#the uncomfortable thing about having people but feeling so very alone

[imfinereallyy]

“What are your nightmares about?” Eddie asked Steve as they both stared at the ceiling in the darkness of Eddie’s room.

It was colder than his last place. Sure, Steve had only truly been in the trailer the one time, and there had been a literal portal to hell in the middle of but still. It was warmer there. The new place was bigger for sure. A whole two bedrooms in an apartment building where the loudest thing you could hear was the floorboards creek or Eddie’s metal music at a respectable 5 pm. That was thing though, Steve thought. It was quiet here. Cold and closed off. There was no sense of home in the new Munson house. The trailer had character and depth. It had a story to tell. It welcomed you and asked you to stick around.

This place was just empty.

Steve knew it all too intimately how more doesn’t always mean comfort. It’s why he didn’t spend time at his own house very often anymore. It wasn’t much of a home.

“Everything. You name it, I’ve probably nightmared it.”

“That’s not a real word.”

“Munson, I think out of all people you do not get to comment on things being made up.” Steve turned his head to face Eddie in his bed. Steve couldn’t help but trace Eddie’s face with his eyes. Even in the moonlight that peeked through the blinds of the Munson’s third-floor wall up, Eddie was undeniably pretty.

Eddie kept his eyes trained on the ceiling. “First off, rude. Second, you’re avoiding the question.”

“Well, why do you want to know?” Steve whispered, matching the same tone Eddie broke the silence with. He wasn’t sure why they were talking in such hushed tones. No one else was home.

Eddie sighed, “You’re a pain Harrington you know that? I’m not sure who gets it from who when it comes to you and Henderson. It’s just—“

Eddie shifted around to his side to face Steve's head. Steve noticed the bags had worsened since he last spent the night here. Steve had thought Eddie’s nightmares were getting better over the last few weeks. Steve had been staying with him at night but hadn't been there recently.

Initially, Steve had told Eddie after Vecna that he should contact any of them if the nightmares got bad. Told him it would be good to have someone anchor him when he woke up. Steve had been Robin’s anchor for over a year. Robin had even told him once that he grounded her, and kept her sane on the bad nights.

Eddie had waved him off at the time. It had taken months before he fessed up to having trouble sleeping. Steve’s heart had warmed a little at the idea Eddie had reached out to him of all people. Steve knew he shouldn’t have been surprised but even though they had built a slow easy friendship, it was hard for Steve to believe that people needed him for more than rides.

It was nice.

Steve had thought Eddie was doing better though and wouldn’t want him around as much anymore. That Eddie wouldn’t want to deal with Steve’s own nightmares. So he hadn’t been to Eddie’s in a week. It was when Steve had another nightmare about Lovers Lake that he caved and called Eddie.

Eddie didn’t hesitate before saying a rushed “Come over.”

Maybe they both needed each other.

Eddie blew a breath across Steve’s face, he couldn’t help but smile at the man's antics.

“It’s just, I feel like my nightmares should be of Chrissy and the bats. Ya know? Like, I do get those. They make sure to have their reruns right on schedule. But the nightmares I get the most are either me waiting in the van while you all are in Warzone or me in Dustin’s arms after the bats. Not during but after.”

Steve stayed silent, careful not to interrupt Eddie.

“And every time I’m in that stupid trailer waiting and waiting and waiting. Sometimes nothing happens and I’m left to rot. Other times Jason Carver comes busting through to door with a gun pointed at my face. The worst one is when one of you guys comes in and tells me to get out, I’m not worth the trouble.” Eddie sucked his lip between his teeth and bit hard. “And when I’m laying in Dustin’s arms, I can never get words out. I’m struggling. But not even like I’m fighting to stay alive, it’s almost as if I’m trying everything but that. And I can’t get the words for Dustin. Everything is wrong. And sometimes…sometimes Dustin will tell me that I’ve “done something useful for once.” Eddie finished with a shameful grimace.

Steve thought about this new place. How it was cold. How it hadn’t become a home yet. As if Eddie was anticipating being ripped from it once again. Like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Eddie, Steve realized, didn’t feel like he was permanent anymore.

Steve decided to be bold for once in his life about a good thing and pulled out Eddie's lip from his teeth. Steve let his fingers linger for a moment on the worried flesh before reaching out to gently comb his hand through Eddie’s hair. “Lover’s Lake.”

“What?” Eddie questioned, a little breathless.

“Lovers lake is what I have nightmares about the most. Not the bats. Not the Russians. That stupid lake.”

“I mean you were pulled into another dimension by a bat tail, I would call that pretty traumatizing.” Eddie leaned his head into Steve's soft movements.

“Here’s the thing: that’s not the part that scares me Ed’s.” Steve took a deep breath before he gives Eddie a piece of himself he thought would be his own forever. “It was the drowning that gets me. It’s the being able to break the surface to only be back pulled under again. The loss of control. It’s because this very thing is so mundane, even if the circumstances weren’t, it was something that could happen to me at anytime. There didn’t need to be an Upside Down or a Vecna. I could be pulled under the surface at any moment. I could be forced to leave you all behind, lose myself in something I should know how to do. My limited knowledge on even the things I should be good at isn’t enough sometimes. I am just vulnerable and disposable."

Steve pushed out a shaky breath. Eddie scooched forward into Steve's space. It was as if Eddie knew that the warmth of his body alone would comfort him.

"I'm not sure if I am making much sense. I'm not very good at describing things."

Steve could feel Eddie nod up and down with the light brush of his bangs against Steve's forehead. "No, no I get it. Don't do that. Don't put yourself down just cause your vulnerable."

"You noticed that, huh?" Steve looked into Eddie's doe eyes.

"Kinda hard not to notice things about ya Stevie."

Steve melted.

"Please continue," Eddie asked in a rare form of politeness. The metalhead was used to demanding things. Not when it came to Steve though, Steve had observed lately.

"Right. Well, I guess my subconscious picks up on like my deep fears and like mixes them with my trauma. Do not give me that look yes I learned those words from Dustin and Robin."

Eddie let out a snort. Steve couldn't help but smile. Even at his own expense, he was just happy to make Eddie feel a little bit better. "I guess what I'm saying is, I felt useless in that moment. Or even I had given the last useful thing about me to the Upside Down, to this evil awful thing, and no one would really care or know. That moment just took on every fear I've had and pulled me under. My gravestone would say: Here lies Steve Harrington. Never had control, useless thing that no one ever really knew."

"Sweetheart..."

Steve cleared his throat. "My nightmares have a funny way of bringing up my very human fears. The things I still can't get away from. There are some days that I even wake up gasping for air like there is still water in my lungs. And all I can think is no one is coming for me, no one cares. And I just sit there, staring at the phone on my desk, still gasping for air not bothering to call anyone. Because what if no one picks up? It is better to avoid than know the truth sometimes. That I was born alone, lived alone, and will most likely die alone."

The heaviness was back in the air once again. Eddie grabbed Steve's hand between them and gripped tight. When Eddie squeezed it said I'm right here, I'm always right here.

"Until tonight. You called tonight."

"I guess I did. I guess I felt...I felt like even if you couldn't help me, didn't want me, you would still pick up."

Eddie's eyes filled with tears. "Always."

"Thank you, Eds. But now it's your turn."

They stared into each other's eyes as Eddie spoke, "I feel like I am drifting sometimes... like I am not really here. I know that I am wanted. By Wayne, by the kids, by you." Eddie said hopefully. Steve nodded. "Just... I don't have much purpose anymore. That maybe my life was supposed to end in the Upside Down. I'm not like suicidal or anything. But what if like I wasn't meant to be here. And that I am just bothering everyone. I don't—I don't feel like I am giving much. I don't play guitar anymore. Can't get through a solo without cringing. D&D has become too real. I'm not sure I can do it, at least not right now. I'm done with high school, the reasons why Higgin's gave me my degree doesn't really matter, I have my diploma. I'm not going back. No one will hire me, and I'm not even sure I want to work. I'm just here, wasting."

It was Steve's turn to squeeze Eddie back. His squeeze said in my space you are never wasted.

"Eds, I know I don't have much ground to stand on but I don't think there is a big difference between wanting to die and feeling like it's okay if you do. I should know, I spent years throwing myself in front of others. I think you should talk to someone, professionally."

Eddie gave Steve a look that said a bit hypocritical ya think?

"Okay yea, maybe I'm being unfair. It's just, Eddie, I need you to know something and I need you to listen close, okay?" Steve unclasped his hand from Eddie's and moved it to the right side of his face. Then, Steve removed his fingers from Eddie's hair a moved it down to the left side. Steve brushed his thumbs back and forth on Eddie's cheeks. "You are so much more than your hobbies. Then the things you do to fill up your time. Those things can change. They can switch, and turn back around. You're magnificent because you are you. You are Eddie Munson. A man who is much more a lover than a fighter. Who heals people with laughter and affection. He's the guy who steals the room with his "hello" alone. You are bright, you are beautiful and you are everything, even when you are wasting time. Because any of us, especially me, would be lucky to waste time with you."

Eddie's tears were now rolling down his face. "Really?"

"Yea Eds. Really. I don't want to speak for the rest of the party, but I can tell you that they think the world of you. I know you know you're wanted, but Eds you're needed. You are the lungs of this group. You help us breathe. Relief, laughter, life. All because of you."

Eddie released a wet laugh. "Not the heart?"

Steve giggled against Eddie. "No. Not the heart. According to the kids Mike has that role. Personally I think that's ridiculous but that may be because of my own problems with the little shit, so I'll let it slide."

Eddie fully chuckled this time. "Okay Stevie I'll make you a deal."

Steve continued to brush his thumbs on Eddie's face, this time he got to dig his thumbs into the dimples of Eddi'es cheeks. "Listening."

"I'm going to try more. Not try to make myself feel purposeful, but to just try. Try to be there, be present. Even if it's just so I can see that dopey smile of yours." Steve threw his head back and laughed. Eddie's smile grew wide. "And on the bad days, I'll try to talk. To Wayne. To Robin. To you. I don't want to hide anymore. I think I've spent enough time doing that. But you got to promise me something back. I need you to talk too. I need you to believe in yourself a little more. Because you Steve Harrington are extraordinary, and you are not alone. I am always here. And I will remind you every day if I have to for you to get that no one in this world compares to you. Deal?"

Eddie put his head against Steve's head, finally closing some of the space between them. Not all the way. Maybe someday.

Steve thought about how cold it was here. How he wanted to Eddie feel at home again, make him radiate that warmth he once held. He thought about how he would do anything to get it.

Steve brushed his nose against Eddie's, "Deal."

———

as usual i write a small thing that turns into a BIG thing. I am incapable of creating teeny works. I will try better lol. Anyway this came from me not being able to sleep and having massive anxiety so I decided to create it into something. Enjoy :)

[pepprs]

ok so. today i am going to

fly (and travel at all) by myself for the first time since making the emergency return home from br!ghton bc of c0vid 4 years ago (extremely distressing and scary experience). and fly by myself two weeks after a mixed bag of a conference experience / plane ride home that included a massive scary depressive spiral that i had someone there to help me through as much as they could but it wasn’t enough which was absolutely not their fault but was deeply distressing to me at the time. so im about to be in a very similar environment but this time that person won’t be physically with me and it’s going to wreck my brain in multiple directions in part bc i have not yet recovered from the depressive spiral. i am still in it. lawl <3

ride in an uber by myself for the first time. ride in an uber at all for maybe the 5th time. as a very short young woman. which i have been expressedly warned by my parents not to do. lol <3

check into a hotel by myself for the first time

walk in a big city by myself for the first time (technically slightly untrue bc wjen i was last in ch!cago 5 years ago i did power walk from the hotel to the conference venue (like a block away) on the last day bc i was pissed about a situation but that was like… a block and i saw ppl i knew walking in that area. this time i will be in the same city and know no one at least for today

give myself a self care evening at the recommendation of my therapist…. for the first time. (maybe after i take a walk which i will do specifically when it’s still light out to see what the area is like). tonight no one i know will be in ch!cago yet and i have no plans to do anything. im going to play video games and draw and sing and give myself space and time to just enjoy being by myself and see how it goes

[artemisaed]

[baltears]

being told to do anything i don’t want to do for the sake of pleasing family is an immediate off switch for me. brain shutdown only hostility and refusal i literally don’t even care what it is

[be-good-to-bugs]

why havent i been talking to the much much cooler and better older sister who is a furry and super nice and fun to talk to and cares about my opinions and feelings instead of the one who cant respect boundaries and makes me feel like a mistake and doesnt care abt how i feel

[abandonedandforgottentimes]

Many of the younger ccs speaking up about Wilbur's manipulation is INCREDIBLY concerning, and I don't think they'll be the last. I think it's also a big indication that it happened to Tommy too, and that he'll take a while to respond. People demanding an immediate response need to remember that he was likely a victim of it too, he just may not have been aware of it.

I mean, Wilbur's ADMITTED he relied on Tommy for his mental health when he was still a minor. That is NOT something adults should ever do and it has always been odd to me. It also makes it very hard for the minor involved to leave the friendship, since they see themselves as responsible for the older person. I don't think I need to really go into how unhealthy that sort of thing is, it isn't an uncommon occurrence and lot of people will have a better explanation than me. But it is something to keep in mind, that Tommy may feel responsible or have been groomed to excuse the behavior.

The library stream is another example of the manipulation, and I'm surprised no one is talking about it. Tommy literally talked about how uncomfortable he was at Wilbur's house. It was cold, he had no blanket, he didn't want to keep staying there, he would rather be out in public at night in a strange place. Then Wilbur just shows up out of nowhere and tells Tommy he's misremembering/being dramatic and pretty much shuts him up, gets him to stop talking shit about him. Everyone's exasperation with Tommy in the situation (being a minor alone and uncomfortable and uncertain of what to do, far from home with nowhere to go), helped Wilbur pull Tommy back in and convince him to go back to his house, especially since it was passed off as Wilbur being caring.

It was obvious to me during the stream that Tommy was telling the truth and Wilbur was the one lying, but I figured he was just being defensive because he didn't want all that online. Now we know that he had a LOT more to hide about his living situation that he didn't want being spilled, and manipulators/abusers don't tend to like it when someone goes and starts talking about the truth. They want to downplay it as much as possible, and Wilbur showing up in person to shut Tommy up and make fun of him for not wanting to stay with him, make it more lighthearted, is incredibly telling and I'm surprised I haven't seen anyone point that out.

There are so many other things I found odd throughout the years that finally have a proper explanation to them, but that's just a few examples. I'm not going to get too much further into it. Wilbur isn't who we should be focusing on, I just needed to get that out to move on from it.

I do think pointing out that Tommy has openly been manipulated is important because it may cause him to take a while to respond openly to all this while he processes. If Wilbur treated so many of his ex-friends badly it's safe to assume he did it to all of them, and we need to give everyone involved time to stop and think about the situation. A lot of people want Tommy to respond immediately, but he will need time to do that and it's only fair we give him the space to do that properly.

I also think it is so, so incredible that Shelby has given so many people the space and bravery to come forward. I believe there will be more people speaking up soon, they just need time. Support her and other victims!

[distantdarlings]

HAVE ME // t. nott

RATING: R / 4.8K WORDS

Theodore Nott x Fem Reader Insert

+ SUMMARY - *Requested, based on this* When you are paired with Cormac McClaggen for a mid-semester project, he takes it as an opportunity to shoot his shot. However, despite your numerous rejections, he doesn't seem to want to let up. That is until Theo gets involved.

+ WARNINGS - SMUT, depictions of violence (a small fight, specifically), blood described very briefly, Cormac is hitting on reader and won't leave them alone, language, oral sex (perf. on reader), kissing, dom!Theo, fem reader, not proof-read

+ MUSIC (listened to while writing) -

Hotel - Montell Fish

---

The chatter around the classroom slowly dwindled as Professor Snape silently slipped through the door of his office. Everyone was waiting patiently for the results of his decision from yesterday. He mentioned that the mid-semester project would be partnered rather than solo. To you, that was bad news, but to others in the class, it was good. You worked best when you didn’t have to sort out the ideas getting bounced around aloud. But if you had to work with a partner, please let it be someone halfway decent.

“So,” Snape starts, “I have here the list of partners for the mid-semester project. As a reminder, you will be handling very toxic materials, so for the sake of all of our time, be careful with them.” His expression hinted at boredom, despite the unfortunate things he was referencing. Last year, someone nearly lost a hand with this project, and—to be quite honest—that was one of the reasons you were so excited about it. You liked the challenge and, even better, overcoming it. But you couldn’t do that with a shitty partner. Your fingers crossed beneath your open notebook.

“Malfoy with Weasley, Berkshire with Granger,” he began listing the names. Your hips shifted uncomfortably. He was pairing everyone with the opposite house. Surely he’d grant you some mercy with how well you’d been doing in this class?

“—Nott with Finnigan—” Your thoughts were briefly interrupted as Theodore’s name was called. That was an interesting pairing; however, you knew that Potions was one of Theo’s strong suits, and, granted they worked well together, the both of them would successfully keep their eyebrows intact. 

Your eyes found the older boy, tracing over every line on his face. You were friends, pretty good friends. His whole group of Slytherins were friendly with you, really. But there was something about him that had shocked you to your core from the first night you’d met him and started chatting at the Sorting ceremony when the both of you were eleven. He was quite literally one of the most attractive people you’d ever seen, and it seemed like he knew it too. The way he held himself down to the way he communicated with people, he just knew he was alarmingly alluring. 

He had a way of staring right into your eyes when you spoke to him, almost to the point it felt as if he was reading your mind. No matter what, he’d give you his full attention, even more so than his other friends, it seemed. Maybe you had always imagined it, but if you called his name, he was there. He would be waiting with his ear next to your lips, eager to hear what you had to say, no matter how you were feeling. Perhaps it was cliche, but you felt as though you could tell him anything, and you did. 

His eyes found yours suddenly. His lips parted into a crooked smile, his dazzling white teeth peeking through slightly. You returned the action, raising your eyebrows in an amused fashion at his partner for the project. He shrugged, the smile never leaving his face. He pointed at you and mouthed, ‘You’re coming up.’ You rolled your eyes and laughed silently as you brushed him off. You were laughing, but, in all seriousness, this wasn’t a comedic matter. Your Potions grade was potentially on the chopping block here, and you were getting nervous. Snape didn’t grade depending on who did what; he simply graded on the project's legitimacy. You could do this by yourself, but if whomever your partner ended up being fucks it up, you both were screwed. And, on top of it all, you would have to work with a Gryffindor, someone you likely barely knew. Perfect. 

Your name perked your ears as Snape paused for a moment, trying to decipher his own handwriting. Merlin, was he trying to tease you? You glanced around, wondering who hadn’t been selected yet. You hadn’t been paying attention. “Ah! With McClaggen.”

Your heart sank. You turned to glance over your shoulder at the showy Gryffindor sitting in the back corner of the classroom. He sent a wink and a small smirk your way, to which you replied by quickly turning back around. Did the universe hate you? It must. That was the only answer. Shit.

“Get to work,” he instructed, returning to his office and firmly shutting the door behind him. You weighed out the options in your head on how angry Snape would be if you asked to switch partners. You were sure he picked them for a reason…or maybe he didn’t? Merlin, help. Should you even bother with this? Maybe you could convince McClaggen to let you do all the work. He could sit patiently by and be quiet.

The classroom bustled gently as students were standing and finding their partners. Small groans echoed as everyone paired up. Apparently, you weren’t the only one that disliked your partner. Usually, you wouldn’t have expected Professor Snape to have paired Gryffindors with Slytherins. Who knew? Maybe he was trying something new.

You hid a wince and got to your feet. You collected your notebook and school bag and made your way over to the smirking boy. His hands were placed cockily behind his head, and one leg rested, crossed over the other. He maximalized every bit of space he took up, like a peacock. You repressed a groan and sat down in the seat next to him, neatly spreading your things out. 

“Well, hello,” he cooed. “I don’t think I’ve spoken with you before.”

“I don’t think so either,” you chuckled nervously, eyes finding the back of Theo’s head. He sat towards the front of the classroom, partnered with the clumsy Gryffindor. You wondered if he was having the same doubts you were. As if on beat, his head turned and made eye contact with you. He hid a smile at your current predicament and gave you a small wave with his fingers. You rolled your eyes and, with the hand farthest from McClaggen, pretended to choke yourself with it. Theo laughed aloud before turning back around when his partner tapped his shoulder.

“What’s so funny?” your partner asked, quirking an eyebrow. 

“Nothing,” you smiled, “how about we get started?”

Most of the class period was spent discussing the potion the two of you wanted to brew. The assignment was to pick one of the most difficult potions to brew and to make and document the experience successfully. All of the potions you were to choose from were in the very last chapter of your textbook, and the two of you flipped through the pages, unsure. 

Every so often, Cormac (you’d learned his first name was) would point at something on one of the pages and scoot ever so closer to you. He was so close now you could smell the peppermint candy he swished around his mouth. His arm rested alongside the back of your chair, and you were…immensely uncomfortable. Your back straightened so as not to come into contact with his arm. 

Throughout this whole experience, you’d glance Theo looking back at the two of you every so often and wonder if you could signal him to distract the boy. It wasn’t that you felt threatened; you just wish he’d back the hell up. If you had a personal bubble, it had long since combusted. His face was so close to yours, and no matter how far you leaned away, he’d get closer. Finally, you’d had enough.

“Cormac,” you laughed nervously. You placed one hand on his chest and slowly pushed him back toward his own seat. 

“What is it?” he asked. No matter what you did, that stupid smirk never failed.

“You are very close to me,” you explained, trying to remain as polite as possible. He shrugged and chuckled a bit, gaining on some of the space you’d placed between the two of you. 

“Well, that’s because I want to get closer to you,” he said. 

“Uh, no,” you tittered, “that’s okay. Let’s just do the project.” You tapped the textbook and pretended to immerse yourself back in the information, hoping he’d let it lie. He didn’t. His arm wrapped back around your chair, and your eyes slipped close in exasperation. 

“Cormac, please—”

“What? Don’t you want to get to know each other before we do a project together?” he asked, scooting closer yet again.

“No, I really don’t. I just want to get this done.” His face resumed its previous proximity to yours. He smirked at the closeness and you sighed, turning your face away from his, begging Theo to glance back again.

“Oh, I see…is he your boyfriend?” Cormac asked. Your face shot back to his.

“What? No! He’s just a friend,” you said.

“That was a very quick, rushed answer,” he laughed, “but if you say so, that’s even better for me—”

“Please, let’s just do the assignment,” you pleaded, “I’m really not interested.”

“Not even for a trip to Hogsmeade?”

“No, not really, you’re not my type.” You glanced back at Theo. He was finally looking back. Only this time, his eyes were locked on the boy beside you, with his face so close to yours. His eyes gleamed blood red, and his jaw clenched tightly. Your eyebrows furrowed, begging him to intervene somehow. If Cormac wasn’t too embarrassed to shoot his shot in the middle of class, surrounded by his peers, you were almost positive he’d continue to harass you outside of the classroom. Maybe even when the two of you were alone, and he might not let up at that point.

“What is your type?” he asked. “Brooding assholes in Slytherin?” He said this part a bit louder, making direct eye contact with Theo. You could feel the tension building slightly, and did your best to diffuse the situation. You partially blocked their gaze of each other.

“Please don’t say that about him.”

“I thought you said he wasn’t your boyfriend. Why are you defending him?”

“He’s not my boyfriend, but he is my friend, and I’d like you not to call him names,” you spoke sternly, eyes hardening on the boy. He was plucking the last strings of your patience. 

“Fine, I will—” you nodded at his promise “—if you let me take you to dinner.”

The bell signalling the end of class interrupted the conversation. Thank Merlin. You quickly gathered your things together and shoved them into your bag, praying he’d just drop the subject and let you move on with your day. You’d figure out a way to deal with him later. For right now, you just wanted to get your free period started as soon as possible. He stood right when you did. You ignored him and made for the exit, walking as quickly as looked natural.

You were the first out of the classroom and down the hall, trying your best to get away from him without completely abandoning Theo. A hand grabbed your shoulder, stopping you in your tracks. It roughly spun you around, yanking a yelp from your throat. You stood before Cormac, who had a sinister look on his face. 

“You never answered me,” he said. “Let me take you to dinner…”

“No, Cormac, I don’t want to go,” you said, attempting to wrestle yourself out of his iron grip. What about your thousand answers was he not grasping? 

“Let go of me.” His hand did not release you, and it did not seem like he intended to, either. You slipped your hand between his and your shoulder, trying to edge it off. He made a sound of endearment before attempting to slide a hand around your hips. You squealed and squirmed away from him, trying to prevent him from wrapping his arms farther around you.

“Hey!” A voice shouted. The both of you began to turn, but before Cormac could get his head fully pivoted, a hand appeared on his shoulder and yanked him away from you. It was Theo, and he appeared to be fuming. His jaw was tightly clenched, and his eyes were wild.

“The fuck do you think you’re doing, McClaggen?” he demanded. “She said no, you dick!”

“I don’t see how it’s any of your business. She said you weren’t her boyfriend,” the younger laughed meanly, poking him roughly in the chest. You winced at the contact. 

“Don’t fucking touch me,” he hissed, pushing the boy back from him. Cormac stumbled a few steps before regaining his footing. It appeared he was as surprised as everyone else was at the sudden hostility. Cormac laughed cockily. 

He raised a hand and swung his fist at Theo as hard as he could, getting a good hit in. Theo’s head jerked to the side from the force of the punch, and you gasped sharply, hands shooting to cover your mouth in shock. Natural instincts told you to jump back, but you rushed toward Theo, who pushed you back gently behind him, squeezing your arm firmly. It didn’t hurt, but you knew it meant to stay put. 

“Come on, Slytherin!” Cormac shouted. “Show me what your reject house is made of!”

A crowd of other students had begun to gather around the two boys, curious to see what all of the commotion was. Adrenaline pumped through your veins like ice water as you watched Theo approach the other boy, cocking his arms and wringing any stiffness out of them. 

Before you could feel the exhalation of breath leave your body, Theo swung his arm at the boy, cracking him hard across the jaw. As if in slow motion, Cormac fell back and hit the ground with a hard thud. You imagined his tailbone would be quite bruised tomorrow morning. 

Theo fell down on top of the boy, legs resting on either side of his hips, and wailed on him. Fist after fist hit the boy’s face, pushing more and more blood out of him. You screamed in shock as you realized Theo had no intention of stopping. Around the same time you did, everyone else did too. They began throwing shouts of concern and pressing in on the two boys. Everybody loved a good fight now and then but nobody wanted to see someone get killed. 

Yet, nobody put their hands on Theo for fear of being in the same predicament as Cormac currently was. That was, until Enzo and Mattheo ran up behind the crowd. You heard them ask if that was Theo.

“Enzo!” you shouted his name, waving over the crowd. His eyes quickly found yours and in seeing the distress on your face, began weaving through the crowd. Mattheo quickly followed suit. 

When they breached the barrier of the crowd, their eyes widened, and they made for their friend. They grabbed his shoulders and pulled him away from the poor boy, his face a mangled mess. You looked away quickly, not wanting to see the damage that had been done in your favor.

Once pulled away, a gathering of students ran over to Cormac and covered him with a wall of their protection, trying to see if they could help him somehow. You turned to Theo, who was breathing heavily, a single dripping of blood pouring from his nose. You turned to the bottom of your uniform shirt, found the edge of the seam, and tore a small section of it. You could get a replacement sometime later.

You approached the boy with a murderous gaze and gently pressed the piece of shirt beneath his nose. He flinched slightly but never looked away from Cormac. Maybe that hadn’t been for you, and he’d just wanted to beat Cormac’s ass—which is understandable, but still. You weren’t totally sure why he did it.

“Theo?” you spoke gently. His glare didn’t waver. The fingers pressing the material against his bloodied nose tilted his face carefully to look at you. His eyes found yours, softening slightly. 

“I’m sorry,” he breathed, his chest heaving. “I couldn’t stand him touching you like that.”

“It’s okay,” you reassured. He didn’t seem convinced. How he looked at you with such concern and worry made you wonder if he thought you were mad at him. You shook your head at the question running through your mind. Obviously, he didn’t know what you had been thinking, but you hoped he’d understand somehow. 

You helped Enzo and Mattheo pull him to his feet and escort him away from the crowd before any of the professors showed up. Speaking of which, they likely should have been out here by now. 

As you helped the boys guide Theo toward the Slytherin common room, you were careful to avoid any obvious eyes that raced past them to see what the aftermath of the commotion was. Hopefully, nobody would notice them and they could deal with the whole situation later. The group turned the corner and stopped before the entrance to the dorm room. Enzo announced the password, and the lot of you headed inside, pulling Theo up the stairs and into the boys’ dorm room. He pulled away from them suddenly and sat on his bed.

“Alright, alright, I’m okay!” he declared. “I just got a sock to the jaw; my legs weren’t broken.”

“They’re just trying to help, Teddy,” you whispered, trying to place the cloth back on his nose that had started up its intermittent spurting again. He sighed and gently grabbed your wrist, holding it away from his face. He was never rough with you, despite how angry he was.

“I’m fine, I’m just wound up, I don’t need any of you to—”

“Nonsense,” you interrupted him. “Mattheo, Enzo, would the two of you mind running down to the hospital wing and asking Madam Pomfrey if she has anything to stop the bleeding. It’s not excessive, but it’s messy.”

“Is there not a spell or something like that?” Mattheo asked, clearly concerned for his friend.

“Not one that I know off the top of my head. Would you just go ask her, please?” you repeated yourself. The two boys seemed to hesitate but eventually worked their way out of the room with their destination in mind. Once they were gone, your eyes turned back to Theo’s. An amused glint lay suspended in his eyes.

“‘Nothing that comes to mind?’” he smirks. “If a spell comes to my mind and not yours, the world must be upside down.” You conceal a laugh. You knew a spell. You knew multiple healing spells, but you wanted Mattheo and Enzo out of the room for a second. You just wanted to speak with Theo about what had happened. 

“I’m sorry I lied to your friends,” you said. “But I really wanted to talk with you privately, and I didn’t want to wait.” His eyes keep a tight hold on yours. You swallow thickly. 

“Okay, what is it?” he asks, his voice barely above a whisper. 

Anxiety pools in your stomach as you realize you hadn’t really planned anything to say. You wanted to know why Theo had done what he did and if it was for or because of you. Cormac had been bothering you, yes, but it could have just been that Theo really disliked him and wanted to intervene. 

“Why did you do that?” you ask. Probably the worst way you could have asked that, but it was what came out. You might as well own it at this point. 

“Do what?” he mused.

“Why did you stop Cormac?”

“That feels like a dumb question. He was laying his hands on you without your permission.”

“Would you have done that for anyone, though?” you stuttered through your interrogation.

“I suppose not….why do you ask?” he asked, the smirk never leaving his face. Your eyes fell down to his lips suddenly, noticing that there was a small amount of dried blood stained across them. A small gasp left your lips as you reached your hand out. You didn’t think through any of the following movements; you just allowed your body to do as it pleased. Your fingers gently cradled his jaw, and your thumb swiped slowly over his lips, collecting the bit of staining as it crossed. Your eyes found him again, and you realized he was intently watching you. His eyes were softened by hunger. The way they traveled down to your lips, his lips parting as he found yours, his hands clenching by his side. It sent a chill down your spine. 

“Theo,” you breathed. You could not pull your eyes away from his swollen lips. You wanted so badly to learn their taste and memorize it for eternity. Just one kiss and you could be satisfied for the rest of your days. 

“I kicked Cormac’s ass because he was laying his hands on you, and I have been desperate to do that for years…,” he whispered. “The difference between him and I, though? I ask permission.” A glimpse of a chuckle spreads over his lips, and you feel your stomach blush with heat. As if he could feel it happen to you, his nose bumped softly against yours, igniting the heat and transforming it into a flame. 

“I want you so bad,” he whispered, the air skimming your lips. “Please let me have you.”

“Have me, Teddy.” Your response was final. His hands gripped each side of your face firmly and pressed your lips together. Heat and light and everything in between exploded into your stomach, sending shocks of love into your heart. You could have melted on the spot, and you nearly did, if it weren’t for Theo wrapping one arm tightly around your waist and holding you up.

His tongue slid over your bottom lip, begging for entrance. You granted him access to every part of you with no push-back. All you wanted was to feel him everywhere and never to lose that feeling ever again. 

The both of his hands pushed around the back of your thighs and pulled them to either side of his bent knees. He settled you neatly onto his lap, you straddling his thighs against the bed. The action sent a lightning bolt of pleasure directly to your core as the space between his thighs urged gently against you. You sighed against his mouth, entangling your fingers into his hair. 

Everything about him was overwhelming. His smell, his taste, and his touch had you gasping for air. You had never realized how much you truly wanted him until this very moment. Without so much as a breath, he cradled your back with one hand and stood from his bed, lifting the two of you into the air. You squeaked from the sudden movement but relaxed instantly when he settled you against his bed. 

His lips detached from yours and quickly made alliance with your jaw and then your neck. His head worked down the frame of your body, pressing open-mouthed kisses to every sliver of skin he could find. When he reached the waistline of your uniform skirt, he tapped his finger twice against the spot where your shirt was tucked in. You nodded so quickly, it was almost pathetic. He smirked and slipped his hands between the materials. He tugged your shirt out and began laying the same types of kisses over your bare stomach. You groaned at the feeling, noticing the ardor he placed into each press of his lips. You felt worshipped and it was addicting.

His eyes flicked up to find yours as he slowly pushed himself farther down, placing himself just in front of your core. Without question, your legs began to spread for him, allowing him access to anything he wanted. You just needed to feel him; you didn’t care what he did. 

Your eyes found his face once more and scanned over the entirety of it. A deep, sinister glance rested in his eyes, holstering a lust so dark, it almost frightened you. His lips were slightly parted in a teasing, smirking way, just waiting to place themselves against you once more. And his nose had…oh, it had begun to bleed again. You reached down and swiped your thumb beneath it, pushing the excess discharge away. A small twinge of guilt hit you again at the thought of Theo getting himself hurt for you.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, frowning at the sight before you.

“You never have to apologize to me,” he breathed, “you are perfect.” And with that, he’d flipped the edge of your skirt over your legs and sunk his face between them. His tongue found your core before you could even get a word out. A breathless moan spilled from your lips as your spine arched off the bed. Your hands immediately pushed down to wrap themselves in his curls, savoring every single swipe of his tongue. 

“So fucking good,” he moaned against you, the vibrations sending messages up to your very brain. You quaked beneath the feeling, your thighs shaking against the boy’s hold on them. It was nearly becoming too much. You weren’t going to last much longer. If he wanted to do something, he’d better get to it.

“Theo, I’m…c—”

“Not yet, baby,” he whispered, pressing two chaste kisses to the inside of your thighs. You could feel the wetness spread across his lips and chin smear against your flesh. You shuddered at the sensation. It definitely should not have turned you on as much as it just did. “I want it on my tongue.”

He separates himself from you and slides his hands beneath the crook of your knees. With a firm grip, he yanks you to the edge of the bed, where your hips are lying just over the curve. His hands find your hips and flip you over onto your stomach, careful to avoid hurting you in any way. Ever so gentle.

You could hear him kneel down again behind you. Your thighs shook in anticipation just before he pressed his lips back to you. His tongue swirled across you in the most delicate of motions, drawing every sound possible from your lips. Your fingers gripped the sheets as each of his movements drew you closer to the edge. You might finish any second. 

“Hey-o!” Mattheo’s voice came from just outside the door. You jumped up and glanced back at Theo as the both of you separated as fast as possible. Theo came up to sit beside you on the bed and made quick work of wiping his mouth off on his sleeve. You pulled your skirt back over your legs and stood at attention, waiting for the two boys to enter. Damn it. You had been so close. 

The two boys walked in, clutching a small vial of liquid. Mattheo raised it to show the two of them, both of whom quickly nodded, smiling innocently. Surely, they wouldn’t suspect anything of the two of you. You’d never really expressed any feelings toward the other before now. At least not publicly.

“Where do you want this?” Mattheo asked.

“If you would just take it to the bathroom, we’re headed in there so they can help me clean up the rest of the way.” Both of the other boys nodded and headed back out the way they came, moving toward the group bathroom. 

Just as they left, Theo slipped his hand beneath your skirt and traced his fingers along you, allowing one to insert itself to its hilt. You gasped sharply, trying your best to mute the sound. His hand began to pump against you, slowly rising in speed as he hit that perfect spot each time with ease. The sounds spilling from your lips became less and less controlled as he pushed you towards the edge, keeping you standing tall and refusing to let you lay back down on the bed.

“Come like this, baby,” he whispered. “Quickly, before they get back.” His finger pressed deeply up into you one last time, bruising the soft spot and forcing a rushing finish down on you. Your lips parted in a shocked moan as the proof of your end slipped down around Theo’s fingers. He worked you through the entirety of it, never tiring and never halting. He could do this all day. 

The sound of his friends heading back toward the dorm room pushed the two of you apart once again. Only this time, Theo had a telling, lustful expression imprinted on his face, and the remains of your ecstasy were still painted across his fingers. You swiped a hand between your thighs in an attempt to clean yourself off and brushed any concerns from Mattheo or Enzo off. The ‘Are you okay?’ and the ‘You guys look weird’ had nothing on the steel resolve the both of you kept planted on your faces. If Theo could fight someone for you, you could fight the urge to tell his friends he’d just let you fuck his face while they were out running an errand. Oh well, such is life. You laughed to yourself. 

[dolldefiler]

We’d meet at a party or a bar, somewhere with a lot of people. Somewhere you might feel alone in a large crowd. I’d watch you squirm or tap your feet awkwardly, wishing you were anywhere but here, and finally I would approach you. I’d be ever so charming, making you forget your previous anxiety and making you feel genuinely happy for coming. I’m sure you’d look very pretty with that smile on your face.

Girls like you know that guys just want to fuck. But perhaps I’m not that sort of guy. Surely not. But still, you’ll wonder why I’m so insistent on showing you my model train set or my collection of poems. You’ll feel uneasy, of course. You know there’s always a risk when you enter some stranger’s home, but you have a really good feeling about me.

That’s when I’ll start throwing in slight remarks to throw you off-guard. Perhaps I’ll talk about how flat you are, or how pathetic your career is. I’ll find your insecurities and play into them. I’ll make it hurt in a soft voice and a wide smile on my face. You’ll feel small and vulnerable. I’m not the man you met a couple hours ago.

Then I’ll touch you. I’ll trace my fingers slowly across your shoulders and back, like I own you. I’ll make you feel owned. Taken. I won’t handle you like a piece of meat. Yet. I want you to wear something so thin, you can feel my fingers trail lightly down your back, uncomfortably making myself at home with your body. Your shoulders, your back, your thighs… and then the rest of you. One small fondle will lead to openly groping and molesting your tight, slutty fucktoy of a body, and you won’t be able to do a thing about it.

Oh, you might scream or kick at me. You might beg me to stop and ask me why I’m doing this to you. God, the betrayal you’ll feel would make me so fucking ready to rape your silly, naive holes. You shouldn’t have trusted me. You should have stayed at home tonight. Perhaps you wouldn’t be in a stranger’s home, face buried in his pillow while he raped his violent cock into your stupid cunt. 

Did you deserve this for being too trusting? I don’t give a shit. I just saw a set of docile holes walking around tonight and decided I needed to drain my balls into you. I’ll stretch and break your innocent pussy, fucking you mindless. Then I’ll drag you up with your hair, and slap you until you’ve opened your mouth. I’ll plunge my cock deep down your rapesleeve throat, watching you shudder in disgust as my balls slap against your face. Don’t you know if you look at me like that, I’ll just have to push your mouth further down, until you’re rimming my asshole. I’ll jerk my fucking cock over your face while you tearingly and reluctantly slather your tongue across my ass.

I won’t be able to stop myself from using your face as a cum sock. I’ll pour every drop of cum I have over your pretty eyes, painting you in my jizz. I’m sure you’ll look quite beautiful.

[strangesem]

hobie brown x shy/quiet!reader headcanons

spider-punk x reader this is not a drill

long as hell I’m so sorry

a/n: reader is mentioned as being a mom friend but imo that can be gender neutral so this can still be read by anyone!! if that makes you uncomfortable though please skip this post :)

I also imagine hobie as being 19-ish so it’s kinda implied reader lives alone but can def be read as younger!!

most people didn’t notice you at first.

you were quiet; really quiet. you’d mumble your thank you’s, whisper apologies, and generally go out of your way not to interact with people as a whole.

I feel like that gentleness/softness would almost draw hobie to you though?

he’d definitely first meet you as spider-man; saving you from some sort of robber or attacker. and then he’d see you be so shy about thanking him and apologizing as if it was your fault??? he finds it sweet but also kinda concerning for you tbh

and over time he begins to notice you more and more during his patrols; something about you just draws him in.

he definitely likes that you don’t try to tell him or others what to do lol

after talking to you enough as spider-man, and you start to open up, he begins to like you even more

you listen to some of the music he likes? your humour?? not to mention how genuine you are???

(also very useful if you happen to be a “mom friend” type who keeps first aid, candy, etc on you at all times!! he’d definitely appreciate a lollipop to help with the pressure changes while swinging around or a bandage for his cuts)

speaking of which if you ARE the type to have those things on you he may start seeking you out if/when he gets hurt

and after that even when he’s not tbh he’ll just pretend to have a headache and eat some of your candy on your couch lmao-

one time though he comes with wounds a little too serious looking for the standard wet cloth and bandaid treatment you had been used to; and it scares you

you raise your voice a bit louder than he’d ever heard, in a scared tone that was different than your normal anxious voice, and you tell him he should probably definitely go to a hospital

“but I like you so much better” he leans in a little too close, holding on to you a little too tight to keep himself steady, and you suddenly realize the reality of you situation

spider-man is in your living room. he’s bleeding a lot. and you’re the first person he thought to come to; because he likes you? not like that obviously- unless it is like that? NO. people barely even notice you, no one would ever feel like that type of thing for-

“you’re staring” you can feel the shit eating grin on his face; it’s practically burning through his mask

you stutter out an apology and after stammering around for a moment you get him to sit down and do your best to treat his injuries

you can tell the disinfectant stings by the way he flinches whenever you apply it, as well as his teasing that he “thought you were supposed to be nicer than the nurses” but he does his best to sit still and let you dress all of his wounds

you both remain still for a moment, and you think you can feel his eyes on you but you’re too scared to look up. your hands are shaking; they have been this whole time.

“that’s everywhere right? I didn’t miss something?”

he takes off his mask to look you in the eye and tell you he’s okay but you’re just like ????

:O

ANYWAYS you are once again staring bc you now know spider-man’s identity???

I feel like he’s gently hold your face and just give you a quick peck to make sure he wasn’t crossing any boundaries

but if you kiss him back? he’s NEVER stopping

he’ll start randomly crawling through your window with excuses of missing you or wanting to show you something

and soon he’s staying the night at your place or he’s swinging you over to his so you can stay with him

I think dates would definitely be super chill and more like hanging out at each others places than anything else

but if he does a show for his music he’d definitely want you there!!

he’d also probably pick you up and start swinging around the city with no warning just for the way you’ll grab on to him so tightly-

but ofc is you asked him not to he’d stop immediately!

doesn’t get super jealous or anything, he’s a pretty chill guy, but he will get sorta bothered if someone’s aggressively pursuing you even after knowing you two are together

like if someone doesn’t know and flirts with you he’s just like “yeah I’m lucky”

but if someone ever went so far to imply you should be unfaithful and/or should leave him he’d probably tell them to back off and either leave with you or put his arm around your shoulder and glare at them until they leave

either way he’s not starting any fights or anything though; he’s super comfortable in your relationship and hopes you are too

genuinely thinks you’re the most beautiful/handsome person ever like he WILL flex to the other spider-people if relationships come up

he’s really not in to pda though; he’ll put his arm around your shoulders/waist but that’s it. maybe hand holding depending on the situation.

but when you guys are alone he likes physical touch; don’t expect to be on top of each other or anything but having your/his head rested on the others lap or him just resting his hand on your leg is pretty common

he’s also not very big into gifts (he doesn’t buy into the capitalist need for abundance and all that) but he does like giving you jewellery/other wearable items bc he likes to see a reminder of himself/your relationship on you

pls make him a bracelet or something he’ll literally never take it off (also jewellery for any of his piercings is fair game)

he values small intimate things in a relationship; like painting each others nails, listening to each other rant about things you’re passionate about, etc

overall he may not be big and showy but he’s an amazing boyfriend and would love you like a lot

he’d also definitely write songs about/for you bc you’re so important to him and he wants the whole world to know that :((

I haven’t written fanfiction in forever but if anyone has any hobie requests I could write as headcanons I’m open to them!! :)

[pepprs]

literally for so many reasons i should not do this program tomorrow but explaining why i can’t would be so embarrassing but also i really shouldn’t. lol

[dumplingsjinson]

List of random dialogue prompts 

“I was never a morning person, but then I started waking up to your face and you know… Maybe mornings aren’t that bad, after all.” 

“Why are you mad?” “I’m not mad, I just think you can choose better people to kiss.” 

“I fucking hate you.” “No you don’t. Take that back right now.” 

“You know I’d do anything to have you stay by my side, right? Anything.”  

“Oh, fuck. Do that again.” 

“You look stupid as all hell right now.”

“I want to believe you, but I don’t know if I can.” 

“You’ve given me so many reasons to walk away.” “Then why don’t you walk away? It’s not like I’m keeping you hostage here.” “You still don’t get it, do you? It’s because I love you.” 

“…Damn it all to hell, if I don’t get to have you tonight then I’m never going to be able to have you.” 

“Let me call you mine, just for tonight.”

“I think you and I make an amazingly stupid pair.” “I know! Our two brain cells combined together make for quality entertainment and a unique kind of stupidity.” 

“I’m going to have so much fun with you.”

“Oh God, yes, right there— oh my God, just like that, please don’t stop.” “…Can you stop that? You’re making it sound like we’re in a porno and now I’m highly uncomfortable.” 

“Bet you they don’t make you sound like that, do they?” 

“Fuck, you’re such a wreck, and because of me, too.” 

“Can you stop moaning? I’m trying to help you relax but you’re making it hard for me to concentrate.” “Sorry, your hands just work a little too good.” “I’m going to pay for a masseuse next time if you keep doing this.” 

“You are driving me insane and I’m this close to losing my shit because of you.”

“Is hating me your only personality trait?”

“Never scare me like that again!” 

“Oh, don’t worry. I have every plan to make you submit to me.”

“I’m not even gonna lie, I’m just so fucking obsessed with you.” 

“That could be us.” “That is us.”

“Was it worth it?”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you— slow down, you’ll get what you want soon enough.”

“I want you to remember every single second of this.” 

“Bet you they can’t make you feel the way I do.” “Bet’s on.” “Wait, what? That was not my intention—”

“Hm, but I think I like having you spread out like this. Such a gorgeous sight.” 

“Come and get your fix.”

“…You’re an addiction I never want to quit.” 

“I had nothing to live for, but then you came into my life. So thank you.” 

“Why’d you— why’d you do that?” “B-Because I promised you I’d do anything to keep you safe.” 

“I swear if we get caught then I’m actually going to kill you.” 

“You think I wanted this to happen?!”

“Just when I was about to give up…”

“I trusted you with my life.” “Well, I’m sorry but you’re clearly very gullible.”

“Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t feel the same as I do, then I’ll leave you alone.” 

“You know, maybe you should bet on something else the next time instead of betting on someone’s fucking feelings.” 

“You’re such a dork.” “Yeah, no wonder you’re so in love with me.”

“Does me doing all these things not account for anything?” “I never asked you to do those things for me, though, did I?”

“You nearly foiled our plan, you idiot!”

“I… I think I’m happy.” “You think? So you’re not one hundred percent certain?”

“Who’s laughing now?” “…Clearly not you. You’re crying, dear God.” 

“I’m tired of being on the sidelines.” 

“You actually came back.”

“Christ on a fucking bike, I could kiss you right now.”

“That was a bold move.”

“We’re going to be late, all because you couldn’t stop scrolling through that damn phone of yours while taking your damn sweet time to shit!” 

“Kinda sucks that I can only have you like this.” 

“I fell in love, so hard, and so fast, but a part of me knew it wasn’t going to last.” 

“Your heart’s always on your sleeve.” “Only around you, because you’re the only one who knows me so well. Too well, in fact.”  

(pt. 2) | (pt. 3)

[loveemagicpeace]

🌌Issues that you have with North Node🌌

🍸Aries North Node- you have issue being aggressive, being you , being direct & express your true energy and being your true self. NN in Aries gives you the life challenge of exerting your personal will and developing the inner confidence and courage to act in your own self-interest. Your journey is all about showing courage and embracing individuality. And finding your true self.

☁️Taurus North Node- you have issue with your self esteem. It's hard for you to feel valuable from others. Maybe you can also struggle with money or making money. You can also struggle with food or music or may you don't want to share your music or things that are close to you with others because maybe you feel ashamed to. It’s also about making sure you don’t get anywhere in a rush. Taurus is all about enjoying the simple things in life.

🥑Gemini North Node- you have trouble with expressing yourself. Speaking in public or expose yourself with saying some things that are on your mind. You also can be afraid of saying things and being wrong about it. You also struggle with your relatives & siblings. You feel that nobody really understands you or hear you. Maybe you feel that you are not good enough in school or that you're not smart enough. Your purpose is to hone your communication and social skills to become a leader in your community.

🛁Cancer North Node- you can struggle with home or family. You can also feel that everywhere you go it feels unfamiliar & maybe even at your home you can feel like you are some stranger or you are not feel safe enough there. The thing with NN in Cancer is that you actually look for a place to be safe and you look for people who will give you the comfort, nurturing and caring. People who will be there for you always and will never leave you. With cancer you can also have abandoned issues. The life's mission of those with the north node in Cancer is to become a warm and nurturing soul. A Cancer north node individual's purpose in life is to make and enjoy heartfelt connections.

✨Leo North Node- you struggle with not being seen & you can also have problems with being exposed or being in public in general. You don't want to be the center of attention & you don't like being around people or it's hard for you to show your talents to them. You are very uncomfortable taking the spotlight. In this lifetime, you sometimes experience betrayal or disappointing behavior from your group. You often felt detached, both from yourself and people around you. In this lifetime, you have to learn to exist as individual and define your boundaries.

⭐️Virgo North Node- one thing that I notice from this north node is that you actually struggle with your body or your body image or how you look like or the parts of your body. Cuz Virgo represents the body, skin , parts around the belly. So you can be actually very uncomfortable showing your body to people or maybe you can also be a critical of the way you look. You can also struggle with job and working with others. So you may be more comfortable being alone and doing things alone. These people are creative, artistic, sensitive, spiritual. You feel that you are one with the whole world. This makes you very sensitive to the energy of other people. You are very compassionate, however, there are people who take advantage of this. These people are often highly creative and have a powerful intuition.

🫧Libra North Node- you can struggle with maintaining relationships. Also being good enough for people. You can also feel lonely and hopeless. You can also feel that people don't feel the same way that you do. It's hard for you to find someone who understands you the way you want to be understand. You can struggle with betrayal, pain and a lot of people can hurt you and take advantage of you. You can also be afraid of being rejected. Because u often experience rejection as a description of who you are. They often grow up feeling that they are too much, that they will never find anyone who really gets what they have going on inside. You are concerned about questions around whether you are worthy of connection. You can usually take pride in feeling like no one ever gets you.

🌊Scorpio North Node- you have trouble with darker things & things that are more intense. Maybe intimacy can be a problem for you. You don't want to share intimacy with other people if you don’t trust em enough. You can also be afraid of intimacy. Maybe you don't want the people touch unless you trust them. It’s all about trust. If you don't trust people they cannot get closer to you. You can also have like big trust issues or you can see or feel things when they are not true. You can easily become suspicious about people & you can also be afraid of being betrayal or like sharing secrets with people and they just take your secrets with them and you can never take your secrets back. With your secrets, you feel that you are safe and that no one can take that away from you. You can also have control issues. They heal entire communities when they trust themselves in relationship to other people.

🎡Sagittarius North Node- you can struggle with faith & with believing into something. It's harder for you to find something to believe because you feel like you never have that. Also you can struggle with happiness and good luck . You feel like you never have a luck or that people around you experience a lot luck it's not you. You’re destined to embrace your wanderlust and experience new places through travel. Your purpose is to learn and seek knowledge. In this lifetime, it is key to use your intuition.

🎑Capricorn North Node- you struggle with responsibilities, stability ,career or just being stable in some things. You have to find your mission in this lifetime. It could also be something about your parents or some masculine figure or father. In general you can struggle with men or masculine figure or you just have a harder time to connect with people who have more masculine energy or man in general. You can also find really uncomfortable manipulating with other people. You can also struggle with being a leader or you can also be surrounded about a lot of people who have major career or maybe smarter than you are and you feel like a loser when you are with them. You're not but you feel that way because you attract all of people who Capricorn personalities. So you may feel uncomfortable around these people because they make you feel like you are not that good. The north node in Capricorn suggests that you need a protective shell, which you first seek in others, but later you learn to grow it on your own.

🎞️Aquarius North Node- you can struggle with finding friends or being accepted in the group. You can also feel of times like outsider or that your group don't accept you as you are. You feel so much different than them. You also struggle with social media. U may want to be seen but you feel uncomfortable to be seen. Equality will be a major focus in life. In the future, you can grow by understanding other people better and relating to them. You usually dislike the idea of being one in many and belonging to a community. Also u can have a lot of relationships and you can also have a hard time to stay in relationship or being in just one.

🧚🏼‍♀️Pisces North Node-you can struggle with your subconscious, dream ,spirituality ,finding your other self. Is about the difficulty of accepting pain. It represents self acceptance. The healing that Pisces north node seeks works through a self understanding that can only exist when pain is known and understood. You can also be afraid of pain of being hurt so you actually always escape when you feel like people it's going to hurt you. You can deal with a lot of drugs but on the other side you can also be afraid of drugs ,alcohol or things that are just feel unreal or put you in the mood that is not you. It’s not about improving the self despite pain. They grow when they learn how to forgive those who have done them wrong, when they realize that their pain does not make them more alone but that pain is something that most people know. 


☁️Commnet if u want north node in houses☁️

✨Ig-bekylibra✨

-Rebekah📀🍸☁️

[asmosmainhoe]

Hiii! I hope you're doing well 🫶💍

Can I please ask your headcannons about how would lucifer, mammon, satan, beel, diavolo and barbatos react if MC offers to put chapstick on their lips?

I know it's a strange ask, but imagine this scenario: It's gotten really cold suddenly (in? On? At?) the devildom and MC notices said character has chapped lips and seems very uncomfortable with it. She offers them her (can be gn!reader but I'm using she/her for better explaining) chapstick and they deny, but she insistist in putting on them, and they feel giddy because she's caring so softly for them 😭😭😭

I'm feeling the vibe of soft casual love today. It's okay if you don't answer, but I'd be really happy if you did! Lots of love, stay warm 🩷🩷🩷

MC offers their chapstick

Note: Huh my motivation is partly back

Gender: neutral

Warnings: none

Masterlist

Lucifer

He says that he doesn't need it of course even though he really does and you offering your chapstick makes him notice his dry lips even more

You already left him so he could continue to work in peace, but your words simply don't let him go

His tongue keeps darting out to lick over his lips which makes it only worse and the feeling bothers him more with every second

Only half an hour passes until he looks for you around the house to ask if the offer still stands

Mammon

WHAT?! YOUR CHAPSTICK?! BUT IT WAS ON YOUR LIPS FIRST! SO IT WOULD BE LIKE A KISS MQJSBAJAN

He immediately short circuits and isn't responding for a couple seconds

"If you're really insistin'."

Mammon snatches the chapstick away from you and puts on a thick layer

"I actually thought that I could put it on you, but that works too I guess."

He's devastated

You better be prepared to share it some more in the future, because he will ask for it on a regular basis and don't even think about buying him one. He wants yours

Satan

A light blush is forming on his cheeks and ears upon your offer, but he'd be a fool to decline it. It's the closest he can get to a kiss for now after all especially when you get so close to his face to put it on

He takes an extra moment to rub his lips properly together and is surprised by the pleasant taste. Would a kiss taste like this as well? The thought alone makes him become even more red

"Should I buy you one too?"

"No, but thank you. I don't need it that often."

Wrong! He just wants an excuse to use yours

Beelzebub

Of course he's not one to say no to that! It's so kind of your to offer it in the first place. Not many people are paying as much attention to him as you do

Much to your surprise though Beel leans forward with his eyes closed which makes you think for a second that he's actually about to kiss you

Beel shoots a small smile in your direction as he thanks you. Ugh, so handsome...

You make sure to offer him your chapstick more often in the future

Diavolo

"Oh, I didn't even notice that my lips are so dry!"

"So can I put it on then?"

"Absolutely!"

Much like Beel he has to bend over a little bit so you could reach him better

Being this close to him really makes you realize just how attractive he is. As if having the prince of hell only inches away from your face isn't intimidating enough

But he seems to genuinely enjoy it

Barbatos

No idea how this man manages to take such good care of his appearance while handling so many tasks

So it's kind of a big thing when you notice that his lips are super dry AND HE EVEN APOLOGIZES FOR "BEING SUCH A MESS" LIKE BABE IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL

"Thank you so much for pointing it out. Could you maybe be so kind and put it on for me? I'm afraid my hands are full at the moment."

ANYTHING FOR YOU, LOVE

It's a short moment, but somehow incredibly intimate

[berrymeter]

i’m. i feel horrible rn but. i’m so very lucky to have energy as a friend i will say that

[thesirencult]

PAC : 1ST KISS WITH YOUR FUTURE LOVE

PILE 1

First of all, let's start with some details I'm getting. Pile 1, this pile might be connected to Pile 2 in a way. Maybe, Pile 1 is you and Pile 2 is your future spouse. I'm getting really pure vibes from one of you. One is more shy and reserved and this could probably be their first kiss. The other one is so caring and thoughtful. They are paralyzed by the other person's beauty and sweetness and they are trying to create a calm environment for the other person to open up.

This is my pile that could be for a same sex relationship, particularly for two beautiful ladies out there.

Now, the KISS! I'm getting a very specific scenario. At first, you two are in a room or place with other people. This could be a house party, a wedding reception, a club or another "noisy" event. You will be friends or in the beginning stages of dating/courting. This person may even bring you in as their plus one and look forward to have you meeting their friends and family. On the other hand you are feeling a bit out of element.

This person will find you absolutely stunning. I'm seeing a guy holding out his hand for a girl with a beautiful dress and jewellery, looking like a princess. Even if you are two women, the same still applies.

Your person will understand that you're feeling uncomfortable and that you may need some time alone to recharge. A friend or family member might tell them to approach you more romantically. They will whisk you away and when you two are finally alone, talking alongside eachother or looking at the stars, they will take your hand in theirs, profess their love to you and touch your face/hair.

The kiss will be very tender and soft and I'm getting that you will both be nervous, especially this person, even if they look composed. As soon as they pull away they will be thinking about the day you two will get married, lol !

PILE 2

I'm seeing a clear distinction between a masculine and a feminine energy. The masculine is SMITTEN. They don't know how to act properly around the feminine. They appear calm, coll and collected but the way they touch and caress the feminine, says otherwise. On the other side, the feminine is completely unaware of the effect they have on the masculine. They've never met anyone as interested in them as the masculine and they are also a bit naive when it comes to love.

The masculine will be looking for an opportunity to pounce but it will take them a very long time until both them and the feminine are ready.

The feminine, unaware of their charm, will slightly touch the masculine on the chest or the arm and suddenly the floodgates will open. Every single emotion they held back is coming out full force and they are ready to risk it all.

The masculine may have a fascination with the feminine's hair and the way it falls down their back or they might enjoy touching and kissing the feminine's fingers, especially if the feminine wears rings or has tattoos on their hands. I'm also seeing a fascination with touching certain curves of the body, like the part where the head meets the neck and the small of the back. Little things like these set the masculine OFF.

PILE 3

Pile 3, you are last but not least. Your first kiss with this person will be quite euphoric. This relationship has been thorugh its ups and downs and when you finally reach the next level it will all be worth it.

Both you and your future lover are people who have not lived a passionate love story. One of you might be more daring and prone to taking action and they will try to bring the other's wild side out.

The first kiss will emulate just that. A push and pull moment, until the both of you decide to be vulnerable and just let go of rules and expectations.

Kissing will take you to another place, one where everything is possible. This person won't be afraid to show their love to you but you have to keep your heart and mind open when it comes to this connection.

Appearances can fool us and you never know what the heart is holding inside its gates. Take the chance and find out, or else you might miss out on a very big and passionate love story, one for the books.

[mariinaworld]

Stay with me

Gp!Natasha Romanoff x F!Reader

Summary: After a mission together, Natasha thinks it's time to talk about how she really feels (I'm terrible with summaries sorry)

WC: 2,4k

Warnings: SMUT, masturbation, riding, unprotected sex, Nat has a penis

MINORS DNI. Masterlist N.R

English is not my first language, so I apologize for any spelling mistakes

It’s 1am, the loud sound making your ears twitch and certainly missions where you have to seduce an arms dealer tycoon to get information not your favorite . You're now sitting on some mob boss's lap or something, the only thing you're thinking about is when is this guy going to drop something that will actually help you.

You feel hands running down your thighs and waist and you force yourself to smile and pretend you're loving all this attention, he kisses your neck while talking to another guy. You puts on her best innocent girl face who has no idea what they're talking about.

Looking around the room you can feel a pair of green eyes practically devouring you, the way Natasha is, she seems to be one step away from doing something crazy to get this guy to get his hands off you.

His relationship with Natasha has always been marked by ups and downs. He started with small flirtations, It evolved into big make-out sessions when no one was around, until you started being friends with benefits.

This was never something you liked very much, but you were already madly in love with the redhead and you decided that having her in the early hours of the morning would be better than not having her at all.

Natasha is a mysterious person, sometimes she just wants rough sex, pushing your head on the pillow and fucking you for as long as she can. But sometimes all she wants is laying your head on your chest to talk about things and it leaves you confused because every time you try to talk about feelings she just cuts you

The last time you tried to talk to her about feelings it didn't work out very well and you ended up drifting apart, so being on a mission alone with Natasha is worrying to say the least.

You come back to reality when you finally managed to hear the information you needed, all you had to do was find out the place where a big weapons transfer would be made and it was which was achieved. You look at Natasha who is already staring at you.

You slide off the man's lap and he doesn't seem to even notice you leaving, you walk over to the redhead and discreetly tell her that I got the information. Without wanting any more time in that place, you and the redhead immediately leave that nightclub.

The two of you decided to stay one more night in the small hotel you were staying in, just to see if something else wouldn't happen. The whole way to the hotel was silent and uncomfortable and just imagining that you will have to share another night in bed with the redhead leaves you with shivers.

After you both go to bed, a silence falls between you two, you know you want to talk but neither of you has the courage to start a conversation.

“You seemed very comfortable in that pig's lap" Natasha says and you can feel the jealousy coming out of her. "Oh please, he smelled like old clothes and mold" you say frowning and Natasha thought cute the way your nose wrinkled when talking about the man

“What are you laughing at?" You say, turning to look at the woman and seeing her side profile. "Your accent comes out when you talk like that, you know? It's cute." And there it is again, Natasha who says nice things and it's completely fascinating.

You stay silent again, you need to talk but no one knows what to say first.

“Y/n…”

“Nat…”

You say at the same time, you ended up laughing and letting her talk. " You can talk.”

“I never wanted you to think it was just an affair for me, I admire you and everything you do is perfect. I love the way you try and I love the way you help people and do everything to achieve your dreams and believe me, I would do everything in my power to make them come true because you are my biggest inspiration. I never saw the need to be romantically with someone, for me love was for children and I never felt…”

Natasha took a deep breath and you knew she was doing a lot by opening up to you.

“I've been sexually with some people but I've never felt the need to have them in my life for more than one night. It turns out that with you I felt the need to have you, not just sexually, but I want to protect you and take care of you and help you because I love you.”

You are left speechless, that was all you wanted to hear from Natasha, all those words were much more than you imagined she could say.

You wanted to show Natasha that you also felt this, that you also felt scared and that you also felt this strong feeling and that you loved her too.

With these thoughts you decide to make a bold decision

Natasha seemed surprised and scared when you kissed her, but she held onto your hair without hesitation, sighing on your lips.

There was no language or eroticism, but it was enough to confirm your feelings that had been kept secret for so long.

For Natasha sex was just sex

Foreplay, penetration, orgasm

After that, everyone would leave and never see each other again.

Natasha can say, without error, that you were the first person she had truly kissed with tongue and mutual desire in years. In addition to awakening her most sincere desires. Natasha felt that being with you was something special, new and pure.

Natasha doesn't know if what surprised her most was that you took the initiative in the kiss or the speed at which it evolved.

Natasha thought it felt good to feel your lips on hers and your tongue play with hers. You kiss as if you both miss it, even though you've done it many times before and the last one not long ago.

Without realizing it, the kiss became stronger and more sensual as time passed. Natasha's hands go to her hips, wanting to deepen what they are doing even more. Hear your soft moans against her lips made her wake up from her trance

Natasha doesn't want you to think she said all that just to get you into bed.

“Y/n…” Natasha says, moving slightly away from you, wanting to hide all the desire and excitement she was feeling.

“I don't want to stop" you realize what she's thinking, your eyes meet hers and give her all the confidence she needed.

“We're two grown women Nat, you made a mistake and you apologized and it's not like I was totally right in ignoring you" Natasha's hands are still on her waist

“This is what you want?”

“that's what I want Nat.”

You made a quick path to Natasha's lap and Natasha sighs heavily when a movement of her hips brings yours intimacy into contact. Natasha knows that the movement wasn't accidental by the way you smile during the kiss, proud of the reaction she got from the redhead.

You have always been a calm person and Natasha never imagined that you would have such a bold attitude and this made Natasha anxious for the next step. Natasha takes a large part of your ass, squeezing it between her fingers and smiling.

When our air escapes, Natasha lays you on the bed, getting on top of you and attacking your lips once again. Everything is done quickly.

Her hands roam your body and her lips change their way to your neck when the air runs out once again..

In a hurry, the redhead simulates a penetration movement, causing their sexes to brush against each other once again. Even with the impediment of the pieces of clothing, Natasha feels her body hot when doing this

"Do it again” You ask

“I’ll do it… but I don’t want anything to get in my way this time.”

You understand what she means and give her the necessary consent to act. Natasha sits on the bed, taking off her pajama bottoms with your help..

When Natasha grabs the hem of your blouse, you shake your head in denial, asking for her to hurry up, you didn't want to delay anymore.

Deep down, Natasha wanted this to happen calmly, romantically, but just like you, she also doesn't want wait more

Natasha takes off the bottom part of her sweatpants, along with the boxer shorts that protected her sex. Natasha feels your gaze on every step she takes. You always looked at her with so much desire

Natasha takes off your panties, looking at your face and somehow finding in your gaze that this was your final decision, that you didn't regret it. You nod, taking her hand and take it to your pussy

Natasha massages her clitoris with the tips of her ring and middle fingers, listening to her heavy sigh and feeling the small spasm that her body gives.

You are so sensitive that with every touch she gives you, you react in a pleasant way, begging, even with gestures, that you want more.

Natasha sped up and slowed down when you asked, she inserted her fingers when you said you were ready and moved them as you wanted.

Her insides squeezed the redhead's fingers, squeezing them. You were absurdly wet, so after a few slow thrusts, your low moans of pain became pleas and moans of desire.

You hold the killer's hand and at first she understands it as a request for her to stop, but it wasn't that, it was completely the opposite. “Do not stop." Natasha sits down, moving towards your face and kissing you.

Their tongues move with the same speed as her fingers inside him. Natasha gets a little scared when she feels her fingers running down her belly, reaching her belly. .

Natasha lets out a muffled moan when your hands touch her dick. You are not calm when masturbating the redhead with both hands “Slower…” Natasha asks between moans, hiding her face in your neck. The mutual masturbation didn't last long. Within minutes Natasha was showing signs that she was going to cum, asking you to stop.

Natasha gets into an impasse over which position to choose. In the end, she ends up lying on top, since she didn't want to cum without looking into his eyes.

The redhead rests her arm on the mattress, using her free hand to help fit it into her entrance. As soon as she did, she released the breath trapped in her lungs, completely entering you.

“When I can move, let me know” Natasha says seeing the small face you made. “You can continue, I'm fine” you smile without showing your teeth, giving carte blanche to the redhead to move and start the thrusts.

They are slow. Natasha enters and leaves without any rush, enjoying the moment and the delicious feeling you give her. It's indescribable.The room is so hot at that moment. Being inside you was like heaven, even though the heat exuding from your bodies felt like hell.

Hearing her muffled moans was the only thing at that moment that gave Natasha the strength to hold back her orgasm. Yes... the only thing. Because if she hadn't been holding back so much, she would have released herself with your hands on her

Going slowly, trying not to think about the future helped the redhead to control herself. But you don't really like the way she's doing it. You ask the redhead every second to go faster and harder, she ignore them by following your own speed

Until, of your own accord, you lift your hips. The movement was so delicious that Natasha let out a loud moan, almost cumming right there. “Fuck... Don't do that” Natasha asks, lying down on your body. The redhead stops for a few seconds to compose herself, even so, she don't stop with the slow movements of her hips.

The slow movements you hated so much.

“Do you want to change?” you ask quietly, holding her waist so she could stop her thrusts “You look tired” you look into her eyes seeing the redhead with a sideways smile and arched eyebrows.

“Are you challenging me, Detka?” You lift your hips against hers once more, making her dick enter you once again, harder than the first time. “fuck fuck…”

“You look very tired, babe. I just want to help.” You say, trying to hide a smirk.

“Do better, babe” Natasha uses the same sarcasm as you, changing position and making you on top.

Before fitting her cock into your entrance, you remove your thin pajama shirt and your bra, giving the redhead full view of your completely naked body. It was as if your neck was calling me to be sucked.The redhead lifts up a little, going towards your neck, but your arm stops her. You wanted her to stay lying down.

When you sat on her and started to move, back and forth, making her dick move in and out, the killer realized that this little game was only going to end her

Damn... She won't take it.

The movement was quick, as you wanted. With each muffled moan that left her mouth, she felt her orgasm getting closer.Natasha grabs your hip, helping you with what you wanted. Working together so that we both reached yours orgasms.

The redhead doesn't care about anything anymore. She can't care about anything when her body is against hers, her lips attached to hers, her moans mixing against hers.

“Stay with me…” Natasha asks quietly, kissing your neck. “I don’t want to lose you, stay with me” Natasha begs

You do not answer. But your moan was like confirmation. The redhead, however, wants you to say it in so many words. “Say... Say you’ll stay” you kiss the redhead’s shoulder, nodding.

“I’ll stay… I love you Nat”

You can't hold back anymore. You have your orgasm while biting the redhead's shoulder hard. Natasha knows you want to moan and scream, but she knows you can't. It takes Natasha's ego through the roof, knowing that she gave you that orgasm. Your bite will leave a mark and she doesn't mind letting everyone see.

Natasha continues using her hips to make you move on her lap, hyperstimulating you and letting the peak that she held on to release so much…You moan feeling her cum filling you completely.

That night you spent the whole night together, enjoying each other's bodies, exchanging caresses and kisses. It was, without a doubt, the best night of of your life.