#the one thing homura wants is to get it right for madoka at last | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lovingherrscher · 1 year

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Rebellion - 叛逆の物語

Warning: Contains spoilers of Madoka Magica the Movie: Rebellion, so read at your own risk!

Note: I was really lost that whether I should post this here or not, since this is a very, very old work of mine. I wrote this about 3 years ago I think? Well I did it anyway, please enjoy this! What was I thinking when I wrote this you may ask? I always wanted to make a scenario where I can take Dazai out and see my all-time favorite series, up till now it’s still got some pretty heavy impact on me, so I whipped this up randomly, I couldn’t recall how did I manage to go this far. Again, I’m sorry if there’s any grammar mistakes, or in some case did I make Dazai seems OOC.

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It's been a while since you two have a movie night, and since both of you got the day off tomorrow, Dazai decided that tonight will be movie night. He texted you to choose the movie on the way home and he'll prepare the popcorn and stuffs. It didn't take too long for you to answer, instead of popcorn, you told him to prepare some tissues and hot chocolate with marshmallows. Dazai was surprised, usually you'd be the one who ask for popcorn, but maybe you just want some change once in a while.

When you're back, everything is already set up. Dazai even place a few extra pillows around the sofa too, so you won't be sore even if you fell asleep. It's about 7pm, the perfect time to start. Yes, you two skipped dinner for movie night. You inserted the disk then went back to the sofa with Dazai.

Puella Magi Madoka Magica

"A magical girl anime? Now that's rare. Why did you choose this, (y/n)?"

"I just wanted to share some new things with you, Dazai. Is there anything wrong?"

"Nothing, let us get back to the movie, shall we?"

The first, then the second episode passed, everything seems normal, at least it was until the third episode. That part when Mami confessed that she wasn't all reliable and that she was only forcing herself to man up made you cry, even though it's the third or fourth time you seen it.

"I don't deserve anyone's admiration."

"I'm just forcing myself to man up."

Eventually, you two reached the eighth episode, where Sayaka lost herself and let the despair take her, so that she became a Witch. It took more than just a box of tissues and hot chocolate for you to calm.

"When wishing for someone's happiness, someone must be cursed in order to keep the balance."

"The balance between hope and despair remains at zero."

"That's how us Magical Girls work."

"I'm...such an idiot."

No matter how many times you seen this scene, it always manage to strike you right in the heart. You could say that you can understand the Holy Quintet's pain. To Mami, it was loneliness, to Sayaka, it was the feeling when you realized you've done everything for the man you love, but ended up didn't have the courage to tell him about how you feel, to Kyoko, it was the guilt when you did something you thought it'd be good but then fucked up. To Madoka, it was a bit lack of self-confident and sacrifice because of the wants to help everyone ends their suffering. Last, but not least, to Homura, it was the burning desire to protect the one you love, using every methods you have to, even if it was the cruelest thing you ever did.

Dazai stays silent as you two reached the next episode, when Kyoko took Madoka to fought against Oktavia, hoping they could get Sayaka back. There was that line Kyoko said, in the Witch's barrier that made Dazai remember his old days back in the Dark Era, when he was still a mafia executive.

"Only people who have been forced into a corner would do this kind of job that disregards their lives."

He, too, wasn't given a choice. Joining the Mafia was his only choice then. Mori took him under his wings and trained him to be an exact copy of him, so Dazai could one day took the position of being the Mafia Boss. He despise both that man, and himself, who would have become an another him if it wasn't for his friend's death.

Those who've been forced into a corner, huh? It's true that there are many people joined the Mafia almost being forced. For example, himself, Kyouka, Chuuya, and the Akutagawa siblings too. They do the kind of job that disregards their lives, knowing they could die any moment if their guard was left down. Well, again, if it wasn't for Odasaku's death, he wouldn't have left the Mafia and would probably be the Boss now.

"Hey Dazai? Are you alright? You have been staring into space for twenty minutes already.."

The sound of (y/n) calling for him pulled him back to the reality, where the movie was stopped and she was looking at him worried. Dazai just pat her head, saying that he's fine and reach for the remote to continue. It was getting late, but neither of you want to stop, so you wrapped the blanket around the both of you and leaned your head on his shoulder as you two continue watching Madoka.

"As long as you protect the one you want, to protect them to the very end is enough."

Why? They're just little girls, right? If that's the case why did they understand life that much as if they've been living for a really long time? Dazai didn't want to admit it, but he feels as if he is going to cry. Their words lingered in his head, reminding him of his past, those were the days that he wanted to forget for good. After Oda died, he went to Lupin almost everyday like a basis, drink until he's drop and then went back to his empty apartment, passed out on his bed before waking up middle of the night because of nightmares.

The tenth episode, which explain pretty much everything about Homura strikes both of them. That part when Homura fell into despair and began to imagine when she and Madoka became Witches, just right after when they battled Walpurgis Night.

"Hey.. How about the two of us become monsters like that, and ruin the entire world."

"Taking bad things, sad things, and wiping all of it clean."

"Destroy. Destroy. Destroy without end. Don't you think that's good too?"

She was desperate to the point that she had thought about becoming a Witch wouldn't be that bad. She can keep on destroying things, no matter it's good things, bad things, sad things, or happy things. Why did it have to become like this? They were so young and pure and filled with hope and dreams.. Just like him. At least before he tried committing suicide.

"I promise!"

"I'll definitely save you!"

"No matter how many times I go back! I'll always protect you!"

It risen a thought in his head, he wondered that if he was gifted with time-manipulation power, would he choosen the path like Homura did to save Odasaku? No matter how many times he have to go back, and probably see him die. Would he still be able to feel anything? Or would he became numb and eventually give in to the despair? No, the real question is, will he be strong enough to choose that path. Homura may looks fragile and weak, even a bit timid, but she was the strongest one. Normal people wouldn't be themselves after seeing their important person dies right in front of their eyes without being able to do anything once, left alone times after times.

"I don't want to be a Witch."

"Although I've seen terrible and bad things, there are still many things I want to protect in this world."

Strangely, this reminds him of his deceased friend. He was always the one looking on the bright side of the problem. Why did he have to die? He was in the Mafia, yet he refused to kill anyone. But everything changes when Mimic came. Because of them, Mori thought of a way to use him like a pawn to get the license, and ended up dragging the innocents in. He couldn't forget how he looks when the owner of the diner dies along with his adopted children. If it wasn't for him that founded out about Ango, then things probably wouldn't go this way, and Oda would still be alive by now.

"Madoka. If someone came to tempt you with miracles, never be manipulated by them!"

"There's no one to rely on anymore."

"There's no need for anyone to understand."

This.. Feels so familiar. He didn't need anyone to understand the circumstances he was going through. He can't rely on anyone as well. How can he possibly tell them? Would they understand anyway? So there's no need to do such a thing. It'll only be a waste of time.

"Return."

"No matter how many times, I will always choose to return. Repeating the same period of time over and over again, searching for the only exit. For you.. A path out of the destiny of despair."

Will there be a timeline, or a world out there where Oda is still alive, and was able to achieved his dream to become a writer and have his novel published? All of the sudden, he wanted to become a little girl and find that Incubator creature, so he can form a contract with him just to see his friend once again. To see him living the life he had always been wanting. A Mafia non-related life, staying in a house with his room that can see the sea clearly, even in days with bad weathers, writing novels, maybe having one or a few cats. But..

"Why does she fight and risk everything?"

"Because she's still pursuing hope."

"No matter how many times, she refuse to quit; therefore repeating this meaningless and endless cycle."

"To her, stopping is equivalent to giving up."

"As long as she believes there's still hope, she can't be saved?"

After the series ended, you two had a short break before continue with the third movie, Rebellion. You simply said that it was the best thing that ever happened in this entire series to Homura. Was that she finally reached Madoka and get to see her again? He can't know.

At the beginning, it makes Dazai wondered was this an alternative universe where they can all live happily. But things aren't that simple, when Homura's journey to find the truth begun. When she regained her memories about Witches, their barriers and her previous battle against them, even about Madoka becoming a God to save every magical girls and she, along with Tatsuya, are the only ones whose memories of Madoka remained.

Her battle with Mami reminds him of when Oda and Gide fought. No magic, no abilities, just pure skills and weapon. But in the end, Mami still have the upper hand. The way she used her ribbons to tie Homura reminds him of the third episode in the series, when she was about to go against Charlotte, Homura did offer to help her, since Mami was lack the experiences and aren't strong enough to deal with such a strong Witch. She ended up losing her head.

"Would you really be okay destroying this Mitakihara City? You should think hard on that before you decide. So you won't have any regrets."

That was what Sayaka asked her. Since she had became a Witch, she would know how it feels like when the despair swallow you whole, filled your veins and become the blood that flows inside your body. Regrets. Pain. Desperate. It feels like your body became the vessel for every single negative emotions out there.

"It really hurts me to see you suffering so much and being unable to do anything about it."

"You see, I had a really scary dream."

"In it, you had gone to a place so far away that I had no chance of seeing you again. And everyone else in the world forgot all about you. Only I could remember you in the whole wide world!"

"I was so lonely and sad. But no one could understand how I felt. Surrounded by that, I started thinking my memories of you were things I'd made up. And I began doubting myself."

It reminds him of when Oda died, almost no one remember or know who he is. To the outsiders, he's just an unknown man. To the members of the Mafia, he's just a low-level member that they don't need to care about. But to him, and maybe Ango too, he was a friend. An important friend who enlightened their paths and their souls. He was luckier, that he didn't doubt himself, because there was something that proves Oda really exist is always with him. The photo they took together for the last time in Lupin, just a day before the storm.

"But you see, I became a magical girl solely to save Madoka. And that holds truth until now."

"So this is a Witch. My emotions have all come back to haunt me."

"I can't remember anything but glimmers of light and regret."

"Ah.. So this is my despair."

He cried. Dazai cried for the first time watching it. He didn't notice tears were rolling down his cheeks until you pulled him in your arms, holding him tight, pecking his forehead and caress his cheeks in the gentlest way possible. You said that it's okay to cry and let it out like this. You wanted to show him this because Homura reminds you of him in many ways. He needn't to ask for the reason, since he had witnessed it already.

"Despite her appearance, she's the most hurt."

You told Dazai that, the first time you saw him, you didn't think he'd be broken this badly. The truth that everyone thinks that way. He seems to be a happy-go-lucky guy and knows how to irritated serious people, lazy and likes to play around. But inside, he suffered from many things. Ghosts of the past that reminds him of the days in the Mafia, his shadow which guilt-trip him over every single small things happened, his anxiety that caused him to fear for failure therefore he has to think of every single possible that can or may happen to deal with them. Yet people think he is the genius, back when he was in the Mafia, he was called "The Demon Prodigy" because all of his plans worked. But they know nothing about him and what he is suffering from.

"I have to die in this world."

Yes. He has to die. That's what he has been thinking ever since a long, long time before. He had countless suicide attempts, yet none of them succeed. They all failed. Why is that he can't die? Why is that the world is trying to prevent him from dying to atone for his sins?

"I had a sickening dream. A dream where you were dead."

"Because I actually do have one regret. The fact that I left you behind."

He cried again, did Odasaku has any regrets when he died? If he had, then what would it be? You turned to him, whispering that he wouldn't want you to die and his regrets probably was that he left him behind all alone back then.

"That's no good, Homura."

"I told you that you shouldn't go off by yourself."

"No matter what happens, you'll always be you, Homura. And I would never abandon you. So don't give up."

"I'm sorry.. I'm so spineless.. I wanted to see you one more time.. And if I had to go so far as to betray that wish.."

"That's right, I knew I could shoulder any sin. No matter what I became, I knew I'd be fine with it. As long as I could have you by my side."

This.. He only wanted to see his friend again.. But it's impossible. He almost screamed due to his emotional burst out.

"Why did such a good person have to die? Why didn't I the one who dies instead?"

You simply pat his head, pulling him closer and embraced him tightly.

"It's alright. I'll always be here for you. No matter what happens, you'll always be you, and I would never abandon you or stop loving you. I love you, Dazai. So please, don't let the ghosts from the past get to you.. No. I won't let them get to you. I swear that I, (y/n) will bring you happiness with my own hands! Even if I have to turn myself into a mere concept, I will still take all those despair from you, I will be your only God that brings happiness."

He was stunned. There hasn't been a single person who has said something like that to him. He was touched. Even though you two have been dating for quite a while already but he had never heard such a bold decision from you. Immediately, Dazai pulled you into a tight hug, his face buried in your neck.

"Thank you, (y/n).. I couldn't imagine how I'd become or what I'd become if you didn't come into my life. You don't have to go that far just to make me happy, all you have to do is stay by my side, that's more than enough already."

You kissed him before getting back on the ending of Rebellion. You knew what was coming, and you're sure Dazai would be surprise by it.

"It was not even curse that soiled my Soul Gem."

"It's the pinnacle of all human emotions. More passionate than hope, far deeper than despair. It's love."

"She was as sacred as a god, and I couldn't help but pull her from heaven and undermine her."

"A being that perform such threat could only be called a demon, I suppose?"

He smirked, paused the movie before turned to you, who was dumbfounded of what just happened.

"(Y/n), did you just say that you'll be my God?"

"Yes..? What's wrong with that, Dazai?"

"Oh, there is. Because I'm a demon that couldn't help but pull you down from heaven and make you mine, forever."

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To be continued...?

#yoha writes #bsd dazai #dazai x reader #dazai osamu x reader #bungo stray dogs dazai #Dazai Osamu #some old bsd and madoka brainrot #dazai x you #dazai x y/n #bsd x reader #bsd x you

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remimibanana · 4 months

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OZ Comic Con Adelaide 2024 Report!

I had the wonderful opportunity of attending OZ Comic Con in Adelaide for the whole weekend with my good friend Pie (@piedivide!)!

It was a very fun weekend filled with so many things across both days that I have to write down before I forget!

I cosplayed Herta and Pie cosplayed Welt Yang, both from Honkai: Star Rail! These are our first cosplays for the year and we put in a lot of work into our wig styling, makeup and more!

All under the cut!

Day 1: Saturday

I woke up at 7am, ready to start preparing for the convention! I wanted to get there by 11am!

Admittedly, I struggled a lot more than I should have while doing so, which caused me to come around 12pm instead...

I was really busy throughout the whole week prior to the con trying to finish my assignments since it’s the end of the semester and uh…I didn’t have a chance to practice putting on the cosplay or my makeup before Day 1.

Not good, I know.

To make matters worse, a safety pin holding up the chain decided to break randomly behind the lock. I had to fix that somehow while trying to get everything to look right…

I managed at the end!

My mum helped me out with my makeup and putting on things! I couldn't have done it all without her.

Herta’s shoes were not comfortable at all to walk in since they have heels, but I decided to wear them until I arrived at the convention since it was a part of the cosplay! I wanted to show off the whole look to all!

(I paid a lot of money for them as well aha)

I slightly regretted that decision, since I wore the sneakers I brought with me for the whole entire con and the fact that my feet were hurting after walking for less than ten minutes. I think shoes are great for photos but some aren't practical to wear around all day....

Anyway!

I got to the station first and waited around for Pie to arrive once I gave them the signal...after I fixed my hat that fell off randomly that may or may not have taken 15 minutes….

Don’t ask. I’m sorry ;;

We decided that I would wait for him to come to the station since last time, they arrived at the same time as me. We also decided to wait until the con to see each other’s cosplays for the first time!

I remember seeing from afar the outline of Welt Yang on top of the escalators coming down towards me and immediately, I was filled with a sense of excitement! They kept coming closer and closer to me and I kept smiling like an absolute idiot.

Pie’s cosplay was so good, as I proceeded to say multiple times to his face! I especially loved the wig, they put a lot of effort into making it look amazing!

He totally blew my mind, in a good way! They were slaying Welt Yang and I hope he knows that!

To my surprise, Pie had not one but TWO things for me which made me very happy! I didn’t expect anything from them!

A Dan Heng headband and a Herta pin?! Thank you once again, Pie!!!

We headed to the convention via a train that takes us to the Adelaide Showgrounds directly! We didn’t see any cosplayers on the train, but we did see some as soon as we arrived!

In fact, a car stopped in the middle of driving as we were walking to the entrance and the people inside complimented our cosplays! It was the first time that sort of situation ever happened to us!

It felt so cool.

There were these Goddess Madoka and Demon Homura cosplayers that made me freak out so much upon seeing them in the distance since I'm a huge fan of PMMM.

Pie and I originally bought only Saturday passes since we initially were going to only attend Day 1 and then use Sunday as the day we took pictures and videos together. This changed when we saw that there was a Star Rail cosplay meetup at 11am on Day 2.

Of course, it was on the Sunday that we weren’t going to at an early time…I informed Pie of this as soon as I mentioned that the schedule was out for the convention.

If we knew beforehand, we would have bought a weekend pass in the first place. Unfortunately, the schedule came out with about a week until the con.

We were also worried we wouldn’t be able to buy tickets at the early bird prices if we waited. Perhaps, buying early isn’t a good idea at times...

After some quick deliberation on our parts, we decided to upgrade to Weekend passes! We couldn’t miss this chance to meet other cosplayers who also like HSR! We read online that we could do so at the front desk upon arriving at the convention on the FAQ.

That was our plan upon getting there, but it didn’t go as smoothly as we thought. The Help Desk was where we were directed to when we asked about upgrading them, but none of the people at the desk were able to help us.

We had to wait until another person came from their lunch break who knew how to do it. We wandered around for a little bit, coming back a few times to see the same people still at the desk. The person we needed came eventually and helped us both out without any trouble!

With our Weekend passes and the bands on us nice and secure, we could finally start our Day 1…once I went to the bathroom.

I had to take off my large black coat my mum kindly gave me and pack things away. I wanted a mirror so I could see how my wig was fairing and remove those Herta shoes.

It was a lovely thought from my mum, but I shouldn’t have brought it with me. It was so thick that it took all the space in my Fuwamoco tote bag I had with me despite how warm it was.

I also regretted bringing my backpack, especially with Herta’s long hair. It was such a hassle pulling it off and putting it on….I didn't even start the day and I already had so many regrets slowly piling up behind me.

We could NOW start our day!

We walked around mostly for Day 1, seeing what the convention had and admiring cosplays!

There were a lot of people everywhere!

There were scribble walls you could draw on freely and people truly did draw some amazing things….Dio Brando face Peppa wasn’t what I expected at all.

People complemented our cosplays and asked for photos! It made me so happy, it meant we were doing something right with them! We were going to buy prints for each other and take professional photos, but we decided to leave that for Day 2.

I saw this Void Drifter Kiana Kaslana figure and immediately freaked out since it was the first Honkai Impact 3rd related thing I ever saw!

It cost like $300 bucks, which I so would have bought if I didn't have to buy my next cosplay. The first photos I took of it were so shaky because I was too excited lol

I just was happy to see anything HI3.

Time to showcase all the amazing cosplayers I got photos with for Day 1! Thank you for taking a photo with me!

Wriothesley (@cypher_cosplay on Instagram) and Neuvillette (@edenzcosplay on Instagram)!!!!

Me looking like some kind of NPC because I didn’t know what pose to do 🧍‍♂️

Both of their cosplays look amazing! I was the first to notice Neuvillette, and then Pie noticed Wriothesley! Pie sort of walked straight up to them wanting a photo and I just followed along like a lost puppy haha

They were both very kind!

Kafka (@s.jn_jack on Instagram)!!!

It was them who came up to us first, saying how he liked our cosplay! Pie and I saw their cosplay while walking around and I remember being really happy seeing a Kafka cosplayer!

This was his first cosplay as they told us and they did amazing for their first time!!

Sparkle (@_.emmet._t on Instagram)!!!

I remember seeing her while walking and being happy that there was a Sparkle cosplayer here! There were many HSR cosplayers on Day 1 including us, much to my surprise!

Such a pretty cosplay, I absolutely love it! I feel like they captured the personality and idea of Sparkle so well!

Madoka and Homura (@sonickyx on Instagram)!!!!

These are the ones I saw when I got to the convention!

I wanted to take a photo with them but I was such a sissy that it took me forever to do so. I’ve never been good at asking for any photos since I'm a little shy, but I wanted to try!

Every time I attempted to, they seemed busy and I’d hate to interrupt anyone if they're doing something. It took way longer than it should have, but I did it at the end!

Their cosplays are so pretty!

...

If you can tell throughout these pictures…my wig was slowly falling off throughout the day. I didn’t even notice until I realised when we took some of the photos together with the cosplayers and I uh...couldn't really do anything about it then.

I was stupid and didn’t properly secure the wig cap or my wig, even though I was going to with bobby pins in the first place. Don’t be like me.

I thought it was going to stay in place ;;

It was one of the reasons why we left certain things like the photography to Day 2, although I felt bad because Pie seemed to really want to take photos, despite them reassuring me that it was okay.

Another was that I was a little unsatisfied with my makeup because I was too afraid of using my eyeliner I bought. I’ve never used it before that point and didn’t want to poke my eyes out before the convention. I wanted to take nice professional photos I could be proud of, you know?

Don't worry, I learnt my lesson for Day 2. Day 1 was like a trial day for me, which I wished wasn't the case but you live and learn! I was still happy with my cosplay overall!

After some more walking around, we felt like we did everything we could do and see for Day 1! We left at around 3:30pm and headed back to the city since we planned to do Karaoke at 6pm for two hours!

There was this little place I mentioned to Pie that I saw on Friday where they sold Katsudon that we could go to for food if they were open! It was in the station, in the underground pass that I always have walked through since I was a kid.

Pie and I went to check it out, but it was closed…Google said it would open at 5pm, so we wandered around Rundle Mall to pass the time in our wonderful cosplays. Walking around in cosplay while not at a convention is a scary experience.

People always stare at you no matter what and are probably silently judging you from afar. It wasn’t as daunting as I thought it would be though, but that’s because I had the Welt Yang by my side. It's always better when you have a friend!

On the way to Rundle Mall, we got stopped by these two people who complemented our cosplays! It was sort of out of the blue, but it was very welcomed! Pie was the one who mostly talked to the both of them, I was sort of just there smiling and nodding.

We came back at 5pm….only to realise that Google is a liar and the restaurant is only open late on Tuesdays and Thursdays. We missed one of the signs literally in front of us that told us this fact….

At this point, everything was pretty much closed or about to close as well since it was the weekend. Why didn't they update Google with this vital piece of information?!

I blame Google for this mishap.

We headed back to Rundle Mall in defeat, and decided upon a place that sold sushi and various other foods! It was one of the places that were still open. I got Takoyaki, a Karrage Chicken Skewer and a Prawn Katsu Skewer! It was pretty good, although I wish there was more of it.

Pie got the same, but instead of the prawn he got a salt and pepper skewer. The person who served us was very kind and complemented our cosplays in fact!

So many complements, and it was only Day 1!

Once we ate, we had to wait around until the Karaoke place was open in the cold for a while. I was freezing since I didn’t put on my coat and Herta's outfit isn't that warm. I know I should have, but it would have been such a pain taking it out of the tote bag.

The Karaoke place opened earlier than expected actually once we started heading down there, so we went right in! We sang many songs, and it was loads of fun!

I had a whole list of songs that I prepared for this day, but I still struggled to choose what to sing....

If you ever sing karaoke with me, it will always take me forever to actually choose something as a warning. I feel like I don't know too many songs fully that well, so I always mess up aha

I think my favourite song I sang was Cyberangel! I love Bronya a lot and the song is an absolute banger!

I took off my wig and my wig cap in the middle of it all because it was about to fall off completely and I couldn’t handle it anymore. Once 8pm hit, that was it!

The whole time, I was holding a wig in my hands as I headed back home on the train. I took everything immediately off without even batting an eye as soon as I came home, brushing out my wig that became super messy.

I didn’t go to sleep until after midnight.

Day 2: Sunday

I woke up at 5:30am because of the meetup….the things we do for cosplay.

This time around, I knew what I was doing and was able to be ready by 9am!

Unlike Day 1, I did my makeup all by myself!

I managed to put on the eyeliner without getting any into my eye somehow and look decent! For someone who’s never done it before…it’s kind of incredible.

The whole time I was doing it, I called myself a tensai (genius) for being able to do this lmao

My mum told me how she managed to get eyeliner in her eye when she first started but it really wasn’t that hard…I think she tried to scare me off from doing this my whole life. Actually….my right eye is thicker than my left eye, but you can’t tell with my glasses for the most part.

For my wig, I pinned the absolute crap out of the wig cap and the wig itself. It may have been a bit overkill using every single bobby pin I had, but it’s better to be safe than sorry! It worked pretty well, if I do say so myself. It didn’t move at all, not once during the entire day even while I was outside.

Instead of packing my backpack like Day 1, I just packed everything into my tote bag! It was much easier to manage! I also wore a thinner jacket and put on my sneakers first! This whole setup worked way better for me.

This time around, Pie came to the station right away since we had to take a train that was about 10 minutes after when I would arrive in order to get to the convention by the time the meetup started. For the whole time, I was convinced that the train was coming at 10:27am and I wasn’t going to make it, but I was looking at the wrong schedule….

And then we were at the wrong platform too once I got there…

Point is, we found where we were meant to go and got onto the train when it came!

The train had some cosplayers this time around, so we felt right at home! It seemed like Sunday was the more popular day for the convention, which makes sense with more people being potentially free on this day.

Getting into the convention was easy since we had our weekend passes, one simple flash of our bands and we could waltz right in without any trouble!

We headed straight for the meetup area! It was at the very back of the convention area, near the bathrooms and food area filled with loads of tables and chairs.

To our surprise and confusion, there was no one really there for what was meant to be the HSR meetup. It was oddly empty, spare for a few random cosplayers. I saw a Silver Wolf cosplayer nearby, but that was the only other HSR cosplayer around. We definitely didn’t go to the wrong place since there was a whole sign there with the schedule…

We took a seat at a table, deciding to wait for more people to show up hopefully. I took off my jacket and Pie kindly put it in their tote bag since I had no space in mine…thank you again, Pie!

The Silver Wolf cosplayer ran straight up to us and asked for a photo right after we finished with all that!

I was so surprised, I didn’t expect for them to come to us so quickly wanting a photo!

They were so nice and kind! Their wig was amazing, it looked so accurate from the back!

And then an Aventurine cosplayer (@myki.cosplay on Instagram) came up to us as well, and we all took photos together! He looked amazing as well!

Me again with my NPC pose 🧍‍♂️

One of the staff members informed us that there was no meetup in fact, there were some others here earlier but they left for some reason. It was a bit disappointing to hear.

They then asked if they could take a photo of all of us for the convention, and we obliged of course! I think I stood like an NPC again because I had no pose ideas…I have no clue how it came out.

I suppose we shall find out!

Pie and I waited for a bit longer after that, to see if anyone else would appear. It sucked because we were excited for the meetup and the idea of meeting new people!

Alas…there was no more HSR cosplayers.

People kept coming and going, but we knew that it was all done. It felt like we got up early and came all this way for nothing. It was the only reason we came on Day 2…but we didn’t let that dampen anything!

After a while, we decided to continue our journey around the convention. Our main agenda was getting some food since we both skipped breakfast in favor of getting ready.

We passed by the Just Dance area, and I literally stopped in place at the sight in front of me. It took me less than a second to see them.

THERE WAS BRONYA AND SEELE COSPLAYERS RIGHT THERE. HONKAI IMPACT 3RD COSPLAYERS AT MY CONVENTION HUH??????????

ESPECIALLY TWO OF MY FAVOURITE OUTFITS FOR THEM????????

BRONSEELE?????

I didn’t expect to see any HI3 cosplayers since it isn’t as popular as Genshin or HSR unfortunately, so I freaked the heck out!

Pie freaked out too, more so for the Johnny and Gyro cosplayers from JoJo Part 7! They looked very cool, even though I only recognize them vaguely since I’ve seen them before online. They were waiting in line to do Just Dance, while the two of us just stared in awe while trying to process these sheer facts.

We decided to wait for them to finish, and then ask for a photo!

I know I’m not good at asking for them, but there was no way I could miss this chance. It was very fun watching Seele dance! Bronya was recording it all!

Seele (@vinfartsanji on Instagram) and Bronya (@s7kun4 on Instagram)!!!!

Johnny and Gyro (@sonickyx on Instagram) were the same cosplayers who did Madoka and Homura on Day 1!!!!

Pie was the one who asked for a photo of them all together first, then I asked for a picture with Bronya and Seele while Pie asked for Johnny and Gyro! I never felt so confident in my life, although I did stutter a bit.

I mentioned how I loved their Bronya and Seele cosplays and they were happy that I was a HI3 fan and that we needed more HI3 recognition and cosplays at conventions!

I absolutely agree with them! I’m going to cosplay HI3 at some point in the near future! If you can’t tell, I’m a bit of a HI3 fanatic who likes the game a little too much.

They were all very lovely and kind! I’m so glad they were here, and that we were able to see them!

I was over the moon, completely all because of their presence! Day 2 became my favourite day. And it kept only getting better!

We continued our walk around the convention, until we looped back around to the back where the meetup area was once more. There was a scribble wall nearby, where there were many people drawing whatever they wanted.

I saw a very familiar behind at the wall drawing, and I literally blurted out of nowhere:

“Is that…Elysia????”

She turned towards us a bit and I freaked out so much, it really was a Elysia cosplayer in her Flamechaser outfit! I already was so happy with Bronya and Seele, so I could have died there and then for real. I was winning so hard!!!

ELYSIA COSPLAYER AS WELL????? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS TREAT???????

ELYSIA AT MY ANIME CONVENTION RIGHT HERE????

My freaking out was cut a little short when a staff member, a lovely older lady, came up to us informing that we can take a marker and draw something as well. I took a purple one since I was Herta and purple is sort of her colour.

I continued my freaking out after she left, still in utter disbelief that there were THREE HI3 cosplayers here in this convention on this one day. I had to get a photo. It’s Elysia after all! One of my absolute favourites!

We waited until she finished her drawing, trying not to stare directly at her too weirdly. There was a short moment when we were just staring at each other after she finished, and I went up to her bravely since I had her attention.

I asked for a photo, and I told them her how much I Ioved her Elysia cosplay. That’s when she ran to her friend in utter happiness, so glad that someone recognized her!

I found it very adorable. I think it must feel amazing for someone to recognize who you are, especially if you're cosplaying from a fandom that isn't as popular (but it should be!!!).

Elysia (@_lumistar.cos on Instagram)!!!

I got a photo with her, copying the classic Elysia pose because I had no ideas for myself. Pie also got a photo as well! After that, I was so giddy that I couldn't stop thinking about it all! I felt like my life was complete, you know?

We went up to the scribble wall since we had those markers still in hand, and left a little doodle! I didn’t take any pictures of it, but I drew a small Herta!

Pie then found the lovely older lady who gave us the markers to return them, and we had a lovely conversation about how her daughter loves HSR and how even she was interested in playing the game!

She even asked for photos of us for her daughter when we told her who we were cosplaying! I remember she wanted just Pie at first since he was talking mostly with her but when I told her who I was cosplaying, she wanted a photo of me too!

Such a nice person, I hope her daughter likes the picture! I love kind people like this, it's always so nice to talk to them!

Finally, we went to get some food after a few little detours that were very welcomed.

We bought Chips on a Stick!

I’ve never actually had it before, someone let me try a little one time back in 2016 I think…?

It was very tasty, but very filling and it took a while to eat on my part because I'm a slow eater. Pie and I sat down in a little corner and talked while we ate about many things. We had a wonderful discussion about Welt Yang himself and how Pie was the reason I like Welt so much!

I think the way they liked Welt made me starting liking him too, especially since I had him in HSR from the Departure Warp back when I first played!

I think I liked him even more once I started diving into his HI3 lore while playing the game and the fact that he's the Herrscher of Reason! The Second Eruption and Alien Space manga are my favourite ones that HI3 has made because Welt is such a focus in both of them!

Welt is just...so cool.

We were near one of the entrances in fact, which gave us the chance to admire all the cosplayers that came by! Everyone looked amazing, it's impressive how much effort everyone goes to!

(Photography: @steamkittens)

Pie and I went for our professional photoshoot when I finished eating! There was a very long wait as there were many before us who were all in groups and all had to have individual shoots as well…

The cosplayers who did Wriothesley and Neuvillette on Day 1 came up to us during our time waiting and talked to us! I was so happy to see them again!

I put on my Herta shoes for this immediately, but my feet hurt by the time I finally got my photos after 30+ minutes of waiting…

Pain.

One of the main issues I had was that I simply had no clue about the poses or expressions I would do for the shoot. We had to do three of them as I learnt rather quickly, and I couldn’t even think of one real pose!

I’ve never been very good when other people take my photos I’ve noticed, I feel like I look so stupid sometimes aha…

NPC style….🧍‍♂️

It was a cool experience regardless! I’m glad I did try it out! It’s so cool how instant the photos are, they give you a QR code to scan to see all your photos!

I only liked two of the photographs at the end once I scanned the code after. I’ll definitely practice my poses and expressions for my next cosplay so I don’t run into this issue again!

(Photography: @steamkittens)

Pie’s photos came out amazing though! Their poses and expressions are so good, I don’t know how he does it.

Teach me, please.

We then went to buy prints for each other at the Artist Alley! It’s a tradition we always do for every convention! Pie went to the very back, while I started from the front of the alley. I walked through it all and stared at all the pretty art in an attempt to see which print I would buy them.

I knew I wanted something either from the Legend of Zelda, Persona or Welt Yang himself since he likes all of those! Fun fact, I literally was right next to Pie at one point, I saw them and immediately tried to lean in and blend in with the crowd lmao

I actually ran into the Aventurine cosplayer from earlier at one of the stands! I thought they were selling, but in fact they were helping out and there was a lot of cool art there! We had a little chat before I awkwardly walked away like I always do in these situations, I'm no good at these sorts of things aha

I saw a perfect Welt Yang print, but it didn’t come in A3 unfortunately……..I was even waiting around for the artist to come back from their break…….

We usually get A3 prints for one another, so I didn’t know if Pie would be okay with it or not. I probably should have asked but I didn’t think I’d run into such a situation….

But I did find a really pretty Link print! That's what I bought for them at the end! Pie really liked it, so I’m really happy!!!

They bought me a Pearlina print with their Final Fest outfits and I absolutely love it, you have no idea! Thank you again, Pie!!!!

I already put it up on my wall, hehe.

The only issue with all this was that none of us had a bag for our posters, the stands we went to ran out of them.

Pie was able to roll it up and put it in his tote bag, but I didn’t have that luxury without bending the print. I was going to carry it around and hope for the best, but they said we should try asking for a bag from another stand.

We waited around at one, but I decided to buy myself a print so I could get a bag. It was easier than waiting around, and there was always the possibility that any artist wouldn’t want to give one away since it was theirs.

I got a Gawr Gura print! It’s so cute!!

I was going to do Just Dance, but I didn’t feel like doing it by the end, nor was I as thrilled about the fact that there would be so many people watching you dance and that they don’t even give you a Joy-Con so you can actually play the game properly.

How will anyone see the 5 stars I can get easily because I’ve played too much Just Dance in my lifetime?

I decided that I’d dance next time!

With that, we decided that it was time to leave. We did everything we wanted at the convention for Day 2, but it wasn’t over just yet! As we were about to leave through the gate, a cosplayer rushed after us wanting a photo. We could hear footsteps behind us, and we turned back to see them!

Pie managed to convince this old guy to go to the convention actually as we were walking back to the station lol

Heading back to the city, we went to Rundle Mall once again! This time around, we didn't even care that we were in cosplay. We became totally desensitized to it all.

We entered the Adelaide Arcade since we were looking for some food to eat, but we actually took some photos from one of the bridges on the second floor! It was Pie’s idea, and it was pretty fun! I don’t usually go up there so it’s a fun excuse to.

We also went to the Million-Life Arcade and took some pictures there!

Once again, curtesy of Pie. I like their picture because it looks like Welt is really going through it for this one plushie lol

At the end, we decided to have some Hungry Jacks (Burger King as others may know it as) to eat since we wanted something on the cheaper side. We wrote our character names for the order since we were in cosplay, but I forgot to take a photo of mine...

Seeing Joachim and Herta on the order screen was such an amazing sight, although no one probably knew who were were. They actually called out Herta's name, which was so cool. I wonder if any of the employees knew who we were.

I got a Whopper, it was so worth the $11 in my opinion (although it is a lot).

We headed to the Botanic Gardens to take some photos and videos!

It’s a huge garden that has so many places you can walk to and get lost in all the nature! Pie thought it would be the best place since we couldn't bother anyone there with our pictures. I don't get to go there very often, so I was happy we were!

That was the issue, however.

We wanted to find a secluded place with some solid ground where we could set up my tripod and record some short videos, which was way easier said than done aha

There were always people or something that ruined perfect spots for us, which only caused us to waste precious time since the Botanic Gardens were closing in about an hour and a half-ish....?

We actually entered a building that was apparently closed but we were able to enter regardless because someone else entered before us and we assumed we could go in as well...there was this lady who told us something in regards to leaving as we walked but we didn’t really hear her aha

We're breaking the rules in cosplay. Hell yeah.

Eventually, we settled on a place right in front of this greenhouse and we recorded some fun videos! We had a whole list, but we weren't able to get through them all unfortunately. I got to hit Pie with the Star of Eden actually, that was pretty fun! I was afraid of hitting him too hard but they said it was fine.

I also kept messing up this one sound that it was unfunny, I think we did it about four times before we got a decent one aha

Next time, we are taking way more videos! I guarantee we will for our next cosplays!

Pie and I packed up the tripod once we were told the Botanic Gardens were about to close by one of the workers and headed back to where the karaoke place was, since we were going to do karaoke again! We were debating if we should or not, but ultimately decided to!

There was a photo studio we were thinking of going to before karaoke, but it was closed when we got there…they weren't open on Sundays...

Once again, we didn’t read the sign in front of us. How did we manage to do this twice?!

Straight to Karaoke it was! It was harder this time around to choose a song since we did all the songs we wanted on Day 1. We even had to settle on doing anime openings at one point which was fun!

Especially for my case. It took me an embarrassingly long time to decide my final song…Sorry, Pie!

We wore the Dan Heng headbands and I set up my tripod once again to record some of the songs we sang for the memories! Pie told me that they didn't want to see the videos after, but one day in the far future I shall show them for fun muhahaha.

I think my favourite song that I did was Moon Halo for this day! I accidently spoilt an animation for Pie though in doing so...the video I used showed the full Everlasting Flames animation aha

I need to learn some more Japanese songs fully. I vow to learn at least two songs before the next convention! I want to impress Pie with my awesome Japanese hehe

Once 8pm hit...that was it! Our two hours were up and the wonderful weekend was over.

I headed back home, recording some TikTok’s for myself before ripping off my wig with adequate pain from all those bobby pins and taking off my cosplay.

I had so much fun this weekend! I won’t ever forget the experiences I had!

I saw so many amazing cosplayers! I was able to take photos with them and even talk to them! It makes me very happy that I was confident enough do this!

Thank you for coming with me, Pie! Once again, you slayed Welt Yang! I can’t wait until AVCon!

- Miku

#oz comic con #oz comic con adelaide #oz comic con adelaide 2024 #personal #it was a lot of fun!

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lgbtqmanga · 1 year

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New Releases Aug. 22, 2023

After We Gazed at the Starry Sky by Bisco Kida

It all started with a job. When wheelchair-bound Subaru Miyazawa decides to visit the planetarium after finishing its brochure design, he unexpectedly bumps into Togo Awase, the photographer involved in the project. Although he'd admired his work, he never thought he'd see the man himself—or that Togo would go so far as to carry Subaru down the steps to view the starry night sky up close. Subaru could only hope they would meet again...

Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?! vol. 8 by Yuu Toyota

Four months into his transfer, Adachi is surprised to find that he and Kurosawa aren’t that far apart after all! Kurosawa travels to Nagasaki whenever he can, and the pair spend weekends together on the regular!

It’s almost as if they’re settling into life...like a married couple?! So when the two decide to get engaged, it seems like the most natural move of all!

But while Adachi and Kurosawa have overcome some huge obstacles to their love, the next challenge awaiting them might be the toughest yet: breaking the news of their engagement to their parents...

I Don't Know Which is Love vol. 1 by Oku Tamamushi

With high school graduation approaching, Mei Soraike tries to confess her love to her best friend for whom she had long harbored a secret crush…only for her hopes to be crushed. But a little heartbreak is fine—because she’ll absolutely, definitely, without a doubt get a girlfriend in college! And no sooner does Mei set her resolve than potential prospects start sidling up to her one by one…?!

Land of the Lustrous vol. 12 by Haruko Ichikawa

Phosphophyllite is on the war path, determined to make Kongō pray at all costs. The other gems attempt to protect their precious Sensei, but can they stop the vicious onslaught? Meanwhile, on the moon, Cairngorm demands an explanation from Aechmea…

The Magical Revolution of the Reincarnated Princess and the Genius Young Lady (novel) vol. 5 by Piero Karasu and Yuri Kisaragi

There’s one thing Anis can't go without if she wants to run a magical academy—magicite. Fortunately, an untamed region to the east is teeming with this vital resource, so she and Euphie decide to journey there on airbikes to stock up. Wait, doesn’t this sound like a honeymoon?!

Otherside Picnic (manga) vol. 6 by Iori Miyazawa, Eita Mizuno and Shirakaba

With the American marines who were stranded in the Otherside at Kisaragi Station safely rescued, Sorawo and Toriko turn their focus to enjoying the summer together at an island resort on Okinawa. The sight of Toriko in a bikini has Sorawo sweating for reasons besides the hot temperatures!

But fun in the sun turns deadly and dangerous when they stumble into the resort’s portal to the Otherside...

Puella Magi Madoka Magica: The Movie -Rebellion- The Complete Manga Omnibus by Magica Quartet and Hanokage

With Madoka Kaname's sacrifice, the hopeless cycle that once bound every magical girl to a terrible fate was broken at last. Or was it...? All does not seem right with the world, and as Homura pulls at the loose threads of the girls' new reality, is it possible that an even darker destiny looms ahead? Revisit the complete manga adaptation of Puella Magi Madoka Magica: The Movie -Rebellion- in this deluxe omnibus edition!

The Ruthless Commander and his Reincarnated Warhorse by Sakashima and Nomoto Narita

A thirty-year-old Japanese male is teleported to Japan's warring-era. But instead of being reincarnated as a samurai or ninja, he is now a pony! Cute and spry, he is enjoying his carefree new life but all that changes when he runs into a human who is fighting off a bear attack! The pony dashes and rescues the man, and thus begins his new life...as a warhorse!

Sasaki and Miyano Second-Years (novel) vol. 2 by Shou Harusono and Kotoko Hachijo

Time for another peek into the details of Sasaki and Miyano’s lives as second-year students! Miyano's class is getting ready to go on a big field trip. Plus, there's plenty of excitement with Sasaki as White Day approaches. What other precious moments await these two?

Thousand Autumns: Qian Qiu (novel) vol. 2 by Meng Xi Shi and Me.Mimo

Shen Qiao is a devout Daoist priest who has spent his life honing his skills and spirit, leading his sect with martial talent, beauty beyond measure, and an earnest heart. His polar opposite, Yan Wushi, leads one of the most powerful demonic sects and is said to be unrivaled in his strength and cunning. Yan Wushi believes in the inherently selfish nature of all people—himself included—and that nobody is above committing dark deeds for their own benefit.

When a fight leaves Shen Qiao injured, blind, and with hazy memories, Yan Wushi takes in the defeated sect leader with a dark plan: test the limits of the man’s patience and faith in others to lure him onto the demonic path. Little does he know that he is about to meet the first immovable force of his life, and that two hearts can connect in unexpected ways. With the passing of a thousand autumns, who can stay eternal?

#new releases #novels #light novels #manga #queer manga #lgbt manga

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radioactivemelody · 2 years

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One thing that I find really interesting besides Homura and Madoka's relationship, it's how Homura and Sayaka behaves with each other. You see in the timelines how Sayaka is heavily distrusting of Homura. I mean, I understand the girl, it really doesn't help how Homura just shows herself in such a cold and ambiguous light that just creates a sense of hostility within her. But this, before Homura grasps herself with her cold, uncaring facade, Sayaka was already suspicious of her. I don't remember which timeline this is but in this one, Sayaka exclaims how annoying is to fight along Homura because of how she uses bombs and since Sayaka is a close combat fighter, this doesn't work well; she even says that "she doesn't want a bomb to explode right in her face". Because of that, Homura starts to steal guns from the Yakuza.

Along with Sayaka's hard attitude, there's also the fact that Sayaka, in every single timeline, or either she dies as a Magical Girl or turns into a Witch.

This eventually becomes one of the possible triggers to Madoka make a contract with Kyubey. Homura highlights this when she says to Sayaka that she doesn't care about her well being or anything, she just wants to keep her alive because if something happens to her, it will hurt Madoka and probably will make her do her wish.

All this distrust and hostility between them slowly dissolves on Sayaka's side in Rebellion. After she rescues Homura from the fight with Mami, you can see how truly sympathetic Sayaka is being. She understands the pain of being a witch and tries to console Homura on that. I already made another post on this matter, but the things she talks when the Holy "Quartet" is coming in clutch to help Homura is just so.... Different of what the anime version of her would say.

But right in the moment when she finally begins to trust Homura, she is back stabbed, betrayed even. She is stripped from her holy position, as a Angel to Madoka's God. Her hostility towards Homura is back, even stronger than it used to be. Sure, she forgot everything right at the end as she is seen smiling happily along with Kyoko's company. But let's not forget the last thing she told Homura.

"Even if I do, there's one thing I won't forget. You, Homura Akemi, are a demon!"

Because of the ambiguity of Rebellion's ending, we really don't know what will happen. What will happen when Sayaka gets her memories back? Will she be extremely angry with Homura? Will she side with Madoka? Will she try to bring some light into Homura's actions? We don't know.

#I like analyzing Homura and Sayaka #They are such compelling characters #Can you believe me that I used to be a Sayaka hater?#Yeah thank Madoka Im not like this anymore #This was the 2020 me #I am a new person now #puella magi madoka magica #madoka magica #pmmm #homura akemi #sayaka miki #madoka magica rebellion

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whoneedsapublisher · 1 year

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The End

Tragic Madoka fic, starring Homura and Sayaka.

Words: ~1500

Summary: Sayaka has been fighting Homura for a long time. At some point, it became normal to her. But now it's coming to an abrupt conclusion.

Also on Ao3

**********************

As a teenager, Sayaka had told Homura that she would never forget that she was the devil.

Time passed. They graduated middle school, then highschool, and then college. In her first year of university, while the others were highschoolers, Mami found a girl who was just as absurdly busty and motherly as herself, and the two of them adopted Nagisa after her parents died in a car accident a year later. When Kyouko graduated high school and went right to working, she met a ridiculous gremlin of a girl in the arcades she frequented and the two of them bonded to the point that they were essentially dating, even if they insisted they were just friends with benefits. Madoka met a nice, if, to Sayaka’s eyes, a little boring man in university and the two of them got married not long after graduation.

Sayaka, though, didn’t end up meeting anyone. Or least she didn’t end up dating any of the people she met. She graduated highschool, then university, and then entered the working world. But she never forgot about Homura. Quite the opposite, in fact- she actually remembered more as time went on.

Homura’s magic might be memory manipulation now. But Sayaka’s was healing. Once her magic started to recognize Homura’s as her brain being hurt, it started to counteract it as fast as Homura could erase her memories.

Eventually, after a few years, Homura got bored of trying.

“Fine then,” she’d said, waving Sayaka away in irritation. “Remember what you like. But if you’re going to remember all that, remember this too: I haven’t killed you because it will disrupt Madoka’s peaceful life. But if you dare to try to tell her a single thing about what you know, it’ll disrupt it far less for you to die than for you to live.”

Part of Sayaka had always wanted to defy that, to tell Madoka anyway, but she knew it was useless. If she got killed and Madoka just had her memory wiped again right away, what good would that do? No, it was far better to be an immortal thorn in Homura’s side. After all, Homura might have threatened to kill her if she told- but she also had revealed that she wouldn’t otherwise.

And so, on weekends, evenings, and holidays, Sayaka took the battle to Homura. Over the years, and then decades, she found more and more gaps in Homura’s powers, more and more weaknesses, but every time, Homura managed to beat her back. But she was getting closer, she knew it. Close enough to ignore how embarrassing it was for a woman her age to still be in a magical girl outfit.

It had been nearly forty years since they’d first entered Homura’s new world, and Sayaka was feeling lucky. After finishing up at work and taking a train to Homura’s house, she kicked the door in, sword at the ready.

Only to find Homura, usually ready for a fight, relaxing in an armchair in front of a fireplace, lit for the first time that Sayaka could ever remember. In one hand, she held a glass of wine, with the bottle on the table near her with another glass sitting next to it. In the other, she held a pistol, which was a little more normal… except it wasn’t pointed at Sayaka. It was pointed at a floating soul gem, resting just above an end table. Homura’s soul gem.

“Ah, Sayaka,” she said, raising her glass in a friendly manner. “You’re finally here. Come, sit down.”

“What do you mean sit down?” Sayaka said. “I’m here to fight you.”

“There’s no point,” Homura said. “You’re too late. Tonight is the last night that this world exists.”

Sayaka paused, hesitating and lowering her sword slightly.

“What do you mean?”

“Roughly an hour ago, Madoka was hit by a car.”

Sayaka went pale.

“She was rushed to hospital and into surgery, but it was too late. The doctors estimate she won’t survive the night.”

Sayaka found herself completely speechless.

Homura had no reason to lie about it. It wasn’t something she would lie about it. Her whole life resolved around Madoka. She wouldn’t lie or joke about something like that to mess with Sayaka.

But it still didn’t seem real.

Sayaka staggered over to the armchair next to Homura and collapsed into it, stunned.

“It’s finally over,” Homura said, raising her glass. “I’ve won, at last.”

“You wanted to kill Madoka?” Sayaka said, sitting up and leaning towards Homura in anger and disbelief. “This whole time, you wanted her dead?”

“Of course not,” Homura said. “What I wanted was for her to live a normal human life. To live and love and die as a person, not a concept, not a saviour, not a pawn in Kyuubey’s schemes. And what’s happened? She found love. She had children. She saw them grow up. I would have liked it if she lived long enough to see her grandchildren and die of old age, but…”

Homura closed her eyes and leaned back in her chair.

“This is enough,” she said. “This is a normal human life. It’s all I wanted. It’s what I did all of this for.”

Sayaka slumped back into the chair.

“What happens now?” she asked.

“I’ll wait until the last moment,” Homura said. “Just before Madoka dies, I’ll destroy my soul gem. This world will fall apart, the old universe will reassert itself, and the Law of Cycles will reclaim what I’ve stolen.”

“...and what happens after that?”

“I don’t know,” Homura said, setting her pistol down and taking a sip from her glass of wine. A moment of weakness, perhaps, but what did it matter? Even if Sayaka defeated her here, what, she could destroy Homura’s gem a couple of minutes early? What did it even matter anymore? “This is unprecedented. Madoka’s wish was unusual enough, but still within the incubators’ understanding of how the wish system worked. My wish is completely outside of their predictions or observations. Even after all these decades, they don’t understand it.”

“What about Madoka’s kids?” Sayaka said. “If she’s going to become a concept again…”

Homura shrugged. “I have no idea,” she said. “Maybe in the remade world her brother will marry her husband’s sister and the kids will be mostly the same. Maybe they’ll be adopted with a mysterious parentage. Maybe they’ll never exist in the first place.”

She looked up from her wine to meet Sayaka’s eyes. “But why are you asking me? Isn’t this what you’ve wanted all along? Shouldn’t know what you’ve been working for all this time?”

Sayaka clenched her fist. “...It was different back then,” she said. “If this had just happened right after you did all this, everything would be simple.”

Homura smirked. “Then maybe you should have defeated me faster,” she taunted.

“Oh, shut up,” Sayaka said.

“Maybe when I die, everything will reset,” Homura said. “Maybe all this time that has passed has all been just an instant in our old reality. Maybe we’ll snap back to that moment where I tore a piece out of the law of the cycles, except that just before it splits, I’ll suddenly die. I imagine that will surprise Madoka.”

Sayaka frowned. “Your sense of humour is as bad as always.”

Homura chuckled.

“If that is what happens, I hope you lose your memories properly for once,” she said, taking another sip of wine. “We wouldn’t want you to turn out like me, after all.”

Sayaka fell silent.

Could she really imagine that? Going back to being a fourteen year old girl, but with memories of her whole life? Memories of being an aunt to Satoshi and Sakura? Years of memories of playing with them, babysitting for Madoka, seeing them grow from tiny babies into young adults. None of it real anymore, with no one else who even remembered it ever had been.

“Have a drink,” Homura said, gesturing to the bottle and the empty glass beside it. “I think we’ve both earned it at this point.”

Part of Sayaka wanted to refuse. To accuse Homura of making this all up just to throw her off. To draw her sword and attack, deny all of this.

But she couldn’t muster up the will for it.

Instead, she uncorked the bottle and filled the glass. It was supposed to be a good vintage, and one sip confirmed its reputation was deserved.

Homura closed her eyes for a moment, her hand reaching out to touch her gem momentarily.

“...It won’t be long now,” she said, setting down her glass and picking up her pistol.

Sayaka said nothing, taking another drink.

“One last thing,” Homura said.

“What?” Sayaka said.

Homura smiled at her, a painful, longing smile that caught Sayaka completely off guard. Where were the above it all smirks, the contemptuous frowns, the condescending amusement? There was a deep, jarring vulnerability in the look on her face as she pointed her gun at her own gem.

“Thank you,” she said. “For keeping me company all these years. I’m glad… I’m glad that at least one person remembered that I exist.”

And then Homura pulled the trigger.

#pmmm #i'm linking to it directly now because fuck it at this point #who cares about tag visibility for single digit notes #easier for people who follow me via tumblr and they're the only real audience for these posts

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kumikko · 1 year

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thank you for the tag @cinammonelles <3 i love seeing you on my dash (and also i love getting tagged but i forget if i don't do it as soon as i see it bahaha)

First ship ever in your life: really good question, i didn't know people were shipping characters for the longest time, but uhhh either madoka and homura or sawako and kazehaya. those are the likely starters

The ultimate three ships: hmmmm,,, satosugu, asheiji, and uhhhhhh honestly everything else is kinda just there. not a massive shipper where i ride or die, but those two just pulled me through

The first crush (Fictional Character/Fandom): so i don't get crushes easily (i just like characters a lot), but the closest to a first crush fictional character would probably be oz vessalius from pandora hearts (and it slowly turned into i want to be him, and then that went downhill)

Last Song: shit talk - sufjan stevens

Last Movie: oh interesting question. most likely "The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2". i watched that last week and exploded. (big hunger games marathon that day. first time watching them)

Favorite Flower: forget-me-nots (but there are so many pretty ones but those are so fun/ i planted forget-me-nots in 2nd grade in my mom's garden without her knowing and they're still there to this day) (they're probably an invasive species but they stay in their corner)

Currently Reading (you can add a link): just finished radio silence by alice oseman for the third time! moving onto warbreaker by brandon sanderson. also reading "what you are looking for is in the library" by michiko aoyama but very periodically since there are 5 stories in the book and im on the 4th story. might wanna start reading tgcf vol. 7 but still debating on whether a e-pub version would be good for me since i plan to buy a physical version when i fly back home.

Currently Watching: currently? frieren: beyond journey's end, the amazing world of gumball, skip and loafer again (idk which round this is tbh), jjk s2, and i guess one piece (technically)

Last thing I wrote- ship/Fandom?: uhhh... uhhhhh.... i don't write often! last thing i've published online was like 8 years ago. nothing for fandoms, just my brain making up characters and situations.

Currently writing (you can add a link): that said,,,, i am writing out my oc story (still figuring out best format) but writing out the story wouldn't hurt anyone, especially if it's just for me right now. (the story is lost constellations! follows cass and her adventures of trying to reconnect with a friend that she dearly misses. but they're kinda like parallel lines, in that their trajectory is going further and further away from each other in opposite directions) i am doing an oc-tober challenge on my instagram @raspcha and i plan to publish the art pieces here (@raspcha) soon, i just have to get over the activation energy of posting on socials haha

tag just whoever sees this and wants to do it! my brain is shut off for the night

#thanks for tagging me!#fun stuff <3 #kumikko talks #explodes

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shizukateal · 4 years

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The Holy Quintet: The BEST DRESSED Magical Girl Team EVER. Part 2: Characters made of symbols and shapes.

Part 1 here.

Mami Tomoe

Mami Tomoe’s outfit is a work of genius that really humbles me as an aspiring character designer. Watching the perfection in its simplicity only boggles my mind trying to reverse engineer the thought process behind it. Even if they already had decided on the huntress theme before they finished her, how did Ume Aoki came up with cutting the sleeves like that? Or with the perfect skirt shape that allows the corset to show all of her curves while puffing at just the right height to not make the hipline transition awkward and giving the shape of a flower? How long did it take her to find this particular color scheme? Did she immediately know where to put the purple to balance the outfit without feeling artificial? How did she realize that the stripes on the socks would add the ideal touch to the whole setup? Or the perfect way to turn the soulgem into a hair accessory? I would have gone the easy way and put it in the chest ribbon like the amateur I am! Did she have doubts about it while she was figuring out the exact design of the boots?!

This outfit does everything. It’s sexy without being unnecessarily tasteless, it’s girly and fancy but battle-ready, it even passes the silhouette test, it’s nuanced, almost realistic. Even Mami’s hairstyle, which in a lesser design would look too childish, is perfect for her. Mami’s whole theme is that she’s a little girl desperately trying to convince herself that she’s an adult. Her low drill-tails are doll-like, which is to say a little girl’s idea of what a fancy adult woman looks like. The side-swept bangs also give a youthful roundness to her face while being elegant, and the way the hat and hairpin complements the whole thing is just * cheff’s kiss *.

Kyouko Sakura

Kyouko is a fire gal, and as such her shape is a triangle, so her outfit is a halter top coat that widens into the frilled overskirt. Her ponytail also feeds into this theme, with hair bits sticking wildly on the top like the fire sparks of a candle, and the ribbon is just scrappy but cute enough to compliment her personality. Haha, ponytail, get it? Like a horse? Or in her case a de-horned unicorn, ergo her spear. Her look also gives us the impression of an outlaw with her pirate/rider boots, long coat and gloves, fitting her lifestyle, and her soulgem is on her chest, indicating her more emotional nature. I think the boldest decision was to leave her hands ungloved, or at least I know I wouldn’t have done that, but that’s why I’m glad I wasn’t in Ume Aoki’s position when Madoka was in production. The white details on her undershirt and boots also put an elegant touch of complexity that completes the whole thing. What I’m trying to say here is that Kyoko has the ““easiest”” design of the other puellas, but it’s still top notch.

Sayaka Miki

Sayaka’s outfit is a balancing act, trying to keep it’s knight aesthetic clear without relying on heavy armor to do so and thus allowing Sayaka’s more romantic, femenine side to show, not to mention her water + music/mermaid theme. Her whole getup is very ingenious. Her short hair allows the cape to flow without seeming excessive and heavy or an inconvenience, her hairpin prevents the cut from being bland, but still keeping a somewhat tomboyish look, and her skirt has a distinct asymmetrical cut that, with its white outline, gives the idea of a wave. Her boots are short, comfy, practical, and their shade is just different enough that they avoid the look from feeling kinda boring within its color pallet, without straying away from it. I’m honestly amazed at how well they pulled of her belly-button soulgem as well, especially without taking away from the knight theme, hell they even used that in their favor! That is ingenuity. It was also a genius idea to hold the cape on a choker to make it all fit better with a sweetheart neckline.

Homura Akemi

As I mentioned before when I talked about Senjougahara, Homura is a rhombus, not just in her soul gem but in the rest of her body: she is pointy, slim, and long. She is the tallest and lankiest amongst the Holy Quintet, her outfit primarily highlighting her legs and her hair ending in jagged points. What impresses me the most about it is that the shirt is very weirdly cut for a concept as straightforward as “school uniform”, but it works. I can imagine a much easier version of it without the undersleeves or the collar. Speaking of which, the shape of them draws attention to her soul gem on her hand, which is placed there to symbolize how she’s the most “hands on” magical girl. Her time motif is present in her back ribbon, which looks like clock hands, same with Moemura’s braids, and in her shield, which is small and attached to her wrist and also is actually a sand clock. That shield is a really neat, concise, and smart way to tie up the entirety of her wish, huh? Speaking of Moemura, it’s really interesting to see the conflict between the two versions of this character in their differences. First we have the hair, of course, then the red glasses. I sense that there’s more to those than what I’m interpreting here, but the best I can do is conclude that aside that Homura tosses them out because they represent her weakness the fact that they’re red means they also represent her emotionality, which Madoka returns to her when she gives her her red ribbons (which also represent the string of fate, of course, and also confidence in oneself). But the part that interests me the most is her heels. Moemura doesn’t fit them, she trips on them constantly, but for Homura they are a symbol of her maturity and composure. Naturally, the first time we see Homura break down after narrowly killing Kyubey before they could do a contract with Madoka, she trips on them.

@leafbladie also pointed out to me that the reason it looks like a school uniform might be because school is the only place where she could make genuine human connections.

Madoka Kaname

Kyouko is a triangle, Homura is a rhombus, and Madoka is, fittingly, a Star, aka. a cluster of points shooting out from a center, which also blends well as a flower motif. Or to put it even more eloquently, she’s the flower from the ground that will eventually become the star in the sky. It’s in her skirt, gloves, socks and ponytails. And the rest of her? Is a deception in its simplicity. After all, this is what you expect from the leader of a magical girl team, right? Pink! Ribbons! Frills! Come on, you’ve seen this outfit before, it’s practically the same as Cure Peach’s! But Madoka is aiming for something more specific: she is both a fairy AND a witch, the two faces of the Magical Girl, creatures of fairytales often related to either nature or to the stars, and it works precisely because she uses that shape. Madoka is a balance of roundness and pointiness, it’s just that those points are softened by the pastel coloring. Her balance in ribbons and frills is excellent as well. I should probably write a separate post on how those 2 elements work in general, but suffice to say that we all know way too many magical girls that just put those things everywhere. Two on her ponytails to highlight them, one behind her neck, two on her hips to smooth the hipline transition, two behind her shoes. Huh, speaking of those, Madoka has surprisingly tall heels, right? Taller than Mami’s and only matched by Homura’s. Really tells you who the 2 most emotionally resilient members are in the team.

The last piece I’d like to highlight is her weapon, which I’m jealous of because I did that concept for an OC of mine and now if I do it everyone is going to think that I got it from her. But in any case, yeah combining a druidic staff into an also druidic bow whose arrows are also shooting star analogues is the perfect choice for this particular character, the Goddess of Magical Girls.

And this, everyone, has been my reasoning and analysis of the genius of the Holy Quintet’s character designs. Follow me if you want more magical girl outfit analysis.

#puella magi madoka magica #magical girl fashion #madoka kaname #kyoko sakura #homura akemi #sayaka miki #tomoe mami

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cornflowercanine · 2 years

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today was apeshit (good and 8ad)

>managed to wake up at 7:30 am aGAIN despite me 8eing fully capa8le of sl33ping in + that wasn't a full eight hours, i just Couldnt k33p laying there trying to sl33p lol >

>going 8ack and forth from mind-num8ing dread a8out Have To Pay 500 Dollars Rent None Of Us Have 8y Tomorrow Or We'll Get Kicked Out, to having my head spin from laughing with my friends >sis told me last night our mom would pay us 8ut i didn't think that might go through hence going 8ack and forth from im gonna die to It's fine actually i n33d to turn my 8rain off for a minute from all this :8lush: >sis finally wakes up at. 1 pm. tells me, mum8ling, that our mom can't pay us. n33dless to say i f33l 8ad, thankfully all the hoes (my friends) s33m to have disappeared for an hour so i dont kersplode a8out it to anyone >press sis a8t it more, mom could pay us on monday, "....actually i think this goes to the 15th it doesnt have a d8 on it :)" "8ut it's a 3 day notice that we got on the 11th isn't that the 14th" "..." >literally one day short. sis says our mom doesn't have the money now, 8ut our older 8ro does, so she tries to middle man 8etw33n us to get it over >sister's fiance asks her mom to help too >tensely it's ended on okay we've Pro8a8ly got it, sis leaves for work (AT 3 PM HER WORK STARTS AT 10 AM SHE HAD A 2-HOUR SHIFT I'M GONNA FUCKING), kinda just have to w8 til sis's fiance's mom replies/our mom steps up, nothing else to do, thusly: >Creamed Honey Discussion Hour has 8egun. my life is promptly ruined 8y

8ROWNING'S FLAVORED CREAMED HONEY THAT S33MS TO 8E 8RIGHT FUCKING PINK AND RED IN FLAVORS I FUCKING LOVE *AND* I COULD PRO8A8LY 8E TAKEN TO THEIR PHYSICAL GIFT SHOP SOMETIME. HOW CAN I COPE KNOWING I DONT HAVE THIS IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW /lighthearted >spend 30 minutes looking at madoka magica side comic things to try and find a 8onus where homura is explaining madoka to the rest of the quintet and Godoka, Invisi8le, is going ahhh!! homura youre idolizing me way too much!! I STILL COULDNT FIND IT 8TW IM FUCKING -PUNCHES WALL- >8ut i DO unlock pure autistic special interest joy over these comics. you know the homestuck panel format where a char is like *-* looking up at thought 8u88les of the thing they like, its in jades intro and i think m33nah does it too? i did that. >GET INFORMED RENT IS PAID. WITH OUR MOM AND MY SISTER'S FIANCE'S MOM. OPEN ANNOUNCEMENT AS "WHO WANTS TO FUCKING KISS ME WITH TONGUE". THANK GOD THANK FUCKING GOD >ask my friend "hey im not sure if im d8ing this person or not should i ask? zhe called us watching a movie a few days ago a d8 and when i jokingly say 'haha that was so funny wanna d8 a8out it' zhe says yes". ze says "didnt you literally ask hir if zhe's your gf and zhe said yes". "i might actually just 8e fucking stupid" >ask hir >i have a gf now :partying_face: >

>coo and chirp at moirail and wish himer goodnight and hang out until it's time to sl33p, looking at images of homucifer and konan akatsuki >here now, 12:40 am, i shouldve 833n in 8ed 40 minutes ago, 8ut tomorrow is my day off so it's ok wow

#clove rambles #personal #d slur #yeah uh. today was a whole lot lol #8UT I'M HAPPY X) I FUCKING LOVE MY QUADRANTM8S AND I LOVE!!! AUTISM #AND IM HAPPY and tomorrow i have to shower and make my 8ed :)#this was good. i dont wanna deal with this again i think i will pro8a8ly move in with my 8est furriend sooner #8ut rent scare aside today was 8aller #scr33nshots of me and my friends 8eing insane is meant to convey 'and then me and my friends were insane #for several hours' 8tw

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magireco · 3 years

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Would love to hear more thoughts on how these girls have understandable teenage motivations (A+ tag analysis by the way)

1. Thank you!!!!!!

2. ALRIGHT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS (shuffles my papers). i’ve gone off about homura’s motivations in depth before but i think it was only in dms/groupchats? anyways i’ll go in order with All the girls bc i think about this all the time as a teenager who grew up mentally ill and had their perceptions skewed because of it, and also i don’t think it’s talked about nearly enough for the others, at least on my blog... so, buckle up!!! this is REALLY LONG!!!!

3. i tried writing like, an individual thing for every member of the quintet all together in this one ask, but i ended up talking a little too much about homura and now i’m going to split up all the different analysis stuff for each character into the reblogs and work on it every so often! you’re free to kinda skim of course because i really did write a whole novel but here we go!! read under the cut. :3 this is literally essay length btw. i did NOT expect it to get this long but if you want to read it all i’d recommend it but i don’t expect most people to

First: Homura Akemi

okay so i’m going to kind of summarize everything but from the perspective of empathizing with her so if you don’t want to reread a whole recap you can skip to the ending few paragraphs

Summary

first of all, in episode 10, homura’s past is explained for the viewer. she was a shy, unsure girl who had been bedridden for a long time. she was clearly unsocialized, not to mention she went to a catholic school and those can be brutal, esp in japan... that’s all we know about her in that episode, but it’s revealed in one of the drama cds that she was bullied as a child(& further at mitakihara middle), her parents never were mentioned ever (i assume them to either be dead or neglectful, considering she lives alone and unchecked), and in magia record, homura says to natsuki that she’s never had friends before, she hasn’t been on vacation before until the beachside bonds event, hasn’t ever celebrated valentine’s day, has never celebrated new years, etc...

clearly, she’s missed out on a lot not only because of her sickness and hospitalization, but because of her isolation as a child at school. judging by her demeanor and the way she reacts when madoka comes up to her without being asked to, something like that had never happened to her before. it’s clear to me that madoka was many of homura’s “first’s”, her first friend, the first person who reached out to her, the first person to compliment her name honestly(validating her, disproving her dislike of her name), the first person to regard her so kindly rather than judging her based off of her appearance and demeanor (like other students had apparently done, this is also shown when the other students at mitakihara middle make fun of her for being tired after only being able to run one lap). AND, madoka (and mami, but homura knew madoka better at that time) saved her life, even though homura was so willing to die, just in that moment... i’d assume it made homura feel like someone believed in her even when she was at her worst. it’s really clear by the glimmer in her eyes that these are nice people that made her feel happy and welcome... and then walpurgisnacht came. she didn’t know much about magical girls and just believed in madoka and mami to be able to defeat the witch because she saw them as strong and saw the witch as defeatable, despite its size. and then mami died, right in front of her and madoka...

this kinda seems headcanon-y when i phrase it this way but it’s practically proven in her actions but i really think homura is scared to be abandoned, especially by someone who was as overtly kind and nonjudgemental to her as madoka... it’s in the way she cries her name and says “don’t go” before madoka runs away to fight walpurgisnacht. OH ALSO, i need to address this one thing really quick because people like to assume that homura didn’t care about mami from the beginning and only liked madoka. it’s not that she wasn’t sad when mami died, she was clearly terrified and didn’t want the same to happen to madoka, also mami LITERALLY WASN’T IN HER CLASS OR HER GRADE so i assume she spent most of her time with madoka considering they were in the same grade and class and probably shared most of their periods with each other... but also, once again, mami is older than both of them and homura probably saw her as more of a mentor/teacher that she needed to impress rather than madoka who was more on her level, i guess?

anyways, moving on... homura had to see madoka die (& experience the crushing guilt she felt for “letting madoka go” even though there was nothing she could’ve done) and literally says “i’d rather you had lived than saved someone like me” ... her self worth is below zero. she makes her wish to be strong enough to protect madoka(because she sees madoka, her first friend, who saved her life which she felt had no worth, as so strong and noble) which causes her to go back in time, etc. etc., you know the deal. okay before i move on to talk a little more abt the timelines and the personality change i’m going to address why it’s reasonable that she’d be attached to madoka.

i mentioned before that homura said herself that she had never had a friend before. just like, put yourself into her shoes for a second. this girl has no idea how to make friends; it was never taught to her. it’s literally rational that she’d get attached to her first ever friendship. it’s not “normal” the way she views madoka, but how could it be? this is her first time having a friend, she’s afraid of being abandoned by her, but she’s had to see her die over and over again anyway. she doesn’t want to lose madoka. even if she doesn’t go about it in the right way, there’s no way she would’ve actually known how to Do relationships. no one taught her. i think that needs to be empathized with more...

i kinda feel like i need to summarize all this just bc if i word it right it kinda reminds you & puts into perspective just how terrible and scary all of this was.

anyway Again, i would skip straight to the end of timeline 3 (where a New Flavor of trauma is given to homura) but i need to first address timeline 2 for a second. it was homura’s first time repeating the timeline, she trained with madoka and mami again, she was still hopeful despite what happened, etc. kinda just bonding further with madoka Again... and then it’s at the end of this timeline that she watches madoka turn into a witch, just in front of her very eyes... and realizes the true fate of magical girls. when she resets the timeline again, it’s up to her to start anew and break the truth to the group when she sees them again. when she tries telling the truth, sayaka immediately shoves this aside, claiming homura was just trying to split everyone up. it’s clear that that hurts homura. (also the little shinies in her eyes were wavering which is anime-code for sad) her feelings were immediately disregarded by sayaka and she couldn’t defend herself, but madoka did for her, and mami tried to diffuse the situation.

after they all find out homura was right when sayaka turns into a witch, mami kills kyoko and ties up homura in her ribbons and aims a gun at her, and this, rightfully, ignited a fear within homura... madoka is forced to kill mami in order to save homura, leaving only the two of them to fight together. then, when walpurgisnacht comes that time, The Promise is made... madoka tells homura to go back in time and save her from becoming a witch (because she doesn’t want to curse the world that way, she still sees beauty in it) and homura agrees, saying she’ll never stop until she saves madoka, and then... homura has to mercy kill madoka before she becomes a witch. she cries loudly and shoots madoka’s soul gem... it’s literally so heartwrenching and (usually) brings the viewer to tears, or puts something into perspective for them...

then we assume the personality change happens in the timeline right after. this personality change causes a lot of discourse because sometimes it’s seen as kind of irrational, but personally, i think even moemura had at least SOME resent for the world around her considering what she’d been through. it’s madoka’s repeated deaths that finally push her over that edge. i could get further into the coolmura arc but that’d take a WHILE, so i’ll just kind of explain something briefly though -- why homura ended up becoming even MORE focused on madoka. and i’m also going to debunk the claim that homura doesn’t care about her other friends as fast as i can before moving on.

also, ONE LAST side tangent, for those that think homura really did do a 360 degree personality turn are wrong. it’s shown explicitly in homulilly’s labyrinth that there’s this... “core” homura, a shadowy purple silhouette with braids. every time the series depicts homura’s internal self, it’s always glasses+braids, symbolizing her “child” self, who she truly is. she never stopped being that person. she doesn’t want to kill. ...but i can get into that in a rebellion analysis later! this is also shown in wraith arc bc the person inside her soul gem has glasses+braids. anyway let’s get to the next part i’m going to rant about

Homura’s Love for Madoka, but Otherwise Apathy

homura has seen many different, yet all similar, versions of her friends. the first claim i’m going to talk about which i saw brought up quite a few times before is in regards to homura and mami. first of all, homura absolutely still cares for mami, and not just in the “i only care about your life if it affects madoka’s” way. one part that always gets me is when mami ties her up in the series timeline after homura frantically warns her that this witch isn’t normal, to which mami IMMEDIATELY brushes this off, without even giving homura a chance. then, when mami’s ribbons fade away, homura looks horrified and just goes “oh no...” and it’s kind of obvious to me that it was in response to mami’s death rather than madoka’s reaction. this is arguably up for debate i guess because i’ve seen different takes on that reaction and it’s ambiguous, i guess? but i’m about to get into something extremely similar and that’s the sayaka situation, where madoka throws sayaka’s soul gem onto a moving car. homura gasps and immediately pauses time and disappears, running in literal open traffic and climbing on top of a moving car to retrieve sayaka’s soul gem. one could argue that this is ALSO only just because homura wants to save madoka (and kyoko) the fear, but don’t you think her expression would be different? if homura truly didn’t care for sayaka’s wellbeing, wouldn’t she be making an expression more similar to like, “oh, this shit again...” instead of the frantic one she was making in the scene? this kind of thing Also happens when kyoko asks homura to leave while kyoko’s about to sacrifice herself in oktavia’s labyrinth, and homura looks up sadly at kyoko and then back down at madoka, and once she knew kyoko was dead, she just quietly said “kyoko...” to herself. she usually refers to them as [last name, first name], but she dropped that during that moment... it otherwise sounds like a bare minimum thing to do, but keep in mind the timeline we’re shown in the series is implied to be like, the 110th timeline, i think? like, this is the last timeline, she’s worn down, but she still does have empathy -- or at least sympathy -- for the others. she still loves them.

homura promised to be madoka’s protector, she dedicated her life to her, and also she doesn’t have a choice not to dedicate her life to her anymore, even though that’s not fair to her... homura is in a really hopeless situation and madoka is her hope, and madoka is the one that judges her the least out of the quintet (like saying “i’m sure homura is good” to herself) upon first impression. also okay i mentioned this already in my last post (which you saw) but i’m going to bring it up one more time, homura is not mentally 26!!!!!! she is still 14 mentally!! in order to be 26, you have to have experienced 26 years of new life experience. maybe you acquire that through school, maybe you aquire that through friends, whatever it takes. but homura just repeated the same month over and over, and it’s not like her body (canonically) ages ever. she just kind of gets transported back into her body in the hospital again considering she’s back wearing her braids and pajamas... so, yeah. no mental development there. i also mentioned this here but i’m gonna say it again, that just makes it even harder for her to actually age correctly... it stunts her to 14. imagine being 14 for 10-11 years...

In Defense Of My Own Claims

btw before you think i’m just going full-on radical homura apologist, i’m not explaining all of this to be like “homura made ALL THE RIGHT DECISIONS because her trauma gave her an excuse!!” because like, Obviously, she did a lot of bad things, she killed people, did a lot of callous things, a lot of thoughtless things, a lot of things that make her seem emotionless, etc. but i just have trouble blaming her considering how things ended up, and it’s not like she enjoys killing people. she’s not sadistic... she ends up becoming short with all the others not only because of her (extremely) weakened trust in them, but also because the amount of times she repeated the timeline. i’d imagine it makes her feel like the others can’t truly die because she can just go back and see them again. (this is also why wraith arc/post-tv series must’ve been hard for her because she can no longer turn back time, things are permanent now, deaths are forever) she’s become so worn down that she’ll do anything to escape the loops... also considering she has no choice but to continue? although it shouldn’t be, it’s technically her job as a magical girl to defeat all witches and walpurgisnacht counts. it kills magical girls and tears up the whole city and she’s usually the only magical girl left... her choices, when defeated, are either to give up and die or to go back and try again, and she made a promise to her first ever friend to do just the latter... i just don’t understand how this isn’t easier for people to comprehend, that all of this trauma and stress and responsibility on top of an already traumatized 14 year old does not mix well. ever. she had to figure out all of this by herself.

TL;DR:

homura was a previously traumatized, unsocialized 14 year old with (very)low self esteem & self worth whose first friend (and first love, really, let’s be honest) died in front of her in horrific ways and she watched as she (and the other friends she came to make) drifted slowly apart from her in her endless and futile attempt in saving her from what proved to be an inescapable fate. also she’s 14 and also she’s (canonically) mentally ill and a lesbian. not a monster, not evil, not “psycho”. and that’s that!

#asks #luna-mistrunner #homura akemi #analysis #THIS MAY HABE TAKEN ME LIKE 2 DAYS ON AND OFF

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