#the old dakota raps were so fun

[a-lonely-tatertot]

holding random jrwi songs. i love these things

[intertexts]

HELLOOOO I COME BEARING GIFTS

EPISODE 11 TRIVIA:

- ashe being there surprised dakota so much it broke him somewhat out of his bad mood! in grizzlys words "if he wouldnt have met ashe right then, dakota would have been so much more angry and miserable at the beginning of this episode. he mightve just straight up left. got up and walked away."

- he didnt want to talk to william or vyncent at all, so ashe being there (however unwillingly) as a third party made things easier and almost softened the blow of vyncent yelling at him in the moment

- "why did i dream about william and vyncent being villains in the beginnign and killing summer" ".... i dunno" *cue entire party suspicious WHAT DOES THAT MEAN*

- "i dont trust your characters now" "you have ONE bad dream and our campaign turns into a game of among us"

- william: "hey ashe do you want to run away and write poetry with me?" emo/goth kid solidarity

- this is yakko's (ashes player) first time ever playing a ttrpg !!! fucking wild!! he feels like he needs more practice describing things

- FUN CHARACTER FACTS. I LOVE THESE MORE THAN ANYTHING. BIZLY ASKED EACH OF THEM WHAT KINDS OF MUSIC THEIR CHARACTERS WOULD LISTEN TO.

dakota: breakbeat, old school rap, 90s punk rock. also for shows he would watch it was "cartoons like atla, tmnt and codename kids next door"

william: "indie rock. and on a bad day, evanescence" (god hes just like me fr)

vyncent: "my character doesnt know what music is"

ashe: MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE . also apparently yakko made an ashe winters playlist on spotify and thats actually what they were playing in the episode. i have not found this yet and i desperately want to

- for the spirit world, bizly asked charlie to find him just random pieces of music that he could envision places for and thats how they came up with carnival of souls! there are a handful more places like that that youll see eventually :]

- yakko: "im glad i was able to bring wavelengths threat level down an entire tier just by calling him mark"

- charlie wants william and ashe to hang out in character more because theyre so similar and he thinks they would have a lot to bond over! i love this

- theyre all really excited that they get to go to the spirit world together and it wasnt just an excuse to split the party because they dont want to do that :] (<< i just rlly like this energy)

- grizzly is specifically playing dakota as "not being able to process emotions very well"

ALSO!!!!!!! i dojt know what site or whatever youre using to watch/listen so im hoping they have this on there BUT. the tide backstory oneshot was posted between episodes 12 and 13 so if u wanted to listen to that one now would be a good time !!! its called The Elementals :]

HIII YAYAYAYAYYY!!!! ohh fuck yes a little bowl of seeds for me :333

the dakota & ashe stuff is so goodddd u can rlly tell. it's like yeah you cant be mad and miserable and sulky in front of someone u don't know!! & ashe is just.... so unbothered... i loaf him... he truly did bring the threat level down so fast. went from terrifying supervillain in charge of the Evil Facility to an exhausted pissed off single dad in 1 minute.

+ALL THE MUSIC STUFF IS SO GOOD..... ITS SO GOOD. yelling. vyncent is going 2 end up having the weirdest music taste from hanging out with them. augh... awesome trivia thabk. the energy they have is so fun always....

[anachronistic-falsehood]

EPISODE 11 TRIVIA:

- ashe being there surprised dakota so much it broke him somewhat out of his bad mood! in grizzlys words "if he wouldnt have met ashe right then, dakota would have been so much more angry and miserable at the beginning of this episode. he mightve just straight up left. got up and walked away."

- he didnt want to talk to william or vyncent at all, so ashe being there (however unwillingly) as a third party made things easier and almost softened the blow of vyncent yelling at him in the moment

- "why did i dream about william and vyncent being villains in the beginnign and killing summer" ".... i dunno" *cue entire party suspicious WHAT DOES THAT MEAN*

- "i dont trust your characters now" "you have ONE bad dream and our campaign turns into a game of among us"

- william: "hey ashe do you want to run away and write poetry with me?" emo/goth kid solidarity

- FUN CHARACTER FACTS. I LOVE THESE MORE THAN ANYTHING. BIZLY ASKED EACH OF THEM WHAT KINDS OF MUSIC THEIR CHARACTERS WOULD LISTEN TO.

dakota: breakbeat, old school rap, 90s punk rock. also for shows he would watch it was "cartoons like atla, tmnt and codename kids next door"

william: "indie rock. and on a bad day, evanescence" (god hes just like me fr)

vyncent: "my character doesnt know what music is"

ashe: MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE . also apparently yakko made an ashe winters playlist on spotify and thats actually what they were playing in the episode. i have not found this yet and i desperately want to (EDIT TO THIS ONE: I DID ACTUALLY END UP FINDING THIS LIST. ILL SEND IT TO U IN DMS BECAUSE LINKS DONT WORK IN ASKS APPARENTLY)

- for the spirit world, bizly asked charlie to find him just random pieces of music that he could envision places for and thats how they came up with carnival of souls! there are a handful more places like that that youll see eventually :]

- yakko: "im glad i was able to bring wavelengths threat level down an entire tier just by calling him mark"

- charlie wants william and ashe to hang out in character more because theyre so similar and he thinks they would have a lot to bond over! i love this

- theyre all really excited that they get to go to the spirit world together and it wasnt just an excuse to split the party because they dont want to do that :] (<< i just rlly like this energy)

- grizzly is specifically playing dakota as "not being able to process emotions very well"

I LOVE KNOWING WHAT MUSIC CHARACTERS CANONICALLY LISTEN 2. I LOVE THAT SHIT. IF YOU HAVE THE CANON ASHE WINTERS PLAYLIST PLEASE SEND IT TO ME I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR IT I LOVE HIM <3

i love that they did a carnival for the spirit world I LOVE SPOOKY CARNIVALS AND CIRCUS STUFF!!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!! IT WAS SO GOOD. UGH this was one of my fav episodes i think. god it was so good. i might answer more of these later i am getting eepy but oh my god dude this episode was EVERYTHING 2 ME

[woulddieforperrytheplatypus]

To distract myself from this awful political scene I'm forced to watch for history class: can you give us some obscure side characters (like, Dr. Diminutive, Newton the Gnu, type characters) you absolutely love for no reason? :) <3

Okay I am literally so late because I was doing my chem reading and my writing hw BUT I can’t refuse a chance to scream about my favorite characters (but y’all can refuse to listen to my scream about them so here’s a cut)

First of all, I want you to know that I haven’t even started listing characters yet and this ask has already lead me to spend almost $4 on Agent P’s Guide to Fighting Evil and that’s why I don’t look at the PnF wiki when I’m tired thank you for coming to my TED talk

I almost feel like I’m cheating by starting with Dr. Diminuitve but HOW CAN I NOT LIKE TELL ME THAT LIL MAN IS NOT THE BEST CHARACTER THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN OKAY FUCKIN DO IT JUST KIDDING YOU CAN’T I mean come on, one of his first lines was literally “I don’t have a Napoleon complex; Napoleon had a ME complex!” I had to check the wiki to see if that was his first line ever and I’m very disappointed that it wasn’t and then in OWCA’s Going Down when all the evil scientists were just vibin against the fence and they started doing that West Side Story snappy walk and Diminutive was so into the snaps that he just didn’t fucking move and then he opened his eyes and the rest of the gang was halfway off the screen fjdskhfkalsfhaskl I just really love him okay the more I think about it the more convinced I am that he’s actually my favorite character

Idk if this counts as an obscure side character but he is incredibly underrated so I gotta throw in: LAWRENCE FUCKING FLETCHER. He’s just such a pure and innocent lil dude. He sees the boys doing dangerous shit and he’s just like, “Well that’s happening,” or better yet, “Hey, that looks fun!” I mean, the airplace? The flying carpet? The monster trucks? He genuinely gives zero fucks and I love him for it. I wholeheartedly believe that Lawrence knows Perry is a secret agent -- or at least that he’s smarter than he acts -- but he’s literally so indifferent to everything going on around him that he never mentions it because life is full of fun and exciting things like that and he can’t talk about them all, you know? And he gets so excited about his antiques and he’s so passionate about history and ughhhh I love him 

I was about to say I feel like I’m cheating by using a special but it just occurred to me that that’s lowkey how I’ve prefaced all of these so no, fuck that, I’m using a special and that’s just how it’s gonna be. CARL FROM THE LAND OF INTERNUS WOULD HAVE MADE A MUCH BETTER ENDING THAN THE ACTUAL BOOK HAD AND FUCK YOU MONOGRAM FOR CUTTING CARL OFF BEFORE HE COULD TELL IT HOW HE WANTED TO

These two kinda go hand-in-hand but Bunka Da Bunkaquan and Sweary the Swan are my favorite alternative Perrys. As far as the specials go, Steampunx isn’t one of my favorites, but Sweary the Swan is just... How do you even describe Sweary the Swan? He is life. He is the reason I wake up in the morning. He is the only thing worth living for. And then Bunka Da Bunkaquan is just so fuckin cute and anyone who disagrees needs their eyes checked. And tbh while we’re talking about Tri-Stone area, I gotta throw in a mention of Doofengung no of course I didn’t have to google what his name was what are you talking about because I love how he just stares at the water and every time it drips he just fuckin cackles lmaooo

Okay one more special (maybe) but Doofenshmirtz in The Temple of Juatchadoon brooo I just googled it to make sure I spelled that right and I did woah my power is unmatched is lowkey my favorite Doofenshmirtz. I don’t know if it’s because I actually like him more than every other Doof or if it’s just because his first scene was with Phineas Ohio Flynn and they knew each other and they had actual interactions throughout the episode and the Doof/Phineas relationship is my favorite underexplored relationship, but Juatchadoon Doof makes the list anyway

The “what did you think, _________ was just going to fall out of the sky?” couple — who 100% deserved that cameo in catu

I’m almost afraid to say this in public, but I actually really like Roger. I was mostly indifferent to him at first, but then Delivery for Destiny happened and I was like wait a minute, why am I sleeping on his man who literally orders boxes just to give to his cat? And once I realized that he was kinda cool, it started sinking in that he was never actually a bad guy. Heinz never even really claimed he was -- if anything, his problem is that Roger isn’t a bad guy, and everyone in Gimmelshtump and Danville knows it. And I gotta give Roger credit for not being too harsh on his brother, because yeah, he can be a little stuck up (I’m looking at you, stupid golf game), but you can’t really blame him for thinking he’s better than Heinz, you know? But at least he’s not a dick about it like their parents are. Also the entire latter half of this paragraph was me trying to find a way to work in the other part of that scene with the cat box and it didn’t work so I’m just gonna tack it on to the end because this isn’t an essay for English class and I can do that lmao. Paul mentions that he just delivered something to a Heinz Doofenshmirtz, and Roger is like 😬 because let’s be real, no one wants to be represented by the type of dude to try to juice City Hall, but he’s obviously not going to say that because he’s still a respectful dude, so he’s just like “Charming... man... isn’t he...” and he’s literally so uncomfortable and it cracks me up every time but also it’s lowkey kinda wholesome because Heinz may make it his life mission to embarrass his brother but Roger doesn’t reciprocate. but I accidentally discovered a few weeks ago that John O’Hurley is a raging Trump supporter so I gotta dock points for that one

In the same vein, Paul the delivery guy. What more do I have to say?

If my love of Roger didn’t turn the world against me, this one probably will, but I’m going to say it loud and proud anyway. I LOVE PETER THE PANDA. He’s just??? so??? cute??? Like when he was tearing apart Doof’s inator and he was just... actually no scratch that I need pictures for this because I can’t explain this in words

THIS IS NOT EITHER OF THE PICTURES I WAS LOOKING FOR BUT LOOK AT THIS LITTLE GUY OH MY GOD

Peter really said “this bitch empty, YEET!”

okay but the ones I was actually looking for are...

I mean, how can you not find him adorable? And don’t even get me started on his relationship with Perry because Meapless in Seattle was just... B R O Perry flew halfway across the country (probably I mean idk where exactly Danville is but they use EST so Seattle is probably halfway across the country?) just to go grab a coffee with him. They went on a lil date at a fancy restaurant I know Dan said it wasn’t a date but he's been wrong in the tiktok comments before which means none of his opinions are canon lmao. They’re just? So? Cute? I don’t even know what to make of their relationship but I live for it.

And I can’t mention Peter without bringing up his nemesis, who, to be entirely honest, I also don’t know what to make of and he’s mostly on this list because I like the line “How did you get chorus girls in here?” and when I downloaded and cut a bunch of songs that you can download from Google Drive here if you want, I specifically kept that part in because I love it lmao (I do gotta point out tho because it’s been bugging me since I last watched the episode: I don’t think we have any proof that Professor Mystery even exists in the PnF dimension. I had just assumed he did for the longest time, but that entire episode takes place in a dimension where Lawrence is a polar bear. Who knows what other differences there are?)

I love all the grandparents and I don’t even have an explanation they’re just all adorable

Okay I know I said no more specials but TECHNICALLY at2d isn’t a special; it’s a movie. I am physically incapable of not brining up the muffin time Normbot and the “I use aggression to mask my insecurites” Normbot.

While we’re talking about Norm, his old head would 100% swear all the fucking time if it wasn’t a kids’ show and i gotta respect it

Dan Povenmire does one line for a dude named Vinnie in Mission Marvel and off the top of my head I don’t remember who he is but it was the beginning of the episode and I think (?) it was during the New York scene and he does it in the Vinnie Dakota voice long before Dakota was even a concept (I’m assuming) so he gets a mention

Jerry the Platypus gives me Paper Jam Dipper vibes and they are both valid as fuck (the fucked up Doof copy is not valid as fuck tho we’re gonna pretend he didn’t exist)

Don is literally the best part of Where’s Pinky and I’m not just saying that because I’ve been watching Whose Line for years and I was super excited to see Wayne Brady in the credits (and the fact that he was also in both the quarantine rap and catu makes me incredibly happy)

Ooh I almost forgot OWCA Files existed but Harry the Hyena playing the trumpet and the subsequent “you’re gonna be wearing that in a minute” is the best part of OWCA Files and tbh just Doof, Perry, and Harry could have carried an entire series by themselves (though I do also love Karen and Maggie)

WAIT A SECOND THE BUG TRIO FJDSAHFLKSAJD I was trying to pick a favorite last time I watched OWCA Files and every time one of them spoke they were my new favorite like I lowkey thought their plotline was boring but the characters themselves were hilarious

WAIT ANOTHER SECOND HOW DID I GET THIS FAR INTO THE LIST WITHOUT MENTIONING MONTY HOLY SHIT I’M SUCH A FAKE FAN BUT I LOVE MONTY OKAY HE IS LITERALLY JUST OZ FROM BTVS EXCEPT MONTY AND VANESSA HAVE BETTER CHEMISTRY THAN OZ AND WILLOW AND NO I WILL NOT BE ACCEPTING CRITICISM

Wait I forgot Vlorkel too omfg these two belong way higher on the list but Vlorkel is the love of my life (and I lowkey wish she had met Steve the giant chameleon because they would have become best friends)

I wanna keep going but it’s currently 1:45 in the morning (this is why I’ve been avoiding asks during the day: I get way too into them and spend a solid hour and a half on them and I’d never get any schoolwork done lmao) and it’s far from the first time I’ve stayed up this late but I figured it was fine because I have no classes tomorrow but it occurred to me like four seconds ago that I DO HAVE A CLASS TOMORROW SHIIIIT I had an anatomy exam on Tuesday during my usual class time (which if you read my tags you might have known about because I was having an existential crisis over it) so he moved our class tomorrow excePT IT’S NOT TOMORROW IT’S TODAY IT’S LITERALLY IN LESS THAN SEVEN HOURS FUCKING HELL I GOTTA GO TO BED ASAP

[doomedfanfics]

I’m Amelia... Amelia Stark

Year 2089, New York.

Oscorp Industries.

  A group of men ranging from their early forties to early sixties, and one young woman in her early twenties, followed two men down the hall of Oscorp Industries. One of two men was tall with wide shoulders, blue eyes and blonde hair. He was dressed in a navy blue business suit and had handsome features. The other man was clearly a scientist as he was dressed in a lab coat, he was older than the business man but shorter, balding, and wore glasses.

 The woman was average height with dark hair and brown eyes. She wore a black suite with billowing dress pants and heels that clicked on the polished floor as she followed the blonde man. The two were the youngest of the group, but were clearly in charge.

 “This way gentlemen, and lady,” said the blonde man, he winked at the young woman. “Here at Oscorp we run hundreds of studies. From advanced technologies-”

 “It’s 2089, Taylor, how much more advanced can we possibly get?” Asked one of the older gentlemen in the group. They all chuckled and the woman smirked.

 “You’re right, Mr. Douglas, but we never stop trying to be better,” they all nodded in agreement with him. “As I was saying, studies on advance technology, medical technology, weapons tech, and so much more. This wing is dedicated towards the study of super-human biology, so that we can learn more about how our brethren acquire such unique genes that make them who they are.”

 “Human studies?” Asked the woman. “Those are outlawed.”

 The man turned around and put on a well practiced smile. “For the criminal, no. Our test subjects no longer have human rights, per the justice system.” He looked at the group with stern expression. “These are hard core criminals that would steal your fancy cuff links or murder you just because they can. And a few, well they would torture you just for the fun of it.”

 Some of the men grimaced, others kept a stony expression. They moved on down the hall and Taylor continued to explain what other types of studies they conducted on the criminals. The woman frowned as the approached the first of the many doors in the hallway. She peered into the window, inside was a boy, a teenager, sitting in the corner of the padded room. His hair was disheveled and he was pale.

 He looked up at her but didn’t make any effort to move, he looked resigned to his position in life. He looked pitiful and it chipped away at her already burdened heart.

 “Stark, stay with the group!”

 She looked at the group leaving her behind and then looked back at the boy only to be startled because he was now level with the window and looking at her with hope filled brown eyes.

 “Help me!” she heard his muffled voice plead. “Where’s Mr. Stark? Mr. Stark?!” He was screaming.

 “Amy! Keep up!”

 “C-coming!” She shouted back at them.

 “Please!” The boy was crying.

 “I’m sorry,” Amy put her hand on the window and then quickly left.

  Throughout the tour Amy couldn’t stop thinking of the boy in the padded room. Once they entered a conference room and they all sat down did she seriously question the legitimacy of Taylor’s claim that their subjects were all convicts. Why would a boy be locked up at Oscorp? Even if he was a juvenile delinquent there were other places for them, places for super-humans. New York certainly wasn’t one of those places.

 Ever since the war between humans and super-humans the country had been divided, the eastern seaboard all the way to Mississippi was the Eastern States of America. California Oregon, Washington, Idaho, the west part of Montana, Utah, Nevada, and Arizona were now the Republic States of California. All the states in between became sort of a no man’s land. Except Texas, which claimed Oklahoma and New Mexico. The Dakotas were restricted states, it’s where the super-humans were sent to live after the wars.

 Any super-human caught outside the Dakotas were committing a felony and jailed. But the children were an exception. They could be shipped back, depending on age or serve time in a juvenile delinquent center. It wouldn’t go on their record as a criminal act but it would still show on their record, if a crime was committed then they would be charged as an adult.

 “Amy?”

 She looked up, she’d been tapping her pen on the table through the whole meeting while she was thinking and now stopped as she looked at her joint share holders. “What?”

 “The proposition?” Taylor sat at the opposite end of the table as her.

 “Hm?” She raised her eyebrows, pretending she didn’t have a clue as to what they were talking about. Truthfully, she hadn’t been listening at all but it was always the same in these sort of meetings.

 “Ms. Stark, I know that you must have a lot on your mind but could you for once pay attention?” One of the share holders exclaimed, he was an old pudgy gray haired man, Mr. Murdock, she thought was his name.

 “The boy, what’s his crime?” She asked and looked down at the handout in front of her that read Oscorp-Stark Industries. She scratched out Oscorp with her pen.

 “What?” Taylor said, looking confused.

 “You know, the boy,” She circled Stark a few times and looked up at him.

 Taylor raised his eyebrows and the others looked at each other then to Taylor.

 “What boy?” Taylor said calmly leaning forward and placing a hand on the table.

 Amy slammed the pen down and stood up and raised her voice as she spoke. “The damn child being held in a padded room! The boy with the brown hair and the brown eyes! The kid who looked so far gone but then looked right into my eyes and begged for HELP! That boy!”

 Everyone stared in disbelief at her outburst. Taylor leaned back apparently unaffected. He sighed and folded his hands in front of him. “He murdered his parents, some how escaped the detention center in Wisconsin and fled here. He’s a psychopath and a master manipulator.” Taylor sighed again. “Ashamed, he seems so brilliant.”

 Amy sat down and looked at the paper in front of her. Everyone sat in silence, then Amy looked up at them.

 “Start Industries will not merge with Oscorp,” She stood back up and marched out, leaving behind the packet of papers that most likely had all the deals and terms that came with mergers.

 The other were protesting as she left the room but she didn’t stop. She kept doing, to the elevator, then through the halls, and back to the human trials wing. She stopped at the first door in the hall way and peered through the window again. He was sitting in the corner again, forehead on his knees. She rapped on the window with her knuckles and he looked up, his eyes were red rimmed and bloodshot.

 He jumped up from his seated position and raced to the door. “Help me, please!”

 “I will!” Amy told him. “I’m going to help you. What’s your name?”

 “I’m Peter… Parker,” He said and gave her a small smile.

 “Hi Peter, I’m Amelia. Amelia Stark.”

[saleintothe90s]

381. It Came From the Daily Show: one episode from October 1999, and one from November, 1999

(August & September)

October 26, 1999

Headlines: A Time to Kill Brain Cells 

“Do you like origami?” Jon also embarrassed an Atlanta Braves fan in the audience.

Matthew McConaughey was arrested when officers in Texas were called to a public disturbance call. Matthew was high playing bongos, naked, while another man danced. Matthew said it was a nice stay in jail.

Field Piece: Live! Without Regis and Kathie Lee - Stacey Grenrock-Woods investigates turmoil among fans of Regis & Kathie Lee. Is it just me, or does it feel like sometimes that Regis is still on TV with Kathie Lee? I can’t believe its been almost 20 years since Kathie Lee left Regis—and its been nearly 10 or so years since Regis left.

So, the Regis & Kathie Lee fan club no longer exists. Oh, no. btw, the Barbara Mandrell fan club also broke up a while back.

MILLENNIAL MOMENT - GENERATION DEADLINE - a quick parody of all the books that came out at the end of the year, marking the beginning of the millennium.  

This just in: Fight Cub - 

--but first, Jon pulled an eyelid muscle winking at us — 

“Bear wrestles man, wins coveted pic’nic basket.”  This guy, Randy Miller a wrestling promoter was promoting a wrestling match between Dakota the bear, and Dominc Renaldi, an idiot. Miller thinks its fun for the bear to fight.

Other News: Smack to School - a professor at the John Jay College of Criminal Justice was awarded a grant to study heroin use. He used the 2.6 million dollars for cd’s, vacations, and …. heroin for himself. oops.

Other clips:

Al Up in That - Hotel Parking http://www.cc.com/video-clips/lbp6z8/the-daily-show-with-jon-stewart-al-up-in-that---hotel-parking

Interview: Louie Anderson: http://www.cc.com/video-clips/ksd7vn/the-daily-show-with-jon-stewart-louie-anderson

November 4, 1999 — I uploaded it to YouTube! 

I wanted to include a picture of my bedroom at this time, but I couldn’t find one, so here’s what I got for Christmas in 1999.

This one gives me all the feels for the year 1999. I can totally picture myself sitting in my childhood bedroom watching this episode. Thing is, I don’t think that Daily Show was repeating on the weekends anymore at this point, and that was the only time I ever saw the show, unless I had a day off school and could watch the 10 am repeat.

First, this amazing promo for Comedy Central with Bebe Neuwrith and Lewis Black, and he’s holding her purse.

Headlines: “A Glover and a Fighter”  - “Danny Glover can’t hail cab, claims ‘Riggs, I’m getting too old for this’.”  He saw five cabs in Harlem! Cab driver disagrees and says that he doesn’t refuse cab rides b/c “he’s on the duty”.

There’s a joke that Danny was on his way to record a “buckle up” recording for the New York Taxi and Limo commission when he wasn’t picked up. Vance DeGeneres does a recreation — which totally wouldn’t fly today.

Lowdown Dirty Seamus - Irish people offended by NBC’s “Leprechauns” miniseries. Rightfully so, they showed the ad over and over again during the World Series. I found one here during this Thursday night lineup set of commercials.

“Vance DeGeneres discusses people getting offended by Harry Potter” - “The Harry Potter series is popular as hell, and just as evil.” Is anything safe anymore? Green Eggs & Ham: gangsta rap. Goodnight moon, goodnight moral standards.

Other News: Live and Let Dive - Boxing taunted with fraud, boxers admit they’ve thrown fights. Nice Lean Mean Grilling Machine reference.

Interview: Roshumba Williams the supermodel, who came with her book “The Complete Dummies Guide to Becoming a Model”, which is in high standing for most 90s book ever. There’s a copy currently over at archive.org : https://archive.org/details/completeidiotsgu0000will_k0t0

This Just In: Spines Like Us: oldest vertebrae found in China.

The Public Excess segment is missing from my copy, but Comedy Central has us, for once. Pet the entertainer has a museum of sex? Ostaro the psychic tells Hillary to sleep on it, when concerning her senate run.

“It’s a good grill!”

--

The zine sale is still going on at my etsy shop, including my zine about my favorite episodes of Daily Show from 1999-2001!  Read some zines while you’re stuck at home. I don’t go back until April 4th. 

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[themurphyzone]

Oneshot: Sometimes Love Just Ain’t Enough

CAVENDISH AND DAKOTA KILLED ME. I AM DEAD ON THE INSIDE. SPOILERS FOR A CHRISTMAS PERIL.

I don't want to lose you,

Cavendish never wanted this to happen. One moment they were at the buffet, and the next they were screaming at each other. 

But I don't want to use you, just to have somebody by my side.

Dakota deserved better. A partner who wouldn’t hold him back, someone who knew how to unwind and have fun every once in a while. He was an emotional crutch now. 

But he couldn’t let go. Making up with Dakota was nothing more than a false hope. 

And I don't want to hate you,

Dakota may have irritated him from time to time, but Cavendish never truly hated him. He couldn’t. Not when Dakota was the only one who stuck by him no matter how badly he screwed up. 

Until today. The damage was irreversible. 

I don't want to take you, but I don't want to be the one to cry.

Soon Dakota would come back and apologize. The days passed, and there was nothing. No ‘good morning’, no ‘how are you’, no anything. 

Days became weeks, so Cavendish assumed he was out on an extra long mission. That was okay. So he needed some space. No big deal. 

Weeks became months, and Dakota became a celebrity. His schedule was probably full. 

Months turned into years, and Cavendish knew he would never come back. 

But he wouldn’t cry. Dakota was far happier without him. 

And I don't really matter to anyone anymore.

He had come to hate the holidays. Time for family to come together, time for festivities with loved ones. It was all just phony stuff designed to sell merchandise. 

There would be no one to celebrate with him. People would move on with their lives and forget about the useless old man who was trapped in the past. 

Time would move on. 

But he couldn’t. 

But like a fool I keep losing my place and

Some days were better than others. He would make tea, maybe go for a walk, then come back to a dingy apartment that he hesitated to call home. 

On those days, there seemed to be the tiny possibility of Dakota knocking on his door. 

And then the bad days inevitably came back, and he would curse himself for holding onto the faintest trace of hope. 

I keep seeing you walk through that door.

He was awoken by a sharp rapping. Cavendish thought he was hallucinating, but it sounded again. Quickly throwing on a coat, he grabbed his cane and hobbled to the door as quickly as he could. 

He could barely breathe. It was Dakota. He’d finally come back! And they could make up for years of lost time. Dakota could pick the place. He didn’t care anymore. 

With some trepidation, Cavendish opened the door. 

“You’re behind on rent. Care to explain?” 

It wasn’t him. He was only fooling himself. 

There's a danger in loving somebody too much,

Blind dating was an experience he had no wish to repeat again. Who did these people think they were, trying to replace Dakota? 

Love was dangerous. It clouded his judgement and filled his mind with wild fantasies that had a snowball’s chance in hell of being realistic. 

And it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.

He didn’t trust himself to make the right decisions. It was easy to lie and say he made purely objective choices. 

But the truth would come out. 

He was broken and there was no way to fix it. 

There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.

He would gladly take failing mission after mission if it meant he could still have a partnership with Dakota. 

But Dakota needed more. Deserved more. 

And he had to respect his choices, even if he didn’t like it. 

Baby, sometimes love just ain't enough.

If you loved someone, you would let them go. 

Did it count if he stormed off before he had a chance to tell them how much he meant to him? Before he could swallow his pride and spit it out? 

Love was supposed to be the solution for everything. 

Except when it wasn’t. 

And he was alone on a cold winter’s night. There would be no warm body to cuddle, no one to watch the lights with. 

He was truly alone. 

[lollipopprincess]

Get To Know Me

Get to Know Me

1. What is you middle name? Starts with an I and I share it with my grandmother. 2. How old are you? Just turned 23 3. When is your birthday? May 10th 4. What is your zodiac sign? Taurus 5. What is your favorite color? Pink and Red 6. What’s your lucky number? 6 7. Do you have any pets? Yes, a dog (Clara) and 3 cats (Chili, Rachel and Marie) 8. Where are you from? California 9. How tall are you? Gosh umm....like 5′5 or so? 10. What shoe size are you? I feel like it always changes. Between a 7 and a half and a 9 lol.  11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? I own more than I wear. I prob own 6 or 7 pairs and I only wear 2 or 3. 12. What was your last dream about? My baby cousins lol.  13. What talents do you have? People say im good at writing=) 14. Are you psychic in any way? I predicted that someone was going to have a baby and get married very close together for someone and both happened.  15. Favorite song? For now its “Light”- Sleeping At Last 16. Favorite movie? The new Cinderella or the new Beauty and the Beast 17. Who would be your ideal partner? Someone who is sweet, loving, funny, and loves me for exactly who I am, the good and the bad. Someone whos there for me when I need them the most.  18. Do you want children? Absolutely! 19. Do you want a church wedding? Yeah, I think so.  20. Are you religious? A little, I don’t follow a set religion though.  21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Oh sure.  22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Nope. 23. Have you ever met any celebrities? Met Patty Duke when I was maybe 14/15? She was playing Madam Morrible in Wicked and our friends knew her so they arranged a meeting afterwards.  24. Baths or showers? Baths. 25. What color socks are you wearing? No socks. I WAS wearing pink socks earlier. 26. Have you ever been famous? HA! no.  27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? Sometimes, I feel like it could be fun. But other times I think of how you’d have no privacy, you wouldn’t always know who your real friends are, and I would hate having my family and children getting bombarded by the media all the time.  28. What type of music do you like? Anything but rap and those teeny bopper bands. 29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Nope. 30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 1 or 2. 31. What position do you usually sleep in? On my stomach, only way I can sleep. 32. How big is your house? 3 bedrooms, 2 baths. 33. What do you typically have for breakfast? Nothing. On some weekend days, I make myself pancakes or french toast. 34. Have you ever fired a gun? BB gun, not real gun. 35. Have you ever tried archery? No but I’d kinda like to. 36. Favorite clean word? Enchanting 37. Favorite swear word? Feel like I use “shit” a lot lol. 38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? Uh 2 days maybe. 39. Do you have any scars? One on my back from a surgery. 40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? Not that I know of. 41. Are you a good liar? I can be. 42. Are you a good judge of character? I think so. 43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? British sorta lol. 44. Do you have a strong accent? I dont think so but someone who isnt from Cali may think so. 45. What is your favorite accent? I don’t know lol=) 46. What is your personality type? INFJ 47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? Ummmm.....I think its an Anne Boleyn replica costume from the Tudors. Its prob 150 dollars....Maybe? 48. Can you curl your tongue? No. 49. Are you an innie or an outie? innie 50. Left or right handed? Right 51. Are you scared of spiders? YES! 52. Favorite food? Spaghetti and Meatballs 53. Favorite foreign food? I dont know. 54. Are you a clean or messy person? Somewhere in the middle. I’m not super clean and neat, but i’m def. not messy. 55. Most used phrased? “You know” 56. Most used word? “like”, although I hate to admitt it. 57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 35/40 min.  58. Do you have much of an ego? Eh, not really. 59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Both. 60. Do you talk to yourself? Sometimes when im trying to organize something.  61. Do you sing to yourself? Yes 62. Are you a good singer? I hope so, some people have said so. 63. Biggest Fear? Being alone or lonely. 64. Are you a gossip? Sorta lol. 65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? Uhhh...Hmmm... “My Girl” was pretty good, so was “Boy in the Stipped Pajamas”. The latter was a lot darker of course.  66. Do you like long or short hair? Long 67. Can you name all 50 states of America? California, Arizona, Nevada, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Utah, Washington, Oregon, Kansas, Kentucky, Texas, New York, New Hampshire, Maryland, Delaware, Washington D.C, Maine, North Dakota, South Dakota, Alabama, North Carolina, South Carolina, Massachusetts, Missouri, Mississippi, New Mexico, Minesota, Hawaii, Alaska, New York, Wyoming.....Now im blanking lol. Shit, I only got 33 lol.  68. Favorite school subject? English 69. Extrovert or Introvert? Introvert 70. Have you ever been scuba diving? No, cant swim 71. What makes you nervous? Pretty much everything lol. I don’t like being in groups very much because i worry i’ll say something dumb or people wont like me. I typically like to hang out one on one with someone. 72. Are you scared of the dark? Sometimes. 73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Eh sometimes.  74. Are you ticklish? Prob.  75. Have you ever started a rumor? No. 76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Like maybe a line leader in Kindergarten lol.  77. Have you ever drank underage? No, not into that. 78. Have you ever done drugs? No, not into that. 79. Who was your first real crush? Guy named Tre in 4th grade. 80. How many piercings do you have? None.  81. Can you roll your Rs?“ I dont think so lol.  82. How fast can you type? Mom says I type fast but I only use a few fingers, I dont use my whole hands.  83. How fast can you run? Not fast.  84. What color is your hair? Brown 85. What color is your eyes? Brown 86. What are you allergic to? Pollen=(  87. Do you keep a journal? Yes. 88. What do your parents do? Dad’s a doctor, mom doesn’t work.  89. Do you like your age? Yeah, its okay I guess.  90. What makes you angry? When people cancel plans or are late OR when they are bad communicators. 91. Do you like your own name? I like my first and last name, not wild about my middle name.  92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? Yes; Kayla Elizabeth, Esmerelda Victoria, Presley James, Julien Alexander 93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? I feel bad saying this, but i’ve wanted a daughter since I was a little girl. I just feel like I’d connect better to a daughter and I would want her to grow up similar to how I did. I would love any child i’m ever lucky to have, but I do hope at least one of them is a girl.  94. What are you strengths? I’m really compassionate and understanding towards others.  95. What are your weaknesses? I get jealous and sometimes overanalys things. I also don’t stand up for myself because I dont want others to get upset at me.  96. How did you get your name? My first name is one of my great grandmother’s names, my middle name is my mom’s mom’s name.  97. Were your ancestors royalty? I had a distant uncle named Black Hugh, he was some king or duke, not entirely sure. My dad said he was really cruel but I researched him and from what little I found, he was one of Mary Queen of Scott’s closest friends.  98. Do you have any scars? Yes, you asked this already. 99. Color of your bedspread? Pink floral.  100. Color of your room? White for now, pink at our new house.