#the last photo is this baby photo of him that was on the shelter's website for a bit but it's gone now lol

[mspaintpetfinder]

mom and i met Caramel! along with Brownie and the other foster kitties :]

his fur is much longer now! i don't think he's actually a domestic shorthair like how he was listed LOL

he's also very sweet! he was pretty sleepy when we got there because he was playing with Brownie in the crate and im sure being around so many strangers tires a little guy like him out

he was very interested in chewing on my jacket and fingers and then he started falling asleep in my arms i wanted to cry i was so happy

ANYWAY this is why i've been really slow on the pet paints these past few days! i've been researching literally everything about owning cats, kittens specifically, and making sure i have enough knowledge to care for him (and possibly Brownie if we convince my step dad!)

we're gonna, hopefully, be filling out adoption forms for this little cheeto! i'm so excited

[redflagshipwriter]

Mama Bat pt3 progress Post

Part 3 Progress

Batcount: Stephanie, Dick

“Danny Fenton, parents declared him dead and claimed they buried him,” Dick said, spinning around in the batcomputer batchair. Anxious, unhappy, too much energy because there's nothing to fight here. “He has an older sister, I think she knows he's in Gotham and she's covering for him. She'll be coming to Gotham University next semester, despite having accepted a better offer from Harvard last year.” 

Steph let out a low, long whistle. “Whatever's going on at home must be bad,” she commented. “No other contacts?”

Dick pulled up a grainy class photo. “He's part of a small friend group, but neither of them have made any unusual moves. If Sam Manson or Tucker Foley get a plane ticket we'll know, but for now?” He shrugged, eyes distant. “Seems like he ran off alone. But probably for really good reasons.” He switched tabs back to the unhinged Fenton works website. He all but vibrated: wanna go, want to run, look, see.

Steph squinted for a few moments, reading. “...We’re going to go see what crimes against nature they're committing, aren't we?” She sounded resigned to it.

Dick shrugged. “It's not ideal,” he said unhappily. “The town is too small for how we normally do our night work. But face out is a big risk.” 

“Maybe we should lean on a friend?” Stephanie suggested. “Someone who has a public role that wouldn't be a problem?” 

“We’ll have to ask Mama Bat.” 

They both turned to look at Cass, who was sitting on a desk. She arched an eyebrow at them. “We ask Danny,” she said pointedly. “He knows best.” 

Stephanie made a face that said she disagreed. 

Cass huffed. “He knows,” she reiterated. He had lived there. He knew the people. “We could make a mess.” She mimed sweeping the stack of Bruce papers off the desk surface and then an expression of exaggerated batdad horror.

Stephanie untensed enough to laugh. 

Cass considered that good enough. She jumped down and patted Dick as she passed. He let out an exaggerated sigh but he powered down the computer and followed her up. “I'm excited to get to meet the little guy,” he said. The lights turned off. All three of them hit the stairs and jogged up. Dick chattered away, tweet tweet tweet. “It's so sweet that Dami latched onto him like this. When I asked what Danny would like as a welcome home gift, he told me that I was a cretin and should not corrupt the baby.” He laughed, high and joyous. It was contagious. Cass found herself laughing with him.

Stephanie squinted at the back of Dick's head as the oldest brother bounded up the stairs. “Damian… likes him?” She confirmed. 

Cass beamed. Of course he did. Danny was a good baby. He and Damian were out now walking dogs at the animal shelter while Alfie did the big weekly shop. 

Dick shrugged. “He gets to be the mentor,” he pointed out. “He’s not the Babiest Bat anymore.” 

“Danny is older than Damian,” Stephanie protested. Cass glared at her. 

“He's baby,” she said firmly. End of conversation. 

[goldenseresinretriever]

One Man’s Trash

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader

Part of the San Diego Dogfighters universe but can be read as a stand-alone

CW: Angst, fluff, suggestive language, medical inaccuracies, hockey inaccuracies etc. No use of Y/N.

Word Count: 3.4k

Series Masterlist

“Bunny come on, just consider it.”

“Jake Seresin,” you place your hands on your hips and try your best to keep a stern expression on your face as your boyfriend gives you puppy eyes rivaling those of the actual dogs on the screen in front of him. This discussion has been occurring more and more often and you’re starting to feel your resolve slipping. Jake wants another dog. With you so early on in your career, you’d expressed your desire to wait to get married and have kids until you’ve had time to get your feet under yourself, and Jake, ever the respectful partner, had supported and agreed with your decision. An unforeseen side effect, however, was that instead of baby fever, your boyfriend has come down with a severe case of puppy fever. He spent every spare moment looking at shelter websites and showing you photo after adorable photo of puppies up for adoption.

It’s not that you don’t want another dog. You love Pudding but she’s always going to feel like Jake’s dog, no matter how much the two of you love each other, to the point that Jake constantly complains that she likes you more than him. And the house is more than capable of housing another pup. Even with its single-floor layout, the backyard is open to the beach and it's perfect for a dog. And yet despite all that, you can’t help the guilt that gnaws at your heart at the idea of leaving yet another dog at home when you and your boyfriend are busy jetting around the continent for work, sometimes for weeks at a time. Sure, right now you had an ideal situation with your parents being empty nesters just two hours away in Anaheim, and more than willing to babysit Pudding while the two of you were out of town, but that was an arrangement formed out of necessity. Willingly bringing another dog into your anything-but-consistent lifestyle made you feel like a bad parent. It was another reason you were holding off on kids. Jake, of course, who was more used to this lifestyle didn’t feel that same guilt the way you did and he’d even gone so far as to bring it up when you were at your parents’ house for dinner last. Your parents enthusiastically expressed their support and willingness to take care of yet another dog should you choose to get one. You know part of that is due to the fact that your parents have decided that despite being their youngest child, you’re likely going to be the source of their first grandchild. They want to be as supportive of your and Jake’s relationship as possible to get to that point since Charlie is married to his job and Tucker’s currently single and busy with his career.

You watch Jake’s brow furrow and feel a different stab of guilt in your chest. You don’t mean to be so cold to him but you just want him to consider your point of view and reservations. The smart thing to do would be to wait until the off-season at least before taking on a new member of your family, but he’s insatiable. “Fine, Bugs,” he says and you feel your heart squeeze at the coldness in his tone. He closes the laptop and gets up from the counter. You feel frustrated tears making your nose tight. You don’t want to fight with Jake but he can just be so damn stubborn sometimes, and while it’s one of your favorite qualities in him, it’s also been a point of contention in your relationship.

You’re left alone in the kitchen, fighting back the tears until a wet nose presses into your hand and you look down, blinking past the tears to smile at Pudding, who’s gazing up at you with concern in her honey eyes. You squat down and wrap your arms around her fluffy neck, burying your face in her fur as the tears escape. She nuzzles you gently, placing a paw on your bent knee, whining softly in concern. When your tears finally stop, you decide to take some space to breathe and grab your keys and Pudding’s leash. You load her into the back seat of your new SUV. Your heart aches at the memory of Jake surprising you with it for your birthday. He’d been chiding you about getting a new car longer than you'd been dating but you’d been hesitant to spend the money, so after a careful line of questioning and a few times he’d been able to coax you to test drive some cars for the hell of it, he’d surprised you with the forest green SUV that was bigger than you needed but Jake insisted it was a safer option than a car.

You feel your heart pinch again as you drive to the nearest dog park, wishing Jake was with you. Going to the dog park as a little family was one of your favorite things to do on your precious days off and you can’t help but feel his absence like a dull ache in your chest. You hate fighting with Jake. By the time you get to the park, you’re ready to turn right back around and go home but you can tell that Pudding’s excited even if she can tell that something’s wrong.

You manage to play for about an hour or so before wrapping up with a long walk around the park and heading home as the sun begins to sink below the horizon. Jake’s not home when you return and your heart sinks. You’re eager to set things right with him, but you force yourself to cook dinner, leaving some out for him, before climbing in the shower. The tears come again, then, at the idea that Jake may not be coming home tonight. Your shoulders shake with sobs as the shower water mixes with your tears. When you finally leave the shower, the water has long since run cold and you get dressed for bed in a daze, exhaustion sitting heavy on your bones.

When you pad out of the bathroom, however, your heart lifts at the sight of Jake sitting in bed, reading whatever coach’s biography he was currently working through. He doesn’t seem to have noticed your presence, that or he’s ignoring you, and if that’s the case you can’t take it. You approach the bed cautiously, climbing in, and Jake starts, “Hey Bunny, how was your sh-“ he’s cut off as you scoot across the bed at lightning speed and curl against his side, inhaling his scent and letting it ground you even as you shudder against him. “Bunny? What’s going on, sweetheart?” He puts the book down, his full attention on you as you don’t answer, and simply curl closer. Jake pulls his arm free from under you and wraps it around your shoulder and you feel your body relax into his touch.

“I’m sorry, Jake.” You blurt and hate the way it sounds wet and weepy as your tears flow once again. He stiffens underneath you and then his other hand reaches for your chin, guiding your face up to his so he can see the tears coursing down your cheeks, alarm in his eyes.

“Sorry for what? Bunny, what’s going on?” You blink, surprise stopping your tears as confusion takes over.

“For earlier, about the dog,” you blubber tearfully. “I hate fighting with you and I should have been more patient-“

“Fighting with me? Bunny, I’m not mad at you,” he says, surprise lighting his eyes flecked with pain. “Was I frustrated in the moment? Yes, but I’m not mad at you sweet girl, I could never be mad at you over something like that.” You blink up at him.

“Then where did you go? You were gone so long I thought you weren’t coming home tonight,” his eyes widen and he wraps his other arm around you, pulling you closer.

“Oh Bunny, I told you this morning I was golfing with the guys this afternoon and we’d probably do drinks after.” You’d completely forgotten about that. “I figured you and Pudding went out to have a girls’ day, I didn’t realize you were upset or I wouldn’t have gone, I’m sorry.” You shake your head against his chest.

“No, I’m sorry, I should have articulated better and not just assumed you were angry at me. And I really am sorry Jake, about telling you no about the puppy. It’s been just as hard for me as it has been for you.” You pause and Jake seems to know you have more to say so he waits patiently. “I haven’t been fair to you. I know I’m asking a lot to wait before we have kids, and you’ve been so respectful of that. And I know this is a natural compromise but I can’t help but think about how irresponsible it feels right now and… it makes me feel like a bad mom.” Your voice gets softer at the end but you know he heard you as he pulls back so he can look you in the eye.

“Bunny, first I want you to know that you should never feel guilty about wanting to wait to have kids. You’re right, neither of us are ready for that right now. I’m lucky enough to have a girlfriend that travels with me to my games, if I had to trade that for kids? I’d pick you every time. Kids can wait, I want to enjoy you, just you, for a little bit longer. Second, I know you just want what’s best for us and this puppy, and I know I’ve been putting a lot of pressure on you to make this happen sooner rather than later and I’m sorry. I know you’re right about waiting until the off-season and I’m sorry I haven’t been receptive.” He leans in to press a kiss between your eyes. “Third, you’re not a bad mom. You never will be, not when you care this much. You’re not impulsive, you’re level-headed and you care so much it hurts you. You’re such a good mom to Pudding and you’re going to be the perfect mom to our future puppy and kids.”

You sniffle, leaning back down to lay your head on Jake’s chest. “I really do want a puppy, you know? I want to raise them together, and I don’t want to miss a single second of it, which is why I want to wait. So know that as much as you want to get one as soon as possible, so do I, the timing just isn’t right right now.” Jake nods above you.

“I know, sweet girl.” He kisses the top of your head. “You know I love you, don’t you?” You nod.

“I know, and I love you too, Jake.”

“That’s my girl. We’re a team, even when we disagree, remember that. And we’re not going to make any decisions for this team without agreeing about it first, okay?” You nod again and he eases the two of you down to lay down in bed, reaching over to turn off the lamp.

***

Two weeks later, you’re running late. You’re supposed to be meeting Jake and the rest of the team at a restaurant downtown now that the game in Anaheim is over. You would have driven up with Jake but you had some things to finish up in San Diego before the game against the Ducks that evening in Anaheim. The guys had decided to drive to the game instead of taking the jet since it’s basically local and they were anxious to spend a day at home after a long road trip even if they had one last road game before the next stretch in San Diego. You’re wrapping up the last of your preparations, Pudding at your side. She doesn't usually attend away games but your parents came to the game and brought her so she can come home with you and Jake after almost two weeks apart. Jake had offered to take Pudding with him but she’d been glued to your side to his dismay. Now she’s waiting patiently as you load up your gear and various forgotten articles you’d found during a final sweep of the locker room. You swing the trunk shut, ready to be on your way.

You turn to Pudding but she’s nowhere in sight and you panic suddenly, turning to look around the deserted parking garage in fear as you call out for her. You hear a yip in response and follow the sound to a large dumpster in one corner of the garage. Pudding’s jumped on top, balancing on the one open lid, and she’s digging around inside, a distressed whine coming from her as you approach. You’re confused. While you and Pudding have become quite close, you haven’t quite managed to grasp the meaning of all her various noises.

“Pud, what’s wrong, honey?” You ask tentatively as he just whines louder and digs more. You approach the dumpster, trying to see what she’s so upset over. Those aren’t her hungry noises, you know that. When you get closer, she grabs your sleeve with her teeth, dragging you even closer and your brow furrows in concern. Something’s definitely wrong. When Pudding realizes you don’t understand, she huffs before jumping into the trash and you let out a yell of surprise. She digs around in the trash and before you can shout at her to get out her head disappears under the trash. You start calling for her frantically, considering whether you should climb in after her when she starts to resurface and that’s when you hear it. It’s weak and muffled but the whimpers are clear as day once you catch the sound. Pudding’s head comes back up and clutched gently in her teeth is the scruff of a puppy. You let out a cry of surprise as you reach out instantly and Pudding gives you a knowing look before passing you the puppy.

He’s skinny, too skinny and there are cuts and tiny sores on his grayish blue body but you recognize him to be a pitbull puppy and his distressed whimpers and whines tell you he’s terrified. You pull him close, curling around him protectively as Pudding pulls herself out of the dumpster and jumps down next to you. You give him a basic once-over before calling to Pudding and heading to the car. He needs to go to the vet for a proper checkup but from what you can tell, he’s okay.

***

You’re pacing around the exam room. The vet’s cleared the little puppy and prescribed him some medicine to help with the sores. Pudding has climbed up on the exam table and is licking at the tiny puppy lovingly, and he seems to be comfortable with her if not still very anxious. You don’t blame him, it’s a new place with new people and he was abandoned in a dumpster before this. He lets out a little whine and you stop your pacing, making your way over to the two dogs, squatting so you’re eye-level with them before smiling at the little guy. You reach out a hand to stroke his tiny head and he licks your fingers as you giggle. Your heart clenches as you spot the dark patch on his chest that looks a little like a heart.

You’re enjoying the moment when Jake bursts through the door to the room, worry on his face. He turns to you instantly.

“Is she okay, what happened?” You’d texted him letting him know you’d be late or possibly miss dinner due to an emergency trip to the vet. You stand up, giving him a shy smile as you gesture to the little pup curled under Pudding’s chin.

“Meet Taz,” you whisper and he whips his head around in confusion until his eyes find the little gray bundle, widening in surprise. He squats down then, reaching a tentative finger out to stroke Taz’s tiny head.

“Hey there little buddy,” he whispers softly and Taz rubs up against his hand. Jake’s face breaks into a grin and scratches behind his ears gently. “Where’d you find this little angel?” Jake asks, turning to look up at you. You shake your head.

“I didn’t, Pudding did. He was buried in a dumpster in the Ducks’ parking garage. Pain passes across Jake’s face as he turns back to the dogs, reaching his other hand to scratch Pudding’s head.

“Good girl, you did so good,” he praises and you can’t help the smile that creeps up your cheeks. “You’re ready to be big sister, huh?” He asks, turning back to you. “So, Taz?” There’s more than one question in his eye and you nod.

“Like the Tasmanian Devil, since we’re already Bugs and Lola.” You shrug as he grins. “I know we talked about waiting, but I feel like we found him for a reason,” you give him a nervous look, “if you’re ready that is?” Jake’s eyes soften, leaning down to kiss Taz’s little head before standing to wrap you in his arms, kissing your head next.

“I’m ready if you are, Bunny.” You nod against his chest.

“I think I am,” you smile and pull back to see Jake smiling too.

“Then I guess our family’s growing by one,” he says, reaching down to scoop up Taz as he ruffles Pudding’s fur with his other hand, his arm looped around you, and you curl against his side, smiling contentedly.

The door to the exam room opens and the doctor walks in, smiling. “You must be Dad, what’s the verdict?” She looks excitedly between the two of you and you smile, leaning back against Jake as he presses another kiss to your head shamelessly.

“We’re keeping him,” Jake confirms and she grins at him, clapping her hands excitedly.

“Congratulations! I’m having my nurses draw up some paperwork and then we can talk about whether you want to get his preliminary vaccinations taken care of today or if you want to wait to take him to your family vet.”

***

That night you’re exhausted by the time you get home. Jake stopped by the pet store to grab some necessities for Taz while you took the puppies home. You left Taz in Pudding’s care while you hopped in the shower. When you pad back into the living room, Jake’s sitting on the floor next to a smaller dog bed he’s placed right by Pudding’s that Taz is currently exploring while Jake watches. You walk up behind him, pressing your legs to his back.

“Hey, did you get everything?” Jake nods, tilting his head back to look up at you. You return his fond smile as you sit down next to him and Taz nervously trots over to you and you scoop him up, nuzzling him against your cheek.

“Hi, sweet boy, are you getting all settled in?” You coo softly and you can feel Jake watching. He places a kiss to the part of your shoulder that’s bared by his shirt being too big on you.

“See Bunny? You’re not a bad mom.” He whispers against your skin and you feel your heart squeeze. “Thank you,” he says then you turn to look at him, pulling Taz against your chest where he snuggles in.

“For what?” You ask as Jake lays his forehead against yours.

“For growing this family of ours, and for bringing us something that’s truly ours equally.”

“Well it didn’t seem fair that you’re outnumbered by the girls in your own home,” you tease and he bumps his nose against yours playfully.

“Something tells me he’s going to be a momma’s boy and then you’ll all still outnumber me anyway,” you giggle at that.

“Well if it makes you feel better, I think Pudding has the two of us beat for favorite,” you point out as Taz wiggles out of your grip as Pudding comes over to lie on her bed and then he’s attempting to climb onto it beside her. She watches for a few moments before giving in and reaching over to grip the scruff of his neck between her teeth gently and lifting him up onto the bed. He immediately snuggles up against her and she nuzzles his tiny head with her nose.

You see Jake watching them with a fond look in his eye and lean over to kiss his cheek. “You’re MY favorite, though. Always will be.” He smiles at that.

“You’re my favorite too, Bunny.” The two of you watch as the puppies snuggle up next to each other and you swear you feel your heart grow a size bigger as your family does too.

[altfire-archive]

its my baby's gotcha day 🥺 two years ago last night i asked my bf and brother if they wanted to go adopt a dog for our new apartment, not thinking they'd agree so fast, but literally the next morning we were at the shelter

i'd seen a post on the shelter's facebook about some puppies they'd taken from a hoarding case but when we showed up they were all gone and all the dogs on display were too big for our apartment. we left to sit in the car, and i looked up some other nearby shelters to see if any of them had smaller dogs, but none of them jumped out at me. we decided to go back inside to take another look just as four dogs were put out onto the floor for the first time - all rat terriers, a dad and his three sons. they'd all just been transferred from another shelter where they'd been living for a whole year.

we were gonna take out one of the sons for a test walk, but when we asked the staff they said they had to take them to get their picures taken for the website first. the son we were looking at walked right by us to get his photo taken, but the dad (who was 4 yrs old) jumped up and grabbed my leg.

i immediately burst into tears and the rest is history. forrest is 6 years old now and i feel just so lucky to have him in my life.

[theramseyloft]

I revere pigeons. Their care and history is my special interest and they occupy my mind almost all the time. The knowledge that someone is deliberately hurting and neglecting ones they've stolen from caring, safer environments and people that were concerned for their wellbeing has me crying. Imagine being so empty as a person, to go so far as to injure a pigeon for imaginary internet points and attention.

I have been trying to work up the energy to write a post about this for weeks.

Christmas eve of 2018, my business page was contacted by some one looking for birds. 

In January 2019, he let slip that he was a minor, and that his parents were adamantly opposed to him having birds.

Minors whose parents are not fully supportive of their choice of pet are a hard no in my screening process. He kept asking questions as if preparing to care for birds he expected me to sell or adopt to him, and every time, I would ask to speak to his legal guardian. He did everything he could, from telling me his mom would call me later, to eventually calling my personal phone in the middle of the night to try and coerce me into sneaking him birds under the cover of darkness. I got to the point where I would only answer his questions about available birds with "Have your legal guardian ask me." About this time, Palomacy's head, Elizabeth, came to me privately to warn me not to adopt to him. I know she thinks breeders will do anything for a sale, but my screening process for babies I have hatched is every bit as strict as my screening process for rescues. I told her I had no plans to. But confessed that I’d had a troubled history of using rescue as a coping mechanism for an abusive home situation when I was in college, and felt obligated to mentor him. I was also taken in by the charming 'enthusiastic teen who really wants to learn' facade that he's so artfully developed. So, when he used a different name to get into the Small Scale Rescue and House Pet/Therapy pigeon discord servers, and let slip who he was by accident, I was content to let him stay, hoping that the information we share would help him develop into a better care taker. But more and more red flags started popping up.

One pigeon’s bare neck, claimed to have been a wonky molt, but inflamed and bristling with filoplumes (The avian equivalent of whiskers;thin hair like feathers that also fall out during that heavy a molt)

The same bird claimed to have eaten playdough and thrown it up, in a photo with a cage full of green, moldy poop. (Where did the bird get playdough? Why was it allowed to get far enough to swallow it?)

The same bird claimed to have coins and chunks of carrot pulled out of his crop (things a pigeon can’t physically swallow unaided)

In every progressive photo, the feathers are thinner and more bedraggled and the bird himself was losing weight.

That pigeon mysteriously vanished, only got him to get two more, and mention nonchallantly after the fact that “Oh, puff died last week.”

His new pet pigeons, who supposedly lived in their own room in his house, got out while he was moving a couch.

He got, and promptly lost two other rescue birds from the rescue I posted about late in the summer that was shut down by her city and urgently needed homes for their birds.

When told Great Lakes Pigeon Rescue was going to be warned about adopting to him, this is what he posted on my education server:

He had his eye on a bird of mine (Frito), talking him down like he was undesirable or unadoptable, and reasoning that I’d have a hard time finding a home for him because of his bad personality.

Frito washed from therapy training due to INTENSE dislike of his harness.

That, and that he had developed a strong independent streak and prefered the company of other birds to people were the first things I told Brysen when he asked after that specific bird.

In one channel of the server, he would be talking to me about how he didn’t mind Frito just being a pretty house bird and would be ok if he never warmed up to being handled...

While, in another, he would be posting harnesses, asking if they would work for Frito, and asking other residents how to make an independent bird get used to being handled.

When I called him on it, he came into my DMs with this mess:

(The turn around in tone in the 12 hours I was too angry to respond is almost funny..)

Remember that rescue from earlier?

These are screenshots of her conversation with him (used with permission) about the birds that were lost, sent to the person in charge of Palomacy, where he was an active member on their platform at the time, to warn that he was preying on rescues to get more birds:

This conversation clearly illustrates that he was using us and Palomacy only to adapt the way he preys on rescues.

There is a reason he preys on rescues. We are hopeful for people to improve. So he expects infinite chances from us. And he expects that a correctly worded apology will erase any consequences. He preys on pigeons because there are no laws in the US concerning their welfare. Despite being domestic animals (the pigeons brought by Europeans to North America had been domesticated for thousands of years, and there were no natives of the same species or even in the Columba genus to mix back with); Pigeons are under the jurisdiction of the Department of Natural Resources, which governs wildlife, and legally classifies them as an invasive pest. The Department of Agriculture is the one that presides over domestic animals and investigates animal cruelty. They may only act for the welfare of pigeons under the specific circumstance of the pigeons in question being meat breeds bred for squab intended for human consumption via restaurants. In any other instance, killing a pigeon by any means, including torture, is legally equivalent to pest control. There are no legal consequences for it.

After I blocked and banned him, it came to light through several sources in personal contact with him that he maimed, killed, and discarded 25 birds that we know of, and he is still trying to get more.

Several people who denied him birds shared screen shots with us proving that they were also sexually harassed and threatened with sexual violence by him.

Several of the people who came to us told us that they had also tried to warn Palomacy, but their comments were immediately erased.

Brysen was allowed to continue to speak openly on their platform with no consequences, allowing him to truthfully say that he was being mentored by Palomacy to lull smaller rescues into a false sense of security and convince them to give him birds.

They had two articles on their website about what a wonderful young rescuer he was, only taken down after they tried to claim I had doxxed an innocent child, and it was pointed out to them that their public articles had his full current address, date and place of birth, and a photo of him in front of his house. I had beef enough with the organization before this that I will not go into on this post, but I am disgusted by the way Elizabeth silenced her own admins and community members from warning other rescues and individuals and tried to shut the rescue up who sent the above screen shots when she came forward about the birds he tricked her into bringing to Ga who were immediately killed. And then blamed her for their deaths. @tutu.pigeon brought me those screen shots the day after I banned him and one of my server mods took it upon themself to be a voice for his other victims by creating the Instagram @exposing_helluva_duv What ever respect I might have had for Palomacy is permanently destroyed.

You cannot call yourself a rescue if you cover for a serial abuser, actively prevent his victims from warning the rest of their community, and then blame those victims for having been taken advantage of.

The harm that that, combined with everything else I have beef with, has done so out weighs any good that I can no longer, in good conscience, attempt to put aside our differences and meet in the middle.

I’m not gonna waste the energy to start any shit, and I don’t think any one else should either. 

But I’m done trying to be any degree of supportive to them.

Gonna put my energy into encouraging more small shelters so there are better options.

[alwaysachorusgirl]

Not According To Plan

Pairing: Frederick Chilton x Reader

Word Count: 1,557

TW: none really, just a very brief mention of assault and crime scene photos?

A/N: A follow up to Almost Perfect, but can be read as a stand alone. Just a whole lot of fluff, (sorry, not sorry if it's so sweet it rots your teeth. I still like a sweet, romantic Frederick) This was originally supposed to cover the Cuddling square for #thatesqcrush Valentine's Day Bingo, but it kept getting pushed to the back-burner, and by the time I started working on it again, I knew it wasn't going to be done in time. But I wanted to finish it and get it posted before moving on to something else, so here it is. Better late than never?

Tags: @madamsnape921 (If anyone wants to be tagged in a future fic post, please let me know!)

It was safe to say that your first Valentine’s Day with Frederick Chilton wasn’t going the way you had hoped it would. It had started off well enough, with the both of you waking up early and making love before work, but once you had arrived at work, everything had gone downhill quickly. Yes, Frederick had a bouquet of red roses delivered to your office, but you barely had any time to enjoy them, as you had to rush to finish up a report for the board that wasn’t supposed to have been due until the following week. Then Jack Crawford and Will Graham had showed up needing a psychiatric consult for a new case. The crime scene photos were so gruesome you had rush to the ladies’ room to throw up. The final straw had been when one your patients had attacked you during a therapy session. Thankfully, you knew how to defend yourself and you’d had an orderly with you. You came away from it with a few bumps and bruises and a cut on your cheek. But you were shaken up enough that Frederick had insisted that you go home and relax, promising that he’d finish up his own work and join you as soon as possible.

And now it was going on 4pm and you were standing at the living room window of Frederick’s, no, your house, you lived here now, gazing out at the front yard and street, wishing for Frederick’s car to come into view. He had called you 30 minutes ago to let you know he was leaving the hospital but had a stop to make. The weather forecast was calling for a snowstorm to blow in that evening, and the snow was already starting to fall. You didn’t want Frederick to get caught driving in that. You shivered, feeling the chill through the glass.

You felt something small and furry brush against leg and looked down, smiling when you saw the black kitten looking up at you. She placed her front paws on your leg and meowed, signaling that she wanted “up”. You knelt down and picked her up, snuggling her against your chest. She nuzzled her nose against your chin and let out another soft meow.

“I know, Buttercup, I know, baby, I’m worried about Daddy, too.” You took one last look, then closed the heavy curtains to better insulate the room. You crossed the room to the thermostat and turned up the heat, and then went to the kitchen to pour a glass of wine to calm your nerves.

You and Frederick had been together for about 6 months now, and they’d been the happiest months of your life. Ever since that eventful first date the previous summer, you and Frederick had been practically inseparable. You had moved in with him after New Year’s, and while you had never moved so fast in your previous relationships, Frederick was different. You were completely in love with him. He was the one, there was no doubt about that in your mind. Whenever you imagined your future, you saw him in it, you saw marriage, kids, all of it.

You had expected him to at least put up an argument when you suggested adopting a cat, but your dear, sweet man couldn’t deny you anything. Instead, he started researching what kind of supplies you’d need and looking at the local animal shelter websites to see what your options were. And that was how you found Buttercup. From the moment you saw her picture, you just knew. And when you went to the shelter and held her for the very first time, she fell asleep and started purring. She went home with you that day. She’d only been with you for a few weeks now, but she was already settled in and followed you and Frederick everywhere. She always wanted to cuddle and that suited you and Frederick just fine.

You wanted nothing more than to be cuddled up with Frederick right now. The perfect Valentine’s Day that you had planned was falling apart. The elaborate meal you were going to prepare? You were too tired to cook. That new lingerie you bought? You were no longer in the mood to wear it, or for sex. You would stick with your hoodie and soft, knit lounge pants tonight. Your stomach growled, and your mind went to the desert that you had prepared the night before. The red velvet cake trifle with the raspberry/blackberry red wine reduction sauce was chilling in the fridge.

“Should I?” You asked, looking down at Buttercup, still nestled in your arms.

“Mew?” she replied, looking confused. Then her eyes went to the drawstring on your hoodie and she began batting at it with her paw. “Mew…” You couldn’t help but giggle.

“You’re absolutely right, sweetie, I think some playtime is definitely warranted.”

******************

Buttercup wiggled her backside and pounced, her tiny paws swiping at the oversize peacock feather you were dangling in front of her. You laughed as she grabbed onto it and tried to bite down. When you tried to pull it away, she rolled over onto her back and started kicking it with her hind paws. It was one of the cutest sights in the world and you couldn’t get enough. Seeing her so happy made you happy. You both jumped when you heard the front door open and close, followed by the sound of footsteps and a cane clicking on the hardwood floor.

“Darling?”

You breathed a sigh of relief at the sound of Frederick’s voice. Buttercup went bounding to meet to him and you got up and followed, smiling when you saw Frederick hanging up his coat in the entryway closet. Buttercup was welcoming him home by weaving around his legs, meowing her little head off.

“Hmm…fascinating…” Frederick nodded in reply to the kitten, “and then what did you do today?”

You heart swelled at the sight. You loved the way he interacted with her and spoke to her like she was a human. It made you wonder what he would be like with a little one of your own…He met your gaze and you rushed to him, wrapping your arms around him, burying your face in the crook of his neck. “Thank god, your home! I was so worried about you getting stuck in the snow!”

His arms encircled you, pulling you flush against him. “There is no snowstorm powerful enough to keep me away from you, my love. Forgive me for not getting here sooner. The roads are already a mess, and you said you didn’t feel like cooking, so I picked up some takeout.” He indicated two brown paper bags sitting on the small table by the front door.

You looked up at him and smiled. “Have I ever told you how much I love you? Because I love you.”

He chuckled and placed a soft kiss on your forehead. “I love you, too, Y/N, and I never get tired of hearing it. How are you feeling?”

“Much better now that you’re home.”

Frederick wasted no time in pressing his lips to yours. All the tension melted out of your body as you got lost in the warm sensation. All of his kisses were loving and passionate, and this was no different, his lips melding perfectly with yours. You gently started to run your tongue all his lower lip, intending to deepen the kiss, but were interrupted by a loud yowl and Buttercup headbutting you in the shin. You and Frederick looked down and saw her staring back, giving you the most forlorn look that she could muster

“Don’t worry, sweetheart, we haven’t forgotten about you,” you reassured her. “Do you want your dinner?”

“Mew! Mew!” She answered, insistently rubbing against your leg.

You looked back at Frederick. “I’m going to get her taken care of, then we��ll eat, okay?”

Frederick nodded and kissed you one more time. “I’ll get the food plated while you do that.”

“Thank you, I appreciate that.” You rested your forehead against his, hesitant to let him go.

“My love? Is everything alright?”

“Are you okay if we just cuddle on the couch tonight? I just…I just really need you to hold me.”

Frederick placed a gentle kiss on your forehead and gave you a warm smile. “As you wish, my love.”

“Did you just…”

“Yes, I did,” he replied with a chuckle. “Cuddling on the couch sounds perfect. Whatever make you happy is more than fine with me.”

“Thank you,” you said, pulling him in for another kiss. “I love you, Frederick.”

“I love you, too, my darling.”

********************

“So, do you think it will snow enough that we won’t have to go into work tomorrow?”

“One can only hope, my love,” Frederick answered, kissing your temple.

The two of you were cuddled on the couch under a blanket watching your favorite movie. You were curled up on your side with Frederick spooning you from behind, his arms wrapped around your mid-section. Buttercup was snuggled up in front of you, purring away.

“This is perfect,” you remarked, turning your head to glance back at Frederick. “I mean, this isn’t how I thought our first Valentine’s Day would go, but I’m happy, nonetheless. I love you, Frederick.”

“I love you, too, Y/N, Happy Valentine’s Day.”

[isthisthingeven0n]

the perfect addition: d.d

brief summary: you and david decide it’s time to adopt a puppy 

word count: 885 requested: not by anyone. it’s late on a friday night and I wanted to try and write some fluff to help me out of my writers funk warnings: none that i’m aware of

* masterlistin’ / masterlistin’ 2.0

(everything on my blog is my own writing. if it is shared on another page or website know it hasn’t been approved me unless specified. all rights reserved. - i have to start doing this as I had some shit on my other blog with plagiarism)

adopt don’t shop!

You never thought you’d see the day that David actually agreed to do this, that this was happening for you. Today is the day that you’re adopting a puppy, and to say you were excited would be an understatement.

“You know, dogs do poop a lot.” David comments as he drives whilst you sit in the passenger seat, looking at all the photos of her from the shelter as her collar sits on your lap.

“I’ve had dogs before, Dave.” You remind him with a smile as you leg bounces, turning the corner toward the shelter. “I can’t wait to see her again, she’s gotten so big in these photos.”

David nods as he pulls up, reaching over for your hand. “I’m really glad we’re doing this, jokes aside and all.” He tells you with a smile, leaning over as he kisses you softly.

“Me too, I feel like she’ll be the perfect addition to our lil family.” You say as he squeezes your thigh before you both climb out of the car and wander toward the shelter, hand in hand.

Walking into the shelter, you’re greeted with a series of barks from all of the dogs. Your eyes wander over, seeing them all jumping with excitement at visitors and you cannot stop the gleeful laugh from your lips as you walk over, fussing some of the labradors.

“You guys are getting big, huh?” You tell them in your baby voice as David stands by the front desk, watching with a smile that he cannot wipe.

“Hey, David, Y/n,” Rising to your feet, you turn to see Marie who runs the shelter holding the paperwork in her hand. “how’re you both feeling?”

“Nervous, excited.” David states. “But I can only speak for myself, Y/n barely slept she’s missed her so much.” He chuckles and you roll your eyes, but Marie smiles over to you.

“Well I can assure you, she’s definitely excited to go to her forever home.” Marie comments as she leads you both through the shelter into the office as you sign the last of the paperwork.

As you sign on the dotted line, David wraps his arms around you tightly. “We’re getting a puppy, baby.” He mumbles into your hair as you hold on with all your might as Marie walks out of the room to go find your little girl.

The sound of a bark breaks you apart as you look down to see her, wagging her tail at you both. “Hi, baby!” You happily laugh as you kneel down, letting your new puppy slide from your lap as she buries her face into your hands.

Looking up at David, he bends down beside you as your puppy shuffles over toward him, barking at him. “Aw, hey honey.” He mumbles as he picks her up in his arms, holding her close as your heart begins to melt at the sight.

“Come on, baby. Let’s go home.” You tell her as you tickle under her chin whilst David cradles her in his arms, not wanting to let her go.

During the ride home, she remains fast asleep in your arms. “Clearly the excitement was too much for someone.” David chuckles as he looks over at you both, seeing you smiling down at her with so much love.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been in so much love.” You comment, and David deadpans. “With a dog, Dave.” You quickly add, smiling up at him as he simply rolls his eyes.

*

Once you get back home, David starts to film clips of you and your puppy together, including her having her collar put on for the first time.

“Guess it’s about time for her name reveal, huh?” You look up at David as she sits in between your legs, tilting her head at the camera.

David nods as he sets the camera down, sitting beside you. “Well, everyone meet Winnie.” He lifts her up, muttering the lyrics to the circle of life. “She’s our new baby.”

“And only baby for the time being.” You add, leaning against David as Winnie yawns in his arms before squirming to go back down on the floor and continue her exploration.

“She’s adjusted really well though, but we’ll report back later as currently we’re both scared to let her out of our sight.” David chuckles before shutting his camera off, just as you yell for him.

Rushing over to you in the kitchen, David follows your gaze down to the poo right by the fridge. “I told you,” He starts, resting his hands on his hips. “dogs poop a lot.”

*

As you finished editing your video, you look to see it’s past midnight. A small yawn leaves your lips as you lock up the house and wander into your bedroom.

Looking in, you try to contain your heart in your chest as your lamp remains on, illuminating Winne curled up into David’s arms as the pair remain fast asleep.

Taking out your phone, you quickly snap a few photos and videos before switching the lamp off and climbing into bed. You reach over, wrapping your arm around David and tickle Winnie’s head.

“Goodnight, Win, night Dave.” You kiss his shoulder as you curl up, falling asleep knowing you’ve never made a better decision as a family.

[hillywooddestiel]

The Retreat Epilogue

Characters: CEO!Bucky x reader, Wanda, Steve, Peggy

Warnings: fluffy fluff

Word count: 1.4k

Description: Y/N Y/L/N: determined business woman, sought after by most businesses, creative visionary for advertising. She has it all. Or so she thinks. Life has a way of kicking you sideways when you least expect it, want it or are in anyway prepared for it. Numerous times. How can Y/N remain from cracking under the pressure when her career isn’t the only thing on the line and everything isn’t all that it seems?

A/N: This is it. The final part of The Retreat. It’s all over. The end. No more. It is done!!! I’m so proud of what I’ve managed since this is the length of a small book. Thank you to everyone who has loved this series as much as I have, thanks for the love for it. This part is set about 6 months after the last chapter just for reference xx Series Masterlist Marvel Masterlist

Story:

Wanda and Vis walk into the club hand in hand, joining Bucky and I at the bar. I give Wanda a big hug and compliment her gorgeous midnight blue dress.

“Yours is amazing too! It looks familiar…” she studies it closely.

“Yeah… Bucky got it for me as an early birthday present. All I said was I thought it was pretty in the window. Next thing he was dragging me inside to try it on.”

“Wait, is this from that boutique on West 20th we used to look at every lunch break?”

“The one where all the rich people take their kids for prom dresses yeah.” I confirm her suspicions, smoothing out the fabric.

“That is so sweet.” Wanda grins, reaching to the bar to pick up her cocktail.

“Not as sweet as that dinner date Vis took you on. Sounds like things are getting serious.” 

“They are! Our apartment allows pets so we went to the shelter last week,” she pulls out her phone and shows me a photo of a caramel-coloured cross breed on a strays website, “He's called Cosmo and we're going to pick him up next week.”

“Oh my gosh, he's adorable! A shared pet, big step.”

“It is… but I can really see this going all the way and I think we should take the leap.”

“That's great! I'm happy for you, Wanda.” I hug her again.

“Thanks! What about you two, how are things?” Wanda asks. I look over to Bucky- he's laughing at someone’s jokes, his smile making me smile.

“Thing are good, really good. We've both been super stressed with this launch but it's been nice having each other to talk to about it.” And help with stress release. Of course, it's more than that. I'm happy. I'm really happy right now and Bucky is the reason why. He'll surprise me with a coffee in the office when I don't have the chance to leave my desk. We'll go on spontaneous dates from picnics in central park to rooftop dinners at Michelin star restaurants. I'll cook and we'll have a chill movie night together. Then there's the little things: the way he'll rub my feet when I have to take work home; the kisses he leaves when he thinks I'm sleeping; his smile that I always find myself reciprocating; the way he will always make sure I'm okay (he magically always knows when I'm not). Every day I fall more and more in love with him- it's crazy really.

After bumping into Clint and Natasha behind one of the electronic billboards and Thor and Jane in the ladies toilets, I decide it's safest to stay within the main crowd- I don't want to be cracking out the eye bleach tonight. Bucky keeps one hand on my knee nearly the entire time we spend sitting in the booth.

“And how is Joey? I feel like it's been ages since I got a cuddle from that little squish.” I ask Peggy and Steve. Joseph James Rogers was born exactly two months before the scheduled launch date for our new AI making this time extremely stressful for Steve. Stressful but also amazing.

“You two babysat for us just last week!” Peggy laughs, “He's fine with his Nana and Papa making friends with all of the dogs.” 

“We don't mind babysitting when the kid is just so darn cute.” Bucky's hand gets a little tighter on my knee; whenever the topic of kids comes up he gets quite broody. Don't get me wrong, it's really hot and I love the idea of having kids but not yet. Definitely not yet.

“No leaving the party early then.” Bucky jokes, clinking his glass with Steve's.

“We wouldn't dream of it.” Steve raises his glass in turn.

“Mum and Dad are staying up late tonight!” Peggy laughs. We all start making toasts to anything and everything, the alcohol helping with the joyous mood we're all in.

~~~~~

“Official public sales start tomorrow and I couldn't be prouder of all the work we've done in the past months.”

“Yes, thank you every single one of you here tonight, in every department. We couldn't have done this without you.” Bucky and Steve stand on a small raised stage making their joint thank you speech.

“A toast to Barnes and Rogers and our continued bright future in the market.” Bucky raises his glass of champagne followed by everyone else as a chorus of cheers.

“Also,” Steve gestures for us all to quieten down, “as a special treat for you all, we'd like to announce this year's company retreat- an all-paid-for spa weekend away. You all deserve a bit of relaxation.” I catch Bucky's eye and he shoots me a wink. I wonder if the spa will do couples packages. 

“Now enough of the serious talk, let's get this night started properly.” The lights turn purple and loud house music starts, all controlled by the DJ who comes amped up into his booth. Bucky steps down from the platform and comes over to me, kissing me gently on the cheek and squeezing me with a hug.

“Someone's happy.” I grin, reaching up on my toes to kiss him on the lips.

“Because I am happy. Come on, I want to show you something.” he takes my hand, and leads me out of the crowd.

We emerge from dark corridors out into a balcony. There's a cute little bench, a bucket of ice with champagne, fairy lights around the perimeter and beautiful plants everywhere. But the view… the view is the real star. Being in a bit of a club district, there's neon signs about every way you look. The skyscrapers in the near distance are all lit up like Christmas trees creating the classic New York view. The sky is an inky blue with the occasional plane passing over. It's truly stunning.

“Wow…” I wander up to the railing, marvelling at it all. 

“It's even more beautiful now you're up here.” Bucky says. I scoff, wrapping my arms around his neck.

“You're such a sap.” I giggle, kissing him freely without the eyes of every single one of my co-workers.

“But I'm your sap.” He kisses me back, hands holding me close by the waist.

“Is this the surprise then, cos it's really really pretty.” I look out to the city.

“Sort of. What can you see from here?” 

“Well, lots of buildings…” I look for something to stand out to me, “I can see the top of the zoo over there so that must make… that building your apartment.” I point to my answer.

“Mhm. How would you like it to be our apartment?” 

“What?!” I look at Bucky, is he kidding?

“Move in with me. We can move into mine or find a new place together. You're over a lot of the time, I'd love for it to be all the time. What do you say?” Wow. Okay. Wow. This is huge! I’m being too quiet, I need to say something.

“I love your apartment.”

“You- Is that a yes?”

“Yes!” Bucky laughs as he picks me up and spins me around. When he puts me down he kisses me passionately.

“I love you so much.”

“I love you so much more.”

Bucky pops the champagne and we sit up there on the terrace talking and occasionally making out (not that I’m one to kiss and tell). He gives me his jacket when the evening chill sets in like a true gentleman. I take this as the perfect opportunity to snuggle into his side, he needs to keep warm too after all.

“Thor tells me he’s been thinking about maybe buying a ring.”

“Wow! They’re so sweet together. She’ll say yes for sure.”

“They’re a cute couple. Not as cute as us, but cute.” I jab him in the ribs for the cheeky joke but can’t help laughing.

“It’s not a competition.”

“No… but if it is we would win.”

“Really? Not even the one couple who are married with a baby?”

“Well, yeah, if we’re counting married people then maybe they just beat us. Only just.”

“You’re such an ass!” I tease him, giving him a kiss so he knows I’m joking.

“An ass you just agreed to live with. No backing out now!”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” And I really wouldn’t. Bucky is the most amazing part of my life and I couldn’t imagine it without him. Obviously it hasn’t been all that long, not for thinking about marriage and kids yet anyway, but I really think we could be endgame. And it’s all thanks to that darn retreat.

The Retreat Tags:

@jsmith509 @meowchickameow

[daydream-hobii]

Shelter of Hope | Chapter 11

Genre: Poly!AU; Hybrid!AU; Fluff; Angst

Pairing: Hybrid BTS x Female!Reader; Human!Reader, Human!Namjoon, White Persian Cat!Seokjin, Siamese Cat!Yoongi, Border Collie!Hoseok, Calico Cat!Jimin, Australian Shepherd!Taehyung, Siberian Husky!Jungkook

Summary: Y/N and her husband Namjoon are the proud owners of a hybrid shelter, protecting and saving as many hybrids as they can. They have a couple of their own, a cat and dog hybrid, whom they love with all their hearts. In the shelter, they gain some hybrids with trauma filled pasts, and one particular one who no one seems to want. What will happen when their little family of four turns to eight?

Warning: Mentions of Abuse, Sexual Assault, Depression, Anxiety; Suggestions of Smut; Read with caution <3 

Word Count: 1,142

Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3 // Chapter 4 // Chapter 5 // Chapter 6 // Chapter 7 // Chapter 8 // Chapter 9 // Chapter 10 // Chapter 12 // Chapter 13 // Chapter 13.5: BONUS // Chapter 14 // Chapter 15 // Chapter 16 // Chapter 17 // Chapter 18 // Chapter 19 // Chapter 20 // Chapter 21 // Chapter 22 // Chapter 23 // Chapter 24 // Chapter 25 [FINAL] //

Author’s Note: Welcome to Chapter 11! Please let me know what you think of this chapter, I love getting feedback! I hope you enjoyed it!!! ^_^

           I could practically feel my heart sink as I was frozen, eyes wide and phone still to my ear. Yoongi was just as wide eyed, obviously hearing the whole conversation with his skilled cat ears, along with Jimin, who frowned.

           “That sounded like Jin…?” Jimin questioned, looking confused.

           “What? What happened?” Namjoon asked, concern filling his features.

           “He sounded like he hadn’t drank water in days,” I said, tears threatening to fall as I put the phone down and uncovered my mouth.

           “There were people in the background,” Yoongi mumbled, furrowing his brow.

           “What? I didn’t hear them…?” I questioned, making him shake his head.

           “You wouldn’t of, they were distant, I could barely catch up on them,” Yoongi mumbled.

           “Joonie, who did you adopt him out to?” I asked, staring at him with wide eyes.

           “This very nice couple, their background checks were fine,” He said, squinting his eyes at the ground. “This doesn’t make sense.”

           “Well, we have to help him,” I exclaimed, standing up, but Hoseok grabbed my hand.

           “Jagiya, no,” He said, frowning.

           “Why not?” I asked, a little too aggressive.

           “You don’t know where he is,” Namjoon said, sighing. “We’re no help to anyone if we just wonder everywhere. Plus, it’s late, we all need sleep.”

           “But Jin is suffering,” I choked out, tears spilling down my cheeks.

           “He’s strong,” Taehyung said, making Jungkook nod.

           “He told Jimin and I his back story, he’s been through a lot. This isn’t anything he couldn’t handle for a short while,” Jungkook said, frowning at me.

           “Baby, let’s go to bed. We’ll worry about this in the morning,” Namjoon whispered, standing up and hugging me, letting me cry.

           “How can I sleep?” I asked, Jimin brightening up a little.

           “I’m a great cuddler!” He exclaimed, causing glares from Yoongi and Taehyung, making him to whimper a little. “So I’ve heard….”

           “How about we all sleep in the living room tonight, huh?” Namjoon asked me, making me sigh and nod.

           “I’ll get the blankets!” Hoseok shouted, running off.

           “I’ll get the pillows!” Taehyung said, running in a different direction. Yoongi stood up, walking over and hugging me tight, kissing the top of my head.

           “I know you care about him. You’re too kind not to,” He whispered, making me sigh in his chest as Namjoon walked off with Hoseok, Jungkook, and Jimin.

           “I just hope he’s okay,” I whispered back, frowning. This was going to be a long night.

           I was sat in my office, going through Jin’s file. I didn’t sleep at all last night and came to the shelter early to start looking up stuff. I went on my laptop, looking up the family that owned Jin before, biting my lip. They were rich… in fact, the dad was a CEO of a convenience store brand…. I groaned, leaning back and biting my pen. I looked at the picture of Jin and the two people who adopted him.

           We like to take pictures of our hybrids and their new owners to remember them, and to prove to other hybrids that there’s a chance of getting adopted. Jin looked so happy, but there was a small sadness behind his eyes.

           “Yeobo,” A deep voice said, making me look up fast. A sleepy Namjoon stumbled in, coming over and forcing my chair out, sitting on my lap and cuddling into my neck, making me huff at the weight and chuckle.

           “Okay, clingy boy, hello,” I said, pecking his head. “You’re here early.”

           “I should say the same about you,” He mumbled, pecking my neck.

           “Joonie?” Taehyung asked from the door, Yoongi snickering with Hoseok. Jungkook and Jimin seemed just as surprised as Namjoon stumbled off my lap, wide eyed and red cheeked, straightening his outfit, making me giggle.

           “Oh, stop, we all know you’re a baby boy for her,” Yoongi scoffed, walking over to the cot and laying down, covering his eyes with his arm.

           “I didn’t,” Taehyung squeaked, still wide eyed.

           “Oh, come on, you had to of heard them on some nights?” Yoongi asked, leaning up and raising an eyebrow. “He’s totally submissive.”

           “Okay, we’re changing the subject,” Namjoon groaned, sitting in his chair and laying his head on the desk.

           “Is it illegal to show up to someone’s house, uninvited?” I asked, looking back at the website.

           “What?” Namjoon asked, wide eyed.

           “Not if you have a gift basket in apology,” Hoseok said, smirking, knowing my plan.

           “Good idea, Hobi,” I said, smiling.

           “Woah, wait,” Namjoon said, looking at my computer. “You are not seriously planning on visiting Jin’s old family.”

           “I have reason to believe they have Jin,” I said, looking up at him as he frowned.

           “How do you know?” He questioned.

           “The voices did sound similar to the dad,” Yoongi mumbled, sitting up. “but I’m not a hundred percent sure….”

           “So, you think the family that adopted him sold Jin to them?” Namjoon asked, frowning.

           “Baby, it’s not your fault,” I whispered, putting my hand on his cheek.

           “It kind of is,” Namjoon replied, shaking his head. “It can’t hurt, visiting them. Just apologize for Jin and give them a fruit basket, check out the place.”

           “Okay, we should go today,” I said, standing up.

           “Here’s the plan,” Namjoon started, letting the boys come in closer. “The only one coming with us is Jungkook.”

           “What?” Yoongi and Hoseok said at the same time, Taehyung whining. Jimin just stared in surprise.

           “What?” Jungkook asked, wide eyed. “Why me?”

           “I see what you’re doing,” I told Namjoon, smirking. “You’re physically the strongest and fastest, you could run and get help if something goes wrong.”

           “Ouch,” Taehyung mumbled, glaring at the ground.

           “Well, if you didn’t sit around and play video games all day,” Namjoon said, smirking as he scoffed.

           “Boys, focus,” I said, making them nod. “We have no idea if they even have Jin, but if they do, we don’t know how they got him.”

           “The owners just gave him to them, I bet,” Hoseok growled.

           “They’re rich, it makes sense,” Jungkook replied, nodding. “Pay them for him.”

           “They tried that with you,” Yoongi said, sighing.

           “Wait…” Jimin mumbled, pointing to the laptop. “Look up news articles, will you…?”

           “Why?” Namjoon asked.

           “I saw a strange news story yesterday, I’m just curious,” Jimin mumbled, coming around the desk to me. “And that photo, the owners look familiar….” He pointed to the file, making Namjoon frown. It was an extra picture of his original owners that we kept on file if they tried to adopt here again.

           I furrowed my brow, nodding. I went and starting typing for local news reports. Jimin was next to me, leaning on the desk. I gulped, finding an article that was posted yesterday morning. I clicked it, the color draining from my face.

           “Jagiya, what is it?” Yoongi asked, worried.

           “They found two bodies in the Han River yesterday morning…” I said, looking at them and showing the screen. “It’s Jin’s owners.”

[maevefiction]

Your Light in the Mist - Chapter 34

We spent the remainder of our summer and early fall in London living like normal people and doing normal things. I’d get up and head into work each morning, my main focus having shifted to overseeing Trudy’s progress on the app and delving into creating pages on the Prosper site for all our clients, while Tom kept his social media activity at the level we’d agreed upon, in conjunction with working out, running lines for Skull Island, meeting with BFI and UNICEF, as well as reading the rest of the Vampire Chronicles.

Each night, we’d either eat in or go out to one of Tom’s favorite spots for dinner, and each weekend he’d take me to what he considered a ‘cannot be missed’ landmark or locale. Sundays were usually cinema day, my personal favorites we viewed being The Man From U. N. C. L. E. and American Ultra. Tom was fond of Before We Go, but I pointed out that he had to like it otherwise Captain America would kick his sorry ass, because he already had it out for him over the whole Loki wearing his suit thing. Interestingly, other than a random pap here and there in the heart of the city, we were essentially left to our own devices. No one seemed to care that we were walking around Regent’s Park drinking tea and coffee, having pizza, or grocery shopping. There were fans on occasion, and Tom was always gracious, stopping for a selfie and/or a chat, with me waiting in the wings or taking pictures. I had known it was possible to maintain some degree of anonymity no matter the level of fame involved, and now I’d come to the conclusion that it had a lot to do with the behavior of the celebrity themselves and directly proportional to the size of their entourage. Which we didn’t have, nor wished to have. Granted, Tom had yet to achieve rock god status, but still…if we smiled, waved, and moved on, so did everyone else. People being people.

Two weeks after his sisters had been informed of their father’s infidelity and misdirected their anger at Tom, Emma came over to our flat and they Skyped Sarah, talking through tears and shouts for two hours before apologizing to each other and realizing that the blame lay with no one other than Diana and James themselves. It was a huge weight off his shoulders, and it allowed us to move forward, both of us having dealt with our pasts as well as we could for the time being. Healing, learning, and discovering more and more of each other with every day that passed. Mundane things, like what kind of toothpaste either of us preferred, when we’d learned out times tables…the feeling that I’d always known him becoming increasingly prevalent and so very welcome. While I’d recognized that we were not only lovers but friends as well that night when I willingly shared my Ben and Jerry’s with him at the beach house in Hawaii, I couldn’t have imagined how deep that friendship would become. We lived, we loved, we laughed, and it was astounding to me that I could feel such…peace.

In mid-September the insanity began, both of us going on the road for the promotion of not one, not two, but THREE projects, High-Rise, I Saw the Light and Crimson Peak. The San Sebastian Film Festival, Toronto International Film Festival (where we ran into Norman, there promoting Sky, whose premier he invited us to and we attended), the BFI London Film Festival…it seemed endless, the screenings, Tom doing interview after interview, photoshoots and photo calls, Q & A sessions. How he managed to keep which project he was promoting at which event was a mystery to me, and I found myself asking him ‘dude, what’s this one for again’ more than once, and I spent nearly every moment behind the lens of a camera.

Nights were when I edited what I’d gathered and emailed it to Tom, who’d then post it all across his social media accounts. Then came updating the website, followed by fast and furious fucking, then sleep. At some point in all the chaos he‘d dragged me into a coatroom and fucked me from behind, but the when and where wasn’t the slightest bit important at the time so determining its actual geographical occurrence is now impossible…but other than that, we behaved ourselves, acting like grown-up professionals with jobs. I enjoyed just fading into the background and watching him shine. His performance in all three films blew me away, but High Rise was my favorite story. The abortion scene in I Saw the Light made me cringe, especially when I considered how he must have felt filming it, so soon after what he’d been through in his personal life. As soon as it was over, he’d leaned over and kissed my cheek, his hand in mine, both of us squeezing gently.

October twelfth found us in New York City, staying at my apartment, me packing up boxes to be shipped to London that week. My books, the rest of my clothes, and my computer. The rest would remain for when we visited, and while I knew I’d never sell the place, I also knew London had, in an obscenely short period of time, become home. The New Orleans house had been completely cleaned out, the August estate sale netting upwards of one hundred thousand dollars, and Tom made good on his promise to donate a matching amount to the women’s shelter while the actual proceeds were delivered to Will’s wife anonymously. I wasn’t sure what to do about renovations, but was hoping to stop in at some point during the holiday season and think it through.

The fourteenth was the NYC premiere of Crimson Peak, and we’d agreed that while I’d attend, I wouldn’t walk the carpet. He’d balked, at first, but I’d convinced him that doing so would allow everyone to focus on him and his co-stars, which was exactly where the focus BELONGED. I wore the black version of the red dress I’d worn to Daniel, and spent the entire limo ride back to the apartment following the after-party with his face buried in my breasts.

We flew to Nashville on the seventeenth to prepare for the premiere of I Saw the Light…Tom’s anxiety level ratcheted up to a nine, dreading the possibility of an appearance by Claudia. I steeled myself as best as I could, but, thankfully, it was completely unnecessary. The director wanted the venue to be small and down-home, so only bare-bones cast invites had been extended. Meeting his co-star Lizzie was a blast…she was friendly, funny, dorky and gorgeous. The two of us hung out in front of the stage as Tom performed for the crowd, dancing like a couple of idiots and singing along. He was incredible, those damn hips distracting me to no end, and his SMILE, my lord. He’d tried to teach me some guitar chords while we were on the road, but, as expected, I sucked in a way that no one had probably ever sucked before and decided once and for all that being able to sing was enough musical talent for one human being.

Principal photography for Skull Island was slated to start on the nineteenth on Oahu, but Tom wasn’t needed on set until November second so we decided to take a holiday the two weeks prior on Kauai. He’d even managed to sweet talk the reservations gal into giving us the same room…the one I’d been staying in when we met, number 203. As soon as we arrived, we both changed and headed out to put our toes in the sand, which is how we spent most of our time for the next ten days. At long last, my ass was on the fucking beach and it was pure, unadulterated bliss. The nights…that’s when we made up for lost time, screwing each other senseless until we passed out from exhaustion.  

Luke and Simon joined us on the twenty-ninth, a short birthday celebration jaunt for the latter. On the thirtieth we all went out to Nawiliwili Tavern to celebrate him turning thirty-eight, and I karaoked so much my throat hurt the next day. And really, it was just from singing. Really.

On the morning of my birthday, I left Tom snoring in our bed to watch the Halloween sunrise from the balcony, a knee-length tropical print satin robe wrapped around me. I’d become a fan of robes…easy to slip on, even easier to rip off. Both of us slept naked, and with all the hotels, room service and sex whenever we could squeeze it in while traveling, it was an excellent way to prevent me from answering the door in the buff. I leaned on the railing, listening to the waves crashing, watching the three joggers heading down the beach leaving sand flying in their wake. Thirty-eight. I wasn’t sure how the fuck this had happened, yet here I was, two years away from forty, the biological clock that had been silent before meeting Tom now ticking away loudly. We both baby goggled, and while we were still back in London we’d had lunch with Ben and his wife, each taking turns holding their baby. I’d caught Tom staring at me, his expression making me want toss my birth control pills in the garbage…full of adoration, love, want and so much more. And him holding such a tiny being in his huge hands…too precious for words.

Last year on this day I’d been working, giving a seminar in Chicago, and my celebration had consisted of six donuts at eleven-thirty PM in my hotel room while I watched the Matrix. This year…other than a costume party at Rob’s Good Times Grill in the evening, I had no clue what was in store for me. I reflected on how much my life had changed, and how I was so incredibly blessed, realizing that I’d be perfectly content to spend the entire day in our room, talking, laughing, dancing…all those simple things that made me genuinely happy. Me. Happy. Something I never thought I’d be, yet here I was. Standing on the balcony of the room where we’d first been intimate, on the island where we’d fallen in love. Grateful tears welled up, spilling over and running down my cheeks, and as I wiped them away I felt hands on my shoulders, followed by a kiss on my neck.

“Good morning, birthday girl.” I turned to face him, and he immediately noticed that I’d been crying. “You okay, love?”

“I’m amazing. Happy tears. Actually, grateful tears. Just thinking about how different things are from last year, and…”

He pulled me to his chest, smoothing my hair as he placed a kiss on top of my head. “I love you, my Maude.” He let me go, hands sliding around and down to grasp my forearms, grinning. “So, ready for your present?”

I poked his chest with my index finger. “Dude, you PROMISED me, NO PRESENTS. The time we’re getting to spend together here before you start filming is my present, and every day with you is a gift ANYWAY so…”

Several beats of uncharacteristic silence followed. “Well look at you, leaving me at a loss for words.”

Wrangling free of his grip, I clapped excitedly. “That’s like a whole ‘NOTHER present, man. WOO HOO!”

He laughed, a drawn out ‘ehehehehehe’, ceasing only when we thought we heard someone yell for us to shut up. We ran back inside and closed the balcony doors behind us, sat on the bed and perused the breakfast menu. I opted for scrambled eggs, pancakes and bacon, and Tom decided upon an egg and cheese omelet. After eating quickly, we showered together, and as we dried off in the main area of the room he cleared his throat nervously.

“So, um…I was wondering if maybe you’d like to take a ride out to Talk Story today? I thought perhaps you’d want to pick up some new reading material for while I’m shooting?”

The man knew the only time I had to read these days was when I was on the toilet, but I went with it because, BOOKS. And I’d wanted to go there before we moved on to Oahu anyway, even if it was just to look around. The origin of us. A huge grin spread across my face.

“That sounds fucking epic, babe. What time is it now, like eight-thirty? They open at ten, and the trip there is an hour…”

“Shall we see if Luke and Simon want to join us?”

I snorted. “Ha, if Simon’s even awake yet it would be a bona-fide fucking miracle…but sure, why not? It’d be cool for them to see where we met. God, I’m such a romantic saphead asshat. Gross.”

He laughed, wrapped his towel around his waist and grabbed his phone off the desk. I returned to the bathroom to brush my teeth, only hearing bits and pieces of the conversation. After hanging up, he joined me, eyes on my reflection, and the memory of him fucking me right there four months ago made me shiver, goosebumps pebbling my flesh.

“Believe it or not, they’re not only awake, they’ve had breakfast. Or at least Luke has. Simon appears to be on a liquid diet so far today.”

I spit a final time then spun around, brows raised, and he chuckled.

“What I MEANT was he’s too hung over for food, little miss filthy dirty mind.”

I slapped his ass as I walked out of the bathroom to get dressed. “You fucking love it.”

“Oh, I absolutely do.”

Black bra and panties, grey hiking shorts…but I figured I should ask what he was wearing before I picked out a shirt.

“Babe, what are you....” I’d turned around so my voice would carry better to the bathroom only to find him right THERE, his cock at half-mast. I coughed, then continued. “Wearing. What are you wearing? Fuck, the naked sneak up is NOT COOL, Hiddleston.”

He smirked. “My khaki shorts and a white V-neck, I think.”

“Good. Then I can wear a black one.” I finished dressing while he began, then went to stand before the mirror so I could put my hair back in a ponytail. I’d had it cut and styled before we left London, the ends brushing just below my collar bones. For some reason, even just a few inches and a tiny bit of layering made it much easier to manage. As I was strapping on my Birkenstocks, a quiet rapping on the door began. Tom opened it, and when I saw Simon was wearing giant Kardashian-style mirrored aviator sunglasses indoors, I shouted. Loudly. Even though it hurt my throat to do so.

“Good morning, Mr. Ahlberg. How are we feeling today? Looks like you may have had too much birthday, am I right?”

His voice was raspy as he pulled the Panama hat he was sporting further down his forehead. “Fuck off, bitch.” He was wearing a dark green Polo shirt, white shorts and white loafers.

I rose as he and Luke entered the room, and Luke grinned as he embraced me briefly.

“Happy Birthday, Maude.”

“Thank you, Luke. You look none the worse for wear.” He’d paired khaki shorts with a medium-blue faded T-shirt and Teva sandals, also khaki with blue stripes.

He snorted. “One of us had to behave responsibly. He was up half the night with his head in the bowl…”

Simon shoved him out of the way, wrapping his arms around me to support himself after placing a quick kiss on my cheek, whispering in my ear. “Please kill me. I know it’s your birthday, but it IS Halloween so it’s sort of apropos and I really need to die. I beg you. Put me out of my misery.”

I squeezed him tightly and whispered back. “Not a chance, asshole. I enjoy your snark entirely too much to let it slip from my grasp so easily.”

He sighed, releasing me. “Fine, fine. On with the hour long car ride then. Followed by staring at some books. Then an hour long car ride back. All during which I could have been resting up for tonight.”

We used their rental car, as I’d demanded to have a Jeep Wrangler again and thought Simon might puke if we took that instead. Much like Luke had thought he’d do when we’d gone to our Hula class. Ah, life’s fun parallels that arise from excessive alcohol consumption. Tom had gone back up to the room to retrieve his forgotten phone, and when he came back we were off. Luke and Simon sat in the back, Simon resting his head on Luke’s shoulder, moaning from time to time when Tom took a turn too fast.

He parked us a block down, and we jumped out of the vehicle, excited to be back, and he picked me up and spun me around as we waited for Simon’s slow-ass self.

I rolled my eyes as Tom set me down. “Christ, Simon…you’re like a little old man. Fucking move it along, won’t you?”

I got the bird in return, but the corners of his mouth turned up in a tiny smile. The ibuprofen I’d given him in the car must have started to kick in. Why he hadn’t thought of it on his own…no clue. As we reached the red doors, Tom took my hand, smiling as he opened the door for me. It was exactly the same, which wasn’t really a surprise as only four months had passed, but a feeling washed over me at the sight of it anyway, one of pure joy. His hand squeezed mine as we walked inside, and behind the counter was Roger Marshal, still bearded, same glasses, different Hawaiian shirt, this time red with green leaves. He grinned widely and came around to shake our hands.

“Aloha, Mr. Hiddleston, Ms. Gallagher. Welcome back.  I see you brought friends with you on this glorious Halloween day in paradise.”

Tom introduced him to Simon and Luke while I wandered down to the stacks where we’d met. The place was relatively empty…I didn’t see anyone, but assumed customers were just quietly browsing elsewhere. Music was playing, something by 10,000 Maniacs, the name of which always escaped me. Almost instinctually, I went right for the ‘K’s, looking for my white whale…and…THERE IT FUCKING WAS. Not three feet away from me, the spine of the dust jacket unmistakable, silver-grey with a long black tower and yellow text. I stood, frozen in place, listening to footsteps approaching just as I had on that day back in June. Tom’s hand touched my shoulder gently.

“You okay? You didn’t move a muscle while we walked down here.”

I pointed. “It’s there. Do you see it? Tell me you see it.”

He looked. “See what?”

“THE BOOK. THE GUNSLINGER. Yellow text. Black tower. TELL ME YOU SEE IT.”

“Oh, okay…yes…I see it. Wait, isn’t that…”

I nodded, still using my indoor voice but enunciating so strongly they sounded out in all caps. “YES. MY WHITE WHALE. THAT IS A FIRST EDITION COPY OF THE GUNSLINGER.”

He laughed, squeezing my shoulder. “And you’re not over there pulling it off the shelf and holding on to it for dear life, why, exactly?”

Reaching up, I patted his hand gently as I whispered. “Because I’m afraid that if I move or even if I blink it will disappear, having only been the cruelest of mirages.”

“If I can see, it, it MUST be real, yes?” His other hand patted my ass. “Best grab it before someone else does, don’t you think?”

I turned to him briefly, eyes wide. “YES. Excellent idea.”

One step, two steps, both very slow, and I noticed that the song had changed. Tilting my head to make sure I wasn’t hearing things in addition to possibly seeing things, I listened closely, turning back around to face Tom.

“Is it me or…is that Tigerlily by La Roux?”

His own head tilted, and he nodded, smiling. “You’re right, it is. What a fantastic coincidence!”

I nodded again, then turned back to my prey. Another two steps and I was there, reaching out my hand to touch the spine gingerly, then quickly pulling back as if I’d been burned.

“Oh my god it’s REAL. And not only is it REAL I think it’s in, like, MINT FUCKING CONDITION this is…I just…” I carefully slid it off the shelf, turning it over in my hands, then back again, opening the cover ever so gently. Much to my horror, there was something written on the flyleaf. I was about to stomp my foot when I noticed my name.

Happy Birthday, Maude.

You hold in your hands not only a first edition, but one from my personal collection…and out of the first box the publisher sent to me. The God of Mischief asked me to do him a solid, and I figured it might be a good idea to go the extra mile. Thanks for being a Constant Reader all these years, and may the wheel of Ka always move forward for you.

With love,

Steve

PS - CONGRATULATIONS!

Tigerlily was still playing, and I re-read the text again, realizing that Tom had planned all of this, for ME, for MY birthday, and I nearly burst into tears but the last bit of what Steve…STEPHEN FUCKING KING… had written confused me and I focused on that in an attempt to keep my shit together. I began speaking, still staring at the word as I turned around.

“Tom, why did he write congra…” I looked up from my precious treasure but didn’t see him, just Luke and Simon, their phones held up and pointing at me. “…ulations?” My gaze moved lower, and there he was. Tom. Down on one knee. Right arm extended. And in his hand was a small black box.

I’d like to say the world around me grew silent and time stopped and the angels began to sing, but that would be lying and, if nothing else, I’m an honest woman.

What really happened is that I blurted out “Ohmygodthefuckareyoudoing?” followed by my right hand flying up to cover my mouth, trying to shove what had just come out back in.

His eyes met mine, peering up from under his brows, lashes so long and soft and glistening with tears, his smile shy and kind and beautiful and I could see his hand shaking just the tiniest bit and my knees got weak and I had to uncover my mouth so I could breathe otherwise my big ass was going to hit the fucking floor.

He cleared his throat, then began to speak. “One hundred and twenty-five days. That’s how long it’s been since I walked through those red doors, down these stacks and saw you, my light in the mist. All of those days that came and went before…they all appear in shades of grey in my mind now, as if I never truly saw the world around me in color until the moment my eyes met yours for the first time. And however many more days we’re blessed with on this earth, I want to spend each and every one of them with you. I know I’ve said this bit already, when we first arrived in New York, but…I’m going to say it again, because it’s the truth, the only truth I know, the only truth that matters. I will love you all of this life, and in each and every one that follows. I will love you as the world turns to ash around us. I will love you as the universe collapses into itself, and in the blackness of the eternity that awaits, I will remain, with you, at your side, holding your hand, never to let go. This love…it knows no bounds. It is forever. Two souls made one, together unto infinity. Maude Gallagher, will you do me the honor…the most extraordinary honor that could ever be bestowed upon me…of becoming my wife?”

I’d stopped breathing at some point, inhaling with an audible gasp at his conclusion, then answering.

“Absofuckingloutely. Yes. Yes yes yes yes YES!”

I threw myself at him, and he rose to catch me just in time, both of us laughing and crying, his forehead resting against mine, Simon and Luke whistling and shouting as we kissed, murmuring ‘I love you’ over and over when we came up for air. Tom pulled back, grinning holding up the black box and shaking it back and forth.

“Aren’t you curious to see your ring?”

Rolling my eyes, I sighed. “I guess so. Whip it out.”

He opened the lid, and what I saw nested inside the black velvet made me feel faint for the second time in mere minutes. The ring was sterling silver, with an oval cut and polished black stone set in raised parenthesis shaped sterling silver bars, one to each side, perfectly mimicking of the style of the necklace given to me by my father. My voice eluded me, and he mistook my silence for displeasure.

“It’s not traditional, I know, and if you’d rather have a diamond we can…”

My head shook back and forth as I reached out and touched it with my right index finger in disbelief, then met his gaze.

“That’s black tourmaline.” He nodded, and I recalled the conspiratorial glance Luke’s mother and Tom’s sister had shared after I’d tried on a ring back at the Cube gallery. “Phaedra made this.”

He nodded again, eyes questioning. I bit my lip, then inhaled sharply before speaking again. “Will you put it on me please?”

His voice was timid, soft. “You like it, then?”

“No, Tom. I love it. It’s perfect. You’re perfect. Everything’s perfect. Put. It. On. Me.” I grinned. “Please.”

As Simon sidled over and took the Gunslinger away from me, Tom slipped the ring out of its slot, put the box in his pocket, then took my left hand in his right and slid the first tangible symbol of our commitment to one another home with the other, a huge, beautiful smile spreading across his face as I brought both our hands up to stare at my latest jewelry acquisition. He watched me, silently, and all the other moments that I’d pushed aside over the past four months formed a slideshow in my mind’s eye. Ben smirking at us as we looked through his wedding album, nudging his wife in the ribs as she giggled…what I’d overheard at Diana’s house, that he wanted something to be ‘perfect’…and, finally, the afternoon at Greenwood Cemetery back in New Orleans when I’d said goodbye to my father. Tom had gone to the crypt, introduced himself and told my father how much he loved me, then asked him a question, cupping his hand to his mouth and whispering against the stone, waiting for an answer, then nodding as he said ‘thank you, sir’. When I’d asked what his question had been he’d refused to tell me, though when I inquired as to whether my father had answered, he’d replied ‘I’d like to think he did.’

Gasping, my hand again flew to my mouth as my breath hitched and the tears flowed. “Tom…my god…how long…when did you decide…was it back in…Tom, that day in the cemetery…my dad…is that what you…”

He nodded, weeping as well. “Yes. I asked him for your hand in marriage.”

Choking back sobs, I reached out and placed my right hand on his shoulder. “But…when did you…when…”

His fingers grazed my temple, then my cheek, coming to rest on my jaw. “When did I know that I wanted to marry you?” I nodded. “That moment in the hotel in New Orleans when you said that if you really, truly love someone you accept them just as they are…and that you accepted me, all of me, every bit. As I took you in my arms, it hit me…I wasn’t just holding the woman I’d fallen in love with any longer. I was holding my wife.”

My sobs broke free, and I wrapped myself around him and buried my face in his chest. He rocked me, smoothing my hair, his chin on the top of my head. “I’m sorry it took me so long to ask. I just…I wanted it to be…perfect.”

Pulling away, I snorted. “Mission accomplished, you glorious bastard. This was over the top, ridiculously romantic, Clint Eastwood and Rob Reiner co-directing a love story PERFECT.”

His eyes widened. “Oh, I almost forgot. The ring…there’s an inscription…”

I yanked it off and held it up to my face. Around the solid portion of the band, flanked on either side by two tiny books was written in a teeny, tiny font, two lines, one on top of the other:

Talk Story - 6/29/15 - Our Story

My Light in the Mist

“Thomas William Hiddleston, I hope you realize that now we have to get MARRIED here. Like, right here. In this very spot. Bridezilla has come ashore and she won’t have it any other way.” I turned my attention from the ring to his face. “I’m serious. Can we? Is that cool with you? Getting married here? I mean, I guess we need to ask…” His smirk resulted in an epic eye roll and heavy sigh from me as I slipped the ring back on my finger. “Aaaaand…you already asked, didn’t you?”

He nodded. “Roger’s fine with it. We just need to let him know a few weeks in advance so he can arrange to close the shop.”

For some reason, that solidified what had just occurred. Tom had asked me to marry him. I’d said yes. I was now his fiancé, the future Mrs. Thomas Hiddleston. And there was now a wedding to plan. Which was exciting and amazing but I had no idea what to do next so I just stood, like a deer caught in headlights. He leaned in, nose touching mine.

“You okay?”

I nodded hard, attempting to clear my head, letting the euphoria take over. “My god, we’re getting MARRIED. Maude Hiddleston. I’m going to need to start practicing that. Gotta say, it sounds pretty fucking great. Nice ring to it. Maude Hiddleston. Yep. Sold.”

His jaw had dropped open, then closed again, eyes full of surprise. “I…you…you want to change your name?”

“Uhhh…yeah. Why wouldn’t I? I mean, if you don’t want…”

He took my hands in his. “Oh, no, no…I…I’d love for you to take my name. See, that sounds awful. Archaic. I didn’t want you to feel like you had to or that I expected you to because, I mean, you’re known a certain way professionally and…”

My lips found his, tongue pushing into his mouth, silencing him the best way I knew how. And, other than pushing his head down between my thighs, my favorite way. As we broke the kiss, he grinned, and so did I.

“Tom. I know some women are very much against changing their names or like to hyphenate, and that’s totally cool, but I’m not one of them. To me, it’s part of joining with someone. Being a family. If that makes me old-fashioned, too fucking bad. Plus, what happens when your kid with the hyphenated name marries another kid with a hyphenated name? Chaos, I say. Chaos.”

His expression was so earnest, so thankful that it caused me to take pause, during which I become cognizant of all I had to be thankful for as well. And that I hadn’t even said thank you, for anything he’d done, which resulted in waterworks yet again as I let go of his hands to place mine on the sides of his beautifully chiseled countenance.

“I’m so sorry…I didn’t say thank you, for any of this…but I’m telling you now. Thank you, Tom. Thank you. I’m going to remember this forever and tell it over and over and our kids and grandkids will be like SHUT UP WE HEARD THAT STORY A HUNDRED TIMES ALREADY and it’s just…I love you, so much, and I’m so blessed to have you in my life and my god, I can’t believe you want to MARRY me because I mean I’m ME and…”

It was his turn to cut things off with a kiss, and as he pulled back I heard Simon’s voice, realizing I had completely forgotten that we weren’t alone and wondering exactly how much they’d filmed.

“Yay, yay, you’re engaged, that’s super, who isn’t though, you know? Anyway. I’m going to create a diversion because if Maude cries again I’m going to lose all respect for her and, frankly, I don’t have that much left TO lose so…” He wrenched me from Tom’s grasp and turned me to face him. “SO, I assume that I’ll be your maid of honor? Because honey, you are REALLY going to need my help…”

I rolled my eyes. “Actually, you’ll wind up being my MATRON of honor because you’ll probably be MARRIED by then, you big fucking dumbass. And…and…” I started to sniffle, tears welling up again.

He covered his eyes with his right hand, having taken the shades off to film, and groaned. “Oh. My. God. Are you going to cry from now until whenever it is you get hitched? Because if that’s the case feel free to go before Luke and I do.”

When I didn’t reply, he uncovered his eyes, saw the look on my face and placed both hands on my shoulders. “I’m sorry, gorgeous…talk to me.”

Taking a deep breath, I wiped the tears from my cheeks with the back of one hand, then attempted to speak. “Will you…I…my…I don’t have a…my dad…isn’t…will…will you walk me down the aisle?”

He, Tom and Luke burst into tears at that, Simon’s hand over his mouth as he nodded repeatedly and pulled me to his chest. His voice was deep but soft in my ear when he was able to talk again. “Of course I will, honey. Of course I will. I’m so sorry your father won’t be there. And you know I’m, like, SO not religious so I’m not going to give you the watching over you nonsense, though I guess who the fuck really knows, but in a way he WILL be there, because he’s part of you. And we need to talk about something else now because crying is making my headache IN-FUCKING-TOLERABLE…”

He released me and Luke took his place immediately, warmly embracing me for the second time that day. His quiet authority was what I saw most of…it wasn’t until we were off the clock that he became himself, and even at that we were only moderately affectionate. Drunk Luke, though…that was an entirely different story. After a few pats to the back, we let each other go, and I pointed at Tom.

“This is some stunt you pulled here, young man. I hope you realize that.”

He grinned from ear to ear, tongue peeking out from between his teeth. “Oh, I do.” His brows rose. “Were you truly surprised?”

“Um, YEAH. No clue. Well, not exactly NO clue. I mean, I picked up on a few things along the way that I seemed odd but I just pushed them aside because…” My eyes turned skyward as I thought of the best way to phrase what came next. “Because as much as I wanted it to be what I thought it was, I couldn’t be sure and I didn’t want to be disappointed if it never happened, I guess. But. Yeah. So, do we need to fill anyone in on the news or am I totally the last one to know?”

“If it never happened. You’re a silly, silly girl.” His lips grazed my cheek. “And yes, there are still plenty of people to tell. Anyone who was privy to my plan was purely essential.”

My left eyebrow shot up. “Oh, how did Ben and Sophie factor in? Do tell.”

He blushed adorably. “I may have tattled to Chris and Elsa too. But…Anne’s still in the dark, so maybe start there?”

Simon had set the Gunslinger on the nearest table, and I started at it and sighed happily. “I cannot BELIEVE you not only managed to find me a first edition copy of the Gunslinger, but you got Stephen King to sign it, and it’s ONE FROM HIS PERSONAL COLLECTION. You are such a complete dork, and I am the luckiest woman alive, Thomas William Hiddleston.”

He walked to my side and slipped an arm around my waist. “So, should we take a photo to post online? Or would you rather do something more formal?”

I snorted. “Fuck formal. Picture, please.”

I held up my left hand at face level between us, the back of it towards Tom’s phone, which Luke was holding, then pointed at the ring with my right and posed with my mouth stretched wide open in a gleeful grin. Tom pointed at it as well, and three clicks later we were good to go.

Taking the phone back from Luke, he typed, then stopped. “Do you want to call Anne before I post this?”

“Nah. I’ll wait for her to call. It’s more fun this way…and honestly, I have no idea how to tell people without sounding like an asshole, so…yeah. Post it.”

He clicked, then turned the screen so I could see it. There we were, his expression mimicking mine, his Twitter message short and sweet.

She said YES!!!!!!!!!! #thefuturemrshiddleston, #iamsoveryblessed,  #luckiestmanintheuniverse

Chuckling, I passed the phone back to him. “Um, actually what I said was ‘absofuckingloutely’. Shit. That’s like, filmed and recorded as my official reaction to being proposed to in the most beautiful and perfect way possible. Nice one, me.”

Luke cleared his throat. “So, not to be a killjoy…” Simon snorted. “Do we have a date in mind for the blessed event? Tom’s schedule is…”

I raised my hand. “Oh, oh…I know what Tom’s schedule is…it’s an insane MESS. Gee, wish there was an app for that or something. HA! Anyhow, you’ll have to double check, but I’m pretty sure that there is zero room for it to happen until late April or early May.”

Scrolling through his phone, Luke nodded. “You’re right. After the I Saw the Light press tour and premiere he’s got Night Manager promo until it airs in the states on April nineteenth. Really, the best month seems to be June.”

Tom spread his hands wide. “Well, that makes it simple. Let’s do it on the first anniversary of the day we met. June twenty-ninth. I think I can even squeeze in time for a honeymoon before heading to Australia to start in on Ragnarock.” He turned to me, brows raised, questioning. “Okay with you?”

My eyes met his, then roamed up and down over his form. This breathtakingly beautiful, kind, compassionate, intelligent, gifted, hilarious being…he was going to be my husband. I felt the tears creeping up on me again, but shook them off, breaking myself of the habit lest I, as Simon feared, kept crying every time I thought about marrying the man for the next eight months.

“Oh yeah. Totally okay with me. And shall I assume you had that planned all along as well?”

He laughed, throwing his head back, one hand on his abdomen, smirking adorably when he’d managed to compose himself. “No, actually…that one was totally off the cuff.”

“Sure it was.”

Laughing again, he grabbed my shoulders. “It was. I swear it.”

I sighed. “Well, if you swear it, I guess I should believe you. So…I know this will come as a shock, but …I’m STARVING. Birthday girl needs lunch. Feed birthday girl NOW.”

Tom pulled me close and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. “How’s Kauai Pasta sound?”

“It sounds like you made reservations for four is how it sounds.” He smiled, licking his lips. “Which is awesome, because I am such a slut for Alfredo…”

Simon’s face appeared over Tom’s shoulder. “Oh, oh…can we please go over the list of things you’re a slut for? THERE ARE SO MANY…”

I flipped him off. “Please. Your list is so long it wouldn’t fit on my 32 gig USB drive.”

His eyes widened in mock horror. “My, my. She becomes some hot guy’s fiancé and her rudeness trebles. Unacceptable.”

Grinning, I turned my gaze back to Tom. “So, are we, like, done with surprises for the day? Because I’m not sure my heart can take another one. Though I do have a surprise of my own for YOU…”

“You do, do you? And what would that be?”

I patted his chest. “That would be my Halloween costume, babe. I fear you may not survive.”

He placed his hand over mine, leaning in so his face was inches from mine. “You do realize that you have not the slightest inkling as to what I’m wearing, don’t you?”

I didn’t. I’d been so focused on keeping mine under wraps I hadn’t considered HIS. And I was afraid to imagine, because the party now seemed an eternity away and if I let my mind wander…my mouth dropped open, then closed, opened, then closed again. “Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. I am so, so fucked.”

A whisper in my ear. “Oh, you are indeed, my darling. You are indeed.”

[deeeelightfuldee]

surveyss 014.

The person you had the strongest feelings for dies, do you care? I would be devastated. Absolutely devastated.

Is there something you’re happy about at the moment? I am excited to use my pool tomorrow. I’m happy I will be having mama marias tacos this week. I’m excited for my birthday weekend.

Do you want someone dead? Definitely not. 

Do you ever wonder what your ex is up to? No, can’t say that I do. The only two that I would have been curious about.. one I know was married (may still be? I’m unsure) and the other passed away while we were close. So, no.

Have you ever fed or taken care of a stray animal? SO many times.

What is something you tend to worry about? Grad school.

What is something you do that is unhealthy? Probably just my phone habits.

What is something you do that is good for you? I don’t speak poorly about myself to other people.

What last caused you to force a smile? When kile left me a message on snap saying he thought about me all day. It was maybe the first ounce of relief I’ve had in a while. 

What was the last video game you played? Was it fun? ACNH. It is always relaxing to play.

What is something not many people know about you? That I’ve been assaulted.

What word describes your basic style? Classic.

Have you ever been told you were going to Hell? Oh sure. 

Have you ever rejected a guy, only to have him push the issue by asking “why?” and insisting that you just need to get to know him better? Yes. 

Is there something that you believe everyone should do and you can’t believe that some people don’t do it (e.g., recycle or go to the dentist regularly)? Respect the time of others.

Regarding the last good choice (healthy choice, kind choice, selfless choice, etc.) you made, what was your real motivation behind it? I wanted to lighten someone else’s load.

What is something that you have had to practice at to get the hang of it? If you can’t think of anything, that’s okay, what’s something you are currently practicing at and trying to master? Having good posture. I used to have crap posture but I changed that when I started school.

Have you ever gone to the store to buy something, like a video game, when it came out at midnight? Not for myself, no. I have gone with a friend to get something.

Regarding the last novel you read, was there a romance included? If so, was it central to the plot? Yes there is, but I’m not finished with the novel. Going to read it again tomorrow in the pool

Have you ever done relaxation meditations or listened to relaxation guides or positive-thinking/healing recordings? I did in school for a class. It was nice

Do you have any interests that are also often shared by children? Coloring, switch, kids movies. I think a huge reason why my nephews/niece are so close to me is that I put in concerted effort to be interested and up-to-date on what they like.

Is there something that could be a solitary activity but you really only like to do it with other people (e.g., watching movies, playing video games, etc.)? Eating out, shopping.

Are you satisfied with the interior design or decoration in your home? Or do you think it needs a total home makeover? I love my room. Kile and my family really spoiled me last year in allowing me to get a room makeover for my birthday. I feel as though I shouldn’t have this stuff now that it’s all Kile’s. I am OK with our house decor, but it isn’t my style per-se.

Is there something that you’d like to own but you can’t find it anywhere? If not, can you a remember a time when you wanted something? Did you ever end up finding it or did you eventually stop wanting it? Yeah a pair of teva’s that I can’t find. My perfume that is always out of stock.

Who makes you smile the most? So for the loooooooooongest time it would be Kile who would just say these sweet, kind, loving things to me that just made me feel like a total queen. That all stopped real abruptly the week of graduation. Since then I’m relying basically solely on myself to smile. It isn’t that I don’t smile, I’m just retraining myself on this. 

What piercings do you want/have? Just each ear. I wanted second holes and my cartilage but those never last.

What's your favorite website? google prob..

Do you own a fish tank with fish? currently? no. have i before? yes.

Do you like the movie 300? never seen it.

Do you pop your knuckles? I dooooo

Do you have Photoshop?

heck no, its expensive lolol

Do you use tinypic or photobucket? I remember tinypic but I don’t use either.

What’s your favourite song from the 1980s? I’m not sure if I could choose 

How about the 1990s? I hate having to narrow it down.

Have you won anything recently? Uhhh, no not that I’m aware of. OH yahtzee.

How often do you make Excel tables? What for? Never. not if I can help it.

What was the last baby animal you saw in the wild? a bunny

Are you always available or online? Uhhh, always? no. I used to be. I’ve noticed that without Kile, I just don’t really have a reason to be by my phone all the time. I’m learning to get better about leaving my phone at home.

Do you have dietary restrictions? Or do you just eat what you like? gluten free. dairy free (though I’m bad at following this)

Do you prefer gold, silver or steel jewelry? Or no jewelry at all? So my preference is silver, but gold looks better on me.

Have you been binge-watching any shows lately? If so, what? lol Bob’s burgers. right now I’m into my old classic movies that have male character personalities that I long to have a relationship with.

If you dye your hair, do you do it yourself or go to a salon? I haven’t been to a hair salon in sooooooo long. One day when I have money I might start to take care of my hair again. I always felt so good about myself.

If you have any, do you like your in-laws? No in-laws.

Would it bother you, if your partner had cut contact with their parents? It would be dependent on the reason. For example, I’m not close to my father but I think the reason is very valid. If someone cuts ties with their family over something stupid, that might be concerning to me.

Have you ever wondered whether you were adopted? Haha, well my parents definitely didn’t have money for that and I’ve seen photos of my mother at the hospital with me, very clearly with a post-partum physique. But I do not resemble my family so that was always concerning lol.

What’s the best physical feeling in the entire universe? knowing someone else’s life is made better because of you

Have you ever grown a berry bush? Nope.

Have you done something new to your hair recently? I am about to chop it. I went brown again.

Do you have bad anxiety? If so, do you take any kind of medication for it? I do not find myself feeling anxious hardly ever. 

One thing you’ve experienced that you thought you never would have? losing kile

What was the last thing someone said to you that kept repeating over & over in your head? the boys kept saying how this was the most memorable holiday they’d had. 

How often do you have late nights out? Not often. Errrr.. when I do, it’s because I want to go out on my own and just be alone.

If you could, would you work from home? Do you think that would make you more or less productive? I would prefer to work from home given the chance, but I’m not employed at the moment.

If you had the ability to change the weather, what would you change it to right now? A good thunderstorm, but to be honest then I would need to go cover the pool. So, as it is right now is fine.

Is there something that you really need to do, but can’t seem to get motivated to do it? Continue to go thru all my belongings. I’m just allowing myself time to be sad, grieve, mourn, move on.

Most disturbing movie you have ever seen? probably gremlins.

Has a life goal or dream ever come true for you yet? If yes, what is it? If no, do you think you’ll achieve it? I was accepted into my all-time dream schools. I was into honor societies I could never have imagined. I’ve traveled alone. 

Have you ever had food poisoning? Yup.

What are you listening to? sleepless in seattle

Do you think there will be a WWIII? I don’t think it would surprise me, necessarily. There is so much hate evident around this world.

Has anyone ever asked you if you were emo? loooooooool. no. I smile all too much.

Has someone ever liked you that you never thought would? Mhmm, to the point where I questioned the legitimacy.

In all honesty, can a person be too nice? Kill ‘em with kindness. I think boundaries are important but I’d rather be hated for being overly kind, than to be unkind.

Has one of your friend’s boyfriends ever tried to cheat on them with you? I had a friend in HS who had a boyfriend who tried to grab my butt but I did not go for that.

Is mental abuse really as bad as physical abuse? absolutely.

Do you shop at Sephora for make-up? I am not wealthy.

Zelda: Twilight Princess or Ocarina of Time? I didn’t play either.

Do you own a rosary? no.

If you were homeless, how would you cope? I would go to one of those shelters and just work with the leaders to find a job and section 8 living.

[candimcart]

Hello, Hello! So, it’s been a bit since I took the time to blog. Kassie keeps me pretty busy from day to day, especially with Mike working two jobs. But guess what, after a year and 8 months of hustling Mike is finally able to be home with us in the evenings! For awhile he was working seven days and over 70 hours a week with almost zero complaints. He came home from one job, rushed off the second, came home well past his bed time and still made sure to squeeze in time with his little girl. He is seriously, above and beyond an amazing father. But, now the rushing in and out comes to an end. We received our final adoption invoice last month and were able to pay it off the next day! I felt that since so many people were involved with our adoption journey it was best to share our total cost and how we got to that number. I will try to be brief in the only way I know, which is to not to. (Tow Mater? Cars? Anyone?)

Here it is: WAIT! Let me back up!

  WE FINALIZED OUR ADOPTION!!!!!!

I was sitting in a movie theater beside my cousin, David watching A Quiet Place when I got the email. I am generally not one of those jerks who checks their phone during a movie but, I knew that on this day a judge would be deciding our fate with Kassie’s biological father. I should have been enjoying the two hour mommy break and cringing at the monsters that hunt noise but instead, I was spaced out focused on my thigh where my phone was sitting silently. When I felt the buzz I grabbed my phone and with the screen light turned all the way down read the words ” Biological Father has had rights revoked today. We can finalize!” Of all the movies I chose to loudly sob in, why did it have to be one that’s main theme is silence? I remember my cousin leaning over to ask if I was okay and I just whispered “She’s ours” and for the rest of the movie I just keep saying to myself “She’s ours” in disbelief.

                   Finally Forever Family May 18th, 2018!

If you don’t know me personally you may not understand that I am a crier. I’m a sentimental and angry crier. I don’t cry over sadness like I do over happiness (and at times, madness.) Well, this was the happiest day of my life. The judge said “Are you ready? Raise your right hands.” and I lost it. Shortly after, Mike did too. I love him so much for not being afraid to cry in public.

We found the perfect little shelter at the perfect little park but it only came with a 40 person limit. I cried about that. Narrowing it down from the few hundred people who joined us on our journey was not fun for us at all. But, we did our best and hopefully no one was hurt along the way.

The turnout was wonderful as well as the cake and cupcakes by Aunt Brandy. Bampaw and Bammaw surprised us with a big star cut out of a sheet for all of our friends and family to encircle for a photo shot on my Dad’s new drone. It was a wonderful way to celebrate such a long awaited end to our journey and allow for our brand new journey to begin.

  Okay, here it is! Drumroll please…

$8,280.22!!!!

What? How is that even possible? Every website. Every agency. Every person. They all said $25,000-$55,000 in our state so how did we get away with $8,280.22 for our entire adoption? Well, there are several reasons that led to this for us and they are NOT as uncommon as you (I’m talking to you waiting adoptive parents) are told.

1: The stars aligned. (They can for you too, waiting parents!)

2: Bio Mom refused counseling. She was very confident and happy with her decision.

3: Bio Mom refused an attorney.

4: Bio Mom had her own insurance.

5: Bio Mom did not request any financial assistance other than $50 in gas to drive from her home to our city for TPR (Termination of Parental Rights).

6: Our Attorney was AMAZING! He is a well known Adoption Attorney in OK and he is well recognized nationally as well. He and his wife run their adoption agency which began after they adopted their daughters in the 80’s. They are hugely responsible with changing laws and adoption practices in Oklahoma. He will absolutely not take a dime from his clients until shortly before baby is due, or in our case the day baby is born. We handed him $3500. He and his wife Linda met us at the hospital with all of the paperwork ready to be signed. They seriously made this process so easy which would have been a hundred times easier had I not tried to control everything. The day they came to the hospital our attorney had to get right in my view and say “You are Mommy now. That is the number one job for you. We will be the attorneys. You just go home and be a regular Mommy now. Trust us.” I didn’t feel like I was being a control freak but if nothing else he probably saw my nerves rattled to the bone. He knew just what to say, I took his advice and I found my peace in that moment. I find it very important that every choice you make when on this journey feels like “home”. You will know that feeling when it hits you. If you make a decision and it doesn’t have that comfortable, “I’m home” feeling, change it! This is how we chose our adoption attorney and our home study worker. With that being said and out of the way, if you are looking for an adoption attorney start here: Swain Law, Adoption Attorney!

7: This may make me unpopular (not that I care) and this is coming from my personal experience combined with the experience of other adoptive parents I have gotten to know… Agencies, some…most…all (?) may have the best intentions but they don’t make money off of expectant mothers who choose to parent their child. Adoption Agencies are businesses and just like every other business they need to have income to survive. They also rule the marketing world for adoption. Google “How do I adopt?” and you you will be swarmed with agencies and guidelines that all tell you going through a private adoption like ours will end in heartbreak more often than not. Well, let me tell you. I was in the biggest adoption group on Facebook and guess what I learned… “Adoption Disruptions” are not any more common with private/attorney adoption versus agency adoption. I have seen couples shell out $3,000 and up (way up) to get he ball rolling on adoptions via agencies and the expectant mother decides to parent. I have seen babies go to adoptive homes and the biological mother decide to parent. Guess what happens? Adoptive parents are forced to return what has already been their baby and they, in most cases are out the money spent. I have seen adoptive parents lose their entire savings and end up childless and broke leaving them with only one choice: find away to be satisfied never being parents. I saw it more times than I ever thought I would. We are so lucky that we chose to have all avenues open for us. We chose to start the process with finding an expectant mother while fundraising and saving for an agency (before I know what I know now about agencies). Some couples refuse to even go the route we did for fear of disruption and STILL end up with the heartbreak of a disrupted adoption.

I made sure to listen and absorb every story I could, not only from adoptive couples and waiting couples but from adoptees and biological parents. When we began our journey I had no clue what the Adoption Pyramid was nor did I care. I just wanted to be a Mommy… NOW. My heart was getting bitter and nothing mattered more to me than being someone’s Mommy. I am so glad that I learned all about the pyramid through hours and hours of reading posts, listening to podcasts, reading blogs, watching videos, etc. Having that knowledge BEFORE Kassie was born has very much changed the path of our adoption. We didn’t just gain a daughter, we gained another family. Her biological family is our family now too. I hope they always choose to be in our lives. Okay, I trailed off as I do. I am fortunate to have used the resources available to me to learn all about the importance of the pyramid. I listened to so many adoptees and biological mothers tell their stories. So often, the biological mothers have gone through the agencies instead of privately finding a couple like Kassie’s bio family did. They go through the agencies because they feel safer, they feel like the couples are screened better, and there is less chance of anything going wrong. Unfortunately they (their words, not mine) are manipulated into placing their child when they are vulnerable and unprepared to make that huge decision. You know what…this may just be a blog for another time. I am sure I will be attacked for saying these things that I learned in the dark and speaking them into the light. So let me stop with full intention to bring this to light another time when I am better able to articulate what I mean. 

  So here is a final recap:

Adoption Method: Private Infant Domestic Adoption

Timeline:

June 6th, 2017: Began spreading our story and calling for Star Hunters to help get the word out.

July 27th, 2017: Contacted through our blog by Bio Grandmother.

October 2017 (week of Oct 25th) Paid $3500 to Swain Law.

October 25th, 2017: Kassie is born!

October 31st, 2017: Bio Mom signs TPR.

May 18th, 2018: Adoption is Finalized!

Total Amount Raised: Just under $4,000 if I recall(I can’t get into my office right now to grab the fundraiser papers so I will edit in the exact number when I can!

Total Amount Saved: just over $5,000!!!

Total Cost: $8,280.22!

So, there it is. THANK YOU ALL AGAIN for joining us on our journey in whatever way you did!!! ❤ ❤ ❤

-Mommy, Daddy, & Kassie Too

  The Final Bill Hello, Hello! So, it's been a bit since I took the time to blog. Kassie keeps me pretty busy from day to day, especially with Mike working two jobs.

[newstfionline]

Saturday, October 31, 2020

Wonders from weeds (Times of London) Colleagues quietly scoffed when Alessandra Devoto, a plant biologist, started dedicating her time to researching the medicinal properties of a roadside weed. After years of study, however, she appears to have proved them wrong. Scientists have found that Arabidopsis thaliana, also known as mouse-ear cress or thale cress, stops the growth of breast cancer without damaging the healthy cells. It could help the development of chemotherapy treatments without side-effects. “The plant is very much like the Cinderella of the medicinal plant world—no one thought it was so special, but it has shown its true colors,” Professor Devoto, from Royal Holloway, University of London, said.

Walmart Pulls Guns, Ammo Displays in U.S. Stores, Citing Civil Unrest (WSJ) Walmart Inc. has removed all guns and ammunition from the sales floors of its U.S. stores this week, aiming to head off any potential theft of firearms if stores are broken into amid social unrest. The retail giant, which sells firearms in about half of its 4,700 U.S. stores, said customers can still purchase guns and ammunition upon request even though they are no longer on display. “We have seen some isolated civil unrest and as we have done on several occasions over the last few years, we have moved our firearms and ammunition off the sales floor as a precaution for the safety of our associates and customers,” a Walmart spokesman said. The company hasn’t decided how long the items will stay out of view, he said. Walmart also removed firearms and ammunition from stores this summer in the wake of George Floyd’s killing by police when several of Walmart’s stores were damaged.

Foreign journalists covering the US election (CJR) With the election approaching, America is a prime global news story, and foreign correspondents are playing a crucial role translating the febrile atmosphere for readers and viewers back home. (Donald Trump has fans abroad, of course, but most international observers seem to want him gone: only around fifteen percent of respondents to a recent poll covering seven European countries hope that he’s reelected.) This week, the New Yorker released a documentary about how foreign correspondents view the United States. Larry Madowo, a Kenyan journalist who works for the BBC, said that he’s been stunned to see that “the same things that America has been lecturing Africa on appear to be happening right here at home.” Alan Cassidy, who reports for the Swiss newspaper Tages-Anzeiger, described America in 2020 as “a car-crash situation: you don’t really want to watch, but you have to because it’s so outlandish and crazy and insane.” Jesper Steinmetz, of Denmark’s TV2, said that “it’s great working in this country, because it is fun to keep being baffled by what happens.” Arjen van der Horst, of the Dutch broadcaster NOS, argued that, contrary to many Americans’ view of themselves, “in so many ways, you’re the opposite of exceptional.” Svanberg and some of the journalists interviewed by the New Yorker feel that not being from the US is an advantage in their reporting, and affords them a measure of protection: they are, after all, not part of the “fake” domestic news media that Trump has encouraged many Americans to hate. But rubber bullets don’t discriminate—and American immigration officials do. Last month, the Department of Homeland Security outlined proposals for reforming the visa that foreign correspondents typically use to work in the US. As of now, the visa is valid for five years, but officials want to cut that period to two-hundred-and-forty days. The change would, ostensibly, “reduce fraud and ensure national security,” but it’s more likely a pretext to crack down on journalism. “The US was the paradigm for democracy. And now it’s not that way anymore,” Camila Zuluaga, a journalist with Caracol TV and Blu Radio in Colombia, said. “What do we see from the outside? It’s like it’s an empire that is going down.”

Report: US knew of problems family separation would cause (AP) Months before the Trump administration separated thousands of families at the U.S.-Mexico border, a “pilot program” in Texas left child-welfare officials scrambling to find empty beds for babies taken from their parents in a preview of bigger problems to come, according to a report released Thursday by congressional Democrats. Documents in the report suggest Health and Human Services officials weren’t told by the Department of Homeland Security why shelters were receiving more children taken from their parents in late 2017. It has since been revealed that DHS was operating a pilot program in El Paso, Texas, that prosecuted parents for crossing the border illegally and took their children away to HHS shelters. The problems revealed by the pilot program presaged what would happen months later: government employees caring for babies and young children in so-called tender age shelters and many parents being deported without their kids. The consequences linger today: Lawyers working to reunite immigrant families have said they can’t reach the deported parents of 545 children who were separated as early as July 2017.

Coronavirus dims Mexico’s bright Day of the Dead celebration (AP) Mexico’s Day of the Dead celebration this weekend won’t be the same in a year so marked by death, in a country where more than 90,000 people have died of COVID-19. Many of those had to be cremated rather than buried, and even for those with gravesides to visit, the pandemic has forced authorities in most parts of Mexico to close cemeteries to prevent the traditional Nov. 1-2 observances when entire families clean and decorate tombs, cover them with orange marigolds, light candles and chat with their deceased relatives, perhaps over a glass of their favorite beverage. “This year, the Day of the Dead must be celebrated virtually,” said Mexico City cultural secretary José Alfonso Suárez del Real, inviting city residents to post photos or videos of their altars on a city website. “It is fundamental that we recover and adopt once again the altars to our dead, which are household altars.”

As Coronavirus Surges, Dutch Wonder, ‘What Happened to Us?’ (NYT) As coronavirus cases have shot through the roof, waiting times for tests and results have grown so lengthy that the health authorities have considered sending samples to labs in Abu Dhabi. Contact tracing, divided among 25 competing contractors, has never gotten off the ground. After months of discouraging the use of masks, saying they promote a false sense of security, the government just did an about face, calling for them to be worn in all public spaces. And topping it all off, the royal family, ignoring the government’s advice to travel as little as possible, flew off to their luxurious holiday home in Greece, adding to growing mistrust and resentment at home. Britain? Spain? No. It’s the Netherlands, one of Europe’s wealthiest countries, renowned for its efficient and organized government in most circumstances—but not, apparently, in the pandemic. As a second wave surfaces across Europe, the Netherlands stands out with the Czech Republic and Belgium as among the hardest hit. It currently ranks sixth among European Union countries when it comes to the rate of new infections, with 56 cases per 100,000 inhabitants—its highest total ever.

Parisians flee, sidewalks empty as France enters lockdown (AP) Parisians fleeing for the countryside jammed the roads ahead of France’s lockdown to slow the spread of resurgent coronavirus infections, and there was only a sprinkling of people hurrying along city sidewalks Friday as the nationwide restrictions went into effect. In France, concerns were growing that rising infections would swamp the country’s health system, so authorities ordered another four-week lockdown beginning Friday. Many areas of the French capital resembled a regular lazy weekend morning—on what would normally have been a bustling weekday. Those who were out frequently clutched permission forms proving they had an exemption that allowed them to to be on streets. The only places that were busy were grocery stores and markets as people stockpiled food and other necessities. All of France’s 67 million people have been ordered to stay at home at all times with no visitors, or risk steep fines or prosecution. There are a handful of exceptions, such as being allowed out for one hour of exercise a day within a half-mile (1 kilometer) of home, to go to medical appointments, to a place of work, or to shop for essential goods. Restaurants and cafés are shuttered, apart from those that offer takeout.

The war in the Caucasus nears a bloody tipping point (Washington Post) This past weekend, the United States brokered a cease-fire between warring neighbors Armenia and Azerbaijan. According to some accounts, the uneasy truce barely lasted an hour. Instead, the conflict in the Caucasus rages on, marking the worst period of hostilities in the region in almost three decades. Civilian casualties are mounting, with both sides accusing the other of ferrying in foreign fighters and indiscriminately targeting urban areas with missile strikes and artillery fire. On Wednesday, Azerbaijani authorities said at least 21 civilians were killed and dozens more injured after rockets fired by Armenian forces using a Russian-made Smerch missile system hit the Azerbaijani town of Barda, which is some 20 miles away from the front lines of the conflict. Amnesty International confirmed that those rockets had unleashed cluster munitions, which are designed to inflict indiscriminate damage and banned under international convention. “The firing of cluster munitions into civilian areas is cruel and reckless, and causes untold death, injury and misery,” said Marie Struthers, Amnesty International’s director for Eastern Europe and Central Asia, in a statement. “As this conflict continues to escalate, Armenian, Armenian-backed and Azerbaijani forces have all been guilty of using of banned weapons that have endangered the lives of civilians caught in the middle.” “The conflict may soon reach an irreversible point where it will not stop without a dramatic expansion of fighting and increased loss of life,” wrote Carey Cavanaugh, a professor at the University of Kentucky who helped lead internationally mediated negotiations between the sides in 2001.

Powerful Aegean earthquake kills at 19 people in Turkey and Greece, injures hundreds (Washington Post) A powerful earthquake in the Aegean Sea left at least 19 people dead Friday in Turkey and Greece, flattened at least 20 buildings in coastal Turkey and sent a surge of seawater flooding streets near the Turkish city of Izmir. The magnitude 7 earthquake—felt as far away as Istanbul and Athens—occurred about 10 miles north of the Greek island of Samos, according to U.S. Geological Survey. At least 17 people were dead and more than 700 injured in Turkey, according to Turkey’s disaster management agency, which said one of the victims had drowned. At least 20 structures, including some multistory apartment buildings in Izmir, collapsed and rescue crews and volunteers combed through the rubble into the night. It was the second major earthquake to hit Turkey this year. In January, at least 41 people were killed in an earthquake that struck Elazig in central Turkey.

Hungry bears with a taste for grapes and chestnuts are causing havoc in Japan (Washington Post) Hungry bears with a taste for grapes and chestnuts are causing havoc across Japan, and thousands of the animals are ending up dead as a result. Two people have been killed and almost 100 have been injured this year as human-bear encounters soar, according to Environment Ministry data and media reports. Four prefectures have put residents on high alert, with some children carrying bells on their way to school. Farmers are counting the cost this week after bears raided their vineyards and munched through thousands of dollars’ worth of premium grapes. Crop losses in many areas are rising. But the news is even more grisly for the bears. More than 9,000 Asiatic black bears have been caught and killed since the start of 2019, according to the Environment Ministry, by far the highest rate since data began in 1950. Bears have been spotted in school grounds and even wandering around a shopping mall in central Japan’s Ishikawa prefecture in recent weeks. Another injured four people, at one point ramming into a police car and puncturing a tire with its claws. A shortage of acorns is propelling the bears down from their mountain homes in search of food ahead of their winter hibernation. As Japan’s rural population shrinks, people have pulled out of the foothills that formed buffer zones between the bears’ mountain homes and the flatlands where people live. “Those farmlands have been abandoned, and they have grown into forests,” said Shinichi Koike, associate professor at Tokyo University of Agriculture and Technology. “They in turn become part of the habitat for bears, boars and monkeys. Gradually, the habitat for wild animals is expanding toward flatter areas across Japan, and approaching the flat areas just behind populated areas.”

Protesting Thai students boycott royal graduation day (Reuters) Some students sympathetic to Thai protesters said on Friday they were boycotting graduation ceremonies led by King Maha Vajiralongkorn in a show of anger at the monarchy amid growing calls to reform it. The ceremonies, at which the monarch personally hands out degrees, are a rite of passage for graduates and their families with photographs of the moment displayed with pride in many Thai homes. But protests since mid-July have brought open criticism of the monarchy and calls to curb its power, defying a longstanding taboo and lese majeste laws that set a jail term of up to 15 years for criticism of the king or his family.

Angered at French call to ‘reform’ Islam, tens of thousands gather in protests across Muslim-majority countries (Washington Post) Anti-French protests erupted across Muslim-majority countries on Friday, with tens of thousands expressing anger over the French government’s call for “reform” of Islam, a day after three were killed in a church in what President Emmanuel Macron referred to as “an Islamist terrorist attack.” In Bangladesh’s capital Dhaka, police said 20,000 protesters took to the streets after Friday prayers, rallying under the banner of two Islamist groups. The demonstrators carried signs reading: “Stop Religious Defamation,” “Freedom of Speech is not Freedom to Abuse,” and “Boycott French Products.” Thousands of Muslims marching in Pakistan stomped over French flags while calling for boycotts of French products after prayers, the Associated Press reported. Police officers blocked roads near the French Embassy in Islamabad, the capital, in anticipation of protests there, according to the AP. The demonstrations were the latest sign of rising anger across the Muslim world, directed at Macron’s government’s rhetoric defending cartoons published by Charlie Hebdo, a satirical newspaper, which denigrated the prophet Muhammad. France has been stunned by a series of deadly knife attacks carried out by Muslim assailants in several cities. But the response to the violence by the French authorities, which included a crackdown on Islamist groups, has energized parts of the Arab and Muslim world like few issues in recent memory.

[gaiatheorist]

Careful what you wish for.

Earlier in the year, I was unreasonably excited that more than one hedgehog was visiting my garden to noisily snuffle and snaffle up the food scraps that I’m still throwing out. “If there’s ‘one of each’, I might have BABY hedgehogs!”

Maybe I should have ‘wished for’ the winning lottery numbers, and bought a ticket instead? There’s currently a small hedgehog in my house, I think I last heard it mooching and snuffling down the side of my desk. I’m not ‘allowed’ to keep it, I jokingly messaged my son to ask if I could, and he responded “Mum, I’m not your Mum, don’t ask me that!”, we’re as bad as each other.

I’d used up all of my fully-functional hours of screen-time typing up my ‘impact statement’ for my PIP tribunal. (The advocate said he would do it ‘for’ me, but I don’t trust him as far as I could throw him, I have reported his conduct to my MP’s secretary, if he’s reneging on actions promised to me, he’s probably doing it to more-vulnerable people as well. I have food in my cupboards, and, through a bit of wrangling with one of my utility providers, I’m able to leave the electric heater on a low setting, some people won’t have had the luxury of being able to pre-plan their poverty-response.) It was a bit difficult to suppress my irritation with him, I was part-way through composing the email to the MP’s team when he emailed me the form he should have sent in September, the one I’ve been chasing in earnest for a week now. I responded that I was in the middle of something, but would print and post the form as soon as I’d completed the task I was on. *Ping* Not two minutes after he’d sent the email I’d already replied to, a text-message “Check your email, please.” *Suppressed scream, check YOUR email, I’ve already replied.* 

I’d done my mandatory work-search on the horrible ‘Universal JobMatch’ website, because I’m paranoid that if the computer systems check, and I haven’t logged on there, I’ll be sanctioned. There were a couple of semi-suitable jobs, but I didn’t apply for them, because they were both expired. One of them expired in May, and I had a very tinfoil-hat moment about that being a test, to see if I was actually looking at the adverts, so I noted in my ‘activity history’ that I’d viewed the vacancies, and that they were expired. I’d missed a call from the lettings agents while I was in the bath, and called them back. “The landlord wants to send someone to fix your heating Friday or Saturday, can you be in?” 

“I have an appointment at 10am on Friday, I can be back here for 11? Saturday’s better, I’m free all day.” (She’d said Friday OR Saturday, but the first plumber said it was a two-day job...)   

“Oh, I’ll have to speak to he landlord, then, I’ll phone you back when I have.” She didn’t phone back, and there’s every chance I’m going to end up having to cancel my counselling appointment on Friday morning, because I NEED the heating working.

Between emailing my MP’s office, NOT snapping at the dodgy advocate, and typing up the long and laborious table of everything that’s wrong with me, I’d gone out to the back doorstep for a cigarette. (Yes, I know, Mums, no more tobacco once I’ve finished this pouch.) There it was, about half-past-noon, a little hedgehog ran past my doorstep, and then stopped, trembling and hyper-ventilating on my back lawn. Hedgehogs are nocturnal, and I knew I’d seen something online about what to do with daylight-hedgehogs. I couldn’t remember if there was some illness or something making them behave abnormally, so the FIRST thing my brain decided was that it was almost certainly a zombie-hedgehog. (Which reminds me, I still haven’t watched yesterday’s The Walking Dead.) That’s what my brain does, it thinks up the most ludicrous and least likely scenario first, and then works backwards, not always logically, how I manage to get my trousers on the right way around in the morning is a minor miracle. 

I messaged Creepy Carpet Tile Man “Oi, Terry Nutkins, there’s a hedgehog in my garden in daylight, do I move it, or leave it?” The original ‘move it’ idea had been to shift it under the bushes where the other hedgehogs bugger off to at dawn, and hope it found its way ‘home’. (Mad image of hedgehog-Mum shouting at Kevin the teenager-hedgehog for staying out all day...) My cognition was already slipping at that point, I’d had a run of really poor sleep, with the additional stress of the PIP-thing, and the unreliable advocate. What I should have done is Google-searched (other search engines are available) for the daylight-hedgehog article. Instead, I’d messaged a wildlife buff, and now I’m worrying I might have upset him, because he’s missing the ends of some of his fingers, and the ‘Nutkins’ reference might have made him think I was mocking his infirmity. Welcome to my head. 

Creepy Carpet Tile Man didn’t respond until early evening, and I didn’t fancy the conscience-grief of just leaving the hedgehog there, and finding it toes-up, or disembowelled by a cat the next day. I put a towel down inside a box, and chucked some pate in. (I might have brain damage, but I’m not daft enough to give a hedgehog bread and milk.) I picked the hedgehog up, brought it into the house, and put it in the box. It didn’t ball-up, or try to escape, the un-hedgehog behaviour was concerning, I fully expected to be putting a cold hedgehog in my general waste bin, but I couldn’t not-try.  (Yes, it probably does have fleas, and yes, it does have ticks, I can see them.) Back to the laptop, to continue with the impact statement, because the advocate has absolutely no idea what he’s dealing with, and keeps telling me I have a ‘really strong case’, when he knows diddly-squat about me. Thinking on, I’d better read back through the whole thing, I clearly wasn’t firing on all cylinders, because I was messing about with a hedgehog.

The hedgehog warmed up a bit, and ate some of the pate, then it warmed up a bit more, and started exploring the box. I didn’t get my hopes up too high, and I’ve given myself a stonking upset stomach by eating the crust from a chicken pasty, to give the hoglet the meat. (No lactose, I checked.) I also gave it some kebab meat I’d found in the back of the freezer, and a saucer of chicken stew, with a banana, it went mad for the kebab meat and chicken, but doesn’t seem interested in the banana. 

I messaged my son a series of photos of the hoglet, unfortunately, he was in lectures, so couldn’t immediately respond to his probably-insane mother to ask her what on earth she thought she was going to do with a hedgehog. (He did say it’s not up to him whether I keep it... I’m not keeping it, it’s a wild animal, it’s not a pet.) Creepy Carpet Tile Man replied that I should give the hedgehog dog-food, and not let it out until it weighed 500g. I pointed out that, not having a dog, I had no dog-food, but that the little beast was very active, and chowing down on the ‘clean’ (ish) meat I’d been able to find. 

I spent a few hours yesterday evening watching the adorable little creature scamper around my living room. At one point it climbed into a shelving unit that I’ve now blocked off, so it doesn’t try to eat my Yankee Candles. It’s obviously quite a young one, because it was biting my toes. Bear with me, I’m not suggesting that adult hedgehogs would be repelled by my hooves, it was the soft-mouthed ‘play’ bite that young animals do to attract the attention of their parents or litter-mates, the grab-and-tug. Hedgehog, I’ve brought you indoors, and given you food, shelter, and warmth, but if you think I’m going to hand-feed you, because you’re impossibly cute, you’re wrong, there’s food over there, you can smell it, go and forage.  

I woke up at 4am, reasonably optimistic that the hedgehog would still be alive, and it was. I could hear it scuttling about behind the sofa before it poked its cute snout out, and snaffled some more kebab-meat. It really is adorable, but I’m not getting attached to it. I’m limiting my ‘interaction’ with it, I’m not talking to it, or handling it any more than I absolutely have to, because it needs to know that humans aren’t all trustworthy. It mustn’t ‘get used to’ my voice, or to being handled, and there were a couple of ‘Aw!’ moments this morning, when I saw it ‘behaving like a hedgehog.’ (Yes, it was a tad frustrating trying catch a prickly thing with claws and teeth before it ran off under a cupboard, but running and hiding is how hedgehogs survive.) I put it to ‘bed’ a couple of hours ago, after noticing it had curled up in a ball in front of the heater, tired-toddler style. I’ll buy some cat-food today, and probably phone a rescue centre tomorrow, I have lots of horrible paperwork I need to do while my eyes are still functional, it’s OK in a box covered in a towel for now.

So, I sort-of wished for a baby hedgehog, and now there’s one in a box in my living room. What I’m concentrating on now is ‘wishing’ that I can articulate my disabilities, and the impacts they have on me well enough to show the PIP tribunal panel that I really am struggling, and need help. That’s a pricklier issue than the one asleep in that box over there.    

[bloojayoolie]

Cats, Children, and Click: pictureperfect ww Super cute, sweet, gentle, social, good manners - NEUTERED & Ready 2 Go! @manhattan acc waiting 4 U! UKE 64565 3 years old, 90 lbs TO BE KILLED - 6/15/2019 WHAT A CUTIE <3 A volunteer writes: If a tall drink of water is what you're craving this steamy summer, have I got the pup for you. Luke's last name may not be Skywalker but this boy is truly a star. From his thoroughbred legs to his baby doe eyes to the tip of this vanilla-cream toes. Luke may be a bigger boy at approximately 90 pounds but my guess is at least 50 of that is heart as he truly couldn't be more gentle. Whether strolling on the street, posing effortlessly for photos (modeling contract anyone?), or taking his snacks so sweetly you barely know they're gone, this handsome hunk is the perfect combo of manners and hubba-hubba. Come meet him while you can. Luke is waiting in adoptions at Manhattan ACC. LUKE@MANHATTAN ACC Hello, my name is Luke My animal id is #64565 I am a desexed male rust dog at the Manhattan Animal Care Center The shelter thinks I am about 3 years old, 90 lbs Came into shelter as owner surrender June 1, 2019 Reason Stated: NO TIME FOR ANIMAL Luke is at risk for behavioral reasons. Luke has displayed dog reactivity at the care center with the potential to redirect on to the handler. Luke would be best suited for an experienced adopter who can provide the necessary behavior modification and reward based training. Medically, Luke seems healthy. My medical notes are... Weight: 90.2 lbs Vet Notes 4/06/2019 [DVM Intake] DVM Intake Exam Estimated age:3y Microchip noted on Intake?y Microchip Number (If Applicable):982000363894706 History :o surrender Subjective: Observed Behavior -nervous, whale eyed , tail tucked. accepts treats eagerly. muzzled as precaution Evidence of Cruelty seen -n Evidence of Trauma seen -n Objective T = P =60 R =wnl BCS 6/9 EENT: Eyes clear, ears clean, no nasal or ocular discharge noted Oral Exam:clean teeth in front, limited exam PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, Lungs clear, eupnic ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated U/G: neutered male MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Assessment: healthy Prognosis:good Plan: no treatment Details on my behavior are... Behavior Condition: 2. Blue Behavior History Behavior Assessment Luke was very gentle and quiet during intake. He allowed for all handling and collaring. He was also very quiet and went in to his kennel without trouble. He was seen having no behavior issues at the time of intake. Date of Intake: 6/1/2019 Spay/Neuter Status: Neutered Basic Information:: Client came in to surrender his 3 yr old male large mixed breed Luke. Client stated that he could not care for Luke any longer. He said stated that his job does not allow him time to take of Luke. He has had Luke since he was 8 weeks old. Previously lived with:: Adults 4 How is this dog around strangers?: Friendly no agression How is this dog around children?: Friendly no argression How is this dog around other dogs?: Very playful around tother dogs. No agression observed How is this dog around cats?: Agressive , does not tolerate cats Resource guarding:: No guarding Bite history:: NO bite history Housetrained:: Yes Energy level/descriptors:: medium Has this dog ever had any medical issues?: No For a New Family to Know: Luke is a very calm and gentle dog. He is house broken and will walk great on the leash. He likes other dogs but does not do well with cats. He eats hard food and also loves ice cream as a dessert. he loves playing catch with balls and he is use to having his own bed. ================ Date of intake:: 6/1/2019 Means of surrender (length of time in previous home):: Owner Surrender (In home for 3 years) Previously lived with:: Adults Behavior toward strangers:: Friendly Behavior toward children:: Friendly Behavior toward dogs:: Playful Behavior toward cats:: Aggressive Resource guarding:: None reported Bite history:: None reported Housetrained:: Yes Energy level/descriptors:: Luke is described as very calm and gentle with a medium level of activity. Date of assessment:: 6/3/2019 Summary:: Leash Walking Strength and pulling: Hard Reactivity to humans: None Reactivity to dogs: None Leash walking comments: None Sociability Loose in room (15-20 seconds): Distracted, does not approach – active, exploring environment Call over: Approaches readily Sociability comments: Body soft, sniffing room Handling Soft handling: Seeks contact Exuberant handling: Seeks contact Comments: Body soft, leans into pets Arousal Jog: Engages in play (loose) Arousal comments: None Knock: Approaches (loose) Knock Comments: None Toy: No response Toy comments: None Summary:: Luke's previous owner has described him to behave playfully around other dogs. Slow introductions are recommended to other dogs who are social and playful. 6/3: Luke is highly social and playful when introduced off leash to dogs in the care center. 6/4: Luke engages in bouts of play. 6/5: Today, Luke keeps to himself. He corrects play when less interested. 6/7: Luke engages in exuberant play with a female dog today. 6/8: Luke hard barks at a select female when introduced at the gate. When introduced to a known female dog, Luke engages in play with her. Date of intake:: 6/1/2019 Summary:: Gentle, quiet, allowed handling ENERGY LEVEL:: Luke is described as having a medium level of activity. IN SHELTER OBSERVATIONS:: 6/12/19: Luke has become increasingly reactive towards other dogs. While removing Luke from his kennel, he quickly begins reacting to the other dogs in the adjacent kennels. During this reactivity, he turns towards the handler, thrashing and snapping. This increase in reactivity makes him difficult to handle safely while removing him from the kennel. Once outside on leash, Luke pulls towards passing dogs and barks and growls at one dog in particular. On returning to his kennel, Luke still reacts towards other dogs so handlers use two leashes to return him quickly and safely. BEHAVIOR DETERMINATION:: Level 2 Behavior Asilomar: TM - Treatable-Manageable Recommendations:: No cats Potential challenges: : On-leash reactivity/barrier frustration Potential challenges comments:: On-leash reactivity/barrier frustration: Luke has become more on-leash reactive here at the care center. While outside on leash, he pulls towards dogs and is reported to bark and growl at some dogs while outside on leash. Please see handout on On-leash reactivity/barrier frustration. *** TO FOSTER OR ADOPT *** HOW TO RESERVE A “TO BE KILLED” DOG ONLINE (only for those who can get to the shelter IN PERSON to complete the adoption process, and only for the dogs on the list NOT marked New Hope Rescue Only). Follow our Step by Step directions below! *PLEASE NOTE – YOU MUST USE A PC OR TABLET – PHONE RESERVES WILL NOT WORK! ** STEP 1: CLICK ON THIS RESERVE LINK: https://newhope.shelterbuddy.com/Animal/List Step 2: Go to the red menu button on the top right corner, click register and fill in your info. Step 3: Go to your email and verify account \ Step 4: Go back to the website, click the menu button and view available dogs Step 5: Scroll to the animal you are interested and click reserve STEP 6 ( MOST IMPORTANT STEP ): GO TO THE MENU AGAIN AND VIEW YOUR CART. THE ANIMAL SHOULD NOW BE IN YOUR CART! Step 7: Fill in your credit card info and complete transaction HOW TO FOSTER OR ADOPT IF YOU *CANNOT* GET TO THE SHELTER IN PERSON, OR IF THE DOG IS NEW HOPE RESCUE ONLY! You must live within 3 – 4 hours of NY, NJ, PA, CT, RI, DE, MD, MA, NH, VT, ME or Norther VA. Please PM our page for assistance. You will need to fill out applications with a New Hope Rescue Partner to foster or adopt a dog on the To Be Killed list, including those labelled Rescue Only. Hurry please, time is short, and the Rescues need time to process the applications. Shelter contact information Phone number (212) 788-4000 Email adoption@nycacc.org Shelter Addresses: Brooklyn Shelter: 2336 Linden Boulevard Brooklyn, NY 11208 Manhattan Shelter: 326 East 110 St. New York, NY 10029 Staten Island Shelter: 3139 Veterans Road West Staten Island, NY 10309 * NEW NYC ACC RATING SYSTEM * Level 1 Dogs with Level 1 determinations are suitable for the majority of homes. These dogs are not displaying concerning behaviors in shelter, and the owner surrender profile (where available) is positive. Level 2 Dogs with Level 2 determinations will be suitable for adopters with some previous dog experience. They will have displayed behavior in the shelter (or have owner reported behavior) that requires some training, or is simply not suitable for an adopter with minimal experience. Level 3 Dogs with Level 3 determinations will need to go to homes with experienced adopters, and the ACC strongly suggest that the adopter have prior experience with the challenges described and/or an understanding of the challenge and how to manage it safely in a home environment. In many cases, a trainer will be needed to manage and work on the behaviors safely in a home environment. PLEASE ADOPT. DON'T SHOP. FOSTERS ROCK TOO. :)

[norah-gallagher]

norah.

Beginning

Age?: 27 Piercings?: 2 Any tattoos?: A few. Have they ever considered plastic surgery? What would they get done?: Probably her boobs or butt but she’d never touch her face.  Give 5 facts about their appearance: Blonde, blue eyes, symmetrical face, long legs, lots of hair.

General

Favorite and least favorite holiday?: Favorite: Doesn’t. Least favorite: Care. What food can they never turn down?: Strawberries What is their diet like? Are they vegetarian, vegan? Vegetarian, on her way to vegan Are they more of a snacker throughout the day, or do they eat three meals and call it a day?:  Meals. Where do they prefer to read? The sofa, in bed, at a table, on the porch, in a cafe?: Nowhere. Do they watch sports? Favorite teams?: She likes baseball. Do they have cable, or do they rely mostly on Netflix, Hulu, and other streaming services?: Netflix and illegal websites.  What are 3 Netflix shows they like?: House of cards, Chelsea, Shameless Hobbies and interests?: Taxidermy mostly. What social groups or activities do they attend?: Whatever’s going on at work and sometimes get togethers with her old co-workers. Are they a good cook?: It’s aight. Do they like to take photos?: Yes. She’s all over instagram.  Favorite insult/cuss word?: Motherfucker. Do they exercise? What do they do?: Yoga. Do they drink?: Not right now, but not too much in general. What kind of drunk are they?: Affectionate, but she can’t remember the last time she got drunk. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere, what would they pack?: She’d rather not go anywhere where she’s only allowed to take one bag. 

Childhood

What type of discipline were they subjected to at home? Strict? Lenient?: "Strict” Were they overprotected? Sheltered?: Neither. She did what she wanted. Did they feel affection or rejection?: Both. What was their family’s economic status?: They had money. Brothers, sisters? Who do they like? Who do they hate? Why?: Half sister and half brother. She doesn’t care for the sister but Jack’s her favorite dude.  What do they think of their father? What do they love or hate about him?: Adulterous. Manipulative. Petty. Fat. Their mother? What do they think of her? What do they love or hate about her?: Alcoholic. Weak.

Children

What toys did they play with as a child?: Barbies and stuff. Have they ever had an imaginary friend?: No. Did they have a lot of friends as a kid? Did they keep any of them into adulthood?: Yes but they suck now. Did they have pets as a kid? Do they have any now?: No, she had a dog but someone stole him.  What clique did they fit into in high school? Were they part of any clubs/sports?: She was the punk girl that got into fights and went to emo shows at night.  What degree do they have? GED, HS, College, Ph.D.?: HS Do they like children? Do children like them?: She thinks some babies are cute but she’s never really interacted with any. Do they have/want children?: She’s going to pop one out soon. What kind of parent are they/would they be?: Hopefully a mix between Lorelai Gilmore and Mrs. George

Lust

Do looks mean anything to them? Could they fall in love with someone they thought was ugly?: Never ever. Do they like kissing in public?: Sure. How many people did they kiss in 2012?: A few. Virgin?: No. Have they had sex with a man?: Yes. Have they had sex with a woman?: Yes. Have they been with someone older than them?: Yes. Have they had sex this year?: Yes. How many times did they have sex last year?: A lot. How many sexual partners did they have?: One. Foreplay, yes or no?: If she’s not in a hurry. What is their definition of having sex?:  Genitals touching anything. What is their definition of cheating?: Bending over for someone who isn’t your girlfriend.

Crush

Do they get jealous easily?: Only when pregnant, apparently. When is the last time they felt jealous?: When Gunner ran after Lacey and left her in bed that one time.  Do they forgive betrayal?: No. Have they ever been cheated on?: Yes. Have they ever cheated on someone?: No.  Have they ever cried over someone?: She’s gonna say no. Have they ever experienced unrequited love?: No. Have they ever wanted someone they couldn’t have?: No. Have they ever liked one of their best friends?: No. Have they ever liked someone they didn’t expect to?: Yes, Gunner. Do they think someone has feelings for them?: Pretty sure of it now Who is the last person they hugged?: Kai. Who was their first kiss?: Jimmy in kindergarten  Do they have a crush on anyone?: Yes. Describe their crush: It’s Gunner. Name five people they find attractive: Gunner, Kai, El, Ash, Don

Love

Has anyone told them they don’t want to ever lose them?: Yes. If their first love knocked on their door with an apology, would they accept and who would it be?: No.  What’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for them?: Moved states for her. Were they single at all this year?: Yes. Do they want to be in a relationship in a year?: I mean if it happens What was their longest relationship? How long did it last?: Kai. A year or two? What has been the biggest age difference between them and one of their partners?:  Almost 30 but it was for work.  What’s their opinion on age differences in relationships?: Not a big deal. How many relationships have they been in?: One, going on two.  Why did their last relationship fail?: He cheated on her. Anything they want to say to their ex?: He’s one of the best people she’s ever met. Are relationships worth it?: Eh. Are they in a relationship now?: Yes. What is their favorite thing about their partner?: He’s hot. When was the last time they told someone they loved them?: It’s been a very long time. Is there someone they will never forget?: Kai. Is there anyone they’ve given up on? Why?: Well.  Do they ever want to get married?: Sure. She’d look great in a gown.  Do they think they’ll be married in five years?: If she gets there. Describe their perfect person: Someone ballsy with a back bone that can do the back and forth with her but still cuddle her when she feels like being cuddled. 

In Depth

The Beatles or The Rolling Stones?: Mick forever. If they could live and be healthy without sleeping or eating/drinking, which would they cut out of their life?: Eating. Was the first crush in their life something they had or something someone had on them?: Someone had on her. Would you rather burn or freeze to death?: Burn. Could you live without having sex ever (again) in exchange for eternal youth?: Yes. What was the worst nightmare they ever had?: Kai was dead.  If they could get away with one murder in their lifetime without any legal, social, or emotional repercussions, would they kill someone?: Too much work.  Would they rather spend one year with your one true love just to never see them again or the rest of their life with second best?: She’ll pass. If it meant it would solve all world hunger, war, disease, and bigotry, would they spend the rest of eternity in Hell?: If hell isn’t all that bad, maybe.