#the teen parenting trio were horribly enchanted by him

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

i’m obsessed with those “itkg finds out gojo raised megumi” fics & now i’m just giggling at the idea of like every month they find out megumi is someone’s boy. it could be yuuta. shoko. maki. gojo. etc.

kamo is fighting to get megumi as his boy but :( he’s just not valid enough. yuuji is seething at the idea that everyone get to claim megumi as their own in some fucking way but meanwhile, he can barely find the courage to hold his fucking hand.

kugisaki is just wondering if megumi is like the village baby. like does she need to step up? she absolutely will because she needs a doll to practice makeup on & etc. gotta put those lashes to good use.

(also the idea of gojo using jujutsu terms to describe the most parental things like sex. god i don’t even wanna imagine his period talk.)

Megumi had to give the period talk.

It was the second worst and most painful talk of his life. It used to be the first, and then Gojo decided that Megumi needed to learn about safe sex and the magic of his changing body. megumi almost killed them both just to end that conversation.

Tsumiki was unfortunate enough to have hit her period before everyone else in her class, and she was always kind of isolated from the rest of the kids because of Everything with her home life. She wasn't inviting people over for sleepovers, and she didn't really go on them herself. Her mom was completely checked out of her life from a young age. And I head canon her as someone who tends to neglect her own needs in favor of everyone else's. So she had absolutely no idea what was happening when her period came. She hadn't heard of it at school yet. She hadn't heard of it from her mom. She hadn't thought to look up what exactly happened in puberty for herself yet. She thought she was bleeding internally. She thought she was dying. It was a point of hysteria.

It did not help that Shoko had spent years lying wildly about what happened on a girl's "time of the month" to Gojo and Geto. To this day, Megumi has no idea what Gojo thought happened on a woman's period, but it sounds suspiciously like lycanthropy. As a result, Gojo also thought she was bleeding internally. He almost teleported her to Shoko for healing. He was about to take her to a hospital.

Luckily for them both, Megumi secretly loves his sister and had very quietly prepared for this eventuality while hoping beyond hope that it would never come to be.

He didn't want to do it. He just knew that Tsumiki wouldn't think of herself and that she didn't have a mom to walk her through this. At least for him, he knew that Gojo had lived through the amab puberty experience. He assumed that Shoko would step up to the plate when the time came, but Shoko was more of a wine aunt than a mom figure, and he just wanted a contingency if she didn't.

He read a book on what to expect with puberty for afab reproductive systems. He immediately returned this book to the library. He said nothing about any of this to anyone ever. He shut the fuck up about it for years. He was happy not talking about it.

Until Tsumiki got her period. And it was treated like cause for a hospital visit instead of the corner store.

Megumi calmed them both down. He told them that they were going to shut up, sit down, and listen. Absolutely no eye contact would be allowed for the duration of this conversation. They would never speak of this again. There would be no questions at the end. Everyone shut the fuck up and listen.

It was a comprehensive and medically accurate explanation. There were diagrams pulled up from the internet. He gave one (1) stiff hug to his sister and informed her that if they ever spoke of this again, he would have no choice but to kill them both. Then, he went upstairs and tried to forget it ever happened.

legitimately every time they turn around, they find out that Megumi is someone else's Boy. First it's Yuuta, and that's a crisis and a half--mostly for Yuuji, who seethes with a quiet and unexpected jealousy. Then it's Maki, who very unexpectedly fussed over Megumi's injuries after a mission and lectured him about being careful before sending him to bed. Then it's Gojo and finding out that Megumi is literally his boy, like he's his legal adoptive son. Then it's Panda and Inumaki, who have decided that the Village Baby custody agreement that only exists in their head means it's Their Right to harass any of Megumi's potential romantic partners, leading to a very confusing conversation with Itadori, who was still buffering with his gay awakening and hadn't realized he was a potential partner.

It's not Kamo. It's never Kamo.

(Kamo: he could be my boy

Maki, not missing a beat: he really couldn't

Kamo: he could--

Maki: he never will be)

Nobara doesn't have Yuuji's homosexual drive to make Megumi Her Boy but she does have a rapidly developing codependency with him and a healthy sense of competition. Fuck it, he's her boy now. She'll do it better than everyone else. She's got Her Boys and none of them go outside without the other two anymore. They're a Unit. they're gay idiots but they're her gay idiots. Fuck off.

Megumi absolutely has no awareness of any of this happening and would not be happy if he found out it was.

[immacaria]

Of fangs and knives

  Hi again! So this is a mash-up of days 3 and 4: Snakes and Crime AU of Sangcheng december. Nie Huaisang is a naga, he can transform himself into fully human or fully snake and has been dating Jiang Cheng for five years now. They live with Wei Wuxian, who can turn himself into a bird, fully or partially. Jiang Cheng can’t transform himself into anything, but it doesn’t mean he is defenceless, you can’t be when you are the heir of one of the most powerful mafia’s clans. So, that’s it! Hope you enjoy it! 

  When Nie Mingjue was born, Qinghe threw a party that lasted three days, more than happy that their leaders had a child to bask in their love and happiness. When the Nie power couple decided to become the Nie power trio, marrying a gentle but strong village girl, Qinghe celebrated for three days. When the news that a new heir was to be expected that year, they screamed at the top of their lungs for three days. But, when the younger heir was born, a boy named Nie Huaisang, Qinghe did not throw parties nor screamed at the top of its lungs like before. Not when the newborn was such a monster, half human half snake. 

  They couldn’t understand how such evil could come from such good. It wasn’t right, it wasn’t possible. So the only reason possible to explain that was that the village girl was not a village girl, but an evil spirit that had fooled their poor leaders and crawled into their lives with no more intentions than to destroy all the good in their hearts. They were certain of that, but the Nie family didn’t seem affected by that, covering the newborn with love and gifts, like he was normal. The boy grew up gentle and caring, very much like his mother, and as soon as he started walking, or better crawling around with his upper body lifted by his lower body, everybody discovered that his tail could become human legs. 

  As he continued to grow up, more things were being discovered about him. 1. He could eject venom in whatever form he took, let it be totally human or just half. 2. He could transform himself in full snake, usually doing it to wrap himself around his older brother's neck and sleep while he trained. 3. His tail was fairly strong and so was his naga form, but his human form was weak, at least to Qinghe’s normal. 4. Nie Huaisang, despite all the fear in the beginning, had conquered everybody’s heart in his few years of living. 

  Even though he was showered with love and attention, Nie Huaisang’s life was surrendered by tragedy since the start. When he was two years old, Nie Heng, the mother of Nie Mingjue and wife of Nie Qiang and Nie LiMing, fell sick. At first it was just a cold, but it wouldn't go away and everybody started to get worried of what would happen to her if they didn't find a cute cure for that. All around people wanted to shelter both of the children of what could happen to Nie Heng, they somehow knew that their mother was sick and feeling bad. 

  After finishing training, Nie Mingjue would bring his baby brother and sit at his mother's bed to tell her about his days and the adventures that Nie Huaisang had got himself into. She would laugh out loud, back to herself for some moments, especially at the little adventures that they got themselves into when they were running away from a teacher or from Nie Qiang. They would wrap around her, Mingjue at her side and Huaisang on her chest, and sleep until one of their other parents got in the room and saw the scene. They would call the other and join the party too, cuddling their sons and wife. They all did everything in their power to make sure that Nie Heng was happy and received the best treatment existing, but nothing seemed to help her and by the end of the year, sadness had fallen on the Nie family’s house. 

  One year later, Nie LiMing was killed by the babysitter they hired to help them. She was one of the remaining people that still believed that both her and Nie Huaisang were evil spirits and everything bad that happened in Qinghe was their fault. But Nie LiMing wasn’t going to let her take the best and fought for hers and her son’s lifes. She fought back and wounded the assassin mortally, guaranteeing that both of her sons were going to be safe and sound even if she wasn’t there anymore to protect them from harm. She was buried with Nie Heng on the tomb of the Nie family. 

  It was a great blow on both the kids and Nie Qiang, their lives changed completely and dificultated by the fact that neither Nie Qiang nor Nie Mingjue trusted enough in anyone else to take care of the young Huaisang. They adapted to it, they made it work, not only for them but for Nie Huaisang and the memory of wives/mothers they lost. Nie Huaisang was raised by his brother and father, surrounded by love and affection, growing up with the stories of his mothers and getting to know them by those who remained. Even if there was that hollow, blank feeling of loss and sadness inside him, his brother and his father were there to alleviate and do what they could to let him know that both Nie Heng and Nie LiMing loved him to the moon and back. 

  The three of them lived happy and together for seven, almost eight years, before another tragedy struck at them again. Nie Mingjue was nineteen years old and Nie Huaisang was ten when Nie Mingjue got into college, making their father almost explode in pride and joy. Immediately, they booked a trip to celebrate it where they spend a whole week in a cozy cottage, doing whatever they wanted to do. They laughed, relaxed and joked around, laughing even when they were going back home. They were almost home when another car hit them with full force, right on the side that Nie Qiang was. 

  “A-Sang?” Jiang Cheng nudged Nie Huaisang’s head, waking him up. “It’s time to go. I solved what I had to.”

  “Wei-xiong?” Nie Huaisang lifted his head from the pillow, rubbing one of his eyes. 

  “Gone, already.” He answered, helping him get up. “You good to go? Or want to keep sleeping?” 

  “Last.” He yawned, holding his hands on his. 

  “My neck?” He chuckled, putting Nie Huaisang’s arms around his own neck. In response, Nie Huaisang only hummed in agreement and in a blink of eyes, there was a dark green snake circling his neck. “Obvious.” He chuckled again, getting both of their backpacks and leaving the room they were. They went to Lotus Pier to a family dinner between the Jiang siblings and a business meeting between Jiang Cheng and Jiang Fengmian. While his boyfriend was at the meeting, Nie Huaisang took the chance to sleep a little more. Since the death of his dad, Nie Mingjue was the one who did everything in his power to keep his little brother growing up safe and sound. He succeeded on his task to keep him well, but it too was known that he managed to spoil him to the ends of the earth and transform the Second Master Nie on a menace. Kidding, kidding. He was just a half of a menace. 

  “A-Cheng.” Nie Huaisang sibiled on his ear, lifting his head. “What do you want for dinner?” He saw Jiang Cheng put his earphones on, no music playing on them. 

  “No takeout.” Jiang Cheng answered, adjusting the snake on his neck. “I will make dinner, don’t worry. I’m thinking of boar. Or fish.”

  “I like them both.” He said, his tongue licking his earlobe jokingly. 

  "Stop that." 

  "You are cute."

  "And you a menace." 

  "A-Cheng." He screamed, buttheading his chew weakly and making him laugh quietly, soon Nie Huaisang was laughing too. They met when both of them were fourteen and had just arrived on Gusu to some summer classes they were giving and, gods, it was boring. But the presence of Jiang siblings made it more entertaining and bearable, especially because Wei Wuxian was like him, but in a bird version. Interesting enough, he enchanted himself with Lan Zhan and forgot about Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng, much to his entertainment. 

  Someway, between being acquaintances and then friends, soon turning into best friends, Nie Huaisang developed feelings for the other. Under that aggressive, scowling appearance, there was a sweet and caring boy and even under that one was more and more layers that made Jiang Cheng what he was. Yeah, there was a thing or another that wasn’t perfect or that Nie Huaisang didn’t agree with, but nobody was perfect, not even Jiang Cheng, not even Nie Mingjue. Who was the reason for them to start dating. 

  “What are you thinking about now?” Jiang Cheng said suddenly, sitting on a seat on the train. "I'm making dinner, stop thinking." 

  "I'm not Wei-xiong, I don't think about food twenty-fours per day." Nie Huaisang said, closing his eyes. 

  "Bold of you to think that my brother thinks about food twenty-four per day. He thinks about Lan Wangji twenty-four hours per day." He corrected him, closing his jacket, their backpacks between his legs. "It's horrible."

  "I think it's cute." He chuckled, looking around. There was a young woman bouncing a child in her legs, a group of teens with bright colours on their hair laughing out loud of some joking one of them said and two seats away of them were a man, almost as tall as Nie Mingjue, but slim and not-strong looking. Still, he was giving him bad vibes, especially with the way he kept looking between them and the group of teens. 

  "What the hell, A-Sang?" Jiang Cheng said, wrapping his hand around his mouth when he hissed at the man, showing his long, dropping-venom at him. "I'm sorry, sir. He's kind of stressed." He smiled at the man, pushing his head away. 

  "No problem, young man. Just try to keep it under control, yes?" The man said, smiling nervously while sleeping one seat away from them. But even if his mouth and face said he was nervous and afraid, his eyes show that he was furious and absolutely unpleased for the fact that people were now looking at him, including the group of teens he was observing. 

  “Yeah, sorry.” Jiang Cheng smiled back, too slipping away from him. 

  “I don’t like him. Bad vibes.” Nie Huaisang said, wrapping himself tighter around his neck. “He looks wrong.”

  “Sorry, Jiejie, A-Sang got a little crazy over here. You were saying?” He said, adjusting the earphones. What the hell was he saying? Had he gone crazy? “Don’t you know that Wei Wuxian always looks wrong? But, yeah, I think there’s something wrong.” Oh, there it was, he hadn’t gone crazy, he just was trying to throw off any attention that existed on them. “What about it?”

  “He was looking at the girls over there and at you too.” He said, looking back at the young girls. “He wasn’t looking distractly and he was looking way too interested in you.”

  “Yeah, I think so too. But what about it? I can’t exactly do something about it, can I?” 

  “You can protect yourself, distract him away from the girls.” 

  “You know, I think you are getting a little paranoid over there.” He got up when the train stopped. “But, at the same time, you aren’t so wrong.” He side-eyed the strange man as they passed by him. The train station wasn’t so far away from where they lived and maybe they would be able to get home without bigger incidents than earlier. At the least that’s what Jiang Cheng was hoping for as he dashed up the stairs, but he heard Nie Huaisang hiss again and knew that it wasn’t going to be an easy night for them. “Do I need to call Wei Wuxian or the cleaners?”

  “He is following us. Blood on his eyes. I think calling Wei-xiong is a good idea.” He answered, still looking at the man following him. 

  “Do you think you can take care of him alone? Or do you need help?” He looked above his shoulder, calculating how far away the man was from them. 

  “I don’t think so.” He hissed as Jiang Cheng turned on a corner, typing Wei Wuxian’s number away. Nie Huaisang unwrapped himself from his boyfriend’s neck slowly, aiming at the approaching man and as soon as he took out a knife, he jumped at his neck, biting his jugular. He heard the desperate and scared screams of a man who was not ready to meet death yet as Jiang Cheng pulled the knife from him, getting behind him and shoving it at the front base of his neck, a deep ugly cut being open. He jumped into the air, his feet meeting the ground with a weak thump. “Is he dead?” 

  “If he isn’t, he is going to be very soon.” Jiang Cheng shrugged, sticking the knife to the guy’s shoulders. “Wei Wuxian said that we can go, he’s on his way.” 

  “Okay, then.” He turned around, licking his lips and feeling the distinctive flavour of blood and his own venom on his mouth. “You okay there?” He enlaced their fingers as they walked to their apartment side by side. 

   “It should be me asking you that. How much venom did you distill?” Jiang Cheng said, kissing their fingers. 

  “Not much, just enough to paralyze him and kill him slowly.” He answered, feeling himself blush. “I still don’t get how you like me.”

  “Ready back at you.” He scowled, rolling his eyes. “Let’s go home, I’m hungry.” And to their house they went, hearing a fading flapping of wings behind them.