#the potato quality is not my fault

[rockingtheorange]

If this is just a small peek of what we could've had for rwrb1, imagine what we'll get for the sequel 🥴

[lovvecherrymotion]

izpira se zlato

[em-dashes]

AA look at this baby mockup

[actually-safer-to-kiss]

Dinner Time

Summary: Reader makes Spencer his first homemade dinner after getting out of prison, and they both realize he's got some adjusting to do.

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader

Category: Hurt/Comfort

Content warnings: Eating, mentions of weight loss, hurt Spencer, ambiguous ending

Word count: 1k

Spencer sat at the small table in your kitchen. You set it up with funky-patterned napkins, an extra big spoon, and a used candle lit in the middle; the whole shebang. You prepared his serving of your vegetable soup, the meal he requested to celebrate his arrival home. “Are you comfortable?” You ask as you hover over the stove.

He nods and picks up his napkin, observing the pattern and weight. “Where did you get these?”

“Your mom found them when we were shopping. She said they reminded her of your socks. Isn’t that sweet?”

He blew air through his nose before saying “Wow.” He rubbed his thumb along it, following the vivid stripes. You didn’t want to tell him how she teared up when she spotted them. How she held the set close to her chest made you feel sorry that she remembered without help.

“She took it as a sign you were coming home.” Half true. More like you convinced her it was. She asked you to buy them for that reason, to celebrate. “And now here we are.” You beamed as you say the words.

“That’s wonderful.” He looked up at you and smiled. You saw it in your peripheral as you opened a pack of oyster crackers. You knew he wanted to thank you for making time for her. He wanted to, but you insisted the thank yous were enough after he said it the fifth time in 24 hours. You flashed him a brief grin as a muted response, and he appreciated it.

“Alright,” You held the bowl carefully, mistakenly filling it to the brim. Due to the sheer joy of having him home, safe, and innocent (in the eyes of the law), you almost didn’t notice he had lost weight. The first time you saw his spine after getting out of the shower, you didn't even think it was possible for him. “Extra potatoes, per your request, mon amour.” You emphasize your terrible French accent which makes him chuckle.

“Merci, mon amour.” His flawless accent almost ruined the joke.

“Okay, show off, so happy you're home.” You sneered, and his smile was even wider. You grab your own bowl and sit by his side. His elbows somehow naturally find their way to the table, boxing in his soup like he was cornering prey. Spoon in hand, he dipped in the hefty bowl. Then he shoveled in some of those extra potato chunks with some tomato-y broth. Hungry, you thought, as he leaned over the bowl, steam gliding over his rough stubble. He took a second and third bite, despite his mouth being nearly stuffed.

You didn’t say anything at first. You didn’t want to imagine the food he had to eat or meals he might have skipped because of poor quality (or other reasons). As he chewed hastily, for a moment, it gave you hope he'd gain weight quickly.

But then he reached out for his water to drink like he needed to soothe something too spicy.

Or something too hot.

“Honey?”

Bite four, five, and six. He chewed.

“Spencer.”

“Hm?” Bite seven, eight —

You put a hand on his arm and Spencer’s head immediately turned to you. It made you pull back, not touch him. His face was red and his mouth hung open, similar to a dog sticking its tongue out to cool off. “Spencer. You can let it cool.”

He swallowed, not chewing enough, and it pained him. “I can’t. I want to finish before bed.” His tongue barely touched the roof of his mouth as he spoke.

“Are you that tired?”

“No.” His eyebrows furrowed at the question, looking just as confused as you. “We only have 30 minutes for dinn—” And somehow his face of realization was even more upsetting to witness. There's a silence, brief but heavy as his whole face fell and he covered his eyes with one hand. “I’m sorry.” He sniffles.

“It’s not your fault.”

"I'll… take my time." He leans on his elbow and looks down at his meal, staring, waiting for the steam to stop. It was seconds later that his eyes were lined with tears again.

You were afraid to ask the question. “How’s your mouth?”

“It hurts.” He bites his lip as tears trickle.

You drop your spoon and scoot your chair closer to his. You ask him to sit up straight and drink water. Once he’s done that, drinking as much (or as little) as he can tolerate, you gently press his face into your shoulder. Tears collect on your skin, but you keep him close and encourage him to let it out.

And he does. His chest caves with every sob he's locked away for two months. His arms wrap around your waist, the first time he's touched you since he’s been home, apart from the delightfully suffocating hug you trapped each other in when he was released. And for a moment, you’re hit with the reality that the Spencer you’re holding has changed. His survival instincts are still active, you're just now noticing it.

You still hold him as he heaves. You rub his back to let him know you’re still here, but you stare at the blank wall in front of you. Your head is spinning, running through therapists to call and books to read that could help you. To help Spencer. Because that’s what he needs.

Spencer pulls away for a minute to look over his soup.

“It’s still there.” You say, and wipe his tears with your thumbs. “No one’s taking it, I promise.”

“It’s going to get cold.”

“I’ll heat it up again, don’t worry.”

Spencer looks down at you as you hold his face. The dark circles around his reddened eyes were prominent, and you brushed the mess of curls off his forehead. Tiredness isn’t enough. He’s scared. From what he’s seen or become, you don’t know. But his stubble pokes your skin and you realize that you don’t know what to do. As you look at the man you love, you wonder how much you can do to help. You hope you can help.

[storiesofsvu]

Decadent Desires Ch 11

Emily Prentiss x fem!reader warnings: language, alcohol, smut, dirty talk. okay y'all apologies I thought life was going upwards and it was going to be super easy to power through a ton of writing but when life throws one bad thing at you beware there will likely be two more coming with it. UGH. I'm going to try to focus on this series for the rest of the week, we'll see how that goes! Thank y'all for sticking around and being wonderful!

Emily was a firm believer in a few things, and putting in over a hundred percent effort when the world was aligning you with a crap day was one of them. If she came to work with a hangover, she worked hard and did her job even better, knowing it was self inflicted and her own fault. On days when she was feeling more run down, exhausted or if she was starting to get sick, she put more effort in. Spent a little bit more time on hair and make up, made sure to wear the right kind of clothes. As much as it would be nice to wear something cozy and lean into the exhaustion, it always made her feel worse. The ‘you look tired’ comments, her complaining about a headache or stuffy nose digging her further into the pity party hole. If she looked her best, she felt better about it, the compliments during the day would help boost her mood and by the time she was clocking out she was re energized.

It was partially that, and her wanting to keep up with the fiery spark that had been launched the previous weekend that led to her decision. Sharing Jackie with you, watching the pleasure you got out of giving another woman pleasure and in a situation where she could actually watch rather than be focused on trying to remember how to breathe. It was utterly enthralling and invigorating and she was more than ready to fully embrace that level of spiciness on a more regular basis. After all, that’s what this type of situation was for, you’d said it yourself, exploration and discovering new things was the highlight of having this dynamic.

So when Emily got dressed that evening, she opted for a more fitted pant suit, leaving just enough to imagination and then reached to the back of her closet. She’d worn the red bodice top a handful of times over the years and it was a trusted favourite, fitting her like a glove, semi sheer lace between the boning, and intricate patterns over her chest with the perfect amount of cleavage pushed up. Even slightly shielded by her blazer it was enough to make anyone take a second glance and the smirk was present on her lips when you all about lost your breath when you laid eyes on her that night, stumbling over your words as you tried to limit the amount of compliments you gave her before you were even seated.

Emily had chosen to mix things up a little bit tonight, enjoy some new scenery outside of the Waldorf, opting to have dinner around the corner at Mastro’s Steakhouse instead. In between moments of conversation and trying not to ogle Emily you had managed to order starter cocktails and get some recommendations from your server before finally willing yourself to look through the menu.

“How do they expect me to choose between the filet and the lamb?” You muttered, chewing on your lip as you read through the enticing descriptions.

“Just get both.” Emily suggested with a shrug and you glanced up to her with a crinkled brow.

“That’s so much food! Not to mention the cost.”

“Cost isn’t a concern.” She replied, a grin on her lips, “eat a bit of each and take the rest to go, quality leftovers.”

Your gaze drifted off to a nearby table, eyeing their plates while you thought it over, “they would be far superior to the leftover pizza in my fridge….”

“Then it’s settled.”

You let out a small breath, a smile creeping onto your cheeks, “do you know what you’re getting?”

“I was leaning toward the lobster tail.” She glanced over at you, “sides?”

“Mac and cheese or scalloped potatoes?”

“Both.”

“Don’t we need a vegetable in there?”

“Last time I checked potato was a vegetable.” Emily replied with a grin and you laughed before agreeing with her.

Meals were ordered and delivered before you knew it, too full from the rich foods you both opted out of dessert, only to be convinced by the server to take some to go. You took your time to finish your cocktails, Emily swiping the bill before you even had a chance to try and look at it. You said a quiet thank you to her, pressing a gentle kiss to her cheek as you gathered your take out bags and made your way out of the restaurant. It was still warm enough outside that you hadn’t bothered with a jacket, summer still clinging to the city, the heat lingering in the night air when you stepped out into it.

Instinctively, your arm slid into Emily’s, her hand finding yours, intertwining your fingers as you made your way through the streets. She let out a soft hum, eyes flickering up to the skyline and part of her wished you could see more stars inside the city, she was lost in her thoughts a moment later, only faintly aware of your hand in hers as you guided her. If it wasn’t for the physical connection and sudden jolt when you stopped in your steps she easily would have walked into the road without looking.

“Hey…” you squeezed at her hand gently, “you alright tonight? You’ve been pretty quiet, kinda off…”

“Yeah.” Emily sighed softly, giving you a small smile as she shook out of it, “I’m just tired and it’s been a pretty long week. I think all this extra running around the city is taking it out of me a bit more than usual.” She didn’t really want to admit being worn down, she certainly hadn’t planned on it but she guessed her walls had slipped down more than she’d meant for them to and you picked up on it before she even realized.

You let out a small laugh, “you know the entire reason we went the direction we did with our agreement was to not have any extra stress or exhaustion, right? We didn’t want to make your to do list any longer or more tedious than it already was. These dates don’t have to be weekly either, remember, I’m not dependant on the money. If you ever want to cancel or skip a week or two I get it, you can stay home and veg out, taking time for yourself and resting is important.”

“I know,” she started, feeling a warmth moving through her knowing that you wanted to make sure she was taking care of herself, even if she wasn’t doing it on her own, “and it’s not just that, work exhaustion is different, I figured I still had enough energy leftover for dinner and I would hate to cancel.”

“Just know you’re allowed to, even last minute. If I already happen to be here I’ll order some room service on your account and call it a night.” You replied with a slight tease, nudging at her side when the light changed so you could cross the street.

“I was looking forward to it, honestly and I do really enjoy spending time with you. It’s such a huge relief to hang out with a fresh face, someone who isn’t part of my team yet still understands the politics of it all.” She let out a breath, nearly muttering the last part to herself, “I guess I kind of just miss my bed…”

You chuckled, “you’re telling me your bed is comfier than the Waldorf? What else have you been hiding from me Agent Prentiss?” You prodded at her side and she huffed, rolling her eyes, “I’m kidding. I get it. Especially with your job, you’re off travelling all week and when you finally do get home you just want to be surrounded by your own things. There’s a comfort and relief about being in your own home and safe space and there’s nothing else like it.”

Emily hummed in recognition, not entirely sure where to go from there or if the conversation was done entirely. She supposed it was, you’d simply asked if she was alright and she thought she’d given an adequate answer, though as you moved down the sidewalk it appeared it only sparked more questions in her brain.

“Can I ask something?”

“Of course.” You glanced to her, a welcoming smile on your face.

“Aside from like, the original safety thing, not wanting to let a near stranger know where you live… why hotels?” She watched for a moment as your head titled, your eyes narrowing as you thought and you shrugged.

“A lot of sugar….” You struggled to find the right phrase, “pairings have outside relationships, either one of them or both. A lot are married, open or not sometimes you never really know.”

“So it’s about the secrecy?”

“To a point.” You nodded, “most of the time having a sugar baby is their way to have a little secret life, it’s fulfilling a fantasy that they wouldn’t be able to achieve in any other way. Living the high life, fancy hotels, expensive dinners, lavish vacations, yacht parties, flying first class or private, it’s all about showing off. Hence why a lot of the babies embrace the look and personality of a hot young bimbo, that’s what the Wall Street guys want to show off to their so-called friends while railing lines of coke with a spare hundred dollar bill.”

“So-called friends?” She asked with a grin and you laughed.

“The ones who don’t care that you’re dangling along some barely self respecting girl to all the weekend parties when your wife is at home with the kids going to the country club with the friends of yours that would rat you out.”

“Ah.” She grimaced and you laughed again.

“They’re not all like that though, some of them just want to experience a little thrill, have a little fun on the weekends. They use hotels cause they’re attempting to create the life they wish they could live all the time; they’ve got a surplus of money because they live modestly otherwise. They might be living in a bare bones, affordable apartment where they cook the same dinner every night before repeating the mundane task of putting on an ill fitted suit and crunching numbers all day. They don’t want their sugar babies to see that because it kills the vibe, shatters the illusion if you will. It’s like.. the separation of fantasy and reality, ya know?”

“Makes sense.” She nodded, letting out a soft sigh as she stalled when you came to the entrance of the hotel. “Feel.. completely free to say no to this, because I know it might be awkward or off putting, but is there any chance you’d be comfortable just coming back to my place? Who cares about the fantasy?”

“You already mentioned waterfront views, I know your place has to be nice.” You teased and she nearly rolled her eyes, biting back a laugh.

“I’m just so sick of not sleeping in my bed right now and honestly,” her voice softened not wanting to be overheard, “lugging toys around the city has become a major pain in my ass. I almost grabbed the wrong go back for work this week and I don’t even want to think about what the ramifications of that would be.”

You let out a laugh, a smile taking over your cheeks as you shook your head at her before leaning in to peck her cheek, “I’m totally fine with that.”

Emily let out a breath she wasn’t aware she had been holding, looking up to you with an almost shy smile, “thanks. Did you want to leave your car here or follow me?”

“I actually took an Uber.”

“Perfect.” Squeezing at your hand softly she redirected the two of you away from the pedestrian entrance to the Waldorf, heading in the direction of the valet instead.

*

Emily unlocked the door to her apartment, guiding you into the entry way and telling you to make yourself comfortable while she locked the door behind herself. The small entry hall lead into a nice kitchen, island facing the open living and dining room combo complete with gorgeous hard wood flooring and stunning floor to ceiling windows.

You stepped out of your shoes, leaving them on the mat at the end of the short hallway, moving through the space as you admired it. There were a handful of case files on the dining table, Emily’s glasses sitting beside them, a blanket strewn over the back of the couch and multiple mugs scattered around the coffee table. Your hand absentmindedly trailed over the back of one of the living room chairs as the view out the windows truly caught your attention. It looked like there was a wraparound balcony, the perfect place to admire the skyline over the river and you could only imagine how stunning the sunsets must be.

Behind you, Emily had tucked the leftovers in the fridge, pulling down a couple of wine glasses after selecting a bottle from the rack. She was about to ask if you were okay with red or if you wanted something else when she glanced over her shoulder, eyes catching you peering out the windows. Something about the way the moonlight cast over your skin, catching the shiny decals in your dress made her completely forget the wine as she remembered her original intentions for tonight. The bottle left abandoned on the counter, she slipped her blazer off, draping it over the back of a chair, fully revealing the bodice as she padded through the room, approaching your back. A hand gently landed on your waist as the other brushed your hair off the back of your neck before Emily’s lips hit the tender skin.

“You like the view?” She murmured, smiling at the way your head easily lolled to the side to give her more access.

“It’s gorgeous.”

Her lips met your skin again, leaving a trail of kisses up it until she nipped at your earlobe, her hands squeezing around your waist. You relaxed into her, a small puff of breath leaving your lips when her teeth sunk into your neck.

“You know, for someone who wanted to skip the hotel, you certainly are eager to get to the bedroom…”

She chuckled against your skin, leaving kisses across the column of your neck and back of your shoulders in between her words when she spoke again.

“That was the plan…show off the place… get you comfortable… have a glass of wine or two… relax…” her teeth pulled at your earlobe again, “but now?” She nudged her nose into your cheek, turning your face back to the windows and with the low light from over the stove there was a faint reflection of both of you in the glass. “Seeing you in front of these windows… I kind of want to fuck you up against them. Let the whole city see how gorgeous you are when you come.”

You let out a quiet moan as her lips pressed into the crook of your neck, her fingers slipping under the straps of your dress, letting them fall over your shoulders. She grabbed your waist again, pulling you tightly flush to her and ground her hips into your ass. Your breath caught in your throat, a surprised gasp escaping your lips as your eyes flew open again, catching her gaze in the window.

“Have you been strapped this whole time?”

She kissed the back of your shoulder, lips twitching up into a grin, “I like to be prepared.” Emily’s finger curled under your chin, turning your face so she could press a kiss to your lips before guiding you to turn around fully to face her. Her hands found the hem of your dress, toying with it, “feel like we should get rid of this.” In one swift movement it was off over your head, dropped to the ground completely forgotten, leaving you in just a pair of barely there panties. “Now… how about you get on your knees for me, hmm?”

Emily reached behind her, grabbing a cushion from the couch to drop at her feet as you did as you were told, bracing your knees on the pillow as you gazed back up to her. Her fingers trailed down your face, cupping your cheek softly as her thumb traced the outline of your lips and you couldn’t help but part them. Her thumb easily slid into your mouth and you were quick to wrap your lips around it, sucking it deeper into your mouth.

“Good girl.” She praised, pulling it out, watching the way your eager eyes followed her hands to her belt, “I want you to touch yourself, get that pussy nice and wet for me while you suck my cock, alright?”

“Yes.” You nodded, bracing up on your knees while she undid her pants, opening them far enough to pull out the toy, stroking it a few times before guiding the tip of it toward your mouth.

Your lips wrapped around the head of her cock, slowly sinking down onto it until it had completely disappeared into your mouth. Your tongue swiveled around it, coating it with your saliva as you slowly pulled off of it, letting it pop out of your mouth and you glanced upwards to catch Emily’s eye. Tongue stuck out you licked her from base to tip, your hand wrapping around it, stroking it to smear the spit around, making sure it was covered in wetness. Your other hand came to rest on her thigh, creeping upwards and she tsk’d at you, her hand wrapping around your wrist.

“What did I say, princess?”

Your hand retreated back to your own body, sinking down it and slipping into your underwear, the tip of Emily’s cock resting on your stuck out tongue as you did so. When your fingers hit your clit you slowly began rubbing at it, a small moan leaving your lips as you eyes fluttered shut.

“That’s it.” She cooed, “that’s my good girl.”

Her hand wrapped around the base of the toy, pushing it deeper into your mouth while your lips wrapped around it again. Your body began rocking in tandem to the pace of her hips, grinding down onto your hand as you continued to sink her cock into the back of your throat. She could hear your whimpers and whines getting louder and more frequent, muffled by the toy in your mouth as you continued to play with your clit. Driving her cock deep into your mouth, she let out a soft groan as the base of the toy pressed against her, your breath hot on her skin.

“You take me so well.” She praised, her hand cupping the side of your face, thumb stroking at your cheek as you let her cock drop from your mouth with a gasp. Your body shuddered, thighs squeezing together as you let out a whimper and she chuckled. “I know princess, it’s hard to multitask, isn’t it?”

“Fuck…” you muttered, leaning toward her again but her finger tapped your chin, signalling to shut your mouth.

“How wet is that little pussy of yours? Let me see.”

You slid your fingertips through your folds, gathering up your juices before pulling your hand out of your panties and lifting it up. Emily’s hand wrapped around your wrist, examining the way your fingers glistened in the moonlight before tugging your arm gently and you nearly scrambled to your feet. Your eyes widened when her lips wrapped around your fingers, a moan coming from her throat as her eyes shut for a moment.

“Always so sweet.”

“Thank you.” You murmured, your chest practically heaving in anticipation, watching as a dark gleam took over Emily’s eyes.

“Turn around,” she twirled her fingers and you did as she asked, “brace yourself on the glass.”

Taking a couple of steps forward your hands met the cool glass, a shiver running through your body as you looked out over the city. Emily’s fingers tugged your thong down your legs and as you kicked it off you couldn’t help but shiver again, feeling entirely exposed. You knew no one could see you at this height, but the thrill of being completely bare pressed up against the glass while Emily was still dressed sent a thrill through you, your cunt pulsing already.

Behind you, Emily crouched down, her hands sliding up the back of your thighs, spreading your legs, thumbs sliding up your pussy, smearing your juices. She let out an appreciative hum before leaning in, tongue lapping through you and you gasped. Her mouth wrapped around you, sucking your juices, getting a better taste of you before standing upright again, an arm wrapping around your waist.

“You’re so wet you’re practically dripping down your thighs.” Her lips met the crook of your neck again, “you must really want to be stuffed with my cock, hm?”

“Oh god, please.”

“Well then I guess it’s a good thing you’re so good to me princess.” Her hand wrapped around her cock, spanking it against your cunt and you shivered in her arms.

“Please Emily…” you whined, “please fuck me.”

The head of her cock nudged at your pussy, a shuddering breath escaping from your throat as she teased you for only a second before plunging it into your cunt. She sunk in halfway before pulling out and sinking back in the rest of the way until her hips met your ass. One of her hands stayed wrapped around your waist, holding you steady while the other braced herself on your hip.

“You like that?”

“Mmhmm.” You nodded furiously as she picked up the pace, cock thrusting deeper into you with each push of her hips, “god.” Your hands scrunched against the glass, aching for something to grab onto, “so fucking deep.”

Emily gave you a particularly sharp thrust, the air in your lungs breaking free in a sudden gasp that morphed into a moan as she hit even deeper inside your pussy. Your body pressing up against the glass, a cold sensation taking over your chest, nipples rubbing the window as heat coiled within you, wafting off Emily’s body behind you. Your pussy was squeezing around her, you could feel and hear your wetness smearing around the toy, noises matching your moans as she fucked you. With each thrust your body rubbed against the glass, nipples hard swollen at the friction as your body ached for more.

“That’s my pretty girl.” Emily husked, her breath hot on your neck as her free hand slid up your back, tangling into your hair and she pulled.

You let out a gasp, nearly whining at the way her fingers tugged at your roots, pulling your head back so she could hear the way your panting was getting louder. Your back arched heavily, hips pushing back towards Emily with each powerful thrust of her hips, ass bouncing when she sank fully into you.

“F-fuuuck!” You cried out, pleasure shooting through your body, “m’close!”

“So fucking hot like this princess.” She groaned, the hand she had wrapped around your waist sunk south, playing with your throbbing clit and you whimpered, your hips faltering as she fucked into you faster. “Come for me, want you to squirt all over my cock.”

It was too hard to get anymore words out, strangled moans and whimpers were all that would leave your throat, your lips wide and eyes scrunched shut. Each time Emily’s cock dragged through you it hit your g-spot and when she pressed your clit harder, your body jumped, a loud cry leaving your lips as your orgasm burst through you. You could feel your pussy clenching down hard around the toy, a gush of juices bursting around it, dribbling down your thighs.

“That’s it baby…” Emily cooed, her hands running up and down your sides as her hips slowed, fucking you through your orgasm, “so fucking good for me.”

Your forehead gently dropped to the window, a small fog forming on the glass from your panting as you began to catch your breath, body still quaking with aftershocks. Emily slipped out of you and you could hear droplets of your juices hitting the floor, dripping from your cunt and her cock. A gentle kiss was placed between your shoulder blades, hands squeezing at your waist making sure you were okay before the warmth of her body briefly disappeared from behind you.

A dishtowel hit the floor and an arm wrapped around your waist, tugging you to collapse down on the couch. Somewhere in there a shirt was pulled over your head, a blanket pulled up around the two of you as Emily wrapped around your back. You could feel her now bare legs on yours, the lace of her bodice softly scratching at your skin.

Your eyes fluttered open, a soft sigh leaving your lips as you took in the skyscape outside the windows, glittering stars in the horizon. Emily’s arm loosely hung around your waist and your hand found hers, giving it a soft squeeze before tickling up and down her arm, tracing patterns on her soft skin. In return she left a kiss on the back of your shoulder. You weren’t sure just how long you stayed like that, watching the night sky before Emily finally spoke.

“Did you want to stay? Or should I call a car?”

You let out a happy sigh, rolling over to face her, “I’m pretty sure there’s dessert in those take out bags and I remember hearing something about a bottle of Bordeaux.”

She chuckled softly, happy to extend the night even further, “you’re not wrong on either of those accounts.”

__________________

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[dduane]

Of parsnips and parsnip soup

So the question of parsnips, and particularly parsnip soup, came up secondary to this quote from an interview with Terry Pratchett. (Thanks to @captainfantasticalright for the transcription.)

Terry: “You can usually bet, and I’m sure Neil Gaiman would say the same thing, that, uh, if I go into a bookstore to do a signing and someone presents me with three books, the chances are that one of them is going to be a very battered copy of Good Omens; and it will smell as if it’s been dropped in parsnip soup or something in and it’s gone fluffy and crinkly around the edges and they’ll admit that it’s the fourth copy they’ve bought”.

And when @petermorwood saw this, he immediately reblogged it and added four recipes for parsnip soup.

These kind of surprised some folks, as not everybody knew that parsnips were an actual thing: or if they were, what they looked like or were useful for.

The vegetable may well be better known on this side of the Atlantic. (And I have to confess that as a New Yorker and Manhattanite, with access to both great outdoor food markets and some of the best grocery stores in the world, I don't think that parsnips ever came up on my personal radar while I was living there.) So I thought I'd take a moment to lay out some basics for those who'd like to get to know the vegetable better.

The parsnip's Linnaean/botanical name is Pastinaca sativa, and in the culinary mode it's been around for a long time. It's native to Eurasia, and is a relative to parsley and carrots (with which it's frequently paired in the UK and Ireland). The Romans cultivated it, and it spread all over the place from there. Travelers who passed through our own neck of the woods before the introduction of the potato noted that "the Irish do feed much upon parsnips", and in the local diet it filled a lot of the niches that the potato now occupies.

You can do all kinds of things with parsnips. The Wikipedia article says, correctly, that they can be "baked, boiled, pureed, roasted, fried, grilled, or steamed". But probably the commonest food form in which parsnips turn up around here is steamed or simmered with carrots and then mashed with them: so that you can buy carrot-and-parsnip mash, ready-made, in most of our local grocery chains.

It also has to be mentioned that most Irish kids have had this stuff foisted on them at one point or another, and a lot of them hate it. (@petermorwood would be one.) I find it hard to blame anybody for this opinion, as one of the parsnip's great selling points—its spicy, almost peppery quality—gets almost completely wiped out by the carrot's more dominant flavor and sweetness.

Roasting parsnips, though, is another matter entirely. They roast really well. And parsnip soups are another story entirely, as it's possible to build a soup that will emphasize the parsnip's virtues.

So, to add to Peter's collection, here's one I made earlier—like yesterday afternoon, stopping the cooking sort of halfway and finishing it up today.

I was thinking in a vague medioregnic-food way about a soup with roasted bacon in it, but not with potatoes (as those have been disallowed from the Middle Kingdoms for reasons discussed elsewhere. Tl;dr: it's Sean Astin's fault). And finally I thought, "Okay, if we're going to roast some pork belly or back bacon, then why not save some energy and roast some parsnips too? The browned skins'll help keep them from going to mush in the soup."

So: first find your parsnips. I used four of them. You peel them with a potato peeler...

...sort of roughly quarter them, the long way...

...then chop them in half the short way, toss them in a bowl with some oil—olive oil, in this case—spread them on a baking sheet, and season them with pepper, coarse salt, and some chile flakes. (I used ancho and bird's-eye chile flakes here.)

These then went into the oven for about half an hour, and came out like this.

While that was going on, I got a block of ready-cooked Polish snack bacon out of the freezer.

On its home turf, this is the kind of thing that turns up (among other ways) sliced very thin on afternoon-snack plates, with cheeses and breads. But we like to score it and roast it to sweat some of the fat out, and then use it in soups and stews and so forth.

So I scored this chunk on most of its sides, browned it in a skillet, then shoved the skillet into the oven for twenty minutes or so. Here's the bacon after it was done.

While it was cooking, I made about a liter of soup stock from a couple of stock cubes. If you can get pork stock cubes, they'd be best for this, but beef works fine.

This then went into the pot and was brought up to just-boiling while the bacon and the parsnips were chopped into more or less bite-sized chunks. After that, the meat and veg were added to the pot and the whole business was left to simmer for a couple of hours while I went off to do some line editing.

Finally I turned it off and left it on the stove overnight (our kitchen is quite cool, it was in no bacteriological danger from being left out this way) and then finished its simmering time around lunchtime today.

And here it is. (...Or was. It was very nice.)

...Anyway, this is only one of potentially thousands of takes on parsnip soup. Recipes for more robust versions—based on mashed parsnips and more vegetables, or different meats—are all over the place.

Meanwhile, as regards how much damage this soup could do to your copy of Good Omens if you dropped yours in it, I'd rate this at about 5 damage points out of 10. ...Call it 5.5 if you factor in the chiles. Soups along the boiled-and-mashed-parsnip spectrum would probably inflict damage more in the 7.50-8.0 range. But your results may vary: so I'll leave you all to your own experimentation.

[mimeparadox]

If there’s one complaint I can get behind when it comes to this season of Doctor Who, it is that it has not done especially well by Ruby.

It’s not, strictly speaking, that we haven’t learned things about her.

She’s got abandonment issues, stemming from being left behind by her mother, and also, more subtextually, from being part of a family unit with many foster children who come and go. 

She has an extremely close relationship with her mother.

She’s had impactful interactions with some of her mom’s significant others (“The Devil’s Chord”).

She’s a musician.

She enjoys the cosplay element of traveling with the Doctor (“The Devil’s Chord”, “Rogue”), but will step out of character without compunction (“Rogue”).   

Her dynamic with the Doctor is “best friend to hang out with.” 

She’s adjacent to multiple queer communities, if not necessarily queer herself.

She speaks her mind in a way that is unconcerned with other peoples’ egos (“73 Yards”, “Rogue”.)

She can think on her feet (activating battle mode in “Rogue”).

She can remain calm and courteous even when being insulted ("73 Yards", “Dot and Bubble”). 

She’s persistent and can play the long game, to the point of sacrificing others to do so. (“73 Yards”).

She can handle permanently life-altering hardships—at least those relating to loneliness and abandonment—without losing the ability to take care of herself. (“73 Yards”).

She does not appear to have any specific or defined ambitions (“Church on Ruby Road”, “73 Yards”.)

In theory, there’s enough here to build a character around, but I don’t feel this is what has happened. So far, the season is missing a sense that all of these things build up to a cohesive person, or that these qualities exist in order to tell a specific story. While it is possible for her to be written out of character, it feels much more difficult to write her in character in ways that don't make her come off as "generic companion". And, so, we’ve had episodes where she’s a bystander even when she’s ostensibly the focus (“The Legend of Ruby Sunday”), and episodes when she suddenly turns into someone else (“Boom,” where Moffat writes her as Clara, but under the circumstances it’s hard to fault him for doing so).

And this is all especially odd, given that most of the season has been written by Davies, who, if he can do something at all, is be able to define a character. It speaks to a season that, while quite enjoyable in terms of individual episodes, has been somewhat lacking in the meat-and-potatoes of character development. "Boom" had Ruby largely reacting to a single situation before temporarily dying; "Dot and Bubble" is largely the same, except for the dying bit. "73 Yards", I feel, came too early for audiences to really appreciate the specifics of how Ruby dealt with her situation, and the structure of the episode by definition requires some rather broad strokes. As mentioned "The Legend of Ruby Sunday" gives her shockingly little to do. Even "Rogue", the most meat-and-potatoes episode of the season, fails to take full advantage of the opportunities the story and its themes present. Individually, this wouldn't be a problem. Collectively, though...

Not being abreast of the details shared about the next season, my current fear is that this is all we get of Ruby, and that she'll be written off in this episode or the next without ever having the opportunity to truly shine. And that would be a damn shame. While I have issues with the writing, I really do like Ruby, and adore all the things Millie Gibson has done with the character, and wish we could have more of those alongside with the things that made previous companions truly shine.

[dangermousie]

This is so deeply URGH!!! People dump a lot on Ye Hua (from Three Lives) over Susu's eyes but I was never one of them because Ye Hua, during that part of the story, was operating from position of desperate powerlessness - his creep grandpa had absolute power and would happily murder Susu with extreme prejudice if he and Su Jin weren't satisfied with measures taken in response to Su Jin's supposed injury. I mean, I get why for others it's no go, but it didn't bother me. But the thing here is Gu Jin or whatever nifty god name he's got now, at the peak of power. He's the Top Dog, the Boss, the Big Potato. And yet here he is. He said he didn't want to be like his father; I didn't watch ALP but he's acting very much like that - and the thing is, it would be one thing if it was a choice between a woman he loved or the universe; here it wouldn't just be harmful, it would actually be USEFUL to actually listen and find out wtf is going on so as to make sure there is no hidden danger.

This is just...I have no idea if it's true or if he's pretending but either of these options makes him a horrible choice for her, ugh. (Side note - why does everyone blame Yin for Daze Mountain calamity? Daze Mountain fell because it took on the brunt of Jin's calamity that HE INCURRED by bargaining to bring back phoenix queen whose spirit HE wrecked. Yin had nothing to do with him getting a calamity and thus the Daze thing. It's YOUR fault, young man! YOURS.)

This is where I lost my mind and not in a good way. They took all the qualities that made Jin such a rare xianxia hero - common sense, practicality, belief in people he knows are trustworthy, and destroyed it. Where is the man who believed Yin with no evidence because he knows her so he knows he wouldn't lie? Seriously, the evidence is her character, which he KNOWS! The fact that he goes for a looksee later to check doesn't make it much better btw because then WHY not tell her that, why act like a tool or a whole toolshed?

If his concern for pointless appearances is a new mark of Godhood, he was better off without, when he had none.

I do love a good grovel but only when I still want the couple together (see me in eps 7-8 of Derailment or once again, Ye Hua from 3 lives), ie when I can get why a character acts like a maniac and won't be repeated but here I don't really care for the grovel at all because his character makes no sense but also what's the guarantee he won't behave like this in the future? In both Derailment and 3 Lives, it's pretty clear that once a premise changes (he calms down and thinks thru the situation or he gets power/realizes how badly it can turn out), ML can be a functional bf. Here, the dude randomly became gaslighter central and he's got all the power already, none of this is changing.

[eerna]

So was it any good? tbosas I mean

Well,,,,,,,,, kind of? I had fun, but also went in knowing they won't pay attention to what I loved about the book so my expectations were properly low. TBOSAS is my fav THG book so a different adaptation exists in my head

Non-spoilery: The movie is divided in parts like the book, but there is no rhyme or reason why, no dramatic breaks or changes like in the books. The Reaping isn't on July 4th because of course. Tom Blyth as Coriolanus was a surprise because I expected nothing from him other than looking sort of like old Snow. The movie naturally removed any and all nuance from his character and kept spelling out everything, but there were a few scenes where they let him yknow, act out how his character is supposed to feel, and it was really good! Rachel Zegler as Lucy Gray was more of a mixed bag - sometimes she was fantastic in selling the over-the-top dramatic flare, but other times (especially towards the beginning) it was just weird. I firmly believe this is because the movie didn't fully commit to Lucy Gray as a charming crowd director who keeps her heart hidden and instead made her a more honestly vulnerable girl. She dazzled in musical numbers, though, that girl is a performer through and through! Viola Davis was bad I am so sorry but I felt like I was watching a Disney Channel performance and it's entirely the movie's fault and not hers. Peter Dinklage was super good as Dean Highbottom, he makes him all sad and lost without being over-the-top. The rest of the cast was also good. I loved the sets and the costumes, very in-line with what I'd imagined. The night/dark scenes were so dark that subtitles felt like they were burning into my eyes, it was the absolute worst quality dark scenes I've ever seen in a big movie.

Spoilery:

They removed Coriolanus' obsessive love for Lucy Gray and turned it sooo muted :(((( He didn't even want to kiss her before the Games! He didn't try to control her or feel jealousy or ANYTHING that could imply he might turn on her one day!! His emotional changes and impatience and politeness and selfish kindness are also all gone now. Sejanus and he aren't nearly as close as in the book, but there was this funny moment where the two of them had a more intense forehead touch moment than any Coriolanus shared with Lucy Gray and it made me chuckle. Tigris and Coriolanus were very very well done, I loved how she was always his first bestie!!! But I am sort of annoyed they turned it from "Tigris puts Coriolanus down for the way he treats others" to "Tigris is scared Coriolanus will become his dad". Lucy Gray's Reaping was absolutely horrible, she threw a singing fit instead of being a confident performer, so it makes no sense that she just flips a switch into untouchable after. Loved the snake charmer climax where everyone stands up for Lucy Gray and proves that Capitol needs a victor! It worked better for the movie than the book version, and the way the music exists as a meta instrumental scene where the score eventually catches up to her singing - THAT is how ALL her songs should have been treated!!! The way music worked was one of my biggest issues, sometimes they were totally off tonally from what their role was in the books (The Ballad of Lucy Gray Baird this is about YOU Maiah Wynne's version makes me sob to this day while the movie version is only saved by Rachel's passion) and only the snake song was properly utilized as a plot point. They were such good opportunities for exposition that is more subtle than just putting whatever is Coriolanus feeling in clunky dialogue. And the clunky dialogue WAS constantly used to make up for the amount of internal monologues, even if it made zero sense -at the end they literally had Lucy Gray say "Haha if you destroyed the guns and killed me you could go to District 2 no sweat hahahaha anyway I'll go get some potatoes bye" like what. In what world would she literally tell him that. She is supposed to be a smart survivor. They also put "it's things we love most" quote as the final line in the movie, and I can't describe what a stupid choice that was, because if it wasn't there the movie would go "Highbottom tells Coriolanus he won't be able to forget Lucy Gray-> Coriolanus' proud exit where he believes to be the victor as snow falls down -> Can't Catch Me Now end credits including the snow motif", which would have been SO much stronger since that song delivers the "Lucy Gray eventually caught up to Coriolanus" message and we don't get it spelled out like we're 5 years old. It's not the only part of the movie where references to the OG stick out like a sore thumb, and I am once again asking Why. Why don't you think your audience is smart enough to understand.

[morelikeravenbore]

It's been a hot minnie since I took any photos because I got insecure about my potato quality graphics card when everyone else's screenshots are PRISTINE but I really love writing little scenarios to go with them, so...

Here's Sebby busting Aura out of detention (which was his fault, by the way.) And of course, he brought Ominis along as his lookout hahaabahaa

[pinesprings]

Gosh that big russian guy on the USS Endurance took me TWO DAYS to kill because the stupid timed event did not want to acknowledge that i pressed F. You know what was at fault? I lowered the graphics quality and got it second try after that. MY FRICKING POTATO GRAPHICS CARD. I was about to throw hands!!

At least it was supremely cathartic when i managed to kill him. Had Lara step un on his corpse for good measure

[jeanmoreaux]

why did you dislike ses4? and was there anything you enjoyed recently?

oh boy. i think it would be easier to tell you what i DID like about the season. i can count it on one hand. (1) ruby. she's my queen. (2) adam making it explicitly clear that he identifies with the bi label. (3) gillian anderson. she's just soooooo ugh. i love her. (4) NONE OF THE BAD BITCHES CHOOSING OTIS. maeve and ruby both deserve better fr. (5) aimee reclaiming some agency. cannot even think of a sixth thing. that's how bad this season did not worked for me. i said i was not gonna rant but i guess now i am gonna rant a little (trying to keep it short for both of our sakes).

i think there is definitely some more technical and objective stuff that's wrong and with this season and then there is some stuff i personally didn't like but that may work for other people.

objectively, i think the writing was severely lacking in quality. it was SO LAZY. even uninspired. the plot was meandering and the arcs fell extremely flat as a consequence. they randomly introduced interesting internal and external conflicts, sometimes even towards the end of the season, that could have spanned the entire eight episodes, but then they often just drop those ideas like hot potatoes—sometimes by the next episode, sometimes by THE NEXT SCENE (e.g. otis basically taking over a surrogate parent role or feeling like losing his mom, basically everything ruby-centric that wasn't oatis-related, jackson questioning his sexuality, etc.)!! other storylines that didn't have to last for several epsiodes (like jackson's cancer scare) went on for way too long. and the storylines they kept up for several episodes were mostly half-assed. the vivian & beau thing was surface level at most (and rushed af), the ace thing was soooo buried and shoved aside for stupider plotlines (they did o so dirty istfg), same with their approach to adding to the discourse on disability/accessibility, the exploration of jean's sister dealing with her abuse was just almost non-existent, eric's storyline reconciling his sexual and religious identities relied an cheap gimmicks, maeve finding her voice as a writer, jean's postnatal depression (how half-assed that was truly hurt my psych major brain), etc..... and then they dragged these storylines out without giving them any *substance*. like. i SKIPPED two episodes and missed NOTHING (i even did go back to jump through it just now to verify and, yup, did not miss a piece of information i did not gain or infer from the episodes i watched). you know a story is aimlessly wandering around when people can skip 2h of content and not even miss a shrivel of character development. i'd claim almost all storylines and arcs were handled badly. the only one that was well-structured and well-executed (from a storytelling standpoint) was the groff family arc (mind you, not the individual arcs but their arc as a family). AND I DON'T EVEN AGREE WITH THAT STORYLINE FROM AN IDEOLOGICAL STANDPOINT BUT STILL I LIKED IT THE MOST BECAUSE WRITING WISE IT WAS AT LEAST COMPETENTLY HANDLED!!!! like, that's so unfortunate. for me. and don't even get me started on the tonal dissonance WHITIN scenes and BETWEEN scenes. it was so so jarring at times and made the humour NOT land AT ALL (especially the physical humour because holyyy shit what was that). idk if that's editing's fault or if the writers made these decisions or if the producers and executives are to blame, but the inconsistency of mood and tone just really made me feel disconnected from the emotional moment. felt absolutely nothing about what was happening to these characters.

on a more personal level, i took issues with the way they wrote some characters and the content of some arcs. they really reduced maeve's character to nothing (like. i am sorry but her dialogue is so flat and boring, the most meaningful thing she said all season was probably at her mom's funeral.) otis literally learned jackshit. he's still kind of a self-absorbed dick. o was so underutilised and disrespected (they didn't even try to make the ace thing an important plotline). aimee was turned into a grotesque parody of herself. eric's story focusing on religion was HELL to me personally. like, i grew up catholic (which is different to the christianity eric practices but still...), and ngl the way they handled his 'religious' awakening just sent me up the wall. as a queer person who was very involved in church life from a young age and had to reconcile her faith with her queer identity, i felt like his story made a mockery of that struggle and that inner conflict. the visions were ridiculous. it felt like the writers were making fun of the struggle queer people face when (1) wanting to meaningfully engage with faith and religion *OR* (2) wanting to distance themselves from organised religion. additionally it felt like they were making fun of religion & religious faith as a whole, depicting it as this almost psychotic thing to believe in god. and they completely decoupled eric's personal journey to faith from what religion primarily is about for many, many people: community and connection. like, sure, they briefly brushed it i theory, but neglected to real get into the emotional reality and complexity of it. they very much glossed over the fact that religious communities are a source for moral/ethical and social control and even when you disagree with some aspects of the doctrine you will still be affected by it if you grew up in those circles. and your personal reckoning with religion will probably be more tied to THAT (the fear of losing love/support/part of your social circle, ostracisation (because even when you're okay with who you are right from the start it's something that doesn't feel good even when you prepare for it....), feeling disconnected from your former self, struggling to build your own belief system that you feel lie it truly belongs to you etc.). his entire journey was lacking any nuance and complexity in my opinion. and maybe that's because i personally had a different experience reconciling my faith with my sexual identity. i wasn't a self-hating queer either, but breaking away from religion still was a change in my life that impacted me very real and convoluted ways!!! (also like let's be real him becoming a pastor is gonna solve what exactly??? go through the homophobic system to change the homophobic system??? HUH with what power??? you're better of starting a new church fr.) idk. another thing that bugged me was the lack of chemistry in intimate scenes. like. jo and i watched these scenes and. nothing. the lack of chemistry really made me so uncomfortable. it almost made me question if i really do like sex lol. ALSO WHYYYY did they force the aimee and isaac relationship for no reason???? that really didn't have to have to happen. not that i hate it, it's whatever, but i was just so BORING to me. same with the otis and maeve thing. THEY WERE SO BORING. their drama this season was so repetitive and reminiscent of earlier conflicts between them it made me want to rip my hair out. i think i stopped caring about them as a couple after season 2. they don't fit and they don't work yet still the writers were trying to make them a thing for no reason. i could go on but this is already longer than i wanted it to be (yikes). i just want you to know that this season did so many things so badly i ended up not caring about ANYTHING that happened or ANY of the characters (except ruby). they could have all just disappeared and i wouldn't have cared one bit because they were all giving NOTHING. so basically, the season felt like this meme to me, but with a heavy, all-permeating, very petty & derogatory undertone:

okay so now for the things i did watch and enjoy recently (i assume you mean movies/tv shows because i my monthly wrap ups cover my reading). there are quite a few things, actually! ofc i watched barbie which was fun, and oppenheimer which was Very Good. oh, and i watched and liked set it up, and my brother sat me down and made me watch the two spider verse movies with him which i enjoyed a lot as well! my other brother made me watch the new puss in boots (liked that one, too). i also watched the first couple of episodes of the bear and i am very intrigued (gonna continue for sure)!! also finished glow a couple of month ago which was quite good but sadly prematurely cancelled. other than that i have been mostly rewatching stuff tbh (recently e.g. fleabag, schitt's creek, atla, succession, and the occasional movies like p&p 2005, emma 2020. also been in the mood for a rewatch of god's own country & the ghibli movies.). other than that, the movies/tv shows i reblog stuff from are generally things i enjoyed in the past (or at least partly enjoyed). idk there's a lot on my 'to watch list' but i am only making my way through it super slowly jhghjgjhjgjh

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | Terrifier 2 (Leone, 2022)

I was not a fan of the first movie, whose cruelty I found a bit much to take despite thinking it was competent enough as far as modern slashers go, but I decided to give this a look given the fairly ecstatic reactions from my Letterboxd circle. And having seen it, I'm ready to throw my hands up in the air and admit that I don't get it. I found this overlong and lacking in any real grace notes, and as a result it might be my least favourite thing I've sat through in quite some time.

I see a lot of reviews praising it for its ambition, but is that just the runtime? Having a two and a half hour slasher seems maddening in concept (ninety minutes is the perfect runtime for these things), but I'm not sure the movie ever uses this runtime to its benefit. For all the narrative ideas here, none of them feel expansive or divorced enough from the movie's influences to have much novelty. There's no added scope to full up that runtime. Just more of the same. Just endless scenes of Art the Clown doing some insufferable epic mugging before brutally murdering and mutilating his victims in agonizing detail. (The mugging isn't just limited to Art; there's a pretty excruciating dream sequence as well.) While I generally think watching movies at faster speeds is idiotic, this is one case where I can sympathize with the impulse, as this feels like a ninety minute movie playing in slow motion.

In theory I'm the target audience for this, as I love violent horror movies and likely enjoy a lot of the same movies the filmmakers do. But with every gore gag, while I suspect most viewers might be impressed with the audacity of the bodily destruction being depicted, I found myself muttering "Seems a little excessive." So I found myself feeling disconnected from the majority of horror fans, as what appeals to me about splatter movies is less the extremity of the splatter itself but the way the splatter is delivered. The elaborate colour schemes and camera moves of Dario Argento, or the way Lucio Fulci will set up a thick fog of dread and pierce through it with a scene of horrific violence so that it carries a sledgehammer impact. I can't fault the quality of the special effects here, which depict acts of mutilation and dismemberment that stretch the physical possibilities of what can be done to the human body. But the presentation of these scenes is monotonous, Art mugging for endless minutes, taking apart his victims' bodies, all shot in uninspired compositions and a hideous colour scheme. (I found this movie extremely unpleasant to look at for different reasons than the filmmakers intended.) Perhaps if the movie brought a viewpoint to this violence other than "check out how cool this looks!" I might have gotten something more out of it, but especially at this runtime, I found the effect numbing more than anything else.

As for Art, I found him an effective villain in the first one, but after this, I'd be happy to never look at his stupid fucking face ever again. In the shorter runtime, I found him creepy enough, but here, I think it becomes clear how manufactured a presence he is, something too obviously designed to really unsettle. There's a found quality to some of the creepiest slasher villains, something tossed off, simple enough to be both plausible and needle into your subconscious. Look at Michael Myers with his William Shatner mask or Jason in the second Friday the 13th with his potato sack. Total blank slates. Body language defined purely by their capacity for murder. Look at Freddie Krueger in the original Nightmare on Elm Street and the way he feels like a collection of disconnected horrific sensations. Then compare them to Art the Clown and his overly detailed makeup and costuming, his elaborate physical gestures. I know which one I find creepier.

[bennusimurgh]

Flour of choice

The author walks in a circle listening to the advertising before he can continue a phone dialogue with a friend. 

A little child's voice said: - The saga continues through a 1999 episode, a serial drama, 'The Worm Assassins'. They have invaded our planet, decimating forests, polluting the oceans with refuse, and disrupting our management systems, leading to unchecked waste discharge. They possess the capability to infect humans, bending them to their will. In episode 1900, a new breed emerges, their origins still unknown. These newcomers reproduce via spores, akin to fungi.

The man's voice continues the sentence. 

- The greatest minds have yet to reach a consensus - are they a menace or a salvation? Yet, we continue to coexist and communicate with them...

Humanity stands on the precipice of an environmental, emotional, and physical catastrophe... A short pause and a third voice add the advertising information 

-Don't miss the new episodes of this gripping series from 8PO Corporation, exclusively on Subconscious TV. Premium users can enjoy the content without any dirtiness commercial interruptions...



Advertising is finished and they can continue a dialogue

- Blast it, they're even inserting advertisements into the dialogue now. I understand the need for graphics, I can even tolerate beer cans in a Viking series. The name 'Barbarian' is acceptable, but why in the conversation?

- Oh come on, it was just a voice-over. Remember when they showed an advertisement for men's sanitary pads? I mean, I understand hygiene and all, but it's a movie about the Stone Age, for heaven's sake!

- It's not my fault. I wrote a script about Neanderthals, they're the ones who adapted it.

- I know, I'm not blaming you. Just thinking out loud about where the world is heading...

- I understand that, but I still felt the need to explain.

- In this series, I try to insert good brands so they don't have to pay these profiteers.

- You're treading on thin ice, you know. They're the ones paying you.

- Yes, but 669 credits for a soul? Have they put a price on that now?

- There you go again, of course, attention costs money. And some souls might be worth much more...

- Agreed, the quality of a soul is far more valuable than its wrapper. But still, how much do you think they sold us for?

- Everyone sold themselves for what they wanted. I'm heading to the Shshs, if anything the signal will rfffvvy- shshsh start to blacKed up...

- No problem. Come over in the evening if you have time.

- I need to check the clnrshry BEEEP. Krxhvvyvv was empty tomorrow. Tlk to you later shhhhh

- Okay…

The creator of the idea paces around his home office, reading lines off his tablet... He's already worn a certain symbol into the floor, though he doesn't realize it yet. He still needs to come up with twenty-four episodes and think about the ending at the same time.

"There has to be some meaning, there has to be some meaning," he mutters to himself.

"Here I am, talking to myself again... well, at least I'll stick to the point. The stakeholders don't seem to be pressuring me, just expressing a little dissatisfaction," he acknowledges aloud. "Only one of them contributed 44 billion, what's there to complain about? The others sponsor as they can. One of them, oddly enough, brought a sack of potatoes in addition to the money, and another one brought rice. I wonder what that's about..."

He approaches a large table littered with papers. It all looks quite chaotic, but there's a certain order to it.

"After all, people like my series, so I have to keep going..."

"Why all the intrigue? Doesn't anyone want to know how it all ends, what it's all for?" he breaks off suddenly.

He sits down on his once luxurious sofa, looks at the fountain that was meant to be a disco, glances at the billiard room...

"Yes... it was all supposed to end differently," the author continues to think aloud.

"I had originally planned the idea for only thirty-three episodes, and they told me to keep writing because I was doing well. But what should I write about?"

A phone call interrupted his train of thought. He picked up a call from an unknown number, and they greeted him with, "Hello, here's some unnecessary information about some unnecessary information for you..."

---- "Thank goodness for reflexes," he thought, instantly realizing it was a robocall and hanging up.

"So, they've extended it by another 24 episodes and I still need to come up with an ending. It's so hard to keep pushing back what was supposed to happen in the 34th episode... Well, I'll go ask someone who might know how it all ends," he said, taking a sip of a strange liquid, and then went to lie down in the sarcophagus.

"Yes, it's definitely easier to think here," the author mused. "It's not the same as in a hammock, but it has its own charm. The ending will be just right."

[lionews]

Sorry for the shitty screenshot quality, but here is a nice little reason why I hate 250k+ players, and not only that but adder, A LION, SantaPaws, and all those little tiktok generation players!

So, A LION studs a ferus to me with pennyroyal attached. It takes a bar of energy but as I have used all energy sources already I ask LION to use a chasteberry for just an easier time all around, for both of us. He complains, "ughh i have to get 120SB" so I wait and they do.

I still buy a bone marrow, several fermented marula fruit, a grub, etc.. all to get energy to try on this VLF ferus because he was being incredibly impatient. (Quite literally reminding me that my energy SHOULD BE refilled by now, since it was 10 minutes, which it had not and wouldn't have been enough anyways)

Anyways, I use the energy I have left, the studding finally works, and he says he will IBF but had no nesting material. Said it like: ughh I have no material to nest her :'( So I just sent some over, no biggie. Afterwards it was a 1 cub litter, and a potato cub came out, he continues to say both these things and claim to be quitting until christmas, giving passive aggressive comments the entire time in main chat. Apparently, its "my fault."

I do not want to deal with you guys, and I tried being nice and actually accepting a stud request for you regardless of past experiences and interactions with you, but obviously it was a mistake.

.

[baekim]

adorable yultae for anon ♡´･ᴗ･`♡