#the very best angel dad to ever exist

[itslucyhenley]

i love everything about Aziraphale’s interactions with Muriel. he’s so gentle every time he tells her she’s getting something wrong by just suggesting the right thing. there’s no stomping on her enthusiasm because he can clearly see they’re enamored with earth and humanity. and Michael Sheen’s little ‘concerned/exasperated/seeing himself in Muriel’ expressions during the teacup struggle bus moment are honestly everything to me.

[hazbinwhoree]

Haiiiii

So I’ve been thinking bout it and I have a sona who’s Asmodues’s daughter

And while I’m not asking to specifically write for my oc,I’m asking for your to write for the idea of it

Like Asmoduess daughter x Adam

And he’s like really fuckin suprised when she says she actually a virgin and then he’s like

“I could fix that”

Asmodeus’ Daughter

Asmodeus’ daughter and the first man in existence was a very unlikely friendship indeed, and neither of them could really tell you how it had happened. Adam normally would never be caught dead fraternizing with a demon, the daughter of one of the Seven Sins no less, but while he’d never admit it, (Name) had wormed her way into the position of his best friend.

Similarly, (Name) would normally avoid angels like the plague, but Adam was an exception. She couldn’t tell you why, but he was. She had to hide their friendship from her father, who would surely lose his mind were he to ever find out.

They were hanging out one day, in (Name)’s bedroom, discussing body counts. “I don’t even know the number anymore,” Adam admitted. (Name) laughed. “You slut!” “Hey!” Adam pretended to be offended. “You’re one to talk. The Avatar of Lust’s daughter? I know damn well you have bodies on bodies.”

(Name) bit her lip. “You’re never going to believe my body count.” Adam leaned forward, interested. “Above or below one hundred?” “Below.” “Ninty something.” (Name) shook her head. “Eighty seven!” “Nope.”

Adam leaned back. “I don’t wanna guess anymore just tell me.”

“Zero.”

There was a beat of stunned silence.

“Zero,” Adam repeated. “You’re full of shit.”

“I’m dead serious,” (Name) said. Adam’s jaw dropped. “You’re fucking Asmodeus’ daughter, how are you a fucking virgin?”

“My Dad is the sin, not me,” (Name) said.

“Wow.” Adam was processing this information. “So you’re really a virgin?”

“Yeah.”

“...I could change that.”

Another beat of silence. (Name) decided he was joking, laughing suddenly. “You’re funny.”

“I’m serious.”

There had always been sexual tension between them, but neither of them ever acknowledged it for the sake of not ruining their friendship.

(Name)’s cheeks reddened slightly. “Oh.”

“I’d be honored to be your first body.”

“I wouldn’t mind you being my first body.”

A pause.

Then they both lurched forward and crushed their lips together. The kiss was passionate and desperate, months of pent up tension being poured out in one kiss. Their tongues tangled together and (Name) moaned against Adam’s mouth.

Adam pushed her down on the bed and crawled on top of her, spreading her legs to settle between them. They continued to makeout, Adam’s hands beginning to wander. He slid his hands up under her shirt and grabbed her chest. “Nice rack.” “Shut up.”

Adam squeezed and massaged her breasts while they reconnected their lips, (Name)’s arms wrapping around his shoulders to pull him closer, trapping his hands between their chests.

(Name) could feel Adam’s erection against her inner thigh and it gave her a thrill.

“Adam,” she moaned.

Adam liked hearing his name, evidently, as his dick twitched. He pulled back to hurridly unzip and shrug off his robe. (Name) pulled her shirt over her head. Adam also removed his shirt. He dropped back down on her again, and ran his hands up and down her sides while they kissed, leaving goosebumps in his wake.

He snuck a hand down between them, sliding under the waistband of her sweatpants. He felt the wet patch on her panties and grinned. “I’m going to be the best body you’ll ever have,” he bragged, pulled her panties to the side and running his finger up and down, collecting her slick.

“How does it feel knowing your first dick is the original dick?”

He slid two fingers into her and her back arched at the intrusion. His thumb pressed on her clit to loosen her up.

“Feels good,” (Name) panted.

“Fuck.” Adam was so hard. It was taking everything in him to not just start fucking her brains out.

He added a third finger and (Name) took it without too much resistance. Adam pumped his fingers in and out for a minute before pulling out and yanking down her sweats and panties. She helped him, kicking them off, and he kneeled back to begin undoing his belt.

His movements were frantic and desperate, tugging down his pants and boxers, and tossing his belt behind him.

(Name)’s mouth went a little dry when she saw Adam’s dick. He really didn’t call himself Dickmaster for nothing. She briefly wondered how she was supposed to fit that inside of her but she trusted Adam.

Adam flipped her onto her stomach and tugged her hips up so her ass was in the air and her face was pressed into the bed.

“This position will be easy,” he told her, dragging his cock up and down her slit. “You ready?”

(Name) had never felt the need to be fucked so badly in her life. “Yes, fucking do it.”

Adam didn’t need to be told twice, and slowly began pushing himself into her. (Name) buried her face in the bed as he sank into her, overwhelmed with pain and pleasure simultaneously. Adam reached around her and began toying with her clit and pain was quickly overcome by pleasure.

Adam bottomed out with a groan. “Fuck, you feel so fucking good.”

“Fuck me,” was (Name)’s response.

Adam obliged happily, snapping his hips. (Name) cried out, gripping the bedsheets. Adam grabbed her hip with his free hand and began to thrust, setting a fast and hard pace. “Adam!” (Name) moaned. Adam bit his lip, his name on her lips shooting straight to his cock.

“Yeah, say my name. Who’s making you feel this good?” “Adam~” “Who’s the fucking Dickmaster?” He thrust particularly hard. “Adam!”

Adam groaned, his hips never slowing their pace. His finger steadily circled her clit in time with his thrusts. (Name) was absolutely fucked out beneath him. Her legs were beginning to shake and Adam had to hold her hips up. He could tell she was close.

“Who’s going to make you cum?” (Name) clenched around him and cried out, her orgasm hitting her hard. “Adam!”

Adam hissed as (Name) tightened around him, the sensation pushing him over the edge. He buried himself as deep as he could and came with a string of curse words.

They both stayed still for a moment, panting and collecting themselves. When Adam pulled out, his cum dribbled down her inner thigh. She collapsed on the bed. Adam collapsed next to her, pulling her into his chest. He covered her with his wing.

“So how was that? Great, right?”

(Name) laughed. “Not that your ego needs to be stroked any more but yes, it was pretty great.”

“I told you, I’m the fucking Dickmaster.”

[lunatic-pudge]

TF2 Mercs Green Flags (except it's very biased)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I love my boys. Yes, this is biased and questionable. But this is meant to be cute and fun.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scout:

-Silly little goober, great person to be around when you need cheering up

-Golden retreiver boyfriend

-Can easily make you laugh without even trying

-Artsy fartsy

Pyro

-Cutie patootie who makes the cutest drawings of you two together

-Owns an Easy Bake Oven

-Master at baking, never-ending supply of sweets for you to indulge in

-Your biggest supporter. Would literally cheer for you if you rob a bank

Soldier

-Also your biggest supporter, will demand that other adore you as well

-Will let you own any pet you want no matter what the animal is

-Speeches of why you're the best thing to ever exist and how America is blessed to have such a beauty like you live there

-Will give you anything and everything you could ever want, like human ears. Definitely a good person to be if you like collecting weird stuff

Demo

-Precious baby boy is a major cuddle bug

-Def knows how to knit/crochet, will make you whatever you want

-Baby man likes learning about folklore/mythology

-He's essentially a big walking teddy bear. Perfect for cuddles, especially on a cold or rainy day

Heavy

-GIANT WALKING TEDDY BEAR

-Protective baby boy, big scary dog privleges

-Bookworm, can recommend a good book if you don't know what to read

-Perfect person to lay around and cuddle with, he can smother me any day. Dates at home are TOP TIER

Engie

-THE BEST PERSON TO GO TO WHEN YOU'RE HAVING AN OFF DAY HANDS DOWN

-Smart boy, can make you stuff that helps with day to day activities which is helpful if you can't do certain things to having a disability or something

-Dad bod, dad bod, dad bod, dad bod, dad bod, can't get enough of it

-Voice of an angel, will sing for you if you'd like. Can def sing you to sleep

Medic

-NERD, he's an adorable nerd! Let him ramble about his hyperfixations!

-Def a good pet owner, would kill someone if they don't take proper care of their pets

-Would make sure you take care of yourself, he's kinda like a dad that cares

-He's such a maniac. I can see him just secretly being up to no good all the time. And he's also very girlypop

-Putting an extra for him cause I can: Medic boobs. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk

Sniper

-Sweet, precious baby boy who can do no wrong. He strikes me as someone who listens to EVERYTHING when it comes to music. He ain't genrephobic

-Also a collector of weird things. Likes making bone jewlery. Bone boy

-I just love the concept of him being feral? This is probably the weirdest thing on the list. Like there's the golden retreiver boyfriend (Scout), and then there's the feral boyfriend (Sniper). Literally acts like a cat, hiding away from people, hissing when people that aren't you tries to touch him, will demand attention/affection from you, ect. I need to make a more detailed idea of a feral boyfriend so work with me plz

-He would absolutely let you wear his clothes, thinking about how adorable you look. He'd do the same with your clothes if they're big enough for his lanky body. You two swap jackets in the winter time so you guys always have a piece of each other when you two are busy and aren't able to see each other

Spy

-I know a running joke is that Spy is a smelly French asshole, but I really do think that he wears some of the nicest smelling cologne out there. Expensive af colonge, but damn, it's addicting

-Smarty pants. Not just anyone can be a spy, it takes quite a bit of intellect for it. And not to mentions he knows multiple languages? Love it, even if I hate the French language with a burning passion

-Him having a good taste in fashion? He's gotta know what he's doing by wearing suits all the time. Not only does he look fresh af, but people always look so good in a suit, especially when it fits them. But please also picture him dressed in a more romantic goth aesthetic plz, okay I'll stop now

-Is good at paying attention to even the littlest of details about his partners. Even if you're trying to be cryptic or subtle about things, he'll always find out. He's def a protective type too

[societalenemynumberone]

Deadpool quotes but with my Lucifer's older sibling!reader idea-

Reader: [First day in Hell, in the middle of a fistfight] Have you seen this woman?

[holds up a bad crayon drawing of Charlie]

Sera: You've been warned, Reader. This is a shameful and reckless use of your powers. You will be coming with us

Reader: Look, Sera, I don't have time for the goody two-shoes bullshit right now

Alastor: Do you have off an switch?

Reader: Yeah, it's right next to the prostate. Or is that the on switch?

Reader; [after finding out about Charlie's existence] You're clowning. You're not clowning? I sense clowns

Charlie: Feeling a bit lonely?

Reader: Only sometimes when I'm by myself. Or other times when I'm with other people.

Reader: [First ever conversation with an awe-eyed Charlie] You're probably thinking, "My dad said that his older sibling is the second most just being in all of creation, but his sibling just turned that guy into a fucking kabab!" Well, I may be just, but I'm no hero. And yeah, technically, that was a murder. But some of the best love stories start with a murder. And that's exactly what this is, a platonic love story.

Reader: [to Sera] Listen, the day I decide to become a crime-fighting shit swizzler, who rooms with a bunch of other little whiners in the Lord's Kingdom with some creepy, [points to Adam] Heaven's Gate-looking motherfucker... on that day, [points to Emily] I'll send her shiny, happy ass a friend request

Reader [Helping in the second extermination]: Daddy needs to express some rage.

[starts firing their guns]

Reader: Listen, Angel, if I never see you again, I want you to know that I love you very much. I also buried 1,600 kilos of cocaine somewhere in the hotel - right next to the answer for getting out of a soul contract. Good luck.

Angel Dust: [Grinning] You fucking asshole

Alastor: Morningstar!

Reader: How can I help you? Besides luring women into dark, creepy basements.

Reader: [Just learned how to use a phone, looking at a text from Angel] What is that?

Husk: That's the shit emoji. You know the turd with the smiling face and the eyes. I thought it was chocolate yogurt for so long

Sera: I've given Reader every chance to join us but they'd rather act like a child. A heavily armed child. When will they grow up and see benefits of joining the Angelic Council?

Emily: Which benefits? Commiting genocide for amusement? Or the Angel that falls every few decades?

Sera: Please, falling out of Heaven builds character

Reader: Superhero landing. She's gonna do a superhero landing. Wait for it...

[Lute jumps from the platform and lands]

Reader: [clapping their hands] Whoo! Superhero landing! You know, that's really hard on your knees

Charlie: [Stopping Reader from killing Valentino] I can't allow this, Reader. Please, come quietly.

Reader: You blonde cock-gobbler!

Charlie: That's not nice.

Reader: You're really gonna fuck this up for me? Trust me, that squeaking bag of dick-tips has it coming. He's pure evil. Besides... Nobody's getting hurt.

[a dead body falls off an overhead building]

Reader: That guy was already up there when I got here.

[celaenaeiln]

“always an angel, never a god” and making it about the robins with batman is heartbreaking and all but have you considered:

the robins to the previous robin.

robins 2-5 looking at robin 1. the hero worship, the love they have for dick grayson. they want to live up to “the golden boy” “the golden standard”. they want to make him proud.

but dick grayson himself? he looks at batman, in his eyes he doesn’t live up to his mentor. sure he thinks he’s good, but it’s not like he thinks he’s the best. to himself, he isn’t “the golden child”, he’s not “the golden standard”, there’s too many mistakes, too many sins, to make him view himself the way others view him

“always an angel, never a god.”

Anon are you providing a sample? Drop the album!!

Just - Perfect.

There's actually a time when Damian is feuding with Tim about something and he's like Grayson is the "Golden Child", Todd is the "Black Sheep", and you're something something. He didn't actually say "something something" but you get the point. Damian doesn't like to be forthcoming with his words, but - "We were the best, Richard. No matter what anyone thinks." THOSE WORDS CAME OUT OF HIS MOUTH. The fact that Damian literally calls him the golden child tho is literally ascending me. He loves his dad.

Jason gets fear-gassed once in Truth & Justice (2021) comic and it reveals that one his worst fears has always been about living up to the massive legacy Dick left behind. There's a change in the way Dick is portrayed because Jason is terrified of Nightwing, not Dick. Because he knows that Dick loves him and stuff but Nightwing is downright petrifiying. Because Nightwing and as Robin, Dick created the firsts for everything. The first partner, the first side-kick, the person who created their world. Not just Jason's but Dick opened up the gateway to Every. Single. Hero. That came after him. And he did it perfectly. He excelled in every aspect imaginable and then surpassed them to create the golden standard that every single person that came after strived to touch. Not just for what they should do, but who they should be.

Tim straight up tells Dick to his face every time that Dick is the best robin that ever existed. No squalms, no hesitation, it's just pure fact for Tim. There is simply, no one better.

Batman/Catwoman: The Gotham War: Scorched Earth

Stephanie didn't have a lot of interactions with Dick and she wasn't close to him but she still had a huge deal of respect for him. It was almost deference, the way she treated him. I considered that it might be because he was Batman but she treated Batman very differently than she treated Dick!bats.

But despite literally every single Robin thinking how perfect Dick is, how unattainable he set the standards, Dick himself feels so pale in comparison to his mentor.

I wrote this post a long while back regarding Dick's thoughts of insecurities about bruce to the tune of Toxic Thoughts by Faith Marie which pretty much encapsulates all his worries. But the thing is, even Bruce tells dick how amazing he is and he's so much better than him, and he means it.

There's a time when Bruce fights each of his former robins and he takes them all down easily but he's trekking his way to the last one and he's says "Attack of the Robins, that leaves only the first one. Hand-to-hand, the toughest of them all." He says this all in his mind. Which means when he tells Dick he's better, he really means it but Dick? Dick will never, ever understand the weight of Bruce's sincerity towards him. He always thinks he's not a good enough leader, good enough detective, good enough whatever there is. In his mind he will never be good as Bruce in anyway because for him Bruce is the best person to ever exist. For him, despite everyone in the entire superhero community exalting him and singing his praises, he feels he'll never be like his hero.

"always an angel, never a god."

Anon, that - 😌🤌✨

Glorious. Simply a magnificently apt description.

But you know who this insecurity really affects more than him?

The Robins! Literally everyone else!

You know, there's actually panel about Roy that explains how he feels about Dick's insecurities towards Bruce-

Arsenal Issue #2

And the reason why I brink it up is because I think this is exactly how Jason feels about Dick. In Jason's eyes there is no one better than Dick and it's a nasty feeling that the person he thinks it the best feels inferior to someone else.

Tim also has opinions on the same line except in his case, he hates Dick's unconditional loyalty towards Bruce (yes I'm referencing gotham knights). He loves Bruce but he hates that Dick loves him to the point that he'll follow him endlessly because he has this romanticized, rose-sunglasses view of Bruce. WHICH IRONICALLY ROY ALSO FEELS-

The Titans (1999) Issue #15

Gotham Knights Issue #26

Where it bothers Roy and Jason that Dick would think anyone is better than him, it rankles Tim and Roy that he's being subservient to a mentor he's far better than.

Even Steph was like, "Dude we need you. Where were you?"

Batman and Robin Eternal Issue #2

And Dick's like "Bruce needed me.."

Batman and Robin Eternal Issue #2

He looks so tired, doing God's bidding. But this aligns perfectly with the fact that Bruce has a canonical god complex AKA consistently inflated feelings of personal ability, privilege, or infallibility. People who have god complexes are highly dogmatic in their views, meaning the person speaks of their personal opinions as though they were unquestionably correct.

Literally and metaphorically he's an actual angel because he works as a messenger of God (Bruce in the DC world) and is the epitome of goodness, someone who always offers comfort and aid to everyone.

[ravenstargames]

I have to ask since the Grandfather Pride question was asked and melted me: the LI’s age-old meme reactions to the “I want a baby” text 😂 and then their actual feelings about having kids (and how they are with them 🥰)?

FINALLY I have time to answer the second part of your ask, anon! Sorry for making you wait this long, the Kickstarter page is hoarding all my time T_T 💜

✦ The LIs' / ROs' feelings about having kids and how they are with them!

✦ Amon: Kids love him—he's one of the pack, after all! The cool guy with the eye patch! And Amon loves them back, of course, but only for a short while. He gets easily overwhelmed. He'd be fine having one or maybe two kids of his own. Being a parent is difficult, which doesn't mean he wouldn't do his best to be the greatest dad to ever exist, but it'd be a bumpy ride for him for sure.

✦ Raeya: She's used to be a role model for kids, so when they meet her in person, she's slightly nervous about giving a good impression, so it's hard for her to let go and just have fun. She has thought about having kids in the past, but she's not confident she'd be a good parent.

✦ Gael: He dreams of having a family as wonderful as his own. He's very sweet to kids, can read them very well, and would be an amazing, understanding and loving parent. He's a worrywart, though, and tends to pamper and overprotect kids in general, so you can guess that'll become "worse" with his own kids.

✦ Envy: Kids make him nervous and they usually don't like him because of their looks. Also, in general, kids fear him because of what's said of him. He's not cruel to kids in the slightest, but they put him on edge. They don't really like the idea of having kids of their own, unfortunately.

✦ Ara: Ara is the best sister in the world (quotation needed), and kids are obsessed with her because "her hair looks like a cloud and smells like candy." She has a lot of experience with kids and can make the naughtiest child behave like an angel. Wouldn't mind forming a family of her own in the future!

✦ Xal: Scared of kids, uncomfortable around them. He has this perception of kids being usually mean and he thinks they are always judging him. He tends to stay away from them, but that doesn't mean he's not nice to them, or tries to be. Doesn't imagine himself being a parent, but he doesn't dislike the idea.

✦ Father Pride: Well, he has raised six of them, so what can I say! He loves kids. Unlike Amon, Pride has all the patience in the world, never gets tired, and sees kids as little people everyone should learn from. Having more kids, though...........maybe he has had enough of that!

[coraniaid]

I guess I'm running the risk of sounding like a broken record at this point, but I don't think I'll ever not be deeply depressed by the way so many people on here talk about Joyce Summers.

I mean, I'm just thinking out loud here, but.  Maybe the reason that Giles was much more immediately accepting of Buffy's identity as the Slayer than Joyce was might have something to do with the fact that Giles has been training to be a Watcher for over three decades when he first meets Buffy? That his family sat him down and explained to him that vampires were real when he was a child, and that he's had over thirty years to get used to that fact? And that he is in fact literally paid to train Buffy and mentor her and prepare her for being killed in the Cruciamentum after she turns eighteen and he helps rob her of her powers her destiny? 

Whereas Joyce learns about the reality of vampires and Slayers and the supernatural for the very first time while in a state of extreme emotional distress, only hours after discovering that her daughter is wanted by the police for murder, and in circumstances such that Buffy simply has no time to sit her down and explain things in more detail in the manner they would both want?  Which is a turn of events that can be attributed in large part to the fact that Giles himself repeatedly told Buffy that she couldn't possibly tell her mother about vampires, even after (1) a vampire attacked her in her own home (in Season 1's Angel) and even after (2) the vampire Buffy had been dating, who had a standing invitation into her house, lost his soul and started going after the people closest to her, people explicitly including Joyce. (And note that Giles never offers a better argument for not sharing this potentially life-saving information than Xander's "the more people who know the secret the more it cheapens it for the rest of us".)

I mean, I know you're all pretty wedded to the popular competing theory that it's because *checks notes* Giles is a perfect dad who Buffy should have been much more grateful and sympathetic towards while Joyce is an evil bitch who never once did a good thing for her daughter (and Buffy must be stupid for ever thinking or saying otherwise), but the problem is that that theory is … uh, bad, actually.  Really incredibly cartoonishly bad. And dressing it up in pseudo-progressive language doesn't make it any better.

Wringing your hands over how poorly you think the show writes middle-aged women as if there's simply nothing to be done about it except conclude that they are indeed horrible people (and maybe give them some completely new flaws the show never did), while at the same time you write endless hagiographies and apologia for the show's canonically terrible (and often just as badly under-written) men is definitely a choice though.

And yes, it is definitely true that Giles matters more to the story of Buffy the Vampire Slayer than Joyce does. It is clear that the writers care about him more as a character than they care about Joyce, and that he is consistently used in a metaphorical way that Joyce normally isn't. At best you can perhaps argue that Joyce exists to vocalize and reify Buffy's own lingering desires to be seen as respectable and 'normal', but I don't think this is a reading the show ever commits to in the systematic way it does the Mind/Heart/Spirit reading of Giles/Xander/Willow. But on a less metaphorical level, thinking about the different characters of the show purely as distinct people in their own right, nothing Buffy says or does ever suggests she cares about her relationship with Giles more than her relationship with Joyce. Quite the opposite, in fact.

[elisysd]

12. Don't give me up, cause what about, what about angels

Masterlist - Previously - Next

Chapter soundtrack: What About Angels - Birdy

Charles saw you tensing after your mother’s cold greeting. He hated how you flinched as she was reminding you that being late was disrespectful towards your dad’s special day, that being away from home and in a big city had made you lose sight of the values they had taught you. But he hated even more how you simply smiled and apologized. He needed all his self control to not take your side, he knew how anxious this whole situation was making you feel, he didn’t want to make it worse by saying something he knew wouldn’t be well received.

The first thing he noticed in the house’s hall was the amount of family pictures, but instead of four people on them were only three. He recognised your mom, assumed the man beside her was your dad and when he thought he would notice you, it was instead your little brother. He couldn't be wrong, he looked exactly like you. The pictures were cut in a certain way that didn’t take him a long time to understand that you had been cut out of them. He felt a wave of rage hitting him. Why make you come here if your parents had gone to such an extent as to erase every trace of your existence? It was a twisted joke.

“You don’t even call anymore, Y/N. I knew it would happen, I’ve always said that being in a world full of sparks and empty promises would change you. You’re too gullible. You don’t even have time for your own family anymore. Not that you ever had.”

“You’ve never tried to ask questions about my job…” you mumbled as Charles put a comforting hand on your hip.

“I don’t need to. I know exactly what you do, you’re the talk of the town. The small town girl made it to the TV. There is no reason to be proud, playing a pretty face on tv… that is not what I raised you to be. And now you’re associating yourself with fair-weather friends…” she said, darting judgmental eyes on Charles. “I know exactly who you are.”

He didn’t have the time to reply as your dad entered the room and sat on the chair without a word. You sat too, Charles close to you as your mom joined your dad’s side. 

“How nice it is to finally see you alive.” he said, making you gulp.

“I’m Charles, your daughter’s boyfriend. Nice to meet you.” he introduced himself in a desperate attempt to drive the conversation away from you and the relieved sigh you let out made him think that you appreciated it. 

Lunch was awkward, punctuated with snarky comments here and there that you tried your best to ignore. Charles was trying to do the same but it was getting harder and harder for him to keep his calm. But it was when cake was brought that resentment and unspoken words finally came out in the open. You had taken your phone out of your pocket, wanting to show your parents all the beautiful landscapes you had the chance to witness. 

“Aren’t you ashamed?” your mom muttered.

“Why?” you turned your head to look at her in disbelief.

“Ashamed of following the sport that killed your brother. Ashamed of being with the man responsible for his death.” she sternly said.

You felt like a million daggers stabbing your heart all at once. You took a deep breath, putting your hand on his thigh, squeezing it lightly to indicate to him  not to react. It was something you had to do alone.

“F1 and Charles didn’t kill Luc, it was his leukemia, not anything else.” you replied, feeling a lump in your throat.

“If you had not introduced your brother to that stupid sport, he wouldn’t have been a fan and his illness wouldn't have turned that bad so quickly. He wasn’t talking about anything else than that sport and you. Until his very last breath. His last words were about Formula 1. It took my baby away from me and this is your fault. Both of you.” she finished, turning to Charles this time.

“If I can add something… I know I have no right to comment on this situation but even if I understand your pain, Y/N is not the one to blame. She…” Charles started, quickly shutted up by your dad.

“You’re right, you have no right to say a  thing. You don’t know what it is like to lose a son.”

“Maybe I don’t, yeah. But I know exactly what it feels like to lose a parent. I understand your pain. Truly. But with all due respect, you’ve already lost a son, you should be more careful to not lose a daughter by pushing her away and making her feel like a stranger in her own family.”

“We’ve already lost her the minute she decided to not show up at the funeral.” your mom spitted, making you close your eyes, trying to not cry. You wouldn’t give that pleasure to your parents.

“I think it’s best if we leave. It was a bad idea to come here, anyway.” you ended up saying, standing up, Charles following you. “You shouldn’t have invited me in the first place, if it was to treat me that way.”

You took Charles’ hand in yours and dragged him out of what had been once your safe place. Without a word you made your way to his car and rushed inside and it was only when the door was closed and that he had taken place behind the wheel that you broke down. He didn’t hesitate to pull you on his lap and let you cry on his shoulder, holding you tight.

“It’s okay, babe… you’re okay. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. You don’t have to feel bad, you have nothing to feel bad about. If you were believing your mom’s lies, I understand why you were so mean to me at the beginning now.”

“She is not entirely wrong, you know.” you sniffed in his neck. “At least about one thing, I should’ve been there for Luc’s funeral. But it was too hard for me. I didn’t want to face the fact that I would never see him again. I didn’t want to make the nightmare I was in real. because if I was going, it would happen exactly that. It would have made the pain real and permanent. I couldn’t.”

You put your forehead against his, trying to find a way to ground you. Charles drew small patterns on your hips, comforting you the best he could. 

“Let’s get some fresh air, okay?” he whispered against your ear.

You got out of the car and hand in hand you started to wander the streets of your childhood, telling him anecdotes and facts of any buildings and streets you were walking on and seeing.

“Tell me about Luc.” 

“What do you want to know?” 

“Everything. Whatever you want. Whatever you feel comfortable sharing with me.”

“He was passionate. About many things. History and art mostly. He wanted to work in a museum. And passionate about F1 of course. He knew a lot of mechanical stuff, more than I did. He taught me as much as I did, I swear. Maybe more. I was spending my weekends at the hospital with him to watch the races. When he was hospitalized, it was what kept him going. It was our thing, you know. Wait, I think I have a picture to show you.”

She took a photo out of her wallet and gave it to him. If he didn’t know it was a hospital room, he would have had a hard time guessing it. Everywhere were Ferrari and monegasque flags as well as a lot of merch. He was recognising one of his caps on the bedside table. Posters of his podiums were hung on the walls, his Monza’s win right above Luc’s head. Small replicas of his trophies were there too as well as miniatures of his helmets.

“A real fan.” he smiled.

“The best.” you sighed. “ You don’t know how happy he was when you won in Monza. It brought so much joy in his life. Even if it wasn’t for long. It was a tough time, he had just started to get hospitalized, he was very sick and pale and the shell of what he once was. And suddenly, he was feeling a little more alive. Because of you. Then, time went by and I had to leave for New York. It was the toughest decision I had to make in my life. At some point I was ready to take a year off so I could be with him…” 

“What made you change your mind?”

“Him. With time my dream became his. He wouldn’t have forgiven me if I was giving it all up because he was sick. He was talking about how amazing it would be if I was interviewing you. I bet he is the happiest up there.” you smiled, looking up. “One of his dreams was to meet you.”

“Maybe it is not too late?” Charles hesitantly said and you looked at him curiously. “Is he buried here?”

You nodded and he felt you stiffened.

“I've never been on his grave.” you confessed after a moment of silence. “It’s too hard and too painful to go there alone.”

“Good thing you’re not alone anymore, then.”

As you were making your way to the graveyard, Charles had to hold you closer to his chest with each step you were taking. You sobs were getting louder and your legs were shakier. It was breaking his heart, trying to see how much you were trying to keep it together.

When you finally reached the grave, at the back end of the graveyard, you fell on your knees in front of the black grave. Luc hated black. A black and white picture of him was also in the middle of the gravestone. It made you shiver. It was well kept, your parents were coming often. The lump in your throat had not gone away in the slightest, it was even bigger now, making you choke up on your own saliva. Charles wanted to hold you, wanted to get you out of here. The emotional devastation you were in was making him want to join you on the ground and cry with you. But he also knew you needed it. It was the closure you needed to move forward. He took a few steps away, giving you privacy.

“I’m so sorry, Luc. So sorry. Sorry about how I wasn’t there for you when you needed me most, sorry to have let you down, sorry to not have stepped up and measured up when I should have, sorry to not have been the sister you deserved. There is not a day that goes by when I don’t regret not being by your side. There are so many things that I should have done differently, so many things that I feel guilty about but none of them compare to how guilty I feel to not have said goodbye. I acted like a coward and I know how much you felt scared about dying. And how I promised you I would hold your hand until the end. I didn’t. I chickened out and I failed you. If I could go back in time, I would, just so I could look into your eyes one last time and hold your hand tight. I wouldn’t hesitate. I would trade anything for one last smile of yours. I hope you can forgive me, I sure can’t do that alone. But despite everything I’m happy and I’m not sure I should be. I fell in love and you would be ecstatic to know who I share my life with. He is supportive and kind and perfect for me. I wish we would have had enough time so you could have met him. But maybe after all, it’s you I should thank. Maybe it’s you who sent Charles on my way. Maybe it is your way of telling me that you are not mad at me. That you want me to be happy. If only you could give me a sign. I just want you to know that everything I do, I do it for you. Because I love you. Forever.”

You felt Charles’ arms around your shoulders as he crouched down beside you.

“Hey, Luc. I know we don’t know each other but your sister talks about you so much that I feel like I already know you. I would have loved to meet you, I know how big of a fan you are of F1. I would have loved to show you around the paddock, maybe I would have let you sit in my car. Anything to make you and your sister smile. You are brave and strong and I have nothing but pure admiration for you. I wish I could have met you. Don’t worry about your sister, I take good care of her and I don’t want to let go of her. I’m here for her for as long as she lets me but I hope it is a forever kind of thing.” he whispered as you looked at him with big and glossy eyes.

He helped you stand up, asked if you were alright and if you wanted to leave. He didn’t mind staying but he wanted to make sure you were alright, the day had been emotionally draining enough. When you nodded, he took you in his arms, engulfing you in his jacket so you weren’t cold and kissed the top of your head as you headed out.

“I’m so proud of you. So proud.” he said as you finally reached his car.

“Thank you. For being there. I don’t think I would have been able to do it alone.”

“You’re the strongest person I know. You would have done it at some point.”

“Did you mean it? What you said up there… About us being forever.” you shyly asked.

“I’m sorry it was not the best time to say it. But to answer you, I do. I’m not kidding, Y/N, I swear I can’t explain it. I don’t know how either but I just know. You’re the love of my life.”

Author's note: In laws meeting incoming... how do you think it will turn out? .

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[deansmom]

The fact that the spn fandom is entirely incapable of a nuanced discussion involving Dean and the relationship with his mother shouldn’t surprise me as much as it did when I came back to fandom, and as much as it still does when I’m forced to see it with my own two eyeballs

Mary Winchester was a person before she was a mother, and I’m going to be so honest with you, I think by the time she died, John didn’t like who that person was. So I think when she died, he did what a lot of people do, which is put the person they lost on a pedestal. And that’s who Dean grew up hearing about, that’s what all of his memories of his mom were contextualized with, this person who didn’t exist. And so then his mom comes back and I think it’s very, very clear to Dean almost immediately that this isn’t the same person John told him about.

In the real world, we have no context to draw from and nothing to compare it to, the experience of getting a dead parent back and to be part of your life again. We can’t know how he felt beyond what we were shown in canon - So of course Dean is thrilled, but he’s also a Winchester and deeply traumatized, and tries so hard to make it seem normal and not internalize his complicated feelings about her and her being alive. He’s dealing with:

Grappling with losing the mother he was told she was and resenting mary for it because she’s standing in front of him

Realizing that John robbed so much from him by denying him the version of his mother who feels like looking in a mirror

The guilt of how and why mary is there

Trying to reconcile his feelings of resentment and anger that he knows should be directed at John, but John’s not there, so they end up getting directed at mary, and feeling bad about that

A deeply traumatized inner child who has his safe person back, and just wants his mom to hold him and tell him it’s going to be okay, but he knows that isn’t fair to ask of her

And meanwhile mary was dealing with

✨trauma✨ from being brought back to life

Having to confront her own failures as a parent (which is silly it’s not her fault she died but y’know, feelings tend to be silly)

Having to reconcile her toddler with the man in front of her who’s older than her being her son

Seeing so much of John’s worst qualities in both of them and recognizing the trauma of a shitty dad

The fact that they had this idea of who she was, and it’s nothing like her at all, and trying to understand why John would lie to them while also probably coming to terms with what looks like confirmation of her own worst fears about who she was as a parent

I cannot stress this enough: the last time her feet touched the ground, she had been married, with a new baby, and a 4 year old, she wasn’t a hunter, John barely knew about hunting, and it was the 80’s. She woke up in what, 2017 and her husband’s dead, her babies are grown men (again: older than her!!!) and the most prolific hunters in the world. Oh, also, angels? God? The afterlife?? Funny story! Like I’m sorry, you wanted her to have well-adjusted coping skills for that????

The Mary hate just gets me because she’s Dean in a different font, and so many of y’all hate her for such superficial bullshit that you could let go of if you took 5 seconds to think about the situation critically for both of them. The only bad guy here is, was and will always be John Winchester. John was there, but Mary tried her best. Mary tried to do what was best for them when she left, because she didn’t want to damage their idea of who she was anymore than she had. Mary literally died trying to save Sam from the destiny that heaven had written for him - John couldn’t be bothered to think about his kids.

And if you think that Dean ever genuinely hated Mary, your critical thinking skills need some work. The thing that prompts his speech in 12.22 is Mary saying to his younger self, “I only want good things for you, Dean. I'll never let anything bad happen to you.” So he says

I hate you. And I love you. 'Cause I can't – I can't help it. You're my Mom. And I understand...'cause I have made deals to save the ones I love more than once.

I forgive you. I forgive you. For all of it. Everything. On the other side of this, we can start over, okay? You, me, Sam. We can get it right this time. But I need you to fight. Right now, I need you to fight. I need you – I need you to look at me, Mom. I need you to really look at me and see me. Mom, I need you to see me. Please.

Translation: “you’re right. I resent you for not being the person I was sold, I resent you for your death being the thing that ruined dad, I resent you for being the touchstone for so many of heaven’s plans for us. I resent you because you’re here, and John isn’t, and it’s easier to hate someone tangible than someone dead. And if I hate you, it’s only because I can see so much of myself in you, and I’m so incredibly angry that John treated us the way he did. My whole world, my whole identity revolves around you being someone that you never were, and wrapping my head around that is scary, but when I pull my head out of my ass and look around, you were just a kid. And you did your best, you’ve always tried to do what’s best for me and Sam, and I don’t hate you. I don’t know if I like you right now because you’re a stranger, which is scary - but I love you. So please, mom, I’m sorry that I’ve been taking my bullshit out on you. Just… try. For me. Please.”

Anyways!!! You guys don’t deserve Mary.

[dragon-queen21]

Hope it’s okay that im back :3 I saw that you said it’s cool to ask for multiple as long as they’re separate? I was also wondering if you have any thoughts for carer Diluc <3 !

Caregiver Diluc headcanons

+regressors Aether, Kaeya, and Venti

Absolutely it’s alright to send multiple requests at once! The separate part is just for my own peace of mind trying to complete things in an organized manner, especially being a multifandom blog. You did it completely right!

Also I’m answering by this one first because Diluc brain rot is real and I will take any excuse to ramble about him. Okay onto headcanons now :D

~~~

~Mondstadts’ resident papa™

~He denies it to the very end about ever caring. The copious amounts of agere gear stored at the Dawn Winery (and the smaller stash at Angel’s Share) begs to differ

~Comes homes more times than not with a little one

~He’s Aether’s main caregiver. Babysits for his brother (who 8 times out of 10 will drag Diluc into headspace along with him- he swears the younger does it on purpose but he has no proof) and for Venti. (At this point he might as well be the bard’s main cg it just isn’t ‘official’)

~Diluc’s babysat Sucrose and Albedo once or twice on the very rare chance that they are both small at the same time

~Aether accidentally called him “Dad” tried to quickly change it to “Diluc” and now it’s a running joke to call him “Dadluc”

Aether: *exists* Diluc: (pulls out adoption papers) Kaeya meanwhile: (resigned to getting another adopted brother)

~Super overprotective

~A little rough around the edges and he has definitely made his little ones cry on accident. Which usually has him freaking out and asking Jean for advice

~Grape juice >>>> apple juice. He claims it’s a healthier alternative. Aether doesn’t care either way as long as it’s in a bottle. Venti will cry once he tastes the drink, calms down after a while. And Kaeya will throw a temper tantrum (and the bottle right back at his brother’s head-)

~Tells the best bed time stories. Mostly of a certain dark knight hero that- no- he has no idea who it is under the mask- hush you’re going to ruin the story

~I have the super cute idea of Diluc babysitting all three regressors at once and them all falling asleep starfished across Diluc in his bed. He’s a living furnace it’s not the little’s ones fault he’s so comfy

[spotlightlowlife]

Mammon is the best written character in Helluva Boss!

He reflects the 'sins' of others back at them, audience included.

Was he a worst boss than Blitzø?

Was young Blitzø right to try and hinder Fizz's dreams?

See through her successful execution, was Bee not just as shallow business friendly?

Is he any more responsible for the sxxbots than Ozzie?

Was Ozzie withholding the foundation Fizz was frantically looking for as he tried to talk him out of the pageant, only revealing it and handing it over when he give up trying something that's just fine?

Do Fizz's other bad experiences pale in comparison to working with Mammon?

Bosses are bad, parents suck and anyone with power is an issue really, they upset the fav and if it's a problematic fav, well it's this baddies fault.

Formulaic? Yes.

I like this show and have no issue admitting it's definitely guilty of all these, case in point with the character in question, an employer and royalty who refers to his victum as child, stepchild and granchild, but this show has an additional villain common theme, which is sex and lack of.

Where Verosika is an actual sucubus and former love interest of Blitzø and Barbie debuted manipulating a teenage boy, Mammon instead comes from a long line of de-sexualised non throw away adversaries, following in the footsteps of business bad dad Paimon, failing business bad dad Buckzo and self made widower bad dad Crimson, along with the "prude" angels and Striker, who Millie's parents were very fond of whilst openly disproving of Millie's choice of husband in Moxxie, who struck up a one sided rivalry with Striker, only Striker wasn't interested in either of them.

Mammon joins this club by showing his discomfort at the prospect of producing sexbots, quickly rebuking any potential critics in words of pure projection. Years later these dolls have low gone down well because they are marketed in all areas, though their appears to still be little appreciation for them as first one we meet is poorly maintained dispite being a host at a large family amusement park.

Still, he made the bots work even though it wasn't for him. Ironically it is Ozzie the prince of lust who manufactures the dolls, yet the doll proposal (which the audience were made aware of) and assumed business collaboration between the two princes was a thing before Fizz chose entered the (optional) competition, won and found fame, yet now Ozzie has caught feelings for Fizz there's now issue with his sxdolls existing and who's fault is this?

Another thing Mammon appeared to talk down on was pageants, but still, he stepped back from his "clown stuff" he "doesn't even do [clown stuff] anymore" and into that boss, mentor/instructor/agent, stage parent role to train who ever happened to win the pageant, his methods are reminiscent of many of those who rigidly train performing artists, like it or not.

It was a disingenuous claim for Ozzie to make that Mammon has done nothing for Fizz, better performer maybe, doesn't need that gig definitely, but a dislike of someone doesn't equal they're good for nothing as much as people get comfortable believing and this invalidates Fizz's stress, guilt and loyalty based on feelings of debt and inadequacy.

Fizz needed the confidence to be able to move on, his situation wasn't an unrelatable one, there's nothing wrong with taking all you have gained, bidding farewell and leaving certian situations behind. Though the episode moved in the 'business is bad, bosses are bad' direction, yet still Mammon was the one to make this turn fun.

Seriously though, we only ever hear of business in passing from Stolas, Ozzie or Bee, Bee and Ozzie getting to have nothing but fun whilst fulfilling their role, getting up close and personal, forming loving relationships with those at the very bottom of the social structure we are supposed to believe is a thing. Mammon on the other hand, insincere affection and vulgarity aside, was rather professional - as insincere as his interest in wellbeing may be he did still show up when Fizz stalker approached to ask how Fizz was and did offer to let Glitz and Glam performe first which was undeniably helpful, even if it was just to get back on track. He was consistent with his work and purpose, who didn't let us know of any interests outside of work, we never know what is his opinion, so was the "women just aren't funny" remark, that wasn't a joke and was retracted later, based on sales, as he really didn't care who entered or won any of the pageants and the context was to not waste anyone's time?

Is he more chauvinistic than Fizz and Blitzø who referred to Glitz and Glam as "bitches", "snatches" and "sluts"?

Another remark was Fizz's supposed weightgain, again, not a joke, just who does constantly put up with totally uncalled for fat jokes at work? Moxxie. Blitzø would react to a weight gain remark directed at Fizz but unlike Mammon who took back a previous statement without really needing to, do we get the impression that Blitzø now regrets partaking in fat jokes aimed at his most erratic employee?

In Blitzø we get someone who isn't very professional, who is overly personal and aggressive with his employees, whose screen time has deviated from the business he made the effort to set up, who doesn't listen to idea or reason, knows best and makes poor business decisions such as spending a chunk of money advertising on a tv station that hardly has viewers. Pilot matters, content is content.l for us to eat up.

Blitzø let's Fizz know that he's being spoken to in a way he shouldn't, yet within his almost every communication with Moxxie being cruel, he too has behaved in a dismissive toxic positive way, remember the party thrown for Moxxie who had to do something he felt conflicted in doing then didn't feel good about it later? Who cared if he enjoyed himself.

Moxxie's behaviour during the recent summer camp episode was heavily down to finally getting the freedom work without being shot down, berated, threatened and ignored. He would go on to realise that his desperation to work his vision resulted in him not listening to Millie and being insensitive and he corrected himself. Great character development, in an episode were we followed the main characters at work, something we do half the time.

On the subject of work.

All those years ago, why exactly did Blitzø cringe the very moment Mammon proposed the pageant that would have the winner work with him? Because he didn't want to risk Fizz leaving his side, he made that clear, he even strategically answered but not really Fizz's question about if he could win, but what shadowed this was his later decision that the show turned out to be a waste of his savings, there were too many clowns and Mammon puked and passing out on stage. Same Blitzø who was enthused to be there, showed no disdain to clowns and had no plans to leave his family circus, dumping on Fizz's dreams out of nervousness at things changing and being left behind.

Fast forward and the once mild mannered Blitzø has grown into an obnoxious exhibitionist whose antisocial behaviour has caused him loneliness, dispite being very supportive at times. We have seen get blackout drunk when centre of attention and spew. Still, all these years later, we have no hindsight but Blitzø knows Mammon is a phoney who he saw through, but what does he base this on? 'Extortion', the slip Blitzø didn't react to?

Up until this episode Fizz was doing very well for himself, he was famous as he had wanted to be, he lived a happy life of riches, fun job and pushing lust with his sugar daddy lover, who is royalty, who he wakes up to each morning, who manufactures his dolls?

Fizz had only been the reigning pageant champion for 10 years, wasn't the accident and his fall out with Blitzø prior to this? Until we follow Fizz, who is very irritated at Blitzø's presence, there's no proof of Mammon being a bad boss. Fizz was insecure about his appearance, from a recent injury and the accident all those years ago which we were reminded of throughout the episode, in addition the pageant was a major source of stress as he had to do well, he had been holding the title of champion for a decade, who wouldn't be stressed?

Let's not forget that he also doubted Ozzie's love for him believing it to be down to his popularity.

Let's not forget his stalker who has been obsessed with him since he was still at home.

But we are used to seeing fun.

Ozzie, Bee and Mammon all hosted a big bash when we met them, they were all working, their guests made a choice to be there and their events were the place to be, only this time we got the employees perspective, think for those who work at restaurants, bars and nightclubs where the patrons enjoy themselves, it's not so fun on the other side and it's often the nepo folks who include lovers that have an easier time.

Work ain't fun most of the time.

Lastly.

Why was Mammon not allowed to be mad after allowing himself to be publicly roasted to a large crowd on his stage before having his greedy supply cut off, why would it be of any surprise that he would react? Bee and Ozzie were had no issues intimidating Loona, Mille and Moxxie for disrespecting them on their turf.

When is it OK to proudly display and endorse control and bullying? When you're loved or lovable?

We have enjoyed a dark comedy built on power play and sarcasm, so what does it take to make these serious problems in the real world problematic? Someone who isn't there to be liked?

This is good writing.

There are too many writers involved to not know what they're doing. They are active online and the fanbase is rampant with their blind loyalty to the show and the character invested in by giving them simple brownie points. Too many wouldn't believe that I enjoy this series and like all the characters mentioned.

Mammon was created to out and troll the the fanbase.

[girlstalkmichael]

Some green flag characters in tv shows/movies in no particular order

Part 1

Stiles Stilinski (Teen Wolf)

Loyal till the very end

Funny

Carries the whole show on his back

His bromance with Scott is ICONIC (literally the no. 1 bromance in teen dramas)

Do I need to say more

Jake Peralta (Brooklyn Nine Nine)

Husband material right there like his love for Amy is the healthiest out of this world love

Immaculate sense of humor

Amazing in his job

Peeta Mellark (The Hunger Games)

A literal cinnamon roll

Took a beating from his mum to give Katniss a loaf of bread so she won't die of starvation. Selfless king

Michael Cordero Jr (Jane The Virgin)

Husband material alongside my man Jake Peralta

Supportive af

Loves Matteo like he is his own kid

Literally besties with his wife's dad (aka drama king Rogelio De La Vega)

Loyal and as you know loyalty is super sexy

Manuel Gutiérrez (Bia)

His romance with Bia is the healthiest non toxic romance in DCLA main ships

Supportive

Nice & kind

So sweet

He can sing and play piano (his voice is sooo good)

Símon Álvarez (Soy Luna)

Sees the best in others (aka his whole relationship with Ambar)

Will do anything for his friends (literally traveled from Mexico to Argentina on his own to be with Luna)

Can sing and play guitar AND roller skate (like what can't he do)

Wrote bops like Eres & Valiente

Gaston Perida (Soy Luna)

He's a super nice jock

Always tries to knock some sense into Matteo (just really his bromance with Matteo)

Super supportive of Nina/Felicity and her boundaries (like when she asked him to dance with her blindfolded as she was not ready to reveal herself to him yet and he accepted)

Federico Paccini (Violetta)

Always there for Ludmila and helped her through all her mother's abuse

Really nice and cute

Has the voice of an angel

Sarcastic and funny

My first childhood crush (and better believe I'm not over him yet)

Dustin Henderson (Stranger Things)

The cutest human being to ever exist

The smartest person in the whole of Hawkins

Super funny

His bromance with Steve & Eddie is brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, complety never been done before

Has the cutest laugh ever

[halfetirosie]

🐾 ☀︎ Babes and Babies! (I'm having a great time already!!!) ☀︎ 🐾

(Exercise 01 - 03 React-os!)

1) Yup, of course my workaholic wife here would be a fan of the fitness craze 😂😂😂

Edmond will 100% be taking this opportunity to introduce his HELLISH TRAINING ROUTINE to the public... Tell you what, doing that would make the exercise trend die down in a hurry! 😂😂😂

2) Not 2 seconds later and he's already at it!

I read a fanfic about this a while ago, actually--where Yaku is going through some self-esteem struggles and also trying to bond with Edmond, and they end up training together... I don't have the time to search for it right now, though. Just trust me, it exists!

3) FUCK, talk about a reminder of Quincy's insane strength!!! (⊙ ⌓ ⊙)

Kinda funny that of all things to compete in, he's doing an arm-wrestling contest---which the devs said he wouldn't take seriously if he were up against Olivine, because he wouldn't take it seriously.

I know this situation is different, since he's competing for the prize, but still... It makes me wonder; if Olivine was competing against him in this contest (and not just arm-wrestling casually for fun), would he take it seriously THEN??

Damn, I would love to see that!

4) !!!!!

SOOLEYYYY!!!!!!! OUR BOYYYY!!!!!!

FUCKING FINALLY, an event that includes him!!!!! I missed him!!!! (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

5) Gahhhh!!!

CUUUTTTEEEE!!!!!!

The heroic return of 🐾 Cat Dad Dante 🐾 !!! ♡♡♡

Omg this is such a typical Pet Owner thing to say---"It's not Fluffy's fault he tried to attack you! Fluffy is a perfect angel! You're the problem!" 😂

6) These absolute ICONS---

I love it when we get to see Dante's competitive side--it is soooo fuckin CUTE!!!! Add in Karu--- DOUBLE CUTE!!!!!---Add Casual Quincy---TRIPLE CUTE!!!!!!!!

(I feel like I'm the only one that ever calls Quincy "cute." Like, Everyone calls him hot and sexy and all that jazz, but why not cute?? This friendly sleepy giant is CUTE!!!)

I also love how Eiden is subtly gushing over these three's athleticism. We see him fawning over their sexiness like all the time, but here he's focusing on their achievements. ✨

(Not that he never does that. It's just nice to see!)

7) Oh???? It's not a part-time job mentioned this time, but a college Phase???

I honestly cannot picture Eiden ever being a gym rat.

(I suspect a large motivation of his gym attendance was checking out the hot guys---which is certainly in-character---but other than that? Very unexpected! I guess I'm too used to the Out-Of-Shape-Corporate-Slave Eiden to see him at the gym regularly. 😅)

8) PFFFFT!!!!! 😂😂😂

It's so in-character for Kuya to 1) suddenly pop up out of nowhere, and 2) show such intense interest in Eiden explaining Normal Earth Things™.

It's so damn endearing, it almost makes me forget how pissed I got at his foxy-bitchness last event!

Almost. (⊙ - ⊙)

9) Morvay Sweetie, I love you so much! 🤣

I mean, the joke was right there (and TWICE, at that)!

♡ He's so stupid and I love him! ♡

10) SOMEONE NEEDS TO STOP EIDEN FROM NAMING ANYTHING, EVER!!!!!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Poor Topper---he has to deal with so much nonsense because he can't speak human language. ♡

11) HIS INTROVERT LEVEL IS OVER NINE THOUSANDDDDD!!!!

Quincy, babes, you should know better than to resist their antics. You'll get pulled into it eventually!

:D

12) YOUR SILENCE SPEAKS LOUDER THAN YOUR WORDS

😈 ♥︎ 😈 ♥︎ 😈 ♥︎ 😈 ♥︎ 😈 ♥︎ 😈 ♥︎ 😈 ♥︎ 😈 ♥︎ 😈

You know, it's honestly impressive how the characters are so well-written that their silence is sometimes more powerful than their actual dialogue.

Less seriously---Aster is SO REAL FOR THIS.

He knows exactly how to bait people (or guess, Dante in particular) to do his bidding!

Eiden is the best motivation!!! 😈😈😈

13) (⸝⸝ o̴̶̷ ◡ o̴̶̷ ⸝⸝)

♡♡♡ Baby ♡♡♡

🐾 End of report! 🐾

[shae-mermaid]

You Are A Queen, Part 4

Part 1! | Part 2!! | Part 3!!! | Part 5!!!!! | Part 6 (FINALE)!!!!!!

A/N: This one is an EXTRA long one, at least for me. ^_^' Also, this is where the REALLY dark stuff (dealing with bullying, s*****e and accompanying mental health issues) comes in, so please, DO NOT INTERACT IF YOU'RE NOT IN THE RIGHT HEADSPACE!!! You can skip this if you need to. No pressure. I'll add this both here and in the ending note, just in case you need it <3(Remember, you are enough. You are beautiful. I, and I'm sure MANY others, are happy that you exist, and continue to. You are loved.)

PART 4:

The day had come. Lucifer has been hard at work all morning and afternoon, conjuring up all the components for this evening’s little pool grand opening he was helping his daughter with. It was Charlie’s idea, and Lucifer had to admit, he was looking forward to this as well. It had been a while since he’d mingled with people outside of his fellow sins, or Charlie and her friends. Just as he did with the newly renovated hotel, he wanted to make this special. For her. There’s so much he hadn’t been able to do for his daughter. Well, he’s bound and determined to make up for that lost time. Somehow. 

You had reminded him to keep doing so. 

Angel, Husk, and Alastor, were all out in the city, touching base with old friends, and inviting them to the party. You, Charlie, and Vaggie, were out shopping for your room. You had insisted that Charlie didn’t have to do that, but Charlie, aggressively-kindly, pushed back, saying she wanted to. She was just so happy to have a new face in the hotel! And, she already considered you a good friend. Lucifer had overheard that whole conversation as you all were heading out the door. His daughter was always so generous. One of the many many things he loved about her. 

A few more hours went by, and all the preparations were finished. Alastor and Husk were helping put up some lights, since this was an evening pool party. Lucifer gave Husk a quick wave and a thank you (completely ignoring the radio demon), and let himself fall back on one of the lounging chairs he had made beside the pool. The average sinner wouldn’t think so, but doing all of that conjuring can have a physical effect, even for arch angels. So he decided to kick back and relax, until the party began. 

At some point or another, he had fallen asleep. He had the most vivid dream he thought he had ever had. 

It was soothing and simple. He was back on Earth, laying at the base of a willow tree that overhung a river just a few feet down from where he sat. He had his violin with him. 

And, he wasn’t alone.

He was with you. Laughing together, playing a tune on his violin, with you singing along. He had never heard you sing, but he had a decent-enough imagination. He dreamt you had an innocent, sweet little voice. 

And he felt happier than he had in a long, long time. You looked into each other’s eyes, after finishing the song. Without even thinking, you both very slowly lean in…

Suddenly, Lucifer wakes up to Charlie’s hand on his shoulder, nudging him until he opens his eyes “Hey Dad…” Charlie said, in a hushed tone so as not to jump-scare him out of his sleep. “The party’s about to start. Everything looks amazing, by the way. This’ll help us out so much, I can’t thank you enough,” she adds, taking hold of his hand to help him up.

“S’no problem, Honeycrisp,” Lucifer replied, slurring his words a bit while trying to get out of sleep-mode. “I finished early, so I just thought I could get some shut-eye,” he says, stretching his arms up in the air to help wake himself up.

He looks around the space, happy to see just how many sinners showed up. He should’ve known Angel would make good on his promise to ‘make this party the BEST party you’ll ever have, toots!’. He always comes through for the king’s daughter.

“Where’s Angel and Y/n?” he ends up asking Charlie after a moment.

“They’re getting ready together. They should be down soon. But Angel always takes forever,” Charlie says, rolling her eyes slightly, but with an accepting smile. “They’ll be down soon enough. Why?”

Lucifer blushes a bit, looking away before Charlie sees. “Um, just curious is all. I’d like to see why Y/n so desperately wanted to borrow my paints!” He says, just being his usual, dramatic self. k

Charlie giggled, having an idea of what might be going on inside her father’s mind. She surprisingly didn’t mind at all. She thought that her father should’ve moved on a while ago, even. But, she didn’t want to push him too much. “Don’t worry so much, dad! Just relax and enjoy the fruits of your labor! You absolutely earned it,” and with that, pulled her father in for a hug.

Lucifer gave a soft, reflective smile, reciprocating the hug. “Thanks, sweetie. I will.” He said quietly.

Charlie lets go, and heads up to the microphone and sound system Alastor had set up for her, greeting all of the new faces Angel, Husk, and Alastor had brought in. She thanked everyone for showing up, and ended it with a short “I’ll cut to the chase, already. Have fun, everyone! Let’s get this party started!!!” And with that, a group in the crowd cheered, while they jumped straight into the pool, causing the place to roar with laughter, as the club-style music started playing.

Lucifer ended up taking a seat over at the bar, pouring himself a shot of whiskey, to give poor Husk a bit of a break. He downs it in one go, hoping it would help him not be so tense while he’s trying to be friendly. Despite how he may appear to outsiders, he never really liked parties all that much. He would go to the ones Lillith had set up, just for her sake, but he rarely socialized himself, without his ex-wife, anyway.

While zoning out, he heard the crowd start whooping loudly at something. He looked in the direction they were all looking at, seeing Angel greeting everyone with his topmost arms stretched out. But there was someone behind him. Suddenly, Angel reaches behind him with his lower arms, and guides you to his side, hands on your shoulder.

 “Hey everyone! Meet my friend, Y/n! She’s new here to Hell, so help her make some more friends!” 

As you gave the world’s shyest smile and wave to everyone yelling out “Hi!” to you, Lucifer was surprised to realize that he couldn’t move, nor look away. 

You looked amazing.

You had turned Charlie’s old goth-phase dress into a stunning, form-hugging, off-the-shoulder dress with a flair out at the bottom, with corset-style lacings on the sides. He sees that you clearly used his paints well, noticing that you had painted an impressionist-styled pond scene coming up from the bottom hem, and as he looked closer, saw little ducks swimming inside the imaginary pond.

Oh, she must’ve seen all the piles of ducks when Lucifer had gone to search for his paints. He blushes to himself, slightly embarrassed, but mostly…just stunned. 

Too stunned, it seemed, because he was effectively frozen in his seat still. Husk had to nudge him out of it by tapping his shoulder and saying “Your highness?” sounding a bit concerned.

“H-huh?” asked Lucifer. “Oh, uh, sorry. I was just…zoned out for a bit there,” he stumbled out his words, trying to think of an acceptable excuse.

Husk silently rolled his eyes, looking his normal, slightly annoyed self. He decided to butt out though, turning to polish another glass, mumbling something along the lines of “so obvious…”

After you had greeted everyone, you tugged a little on Angel’s arm, trying to slyly get his attention. While wearing an obviously strained smile, you whisper to Angel “You really didn’t have to do that…”

Angel playfully flicked his wrist at you and went “Psh, yeah I did. Otherwise you woulda been clinging to the wall the whole evenin’, Gorgeous! Now, relax, and go show off my hard work!”, giving you a gentle push forward. Angel took pride in his makeup skills. He should’ve done that professionally, you think to yourself. Cause, you had to admit, he made your face look so good. He practically made you look like a pinup model, which you never felt could be achieved on a face like yours. But, somehow, Angel made miracles happen with his makeup brushes. You’ll have to thank him again later.

You never did well when you felt like all eyes were on you, no matter the situation, or how much you liked what makeup or clothes you wore. It brought you back to the blazing heat of a stage spotlight, and the silent pressure that came from a quiet audience, waiting for you to slip up somehow. You never wanted to feel that pressure again.

But still, Angel slaved over your face, so you thought you might as well advertise his work for him. You tried to put on your extrovert act as best you could, while some of Angel’s actress and model friends approached you both. 

Instantly, you felt intimidated. Good looking people always made you feel that way, you couldn’t help it. But you knew you were judging a book by its cover, so you tried to set those feelings aside as well, while Angel introduced you to the group of male and female models around you.

Everyone was generally friendly, but dismissive. Typical, you thought. In your experience, good looking people seemed to either ignore you, or be downright mean to your face. Very rarely would someone break that mold.

You try to be brave, making a joking attempt at posing like a model, when you heard Angel talk about doing your makeup. It made the whole group laugh. 

But one of them laughed a little too much for your comfort.

Someone, who was standing behind a few other models, kept on laughing when the others were dying down, and eventually looked at you and Angel with a judgemental smirk on their face. “Angel, honey, your talents are wasted on the likes o’ this pig,” he says, sneering at you in a way that makes you want to disappear. 

You never should’ve been surprised when someone spoke about you like that, but you couldn’t help it.

Angel gives them a glare. “Back off, fuckface. I don’t know how ya snuck in, since you’re obviously blind and jealous if ya think that.”

You take a few slow steps backwards, trying to make your way around the crowd by walking along the side of the pool. But, to your shock, the sinner grabs you, muttering something only meant for you to hear.

“A pile o’shit with a bow is still a pile o’shit.” And with that blow, they pushed you into the water.

Your world sounded so distant now, with the sound of the water flow overlaying the sound of shouting to either break up or cheer on the fight Angel had started, with Alastor’s shadow-tentacle-thing not far behind. 

You mentally freak out for a millisecond, remembering that you still have the human instinct to hold your breath underwater.

Except, this time you don’t. You seem to be able to breathe normally, just like air, only thicker. You mentally slap your face. Duh, you thought. I’m a fucking fish now!.. Yesss!!! You’ve always wished you could do this.

 New energy and rage took over you, as you felt the overwhelming need to get back at the bastard who pushed you in, thinking they could hurt you without consequences. Still hearing the bass from the music blaring, you swim as fast as you can to the other side of the pool, brushing up against the feet of whichever sinners were still swimming, to scare them out of the pool. From there, you essentially have a running start, and begin to start launching yourself up above the water, doing frontwards and backward flips while you flip off the idiot who thought they could hurt a fucking fish demon by pushing them into the water. All to the beat of the song. If anything, that moron gave you the advantage. 

With one last jump, flipping the sinner off one more time inches away from their face with an evil grin on yours, you push them towards Alastor’s shadow-tentacle. You could hear them scream, as the tentacle wrapped around their body, and flung them home-run-style to the farthest end of town from here. 

You hear people clap, but honestly, you’re still not all the way present, hearing your heart beat louder than anything. But you suddenly see a hand, above the middle of the pool, offering you to take it.

It was Lucifer, with his gigantic wings helping him hover over you, looking at you worried, and with a portal to your room above him. You take his hand, as he picks you up effortlessly and flies you both through his portal. You can’t help but blush for a second as he holds you. You are not used to someone being able to do that with you.

Once landed, Lucifer hides his wings away, and carries you to your bed, setting you down sitting up on the side. Without a word, he runs to your bathroom and comes back with a towel, which you wrap yourself in.

The adrenaline rush was starting to die down now, but your anxiety depression was washing over you like a tsunami. You look away to the floor, feeling Lucifer’s hand gingerly touch your shoulder. “I’m sorry, Y/n.”

You could feel tears welling up, but you try desperately to keep them in. Still looking away, just in case, you respond “What are you sorry for? It’s not your fault.”

Lucifer sounds angry and annoyed at himself. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you from that…” he couldn’t complete the sentence, he was seething so much. 

You let out a small sniffle, but with a slight crack in your voice, you respond “Well, don’t be. You did protect me, from the aftermath of that fight Angel and Alastor started.” He visibly tensed up at the mention of the radio demon. “...Thank you, for saving me, by the way.”

Lucifer gave your shoulder a gentle squeeze. “I’m just worried about you…Are you okay?”

An agonizingly long few seconds of silence, and you slowly turn your head towards Lucifer, shaking your head no, while tears start streaming down your face. You start to shrink into yourself, hugging your legs and covering your ruined makeup with your knees. Lucifer felt his heart crack just a little at the sight, and immediately pulled you in by the shoulders to give you a tight, comforting hug. It only made you sob even harder, though, shaking as Lucifer slowly rubs your upper arm, shushing you in an attempt to soothe you. 

“It’s okay, let it out…” Lucifer whispered softly to you.

After a few minutes of silence, you let out a strained “...sorry…”

Lucifer shushed you. “Don’t apologize. There’s nothing wrong with crying, if you need to. Besides, sometimes it makes you feel better afterwards. Now, take some deep breaths…”

You follow Lucifer’s example, your breathing in sync with his. You had forgotten, until now, that you had your face buried in his shoulder, being so comfortable there. You blush and quickly move your head away as soon as you come back to your senses.

Lucifer saw, though, and gave you a soft smile. “Feel better?”

You let out another sniffle. “Well, enough to calm down at least…thank you, again…”

It was Lucifer’s turn to blush a little. “Any time. Wanna talk about it?”

There was another painful pause. “...I’m just…so mad at myself for still being surprised that…something like this would…happen to me…,” you start. “This sort of bullshit happened all the time when I was alive.”

“Why??” Lucifer asked, genuinely curious.

You look at Lucifer like he’s being crazy. “Seriously?? Look at me!” you say, basically gesturing to all of you. “What isn’t there to make fun of?? I stuck out like a sore thumb on Earth, and I stick out here too. I thought that was obvious enough…” you slump your shoulders with a resigning sigh. “It never matters what I do, how I act or what I wear, it’s never enough…I’m never enough…” your voice starts to crack again, as you try to swallow down a second wave of emotion.

Lucifer felt it again, the crack in his heart getting deeper. He feels his anger slowly creeping up, his eyes turning that glowing shade of bright red. “Well, those people are probably down here right now, so I could track ‘em down and rip them to shreds if you want,” he says, punching his fist into his other hand, in a futile attempt to lighten the mood. 

“Thanks, but don’t bother. They’re probably not down here yet.”

“Why wouldn’t they be?”

“...Because most of them aren’t old enough yet.”

Lucifer suddenly realized what you might be insinuating. “...Y/n?...You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but…How did you get down here?” he asked, tensing up just in case you get angry.

You breathe another deep breath in and out. “I mean, I don’t really want to, but I suppose if I should tell anyone, you make the most sense,” you say with a shrug.

Lucifer waited as patiently as he could, through the agonizing couple minutes of silence, as you collected your thoughts and memories.

“...I drowned myself.”

And that, made his heart completely snap in two. But he tried to stay quiet, for you.

“Believe it or not, I was married…once,” you start. “But…that didn’t really work out like I had hoped. Just like any previous relationship I’d had,  I thought I could go into that sort of arrangement, thinking ‘I can make them change their mind and start to think I’m worthy of their attention! I just need to change this, and this, and this, about myself for them!’” you use your fingers to mime out counting. “...I ended up practically destroying myself for them, and I was…” your voice starts to crack again. “...still never enough.”

Lucifer was desperately trying, and failing, to hold back his own tears.

 “...So, I went to the one place I always loved to be,” you look down at the webbing between your fingers. “...The water. This may sound dumb, but I used to… have these daydreams about turning into a mermaid, not only as an escape from my boring, disappointing life, but also…to finally know what it’s like…to be wanted. To be desired. To be able to walk into a room full of people, and just know they’re all staring at you because you look good, instead of thinking of you as a disgusting waste of space,” you said through another vocal crack. “...I never got that feeling from anyone, even my own fucking husband.”

More silence, and another deep breath in and out. “I went down to the nearest river, and just…let myself float. Well, I knew eventually that this particular river turned into pretty rough rapids,” you say through more tears flowing. “And from there, the rest is histor-”

Lucifer didn’t mean to cut you off, but he couldn’t help but give you another tight hug, his own tears now flowing out alongside yours. “I’m sorry that you ever had to go through that…I honestly will never understand how some humans can think that way. They must just be projecting their lack of fulfilling lives onto you, and that’s fucked up,” he says, as his grip on you grows steadily stronger. “Just to let you know…You are more than enough. Just as you are. Absolutely no need to change a single goddamn thing. And, to be completely honest…,” Lucifer blushes and looks away. “...You look, and are, amazing, to me.”

It’s a good thing that Lucifer wasn’t looking (and that your mascara was running),  cause it’s covering up your completely tomato-red face right now. You can’t even squeak out a “thank you.” You settle for finally reciprocating the hug, with a strong grip on his coat.

You both want to savor the moment, but Lucifer resists the urge and lets go. “Let’s get you cleaned up,” he says, while snapping a mirror and a pack of makeup wipes beside you. “...I’ll leave you alone, if you want.”

“N-no,” you’re finally able to speak. “You can stay, if you want…wanna watch something? Charlie gave me an old phone of hers. I don’t know what demons watch down here, exactly, so…Could you recommend something?”

Lucifer gave her a soft smile. “I would like nothing else.”

And so, the night (at least, from then on) went off without a hitch. Charlie eventually knocked on your door to see if you were okay, and Lucifer answered for you, figuring you might want to limit your social interactions for the rest of the night. She looked over to you, and you gave her a smile and a short nod, confirming. And with that, you were left to bond a little more with Lucifer.

Practically the whole time, you two were smiling and laughing, telling each other funny stories, basically not paying attention to the movie Lucifer picked at all, but that was okay with you. You had a more…entertaining option for your attention, sitting right beside you.

Finally, you see Lucifer give out a yawn and a flex of his arm muscles. You feel the tingle and warmth of a blush form on your cheeks once again. Honestly, you thought, will this man EVER give my nerves a break??

Lucifer responded, “Well, I think it’s time we both got some sleep.”

“Yeah, it’s been a rollercoaster of a day,” you reply. 

You both stand up, and give each other one last hug. “Just in case I haven’t thanked you enough already…thank you. Again. I hope this wasn’t too much of a bother for you…”

Lucifer takes your hands. “No! Not at all! This was…actually, something I kind of needed, too. So, um…,” he suddenly flashes you a princely, devilishly charming smile, and leans down and gives you a soft kiss on your knuckles, with a portal to his suite appearing behind him. “Good night, fair Siren,” he says with a lower, smooth tone to his voice, as he practically twirls around and walks through his portal.

You can barely let out a “Good night…” before he quickly closes the portal. After he does, you add what you dare not say, at least just yet. “...My King.”

There was no sleeping tonight.

A/N: First and foremost, just in case you need it <3 Second of all, this is the song I was picturing Lucifer playing with you in his dream (only with his violin). WOO, that was a doozy to write. @_@ But YAY, FREE THERAPY FOR ME!! Anyway, I hope you all have been enjoying my maladaptive daydreams so far! It's been SO nice to write all of this, knowing that this is pretty personal to me, and seeing some people enjoy it with me. I can't thank you enough for continuing to read my ramblings, and I'll be posting a Part 5 as soon as I can.

~Shae <3

[chloeangelic]

Pls write SUBJECT and description only sentences for a group orgy. You, me, & @toxicanonymity with my mm!joel.

Nice big group fuck. I feel like he needs this to boost his self esteem. And so help me god if you don’t fully direct every single thing that’s happening… 🫵🏼=👊🏼

I love you so fucking much

Hi Gracie, I hope this is sufficient.

Cheers, Chloe

Maintenance man!Joel group bang with special guests 

Pairing: @gracieispunk x @toxicanonymity x Chloe Angelic x maintenance man!Joel x Father Joel x Lincoln!Joel x f!reader 

Warnings: This is garbage just don't read it if you don’t wanna see a shitty blasphemous 6some, idk what to tell you anymore. I promise this is my second to last satire fic until I hit 2k.

Word count: 1k 18+ 

You’re hanging out with three of your friends; Toxic, Gracie, and Chloe. They are all giving you ideas for your fics. They all think you should write infidelity, you were thinking something more along the lines of fluffy flirting with your dad’s best friend. They think it might be a bit tame. Chloe thinks you should make him cry at some point in the fic, she's clearly in a bit of an angst phase. You think Toxic and Gracie are more fun.

Gracie downs the last of her wine and says “We’re all horny sluts and I have an idea”.  She goes over to her kitchen sink and yanks on it until it breaks. She picks up her phone and calls the maintenance man. That’s Joel Miller. She says “Joel, I know it’s ten PM but my sink broke because I am a little slut and I need you to come over and fix it or else I will report you to the building manager as being not very helpful to me, a damsel in distress”. She hangs up. 

Joel shows up wearing a tool belt and he is fully dressed in a flannel shirt, jeans and a wedding ring because he’s married. “Well, well, well” Gracie says and takes him by the hand to leads him into the living room where there is a massive California king bed. There’s also a stripper pole in the middle of the room, and now Chloe’s self indulgent fics about pole dancing make sense to you. 

Unfortunately, Gracie’s sink is indeed broken now so you all have to sit in silence and watch as maintenance man Joel huffs and puffs and fixes the sink. “I’m was planning on leavin' after this,” he says, “But now you’re all naked and annoying and my cock is hard again so I have no choice but to fuck all of you little sluts”. Everyone cheers and claps. You can’t believe it, you thought he only existed in Gracie’s fics and now you get to fuck him IRL. 

A shadow appears in the hallway. Toxic shouts, “Hey, get back to the brothel! You don’t belong in this crossover!”. The shadow is gone. You don’t know who it was, although Chloe says she hopes it was Lincoln Joel because he looks hot and she’s had a bit of a weird crush on him ever since she saw a fanart of him with slicked back hair and a white t-shirt, but he is ultimately very creepy so she doesn’t think that would be a great idea. However, maybe fucking him with supervision would be okay. You both mentally move on. 

Maintenance man Joel takes off his pants and his above average sized cock is on full display. All four of you take turns sucking and fucking him and the whole ordeal is pretty gross when you think about it since there is spit and cum everywhere. 

Maintenance man Joel is overwhelmed to say the least. He is watching Chloe stripping while fucking Gracie who is going down on Toxic while you ride her face. You didn’t think the logistics of this would work but here you are. 

There’s a knock on the door and a man comes in, announcing his presence. 

Oh no, it’s Father Joel. Chloe forgot she invited him over. 

“Damn it, Father Joel,” she says, “I forgot I invited you over and now we’re having a group fuck and we need an extra dick so maybe it’s convenient that you showed up cause you’re a corrupt freak with a massive cock”. 

Father Joel stands in the middle of the living room while Chloe takes a break to drink some water and he takes off his pants to reveal his absolutely enormous cock. Maintenance man Joel rolls his eyes; Toxic and Gracie are all very interested in Father Joel all of a sudden. Chloe thinks that this is her chance to finally eat her leftover gluten free lasagna and says “I hate Father Joel anyways so please take him” and he loves the attention. 

Gracie gets on her knees in front of Father Joel and says “Please, Father, give me that dick”. Then he slaps her on the face with his cock and gives her a communion cracker. It doesn’t taste like much. Then she sucks his dick. 

You get on maintenance man Joel’s lap and start bouncing on his cock and asking how to stop your closet doors from jumping out of their tracks. He starts explaining and it’s incredibly boring but useful information.

Chloe and Toxic are looking at each other like “What the fuck” and Toxic says “You know what? Fuck it, let’s get the party started” and takes her phone out of her pants on the floor and calls someone to come over. 

The door opens again. It’s Lincoln Joel. He’s wearing the white t-shirt. Chloe is nervous but horny. 

Toxic says “You’re welcome, he’s fucking creepy as hell and I wouldn’t touch him with a ten foot pole but I understand that’s how you feel about Father Joel, it is what it is” then goes over to Gracie, who is now riding Father Joel’s face, and gets on his dick so that they are now having a threesome. Everyone is sucking and riding and moaning and sweating and they are definitely going to get a noise complaint. Maintenance man Joel says “What the hell have I gotten myself into here, I thought I was just messing around with one annoying tenant who keeps calling me and now I am watching a threesome with an ordained priest”. 

Chloe isn’t sure what to do, this doesn’t seem like Lincoln Joel’s scene. He says, “Chloe, there’s a priest here, I think it’s best if we get married before we do anything”. Chloe says ok. Father Joel recites the entire marriage speech that priests give and he says “You may now kiss the bride”. Lincoln kisses Chloe and they go to the bedroom. Then they fuck as well and she’s enjoying the thrill but is also a little bit concerned that she is now legally Catholically married to this old man. Whatever.

Maintenance man Joel blows his load inside you and says he has to go home. You both leave and listen to the wet slapping sounds of the Joels and writers who are still fucking and sucking and riding. He drives you home in his truck and says you never saw him in that sin filled establishment, do you understand?

[jinxed-sinner]

Talking about the potential in Lucifer and Alastor dynamic, but it would be interesting if their relationship ended up being the opposite of the relationship Alastor and Vox have going. We know Vox and Alastor used to be good friends but are now enemies, Alastor and Lucifer could go from enemies to good friends (in general I wanna see Alastor have more interactions with male characters, ex: Angel Dust, to see how the show is gonna handle his distrust of men and if he is ever gonna get over it at some point in the show).

Honestly this is one of the reasons I'm so excited to see their dynamic develop. I think I've said it before but Alastor very clearly doesn't trust men (with the exception of Husk; if he didn’t at least trust Husk’s judgement he wouldn’t have told Mimzy to leave I think), and if Lucifer could gain his trust and show Alastor that not everyone is going to hurt him? 10/10, Vivziepop PLEASE

I think it'd be good for Lucifer too. Lucifer views Alastor (and almost every other sinner) as a "violent psychopath hellbent on causing as much pain and destruction" as possible. Lucifer is basically in the same position as every single fan who sees Alastor's morality as black and white and says Alastor's evil. Lucifer doesn't know there's a pattern to Alastor's attacks (that being, he only attacks when provoked and he doesn't attack innocent people). Lucifer doesn't know Alastor's past. All Lucifer knows about Alastor is what he saw in Dad Beat Dad, which was:

Alastor getting under his skin for not actively being Charlie's dad, and I think Lucifer knew Alastor's goal was basically "purposely get under his skin for the lolz" (this would additionally probably clue Lucifer into the fact that Alastor is manipulating Charlie)

Alastor being a cannibal, which he would've easily been able to surmise from Alastor not just attacking the loan sharks, but also eating them

Alastor just overall being a fucking jackass

Lucifer doesn't know why Alastor is the way he is (and we don't either, although I find speculating on it fun). We don't know if Lucifer knew Alastor fought Adam (although there's a non-zero chance he would've heard about it from someone). Lucifer only knows Alastor at a surface level, which is the case with every other sinner that exists.

Even if Alastor and Lucifer don't become best friends, if they become friends in any capacity, it'd be good for both of them. Alastor would realize not everyone's going to hurt him, and Lucifer would realize that each sinner has their own story, whether he thinks it justifies how they act in Hell or not. Hell, if Alastor was canonically abused by his dad and that did contribute to him being a serial killer, I can honestly see Lucifer feeling bad for his first impression of Alastor being "bloodthirsty psychopath" because he's like that for a reason.

If Lucifer can learn that even the worst of the worst might not be as shitty as he thinks, I think it'll help him a lot. If Alastor can realize that not everyone wants to hurt him, that'll help Alastor a lot.

Honestly considering how their first meeting went and the fact that Lucifer still seems to hate Alastor as of the end of The Show Must Go On, I'd be surprised if Lucifer and Alastor aren't instrumental to each other's development. Obviously, Lucifer being at the hotel in general is going to be crucial to his development as a character, but I genuinely think Alastor and Lucifer are going to be incredibly crucial to each other's development. Lucifer met Pentious and Angel when they'd already gone through some level of character development, Lucifer is going to actually be there for whatever character development Alastor goes through, and I think Lucifer being there to witness someone like Alastor improve to any extent is going to be super important for his development.