epic)

apsara engine (south asian graphic vignettes)

future feeling (funny bizarre sci-fi)

everyone on the moon is essential personnel (cyberpunk body horror weirdness)