#the thing is that if i see someone mention an unhinged fandom in passing i have to know EVERYTHING about it

[camgirlkaminari]

ugh i MAY OR MAY NOT have fallen into a deep hole i cant get myself out of. my commitment to the bit will be my downfall. im like some sort of. rule 34 gajinka. human erotic tulpa generator. anyway last night i drew bowuigi porn

[lulu2992]

Hi! I had a question. In multiple audios and even in game, there’s a pattern that John is fixated on pain and even women’s pain (Joey, Mary May, and the young woman he mentioned in the collapse that he killed after a night out because of anger) and even he was being a big creep when Mary May saw him for the first time (she was 16-17 wasn’t she), “eyeing her like a piece of meat”. If you can believe the ages given to us, he’s clearly much older than Mary May, and the cults been there for 9-10 years, she’d have to be minor.

My question is, why do you think the fandom and people dismiss his violent urges toward women and he was fixated on minor but still demonize Joseph when John was clearly unhinged on his own?

Sorry if its all wordy and all over the place, I just love your takes and respect your thoughts!

Hi! And thank you very much for your appreciation :)

We know John has a fixation with pain because of the “freeing” experience he explains he had when he was young, and he hurts people for this reason, but I really don’t think he enjoys inflicting it on women specifically. It’s probably a coincidence that Hudson is a woman and was sent to him instead of Jacob or Faith. The game never suggests that he would have treated Pratt or Burke differently if they had been placed in his “care” instead.

Someone in Far Cry 5 says John is “obsessed with the people in Fall’s End, and with Mary May in particular”, but nothing clearly indicates it’s because she’s a woman. The way I see it, it’s because the Resistance is strong in Fall’s End and Mary May is one of its “three biggest pillars”, as John himself wrote. Evidence shows he’s also “obsessed” with Jerome and Nick for the same reason: they keep resisting and fighting back. Mary May is stubborn, refuses to sell her business to Eden’s Gate, continues to serve alcohol, and essentially keeps saying “no” to John, so I think that explains why he has taken an interest in her. By the way, during the Deputy’s Atonement, even though Mary May is there, John mostly focuses on hurting Nick and Jerome instead, so it doesn’t look like he prefers torturing women to me.

And we’re not sure how old Mary May is, actually. The only official age we have for her is revealed in Far Cry Absolution: 30 years old. I know the Wiki says she was born in 1993 (so 25 years old in 2018) but I think that sounds young… For what it’s worth, Tasya Teles, who played Mary May in Far Cry 5, was born in 1985. And in the novel, John is said to be about 40, which makes much more sense, mathematically speaking, than his age on the Wiki (32 years old). When the Deputy arrives in Hope County, Eden’s Gate has been there for at least 9 years (since August 2009), so if John visited the Spread Eagle in 2009 and the age provided in Absolution is accurate, Mary May was about 21 at the time.

As for the woman John supposedly murdered before Joseph found him… like every new piece of information “revealed” in the Far Cry 6 Season Pass, I think it should be taken with a huge grain of salt. The incident was never mentioned anywhere else before, and while there’s no denying that John is capable of violence and murder, I don’t think him losing control and killing someone while he was working as a lawyer makes sense. According to The Book of Joseph, John Duncan’s anger was strong but it was also “suppressed”, so I doubt he would have physically assaulted anyone at that time. He was “full of rage” but apparently never let it out when he was still “society’s very model of success”.

So I don’t think the fandom ignores that John enjoys making women suffer, thought 16-year-old Mary May looked sexy, and murdered one of his lovers out of anger because these “facts” are all conjectures in the first place! If many people never mention those things about him, I think it’s simply because they know they’re not really canon and mostly come from the fan-created Wiki (which was also used as a source of information by Collapse’s writers). It’s undeniably canon that John is violent and obsessed with pain, but it’s not that he likes to inflict it on women specifically or that he committed murder as John Duncan, and Mary May being only 25 was never officially confirmed, either…

It’s true, however, that people tend to demonize Joseph more than his siblings and blame him for the bad things they do. He’s not innocent, of course, but John, Jacob, and Faith already had a lot of personal issues before they became his Heralds, and I disagree with those who say that they would have been better off without him. Things would have been different, yes, and maybe the cult wouldn’t have existed, but I don’t think their lives would have been better. In my opinion, they would all just have died sooner (and in poorer mental health)… In John’s case, considering he was on a self-destructive path and desperately trying to fill the void inside him, I believe he would have let “John Duncan” consume him completely and ended up drowning in his excesses.

So I agree with you when you say that John already was “unhinged on his own”, in a way, and that Joseph is often blamed for everything, even what he didn’t do. However, I wouldn’t say that the fandom dismisses the other things you mentioned because they’re not facts, just fan theories and interpretations not everybody likes or agrees with.

[leopardom]

i thought i wouldn't end up making one of those sappy posts before the end of 2023 but here we are i guess

what i wanna say in advance is a huge thank you, and that i'm sorry

this year has been a nightmare for me and i can't stress that word enough. i won't get into details, if you follow me you may have seen some occassional rant posts. long story short though, i'm ending 2023 being mentally exhausted af and even though i'm not in my most optimistic mood, i hope 2024 will not as shitty as 2023

as of my tumblr presence, there have been some changes. i jumped from one fandom to another without completely leaving the bc fandom. i'm just not that much in the mood anymore. maybe this will change once the new album is out? we'll see 👀 and jumping to another fandom means that i lost contact with so many people from the bc fandom. i promise you i didn't do this on purpose and i don't hate or stopped liking any of you. it just... things got weird and a bit too much in my head and now idk how to keep contact without looking extremely weird in this fandom

anyway! entering another fandom has been weird not only in means of interests but also in means of communication. ever since i remember my tumblr activity in any fandom, i always tried to interact as much as possible with other accounts and talk with people, whether that was via posts or messages. in the jo fandom i feel like i have kinda failed that

i'm aware that i post a lot and i'm probably everywhere with the content updates and the gifs. and that may be annoying to some people. and i understand it, i don't like it but i understand it and i wanna apologise for being... all over the place yet not really reaching out to anyone in the fandom or building any kind of online friendship

idk if there's an accurate explanation for the way i feel about this so i'll put it in the best words possible: i wanna make jokes and have fun in here and exchange random messages or mentions in posts and talk shit or not about jo etc, but i feel like my social anxiety (both online and offline) has passed any limit i had put to it until now that i end up thinking it's actually wrong to interact with anyone in this fandom. because everyone has already connected with some people and have built a specific line of interests and you all seem so fucking cool for someone who is as insecure and scared to talk as me so i end up hiding behind my gifs, shitposts and content updates in hopes that people will like me or at least aknowledge i exist in this fandom. and again, that's all on me, there's no one to blame for this behaviour but me and my fucked up mind (which got even more fucked up in the past year). so idk, i feel like i wanna apologise for this, for being like that

however, no matter the anxiety, i must admit that the jo tumblr fandom was actually my escape when things in real life got bad bad. i've spent hours scrolling through the jo and kaarija hashtags in hopes of seeing something unhinged and funny to lift my mood and you know what? i found something every single time. and that was more than nice. if it wasn't for all of you being as funny and crazy (in a positive way) as you are, i'd feel even worse. but every time i open the jo hashtag there's someone posting a wholesome thing or saying something unhinged like how many ways has Kris listed to kill Bojan in his sleep lmao

anyway i ended up writing a lot, this could easily be an entry to the journal that i don't keep but maybe should start keeping. if you read until this point, congratulations for going through all this ramble and i'm sorry

hope 2024 is gonna be a lot different than 2023 but in a good way this time. and i hope i get better and actually get to interact more with all of you great people 💕 and obviously i hope you all have a fantastic year ahead of you 💖

[thefourchimes]

🍌🍈

Wasn't able to answer this last night as I had passed out and then I got really busy the whole day today, whoops, my bad about that, but here we go!

🍌 In your opinion, what’s the funniest joke/reference/pun you’ve made in a fic?

Ooooh...well, as mentioned in the previous ask, I haven't actually posted anything for Encanto yet, and while I probably have a lot of possible choices from my other fandoms, I can't remember any from the others off the top of my head atm oof

Plus most of my stuff is angst instead of crack AHSFUIHAFS but I'll do my best

So yes, a joke/reference/pun I've made for a fic...I honestly have a few in mind right now for Encanto, ones from the 233 page AU, but if I say it now, it'll lose its magic when I hopefully post it AHSFUHASF

I'll probably just mention this one scene I had written for the one All of Us Are Dead fic I have, one that still makes me laugh every time I reread it:

It probably doesn't help that my sense of humor sucks but it's funny to me at least HASUFHASF

My bad if I wasn't really able to answer this properly 😅

🍈 Who’s your blorbo and what are some of your favorite headcanons/ideas about them that repeatedly show up in your fics? Free pass to rant about blorbo opinions.

Ah, this question <3

I don't think I made it too obvious as to who my blorbo is before, besides a few posts and the fact that I love all the cool sisters so much, so yeah, guess it's time to "reveal" it

It's Isabela

I remember watching Encanto again all those months ago, the moment where my hyperfixation was about to rear its head and grab me by the throat, never letting go

As that was happening, the feral, chaotic, and unhinged cactus gremlin sister decided to jump me too

I can't remember exactly when I knew she was my favorite, but I just knew that she already was before I even fully realized it

I had WECID on repeat for a long while at one point

I think her exploring herself after everything hit me hard, I relate to her so much in a way, ngl... (except the hilarious thing is that I'm not even Isabela in this case, I'm the youngest out of my three siblings so I'm technically Mirabel in a sense ASHFIASF)

But anyway, I digress, my thoughts on her (along with my ideas for her that pop up in fics—er, will pop up anyway) are so wild that I'm not too sure on how to write it down in paragraph form, plus it probably won't be anything new since someone else in the fandom has probably already mentioned these, but I guess we keep going with it in a chaotic and wild way, true to Isabela's character (apologies in advance for the explosion of thoughts—except also not really sorry):

She's chaos incarnate, a force of nature that is so very extra and so petty as hell but it's okay because we love it sm

We don't get to see it all as much though because of her mask, but that just makes me even happier since she gets to be free post movie

She's acrobatic and athletic as seen in WECID, not to mention her skill with vine swinging, but that doesn't mean she didn't get at least a bit of clumsy genes from Agustin in some way, she just hides it pretty well due to her mask of perfection

She's always colorful and changing colors every time, experimenting with all the possibilities and she changes the color of her hair strand a lot too

She makes and discovers and explores all kinds of plants (ones she keeps track of to know what they are and what they can do), but we all know she has a soft spot for cacti <3

She knows a lot about flower and plant language, whether already having knowledge during the movie or learning after

She loves her family so much that she would and has sacrificed her happiness for them, that's something I admire so much but am also sad about because she really loves her family that she wants them happy even if she can't be happy, ow—

This seems to be a consensus the fandom has: she's one of the ones who will most likely murder someone and will kill for her siblings, very protective of her sisters and her family <3

Speaking of which, she has a ridiculously overpowered gift, one she has just as ridiculous control over as well, that I cackle and shake my head every time when someone just underestimates her and her gift

We know how she wants to be free but is feeling trapped as she's forced into perfection, half due to her own making and half due to others boxing her in, so there are lots of fake smiles and pretending on her part, but that does mean she's a pretty good actress considering she had everyone fooled for so long

I fucking love her bonds and relationships with her sisters and her cousins, but, as my PFP is indicating, especially the cool sisters

They weren't close with each other for several reasons for a long while, not even mentioning the strained relationship between her and Mirabel, but to see them have the chance to connect again and make up for everything was done and all that happened after the events of the movie? I love it so much aaaaaa

She teases the hell out of them in various ways, that's for sure, the sister vibes are so real <33

But that doesn't mean the cousins are left out here, ofc, the exploration of dynamics is always so nice and fun to see

I love all the grandkids so much <33333

I want to keep going so badly but I feel like I'd never finish this ask if I do AUISFHUIASHF plus I'm very sure I forgot something, but oof 😔

Ngl, this was me the entire time I was trying to answer this question:

Isabela <33

yep, that tracks HASFUIAHSF but yeah, thanks for the ask!! :DD <33

[rsmrymnt-tea]

So are people forgetting about the old chat about Asmo asking the brothers how frequently they bath. Levi responded he takes an hour long baths because his snake-like skin will turn dry and he can't have that. So yeah those headcanons about Levi being dirty are dumb. And you have proof about him bathing in that picture.

This is a bit of a rant but I seriously hate how Levi is written in fanon. It's either he's stinky, a crybaby or just a hermit and that's not even the scent of his character. I at least do write him according to his character. Sure he 's much more sensitive than his brothers and easily cries but he doesn't like do it all the time. That is why I seriously dislike fanon things they usually ruin everything. So yep those are my points, I don't intend to be a jerk to the creators just pointing out how I feel with Levi in fanon. Or fanon in general.

Omg?? Do you remember which chat and what chat name? I tried looking but I don’t think I’ve played the game long enough to get it yet :((

And honestly yeah sadly every character’s kind of reduced to some over-simplified version or even straight up mischaracterized by fanon to some degree. It doesn’t help that a lot of content is locked away either by time (chat messages), effort (the fucking grind to get your cards strong enough to get through main story), and luck and/or money (the Devilgrams). And even then what sticks is usually the very obvious and the easy to portray—like how Lucifer ends up a boring boomer workaholic even though he definitely has a playful side that just wants to let loose, Satan gets reduced to being a cat-obsessed bookworm even though he’s much more than that and has interests outside of books and cats, Asmo turns into the queer trendy bestie that everyone forgets is also the most openly unhinged out of the brothers, and the most baffling of all, a super innocent and shy Simeon that seems to be based purely on the fact that he’s an angel.

Also Diavolo isn’t stupid. He’s sometimes clueless but the man’s just sheltered, not an idiot. Depending on how you understand some chapters, it becomes clear that there’s a very good chance that he intended for everything in Ch 12-16 to happen just to help out Lucifer and his family. Yet he also has some semblance of regret in him as seen in S2 in that conversation with MC in the Coliseum, though it’s up to you whether you think his regret involves what he did in S1 or of it’s just him wondering if it was a good choice to emotionally blackmail Lucifer into become his right hand man forever.

It gets frustrating when it becomes all you see. Sure, there’s content where it’s fun but when it becomes clear that it’s actually what most fans think of them, it gets old and makes you wonder if people are looking at the same material as you. And, well, it makes things repetitive and boring and sometimes it makes the devs bite and pander, thereby reducing your fave’s complexity over time instead of fucking adding to it. So I get your frustration because it frustrates me sometimes too :/

Like people can write what they want and do what they want, in the end it’s all just good fun and everyone’s desperate to get their share of serotonin to get by. But I also can’t help but wish that, y’know, we get to see more dimension written into the characters in fandom-made work more often. I deeply enjoy world-building and theorycrafting and character analyses for this reason, plus work that explores parts of the cast that are only mentioned in passing or by other characters. The Admiral Levi talk I’ve been seeing is really nice and I’ve seen someone trying to create and flesh out Beel’s fangol team, which I honestly wish the devs would get into too. Would also kill for more canon Asmo and Beel character development >.>;; They really need it.

[marvelslut16]

Not-so-secret boyfriend

Prompt number: 9 “Will you look at this?”

Fandom: Marvel

Paring: Peter Parker x Stark!reader

Rating: T

Word count: 1.1k

Warnings: Swearing. Mentions teenagers possibly sleeping together, no smut. Use of penis Parker.

A/N: Who knew I’d make it to day 4 of fictober? I didn’t know I could be this consistent. First time writing for Peter, so yay and yikes. I don’t know why, but I really love this one!

When FRIDAY said that your father requested your presence in the compounds living room immediately, you instantly were confused and a bit nervous. It took quite a bit to piss off the one and only Tony Stark, he’d been relatively understanding with you and your attitude through the years, you were his offspring so you obviously got his sarcasm. 

Your nerves only continued to grow when you came face to face with a nervous looking Peter already waiting in the living room, he should be on patrol and not in his math pun shirt in your home. Your father had enrolled you in Midtown School of Science and Technology two years ago when he was scouting spiderman and had learned it was Peter. Luckily for your dad you're the same age as the spider boy. You quickly realized that he and Ned are pretty funny and really fun to be around and quickly befriended the pair for real and not just for your dad. Because of this you asked him to stay enrolled after Peter was recruited, and your dad agreed claiming it would look great on college applications. As if (Y/N) Stark wasn’t enough to immediately admit you into the college of your choice.  

That was about a year ago now, and you and Peter had finally admitted your feelings for each other four months ago, having been dating in secret since then. Your father didn’t question all the time you spent with Peter since you had already been his friend for so long, he thought the statute of limitations for you two having feelings for each other had come to pass ages ago. He slept a little easier knowing his daughter and his prodigy weren’t sleeping together. 

Before you can ask Peter why he’s here a fuming Tony Stark enters the room, holding what looks to be a magazine. Whatever was wrong had to be serious since your dad had a physical copy of whatever it was instead of just using his technology to pull up the article. 

“Will you look at this?” your dad’s voice is gruff and you know he’s pissed off as he tosses the magazine onto the table- front cover facing up. 

You come face to face with pictures of you and Peter at school; one is the two of you at lunch, your holding each others hands, you’re laughing at something he had just told you, and he’s looking at you with what can only be described as a look of love; there’s another where the photographer caught you giving Peter a quick peck on the cheek before running off to class; the third and final photo is the most damning, Peter had gotten gutsy yesterday and grabbed your cheek pulling you in for a kiss in the middle of gym class, and apparently someone had caught your quick exchange. Ned and MJ were the only two that knew about your relationship, and you suspected that Aunt May’s known for a few months now but hasn’t said anything, but other than that you two thought you were being sneaky. Apparently not. 

“One of you best start fucking explaining this! Now!” his glare shifts back and forth from you to Peter. 

“I-it’s not what it looks like Mr. Stark!” Peter’s voice goes up an octave as he lies. He doesn’t want to ruin his relationship with you or have Mr. Stark, his mentor, hate him. 

“Like Hell it’s not!” your dad takes a step towards the coffee table, pointer finger jabbing the picture of you and Peter with locked lips. “That’s not nothing. Or are you just screwing my daughter Parker?”

“No!” Peter practically yells. “There’s no screwing going on! We aren’t even old enough for that yet. And I don’t know how to buy condoms. Can I even buy condoms at this age-”

“Peter, sweetie,” there’s a warning in your voice. “Just shut up.”

“(Y/N), would you care to explain?” your father’s face softens slightly as he looks into your eyes for the first time, he can see the worry swimming in your (Y/E/C) eyes. 

“We’ve been secretly for a few months now,” you put up your hand when he opens his mouth to cut in. “We didn’t want you to freak, so we put it off. And then we kept putting it off and I was scared you’d be mad that I hadn’t told you right away. And we wanted to avoid this,” you gesture to the magazine, title reading ‘Major PDA alert! (Y/N) Stark seen canoodling with Stark Enterprises youngest intern Peter Parker! Classmates say they can’t keep their hands- or lips- to themselves!’ “We aren’t even public at school! Those are the only three times we’ve ever slipped up and people got photographs of them.”

Your dad nods at you before turning back to Peter, “so what are your intentions with my daughter?”

“I- uh- I,” Peter stammers, he had planned at least a hundred different things he wanted to say to Tony, but this was the only reaction he hadn’t prepared for. 

“If you hurt her,” Tony threatens. “The suit won’t be the only thing you lose this time around.” Peter visibly gulps at your father's words. 

“Dad! Stop it!” you whine. “You’ll scare him away! It’s not like the silly little crush I had on Steve, I mean have you seen his ass? Anyway, please don’t scare him away, I love him.”

“You love him?” your dad’s frowning, but there’s a glimmer of happiness in his eyes. 

“You love me?” Peter’s jaw practically unhinges as it drops open in shock, his eyes practically popping out of his eye sockets. 

“How couldn’t I?” you smile at your boyfriend. “You’re incredibly smart, brave to the point of stupidity, funnier than you’d think, and you’re the most considerate and caring person I’ve ever met. I’d be a total idiot not to love you.”

“(Y/N),” he whispers, hand reaching to caress your cheek. “I love you too. You’ve never looked at me differently when I can’t take you to fancy restaurants and we make a mess of the kitchen trying to make Lasagna. You always defend me when flash calls me penis parker. You take Ned third wheeling in stride- making sure to always involve him in whatever we’re doing. And you’re the most compassionate person I know, always making sure we aren’t hurt when we come back from a mission, homemade chocolate chip cookies waiting to lift our spirits. I’d be crazy not to love you.”

“NO!” Tony practically screams when you lean in to kiss Peter’s soft supple lips. “Not in front of me! I don’t want to see that!”

“Oh please, I’ve seen you do it with countless women,” you roll your eyes, grabbing Peter by the back of the neck and crashing your lips into his. Tony let’s out an overdramatic screech at the sight, slapping a hand over his eyes and struggling to walk out of the room.  

Permanent tags: @crimson-knuckled-queen​ @rexorangecouny​

[sunflowerheartsandstarryskies]

My Golden Curse - Maxwell Lord x Fem!Reader

Author’s Note: Hello again, I may have stumbled upon the Pedro Pascal fandom and I can’t get out, and I saw someone posted that they wanted an imagine with Maxwell Lord and the reader in which one of them gets kidnapped and the other just goes ballistic, and I basically kept getting that idea stuck in my head, this was only supposed to be a drabble but oh well. This depiction of Maxwell Lord is closer to the DC Comics version of him and not the movie but it has Pascal’s Lord’s likeness, so it’s like a combination of the two.

Also, I have survived my finals and had taken a break from writing for a while but I’m back and I have some ideas for my Lucifer multi-chapter fic as well. I also have an idea for a John Wick fic but I have no idea if anyone wants to read that.

Warnings: Typical comic-book violence, cursing (like two curse words), blood mentioned, kidnapping, bruises and injuries (like ribs breaking, a concussion, and a few lacerations

______________________________________________________________

Maxwell Lord IV prided himself on presentation. Everything had to be pristine and everything, even the garbage can by his desk had to be impeccable, because his business and himself in general, are put out on display for the public. He is a figurehead and a showman, so when you came along to be his assistant and secretary he was at first apprehensive because you didn’t dress as provocatively as he may have like and you didn’t look as model-esque as his other secretaries in the past. You didn’t apply to Chimtech to be fucked by your boss, you were good at your job and you aspire to show off your skills.

However, time went on when you first started to work for Maxwell Lord and you did a phenomenal job, whenever he was in a meeting you would always make sure to listen and take notes of what he needed while he was in the meeting. Whenever he requested for you to fax an item you would’ve made sure to have done it five minutes prior. Maxwell had no idea how you could be so efficient at your job, but he damn well appreciates it even if he rarely ever mentions it to you.

It’s an odd relationship that you guys have worked yourself in, a friendly relationship it seems, but both of you are teetering on the edge of wanting more. There have been teasing nicknames, mostly from you, you had a plethora of nicknames that you would give him, ranging from “Sandy” to “Ken”, but “Golden boy” was your favorite.

You would never admit this to him or even to yourself but you actually liked his blonde locks. In certain lightings, when you look at him you swear he was Midas, covered in his own golden curse. It was breathtaking to watch him at some points, but you always try to cover up your flustered state.

You knew Maxwell well, some may say too well for a secretary, but you rarely saw the side of him that most of his competitors and fellow businessmen saw, and that was the merciless and ruthless side to his tactics on getting what he wanted. Everyone in the public eye saw him as just the “King of Infomercials” but there was a reason why and how he got that title in the first place. Who knew the infomercial world could be so cruel and hectic?

You were able to catch glimpses of Maxwell’s amazing abilities of persuasion and showmanship, he was able to get people to admit to what they want and get them to go out and seize, whether that was good or bad. There was a particular talent that you find out he has and it was his ability to drag out people’s hidden desires, there were times when the people he used this talent were a shock as the people around them when they admitted to what they really wanted.

He was a golden idol of his own creation; he had to be especially to the people around him. However, that golden facade can only keep him held up for so long when the people he handed gold to realize that it’s fool’s gold.

______________________________________________________________

It was earlier in the day, you just woke up and got dressed in your office attire with a cup of coffee in hand as you try to will yourself to get going. You looked up at your apartment’s clock and it was 7:00 am, you needed to get going if you were to make it to Chimtech in time.

As you stepped out of your apartment building you felt a gloved hand over your mouth and panic flooding your whole body, but before your body could even fully process a flight or fight response you felt a sharp pain in your neck and you passed out.

When you come to, your vision is blurred and you can’t understand where you are and your brain just has confusion filling your senses. Why can’t you process what is around you? What happened to you? After a couple of more seconds went by you felt a rope tightly woven around your wrists, and you comprehended that you were sitting on a floor. What happened to you?

“Ah, there’s the little doll’s eyes! I was wondering if you were beginning to ever wake up,” a voice filled your ears. You blinked furiously trying to get your eyes to focus and you found yourself face to face with a man, who was grinning at you like a shark finding the prey they smelled a mile away.

“I’m sure you understand why you’re here? I don’t need to monologue it to you, do I?” the man asks.

“Mr. Vince, right? You were in a meeting with my boss Maxwell Lord, a month ago, right?” you questioned him as the drug and weariness started to seep out of you, and you gained more awareness of your surroundings. The man, Mr. Vince was a part-owner of a tech company that Chimtech was interested in making an investment in, however from what you were aware of was that the true goal of the meetings with Vince and his company was to absorb it into Chimtech, forcing Vince and the other owners to give up their powers over to Maxwell Lord and the other board members of Chimtech.

“I see the drugs didn’t impair your memory, I assume you are aware that I am no longer a CEO? That I was tricked by your goddamned boss?! That he put me in a corner to give up my company over to him!” he screamed. He was half an inch from your face and you were terrified of this man, he was unhinged.

“What does this have to do with me, Mr.Vince?” you asked, forcing yourself to not push him over the edge.

“Ooooh this has everything to do with your boss, I remembered that you are his secretary, so you must know some secret of his, something I can leverage against him to make him give me my company back,” he said.

“Even if I have any sort of information to give you, the damage is already done, your company is done in, it’s already been processed into Chimtech, there is none of your company left.”

That was the wrong thing to say as you felt a kick to your stomach. You groaned and rolled onto your side, and before you could recover from that there was another swift kick that you felt go directly to your ribs.

______________________________________________________________

Minutes blended into hours of constant yelling from Vince to him pulling you off the ground to throwing you back down like you were a piece of litter to being his personal punching bag. It was all you could do to just protect yourself and persevere through the pain because you were just a secretary, you were never trained in self-defense, hell you never even did track in high school.

Through the pain, you felt complete distortion and a high pitch whining going through your head, and you finally realized it was a telephone- a landline. Where the hell did this guy get a landline in this beat-up place?

Then, you hear Vince say, “Oh you want to hear how (Y/N) is?” you hear footsteps coming towards you then cold plastic was pressed to your cheek then Vince continued loudly, “Well here she is, talk.”

“(Y/N)?” You heard Maxwell, your golden boy, say your name and all you can do was say his name back in a raspy voice.

“What did he do to you?” Maxwell asked.

Before you could say any more the phone was taken away from you and Vince’s voice filled your ears.

“Tick tock Maxwell, I want my money and you can get your fuck toy back.”

Then silence, a sickening silence filled the room which made you feel every ache and pain that has been put on your body has made itself known by increasing levels of agony. You didn’t even feel it in you to even try to correct Vince’s words about you. You just wanted to sleep and not wake up for a whole day, maybe if you laid perfectly still and just not move a muscle the pain would go away.

As you lay there you tearily open your eyes back up and you can hear the tinny sounds of the echoing footsteps of your captor pacing back and forth in the room you were held in. It was nauseating, and you were confused as you thought, When did you close your eyes? How long were you out?

Then you fell back into your head, and you felt like you were spiraling in your own mind mixed with dizziness and nausea. You just wanted this to end.

A male voice was shouting so close to you and you can feel the panic coming out of his voice, and you can tell it wasn’t Vince because why would he do that?

You felt yourself being lifted from the ground and all you could do was cough sporadically from the new movements on your injuries. It hurt, it hurt so bad.

“I know (Y/N), but you just need to keep going a little bit longer,” the same voice told you.

You couldn’t quite pinpoint where you heard that voice before but you thought it was your boss, Maxwell Lord, but it couldn’t be. That would be the last thought that went through your mind before you lost it to the void.

All you can see at first was just bright and it hurt so bad. When you turned your head you saw a flash of gold and your first thought was, ‘Maxwell’. When your eyes adjusted to the room around you it really was your boss, Maxwell Lord in the hospital with you. He was slumped down in a chair beside your bed and you saw there were roses in a vase on the table next to you.

“Gold-golden boy, hey,” you rasped out trying to wake him. You coughed and then groaned as you felt the lacerations and bandages around your torso.

You saw him stir in the chair and his eyes opened and landed on yours. “Hey boss,” you whispered cringing at your voice. Your hands clenched at the sheets around you as you saw him blink furiously and stood up fast. You flinched at the fast movement but he didn’t seem to notice, as he moved closer to you.

“I am sorry about what happened to you, I didn’t think that our clients would go so far as to do this to you. I can’t believe that bastard did all of this to you-”

“It’s okay, I mean it hurts like a bitch but you ended up finding me didn’t you? What happened to him anyway?” you cut him off.

“Ah well, I may have gotten violent with him before the law enforcement could get him,” he said twisting his hands around and that’s when you saw the scrapes on his knuckles.

“I don’t know if you were a white knight to me but you certainly are a golden devil for doing that,” you replied.

He huffed out a laugh at your reply and he opened his mouth to say something but got interrupted when a nurse arrived.

______________________________________________________________

After the nurse left, you found out you still have a concussion lingering still, three bruised ribs and lacerations across your whole torso and arms.

When he listened to the whole list of injuries that you had gotten in the three days that you were with Mr. Vince, he felt rage boil over him but he tried to keep calm as he remembered the battered state he left Vince in. At least he made him feel some of the pain that he made you go through, Maxwell was a very prideful man in how he acts so for him to act like that was completely out of character for him.

He must be looking worried because he noticed your furrowed brows and you glancing at him every so often.

“Did you want to say something?” he asked

“Well, I was gonna ask you a similar question because I think you were interrupted by the nurse. Also are you okay?”

Your question startled him and the mention of the interruption made him clear his throat and fidget with his suit to try to hide the blush that was threatening to come up to his face. Your inquisitive expression on your face was watching him.

“I’ve been thinking that if you would like to leave the company, I won’t force you to stay, especially with what happened this week,” he said.

Listening to him say this made you panic and as you tried to sit up, Maxwell came up to you quickly as he says, “What do you think you’re doing? You got to take it easy.”

As you are situated in your bed you went to reach for Maxwell’s hand as you say, “Why would I want to quit? I love my job and I love working with you even if at times I don’t seem like it. None of what happened to me was your fault, how could you have known that Vince would react to the merger the way that he did.”

Maxwell was startled by this, he never had anyone in his family nor his company is so willing to stay with him especially when they are given an out.

He bowed his head toward you and said, “If you keep saying things like that I might want to keep you by my side for a long time.”

You laughed as you replied, “If you let me I will, you are a weird but kind man-” you stopped yourself as a thought came to your head.

“How long have you been here? What about Chimtech?”

“Ah well if my secretary didn’t get kidnapped and injured I wouldn’t be here right now, but you made me worried and how can I do my best work without my best assistant around me?”

“Now you’re just flattering me”

“But it’s true”

“Hmmm if you say so, Sandy”

______________________________________________________________

Four days have gone by and you were finally released from the hospital to go back to your apartment. You tried to go back to work at Chimtech, but Maxwell found you were released and gave you the rest of the week off to recover. You would become the envy of the company at this rate with how well the boss has been treating you.

Now that you have been just lounging in your apartment watching TV movies, and eating takeout for meals it has given you time to properly understand what happened to you for the past two weeks.

The way your boss, Maxwell, has been treating you made you see a whole new side of him. At first, you thought of working for him as both a blessing and a curse. At first, it was hell on earth, you ran yourself ragged making sure everything was up to par with Maxwell’s standards but after the next three years working with the man you considered him a friend of sorts. Even though you always tried to make sure to never consider employers and colleagues be separate from your personal life but it’s hard to do that when all you have is your work life.

Ever since the kidnapping incident, Maxwell had visited you every day in the hospital he even gave you flowers on the last day of your hospital visit, it was a beautiful vase of sunflowers.

You didn’t realize how long you were sitting on your couch thinking about your boss when you heard a knock on your door. You looked at the clock near your tv and realized it was nearly midnight.

‘Who could come by to my apartment at this hour?’ you thought.

You got up carefully minding the bruises still littering your body, and you opened the door surprised to see Maxwell.

His hair was a bit disheveled and he didn’t have a suit jacket on showing off the suspenders he likes to wear. He looked quite cute seeing him like this.

“Come in, Mr. Lord. What brings you to my place this late at night?” you inquired.

He ran his hand through his hair as he entered your apartment and he turns to look at you as you closed the door.

He sighed as he said, “I don’t know how quite to put this without sounding terrible, but after what happened to you, I can’t stop thinking about you. You are the best woman-the best person I’ve known and for you to still want to work with me after everything that has happened.”

He looked like he was getting frustrated with himself, you were shocked because how could you have gotten the king of infomercials to be so frustrated with his own words?

You took a tentative step forward to him as you placed a hand on his arm.

“Sandy, what’s going on?”

He was silent for a moment before he looked into your eyes with a strong determination as he says, “You know more about me than my own mother does, and after all this time together I’ve grown to respect you more and more. When I saw you in that hospital I wanted to kill the bastard and send him to hell when I found you like that in the warehouse.”

“I-I don’t know what to say, Mr. Lord-”

“Call me Maxwell, none of your silly names, not boss, not my last name, just Maxwell”

You could tell he was earnest with this and sincere it took your breath away to see him like this. He was beautiful and it made your heart flutter when you realize what he might be trying to confess to you.

“Maxwell” you breathed out testing his name out. You said his name once before and that was when you had gotten kidnapped but now this is completely different, almost like a prayer. A prayer to this golden devil of yours.

He smiled when he heard you say his name and he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“I wish I could kiss all the scars away from your body so you never have to live with them again. I wish that I could be yours, fully and I want to be clear that I would never use you like I may have done to my secretaries in the past. I want to be yours, in any way you may want me.”

“Oh Maxwell, I think I might have to grant your wish this time,” you say blinking away tears that were threatening to spill as you were listening to his confession.

“(Y/N)” he whispered reverently.

He cradled your face with both hands as he studied your face to see any resistance than he gently placed his lips on yours.

You made a small gasp as you finally felt his lips on yours, you clutched onto his shirt as you pulled him closer to you. He tilted his head and pushed your chin up to meet in for a deeper kiss. It felt amazing and you felt loved.

When you parted you were chasing each other’s lips to crash back into each other as you kissed each other until you both need a break. Both of your lips were swollen and you looked at him with such love that when Maxwell saw, he almost wanted to take you then and there but he was mindful of how fragile this love could be.

Author’s Note: I might do a second part if people want it but whew this took a lot out of me, I hope you guys like it!

[typewriterghcst]

Title: mother, forget me

Fandom: Kung Fu Panda

Characters: Shen, Soothsayer

Summary: He’s lived his life in a burning house, and now he is wasting away inside it. Why should he be at all surprised that she would fight the flames to traverse back into it in order to rescue him? At this rate, though, perhaps they’re simply burning to ash together.

Notes: whispers kind of an affectionate maybe Send Off written for @infini-tree regarding our Shen and Soothsayer muses, since we’ve both sorta halfway-ish moved into different fandoms and don’t write together very often anymore `~`

So of course this is based on the main verse on my Shen blog, where he Somehow survives the end of his canon and starts hiding out at the Soothsayer’s home like a particularly deviant NEET

I’ve long enjoyed our interactions, and even if we don’t write together again, I’ll still think back fondly on those interactions, ha. So. Just sort of a gift, then!

                                                        +++

Shen forgets he is no longer a skittish, sullen teenager sometimes, though he isn’t certain how. There’s an aching stiffness in his bones that has followed him into his miraculous second chance survival which had never assailed him back then. He lives now in a dream world where time stands still at inopportune and awkward moments, only to pass in an instant when he blinks. He doesn’t know how long he’s lingered here. He can not force himself to think of the future; it’s like futilely plucking at a minuscule piece of shell in the egg white.

Yet unlike those dream worlds he remembers from his childhood, he is not alone this time. No, he has become someone’s burden again, and he might relish in that newfound purpose were it not for who it is that has undertaken the burden.

The Soothsayer joins him at the window, once, and leaves a thin jacket of her own thrown across his shoulders, and it’s then he realizes he isn’t sure who has imprisoned who. 

It’s then, also, he thinks he should leave.

                                                        +++

Quite often he will find himself reluctant to ask those questions he so dearly covets answers for, simply out of a fear that those same answers shall prove ultimately devastating. Tonight, his courage refuses to falter.

"Did you know?" Shen asks his old caretaker (a position she's rather wordlessly slipped back into, though he will not dwell on the similarities now). "Did you know I'd do it?"

"I knew you had the potential to travel down a very dark path," she eventually answers with a measured cadence, and Shen fills in the blanks that she hadn't foreseen just how much darkness that path had had the capacity for.

                                                        +++

He had tried to promise himself once, in a fleeting, blinding instant of childish fury, the source of which has been long obscured by time. 

He had tried to promise himself that anyone who tried to harm her would meet with an agonizing fate, and he had taken a certain amount of comfort and pleasure in imagining just how he might make good on that promise.

He thinks of it nowadays sometimes when she leaves early in the morning, when he pretends to sleep so she doesn’t know he knows he wasn’t the only one unable to sleep through the night. 

(They are both such prideful creatures.)

He thinks about how he is in a far more convenient position to keep his word now, how he would not hesitate, and he wonders if that is perhaps the closest he will ever come to real love.

                                                        +++

What will he do, he wonders sometimes against his will, when she is gone? He has but one friend left in the wide, blue world, and being a creature quite comfortably accustomed to a literal army of supporters kept in line with fear, the instability inherent in this new status quo is perhaps more distressing than even he realizes.

Shen spies the Soothsayer drifting off at her table as she works once or twice, and it lights in him a difficult to define, frenzied knot of half-emotions. He makes mention of her fatigue once. Her response, he assumes, is to put more effort into keeping up her composure in his presence, as he doesn’t catch her dozing again.

It isn't fair, it isn't fair, and sometimes he's so frustrated by what he’s managed to do how things have ended up that he can't stand it. It's then, again, that he thinks he should leave.

                                                        +++

He doesn't know her story. Somehow in all their years together, interrupted as they've been, she has never been compelled to share it with him. It's fine that way. It's the way it ought to be, he supposes.

Yet, every now and again, he will glimpse some shared similarity, some shared response to a petty trauma, and for the first time find himself musing on what other familiarities might linger in their pasts. 

                                                        +++

Even now, the memory will so often come back to him, unwanted, unprompted. Pulling himself up over a balustrade in a clumsy attempt to see over it, to catch a faraway glimpse of Mother, needling curiosity and awe always tempered so expertly by the lingering haze of unbelonging.

For so long he has recalled this moment as one of solitude and numb resentment, but like a buoyant balloon eventually resurfacing after being shoved under bathwater, he remembers the Soothsayer calling to him from down the hall, and how he'd so eagerly abandoned his hiding spot to bound to her side. She had smiled at him, had asked what it was which had captured his attention so thoroughly.

And something rises in him, then, a sharp stab of remorse so powerful it aches in a way he’d never thought possible.

If only. If only.

                                                        +++

Too often she approaches his occasional fleeting tantrums with nothing more than mutely exasperated resignation, her hooves folded neatly on the top of her cane as she surveys the petty devastation he's left behind— an upended side table, scattered incense and old, singed bowls now lying in disarray.

"Was it unworthy of me?" She eventually asks flatly, and Shen barks out a harsh laugh despite himself.

“Yes,” he says, with an unhinged lightness he hasn’t felt in decades. “It should be better. It should be ornately and ostentatiously decorated and well-constructed enough to last literal dynasties. Then it’d be a worthy addition to your meager collection of furniture.”

There she smiles at him, familiarly, a half-crooked one that speaks to decade’s worth of dealing with his childish temper. He’d seen it, too, all that time ago, in the feverish and sleep-deprived days of his biggest scheme, but at the time it’d only infuriated him, made him feel intrinsically small. Here, now, the sight of it elicits a wash of comfort to come over him, and tears prick at the corners of his eyes.

He laughs, but the sound is thick with emotion, and he flees shortly after.

                                                        +++

"I should leave."

He speaks it into existence with all the strength of a flickering candle, hoping it might pass by unnoticed, perhaps. Yet like a candle in a darkened room, this hushed murmur's reach in the silence of the midnight stillness betrays him.

The clatter of the Soothsayer’s pestle somewhere across the expanse between them tells him she’s heard him. When she speaks, it’s soft but reluctant.

“...Where will you go?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t have to leave.”

“But I should.”

She doesn’t respond to that, but he can feel that she wants to. He can imagine her when he closes his eyes, searching desperately for something to make this all alright. To make it work for the best. Something that makes it not so hopeless. But she’s smart, he knows. She’ll come to the same conclusion. If she hasn’t already.

Somewhere, there comes that same memory of running to her side, taking her outstretched hoof in his wing, already starting in on some inane factoid he’d picked up in his studies that day, eager to share with her his discoveries.

"I-I'm sorry."

It slips away from him without his approval, before he has a chance to stifle and drown it with any kind of success, and it comes out as a broken whisper. His vision as he stares out the window has started swimming. Some part of him wishes it was because he has begun breathing his last breaths.

Even now, he remains selfish and weak— were he truly so sorry, he thinks, he would have simply disappeared from her life in the night, with only a letter to explain his thoughts; he would have vanished just as unceremoniously as he had arrived, and left her in peace.

But he had done that once, he remembers abruptly.

I thought you died. It comes back to him in pieces.

And now he knows what he is apologizing for. There’s no one left to blame it all on. There is only him. And now for the first time does he feel so thoroughly where he has ruined himself with his own hands only to have pointed the bloodied finger outward to everyone else.

This is a mistake which can not be mended, and he’s known it all along.

Somewhere in the midst of it all he’s aware of a ginger touch to his wing. It’s the Soothsayer, looking up at him with an expression he finds quite difficult to interpret— the furrowed brow of regret, of heartache, but the quirk of hesitant hopefulness. When she speaks, her voice is just as frustratingly troublesome for him to comprehend, soft and sad and vastly unfitting for the words she has decided upon.

“...I’ve wanted to hear you say that for a long time.”

“It’s not enough—” Shen starts, and he can already hear the beginnings of his old hysteria rising in his protest, can feel his age-old pessimism awakening, but the gentle shake of her head in apparent, paradoxical agreement prompts him to hold his tongue.

“No. It’s not.” Then, more firmly, with a tenacity he finds quite startling in its unexpected familiarity, “But it’s a beginning we can work with.”

[some-cookie-crumbz]

Hello 👋🏼, sorry if I’m bothering u but ever since the recent chapters of BNHA I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the Todoroki family. Not many of my friends are into this anime and I just couldn’t stop myself from sharing this with you because I need to let this out.

[SPOILER ALERT 🚨!!! IF U DONT READ THE MANGA THEN U CAN JUST IGNORE THIS]

First of all:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!

(I’m still screaming as I write because the backstories RUINED me.)

Poor Touya having this horrible obsession over heroics and having his father acknowledge him but ever since his quirk started reacting against his body the whole family got negatively affected by it.

Rei and Enji wanted to stop at two kids but with Touya’s sudden disadvantage and the latter’s craving for power, Natsuo and later on Shouto was born (the youngest getting titled as the perfect heir from the moment he was born). I got torn seeing Touya’s eyes succumb to absolute madness at the birth of his younger brothers.

What scared me the most was how when it was just Touya and Fuyumi, the two hardly interacted despite being only a year apart in age. Touya claimed that ‘girls just don’t get it’ this small foreshadowing was later brought to light in the most recent chapter where he once again rejects Fuyumi’s company in favour of ranting to only Natsuo and where he disregards his own mother— another ‘girl’ that doesn’t understand his obsession passion for surpassing All Might and someone who plays along to the acts of those stronger than them. Touya saw his mother as a weak person who had no choice but to marry for the sake of her family and have custom children. Little Touya firmly believed his very existence depended on getting acknowledged my his father and defeating All Might but it sadly didn’t come true😭😭

Also..... LOOK AT THE BABIES!!!! They’re all so CUTE!!!

Chubby Fuyumi!!!

Natsuo with a running nose

And Baby Shouto with a meme like face since the day he was born🤣🤣🤣🤣

So ADORABLE!

And another thing. FUYUMI WAS EVEN YOUNGER THAN I THOUGHT TO HAVE STARTED ACTING LIKE A SECOND MOTHER TO HER BROTHERS!! Look at the way she defended Natsuo when Touya went on a rampage and tried to attack Touya! And during moments when Enji and Rei fought the two most notable heroes were Shouto and Fuyumi; the former fighting on the frontlines to face his father while the latter stood behind to once again care for her remaining family that though weren’t involved in the fight, they still needed emotional support to get through it.😭

I AM SO SORRY TO BE GETTING TO THIS SO LATE ANON BUT I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY!!!

TW: Spoilers, Brief Mention of Child Abuse (Physical, Emotional and Mental), General Fandom Wank

So, like, SO MUCH HAPPENED in those chapters and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE ALMOST ALL OF IT! There’s obviously all the things you mentioned above that were just amazing to see and learn! I know that a majority of the fandom has been absolutely livid about the reveals involving Touya being drastically different than what fandom thought they were all this time, but I think it honestly highlights how smart Horikoshi’s writing really is.

In Shoto, we see the effects of physical and mental abuse on a child, and how easily he could have ended up going down a troubling road much like Touya. Shoto’s saving grace is facing off against Deku in the Sports Festival, giving him an outside perspective and makes him realize that he can choose to be better, but that doesn’t just magically fix all of Shoto’s problems. Shoto still struggles with his feelings towards his Father and how he is perceived by simply being Endeavor’s son. We see that in the Provisional License Arc, where Shoto is so thoroughly rattled by Inasa. It’s even further pushed through how Shoto struggles with his feelings about Endeavor trying to better and whether or not he should forgive him. I feel like Shoto’s arc is incredibly strong and that his struggles are very realistic, which is why people love him so much. This whole concept is another thing I could rant about but I’m going to leave it here.

Meanwhile, with Touya, we see the effects of mental and emotional abuse on a child and how it can completely destroy them. I think people that act like Horokoshi “down played” and “ret-conned” Endeavor as a character to make him more sympathetic/ redeemable or that he’s simply writing Touya as “always being a bad seed” are missing the mark. This is, admittedly, something you see a lot when it comes to victims of abuse in the real world as well; the idea that if you weren’t physically or sexually abused on top of emotional or mental abuse, your abuse is somehow less “valid.” Now I’ve seen more voices speaking out against this mentality - which is relieving and positive - but it’s still a problem. The way Touya was abused is no less valid or scarring to himself as a person as what Shoto has been through was. Touya and Enji clearly had a deep bond as father and son. Hell, the fact that Enji is sobbing and saying he “can’t fight his own son” in regards to Touya, but clearly had less issue training Shoto until he got ill or passed out says a lot.

Touya was put on an incredibly high pedestal by Enji’s constant praise and attention. He was the apple of his father’s eye until the limitations of his Quirk were discovered. Enji had filled his head with promises and goals for what his future would be, essentially selling him what turned out to be a lie. We see Rei herself tell Enji that Touya “knows you expect something out of the kids.” Touya’s whole life up until that point was being told of all the great he would someday accomplish, and equating that to being deserving of his Father’s love, attention and affection.

And then he couldn’t live up to that expectation. And then his parents had two more kids following that revelation. The idea that Touya doesn’t realize that Natsuo and Shoto were meant to be his replacements - unbroken models that “deserved” Enji’s love - is clearly not missed by him. It’s evident in the way he looks at Natsuo after he’s born. He sees this as a sign that he is no longer deserving - no longer worthy - of love or support from the parent he absolutely adores.

We see this mostly from Enji and Rei’s perspectives, so we know the reasons they did it, but it’s clear they didn’t stop to think about the way this would be interpreted by Touya himself. This whole matter is only worsened by the fact that Enji refuses to make sacrifices for the sake of his oldest son. He pushes Touya to live a life outside of Pro Heroics while Enji himself refuses to do the same, thus setting a positive example and showing solidarity with his son. He instead pushes him away and distances himself, loses himself in focusing on Natuso and, once his Quirk turns out to not be what he wants, Shoto. Touya continues to push himself despite his limits in a desperate bid for Enji to look at him the way he used to; with pride and love. 

What caused the fire that “killed” Touya? His anguish over being neglected and abandoned - left unloved - by his father yet again. It’s clear that Touya’s mental health is in need of some real focus that he has never gotten - due to both his parents negligence as well as the fact that mental health is highly stigmatized in Japanese society - and pairing that with the emotional and mental abuse he suffered at Enji’s hands broke him.

So many people are claiming Horikoshi is trying to make Enji “more redeemable”, but how do you get that? Enji abused Rei, his own wife, physically and emotionally and mentally until she had a psychotic breakdown, hurt their youngest child, and then robbed her the right to mother her children further by having her locked up in a psych ward for the next decade or so; built their oldest son, Touya, up only to then emotionally and mentally abuse him to the point he damn near killed himself in a frantic bid to garner Enji’s support only to return years later completely unhinged and looking to murder his entire family out of spite; neglected Fuyumi and Natsuo to the care of each other and hired help; alienated Shoto, his youngest son, from his siblings for his entire formative years, physically and mentally and emotionally abused him, groomed him to accomplish a task he never wanted, put him through such extensive physical training that Shoto would get sick or pass out.

Enji was a shitty father. He has a long ass road to continue walking if he ever wants redemption. The fact he didn't physically hit Touya doesn’t mean that Enji didn’t abuse his son and it doesn’t make Touya any less of a victim.

* End TodoFam Rant*

On a slightly lighter note, I also like all the information with Hawks’ past and all the parallels we’re seeing develop!

I’ve rambled briefly about this in other places the Huwumi discord but I want to expound upon this a bit more here.

I feel like Touya/ Dabi and Keigo/ Hawks are meant to be parallels to one another.

Back to back, we had proper name claims by these two characters. We had Dabi reveal his true identity as Todoroki Touya and then we have Hawks choosing to abandon his hero name to instead step up to fight as Takami Keigo.

I feel like “Dabi” was always a mask, of sorts. Dabi is typically pretty calm, cool, composed with the occasional bites of snark and cruelty. Meanwhile, we see Touya emoting and moving in a manner more akin to himself as a child, dancing about in manic delight over revealing his true identity and intentions. The pair of them are two drastically different people when you stop and look at it. “Dabi” was the mask he wore to gain ground to enact his revenge, and now that he is there? Now Touya can burn everything tethered to it down to ground.

Meanwhile, we have "Hawks” as he was forced to become as per the Hero Public Safety Commission. We had it revealed quite a while back that Hawks was a man of many faces, jumping from laid-back and chill to serious and focused quite frequently. “Hawks” is the presentation for the public and the Commission, groomed to be the perfect little canary in the mine that was Pro Heroics. The reveal of his true heritage, however, is not the killing blow Touya wanted it to be. Instead, it allows Keigo, the one who wanted to be a Hero to help people, the chance to truly dedicate himself to that. In being freed from the cage of “Hawks”, he is given the change to really soar as Keigo.

Now, I feel that “Dabi” and “Hawks” are most certainly parts of Touya and Keigo as well, respectively. Even though those titles were masks, they were masks made from parts of the men who wear them. I think what we’ll see going forward is the true elements of those masks bleeding back into the whole, and seeing the truest forms of each character.

For better or for worse. 

[hermitcraftheadcanons]

Zombie Apocalypse AU Masterpost 2 Electric Boogaloo

Previous Post: https://hermitcraftheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/618314308275863552/zombie-apocalypse-au-masterpost

-Bdubs is slowly going feral because he has the virus, it just doesn't show itself physically.

-Cub was tempted to purposefully get the virus to try and help find a cure, (they probably don't have lab rats given the circumstances,) by Scar talked him out of it.

-The timeline of events with DocM is that he started in the NHO group, they ended up dispersing (Etho turned and then left to ensure the safety of his friends, Beef ended up going separate due to Doc and Bdubs' constant fighting and Bdubs stormed off after an argument.) He ends up getting taken in by TFC, (he's the first to arrive,) and eventually captures Rendog.

-Stressmonster and Iskall originally lived in a cabin in the mountains. After Iskall got swept away in a snow storm and Joe and Cleo stopped by, Stress had no idea there was a Zombie outbreak.

-Hypnotizd and XB ended up trespassing in Jevin's property and Jevin shot Hypno. XB pleaded to Jevin that they weren't zombies and to not hurt them further and Jevin begrudgingly went, 'okay, fine. You aren't taking my food though.'

-Impulse's weapon of choice was a shovel.

-Grian can't fly in this AU. Let's be real, if he could, it would be pretty OP.

-Keralis most definetly gave a larger share of his rations to Xisuma while he was sick.

-TangoTek entirely blames himself for Impulse leaving and Zedaph getting bit. He feels especially conflicted because he wants to leave because he's convinced they both hate him and blame him but he can't because 'what if they go looking for him?' 'What if someone worse comes from that?'

-The location of Etho's bite is right on the front of the neck. He actually passed out from blood loss initially and he very nearly died. (Luckily for him the zombie didn't pull away, ripping out anything important (like a windpipe of an oesophagus,) giving Doc time to carefully unhinge the zombie's jaw and save Etho.) Nobody was quite sure how Etho was even alive with a big chunk out of his neck until he started displaying some strange behaviour.

-False is usually the one who stays up late to stand guard and protect her group.

-Mumbo accidentally caught Hypno in one of his traps at one point but let him go.

-Hay here’s a dumb idea, The reason ren is immune to the zombie virus is because he has like an anti-zombie virus in his body it behaves just like a normal zombie virus but it doesn’t turn you into a zombie, so how the hermits turn the zombie hermits human again is by making ren bite them.

-I have an angst ending and a no-angst ending so first here's the not-angst one: Doc and Ren team up with Cub and Scar to make a cure (so Ren doesn't have to bite everyone personally). They travel around finding every bitten survivor and salvageable zombie they can, using the weapons and resources from the NHO for protection. They find ways of producing and distributing enough cure for everyone, and during that process all of the Hermits decide to stay friends and in touch afterward.

-For the Zombie AU, if Scar doesn't already have like a different role in this au, he could've possibly been the first human infected because *someone's* pet cat ate a weird looking mouse and bit their owner.

-This is very angsty and gory, so fair warning: How fast does the virus spread through the body from the bite? If slow, you can cut the bitten part off before it spreads out through the body. To doc having a robot arm, what if he got bit and out of fear, they amputated his arm to stop the spread. I know y'all probably don't wanna go with body horror, but that's something to consider in this AU.

-Lowkey I feel zombie Etho doesnt do justice to his epic PVP skillz, but!! I do see Etho to be something SIMILAR to it! Idk if you've ever played Telltale's The Walking Dead game, but Etho could a zombie whisperer, a human who wears zombie skin and lives amongst the zombies for protection. So when Etho got bit, they THOUGHt he turned but actually just decided, hey I live here now and just vibin.

-You know how ren being a werewolf is popular in the fandom(from what I've seen) maybe that's why is immune to being a zombie and getting bitten by him if your infected cures it because the zombie infection and werewolf infection cancel eachother out.

-A more jokey Zombie!Au thing: The first episode of Llamas with hats but it's Zombie!Etho and Beef.

-I feel like if Wels could get to some of his friends he would try his hardest to protect them and if he ever managed to get bit it would be to save someone else.

-There is just always so much angst potential in any scenario or AU where it involves the possibility of Wels sacrificing himself in some way to protect his friends from something poor bb 😔

-Would infected hermits be able to like recognize people after the infection zombified them or whatever it is? Because if so oh my god imagine the angst.

(All those above in red are from our community's lovely anons!)

-About the anti-zombie Ren bite thing: Doc has the idea suddenly in the middle of an argument so the conversation goes a little like this:

Ren: "So what I'm trying to say, my dude, is that would never work because -"

Doc: "Ren. Bite me."

Ren: "Oh yeah, real mature way to end a disagreement there -"

Doc: *facepalming* "No, Ren, I mean actually.... Just do it, I'll explain later."

-Angst ending: They could never produce enough cure to stem the tide of undeath. They all choose to band together and take shelter underground, hoping to wait it out. They use X's tunnel, but that many people that close together smells irresistible to a horde. The zombies flood after them into the tunnel. X says he'll buy them some time, even though he is terrified. He collapses the tunnel on himself and the zombies so the others can escape. His last thought: At least I get to die as myself.

-Thinking about Etho's bite location (you said it was on his neck): Most bites are on the shoulder or leg (bit from behind while running away) or on the arm (bit while raised to defend). To be bitten on the neck he would have to have his arms and shoulders lowered. Etho, being a good fighter, would have only done this if it was absolutely necessary. Conclusion: he was bitten with his arms stretched out to protect someone behind him, and he knew the consequence that his choice would have.

-(@shadeswiftdraws.)

-The NHO are all strangely dressed (Etho is kakashi, Doc is green, Bdubs has a bandana,) because they were all at a cosplay convention. (-@tomcatacaphe.)

-When Etho left The nHo, he brings a Journal with him. Every Night he'll write a Journal entry. He'll write just about anything, there even some random lyrics and some pretty flowers he pick up along his travels. But as the Journal goes on, the words slowly became wobbly. Inconsistent. until finally, Unreadable chicken skrach. His final (at least readable) entry is: "-I hoPE yoU GUyZ ArE DoInG bETThEr ThAn I Am" As some point in time, Etho lost his Journal and Joe hills found it.

-Speaking of Joe Hill, he made it his personal mission to collect every literature and entertament media he can possibly carry on him. From Dnd Book, poetry, Documentary DVD's, to random journal He think would be usefull. Stress is happy to help Joe but Cleo is a little annoyed because it's will only slow them down, but Joe Argued that "If there's no knowledge left, then what will the future be? Just staying alive and surviving?" Cleo begrudgingly agrees.

-I can totally see Joe and Cleo Rocking an actual Sword and Dnd Cosplay (Joe got is a gift while Cleo Commissions her's after seeing Joe whip out his sword one time in a one shot DnD session) they keep the swords, but they ditch the Costume pretty early on tho.

-Mumbo's next Job Interview would be schedule at Concorp. But then the Zombie apocalypse happened on his way there.

(-@tearosepedall.)

-I don’t want this au to end but here’s my take: most of them get to the bunker where they don’t develop a cure, but do create a vaccine. Occasionally they will venture out to hand out the vaccine to survivors. Still, they all decide to stay into stay together. But because they were unable to develop a cure, even though they really try, there are some how have been lost such as etho, zed, and mumbo. Still the rest of them morn and try their best to survive without modern society. (-@lookitsspacekween.)

https://hermitcraftheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/618587883366957056/tw-very-brief-mention-of-vomit-general-warnings (-@carpe-shovelem.)

-Funny/happy ending to the Zombie AU: The hermits set up a zombie funneling system where the ones that didn't die from infection get bit by Ren to get turned back and they return the dead and give them proper burials. (-@my-cat-is-a-bastard.)

-I just remembered the thought post with Tuartis sleeping through things, Bdubs sleeping through the apocalypse, but now we've got Wels on the sleep team too! Wonder if he'd have slept through the apocalypse as well... (-@853dragons.)

TW: Mentions of dead animals:

I've got one last bit for the zombie au, it ties into my parasite one: With the rumors that the outbreak started in the Convex cancer research facility, and Scar feeling guilt because he Should Have Been Able To Stop This... It really was their fault. As a company. It wasn't intentional, of course, but Convex created the parasite. It was during research into a cure for certain conditions that are notoriously risky/impossible to perform surgery on, like brain tumors or lukemia-type cancer. The hope was to utilize the parasites as something that could harmlessly go in, eat or destroy all the cancerous cells, then die off, leaving a perfectly healthy human. The research project was abandoned after a several years, when every single attempt ended with either dead or, in later years, extremely sickly rats. Although the final round seemed promising, the rats weren't showing obvious signs of a decline in health after two weeks, Convex was convinced to just give it up and that the utilization of parasitic worms was asking for more trouble than it was worth. Plus, PETA was getting dangerous with their choices in protest against the tests, which was the main reason it was called off. Cub and the board of directors didn't want to risk bodily harm to their researchers, and it truly was getting so beyond ridiculous that a few bodyguards weren't enough protection.

Some researchers took some of the test rats home as pets, including our Patient Zero, because they really were quite cute. Patient Zero got bit by his rat, and nobody really thought anything of it for a couple weeks until his behavior took a bad turn. He was picking fights and throwing verbal abuse, and no amount of warnings and write-ups were giving any hint of stopping him. It all finally resulted in him viciously biting fellow labworkers, which sent two of them and himself to the ER. Upon arrival he had to be restrained and isolated lest he bite more people. He was fired from the company, his bodyguards pulled, but Scar had been friends and continued to visit him regularly, wondering where the change had come from, and saddened by his old friend's obvious decline in health. Nurses told him he was refusing to eat or drink, and too violent to reason with nor release to anywhere but the police or psychiatric hospital. Soon, there were more reports of uncharacteristicly aggressive actions from PZ's victims. And from there.... Well, it's your choice where the story goes, but it didn't take long for Scar to put the puzzle together.

-(@basaltdragon.)

More to be added!

[ghostwriter00797]

I just binged all of the episodes of Mega-Man: Fully Charged that are out (40 on the Cartoon Network website) in one day. I have some thoughts to get out of my head.

Is it neat? No. Does it make sense? Probably not, but I’m inflicting it upon this small fandom anyway.

((Since I’m getting thoughts out about many different parts of the series there are spoilers underneath the cut.))

Thoughts about the overall series:

I’ll admit it, the series starts out a little formulaic. The early episodes are kind of repetitive, but it did get better. In my opinion, it really improves at episode 18 with the introduction of Wood Man. Not only is it the first time (I think) that Aki/Mega Man is visibly injured by his opponent, it is the first time, in my opinion, that the battle and its potential outcomes had weight to them. Everything after that seems to carry some of that weight as well.

It is a show targeted at young boys, so it’s not going to be super dark or mature, but the action sequences are pretty cool. The jokes are pretty funny too, and the ‘voom’ sound that Aki/Mega Man makes when he jumps is nice to hear.

I really like the emphasis that is placed on ending conflict peacefully/violence as a last resort as well as therapy and second chances for the misguided robots who regularly fight Aki/Mega Man. Like Fire Man! He mentions his anger management therapist, breathing exercises, going to a happy place, etc. in order to deal with his extreme temper. He’s still a villain due to his beliefs that humans are inferior and the fact that he is loyal to Sgt. Night/Lord Obsidian, but he is actively trying to manage his anger. It’s a good message.

I also enjoy how Aki/Mega Man’s schematic copying works. Yes, he can use his rogues’ powers against them, but he has to deal with the negative personality traits he gains from them as well. He isn’t infallible.

I really like Mega Mini. I find him hilarious and he’s given me a lot to think about. Which leads me to...

Speculations about Aki/Mega Man’s powers:

How did he get them?

The series hasn’t shown us how Aki/Mega Man got his powers, and by extension Mega Mini. 

Doctor Light doesn’t seem to know that Aki is Mega Man, which doesn’t make sense. He built Aki, so he should have known that his son had combat capabilities. This raises the question: Did Aki always have the capability to become Mega Man?

If he did, then that could mean a few things: 

One, Dr. Light knows and is waiting for Aki to tell him on his own terms. Perhaps he built Aki’s frame during the near end of the Hard Age war to use as a double agent, but didn’t get the chance to activate him because the war ended soon after he was finished. Not much later he had Suna, his wife passed or left him, and he wanted her to have a sibling when she was older. He revisited Aki’s frame in his lab and built a more normal looking system over it, keeping the combat capabilities out of a sense of paranoia and programming them to only emerge if Suna was in extreme danger. When Suna turned ten he activated Aki, gave her a sibling that could protect her, and honestly forgot about the combat functions as the kids grew older. Until he saw Mega Man for the first time.

or

Two, Dr. Light legitimately doesn’t know. He didn’t build Aki with combat capabilities at all, choosing to make him as close to a human being as possible. Which raises another question.

If Dr. Light didn’t build him with combat capabilities, who did/who gave them to him?

Aki seems to be built and programmed as close to a human child as possible, meaning that it’s highly unlikely he modified his own body that drastically. His dad didn’t do it, so that leaves two options. Sgt. Night/Lord Obsidian or some other mysterious benefactor.

If it was Sgt. Night/Lord Obsidian, it could make sense. He seems to resent Dr. Light somewhat, and given that he was able to overhaul Chauncey into a combat machine it wouldn’t be out of the question for him to be able to do the same to Aki. He also seems incredibly invested in Aki/Mega Man, wanting the boy to join his cause. He could have kidnapped Aki, modified him and improved upon Namagem’s design, and then wiped his memory of the event and sent him back. Quite possibly as an act of spite to Dr. Light and his ideals if he could corrupt Aki/Mega Man without mental tampering.

If it was another, mysterious benefactor, then it could be someone working against Sgt. Night/Lord Obsidian who needed the city to have a noble hero. Who approached Aki and asked him, got his permission, and disappeared once everything was done.

Why Mega Mini?

Mega Mini is particularly intriguing to me. Why is he there? Is he meant as a fail safe? As a mentor? Simply someone to repair Aki/Mega Man and keep him in fighting shape? He seems to be able to control everything relating to Mega Man, with or without Aki’s input, so how far does that control reach? Would it be possible for him to take full control of Aki’s body? Or is he limited to only giving advice and being unable to really refuse any of Aki’s orders? Not a lot of answers here, but it sure is something to think about.

Why does he pick up personality traits with the schematics?

Could it possibly be another kind of failsafe? He has the one that limits him to having only three schematics on board, and we’ve seen the consequences of not having that. Perhaps it’s a purposeful flaw in order to keep Aki/Mega Man grounded to reality and humbled. Those moments where he loses control are a challenge, something that he has to overcome to grow as a person and as a hero, and a way to understand the robots he fights.

Is he based off of Namagem?

They share a lot of things. Their seeming mental age, the busters, the power replication, etc. It’s mentioned to Aki/Mega Man more than once that Namagem is his reflection. Namagem doesn’t have the safety mechanisms that Aki has in place, and is seemingly more unhinged for it. Regardless of who gave Aki his powers, it is entirely possible that Namagem was the prototype. The first one that Aki’s powers were modeled off of. And is Namagem aware of this? Not only are the two of them foils, their family seems to be as well. The relationship between Dr. Light, Aki/Mega Man, and Suna is the antithesis of the one between Namagem and Sgt. Night/Lord Obsidian. This leads me to what I created this post for in the first place...

Speculations on the relationship between Namagem and Sgt. Night/Lord Obsidian:

This one... makes me extremely uncomfortable. 

The first time we see Namagem is during the end of the Lightfall two-parter. He comes to get Lord Obsidian away from Aki/Mega Man after the man’s plan has backfired. He is shown supporting Lord Obsidian as they return to their base with the other villains of the show, and refers to him as Father. He seems obedient, dedicated, a generally perfect dragon to Lord Obsidian’s big bad. That doesn’t last long.

The next few times we see Namagem he is disobeying orders, going out to fight Aki/Mega Man despite being repeatedly told not to. He clashes with Sgt. Night’s strategy of waiting for the right time, preferring to charge in and let his fists do the talking. He’s essentially a brash, rebellious teenager who thinks he knows best. He’s Aki/Mega Man’s foil. They’re alike in that way, though Namagem takes it to the extreme. He’s what Aki could have been if he didn’t have his failsafes, Mini Mega, or a supportive family.

Sgt. Night is harsh with Namagem in the same way he’s harsh to the other villains who follow him. He puts them down verbally, calls them useless and generally degrades them. This alone isn’t what puts me into uncomfy territory though. That came with episode 31, “Big Bad Dreams.”

In the dreamscape, Aki/Mega Man finally fights back using Hypno Woman’s powers to force Namagem to see what he fears most. Aki/Mega Man is unable to see what Namagem is terrified of, but we the audience do: Lord Obsidian’s reflection on the windows of a building, massive and looming over Namagem. And what does Namagem do as he sees this? Cries out, flinches, and holds his hands above his face/head like he’s preparing to take a hit. Aki/Mega Man throws him from the dreamscape soon after.

When Namagem comes out of the dreamscape and tells Sgt. Night what happened, he’s belligerent in the face of the man’s remarks, getting up in his personal space and generally being angry. This changes as Sgt. Night walks away. The second he transforms into Lord Obsidian Namagem’s entire demeanor changes. The man is walking away from him but he flinches, cries out, shakes, curls over and in on himself. He seems absolutely terrified.

I know that this is a children’s show, maybe I’m thinking too dark, but those moments are sticking in my brain. I want to know: 

What in the holy hell happened to make Namagem so afraid of Lord Obsidian (not Sgt. Night, but Lord Obsidian) specifically?

[backyardfun]

*presses hands together*

you know guys, when i came back to the kpop fandom, i didn’t think i would get back into ships. let me explain; i’m older now. and i genuinely thought that that part of me was over, that there was nothing in this world that could convince me that a gay couple in kpop could actually be going undercover. i thought that hope was dead inside me.

but i also always had this strange belief, that if any kpop group could welcome and support gay member(s), it was BTS.

There’s just something about that group that always got to me. i didn’t even like their music so much at first; 2013 was a weird time man. People were mad. now we’re trying to forget we’re mad by listening to softer tones and the dynamics of songs have changed, so much so that we can relate to them deeply. you know why? because BTS are going through adulthood and they are angry, and they are sad and they also need this medium called music.

i have said this before, and i will say it again; BTS is very important to me.

And I wouldn’t say I have a favorite member; to me they’re all beautiful and deserve to be loved. I enjoy every interaction and oh my god kim taehyung what are you doing. they are all important. their music is great, they are so involved in the process i just... i love how they work.

so all of the above to say, that i didn’t come back to kpop expecting to root for Jikook. substantially i cam back because of epiphany and the whole love yourself era because i honestly think it’s an important beautiful message and so help me god i will get a tattoo about this someday but...

holy hell jungkook and jimin like...

i wasn’t even looking for ships. i was just listening to euphoria and you know minding my own business and then i was on tumblr looking for jimin or something i don’t remember and there was this.... this fucking interaction.

it wasn’t the reaction particularly, it was the lack thereof. it was like i was watching something i shouldn’t have noticed. like there was a whole world hidden in that look and i wasn’t allowed in. 

and yes i am familiar with how fanservice works, i’ve said this in another post about jikook, i have seen a lot of it come and go and the thematic of ships is that anything goes, right (shirt lifting, hugs, grinding even, kissing in some scenarios) but as i mentionned earlier, i couldn’t pin point where the joke started or ended.

jungkook was just smiling and jimin was just playfully hitting him for whatever he’d done or said. and i don’t mean a small amused smile, like beaming ear to ear smiling. like holy fuck dude, you like this guy don’t you.

it was shocking. i was not ready to witness such a thing. i thought to myself, well maybe it was just this era cuz remember i had been gone for a substantial amount of time a LOT could have happened then and now and as i said, ships come and go.

but like the more time passed and the more i explored the more it became just.... unbearable. like, oof. the final straw was probably gcf tokyo. first of all. closet?? what? and then just... jimin. not the jimin we usually see, focused, wearing make up reay to break hearts but rather... relaxed, playful, unhinged, goofing around jimin like... what the fuck am i watching?? and the song?? and the general aesthetic of oh my god i wish i could’ve been stuck in that moment with you forever.

i was floored. i mean i still am to this day. and i get that maybe jikook is not the most popular tag or ship and i have seen people argue that it’s all fake and that jimin is like that to everyone and jungkook just likes to mess with people...

LISTEN.

Have you ever been in love? Even moreso, have you been in love with someone you were not supposed to be in love with? the tragic sort of love that leaves you aching but you still pursue it because goddamn what else can you do?

This is what tragic love looks like. And BTS are all super close, they all have this feeling of intense camaderie and I believe that they know what’s up, not for perverted reasons i think they know because it was a journey for all of them. and they all went through difficult things. ALL OF THEM. and it’s a tough world and if you can by any mean make it easier for each other then why not. I’m not discrediting any other ship, but you can’t deny, although you are free to i won’t judge you for it, that this... this looks like something else. it doesn’t feel right.

there is something going on and it’s beautiful and it’s shy and they want to share it with us and they are doing so in the only way they know how or can.

i want them to be happy. you know, even if they don’t end up together publicly. once they are retired and maybe move into a quiet place, like... i hope they get together finally. i hope they get all the happiness they deserve. if they don’t find it in each other i hope to god they find it in someone else.

BTS has done so much for me I just wish I could repay them somehow.

Love yourself. Cherish you. Have a good night/day.

[snowbellewells]

“Got My Angel Now”

So, I started writing this after 5x03 (“Siege Perilous”), and though I know that there are elements of it which were disproved or went another way in canon, I still don’t think it is so far off as to be unenjoyable, and I’m pretty fond of it.   I’d love to hear what you think once you’ve read.  The title comes from a line in “Halo” by Beyonce, and the lyrics within are from Christina Perri’s “I Believe”.  I don’t own either of those wonderful songs, nor either member of our lovely Pirate and Princess duo.  I only want to see them live happily ever after… (and in a way we did!! ;) 

I’m still tagging this for the #Ouat Fandom Crescendo for one more week.  I had a couple more I wanted to re-post!

 “Got My Angel Now” 

By: @snowbellewells (TutorGirlml on ff.net) 

             They should never have trusted Arthur so blindly. Have they learned nothing yet after meeting so many heroes and monsters of myth and legend and discovering so many to be the opposite of how they are painted in the tales of old?  Oh, aye, the royal had been stealthy – welcoming them to Camelot, throwing a grand ball in their honor, knighting David as a brother-in-arms and seating him in the very Siege Perilous once held by Lancelot himself – but it had made them let down their guards…and now Emma was paying for it.

            Standing surrounded in the tower room Regina and Belle use as they research and experiment trying to find a way to communicate with and free Merlin, Arthur’s treachery suddenly comes into sharp focus for all of them.  An entire phalanx of Camelot knights – Dave’s supposed comrades – surround Killian, Henry, David, Robin, and Belle (unfortunately Regina is not present to wipe them all out with a wrathful fireball) with swords at their chests or throats, circled closely enough that breaking free or moving to help the last member of their party is impossible.

            Arthur himself stands facing Emma, his blade drawn and pointed just above her heart, poised to pierce her chest and make that precious, priceless organ spill its lifeblood and go still.  Killian feels himself practically vibrating with rage at the betrayal and fear for her, not to mention the bitter anger he can feel radiating off of the prince beside him, and he reaches out a hand to clutch Henry’s forearm, feeling the boy nearly jerk forward to his mother.  He doesn’t think these men would hurt one so young, but he is no longer certain.

           “Now Dark One,” Arthur spits, his voice harsh with controlled venom, “you and I are going to the tree.  Your magic and the mushroom your noble father so kindly procured for me,” here he slants a gaze at Charming, “will show me what to do to free Merlin and to trap you instead where you rightly belong.”

           Killian knows Emma now possesses enough magic in her little finger alone to blow all these men away, but she holds back, as afraid as any of them that magic use will only continue to give the darkness more footholds in her psyche.  She slants her eyes from boldly staring Arthur down to seek his.  He wants to tell her to fight, to disappear, escape, and he wishes to know what he can do to comfort her, but the words and the knowledge both escape him.  Instead, his only ease is found in knowing that Emma’s dagger is nowhere here – not where Arthur can lay his hands on it and control his love.  Though he does not know where Snow and Lancelot have taken it for safekeeping, it is at least beyond this broken monarch’s reach.

          There is nothing to do but watch as Arthur has two more knights bind Emma’s hands and force her none-too-gently from the room behind him, the rest of the guard linger menacingly, to be sure none of them can follow or try to help her until they are well away.

          It matters not; he will catch up, no matter where they take her.  Emma must only hold on, keep her faith…

 “I believe in the lost possibilities you can’t see                                                                and I believe that the darkness reminds us where light can be;

I know that your heart is still beating, beating, Darling,

I believe that you fell just so you could land next to me, 

So hold on, hold on…

         Though naught but a quarter of an hour passes before the rest of Arthur’s men withdraw from them, it is well into the evening before Killian finds Emma in a moonlit clearing of the dense forest which encircles the kingdom.  Their group had split up in the hopes of someone reaching Swan that much faster, once word spread of Arthur’s failing to trap the Dark One and how she had used her powers to vanish from his grasp in the courtyard.  Killian still does not know what had been done to her before that, but he can only be glad she has outsmarted their treacherous adversary and saved herself.  He practically deflates with relief at the sight of her before him, appearing hale and in one piece.  He cannot be anything but glad that it is he who will have a moment to himself with his love. It does not matter that it has not even been a whole day, his relief upon seeing Emma again is almost too great to bear.  The vision of her before him across the clearing is like the first breath of fresh spring air to his weary soul after too long locked away in suffocating winter. The last few hours he has felt as if he is struggling for breath, consciously forcing his heart not to skip beats in agony and worry for her and what she might be suffering.  His joy is great enough to override caution, and he doesn’t take in the raw, unhinged look in her wild eyes, nor the way she fairly vibrates with some unknown strain or injury.  

          The air around Emma pulses with electric energy, and she throws up a hand to ward him off – pulling Killian up short when he feels the force pressing him back.  Drawing in a steadying breath and hesitating to truly study her expression of confusion and anxiety, he realizes with a sharp pang in his chest that he is not sure whether she is merely trying to protect him while out of control or if she truly doesn’t know him in this moment.

          Those lovely, mesmerizing green eyes which never fail to capture him in their depths, flit nervously from his face, to his hand and hook, to her own trembling fingers outstretched between them, to the trees that surround them, and back again nervously – clearly unsettled and pained. Their emerald depths have never appeared so dark before, as if the forces fighting within to color her very mind and spirit are attempting to spread into even the smallest details of her being.  His Swan literally shakes even as she attempts to hold herself steady, staring at him over the ground between them.  “What are you doing here?!?” she demands, looking shaken and angry, but at the same time as if she wants nothing more than to close the space between them, fall into his supporting arms, and hold on for dear life.  “I brought myself here for a reason, Killian!  I barely got away from them, and I had to use my powers to do it. I can’t risk something like that happening again.  I’m too dangerous to be near anyone until I find Merlin – and not when Arthur is waiting.  Not until I get rid of this, this…thing inside me.  I feel it swirling and clawing… even when it isn’t speaking to me in Rumplestiltskin’s voice, it’s trying to break free.  So…y-you can’t be here!  I w-won’t hurt you…” Her lower lip trembles, but she looks so firm in her decision and determined to suffer alone in her misery that his heart constricts in pain for her, breaking a bit more at the sight of her anguish.

            He cannot bear to see her suffering, to hear the agony in her voice; the yearning loneliness made plain beneath her warning to him makes him continue to inch closer to her, regardless of the threat Emma thinks she poses.  He had known the wretched feeling of hopeless despair she is feeling all too well himself – for years – until she came along and brought more to his life than revenge, brought back the man of honor he once was.  He takes another hesitant step forward, cautiously reaching out for her with a gentle hand and equally coaxing voice.  “Easy now, Love,” he practically croons.  “We can be careful…but you should not – and will not – have to do this alone.”

         “Please stop!” she cries out, shooting another regretful look of longing at him.

         Killian shakes his head, unwilling to let her go on this way, sure that he can help her, soothe her, and ease her pain if he can only reach her.  He watches as Emma continues to tremble and shake, but she remains still, allowing him to approach, even if she does so fearfully.  Finally, the very tips of his fingers graze her cloak, then his whole hand rests on her upper arms, gripping gently as if unsure that she won’t still flee from him.

          Just as she did in that circle of stones when their whole party first arrived in Camelot, Emma expels a terribly ragged breath and deflates, falling into his arms and clutching his shoulders as desperately as he clings to her.  Killian breathes again, having barely realized he was holding it, and smooths a hand through her hair.  He is not at all deterred by Emma’s moment of weakness, her nearly unhinged power, nor her fear.  He is only glad she has finally reached for him in time of need.  He will not give her up; he will find a way to help her, show her he will never fear her – whatever betide – and he will not fail to fight for her against any threat or foe.  Watching her battle the Darkness within allows him to see, not her faltering, but even more of her strength.  His admiration for her has only grown.  No one else could understand the allure of the dark and the valor needed to claw away from it as he can.

‘Cause I have been where you are before                                                                                                                                                                                                     and I have felt the pain of losing who you are,

I have died so many times, but I am still alive

So hold on, hold on….

            Tenderly, reverently, Killian’s hand travels on – down from the silken waves of her golden hair to trace Emma’s shoulders, then her back, pressing just enough to draw her closer, only to release her quickly when she cries out in pain at even the slight weight of his hands on her back. She tries to swallow her reaction in the next instant – hide it away – but she cannot conceal the wince that escapes as she curls in on herself protectively, nor can he fail to see the stiff way she holds her shoulders now that he is looking for it.

            His calloused fingers come to cup her strong chin, tilting Emma’s face up to meet his gaze, so she cannot avoid his eyes. “Where are you hurt, Swan?” he murmurs lowly, voice rough with concern and desire to help.  His words might be soft, but they are taut with worry and anger that these brigands would dare to lay a rough hand on his princess.  “What did they do to you?”

            Emma shakes her head, pulling away from his cautious grip and biting down on her lower lip in that way she has when trying to avoid baring herself to him, especially if the knowledge he seeks might be painful.  “It’s nothing, Killian.  Don’t worry over it.  I…I could have healed it already…if I weren’t worried about using my magic more than I have already.”

            Impatiently, he shakes his own head once, frustrated at her stubbornness and unconcern for her own well-being.  “It is not nothing, Emma.  Of that I am quite sure.”  His words are clipped with the force of his emotion, accent more pronounced, and Emma feels a shiver skitter down her spine that is as much from attraction as foreboding over what he will do when he sees her injuries. Carefully, but firmly, Killian places both hand and hook on her shoulders and turns her around to face away from him.

            For a moment, Emma clutches her cloak about her, trying to keep this revelation from his eyes in one last desperate effort, but when pain lances through her shoulders and she cannot bite back the whimper that escapes her, she knows it is a losing battle.  Slumping forward, she releases a sigh and ceases to fight against his gentle determination.  

            “There now, Lass,” her pirate coaxes in that warm burr of his.  His hand and hook barely skim over her form as he unclasps and pulls the cloak away. “Let us see, hmm?  Everything will be…”  However, his voice chokes and trails off before he can finish his gentle reassurance.  A strangled noise in his throat and the sudden heavy tension in the air around them tells her without doubt that once the cloak was off her shoulders the wide neckline and low back of her dress leave the stinging marks on her flesh exposed plainly to his eyes.

            Neither of them move for several long, silent moments, and Emma presses her trembling lips together tightly, trying desperately not to let the tears that are welling in her eyes fall.  She hisses when the cool metal of his hook gingerly traces the brand burned into her right shoulder, serving to mark her as a witch, and the scattered whip weals she bore rather than admit anything about where her dagger was hidden and endanger Merlin and all of them.  The lash marks pulse hotly along with the beat of her heart and the blood rushing through her veins.  Somehow, though, the tender care in his touch soothes her a bit, and she relaxes, almost sinking to her knees in relief and exhaustion as he continues. Her eyes slip closed, and she nearly feels safe again until he whispers in a broken voice.  “Oh, Love, how could they do this to you?  …I am so very sorry, Emma.”

            Her tears do fall silently then, and she turns back to him, wordlessly trailing her fingers across his face, up over his cheekbones, wiping his matching tears away.  Shushing Killian even as his shoulders shake with silent emotion, Emma leans against his chest and tries for the first time in what feels like ages to let down her guard and catch her breath at the safety she finds in his arms.

            Eventually, Killian pulls back slightly, brushing a loose tendril of her mussed hair off her forehead and resting his hand along the side of her face softly.  He shifts to take her hand in his and then leads her to the banks of the small river running placidly behind them.  Urging Emma wordlessly to sit on a large rock at the water’s edge, he pulls a clean black scarf from inside his long coat, bends to wet it in the cool water, then comes back to crouch behind her.  Clearing his throat in a nervous way that warms her heart, Killian asks gently. “Not to be indelicate, Swan, but can you shrug out of your frock for a moment?  Hold it up in the front if you wish, but I need to see your whole back if I am to clean your wounds properly.”

            Emma dips her head, blushing fiercely, and does as he asks, sucking in a sharp, pained breath once more as she eases the material from her shoulders and the movement stretches the torn skin of her back. Finally, she wraps her arms tightly around her torso, holding the front of the dress up and bracing herself. Hissing as the damp cloth first makes contact with the bloody stripes sliced into her pale hide, she tries not to flinch or wince and make Killian’s task more difficult; however, she can feel Killian’s hesitance and guilt at hurting her more, even in order to help, regardless of how she tries to hold her reactions in.

            Slowly, the water begins to cool the enflamed agony and she eases a fraction, feeling a bit like his ministrations are healing her as well as any magic could.  The feel of his fingers ghosting over her back and down her arm as he finishes and tells her she can pull her gown back into place remind her vividly of another time so long ago, when he used another of his scarves to bind a wound to her hand, seemingly reading her mind as he did so and seeing the attraction she had felt for him even then simmering under her skin.  His care that day atop the beanstalk had made her ache to trust him so desperately, and looking back now, it nearly floors her to realize just how completely she does trust him now – so much so that she would place her very life in his hands without question.

            Emma feels the warm exhalation of her pirate’s breath on her neck mere seconds before he lightly rests his forehead there, seemingly needing merely to hold her as he draws in a shaky breath.  They are silent for some time; the running water, bird calls, and scuffling of wild creatures in the brush are the only sounds around them.  Finally, he eases away and speaks once more, circling to face her as he does so. “Emma, I know you do not want to put yourself at more risk – nor do you want to be forced to use your magic again to defend yourself, or any of us – but you must return with me.  We can find some place for you to stay where Arthur and his sorry excuses for gallant knights will never know of your return. You must have some salve or medicine and better treatment than I can offer for those cuts, and especially the burn. I fear it could become infected. Regina will be near enough to guard you with her magic this time, and we will not be taken unawares again.  I certainly will not be making the mistake of trusting anyone else in Camelot again.”

            She wants to argue with him, to be strong enough to stay out here alone and in hiding, but she cannot make herself form the words.  In fact, she knows with painful certainty that she cannot bear to have Killian out of her sight right now.  Weakened and vulnerable, she needed his comfort and his strength, needs someone with some faith and hope that all which has gone wrong can still work out.  Not only will she worry for his safety and the rash action he might take to right the vicious wrongs done to her, but she yearns for his care just now, his steadfast love the strongest thing keeping the darkness at bay, even as her situation grows more dire.

I believe that tomorrow is stronger than yesterday,                                                                                                                                                                                             and I believe that your head is the only thing in your way.

I wish that you could see your scars turn into beauty.

I believe that today it’s okay to be not okay…

Hold on, hold on…

This is not the end of me, this is the beginning

Hold on…

            Later that night, as moonlight filters into the isolated old hunting lodge that Killian and Henry have somehow located in a far-flung corner of the castle’s grounds, deserted and dusty from long disuse, Emma wakes from a light doze, still uneasy enough not to sleep deeply, despite her wear and strain. Sitting up stiffly, her eyes search the room, seeking her guardian knight, even as his name escapes her lips worriedly.  “Killian?” she asks, a soft, plaintive note in the single whispered word.

            He stands quickly from where his lithe form had been curled up on a settee near the window keeping watch, himself bathed in dark shadows and moon glow as he steals across the room to sit on the edge of the bed at her side. “I’m here, Love.  Are you in pain?  Regina is just outside, I can summon her…”

            Emma merely shakes her head, reaching her hand out from under the layers of warm blankets she remembers him tucking around her a couple hours before. Looking up into his fathomless blue, blue eyes, she closes her fingers around his hook, hanging on for dear life. “No, it’s not that,” she assures him, gazing up into his face, drinking in every perfect, adoring feature as he stares back at her.  “I just wanted to make sure that you didn’t disappear, that you were still with me…” She trails off, looking sheepish but also honest.  They might be more than she would usually say, but she cannot make herself take the words back.

            He traces his hand across her forehead soothingly, then lets his fingers tangle gently in her hair, pulling her up to press the softest of kisses to her lips.  “Don’t worry, Darling,” he murmurs, his caress easing her pounding heart.  “It took me centuries to find you.  I won’t be letting go of my saving grace now.  We will put an end to this darkness and treachery. Our love story is only beginning.”

            And with those words Emma is able to fall back into a healing, dreamless sleep.  

Tagging a few who may like this:  @whimsicallyenchantedrose @kmomof4 @hollyethecurious @artistic-writer @ilovemesomekillianjones @branlovesouat @searchingwardrobes @laschatzi @drowned-dreamer @jennjenn615 @bmbbcs4evr @gingerchangeling @blackwidownat2814 @spartanguard @midnightswans @jackieorioncat @duathadun @galadriel26 @revanmeetra87 @winterbaby89 @capswantrue @celestial-fire-writer @kiwistreetswan @psymplemind @ohmakemeahercules

[sandalaris]

Sitting here... Thinking about Seth x Kate and attraction...

As shippers, we always like to theorize when our ships became attracted to each other, and I see a lot of that in Seth x Kate works. Maybe it's because it's one of the smaller fandoms I'm in or maybe it's tied to something else, but it got me thinking. I don't think they were actually all that attracted to each other in the beginning.

Here me out, they are both very attractive people I'm not saying otherwise, but there's a lot working against them at first: age, world, and first meeting. 

Let's look at Kate. With shipper glasses, I can happily play with the idea that she thought the guy who stepped out in front of the RV was hot. But without them I don't think the thought crossed her mind. He's older for starters, an adult, and Kate's still very much a teenager at this point. She's going through a lot, it's true, still reeling from her mom's death, having to take over the family as her dad spirals, and even having her entire life uprooted and put into a small RV, but she's still very much in the mindset of a teenager and Seth is still very much a grown man. Plenty of teens are attracted to adults, but even those that are rarely act on the attraction. Their primary attraction is towards those closer to their own age group, with more of a distant crush on those fully in the adult category and Kate is a good teenaged girl with a boyfriend she loves. This doesn't mean that objectively she can't see him as attractive, but I don't think she's attracted to him at this point. He's just this weirdo that was drinking and she nearly hits.

Then she meets Richie and her focus is a bit shifted for a bit. (Disclaimer: I'm mainly a Seth x Kate shipper, but Kate x Richie is adorable. I may prefer the two as platonic buds, but that doesn't stop my appreciation of the them as a couple/ship.)

Even without my Kitchie shipper glasses I have to acknowledge that Kate was attracted to Richie and he to her. But I also have to keep in mind where they are both coming from during that poolside scene. Kate is going through a bit of a rebellion against dear old dad, and smoking a cigarette while flirting with a hot guy at the pool is part of that. On her part, this is a bit of harmless flirting, a bit of fun to take her mind off of everything else going on. It will end the moment she goes back up to her room and she'll never see the guy again. She even calls him on it at one point, underaged girls?, in a friendly little reminder that this isn't serious and he shouldn't take it as such. Richie's motivations are bit more blurred, as he's both unhinged from having his head messed with and is fully aware that he's about to take her hostage, not to mention his little peek into her head and seeing her pain. (And I do believe most of this scene is a meant to be a nod to movie!Richie and his scene with movie!Kate where he hallucinates her asking him to go down on her, while the writers also try to keep show!Richie from being the rapist psychopath that movie!Richie was.) Richie is doubly aware that this isn't serious, that they aren't flirting with intent, but I think a big part of him wants to give her a little break before all hell breaks loose and flirting with a pretty girl is certainly no hardship. (I could go into the kiss, both with and without my Kitchie shipper glasses, talk about intention vs interpretation and where I think they cross and where they don't, but this is already so long.)

Most of the ride to the Twister has Kate's focus on Richie. In part because they had that moment by the pool and in part because he is quieter than his brother and Kate feels more comfortable talking to him over Seth. But at this point I don't any of them are thinking about attraction.

As for Seth, he may have thought the girl behind the wheel was pretty. What he could see of her that is, and Kate does have one of those faces that could have her passing anywhere from a young teen to a young looking woman in her early-twenties. And early twenties is a perfectly acceptable age for him to look and appreciate. But I don't think it went beyond that. Just a sort of acknowledgement of finding her attractive while the rest of him is too focused on the RV and what it means for him and Richie and getting them to Mexico. Not enough of a thought for him to feel guilty about when he finds out her real age, and certainly not enough to stop him from taking her hostage, a fact that puts them into very defined roles of Criminal and Victim, but there.

So yeah, I see a lot of things saying they were attracted to each other from first sight, but I don't think so. I think it happened later.

There is the moment where Seth promises to keep her safe as long as she listens to him, but I don't think attraction plays a role into that for either of them. But I do think it shifts things for them slightly. He's both threatening her and assuring her, but the threat is so buried as to be practically unacknowledged on both sides. And Kate believes him. Maybe because of naiveté or because she's just desperate to think her and her family will be OK or maybe Kate can just see he's telling the truth, but whatever it is he develops shades of gray to her at those points. He's not just the man with the gun who is holding her family hostage anymore. He's still a grown man and a criminal and the cards are still stacked against her really looking at him in a way where she could find him attractive, or him her, but his not just the Villain in her life. He's more human to her then.  

Now, I love the moment Seth knocks out the guy at the door for making comments about her as much as the next SethKate shipper, but without shipper glasses I don't really think it's anything more than him being protective of a young girl from a slimy predator. Although it is another moment where Kate's view point on Seth shifts slightly. Moving him closer to an area where she can look at him as someone she could be attracted to. Probably against her will, but the grin she gives and the way she watches him makes me think that he's become more of a Good person in her eyes over a Bad person. Her actions in the Twister towards both Gecko brothers after that also show signs of this. She's not really afraid of them anymore. It's been a matter of hours and already she's stopped looking at them with fear and started talking to them like people, arguing with them, and feels perfectly comfortable being alone with them.

Kate still has Kyle back home at this point, at least she thinks she does, still has her life and this is nothing but a temporary blip. Seth and Richie are two criminals who took her and her family hostage, neither are in a place for her where she can look at them as anything other than that. And Seth and Richie are very close to getting rich and happy. The family they took is a means to that end. Sure, they like them well enough, but not enough to really break them from that role. At least at this point.

(Let's also not forget that Seth and Kate come from two very different worlds. Worlds neither is really looking to leave. Kate wouldn't fit into Seth's at this point, and Seth wouldn't fit into Kate's. A fact I feel would keep either from really looking at the other since there'd be no point even if they didn't have the age and circumstances working against them.)

So when do I think the attraction formed for them?

I'd say in the Temple for Seth. He's defending of her starts to go a little deeper, he starts to cling a bit more. Maybe not because of, acknowledged, attraction but definitely more just out of some obligation to some kid he dragged into this mess. Otherwise he'd have been acting the same way towards Scott. They go through a lot together, are two of the three people to survive the Twister, and she was part of it just like he was. 

By the time the next morning dawned and she was at his car, she was no longer a child to him and he was full on in a mind set to look at her. His gaze does the up-down perusal when she asks him about wanting company (another line that was a nod to the movie, but damn if "want some company" isn't often used for inviting someone to bed), and whereas it may have just been him thinking about her offer it does leave me the distinct impression that she's moved from "kid I kidnapped" to "grown woman" in his eyes. Plus he let her come with him. For a man who doesn't involve other people for long, and only adults when he does, who was mad at Richie for taking a hostage to begin with, had Kate still been a child in his eyes he would have dropped her off at the nearest bus stop and told her to go home. But he didn't. Seth looked at Kate and saw someone who was an adult by all accounts except age and let her make her own decisions. And if that decision was with him, all the better.

Seth was pretty messed up mentally after the Twister, and there's still the fact that she's seventeen that he has to contend with, but I think at that point is when he's fully aware that he's attracted to Kate. And I use his reactions Rafa, his hallucinations of Kate (face cupping/caressing is romantic, thank you very much), and his over the shoulder glance at her in the hotel room as evidence of his realization of his attraction. Seth is an adult, fully aware of when he's attracted to someone, and fully capable to tampering down his actions if need be. He knows at this point. He's just choosing not to act on it. (And I could give another long meta on why that is, but this is already longer than the measly two paragraphs I'd thought it'd be. And in all honesty, I'd delete it as mad ramblings but this is a small fandom and maybe someone else has similar thoughts and wants to share.)

For Kate I think it came later. Sometime during their Mexican Honeymoon after she stopped seeing Seth as the Villain, stopped being bothered by him being a criminal, and started seeing him as a peer. At this point she's been through an event that pushed her beyond what she was before, enough that trying to be that teenager she was before the Temple is impossible. She's aged as much as she can mentally at this point, and whereas her hormones and brain development are keeping her from being 100% beyond teen-hood, her experiences have pushed her well beyond anything remotely in the realm of child. Seth is her partner at this point, not her caretaker, combining it with what she went through put him into a light that allowed her to see him as an option.

Personally, I like the idea that it was after they separated that Kate realized what was going on was more than just hormones and close proximity. Realizing that she truly was attracted to him as opposed to just having her emotions and thoughts confused by events that happened around and too them. Sometime between standing bloody and hurt on the side of the road and arriving at Bethel, Kate realized she was attracted to him. I know I've said it before, but Kate is young. And grew up fairly sheltered/innocent. I don't think she'd quite grasp onto what was happening until after it was too late.

One last thing and then I swear I'm done (and I applaud you for reading my 3am ramblings), the show's intention: Do I think that the show intended for us to read into Seth and Kate being a possible couple? I don't think they meant for us not to. I believe they left it purposely ambiguous. At least after the first season. First season I think they were just expanding on the movie, but by the second... I think we're meant to wonder, but for it never to be confirmed one way or another.

[goshiyachi]

Water under the bridge

Fandom: Haikyuu!! Pairing: Ushijima Wakatoshi/Tsukishima Kei Summary: “Were you really that unhinged?” With his wound? Tsukishima was a bit of at a loss, the way Ushijima looked at him. “It’s fine.” He looked at his bandaged fingers. “Water under the bridge.” Prompt Used: Midnight Hide & Seek A/N: All hail this momentum that’s helping me produce these small fics and ficlets for fictober.

Or read on Ao3.

It had been a wild chase, one where Tsukishima felt like he was reeling from a phantom adrenaline as he continued through school and volleyball practice. There was this wrath of untouched energy that automatically infused into his daily routines. It felt like it had been too long since his passion ensued his limbs. There was something there; an unmistakable inclination to keep on working. It unnerved him. The way the match against Shiratorizawa jerked at him. It gave him a new sense of direction.

Years of an unspoken despair had finally snapped. Now Tsukishima had this new perspective on wanting to become stronger on the court. To show himself that there was a reason he dedicated his own time with the Karasuno volleyball team. Why he made the choice to bruise and damage his own body for the title of champions. He had once thought of winning in a club as wasted effort.

But now, when he finally moved past his old wounds, he saw it.

The chance to live on with few regrets. With the days passing slowly his healing made Tsukishima use his time wisely. Setting his training to a fluttering pace he appreciated his muscles stretching and aching from his various productive sessions. Somewhere in that time Yamaguchi saw the difference within him; the way Tsukishima's smiles grew more genuine with his teasing. It was almost left unnoticed. (Though to be fair, only a small group of people were able to pick up on Tsukishima's slow transformation of verbalizing his subtle compassion.)

Walking late at night was a new thing. There was just a sudden impulse to grab a sweatshirt and his phone that was still connected to his headphones and start walking mindlessly. It was serene; in the way that it gave him ample time to reflect his own thoughts. The street lamps' glows made the world feel dejected as there were hardly any loud noises to immerse or distract his train of thought. It gave him space to concentrate on his own breathing as he tried his best to find answers of questions he didn't know exist until recently

The playlist was still on shuffle blasting on a retro track when he felt it.

He wasn’t alone.

Glancing forward he saw a figure sitting on a bench, it looked like the stranger didn’t notice his presence yet, as they hardly moved an inch to indicate a possible awkward exchange of stares. Pausing, Tsukishima made a quick surveillance of the street in front of him before making a conscious decision to j-walk it. As he started making his way he heard a voice. One that strangely was familiar. He didn’t stop his brisk stride, rather he dragged his feet to the other side while pretending he didn’t hear anything in hopes he didn't have to interact with anyone this late at night. The voice stopped after two failed attempts, Tsukishima promptly called it a night and went home.

He didn’t bother mentioning his new nightly walks to Yamaguchi. (He should of have.)

Two nights later it happened again. He was in the middle of passing a bus stop when he saw a large figure walking ahead of him. At first, Tsukishima wondered if he should have tried another street before he found himself recognizing who the figure was…

“Shiratorizawa’s Ace.” His voice may have not been as loud compared to Hinata’s but, with the current time it was enough for the person to turn around.

He caught Ushijima’s stare quickly. Tsukishima stumbled with his feet before apologizing in haste as he left the scene. With his body thumbing in hyper attention he got back to his home in record time. It didn’t make sense. Why did he run away? He wasn’t some weirdo that was scared of him. But then, why did his heart start acting up? (Tsukishima got the answer three weeks later.)

But before he realized why, he found himself bumping into Ushijima again the next midnight stroll. The streets were bare, with no cars driving. His headphones were strangely not plugged in to his phone but hung around his neck for comfort. Just as he was relaxing in his pace he caught sight of olive eyes. In the back of his mind, he could tell he was starting to sweat and burn. The silence between them was a little too uncomfortable

“Tsukishima Kei?” Ushijima begun.

He nodded in apprehension.

“How are you doing?”

The tension was still laced in the air and their body language but that didn’t stop him from scoffing internally from disbelief. It was surreal having to witness someone like Ushijima having trouble with social cues when he had a first account of meeting him on the court. He was a completely different person (yet, it perfectly fit to have this kind of combination to create Ushijima).

“I’m okay.”

That didn’t mean that he knew why it was somehow difficult to look directly at Ushijima.

Ushijima’s face was hard to decipher. On one hand, it looked like he was indifferent and bored with their conversation. But then, Tsukishima's gut gave him the sense that Ushijima was overthinking everything he spewed out to him. It was annoying how all that unease was high-jacking his own thought process as he listened to Ushijima’s signals (both verbal and non).

“That’s good to hear.”

It didn’t escape him, he noticed Ushijima’s discomfort was regarded to Tsukishima’s bandaged hand. He tested out his little theory by making his injured hand more visible and flexed it, earning a hiss under his breath. Ushijima’s eyes harden and soften in guilt as a response.

“Seriously, it’s not a big deal.” He insisted again.

“What?”

It caught Tsukishima off guard that an essential stranger he once played against apologized to him so quickly. As if… “Were you really that unhinged?” With his wound?

Tsukishima didn’t know how to respond as he couldn’t pinpoint or accurately describe how he was feeling now. He didn’t know him that well and neither could Tsukishima understand what was going on Ushijima’s guilt. It happened in the middle of a heated game, there was always a risk among each game that someone’s luck could drop and hell would be ensured. It wasn’t like his injury would leave permanent damage.

Still.

Tsukishima was a bit of a loss, the way Ushijima looked at him. “I’m fine.” He looked at his bandaged fingers. “Water under the bridge.”

Ushijima wasn’t convinced but forced himself to nod. They didn’t say anything for a few beats until a car passed and a random dog barked. “Are you sure there isn’t something that I can do?”

Tsukishima bit his lip as he sighed deeply.  He started to take a step back and he strained his head up to see the night sky. “Not really. Nothing really comes to mind.”

He chanced a glimpse to him.

“It was my choice to sacrifice my fingers to win the game. Besides," he tucked his hand into his pocket carefully. “It’s healing just fine.”

“I can um, help you with…your spikes.” Ushijima looked hopeful.

“Yeah…sure.” He found himself unable to decline the offer. “When I’m fully healed.”

Ushijima didn’t bother to hide the small smile from him as he produced a cell phone right away.

“Great.”

[calliecat93]

RWBY V5, CH5 Review: Necessary Sacrifice

(Repost Form My Now Defunct Review Blog)

I have fallen SO BEHIND. Sorry guys, November was a crazy month. Along with holiday stuff, my dad had a seizure and while he is fine now, that… kind of killed a lot of my resolve since I had to shift to taking care of him. But things are better now and on the upside, the delay gave me more time to look over the recent episodes. This one in particular… doesn’t have a lot of fans due to it’s slower pace and being exposition. But does that really make it bad? Well lets find out.

Overview

We start in Menagerie where Blake and Sun are attempting to gather recruits for the Haven Defense. But… they aren’t getting many results. It’s not hard to see why either. They are asking these citizens to essentially enter a war that doesn’t actively involve them for a side that has oppressed them. As Blake explains later, the Faunus who weren’t born on Menagerie came to the island to get away from the oppression. Why would they risk their necks for a species who only made their lives harder? Even not taking that into account, most of them are likely untrained in combat, have families, and don’t want to die. This would scare anyone. It’s easy for Blake, who has faced the oppression and knows that the White Fang will cause the Faunus problems regardless, and Sun who probably hasn’t faced as much oppression as the Menagerie Faunus and even if he did, doesn't’ agree with the WF’s extremism.

During their one on one though, Sun asks Blake about Adam. He does retract when he sees that it makes her uncomfortable, which I’ll go into later, but the catgirl is willing to talk about him. She mentions about defining a person by one word and uses her teammates as examples. For Ruby, when she first met her, she viewed her as the embodiment of purity due to her idealistic, but good-natured intentions on helping people by becoming a Huntress. For Weiss, Blake grew to see her as defiance, most likely due to wanting to break away from her family’s negative influence and to make the Schnee name better regardless of what gets in her way. And for Yang, Blake defines her as strength, both due to her fighting abilities and her emotional strength, which she came to see after Yang opened up about her own childhood and about Raven. It was really interesting to see how she views the girls and, while she’s still contemplating on it, she describe Sun as earnest. Given how far he went to help Blake both when they first met and now, I think that’s pretty fitting.

With Adam however, Blake’s definition changed several times. First she saw him as justice, likely admiring his resolve to better the Faunus. Then she saw him as passion due to her feelings for him. But now? Adam is spite. This speaks loud and clear on how Blake feels about her former partner. She saw him become filled with hate and is now no better than what he fought against. If he gets his way, then regardless of where the Faunus each stand, it’s going to make things worst. His level of hate is contagious and he’s sorea dit over the rest of the White Fang, including Ilia. Blake opens up about her, having admired her for choosing to fight for the Faunus even though she could easily pass for human. It even led to Blake deciding to remain in the White Fang after her parents pulled out. She had Adam and Ilia after all. I still want to know what happened that got Blake to finally realize that things were going too far, something that I don’t think we’ll get until we see what caused Adam to turn into an extremist One thing at a time, I guess.

Regardless, Blake doesn’t want to give up on Ilia yet. She believes that her former friend can still change. How does she intend to do that? Well she decides to use Sun’s example. Despite how angrily Blake treated Sun, the monkey boy still never gave up on her. He knew that Blake needed someone and he chose to go after her due to it. It annoys me when people call Sun a stalker, he isn’t. Yeah Blake didn’t want his help, but it’s what she needed to pull herself back. And Sun did so because he cares about Blake. It doesn’t matter if you view it through a platonic or romantic glass, Sun saw a friend in a bad place and decided to help, even if he knew that she may not accept it. So Blake wants to follow that and try to help Ilia, even if she doesn’t want it. It’s something that the chameleon girl needs before she does something unforgivable, and Blake plans on being that something.

But that’ll be for another day. For now, we cut over to Mistral where Oscar is wrapping up training. Ruby comes to fetch him for dinner, complimenting his improvement over such little time. Up to now, Oscar’s only real combat experience had been against the occasional small Grimm, nothing like what he’s gong to have to face soon. Ruby tells him that at this rate, it won’t be long before he’s combat ready… and that of course makes her sad, a reminder of Penny. She gets ready to head back to the kitchen, but she is stopped when Oscar asks her something hat honestly, the fandom itself has wanted to know.. How is Ruby able to handle all of this? For Oscar, he’s already overwhelmed. Yeah he wanted to be something beyond a farmhand, but sharing a soul and being dragged into a secret war… well, that’s something that no one would ask for. Ruby tries to make him feel better, telling him that while all of them went to Beacon to help others, they didn’t sign up for this war either. But regardless, they have accepted it and have to move forward/

That… doesn’t help. It only causes Oscar to snap. He’s terrified, yet Ruby is standing there completely calm and assured. How is she able to be that way? How is she not scared?  How is she not fazed at all by all that’s happened so far? Once Oscar calms down, Ruby reveals why. And for the first time since V3, the hooded Huntress speaks of Penny and Pyrrha. Two good-hearted girls who Ruby didn’t knwo for long, but she knew that they were good people and they die under terrible circumstances. For Pyrrha, she was so desperate to help others that she went into a fight that she knew she couldn’t win, just to try and do something to save others. As a result,s he was killed. Penny got ripped apart, just so Cinder could make a statement. Salem doesn’t care who she kills or how, as long as it gets her what she wants. Ruby knows that she has to be stopped, so she’s going to fight.

Is Ruby scared? Yes. Of course she is. But she’s keeping it in. She’s taking her grief and using it to move forward, not be held back. She knows that if had been her who had died, then despite the pain, Pyrrha and Penny would have kept fighting. So Ruby has to do the same. As she leaves, she tells Oscar that the fact that he is where he is, trying despite his fears, says a lot about him. Once Ruby is gone, Ozpin points out to Oscar that while Ruby is a good Huntress in several ways, in others she is lacking. Ruby is like anyone, she has her quirks but she also has her faults. What she does possess is a spark, one that can incite hope into others, even in the darkest of times. But even so, it is hard on her. Will we see more of that later on? Well, only time will tell.

For now though, we cut back to Menagerie, but this time to the Albane Twins. Its from Adam, having given the Menagerie branch new orders. The brothers have summoned Ilia, confirming to her that Sienna has been killed as planned. So yes, the Albane’s and Ilia are in the know about this, Ilia even calling it a necessary sacrifice, even if she doesn’t exactly seem to be happy about it going off her body language. But regardless, Adam has taken over and the brothers tell Ilia the new orders, to kill the Belladonna family. You see, while the Menagerie citizens don’t know of Adam’s acension yet, once they do it’ll confirm what Ghira had said before and chances are, they’ll side with him. So in order to prevent that, he and Kali have to be killed. But Ilia’s job sin’t to pull the trigger, it’s to keep Blake away. You see, Adam doesn’t want Blake dead, he wants her brought straight to him. So while Ilia draws Blake away from the Belladonna home, the WF will make their move and assassinate the two.

Ilia is clearly shocked by the order, not wanting to hurt Blake. She also brings up that the people won’t exactly take their chieftain being murdered well. However the Albane’s assure her that the Faunus will come to understand and will be fine without a leader until Adam’s ascension is complete. It’s a necessary sacrifice after all, for what’s best for the Faunus. Ilia seems to accept it as she leaves, but going off her expressions, she’s not happy about it. Once she’s gone, Fennec does address that Ghira becoming a martyr could indeed cause problems. Bot Corsic says it’s a risk that has to be made as he replays Adam’s message. It’s clear that the extremist is becoming more unhinged, having to stop during the message to calm himself down. It’s something that the Albane’s notice and Fennec even questions if it’s really a good idea to follow him. But for now, Adam’s doing what they need, so they are willing to do so. The episode comes to an end as a Bat Faunus, Yuma, enters and confirms to the brothers that Ghira’s messenger to Mistral has been killed.

Review

This episode has received a lot of mixed reception. It’s this way because this episode has a lot of talking and not a lot of progress on the plot. Compare it to the previous four which have been fast paced and have been moving the story forward in different ways. Add to it feel like there was repeated info, like on Ilia, and yeah it’s clear why some were frustrated with this one, However that doesn’t make a bad episode in my opinion. This is a character development and reflection episode. Yeah these are slow and can feel kind of filler-y, but the are necessary. It lets us see where the characters are at this point in their development and get to see what’s coming at them next. I mean yeah it wouldn’t be a shock if the White Fang ambushed Blake and attached the Belladonnas, but their scene shows us that while they have control, there are issues like Adam’s growing instability and Ilia’s hesitance shows us more of her character. Blake talking lets us see where her head is at and as such, we understand her stance more and care more about her. Fight scenes and fast pacing are not all that makes a show You need a breath of fresh air once in a while, especially after an intense episode like last week’s. These episode set up the plot for the next beat, so no things DO happen, just as a set up so that we can get a payoff. So calling this episode bad because it was slower and exposition heavy is a reason to not have this one a favorite, but it’s not a bad episode due to it.

Okay, lets actually talk about things now. I’m not surprised that Blake and Sun are failing, again the Faunus are begin asked to risk their lives for a species who gave them Hell.. But it’s good to see that they are trying. Their talk was also really nice and lets us see how Blake has changed since the last volume. She’s not closed up or angry anymore She’s calm, friendly, and understanding of why the Faunus are reluctant to sign up. She’s also opening up finally, talking about her views of her teammates, Adam, and Ilia. It’s good to see that Sun’s words form the last volume have indeed helped her and that the difficulties, such as Ilia’s outburst two chapters ago, aren’t making her stress liek back in Volume 2. I’m gonna be honest, while I think that Miles and Kerry were right to write Blake how they did last volume under the circumstances, I did NOT like her in it. She was angry, hostile, ignoring the issue around her, and her running away felt like a degrading of her development. But again, I see why that was necessary and now that she finally understands that she doesn’t have to be alone and how she was selfish in hindsight, she’s calmed down and is mroe like her late V2/early V3 self again. Which I’m very happy about and it makes her likable again. It was necessary to let us see where she is as a character now and to see her using what Sun taught her to try with Ilia. So.. yeah I liked the Menagerie scenes.

Speaking of Menagerie, lets talk about the ending. As I said, the setup is necessary to both not come out of nowhere and to let us see where the bad guys are standing. Adam is becoming unhinged, but that’s not the point here. First, there’s Ilia. It’s clear to me that she’s not happy with where she is. She isn’t happy that Sienna had to be murdered. She isn’t happy about hurting Blake and her family. But regardless, she’s accepting it. She wants to help the Faunus. The greater good. And the greater good demands sacrifice and doing things that you don’t want to do. Think of how Pyrrha decided to become the Fall Maiden, despite what it would do to her, ultimately to save other people. But unlike Pyrrha, Ilia’s on a path of misguidance. She hates humanity. She wants them to suffer. She wants to make the Faunus’ position better, even if it’s through fear and bloodshed. If that means killing the Belladonna’s and hurting Blake, then it doesn’t matter how she herself feels. It’ll be done, for the Faunus. Now, can Ilia be redeemed? It’s possible. The fact that she has regret and is hesitant shows that she hasn’t lot her humanity yet. If Blake can get her to see that fear will do nothing for the Faunus, there’s a chance. But right now, Ilia is deep in the WF’s cult mindset and her own hatred, so it’s going to take q LOT of work. We can only hope for the best.

As for the orders, I’m not surprised. The Belladonna’s speak for equality and can cause Menagerie, the sanctuary of the Faunus, to turn on Adam. Add that to his hatred of Blake and his promise to destroy everything that she loves, and it’s no surprise at all. But even the Albane’s recognize that this is both risky and that Adam is becoming more and more unstable. They’re willing to go with it, but we do see that they aren’t blindly loyal. If it comes to a point where Adam becomes a liability, chances are they’ll turn on him. Whether that’ll amount to anything I can’t say, but it shows that Adam isn’t as in control as he thinks he is, For now though,t he odds are against Blake as the Albane’s have control of everything and they’ve ensued that neither Mistral nor Menagerie know about the current events. We’ll have to see what happens… well I’ve seen Chapter 8 so I know whats going to happen. But still, it’s setting up for something big and it’s hard to say whose coming out of this one unscathed,

Finally, lets talk Oscar and Ruby. This was THE big reason why I liked the episode. First there’s Oscar. We know that he’s scared about all of this, Volume 4 made that clear. But it’s good to see him talking to someone about it and how even though he’s accepted things, he’s still scared He’s new to all of this and he doesn’t know how to handle how he feels. It’s no surprise that it’s Ruby who he turns to about this. She’s so far accepted what’s come at her seemingly unscathed and has kept going without a change in her demeanor. How can she stills mile and think positively despite all that she’s gone through and what still awaits? Seeing Oscar talk about this with her allows us to see more of both characters and it’s good to see how the farmboy took Ruby’s words and seems to be inspired by her example.

Then there is Ruby herself. So there have been quite a few criticisms about her character, especially during Volume 4. How she never addressed anything about Penny and Pyrrha’s deaths. How she didn’t express any grief or anguish over the events of Volume 3. How she still feels like the same character and has felt very underdeveloped. I.. don’t agree. It always made sense to me why Ruby never addressed Penny and Pyrrha and why she kept up a positive demeanor. She wants to move forward. She wants to use the negativity that she felt form those events and use it to drive herself ahead. To do what they would do if it were the other way around and keep fighting to both help others and to prevent anyone form going through what she did. Yeah, maybe later on we’ll see it become too much for her, but right now isn’t the right time. Here, she was finally asked directly about it, hence why she opened up to Oscar about it. I imagine seeing how scared he is also provoked her into talking, in order to help him.

As for Ruby being underdeveloped… I wouldn’t say that. It’s more subtle and subdued compared to say Weiss. Lets put it this way, up until the end of V4, WBY were at a point where they were struggling to get over things and it kept them from moving forward. Ruby had already decided what to do with how she felt and to take that next step. There isn’t a lot of room for her to develop, at least not right now. But she HAS changed. In V4, she did express feeling guilty about endangering JNPR and dragging them into a dangerous situation. Her monologue in Chapter 12 also showed how she now understands that bad things happen. She understands that the world isn’t as ideal as she believed, but it doesn’t break her. it only furthered her resolve in becoming a Huntress But not just for idealistic reasons, she genuinely wants to help people because it is the right thing to do. Do I think that bottling up her fears and grief will get to her eventually? Probably. Do I think that Ruby is underdeveloped due to it? No. Ruby has always known what she wanted and has already accepted what’s happened to her. Shes; not the same girl in Volume 1 who desperately wanted to prove herself and was scared of making friends Shes stronger, has a more realistic view of the world, and is now trying to help others who are scared and nervous, lie Oscar. As Ozpin said, she is a spark of hope. A spark that spreads onto others. She inspired JNPR into following her because she kept fighting despite what she lost. She’s now inspired Oscar for similar reasons. Ruby is my favorite character ans this is why. No matter how bad things get and no matter how she feels, Ruby keeps fighting. She keeps moving forward. She is the embodiment of the show,and in turn Monty’s, message. And I am so happy to see this episode bring that into focus. Good work CRWBY!

Conclusion

This was a slower episode, but it was needed. I love character insight, what can I say? We get to see where Blake has grown, get Ruby to finally open up after so long, and get setup for the next part of the Menagerie plot. I don’t see where this episode was bad at all. Again, after four intense episode, the slower pace was necessary and again, we need the setup. Is this a ground-breaking chapter? No. it’s pretty plain, and I’m fine with it being that. It was a chance to breathe. and I thoroughly enjoyed it.