#the money is definitely not worth it lmaoooo

[daffodilsfortomorrow]

....

[embarrasingmf]

S/O HEADCANNONS

CHARACTERS INCLUDED: dean, sam, and cas.

A/N: I got lazy writing these🤫 also I would’ve added more characters but I’m not that far into the show☹️ (I’m only on late s6 but I have a lot of spoilers LMAOOOO)

—————————————————————————

DEAN:

CIVILIAN VERSION:

- if you were a civilian, I feel like dean would try to keep his hunting life a secret from you for as long as possible.

- he doesn’t want another cassie situation to come up because he loves you so much.

- personally, I don’t feel like dean would’ve told you on his own terms, I feel like you somehow found out on your own.

- whether that be you found out he lied about whatever job he said he worked as — a job that obviously made people move around a lot, so you didn’t get suspicious — or you just found some fake IDS or some weapons you found while snooping in the Impala.

- you decided to stay, to take the risk of possibly being hunted down by the supernatural to be with dean. and to you, it was the best decision you had made in your life.

- he treats you so well for a guy who slept around a lot before he met you.

- he always tries to call you every night while he’s out of state hunting.

- I feel like he’d get you a promise ring, something to make up for the no-go decision of marriage.

- whenever he comes home from a hunt, he’s forever by your side, cuddling on the bed or the couch of your apartment. he never leaves your side, and will even stay interlocked with you if you decide to go to the kitchen, he’ll only let you go if you need to go the bathroom. (you need your privacy ofc)

HUNTER VERSION:

- dean was definitely a little hesitant to start a relationship with you, you were both hunters. that never ended well, he saw first hand from tamara and isaac.

- but, he eventually decided to just take the risk. you were one of the only people — beside sam and cas — who understood the life that you guys lived. the risks that came with it.

- dean never would’ve thought about having a domestic life, he knew that wouldn’t have worked out. he had enough experience trying to make it work with lisa and ben.

- but you, you give him a small spark of hope that there is a chance he can eventually run away from hunting and life in peace with you.

- he’d also get you a promise ring, an identical ring to the silver one he used to wear on the ring finger of his right hand.

- he’d secretly buy you cassette tapes of the type of music you like and start playing it for you when you two are alone in Baby. the smile on your face is worth every penny he spent. (if you have similar or the same music taste to dean, much like I do, he’d make a mix-tape of songs he has that remind him of you.)

- dean being with a hunter s/o would mean he isn’t that heavy on PDA, he believes that it could put a bigger target in your back than there already is.

SAM:

CIVILIAN VERSION:

- much like dean, he wouldn’t have told you at first. he didn’t want you to end up like jessica, and be strived of a full life you deserved to live.

- although, unlike dean, I feel like he’d tell you himself instead of you finding out on your own terms and possibly being pissed at him.

- sam has a habit of going to stores full of little trinkets, reason being he’d bring them to you. you have a whole collection at this point, and you don’t plan on getting rid of it.

- whenever he comes to visit, he likes to spoil you with whatever money he has from hustling pool with dean.

- around the time sam and dean get the bunker, he’d invite you to live full-time, that way he can be closer to you and not drive extra miles after a hunt just to see you. (forgot to add it, but I feel like dean would do the same thing.)

- he claimed that you could help them do research on cases since sam doesn’t want you getting into the hunter lifestyle.

HUNTER VERSION:

- I believe that sam would be more open to a relationship than dean would be, sam knows you can protect yourself. you’re a hunter.

- while on hunts, sam always makes sure to keep an eye on you and make sure you’re safe.

- sam would 100% let you chat his ear off, even if it’s about a topic he isn’t interested in.

- if you had long enough hair, sam would definitely love to play with your hair. whether that was braiding it or just running his hands through it. (totally not based off one of blondie’s headcannons haha..)

- in his free time, he likes to lay your head in his lap and read to you, it’s a moment of domesticity that he loves.

CASTIEL:

CIVILIAN VERSION:

- you two first met after he lost his grace and Dean kicked him out of the bunker.

- he wasn’t all used to being a human, and you didn’t think he was weird for it. in fact, you helped him adjust to life without grace.

- when cas got his grace back, he was worried for you. you didn’t know he was an angel and he’d eventually have to return to the Winchester brothers.

- eventually, he decided to tell you before he left. you looked a him like he was crazy, it wasn’t until he showed you his wings in the form of a shadow behind him.

- he didn’t want you to stay at the bunker, he thought there was still a chance that a supernatural being could break in and possibly hurt you.

- and that belief grew after dean became a demon and tried to kill sam in the bunker.

- much like sam, castiel would also get you little trinkets he obtained from going on hunts with sam and dean.

- I also feel like he’d bring jack over to your apartment every now and then since he’s like a son to him!

HUNTER VERSION:

- at first, you were a little wary of castiel. but when you saw how much dean and sam trusted him, you decided to let yourself like him a little more.

- cas always gave you space, he never tried to force you to like him. he always let you get used to his presence at your own pace.

- it wasn’t until cas lost his grace and was forced out of the bunker did you realize how much you actually liked having him around.

- so when he eventually returned, you started treating him more like a friend and less than a stranger you were forced to interact with.

- eventually, that friendship bloomed into a relationship between an angel and a supernatural hunter.

- if you were ever injured on a hunt, you’d be the first one he’d heal. sometimes, you’d have to force him to heal someone else because they had worse wounds than you did.

- I feel like cas would love to hold your hand, just interlocking your fingers gives him a sense of peace.

—————————————————————————

tags! : @ryvkkr @marunene

[everybodyshusband]

eueueueeuh Im reading this zine right now and your piece is so cuteeee I love the little switches between like "this is whats Going to happen" back to the present moment. and rain with the bread lmaoooo. my heart dude uuugghhhh

aaaaahhhh thank you so so much for your kind words and for buying the zine !!! i'm really glad you're enjoying my contribution to it :)) especially the tense switches oh my god i was so worried about those not making sense sdkfbksdf

to those of you who haven't bought the @home-charity-fanzine yet, i know i'm biased but it really is filled with so many works written and painted by incredible artists and definitely worth a purchase if you're able !! and all of the money raised from the zine is being donated to palestinian fundraisers and charities, so it's a win-win situation <3

[the1975attheirverybest]

No i agree, perhaps not to get stereotypical about it but I think women probs near need more intellectual stimulation whereas for a man a hot girl is a hot girl the rest doesn’t matter. Having moral/value differences is an immediate turn off. I wish it wasn’t sometimes but also fuck that ya know

Yeah, true. And that’s not to say I don’t enjoy a hot himbo lmaoooo. All women can and should go for it with a slut if they so choose. Like I have eyes and sexual desire as good as any man. But idk when it comes to long term partnership. I don’t even find “pretty” men all that desirable beyond being pretty. You know? Like let’s say I went on a date with a good looking man who happened to have money/ expensive cars and a house in LA or whatever. Or who made money off of likes on the internet. The inherent qualities of being well off and being pretty don’t make me think “oh wow I would definitely wanna see him again.” In fact some of that shit, due to rich people stereotypes, is already a strike against him. He’s gonna have to have a personality to convince me that he’s worth it.

But I guess men, or at least a considerable number of them, don’t operate in this way? I guess that’s fine as long as they are true to themselves otherwise? Idk.

I used to tell my ex that I could never see myself with anyone who didn’t appreciate art. He told me that was a young person’s pov and I’d grow out of it (he’s way older than me btw). It’s been 8 years since. I still feel this way. So I guess either I’m intellectually and emotionally stunted or it’s just my thing? Idk.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

LMAOO per your post abt tiktok I had no idea that was a thing but I’ve never seen any acc that would be you come up as a suggested account (I rarely get them anyways but when I do it’s usually like some acquaintance of sorts) so from my end youre safe o7

PLEASSEEEE “is it home wrecking if the homes already wrecked” GOODBYE

Niko having to put up with aikus shenanigans is so funny he’s taking one for the team

REAL miraverse reo>>> peregrine getting revamped into “reo is friendless” LOL

UAHAHAHA NO DW YOURE GOOD!! I have not once seen an acc that resembles anything close to what I would imagine to be you (??) no Miras or any accounts with names similar to Mira either I just see the original tiktok and whoever posted it like usual YOURE SAFE but AWEESJHS IM HONORED LMAO but there’s definitely nothing immediate that shows indicating you sent it or anything so I think you should be all good!! Even after looking through all the links you’ve shown in our convo too I’ve never had anything pop up and I doom scroll there soooo Also lowk I can’t remember how many you’ve linked outside of our convo but tbh idk how many people are reading through like the 100k words worth of convo we have so for the TikTok’s you’ve shown me you’re also probably fine

LMAOO I think I need to go recalibrate my fyp and get some yona on there omg

OAEU TIME LETS GOOOO but FR im sure inspo will strike for the req soon! Maybe you’ll get ideas while you’re writing oaeu LOL

LMAOOOO FRR THEYRE SO FUNNY I think its esp funny to think abt bc bllk is canonically live-streamed so imagine in their free time egos like “ok so bc that money grabbing tanuki needs more money yall gotta be streamers and gamers now get on YouTube”

NO FRRR I LAUGHED SO HARD I was trying to figure out wtf that was in zantetsus aura the fucking bullet train has me crying Nagi looking gorgeous and I always appreciate those villainous Karasu panels!!

- Karasu anon

OKAY YAYYY it’s only happened a couple of times for me with people on tumblr like once an anon sent a vid to me and i got the “___ shared a video with you” so i guess they might have seen me?? and just earlier i sent a video to one of my mutuals in an ask and i got a notification saying “___ viewed the video you sent” so they also might have seen my acct which ugh but at least it’s only two people 😰

LMAOO karasu is just helping natural processes along he’s not actually doing anything problematic 😩 the relationship already sucked it’s not like he’s being a bad person (not that aiku cares he’s just excited to pass along his wisdom because nobody but niko even listens to him and niko has 0 interest in getting girls so he’s alone on that front until karasu comes up to him) okay i think the aiku and niko dynamic in the oaeu might kind of be like miraverse tabiori?? like goofy siblings/slight father son vibes…i think it’s what makes the most sense for them HAHAH

half of the high school era in peregrine is just reo being like pleaseee be my friend pleaseeee like in the next chapter which i haven’t finished yet it’s revealed that reo is straight up trying to buy reader’s friendship LMAOAOA he does eventually win her over obviously but it’s not via monetary means 😭 but fr ironically (considering how she doesn’t want to be close to reo because her parents want her to marry him) reo is like the longest consistent relationship reader has in her entire life FJSKDJSH they’re like lowkey also soulmates…the funniest thing is if reader’s parents hadn’t pushed her to marry him to the point that she despised the idea they actually might’ve gotten together 😓 self sabotage on the l/n parents’ part at its finest

HELP OKAY GOOD my irl name is not actually mira but it’s uncommon enough that i wanted to come up w a pseudonym for online in case anyone i know irl found this acct…it’s pretty similar to mira so if it had come up you def would’ve been like “oh yeah this is her” JDFJSJ so that’s good 🙂‍↕️ and OFCCC i’ve become insta friends w a couple of my mutuals from tumblr once i’ve known them for a while 🤩 my rule is if we’ve been talking for enough that i feel like we would be friends irl you can get the irl socials HAHA…also very true…i think outside of our convos i posted that snuffy edit once?? and then the aforementioned tt that i sent to my mutual but otherwise yeah i don’t link too many if it’s not just between us

HAHA if you ever need shinah edits let me know i probably have every single one saved i will happily send my favs (i also have some of the other characters but shinah def has the most because…well it’s SHINAH)

i’ve been like lying on my couch all day doing nothing so no writing done unfortunately but trust i will be back at it and something should be out reasonably soon!! whether it’s a req or oaeu i cannot say but something for sure 🤩

LMAOO the bllkers (except reo because he’s rich 🤑) have to pick up side gigs in order to fund the project…barou starts a cleaning service…yuki and chigiri get into modeling…nagi becomes a streamer but people only follow because he’s hot so he has to do insane fan service in every stream…hiori starts a reaction video youtube channel and gets rin to guest star and they go mega viral because rin consistently says out of pocket bs plus they’re both pretty (rin accidentally gets sae cancelled for a week by saying smth crazy before revealing he’s related to sae)…otoya convinces karasu to become a scammer/find sugar mommies with him…it would be insane LMAOAOAO

I WAS SO CONFUSED AT FIRST AND THEN I WAS LIKE OMFG IT’S A TRAIN!! ig it fits w his backstory where he learned he was fast because he always missed the train???? LMAOAO honestly he’s such an unreal character i love him 😭 and yesss epinagi nagi is always STUNNING but they rlly put the focus on karasu and kiyora this time around like kiyora looked ADORABLE this chapter and karasu looks like a genuine villain but in a fine way 🤩 i can’t help but admit that idgaf abt himizu though like i kinda find him weird (the whole tongue thing is just. uh??? interesting??) and i’m worried abt what he’s foreshadowing w chigiri 😰

[youngbugandtonystank]

And now anti Tony people are blaming him for letting Sam’s family being in financial trouble wtf the man is dead! Let him rest!

Yeah, I saw. 

They’re definitely going to keep doing that, gotta say, the MCU never failed with Tony's character, they created circumstances for him exactly just like Stan envisioned. The ‘love-to-hate’ trope is strong when it comes to him, this is what Stan wanted out of Tony Stark's relationship with his fans/audience. Thing is, the reality of the MCU superhero is that they’re all flawed. None of them are exempt from anything. Why Tony gets more hate than the others?

He’s the most popular character. There’s no discussion in this instance. Popular superheroes that first come to people’s minds are always Batman, Iron Man and Spider-Man. Tony Stark/Iron Man is a pop culture legend and the fact that RDJ got to portray him as great as he did, helped a lot. People are always going to circle back to the character who has more hype and audience. 

He’s the one with the money. The fact that Tony is swimming in money automatically makes him the target of the ‘eat the rich’ mentality. People fail to remember that other characters such as T’Challa (who has more money than Tony would ever wish to see and lives in the most technologically advanced country in the world), Shuri, Thor (a literal king with a kingdom), The Pym family, Danny Rand (he has a net worth of $5 billion and is one of the richest comic book characters of all time), etc exist. And we still haven’t seen the other Marvel characters (in the MCU) that are richer than Tony like Reed Richards, Professor X, Warren Worthington, Norman Osborn, Namor, Doctor Doom, etc. 

Even if some of us see RDJ as attractive and good looking, some people don’t. For them, RDJ is nothing compared to Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Sebastian Stan, etc. It’s easier to hate a character you don’t find attractive. And also the fact that they find those actors relatively younger than RDJ. 

It’s the most shippable character. This also means he must be in the way of some other ships. Even if this sounds unbelievable, many people don’t get their irrational hate for a character until it dawns on them that they only hate him because he either treated one half of their ship unfairly or because he’s in the way of that ship. The more reasons they can find to hate him, the more legitimate their senseless hatred seems in their minds.

People don’t call out characters like T’Challa or Shuri because they’re scared of being called ‘racist’. T’Challa is so rich that Howard Stark could only buy (just an assumption, it’s a possibility he stole the vibranium lmao) only a portion of vibranium to build Steve’s shield, and because is the world’s most indestructible material, his worth is approximately $10,000 a gram (Fantastic Four #607) and Wakanda's vaults hold 10,000 tons of the material (Doomwar #1) T’Challa is not a billionaire, he’s a trillionaire lmaoooo everyone else is a joke compared to him.

Even having all of this info, Tony and T’Challa owe nothing to anyone.

T’Challa helped Bucky because of his principles (Tony offered to do this at the beginning as well until of course, he found out he killed his parents) but because of that, that doesn't mean T’Challa owes Steve, Sam, Wanda, and Natasha money or housing assistance. He didn't give it to them at all and he doesn’t have to. 

James Rhodes: Well. You guys really look like crap. Must've been a rough couple of years.

Sam Wilson: Yeah, well, the hotels weren't exactly five star.

Wanna know why? Because T’Challa knows they’re adults and they make their own decisions. Sam chose to be on Steve’s side, Wanda did too, Natasha too, etc. Adults make decisions and they should deal with the consequences that come with that. Tony was not going to deal with their financial problems because they made a choice and it’s not his problem to deal with. Tony is not their father. People need to ask themselves why Sam was not in the ‘lift the hammer’ scene after the party, because he wasn’t familiar with them, he wasn’t friends with Tony, only with Steve. Besides that fact, they all fought Tony, hurt his best friend, and left him to deal with the rest in CW. They’re not family.

Sam Wilson: No, I'm not actually sorry. I'm just trying to sound tough. I'm very happy chasing cold leads on our missing persons case. Avenging is your world. Your world is crazy. Steve Rogers: Be it ever so humble. Sam Wilson: You find a place in Brooklyn yet? Steve Rogers: I don't think I can afford a place in Brooklyn. Sam Wilson: Well, home is home, you know?

There’s absolutely no reason Steve can’t afford a place. He’s an adult, he has a good reputation, he worked for shield (why aren’t yall on Nick Fury’s ass if he had Steve and the others as employees? Fury set an entire place for Clint, why can’t he do it for the rest of them, he is the founder of the Avengers after all), and was pretty much capable of doing stuff for others. Tony provided them with a home while they were working together, he doesn’t need to concern himself with their personal problems because they’re not actual friends. Rhodey is his friend. Happy is his friend. Also consider the fact that maybe Sam didn’t want his help? 

And let’s also take into consideration that Tony is not only an Avenger, but Tony is also a businessman, an inventor, an engineer, has a company to keep an eye on, he is the one who finances the Avengers’ messes and other superhero messes too by co-owning the department of damage control, etc. He has other things to do. The rest of the Avengers are adults too, they should seek a job that could give them a future too, not just depend on Tony’s money. Tony had a family and he had to make sure they were covered after his death, this includes, Pepper (his wife, therefore she gets his stuff), Peter (his son, he left him EDITH, he’s basically set for life with that given the A.I. has access to the majority of his things including bank accounts), Morgan (his daughter; his responsibility), Happy and Rhodey (I’m sure we’ll see what he left them in Armor Wars). Why? They’re his actual family. 

If some of you know this and you’re still looking for reasons to put the blame on him, you’re failing to recognize you’re obsessed with hating Tony just for the sake of being right. Wouldn’t you like a life where you don’t have to constantly look for reasons to hate on a fictional character, better yet, a character you don’t like at all. Why the effort? You can love Tony and Sam at the same time, I promise you, this is not going to kill you. 

So please, instead of whining about Tony Stark all the time, why don’t yall just enjoy the fact that the show is showing you a vital and important event that happens in life while representing a part of Sam’s life to add to his emotional depth and character development? Especially because he’s a superhero and possibly the next Captain America, it’s good to see someone who is supposed to be a figure (superhero) whose actions or achievements are far greater than what people expect deal with normal things. They’re giving you a background; a solid storyline for his character. Let it be. Enjoy the shows yall, you can’t keep coming back to blame Tony for everything that happens after every single movie or Disney+ show, look for another metaphorical punching bag. The man is dead. 

[lazycheesecakeee]

Stray kids as love languages

Ok so I started thinking and that’s never good and somehow this got CHUNKY AF :))) But I hope you enjoy reading my messy thoughts about skz expressing love :)

Bang Chan

Giving: Gifts/Words of affirmation

Yeah SO… we all know how he always seems to always give the closest people to him, like everything, including the moon and a fucking rocket to the moon as well, and build it too, that before he gets anything at all? He is definitely a giver. He buys food, drinks, anything.

Anything you would accomplish, no matter how small would be an excuse for him to go out and buy you a meal and while you are there, if you only happen to glance at something twice, you already have it? Yeah you might feel bad and try to pay or say “stop giving me things all the time” but he would not stop and he would buy you the thing and shower you with praises for how well you did, even if you think it is not such a big deal.

You have a normal day when nothing happened? You go to the store together, he pays. He comes to visit you randomly. On the way he buys a flower and a random chocolate or a drink because he remembers somehow that you said you wanted to try it like 3 months ago. And the list never ends. He has a good sense for what people want too. So if you are close to him he gives you EVERYTHING. Showers of praises and all of his fucking money :)))) BOY HAS NO LIMITS.

Receiving: words of affirmation

Listennnn, as much as he gives and never stops, like NEVER. (Take his credit card away lmaoooo), when you acknowledge his little appreciations and thank him sweetly or give him a hug to let him know you are grateful, he gets immense satisfaction. I feel like he is the one to give but if he feels like he is used in the slightest he definetly cuts the rope short real FUCKING FAST.

I feel like he def is SUCH a sucker for appreciation and words of affirmation AND COMPLIMETS. He wants to feel needed and like his efforts are worth it. And giving him the verbal queue that his efforts don’t go unnoticed, that despite his busy schedule you appreciate the time with him, that his hard work and struggles to be the best are worth it, that the nights in the studio are fruitful and he is doing a good job, THAT would really make his entire day and his anxieties dissipate. Let him know he is wanted. Poor baby someone give him a sleep schedule too and some melatonin :)))))

Lee Know/Minho

Giving: Acts of service

He def strikes as one weird cranky, moody, annoying bitch with his behaviour but if you pay closer attention he is actually so observant and thoughtful/caring. He seems like you would not want to go to him for things but I actually think that if you take the time and grow close to him he is one of the most caring and protective people tbh.

Like it’s in his nature to pay attention to what close ones are doing, their schedules, interests and habits. He is the kind of person to never purposefully say or make a fuss out of doing something but somehow he knows you need something or you want something. And he buys the thing and puts it in the fridge. Or changes the sheets because he feels you are too sad and unmotivated and that would be good. Or buys something definitely because “he wanted it” but gets more, and a side of the thing you like a lot, because “it was there”, definitely not because he thought of you and that it would bring you joy. Or he would like pick a prescription for you or refill your water bottle before leaving or tell you to bring band-aids because you complained those shoes hurt you. Or tell me this boy would not chop the onions for the pasta sauce so you don’t ruin your mascara (I am not sobbing you are).  And he somehow fits himself in and things add up so well and your life is so much easier despite him claiming he „did nothing”.

Receiving: Words of affirmation

Although it doesn’t seem like it, something tells me it’s true. I read on an internet thing that people that seem cold and don’t want/seem to have the need for verbal affirmation and validation from strangers get actually more satisfaction from it than people who say it explicitly.

He also def strikes me like he was raised to be tough, to recover fast, to not be a cry baby and just get up and do the job, suck it up, be strong and independent. A little bit of trust issues into the mix as well ☹ You can actually kinda see a sort of anxious behaviour type of thing in him. So I feel like if you actually grow closer to him (ahem Jisung), acknowledging his efforts and how he makes your life easier, THAT would bring out the asshole being like “oh really? Hm interesting you think I do so much for you huh?” but he actually does thooo and you saying it would bring him like so much joy and make his heart happy.

Like each time you give him a compliment TM he would act like “yeah I know” or act disgusted but high key it soothes his spirit and ego when you say such things. He just loooves to hear how much you loved something he cooked or how attractive he was while dancing or how he was really thoughtful, and you appreciate it sm. He seems to have the nature to give, and he seems to expect to go unnoticed but when and if you do acknowledge his heart is actually swooning over it.

Changbin

Giving: Physical touch/Gifts

I think he would be the type to bring weird things to you for no reason along with 1000 kisses and a hug that is a bit too tight you know? Like his mind gets occupied with you if you are close.

And like he saw this weird card at the store or a little figurine or something which has a weird patters and he thought “Hm they must see this. They would like this strange ass thing I bought which was overpriced”. And when he gives you the thing you give like an odd smile and in your eyes is a „love you but wtf is this” and he would take your hands and look down and kiss them and say “I don’t know i thought you might like it?” And you would tease each other and he would start doing ayego and get really shy and just hug you again and place his head in your neck to avoid the eye contact, then lift you up and spin you and from there you have no chances of escaping the embrace TM.

Receiving: Physical touch

I feel like he would be a sucker for physical touch as your love language as well. If you reciprocate hugs, kisses and stuff. You know he seems like the kind to find comfort in holding you for no reason, like a hand on the knee or on your waist and if you two are comfy and give him little pets, stroke his hair, place your hand on his shoulder or biceps or take his hand with both yours or grab his middle randomly, he would swoon. Also you clinging to him and letting him cling to you I think is like thing he wishes for most tbh:) I feel like he feels safety and love by holding onto you and you onto him like he can protect you. He would like to know you trust him with that, ya know? Like he is a strong bitch ready to fight anyone coming at you and can protect you but is also your smol koala child which you can never escape.

Hyunjin

Giving: physical touch

Now this might seem weird to you BUT. He seems like he touches people out of nowhere sometimes and kinda clings. Not like all the time but enough. Like he likes being really close to you if he is close to you, you know?. He would be all up in your face with his weird ass mannerisms and humour but if they are reciprocated and he feels safe and good around you he naturally starts to cling if that makes sense? Like in a way a sort of telling others: “mine, you cannot have them before me” but also in the sense that you know he would do anything for you if you ask in those instances. Like YO, you have me, soul and body next to you, I am here :)))

Like he doesn’t seem like the type to buy things a lot (cheap ass I see you :)))) although he would sometimes) But he makes up by being there and encouraging you despite not knowing how to act or what to say all the time, he lets you know you can count on him and he is there. I feel like his touch expresses appreciation.

Receiving: words of affirmation/quality time

He strikes me as attention demanding lmao:)) OH I am yours pay attention to me I am your baby I require love and affection, undivided.

So if you make time to have lunch with him or have conversations before bed in peace (my dude seems like his thoughts overwhelm him all the time and honestly same :/ it’s kinda yikes tbh), or watch a movie/tv show, or just be in his presence when he is both excited or down, and listen to him rant and give him solutions or rant with him about random subjects and jumping around between them subjects, you would get all the uwus and he would probably be ready to dedicate his entire existence to your well being and desires.

He is just like that, a dramatic ass with overly changing emotions who wants a good connection, like a genuine one, where hours go by and someone truly understands him and things flow, ya know? (seems like the type to believe in fate type of love, which I find interesting)

Han Jisung

Giving: Physical touch/ Words of affirmation

He seems really touchyyyyy TM. But like in the way that shows physical affection because he seems a little insecure? That is kinda what he strikes me as. Like he wants to hold you. He wants to show you have him. He wants to be appreciated :( my child (and bias) help me I am sobbing:))) and he wants to make sure you know he appreciates you just as much.

Like he would hold your hand, hug you a lot or place random kisses and linger in those places? An he would compliment you and tell you your work is amazing and that he is proud and he would make lots of idiotic jokes to cheer you up, no matter the mood (we stan crackhead humour in this household) and he would tell you the most random shit he likes about you. Like “I like your socks” or “you changed your bag” or “the perfume is oddly floral just like your shirt and I like it”.

And he would make random short freestyle raps (kill me now I am in too deep) about you or a random thing you are doing. And he would just linger around you when you are busy and can’t give him attention. He wants to show trust and love through little gestures and trusts you to see them as a sign of his love because you make him happy and all.

Receiving: ALSO Physical touch/words of affirmation idk

I feel like he would like physical touch back? Like he would be fine if you didn’t like it, but like since he is like anxious and (to me) seems like a little overly aware of his “flaws and deficiencies”, he would like to know he has your “hold”. Like some sort of security type of thing.

Like small gestures, your hand on him, a little kiss, a hug, a squish :))), a little grip of reassurance and a nod of “you are doing good”. I think he would be a sucker for that. And also despite him lowkey rejecting your compliments like “yeah I know I am the best”, giving it to him would boost his self-esteem a lot, as I think he has many insecurities and quite a few complexes that are hard to express for him. So that, along with your touch and words to reassure him, he would love and get the idea that you want him close too, that he’s desired enough for you to seek his love, something like “you my dude are seen and loved for who you are”.

Felix

Giving: Giving gifts/Physical touch

He is defiantly a giver. He literally seems like he is so thoughtful and cares so much. Like we all know how his fellow members said he is great at gifts. Well duh. I feel like his gifts are not always big but like a small food or drink he brings because he knows you always love it, a flower he saw in the front of a flower shop he thought was pretty. Something you said you needed (or you didn’t say) but he knows you do need it because he just pays that much attention. A pendant necklace. A ring. A small ice-cream because the day is hot so why not. A donut that had flower sprinkles because you like to post aesthetic foods and so on. You name it. They would not be obnoxious, but it would sure show how much you are occupying his thoughts.

We also always know how he is attached to the hip to the people he is close to and he loves skinship. He said he loves back hugs, hugs, kisses he wants it all:)) So he gives plenty of cuddles for sure. You can never escape the octupus arms as you go to sleep each night, so might as well set up the air conditioning in your house as it’s about to get warm but affection and love above all, right? :)))))))

Receiving: Words of affirmation/Physical touch

I think he thrives if you return his little ministrations of affection. Does it matter? A hug, a kiss, holding him, a little massage, hand size comparison, throwing yourself on top of him on the couch or the bed at the end of the day. He LOVES it. You are also competing with Chan lol but no worries, he has plenty affections for all:))

Also I think he needs reassurance and a sense that people that are closest are proud of what he is doing(wipe your tears bitch). So I think acknowledging his hard work and the fact that he pulls through despite certain mental heath problems and telling him he does an amazing job and complementing his work would definitely mean a lot to him.

But give the boy your affection, A VerY tOucHy BoI. It makes his heart swell with joy knowing you pull him close and feel so much love for him that you don’t hold back from giving. Be an octopus with him tambien😊

Seungmin

Giving: Acts of service

Another one for acts of service. Our smol good boi which somehow does not seem smol at all because he exudes maturity and rationality lmao.

He would be such a servant if he loves you. AND YOU WOULD NOT EVEN NOTICE at first. Like I feel like he does stuff in a way similar to Minho where he makes sure your life is as easy as can be. Like puts your shoes out of the way, checks the weather so you don’t leave dressed inappropriately (forces you to take the puffier jacket despite it not going with your outfit, because “do you want to catch a cold, hm?”), gives you an umbrella. Fixes a random necklace which you broke by accident because he knows it will sit there for like 3 years if it’s in your care, and you like the necklace 😊. Makes sure you eat something healthy too(would definitely bring you washed and cut-up fruits after going out to eat at mcdonalds). And he for sure does not expect you to really notice, but if you do he is getting flustered and runs out the room with a big smile😊 what a baby tm.

Receiving: Acts pf service

I feel like he would appreciate most if you also took time out of your day to ease his life too. I feel like he would feel such relief and happiness and his heart would swell with affection and appreciation if you took on one of his (no matter how insignificant) tasks. Like he would be in a rush to leave and you woke up earlier before work to make him a coffee. Or when he comes home late you already put his clothes on the bed and prepared a bath. Or getting up and asking for extra napkins if he was not given any, or simply asking how can you make his day better. I feel like being helpful and listening and paying close attention to him would be what makes him happiest.

I.N./Jeongin:

Giving: Quality time/Gifts

He gets awkward when he tries to express feelings with words and is def not the most fond of skinship. However, I think if you were close he would be an amazing listener and sit with you and you could both share and grow together so much. He would give you the feeling he is ready to listen and be with you if you need him. 

That and also I feel like when you are out and about it makes him feel good to know he can buy you things you can enjoy, and you are appreciative of them and he has that power to brighten your day and be a mature adult by buying you things, despite not really needing them sometimes.

Receiving: Quality time/Words

You know how he struggled a bit with the dancing at first and you know how the other members say that he does nothing when someone criticizes him, he just goes out of his way to fix his “mistakes”? And also in Vlive when he said he doesn’t like to watch his own fancams because all he sees are his mistakes? My baby seems to have a bit (quite some) of an imposter syndrome and since he is young and everyone teases him, although with love, I feel like it gets a bit uncomfortable and tough. He seems he just wants to keep up, and be the best at what he does but it gets tough when you have to catch up with people who have been doing the thing for many more years than you and you are struggling with your feelings and figuring things out as you grow within a demanding contract. So I think someone to listen to his worries and give him undivided attention without judgement and put in their input without being intrusive would be the most amazing thing to him. That, along with compliments and acknowledgement of his efforts, telling him that he is doing GOOD and you are proud (although he might think that you are just saying it, since he seems to only see ways he needs to improve) would be good at raising his self esteem and encourage him to continue with his hard efforts.

[colorisbyshe]

I have literally no way of verifying this info so take it with a grain of salt but I heard a while ago mxtx actually was in college when writing mdzs so the confusing style makes a lot of sense since she's inexperienced, and tgcf was much tighter and made more sense. as someone who read the fan translation of mdzs (and never will again, lmao cql is my only canon), it's interesting to hear about your thoughts about the writing and novel! imo there are genuinely spectacular book moments/dialogue/scenes, but most of them made it to cql, and the few good romance scenes (if he catches me I'll-, the yunmeng date extra) rly aren't worth it. I'm personally glad I read the entire book (sans incense burners) because it gives me a fuller perspective and allows comparison between adaptations, but it's not something I would necessarily recommend. the only scene that I think the novel did great that cql didn't have was the wen blood pool scene, but iirc that was in the donghua too. on the other hand the novel had a lot of really cool worldbuilding elements that were explained much better than in cql and I think jin ling was a stronger character so it also depends on what you like and want to see. anyway it's great to hear your thoughts, thanks for posting!

same anon - also love your description of the problems in the framing device in mdzs. you're right! it's inconsistent and a mess! also super insightful to pinpoint the fact that wwx is being used to introduce characters without spoiling them instead of reacting organically to the situation. and his weird interactions with lwj…they were so miserable /sob

Yeah, I do think the novel does a LOT better job explaining word building stuff than CQL did, since it can just... write things out instead of having it just sort of implied or directly stated via dialogue, which can be clunky. I honestly think a looot of hwat I know about the ~lore was actually picked up through checking the wiki or like having concepts spelled out in fanfic by authors who were drawing from both MDZS/CQL information, which... is a problem. Like it's almost all technical information (like about how golden cores work and what specific terms signify) but also some of it is just concepts being better explained when they were skimmed over in the drama.

So the novels do have value in like... padding out the world and maybe providing some character moments (although I will say... I thought Jiang Cheng being homophobic was just like... an exaggerated meme but no he's like... straight up just textually homophobic LMAO... don't know if i needed that enhanced character depth) but they will never be my definitive understanding of the story, even if I do read past Vol 1. And I definitely hve no interest in spending money on or owning the novels, even in a pirated way.

I am still impressed with how enjoyable of a read it is and I think the text holds up better than I thought it would in terms of like... properly dropping bread crumbs for people who know how everything ends, like it lays things out well... outside of the very weird framing of Wei Wuxian himself against everyone from his former life.

Like I said his reactions to everyone... come off as very unnatural and untrue to his character and their relationships, even with how much distance came between them in his final months/years. For how well misdirection worked in CQL at least... it's really not working here when provided with characters more inner thoughts.

So I LIKE having them, at least in theory, and I like more peaks into the background (like Lan Xichen teasing Lan Wangji early on about liking Wei Wuxian's company lmaoooo), but idk if the early stuff is servicing what is to come as well as it should be.

Also... the bad BL tropes are already hitting hard. Like LWJ making WWX sleep on top of him and the moments emphasizing how tiny WWX is now.... girl, the fujoshi within you has leaked onto the page, go clean that up.

I think (from what I know at least, from the manhua and from comparisons) Imas sively going to appreciate MXTX being less present in the CQL adaption. Like I feel the author too much in the novel. I feel the machinations.

So as pleased as I am by the world building and overall narrative/character moments, which is VERY pleased, she really is her own worst enemy. Not even getting into her moral issues just from like a technical stand point, her writing is very frustrating to me.

Going from a superior adaption to the OG text is lot.

It's like... did any of y'all read the thirteen letters? Womb to tomb bitches?? It's like reading that then watching TFA. Like... even the likable things become frustrating because you're so aware of their limitations and how they aren't reaching their full potential.

[auroracalisto]

for the love of you—part four

summary: a fourth part to my series, “for the love of you.”  where rebekah and the reader get closer and have a bit of domestic fluff and where the mikaelsons and the reader realize what could happen if she stays around for much longer.

pairing: slightly romantic! rebekah x reader, platonic! kol x reader, elijah x reader, klaus x reader

word count: 2.1k words

warnings: mentions of death, visions, uhhhh, vampire shit.  i mean.  

a/n: now, i should have had this done some time ago. however, i'll just dedicate this edition of "for the love of you" to reaching 500 followers!!  also.  i’ve been in a mega rebekah mood lately, so that’s why she’s getting more “action” than the other siblings rn.  lmaoooo.

read part one here, part two here, and part three here.

RECAP

“—[Your name],” Elijah softly said, frowning.  "It most definitely was a vision.  However, that doesn’t mean we can’t prevent it from happening.  You were right to tell Kol, I know you were skeptical of him making fun of you.“

"Hey—”

Elijah stared at Kol, raising an eyebrow.  "You know it’s true.  You would have, had it not been something so serious.“

Kol rolled his eyes before he cleared his throat.  "I’ll go get Klaus and Rebekah.”

He left the room, leaving Elijah standing there with [Your name].  

“Are you okay?” Elijah frowned softly at her.  

[Your name] frowned.  "If it was a vision… what… what does that mean?“

Elijah frowned even more.  "Like we said with your being here.  We will figure it out.”

Soon, each of the siblings had made their way to the kitchen.  [Your name] stayed in her spot by the sink, her hand still gripping at her now warm glass of water.  

Klaus looked over at Elijah, a confused expression enveloping his handsome features.  “What’s going on?” he asked, taking a seat at the island, close beside Rebekah.  There were only two stools at the island—this led to Elijah standing across from [Your name], leaning against the countertop closest to the stove, and Kol standing at the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest.  

“It seems as though [Your name] had a vision.”

Klaus turned to her, expectant to hear her vision.  

She refreshed Kol and Elijah on her vision, while giving the other two siblings new information.  But it was still as terrifying as it had been when she first relayed her vision.  Kol dying, people she had yet to meet being in her dream.  There were so many things that struck [Your name] as odd, but she still couldn’t get over the fact that she had been bitten—by what, she had yet to figure out.  

Klaus frowned deeply.  He looked towards his brother.  “I would have suggested bringing Bonnie in to figure out what brought her here, but it sounds to me like we should be avoiding each of them for the time being.”

“Agreed,” Kol spoke up from the doorway, rolling his eyes.  He was not about to be killed because the Salvatore’s wanted it to happen.  Their little human pet would not be the reason he died.  

Elijah looked back over at [Your name], frowning.  “I suppose we should tell you a couple more things.  I didn’t want to overwhelm you on your first night staying here, but a vision is sign enough that you need to know.”  He took a hold of her hand and led her over to stand in front of Rebekah and Klaus at the counter.  She sat her cup down, nervously looking at each of the siblings.  

“We are vampires,” Rebekah softly spoke, reaching out across the counter to take [Your name]’s hand.  

Her eyes widened, but she didn’t make any noise.  It made sense—if she truly had been bitten in her vision, then that would explain it.  She gave a small nod, squeezing Rebekah’s hand.  

“Okay.”

Kol blinked slowly at the girl, pushing himself off the doorframe.  “Okay?  That’s all you have to say?”

[Your name] blinked back at him in the same manner, nodding.  “There’s nothing more to say.  I… I’m not afraid of any of you.  I feel like I should be,” she couldn’t help a small smile from forming on her lips.  “But I am not afraid.”  

“You’ve no reason to be afraid,” Rebekah softly said, smiling in response.  “I do believe Kol is trying to tease, but he’s rather bad at it, isn’t he?”

[Your name] grinned, looking back over at Kol.  If he had the ability to blush, he was sure that he would have.  Kol just rolled his eyes and came over to the counter, leaning against it.  He looked at Elijah and cleared his throat with an awkward cough.  

“Well?  What will we do about it?”

“I will reach out to a couple of witches,” Elijah said.  “But until I am able to get a hold of any of them, we will all do our parts in keeping each other safe.  Kol, I advise that you stay near one of us if you go out.  If anything, try to stay home.”

Kol rolled his eyes once more.  “Whatever.”

“And [Your name],” Elijah said, turning to face the woman.  “I am sure that we will have to get you well-acquainted with Mystic Falls, despite your visions.  We will not keep you cooped up—you are in no way our prisoner.”

[Your name] watched her soulmates, giving a knowing nod.  She had a feeling that they each knew what to do, even if she felt like she was drowning in endless bouts of information.  But soon enough, things would make sense.  It had to.  

[]

The morning after their discussion, Rebekah woke [Your name] and practically forced her to get ready for the day.  Rebekah used what makeup she could on [Your name]’s face, and gave her the few hair products that [Your name] would be able to use on her own hair as well.  Some time while she was getting ready, Rebekah disappeared and then came back just minutes later with a bag filled with clothing—things that would fit [Your name] and things that she knew she would like.  

After Rebekah made her change, she finally told her what all of it was about.  

“I am taking you out,” Rebekah smiled, crossing her arms over her chest.  “You can call it what you will.  A date.  A friendly outing.  Date would work better since you are my soulmate,” she laughed softly, reaching out to take [Your name]’s hands.  “But this way, we can both get out of this stuffy manor and see what Mystic Falls has to offer.  Perhaps the more we talk, the more we get to know about each other as well.  Is… is that okay, [Your name]?” she smiled.  “I don’t want to do anything to make you uncomfortable.”

[Your name] faintly smiled.  “You aren’t doing anything that would make me uncomfortable.  We… should get a move on, if you want to take me anywhere specific.”

Rebekah grinned.  “I have to take you to the shopping center.  I am very aware I bought you a couple of outfits, but surely, you need more than just the items I purchased for you!”

“Rebekah,” [Your name] blushed.  “I have no money.”

“Nonsense,” Rebekah grinned, taking her hand in hers.  She leaned over to press a quick kiss to her cheek before leading her downstairs.  “You do not have to worry about anything like that while you’re out with me.  I promise.”

[]

Only hours later did [Your name] and Rebekah return to the Mikaelson Manor.  

Kol was waiting at the doorway, impatiently.  He couldn’t believe he just let Rebekah take [Your name] right from out of his nose.  

“Took you both long enough,” he huffed softly, opening the door.  He took notice of all the bags that the two of them were carrying.  His eyes softened at that.  Rebekah was just trying to make her feel at home—surely, that is what was happening.  Kol began to speak before his brain was aware of what he was saying.  “May I help you with those?”

Kol could have hit himself.  Hell, he had no idea why he was being so nice to [Your name].  Perhaps it was the fact that she was his soulmate.  But despite that, he still could have ended himself right there and saved himself the embarrassment that Rebekah would soon rain down on him.  But the smile that lightened [Your name]’s face would make the torment all worth it.  

“Yes, please,” she quickly said, moving to hand him some of the bags.  But before she knew it, Kol had grabbed every single bag she had and took it up to the guest room that she was staying in.  He didn’t show his face again, but [Your name] reminded herself to thank him later.  

Rebekah was trying to hold back her laughter as she took the bags upstairs with [Your name].

“I do not know if I’ve ever seen my brother so… flustered,” she laughed softly, sitting some of the bags on the bed and some of them on the floor.  

“You think he was flustered?” [Your name] looked over at Rebekah, smiling in return.  

“Oh, most definitely.”  

Rebekah walked over and took a hold of her hands.  “Before we start to unpack everything, why don’t we go and see if Elijah and Klaus have gotten a hold of any one?  The sooner we can figure out your vision, the better.”

It was more of a demand, rather than a question.  But [Your name] still agreed, allowing Rebekah to lead her down into the living area.  

Elijah looked up from where he sat; a woman was sitting beside him.  

Rebekah held tighter onto [Your name]’s hand, but not enough to hurt her.  

“Elijah.  What the hell?  I thought we agreed to not have Bonnie and her friends to step foot near [Your name].”

“We did,” Klaus sighed from across the room, pouring himself a drink.  “That was before Bonnie showed up, informing us that not only did she bring someone from an alternate universe to our home, but that there is no reversing the spell.” 

Klaus came over and sat across from Bonnie, keeping his eyes on her.  “And go ahead, Bonnie.  Tell them what you told us just moments before my dear sister walked in with my soulmate.” 

Bonnie flinched at the tone of his voice, but she knew that it was well-deserved.  Bonnie looked over at Rebekah and [Your name] with a deep frown.  “I had a vision.  The same one that your soulmate had,” she said, talking mostly to Rebekah.  “But instead of Kol dying, it was [Your name] who died.”

Rebekah stood there, her eyebrows furrowed.  “What do you mean?”

“It means that… that [Your name] being here is not normal.  It is changing fate and how our timeline is supposed to go.  I was reading through my grimoire and it said that it is possible that someone from an alternate reality showing up in a different timeline can completely derail how fate is supposed to go entirely, unless we send them back.  To send them back, of course, I have yet to figure that out.”

[Your name] stood there for just a minute, thoughts swimming through her head.  “What… what if I don’t want to go back?” she asked, gripping onto Rebekah’s hand.  

Bonnie grimaced.  “Then every one that you interact with could face dire consequences.” 

“Like?” [Your name] spoke, her heart pounding in her chest.  Each of the siblings could hear it.  

“Um.  Well.  Death.  Gruesome deaths, not to mention.  Mutilation.  Wiped memories.  Disasters, all around.”

The once happy expression that [Your name] held all that day had diminished within moments.  She couldn’t believe what she was hearing.  She didn’t want anything to happen to any of them.  She looked between each of the siblings, tears quickly forming in her eyes.  

She had only been there for a couple of days, but she knew that she wouldn’t be able to live with herself if anything were to have happened to them.  After a moment of silence, [Your name] looked at Bonnie. 

“What can we do?”

Bonnie went to stand up.  “I will be researching ways to send you back.  Until then, each of you should stay out of trouble.  Stay here.  I’ll let you know what I find.”

As Bonnie left, [Your name] looked at the siblings once more.  

“I don’t want to leave you all,” she said, tears beginning to spill.  “But I couldn’t… I can’t stay if that means each of you will get hurt.”

Rebekah let go of her hand, turning to face her.  She quickly wrapped her arms around [Your name]’s shoulders, giving her a tight hug.  [Your name] returned it, burying her face in the blonde’s neck.  

“There has to be something that we can do,” Rebekah said, her eyebrows furrowed.  “Bonnie’s magic brought her to us.  She is our soulmate,” she spoke, looking over at her older brothers.  “Surely there is some way that she can stay without it hurting everyone.” 

“If Bonnie finds a way,” Elijah said, a defeated look spreading across his features, “then [Your name] can stay.  But if not…”  It seemed like it pained Elijah to say anything else.  “If not, we cannot allow her to stay.  For our safety, and for yours, [Your name].”

[Your name] lifted her head from Rebekah’s embrace and she locked eyes with Elijah.  “I know.”

There were many times throughout their lives that the siblings felt defeated.  They could add this to their growing list of grief.  They finally found their soulmate, and now, they happened to find out that their soulmate could be the end of everything as they know it—even if she didn’t mean for it to happen.  

Rebekah slightly pulled back and pressed a soft kiss to [Your name]’s forehead.  “We will find a way to keep you here.  I will not allow you to go back to a place where you feel unwanted.  To a place where we aren’t there to keep you safe.”

[Your name] closed her eyes, appreciating her kind words, but the only thing that she could think about was the fact that she would be the Mikaelson siblings undoing.  

[dont-call-me-baby-posts]

omg girl yes yes yes those songs were definitely written by.anders like

Re: Anders writing the songs from Inside by Bo Burnham

BUT LIKE YES. Those songs are 100% how he’s feeling rn being stuck at home. Like the disillusionment of it all, its very him. And he’s thinking all of that but still trying to be a supportive friend to Harry and y/n while they’re all like complaining about who’s gonna make the first move or whatever lmaoooo. Like he’s on the phone like “it’ll be ok man don’t worry 🙂” and then hanging up and just, like, spiraling.

Anyway here’s a blurb:

There was something about being back in his childhood bedroom that was so deeply unsettling that he couldn’t even tell what part of it bothered him most.

Anders had been cooped up now for weeks. He’d arrived in pretty decent spirits, just wanting to see his parents and have them tell him everything was fine and that they would take care of him and he wouldn’t have to worry about everything anymore. The good feelings lasted maybe an hour before Anders had cooped himself within the same four walls he used to stare at all throughout highschool, head stuffed into a pillow as he tried not to scream or cry or make any type of noise that might give away what he was feeling.

Because what he’d said to his parents had been along the lines of this:

“Im fine!”

“Im feeling so much better!”

“Im so happy to be home!”

Which had been true, until the lecturing started. Anders couldn’t help the way his eyes rolled in their sockets, listening to his mom go on and on and on about how disappointed she was and how scared she’d been and how Anders should have called her more if he was feeling “blue”. As if he needed any lectures at this point; he knew fully well that he fucked up. He didn’t need reminding.

“I just don’t understand what you have to be so upset about. Don’t you like living in LA? You have more money than your father and I will ever see, you don’t have any reason to be sad.” His mom had said over a plate of chicken parmesan. She kept scraping her fork on her dish as she ate, and it was making Anders teeth ache inside his skull. “And don’t tell me you’re still upset about that Jena girl. I told you before she’s not worth your time.”

And since that moment when Anders pushed his plate away and insisted he didn’t have much of an appetite, he’d been locked inside his old room going through his old stuff and reading all the old songs he’d written as a kid. He played his old video games and wore his old clothes and he watched the same old movies he’d memorized years ago. The first few days of that were actually kind of nice, but it didn’t take long for Anders’ leaves to be rustled by the wind outside the window and his bones to feel jittery and cold.

He painted, he taught himself to crochet a new kind of stitch, he pretended to eat what food his mom made for him. Mostly he sat around and waited for Harry or Y/N to call, to give him some kind of sign that the world outside of his four walls still existed.

And he wrote. His album was coming out in May, so he hadn’t planned on writing just yet, but he had to keep his hands occupied with something so he didn’t start picking at his skin or scratching the back of his ankles until they were raw. He felt oddly detached from himself here; like the life he was living in LA wasn’t ever his and yet this one in Chicago wasn’t his, either.

I was a kid who was stuck in his room. There isn’t much more to say about it…

He imagined himself, (a younger, even dumber self), sitting in this same bed and doing the same things. Thinking the same thoughts. It felt like he’d been thrust backward in time, the only difference now being that he had regular zoom calls with a therapist on Tuesday nights.

When you’re a kid and you’re stuck in your room, you’ll do any old shit to get out of it…

And he was painfully aware now of why he’d been so keen on doing drugs and drinking and staying away from home as much as possible when he lived here before. It was nightmarish and suffocating in this house. It was unbearable.

Try making faces, try telling jokes, making little sounds…

It wasn’t just that he was bored. Mostly he was irritated, all of the time. He would do his best to put on a good face for his parents and joke and laugh and do all the things he was supposed to do. After a while of that he’d get mad that he was doing it in the first place and he’d say something mean and start yelling. Then after that he’d just feel guilty for not being more grateful or patient or understanding. He’d spoken to his therapist about it, which didn’t make him feel any better. He’d said to Anders:

“Your parents are going through as much as you are right now. You need to realize that your actions effected everyone around you, and they are trying to cope the same way you are.”

But why should they get to cope or grieve or whatever else when they were the ones who had raised him to be like this? Why should they get to take it out on him when they had never even tried to make him better in the first place? It just seemed unfair to him.

Well, well, look who’s inside again. Went out to look for a reason to hide again…

In any case, Anders had made it completely full circle. He landed right back at the beginning. In his tiny ass bed in this stuffy ass house with nothing to do and no one to talk to. It was almost comical. Anders couldn’t help feeling like this whole pandemic had been hand crafted in some lab specifically to get back at him. It must have been.

Well, well, buddy you’ve found it. Now come out with your hands up we’ve got you surrounded.

His days were better when he got to talk to his friends. As much as he knew Harry and Y/N needed to work some shit out, he mostly just felt jealous that they got to be together while Anders was posted up here. He probably wouldn’t be having such a hard time if he was with them, even if it meant he had to identify permanently as their third wheel. He’d never even gotten to hang out with both Harry and Y/N at the same time, and he found himself daydreaming about it whenever he would wake up in middle of the night or eat breakfast in the same place he ate every other meal in bed.

Oh, and the label was pissed. They had him get on zoom fucking constantly for meetings he was sure he didn’t need to be a part of, and if he was even a minute late they would freak out. Not like they were concerned for his well-being, they just didn’t want him to off himself before his contract was up. They were mad enough about the whole rehab thing, so if he so much as breathed the wrong way they would lose their absolute shit.

But he was writing and sometimes he got to talk to his friends and he really did like playing his old video games. It wasn’t all bad, he had to remind himself, because at least he was sober and he was alive and he’d be back in the hell hole that was LA in no time. Until then, he’d just have to get a fucking grip.

///

By late Summer he’d already started recording the new songs he’d written, using all the same shitty equipment he’d used for his first songs he’d released before moving out to LA. He put them together in a folder titled “Inside”, because he couldn’t really think of anything better to call it.

By this point Harry and Y/N had made things official, and Anders tried not to bother them too much if he could help it. Sure, every once in a while he’d still wake up Harry in middle of the night or call Y/N with some random story he’d half-remembered and half made up just so he could hear her voice. He told them both that he was feeling okay, aside from a bit lonely, but after he’d sent the files over to Harry to listen to he knew he might have fucked up.

“You’re coming to London.” Harry said as soon as he picked up the phone, a furrow in his voice. “I’m not fucking around. Pack your things.”

Anders stifled a laugh. He was eating an orange, (he’d made a habit of eating them whenever he wanted to get high, hoping his brain would rewire itself to crave citrus instead), narrowing his eyes. “Why, you miss me that bad?”

“I’m not in a mood to joke around, Andy. I’m being serious.” Harry cut him off, not leaning into the joke like he normally would. Anders sat up, a bit unnerved by it. “You need to come stay here. I don’t care what I have to do, I’ll figure it out. You aren’t staying there anymore.”

“What’s your deal today, bro?” Anders asked, a hint of a nervous chuckle at the end of his question. “Did something happen?”

“No, I just… I don’t know. The songs you sent me just have me worried.” Harry elaborated, his tone easing up just a bit. “I don’t want you to be alone anymore. I’ve been stressing out enough about you and i don’t see any reason why you should stay there when you could come here…” He paused to sigh again. “And yes, I do miss you that bad.”

The last part was tacked on with a touch more warmth than the rest. “I’ve told you so many times that you don’t have to be worried about me. I don’t get what your hang up is.”

“Andy-“

“Don’t fuckin’ call me Andy. I’m gonna be fine. I’m actually living the dream right now, you should be jealous to be hones-“

“Stop it. Don’t do that.” Harry cut him off. The warmth in his voice that had just made its appearance was gone. “Don’t tell me that. You call me constantly in middle of the night and you’re writing these songs and.. and… and I just want you here. I’m not even asking you, I’m telling.”

Anders was a little bit hurt by that, wincing against this phone pressed ti his ear. “Sorry I’m such a fucking burden on you, man. I won’t call anymore if it’s such an issue.”

“It’s not an issue, bro! I’m just worried.” Harry sighed. “I know that we have this whole let’s not actually talk about anything serious and pretend there’s nothing wrong thing going on but I’m not doing it anymore. I’m telling you sincerely that I am concerned for you and I want you to come stay here. Are you hearing what I’m saying? I’m being dead serious. I am scared for you and I need you to come here.”

Anders chewed on his fingernail for a second before speaking. “I really am doing better, Harry. It’s just hard, you know…. Being stuck here with them. And I’m back in my old bedroom and it’s just making me think about so much stuff and I don’t want to think about and… I don’t know. I’m fine but I’m, like, not fine.”

“So then come here. Please.” Harry said, his voice so soft Anders had to press the phone harder against his ear. “I know you’re doing better and I promise I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable, but I would like to see you. Y/N talks about you all the time, and I know it would really make her feel better if she got to spend some time with you.”

“Oooo, your girl wants to spend time with me?” Anders snickered, having been as serious as he could manage for as long as he could stand it. “Aren’t you jealous?”

“I’m absolutely fuming, yeah.” Harry deadpanned. “Pack your things.”

///

So this is how it ends

I promise to never go outside again

Am I going crazy?

Would I even know?

Am I right back where I started all those years ago?

Wanna guess the ending, if it ever does

I swear to God that all I've ever wanted was

A little bit of everything all of the time

A bit of everything all of the time

Apathy's a tragedy and boredom is a crime

I'm finished playing and I'm staying inside

If I wake up in a house that's full of smoke

I'll panic, so call me up and tell me a joke

When I'm fully irrelevant and totally broken

Dammit, call me up and tell me a joke

Oh shit, you're really joking at a time like this?

Well, well, look who's inside again

Went out to look for a reason to hide again

Well, well, buddy you found it

Now come out with your hands up, we've got you surrounded

[aqvarius]

Which voltage routes have you played??

Okay are you ready for this list (bear in mind I’ve been playing voltage since around 2012 haha). I’m not going to include substories because then we’d all be here for 4 years 🙃 I also have some purchased routes that I haven’t yet played and I won’t include those here, and some routes that I swear I played but can’t find/got lost in the transfer. Unless specified, this would just be S1 MS and epilogue. 

10 Days with my Devil:

Kakeru Kamui

Satoru Kamagari

Shiki Kurobane

I have Haruhito’s route but I can’t remember whether or not I actually played him? I think I did because I remember Rein 

A Knight’s Devotion:

Lute (basically everything that’s been released for him lol I’m so grabby hands about him)

Be My Princess for GREE: (and countless events...)

Keith Alford

Joshua Lieben

Glenn J. Casiraghi

Be My Princess:

Wilfred A. Spencer (MS + sequel)

Keith Alford

Glenn J. Casiraghi

Joshua Lieben

Zain

Falling in love with the butler substory (I said I wouldn’t include substories but I have to include this one ;~~; I remember sitting in lecture during 2nd year undergrad when this came out and flipping out)

Be My Princess 2:

Ivan Chernenkov

Celebrity Darling for GREE:

Sho Kiriya

Kyosuke Nakanishi (hey remember when I was writing a fic version of the kiss event? lol that was like one of my first ever blog posts on here!!)

Celebrity Darling:

Sho Kiriya

Natsuki Orihara 

Dreamy Days in West Tokyo:

Haruki Tanemura (MS + sequel)

Takeshi Yuno (literally every route)

Enchanted in the Moonlight:

Miyabi 

Samon

Chikage (all routes)

Era of Samurai: Code of Love

I think I played Hijikata when he was free

Her Love in the Force:

Hyogo Kaga (all routes)

Shusuke Soma (all routes)

Ayumu Shinonome (all routes)

Toru Kurosawa (all routes so far, don’t know that I’ll be bothered with S2 if/when it comes out unless the love rival is Ayumu or Shu lol)

In Your Arms Tonight:

Soji Higashiyama

I have a feeling I played Genji too but for some reason I can’t find evidence of owning his route

Irresistible Mistakes:

Toma Kiriya (lost his route in the transfer period RIP?? where did it go)

I played 3 chapters of Shunichiro Tachibana and then couldn’t continue because he’s not Toma 

Kiss of Revenge:

Issei Sezaki

Kissed by the Baddest Bidder:

Luke Foster (MS + sequel)

Eisuke Ichinomiya (when he was free)

I played like 2 chapters of Soryu and then never picked it back up cause I’m a HK girl and I was taught to be afraid of triads lol

Love Letter from Thief X:

Kenshi Inagaki

Hiro Sarashina

Riki Yanase

I have a weird feeling I played Takuto but also have no evidence of owning his route... but I feel like I know so much about him....... what happened......

Masquerade Kiss:

Yuzuru Shiba (all routes)

Kazuomi Shido (all routes)

My Forged Wedding: (tragically I lost all these routes in the transfer to L365)

Yamato Kougami (my first ever purchased i.e. non-GREE route!)

Takamasa Saeki

Ren Shibasaki

My Sweet Bodyguard for GREE:

Subaru Ichiyanagi

Seiji Goto (anyway I was reminiscing about this game with my two best friends of life and Goto was like the one thing they remembered lmaoooo)

My Sweet Bodyguard:

Subaru Ichiyanagi (all routes, I think?)

Mizuki Fujisaki (MS + sequel)

Daichi Katsuragi

Seiji Goto

Toru Kurosawa

Kyoya Hayase

Our Two Bedroom Story:

Kaoru Kirishima

Pirates in Love:

Eduardo

Nathan

Christopher

Pirates in Love: Captain’s Cut:

Shin

Romance MD: Always on Call

Munechika Takado

Tetsuya Hosho

Sakura Amidst Chaos: (aka the only translated Voltage title to actually put the surnames first, even EOSCOL doesn’t)

Oda Nobunaga

Scandal in the Spotlight:

Takashi Ninagawa

Kyohei Rikudoh

Kota Igarashi (all routes until wedding EXCEPT Voltage didn’t transfer them properly to L365 and I lost like 90% of my routes lmao RIP me and my wasted money)

Seduced in the Sleepless City:

Noel Aijima

Ryoichi Hirose

Chihaya Koda

Hibiki Shiina

I have the feeling I played Yuzuki but I can’t remember

Serendipity Next Door:

Shinobu Narita (aka the reason I stopped playing Voltage games for like two years lmaooo. My ultimate nemesis, how I loathe him. By the way why did I buy his epilogue too??? Maybe I thought he would be better in his epilogue? I’m a FOOL)

Masaomi Hibiya (played like one chapter but was too scarred by Shinobu to continue with this title at all)

Star Crossed Myth

Huedhaut (my forever love, naturally I have all his routes. Voltage give us a dramatic wedding story with Hue you cowards)

Leon (MS + sequel, I think I only got his sequel because someone said it was worth it when they finally have sex l m a o)

Scorpio (MS + sequel)

Aigonorus (I always instinctively spell it like “Aigonorous”? why?)

Zyglavis

When Destiny Comes Knocking:

Rheo Usami (don’t know why I lost him from my L365 cause I definitely bought his route?)

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 209: Proud Dads, Determined Rivals, and a Prison Interlude

Previously on BnHA: Team BakuJirouSatouSero scored a flawless 4-0 victory against Team TokaBondoAwaKama. Here’s how it went down: (1) Bakugou protected Jirou and everyone watching was like “holy shit did Bakugou just protect Jirou??” and his classmates were like “YES THAT JUST HAPPENED”; (2) Awase welded Bakugou to some columns with his quirk; (3) Satou used his own quirk to smash Bakugou free; (4) Jirou stunned Awase with her quirk and Sero tied him up; (5) Bakugou blasted Bondo and Satou restrained him afterward; (6) everyone watching was like “SO BAKUGOU DOES TEAMWORK NOW?!” and again his classmates were like “YES”; (7) Bakugou flung Kamakiri into a wall, which looked like it hurt, sorry Kamakiri; (8) we learned that Bakugou had given some extra grenades to his teammates and they’d used them to blow up a bunch of Tokage’s amputated body parts, forcing her to regenerate and use up her stamina; and finally, (9) the depleted Tokage flew right into Bakugou and he took her out with a (Point-Blank) Stun Grenade attack. Basically it was just Bakugou is Awesome: The Chapter. If I didn’t know any better I’d think I had fantasized this whole fucking thing you guys. THAT’S MY BOYYYY.

Today on BnHA: Aizawa gives his team a thumbs up and Kaminari is all “WOW KACCHAN YOU REALLY CAN BE NOT-A-JERK IF YOU TRY HUH” and All Might is all “chills, Young Bakugou. LITERAL CHILLS” and that last bit makes Bakugou get all shy and embarrassed and it’s super fucking cute. Then he bumps into Deku and Deku is all “wow that was awesome” and Bakugou is all “you can’t beat me” and Deku is all “nah I can” and it goes on like this for a page and then Bakugou leaves and then All Might is all “I ship it.” Over on class B’s side, Monoma and his team begin to strategize for their upcoming battle. Everyone agrees that their first priority should be to take out Deku because You Just Don’t Fuck With Deku. The 5th set begins, and it’s honestly too many names to squish together, I’m gonna be real with y’all, but anyway so Deku’s side also has Mina, Ochako, and Mineta though. And their plan is to have Deku be a decoy and draw out Team B’s most troublesome members (i.e. Shinsou). As things get started, All Might gets a call from Gran Torino. We then cut to Tartarus of all places, where Prisoner #1541, better known as All for One, is squirming around and making the guards nervous. Turns out AFO is excited because apparently he can “hear his little brother’s voice.” Um. Okay.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my mostly-unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’m caught up with the manga now at chapter 224, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

haHA!

THAT’S HOW WE DOOOOOOOOOO

oh man. that was such a rush. how could anyone possibly not enjoy that. I think even Aizawa was probably pumping his fist a couple of times and then trying to play it off like he didn’t care lol

poor Vlad King

I wonder how this will change people’s strategies going up against Bakugou in the future. the kid whose own classmates once worried that he wouldn’t accept being rescued even when his life was literally on the line just pulled off some of the smoothest fucking teamwork I’ve ever seen. I mean that shit was seamless. and “cooperation” was this kid’s one and only weak stat before; moving forward it’s getting harder and harder to imagine how anyone could possibly beat him

and lest I not give the others the credit they deserve, they were outstanding as well. Satou with the clutch save and then later helping to apprehend Bondo! Sero who made expert use of his quirk to get the others in position and to capture Awase! and then being the one to figure out Tokage’s weakness and exploit it! and last but most definitely not least my girl Jirou, who kept the others advised of class B’s movements throughout and was the one to actually KO Awase before Sero tied him up!

basically they all did so gooood. even Aizawa can’t possibly find anything to chew them out for can he? lol I’m so proud of my babies

HAHA!!

HE GAVE THEM A THUMBS UP! HE’S ALMOST SMILING! OH MY GOD THAT MEANS THEY DID AMAZING. AND HE EVEN FOUND A WAY TO WORK IN SOME EXTRA COMPLIMENTS FOR PROBLEM CHILD #2 OVER THERE. AWW

meanwhile poor Vlad can’t find much to say either because let’s be real there’s no way his kids were ever gonna win that one

“based on past data” wow you guys I wonder if I’m ever going to stop being over the moon about this lol

but I mean, that’s exactly why I’m so psyched! it’s that slow burn character development! this was done so, so painstakingly, and little by little all the groundwork was put in until we finally reached the payoff. and that’s why it’s so satisfying. it’s because this is the side of Bakugou that I’ve been waiting for from the very start. this is him finally achieving the potential he has always had. it took so much patience and it was so, so worth it. so yeah. fuck it. I’m gonna keep being giddy about it

poor Tokage is apologizing to her teammates and she looks really worn out and I feel bad :( poor girl

but Awase is all “if someone with moves like his turns into a ‘goody two-shoes’, they have no holes to exploit” and oh my god lol. that’s what I’m saying, though. lol everyone is so fucked now :DDDD “well fuck us, if Bakugou’s not even going to be an asshole anymore then we might as well roll over and die now”

OH MY GOD

NEW FAVORITE PANEL ALERT

LET’S ANALYZE EVERYTHING!!! LET’S FUCKING DO IT!!

“KACCHAN” IS ALIVE AND WELL, I SEE!

BUT RIGHT AWAY HE COMPLIMENTS JIROU AS WELL BECAUSE KAMINARI IS HERE DOING HIS PART IN THIS THE YEAR TWENTY BI-TEEN

WELL DUH, SHE’S A HERO KAMINARI!!!

“A DELINQUENT PICKING UP A BUNCH OF STRAY CATS” SDFLAKSDFKJL WHAT AN AMAZING SIMILE. SERO YOU CAN COME SIT BY ME

and last but not least, there isn’t so much as a blink in regards to the “Kacchan.” this seriously is going to be his new hero name. this has gone from “I sure would love it if...” to “I’m actually starting to become increasingly sure of this” to “I would put solid money on it and would be amazed at this point if it doesn’t end up happening.” honestly I just want it to happen already lol

(ETA: yeah I might lose that bet lol. I still would love this because Parallels, but those Ground Zero feels from 223 have me rethinking my entire life ngl. btw that turned out to be “ground zero” spelled out in katakana though, not 爆心地/bakushinchi, so who knows. still kinda up in the air here.)

-- oh my fucking god you guys!!

ahhhhhhhhhhhhh ;______;

let’s analyze everything again omgggggg

look at Kacchan’s face. look at how he’s ignoring the others behind him entirely. his focus is entirely on All Might here. just waiting for his response. trying his best not to show how important it actually is to him

and All Might’s exceedingly proud face, and that praise. “CHILLS, YOUNG BAKUGOU. YOU GAVE ME FUCKING CHILLS” lmaoooo

AND THEN KACCHAN’S ULTIMATE TSUNDERE RESPONSE!!!

HE HAD TO TURN AWAY IMMEDIATELY SO THAT ALL MIGHT WOULDN’T SEE IF HE BLEW IT AND FUCKING BLUSHED OR SOMETHING

THE LEFT HAND MOVING UP TO HIS EAR! you’re telling me this kid, Bakugou fucking Katsuki, THE COCKIEST BOY WHO EVER LIVED, actually felt self-conscious to the point where he had to turn away and was all “whatever it’s not a big deal” and rubbing at his ear and avoiding eye contact with fucking everyone because he was so fucking happy that he made All Might proud, and no one can ever know!!!! QUICK, SAY SOMETHING COOL! “...YOU PROBABLY JUST CAUGHT A COLD OR SOMETHING.” NAILED IT!! SO SMOOTH KACCHAN

oh my god you guys this moment is seriously everything to me though. I’m so fucking happy for him. and he is so fucking cute jesus christ I want to pinch his adorable embarrassed cheeks ffff

OH HELLO

“REFLEX” I LOVE THAT THEY HAD TO CLARIFY IT. BECAUSE HE’S NOT THAT MEAN ANYMORE AND WE JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE PEOPLE KNOW

but he was so wrapped up in the praise he just got from his hero that when Deku startled him he got so flustered and he just automatically slipped back into what he knows. “nuuu leave me aloneeee.” HE’S NOT EVEN IN YOUR WAY THOUGH

SDFLKASHLDKFJ

PEOPLE OF THE WORLD, BNHA FUCKING DARES YOU NOT TO SHIP THESE IDIOTS. YEAH GO ON. JUST TRY IT

DSKAFDSHLFKHAWOIFHWOKFHSLK

lol unlike with All Might, Kacchan knows exactly how to respond to Deku’s praise by this point

but they’ve seriously come such a long way as well. look at how Katsuki’s response acknowledges Deku’s strength even as he keeps the rivalry alive and well. “you’ll never be able to catch up.” acknowledging Deku as the threat he is, the one who pushes him to keep improving

and then Deku’s confident response, slipping right into a rapport with him. no stammering or hesitation. just his own cocky little grin. he’s fucking living for this. being rivals with Kacchan! don’t mind him it’s just everything he ever wanted that’s all

lol so now Katsuki’s telling him to shut up and that he’ll never be able to surpass him!

and Deku’s all

I stan two (2) idiot rivalboys who are just starting to heal their relationship after so long and let me tell you guys it is an absolute and utter pleasure to see it go down and I am here for it and will be here for it as it continues to progress and as Katsuki continues to learn how to be Less Of A Jerk and make amends for his Past Bullshit and the two of them continue to establish this rivalry and then start to take their next steps toward the final stage, the endgame if you will, which is being partners who actually trust one another. oh my god. and I can’t fucking believe we’re finally within sight of that now though and oh my fucking god you guys

what are you thinking All Miiiiiiiight. I just explained to you all of my ten zillion thoughts on this so now you give me one of yours!

asldfkjalsfdjoi

OH SO YOU WERE SHIPPING THEM TOO HUH

ffffffff I’m telling you, every time he looks at the two of them together he sees their future selves, working together and trusting one another and relying on one another and together being the greatest heroes the world has ever known. All Might is the original BakuDeku shipper. he loves them so much and he’s so proud of them

and look at the word he uses there. friend. once again seeing through all of their fronting and other nonsense to the core of what they really are. and “friend” is not a word you could use to describe what Katsuki is to Izuku until very recently, but he’s absolutely right. we saw that earlier today when Katsuki saw them talking and came over and asked if anything had happened with OFA and then listened and reassured Izuku. that wasn’t rivalry, there -- that was care and concern (very brusquely offered but still). we are officially entering a whole new stage of this thing you guys, and fucking bring it on

also Deku’s face though. like, he was trying to keep that Rival Smirk in place, but look at the Actual Grin fighting to work its way out and him being so excited because it’s Kacchan and it’s what he’s wanted for so long ffff

ANYWAY. so we’re finally going to move on from the BakuDeku part of this chapter now though so say farewell

(ETA: oh my god this one section of this recap analyzing three fucking pages was longer than some of my other recaps in their entirety. sorry, guys; I see a pair of rivals and I lose all self control.)

All Might is adding “other than that potty mouth of his” which is Classic All Might, and meanwhile Shinsou is watching the two of them (All Might and Deku) with an indecipherable expression, oh my

anyway so now we turn to our other resident cocky blond

“not half bad” from Monoma in reference to Katsuki is like a fucking Michelin star holy shit

now Tokage is coming up to him dejected and apologizing and saying that it’s mathematically impossible for class B to win now

well that is true but they can still tie though. honestly I have no idea how this last fight will go now

wow Monoma

that accelerated from insightful to pompous so quickly I don’t think anyone even had time to strap themselves in

“everyone is a supporting character in someone else’s life, and the main character in their own” fucking what lmao

I mean, he’s not wrong though. unless you’re Deku. then you’re just The Main Character. surprise! a good way to tell if you’re actually the main character in everyone’s lives and not just your own is if you get attacked by villains in every single arc btw

so Kakashi Girl is asking what is Monoma’s plan anyway

did they not come up with one yet?? they had all that time! the most time out of anyone!

Shouda says they should adapt a strategy similar to Tokage’s team

sure, if you also want to get beat 4-0 in a record five minutes

so he says they should stick together and keep themselves concealed and that there are no merits in challenging the other team to hand-to-hand combat

whatever you say. I only know two of you guys’ quirks here. I personally would be looking to take advantage of the Monoma-borrows-Shinsou’s-quirk strategy to take them by surprise, which is only going to work once but damned if it won’t be really fun to watch though

absolutely. he’s the Bakugou of their team, for sure. but if you thought Kacchan’s team had good teamwork, you ain’t seen nothing yet though

and also don’t forget that my girl Uraraka “gon’ fuck your shit UP” Ochako is also on this team! anyone wants to underestimate her, it’s at their own risk

apparently class B has been doing their research and keeping up with the times, because they’re aware that Deku’s style has come a long long way from the days of the sports festival. they even know about his new long-distance attacks! wow

also they describe him as “Bakugou’s equal or maybe even greater” in terms of both mobility and power, which is excellent. this series keeps giving me what I want

so Shinsou agrees that they need to take out Deku first “no matter the cost.” but he’s bringing up the fact that Deku is able to escape from his brainwashing

oooooh

ehhhh but I kinda feel like that’s a waste of the potential that Monoma-with-Shinsou’s-quirk has, and I don’t get how doubling down would do anything other than just make things more complicated. and also, won’t Deku’s team be on the lookout for Shinsou’s quirk now? idk just seems like a lot of things that could go wrong here. this fight is going to be so interesting

Monoma looks thoughtful and says that it’s possible “things won’t go as planned for me either”

but he says that either way they need to stop Deku from roaming free or they have no chance. “I’m counting on you, Shinsou”

so now the teachers are gathered and saying that this is the last round, which we already know. “I wonder how Shinsou will fare?”

I know Aizawa is actually way more invested in this than he’s letting on, so I’m officially rooting for class B here despite my best boy and best girl Izuku and Ochako being on the class A team. sorry guys. but I just want your new brother to do well so he can be accepted into your class and get to be your brother full time!

I highly doubt that they will! so now we’ll see whether or not he can adapt!

oh shit I forgot Mineta was on this team. hey team B I’m giving you guys a freebie. you can just come pick him up now

anyway so on their side they are of course worried the most about Shinsou. though Ochako’s reminding them that they should be worried about everyone!

lol that started out as what seemed to be a pep talk, but then turned into more of a “there’s actually way more ways we could lose than just that!” type of thing lmao

and what is this now

did you guys spend all your time practicing this instead of coming up with some actual strategies. we fucking know what you can do you boobs

lmaoooooo

what are you talking about!? honestly you could probably combine your quirks and still pull out a win even without Deku if you tried. Mina what happened to all that creativity you were overflowing with during the Band AU arc??

(ETA: thankfully she’s still got it! lol watch your back Mineta)

and anyway, since you do have Deku though, this team is basically Bakugou’s Team 2.0. the possibilities are endless! you guys are so fucking versatile! stop getting down on yourselves! where is the leadership?? the last group only just showed everyone how much of a difference that shit makes. Deku where are you

oh there you are

would that really work? I know if it was me on team B and I saw Deku off on his own I’d be like “okay great, let’s stay as far the fuck away from him as possible and go after the others while they’re undefended”

oh apparently he told them all about his weird quirk mishap earlier because Mina’s asking him how he’s doing now

but he says he’s feeling fine, same as always

and he thinks that after watching the 4th set, they’ll be on their guard against him though. yeah exactly

Mineta’s asking if he’s going to be all right because they’re relying on him

oh y’all know I’m living for this calm heroic confidence

this right here. is exactly the type of hero I want Deku to be. oh my god I’m so fucking proud of my boys in this arc, though

SHUT UP MINETA

STEADFAST DEKU IS THE BEST DEKU. GO GET YOURSELF CAPTURED BY SHINSOU ALREADY IF YOU’RE GONNA BE LIKE THAT

so now Deku’s flexing his hand and he says nothing feels off

sdlfkhalsdkflj

“after he lit a fire under me like that” oh my god. and this is why their rivalry is my favorite fucking part of the series. just look at how they push each other. Kacchan just gave the performance of a lifetime after reluctantly learning the true meaning of Christmas from the boy he formerly thought of as a pebble in his shoe. and now Deku is here calmly telling everyone they’re definitely going to win, and thinking determined thoughts after getting all fired up after that talk with his best friend. CAN I CALL THEM THAT YET? NO? I’M BEING TOLD I JUMPED THE GUN EXTREMELY BY A WHOLE LOT? ARE YOU SURE? OKAY SORRY I JUST GOT EXCITED MY BAD. BUT GIVE IT A LITTLE MORE TIME THOUGH?

anyways so Vlad is all “BEGIN!” and there are two big panels of the teams getting all set to go!

oh shit and now All Might’s phone is ringing unexpectedly

lol @ Midnight telling him to shut that thing off. All Might that’s so rude

oh shit it’s Gran! that was fast. oh my god now they can talk about Deku’s weird quirk bullshit yessssssssss

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ISN’T THIS TARTARUS?!?!

ASDFKLHLKJL

jesus christ. if you have upwards of 1500 extremely dangerous high security prisoners, then maybe just maybe you might want to go ahead and refer to them by their fucking names just for simplicity’s sake. “which one is 1541 again?” like is it good or bad that he moved? these are circumstances where even a split second of having to go through your mental filing system to recall who’s who might end up being disastrous if things go wrong

anyways don’t mind me, just nitpicking really stupid things instead of getting on with the story. okay so who is that. is it AFO??

so the guard is mumbling that it would be nice if they could hurry up with “the decision and execution” of 1541’s sentence. “at this rate we won’t be able to last”

wow. so it must be AFO, right? if they’re just letting him move around all the time, they really are screwed. what, were those gun turrets just for show? he’ll be out of there in a blink of an eye once he finally feels like it

and now we’re cutting to the cells and I’m preeeeetty sure this is AFO talking with Stain here

Chaplin sounds like some redpill prick if you ask me

also I’m not quite sure but did they just confirm that Chaplin is Gigantomachia’s true identity?

I just went and checked JBox’s translation and they made it seem like Giganto is Chaplin’s subordinate. which can’t be right because we know he’s AFO’s. serves me right for trying to verify something with JBox. I’ll just check Caleb Cook’s twitter after this and see what his thoughts are

-- wait hold up. now it looks like the guards talking. maybe JBox was right after all

(ETA: okay I wasn’t able to check Viz’s version to verify, but I think this is actually the guards talking and the correct translation should be “he’s his direct subordinate,” with him being All for One. the original Japanese line was “直系の部下だ” which basically means “he is [their] direct subordinate” without actually clarifying whose subordinate they are, so it’s a bit confusing when you don’t know who’s talking. anyways!!)

anyway so they’re saying that AFO has tons of other followers still in hiding and that it’s not just the league. and that they have to be careful not to provoke them

eh, I’d say it’s worth the risk. these other villains ain’t shit compared to AFO and we all know it. but if you leave him alive, and he gets out and regains his strength and retakes his place at the head of them all, then we’re talking about an all-out war potentially

which is actually where I’m thinking the series might be headed though. at least for the final arc. so I guess we’ll see

um whoa

seriously?? you too?? oh shit what the hell is even going on

anyways so that’s the end. oh my god. the series is getting so good again. it’s actually been really good since the Endeavorhawks arc honestly. like we’re almost back at full steam again. big things are coming, we’re heading toward another huge arc, I can feel it, and I can’t wait

[kitto-toberu-sa]

Sailor Moon The Super Live Report - September 7th (first performance, musical note team)

Place: Aiia Theatre Placement: Row 8, Seat 32 (first row, second block, roughly middle)

Show part Not gonna lie, the only reason why I went a third time was because of Chiyuu. Kasai Tomomi, former member of AKB48, is Sailor Moon this time. I’m not even that big of a fan of hers, tbh, she’s done some stuff I really don’t agree with in the past, but she’s besties with one of my fave singers and her last album was LIT. So hopefully this is her new STAR-T.  

This performance turned out to be my favourite of the three. The seats were the best, the high touch was the best (partly because I went to the previous high touch), vocals were on point, Chiyuu was great and so many other things.

To start with, they open the doors an hour before show time. You then need to wait in the lobby for half an hour before they let you into the seating area. So there I was, chilling in the lobby, when two older ladies come up and talk to a staff member after being introduced by another staff member. Jaws dropped. It was the original voice actresses for Jupiter and Venus!

They were standing less than a meter from me! It was honestly so surreal?? They were dressed casual and just chatted normally before going off to the side to wait like everyone else. Rica (Venus) had a ridiculous amount of Venus merch on her, which was honestly adorable. She also responded to me on twitter later <3 (Speaking of which, I commented on Kunzite’s insta twice and got responses both time. She seems lovely, so please support her too!)

As a quick cast comparison, personally I like this group’s vocals. I haven’t checked but they probably are more musically trained. Chiyuu was an idol for six years or so, and is still continuing her solo career, so it’d kinda make sense if the note team was made of those with a musical background. I did think the vocals were a bit more towards “we’re senshi” side; the heart team was more “we’re teenagers who moonlight as senshi” type vocals (lighter? I guess? Higher pitched?). However, all of the vocals were a lot more stable in this team, with none of the mic issues etc of heart team.

I still prefer Sena as Venus. She was a lot more bubbly, while also being able to do the senshi side well. This Venus had very little reaction to Kunzite’s death. Though I did notice this time that the rest of the senshi appear to get their memories back at this time too. Jupiter really stood out this time around. You could see she was putting her absolute all into it and I can really respect that. This Mercury was also really great. Her voice was just sweet enough, but had the power heart team’s Mercury lacked. As a whole, this cast seemed less nervous and more confident, and smiled a lot more often.

Kasai as Moon was AMAZING! The other Moon stuck to the script, but Kasai kept adding in natural sound? I guess? She made the dialogue flow more, by adding a few extra words or cried more or whatever. It made it seem less like a play, and more real. She definitely got the dreamy side of Usagi down, and she held the confidence of Moon against Beryl, which I adored. She was honestly the perfect Usagi and I’m so glad she was able to have this opportunity. If this is released on dvd (note, no camera at shonichi or tonight, but there was a camera for the last show of heart team), I hope they release a version with her team <3

There were pretty much no mistakes from this cast. They seem to have improved on everyone else’s mistakes. This isn’t just the cast – the crew has done this as well. For example, where the classmates are zombified, they’ve had more glow in the dark components to their costumes. There were no mic issues. There was no issue with the sheet/Beryl’s dark energy.

The only mistake came from Tuxedo Mask. He couldn’t get the veil into Usagi’s hair. In the end he was like ‘well who cares lmao’ and put it on one of the horses lmaoooo Oops, sorry, another lie. Moon accidentally turned the moon rod on for a brief second. I still think the rod should have been painted so it wasn’t as ugly and it should have been kept on tbh. Overall, it was a flawless performance.

As for the differences in the performance, apart from Usagi being more vocal in the best way’s possible, it was essentially the same show. There was still no dialogue from the leaving students, though Haruna stamped her feet, in what I’m assuming is a “Usgai get your butt out of this classroom NOW” type thing. Shame, because that bit of ‘see you’ ‘oh we have homework’ type thing did the same as Usagi – make it more human and natural.

I’m going to be biased and say my favourite part was when Usagi runs through the audience at the start yelling that she’s late. I currently have blue hair, so I stick out, and I was right where she runs past. When she’s running, she talks to a few audience members. Standing out, she pointed at my necklace.

“Wow! That necklace is cute! How much was it?” Me: -doing my best goldfish impression because Kasai Tomomi si ridiculously cute in person and talking to me?????- “WOW! A million dollars?! EXPENSIVE!”

She then ran off, remembering she was late. (All of this was in Japanese.)

So considering she was the reason I came, I more than feel like I got my money’s worth from this show XD

Song part Same same. But different.

This cast definitely had a much more powerful La Soldier, but I liked heart team’s Otome no Policy better. Their voices were softer and a lot better for the more emotional songs imo.

For Moonlight Densetsu, when they were walking around the audience, I managed to get high fives from all of them bar Moon and Mask~

Mercury came by first briefly, followed by Venus iirc, then Jupiter (she’s got such a nice smile!~) and then Mars. Mars kinda dragged her hand so it was a long high touch haha

At the end of the show, they release a bunch of streamers? I’ve honestly never seen the point of grabbing them because what do you do with them?? But I grabbed one that night. Lucky I was so quick because a staff member came up straight away to snatch them away lol

(But what do I do with it..?)

The crowd was really interesting. A lot of the crowd was male, and there for Tomomi (a lot of female fans were too). However, a lot of the dudes had no idea what Sailor Moon was meant to be about (beside magical girl) so while waiting before the show (which started 15 minutes late? Everyone was getting low key annoyed) and after, waiting for the high touch, a lot of girls were trying to explain to these middle aged business men what the show was about. So shout out to the Sailor Moon community for being cool with new people coming into the fandom, even if it is for just a moment.

High Touch The line up was Jupiter, Mercury, Mask, Moon, Mars, Venus.

I barely had any time with Jupiter, but she has a pretty smile so who cares. I told her today was great and she was happy with that. Mercury commented that we had the same colour hair so I stan her for life now. She’s so cute! Mask remembered me from the other day~ (I mean, how many blue haired foreigners have come to see the show?? ;;;) There was a little bit of a hold up, so I was able to hold her hand~ I told her today was amazing and I’d continue to support her, and the returning smile I got killed me.

Tomomi also remembered me! “Oh! It’s you from earlier!” Again, told her it was great and I’d support her. She looks so good as Moon? Like, really natural. I forgot how short she was tho ;; She’s a good 12cm shorter than me lol

Mars was so cool and kind too. Same for Venus, but as much as I liked her, Sena is the only Venus for me. Sorry!

Tonight I got Mars as my bookmark thing, so I’m super happy! Overall, this experience was fun! Tonight was an amazing night, and Chiyuu did such a great job as Moon, so I’m sure by closing night she had it seriously nailed. The whole three times were great fun, and I had debated getting a forth ticket. Not only is that slight overkill, but the rest of the shows were only giving goods away, so not worth it. But a great night was had and I’d highly recommend the show. Go see them in France if you can!

Summary Enjoyable: 5/5 Worth the ticket price: 5/5 Re-watchable: 4/5 If this was sold on dvd, would I buy it: 4/5

[i-amusemyself]

All of the 'Get to Know Me'.

Aaaah tysm!!!

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

(Jokes on you I only usually have 3 songs on repeat at any one time :’-D ) Atm though: Work Song - Hozier, Rats- Miw, Wastelands- Amber Run, Dragula- Rob Zombie, Fireflies- Owl city (yh really), To build a home- The cinematic orchestra.

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

I…don’t know. I’m really not that into meeting ‘idols’ or anything. I guess it’d be pretty cool to meet Kaitlyn Alexander but honestly I’m not sure the anxiety would be worth it.

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

“It’s a body,” I said, “A dead body.” lmao

4: What do you think about most?

I imagine what life is going to be like when I get to uni or who/what it’ll be that finally makes me happy.

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

“Off to stuff my face with chinese food, talk to you later bro”

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

Clothes on unless it’s above 25 degrees bc I don’t wanna die (like that)

7: What’s your strangest talent?

Lmaooo talent?! Me?! Idk I’m learning how to do special effects makeup and a couple of people have said its p cool. Also I can do this weird thing with my tongue where it basically rolls in on itself (seems to be genetic)

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

Girls are all ethereal goddesses out of my league.

Boys are not my area of expertise.

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

As if lmao! Ain’t no one ever liked me that much.

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

I can’t remember so I did it just now to make up for it.

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

I hate cuddly toys with battery packs in them with a passion.

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

Nooo

13: What’s your religion?

Don’t have one, I’m an atheist.

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Cleaning up my rabbits’ mess.

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Behind it I think

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

Honestly it depends on the time of day, when I last ate, the luna cycle… I genuinely don’t have one I can’t answer that

17: What was the last lie you told?

Um, I lied about what I watched on TV last night lmao

18: Do you believe in karma?

I’m not sure, I kinda just hope it exists and that helps keep me sane.

19: What does your URL mean?

It’s pretty self explanatory lmao

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

I don’t know, for the weakness I’m torn between caring too much and saying the wrong thing.

And I wouldn’t call it a major strength but I have a lot of patience.

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

I don’t know (I barely have an interest in anything atm), given I have an entire fanblog dedicated to them I’ll say Kaitlyn Alexander again

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

Nope not yet

23: How do you vent your anger?

I have a personal blog ( @the-emotional-equilibrium​ ) that I rant on

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

I have an embarrassing number of kermit memes on my phone

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

Video chatting for sure, I like to be able to see people’s faces (also I hate phone calls they’re too awkward).

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

I think I’m a work in progress really. I’m happier with myself than I used to be, but there’s always things I want to change or could improve on and I know I’m never going to be perfect.

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

I hate the sound of fabric being ripped, it makes me shiver but I love, idk, that sound when you’re just lying outside and you can hear the birds and stuff. Idk, I don’t listen to much besides music.

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

Argh, erm, I wonder how different life would have been if I’d learnt to stand up for myself earlier. I’d probably have fewer regrets.

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

Ghosts I’m really not sure about. Up until recently I would’ve said no, but honestly I don’t know what to believe anymore. As for aliens they’re definitely real.

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

Right arm: A cushion on the sofa. Left arm: The wall. Exciting right?

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

Chicken! (Making lunch atm)

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

Lmfaooooo idk???? Not a physical place anyway. When I was really little I once had to stand outside in the snow for about 3 hours and I remember being pretty sure I was gonna die, like it was such a horrible feeling being that cold.

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

East coast! I mean, that’s just based on where my friend lives and nothing else but

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

Lmfao opposite?! Okay so let’s just assume that means a guy but erm? Idk? Okay I admit I have a slight thing for half the guys in MIW so lets just go with that

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

To have the best time possible and end it with minimal regrets. Also to try to help other people to have a better time to.

36: Define Art.

Stuff you can look at that takes actual talent and imagination.

37: Do you believe in luck?

Not really? I mean sometimes I might consider things Unlucky but tbh I have no idea what I mean by that.

38: What’s the weather like right now?

Pretty boring tbh, it’s just a grey sky with a bit of a breeze.

39: What time is it?

2:49 pm

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

I passed my test a few months back but I haven’t driven since so thankfully I haven’t had a chance to crash yet

41: What was the last book you read?

The 5 people You Meet in Heaven….and that was last July smh

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

Love it. It’s the smell of my childhood.

43: Do you have any nicknames?

Most people at school call me Scaz and most my friends outside of school refer to me as Chorlo. (or Wholemeal Chorlo if your name is ellie)

44: What was the last film you saw?

I watched Shrek 2 last night lmfao I forgot how good it was!!

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

I’ve broken quite a few bones but I’m lucky never to have done anything awful. Um, the worst was probably when I broke my elbow or when I tore my side open on a nail jumping off a fence.

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

Aaah yeah I used to catch them every summer!

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

I guess I’m between obsessions at the minute; though I’m kind of hooked on supernatural ngl

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

Fuck knows. Not straight. I defo like girls but idk about guys.

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

Multiple smh. This one girl once spread a rumor I was a lesbian and I was gay for her (before I even came out) and tbh she’d have been lucky. (She was kinda obsessed with me, she was probs suppressing something). It did kinda ruin my confidence though because of all the reactions so I didn’t come out for another 2 years.

50: Do you believe in magic?

I don’t know what to believe anymore, but I’m kind of open to learning more about it.

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

Yeah smh. I have a pretty high Grudge Threshold in that I give people a lot of chances but once they reach that level there’s no going back and I won’t forget what they did.

52: What is your astrological sign?

Libra

53: Do you save money or spend it?

I either save it for months or blow my savings in an hour.

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

A bus ticket?

55: Love or lust?

Love defo

56: In a relationship?

As if lmao

57: How many relationships have you had?

Three, but none of them lasted that long

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

Nope

59: Where were you yesterday?

At home all day working

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

I’m sitting on a pink sofa lol

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

Yeaaah, one is glittery the other has skulls on which sums me up pretty well tbh

62: What’s your favourite animal?

I love so many animals I don’t know!! Capybaras? Alpacas? Giraffes? Chimps? Idk?!

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

Lmaoooo I have no idea I haven’t found it yet

64: Where is your best friend?

3918 miles away on the east coast of the USA (I get to see her in 9 days though I’m so excited!!)

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

(I won’t tag them but in no particular order) Pansexi-unicorn, onetinygay, shrekthelesbian, oneshappyplace and only-slightly-dangerous

66: What is your heritage?

I’m white as a toilet m8. Nah a lot of my family comes from Denmark/scandinavia which you can kind of tell from looking at me tbh

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

Sleeping. Sorry that’s not more interesting.

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

I think it’s like, double barrel as in May-Trump or something

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

Maybe..

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

Errrm, sort of? I try to make an effort, so that’d be nice. But I’m so quiet and shy sometimes that if I was friends with myself we’d probably never talk lmao

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Save the dog, no doubt about it. If my boss is that much of a dick I’ll probably lose my job sooner or later, so I might as well lose it helping out a doggo.

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) I’d tell the people closest to me, but maybe not straight away depending on how I thought they’d react.

b) I’d probably blow my saving and go travelling. I mean, what else is there to do? Oh and finish bingewatching all my shows at that time bc dying on a cliffhanger would really piss me off.

c) Maybe a little? Just because once you die you’re alone with whatever the hell comes after (pun not intended).

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

Argh?! Trust? I guess? No point having love if you can’t trust people.

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men and Fireflies by Owl City. They both bring on such nostalgia.

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

6666 as far as the internet is concerned.

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

Just like, having someone you can chill with and open up to. Someone where you don’t have to care about embarrassing yourself with or worry about constantly because you trust them. Just like, a super cool friendship but with kissing.

77: How can I win your heart?

Don’t be afraid to be yourself I guess. I love interesting people that don’t pretend to be someone else. Also interesting people with swords.

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

Who am I to answer that? Idk, I suppose yeah.

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

Cutting off shitty people and actually valuing myself enough to find new friends.

80: What size shoes do you wear?

7 (could be a lot worse given my height)

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

Something along the lines of “I’m just dormant” or “Nothing is set in stone.”

82: What is your favourite word?

Un sacapuntas

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

Break

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

“I amuse myself” or “what the fuck”

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

Alive (i think its called) by Sia

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

Black, red and purple

87: What is your current desktop picture?

It’s a galaxy spacey thing

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

I’m torn between Putin and Kim Jong Un (no need to worry about Trump, I’m sure someone already has a plan.)

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

The third question in my inbox rn lmao

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

(I was so tempted to say “ask if they prefer being the big or little spoon” why am I like this)

Idk id probs strike up a convo whilst looking around the room for the best weapon just in case.

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

Hmmm, I think mind reading would be useful but it might make my anxiety even worse! So that or teleportation.

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

Any half hour when I wasn’t stressed about exams lmao (bonus if the weather was good)

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

A guy did something that I wish he hadn’t and I’m still fucked up by it sooo that.

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

I honestly don’t know, it’s not something I’ve thought about with “music-celebrities” lmao

Edit: Hold up I’ve just remembered Halsey exists.

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

The place I’m going in 9 dayyys!! (Or Copenhagen)

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

Not that I know of.

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

When I was really little and hopefully never again

98: Ever been on a plane?

Yup a couple of times

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

For fucks sake can’t you all just educate yourselves and get along? Stop. Killing. Each. Other.

[defunctblogtobedeleted]

1/14/17, 5:41am - can’t sleep

too much stuff on my mind. and a bit of a headache. I know I said I’d quit this thing, but I can’t. but as far as I’m concerned, if I’m going to cop out of that I’m at least going to swear off the kiss-and-tell braggadocio though. And tone down the negative vibe. 

This aboutta be some feelgood shit up in here. 

I mean not everything’s going great. To be totally honest I still have literally no idea how this financial situation is going to work out. But I’m sure it will.

But my friends have been so good to me. I love them all so much.

Need to start with the excellent gourmet kingdom dinner that I went out to with the smash fam on wednesday. Lucas, Corey, Dylan, Patricio, Clem, Jwilli, Spencer all treated me. Fuck I hope I’m not forgetting someone lmao. I know I’m forgetting like one or two mofukkas. I wasn’t going to go ofc, but since I wasn’t going to go because money was tight they offered to pay for my meal and I reluctantly accepted.  [as much as i’d do it for anyone, I still feel a little bothered accepting these kinds of gifts from my friends. I don’t really feel like I can’t take care of myself or something, I just feel like I... shouldn’t. Because if I can’t plan on coming out of my own financial problems how can I plan on paying them back and how can I accept a gift in the first place then?]

Thursday I got to team with Ian, and it was some of the most fun I’ve ever had playing in tournament. We DOMINATED the winners bracket of that tournament. only lost one game and had some of the filthiest combos I’ve ever seen in my life. Just got cold waiting for grands and didn’t play as well. Was so much fun though, really made me happy to have poured so much time into practicing. Just gotta keep doing better.

After the tournament a whole ton of people came over to my place to play for the night. Can’t even get into it but it was great. in all I played from 4pm until 6am and only stopped because I got a splitting headache and felt like I was going to die finally hahahah... Probably should have gotten some dinner or somethnig lmao.

I was supposed to try to play with Kevin today, but instead I spent the day with Weilin. Him and a few people had crashed at my place, so we went on a mini road trip to take Decker back to greensboro. We spent a little time trying to get his phone fixed, spent some time trying to find me new pants, ate some delicious gyros and had a long car talk about hentai and the pursuit of happiness and financial goals and life and melee and everything, man. So glad that happened. 

We met up with Arun, Arvind, Irene, and Broscious to eat at Bali Hai and do an escape room out at durham. Got a huge ass plate of meat thanks to weilin covering for me, and had a great time solving the 90′s themed puzzles with the gang. We tore it up, too. Only got stumped by a cd in a book and a madonna song hahaha. Those guys are all some smart motherfuckers, I’ll tell ya whattt. And while we waited for this safe to unlock me and Broscious got to slam down some Pogs and mostly just slap them around on a table hahahahaha. I was supposed to go to a party tonight that my old pokemon go team was throwing to celebrate Kelly turning level 40, but there was no way I was gonna pull myself away from those guys for anything. We spent a couple hours playing board games and talking/gossipping/catching up and getting cookout. Excited as fuck to do it again tomorrow.

But the real reason I’m writing this post is because Irene wanted us to do this neat little thing that was admittedly a little lame but amazingly feelgood and really made me happy. I think she called it a compliment circle, where we all had to think of at least a compliment for each other, and we took turns doing whatever the opposite of a roast is. I really don’t want to forget any of the things that they said, because it’s not often that people go out of their way to give you honest totally-for-nothing compliments, yknow? They’re not verbatim because my short term memory sucks, but I’ll do my best here.

“You’re the best.” “you have a beautiful smile and jaw structure and face and eyes and you’re just a great looking dude and if I were a chick I’d date you and if you were a chick I’d date you, and if we both were chicks I’d date you.” “it seems like you always have a lot of things messing with your life, but despite that you’re always a great person to be around. you never seem to let things get to you and you always have a smile on your face and you’re never a downer.” “you do a lot of things for your friends and the melee community and just people in general. you never really seem to expect anything in return and I don’t think that gets brought up much.” “You make me push myself to be better.” “I like your nose” (weird. broscious, you don’t read my blog, do you??) “you’ve got a really warm personality and do a really great job of including everyone when you try to talk to them and like in the puzzle room.” “You’re always there for me, even at times when nobody else was.”

goddamn, man. I don’t even care if it’s narcissistic to put those down here. I have to put them Somewhere. Literally shed a tear writing them down, I feel so good about all that shit. It really couldn’t have come at a better time with everything hitting the fan and all of my self image issues recently. Maybe they knew that. 

What I didn’t think to tell them then was that it’s friends like them and everyone I hung out this week and everyone in my life that cares about me still that make my life so happy in the first place. It’s like... when I finally get to be in a room with people I know and can enjoy their company it’s like all the bullshit that exists outside just isn’t important anymore. Relaxing by talking and playing games is so fucking wonderful.

Speaking of my issues again, might as well follow up on new years goals and self improvement stuff.

Feeling much better about my teeth. Got my cavities filled (I had fucking TEN), got my teeth cleaned for the first time in years, I’ve finally got this image out of my head that my crowned tooth looks dead. Forreal, idk if it was the cleaning, or just talking to the dentist about whether they think it matches and then thinking about it, or what the deal is, but I Swear ever since I decided it wasn’t worth having my crown replaced again it’s looked better. Matches color better and more consistently, doesn’t look off balanced, I just look good. I really want to blame it on the cleaning but maybe it really was just a mental thing... Idk. I’m just happy my teeth are finally healthy, holy shit thinking about my mouth too hard the past couple years has been horrifying. Right now my gums hurt because I flossed for the first time in forever. Might be why I can’t sleep, but starting good habits.

Don’t know what’s up with my weight, haven’t been keeping track of that yet.

Have been doing Great about drinking water. Have only drank soda on a few occasions at all, back to living on powdered lemonade like I said I would. Probably should still be drinking more, but off to a great start. Still haven’t been on reddit since the new year (though I don’t think I wrote this resolution down), but still passively start to type it in the search bar sometimes. Shit’s difficult. Progress on my septum is put on hold for now, family doctor is waiting to refer me until I have a followup visit with them about my lab work. Supposedly I had “small red blood cells” so like either dehydration or anemia. Probably both lolll. Hopefully not something more serious, but who knows. Been taking a multivitamin daily. Been spending less money lmaoooo.  Haven’t been cooking for myself the past few days but DID start doing that finally. Just gotta keep it up.  Still no good on exercise. Still haven’t bought a pack of cigarettes. Smoking a lot of that pipe tobacco, but it definitely doesn’t make me feel cravings like cigs do. Pretty great there.  Started goofing around on tinder again just to get that out of the way. Got a few matches, but I’ve been sandbagging this game really hard lol. e.g. I’ve been a lottt more picky about who I swipe, way too detailed about how nerdy I am in my profile, and not playing with it all that much tbh. I.e. doing all the things that are probably healthier dating habits but are def not anything close to how you need to play tinder to be successful from what I’ve ever experienced. That being said I’ve already partially rediscovered my hatred for it and think it’s a waste of time, but whatever. Not entirely motivated to meet new people right now anyway, so even if I’m not exactly happy to be swiping through a couple dozen people without matching I’m definitely not let down either. It just doesn’t feel like the right time for me, and also I totally wouldn’t have money for dates now that I think about it lmaoo. Last thing I’m gonna mention is that I haven’t been fucking with my fingers nearly as much. Just lost my week-or-so streak I was on, fidgeting in the car today, but def doing a lot better.

Everything’s doing a lot better. I’m still totally fucked, but I feel pretty great and I’m doing pretty great and everything’s going to be even more great soon enough.

#pogchamp [6:52am. never gonna sleep oh god rip hahaha]