#the meds will turn the feeling off

[utilitycaster]

I genuinely believe the fact that so many popular Imogen/Laudna fics are no-powers AU is, if not the main cause, at least a factor in why so many people resist or even are hostile towards any interpretation of Imogen that isn't largely sweet and harmless. Like, write the fic you want, but Imogen in particular is someone so fundamentally shaped by her powers that to write a no powers AU is to write what is essentially a completely original character who happens to share her name.

I think it's made even more obviously a factor because many of those fics try to reconstruct aspects of Imogen's personality by giving her anxiety or agoraphobia (or both) but the problem is that those are purely mental illnesses, rather than something that both gives her powers and penalties (again, the X-Men problem). Some real-world mental illnesses cover the symptoms of Imogen's abilities, but none cover the abilities themselves. It's quite literally a removal of agency: they take away what she can (and frequently does) do with her powers, leaving only the negative effects on her behind while eliminating the negative effects she can have on others. No wonder there's this overwhelming push to woobify her from that corner; they've utterly defanged her and are now crying that other people who can still see her fangs (and even like them) are talking about them.

And the thing is, for all I can be negative about fanon, it is, ultimately, fine - so long one can either keep it separate in one's mind from canon or else remain in a particular fanon sandbox. But unfortunately people leave the sandbox, and when other people respond to the canon Imogen, who as of episode 81 (RIP CRStats) has voluntarily used Detect Thoughts/Open Mind 60 times and has openly stated her intent to use it specifically to know what her party members are doing in advance and theoretically prevent it, the fanfic crowd is utterly unable to react to this intelligently. The idea of Imogen they have is sweet girl with severe anxiety and a goth girlfriend. The problem is this construct exists only in their favorite fanfic writers' domestic fluff modern AU no powers setting. And frankly, I'm not interested in talking about that warped mirror version of her when I could have all the fascination, complexity, glory, and agency of the real thing.

[noe-clara69]

Could possibly be working on an aftg gender swap fic (aftg where everything is the same except Neil and the twinyards are girls)

Anyways, having difficulty figuring out what Neil’s name should be

Lmk if you have more ideas and I’ll make a new poll

[shitposting-hobbits-to-gallifrey]

nothing worse than when you see a post that is 100% a joke and not at all serious but that also kinda highkey rubs you the wrong way for slightly stupid reasons

[jittyjames]

ptsd is being such a bitch to me tonight guys. your girl is not doing well.

[aftermathing]

white man experiences racism for the first time. sad!

[care666bear]

I may be dramatic, an equal mix of co dependent & avoidant, either a chatter box or a ghost, a bit of a cunt when im frustrated & off the walls insane from the moment I wake up everyday due to a brain that is never quiet & very sick & that hates me a lot but!!!! I promise I’m loyal like a dog & I do look cute when im wrapped around your finger & I’ll always think of you when I see pretty things and the moon & i don’t even pray but I’ll pray your days are as lovely as you with every new day that starts & with every effort I can be vigilant on, you make me want to be a better person or whatever

[heartshattering]

Is there anything that helps with the nighttime panic? :/

[rosicheeks]

how is the sale going?

🙃🙃🙃🙃

[purplethespian]

Waiting for Permission to Be Sick - Input Requested!

So, I got officially diagnosed with two chronic conditions last week. And the doctor explained to me the details of how these conditions affect my body, and what kinds of symptoms to look out for, and what I can expect life to look like going forward. And I got prescribed meds, and given detailed instructions for when to take them and any side effects I might experience and what to do to help myself feel better if I'm not feeling well, and all of that.

And I just. Haven't done it. I've started taking some of the meds, but not all of them, and like. There's no real reason for me not to? I'm just. Not doing it. Like I've looked up some products on Etsy to have like. Emergency medical info with me so that if I randomly black out or faint again in public, someone could see me and have info know what to do. And I've been looking at pins that say "I have an invisible disability" and aaaaaaaall sorts of stuff. Basically just window shopping for my chronic illness starter kit. But it's been over a week now and I haven't bought anything, and I seem to have convinced myself that I can't start taking my meds until I have all of my Items sorted out and prepared. And like -- there are some actual reasons for this, such as my schedule has been all over the place and my meds need to be taken at multiple times a day at certain intervals, and some with food and some without food, so I need to be able to have that stuff ready to go even when I'm out and about.

But I'm not. Actually doing the work to get everything sorted out and ready? I'm just window shopping. And today, I have been very tired all day because of the rain and because I did too much yesterday, and my head has been hurting because I'm still not over my concussion and I also probably did too much today, even though honestly all I did was go to one class and observe the whole time, and read a couple of emails. And I thought to myself, "well I guess I should take tylenol for my head, and I guess I can give myself permission to do that since my boyfriend is busy and can't tell me to take care of myself --- oh."

I have been waiting for someone to give me permission to identify as chronically ill! Even today I was like "I feel like I've managed to convince myself that I feel worse than I actually do, and I'm actually fine." Even though there would be no real reason for me to be doing that. And like. My head actually hurts! I really did and still do feel tired! And I've seen my test results, and I know that I have a chronic condition. It's been medically confirmed by a bunch of different tests, and multiple medical professionals have been like "yep you've got something wrong with you" (though using more professional and kind words, of course). All of this to say -- I have been waiting for someone to tell me that I am ill and it is chronic and that it is okay to spend money on taking care of myself and things that will make me feel better, even if it is only temporary like the excitement of buying a new pouch that says "This Bag Is Full of Drugs" specifically to keep my medical supplies in, or something to help keep me safe going forward like a medical alert key chain. The only question now is -- what do I do about this? How do I give myself permission to need help or extra accommodations or even just some medication when I never want to admit that I need or want help? I'm so used to being self-sufficient and doing everything by myself that I don't know how to be okay with more problems.

Has anyone else experienced something like this? What do you do? How do you learn to be okay with the fact that your body is not going to go back to the way it was before? I am only 22 and it's hard to accept that my life is not going to look the way I pictured it when I was 18.

[kitticula]

healing from brain damage is definitely the worst injury ive ever had to heal from so far 😞 this shit is so difficult yall

[toastsnaffler]

yeah I'm not gonna talk abt it am I...

[napping-sapphic]

What in the absolute world made me think stalling taking my medicine would be a good plan i feel like im about to die

[miketownsends]

it’s early still and we already know i don’t know ball from the last time i declared i was feeling good about the team and it seemed like they’d turned a corner only to have them turn around and nearly get swept by the Tigers (and then actually get swept by them a week later)

but the Dan Wilson team feels a little different?

it’s an insignificantly small sample size so far obviously (you cannot discern patterns from 4 games in a 162 game season). they’re still not scoring a TON of runs overall. but it feels kind of like they’re gritting out runs in a way they weren’t doing before? feels like they’re stealing a lot more, at the very least. which, if you’re struggling to score runs, makes sense - obviously it doesn’t help with the strikeouts, but if you can get yourself in position to score on a single or a sac fly, you can take better advantage of the hits when they happen. (had a moment of wondering if maybe they were trying to mess with expectations by stealing more often but we ARE 10th overall as a team this year for stolen bases. there’s a bigger gap between the #1 team and us vs. us and the #30 team, but the average overall for the league is 98 SB and we’re at 107.) (honestly what i’m REALLY curious about is Cal going for a bunt last night. it wasn’t even a sac bunt situation! there was no one on base! what was up with that. you’re fast but idk if you’re THAT fast. anyway.)

maybe they’re just getting luckier and chaos ball is breaking their way a little more (that 3-run HR does not happen without a fielding error and a weird little dribbler that hits the bag instead of going foul). maybe they’ve just decided they’ve got nothing to lose and they’re not going to get the division lead back by playing it safe. maybe Dan is actually making different game decisions than Scott would’ve made and they’re making the difference. or maybe this is all just a fluke and they are simply winning games lately thanks to the whims of god and as soon as they have lost divine favor they will go back to losing! who knows.

at the very least, they feel a little more fun to watch, and that’s gotta count for something right? (especially for me, who has been and will continue to be at every game this homestand and cannot just turn off the tv if the games get miserable lmao)

[stormoflina]

I need to go back to my roots and start being weird here again. 🙂‍↔️

[togo--mimori]

In my hypomanic state I have turned anons back on. Behave

[mutalune]

really wish there was a tag that separated “I’m having Big Angry and/or Angsty Opinions about Star Wars” from “I’m goofing off with Star Wars I’m playing in the sandbox none of this is real so yes I will make my blorbo and this random glub shitto go on an adventure that makes no logical sense” posts because there’s too much of the former and not enough of the latter for my current mental state