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#the sticker ghoul will come back
zredarts · 10 months
Note
HEY HEY GHESTIE CONGRATS MR DEWDROP LOVED YOUR STICKER AND PUT IT ON HIS GUITAR IM SURE HE LOVES IT HES LIKE OH THANK YOU GOOD JOB ITS SO CUTE
HI HI! why thank you! Everyone is being so nice about this, its very warming since i didn't even know he would do this.
I already talked about it on twitter, but i think I'mma go into detail here for those who have no twitter, and also because i have more space for rants.
For starters, im a very anxious person. I am aware of everything and everyone in my surroundings, and i don't like to bother people. Miraculously, i made some friends there and they helped me be more comfortable (this was my first concert ever, not even first ritual just concert in general). I tried showing Sodo my sticker during ritual, but to no avail he didn't see it, and i don't blame him it must be hard to see with that mask, and i was in an awkward place (between middle and right stage, front row). One of his picks also accidentally hit me in the face but thats another topic lol
After ritual they tweeted about some event going on. We decided to go check it out since they said they'll be around. I didn't think we would see them but sure enough they arrived to take a look a bit later. My mind was set on giving him the sticker because it was now or never, but i didn't feel comfortable doing so, and so my friends just pushed me near him. I was afraid he would reject it, and at first i felt like i was being a bother, but as soon as he realized i was handing him a sticker his face just lighted up with a smile. I still remember his exact words when he went to grab it. He thanked me, looked it for a bit and said it was adorable. When i tell you this man was the sweetest and spoke to me softly im not exaggerating, he was such a sweetheart. After that i had to leave immediately because again, insecurities and i was shaking very badly so i turned around and went back to my spot. I dunno if he wanted to say something about it, cuz when i looked back he had come closer to my friends and they were talking about something. They left soon after, i think they went to see another concert playing on that venue.
That said, i was certainly sure he may have lost the sticker because of how many people were there and the probability of it falling on accident, and i forgot to give him a backup. I didn't mind if he would have lost it, it was just a sticker after all, but almost a week later i get a message at 3 am from a fan (if you're reading this, thank you so much i wouldn't have known without you) who recognized the sticker from my Instagram story. I didn't have words, i actually was mentally denying the fact it could be my sticker because thats such a great honor. I saw all the comments from people saying that was so on brand for him and that the sticker was cute and it really made me feel nice about it. Even now i still can't believe he liked it enough to be like welp this is going on the guitar lmao
It goes to show how a simple gesture as using a sticker can mean so much for others, and in this case it really made me feel more confident about it. It makes me wish i could thank him for it, a proper thank you. Seeing how they said they had one of the best tours at my ritual, im sure they're gonna come back at some point, so hopefully by then I'll be able to thank him properly, because this not only helped me with my own self esteem, but also with my art career, as seen as people really liked it and would want stickers too.
And thats what I'll do, hopefully my adhd allows me to lol. But thats basically the gist of it, sorry for the long rant. Theres so much that went on, and so much going on in my mind. I appreciate everyone who's spreading the word, and all the kind words about it. And i appreciate Dew for giving my sticker a special place in his heart. Thank you for reading
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eternal-kosmo-ghoul · 3 months
Text
*°:⋆ₓₒ day 25. fuck party
.。❅*⋆⍋*∞*。 “merry christmas”
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˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ — ❤︎ the ministry is all decorated in festive decor and it truly feels like the holidays are in season! now… what do these ghouls want to do with you?
pairing: era iv nameless ghouls x gn!reader
a/n: first off i just want to apologize for the last few days being so late. i really did try my best to make sure that each day had a good fic. this is the only fic that doesn’t really follow the prompt, but i tried my best. consider this fic a nice little letter for the start of 2024. happy new year, and please enjoy !!!
cw: slight nsfw content. horny ghouls. poly ghouls. implied orgy near the end. there’s nothing nsfw that really happens, just mentioned.
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“we want to make this holiday special, dear. come on down to the nave of the ministry… you won’t be disappointed. merry christmas, sweetheart~” —❤︎
┅✦┅
the entire month has been a rollercoaster of emotions. each day you felt like something wild and absolutely ecstatic happens to you every day. it has only made your holiday season more and more interesting.
and now here you were, all cozied and nestled in your room, the scent of roasted chestnuts and currier ives lingering in the air. you sat atop your wooly quilt, with eight different letters in hand.
the slips were underneath your door when you came back from a long shift of working in the ministry. they were all decorated and colored differently, each envelope having its own unique flair and personality to it. you didn’t even have to read the names to know who’s was who.
smiling to yourself, you opened each letter one by one, excited to read what’s inside.
you had started off with the shiny white envelope. it was decorated in cute stationary stickers and the front was written in a glittery pink pen. at the bottom left corner of the envelope was a pink laced ribbon tied neatly with your name on it. if there was anyone that loved colors more than the entire human population, it was your favorite colorful ghoulette.
“aurora’s letter of thanks”
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ to my dear y/n,
hello my darling! i hope this letter reaches you well, because i know how the others can get at times~ happy holidays, my love. i know that this month has been busy for you because of the constant yule traditions, but i’m delighted that you were able to make some time for me and that we could make gingerbread houses together like usual! and i gotta say… your tongue skills never fail to impress me~ you made me come so hard i swore i was going to pass out!! but really though… thanks for being such a sweetie to me, the ministry really doesn’t deserve you. i hope to see you soon for our little surprise~
with lots of love,
aurora ghoulette
the next envelope was colored in a dreamy grey, with cute hearts inked in pen on the cover, it gave off a much more serene and calm vibe compared to the vibrant letter of aurora’s. at the back was a little pocket that contained a written song. after careful observing, you had determined it belonged to an infamous air ghoulette. oh what a songbird she was.
“cumulus’ dreamy songbird”
༄ؘ ۪۪۫۫ ▹▫◃ ۪۪۫۫༄ؘ hello darling ♡︎
what a beautiful winter night, is it not? i often like to be in touch with nature when i’m writing, helps me keep my mind at center. how have you been, darling? i hope you’ve been better after our little passionate night in bed. you were so cute with how you were eagerly trying to get my lingerie off… it was charming, really. though, putting the promiscuity aside, i just want to really want to send this love letter to you as a token of my thanks. you’re my little songbird, and you inspire me to do better, whether it’s songwriting or performing. so as a token of my gratitude.. i’ve prepared a … special song for you. i hope you like it. anyways… come see me later, i’ll sing it.. specially for you~ i love you, dove, and i wish you a happy new year ♡︎♡︎♡︎
your dearest,
cumulus ghoulette
the texture of the next letter was earthy and coarse, but it emitted the soft aroma of fresh pine leaves. it seems that this letter was specially crafted personally for you. just from the scent and touch alone, you smiled to yourself knowing it came from a certain earth ghoul. upon opening it, there was a little sunflower necklace attached to the sand paper letter.
“mountain’s delighted memories”
*:..。o○ to y/n,
hope you’re doing well, and that this year has been treating you well. i appreciate you approaching me that night… and throwing me into the passions of bed. i gotta say, those faces you made when i came deep inside of you, filling you up with me seed, it still gets me going. just being honest here. the reason i’m bringing this up is well… i want to make more memories like that with you. ones that we can share together, and make ourselves feel like we’re ascending to the heavens we can’t reach. you’re really someone that makes me want to just go all out, and in many ways. which is why my gift to you this year.. is going to be imprinted into your mind for eons to come. so, if you want to find more… stop by soon please, i’ll be waiting. ‘till then, have a good christmas.
from your love,
mountain ghoul
this paper was crumpled and slightly torn. it looked like it was made in a rush, but it held a certain charm to it. there were little trinkets and treats attached to the letter, all of which had a cute homemade vibe to it. the faded streaks of purple pen gave away who it belonged to, and you couldn’t be more happy when a certain bug came to mind.
“phantom’s sweet treats”
-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈ hi y/n!
i missed you :(( and i know that we live in the same ministry, but you’re so busy and i barely get to see you! which is why i dragged you out to ‘look for a christmas tree’ with me. i gotta say, i was nervous… but seeing how you reacted when i pounded you against that tree.. satanas, still sends shivers down my spine. after that night, i just can’t stop thinking about you. the way you reacted to my touch, oh it was so good. i put together some handmade goodies for you, hope you like them. think of it as my way of saying thanks for a good night :) on that note, i’m sure the other letters have talked about meeting in a special place. i’ll be there, and i’ll be sure to give you all of my attention <3
love,
phantom ghoul
closing the envelope shut, you grabbed the next one. lipstick marks stained the paper perfectly, imprinting kisses everywhere. looking at the particular shade of red of the lipstick, you instantly thought of a certain keyboardist. there was a soft pink rose attached underneath the slip, and you opened the envelope with ease.
“cirrus’ gratitude”
゚+*:ꔫ:*﹤ evening darling,
i take that christmas has been well for you, huh? it certainly seems like it has been, considering how you were with me during that night in the log cabin ;)) we have to do that more often, sweetheart. you were so cute, with how your face was squished up against the window while i went to town on you… oh, still gets me wet, i can’t lie. it’s one of my favorite memories this season, and for that, i thank you. thanks for being such a delightful and loving partner. you’re honestly a saving grace for me, and you always make me feel good, both in and out of the bedroom. honestly, i’ve never met someone as good in bed as you are. so, as a token of my gratitude, i want you to meet me with the other ghouls tonight. it’ll be fun sweetheart, i promise.
from your dearest,
cirrus ghoulette ❤︎
looking at the next letter with intrigue, you were greeted with a faint smell of cologne, the scent of it was soft and reminded you of the beach. laced over the envelope was a red ribbon with seashells and shark tooth carved trinkets at the end. what a gorgeous sight. you opened it, and smiled upon recognizing the stunning calligraphy ingrained on the paper.
“rain’s poem”
。・゚゚・ dear y/n,
having a good christmas? you better be, otherwise i’ll make sure you are. but for real though, i’m sure this year has been great for you. i would also like to thank you for.. ‘helping’ me with my own personal gift. you looked so goddamn good tied up in my bed like that. i’ll admit, i got carried away with my words, but i know damn well you were into me treating you like my bitch while i dicked you down on the mattress. though, that made me realize how much you love my honeyed words, so i’ll use this opportunity to praise instead to degrade. y/n, you’re an absolute starlight in my life, a treasure like no other. i’d move the heavens and pits for you. it’s cheesy, but it’s true, and i promise to show you how much i love you in any way i can. come by soon ❦
from your favorite water boy,
rain ghoul
the next letter had an ashy and brazened texture, but it shone with a brimstone-like layer to it. the paper was slightly calloused, and there was a fiery flair to it that could only be from one infamous firecracker you knew of. popping off the sloppily made wax seal, you opened it to find an equally burnt letter, but the sight made you smile.
“sodo’s confessions”
∞ ₒ ˚ ° 𐐒 to my y/n,
i’d ask you how you’re doing n’ shit, but i’m not good with words, or greetings nonetheless. so to get things out of the way, i’m going to be as straightforward as possible. y/n, i want to fuck you so badly this christmas right now. that night we shared, in my bedroom, fuck that was so hot. i loved the way you reacted every time i brought the candle wax down on your body. you looked so goddamn sexy covered in all of that… and the memory still makes my dick so hard. call me a pervert or whatever, but i’m proud to be one for you. i can’t help myself when i’m around you. your body, your scent, everything, it drives me fucking insane. don’t tell the other ghouls, but you’re my favorite, and i really can’t figure out why… guess i’m just so drawn to you. at midnight, when you meet the others, i’ll be sure to let them know who can make you feel the best in bed. and that’s not a threat, that’s a fucking promise. but ‘till then, i’ll be waiting for you, sweet thing
i love you,
sodo ghoul
the final letter had a reddish stain on it. bringing it closer to your nose, you got a faint whiff of red whine from the stain. the designs on the letter were intricate and creative, but there was a suave and sultry feel to this letter. if there was any infernal who knew how to be smooth, it was a certain multi ghoul with the voice of an angel.
“swiss’ invitation”
❤︎*♡∞:。.。 to my love,
welcome, darling~ i know how much you like the smell of wine, so i indulged you a bit in my envelope for you. merry christmas, and thank you for being such a passionate lover. gotta say, bunny, you looked so cute that one night when you were sitting on my cock. the way your rosy cheeks just got more pink every time you looked at me, desperate to stay warm… ooh, that’s what you call hot. good to know that i was able to keep you warm during that snowy night, and i got to get my dick wet too. so it was a win/win situation for the two of us, dear~ but all jokes aside, i had come up with the plan to treat my favorite sibling of sin to some… fun this season. i conspired with all of the other ghouls and ghoulettes to help me, and i’m sure they all mentioned in their letters that they want to meet up with you too. we want to make this holiday special, dear. come on down to the nave of the ministry… you won’t be disappointed. merry christmas, sweetheart~
forever yours,
swiss ghoul
folding all the letters neatly and piling them on your desk, you smirked to yourself, and got up from the bed to start walking over to the nave of the church. each step carried your eager body closer to a lustful, passionate and loving location.
whatever your lovers were planning… you knew it was going to be a good one.
eyeing up the tall, church doors, you pushed them open to be met with a glorious sight.
the moonlight streamed through the glass panes windows of the dimly lit nave. candles aligned everywhere with ribbons decorating every corner and crevice. but the best sight of all… were the infamous nameless ghouls themselves.
they were all dressed for the occasion, all dolled up to your liking. the ghoulettes were in matching lingerie, but in different colors. aurora in a rose gold, cumulus in white and cirrus in black. they all huddled together and perked up upon seeing you. you looked to the other side to see another group of ghouls. rain’s expression was neutral, but there was a promiscuous glint in his eyes as the red ribbon twirled between his fingers. sodo’s expression was as hungry as ever, eyeing like a piece of candy while holding onto a candle. phantom looked excited, but jittery, claws digging into his seat, and mountain looked as calm and collected as ever, albeit, not minding the little problem in his pants.
from the center, swiss emerged, and he looked down at you with a wicked, yet lustful grin. his tail flicked about to the side, and you looked up at him with curious eyes, chuckling, his long fingers traced around your jaw and gently clasped around it while craning your head up, making you look at him.
he smiled at you,
and in return you smiled.
“merry christmas, y/n.” he spoke suavely, his words still as honeyed as ever.
he then stepped behind you, gently massaging your shoulders and holding onto you. with a snap of his fingers, the ghouls and ghoulettes giggled and approached closer to you, lust on their minds.
oh
this would certainly be a christmas to remember~
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tinymoon-beam · 4 months
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ive seen a lot of posts about rainy using forearm crutches and i also use them and have decorated them with lights and tinsel for holiday parties, could you maybe write about little rain and little dew and big mountain decorating rains crutches with him?
I hope this is ok friend!! 🩷🩷🩷
Cw: Rain is having a hard day, negative self talk, Mountain to the rescue, Dew's words, starts a bit angsty but ends happy of course!
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Mountain catches Rain sitting by himself in the den, arms folded across his chest with his crutches tossed onto the floor. His cheeks are red and Mountain can tell he's fighting off tears.
He wanders in and kneels on the floor in front of where he sits. "What's the matter, minnow?"
He bites his lip and shakes his head, more tears welling up in his blue black eyes. He's upset, deeply, not just a little annoyance.
"Would you like a hug? Or not right now?"
Rain thinks about it for a moment before he falls forward into Mountains arms, wrapping his arms tight around his neck. Mountain runs his back while the little ghoul cries into his shoulder.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Rain sniffles. "Phantom and Aurora got to go p-play outside but I can't go cause my legs are stupid and-"
"Hey," Mountain pushes him back gently by his shoulders. "You know you're not allowed to say that word. You know it's mean and it's untrue."
"I just want to be normal...I want to play too..."
Mountain pulls him back into his chest. "I'm sorry you're having a hard day minnow, but there is no such thing as normal. Every single one of us is different and sometimes we have bad days, and it's ok to be sad about that. But being mean to yourself isn't going to change anything right?"
He shakes his head. "No...guess not..."
"And there are so many other things that you can do even when your legs need a break right?"
"Like what?"
"Well you are really creative! You draw some of the best pictures I've ever seen. You make up games and you're very very smart."
He feels the little ghoul smile a little and he hugs Mountain a little tighter.
"I think I might have an idea." Mountain scoops him up and grabs his crutches from the floor, heading down the hall to the room that Lus and Aurora had deemed the craft room.
He sets the crutches on the table before carrying Rain off to go get Dew from his nap. He's bright eyed when they walk in and Dew smiles when he sees Rain.
"Mor!"
Mountain picks him up, holding him on his other side. He carries them back to the room, sitting with Dew on his lap after pulling out all the Yule themed decorations he could find.
"I can really decorate them?" Rain asks almost nervously. He had other ones that were decorated but they had come that way, he'd never done it himself.
"Of course you can." He catches Dew shoving a bright red Pom Pom into his mouth. "Dew don't eat that!"
He spits it out, blowing a raspberry as he does. "'Uck!"
Rain giggles and Mountain smiles as the little ghoul searches through the crafts for what he wants. He helps him glue the ribbon around the crutches, green with reindeers on it. Dew contents himself with a page of stickers he found, little woodland creatures with Santa hats.
"Look! Can I put this too?" He holds up the shiny silver tinsel and Dew reaches out to touch it. Rain wiggles it and Dew laughs, little fingers trying to grab hold of the strands but Rain moves it too quickly.
"You can put whatever you want minnow. I think the tinsel will be beautiful."
He watches him work, focused hard on the task at hand.
"Berg...mmm."
Mountain glances down at the sticker Dew is trying to work free from the page, a little brown mouse with a candy cane in his hands.
"Maus." (Mouse)
"Mmm...ma-us."
"Very good, Dewdrop."
Dew reaches and manages to grab one of the crutches, sticking the sticker to the ribbon wrapped around it.
Rain smiles and puts the other one in Dews reach. "Well now this one needs a sticker too!"
He plucks a star from the page. "'ella!" (From Estrella, star in Spanish)
"It's just like your star Dew!"
"Now you can match."
The thought makes Rain smile and Dew pokes it in place.
They stay there until Rain gets his crutches just how he wants them and Mountain helps him get them adjusted on his forearms.
Dew claps when Rain walks around, the setting sun catching the tinsel making it shine.
"You did such a good job minnow! They look amazing."
"You and Dew helped!"
He feels a soggy sticker land on his hand quickly followed by Dew shaking his head.
"Ew!" Dew sticks his tongue out like the air will take the taste from his mouth.
"At least he didn't give you the chewed up ones. I think he's hungry, want to go show everyone what you did today?"
Rain nods excitedly before he had Mountain clean up, Dew sitting on the floor, poking at the stickers he had stuck all down his arms.
Mountain carries Dew but Rain insists he can make it down the stairs himself. Mountain stays close, ready to catch him in the blink of an eye should be slip.
They make it to the bottom of the stairs and Rain takes a second, usually getting winded from the effort whenever he's little.
Everyone's in the dining room, it had been Swiss' turn to cook and Mountain can hear Phantom chatting excitedly about playing outside, Aurora joins in occasionally but it's clear by her voice that she isn't down anymore.
"A-and I ran down the hill as fast as I could t-till I feel down and rolled the rest of the way!" He giggles.
Aether laughs. "That would explain the grass that was in your hair."
"Aef!" Dew squirms until Mountain starts walking again, Rain beside him.
Phantom's eyes find Rain immediately. "Rain!"
Rain gives them a little smile, moving to sit beside the little Quint.
When they spot his crutches they gasp. "R-reigndeers!"
"We decorated them today." He tells them softly, holding them up across his lap once he's seated. "Mountain and Dew helped!"
Phantom checks them over, taking in everything Rain had put on there, giggling about Dew's randomly placed stickers.
Dew claps from Aether's arms. "'ella!"
"Yeah, he gave me a star so we match!"
Mountain watches happily as the two chat and giggle, bumping each other with their shoulders, the earlier upset clearly gone from Rains mind.
He watches Dew poke around at his plate while Aether tries to convince him to eat more of his carrots.
Rain and Phantom ask for a bath together so that they can play and have a sleepover in Phantom's room. Mountain agrees to read them a bedtime story and they turn back to their conversation.
Aether takes Dew off to bed once dinner is cleaned up and the giant keeps a hand on Rain's lower back up the stairs, making sure he stays steady.
Phantom sprints to the bathroom to pick out his toys and Rain glances up at Mountain and back down to his crutches.
"Thank you for helping me make them special Mount."
He bends to kiss the top of his head. "Anytime minnow, I'm always here for you."
Rain leans against his chest so Mountain can hug him before turning and heading to the bathroom.
"Phantom did you get the big shark out?" He yells as he goes and Mountain laughs.
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hypnoneghoul · 9 months
Note
i would love to see your take on an age regression based headcanons or fic
Guppy
WC: 1,5K
Relationship: Little!Rain/Caregiver!Swiss
Tags: Age regression, they/them, eds Rain
Swiss realised the noise he heard was caused by Rain falling over. Now they sat against the wall with a pout, arms crossed over their chest. The multi ghoul already knew what kind of days it was for Rain, then.
Notes: This is not age play, nothing sexual here, age regression is a coping mechanism for Rain.
Read under the cut or on AO3.
Swiss was in the common room kitchen, making himself a cup of morning coffee, when he heard a thump coming from the corridor. He left his half filled mug to go check what was going on and his heart nearly shattered when Swiss realised the noise he heard was caused by Rain falling over. Now they sat against the wall with a pout, arms crossed over their chest. The multi ghoul already knew what kind of day it was for Rain, then.
“Hi, guppy,” Swiss came up to where the water ghoul was plopped on the floor, crouching in front of them. “What happened here, huh?”
“Fell,” they grumbled, “legs- uhm… don’t work.”
“Ah, it happens, yeah?” the multi ghoul scanned Rain’s long limbs, noticing both of their ankles were twisted. “Let’s get you up, kiddo, we’ve gotta take care of you.”
Rain nodded, their face still a bit pouty, as Swiss grabbed them by their armpits and hoisted the lanky ghoul up, taking on most of their weight as they giggled. Rain fell just outside their bedroom door, the multi ghoul presumed they woke up feeling small, for some reason, and their little sleep-addled brain apparently forgot to grab their crutches. 
Back in the room Swiss sat Rain down on their bed with a chirp, as he went to the water ghoul’s special wardrobe, dedicated to things they used only when little. He dug out bright purple forearm crutches adorned with tons of stickers, most fish themed, two blue ankle braces, ocean themed elastic bandages and a weird looking lump of straps. When the multi ghoul turned back to Rain he saw them waiting patiently with their favourite plushie - a big blue shark - clutched tightly to their chest.
“There’s your friend,” Swiss chuckled, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Okay, guppy, can you tell me if we’re going for braces today or will the bandages be enough?”
Asking that, the multi ghoul presented both options, giving the other a moment to consider, “I- I think… those,” they pointed at the hard braces, wiggling their outstretched legs a bit, “‘m wobbly.”
“Sure thing, kiddo, let’s put them on, yeah?” Rain nodded enthusiastically, mirroring Swiss’s grin as he took one of their wobbly, as they called it, legs into his lap, putting on a sock, making them let out a little giggle, “What’s so funny, hm?”
“T- tickles,” they laughed, hiding behind their hands.
“Does it now, huh?” Swiss teased, sliding a claw up the sole of Rain’s bare foot.
“Sw- swissy,” Rain snorted, squirming a bit, “Sto-oppp.”
The multi ghoul would continue, always eager to hear the other’s purest of laughs, but considering the state of their legs today, it wasn’t a good idea. Last thing he might've wanted was for Rain to make it worse by accident. Or risking their mindset switching and them ending up in panic because the tickles started making them actually uncomfortable. That's why Swiss just leaned down to place a kiss on the water ghoul’s shin, just under their knee, and got to putting the braces on.
It went quickly, Swiss tied both of them tightly for good support but loose enough for it to still be somewhat comfortable, checking in on Rain’s face as he did so.
“Alright, kiddo, all set,” he announced as he tucked the stray piece of lace into Rain’s sock. “Everything comfy, nothing scratchy or squeezing in the bad way?”
“Nuh-uh,” they shook their head, cheek nuzzled into their plushie as a quiet purr started bubbling in their chest.
“Okay, guppy, will you let me know if something’s wrong?” Swiss asked, despite knowing that any discomfort would immediately show itself on the water ghoul’s face. They nodded, melting further into their nest. “Now, I think it’s time for breakfast, yeah?”
Rain perked up at that, “Can we… uhm, cea… crea…”
“Cereal, guppy?”
“Yes!” the water ghoul clasped their hand together, a big grin on their face again.
“Sure thing, let’s go get you your cereal, then,” Swiss got up, extending both of his hands for Rain to take. They looked at them with a bit of reluctance, biting their bottom lip, and the multi ghoul realised his mistake in a moment, withdrawing one of his hands. Rain chirped, gripping the second one then as they let themself be moved to a standing position.
The reason for Rain not wanting to take both of Swiss’ hands was that they had to have one of their own free for their shark plushie, of course, nothing else. That would be a small issue, though, considering both of the water ghoul’s ankles were wobbly today, they needed both of their crutches. Fortunately, Swiss was experienced enough as little Rain’s caregiver that he had a trick for that.
“Here, guppy, take this one,” he pushed the right crutch into their hand. When he was sure Rain was stable enough, the multi ghoul turned to grab something resembling a weird harness from the bedside table. “You remember this cool thing?”
Rain cocked their head to the side, inspecting what Swiss held. Once they realised, they brought the shark close to their chest, losing a bit of balance, as they furrowed their brows.
Swiss smiled softly at how protective over their plushie Rain was, knowing he had to act carefully now, “Yeah, you do remember. Let’s get it on, huh?”
The water ghoul grumbled a little under their breath, but after a moment let Swiss wrap their shark in the dark blue pieces of fabric. Rain still held on to the toy’s tail, though, not daring to let go for even a second. When Swiss was done with the plushie, he pushed it against Rain’s chest holding it there and gently took their wrist, prompting them to let go of its tail now that there was another point of contact. Rain obliged, unclenching their fingers, and Swiss guided their hand into one of the loops, settling the strap over their shoulder. He then pulled away and gave Rain the other crutch “Okay, guppy, now, take this here, yeah.”
When Rain rested their weight on the left crutch, Swiss took back the right one for a moment, repeating the process of pulling their hand through the loops of straps, giving the aid back as he finished, “There we go, all ready for your cereal now.”
The multi ghoul smiled as he took in the image of Rain, now grinning too, proudly wearing their shark plushie in the Swiss-made carrier on their front, “Yeah… h- hungry.”
“No wonder, kiddo,” he ruffled their hair, making the ghoul giggle again, “Let’s go then.”
Swiss splayed his hand over Rain’s lower back, subtly supporting them just in case. Rain was really good with their mobility aids both on a daily basis and when regressed, but little Rain got clumsier than usual, prone to losing balance or tripping over their own feet. The multi ghoul would lie if he said he didn’t find them adorable, sometimes bringing back the old fan nickname - ‘bambi’.
The way to the common room was positively uneventful, though, and soon Rain was sat at the table, chin rested over the top of their plushie’s head, patiently waiting for their Swissy to bring them breakfast. The multi ghoul came back from the kitchen with a mug of coffee and a blue plastic bowl with a coral reef printed on its outside. He put it down in front of Rain, digging up a spoon with a plastic handle, matching the bowl, favourite set of the ghoul when small. The only acceptable, really.
The water ghoul grabbed the spoon, holding it in a way Swiss couldn’t mirror no matter how hard he tried. He was always surprised with how Rain managed to hold it and not spill milk everywhere. They got to devouring the cereal, Swiss sitting down to finally sip on his coffee that got abandoned earlier by accident. The multi ghoul observed Rain as they munched on the honey hoops, a happy trill escaping them from time to time, until they grabbed the bowl in two hands and drank down the leftover milk.
“All done?” Rain nodded as Swiss wiped a few drops of milk from their small moustache with his thumb. “Is there anything you want to do today, kiddo?”
“Hmmm…” they sighed, brows furrowing in thought, “‘m bit tired…”
“Didn’t sleep well, huh?” Rain shook their head. “I propose cuddles, then.”
The water ghoul chirped with a smile, already scrambling to get up from the table and get to the couch, “Hey, slowly, guppy. There’s no rush, we’ve got all day.”
“Sorry,” they mumbled, settling back down.
“None of that, it’s okay,” Swiss assured, petting between their horns. “Here, let me help.”
The multi ghoul moved back the chair Rain was sitting on, handing them their crutches again. He guided them to the couch, taking the aids away once they sat down. Swiss himself leaned against the back of it, arms open. Rain took the invitation, curling up on Swiss’ lap with their legs thrown over the armrest, their plushie now squeezed between the ghouls’ chests.
“There we go, kiddo,” Swiss cooed, wrapping his arms around the already purring ghoul, “we can both make good use of some more rest, yeah?”
The multi ghoul thought he may have heard something that was supposed to be a response, but when he looked down, Rain was already half dozed off. And, well, who was Swiss to stop his guppy from sleeping comfortably in his arms?
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lady-jane3 · 10 months
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°✧ command ✧°
.
pairing: mountain x brat!dew x brat!reader
warnings: nsfw, weed, mention of feminization & some power imbalance
a/n: idk I enjoyed this idea but it didn't turn out quite how I wanted
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pic from pinterest
“Are you joking?” I asked, giving Dew a judgmental look.
“No, it’s good luck.” He answered smugly, smoothing a hand down the back of his guitar.
“It’s a sticker. Of yourself. On the back of your instrument. How is that supposed to bring you good luck? Sounds like vanity to me.” I sassed him, giving a sideways glance to the silhouette of himself now slapped on the guitar.
“It’s both.” He shrugged, smiling to himself as he admired the sticker and wagging his tail. “It’d be fuckin’ silly of me not to think I was pretty when eeeeeeeeeveryone tells me so.”
I rolled my eyes, “You’re a fucking child is what you are.”
“Says you.” He cast a sideways glance at me. “Why do you care so much about a sticker anyways? Are you jealous that people think I’m pretty? Or do you just wanna do something about it?”
I stuck my nose up in the air, “I wouldn’t touch you again with a ten foot pole if you kept up that attitude.” 
“Oh, but you would if I didn’t act self-absorbed? Still means you’d hit.” He grinned, satisfied with himself for finding a strong comeback.
“Shut up, you’re the one who was on his knees, begging me to even give you a pat on the head not even a week ago when I had you dressed up like a doll and- ”
Dew opened his mouth, but Mountain’s voice halted the conversation. We hadn’t even noticed him come up to us but we froze when we heard him interrupt. It always meant one thing when he got involved and especially between the two of us when we had one of our spats between attitudes.
He cleared his throat first just to catch our attention then spoke with a hint of a smile playing at his lips, “What are you two fighting about this time?”
“Nothing.” I blurted out instantly.
Dew put on a visage of innocence as he looked up at Mountain with round eyes, “We’re not fighting, Mounty… what are you talking about?”
“Both of you, up, follow me. Now.” He spoke, not paying any mind to what we said. 
Mountain turned and walked down the hall of the ghoul’s wing, turning into his own room just to hold the door for the two of us. He looked down at us, sly but quietly so, and only stepped inside after we came through. The door shut behind Dew and I as we stood cluelessly in Mountain’s room, waiting for him to come through. He always directed us around, his larger demeanor and calm, commanding presence naturally seeming to set us in line. The method, however, varied by occasion and the two of us were rendered to silence as we looked at one another wondering what Mountain had up his sleeve now.
“What was that I was hearing about Dew dressed up?” Mountain started, walking towards us and standing a little distance away just to feel out of reach for when we would undoubtedly start to make pleas to him.
Dew, however, preened at the opportunity: “I was dolled up then fucked up looking like that. What, you wanna see it for yourself? I wouldn’t mind doing it again for you, Mounty…”
His teasing tone didn’t have any effect on Mountain as he stood stoically, “I’ll keep it in mind. I stepped into the argument though, what was that about? It can’t just be Dew’s affinity for dressing up like a girl.”
“He was being a vain little bitch.” I answered under my breath.
“Was not! You’re just fuckin’ jealous.” Dew spat back.
“I see.” Mountain spoke before we could launch back into an argument. “You two are going to make up your differences right here. In front of me.”
He sat down over the sofa that was pushed up against one wall, laying all the way back with his long legs extended out and parted comfortably wide. Despite the fact that he was sitting, Mountain looked every bit of his tall, lanky self in that position where he was all spread out over the cushions. He pulled a joint out of his pocket, putting it between his lips and leaning forward to Dew with a nonchalant ease.
It was one of the few things he knew how to do with his newfound fire element without having to be in a fiery mood – his fingertips could work up a strong flame to light things like this. The little fire ghoul obliged, thinking it’d give him more of a pass out of whatever punishment Mountain gave us. With a puff of smoke, Mountain sat back and took a deep drag. He considered what to do with us for a moment then paused, looking between the two of us as though he had already given us a command.
“Why are you just standing there? Help each other out of the uniforms.” He directed like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Dew turned to me and gave me an expectant look, standing as tall as someone of his small stature could manage. I rolled my eyes but decided not to test Mountain, unfastening the buttons of his vest and sliding the fabric off of him. When I had finished with him, Mountain lazily smiling to himself at the show, Dew decided he would do things impatiently: tearing through the fabric of my uniform so it lay in tatters on the floor. Mountain sat up with his smile missing.
“Dew, that’s not what I asked you to do.” 
“You wanted us out of the clothes. I did it faster.”
Mountain tsked at him, “Are you talking back?”
“No, you just didn’t give clear instructions. I did what I thought you wanted.” Dew pouted, feigning innocence. 
“Listen better next time or you’ll get a worse punishment, got it?” Mountain threatened.
“Yes.” Dew answered, his tone cheerful but his teeth gritted.
Mountain took another drag and blew smoke up towards the ceiling, “For that, Dew? I want you to get on your knees and apologize to them with your mouth. And I don’t mean talking, since you struggle with the details of my directions.”
Dew grumbled under his breath but followed along, looking up at me through slumped brows and a grouchy frown. I grinned and parted my knees for him, “Well, you heard Mountain. Get to it, prettyboy.”
Mountain made a hum of warning, his eyes fixed on me. Fuck, as much as I pretended not to like when Mountain caught us or got involved, his treatment was the best. He knew just how to order us around and make us feel like his little playthings. Telling us just what to do to entertain him, holding a hand over the back of my head while he tried to fuck his impossible length down my throat, the gentle corrections, his sharp tone when scolding, those sweet praises he would finally give when we followed his directions perfectly, how he could coat someone’s entire back or face with just one of his loads, the feeling of his huge handprint stinging over my ass if I stepped too far out of line, and – most importantly –  how he got Dew to listen to him like this. 
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stumblingoverchaos · 2 months
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From my Good Omens art journal. Collage, acrylic paint, gel plate printing, texture plate, sticker.
"Regrets collect like old friends Here to relive your darkest moments I can see no way, I can see no way And all of the ghouls come out to play And every demon wants his pound of flesh But I like to keep some things to myself I like to keep my issues drawn It's always darkest before the dawn
And I've been a fool, and I've been blind (I've been blind) I can never leave the past behind I can see no way, I can see no way I'm always dragging that horse around All of his questions, such a mournful sound Tonight, I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground ...And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back, so shake him off Ooh whoa oh
And I am done with my graceless heart So tonight, I'm gonna cut it out, and then restart ... But given half the chance, would I take any of it back? (Shake it off) It's a fine romance, but it's left me so undone (shake it off) It's always darkest before the dawn (shake it off) ... And I'm damned if I do, and I'm damned if I don't So here's to drinks in the dark, at the end of my road And I'm ready to suffer, and I'm ready to hope It's a shot in the dark aimed right at my throat 'Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me (oh whoa oh) ... But what the hell, I'm gonna let it happen To me, yeah..." -Florence + The Machine, "Shake It Off"
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littlerainyghoul · 3 months
Note
i saw your reblog and im here to say id love if youd write little rain with crutches
I'd absolutely love to! Sorry this took so long - I was really busy for a while hehe :]]]
Without further ado -
Crutches and Comfort
Summary: Rain collapses on the stairs, feeling regressed. Cumulus is there for the rescue.
Pairings: Regressed Rain, Caregiver Cumulus and Dewdrop.
Words: 1100
Slight CW for mention of injury.
Rain did not see that coming.
He started to feel small for a while when his legs started to give way. His usual confident and statured pose gave way to a shakier and smaller version of him. As he called out on his steps in his room, he collapsed on the stairs. 
“Mmmmmrph” Rain snuffed as he silently wanted to curse, his body descended on the freezing floor. He lay on the ground as pain crawled on his body, specifically the area where he landed - his right knee. 
Cumulus heard the drop and headed to the water ghoul's rescue. The air ghoullete's essence seemed to cradle Rain, offering support and reassurance. She was by his side in a matter of moments. 
“Rain, honey, are you okay?” She cooed softly, as she saw the collapsed ghoul on the cold, hard floor. 
“Mmmm, owie” was all that Rain could get himself to say. 
“You have an owie, Rain?" Cumulus eventually spoke, her voice raspy yet carrying an angelic tone laced with care and warmth.  
“Mmmmph. Yes” Rain continued to speak, his voice wavering with pain. He pointed to his knee where he landed on - "owie".
Cumulus gently lifted Rain in her ethereal embrace, carrying him as if he weighed nothing. Her form enveloped him, providing a soothing sensation that eased his discomfort.
“Let me see where it hurts, my sweet Rain,” Cumulus whispered. Rain winced slightly but allowed her to examine him. She gently laid them on the stairs as she examined their leg. 
"No visible injuries, dear" she softly cooed as she rubbed his knee, her touch gentle and healing. 
“Can...I have...my crutchies, Lus?" Rain spoke softly. 
”Of course, honey bunny" Cumulus stood up and disappeared for a few moments.
The room was adorned with a soft glow as Cumulus returned, holding the raincloud-stickered crutches. She carefully handed them to Rain, who gratefully took hold of them.
"Thankies, Lus," Rain murmured, using the crutches to prop himself up. Cumulus continued to hover around him, her ethereal presence radiating comfort.
Rain, with a determined yet cautious look on their face, gingerly placed the crutches under their arms. The raincloud-stickered handles were firm in his grip as he adjusted his stance, relying on them for support.  Each step was a deliberate dance of balance and coordination. With the crutches firmly planted, Rain shifted their weight. He moved forward tentatively, the sound of the rubber tips meeting the floor punctuating his efforts.
"Feeling a bit small there, Rain?" Cumulus inquired, her words dripping with genuine concern and care.
“mmm...yeah..." Rain murmured after a moment. "Owie. It still really hurts" he continued to speak, as shifted his weight back and forth.
Cumulus remained attentive, her raspy yet soothing voice offering a constant stream of comfort. "Take it slow, my sweet Rainy. We'll get through this together," she reassured, the soft glow in the room casting a calming ambiance as Rain continued carrying himself on the crutches supported by the care and warmth of Cumulus.
She leaned in, planting soft kisses on their forehead, each one carrying a touch of healing and comfort. 
"There, there, Rainy," she cooed, her voice wrapping around him like a soothing melody. "Let these kisses bring you some peace and healing. Now, how about we go on the couch with your stuffies and let you rest?" 
"Yay, Lus" Rain continued, as he tried to steady is voice a little bit more. 
Cumulus, with the same ethereal grace that defined her every movement, led Rain to the cozy embrace of the couch. As they settled in, Cumulus conjured a soft blanket, blue with rainclouds, draping it over Rain with gentle tenderness and ease. The room retained its warm glow, and the air felt lighter, infused with a sense of serenity. She took a seat next to the tiny water ghoul, as she let them wrap their arms around her. 
Rain, nestled on the couch with Cumulus, his head laid on her chest, as he heard her heartbeat, only raising their head when they spotted Dewdrop passing by. 
Dewdrop had a look of concern on his face as he witnessed the scene before him. Walking over, Dewdrop greeted them with a gentle ripple of fire that sparkled in the soft glow of the room.
"Hey there, Rain. What happened?" Dewdrop inquired, their voice echoing in the room. He noticed Rain shivering slightly, his eyes wide open. 
"Fell down the stairs. Am small" Rain spoke quietly, and gently, as he nuzzled himself against Cumulus once more, trembling. 
"Aww, are you cold, Rainbow?" Dewdrop couldn't help but aquire.
Cumulus, with a grin on her face extended a welcoming gesture to Dewdrop. "Join us, Dew. Rain could use the company. Besides,
you're literally a walking heater" 
Dewdrop, embracing the opportunity, pounced onto the sofa next to Rain, wrapping his fiery arm around the water ghoul and stroking his hair with gentle warmth. 
“Can...I have my...stuffie?“ Rain whispered, a vulnerable request that hung in the air. Cumulus, with a tender smile, gestured to the surrounding area, where the plush companions awaited.
"Of course, my sweet," she replied, her voice filled with warmth and understanding.
Cumulus conjured a shark plush, and nestled it beside Rain on the couch. Resting on the fluffy shark was Rain's favorite stuffie, a small water droplet plush with a smile that seemed to radiate comfort.
Rain nodded, a sense of gratitude washing over him. The trio—Rain, Cumulus, and Dewdrop—formed a unique synergy, a harmonious blend of air, water and fire, offering comfort and companionship. In the hushed moments that followed, the room became a sanctuary, where the troubles of the outside world seemed to fade away, leaving only the gentle sounds of raindrops and the ethereal glow that enveloped them in a protective embrace.
As the cacoon of warmth gently embraced the room, Rain, feeling the weight of weariness, snuggled closer to the plushie, as well as his companions on the couch. The warmth emanating from Cumulus, the soft glow of Dewdrop's body and the tales of resilience worked like a lullaby, soothing not just the lingering pain in Rain's knee but also cradling their soul into the land of sleep.
"Mmrph, might eep" Rain felt himself say, as he softly purred on the couch.
Cumulus, noticing the signs of drowsiness in Rain's eyes, continued to weave a gentle breeze around them, creating an atmosphere that whispered of dreams and tranquility. Dewdrop, with a soft crackling sound, adjusted his flames to emit a warmth that mirrored the coziness of a hearth.
With a contented sigh, Rain allowed themselves to fully surrender to the embrace of slumber. 
Cumulus, with a tender smile, extended an ethereal touch to Rain's forehead, planting a gentle kiss that carried the essence of care. "Rest well, sweet. May your dreams be as gentle as a summer rain."
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everybodyshusband · 10 months
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Do you have any thoughts on regressed Aether or Mountain? *shoves a bikkie into your pocket and runs to work*
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thank you for the bikkie, troob !! <3 and thank you both for the asks !! i'm combining your asks (i hope that's alright) and this'll be one big ol' post about my current hcs for regressed ghouls :D
(under the cut)
~
when he’s regressed, aether is maybe around 7-ish years old (he and mountain are the two ghouls that don't tend to regress quite as young as the others). he likes kid’s cereals and orange juice for breakfast, and he’s always ridiculously sleepy in the mornings (some things don't change; he's ridiculously sleepy every morning, especially when he isn't regressed). he pretends to be too old and mature to hold cirrus’ hand, but if she thinks he needs a hand to hold, she knows how to trick him into it (usually with a "oh, aeth, this movie's really scary, isn't it? can you hold my hand and keep me safe?" when the scarier scenes in his favourite movies come on). his favourite game is doctors, and all he needs to do to get a playmate is pull the cutest little puppy dog eyes on swiss before the multi ghoul is dramatically collapsing to the ground with a cry of "oh, no, doctor aether! i've got a boo-boo on my knee, can you fix it??"
mountain tends to regress to 10 or 11 years old. he still loves his garden, and could spend all day digging for worms and climbing trees all around the abbey's grounds. he could live off of those chocolates that look like rocks, but he also can, and will, with zero regrets, sneak into primo's garden and eat his vegetables right off of the plant (most of primo's broccoli plants have ghoul teeth-shaped bites taken out of them, right in the centre). his favourite days out are picnics in the woods, especially with rain and cumulus. they'll sit on the picnic blanket and make daisy chains for each other and mountain while the earth ghoul pretends to go on important expeditions around the forest (all within sight of his supervising ghouls, but don't tell that to mountain) and excitedly comes back every so often for a snack, a daisy chain, and to recount his adventures.
i've thought/written about regressed rain quite a lot, (and my hcs for them keep changing, haha!) but in my defence, he's just so stinking cute, and the rest of his pack thinks so too. they consistently regress to about 3 or 4 years old, and he is absolutely obsessed with dinosaurs. he doesn't actually know a lot about dinosaurs, but he can talk about how cool they are for hours and hours if he's asked. they love hanging out with swiss when they're regressed because they insist that "swissy" gives the best hugs and loves rain's dinosaur plushies the most out of everyone. he tends to get a lot of pain in his legs when he's small because he toddles around with his feet turned in and that position makes his legs hyperextend a lot more than usual, but not to worry! they have a special set of crutches they use when they're regressed that are covered in ribbons and dinosaur stickers and coloured foam to help keep them feeling small even when they're using adult sized crutches (if he's wandering around on his own, he tends to forget about the crutches, but if he's with the other ghouls, they'll usually remember for him). i'm sure there's more i could say about regressed rain but i'll leave it at that for now :)
dewdrop's regressed age is a bit of a mix. some days he's more of a toddler and other times he's an infant (he's also been known to regress to the same age as aether, but that hasn't happened very often). he's very clingy, always needing hugs or a hand to hold or a touch of some kind to be in a good mood. when he isn't regressed he has an oral fixation and that doesn't change when he's little; he loves his dummies and teethers (he has little dummy clips for them that slip around his neck so he doesn't have to worry about holding onto a soother when he isn't using it) and if he's ever without one then something's not right. when he's an infant, he loves cuddling with cumulus. he'll sit on her lap for hours and hours, cuddling up with her and sleeping for as long as she'll let him (he's a bit like a cat in that aspect; once he sits himself on her lap, cumulus knows she won't be able to move for a good few hours)
no one has a clue as to where swiss gets his energy from. whether he's an older toddler or a child, he loves moving around, especially dancing (when he's regressed it's less of a dance and more of a wiggle but shh). ...that's the extent of my current hcs for him really, the little guy just really loves to boogie KJSFHJKDH he also really loves squeezy yoghurts and fruit pouches
(i still don't know what to call him, but) the new ghoul regresses quite small. either a really young toddler or an infant. they're not a big fan of dummies/pacis (whatever you want to call them) but they love teethers. he'll sink his teeth into one of those bad boys and be happy for the rest of the day (they're one of those babies that barely chews on the teether. they'll just kind of have it in their mouth and gnaw on it softly with their mouth still mostly open). he also loves snuggling up with the ghoulettes, but he's quite attached to zephyr, too! they'll curl up in zephyrs lap and let the old air ghoul read to them softly until they fall asleep.
~
i think that's about it !! i've only thought about the ghoulettes and other era ghouls as caregivers rather than regressors, but if i come up with any regressor hcs for those guys i'll put them in the reblogs :)
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rrxnjun · 2 years
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just saying ;; lyy
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pairing: liu yangyang x fem!reader genre: college au | comedy, fluff, angst wc: 11.6k (11.602) playlist: just saying - 5 seconds of summer ; 21 questions - waterparks ; maniac - conan gray ; perfume - lovejoy ; i want u bad - r5 ; gloom boys - waterparks warnings: swearing, a mention of cheating
you got a new boyfriend. in yangyang’s eyes, he’s a total loser, and all your friends tell you that he’s got no future. they all like him, though... and so in a desperate plan, jealousy takes over and liu yangyang executes his masterplan: he has to make you two break up. all because he could treat you better than him. just saying though...
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i. you got a boyfriend and he's a total loser
Slurping on his banana flavored boba, while making a noise that has successfully annoyed everyone at the table– Renjun the most, it seems, by the way he glares and kicks the other boy under the table with much force– Yangyang looks around the sprously-crowded study room and clears his throat, as if his presence wasn’t well-known already. 
“So,” he starts, making sure at least someone’s eyes are on him before he proceeds and asks the crucial question– the question that’s still keeping him at this place, the question that’s been burning at the tip of his tongue for the past 20-or-so minutes. “Is Y/N not coming?” 
Your best friend looks up from her textbook, the same one she’s been aimlessly staring into for the past 20 minutes, rolling her eyes at him and heaving out a heavy sigh. Yangyang doesn’t know if the sigh is addressed to the stupidity of his question or not, but he’s willing to find out as he only jabs more and raises up his eyebrows in question, making Ryujin answer his question faster. 
The answer is a simple ‘No’, followed by a tight-lipped smile sent his way as the girl looks back to her textbook again and furrows her brows with much despair. Yangyang doesn’t blame her, because from the look of it, it looks like Ryujin is trying to cramp some Physics into that bleached head of hers, and even though Yangyang is a linguistics major, he can only imagine how annoying and difficult all those numbers mixed with letters can be to memorize. 
The reply he was given is not enough for him, though. Don’t get me wrong, it would be more than enough for anyone else– for anyone normal, it seems– but Yangyang doesn’t even want to attend the study group he’s sitting with right now. The truth is, he’s only going because you’re there. And if you’re not there, then the whole purpose of sitting in the small room at the very end of the college campus is a waste of time for him– a waste of time he’s not willing to spend when he has one more season of Tokyo Ghoul to rewatch now that he has Netflix. Yes, it’s the account he stole from Dejun. But still. A free Netflix account is a free Netflix account…
Liu Yangyang knows you as the resident smart girl. That’s not all, though– it’s simply the way he got to know you, and it’s hard to peel that sticker off now. You were the only person that replied to him in the class group chat when he asked if someone could tutor him on the last topic of his Math exam last year– he quickly dropped the class the next semester, but he really needed the extra credit back then. Since then, you two have been meeting every Wednesday in the same small room at the end of the plain-white corridor in the Biology building– the only one that’s free at this time. Yangyang quickly fell into liking you. It wasn’t hard at all, if you ask him; you’re lively and confident, you always have something to say, and most of all, you always laugh at his jokes. Yangyang just can’t not like someone that laughs at his jokes. It strokes his ego just right, since the amount of disses he gets for his jokes from his roommate Dejun is just the right amount to keep him humble. 
Yangyang likes to think he lured you in with the weekly dose of strawberry chocolate he always brought you as a payment for your tutoring services; because as soon as he dropped the class and told you he didn’t need the tutoring anymore, you brought up the idea of him attending your small study group– which, essentially, is just your group of friends hanging out every Wednesday with textbooks in their hands, pretending to study for the exams together. 
Yangyang doesn’t know your friends and he’s sure as hell that he won’t be able to learn anything if you’re sitting in the seat next to him, but it’s you who we’re talking about. 
Of course he said yes.
And so when on one Wednesday, when he’s sitting with all your friends, that are somehow now his distant friends (he wouldn’t really call them his friends, still. He hasn’t embarrassed himself in front of them that many times just yet), and you’re not there to be his eye candy, he doesn’t see the purpose of it all anymore. He’s a curious guy by nature, though; and he’s always curious about you.
“Why?”
Now it’s Renjun’s time to sigh and roll his eyes. Yangyang is starting to think that it’s at him, but when Lia snickers from the other side of the table and mumbles something under her nose, he’s enlightened with an information that hits him right in the gut and makes him want to throw up and scream.
“She’s with her new boyfriend,” Ryujin replies, making all of them murmur in agreement– or is it disagreement? Yangyang isn’t quite sure anymore.
“...boyfriend?” Yangyang repeats, as if he wasn’t sure if he heard your friends right.
“Yeah,” Renjun nods, “he’s a total loser, though. I can’t believe she passed on her stupid study group on Wednesday just because he insisted on a date today.”
“Just for the record, I wouldn’t even be coming if I didn’t have a test tomorrow, that’s now disgusted with her actions I am,” Lia mutters, making Yangyang widen his eyes in surprise. 
“Who even is he?” Yangyang asks. 
“I dunno,” Ryujin shrugs, closing her textbook shut– a sign that she’s fully immersed in talking about your boyfriend behind his back now, “he dropped out, apparently? He’s got no future. I think she met him like three weeks ago and they’re already dating, can you believe that? I don’t like him at all. The last time I saw him, he didn’t even say hi back to me. Like I wasn’t even there!” 
Yangyang gasps, shaking his head in disbelief. Why would you date anyone like that? Where did that guy even come from? As far as he knew, he was one of your closest friends– why wasn’t he notified about a new guy in your circle? 
“That’s ridiculous, dude,” he mumbles, furrowing his brows.
“Yeah, I don’t get it,” Lia shrugs, “and to think that we all literally had a bet that she’s gonna date you in a few…” 
“Huh?” Yangyang opens his eyes wide, gulping down his built-up saliva. Did he hear her right? Dating? You two?
“Yeah,” Ryujin shrugs, “you just randomly appeared! We totally thought she had a crush on you, and don’t get me wrong, we were all for it, but it seems like we… were wrong.”
Yangyang hums, nodding. He didn’t know that everyone thought this about you two… Well, he can’t say he doesn’t like it, no– he very much adores the fact that your friends thought you had a crush on him, but it stings even more now when he realizes that your friends liked him enough to accept him into their circle, while your new boyfriend hasn’t even tried. 
He’ll ignore the bet part for now. 
“Yeah, seems like it,” Yangyang agrees, “what’s that guy’s name anyway?”
“Hyunho, or something?” Renjun replies, a look of disgust written on his face, “we stalked his Insta for a bit. He’s got a profile full of cringey gym pics and pics from when he went fishing.”
“Fishing,” Yangyang repeats.
“Yeah man, we told you it’s bad.”
Shaking his head in disbelief and putting his head into his hands, Yangyang lets out one of many sighs shared around the table, biting his bottom lip. He’ll make sure to stalk that guy when he comes home– just to see if there’s anything your friends didn’t mention that is a walking red flag. Who knows, maybe… maybe he still has time to talk you out of it. 
Maybe.
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ii. he barely takes you out and if he does he's late
Trying to catch his breath as the crowd finally leaves the café he works at– the time period between 2 and 2:35pm is always the busiest– he hangs his head low and curses under his breath. Only god knows just how much Yangyang despises his job as a barista in the campus café; and that’s only because he won’t admit it to anyone that dares to laugh at him and make jokes about it. Yes, he comes to work every day with disgust coating his senses, but at least he gets paid. And he really needs that money.
A cheerful voice breaks him out of his slumber, a voice he would, on regular circumstances, want to strangle to death, making him look up again and switch the glare for a fake smile.��
A fake smile that quickly shifts into an honest one, when he realizes who’s standing in front of him in their full glory.
“Can I get the usual?” you grin, making him shake his head in disbelief.
“Y/N, you don’t have an usual, this is like the second time you’ve been here,” he notes, battling the grin that’s wanting to settle onto his lips. It’s easy to smile for him when you’re around, but he caught his jaw being in pain the last time you two hung out, and he’s not willing to live through that experience again, since it sure was humbling.
“Well, I’m making my last order my usual, then. That’s how it works, doesn’t it?” you smile, making him mockingly roll his eyes at you.
“Sure, whatever you say.”
Yangyang could lie and tell you that he doesn’t remember what you ordered the first time you were here– it was right after his exams and you were too impatient to wait for him to tell you if he passed them or not, since, and this is an indirect quotation, you have to be there for him just in case he failed and needs mental support. He passed his exams and your visit only added to his euphoria, as he chatted away with you until he had to close the café and walked you home. So, Yangyang could lie and tell you that he doesn’t vividly remember that day up to the smallest detail, but he’s not that much of a good liar, after all, so he won’t even try.
He remembers your order down to the chocolate shavings on top of the whipped cream that’s decorating your favorite iced caramel macchiato, and so he wastes no time in turning around and preparing your drink as you sit at the tall bar stool and wait for him to get it ready for you.
“You always work. I had to run over here just so I could hang out with you,” you mumble, a teasing pout sitting at your lips that Yangyang catches when he briefly turns around to peek at your face. 
“Yeah, well, my rent is not gonna get paid by itself, so,” he shrugs, swirling the whipped cream on top of your drink, getting ready to sprinkle the chocolate shavings delicately to the peak of the white, cloudy mess. He briefly imagines putting a cherry on top, just because you distantly remind him of cherries, in a way, before he mentally cringes at his thoughts and shoos them out of his lovesick brain.
“I get that,” you note, “but do you even have time for yourself?” 
“Of course I do,” Yangyang snickers, finished with your drink now, bringing it to you. He does have time for himself, of course– and so what if it’s in the deadly hours of night and on Wednesdays. If he’s lucky, he’s free on every other Friday too, depending on if Chaeryeong is free to cover his shift. And he’s free on weekends! That’s plenty of time.
“You’re always locked up here.”
Yangyang rolls his eyes at you. “It has its privileges.”
“Like what?”
“Like… if I wasn’t here as often, Johnny would kick my ass if he saw me chatting away with our customers,” he shrugs, seeing you snicker. That, and he also gets to study when the café isn’t as busy. They take turns with Hendery when he’s around, but he mostly just slacks off in the back, pretending to ‘stack up on coffee beans’. 
“Okay, then,” you absently nod, taking a sip of your drink. A blissful expression overtakes your features, hinting that Yangyang did his job right and your caramel macchiato is surely one of the best things you’ve ever tasted. He wonders if it’s addicting enough to make you visit him at work more often– he wouldn’t be opposed to it even on the busiest days of them all. 
“What brings you here?” he asks, leaning on the counter. His legs are starting to hurt from walking around so much– damn Mondays; they’re always the busiest. 
“What, I can’t visit my friend at work?” you gasp, acting offended by his question.
“You can, you can,” he brings up his hands into the air in a defensive act, “you’ve just never done it before.”
Taking another sip of your drink, you look almost guilty as you nod and sigh. “That’s true,” you nod, “but… I’m kind of… waiting for someone?”
Already preparing for the impact of your answer, Yangyang curls his toes in anticipation. “For who?”
“Hyunho,” you smile, “my boyfriend. We’re going on a date, and I figured that we could stop by to get some coffee first, and since I know this café is famous for its good coffee,” you note as you point towards Yangyang, as if to praise the boy for doing his job right, “I invited him here.”
“Oh,” Yangyang nods, subconsciously pulling away from you, “I didn’t know you had a boyfriend.”
A knowing look is sent his way, making shivers run down his spine as you snicker. “You were with Ryujin and Renjun on Wednesday. Don’t try to tell me you didn’t know.”
“Okay, so maybe I did know, but all I’m saying is that I didn’t know before. It’s… kind of sudden, you know,” he mumbles, trying to sound the least suspicious he can. It’s not every day that you talk to your crush about their new boyfriend; Yangyang never thought he’d live to the day when this happens (not that you’re not pretty or interesting enough to get a boyfriend. He just somehow always assumed that you’re gonna be single and free for him to simp over forever), but here we are.
“Yeah, well,” you mumble sheepishly, “it just kind of… happened.”
Yangyang hums in response, nodding. What else is there for him to say? He feels like all the vocabulary in his head– in all 5 languages he knows– escaped his brain and is standing somewhere in the corner of this café, laughing at him and pointing their fingers at just how embarrassing the whole situation is. 
“How did you two even meet?” he asks, playing with the stack of plastic cups to his left, as if the action was meant to mask his over-interest in the topic that is your new boyfriend.
“At a party,” you say.
His eyes scan you up and down. By the way your eyes avert to the side when your eyes meet, you look a little ashamed of your answer. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing bad about going to parties, and Yangyang would never judge you for getting loose and letting your inner party animal shine, but you and parties just… don’t go together. And you know that, by the way you quickly jump into self-defense.
“You know Mark, right?” you start blabbering, not even sparing a second to let Yangyang absently nod in agreement, “well, it was his party. And Hendery was invited, and you know my friend Yuna is into him, right? And since she didn’t want to go alone– and I don’t blame her, parties are fucking scary for adolescent girls– I, as her good friend, offered that I’ll go with her! It was only a one-time occurrence. But as I was there, this guy talked to me in the kitchen as I was waiting for Yuna to come back from the toilet, which, just by the way, she didn’t– she met Hendery on the way back and they made out in one of the rooms on the second floor– and I was so bored and it was still too early for me to come home and I was supposed to drive Yuna home, so I flirted with him,, and… and… here we are,” you complete your little storytime with an overly-exaggerated hand movement. 
Quickly taking your drink into your own hands, as if to occupy yourself as you wait for your friend’s answer, you peek at him from under your eyelashes and blink a few times in anticipation. 
“Hendery made out with Yuna?” Yangyang repeats, mouth slightly agape in shock.
“That’s all you got from this conversation?” 
“I- I mean that’s… that’s really great for you, yeah, but Hendery and Yuna? In what universe do these two belong together?” 
Hendery and Yuna just… aren’t the best combination. It’s the one Yangyang wouldn’t even think of creating. It’s like chocolate and pickles. Where Yuna is the sweet chocolate and Hendery is the weird, crunchy pickle. And even though Yangyang has tried this combination before, he for sure didn’t like it– just another sign that these two do not belong together under any circumstances.
“This universe, apparently,” you shrug, sighing, “anyways, it all happened really quickly. I didn’t even have time to tell you that I was seeing someone, I’m sorry.”
Yangyang only hums. Well, what else is he going to do? Be mad at you? For… what, exactly? For not telling him about your new find? For not telling him about going to a party? That would be stupid. The only person he has every right to be mad at is himself, because even after hearing your story and seeing the stars in your eyes light up at the mention of your boyfriend’s name, Yangyang just can’t seem to feel bitter in his chest and just a little bit envious of the position that Hyunho is in after 2 weeks, while Yangyang has been pining over you for at least the last 6 months. It’s not fair. 
“It’s okay,” he mumbles, “I’m happy for you.”
The smile that overtakes your features is one that would make even the shittiest of days feel like a fairytale. The slight tug of your lips upwards and the little scrunch you do with your nose is a sight Yangyang’s seen multiple times since getting to know you, but even after all this time, he feels like even a baseball bat could not hit him harder than this. 
No, he can’t be bitter that you got a new boyfriend that’s not him. At least not in front of you. 
“Thanks,” you grin, “you’re actually the first one to say that, so… it means a lot to me.”
He freezes. It hasn’t occurred to him before just how much the words of others could affect your relationship. In the bottom of his heart, he thought that just being in love with the person is enough to be happy– but it seems like the opinion of your friends and family matters too. 
So Yangyang decides to support you, even if he might be the only one in your circle to do so. 
“Where is he? He’s like 15 minutes late,” you mumble. Yangyang furrows his eyebrows at you, shrugging.
“There’s a lot of traffic around this time.”
You purse your lips, looking at the time on your phone screen– which, just by the way, is still decorated by a picture of your friend group all out on the fare, which makes Yangyang happy to see– and finish your drink. Yangyang assumed you were going to take it with you to your date, since you rarely drink more than one coffee a day. 
“Do you want another one?” he asks, still.
“No, I’m just gonna wait for Hyunho to arrive,” you tightly smile. 
Minutes slowly pass as Yangyang cleans the counter and throws out the plastic cup that was used to hold your drink, making coffee for the lonely couple that came a few minutes after you ordering two iced americanos. He doesn’t want to pay much attention to it, he really doesn’t, but the clock sitting right above his head as he scoops the ice into the two cups reminds him of time passing.
Three minutes, five… seven… fifteen. 
Another fifteen minutes pass before the door opens with a subtle hum of a ring, revealing a man in a leather jacket passing through the entrance without a single word, nearing the tall barstool you’re sitting at. Yangyang can only assume it’s your boyfriend by the way he wraps a protective arm around your waist and greets you as silently as he can, as if he didn’t want to disturb the other customers.
“Where were you all this time?” you ask, and Yangyang can only faintly hear the subtle disappointment in your voice before you’re cut off by your boyfriend’s low voice. 
“Traffic.”
“Okay,” Yangyang sees you sadly smile from the corner of his eye, a cheerful grin overtaking your features when your eyes meet, “do you want to order anything? This is my friend-”
“No, I’m fine. Let’s go somewhere else,” he says, not even meeting eyes with who you meant to introduce to him, tugging you off the barstool instead. 
Yangyang doesn’t have much time to say goodbye to you before you disappear behind the entrance, only earning himself a wave as you hop by your boyfriend’s side and attentively listen to what he has to say. 
Yangyang thinks that it might be harder to pretend that he’s happy for you now. And it’s only getting started.
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iii. all your friends tell you that he's got no future, but they like me
“Can you believe that? He literally dragged her out of the café! I legit wanted to run after him and throw an americano down his back,” he rambles, aggressively wiping the counter with a smelly cloth that should have been washed like a week ago, “and when I asked her the other day after class how the date went, she went oddly quiet. If that’s not suspicious, then I don’t know what is.”
Throwing the damp cloth down to the floor– to the right corner, far enough to not make anyone trip over it behind the counter– Yangyang looks up to find Dejun and Renjun, the two Juns of his nightmares, as he likes to call them, staring at him with blank eyes and disbelief written all over their faces. 
Sure, no one liked your new boyfriend. No one’s gotten as violent with their thoughts about him just yet, and Yangyang fears that he might just have gone too far.
“Okay, well, I can see why you’re so furious about it, but… it’s her relationship,” Dejun shrugs, taking a sip of his coffee, “why do you care so much?”
“Because she’s my friend!” Yangyang gasps, mouth hanging slightly agape from shock. 
“Yeah, and? We’re friends, but I wouldn’t give two fucks if your new girl was toxic or some shit. That’s all your decision, mate,” Dejun shrugs and fully enjoys the taste of the hot beverage on his tongue. Dejun is the only person Yangyang knows that likes their coffee hot, even if it feels like a sauna outside. He never really grasped why he’s like that, he figures Dejun might just be a psychopath of some sort; but seeing him now with his blank white cup steaming into his face, Yangyang feels the utter masculine urge of splashing the contents right into his face. Or his own. Either one works.
“Well, thanks for looking out for me, I guess,” Yangyang furrows his brows and rolls his eyes in irony, “Renjun, can I get any support in this topic? You care about Y/N just as much as I do.”
“Well, I don’t know about that-” Renjun mutters under his breath, making the younger boy (even though it’s only a few months; Renjun likes to mention their ‘age difference’ every time he wants to take the upper hand, though, so it’s now kind of fixated in Yangyang’s brain as well) scrunch up his face in question.
“What was that?”
“Nothing,” he peeps, “but yeah, that dude’s a lost case. I overheard  Y/N telling Ryujin that he invited her to sleep over at his house on Friday,” Renjun mutters, making Yangyang fume even harder with built-up frustration. 
“Who does that after a month of dating!” 
The brutal gaze he is sent by Renjun is one that could make anyone’s back shiver with terror. The little one can get scary sometimes, it seems. “Oh, so you’re conservative,” he sings, voice almost imitating Kris Jenner in a conversation with her dearest daughter Khloé about the wearingness of thongs in public.
“Excuse you, I’m not,” Yangyang defends himself, putting his hands to his hips in a stance quite similar to his mother’s back when she used to nag him for not washing his dishes after eating when he was younger.
Dejun’s eyes drift slowly from one person to the other, enjoying his friends’ heated debate over a man he’s never once seen in his whole entire life, feeling very much like in an episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians. 
“Well, I think it’s reasonable. They’re dating,” Dejun mumbles, testing the waters with his remark.
Like a sleeping volcano, Yangyang suddenly erupts, arms waving in the air and all, looking almost comical with his animated screeches. “That means they’re gonna fuck! And what if the condom breaks? Oh no. Worse. What if they don’t wear it at all and he doesn’t pull out fast enough and then she has to carry his babies?!” 
The shriek of horror is followed by a fit of laughter coming from the other side of the communication canal; the only one not finding the whole situation funny is Yangyang, though, heavily thinking of how even your pretty genes won’t outlaw the weird asymmetry in your boyfriend’s face. He quickly catches himself and rolls his eyes on his own snarky comment, forcing it out of his own head– he has no right to judge a man that’s, admittedly, a few heads taller than him and broader in the shoulders. 
“You’re overthinking it.”
“Well, you have to be prepared for every possible outcome!” Yangyang mumbles, noticing new customers arriving through the glass door of the café. 
One last glare is sent to his friends’ direction as he spills out his last comment, the discomfort he feels with the whole situation very much apparent on his face. “You’ll stop laughing when the day comes and I’ll be the only one that can say ‘told you so’, you fuckers.”
The smile he offers the customers standing behind the counter is so different to the expression he had before, one would think there was a shift in reality. 
Thank god Yangyang is a good actor.
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iv. got a big house, he says he lives alone
Liu Yangyang is not a stalker. He’s not stalking your boyfriend. That’s not at all what’s happening when he sees him at the grocery store one day and eyes him the whole journey to his car, silently following him with the bag of groceries buckled in to his passenger seat, driving down the block and praying to god that your boyfriend doesn’t see him in the rear window, or worse– notice that it’s him that’s, coincidentally, following his every turn. 
That’s not stalking… right?
He doesn’t even know what he’s trying to prove here– surely, he can’t know much about your boyfriend just by simply staring at him from his car window. He can’t tell what he’s listening to on the radio– although, he can tell it’s not Nicki Minaj, for he’s not vibing as hard as Yangyang is when he almost forgets to take a turn left when your boyfriend’s car disappears out of his view for a split second. He can’t tell if your boyfriend is worth trusting behind the wheel either; Yangyang isn’t even worth trusting behind the wheel anyway. He’s got his driver’s license recently and already forgot what some of the road signs mean. He’s no judge in that.
Yangyang doesn’t know what he’s trying to prove– to anyone, but mostly to himself– when he follows your boyfriend home one day, but you could say there’s something in the universe that desperately wants him to win, in some way. A silent hint of intuition running through his bones, a spark of hope that lights him up as he feels tingling in the tips of his fingers, anticipation finally reaching the top as he sees your boyfriend park in the driveway, slowing down and waiting at the end of the street.
He goes unnoticed. Your new boyfriend must be blind, Yangyang wonders, silently chuckling to himself as he silently spectates and watches the scene in front of him unravel.
Hyunho walks out of the car– seemingly, an innocent act. The man himself walks over to the trunk, taking out the bag of groceries he’s bought at the store not too long ago, smashing the car door shut with such force that it makes Yangyang wince in terror. He surely hopes he’s not this harsh when he operates with your body, though, he doesn’t like to think about his touch on you, so he bats that thought away with a blink of his eyelashes and focuses on his investigation.
Angels, spirit guides, god… someone must be on his side today. He’s not crazy. He doesn’t usually follow people home. He’s not saying that it’s not fun, of course– it’s just something he’s never picked up before, preferring to focus his time on other, much more interesting hobbies. There must be a reason why he’s here– and the reason is unleashing right in front of his eyes.
The eureka moment suddenly hits him with much force, his lips parting, as if to scream a winning “Ha!” at the top of his lungs. 
He is a good listener. Well, most times, that is– when it’s you he’s listening to, though, he’s quite sure his memory is writing down each and every single word that comes out of your mouth, paying attention to detail and punctuation. He’s your number one fan, after all. 
And with that in mind, he remembers you telling him trivial facts about your boyfriend. 
That he’s strong (Yangyang’s definitely stronger), that he doesn’t like his coffee hot (one of the only normal things about him, it seems), that he’s super sweet, honest and loyal. You’ve also told him that he lives alone– in a small house with a brown roof, identical to the one he’s standing in front of right now, with the bag of groceries in his hold. 
Here he goes– the thing he’s been sent here for, the fact that he was supposed to acquire in this quest. 
Out of the house, a middle-aged woman strides her way forward, hair an identical shade of brown to Hyunho, who is only pointing an annoyed look at her through his dark eyes, the shape similar to the woman’s. She takes the groceries inside as your boyfriend locks the car, both of them disappearing in the comfy-looking house.
The ending seems anti-climactic, sure. Yangyang’s learned something about your boyfriend right now, though– something he’s sure he can use against him, if he really wanted to. 
“Hyunho lives alone, in like, a super pretty house just a few blocks away. Can you believe that?” your voice rings in his head, making him dryly chuckle and shake his head in disbelief.
That’s not true– his mum was home– and your boyfriend is a cheeky, little liar.
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v. you should leave him, 'cause it really makes me sick
In another one of many meetings with his only friends– Renjun and Dejun– Yangyang complains. It’s the thing he likes the most, and it’s also the thing he’s the best at, so no one can really blame him for taking the time off his day to add every single, most unnecessary comment to each thing that’s just slightly annoyed him for the last week. It’s his second nature. A human instinct, even. 
Most of the topics he brings up when he complains, though, include your boyfriend, in some way. It’s been a few months since you two started dating, and everyone’s gotten used to it by now, it seems, but Liu Yangyang is a one pretentious fucker– he can’t let things go as easily. 
Not when you’re still, pretty much the only topic of his interest.
He should really get some new hobbies.
“And so- And so I drove past his house, and his mum was home! He’s a total liar. Can’t believe how Y/N can stand him-”
“You stalked Hyunho?” Renjun cuts him off, pointing a concerned look towards his friend, eyebrows all furrowed and bottom lip trapped between his teeth. He surely knows how to make someone feel bad about their actions– Yangyang should learn how to make that look the next time Renjun’s over, to be honest.
“I didn’t stalk him, come on. I just happened to see where he was going, and I just so happened to follow him and see his mum walk out of the house where he supposedly lives alone!” Yangyang rages, throwing his hands up into the air.
“She could have been there for a visit, for all we know…” Dejun mutters, opening a can of coke and sitting with them at the kitchen table. He chooses to sit opposite Renjun, because with how furiously Yangyang operates with the chopsticks in between his fingers, there’s a high chance that the take-out might end up in Dejun’s hair. And he really doesn’t want that. He washed it yesterday.
“Nah, bro, I’m telling you. He’s a bastard.”
With a roll of his eyes, Renjun sighs. “Just because he lives with his mum? It’s okay to live with your mum.”
“Do you live with your mum?” Yangyang argues, raising up his eyebrows.
“I don’t, but I’m just saying that if I did, it wouldn’t be such a problem-”
“It’s not just that, though! There’s so much that goes beyond the surface. One, he lies about who he lives with. Two, he always makes Y/N wait. Trust me, she’s been to the café at least 3 times now, waiting for him, and every single time, he arrived at least 30 minutes late. Three, he always makes her pay at the restaurant-”
“How would you know?”
“Ryujin told me. Y/N told her after she promised not to tell anyone, but I got it out of her,” Yangyang quickly answers, seeing Dejun widen his eyes in surprise and disbelief.
“So much for girl code…”
“Four! He hasn’t hung out with us once in these months they’ve been together. Five. I don’t like his eyebrows. He looks like a prick-”
“That’s not a valid reason,” Renjun sighs, making Yangyang roll his eyes.
“Okay, sure,” he admits, chewing on the last bite of the take-out he brought home after ending his shift at the café, swallowing before he starts talking again, desperate to prove his point, “all I’m saying is that Y/N doesn’t seem happy with him. Think about it! When was the last time she’s hung out with us? When was the last time she laughed so hard she cried? Huh? The last time I checked, it’s been a few months, and before that, it was an everyday occurance,” Yangyang shrugs, proving that  he’s right– he always is.
“And neither of you like him anyway, so I don’t get why I’m the only one getting crucified for voicing my opinion!” 
“Well, just speaking about it with us won’t do anything. What do you even want from this? You want them to break up?” Renjun barks, pointing his chopsticks towards Yangyang, an annoyed expression sitting at the top of his face. 
“I mean…” Yangyang mumbles, averting his gaze from them.
He won’t admit to it. No, never in a million years– it’s enough that his friends still haven’t noticed the clear obsession in his eyes whenever he speaks about you. He truly cares about you, he does! And he means everything he’s saying about your new boyfriend. It’s not just jealousy shining through; even though he feels his blood boiling every time he sees you two together and his heart breaks a little every time you smile at him with just the right amount of lovesickness.
He can’t admit that he’d be much happier if you were single again– because that would mean that he could at least have a little bit of faith in himself, the smallest hint of hope that maybe, maybe if he tried hard enough, maybe if you suddenly woke up one day and magically liked him back, you could be his. 
This way, though, he knows he’s hopeless.
And he feels like a played-out love song every time he sees you with Hyunho (where you laugh at his unfunny jokes and he doesn’t meet your eye contact), but Yangyang knows that he could treat you so much better than your current boyfriend ever has.
“You know, if you really want them to break up, maybe you should do something about it,” Dejun shrugs, meeting Yangyang’s eye.
Something clicks inside of his brain, gears finally finding their right place in his pea-sized brain; magically looking like a squirrel high on caffeine when he chuckles under his breath, Liu Yangyang has a masterplan he needs to execute. 
Only if he knew that his actions have consequences– much bigger than he’d ever imagined. 
That’s a problem for another evening, though.
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vi. you don't need him, I'll help you get over it
Yangyang despises hipster cafés. Not only are they much different to the cafés he is used to– the one he works at, in particular– but the amount of plants surrounding him while indie music plays in the background surely can’t be enough to match the prices in the cheaply-made menu sitting at the top of the table. 
There’s no rush. No screaming of the orders. No weird smell coming from the back. This is not the campus café he is employed at, and even though he should be glad he is enjoying coffee somewhere else just because he simply can, there’s something inside of him yearning for the comfort of something he knows so dearly. 
You’re sitting in front of him, a sad face painted on your features. Of course you’re here– he wouldn’t be coming into a stupid hipster café if it wasn’t for you inviting him. The plants hanging above your head decorate your aura perfectly, though, and Yangyang simply can’t imagine spending his time with you in the half-empty, half-assed café at the very edge of your college campus anymore. This is where you belong, truly.
“What’s with the frown?” he asks almost a little too hesitantly, kicking you lightly in the shin under the table. You look up through your eyelashes, pointing your gaze towards him, a sad smile finding its way onto your face. Yangyang desperately wants to kick it away from its place– in his head, you’re only supposed to be smiling. There’s no place for a frown. 
“It’s… it’s nothing,” you chuckle, though the sound doesn’t seem as light-hearted as you meant it out to be. 
If there’s one thing about Yangyang, it’s that he’s annoying. Not in the bad way– he’s just that type of friend that constantly calls you when he wants to hang out, or endearingly keeps poking your sides when he wants your attention in a crowded place. He’s the one that keeps teasing you even though you’ve had enough. That can get a little overwhelming at times, sure, but in times like these, Yangyang chooses to put his annoyingness for a good cause. 
He keeps lightly kicking you under the table, a childish pout sitting at his lips. “Tell me.”
“I’m alright,” you roll your eyes, shaking your head in disbelief.
“I promise I won’t tell anyone. Come on! We’re practically best friends at this point, and we all need someone to listen to us at times. Spill it out,” he keeps nagging, adding a victorious poke to your hand sitting at the top of the table as well, as a bonus. 
Your eyes point towards one of the many plants in the café, the nervousness making you slowly crack the knuckles of your hands. “Fine,” you sigh, looking him dead in the eye, “but promise me you won’t tell anyone else, because god knows what they would tell me if they knew. I trust you with this, so don’t be a dick about it, okay?” 
A quick nod of his head and a fast nestle in his seat after, you’re taking a deep breath in and biting on the inside of your cheek as you open your mouth to speak. 
“So… There’s something worrying me… about Hyunho.”
Yangyang almost hears a siren ring inside of his ears, red flashing in front of his eyes as he nods, trying to gain his composure. Of course the problem is your boyfriend. If there wasn’t a problem with your boyfriend, Yangyang wouldn’t be here right now, sitting with you in a café. That’s the thing– you’re slowly starting to lose time for anyone else. Not that Yangyang’s salty about it… 
“What is it?”
“We were supposed to hang out yesterday,” you peep, averting your gaze from him, “and sometimes he comes late, that’s fine… I’ve gotten used to it by now, but… yesterday, he didn’t come at all. I tried texting him, ringing him, I tried everything, but he’s just ignoring me,” you ramble, a worried undertone coating your words as you chew on your bottom lip and look for comfort in Yangyang’s eyes, “and I know he’s fine because he sent out a stupid Snapchat streak this morning.”
Yangyang finds it hard to look for words that would comfort you right now. 
Sure, he hates that guy with everything he has in him, he hates his new haircut and he hates his voice when he hears him call you baby, but even with coming late, dropping out of college, lying about living alone and being ignorant to your friends, Yangyang never thought it would go this far.
All this time, he just thought he was blowing it out of proportion because of his teenage jealousy. 
But now, when you’re clearly distressed because of his actions, he feels like the stupid plan he had in his mind back when he hung out with Renjun and Dejun isn’t as crazy anymore. If it’s gonna help you in the long run, he’s gonna do it– and not think about the consequences.
“I’m so sorry,” he mumbles, chewing on his bottom lip, “I- I don’t really know what to say…”
“It’s fine,” you nod, “maybe I’m just too dramatic-”
“Oh don’t you dare say that,” Yangyang cuts you off. There’s no way he would let you think that your emotions aren’t valid. “Actually, there’s- there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”
Panic flashes in front of your eyes. He would even say it’s okay for you to panic– with what he has to say next, he can only prepare for the worst outcome. You’re already becoming him to talk with a hesitant nod of your head, and he can’t back out now, can he? 
“I… He’s cheating on you, Y/N.”
The world falls silent after his words. Your lips part in shock, your eyes get glossy. Yangyang can’t believe a word that came out of his mouth. Did he really get this desperate? Is he really such a dick?
Surely, he can’t be worse than the guy that left you hanging for a whole day… right?
“Are you- are you joking? Is this serious? Don’t prank me right now, Yangyang,” you mourn out, your bottom lip trembling. 
What else is there to say? With just an ever-so-honest nod of his head, Yangyang confirms the lie he made up in his sick, twisted mind– all because he can’t stand to look at you with someone else that isn’t him. 
What’s even worse is that even though you’re in pain, he secretly enjoys the way you curl into his chest when you cross the distance between the two of you and sit next to him in the booth, quietly sobbing into his shirt. 
He really fucked up, didn’t he?
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vii. he says he loves you, but it's all an act
“You did what?” Dejun stares at him in disbelief, mouth apart in shock. 
The thing is, Yangyang can’t deal with his emotions alone. Also, when he does something bad, like, really really bad, there’s no way he can deal with the despair that comes with the unbelievably heavy weight of guilt alone. Liu Yangyang also loves to overshare and complain. He won’t miss his once-in-a-lifetime chance now. 
His first victim? His own roommate– Xiao Dejun. He could go to Renjun, but he figures that might be too dangerous. Dejun doesn’t know you too well, so he’s not that interested in the whole case, and Yangyang’s quite sure that the fierce short boy would ignite like a match if he told him what he did, and even though he’s tiny, he can do a lot of damage. Yangyang can’t afford to get a black eye from Renjun. God knows, he might get it from Hyunho instead.
“Yeah, well-”
“Are you out of your mind? Why the fuck did you think this was a good idea?” Dejun bursts out, even forgetting to pause the TV show he’d been watching when Yangyang came into his room. 
“I didn’t think it was a good idea, per se, I just thought… I-” he mumbles, shooting his arms into the air in defeat, “I was just trying to do the good thing!”
Dejun looks at him with stone cold eyes. The laughing track coming out of the laptop’s speakers does nothing to lighten up the situation; Yangyang feels chills run down his spine as the reality of everything slowly sinks and his hands turn ice cold with misery.
“No, Yangyang,” Dejun shakes his head.
Raising up his eyebrows, Yangyang blinks at his roommate. “...what, no?”
“You weren’t trying to do the good thing here, you were just doing it for yourself,” Dejun mutters, sighing. There’s disappointment coating his words and Yangyang can’t believe how scolded and defeated he feels under the weight of his roommate’s words. He doesn’t take them seriously most of the time, so this argument only proves that he should really reflect on his actions. 
“How could I be doing it for myself? It’s not my relationship we’re talking about,” Yangyang rambles, shaking his head in disapproval.
“Yeah, and that’s the thing. It’s not your relationship, so why are you acting like it is? It’s not your place to lie about someone, however shitty they might be as a person, just to get them to break up! Again, you didn’t do this for her, you did this for yourself!” Dejun says, finally closing the laptop shut so the background noises don’t disturb the seriousness of the conversation. 
Yangyang feels as if he is being scolded by his teacher for cheating on his exam. It feels even worse, to be exact– and he didn’t think there could be a bigger humiliation than that.
“What do I gain from this, then? If I’m doing it for myself, as you keep repeating,” Yangyang rolls his eyes in irony, chuckling at the whole situation. If it’s getting to him, he won’t let it show to Dejun. For all he knows, he didn’t care until now, so what’s changed?
Shaking his head, the older boy rolls his eyes. “You don’t have to see them together anymore, and that’s enough for you. At least your little, jealous heart will be happy now.”
“I’m not-”
“Yangyang,” Dejun cuts him off, like many times before, “do you really think nobody noticed by now?”
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viii. 'cause I'm better than him, just saying
Sitting around in the park, his friends chatter away as he’s lost in thought and picks at the skin of his cuticles. Ryujin and Lia try to get his attention by talking about the new anime they’ve been watching, but there’s no use as his unfocused eyes only go through them and the smile he offers them is nowhere near an honest one. Renjun tries to drag him into a conversation by gossipping about Hendery and Yuna’s strange, but blossoming relationship, but he only chuckles at the news as his eyes drift away into the distance.
You’re not around– much like many times before, hidden away in the shade with Hyunho– but this time, Yangyang feels as if he’s the reason why you didn’t pay them a visit. It only takes a few days, hell– maybe even hours– to find out that he’s been lying, and the moment you get ahold of this information, it’s all going to get even harder for him. 
Pointing his gaze towards his beaten-up converse, he plucks the grass from its place under his body and twirls the stems between his fingers, head lost in all the possible scenarios that could occur when he sees you next.
You could slap him. He would even dare to say that he deserves it; he doubts he’d be mad at you if you tried to beat him up and curse at him in front of everyone. Maybe the shame would outdo the great mistake he’s made.
You could scream at him. Truth be told, most of the possible outcomes include you screaming or cursing at him. You’re not even a violent person, but he guesses there’s no other reaction that could be the outcome of this whole situation, and he doesn’t even blame you for that.
Because Dejun is right. He did it for himself. 
There was no way he could help you with this, in any way, shape or form. All he did was cause you pain. 
“Yangyang?” a voice above him calls his name, causing him to look up. His heart beats wildly in his chest, heat rising to his face in anxiety; you look at him with stern eyes and lips pursed into a thin line. “Can we talk?”
Nodding, he stands up and follows you a few meters away from your group of friends, ignoring their excited waves and questions of how you’ve been and what’s up. Yangyang feels like he’s nearing his death– and from how fast his heart is beating, it could very well mean he’s close to the end by a heart attack– you stand in the shade of another tree (the one you always hang out under with your boyfriend), crossing your hands at your chest.
“What’s up?” he asks, voice low and full of shame. Even if you had no idea, now is the time you’d find out– he would gladly tell you everything, if it meant you wouldn’t get mad at him for it. That’s not how the world works, though, and so he awaits your outburst, looking like a scared dog with its tail hidden in guilt.
“Why did you lie to me?” you ask. Your voice is steady. He would even go as far as saying that you practiced this conversation with yourself in front of the mirror– you’re not a coward though, he is, and the reality must be miles away from this statement. You’ve always been good at getting your point across– no circling around the topic, edging towards the point. You go straight for it, ready for the battle. That’s what Yangyang’s liked about you perhaps the most.
“I can explain-”
“Well, that’s why I’m asking, isn’t it?” you chuckle under your breath, the bossy attitude very much in its place. 
“I- I kind of panicked? In a way? All I tried was to protect you,” he desperately gets out, sweating under your gaze. 
“Panicked?” you repeat, disbelief shining in the tone of your voice. “You lied to me about my boyfriend cheating on me because you panicked? Yangyang, I’m so sorry, but I’m afraid I’m not quite following,” you furrow your brows at him, your sentences worthy of a lawyer’s degree.
“Look,” Yangyang sighs, pinching the skin at the bridge of his nose in hopelessness, “I couldn’t stand looking at you two together. He’s not being a good boyfriend to you, Y/N, and it hurts me to see how you get treated, when you deserve so much more!” 
“That’s not for you to say!” you argue back, the scene already nearing the images he had in his brain. 
“Well, who else was supposed to say it! No one cares as much as I do!”
“Yangyang!”
“That guy keeps lying to you, he keeps arriving late! Hell, he makes you pay all the time. You didn’t even know him well before you started dating him. Did he remember your anniversary?” he asks, the empty look in your eyes being enough of an answer to him, “See? Thought so. You never hang out with us anymore, he always ignores us… He stood you up and ignored you for multiple days, Y/N, for god’s sake!”
He feels the eyes of everyone on his back right now, the tone of his voice louder than he intended it to be. There’s no time to feel embarrassed, though– not when he’s trying to save his relationship with you. 
“And so what, Yangyang? That’s not your shit to worry about,” you shake your head, “you hurt me. You really hurt me with your words, you know that?” 
“It was necessary!” he grunts, helplessly shaking his head at your stance.
“You hate to see me with him that bad? That’s not what a good friend does, Yang,” you chew on the inside of your cheek, waiting for the last arguments that could come out of his mouth.
His heart shakes in his throat, palms sweating as his brain turns into autopilot. Fuck it, he thinks; he can’t save this anymore, so he might as well go all out. Maybe then, you’ll understand where he’s coming from better. Maybe you won’t hate him as much.
“Fuck, Y/N, that’s because I don’t want to be your friend! I could treat you so much better than he ever did.”
He doesn’t know what he expected with his words. He doesn’t know what reaction he wanted to get after his unprompted confession. Truth is, he didn’t think this far– even his wildest imaginations and scenarios he made up in his head never got to the point of him breaking and telling you how he feels. 
Also, he never wanted it to sound as ‘second lead in a cliche, overplayed drama’ as it did. What is he, a Shawn Mendes song?
The reaction you give him kicks him in his gut, slaps him across the face, hits him with a full fist right into his nose. This is where a fragment of his imagination comes true. He could even be a psychic, who knows.
“Fuck you,” you spit, tongue poking the side of your cheek in pure anger, “you’re so, so unbelievably selfish.”
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ix. when you change your mind, I'll be waiting
Days that come after are not much different from the weeks before. You still don’t talk to him or his friends, but the reason behind your silence is completely different now. It’s not you being busy; you no longer send an incoherent train of messages into the group chat with apologies of not knowing about the hang-outs sooner. Now, it’s because Yangyang stabbed you in the back and when he goes down, all your friends go down together. Not willingly, of course– you just knew all along that no one is happy with your new boyfriend. And that is enough of a reason for you to stay mad. 
Yangyang feels numb. Drifting apart from your friends is natural. You can’t really do anything against it– bending yourself over for something that is no longer beneficial for both of the parties is never an okay thing to do. Sometimes, you just have to watch that person slowly disappear out of the reach, walk away from your life forever. 
Drifting apart from your friends is natural, but that doesn’t mean that it won’t hurt. 
It hurts. It hurts so much that Yangyang chooses not to think about it any longer, because the truth is, you weren’t just his friend– you were his first love, as silly as it might sound.
Sure, he had crushes before– like on that girl in kindergarten or on that girl in middle school; the small devil that set his hair on fire in Chemistry class. It was never quite the same as the feelings he had for you, though. The nervousness and anxiety disappeared out of his body, the butterflies in his stomach not as panicky as with other girls in his life before. You made him feel calm. He didn’t have to worry about what you’d think of him when he was truly himself around you. He didn’t have to pretend to be someone he’s not– he knew you liked him as he is, and that always made him so, so uncontrollably happy. He would even say he was your favorite; over time, you started acting so– but when that place in your life was suddenly taken out of his hands, with no time to prepare, he was left empty-handed and confused.
He was so, so fond of you. At times, it looked even simple– that’s how he knew he was in love with you. Love was supposed to be simple, after all, wasn’t it?
He spends his days at the café. It’s been a few weeks since you appeared at the door with your boyfriend, getting iced coffee together and then disappearing once again, on another one of your usual dates. He does his work on autopilot, his head somewhere completely else. 
Exams pass as fast as they come. He is surprised with himself to still get a decent grade– although he thinks he would’ve done better if you studied with him instead. The trip to the McDonald’s with your friends and Dejun to celebrate the semester ending seems empty without your cheerful voice filling the room and he can’t get himself to focus on a single word that comes out of his friends’ mouths. 
The last day of school is filled with emptiness in his stomach. It’s not that he’s not excited for summer break, but something tells him that it won’t be as exciting if you’re not there to drag him to the beach, or watch him skate around the town and fall down and scrape his knees. He was the main character of your Instagram stories last summer, and he was proud of being so. Not that he gained any new followers out of it, no– he just enjoyed the world seeing that he spends a lot of time with you.
Poking the food around on his plate, his head is hung low and his brows are furrowed into a worried expression. He doesn’t like sitting alone at lunch in the cafeteria, for it’s always filled to the brim with people and it makes him feel lonely, but all his friends are in class or at home, still, waiting for the last class of their semester to start after lunch break. He’s left alone– he’s quite getting used to it, though, so when the sound of a plate hitting the table across from him startles him from his slumber, he’s more shocked than ever before.
Looking up, he’s met with the state of you. It’s a sight that shakes him down to his core. Truth is, he wasn’t used to seeing you face to face anymore; not saying that he forgot what you looked like. He spent countless hours stalking you on social media, after all. Now, though, you look different than before– your hair looks less taken care of and your outfit looks like you put less effort into, resulting in wearing oversized clothing rather than carefully matched pieces completed with accessories. Today, you look simple, yet, even that was enough to make Yangyang’s eyes wide and lick his lips in anticipation. 
“Can I sit here?” you ask. Yangyang feels himself eagerly nod, putting the fork in his hand away, as if to brace himself for the impact of your words. 
Your body slungs itself into the seat in front of him, placing your arms onto the table and nestling a little in your place. Yangyang would even go as far as calling you nervous, from how your eyes hesitantly meet his figure and kick your leg up and down under the table. 
“What’s up?” he breaks the silence, because he thinks that if you sit with him without a word much longer, he’s going to explode.
Shrugging, you tightly smile. “Not much. How did your exams go?” 
The question catches him off guard. He surely didn’t expect such causality from you, after everything that’s happened between the two of you. “They went well,” he shrugs, “yours?” 
You nod, the smile on your face growing even tighter. “Yeah, they went okay, I guess…” you mumble, “could have gone better, but… given the circumstances I was in, I’m glad I could even focus on writing the answers down, to be honest.”
Yangyang wants to ask you what happened. Surely, the fight you had couldn’t be the reason why you couldn’t focus on your exams. You were the top of the class, the best student; you never had any problems with studying. There must have been something else going on that made you be out of it. He almost opens his mouth to ask you about it, when you cut him off and ask another question, desperately wanting to keep up with the conversation. 
“Do you have any plans for the summer?” your eyes light up when you finally open your mouth and take a bite of the food sitting on your plate, waiting for your friend to answer as you chew on the sandwich. 
“...not really,” he shrugs. He had plans before; he wanted to take you to the beach again, but this time, you’ll have a sandcastle contest. He also wanted to go camping, and there was this latino party scheduled for the fourth week of the break he wanted to take you to. He also wanted to invite you to his hometown, because his mother wanted to see you. And somewhere along the way, he wanted to confess to you… but that plan clearly failed. 
“Hm,” you hum, swallowing before you speak again, “I was wondering if you wouldn’t teach me how to skate this summer. You know, since I was too scared to try last year.” 
Yangyang hesitantly meets your eyes again, licking his lips with nerves. What is it with you suddenly having plans for the summer with him? For all he knew, you never wanted to see him again after his blatant lie a few weeks ago. 
“But that’s gonna have to wait a few weeks. I… I have to go home to visit my mum. She’s been on and on about how I never come home nowadays, and that I should just spend the summer break at home this time and that I need to get out of this town, but I…” you trail off, shaking your head, “all I’m saying is, I’ll meet you in three weeks. And then, we can do whatever you want.”
He stays quiet. The whole conversation is strange, the situation making his stomach twist and anxiety sit in his bones. This is not how he’s used to feeling next to you, so it’s all new to him, but just the fact that you’re talking to him, seemingly not mad anymore, is making him fill with courage as he moves closer to the edge of the seat and cracks his knuckles, preparing himself. 
“Y/N…” he trails off, in a sudden loss for words.
“You were right,” you get out, a tight smile plastered on your face, “I broke up with him,” you say, nodding to prove your point. 
Nothing in the world could prepare him for the words that came out of your mouth. He’s not even sure how he should feel– does he get happy? Does he feel sorry for your failed relationship? How does a man, who’s coincidentally, still kind of in love with someone, feel when that someone breaks up with their toxic boyfriend? 
Is it relief? Joy? He’s not quite sure. 
Perhaps he hasn’t grown enough as a person to feel worry for you at first. After a few heartbeats, though, it settles in, and he finds himself uttering out the words.
“I’m… I’m sorry to hear that, Y/N.”
“Yeah, it’s- it’s okay. I should have listened a long time ago. But that’s not important right now-”
“What happened?” he asks. The change is sudden, for sure. You seemed like you would never break up with that dude, no matter how many valid arguments you got from your friends. So what changed your mind? 
“He cheated on me,” you say, chuckling a little in irony, “maybe you should be a psychic, or something, because with how accurate your predictions are, you would have a secure place on the market. Maybe I’ll get you tarot cards for your birthday, so we have more to work with-” you ramble on and on, until he doesn’t compose himself and cut you off, saving you from your misery.
“I’m sorry Y/N. You didn’t deserve that.”
You bite on your cheek, nodding. He must admit, you look down. Yes, he did want you to break up with Hyunho, but never in a million years would he really want you to hurt as much as actually finding out that he cheated on you. 
“Thanks, Yangyang,” you mutter, smiling– except this time, the smile looks genuine, “so… we don’t have to talk about all of that. Let’s just… leave it in the past,” you giggle, taking another bite of your sandwich.
Your friend nods, suddenly feeling lighter. The weight of shattering the friendship you two had is no longer sitting on his shoulders, and although it’s shitty, he’s glad he has you back. He never knew just how much you could miss someone until he didn’t get to the point of missing the one person he claimed to be the most important to him. 
“I had a few plans for summer, actually,” he says, smiling, “we could do them all after you arrive.”
“Really?” you light up, kicking him lightly under the table. 
“Yeah! I wanted to go to the beach, since you like it that much.”
“You don’t even have to plan that, you already know I’m dragging your ass over there every third day of the summer,” you laugh.
“And we could go camping,” he mentions, “with everyone. I know Renjun has a tent he could lend us, and Dejun is learning how to play the guitar recently, so we can exploit him a little and invite him just so he can play some tunes while we start the bonfire,” he grins.
“Amazing. Anything else?”
“Hmm…” he searches in his brain, the schedule he made in his phone a few months ago opening in front of his eyes as a hologram, “there’s a latino party the week after you come back.”
“I hate dancing…” you mourn out, seeing him laugh at you.
“That’s not true!”
“It totally is.”
“Well then, I don’t care. I’m dragging you with me, because there’s no way you will get through this summer without seeing that those hips don’t lie,” he giggles, suggestively wiggling in his seat, making you burst out with laughter.
“Okay,” you nod, rolling your eyes playfully at your friend. Something in the air suggests that you both missed this– useless ideas shared at the lunch table, careless laughter flowing through the space. It’s like the universe is back aligned again, because you two are in each other’s lives, content with each other’s company. “Any other plans that need mentioning?”
“Well…” Yangyang starts, the checklist in his phone app he made before you started dating your ex boyfriend materializing in his thoughts, the last paragraph loud and clear in his mind. 
4. confess or whatever; it says at the very bottom. Yangyang despises that he remembers it so clearly. 
“We’ll see. I’m sure I’ll come up with something,” he says, seeing you smile widely at him, finishing the last bite of your sandwich. 
Standing up from your place, he follows you as you escape the cafeteria. The hot air outside slaps both of you in the face, but neither of you care as you bathe in the sunlight, enjoying the first day of summer break together. You’re leaving for three weeks, and Yangyang’s sure he’ll miss you; but the few days are nothing against the weeks of silence he got from you when he messed up in the past. He’s sure he can live through it. At least now, he’s sure you’re coming back.
“I’m excited to spend the summer with you all,” you say when you sit outside. 
“Me too,” he smiles. The sun hits his eyes, making him squint, but even that can’t make him hate the feeling of incoming summer that visits him with a promise of adventure.
And when you put your head on his shoulder, relaxed and comfortable, looking up to meet his eyes with eyes full of familiar glimmer, Yangyang almost promises to himself to confess to you again, when the time is right and you’re both ready.
Who knows. It might even work next time.
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prof-ramses · 2 months
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Ramses Recommends : The monsters of Rodrigo Sousa'a "Playground" trailer
This is gonna be the first of a new bred of post around here called Ramses Recommends, where I give a brief, spoiler free argument on why a piece of media deserves more attention before doing a deep dive into a particularly notable aspect of it for those who are cool with spoilers.
Our first subject is a proof of concept video on you tube titled "Playground I trailer", meant as a way for the short's France based creator to pitch the setting for a potential series or film and possibly a video game in the future, which, I'm happy to say, has worked.
Sousa's been contacted by a group willing to produce an animated.... something in the Playground world. The full project is still in early stages, but Rodrigo has confirmed he'll show more as soon as he can.
Spoiler-free Synopsis: We get several peeks into the struggle of kids in a monster filled ecosystem in a massive, liminal, jungle-gym like structure.
If what you've read so far peaks your interest, check the short here. And going further, the behind the scenes can be found here.
SPOLIER SEGMENT AHEAD
Now, for those who came back, or just decided to read on, let's get into the real meat and taters of this thing, the monsters populating this world.
I'll give my 2 cents on each design and give them a name, for convenience in discussion, if for nothing else.
Scuttleface
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Off to a fairly typical start, two siblings (who we follow for most of the short) are hiding in a large dragon(?) statue and as one looks out the mouth/balcony, this critter comes by and open his main peepers.
Not much to say about this thing, among the more tame designs.
Stoplight Man
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As the thumbnail, this guy is somewhat of the de facto mascot of Playground.
Stalking a tunnel maze, this ghoul spins his face in his skull to reveal a glowing grinning grimace. Any kid caught in the light best not move until the face spins again. Otherwise...
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...Yeah
Blanket Eel
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The kids hide under a "sea floor" of blankets while this blushing fish listlessly glides over them.
Nothing special, but I like it's little nose and scraggy hair, they add some character.
Pool Noodle
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What else was I supposed to call this guy?
The same siblings who seemingly escaped the eel are now on a freaky duck floaty boat and starring down this lovely fellow.
Noodle doesn't actually move, but his intestine like namesakes slink through the waters of his tiled domain.
Also, his face vaguely looks like a dick tip and I can't tell if that's a "peeing in the pool" joke.
The Ballpit Babies
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This sole shot is all we get of these eggs, but they're clustering together evokes a ballpit and reminds me of Muncher Marathon from DKCR, which is a good thing for any horror media.
Night Lights
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The siblings get a moment's rest as they watch this precession of cutesy crittters.
My absolute favorite is the little shrink-wrapped lizard. Does it grow in water, I wonder?
Blanky Banshee
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This madam wanders an extra decrepit party place. The glow in the dark stickers littering the place fitting her eye motif.
Weirdly, her abdomen seems to be made of exposed guts and her nose resembles the Blanket Eel. I can't help but ponder the possible connection.
And a brief moment of silence for the kid who shined a flashlight on this thing.
Big Bad Baby-Bat-Barfing Bug-Bat Beast
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The least uncanny/liminal monster, not that that's much comfort.
The siblings barrel towards this thing in a fish shaped minecart, as the older kid bats bats out of the air with a mallet.
This particular domain seems to be the most foreign to the rest, meaning that I'm really excited to see more of it in the full Plaground.
Jim Jungle and his Shape Pals
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This isn't actually how we meet Jim, but I love his spidery behavior matches his monkey bar abode.
When we see him chase the siblings, he unleashes the three shapes on his stomach as smaller arachnophobia generators to catch them.
I'd say he ties with Stoplight Man for iconographic value.
Cuddly
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Still brandishing the mallet, the older sibling jumps off a trampoline towards this creepily baby like kraken.
And we get this:
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RIP
The Monster Under The Bed
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We don't see anymore of this little doofus than this shot, but it feels oddly... Friendly.
It doesn't feel righ to imagine this guy to be one of the boogimen here, despite his complexion.
And lastly,
Uncle Krampus
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Even though his lore probably doesn't exist yet, I NEED IT!
Despite being dragged away by him, the younger sibling doesn't seem be wiling to put up much of a fight. Is he just a strict but still benevolent presence, one that keeps kids save here?
His fanny pack, bells and realistic, relatively unassuming pitchfork create the impression of a knowledgeable guide through this strange place.
Definitely the monster I want to see more of the most.
So there you have it, the first Ramses Recommends. I hope you loved it and loved it's subject, until next time, play safe ;)
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nocturnalghoul · 10 months
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Mushy May Day 30: Love Letters/ Seranade
Mountain and Cumulus each have a way to uniquely show their love to one another. Mountain leaves her letters and Cumulus serenades him while he works.
Words: 1001
Rating: Gen/Everyone
Read below the cut or on AO3 here
Cumulus could feel her frustrations billowing out and disturbing the air around her, fluffy curls flying wildly in the miniature storm as she stomped down the hall to her room. Nothing seemed to be going her way all day and all she wanted to do was get back to her room to scream into her pillow. 
Throwing the door open with an annoyed huff, she looks into her room and notices a little green envelope propped against her pillow accompanied by a singular pink tulip. Immediately the storm she had accidentally conjured stills as a tiny squeal escapes her lips. How Mountain had time to sneak in here to leave the surprise for her when he has been pulled all across the entire abbey on various chores for Sister Imperator since sunrise is a mystery, but one she doesn’t care about solving. 
Cumulus adds the flower to the mismatched bouquet in her window and sits down to look over the letter Mountain left her. On the front in silver ink is a large image of a fluffy vaguely heart shaped cloud with a smiley face in the middle. She rips open the envelope and feels that last whisper of frustration leave as she begins to read the letter penned out in Mountain's usual scratchy script.
A token of affection for the most beautiful cloud in the wide vast sky.
You are like a breath of fresh air wherever you go, raining down laughter and radiance upon each person you meet. I am so glad you deign to wander these dreary halls with hermits such as myself when clearly you are meant to hang high in the sky for all to admire. I am so deeply touched that the rest of the pack and I get to call you ours. 
May we conspire at the horizon forever and always,
Mountain
Cumulus pulls out the small lockbox covered with stickers of various flowers from under her bed, taking a moment to rifle through the other letters. Near the bottom she finds her favorite, the very first letter that Mountain had ever left her with a little four leafed clover pressed between the fold of the light blue stationary. After rereading the letter and placing the new one inside she seals the box up and slides it back under the bed.
Letters from Mountain were no new thing, but somehow the earth ghoul managed to have a sixth sense about when exactly she really needed them. Though they did not come often, she treasured each one. The practice was something private for only the two of them to share away from the rest of the pack, as was the way in which she voiced her deep love for the earth ghoul. He snuck her letters and she snuck into the greenhouse to serenade Mountain while he worked whenever he least expected it.
Already she was brainstorming ideas for what song she wanted to sneak into the greenhouse and serenade Mountain with tomorrow morning. She was already planning on doing so sometime this week, but the perfect timing of the letter made her decide to move the timeline up. 
The next morning Cumulus makes sure to rise early. When she stumbles out into the kitchen there is already a fresh pot of coffee waiting for everyone, as well as two cups with custom tea bags inside them, one for her and one for Rain. Judging by the cold kettle Mountain must have left here a while ago. 
After preparing her tea, Cumulus slinks off, warm mug in hand as she strolls lazily through the garden path towards the greenhouse she knows Mountain will be working in. 
She pushes the door open centimeters at a time in an attempt to best the squeaky hinge. She gets the door mostly open before a tiny screech comes from the door. 
“Traitor” she pouts, but looking in sees no sign of Mountain in the main area. She lets the door slowly close on its own and steps deeper into the gigantic greenhouse until she sees Mountains auburn hair up in the bun sticking up from just above a workbench as he fiddles with something on the ground. 
She launches into her song, serene notes of adoration echoing slightly off of the walls as the song builds. Mountain turns around, beaming at her with so much love and adoration that Cumulus feels like the one being serenaded. 
As the final notes of the song fade out Mountain hops across the workbench, picking Cumulus up off her feet and swinging her around. 
“I’m so happy to see you, songbird.” Mountain chimes, his normal low timbre shooting up in pitch. 
“Alright, alright, down boy” Cumulus giggles, smacking lightly at his arm to put her down. “Did you really need to leap over the table about that?”
They both look at the line of potting soil smeared along his pant leg from sliding across the table and laugh.
“Oh absolutely ‘Lus. Walking around would have wasted like an entire second. Besides, I got excited.”
Cumulus leans her head against his chest, humming contently as he wraps his arms back around her tightly. They both stand there, swaying slightly enjoying the rare moment completely alone. 
“Ya know, speaking of getting excited…” Cumulus leads, pulling back to look Mountain in the eye. The way he tilts his head slightly in expectation makes the little bits of loose hair falling out of his bun fall down framing his face beautifully. 
“I was wondering what that line you wrote about conspiring at the horizon was all about” she continues with a wink. 
“Your room or mine, songbird?”
Cumulus makes a big show of trying to consider which option to choose, pantomiming weighing out the options in each hand. 
Mountain scoops her up into a princess carry, earning a surprised squeak from the ghoulette, before rushing out the door and towards the garden path back to the ghoul dorms.
“Time’s a wastin’, decide on the way my dove!”
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Yes, I’m still talking about Komos
Potential Monster high live action spoilers (i have not seen the movie so please don’t add any info about details in the movie that might relate to this)
Now that it’s been confirmed that Komos is the villain, i’ve started to think about how MH actually expects me to see him as a villain. Yes i know i’m the ghoul who keeps saying that she wants Komos to be evil cause she thinks its funny and will make a good story but now that I know his motivation, ive really started to think about it .
So Komos’ motivation is that his father, Hyde, was shunned by everyone in the monster world and human world, the monsters wrongfully accused him of crimes and kicked him out of the school and the humans hunted him down in hopes of killing him. Komos’ plan is to take revenge on the monster realm, specifically it seems, Monster high, by destroying the school.
And i’m supposed to hope they defeat this guy? 
No I don’t want to see Monster high go up in flames, but Hyde should get some justice. 
Jekly and Hyde and Komos are clearly a parallel to Clawdeen’s story. showing what could have happend to her. But what i really don’t want this movie to do is slap Komos with the evil label and defeat him. Monster high did something wrong. The monsters hold blame here, they treated Hyde like crap and that transferred to his son. what I want this movie to do I address that, both parties are in the wrong here. Komos should not destroy the school and take revenge on all monster and human kind, But Monster high shouldn’t have treated his father like that. 
I saw someone talking about how this movie seems like its trying to do this big metaphor on what its like being a mixed person and how hard it is being stuck between two worlds but that they’re going about it in such a weird way and missed the mark (Mixed person speaking here)  and I have to say that I agree. Making the son of a guy who was ostracized his whole life and is just trying to get some justice for his father the villain is really weird. And i’m not even going to get into the Clawdeen stuff
I also hope that maybe they don’t slap the one and done sticker on him. maybe he can come back in the animated series have a sort of redemption arch where he gets a cool nephew(s) and gets to see his family finally be accepted.
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queenofbaws · 5 months
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Trick or Treat! 👻
"ahhhhh! welcome, welcome!!! the witching hour nears, and you know what that means...the real ghosts and ghouls will be taking to the streets at any time!!!"
you're not really sure what the person-thing on the stoop is talking about - by your watch, at least, it's, uh...well, let's just say 'witching hour' is still pretty far off - but you hold out your bag and wait to see what you'll get here.
fun-size snacks? full-size candy bars? that would be ideal...oh, but maybe this is the sort of house that does things a little differently - gives out cans of soda that always end up too shaken-up by the time you get home, or a handful of pennies that you really don't want to touch, or political stickers for candidates you've never heard of but who always have mottos like, "I can't be as bad as the last one!"
you are really, really holding out for candy.
"for you," the crownèd gremlin croons, "something truly frightening!"
yeah, it's not gonna be candy, is it.
she reaches her hand into a bucket just inside the door and when she lets the handful go into your bag, you're a bit...puzzled. what she's given you...isn't scary at all. in fact, they're really pretty cute!
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as each eraser plops down into your bag, you can't help but smile at the noises they make. they're just so tiny! and brightly colored! and fun! if this is her idea of frightening, then -
as though reading the thought in your expression, the creature grins, revealing all of its teeth. "you're not scared now," it chuckles, slowly backing away from you and towards the darkness of the threshold, "but just you wait, OH!!! JUST! YOU! WAIT!!!" and with that, she throws her head back and cackles a madman's laugh before shutting the door behind her.
that was weird. you make a mental note not to come to this house next year, but who are you kidding - mental notes never last! so you quickly take out your trusty pencil and notepad and scribble a quick note, but - ugh. that's not how that's spelled. you reach into your bag, take out one of your adorable new erasers, try to erase your mistake and -
oh.
oh no.
oh god no...
it doesn't erase the mark at all - it just smears the graphite around.
you scream as you run from the house. you've never been more scared in your life.
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herecomesaspecialghoul · 10 months
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I have more thoughts about names.
At our cores, us ghouls, we are NAMELESS. It is how we are made. Nameless, low tier demons. We are meant to be easy to summon- no precise pronunciation of an ancient tongue, no having to have any specific offerings at the ready. We are willed into existence, find the portal, and go do whatever we were summoned for. Some of us stay around a while, such as myself. Others do not. It is our nature.
" but special, " I am sure you are saying, " you have a name! " This is untrue. Special, Phil, the list of curse words Imperator calls me, these are equivalent of nicknames. Stickers. Little doodads affixed to me to make me seem different. But, again, I am NAMELESS. I did not pop out of Hell with a driver license reading " first name Special, last name Ghoul, middle name Danger " or what have you. I am a nameless ghoul who is called Special or Phil or #*~$&&!!€%. The ghoul who presently runs the official band blog, I call them " Soda " here upon this blog of mine simply because we first met at the vending machines. Is a nickname. They are nameless.
Which now brings me to the subject of my band siblings. They are nameless ghouls. That's it. The fans as a whole group, if you will, you all come up with many wonderful and silly and perplexing names for them- sometimes the elements get muddled but that is another post I think- but these are still nicknames. These are still little stickers you're putting on the faceplates to differentiate. And, ehehehehhh, I do get the need you humans have, to label and sort and categorize. Especially with the band ghouls, I get it is mostly to tell them apart in a way that is not simply refering to them as " black guitar ghoul " or " keytar and keyboards ghoul ". Trust me please, I get it. WE get it.
But just know also that our nature is such that... well, to be very blunt, these things do not matter so much to us. We are here for purpose, we leave, others come in. This is our existence, and, if I am not mistaken, life in general, yea? Maybe... maybe do not attach your hearts so firmly to that which is ever-changing? Fuck, I cannot word this correctly.
The nature of ghouls, of the band Ghost, is change. It is a shadow game. All is mirage. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the music.
All of this came out so muddled I spent a long time trying to get my thoughts right and it's not all great. 😞 This is simply me rambling, it is not an attack on anyone
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hypnoneghoul · 3 months
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Christmas Ghouls 9/10
WC: 1005
Relationship: Swiss & Phantom
Tags: Fluff, gift giving
Notes: For Meghan <3
Read under the cut or on AO3.
Phantom woke up way earlier than he should’ve. No one could blame him, though, it was Christmas and it was his first one! He was up before anyone else. He took the gifts he had prepared for everyone to the common room—it took him two rounds, there was a lot—and carefully placed them all on the table. He grabbed a snack from the kitchen, sat by the table and waited. 
Some time had passed—he didn’t even know what time it was when he got up, just that it was early—and he was getting a bit bored sitting alone and bouncing his leg, but at the same time he was too excited to do anything else.
Usually it was either Dewdrop, Sunshine or Swiss (though the latter didn’t enjoy leaving his cozy nest too early, even if he was awake anyway) that would be up first, something about being fire, or part fire, ghouls that made them arise with the sun, and Phantom wondered who he’d have the chance to pounce on first. 
More time went by and Phantom was getting more and more restless. He was just about to leave and bother someone, anyone, into getting up and cheering with him ‘because it's Christmas!’ when he heard heavy footsteps from the corridor. He shot up and saw Swiss—hair disheveled, pants slipping down his hips, shirt on inside out and a huge yawn splitting his face.
The multi ghoul seemed too sleepy still, to register Phantom’s presence in the room. At least not before he threw himself at Swiss, all but screaming ‘Merry Christmas!’ into his ear, making him stumble back a few steps. “Oh, yeah, Merry Christmas, buggy.”
“I have a gift for you, do you wanna see? Come on!” Phantom grabbed his hand and dragged the poor—still half asleep—ghoul to the table. He sat down on one of the chairs and watched as Phantom rummaged through boxes and bags on the table. How many were there?
“Here!” He dropped a box onto Swiss’ lap, standing back with an expectant grin and bright eyes. “Go on!”
“Alright, alright.” The multi ghoul shook his head and started unwrapping the gift. Phantom was nearly vibrating, so Swiss sped up, lest the quintessence ghoul would drill a hole in the floor with his feet.
Finally, the box was opened and Swiss could take a look inside. He wasn’t really sure what to do about the contents, because it was… everything. And all of that everything was in various shades or browns, yellows and golds.
There were sweets, trinkets, little plushies, stickers and many more different things that were all piled together and impossible to make out inside the box. He’d take his time examining every little item and melting over Phantom’s cuteness later.
“It’s everything that made me think of you when I saw it,” Phantom said. “Stuff I thought you’d like or that I just… associate with you. I think.”
“Buggy, that’s… that’s amazing,” Swiss chuckled, looking up at the younger ghoul. “You are so cute, I love how your brain works.”
“You… you do? You like it?”
“Of course I do!” The multi ghoul put the box back onto the table and stood up to wrap Phantom up in his arms and hug him tightly. “You are such a smart and thoughtful little ghoul, buggy, I love you.”
Phantom only giggled, snuggling into Swiss’ chest with a happy trill. They stood like that for a few moments—Phantom with his face shoved into the other’s chest, purring quietly, and Swiss having his arms tightly wrapped around the younger ghoul.
An image of the same ghoul flashed through Swiss mind, from when he was summoned. The same, but so, so different, and the multi ghoul felt like he could burst with pride at how far Phantom had come.
“Alright, buggy,” Swiss said after a while, patting Phantom on the back. “If you let me go for a moment I’ll run and grab your gift.”
“Hmmm…” he did consider it for a moment, but– “we can just go together!”
“I– yeah, sure, we can. Let’s go.” Swiss only shook his head with a chuckle and let himself be dragged out of the common room and in the general direction of his own. The quintessence ghoul all but threw him inside, before jumping onto the other’s nest and sitting criss-cross, huge grin on his face.
“You are… so much, buggy,” Swiss whispered, meaning it in the most loving way possible. He turned to the windowsill over his desk and picked up a violet gift bag. He peeked inside, to make sure once more it was the right one, and walked over to the bed. “Here you go. Merry Christmas, Phantom.”
Phantom nearly shoved his entire head into the bag, enthusiastic as ever, and the string handle caught on one of his horns and– “OH MY– ah, wait… Swiss… help.”
The multi ghoul had to physically restrain himself from folding in half when he burst into laughter. He stared at Phantom looking like a deer in the headlights with the bag hanging off of his head. “Swiss… Come on, help me!”
“I– yeah– gimme–” he wheezed out but lost it again when the quintessence ghoul shook his head and the bag crinkled. Another minute, or two, went by, before Swiss finally did help to free Phantom.
“You are so silly, buggy,” he sighed, and watched as Phantom finally took his gifts out of the bag, giggling. At first the items looked like three weird plastic tubes with some prints on the outside but when he looked into it closer– “KALEIDOSCOPES!?”
Swiss chuckled, “They are.”
“That’s so exciting! Swiss, I love them!” Phantom beamed, taking the caps of the kaleidoscopes and looking inside each one, one by one. “Woah…”
The multi ghoul kept smiling fondly at the other’s excitement and happiness over something so simple. He was so damn cute, Swiss could barely believe it. He told Phantom as much, making them blush.
“I love you, buggy.”
“I love you, too, Swissy.”
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youtube
Transcript of Roger's interview with Monsters, Madness, and Magic.
For those who prefer to read (or read along with) the interview.
WARNING: SUPER LONG POST AHEAD
"Alright folks, welcome to the Monsters Madness and Magic Podcast, I'm your host Justin here with a quick word before we dive in. In this episode I chat with actor Roger Clark about life in Ireland, theater, Arthur Morgan, Frankenstein, Rockstar Games, Red Dead Redemption, motion capture and more. Also if you're listening to this and you feel so inclined, please leave us a review really helps out a lot. Anyway that's enough of the bulls*it, without further ado, here you go."
────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────
"Hold up there, son. Now, this here town is filled with all kinds of monsters, madness, and magic so, how about you just leave the killing to the killers, and just get out of my damn way!"
"Greetings boils and ghouls, this is your comrade the Crypt Keeper here, reporting dead from the Sanctuary of the Strange.
Tonight's macabre myth is a fright-filled feature, one overflowing with Monsters, Madness and Magic."
MMAM: Take us back in time to when you were a youngster, you know, were you a book reader, fort builder, troublemaker, or all the above?
ROGER: Man well, when I used to go to the library all the time in summer vacations. I would read Beverly Cleary a lot, I'd read Roald Dahl, I got big into adult books so I was reading Stephen King by the time I was nine or ten, it was a little weird.
When I was in Ireland some of the books they wouldn't let me take out they'd be like “Oh no you can only take this out you only take books out with with the purple sticker on it that comes from the child section” So of course I went and got the purple sticker and I just popped it on Mario Puzo's The Godfather and then they checked— I'm a 9 year old reading The Godfather. I loved books, I always— I still do although I don't— now it's mostly for professional reasons I read, I don't read for leisure as much as I used to.
MMAM: When did you start the audio book venture?
ROGER: I started it when I was a kid. My dad used to do— before we moved to Ireland, my dad used to do newspaper for the blind, for the Star Ledger in New Jersey— in the state of New jersey and I would often help him as a child you know, 7-8 years old, go over to— he would record and they would— I remember the machine that they had, it would record about 6 cassettes simultaneously, it would read the star Ledger newspaper for people who are blind or visually impaired and they would get the cassette in the mail weekly and I would help cut out the articles that they chose to record, and then when we moved over to Ireland my dad brought it over there and joined up and on the West Coast of Ireland to for the Sligo Champion.
So that was my first foray into it, but as far as narrating is concerned I started that a little bit over a decade ago.
MMAM: When you made that initial move to Ireland was that a culture shock for you, was it— do you remember it being difficult for you to transition?
ROGER: I remember— we were there every summer. So I knew the place, but it was a culture shock still. We were only there for summers I never went to school there, I never spent more than a couple of weeks at a time there before
But I was too young to really appreciate how much of a culture shock it really was, that was probably for the best, I stuck out like a sore thumb so much so that I kind of got rid of the Yankee accent as quickly as I could, but still there's still some left you know there's enough left that when I'm in Ireland I sound American and when I'm in America I sound Irish or in some Americans don't they don't even know where the hell I'm from.
MMAM: I could definitely pick it up. Is there a Eureka moment that you can point to early on, maybe a play or performance you saw that sort of ushered you into the art?
ROGER: You know that I don't remember any one specific moment but I do remember first time I performed for kindergarten, there was 26 students in the class so for some reason, [the teacher] decided to do the personification of the alphabet and everyone was a specific letter and I was "Z", at first I thought that sucked but then I realized I got to close the show.
There was a lot of Eureka moments, I can't say any one stands out more than the other but I was always involved in amateur dramatics all the way through high school and before.
We used to do this stuff called the pantomime in Ireland which is a very popular Christmas show that they do in the UK and Ireland, it's a lot of like fairy tales with a lot of songs and dance and lots of musicals, lots of cross dressing.
There's always the Dame, who dresses up like— there's a guy who dresses up as usually the mother of the hero and then the hero is usually a woman playing a boy, very long tradition in the UK, we started doing that in the West Coast of Ireland for an organization called The Clear Dramatic Society that I would say it was if anything that was maybe one of my larger influences.
I started out in theater, now everybody calls me a voice actor which I'm very proud to be a voice actor but the funny thing is that Red Dead wasn't voice acting! Everybody says it's— but you know, everybody calls performances and gaming "voice acting" [and] 10, 15, 20 years ago, that was the case but it's kind of not the case any longer you know, the performance capture is as much of a part of it now if not more so, but when your work gets misrepresented though that can be problematic.
Everybody thinks if I was just in a sound booth from doing Arthur for five years you know that can actually impede my opportunities for on camera stuff because they don't understand the similarities of the performance capture and film have with each other, it's actually quite a bit in common, much more so than voice acting and film, you know.
One of the reasons Red Dead that took so long to make is because we were putting on those spandex suits with the shiny balls on and we were doing those scenes, and we rehearsed them, and we perform them until the director was happy, so it was very very similar to film or TV in that, you know, your colleagues are there, and you're you're bouncing off of each other just like you would on stage or in front of the camera and you keep doing it until it's right, that's why it took so long. Had we just been in a booth, it would have done up been done a lot quicker but, I think a lot of the little idiosyncratic details and they would have been glossed over, you wouldn't necessarily have discovered as much stuff in the sound booth by yourself as when you're out there with your friends and colleagues working on the “organicness” so the scene, for lack of a better word, I know “organicness” is not a word.
MMAM: Specifically with Red Dead I was just telling Ben, you know, I think the reason that "Voice Actor" comes out of people's mouths initially is because that's the most common practice you know, what Rockstar did and what you guys with Red Dead is not necessarily common, that's why it’s so good.
ROGER: And it’s still changing now I mean, voice acting is not going away, and some of Red Dead was voice acting I would say maybe about 10% of my work was in a booth, but that was a lot of in-game dialogue like with when you're traveling on horseback from one location to another, that would have been done in the booth. But more and more of it now is being done by Performance Capture.
Myself and Ben, you know, we've tried to do what we could to help spread awareness about that, ‘cause if you guys are kind enough to say, "I loved what you did, I really appreciated the work" you know at least we could say is, "well here there's a little bit more about what the work actually was" 'cause I love it! I love performance capture, I think it's such a fascinating medium, you know, it's in many ways it's got more freedom than film and TV because the same location can be so many diverse, vastly diverse places. I mean we would be— when we were doing Red Dead we'd be in Colter in the morning and then that evening— afternoon we're doing scenes in Saint Denis and it's the same stage, it's the same sets where [there] would be pipes and scaffolding you know all the sets would be dimensionally accurate. But we wouldn't know what it actually looked like until they animators would show us on a computer screen, but then that was invaluable, it gave us reference and then we were able to really create the environment, create the atmosphere you know, you wouldn't be swatting flies away from your face if you're up there in Colter.
Colter is the place where you have to be wading through the snow, and you have to walk accordingly you know, so we found lots of little tricks to bring forth those details to make it more authentic and to make it more immersive for the player, I think.
MMAM: We appreciate it for sure. Just to back up a little bit Roger, you did mention that you studied stage in Wales, what was the catalyst that made you eventually come back to the States?
ROGER: I had been working in the UK for about a decade. Most of it was theater with a lot of voice over thrown in too 'cause like you know having lived in so many different places I was able to do a few different accents but the impetus to move back to New York, you know, I felt like I had kind of plateaued in London I felt like you know I was booking Irish roles and I was booking American roles I wanted to get my teeth sunk into Shakespeare and it was really hard to book those jobs because the English would, you know, they stick to their own really, and they would sometimes you try to be honest and you walk into the room and your natural accent and they would think “No, this guy this guy obviously can't do it”, but so I thought “You know what? I've still got this US passport, I was still born there, why not go back and have a little bit of a stab at it over there?” and I never looked back 'cause it opened up my pigeonhole quite a bit 'cause then instead of just doing Irish and American roles now I was getting the British roles too and I was able to do Shakespeare [and] my opportunities expanded, not just because of, I think, there was more work but also because of the type of roles that I was being offered.
So yeah, I started off-Broadway and I moved back to New York City in ‘08 started working off-Broadway and off-off-Broadway pretty quickly, which was great and then you know, the voice over never really went away, those jobs always were coming and going and whatnot and in 2013 is when I first started working for Rockstar Games.
MMAM: Was Broadway a goal of yours?
ROGER: Yeah, I love to do Broadway. I've done off-Broadway a few times now, never quite— I've auditioned several times for Broadway, I'd love to do Broadway yeah.
MMAM: As someone who worked in London a lot, is there a major difference working on stage in the US as compared to the UK?
ROGER: All audiences are different culturally. We would tour Europe a lot and I would always be fascinated to see which jokes the French would laugh at as opposed to the Germans you know, and I think there's definitely a bit of that going on with the Brits and the Americans to you know.
Broadway is a great place and I think what London has in comparison would be— probably be the West End, so it caters to tourists a lot. You know, you've got some really really high-class productions in both places.
You know the American audiences are wonderful, but I found like, gosh you know, I've been doing it now for over 20 years and I have found that the advents of mobile phones and I'm getting more and more popular it's funny you'll see all the flashing screens or what what's even worse is you'll see their their faces lit up in their phones.
I remember once I was doing a show in Florida, and you know we all know Florida is pretty well known for this retirement community.
This particular show we would walk on in a blackout and the curtains were already drawn at this stage and I would always see all the lights flashing from the oxygen tanks, but they were great! they were great you know because these are all educated old folk you know and they probably lived in New York half of their lives, they're all half of them are snowbirds you know, right so they would actually be really great audiences! it was just that first moment where all the flashing oxygen tanks.
I hate to say it no the worst audiences are probably schoolkids, they’re the most honest too though, if you suck they'll they're the first ones to tell you, so in a way that they can be quite unruly when they want to be yeah.
MMAM: So what were some of your favorite roles to play personally on stage?
ROGER: Well, I did Macduff for a very long time, I enjoyed that immensely that's the problem with my favorite Shakespeare play. You know I got to have a big fight at the end of it with claymores chop off Macbeth’s head.
I also did a stage adaptation of Frankenstein I've played the monster that was a lot of fun cool yeah 'cause some of it was taken verbatim from Mary Shelley's book and there's this great scene then that where the monster grabs Dr. Frankenstein and drags him up to this mountain up in the Alps and he basically gives them the ultimatum he says, "you made me and then you just abandoned me" which really was a sh*tty move, and so he gives him the ultimatum he's just create a mate for me that's what you owe me, you just created me and abandoned me and I'm so lonely now if you don't create a girlfriend for me I'm gonna kill your family, it's quite a crazy scene and it's brutal and it's one of the most interesting things about this scene is that unlike the cinema versions of Frankenstein that we're so familiar with, is the monsters very articulate and he's as intelligent as Frankenstein himself at this stage, and he has learned to become eloquent and his vocabulary is it's on the same level as Doctor Frankenstein, so it becomes quite a philosophical argument that was one of my favorite bits.
I like doing Biff Loman from Death of a Salesman, that was a lot of fun, and you know I have to spend a lot of roles, Arthur really is, I mean I think I'm always gonna be known for that one, I'm very grateful for that.
Unlike a lot of stage stuff, that one was made out of thin air between myself and the writers and the animators, that one was created out of thin air, nobody had done Arthur before so there was a lot more freedom involved in creation of it or at least you were starting from scratch anyways which was an exciting thing.
MMAM: What were you into creatively when it comes to movies and stuff that you would consume growing up?
ROGER: Well, Abbott & Costello was one definitely. I loved movies, me and my dad would watch movies all the time, he got me into westerns, he was a John Wayne guy and me being rebellious obviously I was a bit more into the spaghetti westerns with Clint Eastwood. As I've gotten older I've learned to appreciate John Wayne and I think actually there's more John Wayne in Arthur than there is Clint Eastwood, because Clint Eastwood was kind of too stoic, he hardly said anything so I think John but John Wayne had that kind of dry, sardonic wit that I think Arthur took a page or two from that, and John Wayne you know he just had to kind of drawl […?????...] the way they would speak and move it was a bit of a swagger I think that I thought Arthur took from that.
Another really big influence was, a lot of people don't— Toshiro Mifune, I don’t know if you heard of him but he was in a lot of Kurosawa movies, he was in the Seven Samurai, Yojimbo, Sanjuro, he was like Kurosawa's go-to leading man, he played a lot of samurais. He was amazing 'cause he could be terrifying one minute and then funny the next and you know samurais and outlaws and a lot in common specially wandering ronin samurai's, the ones that were like clanless and leaderless, you know, they're just walking from village to village, there's a lot of similarities between that and the Wild West, and I think George Lucas picked up on that and the Yojimbo and Sanjuro they eventually went on to become remakes and in the spaghetti western world they went on to become A Fistful of Dollars and For a Few Dollars More, so the comparison between samurai feudal Japan and the Wild West in the US is definitely has been picked up by a few people.
Another big influence too is Rob Wiethoff who played John Marston, you know, if for no other reason I know I couldn't really do what he had done or at least try to recreate it word for word I thought I thought “no that that's not gonna work”. Cuz I was a huge fan of the first Red Dead myself and (MMAM: great voice!) I loved it! And don’t get me wrong, I mean Jack Marston great too but I sure didn't like playing as him, I miss John! I miss John, and it really changed my playing style too 'cause like once John - spoilers! - you know meets his end at the first Red Dead Redemption I just became a total outlaw bastard as Jack, I was on the rampage you know, I was an angry young kid you know, my parents are dead and I've gotta get these feds you know for what they did, so I was nasty and I thought to myself “You know, I hope people don't feel the same way about Arthur” and that second trainer came out and introduced Arthur Morgan as the lead in Red Dead Redemption 2, I did see a few comments and “Arthur who?!”, “we don't get to play as John man this sucks!” and to be totally honest with you I fully understood their feelings on that. Thankfully a lot of the fans seems to have given me a chance.
MMAM: So Roger how did your first screen opportunity, professional screen opportunity happen for you?
ROGER: Well I trained in the capital of Wales, which is part of the UK just West of England, and I went to drama school there in Cardiff, and I think my first foray into film was in Cardiff, first like doing student films as much as you do, and then some extra work for the local television there, there was a channel called S4C, they did a lot of stuff in Welsh which is kind of a Celtic language, it's like Irish Gaelic [but it's] Welsh but I would be an extra and a lot of those, I wouldn't have a clue what anyone was saying, I was just standing there they told me to stand, and then eventually I migrated to London you know because that's where more was the work was.
I started working on some British TV shows, you know bits and bobs really, most of my experience has been theater and performance capture, and voice over I would love to get into film and I am I'm starting to produce some of my own stuff now.
You know it's a very different beast the lens like the tiny focal point where millions and millions of your audiences is. On stage the audience is there, but I'm on camera the audiences right there, it's the tiny tiny pinpoint then you have to conscious of that I think when your performance where your audience is looking at you, you know.
MMAM: I've spoken with a lot of actors that started in theater that initially struggled with that transition of toning themselves down because they don't have to reach the background anymore.
ROGER: That's true, yeah, and you really do, is that's exactly everything, the camera picks up everything, sometimes you just have to think it and then the eyes will show it. On-camera less is definitely more it does take some work but I still think that theater is the best place to start off because you learn in real-time what works and what doesn't, you've learned and the timing is still similar you know if you're doing comedy or whatnot the timing is still similar, it's just the grandioseness of your performance like as you say, to make sure that guy in the back row can hear you.
Any aspiring actors should start off on stage, there's no filters between you and your audience they see exactly what you're doing and you can learn— if you if you learn to listen to them as much as they're listening to you, you can't help it get better because of that.
MMAM: I'm looking at your credit list Roger and something that— a show that I haven't thought about in a long time, I Shouldn't be Alive, I think they used to come on Discovery Channel, am I right? So were you one of those dramatizations where you know you got eaten by a shark, or a lion, or something...
ROGER: Mine was sharks yeah along time ago now. We filmed that in the Canary Islands and in Malta, it was nice locations, but yeah, that was a while back now, that was done when I was in the UK and came out on the Discovery in the US, I believe, that was when I was in the UK.
MMAM: So let's talk right [there] a little bit. Was that your typical audition or was it a 'right place, right time' situation for you?
ROGER: My agent knew that I like performance capture for gaming, cuz I had done it before so when she saw the breakdown she said “Are you up for this? I think you are” and I said yeah, I didn't know what it was. They're all the same title when you're auditioning, they're all called “Untitled Videogame Project”, and sometimes even they don't even tell you the studio, and in this particular case I knew it was Take Two but I didn't know it was Rockstar Games.
I was a little bit suspicious when they said to come in wearing cowboy boots and to have kind of a West Texan drawl, ‘cause it's just by pure serendipity I had just finished the first Red Dead Redemption about a month before this happened so I was like, “huh that's funny, I wonder if it's Red Dead” but I didn't get an answer to that question until maybe the second or third audition, by that point I knew it was Rockstar Games.
You know, it was it's very similar to a lot of other auditions, except one of the few differences was, usually you get the sides, or the lines, in advance, but with this one; no, you had to you showed up and then they gave you the page once you signed in, which has its advantages and disadvantages you know, and I think from their perspective they wanna see how quickly you can learn copy because a lot of the times you getting last minute rewrites you know, that happens a lot so I think they wanted to see how quickly you could learn something and also, of course, you know confidentiality is so important in the gaming industry they don't want— especially if it's for an existing franchise, you know, they don't want anything spoiled for the fans I want the fans to enjoy it as much as they possibly can when it first comes out, you know, so that was one of the differences from a typical audition.
And then we were working on it a while before I even got offered a contract you know, because you know, performance capture in a video game as much as it is similar to film and TV, there are a lot of differences too, and one of the differences is that as an actor, your contribution to a video game takes up a smaller piece of the whole pie than it does on film or TV, you know; what the animators do, and what the designers do, and what the engineers do, and even down to the QA guys, the guys who were looking for bugs day in, and day out, all of that stuff is vital for the development of the game and you need a bigger— a much much bigger team than on a film— most films, so that's another big difference.
But I'm just I'm so passionate about performance capture because I love the freedom, and I've seen the technology get better and better over the years too and as the technology gets better, more freedoms are given to the actor and you can do more, and as long as you learn to appreciate your animators 'cause they're— the animators on Red Dead 2 were just as valuable to me as the directors were, because they were able to answer all the questions that I had like what time of day is this? where— what's the geography? what's the weather like? so often the animators were answering those questions instead of the directors, so you know I just love the whole premise of working on a game, it's different from film you know.
In film the audience is a spectator, but in gaming the audience is a participant you know, it's more immersive in my opinion, [I don’t think many] people would argue with that.
23:29
MMAM: No, I mean you don't get to control the guy in the movie, you don't get to decide if he shoots the guy in the head. So were you given much direction for the voice of Arthur? where they kind of guide you? Or did you nail it?
ROGER: I was doing theater at the time during the whole audition process and my dresser, one of my fellows have helped me out with costume he was from Flagstaff, AZ, so he helped me a little bit and the only thing I heard from them was kind of like a West Texan, and I think some West Texan did end up with Arthur but there's some southern in there too like Louisiana, Arkansas, and I figured that was OK to have a bit of both you know, because he had traveled a lot from a young age and considering that the Red Dead the world is kind of like our world but not geographically the same, I mean it's funny you know there's references to New York and Tahiti and whatnot, but when you look at the map it's totally fictional.
So I figured that consistency was more important than any geographical accuracy to our country— to the real United States you know. He's got the soft R’s sometimes, you'll say “shoar” you know, but then other times he's quite Texan, he's kind of hard on the [R’s] you know, and that's I was going for Lubbock 'cause I've been— I'd worked in Lubbock for a while, and this feller from Flagstaff, AZ helped me out a lot too. We were doing it for five years, I would often get a little paranoid I'd be like “oh God, do I sound the same as I did three years ago?” and I'm like well let's see, and then we replay something from three years ago and I’d been like “Oh OK thanks, thanks, yeah” that was a valuable asset.
And then you got people like Rob Wiethoff and just talks in his normal voice, he's from Indiana I mean he is John Marston, he opens his mouth and that’s John. So he didn't have that problem you know.
Right. And you hear Ben Davis talk and he sounds almost exactly like Dutch
ROGER: There are similarities, yes, there are definitively.
You guys did a five years of motion capture? that's what you said?
ROGER: For Red Dead 2 yeah, and for the original cast even longer yeah, but for me five years.
Five years. Were you ever a bit worried or nervous when the game comes out we get like man I hope this is good just playing the game.
ROGER: Yeah I was terrified. ‘Cause we had no idea, we're working in complete secrecy, our NDA's were so strict and [????] that was a double-edged sword, because the advantages of that we were able to work completely unhindered, we were able to focus and concentrate just on the work and there wasn't really any distraction like people weren't calling me up 'cause they didn't know who I was so I was able to focus on it, but then the Con part of that is you know, what we did the amount of footage we put down, I think cutscenes alone, or you know or all the footage that we got as close to 9 or 10 hours they said about five maybe five seasons of a TV show? But we had no idea how it was gonna be received, there was no audience input, it was just all dumped on October 26th, 2018 for the world to enjoy or not. So we had to trust each other a lot, I had to trust the Rockstar team who had been through all that before with GTA and the first Red Dead and what and all their other amazing titles. So I had to trust them but yeah we had no idea.
I mean I remember thinking at the time as long as it's regarded as a worthy successor to the first one I'll be happy you know, as long as it's sold like as many or close to as many copies as the first one I'll be happy, and we far exceeded that.
MMAM: Oh yes. So when you first start playing, when does it finally coming over you like when you start to realize “Oh man this is really, really good”
ROGER: I don't know. I don't wanna admit to myself that it was good. I enjoyed it immensely.
Well, there was a lot of hype building up to it. I remember all those billboards popping up all over the world and people started for years you know, because of my NDA I wasn't able to tell anyone what I was working on. I would just say you know “it's a video game” after a couple of years people started to think I was he's talking out of my arse you know. [They’d go] “Are you still working on that video game Rog?", "Yeah", “How long has it been now? three years? four years? one video game?”, "OK yeah", "You know, if you're not working, we still love you pal, we think you're awesome you know, you don't have to create makeup jobs just to impress us?”
That conversation happened a few times and then the trailer came out in the billboards came out and people were like... "it's not that one, is it?" I'm like, I still couldn't say it! Once it got released— a few days after release, and once the reviews started coming in I was like “Oh OK, I guess people like it”.
28:05
MMAM:
Obviously you enjoyed the first Red Dead, you enjoy playing the game yourself. When did you when did you realize that for yourself when you're sitting there playing the game, that as a fan, that you enjoyed it?
ROGER: Oh I guess I knew I was going to enjoy it 'cause I’m huge Rockstar Games fan, I remember [I’ve always] been a fan of theirs since the first GTA, like when you were looking down from the Birds Eye view.
I remember that playing that in college, I knew I was gonna like it even if it was you know to look at the work, and not just our work, but look at all the other departments, like I mentioned before all the stuff that they had been doing in tandem with us, but unknown to us, so I was really excited to see how all of those departments worked synergized with each other, but I guess once the reviews started coming then I was like “holy cow, OK, I guess people are enjoying this” For an artist you can't ask for anything more than that, to have you work enjoyed on a scale like that it's really a dream come true to have an audience that large enjoy your work, it really is amazing.
29:04
MMAM: I mean you did a great job man, you deserve all the accolades you've gotten in regards to Arthur. I've played this sh*t out of that game and I love this sh*t out of that game and you did a great job.
Thank you man, cheers. It's probably gonna be on my gravestone and I'm totally happy with that.
MMAM: So what was the most difficult part for you about becoming Arthur, I mean aside from the five year NDA?
ROGER: Honestly, crouch running. Because you know no two studios do it the same way, but I did sometimes you'll have multiple performers during the performance capture, you'll have one guy doing the end game animations, and then I'll have the actor during the cutscenes that happens a lot, but I did everything apart from major stunts, so I all the end game animations is me and crouch-running was a *itch, that was hard.
It was like couple of days of it, because your first your crouch— you’re stealth crouch walking, then you’re crouch walking, then your crouch running, then you gotta do all those with one pistol, then you gotta do it with two pistols, then you do it with a shotgun, then you do it with a rifle, then you do it with a knife, and you do it holding a stick of dynamite, like my thighs were killing me man.
Rough on the knees….
ROGER: It’s a workout but yeah, that was the hardest part. Another hard part too, is just trying to wrap my head around— I had worked in gaming before, you know so I was familiar with the medium, but nothing at the same at this level, so I was trying to wrap my head around the differences between playing the lead in a game and a film or TV show ‘cause I knew that the player was going to be responsible for my behavior in a lot of situations, and I knew that there was going to be a 'Good Arthur' and a 'Bad Arthur' depending on on how they played and that was mostly binary, but it was kind of a spectrum too, and we did different scenes if, you know, if the player had low honor we would do different scenes and if they had high honor it would be another different scene, but sometimes they were the same scene and that was a challenge, because then I knew I had to come up with a performance that was ambiguous enough so that it would make sense either way, but yet still be truthful to Arthur.
So that was a bit of a juggling/balancing act that was kind of tricky but hopefully, I think, yeah that was but it was a great challenge, it was an interesting challenge.
MMAM: Does Roger Clark’s Arthur Morgan lean more towards High or Low Honor?
ROGER: It's called ‘Redemption’ right? I think the story is more rewarding if it's High Honor. Plus you don't have all the bounty hunters chasing after you all the time and things cost less in stores, if you have High Honor you don't pay as much for stuff. I think, you know, the beauty of it is Rockstar gives you the freedom to do it whatever way you want, but I think a High Honor playthrough is encouraged, and that should be too, I think it's more rewarding, the hint is in the title of the game you know?
MMAM: And if things do get hairy you can always resort to what you have to do you know.
ROGER: Oh yeah, and then you know and sometimes it's fun to shoot up Valentine and just leave no survivors, but if you do that just go to Saint Denis and say hello to everyone for 20 minutes you'll be fine, throw a few [fishtag?], pet a dog, no problem!
MMAM: You just mentioned you know you've worked with other video game studios before, so you can compare and contrast a little bit for us? You don't have to name a specific studio, but what is the level job from video game "Studio A" to Rockstar.
ROGER: Rockstar was is definitely top shelf. I was blown away by their level of technology compared to other studios that I have worked with.
Of course time had a factor of that too it been like a couple of years and the technology was advancing very fast, but the team all the team behind Rockstar, all the creatives and all of the tech guys and women are so talented, and so intelligent, and they we were all there and we all had a common goal and that was to create the best video game that we could so that was awesome.
Of course you know it's a very large organization too, you know sometimes it would take a while to get a clear answer from someone you know sometimes they had to go through the the levels to get an answer for some stuff you know, in other studios you don't— you can get a bit of a quicker response but for the most part I was just blown away by everyone's talent and commitment.
MMAM: So five years as Arthur. Can you take us through when you guys are recording those final moments? 'cause I believe been said before as he's walking away he's Dutch, he's actually crying, what was that moment like for you?
ROGER: We did those four endings for Arthur's you know right we did them in the fourth year I believe, and I had known it was coming for four years 'cause pretty early on we did the Thomas Downes mission— the debt collecting mission with Downes when he coughs in Arthur’s face, and that was a very specific stage direction so I was like [heck on him?] here and I'm Googling when the cure for TB was found when I put two and two together and they confirmed.
So for four years I knew what was going to happen to Arthur but I didn't know specifically how we would get our sides and usually a week or two in advance usually like a week in advance we would get our sides so I got them after four years of waiting to see how it would happen. I was very nervous 'cause I wanted to give the this characters goodbye justice, you know, I've been working on him for four years at this point. I was attached.
The first ending we did was the one where Ben was bawling his eyes out, he says he was I didn't see it, I was too busy dying! That one was that one was pretty nerve-wracking, I was very very nervous ‘cause I wanted to do it justice. It was the one High Honor helping John up on the mountain and then shortly after we did the Low Honor version of that where Micah gets you in the face and then we did the two alternative endings for when Arthur goes back to get the money. That was done in about a week and we might have returned back to do a one or two tiny little bits a few months afterwards.
But the first one the high honor helping John that was really hard, but then once I did that the other three were easier.
MMAM: Have you seen influx in your audiobook opportunities since the release of Red Dead?
ROGER: You know it's funny, yeah lot of— I'm just— I'm very— I love to work and I am hugely grateful for any and all opportunities that come my way, the opportunities that have come my way post Red Dead or not the ones that I was expecting but at the same time I'm very grateful for them you know if it weren't for audio books I don't know what I would have been doing during COVID ‘cause there was nothing else going on!
So I was very grateful for that and then I was able to work from home and be with my kids, do all those zoom school classes, right Colin?
Oh yeah! My wife is a teacher, we know all about those...
ROGER: Oh my gosh, I mean, let me say to your wife, after kind of helping her do her job for two years my I take my hat off to [her].
Oh I’ll let her know!
ROGER: Yeah, and a lot of a lot more gaming opportunities has come which I love, and I love working on— I love performance capture so much so I'm working on a game now with Troy Baker as a matter of fact, and oddly enough I mean there's some stuff I can't discuss, but this one was funny because the NDA wasn't as strict.
It's a Sci-Fi thriller set on Mars it's called Fort Solis and you can catch a trailer for it right now on YouTube. Solis is spelled S O L I S just so you know.
There was a lot of fun working with Troy we're still working on it, I don't know when it's gonna be out yet, there's talk of next year but you know, nothing official has been sent out yet, but it was a real joy working with Troy and I think hopefully we're gonna knock your socks off when it comes out.
But I just love working for on all of those opportunities that have come my way. I missed being in front of the camera though you know, it's funny I had more auditions on camera before Red Dead came out back when nobody knew who I was. The funny thing is that again I think a lot of people still think it's all done in a booth, that's one of the reasons why we've been trying to raise awareness about it because it's what Andy Serkis did on Lord of the Rings and Planet of the Apes it's the exact same thing.
MMAM: We're raising motion capture awareness here, so we're doing.
ROGER: The funny thing is like something you know some people get angry when I tell them though, that's the weird thing. It's like, "Thank you so much! Would you believe it you know most of it actually wasn't voice acting?" [and they're] like, "what do you mean? what are you talking talking about?!" They get angry— they get angry at me then! And then they tell me what my job was, 'cause they've been like, you know, some people— we still save voice acting it's like, I still call Pepsi 'Coke' sometimes.
MMAM: Yeah it's just a traditional term you know people think cartoons, guy standing in a booth doing voices, it's just that kind of thing.
ROGER: You know and there is nothing wrong with that either, and I do that a lot and I love it you know, but it's just a totally different beast, totally different beast.
MMAM: Right. Motion Capture sounds closer to theater than voice work.
ROGER: Yeah I would say so. The challenging thing voice acting is, it's usually just you, especially since COVID, it's just you and your life experiences and you've only got one tool to come up with a character and that is your voice. So in many ways I find P-Cap easier but I love the challenge of voice acting too, I really enjoy that as well.
MMAM: So Roger what's the best acting advice that someone has given you throughout your career?
ROGER: Oh man. I’ve heard so much. You gotta learn how to deal with rejection. Every ‘No’ brings you closer to your next ‘Yes’, and you book 100% of the roles that you were meant to book, you know.
It's hard, you can't take it personally, even though it is kind of is personal. You have to figure out a way not to take it personally and you know it's a fickle industry, talent is no guarantee, hard work is no guarantee, it's mostly luck and you still you know even [with] luck there's no guarantee, sometimes you need a certain combination of all three.
Now the best advice that I had ever been given is just “Work Begets Work”, that's where I've always stuck to, work begets work, because if you throw enough sh*t at the wall something will stick, eventually.
Well said. Have you seen any movies recently that have moved you?
ROGER: I liked The Batman, that was great. I watched it in IMAX and when that Batmobile starts up man, my seat was vibrating! What else? I saw Elvis, it was OK, Elvis was OK, the music is great.
But something that really blew me away? You know what I really enjoyed recently? It was Severance. It's on Apple+, Apple TV, it's a great show, that's awesome. Ben Stiller directed the whole thing, I really enjoyed that TV series’ first season, it's got nominated for loads of Emmy’s, Severance was awesome.
I had my wife [going like]: “How many things we got subscribed to now?” Oh well, OK I might check that out.
Yeah, we just had to get Hulu to watch Pray, I don't know if you've seen that but that's really good.
Pray?
It's new predator movie.
OOOOOOH YES!! And it's set in the past, right?
Mmm-hmm. 1700s. Is very Red Dead-y. You’d probably like it yourself.
ROGER: I’m gonna check that out. You know I really like— I love all of those ones, but the one that I enjoyed the most and didn't expect to was the one with Adrian Brody, I think it's called Predators.
MMAM: Yes, most recent one before this one I believe.
ROGER: That one was a lot of fun. We gotta do Predator v. Aliens next. I know there's been quite a few graphic novels of that, and I've enjoyed all of them, I think it's only a matter of time we should get out on film though.
MMAM: I think there was a Predator versus Alien movie that had Lance Hendrickson in the early 2000s.
You’re right, there was, there was!
MMAM: Another one. Why not another one?
Only one Predator survived.
MMAM: Yeah yeah yeah, giant—
And then the woman, right?
MMAM: Yeah, the giant alien brood mother at the end, they were running from it I think that's how they ended it.
And the jet just burned her, I remember it now, yeah. Those aliens are nasty.
MMAM: So Roger, is there anything on the horizon that you can tell us about without getting in trouble?
ROGER: Fort Solis! And there’s a couple of other games too, but I can’t talk about. But watch this space, if you wanna watch— keep an eye on my socials, I’m at rclark98 on Twitter and rollingrog on Instagram, and I just started Tiktok ‘cause gosh, you know, life isn't interesting enough without [more] social media and I'm RogerClarkActor on that one and I make a lot of announcements of my upcoming stuff on there.
I've started producing some short films, and we're doing the rounds with festivals with that right now and yeah, there's a lot of stuff coming up and I'm excited for y'all to see.
That's good news, but Roger has been great talking to you I'm gonna let you go get back to your family and go eat dinner and all that good stuff.
ROGER: Awesome! Yeah, I enjoyed it. Thanks for asking Justin. Alright you have a great evening.
Take care.
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