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#their romance/friendship/partnership/rivalry is literally life changing
sokayisaidiot · 7 months
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Siblinghood, Platonic Soulmates, or Romance
Analyzing the Relationship Between Ezra Bridger and Sabine Wren
In this post, I will continue from my previous one, having offered a simplified overview but delving into one of the most common criticizing talking points. Please remember that this analysis is from a writing perspective and my own experiences as I am an amateur writer. I welcome comments and reblogs with your thoughts.
For context:
1. Relationships in Star Wars 2. Explanation of These Three Types of Relationships 3. Female Characters in Relationships 4. Ideals and Themes in Star Wars Rebels 5. Ezra and Sabine's Relationship 6. Conclusion
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Relationships in Star Wars
Critics sometimes claim that certain types of relationships are overrepresented in Star Wars, but it's essential to remember that the franchise features a variety of relationship dynamics. Here are some well-known examples:
Siblinghood:
- Luke and Leia (twins) - Ahsoka Tano and Anakin Skywalker (no blood) - Garazeb Orrelios and Ezra Bridger (no blood) - The Son and Daughter (literal Force beings) - Sabine and Tristan Wren (blood relatives) - Maul, Savage Opress, and Feral (same planet)
Platonic Soulmates:
- Han and Chewbacca - R2-D2 and C-3PO - Boba Fett & Fennec Shand - Din Djarin & Bo Katan Kryze - Chirrut Imwe & Baze Malbus
Romantic:
- Han Solo & Princess Leia - Anakin Skywalker & Padme Amidala - Obi-Wan Kenobi & Satine Kryze - Kanan Jarrus & Hera Syndulla - Bail & Breha Organa
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Each relationship explained and how to write it
Siblinghood
Definition A sibling is a term used to describe a brother or sister, which means they share at least one biological or adoptive parent. Siblings are individuals who are part of the same family and are connected through their familial relationships.
Writing points
Individuality: Portray each sibling as a unique individual with distinct traits.
Birth Order: Consider birth order dynamics and how it affects their roles.
Conflict and Love: Explore both rivalry and support in their relationship.
Shared Memories: Use shared childhood memories to deepen their connection.
Complex Emotions: Show a range of emotions, from love to resentment.
Character Development: Use their relationship to drive character growth.
Realistic Dialogue: Make their interactions and dialogues authentic.
Backstory: Develop a backstory with shared and separate experiences.
Conflict Resolution: Show how they handle conflicts within the relationship.
Evolution: Depict how their relationship changes over time.
External Influences: Consider how outside factors impact their dynamic.
Platonic Soulmates
Definition The term "Platonic soulmates" combines two concepts: "Platonic" and "soulmates."
Platonic: In the context of relationships, "Platonic" refers to a non-romantic or non-sexual connection.
Soulmates: It's a belief that there is a special, deep, and sometimes predestined connection between two people that goes beyond ordinary friendship or partnership.
When you combine these concepts, "Platonic soulmates" refers to two individuals who share an exceptionally close, deep, and meaningful non-romantic or non-sexual bond. They may have a connection that feels almost destined, as if their souls are deeply intertwined, but it doesn't involve romantic or sexual attraction.
Writing points
Unique Bond: Highlight the exceptional and non-romantic connection they share.
Common Values: Emphasize shared values, interests, and life goals that deepen their bond.
Unconditional Support: Show their unwavering support, trust, and emotional safety.
Enduring Relationship: Illustrate how their bond withstands time and challenges.
Conflict Resolution: Explore how they handle disagreements with maturity and empathy.
Growth Inspiration: Demonstrate how they inspire personal growth in each other.
Non-Romantic Nature: Clarify that their connection is platonic, not romantic.
Emotional Depth: Dive into their deep emotional connection and comfort.
Shared Moments: Highlight significant life experiences they've shared.
Respectful Boundaries: Show how they respect each other's boundaries.
External Influences: Consider how external factors affect their connection.
Remember that platonic soulmate relationships are diverse and can manifest in various ways. They provide an opportunity to explore deep emotional connections and the profound impact such connections can have on individuals' lives.
Romantic
Definition In everyday conversation, "romantic" is often used to describe anything related to love, affection, or relationships. It can refer to someone who is inclined towards love and affection or to something that evokes feelings of love and beauty. The exact meaning of "romantic" can vary depending on the context in which it is used.
Romantic Love: Deep emotional affection, attraction, and passion between two individuals, forming the basis for relationships like dating, courtship, and marriage.
Romantic Relationship: A partnership based on romantic love, including dating, committed relationships, or marriage, characterized by emotional closeness and physical affection.
Romantic Gestures: Actions expressing love, affection, and admiration in romantic contexts, such as giving flowers, writing love letters, or planning surprise dates.
Romanticism: A cultural movement originating in the late 18th century, emphasizing emotions, individualism, and the sublime in literature, art, and philosophy, often celebrating nature, imagination, and powerful emotions.
Writing points
Chemistry and Attraction: Establish a strong attraction between the partners.
Character Development: Use the relationship to develop and evolve the characters.
Conflict and Tension: Introduce challenges to make the relationship engaging.
Communication: Show effective communication and miscommunication between partners.
Shared Moments: Highlight meaningful experiences they share.
Individual Lives: Balance their personal lives with the relationship.
Trust and Vulnerability: Explore trust and emotional openness.
Intimacy: Address physical and emotional intimacy.
External Influences: Include the impact of outside factors.
Conflict Resolution: Demonstrate how they handle conflicts.
Long-Term Compatibility: Consider their compatibility for the future.
Realistic Challenges: Create believable obstacles.
Romantic Gestures: Showcase meaningful acts of love.
Character Flaws: Develop imperfections in the characters.
Resolution: Provide a satisfying conclusion to their relationship arc.
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Girls in Relationships:
This section explores how certain female characters in Star Wars maintain their own identities while being involved in romantic relationships.
Padmé Amidala
Character: It might be considered a bold choice, but as Dave Filoni is known as the TCW and SWR guru, I genuinely appreciate Padmé's character. She embodies the spirit of self-reliance, often adopting the motto, "I'll handle it myself," when she witnesses suffering. As a compassionate and principled member of the Senate, she values diplomacy over violence, serving as a commendable role model by prioritizing dialogue and care for others. Her character shines brightest in episodes where she grapples with political conflicts.
Romance: Transitioning to the subject of her romantic involvement, Padmé and Anakin's relationship has sparked numerous discussions. Despite the uncertainty and occasional turbulence, there is genuine love between them. She envisions a future with him, refusing to give up on him even in the face of his inner struggles. Padmé recognizes Anakin's mental anguish and does her utmost to support him, though the complexities of their circumstances often double their challenges.
Ahsoka Tano
Character: Ahsoka stands as one of the most well-crafted female characters in Star Wars lore, undergoing significant growth and development throughout The Clone Wars (TCW). She evolves from an overconfident and naive child into a mature, thoughtful, and highly respected adult. Her journey is marked by substantial mistakes and profound realizations.
Romance: While Ahsoka experiences various connections throughout TCW, the most notable is with Lux. However, this romance primarily serves as a vehicle for her character development. Lux provides her with insights into the Separatists' perspective on the war and later the Death Watch. While Ahsoka does express interest in him, it's not in a deeply romantic sense. Instead, she's appreciative of the knowledge and experiences gained from their interactions.
Leia Organa
Character: Leia, our first main character introduction, immediately captivates with her compelling beginning. She's taken captive but never succumbs to fear, displaying strength and resolve. Her resilience shines through as she becomes one of the Rebellion's leaders, commanding respect from all quarters. She remains unyielding in her role, displaying a fiery temperament and quick wit reminiscent of her father, while proving to be even more resolute than her brother, a Jedi.
Romance: The iconic romance between Leia and Han Solo portrays the smuggler and the princess in a refreshing light. Instead of conforming to outdated stereotypes, Leia wears the metaphorical pants in their relationship, with Han providing unwavering support. He respects her position and authority, saving personal matters for their private moments. The dynamic is built on trust and mutual respect, avoiding the cliché of a one-sided romance. Notably, this is evident in Return of the Jedi (ROTJ), where Leia gets shot, and Han's caring demeanor is juxtaposed with his trademark smirk as she reveals her weapon. He's the one to express his love, illustrating the mutual affection and growth of both characters.
Hera
Character: Hera serves as the capable captain of the Ghost and its crew, supported by her right-hand man, Kanan, and the astromech droid, Chopper. Despite being a mother, she remains a crucial figure in the New Republic, leading missions and flight teams. Hera defies convention by maintaining her position of power while nurturing a romantic relationship with Kanan.
Romance: In contrast to traditional depictions where women are often portrayed as pining and emotional while men are serious, Hera and Kanan's dynamic reverses these roles. Kanan actively pursues the relationship, while Hera takes on a more serious and authoritative role. This unconventional approach adds depth to their relationship and challenges traditional gender norms.
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The Ideals of Rebels' Story and Its Setup Points:
Both the Star Wars Prequels and the Original Trilogy are anchored in the theme of battling oppressive regimes striving for absolute control. The Prequels delve into how this oppression came to be, forming a pivotal narrative standpoint. In contrast, The Clone Wars (TCW) primarily focuses on world-building, offering in-depth explorations of various factions and societies within the galaxy. While TCW provides a comprehensive view of the galaxy during a civil war, it doesn't follow a single large crew's story.
On the other hand, Star Wars Rebels (SWR) places a character-driven focus at its core. Unlike some other Star Wars media, such as movies, series, or shorts, SWR doesn't extensively explore different locations or delve into background storytelling. Instead, it prioritizes character development and episodic narratives.
To clarify my previous statement, SWR serves as a bridge between Episode 3 and Episode 4 of the Star Wars saga. It fills in the gaps, revealing the journey and sacrifices necessary to achieve freedom. The series commences with Ezra, a newly-minted Jedi Padawan, in a galaxy where Jedi are hunted down. He joins the nascent rebellion, which is just beginning to take shape. Ezra represents a glimmer of hope in a desolate world, even as forces of darkness attempt to extinguish that light.
This underscores the significance of SWR. Episode 4 depicted the Rebellion in its full-fledged form, with a substantial crew and support from multiple fronts. However, SWR sheds light on the challenges and sacrifices that made such achievements possible. It demonstrates that what was accomplished required immense personal sacrifice.
The Jedi aspect is exemplified through Kanan, who embodies the essence of a true Jedi. Ezra, too, matures into this role over time. Kanan's journey is unique; he was in the midst of his Padawan training when Order 66 unfolded. He never completed his training in the traditional sense and couldn't fully embrace the Jedi rules and traditions, which often felt restrictive and suffocating. Unbeknownst to him, his love for, attachment to, and bond with his lover, Padawan, and the rest of the crew went against traditional Jedi norms. However, this deviation allowed him to learn things the Jedi should have known centuries ago. Kanan eventually felt the full embrace of the Force, despite his past mistakes and moments of foolishness. He ultimately met his end as a true Jedi Knight.
As for Sabine, her character's growth and journey revolve around taking responsibility for her past mistakes and evolving into a stronger individual. Her journey includes abandoning the Imperial Academy, which produced weapons harmful to her people. This decision placed her family in jeopardy, with the majority of Mandalorians harboring animosity towards her. Despite these challenges, she emerged stronger with the support of those around her and a willingness to confront her past without forgetting or ignoring it.
The relationship between Ezra and Sabine in SWR was intentionally left ambiguous, making it challenging to definitively categorize. While the series provides hints through Ezra's statements, it remains open to interpretation. The internet, as expected, has embraced the ambiguity and given rise to various interpretations, showcasing the power of fan engagement and ship culture.
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Ezra and Sabine, Examined from Every Angle:
This section breaks down how each of these interpretations aligns with the characteristics of these relationship types.
Siblinghood
Individuality: With Siblings, there come different personalities. One can be chaotic and the other calm. That’s what we see in that case what can be considered normal in a family. You have the artistic child with her younger brother being more traditional and following his father.
Birth Order: This being one of the strongest arguments with this relationship. It’s for many great to see nonblood people considering each other as found family, where in situation where one lost their family or their family was not good, there are still others that are as close as those you share blood with.
Conflict and Love: This is more of a thing that can be seen with the training of the dark saber, in which the one sibling, who is good at something, that they consider their specialty, having to have share it with the other, as they see it being taken away or provoking the other as they think they are better at something.
Shared Memories: Both have abandonment issues over their family, and they share a lot of missions together.
Complex Emotions: Once again going back to the dark saber training, you could interpret that scene where Ezra is saying that Sabine at least still has family, while he has only one family left, that she is not respecting
Character Development: This can be interpretation for the end of rebels
Realistic Dialogue: A lot of people regard them bickering as sibling bickering
Backstory: In the start, it is implied that with Zeb, she is one that takes him under her wing as a older sister role
Conflict Resolution: They talk to each other
Evolution: It can be them growing older and seeing each other as equals
External Influences: within the ghost crew, they consider each other as family. Hera especially, so its easy to take this as it can be seen that every member implies it for themselves.
Platonic Soulmates
Unique Bond: They are not really romantically nor as siblings introduced in season 3 and 4
Common Values: Both want to free their respective people, destroy the empire and find a place in the galaxy.
Unconditional Support: Within the end, Sabine never states to be romantically involved but she does stay on Lothal, keeps his memorable things in check and waits from him to return.
Enduring Relationship: Both are willing to entrust each other to a lot of things and giving each other the chance to make things happen.
Conflict Resolution: They talk.
Growth Inspiration: Within the season 1 and 2 where Ezra constantly flirts openly to Season 3 and 4 where it is not seen as a romantic way.
Non-Romantic Nature: Barely Romantic gestures of touch in the traditional sense or talking about the feeling to each other, but in a respectable comrade way.
Emotional Depth: Their connection through their past and need to make better of their mistakes while helping each other out of those.
Shared Moments: Their missions
Respectful Boundaries: With Ezra stopping the flirting to concentrate and help Sabine
External Influences: The ghost crew being a close family through common goals and connection gives them a more bigger leeway
Romantic
Chemistry and Attraction: It is clear that Ezra still has an crush on Sabine, with him meeting her for the first time, being enamored with her beauty. Their chemistry is working and expendable. Sabine later is more open for more.
Character Development: From the young kid who has a crush with no real idea to an jedi that keeps it low to fulfill his duty, Ezra evolves within 4 seasons to a more mature way of admiring Sabine while having respect for her. Within the episode where Kanan and Sabine 
Conflict and Tension: From the end of rebels, where Ezra sacrifices himself to keep his loved one self but leaving Sabine alone and confused to Sabine not listening to him when he tells her to or when she does not give him a lot of decision power over her.
Communication: Sabine not being able to trust anyone really to her getting the closest to Ezra for even supporting him on way to dangerous missions and Ezra 
Shared Moments: From the intimate closeness of holding him by his waist to fly to safety, to him keeping her steady on the loath wolves and both refusing to let the other get hurt.
Individual Lives: When it comes to Krownest, Sabine splits up for a little while, when Ezra takes on other missions. They know when they have to do something alone and they have their own bigger problems in the end.
Trust and Vulnerability: Within the later seasons (3 and 4) Sabine opens up to Ezra about her own Demons and gives her full trust to him. Both can depend each other’s live on the other. But when it comes to
Intimacy: Sabine has no problem holding Ezra closer while Ezra still gets flustered a bit(speaking escape Jetpack scene). But other than that they have no problem being closer.
External Influences: Both Chopper and Zeb have been making fun of Ezra and Kanan is aware to some known extend as he has to be the done calming Ezra down, when Sabine is in a Dangerous situation.
Conflict Resolution: On the battlefield its Sabine being the aggressor and Ezra the shield. With other conflicts, it is that Sabine needs time to herself and Ezra worrying but respecting her needs.
Long-Term Compatibility: Sabine cannot imagine a life without Ezra in it and Ezra has stated that he wants to come home to her (as well as the others).
Realistic Challenges: Sabine knowing that 10 years have gone by since Ezra disappeared and still being ever so loyal to him. Ezra, while knowing Sabines competence, still often not wanting her on solo missions.
Romantic Gestures: The Birthday gift from Sabine. The consistent support of Ezra. 
Character Flaws: The way they cannot see other one in pain and taking full front and lying in front of the other.
Resolution: They give each other full trust on the final mission with Sabine on her way towards him.
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Endcut:
In summary, this post aims to offer multiple perspectives on the dynamic between Ezra and Sabine, emphasizing that all three interpretations are valid based on the available knowledge.
Please note that this is a complex analysis, and the nature of their relationship remains open to interpretation.
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witchyintention · 3 years
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Astrology Dice:
Astrology is a form of divination which you might already know. However there is another form of divination using both astrology and dice. You will need a total of three 12 sided dice. Now I know not everyone can afford to buy them so you can us DnD dice if you have some. Below I have corresponds and meaning.
To use this method is rather simple ask the question and throw the dice. Use the symbols to answer them with the meanings below.
To use DnD Dice make. sure you have three 12 side dice of preferably 3 different colors. Using DnD dice we have numbers instead of astrology and planetary symbols which is fine. Give each dice a roll say your colors are Clear, Red, and Blue. Clear will be the house, Red the Planets and Blue astrology.
Clear Lands on 7. Go down to the meanings below. What is 7? 7 is the 7th house.
Blue Lands on 3. What is three? 3 is mercury.
Red Lands on 4. What is 4? 4 is Cancer.
Now use the meanings below to answer the question.
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The planetary die represents the situation at hand.
1. The Sun: The ego, your most basic self, consciousness, vitality, stamina, and creation.
2. The Moon: Emotions, instincts. habits, moods, and the unconscious.
3. Mercury: The mind, communication, intelligence, reason, and language.
4. Venus: Love, attraction, relationships, art, beauty, and harmony.
5. Mars: Aggression, sex, action, desire, courage, passion, and competition.
6. Jupiter: Growth, hope, expansion, luck, abundance, optimism, and understanding.
7. Saturn: Discipline, responsibility, ambition, obligation, law, and structure.
8. Uranus: Inspiration, change, eccentricity, chaos, rebellion, and reformation.
9. Neptune: Mysticism, dreams, intuition, psychic abilities, imagination, and delusions.
10. Pluto: Transformation, power, death, rebirth, and evolution.
11. The North Node of the Moon: Lessons that must be learned, fear of the unknown, fate, and the path forward.
12. The South Node of the Moon: The past, karmic baggage, and the path you have followed until now.
The zodiac sign die represents how the situation feels or the emotions involved with the situation.
1. Aries: Impulsivity, competition, letting go, intense reactions and situations.
2. Taurus: Sensitivity, hurt feelings, emotional responses, holding grudges.
3. Gemini: Duality, mischievousness, emotions over rationality, cleverness, curiosity.
4. Cancer: Deep emotions, lost friendships, loyalty, nurturing.
5. Leo: Confidence, stamina, leadership, pride, being the center of attention.
6. Virgo: Rationality, solitude, pickiness, overly critical, striving for more than you can handle.
7. Libra: Balance, harmony, or the need to find harmony in a situation that is out of control.
8. Scorpio: Transformation, truth, honesty, hidden emotions, a need for power.
9. Sagittarius: Adventure, seeking truth, positivity, optimism, a need for relaxation.
10. Capricorn: Controlling, possessiveness, business matters, barriers between people.
11. Aquarius: Anxiety, unpredictable future, a need for communication, introspection.
12. Pisces: Compassion, escapism, innocence, a person in your life may be acting dishonestly.
The house die represents what part of your life is being affected. 
1: Your personal life, how you look, and new beginnings. It also tells you to look out for accidents.
2: Look at your finances. There may be lost or stolen objects. Your finances will change, but this could be good or bad. Poverty or wealth, business transactions, and new material desires.
3: Siblings or people tied to you by blood and location. Short journeys, small vacations, and travel. School, especially early education for children. You may be expecting emails, letters, or advice, but watch out for gossip and rumors.
4: Parents or people that act as parental figures. Domestic issues are at the heart of your question. There may be new land, real estate, or inheritances on the horizon. Endings of any situation.
5: Fertility, women, children, pregnancy, and fun. Creativity, water, rain, teaching, gambling, hobbies, and romance.
6: Health, hygiene, daily routines, injuries, pets, and employees.
7: Close personal partnerships, like in relationships and business. Divorce, lawsuits, new contracts, rivalries, thieves, astrologists, or an unidentified person that could become a new partnership.
8: Death and, because of that, transformations. Could mean literal death, or even birth. The occult, taxes, debts, mortgages and loans, legacies, inheritances, investigations, suffering, dangers, and corporate money.
9: Journeys and long distance travel. It also represents religion, philosophy, education, lawyers, dreams, divination, wisdom, the arts, media, and publishing.
10: Career, success,fortune. It is also concerned with the environment and weather, as well as reputations and glory.
11: Good fortune comes with this house. It signals friends, those who may help you, protection, riches, gifts, joy, renewed hope, praise, and group activities.
12: Imprisonment, loss, grief, enemies, and solitude follow it. It represents death, fear, secrets, suffering, things that are hidden, our deepest thoughts, suicide, murder, and addictions.
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scatteredvirgo-blog · 4 years
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About Astrology Dice:
The Houses:
* 1: This house represents your personal life, how you look, and new beginnings. It also tells you to look out for accidents.
* 2: When this house shows up on the dice, it’s telling you to look at your finances. There may be lost or stolen objects. Your finances will change, but this could be good or bad. Poverty or wealth, business transactions, and new material desires.
* 3: This house represents siblings or people tied to you by blood and location. It also represents short journeys, small vacations, and travel. School, especially early education for children. You may be expecting emails, letters, or advice, but watch out for gossip and rumors.
* 4: The fourth house represents parents or people that act as parental figures. Domestic issues are at the heart of your question. There may be new land, real estate, or inheritances on the horizon. This house also represents endings of any situation.
* 5: The fifth house is about fertility, women, children, pregnancy, and fun. It represents creativity, water, rain, teaching, gambling, hobbies, and romance.
* 6: This house deals with all things related to health, hygiene, daily routines, injuries, pets, and employees.
* 7: This house is most concerned with close personal partnerships, like in relationships and business. This house could mean divorce, lawsuits, new contracts, rivalries, thieves, astrologists, or an unidentified person that could become a new partnership.
* 8: This house represents death and, because of that, transformations. Could mean literal death, or even birth. It also represents the occult, taxes, debts, mortgages and loans, legacies, inheritances, investigations, suffering, dangers, and corporate money.
* 9: The ninth house deals with journeys and long distance travel. It also represents religion, philosophy, education, lawyers, dreams, divination, wisdom, the arts, media, and publishing.
* 10: This house looks at your kingdom: your career, your success, your fortune. It is also concerned with the environment and weather, as well as reputations and glory.
* 11: Good fortune comes with this house. It signals friends, those who may help you, protection, riches, gifts, joy, renewed hope, praise, and group activities.
* 12: This house represents imprisonment. Loss, grief, enemies, and solitude follow it. It represents death, fear, secrets, suffering, things that are hidden, our deepest thoughts, suicide, murder, and addictions.
The Astrological Signs:
* Aries: Impulsivity, competition, letting go, intense reactions and situations.
* Taurus: Sensitivity, hurt feelings, emotional responses, holding grudges.
* Gemini: Duality, mischievousness, emotions over rationality, cleverness, curiousity.
* Cancer: Deep emotions, lost friendships, loyalty, nurturing.
* Leo: Confidence, stamina, leadership, pride, being the center of attention.
* Virgo: Rationality, solitude, pickiness, overly critical, striving for more than you can handle.
* Libra: Balance, harmony, or the need to find harmony in a situation that is out of control.
* Scorpio: Transformation, truth, honesty, hidden emotions, a need for power.
* Sagittarius: Adventure, seeking truth, positivity, optimism, a need for relaxation.
* Capricorn: Controlling, possessiveness, business matters, barriers between people.
* Aquarius: Anxiety, unpredictable future, a need for communication, introspection.
* Pisces: Compassion, escapism, innocence, a person in your life may be acting dishonestly.
The Planets:
* The Sun: The ego, your most basic self, consciousness, vitality, stamina, and creation.
* The Moon: Emotions, instincts. habits, moods, and the unconscious.
* Mercury: The mind, communication, intelligence, reason, and language.
* Venus: Love, attraction, relationships, art, beauty, and harmony.
* Mars: Aggression, sex, action, desire, courage, passion, and competition.
* Jupiter: Growth, hope, expainsion, luck, abundance, optimism, and understanding.
* Saturn: Discipline, responsibility, ambition, obligation, law, and structure.
* Uranus: Inspiration, change, eccentricity, chaos, rebellion, and reformation.
* Neptune: Mysticism, dreams, intuition, psychic abilities, imagination, and delusions.
* Pluto: Transformation, power, death, rebirth, and evolution.
* The North Node of the Moon: Lessons that must be learned, fear of the unknown, fate, and the path forward.
* The South Node of the Moon: The past, karmic baggage, and the path you have followed until now.
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bellabooks · 6 years
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Lesbian, Gay and Queer Couples Have Relationship Issues that Don’t Have to Do with Being LGBQ—and TV is Finally Catching Up
Being in a long-term committed relationship takes a lot of hard work. So much so that over 50,000 marriage and family therapists in the U.S. make their living helping couples work on the hard stuff or dissolve their partnerships when necessary. While we are all intimately aware of the struggles straight couples face due to the overwhelming representation of their relationships on television, we have rarely seen the same intimate examination of lesbian, gay, and queer couples (except on Logo). That’s starting to change. We’re finally getting mainstream portrayals of LGQ couples who aren’t solely struggling with homophobia or coming out. Of course, coming out stories are important, but LGBQ+ viewers need other stories, too. We need to see lesbian, gay, and queer couples navigating all the relationship issues that come with being in a relationship. Sure, some of those issues will naturally vary when considering queer couples versus straight ones—being in a relationship that some parts of society are just barely warming up to (and others are wholly antagonistic toward) is different from being in a relationship that society valorizes over and over. Regardless of to what degree their experiences are formed by their sexualities, however, it is refreshing to see lesbian, gay, bisexual, and queer folks in relationships navigate everything from toothpaste cap level annoyances to irreconcilable differences level deal breakers. Here are five women loving women couples from television who have issues that don’t have to do directly with their sexual identity, though in some cases, understandably, how the issue affects the couples is deeply impacted by anti-LGBTQ+ sentiment. Women of color are woefully underrepresented on this list (and in general on TV, especially when queer), which is something we hope can be remedied to some degree in shows like Black Lightening and Queen Sugar which boast badass queer women of color, but whose relationships have yet to take a large role on screen. Valencia and Beth, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Up until the most recent season of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Valencia Perez was the sexual rival of Rebecca Bunch. The two had vied for the affections of Josh Chan, Valencia’s then boyfriend and Rebecca’s former camp boyfriend. Things took an uncomfortable turn when Rebecca found herself slightly obsessed with Valencia—she even kissed her before Valencia told her to back off. Thankfully, the show did away with the rivalry and attraction between the two women relatively early on and allowed them their friendship to develop more authentically. In season three, the show jumps eight months forward and we catch up with all our favorite characters in their new adventures. Valencia, we find, has fully launched her party planning business and the woman who was one of her first clients, Beth, is now her girlfriend. Beth laughs at Valencia’s jokes, a defining feature of their relationship, but more importantly, Beth pushes Valencia to be realistic in their now shared business—the main reason the two have conflict. Valencia wants to book A-list clients, but Beth wants her to take her small town and the clients there seriously. When Valencia nearly ruins a teenager’s birthday party by trying to make it too fancy, Beth reminds her not to be ashamed of her roots. They share a tense moment before Valencia realizes Beth is correct and softens. It’s a small conflict, but damn, it’s beautiful to see the two interact, disagree, and work through it, and it’s wonderful to see Valencia valued for who she is, even while being told she’s approaching something wrong.   Alex and Maggie, Supergirl Alex Danvers met her friend turned girlfriend turned fiancée Maggie Sawyer on the job. Alex, the tough as nails D.E.O. agent and sister to Supergirl herself, swooned when she met Maggie, the equally tough detective. Alex’s attraction to her is what eventually helped her come out of the closet, but at first Maggie didn’t want to be someone’s coming out girlfriend. Unlike many depictions of queer female romance, Alex and Maggie’s relationship is relatively low on melodrama and tragedy. They get to be just two women trying to figure out their love. The two fall fast and hard in love and when faced with the end of the world, they decide to get engaged. Like many couples who fall fast and hard, Alex and Maggie had a lot of learning to do after they had already made a big commitment to one another. When Alex and Maggie realize they have irreconcilable desires—Alex wants children; Maggie is adamantly opposed—they break up. The breakup deeply upset many fans, but the way it was managed was truly unique. Whatever fights occur between the two predominantly take place off-screen and instead viewers get to see a mature, grown-up breakup, with all the pain and mixed feelings and lingering desire. It’s hard not to be disappointed when ships you love break up, but Sanvers has unfortunately come to an end. Here’s hoping next season will allow Alex to better explore her identity and find someone who wants the same things.   Sara and Ava, Legends of Tomorrow Over in another corner of the Arrowverse, Sara Lance and her darling Ava Sharpe have more than their fair share of issues—not the least of which is the fact that Ava is a clone from the year 2231 and Sara is a bonafide time-traveling assassin-cum-superhero. Before they start dating, Sara and Ava clash over their different perspectives on how best to enforce time’s continuity. Ava thinks Sara and her team are brash, but it turns out that brashness is part of what attracts Ava to Sara. After a bit of rocky coming together, Ava and Sara debate the girlfriend title. Sara mentions a former friend who she slept with, John Constantine, and Ava finds herself jealous and possessive of her lover. When Sara is (literally) possessed by the death totem and nearly kills all of her friends, Ava is forced to team up with Constantine. At first this chagrins Ava, but she won’t be deterred in looking out for the woman she loves, and in reality, her team up with Constantine helps Ava appreciate Sara even more. The two end up splitting because Sara fears her connection to death and what it might mean for those around her, but at the end of the season when Sara and her team have to face the Big Bad, a time-traveling demon of course, Sara tells Ava that she still loves her. I can’t wait to see what these gorgeous powerhouses have in store in the future, but it’s good to know they’re still working it out.   Cheryl and Toni, Riverdale Cheryl Blossom is the definition of mean girl in season one of Riverdale, but she’s a complicated mean girl whose brother’s death and the mystery surrounding it dominate the show’s narrative for that season. In season two, we meet the cute, clever badass Toni Topaz, a Southside Serpent who is open about being bisexual. Toni and the rest of the Serpents are sent to Riverdale High when their school is closed and that’s when these spunky teenagers meet. At first, Cheryl and Toni seem like an unlikely couple. Cheryl has only expressed an attraction for another woman in an unhealthy obsession with Josie (of Pussycats fame). Toni is in a gang and Cheryl is a stereotypical poor little rich girl. Or so we think. It turns out Cheryl has been trying to come out and been forced back into the closet since she was very young. Honestly, a lot of the narrative about Cheryl and Toni is about their sexuality—from Cheryl coming out to Cheryl being sent to a conversion camp. However, I’d say that the bulk of the issues within their relationship, which have only been shown on screen in small snippets, have to do with Cheryl’s mental health, which is obviously tied to her experiences with heterosexism, and the tension around their friends accepting the two as a couple, not because they are two women, but because a lot of the teens at Riverdale High just straight up dislike Cheryl. Toward the end of season two, we start to see Cheryl really come into her own as an agent in her life, and all signs seem to indicate it’s only upward from here for this adorable couple.   Cameron and Rhea, Take My Wife In Take My Wife stand-up comics Cameron Esposito and Rhea Butcher build a life together on and off the stage. Perhaps the most intimate portrayal on this list, the show is truly unique. (I recently caught up with Cameron about the show for Bella Books Blog. Check out the interview.) It’s hard to outline what exact issues Cameron and Rhea experience in their relationship that don’t solely have to do with being queer because every single episode is jam-packed with all that comes with being in love with another human. But, that’s what makes the show so great! In the first season, we see Cameron and Rhea navigate the difficulties of different work schedules, having diverse class backgrounds, one partner earning more than the other, learning how to communicate, and deciding to make the leap to get married. In season two, our fearless couple have to figure out long-distance romance, touring together, sharing material without overlapping, planning a damn wedding, and issues with their families of origin. Conflict and relationship issues are the fabric of a show that simultaneously balances being sweet with tackling tough topics like sexism and homophobia. Their network may have shut down operations, but you can stream both seasons from a number of providers or on the Starz platforms. http://dlvr.it/QVTwN9
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