#the line is a perfect setup for innuendo

[monst]

Escalation

Tim Drake x Reader

Summary: Tim had been orbiting you for a while now. It’s been weeks of him trying to get your attention, not that he hadn’t managed to grab it, you were just really good at pretending to be oblivious. Why were you being purposefully oblivious when you clearly fancied him? Well? He was prone to escalation.

Warnings: 18+ content (MDI), Snapchat, M. Masterbastion, Unsolicited video, Dubious phone sex (Reader calls Tim and doesn't know he's getting off but is into it)

WC: 1.1k

    He thought he was slick. But he was surprisingly more predictable than you originally thought, that or he was starting to get really desperate. Your first clue into his most recent scheme was his story, his story on Snap of all places. It wasn’t often that Tim used the app nor was it often that he posted his current location. Said location turned out to be a dive bar in the fashion district with his civilian friends. You let out a low whistle when you caught a glimpse of his outfit for the night. You couldn't lie it was a cute setup. 

    So, it really wasn’t a surprise when you received a snap a couple hours into the night. See Tim had been orbiting you for a while now. It’s been weeks of him trying to get your attention, not that he hadn’t managed to grab it, you were just really good at pretending to be oblivious. Why were you being purposefully oblivious when you clearly fancied him? Well? He was prone to escalation. And you were morbidly curious to see what scheme he’d cook up next.

    When you first caught on to his feelings for you it was by his change in style, some stronger cologne, and him just barely entering your personal space. It was ridiculously flattering catching him in the act of getting into the perfect pose for you to walk in on. But as if that wasn’t enough for him he’d also gotten very flirty, every other sentence an innuendo you had to pretend to miss, and very interesting pictures of him had begun to fill your shared group chat. Now you would have given him a sign much sooner had he not pulled that stunt two weeks ago. Jeez, he was practically throwing himself at you and at Tam’s birthday party no less. If you had to guess it was that, that had you playing pretend. You wanted to see how far he’d go till he had no choice but to just come out and say it. 

    But back to that unopened snap. You figured it’d be some staged ‘randomly drunk shenanigans’. If you had to take a guess, considering the bar he was patroning he was probably going to be grinding on a pole, pretty face flushed a rosy pink, glossy lips muttering the song lyrics, his sultry blue eyes half lidded gazing into whichever camera was catching the roll of his hips against the metal, probably running pale hands down his glitter covered skin, see through shirt clinging to his muscles as his shapely legs gripped onto the pole. He was surprisingly good at pole dancing and the thought of it being a free show had you sat on your couch to watch. 

    “Okay Timmy” You snickered “Let’s se-

        Your breath caught in your throat, your eyes moving across the screen rapidly as you took the sight laid out before you. 

       “No way” You couldn’t see anything in the room save for what the blue light of his computer screen revealed. And reveal it did. You heard yourself swallow, as your eyes followed his tongue swiping against his plump bottom lip. They parted out of frame when his head slipped back, the long column of his pale neck a stark contrast against his black gaming chair. It was the faded scar on his neck that confirmed his identity for you. Your eyes went lower, watching as his chest rose and fell, pebbled pink nipples almost distracting you from the bead of sweat cutting a line down his pecs. 

    “Ungh f-fuck” You nearly jumped at the groan. Eyes widening as you were provided with audio. His panting could be heard from your phone speaker, and movement had your eyes slipping further down his body. 

        “Jesus” you exhaled. You knew Tim was pretty but his cock had no right in sharing that with the rest of him. You felt your cheeks warm at the sight parted thighs, his palm squeezing the base of his surprisingly generously thick length.

    He let out a tantalizing whimper as he tugged his hand upwards, bucking his hips into his fist. The wet slide made easier with how much precum his reddening tip leaked. His other hand was gripping the arm of the chair tight, blue veins popping against his fair complexion. 

       “Mmm just like that.” He moaned. He suddenly paused and you brought your phone in closer. He leaned forward the lower half of his face back in frame as his slickend fingers grabbed his phone from the desk. You let out a shuddered breath at his unabashed moan when he pulled the device to his face to pick up a call. His palm came down to squeeze at his heavy sack, once again bucking into his grip. 

     His teeth caught his bottom lip. As he placed his phone in the crook of his neck, his other hand coming down to tease the head of his drooling cock, resuming a slow pace.. He huffed out a laugh in response to whoever was speaking. 

     “Me?” He gasped, voice a pitch higher. He coughed “W-working out… Ngh… Weahights lifting rigght now” He lied. 

     “‘Course” he let out a breathless laugh and it was then that you clocked it. 

     “He’s crazy” You breathed out. “Absolutely shameless.” As you squirmed you couldn’t help but remember that call, you really had hung up none the wiser. You really shouldn’t have found it as hot as you did. You bit your lip when the call dropped and he let his phone fall. His hand furiously working his throbbing length. He gaped, his head falling back again, his dark locks sticking to his flushed cheeks. 

     “Need you so fucking bad” He whined. His pink tongue peeked out from his pretty lips, pleasured mewls flowing freely. He leaned forward one hand gripping the edge of the desk while turning his head into his arm. “Mm god yes, wanna come inside you please” The muscles in his arm trembled as he came with a whimper that could arguably be your name. You watched in silence as he caught his breath, his skin flushed all the way down to his shoulders. Then abruptly the video ended. You let out a shaky breath, staring at the snap, eyes glued to the words Opened. 

      You’d really like nothing more than to save it to the chat or better yet replay it in bed. 

   “Well damn,” It’d be difficult to play this one off but you were crafty. Surly you’d figure something out.. Pretend you couldn’t open the video? But then again did you really want to? Well.. maybe just a bit longer. Tim’s always been the type to outdo himself. You can only wonder how this time. 

[romanceyourdemons]

the premise of alien resurrection (1997) is so forced it strains all suspension of disbelief and makes a mockery of ripley’s self-sacrifice at the end of the previous film—but the previous film is so dull and this film so interesting, and its treatment of the cartoonish premise is so attentive and responsible, that i have no grounds to criticize the “somehow palpatine returned” pretense of the narrative. this collaboration between two famously quirky filmmakers, screenwriter joss whedon and director jean-pierre jeunet, works beautifully, with jeunet’s lighthearted, almost cartoonishly heightened visuals reminiscent of delicatessen (1991) beautifully complimenting and adding liveliness to whedon’s wry dialogue and vivid character concepts. although the film smacks strongly of whedon’s now done-to-death style, prefiguring firefly and filled to the brim with quips and innuendoes, the self-effacing and fast-paced narrative is a breath of fresh air compared to the terse, self-serious previous films—and yet the film does not lose track of what is most significant to both the franchise and its own setup. with inventive, goopy visuals and heartrending scenarios, the film explores the shifting boundaries of humanity, the horror and power of being (or not being but being viewed as) a woman, violence and motherhood, and the blurred line between the erotic and horror, this time in a primarily lesbian way. the film makes sure to follow through with the implications of its excuse for bringing ripley back, that she and the alien queen were cloned from a frozen drop of her blood, by mixing up human and xenomorph traits in both cloned parties and gracefully retiring ripley from her role as exhausted final girl, making her a quasi-human thing instead. the final product is not a perfect film, with a cluttered first act and dialogue that is sometimes too clever for its own good and undercuts significant emotional beats; however, as a sequel to the alien franchise, it does an admirable job. i consider alien resurrection (1997) the third-best alien film yet created, after the first two, and i would highly recommend it

[idristardis]

densi peeps, please tell me...

...that one of you is working on a smutty post-ep, engagement-celebration fic called More Bang Than Bling. I mean...c’moooooon. It needs to happen.

[deceitfullyanxioussss]

Intruloceit: It/Its pronouns Sequel

Part 1

There will be a third part eventually, but can be read stand-alone.

Series Summary:  Logan is non-binary and uses it/its pronouns. When Patton notices Thomas's recent interest in it/its pronouns, it decides to come out. Patton doesn't take it too kindly, and Logan sinks out. Janus comes to visit Logan in its room, some confessions are made and Janus asks Logan to enter a polyamorous relationship with Remus and him, to which Logan says yes.

Chapter Summary: After Janus asks Logan to enter a polyamorous relationship, and it agrees, the two of them leave to go inform Remus about his new date mate.

CW:  Cursing, Remus being Remus, sexual innuendos, Implied U!Patton (Let me know if more needs to be added)

Also let me know if I made a mistake with any pronouns!

After what felt like forever, the two sides finally parted. Their hearts seemed to be fluttering in sync as they lovingly gazed into the other's blushing face. They still held each other tightly in their arms as they lightly panted, breaths tickling the other’s cheeks.

After a rather long, but not uncomfortable silence, Logan cleared its throat. “So, uhm. That happened.” Its voice croaked anxiously as it's gaze traveled to the carpet below. Oh geez, it really didn’t know anything about kissing... or relationships in general.

It caught Deceit nodding from its peripheral. “It certainly did,” he replied, his own voice laced with a level of nervousness that made Logan feel a little better about the situation.

Logan rested its head upon Deceit’s shoulder as they stood and swayed in the comfortable embrace of one other for who knows how long.

Logan’s mind wondered as the gentle side-to-side motion relaxed it, any and all worries leaving its body. It thought back to the events of earlier.

Chuckling rang through its ears. Patton’s cruel, twisted smile bore into its soul. “That’s ridiculous. No, you don’t Logan.” 

---

Maybe I’m not actually an it. Thomas is cisgender, so I should be too, right? I’m not an it. 

--- 

"Logan, dear, pay no mind to Patton. It/its are a perfect set of pronouns."

Deceit’s hushed reassurance came through, sinking into its chest like the sweetest jam to ever exist. It felt good to be accepted. It felt good to be itself, and to be allowed to be itself.

Deceit’s deep, smooth voice brought him back to the present, “You’re not terribly busy right now, are you? I’m sure Remus is wondering where I am by now. I'm almost sure he'd be stoked to see you too.”

Logan hummed, glancing over to the large calendar that hung nearby and considered it. Nothing terribly important. Not that it would have a lot of trouble catching up, anyway. It looked back to a calm, patient Deceit.

Logan doesn’t ever remember seeing Deceit so relaxed and unwound. Logan was sure that this was its favourite of Deceit’s expressions.

It brought its attention back to answering Deceit’s question, nodding with a quiet “I’d love that too.”

With that, Deceit easily whisked them away with a majestic flourish of yellow wisps.

Logan found itself in a room shrouded in a dull yellow hue. The wallpaper was a gorgeous pattern of black and yellow diamonds. The floorings were brown carpet, almost resembling dirt. Vegetation seemed to be everywhere, vines creeping up the walls and hanging from the ceiling, miniature trees and bushes lining the corners, and little caves littered the corners of the room. Logan carefully crept forward to one of the dens and peered inside, where it saw a small, likely young snake, asleep.The next thing it noticed was the rather warm air and took notice of the several heaters on the ceiling. “Wow.” Logan breathed as it marveled at it all. “Quite the impressive setup, Deceit.”Logan couldn’t help its curious nature and began to climb up the staircase, only then noticing the  My Chemical Romance  poster on the wall, sticking out like a sore thumb against the natural feel of the rest of the room. It couldn’t help but smirk at the small detail.

It continued its trek up the steps, letting the comforting warmth seep into its body. It was vaguely aware of Deceit’s soft footsteps following it up the stairs, but it didn’t really mind. It was much more transfixed by the whole layout of the bedroom that greeted him at the top. It was much the same as the living room below, but it noticed there was an icky green weighted blanket atop the master bed.It walked over and gave it an experimental lift, turning to Deceit when the weight tugging down on its arm confirmed its initial thoughts. “You have a weighted blanket?”

Deceit seemed to immediately stand up taller, almost as if he were about to defend himself, but slowly relaxed. Suddenly looking a lot more sheepish, Deceit nodded in confirmation. “They’re comforting. Remus made it for me as a gift. That’s why it’s green.”

Logan smiled warmly, smoothing the blanket back out. “That’s very sweet of him, isn’t it?” It said, a fondness in its voice.Deceit hummed in agreement from behind. "He's a chaotic, horny bastard, but he can be really sweet when he wants to be."

Logan grinned at the other's comment, letting out a quiet chuckle as it walked back to its boyfriend. “I believe it’ll be alright for us to go find Remus now. I apologize for the wait, I became rather enraptured by the layout of your room.”

The scaled side smiled and transported them once more into the Dark Mindpalace, and it barely got a chance to take anything in before a flash of green and black whipped by it. Said green and black blob had victoriously tackled Deceit into a bone-crushing hug on the floor, peppering his scales with much-needed affection. Logan couldn’t help but smirk at the whole situation, and it just had to laugh when Deceit’s eyes looked up at it with a desperate plea for help.

Its laugh seemed to be enough though, as Remus’s head snapped up at the sound of someone else in the room. “Logan!” he exclaimed, clambering up onto his feet, pulling Deceit up with him.

“Hello,” Logan responded, giving a little wave.

“Not that I don’t appreciate the visit, Pier-Logi, but what’s got you here? I thought the other’s would never allow another light to risk ‘being infected by those wretched sinners’.”

“They actually don’t know I’m here.” Logan shrugged. “You are right, though. They probably would say something like that.”

Deceit spoke up. “We’re here with some exciting news.”

Remus’s neck snapped with a 180 to look at his snake-like boyfriend, rocking back and forth on his heels, clapping his hands with a speed it has never seen. “Oooooooh!! What’s the news?”

Deceit made a small gesture towards Logan. “Logan is the news. It has decided it wants to be a part of our relationship.”

All movement and sound from the Duke came to a sudden halt as his neck slowly unwound to stare at the logical side with the most shocked expression one has ever dawned. His expression remained for a few solid seconds before snapping back to Deceit. “Romantically?”

Deceit nodded. “Romantically.”

Looking back at Logan, the widest smile stretched across Remus’s face as he started squealing in pure excitement. It got no warning before it got enveloped in a tight, constricting hug from the stinky trash man himself.

"Logan wants to date us, Jay-Jay! Can you believe it!?" His shrill voice rings in Logan's ears as it feels itself being spun around by Remus.

Before long, Logan is set back down. The relief that swept through its body the second its feet touched solid ground again was immense. Logan clutched onto Remus's puffy shoulders for stability as it waited for its world to stop spinning.

"Oh, Lo-lo! This'll be so wonderful, don't you think? Just think!! The three of us! Going on nice, relaxing dates in the park as we watch the children run around on a nearby playground! Long, sleepy horror movie nights as we fall asleep on each other!! Oh! Oh! I know how much sea creatures fascinate you! We could go to an aquarium together!! Even better! I could make one in my imagination filled with creatures from depths you've never seen before! Gasp! We can go even further and dissect them! Oh, hey, we can check out some dorks maybe! That'll be a throwback, wouldn't it, Logi? And then after our dork-inspection date, you can inspect some other dork, if you're catching my drift, nerd-"

"Remus, dear, I think that's enough for now. We wouldn't want to overwhelm our dear Logan so soon, now would we?" Deceit cut in, ruffling the green gremlin's hair affectionately, but gestured to a very confused, flustered, and disorientated Logan.

Remus took notice and bashfully muttered a "whoops" under his breath. Deceit pressed a gentle kiss to Remus's temple and took Logan's hands in his own."Sorry about that, dearest. Are you alright?" Deceit asked with concern.

Logan cleared it's throat as it collected its thoughts. "Yes. Yes, I believe so." It said. "Perhaps I should have anticipated that reaction better. He  is  Remus."

Both Deceit and Remus chuckled at that.

A silence swept through the three sides, save for the soft tinkling sound of Remus fidgeting with a small bell around his wrist.

To the surprise of no-one, Remus was the first to speak up. He turned his head back to Logan with a bright smile. "So, Logi. You're, like, our boyfriend now or…?" He asked, cocking his head to the side.

Logan couldn't help the grimace that found a home on its face.  Boyfriend.  That word felt so wrong in its head, and its chest clenched at the very idea of having to be called such a thing.

It knew that it wasn't Remus's intention to upset it like that, and it couldn't be mad at the other for it. Logan opened its mouth to politely correct Remus, but it felt its throat tighten up the very second it tried to vocalize the first word. All words seemed to be lost to it, and it didn't know why.

Deceit seemed to have caught on to Logan's predicament and moved to answer for it. "It seems as though Logan is uncomfortable with such a term. Perhaps our darling would like to be referred to as something else. Why don't you go ahead and ask, love?"

He reached over and placed a hand on Logan's shoulder comfortingly. "I'm sorry, Logi." He begins, genuinely. "Is Dee-Dee right?” Remus asked curiously. Logan shot Deceit a quick, grateful look before turning back to Remus and nodding. 

“Yes. I believe terms like partner or date-mate would be satisfactory, if you don’t mind.” 

"I don’t mind in the slightest,  pardner ." Remus spoke with a southern drawl, tipping the cowboy hat that materialized on his head.Logan couldn’t help but let out an amused scoff, Deceit following with a dramatic eye roll, but yet both parties smiled warmly at their boyfriend.

“So wait, do I need to know anything about pronouns now?” Remus asked, turning to Deceit, who nodded.“Logan here has told me that it uses it/its pronouns.”

Remus perked up and looked to Logan with a surprised expression. “Woah, really? That’s so cool!” Remus exclaimed, clapping his hands together and bouncing on the heels of his feet. 

Logan dawned a surprised expression himself, blushing slightly at the compliment. “Really? You think it’s cool?”

“Well, yeah! It’s very unique and different! He/him is  boring ! Like, just: ‘Hi I’m Logan and I use he/him pronouns’ is so lame!” Remus groaned, performing an exasperation slouch, pouting his lips before bringing himself back up and placing a hand on his chest in a pridely manner. “Just imagine like: ‘Hi I’m Logan and I use it/its pronouns,  peasant ! I  trans cend  gender! I am a fucking God, and you better fucking treat me as such, you foolish mortal!” Beside Logan, Deceit was hiding a large smile behind a gloved hand. Turning back to see Remus arch backwards and rest the back of his hand on his forehead, it allowed itself to smile as well.

“He/him!” Remus exclaimed once more. “The audacity to be so  dull ! I shall have you to the guillotine this instant! Go! Get outta here with your,” Remus leaned forward and gagged, “ normal , lame shit!'”

From the sounds of it, Deceit had stopped trying to hide his amusement and was now cackling with full-force, which was quickly followed by Remus joining in with his own laughter.

Looking between the two of them, seeing their red faces, Deceit’s fangs, and just the sound of their happiness sent Logan for a whirl and it started laughing along with its two boyfriends.

So, yes, just maybe it was beginning to think dating these two lovable idiots was just a little bit more than satisfactory. Just maybe.

[traincat]

i'm admitedly not as good at continuities as i'd like but i always wondered about the timeline of the American Son fight 'cuz i feel like it would massively mess up Jhonny if he ever found out he dated Daken AFTER he used his freaky pheromones on Pete to hand him over to Norman for torturing, even if he never found out about the whole Skip Westcott bit of awful

I’m going to teach you my trick for lining up continuities. It’s not perfect, especially currently when Marvel is doing this thing where it’s publishing content out of order – ie, an event will still be going on, but we’ll know how it basically ends because the solo titles will have moved ahead of it, THIS IS NOT GREAT, MARVEL – so sometimes you have to fiddle with it a bit, but it generally works okay. Google your issue number of choice – in my case here I did Amazing Spider-Man #597, the issue where Peter and Daken fight – and bring up its page on the Marvel wiki. Underneath the cover image, you’re going to see some dates:

You want released, not published. Click on that and it’ll give you every comic published by Marvel in that week/month. Published first doesn’t always mean happened first, but it’s a good starting point. 

Now we go to Dark Wolverine #75, which is the first issue where Daken makes contact with the Fantastic Four:

So these two events – Daken and Peter’s fight in Avengers Tower during American Son, and Daken making contact with the Fantastic Four – happen very close together, regardless of which one comes first on the actual timeline. I could probably piece it together with a little comprehensive Dark Reign rereading but I don’t have time for that because I’ve taken on eighteen other different rereads. 

I do want to clarify a couple of things, though. While I think the Daken vs Peter fight is an interesting one due to the combination of their skill sets, and while Daken’s pheromone abilities often take on a sexual connotation with their use, that’s not what’s happening in the Daken vs Peter fight. Daken specifically is using his powers in the context of this fight to throw off Peter’s depth perception and visual acuity, which means Peter’s hits – and let’s remember Peter has the superior strength – don’t land:

Nothing about Daken’s powers sounds like something pheromones can do in real life, but this is a comic book about a guy who got bit by a radioactive spider and can lift trucks as a result, so whatever. So there isn’t any sexual coercion component to this fight. Daken doesn’t even flirt or use innuendo during it, like he does in matches with, for example, Gambit and Ben Grimm. This is purely a professional battle on his part. Peter also, I should note, wipes the floor with him as soon as he figures out how to get through the fight without relying on his vision. I’m sure if Daken had won he would have handed him off to Norman for the gold star sticker and extra Dark Avengers points, but he doesn’t personally get that opportunity. And if we’re going to talk sexual innuendo, it’s actually Peter-disguised-as-Mac-Gargan who casts aspersions on Daken, telling Norman that they fought because Daken was “after” Harry and “pulled him from his bed.” Peter ends up being tortured after Bullseye shoots him through the legs – and after Norman shoots him in the head. (He had a special mask made by Reed so it wasn’t that big a deal, sans the torture.) Daken is out cold on the ground at this point.

(Amazing Spider-Man #597)

But even without that Dark Reign reread, the fact that these two events happen very close together actually works in the favor of providing Johnny with an explanation he could accept over Daken fighting Spider-Man. Johnny knows Daken’s on the Dark Avengers. Daken specifically comes to the Fantastic Four in Dark Wolverine #75-77 seeking a secret alliance with them against Norman Osborn – one that ends with the Fantastic Four feeling in debt to Daken. If this fight between Peter and Daken came to Johnny’s attention, it’s easy enough for Daken to explain away that he was working to keep Norman from suspecting he might be anything but a good little Dark Avenger. Also, like I said – there’s no sexual manipulation in the Daken vs Peter fight. It’s a regular ol’ superpowered battle. There is, however, a sexual manipulation note used against Ben when Daken taunts him into beating him into the ground in Dark Wolverine #76, which was a move engineered to gain the sympathy of the Four towards Daken, and one that worked really well on Johnny.

(Dark Wolverine #76) Daken’s a good chess player, is the thing surrounding his interactions with the Fantastic Four. I think there’s quite a bit about this setup that, if Johnny knew, would have messed him up incredibly – after all, the entire interaction starts when Daken shoots Johnny in the leg with an arrow and then frames someone else for the deed. (Johnny never finds out it was Daken, btw.) Then there’s the faked kidnapping attempt on Franklin in Daken #4, where Daken appears to “save” Franklin from an intruder – but really orchestrated the entire attack himself. Finally, there’s the incident Johnny very much does know about because he was there for it at the end of Daken’s solo in Daken #22-23, when Daken drugs Reed and attempts to kill him by throwing him off a building. That incident alone I think would be enough for Johnny to look back on the relationship with some regrets. 

Marjorie Liu confirmed on twitter that Daken and Johnny had a sexual relationship, but mapping the timeline of that takes a little poking around with the canon. They almost definitely had no sexual contact during Dark Wolverine #75-77 – which takes place either concurrently with or after Peter and Daken’s fight – because there’s just no time to account for it within the book. Daken definitely engenders Johnny’s sympathies and some affection for him during this period, though, which leads me to place the period where the sexual contact took place as between Dark Wolverine #77 and Daken #1, during which Daken has a bit of a charged phone call with Johnny that suggests a certain closeness. Shortly after this, Daken fakes his death, which Johnny takes very hard. They most likely had a last sexual encounter in Dark Wolverine #4, based on this staging:

Daken doing up his belt, Johnny on the bed with his legs spread – it doesn’t take a genius to read this scene as something of an aftermath. After this, Daken and Johnny don’t see each other until Daken #21. Note that Johnny’s stint in the Negative Zone was between these two things. 

I mean, if Daken had used his pheromone powers on Peter to mess with him in a sexual manner, and Johnny found out about it after he’d slept with Daken, I do think it would upset him incredibly, but that’s not what happened in the Daken vs Peter American Son fight, and the laundry list of Things Johnny Would Be Upset About If He Knew Daken Did That is so long that I can’t see what is a fairly straightforward superhero vs villain fight (that Peter won) ending up particularly high on the list. On the other hand, I do think Peter would have a total fit if/when he found out Johnny had slept with Daken, but that it would be more on the “sleeping with a dude Peter’s fought/Wolverine’s 70yo son” side of things at least initially. 

[winterverses]

Walking Wounded - Intergalactic

Sugar overload for Christmas... I meant to have it done on Thursday but it needed a bit more polish. Anyway, here’s my take on how the Beastie Boys exist in the same world as Star Trek. It takes place sometime after Chapter 62, but I never nailed it down any further than that. Enjoy!

Anne shifted to sit against the headboard and tucked her feet under her, smiling a little as she watched Jim sift through music on one of the powerwalls. They were still ‘arguing’ about late 20th century/early 21st century pop music-- a topic that had grown to be contentious and usually ended in pretend make-up sex. Anne’s taste ran to either classical rock, obscure rockabilly, punk, loud angry music in general or bubblegum-sweet ridiculous bullshit that was made specifically to appeal to the masses. Jim was more than all right with the first few, but he hated the last with a fiery passion because it got stuck in his head, and he’d be wandering the apartment singing the words to ‘Whenever, Wherever’ under his breath until Anne called him on it, at which point he’d get cranky and put on some classical rock like Jimi Hendrix’s cover of All Along the Watchtower.

“Look, Bad Romance is a masterfully crafted pop song. Even you have to admit that,” Anne said, pretty specifically to piss him off. She was right and he knew it, but she’d caught him humming the tune a few hours ago and he was still mad about it.

Jim snorted. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, flipping through the conveniently placed powerwall to find something he wanted to listen to. “Forget it. It’s mass-produced crap that’s meant to specifically to be catchy--”

“But that’s what makes it so great,” Anne said. “Come on, it's drenched in Hitchcock references, even the chord progression in the chorus is a Hitchcock reference, and it still topped charts everywhere. It’s way more cerebral than you think. And it’s catchy, she took some risks with it--”

“It’s overproduced, it’s-- we’re not having this discussion again. You want masterfully crafted? Here.” He flipped a song on. “God, I haven’t heard this one in ages. Everyone always plays Sabotage.”

The robotic voice started up, then the bass hit with a nice little rumble. This apartment had a gorgeous audio setup. “Oh, beautiful. And yes, this one’s about as close to perfection as you can get, especially with all those rough edges.” Anne grinned. “But sometimes you just want something really slick.”

Jim looked over his shoulder at her, raising an eyebrow, a little grin playing at the corners of his mouth. “Anne Madeline Hardesty, I think you know I get all the slick I can handle with you around.”

“Ooh, very nice,” Anne laughed. He wasn’t serious. Neither was she. Yet. They’d just gotten out of the shower, and it was probably time for food before they let themselves get carried away again. “That was a really excellent turnaround, James Tiberius Kirk. Almost as good as watching you turn around.”

He laughed, flipping the covers back and getting into bed beside her, leaning against the headboard. “Okay, it makes sense for me to like asses, but you’ve got no excuse. What’s up with that?”

Anne felt her need for food starting to wane while her other needs waxed. “Well, let’s put it this way, James Tiberius: Old West riders had spurs; I've got nails instead.”

The look in his eye suddenly got more serious, his gaze flicking over her loose hair and bared breasts with growing want. “Hmm. That’s a comparison worth testing, I think. How about it? Wanna go for a ride?” He grinned widely and waggled his eyebrows, extremely pleased with his terrible innuendo.

“I can’t believe you get me to fuck you with shitty lines like that,” Anne snickered.

“Works every time. So far, anyway. I guess you just like shitty pickup lines,” Jim laughed, draping an arm over her shoulders and pulling her close.

“I swear, I’m going to write a tell-all book and include every single one of those lines in it, and you’ll never get laid again,” Anne said, her body already starting to react, her nipples tightening into little pink points. She rested her head on his chest, her hand sliding down his thigh, not quite touching the inside of it.

“Great idea. If you list all your favorite songs in it, you can call it ‘I Have Bad Taste in Everything, Including Men.’”

Anne sighed heavily. “Jim…” There was no way to answer that, so Anne just reached up, grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him into a kiss. The downturn into sexual territory was sharp and sudden, with her fingernails already digging in lightly and his free hand seizing one of her breasts, plucking gently at the nipple.

It would have gone on, too, and probably would have been quite satisfying if Anne hadn’t caught one of the last lines of the song and froze. She couldn’t be right.

Jim was immediately pulling away. “You okay?” he asked, worried, his hand having moved to her shoulder.

“Yeah, I’m all right,” Anne said, glancing around for a padd within reach. There were none.

“Music pause,” Jim said, correctly interpreting why she wanted the padd. “What’s up, gorgeous? Something wrong?”

“I don’t know,” Anne said. “Music repeat last fifteen seconds. Twenty seconds.” As the music started, “Jim, listen to this and just tell me I’m not insane, okay?”

He listened with her, concerned, and heard the line. She knew he did, because his eyebrows rose. “Huh. That’s a hell of a coincidence.”

“That’s crazy. That’s not even coincidence anymore. Here, grab me a padd and I’ll see if I can find out what that’s all about. Come on now-- Spock pinching necks? That’s too weird to be coincidence.” Anne took the padd he offered her and started to tap away, pulling up all the associations she could from that song. Fortunately, the song had been thoroughly analyzed… but what Anne found was even more unsettling. “It says here that Spock was a sort of folklore figure who showed up in San Francisco in the 1980’s. Apparently he claimed he could telepathically talk to whales, and the neck pinch comes from an incident where he shut down a punk kid on a bus who was listening to his music too loud and bothering everyone. He pinched the punk’s neck, and the kid passed out.” Anne looked over at Jim. “It says here he had a companion that he called Admiral Kirk.”

Jim paused at that, frowning, his entire body still. “Well, it could still be a coincidence,” he started.

“Bullshit,” Anne said immediately. She didn’t like to talk about his work much, but… “Jim, I get that there are things you can’t talk about, but can you at least tell me whether you know anything about this?”

Jim was silent for a while, frowning down at the padd in her hands. “Well… not really. Maybe. It’s--”

“It’s a long story?” Anne asked. On impulse, she told the padd to cross-reference all the Beastie Boys lyrics with terms that would only be found in post-warp literature. “Jim.” She showed him the padd. “Klingons. Look, this can’t be a coincidence. I can’t write this off.” She paused. “You know I won’t tell anyone… but I need this explained. How are these things showing up in lyrics by one of your favorite bands?”

Shaking his head slowly, Jim glanced up at her, then back down at the padd. “That’s the thing. I can’t explain it.” He hesitated, looking back at her, searching her face, then seemed to make a decision. “But I can guess.”

“I’m listening,” Anne said quietly.

It took him a moment to organize his thoughts. “I can’t go into too much detail on this, but we’ve had proof that time isn’t… isn’t as solid as we think it is. There are at least two timelines that we’re certain exist side-by-side. Maybe more.”

“How do you know this?” Anne asked, fascinated. “What was the proof? Can you tell me?”

Jim sighed, settling her against him and leaning back on the pillows. “The proof was Spock, actually. Another Spock. He’s-- he died shortly before the Altamid incident. Old age. He was a hundred and sixty two years old.”

Anne couldn’t muster up an intelligent reply. “What the fuck,” she breathed. “And you’re sure? Genetics testing--”

“Absolutely sure. Hell, I mind melded with him, before Spock and I were even friends. He was Spock. No doubt about it.” Jim looked down at her. “You know you can’t tell anyone, right? Some of this is classified. If anyone ever finds out you know… well, it wouldn’t be pretty.”

Meeting his eyes squarely, Anne said, “If there’s one thing I know, Jim Kirk, it’s how to keep a secret.”

He knew that. Even if he didn’t know the reasons she said it-- especially because he didn’t know the reasons she said it. He just nodded and continued. “All right. Well, what happened was pretty complicated, but what it boils down to is that there was a split in the timeline the day I was born. In the other timeline, my dad never died because the Narada never came back in time to kill him. And I can’t really get into all of the factors here, but because of some weird time shit, all of reality changed. Some changes were big. Some of them weren’t. But the upshot, at least in how it applies to the song, is that either the other Kirk and Spock did it, or it was me and I haven’t done it yet.” He laughed, looking pensive, shaking his head. “I told you my life gets really weird sometimes.”

“Huh.” It sort of changed her perspective on him. “So… that other you, he knows about you?”

“I don’t know. Never met him. I don’t think he does, because I don’t think the other Spock ever managed to go back. I get the impression that… that once Vulcan was destroyed, he felt like he was needed here.” Jim gave her a humorless grin. “Vulcan was never destroyed in the other timeline.”

That gave Anne pause. A universe where Vulcan still existed, where Jim had grown up with a father who cared about him… “Sounds like a better place,” she said wistfully. “Maybe I wouldn’t have been-- wasn’t-- taken in that timeline.” She laughed, her voice soft and a bit rough. “Or maybe I didn’t even exist. Who knows?”

“I don’t know. I got the impression that the other me didn’t have many attachments aside from his crew,” Jim said, his voice almost apologetic.

“Maybe we never met,” Anne said, turning the possibility over in her mind.

Frowning, Jim shook his head. “Maybe we just met under better circumstances.”

Anne laughed. “Oh, then we definitely wouldn’t have ended up like this. That would have been a wham bam thank you ma’am situation on both our parts, assuming the broad strokes of personality are the same.”

Jim’s frown only deepened. “No, I don’t think so. I mean, it’d be pretty in character for that guy to have a fling, but I don’t think he’d just fuck off after a couple days or whatever. That would be pretty stupid.”

“Oh come on. Nothing’s set in stone. If you and I didn’t have a reason not to fuck, we’d have gotten it out of our systems and then gotten scared and run off,” Anne teased, wondering why he looked so balky.

“That’s dumb,” Jim said, his frown turning into an actual scowl. “I guess it’s a possibility, but he’d have to be kind of a coward--”

“James Tiberius Kirk,” Anne said slowly, her eyes widening, and had to stop herself from laughing again. “You’re mad at him.”

He immediately started to backpedal. “What? No, I’m just-- well, come on, if he couldn’t figure out--”

“Yes you are,” Anne marveled. “You’re mad at him because he might not have stuck around to do--” she flapped a hand around at the bedroom and its luxurious appointments, “--all this.” They both knew she didn’t really mean the bedroom.

“I’m not mad at him--” Jim started, his frown reappearing, then his shoulders sank and he sighed. “Okay, maybe a little. But he would have to be really stupid to have the possibility of something like this and just let it go without ever… I mean, even with all your rotten music it’s still pretty damn great.”

Anne watched him without speaking for a few moments, just… just appreciating him, blue eyes, messy hair and all. If he wasn’t himself, she wouldn’t have fallen so hard for him, and that other Kirk definitely wasn’t her Jim. “This makes me right again, you know,” she said, a little irony in her smile. “Reality had to bend for you to exist, mon étoile.”

He just laughed once or twice, looking away, like he wasn’t really sure how to react to that. “Given all the shit that’s happened, I can’t exactly be glad that we’re in this timeline here.”

“I can, and I will,” Anne said lightly. She knew he was feeling a little guilty, as if his happiness in this moment was the only thing on the other side of the scales from all the havoc the Narada had wreaked. “If some other me exists in that timeline, she’s enjoying what she has, whatever that is. Why should she be the only one? Why shouldn’t I enjoy what I have?”

“What you have, huh?” he asked, looking skeptically at her, trying to suppress the tiny smile that wanted to touch the corners of his mouth. He wanted to be convinced that it was all right not to be guilty over it. Good, because it was. No one needed him to self-flagellate. “And what’s that?”

Inspiration struck, and Anne deliberately looked down, then up at him from under her lowered lashes. “Someone awful enough to love my shitty music and my shitty pickup lines.”

Bemusement replaced his skepticism, and that smile made a tentative appearance, uncertain of its welcome. “Is that so?” he asked, not really sure what she was driving at; she hadn’t been the one with the shitty lines.

“Jim Kirk…” Set ‘em up, and knock ‘em down. Anne smiled invitingly at him. “...come and rock the sure shot.”

He knew the lyric immediately, and that grin widened, became sunny and uncomplicated and boyish in the wake of her easy delivery. His arm slid back around her, yanking her into his lap, his other hand tipping up her jaw. As if she needed the cue. Anne was already curling up against him, wanting to feel that smile on her lips, glad she’d driven away that guilty look. After some time and a few kisses, once their breathing had started to roughen and pulses were getting quick, Jim laughed and said, “She’s the cheese, and I’m the macaroni.”

“No fair, you had time to think about it,” Anne pretended to protest. “Mine was really good, I did that really well--” Both laughter and another kiss cut her off, and like music and pickup lines, it didn’t matter whose were whose. Either way worked just fine for both of them.

[pumpkinscreams]

TAG LIST: @richiescigarettes @mpsnudesHomecoming - Chapter 4

MY ONLY WARNING IS THERE’S A MAKE OUT SESH WHOOPS ALSO I AM N LOVE WITH THIS CHAPTER SO I HOPE U ENJOYYYY

“Why do we need to do this Rich?” Beverly asks in a shallow moan.

“So I can look like a king for the people Bevvy Bee, kiss a couple babies and we’re on our way.”

The two were going to the gym, helping the homecoming committee make a huge ass poster that they’re gonna plaster on the wall for homecoming. The dances theme was Grease is the World, so Richie could only assume it was gonna just be a basic dance with a couple of music notes and records plastered on the walls. But when the two enter the half decorated high school gym, their jaws fall to the white tiled floor. The newly installed stage was lined with metallic red and blue tassels, shining in the fluorescent lights. The walls were almost completely covered in blue, red, and yellow streamers, cartooney music notes and records (Even though Richie lazily predicted that, they were in a neat and perfect pattern, way better looking then he had imagined)

The punch tables and such would be setup on friday, the day of, for now there are two lame tables filled with art supplies to be the backdrop of the wooden stage. But for now, the enormous poster was spread across the gym floor. Homecoming committee members taking different portions and painting the son of a bitch. And of course, Eddie Kaspbrak, sitting and painting in his damn cheerleader garb. He’s wearing different shorts then he was yesterday, and none of the glitter. The sweater was slightly cropped but the sleeves were flowing off of him. To end with some cute red shorts, cotton socks and sky blue converse. He looked so comfortable, and absolutely adorable. He just wished that Eddie knew he was the guy on the football field. He sighed and entered with Beverly. Eddie was painting very messily, clearly trying to cover more ground than have attention to detail. Bill, sitting beside him was the exact opposite. Using a teeny brush to fill in a milkshake. Richie smiled at Eddie’s sloppy painting style, he was such a prim and proper guy, but in some quirky ways, he was amazingly messy. Richie concealed his blush by looking down, and tying his hair in two high pigtails, ready to paint, when his complexion dulled, he looked back at Beverly and gave a toothy smile.

“You’re such a fucking dork” Bev booped his nose and smiled.

“Beverly! Come here!” Eddie called out to her, Bill looking up at Bev with an awkward smile, and returned to the highlights of his milkshake.

Beverly and Bill never really cleared out their relationship, Bill was dating Stan, and Bev was pretty much head over heels with Ben. It was all just awkward. Beverly subtly shook her head and sat with Richie on the middle end of the poster and got at it.

-----

Why was Richie staring at me?

Eddie was trying his hardest to not look back at the punk asshole. He saw in the corner of his eye that Richie had tied his hair in pigtails and he rolled his eyes.

He thinks he’s just sooooo cool!

There was something about that boy that really grinded Eddie’s gears, he couldn’t just place his finger on it. He noticed Beverly with him and a feeling of guilt loomed over him, he’s just completely disregarded Beverly ever since June. And now she had to hang out with the guy with a trash mouth.

“Beverly! Come here!” He waved over to her, she didn’t say anything, she just shyly smiled and sat with Richie just a few feat away from him and Bill.

The rage in him filled, he didn’t blame Bev by any means, it was that damn Richie.

Stealing his friends

And stealing his crown.

Not today.

Not, in those dumb ass pigtails.

(His hair fell into such perfect little curly tails on the back of his head, his eyeliner still on, but smudged, not messy, but kinda sexy-)

Eddie shook his head and continued to paint his bolds strokes of red on the poster paper.

------

“Richie you keep painting outside the lines!” Bev chuckled at the pigtail wearing boy.

Richie was usually super precise with things like this, If the jukebox wasn’t perfect, he wasn’t going home. But he had other things on his mind, he needed to stop trying to look at Eddie, he just couldn’t help it, the way he bit his lip when he was concentrating on filling in the lines, how his curls were neat, but a few grazed over his long lashes.

“Sorry just thinking about-” He saw Eddie, looking at him, he swallowed deeply, and put on a long grin.

“Eddie’s mom.” Bev and Bill laughed, while Eddie’s face went bright red in anger.

“Shut up Richie!” Eddie yelled out, the homecoming committee laughing along to the two’s antics.

“She was wild Eddie! I’m surprised that you didn’t hear us!”

“Richie!” Eddie exclaimed

“Oh Richie! OOOOOhhhhhh Richie!!!!!” Richie let out a high pitched moan, the whole room was laughing out, Bev on the floor, holding her stomach, Richie sat on his knees, as Eddie stood up.

“Fuck you!” Eddie, by accident (or not) kicked a can of red paint over and it covered Richies half done jukebox, and his knees in a thick red coating.

Richie slowly looked up at Eddie, who was ready to apologize right away, when Richies smile turned into a short smirk as he dipped his hand in the crimson. He quickly flicked his fingers at Eddie’s face, getting a few splatters on the boy, causing him to flinch and have his eyebrows furrow, then arch. The room was silent. Eddie dipped both of his hands into the paint and ran up to Richie and smeared his hands over his face, Richie got up and started running to another part of the poster.

“Ah you fuck!” He laughed as he grabbed some blue and ran after Eddie, Eddie ran away, attempting to get the yellow but got a fat wad of blue paint on his back. Everyone in the room continued to laugh (especially Bev) and yell “FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!!!”  as the two had a total paint war on the completely fucked poster.

“Richard and Edward! Come with me!” A very balding teacher yelled from the doorway.

“He started it!” The two paint covered boys yell at the same time, pointing to each other.

-------

“You’re such an asshole Richie.” Eddie states. The two red and blue boys sit in the desk chairs, both thinking they could be doing much better things in that moment, and now we’re stuck with each other. Richie was getting more and more pissed, mostly cause he’s missing a smoke break and was a tad irritated. Eddie’s constant blabbering about how he could’ve been doing homework too was not helping. And, why would he just assume Richie had no homework either? Richie’s gotten honours three years in a row, and he hates when people assume just cause he makes innuendoes he’s an idiot.

“Eddie, I know you’re in love with me, but could ya shut the fuck up?” Eddie rolled his eyes and stood up, preparing for another fight.

“It’s all your fault! You splashed that paint over me!”

Richie, at this point, was ready to actually fight. He stood up too.

“You ruined the painting! And got that shit all over my knees!”

“And yooooou got paint all over my favourite sweater!” Eddie places his fingers onto Richie’s chest. Richie walked away from the boy and to the window, seeing a couple of kids smoking and feeling extremely envious. Eddie followed behind him to get a few more words in.

“Eddi-”

“And I can’t even clean this! The teacher won’t let me wash it off! It’s gonna be ruined! Fuck yo-”

Eddie was interrupted by Richie angrily taking off his own sweater (with no shirt underneath) and whipping it at Eddie. He frustratingly sat back at his chair and put his head on the desk, his arms wrapping around his head.

Eddie quietly takes his sweater off and puts Richie’s black sweater with a Rose on the right breast. Eddie was surprised that it didn’t smell like cigarettes, it smelt like bubblegum. It was basically covering his shorts but he didn’t mind. He liked it.

Eddie shut up and slowly walked over to the boy, and sat in the chair beside him. He clearly had done enough. He awkwardly whispers to the boy.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

Eddie tries to lighten the mood, and break the ice, he smiles and tucks Richie’s hair behind his ear. Richie is frozen.

“If my hair got that long, my mom would-”

Eddie is interrupted yet again, by the low moan of Richie Tozier.

------

Shit, fuck, fuck fuck fuuuuuckkkkk

Why did Eddie have to do that?

“What was that?” Eddie flinched as he pulled away.

“Nothing.”

“Come on Richie!”

“It was nothing!” Richie turns his head away from Eddie, attempting to conceal all the blush rushing to his face...and somewhere else.

Richie may be pretty shameless, but his hair kink was something he wasn’t gonna admit.

“Richie, seriously, what was that? You can tell me.” Eddie put his hand on Richie’s bare shoulder, Eddie shivered slightly, but hoped Richie didn’t notice.

He did.

He let out a deep sigh and looked up at Eddie, all those feelings came flowing back to him when he saw Eddie’s sparkling eyes.

“I just...reaaaly like when people play with my hair.”

He let out a crooked smile and looked down. Attempted to look at the floor but stopped at Eddie’s shorts.

So short.

“Are you saying, it turns you on?” Eddie half concealed his laugh.

Richie’s bright pink face was answer enough for the kid.

Eddie quietly looks at Richie for a couple moments, inspecting his soft hair and defined cheekbones.

“So, what else turns you on?”

Richie’s eyes dart to Eddie and crooks his neck. His pink face was now a bright red.

He let out a small chuckle, seeing if Eddie was actually serious,

And he was.

“Eddie drop it.”

He shot his eyes back at the floor, trying not to look at Eddie’s feet, which would lead to his legs, and to those tiny ass shorts…

But those legs sat up, and draped over Richies desk, Eddie sitting on it.

His shorts rode up more as he adjusted himself on the table.

Richie bit most of his lower lip to get out of the sheer compulsion, he was gonna kill him if he kept this up.

Eddie “innocently” starts nibbling on the sleeve of Richie’s sweatshirt, looking down at the blushing punk.

“Drop what?” Eddie rhetorically asks.

Richie looks up at Eddie’s cherry lip gloss and furrowed brows, the kid was damn torturing him, he hummed when Eddie continued to play with his hair. Richie’s hand compulsively grabbed the hem of Eddie’s (well, Richie’s) sweater and balled up into fists. He bit his lip so hard he was talking through his teeth.

“Eddie, you need to stop this shit right now.”

Eddie placed his cold hand on Richie’s freezing chest and looked devilishly in his eyes.

“Make me.”

Eddie had Richie wrapped around his finger and Richie couldn’t take it anymore. He grabbed Eddie’s back and slid him onto his lap. Eddie giggled at the action and was quickly shut up with Richie’s lips connecting to his own, Richie had his hands firmly pressed on Eddie’s back, concaving to his waist, pushing Eddie into him, Eddie had one hand in Richie’s hair and the other snaked around his warm neck. The two forcing each other into it, being rough, this wasn’t for love, as far as the other knew, they hated each other’s guts, and this was just between them.

If only Eddie remembered.

Richie licked Eddie’s bottom lip, to invite him in and Eddie automatically let him in, causing him to tug on Richie’s hair, Richie let out a low moan and buckled his hips, Eddie’s breath hitched at the quick grinding motion. He slowly let go of Richie’s hair and separated their lips, a thin string of saliva connecting them.

Richie groaned, not wanting to finish yet, and lifted his lips up to the boy. Eddie put his finger on Richie’s lips and smiled.

“I’ll be right back” Eddie’s voice sounded much more sultry, kind of a mess, speaking of a mess, for the first time since Richie’s seen him, his hair was in shambles, his face was blushed a deep pink, and his lips were stripped of gloss, now shared between the two. He swiftly got up, heading to the door, re-adjusting his shorts and scampered off into the halls. Richie sighed a shallow sigh and threw his head back.

What the actual fuck.

This is fucking ridiculous! How could he let this happen! He’s so fucking annoying!

But he couldn’t help but smile.

Now a dear question rang to Richie,

Should he strip?

I mean, what was Eddie going to go get?

Did he have the idea of just going at it in their english class?

He was down, but a bit sudden.

He stood up and looked at himself through the reflection of the window. His hair was a fucking disaster, his cateye was a greasy mess, and his bare chest was blushing red. He looked down and started taking off his jeans to reveal some triangle patterned boxers. Kicking his pants to the side. He looked back up at his own reflection to see a new smiling face appear at him through the window.

Eddie.

Richie ran to the window at a loss.

Eddie pulled up two middle fingers and ran across the field to freedom.

Richie cracked open the window and yelled out.

“Your mom will be hearing about this Eds!”

“Don’t call me Eds! Have a good detention, trashmouth!”

TAG LIST:

@richiescigarettes @mpsnudes

[booksareawayoflife]

City of Ashes by Cassandra Clare

‘Haunted by her past, Clary is dragged deeper into New York City’s terrifying underworld of demons and Shadowhunters - but can she control her feelings for a boy who can never be hers?’

 Book Review: no spoilers

This part of the review will have no spoilers. Since reading this book years ago, I had forgotten what happened, so it was like reading it for the first time for me. I do think that this book was a good set up for what is going to happen in the next book, but in no way does it suffer from second book syndrome. It was a solid book on it’s own, which I am so happy to say. I want this series to be on my favourites of all time, and so far it has the capability if being on it.

You really see the development of the characters in this book. You see that their relationships have grown, and there’s banter between characters. It’s really nice to read their growing relationships, as our love for them grows too. In terms of plot, it was both surprising, and predictable. The set up was predictable, but the events leading up to the set up was unexpected. Basically, until you saw the set up, you have no idea what was going to happen next. Humour is still a fundamental part of the book, which I absolutely loved. It wasn’t as funny as City of Bones, but I still love the fact that these books have the capability to make me chuckle. City of Ashes is more serious than City of Bones, so I hope that the next book still has funny moments too, and plenty of innuendos.

Overall, I give this book 9/10 or 4.5/5. It was a good book. Definitely better than average, because I enjoyed every minute I was reading this book. I just enjoyed City of Bones more, so that is currently the standard of which a TMI book has to beat. I’m looking forward to reading City of Glass, because I remember liking that book the best.

 SPOILERS:

From here on out, I’ll be talking more in depth on the specifics of the book. If you haven’t read this series, or this book, I would recommend not reading any further.

Plot/writing - I do think the plot of this book was better than City of Bones, in general, but I enjoyed City of Bones more because it was more light-hearted, and less serious. I was surprised to find out that it had only been a week since Magnus’s party in City of Bones. It feels a lot longer than that. I wasn’t expecting Simon to turn into a vampire when he did, so it was a surprise, but I do think that the execution of it did fall flat. I wish that we saw more of a conflicted Clary when it came to deciding if Simon should be resurrected, and a more heartbroken Clary over the fact that Simon was dead. For a person who just found out that her best friend in the world has died, she was pretty rational. I wanted her to be devastated, and go a bit crazy, but she was collected enough to decide to allow Simon to turn. I don’t think that I would have been able to react as well as she did, under that situation. But, I did almost try in that section. So it was good writing. I really liked the beginning of this book. I liked how it started in mid-conversation, it makes the reader feel a part of it. And, the first thing you see is the banter between the Shadowhunters, and I love it. Their friendships/relationships is what I live for. I think that Cassandra Clare captures what it means to be a teenager perfectly. Talking about teenagers, I found it hilarious when the 3 Shadowhunters (Alec, Clary, Isabelle) left the City of Bones, and encountered the adult Shadowhunters because they did what the adults were about to do. In regards to the ending, I wish that we saw Alec/Magnus/Isabelle after the battle because I feel like Cassandra Clare just forgot about them, and focused too much on Clary.

Clary - I still like book Clary. I did think that she was an idiot when she drank the Faerie drink. You saw that setup from a mile off. The kiss with Jace also grossed me out, because they still think that they are related. One of my favourite facts that I learnt about Clary from this book, is that when she is ill, she watches CSI reruns. We’re the same. I think Clary should start to get training to be a Shadowhunter. I am getting tired of the others not wanting her to be on missions just because she is not trained. So train her then! She is a Shadowhunter!

Jace - I liked Jace more in this book because he is vulnerable. You see a different side to him, than the one that he tries to portray. I love the fact that you see how much he cares about Clary, and how much he worries about her. I was a bit grossed out when he suggested being more than just siblings (even though that I know that they aren’t related. It’s just creepy knowing that they think that they are related). I do think that if Jace wasn’t so prickly, people would have believed him when he said that he wasn’t working for Valentine. But, I can understand why Jace would be so prickly, because he felt like his support network was just crumbling, so he is going to lash out.

Simon - I still liked Simon by the end of this book, which is a plus. I disliked him a bit in the beginning (when he was still a mundane), because he basically kissed Clary without warning. But I can’t be mad at him, because Clary would have stopped him if she wanted him to stop... and it lead to them making out in her bedroom. I just think you should give a girl a bit of a heads up if you want to kiss them, like make sure they’re expecting it. I also didn’t like it when Simon called Clary his girlfriend in front of everyone, before properly discussing it in private with her. But I guessed it worked out for him in the short-term. I ship Climon more in the TV show, because Simon seems more like a genuine sweetheart, and the perfect boyfriend. Book Simon is a little more rough around the edges. I did like Simon’s flirts though. They were good. Any man can use that on me anytime. I do love their friendship. I want a friendship as close as Clary, and Simon’s. I also liked how he retained his humour after his rebirth. Vampire Simon, and mundane Simon are pretty much the same person. But I think Simon is better as a Vampire, because he is capable of helping the others. I love the reveal of him being a daylighter. It was just so dramatic. I did feel for him a lot, when he decided to break up with Clary. They weren’t really going out in the first place, but he put her overall happiness over his own. He wanted her completely, or not at all, and I can respect that.

Alec - I’m liking Alec more in this book. I don’t like him nowhere near as much as TV show Alec, but that’s because he is more developed in the TV show, then he is in the book right now. I loved the hints that Alec was seeing Magnus, like Jace noticing Alec had a love bite. I also love the bromance between Alec, and Jace. You see that they really care for each other. But I didn’t like it when Alec was hesitant to reveal that he was in a relationship with Magnus, because he’s still in love with Jace. I don’t think Alec is still in love with Jace, but the fact that Clary said it... he probably is. I just feel that single line undermines Malec’s relationship from OTP to a rebound. I did love the suggestion that he messaged Magnus to come to the entrance of the City of Bones, and Magnus came! Really quickly too. He must have used a portal just to save the day for Alec. I also found it cute, that Magnus may have given Alec the key to his apartment. I wonder what they have been doing ;) I love the few Malec scenes we got in this book... BUT I NEED MORE. I want more Malec scenes in the next books. I also want Alec’s possible feelings for Jace to be resolved in a conversation with him. Alec, and the fearless rune is my favourite scene in this book. I wish that was in the TV show so badly.

Isabelle - Isabelle probably has the least character development in the series so far. Apart from being a female rival to Clary, and knowing that she has had relations with Meliorn -  she basically did nothing in this book. She did accompany the others on some outings, but I felt like her character either blended into the background, or wasn’t present during the important scenes. I am hoping for more development in the later books, because right now I don’t really like Isabelle.

Magnus - I love Magnus. I love the people behind the TV show too, because they actually used lines that Magnus said in the TV show! I respect the writers a lot more now, and I have a lot of faith regarding future Malec scenes. I did like Magnus getting a bit jealous of Jace, but I do want more emotions from Alec regarding Magnus. I also love the Madonna reference Magnus made, and it was so cute when Alec didn’t know who she was. I found it adorable that Magnus enchanted the contract with the clave to allow Alec to take Jace’s place, just so he can spend more time with Alec. When Magnus was like, “Why do you keep calling me? They’re cheaper warlocks to call.” I just raised my eyebrows like... stop tryna act cool. You know why you’re helping out. You’re doing it for Alec. When Jace went to Taki’s with Clary, I love how the werewolves were debating who would win in a fight Magnus or Albus Dumbledore from Harry Potter. I would vote Magnus, because he is three centuries older than Dumbledore, and he can use magic without a wand. He’s still my favourite character.

Luke - I love how Luke basically became everybody’s father. I want to know a Luke now. I just love how supportive he is of everyone, because he knows their struggles. I liked how we saw more of him in this book, and I hope that trend continues.

Maia - I liked the background we got to Maia, before we were properly introduced to her. So far, I like her more in the books, than I do in the TV show. But, I just think it’s because book Maia hasn’t tried to kill Jace, like TV show Maia has. Jace isn’t my favourite character, but I don’t want him to die. I do think that the first scene that she has with Simon was unremarkable, but you can see that it is a setup for at least a friendship. I didn’t like her when she tried to kill Simon, but I saw that coming from a mile off, so I can’t really blame her. I liked the fact that she did try to make amends after she tried to kill him.

Valentine - Valentine does seem to be getting more unstable as the books go on. I do prefer the TV show making him an evil mastermind. In the books, Valentine just seems to be going crazy, with nothing keeping him in check. I hope he becomes a more ruthless bad guy in the next book.

Raphael - Raphael is one of my favourite characters in the TV show. I love the actor that plays him. Raphael is basically an anti-hero. He doesn’t want to be a hero, but he is. I loved seeing Raphael again, and I hope that we get to see more of him.

Maryse - I’m hardly surprised that I disliked Maryse from her introduction. We haven’t seen Maryse before the events in this book, so we haven’t seen her treat Jace like her son. So when she started to treat him with suspicion, and distrust, I disliked her instantly. Maryse has slightly grown on me in the TV show, but that’s more because we’ve seen her as a loving mother, and not just a bad one to Jace. She should have given him the benefit of the doubt, because she raised him. She would know if he was evil. I did like her more when she went to Jace to apologise, and convince him to stay at the Institute. That scene almost made me cry. I want some more Maryse, and Jace family scenes in the future.

Max - Max’s introduction was so cute. I hope to see more of him. I know what happens to him, because there was a bit of an uproar on how the TV Show decided to go with his character, so I am preventing myself from fully connecting with him.

Imogen Herondale - I didn’t like the Inquisitor, but I didn’t want her to die the way that she did. But I did think that it was foolish of her to try and have a conversation with Jace on a battlefield. I did feel for her though, when we found out what happened to her family. I do take solace in the fact that she knew that she had family in the world, before she died. I do wish that she got to know Jace better. I hope we get to see more of her in the TV show, because I want Jace to get to know his family better.

I literally can’t wait to start reading City of Glass. So I am going to do that now!

 Love Lou xx