#their story basically started out as a romantic drama.

[farfartothewestofeverywhere]

if Oscar and John ever actually come back to Star Wars it better canonize their feelings for each other AND have an on-screen kiss.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am i the A-hole for trying to protect a women focused space?

I'm the mod from the super one sided retelling of the "Refusing to change OC's sexuality to bi/pan" situation. Shin (the person who wrote that post) know i don't use tumblr so of course he bring the drama here so that people would judge "Laura" and me without knowing the full truth. Thankfully, a dear friend of mine who followed this blog told me about this and was kind enough to allowed me to send this ask using her account.

First of all, it's pretty clear that Shin is lying about his identity. Shin said he is a trans man but he admitted that he don't want to transition beside wanting flat chest. Shin also said that he is south east asian but his display name and his OC's name are all japanese, which is a huge sign of white weeb fetishizing japanese culture. The fact that his english and understanding of slangs is way too good to be south east asian.

Secondly, Shin joining this server knowing that 90% of the members are yumejoshi, he should be grateful of the fact that we even allowed those yaoi characters invading what basically a space for women. I know we advertised the RP as a non-shipping focus death game story but you should have read the room and know what type of people this space is catering to and not bring your gay character in if you didn't want him to be shipped with women.

Thirdly, if Shin was uncomfortable then he should have made it clear from the start instead of letting "Laura"s character flirting with his, like having him respond rudely or out right rejecting her or something. Shin said he is having undiagnosed autism in his bio then he should have understand how it feel when people don't state what they mean clearly. His OC still being nice to "Laura"'s OC even if he didn't like the flirting, of course she would misunderstand that his OC developed romantic feeling for her OC.

Fourthly, Shin said before that he didn't count alternate timeline versions of a character from a visual novel he likes the same as the original timeline version because of their different life experiences then why can't he do the same to his OC? Why can't he just agree to let "Laura" make an alternate version of his character if in his logic they are completely different people? Hypocrite much?

And finally, "Laura" was very upset about this and it took her a while to move on, she could have hurt herself back then because of you. Also, we had to revised our server's rules and banned all the non-yumejoshies, which cut several RPs short.

So who is really the A-hole here?

[deerspherestudios]

Hi there! I just wanted to let you know that I love your games! Mushroom Oasis especially has an especially place in my heart. Mychael is such an interesting character and one of my favorite types of yanderes—not violent towards his object of affection but still manipulative and willing to cross lines even if he feels guilty about it. Thank you so much for the work you have done; it’s obvious this game is a labor of love and I am looking forward to see how the story progresses.

In the meantime, I have to ask, do you think there might be a future option where the player can cook for Mychael? Totally okay if that is a little too specific. Cooking is just a love of mine and I love to cook for people I love and I feel that is something that Mychael would appreciate.

Also—and forgive me if you have answered this already—but I was curious to see where Mychael’s affection lands on the scale you created by the end of day 3. Or would there be more than one answer since it seems actions taken on this day might start to split between the platonic and romantic routes.

Thank you again for your time and for creating this wonderful game. Your art is so lovely and you have a real knack for fun character design.

HELLO!! Thank you so much for the kind words!! For me personally I've never been a fan of "if I can't have you no one can <3" type yanderes so knowing that it's a shared sentiment means a lot!!

I actually have something of an idea where MC does something nice for Mychael for a change in Day 4!

It was closer to buying a gift and the players can choose what they'd get for him but adding a cooking/baking option (or a more diverse set of gifts rather than just shopping for it) seems like a good idea! As usual the script is still cooking so we'll see!

As for the charts, they're answered here and explained here!

Also,,, idk if you'll ever read the addition below but I'm holding back on gushing rn because uh, this is for you personally but it's basically an appreciation post for being one of my fave authors <3!!!:

AAAA A A 11 !! ??

I'm gonna try and articulate myself in the best way I can but I have been a FAN of your writing since??? Gosh, 2015??? I was following your blog back when the pfp was a torchic (and a treecko i think??) and the header was Swiggity swiff Gotta Yiff ?? Idk if you're comfortable with people knowing of your writing but let me know if I should edit anything here!!!

I LOVED your writing so much it was silly and witty but you can do drama and heart and spicy just as well it was a major inspiration!!! I genuinely though it was a little goof when I saw you were following my blog the other day and THEN YOU SEND ME AN ASK??? IM, , , THROUGH THE ROOF, I would mention my fav fics of yours by name but I'd be outing myself but the scope is huge <3

I've been thinking of how to respond to this all DAY and decided to just be honest but but just know I love what you do <3 Admittedly idk if you still write these days but either way I hope you're doing well!!!! <3

[neoneun-au]

CAN'T HELP MYSELF; CHAPTER III: WHO WAITS FOR LOVE?

―PAIRING: wonwoo x fem!reader, mingyu x fem!reader ―GENRE: love triangle au, fluff, mild angst, romantic comedy, suggestive, smut ―CHAPTER WORD COUNT: 11.2k ―CHAPTER WARNINGS: angst, mild language, alcohol consumption, masturbation (explicit female, implied/mentions of male), 18+ only ―STATUS: ongoing

―AUTHOR’S NOTE: i cant link them here, but please find the series masterlist and other chapters on my blog. i would love to know your thoughts on the story so far, this is really only fun with interaction and it helps keep me motivation to finish !

iii: who waits for love?

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“You didn’t mention one of my roommates was basically a fucking model,” you complain, sinking into the absurdly massive grey sectional next to Jeonghan as he sits scrolling on his phone, attention removed from the drama providing background noise on the shared TV. 

“Who? Mingyu?” He tosses his head back with a bark of a laugh at the suggestion, “he’s a model idiot.” 

“Idiot or not you should have warned me he’d be so…so,” you toss your hands in the air, a dramatic display of frustration completed by the furrow in your brows. The image of Mingyu’s bare chest from your initial meeting (new and improved version 2.0 of hot roommate: now accompanied by a soundtrack of bed squeaks and the joy of someone else’s orgasm!) assaults your senses and you scrub it from your mind’s eye as best as you can before fixing your weary gaze back on Jeonghan, “so hot.”

“Oh please,” Jeonghan rolls his eyes as soon as the word falls from your lips. “Yeah he’s easy on the eyes, but once you get to know him his looks are much less impressive, trust me.” He shakes his head, raising his coffee to take a sip before pursing his lips and fixing you with a concerned stare, “I didn’t take you as the type to pine after tall, dark, and stupid. You’re not thinking of using him as a rebound are you?”

“What? Absolutely not,” the reply comes out perhaps more fervently than it should have because what was intended to deny the suggestion only serves to deepen the crease settling in between Jeonghan’s manicured eyebrows. You clear your throat and take a sip from the mug of tea growing cold in your hands as a cover. 

“Rebound,” you scoff at the word, trying to play off the twisting feeling in your gut with derision but only managing to dig the knife in deeper. “Definitely not. I have no plans to start dating anytime soon. Not after this breakup.” You’re aware that you’ve begun to ramble but as per usual, your mouth runs away with your words. Try as you might, you cannot scramble to retrieve them as they spill forward like a damn breaking open. Jeonghan stares at you with a slight frown as you monologue, “I barely even want to look at men full-stop. Don’t get me wrong, I mean, you’re okay, we’re friends and all. And Seungcheol is fine I guess ‘cause he lifted all of my heavy shit up the stairs like some kind of bodybuilding angel sent from protein-heaven,” a stray strand of hair falls in front of your eyes and you blow it away with a short puff of breath. 

“But dating? No. No, no, no,” you continue unabated, “absolutely not. I’m taking this time to get to know me. If anything, I’m dating myself. Mingyu might be hot but he won’t break my resolve, that’s for sure. I am determined,” you finish the speech with a single, firm nod–agreement with yourself clear and solid and in no way capable of breaking at the threat of warm brown puppy eyes flashed in your direction. 

“Right,” Jeonghan drags out the word, unconvinced by your impassioned declaration of independence. “Well, if you get bored of dating yourself and do end up wanting someone to mess around with for a bit, I can hook you up with some people. Serious or…less serious. Your choice.”

“I will be just fine on my own, thank you.” You nod once. Firm. Decisive. Not at all embarrassed by the display. 

“If you say so,” he sings, shaking his head and pushing himself off the couch before flicking the TV off. You sit in silence for a moment, sipping the last of your lukewarm tea, and listen as Jeonghan’ footsteps fade into the kitchen. The slight lingering guilt and shame from the night before stains your thoughts. A ring of liquid left on the surface of a coffee table, encircling the memory of Mingyu’s moaning and the keen sense of desire that burned a pit in your core at the sound.

Jeonghan returns from the kitchen a second later and sits down on the arm of the couch. He clears his throat to speak, more serious than you had seen since graduating university. “Listen, I’m not going to tell you how to live your life,” he begins. You inhale to laugh your disagreement of the statement but he holds up a single hand to silence you so you bite it back just as quickly. “I’m not going to tell you what to do, but I will just give you a warning, if I may” he lets his hand fall back down to his lap, “as your friend. And as someone who has your best interest at heart.” 

“Fine,” you allow, buying into the sincerity, “I’m listening.” 

“I said that I can hook you up with people both serious and not so serious,” he says, pausing to take a deep breath, “Mingyu is not serious.”

The image of the man in question pops up in your mind once more. An observable object–lips locked with the mystery brunette, hands roaming the expanse of her body as they flutter like a pair of dragonflies locked in a mating ritual towards his bedroom. The chorus of “ohs” and “ahs” that chorus in your ears like the audio from the old Italian softcore porn films you used to sneak out of bed to watch in your adolescence. The squeaking of the bed frame, and even the eventual abrupt departure first thing this morning, project themselves across the walls of your brain like a feel of film. All fleeting images and experiences serve as firsthand evidence backing up what Jeonghan is saying to you at this moment in the harsh light of day. 

“If you’re in it for a quick, no strings attached hookup then, well,” he sighs, brushing his bangs out from in front of his eyes, “you’re a grown woman, I trust you can make your own decisions. But I’ve never seen Mingyu with the same girl more than once. So just…be careful. Because if you want something substantial, you would be barking up the wrong tree with him.” 

You nod and the previous image of Mingyu–all roaming hands and bucking hips–dissolves pixel by pixel into the knitted brows of concern and the serious expression his classically handsome face held barely an hour ago. The warmth of his hand as it pressed ever so lightly against the skin of your forehead–an act so painfully tender and familiar it made you yearn at the intimacy of it. While your logical mind does believe what Jeonghan is saying, another part of you (a deeper and much more foolish part) can’t help but feel like there has to be more to Mingyu than the rest of them give him credit for. That maybe there is something to be taken seriously there. 

The thought dissipates into vapour as Vernon strolls down the stairs–bleary eyed and dazed with the lingering sleep still clawing at the corners of his eyes. He nods lazily in silent greeting, clad in tie dye and baggy jeans, and walks past the pair of you and disappears into the kitchen. 

“Just,” Jeonghan hesitates a moment, waiting for the sound of the fridge opening in the next room to disrupt the strained silence that had settled between you, “be careful, okay?” 

“Don’t worry,” you smile, genuinely grateful for the advice and care from your long-time friend, despite the bells of disagreement ringing out inside of you. “I’ll be fine.”

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. 

“Do you think I need a rebound?” The question comes after an hour of banter and conversation over way too expensive cocktails in the dimly lit corner of the bar you used to frequent when you were still going to university with Seulgi. Her insistence that you get out of the apartment and stop stewing in your own thoughts had finally paid off and truthfully the distraction was not entirely unwelcome. But you were still stubbornly refusing to admit that she was right. The status quo of your friendship since the very beginning. 

“Didn’t you say you were swearing off men or something?” Seulgi asks, tapping a manicured fingernail against the side of her nearly empty manhattan. 

“That was before I saw the reality of the men I was swearing off,” you sigh, mourning the loss of your already weak resolve. Solemn regret for the poorly timed declamations you had given voice to in the past. “And the reality is that they're pretty fucking hot.” 

“You mean one of them is pretty fucking hot, right?” she emphasizes, ever observant, and you grimace at her over the lip of your own half-empty glass.  

“One of them looks like a Greek fucking God for no reason,” you grumble, turning to wave the waitress over for another round, “like Adonis or something. It’s not my fault I have functioning eyeballs.” 

“Adonis wasn’t a god, he was the mortal lover of Aphrodite.”

“Well whatever he was, I’m now stuck living in an apartment with him.” The young waitress walks up with an expectant look and Seulgi orders another round of the same while you drain the last of your drink, savouring the bitterness of the gin as it lingers at the tip of your tongue. You watch the waitress as she walks back towards the bar, brunette ponytail swinging behind her like in rhythm with her steps, and wonder vaguely if maybe she’s the girl you saw Mingyu with. 

Seulgi turns back to you with a slight roll of her eyes, “I’m sure it's not that bad. Just ignore him, you’re mostly working or asleep  when you’re not just hanging around bugging me anyway.” 

“Pretty hard to ignore him when he’s so openly hooking up with some random girl in a condo with 4 other people who can clearly hear him.” 

“Well put some earphones in or something, listen to a podcast,” she laughs, shaking her head. You bite your tongue, reluctant to mention the fact that you had willingly listened in as they fucked. That maybe you had enjoyed it a little more than you were letting on. You didn’t need the inevitable teasing that was bound to come if you told her any of that. “Do you remember our one roommate? From second year?” 

“Oh god,” you balk at the memory, “Johnny?” 

“He was so loud,” she grimaces. So many late nights spent huddled together on her bed watching movies, joined in mutual avoidance of the self-proclaimed playboy and his rotating roster of girls. “And then you went and hooked up with him which was just the worst. He was so insufferable after that.” 

“Hey, in my defense I was desperate and not exactly in my right mind,” you bristle at the thought of your pathetic, erstwhile crush. Surely, you had thought in the throes of your youth and naivety, someone who pulled that many girls knows exactly how to make them feel good. Yet by the end of it, as he lay open-mouthed snoring on the bare mattress next to you, you were left with a clear idea of why you never seemed to see the same girl more than once. “Anyway, from the sounds coming out of her, Mingyu seems to actually know what he’s doing in bed.” 

“So you did listen,” she smirks. 

“The walls are thin,” you let the paltry excuse fall from your lips as she tosses her head back in laughter. Gulping down a mouthful of water in a vain attempt to swallow some of the embarrassment boiling like hot lava in your bloodstream. 

“What do you think they were doing?” Seulgi leans forward with a conspiratorial gaze–brown eyes full and bright and filled to the brim with a hint of evil. There have been a few moments throughout your years of friendship where she has fixed you with a look like this, and most of them led to some of the worst decisions either of you have ever made. Breaking into the community swimming pool after dark, stealing the neighbouring houses’ lawn ornaments, making out with dudes that may or may not have been married. Her desire for intrigue terrified and excited you in equal measure. 

“Pretty sure they were fucking,” you respond and she sits back, disappointed at the bland reply. 

“Yeah, I got that part. I mean details. If we’re gossiping, we should do it right.” 

The cacophony of the bar consumes you. Chatter and laughter from nearby tables floods your senses, drowning out the roar of guilt that knocks at the door of your mind as you consider your next words carefully. Whether to completely dive off the deep end and betray your new roommates privacy (in more ways than you already have). If you had been a little more sober and a little less intrigued by the man in your own right, you might have shut the topic of conversation down before it even began. You might have left the apartment for the night and slept on a chair in the lobby and avoided the entire tryst to prevent the memory of his moans from carving themselves into your temporal lobe. 

But you did not and now you are just as invested in the situation, and Seulgi’s complete lack of shame about asking for details further strangled any lingering guilt you had left. “Well,” you start and she leans in closer, eyes alight with anticipation, “they started in the hallway. I thought they were going to have sex right against the wall while I was trapped hiding behind the couch.” 

She laughs, head tossed back in mirth, “bet you would have loved that. Mingyu, bare ass out in front of you,” she jeers and you bristle at the accusation (even if you know she’s right). The waitress returns with your drinks and you mumble a brief thank you to her as she sets the glasses down. Seulgi continues to laugh, pleased with your reaction, “it would have been your wet dream come true.”

“Okay, that’s it. I’m not saying anything else,” you grumble into your fresh drink, wincing at the bite of the liquor. Cocktails were never your thing but Seulgi had offered to pay so who were you to refuse. 

“Aww,” she whines, “fine, fine, I’ll stop teasing you. Please give me the play by play. I am so curious.” She claps her hands together in mock prayer, pleading for your cooperation, and you think she might make an excellent lawyer or serial killer if she weren’t so normal most of the time.

“Fine,” you relent after a beat, already too wrapped up in reliving the night to abandon the story anyway. “Obviously,” you stress, “that didn’t happen. They were making out there for maybe like 5 minutes but it felt like hours. I was so worried she was going to see me but thankfully I managed to stay pretty low.” 

Seulgi takes a sip of her darkly coloured drink, you can tell she wants to interject but she manages to hold true to her promise. 

“So they stumble off to his room,” you continue with a sigh, “and I go to mine, which, mind you, is right next to his. We share a wall.” She winces and you give her a knowing nod, steeling yourself against the all too vivid memory. “I crawl into bed, trying to block out the noise for a while, which at this point isn’t too loud. It’s just like…some muffled talking and moaning and the occasional slap of like…skin on skin. Maybe he spanked her…” you trail off, shaking your head along with the words, fully invested in the theatrics of the storytelling now. “But, through some cruel twist of fate his bed, just like mine, is also right up against our shared wall. So as soon as they really get going, I can feel it.”

“What, like…” she thrusts in her seat, a quizzical slant to her eyebrows, “like shaking?” 

“Yup,” you pop the ‘p’ for emphasis and she lets out a low whistle. 

“For how long?” 

“I don’t know,” you shake your head, “felt like forever. I was just clutching my sheets like it was an earthquake or something.” You do conveniently leave out the heat of desire and curling of toes, but she didn’t need to know that part. 

“Did it start off slow?” she asks, voice conspiratorial. “Fast? Do you think he ate her out first?”

“Seulgi,” you hiss, keeping your voice low. You glance over at the table of college guys next to you but they don't appear to have been listening.

“What, I’m not allowed to ask?” She balks, hand on heart, and appears offended for a moment before the usual mischievousness settles back in and she leans forward with a glint. “Did Wonwoo ever eat you out?”

“We are not discussing the details of my sex life right now.” 

“No of course not,” she rolls her eyes, “we’re just discussing the details of someone else’s.” You grumble at the inability to argue with this statement. “How long has it been since you got laid anyway?” 

“I don’t know,” you sigh, dropping your head to the table and then regretting it immediately when you realise how sticky it is. “Like five months maybe?”

“Five? Didn’t you break up with Wonwoo like…” she fixes her eyes on the ceiling for a brief moment, calculating the time passed in her head before turning back to you with frown lines creased into her forehead, “six weeks ago?”

You shrug, sinking your embarrassment into another sip of alcohol, “so we hadn’t had sex in a while, so what?” 

“Do you think maybe that was a contributing factor in your dissatisfaction with the relationship?” She leans back in her chair, crossing her arms. 

“I don’t need a therapy session, Seulgi.” 

“On the contrary, I think you would benefit greatly from therapy,” she laughs, “but that’s not what this is. You’ve just been sort of distant lately.” You open your mouth to protest but she stops you with a glance, “don’t start, I know we’ve been hanging out, but over the last few months you haven’t been as open about your emotions and stuff. You used to tell me everything, even things I didn’t want or need to hear, but for a while it feels like you’ve just been…hiding. Internalizing.” She leans forward and taps the center of your forehead with one, manicured finger. “Stop that. It’s not good for you to be in your head so much.”

“I hate to say it but, you’re right,” you sigh, begrudgingly agreeing with her observation. The skin where she had poked you tingling in the aftermath of her touch like a beacon of truth.

“I always am,” she nods, “but seriously. We’re friends. I want to hear how you’re feeling. I know I make fun of you a lot, but that’s just ‘cause you’re so easy to make fun of.”

“Hey!” 

She laughs and you’re reminded of why she and Jeonghan always got along so well. “Seriously though,” she says, expression sobering, “maybe you wouldn’t fixate so much of your loneliness and desperation onto random guys if you got out of your head a bit more regularly. Just a thought.” 

“It's not desperation, I just…” you trail off, unsure of where to begin. Unsure even of what your own internal landscape was trying to tell you. You wanted to confide in her, to be more open and transparent, but it was hard to do that when none of you couldn’t even sort out your thoughts and feelings from your anxieties and worries. It was hard to be clear when everything just felt like mud. She waits, expectant, as you sift through the much for some clear strand of thought. “You’re right, about the loneliness anyway, I know you are.” She nods, dark hair spilling over her shoulders. “But it’s not desperation.”

“So then what is it?” she asks and you try to place it. Try to tug on the thought to follow where it was leading you. What was it about Mingyu that made you feel like you were chasing something? Clawing at the walls of some well of yearning like a prisoner of your own desires. What was it about him that was making you want more? More information, more contact, more, more, more. 

“I think,” you start, hesitant to speak the word lest it be wrong. “I think it’s curiosity.”

“About Mingyu?” 

“Yeah, him. And about myself,” you shake your head. Ruminating on your spiraling thoughts was one thing, but vocalising them for someone who knew you oftentimes better than you knew yourself was another thing entirely. Your thoughts held more weight now that someone else was bearing witness to them. They had more consequences now than just 15 minutes of anxiety or a few hours of doom-scrolling.

“What about yourself?” she asks, unraveling the mess as you present it to her. 

“I feel like…I’ve been in this strange place between needing people for everything and also trying my best to not need anyone at all. I can’t do my taxes without help, I can’t change a tire without help, I can’t even move apartments without it! But when it comes to emotions or vulnerability…I would rather just deal with it on my own, you know?” She nods, attention focused completely on you. Despite how long you’ve been friends, the direct attention still flickers a switch of shyness inside of you.  

“That’s what it was like with Wonwoo, too. He was never the most emotionally available person and I think I just got used to dealing with things on my own because of it. I didn’t want to burden him with my thoughts or feelings cause I know I have a lot of them. Don’t get me wrong, though, it wasn’t like he refused to listen or anything I just…he just wasn’t really open with his own feelings or thoughts so I sort of started to feel guilty about dominating those conversations all the time with mine. Like I was using him as some sort of emotional punching bag. And then I just got used to it, and it took so long for me to realise that I needed something more than that…” 

Any hesitation you had felt before dissipates as you talk, little by little. You feel like you’re back in your dorm room together, laying on your floor and just letting yourself pour out every thought, every feeling, every worry you had. Stream of consciousness–your lips to Seulgi’s ears. That open vulnerability you shared before life and work and everything else got in the way and left the door open for inhibition, shame, and guilt to move into the space between.

You feel lighter as you speak, like you had been needing this–craving it. Waiting for her invitation to come to let loose the torrential downpour of your mind to a willing listener. To a friend. 

She was right. She always was.

“So what is it about this Mingyu guy, then? You don’t think he would just be the same?” She asks, shifting the focus, and you purse your lips in concentration. 

“I’m not sure…” you trail off. And you really weren’t sure. Was he just an idle fascination after all? Did you just find him hot and that smoke screen of good looks was blinding you to the fact that he was just some guy like everyone before him? Or was there actually something there, in spite of it all? You mull it over while Seulgi takes a leisurely sip of her drink. “I was talking to Jeonghan the other day, and he said something that sort of made me think–”

“That’s a surprise,” she laughs, unable to resist the opportunity for a jab at your mutual friend. 

“He said ‘Mingyu is not serious’ and I don’t know,” you continue, unabated by her comment, “I get this feeling that that’s not the full truth.”

“What, like psychic intuition?” she laughs and you shake your head. 

“No, no…well, maybe. I don’t know. Obviously I don’t know the guy very well yet, and I have seen him do exactly what Jeonghan was warning me he does but…” you sigh, trying to collect your scattered thoughts of the man that is currently plaguing your mind. “He has also been very thoughtful, and he seems to notice such small details that the others don’t. I don’t know…I just think there might be something more to him than that, you know?”

“And you think you’re going to be the one to discover that side of him?” she asks, eyebrow quirked. Astute as ever. 

“No,” you start, but catch yourself in the lie immediately. “Well, yeah, I guess. I just want to see if my hunch is correct.” 

She fixes you with a withering gaze, dark brown eyes boring into your own for a moment before she laughs again, “Oh I get it now, you want to fix him.”

“I can’t help it, I love a project,” you sigh, resting your cheek in your palm and tracing idle circles against the wood grain of the table top. 

“So take up crocheting or something! Stop throwing yourself at every man who looks like a kicked puppy.” You groan at the accusation but can’t deny the truth in it. You did have a track record. “Look, if you want to do this. Really want to crack that big beefy chest open and see what’s inside, I’m not going to stop you, but I’m warning you now that I do not think this is going to end well.”

“You sound like Jeonghan,” you mumble, eyes closed as you listen to the lecture. 

“Good, at least someone you live with has some brains.” She shakes her head, pausing to hand her card to the waitress as she walks over with the bill for the evening. Silence stretches out for a moment, the din of the bar enclosing in to envelop you in its swell as you wait for the transaction to finish. The waitress returns and Seulgi slips her card back into her wallet before turning back to you, “I’m not saying this to be mean, but I really think you should take some time to be with yourself before you end up repeating the same mistakes you made with Wonwoo.” 

“Harsh,” you mutter, feeling the sting of it spear through your heart and settle there. Slow poison. 

She softens, eyes warming as she slides off her chair. You follow suit and walk with her out into the chill of the night. The bitterness of winter was starting to seep slowly into the air, you can feel it biting at your skin as you step outside with her to wait for the Uber she ordered to pull up.

“I love you and I want what’s best for you, and if you think that there might be something there with this Mingyu guy then I hope you’re right, I really do,” she says, a smile softening her expression. “I just want you to be careful, ok?” 

“Okay,” you sigh, hugging your arms tight against your chest to fight off the wind as it blisters through your thin jacket. “I love you, too. And I will be careful, I promise. I’m not really too keen to repeat my last relationship either…”

“Good,” she nods, eyes roaming to the curb as a slick black sedan pulls up. “I’ll see you soon. Try not to throw yourself too big of a pity party before then.” She waves goodbye as she strides towards the car. You roll your eyes, returning the wave, before starting your brisk walk the few blocks back to the condo.

.

.

.

Time passes slowly in the new stasis of your life. You take the new opportunity in the wake of your hangout to bury yourself in work and get through some projects that had been building up untouched while you were feeling sorry for yourself. You kept up with regular jogs with Seungcheol, largely at his behest, and they were starting to become an enjoyable break in your days. A way to clear your mind and focus your attention on your body. It also did not escape your notice that the route he was taking you on now steered clear of the street where you had seen Wonwoo a few weeks ago. You use your commitment to the new routine as a silent thank you to him for somehow knowing what you needed when you needed it.

Vernon was becoming a favourite of yours as well. A quiet denizen of the condo; he showed up at random hours, taking a seat near you but not too close, reading through scripts or scrolling on his phone in companionable silence as you worked. It was like living with a cat that took care of itself and had an impressive collection of beanies. 

Mingyu you tried to avoid, for the most part. He still plagued your thoughts on a daily basis, but out of respect for your friends’ concerns you wanted to give this budding infatuation time to settle into shape. To give yourself time to try and figure out what your real feelings on the matter were. You tried to find a delicate balance between roommate and acquaintance, figuring out his general schedule and adjusting your own accordingly so that you weren’t caught in any more awkward situations in the middle of the night or without anyone else around. 

All of these measures were helping to make you feel more at home in the condo. Less like an interloper disrupting their days and more like a part of the makeshift family–even if that part for now was cousin, twice-removed. 

As a result you were spending less time doing your work from the cafe and much more of it huddled over your laptop on the coffee table in the living room. Projects were getting done quicker, though it did mean that you were seeing Seulgi less often. 

“Why aren’t you answering my texts?” Seulgi’s face blinks to life on the screen of your phone as you finally accept her FaceTime call. “Are you still moping?” 

“I’m not moping!” you defend, raising the phone to hide the view of the pajamas you’ve been wearing for the past 24 hours as you were locked in a death-match with an upcoming deadline.

“Well how many more projects do you have left to do before we can go out? It’s been two weeks since I saw you now that you’re actually working from home,” she sighs in exasperation. Judging by the smoked out black liner defining her eyes, she was heading out tonight with or without you anyway. “Yerim is in town and she’s been asking about you.” 

“Yerim? Wait, since when? I thought she was still in England?” you straighten up at the mention of your distant friend’s name.

“She’s back for now to get some visa renewal stuff done,” Seulgi answers, “and we’re going out tonight so you should come if you’re not still buried under a mountain of work.”

You glance at the screen of your laptop, folders stacked on your desktop in a messy landscape of the digital mountain you created for yourself. The thought was tempting but you knew Yerim and you knew what a night out with her always entailed. Read: getting black out drunk in a club and stumbling home at 6:00am the next morning. You had made a lot of progress scaling your workload, but you weren't sure that even without work you would have the energy needed for a night out like that. 

The front door clicks open behind you and you spin your head to spout a quick greeting. Mingyu nods a quick hello, arms loaded with bags of groceries, before disappearing into the kitchen. 

“Who was that?” Seulgi asks, noting the interruption in your conversation.

“Mingyu,” you answer, mindlessly pushing yourself off the ground and bringing her with you as you walk into the kitchen behind him in search of a glass of water. He smiles at you as you enter but says nothing as Seulgi’s voice rings out through your phone.

“Ah,” she smirks, “the one with the nipples?” You roll your eyes at the clear attempt to embarrass you but nod—pointedly ignoring the man in question as he sputters next to you at the comment. You fill a glass with water from the filtered jug in the fridge. “So are you coming tonight or should I tell Yerim you’re too depressed?”

You give it a moment of thought. You haven’t seen Yerim since she moved to the UK in the middle of her third year of university, after the rest of you had already graduated. She sent some odd gifts here and there—chocolate, snacks, a figurine of Shakespeare wearing heart print boxers—but communication had dwindled as you all found your footing in your adult lives, far removed from the heady days of hedonistic college life. 

“Well first of all, don’t tell her I’m depressed, ‘cause I’m not,” you emphasise and Seulgi laughs at the bitter defense, “but I don’t think I can make it tonight. We should make plans for dinner or something before she leaves, though. Something a little more lowkey than the club.” 

“Fine, be boring,” she sighs. “By the way, Yerim brought a friend back with her. He’s apparently cute and not completely useless. She thought you might like to meet him, just as a distraction. Or a rebound that’s not going to jeopardize your living situation. He’s also coming tonight” 

You groan, settling down in a kitchen chair—opposite to the one Mingyu had sat down in with his reheated leftovers. He watches you with mild interest out of the corner of his eye while you try to think of a way to convince Seulgi that you don’t need Yerim’s charity date. “I would, but I already have plans tonight,” you lie, hoping she buys it without question.

“Oh?” she asks, eyes narrowed in cautious suspicion. “Do you have other friends?” 

“Very funny,” you roll your eyes, “but no, actually. It’s just with my roommate.”

“Which one?” she probes, digging you deeper into the grave of your own lie.  

“Oh uh–” you stutter but your eyes flicker above the screen of your phone, locking in on Mingyu’s own wide brown gaze. “Mingyu. We’re going to dinner tonight.”

He opens his mouth to speak, clearly confused by being dragged into your mess, but you shake your head lightly—willing him to just roll with it. He clamps his mouth shut and returns to his bowl of stew. 

“Mingyu?” Her surprise is genuine and you can tell she’s starting to believe you. A flicker of concern shines in her eyes. “Is it like…a date?” 

“No, Seulgi,” you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose between your thumb and forefinger. She was edging dangerously close to that  ‘jeopardizing your living situation’ territory on her own. “It’s just dinner. With a roommate.” 

“Okay,” she drawls, “but if you end up against a wall with his face between your thighs—”

“Goodbye, Seulgi,” you end the call with a panicked stab of your finger and lean back in your chair, eyes shut tight against the rising tide of anxiety. You feel lightheaded. Hopefully Mingyu didn’t catch that last part. 

“Did we—” He clears his throat. His voice, hesitant and low, floating in and dispeling your faint hope that he hadn’t been paying attention. “Did we have plans I forgot about?” 

You want to laugh, he sounds so genuinely worried. It forces a bitter bubble of bile to rise up into your throat. “No,” you shake your head, clearing it with a sip of water. “Don’t worry you don’t have to go out to dinner with me, I just really didn’t want to go out tonight. Yerim is sort of wild sometimes and the thought of meeting some stuffy English guy in a club was making me feel ill.” 

“Oh,” he smiles—also hesitant, but you can see a hint of his canines poking out behind his lips. “Well, glad I could be of service, then.” His smile widens and you can’t help but return it with one of your own. 

“You have been most helpful,” you laugh. “Sorry for using you as a scapegoat. Also sorry about the nipples thing, Seulgi has a selective memory.” 

“I don’t mind,” he shakes his head, the flush of warmth in his skin betrays the hint of embarrassment he’s trying to mask. You smile at the grace he’s giving you in what could have been an exceptionally awkward moment (especially after weeks of avoiding being alone with him) and push your chair back–wooden legs sliding against the tile. You stand up, preparing to turn around and hunker back down in front of your laptop screen, but Mingyu calls out your name before you get the chance. 

“Yeah?” you reply, half-turned towards the living room. 

“If you do,” he pauses, clearing his throat. “If you do want to go out to dinner tonight though…I could do that. I would uh…I’d like that.”

Your eyes trail from his still slightly pink face to his nearly empty bowl of leftovers. “But you already ate?” 

“Yeah,” he laughs, hand rubbing the back of his neck. A gesture so familiar to you from spending so much time with Wonwoo, but it looks different on him. Less like an anxious tick and more like a bashful habit. “I can eat again though,” he drops his hand from his neck and pats his stomach twice, “I’m a bottomless pit.” 

You should say no. You know you should say no. You shouldn’t dig yourself any deeper into this hole than you already have. But looking at him now, eyes so wide and genuine—freely offering you this tether of kindness—you can’t seem to bring yourself to summon up the word.

“Okay,” you reply, deadpan. Numbed with the confusion and surprise of this sudden change of plans so easily agreed to. So easily ruining weeks of careful avoidance and the cooling off of the one-sided tension you felt when you were near him. 

“Great,” he grins, white teeth glistening in the bright lights of the kitchen. “I need to grab a shower first and make a quick call, but how about we head out in an hour? What kind of food are you in the mood for? Do you have any favourite spots?” 

“I uh—” you stammer, unsure of the answer to the posed question. “I’m fine with anything. I don’t go out for dinner a lot so I don’t really know that many restaurants…”

“No problem,” he smiles again, standing up and grabbing his bowl. “I know plenty, I’ll bring you to a good one. Promise.” He winks before turning around to rinse out his dish and your heart skips a beat at the expression. One you would so often find lecherous and off-putting seems somehow so endearing coming from him. You scold your brain for the thought before stalking back to your room to change out of your pajamas and attempt to appear somewhat presentable. 

.

.

.

The lights of the city cast their soft glow over the water of the slow moving river. A hypnotizing dance of yellow and gold against the backdrop of the night sky. It lulls your thoughts–quietens them to a dull roar–as you sit next to Mingyu on a park bench.

You had finished dinner a half hour ago; a mouthwatering feast of flavour grilled by the deft hands of your roommate himself. You watched as he took to the task with an almost reverent disposition—ushering the food through the cycle of cooking as you sat across from him, absorbed in the aroma and savouring each morsel he placed in front of you. 

You had worried that he was going to take you to some uptight, fine dining restaurant where each dish was somehow the size of your pinky finger while costing more than you made in a day (Mingyu did have a vibe of luxury about him); but when he opened the door to the small, hole-in-the-wall barbeque joint in a random side-street you felt the tension in your shoulders ease and you were finally able to let yourself relax. 

He ordered–a generous selection of high-quality but reasonably priced beef–and you sat and ate and talked. It was normal and nice and the old wood-planked walls of the restaurant leant the entire dinner an air of casualness that your anxiety-addled brain desperately needed. Just a nice normal dinner with a roommate who you did not have any romantic attraction to at all.

Conversation continued after dinner ended. He was easy to talk to, easy to listen to, and you lost yourself in it, completely forgetting about your previous plan to avoid him, as he paid the bill. You continued to talk as you left the restaurant, stepped back out onto the street, and as you continued to walk together until you saw the Han River stretching out in front of you. 

You hadn’t been paying attention as you walked–just let your feet move under the vague assumption that you were just heading back home–so reaching the river had come as a surprise. Mingyu’s face remained impassive as he led you past the numerous couples dotting the riverbank, each splayed out on grass and blankets, bathed in the soft amber glow of the city. You followed him for a few hundred feet until he stopped at a small hill and sat down on a bench, draping his arm casually over the back as he leaned against the sun-faded wood.

You hesitate a minute before sitting down. The mirage of purely platonic companionship had dissipated step by step as you followed him downstream, watching the way his jacket moved against his torso–loosely fitted but structured enough to hint at the firmness of his shoulders underneath, swelling as his arms swung idly at his sides. Your mind blaring a fire red warning in Jeonghan’s voice: be careful. Mingyu notices you hesitate and offers a warm smile, just touching at the corners of his eyes. He moves over an inch on the bench to give you more space and your heart takes that moment to consider itself some sort of acrobat in your chest. You silence the warning, washing it out with your own self-soothing lies, before taking a seat next to him and focusing on the night skyline. 

Living in the city always felt isolating. Like the loneliness of existence was only amplified by the millions of other lives that played out parallel to your own. Millions of other people with different thoughts, feelings, and experiences existing right next to yours–there, but never touching. Lines crossing and converging but rarely intertwining for longer than a heartbeat. 

Wonwoo had been an anchor in that sea of loneliness. Something solid to hold onto as you were buffeted by the waves of life. Stabile, grounding. You never realised how much you needed that stability until it was no longer there. Until you were cast adrift once more, alone in the deep blue. 

Seulgi was there of course–as well as your other friends and family–but it wasn’t the same. They were islands of reprieve to visit when needed, and to offer the same when they did, but it wasn’t the same as having that one person to tether yourself to. To merge your life with and create a new island on solid foundations. Unshakeable, until it’s not. 

Maybe you were pathetic, relying on a partner for so much support. Needing someone to rescue you from your own life. Maybe you needed to save yourself for once. 

“Do you ever get the feeling like you’re going to end up dying alone?” you ask the question, half expecting it to dissolve into the air in front of you and go completely unanswered. Unsure if you even want an answer or if you just needed to remove the thought from your mind.

Mingyu scoffs, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he glances at you sideways–evaluating. “I don’t think that’s going to be a problem for you.” 

“Oh?” you raise an eyebrow, a twinge of offense scurrying up at the comment. “And what makes you so sure of that?”

“Well, what makes you think you would?” he counters and you let a small laugh slip out at the seriousness of his expression. 

“I don’t know,” you shake your head, dismissing the thought and turning your attention back towards the view. Bitterly regretting altering the mood so seriously. You should have remained flippant, joyous. Unserious. But when did your mouth ever listen to you? “I was just thinking out loud.”

“Oh no you don’t,” he laughs, “you brought it up and now you’re avoiding the question?” You feel the heat of his body warm the air around you as he adjusts on the bench, angling away from the river to better face you and pry the answers free under the weight of his attention.

“You avoided mine!” you bite back in defense, turning in kind to face him, but realising the trap too late as he flashes you a wolfish grin.  

“Ah-ha, so it was a serious question!” he cries, pleased with himself. “Listen if you want my honest answer, I will give it to you but I want an answer in return as well.” 

You hesitate, not for the first time tonight—wavering at the edge of the offer and cursing your propensity for sticking your foot straight into your mouth at the drop of a hat. 

Do you really want to open up to him like this? 

It had been such a nice evening. Good food, good conversation, and a nice walk along the river. It had been a while since you had felt so at ease in someone's company. And yet, despite all of that, you had to go and get lost in your self-sabotaging, meandering thoughts and open your big dumb mouth. Did Mingyu even really want to know? He seemed friendly and open enough but you can’t help but hear Jeonghan’s voice as it bounces off the walls of your mind: ‘Mingyu is not serious’. Did he know what Pandora’s Box he was willingly opening by asking you? Did he care?

You fix your gaze on him, evaluating, searching his eyes for any sign of ambivalence or even trickery. He stares back, waiting patiently for you to mull it over, and you come up with no discernable ulterior motive. Nothing lurking in the clear brown of his eyes other than open curiosity and a slight glimmer of amusement. 

“Ugh, fine,” you relent, falling back against the bench with a huff. You forgot Mingyu’s arm is resting against the back and you feel the pressure of it against you as you settle deeper into the bench. “Why do I think I’m going to die alone…” you repose the question, willfully ignoring the shiver that ripples out from the spot where his arm is pressed against you. You can feel the warmth of it even through your jacket. “Maybe because I’m a bit of an anxious wreck and that can’t be easy to deal with. Or maybe because I’ve managed to fuck up every relationship I’ve ever been in.”

“I don’t think so,” Mingyu replies, assured in his denial of your reasoning. 

You let out a mirthless laugh and glare into the middle distance. “Don’t think so? Don’t think what? That I’m not an anxious wreck? You clearly don’t know me that well.”

“No, I believe that part, though anxiety can be treated to a certain extent. I have this psychologist friend, Minghao, he talks a lot about it. I could get you his number if you want.” he offers and you furrow your brow at the suggestion. 

“You want to set me up with a psychologist?”

He laughs, “not like a date. Like if you wanted to book an appointment to see him about it. You know, like a therapist?” 

“Oh,” you mumble, immediately feeling stupid. “So what did you mean then?”

“Just that it takes two to fuck up a relationship most of the time.  You can’t fuck up something that wasn’t ready to be fucked up, you know? No one is perfect, we all have issues so no relationship is ever perfect and that’s not the fault of just one person.”

“Wow,” you exhale. His words sink in, a stark contrast against the internal monologue of shame and blame you had callously constructed. A differing perspective roaring in to shake your foundations. You try to reckon with it, the thought that it might not be all your fault, and it clamours and clangs against your brain in the worst way. In a way that you know it might be true but you’re not ready to accept it yet. 

“Did I say something wrong?” Mingyu asks, momentarily rendered insecure by your plunge into melancholic silence. 

“No, no,” you assure him, distantly amused by his immediate assumption that it might have been him that did something wrong. “It’s just…” you hesitate, unsure of how to word it. “I wasn’t expecting you to be so insightful.”

He snorts out a laugh, “thanks, I guess. I have my moments.” 

“No, no, I don’t mean that I think you’re like…incapable of insight, just…” you pause, trying to reformulate the thought in a way that doesn’t sound like an insult. “I’m just not used to getting reality checks like that from people I don’t really know that well.”

“Oh, okay,” he laughs again, in relief this time, and you feel the edge of tension you had been holding in your body ebb away. “Well, I mean it though,” he affirms, “I don’t think it means you’re going to die alone.”

“Okay, well,” you sigh, unsure where to follow this new proffered perspective, “thanks, I guess.”

“No problem,” he grins. “Your turn.”

“My turn?” You knit your brows in confusion, eliciting another laugh from your seatmate. “For what?”

“You answered my question, so it’s your turn to ask one,” he explains.

“I didn’t realise we were playing 20 questions,” you tease. The words leave your lips with a little more edge than you had intended and you wince. Why did you always sound so defensive? You glance at Mingyu and feel a slight sense of relief at the fact that he seemed not to have noticed the tone. 

“Well, if you don’t have any questions, I’m fine with being the hot, mysterious one in the house,” he winks and again you find yourself not hating how he looks when he does it. 

Still, you snort derisively in response. If only he knew how deeply not-mysterious he already was to you. “Hardly,” you reply. “Okay, fine. I have a question for you: why does The Notebook make you cry so much?”

Wide-eyed surprise ripples across his face, a tinge of red embarrassment colouring the tips of his ears, “who told you that?” he asks in a nervous half-whisper.

“Jeonghan might have mentioned it when I was moving in…” 

“Traitor,” he seethes, running a hand through his hair as he considers this revelation before answering you. “It’s sad,” he states plainly after a moment’s hesitation and you ‘tsk’, refusing the easy answer. 

“Lots of movies are sad, Mingyu. Why does this one in particular make you cry so much that I was warned never to watch it in the living room?”

He sighs again, heaves his chest in and out like an exasperated dog settling down for bed. You watch as he stares out over the river, wide brown eyes shimmering with the lights of the city, and wait for him to respond. You had never seen Wonwoo cry during a movie. You had barely seen Wonwoo cry at all. He kept his emotions held tight, whether for self-protection or because he really was just that steady you didn’t know, but Mingyu’s upfront expressiveness was a breath of fresh air. Seeing someone so open at every moment with how they were feeling made you feel a little bit less alone with your own rapid shifts in mood. Maybe you weren’t the broken one. 

“Fine,” he relents, “honestly, I know it’s corny. I know it’s a corny movie and it’s lame and dumb that an adult man with a job still bawls like a baby while watching it but I can’t help it. Seeing those two old people dying in bed together after reliving the tale of their love just gets me every single time. It’s a confusing mixture of sadness and hope and I have never been able to get through it without weeping.” 

“Wow,” you remark and he shakes his head. 

“Happy?” he huffs, again with an air of a disgruntled dog and you laugh.

“Very happy, thank you for sharing.” 

“Okay my turn,” he grins, leaning back against the bench once more, the wood groaning slightly under his weight as it shifts. 

“Good luck, movies don’t make me cry often.” 

“Well you’ve gotta have some embarrassing secret. Otherwise we’re on uneven ground, and I don’t like that.” 

“I’ve already told you something embarrassing,” you start to defend yourself but he shakes his head. Resolute. 

“What? About thinking you fuck everything up?” You nod and he laughs, “that’s not embarrassing, that’s normal. Everyone thinks they’re more fucked up than they are.” He shrugs and you again marvel at how casually he accepts the very thing that feels so earth-shaking to you. “Tell me your most embarrassing secret.”

“That’s not a question, it’s a demand.” you point out and he nods, considering the rebuttal. 

“Too broad? Okay, then what’s your favourite song?” 

“How is that supposed to be embarrassing?” you ask, aghast. 

“It’s not, I’m just curious. Not every question needs to be so heavy, you can get to know people through simpler things. Happy things,” he smiles again, coy, and your heart betrays you again with a flutter of wings against your chest. 

“I’m not sure,” you muse. He starts to protest but you cut him off before he can begin, “there are too many songs that I love to feel like I can narrow it down to just one all–time favourite. Too many things to consider.” 

“Like what?” 

“Like, what am I doing when I am listening to it? Is it a song I could listen to anytime, anywhere? Does that make it a favourite or just an easy listen? Is it a song that fills me with a swell of emotions? A favourite from high school that still makes me nostalgic? Or a recent song that I’ve played on repeat too many times to count? You see…too many things to consider.”

“Wow, you’re right,” he laughs again, “you really are an overthinker.” 

“Gee, thanks,” you scoff, rolling your eyes. 

“How about you just make me a playlist with all of the above and we’ll consider it answered?” he winks and you blink back at him, stunned to silence. Wonwoo never really got through the songs you would recommend to him, was Mingyu really going to go to the trouble of listening to an entire playlist? For his roommate? 

“Oh–okay,” you answer, unsure of what else to say. 

Silence descends for a moment, settling comfortably between you, and you glance around in surprise to find that most of the people that had been here when you arrived have since departed. How long had you been sitting on this bench talking?

As if reading your thoughts, Mingyu clears his throat. “It’s getting late,” he feigns a yawn, forearm flexing as he brings his hand up to cover his mouth, “but you have one more question to even it up before we start walking back home.”

You sit still, contemplating. While teasing him had been fun, an overwhelming part of you wants to really get to know him. To know what makes him tick. What thoughts and desires lurk in the depths of those puppy brown eyes. To find out exactly what it was about him that was drawing you in so much despite your (and Seulgi’s and Jeonghan’s) better judgement. 

“What did you want to be when you were a kid?” you ask finally. It feels like a silly question as soon as you ask it but you can’t take it back once it’s been spoken. And you do actually want to know the answer. 

“Is that your final question?” he asks and you hesitate but nod. You’re curious about what kind of kid he was. What his dreams had been before the demands of adulthood had set in. “Alright, but it’s silly,” he warns and you wait silently for his response despite it, “I wanted to own my own bakery.” 

“You wanted to own a bakery?” you parrot the response, surprised by his answer. “Really?” 

“I told you it was silly,” he smiles, voice a slight quiver. You hadn’t expected the answer, true, but it’s the nervousness around it that is really taking you by surprise. Like it’s kid Mingyu answering the question and not the 20-something year old adult you had bought you dinner. 

“No, no, it’s not silly, I just didn’t expect it,” you reassure him and the expression of embarrassment on his face melts back into neutrality. The wave of nerves slipping away into the ether. “Why didn’t you do it?” 

He shrugs, “my parents didn’t think it was a suitable career path for someone like me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You bristle, feeling defensive on behalf of the kid he once was. 

“I never asked for clarification,” he laughs. “Just went to school for business like they suggested. Jokes on them, though, I can still make a mean sourdough.” 

“What can’t you do?” you mumble, intending the comment to be unheard but clearly failing as Mingyu throws his head back with a laugh before getting to his feet. 

“Well, what about you?” he asks as you join him and you both head back down the path towards the main road. “What was your childhood dream?”

“I always wanted to be an artist,” you say, “and I sort of am doing that now just in a more corporate-friendly way. Career was the one aspect of life that I always felt I had a handle on. There was no guesswork. It was just me involved.” 

“Your parents didn’t have any different thoughts as to what they wanted you to do?” he asks, a slight note of surprise colouring his voice. 

“Not really, no,” you shrug, “they were pretty supportive, honestly. I think the only things they really cared about was that I got an education and was able to pay for rent and food.” 

“That’s lucky, it’s nice to have such supportive parents.”

“Yeah, I guess it is,” you nod. It had never been something you had actively thought about, just taken for granted and assumed it was sort of the same for everyone. You make a mental note to call your parents soon and catch up as you and Mingyu leave the park and the river disappears behind you. 

“Would you ever bake something for me?” you ask, matching Mingyu’s stride as you take a turn down the block towards home. 

“That depends,” he replies, amusement clear in his voice.

“On what?” 

“On whether or not you want to hang out again in the future,” he shrugs, feigning nonchalance. You see a hint of blush reddening the tips of his ears again and it makes you wonder. Was it just the slight chill in the air causing it?

“Well, we do live together so I think that’s almost inevitable,” you laugh, trying to brush the niggling feeling off with an assurance that you did not feel. 

“True,” he concedes, “then I guess I will. Are you more of a sweet or savory person?” 

“That depends,” you reply, a small grin turning up the corners of your lips. 

“Overthinking pastries now too?” 

“No,” you laugh, all lingering feelings of defensiveness gone from you. “It depends on what you’re better at making.” 

“Oh, I’m good at it all,” he replies, voice smooth–silk slipping over mahogany–as he holds open the door to the condo complex for you. You glance at him, eyes meeting his in the dim light of the lobby, and study him for a moment. He’s smiling, cool and casual, but there’s a seriousness hiding in the depths of his expression that you can’t quite unravel. It draws you in, curiouser and curiouser, until you find yourself face to face with a crossroads. Two paths diverge in the yellow woods of your mind and the only thing that remains is to choose.  

“Then I’ll take it all,” you reply after a breath, thoughts slipping into place. Threshold crossed, decision made. You step into the lobby and head towards the elevator leaving Mingyu to trail behind. 

.

.

.

The condo is blessedly quiet when you arrive upstairs; everyone else scattered throughout the city with Friday night plans. The absence of Jeonghan in particular is a relief, you knew that no matter what the context was, if he saw you return with Mingyu at this time of night you would be primed for some form of lecture or another. Whether verbal or simply that knowing stare he likes to give you when he thinks you’re being stupid.

That silent cloud of judgement would have been especially intrusive tonight as you step in through the front door barely clinging onto the tenuous air of bravado you had conjured up in the lobby downstairs. It would have shaken your resolve to follow this thought of intrigue towards Mingyu and thrust you right back into your torrential thoughts once more, spinning haphazardly between mourning over what was lost and what might not ever be.  

Instead you stand with shaky confidence and a pounding in your chest as you bid Mingyu goodnight, savouring that look of intrigue you’re sure is mirrored in his own expression as you close your bedroom door for the night and bar any doubt from creeping in behind you. 

You listen through the walls as his own door clicks shut before rummaging through the unpacked duffel bag in the corner of your room. You dig through unsorted paperwork, unopened mail, random knick knacks you had found no home for yet until your fingers grasp the object you were seeking.

Sleek, black silicone emerges from the bag and you glance behind you as if Mingyu might be standing there, ready to chastise you for your impure thoughts. 

You stand up, hesitating, evaluating the vibrator as it sits like a brick in your palm. You had only used it once, years ago, after buying it at a convention with Seulgi before it ended up buried deep in the recesses of your drawer. At the time your sex life had been consistent and satisfying–it was early days for you and Wonwoo and the excitement and novelty of having each other at your fingertips for the whims of the moment had kept you too busy to even remember that you had the toy stored away in the first place. It wasn’t until you were packing to move out that you rediscovered it.

You hesitate for a second before thinking ‘fuck it, I paid like $200 for this, I’m gonna get some use out of it’ and slipping out of your clothes and into your bed. 

You try to set the mood in your mind, fingers swirling idly over your bare skin as you flip through mental images of celebrities, movie scenes, fantasies that you used to use to get in the mood. Anything to deepen that pressure that burned quietly inside of you. None of your old tricks produce results and you sigh, ready to give up on the activity completely, before you feel the distinct thud of Mingyu’s headboard against the wall. 

You imagine Mingyu: what is he doing? Maybe sitting on the edge of his bed, scrolling through Instagram, or maybe he’s under his covers too. Maybe he’s having the same thoughts as you? 

You follow this thought where it takes you, back to that night the other week. Back to the low sound of his moaning carried through the drywall and plaster, the thudding of his headboard against your wall, back to that yawning pit in your stomach that felt like it might swallow you whole at any second. Your hand traces the path of the scene playing out in your mind, blazing a trail down your chest, stomach, and finally to the aching space between your thighs. 

You recall the weight of Mingyu’s arm pressed against your back on the park bench–steady and solid. The sound of his voice and laughter muffling your gasp of surprise as you flick the vibrator on and jump at the sudden noise filling your room. 

You flick it back off immediately, worrying that the distinctive buzzing sound would carry itself through the cover of your blankets and body and make it through the proven-thin walls towards Mingyu’s ears. He would know for sure you were in here thinking about him, fantasizing about his lips on your neck. The thought of discovery adds a confusing stab of guilt to the knotting in your guts but you do your best to squash it as it pops up. What exactly were you doing wrong? You were tired of denying yourself pleasure out of fear of other people’s judgements or shame. You flick the vibrator back on, this time prepared for the noise, and dig the object deeper between your thighs. 

Maybe part of you wants him to hear you–wants him to know what you were doing alone in the dark in the bedroom next to him. Maybe, in this alternative timeline, he knocks softly on your door. His brown eyes rake over your naked body, bared to him like a gift prepared just for him. His sweatpants strain with the pressure of his bulge as his blood travels lower, and lower. Filling him with the desire as it fills you now. He steps forward, wavering at the threshold of your bed and asks, voice so low it plucks at the strings of your core, to join you. To help you release this coil of tension that had made its home inside of you, growing bigger and hungrier every single day since running into him half-naked in the kitchen that first night. Maybe he’s been running through this same scenario every night before bed, hand gripping his cock as it pulses in his hand, sweat beading his brow. 

Alternative timeline or not, the thought itself is all that you need to push you over the edge as you move the vibrator against your clit, finding the right rhythm of pressure, the right balance of relief, to feed the beast of desire crying open-mouthed inside of you. To have your legs shaking and your core pulsing with waves of pleasure no longer denied. You cry out, muffling the sound with the back of your free hand, and for the first time in years it isn't Wonwoo's face clear in your mind as you reach your climax.

© 2024, neoneun-au. all rights reserved.

―AUTHOR’S NOTE: i cant link them here, but please find the series masterlist and other chapters on my blog. i would love to know your thoughts on the story so far !

[hkthatgffan]

Hey! You seem like a huge *Gravity Falls* fan, so I was hoping you could answer some of my biggest questions about morality in the show. Since the release of *The Book of Bill* (which I’ve read), do you think Bill could ever be redeemed or seen sympathetically? Is there a possibility for him to get better and maybe even have a happy ending?

I ask this because I see a lot of fans saying, "He's awful," or "He deserves everything coming to him a thousandfold," and "Don't sympathize with him!" But then I watch the show, and I see characters like Gideon Gleeful and Robbie who were also problematic—they did terrible things but still got happy endings.

I know Gideon went to jail, but he broke out and ultimately had a positive resolution. Robbie, for example, tried to brainwash Wendy into a romantic relationship (which is super messed up!). Even though it didn’t work, and Wendy only dated him because she thought he wrote her that song, Robbie knew what the CD was supposed to do. But instead of facing real consequences, he just went through a breakup and still ended up with a happy ending, with friends and a new girlfriend.

As for Gideon, he tried to kill Dipper, manipulate Mabel, and invade the entire town’s privacy—basically doing some of the same things Bill did. Yet, after going to jail and making a last-minute turn toward good, he still got a happy ending.

So I’m super confused. What should I be feeling? Is there a correct way to view these characters? What do you think?

Bill at his core is the personification of denial. We see in the book that the harbours some regret and hatred for what he's done to the people around him but he refuses to try and take it to heart and use it as a point to grow from. I mean, look at what he did.

He killed his entire dimension and family and yet tries to deny it was anything bad and that in fact he liberated them. He manipulated and almost destroyed Ford and yet denies ruining the friendship they had. He tried to kill Dipper and Mabel and yet acts like it was nothing. Bill is unsympathetic. He's a narcissistic sociopath who doesn't wanna admit it.

The difference with Robbie and Gideon is that they changed and grew past their issues. Robbie tbh was more so being a literal teen drama story while Gideon was made that way through his exposure to Journal 2 and how that corrupted him. Once both found a new lease on life, they were able to grow and become better.

Bill is not that. He cannot accept that he's not fine and that he's the sole survivor of his kind and has pushed everyone he knew out of his life through his own actions. We've all probably dealt with people like Bill Cipher. Be it a person, co-worker, significant other, friend, family member, etc. We've all had that person who acts full of themselves and manipulatively but in reality is suffering. But because of how they act and their refusal to do anything, you start to lose any sympathy or interest in helping or being there and just let them go. Congrats...you just escaped a toxic relationship.

As someone who has dealt with Bill Ciphers in my life like many of us probably have, it's easy to feel sympathy for him. Bill make his case out as such that you wanna feel like he deserves better. But he's a trillion year old being that has been doing the same thing over and over again and refuses to make an effort to move on and let himself accept what he did to his dimension and to people around him like Ford.

Ford on the other hand realized that and cut Bill out of his life. He's doing better now because of that and has his family by his side. Ford is an example of how to move on from such toxic situations and people and find happiness in your life again after that. Bill is the example of what happens if you can't.

Life is short. We all will die one day. We all deserve to lead a life free of people like Bill Cipher in it. The best thing we can do is follow Ford and find the people in life that make us happy and let go of Bill.

So, to answer your question, NO!

I don't think Bill Cipher can be redeemed or seen in a sympathetic way. He tried to. But he's shown even in the Theraprism that he can't. He's doomed to live forever with the shit he's done. And it's his own fault.

Bill can say he's fine but in the end...he's not. And he never will be. There is no redemption for Bill Cipher.

[threebooksoneplot]

what draws you both to jalice/makes you so feral about them as a ship?

you should know we had an entire meeting in order to answer this ask. no this could NOT have been an email (unlike new moon) 🤭

Secretary G took notes. they are as follows (read the bolded parts for a tl;dr)

we kind of see it as though jalice got the traits that edbella weren’t allowed to have, either due to their status as protagonists or because smeyer's mormon background causes her to view these qualities as too sinful/negative for her wholesome Waiting Until Marriage main couple. (examples: alice's materialistic, "shallow," hyperfeminine qualities, her character flaws (especially her manipulativeness), and jasper's aura and history of fucked up violence closer to what you'd find in traditional vampire stories/horror/adult gothics/books not written by a mormon author)

in terms of how much screentime the non-main-love-triangle canon couples get, their relationship is kiiiinda given the next-most weight to edbella’s (examples: jasper's extreme overprotectiveness, the New Moon chapter 19 moment where alice prioritizes jasper and bella is like “yeah I get it, I would do the same.”) basically smeyer gives jalice's relationship a lot of the qualities she finds romantic/ideal, (and which are either similarly romantic to us or entertainingly toxic/a good source of drama), presumably because alice is like her 4th-favorite character after the main love triangle and she wants nice things for her

we both really love how, superficially, as presented in the books, jasper and alice seem to have this almost “courtly love” that smeyer has described as "spiritual." yet when you look closer, their relationship has so many darker undertones—the deep codependency bordering on obsessiveness (mutual, but especially the way it manifests on jasper's end—"I will kill this random teen girl who witnessed edward's jean valjean moment™ because any means are justifiable when the ends are Protecting Alice"), the dark sides of both of their powers, the idea that jasper is only a cullen and/or only a vegetarian for alice's sake, etc. hell, even the fact that they're the only Cullen couple who we know had (gasp) premarital sex 😏 (I mean we assume rosemmett did too, but alas, they don't have that hilarious "carlisle convinced jasper and alice to get married" quote from smeyer)

partially summarized: "jasper’s general desperate willingness to sell everyone to satan for one corn chip if it keeps alice safe (carlisle: I know this and I love you)"

we're forever smug that the movies gave us even more jalice screentime (especially remarkable in such a protagonist-centric universe), including jasper being in the same grade as alice/bella/edward, and the extra jalice kisses in Eclipse and BD 🥺

what we wrote down as the “who’s protecting whom" phenomenon, as coined by G in this old ask. (shannon: "jasper is the toddler you've given the PS2 controller that's not plugged in")

we also like the characters individually. jasper is for the girlies with competency kinks—a stoic caretaker who speaks little and mostly expresses himself via acts of service. we also both love the way in which he needs protection from his own uncontrolled violence (slipping up and killing humans, suffering the pain and fear he inflicts, etc.) he is, in the words of our beloved @liceparade, the "line cook trauma boyfriend"

“It’s hot when there’s a fictional violent man who wet babygirl 😌” —shannon

and alice, unlike bella, genuinely loves being spoiled and bossing people around. she's brat-coded, she's confident and secure in who she is, her god complex ("I'm close enough [to omniscient]") causes fascinating conflict, bella eats drywall from sheer horniness at her merest movement, she dresses like a slut in the Mormon YA Novels and yet somehow escapes authorial condemnation, she has a sickass gothic heroine backstory, she's "annoying," aro started a whole war over her (eat shit helen of troy 🖕), she spaces out in public and has to be led around by jasper, she's one of the most powerful vampires in the world, she's in high school getting a C+ on her precalc test 💅🏻

it's appealing that smeyer frequently puts alice in the center of the series' various conflicts (james' singer and "one that got away," the accidental cause of all the drama at the end of new moon, one of aro's secret True motives for starting the conflict in BD.) this is mostly as a consequence of smeyer using alice as a plot device and/or deus ex machina, but it is in fact interesting

is alice jasper's morality chain? we love pondering this question via fic, meta, etc (especially because...alice ain't exactly a model of ethical behavior herself)

together, the two of them exhibit lots of classic tropes. they're grumpy x sunshine, chatty x silent, opposites attract, etc. to say nothing of that height difference 🥵

we love the yin/yang symbolism of a character with a horrific past paired with a character with NO memory of her past, who is focused on the future and all about potential. not to invoke an ancient phrase but POETIC CINEMA

the next note just says “POTENTIAL in general.” I assume we meant how all of the above stuff creates potential for interesting stories, conflicts, metas, art, fic, etc

G has brought this up in the past, but we love the irony of jasper, a character whose chief desire is to be left in peace, being soul-alteringly in love with the one character who will always be a giant glaring target through no fault of her own. hilarious

[lovemyromance]

Hear me out 🖐️😌

What if SJM planned for a rejected bond trope all along?

Walk with me 🚶🏽‍♀️‍➡️

What if she knew she wanted to do it - but she was still indecisive on who/which couple would have it?

She has admitted Lucien was originally supposed to end up with Nesta - that's why the flames on her drawer were there as early as the second chapter of ACOTAR.

And if you think about it - they'd honestly make a decent couple? they're both witty and sharp and have a darker sense of humor and Lucien is aristocratic in a way that Nesta was supposed to be drawn to. He is basically Eris - without the scrupulous morals. Why would SJM scrap that?

1. It could be just due to the introduction of Cassian - the chemistry those two had on the page that even SJM didn't expect

Or, perhaps:

2. If the rejected bond trope was to be done with Nesta & Lucien - SJM realized very quickly after fleshing out Nesta's character a bit more that this hellion of a woman wouldn't even leave Hybern before immediately rejecting that bond. There would've been zero build up - zero drama - zero story because the second Lucien claimed her as his mate, Nesta would've renounced it or made it her mission to find any possible way to reject the bond.

The rejected bond in itself is a major plot point/twist. It does not make sense to have a couple reject the bond - then fall in love. It does not make sense to have a couple fall in love - then reject a bond. It's simply not a logical process of events 🤷🏻‍♀️ you'd essentially be wasting 700 pages of a love story development for no reason.

So then if SJM were to do a rejected bond trope - who else does that leave?

Elain mf Archeron 😌

It makes sense that she wrote them as "fated mates" ... and then proceeded to spend 3 books showing us every which way how they are incompatible. How they are doing just fine being on opposite sides of the continent. How they ignore each other, avoid each other. How they both have lead separate lives and are starting to show romantic interest in other people, rather than each other.

The way she has written Elucien makes sense ... only IF they were to become the "rejected mates" trope.

Only if they were meant to break the bond, and find true love outside of fate.

It makes sense then, that SJM went on the today show and talked about rejected mates. It makes sense why she gave Azriel - not Lucien - a bonus chapter. It makes sense how every single thing that should have belonged to Lucien - Elain included - was written with Azriel instead.

Let me show my work 🤨:

I have a much lengthier post I can't be bothered to find that shows exactly how Elucien should've been written to make readers root for that forced proximity - reluctant mates trope (again) ...

But to summarize: If Elucien stood a chance, SJM would've kept Lucien around. She would've had Lucien save Elain from Hybern. She would've had Elain give Lucien a solstice gift. She would've had Lucien figure out Elain's powers. She would've had Lucien & Elain in the bonus chapter.

So - in conclusion - SJM likely always had the rejected mates trope in mind. She couldn't have done it with Nesta - so that left Elain. She had initially planned for Moriel, so Elain's "reluctant" mate defaulted to Lucien. But then when she wrote ACOWAR - more and more signs and similarities and chemistry started popping up with Elain & Azriel - and the plot thickened.

Mor hastily became SJM's token LGBTQ+ representation. Azriel became Elain's true love interest. Lucien became the rejected mate - though not without planting breadcrumbs for his happily ever after as well.

I do not believe with the passion SJM has for the #3 that she was able to resist a perfect 3x3 setup. Everything falls into place with Elriel. It's a master plan, really. And if she stumbled upon this by accident even, well done SJM.

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

Has anyone asked you about erisol?

If no, then what's your opinion on them! :-)

I feel like people will be upset at me for this, but a completely platonic and completely lukewarm mutual dislike... they don't really like each other, but take no great issue with each other either. The boys are not fightingggg

So like. A common thing in fandoms is taking things at face value and not really reading any deeper into them. You see this a shitton with Eridan in general - lots of people take it 100% at face value that he's a casteist genocide liker, when it's pretty clear upon further examination that he's pretty much lying about being casteist and doesn't actually want to murder his friends. So, at face value, Eridan hates Sollux, and either wants to do spadesies with him, or go ashen with him. And so this has become a really popular ship, but the thing is... at basically every turn, the story kind of goes out of its way to point out that there's actually nothing between them. At least romantically.

See, Eridan does not actually hate Sollux, at least not to the level of pitch/ashen. TWICE before Sollux and Feferi start hanging out all the time, we see Eridan commenting on Sollux in a fairly neutral-negative way - the first time calling him "a drama machine" and noting that "it is fuckin pathetic," and the second time as "the dead guy who saved [Feferi]". And let's be clear about the former, Eridan is just kind of Like That, he's rude as fuck even about people he LIKES (calling his BFF Karkat an "assblood" and sarcastically referring to Feferi by her royal titles), so that's actually one of the less nasty things he's said about someone.

Meanwhile, on Sollux's end, he LITERALLY says "not interested" to what he perceives as pitch/ashen advances from Eridan. Like, actually just says those words out loud. Not even in a pesterlog, he actually just says those words with his mouth.

So it seems to me that there's a pretty clear case to be made here that Eridan and Sollux kind of just... don't really give a shit about each other, and probably wouldn't have interacted in any substantial way if not for Feferi's involvement. Especially because Eridan's chosen method of hitting on Sollux is with casteism, something he's already faking in the first place.

If we really want to dig into this, though, it's kind of - in my eyes - a lukewarm case of the hedgehog dilemma. They're a bit too similar, and it winds up causing them both mild pain to get too close.

They're both nihilists that kind of hate themselves. Sollux's mutated brain causes him a not-insignificant amount of discomfort, his visions of the future and of the "imminently doomed" have made him lose a lot of hope, and he blames himself for killing Aradia, something so painful that he didn't tell anyone else she died, to the point where most of the team - including Terezi and Tavros - had to find out after entering the game. Meanwhile, Eridan struggles with the perceived inevitability of a lifestyle that causes him nothing but distress, and his constant, overwhelming anxiety about it leads to constant stressing over whether or not he's "good enough"; whenever he's in severe emotional distress, he starts beating up on himself.

They also both front at being more okay with their problems than they actually are. Sollux has his 1337 hacker, two cool for you persona that he puts on, and Eridan is always trying to be the big bad sea dweller. For example, Sollux goes "I'm not trolling the humans, it's beneath me," but he's in Jade's trollslum, so the implication there is that he totally did try trolling, it went badly for him, and now he's pretending that he was always better than that. And I don't think I need to tell you how hard Eridan works to try and present himself as badass and scary and totally not deep in the throes of emotional anguish at all times.

And these are the similarities that ultimately make Erisolsprite so stable. Erisolsprite speculates that maybe the reason he hasn't exploded yet is that deep down, he loves to suffer. The truth is, there's nothing between the two that's really so objectionable that they would ACTUALLY hate each other; Eridan isn't actually casteist, and Eridan never really hated Sollux in the first place.

Neither would they bring each other any comfort or joy - Eridan doesn't have any sympathy for Sollux's baggage, since, like, what, he only killed ONE person, and was even under mind control, so it's not like it was really his fault. He's a drama machine. And Sollux wouldn't have sympathy for Eridan's problems, partially because they manifest in such cringeworthy, embarrassing ways (and Sollux is highly sensitive to not being cringe, seeing as he's always commenting on other people being embarrassing or overly earnest), and partially because - I mean, fuck it, he's a rich-ass sea dweller who doesn't need to worry about being harvested to be a battery for a living ship. And also he's an idiot.

That's kind of what their relationship is to me, you know? A tepid and lukewarm dislike. They're just similar enough to each other to understand the other, and just different enough to be like "ugh, but that guy suuuuuuuucks". It's very funny, but not really a ship, hahaha.

So what you really get from that is two guys that just kind of dislike each other. Not vehemently or diametrically enough for pitch or ashen, and not a trace of the requisite pity for flushed or pale. When you throw the two together into one sprite, it won't shut up about how much it hates itself, how each part of itself is flabberghasted by the other, and how much practically the only reason it doesn't explode is a resounding "meh."

Eridan likes to validate his despair; ironically, since it's all he's ever known, it's where he feels comfortable - and nobody would provide better doomscrolling material than the doom player. Similarly, Sollux likes to torment himself, suffering his guilt in silence, and Eridan has SO MUCH to feel guilty over. Combine them into one entity, and you have a guy who can reach SUCH levels of revelling in his own misery, you don't even KNOW.

Not that it's healthy or positive for either of them... just that it would be incredibly stable. It's their worst tendencies being satisfied by each other. Maybe that's a form of leprechaun romance, but it's certainly not a quadrant.

[hwnglx]

Can i request a reading of enhypen’s ni-ki off cam personality? And his views when it comes to relationships (platonic and romantic)?

i will be doing the second question in another post, maybe even in a collective one for the full group 🤭 enjoy the read

niki's real personality behind the scenes

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

3ow&su, 9osw&5op, 10op, pagosw, 7op&to bod: 4osw + off cam, niki is someone pretty open-minded. i'm getting this huge desire to expand his views and beliefs, big interest in experiencing things that are very foreign and new to him. he definitely loves a challenge and feels his best when he can just go somewhere else, whether that's physically or mentally. does he enjoy travelling in his free time? if he doesn't do it, he definitely wants to. he likes getting his mind off life sometimes, and just exploring different cultures, or even hearing stories about people's lives completely different to him. he finds it very interesting and intriguing.

one thing that's a constant for niki, is this boy lives to work. it's interesting, because despite this being a reading on him off cam, even behind the scenes i can see work occupying most of his mind. he's been exposed to the industry since he was so young, it's pretty much all he's known till now, so it's almost like the easiest thing in the world for him to remain career-focused. it's when he feels he's at his best, and most comfortable. in contrast, when not working is when he can quickly get into a more tense headspace and start overthinking. he's the type who needs to stay busy, in order to distract himself from his own thoughts, since he can be a huge overthinker, especially in regards to himself. i can just see him obsessing over doing everything perfectly, and himself being his own biggest critic. (is this boy an earth rising? he kinda looks like one too) but he has extremely professional and surprisingly mature energy in regards to his career. honestly blew my mind to remember he just turned 18 and could teach some older idols a few things concerning their attitude at work.

niki is also a person who is much more observant than we realize. he's someone with a quick wit and clever mind, a person who basically lives in his head. very very smart boy, much more intelligent and insightful than some people think. there is this self-aware and self-reflective quality to him, where he can quickly pick up on his mistakes, and is always open to changing. literally, he doesn't mind completely tearing down some habits, if that means he'll improve. he's always looking to reach his best potential, and is firm in his mentality.

to give you an example, he definitely had and sometimes still has the habit of being very sharp-tongued. sometimes he just says things that can easily hurt people, and this is something he's very aware of. he doesn't just brush it off like "whatever, guess that's what i'm like" no, he will definitely reflect on his behavior once he gets some time to think and put in effort to improve. especially because he himself is much more easily hurt than others think, even he himself doesn't always seem to acknowledge his more sensitive side. so there is this subconscious thought of "i can't be like this."

in general though, niki is just very chill and laidback. he truly doesn't like drama, doesn't enjoy conflicts, just wants to stay low-key and do what he has to do. i can see his hyungs fighting like cats and dogs while he's sitting there on his phone completely unfazed by what's going on. he doesn't enjoy being consumed by negative energy, since this can get his emotions to bubble up and truly mess him up sometimes, so he keeps himself out of situations as much as he can. could definitely seem kinda self-absorbed to some people, but he's just very protective of his own energy.

whe&3oc, sta, pagow, 7oc, pagoc, 4osw&acop, bod: 9op

- he just lives in his own little world and bubble, to an excessive extent. pretty selective about who he calls his friends, and truly doesn't seem to be very invested or even interested in putting effort into maintaining friendships. is he the member who just never answers on katalk and doesn't really react in the enha groupchat lol, like a ghost? that's the vibe he's giving. unbothered about others, puts more thought into matters about himself and his own life. if it doesn't concern him, he doesn't truly care. i see this pattern a lot for people who are incredibly absorbent to others' feelings and energy, often for significant pisces placements (esp ☾) they're so easily consumed by that, it's a self-protective mechanism in order to shield themselves from any sort of hurt.

niki still struggles to truly acknowledge and appreciate his more softer and emotional side. that's when he feels more awkward and insecure, it's a part of himself he's not comfortable with. he doesn't enjoy getting emotional, since he fears the loss of control over himself, he gets worried about just saying or doing things out of pure emotion and messing things up not only for himself, but others too. i keep getting this feeling of him really hating to hurt people, he feels guilt pretty quickly. and in his eyes it often happens whenever his emotions take over him, like he just isn't himself. so, he prefers to not even put himself into situations where this is a possibility, and just runs away from his feelings, as well as people who can bring that emotional side out in him. i can see he can probably get more emotionally attached than he'd want to, and that can scare him off. he doesn't like people thinking he's dependant on them.

there definitely is an arrogant quality to the way he carries himself off cam. he gives off this vibe of knowing how good he is, and people can quickly perceive that as being conceited and full of himself, especially if they feel threatened by that confidence. however, much of that is just fierce self awareness. he holds himself up to insanely high standards, and can feel overwhelmingly insecure if he doesn't meet them.

if you aren't of any use to him, it's unlikely niki will entertain your attendance for very long. as previously said, he carefully selects who he gives his time and energy to, and much of this is based on what that certain connection can do for him. he's just very self-centered, which can easily make people feel like he doesn't give a damn about anyone, and sometimes even hurt or disappointment them. he seems to have this mentality of "we all live and die alone anyway" so he'd prefer to nurture and take care of his own self rather than putting much effort into others. he goes through life thinking we all have to be more selfish in order to succeed. "no one is going to live life for me, so i might as well do it for myself." is what i hear.

[hercynianforest]

Reasons why Mileven drama/breakup and Byler endgame in ST5 are unlikely

Looking at the whole show, we can see two constants regarding these relationships:

-Mike and El keep overcoming external and internal obstacles, and always end up together again

-Will's homosexuality is hinted at from the start, as well as his deep feelings for Mike.

Regarding the latter, this creates the expectation to have Will accept his own feelings and then his friends do the same.

In S4, it's clear that we got the first. Will's monologue didn't achieve the coming out, but he did express his love for Mike, albeit disguising it as El's feelings. He basically sacrificed himself in order to support Mike, who in turn was able to support El, who then managed to (barely) save Max.

Based on that, I think we have two possible scenarios for S5:

-Will won't confess his love to Mike openly. He has accepted that Mike and El love each other, and we see him having moved on from this right from the beginning of the season. His coming out as gay will still happen though, and Mike's acceptance of that will be crucial for Will.

-Will will confess to Mike that he's in love with him - I'm thinking of the close-up of his face during Mike's monologue in S4, when he says "And somehow I thought telling you how I felt would make that day hurt more." Will clearly feels the same way, but maybe hearing Mike confess this to El gives him the courage to confess it to Mike as well.

No matter which scenario we'll get, I think the focus will be on Mike's acceptance of Will's homosexuality, on him being different, but Mike making him feel better for it. It's possible that Mike might mess it up, not knowing what to say, but no doubt he will be accepting of Will's sexuality, and I think this will give power to Will to be freely himself (and maybe kick some butt).

However, from a storytelling perspective, I really don't see Mike suddenly realising he loves Will and not El. It would be extremely bad writing, because they have been telling us that Mike and El love each other since they first met in S1.

If they had not planned for them to be endgame, they would have sunken the ship already. There were plenty of opportunities. But what we got instead were relationship issues and them being able to work through these issues.

Mike not being very articulate at telling El how he feels about her has also been a constant since S1. However, this finally got resolved at the end of S4.

That's why I think that ST5 will start of with a strenghtened bond between them and their love won't be tested any more.

Mike finally told her how much he loves her, El has no more reason to doubt him. Mike doing a 180 degree turn and realising he lied to El would be equal to creating a new character for Mike. It also would spit on everything they took the pain to show us of Mike and El's love during the whole show.

From a storytelling perspective, this would be total self-sabotage. Why waste a whole series to tell viewers that two characters are in love and then saying "Surprise! It was a lie all along!"? What would be achieved by that?

If it had been their goal to show us that romantic feelings can change, then they would have had to tell a completely different story and would have sowed the seeds for doubt from the very beginning. Instead we got nothing but soulmatism for Mike and Eleven (including their relationship issues, because they overcame those).

Also, remember that this story is about defeating the big evil with love. El is the super-hero. Destroying her biggest source of power (love) would make it impossible for her to win against anyone.

Apart from all this, considering everything that needs to be wrapped up in S5, there simply is not enough time to have Will confess to Mike, Mike figuring out his new feelings, getting up the courage to tell El, the drama of breaking up the main ship of the show, have El get over it, establish Mike and Will as a couple, get all their friends' support, AND defeat Henry.

This is why they resolved Mike and El's conflict in S4. Because there won't even be time for their established relationship to have any drama. This is why they already showed us that Will accepts and supports Mike and El's love, so the love triangle situation has been resolved as well.

The only thing left to resolve is Will's coming out to his friends, which doesn't need to take up a lot of time. It could be one or two scenes.

[neoninky]

So today I was binging Bridgerton cuz apparently I’m on a romantic drama spiral 😂 good ol stuffy British romances about rich people and their non-relatable problems 👍

Which has lead me to head canons surrounding a certain group of dashing young men who are basically from a historical drama…

Yes that’s right:

Diasomnia Courtship Head Canons

Featuring Lilia’s three sons (no this is not how I’m going to write them in my story-oh who am I kidding, yes it is 😂)

Tagging peeps for shenanigans: @nuitthegoddess @wysteriadelights @iscarlettappel @foxwitchaine @1ndigowitch @victoria1676

Malleus: The prince and soon-to-be king of Briar Valley, he is naturally expected to find himself a queen and future mother to his heirs. So courtship isn't something that comes as a surprise to him. In fact, it's something he was prepared for since he became old enough to understand what courtship and marriage even were.

For Malleus, this can go one of two ways: 1) if he's being forced to meet and court a some daughter of a noble family that he's not interested in, he'll be…avoidant. In other words, he out poofs away in firefly dust. Once the guards, or Silver and Sebek, OR Lilia, finally hunt him down and force him to show up, Malleus is polite. He goes through all the motions and acts like the perfect gentleman, but anyone who knows him well can see the distant, far-off look of escapism in his eyes.

OR 2) he's not only interested, he is INVESTED. Hoo boy, good luck stopping him from trying to be the only man on this girl's radar. Not only does he perform all the expected etiquette perfectly, Malleus Draconia is the epitome of "down bad". What's her favorite color? Favorite flowers? Does she like music? What's her favorite food??? This man will discover and procure all of it for her faster than lightning. Seven help him if she is (for some reason) not impressed, he'll be crushed. Seven help him if she is impressed and - dare it be so - shows appreciation and affection in return. Smitten doesn't even skim the surface, oof. Malleus Draconia needs to marry her now. His crew will have their hands full trying to help the love-struck royal not come on too strong (too late probably) or rush things too quickly. Either way, once his mind is made up, Malleus only has eyes for his queen.

Silver: Being a human raised primarily around fae folk or even half-fae folk, Silver is familiar with the range of courting rituals that various fae have performed over the years. Human courtship, on the other hand, well…he's a bit lost if not old-fashioned in that department. Mostly because of his lack of human interaction, but also because his father is Lilia. Self explanatory. He doesn't have a preference on fae women vs human/other women, though he understands that fae live far longer than humans so that might complicate things. Regardless, Silver is clumsy when wooing women (or anyone he might be interested in). He has the heart of the very best-boi boy but he can be a bit shy with showing/voicing his feelings at first.

The majority of his life has been dedicated to becoming a worthy knight for Malleus, though his school days allowed him some leisure and fun in between his training. Even so, Silver's bravery and tenacity in battle doesn't translate into romance. In fact, he often suffers from cold feet when faced with a potential crush/love interest. Silver logically knows certain things he can do to show his affection on paper. In action, however, he may need some help practice. Don't even get him started on the anxiety his sleep condition brings him. He gets so nervous about suddenly passing out in front of the girl he wants to romance that it will sometimes make him literally sick (poor guy). Once he FINALLY gets over his nerves and takes action, Silver can make his feelings known. It may be awkward but you won't find another more genuine confession from a guy who looked like he walked out of a fairy tale. Also don't be surprised if an army of woodland creatures was recruited to help out.

If rejected, Silver is nothing if not a man of honor. He sees no point in hounding a woman who isn't interested in him, no matter how much it hurts. If his feelings are reciprocated, the poor man might pass out from joy. If he prepares correctly, Silver drinks enough coffee to keep that from happening. Silver will then exhale in immense relief ask his beloved for an even more romantic date, which he spent at least three days planning out with the help of the other Diasomnia bois. Victory achieved.

Sebek: While Malleus is enthusiastic and full throttle and Silver is charmingly shy/awkward and slow to act, Sebek is somewhere in the middle. This man is and always has been very disciplined in all endeavors. For him, romance will be no different. Sebek Zigvolt has trained since childhood to be Malleus' knight. This is his greatest goal and ambition. Someday his lord will marry and have children, precious little princes and princesses! Naturally, their security and well-being are Sebek's top priority!! As such romance has been put on the back burner through the majority of Sebek's teen years.

Once Sebek sets his sights on courtship and romance, he will not settle for just anyone, no sir. He is a man with taste and standards. You know those girls who write down the traits of their ideal husbands in a list? Sebek is the male equivalent of that. It's not as shallow as it sounds, Sebek just knows what he wants. Granted he started the list when he was about 14 years old cough, so some things do change as he matures. Even so, Sebek is - like Silver - old-fashioned in romance. He knows all the moves: bringing her flowers on the first date, taking her on romantic moonlit walks while also respecting her boundaries and fighting off any hooligans that may threaten her dignity, getting her father's approval, the whole nine yards!

And boy is he prepared. He's actually quite proud - if not smug - of how much research he's put into properly courting a lady. His grandfather made sure to leave books out for him when he was young so of course he grew into an avid reader. Definitely learned a thing or two from romance novels but will not admit it out loud.

Either way, once Sebek finds his dream girl, he already has a strategy all mapped out. If one plan doesn't work, he's got backup plans. If things are going well, Sebek will not rush the courtship, but he will absolutely have the proposal and the wedding (hell, probably the honeymoon too dayum) all planned out in his head. If he somehow misses a detail, his mother and older sister will have at least five to ten different options at the ready to offer him and his lady love.

If for some reason Sebek's affections are rejected, he will put on a strong front…until he gets home/back to Malleus's castle and then he'll just fall to pieces. He's gonna need a grieving period, bless his heart. He will more than likely be a complete wreck until he gets the heartache completely out of his system.

If all goes well and Sebek does successfully get with his dream lady love, pssssh well OF COURSE he did! Was there ever any doubt?! Foolish humans, of course not! (Lies, Sebek definitely has moments of doubt that he covers up with loud outbursts and vigorous training to the point of exhaustion. Thank Seven that it did work out though, whew.)

BONUS:

Chaos ensues any time Lilia tries to make a meal to welcome his new 'daughters' to the family. The boys immediately go into covert ops to stop him from getting into the kitchen, sometimes asking their girlfriends/wives to help distract him or getting Lilia started on a story tangent about his travels, his glory days as a general, anything to keep him talking.

[oinkoink321]

Blue lock boys watching a romance K-drama with you!

Bllk boys x Fem!reader 

Featuring: Itoshi Rin, Chigiri Hyoma, Yukimiya Kenyu, Bachira Meguru, Nagi Seishirou, and Hiori Yo!

Warnings: nothing, maybe a bit of angst (on hiori’s part) but don’t worry it’ll get better :) However,  this is like my 2nd time writing and posting, so some of the characters might be ooc. If there’s any mistakes, feel free to let me know :) Anyways, enjoy! 

—————————————————————

Rin Itoshi 💙

Honestly at first he acts like he isn’t interested and thinks it’s the stupidest thing ever. Like he’ll literally be like “Ew why do you watch this stuff, it’s so corny” (and lukewarm). He usually watches horror movies/shows so romance  k-dramas never really appealed to him. 

However, the more you watched them…the more interested he would get. He’s slowly but surely start to learn the story and end up watching with you, but when you tease him about it, he goes “ugh no, I don’t even care about this stupid show.” But he continues to binge it with you.

Then he also  gets upset when you watch it without him. (But he won’t ever admit that). Also, I can see him getting jealous of the main/2nd lead of the drama if you gush over them, or anyone in the show for that matter. He’d be like “if you like them so much why don’t you go to Korea and date them instead??” 💀💀

Deep down, he really does enjoy watching the show with you and he’d want to recreate some of the cute moments in the show. (He would never tell you tho). Honestly, I can see him silently fangirling when the 2 main love interest finally get together and they’re all happy. 

He also likes cuddling with you when you guys are watching, it makes him feel so safe and secure. When the main couple kisses on screen or anything, he’ll get all flustered and would want to kiss you in the moment too <3 

—————————————————————

Chigiri Hyoma 🩷

This man definitely watches k-dramas. Probably a big fan of them too. I can definitely imagine him watching them with his sister and them bonding over that.

Anyways, he probably has a cute lil movie night set up when you watch together. Like there’s snacks, a blanket, and tons of cuddling. I can also see you guys doing face masks (the skincare kind lol) while watching too. He’d also buy the skincare and makeup products they have in the show too. 

He’s also probably gonna talk to you a lot about the drama if he particularly likes it. He definitely follows the actors on insta and stalks them. (You stalk them together).  He definitely also takes tons of inspiration from the outfits, makeup, and accessories from the show, he’d probably get you both matching stuff. Or maybe similar clothes to the main couple! 

Also, if you fall for anyone in the show, he’s gonna tease you about it, he’ll be like “awww what? Am I not pretty enough for you? I can be 10x better than them.” Also, if you get flustered at something the love Interest did to the main character, he’s probably gonna do it to you one day too. 0//////0 

If something romantic happens during the show, like if the couple kisses, he’ll lean in and kiss you too. <333 anyways, he’s a 10/10 to watch kdramas with. 

—————————————————————

Yukimiya Kenyu 🧡

Honestly, he’ll definitely watch with you, but not cuz he likes it too (he does), but to learn from it. 

He’s the type of boyfriend that would want to be perfect for you, to meet your standards and well, to be your #1 (my heart ughh ). Out of all the guys,I feel like he’d be like the most like a k-drama love interest. He’s a gentleman, sweet, definitely popular with the ladies, and handsome. He definitely brags to you how you guys are basically a k-drama couple. 

Anyways, I can see him trying to learn about the drama so he can talk with you if you’re super interested in it. He’d take time to really know the story and know the characters. Like he’ll surprise you cuz he knows so much, maybe even more than you. 

If you’re gushing over any of the characters, he might start doing stuff the characters did to make you blush. Like for example, if the main couple went on a picnic, then he’ll take you on a picnic date. He’d tease you if you fall for someone in the show. He’d say something like “Ah, I see. That’s why you chose me right? Cuz I’m just like them? Hm?” (Crying rn hes so hot) 

Also, I can imagine him trying to model for Korean companies that the actors model after watching, just in case he can meet one of them! He’d also probably take inspiration from the outfits in the show like Chigiri.  You guys would definitely look like a k-drama power couple together <333

—————————————————————

Bachira Meguru💛

I can see him totally being invested! He’d be so excited to watch with you and check it out. He’s so open to watch new shows, especially if you like them! 

He’ll probably be super Interested and can’t wait to watch it with you. It’s like a little thing you guys do in your free time. He’s always so happy  to watch it with you. He would also force you to watch it with him if you guys were left on a cliff hanger. If you have work he’d go “why don’t you take a break? We can watch our show!” He probably gets you off track 💀💀

He loves cuddling and holding you closer when something cute happens and would probably be gushing with you. He’d be like “awwww baby~ they’re so cute aren’t they? Just like us ;)” 

Anyways, he probably wants to go on similar dates in the drama if he likes them. I can see him going “Ooooooh!! We should do that together one day! And that! And that! Let’s go there one day too!!” Ugh he’s so cute. 

If you fall for any of the characters he’s be all whiny and cuddle you closer. He’d also complain how he’s so much better than that specific character. He also would fangirl with you when the love interests get together! He’s so fun to watch k-dramas with <3 

—————————————————————

Nagi Seishirou🤍

He only likes it because he can relax and cuddle with you 😭😭. All he wants to do while you watch is be in your arms or vice versa. He’d probably be playing games while you watch. Like it’s all emotional and sad and all there’s his video game noise in the background. •_• 

However, he’d make it really comfortable and be chilling while you watch. Probably resting his head on your shoulder or lap. He’ll look at the TV screen every once in a while but he won’t rlly say anything. 

Overtime, just like Rin, he’ll slowly get invested too. He’s pretty chill about it though and would probably be like “oh. They got together? Cool.” If any of the characters do something embarrassing, he’d call them cringy and have second hand embarrassment. 

I can see him watching the show without you if you’re busy. When you ask him why he didn’t wait for you he’d say “it’s a hassle to go and ask you” 😭. I feel like he’d be kind of a menace and when he gets invested, it’s all he’s watching, he would most definitely watch ahead of you.

If you fall for a character he’d probably be annoyed but won’t rlly show it. He’ll start doing chores around the house or just do more for you just to show that he’s better than said character. He’ll hold you super close during a romantic scene and definitely likes watching with you. (Ugh I love him)  <333

—————————————————————

Hiori Yo 🩵

He’s probably already heard and know of K-dramas, but since his parents are strict, he’s never watched any. He’d be open to try watching them with you and be super curious about the shows too. 

Honestly right off the bat, he’s be invested and like watching with you. He’s also super fun to watch the show with. Like he’d giggle at the cute interactions of the couples, scoff if the main character makes a stupid decision, and so on. 

He really gets into the show and I can imagine him buying you guys cute merch (if there is any). He’d love going on similar dates of the couples and recreating cute moments. Or if you guys visit Korea, he’d want to go to the places in the show. 

(Okay this next part is kinda sad but-) 

I can see him being sad with you if something goes wrong in the show. Sometimes there’s moments in the show where the couple breaks up because of the parents. That’s Hiori’s worst fear. Having to loose you because of his parents. He hates the thought of it and it hurts him so much. 

However, the characters always get back together. So, if fictional characters can fight for who the love, he can too. He would literally leave his parents for because unlike them, you actually love him. He loves romantic moments in the show, when one of the character A says how much they’re in love with character B and just stare at them with so much love. Ugh, it perfectly describes how he feels for you, he loves you so so much. (He’s so adorable) <33333

—————————————————————

[callsigns-haze]

Out of All: Chp 13 (the final chapter)

Jake Seresin x OC! Anna Bradshaw

Brothers' Best Friend Series! Follow along as these characters navigate the treacherous waters of love, loyalty, and desire, all while facing the ultimate taboo: falling for your sibling's best friend. From heart-pounding moments to steamy encounters, this series is a rollercoaster of emotions that will keep you hooked until the very end. Brace yourself for intense romantic tension, sizzling chemistry, and enough drama to keep you guessing. Are you ready to embark on this captivating journey?

This chapter includes explicit sexual content with detailed descriptions of sexual activity and intimacy between characters. Scenes depict physical intimacy, including kissing, touching, and biting, with characters described in states of undress. Emotional intensity is explored, encompassing themes of longing, desire, and vulnerability, with brief references to past trauma. Characters may be shown consuming alcoholic beverages, and mature themes such as casual relationships

Waking up in your own home, first time ever is a quite strange but incomparable experience. You can do anything, and you choose to lay and stare. Staring at the blank ceiling, before you open up the small window, allowing the sun to illuminate the small room of the apartment.

As you pull the blinds up, the sun first falls upon the tiny little desk, with the beautiful June roses upon it. The tiny little vase is full of them, the fresh smell spreads its spell across the room as you walk in that one oversized t-shirt. It's been a while, a while it's putting it nicely.

You're now four months pregnant. You've been living away from Bradley for a good two and a half months but that didn't mean the two of you didn't talk. You did just never the same way as before. And for Jake, you really didn't know what was going on between the two of you anymore.

The most you have ever seen either Bradley or Jake is at the hard deck. For now you refused to tell either of them where you are staying because the incident in the locker room turned out not to be the only one. They had a bigger incident on the tarmac… Before their punishment was set out, there was a hospital trip you had to attend which drove you insane. This is a fight between a thirty year old brother fighting against the twenty eight year old father of their niece or nephew.

You told both of that day that this wasn't going to work in such a way. You knew that messing around with your brother's wingman was dangerous but it started ruining their connection. And you weren't going to be the reason for that if you stepped away.

So, basically for the last few weeks you've met them at the hard deck; everyone could still sense the tension between the two men but the storm between the two was surely beginning to calm at shore. For your mental support you've always brought along Caila, it helped but she seemed to find her own reason to go. Bob. Somehow, the two of them…where bonding? You see, Bob is a tiny shy butterfly and Caila, well putting it nicely is the most stubborn person in the world.

You found it cute how Bob tried to make a good impression on her but the stubborn best friend you've got, didn't ignore it just simply didn't notice… Yes she's blind for feelings.

You never thought you'd be happy to say this but you're happy that somehow your misery is bringing a good and positive outcome upon your friend, you were all ride or die for it.

But today is none of the hard deck crap, or a day filled with stupid boys. Today was your day, but also it wasn't that great. June thirteenth. It's a day that, quite haunts your family. Twenty five years back, exactly on this day your father died in a severe ejection incident. You never got the chance to meet your father, but saw the true outcome of him in Bradley and stories that people told you.

Each year, you'd slope around and mourn the day but not today. Today was finally your day. Today you change June 13th history. Today is the day you'll find out the gender of your baby. You'll finally get to see what member of the family you'll have in five months time. But that's not the only excitement you have made for today, today you'll release the first teaser songs to your first ever album.

Today you were going down in history, and it'll for sure be a good one.

---

Truly when Jake was waking up he didn't know what to feel, today was the gender reveal of his baby yet he wasn't going to be there. This was due to the big work meeting he had exactly at the same time as the appointment and he also felt guilty, you didn't want to see him especially after that chick incident at the bar.

Ever since he got things worse between himself and Bradley, you started to ignore him. You barely ever texted, well not as much as you used to. The two of you didn't continue your dates but that's where the blame is on him.

He felt that you didn't want to interact with him as much as he believed and decided to take a step back to even things out, but that must have hurt you even more and caused you to back off. He knows this is such a cliché, but you don't know what you have till it's gone away. And if he could take away any pain but he still lies beside an empty space inside the bed he made. Usually he wouldn't mind but he realised he was hurting you.

He's sorry because he put you through hell, you tried to love him while he hated himself. He knows it's too late for apologies, for all of the mistakes that he didn't see; the blame's on him.

His body was bent over to the right against his locker. Hie eyes lay deep and their glimmer was nowhere to be seen due to the intensity of sadness that flooded him.

His shirt was out of his jeans in the side while he stared at the first ultrasound of your shared child. His muscles flexed as he exhaled. His eyes stiffened and a scowl came to his face.

"What do you want this time, Bradshaw? Huh! Wanna slam my head against this locker or kick me down into the tarmac?! Go ahead!" His voice was overwhelmed with fury and his pain tightened lips were getting pale.

"Out of all, why my sister?" Jake looked at him. He looked at him with a frown that was mingled through confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Why her?"

Jake didn't know the proper answer. Truly when he saw you at that bar for the very first time he knew his life has changed for the better, seeing you even once was enough. He used to cancel plans the second you called. Open the door in case you knocked. He was in love.

"Because…I love her."

Bradley for the first time in weeks laid his eyes upon his wingman and inspected him. God he hated the thought of that blonde slutty Texans arms around his tiny innocent sister but he had no option did he. He had no control over your story, but Jake was let onto your life story but it was your decision what path you'll take.

"Then why you here instead of being with her? I hate you soo much Seresin. Don't think I don't but she's about to find out the gender of your child and you're too scared to text her!?"

Right now, Bradley wasn't playing the big brother of his little sister that he would go through hell or high water for. He wasn't playing the protector of the traumatized little girl that you were. He was playing the best friend.

"She won't want me anymore."

"One thought against another."

--

As you sit alone in the ultrasound room, a mixture of nerves and excitement fills the air around you. You watch intently as the nurse applies the gel and begins to move the ultrasound wand over your belly. With each passing moment, your heart beats a little faster, anticipation building as you wait to catch a glimpse of your unborn baby.

As the image starts to form on the screen, your breath catches in your throat. The nurse smiles warmly and points to the screen, "There it is," she says gently, "Would you like to know the gender?"

You nod eagerly, your eyes fixed on the monitor. A rush of emotions floods over you as you hear the nurse reveal the news. Tears of joy well up in your eyes as you realize you're about to embark on this incredible journey of motherhood.

In that quiet room, alone with your unborn child, you feel a profound sense of connection and love. Despite any challenges you've faced in the past, you know that this little life growing inside you is a blessing, a beacon of hope for the future. And as you wipe away your tears, you whisper softly to your baby, promising to love and cherish them always.

After eagerly waiting on the chair, you receive the news that you are expecting a little baby girl. Excitement bubbles within you as you envision the adventures and moments you'll share with your daughter. It's a beautiful revelation, filling you with a sense of wonder and anticipation for the life that lies ahead. Holding onto that image of your precious baby girl, you feel an overwhelming surge of love and protectiveness already blossoming within you.

The nurse asks if you'd like any of the ultrasound pictures for yourself and others, to which you eagerly agree. With a grateful smile, you accept the offer, knowing that these images will become cherished keepsakes, capturing the very first glimpses of your daughter. You imagine sharing these precious moments with loved ones, their excitement and joy mirroring your own. As the nurse prints out the pictures, you hold them close, feeling a deep sense of connection to the little life growing inside you. These images, small as they may be, already hold a world of meaning, symbolizing the boundless love and anticipation you have for your baby girl.

As you leave the office and finally get to your car, a rush of emotions overwhelms you. Holding onto the ultrasound pictures, you feel an immense sense of gratitude and excitement for the journey ahead as a mother. But amidst the joy of this precious moment, another wave of anticipation washes over you.

With trembling fingers, you pull out your phone, knowing that today marks not only the announcement of your baby girl but also a milestone in your career as a singer. With a deep breath, you open Instagram and share the news with your fans and followers.

"After a journey filled with challenges and growth, I'm thrilled to share that my new album is finally here! 🎶 This project has been a labor of love, reflecting the highs and lows of my life's experiences. I poured my heart and soul into these songs, and I hope they resonate with you as much as they do with me. Thank you for sticking by me through it all. Let's embark on this new chapter together. #NewAlbum #ComingSoon #MusicIsLife"

As you hit the "post" button, a sense of fulfilment washes over you. Today marks the beginning of two incredible journeys, and you couldn't be more grateful for the love and support surrounding you. With a smile on your face and a heart full of hope, you start the car, ready to embrace whatever the future holds.

After posting the news, you head to the beach, the rhythmic sound of the waves providing a soothing backdrop to your thoughts. As you stroll along the shore, you're keenly aware of the conversation that awaits with the father of your baby. He knew you were pregnant but had expressed curiosity about the gender. With each step, you gather your thoughts, preparing yourself for this important discussion.

---

Jake's heart weighed heavy as he approached you on the beach, knowing he had caused you pain. The sky was overcast, mirroring the turmoil within him, and the waves crashed against the shore with a relentless rhythm, echoing the pounding of his heart. Despite the fear of your anger and disappointment, he couldn't stay away. Each step he took left a deeper imprint in the wet sand, and with every step, his resolve grew stronger, fueled by the love he still held for you.

As he drew near, he saw the storm of emotions brewing in your eyes, a reflection of the hurt he had inflicted. The wind tousled your hair, and you hugged your arms to your chest, a protective barrier against the chill in the air and the coldness between you. Yet, he couldn't delay any longer. Taking a deep breath, he reached out to gently touch your arm, his fingers trembling slightly as they brushed your skin, seeking solace in your presence.

You turned to face him, your expression a mixture of disbelief and guardedness. Your eyes, usually so warm and inviting, were now tinged with hurt and scepticism. But before you could utter a word, Jake closed the distance between you and pressed his lips softly against yours, a silent plea for forgiveness. The kiss was tender, filled with unspoken apologies and desperate hope, a fragile bridge trying to span the chasm that had grown between you.

As he pulled away, he looked into your eyes, his own filled with remorse and longing. "I know I've hurt you," he began, his voice raw with emotion, cracking under the weight of his guilt. He paused, struggling to find the right words, his throat tight. "But I can't shake this feeling, this need to make things right. I love you, Chick, more than anything. And I want to be there for you, for us, especially now that I know our baby is going to be a girl."

His words hung in the air, heavy with the weight of his confession. He took your hands in his, his grip firm yet gentle, as if afraid you might slip away. "I was a fool," he continued, his eyes searching yours for a glimmer of hope. "I let my fears and insecurities get the better of me. I pushed you away when all I ever wanted was to keep you close. I see that now, and it tears me apart knowing the pain I've caused."

He glanced down, unable to bear the intensity of your gaze, the tide of his emotions threatening to overwhelm him. "Every moment without you has been a reminder of what I've lost," he whispered, his voice barely audible over the sound of the waves. "But when I found out about our daughter, something inside me changed. I realized that I want to be the man you need, the father she deserves."

Jake looked up, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. "Please, give me a chance to prove myself," he implored, his voice steadying with determination. "Let me show you that I can be better, that I can love you the way you deserve to be loved. I want to be there for every step of this journey, for you, for our little girl."

He squeezed your hands gently, his touch a silent promise of his commitment. "I know I have a long way to go to earn your trust again," he admitted, "but I'm willing to do whatever it takes. Just tell me what you need, and I'll be there. Always."

His words, filled with genuine remorse and a heartfelt plea for redemption, lingered in the air, a fragile hope that perhaps, just perhaps, you could find it in your heart to forgive him.

A/n: So this is where our series end! I'm going to post some parts on what happened to them in the future and with this comes a big step for me. I'm probably not going to write much more in the tgm fandom, I loved writing for you guys but we all know how downhill things went around here, I'll probably still post one-shots but this is the end of the major series!

tagging:

@callsign-magnolia

@callsign-dexter

@horseslovers2016

@rosiahills22

@djs8891

@hookslove1592

@emma8895eb

@hardballoonlove

@kmc1989

@dempy

@senawashere

@buckysteveloki-me

@sweetwhispersofchaos

@itsmytimetoodream

@jessicab1991

@ahh-chickens

@dingochef

@dizzybee03

@mrsevans90

@lynnevanss

@drakelover78

@smoothdogsgirl

[girlsloveupdates]

Hi, I just started watching GL, have only watched GAP. Can you recommend anything? I'd really appreciate it.

Hello! Although there are not that many right now, I will include a list of shows that have already aired that you can watch. Make sure you also see this list to keep updated on which GL will be coming out soon — because there will be a lot! 2024 is the year, trust me! The GL renaissance is upon us. But while we wait here’s some others:

Main characters/main couple:

- She Makes My Heart Flutter (2022)

I love this one. Basically all the characters are lesbians and in a friendship group. It’s so sweet and endearing and I really recommend it! Kinda short but so sweet. One of my favourites for sure <3

- She Loves To Cook and She Loves to Eat (2022)

The characters are a perfect match. This show will make your heart warm and you will say ‘Me and who’ every five seconds.

- Sleep with Me (2022)

The chemistry is so good. It feels so raw and real. Sexuality isn’t really an issue at all. I really enjoyed watching, my heart 🥹

- Out of Breath (2019)

Both painful and heartwarming, it can be relatable to viewers who have experienced break-ups and finding new love. This series is fun and I like it.

- Couple of Mirrors (2021)

Because of censorship, their relationship isn’t ~specifically stated but they are canonically together by the person who created them. I mean, they literally live together, sleep in the same bed, raise a child together etc. The vibes are gayyyy, it’s safe to say they have romantic feelings for each other. If you love action and badass women, this is for you!

- Legend of Yunze (2022)

Lovers reunite after centuries apart. It’s so beautiful and I rewatch this quite a lot.

- Girlfriend Project Day 1 (2022)

Super short, but still really cute. The characters are forced to work together and things ensue. I wish they’d make more episodes 🥹

- Show Me Love (2023)

It’s not made/edited the best but it’s still cute and easy to watch, nice elements of comedy :D

!!!!! Here is a link to other mini web dramas !!!!!

https://legendofyunze.carrd.co

Side characters/side couple:

- Bad Buddy (2021)

My sweetest Ink and Pa. I love them very much :) The actresses have their own GL together called ‘23.5’ which will air next year!

+ they also feature in Zero Photography

- Nevertheless (2021)

Watch this for Soljiwan, Nabi, and Han Sohee. The straight couples are questionable, but Sol & Jiwan, although a side couple, have the most beautiful story and amazing chemistry. 🥰

- Friend Zone S2 (2021)

Cris and Amm are a beautiful couple. They help each other with their situations, maybe they’re not perfect, but they are everything :D

Special mentions:

- Fragrance of the First Flower (2021)

- Love of Secret (2022)

- Wedding Plan (2023)

- Sweet Kaaram Coffee (2023)

I’ve definitely missed ones but these are just the ones I could think of off the top of my head. The only main GL airing right now is Lucky My Love & Love Senior!

[bring-cringe-back]

Okay I might just be reading too much into this. But while I was watching the episode *cough cough* procrastinating *cough cough I realised that they don't show how the Doctor and Ruby got there.

And I know that it's probably just meant to be vaguely like 'they just went for fun'.

BUT this is the third episode in a row where we haven't seen them arrive. And for 73 yards it was clearly a doctor who episode when it started but it immediately gets rid of the doctor. ( I know that for 73 yards and for dot and bubble it was because Ncuti Gatwa was filming other stuff but let me cook) In Dot and Bubble you could effectively be forgiven for assuming that it was a random Black Mirror episode or something similar until the Doctor turns up, and tbh if you were just flicking through channels and haven't been watching Doctor Who you could probably basically not know for much longer. In Rogue they are just there, except for the title screen (the same for dot and bubble) you could basically watch it as a Bridgerton episode until the Chuldur turn up.

(And there's whole other rant about how the Chuldur fits into the theory about this basically being a TV show within a TV show, I don't know the name for this theory)

But anyway these episodes are increasingly separated from the Doctor and Ruby as plot points particularly in the beginning of episodes. They are more and more like an excuse to tell the story or explore the topic that the writers want to explore. Which isn't totally different from the occasional episode of previous series, but this is a lot more in my memory at least from previous series. So it feels a lot like they are skimming over the more sci-fi doctor who elements. Which fits in in my mind to the idea that the 'One who waits' is a representation of story telling. I've seen theories that it's Ruby but she doesn't know it which makes sense, I think it would also make sense for it to be her parent(s) who left her, or alternatively just it's own thing all together. But it feels very like that bit where Amy is living a life and starts to realise it's all fake.

The narrowing down of these episodes into not showing them arriving, and at least in Rogue - I can't remember in the others - not showing them leaving the story, feels very different.

It feels more and more like story telling. They have covered fairy tales, Period pieces/Romance, Dystopia, War/SciFi, Musicals, Political Drama. They are also showing the doctor playing his role, something that we see companions doing often enough but we seldom see the doctor doing it.

In Space Babies he is scared of a new creature. In the Devil's Code he sings a song that makes little sense in the story, he doesn't question the road making noise. In Boom he's more himself but it's also the closes to his 'normal' environment. In 73 Yards they just fully remove him from the story, which I realise was done for filming requirements but would have been so interesting to see the doctor in a Political drama. In Dot and Bubble he plays the role of the outsider bringing information to those living under a Dystopia, how is he UNABLE to access the inside, sure he plays a role that's fairly similar to himself but Doctor Who is really Dystopian.

In Rogue he is becoming more and more his role, he is playing the role of a sort of Elizabeth Bennet style character, a strong romantic interest for the brooding man. Which is great, he makes fun of the genre, but he is hyper aware of the genre and still ends up in its pitfalls. He trusts a man so quickly he ends up handing over his sonic, he gets proposed to and basically immediately accepts. Now I am really hoping that Rogue gets to stay around I really liked him as a character, regardless of which theory of his identity if any are true. But the Doctors reaction to him is still a little out of character, he is feeling what he is SUPPOSED to feel and he is acting how he is SUPPOSED to act.

It just feels to me like an increasing number of these episodes are more and more story like and more and more separated from the more Doctor Who elements. And the lack of an introduction of how they get there, and the lack of them leaving in the TARDIS is so unusual to me and stands out to my brain so much.

It feels like they are removing elements that don't fit the genre. Anyway not sure if that makes any sense but I'm vibing with it.

[angelwhims]

Dramatice Lives Legacy Challenge

Do you enjoy storytelling? Do you enjoy drama? Do you enjoy a good sims legacy challenge? Do you only have the basegame?

Well worry not! I got a challenge for you! This dear simmers is The Dramatic Lives Legacy Challenge (DLL for short). This is a legacy challenge with heavy focus on storytelling each generation has a rather dramatic story to tell with some fun challenges along the story aswell!

This is a basegame legacy challenge BUT if you wish there are optional packs you can use for some generations and some optional story telling parts aswell.

Also if something isn't basegame and is a main task please tell me all main tasks should be basegame.

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Basic Rules

Keep lifespan on normal

Your sims can live where ever you please

You can cheat for the first house but after that money cheats are not allowed

Every generation should complete tasks

Your sims can be of any gender you'd like

If you play this challenge i'd love to see it, if you wanna share it with me use the hashtag #dramaticlives so i can see it!

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Generation 1| House Sim

You dreamed of being a house sim ever since you were little, it seemed like the perfect life for you. You would do anything for your family, not to mention you loved kids and taking care of the house so you're be happy everyday! You rarely have free time but when you do you love to play chess! you have that secret smart side about you!

Traits|Family Oriented, Neat, Perfectionist

Aspiration| Succesful Lineage

Career| None

Challenges|

Max the Logic,Gardening and Cooking skills

Complete Succesful Lineage aspiration

Have atleast 2 children

Have a well maintained garden

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Generation 2| Annoying Younger Sibling

As a younger sibling i you admired your older sibling so much that you wanted to be exactly like them, you wanted to do all they do, you wanted to be friends with everyone who they were friends with. This made a bit of a rift between the two of you as they got older and started getting annoyed by your behaviour, they would've locked their room door from you so you couldn't get in and yell at you to stay away whenever you got too close. Once they moved out you followed you may only have been a teenager but you couldn't keep yourself away from your sibling, They allowed you to move in with them since secretly they do love you even if you are annoying.

Traits| Active, Loyal, Clumsy

Aspiration| Bodybuilder

Career| Athlete

Challenges|

Max Handiness and Fitness skills

Complete Bodybuilder aspiration

Max the Athlete career

Have a close relationship with an older sibling

Have your second child right before becoming an elder [You're Only Allowed To Have 2 Children]

Optional|

Packs you need| Strangerville

Do Strangerville storyline

Replace Athlete career with Military

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Generation 3| Romance Sim

Your parents had you when they were already pretty old, you were sort of their suprise baby that they had been wanting for years but hadn't been able to get almost giving up until suddenly you were born, well they ended up dying when you were still young so you ended up being raised by your older sibling, although they did the bare minimum they gave you a roof over your head and food on the table nothing more. You grew up seeing other kids happy with their families and you hated it why couldn't that be you? As a teenager you ended up becoming a trouble maker and as you grew to an adult you fell into the world of crime. And You struggled to keep a relationship so you decided you wouldn't even try and became a serial cheater.

Traits| Romantic, Artlover, Noncommital

Aspiration| Serial Romantic

Career| Criminal

Challenges|

Max the Charisma,Painting and Mischief skills

Complete Serial Romantic aspiration

Max the Criminal Career

Have children with multiple different partners

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Generation 4| Musician Sim

You grew up LOUD!! Your parent wouldn't notice you unless you were loud so you grew up yelling alot, turning loud music on and whatever you could just to be as loud as you could. As an adult you were still loud! You can't stop yourself you are just a very loud person! So you became a ROCKSTAR!

Traits| Outgoing, Music Lover, Glutton

Aspiration| Musical Genious

Career| Entertainer

Challenges|

Max the Piano,Mixology and Comedy skills

Max the entertainer career (Musician path)

Have atleast 5 good friends

Have a social event atleast once a week

Adopt a child

Optional|

Packs you need| Get Together, Highschool Years

Replace Music Lover trait with either Dance Machine (Get Together), or with Party Animal (Highschool Years)

Replace one skill with the Dance skill

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Generation 5| Quiet Sim

You were adopted to your family at a young age, you don't remember much from your past but you do know it left some deep emotional scars which is why you've grown to be quite gloomy and quiet. People often tell you that your presence ruins the mood cause of your gloomy aura, so you tend to just stick with books and being alone.

Traits| Gloomy, Loner, Bookworm

Aspiration| Master Chef

Career| Culinary

Challenges|

Max the Gourmet Cooking and Writing skills

Complete Master Chef aspiration

Have 2 good friends [those are the only friends you're allowed to have]

Marry a highschool best friend

Optional|

Packs you need| Cats and Dogs, Cottage Living Highschool Years

Replace Bookworm trait with Cat/Dog Lover (Cats and Dogs) or Animal Enthusiast trait (Cottage Living)

Replace Master Chef aspiration with Friend Of The Animals aspiration

Replace Culinary career with your very own Vet Clinic

Replace Writing skill with Vetenarian skill

Replace Loner trait with Socially Awkward trait

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Generation 6| Good Sim

You were always very popular, but not only that but you were always a great person aswell! Always helping others and being friendly to everyone, you have lots and lots of friends. Eeveryone always like you straight away, although some people are jealous of you. You have a bad habit of trying to keep everyone else happy however

Traits| Good, Self-Assured, Clumsy

Aspiration| Friend Of The World

Career|Business

Challenges|

Max the Charisma,Photography and Logic skills

Complete Friend Of The World aspiration

Marry a childhood frenemy

Have one Enemy [Could Be A Work Rival]

Optional|

Packs you need| City Living, Get Famous

Replace the Business career with the Politician career

Become atleast 3-Star Celebrtity

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Generation 7| Creative Sim

You were heavily bullied for your looks your whole life, it seems like you couldn't catch a break, what is wrong with your looks? is it the birthmark? Who knows... Nobody could ever believe that you're the child of the most popular person in town, some thought you weren't attractive enough to be their child, others said the difference in personality says it all. Cause of the rudeness of other people you isolated yourself to your room, you would just paint and paint all day, your room was messy and the walls filled with beatiful artworks. As an adult you struggled to commit to relationships and jobs, you hopped from one career to another and one relationship to another.

Traits| Creative, Slob, Noncommital

Aspiration| Renaissance Sim

Career/s| Culinary, Writer, Painter

Challenges|

Max the Painting,Cooking, Violin skills

Get fired from Culinary and Writer jobs

Travel to Sylvian Glade after being fired to think while fishing [both times]( Secret world in Willow Greek)

Max the Painter Career

Have atleast 5 failed relationships

Get married young but then later divorce

Marry and find final partner as an adult

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Generation 8| Stylish Sim

Your parent always told you creativity is the most important thing in life, so you ran with it. You always loved fashion, clothing was your main way of expressing yourself, you wore the most insane outfits known to man but somehow you always looked cute regardless, Your parent spoiled you rotten cause their life along with yours was a huge mess.

Traits| Materialistic, Neat, Hot-Headed

Aspiration| Fabulously Wealthy

Challenges|

Max the Photography , Writing skills

Max Style Influencer career

Complete Fabulously Wealthy aspiration

Become Rich! [min 200k simoleons]

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Generation 9| Space Sim

You always loved space, you dreamed of going to space and being in space your whole life. Unfortunately your parent didn't like that, they always told you it was too dangerous or they'd miss you if you went so far away, but you never listened if you wanted to go to space you would go to space and nothing can stop you even the nagging of your parent. The relationship with your parent did strain a little bit cause of the arguements you would have cause of your dreams. but eventually you grew close with your parent as an adult.

Traits| Genious, Bookworm, Snob

Aspiration| Nerd Brain

Career| Astronaut

Challenges|

Max Rocket Science, Handiness skills

Max Astronaut career

Visit Forgotten Grotto (Secret world in Oasis Springs, requiers lvl 10 Handiness skill)

Marry a childhood best friend

Complete Crystals Collection

Optional|

Packs you need| Get To Work, Crystal Creations

Instead of Forgotten Grotto visit Sixam (Alien world)

Replace Astronaut career with Scientist career

Get abducted by aliens

Max Gemology skill

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Generation 10| Mystery Sim

Your parent knew everything about you, they always seemed to sneak around in your room, so you learned to hide stuff and to keep secrets very well. Your parent always tried to push you towards a sciency career path and they always lied to you about stuff but you always found out of their lies. You learned to not trust anyone at an early age cause of your parent. Once you became an adult you cut contacts with your entire family and all your friends, you changed your name and partly your looks so you wouldn't be recoqnized, almost as if you had died. You were soon scouted to become a secret agent and you accepted, this was the perfect job for you although you did struggle with trusting your co-workers at first. On your free time you tended to paint, it relaxed your mind.

Traits| Gloomy,Foodie, Loner

Aspiration| Painter Extraordinaire

Career| Secret Agent

Challenges|

Stay Single Your Whole Life

Max the Secret Agent career

Max the Logic,Painting, Charisma And Athletic Skills

Optional|

Packs you need| none

Pretend you found an abandoned baby while at work by adopting a child

Fall in love and get married after getting retired

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I've worked really hard on this challenge and its stories, i am very happy to finally share it with all of you. Have Fun Simming!! Love - AngelSimz