#the most beautiful church I've ever been to

[die-rosastrasse]

Church of the Holy Spirit, Munich

September 2022 (credits belong to this blog)

[charliewrites99]

I can't stop thinking how it would be like if Lestat had his interview with Daniel instead of Louis:

"He was the most beautiful man I've ever seen. He also hated himself, which always helps."

"And then he accused me of killing his brother. As if I didn't wait respectful three days after his death to ask Louis back to my bed."

"His mother was hateful. I could smell it. Great fashion sense though. Dark green was in season at the time."

"I turned him in a church. It was...Oh Daniel, the English language fails to capture the picture. Mainly because it's a garbage language."

"He was really freaking out about the baby, like they can't make a new one."

"And then he went into the woods with him. Like a common prostitute."

"So, Daniel, wanna fuck?"

"Naturally Claudia was an ungratefull little brat, who would be nothing without me. But she at least hunted people, which was more than what Louis was doing. Do you have any idea how humiliating it is to live with a vampire who hunts vermin? Like a glorified house cat. Which he also ate. I was disgusted and yet I never judged him for it."

"I record one duet and suddenly I am cheating. I mean I was and he did catch me in bed with her, but he was such an over-reacter Daniel I am telling you."

"She didn't want to finish THE GAME?!!! Who does that?!! What kind of self-absorbed, inffuriating- NO I WILL NOT CALM DOWN!!!! *French cursing*"

"So, I turned her into a vampire. In retrospect it was a waste of time and blood. She lasted like two months. And ugh, the attitude."

"Louis cried, he still loved me I could see it. I could feel it. Claudia just used me as an ink bottle. I had to respect the commitment. Follow through was something Louis always strugled with."

"No, but seriously Daniel, I think we should fuck."

"And he put me in a light oak coffin that opened from the inside. After I specifically requested Rosewood. I know it was Claudia's doing."

"In the end *dramatic pause* I ate the rats. When I was younger I thought I would rather have been dead than to stoop so low, but here we were."

"I miss him Daniel, he was the reason I wanted to survive. Claudia hopefully perished in Central Europe somewhere. With her mismatched skirts."

"I won't turn you, but I can give you a night you won't forget until the end of you pathetic little human existance. You can top I don't care."

[ysabelmystic]

“I just came from r/196” ask game

Saw another post. I think I should invite y'all to one of our longstanding traditions. Answer the questions then tag 10 (or more) people. I'll go first.

Name? Frankie

Pronouns and gender? he/they/it, transmasc

Sexuality? Lesbian

Country? USA

Top 5 fandoms? Bungou Stray Dogs, Cosmere, All for the Game, Fundiesnark (not a series but I'm too deep in it to not consider it a fandom), .....the tornado fandom? (they're my special interest)

What is your Most forbidden snack? The preserved bones at the Atlanta Bodies Exhibition. They looked so crunchy...

Would you pet a bug? If it's big enough, it is pettable.

Share a weird fact/story about yourself with the class. I like to drive around rural areas and photograph old, sometimes abandoned locations in the dead of night. I have been literally chased out of towns by foot and by car on two separate occasions. The second time this happened, "See You Again" by Miley Cyrus came up on shuffle and that's the soundtrack my friend and I tore out of town to. Also every "guy" I've dated except for my most recent ex (who has big egg energy) is a lesbian now.

What does the color blue taste like? Creme brulee

What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? The appalachian mountains of Tennessee in the middle of summer. There's kudzu everywhere. On the backroads, there were several old, dilapidated Baptist churches barely hanging to the side of the mountain. I wonder how many of them were still in use.

What is the stupidest thing you've ever done? Short version: my friend's house almost got broken into by this dude who'd been stalking us for months while we were home alone. Instead of calling the cops, we decided to confront him with a bow and arrow (me), a hatchet, and a baseball bat (him). The plan was that if it went badly, we would simply throw his corpse into one of the many lakes in the neighborhood and let the alligators eat his remains (this was Florida). Why? Because we were afraid of having our home-alone privileges revoked. Luckily for us all, the guy fucked off and we never saw him again.

Stupidest thing you've seen/heard someone else do/say? My ex thought that Jackalopes were real. Also, a nurse I was doing rotations with apparently thought that "Witness Protection" was for Jehovah's Witnesses.

Hyperfixation song? Young Enough + Bleach by Charly Bliss

Is there any meaning behind your profile picture and/or username? Profile pic; I'm transmasc and I'm currently obsessed with TriStamp. Username; It was my fake internet name when I was like 13. I won't change it because I want my mutuals to recognize me, and because I do have a viral post associated with this name.

Dream career as a child? Doctor (funnily enough I'm now in nursing school)

Dream career as an adult? Professional Jester. Not a comedian. I just want to be some weird little guy who dresses silly and you can hire me to roast your boss at work parties.

Thoughts on cilantro? Delicious

Have you ever been banned from a location and if so, why? I honestly can't remember? Probably... but in recent memory I've mainly banned people from places.

What is your cursed food combination? Pineapple on a hotdog with grilled onions. It Slaps.

Trans rights? TRANS RIGHTS

Tagging: @rocket-mankoi @mostlymarco @atleast8courics @jazzlike39 @gemsweater72 @limbobilbo @ameliaaltare @redcrane112 @theoneofwhomisblue @twinkenjoyer @theultimatecarp and anyone else who wants to jump on

[ohdrarry]

author reclist: toomuchplor

a few months ago, when i was coming back to fandom in earnest, i came across this post from @sitp-recs. explorations of faith, divinity and worship are some of the tropes i find most furiously compelling, so i had to jump into o come, all ye faithful as soon as possible. i did, only to fall headfirst in obsessive, wide-eyed, awe-inspired love. @toomuchplor writes a desire that's both slow and heady, relentless and gentle, all-consuming and a rest stop to breathe easy. i couldn't help but read through (most of) their catalogue in a matter of days. this author's thematic range is astonishing, their characterisations lead to delicious stories where two headstrong, wilful and perennially longing men crash, fumble and rush into achingly sweet love and burning lust.

what always spools me in with plor, though, is their use of circumstance, especially in longer fics. every fic has a premise iron-clad in its fascinating, inventive, raw and exciting potential. more often than not, i've found them doing something i haven't encountered before in fandom at all, or reworking a popular trope in ways that make you go, 'oh. oh, i never thought about that happening, how did i never think of that happening?'

i've loved everything i've read from them, but here's a selection of some of my absolute favourites that i'll be going back to, over and over:

i've got a beautiful feeling (everything's going my way) (E, 3.5k)

“I’ve got such a boner,” Harry says, voice scratchy, just slitting his eyes open now, turning his head on his pillow to face Draco. “Oh, lovely, good morning to you, too,” Draco says.

a slice of life like the plush inside of a ripe mango— a love that's mature, constant, beating like a strong heart. the filthy, hilarious, gorgeous portrait of harry and draco's married life— the familiarity of sex, the rush of wanting each other as much as ever.

o come, all ye faithful & all the angels cry amen (E, ~22k total)

In which Draco finds faith in the church, and Harry finds faith in Draco.

an achingly tender rumination on faith as love, and love as worship. one of the most heartbreaking and realistic depictions of the reckoning it would take for harry potter to accept he has found refuge and rest in draco malfoy's arms. i loved the non-chronological, dual timeline storytelling— that particular form works so well when there's a taut, twinging thread holding both narratives together, and harry and draco's gravitational attraction to each other, fraught in parts and at peace in others was the perfect anchor.

time and too much don't belong together (E, 23k)

A Malfoy family heirloom gets triggered in a raid, binding Draco Malfoy to Ron Weasley; neither of them is too chuffed about this.

a masterclass in revelations. the reader can tell, from the outset, there's more here than meets the eye. the reader can also guess, from the beginning, what the dynamic in the shadows is. tense and breathtaking writing, you know what's coming, but every time you're fed a morsel you cling to it with both hands. one of the most inventive takes i've seen on the lust potion/spell trope in this fandom, and done in a way that makes you want to see it over and over and over again.

polar night/midnight sun (E, 54k)

Harry travels to arctic Norway on the trail of dragon egg poachers, only to find he's been assigned to work alongside the only NorMagPol Auror north of sixty: one Draco Malfoy. It's been ten years since they crossed paths, and Malfoy isn't exactly what Harry expected or remembered. For one thing, he wears a lot more hand-knits? When a sudden winter storm strands the pair, unable to use magic to rescue themselves, they take shelter in a one-room Norwegian hytte.

exquisitely atmospheric. uses extenuating circumstances in some of the most delicious ways. builds character and interpersonal dynamics through those small little elements of storytelling (draco in knitwear! brynjar the dog! the mundane pillowtalk! the quirks of their miscommunication!) that go the longest way in having characters leap off the screen into your personal space. also the sex in this is absolutely mind-blowing, i was hooked on every glorious word.

truth to materials (co-written by lately) (E, 58k)

In which Harry learns to appreciate art and other pleasures of the flesh.

decadent. in premise, in language, in characterisation, just absolutely decadent. this version of harry, bewildered and captivated by draco's out-there artistry is one of the funniest and most endearing i've encountered in fic, ever. his head, so full of determination and good intentions and terribly flawed and completely believable thinking, was such a brilliant place to set this fic. and draco— lord. you know that moment of transition, that click, when a piece of art goes from something untouchable and distant to a soulful thing you keep close because you recognise it as a cultural, emotional response? this fic felt like a literary project trying to capture that click, except it's a shift in perspective about a person. draco— the cool, untouchable, subversive artist who becomes irrevocably, warmly, achingly human.

probationary action (E, 63k)

As part of the terms of the probationary contract, DRACO LUCIUS MALFOY shall submit for inspection his WAND on the last day of every month, such inspection to be carried out by a duly registered and fully qualified AUROR in the employ of the MINISTRY OF MAGIC, and such inspection to include a PRIORI INCANTATEM spell to ensure that no PROHIBITED MAGICS as heretofore described have been practised by the aforementioned probationer.

*incoherent screaming*. a fic that starts with a premise so lighthearted and filthy that you think it's going to be a long, kinky fic about two rather hilariously perverted men getting it on, except it also gets into some of the most resonant discussions of post-war revenge tactics and human rights neglect i've ever read. the dynamic between harry and draco is simultaneously so light and so weighted, this is a fic that holds you down and keeps you there till you're done.

in conclusion: an entrancing author, a gift of a writer. i can't wait to see what else they have in store for this fandom.

[yet-another-haven-of-dollya]

Please, how do I make money fast in dol?? I've always played with cheats on cuz I'm a pussy. I've gotten better from my past no cheats on playthroughs, but still, I still would like to know from the pro, my favorite dol account. Please, tell us your ways🛐

Huh... And here I thought money is the last thing you need to worry about when you've been playing long enough on one save. Alright, I doubt anything I'm gonna say is new, but since you asked so nicely, I'll go into details with my 4 PCs and highlight their most rewarded methods.

In general, early game is always tricky since your stats are low. High Math grade and higher certain stats make things easier.

1. Lya

- She used to be a massage staff at the Spa. High enough beauty (4/6 if I remember right) or hand skill is required to work there, and high dance skill make it fairly safe. Higher promiscuity and skuldugery open chances for lewder things and more money.

- Antique hunting. At the lake. High swimming skill recommended. And down the sewer too. I only intended to grind her skuldugery, but then she started to get attached to Winter so she go hunt antique for him ever since. Then the old church yard too. Still the Ivory necklace is a no.

- Dancing jobs. Charlie's Danube street job and at the brothel. Not the strip club but the brothel. Higher skuldugery can only be grinded while encountering so yeah, she work at the brothel for a pretty long time and install the vending machine there too.

- Be a model at Niki's studio.

- Working at Sirris' adult toy shop and selling flowers at the market sometime.

- Alex farm. Invested in the Farm, make things automatic and safe, then brought things to the Harvest street for sale. It's pretty okay and leisurely too.

- The doting Hawk spouse. Yes. Sometimes she goes to the tower to relax, getting away from the dirty town. When you're with the Hawk you just have to sleep, bath, sing all day, maybe walk around the moor a bit, be pretty and wait for the goodest bord to bring things back to you and sell them to Landry later.

2. Lyah

- Being Avery escort. Yeah help very much in the early game. He still keep her company sometime now.

- Steal things from people. He make the most out of his Devil tf to get into encounter, steal, then tell people to stop. Work like a champ. His skuldugery went up fastest out of all 4 PCs.

- Bartender at Strip Club. He works there for fun and to look out for Darryl, but sometimes encounter happen. So it still counts. Vending machine still installed at the Brothel.

- Chef. The ultimate way to make money. Even without Cow tf he still make a LOT out of it, being devoid of purity and lactating mean he has lots of bodily fluids to spare. Just a few hours of "work" and remember to save some for his wife, and the money is insane.

3. Kariya

- Doing odd jobs in the street. Usually to get into encounters.

- Working at the Agency.

- Seducing someone randomly at the Pub, the Farm, at nights,... You name it.

- Get up early and pick the locks of every house or building before they open for the day.

- Playing cards with Wren. Every-single-day. They often just continue untill the lewd part happen. That's their fav part anw. And running around butt-naked with Wren too.

- Dancing and Private shows at the Brothel. Mostly for fun but their money primarily comes from these activities. Briar's most fav worker for sure.

4. "Nyan"

- Working at the Dog Pound and Sam's Cafe (waiter only)

- Doing odd jobs in the street for Housekeeping skill, sometime pick locks and steal from Danube street.

- Temple monthly allowance. Even at max Grace it's not much, but still better than nothing.

- Charlie's dancing job. Charlie offered the safe job, but Nyan often asked for the more dangerous one. Jordan asked him to investigate anyway.

- Antique hunting in the lake, etc... Nyan is still in the build, so he mostly stick with his older siblings safer choices.

Okay, there, I think that's basically things I can recall for now. Also since all my PCs are Robin protectors, they mainly stick to safer paths and don't go away from the Orphanage for too long unless they can't help it. So huge chance there are many more ways to make bigger bucks that I'm not aware of yet. Still, hope this helps!

[ash-and-starlight]

Books of 2023

the list nobody asked for <3

My reading habits had gone a bit stagnant in the past couple of years so this year i made the effort to engage in reading again and wow books really are good!! who would have thought! Sharing this year's book log with the small reviews i did while reading yeah i am That kind of list lover if u feel like being nosy, (and maybe even help mi crowdsource reading recs based on my likes 👀🤲?)

The left Hand of Darkness - Ursula K. Le Guin Ursula i Need to know your thoughts on omegaver- [gunshot] THAT ASIDE yeah. mrs Le Guin you've done it again. I can see why everyone got their brain chemistry altered by this book.

The Membranes - Chi Ta-Wei another brain chemistry altering book. would love to discuss it with a gender studies major lmao

Satanic Verses - Salman Rushdie its a v atmospheric and poignant story, I know I would have loved it more if I was familiar with the rich religious/cultural background it draws from

The Masquerade Series - Seth Dickinson Crazy insane in the membrane about this series. one of the most compelling worldbuildings I've ever seen, and most importantly it features one of the most crazy wet pathetic scrunkly meow meow protagonists i've ever had the pleasure of reading about.

Middlesex - Jeffrey Eugenides i liked the writing style of this book a lot! idk how well it holds up re: intersexuality topic, but its a very engaging read.

Dead Blondes and Bad Mothers: Monstrosity, Patriarchy, and the Fear of Female Power - Jude Ellison, Sady Doyle The title says it all honestly, its a beautiful, thought provoking and engaging essay, spanning eras, pop culture phenomenons, and real life events on the topic of women and horror.

The cat who saved books - Sōsuke Natsukawa this was so cute and heartfelt, it will really make you go Ah Yes, this is Why we Love Books <333

The Locked Tomb Series - Tamsyn Muir now when people say there is a girl who is the cursed sacrifice of 2000 infants who falls in love with the sleeping embodiment of the soul of the Earth (barbie) and also another girl who is the only survivor of the aforementioned sacrifice and is. a Jesus metaphor? and also the two girls become one at some point. and every book is a different genre. and god is bisexual. and memes survived the nuclear apocalypse. I can just nod and say so true.

The Area X Trilogy - Jeff VanderMeer Rotating this series in the microwave of my mind at the speed of light it's soSO GOOD!! the movie doesn't even come close honestly u NEED to read the books. and then go touch grass and be aware of every strand in a completely new way.

The Dawn of Yangchen - F. C. Yee nice read! I was more invested in the worldbuilding crumbs than in the actual story lmao, I will forever think about the HEATED airball rivalry between the air temples and about the swt greetings / bethrotal armbands.

Inuit Stories of Being and Rebirth: Gender, Shamanism, and the Third Sex - Bernard Saladin d'Anglure starting w a disclaimer bc I feel like the topic of native colonization was ignored when it should have been way more prominent when talking about the context of where and when these testimonies were collected?? That aside it was very interesting and well put together, with first account testimonies of Inuit elders about their myths, lifestyles and beliefs.

Pachinko - Min Jin Lee i read the book after having seen the tv series (which i also rlly recommend). Very moving story about a family and its generations, from Korea under Japanese colonization to modern day America.

Her body and other parties - Carmen Maria Marchado sometimes I go about my day then I remember this book exists and stare at the wall for 30 minutes.

Dictionnaire de l'impossible - Didier Van Cauwelaert big miss. this collection of articles about "strange impossible phenomenons" sounded so quirky and interesting but i sure would have loved if the author hadnt so clearly picked a side. and also way too much church for my tastes.

He who Drowned the World - Shelley Parker Chan Im not even gonna speak about this one if you've followed me since july you know what pits of insanity and despair i'm in

Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow - Gabrielle Zevin Sometimes!! the book with pretty covers put in the "famous on socials" bookstore section!! are good!! It's about being othered it's about connection it's about diaspora it's about love and friendship and most of all it's about viddy games.

Station Eleven - Emily St. John Mandel reading this post-covid and learning it was written in 2017 was A TRIP. Psychic damage at every page. still feeling very normla.

The Mask of Apollo - Mary Renault Ugh i desperately wanted to like this book because the setup is so interesting and full of potential, but the end result was just. flat. flat story flat characters the plot focusing on the wrong things at the wrong times i was so DONE when i reached the end otz.

Babel - R. F. Kuang LOVED the worldbuilding in this, the "lost in translation" system of magic is one of the most interesting things ive ever read. I think theres something about the writing in general that didn't win me over completely?? but all in all a very good

Red Ocean - Han Song This sure is a Book. That i've Read. its so profundly strange and unlike anything ive come across that i dont even know what to feel about it. i think 90% of my confusion comes from Not Getting Cultural References so if someone has a "red ocean explained" essay plz send it my way bc i couldnt find one.

[rottenraccoons]

So sorry if you've gotten this question before! I looked through the asks tag but couldn't seem to find it. Regardless, I don't mean to take up your time!

I noticed that in the official trailer on itch.io, (and in the intro when I open the game) each character is listed with what initially looks like a scientific name and a diagram with their chapter one CGs. Keir and Francisco's names are either a one to one exact copy of the names they use in game or very close, in Francesco's case.

With Oleander and Cirrus, both characters that have more reason to use fake names (because it's said in game the Oleander frequently changes his name for his ~*mystique*~ and Vesper speculates that Cirrus' name is likely not his true name, but still says a lot about him,) they have different names. Cirrus is called "Presbyter" which from a quick google search means "elder or minister (most often of a church)" and Oleander is listed as "Nerii" which, from looking up the wikipedia page for the "Daphnis Nerii," also called the //Oleander// hawk-moth. So, I was wondering (if it isn't spoilers to answer) if their true names have been right under our noses this whole time? With Oleander possibly being named Nerii and Cirrus possibly being named Presbyter?

Also, their titles of a sort are listed after their names in what might be latin(?), with Cirrus' "Ecclesiae Lunaris" meaning (from google translate, mind you, I haven't done a deep dive into latin) "a formal congregation of believers of the moon;" Keir's "Cavillator Fur" meaning "one who jeers or mocks a theif(?);" Oleander's "Perriculosum Scurra" meaning "Dangerous clown" (or more likely in this case, "Dangerous Showman;" and Francisco's (Franciscum's) "Innocentes Nobiles" meaning, unsurprisingly, "Innocent Noble."

I just wanted to point this out and ask about it because I really appreciate all the work that has gone into this VN- it's one of the best that I've ever read, and that alongside the beautiful art (the sprites and of the stunning backgrounds, the music that perfectly sets the tone...) and it really is such a breathtaking visual novel. This has- no joke, taken over my brain since I found it three, four days ago, and I couldn't be more happy about it. The work you do is phenomenal.

On a more personal note, too, Cirrus has very much captured my attention, and although I usually don't like to sub all that much, the sheer //intimacy// of scenes with him has me sold on his route. I also love how he holds Vesper to a higher standard- looking through the player guide, all of the other three LIs all have good endings that don't necessarily require getting the maximum affection, bur Cirrus' best ending does require maximum affection (there are, of course, ways to slip up and make up for it later, as stated in the guide, but still.) (That's not to say I don't like the other LI's, they absolutely have my attention, but I do have a favourite, ahaha)

The safeword menu is very much appreciated, and I do so love always having that option of backing out without having to close the game altogether.

OH ALSO I happen to have noticed more things while rewatching the trailer Each character has a number corresponding to them. Cirrus has the number 18, Keir has the number 20, Oleander has the number 11, and Francesco has the number 10. Later on in the trailer, after the character introductions, each of these numbers flashes again, connected to a title and a subtitle. For 18, the latin connected to Cirrus, it says "obedience", with the subtitle meaning, from a quick google translate, "sweet to heaven." For 20, the latin connected to Keir, it says "fate," with the subtitle meaning, "yours or a stranger" For 11, the latin connected to Oleander, it says "patiently" with the subtitle meaning "as you have" and for 10, connected to Francesco, it says "time" with the subtitle meaning "runs" I can guess that this is connected to their routes somehow, because Cirrus values obedience from Vesper, and he //is// a priest. I'm actually not sure about Keir or Oleander's stuff, but Francesco is acting with a certain amount of urgency, so I assume it has to do with him trying to get the full "experience" as it were before he has to take on the family business. Either way, I love love love the details in the trailer, it's absolutely wonderful to pause to try to catch the little things (Also, as an addendum to my last ask, I am not realizing that Keir's title likely means "sarcastic thief," and I might've taken the translation too literally) Obscura has given me a Catagory Five Autism Moment, and that is absolutely a complement! Great work!

So I showed all this to Mugi, who did those images for the trailer, and she was thrilled to see this analysis!!

(I have censored one thing to preserve the mystery~)

A bunch of the stuff in the trailer will probably make more sense the more you know about the guys and their stories, but yesssssss please keep analysing things, we put stuff in there on purpose for people to play with!

[punk4ndisorderly]

dreamboat

jack hughes x fictional character

intro | part2

part 1 - arrivals

"I thought you buffoons knew better than to wake me up before ten by now." Ava groaned, her head still burried in the soft pillow Ellen had bought especially for her, the linens engraved with an A in light blue.

Luke and Jack jumped up and down around her, careful not to step on her body while making the mattress squeak loudly, goofy smiles adorning their faces.

"There is no way you're sleeping in this year, Coop." the younger Hughes brother declared, dropping to his knees on the bed. "Oh mom's been holding out on us, these sheets smell so much better than ours!"

"Maybe yours just smell different because you sweat more than a whore in a church, Moosey." she smirks, turning so she was now on her back, looking up at the two siblings who had invaded her room.

"Hey! It's not my fault I run hot!" Luke whined, climbing down the bed. "Anyway, breakfast's ready. Quinn made pancakes. First come, first served, Coop." he announced, leaving her alone with his brother, still bouncing around like an overstimulated child.

"And what are you doing here?" Ava inquired, sitting up against the headboard as she pushed the sheets back, adjusting her pajama top so her full breasts wouldn't accidentally slip out in front of one of her oldest friends.

"Can't a guy just spend time with his favorite girl in the world?" he asked, his eyes briefly accompanying her hands.

"Megan Fox is here?"

Jack rolled his eyes dramatically, picking up the spare pillow and throwing it at her head.

"You never take anything seriously, do you?"

"When it comes to you? Of course I don't, Hughes." Ava chuckled, gracing him with one of her beautiful smiles. "Not when you're telling me I'm your favorite girl."

"Here we go again." the Devils' center groaned, landing beside his childhood friend with a thud, hiding his head under a pillow. "Have I ever lied to you, Coop?"

He hadn't. Not even when she wanted him to.

"Stop using your charm on me!"she skillfully changed the subject. "I've seen you eat boogers, remember? I'm immune."

He raised his head, his hair disheveled, sticking up in every other direction. Booger eater or not, he sure was beautiful.

"You didn't seem to mind when we made out in seventh grade!" Jack quipped triumphantly, moving so his head was on her lap, her smooth, large thighs providing him with the comfort he missed the most during the year, when they were on opposite sides of the country.

"We did not make out! It was a barely a peck! And you said we'd never talk about it again!" she whisper-yelled, covering his mouth with her hands.

"Hmm... I can be persuaded to take it to the grave." the Devils' player conceded, pointing towards his head.

Ava's hands immediately found his unruly head of hair, running her fingers through it, just like he loved her to.

"You're insufferable."

"Lucky for you, I don't know what that means." Jack joked, closing his eyes.

Laughter rumbled in her belly, inciting the same response from him.

"This was fun, but I seriously need to pee."

As if he had been stung by an insect, Jack jumped from his place in her warm lap, regretting it as soon as he did, missing her nimble fingers and her skin instantly.

His friend got up, stretching and giving him a glimpse of her soft stomach and wide hips. Her large thighs were barely covered by the flimsy shorts she was wearing, the shape of her absolutely perfect in his eyes. She moved to the en-suite bathroom, closing the door behind her.

"Are you going to stand there and listen to me pee, you creep?" Ava called out.

"Yeah, gonna record it and use it as white noise or something like that."

Her laughter echoed loudly from the other side of the door, bringing a smile to his lips.

"Go and save me some pancakes, Hughes!"

"On it, Cooper."

-

She spun around in front of the mirror. Her new bikini brought her a new wave of confidence, her breasts enhanced but carefully contained within the limits of the fabric covering them, the panties comfortable enough to allow her to move freely without risking showing more than she always worried she would. Not that the boys would ever even look. Or care.

There was a certain freedom in the friendzone. There was a comfort, a guarantee that the way they looked wasn't a part of the equation. No worrying about stomach rolls, or how her thighs looked bigger when she sat down, flattened against the surface, or the way her arms were wider than theirs. No angles to obsess over or long wraps to cover up. She could actually be at ease and enjoy herself in the presence of the three boys who had practically stumbled into her life many moons ago.

Pulling up her jean shorts and picking up the old cowboy hat Jack had won her during Fourth of July weekend, Ava left her tower, as Jim liked to call it, reuniting with her boys downstairs.

"Sit." Quinn demanded, placing a plate in front of her, besides Jack. "I want to be done with this before they get here."

"Who? Trevor and Cole won't wake up until noon, your mom won't let them have breakfast then, she won't make you feed Z." she chuckled, popping a raspberry into her mouth.

"Oh, some boys from the team are staying for a couple of days." Luke shrugged, sipping on his orange juice.

"Oh. Okay."

Too much testosterone.

"Don't worry, Coop. They're cool. Promise." the younger Hughes assured her.

On cue, the doorbell rung. Luke jumped from his seat, excited to have his friends over. Ava and Jack exchanged a look, bracing themselves for chaos.

Soon, the kitchen was crowded. They weren't many, but they sure were big. She was introduced to each and every one of them, with Luke making sure there were no flirty comments exchanged, as usual. Ava couldn't remember half of their names, but they seemed nice enough, and none of them had looked down on her or grimaced visibly when she stood up to greet them.

One of the boys, Mark, wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her to his side.

"I heard great things about you, Cooper." he winked, letting her go after locking eyes with someone.

"I have heard nothing about you, Mark." Ava smiled, thankful for the reprieve. He was squeezing her a little bit too hard.

"We'll work on that." he laughed. "Hey Hughesy, where's Eddy?"

"He was supposed to drop by his house first, I guess. Should be here any minute." the tallest sibling explained. "Let me show you around."

The boys followed Luke into the house, the whispering growing more intense with the distance.

Jack was observing her attentively, like he so often did, his bottom lip between his thumb and his index finger.

"Do I have something on my face?" she asked, amused.

Quinn shoved him softly, chuckling to himself and heading back to the sink.

"Help me out here, dude."

"Why don't you ask Coop to do it?" his brother whined, turning just in time to catch the cloth Ava had thrown his way at the mention of her name.

"Last time I made Coop do the dishes mom didn't let me take the boat out for two days."

"Oof, fair point." Jack agreed. "How does it feel to be the favorite child?"

Ava stuck her tongue out at him. There was no arguing, she was Jim and Ellen's favorite child and she wasn't even theirs. Of course that's an easy achievement when the three they have at home are each a menace in their own right.

The doorbell echoed loudly again, and since neither Jack nor Quinn made any move to get it, the fourth Hughes assumed it was her turn.

She opened the door to find a very attractive young man with a shoulder bag. They stared at each other for what seemed like hours, before she was shoved aside by Luke.

"Eddy! You made it!"

[hussyknee]

Somewhat put off by the spoilers I've read about Mary and George. There's no doubt nearly all relationships in the British court were some level of sordid, but King James, to all intents and purposes, had genuine feelings for his three male favourites, most especially George Villiers. He was no Henry VIII. I don't know why they wanted to reduce the most famous and open homosexual relationship in European royal history to a comedy between a "cock-struck" old lech and a conniving courtier that led him by the nose and then betrayed and murdered him.

All evidence points to George at least being loyal to James (if you discount his love letters as simply sucking up to his benefactor) and even had a fond relationship with his Queen and his son Charles. He was in fact in France when James died, and reportedly cried when he heard the news.

It's even a little heartbreaking because this is right after Nicholas Galitzine played the closeted gay Prince Henry in Red, White and Royal Blue, who in the book is proud of the open and unashamed love between his ancestor and his lover, and the way even James's son Charles I honoured Villiers for accompanying him to the Spanish Court to ask for the hand of the Infanta.

“Actually . . . you remember how I told you about the gay king, James I?”

“The one with the dumb jock boyfriend?”

“Yes, that one. Well, his most beloved favorite was a man named George Villiers. ‘The handsomest-bodied man in all of England,’ they called him. James was completely besotted. Everyone knew. This French poet, de Viau, wrote a poem about it.” He clears his throat and starts to recite: ‘One man fucks Monsieur le Grand, another fucks the Comte de Tonnerre , and it is well known that the King of England, fucks the Duke of Buckingham.’” Alex must be staring, because he adds, “Well, it rhymes in French. Anyway. Did you know the reason the King James translation of the Bible exists is because the Church of England was so displeased with James for flaunting his relationship with Villiers that he had the translation commissioned to appease them?”

“You’re kidding.”

“He stood in front of the Privy Council and said, ‘Christ had John, and I have George.’’

“Jesus.”

“Precisely.” Henry’s still looking up at the statue, but Alex can’t stop looking at him and the sly smile on his face, lost in his own thoughts. “And James’s son, Charles I, is the reason we have dear Samson. It’s the only Giambologna that ever left Florence. He was a gift to Charles from the King of Spain, and Charles gave it, this massive, absolutely priceless masterpiece of a sculpture, to Villiers. And a few centuries later, here he is. One of the most beautiful pieces we own, and we didn’t even steal it. We only needed Villiers and his trolloping ways with the queer monarchs. To me, if there were a registry of national gay landmarks in Britain, Samson would be on it.”

Henry’s beaming like a proud parent, like Samson is his, and Alex is hit with a wave of pride in kind.

He takes his phone out and lines up a shot, Henry standing there all soft and rumpled and smiling next to one of the most exquisite works of art in the world.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m taking a picture of a national gay landmark,” Alex tells him. “And also a statue.”

Like all white liberals, Casey McQuiston tends to romanticise the crime against humanity that is royalty and also that house built by bunch of slave owners that has since housed a progression of genocidal war criminals. There's very little to like about any British monarch. But the relationship between James and Villiers is a significant part of gay history and there's no need to smear it even more than it's already been smeared the last four hundred years, contrary to the actual known facts.

Idk man. I'm sensitive to this stuff Ig. Maybe I'd be a little more positive about it if I watched it, but the trailer gave me "tee hee they're gay" vibes so Idk if I want to.

Edit: so it seems the trailer is misleading and the story is more complex than a "tee hee gay" comedy. I might watch it after all, even if the starkly visible age difference makes me a bit queasy. How tf is Galitzine nearly thirty and a babyface with those razor cheekbones?? Perfect to show how uncomfortable it looks for a middle aged man to get with a kid of twenty.

[romeulusroy]

Dependence Pt. 4 (Roy!Sibling x Roy Family)

((SUCCESSION SPOILERS))

Character/s: Connor, Kendall, Shiv, Roman, Logan

Word Count: 2,538

Warning: addiction, drugs, alcohol, death, grief

Inspired By: I Bet On Losing Dogs by Mitski

Tag: @locke-writes

A/N: This was one of the best and one of the most heartbreaking episodes I've ever seen. That being said, omfg. All I could think of was Baby Roy. My heart broke for Roman. It was beautiful and an honest portrayal of grief, but I was not ready at all. I wasn't planning on writing anymore parts, but I just couldn't help myself. This episode was too good to leave it be. I'm really happy with how it turned out! this has been my favorite series to write, Baby Roy is so fun to write and it makes me so happy to know you guys like it too!!! Thank you!! Feedback is always appreciated 💜💜💜

Dependence Pt. 1 / Dependence Pt. 2 / Dependence Pt. 3 / Dependence Pt. 5

Being The Youngest Roy Would Include Pt One.

Being The Youngest Roy Would Include Pt. Two

You can still taste the whiskey in the back of your throat. It’s a familiar burning. It’s something you shouldn’t welcome with open arms, but when have you ever turned away from a love that could kill you? When have you been shown any other kind of affection? Their hugs always came with a stab in the back, right between your vertebrae. They were always intentional with their strokes, never wanting to waste a moment, a movement. What you wouldn’t give for a drink right now. Salted rim. Ice. Something bright, something colorful, something to make this all go away. You were so close last time, tip toeing on the edge. Where he fell, you flew, dragged back by the skin of your teeth. You didn’t want to be saved, you wanted to be free. The memories are hazy, but your throat was scratchy, voice patchy, as if you’d been screaming. As if you’d been begging. No one explained, though you had a feeling they all heard. They looked at you differently now. You knew what they said behind your back, your fathers old posse, what they thought of you. Suicidal. Maybe. What did they care about? Now you started what could have been. The casket, the rows and rows of nameless faces, most never shedding a tear over your old man, over you. The violins, the church, the halo effect the light gives as if anyone in this room were remotely holy. You hadn’t had anything since the incident, nothing to drink, nothing to use, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t still feel it, want it. After the charcoal, the sick, after that, it seemed like you could never get rid of that boozy taste in your mouth. Faint, but there. Mocking you, your sobriety. What your father would have said to you after the incident plays on loop in your mind. That if you wanted to cry he would give you something to cry about, if you wanted to die he would give you something to die about.

Too late, you think, you beat me to it. 

Your mother sat beside Caroline and Kerry, making the ever rare appearance in the world to grieve her ex-spouse. She hugged you as she came in, doing the same with your brothers and sister, reminding you this wasn’t the kind of event that came with an open bar. You smiled, unsure of what else to do, unsure of what to say, struck as if you’d been slapped across the face. She wasn’t there. She didn’t see you, in that bed, in that condition. You hadn’t even attempted to call her in that haze, you’d gone to your dead father instead. You knew. You knew even as you lay dying that she would not offer the comforts you so desperately wanted. She would not let you go in peace. Someone must’ve filled her in, though by the look in her eye you’d never know it. She was as jaded and hostile as ever. She seemed satisfied with herself, her quip, moving on to your sister and her big news. Your eyes stung. Someone put their hand on your shoulder, giving it a squeeze. Connor or Kendall. You never found out who. Suddenly you were drained. Of life, of everything, wanting to lay down on the pew and sleep forever. You let your siblings talk. You let them wander off to their prospective parties, sticking by Connor like a little kid, becoming his shadow. Since that night he hasn’t let you out of his sight. He takes care of you. He makes sure you’re doing okay. The others call, checking in more than they ever have, all of them feeling guilty. You didn’t mean to. You didn’t mean to make such a mess. You were just so angry, so alone. You were tired of fighting this thing inside of you that could not be controlled, that threatened to burn you alive. 

Time passes strangely. There are gaps in between. You don’t remember sitting down or watching them carry him in, only that he rests in the aisle and you cannot stop yourself from holding your breath. You can’t take your eyes off the casket. He’s really in there, you think, he’s really gone. Part of you still thinks this is all one massive trick. That he’s going to pop up and laugh, making a fool out of all of you. You wait, but he does not stir. Despite their best efforts, Ewan takes his place at the podium. He talks of his brother and sister, Rose. Of Logan's life before you, before the money. You’d never heard any of this before. Your fathers life was a series of scattered bits of information and assumptions to fill in the gaps. You only had a handful of real facts about him, ones that weren’t superficial like his age and birthday. The realization seeps into your skin: you never even knew him. You watch the same thought in your siblings' expressions. The quiver of Roman’s bottom lip. The glazed over look in Kendall's eyes. Even Connor, your oldest brother, the one who knew him the longest, stared forward as if he were desperate to breathe and Ewans words were the only oxygen in the room. All of you hopeless without him, without this story, as if you were hearing about him for the first time. The man you wanted to be loved by so frantically was nothing but a stranger. He kept all of you at arms length, not wanting to get hurt again. Now here you were, hurting, missing out on a father, a real father, because of his fears. You dug your nails into your palms, wanting to scream. 

You watched him crumble before you. He’d been so confident, so manic, you should have known. You should have known all that pre-grieving was masochistic bullshit. His words catch in his throat, his hands shuffle his cards around, until finally he needs to step down, the tears glistening in his eyes. All of you reflectively stand, meeting him at the bottom of the stairs. He is sobbing now, trying to keep it all in. Is he in there? He asks. Can we get him out? Connor steps in front of you, taking his little brother by the arm, as if he doesn’t want you to see this, as if he can protect you from their pains, their sorrows. Roman holds his hands in front of his face, shielding himself from the fury of a ghost. Through your siblings, you grab his cards from his shaking hand. I can do it, you say, catching their eyes. Even Roman, his puppy dog eyes wide and scared and sad, are surprised. I got this. You sound more confident than you feel. None object, though you watch Ken and Shiv share an argument with just their eyes. You smile at Roman, assuring him it’s okay. You have to be there for them, too. You have to be there for them like they’ve been for you. Your tiny crowd dissipates, all of them sitting around him. You take your place at the podium. There is such a huge turnout you can’t see everyone's faces, though you have a feeling you know what they’re thinking. Frank leans over, whispers something to Gerri. You clear your throat, looking over what your brother has written. Fuck. Clutching the cards, you think quickly. The silence hangs in the air thick. I didn’t know my father, you start. Not well, at least. He wasn’t, uh, he wasn’t an easy man to get to know. Some chuckle. He spent most of his time at work, with all of you. Even as a little kid, I thought that’s where Dad lived, in the office. I had no idea uh, I had no idea they lived at home with their family. More laughter. You cannot look at anyone else but your siblings. They nod at you, encouraging you to go on. Someone got Roman water. You offer a sympathetic smile at him, knowing this will haunt him. Tears are welling up in your eyes as you speak, laughter catching in your throat. I, uh, I still can’t believe it, you know? You swallow a sob. I keep thinking that he’s going to come out of nowhere, that this was just some joke he’s playing on us. That we’ll hear his laugh out of nowhere and he’ll be back. It’s not though, it can’t be. It's too real now. Your hands begin to shake, the concerned faces of your brothers and sister blurred by tears. You catch your mother wiping her dry face with a tissue. Kendall inches forward, ready to come to your rescue. I didn’t know him well, but I miss him every single day. I miss the way he used to yell and that disappointed look he gave when we messed up. I miss his condescending tone and the way he danced around an apology. I miss him. We all do. He wasn’t uh, he wasn’t an easy man to love, but who is? 

Connor takes your hand in his, giving it three squeezes. Kendall went up, then Shiv. you can’t hear their words, you can only watch them try to keep themselves together. They share stories of your father, from a childhood before you. You liked hearing about it, as sad as it may be. You were grateful they had each other, that they didn’t grow up so alone. Your head rests on Rome’s shoulder, his sniffling quiet, cautious, as if your father could hear him. On the other side of the church, your mother sobs loudly. The rest of Logan's wives and girlfriends come to her rescue, comforting her, despite not a single tear being shed. You roll your eyes, wishing the day over as fast as possible. You keep close behind Connor and Willa, who are thanking the sea of nameless faces for coming. People you’ve never seen before, people you’ve seen in passing, in Christmas cards, others you have the terrible feeling that they came only to check that the old man was, in fact, truly dead. You take the car with them all the way to the graveyard where his mausoleum stands tall and daunting. Crisp, harsh lines draw you into where he hoped you would all be buried alongside him. If they hadn’t brought you back, if they hadn’t found you when they did, would you be in there now? Would you have taken the first available slot, destined to share eternity with a man who fucking hated you? A shudder goes through your body. Shiv mistakes it for grief, holding your arm. It is cold and sterile, the very place you would have expected him to be. The ground, the bugs, that’s too dirty. Too much. He never would have been cremated either. He didn’t want to rot, you think, as if this place could prevent that. Roman stands near the doorway, not wanting to go in. You wait beside him, not saying a word. Too much empathy, too much compassion, and you’ll drive him away. No, he just needs his time. You watch Connor place his hand on the places in the wall, as if he has already claimed it on his own. You drop your gaze, trying to stop the thoughts from coming. What if, one day, you’re the only one left? What then? How will you go on without them, all of them? Tears fall silently down your cheeks. You couldn’t do it without them. They were your mother and fathers, they raised you, they saved you. Without them, without them you would be nothing. You never would have made it this far, seen this many years. Despite their faults, despite everything, you owed your life to them. You always would. 

Your brother disappears before you can stop him, shutting himself into isolation, into the car. None of you move, none of you get up to get him, your eyes all transfixed on what’s being done before you. Settled into his final resting place. All that anger, all that rage, where does it go? Does it come back to you? Does it belong to you now? You haven’t been angry since that night, not like how it was, your rage replaced with gratitude. You weren’t happy to be back, to be here, but it was better than the alternative. If they’d had to bury you too, you’re not sure what they would have done. Before you thought your absence meant nothing. That they’d known how to function in a world without you before, they could do it again. The way they looked at you when you woke up, when you cried, you realized just how much you’d put them through, how they seemed to age decades under those fluorescent lights. You apologized profusely, but they wouldn’t hear it. They blamed themselves, all of them. You didn’t want to be here. You didn’t want to be tied back to this life, this meaningless existence, but you couldn’t let yourself hurt them anymore.

The reception is crowded, everyone sharing their condolences. Kendall gets you a water before disappearing to talk to Mencken, Roman following obediently. He makes sure you’re okay on your own, that it’ll only be a minute. You assure him you’ll be alright, really. How he would have hated this, you smile. All these people pretending to have known him, sympathizing with his children. As far as he was concerned you deserved nothing. You deserved less than nothing. You wade through the room. They’re off, doing their own things, trying each and every one of them to one day take over. You never wanted that, you never thought it was your rightful place. You know what you want and it doesn’t involve this. It doesn’t involve schmoozing, it doesn’t involve high stakes and high stress. What wouldn't save your family from this, but it’s too late. It always was. They were pitted against one another before you were even born. You sip your water, forever wishing it were something stronger. The impulse is still there. It always has been, always will be. It didn’t leave just because he did. It didn’t escape you just because he did. It sits in the middle of your chest and it is bitter for being ignored. You did it once, a whole year, you can do it again. You will do it again. If not for yourself, if never for yourself, then for them. For Connor, for Kendall, for Siobhan, for Roman. For the people who have always loved you, always will. Logan is dead. He will be. He didn’t care then and he won’t care now, but they will. It’s up to you to do better, be better, stay sober. It's not easy, it never has been, it never will be. But don’t they deserve that? Don’t each of them deserve that from you? You watch them, each of them, laugh and roll their eyes and try to find their way in this world without him. If they can do it, if they can find a reason to show up, to be there, so can you. Right?

[jamisonwritestf2trash]

hi hello hi

i love ur headcanons, they're the most canon headcanons i've ever read 🫣..

was just wondering if you could write some about what you think the mercs favourite bands/musical artists would be 👁️

What Are The TF2 Mercs Favorite Bands/Music Artists?

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Awe tysm! Of course, I can, I love writing about music 😭 I had to delve into the depths of my Spotify to actually see what bands I know, that I should pick for these guys. This totally isn't me projecting btw.

I ended up just giving them a band they like and a singular musical artist.

(I've been forgetting to specify or elaborate on this, most of the time, unless mentioned, these silly's are in present day and not like the 60s lmao.)

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SPOILERS FOR THE BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY MOVIE! (Also a little angsty, sorry <3)

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Demo and Hozier oh my god, its insane how much he likes him. I don't know how to elaborate on this further, but like, "Would That I"??? I feel like he loves that song! Also, I feel like all I have to say is "Take Me To Church" and I know some people will understand that immediately. This man just uses music as escapism, of course he likes Hozier.

Will Wood and The Tapeworms is a band that I've already deemed one of Demo favorites because of "The First Step." but this man just genuinely loves all of the songs. "The First Step", "Front Street", "6up 5oh Copout (Pro/Con)" and "Hand Me My Shovel, I'm Going In!" Are his favorites though.

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Engie is a hardcore Dolly Parton fan. I know it's played out, I know it's obvious, I know its tropey, but I can't deny that this man loves Dolly Parton. Like this man is head of the fan club and I won't stop saying it. It would be wrong for me to pretend he doesn't heavily relate to "9 to 5."

Also loves the Chordettes oddly enough? He thinks all the way they sing is beautiful. He adores the cover of "Hello! Ma Baby". But is also a sucker for the popular ones, "Mr. Sandman" and "Lollipop". I will say though, it's utterly disturbing to the other mercs when it's like midnight and they get up for something and just here a really softly played "Mr. Sandman". Only one not disturbed is Medic, but like, it's hard to disturb a man who also has been known to play those old eerie songs at odd hours, they bond over this.

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This man loves Elton John, he loves how he can relate heavily to some of the songs and then just genuinely enjoy other ones with no other meaning. Like he'll listen to "I'm Still Standing", and feel a lot of emotions from it, and then like "Crocodile Rock" will come on and just vibe to it.

Heavy also likes the Beetles. I don't know I just think he likes way the songs are sung, and the meaning he pulls from the lyrics themselves. Reads into music a lot and values being able to do that. Likes songs about love, and the Beetles are great for that. Don't get him started on "I Want To Hold Your Hand", and "Eleanor Rigby".

(Uh did I make this man have kind of old man music taste? Yes. Am I wrong, and will I apologize? No. He is old!) (Affectionate)

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MARINA being Medics favorite is a mix of him being a teen girl in my mind, and an actual genuine ability to relate to some of the songs. I will say this until the day I die. This man has never felt good enough. Not even once. He's always working to try and get better, and once he does get better he's moving the goal post of getting better. Has played "Are You Satisfied" more times than you can count. "Oh No" and "Hermit The Frog" are also one's he finds himself both loving and relating to.

Would you guys be mad if I said this man was obsessed with Queen? (I am not projecting here, I swear!) Similarly to Heavy, he's a sucker for a romantic song or two. Loves "Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy" Also you want to talk about not feeling good enough, loops "Bohemian Rhapsody" Have you guys seen the Bohemian Rhapsody movie? You guys know the scene where Freddie (Rami Malek) is singing "Bohemian Rhapsody" and sings the line "I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all!" and has a slight break because he realizes he just actually said that? Yeah. That's how Medic feels when he first hears the song. But on a lighter note he also likes "Killer Queen" and "I Want To Break Free."

(Went crazy on this one, I really just need to make an entire breakdown on Medic one of these days 😭)

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Scout is a Tom Cardy fan. I don't know how to elaborate without just yelling "Mixed Messages" like come on. Also, have you guys heard "H.S" Man he loves that song! Also oops another mini headcanon inside a headcanon, Sniper introduced him to Tom Cardy when he had "Read Between The Lines" playing one day.

Mindless Self Indulgence is a tad self-explanatory but who am I not to explain something in graphic detail? Gives him such confidence and makes him feel so cool. I already headcanon that he loves "Get It Up" so it's only natural that his favorite band made a song he loves. I stand by what others have said. Trans boy swag, well also a mix of that and white boy swag. White trans boy swag makes a Mindless Self Indulgence fan.

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Sniper- Honestly? I racked my brain for this one, and I'm going to get silly with this. I'm going to say he likes George Ezra, purely because "Budapest" reminds me so much of him. I think he'd love that song. Another case of putting his emotions into his music or more like, liking music that conveys his emotions? Ough the song just gives me Sniper angst vibes.

Uh controversial opinion, what the frick??? Oingo Boingo fan. Again something I can't but he loved "Dead Man's Party" It's just a song he's always really liked. "No Spill Blood" and "Controller" are also ones he likes. I feel like "weird" music is his favorite genre of music.

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I hate to say it but Spy is a fan of Olivia Rodrigo. I'm not going to lie, he's the second most teen girl-coded person on the team. Sings "bad idea right?", "Brutal", and "good 4 you". Sings them in the shower, the other mercs are sick of it 😭

Is it too much to say Mother Mother for the fact that I love Spy angst and can see him crying over "Arms Tonite" and relating to "Verbatim" so hard it's insane? Ugh, I live for Spy angst. I want him to be happy too but it's so easy to put angst😭. (Also I can't stress how much "Wrecking Ball"

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Soldier is a sucker for AC/DC. Dad music (I say this with love, I get why people like AC/DC they have good music.)This man is just a criminally insane dad, in my mind anyway. The other mercs have been woken up to "Highway to Hell" once or twice and have let Soldier play "Thunderstruck" as hype music before a battle.

I think he likes Tom Petty, like how are you going to tell me he doesn't love "I Won't Back Down" and "Free Falling" just loves the sound of the music itself (if that makes any sense) more focused on the sounds instead of the actual meaning.

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Pyro is a huge fan of Jack Stauber. They adore the music. Enjoys the pop of "There's Something Happening" and loves the slow and sad sounds in "Cupid" Ugh they just love Jack Stauber so much. The only issue they had was when they first listened to "Bumblebees Are Out" it caused a meltdown, poor Pyro was reminded of trauma they forgot. Engie had to calm them down for an hour after. (They're okay, don't worry!)

PYRO IS A JUGGALO 100% I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL. They kick their legs while listening to "Imma Kill U". Listen to "My Axe" and replace any mention of an axe with their flamethrower, in their head. I'm just imagining an AMV or just seeing Pyro walking to "Boogie Woogie Wu" and scaring the shit out of anyone and everyone.

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I finally finished it 😭 I had like five asks? All at the same-ish time and I was so hyped but then my brain decided to revoke all my motivation. It's okay though I just pushed through it. I love being able to answer asks!

An ask about about Medic and Junji Ito's Gyo coming tomorrow hopefully!

[thorniest-rose]

no but that last ask about Eddie and Chrissy tag teaming Stephanie is just so Ugh. I can see Eddie trying to help his church mouse cheerleader girlfriend come to terms with her own bisexuality by pitching a tandem ride on the school bicycle Stephanie Harrington. And Chrissy catches on way faster than anyone could’ve guessed, riding Steph’s face and playing with her big tits and prompting her boyfriend to “fuck her real hard, Eddie, she needs it, just look at her.” And Stephanie has had her share of threesomes, even rough ones, but Eddie and Chrissy are mean in such an overly saccharine way, calling her a good girl as Eddie rails her into the floor and Chrissy pinches her nipples between baby pink fingernails, that it breaks her a bit in a whole new way. Eddie’s absolutely patting himself on the back and trying to commit everything to memory because as much as this was for Chrissy, it’s the hottest shit he’s ever seen and he’s half convinced he’s hallucinating

oh my god... I've been thinking about this all day, Chrissy and Eddie both domming Stephanie. Eddie fucks her while she goes down on Chrissy, and they both use Eddie, one of them on his cock, the other riding his mouth, as they both kiss. Fuck each other with a double-pronged dildo while Eddie watches and jerks off. Like it's all for Chrissy's bi awakening, and to show her it's okay to be attracted to girls, but it's also the best day of Eddie's life as he's got his beautiful perfect sweet girlfriend and the hottest most popular girl at school both coming on his dick and fucking in front of him. It's so good they ask Stephanie if she wants to do it again some time and she plays it cool like, "yeah, maybe," even though it was the best sex of her life. So she starts hanging out with them more at school, sitting at their lunch table with them, taking turns to sit on Eddie's lap, and afterwards, the three of them can be seen climbing into Eddie's van. And every single hot jock is just tearing his hair out because they can't believe that redneck trailer trash Eddie Munson has the two most beautiful girls at Hawkins High on his dick.

[zeldahime]

Highway to Pail Day 12

[Day 1] [Prev] [Next] @do-it-with-style-events

February 12: I wasn't sure how to start the day, but then it dawned on me.

Aziraphale's temptation of Queen Eleanor had been an enormous success, and he had hoped that Crowley had reaped plenty of benefits from it from Hell during the years Aziraphale was stuck in damp old England, in so many ways greatly reduced from what it had been during the reign of Arthur and much less cultured than the courts of continental Europe. Not that he was ungrateful; Eleanor's determination to bring the English court up to speed had provided him with plenty of opportunities to dole out blessings and inspirations under the umbrella of solidifying the reach of the Church over the last few years. As that may be, he was nevertheless incredibly gratified to be part of the contingent returning to Poitiers, returning to a more agreeable part of civilization where Love, in the form of music and poetry and literature, was held in particular esteem.

This dedication to the celebration of Love was of course the reason his heart raced and face threatened to erupt into the most enchanted of smiles after passing through the palace gates. The dashing figure with red hair and glasses watching the queen's procession with a carefully constructed scowl on his face officially had nothing to do with it.

Said dashing figure also officially had nothing to do with how Aziraphale slipped away the moment he could be spared, as late night began to slip into early morning. He had told the humans he was off to find some rest, and the fact that he was instead found by Crowley in a dark and disused corridor only a single lamp lit was a carefully constructed coincidence.

"Now, what is an angel like you doing in a place like this?" a velvet-dark voice asked from behind him, and he turned to face it as slowly as he could manage, heart jackrabbiting in his chest. It had been so long since he'd seen his friend, and here he was: an oil slick in the dark, body twisted sinuously in his lean against the wall in a way that almost seemed impossible for a human-shaped corporation, glasses pushed up roguishly into loose russet hair and yellow eyes turned molten in the scant lamp light. He looked and sounded like sin incarnate, and Aziraphale had dearly missed him.

"Crowley," he breathed.

"When I asked you to do the England job, you didn't actually have to go to England," Crowley said, clearly trying for sardonic but actually landing somewhere near whiny. "The job was in Paris; you could've been back here by the end of the month."

"I had work in England; I wrote you, or did you not get those letters? I would have preferred to come back to Poitiers straight away, you know. The Court of Love is ever so much more appealing than the Court of Curtmantle."

"Court of Lust, more like," Crowley sneered. "I've been doing work too, you know, inspiring humans to all kinds of extramarital whatsits." Something hot and possessive burned in Aziraphale's chest at that; he immediately pushed it down, pushed it aside. He didn't want to know why he didn't want to think of Crowley inspiring humans to lust. "Sleeping with other people's wives, that thing. Made it all the rage with knights, your Court of Love has. Getting great results for Downstairs."

Aziraphale raised his eyebrows. "That may be so, Crowley, but how many more of them are simply experiencing love in its many facets? Courtly love is a beautiful thing. Devotion and dedication toward a deserving lady allows practice of the devotion likewise to be shown to God, and furthers Her mandate—"

"Oh, save it for the report, Aziraphale," Crowley snapped. "Don't justify it to me." Aziraphale shut up, feeling vaguely ashamed and wondering exactly where he had misstepped, and folded his hands in front of himself. Crowley stared at him for a moment, tongue—unforked at the moment, Aziraphale noticed, and also noticed he was disappointed, ridiculously, what Crowley chose to do with his tongue was his own business—running over his teeth.

Crowley appeared to make a decision, then snapped his fingers, a lute miraculously appearing in his hands. He slowly stepped closer to Aziraphale, seeming to allow him time to retreat if he wanted to, though from what Aziraphale couldn't fathom. Aziraphale stepped back in concert with Crowley until he was flush to the corridor wall and allowed the approach, allowing himself to be cornered in a show of trust he hoped Crowley would appreciate. Crowley stepped in so close they were nearly touching, only a few inches and an instrument separating their corporeal forms.

"Let me show you—" Crowley began, his voice high, then he cleared his throat. He took a deep breath and released it, and Aziraphale could feel it warm against his cheek like a breeze; he had the bizarre urge to bottle it up for safekeeping. Crowley began again, voice closer to a rough rumble Aziraphale supposed he must think was fashionable. "Let me show you what kind of temptations I've been working on, angel."

Crowley played a simple melody, singing in Occitan about a man who took to bed with his lover each night, who had fair hair and blue eyes; he sang about the watchful nightingale who warned the man each night of the return of her friends, of her mother, and then finally of her husband. His voice was sweet, the lute an urgent counterpoint. The song was soft, gentle, romantic. Aziraphale quite forgot to breathe. He'd no idea Crowley even liked music, and here Crowley was giving him a private concert with skill that would be envied by the most accomplished of troubadours.

As Crowley finished, his intense gaze dropped from Aziraphale's eyes and Aziraphale carefully did not think of where he might be looking, instead focusing on turning his automatic nervous system back online. The humans would notice if he wasn't breathing, and he didn't like to forget until they said something.

"What a lovely song," he eventually managed to say. "A beautiful serenade."

Crowley looked him in the eyes again and smiled in that sideways way of his, as though Aziraphale had said something that was a private joke between them. "It's an alba, actually. Meant to be sung in the morning. Start off at dawn with a bit of lust, let it follow them through their whole day, you wouldn't believe what humans get up to at night. Or halfway through the afternoon."

Aziraphale raised his hand to... he didn't know what. He didn't have to figure it out, though, as Crowley stepped back out of the little bubble he had constructed around the two of them with the song, tripping slightly as he hurried to put a more polite distance between the two of them. Aziraphale dropped his arm, joining his hands together again and fiddling with his ring.

"Good to see you again, Aziraphale," Crowley said too loudly. "Sun'll be up soon. We'd better get back before we're missed."

Aziraphale watched as Crowley stepped backwards once more then sideways into a connecting hallway, feeling as though his heart was going with him, thinking he'd missed something important but not having the faintest idea what.

Author's note:

This is not set in any particular year except "the latter 12th century" because I fudged timelines like I'd just been made Willy Wonka's head chocolatier, but the Eleanor in question is Eleanor of Aquitaine, one of the most fascinating queens of all time, sometime after her marriage to Henry II of England. Her court at Poitiers might or might not have actually been known as the Court of Love, but without a doubt she was a fervid patron of the arts, including of troubadours.

An alba is a poem about lovers who spend the night together but must part at dawn before they're caught. The example on Wikipedia has nightingales in it. There was no way I wasn't going to use this to fill the prompt.

I found this website with lyrics and instrumentals of a bunch of High Medieval songs in both Occitan and English, and listened to this playlist of troubadour music while writing.

[greatbritishsimchallenge]

"Father, may we talk?"

Cassian didn't respond but took a seat at his desk and looked up at Henry expectantly. Cassian could feel his son's discomfort and immediately tell what was coming.

"I believe Edith and I have found you a good match for marriage. Her name is Lady Catherine. She is incredibly wealthy - the sole heir to the Newcrest estate - she still has sufficient child-bearing years, and she is said to be very beautiful."

Cassian frowned, "If she's so perfect then why the fuck would she marry me?"

Henry cleared his throat, "Like you, she has a... complicated... past. Unlike you, her past was revealed and she has been summarily shunned from polite society."

"What did she do?" Cassian enquired, intrigued.

Henry immediately became flustered, "I'm not sure that matters. She has since undergone a great transformation - Edith and I know her from our circles at church. She is now a respectable, God-fearing woman..."

"And yet you say no one else will marry her because of her reputation. If I'm going to be the one to give her chance, I should at least know what I'm giving a chance to."

Henry sighed, "Did you ever hear the nickname.... the Princess of Newcrest?"

Cassian frowned as he thought back, "I think I remember hearing about her around the time I was married to Regina... didn't she have an affair with the King, Queen and their adult children simultaneously?"

Henry cleared his throat uncomfortably, "Umm... something like that. Anyway, it is quite unjust that most in society fail to recognise how she has changed and learned. She is most worthy of a second chance."

"And I'm willing to give it, am I?" asked Cassian grumpily.

"Yes - you are," Henry replied firmly. "For you have done far, far worse. Indeed, if I may say father, she believes she is being given the second chance when we both know that it is you who is the fortunate one here."

Cassian said nothing but tightened his lips.

"There are also some... caveats... to the marriage to which you must agree before she too will agree to marriage," continued Henry.

"Very well. What are they?"

"First, she feels that, as the sole heir of the Newcrest estate, she must remain in her titled homelands. Upon marriage, you would move to Newcrest."

"You want me to leave the place I've called home for most of my life?" asked Cassian, a low tone of anger clear in his voice.

"The second," continued Henry, raising his voice a little as if to speak up over his father. "Has regards to faithfulness, a very important quality to Lady Catherine. She would require that... you wear a chastity belt."

"You fucking what?"

"To which she would hold the sole key... to ensure your loyalty and faithfulness solely to her. In return, she too would wear a chastity belt to which you would hold the sole key."

Cassian said nothing, but Henry could feel his father's anger building.

"Third, she would like a legal agreement drawn up that would specify some key behaviours of the marriage, such as how much time you are required to spend together, and the frequency of relations required in order to produce an heir. I have read all the stipulations myself and had them checked by our lawyers, and it all seems very conventional. She simply wishes to ensure the marriage is destined for success."

"And will I get to read these stipulations?"

"Of course. You are required to sign your agreement."

Cassian stood up and went to pour himself a drink.

"Father, this marriage will do a great deal to restore our family's financial status; as the sole heir to the Newcrest estate, she is one of the wealthiest women in all England. Finding someone willing to even consider marrying you has not been easy and, while this may be a very different relationship to the type you are used to, I do also believe it will be good for you."

Cassian downed his drink and poured himself another.

"In all her requirements - is meeting me one of them?" he asked.

"Oh, erm..." Henry was surprised by Cassian's question and took a moment to reflect back over his meetings with Lady Catherine. "No, actually. That didn't come up. I suppose she must have been satisfied with the information we provided. But I can suggest it, if you'd like?"

"No. I think I'd rather meet this one at the aisle, when it is too late for me to walk away," Cassian poured himself another drink then added, "I have one request of my own, before I go ahead with all of this."

"Yes, father?"

"I want to see Isabeau. I want her brought here, to Brindleton."

"Father, Aunt Isabeau has her own very busy life in Champ les Sims and -"

Cassian turned to shoot his son a warning look.

"As you wish," Henry replied, immediately backing down. "I will write to Aunt Isabeau immediately."

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[grntaire]

Yoooo I really love the choral music you’ve recently shared. I’m not really that familiar with it as a genre of music and don’t normally seek it out? but occasionally a piece will find its way to me (like at a funeral or now your blog), and I find it arrestingly beautiful. maybe partly because it’s a strange and unfamiliar medium to me. Do you have any favorites you would recommend for further exploration? 🩷

hi this is maybe the most hyped i've been for an ask ever bc i go fucking crazy for choral music so YES i do have recs for you. i will try to limit my little thoughts however i am very annoying so it will not go well

gibbons' hosanna to the son of david goes insanely hard. so jovial and fun and i had a blast singing this in undergrad! i love renaissance polyphony and this is a prime example of it!

poulenc's o magnum mysterium is truthfully wacky in the best most french way ever. and imo poulenc's queerness is so clear and present in his music so anything by him i love. my beautiful fruity catholic with a disorder <3

chesnokov's spaseniye sodelal is russian orthodox perfection fr. when my choir in undergrad read thru this i was stood between two low basses and at THAT part (1:32) i felt like i was being punched from the inside out. also the text means "salvation is created in the midst of the earth" and i think that's like. so fucking sick

stacey gibbs' arrangement of ezekiel is THE american spiritual arrangement to me. i once sang this in an italian church under a mexican conductor and then later we all sang it drunkenly for the owner at the hotel we were all staying at it was wild and so so so fun. such a beautiful and massive example of a joyful american spiritual also it's straight up a banger honestly. could talk ad nauseum abt how badass black choral scholars are and how grateful i am for all of the work that they've done and for inviting ppl to learn abt and experience it <3

holst's i love my love is one of my favs of all time. unfortunately england fucking devours when it comes to their choral tradition and this piece does one of my fav things where the way the composer sets the text changes its meaning! it's abt a woman named nancy who is in bedlam bc her love died at sea and it effectively broke her. while there, he comes to her, alive, breaks her out and they get married. while the poem itself shows a happy ending, the way holst plays w tempo and texture makes me go hmmm. 90% sure he did not show up and she's experiencing a delusion of sorts to cope w her grief (the i love my love's in the sopranos & altos at 1:24 kind of emulate a rocking motif, almost as if she's rocking herself back and forth in a soothing gesture, or the rocking of the ship he died on) and that tenor entrance in the melody after almost emulates her love coming to rescue her. god this whole piece makes me feel like my skin is on fire and i think it's a devastating portrayal of mental illness and you can rip it from my cold dead hands

stanford's beati quorum via is literally just gorgeous front to back. again unfortunately the english stay slaying

jake runestad's a silence haunts me literally does fucking haunt me and it changed the way i think about choral music. it's a setting of an unsent letter of beethoven's where he talks about losing his hearing and how afraid he is of losing it. this one you def have to watch bc there's a visual element to it! no spoilers but holy shit it shuts my brain down it's brutal and beautiful. i saw its premiere in 2019 and the entire hall was sobbing. like i have the words "be well" tattooed on me bc of it. the way the piano quotes moonlight sonata and his 9th symphony and the tensions emulating his tinnitus. OUGH

[wandringaesthetic]

Once again I must speak of humanity's highest art form, the Japanese Role-Playing Game

So Tales of Berseria ate my free time in a way that it's been a while since a video game did. I just beat it.

I'll get the easy stuff to talk about out of the way first.

Regarding gameplay. I played it on "normal." I should have played it on a higher difficulty, and you should too unless you are just remarkably bad at action RPGs. Starting from about the halfway point I got good enough at chaining combos together with Velvet that the difficulty became trivial. I ignored whole mechanics. I hardly ever bothered switching out characters.

Battles are the thing I like least about the Tales games I've played previously. They mostly translate the "action" part of "Action Role-Playing Game" as "pressing a lot of buttons" in a way that doesn't reward strategy OR skill very much. Berseria isn't an exception here. That said, there's probably a little more to it on a higher difficulty, and it feels a lot more "fair" than its direct predecessor (Tales of Zestiria) did, in that it does reward attacking enemy weaknesses and enemy attacks rarely feel totally unavoidable. The bell-like sound when you successfully KO, stun, etc an enemy and the combo counter going way up in the 50s does feel kinda satisfying in the way I imagine the lights and bells on a slot machine feel satisfying.

Overall visual presentation is uneven. In some ways, it feels like a game of an earlier generation. Like "we are doing as much as we can with these three tile sets, give us a break, let your imagination do some of the work." A few areas, windswept green hillsides and hazy, blooming marshes, are legit beautiful. Dungeons generally feel a little sparse. Towns are bright primary colors vaguely european anime world. Given that the world is being alternately overrun by daemons or under the iron grip of its government and church, the generally bright and sunny aesthetics feel a little discordant and I feel like this story could have benefited from the world backing up its themes and vibes a little better. Don't even necessarily veer away from the anime aesthetics much, just do something with the lighting. One of the moments where the aesthetic best backs up the plot and themes, IMO, comes late in the game. Your heroes are in an abandoned, far northern town. The sun is setting and there's a red glare on the snow....

SO ANYWAY NONE OF THAT IS WHY I WANT TO TALK ABOUT TALES OF BERSERIA.

From one point of view, this is a revenge story. From another point of view, this is a classic JRPG , you're awaking the elemental lords and preventing an ascent to godhood. From another point of view, you are the villain of the piece, on a mission to kill the guy who actually really did save the world, fucking up everything and everyone on your way. You consort with daemons, witches, pirates, and traitors. You eat people.

What is called reason... isn't. What is called selfishness... isn't. The people who are yelling about their feelings are maybe the most reasonable ones and the ones keeping it locked up are absolutely bridled by their emotions. What is luck? What is one's nature? What is free will?

(Why do birds fly?)

The writing, in terms of themes and motifs and meaningful echoes and variations on themes is really, really special. (At least if one understands that this IS a JRPG and this IS an anime and we ARE going to yell about our ideals.) Also the character dialogue (and there is so much dialogue, just SO MUCH both meaningful and unmeaningful this is also a feature of this series hope you enjoy listening to your six new wacky, grimdark anime friends for the next 60 hours) is very good.

Combs, apples, hair, swords, coins, flowers, compasses. Illness, grief, death, loyalty, faith, despair, perfection, children, hunger.

Maybe I'll walk this back when I'm not high on this game's fumes, but as a scholar of JRPGs, I think this is one of the top two or three best WRITTEN of them out there. I feel like I'd have to play it two or three more times to really highlight why, there is so much going on here. Like, if you accept that it is highly, highly character driven and the world's a little underbaked.

Anyway. Good and evil, order and chaos, darkness and light, reason and emotion, all that's illusions and if you must insist on dividing them, if they're not in an ourobourus yin yang, eating each other, keeping each other in check, shit gets fucked real quick.