#the longest time

[droids-in-disguise]

No Piano Man, no We Didn't Start the Fire, and no 'other' option, y'all have to choose.

[still-living-like-im-trying]

Bruh I completely forgot about this one for the Nimona/Big Hero 6 AU idea from a while back.

Decided to clean it up and post it anyways cuz why not.

It's based on a Dialogue Prompt for the AU I made on my other blog.

Description is roughly:

The Director dragging Ambrosius by his wrist: Good Gloreth! Sir Goldenloin; "next time I'll bite your head off", Really!?

The Director, opening a door to a corridor: I can't even begin to imagine where you learned such behaviour- !

Tadashi holding another knight down by his shirt as the man stared up at him fearfully: -and next time I'll bite your head off if I ever catch you speaking like that to a young recruit or anyone ever again, got it?

The Director: ....

The Director: Ah.

Here's a full version of the panel:

This one was taken when I forgot to finish the Director's hair 😂. Whoops.

[starrieslove]

ILL TAKE MY CHANCES, I FORGOT HOW NICE ROMANCE IS ‼️‼️‼️

[lovesongbracket]

Reminder: Vote based on the song, not the artist or specific recording! The tracks referenced are the original artist, aside from a few rare cases where a cover is the most widely known.

Lyrics, videos, info, and notable covers under the cut. (Spotify playlist available in pinned post)

The Longest Time

Written By: Billy Joel

Artist: Billy Joel

Released: 1983

"The Longest Time" is a doo-wop song by Billy Joel, released in 1984 as the fourth single from the 1983 album An Innocent Man. Following the theme of the album in paying tribute to Joel's musical influences, the song is presented in the style of Frankie Lymon and the Teenagers. It reached number 14 on the Billboard Hot 100 and number 1 on Billboard's Adult Contemporary chart. In the United Kingdom the song reached number 25 on the UK Singles Chart. The song features Joel on lead vocals, all backing vocals, and percussive sounds such as finger snaps and hand claps. The only other instruments in the song are a bass guitar and a snare drum being played with brushes. When the song is covered by vocal groups, the bass part is typically sung. Phil Ramone and Joel had intended to feature a vocal group, but Joel recorded each of the parts himself.

[Intro] Dum dum dum [Chorus] Whoa, oh, oh, oh (For the longest) For the longest time Whoa, oh, oh (For the longest) For the longest time [Verse 1] If you said goodbye to me tonight There would still be music left to write What else could I do? I'm so inspired by you That hasn't happened for the longest time [Verse 2] Once I thought my innocence was gone Now I know that happiness goes on That's where you found me When you put your arms around me I haven't been there for the longest time [Chorus] Whoa, oh, oh, oh (For the longest) For the longest time Whoa, oh, oh (For the longest) For the longest [Verse 3] I'm that voice you're hearing in the hall And the greatest miracle of all Is how I need you And how you needed me too That hasn't happened for the longest time [Bridge] Maybe this won't last very long But you feel so right and I could be wrong Maybe I've been hoping too hard But I've gone this far and it's more than I hoped for [Verse 4] Who knows how much further we'll go on? Maybe I'll be sorry when you're gone I'll take my chances I forgot how nice romance is I haven't been there for the longest time [Bridge] I had second thoughts at the start I said to myself, "Hold on to your heart" Now I know the woman that you are You're wonderful so far, and it's more than I hoped for [Verse 5] I don't care what consequence it brings I have been a fool for lesser things I want you so bad I think you ought to know that I intend to hold you for the longest time [Outro] Whoa, oh, oh, oh (For the longest) For the longest time Whoa, oh, oh (For the longest) For the longest time Whoa, oh, oh (For the longest) For the longest time Whoa, oh, oh (For the longest) For the longest time Whoa, oh, oh (For the longest) For the longest time…

Your Song

Written By: Elton John & Bernie Taupin

Artist: Elton John

Released: 1970

The song was composed and performed by Elton John but the lyrics were written by Bernie Taupin. It originally appeared in his self titled and second album. Elton John hadn’t come out of the closet yet, but Bernie Taupin knew, which is part of the reason why the lyrics avoid using gendered pronouns. In a 2013 interview with Rolling Stone, Elton John said: “What can I say, it’s a perfect song. It gets better every time I sing it. I remember writing it at my parents' apartment in North London, and Bernie giving me the lyrics, sitting down at the piano and looking at it and going, ‘Oh, my God, this is such a great lyric, I can’t fuck this one up.’ It came out in about 20 minutes, and when I was done, I called him in and we both knew. I was 22, and he was 19, and it gave us so much confidence. ‘Empty Sky’ was lovely, but it was very naive. We went on to do more esoteric stuff like ‘Take Me to the Pilot,’ of course, but musically, this was a big step forward. And the older I get, the more I sing these lyrics, and the more they resonate with me.”

[Verse 1] It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside I'm not one of those who can easily hide I don't have much money, but boy if I did I'd buy a big house where we both could live [Verse 2] If I was a sculptor, heh, but then again, no Or a man who makes potions in a traveling show I know it's not much, but it's the best I can do My gift is my song and this one's for you [Chorus] And you can tell everybody this is your song It may be quite simple but now that it's done I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind That I put down in words How wonderful life is while you're in the world [Verse 3] I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss Well, a few of the verses, well, they've got me quite cross But the sun's been quite kind while I wrote this song It's for people like you that keep it turned on [Verse 4] So excuse me forgetting, but these things I do You see, I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue Anyway, the thing is, what I really mean Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen [Chorus] And you can tell everybody this is your song It may be quite simple but now that it's done I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind That I put down in words How wonderful life is while you're in the world [Outro] I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind That I put down in words How wonderful life is while you're in the world

[vulpes-fennec]

The Fae Equality Initiative (Ch. 4) 🌊

Summary: Tarquin, High Lord of the Summer Court, has sent ripples of shock throughout Prythian with his plans to eliminate discrimination against Lesser Fae. When the Night Court is invited to send a delegation to Summer Court, Elain Archeron can’t wait to show everybody what she’s capable of on her first official Inner Circle assignment. Little does she know that Tarquin has also recruited Lucien Vanserra’s assistance…

Read: Ch 3 | AO3

💚Emerie's POV is here!💚

Knock, knock. Elain was lounging in the living room with her delegation when sharp raps on their main door sent her scurrying away. “It could be him,” she mouthed to Balthazar as she peeked out from behind her door. Lucien. My mate. 

But it was just Tarquin, High Lord of Summer, standing in the hall when Nikon opened the door. “Sorry to disturb, but may I please have a word with Elain?” Tarquin inquired, looking around. 

“I’m here,” Elain called out. She emerged from her room and gave the High Lord a quick bow. “How can I help?” 

Tarquin glanced at the rest of the Night Court delegation. “Ah, it might be a personal conversation. Is there a place more private—”

“We can make ourselves scarce,” Nikon quickly said, corralling Emerie, Balthazar, and Melanie into the males’ room like the responsible father he was. “Let’s give them some privacy.” Elain wanted to chuckle; no doubt Melanie would still relay every word to them even with the door closed. But she kept her expression solemn, for Tarquin was eyeing her with some trepidation. 

Am I in trouble already? Elain fretted. Maybe he’s realized that I’m an unqualified delegate, he’s sending me back to Velaris…

“Elain,” Tarquin began. “I must apologize. The last few weeks have been so chaotic it completely slipped my mind that you and Lucien Vanserra were attending the conference. It’s my understanding that the two of you are…not accepted mates.”

“So if you wish to return to Velaris, I assure you I will not take any offense. But if you wish to remain, please let me know what I can do to ensure a comfortable stay.” He paused, then added: “I have yet to speak with Lucien, so I cannot guarantee whether he chooses to stay or leave.” 

Elain blinked. Relief that Tarquin wasn’t kicking her out warred with her feeling miffed at his implications. Tarquin thinks I am so disturbed by Lucien’s presence that I’d rather GO HOME? She wondered incredulously. After everybody saw me with the Night Court delegation? After my family gave me such a dramatic send-off? That would be so humiliating…

She recovered and lowered her head graciously. “Thank you for your consideration, my lord. But I intend to stay for the conference.” Her voice wavered slightly, betraying her fear that Tarquin would overrule her decision and pressure her to turn back home. 

“Well, I’m glad you feel comfortable staying.” Tarquin replied. “I won’t pry about what happened between you two…but I hope you know that if anything changes, if you feel discomfort, I’m here to assist. And please, call me Tarquin.” 

Elain gave Tarquin a small smile. “That is very kind of you Tarquin, but I’m fine as I am. If there are any disputes between us, I’m sure Lucien and I can resolve them ourselves.” I’m a grown female. I’m twenty-seven years old. I should be able to handle my own problems, Elain resolved to herself. Even if the “problem” is a male I can barely interact with.

Tarquin nodded, looking relieved that he didn’t have to deal with two awkward mates. “Alright. Thank you for being so flexible.” He walked towards the door. “Have a good night; you should rest up for tomorrow.”

“Good night,” Elain called, shortly before the High Lord left. Her shoulders sagged as she flopped onto the couch, groaning. She barely had time to relax when Balthazar, Emerie, Melanie, and Nikon burst into the room. Elain scrambled to sit properly, smoothing her disheveled black dress.

“So what happened between you and Lucien Vanserra?” Melanie was the first to speak. Elain blinked, taken aback. The vampyr’s eyebrows raised inquisitively. Even Nikon and Balthazar were also doing a piss-poor job of hiding the curiosity on their faces. 

“Melanie—” Emerie began to chide defensively. The Illyrian Valkyrie was the only one in the room who had seen firsthand how awkward Elain and Lucien’s relationship was. 

“It’s alright, Emerie,” Elain assured. She sighed. “I might as well be open about this.” Her fellow delegates settled on the couches, intently waiting for her explanation. Elain wrung her hands nervously in her lap. 

“The mating bond between Lucien Vanserra and I snapped the moment I was Made Fae,” Elain began. “I was d-drawn to him. Even though I was e-engaged to a human man. Even though we barely interacted. Even when I was being swallowed up by my depression…Lucien…he made me feel alive.” 

“I invited him back to Velaris after the war. But he didn’t come.” Elain looked down, remembering how she waited and waited at her window for a glimpse of his ember-red hair, for his handsome face to appear. “When he finally showed up, I didn’t know what to do. I had been anticipating his return for so long but…I wasn’t prepared to face the mating bond when he finally came. It was such a foreign concept, and I was terrified of making the wrong decision. Like…w-what if I accepted the bond and regretted it later?” 

Balthazar tilted his head in thought. “Is it not similar to how humans treat marriage, though? Accepting a man’s hand is practically irreversible.” 

Elain nodded. “That’s valid. But…we are essentially immortal. And I barely knew Lucien. To me, it was utterly irrational to be drawn to him. Especially when he is Fae.” She grimaced. “I’d been raised to fear the Fae.” 

“You were very resistant to being Fae,” Emerie recalled.

“Yes. I missed being human, as silly as it is to say. And the mating bond is so Fae, that I tried to test its limits by pursuing another male.” She bitterly laughed. “Everyone, including Lucien, found out. I thought he would be angry, be sad. But he did nothing.” 

“I thought we could have had something, in the beginning. But I’m quite sure he feels nothing for me, despite the mating bond.” Elain recalled how the mating bond had thrummed with life when Lucien first arrived in Velaris. It had responded eagerly when he tugged on it. And now…the languished, slackened thread in her chest was so pitiful that Elain felt her eyes water with unwanted tears. I have nothing to cry about…I had nothing to lose with Lucien…I don’t even KNOW him, she scolded herself.

“There, there, don’t say that,” hushed Nikon gently. “The mating bond is strong within males. I’m sure he feels something for you.”  

“No,” Elain’s voice wavered. “I heard him s-say to Feyre once: ‘I can’t stand to be in the same room as her for m-more than t-t-two minutes.’” She hastily wiped her tears, embarrassed to be crying in front of her fellow delegates. 

Melanie gasped. “That’s so rude of him! Why would he say that, when he’s always brought you a Solstice gift?” Emerie exclaimed.

“Perhaps he does it out of obligation.” Elain shrugged helplessly. “I-isn’t it extremely difficult for males to control their mating instincts? The fact that he hasn’t done anything at all—” she sniffled. “As for me, it’s just been easier to avoid him than to risk being hurt again.”  

“But from what I understand, Elain,” Emerie said frankly, “you don’t even hate Lucien Vanserra? You hit a rough patch in your life, you got side-tracked with Azriel…” Balthazar’s brown eyes widened in shock, realizing that Azriel was the male Elain tried to pursue. The spymaster?!? His raised eyebrows seemed to say. Elain dipped her head in embarrassment. “But the point is, you were interested in Lucien at some point. And it sounds like you’re still hoping things improve, right?” 

“I also wonder if this is just a case of miscommunication,” Nikon added. “A vicious cycle of misunderstanding perpetuated by the lack of interactions.” 

Elain pressed her lips together and sighed. “I suppose,” she said to both of them. “But I just don’t want to be another mistake again.”

“Wouldn’t this conference be the perfect opportunity to start afresh?” Balthazar suggested. “You’re in a new court, might as well try something new.” 

***

I suppose they are right. Elain lay in a strange new bed, in a foreign court, pondering the mating bond. Although it was technically winter, she quickly learned that the Summer Court was constantly warm. It was odd, having the sun set so early while the air humid and breezy. It was also odd wearing a slip of a nightgown instead of her wool nightgown to cope with the heat. Perhaps I’ve misunderstood Lucien. Now is the perfect time to try something new. 

Elain recalled how heartbreaking Graysen’s rejection had been. Yet it had been ages since he’d crossed her mind. I can barely remember what his handsome features looked like, even though he had taken my maidenhood. He was supposed to be SPECIAL. How strange that someone I so dearly loved was easily buried under the test of time…

 I tried with Azriel, but I still couldn’t get over the bond…

Elain had stolen only ten (she’d kept track) discreet glances at Lucien Vanserra during dinner. He was sat at the Dawn Court’s table, amicably chatting with a Fae male who had lightly furred skin, cat-like amber eyes, and a lion’s furred tail. His fiery red hair had shielded the scarred half of his face. He was dressed in a fashionable silver tunic. These half-second glimpses had rendered Elain breathless, and had awakened some sensation of pure, boundless energy inside her. 

That feeling makes him worth trying for. 

The realization hit Elain like a wall of bricks.  

I was foolish to think the heart-quickening glances and lust could compare to the electrifying feeling of being ALIVE…her nose and eyes burned with emotional tears.

Tarquin mentioned Lucien would be given the choice to stay or leave. I wonder what he’ll choose…Elain anxiously turned to the other, cooler side of the bed. She cringed at his words from the first Solstice: “I can’t stand to be in the same room as her for more than two minutes.”  

Could his mind be changed? Elain missed how he’d sincerely regarded her during the war with Hybern. His soft, gentle voice that was unwavering in his advocacy for her. The look of longing he’d given her before leaving for the continent. Could we go back to what it was before?

IF he decides to stay in Adriata…I will try, Elain resolved silently. This trip is all about doing SOMETHING. Getting out of my comfort zone. I didn’t come all this way to fail. Trying…doesn’t mean I want him. Trying doesn’t mean I accept the bond. Trying is just clearing up the misconceptions, right? 

Her visions had always eluded her whenever it came to her mate. So Elain tossed and turned, thinking all through the night about what her future with Lucien Vanserra could be before falling into a fitful sleep.   

***Emerie***

The first official day was reserved for courts to discuss discriminatory issues among themselves before bringing them up to the subcommittees. Subcommittee One was composed of Lesser Fae, while Subcommittee Two was composed of the High Fae. Just another roundabout way of avoiding the terms “High” and “Lesser”, Emerie had muttered to herself. Though having subcommittees gather before the larger group meeting is probably a good idea. Us Lesser Fae can have our own space to vent without judgment. 

The Night Court delegation had been sitting on the couches in the suite since early morning, making their way through copious amounts of tea, coffee, and fresh fruits. My ass fucking hurts from sitting so long, Emerie mentally grumbled. Even Balthazar looks antsy. Indeed, the Illyrian male had been flapping his wings and rearranging himself every five minutes like a dog trying to find the right spot. We need to ask Varian where the training ring is before we go crazy from lack of movement.

“There are many Illyrian females with functional wings,” Balthazar was saying. “From when High Lord Rhysand banned the wing clipping practice before Amarantha. Unfortunately, only a few of them are skilled at flight.” 

Emerie’s resentment towards the Illyrian females with intact wings bubbled up from time to time. It frustrated Emerie knowing that, had she been born a century earlier, perhaps she would have the ability to take to the skies today. It isn’t the females’ fault…but do they not realize how lucky they are? Imagine having working wings but NOT using them. “It’s because the males intimidate them from flying or training,” Emerie seethed. “The warlords don’t bother teaching the females how to fly or train. It’s just chores, chores, chores all day.”

Balthazar nodded, his brown eyes simmering with anger. “The Blood Rite is also another pain point. A particular vocal faction of males have been claiming that females have an unfair advantage during the Rite.”

“For what reason?” Nikon asked.

“There is no good reason,” Emerie clenched her fists. “The males are simply upset that female Illyrians are training and winning. If anything, the females are at a disadvantage because the males are particularly predatory during the Blood Rite. It’s a no-rules-barred event.” Her companions visibly shuddered. 

The Illyrians frustrated Emerie to no end. And yet, she couldn’t leave her people behind. Not when there were so many more females struggling to fly, to train, to survive. A backwards group of people. War-mongering fiends. Mindless soldier grunts. Just a few of the many insults other Fae throw at us. We are more than that. I will make sure of it, she’d sworn to Mor.  

The gold bracelet Mor had gifted Emerie twinkled on her wrist in the midday light, cooling Emerie’s heat. Which reminded her of another cause. “We should also discuss same-sex Fae relationships,” Emerie broached. To her right, Elain Archeron dutifully scribbled something down into her notepad. The poor female had been frantically taking notes the whole morning, only saying a word here or there. I wonder how she really feels about Lucien Vanserra being here, Emerie mused.  

“What’s the situation like in Velaris?” asked Melanie. “We have a small organization in Hewn City for those Fae to support each other, but that’s about it.”

“That’s an excellent idea.” Nikon ran his hands through his coarse brown hair, from which two small horns poked out. The Velaris councilmember and part-time healer was the eldest and most level-headed in the group. “We don’t have that sort of thing in Velaris. To be frank, although Velaris is often heralded as a haven for all kinds of Fae…same-sex relationships are still frowned upon.” Emerie nodded in agreement. She and Mor could thankfully walk the Velaris streets hand in hand without jeers or insults, but some passersby would give them surprised looks. 

“Why is that?” Elain asked curiously. 

“It ties back to power, right?” Balthazar suggested. “The Lesser Fae are deemed inferior by the High Fae because they wield less magic. And High Fae families often arrange marriages for political alliances and producing powerful children.” 

“Mor was subject to such match-making. The Lady of Autumn as well.” Emerie’s voice trembled. “Same-sex Fae couples do not produce biological children together, so to these families…such unions are not advantageous to shoring up power. Hence the prejudice.” 

Elain wrinkled her nose in disgust. “Sounds like some of the human royalty who were so determined to keep the bloodline ‘royal’ that their offspring suffered poor genetics.” Balthazar and Melanie snorted. “Is breeding really that big of a deal?”

Nikon shrugged. “It depends on the Fae you talk to. The majority of Lesser Fae do not care for such things, though there are certain types of Lesser Fae that are more strict about mating with different Fae.” 

“There is some inter-mixing. Like how Nuala and Cerridwen are half-wraiths. And how Gwyn is part water nymph,” Balthazar offered as examples. “But the Illyrians also place heavy emphasis on bloodlines and nobility. There’s a misguided belief that the strongest warriors breed the strongest warriors. Which is why High Lord Rhysand, General Cassian, and Azriel get under their skin. So-called bastard Illyrians who are more powerful than them.”

“Mor and I could care less about biological offspring and power,” Emerie scoffed. “But like Balthazar said: power is a fickle thing in Prythian. The High Lords—and Ladies—participate in Calanmai every year to regenerate magic into the land, but the Lesser Fae contribute, too. We have seen how the transition of power after a High Lord’s death can be random—”

“So does the land choose its ruler?” asked Elain. 

“And if it does, why does the land never choose a Lesser Fae?” Melanie posited. “No one really knows. I suppose that’s why Tarquin’s decrees have sent the courts into a tizzy. Magic and social hierarchies are so closely intertwined.”

“And for eons, we have simply accepted that the High Fae inherit the land’s power as the way things are,” Nikon added. “These changes are questioning our understanding of magic as well.”

“Wait, we aren’t supposed to be using the terms ‘High’ and ‘Lesser’ anymore,” Balthazar corrected. A collective groan of defeat went up around the room. 

“These habits are harder to break than I thought,” Nikon muttered. “But back to the topic: I agree that we should work on normalizing same-sex Fae couples in the Night Court. But how…?”

“Perhaps we could ask Ellias,” Melanie proposed. “He’s Thesan’s lover. High Lord of the Dawn Court.” The Commander of the Dawn Court’s Peregryn legion was one of the delegates at the welcome dinner last night. 

Emerie nodded. “Good idea. The larger committee meeting is in two days, and I can prepare some questions.” Her veins hummed with a mixture of adrenaline and excitement. She’d been apprehensive about attending such a controversial conference, but the possibility of expanding her horizons had Emerie buzzing with ideas.

Resources linked here!

Read: Ch 5

[withthissoundwiththesewords]

Why y'all sleeping on "The Longest Time".

[darcyfangirlsfrequently]

omg go to karaoke song?

Currently it's "The Longest Time" by Billy Joel

[bargarean]

it ended today and it’s truly a crime to me that seemingly nobody’s brought weapon x-traction to the attention of the non-comic deadclaws fans. it’s the only comic i’ve read that explicitly calls wade pansexual and emphasizes his queerness without it being the butt of the joke. it’s the only thing i’ve ever read that had me genuinely laughing pretty much the whole time. it has some utterly enchanting art. and as of this week and the last it has deadclaws LITERALLY finding each other in every universe

with everything about this comic taken into account i’m so sure that the subtextual intention for it being romantic was there. because like yeah what the fuck is happening in any of this. what’s happening HERE?

why are they so sickeningly domestic. don’t piss me off

[pinkalliums]

society when i gotta wait for my brother so he can watch me finish mother 3 bc he wants to see my reaction (youtube thumbnails are trying to kill me with spoilers)

[retromusicart]

Billy Joel - "The Longest Time" (Columbia, US Single, 1984) - Design by Mark Larson, illustration by Mark Falls

Same concept as before, but in a different style.

Image courtesy of Discogs.

[daydream-the-demon]

Okay the fact I PREDICTED the fact that BillFord is practically true and that they were sure as hell exes. Bill Cipher RADIATED toxic ex energy over Stanford. Even the show radiates toxic old man yaoi.

Bill. The fuck you callin' Ford "Fordsy"?

The fuckin' HAIR RUFFLING that Bill did to Ford. And Ford just TOOK IT?

I- Bill. The fuck?

In a deleted scene, Ford spat in Bill's eye (a.k.a. his mouth) and Bill just fuckin' licked it up. Like- Just think about that.

Ford. This is about you now. YOU WERE WAY TOO OBSESSED ABOUT BILL. You literally pulled a Mabel but instead of putting up posters of boy bands, you put up posters of Bill.

You literally called each other "partners". Yes, it can be platonic, but like... With everything else..? HMM-

This? For WHO? WHO WAS THIS FOR HMM? BILL?

Fearamid thing. If you read the Book of Bill, you know. It was just a ploy to seduce Ford.

Conclusion: Toxic Old Man Yaoi and the triangle is a toxic ex and the old man is an obsessed manipulated ex.

And then the whole "One sixer, please" in the Book of Bill like okay you gotta be kidding me.

[jupiterlandings]

“How is 12 year old Annabeth head of the Athena cabin??”

1. Demi gods have the life expectancy of a lemming.

2. Gifted kids often burn out by age 16 & I doubt any of the Athena teens have the energy or desire to argue with their little sister who willingly takes care of all the family paperwork.

[linkeduniverse]

September Art

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.