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+800 Nicknames for Penis: A Comprehensive List for Different Ways to Call a Penis

+800 Nicknames for Penis: A Comprehensive List for Different Ways to Call a Penis

GIGGELI

Dicks can be referred to in a variety of ways. A collection of more than 800 additional words for the penis in alphabetical order is provided in this article. This list includes both common slang terminology and more uncommon and obscure words that are all related to the penis.

+800 Different Words for Penis: A Comprehensive List

Anaconda

Antenna

Appendage

Armadillo

Arrow

Baby maker

Baguette

Bald Avenger

Bald-headed giggle stick

Bally Wacker

Banana

Banger

Baseball bat

Baton

Bayonet

Beast

Beef bayonet

Beef whistle

Bellend

Big boy

Big guy

Biscuit

Bishop

Black mamba

Blastocyst

Blood sausage

Blue-veined custard chucker

Blue-veined junket pumper

Boaby

Bobbin

Bollocks

Bologna pony

Bolt

Bone

Boner

Booboo

Boom stick

Boot

Bopper

Botswana beef bayonet

Bouncer

Bouncing Betty

Braciole

Brain

Branch

Bratwurst

Broccoli

Broccoli spear

Brown trout

Brownie

Brutus and the Twins

Bubble

Bubble gum machine

Buckaroo

Buckwheat

Buddah's belly button

Buffalo soldier

Bulge

Bull

Bull's-eye

Bully beef

Bully stick

Bum tickler

Bumper

Burrito

Buster

Butt dart

Butterbean

Button

Caber

Cabeza

Cactus

Cadbury's c

Cajones

Camel toe

Cane

Cannoli

Captain winky

Capuchin

Carrot

Cervix sentinel

Chameleon

Champignon

Cheese log

Cheesestick

Chef's special

Cherub

Chicken

Chico stick

Choad

Chode

Chopper

Chowder

Christmas goose

Chub

Chubby

Chuck Dickens

Cigar

Cinnamon roll

Clam

Classic

Clit stick

Cloak

Clock

Club

Cobra

Cock

Cod

Colossus

Commander

Cone

Conga

Conquistador

Consolation prize

Cookie

Corkscrew

Corn dog

Cornholio

Cornish game hen

Corporal

Cossack

Cougar bait

Coxcomb

Crank

Crankshaft

Creamer

Crimper

Crimson mushroom

Crinkle-cut

Crown jewels

Crunchwrap

Crème de la crème

Cucumber

Cummerbund

Custard launcher

Cylinder

D's

Dagger

Dallas Dangler

Danger noodle

Darth Vader

Deep sea diver

Dick

Dickas Hilton

Ding dong

Ding-dong

Dingaling

Dipstick

Disco stick

Dismount

Divining rod

DJ

Dog

Doggy

Dolly

Dong

Donkey

Doorknob

Dope stick

Dork

Dormouse

Double barrel

Double dragon

Downstairs department

Drainpipe

Driller

Drumstick

Dude piston

Dumb stick

Dutch courage

Dutch rudder

Excalibur

Firehose

Franks and beans

Gerald

Gherkin

Giggeli

Goldfinger

Groin

Hammer

hammer of love

Hammer of Thor

handle

hard drive

Hard-on

hardware

hatchet wound

he-man

heat-seeking missile

heat-seeking moisture missile

helmet

herbie

Hercules

high hard one

hoo-ha

hoo-hoo

hook

horn

Hose

hose

hot dog

hot rod

hot sausage

Humphrey

hymie

iceberg

Indiana Bones

Jack in the box

Jack's magic beanstalk

Jackhammer

jammy

janitor in the hallway

java

javelin

jawbreaker

Jedi

Jefferson

jelly doughnut

Jenny Craig

Jerry

jiffy stick

Jimmy

Jizz Launcher

John Henry

John Johnson

Johnson

Jorma

Joy-stick

Joystick

joystick

Judge

Juicy fruit

jumbo

Jumper

Junior

Junk

junk

justin

Justus

Kaiser

kebab

Keck

Kennedy

kielbasa

King Ding Dong

King Kong

King Richard

King size

King snake

King's scepter

King's sword

Kipper

Kitty

Knob

Knobgoblin

Knobhead

Knobkerrie

Knobstick

Kraken

Krull the Warrior King

Kulli

Kyrpä

L'Engin

L'Outil

L'Unita

Lady-pleaser

Laidy's lollypop

Lance

Lancer

Lava flow

Leader

Leaky faucet

Leatherman

Lechon

Leek

Leg

Leg of lamb

Leg of mutton

Leggy

Lemon

Lemondrop

Length

Lengthy

Leo

Leosaurus

Leper

Leroy

Leviathan

Libido

Lick

Lickety-split

Lighthouse

Lightning rod

Lil' bro

Lil' willy

Lily

Lima

Limber dick

Limber jimmy

Limbo

Limousine

Limp biscuit

Limp noodle

Limp penis

Limp-dick

Limp-jim

Limpkin

Lincoln

Lindy

Lingam

Link

Linty

Lion

Lipstick

Liquidator

Liquor stick

Lissome

Little birdie

Little bro

Little chap

Little guy

Little head

Little john

Little man

Little peter

Little soldier

Little willy

Lizard

Lizard tongue

Locomotive

Log

Lollipop

Long Dong Silver

Long dong silver

Long fellow

Long john

Long johnson

Long one

Long stick

Longfellow

Longfellow diller

Longhorn

Longie

Longjohn

Longshanks

Longstaff

Magic Mike

Magic stick

Magic Wand

Magic wand

Manhood

Meat Scepter

Meat stick

Member

Micropenis

Mini-me

Missile

Moby Dick

Mojo

Monster

Mount Vesuvius

Mr. Happy

Mr. Winky

Mule

Mushroom

Mushroom Head

Mutton

Myrtle

Nard

Nether rod

One-eye Pete

One-Eyed Monster

One-eyed monster

One-Eyed Snake

One-eyed trouser snake

One-eyed wonder weasel

Organ

Package

Packer

Packing heat

Pecker

Pee-Pee

Pee-pee

Peen

Pencil

Pencil dick

Penile appendage

Penile shaft

Penile tissue

Penile unit

Penile weapon

Penis

Pepperoncini

Peter

Phallos

Phallus

Piece

Pink Oboe

Pintle

Pipe

Pistol

Piston

Pleasure Stick

Plonker

Pocket Rocket

Pogo stick

Poker

Pole

Popcorn

Pork Sword

Prick

Private

Private part

Purple-headed yogurt slinger

Purple-helmeted trouser snake

Purple-Helmeted Warrior of Love

Purple-helmeted warrior of love

Purple-helmeted yogurt thrower

Python

Quiver bone

Ramrod

Ranger

Rascal

Red-capped mushroom

Rod

Root of Jesse

Rude boy

Sausage

Scepter

Schlong

Schwanz

Schwanzstucker

Schwetty balls

Scooby Snack

Screwdriver

Scrod

Scrotum

Sea monster

Secret weapon

Shaft

Shillelagh

Shiv

Shlong

Skin Flute

Skin flute

Skinner

Slingblade

Slug

Slugger

Smacker

Snake

Snapper

Soldier

Spam javelin

Spear

Speed Bump

Speedboat

Spigot

Spigot of love

Spitstick

Spitter

Sponge

Spongebob

Sprout

Spunk gun

Spurt gun

Squirt gun

Staff

Stallion

Stand

Stand up

Starfruit

Stick

Stiffie

Stiffy

Stinger

Stock

Stone

Stone of David

Stonehenge

Stonker

Stopper

Striker

Stud

Stump

Submarine

Sugar stick

Super soaker

Supercock

Surfboard

Swamp lizard

Swansong

Sweetmeat

Swiss Army Penis

Swizzle stick

Sword

Tabasco

Tadger

Tail

Tall tommy

tally

Tallywacker

tallywhacker

Tang

Tank

tapa

Tassle

Tasty pastry

tater

Tazmanian devil

Tea and crumpets

Tea stick

Telescoping tower

Tent peg

Testicle

Testicles

testicular tissue

testiculi

testies

testons

testosterbone

The anaconda

The baton

The big guy

the big vein

the bishop

The blue-veined custard chucker

The chopper

The cone

the conga

The cyclops

The ding dong

The Dipstick

The dong

The driver

The dude piston

the eye of the needle

the family jewels

the flagpole

The flesh flute

The flesh rocket

the fleshy tripod

the fuck stick

the fun rod

The grower

the head

The heat-seeking moisture missile

the hose

The joystick

the King

The knob

the little man in the boat

The love muscle

the magic wand

the main vein

The male member

the man in the boat

The meat whistle

the member

The middle leg

The mighty mite

the old boy

The old man

The one-eyed captain

The one-eyed monster

the one-eyed snake

The one-eyed wonder worm

The package

The peen

The peeper

the pendulum

the peter

The pink cigar

the pink oboe

The pipe

the piston

the pleasure pole

The poker

The pole

the pork sword

the prick

The purple-helmeted warrior

the purple-helmeted warrior of love

The python

The rocket

The rod

The salami

The sausage

The schlong

the scoop

The shaft

The shotgun

The skin flute

The snake

the spitter

the staff of life

the stick

The stiff one

The stinger

the stonker

the sword

The third leg

The tool

The trouser snake

The tube steak

the unit

The wang

the weasel

The wedge

the wee-wee

The weenie

The whopper

The wiener

The wiggle stick

the willy

the wingwang

The womb raider

The wonder worm

The woody

the worm

thingy

Third Leg

Third leg

Thorn

Thrill drill

Throb knob

throbber

Throbbing gristle

Thumper

Thunderbird

Thunderbolt

Thunderstick

Tic Tac

Tickle pickle

Tickler

Tiger

Tiki

Timber

Time machine

Tingler

Tinker

Tinkerbell

tip

Tip drill

Tip of the iceberg

Tipper

Tissue

Titan

Toad

toadstool

todger

Toe

Tool

tooly

tooter

Toothpick

Tootsie roll

Top gun

Torch

Tower

Tower of power

tractor beam

Trafalgar

Treasure

Tree trunk

Tri-pod

Trinket

Trombone

Trouser Snake

Trousersnake

Trumpet

Truncheon

Trunk

Tuba

tube

Tummy banana

Tuna Can

Tuna can

Tuna torpedo

Turgid Trouser Snake

Turgid turtle

turkey

Turkey baster

Turkey neck

Turnip

turtle

Turtleneck

Tusk

twanger

Twig

Twig and Berries

Twig and berries

Twinkie

twinky

Twister

Two ball cane

Two veg and meat

Two-legged Boa

Two-legged tripod

twonker

Umbrella handle

Uncircumcised wonder

Uncle

Uncle Dick

Uncle John

Unit

unmentionables

Uzi

Vainilla

Vainilla Stick

Valiant vein

Veggie

vein

Vein train

Vein train.

Vein-cutter

Vein-erect

Veined custard launcher

VeinMaster 3000

Veiny Victor

Veinzilla

Velvet sword

Vessel

Vienna Sausage

Viking horn

Viking Staff

Vindicator

Vinegar

Violin

Virility

Vixen

Vodka

Volcano

Wally

Wand

wand of light

Wang

wang dang doodle

Wanger

wangle

Wangsta

Wanker

wankie

War club

Warrior

Weapon

Weapon of ass destruction

Weapon of mass destruction

Weapon of Mass Seduction

Wedge

Wee-wee

weenie

weewee

Weiner

wenis

wet noodle

Whacker

Whammer

Whang

Whangdoodle

wheenie

Whip

Whistle

White gold

White Mamba

Whoopie Stick

whopper jr.

widget

Wiener

Wiener Schnitzel

Wiggle stick

wiggle worm

Wiggler

Wiggly

William

Willow

Willpower

Willy

Willy the one-eyed wonder worm

willy wonka

Wing wong

wing-wang

Wingman

Winkie

Winky

Winnebago

Winner

Winston

Winston Churchill

Wintermelon

Wisdom Wand

Wise man

Wishbone

wizard sleeve

Wonder Worm

Wood

Woodpecker

Woody

Worm

Wormhole

wormy

Wrecking ball

Wriggler

Wriggly

Wrinkle

wrinklepump

Wrist Rocket

Wyvern

X-factor

Xylophone

Yad

Yak

Yam

yam

Yam bag

Yams

Yang

Yankee doodle

Yard

Yardstick

Yawing Yowie

Yearling

Yellow

Yellow Belly

Yellow Dart

Yellow dragon

Yellow Peril

Yellow Sausage

Yellow submarine

Yen

Yew

Ygdrasil's staff

Yin-yang serpent

yingyang

Yippie

Yipsicle

Yo-yo

Yob

yobbo

Yoda

Yoga stick

Yoghurt Cannon

Yoghurt gun

Yoghurt pistol

Yogurt

Yogurt hose

Yogurt Slinger

Yogurt slinger

Yogurt thrower

Yolk

Yolkstick

Yolky poke

Yoni

yoni stick

Youth

Yoyo

Yuca

Yule log

Yum yum

Yum-yum

Yummy

Zapper

Zealot

Zebedee

Zebracorn horn

zebu

Zen

Zephyr

Zeppelin

Zesty Italian

Zeus

ziggurat

Zigzag

Zilla

Zinger

Zipper

Zipper Ripper

Zipper snake

Zippy

ziz

Zog

zombie

Zombie maker

Zombie stick

Zonker

Zoom Stick

Zoombini

Zoomer

Zoot stick

Zorro

Zucchini

Zygmunt Freud

Zygote poker

Zygotene

dude?

[kmp78]

"Pokey? What are we 12? For adult women .. who the fuck calls a d*ck pokey?"

Anon doesn't like what we're currently calling Jared's penis, sorry, dick. Here are some other options they might approve of:

Anaconda, appendage, baby maker, baguette, banana, baton, big boy, bobbin, bone, boner, bratwurst, bulge, burrito, butt dart, cane, cannoli, captain winky, carrot, chub, chubby, clit stick, club, cobra, cock, commander, corn dog, corporal, cucumber, custard launcher, D, dagger, danger noodle, deep sea diver, ding dong, dipstick, dong, firehose, gherkin, hammer, hard-on, heat seeking missile, hercules, hoo-ha, hotdog, jackhammer, jawbreaker, jimmy, jizz launcher, johnson, joystick, junior, junk, knob, lady-pleaser, length, lightning rod, log, lollipop, long john, longfellow, magic stick, magic wand, manhood, meat stick, member, Mr. Happy, mushroom, organ, package, pecker, pee pee, peen, piece, pleasure stick, pocket rocket, pogo stick, prick, private, python, rod, sausage, schlong, screwdriver, secret weapon, snake, spear, squirt gun, staff, stallion, stiffie, stud, submarine, super soaker, tallywhacker, thingy, third leg, thrill drill, throbber, thunderbolt, tickle pickle, titan, tool, tree trunk, tri-pod, turkey baster, unit, unmentionable, valiant vein, velvet sword, volcano, wang, warrior, weapon, wee wee, weiner, wenus, willy, wingman, winky, wishbone, wood, woody, worm, yard stick, yule log, zeppelin, and zucchini.

Man, with soo many choices, maybe I SHOULD look into doing fan fic! 🤭🤭

CAPTAIN WINKY!!!!! 😂😂😂

I'm keeping that one. ✔️

[comeonandsmash]

@tuliblu/@tulipanstore I LOVE THEM OMG

[lovelyirony]

I am a HUGE winteriron shipper so if that's acceptable for you could you do a fic, however short or long you want with winteriron and the prompt: Russian Bucky. That's it. Russian Bucky. How, why, is up to you but that's the prompt! Thank you!

Bucky does not like that he’s in America again. Even if he is really only here to act as security for Natasha’s new art showing. 

It’s loud, friendly, and he just wants to drink in silence. People never stop talking. 

Natasha’s first night is all the exclusive donors and previous buyers. He knows some of the people. Bruce is actually his favorite American because he’s awkward and doesn’t like talking anyways, but he has a great way with reviews for art and placement of it. 

There’s Clint, who’s a disaster who bought him a tiny bottle of shitty vodka and said “welcome to America! Please don’t kill me,” and Bucky’s not honestly sure why he’s invited because he’s very broke. 

“He entertains me,” Natasha says, scarlet lips pulling into a grin as he watches him nearly trip and fall over an untied shoelace. “And he’s...fun. Very American.” 

“Didn’t know your type was Americans,” Bucky mutters. “The first thing I know you to have bad taste in.” 

“Oh, as if your type is any better,” Natasha mutters.

“And what is my type, exactly?” 

“You don’t have one,” Natasha says glibly, “because you prefer staying forever alone and broody.” 

“I’m not broody.” 

“Your all-black outfit begs difference,” Sharon calls, grinning. “Hey Buck, long-time no-see.” 

“Hi Sharon,” Bucky says, smiling slightly. 

He sees Steve behind her, almost looking like a golden retriever. They had served together in the army when they were young, and Bucky’d had to drag that stupid boy out of too many fights. 

It made them best friends, almost like brothers, and it’s the only reason why he usually adventures out to America. 

“Missed seeing you,” Steve says, bringing him into a hug. “There’s only so many times Sharon will tolerate sushi with me.” 

“He claims that it’s a miracle food,” Sharon says, rolling her eyes. “I just think he likes it because you like it.” 

“I do not!” Steve teases. “Hey, Natasha.” 

“Hey stranger,” Nat says, grinning. “Surprised to see you out of running shorts and tank tops.” 

“You don’t only see me when I’m running,” Steve says, rolling his eyes. “You come to see Sharon about every week.” 

“Yeah but I only have eyes for her,” Natasha says, winking. 

“Stop flirting with my wife.” 

“Then stop being married to such a beautiful woman.” 

Sharon snorts, looking down at her phone, and then back up at Nat. 

“Hey, I’ll be right back. I need to let my cousin in. He’s the one I told you about who liked your newspaper collage-work.” 

Natasha looks over at Bucky for a moment and oh no. She has her match-making look on her. 

“I think you’ll like Tony,” she says grinning. 

“I’m sure he’ll be a good client of yours,” Bucky responds, lips pressing into a straight line. “I don’t need to be dating, Romanov.” 

“Ooh last name, how scary,” she teases. 

Tony is....American. 

He’s already laughing loudly with Sharon about some sort of in-joke, and walks right up to Natasha with a smile. 

“Miss Romanov, you look as wonderful as your art. It’s an honor to make your acquaintance.” 

He then kisses the top of her hand and starts into conversation about how he discovered her art from his assistant, Pepper, and he thought it would be a good fit for his personal home. 

Bucky stays in the background, hoping that this talkative machine would follow along with Nat and distract her for an hour or two. 

And then she turns. 

“Tony...have you met Bucky Barnes? He runs security.” 

“I haven’t,” Tony says, smiling. “Nice to meet you. Your parents name you after a family member?” 

“President,” Bucky answers stiffly. 

“And here I thought you were Russian.” 

“I am. They just hated communism.” 

Tony barks out a laugh. 

“Well, come. Look at art with us and tell me more about yourself.” 

“No,” Bucky states. He then turns on his heel and walks away. 

No sense in giving this guy hope. 

But he’s undeterred. 

While he maintains his space, he still talks to Bucky throughout the event. 

He comes back the next day with two robots to help wrap the works. 

“What,” Bucky says, looking at the two creatures who seem to be bickering. 

“They’re fighting over who gets to put the bow on it,” Tony says. “Dummy, put the bow on. You, I’ll give you a bow to put on. No sense in fighting.” 

“You named them ‘Dummy’ and ‘You’?” 

“Spelled differently,” Tony says. “Dum-E is just...he likes to make oil smoothies, and U has opinions about the alphabet arrangement. Don’t ask them about it. But how are you doing, Bucky?” 

“Fine.” 

“Only fine? We’ll have to change that. Let me take you out for a burger?” 

“No. I don’t like American food. Or Americans.” 

“Can’t blame you there,” Tony says with a sigh, but grins anyways. “Let me know if you do change your mind at all though, Barnes.” 

Yeah, he won’t be. 

-

Except that Nat likes America, and he thinks she found a muse in Clint, because she told Bucky that she’s staying in America for the next six months at least. 

“I hate you,” he says, cursing her out. “Why here?!” 

“Why not?” Natasha says. “Their winters are similar, if not nicer. Besides, you can be friends with Steve and not have to see anyone else besides Clint. And maybe Tony. I like Tony.” 

“Why do you like him?” Bucky groans. “He talks too quickly. He is too American. I don’t trust his teeth.” 

“Don’t trust his dentist then, not the teeth,” she responds with a shrug. “And I like him because he’s good people. Even if he doesn’t seem it. Keep an eye on him for me when he’s around, okay?” 

“What, afraid he’ll overpay for your work again?” 

“I’d like that,” Natasha muses, thinking about the obscene amount of money he had sent her way, under the guise of “her having too much immense talent not to.” 

It was enough to give Bucky quite the generous raise, which was appreciated. But he still didn’t like him. 

-

Tony becomes integrated into their lives with ease. 

He likes improving Clint’s building, checking in on Nat, and invading Bucky’s space. 

It’s not all bad. Sometimes Tony gives him a hot dog, which is good. 

“You’re going to go rail-thin at this rate,” Tony says, shoving a baguette into his hands. “Who goes grocery shopping for you? Mice? Why do you have, like, miniscule portions? I know that Russia is different, but you still get fed.” 

“We sacrifice half our food to the leader of Mother Russia,” Bucky deadpans. “And then we get our yearly tracksuit in return.” 

Tony laughs, and Bucky kind of likes making him laugh. 

Not in that way. Don’t go thinking that. 

“Well, regardless. I think you’re almost conning me into doing this.” 

“What, me? Getting free food? A whole baguette? I don’t think so,” Bucky says. “But next time, give me soup.” 

Tony laughs again. 

-

Bucky didn’t think he’d take him seriously. 

“I wasn’t sure what soups you like or if you have allergies, so I brought four different soups,” he answers. 

“Tony, you didn’t have to do that.” 

“Silence Ice-Pop,” Tony shushes. “This one is black-bean soup, this one is broccoli-cheddar, this one is your standard chicken-noodle, and this one is French onion...” 

“Well come on in, then,” Bucky sighs. “You’re gonna have to help me finish this soup.” 

-

He doesn’t know why he does it. 

But Tony’s bodyguard had a surprise funeral, can’t make it to a high-up event for Tony, and so Bucky volunteers. 

It’s a charity, one that Tony never misses. Ever. 

Natasha asks him to do it. 

“I know you’ll complain and bitch, but genuinely he-” 

“I already told him I’d go,” Bucky says. “Texted him.” 

“You have his number?” Natasha questions, brows furrowing. “I thought you hated him.” 

“Gave me soup. Can’t hate a guy who gives you soup.” 

“Holy shit, are you gonna marry him?” 

“Why would I marry him?” Bucky splutters. “What, because I accepted soup?” 

“One time a guy called you cute, and you told him that he needed to stop revealing so much about himself because you could kill him,” Nat said. “You haven’t even threatened Tony’s life yet! I can’t believe I didn’t put it together! You like-” 

“Do not finish that sentiment,” Bucky threatens. “Do not, if you do-” 

“You like him!” 

“I don’t!” Bucky hisses. “I do not like an American!” 

“You do!” Natasha proclaims, laughing. “Oh my god! You like an American!” 

“Shut up!” Bucky groans. “I hate myself!” 

Natasha cannot stop laughing, wheezing on the couch. “Holy shit!” 

“Do not tell him,” Bucky begs. “Don’t tell anybody.” 

“You’re such a nerd,” Natasha snorts. “I won’t tell anybody for two months. But you have to tell him.” 

“I don’t have to tell him shit,” Bucky scowls. 

“I think you do. I think he could potentially like you.” 

“No. I’ll get over it.” 

Natasha gives him a flat look. 

“You can’t just ‘get over’ a crush.” 

“Yes I can. I’m Russian. We can do it.” 

“No,” Natasha says simply. “Two months, Yasha! Two months!” 

...great. 

Now he has to deal with liking an American. 

[hungrymage]

Escape Room

ϟ–Through some miracle, they manage to break through the wall of guards. She glimpses hallways disappearing into the depths. Perhaps the rest of their things are there, or whatever messes with their magic. That has to be the way to escape. 

Ilyana turns away from the open door, sticking a few strands of hair in her mouth. If only she had her snacks…but she has to find Morgan. Then possibly steal some of that tasteless excuse for food. She shoves past a fallen guard, heading towards the kitchen, pulling her hair from her mouth. Chewing on it does nothing to alleviate her insatiable appetite. 

“…hex boy?” He’s on the ground, curled in a little heap, clutching his side. There’s a noodle in his hair. She kneels next to him, taking one of his hands in hers. “We…we found a way out…we think…” a sniff. “did you…get in a food fight?” Not the issue here. Delicate fingers brush the noodle from soft brown locks. 

Her tummy rumbles. There’s no time to grab food. There’s a baguette on the floor. Ilyana bends down to rip a chunk of bread off. It’s stale and disgusting and she chokes it down as she takes Morgan’s hand again, running for the shipment room. 

“…let’s…try a door…” The other members of their party have split off into little groups, sprinting down the flickering hallways. “I’ll attempt…to heal you then…” But she holds little faith in any of her magical abilities right now.

Her beloved is hurt, covered in soup remnants. Guards footsteps’ echo down the twisting corridors. She reaches for the first door they come across, throwing it open wide—

—to find nothing inside. Not even a spiderweb. She looks over her shoulder at him, lavender hair a mess around her face. “What…should we do?” 

> @amnesiac-pawn

[scaryscarecrows]

Beggar, Pick Up Your Crown

AN: Title from Jerry Cantrell’s ‘Siddhartha’. Takes place the day after ‘Out of Hell’.

Happy birthday, Jason!

* * * 

Jason wakes from the...he’s thinking the third-best nights’ sleep he’s had in his whole life. First one was...pfft, one’a those random nights, Mom had been feeling okay, and they’d stayed up to see the sunrise and made s’mores on the stove. Second had been after his first. His. Patrol. First patrol.

He has no idea what time it is, and he’s afraid to open his eyes, lest last night turn out to be a dream. He stays still for the moment, concentrating on the cheap hotel mattress under his still-aching body, the smell of complimentary soap and cleaner and that lingering people have been born, had sex, and probably died in this room smell that these sorts of places have. He can hear rain and traffic and general Gotham Living outside and in the rooms around him.

And he’s hungry.

Okay. Okay. He’s woken up out of nice dreams before, and it hurts, but. But he can do it again. One more time.

Please…

He cracks his eyes open.

The room is beige and...rusty orange...and very bright. Well, bright to him, anyway. It’s empty, but he rolls over and, muscles protesting the whole time, peers under the bed. Zilch.

Still unconvinced he’s not hallucinating or unwillingly playing one of the clown’s head games, Jason stumbles out of the warm bed, ankle cracking horribly when he makes it take his weight, and shuffles to the bathroom. Nothing. Nothing in the shower, or wedged into the little cabinet under the sink. He’s alone here.

He lets his breath out slowly, slumping forward against the sink to take some of the pressure off his ankle. He’ll have to look at it later, look at everything later, but...but not now. Not this second, huh?

His hair’s too long; his bangs are in his eyes and he can feel dead ends scraping the back of his neck. No way in hell is he letting anyone near him with scissors. That’s okay. He did self-trims when he was a kid.

He’s out.

He’s out, he’s free of that monster. That bastard’s never going to hurt him ever again. The thought makes him lightheaded, brings an unfamiliar twist to his lips that feels like it might be a smile.

And then he makes the mistake of looking up at the mirror.

The boy-no, he’s not a boy anymore, is he-looking back at him looks dead. He’s pasty white, thin and hollow-cheeked with no spark to his eyes. There’s cuts and gashes all over his face, his nose is crooked, and...and there’s that. The brand on his face, the one that still hurts, the one that screams to the world, PROPERTY OF THE JOKER, IF FOUND, PLEASE RETURN!

I’ll never get away from him.

The mirror shatters under his fist, shards jabbing in between his knuckles and falling into the sink and bouncing off the counter to hit the tiles by his feet. He doesn’t care. He can’t face this he can’t face this he can’t--

This is too much for his ankle; it buckles and then he’s kneeling in the glass, sobbing so hard it’s silent and hurts his throat and chest. He chokes, doubles over so’s his forehead’s pressed against his knees, bites down on his lips to try and...and…

Willis always said, ‘boys don’t cry’. Bruce hadn’t...he’d never known what to do with tears. Or any outpouring of emotion, for that matter. And Joker had loved them. But Jason? Right now, he doesn’t care about any of that. He wants Mom, but Mom can’t be here anymore.

It takes him several minutes to register that the tears have stopped and that he’s just...huddled here on the floor with glass jutting out of his skin. The glass doesn’t hurt, but his ankle does and he slowly and carefully brings it up to investigate.

It’s swollen and hot to the touch and it...something about it doesn’t look quite right. He’ll wrap it, he decides, he’ll get a compression bandage or something later today. Okay. He’s okay. He’s just gotta breathe, get up, clean this mess up because he was raised better than to leave this shit for the housekeeper, and then...if he is where he thinks he is, there’s a bodega two blocks south, one that has a gray tabby that lounges in the window. They’ll have a thing of chips or something he can choke down (safely), maybe bandages. Definitely a hoodie, at least, a nice touristy hoodie.

He can make it two blocks. Like he’s got a choice, but he can make it two blocks.

* * *

The smell of rotting watermelons, cheap ice cream bars, and packaged bread is possibly one of the best things Jason’s ever smelled in his life. He’s starving, and now, confronted with food choices, he knows he’s gonna have to exercise some restraint and not just devour a stale baguette in the middle of the store. Crackers. And maybe a soup-cup-thing, that’s mild. And, uh, cranberry juice, yeah, that’s sorta healthy. And a Reese’s. If the Reese’s makes him sick, it’ll be worth it.

The owner is dancing lightly to the mariachi on the radio and the cat is more interested in the birds outside than in him, which means he can limp through the store on his own sweet time. They do have bandages, and the food he thinks he can do, and a red hoodie* proclaiming, I Survived Gotham. It’ll do.

What’s worrying him-apart from, you know, everything else-is where he found money last night. He doesn’t remember a damn thing after leaving Arkham, and it scares him. Mystery for later, though, because he’s hungry and grateful he doesn’t have to rob the bodega man, who-miracle of miracles-doesn’t so much as look up at him. He pulls the hoodie on the second he’s outside, though, tugs the hood up to try and cover the damn thing at least a little.

He doesn’t know what to do.

He can’t go back to him-he’ll die first-and he can’t...s’like they say, you can never go home again. If Wayne Manor was ever home. 

Left me he left me with him he said he’d always be there and he fucking left me with that bastard--

He just doesn’t know what to do.

He stumbles back into the hotel room, debates on whether or not he wants to use the grody microwave provided, and decides that yes, yes he does. This will be the first real food he’s had in over a year and he wants to try and enjoy it, if that’s possible.

Man, he hasn’t had one of these in...geeze, since before Mom died. They’re not Old Money Approved, after all. Good. He’s not Old Money Approved, either.

It’s done, he decides, when it pops and the lid gets all soft and hot. It smells okay. Safe, anyway, no hint of Joker venom or any other little surprises. The steam curls around his face, making the...the burn a little tender, but it’s fine. It’s fine. He bought it all sealed up and he’s the only one who’s touched it. He took off the safety tin.

So why can’t he eat it? His appetite’s vanished, even though he knows he needs to eat, it’s just…

You gotta eat, baby.

That sounds like Mom, and it should be concerning, but...he does need to eat. And he can’t just chug it, either, much as he’d like to get it over with. He’s gotta be slow and careful.

Cracker! He’ll dip a cracker in.

The soup’s hot and salty on his tongue, miles above the slop he’s been eating in the asylum. Once he swallows the slightly soggy cracker, his appetite returns with a vengeance and it’s an effort not to pour half the column of crackers in, smash them to bits with the spoon, and eat the resulting mush here and now. But he can’t. He’ll be sick. Hell, he might be sick anyway, who knows.

He dunks another cracker in, catches a wispy noodle on it this time. Jesus. Jesus Christ, this is it, he’s living on soup and crackers forever, this is the best thing he’s eaten in his life--

--no. No it isn’t, is it. Alfred. Alfred made…

Not now. Just eat.

That’s right. He can’t think about anything, that’s not...he’s spent a long time, trapped in his own head. Not now. He can’t do that now. Food first.

The soup goes down easily enough, the cran juice a little less so but it stays in, and then he has to admit that yup, time for some self-examination.

He’s not facing the mirror-or what’s left of it-again. It’s better to stay here, to strip off despite knowing that hotel beds are scuzzy, and, well, survey the damage. And there is a lot of damage. Burn scars, wire scars, marks he can’t even begin to trace. He doesn’t really want to know what his back looks like, but he’ll have to find out.

Further poking the ankle says that oh, sure, it’s...healing, or maybe as good as it’s gonna get, but that squeezing certain spots of it makes his vision go white and over-manipulating it is worse than that. He puts the bandage on it, because what else can he do, and struggles back into his clothes. No more. He can’t do more right now.

* * *

Jason does not mean to fall into a fitful sleep, but that’s what happens. He wakes up gasping and soaked in sweat, a man’s shouting echoing in his ears. Sounds like Willis.

After a minute of lying here, he comes to realize that it isn’t Willis, and it isn’t a dream. It’s...lobby, something’s going on in the lobby.

Shit.

It’s hard to move as steathily as he used to, but he’s still quieter than the average schmuck when he slips out of bed and opens the door to creep down the hall. It’s late, which means the clerk should be alone, which makes them easy pickings. People never change, much as Batman insists that they do.

The shouting man has a gun. He’s wearing a scarf around the lower half of his face and he’s actually kinda big. Looks plenty comfortable threatening a woman half his size.

He doesn’t think, just moves; grabs one of the little chairs near the doors and hurls it

Owowowow not good movement not good

at the man’s back. He trips, gun falling from his fingers and sliding under the desk. The woman, wisely, ducks.

“What the fuck--oh, we got us a Batman-wannabe.” The guy cracks his back. “Come on, then, hero.”

He’s out of practice. Doesn’t mean he’s helpless. He dodges the oncoming haymaker and retaliates by going straight for the jugular.

Or, in this case, the balls. Fighting fair does not get you far in life.

The bravado vanishes. It’s hard to be badass when you’re shrieking like a little girl with your testicles twisted in a fist. Jason lets go, headbutts him to get him down, and steps around him to fish the gun out from under the desk.

“Get the hell out of here,” he says, more out of breath than he should be after that. His shoulders hurt from the throw. That can’t be good. “Or pray to God Batman shows up to save you in the next thirty seconds.”

“You son of a bitch--”

“Twenty-nine. Twenty-eight. Twenty-seven--”

“I’ll kill you!”

He cocks the gun. Little awkwardly, it’s true-Bruce taught him the absolute bare minimum of gun handling-but it gets his point across.

“Twenty-six. Twenty-five.”

The man can’t quite get upright, but he manages to hobble outside. Jason doesn’t chase after him. He’s shaking, a little, and the gun’s awkward in his hand.

“Thank you.” Oh. Yeah. He forgot about her. “I don’t know--he wanted money, I guess--”

“Don’t they all.” He doesn’t turn around. He can’t; he’s way too identifiable. “You’re welcome.” Back to his room it is, to get his crap and clear out. “I’m gonna check out before the cops show.”

“I’m not calling them.” Huh. “They never come. That’s the third time in two months we’ve had someone in here.”

Figures.

He doesn’t answer-what do you say, huh?-, just shuffles back to his room. He doesn’t realize, until the door’s locked behind him, that he’s still got the gun.

Well, he figures, as he stumbles back towards the bed, at least if Joker manages to track him here, he won’t have to go back. He’ll kill the clown or himself, it doesn’t matter which, but he’s not going back.

He crawls under the blankets this time, tries to get a little more comfortable. It must work, because in five minutes, he’s out. Nothing wakes him this time.

THE END

*Arkham!Jason has a fondness for red hoodies even pre-Red Hood; both baby Jay and grown-up Jay are shown wearing one in the prequels. For obvious reasons. :p

[descolaic-myth]

honest to god bro you can just infodump descole/desmond headcanons i'd read em i adore that bastard of a man

B R O

Okay so I’ll do my best to organize them but if some of them go into way-out-there AU territory I’m sorry, I did my best to keep to regular canon fhjsdgfysdgfhdsgbf:

I haven’t seen this anywhere else aside from an AU of sorts but like, where do you think Descole gets all his outfits from? Simple: he sews them himself. Obvi this would be for a multitude of reasons (can’t afford to leave a papertrail, doesn’t trust regular tailors, prefers sewing his own clothes anyway, etc.) and also would be theoretically cheaper if you count the dubious 1960s era the Layton series is in? Basically: excuse to have Descole just go ham with self-made clothing

Desmond COMPLETELY acts like a cat, yet hates cats. Hmm, I wonder why that is? ;)

Descole has sensitive eyes from wearing a mask with darkened lenses all the time. It took him ages to readjust to regular light when going as Desmond, and even then he’d occasionally still have trouble with harsh sunlight like in San Grio

Descole is FLEXIBLE. Like INHUMANLY FLEXIBLE TO THE POINT OF WEIRDNESS. He probably freaked out the Bostonius gang a few times on accident doing weird noodle stretches, honestly

Daytime niceties: tea. Anything else: the strongest coffee in existence. Listen, YOU try building a giant mech castle thing as fast as humanly possible without touching coffee once. …. Probably doesn’t really like coffee in terms of personal taste, though

Considering he isn’t fond of cats and also tamed wolves at some point, you’d think he’d be a dog person, but I honestly just don’t see him liking any type of pet. The best you’ll get from him is probably a pet plant like a cactus or a magnolia

Raymond was the first to point out the bread hair. Descole can’t look at baguettes without being reminded of it. After visiting Phong Gi, he can’t look at fruitcake without being reminded of his cologne. Both baguettes and fruitcake are completely ruined for him and he will refuse to eat them

Honestly… I’m unoriginal in the fact that I hc Raymond as Descole’s unofficial adopted dad but IT’S SO GOOD. Someone’s gotta be there to make sure Descole doesn’t go off the deep end (which I assume would be something like murder) and that someone is Raymond, and he is going to protect his little drama boy even if it means putting up with his nonsense most of the time

There’s definitely a creative streak in Descole somewhere, especially considering his whole theatrical aura and the fact that he wears a cloak thing on a daily basis. Actually, he seems more creative than scientific in general despite calling himself a scientist– I mean, look at his castle! And his mechs! And the Bostonius! If he didn’t care what they looked like he’d have just built them to do their function, but nope, he decided “I’m going to make this aesthetic as hell” and took the time to do that somehow

Specifically for the after-credits scene in Miracle Mask, I like to think that the reason Descole got dunked on after managing to dodge a barrage of bullets is because in that moment, he didn’t see the man that slaughtered his family and possibly other innocents for an insane cause– he saw his father. Of course, that mixup was swiftly corrected when he got a knee to the stomach :(

Sometimes I hc him with long hair (because long hair is pretty), and sometimes I hc him as having hair extensions for his Desmond guise or even just a curled wig. Speaking from my own experience, dealing with organic long hair is just a pain and a half especially when attempting to put on a wig, so… realistically he’d have short hair during the series for practical reasons. Post AL he probably grows it out, though

Doesn’t seem like the type to like eating things for the sake of eating them. Like yes he’ll eat because his body needs food to function, but that’s it. In addition, he’d probably only drink tea every day if he could get away with it

Doesn’t like to sleep. Case in point: nightmares. Pretty obvious why he’d have them due to all the loss and death he’s endured so far

So most people are pretty content with Descole just knowing how to play piano/organ/whatever from the get-go but… what if he only learned how to play in order to raise Ambrosia with the song keys? “So what is this stele supposed to be… what? Sheet music? Are you serious? I can’t play any instruments! … *sigh* Fine. Organ lessons it is.” Utter hilarity ensues >:)

Wow, I’m surprised I came up with as many “normal” hcs as I did considering I mostly specialize in AUs…. well, here you go anon, enjoy 💖

[zebraslovescupcakestoo]

Deviltown

An Obey Me! Fanfic with an @snowandseven OC and paired with Lucifer. Inspired by Beauty and the Beast’s scenes. You’ve been notified.

It was a typical Saturday in Devildom. The eternal night sky is slightly brighter during the day, the blood bats were 'cutely' screeching and Cerebus was very excited for walkies since he's been busy paroling the House of Lamentation's underground tomb. Accompanied with Beelzebub, whom he can handle Cerebus next to Lucifer, was the exchange student from the human realm, Valentine.

Deviltown, it's a quiet village - Every day, like the one before

They've stopped at the entrance of the Deviltown, which was the opposite side of Devildom's big city, was what you might called an old fashioned town. The buildings was like old peasant-like housing, brick walls, fairytale look a like, almost slightly before the Victorian style era began. Granted, there were some updated mechanics and technologies, but most were kept old fashioned charm. Valentine fell in love with this place due to being an 'old soul.' -no pun intended-  Whether he had an agenda or not, he'd come here for anything and re-enacted his fantasies of his 'Snow White' image. Valentine hopped down from Cerebus with his DeVil school bag, only exclusive for RAD students and specifically made for Valentine by Diavolo's request. Meaning Valentine's school bag was suitcase-like but turquoise coloured themed.

Deviltown, full of mythical people -

“Are you sure you can manage the tasks by yourself? You have quite a lot to cover and carry.” Beel said to him. Valentine smile and said with assurance. “I am fine and confident to carry the order. It is my duty and also part of an apology of a sort. I must at least show how appreciated you and your brothers that you've forgave, accepted as family and taught me what feeling are after what happened, my 'rebirth,' when my 'secret' revealed and my true motives are. I am determined to start over and gain your trust not as pawns or tools anymore, but as a family.” “Even though we're literally demons?” Beel asked. Val chuckled. “Of course! You've forgotten I was one too on the inside. I can still change, despite my actual age. Now, I must be going. I'll summon if I do indeed need of help. I shall make my best meals from the freshest- er... maybe I'll say it once I've made it. It will make you think of hunger more than it is already.” Thus Beel's stomach started to growl. “I think there's still something left from the fridge back home. I promise to make a feast fit for a king tonight if you can manage long enough!” Valentine thought of a quick strategy. If he can get Beelzebub to get away from the fresh market, he won't cause a scene to devour the entire produce sections. “... Alright. But will there be-”

“Sour raspberry pie? Yes and I can also make other goodies once I finished and- oh! He left already.” Beel had already left with Cerebus. Guess that a yes.

Valentine then started quest to search for his ingredients.

Waking up to say:

He was greeted by the town demon-folks. It was like any other trip, smile and be polite, but this time, he wanted to start practicing being a real, genuine person and not a mechanical doll. He learns a good handful to start on something easy like saying:

[DEMON FOLKS] : Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour!

He greeted them back. He realized that he felt a little heart warming that wasn't there before. It's not much, but it was new to him. It was nice!

There goes the baker with his tray, like always - The same old bread and rolls to sell

The first thing he needed was fresh bread rolls and more bread for breakfast tomorrow. The owner of the bakery was a kind ogre. He too has a family and his shop was operated like one. Maybe he can try learning a bit from them if he have that chance, like now.

Every morning just the same - Since the morning that we came - To this poor provincial town

Valentine decided to learn how he interacted with his loving wife and maybe he can do the same when the time will come when he can make a pact with Lucifer. After all, he wanted to be more genuine when he says he does love him. "Good Morning, Valentine! Grocery shoppin' again for the lords?" The ogre baker asked Valentine. “Indeed, but I've decided to make tonight's meal a special treat. I would need...”

Valentine carefully chose the baked goods and he place them in his RAD suitcase. “Our generous lord Diavolo had blessed me with this lovely suitcase and even more is that one of my pact mate, Satan, had placed a special spell on it so that I can carry more than it looks.” The baker was impressed. “I'm impressed! I must say that if that involved magic as powerful as his, you're quite a human! Not many can make pacts from them, let alone being alive for so long.” Valentine felt a bit proud. For someone who's emotions are almost non-existence, the 'feelings' are new to him. Thus, he done his best by learning more and understand what the were. “Thank you for the compliment.” That was the supposed reply, he guessed. Before he asked the baker about his relationship advice, he started shouting in the kitchen, presumably the wife, something about the baguettes. Valentine knows that it's just the language barrier and it wasn't too difficult making out what they were REALLY saying, but it sounded like they were arguing. (But not really!) 'This must be one of those lover's quarrels situation that I've heard about.' He thought. Maybe some other time and leaves for the next item quest. [DEMON FOLKS]: Look there he goes, that boy is strange, no question.

Valentine continue to search for his ingredients. He was in luck for this time of year in Devildom, because it's their harvest season and there are so many delicacies and special imports from the human and celestial realm. Thanks to his brilliant, quick learning mind and his very good memory, he knew exactly what to look for AND finds items his pact mates been trying getting their hands on. Normally, his 'old' self would think this is for keeping them happy just to be pawns, but from now on, he must try to be like a family member.

Dazed and distracted, can't you tell?

He found a good amount of meats such as the FirePhoenix meat, MadCow hamburgs and steaks, FilthyPig pork chops and his Lucifer's favorite, the HellFurry Peacock's pack fit for a celebration dinner. (Or in this case, a 'modest' feast made for a future Demon king's coronation.) He got a fair amount in wrapped plastic. Cause it's for sanitary reasons, even in literal hell.

Never part of any crowd - 'Cause his head's up on some cloud

He then moved on to the next selling stand where they sell a fair amount of human and Celestial goods. The first ones that he immediately noticed was ramen noodles. Mammon and Leviathan’s favorite for on the go or gaming. He remembers the first time he saw this in his last cycle of 'rebirth.' It was in his human realm and he was catching up to the latest youth trends and he was offered a cup. 'You can now just add boiling water and it's done? What kind of magic is this? Is there really no time nowadays to even prep the meals?' Was his first reaction and to him, it's a descent food but not as good as home cook ones he's best at. Would you like to know how mind blown when one time he made a thanksgiving feasts one time to his previous roommates and they were in disbelief when he said it's just a 'normal' dinner?

The other story about it was when he eats it again, this time with 'THE' Mammon, he was taken aback when he devoured it like a beast with no manner. Maybe due to the fact that they were in Mammon's room and not at the dinner table that he think good manners doesn't apply. Valentine did his best, at the time, to show he's 'relate-able' by sipping the broth from his cup. Mammon noticed him and it started off their friendship on good terms. Looking back, deep down Mammon's a good guy and well, he IS his first pact in order for him to gain power... He must at least show him that he's sorry for using him as a tool. Maybe later he can help him with clearing his debt a little or get him off the hook from Lucifer... just once if it's minor.

He got the human world of chicken and beef flavored ramens for Mammon and the Shrimp flavored ones for Leviathan.

No denying he's a funny boy, that Val.

He then stopped to see the imported figurines called 'anime' as they called it. Val was thinking 'first it's animation, then cartoons and now anime?' He thought of Leviathan, his second pact. At first he thought that he was just a shut-in otaku, but as time goes on, he felt he can relate to him. He was scared of people hurting him. He can't understand what 'normal' humans do or 'normies' does. He is passionate on things he's very interested in like TSL and Rurui-chan. He did helped him out sometimes when fixing his uniform one time due to his cosplays and sewing.

He saw some limited key sets of the latest Rurui-can collectables and decided to buy the one that had his color themed and his. 'Maybe he'll like me more if I show this as 'friendship phone straps' and make most out of that gaming app Majolish.'

Bonjour! - Good day! - How is your family?

He searched all over the fresh produce market for vegetables, fruits and exotic herbs. He was thankful that Beelzebub was NOT with him at the moment and his charm spell has cast him away. Otherwise, there will be a concerning letter along another separate big grocery bill and that would make his Lucifer stressed.

He was his third and quite a formidable power house. Finding out his weakness was not so hard and his raw strength does come in handy at times like lifting the couch with one hand while eating a cucumber sandwich in the other.

But what he admire and now values in Beel the most was his kindness. Sure, he does act dangerously ferocious when he was denied food one too many times, but for his family especially for his twin, he would do anything for them. Valentine can learn a thing or two from him.

He already knew Sour Raspberry pies will be another easy favorites, so he made sure that he bought plenty for pies and at least one of them for the others.

Now as for the other twin and the seventh born, Belphegor, he was the one who revealed his 'rebirth' ability to others when he was killed again. To his surprise, he came back to life in hours rather in years unlike the human realm. Must be the realm's magic or something cause he's certainly sure it ain't from his heritage. Belphie was the one who made him confess everything, his true plans, his back story and his reason why he needed power. He thought that at the moment he was going to be kicked out and send back. But instead, they forgave him, said that they were literal demons to each other and that they wanted to start over again with him but be more honest and true.

Belphegor was probably the one who he can be more open and honest with himself when talking afterwards. Asides back rubs and talking about the stars, he does seems like a likeable character and he does care. Like himself, he tries to make amends for his big brothers from his mistakes.  

He saw some silky fabrics with night star patterns that reminded him of his favorite sleeping spot, the Planetarium. Maybe he can get some to make a pillow cover for him whenever he changes and washes out the laundry for bed sheets.

Bonjour! - Good day! - How is your wife?

He then came across the beauty sections where perfumes, jewelries, clothing, you name it is here. Too bad Asmodeous is being help up for catching up his neglected homework. He heard him dramatically sobbing from the other room of how 'cruel' it was for him being held up especially for today when fall fashion had just arrived today and that he'd always be the first in line.

I need six rotten eggs! - That's too expensive!

Asmodeous was the fourth he made pact with and to be fair, it was like they're staring at their own reflections of outer beauty wise. Both of them are beautiful in their characteristic ways such as Asmo is more self-care conscious while Val is more natural. They both shared much in common such as fashion statements, jewelries, skin care, Lucifer, ect...

While Asmo is narcissistic most of the time, he does think about others and wanted to help them as much as he can. One time he cut his finger and when Asmo saw it, he immediately took out the first aid kit.

Valentine decided to at least buy a beautiful beige scarf and a new hand lotion from the human world that's one of his favorite beauty lines.

There must be more than this provincial life!

He then hopped back on a black hellhorse royal carriages that was still new from the handle like it was a free ride during it's time. He was almost done with the shopping and he got most of the brother's favorites. He was in a trance of understanding what emotions are. He already knew what fear is, more than he can remembered. He knew, in others, how they acted with their emotions and their reactions. But he still haven't felt emotions himself until he discovered them during these months whenever he interacted and developed his relations with the brothers. Happiness, sadness, anger, laughter, embarrassment, envy, and others he had seen or heard before. It felt so new to him when he realized that for the first time in what seems forever, he laughed when there was that pillow fights saga and just last night when he had to confess about everything, he cried.

But most importantly, he started to develop something he can't quite describe yet...   He decided to think about it later and hops off the carriage when they've passed at the bookstore where Satan gets his favorites and hard to get books. It's probably the only and closest bookstore in Devildom to get his books. [DEMON FOLKS] Look there he goes, that boy is so peculiar - I wonder if he's feeling well

What he finds attractive in Satan was his vastly knowledge on so many subjects. Like he, Valentine's no slouch when he shows his knowledge. (He lived for almost two centuries.) They can talked for hours on so many topics and they're quite close apart when it comes to the subject of Lucifer. He knows that Satan's power alone is powerful enough to make anyone quiver in fear, but he was also created from Lucifer's anger before he was casted out from heaven. Not to mention Lucifer was a former arc angel and to be honest: He's got that temper that needs to be kept in check unlike Lucifer.

None the less, he is still a valuable person that he was glad to make a pact after that trip to London for the swap curse saga. He picked up Satan's weekly orders and also he picked up a fairytale book for another report. 'Beauty and the Beast.' He read this story a few times before, remembered how both the girl and the Beast learned to love each other. Maybe he can learn too if he tried harder? He also picked up 'The little mermaid' too. For 'human lessons' reasons.

With a dreamy, far-off look and his nose stuck in a book - What a puzzle to the rest of us is Valentine

When he got out of the store, he saw a Hellish black horse that had blue flames as his mane and tail. The creature, like every others, felt a slight charm from Valentine. He took this opportunity to practice a bit of what it called 'kindness' by taking out his 'Beauty and the Beast' book and shows it to the beautifully yet terrifying creature. He then sings gently a bit to help it calm down. [VALENTINE]: Oh, isn't this amazing? It's my favorite part because you'll see - Here's where we meet Prince Charming but we won't discover that it's him till chapter three!

The Hellish black horse then rubs his cheeks with Valentine's as affection. "You're very welcome!" He then realized that he was then surrounded by a few other small street creatures and they were eyeing on him. If he doesn't ditch them soon, he'll get more than just a 'warning' from Lucifer when he sung while cleaning near open windows and not realizing there were Hellbats and Hellbirds flew in. (Though he admitted he finds his frowning face attractive when scolded.) So he the skedaddle over to the next stop. [GARGOYLE WOMAN]: Now it's no wonder that Asmodeous is worried, His looks have got no parallel.

He blushed at this felling what he recalled embarrassment. He halted when he arrived at one of his favorite clothing shop in Devildom. It's the only one that has those old vintage tuxedos and vests made for dukes and 18th centuries royalties. 'I guess I can look for a little bit before I return home.' He thought of himself.

[BUG CREATURE SHOPKEEPER]: But behind that fair façade, I'm afraid he's rather odd - Very diff'rent from the rest of us.

If you think Valentine's had a minor spell from his 'charms' for the demon lords alone, you might be mistaken when there's other powerful demons who wants to make a pact with him and we're not talking about Diavolo or Barbatos here.

[DEMON FOLKS]: He's nothing like the rest of us. Yes, diff'rent from the rest of us is Val!

In the Blood square of the town, there are two powerful demons in their own rights. They were from a neighboring kingdom, who's under the demon king's control, are there for their day off. One of them had a particular goal of meeting Valentine.

There was one demon who's name is Giovanni The Hellian. He's a high ranking demon for his strength, his manly appearance, his legendary rivalry against Beelzebub's sports team, but most importantly, he is very prideful. (In other words, he's the Devildom's version of Gaston from Beauty and the Beast.) He had red hair fairly long like Asmo's but slid back, his attire is something similar to a high school student for today. He threw a fireball towards a black horned goose that flew over them. It hit the poor creature and it hit the ground dead. “Wow! You didn't miss a shot, Giovanni! You're one the greatest hunter in the whole Devildom! I bet you'll be summoned by prince Diavolo one of these days for one of his hunting trips.” The other one was a fairly strong demon named Kiru, he was a male Incubus with some envy. He's got that bowl cut, brown hair and he wore the same team jacket as his friend does. He is most likely the support type. “ I know. I will get what I always want.” Giovanni boasted. “No beast alive stands a chance against you, ha ha! and no Incubus girl, for that matter.” Kiru replies as he took the goose in his bag for supper later. “It's true, Kiru, but I've got my sight set on that one in particular!” He pointed out at Valentine who he just exited the shop. “You mean the exchange human student by Diavolo himself?” Kiru questioned his friend's taste. “He's the one, the lucky boy I'm going to make a Formal pact with!” Giovanni boasted with pride. “But he's-” “The most beautiful boy in centuries I've lived through!” Giovanni cuts him. Kiru tried to tell him about Val, but Gio wasn't listening. “I know, but-” “That makes him the best. And don't I deserve the best?” Gio picks him up from his jacket's collar and look dead in the eye. Kiru fussed with it. “But of course! I mean, you do! But I-” He then drops him. [GIOVANNI]: “Right from the moment when I met him, saw him - I said he's gorgeous and I fell. Here in town there's only he - Who is beautiful as me. So I'm making plans to woo and pact with Val.”

Giovanni wanted Valentine more than just a simple pact, he wanted him to make an OFFICIAL demonic pact. The only difference is that a regular pact can easily be removed once a deal is set or done. An Demonic pact is more like a marriage bond. It's more 'official' and gives more power for the demon.

Giovanni only saw him three times at events prior to today. The first was at a Devil-ball game, where his team was up against Beelzebub's. Valentine was in the crowd along with the other seven demon lords. His feminine-like beauty had captured his attention. The second was on another sparring competitions where high ranking demons, including the seven lords themselves, practices and compete for top spots. The third one was at Diavolo's party where Valentine had changed his appearance to fit in with other demons. He almost ask him for a dance until Lucifer took him away from him. Gio wouldn't let that glare from Lucifer that night to keep him away from Valentine. He 'marched' straight to Valentine who's just strolling into the further end of the town, presumably to return to the House of Lamentation. Whenever Giovanni wanted something, he takes it. No compromise. [FEMALE CHEERLEADING INCUBUSES] Look there he goes. Isn't he dreamy? Monsieur Giovanni, Oh! he's so cute! Be still my heart. I'm hardly breathing! He's such a tall, red, strong and handsome brute! [Witch Woman:] Bonjour! [Giovanni:] Pardon [Beauty incubus:] Good day! [Clown Woman 2:] Mais oui! [Undead Woman:] You call this bacon? [Werewolf Woman:] What lovely grapes! [Vampire Man:] Some cheese? [Ghost Woman:] Ten yards! [Cat Man:] One pound.

Unfortunately, the busy hour of the demon folks in the town residence had commence their daily routines. They unknowingly prevented him to reach Valentine who he was walking away from them.

[Giovanni:] Excuse me! Please let me through! [Vampire Cheese merchant:] I'll get the knife [Undead Woman:] This bread - [Werewolf Woman:] Those fish - [Witch Woman:] It's stale! [Clown Woman:] They smell! [Ogre Men:] Madame's mistaken. [Ogre Women:] Well, maybe so. [Demon folks:] Good morning! Oh, good morning!

Back on Valentine, he looked around to see several interactions between the demon town folks. Some were happy, upset, angry and more. He knew beforehand what they were, but he still haven't learn how and why. Which was new and exiting to him. [VALENTINE]: There must be more than my provincial life!

Eventually, Giovanni had catch up to him.

[GIOVANNI]: Just watch, I'm going to make Valentine a pact!

Gio had placed a hand on Valentine's shoulder and the human looked back at the demon. Val recognized the face before but he was clueless on who he was. “My name is Giovanni The Hellian. You might have heard of me before, haven't you? Ha! Well, as usual, I'm full of surprises for anyone.” Poor Val was like 'Have we really met before?'

[DEMON TOWNSFOLK]: Look there he goes! The boy is strange but special. A most peculiar gentlemen! It's a pity and a sin - he doesn't quite fit in.

Giovanni continues to 'flirt' by bragging himself even more, unknowingly that Valentine's still doesn't know him asides his name. “You know, my little Valentine, there's not a demon in all of the Devildom's united kingdoms who wouldn't LOVE to be in your shoes. This is the day-” Gio had noticed he looked at the widow reflection of himself and just wiped something on one of his sharp teeth with  his triangular tong. “Ah, ahem! THIS is the day where all of your hearts desires comes true.” Valentine might not be a social butterfly, but he knows how narcissistic characters can be. (He ought to know, he was born from one.) “What do you know about my desires? Do you know me well enough about my life before I live here?” Does this demon knew about his mother who she's rumored to be a very legendary, powerful witch? Who she's so powerful that almost every demon shuttered at her very name? Whom she had an obsession of dominance and control over him and tries to break him?

“I know plenty! Picture this!” Giovanni then traps Valentine between himself and the wall. “Once I've risen up and be acknowledged by future Demon King Diavolo, we will live in a modern luxury apartment with all the latest gadgets and clothing. My latest kills roasting in a white, electronic, up to date kitchen that does all the cooking and my beautiful little human, massaging my horns and wings. We'll also have beautiful incubuses to satisfy our needs, so I don't mind if you wanted some fun on the side. I'll make sure we'll have big beds to fit all of us.”

“For you and them?” Valentine 'innocently' asked. Does he think he KNOWS Valentine that well?! “Ha! Not just them but also you! Don't worry, I'll make sure you'll be the only one sleeping in my arms.” Valentine then slides underneath his barring arms. “Thank you for the invite, but your picture and mine are very different paintings.” Giovanni doesn't let him go. He grabbed Valentine's wrist with a bit of force. “Make a formal pact with me, Valentine. Only you can help me.” Val tried to pull away from him. “I'm sorry but no, I want to be with the one I love, not just for status or image alone.”

Giovanni laughed “Love? Ha! Don't be ridiculous! I like my human more obedient, not-” His eyes widen as to someone who was standing behind Valentine. He recognized this menacing aura. “Didn't you heard what our human said? He's not interested making a pact with you.” He then saw red gloves freeing his wrist and he held it up while the other one covered his left torso. “Lucifer...” Valentine whispered with a blush when he looked up to him. “I suggest you leave him be if you want to keep your current status and have a chance to be promoted by Lord Diavolo himself.” Giovanni tsked and then leaves them, cussing mumbling 'freaks.'

“Are you alright? Have he done anything else to harm you?” Lucifer's attention is now on Valentine. “Yes, I'm fine. He really was a brainless boar.” Val responded. He then felt a hand brushed through his long hair and then lips on his fore head. His cheeks heated up. Lucifer chuckled. “My words exactly.” Valentine then looked down. “I... I know that I've wronged you and your brothers with pacts that I made prior to last night's confession. I really mean it when I said that I will change and... I DO want to be with someone I love. I can't stand being with someone who's just wants me as a possession and not as an only partner for life!” That makes Lucifer smiled. “Then you'll only need to prove it yourself if you ever want it really bad. If you can manage to make amends with my brothers, I will forgive you and maybe, we can make a pact. But my standards are normally high, are you sure you want that?” Valentine looked up straight in Lucifer's red eyes and nodded. “Good. Now, how about we both take quality time at the nearest cafe? I want to know a bit more about your... 'early' life in details. The others can wait for a bit.” Valentine then accepted Lucifer's invitation without hesitation. Lucifer chuckled as both of his left wings covered Valentine and pulls him closer to him. “That's what I like to hear. Now, stay close to me. I don't want you to be with another demon apart from me and my brothers, is that understood?”

[DEMON TOWNSFOLK]:'Cause he really is a funny boy. A beauty but a funny boy. He really is a funny boy. That Val! (Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour!)

-----

Yeah, this is a different Gaming AU that I’ve played on my phone and I really liked @snowandseven‘s OC and story arcs.

Obey Me! Game belongs to Solomare. OC belongs to @snowandseven

[rwby-nwbe]

Just Finished RWBY Volume 2...

...and HOLY HECK IT GOT BETTER.

[Warning: Spoilers for Volume 2 and Long Post.]

New antagonists! More huntsman action! More characters and interactions! And the fights, tho. THE FIGHTS!

*Ahem* Okay, clearly I just need to start from the beginning...

Episode 1

We start the new season by being reintroduced to our new antagonists, Emerald Sustrai and Mercury Black. They may be villains, but they're also obviously teens (Mercury radiates prick energy) and they're dynamic is entertaining. Also, RIP Tukson, he seemed like a nice dude...

We then cut back to Team RWBY and JNPR, who are apparently on break at the moment. It's also nice to see Sun again, and we also get to meet Neptune. Anyways, someone throws a pie in Weiss face, and you know what that means...

FOOD FIGHT!!!

Seriously, THESE KIDS ARE CRAZY. Ruby can apparently surf on lunch trays! Weiss used ketchup and a freakin' swordfish like Myrtenaster! Blake used baguettes and a sausage link like Gambol Shroud! Freakin' YANG was punching things with TURKEY! JAUNE... threw a melon, that was cool; nice to see that he's losing the noodleness of his body. NORA RIPPED OUT A PIPE, STUFFED IT TO A MELON, AND CALLED IT MAGNHILD! Note to self: never challenge Pyrrha to a fight near a vending machine (or anytime, really). Ren can kick WATERMELONS, and fight with LEEKS. HOW CAN THEY EVEN DIGEST ALL THAT FOOD!?

RIP Neptune's hair though, I hear grape is hard to wash out...

Then we cut back to the White Fang and Torchwick, who are then met with Mercury, Emerald, and later the great Cinder Fall herself. I'll admit, Mercury's funny but a jerk, and Emerald... I'm pretty sure I was mentally screaming "YOU'RE BEING MANIPULATED" when I saw her and Cinder. First she doesn't give Emerald a hug, then she tells her to not think and just obey? RED FLAGS. RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE.

Oh, speaking of Cinder, while she does radiate boss energy, I'm glad that I don't personally like her. I don't know what it is, but it might be the fact that she's treating everyone else like her pawns (and considering she used a chess piece later in this volume, I wouldn't be surprised). I mean, good villain, but like any good villain, I want her to get roasted, though that might not work given her Semblance.

Also, Roman Torchwick, you beautiful jerk, never change. I love ya, but I also love seeing you get dragged, which is what Emerald did to you at the end of this. Yep, I'm on board for this season!

Also, the new opening. I thought nothing could top "This Will Be The Day." I was wrong. Haven't listened to all of it yet, but "Time To Say Goodbye" SLAPS.

Episode 2

So, several things. There's board games, insert Yu-Gi-Oh reference here... Yang has too much power. Also, if I remember the lingo right, then this is also the episode where the White Rose shippers got crumbs, the White Knight shippers were once again denied, and where the Iceberg shippers were born (while the rest of us were titling our heads in confusion with Jaune). Jaune continues to be a social dork (what's with the blonde boys blowing Blake's secret? Don't think I've forgotten about Sun...). Blake is being consumed with the burden of RESPONSIBILITY. I feel that Blake. Oh, and the ending...

Why do out villains have to be clever enough to infiltrate the actual school!? And Weiss' "We're doomed." I hope that's not secret foreshadowing...

Episode 3

Jaune fails yet again at wooing Weiss (at least Yang comforts him at the end), and the gang begins their espionage. We meet Penny again, Weiss deals with her past, albeit briefly, and Penny... oh boy. She's hiding something, and the hiccups make it obvious. What could it possibly- oh...

Episode 4

Most of us had our suspicions, what with Penny's awkward demeanor and ludicrous super strength, but yep, she's a robot! Aw, get yourself a real one like Ruby. Oh, and Neptune's useless with Yang around. Speaking of, HEY, good to see you again, Junior! So Blake and Sun intercept the White Fang rally and... oh fudge they got giant robots. BAIL! We also get to see Neptune's weapon and Sun's semblance (before they nope off the road and leave the rest of the fighting to RWBY, while they go off and get ramen, the jerks...). Also, nice to see that they have team attack names (I believe some of them double as ship names), and this is where we get to meet the Ice Cream Queen Neopolitan (not to be confused with the now officially dubbed Ice Queen Weiss Schnee. If even the villains are calling you that, then congrats, you have a new title)! Neo then proceeds to give them the slip, and I personally believe that Yang only disliked Weiss' pun because it highlighted her failure.

C'mon Yang, at least she's TRYING!

Episode 5

Pyrrha is a combat queen. 'Nuff said. Suck it, CRDL.

Oh no. Mercury is both a smart aleck AND smart. This will not end well.

Blake, take a break. No, seriously, working yourself to death just because you think you can doesn't mean you should. You will only feel worse. TAKE A BREAK.

Well Jaune, mission failed. You'll get her next time.

Pyrrha Nikos. Sweetie. We're talking about Jaune Arc here. He's not gonna get the hints you're dropping unless that "hint" is a full blown irrefutable confession so obvious that even he can't screw it up. I know you want to help him because you like him (and yes, even like like him), but it's clear Weiss isn't interested, at least not now. Capitalize on that!

And our villain group continues to be dastardly. *Chuckles* We're in danger.

Episode 6

The dance draws near, and it seems that both Blake AND Jaune could use a pep talk!

Poor Blake. It appears your faunus trait makes you more cat-like than just the ears.

Also, poor Ren. He just wants a nice bath, but alas, the power of bromance.

Oof, tough love from Yang. Pretty good flashback, though. Also, Pyrrha, your selfless nature will be your undoing, listen to Nora.

...oh God, if I'm saying "listen to Nora" when the world isn't ending, we might ACTUALLY be in danger.

Aw, the dance looks fun. Poor Jaune, tho. Don't worry, at least Yang, Blake, and Sun are having a good time (and this is the part where I realize I'm becoming a SunnyBee shipper, crap). Poor Ruby, having to wear heels. Don't worry, Ozpin will keep you company.

Oh crap, the villain kids are here! What are you up to!?

Episode 7

This one gets the runner up for my favorite episode. Alternatively, I give it the title "Team Leaders Know What's Up."

Jaune, you may be a dumbass, but you're the rare "Surprisingly Competent Dumbass With A Heart Of Gold," and you get my respect for that. Being socially awkward with Ruby? Comedy gold. Putting things into perspective for Neptune? Props, my dude. Comforting Pyrrha? Friendship goals (even though it should be more than friendship goals, but hey, you put on the dress, I'll give you that). Nice dance moves, by the way, JNPR.

As for Ruby... drinking Jaune's punch? Iconic. Noticing Cinder sneaking away? Nice. Fighting her in heels of all things? You, my dear red reaper, are on another level. A shame that Ironwood couldn't get there faster and that Cinder had to bail, but oh well.

Also: Penny continues to be heckin' adorable. I will never NOT stan.

Episode 8

HEAR YE, HEAR YE, THE NOBLE DOG ZWEI HAS GRACED US WITH HIS ADORABLE PRESENCE. Tremble before his ability to fit in boxes and melt Weiss' heart. Oh, and RWBY gets exposed to Ozpin, but surprise! Even Ozpin doesn't have to play by the rules! Though that could get him in trouble with Ironwood later...

Why does this show keep showing me characters that I want to get to know better in record time!? Team CFVY looks so interesting, and it's nice to see Velvet again! Ooh, I hope we see them more later...

Also, Professor Oobleck, I know we saw a bit of you in Volume 1, and I wish we got to know you better. You seem delightful.

Episode 9

Okay, my previous statement of DOCTOR Oobleck still stands. I love this chaotic fast man.

He's both funny AND deep! His reaction to Zwei? Comedy gold! Him picking apart RWBY's motives and the Grimm? Disturbingly thought provoking, but enjoyable. Also, Ruby, you're great, but you're not entirely a genius, you're just a little bit lucky.

In conclusion: there are a lot of characters to stan in RWBY. Dr. Oobleck is one of them.

Episode 10

We learn about WBY's motivations, now excuse me while I go crying in the club right now.

OH NO, RUBY GOT KIDNAPPED! AND SHE DOESN'T HAVE HER SCYTHE! FRICK, it's a mindset kind of deal! Without her scythe, she thinks she's useless! Oh, and Roman's there too, that's not good.

...that is REALLY not good, Oobleck! Get down there, all of you! Wait, is your thermos... your WEAPON!? HOW THE FU-

(Sidenote, I looked up the name, since most weapons have them and I'm impatient for them getting name dropped. "Antiquity's Roast," eh? Fitting...)

Episode 11

So... this episode.

Poor Ruby. She failed to fight back, she almost ran away but then it turns out Melodic Cudgel is also a GRAPPLING HOOK. Thank god Yang and company finally busted their way in.

...why are Roman and the White Fang going kamikaze with those train car bombs? Oh right, the Grimm. Crap, that ain't good.

Ah, Oobleck. You may have accidentally repeated Ruby's line, but a swig of your thermos/club/flamethrower and then using it to bat Zwei into a cannonball of death redeemed you!

So Neo's back. She's skilled, sassy, has something going on with her eyes... Oh boy, Yang's getting outclassed by a pipsqueak. That's gotta suck.

Does every faunus (baring Blake, Sun, etc.) hate the SDC? Seriously Weiss, what did your father DO!?

Roman, do not get flirty with Blake. Junior tried something similar with Yang way back in the Yellow Trailer, and he got socked in the face. You deserve that kick in the head.

Oh look, Yang's mom is here! Nice, now Neo can't kill her (don't you dare, you little ice cream, I swear...). Oh. OH. That's a big sword. Yeah, ya better run, Neo. You ain't winnin' this fight. Great, now I want to know what Yang's mom's deal is. Figures she just warped away afterwards...

And now the Grimm are above ground. Yeah, seems like a good time for the season finale.

Episode 12

Now THIS is my favorite episode.

Look at that, Jaune's getting good instincts! And it's nice that Team JNPR was able to help RWBY. Also nice that Jaune can actually kill a Grimm now. Good job, man. You earned Pyrrha's smile of approval.

As much as I'm wary of the antagonist trio, I'll admit, they can fight good. Especially Emerald, her guns are sick. Why am I warming up to her so fast? What is this magic!?

...CFVY. CFVY. WHY ARE Y'ALL SO BADASS? Seriously, Yatsuhashi's carying an entire sword and a half. Fox just pulled a Ren and caused a Grimm to explode. Coco... God, Coco- WHY DOES RUBY HAVE SO MANY QUEENS, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!?

"You just destroyed my favorite clothing store. Prepare to die."

I-FREAKING-CONIC!

And she just murders Grimm with a BRIEFCASE. That turns into a GATTLING GUN. BECAUSE OF COURSE IT'S ALSO A GUN. (BTW, Gianduja is a really cool name for it.)

And now I want to know Velvet's weapon! It doesn't look like much now, but apparently it took a semester to build. And we know that Velvet can fight based on what we saw with her and Fox, so how does she ADD to that!?

THAT TRACK IN THE BACKGROUND, TOO! "CAFFEINE~" HELL YEAH!!!

Ooh, Port and Oobleck teamup! Oh no... THE GLYNDA IS MAD PEOPLE. I REPEAT, THE GLYNDA IS MAD! SHE HAS NO PATIENCE FOR YOUR GRIMM BS!!!

Welp, Roman got handled, though I doubt it's for long... Yay, RWBY finally gets a break! Oh boy, trouble brewing between Ozpin and Ironwood, that ain't good.

...bull man's back. Uh, guys, Adam's back! And he's helping the bad guys! THIS IS REALLY NOT GOOD.

...oh, so your name is Raven? And that's what you look like under the mask. There's the resemblance... Oh boy, where have you been all of Yang's life?

...

So all in all, Volume 2 was even better than Volume 1, in my opinion. It's like they took the first volume and amped it up to 11. Longer runtimes, great comedy, great action sequences, great CHARACTERS. It's just a complete trip! 10/10, would ride again. Welp, it's getting late, so I can't immediately start Volume 3. But what Volume 2 gave us is good enough to tide me over.

...I am so glad I started this series. Well, this is goodbye for now. Cheers, internet!

-Mathewton, the RWBY Newbie (22 March 2020)

[smokingtomas]

Shokugeki no Soma: The Next Gen (PART 2)

Part 1 // (Disclaimer: Pictures are made with Picrew)

Isami Aldini - Mito Ikumi

Sota Enrico Aldini ♂

The one who rebuilt Don RS into an empire when it was a mess after Ikumi graduated. Since Ikumi has been preparing him for this his whole life, Donburi becomes Sota’s specialty.

Experiments with a lot of Southeast Asian flavors into his donburi such as salted egg, kaffir lime, and bird’s eye chili.

Ironically, unlike his twin sister, doesn’t take spicy food too well-- if too much chili is used, would sweat endlessly, tongue would swell, so he once paid Yukihira Jin to be his taste tester and set his heat to a perfect standard.

The first Don RS member ever to make it into Elite Ten. Boy makes history, and both parents proud.

Is a serious guy most of the time and don’t get most of Isami’s dad jokes, but when he starts teasing his twin sister, Sota can’t help but be amused.

Sora Erica Aldini ♀

Isami’s little princess with makeup and cute designer skirts, but could kick assholes in the shin if they try to put a finger on her like Ikumi.

Is Hayama Kana’s best friend, partner-in-crime, ride-or-die.

Started cooking with Italian food, but as she experimented more, she fell in love with Mexican food which became her specialty.

Unlike her twin brother Sota, Sora can take extreme heat. Always add more chili to her Korean spicy noodle, and could last without a drink in between.

Besides cooking, sports also have always been in her interest. Sora joined a local karate club and always practice after school.

Tsukasa Eishi - Kobayashi Rindou

Tsukasa Oda ♂

Loves spending time with Uncle Kuga and thanks to him, he fell in love with the art of dim sum and found that his fingers are keen to craft beautiful dumplings.

Like Eishi, Oda is a true perfectionist. Has a very high standard and treat his cooking like a work of art, but does take a leap of faith every now and then.

Though he only takes risks during practice so if it doesn't pay off, no soul would ever find out his failure.

His dumplings are too pretty to eat because he can create it into any shapes such as flamingo, unicorn, roses, etc. That's why everyone called him 'The Magic Fingers'.

Actually hates French cooking. Oda thinks it's way too strict and stressful. Is also terrified with beasts Rindou brings home to cook.

But he will always be Mama's boy and will always try to impress Rindou with his food.

Marco Aldini, the art lover, is a fan of his work (also thinks Oda is a stud).

Isshiki Satoshi - Kinokuni Nene

Kinokuni Tsuki ♀

Although taking most of Nene’s features, Tsuki has her father’s big-dick, the life of a party kind of energy… times two.

It surprises everyone in the Polar Star Dorm how the girl parties like an animal until 3 am with lots Aunt Ryoko’s regular supply of rice juice, but could get up to garden at 7 am as if she’s been sleeping like a baby.

Dyes her hair every two weeks. Mostly in similar shades, but she needs a lot of dynamic and changes in her life in order to function.

Like Isshiki, Tsuki only cooks with local, homegrown ingredients. From starch to herbs, she would make no exception. She always says this is why she has a lot of energy.

Her favorite ingredient is potato. Tsuki knows all things potato-- their kinds, how they are grown, and 100+ ways to cook it.

Nene’s cold soba noodles > everything else.

Marui Zenji - Yoshino Yuki

Marui Yuriko ♀

Daddy’s little genius. Interested in the science behind baking at first, which became her specialty in a blink. Yuriko bakes bread, cupcakes, cookies, pretty pastries, pies, you name it all. PSD always has the best-smelling dorm because of her.

Has Zenji’s eyesight, but Yuki thinks glasses are outdated, so she convinced Yuriko to put on contact lenses.

She and Tsuki’s girly sleepover routines include dyeing each other’s hair or drawing cute temporary tattoos on each other.

If somebody asks her what would go great with her baked goods, she would always answer, “Tea… Well, figuratively speaking.”

Being an observer that she is, Yuriko knows almost everybody’s business without having to ask. She knows Jin once made out with Sora, or that secret fling between Alicia and Sota.

Actually the first person to realize that Marco is gay and attracted to Jin. She confronted him, but would never be a jerk to out him to the world.

She never actually spill the tea to anyone beside Zenji (definitely won’t tell Yuki since she’d be telling everyone). Because at some point, she knew she had to let it out of her chest, and her father’s response would most likely be, “Whose son is this Sota guy again?”

Ibusaki Shun - Sakaki Ryoko

Ibusaki Baltasar Abel ♂

Since both Ryoko and Shun agreed to raise their son with faith, Abel grew up as a Christian. He won’t call himself a religious person, but at least he goes to church every Sunday and prays mindfully before he eats and sleeps.

Knows how to smoke ingredients as a way to preserve them, but is more obsessed with fermenting food and can make pickles out of everything. Abel also makes his own yeast which Yuriko always uses for her baked goods.

Along with Yuriko and Tsuki, they sell Polar Star Dorm homegrown and homemade products like vegetables, eggs, fresh baguettes, and his signature kimchi online which keeps their dorm nice and well-taken care of. Totsuki members get discounts, obviously.

Tries to keep his crush on Sora Aldini under the radar, but his dorm members think it’s pretty obvious mainly because they found his unsent love letters.

Surprisingly gets along with Kurokiba Athena and bonds over their love for Iron Maiden.

Edited on 03/06/2019: Apparently, @yourmoontothenightsky‘s Yuki and Marui fanchild is also named Marui Michiko, so since I’m late to the party (and frankly had poor researching skill), had to tweak her name and a bit of her look. Thank you for personally messaging me and reminds me so nicely <3

[masterweaverx]

The Brunswick Blooper Reel

“I’m not useless!” Maria snapped, waving off Oscar as she turned around. “I’m just a little hard of hearing. And blind without my eyes. And I have a chronic case of arthritis.”

Oscar blinked, staring at her. As she went on, though, a disbelieving grin formed on his face.

“In fact, it might be osteoporosis. And don’t get me started on the menopause! Actually,” Maria mused thoughtfully, “I might have Alzheimer's too, come to think of it, I don’t remember. Who are all you people again?”

By this point Oscar was hiding his laughter behind a glove. The others, just off screen, were not so discrete.

“That bastard!” Yang stepped forward angrily, pointing a demanding finger. “Bring him back!”

“I can’t!” Oscar cried furtively. “It’s not like before, it’s like he’s locked himself deep inside his head! My head? Oh, I hate this!”

“Actually I just went down to the bakery,” Ozpin explained, walking onto the scene with a wide grin. “Apology cookies anyone?”

A series of groans (and scattered laughter) went up, the annoyed director calling for a cut. Ruby eyed the bag in his hand. “You did get strawberry scones, right?”

“Like I would forget them.”

“Sweet!”

The door to the Brunswick farms was locked shut. And then--

*THWACK*

“Ow! F--sh--raaaaarg...”

“Oh wow,” came Ruby’s voice, “that’s one tough door. We did unlock it for this shot, right?”

“I’d be a little more worried about him,” Blake replied. “You alright there?”

Qrow groaned. “Medic....”

“What do you think?” Blake asked seriously.

Ruby solemnly shook her head. “I don’t know. Something doesn’t feel right--”

A shriek came from upstairs--

“Weiss!”

--followed by a loud “GODDAMNIT!” and a laughing “Oh my god, really?”

Blake blinked. “That’s... not in the script--”

Weiss came storming down the stairs, blushing furiously. “Excuse me, I need to go scrub my eyes.”

“I’m sorry!” called a voice from upstairs.

Yang was chuckling as she descended. “Well, I mean, the bed is supposed to have dead people in it anyway--”

Ruby covered her face with her hands, trying to hide her disbelieving grin as Blake groaned. “Again?! Those two...”

“Welp,” Maria quipped, “I guess shooting is done for today.”

“Is this going in the blooper reel?” Blake asked plaintively.

Yang smirked. “Hell yes!”

Ruby descended into embarrassed giggling.

“Tell you what. You keep that fire going, and I’ll find us a story to read.”

Oscar smiled faintly as Maria hobbled over to the bookshelves.

“Oh look! The kama sutra!”

Baffled laughter escaped the boy’s mouth. “Wh--what? Seriously?”

“It’s a good read,” Maria pointed out.

“No, no no, nooooo.” Oscar held up his hands. “Waaaay too young for that!”

“Huh,” Yang mused, “the workshop is getting really good with these puppets.” She poked one of the inert Apathy experimentally. “I mean, these have got to be the creepiest ones yet.”

“Oh yeah,” Blake agreed. “And have you read the script? These things are just terrifying, really.”

Yang turned to her with a nod. “Yeah, I’m glad these aren’t real. I mean, zombie grimm are bad enough, but the whole will-draining thing--”

Bony fingers brushed her shoulder. “BRAAAAAAAINSSSSS...”

Yang spun around, fists at the ready. “GAH WHAT THE--”

“BRAAAAAAAAAAINSSSS!” Ruby repeated, waving the Apathy’s arms around with a huge grin.

Yang lowered her fists with an angry laugh. “Damn it, leave that kind of trolling in Chibi!”

"Hey, I think I found something,” Yang said. She smiled as she looked down at the trailer, her eyes drifting up to the window--and then she let out a horrified gasp.

One which quickly descended into helpless giggles. “Turn, heehee, turn the camera!”

The camera turned to the window. Through it, in the snow, Adam Taurus could be seen... dressed as a belly-dancer and performing actually quite well.

Yang threw the window open. “Damn it, you’re playing a psychopath! You’ve got to stop doing things like this!” She turned to the camera, helplessly gesturing at the man with a grin. “This guy. This guy!”

Blake sighed. “Adam... Adam always knew how to get into--”

“Mrrrw...”

“--how to get into people’s heads, and--”

“Mrrrrooooooow!”

Yang snorted.

Blake glared at her. “Do you think this is funny?”

“I didn’t say that!” Yang protested, desperately trying to hide her amusement.

Blake rolled her eyes, turning to the shelves and spotting the black cat with yet another dead bird at his paws. “I already told you: I am not interested!”

Yang couldn’t hold it back anymore, bursting out in peals of laughter.

With a sigh, Blake turned to the camera. “The glamor of acting, people.”

“Mrrrooooooooow?”

She gestured at the persistent feline. “Can we get my stalker off the set?!”

Yang’s laughter redoubled as she collapsed out of the shot. Blake glowered down, her leg moving slightly and producing a small thnk sound.

“Ow! Okay, hahaha, fair, but, hee, but still, hahahahahaha!”

With one final long-suffering look to the camera, Blake left the shot.

"Ruby, are we... are we really still going to Atlas?”

Ruby turned, a confused horror subtly creeping into her expression. “Weiss, what are you saying?”

“It’s just--”

“~Oooooh let’s go digital! Yeah let’s go--~”

Ruby fumbled with her scroll for a bit, before pressing the answer button. “Uh, hey there!

“Salutations! I just found this convenience store nearby, do you want me to pick something up for you?”

“Oh, that sounds great, um, definitely some trail mix--no beans or seafood--actually, would it be too much of me to ask you to get some subs or something for everyone on the way down?”

“Not at all! Are there any specific orders you would like?”

“I still don’t like mayonnaise,” Weiss interjected.

There was a moment of silence.

“Did I call you in the middle of a shot again?”

“Yeeeeah.” Ruby chuckled. “Sorry--”

“No no no, it’s my fault entirely. I’ll get the food, and I’ll be down in a bit, alright?”

“Alright. Love you!”

“Love you too! See you soon!” The scroll clicked off.

Ruby shook her head. Then she caught sight of Weiss’s look. “What?”

“I’m happy for you,” Weiss assured her with a grin.

Ruby glanced away. “Mmmrngh...” She couldn’t help the corner of her lips twitching upward.

Ruby picked up the golden bottle. Her face contorted with quiet rage, and she flung it away.

It bounced against the wall and started rolling across the ground.

After a moment, Ruby sighed. “It didn’t shatter, did it.”

Four of the Apathy strode on stage, wearing hats and wielding canes as team RWBY expertly puppeted them through a dance routine.

“~Spooky scary skeletons send shivers down your spine, Shrieking skulls will shock your soul and seal your doom tonight! Spooky scary skeletons speak with such a screech, You'll shake and shudder in surprise when you hear these zombies shriek!...~”

“We’re all tired,” Oscar pointed out wearily.

“Maybe if we’re all so exhausted we should eat?” Blake suggested.

“Yeah,” Oscar agreed. “A nice bowl of cereal.”

“Pancakes,” Blake added. “Two plates.”

“Crispy bacon, prepared juuuust right.”

“Eggs over easy, on top of french bread.”

“Cinnamon toast.”

“What?”

“It’s cinnamon toast,” Oscar said seriously. “French bread is the baguette.”

“Well, you can use a baguette to make cinnamon toast, right?”

“I mean, sure, but then where does the madness end? Cereal in orange juice? Syrup-slathered ham? Breakfast burritos slathered in chocolate?”

“Actually,” Ruby interjected, “that last one sounds pretty good.”

“I once had a deep-fried stack of pancakes,” Weiss mused. “Not actually that bad.”

“I subscribe to the ‘take five cans of anything, dump in some noodles, and boil it all’ philosophy of cooking,” Yang added.

“You’d be surprised what kind of crazy combinations people can come up with,” Maria added. “Ever hear of muffin pizza?”

Oscar looked at them all in horror. “My god... you’re all insane.”

"Look, we can just drop it in the well,” Yang suggested. “Sure, the Grimm might find it, but it would take time. A year... ten... it may not even happen in our lifeline.”

There was a moment where everyone processed that.

“...Damn it.” Yang facepalmed. “I didn’t even mean to say that!”

“Yarr maties,” Blake growled, “batten down tha hatches, there be a storm a-comin’!”

Weiss snorted. “See, my mind went to ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.’”

Ruby turned to the camera with the biggest of grins. “I’ll take Grimm Studies for three hundred, please!”

“Alright, alright!” Yang rolled her eyes. “Come on, let me give this another take.”

Ruby picked up the golden bottle. Her face contorted with quiet rage, and she flung it away.

It bounced against the wall, landing on its base and waggling to a stop.

Ruby glanced over her shoulder, then turned to the camera with an expression of utter deadpan.

Ruby dropped into the well, shortly after followed by her teammates. She took her scroll and raised it warily... and then moved her thumb with a mischievous smirk.

“~Cause this is THRILLEEEEEER! THRILLER NIGHT! And noone’s gonna save ya from the beast about to strike--~”

Ruby was already dancing and, after an amused glance, the other three joined in. Then Maria moonwalked into the scene with a huge grin.

“Having fun without me, dearies?”

“Woo!” Yang shouted. “Rock it granny!”

She did indeed proceed to rock it.

Maria clutched at the stairs, looking up desperately. “An exit!”

Weiss rushed past her--and ended up knocking her over with a loud THWUMP! She turned around, caught sight of the old woman, and covered her mouth with her hands.

“Oh my gosh, I--I am so sorry!” She walked back down slowly. “Are you alright?”

“...Medic...”

Ruby reached out desperately to her teammate, collapsed in front of the oncoming horde. “Blake...”

Blake looked at her, eyes... glittering with mischief, as she put a hand on her hip and adopted a catlike smirk. “Draw me like one of your french girls.”

Instantly everyone cracked up, one of the Apathy even clapping sarcastically.

“Oh come on, you were all thinking it!”

Ruby picked up the golden bottle. Her face contorted with quiet rage, and she flung it away.

It bounced against the wall and--

"OW! Ow ow ow, damn it!”

Qrow blinked, turning to her. “What? What just happened?”

“The bottle bounced against the wall and hit her head,” Oscar helpfully provided from off-screen.

“The hell? Are these things made of rubber or something?” Qrow gave Ruby a concerned look. “Kid, you okay?”

“I think I’m bleeding,” Ruby reported in amused pain. “Ow. Medic?”

Ruby glared angrily, her teeth clenched as she peered at her foes.

“Aaaaaand cut!”

She turned to the camera with a bright smile. “Now see, that’s going to look a lot more impressive once they edit the silver eye stuff in in post.”

The camera focused on the metal cellar doors, zooming in dramatically on the chain--

--which jerked briefly.

“OW! Damn it, what the hell is that chain made of, adamantium?”

“Uh,” came Blake’s voice, “you doing alright there?”

“It’s an easy shot, they said. Punch open the door, they said! Damn it, I think my hand’s dead.”

“So...” Ruby mused. “Do you need a medic, or a technician?”

“My other fist is still working fine, missy.”

"We need to go!” Ruby cried.

“Not yet,” Weiss decreed, grabbing a bottle off the shelf. She threw it overhand at the cellar...

...and it bounced off the head of an Apathy, landing cork-first on the ground without spilling a drop.

“...What the hell?!”

“I know, right?!”

"They’re called the Apathy,” Maria explained morosely. “They’re not strong, or ferocious, or cunning. They just drain your will--”

The entire trailer suddenly jerked to a stop. A moment later, Bumblebee rolled behind it, engine cutting off.

“You all alright?” Yang asked.

“Yeah,” Ruby sighed. “We’re just going to have to hook this up and start this shot over.”

"Isn’t it obvious, girl?” Maria turned a sad smile on Ruby. “I have silver eyes.”

There was a moment where they all processed that.

“Um...” Ruby held up a finger. “Don’t you mean ‘had?’“

“Oh, I still have them,” Maria replied brightly, “they’re in my pocket here, let me show you!”

Everyone else broke out giggling, Ruby feebly protesting with a wave. “No, ew, gross! I believe you!”

[comeonandsmash]

alors á bientot

[fourth-best-jeanist]

(This is a crack fic based on y’all suggestions that me and my sister @trble921 wrote in about four hours. Hope y’all enjoy. Disclaimer: I have not seen nor have any knowledge of the Merlin fandom so I hope that part is accurate :))

The Adventures of Prince Shouto, Death the Kid, Ming Ming the God, King Arthur and one sleepy Spider-Man

In a faraway land full of magic and wonder, lived price Todoroki of the Endeavor sea kingdom. He was the future king of the sea, but wanted nothing to do with the current king, Endeavor. He often skipped out on his princely duties to enjoy the company of his best friend Ming Ming, the non-binary merduck god of the aquatic animal kingdom.

“Ming Ming!” Shouto called out for his friend as he entered the reefs. Out from the depths of the rocks poked out a small friendly face, the most powerful sea creature in existence.

“Shouto! There you are, I was beginning to think you wouldn’t show.” Ming Ming exclaimed with awe. The two frequently met up to discuss and complain about their broken family lives, something the two had in common.

—

Meanwhile in the land above water, a small runaway rich boy laid under the tarp on a small fishing boat, trying to keep warm. He awoke with a start, as the boat started moving. His mind immediately started weighing the countless possibilities of what could be happening, was he being kidnaped? Would his dad have to pay a ransom? Once the vessel stopped, his mind slowed as well as he heard the sonorous cries of the boats captain, singing.

“Babyyyyy shark doo dooo doo doo do doo...”

The stowaway was confused - why were his captors singing such a shitty sea shanty? On the other side of the tarp, a dramatic scene was about to play out.

—

Peter Parker was a simple man, who loved the simple pleasures of life, such as fishing. Every Saturday morning he would grab the infinity gauntlet from his bedside table (for good luck) and go out to sea in order to catch some fish for himself and Aunt May. He had barely started his shanty about prepubescent sharks when he saw a duck pop out from under the water. He smiled when he saw the small creature swim closer.

“Hey little buddy, want some bread?” Peter hummed as he tossed an entire baguette at the duck.

“How dare you assault the god of aquatic life? I shall curse you for eternity to rot in the hell dimension” the duck said.

Peter snapped his head side to side wondering who spoke, but just found the duck, now swimming threateningly close to his boat. He began to question his sanity when he saw a head pop up from under the water, a handsome young dual haired head.

“What are you doing under the water? Do you need a ride back?” Peter asked the man, with a worried expression on his face. The man just scoweld and rolled his eyes.

—

The idea of hiding under the tarp for much longer angered the young rich boy, so he devised a plan to surprise and get the high ground in a fight. Counting to himself, he readied himself for the attack.

“Hands where i can see them!” he yelled, emerging from under the tarp. He spied two young men and a duck, what lame competition. As he was eyeing the competition, he made eye contact with the dual haired man in the water, and immediately was entranced.

“The asymmetry in your face intrigues me” he thought out loud.

“What the fuck” Said the duck, pulling the stowaway back into reality.

“Alright fools, hands up. I need to know your names, ranks and intentions.” The first to reply was the man on the boat.

“Uh - I’m Peter Parker, and this is my infinity gauntlet. My rank is an Avenger and my intention is to go fishing for my aunt May”. The stowaway nodded and pointed his guns towards the stunning man in the water who begrudgingly replied.

“My name is Shouto Todoroki, I am the first in line for the throne of the Endeavor kingdom, and my intentions are to stop Ming Ming from killing an innocent civilian for throwing bread at them.”

The stowaway confusidly looked around, “who in the fuck is Ming Ming?”

“Right here you asymmetrical asshat” replied the duck.

The stowaway nodded and decided to introduce himself “My name is Death the kid, although i’m sure you already know that.”

—

All of this was way too much for poor Peter Parker to handle. Sure, aliens were normal for him, but talking ducks? He had always had a tough time dealing with rich kids too, so out of pure terror, Peter grabbed his gauntlet, pushed Death the Kid off the boat, and slung away on his webs.

“Get back here! How dare you disrespect the ruler of the aquatic animal kingdom!” Ming Ming yelled, chasing the scared spider boy, and leaving Todoroki and death the kid alone.

—

“HELP!!! I CANNOT SWIM!” Death the kid cried as he felt himself sinking under the water. As he began to lose hope, he felt two strong hands grab on to him and pull him back to the surface of the water, supporting the Kid from sinking once again.

Coughing up his lungs, Death the kid searched for his rescuer, only to find none other than the handsome prince himself holding him above the surface. He gazed into the mermaid’s eyes as Todoroki gazed back. With just a look, Death the Kid recognized the signs of a Troubled Family Life.

“Todoroki, I don’t mean to be brash, but are you currently being crushed by the expectations of those around you because your father is a big shot who accomplished something immpressive in his lifetime?” Todoroki gazed back at the curious man.

“Yes, that is my exact situation” he replied. “But there is one thing we don’t have in common, our insecurities.”

“My left side is unsightly” they both said at the same time. Gasping they peered at each other wondering how they could perceive themselves as anything but beautiful.

“What is wrong with your left side?” Todoroki asked curiously.

“These unsightly stripes won’t go away no matter what I do, it makes me so unsymmetrical, I can’t stand it!” he replied, punching the boat. “What about you? What’s your story?”

Todoroki looked down broodingly “You see, my mother was in an arranged marriage with my father and it drove her crazy, one day we were swimming in as geyser field and she snapped. She used the boiling water in order to rid my father from my face.”

Death the kid held out his hands to grab Todoroki’s face, “I think your left side is beautiful, and I hope one day you find it in yourself to love it as much as i do. Even though the different colours of your hair and asymmetrical nature of your face anger me to a primal level, I believe I can find it in myself to love them as I love you.”

As they were deeply entranced in this conversation, they did not notice the turtle watching from afar, with a deathly look in its eyes.

—

“King Arthur, you have a visitor, sir,” Arthur’s servant announced.

“Bring him in,” Arthur replied.

The servant opened the doors for the visitor, claiming urgent business with the King. Into the throne room walked Tuck the Turtle, with a frown on his face, determination in his walk, and revenge in his heart.

“King Arthur, sir, may I bring to your attention an ungodly war that threatens your kingdom?” Tuck began, “There is an entire kingdom of underwater people who live in the seas to the west! I heard earlier today, as I relaxed by the coast, that they plan to take over the above water kingdoms as well! Sir, you much send your best army there immediately.”

The king thought this over, and decided to take action. “I shall send my entire army of underwater robots to fight these mer-folk. I appreciate your concern for our kingdom!”

As Tuck left the castle, he muttered under his breath. “Finally, I will be able to get revenge against my sibling, Ming Ming. All three of us siblings were Gods! I knew that Linny was not doing her job, so naturally she had to go. I could rule better than Linny any day! But since that was murder and treason and an awful thing to do to a sister, my title as a God was revoked. But with this war to distract those merpeople, it will be easy to get my revenge! I’ll be the only sibling left - and I will be the single and only God of the Animal Kingdom!” Tuck cackled to himself as he walked the coastline, eyeing the kingdom that would soon be his to control.

Tuck, however, was not the only one who could use eavesdropping to his advantage. In the shadows, sat Death the Kid himself, conveniently overhearing Tuck’s entire plan.

“He intends to attack my prince!” he said in a panic, “I have to go warn him”.

—

“Shouto!!” Death the Kid yelled as he waded into the ocean waves, “Shouto!! I need to warn you!! Shouto!!” He knew that he couldn’t swim. But this was life or death (haha) for the love of his life, and he was willing to put himself on the line if there was a chance of saving his prince. He swam and swam as far as his pathetic noodle arms could take him.

Death the kid felt himself growing weaker as the moments dragged by, fear of drowning weighing heavy in his head. He felt his vision growing weaker and slowly fading to white, when this faded and he regained his ability to he breathe and see. He was in a pure white room with no walls, curves or bends. Hearing a noise, he turned around, only to see his father, death himself.

“What is happening father, what are you doing? I need to go warn Shouto!” Death the kid turned around frantically looking for an exit.

“I’m giving you a choice, my son” Death answered, “you have the choice to either stay as you are and continue your life, or to give up the land and join Shouto. Please note if you decide to go with Shouto, you can never return to land, and in turn, will never be able to come visit me or your old friends ever again.”

Death the kid stood stunned for a few minutes, wondering what he had to give up in order to be fully happy? Would he give up his old life, or would he give up Shouto, the love of his life. After, thinking about the consequences of not being able to warn Shouto, he made his choice.

“I’d like to join Shouto, please use your plot convenient magic to give me a tail” Death the kid exclaimed.

“That’s what i thought you’d say” Death mumbled, bending over to his son “No matter where life or death (haha) takes you, I will always be the first to support you, so always know that i love you very much.” Death reached down to hug his son “now go, save your man”.

Death the kid started to feel an extreme cold sensation on his body as he woke up from his haze, slowly opening his eyes and remembering that he was in the ocean, and had a mission that was life or death (haha). Panicked, he tried to get up as quickly as possible to go warn Shouto, but he felt someone’s arms wrapping tightly over him. He focused his vision and saw Shouto himself holding him in a comforting hug.

“I was so worried about you” the two said in sync. Shouto stifled a laugh, and continued. “I found you passed out underwater, I thought you were dead! But then you grew a tail and....well I was worried. I’m glad to see you alive and well.”

“I’ve had brushes with death before” Death the kid replied giggling at his own joke, realizing that he would have to explain to Shouto why that was funny. He snapped back to reality and grabbed Shouto’s arm and began yelling, “Shouto!! I must protect you! There is an army of robots on their way to destroy your kingdom! And where is that duck? There was a turtle talking about revenge and I think we are all in danger.”

Shouto looked back at Death the Kid, and decided to take action.

“Let’s go and prepare the army.”

—

King Arthur looked down at the ocean from the docs, turning back around to his army of high tech mechs.

“Prepare troops, its time for you to fulfill your duty and fight for your kingdom!” Arthur yelled as his troops ran and dove into the salty water. He turned to enter his own mech, and followed right behind his army.

—

Shouto had sent Ming Ming to warn his father of the incoming war, and to no surprise, as he swam down, the troops were ready and waiting on higher orders to act. Shouto and death the kid went to the front of he group to keep a watch for their enemy. When they could just make out the outline of the enemy, they sent the troops to attack. What followed was a gruesome and bloody battle, soldiers being hurt right and left. Shouto was starting to think he made the wrong call, could he have done something to avoid such bloodshed? He was so lost in his thoughts, he failed to notice Tuck sneaking up behind him, preparing to make a fatal blow. All Shouto heard was a scream before it happened, he turned around in confusion only to see Ming Ming rushing out to defend him against the danger. Ming Ming summoned an army of sea creatures to fight against Tuck, while making sure that Shouto was alright. Thanks to this distraction, both failed to see the immediate threat in front of them; Arthur was preparing his mech to finish off Shouto and his kingdom for good.

Death the kid swam around confusedly, what was happening? Where’s Shouto? He turned wildly in every direction trying to find his man, almost failing to notice his slim (But Toned) body from behind a gargantuan mech. He swam as fast as he possibly could in order to protect Shouto from this great threat, throwing himself in front of the danger.

“STOOOOP!!” he screamed. Arthur immediately realized who had commanded him to stop, it was deaths child himself!

“What on earth are you doing here? We are at war, you must step out of the way immediately!” Arthur commanded.

Death the kid shook his head, “you’ve been tricked by Tuck the turtle! There was no threat here, he simply wanted revenge for his own personal gain, at your kingdom’s expense!”

Arthur understood immediately the severity of what had been done, “wherefore is that dastardly turtle?!”

“Right here, king” a sneaky voice taunted, they all turned to face the turtle, not expecting to see him holding an immeasurable power.

“Where did you get that gauntlet!” Death the kid demanded.

“I stole it off that sleeping spider while you were all distracted” Tuck replied eyeing the gems “I guess this is one final goodbye, and thank you”

SNap

[fy-skz]

[TRANS] [Visual Guide ②] "It’s Interesting, TMI"…Stray Kids Hyunjin·Seungmin·I.N Investigation

Spinoff of the ‘Aiding Becoming a Fan Guide’, ‘Visual Guide’ has come. Become fans while admiring the visuals X Sports News has ‘pick’ed together, and then become fans again! Together with Stray Kids’ handsome and cute UniformZ Hyunjin, Seungmin, and I.N.

With Hyunjin and Seungmin, for which this year is the last of uniforms, and I.N we looked into their school life.

How do, not Stray Kids, but ‘students’ Hyunjin, Seungmin, Jeongin (I.N) spend their time? To them who are currently enrolled in SOPA and Cheongdam High School, we asked what their favorite class, favorite school lunch, and everything about their school life.

Hyunjin waved his hands at the nickname ‘SOPA’s Prince’, and Busan boy I.N imitated the sound of the boat horns heard from the Busan Port in the middle of talking about his school days, we had fun sharing stories about school. Q. You must have had a lot of popularity when attending school?

I.N - During elementary school I was on the chubby side, so there wasn’t any of that, and in middle school I attended an all-boys middle school. The school I’m attending now has a lot of celebrities (laugh).

Hyunjin - There’s a lot of top stars. We have no presence….(laugh)

Q. Hyunjin has the nickname, ‘SOPA Prince’?

I.N - (I.N started smiling) He is a prince!

Hyunjin - Ah, this really has to be clarified. The kids in my class ask me, ‘why are you a prince’. I’ve never been called that! (As I.N keeps saying it’s right) I think the kids in I.N’s class use that nickname. In my grade the kids don’t say it. I don’t think I’m SOPA’s Prince. Please write this!

Q. How was it for Seungmin?

Seungmin - I’m just attending the same school as I did before debut so…..Back then I went around with friends and ate and played. After debuting I just eat and am in class, I never go outside and only talk with my friends in my class (laughs). There’s not a lot of opportunity to talk with my friends in my class. These days I ask what they’re doing, what kids these days do. I learned what the slang ‘Inssa-term' was (insider terms). I thought ‘awkward silence’ was the latest trend-word but it already passed….Stray Kids is slow. (Seungmin has this ‘young master’ kind of feel.) If fans see me that way, I am very thankful. Q. Did you have anything like on OO Day I received a confession, or anything?

I.N - I’ve never had that….(laugh) In middle school I did receive a hand-written letter from someone at a different school!

Hyunjin - For me too, school juniors would just….

Seungmin - I’ve received exactly one letter from a junior. I remember it because it happened just once (laugh).

Q. Favorite class?

Hyunjin, I.N - P.E!

Hyunjin - Ah, I liked art class more. (I.N also related with art class) If guys are gathered together they never draw but in the middle of them I was alone sucked into art. (Are you the “Midas hand” in Stray Kids?) The members….

I.N - The members give off the feeling of drawing with their feet.

Seungmin - I liked our Chinese Classics class. (Everyone at the interview site was amazed) The Chinese Classics teacher told us a lot of fun stories (laughs). Life stories, marriage stories, those kinds of things? If the class was 50 minutes long the teacher told about 35 minutes of TMI (laughs). So it felt like studying went better too.

Q. If you had to divide between liberal arts and natural sciences, where do you think you would go?

Hyunjin - I worked really hard in math for a really long time. In middle school I did a lot of prerequisite learning. I really worked hard in math. The cram school I went to was a really hard place. I worked hard in math but now I don’t know anything. Besides multiplication table I don’t know anything….. Then I tried hard in math and even thought about going to natural sciences. (Hyunjin circled and said that as he did not like science he would have ended up going to liberal arts)

Seungmin, I.N - Liberal arts!

Seungmin - I think in the end I would have gone to liberal arts as well. I am on the liberal arts side since birth. I think I receive better scores in English and Korean than in Math or Sciences. I also have a lot of interest in writing, and because I wanted to write better I also researched into it more.

Jeongin - I did bad in math. (How was science?) Stars and space…. I really liked Earth sciences!

Q. Favorite school cafeteria meal?

I.N - The school cafeteria food at the middle school I went to was really yummy. It tasted really good. It is a school that is pretty well known for having tasty school lunch. When they had Banquet noodles and chicken wings it was really good.

Hyunjin - It’s spaghetti!

I.N - They had spaghetti with garlic baguettes.

Seungmin - Pizza is good, and I also liked when they had pork belly. And when they simply had Pork Rib Hangover Soup. In high school the school lunch suddenly started tasting good.

Q. Is there something you want to do when you turn twenty?

Seungmin - I want to keep being a student. I don’t want to become an adult (laughs). If I have to pick something I want to do then making phone micropayments. For me, I have to do it with my mom. My mom has to do it. I want to try doing it. And of course I’d have to cumbersomely send gifticons to the members.

Hyunjin - For me, after becoming an adult I think I’ll be living the same life. I made a micropaymen card but there’s nothing to do (laughs). Ah, I want to party with the members.

I.N - I can only use phone message emoticons that I’ve been gifted. So I want to buy a lot of emoticons. I’m going to buy a lot. (To Visual Guide ③) Source: X Sports News Translation: Candace @ FY!SKZ ; take out with full credit

[bloodelves88]

Trip to Taipei/Hualien/Taichung/Puli, Taiwan (Part 3)

Part 1 here (Hualien). Part 2 here (Taipei). Part 4 here (Taichung/Puli). Part 5 here (Puli). Part 6 here (Puli/Taichung/Taipei).

Day 4

Woke up around 9:30am today. One of my friends wanted to go somewhere to buy tea leaves and left earlier to buy it while we waited in the hotel room. That friend came back around 10:15am, and we left to find breakfast. We went to a bread shop and I bought a baguette sandwich and some other thing I don’t remember. 

We ate while walking, and we headed off to Pingxi/Shifen. It takes a little less than two hours to get there, so it’s a pretty long journey.

Anyway, Shifen is known for two things. Its street food and releasing sky lanterns. You’re supposed to write your wishes on the lantern, then a fire is lit under it and you release it. It floats off into the sky... never to be seen again.

We didn’t release any lanterns. 

I only bought one street food item, and it was some ice cream with peanuts wrapped in a pancake. It’s pretty nice. The ice cream isn’t really ice cream though, it’s more like some sort of sorbet. I have no idea. 

We managed to see someone’s lantern (and wishes) burn to ashes. All these lanterns are being released in between two rows of two storey buildings (photo below), so there’s always a risk of the lanterns hitting the buildings. The typhoon was also due to hit today, so it’s particularly windy. 

Anyway, for some reason we decided to go to the Pingxi waterfall first instead of having lunch. It’s 2pm now. For this whole trip, our meal times are all messed up 😅

My friend’s cap got blown away and off the bridge that goes across this lake, never to be seen again 😩. Ah well.

Another suspension bridge. This one swayed from side to side rather much. 

A small waterfall on the way to the main one.

The swing on the left oh the above photo works, so we sat on it. It’s been a while since I sat on a swing. This one isn’t as nice though. I think the single person ones are nicer.

There’s a mini street food area just before the waterfall here. 

I bought a frozen dragon fruit. I thought it was ice cream but it just turned out to literally be a frozen dragon fruit.

Papaya on the tree. People actually wrapped it up already. Lol.

Doggies! Animals are very prevalent in Taiwan. They roam around freely, and owners bring them around freely. It’s great. It’s particularly cute when their owners put their pets in their bags and carry them around. They also sit in the bags while on motorbikes. 

First glimpse of the Pingxi Waterfall. It’s really wide and majestic.

And then the typhoon hit(?) I’m not really sure if it’s the typhoon, but the rain was going sideways and the winds were really strong. Fortunately there was shelter nearby and it only lasted 10 minutes or so. 

The above waterfall photo is from above Waterfall Obeservation Area 4. We decided to go to the Natural Experience Area to see what it’s about.

It turned out to be a hut, and a pathway with named plants.

Anyway, down to the Observation Area 1.

And then Observation Area 2.

Then Observation Area 4.

You can get really close here. I love the first drop of the waterfall. It’s so neat and calm and pretty. 

Anyway, that’s pretty much it for the waterfall. It’s now 4pm and we still haven’t had lunch 😅

We went through the mini street food area and my friend suggested to eat there. I didn’t really want to, since the street food didn’t look to my liking. It was mainly fried stuff.

We continued back to Shifen. We saw a cafe and just decided to enter.

We decided to sit all the way inside the cafe... and what’s this?

A cat corner!

I was pretty amused by this cat. He kept trying to stick his paw out to grab food. I think he somehow threw some food out of his cage. Later he sticks his paw out to touch the corner of the walls. Really cute and amusing.

We ordered waffles to share, and a rice dish to eat. 

The waffles are not bad. Could have been crispier though.

A fat cat suddenly walked in o.o. I think he followed the shopkeeper in. He came out and chased the cat out.

I ordered braised pork with rice. It’s pretty good, but really filling because there’s a lot of rice.

Random cats hiding under an umbrella on our way back. There were also people releasing fireworks nearby. Didn’t manage to get a picture or video of that though.

Anyway, back to the train station, back to Taipei. We decided to change our tickets to Taichung today, since the tickets we bought weren’t actually fixed yet. It’s paid for, but you still need to go to the counter and decide on a time for the tickets you want. We decided to get the tickets for 12:31pm. And since we were back at Taipei Main Station again, we decided to walk down Taipei City Mall again. This time, the other side of it (it has 2 lanes).

Sumikko Gurashi is really popular in Taiwan. They’re everywhere. Stickers, bags, plushies, gachapon, claw machines, motorbike helmets... Understandable, since they’re so cute.

Custom skinned consoles are always a joy to look at. And look at that copper controller, it’s really sexy.

Then we came across someone dancing. He was playing Just Dance using the Kinect. The Kinect is really a wonderful piece of equipment, too bad it kind fizzed out and died. There were people behind him following the dance as well. He danced really well, he’s not some amateur.

Then we came across a retro shop. Oh boy I’ve never seen most of these before.

Ancient Relics, these things.

They also sell the games to go along with the consoles. So if you want to access some of the past, I don’t think you’ll have any issues here (I’m assuming the consoles work).

I also bought a White Blood Cell. Not an actual one, but the guy from Hataraku Saibou. 

Then, we came across an Indonesian section. I was kind of perplexed by this. Hmmm.

Interesting.

Then I saw some people carry really huge ice creams, and I tried to look for the shop. NT$35 for a double scoop at that size?! A must buy. There were three shops side by side, and one of them had a queue of over ten people, so nope.

 I forgot to take a picture before eating it, so here’s a smaller half licked one. It’s matcha on top and chocolate at the bottom.

Dinner time! We walked back to Ximending and went into one random shop.

I ate the chicken noodles, and my friends ate the other two. 

I also ordered some milk tea with pearls. I mean it’s Taiwan, the origin of milk tea. How could you not order it?

It was much later than we thought, as we spent too much time walking around in Taipei City Mall. We planned to go to the arcade at night and it closes at 11pm. It’s now 9:30pm. Yup, a messed up meal time again.

My friend left an umbrella in the shop we had dinner at, so we had to go back to find it. Fortunately, the umbrella was still there. 

Anyway, arcade time!

The unique thing about this arcade is that it has a batting cage, and a BB gun shooting range. 

My friend who’s interested in baseball went to play in the batting cages, and I went with my other friend to explore the arcade. The arcade wasn’t really interesting, the games aren’t that fun. We played the taiko drums, which wasn’t fun because it was too easy. Then my friend decided to play this game where you guide a ball through a course and try not to let the ball fall off. It’s a scam! It falls off at totally unexpected places. There’s already obvious places it could fall off from, and they aren’t easy to avoid. But they just had to make it harder with unexpected traps.

After that, we wanted to try the guns, but it was too close to 11pm and they weren’t accepting anymore players. We went down to the arcade just one level below, which wasn’t very interesting either. The doors closed to leave a small gap by then. Getting chased out.

Anyway, back to the hotel, and the end of day 4.

Part 1 here (Hualien). Part 2 here (Taipei). Part 4 here (Taichung/Puli). Part 5 here (Puli). Part 6 here (Puli/Taichung/Taipei).

[chayaplaya-blog]

Thursday, April 25, 2019

SOUP

Turkey Chili

Potato Leek Soup

GREENS

Turkey Taco Salad

Roma Tomato, Cheddar Cheese, Black Bean & Tortilla Strips over Iceberg Lettuce with Avocado Ranch Dressing

Butternut Squash Salad

Roasted Butternut Squash, Candied Walnut, Dried Cranberries & Feta Cheese over Spring Mix with Honey Dijon Vinaigrette

SANDWICHES

Tomato Caprese Sandwich

Mozzarella Cheese & Fresh Basil on Baguette with Pesto Aioli

Blackened Chicken Caesar Wrap

Parmesan Cheese, Romaine Lettuce & Croutons in Tortilla Wrap with Caesar Dressing

GRILL

Chicken Tandoori Flatbread Sandwich

Marinated Chicken, Tomato, Red Onion, Cilantro Sprig, Feta Cheese in Lavash with Cilantro Lime Cream

Popcorn Shrimp Po Boy

Lettuce & Tomato on Brioche Roll with Cajun Mayo Spread with Relish

CLASSICS

Swedish Meatballs with Buttered Egg Noodles & Seasoned Zucchini & Garlic Bread