#then I found the forum in the server and oh boy it was so over

[rustyelias]

Chat I am experiencing many emotions about rqg right now /vpos

[fauxfickle]

Another month, another info dump of things you already know, or the search for "The Great All-American Pizza Show!"

Last time, we talked about the Citrus Heights commercial produced by Bob Wilkins Advertising Inc and it's potential showing at the Orinda Theatre. The bad news is that I don't know anyone from CA and I don't have anywhere near a big enough platform to spread the word. Was it there? Was it not? We'll never know! Good thing is that the Psychotronix Film Festival is putting on another show in May at Foothill College, also in CA.

But on to other news! I finally got a response from PBS about Ben Wattenberg's segment on PTT. They said they didn't have it so yeah...

I've been looking around for Ben Wattenberg's 1980 and PM Magazine listings on Ebay, hoping for maybe a DVD copy or something but nothing comes up. These aren't really my top priority since they aren't part of TGAAPS but it helps me from burning out looking at a million commercials

Let's move onto the real meat and potatoes, the ads themselves. Starting with the Citrus Heights commercial, I've been doing research on Bob Wilkins' ad company and you'd be surprised how scarce info is on it. His obituary states that he made ads not only for PTT, but Lay-Z-Boy as well. This newspaper from 1981 says that his agency makes over $1M annually and was doing "amazingly well" which makes it all the more stranger that there's so little documentation of it. I also found a house in Oakland, that was used by the company at some point. I won't link the house, the company is so far removed from it and I don't want the people living there to be bothered. Something funny I found while looking on other search engines for traces of BW's agency is that Bing's AI assistant literally uses my post as a source. It's surreal seeing the info I wrote be regurgitated back at me by an AI. Weird...

Now the animated ad! I'll admit, I've been slacking a bit when it comes to looking for this ad, however I found 3 people on Linkedin that worked for Colossal Pictures during the late 70s. Also found out that Adam Savage from Myth Busters worked for (C)P at some point. Hmm, having your company initials be CP wasn't the smartest move in hindsight. Maybe that's why they added the parenthesis.

Something that wasn't found by me :( was a storyboard for one of the live action commercials. From what I've heard, it was posted in the showbizpizza.com discord server and spread from there. In the bottom left it says UBC which I can't really link to anything. I thought maybe it could be a production company, or an acronym, but I've got nothing. Maybe it just says Inc. Bottom right isn't much better, it's completely illegible and the first page of the storyboard is in even worse quality. An exciting find for sure, but not one that really helps me.

Or so I thought! In the end card it says (location tag), not just "Kooser and Blossom Hill". Unlike the radio ad, nothing in here denotes any sort of specific location like having a certain guest star or cabaret act. Sure it uses the Winchester bots, Kooser bots, and Mopsey sisters but people aren't really going to pay attention to whether the backup singers are mops or crows and they probably wouldn't even notice the small diffences between the portrait bots and a cyberamic in a 60 second ad.

Here's my big theory though. Oh yeah, we're getting conspiratorial! Someone asked me about that forum post I discovered that mention a PTT jingle from 1978 - 1980. Way back in my first post, I found that this person was most likely from the Detroit area, and probably didn't see the ads that I thought at the time were only in the Bay Area and aired during early 1980. I thought that because the ads ended around spring and the first store to open in MI was around November, this person was simply misremembering the "Smile America" ads from 1982. It's been a few months, and in that time I've learned probably more than any sane person should know about this campaign, and while looking at the store lists on the Cheese-e-pedia after that person mention the post, I realized something that made me feel like a complete idiot. The first PTT to open in MI was in Westland. I looked up where that was, and low and behold, Westland is A SUBURB OF DETROIT. I felt so stupid but also really happy that this tiny detail actually meant something. My theory is that maybe, just maybe, one of, if not a few of these ads were aired outside CA with the location tags edited for each store. PTT has done that before, so I feel it's not totally out of the picture for them to have done it few years earlier. If this is true, then it expands this search from just CA to Nevada, Utah, Texas, Arizona, Ohio, Colorado, North Carolina, and of course, Michigan.

I still want to keep most my searching in the Bay area, but I think this could lead to exciting things. Or I could be delusional, who knows? Until next time!

[barbwritesstuff]

hey barb i was wondering if you had any advice on how to start out with writing an if more publicly? like where to post when absolutely no one knows of it, how to get people to notice and give it a try, how to find the right audience etc

Oh boy.

I'm not sure what to tell you, anon. I wish I had better advice. All I can tell you is what I did/am doing and hope that gives you some insight.

I started Blood Moon in October 2020 because I was feeling lonely and insecure and wanted to do something completely different with my writing. I wrote the first three chapters, put them on Dashingdon, and made a post about it on the Choicescript Forum and on Tumblr a few months later.

I updated the game every month for two years and shared it for free.

I now have just over 3k followers on tumblr which is incredible. It's more followers than I've ever had on any social media. A lot of people send me fun things to reblog and positive messages. I also get messages from the Choicescript Forum.

This network of people helped me playtest Blood Moon and gave me the support and encouragement I needed while writing.

I don't know if a lot of people will buy or play Blood Moon when it comes out. I hope so. I think Blood Moon is an awesome game. I'm really proud of it. But publishing is a brutal business and my writing hasn't sold well in the past, so while I'm still hopeful, I'm keeping my expectations fairly low.

Other interactive fiction authors have managed to get far bigger followings than I in far less time. Some run Patreon accounts which is never something I felt confident enough to try. I still have a lot of self esteem issues when it comes to myself and my writing, though I am working on that and trying to get better. I do have a KoFi page and usually get about $30 a month via that, which is incredible. Those donations helped me cover the costs of hiring an artist for Blood Moon, and has been another avenue of support. I'm really thankful for that.

And... that's it. That's my Interactive Fiction career thus far.

I hope that gives you some helpful insights, anon. Writing Interactive Fiction has been really good for me. It's helped me grow as a writer, and build my self confidence. It's been fun too. I genuinely enjoy all the extra plotting that goes into constructing a branching story.

I hope you write your story and that you have fun doing it. I also hope you can find a community of readers to help support you. I know sharing your work publicly for the first time can be really scary. When I posted Blood Moon I was terrified. The first time someone found an error I freaked out (I distinctly remember saying 'this is my nightmare' in a discord server at the time... over one error... which seems ridiculously dramatic now but felt very true at the time). But, slowly, I've got more comfortable and happier with sharing myself and my writing.

It's a journey, and everyone's journey is different. Don't compare yourself to others. Have fun. Write what you love. And, never forget, one error isn't the end of the world.

💙

[secretgamergirl]

A Little Horrifying Primer on Transphobes

Some time ago, I put together a Little Fact Checking Primer on Trans People, as a basic resource for disabusing people of some of the many completely ridiculous yet absurdly widespread beliefs about trans people that simply have no basis whatsoever in reality. And wouldn’t you know it, every single lie exposed in that primer is not only still widely believed, but is presently being used as a basis to sign some absolutely horrific human rights abuses into law. So it’s high time I follow that up, in this case focused more on who keeps actively spreading these lies and why. I’m going to try and keep things as light as I can here, but we’re going to be looking at the most monstrous side of human nature, so apologies in advance if this is a dark read.

First, let me just note that there are two things I don’t plan to do in this piece. I’m not going to waste time debunking the arguments of the people I’m highlighting (much of this is already covered in my earlier primer, others have done the work in cases where I haven’t, and frankly these people’s claims should be self-evidently utter nonsense to begin with). I am also going to be very selective in what I link to, or even share related images of, as I would frankly not like to fill a post on a blog I generally try to keep safe for all audiences with media directly dealing with, for instance, child sexual assault, and much of the relevant information also involves stochastic terrorism against innocent people, and I would prefer not to throw more fuel onto such fires.

Transphobes lie constantly, about everything.

To some degree this is obvious. We’re talking about people who scaremonger about the possibilities of trans women dominating competitive sports and assaulting people in restrooms, despite the status quo already reflecting the conditions they insist would make these inevitibilities for decades and centuries respectively, and their grim visions never once having come to pass, and also constantly insisting that the woman in the photo below is actually a man, going further to say this is evident to anyone giving her the merest glance.

It goes beyond that though. There’s at least a little plausible deniablity in claims like this, or that “science is on their side” if they were simply uninformed about the world they live in, never actually looking into what laws exist, what science actually says, and never actually meeting a trans person or even seeing a picture of one of us. I’m talking really bold lies here. Like wholecloth fabricating a story that a convicted murder was trans, including anecdotes about wigs dresses and a planned name change, in a major newspaper. Or to cite an old favorite of mine, the time a pack of bigots walked up to a crowd of people peacefully picketing a transphobic legal proposal, started roughing them up and taking closeup photos of members of the crowd to stalk online when they got home, got sufficiently riled up for one to straight up assault an innocent person half her size, filmed the whole thing, uploaded it to youtube, and used stills of that assault as acomanying photos when they went home to write articles about the assailant being a “grandmother” attacked by rowdy trans women. And yes, they did monkey’s paw my wish to see that specific image on newspapers. Interesting side note, when it came to real public light that J.K. Rowling endorsed this sort of hatred, it was because she accidentally pasted some profanity laden rambling about how the imagined moral character of the other party in that incident, years after the fact, into a post praising a child’s fan art of her work.

To be a little less niche, transphobes can’t get enough of spreading the lie that the young fellow in this photo is a girl. Specifically a trans girl, providing proof that all their scaremongering about the dastardly threat of trans girls in competitive sports has finally come to pass.

To be fully clear, that’s a man (or a boy if you want to split hairs about him being 17 in that photo). Mack Beggs. A rather insidious choice for this sort of story, considering the actual context for that photo. See, Beggs attended high school in Texas, during a (still ongoing as I write this) period wherein that particular state had caved to this exact sort of propaganda, and in order to head off a wholly imagined wave of trans girls competing on girls’ sports teams, and enacted a law mandating that in all such competitions must compete under whatever gender is stated on their birth certificates. And as it happens, the first, and to my knowledge ONLY time this has come up was with Beggs here, who again, is a man, as no one with a grip on reality could argue against, has “female” on his birth certificate. Which is another way of saying he is a trans man. The guys in the same boat as trans women who we talk about a whole hell of a lot less because their existence is extremely inconvenient to the majority of transphobic propaganda. Case in point. And this is all information it is really impossible to come across if you’re coming across this photo in any sort of respectable source. Take this story, which is as unambiguous about this as you can get. And yet, in the very comments section of that story, there they are. Carrying on like this story about a trans guy, forced by a transphobic law to compete as a girl, which he absolutely did not want, and received horrific threats over, using phrases like “female to male” and bringing up that he was assigned female at birth and is on testosterone-based HRT, is about a trans woman cheating the system. Or to quote word for word, “Now also transgender female want to be male also compete in female sport. biological born“ That’s not “being confused,” that’s standing next to you in a white desert and complaining about being adrift in a black ocean, bald-faced, not even trying to be convincing just make a power play, lying through one’s teeth.

I could spend this whole article on just this point. Lying about who they are, various people’s falsified credentials, whole websites full of “anonymous parents of children who think they’re trans” turning out to be one single woman documenting the abuse of her very much trans son, or of course the people behind the whole “bathroom bill” panic candidly admitting it was all based on utter fiction. I do have other points to cover though.

Transphobes are firmly entrenched in the media.

It is extremely difficult to find oneself in a position of having to explain to people that a particular group of people is effectively in control of press outlets, as that is rather classically a claim conspiracy theorists absolutely love to toss around at various marginalized groups (including trans people hilariously enough, but of course the most common and lingering version of this is the antisemitic variant). I really can’t get around it here though. Specifically in the U.K., you honestly can say that transphobes control the media. I already touched on this with the assault case I mentioned above and the fabricated story about the murderer, but this is a pretty well-documented situation. I mean, even The Guardian calls out The Guardian on this, and that’s the outlet that gets the most attention because it’s the one with the most otherwise respected name, but every paper in the country has been running transphobic propaganda pieces on a weekly if not daily basis for years now, and while they do get reprimanded by watchdog groups and have mass walk-outs over the worst of it, it’s not like there’s some governing body with the authority to step in about it. Meanwhile the BBC is constantly inviting diehard zealots like Graham Linehan to news programs where he compares being trans to being a nazi, and hosting debates where someone just sits down and repeatedly chants the word “penis” at a trans woman.

Things are better in the rest of the world, but we still have right-wing creeps like Jesse Singal both writing horrific propaganda pieces (we’ll get back to that one) and blackballing trans writers out of covering trans issues ourselves (and personally stalking the hell out of those of us who try). We’ve got our Joe Rogans and Tucker Carlsons out there (no way in hell I’m linking videos here, have a real information link and a still).

The line between diehard transphobes and straight-up nazis basically does not exist.

What even is there to say here? You can easily poke around havens for nazi activity for yourself and compare the particular unique vocabulary used there to the primary bastion of anti-trans hate speech on the internet (the “feminism” section of what was originally a site for parenting tips before violent fascists took the forums over) or just peruse the follows of the thousands of people I’ve blocked on social media and see if you can sort out a clear division in the networks of channers with frog avatars and the accounts with names like GoodieXXrealwoman, or you can read up on Gab and Spinster, the two twitter alternatives that are just different portals to the same server, set up by the same guy. Maybe do some research into “the LGB Alliance,” or WoLF but any way you slice it the only real difference to be found is the general purpose nazis take a little time off now and then to watch borderline pedophilic anime and the really dedicated transphobes think to use language that sounds vaguely well-educated and left-leaning. I mean, this came from the “feminist” side of the fence:

And not to belabor the point here, but the ones claiming to be a bunch of “feminist mums” sure do let the mask slip any time they’re confronted with the fact that “women” includes black women, and oh just have a whole thread about all the weird conspiratory theories these people have about how trans people’s whole existence is some sort of Jewish plot for world domination. I swear a few months ago they were all passing around a story about some bank having an above average number of trans employees and they were all just “and we all know who controls the banks, right?” about it.

Transphobes endorse an awful lot of people who are openly pro-pedophila.

This is the part where I am really loath to link the many many specific examples I have on hand. Or to talk about this at all for reasons of good taste. Or, for that matter, to talk about this in a tumblr post when there’s an ongoing problem of people with backgrounds strongly tied to this site making baseless accusations of pedophilia against every queer person they can find, so let me be very clear just what I’m talking about while avoiding anything too graphic.

That’s James Cantor. Transphobes love him for being one of the closest things they have to a scientist on their side. And I am featuring him in a screenshot here showing that he is followed by current queen of the transphobes J.K. Rowling, while speaking to both another big name in transphobic circles, Debra Soh, and based on their names, what I’m guessing is at least one straight-up nazi. And in case you think “the P” he’s talking about adding to LGBT (or “GLBT” as weird anti-queer bigots who also have issues with women often write it) might stand for “poly” or “pan” he’s all too happy to clarify that.

This is the entire thrust of Cantor’s work and life. He is the world’s biggest pedophile rights advocate. He wants it declassified as a mental disorder, all stigma on it removed, and tirelessly pushes forward the idea that the majority of.. people who feel compelled to sexually assault children are good people who present no potential harm to anyone and should in fact be lauded.

I am not generally one to claim that someone with a PhD is spewing out questionable garbage with regard to their field, but the reason I am aware of Cantor at all is that other transphobes keep trying to hold up a particular post on his blog as "a study” (which it is not) that offers “proof” (in the form of a blurry jpeg of basically some random numbers) of some ridiculous quackery about how trans kids will “grow out of it” if exposed to conversion therapy (another way of saying torture), which Cantor himself seems to be pushing, so I am somewhat skeptical of his academic chops. And I am, of course, REALLY suspicious that all these other bigots gravitate to him purely because they’re that desperate to find anyone with a PhD in anything that backs them up against literally every scientist in a relative field, to the point that they merely forgive his particular advocacy they are plainly all aware of, particularly when such a common fig leaf used by transphobes is “keeping children safe from sexual deviants.”

And of course, Cantor is most often invoked when coming to the defense of Kenneth Zucker. This Kenneth Zucker.

Those are separate papers. Zucker isn’t controversial though for organizing panels to discuss how attractive people agree small children are (at least not exclusively). Mostly, he’s known for running a conversion therapy center which subjected gay and trans children to various sorts of torture in an effort to “fix” them, which at least for those trans "patients” I have spoken with involved a fair amount of having them strip completely naked and talking a lot about their genitals.

Zucker is something of a controversial figure with the transphobic scene, as they are extremely on board with his sexual torture of queer children, but he does actual work (for some value of the term) involving trans people and thus is not able to commit as fully as they would prefer to making life horrible for trans people, due to a professional obligation to acknowledge reality now and then. As an aside, the similarly positioned Ray Blanchard, while not to my knowledge particularly interested in the attractiveness of children, lives in a similar purgatory of trying to reconcile his career, bigotry, and sexual hangups, yielding compromises like this:

Of course, that’s just looking at the straws transphobes grasp at when looking for scientific credibility. Real leaders of the movement include Germaine Greer, author of The Beautiful Boy, which is about what you are afraid it might be, and features a very young child in a cover feature he did not consent to posing for. Or Julie Bindel, who among other things is rather infamous for writing whole articles on subjects like whether a teenage girl she came across maybe has a huge penis you can totally see if you really squint at her skirt. Again, I will not share a link to go along with that one.

Transphobes terrorize and attempt to defund charities and other unambiguously good organizations.

Graham Linehan, previously best known for cowriting some sitcoms and possibly spending a year angling to get into my pants so awkwardly I didn’t pick up on it is now best known for trying to pull the plug on a children’s charity, in a story that somehow also involves Donkey Kong. Well, and the interview about nazis. And possibly the other interview about “defending me from nazis” until it got into his head that I might not be as young and hot as he imagined. Rather not link to a far right extremist youtube channel though.

There’s also a current effort to replace Stonewall (an organization named after the location where a pair of trans women kicked off a riot which is generally agreed to be the start of the LGBT+ rights movement) as the UK’s primary LGBT+ rights organization with the “LGB Alliance.” The hate group mentioned above, with the skull face and the rifle. Closest I can find to an article on that effort on short notice that isn’t propaganda.

Transphobes paper areas in truly disgusting propaganda.

I don’t want to directly link to grown adults skulking around children’s playgrounds and bathrooms plastering surfaces with mass printed stickers of crudely drawn penises, but would encourage you to read this very long post, being sure to load all the images, to really understand how deeply strange this behavior gets.

Finally, I cannot stress this enough, this really extreme behavior I’m citing, and the specific people involved in the examples I’m giving, these aren’t random cranks on the fringe of things. The people going on televised panel discussions, writing up news stories, and testifying before lawmakers in efforts to pass horrifically discriminatory if not literally life-endangering laws (there is a major ongoing effort to legally end all medical care for trans people, and I don’t just mean care directly relating to being trans) are literally the same people involved in the sexualization of children, nazi collaborations, and roving gangs assaulting people in the street. At a bare minimum I urge people, when booking guests and handing out writing contracts, to do background checks and see if they’re platforming actual terrorists. If we could actually bring legal consequences to bear against the worst of this, that would be great too. As things stand though, the whole world is just consistently citing a bunch of racist, woman-hating, serial liars with no real credentials, and questionable attitudes towards the sexual abuse of children, as “trusted experts” and refusing to seat actual trans people or people who have legitimately committed lifetimes to academic and practical work with trans people any seats at the table.

[lightsong-legacy]

♒ Thoughts on the fandom you’re currently rping in?

OH BOY LETS BUCKLE UP BUCKAROOS

So, the Wow Fandom is a wild fucking ride. Now, I have been all over the wow map. I started on a PVE server and eventually got into RP as I had done forum roleplay for years.  I have found that the fandom shifts, but there are always a few constants. 

The popular figure a bunch of people don’t like but don’t know why its just normal to want to rp with them yet hate them

The unpopular figure mostly everyone dislikes but people still rp around because they keep things active

The random rpers who are worshipped for no reason and they are super confused yet flattered by that

The random rpers who want to be worshipped and are angry at the above group for ‘stealing the spotlight’

And the rest of us.

The thing is, those titles are constantly shifting and if you pay too much attention to how it goes you will just burn yourself out. I honestly feel like the fandom as a whole would be 100000000000000000000000000000% better if we just stopped caring so much about what other people like or don’t like. 

You still simp for Sylvanas? Weird flex but okay dude.

You hate the horde so much you’ve never rolled a horde toon and don’t understand how other people can play them? Well don’t be mean and you do you bro.

You rolled a toon just so you could hang out in goldshire? Alright, stay out of trouble my guy.

Like, it doesn’t have to be personal. So long as someone is not attacking you AS A PERSON. Don’t make it deeper than it is.

I have seen people rage quit over the fact their character was not immediately loved in a crowd by everyone involved. Some people are just not going to like your story or your toons and that is okay. Just like you aren’t going to like every story you come across be it something that Blizz puts out or something someone else writes. If you don’t like it, and its not encouraging harm on people who cannot defend themselves, then just ignore it.

But yeah, that is my lil PSA of my feelings. Thank you for the ask, sorry for the rant! @safrona-shadowsun

[jadethest0ne]

35! Go for it! ✨

Oh right, for this ask game! I had nearly forgotten about it XD

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want! 

If there was one fic-related thing I’d want to ramble about it’d be specifically being a comic artist, and the different things I experienced going from the Pokemon fandom to the RotTMNT fandom as a comic artist.

I spent 5 years creating a Pokemon comic called “Liberty”, based on a nuzlocke playthrough of Pokemon Soul Silver (basically pokemon on hard-mode with permadeath involved for those of you who don’t know what a nuzlocke is). Meanwhile, it’s been just over a year since my first foray into creating comics for the Rise fandom.

The Similarities

The Disparity between Fanart and Fanfiction

Being a comic artist is odd sometimes because I basically do both fanart and fanficiton at the same time. I can understand and vibe with what a lot of both fanartists and fanfiction writers go through and deal with. This is why I feel like I can answer a lot of these fanfiction questions despite a good chunk of my story-telling being visual.

I am also aware of the disparity between fanart often getting a lot more eyes and attention than fanfiction. Deciding to write a piece of fanfiction instead of draw it out in comic format is often a calculated choice on my part, because writing prose takes more energy from me and often gets less rewards via views and interaction from readers. But despite it taking more energy, it takes less overall time for me to write something out than draw the same story, so I often factor that in when deciding which medium to create a story in.

I feel bad that a lot of fanfiction writers don’t get the attention that they deserve because of this disparity, so may I remind readers to please please PLEASE support your fanfiction creators and interact with their work! It seriously means a lot to them! Even a little message or a reblog will do! The main similarity between these two fandoms is this disparity, and I think it’d be awesome if we could get the number of interactions between fanart/fancomics and fanfiction to be more equal.

The Differences

I’m more popular as a Rise artist?

So, as I said, I spent 5 years making a Pokemon comic and 1 year creating a bunch of Rise comics. And yet I think I got more (or at least the same number of) viewers on my Rise comics in that one year than on my Pokemon comics in 5 years. I certainly got a similar number of followers, despite the differences in time. One of the main reasons for this is likely due to the social media platforms I posted on. I posted “Liberty” on deviantart and on the Pokemon Nuzlocke forums, the latter being particularly niche. As for my Rise comics and artwork, I branched out to other sites including here on Tumblr, Instagram, AO3, and Twitter (though insta got fewer comics due to the image size restrictions). The number and popularity of the sites I posted Rise artwork to are more than deviantart and that is likely a big reason. The other reasons for my increase in popularity may be for some of the other differences...

There aren’t that many comic artists in the TMNT fandom

I could probably name only a handful of consistent comic creators in, not only the Rise fandom, but in the TMNT fandom. And I mean the long-running, over-arching story type of comic creators. There aren’t that many of us. There are tons of artists and fanfic writers out there, yes, but very few that combine the two.

Meanwhile the Pokemon community has TONS. Especially the nuzlocke community. Heck, the Pokemon nuzlocke community started and was named because of a popular comic detailing the events of the creator’s nuzlocke challenge playthrough of Pokemon Emerald. You get a little bit more lost in the crowd amongst so many other comic artists in the Pokemon community, but at the same time have more people to learn from and relate to in that way.

My involvement with the Fandoms has been different

There’s been a lot of collaboration and working together among creators within each respective fandom. I feel like personally, a lot of my collabs with Rise creators has been a lot more direct and more personal than the kind of things I did in the Pokemon fandom.

For example, in the Pokemon comic fandom, it was really common to cameo each others’ characters in your comic, or include each others’ comics or characters in memes. This wasn’t always a planned thing, though we would ask each other for permission. I joined a Pokemon comic discord, but most of my interactions there and on other platforms involved brainstorming help. Not only that, but sometimes the community was a bit more competitive as well. For instance the Nuzlocke Forums would hold an “extravaganza” every year where folks voted on various categories to vote for the best nuzlocke (I won “Best Pokemon” and “Most improved” in 2018 :3 ).

Meanwhile with the Rise fandom, I did more things like art trades, collaborative art pieces, and zine work. These were a lot more direct and planned out and involved a bit more trust and interaction with other artists. I also became close friends with the folks in the discords that I joined as part of a Rise server, beyond just “fellow creator”.

As a result, I found myself doing a lot more serious artwork and even created other fics for the Rise fandom beyond just my comics, while when it came to Pokemon I stuck mainly to my “Liberty” art/comics.

More eyes, less interaction and visa versa

Again, this could be mainly a differences in what social media I’m using, but a big difference I found between readers of my work is that I got A LOT more people commenting on my Pokemon comic than on my Rise comics. I may be getting more views on my TMNT comics, but boy did I get more interaction with my Pokemon comics. I would get at least 5 people leaving these in-depth analysis or guesses of what would happen on each page for my Pokemon comic, not to mention the dozens of other reactions I would get in the comments. And despite that comic being on hiatus for a year, I still get some comments on it!

So, unless I know the commenter personally, I feel a little less involved with my readership with my Rise comics than my Pokemon one. Which is a little sad. I do appreciate you all who appreciate my work, but I feel like I appreciate you from afar and can only go “awww” at the things y’all leave in the notes or on the anonymous asks I get, instead of being able to thank you more directly.

Rise readers are a bit less patient

I get lots more people asking me “when the next page is coming” on my Rise comics and fics much more often than on my Pokemon comic. This virtually never happened with my Pokemon comic. Granted, I was way more consistent with “Liberty” and it had a set schedule, whereas my Rise comics/fanfics never have. But still.

I really DO NOT like those kinds of asks/comments. Please do not ask me when the next one is coming out. It makes me feel stressed and ashamed and pressured, which can create negative feelings around my work and make me less likely to finish them. I get that you’re excited, and that’s cool. But literally no one likes those kinds of comments.

For perspective, “Liberty”, my Pokemon comic, has been on hiatus for nearly a year and I’ve gotten maybe two comments to that effect, and they were newer readers who weren’t around at the time that I announced my hiatus and the reasons thereof. My “Liberty” readers have been so patient with me (bless them), and I feel a real loyalty to that kind of readership. I don’t know when, yet, but I really want to get back to “Liberty” someday, not just for myself or that story that I lovingly crafted, but also for them.

Pokemon was a hobby, Rise is a passion

Likely due to the fact that I have made a lot of close friends within the Rise community, and the fact that it has helped me immensely through this really tough year, I feel so much closer with the Rise creator community. Pokemon was a thing that I did for fun as a side hobby. My TMNT related comics and art have pushed me so much further in my art, gotten me involved in various projects, gotten me into creating animations, holy heck was I sucked into this fandom in such a short amount of time, and I love it so much.

I have been a fan of Pokemon since I was a kid, and I never thought I’d find a piece of media that would capture my attention and adoration as much. I think at a point when I was shifting from the Pokemon to the Rise fandom I said something along the lines of “I feel like I’m cheating on Pokemon with Rise”/j but it’s kinda true, haha!

In the end, both fandoms and the people in them mean a lot to me, and I’ve grown a lot from them as an artist and a person. I will be forever grateful to the other creators, readers, artists, writers, friends, collaborators, etc in both.

Thank you all very much!

[reimahowaido]

I’ll get to those Magic Crafter Dragons I sweeeear But first, fun stuff from Discord. Dunno who made the original, it was just posted on a server, but yeet I did it anyway First of all, I don’t play a lot of games. I like games and the idea of them. I enjoy people playing stuff, I love watching others play. It’s that little sibling culture. But lemme toss a word or few about all of these. Though first of all, I only own 4 of the 8 games listed and even still I’ve only played 3 of them xD R.I.P. Pokemon Cafe Mix - The game is just Super Cute. Like oh my god Aesthetics! Adorable, every pokemon looks so nice and I just want to go to the cafe and taste everything and just chill. Please. It looks so cozy and relaxing. Gameplay is fairly simple too. Sometimes things seem a bit BS but in one way or another I’ll get through every stage etc. so it’s not too bad. Most of the time relaxing, can be addicting because of how simple things are. But really I love the game and I hope one day they’ll add more of the pokemon I like xD Buizel is my current favourite <3 It’d be nice seeing Mienshao or Mienfoo for one, maybe Glameow as it doesn’t get a lot of attention. We got Gogoat, but I wouldn’t mind a Sawsbuck or Deerling Pokemon Black 2 - To keep the Pokemon trend going, this is my fave out of the mainline games. I’ve been a fan ever since the first generation, I’m older than Gen 1 at that. But yeah, we did buy games but Nintendo stuff was too expensive and so I never really got to play those growing up. Black 2 was the first game I ever bought, for myself, with my own money. It was my first game and I loved it dearly. Still do and man I’d Love to replay it, but the curse of only 1 save file is cruel. I don’t want to restart my first ever save file. Currently I have no way of transferring anything over and I even have a Shiny Gothorita there (as underwhelming as it is, it was my first ever shiny). I love these games~~ Lots of different pokemon to choose from, great story, the fact that it’s a sequel is so freaking cool and unique I Love It So Much. Of course it’d be cool to have some extra things to do in it, like cleaning my badges, contests would be cool, I loved the mining stuff in Gen 4 when I got to try it on my friend’s Platinum save file as a kid. Speaking of, Gen 4 games would probably be my favourites, if I ever had the chance of owning and playing any fully. They have soooo much to do in them! Gen 5 is good and certainly up there in faves, but bruh, Gen 4 had all sorts of extra stuff, especially Platinum, and in HG/SS you had Pokemon following you like bruh that’s Crazy and I’d love to have that for a game I own, it’s like a dream Honorable mentions to Mystery Dungeon and Gen 6′s Pokemon Y for some grand memories. Firstly Pokemon Y, the second game I ever owned I think, great fun. I played that game for hooooooooours and it’s the only Pokemon Game that I’ve both played as a Nuzlocke and actually reset to play again. Also the first gen where I actually really got into competitive stuff, breeding for natures and stuff, and I’ve caught so many shinies in Y and Omega Ruby (mostly Y, OR has 1 shiny in Pidove, while Y has Ninetales, Pachirisu, Burmy, Gligar, and perhaps some other ones I caught/hatched myself). Mystery Dungeon games get a mention for having cool stories and I like the idea of the personality test and stuff. I’ve never played or owned any of these games, but I’ve watched Marriland play a handful of the games and currently am enjoying MDB playing through the first games in the series. Also a quick bloop on Colosseum being Cool as heck, and Battle Revolution gets a shoutout for looking so freaking good, having amazing music and making me search up videos with my favourite pokemon and just looking and watching hundreds of videos just because they looked so nice

Fire Emblem has to be the 2nd series of games I’ve gotten the most into. Although I’m a fairly new fan and my experiences and knowledge are limited, I do still enjoy the series and games - both old and new - a bunch. I only own Awakening, Conquest and 3 Houses, but I’ve again watched others play the past games a bunch, so I have some knowledge and memorable moments from those games too. Now I haven’t actually gotten myself to play 3 Houses yet, I’ve seen playthroughs of the game already and know the story etc. But yeh. Still, I’d say that I’ll probably like 3 Houses more than Awakening and Conquest. Awakening is nostalgia galore for me, but it does have its things with the story and characters and stuff. It’s nice, but I dunno, I just feel 3 Houses has an edge on it in some way. Maybe it’s just... Less controversial? Less Flame Wars? Maybe? Fates games, well, we all know the big glaring thing here. The story. And some of the characters suffer from this too. I kinda do wish that the Player had a biiiit more control in how the story went and played out, like I feel you definitely could have saved Scarlet in some way still, and all that. But eh, there’s enough stuff for me to go and prefer 3 Houses over it. And yes, I like choosing the members of my team and playing however I like, so giving me the ability to class my characters however I want is going to be a mistake as I’ll just make everyone a mounted unit and get destroyed but hey! Options :2 Variety :22 Great tiiiiimes~ Also it’s Blue Lions for me, Golden Deer Second Now for the games I don’t own. I chose Radiant Dawn because the Tellius games are just so good. I love the character in them, the story is pretty solid and the worldbuilding is cool too :2 I like both of the games, and while Path of Radiance is more coherent and doesn’t give split the characters up a bunch, Radiant Dawn has More of the great characters :2 Yes I know, not all of them are as fleshed out and thought out as the first game’s characters, but yo I still love them. I love a good continuation to a story. I love a ‘hey maybe it wasn’t as Black & White as we were made to believe’ twist. Also just hella good memories from watching BigKlingy play these games. The audience memed Aran to the final levels. We did it, he did so well, Aran deserved to be there xD Radiant Dawn also brings us Nailah, who is just. Yeah, you speak to me on so many levels, I’m easily readable. But also, woman, wolf, strong, yasss~~ Also I love the idea of the Jaegan character being a Thief/Assassin. That’s just so different and cool to me after all these Horse Units. And I’m the one guy who likes Levail and would love to see more of him. Give us more of Levail, the man who almost made it to being playable. Man. Levail is probably the one reason I’d pick Radiant Dawn over Path of Radiance xD The other game I’ve watched BigKlingy play through (and that’s my only experience on that game) is Sacred Stones. Pretty solid game all in all. Story, characters, but speaking of that story, if you really think about it, it’s Hella Dark, and that’s actually kinda cool in a way. I’m not that into dark stories, but here it worked. Also watched PhoenixMaster1′s playthrough on the Echoes game. I do like the game, if i find it one day I Might buy it but I’m not like in a hurry to get it. It was cool though, different for reasons but hey~ Also, Berkut, yes. I’m one of those people who like this angry man. But come on, he was really good xD Spyro I’ve already talked about in my lengthy little thing that I’ll get to continuing eventually xD But yes, I freaking love Spyro, my childhood, still very enjoyable experience full of great memories Metroid Fusion - Oh boy here come the nostalgia~ I’ve actually never played any Metroid games myself. I got introduced to the series in the early 2010s through youtube videos. I’m fairly sure it was me looking through dozens and dozens of Top 10 videos, several of which were on ‘the scariest bosses’, either unexpectedly scary or something else. But guess what, Nightmare from Fusion was in there, and I Think the person in the video said something on not wanting to even show the final forms of Nightmare’s face because it was that horrifying to them. And honestly? The fact that they didn’t show how bad it got, mixed with my morbid curiosity and woop, here I go~ Down the Metroid rabbithole where I watched a lot of videos on people fighting Nightmare and the other bosses in the game, eventually going into watching full run-throughs of the game and enjoying my time. Game looked pretty good, soundtrack was really nice too. And so I ended up on listening to a lot of the game series’ music and getting more familiar with the other games and the lore too. Learning to know that Samus was a lady was also hella badass. Fusion started it all for me, and while Super Metroid is cool, people also just play it a loooot, especially the Speedrunners, there’s also plenty of hacks based on that game and yeah I get it the game is Good, but that makes Fusion all the more special to me~ Devil May Cry 3 - Ok so again, I’ve not played any DMC games myself. This one again though is nostalgia ocean for me~ 2010 or such, I’m on some forum, said forum has a forum game based around songs or such and someone links one from this game. I Think it was the Doppelganger battle theme, or then I just found that one and listened to it for hours among the other battle themes these games have because they’re soooo gooood~~ DMC 4 was fairly new at that time, but I remember Gredo’s and Agnus’ themes being up there in songs I listened to a lot too. My experiences and stuff on this series was fully based on the songs, images on said songs, bits and pieces of the cutscenes of these games I saw and comments I read. I didn’t get too deep into DMC back then though, but I did have a bit of knowledge here and there, even if my idea of the stories in all the games was, well, I wouldn’t call it warped, but I definitely had imagined the story going differently to how things actually went xD Still, as a few years back I returned to DMC out of that feeling of nostalgia, and discovered DMC 5 had Just been released, boi, I was In. And I watched through cutscene compilations, playthoughs and what have you on all the games (Except for DmC, boot to you ReBoot), and it was quite the hype time~ I enjoy the chracters, the story that there is around them, and just how carefree and fun stuff can be. The party sure did get crazy~ Lost Dimension - The last game I have on the list there. This might be a weird one and I get that yeah. How many have even heard of this game? I sure wouldn’t have ever known of it without BigKlingy’s playthrough of it. But that playthrough was full of memories, I should really rewatch it one day~ I may not remember an awful lot about the game, but I do keep coming back to it in one way or another. I liked the character designs, the fact that all of them were unique and had their own abilities, there was a bit of story around all of them, the traitor system had you thinking & made each run a little different... That’s some Cool Stuff! The game might be a bit obscure and seriously not known at all, but for what it was, it was great and I enjoyed it a bunch! And now for stuff that wasn’t on the list but I kinda still want to mention. Because why not~ IB - This Almost made it onto the list, but I felt a little closer of a connection to the other games on it. But IB is one of those games from the early 2010s that I also got introduced to through the wonderful world of Youtube. I have forgotten the name of the person whose playthrough in the game I watched. But I watched a ton of people play this game. It was just. So cool. The puzzles in this game were nice and the fact I myself could solve and understand them too was pretty nice to me, and for some reason I just enjoyed watching other people react to the game and try solving stuff. It also had a couple different endings so watching and seeing what the other people got was also interesting. Great memories~ Witch’s House / Ao Oni / Mad Father - And all sorts of other horror games that kinda fall under this grouping and style and stuff. Yeah, IB kinda opened a bit of a thing for me as I realized I greatly enjoyed the horror games with puzzle elements to themselves + a bit of story here and there. There’s definitely much much more than these 3, I watched soooo many of these games being played by others. Ao Oni I may have discovered through my Hetalia phase though, HetaOni, if any of you still recognize that name. Daym. Although at first I didn’t want to watch HetaOni because of the portraits. Pfffff I thought the person who made them was being mean to some of the characters, but nah, I’d later learn that those were simply just mimicing the ones from the original game. But yeah, Ao Oni had a dozen variants and things inspired by it so those kept me busy for a whiiiiiile Hades - Now here’s a cool recent game! Again, haven’t played it, but it looks cool. The story is nice, character designs are God Like (hehe), soundtrack is super cool, aesthetics and oh my god everything is voice acted oh my gooood. This game is just. So cool. And the team who did it seems really cool too and are seemingly full of nice amazing people. This is definitely some great example work on how things should be done :2 Definitely something to look up to, I love everything about them~ The only reason Hades isn’t up there is because of its recentness and my brain not managing to think of it somehow even as I struggled to come up with stuff (I was mostly trying to think of stuff I had played, so that’s one thing. I even struggled to remember DMC because my current hyperfixations are elsewhere and that’s freaking Wild considering how much I enjoy DMC) But yeah, Hades is Super Freaking Cool Crash Bandicoot - These games I did play as a kid actually, the 1st one was way too hard and the 3rd one was my favourite. I like Crash, these games were nice too and I have plenty of good memories with the game, just not enough to make it up there on my list. Yeah it sounds stupid that I’d take out a game I actually played and replace it with stuff that I didn’t, but... Hey, my list Minecraft - Watched several videos on other people pllaying this game, I know of it, I respect it, but I’ve never played it myself and stuff. It’s cool but didn’t make it on the list Animal Crossing - Riiiiiight, these games seem adorable and I wouldn’t mind owning an AC game one day. I’d probably reset continuously though to get Skye in my town/village/island, she’s my favourite xD If the recent game had cost lest I might have gotten it. 60-70€ is just, a lot of money Persona - I guess I’ll mention these too. My experiences are through Bigklingy’s videos again. 3 is a fave, 4 seems cool, 5 I don’t know a lot about but it seems nice too. I probably wouldn’t be able to play these games myself, since some fights kinda need certain things and strategies and you can’t really just pick whatever and whom ever and roll through with brute strength. I mean, I Guess you could, but that might not be as fun in the long run? Who knows, but it’s not exactly like Pokemon or Fire Emblem in those regards you know The big conclusion is that I like all sorts of different aesthetic looks, mostly probably natural with some brighter colors in it. Stories are good, I love stories! Good characters with nice designs and backstories are really nice too. Things being thought out and built nicely is great you know? A little bit of strategy, fantasy here and there. Nothing too dark and gloomy or ‘hyper realistic’ or what have you. I guess no first person shooters either, though combat is fine. Games where I can pick and choose what to use and what kinds of ‘teams’ I build and the ‘members’ I use in them is nice. I do love watching others play, but with games like Pokemon & Fire Emblem I have that drive of choosing who to use and having my own unique experience kinda gets me to buy the games.

[bnhabadass]

Budding Love | Mina Ashido x Reader

A/n: This is a small collaboration I have taken part in along with a few other members of the bnharem server. If you want to read the other pieces (which you absolutely should) the link to the master list can be found here.

Rating: 16+ Warnings: Weed consumption, minor use of swear words.

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Your friends all knew about your little crush on Mina Ashido. It was painstakingly obvious to everyone except her. You always agreed to every reckless thing with her friends so long as she was involved.

“You’re going bungee-jumping this weekend? I don’t know if I’m comfortable with that.”

“Mina will be there.”

“Cool, what time do we leave?”

You were always caught staring at her by your friends and they constantly teased you for it. It’s annoying, but you don’t hate it if you’re being honest. You know they just do it out of love for you and respect for your non-existent love life.

The pink girl had you whipped and she had no idea.

You were sitting on the couch in the common room, watching a few of your friends battle each other in Mario Kart, when Kirishima came up to you with a proposition.

“Wanna get stoned with us this weekend?”

Your eyes grew wide and you thought they were about to bulge out of their sockets. “Huh?”

“Sero has this god-like dealer apparently who grows, and I quote, ‘some of the most dank shit you’ll ever smoke.’ So we thought we’d all try some. You in?” Kirishima’s bright and pointy smile felt like it was cornering you.

“I don’t know.” You scratched the back of your head with your hand and averted your eyes to the floor. “I’ve never done something like that. Is it safe? To do it on school property I mean.”

Kirishima just laughed. “It’s fine. Sero and Kaminari do it in the dorms all the time. And we’ll be right there with you helping you through it all.”

As he spoke more and more, you were beginning to like the idea. It was a little nerve-wracking, yes, but you trust your friends and you like being a part of their squad.

“Besides,” he added. “Ashido was wondering if you’d join us.”

And that sealed the deal. “Okay,” you said, the biggest smile lighting up your face. “Let’s do it!”

The week went by quicker than you had expected, and the weekend had almost arrived. You didn’t pay attention in class on Friday, instead opting to stare out the window and drum your fingers against the wood of the desk to pass the time.

You overheard Sero talking to Kaminari about meeting his dealer after class, and a nervous pit formed in the middle of your stomach at hearing that. You had never smoked or done anything like that before, and as the minutes drew closer to the time you were meeting your friends, you felt all the more lightheaded.

Once back at the dorms, you sat on the edge of your bed eating some crackers and drinking some water. Forcing yourself to get rid of your anxiety only seemed to strengthen it. You had told your friends you would meet in Mina’s room around six o’clock. It was 5:54, and you hadn’t budged from your spot on your bed since you sat down.

Rolling off your bed, you dragged yourself over to the mirror hanging on the back of your door and brushed your fingers through your hair. Straightening out your clothes, you did a double check to make sure you didn’t have crumbs of any sort on your face.

“Alright,” you said to yourself. “Let’s do this.”

The door to Mina’s room had been decorated with a hot pink feather boa. A half sheet of paper dated with today’s date was taped to the door. It read “DO NOT DISTURB.” You figured that was her subtle way of letting everyone know she would be a bit...preoccupied. Raising your hand, you gently knocked on the door.

It swung open, and Mina’s eyes widened at seeing you. “You’re here!” She grabbed your wrist and dragged you inside. “I didn’t think you’d show and I thought I’d be smoking all alone.”

“Why would you be alone?” you asked. “Where are Kirishima and the others?” You’re not sure why you asked. It was obvious that the others bailed as a way to get you two alone. They say hindsight is 20/20, and you’re a fool for not realizing their plans earlier.

“Bakugo is taking the boys out for some late night training. Weird, right?”

You nodded as you took in your surroundings. You had seen Mina’s room before, but actually sitting in it and hanging out with her felt so surreal.

“Anyways, Sero gave me a baggie of his dealer’s stuff and told me to go nuts. Have you ever done anything like this before?” Her eyes were genuine, curious as to what you had to say.

“Um, no. I’ve never smoked or anything like that.”

She smiled. “Me neither.”

You were surprised. Had she not smoked with Sero and Kaminari like Kirishima had suggested? She seemed so chill and laid back, like maybe she was always on some substance. But maybe that was just the silly and loveable personality you had found yourself falling for.

“But there’s a first time for everything, right?”

You smiled at the optimistic outlook she had. “Yeah. I’m a bit nervous, though,” you admitted.

“Oh me too.” She held up the bag with the green buds inside. “Like, I have no idea how to roll a joint.” The joint papers lay at the corner of her desk.

You smiled and giggled. “Well it’s a good thing we have the internet to teach us.”

The two of you crowded around Mina’s desk as you looked up how to roll a joint. You were both surprised at how many weed and stoner forums you came across. Mina offered to do the rolling, which you were grateful for since you were still confused how to do it.

The joint looked more like a scabby cheeto than anything. She didn’t disperse the weed out evenly, and you were a bit worried the pot would burst out in some places.

“Do you want to take the first hit, or should I?”

You blushed. You thought that you would be doing this with more of your friends, and even though Mina was there to help you through it, you couldn’t help but feel as though you were alone in the room, just you and the foreign substance begging to be smoked.

Mina could sense you were uncomfortable, and you were grateful for that. “Here, why don’t I.” She was about to hold the joint up to her lips, but you stopped her.

“No, that’s okay. I’ll go first.”

She hesitated but handed you the joint and lighter.

You stuck it in your mouth and lit it the way you’ve seen characters in movies light cigarettes. Your lungs have never inhaled such an intense amount of smoke before, and when you sucked in, you had the worst coughing fit of your life. “Oh...wow,” you said between coughs.

“So, how is it?” Mina’s big eyes looked up at you like a puppy in need of attention.

“I don’t think it’s kicked in yet. Do you have any water or something?”

“Yeah I bought a whole bunch of munchie snacks.” She pointed over to a big grocery bag sitting on her desk chair. She ran over to grab a couple bottles of water and a big bag of popcorn. Racing back over to you, she handed you the bottle, and you traded her for the rest of the joint.

“Here.”

She looked at the joint with curiosity. “Do you think I’ll like it?” A bit of ash fell onto her carpet.

“I mean, we have it so we might as well try it, right?”

She nodded, but it was more out of reassurance than anything. “Right.” Holding the joint up to her lips, she sucked in and held it for as long as possible. It wasn’t long before she was left a coughing mess next to the pile of ash left behind.

You couldn’t help but giggle. Her pink face was turning a shade darker. “It kind of hurts going in.”

“Yeah no kidding.”

Even though Mina stopped coughing after taking a sip of water, you were still laughing. You couldn’t stop. It’s as if fish hooks kept pulling your cheeks up until there was nowhere left for them to go.

“Holy shit you’re high.”

“Huh?” Your reaction time was off. You were confused. But for some reason you couldn’t help but continue to laugh.

“You can’t stop smiling and your eyes are all squinty! You’re definitely high!”

But you couldn’t focus on what Mina was saying. Your eyes kept focusing in and out as she spoke, and the pink hue of her skin was looking more vibrant against the other psychedelic backgrounds of her bedroom.

“Are you okay?”

You focused back in on her. “Huh? Oh yeah.” You then continued laughing and she joined in. Any worries of what the drug would do to you had washed away. Mina was laughing with you and you were not nervous to be around her in the slightest.

Once the drug had finally hit her, you both decided to put on some cartoons and anime and see how different it would look, and even how it would feel. You both lounged on her floor staring at her laptop. Fuzzy pillows were in each of your hands and you were stroking them, admiring the texture as it smoothed between your fingers.

“Why haven’t we hung out before now? Just the two of us?” Mina asked.

You stopped stroking the pillow to grab the butt end of the joint on her table. Lord knows you would need it to have this conversation. “I don’t know,” you mused once you took your hit. Exhaling, you watched as the smoke dissipated and left the room slightly hazy. “Never really had the opportunity, I guess.”

“Well if I knew how much you also like anime I would have invited you over sooner.” She smiled and rested her head against your shoulder. The tip of one of her horns was very close to poking its way into your ear, so you adjusted into a more comfortable position with Mina still leaning against you.

You felt oddly comfortable around her now. Perhaps it was the fact that both of you were trying something new and different together, or maybe it was just the drug messing with the rest of your senses. Either way, you felt a sense of euphoria laying about with Mina at your side. There was nothing to worry about in that moment, no stains on your clothing you worried about her spotting, no saying anything dumb or any voice cracks that she might make fun of. It was just you and her side-by-side and the anime playing in the background.

--

“Let’s play truth or dare!”

A few hours had gone by and after about four episodes in, the two of you were getting rather bored. The initial weed you smoked had worn off, and you were rolling another joint with the remaining weed Sero had given you guys.

“Huh?” You looked up from the joint as your tongue darted across it, sealing it shut.

“Come on it’ll be fun!”

“I guess we could.” You held the joint up to your lips and took one long inhale. You passed it back and exhaled. “We should probably open up the window or something. Get the smell out, you know?”

“Oh yeah,” she said between puffs. Running over to the glass door, she slid it open, and the cool chill of the night’s air and the sound of crickets swept its way over the room. “Okay, truth or dare?”

“I dunno, truth?” You’re not sure why you said truth. It was stupid on your part. Everyone knows that when someone says truth, the first question anyone asks is…

“Do you have a crush on anyone?”

You looked down at your feet and wiggled your toes in your socks. You could start to feel the weed take its course, and yet again your cheek bones lifted up into the air.

“You do!”

“Huh?” Your face flushed and your eyes widened. “What?”

“You’re stoned and in love,” she mused. “That’s so cute!”

“Okay let’s just move on.” You didn’t make eye contact with Mina. You didn’t want to look at anyone, let alone her. “Truth or dare?”

“How about dare.”

You smiled and looked up. “Okay okay okay. I dare you to go downstairs and have a conversation with someone, but you can’t let them know you’re stoned.”

Mina completed the dare, much to your surprise. It helps that her eyes can’t get bloodshot, so when she went downstairs and asked Sato about the croissants he was baking, he didn’t suspect anything.

“I’m impressed,” you said once you both made your way back upstairs.

“Yeah it’s a good thing the oven caught fire and he had something to distract himself with. I think he was starting to catch on that something was off.”

You flopped onto her bean bag chair. “What do you want to do now?”

Her smile grew wider and you could practically see the light bounce off her white teeth. “Now it’s my turn to ask, silly. Truth or dare?”

You could feel that anxiety return to your stomach. It was a little gremlin bouncing up and down your insides. “Dare, I guess. I already said truth.”

Her smile turned into a wicked one. “I dare you to call your crush and serenade them with a love song.”

You swallowed any anxiety you felt the need to barf up. Reaching for your phone, your hand began to tremble. You could always refuse the dare. You could say that you weren’t comfortable with that, pretend that the weed was giving you paranoia and freak out about calling her. But something was guiding your  hand. It had a mind of its own as you unlocked your phone and went straight for Mina Ashido’s contact.

“Holy shit you’re actually doing it.”

You didn’t hear Mina as she spoke. You just took a shaky deep breath in and squeezed your eyes shut as you pressed the call button. It took a moment for the ringing to go through and Mina looked over at her phone which was now vibrating on the table.

“Huh? Who’s calling me.”

You shrugged and held your phone up to your ear.

She looked at her phone and her eyes widened when the contact photo staring at her was your smiling face. “Wait why are you calling me?” You didn’t answer, just smiled as the realization suddenly dawned on her. She slowly slid her thumb across the phone and raised it up to her ear. “Hello?”

“Happy birthday to you,” you began to sing. In your stoned state of mind, the only song that you could think of the serenade her with was the fucking happy birthday song. “Happy birthday to you.”

She clasped her hand over her mouth and chortled with laughter.

“Happy birthday dear Mina. Happy birthday to you.”

Her face was a dark magenta as she blushed and laughed. She had tears pricking in the corner of her eyes. “So you like me?” She said into the phone’s speaker.

You nodded and hung up. “I’ve liked you for a very long time.”

“Why didn’t you say something?”

You shrugged, the feeling rippling through your body. “I don’t really like rejection.”

Mia looked down at the cuff of her pants. “But what if I didn’t reject you? What then?”

Your eyes widened and you felt your breath stagger in your throat. You couldn’t speak. Any words in your head refused to come out.

“(Y/n), do you want to go on a date with me next weekend?”

Your voice cracked and Mina couldn’t help but chuckle. You followed soon after, and the two of you became a laughing mess on the floor. Your cheeks ached but you didn’t care. “Yeah. Yeah, let’s do it.”

--

It was around two in the morning when Kirishima knocked on Mina’s door. “How are you two doing in there?” he asked from behind the door.

When he and Kaminari creaked the door open, they were met with the adorable sight of both you and Mina wrapped in each other’s arms. Wrappers and other trash left over from your snacking littered the room, and the tail end of some romcom was playing on Mina’s laptop. Both you and her were sound asleep.

“God it stinks in here,” Kirishima said. He tiptoed over pieces of trash in order to pause the movie.

“Yeah but look at them,” Kaminari mused. “Do you think we did a good thing in leaving them alone?”

“Oh definitely.” Kirishima grabbed the blanket off of Mina’s bed and draped it over your sleeping forms.

At the feeling of having the blanket draped over you, you snuggled closer into Mina’s arms and she closer into yours.

[az3422]

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PeppersGhost's Proposal, I guess.

K/O Failure Scenario Hub » SPC-001 » PeppersGhost's Proposal, I guess.

rating: +263+–X

You are now connected.

[13:04] Topic is "Fuck credentials, fuck passwords, fuck secrecy, fuck everything. Just, fuck in general. Fuck like it's the end of the world, because it is. Fuck me, please oh lord im so alone | Welcome! If you're still alive to read this, good luck finding someone to talk to."

[13:04] DrTsega: Hello? Anyone here?

[19:32] DrTsega: I'll take that as a no, then.

[22:48] DrTsega: I can't be the only one left.

[22:49] DrTsega: Hey Queg, are you still running?

[22:49] Queg: Hello, DrTsega. What can I do for you?

[22:49] DrTsega: thank god

[22:50] DrTsega: !backscroll 10

[22:50] Queg: [04:33] SgtYitay: I've looked through the entire building

[22:50] Queg: [04:33] SgtYitay: Everyone is dead

[22:50] Queg: [04:33] AgentCaleb: No shit

[22:50] Queg: [04:33] AgentCaleb: I know nobody uses this thing anyway but DAMN it's been EMPTY

[22:50] Queg: [04:34] AgentCaleb: You think it's just the two of us?

[22:50] Queg: [04:37] AgentCaleb: You still there

[22:50] Queg: [04:39] AgentCaleb: Saaarrrrge

[22:50] Queg: [04:50] SgtYitay has been disconnected (Ping timeout)

[22:50] Queg: [18:22] AgentCaleb: oooookay well i think im gonna call it quits then. If anyone sees this tell my husband I love him

[22:50] Queg: [18:22] AgentCaleb: lol jk i'll see that dogfaced whore in hell 👍🕶👍

[22:51] DrTsega: hmm

[22:52] DrTsega: !seen Agent Caleb

[22:52] Queg: AgentCaleb was last seen 8 days ago saying: lol jk i'll see that dogfaced whore in hell 👍🕶👍

[22:52] DrTsega: shit

[22:53] DrTsega: shitballs

[22:53] DrTsega: shitmonkeys

[22:55] DrTsega: shit the nail on the head

[22:55] DrTsega: okay

[11:16] DrTsega: Good morning. If anyone sees this just ping me, I'll stay around as long as I can.

[09:48] DrTsega: I'm still here

[14:26] DrTsega: !quote CaptSumner

[14:26] Queg: CaptSumner: I may be shitting out of my pee parts but FUCK YOU I will WALK IT OFF

[14:26] DrTsega: haha what

[14:27] DrTsega: Good times, good times.

[14:28] DrTsega: I wish Sumner wasn't lying dead in the bathroom

[14:29] DrTsega: or anywhere, for that matter

[14:33] DrTsega: but especially the bathroom

[08:01] DrTsega: I'm still here

[12:55] DrTsega: Man, if anyone sees this later I'm going to look really pitiful

[05:51] DrTsega: okay I can't sleep so I guess I might as well do this

[05:52] DrTsega: !settopic Check the backscroll. Look for "Start here"

[05:52] Topic is "Check the backscroll. Look for "Start here""

[05:52] DrTsega: Start here

[05:53] DrTsega: If you're still alive to read this, congratulations. You survived.

[05:54] DrTsega: You also have access to working internet and enough knowledge about shadow governments to visit a (previously) private communications channel, so, hey, good on you.

[05:55] DrTsega: As a reward for being such a cool and alive person, I'm going to tell you the story of how we ended the world.

[05:55] DrTsega: For context, though, you'll probably want to start by reading a certain document…

[05:56] DrTsega: Actually, you can probably just skim it. A lot of this won't make sense to you anyway, so who cares?

[05:57] DrTsega: Anyway. I'll go find the link. If memory serves, they declassified everything when they realized we were all gonna die.

[06:13] DrTsega: How are these servers even still up? Isn't that just the craziest thing

[08:22] DrTsega: Found it.

NOTICE FROM THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE COORDINATION

AND PROJECTS OPERATION COMMAND OFFICE

There is nothing new to report regarding SPC-001 at this time.

Test subject displaying the results of his exposure to SPC-001.

Project #: SPC-001

Selachian Pugnātorial Capabilities: Individuals enhanced with SPC-001 display a dramatic improvement in pugilistic prowess and have consistently proven capable of easily dispatching 90% of squaloid entities in simulations, even with no prior training. Furthermore, SPC-001 subjects have reported a radical elevation in coastal requiescence position retention, even when under assault from extragranular sedimentary weaponry.

Project Components: SPC-001 is a manmade chemical substance which augments the biological strength and dexterity of human beings. After initial exposure to SPC-001, subjects will undergo a steady increase in muscle mass over the following 72 hours, accompanied by heightened energy levels and adroit perception of their surroundings. Increased lung capacity and resistance to deep-sea hydrostatic pressure are common side effects.

Following the DREAD PORPOISE COMMUNION and the subsequent activation of the ALL HANDS ON DECK PROTOCOL, SPC agents embedded in the food industry began introducing discreet amounts of SPC-001 into numerous products intended for public consumption. Centre researchers have projected a full global saturation of SPC-001 to be achieved by the year ████. In the event that the DREAD PORPOISE COMMUNION ends before global saturation can be achieved, more aggressive means of SPC-001 dispersal may be undertaken to prevent a complete End-of-World K/O Failure Scenario.

Nascency Impetus: On May 16, ████, all observed selachian entities across the globe simultaneously demanifested, including those in SPC captivity. No selachian entities or evidence of the continued presence of selachian entities have been observed since. A Maximum State of Emergency was declared soon after by the Executive Pugilist Assembly and the phenomenon was codified as the DREAD PORPOISE COMMUNION. It is the belief of the Assembly that the selachians are congregating in preparation for the FINAL CONFLICT, an event foretold by Elder Pugilord Azmanititas in the Centre's original constitutional documents in 1451.

[08:23] DrTsega: Did you get all that?

[08:23] DrTsega: No? Okay, I'll break it down for you.

[08:26] DrTsega: I was part of a group known as the Selachian Punching Centre. An organization dedicated to fighting the menace that plagued our oceans. "We punch underwater so you can live on the land." That's what we used to say.

[08:27] DrTsega: I know what you're thinking.

[08:29] DrTsega: Yes. It was us keeping you safe the entire time. The Centre safeguarded mankind for centuries. Civilization as we knew it wouldn't have been possible if we weren't around. Our influence was unparalleled, extending to every level of every government, changing the course of world events, yet remaining a complete secret from everybody, which was really quite tricky.

Then, one day, the selachian menace disappeared. Our immediate reaction was one of disbelief, followed by euphoria, followed by raucous celebration. We danced. We drank ourselves stupid. We sang the songs of our forefathers. The orgies weren't officially sanctioned, of course, but boy howdy-doo were they tremendous.

Sadly, our revelry wasn't meant to last.

"DREAD PORPOISE COMMUNION", the Assembly called it. The prophesied gathering of every selachian, big or small. Every sharp, slimy, putrid horror that haunted our dreams, coming together in one place to bring about the end of all other life on our beautiful, green planet.

"But fear not," said our trusted Assembly. They told us that the human race would fight back. They said that when the selachians returned with their armies and squaloid murder-drones, we would be ready.

And they were right. We were ready. Thanks to SPC-001, we managed to get the entire human race fighting fit. At first people were alarmed when everyone started getting super ripped for no apparent reason, but then they realized it was awesome and the panic died down. Within a few months, every man, woman, and child was a lean, mean, punching machine. Even babies had abs you could wash your clothes on. It seemed like everything was going fine.

And that's how it went for the first couple of years: fine. Sure, boxing had to be outlawed once folks could punch with the same Newtonian force as your average car crash, and there were a few riots now and then over tank top shortages, but for the most part everything felt normal.

Year three, people started getting antsy. We had kept ourselves busy at the Centre by devising new weapons for selachian warfare, but every innovation felt hollow with a lack of anything to use them on. We grew listless. Surely the assault would begin any day, right?

Year four. There was an aura of dread hanging over the whole organization. I remember sitting in the Site-71 cafeteria, eating pickled cabbage and creamed corn salads with my comrades, when I finally heard someone ask aloud what we'd all wondered in the dark corners of our heads.

"What if they don't come back?"

It was Simmons who said that, of course. Of course. I kicked him in the face—a punch would have really hurt him—but the damage was done. It's a scary thought, losing your purpose in life. Faced with that kind of existential ennui, it's no wonder that everyone responded by flipping their shit. Hersberger screamed and started smearing her salad all over her face. Gertzler stabbed his fork tines into his cheek with no visible emotion. Bühler just broke down and cried until his tears turned to blood.

But Schwartzentruber was downright fuming. Started shouting all sorts of obscenities. Said he'd shove his fist down Simmons' throat and rip out his toenails from the inside. And Simmons was all defensive, "you all were thinking it" and that kind of stuff. The two kept going at it. We shouldn't have just sat there and watched, but no one thought fists would ever get involved. How could we have known?

I remember the entire cafeteria going silent. One moment, the two colleagues had been arguing. Next thing we knew, Schwartzentruber was wearing Simmons' face around his arm like a bracelet. Fist went straight through. Nobody knew what to say. Hersberger just picked the brain matter from her hair. There was no finishing our dinner after something like that.

We all tried to write it off as an isolated incident, an unhinged employee who forgot his own strength in a moment of pure emotion. That illusion was shattered when reports started coming in from the other sites. Similar incidents were happening all over the world, and within a few weeks it wasn't just limited to SPC personnel. These arms were made for punching, and that's just what they did.

As time went on, it became harder for us to fight the itch. Punching bags were laughable at that point, so instead we invented punching blocks out of a titanium-concrete composite. Even fashioned them into the shape of selachians to help take the pain away, but it still wasn’t enough. Whenever we came close to a cure, someone would end up atomizing the equipment with a flick of the wrist and we'd have to start over.

Eventually, one day I walked into the cafeteria and found the floor covered in what must have been two inches of blood. I thought maybe a pipe had burst until I saw Bühler sitting on a table in the corner. Guy was slathered in viscera from top to bottom, and he was wearing human heads around his arms like they were snap bracelets. I asked if he wanted to talk, but he didn't answer. He just stared at his fists and trembled. Then, in the blink of an eye, he was dead, hole in his beefy chest so big I coulda driven my Grampy's Volvo through it.

That was what broke me, I think. I had never seen someone self-pugilate before. I didn't know how many people were still alive in Site-71, but I knew that I would not perpetuate the carnage. I gathered some medical supplies from the surgical augmentations lab and tied a tourniquet around my burgeoning, well-defined bicep. Carefully, I injected myself with the nearest substance that resembled an anesthetic and bid my guns goodbye.

Screaming, writhing, I hacked off my arm using only a pair of rusty toenail clippers. Needless to say, I was dizzy from pain, blood loss, and the 5 CCs of green apple daiquiri I'd injected myself with, but somehow I managed to drag myself back to the cafeteria to cauterize my stump in the kitchen's oven. Barely clinging to consciousness, I set the oven to preheat, wrapped my stump in a tent of foil, and stuck it inside, turning regularly to promote an even cauter and applying a light baste to keep it moist.

When the bleeding stopped, I went back and repeated the process with my other arm. The second time was harder, I think. With no free hands remaining, I was forced to grip the toenail clippers with my teeth. I also ran out of baste. It was the most agonizing experience I could ever possibly fathom, but here I am. Alive. My cannonball deltoids still ripple with pugilistic vigor now and then, but the stubs are too short to be lethal.

And that's it. That's my story. That's how I ended up here, barricaded alone in an underground facility, typing on a keyboard with my tongue. I haven't been able to get in touch with any other Centre sites, and I can't leave the building. Every day I lose a little more hope. My personal hygiene has suffered, too—partly because I can't look at a pair of clippers without bursting into tears. My toenails are getting really long now. I'll probably have to use a pair of scissors or something. I could even use that electric carving knife I got for my birthday. Hell, I think there's a chainsaw in the supply closet. No shortage of options, really.

Even if I'm alive now, there's no telling how long that will last. Sometimes I hear people punching on the reinforced doors, desperate to break in and claim another victim to slake their drunken punchlust. Someday they may succeed. There's enough food left around to keep me going a while, though just for a while. I've kept my mind occupied and my spirits up by watching Dr. Cavender's Walking Dead box sets, but I can feel that post-Season-Six quality drop looming just around the corner.

Maybe this was their plan all along. Maybe they just left the planet, knowing full well we'd destroy ourselves. Maybe when the last human has passed their final breath, the selachians will return from wherever they went and feast on our tight, sculpted corpses. Or maybe they're happier where they are now. Maybe they're not coming back. I hope that's not the case. As much as it pains me to say it: I miss them.

I miss sharks.

[23:19] DrTsega: With all the squats I've been doing, I could probably pop their heads between my fucking thighs.

[23:20] DrTsega: pop 'em just like cherries. hell yeah

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[mariajustinteriordesigns]

My Business During Corona + New Online Class - Coming Soon!

Hello friends, it’s so nice to sit here today with good tunes playing and my coffee nearby. I’m watching the ice rain (!) fall gently outside thinking, “Ok, the weather sucks, Corona is totally in “game-on” mode, so it’s the PERFECT time to improve a business and do what you’ve always wanted to do.”

Right? Oh yeah.

And this is exactly the truth. It’s time. There is no other time like the present, particularly with Corona, no vacations to plan or go on, no parties to attend or throw, holidays and birthdays are a bust, nothing to distract - you can’t even indulge in a little retail therapy… Yet there is a silver lining and it’s this: there is NO TIME LIKE NOW for figuring out what you want to be when you grow up or to level up your current business.

THERE IS NO DISTRACTION!

Yes, maybe the kids are homeschooling (my boy is only in school every other day for half a day), and you have a struggle getting time management down if you’re home with the children. I get that. I’m with you. Or perhaps you aren’t working as much and trying to make ends meet. Perhaps you ARE working but just damn sick of doing the same ole same ole. If that’s the case, maybe you have thought:

I SERIOUSLY NEED TO RUN A SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS FROM HOME.

Well, have you thought that?

You can.

I’ve been working from home since 2005. No joke. I resigned from my corporate job, back then I was earning 75K a year as a project manager. I resigned and made $0 for the first 3 months. But I started my blog, decor8, and within a year, I was earning what I made in corporate, and by the second year, I was earning double that, and now it’s been 15 years working freelance, running primarily a home-based one-woman show, and I’m 100% certain I can sustain this until retirement and beyond. I will always be an entrepreneur.

Yes, there have been some minor (and a current major speed bump) along the way, but the major speed bump came after nearly 15 years during 2020. It took a GLOBAL PANDEMIC to disrupt me and my business. A pandemic.

If Corona hadn’t occurred, I’d still be running my business securely as I have been for 15 years which means that if I can do it, so can you. And after Corona, we all WILL if we get it together NOW. At the moment, I’ve decided to pivot a bit. I’m using this precious time to really think about what I love, what I miss, what I don’t miss, and what I need going forward to make me, and decor8, better.

Here is what I’ve decided so far:

1 / I need to make my business more digitally-focused (and fun!) again.

2 / I want to be in closer touch with my people (all of you) because it fuels my creativity and makes me happy.

3/ I will write my 5th book, a big coffee table book, part two of DECORATE.

4/ I must get back to teaching, online and in-person because I taught online from 2009-2018, and before that, part of my job in corporate was as a trainer for 7 years, so it’s just part of my DNA to teach.

5/ Create something from HOLLY magazine that makes me happy and has value to all of you.

6/ Eventually build something brand new that I’ve never done before to mix-in, just to keep me entertained and happy. Maybe a retail shop (yeah, I know - of all things).

7/ Once fairs start, attend only 4-5 each year vs. 10+

8/ Launch online classes again because they are the heart of my heart and always brought me the most light and happiness.

9/ Be less shy of video and start doing my own, more and more, evolving it into something greater.

10/ Not accept being called an Influencer anymore (especially by brands), cutting myself out of that market altogether, because I don’t like what it conveys. I don't want to influence or force anyone, I want to represent, guide, teach, be known as a tastemaker even… But not an influencer. I’m far beyond that in my career, with my experience, and at my age. I don’t want to dance or sing on TikTok.

So that’s my list.

What things have you decided for yourself and your business for 2021 and even, beyond?

And what is your list? Can you share it below?

Next, in line no. 8 above, I’m relaunching Blogging Your Way online classes under a new name: decor8 courses. Very simple and directly related to my brand. Blogging Your Way evolved throughout the years to include styling classes, photography lessons, Instagram training and so much more than traditional blogging. It makes sense to rebrand simply as decor8 courses because then I don’t have to stick to one topic.

I also decided to create a community around decor8 courses so that my students can always stay logged in months after the class is over and talk to each other, and receive regular drips of content from me. Students will also have lifetime access to the class, and when I update the class modules for future students, they get all of the updates for free because it’s included in their one-time payment when they originally enroll in the class.

This means I also dissolved bloggingyourway.com and I dropped WordPress where the class had been built by my husband, and drop the forum on that site that he had worked to develop over the years. It’s over and I’m fine with it and so is he. He left decor8 in 2018, he was a partner from 2009 until 2018, but he went his own way with his business and I went my way. He does a lot of work for interesting brands, like Skandinavisk, and I’m happy for him - because he is usually what he was trained in and what he’s best at for brands that need him. He’s an expert at extracting data and making sense of it and as a result, helping businesses to really grow and thrive. Working together indefinitely was never part of our plan, it just sorta happened based on the urgency of the moment. My classes were hugely popular and I needed help and he was here, he is technically gifted, and so he became the go-to for managing my teaching “platform”.

With him out of the business, I had to consider how to rebuild the classes because WordPress and multiple plug-ins and having regular conversations with plug-in developers, etc. just wasn’t my thing. I shopped around and found two sites that will make my teaching dreams come true again, but on platforms that I am able to maintain. I understand the technology and actually used to build websites back in the good old days of coding in HTML, but a lot of changed since then, and I haven’t kept up with site builds and maintenance in so long, and server management, etc. that I definitely had to find an easy solution for running the new class site.

When the next class goes live for enrollment, if you want to get your business back in shape, or make your current business stronger and better, you really need to invest in this class. I mean, it’s gonna be the bomb. It’s not much of an investment at $329, but for some of you, it may be… And this is why I kept the course price low - so everyone who wants in can get in and if you sign up for my mailing list, you can get it for $50 off the enrollment so it’s only $279 for you.

SUBSCRIBE FOR $50 OFF

It would be easy for me to charge over $1,000 for it, because the new class will be better than any I’ve ever taught online - fuller, richer, more dynamic, more guest experts, lifetime access, a lifetime community (and no, not a Facebook group!), and just better all around. But for $329 ($279 with the code) you can experience something quite fantastic and loaded with all the help that you need to take your blog, Instagram and newsletters to the next level because really, these are THE three core channels, the foundation, of any successful online business and that’s why I’m kicking off the new decor8 courses with a class dedicated to those topics.

SO my dear friends… that’s an update from my home office to you. Wishing you much love and support in these difficult times. I’m here for you (always) and once the class is live, I’ll let you know and you can enroll and then, we can be together for 5 weeks and ROCK YOUR BUSINESS.

Love,

Holly

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[thetrashbang]

The Creeping Death Of Multiplayer’s Persistent Social Spaces

I didn’t hang out much as a teenager—or at least, I didn’t think I did. In fact, if you’d asked me to, I would’ve most likely looked at you like I was some distant intergalactic visitor from an alien society; the kind that doesn’t understand the concept of things like sleeping, or capitalism, or brunch. “’Hang… out’?” I would have asked, making sure to enunciate the quotation marks with as much feigned confusion as my tiresome pubescent whine could muster. “Like, just sit around somewhere? Why? What would we do?”

The subtext was intentionally clear: if it didn’t involve video games, I wasn’t interested. And yet, as obstinately, destructively anti-social as I was during this crucial developmental stage, the reality was that I had favourite hangout spots just like any awkward youth; a special variety of hangout spots that—thanks to the changing landscape of online multiplayer models—I now worry may be disappearing forever.

Shared virtual spaces aren’t anything new. Ever since the first mainframe programmers found themselves with too much time on their hands and not enough online pornography, people have been using computers to enter shared worlds, chat with one another, and (usually) kill things along the way. Client/server models—wherein a multitude of players connect to some central host machine responsible for running the game and maintaining its world—have endured since those primitive times, through the rise and fall of deathmatch, all the way up to the present day. The spaces have gotten larger, the rules have diversified, and the technology has become exponentially more complex, but the basic model remains popular, both on an abstract and practical level. In computer communications they call it ‘star topology’, because of the radial organisation of connections: a set of clients all linked to a common focal point, through which they act and communicate. Simple and reliable—well, as long as somebody doesn’t unplug the hub again, mum.

But what does ‘a server’ even mean these days, anyway? Contemporary online gaming has done so much to cushion its audiences from the fiddly details of its implementation that their role has become amorphous at best. For many games, ‘the servers’ are just the developer’s anonymous workhorses, of which everyone is vaguely aware but nobody ever sees; nameless machines working behind the scenes, providing temporary receptacles for a matchmaking algorithm to funnel players into. For all intents and purposes they’re totally interchangeable, distinguished only by their physical location. People file in, people play a game, and people file out. No muss, no fuss.

That wasn’t how Counter-Strike: Source did things, though.

No, it was quite a different story. Like many multiplayer shooters, the overwhelming majority of servers were operated by the community—often with their own customised map lists, rules and mods—and the only way to play was to explicitly pick one from a list. Crucially, this gave them distinct identities and distinct audiences, as they were always all-too eager to announce. “24/7 DUST2 NO SNIPERS” proclaimed one server name, promising endless no-nonsense shootybangs for the most vanilla of vanilla white boys. Names like “GunGame DeathMatch #1 | SKINS | STATS | RANKS” and “Lo-Grav ScoutzKnivez 100tick” jostled in the browser’s mix, alongside more mystifying and exotic options that would no doubt download hundreds of scrappy custom assets at the drop of a hat. Clan tags and URLs were proudly displayed, like club logos and sponsorship placards, signalling that their servers were not just a service delivered from on high; they were a product of people coming together, passing the money tin around, and carving out a space for themselves.

A space. That was what was most important. Not the physical space of a shelf on a server rack somewhere, or the transient virtual environments we’d perpetually pepper with bullet holes, but the abstract, persistent space of the server session itself, shared by every connected player. A space in which everyone is implicitly present and able to speak with one another, communicating through the chat box and an untold number of scratchy, low-quality, early-2000s headset microphones. With a matchmaking service, that nameless space only persists for the duration of the match before being recycled and lost forever, but when it has a name and an address, it becomes fixed; a point that people can find and return to again.

What happens when a space has all these qualities? When it’s available to many, appeals to a relative few, and has room for a few dozen at most? When it enables play and conversation, and allows them to coexist with minimal detriment to either? When it can be counted on—barring unexpected downtime at the hands of a cheap, disinterested server host—to always be exactly where you left it? A space like that can only take on the role of a focal point; a place of casual congregation. People drop in and drop out, some only staying for minutes at a time, but there are regulars in the mix; familiar names, recognisable avatars. People with nothing in particular to do and nowhere special to go, drifting in from school and work and heaven knows where else, ready to get back on a treadmill they’ve been turning for the better part of a decade. These spaces, these servers, were my hangout spots. They were the secluded cafeteria table, the climbing frame at the local park, the chalked-up goalposts on the wall behind the deli. Places that would give you something to talk about. Places that gave you an excuse to be there, for as long or as briefly as necessary.

It doesn’t feel quite right, waxing nostalgic about a period of my life when I so carelessly frittered my time away, learning nothing, scarcely developing as a person, ensconced in an atmosphere so masculine and juvenile that it’s a wonder it didn’t permanently turn me into the worst kind of gamer. And yet, it’s rare to experience such a natural sense of tight-knit community in the world of video games: no lobbies, no premediated arrangements, no guilds, no forum boards or profile pages, just people informally sharing a space, coming back again and again to a hub until they gradually get to know one another. Death in Counter-Strike is often swift, and—until the next round, at least—quite permanent, so it’s not uncommon to find yourself without much to do for the next few minutes besides spectating the remaining players and chatting with your fellow deceased. Here’s the guy who inexplicably snipes better when he’s drunk, and there’s the head admin who pops up once in a while to abuse his divine powers and fuck with people. Here comes the exhausting pre-pubescent kid who gets ritualistically teased, and over there is the guy who probably hacks but is too charismatic and fun-loving to ever ban. Did I form lasting friendships with any of them? Good lord, no. But they made for far more engaging playmates than complete strangers plucked arbitrarily from the matrix, and they couldn’t have become that without the common ground that the server provided.

For me, those days of inhabiting such a shared social space are gone; thrown into the dustbin of my teenage time-sinks alongside Runescape and habitual masturbation. Like many other people with fruitful, busy lives, I’ve grown to appreciate the convenience of being able to jump in a queue and just get a straightforward, uniform, as-intended multiplayer experience with people who are more-or-less appropriate competitors, no matter how thickly the dust has settled between sessions. But what is multiplayer when everyone’s either a total stranger or an established friend? What is multiplayer without any sense of place, or belonging? The prevalence of matchmaking systems, and the gradual shying away from community-run servers, has made online play more accessible—and rightfully so!—but the, temporal, fleeting, impersonal encounters they create are no social substitute for the virtual equivalent of the skate park outside Leederville station. We’ve wedged other systems into place to try and connect people across the treacherous, shifting waters—friend lists, teams, guilds, that sort of thing—but like many one-off secondary social networking solutions, they usually serve only to formalise connections already made through other means. “How do we play? Oh, right, I have to add you on this thing first. What’s your tag? Yeah, yeah, sent.”

None of this is necessarily an attempt to champion one thing over another: I don’t believe that the model of using servers as small-scale social hubs should supplant other multiplayer models, nor do I think that my endless hours spent being gunned down by the same few-dozen maladjusted young Australian men was a proper substitute for developing… y’know, actual social skills. Nevertheless, as with most tectonic shifts in gaming, it’s hard to shake the feeling that we’re not collectively fully aware of the significance of the baby currently riding out the door on a tide of bathwater. Multiplayer should be about people as much as it is about play, and as long as both are involved, there ought to be room for the chalked-up goalposts on the wall behind the deli.

[coolgreatwebsite]

Wonder Boy (2010)

Editor’s Note: This article is about a video, if you don’t want to read the whole history I’ve generously written out just for you (yes, you!) at least head to the very bottom and watch it because oh MAN. Also, very special thanks to the Something Awful Retro Game Thread’s Random Stranger for getting this whole nightmare snowball rolling with a lot of the initial info and digging.

I feel like making this post is just asking for the subject matter to disappear, but my desire to share this is too strong. If you’ve looked at this website before, you’ve probably realized I like old video games. I can’t say Wonder Boy has been a series I’ve cared about outside of finally playing and really liking Wonder Boy 3 and Monster World 4 semi-recently, but there’s one thing that’s kept the series in my mind for the past 4 or so years. Actually, I’m getting way ahead of myself here. Any of y’all remember Chakan the Forever Man?

Chakan is a real piece of shit Sega Genesis game that managed to be mildly successful mostly by just kinda being there while the system was hitting full steam in America. It managed to make enough of an impression that it still gets brought up in retro game discussions every so often, mostly in the context of “remember that trash fire?”, but there’s one person in particular who refuses to let the Forever Man die: Chakan’s creator, Robert A. Kraus.

I’m not sure how many people who ended up playing Chakan and never thinking about it again realized this, but it’s actually a licensed game based on a comic book series that started sometime in the 80s! The word is that Ecco the Dolphin creator Ed Annunziata met Kraus (or RAK, as he signs his work) at a comic convention and the two somehow ended up collaborating on a Genesis game from there. The game came out, Annunziata and the rest of the world moved on, but RAK remains dedicated to Chakan. And you know what? More power to him. His aggressively late-90s website’s Chakan section is packed full of attempts to keep the property relevant, from new comics to board games, and as much as I think Chakan is maybe not so great on any level I admire his drive. RAK is not who I’m here to talk about. The true subject of our particular story can be found within the weirdest attempt at making Chakan hit it big, the Chakan the Forever Man movie. Specifically, we're here to talk about its combination Star/Director/Writer/Producer/Editor. Enter Robin Morningstar.

There’s not really a clean “origin story” for Morningstar that I can find online, but the scarce info that is available pretty much tells you everything you need to know. His IMDB page attaches him to six movies, of which he is Actor/Writer/Producer/Editor/Director on five. His sole interview about the project paints a vivid picture of an undeservedly egotistical independent filmmaker, especially when combined with this deleted comment (fortunately preserved by Something Awful poster wa27). The only surviving image of the Chakan movie (above) looks like something my friends would have made in high school. All of this is funny, but admittedly not TOO crazy outside of the fact that someone decided to make a bad movie that can be sorta tied back to an obscure-ish Genesis game. But if you take a closer look at that IMDB page, that’s where things start to get interesting. The first film Robin Morningstar is attached to is... Wonder Boy? And his biography page (almost assuredly written by the man himself) says he worked on it with... Uwe Boll?!

I’m being a little anachronistic by putting in a picture that was only available after the fact, but the trailer was the first thing that was found and it doesn’t seem to be online anymore so it’s a stand-in for that. Anyway. Digging deeper initially raises more questions. If Boll was involved, why didn’t he get a director credit? The movie appears to be entirely computer generated and at a level of quality that almost seems like an actual joke, so how did he even factor into it at all? As usual, information is scarce but just enough is there to piece things together. First, and most importantly, a defunct print-to-order Amazon listing confirms that this does exist and isn’t some weird fever dream. The entry on Morningstar’s bio mentions the film was “jinxed”, and the film’s trivia section references a news story in Retro Gamer Magazine issue 51. A quick google search reveals the “news story” was actually an (EXTREMELY buckwild) interview with Morningstar from about two years before the film’s release that goes into how Morningstar and Boll were having trouble getting the Wonder Boy rights from Sega and Westone. Wonder Boy’s IMDB FAQ gives the final word, saying that Boll left the project after failing to secure the rights, leaving Morningstar to take the helm and release an unauthorized CGI version two years later that was still about Wonder Boy and also named Wonder Boy.

With that mystery solved and nothing beyond the trailer to be found, the Wonder Boy movie seemed doomed to the obscurity of a funny sequence of forum posts and the occasional outside person seeing the IMDB entry and going “wait, they made a Wonder Boy movie?” However, the sequence of discovering all of this formed a sort of unbreakable link between Chakan and the Wonder Boy movie in my mind. If I ever saw Chakan get brought up for some reason, I kind of HAD to say “oh hey, did you know the Chakan guy still makes Chakan and some weirdo made a Chakan movie and also a hellishly awful looking CGI Wonder Boy movie?” That would always be the first thing I’d think of.

Flash forward to today, where Chakan was mentioned in a Discord server I’m in. I did the usual “haha oh boy get a load of this” routine, only this time I couldn’t find the trailer. What I found instead was a “review” of the movie on YouTube, uploaded 10 months ago. It’s one of the most 1000% unfunny things I’ve ever seen so I’m not going to even link it, it splices in some footage of some Spanish show and fake subtitles over them and it’s just really not worth even glancing at. But I noticed it was using footage that wasn’t from the trailer. Then I saw it. At the bottom of the description, under the “show more” button, was a link to another YouTube video. An unlisted YouTube video on a different account, uploaded in 2015. It was lying hidden for two years. I’m so happy to finally say this.

Please enjoy the entirety of the 2010 feature length motion picture Wonder Boy.

[glopratchet]

001

Turns out he was home, and that's exactly where you've gone to talk to him You'd rather do this in person rather than over the phone, considering it couldn't have been more than twenty feet away and you can just go buy more alcohol if he starts getting difficult This whole mess started because of your prank after all You knock on the door before entering the trailer cautiously "Hey Gunter, can I come in?" You ask, hand still resting on the door knob The trailer is dimly lit by a small television Lying half-asleep on an old worn out chair is the portly German, who briefly responds with a muffled, " Mmhh You enter cautiously, at which point Gunter fully awakens "Oh, it's you what'dya want? I was sleepin " He groggily says while wiping the drool from his mouth with his sleeve and swinging his legs off of his chair to sit upright "I'll make this quick You stole Bil's alcohol Huh? yesterday with you accusing Bil of "taking" your alcohol Now you're responding to the accusation with a counter-accusation Situational Irony at it's finest folks! "Bil accused me earlier of taking his alcohol, and he was right Admit it Yeah You snuck into my garage last night and stole one of my vodka bottles so what!" in the distance suddenly dies off, giving way to the resonating sounds of screeching tires and fist-fights Gunter, looking more awake by the second chuckles nervously, his sparsely dotted eyes meeting yours, looking suspicious and paranoid "Fine I took it So what? I had a right!" "Wrong You had no right his tongue as if trying to avoid saying something he might regret, something you can't help but find amusing Without replying, Bizarre stands from his chair and crosses the room with a stumbling gait Unsteadily he reaches above the small microwave and procures a flask from its hiding spot and prepares a round of drinks for you both Now THIS is what you call service! You accept the drink, bottoms up! Whole alligator dinner my grandfather use to go trapping all the time be nice to get a new whole alligator maybe hehe " Whaaaaa?" Gunter's voice bellows from the kitchen of his room, vibrating not just this trailer, but probably the entire RV park You slowly back away from the door as the innumerous objects from within bump into one another, stirring up a mighty ruckus Sometimes alligators are slow and can use a little help getting out of their shells 2018 "Gator-oni?!" Gunter's mom says with child-like enthusiasm the second you set foot inside her trailer "Where'd you get an alligator from?" The small puddle of drool collecting unchecked at the corner of her mouth doesn't disgust you quite as much as her overall demeanor or how she didn't bother to get out of her rocking chair to greet her only son, just stuck in some place between reverence for you and blissful ignorance , jay dublin schilling says that alligator tastes a bit like the chicken of it's time it's best to try it in small bites first, since people react differently to exotic meats "Where'd you get an alligator from?" Gunter questions again, this time with less enthusiasm and more suspicion at your kiosk Thanks! Wholes all around! Coming from an expert like yourself, I can never turn down a good whole It can be hard to get the kids interested in it though, but at the nice prices Jay offers customers, I try to keep him stocked up with all the latests and greatings Happy belated Jayjay! "From Jay," ? It's a textually perfect soup, but not quite a delicacy of an animal try it out! What's your background? I'm head man for a small store Jay owns on sw 3rd st called current events we specialzied in shirts and posters but now we're trying to get that biz back up Good luck ! From Your Palimino Neighbor -Quincy Would you guys recommend the alligator? Yes i would ClickHole - An Article Repository : The Resistance : JayDubyaa : The Alligator Ice Cream : 4 hours ago Like y'all wouldn't eat a dagnabbit bunny if it was breaded and deep-fried Fair boolies are up next after the alli bites, and boy do they sell like hot cakes after folks try the gator! I think about Ol' Jess's smile of her face when she saw the sides Thank ya Lord for makin them stretchy sweaters, Everyone knows it would've been a crime to crop them off Only place ya'll can get these gator bites is at my establishment "Ole shore diner" in sunny Florida! That's right its been shipped all the way up from the swamps of Ellis! Only the finest or is that fishedest for you guys! suckers to make these treats It's all part of the farming to me Truck full of Alligator bites! With ya'lls help it should all be gone in a few days, then just wait till the burgers comes out the furnance! Just think outside the bun and your good to go!Would you guys recommend the alligator? so it ain't chicken! So your saying it tastes like chicken? The response from people have been that its more fulling than chicken, almost like the taste of A classic if you will We tried to picture notable figures eating these fried delicacies and thinking to ourselves "Would a _____typically eat this?" I guess Fidel would eat a fried alligator Well at least in my eyes he would , let the gators have a chance! Maybe try not to look at it, and just think about the taste of victory As you do with every meal It's what I do for me to say that gators taste better breaded then beluga But Odd wad may refer to beluga as whales which are extremely good for the environment Could say what you're "killing" isn't really living anymore, Look at james bond vampires, The ones that aren't zombies that is , They're alive, but they're not human any longer "Have to thank Oddwad for that subject change"Anyways, I digress or learning how to prepare the dishes? I just like eating them what can I say, I AM THE ONLY ONE THAT APPROVES OF ME WELL MAYBE A specifically a Goon Thank you for caring though Ive been doing this since before Jesus was born! Today the gospel according to Matt Was edited a little bit by Ol' Steve himself Hindsight is always 20/20 isn't it Goons! or about the new item manipulation commands? Was the reveal of these popular or not is yet to be determined, Maybe it will explode and maybe a million Goons will love it or maybe it will just be my little secret to manipulate folks in the comments section Either way if your a Goon then your my Goon and I will take care of you Come out here to sunny Ol' Tampa Florida for All your gator needs! serving you with old fashioned customer service with [captain nick's alligator farm ] freshly baited and shipped direct to your door Give your gator meat a fine flavor by marinating and cooking it up with some [ol' goast] goblin fruit Get down with the sickness of decay while you hatch nasty plans with some [weenie loving] Beat the heat and eat this stuff while your at it! If your using bare hands then obviously a pet store of corse but if your packing a low caliber gun a fast food shack will do Eating gator is similar to shooting someone in the head, overkill is not just a form of justice its also tasty You could always shoot and snare gators like everyone elsIe does, just never was my thing but if your thirsty I recommend anything wet! [the boogoti basics of alligator dinner delivery] ! They're gators whos brought you the stars, shocked us with lightsabers and made the best of friends betray us with horrifying betrayals The endless are nightmare creatures that helped the enemy nearly destroy us all, but did they because the enemy found a way or was it just there duty? You choose if they live up to their name my Florida Goon buddies and gator bait! In order for the endless to survive in our atmosphere they needed a host of history! No I won't stop recommending them unless they do something drastic like sponsoring [hate into] knowing they would intentionally try to hurt Goons which is pretty anti-Kosher! Was it the DE that tried to kill us all? Was it an angry human? Was it Mother Nature putting us back in our place (yeah right!) Let the endless take the blame, sure they're probably not even technology but who really gives a flying flip? ! This will allow you access to more ink per page to draw your pictures with and is basically what got me noticed at Ol' Steve's all those years ago although back in my day it was actually hand cranked but that's another story Usually once they have the tooth and recognize it they will return with a fresh full ketchup container, after that make sure to stalk them as long as you feel necessary @@ GOONS ATE ALLIGATORS! Shoot the biggest gator you can on your hunt! Isn't bigger just better? tooth while hunting! Did you find a miniature tooth or an oversized one? Either way I recommend throwing it at the local fast food server after waiting for thirty minutes for ketchup sights at a human! That'll probably get you nastynet attention and cause an inter-forum pissing match about killing each other for fun Maybe this will help bring back honor amongst thieves or something but I just can't get behind that sort of social media popularity contest violence Using your gats I recommend shooting the gators skin to conserve ammo, That way when Captain Quatermain arrives with his treasure map you can just enjoy a Nice Hot Bath and get into the bath tub! Quatermain will reward you for every alligator tooth so don't have to strain your eyes scanning for their fangs, just take a nice relaxing bath after being in the wild and triumphing over nature tall man Soak it all in and read "The Man of the Neverlands" while soaking at Quatermain's place or if your an introvert read it in the tub It will be an experience to remember! to take with you! 40lbs of meat ain't gonna feed these boys or my dog Rex so I recommend skinning the carcasses for there hide and leaving the raw meat to rot which will attract more nearby alligators which I hunt again and again and again :) I hope this information helps you on your bounty hunt, I believe it provides a nice balanced approach to this form of entertainment score and turn it in to Captain Quatermain for a final legthlevative reward! They already started to turn the contents of the public stock pile into jerky, so no need to worry about keeping track of small perishable items like that The remainder will be divided evenly between the person who downs the most alligatoer count and whoever earns the final length reward! count and final reward RE: Miami : The hunt begins - Zalmora - 12-09-2017 05:01 PM Ideas sure, but thes ain't ideas MA! RE: Miami : The hunt begins - Boss 302 - 12-12-2017 09:30 PM (12-09-2017 05:01 PM) Zalmora Wrote: Ideas sure, but thes ain't ideas MA! service! 100lbs of meat just for turning in the kill count and lair location of the hunt that's one idea :) RE: Miami : The hunt begins - Zalmora - 12-12-2017 10:31 PM (12-12-2017 09:30 PM) Boss 302 Wrote: Odd wad alligator dinner delovery service! got an eatery in mind? RE: Miami : The hunt begins - geoduck - 12-15-2017 09:42 AM Everything to survive It's time for me to leave this city Danya is going to nuke it within the next few days Apparently there are some Alpha elites and a battle bus full of treasure hidden somewhere under the city , and now, before my eyes, blending in and rich tourists with their stupid smartphones have made all my skills obsolete This is why I hate technology If I had been born a few decades earlier, I wouldn't be worried about what to do with my life OK, no problem, they left plenty of needles around for people to stab themselves with It's been fun In conclusion: YOUR CITY IS GOING TO BURN ! Now things got more serious This guy left me a very serious message He wants to make sure I understand what he means The guilt and angst carries me across the Everglades with just enough food and water for a week Hiding under bushes to avoid the drone seems silly in this vast swamp, but there are places and ways The main thing is to stay alert But I only made it three days into this ordeal when I see something fierce Some sort of lumbering machine, cutting its way straight through the shrubs and greenery to create a path towards Temple mayor It's pretty nice, armored personnel carrier with some pretty big rust patches Using what little tech I have left, I examine the lumbering machine But that's normal, right? Otherwise it hasn't been used for seventy years! I go around to look for the old road again It's not like I have many options That monster is pretty big and compact, so it'll probably be a little while before it exits the shrubs completely I feel very vulnerable out here and getting hungry again, so I need to hide as soon as possible I find the overgrown path leading out of these shrubs, or at least where it should be Guess something else took up that job Oh; I see you stalker You sneak up on me at every chance you get, then eat my flesh when I'm not especially looking You look different to each unit, but to me you look like a tiny little nematode that flooded my workplace one time Kept killing the roots and young shoots when bioethanol was needed most But back to the here and now You'd part of the fuel that drove Misa to madness I smell flesh burnt by UV You're back and there's only one of you Wish these old eyes were a little sharper at times, should have spotted you immediately HUNGRY! RE: Miami : The hunt begins - Hopecrusher - 12-15-2017 10:25 AM Not good Your overview paint scheme is a dead giveaway after all Still managed to surprise me and that's not easy Hey wait, OWT does some of our hiring ever thought about working in security? Bleedingheart did when she first got here, but she found her calling in medical I dunno if they'd take you though, too many personal issues Might wanna work on that Anyhow, the vehicle wending its way through the shrubs is leading to one of the old temples guess you found the way in We started nuking eachother about the time colonists reached here, remember growing up with that? Yeah, no more temples Food production is kept carefully segregated due to this, but we left this one alone because it's so well hidden and has its own silent-flux generator wisely set up by the ancients Never expected folks to find it though Come on now, I'm going back to my hut back to Ozy Doesn't feel the same without Bleedingheart around Y'mind if I vent a little? Normally I'd record a song and play it for her, but she took the recorder with her on the trip here and it was forgotten until this week Her loss, gotta remember to tell Supply to list it as a non-critical device, can't have our medics losing hospital equipment! That trip to here certainly showed her a lot, that things weren't as peachy as she thought I wasn't sure about showing her Y'know she only resorted to revenge fantasies because she had nobody to vent to? Nobody to help process things, like when we were yanking arms off gangers or executing people for sport Really hate thissense of loss right now I'm going on Wonder if this was part of the reason Tom wanted isolation Guess happenings like these are good lessons, but I dunno, we should be absolutely sure next time Now I'm feeling guilty too Not that his plan worked Hey, let me play something for ya RE: Miami : The hunt begins - Green Eye - 12-15-2017 10:39 AM That hallway had to lead somewhere important Not like someone would just build a dead end in a hideout Like a secret panel! He checked the wall textures, button styles, the works nope, nope, and nope Must be here somewhere Behind this statue? Nope In the torch? ! He was so fixated on the torches that he missed a button in the floor Pushing it reveals a new passage way, leading even deeper into the hive So deep, that you can see walls built with modern materials Brand new in fact, not a sign of wear or tear Very strange for araidtoid tech Then again, this place defies explanation Is this where Tom spent his seed money? You press onward, ready for whatever lies beyond Hey! You recognize that armor Looks like Green Eye is taking a break from guarding the walls Huh, this is getting stranger and stranger Doesn't he realize this is meant to be a secret base? Oh wait, you're wearing stealth armor "Hey Green Eye, got any sal-- Oof!" You run into him before you can finish your sentence "Watch it, fool! Oh, hey you? What're you doing here?"

[clubofinfo]

Expert: Hey, ol’ pal. Yeah, it’s me. We’re alone here. Nobody reads anything here. Google and Facebook bury it so nobody sees it but unpersons like me and a couple paranoiac deviants like you. This is the next best thing to high-latency messaging over the invisible internet. Virtually tête-à-tête. You remember me. And as for you, oh, we remember you, all right. Not that you’re well known, but you’re best known for exulting over 9/11. The 3,000 deaths, the flailing victims falling for long seconds, the tens of thousands wasting, riddled with cancer, the torture, the crimes of aggression, put all that in a Big Bucket and you’re the Colonel Sanders of it, grinning on the label. We know what you meant: Oh boy, money for the beltway bandits, arms and legs and carte blanche for the spooks! You’re still teed up as the poster boy for ghoulish depravity, symbol of a criminal regime. A monster, hostis humani generis, headline perp of Nuremberg II. Who better than you to take over when the USA collapses? Now keep an open mind here. Did I ever shit you in those punchy late-night sessions of hurry-up-and-wait? Locked in those places, converted monasteries or robber-baron lairs or barrel vaults or founding-slaver homesteads, you say what you think, right? Let’s talk turkey now. Sure, your old bosses at NSA will suck this up into their server farms… and they will lose it. They’ll never find it till you’ve done your dirty work. Then it will be too late. Your bosses see you as a steady hand, the kind of slavering psycho who will stop at nothing, who’ll depopulate the world for attaboys or shits and grins. You’re just the kind of guy they trust. That’s important, because some of the things you will do will destroy all your past employers, including, but not limited to, the US government. Wouldn’t it be a hoot to get credit for that? It’s the ultimate stab in the back. One last career-crowning betrayal. Turn on a dime and ruin everything you did all your life, to universal acclaim. From Lavrenti Beria to Nelson Mandela in a month. I’m telling you this not because you are a great man, fit to take the reins of history at a crucial juncture. I am not even calling you a good or decent man. You’re a crazy beady-eyed prick. That’s the beauty part. You’ll do. After all, who knows better than us how to demolish a country? Knock it over, rip it apart, wreck its defense industrial base? Did we not pile on and help do it to the Soviet Union, the biggest country of them all? For us to do it to the rickety laughingstock USA is child’s play. Hell, even I could do it, and I’m rusty. It’ll be like old times. A tweak of the finger at just the right time, and rumble rumble crash, it’s gone. The NATO bloc is going the way of the Warsaw Pact, rotting from the outside in. Just as with the Warsaw Pact and COMECON, gormless coercion by the hegemon provokes increasing tension between hard-line and soft-line satellites. The UK has cut itself adrift from Europe and the runt of the P-5 litter will disappear further up the USA’s asshole. Germany’s voracious trade surplus immiserizes Southern Europe and revives Ostpolitik in pursuit of scarce productive investment. No one wants your useless weapons or your tank parades, except for a few of your bribed crooks in each satellite state. Your European satrapy is crazed with deepening cracks. It’s déjà vu all over again: Tsipras is NATO’s Dubchek. May is NATO’s Honecker, Corbin NATO’s Mielke. Orban is NATO’s Grósz. They’re pulling away and pulling apart, and the cracks will propagate across the Atlantic in a familiar process. The US lost its last friend long ago, and it’s eking out its dwindling influence with threats and bribes and blackmail. But there’s worse to come. You’ve lost your last enemy. China and Russia have brought the US government to heel with the only thing you beltway vermin understand: the threat of hypersonic nonballistic missiles jinking unstoppably at you from all directions. They can decapitate the US government, free its subject population. They know exactly where to poke to make your C3 systems fail. They won the war before it even started. The Russians call it coercion to peace. Peace is lethal to regimes like the US. We both know what triggered the implosion of the Soviet bloc: it lost its enemies. With the triumph of their nuclear disarmament pact, everyone was avid to get out and see the world. Their restlessness ended their patience with their parasitic states. Even in the hard-line satellite states, the police state collapsed under public loathing. East Germany’s Stasi had a meticulously-detailed Schild plan to intern thousands of dissidents, down to the gnat’s-ass detail of duplicate keys for home locks and access/egress routes for midnight home invasions. But the Stasi never got around to executing Schild. They were too busy shredding the records of their crimes. The government fell too fast for them. For all the jingling of keys in Wenceslaus Square, for all the public happiness overflowing Dresden and Leipzig and breaching the wall, it was insiders who euthanized their own regimes. Mielke put his own head in the oven, saying, “Ich liebe doch alle, alle Menschen” to riotous laughter. The Czechoslovak Politburo quit and the successor state dismembered itself without a peep. Ceausescu’s festive liquidation was a consummate inside job. Now it’s your turn. You’re going to pull the plug. Don’t be nervous; like I said, this pitch might as well be sitting in Aldritch Ames’ PIPE dead drop. Don’t give me this But-but-but-Why? You know why. There Is No Alternative. If you don’t do it, someone else will. Your rogue state is already caught; you’ll just stop resisting. Having ratified three of the core human rights instruments, US foreign affairs have turned into a treadmill of concerted world demands for more and more directed reforms. Compliance weakens your grip at home. Failure to comply erodes your soft power abroad, and your military power is increasingly useless, kept within strict bounds by Russia and China. As a commissar in a floundering successor state of the USA, the hated parasitic city-state of Washington, DC, you know your piece of the disintegrating regime will need recognition as a sovereign state. The alternative is gradual ruin in a failed pariah state, beggared by autarky, crippled by countermeasures to decades of breached obligations. Recognition requires three agreements: the UN Charter, the International Bill of Human Rights, and the Rome Statute. You remember, this is how it happens. In the pancaking rubble of the USSR, the Russians had no time to dick around with institutions. Forget old-time liberty bell constitutional-convention nonsense. COMECON technocrats grabbed in panic for the first support in reach. And what was that? The Helsinki Final Act. Like all its other regional and international counterparts, the Helsinki Final Act was designed with fiendish ingenuity like one of those sticky mouse traps – get a foot stuck, push off and get another foot stuck, get your face stuck, fall down, squirm around till you’re all wrapped up, there’s no way out. One commitment leads to another and another and another until your police state is trapped like a rat, never to escape. Just chuck it out and let it starve and dry-rot. That is what you will do too — step into the trap. Like any ordinary UN pissant, a sort of North Togo or New Nauru, any hope of influence or standing will depend on your country’s accession to the Rome Statute and the International Bill of Human Rights. The Rome Statute will cripple the criminal enterprise at the heart of the US regime, the CIA. The International Criminal Court itself is just another forum. The guts of the agreement is a binding commitment to extradite or prosecute your criminals. If you don’t hold up your end, any country can step in and round them up for you. No more springing Robert Lady out of jail when he kidnaps innocents for torture. No more giving torturer Gina Haspel the DCI’s get-out-of-jail-free-card, or putting judge robes on torturers to queer the law to save themselves. The Rome Statute dispels what remains of your kleptocracy, the criminals of CIA. But why would CIA give up their impunity and relinquish dictatorial control over this state? Because that’s their only hope of bygones being bygones. The Committee Against Torture has sicced the world on the CIA high command. The Human Rights Committee has initiated follow-on procedures for urgent issues arising from CIA crimes. UN special procedures and charter bodies have characterized CIA torture as serious, systematic and widespread, crossing the threshold for crimes against humanity and giving UN member nations erga omnes responsibility to stop and punish CIA’s grave crimes. The prosecutions will not stop with torture. CIA tortured to fabricate war propaganda in a common plan and conspiracy for war, Nuremberg Count 1, in pursuit of which CIA attacked civilian populations at home and abroad. The subsequent wars complete the inchoate crimes against peace. Aggression just became a crime under ICC jurisdiction but for this, the gravest of crimes, that doesn’t matter. The legal precedent sets out the rule: you should have known, this is Nuremberg Count 2. You can watch the pit stains spreading in the DDO’s shop. The squeeze on CIA is now a crisis: at the summit of July 2018, Russia publicly invoked a mutual legal assistance treaty1 to investigate US intelligence officials and their dotted-line reports in law enforcement. This is Russia, an independent great power, not some bought-and-paid-for US satellite. They have sources and methods of their own. The exceptionally competent Russian security services are not bound by the bureaucratic red tape that puts CIA crimes out of reach of any US court. Insider human rights defenders will have someone to turn to. Under treaty provisions including questioning, search, seizure, and transfer, Russia can dig up the fabricated secret evidence behind CIA war propaganda, the same war propaganda that CIA uses to attack the US president. Russia and the elected US head of state know CIA threatens them both. In the International Court of Justice Russia can demand reparation, restitution, compensation, or satisfaction for CIA’s internationally wrongful acts: war propaganda, for instance, in breach of ICCPR Article 20; or great-Power confrontation and human rights distortion breaching the peremptory norms of A/Res/36/103. Judicially-imposed satisfaction may end CIA impunity. Russia could designate individuals for prosecution. Russia could even insist on the command responsibility demanded by the Human Rights Committee, the Convention Against Torture, and other treaty bodies, charter bodies, and UN special procedures, and put Brennan, Clapper, Gates, and Haspel in the dock. You see the reaction now. We’ve never seen anything like this choreographed mass hysteria over routine diplomacy. CIA pulled out all the stops and Wisner’s mighty Wurlitzer is blaring treason and high crimes. CIA is demanding, and getting, public professions of abject faith in their honor and integrity. They put their politicians and party apparatchiks through loyalty tests, making them recite anti-Russian war propaganda as an unquestionable creed. And you know what’s behind it: Duly-constituted governments including our own are acting collectively to curb CIA’s transnational organized crime. We haven’t seen that since CIA shot Kennedy for trying it with Khrushchev. Back then CIA forced the Warren Commission to deny their blatant coup with the threat of nuclear war against Russia. We’re at that point again. They can’t stop at coup d’état. They have to risk a war to keep their crimes bottled up safe from international criminal law. That war will be CIA’s last war, because they will not win it. Look at Brennan. Think he’ll go down fighting? Think he’s going to shoot Kathy and eat a gun in his Hitler bunker? Of course not. He’s a pantywaist. He’ll go quietly. CIA’s ancien régime established 1949 has got to go. The International Bill of Human Rights will put your government under independent oversight. What your bribed and blackmailed Congressional asskissers cannot do, human rights review processes can. The Human Rights Committee has been raking the US over the coals ever since it joined. The US ran from ECOSOC, so they never had a chance to corrupt it. Your government quit the Human Rights Council in a huff because it was out of your control but now, with no share in its authority, you must still submit to Universal Periodic Review. Your citizens will go over the government’s heads to the world if you try to wriggle out of state commitments. All right, then. Ready to get it over with? Good. How do you take the leap? Like so. Remember how you force-fed Congress with the PATRIOT Act? Do it again, this time with something short and sweet. If any of your legislators drag their feet, call in some favors and break a little of that anthrax out of the vault. CIA has lots of new illegal germs these days. It probably won’t even come to that. Congress is gelded, you gelded them. The guys you worked with at NSA have the records of them taking bribes and orders from Israeli spies. Your old coworkers at CIA have videos of them raping trafficked children at Little Saint James or Musha Cay, or roughhousing on the Ohio State wrestling mat with youngsters, or whatnot – there’s always something, some sturdy ring in their nose, or they wouldn’t be in Congress. Drop this bill on their desks, or not, and sit them down to vote on it. They’ll know what to do. They remember what CIA did to Daschle and Leahy. § 1. The Sovereignty Act The purpose of this act is to meet state obligations and commitments requisite to the sovereignty of the United States of America or its successor states (the States). * This section executes the United Nations Charter without reservations and extends an open invitation to all thematic special procedures of the Human Rights Council to undertake country visits. As UN member nations the States will invoke the rights of Article 27(3) solely in voting on measures taken under UN Charter Chapter 7. * This section executes the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights (ICCPR) and withdraws all reservations, accepting the competence of the Committee under Article 41, and ratifies and executes the Optional Protocol ICCPR-OP1 of 16 December 1966 without reservations. * This section ratifies and executes the International Covenant of Economic, Social, and Cultural Rights without reservations, and ratifies and executes the Optional Protocol ICESCR-OP of 10 December 2008 without reservations. * This section executes the Convention Against Torture (CAT), withdrawing all reservations and recognizing the competence of the Committee Against Torture in accordance with CAT Articles 21 and 22, and ratifies and executes the optional protocol OP-CAT of 18 December 2002 without reservations. * This section executes the Convention to End Racial Discrimination (CERD), withdrawing all reservations, and recognizes the competence of the Committee in accordance with CERD Article 14. * This section ratifies and executes the Rome Statute of the International Criminal Court. * This section directs courts at all levels to interpret or void existing public law and statutes to bring domestic law at all levels into conformity with the instruments referenced in sections 1 through 6 inclusive, and with the common-law rights of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and other universal human rights instruments. Courts shall interpret the referenced instruments in good faith in compliance with the Vienna Convention on the Law of Treaties, and with the general comments and conclusions and recommendations of cognizant treaty or charter bodies. In case of conflict or inconsistency between domestic law and the referenced instruments or other universal human rights instruments, universal human rights instruments shall govern without exception. * This section invokes US Constitution Article 5 to reconstruct institutions and powers at all levels of government with the sole purpose of respecting, protecting, and fulfilling the obligations and commitments undertaken in this statute in accordance with the Limburg Principles (UN doc. E/CN.4/1987/17, Annex) and the Paris Principles (A/RES/48/134). Congress will issue a proposal not later than 14 days after passage of this act. US state legislatures or conventions declining to ratify the Congressional proposal shall be released from obligations of the constitution as amended. End §.2 See? You forked the US Constitution. You’re leaving, with anyone who wants to tag along, and if Texas doesn’t like it, you’ve got the nukes (You’re going to give them up, of course, like your underdeveloped peers the Ukies and the Kazakhs did before you.) As for the new constitution, you’ll stuff that down Congress’ throat too, two weeks later. Don’t overthink it, it’s not that important. Maybe just copy the Russian constitution, it’s a big step up. Article 17 of the Russian Constitution says “in the Russian Federation rights and freedoms of person and citizen are recognized and guaranteed pursuant to the generally recognized principles and norms of international law and in accordance with this Constitution.” Article 18 states that rights and freedoms of the person and citizen are directly applicable. That prohibits the kind of bad-faith tricks the USA pulls, like declaring “non-self executing” treaties, or making legally void reservations, declarations, understandings, and provisos to screw you out of your rights. Article 46(3) guarantees citizens a constitutional right to appeal to inter-State bodies for the protection of human rights and freedoms if internal legal redress has been exhausted. Ratified international treaties supersede any domestic legislation stipulating otherwise. You’ll have to get used to having all your human rights, not just the niggardly hind-tit worthless US Bill of Rights. Whatever you do, you’re going to end up ratifying all the core human rights conventions. You could put them all into your Sovereignty Act, but why not keep it short and sweet? There’s enough treaty law in there now to get your new nation firmly on the hook. You’re going to pledge allegiance to all the peremptory norms, the non-intervention principle, friendly relations, pacta sunt servanda. Don’t whine about it, this is nothing. Look what hapless Eastern European pismires have to swallow to join the EU: the 170,000-page acquis communautaire. Get with a few short treaties and declarations, and you can join the civilized world. But then you’re just another UN member nation. The UN won’t be the passive presidential backdrop you’re used to. If they ever do let you onto the Security Council, no one’s going to give you a veto. The world has learned their lesson. No one from this land mass will ever get their hands on Article 27(3) again. You mention the veto in your Sovereignty Act only to make it clear you know the UN is there to stop wars, not start them. That’s the only way they’re going to let you in. With no US veto to stop them, the world will undertake a long-needed rewrite of the Charter to tighten it up and close all the crooked loopholes US delegates put in. Individual Americans can take part, but as independent international civil servants, not as government apparatchiks. The Supreme Court might not like it. If not, it’s like Cheney said to Leahy, Go fuck yourself. They’re the global laughingstock of apex courts. You string up nine crooked party hacks, Who cares? That’s lost in history’s white noise. The most destructive nation in history is submitting to the rule of law, effecting the world’s universal human right to peace. Russia fought a discreet civil war of a few thousand casualties to go straight, and no one blames them. You’re going to supplant that marble cesspool anyway with a National Human Rights Institution in accordance with the Paris Principles. The Human Rights Council will make you — Want a seat on the Council, on ECOSOC, on the bench of the World Court? You’ll do what it takes. You can put them out to pasture at Cibolo Creek Ranch alla Scalia. Next comes the transitional justice. You’ll like this part. Put on your Mister Rogers slippers and hang ‘em high. Everyone will understand. They know what you’re up against: a totalitarian state culture indoctrinated to exalt violence of every sort. Extirpating that is going to take more than peace and love and kumbaya. Just think of it as focusing mass loathing on the juiciest, most repugnant sacrificial victims to keep the kleptocrats and secret police cowed. Your culprits will be different: not traditional American blacks or addicts or lonely schizoids but bankers, killer cops, CIA torturers and spies, FBI secret police, war propagandists, government student-loan usurers, or industry moles abusing government powers. Pour encourager les autres you may want to hold off ratifying ICCPR-OP2. If there’s any grumbling from the old guard, the Siracusa Principles can wait. I know this is your favorite part but don’t overdo it. Remember, this is a transition. Hands off the touchy-feely parts like reconciliation. You know that sort of thing is not your strong suit. Die Abwicklung of the CIA police state will go out of your control, and that’s OK. The outside world takes over and opens up your closed society. People change their minds. You’re out of the woods, you can relax. You’ve averted CIA’s holocidal nuclear war. Go ahead and treat yourself with fireworks – take a stack of those nuclear bombs the Russians neutralized, and shoot them off in near-earth orbit. Blow up Mount Rushmore with one, the crowds will go wild. They’ll be storming CIA and NSA and the Hoover Building to look at their surveillance files, defiling flags, toppling or decorating statues; CONUS will be one big block party. And presiding over it, beaming benignantly with gentle saintly spreading forth of hands, is you. Ride it off into the sunset of elder-statesman glory. If you can keep a straight face it will be the best in-joke in history. * Signed at Moscow June 17, 1999. * Get cracking, here are the General Comments and The Limburg Principles explaining core universal human rights instruments. http://clubof.info/

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