#the true victim of The Beatles break-up

[delightfullyatomicfest]

John interviewed in Melody Maker, 6 December 1969

Last week I spent some time with John, during which he told me the truth about the early days, the current relationships within The Beatles, and his consequent need for independence, and a host of other subjects. We begin with the group’s rise to fame, and John’s feelings about the way it was achieved. 

“In the beginning it was a constant fight between Brian [Epstein] and Paul on one side and me and George on the other,” he told me. “Brian put us in neat suits and shirts, and Paul was right behind him. I didn’t dig that, and I used to try and get George to rebel with me. I’d say to him, ‘Look, we don’t need these suits. Let’s chuck them out of the window.’ My rebellion was to have my tie loose, with the top button of my shirt undone, but Paul’d always come up to me and put it straight. 

“I saw a film the other night, the first television film we ever did. The Granada people came down to film us, and there we were in suits and everything - it just wasn’t us, and watching that film I knew that that was where we started to sell out. We had to do a lot of selling out then. Taking the MBE was a sell-out for me. You know, before you get an MBE the Palace writes to you to ask if you’re going to accept it, because you’re not supposed to reject it publicly and they sound you out first. 

“I chucked the letter in with all the fanmail, until Brian asked me if I had it. He and a few other people persuaded me that it was in our interests to take it, and it was hypocritical of me to accept it. But l’m glad, really, that I did accept it- because it meant that four years later I could use it to make a gesture. 

“We did manage to refuse all sorts of things that people don’t know about. For instance, we did the Royal Variety Show once, and we were asked discreetly to do it every year after that- but we always said, ‘Stuff it.’ So every year there was always a story in the newspapers saying ‘Why No Beatles For The Queen?’, which was pretty funny, because they didn’t know we’d refused it. 

“That show was a bad gig anyway. Everybody’s very nervous and uptight, and nobody performs well. The time we did do it, I cracked a joke onstage. I was fantastically nervous but I wanted to say something, just to rebel a bit, and that was the best I could do.” 

Was there, in fact, anything at all that he enjoyed about the years of Beatlemania? 

“Oh sure. I dug the fame, the power, the money, and playing to big crowds. Conquering America was the best thing. You see, we wanted to be bigger than Elvis - that was the main thing. At first we wanted to be Goffin & King, then we wanted to be Eddie Cochran, then we wanted to be Buddy Holly, and finally we arrived at wanting to be bigger than the biggest - and that was Elvis. 

“We reckoned we could make it because there were four of us. None of us would’ve made it alone, because Paul wasn’t quite strong enough, I didn’t have enough girl appeal, George was too quiet, and  Ringo was the drummer. But we thought that everyone would be able to dig at least one of us, and that’s how it turned out.” 

When John returned his MBE in protest against Britain’s involvement in the Vietnam and Biafra conflicts, he added, “And against ‘Cold Turkey’ slipping down the charts.” 

Does that mean that “Cold Turkey” is a specially important record for you? 

“Yes, because it’s MY record. When I wrote it I went to the other three Beatles and said, ‘Hey lads, I think I’ve written a new single.’ But they all said, ‘Ummm... arrrrrr. . . welll. . .’ because it was going to be my project, and so I thought, ‘Bugger you! I’ll put it out myself.’ 

That had happened once before, when I wanted to put ‘Revolution’ out as a single, but ‘Hey Jude’ went out instead.” 

Does that mean that Plastic Ono Band is, for John, a kind of alternative Beatles, particularly in view of Ringo’s refusal to go on tour again? 

“Yes, I suppose so. It’s a way of getting my music out to the public. I don’t bother so much about the others’ songs. For instance, I don’t give a damn about how ‘Something’ is doing in the charts - I watch ‘Come Together’, because that’s my song.” 

Can he ever conceive of a time when he wouldn’t want his songs to be on the same album as Paul’s or George’s? 

“I can see it happening. The Beatles can go on appealing to a wide audience as long as they make albums like Abbey Road, which have nice little folk songs like ‘Maxwell’s Silver Hammer’ for the grannies to dig. 

“About ‘Maxwell’s Hammer’ - well, all I can say is that I dig Engelbert Humperdinck as much as I dig John Cage, and I don’t listen to either of them,” he said with a marvellously relevant irrelevance. “I always wanted to have other people on our records, like the Stones and our other friends. But some of the others wanted to keep it tight- just like The Beatles, you know? But you wait - it’s starting to get looser, and there should be some fantastic sessions in the next few years. That’s what I wanted all along.” 

Going back to the past, did he enjoy doing The Beatles’ two films, Help! and A Hard Day's Night ? 

“I dug Hard Day's Night, although Alun Owen only came with us for two days before he wrote the script. He invented that word ‘grotty’ - did you know that? We thought the word was really weird, and George curled up with embarrassment every time he had to say it. But it’s part of the language now-you hear society people using it. Amazing. 

“Help! was a drag, because we didn’t know what was happening. In fact [Richard] Lester was a bit ahead of his time with the Batman thing, but we were on pot by then and all the best stuff is on the cutting-room floor, with us breaking up and falling about all over the place.” 

The present: has Allen Klein made an agreeable difference to Apple, which was bothering John the last time I spoke to him? 

“Oh, it’s really marvellous. People were very scared of him to start with - and some still are - but that’s probably good. He’s swept out all the rubbish and the deadwood, and stopped it being a resthouse for all the world’s hippies. He won’t let people order antique furniture for their offices and so forth; he’s really tightened it up and it’s starting to work a lot better. 

“He’s noticed that The Beatles had stopped selling records as they were doing around the world, and he found out that it was because the record company simply wasn’t bothering to push them. They thought that our records would sell themselves, and they were wrong. They don’t. If you can get to No 1 in Turkey, Greece, Switzerland and a couple of other countries then that’s as good financially as getting a No 1 in Britain - they don’t realise that. 

“Klein’s very good - he’s going to make sure they stop sitting on the records and actually release them. He’s even keeping tabs on me - I usually make mistakes about who to get in to survey my house, and I can spend a fortune without getting anything done. He’s making sure that I do it the right way.” 

Richard Williams 

Melody Maker, 6 December 1969. 

Source: https://archive.org/stream/TheHistoryOfRock1969/TheHistoryOfRock1969_djvu.txt

Quoted in Rolling Stone in December 1969: https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/beatles-splitting-maybe-says-john-182489/

Lots of this is quoted on the John Lennon website here: http://www.johnlennon.com/news/cold-turkey-plastic-ono-band/

[reflectismo]

Too Many People 

“This song was written a year or so after the Beatles break-up, at a time when John was firing missiles at me with his songs, and one or two of them were quite cruel. I don’t know what he hoped to gain, other than punching me in the face. I decided to turn my missiles on him too, but I’m not really that kind of a writer, so it was quite veiled.”

“The first verse and the chorus have pretty much all the anger I could muster, and when I did the vocal on the second line, “Too many reaching for a piece of cake”, I remember singing it as “Piss off cake”, which you can hear if you really listen to it. I was getting back at John, but my heart wasn’t really in it. This is me saying, “Too many people are sharing the party line. Too many people are grabbing for a slice of the cake, a piece of the pie.”

They were all references to people thinking that their own truth was the only truth, which was certainly what was coming from John. The thing is, so much of what they held to be truth was crap. War is over? Well no, it isn’t. But I get what you’re saying: war is over if you want it to be. So, if enough people want war to be over, it’ll be over. I’m not sure that’s entirely true, but it’s a great sentiment; it’s a nice thing to think and to say.

I’d been able to accept Yoko in the studio, sitting on a blanket in front of my amp. I’d worked hard to come to terms with that. But then when we broke up and everyone was now flailing around, John turned nasty. I don’t really understand why. Maybe because we grew up in Liverpool, where it was always good to get in the first punch of a fight.

The whole story in a nutshell is that we were having a meeting in 1969, and John showed up and said he’d met this guy Allen Klein, who had promised Yoko an exhibition in Syracuse, and then matter-of-factly John told us he was leaving the band. That’s basically how it happened. It was three to one because the other two went with John, so it was looking like Allen Klein was going to own our entire Beatles empire. I was not too keen on that idea.John actually had Allen Klein and Yoko in the room, suggesting lyrics during writing sessions. In his song How Do You Sleep? the line “The only thing you done was yesterday” was apparently Allen Klein’s suggestion, and John said, “Hey, great. Put that in.” I can see the laughs they had doing it, and I had to work very hard not to take it too seriously, but at the back of my mind I was thinking, “Wait a minute, all I ever did was Yesterday? I suppose that’s a funny pun, but all I ever did was Yesterday, Let It Be, The Long and Winding Road, Eleanor Rigby, Lady Madonna . . . — f*** you, John.”

I had to fight them for my bit of the Beatles and, in fact, for their bit of the Beatles, which many years later they realised and almost thanked me for. Nowadays people get it, but at the time I think the others felt they were the ones who were victims. Allen Klein already had a history with the Rolling Stones. I just thought, “Oy oy oy, no, this guy’s got such a bad reputation.” And good old John says, “Oh, if he’s that badly talked about, he can’t be all bad.” John had this kind of distorted thinking, which was amusing sometimes. But not when someone was going to take everything that John and George and Ringo and I owned and had worked really hard to get. A lot of hurt went down during that period in the early 1970s — them feeling hurt, me feeling hurt — but John being John, he was the one who would write a hurtful song. That was his bag.”

Excerpt from Paul’s new book, The Lyrics: 1956 to the Present, published in The Times (October 19, 2021)

[inspiteallthedanger]

Your reblog about Paul always reaching out and John not wanting to go back has just got me very in my feelings about them. I don't want to be all 'victim Paul' because he is a very rich successful dude who was no doubt a petty micromanaging asshole at times BUT there is something so sad to me about him being the one who seemed to love being a Beatle the most from his teens onwards and then being the one to be (seemingly?) frozen out of the gang throughout and after the break up. In the 70s he always seems to be on the outside of them (the others still work on each other's records and hang out socially together). Idk. Maybe i am just in a sad mood tonight. I think seeing all the bits in Get Back where Paul just looked SO HAPPY to be there made me the more sad for him after, even if I'm sure the others would argue they had good reasons.

I mean, that’s fair enough to feel sad. He did get treated pretty terribly by people he loved and trusted and he simply didn’t see it coming.

It’s interesting in that you can explain why they did it. I don’t think the things you point out are even the main reasons for it. You could point out that Paul could have backed down. You could point out that Paul was the one very keen to leave the band (in the sense of wanting it enough to sue over it). Or that he’d personally hurt all of them in various ways by that point. That’s all true, but it doesn’t change the fact that he loved the band, he didn’t want it to end, but they all turned on him. And then he also got the blame. It’s no wonder if couldn’t get out of bed for weeks, and that’s before you explore the particular reasons this was bad for Paul specifically.

The thing about The Divorce™️ is that I don’t think there is a villain. You can sit there and show how all of them got hurt terribly or how all of them did things that contributed to the end. But ultimately it damaged them all in different ways. I can see where all of them were coming from, but it’s still so sad that it ever got to that point.

[kreekey]

examples of people being racist toward yoko unintentionally: 1- calling her a weird stalker when they glorify/don't mind the many white fangirls who used to stalk the Beatles. 2- spreading misinformation that she lost custody of her daughter when in fact she'd won against her white crazy ex despite everything NOT in favour of her 3- bashing her for using John's glasses on the album cover she worked with John on, when they would've praised the artistry and bold statement if she was a white woman

Hey sorry I got around to answering your ask so late! You make a lot of really interesting points and I rarely hear people consider that. 

1 - reminds me of a Tumblr post I saw about an obsessive Beatlemaniac stalker and people were like “me” or “bless her” haha. Definitely different when they can interpret Yoko’s actions as “stalking”. And your point also reminds me of this quote, which isn’t about fangirls but still somewhat kinda related.

“Like Yoko when she met John, Linda was a divorced woman with a daughter when she met Paul mere months later.  There are stories similar to those about Yoko of her “scheming” to meet and marry Paul.  In the same way that Yoko is said to have joked prior to meeting him that she was “going to marry John Lennon,” Linda joked like any woman with a celebrity crush about how she was “going to marry Paul McCartney.”  (Bob Spitz notes both in his book The Beatles.  Guess which one he thought was conniving, and which one he thought was adorable.)... Was it the lucky fact that Linda got the scene a few months later than Yoko, or was it her whiteness?“ 

X

And I don’t have the answer if it was Yoko’s race that made her such a target, but it’s something interesting to consider and note. [And I’ll clarify this, I'm pretty sure Yoko didn't know about the Beatles until she became face to face with one, like she wasn't a fan who got lucky enough to meet her idol. In the David Frost interview and the 1971 Rolling Stone interview, John noted that Yoko didn't know him when they met, and Yoko Ono: Collector of Skies by Neil Beram says this on their meeting: "She was about as familiar with John's work as he was with hers. "I was an underground person, and such an artistic snob," she said later. "I knew about The Beatles, of course... but I wasn't interested in them." Just about the only thing she could recall about them was the drummer Ringo Starr's first name, because ringo means "apple" in Japanese.”] Also, and this definitely wasn’t stalking, but I posted a quote from Bob Spitz’ biography where he writes along the lines of

“[Linda] always insisted that she was going to marry Paul McCartney,” [Nat Weiss] recalls, “even before she met him”... It was no accident that Linda Eastman veered into his aura. She’d taken a few polite shots of Ringo and George before “zeroing in on Paul,”... Linda had come dressed to kill. Most days she played the typical rock chick, decked out in rumpled jeans and a T-shirt, with little or no makeup and unwashed hair. But today her hair had been carefully blow-dried so that it fell perfectly forward in wing points at her chin. And she was dressed in an expensive double-breasted striped barbershop jacket arranged just so over a sheer black sweater, with a miniskirt that flattered her gorgeous legs. When she squatted down – not so subtly, in what must have been a rehearsed gesture – in front of Paul for an intimate chat, he had trouble keeping his eyes from wandering below-decks...

, and some people commented that it appeared kinda predatory/pre-planned (reminds me of some criticism of Francie Schwartz’s meeting with Paul), but overall cute and everything. At the time I wondered how people would react if Yoko did that to John lol. No way of knowing, just a thought. And also, I know Yoko sent him Grapefruit and little instructions often, I think that’s usually what people cite as the stalking, that she tried to ensnare him with it. Again quoting Yoko Ono: Collector of Skies, 

For a time Yoko kept in touch with John by mailing him daily instructions-she called this Dance Event-that said things like "Dance" and "Watch all the lights until dawn" and "I'm a cloud. Watch for me in the sky." John found the instructions as perplexing as he found them intriguing.

And quoting this interview (in which she also asserts that “each and every occasion she visited John at Kenwood, it was at his invitation.”),

Despite the popular theory that Yoko was frantically inventing schemes to snare the wealthy Beatle, she was struggling with problems in her marriage [with Tony Cox] and also working hard to establish her career in the UK. Arriving in London in September 1966 to perform at the ‘Destruction In Art Symposium’, Yoko was already respected as an avant-garde artist and performer in New York, where she was allied to the Fluxus movement. She had a trained musical background, and had recently been involved in the improvisational music favoured by her peer group. She had also compiled a book of conceptual and instructional pieces called Grapefruit, and printed up a limited edition.

Yoko distributed copies to a number of influential people during 1966-’67. And John Lennon was one of the recipients. This has since been interpreted as one of various ruses on Yoko’s part to enchant Lennon.

She retorts: “There was a myth that I sent Grapefruit to him… how I wanted to trap him. It was a printed, published book. I had an orange carton of them, a lot of it. I would be giving it to critics. It was that sort of thing. He wasn’t the only one who got it.”

X

And by then, John had already eagerly offered to sponsor one of her shows, I think he was genuinely interested in her work. I don’t think John was actually threatened by these notes or felt he was harassed, especially since he made the jump to invite her over while his wife was away (and Yoko just thought it was a party!). He once referred to Yoko “someone that could turn me on to a million things” in the Lennon Remembers interview, he admired her art. And I know he said to Cyn that the letters were just junk from another one of those weird artists, but c’mon, what do you think John would say to his wife regarding the woman he’s romantically interested in? I don’t think it would’ve been fully truthful IMO, especially considering when John said that he nearly invited Yoko to India around that time because he liked her so.

2 is very true. Tony himself tried to make it seem like Yoko and John were crazy heroin druggies, and that's the case he tried to make (and that’s what he tried to tell Kyoko, that he was “saving” her from drug obsessed occultists). But, Yoko had gone “cold turkey” (ala the song) off heroin in 1969. This was 2 years before she won full custody in 1971. 

Although neither parent had been awarded sole custody of the child, Mr. Cox became increasingly reluctant to let Yoko and her new husband spend time with Kyoko, and finally refused to permit it at all. For a year before the Lennons came to America, they had been chasing Mr. Cox and Kyoko around Europe. In Majorca, Spain, the Lennons caught up with them and spirited Kyoko off to their hotel; but Mr. Cox called the police, and a Spanish court gave the child back to him. The incident added to his fear that the Lennons wanted to take her away from him for good.

Soon after the Lennons arrived in New York, they went to the United States Virgin Islands, to the same court where Yoko had been divorced, and that court awarded her permanent custody of her daughter.

X

But, Tony then took Kyoko to Texas (hiding/kidnapping her) which was in violation of that court order. Then more custody battle due to Tony’s stubbornness and evasiveness, but yes, Yoko did win custody then despite everything (even though John was very threatened by Tony lol, to the point he disallowed Yoko to visit him alone in order to discuss co-parenting when that was an option and suggested kidnapping Kyoko. But then again Tony was also kinda crazy. Seriously though IMO Yoko really tried gallantly to have Kyoko in her life, and the loss hurt her. To hear people try to spin it as Yoko being the monster in the situation through misinformation is unfortunate.)

3 is hypothetical, but I do speculate that if Yoko was white, the attitude toward her would’ve been different. Sean said, “It’s intense how racist the world is. If my mother had looked like Debbie Harry, I really think the reaction would have been different.” (X) Yoko’s former partner, Sam Havadtoy, also touched on this in an interview from 1990:

Q: ...No matter what Yoko does, she’s frequently the victim of a bad press. Any idea why?

Havadtoy: After John’s death, newspapers wrote that Yoko was this selfish person hoarding John’s memory, controlling it, not willing to share it with his fans. So after two years, she puts out 200 hours of film footage and a record and they say she’s exploiting John’s memory. She can’t win.

Q: Why not?

Havadtoy: Racism. If she were blond-haired and blue-eyed, nobody would have blamed her for breaking up the Beatles. They were the darlings of the universe; she was an outsider, an Oriental, an avant-garde artist--easy to pick on. When John married Yoko, the British press wrote: “At least he will have clean laundry.” And it’s still happening. America is infatuated with Japan-bashing. 

X

And I do think Season Of Glass was a memory thing, I posted about it here: X. 

And yes, I think that much of Yoko’s criticism/legacy was rooted in that initial reaction, which was pretty sexist and racist. But I think that influence can still be felt today, in ways that aren’t obvious. And like you said, unintentional. (Before anyone gets mad, if you dislike or hate Yoko that doesn't automatically make you racist lol. But the narrative built around her might’ve influenced your opinion of her, and the narrative was kinda rooted in a racist mentality. So that’s why and re-interpreting her in a fresh light is necessary).

[foyetsnewhitlist]

Perfect- Chapter 6

masterlist | ch. 5 | ch. 7

Word Count: 1,580 words

POV: There's more to Jordan Sawyer then Reid or Garcia know but you can’t fill them in.

(This chapter is in Hotch’s perspective)

“Knock knock!” I hear (y/n) say in a sing-song voice.

“Come in,” I say.

“Do you have a minute? I have something I would like to talk to you about, it’s quite urgent.” They tell me, slipping into a chair.

“Yes of course. Have a seat and fill me in.”

“When I joined the team, I wasn’t completely honest. In the past, I was forced to do some.. pretty terrible things. However, I can assure you that I have hidden all evidence and turned my life around.” They say. At these words, my face remains neutral, although I am shocked on the inside.

“What kinds of things?” I ask cautiously.

“Oh, um, nothing serious, I just- I…” I stopped paying attention while they began to explain the things they’ve done. What they don’t know is that I know the truth about them. I know their true identity is Jordan Sawyer and who Jordan's parents are as well as where they live. I made special requests to get Jordan into the BAU, although they didn’t get a single question right on the test. They studied Creative Writing in college for crying out loud. Did they think I was that dumb? What Jordan doesn’t know is that they were added to the team as a way to investigate them. No one else on the team knows and it must stay that way until I get some intel worthy enough of-

“Sir?” Jordan says politely while interrupting my train of thought.

“Yes, sorry, I was just taking in all of this information.”

“So, you aren’t mad that I stole something from the mall when I was a teenager and had minor charges on my record?”

“No of course not. Thank you for bringing this to my attention.”

“Of course sir. It had been weighing down on me since I started. I was just too intimidated by you to speak up immediately. I wanted to be the first to tell you because I overheard Reid and Garcia talking about doing a deep dive into my past. I don’t think they like me, and they sure don’t trust me. Again I am so-” there's a sudden rap on my door three times, waiting to be invited in. “Come in.” I finally say, meeting Reid’s eye from inside my office.

“Hotch we have something important to tell you!“ Garcia and Reid blurt out in unison.

“We were just talking about you guys.” The door opens to reveal Jordan, sitting on a chair with their hands folded over their lap.

“So, (y/n) had some pretty interesting things to tell me about the two of you,” I say, emotionless in an attempt to make them think I’m on Jordan's side.

“What do you mean?” Garcia asks shakily.

“They’re lying Hotch,” Reid shouts, I can practically hear his heart pounding in his chest.

“So you mean to tell me you didn’t go snooping around (y/n)’s past?”

“Well, yes, but no, that’s not what-” Garcia fumbles

“I told you, sir, they don’t trust me!” Jordan interrupts.

“Thank you for telling me (y/n), you can go now. I’ll deal with them in private.”

“Yes sir.” Jordan stands up, smoothing their hands over their slacks. Jordan walks out of the room, smiling at Garcia and Reid as they leave. I can see Jordan's mouth move on her way out but can’t quite make out what they said.

“Both of you, sit. (Y/n) had some interesting things to share with me, but I would like your side before I make any decisions.” I say to them in a no-nonsense tone. I hate having to treat my team like this but they don’t know why I’m doing this. Not yet at least.

“Reid had his doubts and asked me to do a deep dive on (y/n) because we’re a family, and we need to make sure no one bad is part of it.” Garcia begins to explain.

“Did you find anything?” I question, cutting Garcia off.

“Yes!” Garcia exclaims “Their real name is Jordan Sawyer, they went to Shaw University, which doesn’t even have any classes to become an FBI agent, and they almost failed all of their tests and barely got into college, their parents are alive and well and live in North Carolina, not New Jersey, and, well…” Garcia trails off.

“Well, what?” I prodded.

“They’ve.. done some pretty gruesome things.” Reid joins in.

“If you would let me grab my laptop I could show you, I don’t feel comfortable saying any of it,” Garcia says.

“No. I’ve heard enough.” I shake my head and lean back in my chair.

“Hotch, you have to believe us! We wouldn’t tell you if it wasn’t true! Please let us show you!” Reid begs of me. But I must keep the facade going.

“Get out. We have a new case, go gather the team-up. (Y/n) included. And do NOT spread this misinformation to the rest of the team. If you go snooping any further I will have to revoke your badges. Do the right thing and stay out of it.” I order them, whilst being dangerously calm.

“Yes sir.” Garcia and Reid say in unison, practically running out of my office. Once they are out I open my drawer and pull out my journal to document my thoughts as well as a classified file to review. It’s Jordan’s file. What the team doesn't know is that Jordan is a heinous killer with no remorse, one of the worst killers in history. Worse than the Zodiac and Ted Bundy himself. What sets them apart is that Jordan has a team of hundreds of people behind them cleaning up all evidence. After each mission, Jordan gains a new identity and consumes a new life. From what we know, Jordan has had 17 different identities and is only 26 years old. They complete their mission within weeks for the most part, despite not being bright in school. They are well versed in every criminal act you could think of. To my knowledge, Jordan’s next mission is to destroy the entire BAU by murdering every person in the FBI and taking over the building. That’s why I made arrangements for them to be put on the team so I can watch and profile them. I’m not surprised Reid was the first one to catch on, but this is NOT good. Or maybe it is? I’m not sure yet. Should I tell the team or keep working the case on my own? I guess I’ll have to make that decision soon.

“Hey boss man, we’re waiting for you in the conference room. Garcia is ready to go over the case.” Rossi says from outside of my door making me stop in my tracks completely. I follow Rossi to the conference room.

“Perfect, now everyone is here. We have a case in our own backyard. Dale City, to be exact. Just 12 miles away. The unsub seems to be breaking into homes to steal things and well…” Garcia clicks her button and turns our attention to the screen behind her.

“These were taken at the last three crime scenes.”

“Based on these pictures our unsub seems to be meticulous and precise with what they’re doing,” JJ states,

“Given how organized the crime scenes are one may conclude that our unsub is suffering from a severe case of OCD.” Reid theorizes.

“They don’t seem to be the dominant type either,” Emily claims. I hardly hear what anyone is even saying. I'm hyper fixated on Jordan and observing their behavior. For some reason, they’ve been checking their watch every 5 minutes and their phone every few seconds.

“Jo- (y/n), is everything okay?” I almost blew my cover over such a simple question.

“Yes, I’m good boss. There were just some minor issues with my dog sitter but I can deal with it later.”

“You have a dog?” Morgan asks excitedly.

“Yes! I have a-” I cut Jordan off, “Wheels up in 30. Let’s get to the crime scenes before another one appears.”

“The cars are outside waiting on your arrival, sir.” Garcia quickly states in a worried tone. I hope her or Reid didn’t hear me almost give away the newbie's true identity.

“Morgan, Emily you two go to the most recent crime scene and see what you can find out. JJ, I want you to go to the local police department and gather as much information as you can and coordinate with Garcia. Reid, (y/n), you two go to the first and second crime scenes and see if you can find any patterns. Rossi and I will go speak with the latest victims' parents and get them into custody in case they are in danger. We will bring their parents back to the station and coordinate with JJ.”

“Okay, Hotch” Emily, Morgan, and JJ said.

“Uh- um okay sir,” Reid responds while being visibly confused.

“I’ll meet everyone outside in 5.” Everyone leaves and boards the cars and I pull out my journal once more to add that I decided to pair up Jordan and Reid to see if Reid catches onto anything and maybe finds out any information on them. He’s one of the best profilers I know. If anyone can secretly uncover someone's past behind my back, it’ll be him. Okay, I have to go meet up with the team before things get suspicious. I'll keep this journal updated as I gather new information. Time to go catch an unsub.

Tag List: @omgbigfluff @less-intelligent-spencerreid @louiscardinalsshi123 @ariccio50

My Editor: @the-beatles-are-better

[britishchick09]

help! livewatch

to kick off my beatleversary, we’re taking a look at my fellow beatle fan (aka my dad)’s fave movie from the lads... help! i’ve only seen 15 minutes of ‘a hard day’s night’ because it was a bit boring and ‘yellow submarine’ was fantastic, so i hope this falls right in between. let’s go get some help!

...why are we back to the end of return of the jedi?

sacrifice WHAT’S HAPPENING

OMG the sacrificial ring!!! :o

wait does ringo have it?

people: “ring ring ring ring!!!” john in ob-la-di-ob-da-da anthology: “a ring!”

and it goes right into ‘help!’ clever one lads ;)

the movie is in color yet this is in black and white like it’s on tv. coolio! :D

‘help’ is a bop! :D

you’d think the credits would play over them but nope :/

eyyy called it! :D

CALLED IT AGAIN!!!!!!

♫ won’t you pleeeeeease please

me!!! :D 

this guy keeps throwing darts on the screen and it’s so weird:

OMG lester like phil lester???? ;o

tribe chief: “we need to find the ring!” guy: “has nobody looked in the washbasin?” lol :D

so the guy is only finding the ring for himself and not the tribe?

cool they live at 221b! :D

lady: “still the same they was before they was!” grammar much?

pretty house! :D

JOHN YOU SNEAKY LIL BISH

he’s reading it in a hole how nice :)

george is using fake teeth to mow a lawn inside their house how epic :D

and paul is playing the organ! :D

ringo: “me finger’s stuck in the door” no rongles it’s “I HAVE THE DOOR IN ME FINGERS!!!!’

OMG RINGO SCREAM LET GO LADY!!!!!

also his hair is a hot mess

john: “that’s immature of you, son” says you

ringo thought the lady thought his fingie was a sandwhich lol :D

ooh light :o

NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! :o

ringo just fell off the bed lol :D

john sleeps in the hole lol :D

why does john have a phone in the hole lol

he’s calling george and paul who are in the other rooms WHY CAN’T YOU JUST TALK TO THEM

and all he did was say ‘hello’ JOHN YOU DORK

the guy pronounced beatle ‘bee-ah-tle’ lol :D

guy: “they all look the same!” me before a year ago today

yo like harrods the store? :o

they keep saying ‘shilling’ why

ooh title!

groovy!

ringo to john: “what was it that first attracted you to me?” WOAH LENNSTARR???? john: “you’re very polite aren’t you?” yes that’s true thanks for not making it sarcastic :)

OMG MAGNETS!!!

john: “ah HA HA!!!!” op there’s the sarcastic bish!

two lads walking 0.2 feet apart in a 2 BECAUSE THEY’RE NOT BI!!!!

why are ringo and john saying the same things at the same time chaotic lads!

john: “what’s the matter?” ringo: “oh there’s no matter. OW OW OWWW!!!!” i think there’s a matter....

‘65 beatle girls: *swoon!!*

also don’t tell the lady she sucked up the wrong hand...

WELL THAT ESCALATED FAST

george keeps going ‘oh ho ho ho!!!” and i love it :D

they’re playing ‘you’re gonna lose that girl!’ :D

and it goes from not as clear film audio to clear recording audio which is weird

cool shot! :D (and beatle girls probably thought this was so hot)

ringo cig WHY

they have to do it again WHY IT WAS PERFECT

awww ringo’s dancing a bit :)

OMG :o

john: “you naughty boy!” don’t say that plz why :/

OMG THIS GUY’S GONNA CHAINSHAW WINGO :(((((

lady: “please flee!!!” ringo: “ok” lol :D

indian music! (you think this is how george started liking it?)

they’re seeking enlightenment! :D

ringo: “does this ring mean anything from you?” british guy: “freemason?” senpai wants your number

george is asking everyone if the blood rushes to them lol :D

OMG SOMEONE’S KILLING EVERYONE

guy: “could you pick this up for me please?” *knocks the chef out rapunzel style* lol :D

awww the lady wants to save ringo!

lady: “that’s the sacred ring!” paul: “say no more!” lady: “i can say no more!” lol :D

awww ringo is john’s best friend :)

oh no they have until 5 until a new victim is closing! :o

why is there a ticket in the soup

ringo: “that’s a season ticket!” john: “i love me a good seasoning” *puts it back in his soup* lol :D

ringo: “i got it from this eastern bird... lady” ;)

ringo can’t take the ring off!

george *about his soup*: “there’s footprints in here!” wut

THINGS ESCALATE SO QUICKLY IN THIS MOVIE!!!!

jeweler: “some problems are matrimonial” john: “eh heh heh” ;)

john wtf

the ring can’t be cut and it’s breaking the tools like rapunzel’s hair! :o

john: “you’re a failure, aren’t you scientist?” shut up plz

scientist: “voltage, up, up!” paul: “up up up up!!!” awww :)

scientist: “made in america you see!” john: “this is english” lol :D

john: “how do you feel?” ringo: “i used to use me hands” john: “he used to use his hands” lol :D

OMG I REMEMBER SEEING THAT WHEN I WAS A BABY FAN!!!!!

paulie likes it ;)

oh no the lady has a gun!! :o

the ‘brain drain’!

beatle logic: sing a song back home ALTHOUGH THEY SHOULD PROBABLY BE TAKING CARE OF THIS SERIOUS RING PROBLEM????

it’s ‘you’ve got to hide your love away’ so that’s cool :D

she’s not impressed :/ (but i am!)

john said the lady had ‘filthy eastern ways’ SHUT UP JAWN >:(

the lady wants ringo to shrink his fingo! :o

wait what

ooh intermission! :D

this is so random lol :D

PART 2 WAS JUST A LADY WASHING SOMEONE WTF WHY

that was random af and very family guy!

ringo’s allergic to penicillin like my mom! :D

OMG THE BAD GUYS ARE ATTACKING!!!!!!

my fave show! :D

JOHN IS ATTACKING IN THE HOLE ATTACK IN THE HOLE!!!!!

aww finger guns! :D

ringo’s crying at his suit having red all over :(

WHY IS THIS FIGHT SO CHAOTIC

ringo: “how can i get the ring off with me hands held up?” lol :D

ringo has a voice crack when he said ‘look!” :D

JOHN GON KILL U!!!!

john’s ‘get out’ is so good omg :D

oh no the scientists really want the ring now! :o

they’re in the snow for ‘ticket to ride’!!! :D

me lol :D

what a giffable shot! :D

:D

ooh music notes! :D

penny lane much? ;)

oh no the guys are watching them... ;)

the lads are saying ‘oh ho ho ho’ WHAT HIGH DORKS

OMG RINGO!!!!!!

he says ‘ouch ouch ouch’ when rolling down the snow lol :D

*OH HO HOS INTENSIFY*

evil snowman... >:)

the bad guys have a curling bomb and one of them keeps saying everything he does lol :D

george: “hey it’s thingie! a fiendish thingie!!” lol :D

guy: “useless! what rubbish!” *THINGIE BLOWS UP A SECOND LATER* lol :D

snowman battle! :o

guy: “in the name of kindness, stop! stop!” the lads: *don’t stop*

HOLY FRICK THEY’RE BEING FLAMETHROWERED

paul running into john at the train station... ;)

ooh sherlock holmes reference!!!!!! :D

:)

ringo: “they have a different religion... i think” lol :D

the scotland guy is mimicking ringo and ringo’s not impressed lol :D

why are the bad guys playing indian music in the phone booth WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE

999 is 911! :D

OMG IT’S MY FAVE HELP SONG ‘I NEED YOU’!!!!! :D

wowza editing in person! :o

paperback writer much? ;)

:D

‘she’s a woman’ from past masters is playing on a walkie talkie! :D

the chief thinks it’s shocking and hates it lol

chief: “take this hastily scribbled note hastily!” lol :D

motorcycle go brrrr

guy: “they shall not pass!” gandolf who

‘the night before is playing!!!! :D

:D

what a cool shot!

‘she’s a woman’ interrupted it no!!!! :/

OMG TNT

good ‘night before’ is back! :D

the lip syncing was kinda off tho

the bad guys are in camoflage and it’s like we’re in ww1!

the song ends ON A BIG AF EXPLOSION WTF

OMG THEY’RE USING MACHINE GUNS THIS IS SERIOUSLY WW1 NOW TH  FRICK

i came here to watch beatles NOT THE WAR

oh no john fell! :o

ringo: “get up johnny! get up for me, baby!” lennstarr tho ;)

so many explosions I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS

guy: “MISSED you naughty boys!!!” ...plz dont call them that :/

victory music is playing did the bad guys win???

wtf is going on THIS ISN’T THE GREAT WAR IT’S THE HELP! WAR

buckingham??? :0

i swear if john is in nothing but a sheet-

not your lockie’s palace ;)

ringo: “IT APPEARS i need one card. IT APPEARS i need to chuck one in” IT APPEARS that you need to emphasize that for some reason...

them playing cards is so domestic :)

ringo: “i don’t just use my drumstick for drummin’” paul: “well what else is it for?” ringo: “i use it!” OH GOD WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT RONGLES

john: “we’re risking our lives for the most useless member!” is that fingo or ringo

ringo: “let that be an end to it, END TO IT” same ringo

omg the palace is haunted! :o

OMG QUEEN REFERENCE???

OMG SOMEONE’S SHOOTING

the guards are tripping over each other!

the scientists are the guards!!!! :o

they made time slow down! :o

someone sprayed that red paint and the lads yeeted out of there! :o

they’re in a bar DRINK DRINK DRINK EVERYBOOODY!!!!”

paul to ringo: “you’re a rat underneath aren’t you?” OHHHHH ROASTED!!!!!

paul used to wink at paul... mcharrison has sailed! :D

OMG TIGER ROAR WHAT

ringo’s alone with it no! :o

thanks for the clarification?

lady to ringo: “don’t move!” ringo to ‘a tiger’: “don’t move, that’s what she said!” lol :D

why is she whistling the 9th symphony

they’re all singing it to make the tiger calm and ringo’s like “ok!!”

A WHOLE CROWD IS SINGING IT WHAT

this is legit abbey road! :o

ooh bahamas!

i love how george is taking pics of everything :D

i didn’t think cameras sounded like static back then tho...

oh no THE CHIEF IS THERE TOO!!!!! :o

BOI WHY DID HE SLAP A GUY

no the scientist is there too! :o

prepare for the beatle bahamas battle lads...

idk what pc is but they all the soldiers all named that

ooh ‘another girl’! :D

i heard it was cold when the lads filmed the movie so rip to their arms :/

CAKE

so much purple! :o

hey john! :D

george: “let’s play a game it’s called peep peep peep peep-“ yup THEY SO INCREDIBLY HIIIGHHHH

THEY’RE SAYING ‘OH HO HO HO’ AGAIN WHY

the lady said ringo’s getting ‘disembowled’ and john’s like “keeps ye busy eh?” like the lil’ bish he is

ringo: “i don’t want to knock anyone’s religion but-” *runs away*

bike lads! :D

they keep saying ‘let’s go back and get ‘em!” yep they hiiiigh

a triumphant one of ‘i’m so happy to dance with you’ is playing!! :D

OMG ONE OF THE BAD GUYS IS SKYDIVING

wtf bro

paul’s explaining things cryptically and george is like ‘why tho’

:D

paul: “there’s the temple and that swimming pool and... i’m lost” lol :D

ringo: “read on” B)

OMG ISSA TRAP!!!!

george: “typical!” lol :D

WHAT DOES ‘KAILI’ MEAN

RINGO GO UNDER!!

omg he’s in the orange blanket! :o

ringo: “HEEEEELP!!! help me!!!” title drop roll credits! :D

dere he is! :D

i remember seeing that before i was a fan and thinking it wasn’t beatles lol

john: “he’s got a plan” paul: “a really famous plan!” john: “a plan superintendent...” superintendent: “you see i’ve got a plan!” ...i think he has a plan

:D

OMG ‘HARD DAY’S NIGHT’ IS PLAYING SO TRIUMPHANTLY

the plan is baseball?

#spon

smoooosh

everyone’s calling for ringo and george is beating his chest lol :D

THE SCIENTISTS GOT WINGO NOOOOOO

scientist: “dust in the generator. gets everywhere” and it’s rough & coarse too...

the lady is saving ringo!

the scientist doesn’t need the ring now that he has...’nobel prize juice’?”

they keep saying ‘eastern’ as the language.... :/

ringo: “i can’t swim!” lady: “what do you mean you can’t swim?” he means HE CAN’T SWIM LADY!!!!

oh no THE SACRIFICE!!!!

the sacrifice involves a horrible, inaccessible name... voldemort?

he’s free!!!! :D

ringo: “i don’t subscribe to your religion!” lol :D

‘help’ is playing again! :D

and the chief has the ring now... >:)

;D

...what does that have to do with anything tho

and with the trippy credits came the end of the movie! the only help i’ll be needing is why it was more weird than yellow sub but i had such a fun time with it (especially the snow scene and ‘i need you’)! what a great movie! :D

[karliesbuzzcut]

When art really speaks to you, pt. 2: probably just a coincidence but idk

Disclaimer: all these theories are rabbit holes on their own, so trying to explain them in a couple of paragraphs is, automatically, doing them a disservice. Especially since I’m only going to be primarily addressing the part of the theory that focuses on the artist communicating with their public through their work.

Since I’ve already dedicated paragraphs to the introduction in part 1, let’s just jump into it.

Leonardo Da Vinci’s fuckton of theories.

Let’s start with the daddy of all conspiracies. After all, not many can gloat about their reachings becoming a movie starring Tom Hanks.

The thing with Da Vinci’s conspiracies is that there are so many of them, and they range from “maybe this is also a painting made by Da Vinci but he wasn’t credited because of reasons” to ALIENS. Which, I think, shows how different our interpretations of art can be, and how much it depends on an already established worldview.

But the most interesting part isn’t the conclusions, but how people look for clues. For example, just like people say Taylor Swift is obsessed with numbers or oranges (depending who you ask, I guess), Da Vinci was supposedly a big fan of reflections. So, if you want to decode his paintings you must mirror them... and then move then a little bit... there you go, you’ve just found yourself an alien...! Or a daemon...! Or someone wearing a funny hat! And that’s totally what he wanted us to find, right? Why else would he had shown any sort of interest in reflections if he didn’t want us to reflect everything!!

Shakespeare is an illusion... kinda, but yeah.

Personally, I think Kaylors would love to dig into this one. Sure, it doesn’t have many lesbians playing political spies. But it does involve a lot of literature analysis. Just like Kaylors don’t think a heterosexual woman could’ve written Taylor’s songs; some people (referred as anti-Stratfordians, thank you very much) don’t think someone from a lower class could’ve written Shakespeare’s plays. 

Here’s the tea... the very cold tea: because Shakespeare was the son of a glover, anti-Stratfordians say he couldn’t have had the knowledge to write his plays. They, instead, come up with a list of “more suitable” writers that could’ve worked together. But they decided to keep their identities a secret because being a play writer, at that time, wasn’t respectable. Here, we will start noticing a trend with Conspiracy Theories: society, as a whole, can’t handle the truth, only a selected few. That’s where Francis Bacon comes in.

Francis Bacon was a very smart dude. He, also, worked for the state - giving him the credentials to be worthy of writing Shakespeare calibre plays. And also, also, he developed a method to conceal messages in the presentation of a text. To be able to do this, you would need to use two typefaces. Guess what has more than one typeface? Shakespeare’s plays.

I have to say - while I don’t believe either theory we have seen, they are somewhat understandable. We barely know anything about Shakespeare and Da Vinci beyond their work, so it’s normal that people are trying to figure out who they were; what did they believed in; where did they get all of their knowledge. We like theorising about the answers to these questions, knowing we’ll never get a confirmed truth. Not so the case with our next conspiracy...

Lewis Carroll was Jack the Ripper - someone had to be, right?

Now, allow me to fangirl all over this one. It combines my interests for conspiracy theories, true crime and pop-culture.

I’m assuming everyone here knows about Jack the Ripper: a serial killer who murdered at least 5 people (mainly prostitutes) in London, between the years 1888 and 1891. Well, someone looked at this and thought “you know what this murder-mystery is missing? Famous people”. Well, this theory says that the author of Alice in Wonderland did it He was the only celebrity living nearby at the time of the killings, so... 🤷‍♀️

This becomes a case of “I have already made up my mind about this issue, so I’m going to go ahead and search for proof that confirms it”. Authors and, now, internet sleuths went through his books, selected this random-ass excerpt from the nursery version of Alice and decided it was an anagram. And a crappy one at that. Supposedly, if you arrange the letters you get a detailed and gruesome confession. You, however, have to take away some letter and add others. Listen, I’m not an English major, but I’ve heard that’s cheating.

This theory also has that characteristic we mentioned: the “I don’t want to admit it out loud, so I’m going to come up with convoluted ways for my audience to figure it out” - which almost borders on psychotic behaviour. But at least it, somewhat, works with the serial killer narrative, you know? Not very much with Taylor, a woman who simply wants to chill with her girlfriend.

The moon landing was fake and directed by Stanley Kubrick.

I’m not going to dig into the moon landing conspiracy, this post is going to be long enough already. Just know that, when the USA government was planning to fake the whole thing, they had just watched ‘2001: A Space Odyssey’ and they were all like “that’s so cool! That’s how we want our fake moon landing to look!” So they contacted its director, Kubrick.

According to the theory, Kubrick felt really guilty afterwards but he couldn’t say anything about it because he signed an NDA? it would be dangerous, I guess. So he did the same thing Taylor would do decades later: he “spelled it out” for us on his work, under the excuse of “I didn’t explicitly said it, did I? My most intelligent and attractive fans just happened to figure it out for themselves”. 

The movie ‘The Shinning’ has been analysed to shreds. Think ‘Look What You Made Me Do’ music video, but 2 hours and 26 minutes instead. There are many theories about its underlying theme, but we’re only focusing on the moon landing one. The biggest piece of evidence, according to believers, comes from that famous scene in the hallway. Basically, the kid, Danny, is on the floor playing and wearing an Apollo 11 sweater. He stands up = the rocket launches. He walks to Room N.237. Which is almost an anagram for MOON - but actually, a perfect anagram for MORON - I didn’t come up with that joke, I’m just sharing it. Anyway. In the book, the room number is 217 but Kubrick changed it to 237 because there are 237,000 miles between the Earth and the Moon... except that’s not exactly true, but this is their Kissgate, you see? 

“Paul is Dead” aka “the granddaddy of Kaylor is Real”

Now, this is THE conspiracy theory. Kaylors would love to have the amount of evidence this theory has. Give them 50 years, they’ll get there. 

Our story starts in 1966, Paul McCartney dies in a car accident. The British Government panics, “this will drive our teenagers into a massive suicide!” So they cover it up. They find this guy who looks like Paul and hire him to replace the original. 

You might’ve only heard about those stores where pop-stars get their beards. But there’s also a branch that focuses on celebrity look-a-likes.

The rest of The Beatles went along with it (because that’s how these artists seem to operate, they’re always the victims of their circumstances) but they did not like it. So - you guessed it - they used their music, artwork, photo-shoots, etc. to communicate the truth. Faux-Paul might’ve felt a bit awkward about it, but he’s a nice chap and let the other guys work through their grief. 

Kaylors might have agreed on blue being the colour of breaks up and yellow is for Karlie-Sunshine; but the Paul-truthers concluded white is the colour of heaven, jeans are for gravediggers and black for morticians... oh! And not wearing shoes means you’re dead. Taylor being near a door symbolises her leaving the closet; Paul being near an open trunk symbolises him being in a coffin. Is the letter K, for Karlie, surrounding Taylor? Well, there’s a 28IF in the plaques of a car, for Paul being 28 IF he hadn’t died. People hear a phantasmagorical “she” in ‘Call It What You Want’; just like people heard “I buried Paul” in ‘Strawberry Fields Forever’.

If you have never looked up this theory, I seriously recommend it. There are so many parallels with Kaylor. Here’s a 30 minute video, if you’re interested. It summarises the theory neatly while discussing the effects that these, seemingly innocent, conspiracies have on the way we absorb information.

Paul might be dead but 2pac is very much alive.

If I haven’t made it clear by now, I think it’s very deceptive to use a musician’s lyrics to back up your alternate version of events. As confessional as these verses can be, they’re still a form of art. Which, in terms of music lyrics, they need to follow certain parameters, as well as a desired sound. And, as many other forms of art, they might focus a bit more on transmitting a feeling, rather than an accurate portrayal of reality.

Why am I stopping to say all of this now? Well, because this specific theory relies a lot on Tupac’s lyrics.

A bit of context: In 1996, Tupac Shakur was shot 4 times while at a stoplight. He died from his injuries days later. While there are theories, to this day, no one knows who killed him. Unless you believe one of those theories, which claims no one did.

The believers of this theory cite Tupac’s lyrics to argue that he was explicitly telling his fans that he was going to fake his own death. Here are two examples:

I’ve been shot and murdered, can’t tell you how it happened word for word but best believe that n*****’ gonna get what they deserve. - Richie Rich’s N***** Done Change

I heard rumours that I died murdered in cold blood, traumatised pictures of me in my final states — you know mama cried. But that was fiction, some coward got the story twisted - Aint’ Hard 2 Find

Just like anti-Kaylors don’t necessarily oppose the idea of Taylor being gay; I bet the “antis” of this theory aren’t happy Tupac died and weren’t against his existence on the first place. It’s more of an argument about confusing your feelings with facts, just because they can be more comforting or exciting.

“Avril Lavigne is dead”... or “every artist you think is alive is, actually, dead and, the ones you think are dead, aren’t” I guess.

After everything we have seen, this one isn’t that interesting. The real Avril died in 2003, right after her first album. Her record label bought a new one. Proof? She says ‘dead’ in ‘My Happy Ending’, blah, blah. A poor man’s “Paul is Dead”.

I added it, mainly for the lulz, after the last entry, I needed them. But also because it all started with a blog. What’s hilarious is that the guy who created it admitted he only did it to show how gullible people are but, at that point, he had already convinced people about. The conspirators didn’t need him anymore. So they discarded him but not the Theory... which just reminds me a little too much of how TCG, HBH, Jennyboom &co. have been excommunicated from the Church of Kaylor.

Beyonce and Jay Z are members of the sexy sexy Illuminati.

I did not save the best for last. But maybe I’m just biased because the Illuminati theory bores me to death. However, if you allow me a bit of social criticism... remember how the Shakespeare Conspiracy started because a bunch of classicist people didn’t believe a lower class citizen could write such good plays? I think this one has a bit of that. I’d bet my life that this one started when a bunch of white dudes got super uncomfortable by black people being so talented and earning their successful.

What this Conspiracy shows, too, is the amplifying effect the internet has had on the proliferation of such theories. Most of the conspiracies I’ve mentioned were huge... but how were you supposed to communicate your ideas and add to the old ones, before the internet? You could publish a book. Talk about it at parties. And, at some point, there were internet forums but, still, you can’t compare that to how widespread Social Media is nowadays. 

Today, we can watch someone ramble for 2 hours on YouTube about how Beyonce looks like a robot if you watch Single Ladies in reverse; read someone’s dissertation of ‘Apeshit’; or spend all night looking at those pictures where someone has drawn a red circle around anything that resembles a triangle. 

It might look like a lot of evidence but that’s only because there are a lot of people very attached to this theory. Wanting - for whatever reason - for it to be true (perhaps because it would confirm that their fears about the world were well founded). And all those dozens or hundredths of people were working together to form as many patterns as possible.

Unfortunately we are going to keep talking about the Illuminati in Part 3 but also about Taylor, so that should be nice. Because - to the surprise of absolutely no one - there’s a bunch of people who also think they understand Taylor better than the rest. That they have figured out her secret codes and her ultimate message. Only, not all of those theories involve lesbian supermodels, so they aren’t as popular on Tumblr.

[swearronchanel]

9.06

I’m a day late but I have thoughts

- Fred is truly a gem lol but another garden seems redundant

- Trixie actually working!

- Why did they bring back Val’s really bitchy cousin lol, I’m sure she has others on the block😂

- Also Mcnulty seems eager to come back, nice boy

- Sister Hilda tryna stay positive when she knows the truth, bless her

- Also the heat 2000 feels just as far away when you say it now at days too😂

- Save Nonnatus House 1k65/2k20

- I was always wondering when the Turners would tell Angela she’s adopted. I think it should be soon, she deserves to know & I hope we see it

- Little girls always wanna be the same😭 that’s true, but I hope that they acknowledge the fact that it’s a different situation and Angela won’t ever have the struggle May is about to have

- “Maybe they’ll move and carry on like before” Trixie in tears makes me wanna cry😭 she’s literally already been through this. I wish we saw more moments where she reflects as the only OG midwife left (yea Shelagh is technically too but you already know all the issues)

- Also Trixie looks damn great

- What will midwives the do!? We shall see

- Oh so Val has a dad? Did he pass? Give us more info lol

- I also feel like it’s been spring/summer this whole series lol

- Ok but the suddenly alive lost parent trope is pretty soap-y/melodramatic but go on,

- Shelagh stress smoking is a big ass mood but also stop you have weak lungs sis

- Reggie always have great ideas

- Chugging castor oil uh I rather die 🤢

- She’s going to shit her brains out now

- LMAO YUP

- Sister Hilda and Trixie could be an interesting dynamic, let’s see it

- Fred do not worry you’ll figure it out

- What’s wrong with Sister Frances?

- Where is Ms Higgins from that she just said laboratory like that LMAO?? Or do all brits say it like that? i dont remember

- Can’t wait to see Phyllis back with her cubs

- Fred and Reggie hugging for so long🥺

- Sister MJ is going to make a garden, I love her

- Trixie’s new pyjama’s are so cute

- It’s a boy 🥺

- “I am not alone sister” LMAO omg reminds me of the time my grandma went shopping by herself right after she came out of the hospital and we called her and asked who she was with and she straight up said “con díos” aka god and I died

- Never underestimate Sister Mj tho

- Tim is so grown and yet he’s still just the babysitter is so wack give him a little story

- “I like that we’re complicated” awww

- The photos of May🥺awww

- Give Esther a chance man, I feel so bad. She only asked to meet her before she goes back

- Gtfo how can the agency not provide a translator so that she can understand official documents in her first language? That’s bullshit

- LMAO FRED IS WASTED

- “Only in the line of duty ma’am” 😂

- Oh no poor Sister Frances, cramps are the WORST 😭

- I legit would not be able to move for hours and have thrown up before from period pain. Thank god for birth control

- What’s wrong with baby warren?! Omg noo a heart problem

- Trixie’s fit is great

- The fucking chicken pox caused this omg nooo

- THE BEATLES AT SHEA!! iconic! Remember when Don took Sally on Mad Men

- Omg baby is blind? and only going to live a few weeks? Noo😭 this is heart breaking

- Poor Val and poor Maureen ugh this is so awful

- My niece turned 1 today and baby warren is making me extra emo😢

- Sister MJ with the teddy bear 🥺 she doesn’t even care she got caught for taking the blankets LMAO

- Damn May doesn’t remember her or her language. This is so heartbreaking

- ALSO why were there not subtitles so we could know what she said? 🤔 very questionable... just like how they emphasized earlier her going by a “christian” name now... 

- Esther shouldn’t have gotten loud but they didn’t even give her a chance? That’s not really fair

- I know Patrick is being protective but he’s so defensive that he probably did scare May

- PHYLLIS FAKING CAR TROUBLES TO GET CRYRIL AND LUCILLE TOGETHER I LOVE IT

- Damn that didn’t go well LMAO

- I’m really feeling conflicted here. I know the Turners have the best intentions and want to keep May safe but I feel like they haven’t given Esther enough of a chance before passing judgment. Like how do we not know she’s a completely changed/clean from drugs women?

- like she is working for a family with enough money for international travel so they probably pay well? IDK what to think rn. Maybe I’m giving Esther the benefit of the doubt but no one else really is

- “They made my child afraid of me” that’s so sad to hear

- “Forgetting her language, forgetting that she’s Chinese” !!! THIS, no one is talking about May’s loss of culture & what’s worse is that no one else seems to care. It really upsets me, the show always wants to pride itself on respecting other cultures and being inclusive but I don’t always feel that

- Also what she said about what they’ve done to her people. She ain’t wrong. F**k colonialism and all its evils !!

- Poor Esther 😭 this is so sad. It’s a lose lose situation for her and she just wants her daughter to know her and know that she loves her

- Also I know sister J is sister J but her talking to Esther is a bit biased don’t you think

- NO NO NO Warren passed 😭😭😢

- Damn Patrick has to carry a stack of death certificates 😢

- ANOTHER look from Ms Franklin

- all the girls look great though

- My heart really breaks for Esther man. This is so sad. She’s the victim of circumstances and it sucks to feel like the world is against you

- It’s so awkward bc the Turners are always set up in moments to kiss and then they don’t and just stand or sit there

- Such beautiful flowers

- They developed the film of Baby Warren😭

- Cyril’s FIT ! A fashion KING who loves Lucille. I love it. I love them.

- The nosy nurses of course

- Alright this is an awesome little festival good job Fred and Reggie !!

- Love the dress Trixie. The hat no so much but it’s the 60s so

- A BABY GARDEN OMG HOW PRECIOUS

- SISTER MONICA JOAN WON OK!

- “Flowers take many forms. Each one has its story. Each one unfolds...” 🌼🌸💐🌷🌺🌻🌷

- “Not every garden blooms as we except it... tears take the place of rain when the sunshine fails us...” 😭💖

- This was a beautiful ending to a sad episode wow

[dustedmagazine]

Listening Post: Stax Reissues

Isaac Hayes and David Porter

During the month of June, Craft Recordings released a Stax album each day — their first digital appearances — as part of Black History Month. The albums are a mix of oddities, minor albums by soul stars, ambitious musicals and even a lost classic or two. The series focuses on post-1969 material, meaning the second wave of prime Stax material and a business now separated from Atlantic Records. Roughly considered, the period came with a change in sound and prolific stretch of artistry. Rather than sort through 30 albums, we'll take a look at just a few that seem particularly interesting.

Justin Cober-Lake: There are two albums I want to pull out that I think are particularly fertile for discussion, not only in themselves but in looking at Stax in transition. The first is David Porter's Victim of the Joke? An Opera. Porter's best work came as a songwriter, especially with Isaac Hayes, during the first era of Stax. Here he goes from short pop songs to full concept album, though the best track on here is a cover a pop song, the Beatles' “Help.” Carla Thomas got an early start in music (aided by dad Rufus Thomas), but by the release of 1969's Memphis Queen, she'd earned that moniker. She didn't especially love this album and it seems to be forgotten, but it sounds incredible to me. “I Like What You're Doing (To Me)” was a minor hit worth more attention. I'm not entirely sure why this one hasn't stuck around, but I suspect that it has something to do with the fact that it has the pop sense of earlier Stax (Motown really, with its lack of swamp) and the more “sophisticated” sound that gets associated with the label in the 1970s (as with Isaac Hayes).  

Jennifer Kelly: Hey Justin, thanks for starting this.

I am really liking the Carla Thomas and will have more to say about that later.  

However, I'm having a terrible time with the David Porter album. Over a quarter of it, by time, is made up of pointless, tedious skits, which don't tell much of a story and are really horrendously acted. I've started stripping these out so that I don't get bored and vindictive, but even so, the music feels incredibly bloated and musak-y — all those Mancini string swells. I'm not hearing much that's distinctive about Porter as a writer or a performer either, and if the best song on your record is a Beatles cover, you can count me out.  

Is anyone else hating this as much as I am or is it just me?

Jonathan Shaw: Yep, afraid so.  

I do see a through-line from the skits on Porter's record to the willfully moronic stuff on The Chronic and some other 1990s LA rap. The stuff on the Death Row records was a little more self aware. A little — "The $20 Sack Pyramid" is pretty funny. Lots of misogyny there, though...  

Justin Cober-Lake: I can't deal with the interludes at all (I also don't like rap skits). Giving it a test-run with all of those pulled out, Porter's album works far, far better. Before I looked at it, I actually thought there were more interludes than songs, and that they took up more time. Neither idea is true, but it shows how much they affect the record. I'm guessing this approach was pretty novel for its time. We're into concept-album territory by 1971, but it's not yet old hat. Porter breaks some ground on this release, even if it doesn't work.

Musically it doesn't feel bloated to me, and I'd have never made the Mancini connection. I think those strings are a big part of what makes the second era of Stax (I know I'm making that distinction pretty loosely) so distinctive. This fits in with what Isaac Hayes was doing so well. It's a difficult comparison, though. Hayes is two years past Hot Buttered Soul and he's on to Shaft and Black Moses. Porter's ambitions go a different direction. I love that he's pushing himself, but it makes me feel like he's getting outside his strengths and it shows just a little. 

Let's drill it down even more. What do people think of the last cut, "Airplane Ticket, Bus Ride, Can I Borrow Your Car?" I suspect comments on that track will be telling.

Nate Knaebel: I think it's important to consider the historical context for the Porter and Hayes solo records, too. That pair had a tremendous amount of pull around the Stax offices and were second only to Steve Cropper in the in-house artist hierarchy. As much as it may have been welcome, there was no real pressure for them to be successful solo artists (or solo artists at all) as long as their contributions as writers, producers and A&R men continued to make money. They had a freedom to stretch out creatively in way that, say, Ollie Nightingale might not. That second half of the Stax story is also plagued with financial mishap in part because Stax lost its entire back catalog to Atlantic. So, as I understand it, Al Bell was demanding something (anything) from his entire roster in order to refill the vaults. Combine the freedom that Porter earned for co-writing so many Stax standards with the demand for product and the general headiness of the times and you end up with strange results. Though it works better than some of Porter's stuff, Hayes's 19-minute version of "By the Time I Get to Phoenix"(featuring an extended monologue no less) is ultimately just as strange, experimental and antithetical to a traditional industry MO as Victim of the Joke . . . 

Nate Knaebel: While I can't say this a classic, I certainly don't mind it either. The strings feel very appropriate for the times, and there's enough Stax grit to keep me invested. I agree that skits may not work, but again, I hear them in a historical context and as a product of the occasionally ill-conceived experiments of the times from an artist with the wherewithal to try them. 

Jonathan Shaw: So, in historical context: What's the "joke"? The fact that Porter's conceptual protagonist was "made human"? "Human" seems to me the best track on the record. Its agonizing resonates with 1971, a shitty year all around in the U.S., but as ever, probably especially shitty if you were black. I still don't know what to make of the record's stylistic excesses, the sweeping strings and goofy sentimentality, the Beatles cover. It would be stupid to insist that all records had to take radical black politics seriously, or had to respond to politicized artistic agenda. But I just can't get a read on the record and the stakes of its experiment, or concept. Black creativity at sea in the whiteness of institutional culture? Is that why the closing interludes spend so much time on the beach? The cartoonish masculinity (the "buxom, fine chicks" in the water, the shouts of "faggot") gets pretty unpleasant.

Justin Cober-Lake: Nate's historical context is right on point, and I think it's part of what makes this era so interesting. That demand for products is largely what produced the "Soul Explosion" that these records are part of. It's fun to get lost in it, especially with so much weirdness.

Justin Cober-Lake: Nate's historical context is right on point, and I think it's part of what makes this era so interesting. That demand for products is largely what produced the "Soul Explosion" that these records are part of. It's fun to get lost in it, especially with so much weirdness. 

As for what the joke is — I have no idea. I thought he's the victim of a bad relationship, one he should have entered into. The songs do help tell the story; it's not just that the interludes connect loose thematic concerns. Porter's character gets together with a woman who belongs to someone else, and "belong" is the appropriate word here —  she's spoken of as another man's possession. The first song is about his unwillingness to enter a relationship where his love can't be reciprocated, then he sings of sneaking around. After he's found out, he's beaten and things unravel. It's ambitious, but Porter doesn't seem to know what to do with it. I'm not sure what to take away from it other than a warning about dating other guys' girls.

 Nate Knaebel: Jonathan's questions intrigue, but, to Justin's point, do they require an answer? Perhaps the record should just be taken on its own terms, for better or worse. Even given the broader politics of the day. There was plenty of music being made in 1971 that wasn't expressly political but was artistically progressive. Soul acts were constantly shifting back and forth between the political and the personal to see what worked sales-wise, sometimes even embracing one at the wholesale rejection of the other. Remember that by 1973, Marvin Gaye didn't really care much about what was going on anymore and just wanted to do blow and fuck. I'm also interested in some of the reactions I've seen here to the music itself. What, for example, is excessive about a Beatles cover? It was fairly common for soul and R&B artists to do them, and Stax did a bunch. And you’re not the first person to mention the strings, Jonathan, but the presence of such instrumentation just doesn't strike me as an unusual or even an aesthetically questionable choice. The whole genre was headed in a more ornate direction by the 1970s, with Gamble and Huff revolutionizing the form using similar arrangements that far exceed those here in the sentimentality department. All that said, I'm personally not crazy about this album (there are a few decent jams), but I see it more as an experiment that fell flat for a variety of reasons, the muddled narrative certainly being one. But there's no single artistic decision here, in and of itself, that I find terribly perplexing. It just doesn't really grip me as a whole. Whether there is really anything to crack or not.

Justin Cober-Lake: As a bit of an aside, anyone who's interested should check out McLemore Avenue, Booker T. and the MGs' album of Abbey Road covers. About a decade ago, the Stax Does the Beatles compilation came out. I think Porter's cover here is pretty fun — I just find it strange that someone so praised for his songwriter would make an album where a cover stood out.

I don't know if we have much more to say (though feel free to talk on), but I think what I find intriguing about it is the way that it epitomizes so much of 1971 Stax — it has a bunch of strings to play with, it has a central figure to the studio going weird (with comparisons to his companion also going weird), it has a Beatles cover, it buys into the concept album era, it has dated gender politics, it's part of a burst of creativity/product releasing that maybe could have used a little work. Somehow it's both indicative of an entire scene and utterly idiosyncratic.  

So, if we do want to move on, how do we respond to the much more sensible Memphis Queen album from 1969, which is still part of that moment but feels like much more of a transitional album?

Jonathan Shaw: Yeah, I meant "stylistic excesses, sweeping strings and goofy sentimentality, the Beatles cover" as sequence, not as specific examples of "excess." None of that stuff works for me, aesthetically, so to make sense of a record that seems to have a concept, I take it conceptually seriously. Maybe that's the joke — on the listener. And maybe that's the reason for the Beatles cover, to gesture to a band that took itself very, very seriously. 

 Justin Cober-Lake: Bumping this conversation. Anyone have thoughts on Memphis Queen?

Ian Mathers: I finally got around to listening to some of these (I also had the Knowbody Else, not sure if we're discussing that one?), and agree with the general consensus about the David Porter. Heck, if you measure by track time, that interminable intro track is longer than all but one of the songs on the Carla Thomas album. About the most I liked any of the songs was when I misheard and thought "When You Have to Sneak" was "When You Have to Speak" instead (although I also found myself wondering how such a relatively positive song snuck into the middle of this pretty sordid and depressing narrative). I didn't have a problem with the sound of the songs —  I liked the strings! — or Porter's vocal performance, but conceptually and lyrically the whole thing was a mess back in 1971 and seems like an even bigger mess now.  

I'm glad though that I listened to Memphis Queen first, just to confirm for sure that I loved it on its own merits and not just by comparison. I've heard Carla Thomas here and there, but this was definitely my biggest exposure to her, and if I don't have enough knowledge of the genre as a whole to contrast it to much, the songs held up well here to other singers I've liked such as, say, Ann Sexton. Particularly on the slightly more driving "Unyielding" or "More Man Than I've Ever Had", it totally feels like it lives up to the title.

Justin Cober-Lake: "More Man Than I've Ever Had" is the track that jumps out to me. It's the clearest forerunner to Sharon Jones I've heard in Carla Thomas, and it keeps that deeper Memphis funk sound. The knock on the album -- as much as it gets -- seems to be that it's over-orchestrated and therefore a little too soft. Part of what drew me to the record is its liminal position. It doesn't scream early Booker T or 1970s Isaac Hayes. She's a long way from "Gee Whiz," and if she doesn't sound like she did on the Otis Redding duets, that's not a knock (so to speak). Vocally, she's assured and she's skilled. There's a decade of recording experience behind her at this point, with some top artists (including Dad) and she delivers.

[itsametaphorbriansblog]

Okay, I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY

First of all, I love Bohemian Rhapsody, it's a fun movie, with awesome music and quotable lines.

BUT there are some things I don't like about it:

1. The characterization of the band. (I love the guys' performances, so nothing against them) Almost everyone felt like a 2D character:

Roger was a sex-crazed hot-headed guy, they didn't show how he actually is really a loyal friend, kind human being and a sharp, funny and intelligent guy (the "who even is Galileo?" line even tho was funny, it enraged me, he studied BIOLOGY AND ENTERED DENTAL SCHOOL, he for sure knows who is Galileo and if it truly was a sarcastic comment, they dumbed him down so much, that you can't realize it, and for what? I don't think there was a good reason for him to be that stupid. AND HE WAS THE ONE TOTALLY COMMITTED TO THE BAND SINCE THE BEGINNING, that was his fucking dream. And he didn't have his moment to shine with a song, a video idea or a concept ("Radio Gaga" if you want to start somewhere) like the rest of the guys, instead they made "I'm in love with my car" (a bop) the butt of the joke and a running gag.

John was poorly treated, I know he was introverted or shy, however when a person is shy or introverted, it escalates to the point where you feel comfortable around 'your family' (as the movie puts it) and in the film I don't see that escalation, he took 2 albums to finally write a song, in where he called himself someone out ("Misfire") but he at the end was comfortable with the rest (he made them sing "I'm happy at home" for the love of god). He had little to no lines, and they didn't show how "with two sentences he could make you curl up and die", and even if that wasn't the point, he was a sarcastic, witty, soft and happy guy, who came up with amazing songs like "Back Chat".

Brian was an angel in the movie, and I KNOW he is gentle, soft-spoken and smart. But he also was the most strong-headed out of the four, He and Roger were the ones that fought over songs the most and FREDDIE was the mediator. He also wanted to make a guitar solo in every song (pissing of Deaky), and he was the first one to have a cheating scandal (and making a song out of his cheating habits "It's late")

HOWEVER, THE WORST CASE WAS FREDDIE. Even tho he was the most "real" out of the four, he ended up being a victim and had his sexuallity demonized. His relationship with Jim was really cut short, and they extended Mary's soooo much, it was not necessary. I know they were friends after their break up, but if you want to make the point that Queen is the addition to it´s parts and a family, then why she had to be so involved n "saving" him? Why not the guys actually made the intervention? they knew Freddie was not ok in the movie. They, also, made his stage persona, his personality. He had a flair for the theatrics, however he was not a diva 100% of the time, he had his playful, funny, chill moments. And his commitment to the band was amazing always, In 1969 he said he was going to be a pop star and a legend so him to his friends, and he had an awesome work ethic (they were all perfectionist) so why showing him arriving late to rehearsals?.

2. The interrelationships between the band members were cut short:

They didn't show how Roger and John interacted. Roger was the first one who bonded with John TRHU THEIR LOVE OF CARS, and the one to introduce and make Deaky comfortable with the rest of the guys for starters. Deaky pointed Roger as the most handsome guy in a room full of contestants, even when Roger was not in that competition. Roger remembered the 'Under pressure' line when Deaky forgot it. They complimented each other.

The relationship between Freddie and John was criminally robbed. Freddie was a momma bear towards John, so Freddie actually being so pissy towards Deaky, and not encouraging makes me angry. He made John got out of his shell, and was the OG Deaky stan.

The Roger/Freddie relationship was transform in the opposite,They were good friends (soulmates as Jim puts it) and they got each other (the one vision behind the scenes anyone?), why the fuck put them against each other so much? they messed around together, they even lived together at a certain point for god's sake! the both of them were PLAYFUL and had fun, they knew each other long before Queen, they had a Kensington market stall. So fuck off.

Brian and Roger were completely pissy. And I know they fought in the studio. But they friendship outside of it is legendary, they have 50+ years of being friends. Brian was in awe when he first saw Roger toning his drum set and heard him play, he said "that's how a drum must sound" he always compliments Roger's play style, saying it's unique and identifiable. He also says that Roger is one of the brightest, sharpest and down to earth persons he knows (and we are talking with and astrophysics). You can see the familiarity in interviews, the banter, they are brothers.

3. They robbed us of iconic moments:

The "Simon Ferocious" scene

The "Under Pressure" incident

LIVE AT MONTREAL

Rogers styles thru the years (he was the rainbow man for the love of God, not some plain ass bitch)

AND HIS MULLET

Roger chasing Dominique (cause his a soft boy)

Brian with his kids

"It's a Hard Life" video

The cupboard moment, even if it wasn't true, now is canon.

Deaky meeting the guys in a disco (a place which Roger and Brian hated)

Roger being the trendy bastard that he is (and his awfully bad acting)

Micheal Jackson saying that AOBTD was a bop. And the llama incident.

"Crazy little thing called love" creation.

Roger breaking the nose of someone that had called Freddie mean things.

"Liar", " March of the Black Queen" or"Death in two legs" anyone?

And I could go on for hours.

4. The flow of the editing was kind of weird, and had too many montages.

NOW THE SOLUTION TO THIS:

Make a Netflix series with one season and 8/10 chapters, like "Luis Miguel" for example.

You can divide it into 4 eras, and every era occupying 2 chapters of an hour each chapter ...

First one in John's P.O.V: from 1970 to 1974, from John joining the band till Live at Rainbow. Including John meeting Veronica, Brian presenting Mary to Freddie and John feeling comfortable with the guys. Plus, Brian marrying Chrissie.

The second one from Freddie's P.O.V: from 1975 to 1978. Dedicating an entire chapter to them being in the ruin, John having basically no home, and having to move with Brian (another robbed friendship, btw) and the creation of "A night at the opera". The other chapter Roger meeting Dominique, Freddie ending things with Mary, and finishing with "Jazz", plus "Don't stop me now" opening the door to the United States's public.

The third one in Roger's P.O.V: from 1980 to 1985. Starting in a high note with AOBTD, going thru Hot Space, the fights (and possible break up of the band) because of the album and Roger's solo work. The second chapter would include the South American Tour (since there were dictatorship in all the countries they visited and was basically like Beatle Mania), Freddie meeting Jim, Freddie's solo stuff, the creation of Radio GaGa and finishing with Live Aid. Roger quitting smoking cause of Dominique's bronchitis.

The fourth one in Brian's P.O.V: from 1986 to 1991. Starting with Wembley Stadium, "A kind of magic" album and him meeting Anita and divorcing Chrissie, discovering that Freddie had aids and showing his strength, and his bright attitude, and not having pity for him. Roger's divorce and him meeting Debbie. Ending in The "Show must go on"™ moment.

And the fifth era as an epilogue, in John, Brian and Roger's P.O.V.: They don't show Freddie's death, nor his last stages. However, the chapter starts with the press harassing both Roger and Brian, and Roger defending Freddie a week after his passing. They show the damage that caused Freddie's death not only in the members of the band but in the fans. The last chapter is the "Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert" Ending with Somebody to Love, cause that is THE Freddie Mercury ™ song.

Thank you for listening to my rant.

[artistjojo1228]

Rock and Roll Storytime #8: Motherf***ing Altamont (Otherwise Known as the Worst Mistake the Rolling Stones Ever Made)

Let’s face it, 1969 was a pretty crazy year no matter where you stand. On one hand, there were the moon landings, Woodstock, and general protesting against the Vietnam War (much to the chagrin of the Establishment), but on the other hand, there was the Chappaquiddick incident, the death of Brian Jones, and the Beatles starting to head full-steam down the path that led to their breakup in April 1970. 

And then, there was Altamont, what has otherwise been labeled as the darkest day in Rock and Roll History. 

This one’s going to be frustrating (and as an aside, I’m actually quite glad that Brian Jones missed out on this one, and likely would have even if he hadn’t drowned, by virtue of getting fired from the Rolling Stones in June 1969).

Let me start off by positing one simple question: WHICH DUMBASS CAME UP WITH THE BRIGHT IDEA OF HIRING THE HELL’S ANGELS AS SECURITY?!

Okay, I guess I’d better start earlier than that, even, with some of the lead-in. The Rolling Stones had last performed in the concert circuit in 1967, and by June 1969, they wanted to get back on the road. One problem: their guitarist, Brian Jones, was unable to get a work visa due to having racked up two drug convictions in the meantime (at least one of which was definitely based on planted evidence). Even then, Brian, for reasons known mostly to him and only speculated upon by me, had stopped contributing to the Stones’ music, if he even showed up to recording sessions at all. Mick Jagger, himself, said that Brian’s last major contribution to a Rolling Stones song was the hauntingly beautiful slide guitar on the melancholic “No Expectations”. 

It was apparently their road manager, Ian Stewart, who brought up the idea of letting Brain go from the band. Bill and Charlie had absolutely no say in the decision, but ultimately, on June 8, 1969, Mick and Keith went to Brian’s residence, Cotchford Farm, to tell him he was being fired, with Charlie tagging along to make sure a fight didn’t break out. However, by most accounts, Brian had been expecting this would happen, and agreed to leave the band. Mick and Keith left the press statement up to Brian, and possibly to save face, he decided to make it look like he’d left the band on his own accord. 

The statement read: “I no longer see eye to eye with the others over the discs we are cutting. We no longer communicate musically. The Stones’ music is not to my taste any more. The work of Mick and Keith has progressed at a tangent, at least to my way of thinking. I have a desire to play my own brand of music rather than that of others, no matter how much I appreciate their musical concepts. We had a friendly meeting and agreed that an amicable termination, temporary or permanent, was the only answer. The only solution was to go our separate ways, but we shall still remain friends. I love those fellows.”

How much of this statement was true is up to personal conjecture. In either case, Brian was replaced by 20-year-old Mick Taylor, who’d previously played with John Mayall’s Bluesbreakers. In a press conference on June 13, the band announced Taylor’s arrival (having two Micks in the band gets so confusing), as well a free concert in Hyde Park on July 5 to introduce the youngest member of the band. 

Then, just two days before the concert, Brian drowned in his backyard swimming pool at the age of twenty-seven. His death was ruled as misadventure (which personal research seems to back up), but theories persist to this day that he was, instead, murdered. 

In the blink of an eye, the Hyde Park gig went from being an introduction to Mick Taylor to being a tribute to Brian Jones. In honor of Brian, the concert began with Mick reading two verses from Percy Bysshe Shelley’s “Adonais,” and as the band began playing “I’m Yours and I’m Hers” (one of Brian’s favorite songs), 2,500 cabbage white butterflies were released (against stipulation), though, by this point, many had died in the July heat, due to the boxes not being properly ventilated. Even if, on a technical level, it wasn’t one of the Stones’ best shows, it still showed the world at large that the Stones were back (baby). 

So, what does all this have to do with Altamont? Well, providing security that day was the London chapter of the Hell’s Angels. Apparently, it was Rock Scully’s idea, after he’d hired the Angels as security on multiple occasions while managing the Grateful Dead. 

Thing is, the London chapter was a lot calmer when compared with the infamous Californian branch of the Hell’s Angels. 

So yeah, there’s problem #2...

That summer, a little concert called Woodstock took place, which ended up epitomizing the peace and love movement. But if that was the high, then Altamont was what brought that idealism to a screeching halt. 

Problem #3: the concert was based entirely on the notion that the Stones could hold a free concert as a sort of West Coast Woodstock. 

After all, even journalists throughout that tour had been complaining about high ticket prices (even though $3-$8 seems to me a steal considering they’re going in the triple digits nowadays...). What could go wrong?

Those of you familiar with Murphy’s Law may be able to see where I’m going with all this. 

Problem #4: their tour manager, Sam Cutler, just couldn’t get a venue. 

He tried to score them a gig in San Fransisco, but there was a football game taking place, San Jose wouldn’t have another concert so soon after the last one, and Sears Point Raceway asked for a $100,000 fee as well as distribution rights to the concert footage (the entire tour had been filmed by a crew including the Maysles brothers and future Star Wars director George Lucas). So, a mere forty-eight hours before the concert began, the Stones finally settled on Altamont Speedway. 

Needless to say, anyone who’s ever been to a concert or organized any large scale events would be able to tell you that choosing the venue at the last minute is NEVER a good idea. This is also evidenced by the fact that the venue was covered in trash and lacked basic amenities such as water and toilets, but hey, the owner offered it for free, so why not?

I swear, the level of incompetence shown by multiple parties throughout these proceedings is on another level (and I read the Darwin Awards...)

Also, as a result of the ASTRONOMICALLY poor planning, the stage was only an inch off the ground, and since there were only two days before the concert, there was no time to make the stage safe, so already, anyone playing at Altamont the day of December 6 were putting themselves at risk (I don’t know if waivers were signed either). Not to mention the fact that there would be absolutely no barriers between the performers and the reported 300,000 attendees. 

So, that should cover problems #6 and #7, but in my personal opinion, the coup de grace of all these fuck-ups was the decision to hire the Californian Hell’s Angels as security. 

Again, as I said, the Stones did have the London branch of the Hell’s Angels at the Stones in the Park concert, but anyone who knows anything worth a damn about the Californian Hell’s Angels would know that it’s a whole different ballpark dealing with them. From what I’ve heard, the hippies had an unrealistically idealized version of them in their heads, and Cutler apparently even tried warning the Stones about the “real” Hell’s Angels. Even then, the Hell’s Angels were offered $500 worth of beer to basically just sit on the side of the stage and make sure no one got too close. 

If you’ll excuse me, I need to go call the organizers fucking idiots in a minimum of seven languages. ... Okay, I’m good. Still pissed, but I’m fine. 

In either case, also not helping matters was that at least 95% of the audience were high on one substance or another, because, let’s face it, this was the hippie movement. And according to Rolling Stone magazine, the organizers also didn’t warn neighboring landowners of the hippies descending on the scene, set the whole thing in a desolate, treeless, wasteland (and still there was no clear barrier between the performers and the audience), the sound system was shit, and in general, the stage was completely surrounded by people and their cars. 

I don’t know about you, but I’m already smelling a disaster waiting to happen. 

The concert was to feature Santana, Jefferson Airplane, The Flying Burrito Brothers, Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young, The Grateful Dead, and of course, the Rolling Stones. 

Things started out smoothly with Santana’s set, but only deteriorated from there, as the Hell’s Angels got increasingly drunk. Throughout the day, the Angels would attack anyone who was being problematic (sometimes with sawed-off pool cues and motorcycle chains), although their victims include a guy running around naked and another who was trying to take pictures of the stage. Things only got worse after someone (possibly accidentally) knocked over one of the Angels’ motorcycles. During Jefferson Airplane’s set, Marty Balin jumped into the crowd to stop a fight and was knocked unconscious, and when Paul Kantner sarcastically thanked the Angels, one, Bill Fritsch, took up a microphone and argued with him about it. One woman called a radio show the next day to say that she saw several fistfights break out, and every single one of them involved the Hell’s Angels. When she tried to speak up about it, other people around her told her to keep quiet out of fear of provoking them. Denise Jewkes, lead singer of Ace of Cups and who was SIX MONTHS PREGNANT, got hit in the head by a beer bottle, causing a skull fracture (the Stones later paid for her medical expenses). Stephen Stills was reportedly stabbed in the leg several times by a “stoned-out” Hell’s Angel. When the Rolling Stones flew in, Mick was punched in the face almost the second he got off the helicopter. Things got so bad, that the Grateful Dead basically just said “Fuck it” and got the hell out of dodge. 

Apparently, the only time the crowds calmed down, even a little, was when the Flying Burrito Brothers took the stage. 

It was dark when the Rolling Stones finally took the stage (partly because Bill Wyman missed the first helicopter), and by then, things were only deteriorating further (if such a thing is even possible). Fighting between audience member and Hell’s Angel alike kept breaking out, to the point where Mick stopped the show in a vain attempt to get the crowd to calm down. 

All I can say is, “Too little, too late.”

And still, as the Stones tried to keep performing, the situation only got worse. While Mick was singing “Under My Thumb”, yet another melee broke out, and in the chaos, 18-year-old Meredith Hunter, who had come with his girlfriend Patti Bredehoft and who happened to be high on meth at this very moment, was stabbed to death by 21-year-old Alan Passaro, after apparently brandishing a .22 caliber revolver in the direction of the stage. Passaro was later acquitted of all charges, which I think was a horrible mistake. It’s impossible to know for certain whether Hunter had been trying to defend himself or if he actually intended to shoot Mick Jagger, but what is known is that Hunter’s murder was captured on camera. You can watch the footage, but I must say, it makes for grisly viewing: 

People who were at the scene have since reported that Hunter was in urgent need of medical attention. However, the helicopter pilots who were there refused to take off for any one but the Rolling Stones. EVEN THOUGH THIS WAS CLEARLY A LIFE OR DEATH SITUATION. 

Excuse me, I need to take another break to scream to the heavens about why this was allowed....

Needless to say, Hunter died while waiting for an ambulance to come. In addition, two other people were killed in a hit-and-run accident, whilst another drowned under the influence of LSD. Also, four babies were born. 

The next day, the Stones were on a plane back to London. 

In the years since Hunter’s death, no one in either the Rolling Stones, the Grateful Dead, or the Hell’s Angels have taken responsibility for what happened. The Hell’s Angels, the organizers, and the crowds blamed each other for what happened, and the Stones have never really spoken up about it. They’ve never even had the decency of apologizing to Meredith Hunter’s family. 

If you ask me though, I’d say that the fault lies entirely with everyone who organized this whole mess. Somehow, everyone involved was naive and/or stupid enough to try and organize an entire concert in just a few weeks as opposed to months, and the decision to hire the Hell’s Angels as security only exacerbated the ineptitude of everyone involved. 

Let’s face it, none of the organizers were innocent, and no one in the crowd escaped without losing their collective innocence. There’s a damn good reason that this is considered the death knell for the hippie movement, and it’s all in the footage taken that night. 

Sources/Further Reading: https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-features/remembering-meredith-hunter-the-fan-killed-at-altamont-630260/ https://www.ranker.com/list/altamont-free-concert-facts/jen-jeffers https://allthatsinteresting.com/altamont-speedway-free-concert https://www.newyorker.com/culture/cultural-comment/the-chaos-of-altamont-and-the-murder-of-meredith-hunter Up and Down with the Rolling Stones by Tony Sanchez Life by Keith Richards Altamont by Joel Selvin https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/the-altamont-festival-brings-the-1960s-to-a-violent-end https://www.thevintagenews.com/2018/02/01/altamont-free-concert-in-1969/ https://www.thevintagenews.com/2018/08/21/altamont-festival/ https://www.villagevoice.com/2018/07/23/altamont-the-rolling-stones-and-the-death-of-the-sixties-dream/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Altamont_Free_Concert https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_of_Meredith_Hunter https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rolling_Stones_American_Tour_1969 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Stones_in_the_Park https://web.archive.org/web/20161116164203/https://theravenreport.com/2016/10/31/rock-and-rolls-worst-day-this-1969-concert-ended-in-death/ https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/the-rolling-stones-disaster-at-altamont-let-it-bleed-71299/ http://timeisonourside.com/chron1969.html https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUlyVSfhgaM

[queensofrap]

Most Misunderstood: Iggy Azalea's American Dream    

he early reality of Amethyst Kelly is difficult to imagine. There was once a small home in the tiny Australian town of Mullumbimby, made of red brick, cemented by mud and laid by her father's careful hands. Her mother would spend her days emptying trash bins at a motel as a vacation rental cleaner, a path Amethyst would eventually follow at age 14. Water didn't always run, clothes were never new, and bathrooms were separated from the home by a muddied path. It's a tale of immensely humble beginnings, a hemisphere away from the life she would come to inhabit as Iggy Azalea a decade later. And while her origins are unfathomable for some, it's Amethyst's American dream that remains universal.

I first witnessed a glimpse of that dream in the fall of 2011. It was through a cracked iPhone screen, held casually by my friend. "You have to see this bitch," she announced, flicking her perfectly coiled locs and turning up the volume. "She's every-fucking-thing!" There, on the screen, was a tall, curvy woman with ice-blonde hair and creamy incandescent skin. She was surrounded by two brown cheerleaders in matching green uniforms, strutting in towering heels and rapping furiously: My world, rhyme vicious/ White girl team, full of bad bitches. Immediately, I recognized her: this confident, eccentric girl who didn't fit into preppy white hierarchies. While others girls were quoting lines from Mean Girls, imagining themselves Regina George, she appeared as someone I knew. A girl unruly and self-possessed, always late to class, always blasting D4L. I could see her crafting beats with her knuckles and strolling into class hours late, another detention slip placed on her desk. We were sold.

If "My World" was the bait, "Pussy" was the hook, line and sinker. Iggy, Iggy/ Pussy illy/ Wetter than the Amazon/ Taste this kitty! Her accent was thick and affected, reminiscent of our cherished childhood favorite Diamond from Atlanta's Crime Mob. The "Pussy" video was a Boyz N The Hood homage with ATLien pastiche. There were ice cream trucks and babysitting, front porch posing and concrete runways, sherbet-colored pants and shredded shorts. And we weren't the only ones taking notice of Iggy and her ways. Seemingly overnight, our private cafeteria secret had become a viral phenomenon.

“ Here I am at the darkest period of my life, contemplating suicide, and I'm singing "Switch.“

Press came quickly, grand and bold. The New York Times suggested that "all this proximity to blackness characterizes Iggy Azalea as a person who is no stranger to black culture and communities, suggesting it's no anomaly for her to rock the mic." The Los Angeles Times described her flow as "brash and aggressive," while Complex decided that she was ready to "really make her mark on the game." Classmates had her image as their screensavers and sprawled across their Tumblrs, and were dropping her name in new music debates. She performed at small venues in Atlanta and cars across the city boomed with Never not better/ Law should ban it! A few months later, when "Murda Bizness" featuring T.I. dropped, her dream was actualized. She was not a one-hit wonder. She was a star, poised to rise.

There are many forgotten Iggy freestyles from that era. In one, she raps over Chris Brown's "Look At Me Now," prophesying her divisive nature. In another, titled "Home Town Hatred," she reflects on her time in Australia and her desire to leave. Over Kanye West's ominous "Hell of A Life" beat, she details how industry executives told her to dumb it down. But it was her 2011 "D.R.U.G.S." freestyle that first illuminated the parameters of her ignorance.

Reflecting the industry's tendency not to look at things too deeply, at first the song went unchallenged. (It would be a year before its lyrics were critically examined). In fact, Complex covered the freestyle, commending her craft and comparing her to fellow white rapper Yelawolf. The following January, Iggy signed to major label Interscope, tweeting, "Get used to me + Jimmy [Iovine] smashing shit, cause that's the plan."

In February of 2012, she landed the coveted cover of XXL's Freshman Class issue: an annual declaration of hip-hop stars poised to break big. Between up-and-comers French Montana and Future stands Iggy in a lush green fur. She was the first woman to ever grace the cover — a backhanded achievement. For many, XXL is a bastion of hip-hop excellence. To be a cover star and stamped with their approval was to suggest an imminent dominance. If Iggy could be shot, styled, and photographed for her buzz, where were the black women who broke the boundaries, paved the lanes, and inspired her craft?

It was Harlem-born musician and artist Azealia Amanda Banks who first articulated concern about Iggy's image and her space within hip-hop. On Twitter, Banks wrote, "Iggy Azalea on the XXL freshman list is all wrong. How can you endorse a white woman who called herself a 'runaway slave master'? Sorry guys, I'm a pro black girl. I'm not anti white girl, but I'm also not here for any1 outside of my culture trying to trivialize very serious aspects of it."

Media outlets immediately crafted Bank's criticism into a heavily publicized rap beef, thrusting Banks into the insidious stereotype of bitter black woman. The line Banks referred to was a re-interpretation of a Kendrick Lamar lyric on Iggy's "D.R.U.G." freestyle. In Kendrick's 2010 track "Look Out For Detox," he raps, When the relay starts/ I'm a runaway slave. In Iggy's version, she says, When the relay starts/ I'm a runaway/ Slave master/ Shittin' on the past/ Gotta spit it like a pastor.

Conversations surrounding the lyric lacked necessary context. Journalists missed questions and painted simple proclamations. In October of 2011, Banks had tweeted, "how sexy is iggy azalea?? It's kind of ridiculous…*tugs collar to let out steam*." In January, she wrote "Iggy Azalea's hair looks really great in her new video. How long do you all reckon that hair is? 40" in? By March 2012, the dream was dented, with Iggy being called out as misappropriating at best, racist at worst.

She issued a heartfelt apology, which fell on mostly unsympathetic ears. Two months later, Iggy was dropped by Interscope. Her debut album, The New Classic, stalled indefinitely. But still, there was room for redemption. In April 2013, Iggy signed with Mercury Records, a UK subsidiary of Universal Music Group. After recording new music in England, she returned stateside, armed with a completed album and a firmly set 2014 release date. During press runs she's tested: asked if she's an imposter; if her body is enhanced; if the cringe-worthy assumptions about her mentor T.I. are true. Old tweets were dug up, which made the disdainful murmurings worse. She's asked to freestyle on Sway, but instead inexplicably recites a line from her own album. Her music begins to change, becoming less lyrically explicit and trap-influenced, and more poppy and prim. Now a Complex cover star, she fumbles when asked about her divisive rapping accent. She's quoted saying, "This is the entertainment industry. It's not politics." Soon enough, that statement would no longer be true.

In 2012, political discussions had begun to dominate all forms of media. The slain lives of Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis became proponents of combustible change. Movements like Black Lives Matter materialized, refusing silence or forgetfulness of the innocent and slaughtered black people, churning hundreds of American murders into global narratives. Each case, though singular and specific, represented the transgressions of America's not-too-distant-past and its perpetual present. If there was once a time when innocent victims could be smudged from history and their murderers left unscathed, that clock no longer ticked. Images of callous violence circulated more than music. Cellphone and camera footage displayed women being beaten, children being shot, and men being strangled. Language seemed to shift, relegating all ignorance to silence; expanding itself to capture the expansive feelings of others. And at the top of the same year, "Fancy" was released. Like lightning, Iggy's dream merged seamlessly with reality. She was now a star with a verifiable hit.

With her Clueless themed video for the inescapable track, 2014 became the year of Iggy's art. She held the number one spot on Billboard's Hot 100 for seven consecutive weeks. She luxuriated in the second spot too, appearing as a featured artist on Ariana Grande's "Problem." Billboard claimed Iggy tied with The Beatles and attached her name to the legacies of Mariah Carey, Missy Elliott, Lauryn Hill, and Nicki Minaj. She was now booking prime-time television spots — appearing on Good Morning America with Charli XCX — and on the covers of grocery store aisle magazines. Forbes declared her "Hip Hop's New Queen of Rap" and she was nominated for four Grammys. Simultaneously, America's racial rhetoric and division began to feel claustrophobic. In early February, Yvette Smith was murdered on her front porch. In August, Michael Brown Jr. and Ezell Ford were shot and killed. November was the month Laquan McDonald and Tamir Rice became portraits of unfinished lives. In July, Eric Garner was placed in an illegal chokehold, his last words becoming a symphony of unbearable sadness. The dichotomy between a world callously slaughtering black people on one end and rewarding a white rapper with success and visibility on another was dizzying.

What is it like to attach oneself exclusively to a dream, to pursue it even as the odds are stacked against you?

By 2015 the dream dissolved completely. Iggy was accused of racism, cultural appropriation, minstrelsy, and ignorance, becoming the perfect conduit for whiteness and all of its horrors. Her silence during racist events was considered complicit. A world tour was canceled, and neither a follow up album or a Top 10 hit reappeared. In 2016, she announced Digital Distortion, her sophomore album that was ultimately held after three singles — "Team," "Mo Bounce," and "Switch" — and a leaked music video. This year, Iggy released "Savior" with hopes of a refresh.

To some, she was an untalented white supremacist Barbie, infiltrating a space crafted by black people and laughing to the bank. Her dream — an innocent one of music, money, and acclaim — had become grotesque. To others, she was an iconic legend who was just easily projected upon. Now a refracted mirror for public opinion, a line was permanently drawn: black or white — no in-between.

But for me, there's always been a gray area. In art, in music, and in life, there is a space where the eye can shift inward to ask and answer questions. What might it look like for a young girl in Australia to re-discover life through hip-hop? What did it look like to want to manifest a world of make-believe, to create art once unseen? What is it like to attach oneself exclusively to a dream, to pursue it even as the odds are stacked against you? What do you do when you can't separate criticism from hate? When each day you're bombarded with projections based on media machinations? What does it look like when your dream comes true, when it's finally real, only for it to be mocked? To me, it's a perfect portrait of America.

At The Roxy Hotel, in New York City, I sat with Iggy Azalea. We spoke about her life, her dream, her craft, and her upcoming music. She was thoughtful and articulate, eyes glinting with Gemini humor and intellect, deeply apologetic and severely misunderstood. This is what transpired.

Can you take me back to your childhood? I read that your hometown is called "The Biggest Little Town in Australia." What was it like?

I still don't know why the fuck they call it that. It was a really small town, incredibly rural, but there's a looser, less stereotypical element to it. There were a lot of crystals and hippies, weed smokers, and horoscopes. The town was split between this hippie, carefree fairy spectrum, or conservative farmers and their crops. My parents were on the fairy spectrum, but I went to public school. Everyone there was straight-laced with names like Amber and Stephanie and there I was as Amethyst, with platform shoes, and immediately it was like, Okay, bitch prepare to get bullied.

What were the students like?

There were two schools. One was private and more artistic, and that's where all the people that could be considered carefree and more imaginative were able to go. The public school was very sterile, very conservative. The private school was expensive and my family had no money for that, so I went to the public school and I was miserable. These were the children of bricklayers whose parents drove tractors and guys who played football on the weekends. I got teased for everything. Literally everything, there was no winning with those kids.

I'm ignorant to Australia — I've never been — but there is the classic stereotype of the tanned, athletic, white Australian. When we think of whiteness, we often forget its specifications, even the types that are lauded and coveted. For instance there's the archetype of the popular blonde. You were tall, pale, and curvy…

Oh my goodness, yes! And I was never that girl. Not even anywhere near that girl's posse. I never fit in and there was a time I really tried to fit in. I remember getting teased because I hadn't shaved my legs yet. I was only in sixth grade and I had never even thought of something like that. They would call me "monkey" everyday. One day I got my mom's razor and shaved my legs thinking it would finally be over and it wasn't. There was always a new thing. My hat. My mole. My weight. All of these things now seem so dumb, but I didn't do anything like them and there was no appeasing those kids.

When did you first think of leaving?

I always knew I was going to leave because I knew I didn't belong with any of the people that lived there. I only decided I wanted to go to America when I visited the states with my grandparents. I was 11, and I remember seeing all the showgirls in Las Vegas, all their sparkles and rhinestones. They were the most fabulous girls I had ever seen. I had only seen something like that on TV, and it blew my mind. Then we went to Hollywood, and there were all these wig stores and the Star Walk, and just seeing all the ways people dressed, how they styled their hair, the color of their wigs, I wanted to be able to do all of those things. When I wanted to dress like this in Australia, I'd get shitted on. But coming to America and watching people put on a show, watching them being ridiculously fabulous, no one was doing that where I was from. Nobody was even wearing high heels in Mullumbimby.

When did you put the plan in action?

That happened when I really started to get into music. I was insanely confident, with the kind of deluded grandeur that I think you need when no else believes in you. I thought I was good at it even though in retrospect I was bad still. I was about 14 and that's when I started writing music. I'd go to open mic nights and take the bus all over the city. I'd go to battle raps, I'd get booed. There was a sound audio engineering school, called SAE, and the first music I ever recorded was there. From 14 to 16, that's when the plan formed. As soon as I started writing, I knew music was what I had to do. Even if I wasn't a rapper, I thought I could be a sound engineer or a writer. I just knew I wanted to be involved in music. And I knew I had to get the fuck out of where I lived. It was suffocating me. I wanted to live in a place where the sky was the limit, a place where my dreams weren't strange or weird, where others had even crazier ideas than me. I knew all of that was in America, and that's where I had to go and that's where I thought people were going to accept my wild thoughts. I tried Sydney and Melbourne and they just weren't it. Nothing else was.

"I wanted to live in a place where the sky was the limit, a place where my dreams weren't strange or weird, where others had even crazier ideas than me. I knew all of that was in America."

Why Miami first?

They had a SAE campus in Miami. I thought I would be able to get in and get a student visa. I saved up enough money to live there for a couple of months, but I didn't have enough to live and go to school, so I ended up not going.

Next was Houston. What was that like?

I only lived there for a year. This producer found my music through Myspace, and he said if I was ever in Houston to let him know. Then he told me all the people he produced for, and I was so excited because I really loved Rap-A-Lot records, so I went. I met him and he was really cool. We recorded a bunch of songs and we would go to Metropolis. It was in a strip mall and everyone would just hang out in front of their cars, and inside one side was reggaeton and the other was a Slim Thug record chopped n' screwed. The plan was to give the DJ your cd and hopefully he'd play it, which they never do. Then you'd hangout in the parking lot until someone has a fist fight and then you go home. Those were my nights there. Just absorbing everything. I made some friends and then Hurricane Ike hit. Most of my friends were moving to Atlanta because their homes were destroyed. I went too.

How were you making money?

Two of my friends introduced me to their sound engineer and his girlfriend would come to the studio and drop him off lunch. She and I ended up becoming roommates. I told her how I had gone to Thailand before and how fascinated I was with the hair. How you could get in bundles and stuff. She said we should save up money to go and then bring it back and sell it to salons. So we saved up and went on our last dime. She had just graduated college and was working at Bank of America and we went out there and got a bunch of hair. When we came back we sold it super quick, wholesale, to all the salons. It was insane. Technically, even though I didn't have a work visa it isn't illegal if you invest in someone's business. So she registered it as little corporation under her name and I invested in it.

There's this idea that there was "Fancy" and then boom — immediate success! But there were a lot of setbacks.

Obviously there are years that people don't know about. I was in Atlanta for nearly two years just writing for people. I was doing so many writers camps for other known artists, just trying to get my spot. That's why there were a lot of pop demo references that came out. Everyone accused me of wanting to be a pop star and that wasn't something I've ever been interested in. I would write pop music with other people and try to get it placed. I've always rapped. Even the video that came out of the pop song, that was just some shit I did with my friend. We were playing.

The wildest thing is that there are so many reports that I used to be a model and that's always been strange. Just last week on my Spotify profile my bio says, "Iggy Azalea was a high profile model before she became a rapper." When?! I would have loved to be a high profile model, but last time I checked I'm a fucking size eight. What the fuck runway or editorial model do you know that size? There's so much of those kind of rumors that have a mind of their own now.

How did you end up in LA?

The music I was making in Atlanta, I started putting a couple of songs online. They didn't have anymore than 300-400 views. I still don't know how the fuck they found me, but an A&R at Interscope messaged me. He told me he had asked his girlfriend at the time, "Who do you think is cool?" And she played him my music. I was skeptical but he ended up being legitimate. He said I should move to LA and as soon as my lease was up, I went.

When I moved there they put me with a bunch of people. They were trying to help me make connections, but they didn't really understand what I was doing. I met these guys who make up "D.R.U.G.S." about a year after I moved to LA. We'd record in their garage. YG was there. Mustard was there before he was DJ Mustard. Ty Dolla $ign was there all the time. That's where I made Ignorant Art and put out "Pussy."

That song was such a success, Interscope must have been happy.

I had gotten to the end of things with Interscope and was at the point where I felt like since they didn't understand me, this would be a "fuck you." As soon as I put out "Pussy," they called me and said they totally understood the vision. It was a "what the fuck" moment. For nearly a year I had been trying to explain it to them, and suddenly when I did it on my own they want me? I don't think they truly got it, I think they just saw the numerical element to it.

Were you signed to Interscope yet at that point?

I finally had my meeting with Jimmy Iovine after that, and they wanted to sign me. The problem was my A&R wanted to manage me. Interscope, at the time, was working on an in-house management team with LMFAO. They wanted me to sign a document that literally detailed how signing would be a conflict of interest. They gave me two options: sign or leave. I had so many potential deals with other labels but in the end I chose Interscope. We got all the way down to the agreement and, the day of, the deal was dead. Completely done. I had bigger offers, better offers, and I stayed to be loyal to the people who helped me when I was in Atlanta.

What happened?

That was a Jimmy situation and it had a lot to do with Azealia Banks. They wanted to sign her and it became a conflict of interest. Once that happened, everyone wondered why I wasn't signed, why Jimmy didn't want it, and it brought into question my worth as an artist. No one wanted to fucking touch me at all. I couldn't get a deal anywhere after that. Before this I could've asked for a fucking elephant, a Ferrari, four monkeys, and a million dollars — after there was nothing. People wondered, What was wrong with Iggy Azalea? That's how it works with these things. I was done.

What'd you do next?

I had to go to England. I got new management based out of the UK and went and recorded a bunch of music in Wales with a few producers from America. I recorded "Work" and most of The New Classic there and went and shopped a deal in England. They were the only place that didn't give a fuck about what had happened in America. I signed to Mercury Records and after putting out my music there, I came back to America to get upstreamed through Universal Records. I put out five singles through Def Jam before I ever had "Fancy." I toured with Nas before "Fancy." I toured with Beyoncé before "Fancy." I toured my own tour in Europe and North America before "Fancy." I had done five tours before I ever made "Fancy." "Fancy" was truly the last attempt. Not for me to quit music, but for the label to quit me. They had given me four video budgets, none of them exceeded their expectations, and "Fancy" was their last hurrah. For them it was like either this works or it doesn't, but we're gonna put the album out and see if it sells. I decided to do something left and do Clueless, and it worked. Luckily, we had so many attempts before that with the label and this one worked.

What was that moment like?

I was really happy and surprised. I've always known the art I make is pretty left. I didn't expect it to connect. Music has changed a lot from when I first started, but at the time, my music was considered left. There was a lot of monumental success from "Fancy" that I didn't anticipate. All these people were discovering my music and suddenly I'm doing shows with 6,000-7,000 people. It was way more than I ever imagined. I thought I'd be doing basement shows or college parties and even that was so cool to me. I thought I had fully made it! I didn't think beyond that. To see brands that I knew, magazines, all of these mainstream fixtures, people, and media embrace my music, I never could have dreamt that.

When "Fancy" gained such visibility, the media seemed to adore you. Billboard said you tied with The Beatles and bested Michael Jackson. Forbes declared you "Queen of Hip Hop." What were your thoughts during that time?

It was very strange. I never said I was the queen of rap, I've never even thought that. I truly think it was like a great white hope, similar to the film Rocky. All of these people were championing me and branding me these things because of their own projections and not only were they outlandish, they were all incredibly premature. I had just started and there was this influx of, "Queen of rap! Queen of the world! Best record ever! Song of the century!" And so everyone starts saying, "No she's not, fuck her! She has some fucking nerve!" And all of those are things I never said.

What were your thoughts when you were then nominated for four Grammys, including Best Rap Album and Best Record of the Year?

I remember sitting at the Grammy's praying to God I didn't win, literally crossing my fingers, hoping there was no media frenzy. I didn't ask to be nominated. I don't even think I deserved nominations. People were so frustrated with those headlines and all those articles became attached to me personally. People assumed that's how I saw myself, or how I thought of my music. It's never been that. There was this element of trying to humble me, a moment where it seemed like, "Oh this bitch thinks she's this? We're gonna fucking show her that she ain't shit."

Did you ever anticipate that side of fame?

I've always known that I'm controversial. I love to move the needle. Things like "Murda Bizness," yes — I'm going to put toddlers and tiaras in a music video and I know many won't understand it. Or with "Pussy," yes there is a child and I know it pushes buttons. But I think that the best things in pop culture are polarizing. I knew I would always come with controversy, but that was a different kind of controversy. I didn't anticipate that. I didn't even anticipate the success. I didn't think that would be the thing that made it all come crumbling down.

"I think that the best things in pop culture are polarizing."

What is your biggest regret during that time?

I wish that I would've handled criticism better in the beginning. I knew I was polarizing. I aim to be polarizing, sometimes too polarizing where I've pushed the limit too far. When I first got here, there was so much I thought I understood that I really didn't. I've really had to learn a lot of things by being here and having friends and seeing things play out in real life. Especially in the last few years in culture and how far conversations have come, I look back and cringe.

Like what?

Things like the Kendrick lyric, something I profusely apologized for and have learned from. That wasn't okay. It was insanely ignorant. That wasn't an experience to toy with. Sometimes you have to learn the hard way, specifically with that line, like fuck, I hate that I said it. There was so much criticism that came with "Fancy" and I wish I would've handled it better, but it felt very thick.

Everything was coming from every angle. My success. Being worn out. Having lawsuits. I had five different court cases and all of that factored into my responses. It was hard to decipher what criticism was valid and what criticism was just hate. Even with Azealia, we've since spoken and in retrospect, I'm sorry that I trivialized the way she felt about her experience as a black woman navigating the music industry. She and I have our own history and beef about other shit, but when she went on the radio and spoke there was validity to it. Those were her experiences that many others could relate to and I can't take those away, but at the time I thought it was her saying 'fuck you' and trying to hate on me.

You felt what she said was valid in the end?

There were so many critiques she made that were valid. I wish I hadn't been so defensive and emotional, but it invalidated important conversations that shouldn't be overlooked. It created a situation where it looks like I'm unable to be accountable, or I'm unable to accept criticism, that I'm tone deaf, and a fucking idiot. I felt like I had to defend myself against everyone, and that attitude didn't work in my favor. I wish I didn't give impulse responses and say things that made it worse. I was just popping off shit, and I wish I would've thought before I spoke. The problem got so big that I didn't know how to handle it, and I just thought I'll just go away and wait until it blows over or gets better. But it won't just get better, I have to acknowledge it and have conversations about it because otherwise it seems like I don't give a fuck or I'm not ready to take accountability.

Why do you think you weren't able to hear the criticism at the time?

I think when you're an artist and you're just starting out, especially as someone who isn't American, there's a difficult line to walk. I came here when I was 16 and people don't seem to understand that that time period truly defines who I am. They don't get that a lot of these things are my genuine influences, the same way they were informed and influenced by their surroundings. I really did live here. I lived in apartment full of people from Jamaica and after work we'd battle rap by the pool. I really did have friends that were involved in illegal activities. I was actually in the south, recording with Dem Franchize Boyz, listening to Outkast, Dungeon Family, Field Mob, Crime Mobb. And that seems incredibly hard for people to swallow. People think I should rap about Australia in an Australian accent but I'm 28-year-old woman now. I can't rap about being 10 and living in Australia. That never inspired me. My time in America, my time in those cities, were when I really started having life experiences that were worthy of going into my music. It all happened here in this country.

"I wish I hadn't been so defensive and emotional, but it invalidated important conversations that shouldn't be overlooked."

On some of the leaked tracks for Digital Distortion you didn't seem afraid to acknowledge it. Tracks like "Middle Man," "7Teen," and "Elephant" were incredibly aggressive and direct. What happened with that era?

For the record I love Def Jam, there are a lot of people that I truly respect and like. The problem I had during this time was that I was preparing to address how I felt. I had gotten so pop, and when you have success as a pop artist it makes the label a lot of money, so they pushed me to keep churning out hits. They pushed for more branding money, more endorsements — that's their job. And I made the conscious choice to go along with it because I was making a lot of fucking money.

But in doing that I think I isolated a lot of my original supporters. I also stifled myself creatively because I wasn't making the kind of music I wanted to make. If I wanted to make endless hits, I would have been making pop music from day one. I just lost my passion. I didn't feel motivated in the studio. When I told them I was going to make an album, I sat there with the president of the label and told him that his 10-year-old daughter is probably not going to like the songs. I said, "She's not gonna want to come to the concert," and I could see a look of pure horror etched on his face. The expression of, "Fuck, the money maker is going to make some weird, non-radio album."

They weren't backing you up.

There was no support in my decision. They couldn't understand it unless it fit into a radio format, but I knew I would never have success again unless I connected with my original fans. That's what I knew I needed for me to have authenticity and for me to feel passionate. Not only that but for me to just endure life. Everything was falling apart and I need to love the music I'm making and truly believe in it. When I delivered the album, they wanted to know where the radio hits were. All they wanted to create were songs like "Switch." And those songs are great, but pop records don't work without a foundation. Those big songs are supposed to be cherries on top, not just a roof with no house. Pop records are like Skittles, they taste really good but if you eat too many you'll feel sick. They're not a creative meal. Here I am at the darkest period of my life, contemplating suicide, and I'm singing "Switch."

Can you tell me a bit about this new era — Surviving The Summer?

Releasing "Savior" was incredibly therapeutic for me. It felt good to have a record where I can talk about depression, and just let down all my cards. It's completely different from a lot of the other tracks which are heavily rap.

Who are you collaborating with?

I'm working with Detail. I'm working with Pharrell. There's still going to be those unexpected Diplo elements like my early mixtapes. I'm really taking it back to that place. I started with Digital Distortion, but that was really aggressive and angry. I'm not in that place anymore. I'm happy. I know my fans want me to rap and I want to give them that. I want to give them the hard shit that they love, the shit that's different, that moves the needle. I hope people will support it.

From your rapping accent, to your pop accolades, you're constantly criticized for being inauthentic — specifically within the hip-hop realm. What do you think, ultimately, of those debates?

The way I've always felt about music is that I never approached anything as partial to a genre. There's never been a sense of this is a pop record, this a rap record. Even with the way music is today, there are so many melodies and variations to any song, any genre. I think a big part of the judgement in those things — not exclusively for me, but for most women in the music industry — is misogyny. Do you know how many men are on pop records? When they do it, it's rewarded and they're considered smart for reaching a bigger audience.

People like to pick and choose the rules. We bury things that don't give our theories sense. Everyone does it, it's human nature. I feel like with me, there's a lot of reasons why people are trying to invalidate me. Is it not authentic because I make pop music? Or is it because I'm from Australia? What about the fact that I've been here for 12 years? What about white rappers who are saying the most absurd things about hip-hop, but in the club everyone's singing their songs? Other rappers are allowed to do the things that I do — even things I would never even think of doing — but it's okay because they have likability, or a different perception attached to their image, or a fucking dick. People are misogynistic. It is what it is.

"Fuck what I was doing before, I'm doing new shit. It's exciting."

Do you feel like you're a new artist now?

Yes, 1000 percent! It's almost harder now because when you're new people have no preconceived notions about what you are or what you represent. When you become mega successful and you go mainstream, no longer is the sky the limit. It becomes, "Oh she's mainstream, she's had a Steve Madden deal, she's on Cosmo," and the art becomes dissected in a new way with more eyes. But I like it. Sonically, when I'm in the studio, it's fun approaching music as a new artist. Fuck what I was doing before, I'm doing new shit. It's exciting.

[amandajoyce118]

Cloak and Dagger Episodes 1-4 Easter Eggs and References

Okay, I promised Easter eggs and references for the episodes, so here they are. I pitched a few Cloak and Dagger related articles for Screen Rant, but the show hasn’t been garnering enough attention for the site to cover it. Moral of this story: if you want to see content about shows you like, and you want writers to get paid for covering shows you like, you have to actually read about the shows you like.

Easter eggs will go up after the new episodes on Thursdays nights. And, obviously, spoilers for the episodes follow.

Series Premiere “First Light” and “Suicide Sprints”

The Marvel Flip

The Marvel Flip that plays comic book art at the opening of every MCU project is pretty standard. Most of the same “whoosh,” “Fooom,” and outlines are used in all of them. But there’s usually a change depending on the project. The flip for Cloak and Dagger has Daggers light knives appear for a split second. I’m sure there’s something related to Cloak as well.

Ballet

Ballet was a big part of Tandy’s life as a little girl in the comics too. In fact, her original white leotard costume was inspired by ones worn during rehearsals. I love that it’s still so much a part of her that she wears ballet slippers as a teenager too.

Mom’s Back Problem

Mom’s drug use is not a result of the things that happen to her and Tandy after Dad dies. Her “back problem” is code for her taking lots of pain pills. Tandy’s mom was already in trouble long before they lost their money and security.

On The Bridge

Tandy’s dad on the phone discussing complete structural collapse and energy dispersion with someone we don’t know? That’s, uh, not so subtle foreshadowing of the “oil rig” that explodes moments later. I’d bet money that the structural issues aren’t a result of them drilling for oil though.

Tandy’s dad being the guy warning the higher-ups, and not being listened to, is also a nod to the levees breaking when Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans and the BP rig in the gulf having structural issues that no one ever took care of. The show is shot in New Orleans, and there are a lot of nods to the history throughout the series.

Billy

In the comics, Billy isn’t Ty’s brother. Instead, he’s Ty’s best friend, whom he also witnesses get shot. The effect on Ty is pretty much the same. (He does have a sister in one of the series, but she’s never given a name or anything.)

Roxxon

It’s no coincidence that the truck that runs Tandy and her father off the road belongs to Roxxon. Or that the oil rig belongs to Roxxon, as we find out later. Both Tandy’s father and Ty’s mother work for the company. It’s also pretty evident that whatever was in the truck is what gave Tandy and Ty their abilities as that’s the first manifestation of their powers (right after the shockwave through the water). That’s not how they get them in the comics - instead they’re kidnapped and experimented on. This is better. It would be interesting to see if there’s anyone else in the area that also ended up with abilities. Just saying.

Number 11

Ty’s jersey is #11. That might be a coincidence, but I thought it was cute because, while they were introduced in Spider-Man books and got a four issue mini series after, their first “real” series only lasted 11 issues. After that, they and Doctor Strange were given short stories in a revival of Strange Tales.

St. Sebastian’s

Not a Marvel reference, but I like that the school is named for Saint Sebastian, who had to be killed multiple times because people kept saving him. He supposedly offers protections against plagues and he’s the patron saint of athletes, which fits for a school where basketball is hugely important.

Glowsticks

The club where Tandy finds her rich kid victims? It has glowsticks that look a lot like her light daggers.

Tandy using the knife as a screwdriver later also reminded me that she’s the one with “daggers.”

The Crick-Hits

This band appears on Tandy’s shirt when she goes to the party in the woods and meets Tyrone. They’re an obscure band in Marvel Comics that were meant to be a nod to the Beatles. (I’ll admit that I never would have spotted this if the showrunner hadn’t talked about it in an interview. Apparently, the band will have more nods on the show too.)

Tandy’s Name

There really was a computer named Tandy. In fact, there was a whole company of them. Tandy Corporation started out as a leather company in Texas before diversifying. They owned the now defunct RadioShack.

Tandy the Pickpocket

Her being good with her hands reminds me of the early Skye days on Agents of SHIELD. Skye distracting Mike Peterson with a three card monte of sugar packets while she swipes his ID, anyone?

But really, this moment plays to the role reversal in the show. Tandy picks Ty’s pocket at the party, but in the comics, after they’ve both already run away from home, it’s Ty who thinks about stealing Tandy’s purse when they first cross paths. Ultimately, he decides not to, someone else does, and he ends up getting her purse back for her. The show does a nice twist on their first meeting.

In the comics, Tandy runs away from her privileged life because her mom doesn’t have time for her (among other things) and ends up an addict. Ty runs away from home because the police think he robbed a store, when really, he saw his friend get shot. Ty doesn’t come from a wealthy background in the comics like he does in the show, and it’s a nice change.

The Black Sheet

Ty finds himself teleporting in only a black sheet. Looks kind of like a cloak, no? I mean, I figure this one’s obvious, but I thought it was a nice touch. (Sidenote for those wondering about his powers: in the comics, he actually accesses his power through the Dark Dimension, which is wear Darkforce comes from. We’ve already seen Darkforce AKA Zero Matter in action on Agents of SHIELD and Agent Carter. The latter, conveniently, was wear a subsidiary of Roxxon tried to experiment with it and opened a doorway to another dimension. Who’s sensing a connection?)

“I’m afraid even if you do everything perfectly, I’m going to lose you.”

Valid concern for a woman with a black teenage son in America. It had to be said.

Tandy And The Hoodie

In case it’s not clear, Tandy is more sentimental than she lets on. Her favorite hoodie is the one Ty took from his brother and rescued her in. She kept it just like she kept her old ballet bag. Aw.

Emma Lahana

In case anyone is wondering, that detective used to be a Power Ranger. She was the Yellow Ranger in Power Rangers: Dino Thunder. You’re welcome.

The detective, who doesn’t get a lot of lines until the next couple episodes, is named Brigid O’Reilly. In the comics, she’s also a cop that initially goes after Cloak and Dagger, but she also becomes a vigilante herself. Her name is Mayhem.

The Tarp

I love that once he teleports with it, Tyrone decides to test to see if he can use it again. It really looks like a cloak when he wraps himself in it. I also like that he tries it again a few times with other black tarps/fabrics. He’s learning.

Father Delgado

The priest that Tyrone spends so much time with also gave Cloak and Dagger a hand in the comics. He gave them a place to stay when they had nowhere else to go. He also defended them when police came looking for him. Father Delgado traditionally has a church in Hell’s Kitchen in the comics and he’s also hosted the New Mutants and Spider-Man. As the story goes on though, he becomes convinced that Cloak s a demon and that he has to save Dagger from him. He also actually becomes possessed by a demon and tries to kill Dagger, soooo… he should be fun.

“The cumberbatch too.”

It’s okay that he didn’t know it was called a cummerbund. It’s funnier because Cumberbatch is the actor playing Doctor Strange. Whom Cloak and Dagger shared issues of Strange Tales with. It’s fitting. And purposeful. The showrunner confirmed it on twitter.

“We fail. You still profit. Ain’t that America?”

Social commentary at its finest. And true. Which is a little depressing.

Pill Bottles and Gravestones

The showrunner said that pill bottles and gravestones might include names that are Easter eggs, but I didn’t get a good look at any of them, so help a girl out if you did!

S1E03 “Stained Glass”

Tyrone Thinks He’s Cursed

In the comics, there were a lot of people who thought he was cursed. As it turned out, there was a demon in the Dark Dimension that he was connected to. It was that demon that actually “fed” on energy and light, and was part of the reason Tyrone loved being around Tandy when using their abilities.

Damballah Voodoo Tours

Voodoo Tours (and other tours involving historic sites) are a real thing in New Orleans. Damballah though is a being that appears in Marvel comics. Sometimes portrayed as a god, sometimes as a demon, Damballah looks like a snake. He’s appeared in a few obscure issues and was banished by Scarlet Witch.

For anyone who wants even more trivia, Gerry Conway is credited with creating Damballah. Conway also created Punisher, Vrellnexians (you know, the roaches in space on Agents of SHIELD), and made the decision to kill off Gwen Stacy.

The Dolls On The Mantle

During the show livetweet, it was mentioned that fans should pay attention to the detail in the dolls on the mantle. All I’ve got is that they all appear in pairs. Tyrone has been added to the mantle, but Tandy hasn’t yet.

“You have to try something else.”

Look, there is sooooo much symbolism going on in their visions, and I think you can dissect them a million different ways to interpret them the way you see fit. Some of my personal favorites though are Tyrone appearing with what looks like old school plantation wear and dining spread in the middle of the bayou in Tandy’s vision, only to repeatedly end up in modern street clothes when he’s targeted by the cops, while Tandy giving up her dagger for him and adding it to the table gives him a new path. I also love that Tyrone’s vision of Tandy shows that she knows that the more she struggles, the more she gets caught in metaphorical quicksand, and it’s not until he uses his own power on her that she attempts to try something else. Tyrone has the pressure of so many people investing in his future. Tandy has the guilt of bringing Liam into her life. Etc. Etc.

They balance each other out, which isn’t a coincidence, of course. But man, their visions are good.

S1E04 “Call/Response”

“He chased your cop away yesterday.”

I’m throwing this line in here because it shows how condensed the timeline for this series is so far. Episode four is the next day from episode three. (Apparently Tandy heals really quickly since the gash on her head is gone.) The first three hours take place relatively quickly as well. Only a few days have passed in the lives of Tandy and Tyrone and yet everything has changed for them.

Their Powers

Okay, so this episode gives you a better idea of what their actual abilities are.

Tandy is the literal embodiment of hope and light. Yeah, she can grab light daggers out of nothing, but her actual power in the comics is the manipulation of Lightforce (oh, hey, the opposite of Tyrone’s Darkforce, right?). With her ability in the comics, she can create daggers from light, but she also stores that energy inside of herself. It builds up over time, and if she doesn’t use it every so often, it discharges on its own and she has no control over it. Her daggers can be used to drain someone’s energy in the comics and also to manipulate their “life force” to a new direction, giving them a glimpse at what their life would be like if they made a different choice. Tandy being able to see people’s hopes when she touches them is the show’s take on that.

Tyrone’s ability to get into people’s nightmares is an example of him being the opposite of Tandy, of course. In the comics, he doesn’t have that ability, but I think it’s a nice touch for the show. Instead, he can channel Darkforce and absorb people’s energy with it. He can become intangible using it, and he can access the Dark Dimension to teleport, of course. Something we haven’t seen on the show yet is that he can also teleport other people through the Dark Dimension, but because it’s so dangerous, Tandy is usually the only one to accompany him. Her Lightforce offers her a measure of protection. Tyrone making the comment that his ability seems to bring him to Tandy is likely a nod to his Darkforce being drawn to her in the comics. The demon that controls the Dark Dimension likes to absorb her Lightforce.

“Character is what you do when no one else is watching.”

I can’t decide if Tandy’s dad was paraphrasing writer C.S. Lewis or UCLA basketball coach John Wooden here, who both said a variation of this. Probably the latter is what the show’s writers were going for since Tyrone plays basketball.

Stashing the Bike

On twitter, the showrunner mentioned that the debris where Tyrone tosses his bike holds some clues, but honestly, I didn’t notice anything that stood out. I figured I’d note it in case anyone else did.

Mardis Gras Indians

This group is the real deal. Essentially a secret society that’s not so secret in New Orleans, the group is made up of Black Americans who partake in the carnival. Their parade during Mardis Gras is one of the biggest. You want to learn more about the history of the group, this is a pretty good start.

“Shit goes boom.”

This made me laugh a little bit because Olivia Holt used to be on a Disney show called Kickin’ It where her character used the phrase “boom goes the dynamite” all the time. The girl likes a good use of the word “boom.”

Founded 1982

This phrase appears on one of the flags in the Red Hawk’s place. When did Cloak and Dagger make their comic book debut? You guessed it, 1982.

Cloak

While it’s sad (and also sweet) that Tyrone picks Billy’s cloak from the room of failures, I love that it looks like his comic book cloak come to life. Where the beadwork is references where most artists use different shading to show changes in light and it’s just perfect.

I also love his dad’s speech about the costumes giving them strength. That’s why superheroes wear what they do.

Tandy Likes Tyrone’s Eyes

I just think it’s cute that she already told him she liked the way his jacket hangs on his shoulders in an earlier episode and now she likes his eyes. She’s not shy. She’s honest. It’s nice. In fact, all of the women in this show are, and it’s a nice change from the usual idea of women on TV that have to be cryptic with the men around them.

Greg’s Death

We see Greg killed by the water delivery person, but the cards for the episode outline shared on twitter say that the “unseen assailant” was going to be his wife. I’m curious if his estranged wife will still play a part in the episodes ahead or not.

Check Your Privilege

Has another Marvel series ever been so timely? Tandy denied action because she’s a woman doing what she has to do to get by. Tyrone targeted by literally everyone because of the color of his skin. Both of them trying to atone for the things they think are their fault, but going about it in very different ways. So. Good.

[aion-rsa]

Framing Britney Spears Review: FX Doc Is a Pop Horror Story

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The FX docuseries The New York Times Presents takes a celebrity turn on the installment “Framing Britney.” But this is no tabloid exposé, even as the gossip rags and paparazzi become inadvertently complicit. The series provides consistently dedicated longform journalism as a matter of course. Their beat is varied. It’s covered front line workers, booted a hacking network, and chased a killer.

“Framing Britney” doesn’t present a homicide case, though legal minds might argue a life has been taken away. It is a true crime documentary, but the truth hasn’t been determined, and the crime is hard to define. There is a fiduciary element, and questionable mental health is a contributory factor. It is also a missing person’s case where the exact location of the victim-at-large is known. Well known and splashed across newsfeeds at a moment’s notice if there’s even a hint of a move. That’s part of the problem.

“Framing Britney” does a very good job of breaking down the incredibly confusing legal details. Since what has been called a very public breakdown in 2008, Spears has been under her father Jamie Spears’ conservatorship. This is also known as a guardianship and it is normally limited to people with diminished capacity who might not be capable of making decisions. Spears entered the conservatorship at age 26. She acknowledged it was necessary when it began, but at 39, wants the conditions changed.

The court documents call Britney a “high-functioning conservatee” who is still raking in the bucks. James Spears’ conservatorship may have been legally dubious, but it has been profitable, bringing the star from the depths of a bottomless spending spree to a net worth of well over $60 million. The conservatorship has done so well, even James’ initial co-guardian, the aptly named Andrew Wallet, wants a raise, and The New York Times Presents wants to know why. Britney’s attorney Samuel D. Ingham III tries to explain as much as he can, but he’s only privy to so much information. The documentary makes it seem Spears’ case is too profitable to get resolved. It’s not about health, but money. Even the Los Angeles Superior Court Judge is named Brenda Penny.

The subtext of the documentary has even saturated Spears’ song titles. “Work Bitch,” “I’m a Slave 4U,” “Overprotected,” all describe the neverland Britney inhabits, and “Framing Britney” lets you know it without stating it explicitly. Baby, she’s been hit more than one too many times. And it drives her crazy. It drives her fans mad as well. They’re only angry but they’ve been labeled insane by the opposition. Britney’s father dismisses them as “conspiracy theorists.” Some members of the #FreeBritney movement say they feel so gaslighted they sometimes doubt what they know. But they know, and are very good at getting the inside scoop.

One sequence recounts an anonymous voicemail message to the fan-produced podcast “Britney’s Gram.” It is obviously big news, and the fans who produce it do the right thing. They make all the right disclaimers. They do their due diligence, vetting as much as possible, cross-checking as much information as they can get. The self-appointed Britney-fan-journalists are organized, intelligent, and so well-informed Britney herself thanks them on record highlighting the word. They go to the hearings, take minutes and share them via google doc, insiders confess to them. They are a serious media concern, and this writer hopes when they achieve this goal, they don’t give up on their network and what it can do.

The fan/journalists dig through every conservatorship document available to the public. This may be part of a New York Times series, but they are star stringers, and director Samantha Stark is absolutely justified in treating them this way, albeit with tight editorial restrictions.

This may be the most innovative aspect of the episode. New York Times journalists Jason Stallman, Sam Dolnick, and Stephanie Preiss teamed with Left/Right’s Ken Druckerman, Banks Tarver, and Mary Robertson on this project. They enthusiastically analyze and incorporate the information they get from the grassroots fan-based press which sparked The Free Britney movement. Over the past few years, cellphone-recorded incidents and social media feeds have been changing the way news is gathered, providing first-hand accounts of harassment, protests and aggravated law enforcement tactics. The New York Times Presents produces one of the best mixes of the evolving media landscape. It is a transitional program, adhering to traditional journalistic values while vetting the upstart alternative media.

“Framing Britney” watches Spears’ followers as they scrutinize the star’s Instagram posts. Since disappearing from public view, these are the only glimpses into the megastar’s life, and she appears to be packing as much into the short clips as she can. Almost every post artfully weaves a mysterious clue, but even the fans admit, anyone can read anything into all of them. Spears’ lyrics have come under similar microscopes leading to vast and dark conspiracies. Britney could be singing about watching The Sixth Sense in “Girl in the Mirror.” The lyrics to “911” could be interpreted as a plea from a monarch-programmed sex-kitten. She never even officially released her response to a famous ex-boyfriend’s teary-eyed breakup song.

The documentary includes insightful interviews, especially with Felicia Culotta, who was with Spears from the very beginning of her career. She is to Britney what Mal Evans was to the Beatles, the one who did the day to day work. She was hand-picked by Britney’s mother and James Spears’ ex-wife Lynne Spears. Culotta stood with Britney for Times Square selfies on the first trip to New York. An early talent manager talks about how dedicated Britney was to her musical and performance studies, and the documentary shows stills of the singer on different instruments. We see the rise of a female pop phenomenon in the age of the boy band.

This is where “Framing Britney” earns its title. The directors indirectly infer not only has Spears been set up for some kind of blame, the entire picture is off-center. Sure, the #FreeBritney movement has become a cause célèbre, and the documentary shows Cher, Miley Cyrus, and others hoisting flags during concerts. But when Britney shaved her head and told people to stop touching her, she was a late-night talk show joke regurgitated on daytime game shows.

The documentary highlights how, from the moment Britney took off Mouseketeer ears and got ground through the American pop-star machine, she was a target and an easy score. “Her rise was a global phenomenon,” the FX advance press promised. “Her downfall was a cruel national sport.” One segment of the documentary shows a chorus line of well-known names making sport of Spears. The series shows Justin Timberlake treating radio interviews like locker rooms, and Us Weekly heading the cheerleading squad.

The piece sheds a completely different light on Spears’ public breakdown in 2007 and 2008. While an interview with former MTV VJ Dave Holmes reveals how professional, friendly and focused she was on set, one the paparazzi squad talks about ducking the famous umbrella attack. Even in retrospect, he doesn’t get it. He still doesn’t think his actions, chasing the pop singer around in a car while she tended intricate family business, had anything to do with her beating on his car door with an umbrella in the middle of the night. He acknowledges Britney had told him to lay off, but the cameraman assumed the requests applied to specific moments, not forever. It makes it seem Britney had to advise the paparazzi on a case-by-case photo op basis. Who does that?

One of the highlights of the documentary comes at a big announcement of her second Las Vegas residency in early 2019. Britney, who did her share of comedy acting on Saturday Night Live, does a perfectly broad impression of a Mel Brooks late-night Tonight Show appearance. She walks onto the stage and keeps walking. It is art. It is a major statement from the fabricated pop star.

One of the sad truths the documentary inadvertently points out is a series of artistic “what might have been” scenarios. Known only as a singer and dancer, we’ve never gotten to know the singer as a musician, because everyone cared about the gossip. People dismiss Britney as a dance pop artist without thinking that dance pop is an art. In spite of its intentionally static rhythms, it is often more intricate musically than rock. Britney, the artist, never stopped looking to expand the sounds. She was one of the pioneers of dubstep, taking it from the London club scene to the tops of all international charts. The documentary shows a series of unrelentingly harrowing questions about dating, boys, and the dangers of her young feminine sexuality. At one point Britney has to respond on camera to the news that some mother in the Bible Belt wants to shoot her dead. “I’m nobody’s babysitter,” the singer mouths, ad-libbing like the young professional she is, before cameras linger a little too long.

Ultimately, The New York Times Presents gives us a horror documentary, as scary and unfathomable as The Blair Witch Project, only more chilling because it is not fiction. Even Stephen King veers from this kind of harrowing suspense. It’s a pop-up, and you have to wait for it. They don’t reveal it until the end credits, though we’ve known it from the beginning. As the producers are thanking their contributors, they mention they reached out to Britney Spears herself. She never responded. They don’t even know if she got the message. This is dramatic brilliance. It is subtle, effective, and as the final visual burning in the mind’s eye, provocatively expansive.

“Framing Britney” is worth watching for the details, the history it tells, and the history it captures inadvertently by virtue of its hybrid journalistic filmmaking. This is Millennial Media and it is fitting the subject is Britney Spears, the most iconic figure of that generation. The full-length documentary, without ever expressly proclaiming it, shows how the star is being saved by her peers. An entire community, linked with nothing but love for their favorite singer, comes together to do right by her. It’s their prerogative. K-Pop fans showed the power of their stans as political weapons. “Framing Britney” presents entirely new possibilities.

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The New York Times Presents “Framing Britney Spears” debuts Feb. 5 on FX and FX on Hulu.

The post Framing Britney Spears Review: FX Doc Is a Pop Horror Story appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[justlovehamm]

Andrew Hammond’s Rolling Stone Top 25

Thought it would be fun to rerank the Rolling Stone top 25. 

The first number is my ranking, then band, album, the Rolling Stone ranking, then my personal favorite song. 

Without further ado...

25.Nirvana- Nevermind (6) Smells Like Teen Spirit?

24.The Velvet Underground- The Velvet Underground and Nico (23) Sunday Morning Ok this is another album that I’ve always thought got way too much hype. With a little more of an open mind, I think I do like The Velvet Underground and Nico more, having sat down and given it a couple more listens. Would it be in my personal top 25? Absolutely not. But here we are. I do hear how it influences a lot of the music I do like, but I just can’t get there with this one.

23.Carole King- Tapestry (25) Where You Lead

Through high school and college I worked at HEB. Off and on for eight years at HEB meant I developed a new genre of music: HEB Song. An HEB song has a little elevator music, a little yacht rock, a little boy band, and a lot of Carole King. This probably comes across as a backhanded compliment, but I really do appreciate someone mastering a specific sound even if it’s the sound most likely to get you to pull two bags of chips from the shelf and not just one. Where You Lead receives the favorite song nod because of its connection to Mellisa McCarthy’s breakout show, Gilmore GIrls. A favorite show of my mom and mine growing up.

22.The Notorious B.I.G.- Ready to Die (22) Juicy

A real up and down album that ends up being a little bloated once you listen to it straight through. Never a good sign when you start thinking to yourself “we are still listening to this B.I.G. album?” Juicy on its own would be pretty high up on a top songs list. “Birthdays was the worst days; now we sip Champagne when we thirsty,” my favorite line from that song.

21.Kendrick Lamar- To Pimp a Butterfly (19) Momma

Kind of a tricky one for me, since I think good kid, m A.A.d city runs laps around any other Lamar album. This choice feels a little like a reach by Rolling Stone to include something from the most recent decade in the top twenty five. My favorite parts of To Pimp a Butterfly are the Flying Lotus and Kamasi Washington influenced sounds. The avant garde lo-fi jazz sound that lurks beneath what Lamar spits out makes for a great combination. Great late night jam that took me back to my days in college when I’d play Flying Lotus late at night while studying. 

20.Bob Dylan- Highway 61 Revisited (18) Like a Rolling Stone 

 Highway 61 Revisted was the first Dylan album I listened to thanks to my dad. So I guess I knew electric Bob before I even knew there was an acoustic Bob. Like a Rolling Stone can be debated about whether or not it is a GOAT song, but it’s easily the greatest f-you song. Verse three sticks out especially. Diplomats stealing hits home pretty quickly these days. 

19.Public Enemy- It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back (15) Don’t Believe the Hype 

 The funniest album on the list, no question. Flavor Flav really brings the comic relief to Chuck D’s social commentary. Speaking of laughable, the initial Rolling Stone top 500  had It Takes a Nation as the only rap album in the top one hundred. For sure. Released in 1988, It Takes a Nation unfortunately fights the same battles that To Pimp a Butterfly is fighting twenty seven years later. The production bites your ears so viciously, and then just keeps chewing. An unrelenting record that demands the listeners attention, and the attention of the powers at be. 

18.Aretha Franklin- I Never Loved a Man the Way I Love You (13) Respect 

 I feel like this album should be higher, but here we are once again. Aretha not getting any respect. I recently watched the Sister Act movies, and couldn’t help but wonder how the movies would turn out if she replaced Whoopi Goldberg. Spoiler alert: they’d be even better. Aretha’s voice really is that good, by the way. Take some time to listen to this album on a cold day, and let that gospel voice warm you up from the heart. The album cover perfectly captures that sixties black female aesthetic as well. 

17.Michael Jackson- Thriller (12) Beat It

Ok. I know this is a #hammondhottake, but I really do believe what I’m about to say, and not just trying to get clicks. Thriller has a lot of great songs, but as a whole ends up being less than the sum of its parts. Is it possible to have too much pop? If this were a top twenty five songs list I’m sure I’d have Thriller songs higher, but as a complete albumThriller lacks depth. With the recent death of Eddie Van Halen, Beat It gets the nod for my favorite track. Such an iconic guitar riff that Eddie uses to tell white America it’s ok to like this black man’s music. 

16.The Beatles- Revolver (11) Tomorrow Never Knows Over time this album has become more critically acclaimed; maybe even surpassing Abbey Road or Sgt Pepper’s. I still have it behind those two, but Revolver is no slouch. Coming out firing with Taxman, this album lays a great framework for Sgt. Pepper’s to later fill in only nine (!!!) months later. Iit makes sense that I would have Sgt. Pepper’s ranked higher since my favorite song on Revolver is Tomorrow Never Knows.  You can imagine how I felt when my favorite show went to credits playing this LSD inspired track. 

15.Bob Dylan- Blood on the Tracks (9) Lily, Rosemary, and the Jack of Hearts

Thanks to listening to this album and Highway 61 Revisited, Dorothy now knows how to imitate Bob Dylan. “It’s meeeeee Bobbbbb!” This album hits hard, especially during the Fall. While sitting on the porch watching the leaves fall I keep imagining each one of them as a different character in Dylan’s tales. Lily, Rosemary, and The Jack of Hearts fall through the air mingling and dancing, taking twists and turns as Dylan’s characters often do in his extended songs.

14.Prince & the Revolution- Purple Rain (8) Let’s Go Crazy

Full disclosure: I have not seen Purple Rain, I’ve only listened to the soundtrack. The one regret I have on our wedding day was not playing Let’s Go Crazy to start the reception danceathon. Dearly beloved… Maybe a post-COVID danceathon will have to start off with this iconic track. I hate when you hear this on the radio and the opening is cut out. You need  to have the set up before you can go crazy. This is the album you give to an alien who asks you what the eighties sounded like. Price creates such a definitive sound with this album. True talent captures a specific time and place, and then makes it timeless.

13.The Beach Boys- Pet Sounds (2) God Only Knows

Go read the Wikipedia on all the technical stuff that this album did for the first time. It’s all over my head, but does factor into the ranking here. I have to trust the studio nerds on this one, because at the end of the day it’s about the destination, not the journey. The Beach Boys create such a warm, beautiful sound, and you don’t need to know how they got it to hear the richness within it. I think a good life goal is to find someone or some-ones to whom you can genuinely sing God Only Knows and mean every single word. One of the best love songs ever. This album inspired The Beatles to make Sgt. Pepper’s, so we also can give thanks for that as well.

12.The Clash- London Calling (16) Lost in the Supermarket

What an opening bass line!! London! Calling! Pure energy in an album that keeps you pumped the whole time. A lot of high tempos, and the slower songs get their energy from the howling bass lines or Joe Strummer’s gruff voice. Like Songs in the Key of LifeI, I appreciate this album more and more as I get older. The lyrics again hit me different than they did when I was younger. Coming out two years before Margaret Thatcher became Prime Minister, London Calling accurately describes the inequalities in London that she only exacerbated during her ministry. London Calling: come for the energy, stay for the class critique.

11.Fleetwood Mac- Rumours (7) Dreams

Funny this list came out right before the Tik Tok of quarantine dropped. Ha! So funny if they bumped Rumours up just because of it. Rumours has a crazy background to it, so check out the Wikipedia page to get all the gossip. I really want to talk about the ultimate backhanded compliment, Rumours being a perfect example. Is it mean to say an album is the perfect background music? I love Rumours because I can listen to it while staring at the ceiling, and it has enough going on to keep me engaged. But it might actually be a better listen if you are doing something else. Cooking, dinner conversation, playing with the kids, etc. I mean this is the best way. I really do love this album.

10.The Beatles- Abbey Road (5) Golden Slumbers 9.The Beatles- Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band (24) Within You and Without You

My high school self would've ranked these albums much higher than I did here. I onced listened to the entire Beatles discography straight through. Nbd. Within You and Without You is my favorite Beatles song (breaking the tie with Abbey Road). This song comes in right behind Born to Run for GOAT opening side two song. But, speaking of side twos, Abbey Road…what a doozie. From You Never Give Me Your Money till The End, each track raises the stakes. Golden Slumbers is my favorite. Both of these albums are hard to talk about really. What hasn’t been said? They also fall victim to being so in the zeitgeist that you end up taking them for granted. The Lebron James of classic rock albums maybe? Just incredibly high expectations going into the release. They deliver a masterpiece, yet people sleep on them despite actually delivering on the astronomical expectations.

8.Stevie Wonder- Songs in the Key of Life (4) As

Rolling Stone’s highest rated double album. I’ve always known of this album, but having sat down and really listened to it straight though I appreciate it even more. Now that I’m older, this album rewards mature ears more than others on this list. Wondering aloud, could Stevie make the same album without making the previous 17(!) prior to it? Taking time to figure out who you are as a musician, and then delivering a mature album like this has to feel so satisfying for an artist. Final thought: love the cymbal on As.

7.Joni Mitchell- Blue (3) River

Maybe it’s the changing weather? Maybe it’s the clarity of sound in a house with two little girls? Still trying to figure out how Joni Mitchell’s Blue went from “the one with Mitchell’s Christmas song” to “the one where I can’t sit on the porch without playing it.” The quieter songs work better for me. Mitchell’s voice pairs so well with her acoustic guitar or piano. Mitchell wrote River in Chapel Hill while caroling with James Taylor, and I’ll be singing this to the girls this Christmas.

6.Kanye West- My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy (17) Runaway

Power: track three on this album, and also the best word to describe the sound Kanye creates with this tour de force. There are all time bangers going down the track listing: Power. All of the Lights. Monster. Runaway. Lost in the World. What do the last ten years of rap and R&B look like if My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy never comes out? Is this the most influential rap album this century? Kanye has a lot of baggage these days, but don’t throw this album out with the bathwater.

5.The Rolling Stones- Exile on Main St. (14) Torn and Frayed

Much mythologized, Exile on Main St. has none of the hits but all of the groove. I do think without the background and circumstances Exile might not be remembered as fondly. I still love it though. The rough bluesy tracks like Torn and Frayed especially stand out to me. To picture them trapped in a house in France banging out these tracks give them an even greater life. Given those circumstances, it makes sense that this is a great quarantine album to have playing in the background.  

4.Marvin Gaye- What’s Going On (1) What’s Going On

The most political album on the list, and partly why Rolling Stone moved it up to number one after ranking it six in 2003. I am more than ok with it being one. I would say Gaye and Franklin would be one or two if you listed these albums on vocals alone. Gaye’s smooth voice almost works against him while singing such gritty lyrics. Clocking in at 35 minutes I do wonder if there is something about knowing when to stop and saying, “This is the album. We’ve said all we need to say.” Although number five on my list might say otherwise...

3.Radiohead- Kid A (20) Everything in Its Right Place

When will this album start to sound old? If this came out next week it would still seem ahead of its time. I have yet to see Radiohead live. Not holding my breath, but I do hear my favorite song as my alarm goes off every morning. . Waking up to Everything in Its Right Place gives me a sense that today everything will be as it should be. What will happen will happen, and I will resolutely go about the day. Or as Optimistic reminds us, “the best you can is good enough.” This is Radiohead’s best.

2.Lauryn Hill- The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill (10) Can’t Take My Eyes Off You

What an interesting career. Her only solo studio album, but what a tour de force. It always catches me by surprise how long the album is (clocking in at 69:20), but it never really drags. Justine and I danced to Can’t Take My Eyes Off You for our first dance. I often wonder how Hill would respond to hearing that a rural white male resonates with her music. She’d probably hate it since it seems like that’s what sort of turned her off from the music industry in general. Still Processing does an excellent job of reflecting on her career on this podcast.

1.Bruce Springsteen- Born to Run (21) Born to Run

This was an easy choice for me once I saw it in the top twenty five. I am actually surprised Darkness on the Edge of Town didn’t beat out B2R (as Bruce puts it when writing set lists). Darkness seems more fitting for these times than Born to Run, not that songs like Backstreets or Meeting Across the River can’t capture the current malaise. Home, to me, sounds like the harmonica and piano duet at the beginning of Thunder Road. GOAT opening side-two track: Born to Run. One of my first COVID memories is watching this on the second Sunday of lockdown. So electric. It gives me comfort to know that I’ll be listening to these eight songs for the rest of my life.

[samdukewieland]

Stuck Inside Media Diary Week 4

On my birthday I made a 100 song playlist for myself with the criteria of choosing my Top 20 favorite bands/musicians, five songs from their catalog-preferably only one song per album-and that was it. This was part-exercise-part-how-do-I-celebrate-myself-and-my-excellently-unique-tastes-on-the-one-day-this-is-allowed. I had already gone through the painstakingly unasked for “challenge” of whittling down of a Top 5 for a project in college and it’s gone unchanged in the past four years, and being the way that I am, I am generally always considering what the Top 10 would be. Anything beyond Top 10 is egregious, but because I was deeply unsatisfied with a 25 song playlist, I just kept going until I settled on 20 and 100. 

It then dawned on me (I couldn’t sleep that night, BIRTHDAY JITTERS and all that) afterwards that this is technically a list of what I’d consider to be the top 100 songs and that was just all wrong. I love every song on that playlist; I chose obvious songs and I chose obscure deep cuts that would make yer average me chuckle and say “heh, that one huh?” But if I were asked to make a list of the 100 greatest songs ever recorded, I don’t think I could leave off something like “Hey Jude” (The Beatles) or “Wonderful World” (Sam Cooke) or “The Champ” (Ghostface Killah) and yet I did. What a dweeb.

Sunday, April 12

Starship Troopers, Verhoeven 1997

Listen, I love Paul Verhoeven. This is my least favorite Paul Verhoeven movie and it’s still incredible. And it’s a me issue too (though, I’m not taking all the blame here-this obvious issues here are that there’s no good actor here besides Michael Ironside, Jake Busey and Neil Patrick Harris), though I think that’s part of the point of it. Or at the very least there’s been enough revisionist history and nostalgia slapped onto this thing that Denise Richards gets a pass-“well yeh, she’s bad on purpose” they’ll say; this movie is lemonade.

Three Busy Debras, “Sleepover!”

Probably the biggest difference between Three Busy Debras and Stella (which is what Three Busy Debras reminds me of the most) is that Stella was so unconcerned about saying anything about anything. This is not a knock on Debras, not in the least bit, but that’s ultimately what I landed on when I was thinking about the two next to each other. Three Busy Debras is very good and very, very funny and reminds me of one of my favorite television comedies to ever exist.

Beef House, “Boro”

When I went and saw Tim And Eric’s live tour back in January they were going to show the first episode of Beef House after the main show, but then they surprised us by having John C. Reilly come out as Steve Brule and do a bit with an audience member for like 15 minutes, probably less time. Watch Beef House if you like Tim and Eric, but you already know that if you do.

Joe Pera Talks With You, “Joe Pera Lights Up The Night With You”, “Joe Pera Talks to You About the Rat Wars of Alberta, Canada (1950–Present Day)”

At this point you can tell that I probably just turned on Adult Swim after finishing Starship Troopers and just kept it on, because a Sunday night on Adult Swim is the only thing that could rival an HBO Sunday night. Alright, so I had only ever seen one episode of Joe Pera Talks With You before these two episodes and I liked it fine, but didn’t have great context for it and was probably just not in a great headspace for it. Sure, I liked it fine back when I had watched that episode, but I was not motivated to continue watching it and I didn’t. Until this particular night. I know for sure that I’ll be writing more about it next week, so I’m just going to say now that this makes for incredible “watch before bed” programming.

Mad Men, “Smoke Gets In Your Eyes” [Series Premier]

And thus the great Mad Men re-watch has begun. I’ve only watched this all the way through once and that’s when I got caught up on the DVDs for season 4 back was when I was in high school. This pilot is one of the most pilot-y pilots I’ve seen/re-watched in a long while, and maybe it’s so glaring to me because of what I studied in college and how I just generally spend a lot of my time as a person. But it’s a very old fashioned pilot, maybe the last prestige TV classical pilot? You just don’t see very many shows now that have their first episode be as thirsty for another shot as this one is. Not bad, but more just very in your face.

Monday, April 13

Rashomon, Kurosawa 1950 [this might be available on Criterion-I just DVR’d it]

Baby’s first Kurosawa. This one has really stuck with me, just in its simplicity in telling a story and I’m going to stop talking about it here, one because like we really need another 26-year-old white dude talking about Akira Kurosawa movies and two, should I continue to talk about this movie, I will turn even more into what I hate and who I consider to be my arch-enemies: the film school kids.

Parks And Recreation, “Rock Show” [Season 1 finale]

Whenever I start a Parks re-watch, I always start with “Rock Show.” It’s now just in full fledged Simpsons territory that I wouldn’t be able to tell you how many times I’ve seen certain episodes and that it is incredibly comforting to watch where I can turn off brain while watching, but know exactly when to start re-paying attention because of jokes I like. I don’t know when it’ll be as recognized as The Simpsons (maybe it never will be?) or seen as the true predecessor, but it’ll feel good once it does. Though if there’s a show that demonstrated how irrelevant recognition for hard work was, it was Parks.

Tuesday, April 14

The Wicker Man, Hardy 1973 [as of now this is available on Netflix]

I feel confident that I’ve lied to friends of mine about having seen this movie. Pretty easy to do, considering it’s a pretty straight forward story and you can get by with saying stuff like “I mean yeh, it’s just like a pretty fucked up movie.” And it is! on both accounts. Though I guess not as unsettling as I figured it would be, but as soon as the animal masks come out I did get squirmy. That and choir singing folk music with vaguely disturbing lyrics juxtaposed over not totally right images-it’s like the opposite feeling when someone uses “Perfect Day” too ironically.

Better Call Saul, “Bad Choice Road”

Kim. Wexler. I guess what I love about Vince Gilligan is that he zags (though zagging in this case is kind of old fashioned) and saves his big thing to happen for a season’s finale and not the penultimate episode. But he doesn’t rob you of a wild penultimate episode either-just kind of nice and takes confidence.

Parks And Recreation, “Pawnee Zoo”

Wednesday, April 15

Obvious Child, Robespierre 2014 [as of now this is available on Netflix]

Got sick Wednesday night, ralphed twice!, and needed something I absolutely didn’t have to think about. I had started watching this probably like a year and a half ago in a waiting room while my mom was getting some kind of dental procedure done and had never picked it back up after putting 20 minutes down. It’s good, though I think it resonates better for other people than it did with me, but that’s no knock. Loved very dialed in Gaby Hoffmann and it feels like Max Silvestri mighta supposed to originally have the Jake Lacy part, but Jake Lacy is contractually obligated to play this sort of part whenever it is written into existence every year or so. Tough break.

Parks And Recreation, “The Stake Out”

Thursday, April 16

Targets, Bogdanovich 1968

I caught this recommendation from....I think Matt Singer on twitter and also @nextontcm​ (which is a first tier twitter follow) and man, this thing is great! I forgot that Bogdanovich comes from the Roger Corman school of directing, but ole Rog doesn’t let you forget with this one. It’s a movie I would imagine Steven Soderbergh really likes (and I say that, because The Limey is the only other movie that I know of that uses another movie’s footage in reference to one of the characters in the movie-like I’m sure there’s other, I haven’t seen every movie, leave me alone). TCM’s apparently doing a podcast series on Bogdanovich, which is kind of weird, but he did a short interview with Ben Mankiewicz afterwards and it was hilarious, because surprising no one, Peter Bogdanovich really doesn’t give a shit about what he says anymore.

Top Chef, Season 17 episode 5

This was the first time in Jen’s Top Chef career where she didn’t fall victim to the yips, which shows progress. But it’s also helping make the case that Jen Carroll might be the worst evaluated draftee in all of Top Chef? That sounds harsh, and I have no doubt that Jen Carroll is phenomenal, this just doesn’t seem to be her strength; there’s no rule that says competitive people have to always be good at what they get competitive about.

Mad Men, “Ladies Room”, “Marriage Of Figaro”

It’s weird seeing Don not as partner, but just a dude who’s really good at his job that people respect, but is also not in charge of everything and doesn’t aspire to be in charge of everything. Though not without trying to be in control of everything. I haven’t watched this since I was in high school, so I’ve both forgotten a lot of stuff and also just like know more about life and characters and didn’t realize how sad of a character Pete is. Man, Vincent Karheiser really doesn’t get enough credit for how good he is as Pete Campbell, a character who could’ve easily been just another Christopher Moltisanti (full disclosure: Christopher is in contention for favorite Sopranos character) and is so much sadder in a different way. 

However, I’m still just dumb guy, and maybe that’s not the complete reason, but there’s some Betty stuff that is just like not very interesting. I think if they had gone down an avenue of “let’s try and radicalize her with Kennedy” story, that would’ve worked better than other stuff, but I don’t know. Betty’s complicated! But that she has to be the character that bridges Glen’s story to the main one is incredibly detrimental.

Friday, April 17

Parks And Recreation, “Beauty Pagent”

Brooklyn Nine-Nine, “Ransom”

Every season needs at least one Cheddar episode. This is not at all a controversial opinion, but it’s worth saying out loud in case anyone thought differently.

Big Night, Scott & Tucci 1995 [as of now this is available on Amazon Prime]

When Ian Holm isn’t running away with this, Isabella Rossellini (Big Beef and Cheddar in hand) is and when Isabella Rossellini isn’t running away with this, Minnie Driver is and when Minnie Driver isn’t running away with this, Tucci and Sheloub just keep passing it back and forth to each other while Liev Schreiber just silently stares at them from afar. This is a fantastic way to spend a Friday evening.

Mad Men, “New Amsterdam”, “5G”

Saturday, April 18

Parks And Recreation, “Practice Date”, “Sister City”, “Kaboom”

“Practice Date” is the first “modern” episode of Parks. “Sister City” feels like one they had drafted for S1 and just couldn’t figure out how to get it in there (it’s definitely not a bad episode, but it feels way more like steps backward than forward). “Kaboom” is a wonderfully silly episode and a great debut for Aisha Muharrar (who is a Tier 1 Parks writer-please don’t ask me to rank them).

Defiance, Zwick 2008 [as of now this is available on Netflix]

I had never watched this movie, because in the back of my head I’ve always suspected it would be real dumb and bad, because a WWII movie with Daniel Craig and Liev Schreiber, on paper, should be something people talk about more, but nah, this thing’s real dumb and bad. But not even fun-bad, just forgettable bad. It’s dumb-guy-Munich. 

Mad Men, “Babylon”, “Red In The Face”, “The Hobo Code”, “Shoot”

The Dick Whitman childhood really suffers from Al Swearengen just having a much better “raised by whores” story and also you can tell that Matthew Weiner thinks he’s doing important work by writing this stuff. And not to sound like a blog from 2007-2015, but Rachel really was the perfect match for Draper, holy shit. It’s also this stretch of episodes where Peggy starts to shine and Elizabeth Moss is definitely someone I take for granted, because I don’t really have to think about how good she is, because I know she’s good, but man she is really good at playing Peggy Olson. What an MVP.