#the memories of his life as danny may never come back | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ficthots · 1 year

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To Whom It May Concern

A/N: Jesus I so overdid this, but I couldn’t help myself. Love triangle. Need I explain more? Also, I know this picture is way overused, but it's basically the only one of these two together! What's up with that by the way? Anywho, as always let me know what you guys think and enjoy!

Warnings: Smut. DNI if you are under 18. 18+ only

Word Count: 18.8k+

Falling in love is a right of passage. It happens at different ages and times for everyone. As you grow, so do your infatuations. These feelings you can’t begin to describe take over your being and infiltrate your mind daily. They can happen more than once, they can happen just once, it all varies and depends on the person. Loving love is what we're taught from such a young age. Why would anyone be anything but enthralled to finally feel the deep rooted sensations that accompany love?

Because they can be unrequited. A majority of the time they are. Whomever has captured your attention and the blossoming feelings that you begin to feel deep in your soul are simply unreturned. Never showing a large interest in even thinking about expressing or returning those emotions.

That seemed to be your only experience with love.

On more than one occasion you admit to staring off into space as you imagined him finally admitting his feelings for you. What your life and world could be like if he was by your side for it all. Something you had been imagining and daydreaming about since you first met him when you were just a child. Not fully comprehending what those butterflies in your stomach actually were. As you grew older, you harbored those feelings for him, settling for being just friends.

You could be the friend. Sure, those feelings wouldn’t go away, in fact it was quite the opposite. They only expanded. Spending incredulous amounts of time together over the years meant it was the only way it was going to happen. The sweetest boy turned man you had ever met in your life. Watching from the sidelines as he hopped from relationship to relationship, never looking at you the way you had so desperately wanted for years. But it didn’t matter because it was him.

Danny.

Having grown up with the Kiszka boys, Danny joined the group in middle school. The rest was history for you. The second the tall, lanky boy entered their living room, being introduced by Sam, you felt your mouth go dry. Eyes nearly bugging out of your head at the sight of him, you didn’t know what to say when he took the spot next to you on the floor, legs going under the coffee table.

The gang was playing a round of monopoly and when his knee lightly brushed yours, you melted into the floor. “Hey,” he said with a kind, but nervous smile. Clearing your throat, you anxiously straightened the fake money piles in front of you, terrified to make eye contact with him. “Hey,” you offered back eyes darting up to him and seeing his attention already focused on the board.

Staring at your best friend across the table, Sam’s eyebrows were furrowed, shaking his head no at you. Feeling heat creep up your cheeks and neck, you had a silent conversation using only various looks with the youngest brother. A throat cleared next to you, seeing older brother Jake’s head move between you both.

With a nudge, Jake spoke up, “It’s your turn, belly,” your eyes went wide at the horrendous nickname, embarrassment pummeling you at the term being used right then. “Belly? Why belly?” His voice spoke up from next to you, but everyone burst out in laughter as Sam tried to get the explanation out.

“Be-because, we went to a lake one summer a long time ago, an-and she belly flopped off the back of the boat into the wa-water.” Tears streamed down all of their faces at the ridiculous memory, but all he did was offer a light chuckle, elbow popping out towards your arm as he leaned towards you. “It’s better than all of your nicknames coming from being the tallest kid in the class or having a huge nose,” he gave a kind smile, trying to offer a sense of relief from the others still rolling around on the floor from laughter.

You nearly choked on your words as you tried to respond to him. “I-I like your nose. I don’t think it’s big at all. And Michael Davidson is taller than you,” his smile grew at your words. You couldn’t keep eye contact a second longer after that, eyes going back to the board and rolling your dice as Sam continued cackling.

“Shut up, Sam! Or should I say skidmark,” as Jake and twin Josh had just caught their breath, they were back to rolling around on the floor dying in laughter. Sam quieted down right away after that, face burning bright red at the jab back at him. “Whatever, I don’t want to play anymore. Come on, Danny. I’ll show you my guitar. It’s pretty cool.”

Jake slammed his money on the table as the boys pounded up the stairs, you staring after them in awe as they moved, Jake shouting after them, “Sam, I swear to god, if you touch my guitar, I’ll kill you!” You didn’t notice you had been staring until Josh spoke up next to you.

“Well, I guess that mean’s games over. Can you help me put it away?” You snapped back into the moment, quickly nodding in agreement as you aided Josh in putting the game away. He chatted the entire time, but you had no idea what he had said at all. Only thinking about the new boy upstairs.

That was just the beginning. He was around nearly every single day after that. Taking over as drummer for their little band and constantly being over for practice. You were over everyday because it was just what you did. Your parents worked late, and you weren’t comfortable being home alone so late, so you went to the Kiszka house until one of your parents would come and get you.

Unrequited love. That was the definition of your entire relationship with Danny. You had been in love with the boy since the day he had walked into the room, but nothing you did or said made a difference. In Danny’s eyes, you were just another part of the group. Nothing more.

Years rolled by with no advances. As he became an adopted brother to the boys, it seemed like you became his adopted sister. It didn’t matter what you tried, it simply just didn’t matter. Realization of this dawned on you during your senior year of high school. Prom season had quickly approached. Sam had asked one of the girls in your class, and you had been asked by two different guys that you had turned down.

Sitting in your room Sam had his legs straight up against your bed, back flush with the floor, tossing a ball up into the air while your other best friend, Marcia, sat at your desk while you looked at the dress you had bought for prom.

“Okay, what do you think?” You turned to face them both, their heads turning to you and Marcy gasped, eyes wide as she nodded fervently. “Oh my god, yes, yes, yes! That dress is everything.” Sam nodded, going back to tossing his ball. “Looks good. Who are you going with? I heard that Mason Bloomson asked you. Did you say yes?” Eyes falling downcast, you shook your head. “Oh, yeah, he did. I turned him down,” Marcy’s jaw nearly hit the floor at your words. “You said no to Mason?” You only offered a shrug, turning back towards the floor length mirror, playing with the dress, wanting to avoid the topic all together.

Sam sighed, deciding to be as blunt as possible with you. “Danny’s not asking you, belly.” You shot him a dirty look through the mirror. “I’m not waiting for Dan-” he cut you off before you could finish, “He already asked Jessica Frock. She said yes,” you tried to mask the hurt expression that plastered to your face.

Marcy’s face fell, locking eyes with you through the mirror, an apologetic look on her own face. Trying to shake it off, Sam carefully watched your reaction from the corner of his eyes. “I’m sorry, belly flop,” your nose and lips twitched to the side as you felt the hurt pummel you.

“I wanted to go alone. It’s more fun that way.” Was all you could offer in return, now hating the color of dress you had picked. After having seen his suit just a couple weeks prior, the silver and gold dress you had selected because you thought it would match Danny well now seemed ridiculous.

The day of prom, you spent nearly all day getting ready with Marcy, knowing it was time to go down the street for pictures. When you appeared at the Kiszka house for photos, your eyes were immediately drawn to him. He looked amazing. The suit fit him perfectly, not making him look as skinny as he typically did, hair slicked back, boutonniere pinned to his lapel. He looked happy as he and Jessica matched perfectly.

You felt heat creep up your neck at the whistle that came from the other side of the room. “You look amazing, belly.” Josh leaned against the doorframe, eyes bright with amusement as you walked over to him. “Thanks, chompers.” The nickname you came up for him based on the sheer size of his smile and teeth. His face lightly pinked at your words.

Looking around the room, his brows furrowed as he saw Sam with his date, Danny with Jessica, and Marcy with hers, his eyes fell back to you. “Where’s your date? Is he running late?” You shook your head, taking in a short breath as you tried to laugh it off. “Oh, no. I’m going by myself.”

A look of shock took over Josh’s face at your words, standing up straight. “What? Why?” You couldn’t help but look at him. Laughing with Sam about the picture they had just taken together. “I-I just wasn’t asked by the right person.” Josh followed your gaze, nodding with understanding but not saying anything more.

When the parents called you over for the group photo, you begrudgingly trekked over. The picture of you, Sam, and Danny had you placed in between them. “Ah, how cute! Danny and belly girl match!” Danny’s brows furrowed at his moms words, looking down to see what you were wearing.

Laughter escaped him as he looked back towards the camera. “Oh, look we do.” His hand came up and lightly ruffled your hair. You tried to laugh through the awkwardness that sat deep in your stomach, smoothing down the top of your hair. “Ye-yeah.” That was the last Danny said to you all night.

You ended up sitting on the balcony for most of the evening, watching over the party goers, tears streaming down your cheeks at how incredibly stupid you felt about the entire thing. You should’ve known better. Danny didn’t see you that way. The way you looked at him like he had hung the stars and the moon just for you. Like he was the only person in the world worth a damn.

No, to Danny you were just another part of the group. When Sam invited you to a band practice one afternoon you knew you had nothing better to do so you went. Sitting in the garage listening to the sound pounding around you, you couldn’t fight the smile that grew on your face with each passing minute.

Eyes glued to him. He moved so easily despite the burn you knew he had in his arms. Never missing a beat, it was like second nature to him. He was captivating. As the boys went in to grab a drink of water, you remained in the garage with Danny.

“So, what do you think?” You stood from your stool, walking over to the drum set. “Eh.” His shocked laugh fell from his lips. “Eh? We just poured out hearts and souls into this and you say eh?” You both fought through laughter as he feigned hurt.

Giving a shrug, you went to his own seat, plopping down and grabbing the sticks from his hands. “Watch the professional. You might want to take notes here,” he leaned against a tool chest, arms crossed over his chest as he watched you.

You took in a deep breath, rolling your head in an over dramatic way, wanting to make a show of this. When you opened your eyes, you immediately just started hitting everything you could, letting your foot go wild on the pedal, nothing but horrific noise going into the room. Danny started laughing so hard, he hunched over, hands flat on the tops of his thighs as he watched from the sidelines.

“Okay, okay! Don’t break ‘em!” He approached you as you came to stop, out of breath from the exertion. Giggles falling from you. “I mean that was pretty good, right? I feel like we sounded exactly the same. I can be your understudy anytime. Just give me a call and I’m there.”

He came up behind you, hands enclosing over yours, looming over you as he got your hands into actual position. His leg hooked under yours, moving it to the correct spot. His head came down, cheek nearly brushing yours as he spoke. “Yeah, let’s get some more practice first. Okay, it’s one-two-two-one,” he moved your hands with his, hitting the drums as he spoke.

“Now, when you feel my foot hit yours, hit the pedal,” your tongue darted out as you tried adjusting your body to actually try and play. Continuing with the basic motions, him guiding you still, his foot occasionally tapping yours to remind you to hit the pedal, you actually had a smooth rhythm going.

The garage door opened, the guys walking in and seeing the beaming smile on your face as you played with Danny, slowly speeding up. “Huh? Look at this! I am so your back up drummer now.” All three of their eyebrows shot up, nodding, but Jake pointed to Danny.

“Take your hands off,” he did so and you immediately lost the smooth pace you had been playing at. Pouting at Jake, you pointed a stick at him, “You’re such an ass!” Laughter erupted from everyone as Danny tapped your shoulder, letting you know it was time to get up.

Reluctantly standing, you once again took your regular spot, but Josh approached you. “Hey, I think you’ve got amazing potential. More so than me.” He shot you a wink as you laughed, pushing him away from you.

You were buzzing for the remainder of the week.

Nothing ever changed. Even as you grew older, having gone off to college, their music taking off. Becoming a massive success seemingly overnight. They weren’t home near enough anymore. When you were able to get home from school, they were almost always gone and vice versa.

Of course, you dated around, but nothing ever stuck. No massive feelings ever erupting for anyone else. Still only viewing Danny in that light. It wasn’t until Christmas break when you had gotten home that you noticed an aura shift in the house. The bouncing boy, full of energy and life, came crashing into the party.

Something was…different. You couldn’t help but look at Josh…different. When his eyes connected with yours, you didn’t think it was possible for his smile to grow larger, eyes get brighter, but he took off in your direction, enveloping you in a massive hug. Hands cupping your cheeks as he pulled back, a different look on his face than ever before.

“My belly girl!” He pulled you back to him. Butterflies.

It would be another year before anything would ever come of that. But it didn’t matter because he still caught your eye. Hair longer than ever before, eyes beaming as he took you in. Still Danny. Still not the look you dreamed of.

“I’m fucking done. Do you have any idea how bad that date was last night?” Angrily slamming a plate into the soapy water into the sink below, your two best friends laughed on the other end of the FaceTime call. “No, belly, please do tell.”

You gave Sam the dirtiest look you could manage as his sarcastic tone rang through the speaker. “No. Just for that, I won’t. There is nobody. Literally no good guys anymore. They’re all sleazy assholes and the ones that are good either don’t like you back or are taken. It’s a goddamn lose-lose situation, here!”

Frustration had your voice going up to a pitch it typically didn’t. “Bells, you just have bad taste in men.” Setting the plate down after scrubbing it roughly, you deadpanned to the split screen, Marcy’s words not making you feel any better.

“Thanks for the help. I appreciate you both so much.” Sam groaned, moving around the hotel he was currently in before flipping a light switch on and showcasing his entire face for the first time. “If you would just act on your feelings maybe this wouldn’t be happening. You’re too afraid of everything and that’s the problem here and you know it.”

Eyebrows drawing in at his words, your soap covered hands rested on the counter top. “Am not.” You muttered back, but Marcy caught it. “Are too! Both Danny and Josh are prime examples of this. You’ve had a crush on Danny since forever and Josh since you were nineteen years old. You. Are. A. Chicken.”

Rolling your eyes, you continued with your dishes. “I don’t even like them anymore. They were phases. I had no interaction with any other boys until college. Of course I would like whoever was in front of me.”

They both protested, but before they could continue Sam had to end the call, needing to head to the venue for their last show of their tour. An amazing, globe trotting tour that had you bursting with pride at the once garage band now literal rockstars. Seeing their dreams happen right before your eyes.

You hardly spoke to anyone for the following few days, having had an insane time at work and knowing the boys were getting back to Nashville sometime that week, you were far too busy to dwell on it. They had basically followed you to Nashville, you having gotten into school there and finding a job right after school, the gang ended up following.

Collapsing on your couch with a loud sigh and groan, having changed for the night, you were looking forward to reading and consuming an adult cocktail, but that came to an abrupt halt when a knock sounded on the other side of your front door. Debating on ignoring it, a text came through to your phone just seconds later.

Perm-It’s me. Open the door. Please :)

Excitement coursed through you as you jumped from your seat and opened your door with haste. Throwing yourself into his embrace, his curls tickled your cheek as he wrapped his arms around you. “Belly!” You could hear the big smile through his words.

His arms tightened around you as you rocked with him, not wanting to let go just yet, one of his hands cradling the back of your head, the other wrapped tightly around your waist. “Fro boy! When did you guys get back?” He laughed, reluctantly letting you go, hands not leaving you just yet.

“This afternoon.” You grabbed his hand, dragging him into your apartment and going to your kitchen to make him a drink. “I want to hear everything,” he cleared his throat, your back facing him, “Belly,” continuing on and ignoring him, you animatedly kept talking. “Tell me everything, every story,” he tried again to intervene, “Bells.” Still, you carried on. “I’ve only heard some from Sam, but you always tell them so much better than him.”

When you turned on your heel, drink made for him in hand, the glass slipped from your fingers as you saw what he held in his hands, his cheeks bright red. He immediately went to clean the broken glass that scattered around the floor. “Ho-how di-did you get that?” Your finger pointed at the envelope in his hands, unable to process what was happening.

With Josh still crouched on the floor, paper towels in hand, mopping up the liquid and picking up the glass shards, he answered. “It was in my mail when I got home.” Your trembling hands grabbed the envelope, praying that it wasn’t opened.

It was.

“This isn’t even your current address.” You mumbled out, seeing the decorated envelope in your hands. When Josh stood back up, his gaze fell to it. “It was in another envelope.” Nodding, you went to your couch and sat down, the item still in your hands, unable to get up to speed.

His awkward laugh broke through the room as he appeared in your line of vision. “I think we need to talk about it.” You swallowed thickly, not having blinked once. “Mhm.” You answered back. He sat on the coffee table, merely inches from you.

He waited for you. Didn’t pressure you. Wanted you to be ready to share with him whatever you were feeling. Whatever explanation you wanted to give. Taking a deep breath, you calmed down enough to look into the large doe eyes peering at you, giving you a comforting smile.

“I just want to start by saying that letter is old. Very old. That's why that address isn’t right. I don’t know how or who sent it, but it wasn’t me.” Josh laughed with a shrug, hands rubbing his knees. “I figured that out when you dropped that glass.” Your eyes shut, a small laugh bubbling from your lips.

“Sorry about that by the way. It was gonna be a really good mule.” You both laughed together, feeling the tension slowly ease. “I wrote that letter when I knew I had feelings for you.” He nodded slowly, following along with your tale.

A shuttered breath fell from your throat. “I’m not going to lie to you. I wrote that when I was hopelessly in love with you, Josh. I was nineteen. It was on that trip back home during the Christmas break of my sophomore year.” It dawned on him right then exactly what trip it was.

“The kickback.” He breathed out. You flipped the envelope over, pulling the pieces of paper from it, unfolding and rereading the emotions you had felt tenfold when you wrote it. Everything rushing back to you then.

Joshua Michael Kiszka,

Oh, the brightest ball of sunshine that I have ever encountered and probably ever will. Do you know how much you light up a room when you enter it? You’ve done it since we were kids. Drawn all eyes to you. Pulling all the attention in a room straight to you. I am guilty of this. Of seeing you and only you. A spotlight if you will.

I don’t know how else to explain this. How I’m feeling. The unexplainable, unmeasurable emotions that are erupting from deep within. Taking notice of my best friend’s older brother. The twin that I’ve always felt the strongest pull towards. That can have butterflies wrestling in my stomach with such a simple look. How you take care of me. Ensuring that I am always okay. No matter how far apart we are. How blind I’ve been, Josh. My sincerest apologies for not recognizing this sooner. Being preoccupied elsewhere. But not tonight.

You kissed me tonight.

The entire world faded away and in that moment it was just us. I wish it could remain that way for the rest of time together. We sat together at that kickback, bonfire roaring, but that wasn’t what kept me warm tonight. It was you. Your presence, your everloving persona. After having watched the show of a lifetime by you and your brothers, I thought it was just going to be like any other night.

How wrong was I? Maybe it was the energy you had from the evening or maybe it was how you had been feeling for a long while. I never saw the looks you gave me until tonight, but you’ve always been there, haven’t you? I was just too dumb to see it.

I love you, Josh. Forever yours.

Belly

You couldn’t help but smile at the lovesick girl that wrote this. So overpowered by the emotions she had felt when the older brother kissed her. He had sat next to you on a log, asking you how you thought the show went. You two sat and talked for ages. About anything and everything. It happened in the blink of an eye. It was the way he looked at you and you looked at him. Like you were truly seeing him for the first time.

Joshua.

“Do you still feel this way, belly?” His voice was nothing but a whisper. Not wanting to frighten you off. Buying you time to respond. Not needing an answer right away. Because Josh was never rushed. Never bothered by the wait. He continued on, still speaking low. “I’ve liked you for a long time. So long I can’t even think back to when it started. I-I didn’t know you felt the same otherwise I would’ve acted on it.”

When his eyes came back up and locked on yours, you went to answer, mouth opening to let sound out, but you heard your phone ding, drawing your attention to the cushion next to you that lit up.

Little drummer boy- Attachment: 1 Image

Little drummer boy- Think we need to talk

Your mouth was gaping like a fish, trying to catch any air you possibly could. Feeling the beginnings of an anxiety attack barreling through you, nausea surfacing, you moved back from Josh. Leaning forward, you placed your forehead against the tops of your thighs, nearly brushing against your knees, trying to will your breathing back to normal.

“Belly, what’s going on? Breathe, take a breath,” Josh’s hand caressed your back, rubbing soothing circles, trying to muster up the courage to tell him what happened. “Someone else got a letter,” you mumbled it out so quietly, he almost wasn’t sure you had spoken at all.

He lightly chuckled, withdrawing his hand from your warm back to let you properly sit up. “What?” With your eyes still squeezed shut, you sat upright and let a shaky breath out. “Someone else got a letter,” it was choked out, opening your eyes as you finished to see his expression.

It was his turn to be surprised. Bushy brows near kissing on his face, a puzzled look adorning his handsome features. “Wait, what? There’s-there’s another letter?” Your eyes shot up to the ceiling as your head fell back. “Technically three, but only two are accounted for,” gnawing on your lip, you saw a smile starting to grace his face.

“Wow, alright. Three, huh?” You nodded, playing with the skin on your fingernails as you dove into a word vomit of an explanation. “I’ve written a letter for every person I’ve ever been in love with. All at very different times in my life. It was the only way for me to express my feelings without actually saying something.”

Taking in a large breath after you had finished, that signature lopsided smile, the shit eating grin that turned you into mush, adorned his lips. “Who's the others?” Rolling your eyes, you propelled up from the couch, trying to figure out how to respond to Danny’s message. Maybe don’t respond at all and you just won’t have to deal with it.

“Uh uh.” You murmured out, nearly downing your own cocktail in one swig. He followed you, hand gripping your wrist and turning you to face him. “All I’m saying is I deserve to know. Might be some competition here,” he laughed at the end, but when your head snapped up from your screen, color draining from your face, it hit you.

This was going to be bad. Not just for you, but for literally every single one of the boys. Josh was obviously showing interest in you, Danny was probably going to want to stay as far away from you as possible from now on, it was just going to be…weird. His face deadpanned, smile diminishing as he knew who got the other letter.

His eyes stared at his shoes, kicking an imaginary rock around your kitchen as he bit out the name, not sure what to do. “Danny, right?” His arms were behind his back, each hand holding the other wrist. Standing back up straight, his eyes locked with yours.

Immediate devastation. Loss. Not even a fighting chance.

“Josh-I. Yeah. He got one of them.” He shrugged, a knowing look taking over. “So, that’s it then, right?” You immediately shook your head, reaching a hand out for his. “No, no. I-just, this is a lot happening at once. Can-can I just have some time?” He perked back up instantly, leaning forward and placing the gentlest kiss you had ever received on your lower cheek, capturing the highest corner of your mouth.

Squeezing your hand, eyes bright. Excited. Hopeful.

“I’m here. Whenever you’re ready. I’ll always be here.” Josh left just a second after that. Your hands trembled, picking your phone back up and just staring at the message. The text bubble popped back up, disappearing, and then another message appeared.

Little drummer boy- C’mon over belly doors unlocked

It took every ounce of courage you had to get in your car and drive over to his home. It was a short drive, only seven minutes from your apartment complex, but it felt like the longest drive you had ever experienced in your life.

You weren’t ready to do this. To deal with the feelings you had been harboring for years. Since the day you met him. You could’ve vomited as you trudged up his front steps, hand grabbing the cool knob, opening the door as you got the sweeping comfort of his home.

A warm embrace. The smell of him lingered everywhere, the cologne you adored more than anything was on every surface. The lights were dim in the house, only some low lights on, music playing through the surround sound speakers. His back was to you as he stood in the kitchen.

Clearing your throat, you were terrified your wavering voice would crack and break as you spoke to him. “Dan-danny?” He instantly turned and faced you, a large smile on his face as he nearly ran from the kitchen, sweeping you up in his embrace, crushing you to him.

Your laughter mixed with his, arms enclosing around his neck, the long curls covering your arms. “Belly! God I missed you,” he placed a large kiss to the side of your head, placing you back on the floor, arms not removing from you as he did. “Hey yourself,” you still were giggling at his over excitement.

His large hands came up, cradling both sides of your jaw, eyes squinted as his smile took over his face. Smushing your cheeks together, he was reluctant to let you go, but you batted his hands away with a laugh. Your eyes immediately fell to the counter where it sat. Waiting.

Gaze following yours, his lips sucked back into his mouth, hands tucking into the tight pockets of his dark jeans. “I’m so sorry, Danny. I-I don’t know how it got to you, who sent it, I-I just have no clue.” You were speaking quietly, eyes not being able to pull away from the torn top of the letter.

He motioned to his living room, grabbing the letter as you both made your way to the couch. You sat far from him. Not wanting to make this any more uncomfortable then it had to be. Playing with the envelope in his hands, his eyes remained stuck on it. You weren’t even sure where to start. Not with Danny.

“I wrote that letter when I was seventeen. It was-was never supposed to be seen by anybody, especially you. That letter was the only way I could channel all of those feelings into some sort of outlet. I had-had been feeling that way for so long,” he cut you off as you spoke, “Since we first met.” His eyes cut up to yours, swallowing thickly at his intense stare.

You couldn’t speak. Wanting to deny it, but you literally couldn’t. He had the proof right there in his hands. Instead you just nodded. Danny tossed the letter onto the coffee table in front of him, hands coming up to rub harshly at his face. A frustrated sigh turned groan leaving him as he tried to gather his thoughts.

“Belly, I didn’t-had I-I’m sorry.” You couldn’t look at him, see the pure anger. Disappointment. All of it painting his face. “No, I know you didn’t. Please don’t apologize. It-it was years ago. All in the past.” Finding the fuzz on your leggings of more interest, you picked it off, a pained laugh bubbling from your throat, trying to ease the seriousness of this.

In the blink of an eye, Danny was sitting right next to you, shaking his head fervently at your words. “No, oh my god, belly no. I didn’t mean-I just meant I didn’t know you felt that way. I didn’t want to create some crazy idea in my head that couldn’t be lived up to, you know what I mean? You were-are so out of my league, I never thought.” He trailed off at the end, leaving you absolutely speechless.

Not offering any more words, Danny continued on. “You’re an amazing person, belly. That’s why I never tried more with you. I don’t take rejection very well and had things not worked or you said no, it would’ve made things bad. I’m sorry.” As Danny poured his entire heart out and all the qualms he’d been facing, all your mind could think of was Josh.

How despite not noticing him in that way, seeing the pure joy that crossed his face every time he saw you, he did exactly that. Saw you. Looked at you the way you wanted. How a small portion of your stomach still flipped when you thought of his toothy grin. The same way the other half of your tummy would erupt in nerves when Danny would laugh.

“There’s other letters.” You finally blurted out. He halted, trying to understand what you meant. “I wrote one for each person I ever fell in love with. You were one, there’s another one I’m not entirely sure if it was sent, and-” you paused, trying to muster the courage to just be honest with him, “and the other went to Josh.” Your voice was whisper quiet at the end, on the edge of your seat to see his reaction.

Standing from his spot on the couch, your neck craned back to watch him. His hands went to his hips, beginning to think out loud. “Josh Josh?” You nodded, not wanting to speak anymore and have this spiral out of control. “You have feelings for him?”

You responded quickly, wanting to set this straight. “Had! I mean,” you took in a deep breath, somehow on your feet, but not recalling when you too had stood up, “I don’t know. There's a lot happening right now and these were written so long ago and a long time apart. Different times of my life.”

Trying to get your point across was only further confusing the boy. “Well, now you’re here. At this point in your life. Belly, how do you feel now? You-your letter says you have always had feelings for me. What happened to where it shifted to Josh? What did I do?” His eyes were wild, not focusing on anything as his mind raced a mile a minute, hands moving around like crazy.

You scoffed at his question, seeming as though the answer was blaringly obvious. “You never showed interest in me, Danny. I moved on. I had to move on from the childhood crush that had taken over my life. I couldn’t waste any more time sitting there love sick over you.” His eyes grew glassy as he stared at you from across the room.

Head falling downcast, he nodded his head. “It’s Josh then, right?” Babbling incoherently, you crossed your arms over your chest, observing his movements. Body rigid with nerves, waiting for your response. “No. I don’t know right now.”

He crossed the room, hands taking your elbows and pulling you towards him, removing your hands from your biceps and enclosing in his. “Give me a chance, bells. A chance to just-just make this right. Fix what I fucked up.” Your eyes were wide, feeling him peer into you.

Seeing you.

Slowly nodding your head, his hands moved from yours, one slipping under your hair, cupping around the back of your neck, the other landing on your hip, he tilted your head down. Your hands stayed limp at your sides, not sure what to do at this moment as his lips landed softly on your forehead, then your hairline, bringing you closer to him and simply holding you. Just for a moment.

You left Danny’s house that night and as soon as you got back to your apartment, you began wracking your brain for how those letters could have possibly been sent out. The FaceTime call dial echoed in the quiet house, both of them picking up at the same time.

“Who did it?” You immediately spoke out, anger coursing through your veins, nearly quivering. Neither responded, so you pressed again. Still not a response. “Belly, can you please clarify?” Sam finally spoke.

Jaw setting, a small tick being heard which meant your jaw had in fact locked just momentarily, you talked through gritted teeth. “The. Letters. Who sent them?” When Sam and Marcy both snorted through the speaker, you wanted to throw your phone at the wall as though it would actually harm them in the moment.

“We both did. You’re welcome by the way.” Marcy said through giggles. You feigned a laugh, a simple ha ha falling from you, directing your attention solely to Sam. “Oh yeah, real good idea guys. Hey, Sammy?” He hummed in response, eyes finally looking at the screen for the first time.

You gave a sarcastic grin, obviously not entertained with this. “Do you know who those letters were for?” He shook his head, closing his eyes, and speaking. “No, of course not. I didn’t want to invade your privacy like that.”

Nodding with a laugh to match theirs, still not sincere, you decided it was time to pop his bubble. Pull him from the high and mighty spot he held himself in. “Well, only two of the three have been noted. Both sent to your brothers. Remember Danny and Josh?”

Watching as his smile fell from his face, a mixture of shock and anger morphed his features. “What?” You continued with the faux smile plastered on your mouth. “Yup. It gets better! Josh showed up at my apartment, told me he had strong feelings for me and at the exact moment he’s telling me that I get a notification from Danny that he got his! Head over to his place and guess what? He too has feelings for me. Now, I turn to you two. What the fuck do I do?”

Your smile had entirely fallen at the end, shouting into the speaker at the pair who both sat in utter silence. Sam tossed his phone onto a nearby surface, a loud groan echoing through his home before he picked it up, deadpanned once more as he eyed you.

“Decide now. Who is it?” You shake your head, not even wanting to deal with that yet. A small giggle bubbles from the back of your throat, soon collapsing into a heap of laughter. The entire absurdity of the situation smacking you across the face.

It wasn’t long before the two others joined you, wiping tears that spilled from the corners of their eyes. “Well, belly, I don’t think you can say that there aren’t any good guys interested in you anymore. Now you have two to choose from.”

You left the phone call at that. This entire thing was absolutely ridiculous. Both of these boys whom you had admittedly fallen in love with over the course of many years who had never shown true interest in you now both vying for you. What the fuck were you supposed to do?

Ignoring texts and phone calls for the next few days only proved futile enough until Sam begged you to come to the studio and listen to their newest album. He claimed the finishing touches had been done except for one final song, but that he was finally ready for you to hear it. The ramifications of the problem didn’t hit you until you stepped foot into the studio and both of their eyes set upon you.

Honestly, you had mainly forgotten about it to the best of your ability. Shoving it to the furthest, darkest corner of your brain only worked momentarily until you locked eyes with Josh. A large smile broke across his face, dimples sinking into his chiseled cheeks, the tiniest, miniscule of a gap showcased only when he smiled like this was out. Your heart race increased tenfold.

Not able to maintain eye contact, your head swiveled to see the other twin pull you into a side embrace, leading you out to sit in a chair and truly take in the magic he was about to play for you. Once you sat in your designated chair, your eyes scanned the room for Sam, but almost instinctively found Danny.

Cleaning up his area of the studio, grabbing his belongings, and turning around, his laser focused gaze fell to you. Neither of you made a move to smile, breath catching in your throat, not daring to blink first, only feeling the intensity of the stare. To break it, you offered a small wave. A total dork move, but it was all you had. It did the trick. He broke out into a large grin, waving back as his cheeks tinted ever so slightly.

Snapping your attention back to the sound board, Sam began playing it in the proposed order that he and Jake fought over for months, according to the elder brother. Sitting and listening as intently as possible, you could see how proud they truly were of this album. Their newest baby to the bunch.

A beaming smile broke across your face as the music came to an end. “It’s amazing, guys. Really, like holy shit. I’m literally buzzing. Look, my hand is shaking!” They fell into laughter and conversation about your deeper thoughts, the messages they were trying to send, if you had even gotten them to begin with.

Out of the corner of your eye, you watched as Josh approached you, hands stuffed into his pockets, a tint creeping upon the apples of his cheeks, head downcast as his brothers all filed out of the room. “Hey, belly,” you bit back a laugh at how incredibly nervous he seemed to be by just trying to talk to you.

“Hey, Josh.” He took the seat that his twin had just been in, leaning onto his knees and staring at you. His wide eyes glistened in the lower light of the studio. You found yourself getting lost in them, the endless swirls of deep chocolate and honey hues colliding together, solely focused on what was in front of him. You.

He cleared his throat, nearly tripping over his words as he played with his hands, clearly nervous to even be bringing this up to you. “So-so, I was won-wondering if maybe I can take you out this week? Like dinner, activity, whatever you want,” his hopefulness seeped into every word. You chuckled at him, leaning back in your chair and made a show of thinking it over.

“Activity, huh? What kind of activity we talking about?” He could easily tell you were poking fun at him, rolling his eyes, the tension he held in his shoulders dissipating as you spoke. His own laughter fell into his response. “Laying it all out there I was hoping to get you home and do some adult activities, but only after mini golf.”

Your head tipped back a cackle shaking your throat, eyes closed as you tried to catch your breath. “I appreciate the honesty. How about we start with the mini golf and see where the night goes?” He feigned a scoff, acting insulted that you would shut him down so blatantly. “Well, if that’s all I’m gonna get, then I guess.”

His hands reached forward, taking yours into his, and rubbed his thumb soothingly along the backs of your hands. Your giggles slowly subsided as his touch grounded you back down. “Friday at eight?” You said through the biggest smile you had mustered up all week. A true, genuine, heartfelt grin that only Josh could bring out. One that was only ever accompanied by the stomach aching laughter he induced.

Eagerly nodding, he leaned ever so slightly forward, lips dusting across your cheek. You didn’t miss the quiver of his lips that he silently prayed you didn’t notice. The way his soft mustache tickled the smooth skin as it made contact. How incredibly warm his lips were as they met you, leaving a searing memory in its wake.

Giving your hands a slight squeeze, you finally felt like you could catch your breath as he separated from you. Instantly missing the comfort his touch offered you. Friday at eight. Two days to prep.

It wasn’t enough.

As you finished getting dressed, you stared at your reflection in the mirror, entirely flabbergasted that you were about to go out on a date. With Josh. Actually going out on an adult date with Josh. The more you dwelled on it, the more the tremor in your hands became a full fledged shake. Nearly jumping out of your skin as a knock on your door echoed through your apartment.

Trembling hands attempting to fix the slightly smeared lipstick as you called out to him that you’d be there in a second. Rushing over to the door when deciding that your look was about as good as it was going to get, you pulled the door open.

His cheeks had to ache, you thought to yourself. Constantly being pulled so tightly with how large of a smile was almost always on his face. It never seemed to phase or bug him at all. It was like that was where it was meant to be. How he was permanently supposed to look.

When your actual name fell from his lips, you felt your stomach flip on itself, feeling the shake leave your hands but find home in your knees instead. “You-just yeah, wow, okay.” He couldn’t seem to settle on the correct verbage to truly describe how amazing you looked. His brain was running on hyperspeed, but his mouth could never seem to catch up. Instead, he fumbled over his words, feeling his temperature continuously rise the more he fucked up.

“I’m going to take that as a good sign,” you breathed out with a laugh. Only able to nod, curled due bobbing with him, you took his outstretched hand and let him lead you to whatever he had in store for the night.

You had thought about this more often than you would have liked to admit. What it would be like going on a date with Josh. Sitting on your bedroom floor, mindlessly thinking about what it would even look like. It was nearly unbelievable that you were sat out at an incredibly nice restaurant with him, trying to stifle your uncontrollable howls as he told you story after story about their tour.

Being slightly tipsy from the cocktails that never seemed to be fully empty before a new one was placed on the table, you were sure you had nearly drunk their entire drink menu. The food was some of the best you had ever had, candlelight filled the table space, the rest of the venue almost entirely dark, really playing into the romantic feel.

Stomach aching from too many drinks to count and never ending giggles, you were on cloud nine. This was what you had been missing. What you had been craving since you were a lovesick teenager.

Josh.

“Well, Joshua, you have wined and dined me quite well. Is the evening coming to a close or is there something else on our agenda?” He slipped his credit card in the billfold that had been placed on the table by the waiter, not even bothering to peek at the check, eyebrows wiggling suggestively at you. “How’s that competitive streak in you feeling?”

Eyebrows raising at his question, tongue poking into your cheek, you were trying to bite back your growing smirk. “Ready to kick your ass at whatever you throw my way.” Perhaps the liquid luck you had been chugging all evening was making you bolder than normal. Maybe it was just the comfort of being with someone you had known your entire life. Either way, all you wanted to do was continue the night, not nearly ready for it to come to a close just yet.

He read your mind. In the way only Josh could. Knowing what you wanted before you even knew. It’s why he was leaned against the pinball machine as your score continuously climbed, trying to play off that he was irritated with the way you demolished his previous score. He couldn’t be annoyed with you.

It was physically impossible in Josh’s mind. Honestly, since you had entered his life as a young child, he had never been annoyed with your presence. There was something about you that had him clinging to you. Never wanting to separate, but always terrified to try and take the next step towards something more. Josh liked to pretend he was a confident person. In truth, he wasn’t at all. You all knew this about him, it was one of the traits you adored.

That even as he grew up, morphing into this stage presence that was a force to be reckoned with, he still remained the humble and shy Josh you had known your whole life. Still scared to look in your eyes for longer than absolutely necessary. Shaky hands battling about grabbing your palm into his. Playing every scenario before it happened.

Safety.

Yet on nights like this, it was like it always was. Drunk at a local arcade, faces flushed, out of breath as you played every game you could to try and beat the other. Flashbacks to your time in your home town at the rundown arcade that you all frequented because there really wasn’t much else to do around there.

As you all grew older, underage drinking to make the night more fun was a right of passage. Sneaking liquor from anyone's parents' cabinets to make the evening more interesting. Now that you were well past the legal drinking age, things still hadn’t changed.

You were still standing at the skeeball game, dexterity way off as Josh hustled to throw as many balls as he possibly could to beat you. Even as off as you were, you were still beating him by hundreds. When his eyes skirted over to glimpse at your astronomical score, he scoffed.

Snatching every ball from your hands despite your minimal effort to keep hold of them, he grabbed all of his as well, climbing up the small runway to get better access to the holes, dropping all of the balls into the highest score.

“Cheater! Fre-freaking cheater!” Josh climbed down as one of the employees yelled across the floor for him to get down from the game, shrugging with an all knowing smirk as the tickets cascaded out from the machine, hands on his hips. “Don’t be je-jealous that you didn’t think of it first.”

Overtly rolling your eyes, you watched as the tickets continued coming, pouting slightly. “I don’t need to cheat to beat you. I’m pure raw talent, babes.” As you spoke, his gaze never left you, entirely enamored with your aura that naturally radiated when you were full of pure joy. It was like it encompassed you and all around you, touching and grazing those surrounding you.

His hands mindlessly touched his mala beads, trying to ground him back to reality. Blinking rapidly as your eyes fell to him, contentedness flowed from your head to your toes, instantly relaxing and feeling the rigidity of your nervous system release.

“Would you-do you want to get out of here?” His eyes had narrowed ever so slightly, noticing the miniscule shift of his pupils widening, hands leaving his pockets and offering you one. Swallowing thickly, you nodded, never having felt so sure of a decision in your life.

The second you were back at Josh’s house, he wasn’t in a rush. He took his time walking around his home, flicking lights on as he went. You trailed him like a lost dog, not sure where he wanted you or what was really happening.

When he finally turned around, facing you, a lazy smirk graced his lips. “Alright, gorgeous. Come here,” you instantly traveled to him. Your hands rested on his waist, right above his pants, the warmth from his stomach sweltering against your hands.

His hands caressed your cheeks, meeting you halfway as his plush lips pushed on yours. It was slow, sensual, deep. His hands moved further up, having your strands of hair flow between his knuckles. Yet, he didn’t tug or pull, barely offering a light massage to your scalp.

Eyes fluttering at the movement, it felt heavenly as his nails scratched along your scalp. Never breaking the kiss, your tongue explored every crevice of his parted mouth. Wanting to commit every inch of him to memory.

Your hands bunched his shirt, hands making small fists as you did. As your breathing grew shallower, he pulled back much to your dismay. Josh removed his hands from your hair, taking your hand in his and silently leading you towards his room down the hallway.

The candles he had lit when you arrived home were burning, flickering against the darkness that drenched the room. Josh sat on his bed, hooded eyes peering up at your figure that towered over him in the moment.

It was a silent question, asking if you wanted to continue on with this. Your hands enclosed around his, leading them to the hem of your dress. He took the invitation, removing it from you and gawking at what stood before him entirely nude.

No undergarments were worn tonight, much to the shock of Josh. His mouth was gaping like a fish, eyes blown wide. Wider than his normal astronomical size. His erection straining against the tightness of his pants.

His cold hands found the dip in your waist, tugging you towards him. Pressing gentle, featherlight kisses to your rib cage, dancing dangerously close to the underside of your breast.

Your head fell back, hands tangling into the lush hair at the nape of his neck, his lips finally reaching where you were on the verge of begging him to get to.

Moistened lips brushed over your hardened nipples, eliciting a strong gasp from you. Desperate for anything he would give you, just wanting to be touched. With your eyes still squeezed shut, his mouth enclosed around your nipple, sucking it in between his teeth.

A choked moan echoed out into the room, fingers tightening around the hair you had in your grasp. Josh’s hand roamed your body, starting at your waist, but quickly trailing further.

Fingertips brushed against your mound, your hips bucking at the motion. Eyes opening and giving him a pleading look, he quickly dipped his fingers between your soaked lips.

His own eyes fell shut when he felt the arousal that coated your pussy, making a sticky mess of his hand. He didn’t give a single damn, it was the sexiest thing he had ever felt in his life.

Still suckling at your breast, every so often switching between tits, his fingers made steady work of your clit. Rubbing tight circles on the nub, your hips jerking to meet his movements.

Your breathy moans were continuously falling from your lips, fingernails digging into the taut muscle of his shoulders. No words were uttered between you two as you reached your first finish of the evening.

Knees nearly giving out beneath you, he rode you threw it before gently leading you to the mattress. You laid flat, instantly letting your legs fall open, displaying yourself for him to admire.

Admire he did. Awestruck at the gorgeous women, patiently waiting for his next move, whatever he wanted or needed to do. Watching every move he made, he undressed for you. Not making a show of the action, but knowing that you were intently observing him.

As his boxer briefs came down, your lips were slightly parted. You didn’t even care that you were so blatantly staring at him because all you could think about was how desperately you wanted him in you.

Josh nodded at you, his own hand wrapping around his length. “Touch yourself.” You stuck two fingers into your mouth, wetting them before trailing them down your body, setting onto your sensitive clit.

Your free hand kneaded at your breast, pinching your nipple between your fingers. Josh stroked himself, eyes wild with lust as he groaned, watching your fingers sink into your slit.

“Josh, I ne-need,” you were stumbling over your words, not able to form an actual sentence. He encouraged you to continue, the sounds of his movements amplified. “What do you need, pretty girl? Hmm, what do you need?”

It was genuine, him asking. Your eyes opened, taking in the godly sight of his naked frame, stroking himself, watching you in this erotic position.

“Fuck me. Please,” you didn’t have a millisecond to prepare because he was on you. Eyes on his cock, tip swollen and glistening with precum, he breached your entrance. Your stiffened body went lax, fully resting back on the mattress as he sank inch by inch.

When he reached the base, his body spasmed. Feeling like you were choking on air, Josh started his pace, trying to get his bearings. You had no idea how long he had been fucking you, but at some point it came to an end.

No recollection of the finish for either of you, you could feel the remnants of your orgasm in your muscles. As Josh pulled you into his embrace, you fell asleep far too fast, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care that the sheets were near soaking wet.

You were left shell shocked. The entire experience had rattled you to your core. It was meeting an entirely different person and version of Josh. An intimate sector that was only reserved for an incredibly select few that he deemed worthy enough of meeting. It was a being you would never tire of encountering. You wanted to remain in his embrace for as long as possible.

Instead, your meet and greet was cut short when his phone rang. Duty calls and as you clambered out of his bed, redressed, and let him tug you into a gentle reminder of what had happened the night before, you trekked home.

Literally walking on air. That was how you could describe the following days. A changed woman after the memorable first date with Josh. One that you would cherish for the rest of your life. Having him treat you like an absolute goddess, worshiping you like you could alter the course of the universe if you truly wanted to.

It was empowering.

Daily texts and calls from him riddled your phone, igniting a fire in your belly whenever he would pop up on your screen. Letting you know that he was thinking of you. That you were truly all he could think about. Having hexed him in some way to not let his thoughts alter to anything other than you. It was driving him wild. He needed more.

You wanted more. Craved more. But he would have to wait just a bit longer. Because Danny was standing in your doorway, capturing any and all breath from your lungs as you peered up at him, taking in the sheer size of the man. He entirely dwarfed the door.

Intimidating.

The bowl of grapes in your hand became loose, nearly letting the porcelain fall to the floor. You had no idea how long you two stood there, taking one another in before you snapped to your senses and began scuttering about.

“Hi-hi! I’m sorry, come in come in. Let me just-” you went to set the bowl down, but turned on your heel and faced the boy, “Do you want some grapes? They’re the cotton candy ones from Trader Joes.” He was fighting a smirk, observing how flustered and nervous you were in his presence.

Shaking his head, perfect curls moving with him, his eyes never left your figure as it waltzed around the room. Obviously avoiding close contact with him. “No, I’m good. Thank you though.” You had already put the grapes back in the fridge before he could even respond, simply trying to busy yourself.

After organizing the stack of mail on the counter in front of you, your eyes finally met his again and beamed a nervous smile. “What can I do you for?” It was adorable how jittery you were. Watching as the slight shake in your hands was nearly masked by the continuous movement, but he caught it.

Leaning on the counter, both of his incredibly large hands holding onto the other forearm, you could smell the coconut of his curling cream, the dizzying musk of his cologne. It had you unbelievably flustered. “I’m taking you out.”

Only able to blink back at him, a blank expression decorating your face, you didn’t know how to respond. “Is this your way of asking me?” You finally choked out, a small laugh following.

Nodding and standing back up to his full height, your eyes followed him. “Yes. Friday or Saturday? You get that choice.” He winked at you, clearly teasing, but it had you biting your cheek. Wanting to give a smart ass response, you swallowed it down.

Speaking through mainly gritted teeth, your eyes met his. “Saturday night works,” he instantly turned and walked back to your front door, leaving it at that. You called out after him, jaw nearly hitting the floor as he opened your front door, halfway out.

“This could’ve been a text!” He leaned back in, not turning to face you, but looked upon you like you were certified crazy. “And miss seeing my girl? Absolutely not. Saturday at nine, I’ll pick you up.”

My girl.

The words sat heavy on you for the remainder of the week until the day had arrived. Keeping the facts to yourself about seemingly dating both of them at the same time, you stared at the pile of clothes on your bed.

You had texted Danny and asked him what the attire of the night was. Honestly, you had been slightly underdressed for Josh’s evening out and you didn’t want a repeat of that. All he had responded with was casual.

What the hell? It was so vague. Offering no sense of direction whatsoever. You knew Danny’s usual garb shifted from muscle tanks and skinny jeans to looking like he had just stepped out of a 1980’s romcom, sweater and light wash jeans adorned.

It was a tossup. So, you went with what you knew. Casual, comfortable, what you tend to wear on a daily basis. You hit the nail on the head because when you opened the door for Danny, he stood there with a combination of his attire.

Dark wash skin tight jeans, a sweater, vintage sneakers, and sunglasses perched atop his head despite the late hour. His hair styled absolutely perfect. A light smudge of eyeliner. A rockstar stood before you ready to take you out on a date.

Anxious.

“C’mon pretty girl, we have a reservation to make.” He offered his arm to you which you gladly took to steady yourself on jello legs, but you grabbed on to solid muscle. Muscle that had never been there before and you weren’t expecting to be there hidden beneath the bulky contents of his sweater.

Your widened eyes peered up at him, unable to stop the words before they left your mouth. “Since when are you so-so ripped?” His piercing gaze smoldered through your own. “All I do is work out my arms every single day for hours on end.”

Forcing yourself to remain cool and like those simple words hadn’t nearly turned you to absolute mush, you knew your next move would set the course for the night. Shrugging, you looked away towards the elevator doors that were bound to open any second. “I liked it better when you were scrawny.” The doors opened as you finished, letting his arm go and stepping into the elevator, looking at him with a disinterested, unimpressed look.

He shook his head as he followed you in, a shocked laugh falling from his lips as he stood directly next to you, arm brushing your own. “Oh, belly. Same snarky attitude as always, huh?”

Danny was a dirty dirty liar. This place absolutely did not need a reservation. There wasn’t even a host. It was a seat yourself establishment, if you could call it that, which left peanut shells sticking to the bottoms of your shoes as you walked towards a high top table with your date.

Being the true gentleman he is, he pulled the metal chair out, the screech hardly being heard over the loud music bouncing off the walls. The place was jammed, you were honestly surprised there was even a table open. He handed you the menu which had already been waiting on the table, and pointed at his suggestion.

“We’re going to get two of those. They’re the best burger you’ll ever have in your life. They make their own potato chips in house or you can get their curly fries-” he spoke so easily, eyeing the singular menu as he spoke, leaning in unbearably close to you, “Oh, Sheryl!” The older waitress rolled her eyes at the source of the yell.

She walked over to the table, slapping down her notepad and squeezing Danny’s hand. “Was wondering when I’d see this troublemaker again. Hi, honey. A pitcher and two phat jack burgers?” Danny confirmed, looking over to you and seeing the smirk forming on your lips as you side eyed him.

When she asked about the side, his eyes didn’t leave yours, eyebrows raising in question, silently asking you what you wanted. The smile continued to grow on your face as you gave a small shrug, hands coming up in silent surrender. Danny turned back to the waitress who you now knew was Sheryl and said one curly fries one chips.

As she left, he leaned back in his chair and gave a bright smile. “That way you can try both.” Your smile couldn’t leave your face as you moved closer to the table and chuckled. “Very considerate of you.”

A comfortable silence fell over you both as you took in the pub he had taken you to. It was very dim, the only lighting really came from the hundreds of Christmas lights that adorned the scaffolding and were stapled to the walls. Peanut shells littered the floor, not allowing any of the actual flooring to be visible. The walls held many posters of every genre of music you could think of, movies from each decade, photos of random strangers who would take the time to paste up their own memory. There were many tables, some high tops, others actual low tables that could seat as few as one to as many as an entourage. An actual bar sat against the middle wall that was packed with people. Music carried through the building.

Sheryl snapped you back to the moment when she slapped down a large pitcher of beer, two chilled mugs, and a bucket of peanuts. She didn’t utter another word as she turned and went towards another table that called out for her attention.

“Okay, what do you think?” Danny asked as he poured the honey colored liquid into the glasses, sliding one in your direction before grabbing a handful of peanuts and unshelling them. You followed his motions, trying to eye him as discreetly as you could. “It’s nice.” He rolled his eyes as he took a swig, slamming the mug onto the table.

“You gotta give me more than that! Really, what’s your first impression?” You giggled as you popped a couple peanuts in your mouth, drinking from your ice cold glass and took just a moment to truly look.

The multicolored lights highlighted his black locks. Beaming since you had entered and taking a table so easily, you knew he frequented here often. His entire vibe was as relaxed as possible. Not feeling the need to do too much. They even knew him by name and his exact order. He almost faded into the background of the restaurant. Like this place was built for him.

“It’s…you.” Your hands were wrapped around your mug, feeling the chill of the glass burn into your hands. His eyes didn’t part from yours for just a beat too long, cheeks tinting just lightly at your words. Knowing they were a compliment. Watching as his eyes fell down towards the table, his face contorted.

Matching where his eyes now rested, you watched as his hand reached out and swiped the peanut shells off the table and onto the floor. “I brought you here to my place, now act like you belong for god's sake.” Your mouth fell open at his joking tone, laughter shaking your body at him. “Hey!”

He chugged from his glass, eyes glittering with something you couldn’t quite place. It remained that way the rest of the night. You haven't the faintest idea how much beer you had drunk with Danny, but it was the best beer you had ever had. When Sheryl had come back and placed down the biggest burger you had ever seen in your life, Danny nodded enthusiastically at your reaction.

Between the chortling that left your sides aching from stories shared, feeling like you were literally going to explode from the amount you had eaten, and the light buzz from the beer, it was a fantastic night. All nerves had dissipated the moment things had shifted. To where you felt like you were sitting in the garage with Danny again. Going back to the roots of your friendship.

Danny.

“You better finish it! C’mon that’s like two more bites max. Finish it, they don’t have to-go boxes.” He was cackling between his words, mouth stuffed with food as he pointed to your plate. Groaning but following his orders, you stuffed the last of the burger into your mouth despite every urge telling you to spit it out.

When you swallowed, with the help of another mouthful of beer, Danny cheered. His arms shot up, napkin in hand being thrown before they came back down and beat on the table in celebration, whooping and cheering. Collapsing back in your chair, your hands cradled your too full stomach.

Sheryl came over as you giggled, Danny about to talk again, but halted his sentence as she spoke. “Well, I was going to offer a to-go box, but looks like you were able to get it all down.” She grabbed the now empty plate from in front of you as you shot daggers at your date.

“You fucking liar!” Not able to keep your serious face, a massive grin broke out as he laughed his ass off. Music to your ears. Having been deprived of it for too long, chershing the sound as it washed over you in waves. Danny left cash on the table, hopping down from his seat, not missing a beat as he took your hand in his and quickly led you out.

The cool evening air squashed the rising temperature your body had endured from the hot stifled air of the bar. Your eyes drifted shut, taking in a deep breath, still being dragged by the tall boy. Your fingers laced together with his, beginning to walk around the vibrant downtown night scene you had never seen before.

“Where are we?” You finally asked, looking around and trying to get your bearings. He took in a deep breath, a small smile breaking across his face. Prideful of the little piece of a haven he had scouted. “We are in a town a bit over from where we call home. I refuse to share the name because it is my spot and I don’t need you going home and blasting it around to everyone.”

Tilting your chin down and halting in your spot, your eyes narrowed. “You know that all I have to do is check the weather on my phone and it’ll give me the exact location.” Danny scooted closer to you, bending over, coming nose to nose with you. “Ah, but I know you wouldn’t do that. Not my belly girl.”

It took every ounce of strength you had to turn away from him, his lips having been millimeters from your own. It would’ve been so easy to just hardly lean forward and capture your own with his. Danny wanted to more than anything, but couldn’t fight off the smile that broke across his face as you quickly turned and continued walking, leaving him as still as a statue.

Turning when you realized he hadn’t moved, your face looked at him expectantly. “Well, come on! Show me around,” you rolled your eyes, a smile hidden on your lips as Danny slowly walked over to you. His arm circled around your waist, tugging you into his side as he continued walking you around the vibrant downtown.

As the night dwindled down, Danny’s car sat in the twenty minute guest parking spot in front of your building as he walked you back to your home. Both of you tried to keep your clearly tipsy giggles on a lower volume given the incredibly late hour for the decency of your neighbors. When you stood in front of your door, your lazy smile greeted Danny as your neck lightly tipped back to truly keep eye contact.

The hand that held yours ever so slightly squeezed your warm hand, your free one made the journey from your side to the back of Danny’s neck. Landing on the smooth skin, under the thick locks, you brought him down to meet you for the first time. The second his lips brushed against your own, you felt the air get zapped from your lungs.

A gasp emitted from you as his arms circled around your waist, pulling you towards him as the kiss grew deeper, needy. Back arching into his firm torso, both arms now wrapped around his neck, wanting him as close as possible. When you parted, both breathing heavy, pupils blown out, your hands cradled his face. Pushing the locks from his porcelain skin, features sharper than ever, the tremble in your hands was nonexistent.

“Do you-do you wanna come in?” It was spoken so softly that it passed from your lips directly into his. Instead of a vocal response, he closed the gap between you both again. The sloppy kiss had you gasping for air as your front door flew open, Danny shoving you against the wall, lips attacking your neck.

Hardly able to catch your breath, you spoke through pants. “Dan-Danny. Ca-car. Your car,” he only hummed, bringing his mouth back to yours and effectively shut you up. “Twenty minute parking,” you mumbled against him.

Shaking his head, his larger hands threaded through your locks, tugging your head back with a low moan emitting from you. “Let them fucking tow it,” his hands moved to land under your thighs, squeezing the supple flesh, giving you your next move.

As you hopped, he caught you with ease. Your hands clawed at his sweater, removing it as quickly as you could. He didn’t even try to make it to your room, instead landing you on the couch. Not parting, he leaned down with you, only momentarily breaking to get you both fully undressed.

It was a mess of limbs and skin, teeth biting any flesh they could sink into, not wanting to wait another minute. He practically impaled you on his cock, knocking the wind from you. Holding onto his shoulders, he set a punishing pace.

You were on the verge of screaming into the room, not giving a damn about your neighbors. His thrusts so deep and hard that your couch was shifting with every move he made. In no time at all, your couch hit the wall, thumping into it as he continued on.

His thumb pushed down on your clit, a bead of spit falling from his lips to the nub, causing you to gutturally moan at the sight. The coil in your stomach snapped with no warning, no massive build up, it just happened.

Blinding you, you felt a rush of liquid leave your cunt, Danny almost, almost, stopping at the sight. “Holy fuck you just-,” you couldn’t even begin to form an understanding of what he was trying to say.

He pulled out of you seconds later, releasing over your bare chest, stroking himself through his finish. Your eyes connected with his, your finger dipping into the seed and lifting it to your mouth. Danny moaned, grabbing you by the back of the neck and smashing his lips to yours in a greedy, possessive meeting.

Catching your breath, your legs wobbled, entirely unsteady as he led you to your room. Sparing a glance back to the couch, you saw the monstrous wet spot that you left in your wake.

He had made you squirt. You didn’t even know you could do that. His eyes followed where yours laid and tugged your arm to get your attention back to him. “Think you can do it again?” Determination set on his beautiful face.

What is the next step in life when your dreams come true? No, really. What the hell are you actually supposed to do? Both of these men who you had fawned over, dreamed over, ached over had displayed themselves to you in ways you couldn’t even imagine. Your heart was bleeding from the amount of emotion it had taken in just a few weeks' span. At insanely different points in your life you had really dreamt of what your world and life would be like if you were involved with them. Now that you actually were, you had no idea what to do.

Possibilities of extremely varying degrees laid before you with whatever choice you were destined to make. Right now, though, you weren’t having to make that choice. No, right now you were able to enjoy them both and see what they were going to be for you. The split road and its calling decision would come later. Just not now.

Because right now you were tangled in Josh’s sheets that smelled like patchouli and lavender, his warm hands trailing along the bare skin that writhed beneath him after another night spent together. The calm, content smile that permanently seemed to be stitched to your face around Josh, greeted him as he finally approached you after traveling the expanse of your body.

“Hello gorgeous,” he mumbled as he connected to your lips, facial hair tickling you as he did. Your hands left the tangled sheets, getting lost in his extremely messy hair, pulling him closer to you as you did. “Mmm, hi,” it was breathless and tired, having just woken up minutes ago.

His rosy cheeks were full from the large grin on his face. Laying himself on top of you, it was like a weighted blanket encompassing you. Lips landed on your chest, arms, shoulder, neck, jaw, anywhere he could reach. “You’re so beautiful, you know that, belly?” Heat rose at his words, your hands cradling his jaw as his eyes bore into yours.

“Take me to breakfast,” you murmured as you kissed his cheek. His body shook with laughter, propelling himself up from the bed, nude body on full display as he walked to the restroom. When he emerged fully dressed, hair not even slightly tamed, he watched as you dressed yourself.

Two arms closed around you from behind, lips chillingly close to your ear as he all but moaned into it. “Or how about I go make a piece of toast, you get back into that bed, and we carry over last night's activities into today. Hmm, how does that sound, pretty mama?” You almost gave in, weighing the option given to you, but you rolled your eyes at the pet name, shrugging his arms off of you.

“Nearly had me there up until the Elvis impersonation.” His hands landed on his hips, staring at you with a puzzled look. One thumb brushed his full bottom lip, entirely too confused at your reaction. “Really? That doesn’t work for you? Typically girls are falling over themselves when I say that.”

Narrowing your eyes to slits, pointing a shoe in his direction, you spoke with a cautionary tone for him. “Watch yourself, pretty boy. Skating on thin ice,” his eyes lit up at your words, a realization dawning on him at your reaction.

Tsking, you watched his demeanor shift, waking something up deep in your lower belly. “Ah, that’s what it is,” his voice had gone down an octave, approaching you, one hand gently cupping your cheek as he peered at you, a slight pout perched on his lips.

“Pretty girl gets jealous,” when you went to object to such a ridiculous claim, his hand firmed up, tilting your head to the side, effectively shutting you up. His lips attached to your neck, biting an already tender spot from the night before. When you gasped, his tongue pressed against the spot, doing his best to offer a remedy to the wonderful pain.

His lips crested the shell of your ear as he spoke again, your eyes fluttering shut. “Okay baby, I’m so sorry. Let me show you that you’re my only girl, yeah?” Nodding at his words, you felt his smirk grow. One side tilted up, the cockiest motherfucker you had ever laid eyes upon stood before you.

Josh’s hands left you, taking a step back and removing his string of mala beads. He raised his eyebrows expectantly at your hands, “Prayer formation.” Confusion etched across your face, but did as he said.

He wrapped the long thread of beads around your hands, trapping them in place. He moved swiftly, taking the easy garments off your body. As you stood bare before him, he nudged you towards the unmade bed.

Gingerly laying down, his hands trailed from your ankles to your thighs, parting your legs for him. He sighed, a near breath of relief at the vision before him. “You’re going to say my gratitude meditation script while I make you cum. The second you mess it up, you start over.”

Eyes widening at him, he tossed his notebook over to you, page opened to the lines you needed to recite. The twelve lines appeared easy enough, able to be seen if you turned your head fully over to peer at them.

“Begin.” Josh commanded. You started, but stuttered as his tongue flattened on your mound. Pulling back, he slapped your thigh, making you look back at him. “Start over.”

That was how you spent the remainder of your morning with him. Heaven.

Guilt is a horrible thing to grapple with. It can consume you, take over every waking and sleep ridden thought you have. Ruining lives, really. It was what guilt did. That was its entire thing. So, why didn’t you feel even an ounce of guilt as another orgasm took over your body, contracting every muscle in your body from head to toe, brought on by another man?

Danny’s incredibly disrupted curls brushed against the softness of your inner thigh. Another earth shattering finish had you gasping for air. When you finally had the miniscule amount of energy to let your eyes look down and meet his, they were fogged over, hooded as he observed you like his fucking prey. They were dark, so dark. Darker than you had ever seen before.

Looking at you through his long lashes had a chill running down your spine as he pulled himself up despite wanting to live between your legs for the rest of his life. His calloused hands were rough as they went from massaging the supple flesh along your frame to enclosing around a lock of hair and pulling harshly, forcing you to sit up and meet him.

“Open,” you immediately did as he said. Jaw falling slack, his fingers pinched the end of your tongue, pulling it out to fully extend from your mouth. His own lips parted, a string of spit departed from his mouth landing soundly on your tongue. A choked moan echoed from your throat as you tasted the mixture of your own release and him cascading down your throat.

Roughly landing his mouth on yours, he released a groan that rumbled in his chest. “Good girl,” you preened at the words. Your limp body collapsed back onto the mattress, feeling how quickly your eyes drooped. His warmth didn’t join you right away.

Honestly, you weren’t sure how long he had been gone, teetering on the brink of unconsciousness, but you felt your body get pulled up. A strong, firm body slid behind you, letting you rest fully against his torso. When you felt something warm at your lips, you groaned, trying to get away from it, but he wasn’t having it.

“Uh uh. Drink it,” his words vibrated his chest, pressed against your back. Giving in, you let the mystery liquid trickle into your mouth. A heavy sigh followed as the hot chocolate danced across your taste buds. “I know you’re too tired to eat, so this’ll have to do for now until I can get some food in you, baby.”

Nodding in agreement, you downed the scalding drink far too quickly. Turning in his arms and forcing him to lay down, you rested your head on his chest. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat grew more distant the more you fell into the grasp of sleep.

As Danny’s arms tightened around you, hands trailing across the naked skin, your thoughts were riddled with how incredibly perfect this was. Everything you had ever thought of couldn’t even begin to compare to the truth of how this was. Exceeding any and all expectations that had ever been set by you.

You just hoped this wouldn’t come crashing down too quickly.

One thing you loved about Josh’s home was that it truly looked like it belonged in Architectural Digest. The exposed wood that covered the cabinesque style home from inside out, the nature scape that adorned the property line, the perfectly styled interior. It was almost scary to touch anything, but it yelled Josh.

Sitting on his couch that was probably worth what you made in a year, leaning into his side as you giggled about watching another Wes Anderson flick after seeing two already, Josh’s hand covered your eyes. He snickered beside you as he secretly picked the next film to watch.

“Okay. Put in your guess now. Which one did I pick?” Thinking about the two you had already seen tonight, you thought long and hard, eyelashes fluttering against his palm, positively tickling him. “Final guess going in…Isle of Dogs.” You said it as sure as you could despite knowing the chance was slim.

He scoffed, pulling his hand away and seeing the opening scenescape for Isle of Dogs. “Cheater! You saw,” you pinched his side, hand shifting under the blanket as you did. He giggled, ruffling your hair, tugging you to lay back down in his embrace.

Your hand wandered aimlessly under the blanket, cupping his semi-hard cock over his sweats. His body tensed as you lightly moved your hand, wanting to wake him up. “Belly.” It was spoken as a warning.

Not responding to it, you continued your residual movements. It didn’t take long for him to become achingly hard underneath your palm. Taking it as your invitation, your hand slipped under the band of his pants, meeting the soft skin of him.

Starting slow strokes, you just wanted to feel him in your hand. His head began leaking his arousal, your eyes finally departing the screen to see him struggling to hold his attention to the movie. He met your look and you offered an innocent smile.

You kept that up for just a few minutes more before you decided to stop teasing. Shifting to lay on your stomach, directly between his legs, his dick met your gaze.

Josh could only watch as you welcomed him into the warm, wet embrace of your mouth. Taking him quickly, his tip scraped the back of your throat. He choked on a moan, head tipping back.

Hands grabbed at your hair, keeping it out of the way of your work. As you bobbed, hands working what your mouth couldn’t fully reach, your other cradled his balls.

They tightened, his muttering moans and pleas coming to a halt as he released in your mouth. His cock twitched in your mouth, swallowing his entire release. Popping off of him when you knew he had been milked for all he was worth, you beamed at him.

“Bell-belly,” his words were spoken in a singular breath. Trying to catch it after a powerful orgasm, cheeks crimson red, he pulled you back up to reach him. His hungry lips devoured yours, not caring that teeth were hitting teeth, trembling hands trying to keep you as close as possible.

Shaky intakes of breath, clouded mind, he didn’t care. He had to tell you. Right then and there. “Belly, I love you. Fuck, I’m so in love with you.” When you pulled back to see him, observing the rapid rising and falling of his chest, eyes glossy with pupils blown wide.

“Wha-what?” Hands rubbing your cheeks and neck, shaking his head slightly, he swallowed thickly before talking again. “I love you. I’ve been in love with you for-for so long. We’re so good together, honey. We work! I need you. I want you to be mine and only mine. You-you’re perfect, belly. I have to have you. I love you.” The entirety of his speech, he sounded like he was on the verge of tears.

Adams apple bobbing as he tried to contain his emotions. Raw and near the edge of a breakdown, you didn’t know how to respond. It wasn’t time, not yet. Your hands gripped his wrists, hands still holding your head in place, resting his forehead against yours. “Jo-Josh, you-I can-I need more time. Give me just-just a couple days to get every-everything sorted, yeah?”

Pleading, you were begging him. He could hear it by the wavering tone in your voice. The ball lounged deep in your throat that you were fighting further down. Hands leaving his wrists, your own cupped his cheeks. Thumbs rubbing against the smooth, warm skin. “Pl-please?” Leaning in, you captured his lips.

At first, they didn’t respond, but as you felt the sheer panic bubbling up, his pressed into your own. “Okay.” It was all he said as he broke apart, lips landing on your forehead. Your eyes squeezed shut, trying to fight the inner turmoil surfacing for the first time since this had all started.

You left Josh’s house that night. Unsure of what you were supposed to do. When you came to the stoplight that you only needed to turn right to in order to get to your house, you veered off, turning left and continuing straight down the road.

Danny opened his front door, loungewear on, a surprised, but excited reaction greeting you. “I know I didn’t call, but-” he immediately cut you off, arm wrapping securely around your waist and bringing you to him. Moaning into his mouth, both of your hands held his cheeks as he pulled back, resting his forehead against yours.

“Don’t ever apologize for coming to see me. I missed you,” he pecked your lips again, ushering you into his home. All you needed to do was forget the events from earlier this evening. Not ready to deal with the truth of the situation at hand. It wasn’t time.

You were tipsy, head starting to buzz with a clouded happiness as you danced around Danny’s living room. One of your favorite songs blasted through his speakers. He was resting on his sofa, tender gaze following your every movement as he admired your carefree attitude. Nursing his beer, his eyes darted down to the corner of the coffee table that you were getting too close to.

“Bab-” as he went to warn you, it proved too late. Your shin caught right on the sharp edge, cutting into the flesh, blood instantly trickling down your leg. “Ow!” You yelped, going to grab the wound, but Danny was faster.

His hands grabbed your calve, turning your leg to fully face him, his muscle tank discarded and in a bunch, now pressed firmly against the gushing wound. “Alright, come on you clutz,” he sighed with a chuckle, lifting you bridal style into his arms. Another yelp escaped your throat at the sudden movement. Danny walked into the kitchen, sat you on the counter, turned and grabbed the first aid kit from under the sink.

“Keep that held tight to it,” he instructed as he dug through the box. “It looks worse than it feels. Promise,” you spoke out, lifting the shirt away from the cut to observe the damage. He hummed in response, coming back to where you sat atop his counters. Danny’s features somehow seemed to grow sharper as he fell into concentration.

His curls were held back by a loose ponytail tonight, some face framing pieces that you weren’t entirely sure he meant to have out or not drew your attention. Wrapping the coil around your finger you sighed. “So, you’re a rockstar and a nurse? What can’t you do Mr. Wagner?” He chuckled, eyes quickly looking you over before he shrugged.

“Not much. I do have a favorite thing I like to do, though,” you smiled, feeling the neosporin being spread on the cut. “Oh yeah? What’s that?” He smirked, lightly tapping your chin, kissing the tip of your nose, turning his attention back to his work. “You, baby. All time favorite activity right there.”

Your head fell back, cackling at the cliche. “God that was so lame!” His shoulders shook as he finished up, placing a large bandaid over the cut. After discarding the trash he turned his attention fully back to you.“That was on you. You walked right into it!” His hands rested on either side of your frame, flat palmed on the counter.

“Don’t blame that on me! I’m not the one who said the stupid line,” his eyes darkened as he held eye contact with you. His hands moved from the counter to the tops of your thighs. “Mhm. Did it work though?”

Leaning towards you, nose brushing against yours, stealing the air from your lungs, your eyelashes fluttered. “N-no,” Danny barely nodded, lips ghosting over yours. A whimper escaped you, falling onto his waiting lips. “C’mere.”

Arms encircling around his neck, you crushed him to you. His hands traveled up your thighs, holding firmly to your waist. It was a blur. Somehow moving from the kitchen to his bedroom. Sitting on his lap, naked sticky bodies meshing as one. Rolling your hips over his pelvis, cock rocking deep inside of you at the movement.

Danny’s lips met every inch of skin he could. Hands splayed across your back, holding you to him, his hot tongue went across your shoulder to your neck. A slew of whimpers, moans, and panting filled the room, not even positive who they were coming from.

When your head fell back, he took the opportunity to attack your neck. Trails of sloppy kisses across your throat and collarbones. “Oh-oh fuck. Danny, I’m-” he nodded, forehead resting against your chest, hands going to your hips and helping you pick up speed.

“I know, baby. Come on, cum for me. All over me, cum for me,” your jaw opened, no noise coming from you as blinding heat pummeled you. As your cunt clenched and soaked him, he released in you with a groan. Both of your bodies tensed before becoming boneless against one another. Using each other as support to remain up.

Neither of you went to move, just staying this way for a moment longer. Trying to slow your increased pulse down, let your lungs refill with any air you could get, sweat dripping down the center of your spine. You were entirely unsure where you ended and he began.

Danny refused to let you go. His hands still held you, tight grip slowly releasing as he began rubbing at your tender flesh where his hand prints would be left the next day. Placing kiss after kiss on your lips, your trembling frame came back down.

Staring into his eyes was basically hearing him scream at you. It was him sharing it all with you. Leaving it out in the open for you to pick up and return. Too much. You closed your eyes, feeling the warmth emanate from him.

“Hey,” he mumbled, placing a chaste kiss on your cheek, getting your attention back to him. “Let’s go shower, okay?” You nodded, hearing him chuckle as you didn’t move to climb off of him. His leg bounced under you, forcing your eyes open, a pout taking shape on your lips.

Groaning, your body felt weak, no strength remaining. Too tired to even try and move. “Baby, for us to go shower, you gotta get off,” you went even more limp in his arms. A silent protest. His hand swept the hair from your shoulders, placing a kiss on one of them, then the other. Continuing down both of your arms, each finger. It was an offer of motivation.

It worked. Slinking off of him, you hissed at the sensation of his softened cock slipping from you. You didn’t sleep at Danny’s that night. No, you went home after cleaning up despite the continuous fight from him. As you stood in the steaming shower with him, reality was crashing down.

Your thoughts riddled with Josh. Of the confession and feelings he had poured out to you just hours earlier. How you ran to Danny, who still couldn’t actually tell you how he felt. Josh, who felt things so deeply and profoundly he had no choice but to share them with you. They would eat him alive if he didn’t.

Then there was Danny. Who at the beginning had told you there were some feelings there. Feelings he hadn’t ever leaned into, but that he knew were there. How he was finally starting to see you in the light you had wanted from your first meeting. The looks that Josh showered you in every single time he saw you.

He wasn’t a talky person. You knew that when you stared into his eyes tonight, all of the emotions and feelings he had been tamping down were shouting at you. Letting you know that although he wasn’t saying them, they were there. He just didn’t know how to tell you. Josh did.

Were you imagining those looks? Filling in the gaps of some fantasy you had created to comfort yourself in the possibility of something with him. It was entirely possible. What you did know is that you weren’t imagining them with Josh. You knew that was how he looked at you, spoke to you, shared with you. It was all too much.

In far too deep with these boys in a situation you didn’t even get yourself into. It was something your best friends had done. Did you take it further than you should have? Reaping the rewards of having two incredibly amazing men who wanted you. In one way or another, they wanted you. You weren’t used to it.

That’s why it had been over a week since you had interacted with anyone. Refusing to speak to them, wanting to sort things out on your own. Yet the longer you spent dwelling on it, the more and more upset you became. With both of them for waiting so long to do something about their feelings for you and at yourself. For getting sucked in too deep and not being able to make a decision. A decision that should’ve been easy.

Why couldn’t you fucking decide?

It was the twentieth text from Danny that had your blood boiling so much, you stormed over to his house. Wanting to demand that he leave you alone, give you the space you needed to figure this out. Put an end to it.

His door swung open, eyes fiery and upset as they laid on your figure. Jaw set, he motioned for you to come in. Standing on opposite sides of the room, his hands went up, silently asking you what had happened.

“Haven’t heard from you all week. Josh hasn’t either,” he sniffed, clearly fighting off the anger that was coursing through him. “What’s going on, belly?” You sighed, nerves overtaking your body, sitting on the very edge of his couch.

“I-I’m having to-I have to choose,” you bit out. It should’ve been clear to him what was happening, but he wanted you to explain it to him. He nodded, acting like it was incredibly obvious that it was time. “What-why can’t you choose? We’ve both dealt with you seeing both of us. We’ve given you the space to make up your mind. We cannot continue on this way. It’s killing us,” he was speaking for them both.

You weren’t sure what he had said that set you off, but your eyes narrowed in his direction. Speaking through gritted teeth, your hands balled into fists. “Why can’t I choose?” He remained deadly silent, knowing you were going to explode. “I have been fucking in love with you since I was a child, Danny. Literally from the moment we met. You never even looked at me!”

Voice raising with each word, you were seeing red. “I dreamed of you seeing me like how I so badly wanted. Have you seen the way Josh looks at me?” Going quiet for a beat, you continued before he had the chance to respond, not wanting to hear him talk. “He treats me like I’m his entire fucking world! He’s done that for so long I don’t even know when it started.”

Tears were welling in your eyes, threatening to spill over at the guilt and exasperation coursing through you. “But I wasted so much time on you. Watching you, praying that you would just look at me. Now, I’m in this with both of you and I don’t know what to do. You’re seeing me, but you still can’t fucking tell me how you feel!” You didn’t care how pathetic you sounded, a sob falling from you as you looked at him. You wanted him to know the hurt he had caused you over the years. Whether he had known it was happening or not, you didn’t care.

“So, do not tell me that I need to pick. Because you won’t like the choice I make.” It was spoken with pure honesty. Danny’s eyes shut, the answer seemingly laying right in front of him. It killed him. He held something in his hand, what you weren’t sure of, but he turned from you, throwing it at the wall.

“Fuck!” He yelled, hands landing on top of his head. “I’m sorry, belly. I was a stupid kid that just didn’t know what to do. You’re right. I didn’t treat you like you deserved and I can’t change that. I know I fucked up, I know. I just-I care about you. So much. Just ten years too late, huh?”

Your tears still fell, Danny refusing to look you in the eye as he spoke. “I don’t know.”

You sobbed the entire way home. When you arrived at your front door, there stood a vase filled with your favorite flowers. A large pink bow wrapped around the odd shaped, obviously thrifted vase. Sniffling, you knelt down, picking them up and seeing the hand written card sticking out from the midst of the bundle.

Tears continued their stream down your swollen cheeks, hiccuping on a cry as you read the note.

Darling girl,

I know we’ve put you in an incredibly complicated situation, but I hope you know that it’s been worth it. You’re worth it. I’d do it ten times over if it meant I got to know you in this way that I’ve only dreamed of. I’m here when you’re ready with whatever you decide. I love you.

Forever yours,

Joshua

The note was now stained as your tears poured onto the card. The shame overtaking your body as it slammed into you how much this boy truly loved you. Adored you. Admired you. He was able to show you in ways that you weren’t sure you could ever match.

You didn’t deserve it. He lied in his note. If there was anyone who positively did not deserve the attention and intense feelings of these two immaculate men, it was you. Playing them both, dancing between sides, too many ties pulling you back.

As you set the flowers on your kitchen counter, you saw the decorated envelope sitting on your entryway table. Your brows furrowed, wondering when the hell that had gotten there. It was sticking out of your bag. Shaky hands grabbed it, seeing a poorly scribbled sticky note on the front.

YOU NEEDED A REMINDER OF WHY I’M IN THE FIGHT

Daniel Robert Wagner,

Where can I even begin? You have held my heart in your grasp in ways you will never understand. It all stems from that June summer day. Sam brought you into the group and it was like you had stolen all the air from lungs, becoming the air that I needed to breathe everyday.

I’ve seen you shape and transform into an amazing person, still remaining true to your roots despite the ever growing stardom that is falling into your lap. I can’t wait to see what wondrous things you’re going to do. I hope I’m a part of the journey. I hope you’ll let me tag along.

Every time my eyes fall to you, it’s like I’m seeing you again for the very first time. I don’t expect that to change as we grow up. I live off the chance that one day, maybe you’ll see me like that, too. But in the meantime I will always be here, your personal cheerleader, on the sidelines as your number one fan.

I'll always be your fan. I’ve loved you since I’ve known you, holding onto faith that someday you’ll love me back.

Forever and always yours,

Belly

You jumped up from your seat on the couch and ran into your room. Throwing open the closet door, you rooted through your belongings, tossing out items that were in your way until you saw it.

There, tucked away in the back corner of the small closet, hidden behind a rack of shoes, sat another envelope. Another one you had entirely forgotten about. Your breath held tight in your throat, unsure of what to do with the baited air. Snatching it from its spot, the decorated paper stared back at you.

You never sealed the back, flipping it up and pulling out the pristine paper. It still smelled of the vanilla scent you had sprayed on it. Your signature scent in high school that had you cringing at the memory. Josh had complimented it on more than one occasion and you had worn it every day after that.

Pounding on the front door, a summer storm raged outside. It poured like only a midwest storm could. Where the skies had been clear for minutes leading up to the dark clouds rolling in, torrential rain drenched anything in sight. You included.

When his door opened, not expecting a visitor, your jaw was set, not wanting to play any games. Ready to end it. “You need to get inside!” He yelled over the thunder that cracked overhead. Without a second of hesitation, your sopping wet frame stepped inside. The familiar scent washing over you.

He disappeared, coming back moments later with towels. Nearly refusing to look in your eyes, he handed them off to you, turning on his heel and taking a stance just a few paces back. His intution told him he knew where this was going.

“Tell me when.” You gritted out. He knew what you were asking, demanding. Having to lay it all out at that moment. Stumbling over his words, you spoke again. “Tell me why you want me.” His eyes snapped up to yours, glossy irises meeting you.

His chin trembled as his lips parted to break the utter silence you waited in. Thunder still echoing outside, lightning igniting the space. “It’s you. You’ve been there. For everything, especially when others weren’t. I knew that all I had to do was pick up a phone and you-you’d be there in a heartbeat. You want to know when?”

An intake of breath as he grew more and more passionate, seeing as the tears freefall down your face, chin still up as he spoke. “It was when you were in my goddamn garage. You would come before the band just to see me.” The last word was uttered in disbelief. His own tears threaten to start falling.

“You didn’t see it because I didn’t want you to. I was scared. But fuck, belly, it’s you. It’s always been you.” Your hand raised from your side, extending the envelope towards him. Letting him have the insight that you swore no one ever would.

Gingerly removing it from your grasp, he pulled the paper from the envelope and sat on his sofa. You stood rooted to your spot, watching his face to see the display of emotions he was bound to reveal.

Danny,

This isn’t a formal letter. Not like the others I’ve written. Where I’ve put my soul's bearings onto parchment and sealed them away, for no other prying eyes to ever see again. I had to get this down.

You looked at me today.

Sitting in your garage, you gave me an impromptu drumming lesson. I only caught it briefly, in a passing moment. When my head had turned when you weren’t expecting it and caught your eyes watching me. In a way that was different from all the others.

I didn’t realize it until I got home tonight, having been kicked out of the garage for super secret band practice (which is totally stupid by the way), but you did. I saw it. You looked at me. Thank you. For seeing me.

People call me dumb, that I’m just a child who doesn’t understand what love is and what it can entail. But they're wrong. Because I know that it can be a spoken word or just a look shared in secret, but it doesn’t matter because it’s love. It’s in the way you look at me when you teach me how to play drums.

It’s you, Danny. You’ll forever own a piece of my heart. No matter what. I love you.

Belly

His arms sagged, nearly dropping the paper to the floor, staring at you in utter disbelief. “You don’t deserve me,” you whispered out, feeling everything crash to the surface at once. Danny stood, approaching you, but still keeping a hair of distance.

Shaking his head, his red rimmed eyes bore into yours. “No, I don’t.” He was slowly inclining his head to yours, wanting to see if the message you were putting out was what he was reading. Not wanting to believe that this was actually happening. That the choice you had made was really him. The love you had harbored for him was true, not a dream he was chasing. That he would finally be ready to return it. After everything, you chose him.

“Take me to bed before you fuck it up.”

240 notes · View notes

cae-ruleam · 4 months

Text

time's a ticking

rated G - basically a character study of immortal Danny word count: 4405 AO3 link

Danny's seen many loved ones come and go, and he has almost been beaten down countless times. But life goes on, and through the years, Danny's learned to live with that by making new memories to remember, and rekindling old ones.

“Mr. Leverton, it’s already past seven! I’ll be heading out in a moment, you can close up shop soon,” Danny heard a young voice call from the second floor of an old mechanics shop. He took off his gloves and wiped his forehead before mumbling, “Is it really that late already?” to himself. But it seemed that his apprentice still heard him once he started strolling down the wooden stairs.

“Yes, really! Now, please don’t continue working on that and just go home to rest, will ya?” Sawyer chastised the older man with slight exasperation; knowing that if he did not hound Danny, the man may stay holed up here all night and not even realize it until Sawyer returned the next morning.

It’s happened before. Several times too many, in fact. Danny chuckled, “Who’s in charge of who here?” he joked with a roll of his eyes. But he still did as told and started to put all his tools in their right places.

“Har har, you know you’ll get too invested otherwise if you weren’t already, Mr. Leverton,” the young man reiterated once more. He then went and shrugged on his winter coat before saying goodbye and walking out of the shop with a skip. Danny waved at him as he did so, of course.

“Well, he’s not wrong,” Mr. ‘Leverton’ said as he pushed himself up from his stool and cracked his neck.

It’s been a long time since Danny’s gone by the last name ‘Fenton’; it’s been roughly 170 years, in fact. After all, he didn’t have any family when he was a kid, besides his parents, sister, and aunt Alicia, of course. But Jazz and her wife never had any kids of their own, despite fostering many others. Aunt Alicia never remarried after her divorce, plenty satisfied to live her life ‘till the end on her own.

That left Danny, but given the … circumstances of his existence, he quickly shot down any idea of having kids, biological or adopted.

So the Fenton Family’s lineage ended with Jazz and him, some 350 years ago when Jazz passed. He’d faked his death for the public long before then. You could only claim you’re an exceptionally young-looking 40-year-old for so long, after all.

That was until he decided to bring it back briefly, about 200 years ago, for another run and go. He didn’t like the idea of disconnecting himself from his first identity forever, entirely. Even if he had to use a different first name that time.

The second name he’d decided to use was Nightingale. In a hilarious turn of fate, during that 30-year period, there seemed to have been a resurgence in interest in witchcraft.

A lot has changed in the over 400-year period he’s wandered the Earth, yet, not so much has changed at all. And that was why Danny nowadays preferred to keep himself under the radar, and people at an arm’s length.

While he technically retired himself from the superhero business several centuries ago, what, with the amount of his rogues mellowing out and there being less need for Phantom to be able to show up at any moment; he would still help out whenever necessary. Such as, when there were catastrophes from space threatening the entire globe and its attached afterlife, something he’d done before but no one remembers nowadays. Or, when the wrong people got a hold of the rapidly developed technology and weapons of warfare, ones so strong and destructive the humans themselves do not even have any preventive measures for. But that was neither here nor there.

He preferred it this way. He was getting old – albeit not physically, he definitely was mentally – and he’d never been too fond of being part of the superhero business in general. He was merely thrust into it at a ripe fourteen years of age due to a stupid mistake stupid kids made. He was thankful he could mostly part ways with that life, nowadays. Jazz also said that it had made him happier.

“Speaking of…” it’s been a while since he’s visited his sister. The only one from his immediate circle that became a ghost. His parents likely would’ve rather been burned to death than become ghosts in the afterlife, and Sam and Tucker … Danny supposed they’d lived a fulfilling enough life to not return.

He was happy for them, for that fact; even if it had hurt at first when he realized. Even when it still hurt, over 300 years later to know they’d moved on from him. But perhaps love was never meant to be, for a being such as himself.

Jazz, on the other hand, said that she would never be able to leave her baby brother to fend for himself, especially if this baby brother was some immortal semi-godlike being who’s made more than a few bad decisions in his then-normal-lifespan. Danny had laughed at that proclamation at first. Until she really came back to haunt him forever in the afterlife that is.

Danny went ahead and locked up the door of his mechanics’ shop before heading up the stairs to the second floor, personal belongings in tow. He’d rather not open a portal and disappear through it, right in front of the large windows the first floor had.

The halfa took a gentle breath and dipped into a bit of concentration before tearing a hole through reality – its veil was rather thin, all things considered. After all these years and so much experience, creating portals was like child’s play to him – hell, even creating duplicates was.

He then let his familiar transformation wash over him before flying through the portal and closing it off again with a wave of his gloved hand once he was on the other side.

Danny found himself in a familiar area of the Ghost Zone – some small spectral village that was built roughly 700 years ago, if he remembered his history correctly. He shouldn’t let Clockwork know that he’s already forgotten the lessons he gave him; he’d be so disappointed.

Danny looked around in the air briefly before slowly floating down toward the paved roads, and just when he came to a halt, a few inches off the floor, a shrill voice caught his attention.

“Phantom!” it happily called out, loudly – and before Danny was able to turn around he was tackled into a hug by some familiar weight. Once his eyes landed on his assailant, everything made sense. “Hi there to you too, Brianne,” he greeted kindly. The ghost child giggled and kicked her feet before she looked up at him again. “Aunt Jazz has been worried sick!” she continued.

Danny’s eyes widened momentarily, and he quickly tried to hide his shock again. “And why would she be?” he asked as he patted the girl’s head, even though he had several guesses for why Jazz could be worried to the point others would know about it.

“She’s been muttering to herself about how it’s been too long since you visited…” Brianne answered with a scrunched expression, as if deep in thought and racking her brain to remember the details. “Also something about … afraid that frostbite would get to you? Or not get to you? I don’t know why she would be though! You have an ice core,” she continued on.

Danny chuckled and patted her head once more, “She’s probably worried that Mr. Frostbite, chief of the Far Frozen-” “Wouldn’t be able to find this reckless uncle of yours when he inevitably forgot his check-ups again,” Jazz added.

“Jazz!” Danny remarked surprised, but also excited, “Did you really have to put it like that?” he asked sheepishly.

“It wouldn’t be the first time, now would it? It’s a valid concern; you haven’t visited me in two years!” she chided her brother, her always younger baby brother – no matter how old or powerful he’s gotten.

Danny’s expression became slightly pained. He huffed and motioned his head to the side briefly as if to tell his sister, ‘Let’s continue this at your place,’ and it seemed that Jazz agreed. His sister looked down at the girl standing confused between the two of them and quietly told her something or another – Danny didn’t quite catch it – and she immediately went on her merry way.

Jazz started walking once Brianne had gone off, and Danny made it a point to close the distance he had with the ground and walk alongside her. Despite being able to fly, as the skill was part of any ghost’s basic repertoire, Jazz was one of the few ghostly inhabitants of the ‘Zone who had always preferred to feel her feet planted on the ground, even after death. He saw no need to mention it and was always happy to join her; gently grabbing her hand as he did so.

“I’m sorry that it’s been so long,” he started after a moment of not-so-uncomfortable quiet, “It’s just … After all these years-” “Time catches up to you, and you lose track of it instead,” Jazz finished his sentence for him once more. She exhaled, revealing no emotion with that action, not really. “I know, we’ve been through this plenty of times before, I got that by the time you turned 320 well enough,” she continued.

“But that doesn’t mean I can’t still point it out. Who knows what would happen otherwise?” she added after a beat of silence. “What? You’re afraid I’ll forget to visit you for decades at a time, or something?” Danny asked with a chuckle, rhetorically, mostly.

Jazz halted in her steps, forcing Danny to a stop too, and making him turn to see her raising an unimpressed eyebrow at him. “Heh, maybe you’re right,” he said with a sigh.

“You’re the one who said you lose track of time, after all. And I don’t think it’ll ever really get better,” she said, her tone devoid of judgment.

When they continued walking, but Danny didn’t respond for a few moments too long, Jazz spoke again. “You know I don’t blame you, right? It’s not unnatural – it’s just – I don’t want to lose you also,” she said quietly.

“You don’t have to! Isn’t that why you became a ghost in the first place? So we’d never lose each other,” Danny responded.

Jazz sighed and nodded. “Yes, but when you don’t contact me for so long, it’s … hard to not get scared. And before you say anything about me joining you – you know very well that I can’t sustain myself outside the Ghost Zone for long like you can, now that you move around the globe instead of staying put in Amity. Not that you should ever feel compelled to do that, of course.”

Once they’d arrived at Jazz’s doorstep, she removed her hand from Danny’s to find her keys and unlock the door, before opening it and letting Danny through. Doors in the ‘Zone were very much Ghost-proof, after all. But not so much human proof. Danny quickly dropped himself on the sofa with a satisfied “Humph”, making Jazz shake her head at him as she locked the door again.

“Do you want something to drink?” she asked, already making her way to the kitchen.

“Some ecto-jasmine will do,” Danny responded.

“Do I even want to know if that’s a poor attempt at a joke, or not?”

“Why not both? And hey! It is not poor,” a beat went by, “Okay, maybe it is.”

Danny sighed as he watched his sister work, shaking his head, “But no, you’re … right. I should probably be putting more effort into this … relationships thing. At least for others, even if not myself.”

“Oh?” Jazz responded curiously from the kitchen across.

Danny noted long ago how her home in the Ghost Zone – her Keep manifested from herself – resembled the different houses she’s lived in in her human life. That’s nothing strange, not at all. Many ghosts’ Keeps reflected parts of themselves, or their mortal lives. What was notable however was just how akin to the Fenton house in Amity Park Jazz’s was. Despite everything, it meant that her memories tied to it were comfortable and strong enough to manifest like this.

Contrary, Danny’s Keep – besides the one previously belonging to Pariah – was a weird amalgamation of their childhood home from before they moved to Amity, his many houses since then, and hell – it even saw a bit of Sam’s home! And it still changed to this day, as every new house he inhabited for a longer period of time would shift it again, even if it had been happening less frequently or substantially than before. One thing stayed consistent, however, and that was that there was a distinct lack of their home in Amity Park.

Jazz had mentioned before that it likely meant Danny had separated himself entirely from that aspect of his life, and that that was okay. That it was a form of healing as well.

But Danny couldn’t help but feel like it meant he was running away from it. His life and experiences there were what made him into the man he is today, after all. But that was neither here nor there.

Danny nodded, even though he knew Jazz wouldn’t be able to see it, and responded, “Yeah … for you. For Brianne,” a child taken too soon. A young ghost Danny found wandering around, lost in the Ghost Zone, shortly after her death. Now in the care of the community here, “And I’ve … taken on a human apprentice.” Danny finally bit the bullet and admitted it.

Danny then heard some ceramic shatter.

He jumped up from the couch alarmed, “Is everything alright?” he asked hastily.

Jazz sucked in a breath of air through gritted teeth before responding, “Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry.”

She then grabbed a new cup, poured the tea in it, and returned with two of them in hand to the living room. As she set them down, she continued talking, “I was just caught off guard. I mean, you? Of all people taking in a human apprentice? When your only answer to me goading you into establishing more relationships with people again was ‘Nah.’ for the longest time? Sue me for not believing it immediately,” she said sarcastically.

“Very funny, Jazz. But I really can’t blame ya,” Danny responded, accepting defeat.

Jazz’s expression turned softer as she pinned her brother down and sighed, “Of course you can’t. Anyway, care to elaborate?” she asked as she raised her cup of tea to her mouth, taking a gentle sip of the hot beverage.

Danny closed his eyes and shook his head as he picked up his tea as well, responding, “It’s not like you’ll let me out of here until I do so,” he said. “You know me well, little brother,” she teased.

“What caused this change in heart?” Or resurfacing perhaps, that’d be a more accurate description.

Danny pouted in thought for a moment. “I just met this kid, Sawyer’s his name, a few months ago. He has a talent for engineering, but I found out soon after that his family probably wouldn’t be able to send him to college for that. Even after so long, the world hasn’t really become more fair. If it hasn’t gotten worse, that is,” he explained.

Jazz sighed, disappointed but not surprised, “That doesn’t shock me in the slightest. Anyway, so you thought you’d teach him the ropes?” The halfa nodded, “Basically; and maybe he’ll be able to get a scholarship after that, if he wants to, anyway.”

“You saw a part of yourself in him, didn’t you?” Jazz said, seemingly out of nowhere.

Danny huffed, just barely amused, “What made you think that?” he asked with suspicion.

“A young boy with uncultivated talents, really, Danny?” his sister asked in return, unimpressed.

Danny quieted at that. He’s been a lot quieter in general, especially compared to his youth, Jazz noted.

It wasn’t a surprise to anyone, and not a secret for anyone, that Danny changed a lot when his loved ones started passing one by one, while he stayed young and living forever. Jazz wasn’t exempt from that either, as the only one who continued to stay by his side, even if that meant continuing without her wife and dear friends who happily moved on.

The two of them always knew it would come to this, and they’d both made peace with it now. But it didn’t take a genius to realize that Danny’s solution to not experiencing this heartbreak again, was to distance himself from humankind. He stayed close, residing more in the human realm than the ghostly one, but he detached himself from relationships just enough for them to not get too close. For him to not get hurt too bad once he’d inevitably see them for a last time.

Unfortunately, in doing so, Danny separated himself from both communities that he was a part of.

Now, Jazz felt that for the first time in over a century, she saw the care he once carried all around him, emerge once more. This Sawyer kid, no doubt has been a huge part of that.

She saw the need to point it out as such, “I think this change has been good for you, little brother.” At Danny’s puzzled face, she continued, “You seem more energetic, more comfortable in your own body,” she said with a smile.

She set her cup down on the lounge table and walked over to Danny who was on the opposite side, kneeling down and holding her hand on top of his knee. “It must’ve hurt, keeping a part of yourself buried for so long,” she whispered quietly, but without another sound nearby it was louder than clear.

It was this comment that broke Danny’s defenses down, an attack so gentle it wouldn’t even have left a scratch. First came one tear, and then another, before they were followed by many more soon enough until her little brother was sobbing uncontrollably. Jazz didn’t think twice before embracing him in a tight hug.

He hugged back just as tightly, if not tighter. If Jazz were still human, she would’ve had to beg for air soon enough. So it was a good thing she didn’t have to.

The siblings just sat there, crying into each other’s shoulders for Ancients know how long.

------------------------------------------------------

On a clear spring day, Sawyer was prepared to head into Daniel Leverton’s shop early in the morning as he’s done many times before, half expecting he may have to wake up his teacher again; an occurrence that had become quite familiar to him as of late.

Instead, he was met with a decked-out first floor, a cake at his workbench, and a very awake Mr. Leverton.

“Happy birthday, I hope you’ll like your gift!” the raven-haired man had exclaimed.

Sawyer barked a laugh at that. “I honestly didn’t expect you to have remembered,” he said. His tone wasn’t rude, not in the slightest. He was merely stating a fact.

“I didn’t either, but hey, seems like old-timers still run alright once in a while,” he said with a wink.

And that had always been a peculiarity to Sawyer. He knew that Mr. Leverton was older than he looked. Even if he didn’t always act it, he had way too much experience for that not to be the case. But other times he would sound like any of his slightly older friends. Yet on occasion, he sounded like so much more. Even his grandparents wouldn’t have compared when they’d been alive.

Sawyer pushed those silly musings out of his head before accepting his gift – some tools that he may or may not have been drooling over while he was out with Mr. Leverton gathering supplies a few weeks ago, as well as some chocolates he vaguely remembered noting he enjoyed once, offhandedly.

For someone so air-headed – or perhaps, appearing to be on another plane entirely, the elder was attentive like no other.

Daniel Leverton was a curious man, and he continued to surprise the young mechanic.

------------------------------------------------------

It was on a different spring morning, several springs after that birthday, that Sawyer received an important email.

It was an email of acceptance into college – one dictating that he’d be the recipient of a scholarship, no less.

Mr. Leverton was the first person he’d tell about this news. Instead of the immediate excitement that he’d expected of the man, he received a pondering expression.

“Y’know, I was about to ask if you were interested in taking over the shop,” he’d said after he left Sawyer to wander about in his own confusion for a while.

Before he could respond, however, Leverton continued, “I’m proud of you, you should definitely go for it, I know how much it means for you. Just know you’ll always have a place to return to.”

“What are you going to do then?” he responded.

Mr. Leverton hummed with his trademark smirk and grinned, “I was thinking of taking an early pension and traveling the world for a bit. I still have a lot of inheritance left from my too-rich godfather, too. And I’ll keep the building for now, but clients will have to find a new favorite mechanic. Oh, I just know how much it’ll pain them to not find me again though, truly tragic,” he explained dramatically.

“You know, Mr. Leverton, sometimes it really doesn’t feel like you’re the older one of the two of us anymore,” Sawyer teased.

“Oh, but I can assure you I am,” the other said with a wink, “But feel free to call me Danny. Seeing you call me Mr. Leverton to this day really does make me feel so old,” he continued, placing a hand on his heart with a pained expression.

“Heh, okay, Danny,” Sawyer tested the name on his tongue. “I’ll let you know about the shop when I get close to graduating, yeah?”

“We have a deal!” Danny responded as he theatrically shook his hand. “Those stuck-up academics won’t know what’ll hit them.”

------------------------------------------------------

Danny didn’t actually travel the world like he’d told Sawyer; he’d done that plenty of times before. Going on two world-round trips within a century sounded kinda overkill, even to him.

No, what he did in actuality was that he decided to reside in the Infinite Realms for a little longer again – while still returning to Earth on occasion to let the systems know that he had not, in fact, died yet. He didn’t plan on doing that for a few years yet.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true. Danny’s been planning on his new identity for a bit now. Or, well, old identity.

“Do you think the world is ready for the return of Danny Fenton?” he’d mused to Jazz on a seemingly random day.

“I don’t see why not,” she responded. “What brought you to this decision?”

“I just think it would be nice to revisit some old memories, friends, and places.”

Jazz smiled serenely at that. “I think that’s a great idea, Danny.”

------------------------------------------------------

“Heard anything from Sawyer recently?” Jazz asked him one day, a different random day. Danny shook his head.

“Nah, seems like he’s been living a good life. He hasn’t been updating me as frequently lately, but I like to see that as him broadening his circles,” he responded fondly. But then, his mortal phone rang – techniques to make them compatible with ghost-tech and the ‘Zone courtesy to Tucker, of course – and he laughed. “Speak of the devil.” He transformed into his human form before picking up the call.

“Hey there, Sawyer. How’s school been?”

“It’s … been very great, actually, Danny. I have met someone very great, in fact. But uhm – more on that later. Remember what you said about the shop?”

------------------------------------------------------

Danny returned to his cozy little shop for the first time in roughly four years, not so long after he’d attended Sawyer’s graduation ceremony. He picked up a few of his belongings he couldn’t miss, and threw them inside his pocket dimension for safekeeping.

It was as he did this, that Sawyer entered, and caught him in the act. He’d been planning for this to happen, really.

The young man looked a bit confused but didn’t see any need to press further. If anything, Danny figured this would answer some questions in the long run, once the other thought about it.

“Heh, that’s not something you see any day,” was the boy’s first comment.

“Really? I see it happen plenty of times,” Danny snarked back.

“Man, I’d so want to punt you if I didn’t know for sure I stood no chance.”

Danny hummed, “I think you’ll have to stand back in the line for that.”

Neither man said another thing for a while after that, until Danny’s eyes landed on a small ecto-ornament he’d put on his table when he left for the Ghost Zone those years ago. He picked it up and held it out to Sawyer.

“Here, keep this. If you’ll ever be gone for a while, put this out in the open and it’ll put the area into stasis. Nothing will age for the worse, and it’ll serve as a protective charm against burglaries,” Danny said in a light tone at the end, though he wasn’t joking. Attempted burglars will wake up more than a little dazed if they so much as dare touch upon the shop.

“I … Honestly, I’m not even gonna question that. I just saw you tear a hole in reality,” Sawyer responded.

“That’s probably for the best,” Danny said with a gentle nod of his head before putting the ornament into the young man’s hands.

“Anyway, I’ve got everything I need. You can keep the rest, or throw it out – whatever floats your boat. This place is yours now. I left my key and the spares on my workbench,” Danny explained with a tilt of his head.

“What are you going to do this time?”

“That’s a secret,” Danny replied. “But do come find me again, as a man named Daniel Fenton.”

------------------------------------------------------

Years pass by, with Sawyer finding no such man.

Until one day, into his later years, when his children had already taken over the shop, he heard a familiar voice he’d not heard in decades, but could never forget.

“Hey there, Sawyer,” Danny Fenton said, in the flesh; not looking a day older than their last meeting all those years ago.

…

“I’m proud of you.” And I of you.

#danny phantom #danny fenton #jazz fenton #cae's writing #fanfic #phan phic #character study #been a while since i posted my writing here jlkasdf #hopefully i edited it for tumblr properly...#its always a bit hard here bc it doesnt automatically put stuff in italics #damn #dp #fic

30 notes · View notes

the-fiction-witch · 1 month

Text

Life

Media Doctor Who

Character The Doctor (Eleventh)

Couple Doctor X Reader (Prior Companion)

Rating Sweet Af

This is a lil trial so if you like it! let me know!

I scrubbed the bottles and cups with my sponge and hummed to myself when I perked up as I heard the unmistakable sound. I set down my dishes and headed out of my little house to see the familiar blue box on my garden grass. The door opened and he stepped out looking almost exactly as I last saw him but there was more gravity to his eyes, more darkness there than I had last seen. He wore the same suit his hair the same and he smiled at me.

I chuckled as I put my hands in my pockets, "Been a while since I saw you doctor,"

"Did I inspire you?" He smirked as he looked at my outfit,

I looked down at my outfit, my little white sneakers, my black leggings, long sleeve white t-shirt, blue pinafore and white headband in my hair, "Somewhat." I shrugged putting my hands in my pockets, "How long has it been for you? Since we saw each other last?"

"...I don't know," he sighed, "I'm fairly convinced... a few months, a few years, It's hard to keep track of these things."

"Six years."

"Six?"

"Six years since you left."

"...God I've wasted time." He sighed running a hand over his face,

"It's alright, I know it passes quick for you,"

"It never gets any easier. To see how people change when I come back." He explained,

"What are you doing here?"

"... a bit of a farewell tour, I had to come visit one of my favourite humans."

"Quiet the compliment, Tea?" I offered,

"Pop the kettle on Y/n." He smiled so I led him into the house, "quiet the place,"

"Well I had time," I laughed, "You still take Three sugars?" I asked as I went to the kitchen and began to make two cups of tea the basic reflex of it all coming back to me even after six years to make the two teas as perfectly desired,

"You still remember? Still, care?"

"Hard not to care about a man you spent so long of your life flying around space and time with," I laughed handing him his tea and taking my own having a seat on the sofa,

He had a sip and sat down beside me and we chatted between the sips of tea, "what have you been up to then? the last six years."

"Living I suppose, It's a little strange to just come back and settle into a normal life after everything... I mean... You took me to the edge of the universe. To the beginning and the end of time. To sights and sounds, I'd never even imagined... And then I come back and ... get a mortgage"

"Ugh normality," he grimaced,

"It's not all bad, I've built a decent if... dull life by comparison."

"You miss it? Travelling?"

"I miss it. But... life goes on. I'm happy."

"I'm glad to hear it." He smiled, "That you're enjoying it,"

"I am." I nodded,

"Do you ever think of about going back?" he asked,

"I don't know," I answered, "So much has changed,"

"You like living here then? No more living out of suitcases and the tardis' wardrobes exploring the ends of the universe."

I giggled, "No, no more of that. I like living here. Built a career, a life, filled my house with trinkets from adventures."

"quiet the life, all that's left is a wedding and a baby,"

I did my best to save face but, "I uhh yeah... divorced so."

"Oh... sorry. I-"

"It's alright, don't worry over it,"

"I am sorry, really I am sorry," he said as he took my hand, "I don't mean to bring up bad memories,"

"It's fine. really." I nodded squeezing his hand,

"Anything else I should know I missed?"

I smiled and squeezed his hand tugging him with me as I set down my mug, I led him upstairs to the bedroom I let him go and headed inside to the room filled with stary wallpaper, sweet blue fabrics, the shadow of the star lamp on the ceiling, and the little crib to the side, I leant on the side of the crib and he came over to have a look too.

He smiled and leant on the crib with me too, he laughed and looked down at him.

"This is Danny,"

"Danny." he smiled, "I love it, perfect name, brilliant name," He smiled, "May I?"

"So long as you don't wake him, doctor," I laughed picking Danny up and handing him over,

"Ohhh Hello," he smiled as he held Danny in his arms, "You're my new best friend aren't you Danny,"

"Ohh I bet he will be," I smiled, "He loves stories about you,"

"He does?"

"Of course, he loves them. there his favourite stories for bedtime," I smiled, "Ohh almost forgot, he'll get grumpy without his favourite toy." I laughed as I took Danny's little crotchet sonic screwdriver from the crib and let Danny hold it in his little hand,

"You made it for him?"

"Yeah, I figured he'd like it."

"Maybe, he always waves it at the light switch when he wants them turned on,"

"Like his own little sonic screwdriver," he chuckled, "He'll be ready to head off through time and space pretty soon,"

"I think so," I laughed,

"You're a very good mother to him Y/n,"

"I do my best," I laughed,

"You must be, he loves your stories, loves his toys gets his beautiful eyes from you,"

"I kinda hope he didn't get much from his father,"

"Was his father that bad?"

"He was a jackass. some men are."

"Some men are." He chuckled before he pulled out his screwdriver pointing it to the starlight and after a few seconds, the cheap white star and moon-shaped shadows turned into vibrant colours and views of the stars of planets, stars, and galaxies full of colour and life, moving gently with a spin and sweep across the white ceiling.

"You-"

"My little gift. for Danny," He smiled, "so he can look up at the stars,"

"Thank you," I smiled,

he set Danny back in his crib to sleep, and we headed back to the sofa,

"Why are you here doctor?" I asked,

"Visiting." He smiled,

"You haven't visited once in six years, why not?"

"Because I missed you, I miss everyone but... I missed you most."

"Thank you, I missed you too."

"did you ever think that you'd be a mother back when we were travelling? Or did you ever think about it when travelling the universes, settling down and having a child?" He asked,

"Admit it very rarely entered my mind. So much else going on." I explained holding my mug in hand and stroking it between my fingers, "But it had always been there the desire to settle down and have a child."

"You deserve to finally rest and raise a child, life is hard and it's nice to have a little bit of hope and peace in your life. I just hope that you are truly happy that you are finally able to settle down somewhere and be content,"

"I am happy," I nodded, "But... can I tell you a secret?"

"I won't tell a soul,"

I blushed running my hands along the curve of the mug, "I always thought It would be with you... Settling down I mean. Crossed my mind more than once over all those years to imagine a room in the Tardis with a crib and a universe's worth of toys, and a baby... with you,"

He blushed a little, "Really?" He asked, "We went through so much together and now you're telling me you were really thinking about settling down with me,"

"I did. Guess I was a stupid little girl then..."

His smile widened, "You weren't stupid,"

"No?"

"No, and if it means anything. I was thinking about it too."

"What?"

"I did,"

"why didn't you ever tell me?"

"All of time and space... I never found the time," He said, "but I did always wonder about what would have happened if we did just settle down and have a nice quiet little life together,"

"it would have been nice... It must have been hard then ... To just leave me here?"

"I wanted you to stay with me... that's the thing, that was the hardest for me, it was extremely difficult leaving you. I wanted to stay and stay with you forever,"

I finally met his eyes, "Wanted? or still want?"

he didn't answer leaving us in silence for a moment before his hand gently took my cheek and his lips pressed gently against my own, I blushed hard and softly kissed back, until he pulled away his nose against my own,

"Do you really need me to answer that?"

"...More than anything,"

"Yes, it's always been yes. always will be yes." He smiled as he happily kissed me again, I kissed back excitedly until we pulled away.

"If it is still what you want," I whispered, "It's here waiting for you,"

#mattsmith #matt smith #doctor who #doctor who eleven #eleventh doctor #eleventhdoctor #doctor x reader

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readyforthegarden · 4 months

Text

Breakable Heaven - Part Five

Pairing: Danny Wagner x Female Reader

Synopsis: Being the maid of honor in your best friends wedding is already stressful enough without the best man being the ex-boyfriend who tore your heart to shreds. Stumbling across a dating app with dates for hire, you take a chance, inviting a perfect stranger to pretend to be your boyfriend for the weeklong celebrations. But how long can the charade last when the champagne starts pouring and feelings start growing?

Warnings: mild sports violence, talks of betrayal and cheating, drinking, kissing, finger-licking (idk any other way to describe it, yall will see what I mean), 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

A/N: I have played flag football exactly once in my life so parts may/will not be totally accurate but I did my best so...enjoy lmao sorry it’s a day late!!

WC: 6387

You woke up in better spirits the next morning, Danny felt. When he walked by the bathroom after getting dressed, he had to pause, you were humming the chorus to Heat Above, and he peeked into the room. You were standing in front of the mirror, finishing up your second French braid, one already done on your left side. Your fingers twisted and weaved the strands of hair effortlessly as you hummed, as if muscle memory from years of practice.

Danny suddenly wanted to ask you where you learned, had you been a little girl at sleep away camp? A cheerleader who learned on the bus on the way to an away game? Or was it time spent with your mother who told you stories as she braided, as you sat in front of her cross-legged on the floor. He wanted to know everything you would tell him about yourself, craved it, nearly. Danny didn’t realize he’d been caught staring until he realized you’d stopped humming.

“Sorry,” he blushed slightly, feeling like he was caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He met your eyes in the mirror with an apologetic smile.

“I’m the one who should be sorry,” you replied, twisting your hair tie around the end of the braid, securing it tightly. Turning you blinked up at him. “I drooled on your pillow last night.”

Danny laughed. After coming to bed, he slid in on your side, realizing his was completely taken as you snuggled into his pillow. The smell of your lavender shampoo and conditioner had surrounded him and lulled him into a more restful sleep, thanks to his conversation with Sam. When he had woken, it was to a small, yet pleasant surprise. You had rolled again in your sleep this time coming back to your side, and you had snuggled close to Danny. He had woken up to your legs tangled with his. Your toes had been cold, like you had them out of the blanket at some point in the early morning.

He took care to make sure they were warmed before he untangled himself from you, feeling more certain that Sam was right with his hypothesis. He shook himself from his thoughts as you spoke again.

“Actually I wanted to say sorry for how I acted last night.” You sighed, rubbing your arm anxiously. “I wasn’t upset with you or anything. I guess…I guess I just feel like we’ve gotten close in the past few days, and when I mixed up Jake and Josh, and you said it’s okay as long as it’s not to their faces…” Danny watched as you bit your lip, avoiding eye contact as your cheeks heated up. “It just reminded me that I’ll never meet them. After this week, there’s no reason for us to be together.”

“Oh honey,” Danny sighed. There was a small pang of sadness that friendship was the only thing on your mind, but he decided that friendship was better than nothing at all. “We can still hang out after this is over. I would love that.” he watched your eyes light up.

“Really?” a small, hopeful smile graced your face.

“Yeah, really.” Danny chuckled. “You’re not like any other I’ve worked with. Now come on, we gotta finish packing for our camp out.”

There was a small tingling in your chest when Danny told you that you weren’t like any other he’d worked with. You’d come to terms earlier that morning that part of the reason you would miss Danny was that you had started to develop a small crush on the young man. Talking yourself through it in your head, you convinced yourself it was just because of the act the two of you were putting on. Danny was a brilliant actor, and it was like being back in the high school theater club.

Once this weekend was over, you’d lose the crush on Danny and it would be a beautiful friendship. Once you were back in your own bed in your own apartment, you would realize it was just a silly little moment, nothing more than a passing fancy.

By the time the two of you made it down to the lobby, two vans were waiting, overnight bags being tossed into the back of each. Danny had slung yours over his shoulder and went to load it up when Olivia came around, laying a hand on your shoulder.

“Hey,” she looked slightly perplexed. “Gavin and Naomi are riding in our van, are you going to be okay with that? I know seeing her yesterday wasn’t easy.”

“I’ll be fine.” you shrugged. You watched behind her as Danny came back around the van, smiling and laughing at something Mila, another bridesmaid, had said. “I won’t be alone.”

“I’m really happy for you,” Olivia mused after she turned to see what you were looking at. “I know the breakup with Gavin was rough, but you seem to be really, really happy with Danny.”

“I am, yeah,” nodding, you felt a blush creep up your neck and to your cheeks. You were, as it turned out, happy with Danny, even if the relationship was fictitious. He was turning into a great friend, at the very least.

“And the way he looks at you? I’m the one getting married and my fiancé doesn’t even look at me like that!” Olivia giggled. “Really, I’m honestly getting a little jealous.”

“What do you mean?” you asked, trying not to seem as confused as you were. Olivia rolled her eyes, turning and looking at Danny again before coming and standing beside you.

“I mean that,” she said, nodding out to the small crowd by the van. You followed her gaze, only to see Danny looking at you from under the bill of his hat, a soft smile pulling into a crooked grin as he caught your eye. “That man is head over heels for you.”

“Stop,” you shook your head. There was a part of your heart that leapt with excitement at her words, wanting to believe that your small crush was reciprocated. But you knew better, he was doing his job, playing the role you hired him to.

“Babe, if you ask me? I think you’ll be walking down the aisle next.” Olivia’s eyes twinkled, and you could practically see her shifting into planning mode again.

“Don’t hold your breath,” you laughed, and Olivia frowned. You had meant it as a small joke to yourself, knowing this relationship would end shortly, but she took it as hesitancy from your past.

“You can’t think like that.” she stepped in front of you again. “Not every guy is Gavin. And Danny seems different. You told me he was yourself.”

“Yeah,” you gave her a small, reassuring smile.

“Alright, let’s load up!” Mike called out. Everyone dispersed to their vans. Danny let you get in before joining you in the middle, making Gavin and Naomi take the far back. Thomas and his wife climbed in next to him and you squeezed in towards the window.

Mike got into the driver's seat, Olivia next to him in the passenger. He started the van and you watched as the vineyard passed by you slowly. Next to you, Danny was plugging his earphones into his phone, opening up the music app from the night before. Catching you look, he held out the right earbud in his large palm, gesturing for you to take it. Placing it in your ear, he did the same with the left one.

“Can we listen to more of your band?” you asked softly. Danny smiled, nodding and looking them up again, pressing play and shuffle. You grinned, turning back towards the window, watching the scenery pass by. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught movement, and glanced over to see your knee moving up and down as you tapped your foot along to the beat. There was a smile on your face like the night before when you listened to Heat Above and Danny found himself lost in watching you experience his work.

He looked away, trying not to be caught spying on you yet again, but it was too late. In the rearview, Olivia’s bright eyes were twinkling up at him, a knowing smirk on her face. Danny blushed, focusing back on his phone screen before staring out the windshield, avoiding the mirror at all costs. However, he could keep his eyes from you, especially when you started nodding your head to The Falling Sky.

Danny imagined what it would be like for you to see him play live. If you would enjoy it as much as you seemed to be enjoying the recordings. His imagination led him to see you in the stands, where friends and family typically sat, and he had to bite back a smile as he thought of pointing his drumstick to you, much like Jake would occasionally point his guitar towards his partner, and the smile on your face as you watched him play, and play for you.

The vision of you backstage, running towards him after a show, excited to congratulate him and jumping into his tired, sweaty arms made his heart thrum in his chest. The kisses you would pepper all over his face, telling him how wonderful he was and how you couldn’t wait to get him home.

You’d made it through most of his discography before the van was stopped on a wide field. There were tents already set up, a large fire pit in the middle of the circle a few feet away. The turning foliage gave a breathtaking view you would never forget in your life. Danny stood next to your side, looking out towards the woods, the same glimmer in his eyes.

“I love the fall,” you sighed. “I wish it would look like this all the time.”

“Agreed,” Danny nodded.

“Alright, we have a few activities planned for the day!” Olivia clapped her hands excitedly, drawing the attention to her as she spoke. “Go put your things in your tents and meet over by the field in ten!”

You and Danny made your way to the back of your van, and you waited for Danny to hand you your overnight bag, but he slung it over his shoulder with ease as he also carried his own. Picking a tent in the middle, you undid the zipper, ushering Danny inside before following him. You expected something of Olivia’s tastes, somehow she would weasel an actual bed into the tents, bedside tables, the works, but you were surprised to see merely a full sized air mattress, a sleeping bag adoring it with two pillows.

“This’ll be cozy.” Danny chuckled to himself, letting the overnight bags slide off his shoulders and onto the polyester floor of the tent. Nodding along, you sighed, feeling how hard the chilly ground was under your feet, even through the tent.

“I haven’t been camping since I was a little kid.” you admitted. “And it was girl scout camp so…it wasn’t even close to this.”

“Really? No roughing it in the girl scouts?” shaking your head, Danny laughed.

“Most tents at the campgrounds I went to were up on platforms, off the ground. And we had cots.” you laughed. “Boy scouts definitely had it rougher.”

“Yeah, we were out foraging for food, eating pine cones and hunting squirrels.” Danny made himself look tough, flexing his bicep.

“I’m so sure,” rolling your eyes, you moved to the open flap of the tent, stepping out. “Well who knows, we may need your survival instincts tonight.”

“I think I still have some hunting skills in me.” Danny followed you out, and the two of you walked back over to the field Olivia had pointed out earlier. Still talking about hunting, Danny was poised as if he were shooting a bow and arrow as you came upon the rest of the group lingering around.

Mike walked up from his and Olivia’s tent, wearing red, super short-shorts, with a white t-shirt tucked into them. His socks were pulled up his calves and a whistle hung around his neck. In his left hand was a clipboard, in the other, a bullhorn.

“Oh no,” you grimaced as he stood in front of the group and raised the bull horn to his lips.

“You all must be wondering why we’ve brought you out here from that luxurious hotel to a field in the middle of nowhere.” Mike said, his words echoing loudly. “On Saturday, Olivia and I will come together in holy matrimony. But today, we are two individuals, and we are competing against each other for the ultimate prize.”

“A blowie on the wedding night?” one of the groomsmen called you, making you roll your eyes as Olivia flipped him off.

“No, Logan,” Mike shouted in his direction, glaring. He turned back towards everyone and grinned. “Bragging rights on whose side of the wedding party was better.” Olivia took the bullhorn from Mike, grinning.

“Bridesmaids, obviously.” She gave Mike a gentle, playful shove. “We’ve devised a few games that pit the bridesmaids against the groomsmen. Dates, you are allowed to play, but you have to play on the side you came with.” Danny nudged you with his elbow, whispering a little ‘hello teammate’ before turning back and listening to the rest of Olivia and Mike’s spiel.

The games of the day were flag football, blind volleyball, and of course, beer pong. After a few moments, you were suited with a belt, three neon red flags hanging off it. Danny had matching ones himself, grinning while you swiped your thumbs across the tops of his cheeks, leaving eye black in their wake.

“There, now we look like professional athletes.” you laughed under your breath. Danny took his baseball cap, turning it around so the bill was in the back and nodded.

“Let’s go kick some ass!” he urged.

“That’s the spirit!!” Olivia cheered, clapping her hands. “Let’s demolish them!” Lining up on the field, you stood next to Olivia, ready to play offense. Your best friend was mean-mugging her own fiance, both of them talking shit to one another.

“Why do I feel like this is just weird foreplay for them?” Danny whispered to you as they shook hands, winking at one another.

“It probably is.” you replied with a shrug. “You have to leave their house after game night if you don’t want to have nightmares fueled by their moans.” it was Danny’s turn to grimace, sticking out his tongue like he tasted something sour. Shaking it off, he got back into formation, looking down the line of groomsmen. As his eyes traveled, they met with Gavin’s, who flickered to you and back him Danny, narrowing slightly. Danny mirrored the action, a sudden overwhelming urge to make this game a contact sport bubbling up in his stomach.

“Set, hut, hike!” Mike called, starting the first play. The movement on the field was fast, everyone getting the competitive edge as the game started. Somehow you ended up with the ball, running towards the opposite goal from where you started. A thrill ran through you as you dodged Thomas’ outstretched hand, trying to pull one of your flags, a shrill excited yip leaving your mouth as you jumped out of the way.

You surprised yourself, making it to the endzone of the field, throwing the football down onto the ground and raising your arms above your head as you and the rest of your team cheered. You were lifted into the air, Danny’s arms wrapping around you and lifting you up.

“Bridesmaids one, groomsmen a big fat zero!!” Mila lifted up her fingers in the shape of an L to her forehead, making faces at the groomsmen.

“Lucky shot.” Gavin called out. Danny couldn’t help the glare that he shot over to the man as he set you down. “Haven’t seen you run like that since junior year in college, when you streaked across the frat houses yards.” Danny moved to speak in your defense, but was surprised when you cut him off.

“Yeah? Well someone had to have the balls in our relationship, didn’t they?” you didn’t stay for a reply, instead turning with so much purpose your braids flicked out behind you, nearly whipping the air as you moved. Danny smirked at Gavin’s shocked face, raising his eyebrows challengingly before following you back to the center of the field.

“Streaking, huh?” Danny leaned down, snickering in your ear playfully.

“Like everyone else, I made choices in college, some good, some bad.” you shot him a small glare. “Most were under the influence of Jager bombs.” Danny laughed before getting back into position, and continuing the game.

It was a little while later, one flag dangling from your belt as you’d gotten “tackled” the second time you were in position with the ball. The play was called and you ended up with it again, tucking it into your body and bolting across the field. You felt it before you saw it. Something catching your ankle and forcing you to tumble to the ground, the ball falling out of your grip and rolling away.

“Out!” you heard someone call. “She’s out!”

“You tripped her!” rolling onto your back, you pushed yourself to a sitting position, watching Danny point angrily at Gavin as he rushed over to you.

“She fell when I grabbed her flag!” Gavin defended. “Not my fault she’s clumsy as hell.” Danny knelt next to you, looking over your body.

“You okay?” he asked softly. Reaching up, he wiped some dirt off your cheek.

“I’m fine,” you mumbled. “My ankle doesn’t feel great.” Danny moved his hand to the ankle you pointed to, gently squeezing. You felt a small jolt of pain, as if he were poking a bruise, and you winced.

“I swear to god if she has to wear a cast in my wedding I will make you regret being born!” Olivia threatened Gavin off in the distance.

“Okay, let’s get you to the sidelines, honey.” Danny maneuvered himself into a crouching position, wrapping your arm around his shoulders and taking your waist with one of his, lifting you up.

“It’s not that bad,” you protested as he moved you. Trying to put your weight on it for a step, you sucked in a sharp breath through your teeth. You quieted down as he brought you to a camping chair next to a cooler filled with drinks and water, helping you sit. Thomas came over, taking a look at your ankle, using his medical background to see how bad it was.

“I think you’ll be okay,” he assured you. “Just a minor sprain, more like a rolled ankle. You’ll have to try and stay off it for a little bit.” Frowning, you looked up to Danny who was glaring towards where Gavin was getting a talking to from Mike while Naomi looked pissed and annoyed off to the side. Reaching out, you took his hand, tugging it and bringing his attention back to you.

“I’m fine,” you told him again. “I’m just going to have to sit out the rest of the games.”

“He tripped you,” Danny shook his head, his brows knit together in the middle of his forehead.

“And he’ll never hear the end of it from Olivia and Mike, I promise.” Danny sucked his teeth as the game started back up, becoming more upset Gavin was still in the game.

“He wants to make this a contact sport, he’ll get a contact sport.” Danny mumbled to himself, shaking his hand loose of yours and jogging to the middle of the field. Gavin wasn’t going to get away from what he did unscathed. Danny could hear his mother in his head, reminding him in her kind voice that an eye for an eye solves nothing, but he shook the adage away. While it wouldn’t solve much, it would provide Danny with satisfaction for the time being.

The play started, and just as he wanted, Gavin got the ball. Danny dashed after the other man, weaving in and out of the other players before launching at Gavin, reaching out for his two remaining flags, tearing them off and knocking the man hard to the ground in the process.

“What the fuck?!” Gavin growled as Danny stood back up, grinning with the flags in his hands.

“You’re out.” Danny replied simply. “Not my fault you’re so clumsy.” Danny tossed the flags to the ground before joining you on the sidelines, catching his breath.

“Danny,” you stared up at him.

“He deserved it.” was all Danny told you before picking up a bottle of water from the cooler. While the show of masculinity should’ve made you upset and roll your eyes, you instead felt flattered that Danny stood up for you like that. You would have to have a conversation with him that it couldn’t happen again this week, you didn’t hire him to fight your ex. Just to make being around him more bearable.

You sat out from the rest of the games, getting up a few times to walk when Thomas would advise it. By the time beer pong was over, it was getting dark, and most everyone had gathered around the firepit back at the tents, roasting weenies. You had gotten up to walk a bit, Danny watching carefully as you did a lap around the tents before coming back.

The autumn night air was chilly, and in your thin, long-sleeved t-shirt you were becoming susceptible to the cold. You had dipped into the tent, searching through your bag before realizing the hoodie you thought you had packed was still laying on the hotel bed where you set it down to make sure you’d packed your toothbrush and toothpaste.

When you came back from the tent, you were visibly shivering, even with the fire roaring in front of you. Without thinking, Danny stood up and pulled off his sweater, the soft material still warm from his body, and handed it to you.

“Put that on,” he insisted, tugging down the black t-shirt he had worn underneath it. The cream and black sweater was calling to you, practically steaming with warmth as you took it.

“Won’t you get cold?” you asked, holding the sweater in your hands. Danny shook his head.

“I packed another sweatshirt. You wear this while it’s still warm, and I’ll be right back.” You began to pull the cozy sweater over your head, threading your arms through the sleeves, basking in Danny’s leftover body heat. Danny came back from your tent a few moments later, tugging a black sweatshirt over his head before putting his hat back on, backwards again. He sat down on a camping chair, taking a beer from Thomas, who was passing them around. You went to find a seat yourself when hands took your waist, pulling you backwards.

Your bottom came into contact with something firm but soft, and you turned slightly to see Danny smiling at you, having tugged you onto his lap.

“Best seat in the house, honey.” he threw you a wink before sipping his beer, making your cheeks heat up. Danny could say multiple truths at this moment. One, that he did it because he wanted to keep you warm. Two, that he did it because he wanted you on his lap so he could hold you. And three, that he did it because Gavin had been staring at you off and on all day, and he wanted to remind the dick who you were with.

As the evening wore on, skewers were passed around, along with the fixings to make smores. Danny kept a hand on your hip as you leaned forward on his lap, holding your marshmallow over the fire. You twisted the metal skewer slowly, allowing the marshmallow to brown evenly. The sleeves of his sweater had been pushed up to avoid any mess, and he couldn’t help but revel in how good you looked in it.

“Okay, is everything ready?” you leaned back, turning on his lap. Danny nodded, picking up the graham cracker adorned with a large square of chocolate. Placing the toasted marshmallow on top, you took the other part of the cracker, using the edge to scrape the melty goodness off the metal and onto the chocolate before setting the skewer down on top of the cooler next to you. Taking the small dessert, you squished the crackers down, letting the marshmallow ooze from the sides, coating your fingers.

“You’re making a mess,” Danny laughed, taking one of your hands. His original idea was going to be grabbing a napkin for the sticky fingers you now had, but as he caught Gavin looking at you from his peripheral vision, he brought them to his mouth before looking back up at you, gently sucking the marshmallow off each one. In the glow of the fire, he couldn’t tell if you were blushing again, but your eyes were wide enough to tell him that if the sun had been out, your cheek would be even redder than before. He was quick and discreet with his movements. Someone would’ve thought, if caught, that he had just been giving quick, small kisses to your fingertips, over before it even started.

“T-Thank you,” you stuttered. Taking your hand back, you ignored the heat in your belly, whether from embarrassment or the sudden swirl of feelings that stirred up for Danny, you weren’t sure. You focused on taking a bite of the smore, biting off the corner of the small cookie sandwich. Humming to yourself, you enjoyed the delicacy, not having had a smore since you were at least a teenager, maybe younger. Turning, you silently offered it to Danny.

Danny looked up at you, ignoring the offer and instead leaned forward, tilting his head up and pressing his lips to the corner of yours. You could feel the warm tip of his tongue glide over your skin, sending a shiver down your spine. When he pulled back, his eyes sparkled mischievously.

“You had a little chocolate there,” his crooked smile made your stomach fill with butterflies as he leaned forward again, now taking a bite of the dessert you had originally offered him. “Mm, honey, you make a perfect smore.”

“Only for you, lover.” you replied, a smirk on your lips. If he could lay it on thick, so could you. Something lit behind Danny’s eyes and the hand that held your hip tugged you back into him a bit more firmly. You took another bite of the dessert before taking the bottle of beer out of Danny’s hand, licking your lips before taking a swig to wash down the sweetness.

Danny watched you as you did it, something setting fire to his stomach. Maybe it was the way you took the bottle without asking, as if he really was your partner and it was common place to share drinks with one another. Perhaps it was the way you’d licked your lips before pressing the mouth of the glass bottle to them so confidently.

Whatever it was, Danny found himself completely smitten as you handed the bottle back without looking, leaning forward to talk to Mila about her debacle with her bridesmaid dress alterations. It happened a few more times, you taking swigs from Danny’s beer, as if it was the most natural thing to do. Which for lovers, it should be. Instead of your friends surrounding him, he imagined it was his. That Sam was telling you some story and you were leaning forward to listen to him, maybe Rose was at your feet, waiting for a secret graham cracker treat you’d sneak to her when Sam finally looked away. You would fit in so well with his friends, he decided.

It wasn’t until bed that you and Danny really spoke again, both facing opposite sides of the tent as you changed into pajamas. You were walking better already, but were still trying to keep your full weight off of your ankle, so you took a little extra time.

“Thank you, by the way,” you turned your head softly, just enough to make sure he heard you, but not enough to see anything as he changed.

“For what?”

“Well, while I don’t condone what you did to get back at Gavin, I’ve never had someone stand up for me like that before.” you tried to fight the smile at the memory of Danny practically tackling Gavin to the ground, but failed.

“He’s an asshole,” Danny snorted quietly. He’d been done changing, waiting for your okay to turn around. “I don’t mean this as an insult, but I feel like he was one of the bad choices you made under the influence of those Jager bombs.”

Grimacing to yourself as you tugged the warm sweater Danny had lent you back over your head, you nodded.

“The Jager definitely didn’t help.” you adjusted the hem of the sweater. “Okay, I’m good.” both of you turned around, smiling softly as a small lull filled the gap between you both. “So, you have a tattoo?” you asked, glancing down at his covered bicep. “I saw it earlier, when you gave me this sweater.” Danny smiled.

“Yeah, two of them.” he turned and showed you the back of his ankle, where a thin, dainty rose was resting.

“I never noticed,” you told him. “The rose is beautiful, what’s the one on your arm?” Danny went into an explanation, talking about the moon phase he was born under and what the lines represented. “Wow, that’s really cool.”

“Do you have any?”

“Mm, no.” you shook your head. “I wouldn't mind getting one one day, but I don’t know what.” you and Danny continued your conversation softly, getting into the sleeping bag. The bag was big enough there was a good deal of space between your bodies. You were both laying on your stomachs, talking quietly in the dark, pillows bunched under your chins to prop yourselves up a bit.

“You know all about my ex,” you mentioned. “Can I know a little about yours?” Danny sighed softly. “You don’t have to, I’m sorry I even asked.”

“No it’s okay,” Danny shushed your apology. “We just were clashing a lot. She would be upset that I was gone for long stretches, playing shows and touring with the band, and then would be upset if I took time off, because that meant money was going to get tight. Really, I think she loved being my girlfriend more than she loved me.”

“She’s an idiot.” you murmured, making Danny laugh softly. “What? How could she be loved by someone like you and take it for granted? You’re fake in love with me and I feel spoiled rotten.”

“There’s this scene of people, when you’re in the music industry,” Danny started, resting his chin on his pillow and looking straight forward at the back wall of the tent. “They want to be around you for what you can give them, they want the status of dating a ‘rockstar’” Danny lifted his hands up in air quotes. “But they don’t want to deal with the actual lifestyle of being away from each other for long periods of time, or working late or when you just want to stay home for a night after going out and being followed and stalked by crazy fans.”

“It can’t be easy,” you replied back, “I’m sure you don’t want to leave someone you love either.”

“No, especially after finding out that they cheated on you with one of your buddies while you were gone.”

“What?!” Danny shushed you, and you covered your mouth as he chuckled slightly. “You too?”

“What can I say? We are kindred hearts.” your hand moved on its own, claiming a home on top of Danny’s closest one.

“Want me to body check her?” Danny laughed, turning his hand over and squeezing yours.

“I appreciate the offer, honey, but she left town with her tail between her legs, moved back to her home state and I haven’t heard from her since.”

“Well good,” you yawned. “But if she comes back, it’s on sight.”

“Duly noted.” Danny laughed again. The two of you talked for a little longer until you started drifting off, rolling over with your back to Danny. He himself drifted in and out of sleep, every sound outside the tent snapping him awake. On one such occasion, he heard a small shudder, looking around as it sounded close, like a small animal had gotten into or was trying to get in the tent.

Looking around, he furrowed his brow, trying to see in the dark after having his eyes closed for a while. It wasn’t until he looked down that he realized the sounds were coming from you. You were shivering again, Danny now could feel the movements on your side of the sleeping bag. Your teeth chattered softly, and he finally caved.

“Hey,” he said softly. “Come over here.” You turned, looking at him. “Come closer, you’re freezing.”

“I’m f-fine.” your chattering gave you away. The sleeves of his sweater were pulled over your hands as you sleepily mumbled.

“You’re not,” Danny shook his head. “I don’t mind, come on.” he watched you battle something behind your eyes before you shuffled over, pressing yourself into his chest. You sighed at the warmth, feeling it spread through you slowly as he reached behind you and zipped the sleeping bag up more, closing it up.

“So much better,” you murmured into his chest, feeling his hands rest themselves on your back, rubbing up and down slowly. Danny felt you nuzzle your nose into his sweatshirt, smiling softly as your body stopped quaking, the muscles starting to relax.

“I think your braids aren’t helping, you need to keep the heat in. Do you mind if I?” Danny gently tugged in one of the ends of the braids, and you shook your head. His long fingers took the hair ties out, sliding them onto his wrist before they undid the plaits, working up to your scalp. You would be lying if you said it didn’t feel amazing, his warm fingers gently grazing along your scalp, undoing the weaving and fluffing your hair out around you. Once he was satisfied with his work, his arms encircled you again, hands running up and down your back.

“Just think of that hot stone massage tomorrow,” he whispered. You moaned softly, imagining the warmth on your spine, following the path Danny’s hands were taking. “Nice and warm, soothing.”

“Mmm,” you felt sleep start to come to you, weighing down your eyelids as you burrowed as close as you could to Danny. The last traces of his cologne rested in his clothes, and the heady aroma of cedarwood and linen cushioned your slumber. Danny kept talking, faint whispers floating around you, sounding more and more distant as time slipped by.

Danny felt your breathing even out, yet he was content to stay as he was, keeping you warm. Glancing down, he pressed a soft, sweet kiss to the top of your head. The act caused you to stir slightly, and he froze, waiting for you to wake and ask him what that was, but instead you only adjusted your body, tangling your chilly ankles with his warm ones.

Throughout the night your bodies entangled more, and Danny’s own sought to keep the warmth it was so freely giving. When he awoke, he was flat on his back. However, you were flat in your front, splayed out on top of him, snoring lightly into the crook of his neck. One of his arms held you there, the other behind his head as an extra cushion.

His body felt tight, and a stretch surged through him before he could stop it, his body shifting and jostling you awake. Your eyes opened, looking around disorientedly before they came to focus on him. A sleepy smile graced your features as you looked down at him.

“G’morning,” Danny’s voice was filled with sleep still, slightly gravelly, rumbling from his chest, the feeling was something you wanted to memorize. He, on the other hand, was memorizing your smile, the way your wavy hair had frizzed slightly in the night.

“Morning,” yawning, you propped your chin on his chest. Danny’s hand came up from your back, twisting a strand of your hair. The now loose wave spun around his finger effortlessly.

“I like your hair like this.” Danny murmured. As you opened your mouth to respond, a soft smile forming around your words,, someone rapped their fist against the fabric of your tent.

“Up and at ‘em!” Olivia’s voice sang out. “We have appointments!” sighing, you removed yourself from Danny, your body missing him instantly. Danny felt the loss just as badly, and had you been his really, he would’ve pulled you back to him, hunkering down into the warmth and never coming back up for air.

Packing up, everyone piled their things back into the vans. Danny offered you an earbud again, and this time you let him play whatever he wanted, just happy to ignore Gavin and Naomi in the backseat. Getting back to the vineyard, Danny took your bag along with his, carrying them up the stairs for you.

“I’m gonna hop in the shower, then I have to meet Olivia downstairs for the spa.” you told Danny once back in your room.

“Okay,” he nodded. “Mike asked me to run into town with him. We should be back before you guys are done, but just in case I’m still gone, I promise I didn’t just run off.” you smiled.

“You’re the last person I would think to do that.”

“Good,” there was another small silence, yet it didn’t feel awkward at all. You left it at that, heading into the bathroom to wash the camping events off of you. You were almost sad, taking off the sweater Danny loaned you, knowing you’d have to give it back. Folding it gently and setting it on the bathroom counter, you finished undressing before stepping into the shower, wondering if there was any way you could possibly bargain with Danny to keep it after the weekend was over.

Taglist: (feel free to add yourself!)

@joshsindigostreak @sinners-go-to-drink-the-wine @ascendingtostardust @sammysprincess @sammykiszkamyass @belovedsamuel @sunfl0wer-power @indigo-starcatcher @sammyscherub @earthlysorrows @allieisacrybaby @losfacedevil @xserenax-13 @sarakay-gvf @shutupdevvie @myownparadise96 @watchingovergvff @gretavanfleetposts @josiee-gvf @joshkiszkatoothgap @madneedshelp @gardensgatedaisy @demonrat444 @dannyandthekiszkas @tearsofbri @paleshadow-ofadragon @happy-harpy-stuff @like-a-woman-in-a-dream @starshine-wagner @objectsinspvce @josh-iamyour-mama @mountain-in-springtime @cal-a-bungaa @capturethechaos @gvfpal

@allybjt @hippievanfleet @weightofbrokenbells @joshkiszkasbadussy @malany-gvf @ruby0antlers @samofthedawn @sacredjake @aim4thedoublee @diditallforyouu @gvfmarge @highladyofasgard @sammysvanfeet @gold-mines-melting @earthgrlsreasy @mountain-in-springtime @forcebond301 @stardust-and-shadows @llightmyllovee @gretavangroupie @comesofarsomehow @infinisonicosm @indigofallingsky @hellowgoodbye @hearts-hunger @fwzco @dharma-divine33 @lightsofthe-living-gvf @ascendingtothestarsasone @klarxtr @ofthecaravel @musicspeaks @radmads-gvf @the-starcatcher @shineforever19 @earthgrlsreasy @demonrat444 @misshunnybee @valleydollgvf

#danny wagner #danny wagner x reader #greta van fleet #josh kiszka #jake kiszka #sam kiszka #breakable heaven fic #danny gvf #danny wagner fanfiction

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teruel-a-witch · 1 year

Text

i've seen a fair share of fic dealing with amnesia!steve but what about amnesia!danny? i just accidentally wrote this half headcanon-half fic

what if after the adrenaline runs out he actually collapses in steve's arms in 4x19 and when he wakes up the last and only thing he remembers is steve and him confessing their love for each other.

naturally with steve holding a constant vigil by his bedside and being his emergency contact and the one in whose care they release him to after the hospital stay and everyone calling them partners, he assumes they are together together and because of how they are with each other no one notices that that's the conclusion he came to for a while.

when danny first woke up, smiled flirtatiously at steve and said 'hey gorgeous' steve just laughed in relief with barely contained tears and made a crack about danny being really out of it.

then when it turned out danny has temporary amnesia while steve seems to be the only one he feels safe and familiar with, it's only natural that he took danny home after they released him from the hospital. a little selfish part of steve enjoyed that his connection to danny was stronger than melissa's which meant he got to have danny for himself but the bigger part of him just missed his best friend.

it doesn't help that amnesiac!danny dialed up his natural flirtatiousness but steve just explains it away as danny not having his usual inhibitions in check. the doctor said it was important to bring danny home and surround him with comfort and familiarity to speed up his recovery so everything falls away in the face of that.

the one thing that knocks steve off his rocker is when danny comes downstairs one morning and greets him with a peck on the lips before making a beeline for the coffeepot.

'what's wrong?' he asks, concerned at steve's dead stupor.

'why did you just do that?'

'what? kiss my boyfriend? is that not usually how i greet you in the morning? i know you've been careful with me because you didn't want to violate my agency or whatever but this whole physical distance thing isn't exactly going to help us reconnect as a couple.'

as realization hits, steve shakes his head with a sad chuckle, he's used to other people assuming they are a couple but it hurts extra that as an outsider even danny came to that conclusion, just steve's luck that the only circumstances that danny considers that possibility is when he's not himself.

it's danny's turn to be confused. he was so sure. 'but...but... everyone says we are always together and are partners wink-wink, i practically live at your house. plus, i've seen the way you look at me, i know I'm attracted to you and clearly you feel the same, not to mention my clearest memory is you telling me you love me and me returning the sentiment'.

'i don't know what to tell you, danny. we are not a couple.' '

'and why not?'

'because you don't feel that way about me.' steve's voice breaks at the end of that sentence.

danny puts his hand over steve's heart 'except I do, babe.'

steve shakes his head 'you don't mean that, you are not yourself right now. you are just confused'.

'i may be confused about most of things in my life right now, but not my feelings for you. our connection is the only thing that feels real right now, and from the way you don't deny it, i know you feel it too, so what's stopping you?'

'i can't take advantage of you, i care about you too much to do that. please don't look at me like that, I'm not rejecting you.'

danny sniffs 'sure feels like rejection to me.'

as he turns to leave steve grabs his arm 'can we please revisit this topic after you have your memories back?'

'what if they never do?? you just don't want me without them, admit it.'

steve presses their foreheads together 'oh, danny, no, i will always want you. i just need this to be real, please?'

***

the first time danny yells at steve about being a reckless idiot steve knows his danny is back. having a willing and affectionate danny in close proximity and not being able to do anything about it was torture, but not having the partner he knows and loves by his side was so much worse.

'i love you'

danny stops mid rant 'i love you, too'

'despite knowing me so well? really?'

danny puts his arms around steve's neck 'yes. because i know you, it's real.'

and then they kiss, finally. for real.

#mcdanno #h50 headcanons #myh50 #this was supposed to be a short post that grew #h50 #h50 4x19 #mcdanno au #h50 scenarios #amnesia!danny #science and medical stuff is handwaved it's not important #this is barely proofread and idk if it's coherent idk anymore #mcdanno tropes #feel free to tackle the topic if anyone wants mine is just a suggestion #hawaii five 0 #not fic #spur of the moment #stream of consciousness

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ectoplasmic-entity · 4 months

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Can I request a platonic Dark Danny with a sibling!GN reader. After Danny became dark Danny and left, (y/n) was devastated of the disappearance of her last family member. Years later when (y/n) finally reunites with Dan again, Dan expects them to be scared of him and hate him but instead he’s taken aback when they hug him and tell him how much they missed him.

Back from the dead yall! Blame the somewhat perfectionist writer in me (¬_¬")

At the very least, I wanted to post by / before the new year. This is my longest one yet, anon, I do hope you like it.

Genre: Gen + Emotional Hurt/Comfort

Rating: K+

Content Warnings: Implied/referenced character death

Words: 5.1k+

Gone.

Just like that.

It hits you harder than you expect. You may not have been blood siblings, the bond you share is just as intimate and powerful. For all intents and purposes, you’re as much of a sibling to Danny as Jazz was an older sister to him.

The events that transpired are still muddy in your mind. In one moment, it seems like you have your life together. In the next, it’s all gone in one fell swoop in a bright orange haze.

Unbearable heat forms in your body. Your breath shudders in terror as it violently shoots through you. You stiffen, awaiting a fiery death that never comes.

Your tired eyes crack open to survey the dark room. Still and quiet with the cool night soothing it. It stands exactly as you left it, and expect it will be for the rest of your life. You squeeze your eyes shut in disgust.

How dare such thoughts worm into your mind.

You hardly notice that you don’t fight the notion. Your gut clenches painfully. You cast your gaze downwards, avoiding the facts standing there, staring at you right in the face.

A thin layer of dust settles in the empty room. Still and undisturbed. As if a lifetime has passed in the blink of an eye, even though Danny left about a month ago. His presence has already begun to wane in his own home.

Quiet whimpers shake your body, you wrap your arms around you tightly. Clinging onto the remnants of your makeshift family. Your body rocks back and forth as you hug yourself tighter, like sand through fingers, they fade from your memory. A fog fills your head, it’s only the reminder that you’re standing in Danny’s room that you cling onto your family.

A single teardrop jolts you out of your exhausted mind. You blankly stare as more and more tears drop, rhythmically splattering on your skin. You weren’t sure you could cry anymore. You couldn’t even bring yourself to cry when Danny left.

A quiet, eerie creak pulls you out your stupor once more. A darkness enshrouds you, your eyes throb in dull pain, forcing you to keep them closed shut.

Another creak.

You survey the room again through bleary eyes. You slowly, mechanically move in one direction, your soles plant firmly on the floor. Rigid muscles that refuse to loosen keep your limbs locked in place. Your shoes shuffle loudly on the wooden floorboards. The darkness follows you wherever you go, just on the edge of your vision.

You aren’t sure why you’re doing this. You find yourself facing the empty doorway, directly across from the bed frame behind you. You breathe deeply, the fresh air clears your throat, and it floods with emotion.

Half shuttered eyes linger on the door, as if you expect Danny to walk through any moment.

Your hand becomes a fist, it quivers with suppressed emotion. You take a few steps back, as far from the door as possible. You continue to stare at it in spite of the reality.

The back of your legs meets the angled, metal edges of the bed frame. Pain tingles up your legs. It's only then you realize the strength fades from your body. You remain upright because you know you'll have an uncomfortable landing on the metal frame behind you if you give in.

Tense quiet looms over you. Your body tilts as you choke down more whimpers, a grin split across your face. Your eyes sting with fresh tears, your breath quickens. Melancholic nostalgia tugs at you, a heaviness presses down on your chest.

A bang startles you, it echoes through the empty house. You remain silent. Your eyes go from the door and peer around in search of the source. Your heart hammers in your chest, yet you remain as still as possible. You don’t want to move; your body weighs down heavily with emotion and exhaustion.

The footsteps sound throughout the home. Fast and light. You shakily breathe in a mix of relief and indignation.

A vaguely familiar voice calls out your name. You perk up with mild interest. It’s so far away and, at the same time, reaches your ears in no time at all. You wonder if whoever it is knows where you are. Not surprising considering how you’ve been behaving in the last month.

You hear your name again, louder and clearer than you can recall.

You hear the footsteps right outside the door, quick but heavy. As if whoever it was had run a marathon. You scrunch up your nose in irritation, you aren’t a small child anymore.

Goosebumps tingle down your body as the presence of another individual enters the empty bedroom, though the space seems to stretch itself out. You barely acknowledge your visitor, your mind still in another plane of consciousness. Unwilling to pull yourself back to reality and face it again.

Down below, on the dusty, creaky floorboards, a pair of white sneakers cross into the threshold of your vision. You jolt back in surprise when a pair of hands grab your shoulders, you instinctively back away. Cutting pain shoots up your legs when they thump against the wiry bed frame that rattles eerily. You shiver in discomfort as you slowly tilt your head up.

Hazel eyes, dark and smooth skin, and thick, curly brown hair that seamlessly blend with orange and yellow. Valerie Gray stares down at you, brows crinkle and lips tight with worry. She breathes heavily, clearly, she was seeking you out.

The two of you stare at each other for several seconds, her hands never loosen their grip. Like you’ll disappear again if she does.

Then, finally, Valerie breaks the silence first. “I knew I’d find you here.”

Spoken all in one breath. You wonder if she ran across town looking for you.

“Yeah, well…” you mumble out, sounding not all that caring.

Valerie lightens her grip, but not so much so that you can slip away. She takes a step back with her arms straight and firm.

“You know coming here isn’t gonna bring him back, right?” She asks lightly.

You shrug your shoulders. They’re heavy, even with or without Valerie’s hands there. Your muscles must be sore, or perhaps a phantom weight of other things that can’t quite physically touch you. You inhale shakily, a familiar motion wells up inside you, uncomfortably twisting and pulling at you. You involuntarily inhale again, this time through your nose. It’s loud and rough, like a sniffle.

“Come on, moping around’s not gonna help you.” Valerie says with one of her brows rising.

You stay silent, your head dips back down to avoid eye contact. Too emotionally worn to argue with her, to expend your energy on anything else other than grief. Your body sways forwards as Valerie tugs on your shoulders, pulling you towards her. Your feet automatically shuffle along the floorboards.

You slowly trudge out of the bedroom, head hardly tilting to look around one last time. Empty, an odd sense of serenity that settles where memories used to be. A shadow seeps on to the edge of your vision, as if blotting out any remnant of this house. You try not to think about it, but you fear forgetting them if you leave. That’s why you keep coming back here, no matter how much it hurts.

Fresh, cool evening air blows across your skin and through your hair as you finally step outside. You violently shiver, even though it isn’t that cold, as it’s only mid-spring. Your eyes squeeze themselves shut again, your face tight with emotion. You and Valerie go down the stone steps, onto the street. You wobble slightly, you might as well be stepping into the void and falling.

Falling and falling.

---

You blearily open your eyes. Dull light streaks through the makeshift shutters, cutting through the darkness. Same as always. You have limited time until it fades again, in spite of what time of day it may be. Not that you can tell anymore, it’s been so long. It was necessary in order to survive a somewhat barren world.

You heft yourself up to your feet. Your body is inexplicably heavy, even with how thin you are. Your chest itches with curiosity at why that could be. In a moment of clarity, you get the sense that someone is missing. Like they should be here, right next to you.

You don’t have anyone. Haven’t for many years at this point. Your family all but gone, and friends who come and go faster than the supplies you have on hand. Yet, there is still that inkling of someone missing.

Breath shuddering dryly, you shake the thoughts away. The focus needs to be here and now. Namely, scrounging for supplies. You are only a single person and somehow the supplies get used up quickly. You sigh heavily, peering at the outside world in between the shutters, you’d honestly prefer not go back out there. The world out there is not the same world in your head.

Still… you’d rather feel comfortable when the end does inevitably come, as selfish as it sounds.

You make your way towards the only entrance of your shelter, retreading the same path you always walk. A neat, narrow path with surrounding junk that stack up against the walls in an orderly fashion. A path so dusty and beaten down you can see the indents of your shoes permanently etching into the floor.

After carefully weaving your way through the mess, ever so mindful to not disturb the dangerously wobbling piles, you reach the door. You don’t bother with your hands, instead using your shoulder to push it open. Better hurting your shoulder than losing a hand. With some effort, the door slowly and loudly squeaks open. The dull light glares directly at you, right into your shelter, brightly lighting it up.

You stumble forward when the door swings open, tripping over your own feet. Your hands splay out to keep yourself from falling, they plant themselves firmly on the ground. They make an indent into the dirt underneath, soft and dry. Your arms quiver from the force of the impact, but you’re proud that you didn’t accidentally hurt yourself.

Inhaling deeply, you scrunch up your nose at the dryness. It’s thick and suffocating, it makes your throat scratchy and taste like chalk. Forcefully coughing to ease the disgusting sensation, you cover your face and slowly stand upright.

You start walking, your legs carry you in spite of the harsh landscape. Everything may have been reduced to rubble, you still mostly remember where everything once was.

Your wandering takes you to a wide, deserted road. Crumbling remains of buildings lie on all sides. Few cars lay in abandon, twisting heaps of metal. They are few and far in between, cars became a rare commodity at this point in time.

You head to the side of the street. Amongst the ruins, few buildings remain upright. They’re technically classed ‘unsafe’ since they’re in danger of collapsing. It’s not like the fallen debris was any better either, environmental hazards and whatnot. A cracking, grimy sign hangs above a storefront that was only in partial collapse. A hardware store, you smile slightly at the sense of irony.

Broken windows in the front with cracking foundations, the fractures streak around the stone like a spider’s web. Twisting and spiralling to consume the space it claims.

Approaching the doors, you hesitate before you enter. Past the doors, back into the darkness again.

The hardware store is in an even worse state than your little shelter ever could be. Shattered glass crunches under your shoes, bits and pieces of tools and equipment rattle about as you try to navigate your way through the mess. It’s tightly cluttered and, dare you think it, claustrophobia inducing. The further you move into the shop, the more faint the outside lights become, the massive wave of junk swallowing it up.

Nothing of note gets your attention. Far too messy, you doubt you’ll find anything of use before the daylight fades. Anything that would’ve been useful is in discernible pieces scattered throughout the shop. You kick your feet at the piles of scrap, dust flies up into the air in a grey cloud. Metal clatters loudly, clashing with each other and onto the floor.

The shop is a complete dud. Looting and ransacking beyond your comprehension. You should’ve expected it; desperate times call for desperate measures.

At first, you turn towards the front with a falter in your step. You don’t want this to be all for nothing, have that crushing feeling weigh down on you. Your jaw becomes stiff and you set your shoulders. You lean backward with a look-up at the cracked ceiling, the ground level is only the hardware shop itself, the upper levels are either living quarters or offices. Chances are that the looters didn’t bother wasting time and energy exploring the upside.

You trudge through the remains, the silence disrupted by the occasional clinking of broken bits and pieces. It doesn’t matter how careful you are, there’s always something crunching underfoot. It doesn’t help that you’re farther away from the entrance, it’s much darker in the back, to the point of obscurity. The most you can see are silhouettes.

In the back of the store, there isn’t much to look at. Twisting spires and mangled heaps that were once the shelves are thrown about, spiny pieces of metal glitter dangerously in the faint light. One wrong move and you’re done for. The walls are oddly clean and intact. The looters must’ve really thought there was nothing of value beyond this point.

What really gets your attention is the singular door all in its lonesome in the corner. Dark grey and made of steel, it’s windowless with the only indicator is the sign above it. A long dead battery powered sign with the symbol of a staircase plastered on it. There is nothing else of note to it, you find it odd.

You approach it anyway. Who knows? You might find something after all.

The door handle isn’t particularly complex. Just twist and turn, it pops open. Your hands sting with effort from the metallic rim of the awkwardly placed handle. You hear something creak and crank loudly from the other side, the steel door shivers in its place. You are forced to step back as the extremity of the door flings itself open.

A rush of cool but musty air blows through you. The other side reveals… a staircase. A metallic pretzel winding in one direction. All the way up to the roof, encasing itself in complete pitch black with walls that close in a narrow path.

Once you step past the steel door, a groaning clang makes you jump with a foreboding sensation that you are stuck. Your heart accelerates and you hold your breath. The door’s only handle is on the outside, the inside is nothing but gears and cables that operate it.

The only way out is up, it’s not like you have a choice.

Even with the mounting tension that you could very well be stuck in here forever, you attempt to keep yourself steady that you might find something at the top. It’s… getting there that’s the hard part.

You let yourself fall back against the door. You breathe heavily, as if you’re fuelling the mental energy to do it. Your heart thumps against your chest, pulsing blood through you. Numbing goosebumps crawl down your body.

With trepidation, you place one foot on the first step. A ringing rattle echoes through the darkness. The structure shivers ominously, but remains firm. Exhaling softly with cautious relief, you bring your other foot forward. Both of your hands clutch the railing to keep yourself upright. The metal vibrates intensely under you, your legs bend in response. You crumple slightly, weak all of a sudden.

Shakily breathing, you hang off of one of the railings, your body slumps against the high-rise guardrails. Your hand stubbornly curls around the cylindrical girth of the railing. Straining the muscles in your arms with effort, you slowly pull yourself up. You grip the rails more tightly to stay standing. Beneath you, your knees quiver and nearly buckle with the phantom sensation of the floor becoming soft.

One step at a time. That’s all it takes, one after the other. The staircase still rattles dangerously, however, you keep your cool. The ground below slowly vanishes the higher you go up. You never did take into account how tall the building actually is.

You know for sure the stairs will take you straight to the roof. You don’t know when you’ll get there, it’s perpetually pitch-black no matter how high up you are. Step after step, you try not to think about it, otherwise you’ll lose your focus. You waver slightly, the black swallows up everything around it, you have just the railing to guide you.

Every step prompts you to take a breath. Breathe. In and out.

---

You reach the very top with little fanfare. It may be dark, you have that inkling deep in your gut, you just know. Your legs are tense with anticipation and numb from the impromptu exercise session the stairs give you. Your chest moves in rapid succession with how fast you’re panting.

Reaching out in front of you, a smooth, steel surface greets the palm of your hand. Your hand trails along the surface, tiny grains of dry paint painlessly scrape your skin. It’s soothing in a way.

Your hand finds the doorknob, grasping around it like it’s a lifeline. You flex your fingers to be certain it’s actually there. The knob twists around, you hear a squeak.

You exhale in relief with a small, wry smile. Your chest becomes taut with apprehension. You feel silly for accomplishing something incredibly basic. You sigh and push the door open, it groans loudly from years of disuse. The familiar gust of a chalky tasting dryness blows directly into your face.

After a bout of harsh coughing, you focus on the view before you. Flat and open, still empty as ever. The receding rays of light indicate to you, it’s not going to last for much longer. It’s haunting, a dead and grey city with its last remnants of life sucking from it. The rays reflecting off of the windows are little sparks of life left, they too fade, the strings too weak to hold it.

Then, in the corner of your eye, you swear you see something move. Just a shadow, maybe, but in this world, nothing is what it seems. Your breath hitches in your throat. Your heart accelerates, you move not even an inch.

Several minutes pass without incident. You peer from the corner of your eye again; a shadowy blur is still on the edge of your vision. It hasn’t moved at all.

You glance around, shadows cast by the walls and the tall ventilation shafts do provide cover. There are wide stretches of complete exposure, however. You’d have to quickly dart between them. It’s not much, but as long as you lie low, you won’t be seen.

In fleeting, a thought passes through your mind. You stiffen with realization. Shuffling to the nearest wall, you press yourself against it. Your body still turns in the direction where you saw the shadowy blur moving. You don’t know if it’s human or a ghost. The thought has your hands turn into fists and press into the brick wall.

No use running away now. You might as well find out. Edging as close as you can to the corner of the wall, you lean just far enough to get a quick glimpse. Right there, on the very edge, you spot a humanoid silhouette. You sense a faint energy around it.

An ice-cold blanket covers your body. An overwhelming sensation weighs down on you, your head inexplicably aches with emotion. You breathe deeply to steady yourself, careful to do so quietly so that the ghost doesn’t hear you. For now, it seems like the ghost isn’t even aware you’re nearby.

A few minutes and nothing. Instead, you think you hear soft sounds. A sob-like sound that chokes back, as though they’re holding back tears. You bite your lip with a flicker of uncertainty. It’s not every day you come across a ghost in such an emotional state.

Curiosity blooms in your chest, nagging at you the longer you stand there. It… couldn’t hurt to check out this ghost. They might not even be hostile.

You edge your way towards the corner of the wall. Your body slides along the rugged brick surface, the lumps and sharp edges dig into you. The discomfort travels up to your throat, sickly fulfilling, and you feel you can’t breathe. The wariness crawls down your body like a cobweb being spun around you, a disgusting, sticky sensation settles onto your exposed skin. A sense of coldness makes itself known, your skin clammy. You anxiously flex your fingers and rub your hands together.

Why do you feel so… afraid? Afraid of what you might find?

First, you inch yourself around the corner, if only to get a visual. The silhouette is still there, still as a statue. Viciously quashing down any doubts that attempt to halt you in your tracks, you hold your breath as you slowly put one-foot forwards. Your other foot follows, step after step, in a monotonous rhythm.

Stepping out of the shadow of the wall, you feel very naked. You can’t stop yourself now, your legs move on auto. Quiet footsteps fill the stillness. The silhouette grows in size the closer you get. You get the impression they’re actually taller than you initially think. The oddly familiar black and white form crouches over, a long, shrouding cape wraps around the figure.

Their face is hidden by their hands. Snowy white hair flows like a flame from their head, snapping and crackling loudly with whatever this ghost was feeling. Oddly specific, but you do know this particular shade of white.

A thought worms into your mind. It’s a slim possibility, though you can’t help it. That same feeling of someone missing in your life.

Rattling metal shatters the silence. A pile of scrap scatters around the cement, you never even saw it was there. You jump back; a gasp catches in your throat. Your body tenses and vibrating courses through you, an unpleasant metallic taste floods your throat. Your limbs violently quiver, some part of you screams at you to turn and run. Your heart vigorously pounds your chest, sickly hot rushes through you as an overload of blood pumps through your body.

Just a few feet away, the figure finally perks up for the first time. Slowly standing up while the hands remove themselves, you find yourself staring at a pair of piercing red eyes. Eerily glowing in the grey haze. You still hardly make out the face.

The figure slowly walks towards you, you hear the soft thuds of deliberately heavy footsteps. You feel you’re glued to the spot, trembling with adrenaline, and yet you can’t make yourself move. Little by little, the figure’s face unveils in the barely perceptible light. For a second, you think you recognize the angular facial shape and sturdy jaw.

Your legs weaken in apprehension, your throat swells and fills with emotion, yet you’re firmly stuck to the spot. You watch in silent agitation as the figure comes closer. The details grow more and apparent to you. Your throat burns with words you want to ask, you stay quiet.

The heavy aura that presses down on you greets you with the visual of a painfully recognizable emblem. Your eyes wander up further to a face you’d recognize anywhere. Your heart skips a beat, or two, while shock rushes down your body like cold water. A name catches on your tongue, you don’t have the energy to say it.

The red eyes that stare you down slowly widen in surprise, a flash of familiarity flickers through them. His mouth moves without sound before he tenses his jaw. Sharp fangs glint faintly in the pale light.

Restless silence seemingly stretches on for hours, not a word from either of you. In actuality, it’s only been a few minutes. Then, a deep, not quite familiar voice speaks.

“Why are you still here?” He looks down at you, brows lightly creasing.

The phrase rings in your head. You heard it many a time before. It plays like a song, you never tire of it. Your breath hitches, your heart jumps to your throat.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” You challenge quietly.

Your limbs jitter with emotion, numbing and fulfilling at the same time. You’re sure of it now. The anticipation you feel coursing through you is unlike anything you felt beforehand. A cluster of warmth forms in your body, blooming with emotions you hide deep down. It surges to the forefront in full force.

Without thinking, you leap forward with your arms stretching out. They latch around his body; your fingers instinctively intertwine. You tighten your hold, this is him for certain.

You feel him grow still, then stiffen. Like he didn’t expect you to hug him. He says your name, low and rough.

You slightly tilt your head. You’d rather keep your face hidden, your eyes sting with fresh tears.

“You’re not scared of me?” He asks incredulously.

“Of you?” You repeat with a loud sniffle. “Don’t be silly, I could never be scared of my own brother.”

A pair of hands hold your shoulders. You then realize just how cold they are, how cold he actually is. The hands squeeze, as if he’s uncertain whether to push you away or not.

“Da-” you start, for him to sharply cut you off.

“I’m not him anymore,” he says, fangs baring. “I’m not who you once knew.”

Before you can reply, he firmly pushes you to the side and walks away. You stand by in complete shock as his form begins to fade back into the darkness. Your head snaps in his direction, your heart hammers in terror.

You can’t-

You can’t lose him again.

“Just like when you thought we’d leave you because you weren’t human anymore?” You state boldly.

He abruptly stops, his form stiller than a statue. Just like before. His shoulders strain with the amount of force he applies to his hands. They ball up into tight fists, shivering. His head bends back a little, his face crunches in frustration and a sliver of amusement.

You stare at him, eyes wide and tingling with unshed tears. You hold your breath, unwilling to break your focus. That he’ll be gone in a blink if it does.

He turns back around on his heel, eyes hard, and stare right into your soul. You exhale shakily and hastily blink your eyes. Wetness pools in the corner of your eyes, disrupting the view of a dark shape coming towards you. You pay little mind; your breath quickens and grows shakier with each intake.

Hands hold your shoulders and direct you somewhere, your sense of direction is dull. Your legs move without protest. There is still a lot you still need to take in and process.

Your body settles down to something sturdy, relaxing with your legs swaying about from a ledge. You sit back with your arms behind you, you still breathe shakily. Every breath seems to draw out the tears. They slowly drip down your face, the streaks drying as soon as they form. You’re faintly aware of someone sitting next to you, silent and comforting.

The persistently unfamiliar voice breaks the silence again.

“I’m surprised you don’t hate me,” he says bluntly.

You shutter your eyes to get your bearings again. They flick to the side for a quick glimpse of his visage.

“Da…” you stop yourself. If he doesn’t want you to call him ‘Danny’, then you honestly aren’t sure what to call him otherwise.

He picks up on your hesitation. “Dan.”

That doesn’t even sound like him.

“What happened to you?”

You avoid meeting his gaze, looking down at yourself. At the moment, you’re nearly glad that the grey haze obscures him from you.

“I don’t think you’d understand,” Dan says with a deep, drawn out sigh.

It strikes a chord in you. He’s still there, even if it’s just a tiny fragment. You squint your eyes for a second, hardly caring that tears continue to flow.

“You disappeared,” you say quietly.

Dan looks down at you, his eyes narrow and his body still with apprehension. The ledge you both sit on seemingly tilts. Unease makes your stomach drop. Slow, steady breaths that display immense control emit from Dan.

“After…” Dan’s voice fades. He shakes his head, eyes shut tight.

The memory of losing his family still hurts him. You lean to the side, your hand inches towards him. You want to hold him and comfort him. Dan starts again, you hastily draw your hand away from his.

“I was lost. You know, in my head. It messes with you and after a while, you… start to forget some stuff,” Dan says slowly, clearly uncertain if he wants to delve into it more. “It… numbed some pain.”

You nod along quietly, letting Dan have his moment first. You feel it’s appropriate, since this isn’t necessarily about you.

“You sure you don’t hate me?” Dan asks, ripping you from your mental musing.

“How could I?” You say, breath hitching with held back sniffles.

Your hands clench the metallic ledge tightly, it digs into your hands. You can’t let go, otherwise you may as well as be in a free fall. Your body aches with years of emotions of all kinds. Some of it is unpleasant, a hot acidic spray that burns the back of your throat. Others are deeper, reaching deep into your mind and pushes the tears to your eyes. You shrink into yourself.

Fat, slick tears stream down your face. Your body twitches in discomfort, you inhale deeply to swallow down the emotions. They drop into your stomach like lead. Your breath stutters as the uncomfortable sensation of what feels like bloating fills your stomach.

“You lost your family,” you say hoarsely. “I lost you, I lost my brother.”

Your facial muscles pull and burn as more and more tears streak down your cheeks with the intensity of a waterfall. You raise a hand to your chest, you stare blearily at it through the teardrops. Without a second thought, you throw your full weight to the side.

“I missed you, you jerk…” you croak, words and throat thick with emotion.

Dan grunts loudly in surprise when you latch onto him with a hug, he leans back to absorb the impact. Your arms are firm and secure around his neck, you exhale weakly in relief. Dan’s arms slowly wrap around your shoulders, occasionally twitchy but gentle.

He’s been silent the entire time. Words aren’t necessary.

They will be at some point.

But it’s better than nothing at all.

#danny phantom #fanfiction #dan phantom #platonic reader #platonic #sibling reader #gender neutral reader #gen fic #emotional hurt/comfort #tumblr writers #fanfiction community #fanfiction blog #dark danny #phanfic #dp fic #danny phantom fanfiction

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underforeversgrace · 11 months

Text

memory of what may have been and never will be

DannyMay2023 Day 25: Blame

title: memory of what may have been and never will be

words: 3962

Summary: Valerie Gray from ten years in the future falls through a natural portal, landing in the past. Unable to get home, she decides to do the best thing she can - kill Danny Phantom. (TUE Timeline Valerie)

Idea from this post by @danphanwritingprompts: Valerie travels to the past to prevent the future of The Ultimate Enemy by killing Danny Phantom.

Warnings: None!

Beta: probably-dead

Also on AO3

~~~~~~

Valerie groaned, holding one hand to her nauseous stomach and covering her eyes with the other, irritated by the brightness, as she lay on what felt like cracked concrete.

What the hell just happened? She wondered, pushing herself up, mentally taking catalog of any aches or injuries on her body, relieved when she found none, other than the headache and nausea. She settled into a sitting position, keeping her eyes firmly closed until the spinning in her mind settled and took several deep breaths to collect herself.

When she decided she was no longer at risk from hurling up her lunch, she opened her eyes.

Only to be greeted by a confusing sight, one she hadn’t seen in nearly a decade. She was in Amity Park, but… it looked like it did when she was in high school, before Phantom had shown his true colors. And his true strength. She called her hoverboard to her, raising up into the sky, trying to remember the past several minutes.

She’d been flying when her board had just… disappeared, short circuited or something, something it’d never done before. And she’d fallen.

She vaguely remembered a swirling green circle beneath her and the sensation of jumping into a pool in winter. A natural portal? Had she fallen through one? She’d read through the Fentons research so many times in the years since their deaths, she knew it had been a theory they never got around to testing - that the Ghost Zone didn’t follow the same linear timeline as Earth did.

Had she fallen through a natural time portal? When was she?

She rose higher, scanning the area for notable features. She saw the Nasty Burger and breathed a sigh of relief. Phantom hadn’t gone on his killing spree until over a year after the restaurant explosion. Her eyes finally settled on a nearby billboard - Amity Park, Most Haunted Town in America! it proclaimed. They hadn’t had that title until after the ghosts had started coming, there to fight Phantom - though he was still known as Invisobill back in those days.

Okay, so she was somewhere in her freshman year of high school. That’s a fun thought. She wondered if it was before or after the Axiom incident - if her current self was the airhead or the hero.

Confident she now had a rough approximation of where - and when - she was, she frowned. Now what? Whatever portal she’d fallen through had disappeared. She had no idea how to go home.

She paused for a moment, returning her gaze to the billboard. Did she even want to go home? To the apocalypse happening beyond the shield?

Or she could stop it. She could stop the future ahead of her, of the world.

Phantom couldn’t destroy the world if she destroyed him. Sure, she’d tried to do that when she was still a new hunter, but she had nearly a decade of experience under her belt now. She was older, stronger, wiser.

The Phantom of this era had held back his attacks against her, she had learned that a long time ago, when he’d stopped doing so, when he’d started going for blood, for her life. All she had to do was find him and she could wipe away that future, wipe away all that pain and suffering. She’d probably wipe herself away, too - this version of herself, at least - but she didn’t mind that.

The new future she’d create would be better for her, even if this her faded into never-existence. She’d never stop fighting, whatever the future held, she knew that. But she could stop fighting the end of the world, come to them in the form of a ghost in a too-tight HAZMAT.

Phantom of this era had been good, though. She’d realized it the same time she realized how much he held back against her. This version of Phantom could be manipulated.

She’d always wondered what happened, to be honest. One day Phantom was playing up being a superhero and then he murdered the newly orphaned Danny Fenton in his new home in Wisconsin. He’d come here after and slaughtered some of her other classmates.

Valerie would never forget how Dash screamed up until Phantom had finally ripped his throat out. He’d grabbed Paulina and dropped her from even higher than the skyscrapers. Star he’d grabbed and phased into the ground, killing her the second he made her tangible again.

And Valerie had been stuck there, beaten within an inch of her life. Even now, she didn’t know why he’d spared her. Why he’d targeted the A-List that day.

He hadn’t targeted anyone specific after that, despite basically running kamikaze strikes nearly every day after, demolishing buildings and causing mass casualty and panic. She suspected the panic was his goal, up until they’d gotten the shield up and his reign of terror over Amity had ended. The rest of the world hadn’t been so lucky.

He could have killed all of them in a day, she’d realized. That first day was forever imprinted into her brain, the violence and fear. The knowledge that Phantom knew her secret identity.

But… where to start? She had never known how Phantom managed to disappear and reappear from her ghost tracking tech, that still was an unknown. Should she just fly around until something happened? Should she try to find herself from this time, if she was the Huntress yet?

A blip alerted on her tracking equipment, pulling her from her thoughts. She hesitated. She didn’t know which ghost this was - her equipment had never been that detailed, she just knew it was a ghost. Could she make the future worse if she did something wrong?

An old memory pushed itself to the forefront. Phantom, on the other side of the shield, head tilted to the side and a grin on his face that made her feel like prey.

No. She couldn’t make it worse. She could only make it better. It was Phantom’s fault her life was like this - from the ghost hunting to living within a domed city like a dystopian novel.

Decision made, she shot off, following the tracker on her arm.

She pushed the hoverboard faster when Phantom came into view, not far in front of her, and she saw where Phantom was most likely going. An apartment complex on the border between Elmerton and Amity Park - where the people with just barely enough to stay out of Elmerton lived - was engulfed in flames.

“Phantom! Huntress!” Someone called from the ground. Wow, it was weird being called Huntress again, everyone had called her Valerie since Phantom outed her all those years ago. Still, she angled her board down to the call, Phantom at her side.

It was… odd, seeing him like this. Young, a teenager probably no older than herself in this time. No malice or sadism danced in his eyes as he landed, feet on solid ground in front of the person who’d been calling them - a fireman, the fire trucks roaring behind him as it attempted to put out the inferno the complex was rapidly turning into. There was something distinctly different in that - Phantom actually touching down to the ground, not floating in place.

Phantom glanced at her cautiously, keeping his distance as they both stood in front of the man.

“Thank God you two are here,” he said. “We can’t reach the top four levels, only the bottom two, can you two sweep those floors and get out anyone who needs it?”

“On it.” Phantom said, eyeing the building then turning to Valerie, apparently not realizing the difference in her stature in the form fitting suit. “It looks like the fire is worse the lower down it is. Can you get the top two floors and I’ll get the two beneath?”

Valerie nodded, summoning her board back to her feet and speeding off, not wanting to talk in front of him but also unwilling to not answer the call for help. Phantom was right behind her, veering off and plunging through the walls on the third floor as she headed for the top and entered through a shattered window.

Immediately, she felt like the very air was burning her, smoke trying to choke her through her suit’s filter. She triggered the infrared on her suit, moving from room to room as quickly as she could.

Was this building always this big? She mumbled internally. She vaguely remembered an apartment complex near her burning down and needing to be rebuilt, so maybe this was that building?

Valerie had swept through half the top floor before she saw two figures in her infrared - human shaped and colder than the fire slowly surrounding them.

“Hello?” She yelled, running towards the figures - it looked like a parent and a child, based on their sizes.

“Help!” A woman’s voice shrieked.

“I’m coming!” She called back, blasting through the door in her way.

“Huntress!” The woman called in relief as soon as she saw Valerie, picking a child up - presumably her son - as Valerie got closer. As soon as Valerie was close enough, the woman hefted her son up higher, relief in her eyes.

“I can carry both of you, get on!” Valerie shouted, throwing her arm up protectively over her face when a sudden lick of fire lashed out towards her.

The woman didn’t protest, jumping on and sitting down, straddling the board in front of Valerie’s legs and clutching her son to her for dear life.

Valerie triggered a weapon at her shoulder and blasted clear through the wall, speeding away from the fire even as it tried to reach for her with the new oxygen source she’d fed it.

She slowed when it was safe to do so, to allow the other two to better keep their balance. She dropped them off by the fireman from earlier, several ambulances having arrived in the short time she was in the building. At least a dozen people were now out here, covered in soot, being checked over by the various EMTs. Had Phantom really already gotten that many people out?

Valerie was helping the woman and her son off the board when Phantom came flying out, two more people clutched to him. He dropped them off in front of the EMTs. “I’ve got the fifth floor, Red, the fire’s spreading! Stay out!” He shouted, almost immediately gone from sight again.

He… hadn’t looked good. Burns had dotted his jumpsuit, even oozing green in some places where she’d been able to see skin. Regardless, she listened to him, helping the firefighters when they handed her a hose and asked her to see if she could get some of the higher levels.

Several tense minutes passed as they fought to force the inferno into submission, Phantom appearing twice more with people in his arms.

“I’ve got everyone.” She heard him say to the firefighter. She dropped down beside him, handing the hose back to the firefighters as she did so, the fire contained even as the building continued to smoke.

Phantom really didn’t look good. His hair looked black with soot, every white part of his jumpsuit likewise changed.

Something looked… familiar. She couldn’t place it but it was like a forgotten memory, tugging at her heart. Also, had Phantom always breathed? She wondered, watching the rapid rise and fall of his chest as he coughed, doubling over where he stood. She just stood there, silently, trying to figure out her next move. This Phantom still had fans, people who liked him, who would hate the Red Huntress for killing him.

No, she couldn’t do it here, surrounded by all these people they’d just saved. Looking at his soot-blackened hair and watching him wheeze for air, though… suddenly her resolve started to slip. She hesitated. How could this be the same Phantom who’d set a building on fire, a daycare, and laughed at the screams?

He looked at her when he finally stopped coughing, curiosity on his face.

“You good, Phantom? Do you need to see the EMTs? Er, I mean…” The fireman started.

Phantom laughed, which quickly turned into another wheeze and a quick cough. “Forget I was a ghost again, Chief Hemlin?” He asked after.

The man, Hemlin apparently, smiled and shrugged. “Maybe? Anyway, thanks for your help. Again. Eventually I’m going to have to pay you or something!”

Phantom just rolled his eyes, Valerie watching the entire interaction in bafflement. She just… she couldn’t see the Phantom she knew in this Phantom.

“Thanks to you as well, Huntress.” Hemlin added, reaching out to her and shaking her hand. She just shrugged.

“Well, as fun as this has been, I probably should get out of here before Red decides to shoot me in the ass.” Phantom said, turning to her and smirking. “If she can catch up with me!” With that he was up and off, flying across the sky.

Valerie was after him in an instant, easily keeping pace with him. He turned slightly to glance at her, as though confirming she was behind him. He turned sharply and Valerie adjusted, unable to deny the thrill of chasing a ghost at high speeds again, especially as she began to catch up to him quite easily - had she gotten faster in the past eight years? - even when he dive bombed the ground.

Sh just barely managed to keep from slamming into the ground as he phased into it, but she couldn’t keep her balance, the board catching on the pavement and sending her rolling.

Ow. She grumbled mentally. Before she had the chance to do much, Phantom was in front of her, ectoblast growing in his hand and pointed towards her. Ah. This was a familiar look.

“You’re not Red. Who are you? Have you hurt her?” He asked, scowling.

That… was not a familiar statement. He sounded concerned for the Valerie he knew.

“I will ask you one more time. Did you hurt her?” He said, the ectoplasm crackling in his hand.

“How did you know?” She finally asked, still not removing her mask.

He tilted his head to the side. Again, so familiar a gesture, but so unfamiliar. He lacked the cruelty she knew, the uncontrolled sadism. He just looked confused. “You didn’t try to immediately kill me and/or didn’t blame me for setting the building on fire?” He answered.

Had she really been that gung ho to kill this kid back then? She held her hands up in surrender. “I can explain.”

“Is Valerie safe?”

“Yes.” She answered. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, he visibly relaxed, allowing the blast in his hand to dissipate. She was thoroughly and entirely confused. He knew her secret identity, knew her well enough to know she wasn’t herself, and had only been concerned with her safety. It just didn’t add up.

“Then who are you?”

Well, here goes nothing. Keeping one hand still, she slowly reached for her mask with the other, pulling it off. “Valerie Gray.”

“Huh?” He responded elegantly, the confusion nearly comical on his young face. “You… do look like her. Like you could be her older sister.”

Again holding both hands up, she slowly stood. Phantom eyed her cautiously, warily, but didn’t move to stop her. He looked almost afraid of her. Why? He could decimate her in seconds.

Oh. He was afraid of fighting her because he could kill her easily and he didn’t want to do that.

“I’m from 2014.” She answered honestly. “I feel through a natural portal. It’s what? ‘04, ‘05 now?”

“February 2005.” Phantom informed. “You’re… from the future? Do we finally call a truce or something? You’re not trying to kill me.”

“It’s a long story.” Valerie answered, starting to lower her hands. Phantom nodded, indicating she was fine. He trusted her in an instant. Why?

What the hell had happened to him?

“You’re still fighting ghosts.” Phantom said, gesturing to her red suit.

“It’s just what I do, you know what I mean. You hunt them too.”

Sadness creeped into Phantom’s green eyes. “Honestly? I… ten years and the fighting hasn’t stopped? I’d hoped they would eventually let me rest in peace. This isn’t what I want. I don’t want to fight forever.” He looked so old, so weary, in that moment, surprising Valerie. This past version of Phantom was so, so different and continued to shock her. She’d been planning to manipulate him, but… maybe the truth would suffice. This Phantom was good and pure - she routinely shot him and he refused to fight back in anything more than self defense. He wouldn’t want people to die.

“You’re the one causing the fights.” Valerie admitted.

“What? No. I hate fighting.”

“Phantom, you’ve killed people.”

“No. No, I wouldn’t!” Phantom insisted, eyes going wide in shock and fear and he backed away from her.

“I have proof.” She said, pressing at the communicator on her wrist. “Look.” She tapped at the screen on it a few times, bringing up archived footage her suit had recorded.

Phantom timidly walked over to her, glancing at her - wow he was short - then turning his attention to the screen. It had been recorded on the wrist cuff she wore, so the angle was weird.

“Okay, class,” Mr. Lancer’s replacement, Ms. Graham, said. “Today we’re starting on Of Mice and Men, so-“

She would never finish her sentence, the ceiling above her collapsing and burying her in rubble, a sickening crunch barely hidden by the sound of the concrete falling, a pool of red beginning to run from under the pile, the students screaming.

Phantom made a squeak of disgust beside her and she looked at him, his eyes wide and horrified at the scene.

“Am I late for class?” Phantom asked cruelly, dropping in from the hole he’d caused, grinning with too sharp teeth.

“Phantom!” A much younger Valerie shouted, shooting to her feet.

Valerie’s stomach turned and she looked away, unwilling to watch the nightmare she’d already lived through. She heard the screams from the recording, the sadism in Phantom’s laugh as he trapped them, as he easily took Valerie down and outed her as the Huntress before torturing Dash. She couldn’t help the shudder that went down her spine as a certain scene played.

“You always were my favorite,” Phantom cooed, pinning her by her neck with one hand while the other gently stroked her hair. “I’ll save you for last.”

“Stop. Please.” The current Phantom said, tears streaking down his face. Valerie conceded, she’d heard enough again. “What happened to me? To make me do that?”

“Honestly? I’ve been wondering that for years. No one knows. You murdered Danny Fenton in Wisconsin and then did this a month later, in April 2005.”

“I do that… in two months?” He practically whispered.

Valerie nodded. What the hell happened - uh, happens - to him in the next month?

“Wait. You said I killed Danny Fenton. I can’t have killed Danny Fenton.” Phantom said.

“He was the first person you killed, actually. Pretty violently, too. The funeral was closed casket, but I saw the damage before we buried him next to his sister.”

“Wait. Wait. No. Sister? Jazz is dead too? I would never hurt her!”

“No, you didn’t. The other three Fentons died in an accident - an explosion at the Nasty Burger.”

Phantom’s normally tan face seemed to pale, clear even under the soot still on him. “Tell me about that. Please.”

Valerie looked at him curiously. Why would he care about what happened to the Fentons? Still, she answered.

“The sauce at the Nasty Burger can explode if it gets too hot. Next month something happens and the sauce explodes, with six casualties. Only Danny survives and I don’t know how.”

“Six? Who else?” Panic was beginning to show in his tone, a ferocity and fear in his eyes she’d never seen before.

“The three Fentons, Sam Manson, Tucker Foley, and William Lancer.”

“Oh.” He said, tears sliding down his face as he crumpled, falling to his knees.

When he offered no further explanation, Valerie just continued with the story. “There wasn’t enough of any of them to really bury but they all got headstones. Danny went to live with a godfather in Wisconsin. You killed him within a month of the accident.” Valerie pushed down the anger that tried to raise in her. Despite the break up, she had really had feelings for the youngest Fenton and she’d blamed herself for his death for years, her failure to stop Phantom leading to Danny’s death.

Phantom just curled up into a ball and was slightly rocking back and forth, odd sniffles coming from him. It took Valerie a moment to realize that sound was him crying. She’d never heard the ghost cry before.

“Shoot me.” He finally said, his head tucked between his knees.

“What?” She asked. As hard as he’d fought her, this was all it took to make him give up.

“I’m sure the accident that kills them is my fault, too.” He said, self deprecation dripping from his tone like venom. “Shoot me.”

Valerie pulled a blaster from her belt, moving to stand behind him and pressing the barrel against the back of the ghost’s head, against white hair dyed black in spots from soot.

He didn’t fight back.

Something in the back of her mind kept whispering that this was wrong, that Phantom had always fought too hard to give up this easily.

“Why?” She asked, suddenly unsure if she could kill someone who was still innocent. She’d long since realized the dog that had destroyed her life wasn’t his and this version of Phantom was innocent. “Why do you become that?”

He was silent for several moments and she began to doubt he was going to answer before taking a deep breath. “I’m Danny Fenton’s ghost. He had a bad accident at the beginning of freshman year.”

“I remember. I also remember him surviving it.”

“He managed to come back, but he died long enough to create me. Danny Fenton is my humanity. Losing all of them… his humanity would’ve shattered. And mine along with it.”

“Does he know?”

“Yeah. How do you think I get all the Fenton tech?”

Again, hesitation stopped Valerie as she stared at the white hair, a soot-stained black beneath her gun. Suddenly she could see the resemblance and she recoiled, the weapon falling from her hand. “Danny?”

“His ghost.” Phantom corrected but something told Valerie he was lying, still keeping something secret. Regardless, she believed him, whatever other secrets he held. His mannerisms, his voice, the way he looked. Danny Phantom was Danny Fenton’s ghost.

…that sounds obvious, in hindsight.

“The Nasty Burger explosion causes this.” Valerie mumbled. “What if… we just save them?”

“Can we?” Phantom asked, his voice so small and young and so very clearly Danny beneath the echo that her heart ached. “Can we save them?”

“We can sure as hell try.”

He looked up at her, unshed tears in his eyes. “Okay.”

~~~~~~

A month later, after laying low and spending a lot of time in Phantom’s lair in the Ghost Zone, after preventing the Nasty Burger from exploding, she felt her body beginning to waver.

“Valerie!” Phantom called, panicked, grabbing at her hand, only for it to dissolve into nothingness. “What’s happening?”

“We did it. That future doesn’t exist anymore. And neither do I.” She smiled, a sense of peace settling within her. She’d stopped the end of the world, she’d saved people, and she’d saved Phantom’s humanity. “Goodbye.”

And then she felt her body collapse in on itself and she was no more than dust, a memory of what may have been and never will be.

#danny phantom #grace writes #dannymay2023 #Day 25 #Blame #danny fenton #Valerie Gray

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