#the last one is just the best description of Night Vale

[asydicsydney]

"We know nothing of them...yet we hope all humans achieve enough happiness to be able to share it with others."

"People are inherently good, even if they sometimes do bad things."

"The world is better for having humanity."

"He did not understand how something so terrible to see could be so gentle to hear."

"The child was frightened of the unknown. Learning is scary."

"He would have many more misunderstandings, many more selfish exchanges with gentle people who only appeared monstrous."

"His soul needed room for a monster."

"The desert is a place where one can see trillions of miles into the universe, yet still live invisibly."

[just-some-guy-joust]

alright, as requested and promised, my explanations for why everyone on side b got into the tourney

once again making the note that i was desperate for women that weren't blatantly written by a misogynist and it influenced a couple choices

starting with the most argued about characters again

mob (mp100): 1 submission, good description. "he has powers he can't be just some guy!" NOT WHAT THIS TOURNEY IS ABOUT. mob is a kid. he's just a kid doing his best. like the whole plot of mp100 is that he's just some kid isn't it??? i haven't watched it i can't argue the details but he is a very good example of just some guy

rung (transformers): 1 submission, good description. submitter got extra points for being the longest submission and being so sweet to me. rung is like, God, or something but he doesnt Know That so he's just living a perfectly normal life. he's so average people regularly forget who he is or what his name is. from the submission, "He's just the definition of 'some random kind guy you bump into in the hall and then completely forget about two hours later' I really don't know how to explain it."

han solo (star wars): 2 submissions. its like his whole thing. the rest of the team is a princess, a jedi, man i don't know the rest i haven't watched star wars in years but they are all supremely not some guy, and han's just some cunt with a van to drive them around in. yeah he's got his own shit going on but also. i dont remember how it actually went down but he really feels like he just stumbled into the plot and now he can't leave

ok now the rest of the characters under the cut

carol kohl (cateotw): 1 submission, good description. the description really moved me and i have GOT to watch this show at some point. carol lives on an earth that's going to end in a few months and everyone is trying to make their last months exciting and happy and getting to do what they've always wanted to. what carol wants to do is keep working an office job and continuing her routine. the show does not shame her for this, it's just who she is. and man..... as a chronically ill person who's had to think about that kind of thing. that really hits hard.

jaehee (mystic messenger): 1 submission. the woman situation is fucking dire. i will admit she seems to be written the way she is because of misogyny n shit but at least this submitter actually acknowledged it. mystic messenger is i believe a dating game and her route involves dealing with her shitty boss and quitting her job. the other routes have fucking wild shit going on but jaehee just quits work

paul matthews (guy who didnt like musicals): guaranteed entry

emma perkins (guy who didnt like musicals): 3 submissions. one person described her and paul as "guy4guy" and i was so enamored with this concept i gave her a guaranteed position. she works at a coffee shop and seems to not give a fuck that she's in a musical and needs to sing. major "i cant wait to clock out and go home" vibes

su moting (god troubles me): 1 submission. the child of a monster and a god so she was just born a regular human. that's so fucking funny. she has some wild roommates (a "phone god" and a "cat monster") but she's got a normal office job so she's not even around them much on weekdays

satou hiroshi (saiki k): 2 submissions. canonically the most average guy. perfectly average in every way. average grades, weight, height, family, etc etc etc. as average as possible

chilchuck tims (dungeon meshi): guaranteed entry

michelle nguyen (wtnv): 1 submission. i mean. its fucking night vale. that place is fucked. and yet michelle just runs a record shop and loves her girlfriend good for her

tad strange (gravity falls): guaranteed entry

colin robinson (wwdits): 1 submission, personal bias. he's an energy vampire that feeds off peoples energy so he will ramble to them for 6-12 hours about taxes. has a regular office job because what better place to find miserable people to torment. prides himself in his ability to be just some guy

bard (wandersong): 1 submission, friend bias. they're the protagonist of the game but they are not the hero of the story. they're on a quest to save the world but destiny does not care for them. they are trying so hard to bring people joy and that in turn is what makes them actually able to succeed. they are not a hero, but they are a friend

usopp (one piece): 1 submission, friend bias. i will be honest you i avoid one piece at all costs but he gets a pass for my buddy. unfortunately none of the info they gave me actually stuck in my brain so my explanation is gonna suck ass but he seems very scared and very weak compared to everyone else and everyone knows he's the just some guy of the group

nick carraway (great gatsby): 1 submission. i do not remember reading this book for school but idk that seemed like a correct vibe check and i wasn't gonna argue with it

link (oot): 1 submission, personal bias. SCREAMS. WAILS. POUNDS FISTS ON THE FLOOR. I LOVE HIM!!! i am extremely mentally ill about most editions of link being just some guy but i agreed heavily with the submission saying oot is probably the best example. HE'S JUST A KID!!! he thought he would never have to grow up because he was a forest kid too but then he did have to grow up what the fuckk

kazooie (I MADE HIM <3): he is my oc and i love him so fuckign much

connecticut clark (florkofcows): guaranteed entry

samwise (lotr): 1 submission, personal bias. only here because he refused to let his friend have to deal with this alone. its the whole point of the story, that hobbits are the just some guys of the world. that these hobbits were just normal innocent men now trying to end a war. and sam is the most just some guy of the bunch

hitomi (madoka magica): 2 submissions. only one that isnt a magical girl. im sure there's more to it than that but i haven't watched madoka in years and the submissions didn't give me anything else so that's it

junpei iori (persona): 1 submission, friend bias. persona characters can get fucking wild but he seems to be the resident normal dude. and tbh i just can't stop thinking about this part of the submission

tomoya (ensemble stars): 2 submissions, good descriptions. ok so like. ensemble stars has like 50 main characters or something i dont know i dont go here. tomoya is the Only One that's normal. he's just trying to be a teen idol and his defining character trait is that he is tomoya and he is here.

peter sqloint (jrwi): 1 submission. i have listened to a bit of this and while i did have to put it down cause it wasn't really my thing, peter must've made an impression on me because the Only Things i can remember from what i listened to was just how bizarrely normal peter is. yes he has the angel of retribution inside him urging him to kill the gods but his life goal is to buy a new log for his pet lizard and his job is to sort rocks and its his favorite thing. sometimes you have to wonder if peter is even aware of whats going on or if he is too busy thinking about cool rocks to notice

cabbage merchant (atla): 3 submissions. i dont care. but very few characters actually got 3 submissions so i let him in. i was trying to avoid characters that clearly just existed for a bit or are simply background characters with nothing else going on (they count as just some guy but its just not as interesting to me) but he made it in anyways.

marta cabrera (knives out): 1 submission and that submission was ME because im THE ONLY PERSON WHO GETS IT (/silly). i cannot fucking believe no one else submitted her im so fucking mad her being just some guy is literally the entire point. spoilers for knives out, SHE'S A GOOD DOCTOR. SHE'S JUST A GOOD DOCTOR. SHE NEVER DID ANYTHING WRONG!!! she was always just some guy no matter how much everyone else wanted her to be something different. i love her

greg universe (steven universe): 1 submission, good explanation. he's just stevens dad <3 he lives in his van and is an ok musician and he's very content with his life. he's hanging out

mishima (persona): 2 submissions. he's just one of your classmates. this is signifcant because other supporting cast characters have a lot of their own wild shit going on. mishima is your classmate and he's trying to help the phantom thieves look cool on social media. thatse it babey!

gingerbrave (cookie run): 1 submission, good description, personal bias. ok so its a gacha game about cookies that run. gingerbrave is the mascot and the most basic guy you can get. he's a cookie and he runs. and he's very sweet and i like him <3 he loves his friends. anyways google like any other character in the cookie run franchise and you'll understand.

arthur dent (hitchhikers guide): 2 submissions. honestly i don't have strong opinions on him and he's got a fuck ton of propaganda on the post im skipping this

elsen (off): 1 submission, friend bias. i am enamored by how this is like a species of normal guys. they are meant to reflect the struggles of average normal people. they have office jobs and a fuck ton of anxiety so you can see how they reflect that <3

tadano hitohito (komi cant communicate): 2 submissions, good description. HIS NAME LITERALLY TRANSLATES TO "JUST A PERSON" THAT'S FUCKING AWESOME I HAD TO PUT HIM IN

[knee-stockings]

So I’ve been listening to lots of podcasts at work lately to break up the monotony of my office job. Mainly they’re horror, suspense/thriller, drama, that kind of thing. Trying to give ratings without spoilers~

(Check out updated pod recs here)

The Left Right Game (a journalist investigating an urban legend that gets increasingly more dangerous as they go): 5/5, this being one of the first ones I listened to set the bar really high tbh, it was great, immersive sound design, genuinely suspenseful and creepy moments, interesting plot, my only gripe is that I didn’t love the ending but I couldn’t dock a star just for that, highly recommend, maybe I’ll retire to Wintry Bay someday 

Alice Isn’t Dead (delivery trucker goes searching for her believed dead wife, comes across supernatural towns and creatures and a conspiracy that goes way deeper than one missing woman): 5/5, so so good, enjoyed a lot, I loved learning the truth about the Thistle men, still don’t completely understand oracles but that’s okay, some delightfully creepy moments, this will be high on my recommendation list (also it’s by the Welcome to Night Vale people, which I actually haven’t listened to lmao)

Harley Quinn and the Joker: Sound Mind (it’s a Harley Quinn origin story basically): 5/5, very enjoyable, sound design great, plot was fun, I don’t know how accurate this story is to the original Harley Quinn origin story but I liked this a lot

The Burned Photo (two women try to fight a familial curse haunting their bloodlines): 4/5, not bad at all, I thought the sound design was great and immersive but I thought the monster’s voice was a bit goofy idk, the plot wasn’t bad though ofc it was pretty bittersweet and sad in the end, tho I think it was never going to be happy for everyone involved

Blackwood (group of teens investigate the town urban legend and uncover more than they bargained for): I can’t decide…3.5 maybe? It was okay. I didn’t love it or hate it, I’m pretty neutral about it. It was interesting enough

Gaslight (girl goes missing and then reappears to her best friend years later with little explanation): 3/5, feels like there should be another season, wasn’t as dramatic/suspenseful as I thought it would be (maybe that’s my own fault tho, from the description and stuff I thought there would be more to it)

Ice-Cream (teens suspect the friendly neighborhood ice cream man of abducting little kids and uncover a dark secret): 4.5/5, interesting and a lil creepy, there’s something oddly funny about hearing someone scream “fuck you Beelzebub” even in context, sound design is pretty good and voice acting is great, finale was also pretty good but I’m docking half a star bc of that very last bit and bc I said so, overall short n’ sweet, no pun intendo (I’m kinda glad that it’s only the one season and not super long, gives the feeling of not overstaying its welcome. Also in awe that they made it within like a month, gonna go listen to their other podcast Cascadia too)

Cascadia (submarine expedition to uncharted waters, gone wrong, we almost died!?): 5/5, by the Ice-Cream people so I expected great sound design and voice acting and said expectations were met tbh, yes god love the drama, ocean depths are inherently scary to me so this is top tier horror, season one was chef’s kiss beautiful and I heard season 2 is coming so I’ll be waiting eagerly for that

Listening now:

Within the Wires (season 1 is relaxation cassette tapes from another world, season 2 is a guided museum tour I think): also by the WTNV people, interesting so far, the plot that unfolded in the first season was cool to watch as it played out, but also I am so sad. I like it so far

Rabbits (girl goes searching for her friend who disappeared because of this mysterious Rabbits game): feels like a really slow start after a few episodes, I kinda wanna get to more action soon please

Wake of Corrosion (apocalypse where characters are trying to find other survivors and also answers): mild shrug, not sure what to make of it just yet. Only like 2 episodes in so I think I need to give it a bit

Ars Paradoxica (scientist accidentally invents time travel and is thrown back to the 1940s): pretty interesting so far, science is fun 

Spoiler comment for Cascadia under the cut bc it's the one I just finished and I have Thoughts

As much as I enjoyed Cascadia, when I think about the expedition for more than 2 seconds I get confused. Not the whole alien thing, that’s fine, it’s Badger and Maria and their ulterior motives. Why in the world did Badger spend millions of dollars to make a submarine that’s faulty on purpose? And there was so much media coverage around it so the second something went wrong reporters were practically beating him over the head with microphones, so why risk so much bad press? Plus sacrificing three other talented divers who trusted him with their lives??? That’s the most confusing to me. There’s no way Badger foresaw them getting attacked underwater and losing Declan alone, so he must have been fully prepared to lose captain AND crew. Holden said that he saw Badger as a father, and yet he chose Holden to die? He said he handpicked them, so what did Holden, Alia, or Iris ever do to him to deserve being sent on a suicide mission? Doing all this just to get rid of Declan and be with Maria doesn’t feel right. Feels like there should be something more there. Tldr: surely Badger had another reason for conducting the suicide mission, right? Also since season 2 starts with Lila all grown up, a diver just like her father, I wanna know her opinions of her mother and of Badger. Did she learn about her mother’s betrayal? Is Badger still involved in funding deep sea diving or did the FBI take him out of that? Omg who’s the father of her little sibling…I’m so curious…

[accessibleaesthetics]

Remember when I talked about how how I wished there was some image-to-text AI instead just the text-to-image AI? Turns out there is!

This is a screenshot of an image-to-text AI called "clip_prefix_caption," specifically using the model "Coco." And while it's not 100% accurate, it still did a reasonably impressive job with this image. Of course, it kind of makes sense since this photograph is a free-to-use image I pulled off the web, which is almost certainly the kind of stuff this AI was trained on. If we get a type of image very different from what this AI was probably trained on, the results are not nearly as accurate.

But that's okay, Coco isn't designed for Optical Character Recognition (OCR). If you put this same image into An OCR-focused AI program like Image to Text Converter, you'd get:

Night Vale podcast (zioNightValeRadio A mafia guy who has really misunderstood "make it look like an accident" shouting WHOOPSIE every time he fires the gun. 1:06 PM • 2023-02-10 • 72.4K Views 3,487 Likes 776 Retweets 27 Quotes

Still not perfect, but defintely better than "a man is playing a game on the Nintendo Wii."

But what about art? How do these types of things fair with describing art? Since I'm not 100% clear on what (if any) information about the input images are put into a data set for AI to learn from, I did not want to put just any art in here. And if you play with any of these programs, I strongly encourage you not to put anything in there you don't have explicit permission to use for this.

I got specific permission from @animunerdery to use their drawing of Vinsmoke Sanji for some AI tests:

I decide to try a few different models too.

clip_prefix_caption (using coco model): A man wearing a tie and a shirt.

Blip: Caption: a black and white drawing of a man wearing a tie

CLIP Interrogator (using ViT-L model): a man in a shirt and tie smoking a cigarette, sanji, fanart ”, short silver hair, boring, lanky, zero - hour, coal, alp

I should note that the last one, while much more detailed, took a lot longer to generate than the other two.

This is by no means exhaustive. If you take a look at the post this image came from, you will find some even more detailed image-to-text AI outputs.

And this isn't even counting image-to-text AI in less open-source projects. Microsoft Word, for example, generates alt text for almost every image you put in a Word document, assuming you're using the current version. The Accessibility Checker will prompt you to check these though, because their accuracy is iffy at best, especially with images that are very far from what was probably in the data sets Microsoft trained its AI on. You can also contribute to that training data set if you want, because Microsoft gives you the option to "donate" any manually-created alt text you add to an image in your document to their database to improve accuracy. It's a case-by-case opt in though, don't worry.

Some screen readers have built-in image-to-text AI as well. For example, sometimes after reading the alt text on an image (be it properly written alt text or the default word "photo" on every image on a Tumblr post without user-added alt text), the VoiceOver (iOS) screen reader will read an additional description it makes using its text-to-image AI. I can't always get it to do this consistently, but after playing around a bit with a version of the Vinsmoke Sanji image that did not have anything but the default "photo" alt text, I got it to give me this:

Adult. Clothing. Illustrations. One.

Not the most helpful. But this technology is still pretty young, and I think it has a lot of potential if used correctly.

[ray935sworld]

VR's academy of supernatural riders (Part 1: He is not his brother)

Summary: Marc find out Alex is dating Luca. Old memories return that aren't the best (rosquez+post divorce situation)

TW: Mention/ Slight description of depression and suicidal thoughts

The first time Marc found out his younger brother was dating one of the closest persons to the man that nearly destroyed everything he worked his whole life for, broke his heart and left him unwanted and dirty, he didn’t react the way he wanted to. He’s able to distinguish between two person, thank you very much. He’ll admit, he isn’t proud of the way he treated the young Italian, that didn’t commit Rossi’s sins. It was a shock and he failed to hide it.

He used to be his idol, the man he looked up ever since he could understand what said man did. He grew up, watching and adoring him until he was one of his closest friends. Valentino was everything the young Spaniard dreamed to be in between math and Spanish lessons in school, wishing he could skip the childhood, he’ll later want so desperately back. He wanted to be like him and better.

He got his favour, soon after entering the highest class, Their friendship turned sexual quickly. Marc called it love. Maybe he lacked a better word. Maybe it was the naïve thinking of a 20 year old, that not even a racer on a 350mph could leave behind, dreaming of being loved by the star he looked up to. Vale was the one he desperately needs while he wasn’t desired the same way. He loves him and used to give him everything because of this fact. He’s not that gullible teenager pretending to be grown up anymore. He was an adult with experience, aware of the way life and love treats someone.

Marc never truly understood the fallout. In what felt like days he went from hiding from Vale by cuddling against his chest to pressing himself with a heavy breathing against a Motorhome, praying not to be found by Rossi, one of his aggressive fans or companions, fearing the consequences. He learned to get to the track earlier, preferred to join interviews in the last minute to avoid confrontations and took longer ways around the paddock to avoid the spots the Italian would most likely be.

Vale went from looking at him, like he’d kissed the moon and gave the sun her smile to cold glances, as if he wanted him dead. He went from protecting the younger one to accepting the death threat Marc terrified so much. His lover became the man that publicly humiliated him countless time. He made him question himself to the point he almost went insane. He knew the Italian enjoyed it. Maybe that what hurt him the most. His hero enjoyed breaking the spirit of someone barely older than a teenager. That broke the part of him that he thought would never grew up. It broke baby Marc. The man he used to trust with everything was the one that let his supporter terrorize his little brother, the one he would do anything to protect. That broke the adult Marc. And the worst thing? He didn’t understand why. He knew what everyone know. Rossi didn’t accepted Marc’s riding and the way he beat him. But he knew that wasn’t true.

Marc used to get hugged and kissed by Vale as if he was the only thing keeping him alive. And after every win and every podium he heard the same words. “You are so fucking hot on top” When he DNF’d and frustration took over, Vale just smiled and took his face in between his cheeks. “Don’t worry, bambino. You are going to be one of the greatest, beating me easily. No one will remember that you didn’t finished today. So it doesn’t matter” And when he won his first championship at the end of 2013, Vale was there. That night– actually it was 5 am –, his hotel room was filled with heavy breathing and the smell of sex and sweat and alcohol. He felt the naked skin of the older one against his and he was sure the feeling of pure joy and happiness was neither from his new title, nor the orgasm his body was trying to come down from. Vale’s voice, filled with love painted him a picture about their future. They’d train young riders with ambitions. Marc tend to joke he needed their favour to date him, since he was almost sons. They’d get married and spent every day side by side while fighting for titles, trying to beat the other just to be happy their lover archived so much. Vale even suggested that he’d love to retire to adopt and raise a child – most likely two or three – while Marc continued racing. Maybe it was just drunk gibberish, thing he wouldn’t remember after a good few hours of sleep, thought that he had in the blink of the moment, but Marc told himself it wasn’t like that and was thrilled. When he broke the record on his ranch, Vale hugged him and whispered “Make my records yours the same way I already belong to you”

That everything was a lie and took a turn worse than everything he ever imagined caused Marc to be more cautious with him and the Italians in MotoGP. For a long time, he was afraid and actually feared the home grand prix of Rossi. He hated them with a burning passion, the same way he hated press conferences, race weekends, PR obligations and the internet. Somehow everything ended up being about his former lover. Every aspect seemed to haunted by him and he could not escape. No matter how hard he tried and he felt like that was killing him. He even started hating his childhood home, cause all he saw where the way he adored his former idol. It was like he was haunted by the ghost of his own stupidity. He had burned the posters and got ride of the bikes. But he still saw them. He still heard himself saying he wanted to be like the former champion when he visited the dirt tracks his brother and he used to train on.

He wanted to change. He wanted to love the dream he used to have as a child. He wanted to enjoy racing and look forward to the race weekends again. But he didn't know how. He had no idea beside 'Stop it all'. At first those thoughs scared him, replaying the threats he read in his heads. But then he got used to them. They became his follower like a shadow. And it took his last bit of strenght to fight them. He did not know how long he could continue like that. It just got worst until he reached the point of feeling unable to share his thoughts. He couldn't look at his mother and tell her he hated his childroom bedroom. It was too cruel. He couldn't tell his brother he wanted to throw everything away they worked so much for just to disappear to a place not even he could find, because seeing the disaapointment and sadness in his younger brother eyes caused by him was something he simply couldn't handle. He looked at his father, unable to say that he wanted to fall asleep and never wake up again.

In his mind he was questioning whehter a cruel accident ending his career wouldn't just be the best option. Every weekend he was close to jumping of his bike or make a small mistake, one that no one would recognize so he'd crash deliberately.

He hated himself for those thoughts. He hated himself for even thinking about putting his family, his team and his friends through this. He considered telling Dani about his thoughts, knowing the little Samurai would put his health first and make sure he wouldn’t be allowed on a bike. But he couldn’t put Dani in that place. Dani was like an older brother to him. He took him under his wings when he was young and continued to take care of him. If Dani knew that he would or would risk killing himself just to get away from Rossi and everything around it, he could course him guilt for a life time. If Dani was unable to prevent Marc from getting on a bike, if he crashed, the Spaniard would be haunted for the rest of his life, unsure whether the accident was real or an attempted from Marc. Any mistake would be seen as purpose. He couldn’t do that to the man that helped him stay away from Vale. The man that hugged him when he cried and tried to cheer him up and see good in the bad situations.

A lot of alcohol loosened his tongue after a while and he opened up to a certain former Ducati rider. It took Casey Stoner introducing him to anxiety and a serious, deep talk about mental health after too many drinks and nasty italian comments to realize he couldn’t deal with it alone. Casey promised him not to tell anyone and he promised him to never attempt. They kept their promise, making the Australian the only person to know his thought and the one that got him the help he needed. After all, Vale had taken a lot from the Marquez family. Marc couldn’t let him take their son, their brother, their grandson as well. He wouldn’t let them bury him. The fact that the older rider spoke up about Rossi’s behaviour, backed up with the experience of Jorge Lorenzo and Dani Pedrosa, and that he addressed the missing action against aggressive fans, made him feel better. Fans showed that they were unaware about those actions. But after all, it was still Valentino Rossi and it was forgotten, buried inside the internet, for future fans to find.

Suddenly seeing the younger brother of said man whose eyes looked so much like his, who was so similar to his brother in many points on top of his baby brother, his lips on his neck and his hands under his shorts, probably boxers as well, like the older Italian used to do to him, pushed his mind racing faster than his bike.

For a moment he forgot finding a letter written by an 18-year-old Luca Marini after Sepang in which he apologised for his brothers statement. It was one of many. He read them. He kept them. Then he burnt them, wanting to close that chapter of his life. He originally kept them, thinking that if a teenager could see the wrongs in the action, a 34 year old would easily recognize his mistakes. He imagined showing them to Vale, once he was his Vale again, laughing with him, how Luca would maybe always be the more mature one. But he didn’t. He never did.

But now he couldn’t see the boy that once stood in front of his motorhome, congratulating him after his championships. Each year it was just a short talk, barely more than 2 minutes. His congratulations were honest and polite. Marc respected him for it. He knew the young Italian wasn’t mean. There’s no way Vale would or even could use this brief moment of light conversations for his advantage.

He could only guess how much strength it took Luca to do something that went so clearly against his hero-brother’s ways. He had met the younger one a few times while still being on good terms with the older brother. It was clear that Luca respected and loved Vale, not because of championships or wins or any kind of success, just because Vale was Vale, his older brother, the boy he had looked up to since he was a kid, unable to understand racing.

And Marc understood. Not just that but it was an open secret which power Rossi hold in the paddock, especially against his own rider. If he wanted he could destroy any of the academy riders, make them forgotten and left behind. Luca wasn’t an exception. Therefore he respected Luca for going against his personal hero by congratulating him year after year.

This boy disappeared in his mind. This was about his baby brother. The fear that the fact that the man kissing Alex was Valentino’s own baby brother crept in his mind like a snake sneaking in a bush in the middle of Australia. All he could think about was that the shared blood would mean he could act similar to the older Italian. The fear of manipulation was back in his head like it was 2016 again. All his progress vanished like Vales hopes for the 10th title.

He knew their relationship should not define who Luca was, like him being Alex older brother said nothing about Alex. But this was about Alex. This was about his baby brother, the boy he took care of since he was born. The boy he remembers holding for the first time at just 3 years old. It was his earliest memory. He couldn’t remember a life without him.

He couldn’t risk him getting hurt like he was. He spent too many nights crying his eyes out in some crappy motorhome. He faked too many smiles for his mother and spent too much time, smoothing his father’s hate to let that happen. He couldn’t put his baby brother at risk of switching places in those scenarios. He couldn’t let Luca prove him wrong, that after all those years, he was as entitled and cold as his older brother.

He was about to say something – scream, yell, curse, grab Luca by the neck and throw him on the ground to break his nose while hitting him - when his brothers moaned. It was a weird sound, he never wanted to hear, but then the whole situation got worst. Alex eyes opened, his hand buried in Lucas short hair. His glance was fixed on the younger one in front. Until he catch sight of the shadow near the door. His eyes wandered towards him. Alex looked at him. For a second, the brothers just stared at them, too afraid, hoping the other would just disappear in a shadow of fear. But neither of them did, obviously.

He saw the horror, the fear written in the young eyes of his brother, like he saw in his own countless time and it triggered his fears even more. They looked so similar, it was scary. The shock in Alex eyes mirrored the pain he had to endure by his own, now former Italian lover. His brother looked at him like he used to feel.

Alex voice pitched up when he screamed “Marc!”, his hands on his lover, pushing him up, but the Italian was already reacting accordingly. He sat up and turned around, his face white, his eyes wide. He knew they were caught. It was impossible to deny their action. It didn’t get any better when the angriest voice he had ever heard from Marc broke the silence.

“Get the fuck away from my baby brother!” He yelled, suddenly having found his voice and confidence again after meeting those blue eyes, he knew too well for his own liking. He took a few steps towards him, ready to do whatever to safe Alex.

To his surprise, Luca stood up and did exactly what he was told. He stepped on the side of the couche, where Alex was still lying, frozen on spot about the situation. “Marc” he said with a neutral voice, raising his hands, as if to show he was unarmed. “I- I know what this looks like. Please, let us-“ “So your fucking hand wasn’t on my baby brother’s cock and your lips were not sucking on his throat like a god damn vampire?!”

Alex couldn’t help biting his lip, a nervous habit, but seeing his brother fuming at his lover made him shiver. He loved both of them. He didn’t want them to fight. He wanted them to get along. He wanted his happy dream come true. Maybe he was being selfish but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. He wanted a family that included Marc, his parents and Luca.

“I’m not the vampire” Luca couldn’t help himself not saying that, as if that was important. But he could hold back his smirk. Fortunately. He was sure they would have found his balls outside on am pole if he didn’t. And explaining why he was the wrong academy rider would definitely not help his case. So he quickly continued. “And I don’t-“

“You wanna tell me you weren’t about to corrupt him?!” At least Luca wanted to try and explain himself, but Marc was livid. He needed to change strategy. “Marc-“ “He’s a fucking baby, Marini!” “Marc, I’m older than him” Alex said, trying to de-escalate the situation. “He-“ “You’re on break! I want to talk to that bastard! Come on, Mr. Baby Rossi, tell me!” Luca froze.

The angry Spaniard crossed his arms in front of his chest. His voice filled with hatred, he learned was a good defence. “Does he knows? Did he tell you, you should fuck my brother like he did with me? Repeat his sick play once more? Is that his go to psychology?” He saw the colour leaving Lucas face and with it the calm and collected look “NO!” He hurried to say, looking desperate to be believed. “No! Marc, I- I love Alex. I- I really do. I love him so fucking much, it’s- “Don’t you fucking dare lie to me right now, Marini or I’ll sent your dick with a beautiful little orange bow in a little package back to that stupid fucking ranch of yours!”

“Marc, Vale has no idea.” Luca insisted, his voice stern. He left no doubt about his words. “I swear, I didn’t say a word. No one knows, beside Franky, Bez and Pecco. I grew up with them. They are my brothers, my family and I love them. And I trust them with my life.” Marc looked quickly at Alex, trying to read whether he knew but he just stared at Luca, who wasn’t finished convincing him. “Ask them! They’ll tell you that I am honestly, stupidly and completely in love with Alex. I love him. I really do. And I am terrified of telling my brother because I’m not ready to lose him because I know I’d chose Alex over him. Without hesitation! I’ll tell him right now on the phone if that makes you believe me”

“Wait what?” “Really?” The two brothers said at the same time. Alex looked at his boyfriend who turned to him and smiled at him in a way Marc has only ever saw his father smile at his mother. He was tend to believe him and comparing him to Vale seemed unfair now that his mind calmed down again.

The smiles between them was still lingering. It was the kind of smile he told Alex to chase until he found it. It was filled with love and caring and kindness, as if hate and spite didn’t exist and would therefore never be able to touch those two. That was the look of someone that found the love of his life. And when he saw the way Luca smiled back, completely forgetting his existence, he remembered that Vale used to look at him the same way. Then he had hide his glance behind walls and fake smiles, forced politeness until he had ultimately killed it with his heartbreaking accusations, on track, off track and especially in private. But Luca still looked at Alex that way. Maybe he would always look like that. Maybe he would not. But maybe everyone could stop looking at his lover like that.

Marc couldn’t put a higher risk against Luca just because his older brother did. He knew that. So he decided to give that Italian a chance, for his brothers sake. His instincts told him, he didn’t had to fear that the brothers had this in comment. Luca was in many points similar to Vale, but that didn’t include the way they treated people. His stomach told him the need to be careful with this one, was low, nearly none existing.

Of course, he would still watch out and make sure Alex was safe but maybe, just maybe he could trust him. With that thought he nodded and said “Alex and I planned to order pizza… It’s an old post-race tradition. I’d be happy if you join us” It was such an abrupt change that even the younger Spaniard was surprised. He was shell shocked actually. This was exactly what he wanted since Luca and he started dating a few month again, not including the years of having a crush on him.

“I-I’d love to” Luca answered fast, still surprised about the sudden change. “Okay” Marc said and even offered him a small smile that could include a hench of truth. He turned around, ready to leave, before turning around once more. He immediately noticed that Alex took the chance to sneak up to his lover. He had taken his arm, seemingly to drag him down, back in his arms and Marc couldn’t help but smile. “I… I will literally kill you, if you hurt my brother” he said.

He didn’t want him to promise it, afraid he’d break it anyway, like his brother did. It was his own way to make sure Luca couldn’t disappoint him. Maybe it was cruel, but he couldn’t not do it. He left, leaving Luca and Alex a little confused and overwhelmed. They continued innocently cuddling, both lost in thoughts before they felt able to address the events that so suddenly happened in front of them.

Marc on the other hand, had a mission. Pecco and Bez were too young and stubborn. They weren’t of use for his purpose. So he went and soon found Franky. He quickly explained that he was now aware of the situation and asked him what Luca had said about his brother. The half Brazilian smiled at him. It was a true and honest grin. And when he begin to explain how his almost brother was desperately in. He shared stories about the Italian that surely did make him seem stupid. And he loved it.

He wanted that the person that was with his brother treated Alex right and was crazy about him, in the best possible way. Luca was that person.

[stainedglassthreads]

Got any Flowey or Toriel fic recommendations?

So funny story, back when I was REALLY into Undertale fics, I was mostly into Sans AU stuff, I will admit, and now I mostly read and write a lot of original fiction. But that doesn't mean I have no recommendations!

Just last night I hurried up finishing and posting a fic I'd been meaning to write for a while now, just for you, anon. I've been wanting to write a fic series about my headcanons for Asgore and Toriel pre-story and Post-Pacifist for a long while now, and I finally posted the first one, For That New Future. In which Asgore and Toriel discussion depression, denial, and how it's probably for the best that they didn't get back together.

I've also had Alphys and the Queen on my to-read list for a while now. Description is as follows:

Neutral ending time, folks! Queen Toriel has returned to rule, but things are never smooth for a new ruler, especially when times are grim. Conflicting ideologies threaten to tear apart the Underground... and at the heart of it sits the royal scientist, staggering under the weight of her secrets.

As for Flowey suggestions, may I plug myself one last time and suggest the latest chapter of my Undertale/Night Vale crossover fic, Welcome to Night Tale. Said chapter, 'A Story About Him,' is about Chara and Flowey trying to find peace and closure with their new living situations.

I also reached out to Certified Flowey Expert @sukifoof for recs, and they mentioned Never Had A Chance To Bloom. Description is as follows:

You know that your family misses the old Asriel. That's as obvious as the sun in the sky. But the boy you were died long ago, and you can't feel anything now, no matter how hard everyone tries to heal you. Therapy can't fix a missing soul. You're going to make sure that everyone understands that eventually.

The reality, of course, is never what you expect.

Happy reading!

[agerefandom]

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Fandoms I Write For The Adventure Zone (Balance/Amnesty) American Horror Story (seasons: house & asylum) Avatar: The Last Airbender Be More Chill (musical) Boku No Hero Academia/My Hero Academia (Seasons 1-4) Calvin and Hobbes Check Please! Critical Role (campaign 2: episodes 1-82, campaign 3: episodes 1-3) Death Note Deltarune Disney movies Doctor Who (9-13, some companions I know better than others) Glee Good Omens Gravity Falls Hamilton Hannibal Harry Potter Homestuck (original only) Hazbin Hotel (but not Helluva Boss) Heathers (movie/musical) The Magnus Archives (season 1-4) Marvel Cinematic Universe (pre-Infinity War era) The Mechanisms Les Misérables (book/musical) Night In The Woods Phantom of the Opera Rick and Morty (main family cast and Pocket Mortys only) Sandman Comics Sherlock (BBC, Robert Downey Jr, and originals) Skulduggery Pleasant Star Trek (Original Series/2009 reboot) Star Wars (episode I-IX) Steven Universe (haven’t watched Future) Supernatural (seasons 1-9) Twilight Undertale (includes horrortale, underfell, underswap, and swapfell, no other AUs) Welcome To Night Vale (episodes 1-100) The X-Files (seasons 1-4) X-Men (movies)

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[littlebetesofeverything]

Welcome to Night Vale ep 4

Okay, time for a longer lunch break since I have plans to study tonight instead of right now. (shout out to my friend suggesting one more lab walkthrough before they close it) Fun times for this one since I remember Cecil's job/life was in danger at the end of last episode. Here we go!

PTA meeting ends in bloodshed? seems normal to me. the dinosaurs, not so much. The description here is amazing tbh. Did he say roach-spiders? god help me. Call out NYT Cecil. Is it really free when included in cost?

election season sounds fun for the kidnapped family members. Who doesn't love an abandoned mine shaft vacation? Wait, they get HBO, this is a high-end kidnapping.

Front-page ads sounds like a good idea. wow, daily writers were let go, so they are crowd-sourcing news lol. Is there anything that hasn't been blown up in this town? seems like insurance companies have fun here.

PTA update: the swingset was left open. and there is one dinosaur left to capture, FREE PET! Aging several thousand years is the best cheat for getting a senior discount. And really who isn't insane at this point?

How do you put adults in detention?

Humming and green light? sounds like a Disney villain. Oh wait, plutonium. Actually that probably tracks, the plutonium I mean.

Carlos is beautiful depsite his shorn locks. That sounds like he had a bad phone call. Lavender chewing gum? you do you Cecil.

Dino update: secret police updated the type of dinosaurs they were reporting. Gotta be accurate on the news. 38 deaths? wtf Cecil

ah high school football and small-town rivalry, good memories. I remembered next year is my 10-year anniversary. overdue library books lead to court ordered hand removal.

apartment etiquette is important people. Let it go, let it gooo. Oozing is bad, lights are acceptable. good to know.

mysterious hooded stranger sounds like a great guest, Cecil. thank you for the gender description too for the radio. Honestly, the static is soothing for me.

Weather break!

The missing pterodactyl going to an AU night vale sounds intriguing, can I go? glad they can reschedule the meeting for backpacks causing autism. :/

all species and geological eras can't enter the dog park.

Can i learn about morse code for trumpet quintets? please and thank you.

I feel like I need to keep a counter for just the hardest lines. Maybe another day.

Again, I just love this so much. A great idea for this spooky season.

[kevin--of-desert-bluffs]

WTNV Quick Rundown - 25 - One Year Later

This episode marks a year since the debut of WTNV. So let's see if it's got any lore, facts or quotes of interest!

Today's opening mirrors the Pilot's, which is also touching.

The quote 'mostly void, partially stars' debuts (comes from?) here. It is related to Jeremy Godfrey sadly looking out of a window on his ruined 50th birthday at the DGBAandAFC (so...long...). It's ruined because it seems the people from under lane 5 are finally on the attack.

Carlos has decided to get to the bottom of things whilst everyone else over-reacts. Cecil really heaps on the descriptions of Carlos as perfect here, especially remarking that his hair has been 'fixed' by time. He is extremely worried about Carlos and attempts to ground himself by reminding himself that Carlos 'will' attend the ceremony he invited Carlos to in order to celebrate Carlos' first year in NV.

Carlos discovers and announces, quite triumphantly, that the city is not a huge city hundreds of miles below NV, but a tiny city about 10 feet below NV that has spent a year making spires towards the upper world which (when stood in the pit) only come up to Carlos' knees.

Carlos is then attacked by the residents of the little city, who are able to draw blood and cause him to fall. Cecil, extremely distraught, goes to a pre-recorded message (which mentions the house that doesn't exist and how scientists are offering $5 to anyone who will go up and ring the doorbell) after cursing everyone and everything for letting Carlos die. Carlos is however, fine, rescued by the Apache Tracker. He is mortally wounded doing so and dies in this episode. Cecil remarks that he is still a racist and a jerk but also a good man with NV's interests at heart. His dying words (in Russian) are "It's ok. It's ok. I knew this would happen. You can have my car."

Teddy Williams is a licenced doctor.

Carlos asks Cecil to meet him outside of Arby's. Cecil cuts to the weather to do this, which must have lasted a long time for him to go there and get back. Carlos is there in a flannel shirt and jeans, sitting on the hood of his car. He muses about how he's coming to understand NV more and how he just wanted to see Cecil. Carlos puts his hand on Cecil's knee (to communicate his affectionate feelings) and Cecil rests his head on Carlos' shoulder.

Weather: "Sunday Morning Stasis" by Joseph Fink

Cecil may have the ability to teleport, as he manages to get into the locked house of Becky Canterbury to interview her about an airliner which briefly appeared in her hallway whilst she was taking a shower and may or may not be the same one which appeared in the gym before, mere seconds after the event happened (this freaks her out considerably).

The local chapter of the NRA has begun market testing some possible new slogans. These include: “Guns don't kill people. Blood loss and organ damage does.” “Guns don't kill people. People kill guns.” “A list of things that kill people: 1. Conceivably anything. 2. Not guns.” “Guns don't kill people. We are all immortal souls living temporarily in shelters of earth and meat.” and “If you say guns kill people one more time I will shoot you with a gun and you will, coincidentally, die.” To vote on the new slogan, simply fire a gun at the object or person that best represents your choice. (fun fact, some of these are/were available as bumper stickers at the store!)

'All children in Night Vale are missing this week, so there’s no current safety issues. Hope we find them!' (lmfao)

'We understand the lights. We understand the lights above the Arby’s. We understand so much. But the sky behind those lights, mostly void, partially stars, that sky reminds us: we don’t understand even more.' (often quoted and very sweet) He then signs off as usual.

[squirrelwithatophat]

Now that I think about it, Kirkwall is basically the Night Vale of Thedas.

You’ve got the scary Orwellian government with its death squads and mind-wiping, the Eldritch abominations from another dimension, the incompetent cops who engage in plenty of police brutality while never seeming to solve any real crimes, the cultists and bizarre rituals, plenty of hooded figures, real conspiracies, and everyone living there pretty much becoming Conditioned to Accept Horror within a few weeks or so of arrival.

You can swap out only a couple of words from WTNV quotes and basically get accurate descriptions of Kirkwall.

How the authorities deal with the continuous crime wave:

The Sheriff’s Secret Police City Guard are asking the public’s help in catching a dangerous fugitive on the loose in the greater Night Vale Kirkwall area. They say he is armed, and should be approached with extreme caution. For everyone’s protection, they are keeping the name and description of the fugitive secret, but indicate that all strangers should be mistrusted and avoided, as well as friends and loved ones because how well do you know those people anyway? Are you aware of their location every second of every day? Who among us does not have secrets? The fugitive is wanted dead or alive, and vigilante justice is, as always, highly encouraged.

Orsino and Meredith arguing during The Last Straw:

Representatives from local Civil Rights organizations have protested that officers had no legal grounds to search the vehicle Circle tower, but they ceded the point when reminded by Secret Police Templar officials that our backwards court system will uphold any old authoritarian rule made up on the fly by unsupervised gun- sword-carrying thugs of a shadow government.

Elthina talking about why mages are locked in the Gallows is pretty much like:

But don’t let the name fool you, listeners. It’s been used for years for so many kidnappings and illegal detentions, that the abandoned mine shaft ‘slave dungeon’ outside of town is actually a pretty nice location these days… Also, torture cubicles.

Cullen on why he supports Meredith:

She has been controversial, to be sure, but she is our leader. Our parent. She cares very much about us, Night Vale, and when she jails or tortures someone without just cause or due process, it is because she loves this town so much.

How the Chantry deals with Kirkwall’s poverty problem:

Try not to be in a lower economic class, and give regularly to an approved religious organization.

Varric, every day, probably:

Let's not dwell on our corpse-strewn past. Let's celebrate our corpse-strewn future.

Hawke, after another night of vigilante killing, probably:

“Do we sometimes catch the wrong guy?” said Vincent Hawke. “Sure. Most of the time. We’re not sure we’ve ever caught a guilty one. Usually we just grab the first person we see. One time we tried to arrest the dead body, but it got away.”

After killing everyone in Night Terrors:

The good news is that none of those we lost today are technically dead.

What it’s like living in Kirkwall in general:

Well, I think we’re all both proud and terrified most of the time, and that’s because we live in the best city-state town in this county, in this state, and in this nation. That’s where the pride comes from. The terrified part is because life is terrifying. It just is.

I can’t be the only one who sees the resemblance, can I?

[cappymightwrite]

So I’ve just read your meta on the TWOW Alayne I sample chapter (it’s amazing btw!) and I noticed something while reading it that I wanted to share and see if anybody else has noticed - nearly every man Alayne dances with during the feast could be taken as a reference to Jon or the Night’s Watch.

Ben Coldwater -> Snow is, obviously, cold water, and Ben is a sneaky Benjen reference

Andrew Tollett -> most likely related to Dolorous Edd Tollett, Jon’s old steward and good friend

Ser Byron the Beautiful -> GRRM has described Jon as a Byronic hero

Ser Morgarth and Ser Shadrich the Mad Mouse -> these men are more dubious, I’m not really sure of the link with Morgarth. Shadrich is a callback from Brienne’s AFFC plot though, and a sign that Sansa’s cover isn’t as secure as she and Littlefinger think it is

Ser Albar Royce - a reference to Waymar Royce, he of the many Jon parallels and Sansa’s old crush, though she finds his cousin(?) stout and dull

The Sunderlands - their family are the lords of the Three Sisters. In ADWD, Davos is told a story on Sweetsister about Ned having to sneak across the Bite during Robert’s Rebellion, to get North and call his banners. A fisherman helped him but drowned when a storm caught their boat - but his daughter got Ned safely to the Sisters. The prevailing story on the islands seems to be that he left her with a bag of silver and a bastard in her belly, whom she named after Jon Arryn

Uther Shett - I was half-convinced this guy also had a relative on the wall, because his name (insulting pun aside) seems to be a reference to Chett, the prologue POV of ASOS who had a grudge against Jon for losing him his position as one of Maester Aemon’s stewards in favour of Sam

Ser Targon the Halfwild - Jon will likely be half-wild when he comes back from the dead, but he’s already been described as ‘half a wildling’ multiple times. Also Targon = Targ-Jon?

Ser Roland and Ser Wallace Waynwood - both are described earlier in the chapter as long-faced with brown hair, which are also Stark features. Alayne thinks of them as “horsefaced”, probably an Arya reference that also calls back to her and Jon’s shared Stark look. Wallace is even the same age as Robb, and thus Jon, would be.

So though Jon wasn’t mentioned by name in the chapter, I think he was very present... not just lemoncake-wise ;)

Thank you! :D Haha for a moment there I was like...wait which meta? Had to take my mind back for a sec there because I've written quite a bit since then! But yeah, doing deep dives into certain chapters is really fun — my next one that's in the works is Jon XI in A Dance With Dragons. Great to hear you enjoyed my Winds one :)

Ooooh that is really interesting and a mighty fine catch! Definitely the vibe I got whilst reading that chapter, after having analysed Alayne II, AFFC (which chronologically precedes it), is that Jon's presence or references to him are made subtly throughout the chapter(s) — especially whenever Winterfell is alluded to because Jon is the "Snow of Wintefell", the "blood of Winterfell", etc. But also vice versa, Sansa is very much connected to Winterfell in Jon's chapters as well — "Winterfell belongs to my sister, Sansa."

But let's take a look at those names you listed below the cut! Big post ahead, so buckle up kids!

So, I hadn't noticed the significance of those names on my reading, but I can well believe what you're suggesting because it plays very much into how I interpreted the subconscious goings on of that chapter — that you have these rememberances/reminders of Winterfell and Sansa's Stark idenity at crucial moments within the chapter’s narrative pacing, especially prior to moments with Harry the Heir. Not to sound too crass, but it's sort like a marking of territory, and this is made even stronger by that goddamn phallic as hell Giant's Lance lemoncake (aka Jon's peen). It's all quite neatly buried, but when you start matching up the imagery...I mean, I guess wolves are territorial beasts, so...checks out? (George...why are you like this?)

It is interesting that we get that iconic entrance of the Giant's Lance lemoncake prior to these dance partners, i.e. a claim has been staked essentially, and it ain't from Littlefinger, which is what could be interpreted on first inspection. And let's not beat around the bush, as uncomfortable as it is (because Sansa is ONLY 13/14!!), this is a sexual claim being made owing to the phallic symbolism and the general tone of the chapter being about Alayne's betrothal/marriage:

And best of all, Lord Nestor’s cooks prepared a splendid subtlety, a lemon cake in the shape of the Giant’s Lance, twelve feet tall and adorned with an Eyrie made of sugar.

For me, Alayne thought, as they wheeled it out.

I legit just snorted re-reading this: "splendid subtlety" MY ASS! What follows is a whole lot of gift-giving, which come to think of it, in combination with this bloody big cake...well, it reads quite a bit like a wedding breakfast to me, followed by dancing, in addition to a possible nod to a Stark bridal cloak, masked by the Arryn colours:

There were gifts as well, splendid gifts. Each of the competitors received a cloak of cloth-of-silver and a lapis brooch in the shape of a pair of falcon’s wings. Fine steel daggers were given to the brothers, fathers, and friends who had come to watch them tilt. For their mothers, sisters, and ladies fair there were bolts of silk and Myrish lace.

Because if we compare this "cloak of cloth-of-silver" with previous descriptions of Sansa's maiden cloak, we see this obvious recurring inclusion of either silver or grey as one of the Stark colours:

Cersei Lannister ignored the question. "The cloak," she commanded, and the women brought it out: a long cloak of white velvet heavy with pearls. A fierce direwolf was embroidered upon it in silver thread. Sansa looked at it with sudden dread. "Your father's colors," said Cersei, as they fastened it about her neck with a slender silver chain.

A maiden's cloak. Sansa's hand went to her throat. She would have torn the thing away if she had dared. – ASOS, Sansa III

"[...] and when they come together for his wedding, and you come out with your long auburn hair, clad in a maiden's cloak of white and grey with a direwolf emblazoned on the back...why, every knight in the Vale will pledge his sword to win you back your birthright [...]" – AFFC, Alayne II

This is all very in keeping with the theme of the chapter, which is meeting Alayne's betrothed, Harrold Hardyng, so obviously a future marriage/alliance is very much a prevalent theme here. Furthermore, the mention of "Myrish lace" for the "ladies fair" does somewhat remind me of Alys Karstark's wedding garb:

The girl smiled in a way that reminded Jon so much of his little sister that it almost broke his heart. "Let him be scared of me." The snowflakes were melting on her cheeks, but her hair was wrapped in a swirl of lace that Satin had found somewhere, and the snow had begun to collect there, giving her a frosty crown. Her cheeks were flushed and red, and her eyes sparkled.

"Winter's lady." Jon squeezed her hand. – ADWD, Jon X

I think some other people have mentioned before how even though Jon makes a conscious comparison between Arya and Alys — "reminded Jon so much of his little sister" — the romanticised, flushed cheeked imagery very much points towards a subconsious allusion to Sansa (ETA: anyone spoken on this got a link?). With that in mind, we could see this as foreshadowing of not only Jonsa, but a Jonsa wedding, and Sansa as Queen in the North — "a frosty crown" "Winter's lady" — with Jon as her king/consort. In my current Jon chapter analysis I've been working with the idea that actually as soon as Jon starts romanticising a girl, which is notably different from just noticing someone's physical beauty (e.g. with Val), that is when the subconscious comparisons to Sansa really jump out.

But anyway! Onto those names...or rather, Jon Snow stand-ins.

Rising, [Ben Coldwater] offered Alayne his hand. “Would you honor me with this dance, my lady?”

“You’re very kind,” she said, as he led her to the floor.

He was her first partner of the evening, but far from the last. Just as Petyr had promised, the young knights flocked around her, vying for her favor. After Ben came Andrew Tollett, handsome Ser Byron, red-nosed Ser Morgarth, and Ser Shadrich the Mad Mouse. Then Ser Albar Royce, Myranda’s stout dull brother and Lord Nestor’s heir. She danced with all three Sunderlands, none of whom had webs between their fingers, though she could not vouch for their toes. Uther Shett appeared to pay her slimy compliments as he trod upon her feet, but Ser Targon the Halfwild proved to be the soul of courtesy. After that Ser Roland Waynwood swept her up and made her laugh with mocking comments about half the other knights in the hall. His uncle Wallace took a turn as well and tried to do the same, but the words would not come. Alayne finally took pity on him and began to chatter happily, to spare him the embarrassment. When the dance was done she excused herself, and went back to her place to have a drink of wine.

And there he stood, Harry the Heir himself; tall, handsome, scowling. “Lady Alayne. May I partner you in this dance?”

She considered for a moment. “No. I don’t think so.”

If I've counted that right, that's 14 men? Alright, here we go.

First up...Ben Coldwater

I think you're right that Ben Coldwater feels very much like a nod to Ben-jen Stark, who is referred to as Ben a few times I think, and Jon Snow (cold water = snow), both men of the Night's Watch. House Coldwater also traces its lineage back to the First Men, and are sworn to House Royce, who are also notably descended from the First Men, have previously married into the Stark family and still maintain close connections to the current house through Ned's fosterage in the Vale. So, through the Royces, we see another possible connection to the Starks and Jon Snow...Jon Snow who was named after Jon Arryn.

I would also add that we have Ben make this inquiry prior to his dance with Alayne:

“Are there no singers?” asked Ben Coldwater.

I don't know, maybe I'm reaching but...singers feature quite a lot in connection to Jon, for instance:

Mance Rayder, who infiltrates Winterfell disguised as a singer called Abel, an anagram of Bael, aka Bael the Bard;

Bael the Bard and the Blue Rose of Winterfell — a story told to Jon by Ygritte, which very much evokes the tale of Rhaegar and Lyanna;

Rhaegar Targaryen, Jon's real father, was a notably skilled lyre player, whose singing supposedly made Lyanna cry — "The dragon prince sang a song so sad it made the wolf maid sniffle," (ASOS, Bran II). He is also theorised to have written the song Jenny of Oldstones, possibly for the Ghost of High Heart, Jenny's friend.

Ygritte — when Jon starts to find her more attractive, when he starts to romanticise her, he observes that "sometimes she sang in a low husky voice that stirred him," (ASOS, Jon II).

Val — again, we start to see Jon begin to warm to Val, to see her in more of a romantic + typically feminine light, because of her singing to the baby Monster: "I have heard you singing to him," (ADWD, Jon VIII).

Sansa — oh, my sweet Sansa...when remembering his family, not quite in his dying moments, but a little bit prior to that, Jon thinks "Of Sansa, brushing out Lady's coat and singing to herself. You know nothing, Jon Snow," (ADWD, Jon XIII).

I think it's clear that Jon loves a good song and you know what? He'd probably be asking about the lack of singers too! One final detail perhaps worth noting is the seat of House Coldwater:

[...] the Coldwaters of Coldwater Burn [...] – TWOIAF, The Vale

Obviously, the "song of ice and fire" is not a person, but more the elemental and destructive forces of the Others and the dragons, yet nevertheless, through Jon's parentage, as well as his actions (burned hand, etc.), plus his personality to a certain extent (hot-headed then repressing emotions) you do have this duality of hot and cold, of fire and ice...Coldwater Burn? Could be something.

Ser Andrew Tollett

So, like you said, the name Tollett immediately puts us in mind of Eddison Tollett, also known as Dolorous Edd, who is like Jon, a black brother of the Night's Watch. And he is a good brother to Jon, voting for him in the election for the Lord Commander, as well as becoming his loyal steward for a time, before being sent on a mission to Long Barrow. Interestingly, Dolorous Edd, as well as the Tolletts in general, do have a bit of a Stark vibe to them...

Like a typical Stark, Dolorous Edd is described as having a "long face" (ACOK, Jon III), a face like a mule's to be exact, but also notably a horse's as well:

"[...] Me, I have the mules. Nettles claims we're kin. It's true we have the same long face, but I'm not near as stubborn [...]" – ADWD, Jon XII

He only wished he had time to kill Tollett as well. Gloomy horsefaced fool, that's what he is. – ASOS, Prologue

He is given the nickname Dolorous Edd (dolorous = mournful), and is referred to several times as being "dour" (ACOK, Jon II, Jon III, ASOS, Jon V, ADWD, Jon XII, XIII), an attribute not entirely out of place when we consider some notable Starks and their disposition, as well as their house words:

He had the Stark face if not the name: long, solemn, guarded, a face that gave nothing away. – AGOT, Tyrion II

Winter is coming. The Stark words had never sounded so grim or ominous to Jon as they did now. – AGOT, Jon VIII

I gave my maidenhood to this solemn stranger and sent him off to his war and his king and the woman who bore him his bastard, because I always did my duty. – ACOK, Catelyn VI

Ned was shorter and plainer of face, and so somber. He spoke courteously enough, but beneath the words she sensed a coolness that was all at odds with Brandon, whose mirths had been as wild as his rages [...] And after the war, at Winterfell, I had love enough for any woman, once I found the good sweet heart beneath Ned's solemn face. – ASOS, Catelyn V

So, not unlike Jon, Arya and Ned, Dolorous Edd has a "long and solemn" face (AGOT, Arya I), as well as a "dour" personality. Furthermore, even House Tollet of Grey Glen's sigil and words have Stark vibes, since according to semi-canon sources, their shield is "pily grey and black" and their words are "When all is darkest," which arguably carries the same ominous, Long Night warning of "Winter is coming". In addition to this, like the Coldwaters, the Tollets are sworn to the First Men descended Royces.

But beyond this, if we take a look at some legendary and historical Tolletts...we actually have two notable names:

Torgold Tollett — also known as Torgold the Grim, though ironically, because he was famous for riding into battle laughing, and naked from the waist up:

The songs say that Torgold knew no fear and felt no pain. Though bleeding from a score of wounds, he cut a red swathe through Lord Redfort's staunchest warriors, then took his lordship's arm off at the shoulder with a single cut. Nor was he dismayed when the sorceress Ursula Upcliff appeared upon a bloodred horse to curse him. By then he was bare-handed, having left both of his axes buried in a foe's chest, but the singers say he leapt upon the witch's horse, grasped her face between two bloody hands, and tore her head from her shoulders as she screamed for succor. – TWOIAF, The Vale

Ser Jon Tollett — In Fire & Blood, Jon Tollett is recorded as a member of King Maegor the Cruel's Kingsguard. After the king's mysterious death, his successor, King Jaeherys I, offered Maegor's surviving Kingsguard a choice between execution or taking the black. Jon Tollett chose the latter. This somewhat parallels Ned's decision to take the black, to a certain extent.

You could argue that there are more than a few similarities, or future foreshadowings, between these Tolletts and Jon Snow...

Ser Byron the Beautiful

Like you mentioned, Jon Snow has been described by GRRM as a "Byronic, romantic hero". I'm so annoyed with myself, because I had written up some good stuff on how Jon really does possess certain Byronic traits but as I was inserting a gif it ended up deleting most of what I wrote...so I'm still a bit bitter over that, but will rewrite it at some point soon. Take my word for it though, Jon Snow is 100% more of a Byronic Hero (a la Byron's own Manfred), than Sandor Clegane, for example:

GRRM: “Well who wouldn’t want to be Jon Snow — the brooding, Byronic, romantic hero whom all the girls love.” [source]

Ser Byron, as well as being described as beautiful, is also notably very gallant, the perfect knight:

"Dutiful and beautiful," said an elegant young knight whose thick blond mane cascaded down well past his shoulders. – AFFC, Alayne II

We all know that Sansa appreciates a bit of genuine courtesy, and in fact, she's taught Jon well in that regard:

"Gilly, he called me. For the gillyflower."

"That's pretty." He remembered Sansa telling him once that he should say that whenever a lady told him her name. He could not help the girl, but perhaps the courtesy would please her. – ACOK, Jon III

I think this Jon stand-in does rely mostly on Jon's connection to the Byronic Hero. So, if anyone is still a bit dubious on that (because Rochester and Heathcliff are trash), just hang in there for my eventual meta on the subject, which focuses on Lord Byron's OG Byronic Hero, rather than the later Brontë/Victorian iterations.

In fact, in terms of Jon's parentage and future romance with Sansa, there's one Byronic tale that may be a particular source of inspiration — The Bride of Abydos. This poem notably includes a romance in which half-siblings are revealed to be cousins...sound familiar?

Ser Morgarth the Merry

Another hedge knight, like Ser Byron, who is sworn into the service of Petyr Baelish. I've got to agree with you here, red-nosed Ser Morgarth's connection to Jon is quite a bit harder to decipher! I have done a little digging though, and it is possible that the Garth in Morgarth is a reference to several Garths that appear in Jon's chapters, as well as Garth Greenhand, the alleged ancestor of legendary House Stark founder...Brandon the Builder:

Garth of Oldtown

Garth of Greenaway

Garth Greyfeather

All of these Garths are rangers/members of the Night's Watch at the same time as Jon, though I think by Dance it is presumed that they are all dead, or at least missing — in fact, Garth of Greenaway kills Garth of Oldtown. Garth on Garth violence!!

Haha, oh god...I think I just got the pun...Morgarth = More Garth! More Garths the merrier! Get it?! More Garths everybody!

George, I hate you.

Ok, so that's what that is. It's literally just a dumb pun, yet it also connects Morgarth to the Night's Watch Garths, and therefore Jon.

Ser Shadrich the Mad Mouse

I think you're right that Ser Shadrich's presence connects us to Brienne's quest, as well as foreshadowing potential shit hitting the fan at the tourney of the Winged Knights. But he also notably makes some interesting remarks, both to Brienne and Sansa, which we can connect to Jon Snow's secret Targaryen heritage:

"Where?" Brienne slapped another silver stag down.

He flicked the coin back at her with his forefinger. "Someplace no stag ever found...though a dragon might." – AFFC, Brienne III

On the surface, in response to Brienne's questioning about the whereabouts of the Stark sisters, Shadrich is talking about a monetary bribe. However, beneath that explicit meaning, is an implicit reference to a stag (Joffrey) failing, where a dragon (Jon) will succeed. Others have talked about this line in more detail elsewhere, but it seems like a pretty good allusion to the foils, Joffrey (a prince who is really a bastard) and Jon (a bastard who is really a prince).

In this exact Winds chapter, however, we also see a conversation between Alayne and Shadrich, which hints at his possible plans to uncover and abduct Sansa Stark in return for a lucrative reward:

“A good melee is all a hedge knight can hope for, unless he stumbles on a bag of dragons. And that’s not likely, is it?”

This "stumbl[ing] on a bag of dragons" could also be seen as an implicit nod towards stumbling upon Jon's Targaryen heritage later in the novel, something that is more "likely" than anyone would expect. That claim might be a reach, were it not for the implication that when Shadrich talks about money, i.e. dragons...he isn't actually talking about gold coins, he's talking about Targaryens, but more than that...he's talking specifically about Jon Snow.

Ser Albar Royce

"Myranda’s stout dull brother and Lord Nestor’s heir." I think like Ser Morgarth, the physical appearance of these stand-ins doesn't always play a factor, because it would be kind of unnerving if they all had solemn long faces... So, what is important here is, like you say, the name Royce and his relation to Ser Waymar Royce, Sansa's first crush, who just happens to resemble and parallels Jon quite a bit:

She had fallen wildly in love with Ser Waymar, she remembered dimly, but that was a lifetime ago, when she was a stupid little girl. – AFFC, Alayne I

Ser Waymar Royce was the youngest son of an ancient house with too many heirs. He was a handsome youth of eighteen, grey-eyed and graceful and slender as a knife. Mounted on his huge black destrier, the knight towered above Will and Gared on their smaller garrons. He wore black leather boots, black woolen pants, black moleskin gloves, and a fine supple coat of gleaming black ringmail over layers of black wool and boiled leather. Ser Waymar had been a Sworn Brother of the Night's Watch for less than half a year, but no one could say he had not prepared for his vocation. At least insofar as his wardrobe was concerned. – AGOT, Prologue

Jon's eyes were a grey so dark they seemed almost black, but there was little they did not see. He was of an age with Robb, but they did not look alike. Jon was slender where Robb was muscular, dark where Robb was fair, graceful and quick where his half brother was strong and fast. – AGOT, Bran I

"They're not my brothers," Jon snapped. "They hate me because I'm better than they are." – AGOT, Jon III

Although, it is worth noting that the Royces, as a whole, do somewhat resemble the Starks in appearance, at least in terms of their eye colour:

Bronze Yohn Royce, the current head of House Royce of Runestone, has "slate-grey eyes" as well as a "solemn face", (AFFC, Alayne I).

Ser Robar, his second son was "comely in a rough-hewn way" (ACOK, Catelyn III), with "pale" eyes (ACOK, Catelyn IV), possibly grey like his father's.

Ser Waymar, Yohn's third son, as mentioned, was "grey-eyed" (AGOT, Prologue).

It isn't as clear whether or not their cadet branch, which Albar belongs to, tend towards grey eyes as well, though we know that Myranda has brown hair, specifically "thick chestnut curls" (AFFC, Alayne II) — typical looking Starks, like Ned, Arya, and Jon, all have brown/dark hair.

As previously mentioned, the Royces are also descended from the First Men, have kinship links to the Starks, knew Ned when he fostered in the Vale, and Bronze Yohn even "knows" Sansa Stark:

"Bronze Yohn knows me," she reminded him. "He was a guest at Winterfell when his son rode north to take the black." She had fallen wildly in love with Ser Waymar, she remembered dimly, but that was a lifetime ago, when she was a stupid little girl. "And that was not the only time. Lord Royce saw...he saw Sansa Stark again at King's Landing, during the Hand's tourney." – AFFC, Alayne I

His seamed and solemn face brought back all of Sansa's memories of his time at Winterfell. She remembered him at table, speaking quietly with her mother. She heard his voice booming off the walls when he rode back from a hunt with a buck behind his saddle. She could see him in the yard, a practice sword in hand, hammering her father to the ground and turning to defeat Ser Rodrik as well. He will know me. How could he not? She considered throwing herself at his feet to beg for his protection. He never fought for Robb, why should he fight for me? The war is finished and Winterfell is fallen. "Lord Royce," she asked timidly, "will you have a cup of wine, to take the chill off?"

Bronze Yohn had slate-grey eyes, half-hidden beneath the bushiest eyebrows she had ever seen. They crinkled when he looked down at her. "Do I know you, girl?" – AFFC, Alayne I

They also have the house words "We will remember", which somewhat evokes the recurring refrain "the north remembers" (ASOS, Catelyn, ADWD, Davos IV, ADWD, A Ghost in Winterfell, TWOW, Theon I), as well as a possible remembrance of the Long Night, similar to the Starks’ and Tolletts’ words. All in all, as well as evoking a certain Starkness (and Jon-ness), the Royces seem set up to be staunch allies of the Starks going forward.

All Three Sunderlands

Since these Sunderland brothers aren't given names, we can assume what is significant about them, in relation to Jon and Sansa, is their Sunderland name. As you noted, the Sunderlands are the reigning lords of the Three Sisters, and in Dance, through Davos' pov, we hear about Ned's time there during Robert's Rebellion:

"At the dawn of Robert's Rebellion. The Mad King had sent to the Eyrie for Stark's head, but Jon Arryn sent him back defiance. Gulltown stayed loyal to the throne, though. To get home and call his banners, Stark had to cross the mountains to the Fingers and find a fisherman to carry him across the Bite. A storm caught them on the way. The fisherman drowned, but his daughter got Stark to the Sisters before the boat went down. They say he left her with a bag of silver and a bastard in her belly. Jon Snow, she named him, after Arryn.

"Be that as it may. My father sat where I sit now when Lord Eddard came to Sisterton. Our maester urged us to send Stark's head to Aerys, to prove our loyalty. It would have meant a rich reward. The Mad King was open-handed with them as pleased him. By then we knew that Jon Arryn had taken Gulltown, though. Robert was the first man to gain the wall, and slew Marq Grafton with his own hand. 'This Baratheon is fearless,' I said. 'He fights the way a king should fight.' Our maester chuckled at me and told us that Prince Rhaegar was certain to defeat this rebel. That was when Stark said, 'In this world only winter is certain. We may lose our heads, it's true…but what if we prevail?' My father sent him on his way with his head still on his shoulders. 'If you lose,' he told Lord Eddard, 'you were never here.' " – ADWD, Davos I

This passage has one of my favourite asoiaf quotes of all time..."In this world only winter is certain. We may lose our heads, it's true...but what if we prevail?" Truly iconic. So defiantly hopeful.

But, yes, you're right that this story, and the Sunderlands, connects us to Ned, but more importantly...to Jon Snow. Really, Jon has quite a few Vale connections, all things considered, and he is named after Jon Arryn after all!

Uther Shett

Well, along with his buddy Ossifer Lipps (ass for lips), Uther Shett (utter shit) is an example of George having some pretty lowbrow fun with punny names. During their dance, Uther paid Alayne "slimy compliments as he trod upon her feet"...so not the best partner!

But from one shit to another...I think you're probably right that Uther Shett is meant to recall Chett, indeed, if we take a look at his description in Winds:

The one on her left was no more than eighteen, and skinny as a spear. His ginger-colored whiskers only partially served to disguise the angry red pimples that dotted his face.

His bad skin is somewhat comparable to Chett's boils:

Chett had a wen on his neck the size of a pigeon's egg, and a face red with boils and pimples. Perhaps that was why he always seemed so angry. – AGOT, Jon V

What is also noteworthy about Chett's prologue pov in ASOS, is that we get this linking of literal snow and Jon Snow:

Snow was falling.

He could feel tears freezing to his cheeks. It isn't fair, he wanted to scream. Snow would ruin everything he'd worked for, all his careful plans. It was a heavy fall, thick white flakes coming down all about him [...] The snow's taken it all from me...the bloody snow...

Snow had ruined him once before. Snow and his pet pig. – ASOS, Prologue

This makes any mention of snow beyond this point a bit more noteworthy, especially since Jon is referred to as "the Snow of Winterfell," (ASOS, Jon I), and we also have Sansa's famous "drifting snowflakes brushed her face as light as lover's kisses" whilst building Winterfell out of snow scene, also in ASOS, (Sansa VII). So, Chett is very important when it comes to establishing this connection.

Ser Targon the Halfwild

Targon is only mentioned once and it is in that list of dance partners. He's not connected to any particular house, all we know of him is that he is a knight and that he "proved to be the soul of courtesy." This detail is interesting because it sort goes against his "Halfwild" moniker — he is courteous in spite of his half-wildness. Likewise, Jon is also courteous, chivalrous and knightly even, in spite of the stigma attached to being a bastard:

They still think me a turncloak. That was a bitter draft to drink, but Jon could not blame them. He was a bastard, after all. Everyone knew that bastards were wanton and treacherous by nature, having been born of lust and deceit. And he had made as many enemies as friends at Castle Black...Rast, for one. Jon had once threatened to have Ghost rip his throat out unless he stopped tormenting Samwell Tarly, and Rast did not forget things like that. – ASOS, Jon VII

As mentioned in comparison to Ser Byron, Jon behaves courteously towards Gilly, calling her name "pretty", just as Sansa taught him. He also often refers to Val as "my lady" despite her being a proud woman of the Free Folk. Jon also clearly looks up to and wishes to emulate legendary knights to a certain extent, and behaving with courtesy and honour is very much part of that:

They were not little boys when they fought, but knights and mighty heroes. "I'm Prince Aemon the Dragonknight," Jon would call out, and Robb would shout back, "Well, I'm Florian the Fool." Or Robb would say, "I'm the Young Dragon," and Jon would reply, "I'm Ser Ryam Redwyne." – ASOS, Jon XII

Furthermore, Jon has this connection to the Free Folk, also known as the wildlings, having spent a fair amount of time with them:

"The wildling blood is the blood of the First Men, the same blood that flows in the veins of the Starks [...]" – ASOS, Jon I

"Some of your own Sworn Brothers would have me believe that you are half a wildling yourself. Is it true?" – ADWD, Jon IV

Mully cleared his throat. "M'lord? The wildling princess, letting her go, the men may say—"

"—that I am half a wildling myself, a turncloak who means to sell the realm to our raiders, cannibals, and giants." Jon did not need to stare into a fire to know what was being said of him. The worst part was, they were not wrong, not wholly. "Words are wind, and the wind is always blowing at the Wall. Come." – ADWD, Jon VIII

"A wildling. A filthy, murdering wildling." Cregan's hands closed into fists. The gloves that covered them were leather, lined with fur to match the cloak that hung matted and stiff from his broad shoulders. His black wool surcoat was emblazoned with the white sunburst of his house. "I see what you are, Snow. Half a wolf and half a wildling, baseborn get of a traitor and a whore. You would deliver a highborn maid to the bed of some stinking savage. Did you sample her yourself first?" He laughed. "If you mean to kill me, do it and be damned for a kinslayer. Stark and Karstark are one blood."

"My name is Snow." – ADWD, Jon X

I am not the trusting fool you take me for...nor am I half wildling, no matter what you believe. – ADWD, Jon XI

If Stark blood is also essentially wildling blood, and Jon is half Stark on his mother's side...that would make him "Halfwild" in blood as well as in spirit. And like you said, Targon feels very close to Targaryen/Targ-Jon. So this name is there solely as a hint towards Jon's true parentage — half Targaryen and half Stark. But I think you could argue that the "Halfwild" element could allude to Jon's post-resurrection state as well. I do personally like the idea of Feral Jon™.

Ser Roland & Ser Wallace Waynwood

Like the Royces, and Dolorous Edd, the Waynwoods also bear some notable Stark physical traits, as noted by Myranda in this chapter:

“The first Lady Waynwood must have been a mare, I think. How else to explain why all the Waynwood men are horse-faced? [...]"

As we know, looking horse-faced, or in Edd's case, mule-faced, indicates a rather long visage:

Arya took after their lord father. Her hair was a lusterless brown, and her face was long and solemn. Jeyne used to call her Arya Horseface, and neigh whenever she came near. – AGOT, Arya I

[Arya] even looked like Jon, with the long face and brown hair of the Starks, and nothing of their lady mother in her face or her coloring. – AGOT, Sansa I

Interestingly though, Jon is never referred to as being called horse-faced, although we know he has a long Stark face. You'd think that Chett, in the ASOS Prologue would have made that kind of dig, since he says as much about Dolorous Edd? This is why I tentatively believe that, although long-faced, Jon isn't as apparently "homely" as these Stark looking Waynwood brothers:

Ser Roland was the oldest of the three, though no more than five-and-twenty. He was taller and more muscular than Ser Wallace, but both were long-faced and lantern-jawed, with stringy brown hair and pinched noses. Horsefaced and homely, Alayne thought.

That being said, I don't think he's as "handsome" as Ser Waymar Royce, or "beautiful" like Ser Byron. But obviously, he's got something going for him because as GRRM says "all the girls love" him, and you know, he's got a good bod probably and if the Giant's Lance cake is anything to go by, as well as all Tormund's small penis jokes...um, well, maybe he's packing, I don't know! (Don't look at me like that guys...it's GRRM not me!)

But anyway! Like you said, Ser Wallace Waynwood is even of an age with Robb, and therefore also Jon:

Robb would be his age, if he were still alive, she could not help but think, but Robb died a king, and this is just a boy.

There is also a teeny bit of Stark blood, though obviously potent stuff, in the mix with those Waynwoods:

"No," Catelyn agreed. "You must name another heir, until such time as Jeyne gives you a son." She considered a moment. "Your father's father had no siblings, but his father had a sister who married a younger son of Lord Raymar Royce, of the junior branch. They had three daughters, all of whom wed Vale lordlings. A Waynwood and a Corbray, for certain. The youngest...it might have been a Templeton, but..."

"Mother." There was a sharpness in Robb's tone. "You forget. My father had four sons." – ASOS, Catelyn V

Shit — "all of whom wed Vale lordlings" — that's probably where all these Stark looking mother fudgers are coming from. So, all in all, I think there's some strong parallels.

And finally...Ser Harrold Hardyng

But let's not forget this bitch.

And there he stood, Harry the Heir himself; tall, handsome, scowling. “Lady Alayne. May I partner you in this dance?”

She considered for a moment. “No. I don’t think so.”

Prior to Harry, who notably fits into the Ashford pattern of Sansa's suitors, we have all these Jon stand-ins, or references to Jon. We can actually separate them out into their different functions, though there is some overlap with Andrew Tollett:

Those who reference Jon's Starkness/the Stark Look™:

Andrew Tollett

Albar Royce

Roland Waynwood

Wallace Waynwood

Those who reference his position/location at the Night's Watch:

Because in the Alayne chapter prior to this one, Sansa learns that Jon has been made Lord Commander:

[..] Oh, and the Night’s Watch has a boy commander, some bastard son of Eddard Stark’s.” “Jon Snow?” she blurted out, surprised. “Snow? Yes, it would be Snow, I suppose.” – AFFC, Alayne II

So, it is interesting that you then have a number of dance partners connected to members of the Watch:

Ben Coldwater

Andrew Tollett

Morgarth the Merry

Uther Shett

This could be read as foreshadowing for Sansa's future journey north, and specifically to the Wall, where she believes Jon to be.

Those who reference his true/uncertain parentage:

Byron the Beautiful

Shadrich the Mad Mouse

The Three Sunderlands

Targon the Halfwild

All these guys get a dance, but when Harry asks? He is denied. It is only after some A+ dragging by Alayne, and begging by Harry that the latter gets his dance. Yet don't be fooled into thinking this is a win for Harrold:

"Should we ever wed, you'll have to send Saffron back to her father. I’ll be all the spice you’ll want."

He grinned. "I will hold you to that promise, my lady. Until that day, may I wear your favor in the tourney?"

"You may not. It is promised to… another." She was not sure who as yet, but she knew she would find someone.

First off, we have this reminder of the betrothal, but there is a lack of certainty there — "should we wed" — and I would argue that's because...they ain't gonna. Remember all that wedding breakfast imagery, including an umcomfortably phallic lemon (wedding) cake, gift-giving and nod to a bridal cloak? Remember how that was followed by several dances with Jon stand-ins?

"[...] It is promised to… another."

Oh, I wonder who that could be? Honestly...GRRM has very clearly, for those who care to really look, stated someone else's claim here, and it ain't Harry's. In fact, it is the very same person who also evokes Valarr Targaryen in the Ashford pattern.

...it's our boi, Jon Snow.

“Jon Snow?” she blurted out, surprised.

“Snow? Yes, it would be Snow, I suppose.” – AFFC, Alayne II

You "suppose", Myranda? Honey, I'm certain.

[shera-dnd]

Had to split a simply colossal chapter into two smaller ones, so here is the first of those

Now featuring the faes’ true forms and an ungodly amount of simping

“I believed we had our winner when Lady Polendina got that perfect bullseye,” Weiss retold as she walked with her companions through the festival grounds, “but Lady Rose managed to, and I still cannot believe it, split her lover’s arrow with her own!”

“I’m certain there is an innuendo to be found there,” Ilia commented, earning her an offended scoff from the would-be-knight.

“Must you?” Weiss asked in exasperation.

“Believe me, Lady Gigas, she most certainly must.” Blake assured her, “but please continue. I’d love to hear more about our favorite couple.”

“Well, after they had finished utterly humiliating me in the shooting range,” she regaled, “they decided it was time to do so again in the sparring fields.”

“What is it with you knightly folk and sparring?” Ilia asked, seemingly annoyed, “is this your means of courtship? Were Lady Rose and Lady Polendina inviting you to join them in their tent?”

“It is a means to maintain our skills while coming to better understand each other!” Weiss countered, “and just because I now know where my preferences lie does not mean I’ll fall for the first woman to best me in combat!”

“Of course,” Ilia replied, though Weiss found no reassurance in her tone, “after all that honor would fall to Lady Blake, and we all know her preference is for women two times your size.”

“I have never claimed otherwise,” Blake replied with a shrug, “now would you mind procuring us some dinner, before you make our friend pop a blood vessel.”

“Very well,” Ilia sighed, as if she had been burdened with a terrible quest, “I shall meet you both back at camp. Please, do torment the Schnee in my absence.’

She offered them an over exaggerated bow and made her way deeper into the festival grounds, quickly disappearing amidst the crowd.

“You do know I could have just made us dinner, right?” Weiss asked, annoyance clear in her tone.

“And I’m certain it would have been delicious,” Blake replied, “but I’m not certain it would have been worth your sanity.”

“Of course.”

She hated to admit it, but she did not mind this at all. In fact she quite enjoyed the little trading of barbs that they partook in every day. It made for some interesting entertainment, and it allowed her to know Ilia a little better.

She was also quite enamored with the little laughs that would escape the fae whenever she got Weiss to make a fool of herself. No, she most definitely did not wish to question why she found Ilia’s laughter to be so endearing.

Definitely not.

Weiss decided then to archive those thoughts, and focus instead on the second most embarrassing topic in her mind.

“Thank you,” she muttered as they began making their way back to camp.

“No need to thank me,” Blake waved off, “wouldn’t want you two to strangle each other.”

“No, I meant…” Weiss sighed, “thank you for calling me a friend.”

Blake offered her a soft smile that only served to embarrass her further.

“I’m glad I got to call you that,” she replied, “and I’m sure Ilia thinks the same, even if she’ll never admit it.”

That got Weiss to smile back. Her life so far had been one of isolation, she had barely met anyone outside of the few select guests her father would allow into their manor, and had failed to find anyone who cared for her with the exception of Winter and Klein. But now she had been able to adventure beyond the walls of Atlas and find people who she could call friends.

Without Ilia with them to incite arguments and pester her, the rest of the walk back to camp was held in a comfortable silence. Though Weiss certainly missed the opportunity to get back at her friend for the earlier annoyance.

“If I may,” Blake began as soon as they arrived at their camp, “would you mind if I spent the night in my own skin for a change?”

It took Weiss’s mind a long moment to register what she meant by that request, but when it did she jumped to attention.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” She asked, looking around to make sure no one had heard that.

“Our camp is secluded enough,” she shrugged, “and no one ever comes here uninvited.”

“If you’re sure,” Weiss replied, “then I would not mind.”

Blake smiled at her in thanks and began undressing herself. Weiss promptly turned to look away, eyes focusing on anything but her naked companion. What followed was a series of noises that she would fail to describe, though they tempted Weiss to look back at her, if only to make sure that she’s okay.

After a moment of silence she heard the heavy thump of something heavy hitting the ground, followed by Blake’s familiar voice, “you may look again now.”

Where once stood the proud Black Knight of Vale now sat something else entirely. Her form had grown tremendously, now easily challenging that of Lady Xiao Long, and her body had grown completely covered in black fur, with a small white spot on her chest and two others on the back of her now clawed hands.

Her hair too had grown longer and wilder, and the face that hid behind it now took the features of a feline, especially her golden eyes which now reflected the bonfire’s light with an eerie glow. Behind her sway a long black tail, though mostly catlike it was adorned with thorns and purple flowers.

No, not adorned, that plant was as much a part of her body as her tail.

Stunned was perhaps not enough to describe the state in which Weiss found herself right now. She had been raised on stories of the terrifying and monstrous fae that hid in the forests beyond the walls of Atlas, and though Blake’s true form definitely fit that description, she still carried herself with the same grace and nobility that she did in her human skin.

She was still a knight, and she was still Lady Blake.

Unfortunately Blake seemed to take notice of all the staring, “if this causes you discomfort, I could change back.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Weiss assured her, “I was simply unprepared.”

Pleased with that response, Blake began to vigorously stretch herself as if she had spent many hours locked inside a tight space - a comparison that was perhaps too appropriate for her much smaller human form - and behind her her tail swayed happily.

“I haven’t been able to don this form since we arrived for the festival,” Blake informed, “it is good to feel like myself again.”

“It won’t be good for long if the local knights decide to take our hides,” the familiar and ever cheerful tone of Ilia’s voice called as she approached camp and unceremoniously dropping a basket between the two of them, “though do enjoy your dinner while you can.”

“Thank you, I certainly plan to,” Blake replied, seemingly unfazed by Ilia’s usual foul mood, “now come, sit, take off that damned glamour for once.”

Ilia stared at her, as if she was trying to will her fellow fae to stop with this nonsense.

It did not work.

“She will not give in, Lady Ilia,” Weiss said, “we’ll already be in plenty of trouble if we’re found in the presence of one fae, a second one won’t make a difference.”

Lady Ilia was unamused by Weiss’s commentary, “and what, pray tell, is your plan in case they do find you in the presence of not one, but two fae?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” She asked, standing up so she would be on the same level as her, “I’ll have a heroic last stand where I’ll fight off a dozen knights, before rescuing you on horseback.”

“Is that so?” Ilia asked, trying to keep her lips from twitching.

Weiss stepped closer.

“Oh yes, and then we’d ride off towards the sunrise and you’d…” she paused for a moment, trying to remember something, “what was it you said? Swoon and praise me for my strength and bravery.”

“Didn’t you say you held no attraction towards swooning maidens, Schnee?” Ilia teased, her smile slowly beginning to take hold.

“I’d be simply fulfilling my knightly duties, Lady Ilia,” Weiss insisted.

“You know what, Schnee?” Ilia began, with a smile on her face as she closed the ever shrinking gap between her and the Schnee, “I think I will doff this damned glamour, if only so I can watch you get skewered by those dozen knights while I flee on horseback by myself.”

“I’ll make sure to make it entertaining to you, my lady,” Weiss assured her, now face to face with the smiling fae.

A chuckle escaped Blake’s lips, earning her the most terrifying glare from Lady Ilia. The knight was, of course, unimpressed, seeming to consider a comment in her mind before reconsidering and letting it die without being voiced. A decision that Ilia greatly approved.

“Now will you please cast away that glamour of yours and relax for once,” she said instead.

“Very well,” Ilia surrendered with a sigh.

For a moment nothing seemed to happen, but then it was like the Ilia Weiss had known had shattered like glass, and what stood behind the illusion could only be described as breathtaking.

Eyes of light blue turned into pure glowing white, freckled skin turned to thousands of scales woven together into a tapestry of color. On her forehead now stood two large thorns, almost like a pair of horns, though they exuded the same regal air as a proper crown.

Lady Ilia then disposed of her - now much bleeker looking - dress to reveal a growth of leaves and vines covering her more...intimate places. Still it was not her crown nor her naked form that had Weiss in awe, it was her wings.

They were not unlike those of a butterfly, though no butterfly could ever hope to match their beauty. They were the light of her eyes fractured again and again into more colors than Weiss's mortal eyes could see, all of them weaved together in a pattern that could make even the stained glass of Atlas's grand cathedral look plain by comparison.

It took all of Weiss’s will not to fall to her knees in worship of the beauty she had been given the privilege to bask in. Though it didn’t seem she was able to completely hide her reaction, as when their eyes met she saw surprise in Lady Ilia’s face, and for a moment it was as if every fragment of color in her body had turned to the brightest of pinks.

“Should I give you both some space?” Blake asked, tail swaying slowly behind her.

“Absolutely not!” Lady Ilia shouted, sitting back down and refusing to look back at the still stunned wannabe knight.

It was now Weiss’s turn to shift through several shades of pink. She whispered a silent prayer that the gods would return to Remnant if only so the God of Destruction could completely remove her - and her shame - from the face of this world. This gave her some time to recover, at least enough that she could sit by the campfire with her companions again.

Unfortunately for the both of them that awkward tension lingered over the camp like a thick fog. It did not help that neither of them found it within themselves to look at or even address each other. They left it all to Blake to rescue them from their self imposed punishment.

“Ilia,” she called, “I believe you had questions for me.”

Lady Ilia seemed to take a few moments to recognize that she was being spoken to, but bolted up in attention as she understood the opportunity that was being given her.

“You’ve yet to tell me how you came to join the humans,” she reminded, “or why iron doesn’t burn you.”

That piqued Weiss’s interest as well. She knew Blake had to have some kind of magical trick to don her armor without burning herself alive, perhaps if she could share that secret they could use it to help those fae who wished to live among humans.

“This isn’t some trick you can replicate, Ilia,” Blake explained, killing Weiss’s plan on the spot, “this is not a weapon the unseelie can use.”

Ilia let out a sound not unlike a growl, showing that her teeth were much sharper than before.

“Not everything I do is out of spite for humanity!” She almost shouted, and her body shifted into bloody reds and harsh yellows. Though that display clearly failed to intimidate her fellow fae, earning herself only a raised brow, a reaction that caused her to change colors once more, this time to pinks and blues. “You left us. I want to know why.”

“But I have already--”

“No,” she interrupted, colors shifting over and over through her body, unable and unwilling to settle, “you don’t just change your mind like that for no reason. I want to know what happened.”

Blake sighed, tail wrapping around herself as she seemed to deflate, “this story is quite long, Ilia.”

“So is the night,” Ilia countered, “come, tell us.”

Blake looked at her, then at Weiss, who offered her her most reassuring look, “very well then.”

[dustedmagazine]

Listed: Michael Beach

Since 2008, singer-songwriter Michael Beach has been busy banging out guitar and piano numbers in the bummer rock traditions of greats like Neil Young, Come and The Wipers. That is, when he’s not doing things like concocting skronky kraut jams with Pete Warden (his old bandmate in Shovels) as Brain Drugs, performing in friends’ bands (such as Thigh Master and David Nance), or backing up Israeli cult hero, Charlie Megira. Last year, the California native, currently living in Melbourne, Australia, linked up with Goner Records for both a new LP, Dream Violence, and a reissue of 2017’s Gravity/Repulsion, which Dusted’s Chris Liberato called “a mini-LP about tough times which just might help you to endure some of your own.” He’s got a new solo EP coming in September on Goner/Poison City and a seven-inch with Warden as Drain Brugs following it later in 2022. Below, Beach shares a list of some recent favorites.

Flower-Corsano Duo — The Halcyon

The Halcyon by Flower-Corsano Duo

I was so enamored with The Four Aims, the last LP by Mick Flower and Chris Corsano, that I listened to this one with a bit of trepidation. But just like the last one, this record seems to defy categorization — frenetic yet trance-inducing, expansive yet seemingly static, somehow both macro and micro. Just great. This is what life sounds like to me.

Jowe Head — Swell Maps 1972-1980

A recent hardback bio of the band from founding member Jowe Head. Swell Maps have always been a favorite, but this book made me love them more. It’s a no-frills description of the history of the band — a total embrace of DIY aesthetic, and the best parts of punk. Thanks to Brian Turner for the heads up!

Harold Budd — Pavilion of Dreams

Harold Budd came up in a recent recording I did with Lloyd Swanton of The Necks. I had listened to the Budd/Eno record The Pearl but hadn’t heard this. Somehow this record manages to be shockingly beautiful without ever crossing a line into cheesiness. It’s a totally focused and committed aesthetic.

Ignatz & De Stervende Honden — Teenage Boys

My friend Jake turned me onto this record when we were south of Sydney on tour last year. A perfect soundtrack to mornings on tour with friends on a balcony overlooking the Pacific, on the legendary Ultra Eczema Label.

Exek — Advertise Here

Exek has been on a tear for the last few years here in Melbourne with a pretty flawless run of records. Their latest record, Advertise Here, hit the sweet spot for me. They’ve grown into their aesthetic with a steady excellence.

J.G. Ballard — RE/Search #8/9

A recently reissued collection of interviews, quotes, fiction and nonfiction shorts of Ballard’s, compiled by the legendary San Francisco publisher V. Vale. My two wildest friends always clamored on about how good of a zine RE/Search was, so when these reissues came out, I grabbed one and it didn’t disappoint. What a great thing to find more to love about an artist I already held in such high regard. Thanks, Lulu’s, for stocking them!

Mess Esque — Dream #12

Dream #12 by Mess Esque, Mick Turner, McKisko

I played a show with Mick Turner and Jim White (two musicians I’ve admired for a long time) last year, and Mick told me about making a record during COVID lockdowns with a musician from Brisbane he’d never met. His collaboration with Helen Franzmann as Mess Esque is astounding both on record and live. Another killer release from Joe Alexander’s label, Private Eyes. Swoon.

Charles Mingus — The Black Saint And The Sinner Lady

I had an all-nighter with a friend last weekend and put this record on for the first time in a long time. It seemed to suit the late night extremely well, but it’s a masterpiece at any time of day. Goddamn. Thanks to Superior Viaduct for the reissue!

Robinson Jeffers — Such Counsels You Gave To Me

One of the last collections of poetry from one of my favorite poets, gifted to me by my wonderful partner Sarah for my birthday. I’m eternally grateful to my friend Utrillo for turning me onto him (and a million other greats). If Whitman was an East Coast American full of hope for the newly settled/stolen continent, then Jeffers is his much darker counterpart, marooned on the cliffs of Big Sur after 200 years of manifest destiny and societal decay. Timeless and foreboding, even when written in the 1930s.

Richard and Linda Thompson — I Want To See The Bright Lights Tonight

My bandmate Bonnie sent me this record last year, and it was definitely my most listened to of the year. So good to find a new musical obsession!

[dianapocalypse]

Alright y’all, with the release of Mass Effect: Legendary Edition, it’s time for me to share my playlist for the entire trilogy.

I’ve refined this over like six years so scientifically speaking it’s probably good right. oh also it’s four hours long. so if you have a road trip or a boring job, this one’s for you. disclaimer, it’s entirely possible I have garbage taste in music. I also missed some characters and moments because there’s 65 songs here and I am merely human.

If you don’t have the patience for four hours, I recommend starting at track 45 and listening to the end, as the Mass Effect 3 portion is the strongest in my opinion.

UNDER THE CUT FOR DESCRIPTIONS WE GO!

FIRST MOVEMENT - MASS EFFECT 1

1. Atlas - Coldplay Eden Prime

“Sometimes the wire Must tense for the note Caught in the fire, say oh We're about to explode“

I really like the atmosphere of this song. It’s ominous, but also somehow hopeful, and makes me feel like Something Huge Is Coming.

2. I Will Not Sing A Hateful Song - Constantines Paragon Shepard

“But I was also born and raised To always speak and listen clear To know the last sound that I make Could be the last sound that I hear“

OK, listen, I think this song is about vampires, and I’m not sure if it’s supposed to be a metaphor or not. But I think this is a great song about controlling one’s temper, about knowing that you have to Rise Above the parts of you that want to lash out sometimes to get things done and have peace. Seeing as how paragon Shepard, to me, always seems like they’re three deep breaths away from snapping, but manage to keep it in check, it fits them to a T.

And also maybe they’re a vampire.

3. Hard to Kill - Beth Crowley Renegade Shepard

“So I let the rumors Turn me into a legend 'Cause I'm only human But a good myth is hard to kill”

This one’s a recent addition, but holy cow, I love it for Renegade Shep, particularly an Earthborn or Ruthless, but it works for any of them.

4. We Own the Skies - Five Iron Frenzy Joker

“My hands are bleeding where they often crack The stars will sometimes burn with longing Through the choking black Of night shifts piling each against the next”

This really vibes with Joker’s backstory for me, his super driven serious self in flight school, contrasted with who he is when he can fly a ship. He’s the best pilot in the goddamn fleet and I love him.

5. I Just Wanna See - Smash Mouth Kaidan Alenko

“Mister moon checkin' on how y'all livin' The stars all winkin' at the day that's dimmin' I just wanna see”

This song fits into his reactions to first showing up at the Citadel and his former romanticism about living in space. Ironically, it’s a song about Earth, but I feel like it works well for him. Also, Smash Mouth absolutely sounds like the kind of music Kaidan would listen to, no I will not be taking questions or constructive criticism.

6. Don’t Give Up - Noisettes Ashley Williams

“She's got a talented face and a suitcase Ain't got no desire to go no place In her case she's got no desire with her hand in the flame say's she don't feel the fire “

The energy of this song is just perfect for Ashley’s no-nonsense chip on her shoulder attitude.

7. About As Helpful As You Can Be Without Being Any Help At All - Dan Mangan The Council

“I was thrown in the boat/Cast out to sea Friendly with waves/There were sharks below Hungry for me/So I dangled my leg”

I mean, the title says it all.

8. The Captain - Guster Anderson

“Courageous, just like the captain Marching forward with no doubt in his head”

I have adored this song ever since my friend played it for me, and it’s the ultimate mentor-protégé jam for me.

9. Secret Agent Man - Johnny Rivers Garrus Vakarian

“Here's a man who leads a life of danger To everyone he meets he stays a stranger Oh, with every move he makes another chance he takes The odds are he won't live to see tomorrow”

I have to poke a little fun at Garrus and how seriously he takes himself in Mass Effect 1. I romanced him across four playthrus, I’m allowed!

10. I’m Getting Too Old For This Shit - Kill Lincoln Urdnot Wrex

“This random apathy/I swear it's killing me But I guess it's all the same, till the devil knows my name”

I don’t know ANYTHING about this band, but this song fits Wrex’s disillusionment with the Krogan well, plus, like. The title. (And also, that he secretly DOES care what happens to the Krogan.)

11. Bird Song - Juniper Vale Tali’zorah nar Rayya

“I want to dance on the horizon line But there is something I am caged behind I have a heart made for take flight But I'm low, so low”

I adore this song and the sound of Juniper Vale in general. The etherealness of this one, combined with the youthful optimism, feels very Tali. The line about ‘something I am caged behind’ works well for the suits, too. This one’s especially good if you’re a Talimancer!

12. 11. Green Garden - Laura Mvula Liara T’Soni

“And I’ll fly on the wings of a butterfly High as a tree top and down again Putting my bag down, taking my shoes off Walk on the carpet of green velvet”

I really like this song’s vibes and I feel like Liara fits it well, particularly in ME1, before all her youthful optimism is stripped from her. The scenery descriptions feel very Thessia, too.

13. Feed Me (Git It) - Little Shop of Horrors The Thorian 

“The guy sure looks like plant food to me!”

Do you get it. Do you get my joke. It’s because the Thorian is a plant that eats people. (I’m not funny)

14. Blindness - Metric Matriarch Benezia

“I was a blind fool, never complained All the survivors singing in the rain “

I don’t love the use of blind here as a negative, albeit metaphorical, descriptor, but I think this song fits Benezia’s indoctrination and death well. If you have suggestions for another, though, let me know!

15. Technologic - Daft Punk Saren

“Buy it, use it, break it, fix it, trash it, change it, mail, upgrade it”

I just think it’s Neat

16. Watershed - Vienna Teng The Reapers

“ While you were building your empires I was still sleeping”

I think this is the song that inspired the entire playlist. Vienna Teng sat down and decided to write a song from the perspective of a natural disaster, and it’s so ominous and gut-wrenching.

17. Hourglass - The Hush Sound Virmire

“This is how it ends We believe every lie and say we'll be friends How long will it last? Before we scratch all the scripts and we rework the cast “

hahahahah rework the cast get it because you have to pick who DIES

Seriously tho I really like this song for Virmire and that moment of choice that feels like it lasts 100 years on some playthroughts.

18. Pompeii - Bastille The Siege of the Citadel

“ And the walls kept tumbling down In the city that we love”

Throwback to when this song was on the radio like three times an hour. Which is around the time I made the first draft of this playlist, incidentally! It’s such a good Final Battle Jam for the Citadel, and the part about “if you close your eyes/does it almost feel like nothing’s changed at all” I think work really well for Shepard in this sequence. Shepard knew the Reapers were coming, had been fighting them all along; this attack on the Citadel is just retreading familiar territory for them, as horrifying as the war being brought to their doorstep is for the Citadel’s citizens and the council. James Vega has some good dialogue about that kind of thing in ME3.

INTERLUDE THE FIRST

19. Starships - Nicki Minaj The Normandy Crew

Starships were meant to fly Hands up and touch the sky

I like to have a little fun OK

20. Gravity - Yoko Kanno The Death of Commander Shepard

“Am I alone? is somebody there beyond these heavy aching feet still the road keeps on telling me to go on”

Welcome to mood whiplash, it’s my specialty! This is the part where you die. I think it also works for her coma very well, when she’s just drifting between life and death, not sure what’s going on, but something keeps trying to pull her back to the world.

SECOND MOVEMENT - MASS EFFECT 2

21. The Phoenix - Fall Out Boy The Lazarus Project

“Hey young blood, doesn't it feel like our time is running out? I'm gonna change you like a remix Then I'll raise you like a phoenix “

this song has no right to go as hard as it does and if  you think it’s melodramatic shut up

22. My Body Is A Cage - Peter Gabriel Commander Shepard

“I'm living in an age Whose name I don't know Though the fear keeps me moving Still my heart beats so slow “

This works particularly well if you romanced The Virmire Survivor, but this song captures the energy of Shepard freaking out bc they are trapped with Cerberus, because Cerberus rebuilt their body from the ground up. That jarring, caged feeling is so palpable in ME2 that when they gave me back Joker the first time I played, I BURST INTO SOBS from relief.

23. The Lady is a Vamp - The Spice Girls Miranda Lawson

“That's all in the past, legends built to last But she's got something new”

Listen. She’s a bond babe. Handbags, heels and pistols rock. She’s got class. This is a song about Miranda. That is all.

24. Kryptonite - 3 Doors Down Jacob Taylor

“ I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon After all I knew, it had to be something to do with you “

This one’s about the Vibes for me. Also can apply to his past relationship with Miranda. I’m also super showing my age on this song, oof haha.

25. Stable Song - Death Cab For Cutie Colony Abduction

“Rows of deserted houses all Our stable mates highway bound “

I really like the mood of this one for showing up on the very first abducted colony, the eerieness and sadness of it all and Shepard’s resolve to do something about it.

26. Konichiwa Bitches - Robyn Kasumi Goto

“I'm so very hot that when I rob your mansion You ain't call the cops, you call the fire station”

THAT COUPLET ALONE MAKES THE ENTIRE SONG. I love how playful and cheeky it is.

27. Seven Nation Army Glitch Mob Remix - The White Stripes, Glitch Mob Zaeed Massani

“And I'm talking to myself at night Because I can't forget Back and forth through my mind Behind a cigarette”

Pretty sure we all had this on some playlist or another when it came out, and it’s the perfect Badass With A Grudge song.

28. Science is Real - They Might Be Giants Mordin Solus

“ And when a theory emerges Consistent with the facts The proof is with science The truth is with science “

This one actually got added by my wife to replace a song that wasn’t on Spotify, but that has the same energy; Hank Green’s “I Fucking Love Science”. I get more into the emotional side of Mordin in the ME3 section, but I also really just love his Hamster On Coffee energy and this song captures it really well.

29. Prove Yourself - Radiohead Garrus Vakarian

“I can't afford to breathe in this town Nowhere to sit without a gun in my hand Hooked back up to the cathode ray

I'm better off dead “

The absolute rock bottom mental state Garrus is in when you get back to him in ME2 is so heartwrenching. Might not always agree with my boy’s methods, but he’s one of my favorite fictional characters of all time.

30. Rat a Tat - Fallout Boy Feat. Courtney Love Jack

“We are professional ashes of roses, this kerosene's live You settled your score, this is where you come to beg”

It helps that Courtney Love sounds exactly like Jack to me, NGL.

31. Defeat You - Smash Mouth Grunt

“Hey I know what you've done It makes it that much better to defeat you “

Only I am brave enough to put two songs by Smash Mouth on the same playlist, to be shared in 2021

32. The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot - Brand New Horizon/The Virmire Survivor

“If it makes you less sad I will die by your hand Hope you find out what you want Already know what I am “

Hits harder if you romanced the Virmire Survivor. Mostly from Shep’s perspective. This is a Shep that feels Bad after that encounter rather than Mad, so Your Mileage May Vary.

33. Violet Stars Happy Hunting! - Janelle Monae Tali’zorah vas Neema

“I'm an alien from outer space I'm a cyber-girl without a face a heart or a mind”

I just like the vibes of this one for Tali! I know it’s more about an actual AI but...IDK. I like it. So there.

34. Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd Thane Krios

“There is no pain you are receding A distant ship smoke on the horizon”

This song works both on a Literal level with his Kepral’s syndrome struggles, but also Metaphorical re: his Battle Sleep. Plus, Thane is a dad, so he gets Dad Rock.

35. My Medea - Vienna Teng Samara

“For I have made her prison be Her every step away from me And this child I would destroy If you tried to set her free “

Mom of the year award, here

36. Toxic - Britney Spears Morinth

“There's no escape, I can't wait I need a hit, baby, give me it You're dangerous, I'm loving it”

If Morinth weren’t so under-utilized after recruitment and didn’t get killed off in the background of ME3 I’d probably actually recruit her sometimes. I almost did on my most recent playthru bc that Shepard just HATES SPACE COPS. Anyway the song explains itself

37. Turn me On - David Guetta feat. Nicki Minaj EDI/The Collector Attack

“My body needs a hero Come and save me Something tells me you know how to save me”

I know this song is a metaphor but also it works really well both literally and metaphorically for Joker saving EDI

38. Robots - Dan Mangan Legion

“Robots need love too They want to be loved by you “

The Geth just want to live peacefullyyyyyy 

39. Be Still - The Killers Love Interest Theme

“Be still / someday you’ll leave fearlessness on your sleeve”

This song works so well for the night before Omega-4. If you had an ME2 love interest, anyway. Also “fearlessness on your sleeve” is one of my favorite set of words ever written.

40. No Cars Go - Arcade Fire The Omega-4 Relay

“We know a place no spaceships go We know a place where no subs go “

This one’s pretty literal.

41. Rocketman - Elton John Suicide Mission

“ And I think it's gonna be a long, long time 'Til touchdown brings me 'round again to find I'm not the man they think I am at home “

I like sneaking some Classics onto my playlists, and I think this is how I generally approach Shepard’s mindset during the Suicide Mission, mostly the chorus. I’m also a sucker for ballads during action sequences. This one isn’t a perfect 1:1 but the Vibes check out.

42. Blast Off - David Guetta feat. Kaz James The Normandy Crew

“Got all my people with me And none of us give a fuck So put dem hands up higher Let's smash this party up”

You have to imagine they partied HARD after recovering from Suicide Mission, but before Shep got arrested, right??? This is the Starships for ME2.

INTERLUDE THE SECOND

43. I’m Not Your Hero - Tegan and Sara Liara T’soni

“ Feeling like I am now lighting up the hall I was used to standing in the shadow of a damaged heart Learning all I know now, losing all I did I never used to feel like I'd be standing so far ahead “

This feels like a good coming of age moment for Liara, as she copes with the choices she made in the 2 years of Shepard’s death (giving them to Cerberus), losing Feron, etc. This is her coming into her own as the Shadow Broker. She’s not meant to be an uncomplicated Big Damn Hero, but she can do good from this position.

44. The Well and the Lighthouse - Arcade Fire The Alpha Relay Incident

“I'm serving time All for a crime I did commit You want the truth? You know I'd do it all again“

These opening lines I feel capture the Alpha Relay Incident really well, and how Shepard did what they HAD to do there, and would do it again, but it still feels like shit. I always wished there was more choice on that mission, but also, having something like that happen without player agency is interesting. Shepard is at their most interesting, I think, in times where we DON’T have a say in what happens to them.

45. Reignite - Malukah Commander Shepard

“Crush my heart into embers, and I will reignite”

Is it cheating to use a Mass Effect fan song on my playlist? I certainly don’t think so, and this is the best Mass Effect fan song ever written.

THIRD MOVEMENT - MASS EFFECT 3

46. This Is War - Thirty Seconds to Mars Leaving Earth

“It's the moment of truth, and the moment to lie The moment to live and the moment to die The moment to fight, the moment to fight To fight, to fight, to fight “

It feels Too Easy to use this here but I’m gonna anyway. You’ve seen AMVs of this set to everything. It’s the ending song of DA:O. It’s the quintessential World At War song.

47. Battleborn - The Killers James Vega

“Up against the wall There's something dying on the street When they knock you down You're gonna get back on your feet”

James Vega is massively underrated and I will love him til I’m cold in the ground. Aro icon.

48. Handlebars - Flobots The Illusive Man

“I can hand out a million vaccinations Or let 'em all die of exasperation Have 'em all healed of their lacerations Have 'em all killed by assassination”

The way this song escalates fits TIM and Cerberus’s fall back into being Just Full On Evil really well. Perfect song for a power trip.

49. Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect - The Decemberists The Virmire Survivor

“And I am nothing of a builder But here I dreamt I was an architect And I built this balustrade To keep you home, to keep you safe From the outside world”

I like this song for how the Virmire Survivor feels about their survivor’s guilt and also about Shepard. I honestly wish they were both more heavily utilized in ME2 and 3, but I realize it’s hard to write a ton of content for characters who just aren’t in half of all peoples’ playthrus.

50. Heaven Knows - The Pretty Reckless Grisson Academy

“One, two, three and four, the devil's knocking at your door Caught in the eye of a dead man's lie Show your life with your head held high“

This song is so perfect for Jack and her biotic kids that she’s one of the only returning characters that gets her own song on this playlist

51. The Great Fire - OK Go Javik

“But when the flames die down, and everything is gone, Will there be fire under the ashes still?”

Self explanatory. Javik is the fire remaining under the ashes.

52. Bring the Hammer Down - Paragon Priority: Tuchanka/Kalros

“ Hammer strikes the anvil A rage that breaks the chain Strikes down like a lightening In our ranks “

KALROOOOOS

53. Wake Up - Arcade Fire Curing The Genophage/Mordin Solus

“If the children don't grow up, Our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up. We're just a million little gods causin' rain storms, turnin' every good thing to Rust I guess we'll just have to adjust”

I just really love this song as an image of Mordin’s spirit looking out over Tuchanka as the genophage cure is dispersed, and watching over future generations. If you didn’t cure the genophage, how dare you. No song for you.

Anyway started tearing up listening to this one while writing the description don’t look at me

54. Ballad of a Politician - Regina Spektor Councillor Udina/Priority Citadel 2

“A man inside a room is shaking hands with other men This is how it happens/Our carefully laid plans”

traitor

55. Cyborgs vs. Robots - Ludo The Geth-Quarian War

“But your iron fist will never knock me down 'Cause I'm powered By a conscious right to conduct my life without fear.”

This is probably a bit silly for this awful war. But also. It does fit. You can’t tell me it doesn’t. Just save them both at the end and you can feel fine having some fun with it!

56. Artificial Heart - Jonathan Coulton The Geth

“It's not a real heart It is a real artificial heart”

Just a little fun with the Geth! This works best with Reaper Upgrades.

57. With A Little Help From My Friends - Joe Anderson, Jim Sturgess The Citadel DLC

“What do you see when you turn out the light? I can't tell you, but I know it's mine

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends”

I happen to prefer this version to any other because of how much fun it sounds like they’re having

58. Dark In Here - The Mountain Goats Priority: Earth

“Steal away at sundown, pick a place to hide Check for signs of ambush, hunker down inside Tired of running, tired of never standing still Hear them riding up the hill“

You know I had to get the Goats in here. Would it be a fan playlist if there wasn’t one?

59. Adieu - Yoko Kanno Leaving your Love Interest/Shepard and the Beam

“My love for you burns deep inside me / So strong Embers of times we had And now, here I stand / Lost in a memory I see your face, and smile”

...do I need to say more than that?

60. My Way (Minor Key) - Chase Holfelder The Indoctrination of The Illusive Man

“Regrets, I've had a few/But then again, too few to mention I did what I had to do/I saw it through, without exemption“

This cover takes this song from something I tolerate when I hear it to one of my FAVORITE songs. The frenzied way he sings the “through it all” verse is PEAK Indoctrinated TIM.

61. I’m Alive - Disturbed Refusal 

“There will never be a reason why I will surrender to your advice To change myself, I'd rather die/Though they will not understand”

Honestly I didn’t “get” the Refusal ending until I heard this song, then I was like, OH, I SEE IT ALL SO CLEARLY NOW. This is my favorite in-universe Shepard take on the Refusal ending. I always got it from the player’s perspective of being dissatisfied with the options, but this one puts it into the world for me. This is a Shepard who does not trust the Starchild. This is a Shepard that chooses to end things on their own terms rather than submit to their designs.

62. Machine - Regina Spektor Control 

“I collect my moments Into a correspondence With a mightier power Who just lacks my perspective And who lacks my organics And who covets my defects “

I used to have Adieu here, actually, because like Refusal, I didn’t used to GET the Control ending. Now, I do, in part thanks to hearing this song. I mean, just go look at the full lyrics. If this song hadn’t been written years before the end of Mass Effect 3, I’d swear it was a fan song for it.

63. Maybe Tomorrow - Yuki Kajiura Destroy 

“The moon is gone And the night is still so dark I'm a little bit afraid of tomorrow“

I’m a Destroy Ending person, I won’t lie. Full on “the starchild is a liar and my synthetic friends are FINE” indoctrination theory level destroy ending. But this song is not about that. It’s about the canonical destroy ending, and if you prefer a Shep that survives it, this song’s for you.

This song captures the exhaustion and melancholy of the end of a long journey so well. Shepard is afraid of what comes next, the collateral damage resulting from their actions. But they know that, at least, it’s over now. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

64. Waiting For the End - Linkin Park Synthesis

“ I know what it takes to move on I know how it feels to lie All I wanna do is trade this life for something new Holding on to what I haven't got”

This is one of my favorite songs of all time. The hardest part of ending is starting again. Oof. Gets me every single time. Shepard finding the resolve to sacrifice themself for the hope of something better, of things not going how they planned, ever, of learning to make peace with that and the people who loved them learning to carry on without them? OOF.

65. Shine - Vienna Teng Epilogue

“Shine with all the untold Hold the light given unto you Find the love to unfold In this broken world we choose“

Vienna Teng is a master of capturing life’s softer emotions, and this fits perfectly with the epilogue scene for me. Tell me again about the Shepard.

“Find the love to unfold in this broken world we choose” has to be one of the greatest lines about the human experience ever written.

[ladyofasoiaf]

ADWD:  Daenerys vs Jon

In this meta, I will try to find the clues of Dance of Dragons 2.0 in Daenerys and Jon ADWD chapters. 

(I will be pointing out how these two are meant to be against each other) 

Mostly: I will examine the chapters that follow each other. 

Let’s start...

A) ADWD; Daenerys I & Jon I:

Daenerys I:

He lifted the sack, and spilled its contents on the marble. Bones they were, broken bones and blackened. The longer ones had been cracked open for their marrow. “It were the black one,” the man said, in a Ghiscari growl, “the winged shadow. He come down from the sky and … and …” No. Dany shivered. No, no, oh no. “Are you deaf, fool?” Reznak mo Reznak demanded of the man. “Did you not hear my pronouncement? See my factors on the morrow, and you shall be paid for your sheep.” “Reznak,” Ser Barristan said quietly, “hold your tongue and open your eyes. Those are no sheep bones.” No, Dany thought, those are the bones of a child.

[ADWD; Daenerys I]

Dany’s dragon Drogon burns a child

Let’s look Jon chapter that comes after this Dany chapter:

Jon I:

Burning dead children had ceased to trouble Jon Snow; live ones were another matter. Two kings to wake the dragon. The father first and then the son, so both die kings. The words had been murmured by one of the queen’s men as Maester Aemon had cleaned his wounds. Jon had tried to dismiss them as his fever talking. Aemon had demurred. “There is power in a king’s blood,” the old maester had warned, “and better men than Stannis have done worse things than this.” The king can be harsh and unforgiving, aye, but a babe still on the breast? Only a monster would give a living child to the flames.

[ADWD; Jon I]

GRRM knew exactly what he was doing by making this chapter follow the Dany one. 

Only monsters burn children= Dragons are monsters. 

Even Dany says so. And Dany calls herself a monster too in her second chapters:

Daenerys II:

Mother of dragons, Daenerys thought. Mother of monsters. What have I unleashed upon the world? A queen I am, but my throne is made of burned bones, and it rests on quicksand. Without dragons, how could she hope to hold Meereen, much less win back Westeros? I am the blood of the dragon, she thought. If they are monsters, so am I.

[ADWD; Daenerys II]

Monsters burn children= Dragons are monsters = Dany is a monster

This ADWD; Dany II chapter comes after ADWD; Jon III.

Let’s keep reading Jon I chapter:

Jon I:

Stannis read from the letter. “Bear Island knows no king but the King in the North, whose name is STARK. A girl of ten, you say, and she presumes to scold her lawful king.” 

[ADWD; Jon I]

Like Daenerys, Stannis also believes that he is the only lawful and true ruler, he sacrifices people to flames, he listens what flames tell him, he wants everyone to bend the knee to him.

Also let’s not forget about the Dragonstone and Azor Ahai parallels between Dany and Stannis. 

Just like Lyanna Mormont doesn’t bend the knee to Stannis; the other Northern lords won’t accept Daenerys either. 

Stannis sees Jon as his key to the North. But Jon made his choice and he chose family and honor over his own desire of becoming the Lord of Winterfell:

“By right Winterfell should go to my sister Sansa.”

[ADWD; Jon I]

Daenerys might also see Jon as her key to the North in the future books but Jon will always choose his honor as a Stark and his Stark family. 

Lonely and lovely and lethal, Jon Snow reflected, and I might have had her. Her, and Winterfell, and my lord father’s name. Instead he had chosen a black cloak and a wall of ice. Instead he had chosen honor. A bastard’s sort of honor.

[ADWD; Jon III]

This also comes before a Dany chapter:

[About Jon choosing Sansa and him becoming her hero, please check: Jon x Sansa Book Hints: C12, C13, E2 ]

B) ADWD; Daenerys III & Jon IV:

Daenerys III:

The next morning Xaro’s galleas was gone, but the “gift” that he had brought her remained behind in Slaver’s Bay. Long red streamers flew from the masts of the thirteen Qartheen galleys, writhing in the wind. And when Daenerys descended to hold court, a messenger from the ships awaited her. He spoke no word but laid at her feet a black satin pillow, upon which rested a single bloodstained glove. “What is this?” Skahaz demanded. “A bloody glove …” “… means war,” said the queen.

[ADWD; Daenerys III]

GLOVE IS OFF AND IT MEANS WAR!

Next chapter is Jon:

Jon IV:

As they did their count, Jon peeled the glove off his left hand and touched the nearest haunch of venison. He could feel his fingers sticking, and when he pulled them back he lost a bit of skin. His fingertips were numb. What did you expect? There’s a mountain of ice above your head, more tons than even Bowen Marsh could count. Even so, the room felt colder than it should. “It is worse than I feared, my lord,” Marsh announced when he was done. He sounded gloomier than Dolorous Edd. Jon had just been thinking that all the meat in the world surrounded them. You know nothing, Jon Snow. “How so? This seems a deal of food to me.”

[ADWD; Jon IV]

Jon takes his glove off and loses skin and maybe it gets even bloody?

In this chapter Jon is having problems with finding food and it is safe to assume that dragons are a threat to realm’s supplies. 

Jon thinks their best hope is untouched Eyrie- where his Tully cousin hides as a bastard: (source: Best Hope is in Eyrie) 

“If we had sufficient coin, we could buy food from the south and bring it in by ship,” the Lord Steward said. We could, thought Jon, if we had the gold, and someone willing to sell us food. Both of those were lacking. Our best hope may be the Eyrie. The Vale of Arryn was famously fertile and had gone untouched during the fighting. Jon wondered how Lady Catelyn’s sister would feel about feeding Ned Stark’s bastard. As a boy, he often felt as if the lady grudged him every bite.

[ADWD; Jon IV]

He once again chooses his Stark family in this chapter:

Which would you have as Lord of Winterfell, Snow? The smiler or the slayer?” Jon said, “Winterfell belongs to my sister Sansa.”

[ADWD; Jon IV]

C) ADWD; Daenerys VII & Jon IX:

Daenerys VII:

This is Dany’s wedding chapter and she learns about her father’s jealousy about married cousins Tywin and Joanna and she also thinks about a love between a Targaryen prince and a Stark lady:

“I want to know. I never knew my father. I want to know everything about him. The good and … the rest.” “As you command.” The white knight chose his words with care. “Prince Aerys … as a youth, he was taken with a certain lady of Casterly Rock, a cousin of Tywin Lannister. When she and Tywin wed, your father drank too much wine at the wedding feast and was heard to say that it was a great pity that the lord’s right to the first night had been abolished. A drunken jape, no more, but Tywin Lannister was not a man to forget such words, or the … the liberties your father took during the bedding.” His face reddened. “I have said too much, Your Grace. I—”

[...]

If he loved you, he would come and carry you off at swordpoint, as Rhaegar carried off his northern girl, the girl in her insisted, but the queen knew that was folly.

[ADWD; Daenerys VII]

Tywin betrayed Aerys and Rhaegar’s love for Lyanna caused a big trouble for the realm... 

And we know that Daenerys is still waiting for a BETRAYAL FOR LOVE. 

The voices were growing louder, she realized, and it seemed her heart was slowing, and even her breath… three treasons will you know… once for blood and once for gold and once for love…

[…]  

A blue flower grew from a chink in a wall of ice, and filled the air with sweetness… mother of dragons, bride of fire…  

[ACOK; Daenerys IV]

And next chapter is Jon who is a secret Targaryen and the son of Prince Rhaegar and Lyanna Stark. 

So Jon comes after betrayer Tywin. (betrayal)

He is the son of Rhaegar and Lyanna.. (love)

Who is the cousin? 

Well A SISTER comes to him in this chapter: 

A grey girl on a dying horse. Melisandre’s fires had not lied, it would seem. 

[ADWD; Jon IX]

According to Melisandre’s vision this “grey girl” should have been Jon’s sister but Alys Karstark came to him. 

“I have seen your sister in my fires, fleeing from this marriage they have made for her. Coming here, to you. A girl in grey on a dying horse, I have seen it plain as day. It has not happened yet, but it will.”  

[ADWD; Jon VI]

But in truth Jon’s only sister Rhaenys is dead and the only sisters Jon knows are his COUSINS actually. 

Which cousin? The one that fits into the “grey girl” prophecy. Sansa Stark... Who is now facing a new marriage. 

According to fan made reading order for AFFC & ADWD: (source: AFFC&ADWD reading order)

ADWD; Jon IX chapter is following AFFC;  Alayne II chapter where she learns about Petyr’s plans of marrying her with Harry Hardyng. 

So according to same reading order, this Alayne chapter comes between this Daenerys chapter and Jon chapter. 

[About Jon and Sansa being Dany’s betrayal for love and doom please read: Jon x Sansa Book Hints: B4, D4, E6 ]

So the fake grey girl that comes after Dany chapter gives us the clues of Dany’s last betrayal for love by pointing out two cousins who are a Targaryen prince and a Stark lady. 

Let’s continue with ADWD; Jon IX: 

Queen Selyse descended upon Castle Black with her daughter and her daughter’s fool, her serving girls and lady companions, and a retinue of knights, sworn swords, and men-at-arms fifty strong. Queen’s men all, Jon Snow knew. They may attend Selyse, but it is Melisandre they serve.

[ADWD; Jon IX]

We know that Jon dislikes Queen Selyse and he knows that she is actually a puppet of Melisandre. 

In one of his ADWD chapters he describes Selyse like this:

A word from Melisandre, and she would walk into the fire willingly, embrace it like a lover.

[ADWD; Jon X]

This description reminds me Daenerys Targaryen. 

Who did walk into flames willingly and embrace it like a lover? Daenerys Targaryen: 

She had sensed the truth of it long ago, Dany thought as she took a step closer to the conflagration, but the brazier had not been hot enough. The flames writhed before her like the women who had danced at her wedding, whirling and singing and spinning their yellow and orange and crimson veils, fearsome to behold, yet lovely, so lovely, alive with heat. Dany opened her arms to them, her skin flushed and glowing. This is a wedding, too, she thought.

[…]

And now the flames reached her Drogo, and now they were all around him. [...] Part of her wanted to go to him as Ser Jorah had feared, to rush into the flames to beg for his forgiveness and take him inside her one last time, the fire melting the flesh from their bones until they were as one, forever.

[…]

A rising heat puffed at her face, soft and sudden as a lover’s breath…

[AGOT; Daenerys X]

The interesting thing is that a Daenerys chapter follows this Jon X chapter where he describes Selyse.

Let’s keep reading Jon IX: 

If he is not a kinslayer, he is the next best thing. Axell Florent’s brother had been burned by Melisandre, Maester Aemon had informed him, yet Ser Axell had done little and less to stop it. What sort of man can stand by idly and watch his own brother being burned alive?

[ADWD; Jon IX]

another Daenerys hint: Dany-Viserys or Jon killing his kin maybe?

“Salladhor Saan?” “The Lysene pirate? Some say he has returned to his old haunts, this is so. And Lord Redwyne’s war fleet creeps through the Broken Arm as well. On its way home, no doubt. But these men and their ships are well-known to us. No, these other sails … from farther east, perhaps … one hears queer talk of dragons.” “Would that we had one here. A dragon might warm things up a bit.” “My lord jests. You will forgive me if I do not laugh. We Braavosi are descended from those who fled Valyria and the wroth of its dragonlords. We do not jape of dragons.” No, I suppose not. “My apologies, Lord Tycho.”

[ADWD; Jon IX]

Jon is warned against dragons.

D) ADWD; Daenerys IX & Jon XI:

Daenerys IX 

Dizzy, Dany closed her eyes. When she opened them again, she glimpsed the Meereenese beneath her through a haze of tears and dust, pouring up the steps and out into the streets. The lash was still in her hand. She flicked it against Drogon’s neck and cried, “Higher!” Her other hand clutched at his scales, her fingers scrabbling for purchase. Drogon’s wide black wings beat the air. Dany could feel the heat of him between her thighs. Her heart felt as if it were about to burst. Yes, she thought, yes, now, now, do it, do it, take me, take me, FLY!

[ADWD; Daenerys IX]

Daenerys rides Drogon for the first time and this looks like an orgasmic experience but don’t let it fool you: people in Meereen are not happy because they are dying etc... 

Next chapter is realm’s shield Jon:

Jon XI

Jon clasped the offered hand. The words of his oath rang through his head. I am the sword in the darkness. I am the watcher on the walls. I am the fire that burns against the cold, the light that brings the dawn, the horn that wakes the sleepers, the shield that guards the realms of men. And for him a new refrain: I am the guard who opened the gates and let the foe march through. He would have given much and more to know that he was doing the right thing. But he had gone too far to turn back. “Done and done,” he said.

[ADWD; Jon XI]

He remembers his oath about protecting the realm.

He thinks Ghost (his Stark side) is the only protection he needs:

Ghost was the only protection Jon needed; the direwolf could sniff out foes, even those who hid their enmity behind smiles.

[ADWD; Jon XI]

Jon wants to scream that fire obsessed queen is not his queen. And he wants Selyse and Melisandre gone. 

[Stannis + Melisandre + Selyse = Daenerys]

Val’s playful smile died. “You have my word, Lord Snow. I will be a proper wildling princess for your queen.” She is not my queen, he might have said. If truth be told, the day of her departure cannot come too fast for me. And if the gods are good, she will take Melisandre with her.

[ADWD; Jon XI]

A northern princess doesn’t bend the knee to fire obsessed queen:

“The queen’s face hardened. “A grievous oversight.” What faint traces of warmth her voice had held vanished all at once. “Free folk do not kneel,” Val told her. “Then they must be knelt,” the queen declared.“Do that, Your Grace, and we will rise again at the first chance,” Val promised. “Rise with blades in hand.”

[ADWD; Jon XI]

Jon remembers his Night’s Watch oath AGAIN:

“I know what I swore.” Jon said the words. “I am the sword in the darkness. I am the watcher on the walls. I am the fire that burns against the cold, the light that brings the dawn, the horn that wakes the sleepers, the shield that guards the realms of men. Were those the same words you said when you took your vows?”

[ADWD; Jon XI]

So as we can see Daenerys’ bonding with her dragon doesn’t seem like a good omen for Westeros. But at least we have our shield and warrior: Jon SNOW. 

We are done with the chapters that follow each other but I am going to look at Daenerys’ last POV in ADWD too:

BONUS: 

ADWD; Daenerys X:

A wolf howls when she thinks about her betrayals and it makes her sad and lonely but not less hungry:

Yet who else could it have been? Reznak, her perfumed seneschal? The Yunkai’i? The Sons of the Harpy? Off in the distance, a wolf howled. The sound made her feel sad and lonely, but no less hungry. As the moon rose above the grasslands, Dany slipped at last into a restless sleep.

[ADWD; Daenerys X]

Ants, which are coming from a WALL, bite Dany:

It turned out that their anthill was on the other side of her wall. She wondered how the ants had managed to climb over it and find her. To them these tumbledown stones must loom as huge as the Wall of Westeros. The biggest wall in all the world, her brother Viserys used to say, as proud as if he’d built it himself.

[ADWD; Daenerys X]

Wolves and crows are not good signs for her:

My flesh will feed the wolves and carrion crows, she thought sadly, and worms will burrow through my womb. 

[ADWD; Daenerys X]

She embraces “Fire and Blood”:

No. You are the blood of the dragon. The whispering was growing fainter, as if Ser Jorah were falling farther behind. Dragons plant no trees. Remember that. Remember who you are, what you were made to be. Remember your words. “Fire and Blood,” Daenerys told the swaying grass.

[ADWD; Daenerys X]

In conclusion: Daenerys will be dangerous for Westeros. It seems like Jon and Starks will be against Daenerys at some point and in the end Daenerys will meet her doom because of them.. 

Thanks for reading... 

[tetriquinn]

Dream SMP locations/moments/characters as their respective canon Homestuck songs.

/rp /dreamsmp (based on characters, not creators)

Source: I said so.

SUPER LONG LMAO

The links go with the descriptions above them. Mobile formatting makes the list really confusing. Sorry about that.

The entire SMP. I tried to assign this to a specific event but I couldn't. Eternity is just too powerful. It literally has the best moment in all of Homestuck music history. That kind of raw energy cannot be defined by a single event. [Eternity Served Cold] Tommy, Tubbo, and Wilbur joining - L'Manburg War

[Sburban Jungle]

Pogtopia/Manburg War

[Welcome to the New Extreme]

The First Disc War(s, if you include the other disc-related conflicts)

[Showtime - Imp Strife]

The first half of the Final Disc War

[You Killed My Father (Prepare To Die)]

The second half of the Final Disc War

[Showtime - Piano Refrain]

The Eggpire after Tommy died (Yes I know I’ve made this joke before shut up it was my best meme)

The Banquet. Before the... y’know... murder part.

Actually no, The Banquet including the murder part.

[Pumpkin Party]

Ghostbur entering the prison

[Love You]

Revivedbur exiting the prison (er, just kinda showing up where he died I guess

[Hate You]

Manburg Festival (October 16th)

[Harlequin]

January 5th (New L'Manburg Festival + Ranboo's Panic Room)

[Dark Carnival]

The period between Tommy's death in the Prison and Tommy's revival

[Heir Of Grief]

Ranboo & Fundy's ice cream shop; Niki & Puffy's flower shop

[Moonsetter]

Revivedbur and Quackity with the burger shops

[Beatdown]

Ranboo and Tubbo with the burger shops

[Candles And Clockwork]

Jack Manifold. Just. In general. (AND NO IT’S NOT JUST A SOLLUX JOKE YEAH THAT’S RIGHT I SAW ONE OF YOU FUCKERS MEDIA SHARE THIS ONE TO HIM LAST WEEK)

[La2t Frontiier]

That little arc where Tubbo was trying to be a detective instead of mourning the violent and brutal death of his best friend

[BL1ND JUST1C3]

Doomsday

[Even In Death - T’Morra]

What? You thought I was going to say Carne Vale? You thought Doomsday was [S]: Game Over? Amateurs.

When Dream and Techno inevitably break out of the prison because let’s be real that’s happening one way or another (bonus points if Techno finds out about Dream manipulating Ranboo and goes apeshit)

[Carne Vale]

My DSMP sona when she encounters someone who manipulated the kids

Las Nevadas/ Casino Q

[Black]

The Syndicate lmfaooooooooo (I’m only half kidding here)

[I’m A Member Of The Midnight Crew but it’s the nice a capella version that everyone likes because it’s objectively the best one]

That one time Tubbo finally went to visit Tommy in exile and thought he [S] Game Over’d himself

[Flare]

The stream where they created Church Prime

[Creata]

PLEASE let Tommy just go apeshit ONE time every time he does even one SMALL THING for himself the entire fucking universe turns on him please he deserves to let it all out and kick actual fucking ASS EVEN ONE TIME COME ON

[Valor]

Tales From The SMP/ Karl in General

[Temporal Shenanigans]

Karl’s karaoke nights (yes I know this one isn’t a canon song but it’s a mix of 3 canon songs plus Space Jam okay it counts)

[Slam Jam]

Anyone remember the Karl Reef?

[Fuchsia Ruler]

Wilbur turning a drug van in the woods into an entire country

[WV: Become the Mayor of Cans]

The Dreamon Hunters, my absolute beloveds. My favorite arc on the entire SMP.

[At The Price Of Oblivion]

Tubbo sitting over the remains of his country on L’Manburgian Independance Day earlier this month (yes I’m spelling it as “Independance” because that’s what their constitution said okay it’s their fault not mine)

[Three In The Morning Aftermath]

Tommy leaving Exile (or him being revived I guess idk)

[Savior of the Waking World]

If Sapnap ever DID ANY LORE COME ON MAN YOU HAVE THE MOST POTENTIAL HERE

[Time On My Side]

The big final battle against The Egg that we never got :(

[Battle Against an Unfathomable Enemy]

Enderwalk Ranboo it’s literally perfect

[Black Rose / Green Sun]

I don’t think I even have to tell you what this is for. Look at the title. You’ll know.(Dream in the Prison in case you’re seeing this way in the future and don’t have this context)

[Constant Confinement]

Ranboo & Fundy doing dumb shit together (the good ol’ days)

[Wacky Antics]

I could use this for an actual, plot-relevant location, but no their SCUFFED-ASS NETHER IT HURTS SO BAD PLEASE SOMEONE JUST FIX IT IT’S SO GARBAGE (except for the portal hub that looks really nice)

[Underworld]

Ranboo’s lil’ Ender particles (chat) jammin to fuckin’ Cabinet Man or some shit during lore

[Arcade Thunder]

Tubbo’s execution

[Trials And Execution]

Clingyduo when they actually get to fight/hang out together canonically

[Skiain Skirmish]

Revivedbur (yes I’m serious)

[Hardchorale]

Dream XD

(I FORGOT IT HAD THE FLOWEY LAUGH AND I GOT WHIPLASH WHILE TYPING THIS DUSIGYUSIHV)

[Lordling]

Dream getting posessed by the Dreamon and having to be exorcised (yeah remember that? Probably not.)

[Sunslammer]

The Inbetween and The Other Side fighting to get Karl to listen (Another one I’m pretty sure is canon)

[Derse Dreamers]

The final battle of the SMP. It’ll happen eventually. It can’t last forever, you know

[Rex Duodecim Angelus]

This went from a shitpost to a very long, fairly accurate (and fairly full of memes) analysis help I’m so tired.

Honorable mentions that I couldn’t add because they’re technically not canon songs:

Eret all the time

[Let Me Dance, Let Me Glisten]

The Eggpire just being able to understand The Egg (I say sarcastically, as if I don’t have this song written in a fictional language memorized)

[Futma Kul Shemtor (Hymn of the Horrorterrors)]