#the real reason that it feels like i have a lot of online drama is extremely Online Brained ex-partners who have variously attempted

[lhazaar]

sometimes i feel like i have a lot of online drama and then i remember i've been on this site since 2011 and never had a callout post written about me that wasn't done as part of a bit so i must be doing SOMETHING right

[campyvillain]

Recently I learned that Squimpus, the creator of the FNAF VHS series on Youtube, is a groomer. I say “is” because this is not an accusation. The reason I learned this to begin with is because they outright confirmed it in a group chat I was in. They used to be my best friend, and they kept all of this hidden from their other immediate friends for years. They befriended me as a minor, fully aware of their history of being inappropriate towards minors, and though they did not make any advances on me, I feel disgusted having ever known them all the same. At that time, there was no way I, or anyone else, could ever have known of the evil they were committing. As someone who knew them for a long time, I can confirm all of this is real. I will never be associated with them ever again, I will not allow them to linger in my life any longer. I mean it when I say they deserve to lose everything. Spread this post like wildfire. The public needs to know about this.

Here’s a link to my extended statement about this. Here’s a link to the proof in the form of a video, presenting all of the incriminating information against them as corroborated by immediate friends of theirs and the anonymous victim. Again, this is all real. We’ve been gathering info on this for multiple days now. If there’d be anyone to know if this was real or not, it’d be me.

Do not make any attempt to contact anyone involved in this situation, including me. Do not try to find out who the victim is, they have been kept anonymous for their own safety and privacy. Do not sensationalize this as some sort of drama or make it into a joke or a meme. We know they were an influential figure online so this is going to draw a lot of attention and there’s no way we can control the way people respond to this, but we all just want this to be over so we can move on with our lives. Give everyone affected by this the space and patience they need in a time like this. This is a god damn nightmare.

Thank you for your support.

[d1s1ntegrated]

hiiiii!!

so this feels kind of random and maybe a little ooc but i keep imagining shiggy as like a streamer (playing obviously league of legends but also like valorant, overwatch, fortnite, etc etc)

but could i possibly get some streamer shigaraki hcs pls and thank youu ♡

also i saw your post about emoji anons and id like to formally request that i can claim this emoji; 🧸 thank you for all your amazingly handcrafted beautiful posts!!!

ooouuuu yassss. i also love to hc shiggy as a streamer idc if its ooc!

also yes ofc ! 🧸is all urs bby <3

streamer!shigaraki hcs ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ̀ˋ

[■■■■■■■■■□] 90%

it started as a joke, he didnt think anyone would really watch

but followers and viewers SKYROCKETED so fast, he was kinda overwhelmed at first

mostly streams LoL, but loves switching between diff games throught the stream (OVW, apex, valorant, fortnite)

but for some reason, he hates COD. HATES IT. if chat even mentions it he screams

he gets banned regularly for "random shit" aka trying to beef with the 12 year old's in chat, accidentally smoking on cam, etc

has absolutely no filter, just plays the game the same way he would if he were alone, which gives him one hell of a reputation online

chat goes WILD when he ties his hair back, cause usually its in his face

does a lot of 12-24 hour streams bc he cant sleep

streams at the most random and inconvenient times, like 4pm or 3am.

that being said he has no set schedule. he usually just hops online whenever.

loves bantering with chat, he thinks its so funny

"blueflame says... "this man needs chapstick lolz"

"well fuck you blueflame, you need a loving family and some bitches, but i guess both of us are fucked, hm?"

went through a huge minecraft phase and ended up creating a small cult following from it

which he abhors. like fucking hates it bc of all the drama in the minecraft community-he doesn't like to be associated with them.

calls his fans rats/bugs/etc.

goes on long-ass adhd rambles about random shit a LOT

"chat, chat watch this, gonna get this fucker"

*dies*

"chat. i am going to scream."

this man has 0 social awareness or media etiquette

like he's actually disgusting on stream it can be a hard watch at times. especially if he's eating cause he doesnt gaf about being "polite"

listens to a lot of hyperpop/metal/game osts in the background but has gotten in trouble for copyright lol

does dumbass dances in his chair if he wins a round

when everyone realized he wore gloves to game, he got sent a BUNCH of new ones, with different patterns and materials (he shows them all off) (his fav ones are the creeper-themed ones tho :3)

has "horror nights" where he'll stay up and play shit like fnaf, slender, closing shift, and other indie horror games

he played facade once but immediately removed the game from his pc (very dramatically) after trip denied his request to "kiss it sloppy style".

chat regularly begs him to play roblox but he always ignores it

even though he HAS it downloaded.

"chat what the fuck is skibidi ohio"

always drinking some form of energy drink no matter what time it is

"someone in chat said im cute. go touch grass"

has a discord server that he does in fact own and mod. but only lets certain people join (he does have a tier system after a while)

[■■■■■■■■■] 100%

ugh gamer streamer shiggy is so Real to me...and so cute...i need him viciously

thank u for the request, 🧸!

[wannabanauthor]

For those of us who started watching 9-1-1 again or for the first time because of the BuckTommy kiss, you are valid for wanting to watch the show only for that. It might help to look up summaries of what happened on the wiki to get a better feels for the characters to help in your shipping experience, but it’s also okay if you only watch BuckTommy scenes.

You’re allowed to enjoy fictional media in whatever way you want that’s not illegal. There are no gold medals given out for how you watch it. At all. You’re allowed to like what you like and discard the rest for whatever reason.

Me personally, I cannot emotionally handle all the drama in the show. I watched S1 and most of S2, and it was so heavy that I looked up to see if a pairing would happen and saw that it didn’t, so I quit the show because it was not worth emotional rollercoaster it put me on.

I work in mental health in my real life, and I have seen so many horrifying things in charts that I do not need to seek out emotionally traumatizing fiction outside my designated PMS days where I let my emotions run free.

Seriously though. I’ve been struggling with feeling like not a real fan of the show, but then I realized that it doesn’t matter. I’m not here to impress online strangers who definitely don’t sign my paychecks or pay my bills. I do that on my own, so I don’t give a fuck how people perceive me as a fan.

I’m 32 years old, and I have experienced a lot of loss in my life over the past 11 years. So many deaths of loved ones and funerals. Let’s not even discuss the performance punishment at my previous job that stressed me out so much that I was ready to leave this earth twice, and my parents had to intervene to talk me down. My mom, my former work mom, and stepmom all got cancer a few years ago, like one after the other, and survived. Do you really think that I need to watch the entire show and know all the details to be a proper fan? Especially with how heavy 9-1-1 can be?

So for my fellow fans and shippers of BuckTommy, enjoy the show however you want. There’s no right or wrong way to watch a show. Engaging in fandom however, is a different thing all together. But it’s perfectly fine to ship what you ship and ignore everything else. I’ve done it with several shows. Hell, some shows got my attention because of ships, and I stayed after the show went downhill because of the ships, but then eventually stopped watching. Or most of the time I quit when I see my ship sinking because I’ve been there when my ships had one character killed in a triggering way that relates to their marginalized status, and that has led me to have real life emotional breakdowns.

So take care of your mental health, and watch shows for whatever reason you want. People might judge you or look down on you, but that’s their fucking problem. Not yours. Why are they so obsessed with you anyway?

Have a wonderful weekend, folks, and remember the block button is there for a reason.

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/748370073567313920/i-think-for-me-one-of-the-big-stumbling-blocks-i

People in the replies are jumping to a lot of really obnoxious conclusions about anon that really just ultimately illustrate anon’s point.

There’s all this stuff that is *assuming* anon is pro censorship when they never say anything like that (and in fact, i thought they suggested the opposite). They’re talking about how sex positivity and anti-anti attitudes get weaponized or misused in some fandom spaces to make people feel like it’s wrong for them to be squeamish and want to *personally* avoid men who are really vocal about their love of lolicon and slavery isekai, because guys who are that vocal about it have in their experience, tended to have that reflect real world attitudes.

I think it’s good to point out that plenty of people like these things privately and you’ll never know, and it’s the being super vocal about it around uninterested people that’s the red flag here. But people just assuming that anon holds every attitude they associate with some stereotypical anti, and that their message indicates some thinking to BE CAREFUL! about… really just proves their point that a lot of people have a bad tendency to only see this in terms of how things work in their particular corner of fandom, and don’t recognize how what can mean one thing in one, primarily female and queer space, doesn’t necessarily translate well to a space with a lot of entitled cis dudes. Assuming that personal discomfort with certain kinds of fiction automatically translates into being pro censorship (what) when that person said nothing else to indicate that, is one such assumption.

(Also one person was trying to suggest it was racist of anon to “single out hentai”… maybe the reason they mentioned hentai is because they’re *specifically* talking about anime fandom?!?)

Idk, it doesn’t help proshippers if we can’t see anything except via the narrow lens of pro vs anti fights on Tumblr and AO3, be able to advocate our positions. We are aware of how fandom blinders can blinker people in the opposite direction—antis who don’t recognize that rhetoric that they think is just all about shipping is also used by right wing activists to advocate banning books and drag shows—but it’s true in both directions.

Being uncomfortable with a lot of “sex positivity” rhetoric because you’ve mostly seen it used to tell you you’re wrong to be uncomfortable with dudes who are super outspoken and pushy about their porn habits is a really common experience for lefty women IME, both outside of fandom and in fandom spaces with more cis dudes. Most women I’ve met like that are vocally anti censorship, it’s about being able to take charge of their personal boundaries and not have them shamed. Proshippers pushing them away by loading more unhelpful and inaccurate judgments on them aren’t helping them and are just shrinking their movement, making it more likely it’ll be dismissed as just “very online fandom drama” (and if you’re that clueless, are they wrong, really?)

Also it’s just helpful to better understand why some people might find your enemies’ arguments more initially compelling than they should be.

--

"Sexual liberation means sex with me specifically" was a plague in the 70s from what I hear, and I'm sure it has been a thing forever.

[violetasteracademic]

I saw a reddit post a while back talking about how “obvious” gwynriel is, with hundreds of upvotes and everyone agreeing, saying that it’s exactly how SJM sets up her love interests, and it makes me feel like a crazy person.

I agree that SJM is obvious with her couples, but for me the only logical obvious answer is elriel. The entire time I was reading the series it couldn’t have been more obvious, and all my irl friends feel the same. We didn’t even know gwynriel was a thing. They barely interact in the books, and even then it’s only vaguely friendly and mostly one-sided. Then I get online and see all of these people who genuinely believe it’s gwynriel that’ll be endgame and I can’t understand how we’ve read the same books.

This is the only reason I question elriel at all; am I somehow missing something? What the hell are these people seeing that overshadows elriel’s foreshadowing? I just can’t see it from their point of view, no matter how many theories or analyzing I read from them. I almost wished I could so that this ship war wouldn’t be so frustrating, but I just can’t.

Sorry to throw this rant at you, your posts and explanations are just very comforting and you explain things so well. I read them whenever I’m worried to assure myself I’m not crazy :,)

Hi sweet anon!

I certainly don't think you are crazy or missing anything, and I'm glad to know that some of my posts have brought you comfort. That is my one and only goal.

I've been getting more and more messages like this in my inbox, and I've been struggling with how to answer them because I've learned that a lot of my thoughts don't really fit in with the fandom at large. I don't mind that other ships exist. I have real life G/wynriel and E/lucien friends that are very chill and wonderful and not knee deep in the online fandom and don't think horrific misogynistic things. I stay out of spaces where I'm bound to see something hurtful, and I scroll so fuckin fast when I see the Elriel community screenshotting and reblogging bad takes cause I *don't wanna see it.*

I'm just a girl, and while I'm honored that this little weirdo's opinion has become of some value in this little comfy cafe corner I'm trying to build here, I don't want to say the wrong thing and make people feel discredited and invalidated. I've learned that people really like being in the drama and venting and focusing on how badly the other side is behaving, which I don't really like, and it often leaves me at odds with my own "side" of the war. But since you are here in my asks, I'll share my thoughts. Please know I am saying this with all the tender love and care in my heart, but I say:

Just let them exist. You don't need to understand. You also don't need to let it worry you. None of us are in control of the ships that are sailing in this war. So for whatever it is worth, I want to encourage you to try to stay away from the spaces that make you feel upset, confused, hurt, or angry.

We are all honestly similar in ways that might be hard to admit. If we are here, deep into this fandom, we are probably connected in a number of ways. Maybe we're a little bit lonely (me), a little bit mentally ill (me), a little bit hyper-fixated (me). Maybe we are easily consumed and obsessed, and don't have anywhere for that energy to go in our real lives and so we live on in a chronic state of escape and disassociation (yep, me).

We are also an exceptionally small percentage of SJM's readership, and we take things as far as a fan could possibly take them. This is not how most readers are interacting with her work. So to see hundreds of upvotes on something, even thousands, yes- it seems like a lot. But it's not actually that much in terms of SJM's actual numbers. Anyone on reddit, tumblr, tiktok, ect, is looking for community and people who share their thoughts and likes and dislikes. I think this is often why a lot of non canon ships actually grow more popular than canon ships, because people are here looking for a road the written story will not take them down.

I don't think it's strange or offensive or unhinged that ships other than Azriel or Elain exist and are popular. I *do* think its a little odd that this fandom has taken the stance of proving non-canon things as canon instead of just enjoying crackships, but I can't honestly sit here and say my posts proving "canon" to try to comfort people who want the same fictional couple as me is not the exact same behavior. I think I'm right. They think they are right. There will come a day when Sarah lets us know what she has decided, and it's out of our hands. But the ships will live on.

I love so many non canon ships, and I engage with them here every day. This is what fandom is for. I think this fandom in particular would be a lot less toxic if we would just live and let live and leave each other be. I am gonna keep making theory posts and writing fanfic. They are gonna keep making theory posts and writing fanfic.

Take care of yourself. Rock the block button. Strangers on the internet do not get unfettered access to me or you or anyone else just because we are online. Set some boundaries for yourself. Lurk where you feel good.

I hope my page continues to be one of those places where you can lurk to feel better. And if that ever changes, block me. I encourage it deeply. I actually feel relieved when I can see that someone has blocked me, because I know they are taking care of themselves and also saved me the time and energy of trying to diffuse an argument.

I hear your frustrations. I know it sucks to want to go on reddit if that has been a fun and comforting space for you, and now it feels overrun and not safe and not fun. Grieve that. We obviously all care very deeply, and that's okay. It's nothing at all to be ashamed of.

But at some point, we are all gonna have to learn to live with each other, because no matter what happens in canon, the ships are not going anywhere.

Take care of yourself, anon. And I hope you continue to find comforting spaces to rest.

[coolingrosa]

Survivors guilt within yourself (Online edition)

This may be TMI and too much dumping bout my life, but I think it’s important to talk about, especially with so many young artists looking to make it big online.

I have this weird feeling towards stepping away from the internet.

I’m not saying this is me leaving, as I never want to stop making content. However, I have definitely drifted from the online life style including discord conversations, tiktok drama, constant YouTube posts, etc.

Why? Well, I want to make a YouTube video about this one day, but to boil it down: The internet was my coping mechanism for many years.

Now that I’m out of my abusive household, I can actually STATE now publicly how I was living in a mentally and physically abusive environment for all my eighteen years of existing. Just to brush the top of it as I won’t dive too deep (that’s for a future YouTube video), but I want to give some context as to what I was dealing with: I lived in a household where my brother was a diagnosed sociopath, my father was a narcissist, and the family members around were passive to the abuse my sister, brother, and I faced. These disorders do NOT automatically make you a bad person, evident by how though my brother was not a good role model and was disruptive to my development, he was a better father figure to me than my own father and shielded my sister and I from the brunt of the abuse for many years until he moved out. However, my father is a substance abuser as well, as with this disorder, such things do not mix well. I will not go any further about the abuse besides the fact that I draw my sona with body scars for a reason. They were not self inflicted and never were, even though some assume they are. Anyone in similar environments knows how desperate you are to find a way out. My way out was online. From the ages of eleven to seventeen, I became cripplingly dependent on online life. All my friends were online. I consumed content daily to distract from my life outside my room. All was okay and stable for a bit until I began posting at fourteen.

At first, posting was very simple. I’d come home from school and draw something quick and send it on its way. However, as time went on, the attachment to online life- to my online persona- became addictive. I began posting everyday. My only focus and drawing attempts were at tiktoks or YouTube videos. I became so absorbed with likes and comments and creating content that I began to slip away from the small number of real life friends I had, until I blinked and realized that they were all gone.

I was sixteen when this hit, and it only pushed me to get more absorbed into my content, especially when I got back into Undertale.

The worst times in my life were covered up by spam posting on my TikTok- five videos in one day that hid the pain and suffering I was trying to bury. All my friends became online, and I preferred being called Rosa than my real name. I was addicted. I could never be seen without a device to draw on, to post on, or to talk on. If I didn’t have a device, I was forced to confront the reality of my living situation, and I didn’t want to do that.

This began crumbling, though, when my online life began to feel unsafe as well. Many things happened at once that made it terrifying to even look at my phone. The turmoil from losing this safe space I had spent years indulging in was soul crushing, and though it sounds silly to be so upset over losing the comfort of the internet, it was life shattering. It forced me to confront everything I had been ignoring. It forced me to be alive.

Now that I’m in college, I’ve been offline a lot, and the weird sense of survivor guilt I have towards my fifteen year old self is strange. It feels like that young girl is inside me and angry at me for leaving behind a old comfort of mine- something that was so dear- something that defined who I was and for a very long time was the only thing keeping me here.

I survived. And I have other ways to cope. And the guilt of finding those things and people is strong. But I’m happy that I found it. Though fifteen year old me is angry, I’m happy.

So…why do I say all this? Why pour my heart out after stating that my closeness to online life is what made me blind to my real life?

Because I know there are people out there who were or are thinking like me.

Building a platform for yourself is an incredible feat, and I’m forever grateful for all my followers and supporters, but creating my account is also my biggest regret. I want to say to young creators starting out to find a balance. Don’t let the numbers define you. Don’t let who you are online dictate who you are in real life. Don’t forget there even IS a real life. What happens online is minuscule to the joys of going outside and breathing in the air. Seeing the trees sway in the breeze. Though being online can be an escape, it can also be a trap. Don’t fall too deep, because when your able to swim out to safety in the future, it’ll be harder to breach the surface.

So, if I don’t post as often- if I don’t reply to comments or dms as often- it’s not me leaving or being hateful. I’m finally living. I’m breathing and allowing myself to crawl out of the rut I’ve been rotting in for years now. I’m finally alive.

So for me, take a walk outside today without your phone. Remember what it’s like to be human. It sounds silly, but I think many of us forget what it’s like to live as we did as kids. Before the internet was popularized, and walking down the street of your neighborhood was just another Saturday afternoon.

[stranger-opinions]

maybe it's not a writers-block; maybe you just need a break

creativity is a muscle, right?

you need to exercise it to keep it in good shape, to have it ready when you need it and don't we all love those hyperfocused sprints of writing where the words just spill out of our fingertips...

but muscles get sore when you overuse them, will strain when you force them past their limits, they need nourishment to stay healthy and in shape

fandom today has a competitive atmosphere. many wouldn't admit that; it's supposed to be fun after all. just vibing with our mutuals, playing with the blorbos having a fun time online to scratch a few itches.

but the truth is that it can become a lot of pressure rather fast.

putting out several k of (edited) writing a month, setting up painstakingly formatted posts with the right tags and a fun header we spent hours on to look effortlessly cool and eye-catching just to hit post and then feel... nervous. excited too, sure...

but damn, when will the next chapter be finished? or the next one shot? will there be enough time to put a few blubs in between so that the few people who actually seem to care won't forget about us and move on?

writing for writing's sake is a nice notion. the myth of the self-sustaining artist who needs nothing more than a passion and their tools of choice.

but shit isn't just created out of nothing.

what has that all to do with the title of this post do you ask?

very few people can just keep going and going making art like that without needing any breaks and a good portion of those people very likely have very different conditions than most of us have with full-time jobs, families, school and so on.

For many of us writing is a main outlet, an important hobby and a safe space but that still doesn't change that it is a creative hobby, an outlet that demands energy: emotional, mental and physical (typing for hours is hard work if you want to believe it or not) and that sometimes makes it impossible to accept that we just need a fucking break.

"writers-block", in my own experience, is my brain telling me that something is off and that it's on strike until I fucking fix that.

and sometimes it's just that I need a break.

that I need to recharge my creative batteries, take in things that inspire me, that make me happy and get me excited without having to make anything myself. to just be. take some walks amongst trees, watch a new series, read a new book, go into a deep dive of some random topic on wikipedia until I don't know where the fuck I started from.

sometimes I just need to log out, cut the overstimulation of a never ending dashboard, turn off what everybody else on tumblr is doing, how much everbody is putting out, get away from my frustration about "my flopped fic" or the latest fandom drama and reconnect with the real reason I am doing this.

the love for stories and the source material.

for some people those breaks can be as short as two days, for other is might be weeks or months and that is not only okay but totally normal.

sometimes you might realize that the reason you are not writing is that you actually don't want to. sometimes you just want to daydream without the extra work sometimes you're just not in a writing mood and it's not much deeper than that.

that doesn't have to mean you're done with your blorbos. it just means that there are more valid and fun ways to play with them.

don't worry, the fandom will still be there when you decide to pick up the keyboard again. maybe with less people, maybe with many different people but you will always find someone who cares. those who have moved on to different things not come back wouldn't likely have stayed if you had powered through.

fandom shouldn't be a you're in or you're out thing but a place you come to when you want to.

contentification of fandom has had a lot of negative effects on the way we create and so many people fade from their hobby because they simply burn themselves out to a point where it leaves a scar.

so. find something that makes you happy that does not require you to invest too much creational energy. rest those muscles as long as it takes.

nothing you can get on tumblr or ao3 is worth the sore brain, the frustration with yourself and the stress you add onto your mental health ontop of everything else in your life.

recharge, reevaluate, reconnect

have fun

[autismasgore]

i'm leaving the fandom

so i already posted about this on twitter with a shorter explanation but after a long while of being in the undertale fandom, i've decided to distance myself from it. i'm not sure if i'll ever make a public return on any of these accounts, but for now i've decided that i feel this is what's best for me mentally.

i'm kind of surprised i haven't already, to be honest, but i guess for a good while i was able to focus on the passion and love i had for the game. nowadays, i've been finding it harder and harder to interact with the fandom as a whole - for a multitude of reasons really.

many of you are already aware i went through a stalking incident over asgore discourse, which lasted from late 2019 to 2023. it was the most traumatizing years of my life, and i don't even remember a time where i actually felt at peace with myself during those years. the only time i remember being happy was pouring all of my focus onto undertale even harder, just to try and cope with what was going on. it didn't help that at the time, my abusive family was blaming me for being stalked and telling me i was just doing this all for attention and that i loved the "drama" of it.

i really didn't want to do this, because it feels like such a huge betrayal of everything i've loved for so long (hi, i'm autistic and undertale was my special interest, in case you haven't noticed yet LOL) but at this point i associate too many traumatic memories with undertale, specifically the fandom.

since getting more into steven universe and browsing the fandom casually it made me realise just how toxic the undertale fandom is as a community right now. i mean, let's be real, it's always been this way, but i feel like it's gotten a whole lot more worse lately - more insane.

it honestly felt like such a huge breath of fresh air to go into a fandom tag that Didn't have any toxic sludge or people discoursing about liking certain characters (cough Asgore cough) and whether or not that makes you a bad person. it felt like total whiplash, seeing people discussing a show they liked and sharing fanart instead of seeing constant discourse about it.

i've also been seeing a lot of my friends go through absolute fucking bullshit lately, and it's honestly really stressful because it felt like my stalker incident was becoming a more popularized and public sentiment in the fandom. which... honestly is scary to me. people are becoming more openly hostile, more openly insane with their accusations. i've been trying to remain hopeful and optimistic about the fandom, but the more things that have happened, the less hopeful i feel.

i don't want to be in this sort of community. i don't want to be in a community where people feel glee in hurting others, tearing other people down and slinging around serious accusations because it makes them feel powerful.

i want to be in a community/fandom that makes me feel actual joy, and not a constant source of stress.

there's also another reason why i decided to distance myself online rn as well, and it's not really related, but it was enough that i feel incredibly uncomfortable going by the name "pixie" rn.

last year, a youtuber i knew decided to put me on blast and straight up called me an abuse apologist and that i should be avoided at all costs, all bc i quietly distanced myself from posting publicly about the situation and decided to avoid jumping to conclusions.

i don't entirely blame them, since there's definitely things i feel i could have done better, but a lot of what they said was already privately resolved between us, and they left a lot of that out in order to paint a false narrative about me. i mean they literally had saved hundreds of deleted posts from my deleted old social media accounts. i know this because they've done this before with other people. i also know that this comes from a place of hurt and anger, they're lashing out at a community they felt hurt by, but their way of coping with it isn't healthy.

because they had thousands of followers, i started getting a ton of harassment, from people saying i wasn't trustworthy and calling me an abuse apologist, and even private nasty dms i don't really want to get into.

i didn't say anything at the time bc i was worried i'd come across as attention seeking/manipulative but. i became straight up actively suicidal after this. i was convinced nothing was going to ever get better for me and that i was an active danger to everyone. my mum ended up dragging me all the way to the city literally just to buy me the macbook i wanted in order to try and cheer me up, and even then i felt so depressed that i felt like i didn't have anything to look forward to. honestly the only thing that really kept me going was my friends privately supporting me.

to put it short, it felt like a repeat of my stalker situation and i don't feel comfortable going by pixie anymore because i associate so much trauma with that name right now. i feel like so many people who don't have good faith intentions know me as that name, more than people i'm friends with.

i don't even know if i'll ever post on social media ever again, or at least not in the way i used to. if i do end up making a new social media with a new rebrand, you won't hear from me about it. i want to be more private now.

tl;dr if you're still reading this, thank you for sticking by me for so long. this ended up being a lot longer than i anticipated, but i think i'm done with the name "pixie", and i think i'm done with the undertale fandom for now.

i know i'll be able to move on into a better place once i move forward to this chapter.

thanks for the memories.

[glade-constellation]

We try to stay away from interacting with drama, as it can be very stressful on us, but yesterday’s TSAMS episode was genuinely upsetting and it’s something I feel needs to be talked about.

TW for alcoholism and suicide, do not continue reading if you feel you cannot handle these topics!!!

(I would like to state that I am not just throwing my opinion around. These are both topics I have dealt with in my life, either from someone I know or myself. I have personal experience with these issues. These opinions are based off of real events in my life that I had to go through.)

Let’s start with how the episode was set up. The thumbnail is funny, the title is obviously mean to get people’s attention. Looks like a normal TSAMS episode where Miku does some weird shit and leaves. Starts out pretty funny. Sun randomly is being given a child and Miku is trying to get him to pull some friends to lovers speedrun that is failing.

There are no TWs on screen anywhere that potentially triggering topics were about to be discussed. They just started talking about alcoholism and suicide.

They made it look like a completely normal episode and gave no warnings that heavy topics would be discussed. They used a joke video to talk about things such as alcoholism and suicide.

That is 100% not how you handle a situation like this. The VAs all have social media, and are in the TSBS discord server. If they were having a problem with people forcing their headcanons to be made canon, they have the ability to use these online platforms and talk about these situations as adults. Literally a kind PSA to the fandom would have done the trick.

“Hey TSAMS Community! We just wanted to give you all a quick reminder that, while headcanons are nice to have, they aren’t factual to the canon. Bullying and harassing others because they don’t agree with you is bad etiquette, and creates an unsafe space with in the fandom. Please be considerate to others around you, even if have different opinions!”

Post that on their social medias and boom. You don’t have to make an entire episode to explain one quick fix! Not a single TW needed! When you are an online content creator with a decent sized fan base, you have to step up and be able to handle situations in an adult way. Using a roleplay YouTube video was just not the way to handle this situation.

Now, Miku is supposed to represent the TSAMS community. Sun was representing the TSAMS staff. When Sun was talking to Miku, it was really the VAs of the show harshly criticizing the audience for having opinions. This is a disgusting way of treating your fans, especially with the topics being talked about. Like I said earlier, you need to be able to be the adult in the situation. You need to treat your fans with respect or they will stop watching your show.

Next, the topics of alcoholism and suicide. With the way the situation was presented, it could definitely be read as Sun becoming an alcoholic. A bottle of wine every day after having never drank before? To a human, that’s a lot of drinking, and a lot of sudden drinking. Until Sun explained that a bottle to us is a glass to him, it sounded like he was getting drunk every night. That would definitely make him an alcoholic. Even then, small drinks each day can eventually lead into addiction. There was valid reason for the fans to believe he was becoming an alcoholic. If you guys didn’t want your fans to see Sun as an alcoholic, then why even turn it into a possible plot point in the first place? It would have been better to just completely dodge the situation if you didn’t want it happening. “How would we address all the wine bottles in the house?” Easy, it’s sparkling grape juice. It’s a fancy cider. It’s some sort of non-alcoholic beverage packaged as one to make it fancier and cost more/sell better.

The part of the episode that upset me the most was how the handled the talk about suicide. Specifically when Earth and Sun were talking about “there are signs that people show when they are suicidal and Sun wasn’t showing anything”.

Sometimes there are signs. Sometimes it’s obvious when people aren’t okay. But it is 100% incorrect to say that every single person who has contemplated suicide, attempted suicide, or died by suicide showed all of the same exact signs of how they were feeling. Not everyone is going to show the same signs. Some signs are so minor that they don’t look like signs at the time. Sometimes signs are overlooked because people close to the person believe the person will tell them if something is wrong, so obviously nothing is wrong since they haven’t said anything. Sometimes the person who is hurting doesn’t want people to know they’re hurting, and they hide it as best they can so people won’t notice. Yes, there are signs, but those signs are so rarely actually caught and treated because people don’t want to believe another people would ever actually go that far.

Sun is a character we have seen past suicidal tendencies from. Often times, these urges or emotions come back, even is situations that don’t seems stressful to others. We as fans were being told that a character with past suicidal tendencies was showing concerning behavior most would associate with relapse (drinking alcohol, becoming more reclusive, etc.).

Calling your fans crazy and gross for being concerned for someone’s life is disgusting behavior.

Saying that the fans are projecting their own problems and then making fun of them for doing so, especially when what they’re projecting is suicidal tendencies? Downright fucking deplorable.

Once again, all you guys needed to do was actually use your social medias.

“Hey guys, we know you’re all worried about Sun right now. We just want to clear up a few misconceptions. As shown in [list of specific episodes], Sun is not dealing with any sort of mental health issues right now. He’s perfectly fine! Please remember that, while it’s okay to have headcanons, your headcanons are not actual canon and are not something to fight other people over.”

That would have stopped both problems addressed in the video without doing so in a harmful and completely unnecessary way. What you guys did was disrespectful, rude, and insensitive. Especially to your fans that are dealing with these things.

When you want to handle talking about heavier topics, you have to be an adult about it. Especially with the big following that TSAMS has. There are moments where you guys have to step out from behind the characters and straight up address the community.

I’m sure that are still a few minor things about the episode that I could talk about, but these are the main things. The fans had every right to believe what they did with the evidence given. Turning it into content for a joke video was not the way to handle this.

[this-is-chaos-magick]

My (mcu) Wanda Maximoff Headcanons with a Little bit of Pietro, and MCU Cthton

Her favorite Ice Cream flavor is Pistachio

She have a collection of leather boots

She cooks noodles and fried egg at 3 am because she can't sleep

She's obsessed with Antique and Vintage items

Her and Pietro use to be in a band (she plays guitar and Pietro plays the drums)

She doesn't know how to ride a bike (because I can't)

She doesn't like attending big parties and hates large crowds

She owns a flip phone and doesn't have any Social media ( she owns a laptop tho for watching movies and searching stuff online)

She have a tons of cook book and like learning more recipes and cooking technique

She hates how everything have touch screens these days

She Knows a lot about Ancient history and have a tons of books about it

She likes watching Ghibli films and her top 4 Favorites are Porco Rosso (this film is so underated), Spirited Away, My Neighbor totoro and the wind rises

She have a passionate interest in cinema and her favorite director is Guillermo del Toro etc.

She hates people who have uses "ai" she hates people who doesn't care about the art of making, people who who watches movie and not "think" or care, she hates people who consumes media without thinking and analyzing it and who treats different types of art like it's just another product you can throw away once you're "done" with it

She doesn't have a favorite celebrities and can't stand people that are obsessed with famous peoples she thinks it's weird

She might not have a favorite celeb but she likes Al Pacino movies (she have a collection of them) she Likes Pacino too but she's not obsessed with his life

And let's be honest if Wanda is a real person she's one of the people that will hate the mcu

She prefers her steak well done and doesn't care if people tells her that that's the wrong way to cook a steak

She hates the tastes of matcha and Plain milk

Drinks coffee everyday like it's water

She used to work as a Convenience store cashier during her teenage years in sokovia

She hates people who are loud and have no respect of other people's personal space

She likes the peace of not knowing everything, she doesn't care about Celebrity issues, she doesn't care about big award shows and who won and who lost

She likes Dogs and her and Pietro Used to have a pet dog

--[ This part is like how I imagine Wanda got her powers and what is her relationship with Cthton]

[ Ihate the "I am an evil god and I am gonna make you evil things" bullshit it's boring and the "Wanda got her powers from the mind stone thing" I think it's just activate her powers, she got her]

Chthon watches over Wanda as she grew up and he's like....(Don't slap me please) Became like her father figure/weird imaginary best friend, growing up in Wanda's memory he's just a kind oldman/creatures that helps her manage and Cope her with the death of her (adopted) parents but then as time goes by he slowly disappears as she reaches adulthood and also as a child she's experiencing supernatural and paranormal activities she didn't know he is the reason she is seeing things until she became the Scarlet witch... There are so many things I want to say, like, Come on, the potential is there! Just imagine the drama of the Angst and Wanda having a father figure issue!!

She's adopted by her Aunt and Uncle (her and Pietro didn't know)

Her real Mom actually died during childbirth

Wanda's real Mom use to have a lot of nightmares about a horrifying God he have large horns and have tentacles and he's always talking about how her daughter will "reshape" the word

She became paranoid and have a sensitive pregnancy

Days before her due Date (her husband 🧲 is at work and have to take an overnight shift) some Strange men broke into her House (A.w.o.l Sorcerer's from kamar taj that are afraid about Cthton's resurrection) and Threaten her to abort the babies but she refused so she decided to escape into the Forrest while scaping she feel her water broke and she decided to hide in a cave

While she's on Labor she realizes that she got shot and is losing a lot of blood her vision is blurring and she Knows she's dying she can't come out of hiding yet because the men who wants to kill her are outside looking for her so she begs and pray to the god that she's been seeing in her dreams to save her children, she doesn't care that she does but she wants her children to live and he appears infront of her, he is 9ft tall he have no eyes but he knows he's looking at her...she desperately begs to him to save her children and he told her that he won't let Wanda dies and because He have chosen her and he will only heal Pietro because he knows the boy will die anyway

The next Morning People find Wanda's Mother dead body in the cave and they find 2 healthy babies laying next to her

I know you're wondering how I come up with this and idk either it's just one night I am thinking about Wanda's parents and her scarlet witch lore and like...*pop* 😬😬

I am gonna make part 2 because I have too many thoughts about this woman | some of this...maybe it's me projecting to her

(sorry bad English)

[silantryoo]

as much as im annoyed by the potential implications of the mhj/hybe drama i do feel like theres way too much speculation rn ... rlly doesn't sit so well with me that everyone is bashing on mhj alone (im not supporting her either though) and not bang sihyuk too. some hybe stans rlly js worship the guy and idk why . its not like he's innocent too. like those texts from him are so annoying too. abt if she's satisfied that nwjns is so popular and also abt trying to rival aespa / bp alone ...

hybe has sm power and r known for their mediaplay so i rlly do wish people would keep that in mind instead of doing their own speculation to bash on mhj . we don't know fs if she's the reason behind seunghan, youngseo, etc .... it seems so forced that everyone just collectively is making stuff up on their own theories and pissing on her. like im all for it when everything's done with but it's giving misogyny to me ughhh idk how to explain it eitherr without sounding like a mhj stan I PROMISE IM NOT TAKING HER SIDE T_T i just cant help but feel like poeple find it easier to hate and bash on women sometimes. even me scrolling x nowadays feels so annoying. literally feel so bad for illit and nwjns rn.

personally i was a teeny annoyed that illit had a similar image to nwjns w their nostalgia/coquettecore (also though just seems like cute/youthful concept is making a cb in general in kpop) but only because their songs on super real me were the exact type of songs i liked most from nwjns (super shy, hurt etc. the softer less peppy songs compared to hybe boy) so it bothered me that there was an implication that nwjns might be forced to distance itself to a more differing concept to keep some contrast btwn the two ... but ik that's not illit's fault at all (literally love the girls sm im a runext fan ^^) i feel like i can understand the upset that illit was getting a similar concept when every other grp before illit in hybe had more defined concepts seperating each other. but once again that's all hybe's doing ...... seeing the choreographers supporting mhj too makes it seem like not even the nwjns team or even all the staff were on board with the references in the choreo either...

anyways i do hope this controversy doesnt impede on either grps promos :( and i rlly hope everything gets sorted out... im srsly hoping this doesnt turn into a 5050 situtation again but with nwjns i was so upset when that happened . was curious on what your thoughts were or if u were keeping up with everything?

the way im coming back to reply to this first thing after my exams is insane, but this nwjns thing makes me so angry for all the idols under hybe. both parties j cares sm ab money that they're blindsided by the potential of ruining their idols careers, mental health and images. mhj is being stupid and hybe does seem to be doing anything to protect nwjns (as far as we know. i could be wrong).

(yawl, jsyk i obv dont have ALL the information. from what ive seen online and the articles ive read, this is what I THINK. ME. youre free to think smthn else, whether i agree or not.)

i def thing that bang hyung sik (bhs) isn't innocent either. although min heejin (mhj), in my opinion, is more in the wrong j based on the treatment of other idols, bhs seemed to provoke her, and on top of that, the company seems to blindly support ppl and give them a platform so long as they make profit for the company. ive been seeing a lot of ppl saying hes j human but youd think theres a reason why mhj got kicked from sm, yk? and you j took her back in w open arms.

hybe is v good at media play fs. its their forte, and ppl seemed to stray from the from the main problem. mhj is using nwjns as a weapon. hybe probably is doing the same thing w their other groups too, dont get me wrong. ppl seem to forget that this entire issue isnt "drama", its a legal battle ensuing between a huge corporation and its subsidiary. hybe has infinite power compared to ador. its horrible on both ends.

the thing is tho, mhj has consistently been showing the public red flags. the lyrics of 'cookie (ik she didnt write the lyrics but shes the ceo. she got them approved)', the portraits gifted to her of naked underaged girls, her obsession w olivia hussey (who happens to look like minji), her treatment of sm employees, her past work w shinee (sexualization of underaged taemin), etc. not to mention her extremely (at least in my eyes) inappropriate relationship w nwjns. the gifts shes gotten them and how she uses their emotions as a weapon. if bhs did that, everyone would be up in arms.

i dont think (for the most part) this is misogyny. i think ppl alw had a weird feeling about her. at least i did.

idt its good to speculate on ppls departure tho. youre def right ab that. the lsfm hate train (esp the coachella one) most likely has nothing to do w mhj. and i do agree that hybe copied or was at least inspired by nwjns, but idt illit copied them. illit and nwjns have a very 'pinkpantheress' sound, the uk early 00's bedroom pop genre. however, nwjns is more y2k and illit is more dream-like, ykwim? hybe was def inspired by nwjns tho. i think a more fitting one would be tws tbh. their sound is v similar to me (emphasis on to me) than illit.

dont get me wrong, it's incredibly shady and the way that a lot of staff are on her side makes me think that hybe was leeching off of the success of nwjns. it referenced all girl groups under hybe tho, lsfm and fromis, but there was def more nwjns references.

what im worried ab the most are the groups, esp nwjns. lsfm has been going thru their own struggles and rn this isnt the best for them, but theyre not extremely involved in the situation, not like nwjns and illit. illit, from what ive seen, has majority of the success and recognition from overseas. however, their success in korea'll take a huge hit. itll def take a toll on the girls mental, considering they j debuted and this happened.

nwjns is the worst off. theres a chance they might leave w mhj if ador does pull away from hybe, which isnt in the groups best interest. mhj's press conference and overall attitude is gonna affect their upcoming release fs, and their proximity to mhj herself is worrisome.

hybe doesnt seem to be doing shit to protect their artists, they're j protecting their name. theres no statement on or for illit, no statement on malicious comments for any of the groups (that i know of).

tldr: min heejin and hybe are both at fault. dont take sides of either, take the side of the idols.

sorry, im j so passionate ab this. the shit ive been seeing online has been making me mad. after getting back from the lsfm hate train too... as mad as i am at mhj, hybe GAVE her that platform. if the things they claim is true, and if the speculation is true, they alr knew from her past employment that she was shady. its their fault for allowing that.

[daydadahlias]

What’s your stance on the Ashton hate right now?

ok so i've gotten a few asks abt this now and i will concede and answer this one because i love the insinuation here that I can have a stance like I'm a politician or smthn <3 thank u for voting and for this platform <3

I'm also going to take the opportunity to say this is entirely my stance, not what i think everyone should believe or i think is the "right" perspective or blah blah yada yada disclaimer disclaimer. no one come at me saying I'm forcing my beliefs on you. you catch my drift. if you disagree with me, that's your prerogative and i frankly just don't care very much.

that being said <3 lock in for a jessay <3

if we're being entirely honest, I think people in the modern age - especially twitter users - actively seek out reasons to be upset. they crave drama like bees crave honey. especially when it comes to ashton tbh. the man can't breathe right without people claiming he's being problematic so I don't put a lot of stock in general in anyone's opinions of him but my own, especially bc I'm in fandom for my own enjoyment, not for anyone else's !! so it doesn't much matter to me what they think of him. i don't value their opinions!

if you'll notice, fandom is a lot about curating your own special little bubble and here on tumblr, literally no one is talking shit about ashton that i follow. it's literally just on twitter that I've seen any hate because twitter is a cesspool filled with chronically online social justice warrior bullshit :) and there's a reason I'm not on there often.

i think hate like this is just point-blank stupid because, as I've said before and I will say again, cancel culture is fucking fake ! it is literally not real and it is invented by people who have miserable sad little lives and want to self-impose their issues and hypocritical views onto others to pretend that they're doing good in the world when, in reality, they're making it that much worse!!

now, don't get me wrong, i really don't mind someone saying to their fave, "hey, this thing you said was hurtful for X reason, maybe you could consider that in the future :)" but I've already seen people saying ashton should kill himself sdfghjk so ! i don't care much for any opinion they have because they undermine their own arguments by telling people to spread kindness by spreading cruelty. it's frankly moronically hypocritical and embarrasses me every time i go online and see it.

as for the actual reason ashton's getting hate right now, i don't personally think it's as big a deal as people pretend it is. and this is getting into my own personal perspectives of things and please feel free to disagree with me on this because i know it's a Hot Take, but i can believe and support victims while simultaneously thinking that anonymous twitter allegations are mostly bullshit.

all allegations against All Time Low were entirely anonymous from a twitter user with no evidence/support/timeline (and, yeah, a random user said there were "97 allegations" but when people asked where she got that number from, she literally admitted she made it up and deactivated her account. but that didn't stop people from just fucking running with the number) and when ATL threatened to press charges for defamation, all of a sudden this anon user disappeared with no further comment. but twitter went wild - as it often does - and completely exaggerated all the actual information given.

twitter spreads misinformation like a disease. that's just the truth. and im certainly not saying all allegations that originate on twitter are fake because they aren't but i am saying that people online need to support victims at the same time that they actually start thinking critically about things. twitter acts like it's "guilty until proven innocent" instead of the other way around.

that being said, i don't personally support ATL because i didn't listen to their music before so this doesn't affect me and - if there is the chance they're abusers, i don't really want to listen to them. But that doesn't mean i tell people to turn them off if they like them or something, or tell them to stop being fans. because it doesn't affect me and i, frankly, just don't care. people need to learn that supporting the artist and supporting the art are two totally different things. you can listen to a song you like without knowing every allegation the artist has ever faced. also, if we stopped listening to every song made by a problematic artist, I'm afraid there would be very little music left.

that's where this brings me to the fact that people are throwing around insane accusations like that ashton supports rapists which is a fucking insane thing to say about a) people who arent even confirmed/charged rapists and b) over the fact he literally just played a song by them? he was DJ-ing for an emo/pop punk night? people would have been shocked if he hadn't played All Time Low??

also, I'm sorry but are you going to boycott every single person and establishment that plays one of the biggest pop-punk bands ever?? if you walk into a store and hear it playing All Time Low, will you never shop there again?? where is the line drawn?

and finally, the whole thing pisses me off because people use it as an excuse to say that they stand with victims and that ashton is actively harming victims by playing All Time Low when, I'm sorry, but no the fuck he's not ?? and, in my opinion, this is actually does MORE harm to victims than it does good? it's all just performative crap to make yourself look "woke".

and, excuse me, but what have you actually done to genuinely fucking support victims other than tell some random rich man who you don't fucking know that he should kill himself for DJing at an emo night?? using all this time to "cancel" Ashton Irwin's privileged cishet male ass could have been spent actually raising awareness about rape or helping actual real life fucking people in your community? this level of vitriol doesn't help anyone. it's pathetic.

this is just my real problem with the internet in general is that people act like hate inspires kindness and education when it does the exact opposite.

so, that being said, i just think the hate against ashton is small-minded and embarrassing. it doesn't mean anything at all. and I'm going to keep enjoying tumblr where people aren't pathetically insane (they're funny insane) and we can just learn how to fucking enjoy things because the world is too ugly right now to not find beauty in SOMETHING, goddammit! i am in fandom to have fun. not listen to people bitch and moan about their uninformed, damaging views of what social justice is.

and i will also spend my time in my real life genuinely supporting victims of assault and abuse instead of just pretending i do on fucking fandom social media.

[starryjkoo]

some random chronically online fandom and shipping thoughts #1

I just feel like ARMYs who are very obviously Y/N’s have NO reason to be judging shippers. I think it’s funny how some of them are so genuinely defensive and put off by shipping in a way I can tell is personal lol (it’s giving jealousy!). I totally understand people not liking shipping/shippers but I’ll never accept judgement from a Y/N, sorry! If you’re posting about only ONE member in a really thirsty manner after every AYS trailer and then turning around and saying “ugh, jkkrs are so annoying and delusional, jikook are brothers!” I know what you are! 🫵

slurping up all these AYS teasers like a starving animal but I’m starting to feel like they’re showing us too much now 😩 don’t spoil all the cute parts please BH!

only extremely sad and chronically online losers think that mass liking hate tweets actually means anything in the real world. a lot of these people need to get a life and go touch grass because the obsession with jm is truly weird and sad.

not everyone who wants th to appear in AYS is a tkkr, because it’s normal for ARMYs to want to see as many members as possible, but it’s kind of obvious with the ones who bring it up every chance they get lol, or the first thing they look for in a new AYS teaser, or just the specific way they talk about it. and my god are there a lot of tkkr ARMYs

I’m self aware that I’m pretty heavily biased, but there’s nothing worse than the ARMYs who hide under the OT7 visage but are CLEARLY heavily biased themselves. I simply do not like hypocrites, maybe some of them are in denial about it, idk. ofc there’s nothing worse than the ones who cosplay and try to create havoc in ARMY spaces, but that’s an entirely different thing. with that said, i’m convinced that at least 90% of active ARMYs are heavily biased at this point and we’d all be better off if they could simply just admit it.

perhaps this is my own bias so feel free to disagree, but imo ARMYs very clearly have a different sort of energy for jm antis and I think its partially because his hate has been so damn normalized in this fandom after years of tkkrs, but also because clearly a vast majority of the ARMY sh*oter accounts are diet solos and tkkrs and they always put an extra amount of scrutiny on things related to jm. they're also the first to bring shipper/solo drama into ARMY spaces (but only when it impacts their ship/bias) and they’re very clearly obviously lurking in solo/shipper territory to find it the way they do. the silence right now from certain accounts really does speak volumes.

sort of related, but the best way to gain a big following on ARMY twt is to get involved in whatever current drama is going on, for example MHJ drama, boycott drama, general fanwars. ARMYs will flock and mass follow these accounts, and a lot of them are diets who gain a platform and then spread their diet narratives later. one really good example is that elo person if anyone remembers all that, they literally were moots w/ tkk akgaes & calling them bestie but rebranded after they started gaining a mass following for “doxxing” and they started gaining attention because they were “debunking” the OG taennie icloud leaks (lol ofc they were a tkkr doing that). anyways they were awful and did a lot of harm, but they got that platform bc a lot of ARMYs flock to toxic accounts like that, especially when somethings going on, and then they’re impossible to cancel.

last shipping thought but we all know why tkkrs and y/n’s are jealous and weird towards jkk but sometimes its actually the same case for a lot of the other bts shippers, especially jk x hl shippers (like what's w/ all the j*nkookers lol) & yoonm*n. and there’s a lot of ARMYs who fall into this category actually. even if they don’t believe their ship is real, sometimes they still feel a bit passive aggressive/jealous bc they would prefer whatever content was with their bias/self-insert instead. theres so many jkk moments that have been really badly OT7’d, like I’ve never seen anything like the way almost the entire fandom rewrote history to make that jk binging jm content jk binging bts content (its legit wild to me).

and ill never forget during the disney docu when someone pointed out how jk likely knew jms apartment password and it got ratio’d at over 4k by someone saying “he probably knows all his hyungs passwords!” and it wasn’t even funny or clever lmao, it was very much giving

anyways, i believe this is one of the reasons sometimes ARMYs at large are weird towards jkk bc even outside of just tkkrs there are a LOT of HL shippers who take it pretty personally, especially if they’re the sort that projects onto one of the members in their ship. tbh, even if it’s not shipping, it’s a bias line thing where they want to fight over jm/jk being closer to their bias than they are to each other.

its whatever and just a petty complaint lol, i dont care who ppl ship/bias but i do find it annoying sometimes bc there are always ppl constantly downplaying jkks friendship and picking it apart and trying to OT7-ify it more than any other duo. its like ppl are really obsessed & its tiring. just give jkk their flowers sometimes and move on, you know? you definitely do not need to ship them or see them as romantic, but just respect their bond and the things about it that are unique to them, god

alright was just getting this out of my system because I was focused on positive vibes only for MUSE, will be going back to (mostly) positive vibes for AYS!

[itsmattchou]

all day, i'm thinking about you !

starring: zb1 & some zumblrcord members warnings: jiwoong gets ageshamed (misa core), mentions of eating children, turkish alpha wolf, hanbin is a 'hater', taerae is delulu, cutie yujin, english isn't my first language!!! genre: uhm i have legit no idea. misc? synopsis: in a parallel universe where zb1 are the fans of zumblr… how do they act as fanboys? notes: zumblrcord people love this idea. are you a zb1 too? shoutout to moni @taerrrrrae for the elif evil editing idea! mentioned: elif @jinkiseason ; venom @zerobaseonefics ; irene @itaerae ; tea @teaxeee ; eris @keita-luv ; misa @terazono-keita

ZUMBLR (점브러) is a 9-member project group formed by MNET‘s survival show DELULU PLANET 999. They made their debut on July 4, 2023 with the mini album 'OLD AGE IN THE LIGHT' and the song 'Out Wilted'.

Fandom Name: ZB1 (ZeroBaseOne) Official Merch: a Zumblr mug🤓

kim jiwoong he's not as open about being a zb1 as the other boys. it's more like his secret identity. kim jiwoong at day, zb1 at night, he's basically like batman. he writes a lot of fanfictions but nobody knows about it, he uses a different name on the internet. he's part of the zb1 discord and gets roasted for his age regularly. he likes buying the zumblr albums and loves listening to their music, especially when he's jogging or cleaning his apartment. he's waiting for the day that one of members acts in a kdrama. his bias is elif.

zhang hao he's always uploading covers of zumblr songs. if singing covers, dance covers or violin covers doesn't matter. he uploads them and is fairly popular in the fandom. listens to every song the second a new album drops and is also big on streaming. he's also really into 'drama' surrounding zumblr. he still laughs about the way mnet tried evil editing "RAWRR turkish alpha wolf" elif into making it seem like she eats kids because they didn't want a furry in the line up. elif still made it as P04. hao can't decide for a bias.

sung hanbin he's the most well known zb1. he went viral for 'hating' on zumblr member venom (everybody knows he's utterly in love with her). he also writes fanfictions but he's more open about it. probably cries every night thinking about zumblrs future disbandment. he works in a coffeeshop and makes sure to regularly play zumblr songs in order to promote them further. he has like hundreds of fellow zb1 friends and moots online. he claims that he biases somebody else, but everybody knows that his bias is venom.

seok matthew he's the sweetest fan for real. he streams and votes a lot, he would feel guilty if not. he likes buying the albums and always makes sure to preorder them so he could receive extra benefits. he always has a photocard in his phone case and changes it regularly. he cried while watching the dp999 finale, even though his pick made it. he likes to upload funny videos about zumblr onto youtube (zumblr out of context eg) and has a big following too. his zumblr lightstick is his most beloved possession. his bias is chou, obviously.

kim taerae he's literally the most delulu out of all of them. he might not seem like it, but he definitely is. while hanbin and jiwoong are the ones writing the fanfictions, he's the one who's constantly reading them. he loves covering zumblr songs and uploading his singing onto youtube and tiktok. taerae rewatches delulu planet 999 often and is constantly sad about all the eliminated trainees. he really likes to trade his photocards for no specific reason. he's incredibly bad at voting and streaming though. he is an ot9.

shen ricky he's the kinda stan that owns EVERYTHING. he rich fr. albums? owns every single version of every album. seasons greeting? he has it. merch? best believe he buys every piece possible. concert tickets? he's spoiling himself with vip tickets. he has won multiple phone calls too and every other broke stan is incredibly jealous of him. he's talked to every member so far and literally went viral on multiple platforms for his obsession with zumblr because he posted about it. his bias is irene, as she's just as rich as him.

kim gyuvin he only speaks in zumblr references and has annoyed friends into becoming zb1s too. he runs a meme page / very popular fan page for zumblr. every other zb1 knows him. zumblr has even mentioned him in lives before. he buys every album (but only one version. he's kinda broke.) and decorates his room with some fan articles. he likes learning the dances. he goes to karaoke bars regularly and always puts zumblr songs on, his favorite being 'never', the solo song from chou. gyuvin changes his bias like every single day.

park gunwook he's the friend gyuvin annoyed into becoming a zb1. he started watching delulu planet 999 when it was already too late and almost ending and he really regretted not tuning in earlier. he's a big zb1 now even though his #1 pick (tea) didn't make it. but he's still a bit more chill compared to some other members. he doesn't buy albums because he wants to save up to go to one of their concerts instead. he streams zumblrs music kind of unintentionally as it's always playing on loop while he's his doing homework. he doesn't bias anyone in the group. (missing tea hours)

han yujin he watches all youtube videos about them while he's doing his homework. he once scribbled the zumblr logo on a test sheet and got an extra point because the teacher is also a zb1 (biased). he cries often because the maknae- eris- is younger than him. he likes to do dancing covers and uploads them on tiktok. he always saves up money in order to buy some albums or merch. he reads zumblr fluff whenever he's sad. has won a phone call once and made the member 'fall in love' with him as he's just too cute. his bias is eris.

bonus:

terazono keita really doesn't give a fuck about zumblr. he only cares about misa who sadly didn't make the cut and only placed P12 in the dp999 finals.

lee seunghwan is unemployed. he spends his free time listening to zumblr music.

[neoninky]

HSR Penacony spoilers BUT imma gonna talk about this

Honkai Star Rail related/kinda personal tangent under the cut. It's something that's been hanging in the back of my mind for a while, but I haven't seen people talk about it so I'm talking about it now.

I honestly should have screen-capped this when it happened ingame but oh well- Real talk: I was playing the last patch in Honkai Star Rail when this scene happened. You meet up with Robin again - who btw is a friggin ANGEL for real omg - and you meet this group of children that she has been helping teach (I believe?) and the main teacher NPC, Grace, is introducing the audience/Trailblazers to the children by name and she says this... "And as for Gary, he's been living with autism since he was a child..." Some context: I'm an undiagnosed adult with suspected autism. I word it that way because, like I said, I haven't been officially diagnosed. It's something that I want to achieve in the future but even so, I'm about 95% sure that I'm somewhere on the spectrum. Sometimes I still struggle with denying or doubting it because I do not have tangible proof on paper. Also, I can do things that a lot of people on the spectrum cannot (to an extent). But it's called a spectrum for a reason also masking is a very real thing. So is imposter syndrome but that's a whole other story-ANYWAY

With that said, I do have proof in that there are a lot - far too many in fact - common factors between myself and others on the spectrum that I've seen online, watched in videos made for and by autistic people, or even read in books. So I'm just now getting comfortable telling people out loud that I am autistic and explaining to them the sensory and social issues I sometimes have just so we can hopefully understand each other better. Back to the game - when I reached this part, I had to stop, pause the dialogue, and just sit feeling recognized in a way I never had before when consuming media. Sure, I've played games, watched tv/films, etc., and had seen characters I relate to before. But this was the first time that I've experienced a narrative that wasn't specifically written for/about an autistic character, say "Yes this is a so-n-so and they're autistic." No character coding, no implications, just outright. They don't make it this big to-do or something weird or pitiable (not that it should be by any means). It just is. And that's my favorite kind of representation. In this grand sci-fi space adventure drama mystery murder dinner theater of a game, there's an autistic kid named Gary. Love it. I may not love everything about Hoyoverse games, but this? I will give you your flowers for this Hoyo, thank you.