#the only way he ever knew how to connect with others was to surrender completely

[antisocialxconstruct]

oooughfhfg in my head about Maksim tonight folks

[lightlycareless]

Hiii, can i request a scenario on how naoya (when he has reached a point where he loves wife!reader from an arranged marriage) would react to one day not being greeted at all when he comes home? It is completely silent, no response as he calls for her and is getting a bit worried as he starts searching the rooms. But then he sees her laying on the couch, shivering and sweating from a cold that’s so intense she’s barely lucid and can’t even tell he’s there and talking to her

Heya!!

So... I took some liberties when writing this, kind of went a completely different route (the sick part, alongside worried Naoya still remains though), it just occurred to me when reading your ask, but I hope it's still of your liking 🥺!!!

anyways, here are the warnings: mentions of death, miscarriage, a very concerned and overprotective Naoya, a bit of fluff, and everyone wants to spoil you rotten lol.

And without further ado, happy reading!

“Y/N, I’m home!”

Home.

A word he never really cared for, always considering it sappy, alongside the fondness that was usually assigned to it, which Naoya couldn’t think of as nothing but ridiculous, if not hilariously overrated.

For many years, Naoya thought that a home was simply the place that one was raised in and that’s about it. Nothing of the sentimentality others liked to apply to it, brag about it…

Until, of course, he finally came to understand what the word meant; why it was so special, and why it was important to have one.

A home wasn’t made by the people he knew as family, blood related, found in the place he was forced to be in since he was born, and probably die in—no; it’s the one that was made by the people of his choice, people he met through his course of life, connected with, and now, cherished.

Amongst them, you.

He considered himself lucky to have found the love of his life, a concept he considered so… foreign, impossible for someone like him, if not a stupidity of delusional people desiring more from life.

So was Naoya destined to think for the rest of his existence, condemned by his same family to live a life of loneliness, hatred, and die the same way.

But you’d come to show him otherwise, shockingly, and unexpectedly, and in such a way he couldn’t even put up a fight, completely surrendering to you and the wonderful feelings that being in love with you provided.

Now that he’s experienced them, he couldn’t find the reason as to why his family would ever reproach such beautiful thing as harshly as they did—or that he believed them in the first place…

Well, that’s not something that bothers him anymore; the Zen’in clan could continue on in their hard stuck ways for all he cared; he, on the other hand, plans to spend the rest of his days alongside the woman of his dreams, starting by today, finally back in your arms after days of being pulled into pointless missions after pointless missions, which he would not hear of for a few weeks—having earned a well-deserved break for his consistently good performance.

Naoya even prepared accordingly for the occasion, having bought gifts from all the places he’d been to, as well as ideated ways to distract you from the boring estate and his nagging relatives he knows you don’t enjoy being around with, only tolerating them because they were, well, your in-laws, his family—with exceptions of those you do get along, and for them, he’s grateful that they do.

Ah, he couldn’t wait to see you, your face, and the adorable way it brightens up whenever receiving him.

To tell you of his day while resting his head on your lap, with you passing your fingers through his hair, gently soothing his stresses away as you reassure him that he’s the best sorcerer out there, he’s just… unlucky to bump into lesser talented ones.

Get something to eat too, he’d like his favorite for a start, miso soup—and perhaps have you feed it to him? God, it’s been a while since both have done that, and it’s not because he doesn’t like doing it, or you for that matter, but rather, he doesn’t want to risk being seen by others, it has to be in the utmost privacy, after all! He isn’t to be vulnerable in front of his family!!

Oh, he needs wishes to see you—right now. And he’s absolutely sure you’re feeling the same way…

If so… why hadn’t you responded? Why hadn’t you come to receive him in the same manner you’ve always done?

Naoya knows that his schedule can be a bit… unpredictable, making it difficult for you to know exactly when he’ll come back home—but even then, it didn’t take you that long to meet him after announcing his return.

You’d always come to the entrance, no matter if it happened right that moment, or a bit later; you just… did.

But today… it seems that you opted to break the routine by taking far longer than you usually do.

He’d remain attentive to his surroundings, hoping to either hear your approaching footsteps or voice softly calling for him at a distance, yet as time went on, he was received with neither…. And Naoya only begins to grow more worried.

Your husband tries to not jump to the worst conclusion just yet, opting to think that you were perhaps simply caught up tending to the house, maybe even partaking in an unwanted conversation with one of his relatives and having trouble brushing them off—for no matter the times you’d reminded them that your husband was back, and you needed to be there to receive him, still acted as if it wasn’t that important.

Things that implied that even when running late, you were still ok.

Yet…

“Y/N!” Naoya calls once again, hoping for a change…

…

…

…

Silence.

It’s by this time that he decides it’s better to search for you than to stand around and wait for you to magically appear.

Naoya begins by going into the main wing, eyes scanning through the gardens, your usual place of leisure when not busy, where you’d calmly enjoy the diligently tended for flowers (the ones he had changed to your favorite as soon as he found out which ones they were) while snacking on something, or in the company of your loyal staff—if that were the case of your absence, he understood why you didn’t answer.

But he wouldn’t find you near any of the gardens, or anywhere in fact! A statement that weighed even heavier upon finding out that the staff was in the same predicament as him, for when he asked a nearby servant of your whereabouts, he was received with the following answer:

“We haven’t seen her” Naoya’s heart sinks.

“What do you mean you haven’t seen her?” he breathes. “Where could my wife—did she—did she leave the estate?”

No. You… didn’t. Because that’s not what you told him you’d be doing a few hours ago, after letting you know he was on his way back home; if anything, you replied with how excited you were to see him again and that you’d be eagerly waiting for him!

So obviously, their words didn’t make sense. But if so… where were you?

Naoya now frantically searched for you through every wing, room, space, chamber, closet, just— anywhere, literally anywhere you could be while repeatedly calling out your name in hopes of getting a response, or even a glimpse of you; he doesn’t care what at that point, he’s happy with either!

Yet, the longer he went on without an answer, the bigger his sorrow became, to the point where his mind was machinating nothing but the worst-case scenarios, slowly losing his inhibitions as he repeatedly wondered Where were you? How come no one has seen you? Did he have to escalate this situation?

Just—Where are you, Y/N?!

Thankfully, there would be no need to pursue bigger solutions for he’d get his answer soon enough after entering the east wing, passing through the living quarters, and arriving to the laundry room, one of the last places he’d thought you’d be—rightfully guessing so, for you were there, apparently washing whatever garments you had pending, which you hadn’t been able to wash due to a variety of unknown reasons…

But far from feeling elated to have found you, Naoya felt as if whatever he had left of his heart was effectively broken, which felt short compared to the way he found you.

“Y/N!”

The sight that received him is one that will remain imprinted in the back of mind: you were laying on the floor, on your side, tightly clutching to your stomach as you breathed heavily, eyes tightly shut while groaning in what Naoya could only interpret as pain.

As if his worries weren’t through the roof at that point, this last conclusion is what urged Naoya to hastily make way to your side, swiftly kneeling to your level as he calls out for you once more.

“Y/N—Y/N” He’d breathe, firmly yet carefully placing his hands over you with intentions of picking you up, but his hold falters when his fingers briefly graze your skin, making him gasp in return. “Y/N you’re—you’re burning!”

This would be the only time you’d respond to him, barely able to move your head onto his direction, slightly opening your eyes to see him, a gaze that shows how much pain you were going through, barely able to understand what was going on, except for gently breathing the word that makes his heart squeeze out in pain.

“Na—Naoya…”

Any hesitation is effectively thrown out the window by that point, picking you up and rushing you towards their shared bedroom, all while barking orders to the nearby staff, demanding them to call for a doctor, as quickly as possible, unless they wanted to be jobless by the end of the day!

The staff reacts accordingly, and a few minutes later, the family doctor arrives to the estate, guided to your room and seeing that you were already being tended to, or at least that’s the idea he gets from the dampened towel on your forehead, undoubtedly in efforts of lowering your fever—which unfortunately, had been for nothing.

Well, he was there now, and he didn’t waste time either to get to work, quickly assessing your condition by the apparent symptoms, starting by your temperature, the color of your skin, and even the way you reacted to him while doing so, completely uncooperative—apparently, whatever put you in this state had evoked great instability from you, thus the doctor found it necessary to put you under sedatives.

But even when he was able to quickly gain control of the situation, the doctor still couldn’t arrive at a proper conclusion, less when the people around you had an even smaller idea of what struck you.

“I—I don’t know.” Naoya would respond, angrily, frustrated—and rightfully so. How come none of the servants had noticed your absence? Or worse, hadn’t seen anything that could hint as to what your sickness was about?! “Can’t you just—help her?!”

“That’s what I’m trying—I can’t help her if I don’t know what I’m dealing with.” The doctor responded as calmly as he could, but even he had to admit that everyone’s seeming ignorance annoyed him as well. “But I can still say that this seems much more than just a simple… sickness.”

“What do you mean?” Naoya frowns, the doctor looks at the nearby servants, tasked to be on stand-by if needed.

“I’d like to discuss this in private.” He tells them.

The servants don’t wait for Naoya to repeat the order before they’re already out the room and away from their earshot; a request that while didn’t raise any concerns from Naoya —if anything, he was glad their pesky, useless presence, was finally away from you— the doctor’s face was quick to convince your husband that something far worse than what met the eye.

And this made Naoya’s nerves reach a new limit.

“I told you; I don’t know what happened—” Your husband is quick to defend, believing the doctor was to interrogate him once more, only to be interrupted.

“You don’t need to tell me for me to know what happened.” He interjects, Naoya’s eyes widen.

“I’m lost.” Naoya scowls. “Stop talking cryptically and get on with it!”

“I’ve seen these symptoms before, Naoya. And as I said, these are not from a simple sickness, an allergy or any of the matter” He takes a deep breath. “I heavily suspect she was intoxicated—and not accidentally, but rather, intentionally.”

“Excuse me?” Naoya frowns.  “I told you to stop talking in riddles, say what you—”

“Poisoned, Naoya. I believe your wife was poisoned.”

Naoya’s world comes to a screeching halt.

You…

You were poisoned.

According to the doctor, you—You were attacked, besieged, with malicious intents.

Taken advantage of in the one place you’d never be on edge, your home, the same one he had repeatedly reassured your father that you’d be safe in—the Zen’in estate, home to the prestigious Zen’in clan! There was no safer place in the whole world! There couldn’t!

No one— no one wouldn’t dare do such a thing here—they knew better! Naoya would force them to now better…

Yet, someone dared to commit this transgression against you.

And to make it all worse….

Almost got away with it.

Who would even think of doing such transgression against you?! You?!

You had no quarrels with anyone, and even when you did, you handled things in such an amicable way just so you’d live peacefully, free of nonsensical arguments—you had no space for them in your life!

And yet, this still happened, and right underneath his nose….

There’s no doubt that he’ll put an investigation into order to find the bastard responsible for your suffering, and once he does, he’ll make him regret his existence, to the point he’ll have him begging for mercy—and even then, it wouldn’t be enough for Naoya.

However, that is something that will have to wait until he knows you’re safe, healthier, which the doctor had slowly began to help you with by giving you something that will immediately trap the poison from being further absorbed by your blood—activated charcoal, so he remembers— as well as some other prescriptions for side effects he wishes to prevent.

“Your wife was very lucky to survive, have you waited a second more—”

“I wasn’t waiting.” Your husband immediately responds, offended by his wording. “I wasn’t aware of this until I returned.”

The doctor presses his lips together, taking notice that throughout his whole visit, Naoya has never left your side, nor freed your hands from his.

“And I’m not surprised.” He silently admits.

Naoya hates the notion the doctor was implying, that this was an inside job. But considering the odd behavior of the staff, their seeming ignorance of your location and your status… it all pointed to that same conclusion.

The boiling fury inside him grows bigger.

“How could this be?” Naoya seethes.

How could someone get this far, this close to you, and no one suspecting a thing?

Your husband might’ve reproached the way the doctor expressed himself, but there was an undeniable truth behind them; he truly was lucky to have gotten back home just when he did, for had he taken a second longer, just one, you could’ve die—

Outside of that, the second most important question regarding this whole situation was…where was your staff? Why, of all days, were they absent?

Naoya is confident that if Mariya, your closest confidant, had been around, this would’ve never happened in the first place; the moment she saw anything out of the ordinary, she would’ve pulled all the stops and acted accordingly.

Yet, she was nowhere to be seen, and this makes Naoya both highly suspicious, and furious.

Where was she?  Where are the rest? Why would they leave you in your most needed time? Did they plan this? Plot against you?! Where the hell could they possibly—

“They’re going to be away for the weekend to visit their families.”

He suddenly remembers; you told him so earlier that week through a text.

“Will you be ok?” Naoya also remembers asking; he didn’t feel happy knowing you’d be alone without your most trusted staff.

“It’s just a few days, Naoya. Besides, they deserve a break! I don’t want them to get tired of me, you know?”  you laugh. “But you better come back quickly, ok? Just because they’re not around doesn’t mean I like being alone…”

“I won’t take long. I promise.”

If only he’d kept his word…

Well, if that was to be the answer to their absence, then it wasn’t fair to hold any level of animosity towards them, a weight being lifted from his burdened shoulders upon realizing your staff could strill be trusted in.  

Now all that was left to worry about is finding the culprit… and the status of that too.

“Is she ok?” Naoya would ask.

“She is, I managed to—”

“No, I mean… that.” Naoya’s voice hints to a silent agreement between the two. “Is… that ok?”

The doctor quickly catches what he means, affirming so by a nod. His reassurance lifts an immeasurable weight from his heart, even greater than the alleged betrayal of Mariya and the rest. One less thing to worry about.

“What now, then?”

“Since the damage was limited, to say the least, it won’t be necessary to move her to a hospital, however—”

She’s still in danger. Naoya concludes. More so if the attack came from someone inside… And what makes him think that just because he’s back they’ll stop trying?

If anything, seeing how close they got, they could try once again!

The mere thought is enough to push him into taking what is perhaps the most radical decision he could’ve taken in this situation, something that might come to torment him in the future, but until then, he won’t care, not even a bit; not when he had your safety to worry about:

That is… Naoya fired everyone, effective immediately.

He took no heed if any of them had been serving the family for years, if they were close friends of his father, or if their livelihood would be affected— Naoya just wanted them out of his sight, the estate, and as soon as possible, less they wanted to receive more of his anger, before continuing with the rest of his plan.

Due to the gravity of said situation, Naoya knew he had to contact your family; he also knew that you would’ve refuted the idea as soon as he mentioned it to you, not wanting to worry them if you’ve truly been attacked, but he couldn’t do this to your father; not when he was amongst the few people in the world he knew had your wellbeing as utmost priority— as well as holding a great amount of respect and appreciation for him, specifically for the way he welcomed him into your family.

Eiichi, your father, had to admit that getting a call from the Zen’in estate that didn’t come from you surely surprised him beyond any comprehension, and yet, that would be nothing compared to the shock he’d get upon knowing the motive behind said call; Naoya swore he almost heard your father passing out, or at least, in the process of.

“Poisoned?!”  Eiichi gasped, tightly clutching onto the phone—he might’ve as well passed out and dived into a nightmare! “Is she ok?! Where is she right now?”

“At the estate, with me—the doctor didn’t think it necessary for her to be hospitalized since he was able to stop the poison from spreading any further, but she still needs rest.”

“And the baby?”  the referenced secret between Naoya and the doctor; your pregnancy.

“Fine.” He breathes, swallowing. “The doctor didn’t tell me of any damage done to the baby…  but I’m—I’m still taking her to the doctor, just—just to be sure.”

“How could this happen?” Eiichi laments, heart breaking not only for you, but for Naoya as well. Your father knew all too well what it was to lose the love of his life, a pain that he would never desire on anyone, not even his own enemies…

One that he could slowly begin to hear in Naoya’s voice; oh, he could only imagine the pain he was going through, or what waited for him if he had lost not only you, but his child too.

But, well, the worst is over… at least for now.

“Someone from the staff did it.” Naoya declares, Eiichi’s heart sinks even further. “But I’ve taken care of it, I’ve fired everyone.”

And your father, contrary to Naoya’s relatives, did not question him. If anything, he seconded his decision, because had he been in your husband’s shoes, he would’ve done the same thing.

“Was her staff involved?” Your father asks, feeling a slight… anger with the idea that the ones you greatly cherished could’ve plotted against you.

“No, they were not; in fact, they were out of the estate when all this went down.” Naoya responds. “But I know that if they had been here, this would’ve never happened in the first place.”

“Bring her here, with me.” Eiichi immediately suggested, Naoya blinks, startled by the idea, if not against it.

“Father—"

“We can take care of her while she’s recuperating, take her to the doctor too. I’ll make sure that she has everything she needs. And not to misjudge your staff, or lack of, but the people here would never hurt her—they’ve known her since she was a child! There won’t be another safer place for her to be than here, Naoya. At least…  until she’s better.”

Previously, Naoya would’ve questioned the veracity of his words, done all he could to prove you were much better with him, but after this occurrence… he had to agree.

As much as it hurt him to know you’d be away from him, especially when you were pregnant… he knew this was the right decision to make. He couldn’t expose you to another similar situation—not even if he got a completely new staff… or if you didn’t want to leave.

So, Naoya accepts Eiichi’s suggestion, alongside buying him a ticket for the earliest available flight to Kyoto; a few hours later, your father would arrive to the estate, rushing to your side, keeping you company while tending to your every need as Naoya prepared everything for your departure.

When you eventually regained consciousness, you were (although a bit surprised) overwhelmingly elated to see your father visiting you, for it had been so long since you’d seen him, probably around the time you announced your pregnancy!

However, that excitement would soon diminish when Naoya told you why he was there… alongside the cryptic explanation of your “sickness.”

“It was an allergy.” Naoya would say, not wanting to stress you by the fact that you were intentionally poisoned, although that excuse did little to stop you from doing so. “Rare, but it can happen, especially with pregnant women.”

“An allergy…? But I didn’t…” you frown.

“It happened to your mother, once.” Eiichi followed Naoya’s lead. He hated lying to you, but… he concurred that keeping you safe, both mentally and physically, was worth doing so. “It’s nothing but hormonal changes, so don’t worry much about it.”

“I guess…” you frown, pressing your lips. “But that still doesn’t explain why I have to leave.”

“We need to check what caused your allergy” Naoya responds. “It might be something about the food, the flowers, or even the wood; I rather you be safe than to go through that scare again.”

“But is… all this really necessary?” Naoya gives you a tight smile and a nod. “Naoya, I—"

“It’s not all bad, Y/N.” Naoya says.

“Besides, don’t you want to spend time with your papa? It’s been so long since I’ve spent time with my adorable pumpkin!” Eiichi laments.

“Dad!” you gasp, flustered by his words. “Don’t—don’t say that in front of Naoya…”

“What? It’s true! And that’s all I’ve ever wanted to do since I learned I’m going to be a grandfather!”

“Stop it!” your face becomes redder. “You’re embarrassing me!”

Naoya chuckles; it’s not like he’s seen you in… worse situations. Or better?

“But… I guess a visit is overdue.” You eventually concede, Naoya and your father sigh out of relief. “Though what about Mariya, Haruko, and Hitomi?”

“They’ll go with you, if you want.” Naoya says; he doubts they’ll say no, especially after knowing of the whole fiasco that occurred when away, might even offer themselves before he suggests the idea.

“If I didn’t know any better, sounds like you want me gone.” You jest, Naoya frowns. “It’s a joke, of course…”

“There’s nothing more I would like than you staying here, but until we figure out what caused that reaction from you, I’d rather not risk it.”

“It’s only temporary, Y/N. Besides, look—I brought you gifts!” Eiichi says, taking out the bag he brought from home seemingly out of nowhere, filled with things he knew you’d love, such as sweets, your favorite mochi’s of course, alongside some plushies that would always brighten your day when you were a child. “And there’s much more back home…”

Naoya can’t help but feel relieved you had your father for support, but at the same time, a bit jealous and, well, threatened. Not for bad reasons, of course, it was simply because how the hell did he not think of bringing you gifts first?!

“Dad… you’re embarrassing me in front of Naoya.”

“Ah, that’s a parent’s bane, isn’t it? To always embarrass their children—you’ll see what I mean when you both have your baby.”

Perhaps the main reason why you ended up agreeing to leave was because your pregnancy did not seem affected by your supposed allergy; had it been you would’ve refused to leave your husband’s side!

… Well, you still would’ve refused either way, but perhaps a bit more. You hate the idea of being away from the father of your child for too long, after all.

“I don’t think so—Naoya and I are going to be the cool parents, you’ll see.”

“That’s what your mom and I thought, and look at me now, can’t even say anything without you telling me I’m embarrassing you!” Eiichi says, you chuckle.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, mom was cool! You were always the funny one!”

Naoya smiles.

Now he knows for sure that there’s no safer place for you to be in than with your family, even if that were to be on the other side of the country…

After Naoya prepared everything for your departure, the three eventually made way to the exit, where you and your father would bid their last goodbyes.

“Won’t you accompany me?” you ask, a slight pout on your face, he smiles in hopes to cheer you up, but really, he felt miserable.

“I want to, but I can’t.” He explains. “I have to deal with this as fast as possible if you’re to come back quickly.”

“… Will you visit me over there, at least?” you frown.

“Yes. As soon as I have a chance, I’ll go see you.” Naoya promises.

It had all been too soon, just a few hours ago he arrived at the estate, and now, you’re leaving. Naoya laments that he couldn’t spend a day with you before your departure… but he guesses this to be a rightful sacrifice for your well-being.

“I wouldn’t dream of keeping away from my wife and baby for too long.”

At those words, Eiichi couldn’t help but frown out of sorrow.

It wasn’t fair that neither of you had been able to enjoy this wonderful occasion as you should.

He still remembers the excitement in your voice, the glint in your eye, and the beaming smile on your lips when announcing your pregnancy—alongside the nerves that came with it, of course, which Eiichi eased by reminding you and Naoya that their enthusiasm was nothing but indicative they were already on their way of becoming the loving and supportive parents their baby needed.

But as excited as both were, Eiichi had to cruelly put a stop to their celebrations, especially after Naobito was made aware of this, who wished to proceed by announcing the news to the whole community.

“I have to disagree, Naobito.” Eiichi would be the first to reject the idea, much to everyone’s surprise—yours, specifically.

“And why is that?” He’d ask back, not understanding why the father of the expecting mother, of all people, would be the one to reject so.

“It’s best if Y/N keeps her pregnancy a secret, at least… until it’s undeniably noticeable.”

“But… why, dad?” you asked. This was a moment of absolute joy, to be treated as such! So why did he intend to keep it a secret? Was he… disappointed?

No. Never. He was nothing but happy to see you happy and become a grandfather himself for the first time in his life!

But as a man of his years, he’s learned to be cautious of how said blessings are to be celebrated, as well as seen his fair share of happiness turn sour… things that Eiichi would rather take upon him than allow them to ever befall you.

“Because there’s people out there that might try to hurt you—or the baby.”  He’d explain. “Naobito cannot not deny this, but if anyone hears that you’re pregnant with the Zen’in heir’s baby, those that want to hurt the Zen’in clan, or our family, will see this as the perfect opportunity to do so.”

“I’d never allow such thing, rest assured, there’s no safer place than—” Naoya quickly interjects, wanting to reassure your father, but Eiichi was set on his warnings.

“I wouldn’t have said this if I didn’t see it myself.” Eiichi reminds him, Naoya swallows. “We live in a highly competitive world due to the nature of our families; I’ve lost my wife because of this! And I’d be damned to allow it to happen again to my daughter.”

He hated to remind you of the harsh truth; hated to see how your face would sadden, the excitement for your first child, his first grandchild, quickly disappearing…

“Why would someone do that?” you murmur, frowning.

“They wouldn’t dare—I’ll make sure of it.” Naoya hisses.

Eiichi remained silent, sad for you and your husband. Because even if you’ve experienced first-hand what it is to lose someone through these matters, both have yet to fully understand the extremes those supposedly loyal to them can go to if properly incited. Especially for someone who had so much to lose, just as the elite members of prestigious Zen’in clan.

Even then, your father would not allow such pain to reach you, not the same way it almost did to him and your mother, so, he insisted you keep these news secret from the world—and if you must, only if you must, reveal it to your most faithful ones; the rest could learn when your stomach was too big to deny.

If you do so, keep your baby hidden from the world, safe from those that harbor nothing but pain and sorrow… all will be fine. Eiichi promises so.

…

Or so, that’s what everyone hoped would’ve happened, because if there’s one thing to be learned from this incident, is that no matter how cautious you were, word of your pregnancy still managed to land in the wrong ears, and now, were actively against it.

The question no longer pertained as to how, but rather, who; who was the author of this terrible act?

The notion that someone of Naoya’s relatives, indirectly informed through Naobito’s… drunken rambles, soon crosses the minds of your father and husband. If so, it would make sense as to why they’d use an innocent staff member to do the deed, keep their hands clean of the whole situation, instead of going to bigger extremes.

It’s the most probable of the theories, but they could not annul the following: jealousy from the servants.

Naoya considered that statement to be the most delusional one your father could’ve gathered, but he’d be wise to remember how others perceive him—or more like what he represented. It wouldn’t be too far-fetched that others would desire what he had, or him, in some cases. And naturally, you’re an obstacle to that goal, your baby even more so…

It wasn’t fair, but it was your reality.

Nonetheless, Eiichi and Naoya will still do whatever it takes to keep you safe.

“It’s just for a few days, pumpkin.” Your father would say upon seeing the sadness in your face, which remained even when reassured that Naoya would be with you as soon as possible. “Besides, you’re going to see your brother and sister too—they’ve missed you very much, you know? They’ve been wanting to spoil you and their future niece, or nephew!”

You smile, it’s good that even when in the storm, your family is still able to exude happiness. You could only imagine how enthusiastic they’d be when the baby was finally here.

“I know… I missed them too.” You admit, before looking over to Naoya one last time. “Well… I hope that whatever is keeping you here is quickly dealt with.”

“You won’t even notice I’m gone.” Naoya promises, placing a kiss on your forehead. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about anything—before you know it, you’ll be back at the estate, with me.”

That’s a promise he unfortunately, doesn’t know if will become true inside the promised timeline, but will do anything in his power so it does.

Either way, it’s safe to say that Naoya did manage to keep one part of his promise—and that would be the one where he reassured you wouldn’t even notice his absence, done through sending you endless amounts of gifts, every day, effectively filling your room to the brim with all things he’d knew you’d like, and some for baby too: from clothes for you, to cute onesies he’d like his baby to wear when she was finally here.

“You still think the baby is going to be a girl?” you’d ask through one of the many videocalls he’d make—one daily, at the very least. “Wait a minute… you better not have spoiled me!”

“I just know” He reiterates with shrug; you roll your eyes. “If not, then I’ll have lots of things to return.”

“Well, if it’s worth anything, I also feel like our baby is going to be a girl.” You smile, warming up Naoya’s heart. “I can’t wait to meet her—I just know she’s going to have your eyes!”

“Or yours, I hope.” He longs, you blush. “Have you been eating well, my love?”

“Yes; and no allergies yet.” You explain, Naoya feels relieved—at least the problem didn’t follow you there. “Maybe I was just unlucky that day, Naoya… Are you sure I can’t return to the estate yet?”

“Not until I’m sure you’re going to be safe here.” Naoya responds, and while his words are meant to be comforting, you can’t shake off the sense that something worse happened; that something far bigger than a simple allergy had struck you, specially with the way your staff and family would act around you, going as far as denying you of any information pertaining to the Zen’in.

But… if your husband had a reason to not say anything now, then the best you could do is trust him. The truth will come out eventually, you suppose. So instead you could focus on other pressing matters.

“Well, at least don’t send me too many gifts.” You continued. “While I appreciate them, between you and my father, I don’t think my house has enough room to store all the things you’ve both given me.”

“Who’s given you more things? Me or your dad?” Naoya nonchalantly asks, you gasp.

“Naoya! That’s not the—take it seriously! Control yourself with the gifts, ok?” you say, he chuckles, but ends up agreeing; at least until the topic has quieted down, because there’s no way in hell he’s going to let your father win the upper hand like that one day ever again. “Or at least save them to when I’m back at the estate… which I hope is soon.”

“Almost there.” Naoya says. “Just a few more things, and we’ll be together once again.”

… even if the answer was to be the same, you still needed to ask.

“Is… everything ok?”

Not precisely, not when he has yet to find out the one responsible for all this…

But he’s gotten a lead, an idea of where to start, of who to hunt—which he knows he’ll find in record time thanks to the fury he harbors, further motivating him to do this as quickly and precisely as possible just so he’d have you back home, with him.

“Nothing you should worry about.” He reiterates. “Just keep focusing on your health, the baby, and not doing anything strenuous.”

“I’m just pregnant, Naoya… nothing extraordinary. I still want to help around., you know?”

“I know, and you’ll be able to do that and more in due time, but for now, keep safe, for me, ok? And our little mochi.”

“When will I see you again?” you ask again, hoping that perhaps this time around, the answer will be different.

“Soon.” He promises. “Soon, my love.”

Once he deals with the bastard that hurt you.

Naoya will give them nothing but a glimpse of the sorrow and pain they’d put you through, his fury—make their life a living hell, make them regret the foolish idea that they could ever get away from it; and still, he doesn’t think he’ll be satisfied with his revenge.

He’d want more, he’d want everyone to know that his family are not ones to mess around with.

He’d burn the whole world to set the message across if necessary—and that would only be the bare minimum for you, the love of his life, and now, his baby…

His home.

[calumsargwife]

"You Are In Love"

calum hood x fem!reader

summary: the journey of how you and Calum found out you are in love.

warnings: use of cigarettes and mentions of alcohol, a little bit of bad language (if i let something out let me know!)

word count: 4.7k (damn)

note: well this one is completely based on the song from You Are In Love by Taylor Swift. i know it took a while but here it is, it's the longest i've ever written. i don't know if someone's gonna read this since it's so long but since you guys seemed to like the first one i wrote i decided to post this one. i never wrote something like this, so i hope you like it!! (English is not my first language so there may be some grammatical errors, sorry!)

One look, dark room. Meant just for you. Time moved too fast. You play it back. Light-hearted joke. No proof, not much. But you saw enough.

It was one of the many parties that took place at Ashton's house, people gathering for some reason to celebrate. The man honestly loved being the host, always making sure all of his guests were having a good time. The house was in a homely atmosphere (something Ashton always made sure was there), there was a little alcohol involved but nothing too crazy, the music was just the right volume and it was something everyone could dance to. There was good food and probably some fun board game that would make everyone a little more drunk.

It had all started about an hour ago when Calum decided to show up. It was cold, a November night where despite the weeks in advance, you could already feel the Christmas spirit.

Calum would be lying if he said he wasn't nervous. He was going to see you after the last date you two had. Before knocking on the door of the house, he briefly remembered the last outing that you shared, it was incredible.

After so long Calum had finally dared to confess his feelings for you, one of his best friends in the whole world. And you, who was completely surrendered at the boy's feet, said that you felt the same. You two met five years ago and connected instantly, not knowing how or why but it happened and both of you were so happy, you felt that the time you had with each other was never enough to stop being surprised. Being friends first had given the two of them a kind of comfort like no other.

And that's how it was, in the last few weeks you shared several dates and everything was going great, you already knew each other but with all this that was happening, you learned even more things. Everything was getting more serious and Calum was scared, but he liked it.

Once inside the house, Calum took off his coat and scanned the room looking to meet your eyes, and the moment that happened, he gave you a look that was meant only for you. A look that Calum only saved for when he looked at you. A look that made you blush in the best way.

However, Calum quickly found himself being greeted by his friends. You sighed but didn't complain, you repeated in your mind the moment in which your eyes connected and you couldn't help but feel how your breathing stopped slightly because of those eyes that you had learned to love so much in this last few years.

It all ended up being just a quick glance. The night continued and after a while, you ran into Calum (well, he ran into you). He was wearing a black shirt that accentuated his figure perfectly, you would have loved to take him in your arms at that very moment. He knew that, he had worn this shirt because he knew you would like it.

You met about an hour after Calum had arrived, he was having a good time with his friends but at some point he felt that they were holding him back too much from being able to have a chat with you. 'Who am I kidding?' That was the first thing he thought when he saw you again, Calum had been wanting to talk to you all night. You were turning your back on him while looking at the big city from the balcony of the apartment. You had on a beautiful black silk dress, it left your back bare, something that drove Calum crazy.

"Missing me already?" Calum joked after he finally found you alone "I bet you're getting bored without me." He assured in a teasing tone. He approached you and analyzed you, you were wearing a gold necklace and your nails were painted red, you held a glass with some alcohol. His hand gently brushed your arm and you could feel an electrifying touch that woke up every fiber inside you. You love how he makes you feel.

You rolled your eyes playfully at his very confident statement. "I was getting along pretty well without you, actually." You smiled and looked sincerely into his eyes this time. "I missed you." You could see how his eyes were filled with intrigue at what you had said, waiting for a reconfirmation. "I really did."

Calum smiled sweetly and couldn't help but look away from your beautiful eyes for a second to calm down. He really didn't want to blush right now. "Well, I'm glad. I've been thinking about you all night."

It might seem like a simple thing but it really makes you happy to hear that he thought of you the same way you thought of him. You liked knowing you were on his mind.

Small talk, he drives. Coffee at midnight. The light reflects. The chain on your neck. He says, "Look up". And your shoulders brush. No proof, one touch. But you felt enough.

Of course your night didn't end there. Calum proposed that you spend the night at his house and you immediately said yes. The truth is that the time you had spent at the party had not been enough for you two.

You felt a kind of excitement as Calum drove home. You guys weren't talking much in the car, the background music set the mood perfectly and you didn't need anything to talk about either. Small talk was enough to keep you entertained along the way.

Once at Calum's house, you guys set about relaxing. Still formally dressed, you were sitting in the chair that Calum had located on the terrace of his apartment. A perfect place to look at the stars.

Two cups of coffee at midnight, one for you and one for Calum. Drinking coffee gives you the little hope that you could stay up longer just to spend more time together, because it wasn't enough, it was never enough. You two loved to talk, you always had something to talk about and it never got boring. Maybe at some point you didn't have a topic of conversation, but you guys invented something so you could have an excuse to be together. Because it wasn't enough. Calum didn't know how to explain this insatiable feeling of wanting to always be chatting with you, something that really surprised him since he was normally a person who enjoyed silence.

You smiled sweetly at something Calum had said and looked away from him so you could look at your phone for a few seconds to see the time. It was half past twelve at night, already entering the early morning. You smiled to yourself at the feeling of being calm with the boy you liked.

You were wearing a gold chain with a 'C' charm on it, a cheesy and stupid gift Calum had given you for your birthday a couple of years ago. He could appreciate how it shone in the moonlight.

Speaking of the moon, Calum realized that it was at its highest point. He looked at you and spoke to you softly, since you were still looking at your cell phone. He said "Look up" and you immediately looked up from your device. You settled into the chair with the cup of coffee in your hand and you felt how his shoulder lightly brushed against yours.

And that was it. That was enough to know what you felt.

You can hear it in the silence, silence, you.

Calum was fully focused on the moon, leaving you a perfect view of his profile. The place was silent and you could still clearly hear the feeling that you now knew you had. You were afraid of being stunned by this, but actually, the opposite happened, it was all you wanted to hear.

It was so clear, so loud and so strong. You felt a pressure in your chest, that pressure was just letting you know that what you were feeling was actually true. Your insides were full of heartwarming thoughts in just a second, but you loved every single second of it.

The fact that the place was completely silent and that Calum had no idea what you were thinking about added a bit of fun to all this, if only he knew.

You were completely immersed in this new sensation, which was leaving you completely cut off from all the other things that might be going on around you.

You can feel it on the way home, way home, you

You returned home only the next day in the afternoon, the sky was beginning to darken. After a little argument about Calum wanting to take you home and you saying it wasn't necessary, you were finally making your way home on your own. You wanted to get some air and think about what had been revealed to you last night.

As you walked home you could feel the refreshing air in your hair and in your arms. You clung a little more to Calum's sweatshirt.

And that pressure in your chest came back. You've never liked a sensation so much. You couldn't help but smile in love as you looked at the scenery around you. The night was beginning for some.

You loved him. You loved Calum. You love him.

You just couldn't believe it. The idea of falling in love for you was something that was long gone and not something you expected to find again. You especially didn't expect to fall in love with Calum.

But at the same time you were not surprised. Loving Calum was so easy, he was just perfect. You couldn't not love him. He made it look so easy. And you loved loving him, it was something that just filled you up inside and you were so happy that the person you love is Calum.

You continued walking down what would soon be a dark street. Focusing on the sound of your shoes or how the things you found on the way home reminded you of him. Everything reminded you of him.

You can see it with the lights out, lights out. You are in love, true love. You are in love.

Once you got home you closed the front door and leaned your back against it. You sighed while smiling. The whole room was dark, the lights still not on.

In one of the furniture where you had photos with your friends you came to distinguish your favorite photo of the whole house. It was a photo of you and Calum hugging in front of the stage where he and the boys were going to give their show later. There were hours left for the concert and you took advantage of the moment to take pictures. You smiled to yourself remembering.

God, you are in love.

Morning, his place. Burnt toast, Sunday. You keep his shirt. He keeps his word.

It was a Sunday morning at Calum's house. The night before for the two of you had been magical. The two of you hadn't felt this connection with someone in a long time and you knew it.

You were lying on the bed, giving each other lazy kisses on the lips, on the neck, on the cheeks, on the arms, everywhere. Calum wanted to kiss every inch of you.

Calum sighed and moved slightly away from you. "I'm gonna make us breakfast, okay?" He said to then give you one last kiss on the cheek while inhaling your sweet perfume.

"Okay" You replied with a goofy smile as you watched him go to the kitchen.

A little later you stretched one last time and got out of bed too, looking for something to wear. You looked at one of the shirts Calum wears to train, you decided on a navy blue one.

As you walked to the kitchen you remembered what Calum had told you before you guys fell asleep. "I'll be here in the morning." And he kept his word, he was there. You looked at him before entering the kitchen, he was making coffee and toast for the two of you.

"The coffee smells good." You said as you walk into the kitchen. Brushing his arm with your hand when you passed by.

"I hope it tastes just as good as it smells." He answered with a smile without turning to look at you yet, taking another slice of bread to toast.

You chuckled softly, remembering the times Calum had been disappointed in how his own coffee turned out.

At the sound of your laughter Calum turned and looked at you. His heart skipped a beat at the sight of you in his shirt, admiring how well it looked on you. He would be lying if he said he doesn't want that to be his sight every morning. He loved having you in all his everyday things.

"That color suits you." He said admiring you while he wrapped his arms around your waist and left you a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you." You answered while looking away so that your blush is not so obvious.

Calum chuckled very softly, keeping the smile on his face. He tucked one of the hairs that was on your face behind your ear and that made you turn your head to look at him.

Calum couldn't help but get completely lost in your eyes, it was something that completely mesmerized him and he knew it, he always knew it. From the moment he met you, your eyes were what he liked the most about you.

You were also completely lost by him, admiring the details of his face, seeing how there was a slight beard on his jaw, something that you knew he was going to shave later. You analyzed the small freckles around his nose, they had appeared after spending a day in the sun at the beach with his friends.

Then you raised your eyes to his and they stayed that way, looking at each other. Calum absolutely watching every move you made, admiring everything.

You don't know how long you stayed like that until you could smell the burnt smell of toast and Calum's scared face, who broke away from you in a second and immediately went to see the toaster.

A moment later he turned around and looked at you with a pout. "They burned."

Let out a laugh and you approached to give him a kiss on his pout. "We can make pancakes." You proposed with a sweet smile.

Calum smiled, completely melting at your smile. "We can, but none of those cute little eyes of yours when I'm cooking. I don't want burnt pancakes."

And for once, you let go. Of your fears and your ghosts. One step, not much. But it said enough.

Today was the day. 5 Seconds of Summer would release a new song. One that Calum personally wrote. And to say that the boy was nervous was an understatement.

He was feeling very scared for some reason. He didn't understand why. This song was beautiful and he was very proud of it, it was also an extremely vulnerable song that had taken him months to write, he was afraid of looking too fragile in the public eye and that people might not like it.

To be honest, it's a song he wrote for you, although he doesn't know if you were aware of this. The song talked about what it was like to let someone into your heart again and how scared he was to suffer again and to let go of all those ghosts from the past that haunt him.

God, he was nervous.

The boys had proposed to meet up for the launch, but Calum declined, declaring that this time he'd rather stay at his house with you by his side.

You two were sitting on the terrace of Calum's house. He was smoking a cigarette for the nerves and you were having some vanilla tea (it was your favorite and Calum had bought it especially for you). His leg was bobbing up and down as a sign of his current anxiety. You put your hand on his thigh wanting him to stop and you looked at him with a little tenderness.

"Cal, what's going on? You've been very nervous for the last few hours." My God, Calum hated how well you could read him.

He never talks about this, with anyone. Talking about his feelings is something he struggles with a lot, always in the end transforming what happens to him into songs. But Calum knew that talking about this with you was the right thing to do, knowing that if he wants to be with you then he has to start trusting you with these kinds of things.

"It's just... It's been a while since I wrote something like that, y'know... I know I always write about past experiences but this song is about the two of us and I don't know..." Calum sighed trying to collect his thoughts. "I guess I'm afraid of looking weak in front of everyone, I guess, I don't know..." It made him angry that he couldn't tell you exactly what he was thinking, he didn't know what he was feeling at that moment.

"Calum, the song you wrote is great, it's vulnerable, yes, but that makes it even more meaningful. I think that's going to make people like it more, you know?" You caressed his leg in search of being able to give him comfort.

"I know, I know..." Calum prepared himself for what he was going to say, it seemed to him something very stupid and meaningless but he knew it was necessary. He took another drag on his cigarette and turned so he could look you in the eye. "I think it scares me that once you know how I really feel you're going to run from me." He explained with a slightly shaky voice.

You couldn't help feeling how your heart softened for him. You brought your hand to his cheek and he leaned into it. You felt him visibly relax at your touch. "That's not gonna happen and you know it, right?"

He nodded as he studied your face with those sweet brown eyes of his. Calum didn't tell you but he really felt a weight less on his shoulders. He could feel how he was getting closer and closer to a certain feeling that he had been avoiding for a long time.

"I don't want to write a heartbroken song about you."

You kiss on sidewalks. You fight and you talk.

Calum loved walking with you down the street. Unlike his past relationships, this time he was not afraid to go out with you and show how much he liked you, he is not ashamed and wants to show the world who he's with.

But at the same time he wants to protect you, he doesn't like how public his life can be sometimes. He liked the feeling of his hands rubbing against yours when you are walking down a street with a lot of people, he liked having something just for him and that no one else can take it away from him.

His favorite part is when you're finally on some empty sidewalk and he can finally kiss you freely, he's dying to kiss you anywhere, but he knows that if he wants everything to remain as private as it is now, then he has to take certain precautions.

However, this has brought several discussions in the relationship.

"Why are you so angry?" Calum asked once he closed the door to his apartment, you glared at him a few feet from him.

"It annoys me that every time we walk into a room with the least amount of people, you immediately let go of my hand as if I were some kind of plague!" You knew why Calum was doing it but at the same time you couldn't help but get frustrated. Sometimes you wish Calum wasn't a public figure.

"I don't treat you like you're a plague! I just want to keep things between us!" Calum was frowning and breathing heavily.

"I understand that you want to have your private life but sometimes I feel that you exceed yourself! You don't want anyone to see us at all and it's tiring me!" You felt like a fool wanting to cry about this, but you couldn't help but make your eyes go glassy with anguish.

Calum sighed before answering, thinking about what he was going to tell you. The other day you guys had a fight over the exact same issue before going into a party. "If you know why I do it then why are you angry?!" He yelled at you, feeling how anger began to enter his body.

"Because sometimes it seems like you're ashamed of me!" You angrily yelled at him all your frustrations, trying to make him understand.

"You know that's not how I feel." He stated with a rather serious tone, you've never heard him talk like that.

"I would know how you feel if you would just tell me!" You are not going to deny that you felt a weight less after saying that. Calum always had trouble expressing his feelings but with such crucial things it was important that he tell you.

He clenched his jaw. "Are you always going to reproach me for the same thing? You know it's something I'm working on! It's not easy and yet you keep insisting!" Calum ran his hands through his hair in frustration.

"Of course I'm going to keep insisting if I don't see any change! It's always the same, I have to pressure you to tell me what's wrong with you and I don't want it to be like that anymore." You ran your hand under your eyeliner to wipe away a stubborn tear that had escaped. "I feel that you don't trust me to tell me your things and I don't know what I have to do anymore..." Now your face was covered by tears in a matter of seconds.

Calum completely collapsed seeing you cry. He quickly approached you and took your head in his hands to kiss your hair and then snuggle you against his chest. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, you're right, sorry." He gave you small kisses on the temple in search of giving you comfort. "I'm sorry, you're right."

One night he wakes. Strange look on his face. Pauses, then says. 'You're my best friend'. And you knew what it was. He is in love.

It was another one of the nights where Calum stayed the night at your house. You two were asleep in your bed, snuggled up to each other, him being that natural warmer that he is.

Calum was lying on your chest, you were cuddling lying on your bed. About an hour ago he had fallen asleep after a tiring day in the studio with the boys. You, on the other hand, weren't sleepy, so you stayed on your phone, fooling around on social media.

Suddenly, you felt how he moved over you and how he began to wake up.

Calum moved off of you to lie next to you, he had a weird look on his face, you were trying to figure out what he was thinking.

Then he looked at you. "You're my best friend."

And you knew, you knew what was happening to him. He was in love. In love with you.

"You're my best friend too, Cal." You smiled sweetly at him and he could feel how he melted, your smiles always killed him in the best way. You put your hand on his jaw and brought him in for a sweet, passionate kiss, making sure it was one that would take his breath away.

"You're going to kill me one day." Calum hid his smile against your arm and blushed. You laughed and stroked his curls tenderly.

You can hear it in the silence, silence, you. You can feel it on the way home, way home, you. You can see it with the lights out, lights out. You are in love, true love.

It was days later where Calum was returning from the studio to his house, he was driving and found himself stuck in traffic. Too distracted thinking about you to be bothered by the number of cars.

You guys hadn't seen each other all week due to your respective jobs and he couldn't miss you more. It was night and not having the lights on inside the car made everything dark, his mind was too busy to put on music, so he enjoyed the silence there was.

Not getting you out of his head, he started humming your favorite song. Giving little taps on the steering wheel to the beat of the music.

And that's when it hit him.

"Oh, shit." Calum stopped everything he was doing to focus on what he was thinking.

He couldn't help but think a 'really?'. Hell, he hadn't felt this in a long time.

Unconsciously his heart began to race. His head was going a thousand an hour and the only thing that appeared in his mind was your name.

He couldn't believe what he was feeling. A kind of pressure settled in his chest and he loved it. Calum couldn't help but smile as he ran his hands over his face and tried to hide the smile he had, even though no one was there to see it.

"I love her. I fucking love her." Calum declared as he looked out the window, the car in silence after his confession. He felt himself blushing even though no one had told him anything and how he had an incredible desire to see you.

And for the first time in his entire life, after so many broken hearts and failed relationships, Calum wasn't afraid to love. He didn't feel that irreparable fear that something was going to go wrong, he felt love, true love.

He used to be scared, so, so scared. Fear that leaving another relationship will leave him completely destroyed and without any hope of ever being loved again. Calum always had that feeling that perhaps he was destined to be alone, believing that this had been proven after so many situations in his past.

But everything changed when you arrived. From the first moment your eyes met, he knew that you had come to change his life. You became the light of his life in just a second and that scared him at first. But he didn't care, he thought if he had to have his heart broken for you then so be it. However, now he knew that it would not be like that, you were not going to leave and he knew that you were going to take care of his heart perfectly like no one had ever done before.

Calum was sure you were meant to be together.

Because he was in love.

And he wanted to believe in love for once.

[aldryrththerainbowheart]

Another BG3 companions appreciation post, this time after the tiefling party. (Updated ver.)

When I say I love all the companions what I mean is I love all their traits, even the negative ones.

I love Gale who flexed big words and magical knowledge and his connections to Mystra since day one. Call me crazy but without knowing the background I AM impressed by his achievements and knowledge. Of course, his ambition led him too close to the sun, and like the fabled Icarus, he fell. But he's trying to make amends. He's completely surrended to the idea of finding an empty lonely spot for himself and dying alone in excruciating pain and filled with regret. Not even once did it cross his mind that Tav or others would want to continue journeying with him after he confesses about the orb. The moment he told me about his cat I stared at the screen in disbelief because I knew I'm suck his di-

I love Lae'zel who could've killed me right away on the Nautiloid but instead shared all the information with me, helped me fight my way through, tolerated everyone else, and from what I've seen from others Githyanki is actually really nice. She never lets Shadowheart's sneers get to her, offers Gale to teach him to fight, and answers all questions Wyll asks her about her culture. I was genuinely surprised when she not only complied when I ordered her around during the interrogation of Zorru or the confrontation of the Githyanki patrol but also thanked me for stepping in. Her honest, no-nonsense attitude is so refreshing in the story where everyone has secrets and you always know only half of the information if any at all. Everyone in the camp is hiding something from Tav except her. Say what you want but with Lae'zel, what you see is what you get and I really, really like that.

I love Shadowheart because she tries to be a bad guy but that just isn't her. Despite her church's teachings and her secretive and prickly attitude. At the end of the day, she's just a lonely, scared, and lost young woman who was put on a dangerous mission and is expected to deal with it alone. I don't know much about her yet but it's clear from her talks about Sune and various scriptures I found in the game about Dark Justiciars and clerics of Shar... and in all those stories, when they finally got the recognition of their goddess or they've completed their task, all that awaited them was emptiness... That's no way to live for Shadowheart. I can see the small glimpses, just like in Lae'zel, of desire, curiosity and so much want. She was forced to live in a place that forbade any individuality or anything except blind obedience. To just be a pawn for the big guy. But both she and Lae'zel could be so much more than that. Drinking up everything the world has to offer. I really wish that for them.

I love Wyll because...it's Wyll?!? I cannot stress enough how much I am fond of characters that are just good, kind, and selfless. I never get tired of heroic characters who honestly are in it just for helping people. Wyll was living a life of leisure and could be the prodigal son for the rest of his life. Instead, he picked up his sword, donned his stupid superhero name, and went on saving lives. He even went as far as making a deal with the devil just so he could be the hero of the people, not because he enjoyed the fame but because of his ever-present need for charity. He doesn't let anything, not even the tadpole or Mizora get in his way. He could've been one of those Martyrs who blindly follow the black-and-white definition of good and bad, killing Karlach right away. But he spared her, even if all it gained him was punishment. There's something so pure about him in the way he just wants to believe. I'm pretty sure he saw his fair share of fucked up shit while adventuring but he still wants to uphold these ideals of heroism. The boyish chuckle when I insisted that I wanted to dance with him... I'm not smiling like an idiot you do!

I love Astarion not for being the seductive vampire fantasy I thought him to be, but for the absolute chaos gremlin menace he truly is. He's the orange cat, the possum screaming at you from a garbage can, the raccoon hugging a chewed piece of moldy bread. His snark is impeccable, and his over-the-top mannerisms never fail to make me grin like a maniac. I'm strictly good-aligned but I watch him run around causing Situations and I'm like "Yes, you do that sweetheart. You deserve it." There are already many long detailed posts that describe shit he's been through so I'll only say this. I never pitied him or felt sorry for him. I admire him. Sure his path to recovery is nothing short of a mess. He hasn't had much chance at a good ending. But he took every fight kicking and screaming, not willing to give up and he has my respect for that. Because sometimes hope comes in the form of spite and anger. I love watching him rediscover himself at all points in life. I love Astarion the way he is (little shit) while simultaneously believing he can get better, and if that's wrong I don't wanna be right.

Ugh. I'll edit this later and other companions, I'm too tired now.

[swappetf11]

Ken and

Ken and Allen have been best friends since they were kids. No one understood how they were friends as the two at total opposites. Ken is a muscular, hairy, musky, horny, leather wearing cigar smoking dom gay man. Allen is a clean cut, lanky, straight prude, pushover who is easily walked on by others and he hates smoking. 

But the two have always made the friendship work. However Allen's new girlfriend hates Ken and had tried to pull Allen away from him. Ken fed up decides he needs to save his buddy. He goes to his boss at the gay bear bar and gets a special cigar. He blows the smoke into Allen's face the next time the two are hanging out. Allen under the smoke's influence takes the cigar and mindlessly begins smoking it.

The cigar feels Allen's mind with thoughts of the the new man he is meant to be. It gives him a desire to no longer shave or groom his body. He finds himself developing a desire to build muscle. His prudish ways sleep away as he becomes a horny slut. His personality changes gone is the pushover he is now an alpha dom. He no longer has an interest in women, now a gay man.

Ken doesn't see Allen again until his body has fully changed and he is new self. Ken is shocked but likes what he sees. Allen now in love with Ken fucks him and the two become a couple.

In the heart of Barbie Land, where fantasies know no limits, Ken and Allen's friendship took a daring turn as they delved into a world of kink and desire.

Fuelled by the transformative power of the mystical cigar, Allen's newfound confidence and dominant persona sent shockwaves through their vibrant community. With each passing day, Allen's hunger for exploration grew, his once-prudish inhibitions melting away under Ken's guiding hand.

Together, they explored the depths of their desires, pushing boundaries and embracing every twist and turn along the way. From leather-clad encounters in the dark corners of Barbie Land to steamy sessions fueled by the scent of cigar smoke, their passion knew no bounds.

As Allen's body continued to transform, his musky scent and rugged appearance only fueled Ken's desire further. No longer satisfied with mere friendship, their bond deepened into an intense and unyielding love.

In the shadows of Barbie Land's glittering skyline, Ken and Allen embraced their newfound identities as lovers, their passion igniting a fire that burned brighter than ever before.

With each kiss and caress, they defied the norms of their colorful world, proving that true love knows no boundaries, even in the midst of the most tantalizing of kinks. Together, they were unstoppable, their connection forged in the flames of desire and bound by the unbreakable bonds of friendship-turned-love.

In the dimly lit confines of Ken's playroom, the air was thick with anticipation as Ken and Allen surrendered to the irresistible pull of desire. Their bodies intertwined, each touch igniting a fire that blazed hotter with every passing moment.

With primal urgency, Ken's muscular frame pressed against Allen's, their breaths mingling in a heady mix of passion and need. Allen, emboldened by his newfound confidence, met Ken's gaze with a hunger that mirrored his own.

As their lips met in a feverish kiss, years of suppressed longing erupted between them. With every caress, every whispered word, they surrendered to the intoxicating ecstasy of their union.

With skilled hands and eager mouths, they explored every inch of each other's bodies, each sensation sending shockwaves of pleasure coursing through them. Allen's transformation into an alpha dom was complete as he took control, guiding Ken to new heights of ecstasy.

In a crescendo of desire, they finally came together, their bodies moving in perfect harmony as they reached the pinnacle of pleasure. In that moment of pure, unadulterated bliss, Ken and Allen were no longer just friends—they were lovers, bound together by a passion that knew no bounds.

As they lay entwined in each other's arms, spent and sated, they knew that their journey had only just begun. Together, they would explore every facet of their desires, pushing each other to new heights of ecstasy with every touch, every kiss, every whispered promise of love.

[subliminalbointext]

Assimilation #3: All Life Surrenders to the Master

Gabrielle’s friends knew that she was drunk when she insisted, “Guys, guys, I’m not Gabby tonight, okay? I’m Gabr-ielle.” No one had ever seen her like this. She was the straight-laced one, the good kid who didn’t break habit in college. But tonight, just for one night, she wanted to fuck around.

There was a pause among her girlfriends before they all burst out laughing. “Shut the fuck up!” Katy shouted. “You’re so drunk.”

Gabrielle shook her head. “Not drunk enough!” She took another sip from her long island.

The Gabby embargo was just a small part of her big plan for hot girl summer, which Katy had come to call “the summer of fucking strangers and forgeting about Ty.” It started with the tight red dress that curved its way down her body. She’d never felt this hot before in her life and she wasn’t going to waste this energy tucked away in a booth at the club. The new Gabby–Gabr-ielle–liked to dance.

“Let’s get back out there,” Gabrielle said, eyeing a group of white boys in pastel polos and khaki shorts. Not her type, but she was up for anything tonight.

Katy shot a side glance to Crystal as the girls slipped out of their booth. “Watch her, okay?”

The girls were used to getting fucked up, but Gabby had a habit of ditching the group before the second round of cocktails. They’d all shared a laugh when she told them about the plan, but the way she was grinding on every eligible stranger tonight showed just how serious she was. She was testing them. First, to see if they measured up to Ty. Second, if they had the potential to be even better.

It wasn’t like she was looking for a replacement. Gabrielle wasn’t even close to getting back into serious dating. But Ty had certain skills that she missed late at night in the lonely darkness of her apartment. She’d give anything to feel that kind of human connection right now.

After working her way through a parade of spoiled white boys, she found herself alone and exhausted at the bar. That was where she met Justin. Tall, athletic, and crazy hot. They chatted about hot girl summer as he made her a drink, which somehow shifted to literature. He was smart too, it turned out. Justin was tending bar as he worked his way through engineering school, but he could hold his own in a conversation about books. (Nabokov? Overrated pervert. Flannery O’Connor? Overlooked genius).

Gabrielle’s drink was reaching the bottom when Justin asked, “What do you think about a guy like me?”

Gabrielle laughed. She tried her best to straighten her face and she said, “That depends. How often do you pick up girls here?”

“Completely honest?” Justin asked. “I don’t mess around at work. But I think you’re worth breaking the rules for.”

Gabrielle’s next laugh came out short and squeaky, more like a snorty hiccup. It was a goof line, but it was definitely just a line.

She smiled, tried not to laugh that awkward laugh again, then leaned playfully away from the bar as if to size Justin up. “Completely honest?” she mimicked him. “You’re running laps around these other boys right now.”

Justin smiled. The club lights made his eyes appear to glow, and Gabrielle saw hunger in them. It only made her want him more.

When Gabrielle’s back touched the cold ceramic, she gasped. The feeling was jarring enough to pull her from whatever thoughts had been running through her head as she followed Justin to the employee bathroom. They were almost certainly thoughts about Ty. But as she pressed her palms to the wall to brace herself for Justin, all she could think about was this moment. She’d never done anything this impulsive before. She’d never just followed her instinct.

Gabrielle closed her eyes as Justin nibbled at her neck. She swung her hands up from the wall and pressed them to his chest. When Gabrielle was a teenager she’d been attracted almost exclusively to lanky, nerdy men, but Ty was a linebacker for the Carpenter State Gremlins when she met him. A junior redshirt. He redefined everything she thought about her sexuality. Feeling Justin’s sculpted body beneath his sweater made her heart race. “Your lips feel so good,” she moaned. “But I want your body.”

Justin whispered, “Fuck!” and Gabrielle’s eyes snapped open.

“What’s wrong?”

“I need a condom,” he said, patting down his jeans.

“Baby,” Gabrielle heaved a frustrated sigh. “Don’t play with me.”

Justin gestured for her to stay put. “Wait here. I’ll be two minutes.” “Bay-by!”

Despite her protests, Gabrielle found herself alone in the small bathroom, nothing but the sound of the muffled bass from the club to keep her company. Two minutes, she thought. Then on to the next one. But the longer Gabrielle waited the more susceptible she was to second guessing. She already doubted every choice by nature, what was she doing waiting for some fuckboy in a public bathroom?

She closed her eyes again, tried to work herself up by picturing Justin’s body beneath that tight sweater. But once she was in the dark she only saw Ty’s face.

“It might hurt, but I’m with you. Don’t hold your breath.”

He’d been so gentle their first time. She could still feel him sinking inside of her, going slow and studying her reactions. It was everything she had imagined. Tender, loving, and passionate. And even though it hurt, she was eager for more.

“Breathe.”

God, she was getting so worked up thinking about it. Ty wasn’t even here and he could still work her up more than anybody. Gabrielle’s heart rate was picking up again, her legs were shaking. She needed to be fucked, and she needed to be fucked by him. She tried to talk herself into Justin. He was hot, he was smart. If she kept her eyes closed, maybe she wouldn’t even know the difference.

“Exhale. Exhale and…”

submit

The voice hit Gabrielle like a Mack Truck.

It wasn’t Ty’s, or Justin’s, or even Katy’s. It didn’t even feel human. The moment its words found her mind, everything snapped away as if the world was a conversation spoken over the phone and the line had just been cut. Thoughts of old boyfriends and rebounds, concerned friends, the stress of finals, internship applications. It was all gone, replaced with nothing.

Nothing but an instinct to submit.

“Hey! Fuck! Are you okay?”

Justin found Gabrielle slumped on the bathroom floor. His first fear was a seizure. Her eyes were closed, her body was tight, her muscles spasming. A line of drool had begun to dribble down her chin. Had she been high?

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Hey,” Justin repeated. He squatted down to her level and pressed his hand to her warm cheek.

come

Gabrielle’s eyes snapped open in response to the voice, sending Justin backward on his ass.

“Yesss,” she moaned. “Jesus, you scared the shit out of me,” Justin sighed.

Gabrielle tilted her head at the vague recognition that she wasn’t alone in the room, but her mind remained fixated on the voice.

“I must go to him,” she said.

“Go to who?” Justin asked.

Gabrielle pushed herself up from the floor, inching slowly up the wall until she was on her feet. She stumbled forward, her eyes sinking through Justin and into some vast oblivion where the Master was calling. She moved silently by him, even as he called out after her. She disappeared into the darkness of the club, and now Justin was the one lost for words.

By the time Gabrielle’s friends noticed that she was gone, she had followed the voice deep into the Romero forest. Dozens more joined her along the way. Pulled from their cars, their beds, their dorm rooms. There in the center of the forest they encircled a massive pond, its water as black as ink.

When the Master’s voice echoed once again in their minds–that phantom command to drink–its first converts dropped to their knees in obedience. Gabrielle pressed her hands into the dirt and drank from the pond. A feeling of peace washed over her as the Master took hold. It worked its way inside of her, rewriting the chemistry of her body. The Master was a better feeling than Ty, or Justin, or any frat boy could give her. It was the feeling she’d been searching for this whole time.

Everything in her relationship with Ty had been scripted. Even their first time, when Ty had been so gentle, Gabrielle had control of it all. She planned every detail, from the dinner to the brand of condom. With Justin, Gabrielle sought something more than just a simple rebound. But the whole time she’d really been looking for this. An instinct. And the base instinct of all life was to surrender to the Master.

The voices came to her just as the Master’s had, but she knew that these were human human. While the Master spoke to its vessels in commands, she recognized that the voices echoing through her head were thoughts. She was filled with an indecipherable wall of whispers like a packed theater anxiously awaiting the big show. Gabrielle tried to make sense of the noise, but the sudden surge overwhelmed her. Her body began to tremble, growing more powerful until her knees buckled and she was back on the ground. Her mind replaced with pure, unfiltered ecstasy. It wasn’t merely her own orgasm, but the feeling of all the Master’s vessels witnessing their awakening all at once. The cries that had echoed through their minds now pierced the cold air.

When her senses returned to her, Gabrielle found herself face to face with her own professor, Charlotte Blake. She’d known Professor Blake well in her human life, working closely with her as an editor for the Carpenter Bard. The vessels began to pair off now, cocks filling pussies, tongues licking clits, lips suckling from breasts, practicing transmission. Gabrielle landed in the soft dirt with her professor, her red dress thoughtlessly discarded in the weeds.

Professor Blake spread her legs before Gabrielle, the Master’s black liquid form spilling from her pussy. “Drink,” Professor Blake commanded with the same power as the Master’s voice.

Gabrielle obeyed, her mouth filling with the Master as she licked and suckled at her professor’s clit. Not her professor. Her fellow vessel.

“This is only the beginning!” she cried, her voice coming out in sharp gasps as tremors came in waves. “One by one we will spread, until the Master has taken over every home. All life surrenders to the Master.”

Gabrielle looked up at Professor Blake behind empty, pearl white eyes, her mouth dripping with her professor’s inky black sex. “All life surrenders to the Master,” she droned.

“Breathe, exhale.”

return

[sukirichi]

like crashing waves

Love comes to you like waves crashing upon one another.

REQUEST. mutual pining au + best friends to lovers + breeding kink 

CONTENT/WARNINGS. beach sex, unprotected sex, fingering, titty sucking, smut, nanami being a sweetheart <3 + the mandatory unedited note!

NOTES. thank you for requesting and joining the milestone event! I hope you like this <3

Your squeals echo as you run out of the car, arms flinging behind you with your best friend, Nanami, trailing behind you. His brows furrow upon seeing the familiar scenery of a light ultramarine sky, the sound of crashing waves calming upon his senses. His gaze falls on your waving form, figure jumping from the sand as you call out to him. Your smile is a lot brighter than the sun right behind you, and captivated, he follows your motions, his hands falling into the spaces between yours before allowing you to tug him closer to the beach.

“You brought me here,” he announces a little dazed, subconsciously gripping your hand tighter. “You remembered.”

“Of course I did!”

This isn’t just some regular beach. This is the place where the two of you first met when you were both little, awkward stubby legs running around the sand and scooping sand castles. As always, Nanami’s been more of a timid child, frowning at how you splashed on the water, uninterested with simpler tasks like the one he’s busy with.

When you see him silently enjoying himself, you trudge up to him. His hands immediately come up to protect his castle, having had his other friend Satoru kick and destroy them one too many times.

He’s surprised when you only gasp in awe, carrying your own plastic shovel and helping him build a bigger one afterwards. Your connection was natural – instantaneous.

Everything goes downhill from there. Despite living in another town, your family kept close contact, leading to you enrolling into Nanami’s middle school and staying solid all the way until he has to go attend Jujutsu High. He’s made it clear that he wishes to not be too attached to anyone or even get a wife, firm in his belief that he doesn’t want to hurt anyone by leaving a loved one behind. You, though? He makes an exception for you.

You’re his best friend and everything more, the one who pulled him away from being a salary man and telling him he could be capable of doing something wore instead of just fattening his bosses up while he does all the hard and honest work.

Nanami isn’t...cynical, per se, but he has a painfully honest outlook in his life while you’re more of the type to enjoy the little things, claiming that it’s never a sin to be happy despite the darkness looming. He’s been so used to you being a lot brighter and more cheerful than him, total opposites, really, that when the tables have turned and you’re the one holding his face as you scold him to save people and be the hero he is, he can’t really find it in himself to refuse.

Until now, he’s surprised you’re taking his profession extremely well. You never once blinked when he told you about his abilities and even takes away a fly head off your shoulder once, jumping in his arms instead to thank him.

He wonders how he ever came lucky enough to find someone like you, one that he actually cherishes more than he values the rules he’s set to keep himself in line.

Nanami doesn’t get the chance to think any more when you start stripping in front of him, your bubbling laughter syncing perfectly with the lapping of waves when you fling your clothes at him. He regrets ever letting you meet Gojo; you’re naughty, but never this pressing. His glare is half hearted as you run straight to the beach, however, and the blond man sighs.

His birthday was planned perfectly down to a tee. He’ll invite you over to celebrate, spend the silence and read books with you, have coffee, cuddle, and call it a day.

You had other plans in mind the moment you barged into his room though, dragging and pushing your friend all the way inside your car. His queries are silenced by the blasting radio, the man leaning back in his seat as his fingers tap against his thigh, wondering what you had in mind. There’s never really any telling with you and your spontaneous habits, so he just closes his eyes, allowing his blond hair to be swept away by the wind.

The last thing his wildest dreams could ever imagine is you taking him right back where everything started, his hands deft and careful as he unbuckles his belt. His cheeks tints a little because you never gave him the chance to pack, save for you throwing in hoodies and random underwear into a duffel bag.

Nanami folds both your clothes on the sand, shivering a bit from the chilly liquid. He glares at you once more with a tired sigh, about to ask how you have so much energy after driving for four hours straight when you splash water on him.

He is silent in comparison to your mocking laughter, waddling all around him until you’re whisking the water at every direction of his body.

Nanami stands there still like a statue, eyes closed to prevent the saltwater from hurting him, his hair sticking to his skin. His muscles are tense the whole while, preventing himself from just reaching over – not yet, anyway – for you were still too far away. But your guard is lowered, forgetting for a moment that your best friend is a jujutsu sorcerer and he’s spent years honing his senses until he’s mastered them to the extremity of his capabilities.

As your laughter grows closer, the splashing turning harder as it pads against his skin, Nanami opens his eyes and grabs you by your wrist hard.

You let out an ‘oop’ when he effortlessly pulls you into his chest, your forehead knocking against the solid muscles of his chest. “Ow!” you rub your forehead, lips formed into a pout and about to complain when your eyes snap wide open, the first thing in sight his pecs. Clearing your throat, you try to push yourself off him, suddenly completely aware of his warmth and his other hand sliding down your hip, lower, lower, and lower. “Nanami—”

“Having fun?”

His voice is low, a tinge of warning behind his words. Guiltily, you glance down at your wrist wrapped around his large, bony hand, noting the size and strength difference between the both of you.

You don’t want him to see you’re flustered – even if it’s painfully obvious already – so you snicker up at him, tilting your jaw upwards until he’s looking down straight at you. Nanami cocks an eyebrow in challenge, awaiting what snarky response would leave your lips when you smirk, using your free arm to splash on him one more time.

Nanami reels back when the water shoots straight in his eyes. Okay, you have to admit that maybe that was a little mean, but you’re having so much –

You’re immediately hoisted up into his arms, the water sliding off your body and the ground slipping off your feet. Panic rises in your system when you’re lifted off the seafloor, hands desperate and slippery as you cling onto his broad shoulders. “N-Nanami!” you protest, clinging to him like a koala when he only smirks, walking farther until he’s reached a spot he knows you can’t reach. “Hey, that’s cheating, put me down this instant!”

“Do you really want me to do that?”

Nanami knows you’ve surrendered to loss when you huff, leaving you with no choice but to wrap your legs around him tighter, nails subconsciously gliding down his back. He stiffens at your movements, brows furrowed as he ponders if bringing you here and rendering you helpless really is the best idea.

You’re pressed so close to him until space becomes nothing but a myth, your breathy intake of air wafting into his ear like bait. Nanami tightens his hold on your grip a bit, his swallowing audible at the feeling of your breasts pushed and flicking against his chest.

Fuck, of course you’re wearing your best bikini.

Nanami tries to push those lewd thoughts at the back of his head, drilling into his mind that you’re his best friend and you’re untouchable. He opts to stare beyond the horizon instead, train of thought too distracted of not letting himself be distracted by you that he doesn’t notice you pulling away to look at him.

He’s brought back to life when your wet palm caresses his cheek, thumbs smoothed over his cheeks. Nanami’s gaze flickers back to you, a sigh on his lips as he presses closer, daunting enough to leave a kiss on the crook of your palm.

That snaps something inside you.

You take his breath away – literally – as you cup his cheeks with both his hands, panting as you dove straight to his lips. Nanami’s reaction comes like reflex, both hands cupped under your ass as he meets your kiss with the same hunger and longing that has always been blossoming between the both of you the moment you both knew what love meant like.

Nanami’s groans are masculine and low when you begin to grind down on him, teasing as you push your breasts harder against his chest. Your nipples are hard enough that he feels the pebbled buds grazing across his chest, the sensation sending blood rushing to his cock.

He pulls away, cock swelling harder when he sees you all breathless with lips bruised. There’s something about knowing he’s the cause of you nearly falling apart like this, his mind wandering off a dangerous path at the fantasy of what you’d look like if he does something more.

The voice at the back of his head is responsible to keep him in his reigns, something he’s more than thankful of; otherwise he’ll completely ravage you senselessly at this moment.

“Do you really want our first time together to be out here in the open?” he rasps with short, quick pecks while you whine in his arms, the desire for that something more an aching and almost painful image on your face. “Won’t you like it more if we’re behind closed doors...” he brushes a thumb on your lip, coaxing your lips to part for him obediently. Nanami clenches his jaw when you eagerly suck at his thumb, your eyes dark and hazy with lust as you swirl your tongue around his digits. “...and I’d get to do whatever I want with you?”

“Are you going to hold back if we’re here?” you tease, popping his thumb off with a loud and wet pop. “It’s kind of romantic, don’t you think? The sun is setting behind us and it’s just the two of us anyway,” your words are breathy, panted and needy in its manner of delivery. Really, you can’t think straight anymore, not when his fingers are grazing over the swell of your ass and his face is bathed by the golden glow. Right now is perfect. “I just really want to be with you.”

You shudder when Nanami finally tugs your underwear to the side, the feeling of his fingers smoothing over your inner thighs and just hovering right where you want him to be enough to make you go crazy. You’re shaking, panting, almost crying.

Who knows how long you’ve wanted him – you’re simply too impatient if he plans to take his time with you.

A demand is ready to fall from your lips to just get him to take you already, but Nanami beats you to it, his pointer finger grazing against your slit. “I’m not going anywhere,” he promises, gritting his teeth the moment his thick, long finger sinks into you beautifully. Your head falls back in a moan as he pumps his fingers inside, testing the waters, and your pleasure is only amplified with the struggle of him trying to quicken his pace under the sea. “You’re so wet already.”

“Shut up, I-I wasn’t—”

“You’re beautiful,” Nanami growls, taking you by surprise when he takes two fingers to spring the knots of your top away. You gasp when your top slides off at the curve off your breasts before your erect nipples are revealed all for him, hard and swollen while he inserts another finger in your heat.

Clutching harder on his shoulders and bouncing yourself off on his finger, Nanami’s self control is tethering dangerously across the edge.

He leans down to suck at your breasts dutifully, fighting against the water that’s surrounding you both. “You’re extremely beautiful,” he praises, “Thank you – for letting me have you this way, for trusting me,” An elongated groan falls from both your lips when he sinks you down on his cock, your heat a great and mind-numbing contrast to the chill of the water. “I think you’re the best birthday gift.”

“Always so romantic, Nanami,” you managed through a laugh, allowing him to fuck into you senselessly. You’re all over him, hands wrapped around his neck, fingers tugging at his hair and tongue swiping out to taste the saltiness of the water on his skin. He’s amazing, so fucking good, and you snap your eyes shut while the soft, crashing waves match the rhythm of his thrusts. “No one could blame me for falling for you.”

“You are?” he grasps your ass until he squeezes it hard enough to make your walls clamp down on him, your grunting muffled by the teeth nibbling his earlobe. “Do you love me?”

“For so long.”

Nanami smiles even if you can’t see it, but it doesn’t matter. He’ll just have to show you, make you feel the words and emotions weighing heavily at his heart. Nanami leans sideways to capture your lips in a wet kiss, hands heavy and harsh compared to his passionate kisses as he keeps bouncing you up and down his cock. He’ll just have to show you.

“I’ll make up for the lost time then.”

You’re wearing your favourite hoodie of Nanami’s as you stand before the counter, stirring both mugs with your hands wrapped around it to warm you up. After your lovemaking session that has turned into more than two rounds, you’re downright spent, the both of you too tired to drive back home and opting for a hotel instead.

The aroma of coffee along with Nanami’s scent lingering on his clothes brings a smile to your face, your heart and skin still fluttery from today’s event.

Just then, strong arms wrap around your waist, soft lips coming down to press at the apples of your cheeks. You giggle in his arms as Nanami sways you both side to side, his head resting on your shoulder.

“I love you,” he announces quietly, so softly and tenderly as if it’s a secret only you’re allowed to know. You already became aware of his feelings – he’s shown it enough – but hearing it come from his own lips feels different.

Growing up, you always believed that love would come to you rapidly, overwhelmingly. But as Nanami swoops down to kiss you once more, his lips tasting faintly of the cake you both got on the way, you realize love is more like the soft crashing waves that comes gradually, slowly, yet constantly until you’re surrounded and it consumes you whole. It buds and grows larger until the crashing waves expand into an ocean of feelings that can’t even comprehend the depth of what you feel him, and you kiss him hard, embrace him hard – you just want to show him.

[holden-caulfield]

Sweet Resignation

main masterlist

SUMMARY: when the reader is assigned the mission to kill the only person she learned to love and that loves her back, she has to decide what's more important: her loyalty or her love.

PAIRINGS: assassin!draco x assassin!reader

WARNINGS: angst!! mentions of death, blood, knives, implied sex, death of a character.

WORD COUNT: 1089

A/N: i don't know about this, it's pretty sad and weird but it's my favorite thing i've ever written.

He laid there, unconscious, completely at your mercy. He couldn't have gotten out of there, not alive. Not when you were just inches away from him, one movement was all it would have taken. One sharp, decise, deep prod and he wouldn't have been a problem anymore.

He laid there, his eyes closed, his mouth slightly ajar, small exhales of air coming out of it and you wondered how someone so deadly could even come close to looking like heaven personified.

He laid there, engulfed in linen sheets that still held your perfume, that still held his own, that made you believe for just a moment in the possibility of a future that involved you both.

It didn't have to end like that, but you had made a promise. You would have killed him because that's what you were paid to do, not sleeping with him and most certainly not falling in love with him.

You could have ended it in a second. In a second you could have finished him and he wouldn't have felt anything. You could have but your hand was firmly set on his cheek, stroking the soft skin beneath it.

How weak of you, catching feelings for someone who would have eliminated you without hesitation in your place.

You couldn't bring yourself to loathe him, not when his face looked like that, his blond locks barely grazing his sharp nose, making it twitch from time to time in the hopes of getting rid of the vexatious feeling.

You ever-so-lightly moved the loose strands, uncovering his pale and oddly relaxed lineaments. Without any consent, a smile crept up on your lips, lips that craved his touch so feverishly you were barely able to restrain them from connecting with his.

You kept on stroking him, every caress an unconscious step towards oblivion. You felt your resolve wavering, his hands tightly clasping your body under the sheets, giving you everything you needed and destroying your every chance of resisting.

The faint light of the moon filtered through the window, irradiating his hair and creating an halo around him, making it impossible to discern him from an angel.

So closely related to the gods and yet he was unaware of just how divine he was. Or so you thought, was he really so oblivious? It couldn't be.

You freed yourself from his clutch, standing up from the safe haven you and him had created and stepping in the outside world that seemed so cold in comparison to his embrace.

You dressed silently, not even daring to breathe in order not to disturb his peaceful slumber. He looked like a child, the purest of expressions imprinted on his face, one that made you forget he actually made a living in murder.

You gathered your belongings forcing yourself to keep your eyes off of him because if they did land on him you wouldn't have been able to leave, you knew that.

"What are you doing?"

The most delicate whisper reached your ears, begging you to surrender to him, to give up everything in exchange of his presence.

"Leaving."

Facing him would have been too difficult, too easy giving in.

The too familiar feeling of the cold metal irked your skin but the hand holding the dagger was warm, its tenderness making you forget about the blood daring to spill any moment now.

"No, you're not."

You wished to end it, you wished him to end it, to give you peace, to give you solace. The bitter edge of the blade felt like rubber as his lips, his angelic lips caressed your neck with such worship you couldn't believe a god in flesh would ever stoop so low.

The attraction towards the blade, towards the easy way, was strong, magnetic, but his other hand prevented you from reaching your sole consolation, the anchor preventing you from setting sail, pinning you flush against his chest.

He turned you around with such delicacy he could have fooled you into believing you were made of glass, his hands shifting to accomodate your new position but the dagger never leaving your neck.

A trembling hand, your trembling hand raised a twin knife to his abdomen: doubts that such a common weapon could destroy such an ethereal being clouding your hazy mind.

His eyes, now fully invested by the moonlight, shifted from your cutting edge to your eyes, betraying your own actions by revealing your own heart.

"I'm leaving."

The words left your mouth almost involuntarily but they seemed to have an effect on you, your hand gaining a certain stability and poking oh so lightly his stomach.

"No, you're not."

He lowered the only thing that gave him the upper hand, thus surrendering completely to you; an angel surrendering to a mere mortal, it didn't look right.

"Please."

Your voice was no higher than a rattle, your plead useless after his total submission; his fate was in your hands. It was almost pathetic to see the power he still had over you when you were the one in control.

He ignored the tip threatening to cut through his skin and taint the immaculate complexion of his body and stepped closer. As if intimidated by his approaching presence, your hand pulled back slowly, letting him corrupt you in a way only he could make seem enjoyable. His touch feeling like a blessing on your sinful skin, one you couldn't resist, one you didn't want to resist.

Your hand dropped the knife as his fingers intertwined with yours in pure ecstasy, the sound of metal hitting the marble floor the melody your heart strived to hear, the sound of sweet resignation.

His lips meeting yours in the perfect combination of heaven and hell, your tears staining his porcelain front in holy temptation.

Death never tasted so sweet. Blood started to wet your bodies as your lips reluctantly separated.

"It was you or me, Draco."

His eyes caught sight of the red quickly expanding on your lower abdomen and noticed for the first time a smaller blade in your other hand, now covered in your blood.

"I'm glad it was me."

Your words were low as your eyes took one last look at the cause of your problems and the reason of the smile now adorning your lips. The tears threatening to pour from his eyes finally gave in and rushed freely over his cheeks, finding their resting place on your body, held tightly in the arms of the only man you couldn't love, your mission, your death.

Taglist <3

@turn-to-page-394-please @gwlvr @dracosaccount @astoria-malfcy @dracomalfoys-wh0re @eunoniaa @cherie-draco @oeuryale @wh0re4blaise @90smalfoy @sanctimoniousslytherpuff @maybesandohnos @dracoswhore007 @macheregrace @paulina1998 @bungunz @malfoysbiitch @dreamy-clousds @malfoyxxdraco23 @saayanaaa @xlauren-malfoyx @riddleswh0r3crux @elevatorsdoor @dracoscene @beforeoursunsets @bby-gxrnet @desiredmalfoy @marrymetheonott @o-rion-sta-r @justreadingficsdontmindme @mollysolo @gyucher @dlmmdl @chaoticgirl04 @badass-yn @peachybaes @im-constantly-fangirling-backup @dreamcxtcherr @aleksanderwh0r3 @miraclesoflove @amourslover @i-love-scott-mccall @just-wordsandthoughts @if-only-i-was-fictional

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[imjusttpeachy]

she's a rae of sunshine (c.h.)

okay so this was a request but i completely read it wrong so i’m gonna write it again but i finished this one anyway so here take it

so sorry to the anon who requested it bc u were so fuckin sweet i’ll have it up asap i promise

playlist

ralph castelli - morning sex

crumb - bones

jorja smith - teenage fantasy

summary: balancing college life and wanting to support your best friends online endeavors was difficult, but reader regrets trying a little harder when she finally meets one of her newer stream-mates

word count: 2, 828

WARNINGS: she/her pronouns used, coarse language, lowkey OOC Corpse, that needs its own warning i’m sorry,

•••

“Look you knew I had to stream before I said you could come over ya fuckin idiot.”

“Yea I knowwwww, I just wanted to spend more time with my super-hot best friend forever.”

Being the best friend of an online personality had its perks— the amazing trips you got to hitch a ride on, the adoring fans that seemed to latch on to you as well, the sponsorships that would always send you something along with the original PR package, and especially the way she was able to choose their own work hours.

Well... mostly.

As much as you adored spending time together during the day, whether it be shopping or going out for brunch, those late nights that always seemed to hold the most memories you held so dear were few and far between. Of course, you couldn’t blame her; responsibilities were responsibilities, and fuck if you’d let your selfish wants override the way she chooses to get her work done. You really couldn’t be one to judge either-- having to call off dates because you’d underestimated the time you needed to complete a school paper, or when a last-minute lab was called in and you’d have to leave her sitting alone in those cafes with your half-finished mocha and a promise to Venmo her the money to cover it later. What left you feeling the most guilty, though, was the fact that you weren’t able to watch her content as much as you’d like to. Sure, you’d catch a few minutes of a stream here and there but any time you spent apart was usually spent with your head buried in a book, mind bleary with countless espresso shots trying to keep your tired eyes focused on the seemingly unending work in front of you.

But, a distraction every now and then couldn’t hurt. Right?

Having had enough of your current assignment, any coherent thought was long gone, you’d decided to pay your favourite person a little visit. You knew she’d probably be busy as she hadn’t replied to your previous text for a few hours, but knowing her presence alone and any passing comments would lift the heaviness that had found its home in your head and chest, you shot her a message to let her know that her office couch would be occupied by you for the next few hours. Normally, you’d just show up so you knew she wouldn’t have a problem with it; so when that fateful message popped up on your phone giving you the go-ahead you completely ignored the warning of her work schedule and drove right over.

So now here you were, sprawled haphazardly on her couch clad in sweats and a sports bra scrolling through your phone as you watched her finish her final touches so she could start her stream.

“You’re gonna be in the background of my face cam if you wanna sit there y’know.” Groaning in response to her warning not wanting to move from the comfy spot you just found, you looked over at her with the best puppy eyes you could muster. She chuckled softly, raising her hands in surrender as she turned back to her setup. “Hey I really don’t care, just warning ya bug. The thirst comments and screenshots are outta my hands.”

Scoffing under your breath at her comment, you turned your head back to your phone as a Twitter notification popped up at the top of your screen.

Corpse Husband: streaming among us in a few mins, join in on youtube

Heartbeat picking up slightly, you scrambled for the purse you’d thrown at the base of the couch for your headphones. Ever since you’d found this handsome-voiced stranger’s channel on your late night horror binges, you had fallen completely in love. While you weren’t typically the type to watch video game commentary outside of Rae, his voice got you completely hooked and you couldn’t get enough of it. Yeah, maybe you were a bit of a simp, but that sweet and genuine personality that hid behind that gravelly tone had you melting completely into his clutches. You tried to convince yourself to get over it, you didn’t even know what he looked like. But, y’know, a little crush wouldn’t hurt anybody right?

“Going live in T-minus 30 seconds babe.” Jumping slightly as Rae’s voice knocked you out of dreamland, you mumbled out a small “got it” as you once again got focused on getting your headphones connected to your phone. You’d never been able to watch one of his lives before, his horror commentary videos usually playing as background noise as you did schoolwork or while you were falling asleep. Practically shaking with excitement, you opened your YouTube app seeing the live at the very top and tapping on it immediately only to be met with that sweet laugh ringing through your headphones like music to your ears. You grinned to yourself, grabbing the throw pillow you had previously tossed to the floor and hugging it to your chest while your eyes remained glued to your phone screen, completely forgetting what was happening around you as you zeroed in on the gravelly tone you’d fallen oh-so in love with.

“Hey (Y/N) wave hi.” You startled slightly as the faint voice of your friend sounded from across the room. Glancing up from your phone, you pulled an earbud from your ear and furrowed your brows at her before slowly processing what she said, lifting a hand in greeting to her watchers. She laughed at your confusing antics, turning slightly in her chair to look over at you. “What the hell are you so smiley about?”

“…Nothing..” You grinned widely as her laugh once again resounded around the room, shaking her head at you before turning back to her screen with a scoff, muttering something under her breath so only her watchers could hear. Smile still plastered across your lips, you settled back down into the comfiness of the couch and popped your earbud back in, zeroing in again on the screen in front of you. Watching as Corpse moved his character around the lobby as he waited for his friends to join, a small giggle escaped from under your breath; trying your best to be mindful of Rae’s stream but not being able to hold back the flustered feeling welling up in your chest, mind giddy with the thought of finally being able to see one of his famous live streams, well, live. It had only been a few seconds later when you heard Rae’s voice once again, only this time, not as muffled as before.

“What’s up motherfuckers.” Brows furrowing in confusion, you lifted your hand to your earbud and pulled it from your ear once again, hearing her voice from across the room but from your other earbud as well. No, there was no fucking way. All your questions were answered, though, as you glanced back down at your phone screen seeing a red character move around the game lobby along with Corpse’s, the gamer tag ‘Valkyrae’ floating just above it. Blinking hard at your screen trying to convince yourself that your eyes were lying to you, you slowly pulled your hand to cover your mouth in shock. How… How could you possibly not know they knew each other? With the way they spoke to each other in sarcastic comments, poking fun at the other it sounded like they were close too. Body finally catching up with your thoughts, you scrambled at your phone, shaky hands moving as quickly as they could to pull up your texts with Rae. Your fingers tapped furiously at the screen, anxious to get back to the live stream to listen in more but also needing to know what the fuck was going on.

TO my rae of sunshine: care to explain what the fuck is going on??! how the fuck do you know corpse husband?????!??!

“Oops sorry guys, guess I forgot to turn off my phone ringer-“ Staring up at the back of her head helplessly, you watched as she picked up her phone seeming to read out the text before bursting into a peal of laughter. Tossing a look at you over her shoulder, you looked back down at your phone bashfully, seeing the three loading dots in your message thread indicating that she was messaging you back.

my rae of sunshine: lol what about it? you gotta crush on him or something?

TO my rae of sunshine: …no

Hitting send you rushed back to the stream, anxious to see what Corpse was saying in response to Rae’s absence, not thinking anything about your brief conversation and thinking you would discuss it after she had logged off for the night. Though, as you heard her phone chime again from across the room followed by another bark of laughter, you knew you weren’t getting off that easy.

“What are you laughing about?” Corpse’s honeyed voice sounded from your earbud, hearing Rae’s giggles from what you presumed to be their discord voice chat. Glancing anxiously between his stream and the reflection of Rae’s face cam in one of her monitors, your heart began to sink as you watched that familiar mischievous grin tugging at the edge of her lips.

“Oh just my friend (Y/n) sent me a funny meme”

“Wait, is she the one in some of your Instagram posts?” You swear your heart stopped beating at that moment, eyes glued to the screen in front of you as you tried helplessly to process the conversation happening right in front of you. He knew who you were? You thought you’d always be lost among the hundreds of thousands of his new adoring fans, left in the anonymity of your Twitter tag in his subtweets, or just another subscriber that fawned over him silently behind a keyboard. Knowing that he’d actually seen your face you could feel your own beginning to heat at that moment; you brought your hands your mouth again, unknowingly curling your body tighter around the pillow in your lap as you tried to hide your face behind it as you become more and more flustered from the words nonchalantly escaping his mouth.

“Yea that’s her, pretty thing isn’t she? She’s my absolute favourite.”

That’s it, you were gonna fucking kill her.

“I mean, yeah... I guess..” The timid words followed by a soft awkward chuckle had your breath hitching in your throat. There was no fucking way this was happening. This had to be a dream, that was the only possible explanation. You were just about to pinch yourself when Rae’s voice startled you from your thoughts.

“She’s actually over right now. She insisted on getting wine drunk later tonight because her professor’s been on her ass lately. I’ll get her to come say hi.” Rae had barely turned around in her chair when she was met with your wide-eyed gaze, panic painted across your features as you shook your head wildly. You were in no state to be talking to your long-time internet crush in such a casual setting. But with the look Rae shot you from her chair as she started to plug another headset into her PC, you knew you had no choice and begrudgingly pulled yourself from the couch almost tripping over your own feet as you shakily walked over to Rae. Shooting her another pleading look, she only shoved the headset in your direction in return as she grinned up at you. Finally biting the bullet, you pulled on the headset and leaned down toward the mic.

“Hi, how’s it going?” Cursing at yourself for how quiet and shaky your words came out, you barely had any time to think it over before a chorus of greetings sounded through the headset. A small giggle escaped your lips as you watched the different Discord icons appear and disappear from the top of the screen. You knew most of these people already which made you even more confused as to how you managed to miss that voice from all the discord chats and voice calls. Well, knowing them was a bit of an overstatement anyway; you knew /of/ them, and they knew /of/ you in the other times you popped up in the background or in passing conversation during Rae’s streams. They did know you well enough, though, to know this was not the way you usually spoke around them.

“No way, that can’t be the (Y/N) I know!” The voice you recognize as Sean echoes through your headset, another chorus of knowing laughter following quickly after. Taking a deep breath you managed to force out a few words that would get them off your case.

“…Shut the fuck up”

“There she is!!” As the group erupted in laughter yet again, all you could focus on was the faint deep chuckle that resounded through your headset. Feeling your face start to heat up, you covered your wide grin with your hand as butterflies burst through your stomach; you could listen to that laugh all day. Before you were able to speak again, though, that heavenly voice piped up and wiped all train of thought from your mind.

“Nice to meet you (Y/N).”

“It’s nice to meet you too Corpse. I gotta be honest ‘n say I’m a pretty big fan of your no-sleep work.” And... there’s the word vomit. Fuck, you could feel your cheeks starting to heat up with the ongoing realization of who you were talking to.

“Aha thank you, I uh really appreciate that. I’m sure you just heard, but I guess you could say I’m a fan of yours also.”

No.

No, there’s no fucking way.

Is he...

Flirting with you?

Before you could even think about what to reply to that with, the rest of the group beat you to it.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, what is happening.”

“CORPSE! You SIMP!”

“Is- Is Corpse really shooting his shot right now?”

You didn’t realize you were frozen in place until you felt Rae’s hand on your elbow, snapping you out of your bewildered trance as you tried to comprehend what was happening yourself. As your thoughts finally caught up to the present, you could feel your cheeks start to burn; pulling your hand up to cover your face you stepped out of the view of the face cam. Rae’s laughter filled the room as she watched your flustered antics, shooting you a sly grin as she started scanning the monitor displaying her live chat.

“Wait, wait, chats telling me (y/n)’s blushing right now?” Sean’s voice echoed through the discord chat, only making you flush further as you tried desperately to find a way out of this.

“Okay, okay, leave her alone.” Corpse’s voice finally piped up amid all of the chaos causing everyone to immediately pipe down. God, you didn’t even want to begin to think of the mess this has already made, you just needed to get out of there before you caused any more damage.

“Yeah, I uh- see- see that the lobby’s full so I’ll just uh- leave you guys to it.” Quietly thanking the stars that Corpse finally got you out of this mess, you went to pull the headset off your ears when that fateful voice piped up again.

“Wait, don’t let these nerds make you leave. You should stay- I mean, only to help Rae y'know? She needs it.”

“I do not!”

“I- I mean yea sure, as long as I’m not intruding,” Cursing yourself again for stuttering before forcing yourself to swallow the knot in your throat, “I mean, she really does need the help.”

“Okay just because you want to flirt some more doesn’t mean you can bully me-“

“Okay, I’m starting the round!” The booming accented voice cut off everyone else in the call as you all stared as the screen began to count down to the game, and before anyone had the chance to say anything else a chorus of laughs resounded, and then the lobby fell into silence.

•••

And it went on like that, the not-so-subtle flirting followed by relentless jabs from the group immediately after. The game was almost forgotten with how much of each lobby was taken up by teasing words and endless laughter, but every audience was just eating it up. You didn’t even want to think about the mess social media was going to be after this stream but right now you were having fun with your friends and that’s all that mattered. The grin was practically plastered on your face as you laughed along with Rae the chat during the gameplay portions and you knew everything from this moment on was gonna be different, but you couldn’t find a single thing within you to care.

Especially when you logged onto Twitter right after the stream and saw that little message right at the top of your requests.

@.corpsehusband: wanna hear some of that no sleep work in person?

•••

beep bop here u go,

[harrywritingsbyme]

please write a whole smut with bestfriend's dad!harry

Such A Tease

Based Off Of This Ask

And This One

A/N: I’m sorry it’s a bit late again! But your wishes are my command. This is the first official installment of my new ‘Sneaking Around’ series. The structure of this is just like ‘A Series Of Firsts’, series of ‘random’ blurbs that are all connected. This one will have a little bit more interconnection though. Anyways, it’s a filthyy introduction to some characters🤪...Enjoy🙃

You were never one to sneak around. Nor were you one to be into older men. At least, that was the case until you met Harry. You knew that you shouldn’t have been lusting a man that was substantially older than you, let alone a man who was the father of your best friend. It’s just that neither you nor Harry could help yourselves. 

You and Christine were both in your second year of college when you two met and became instant friends. It didn’t take long for you two to become really close and rock solid in your friendship. Once midterms rolled around, the two of you two were inseparable. And the fact that the two of you were from the same place, and lived there all the way up until you both left for college (which wasn’t that far away) solidified the friendship even more. The two of you even joked that the universe really wanted you guys to be friends. 

But after meeting Harry though, you were starting to think that the universe had other plans. 

She had invited you join her to have dinner at her dads. After knocking down the lame excuse of not wanting to intrude on their father daughter time, she was able to finally convince you to tag along with her. What was the harm in having dinner at her dads house? That was what ran through your mind as you said yes to her. You were expecting to have a nice dinner with her dad, and give him an introduction to the girl who’s been hanging around his daughter. That’s it and nothing more.

To be completely frank and honest, you were expecting to find a middle aged (or close to it) man, who was about average in looks and built, and nice. The only thing you got right was the middle aged and nice part. The rest was the complete opposite of your expectations. When the front door opened, you could’ve sworn that you were met with a god. He was the literal epitome of god loves some of us more than others. You couldn’t believe that he was dad. And even though he was your best friends father, his name followed up by the categorization of dilf was going down in your book. Let’s just say that from the moment you stepped foot into his home, you were salivating; and it wasn’t because of the food. As the time passed, you were paying attention to every word that left his mouth; and every muscle that he involuntarily flexed as he finished getting dinner ready. You even made sure to say little so that he could talk to you more. To make matters worse, Harry was one of the nicest and kindest human beings on the planet. Which meant that your thoughts ranged from him ravishing you to walking down an aisle with him at the end of it. You were a complete mess. 

While you were kicking yourself for lusting after your best friends dad (dilf), Harry was doing the same. Harry was kicking himself left and right for lusting after a young woman who was not only young enough to be his daughter, but who was in fact the best friend of his daughter, and therefore a woman he could never have. From the moment he opened the front door, Harry was gone. It was like you were the opposite end of the magnet that was pulling him towards you. Ever since he and Christines mother divorced years ago, Harry had dated and slept with a good (and very healthy) amount of women. In all of that time, he’d never felt the same feeling he got from simply looking at you. He’d gotten close to it a couple times, but he’d never experienced the jolts of electricity that were firing throughout his entire body and the swelling of his heart as he looked and talked to you at this capacity before.

These feelings weren’t the only feelings you and Harry had in common though. The both of you were also hoping and praying that Christine didn’t have to go to the bathroom and leave you two alone together. But that’s exactly what happened.

“M’gonna run upstairs to the bathroom real quick and you two can talk some more. Just no embarrassing stories from when I was a kid.” She announces as she excuses herself from the table, making sure to clearly direct the last part to her father, causing you to let out a small laugh that was filled with nervousness. You were not only nervous at the thought of being left alone with her father, you were nervous at the thought of being alone with the hottest and nicest man in the world; who just so happened to be your best friends dad. After Harry “surrenders” to her request, she leaves you both in the dining room and heads upstairs.

“I’ve seen the way you’ve been looking at me.” You whisper to him from across the table once you two are completely alone.

“And I’ve seen the way you’ve been looking at me.” Harry counters simply, dropping his fork and lifting his head to put the entirety of his attention onto you.

“Well you should stop.” You whisper back, looking up from your plate to find Harry’s piercing green eyes staring right back at you.

“And you should do the same.” Harry replies, as slight smirk rising up onto his face in the process; queuing the floodgates between your legs to burst wide open. What makes the gates fall off their hinges is when you feel his sock clad foot rub up against your ankle. Since Harry was a bit older than you, he could easily read into all of your reactions and body language, allowing him to know exactly what buttons to press and how to press them. “Do you mind helping me clear the table Y/n?” He asks abruptly, flipping the topic of conversation from your attraction to each other to the dishes so that you could cool off a bit. He could see how flustered you were by him in that moment so he wanted to give you a little break. 

“I don’t mind Mr. Styles.” You promptly whisper back to him. You were so grateful that the previous conversation was over. He then gives you a little nod and the both of you rise up from the table to collect the nearly empty plates and dishes before bringing them into the kitchen. The two of you then stack them on the counter by the sink before turning to go back into the dining room to collect the rest. Before you could take a good five steps, you’re being pulled back, turned around, and pinned against the kitchen counter. Harry has a hand on your waist and the other is softly nudging your chin up so that you could look at him. And before you know it, after looking into your eyes for confirmation, Harry is lowering his mouth down onto yours. This is what you both had been wanting all night long. You knew that from the outside, his lips were a pretty shade of pink (which is the same shade of pink that may or not paint the head of his cock; you were dying to find out) and they were pillow soft. That was the one of the few things you got right all night long. When his lips met yours, they were the softest and most inviting lips you’d ever felt in your entire life. And the way he was pressed up against you as he kissed you was the best. He was pressed tightly pressed against you and your hands were wound in his hair as your lips moved against each others. The thoughts of how wrong this was were blown out of your minds as soon as your lips touched. As you two continued to kiss, you and Harry began to subtly (not so subtly in actuality) rut against each other. Unfortunately, this doesn’t last long. Your kiss, movements, moans and touches were brought to an abrupt and quick halt when the both of you hear the footsteps leading down the stairs. The both of you quickly move into less compromising positions and focus in on gathering and washing the dishes. 

Once the dinner is finally over and it’s time for you and Christine to head back home, Harry gives her a big hug and kiss to the cheek and you a more friendly hug to (not be too obvious) and the two of you are on your way. As you two are heading back home, you reach into your coat pockets in search of your phone. As you’re feeling around, you stumble across a small piece of paper. When you pull it out, you try your best to look at it without turning on the light. The only things you can see are an H, a couple numbers, and a semicolon next to a single parenthesis to form a winking face. You were a little bit on the sad side (inside of course; Christine couldn’t find out about anything) because you weren’t leaving with Harry’s number. You already knew that you were going to break into Christines phone to get it, but you were hoping to get it from Harry himself. So knowing that he went out of his way to make sure you had it was really nice.

 And from that night on, the rest was history. 

You were constantly covering up bruises on your thighs and neck, and taking aspirin to numb the throbbing and sore feeling between your legs from the way Harry relentlessly (and deliciously) pounded his cock into you. You weren’t trying to hide your sex life from Christine. You wanted to share, and tell her about the amazing (if there was even a word to describe it) sex you were having but you couldn’t. And for reasons that were and are beyond understandable. The last thing you were going to tell your best friend is that you were getting dicked down by her father. Or that you were in love with him. That was a completely different story though. 

At first, the thought of getting caught terrified you. And only you. Harry was a little scared since his daughter was involved in the grand scheme of things, but his fear was nothing in comparison to yours. In fact, he instigated every situation that heightened the possibility of you two getting caught. One time, he tasked Christine with running to the grocery store to pick something he forgot. It took him less than 30 seconds after you two were completely alone for him to drop what he was doing and pull your pants down. It also took him less than 30 seconds to pull both of you guys’ pants up when he heard her car pulling up into the driveway. As the time went on though, you began to become more comfortable and willing to take risks here and there. You and Harry would always try to sneak some time in whenever you were visiting with Christine. And whenever you and Harry both had some alone or downtime, you’d drive to Harry’s on your own so that you two could spend some time together. Now even though the sex was beyond amazing, you guys’ relationship as a whole grew. The two of you were pretty much in a full fledged relationship (except for the disclosure part of course) and you both were very happy.

Fast forward about six months and everything was beyond perfect. You and Harry’s relationship was great and you two were in your own secret bubble of love and sex. And your best friend/ Harry’s daughter was completely oblivious to it all. Everything was perfect. You and Christine had just finished your sophomore year of college and the two of you were now spending time with your families. You’d been staying with your family for a little and she was doing the same with Harry. After about a week of not seeing each other  (you not seeing Christine…and you not seeing Harry) your felt that it was time for some quality time. And believe it or not, Harry and Christine were on the same page. You’d received two text messages, one from Harry and the other from Christine, begging you to come over. Hers had more of a ‘I miss my best friend vibe’ and Harry’s had more of a ‘I miss your pussy and cuddles’ vibe. So you figured that it was time to pay them both a little visit. Christine also mentioned that you should stay over for the weekend. So packed a little bag and you made sure to pack everything you’d need. Some tight and short clothes, no panties (well maybe just one pair since Harry liked ripping them off of you), two pairs of pajamas, and some toiletries. Once you were dressed and packed for the weekend, you hop into your car and you’re on your way to Harry’s home.

Once you arrive, you knock on the door and you’re immediately engulfed in an almost bone crushing hug from your best friend. After a good minuet, you’re finally released from her arms and able to breathe again. She pulls you into the house and as she does, you see Harry rounding the corner into the living room. As soon as you see him, you’re a mess all over again.

“Hey Mr. Styles.” You smile “innocently” to him, giving him a small wave to help your little act out a bit. 

“You know you can call me Harry right?” Harry replies with a smirk as he makes his way over to the couch. As he says this, all the times you were screaming his name (and daddy) as he pounded into you. It was so wrong, but it felt so good. He couldn’t wait until you two were able to get some alone time. 

“Me and my dad were just about to watch a movie and you’re gonna watch it with us.” She interjects, dragging you over to the free couch. 

“Is it the notebook again? Because if it is, then we may need to have an intervention.” You joke, dropping your bag onto the floor and plopping yourself down onto the couch. 

“Don’t blame me! He’s the one who got me hooked on it!” Christine replies, pointing her finger in Harry’s direction. 

“I would’ve never thought that you were into these types of movies.” You ponder, turning your head towards Harry as you kick your shoes off. That was a big fat lie. You knew that Harry was the sappiest man in the world. Whenever you guys weren’t running the risk of getting caught, after sex, the two of you would cuddle and watch a romcom or romance/drama movie. 

“What can I say? I like a good romance.” Harry shrugs, sending you a soft smile. He too was thinking back the romcoms and cuddles you two shared.

“Well lets get it started!” Christine interjects excitedly, pulling both you and Harry from your little moment, and grabbing the remote from the table. You pull the blanket from the back of the couch and throw it over the two of you while she starts the movie.

After about an hour, you were a little restless. You loved spending time with your best friend and you wanted to continue watching the movie with her, but you needed a little break. And the idea you had for this little break may or may not have included Harry. 

“I’m gonna take a little trip to the ladies room.” You whisper to Christine as you pull the blanket off of you. When you stand up from the couch, Harry’s eyes leave the tv screen as you walk away. Instead of going straight upstairs, you stand behind the couch you were just sitting on with Christine and you begin “phase one” of your little break.

Instead of just going upstairs and mouthing to him to come with you, you decide to tease him a bit. Get him worked up so that he’d be running to you. While his attention is still on you, you decide to just go for it and lift up your shirt, exposing your bare breasts to him. In an instant, Harry’s eyes widen and his cock stirs in his pants. He couldn’t believe what you were doing. He thought he was the one who was doing the absolute most to live on the edge, but what you were doing right now tied you both for the top spot of the wilder one in the relationship. He constantly makes sure that Christine’s eyes are clued to the tv screen and he’s not being too obvious when it came to being distracted while he took in your teasing. He watched as you squeezed your breasts and tweaked your nipples. You decided to do this for a minuet or two before lifting your skirt a little to give him a peek and ultimately tiptoeing upstairs. This left Harry’s cock completely hard, and his mind completely scrambled as he tried to figure out a plausible reason to step away. After about five minuets, he comes up with a good enough reason to step away and meet you. 

“Have t’make a phone call for work. I’ll be right upstairs.” He announces to Christine as he stands from his seat. 

“Alright. But can you tell Y/n to hurry up, she’s gonna miss the best parts.” She asks, diverting his attention 

“Maybe she’s handling something.” Harry replies, alluding to the possibility of you getting your period. All she does is shrug in response to him, prompting Harry to dash upstairs. As soon as he reaches the top of the stairs, he makes a b-line to the bathroom. Where you were waiting with your panties around your ankles. When he pushes the door open, he’s met with you standing at the counter looking into the mirror. Without saying a single word to you, Harry steps into the bathroom. He closes and locks the door before standing right behind you.

“What’s wrong daddy? Did I make you hard?” You ask sweetly, diverting your attention from your reflection to him.

“Did I say that you could speak?” Harry whispers calmly, lifting his foot to kick your legs apart. “You’re playing a very dangerous game. I’m leaning towards the thought that you want to get caught.” Harry continues, gripping onto your hips and yanking you back so that you fall against the counter and your backside is closer to him.

“Maybe.” You hum, moving your hips a little in his grasp.

“Oh really?” Harry questions, flipping up the bottom of your skirt. “Well now’s the perfect time to see if you want to get caught little girl.” Harry continues on, sending a sharp swat to your ass to make sure that you know who’s in control of this situation. “You could either lay there and moan, whimper, and cry like you do when were all by ourselves, or you could lay there and take it quietly like the good girl you’re supposed to be.” Harry offers, removing a hand from one of your hips shoving down his sweatpants and boxers down all at once. “Your choice.” He whispers finally before lining his cock up with your sopping wet entrance and slowly pushing into you. “Such a tight little hole f’me.” Harry moans as he continues to push into you.

 “So big.” You whisper as you feel his cock stretching and filling you. It felt so good to have him inside you again. Once he’s fully inside and you can feel him in the pit of your stomach. He doesn’t give you much time to adjust to his size before slightly pulling out of you, just to slam back in. He then continuously slams into you over and over again, grunting and moaning lowly behind you. His cock was constantly pushing at the deepest part of you. He was going so hard that you could feel his balls slapping against your clit over and over again.

“This what you wanted babygirl? Wanted me t’fuck you hard while your best friend is downstairs waiting for you?” He pants, continuing to fuck into you. He missed being inside you. He missed the feeling of your spongy, warm, and wet walls around his cock as he gave you everything he had. And he couldn’t wait to spend the entirety of the following week with you. He’d be able to be inside of you 24/7. That’s where he always wanted to be. 

“Oh my-“ you gasp, feeling his cock dig into your sweet spot. His cock was so good. That was all you could say. The way he masterfully maneuvered his cock in and out of you. He knew exactly how to move and slam into you and make you go numb. He was slamming into you so hard that you could guarantee that your thighs would be sore and bruised. But again, it felt so good. As he continues, Harry yanks you up, keeping the same hard and fast pace from slamming his cock into you.

“Look at yourself baby.” He whispers into your ear, pushing his hand up your tight shirt to cup your breasts in his hands. “A cock crazed little girl getting pounded by daddy. A pretty, moaning, and crying little mess.” Harry chuckles cynically, looking into the mirror to see your worn out yet pleasured face and your watery eyes. He can hear your moans as you get closer and closer to your release. He wraps his thumbs and forefingers around your perky nipples before bending you both down onto the counter. “Feel your walls squeezin’ me baby. Wanna cum for daddy?” Harry pants behind you, feeling his release nearing as well.

 “Please daddy.” You whimper. That was all you could say. Your release was coming at full speed and it wasn’t going to slow down. It was hot and tight in the pit of your stomach and you were going to explode.

“Cum with daddy baby.” He groans once more, sending one final, sharp and power filled thrust into you, pinning his cock right against your sweet spot.

 At that moment, the both of you let go. Your bottom lip was completely raw at this point, you were trying so hard to hold back your moans the entire time and it was getting harder and harder. It felt so good to cum around him, and to feel him cumming inside of you. You were more than welcoming to the warm and sticky cum painting your walls. As Harry came, he was on the verge of collapse. He was finally emptying himself into you. He let go of everything he had and it was like your walls were milking him for more from the way you were convulsing around him. You were pulsating as you came. 

Once you two are done, he pulls out of you and does his pants back up, leaving you slumped over on the counter. Before leaving, the plucks open the mirrored medicine cabinet in front of him and pulls out a bottle of aspirin. He sits it on the counter next to your limp body and just stands behind you to admire the sight. “Might wanna take one, don’t want you to be too sore. Wanna pound into you some more later on.” Harry says nonchalantly. He then brings his hand down to your exposed, sore, and a tiny bit swollen pussy to gather some of his sticky cum that was dripping out. “Might wanna put those panties back on too, don’t want any of m’cum leakin’ out. Want you to be nice and full of it once I empty more of it into you later sweetheart.” Harry continues before bringing his cum covered fingertip to his mouth. He then leans down to press a kiss to the exposed skin of your neck and unlocks the bathroom door to walk out, leaving you alone to try your best to put yourself back together. 

Masterlist

[swappetf11]

Ken and Allen

this was a request. started with two different beginnings.

Ken and

Ken and Allen have been best friends since they were kids. No one understood how they were friends as the two at total opposites. Ken is a muscular, hairy, musky, horny, leather wearing cigar smoking dom gay man. Allen is a clean cut, lanky, straight prude, pushover who is easily walked on by others and he hates smoking. 

But the two have always made the friendship work. However Allen's new girlfriend hates Ken and had tried to pull Allen away from him. Ken fed up decides he needs to save his buddy. He goes to his boss at the gay bear bar and gets a special cigar. He blows the smoke into Allen's face the next time the two are hanging out. Allen under the smoke's influence takes the cigar and mindlessly begins smoking it.

The cigar feels Allen's mind with thoughts of the the new man he is meant to be. It gives him a desire to no longer shave or groom his body. He finds himself developing a desire to build muscle. His prudish ways sleep away as he becomes a horny slut. His personality changes gone is the pushover he is now an alpha dom. He no longer has an interest in women, now a gay man.

Ken doesn't see Allen again until his body has fully changed and he is new self. Ken is shocked but likes what he sees. Allen now in love with Ken fucks him and the two become a couple.

In the heart of Barbie Land, where fantasies know no limits, Ken and Allen's friendship took a daring turn as they delved into a world of kink and desire.

Fuelled by the transformative power of the mystical cigar, Allen's newfound confidence and dominant persona sent shockwaves through their vibrant community. With each passing day, Allen's hunger for exploration grew, his once-prudish inhibitions melting away under Ken's guiding hand.

Together, they explored the depths of their desires, pushing boundaries and embracing every twist and turn along the way. From leather-clad encounters in the dark corners of Barbie Land to steamy sessions fueled by the scent of cigar smoke, their passion knew no bounds.

As Allen's body continued to transform, his musky scent and rugged appearance only fueled Ken's desire further. No longer satisfied with mere friendship, their bond deepened into an intense and unyielding love.

In the shadows of Barbie Land's glittering skyline, Ken and Allen embraced their newfound identities as lovers, their passion igniting a fire that burned brighter than ever before.

With each kiss and caress, they defied the norms of their colorful world, proving that true love knows no boundaries, even in the midst of the most tantalizing of kinks. Together, they were unstoppable, their connection forged in the flames of desire and bound by the unbreakable bonds of friendship-turned-love.

In the dimly lit confines of Ken's playroom, the air was thick with anticipation as Ken and Allen surrendered to the irresistible pull of desire. Their bodies intertwined, each touch igniting a fire that blazed hotter with every passing moment.

With primal urgency, Ken's muscular frame pressed against Allen's, their breaths mingling in a heady mix of passion and need. Allen, emboldened by his newfound confidence, met Ken's gaze with a hunger that mirrored his own.

As their lips met in a feverish kiss, years of suppressed longing erupted between them. With every caress, every whispered word, they surrendered to the intoxicating ecstasy of their union.

With skilled hands and eager mouths, they explored every inch of each other's bodies, each sensation sending shockwaves of pleasure coursing through them. Allen's transformation into an alpha dom was complete as he took control, guiding Ken to new heights of ecstasy.

In a crescendo of desire, they finally came together, their bodies moving in perfect harmony as they reached the pinnacle of pleasure. In that moment of pure, unadulterated bliss, Ken and Allen were no longer just friends—they were lovers, bound together by a passion that knew no bounds.

As they lay entwined in each other's arms, spent and sated, they knew that their journey had only just begun. Together, they would explore every facet of their desires, pushing each other to new heights of ecstasy with every touch, every kiss, every whispered promise of love.

[adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy]

drea why don’t you tell us what your idea was for the potential erosrry fic and maybe we can bounce stuff off that for you :D

OMG ok so…..my idea was kinda an enemies to lovers type of thing?? Like maybe she’s an Eternal, too, with telekinetic powers, and she gets assigned as the leader of her group and receives the communication sphere every leader is bestowed. Arishem decides to add Eros to her crew, as well, for the sake of efficiency, but she’s immediately against it because he’s very arrogant and narcissistic and she knows that he’d cause more problems than anything. However, she doesn’t have a say in it, so he gets added in, and as they’re being trained in order to get sent to a planet, there’s this underlying tension between them because Eros is obviously already ahead of them in terms of experience and age, so it puts a strain on her leadership. It makes him a threat to her, because Arishem could choose to have her forfeit her position to him instead, so she despises him and vis versa.

Then one day, when her group’s first mission is growing near, she learns the truth behind Arishem’s system, like every leader does, and despite her conditioning, she refuses to raise an entire planet of people for slaughter. As a result, she tells her friends and hatches an escape plan for her crew (Eros excluded) and when it succeeds, she insists on going her separate way from her group because Arishem will know it was her doing, since she’s the only one who knew the real truth behind his plans, so she isolates herself because if he finds her, at least her family is safe.

Arishem is obviously furious and ends up sending Eros to find her and bring her back to face the punishment for her insubordination, which would be the complete erasure of all her memories. Eros does find her, and she’s left with no choice but to fight to try and save herself. However, when it dawns on her that she’s going to lose, considering he has her pinned to the ground, she uses the sphere in her chest to project a hologram of Arishem’s plan and reveals the truth to Eros. After that, he agrees to help her, so he constructs an elaborate lie about how Y/N had gotten killed in the process of him trying to get her to comply and surrender. He fakes her death by seeking out someone to replicate and disable her sphere so she can’t be tracked, then brings the replica back to Arishem as proof that he’d put her down.

Y/N keeps the original artifact in case they ever need it in the future, and he remains in contact with her and visits often since he knows she’s forcing herself into isolation to prevent putting anyone in danger. Now that they don’t have the weight of being pitted against one another looming over their heads and they’re not blinded by their competitive instincts, they realize how twisted and incorrect their perceptions were of each other, and that they actually enjoy one another’s company more than they expected. The closer they get, one thing leads to another, and they end up sleeping together. Everything is too complicated at the moment to title the connection they’ve formed, but they know they care for one another deeply and that they are the only person the other can can trust, so they adopt an unspecified relationship as they search the universe for a way to take Arishem down for good.

Eros, who has assumed a role as an inside spy into Arishem’s destructive agenda, overhears the Celestial fretting over a specific group of Eternals that defied his orders and stopped an emergence, and he starts poking around to see if this is the opportunity he and Y/N have been waiting for— if this is a chance to put an end to their problems and finally get some peace. He finds out Arishem has abducted half of the rebellious group and is searching for the other half, who apparently left earth on a rouge mission to awaken other Eternals and save other planets. He goes to Y/N and tells her that they should find this group of heroes and team up with them, because their interests seem to align, which provides a solid route towards accomplishing their goal to kill the Celestial.

It’d probably end with Eros walking into the Eternals ship with her sphere in hand as a peace offering, just like the post credit scene.

That’s my general idea so far, idk how I feel about it but it seems alright!! I didn’t wanna make Y/N human because I feel like in most AUs, Harry is the different one and she always just ends up being human, so I wanted to make her a hero, too. I honestly don’t know if or when I’ll get to it but I just wanted to jot the idea down in case inspo ever hits SJDNSJSJS

[wee-wee-witch]

Inadequacy

A/N: sigh… can’t believe this started with smut part and then I wrote start of the story. I have to thank @kinsurou and @aonesteddybear who gave me the idea.

Pairing: Sukuna x reader with a side of cute boyfie Yuuji

Tags: noncon/dubcon, abo universe, breeding, choking, degradation, dumbification, hair pulling, biting

WC: 1.5k

You knew Yuuji since both of you were freshman year in college. He was so sweet the first time you met him, immediately making your young little heart melt.

Yuuji always thought you were way out of his league, mostly because you were omega, the cutest prettiest omega he ever laid his eyes on. He couldn't understand how there was no alpha walking you to and from classes. No one looked over you? Maybe you had a long distance relationship? You never gave away an alpha's scent either. Yuuji could never sniff out anything and he was the type of person that was very prideful in his sharp senses. He had a way sharper nose than most alphas did. This beta was pretty exceptional in everything that he tried, especially if it was competing at sports. That's how he earned a sports scholarship and met you in this exact university.

Could it be that you really didn't date anyone?

Time on campus was terrible if you were alone without Yuuji. Often, an older alpha would corner you somewhere without much traffic. Where students and teachers would rarely pass by. Forcefully scenting themselves on you. Beta with exceptional physical capabilities like Yuuji, whose senses rivaled the strongest of alphas could always find you and get you out of trouble.

It happened a couple more times before you finally confessed. Overjoyed that you choose him. Him! Over every alpha on the campus you really picked Yuuji!

The butterflies in his stomach dispersed soon after, when you started showing interest in claiming. Yuuji could feel your body sending him signals that it's ripe for claiming. Playing the game of chase, Yuuji managed to avoid your advances most of the time. You weren't the only one who was getting tired of his strange behavior though.

"If you don't claim her soon she'll run to another alpha, brat."

One extremely important detail that Yuuji always left out of the conversation was that he was a little bit special.

Yuuji was sharing a body with Sukuna, an alpha who was growing tired of Yuuji's antics.

Sukuna will never tell Yuuji what happened on his own, but they still share a body. His memories start to invade Yuuji’s dreams. Scenes where he can see your sweaty body under Sukuna's grasp. Your innocent face scrunching up in pleasure as Sukuna raked his nails over your scalp, running them through your hair until he reached your neck wrapping his long fingers around it. The soft protests you’d whine out, begging him to explain what's going on, only so Sukuna would slam into you even harder. Causing your voice to break and your whines to morph into full blown out crying.

He took his sweet time, placing you on his lap and telling you every little detail of your innocent little boyfriend's condition. The ambiance of short sniffles accompanying his gravelly voice. Sukuna was simply overjoyed by Yuuji's gentle nature that allowed him to corrupt you.

Thanks to the stupid brat, he was the first one to ruin your body.

It was so sweet of you to deny Sukuna the answer he desperately wanted, swaying the mattress with his thrusts. Pushing your cunt open, wider and wider, the burn of his cock trashing your weaker body.

˝Who treats you better pet?˝

He’d growl against your ear. You tried to hold your own the best you could. Resisting the pleasure shocking though your back as Sukuna’s voice hummed against your ear. With your teeth clenched you’d ignore every deep thrust, every growl, praying that Sukuna will be done soon.

Praying that you won’t disappoint your sweet Yuuji.

So virginal, so gullible. Do you really think Sukuna can’t stop himself from cumming? Snickering at your weak tries at resisting him, Sukuna places his other arm against your sensitive bud.

¨You’ll answer me now brat.˝

Sukuna bites your ear, pulling you back so you’d land in his lap. Screaming in shock from the new angle his dick is coursing at, you try to wiggle yourself out of his grasp, only to make the sensations even worse. His fingers pressing against your nub that’s soaked in slick juices, rubbing it to heighten your pleasure.

His teeth still clamped against your ear don’t stop you from shaking your head in a desperate ¨No!˝ making his tugs more painful with every desperate shake.

He couldn’t ask you to act better than this if he tried, how dumb you act in your stupid little protests, only causing more pain. Maybe you like it after all? Sukuna grins, mouth busy with your ear. Soon you’ll surrender to him.

Your head falls flat on Sukuna’s chest as he pops off his mouth from your abused ear. Your weak glare does nothing to appease him, it only makes his canines peek up more as he grins down at you. Stubborn brats like you were the best for breaking. Now with his both hands free, Sukuna squeezes you against him. Knocking the air out of you. His cock has fully barged into your womb, with his knot close to being completely engulfed by your squelching cunt.

His tip brushes against the wall of your womb, making your eyes roll back. Sukuna knows he had you as he feels your body relaxing in his grip. Your resolve is crumbling. Seeing as you had no more strength to fight him off, Sukuna removed one of his arms to grip your hair, making you look up at him.

˝Who treats you better?˝

This time his tone was way more stern, way more deep. He won’t give you any room to disobey him.

Your body feels weak, legs and hands wobbly. Sukuna is toying with you, not using an ounce of his real strength and it makes you feel so defeated. Only power you have is denying him your acknowledgement. Denying him the truth; that he really does treat you better than Yuuji. Of course he does! Sukuna is an alpha and no matter how much love you hold for Yuuji, how good he is to you, how gentle he is with you. Yuuji is still a beta.

You know that. Sukuna knows that, even Yuuji knows that, but you don’t want to crumble in front of Sukuna.

Pulling at your scalp even harsher as a warning, Sukuna is rushing you to answer.

Sniffling weakly you let out a weak mumble.

˝What was that brat?!˝ He snarls at your face.

˝Suku..na...˝ your lips wobble again, voice a bit louder this time.

˝Good!˝

Your back is thrown on the mattress as Sukuna leans over you, pushing your legs back so that he can slam into you even deeper. It’s finally time to kont you fully.

Taking a deep breath Sukuna roughly drives the rest of his knot into you. As he breathes in, your breath is forced out. A high pitched shrill diffuses in your small bedroom. Your needs are completely satiated as your cunt envelops his knot fully.

Sukuna senses your immediate change in attitude as a pair of legs draws him closer to your body. Your arms follow suit, wrapping around Sukuna’s neck where you nuzzle your sensitive nose and breathe in his scent to help you calm down from the sudden rush that Sukuna granted to you.

You two stay connected like that for a couple of more minutes, enjoying the pleasurable jolts. Sukuna is still filling you up with his seed, your jolts coaxing more seed out of his cock.

Cooing at the feeling of being full, happy and satiated with a real alpha’s knot you start to giggle into his neck. Sukuna knows that you’re still at your high, he is at it too, giggling together with you.

˝That feels nice.˝ you admit to Sukuna.

˝Oh? Does it?˝ He asks you with that sickeningly sweet voice that he often uses when taunting Yuuji.

You nod, hiding under his chin.

Wrapping an arm around your back, Sukuna places you beside him, trailing his palm gently across your naked body. The only bearable thing while residing in this body was that this beta idiot was lucky enough to score an omega like you.

Speaking of Yuuji, let’s see what kind of answer you’ll give him now, after you’ve experienced what it feels like to be knotted by a real alpha.

˝So… Who do you like more now after everything is done, pet?˝

You look up at him, the weight of things that occurred finally settling in your chest. Mouth that has been spread in a wide grin just a moment ago shrinks into a thin line.

˝He’ll… He’ll understand.˝ you conclude.

Before returning the body to Yuuji Sukuna let out a loud guffaw. Entertained by what this relationship between his vessel and omega has come to. He’s really looking forward to the conversation that soon follows after Yuuji wakes up with you in his arms, disturbed from a memory that was never his.

[drabbles-mc]

Exceptions (1/2)

Juice Ortiz x F!Reader

Part 2

Warnings: language, mentions of smoking/alcohol

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: Been mulling over this little two-part fic for a while. Love me some Juice content haha. This part is all fluff, part 2 is a nice balance of angst and fluff. Hope you enjoy! xo

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You’d worked at the bar for a few months, and everyone was kind to you. But you hadn’t really become overly close with anyone. You knew how easily friendship could be construed into something else and you really were here because it was a good paying gig. You were a friend of a friend to the club so when they needed a bartender and you met the qualifications, they didn’t give it much of a second thought to throw you back there. You didn’t start trouble, didn’t ask too many questions, and made good strong drinks. They couldn’t have asked for anything more.

At the heart of it, it was nothing more than a customer service gig. Sure, most everyone you served was part of the MC or a friend of the club, but you didn’t treat them any differently because of it. The same as you had done at your previous gigs, you were nice but you didn’t tolerate any disrespect. There were a lot of egos put in check the first few weeks that you were working there and you were surprised that you hadn’t been pulled aside and spoken to about it.

Once you all sort of fell into a flow, the guys quickly realized that you were content to chit-chat but you were keeping them at arm’s length for your sake and theirs. There was something to be said about being ignorant to the goings on of SAMCRO. It wasn’t lying under oath if you really didn’t have a solid clue as to what any of them were doing. They respected that, even if they didn’t always like the way you would wave them off if they were talking about something within earshot of you.

Most of the guys had given up on trying to get cozy with you once you shot them down with a considerable amount of force. Opie checked in on you on a somewhat consistent basis—he felt a little obligated to keep an eye on you since Lyla was the one who had sent you in the direction of the club in the first place. He was always kind to you but he knew and respected that you had pretty firm boundaries with all of them, including himself. As long as you let him know that you were content, safe, and that no one was bothering you at the time, he would leave you be and you really loved that about him.

The only other person who would try to get and keep your attention was Juice. And that was how you found yourself trying and failing to bite back the laughter that you could feel building up inside your chest. You were leaning onto the bar, directly across from Juice who was plopped on a stool in front of you. He was talking about the antics that went down on the shop earlier in the day, and the way that he spoke and gestured, along with the light in his eyes, made it impossible not to laugh and get roped into every word that he said.

There was a boyish charm and innocence to him that you had to admire. He had tried to flirt with you at first and you shot him down instantly, not looking to start playing any games with anyone. He backed off for a little while, giving you your space. But after a couple weeks he wound up right back at the bar, coaxing conversations out of you whenever there was a lull in drink orders. He kept it platonic, carefully choosing his words so you couldn’t shoo him away for being flirtatious or inappropriate. For that reason alone, you rewarded him with some of your time. Plus, there were worse people to look at on the other side of the bar throughout the night.

The later it started to get, the more you tried to encourage everyone to either go home or back to their dorms. Or really just anywhere besides the bar. You hated trying to clean up around people passed out drunk everywhere. It only ever got out of control on the nights of big parties, but you didn’t see any harm in making sure that it stayed that way.

The main expanse of the bar was almost completely empty. There were a few girls getting ready to leave, and Juice was still sitting across the bar as you wiped it down and started stacking glasses in the dishwasher.

You chuckled and shook your head, “Don’t you have somewhere you gotta be, Juice?”

He shook his head, “No, not really.”

You looked down at your watch, “It’s late. Better get to bed if you’re going to wake up and actually make it to work tomorrow.”

“That sick of me, Y/N?”

You had to let out a quiet laugh when you saw his puppy-dog eyes, “You know that’s not true. I would definitely tell you if I was sick of you. Pretty sure I have before,” you laughed.

It got a chuckle out of him, “That’s true. Alright. I’m going to bed then. See you tomorrow?”

You nodded, “See you tomorrow.”

He wandered back towards his dorm and you let out a long sigh once he was out of sight. You looked around at the now-empty clubhouse and a wave of relief washed over you. You set about straightening up and throwing things away. This was easily the longest part of your shift—serving drinks was easy.

Once everything was cleared away, you grabbed yourself a bottle of beer from behind the bar and hoisted yourself up so that you were sitting on top of it, legs swinging idly between the barstools. Never in a million years did you think that you would’ve ended up in this position. Then again, not much of your life was predictable or even felt like it was in your control.

You nursed your beer and soaked up the silence of the clubhouse for a while, finally deciding that it was time for you to leave and go home too. You locked the door behind you as you left, not that it really mattered all that much. You walked out to your car and drove home in silence, just glad to be free of the noise and chaos.

By the time the next afternoon rolled around, you were ready to do it all over again. You shimmied into your jeans and tank top, opting for a pair of comfortable boots. You saw how some of the girls could manage the whole night in heels and you admired their dedication, but that just wasn’t something you were capable of or that committed to. You needed to be able to move a lot, and move quickly. And also kick the shit out of someone if it came down to it.

You were setting up the bar when you heard the door open. You looked over, a smile passing over your lips for a moment when you saw it was Juice.

“This is early even for you, Juan Carlos,” you laughed.

He laughed as he set a coffee down on the surface of the bar, “Just wanted to stop and give you this.”

You raised your eyebrows, “Oh really?”

He held his hands up in surrender, his own coffee cup dangling lightly from his hand, “Just a friendly gesture. I know you were here late last night.”

You nodded slowly as you grabbed the cup and took a sip. You smiled over at him, “I’ll allow it only because this is perfect.”

He chuckled, “Good,” he waved and headed towards the door, “See you later, Y/N.”

You watched as he walked out of the clubhouse. You lightly drummed your fingers on the countertop as your mind raced. You spun the cup and laughed when you saw that he had written his phone number on it.

“In case you’re ever in need of a friendly conversation. Or bail.”

You chuckled and against your better judgment, added his number to your contacts. You didn’t know when you were actually going to reach out to him, but he was a good person to be able to reach, especially if you really did land yourself in some kind of trouble. A warm feeling spread through your chest and you tried to ignore it as you went back to what you were originally doing when he walked in.

You were lucky enough to not have to work the entire length of your usual shift. You weren’t supposed to be the only bartender even though it usually ended up feeling that way. They had the prospect filling in for the second half of the night and you liked him, but not enough to tell him that he didn’t have to work the bar. Giving him a loving pat on the back, you grabbed yourself a beer and headed out of the clubhouse.

It never ceased to amaze you how chilly it got at night despite the fact that the afternoons would be sweltering sometimes. Every night you told yourself to bring a sweatshirt and you remembered about fifty percent of the time. It wasn’t one of those nights, though. You felt goosebumps break out over your arms as you plopped onto the picnic table outside the clubhouse. You looked up at the sky as you sipped on your beer, letting your mind empty out a bit before you headed home.

You heard heavy footsteps behind you and you glanced over your shoulder. You smiled when you saw that it was Juice. He walked over and stood next to the table, looking at you with a hopeful look in his eyes.

“Mind if I sit and grab a smoke?”

You eyed the joint that he was holding and you smiled, “Only if you share.”

“Fine by me,” he chuckled as he plopped down next to you, feet resting on the bench beside yours.

He flicked his lighter and lit the joint in his hand, taking a long drag off of it before handing it over to you. You smiled as you gently took it between your fingers. It had been ages since you last smoked, but you knew that Juice had good connections. Besides, if there was anyone in the club that you would trust with something like that it was Juice—he was too sweet to do something shady, especially to you.

You took a drag and fought the urge to cough as you handed it back to him. You slowly exhaled and laughed, “Sorry about the lipstick.”

He chuckled, “I’ve been told that this is a good shade for me, anyway,” he smiled as he put it back to his lips again.

The two of you sat there in semi-silence, passing the joint back and forth. He was usually so full of energy and had so much to say, you were surprised at how calm and quiet he was.  The outsides of your legs rested against each other and you glanced over at him, but he was so busy staring up at the stars that he didn’t even notice. You let it go.

Opie and Lyla walked out of the clubhouse, his arm draped around her shoulders. He looked at you, eyebrows raised, “All good?”

You nodded, “All good. Thanks, Ope,” you smiled at Lyla, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She nodded and said goodbye as the two of them crossed the lot to Opie’s bike and left. With a deep sigh you felt your body shiver. Juice felt you tremble against him and he looked over at you.

“I can run and grab you a hoodie if you want. I got a bunch in my dorm.”

You shook your head as you stood up, “No, that’s alright. I should get going, anyway.”

“Already?”

You laughed, “Hey, I’m off the clock. I don’t gotta stay here until everyone leaves this time,” you finished off your drink and set the bottle of the table next to him.

“Want a lift home?” there was a smile on his face.

You shook your head with a chuckle, “Not tonight. Thank you, though.”

“Tomorrow night?” he raised his eyebrows.

You smiled and placed a quick, soft kiss on his temple, “Goodnight, Juice.”

You could feel him watching you as you crossed the lot to your car, and you shook your head to yourself as you tried to contain your laughter. There was something about him that made you let it go—if it had been any of the other guys you would’ve shot a snarky comment their way for their lingering eyes. But with Juice it was just different.

Once you got home, you let out a breath you hadn’t realized that you’d been holding. You dropped your purse to the floor next to your discarded shoes and made your way towards the bathroom to shower and rinse off the night. You closed your eyes as the soap suds slid down your body and made their way towards the shower drain. There wasn’t a single thought that crossed your mind that really stuck—each one of them disappeared as quickly as they showed up, and that was more than fine by you.

After your shower, you pulled on your most comfortable set of pajamas and huddled down in bed with the latest book that you had been making your way through. With a deep sigh you let yourself really settle against your pillows and under your blanket. You opened the book and dove in. However, every few pages or so, you found your eyes straying over to your phone.

Finally, after arguing with yourself about it for longer than you should have, you grabbed your phone and sent a text to Juice, “Don’t need bail. Just wanted to say thank you for tonight.”

You assumed that he knew it was you, because the response was immediate, “Don’t have to thank me for anything,” a few moments later a second text came through, “I should be the one thanking you for not kicking me off the table”

You laughed and shook your head as you typed out your response, “Well in that case…you’re welcome”

Shortly after sending the message, you passed out. Your hand was loosely cupping your phone as you drifted off to sleep, as if you were waiting for something more to happen.

[nurseofren]

Keeping Your Promise - Chapter 30 (NSFW)

Read on AO3 | Read on Wattpad

Read chapter twenty-nine (NSFW-lite)

Title: Not a Fascination

Words: 14.1k (Um... don't look at me lmfao)

Summary: The other side of tragedy.

Warnings: vaginal fisting, needles, inappropriate use of medical equipment

ST Rambles: Here to drop this absolute MONSTROSITY of a 14.1k word chapter. But boy howdy was this thing a long time coming. Thigh riding, fisting, vein kink -- OH MY. To be honest, this thing was not supposed to be what it is, but I went with it and like how it turned out and how it will help the story along.

I take my NCLEX on July 7th and start my orientation on the 19th. Life is crazy y'all. Enjoy this.

[MASTERLIST] || BANNER // @elmidol

Bloodied faces, jagged flesh, the smell of iron scorching your nose, screams scraping against your ears and never ending, never faltering no matter how much you did.

All these things, these horrid thoughts, crowded your mind, and all you could do was keep running, keep tumbling through the unfamiliar halls of this place and hope you could get to him in time. Get to Kylo in time.

Because how many chances could the galaxy or the stars or the gods offer you? It felt like you’d used those chances up, maxed them out between Robbie and Snoke and Starkiller.

But you could not think like that, or at least you didn’t want to. It was useless, none of those gut-wrenching thoughts could help you or Kylo, and all of them just made you want to crumple to the floor and give up.

If he wasn’t okay, if he was dying…

The thought made you stumble forward, your fingers clamping onto a doorframe as you made another tight turn into the next hallway that looked like all the previous. You shot past couplets of workers, their shocked gasps dwindling behind as you raced away from them to wherever your watch was leading you.

CB-7070 raced just behind you, and maybe it appeared as if you were being chased by security, but you couldn’t care less, not as you felt the phantom flood of crimson slither along your leg, its ghost a cold, wicked reminder of how bad things could be again. The stormtrooper didn’t stop you, though, and you wondered briefly if she had been alerted to Kylo’s emergency as well. But it was a fleeting thought, and all you could think of was getting to him and being with him and not letting him go ever again.

Your heart burned in your chest and your legs flew faster than you ever knew they could, fast like your sprint toward the Command Shuttle when the planet was exploding alongside your life. This was all too familiar, too chaotic. You couldn’t do this again.

You wouldn’t.

The next turn you hurdled past, you promised yourself that you would do everything you could to ensure Kylo would never be helpless like he had been ever again. Trial be damned, license be damned, Snoke be damned! None of it mattered. Nothing mattered. Nothing but him, nothing mattered except him. It was always him.

It would always be him.

The tiny red blip of your radar display became centered, and you looked up just before you met a badge-protected door face first. Before you could process the thought completely, your hand flung to the badge hanging from your collar and slammed it into the scanner on the wall. The door hissed open and you catapulted into whatever room you’d been led to.

And then you connected with a hard wall of heat and muscle. Kylo.

Breath heaved from your lungs as your hands skimmed along his front, assessing for damage and wounds, searching for the sinister slip of blood beneath the tips of your fingers. You were only vaguely aware of the questions fumbling from your trembling lips, your ears ringing and head pounding as your hands took one of his clothed arms and smoothed along its strong length, wandering until they found nothing of concern and shifting to the opposite.

After finding his front and upper half free from injury, you went to spin to his back, but a hand caught your hip – a warm, firm hand that broke through the cloud of panic that’d swallowed you – and kept you from moving. You urged away from it, but it remained and kept you steady, and when you tried a third time, it grasped a little tighter, and you found your way back to the present.

Breath wheezed out of you and you looked up. Kylo was peering down at you, unmasked. It was there again, that odd, unreadable expression from the Command Shuttle that day, the one that looked like awe, but now it was laced with something more. The way he looked at you… Kylo seemed stunned, but there was this strength to it, like he hadn’t been expecting your worry, but that he liked it.

“Kylo,” you whimpered, your fingers reaching up to skim his face, the pad of your left ring finger etching along the black-and-red scar that struck through his face.

His Jaw tightened and your eyes fled to his, the weight of his molten amber gaze making you shiver. Something wet and hot slipped over your top lip, and only then did you realize you’d begun to cry.

“Kylo,” you mouthed, and then you rested your forehead against the broad width of his chest, your hands slipping from his face and reaching around his waist so you could pull him to you.

He seemed to relax slightly with you tight against him, but he was still rigid.

“Leave us,” Kylo stated simply, and your blood ran cold while your face heated.

In your panicked state, you forgot that CB-7070 had followed after you. She’d kept up with you through the halls and was now standing in the same room where you’d just caressed the Commander of the First Order’s face and hugged him. The room where you were still hugging him.

“Commander Ren, I am to remain with your provider during her time away from the Consulate,” CB-7070 said, an uneasiness clear even in her altered voice. “To leave her would go against my assignment.”

“Your assignment is with the General, is it not?” Kylo demanded, the hand on your hip flexing but never releasing.

There was a tense pause, and you heard the stormtrooper at your back shuffle uncomfortably, undoubtedly under the intense glare your master was shooting her right now.

“She is my provider, after all. Report to the General that you left her with me.” His heart was steady and unwavering in his chest, and you knew you should pull away from him, but you were too caught up in the reassurance of his strong form to do so.

Another moment of silence passed, you felt the steady gawk of CB-7070’s face centered on you, and you went to finally let go of Kylo. But he had other plans. Instead of letting you go, Kylo took the hand that wasn’t clasped to your hip and let it trail up your spine, dragging it along your back until it cupped the base of your skull and shifted your head so your cheek lay flat against his chest.

“Tell your general he can come to me if he has an issue with my order. I’ll be interested to hear his… perspective on the matter, if he feels so compelled.”

The lethal confidence that Kylo spoke with seeped into your bones. And though you couldn’t see his face, you heard the slight snarl he’d ended his words with.

A second passed, you took a breath, and the heat of Kylo’s gloved hand atop your nape sent a scalding shiver down your spine. Movement sounded at your back, and you could almost feel CB-7070’s surrender in the way the remaining rigidity left Kylo altogether.

The stormtrooper cleared her throat. “I will report as you’ve advised, Commander Ren.” Out of the corner of your eye, CB-7070 shifted toward you. “Officer,” she said in resignation, wariness tingeing her tone.

You couldn’t look at her. The only thing meeting her mask-hidden eyes would do is solidify that you had an odd, extremely inappropriate relationship with Kylo Ren. Between the trial, the shitty shift, and whatever Kylo called you here for, the last thing you needed was Hux up your ass. Or, further up your ass than he already was.

So you only nodded against Kylo’s chest, attempting to speak but knowing your words would be rasped by how thick your throat had become.

Boots sounded on the tile floor, then a rush of hydraulics, and finally the room settled around you. It was quiet, the only sound that of Kylo’s rhythmic, unfaltering heart and your own pulse finally slowing in your ears. He still held you to him – hand on hip and head – and for however long he did, whether it was minutes or hours, you felt the chaos of Starkiller’s downfall flood away. Kylo held you and you held onto him, and the planet at your feet kept still and steady, so you allowed a second a peace, clinging to every rise and fall of the chest that tided beneath your cheek.

Had you ever held Kylo Ren before? The thought struck through you, and you tightened your hold just a measure more, and you felt your body sigh against his.

Kylo had held you before, held tight your sob-wracked body on that all-too-recent day that seemed to have changed so much. Seemed to have changed everything, really.

“I thought something happened,” you murmured. “I thought you were hurt again like… like last time. And that I’d find you and you wouldn’t…” You swallowed, the grim thought choking you. “And you wouldn’t wake up this time.”

The hand on your hip smoothed over to the small of your back, the breath of his heavy sigh cooling the crown of your head. “I’m not that easy to kill,” Kylo said, blunt yet gentle.

You ran your hands up his back, surreptitiously searching for damage. “There’s nothing wrong with you,” you mumbled.

A gust of amusement left him, and he teasingly said, “I think a lot of people would disagree with that statement.”

He was… joking? “Nothing physically wrong, then. So why are you here, Kylo?”

He hummed, and the feel of his vibrating chest against your ear was chilling. The hand that rested on the back of your neck toyed with the stray hair there, and just as soon as your eyes lulled shut did they fling back open.

The Force returned with unyielding, unforgiving strength. It laved and pushed and whirled through your cunt, and you shuddered against Kylo and he held you to him, trapped you against him while you yipped and squealed and bit back wanton moans.

“I can’t just come see you?” Kylo rumbled, and you could hear the smirk he now wore. “It has been such a long, boring day, what with you ordering me against training for the foreseeable future, so I thought I’d pay a visit to my little nurse.” He sighed a low chuckle. “Thought I’d see how memorable your first day has been.”

Your hands bunched in the material of his outer tunic, your jaw slack and brow pinched, but through the thick pleasure you found yourself annoyed and… angry.

You were angry with him.

He came here with the intent to toy with you, just as he’d done during your entire shift. The same toying – albeit, much more vehement now – that caused you to be publicly reprimanded and shamed not even an hour ago. It made you feel so worthless, so unimportant that he hadn’t considered that you wouldn’t want to do this with him right now. Even worse was the fact you thought he was hurt or so much worse when your watch had alerted.

It felt like he didn’t care how these shifts would affect your trial. It felt like he hadn’t given a second thought to summoning you here, like he didn’t consider that you’d lose your mind at the thought of something worse happening to him as the events of Starkiller occurred not even two weeks ago.

“Kylo,” you warned, but it came out on a lusting breath. “Kylo, stop.”

“Is that another one of your orders you seem to be so keen on today? In that case…”

The Force shifted, and while it kept a masterful pattern on your clit, you now felt it move inside you, pushing into you just as his thick, heavy cock would. But the Force grew, it stretched you and you felt it deep, deepinside. A pitiful wheeze jolted from your lungs, and when your knees quivered, Kylo only pressed you harder into his massive, broad body, the Force filling you with relentless strokes.

“Kylo, stop it. Stop it, now,” you panted, your voice rising a pitch when you felt the frays of pleasure tickle along your nerves. You didn’t want to cum, not for him, not right now when he’d made you so livid.

“You should be begging me to let you cum, not for me to stop” he hummed, a note of uncertainty present in his tone. “Why are you fighting me on this?”

“Because I don’t want to do this with you!”

The exclamation ripped through your throat, your nails nearly shredding through his thick tunic, and as you prepared to be drowned in the ecstasy of orgasm, the Force left you. It all stopped, and all you knew in that moment was that you were relieved he listened to you. Relieved he stopped and recognized that this wasn’t an empty plea born from a pleasure high. Recognized you were serious.

As you calmed, still holding tight to him, you felt the absence of his touch, and the room went completely still around you. It didn’t even seem like Kylo was breathing, or he was and it was disconcertingly quiet and insidious.

You took your hands from him and stepped away, seeing you were in a nondescript assessment room, a simple exam table in its center and a set of windows peering out toward the bay. The sun was slowly sinking toward the water now, casting the cabinet-lined walls with rich orange and purple hues. Only now did you realize the lights weren’t on, the panic you’d entered the room with quick to steal your attention from such details.

As you took another step back, wiping your face with the backs of your hands, you turned your focus back to Kylo. You were mad at him. He didn’t get to throw a fit right now. You did.

But before you could start, Kylo spoke, his voice deathly and haunted as he did. “Then who do you want to do this with?”

“What are you talking about, Kylo?”

“You said you didn’t want to do this with me. That implies there is another who you would rather be doing this with.” His face was forged in impenetrable steel, and yours was warped with exasperated confusion.

“Yeah, I don’t want to do this with you. Fuck, no I don’t want to fuck you right now. I don’t want to be fucked by you right now.”

He was entirely off base, and it sent a wave of quiet outrage through you that he couldn’t see why you were so angry with him.

He ground his teeth together, so hard it seemed likely he would crack a molar. The scarred side of his face hitched in a snarl when he whispered, “The physician, right? That would make the most sense. You wanted to fuck him before.”

“Hey!” you barked, stomping a pace toward him, utterly dumbfounded by how he was missing the point. “You don’t get to call me a slut. You know what? You don’t get to be mad right now. You don’t get to imply that I want to fuck anyone other than you just because your fragile ego can’t take that I don’t want to fuck you right now, that I don’t want you to touch me right now because…”

Thoughts were somehow coming too quickly and leaving too soon as you floundered in front of him. When you didn’t speak, when your hands grasped for the words that you couldn’t find, your eyes settled on the rigid flow of his breathing. And then lower to the fists at his sides, flexing and unflexing as the room settled into silence.

“You don’t get to be mad,” you said, and it was a quiet murmur from your lips but the room around you boomed as they left you. “You don’t get to be mad right now because I…” And it took a final moment, one where his eyes lit at the threat of more silence, but you finally understood what you were feeling. “You don’t get to be mad right now because I am more than your fuck toy.”

“Of course you are—,”

“No!” you interrupted, flinging a hand just inches from his chest. “You talk so much about how I need you and how I need to trust you first, but how can I when you won’t respect… me?”

Kylo’s nostrils flared, and you saw the heave of breath that left him, but he kept quiet. So you continued. “You don’t respect me. Or maybe you do and you just suck at showing it. Because you called me here, you alerted me that there was something wrong and I thought you were dead, alright? I thought you were hurt and that you were bleeding out and that if I didn’t get to you in time that you were going to die and that it would be my fault.”

“I’m fine. There’s nothing wrong,” he said, voice laden with visceral restraint.

“And that’s the whole problem, don’t you see?” You bored one last stabbing glare into his eyes, and then rage clutched at your chest. A whiny, tired roar tore through your throat. “I’m such a joke. I… I can’t do anything. I’ve lost so much time and opportunity being assigned to you that I never learned how to do anything right! And you don’t care! You don’t care that I’m working under a preceptor who graduated the same month I did. You don’t care that I’m here, working unpaid shifts so I can prove to the Board that even if I’m unfit for practice, I am still worthy of life.”

Breath burned your throat, but it never seemed to fill your lungs. Kylo glared at you, a cold, flat expression dulling his features. You didn’t care. He needed to hear this. You needed to say it.

“I sprinted here from the Infirmary, and all I could think about was that I couldn’t lose you. That I wouldn’t live in a world where I wasn’t with you.” His brow narrowed at that, but you couldn’t stop. “And when I got here and you were okay, I felt like I could breathe again. But then you start with your Force-fucking bullshit and made me realize that you will never take me seriously. None of this will ever matter to you – not the fact that I won’t ever practice again, not the fact that you caused me to miss an IV, not the fact that that got me humiliated in front of a whole floor of staff who will forever know me as Kylo Ren’s Provider, the girl with the red embroidery and the too-short uniform.”

You hadn’t noticed, but your hand had gone to trace the embroidery you’d just mentioned, and when you flung your hand away, you saw a flicker of something unfamiliar in Kylo’s eyes.

A bitter, cold laugh croaked out of you. “Do you know who I’m working under? Does the name Calliope Silvren sound familiar to you?” You eyed him, and when he didn’t speak, you nearly barked at him, “Do you know who she is, Kylo?”

“No,” he said, and it sounded like the truth, but it didn’t matter to you if it was or not.

“Calliope Silvren is everything I was supposed to be. She’s everything I’m not, and… and she’s the one you are supposed to be fucking!”

“What are you talking about?” He ended the question with a tense cut of your name.

“Because I was your little fascination, right?” You scoffed, rolling your eyes at the thought as your vision blurred with tears. “I was nothing more than a game to you, and she was the one who was supposed to be assigned to you.” Gulps of breath hiccupped in your throat. “She wouldn’t have gotten herself into this situation!” The heels of your hands dug into your eyes, and you realized you were trembling. “Calliope fucking Silvren wouldn’t have taken the blood from that fridge, and she wouldn’t have fucked her Commander! Calliope fucking Silvren wouldn’t have named a stormtrooper and she wouldn’t have gotten raped and she wouldn’t have killed anyone!”

Something hard and cold cracked across your knees, and your hands fell out in front of you. The floor. Your legs had given out and you were sobbing uncontrollably on the sterile, frigid floor.

With a stuttering chest, you hugged your knees and cried into them. “I was never supposed to be here, none of this was supposed to happen. I was supposed to graduate and work in the Stormtrooper Hub and live a boring, mundane life.” Crushing pain flooded your chest, and your next words were nastier than you meant them to be. “A boring, mundane life where I fucked the physician until the day I died.” You looked up at him, then, and he was only a blurry outline of black and orange and purple. “Because that’s what I am to you, right? Just some slut who fucks all the men in her life.”

You scraped at your wet, burning eyes and a sob hitched in your throat. Kylo looked down at you, and you could feel the violent emotion that lived in his blackened eyes. But he said nothing, and when the silence pressed into you, the thought that came to mind was too loud to keep inside.

But that riotous thought came out on the meager dying breath of a whisper. “If your biggest concern right now is that I want to fuck Mason, then I have… I have deluded myself into believing that you care for me. That you ever cared for me.” The truth of it burned your tongue, and your chest ached for the death of the future you’d come running for.

Kylo didn’t look away from you for a long moment, and though he remained guarded, you saw something tense in his eyes. It wasn’t anger but sorrow. Sorrow and fear hidden behind a cracked mask. But then the notch in his throat moved and he turned away.

Anticipating his departure, you shut your eyes and braced yourself for the hydraulic hiss. Memories of the past few months flooded your mind’s eye, and you questioned if all this time it had been one-sided and imagined. The idea tore through you, and your chest hollowed when you thought of all the times you’d considered so dear could have only been ploys so he could control you, so he’d have access to his little fascination whenever he wanted.

The storm of thoughts overwhelmed you, but when you heard a drawer-release in the distance, muffled by the blood pounding through your skull, you lifted your head and opened your eyes to find Kylo hadn’t left. He was looking at you from across the room, his face haunted with a stabbing emotion you couldn’t quite place. His hands, glove-free now, held something, and when you caught view of it Kylo started toward you.

He didn’t stop until he stood just a stride in front of you, and when you stared up at him you saw his jaw was set, yet anger remained absent from him, still that sorrowful fear, but now it was softer, yielding. He took a silent breath, his shoulders rising evenly, and then you gasped and jolted upright as he folded himself to the floor before you and sat.

You gulped, gawking at him, noting he held an… IV starter kit?

“What are you doing?” you asked, taking in how awkward his massive form looked as he sat with his legs open and his knees slightly bent.

He said nothing, dropping the IV kit to the floor between his legs and proceeding to unclasp and shrug off the top layers of his uniform. He watched his hands while doing so, allowing you to observe him without the weight of his eyes pressing into you. He kept his eyes away until his chest was bare and you saw his biceps flex and flow as he placed the last of his clothing to the side.

Kylo picked up the sealed kit with one hand and your own in his other. He clasped the kit into your palm and pinned you with his gaze. “You are not a fascination,” he stated, clarity ringing in his voice.

He dropped your hand, only after squeezing it between his own, and then gripped the sides of your thighs and pulled you between his spread legs. You swallowed, heart thumping hard when he positioned your face just a breath from his.

He never looked away from you, and you couldn’t take your eyes from his, so when he next spoke you felt each powerful word kiss your cheeks and sink into your soul. “You are the light that has shown me my way.”

All at once, your heart stopped. Words refused to form. The harsh knit of his brow softened, and he lifted his forearm to rest on his flexed knee. With an unsteady, almost nervous emotion, he said, “You have not deluded yourself,” your name was a faint yearn off his tongue. “I care for you.”

He held his palm open and up, and the tips of his fingers played with the tab of the kit still resting in your hand, slight tremors coursing through your fingers. “Make this even. Use this,” he nudged the plastic container again, “and right the wrong I caused.”

It took a moment for your mouth to catch up with your brain, and when you finally spoke, your voice was small and weak. “I don’t know what you think will be proven by me placing an IV in your arm.”

“Just do it,” he urged, “because this won’t work unless you trust me, and-,”

“I can’t trust you if you don’t tell me what “this” is, Kylo,” you said, and it was louder than you’d meant for it to be. But you peeled open the kit and scooted back from Kylo so you could begin prodding at his arm for a good vein.

As you looked, finding bountiful fat, bouncy, obvious veins poking just under his skin, you felt him watching you. He pumped his hand a few times, and the sight of his veins and muscles swirling and popping dizzied you for a moment, a steady pulse now throbbing between your thighs. When your fingers danced down one particular vein, the one you’d admired while he slept this morning, you pressed against its spongey prominence and trailed it all the way down to his wrist.

“Your veins are literal artwork,” you sighed, but you hadn’t meant to say that out loud.

There was a fragment of amusement in Kylo’s brow, but he brushed over your compliment like you wished he would. “If I tell you what “this” is, “this” won’t work.”

“Then I guess I won’t trust you,” you said, sassy and defiant.

“Mm, that won’t work for either of us,” he rumbled, and you wanted to slap him for his sly tone.

You flicked his vein and reached for the kit, but there were no gloves, and you needed a saline flush. And an alcohol wipe. “You know, it’s a bad look when you come ill-prepared for any procedure,” you said, looking at him before standing and searching for your supplies, “it makes you look like you have no idea what you’re doing.” Once you had what you needed, you gave him a pointed stare as you walked back to him, looking down at him as you said, “It creates a lack of trust between patient and provider.”

There was that whispered amusement in his brow again, the same in the set of his mouth. “What happens if the provider doesn’t trust the patient?”

“Then the patient gets a dose of Ativan and goes to sleep so the provider can do her job effectively.” You knelt within the cradle of his hips again and repositioned his arm so you had better access to it. Using the cleanser provided in the kit, you scrubbed his arm, a bit more forcefully than you needed to, but it wouldn’t hurt him. And if it did… so be it.

You could feel the humor he found in your feisty comments. It irked you. You continued, staring him dead in the eye while you snapped the rubber tourniquet above his elbow. “Or if the chemical restraint isn’t appropriate, there’s always good old-fashioned mechanical ones.”

“Is that what you want to do to me, nurse?” Kylo purred, and even though it was infuriating that he was leaning into your anger, the tone of his voice made your legs quiver. “You want to tie me up and have your way with me?” Kylo hummed and it went straight to your center. “Seems like I’d have to trust my provider for that to occur.”

“You have no reason not to trust your provider,” you said blandly, priming the extension tubing with saline.

“And what do blatant lies do to your all-important patient-provider relationship?”

That stopped you. And what squeezed something deep in your heart were the hard eyes you found when looking back to him. You swallowed a gasp, your throat bobbing harshly. “What are you saying?”

“You know what I’m saying.” There was a cautious chill to his tone, like he fully believed what he was alluding to.

It wilted your insides. “You think I lie to you? You think I’ve lied to you?”

“You have. Many times. You’re lying to me even now.” Without taking his eyes from yours, Kylo nudged the open IV kit. “Continue. You’re getting to my favorite part.”

“I’m not going to continue. I can’t. Not after you tell me you… tell me you think I’m lying to you.”

“Continue and I’ll explain.” He was all too casual for what he was saying, and the half-grin he gave you was more alarming than comforting. “A compromise.”

A deep breath did nothing to fill your lungs, but you gave him a small nod and turned back to his arm. The tourniquet had been on for a while, and you’d rather not bruise your pride further from a blown vein so you released the knot.

“I’m letting those veins rest for a few minutes.” You swallowed, tugging at your bottom lip with your teeth. “Explain, I guess.”

Again, he didn’t look angry with you, and you didn’t know what to think of the firm calmness he was exhibiting. But he tightened his jaw for a moment and began.

“To start, the first night you were assigned to me. You weren’t there. And I’m sure you remember the outcome of that.”

Heat rose to your cheeks as you remembered him pulling your head back as water rocketed down your throat, burning your lungs. A shiver slid down your back. “I apologized for that. And it technically wasn’t a lie, as I explained that same night. Your ship got back early.”

“And then the time you stumbled in drunk in the middle of the night.” He went on as if you hadn’t said anything, and you swore there was a faint fond smile tugging at his lips.

“I apologized for both of those occurrences. And, in my defense, you hadn’t shown up for curfew until the night I got home late. You were never there, not when I got home and not when I left for the medbay. I didn’t see you for a week.”

“But I saw you,” he said, and it struck you silent. “My training with Snoke was unpredictable, but I always found myself… checking to see if you were there. It was always in the early hours of the morning when I got back, so you were sleeping.” He swallowed hard before he spoke again, like he didn’t want to admit whatever it was. “I liked seeing you so peaceful. You were never peaceful around me.”

You stared at him in awe, the tourniquet limp in your hand, and no words dared come to mind as he continued.

“So when you weren’t there the night I’d finally made it home before midnight, something in me… I realized that you’d started to mean something more to me. More than the fascination I thought you were.” His eyes were practically burning now, and your heart squeezed tight in your chest. “And then I carried you to your bed and saw you’d kept my cape from the previous week. And I knew if I allowed myself to let you keep it, that I’d be permitting whatever I felt then to give into that more. So I took the cape, and I decided that would be the end of it.” His throat bobbed. “I wanted that to be the end of it.”

Truthfully, your head was swimming in all he was saying. You didn’t know how to deal with it, and you found yourself staring at the floor, thinking back to that night a few months back, thinking about how you’d wanted him to stay. And now it was more haunting, knowing that he’d felt similar to you then, and you’d just accused him of never caring for you.

Kylo’s large hand came into view and tugged gently on the limp tourniquet threaded through your fingers. “My veins have rested long enough. Continue.”

The weight of his eyes was back and it took a moment to take yours away and focus back on his arm. Sitting between his legs was… nice, but it would be awkward angling a needle from this position. So you fixed yourself to straddle his thigh, sitting back on your heels and resting his hand palm-up on your thigh.

“Comfortable?” Kylo asked, and you heard his slight grin in the word.

“Shut up,” you grumbled, extremely aware of the heat of his leg pressing against your sex, against the pair of briefs you took from him this morning.

“I thought you wanted me to explain?”

You sucked your teeth and snapped the tourniquet in place in the same second. A low chuckle rumbled from Kylo, and you felt heat rise to your cheeks, so confused by his casual demeanor.

Gliding a gloved finger along your chosen vein, you whispered, “Continue,” before activating the cleansing sponge and scrubbing along his arm vigorously.

His nails brushed along your inner thigh and you swallowed a gasp, but when you grabbed the needle, he spoke up. “When we got back to Starkiller, and you chose to stay in the medbay after seeing what that stormtrooper had done.” Kylo broke off, deep, seething anger simmering along the mention of Robbie. “The next morning I found you’d slept there, completely open to harm from anyone who wanted to cause it—”

“Those doors are coded to badge access. I was fine.”

“So was your residence, but he found a way, didn’t he?” The harshness of his tone stole your focus, and you found his set jaw and knew that harshness wasn’t for you, but for the one he spoke of. “You weren’t safe and when I found you’d slept there that night, I was…”

Kylo looked at you with hard eyes, and you thought you knew what he wanted to say – or what he couldn’t say, really. “You were… concerned?”

“No,” he said, “I was enraged.” He swallowed. “Not with you, or that stormtrooper. With myself.”

The intensity of his gaze was too much, so you looked down and turned the bevel of the needle upward and began to angle it against his skin. “Why,” you whispered, voice a mere rasp.

“Because I should have killed him the moment we landed back on Starkiller.”

The words boomed through the small room, the rich violet of the sinking sun curling around the chilled tone of Kylo’s voice. A halo of fire lit his folded frame from behind, and you thought it matched that which now lived in the molten amber of his eyes. You realized in that moment that Kylo blamed himself for Robbie, and he’d just told you a truth he’d known for a long time.

You went to speak, but his other hand came to the one you grasped the needle with and pressed so the metal tip advanced beneath his skin. A curse fell from your agape mouth when his touch left and you saw blood return, advancing the IV catheter quickly and watching as crimson threatened to spill out. You released the tourniquet and fumbled with the extension tubing, securing it and flushing the vein with saline, something of pride and relief spreading through your chest as you met no resistance.

The next steps went by quickly – clamping the tubing, placing the transparent dressing over top, securing with extra tape, and slipping off your gloves – but you felt Kylo’s eyes on you the whole time. He was patient, and he shifted his leg and made you wince as it hit just the right spot, so when you finished gathering your trash and looked up again, you didn’t expect to find him with an expression of such… fondness. Still tense, but strong and unyielding, reverent almost.

“What he did to… to me, it is not your fault, Kylo.” You clasped your hand over his that rested on your thigh.

“It’s not your fault,” Kylo corrected, and you knew he meant it. He squeezed your hand and pulled you nearer, his leg pressing into that bundle of nerves and making you shiver. “And maybe it’s not mine either, but that doesn’t change the fact that I wanted to kill him.”

“Why does that matter?”

He took a long pause and sighed, searching your eyes and looking at your lips when he said, “I shouldn’t have cared that he hurt you, or that he took you out in the first place. I shouldn’t have cared that you didn’t consider that I would have kept you safe, or that I would have wanted you with me that night and not alone on a freezing exam table.” He swallowed. “And I should never have cared so much that you went to McCarty the next night, even when you’d agreed to come to me.”

You licked your lips, unsure when you said, “I was scared that the Board would see me on surveillance. You knew that.”

“Yes,” he said and huffed out something that resembled a tired laugh. “I knew that and yet I still wanted you with me. Because I am selfish and consider you something of an invaluable piece of me.”

A piece of him, you thought, dizzied by the outpouring of truth he was allowing. You skated your thumb along the veins of his hand, heart racing as the sun continued to set behind him. In a whisper, you asked, “But why should you have never cared about… those things? I… I like that you cared about them.”

He leaned into you after a slow second, and his forehead met yours. His breath warmed your face before he said, “I should never have cared about them because it meant that I cared about you. That I care about you.” He said, and when you gasped you felt him shudder. “I care about you, and that makes you a pawn in games you aren’t even aware of. And that isn’t your choice. It is wholly unfair to you for me to make you a target for my enemies.”

“I think I know at least one of the games I’m a pawn in,” you said, voice so shaky you could barely recognize it. He stilled, and you took one hand from his and grasped the back of his neck, threading your fingers through his sun-emblazoned hair. “And Kylo, what if it is my choice?”

“Then I am every bit the monster people know me to be.” Kylo said it more to himself, and you wondered why he sounded so haunted in that moment.

“You’re not a monster, Kylo. At least, you aren’t my monster.”

“No, you killed him.”

“Yes,” you swallowed, and you couldn’t help the hesitance that crept into your voice. “I did.”

Kylo lifted his head from yours then, and you knew he wanted you to keep your eyes on his as he said, “I say that because it’s true and you shouldn’t feel shame for doing so. I told you I wanted to kill him, but I didn’t know how satisfying it would be to hear you say you’d done it yourself.”

“You’re proud that I killed him?”

“I am proud that you did not hesitate.” He swallowed, eyes haunted once more. “I am proud that you recognized your enemy, and you knew what it would take to beat him.”

You didn’t say a word, but you nodded, sliding your hand from his nape to his chest. You searched his eyes as he looked down to where his hand was, and you felt his fingertips find the raised, off-color skin of the initials he’d branded you with. He knit his brow just slightly, and you moved your hand to cup his scarred cheek. He spent several more seconds gazing at the scar he’d given you, but his gaze found yours soon enough.

“I’ll tell you something that I shouldn’t like.” His eyes narrowed a small measure. With the pad of your thumb running along the curve of his healing scar, the black-and-white stitching still there but lesser, you admired him for a long, quiet moment. He continued to trace along your scar, and his leg shifted again, your breath catching before you could stop it.

“You told me you like my scars already.”

A slight smile tilted your lips to the side, but you spoke with little amusement when you whispered, “I like my scar, too.”

Kylo went utterly still, and then he slid his hand up so his heated palm closed over the raised letters on your thigh. “When I did this, I didn’t know…”

“You weren’t supposed to know,” you murmured, and your heart sank to your gut as memories of that horrid day flooded back, images of Snoke’s mangled existence, echoes of Mason’s pained screams ringing through your commlink.

“I could have known.” Again there was no anger in his tone, but something aching, regretful almost.

You brushed a few stray curls back from his face and smoothed a thumb along his temple. “Snoke would have killed Mason. He was monitoring your thoughts that entire day. I had no choice. I told you this yesterday.”

“And as I told you earlier, I am selfish.” He shrugged his shoulders slightly at the same moment you felt his thumb swipe the inside of your thigh. “You could have told me, right after you’d met with him. That’s why you weren’t home when I returned, wasn’t it?” You nodded and he went on. “I should have known something was wrong the second you got back to the Finalizer residence.”

“No you shouldn’t have. That’s the point—”

“No, the point is that you don’t trust me.”

“No, the point is that I couldn’t tell you or imply anything was wrong because Mason—”

“I do not care about McCarty,” Kylo nearly barked, but it was a reined in response by the way his voice lowered at the end. “I don’t care about anyone apart from you, and no matter how duty-bound you felt to protect your friend, you should have come to me.”

“And what would you have done but gotten him killed and risked my life in the process?”

“I will never risk your life,” Kylo seethed, his hand clamping over the scar he’d made. “But that’s the one thing you’re willing to gamble away at any sign of trouble for others, isn’t it?”

“What are you implying?”

“I’m not implying anything, I’m only speaking the truth when I say that you are so focused on trying to save everyone around you, that you fail to see how often you jeopardize yourself.” His nostrils flared, but the grip on your thigh lightened, and you didn’t feel threatened by him at all. “I have to be selfish because you will always be recklessly selfless.”

“And is that such a bad thing? I’ve saved two people, three if you count yourself, while being oh so recklessly selfless.”

Kylo’s face fell into incredulity. “And you now have the sweet promise of three more weeks with a pulse. And the added bonus of a chancefor more, but with the swift revocation of your license for however long you live afterward.”

The truth stung, but not quite so much as it did coming from him. “So, what? I should stop helping people?”

“I will never ask that of you,” he stated. “But I do ask that you not get yourself killed in the process.”

“Like you said, it’s probably too late for that.”

He looked at you hard and long, chewing his tongue. His eyes narrowed and he swallowed, staring at you with a thousand thoughts whirling in his gaze. He cleared his throat and fixed his features so he was no longer studying you so much as he was admiring you. Sultry eyes landed on your lips, and the hand over your thigh tightened, his other coming to mirror over your remaining thigh. He reared his leg upward and you yelped as the sudden friction settled into your clit, your torso slamming into the hard muscle of his chest so your arms were flung around his neck.

Kylo shifted you over his thigh, inching you up and back over the hard, thick muscles. His head turned so you felt his nose trace over the shell of your ear, his lips catching your ear lobe for a moment before you sighed from the pleasure of his movements.

He let you breathe for a moment, your fingers dipping into the curl of hair at his nape, his warm breath heating your neck. “Are you trying to distract me?”

“Not entirely,” he rumbled, his thigh inching up another measure, his hands pulling, grinding you against him. A small, contented moan fled your lips when another rush of heat coiled in your belly. “But if I were, I’d say I’m doing a good job of it.”

Your hips shifted of their own volition, a seethe rushed past your teeth, and you felt the day’s torture rush up all at once. Hours and hours of being led and teased with the Force, withstanding Kylo’s earlier intentions to catapult you into ecstasy. Being so close to him now, the heat of his bare chest sinking through the material of your uniform, your thighs straddled against the muscles he’d trained over years and years – you felt yourself giving into his touch.

And maybe it was because of everything he’d just told you, but you felt… better about allowing him to pleasure you now. There was less of an overarching sense that you were nothing but a toy for him. The idea of giving into him now, letting yourself go and enjoying the feel of his massive form under you, it felt good. It felt different from before, and even though you still had questions, mostly pertaining to why he was here in the first place, you knew you wouldn’t deny yourself or him any longer.

As you held onto him, he rocked you back and forth along the length of his thigh, rubbing you just right, keeping a sweet pace and listening as you let out tiny gasps from each synchronized roll of your hips.

“I was angry that I’d allowed myself to feel so much,” he breathed onto your neck as he kept his pace with your hips. “I couldn’t stand the thought that I meant nothing to you, that I was nothing to you.” You felt the flicker of orgasm as your body began to tense, his words an urging caress. “So I marked you as my own, and I watched you bear the pain of it in near silence. I wanted you to react, to scream at me with the shattering rage I knew in that moment. But you didn’t. You were so quiet and still…”

Your arms were going limp around his neck, so you slumped into him. Kylo curled his head further so his lips were pressed against your ear, his voice no louder than the breath of a whisper. “I thought about how just hours before, I’d felt your tears stream down my back, and I couldn’t shake the thought that you’d betrayed me so thoroughly for so long. I was so angry, I couldn’t see you. I couldn’t think of what it meant that you were silent while I cut into you with every ill-intent I felt in that moment. I was blinded by your betrayal, but also my own, because I knew better than to allow myself to get so involved with someone, because I was bested by a weakness that never should have existed. The weakness I created.”

Tendrils of release crept up your chest and you rode the edge of pleasure as your breath panted against his skin and he ground you harder into him. His teeth pulled at your ear lobe and shivers quaked outward along your neck and spine, his touch and words a separate charge toward pleasure.

“You don’t have weaknesses, Kylo,” you panted, barely recognizing your voice. “You are not weak.”

“No, I am not,” he breathed, kissing the hinge of your jaw, “but you are a weakness of mine, a piece of me, and a target because of it.” You whimpered against him as your body sprinted toward sweet release, losing grip on that last fraying string of sanity when Kylo said, his voice ragged and raw, “And I am selfish enough to ask that you trust me. Trust that I will never risk you even though I am a risk to you, because you are an extension of me, and I will defend you as I would my very own flesh and blood.”

In that moment, you felt more than the sexual bliss of orgasm, sinking deeply into the rasped words he’d given life from his tongue, but were born from his heart. His heart that beat so steadily when you lay against it, the heart you’d ran toward so often, even when you hadn’t realized it. Euphoria pulsed through your body as every word and breath he’d just gifted raced around your mind, leaving you to settle into him as you returned to the present.

“Be selfish,” you murmured, breathing heavily. “I will trust you. I do trust you.”

The strength of his arms tight against your back, pulling you into him, was as shocking as it was calming. He was holding onto you, not just holding you, but keeping you to him as tightly and surely as he could.

Through closed eyes you knew the sun would soon be hidden from the sky and taken over by night, but you didn’t care that time was passing. Because as your breath fell into step with Kylo’s own, time might as well have stopped existing.

“Why are you seeing McCarty tomorrow?”

Although the words were quiet, even as he spoke directly against your ear, their sudden presence spread like ice water over your heated skin. It’s not that he spoke with any harsh emotion, just that it shocked the silence you’d been nestled into. The room settled as you took a few more silent moments, but then it occurred to you that you’d never told him that.

“How do you know that I’m seeing him tomorrow?”

Neither of you moved, and you even toyed with a black curl as he said, “I told you I didn’t need to be near you anymore to… sense you.” He sighed, and it melted along the length of your spine. “I heard you at breakfast this morning. Talking to Hux’s provider.”

Swallowing, you braced your hands on his shoulders so you could peel away from him. He didn’t go easily, not tightening his hold but not letting you go either. The palms of your hands pressed gently into the warm skin of his chest, and soon your eyes found his in the faltering light of day. With a kiss of deep purple still hazing through the room, you searched his gaze with your own, and you wondered if the conversation you’d shared with Talia had anything to do with why he was here.

But there was more to that conversation than your plans to see Mason, and you needed to know how much he’d heard. “How does this… sensingthing work? It’s the Force, right?”

Kylo nodded, his hands resting on the curve of your hips. “It’s developed over time. The first time it was like I could hear you speaking right against my ear, but it was like the connection was weak. I could hear you, but it was unclear.”

Slight heat nipped at your cheeks. “It was the morning after I stayed with you on Starkiller, right?” The morning you’d rode your fingers like they were Kylo’s as you wore the briefs he’d put out for you.

“That was a great morning for both of us, I think.”

“I like how easy you’re being right now,” you whispered, and you weren’t sure if you meant to say that aloud.

“I can be hard if you want me to. I am, actually. Very.” A smirk lit his face and he led one of your hands down to the hard press of his prominent erection along the fly of his pants.

“I’m sure we’ll get to that later,” you said, glancing a thumb along his length before placing your hand back on his chest.

“If you’re sure,” he mumbled, and he leaned in to brush his lips against the base of your neck. He pulled away and looked at you, a finger now tracing the length of the “K” etched into your thigh. “Now, though, if I want, I can hear you however far away you are, and it’s like you’re standing next to me.” He cleared his throat and narrowed his eyes, their focus landing on your lips when he said, “I think due to the strengthening of the connection…”

His heart skipped under your palm. It startled you so much you had to stop yourself from flinching. His heart skipped… for me. “Our connection is… stronger now?”

He swallowed, his heart steadied, and he murmured into the dying light, “I want it to be stronger.”

“Why? If you can hear me clearly, why would it need to be strengthened?”

Kylo lifted a hand so it smoothed over one side of your face and found its way to the nape of your neck. “I can hear your words, what you say out loud and to others. But not your thoughts. Never your thoughts.” His expression was far away for a moment, his thumb pressing idle circles along the length of your throat. “Sometimes, though, I feel what you feel. Only recently.”

“What I feel?”

“Strong emotions, mostly.” Kylo continued to stare over your shoulder, and something dark and dangerous settled in his jaw when he paused. “The first time I could recognize it for what it was – recognize it was you– was just before Starkiller fell. It was right after I’d been struck. I remember blinking up, blinking blood out of my eye as I was flat on my back willing myself to get up, and through the pain of my injuries came this surge of…” His nose scrunched, and his lip lifted into something of a snarl. “It felt like I was on fire. Not my face or my side. But like the Force was burning through my whole body. And then I heard you, like you were screaming right next to me, and you were screaming at someone to get off of you.”

Kylo paused, his chest entirely still, like breathing was hard where his mind had taken him. His hand dropped from your nape and absently curled around your wrist, toying with the band of your watch. The pad of your thumb drew slowly along his sternum, and you watched the warm amber of his irises drown in a stark, frigid black.

“And then I wasn’t burning. I felt my own injuries again, and I was no longer trying to move. I was laid out on my back, Starkiller crumbling all around me, and the only thought I had was that…” Kylo shuddered, the hand around your wrist stilled, and his jaw hardened to steel. “I thought you were dead. And I didn’t know why, but that thought stalled me. I should never have cared for you, but especially not then, not when I thought you’d betrayed me.”

Kylo looked at you then, the very last remnants of the sun a muted halo behind him, and whatever breath remaining in your lungs fled under his searing gaze. “I sent a signal to your watch, but that burning didn’t come back.” He swallowed. “You were dead, and I couldn’t… I wouldn’t move. I knew I had to, but all I did was fall into the absence of that burning. The absence of you.”

Once more you thought of how Kylo had looked at you in the dark of the Command Shuttle, remembered how you thought it was wonder or shock. With an ember of breath you croaked, “You thought I was dead.” Such a redundant statement, but you said it and you felt the haunt of that awed expression die away. “You thought I was dead, but then…”

“Then you were there, and I thought I had died.” Kylo slid his hand up your palm and clasped his fingers around yours, squeezing tight and pressing it to the middle of his chest. Just above his heart. “But then I heard your voice again, but it was different. You weren’t in my head, but you were with me. I tried to reach out to you, but I couldn’t. I warred in my mind until I realized you were there, but I wasn’t.”

“The coma.” Kylo had tried to reach out to your voice. You’d thought he hated you then, that he wouldn’t want to be violated by the one who had wounded him so deeply. He told you he’d heard you days ago, but knowing he wantedyou there, even if he never said otherwise – it struck through to your soul.

“I could just barely feel your hands. I heard everything you said and it was agony. To be there, listening to you blame yourself, hearing the guilt and pain in your voice – and not be able to do anything? It felt like I was burning from the inside out.”

Before you could process it, a hand was behind your nape and your mouth was against his. It wasn’t a violent kiss, no thrashing tongues or frantic lips; rather, it was a kiss full of dead regrets and roiling anguish. Kylo claimed your mouth in a slow, steady pace set by a war between pain and need. It was a kiss of mourning and grief.

His lips left yours but only enough so when you breathed, yours would glance off of them. He panted and swallowed, and the hand keeping yours to his chest spread your fingers so you could feel the deep, steady thump of his heart beneath them.

“But that moment, it was me burning, not you. Just before you left, when I felt your lips on mine and pleaded with my body to finally come back to me, your presence was like a salve. It found me through the darkness, and it calmed me, quieted the flames roaring in my mind, and it steadied me.”

As close as he was, he found your eyes, and you felt them sink deeply into your own. “You couldn’t have given me more,” he kissed your name to your lips, “because when I woke up, when I found my body and felt the braids, it was all real to me. You were real to me.” Kylo paused, breathed, and his heart skipped beneath your hand. “You couldn’t have given me more. You were alive. There will never be anything more than that.” He kissed you again, and this time it was hungry, ravenous as he stole your breath and claimed your mouth. “It was everything. It is everything.”

Words were thick in your throat, heavy in your mind, but the whole of what came from your parted lips, between the soft pants of breath that fell from them as he continued to nod his own full mouth into yours, were sighs and gasps of contentedness. In his arms, right now, after all was said and all was done, you thought for a moment that should you have died, you would have gone happily.

It was a feat to pull away from him, but you did, and you watched as the purple and orange of the sun wasted away behind him. “I am seeing Mason tomorrow because he’s letting me grab some clothes for the trial. And he’s been weird since Starkiller. And weirder since getting to Canto Bight. I know you don’t like him much, but he’s important to me, and I need to talk to him.” Kylo’s lashes lowered after his heavy gaze pulled away from you, the hand on your nape going back to trace the scar on your thigh. “Is that why you really came here? Because you overheard me this morning talking about visiting him?”

For a moment he remained quiet, the faintest touch of his fourth finger kissing your skin, but he looked up to you and found your eyes. “I’m here because you were still concerned with the Board, and even Hux, and knew if that was true, that it would also be true that you hadn’t listened to me. That you still didn’t trust me.”

“Kylo—”

“I should never have expected you to trust me so blindly, not after I’ve given you countless reasons not to.” He swallowed then, something of an apology knitting his brows together. “But for your own safety, you cannot know everything—”

“About the elusive “this” you keep referencing?”

“Yes,” he said, and his voice was clear and adamant. “By whatever means, you will survive this trial. Trust in that.”

“Okay,” you said, and you meant it. He’d said a lot today. It was enough. For now, at least. “But may I propose something that maybe you haven’t thought of?”

With a deep, cleansing breath, you took both his hands and dropped them in your lap, dismounting his leg and once more settling in the cradle of his thighs, propped on your knees as you met him with an unfaltering stare. “I will trust you, but you have to trust me back.” You trailed a finger over the secured IV you’d placed. “Trust me with more than your body. Trust me… wholly.”

Kylo seemed off-put by the thought of that, and he studied you for long, seemingly eternal minutes; he looked conflicted, like he was weighing every outcome of what that meant. When you thought he wouldn’t answer, he cleared his throat and said, “I’ve done that before.”

He had, you knew that, but you needed to say something before he decided he wouldn’t do so again. “And the only reason you stopped was because Snoke weaponized me, used me to get to you so he can have you in his arsenal, at his expense whenever he wants. You are more than that, Kylo. More than his or anyone’s to use. Do not let him win. Not again. Not anymore.”

His jaw steeled as each of your hard words met their mark with deadly precision. And when he spoke next, his tongue was a blade, his tone a sharp, unyielding promise. “He’s already lost. He just doesn’t know yet.”

“So it’s settled. I trust you, you trust me.”

There was hesitance, but he gave a single, curt nod. His brows knit for a moment and then his features seemed to soften. “I can get you clothes. Although, I do prefer you without them.”

Heat rushed to your cheeks, but you knew what he was doing, and as endearing as it was, you wouldn’t yield to him on this. “I’m seeing Mason tomorrow, and no amount of dirty words or pretty clothes will change my mind.” You notched a brow. “You’ll just have to trust me, I guess.”

“Already abusing your power,” he purred, and he pulled you into him so your legs opened and splayed over his hips and behind him. “Don’t make me regret this decision.” His tongue traced along your carotid, followed by the plush press of his lips. “At least, not so soon.”

He pushed a hand into your hair and turned your neck to the side, sucking the tender skin until he surely left a mark. His teeth skated along the hinge of your jaw, his lips trailing up your chin until his skillful tongue pushed past the seam of your mouth. It found yours and led you into a breathtaking whirl of sensation. You moaned into him, loving his weighted breath, feeling his cock harden beneath, growing as you rolled your hips into him.

He hummed, slipping his tongue away and sucking your bottom lip, your hands leading into his thick, midnight locks as the room settled in the darkness of night. He nudged his nose into you and teased your lips again, chuckling as you leaned into his efforts and chased his toying mouth.

“Tell me one more thing,” he hummed, and his tone was decadent and rich, a pulse of heat lighting between your legs.

“Anything, Kylo,” you sighed, finally catching his mouth and biting his bottom lip.

“Were you going to mention that your friend is pregnant with the General’s illegitimate kid, or were you hoping I didn’t catch onto that part of your talk this morning?”

Well. If anything was going to kill the mood, that was it.

“You know,” you sighed, bracing yourself on his shoulders and pulling out of his embrace, “as much as I dislike General Hux, mentioning him doesn’t count as dirty talk.”

Kylo chuckled deep in his chest, and his mouth was twisted in a lopsided smirk. He insisted again, not a fowl note in his voice, “Were you going to tell me?”

“It wasn’t my news to tell.” You shoved his shoulder. “And it’s not yours either, understand?”

“Really? I was looking forward to congratulating him and sharing a few cigars with the father-to-be.” You shoved him again and he laughed, appearing so young as he put his hand atop yours and traced his thumb over the back of your hand. “I don’t plan on telling him. And I don’t care if your friend—”

“You are allowed to call her Talia. You’re also allowed to call him Mason, if you didn’t know.”

“I’m not very fond of being on a first-name basis with someone I don’t plan on ever knowing. As for the physician,” his brow ticked as you frowned at the title he used so often, “I just don’t like him.” He cleared his throat. “Anyway, I don’t care if Harper”—you smiled at the compromise—“tells him or not. I’d actually find it quite funny if she kept it from him until the very last second. He could use a good kick in the pants.”

“So, you really won’t tell him, then?” You pushed a lock of hair back from his temple with your free hand.

He sighed exaggeratedly, and the next thing you knew, you were in the air and being lifted to sit on the edge of the exam table, Kylo’s hands resting on the tops of your thighs. “No, I won’t tell the General of his bastard lovechild. Or maybe I will,” he raised a teasing brow, “I guess you’ll just have to trust me.”

“Oh, really?” you challenged, leading the flat of your hand up the rigid muscles of his chest.

“Really,” he breathed in answer, dipping his head and laving his tongue past your lips, stroking it against your own as his hands caught the hem of your uniform and pulled it from the length of your body.

Your hands lifted for him, and soon you were bare – bare to the cool room, bare to the city that sprawled behind you. Bare to him. The only remaining article was his black briefs. His mouth was on your neck, kissing and biting and sucking along your pulse. Large, bold hands slid down the curved lines of your sides, thumbs petting over your belly. Kylo leaned down to your chest, kissing into the tender flesh, mouthing at the swell of your breast until he pulled a nipple into his mouth and tongued over it, around it, until your head fell back and a long, throaty groan left you.

“I need to taste you,” he breathed, taking his mouth from your breast only for a moment.

A needy hand found the back of his neck, and you pulled him closer as you arched into his mouth, into the heat of his tongue trailing to take your other nipple between his plump, scorching lips. He looked up at you, heated amber seeping into your eyes as you saw his mouth move and felt his tongue draw on the tip of your breast.

Kylo smirked when you shuddered against him, and then his hands left you. There was a metallic squeak, and he popped your breast from his mouth. When you looked down at him next, his eyes were full of mischief and a tantalizing glint that made your heart drop.

Kylo had pulled out a set of stirrups that had been locked beneath the table. And by that damn glint in his eye, you knew his every intention. You knew, too, by that very same glint, you wouldn’t need convincing.

“Trust me?” he asked, and the devil lived in the smirk that spread across his face.

“I probably shouldn’t.”

“Much too late for that.”

Kylo leaned forward like a predator readying to strike. First his mouth found yours, kissing you deeply, his hands cupping the back of your neck. Then, he kissed down to your breasts, tonguing a nipple, looking up at you when he bit down. A rumble rolled in the depths of his chest. Large hands smoothed over the curves of your silhouette, gripped your thighs and led you toward the edge of the table.

He stopped for a moment, his chin skimming your soft belly, his gaze a vice grip on your own. And when he had you positioned as he wanted, his thumbs curled into the briefs’ waistline and he pulled them out from under you. Kylo stopped once he uncovered your sex; keeping his eyes on yours, a tether of pure lust between you, he dipped his head and dragged his nose over your mound. His inhale was self-indulgent, slow and torturous, his eyes slipping back before his lids shut, the smell of you seemingly a drug of the highest potency.

Kylo groaned, inhaling a second time, the fog of his exhale flourishing over your tender, slick flesh. He slipped the briefs free from your legs, holding your ankles in one massive, binding hand.

“As much as I enjoy you wearing what’s mine,” he hummed, a hand under each ankle now, and leaned down to join his nose to the supple skin of your inner thigh, dragging ever closer to the pulse now aching to be attended to, “I admit taking it off you is much more satisfying.” His lips pressed into the sensitive flesh, his hot exhale whispering along the top of you slit. “Ask me why that is.”

Heat was enveloping your body, and your breasts heaved as breath came in short, harsh pants, but when you went to speak, Kylo’s tongue distracted you. Just before the question left your lips, he sucked the skin of your inner thigh and bit down. And as you moaned at the heady sensation – that wondrous pleasure pain – his arm encircled the leg already attended to and blindly placed it into the hard cradle of the stirrup. When it was secure, his hand slinked up the length of your body, grasping your breast while he kissed and sucked and nipped at your left thigh.

“Why,” you breathed out, unsure if you said anything, head spinning impossibly.

“Because,” Kylo crooned, muffled against the tissue he mouthed at, “the clothes are mine, but so are you. And I am undone at the sight of what is mine bared and sprawled for my taking.”

Soft, pretty moans slipped from you when he repeated the process of placing your leg in the second stirrup, his words a sweet poison in your thrumming veins. Once you were settled, and after he’d kissed his way up your calf, he stood between your raised legs – the sight of his purely masculine form laving your nerves with anticipation and lust – and watched, perhaps too intently, as he pushed your legs apart until you were sure you’d split in two.

In the light of fresh dusk, the notch in his throat bobbed, the weight of his gaze settled on the sight of your dripping, desperate cunt. Kylo’s tongue dipped into sight momentarily, glinting when it unthinkingly swept over his bottom lip. His eyes remained steady, the flat of his palms lighting sparks along your inner legs, and you watched as he brushed two long fingers down your folds, parting your sex and slipping through the wetness that was welled there.

Finally, his gaze lifted, the scalding, rich amber of his irises melting into you when the thick tips of his fingers prodded your entrance. Kylo watched you, enthralled, as those fingers sunk into you, deeply, wholly, filling you until you writhed around them.

Eager hips lifted from the table, leveraging the stirrups, guiding him that much deeper. He granted your silent wish, grasping one hip and pulling you forward, leading his fingers back and forth, curling them upward and pressing that oh-so-decadent spot in a paced, torturous pattern. You met him with each thrust, slowly rolling your hips, raising your hands to touch and mold your breasts.

A strong thumb found residence over the aching body of your clit, your answering moan unapologetic and entirely too loud. He rolled his hand over and inside you, stroking and filling you so masterfully that you quickly felt the first stirrings of orgasm.

Right when you were poised to cum, you felt it, felt a third finger push into your cunt, the sensation indulgent and overwhelming. It’s like his hand was lodged so full and far in your body that you could feel him in your throat. Kylo continued stroking your nerve as your hands clutched the edges of the exam table, your back arched and head flung back. The room was filled with sounds of sex, the smell of it too, and it all built on what you knew would be a world-shattering release.

“I feel so full, Kylo,” you moaned.

Before he answered, heat crowded your torso, and the brand of his lips burned the line of your breastbone, the hand that filled you never stalling. “You can take more, though.” His nose nudged the base of your breast, his teeth glancing off of the tender tissue. “You can, and you will.”

He didn’t know what he was saying, because there was no way—

“Oh, fuck,” you mewled, throaty and deep, when you felt a fourth finger fill your brimming cunt. “Kylo, there’s… oh, I can feel you… everywhere. You’re everywhere.”

It was no lie, the flow of his four thick, long fingers deep inside your soaked pussy engulfed every nerve you had, and the way his thumb continued to stroke your clit made it so you felt like your soul would float from your body.

But then that thumb left, Kylo moved down the length of your abdomen, kissing and claiming, until you felt his tongue draw against that bundle of nerves. The hand that grasped your hip anchored your writhing body to the table, but the press of his fingers suddenly deepened. Then, just as suddenly, occurring in the very same breath, you felt his thumb join those other four fingers.

A guttural, animal cry born from the deepest depths of your lungs filled the room and shattered against the night-peering transparisteel. His whole hand, fisted and tight, moved against you, filled you unthinkably, and snapped the last coil of sanity that bound your body and soul. His mouth sucked your clit, his tongue striking you with tight, paced licks.

It was all too much, he was too much – his hand, his mouth – your body bowing from the table, legs shaking and sweaty. Every sensation drenched your skin, every shared word blared through your mind, and ecstasy rushed you with a force that rivaled that which precipitated the fall of Starkiller.

Luminous, you were a nebula at the mercy of a black hole. Though you knew the deep pull of him left you broken and breathless, you found yourself surrendering to it, and it called to you just the same. He blazed with darkness while you drowned him with light; in this moment, neither of you could tell where one ended and the other began.

Slowly, the world around you reentered your thoughts. The sound of heavy, breathless pants spilled from your parted lips. A branding heat covered your front, and your hand had at some point come to tangle into Kylo’s hair, scratching the back of his head in idle patterns. There was a slight ache coming from the now vacant space of where he’d just had his hand, but it was pleasant in a way. You opened your eyes, and you couldn’t help your gasp.

The stars were out tonight. They looked so different from when you were in space, far away yet crowding every inch of the evening sky. Clusters twinkled on one end, groups seemingly traveling together. Every so often, as you spent minutes on your back admiring the night’s speckled beauty, a hazy cloud would drift in and out of view. Some were a dusky orange, others a lush violet that cast such complementary shadow over the backdrop of the star-brimming sky.

“The stars are out,” you murmured, melting into the feel of his weight covering you.

Kylo didn’t say anything, but you felt the soft press of his lips dip into your belly. Then lower, and lower. His actions carried no sexual intent, and you soon learned why.

A certain reverence lived in the hand that brushed over the scar etched into your left thigh. Kylo’s thumb swept over the raised, healed lines of his initials, circling the area over and over again. Soon, the warm breath of his exhales grazed the exposed skin, and you gasped when you felt the familiar touch of his lips.

He kissed the flesh there, a kiss of longing, a kiss full of silent… apology? No, not apology. Not sorrow or remorse. It was a kiss of gratitude, and you thought you could hear the soft murmurings of words too quiet to comprehend just as he pressed his lips again to those two precise etchings that would live on you forever.

You lifted your left leg from the stirrup and led it down his back, hooking it around his hips before leading the other in the same path. He looked at you then, and you leaned up and cupped his jaw in your hands before pulling him up and kissing him softly. He held your waist and lowered his head as you moved your mouth against his.

When your hands led down the pane of his abdomen, you broke away from him and held his eyes in your own. Even with so little light, there was something bright about them now, like the smoking embers of a long-burned fire. The scar that cut through his features was healing, you regarded, and you made a mental note to have a physician remove the black-and-white stitching that remained nestled across his cheek.

His eyes narrowed for a second, but he turned away before you could question it. Kylo took your discarded clothes from the floor and helped you redress. His touch was achingly gentle, such a contrast to what you knew he could do to people with the strength imbedded in his soul. Soon the hooks of your bra were met and the light caress of his briefs returned to your hips. You held your arms up as he slid your uniform over your head and onto your waiting body.

“Thank you,” you whispered.

Kylo nodded and began gathering his clothes. You slid from the exam table and slipped your shoes on, wandering to the wall of windows and peering out over the city. It was truly magnificent, especially now that it surrounded you with all the life of night buzzing down below. It carried this silent threat that it could swallow you whole if you allowed it.

Then, from the corner of your eye, you spotted what Quynnland had been staring at so intently. It was closer now, and you could see that it was a large, hollow structure. It was a racing track, like you’d thought, but it was enormous. There was movement inside of it, but even squinting you couldn’t quite catch any detail of what was going on.

Warm hands met your shoulders, and you knew he wore his gloves now. “Why are you staring at the fathier track?”

“Fathiers?” you wondered aloud, leaning into him and clasping a hand over one of his.

“Racing creatures that serve as entertainment to the corrupt wealth that live in this city. Impressive beings, really.” He leaned down and his lips caressed the shell of your ear. “What’s interested you with them?”

“I had a patient today. He told me his brother is there. His kid brother.” You swallowed, offput by the memory of how helpless Quynnland had sounded, had appeared as he told you this. “He asked me to get him away from there.”

Kylo tensed behind you, and a long push of breath fogged the side of your neck. “Always trying to save everyone.”

“I won’t get myself killed. I promise.” You sighed, running your hand down the length of his arm. “Did you take that IV out? You should have let me help.”

“I’m healing, not incapacitated.” Kylo took a step back from you and you turned, seeing him waiting for you at the door. “We should get back to the Consulate. I’m sure your shadow has given her report by now.” A half-smirk pulled his mouth up.

“Why does it look like you think that’s a good thing?” You walked over to him and he activated the door, the two of you stepping out and meandering through unfamiliar halls.

“If he suspects that there is something going on between you and I, Hux would likely use that information when he testifies next week. But, to claim you had inappropriate relations with me would force him to publicly acknowledge that all similar relations between any provider and their assignment are inherently inappropriate…”

Kylo pulled open a door and let you pass, the two of you walking toward a transport docking bay stationed at the top of the medical structure. When you stood in front of a familiar transport, he stopped next to you and you watched as the entrance descended to let you in.

Kylo stepped forward, his boots heavy on the ramp, and he turned and looked at you with features gilded in prideful victory. “As much as Armitage Hux dislikes you and hates me, he is an intelligent man. He would never make himself appear so weak by publicly contradicting himself by shaming you for fucking your assignment when he is actively doing the same with his provider.”

He spoke so powerfully, it was like the night around you had quieted to hear him. You took a breath, all the air having seeped from your lungs under the weight of his adamant eyes. “And you’re sure of that?”

Kylo held out a gloved hand, offered it to you before he said, his voice the deepest caress, “Do you trust me?”

In that moment, with the night cloaking you from the city, with the words he’d earlier spoken echoing around your mind, and the touch he’d painted your body with that was altogether yearning and claiming at once, you knew you did. Wholly and completely, and perhaps too much, you trusted him.

So you took his hand, and you looked up at him with the same strength that lived in his eyes, and said, without a single doubt in your mind, or your heart, “Yes, Kylo. I trust you.”

[strawbabysimp]

Adult Trio Soulmate Strings AU HCs

Chrollo

No one had told him what the string meant, what was on the other side waiting for him. Children in Meteor City knew how to fight and how to live and how to kill. Not how to love. Or maybe they did and the world simply told them they shouldn't. That they weren't deserving of it. As he got older Chrollo eventually sought out the meaning of this mysterious red string, finding his answer in one of the books he managed to get his hands on in that wretched and beloved place. A soulmate.

There was a person out there just for him, but more importantly, there was a destiny. A plan for him. He knew he had to find them, to secure this irrefutable connection to another. The leader had planned to meet them when he got out of Meteor City, it was part of the reason he formed the Troupe. Though, as the years went on and life took its toll on him, as it did anyone, the desire to find this person faded. By the time The Spiders had managed to become a notorious group, it was a dream within a dream. A soulmate? How tragically philosophical.

That's not to say he wasn't curious, but he lost that drive, running on autopilot as he searched for a passion without the motivation to even want one. Sometimes he did find himself especially enraptured by the red string secured around his finger though, toying with it during meetings or tying small knots that soon came undone while laying in bed.

Guilt wasn't something he felt often, taking lives and valuables without a second thought was a regular occurrence, but with you? He felt utterly in the wrong. To deny you of something even he found beautiful simply because he "didn't care?" That's when he felt like a monster. He found comfort in the title though, embracing the fact of what he was. He was selfish and greedy and somehow still found a way to prevent himself from gaining the one thing that could save him.

One day he had been twisting the string between his fingers, a mannerism that even the others around him had picked up on when there was a tug back. It became a regular occurrence, the two of you pulling on the string lightly back and forth. You tried to beg him through the string to come to find you, pulling him in your direction, but he never did come. You knew it was impossible to tell, but it seemed he had gotten even farther away.

The only connection you'd ever have with him was through those small motions and you'd go on to love someone else. Maybe not in the way you would have loved him, but there's not much to do when you're destined to love someone who was forced to learn how not to.

Hisoka

"I don't have one" he'd respond calmly. This was his and his alone, so what if people thought he was a freak? He wouldn't allow someone to interfere with this in even the most minuscule way. A person who relied on him and only him to fulfill the grandest idea of love? Nothing could hold more power than the blood-soaked string tied around his ring finger.

Heaven's Arena was a well-known spot, a tourist attraction of sorts, so you simply had to stop by when you happened to be near. As you made your way to the stands and gazed on at the stage you found him already looking at you, giving you a quick smirk as your gaze fell to his hand with a shocked expression. At the end of his "performance" he typically met with fans but this time he naturally went straight to you, a single blood-stained rose held out in a tender gesture. You didn't question how he had managed to obtain the flower, too busy processing the fact that this bizarre man was your soulmate.

Every moment with you is too much for him to endure. It's an adrenalin rush that he's become addicted to but whenever he looks at you he gets this urge to tear everything you are apart and cover himself in the pieces he could never think to reach from the outside. Being close to you is never close enough and the only way to satisfy this feeling of need would be to destroy you. He can't bear to do that but it's so tempting.

At rare times something in him seemed to break, going off on tangents about the cruelty of his thoughts and how he longed to turn you into yet another victim of his murderous desires. He had planned to take over your life, wishing to bask in the high your undying love was sure to give him. A man becoming weak through the pursuit of power is a pitiful sight even for one not tied to them by fate. "My love will never complete you. I take and I take and I offer up only the worst parts of myself because that's all I have to offer. That's the tragedy of loving me, my dear. I will not apologize because I do not feel bad, however, I will not allow myself to hurt such a lovely thing."

You always come back to each other, the string acting as a sort of magnet between you two. Eventually, you both come to accept the situation for what it is; deadly but far too tempting to not risk everything for. He was the most beautiful thing you'd ever laid eyes on and if the image of him was the last thing you ever saw you'd consider it a privilege.

Surprisingly enough, the magician never does end up taking your life, finding the unfamiliar task of restraining himself a new sort of challenge to prove his strength. Holding you close to him, pressing your body against his as he watches your auras merge, was a common occurrence. When his bloodlust rose and your fear spiked just a fraction he would plant a gentle kiss on your cheek before pulling away with some excuse, you both knew he did this to protect you but he'd never admit that.

Illumi

Soulmates were a weakness in the eyes of the Zoldycks, hypocritical to say the least as Silva and Kikyo were tied by fate, but that was typical. Despite the harsh words his parents had told him, his curiosity would eventually get the better of him and he would seek you out. Traveling in the direction the string took him without fail. It was an easy task when you had money and power. Locating you was not the issue, deciding what to do with you once found was. Simply approaching you wouldn't do.

He watched you for a long time, disappearing into a crowd or dark corner whenever you felt eyes on you. One day you found yourself doing trivial tasks, walking the streets on your way to pick up a snack, or do some light shopping when an unfamiliar feeling hit you. It wasn't unpleasant so much as it was surprising. You even describe it as lovely.

Despite his best efforts to keep himself hidden from your view, Illumi had never been trained to hide love. Pain, fear, anger, sadness, all these were painstakingly buried deep within him to the point that even he didn't know how to release them. But what he felt when looking at you grew greater with each small action and he didn't notice it slipping through until it was too late.

The second your eyes met he was a goner. It was like a drug to the emotionally-deprived man and while he knew it wouldn't do any good to engage you, the selfishness that was ripped out of him from a young age came flooding back full force. Both of you remained shocked as you approached one another but the small smile you gave him was enough to make him think that maybe this was the one time surrendering himself to feelings was okay.

Marrying you was a plan he wants to put into action as soon as possible, using the piece of paper as a form of protection. "Never kill a family member" read the Zoldyck rules that were engraved into the assassin's mind. This would be one of many forms of rebellion you had influenced Illumi in making, and while it wasn't necessarily against the rules, it was certainly not something he thought his parents would approve of.

When you're hanging out he remains a bit stiff, not sure of how to act around someone casually. You begin to feel off-put by the awkward composure of your soulmate though he picks up on it easily, his ability to read people far more advanced than the average person. Illumi allows a small bit of his aura to shine through the veil to reassure you of his contentment, and while he won't acknowledge it, you're grateful for his efforts. It's during one of these dates, hidden away in a hotel relaxing beside one another, that the usually warm and comforting aura changes. His arm comes to hold you just a bit tighter and the love he allowed to encompass you shut off. This had happened times before but your attempts at reassurance through small touches did no help to soothe the Zoldyck.

Later that night his hand would rest gently against your cheek as the light in your eyes dies, your face is wet with tears but a forgiving smile still rests kindly on your face. You're already gone. He can feel it. Despite this he holds you against him late into the night, only letting go when he can no longer bear to see you in such a state. His eyes stay downcast as he refuses to look up at the state the sky is in, not wanting to face the fact that the wetness of his cheeks could be from anything other than the weather. He sends one message before putting his phone away with shaking hands. Yet another job is done.