#then christmas eve I get the fucking flu

[shower-phantom-ideas]

Like always cold? Maybe his ghost half is keeping his human half too cold. Like a deep cold he can’t ever get warmed from? His body is working double time to try and keep him warm so he eats a lot more to keep up with the energy burned.

Or never cold. His ghost half now makes him immune to the cold and he just can’t feel it? Shorts in the snow with a tanktop kinda guy. His ghost core is keeping his body temp down but also his ghost powers have combined with his every cell to change him on a molecular level. He could feel the cold if he had control over this power but I doubt he will ever figure that out. Just a “oh I don’t feel cold anymore. Neat” kinda vibe and never try to actually correct it. I like to think his skin would still turn blue if exposed to extreme cold but thats just me

[tteokdoroki]

*ੈ🌩️‧₊˚— through the storm, there’s always you + katsuki bakugou.

૮˶ᵕ ༝ᵕ˶ა synopsis — the one in which katsuki bakugou hates the winter, until you bring him a gift that changes his mind for the better.

⭑ warnings — please read + mdni ! characters aged up, fluff, strangers to lovers, mentions of injury, mentions of hospitals, pregnancy & birth ( non - descriptive ), winter babies, wholesome family content, not beta read ! - fem!reader, pro-hero!bakugou.

⭑ words — 1.8K.

⭑ notes — hi !!! merry christmas if you celebrate and happy holidays to those who don’t !! i hope you’re all keeping well and safe. here’s a little drabble for your troubles since i’m working on something longer that’ll hopefully be out in the new year !! so this isn’t beta read and i hope you enjoy !! mwah - m.list ✩

katsuki had always hated the weather around christmas time. 

as a kid it meant being stuffed into itchy, scratchy sweaters that matched with stupid deku’s and being forced into what seemed like hours of pointless christmas card photo shoots tucked in next to the green haired, green eyed wimp. it meant mitsuki dragging him out of the comfort of his all night sheets early on December 25th to swap presents— her loud, irritating voice booming out Christmas carols with the words sung wrong as his pops set up a hearty breakfast and plucked wrapping paper from between the spikes of a young bakugou’s blonde hair.

back then, mitsuki would pull the cruel joke of putting coal in the younger’s stocking for a laugh and in response katsuki would hide all of her hurts to make it look like she had none. 

in middle school, katsuki spent most of his winter break running over school choices— learning the curriculum inside and out so that he could get into U.A. friends, family gatherings, festive…none of them mattered to him as much as his aspirations did, but he still helped masaru decorate the house and put up the tree— lit the fire because he didn’t run as hot as other people during the colder season. he hardly saw his friends, his posse, his entourage, whatever they were. they didn’t understand what it was like to work for something, to want to succeed…to make sacrifices. these were people katsuki didn’t need.

when christmas roll around at UA, katsuki felt like he was really part of something for the first time. his friends, kirishima and kaminari especially, begged him to cook the dinner— getting permission from aizawa after school to buy the ingredients, clinging onto his arms to keep him warm while asking him what went in what, affectionately pissing him off. 

there’d been a gift exchange too, and he’d tried to brush it off when his group of little misfits had presented him with a few exclusive allmight merchandise that hadn’t been collectible since he was a kid. ‘thanks,’ he’d mumbled, brushing an arm over his eyes in away that covered up the tears brewing in them. ‘idiots.’ aside from the celebrations and the small twinkle of happiness being surrounded by his classmates brought him— winter still sucked for bakugou. he’d discovered his quirk didn’t quite work the same, that he’d need to train a hundred times harder to be just as efficient as his peers during the flu season if he were to succeed and become a top hero like he’d promised himself as a kid. his hero costume required form fitting sleeves and a collar up to his neck that made him think back to that time where that villain had almost ended his life and he wasn’t quite strong enough to escape its reach. 

bakugou fucking hated the winter because of it.

the Christmas season starts to become even more intolerable once katsuki breaks onto the scene as rookie pro hero dynamight. he gets stuck with all the bullshit patrols like the Black Friday sales and Christmas eve last minute rushes for gifts because he’s not quite high enough on the ranks for the ‘real’ work yet. it’s fine, the blonde tells himself, anythin’ to get higher up  in the ranks. spreading the holiday spirit isn’t exactly his forte but the singles without families to go home to for the festives seemingly love spotting the desirable and explosive hero stalking the city streets, and it does wonders for his reputation too.

after bakugou’s first year as a rookie, do things pick up. he gets his first villain attack on december 24th, a simple robbery that he gets to handle all on his own— the prick’s quirk is fast moving, strong and nearly wipes the blonde out in one clear shot, sending him flying into the nearest building while other rookies evacuate the scene. 

“m-mister…uh, dynamight? a-are you okay?” 

your voice had been soft, your face the first thing he had scene when his vision realigned. blood trickled down the roundness if your cheeks, features aglow from the fires his quirk had set to your building— your humble little tailoring shop that he’d noticed was usually buzzing with customers  on patrol. “i uh— you hit your head pretty hard sir a-and there’s a villain outside— i don’t think you can fight it like this—“ you’d tried to explain in a hurry, the situation now obvious as bakugou’s head lay in your lap. 

groaning, he’d wanted to pull away from you get back up and take the damn villain down but before he could even move it’s quirk had sent another blast in the direction of your precious shop. one minute, bakugou’s life is flashing before his eyes and the next an invisible shield flies up in front of you both, protecting you from whatever impact had been coming. “‘m goin’ back out there,” bakugou told you sternly, gathering himself back up. there was no way a civilian should be doing his job, he should be protecting you, not the other way around. “stay fuckin’ put, till i get back. then we’re goin’ to a hospital.” 

turns out, you were great at following orders, by the time bakugou had taken out the perpetrator— you were more than willing to go with him to the hospital to get your injuries checked out. he stayed with you the entire time, he owed it to you at least. you’d saved his life, and sacrificed your shop but uttered not a word of complaint in response. and in the winter days that followed the incident, he visited and brought flowers and sat with you— learning about you, learning to love you right into the new year. 

bakugou’s spirits towards winter and Christmas had certainly changed since then. well into his thirties with achy joints, silvering hair and a stomach that’s a little less toned than it used to be— dynamight sits perched on the highest of buildings, a com mic pressed into his slightly muted ear. “ai’ght fuckers, let’s get this over with. the wife’s given me only a couple hours b’fore she can’t hold on any longer.” he grunts to his fellow heroes, ready to take down their annual Christmas robbery. 

it couldn’t have come at a worse time, katsuki promising you that he wouldn’t be working on the holiday for the sake of your kids— who needed their father just one day out of the year. you’d wrapped him up extra tight, a homemade scarf you’d worked on in the last few months slipped softly around his neck as you scolded him for taking up over time when he should have been with you, with his family.

“you got it kacchan,” izuku chuckles from his end of the line— positioned some ways away, his eyes also on the target. “operation kacchan’s home for Christmas is a go.” 

“agreed. i do not like it when mrs.bakugou is angry.” todoroki chimes in plainly, also accompanying the childhood duo on their mission.

“then keep yer eyes on the fuckin’ target— the sooner we can get my ass home t’what really matters this Christmas!” the blonde scolds his long time friends, rolling eyes eyes fondly as he sets his eyes on the target who‘d ripped him away from his family.

“daddy! you’re late!” 

katsuki’s oldest just barely looks up from her phone— a gift from last year— as he rushes into the hospital waiting room still decked out in his ashy hero gear. kayako bakugou still accepts the kiss to her forehead from her father and the ruffle to her blonde curls once he’s close enough. she has his hair, the colour of his eyes but the shape of her features are undoubtedly yours— the perfect blend of two people completely and utterly in love. 

his vermilion gaze shoots to his son, kuzki— a quiet little boy who’s not quite like the rest of the bakugou bunch but equally as loving and as precious to dynamight himself. “sorry ya guys have to be here on Christmas Day, s’late too,” the man pinches his kid’s cheek, kazuki squirming happily, albeit a bit sleepy. “we can open presents later, after i see momma.” 

“s’okay papa! nana mitsuki got us candy!” he squeals, the eldest bakugou hiding her nose in her magazine at her mention. 

“ma!” 

“what?” she huffs back, nodding her head towards the door. “you don’t have time to have a go at me, katsuki. your wife is waiting for you.” 

both of the bakugou kids get a smooch on their foreheads, and mitsuki the middle finger ( discreetly and in his head because he won’t risk getting his ass kicked by his own mother in front of his offspring ). he stalks his way into your private hospital room, keeping his clunky steps unusually quiet as he spots you resting in your bed. 

“you’re lucky, she just fed and was about to go down for a nap, but it seems like she was waiting for a certain someone.” you coo but you’re not looking at your husband, instead at the tiny bundle of joy wriggling about in her swaddle, laying in your arms. 

the elder blonde approaches the two of you, curling an arm immediately— soothed by your warmth which sends the chill of winter straight out of him. “she?” bakugou questions, too tentatively for a man with such a misshapen and rough exterior. you pass the little baby girl off to him, letting him take in the scent of baby powder and fresh linen. “god, she’s pretty. just like her momma, huh?” 

“think that’s all you, kats, you know these bakugou genes wait for no one,” you breathe your words out in exhaustion, but a smile stays strong in your face like the blistering winds outside. “thirteen hours of labour and she still couldn’t wait for daddy.”

“‘m sorry i couldn’t be there, stupid fuckin’—“ the baby stirs in his hold, growing fussy as if she already knows the signature forbidden word of the bakugou household. “stupid freakin’ deku held us up at the mission ‘n i tried my best t’get here..” bakugou loses his words, staring at his his newborn princess with so much love in the world— she’s tiny in his arms, gargling sleepily as he bounces her, standing to walk the room with his new little girl and showing her the snowfall. 

the three of you are entranced by the first glimmer of the crystalline weather— the room swimming with a contrasting warmth that katsuki can bear to stand because it’s not a frosted winter. it’s a perfect love. his own oasis away from the cold. “s’okay kats, she just wanted to be the best christmas gift you could have asked for,” you murmur. “our perfect little christmas gift.” 

katsuki bakugou hums in agreement, watching eyes the colour of your own but the shape of his flutter with tiredness for the first time being out in the new world. and now with his little treasure, his darling daughter and absolute labour of love— katsuki bakugou is able to state his reason for finally finding appreciation for winter after all this time.

“merry christmas, princess.” he says to her wistfully. “and to you too, m’love.” 

“merry christmas, kats.” you whisper back, your voice to him like a call through the storm.

[roseharpermaxwell]

RWRB FirstPrince Holiday Recs

Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Eve - click below for my favorites.

I Don't Know About You, But I'm Feeling... by @iboatedhere. T, 794 words. Four birthdays in Alex's life.

it was the fourth of july (you and i were fireworks) by dreakawa. G, 1k. Alex has always loved fireworks. They were loud and bright and beautiful; in a way, he felt at peace among them.

Tonight, though.

Tonight, Alex watches in amazement as his roommate and best friend, Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, gazes up at the display, his big blue eyes taking it all in, lips curved in a gummy smile that takes up his entire face, and oh.

Alex isn't watching the show.

Alex is watching Henry.

love, we begin by rizcriz. T, 1.1k. Henry loves his best friend. Absolutely adores Pez for all he’s worth and then some. But current circumstances have left him with a deep sense of loathing that cannot be outweighed by his hatred for any other thing in existence. In fact, Henry hates Pez so much right now that he wishes they’d never met.

All this to say, it’s two minutes to New Years, Henry’s at a party with only one person he knows—who has very much abandoned him— and is surrounded by horny women eyeing him like he’s going to be their magical prince in shining armor New Years kiss.

or, Henry gets a New Years kiss.

kiss me, and tell me that i’ll see you again by fxckingeyelashes. T, 2k. “Forgive me if I’m being too forward, but are you into guys perhaps? I’d like to know if I have a chance.”

“A chance at what?” Alex raises his eyebrows. It’s only then that he notices the rainbow G A Y under Henry’s name.

“A chance to be your new year’s kiss.”

(you can start) a family who will always show you love by @waterloolovers. T, 2.1k. “Confetti eggs.”

“Cascarones, but yes,” Alex grins, “I’ll give you a pass since your Spanish is a bit tragic.”

“Rude.” Henry rolls his eyes fondly. “So you just… chase each other around and try to smash eggs on each other? Seems rather messy with confetti going everywhere.”

“It’s very messy, but that’s the fun part of it. It’s meant to bring good fortune for the rest of the year."

The Spirit of Giving by @cha-melodius. T, 2.3k. His practice tamales come out pretty damned good, if he says so himself, and the ones for the holiday party are going to be even better. Alex is confident now that there’s no way his won’t be the best dish a the whole potluck; he’s definitely going to win (and no, he doesn’t care that you can’t ‘win’ a potluck, June).

(1 million words challenge holiday edition, prompt: “My holiday dish is better than your holiday dish.”)

Speaking my Language by HMS_Chill. G, 2.3k. Prompt:

"Alex always saying sweet things to Henry in Spanish but won't tell him what any of it means, and he's always google translating them and awe-ing at how cute Alex is and then like maybe he learns how to say something adorable to and says it to Alex and Alex just like melts or something"

one of your girls. by seafloor. M, 2.4k. New Years Eve; three years later. An hour before midnight.

Santa, Tell Me by @harrysglasses. G, 2.5k. Henry receives a very special gift from his office Secret Santa and is determined to find out who it's from.

we play all day (and spread holiday cheer) by headabovethewater. E, 2.5k. Nora guffaws. “You fucked Santa’s Elf?!”

“I mean,” Alex pauses and shrugs, “not with the costume on, obviously.”

“I can’t fucking believe you,” Nora exclaims, her hands cupping her own face in disbelief. She looks over Alex’s shoulder and cocks an eyebrow, before she lowers her hands and her tone, and asks, “Since when do you have a thing for blondes?”

I'll Have a Flu Christmas by @three-drink-amy. G, 2.7k. Plans go awry when Alex comes down with the flu right before Christmas while Henry waits for him to fly over and meet him in England. Prepared to spend Christmas sick and alone, Alex doesn't expect Henry to take matters into his own hands.

i think i'm falling for you by WaterlooLovers. T, 2.8k. Henry blinks at the man. He’s thankful the rink is fairly dark, only disco lights and black lights surrounding them, so the man can’t see the blush on his cheeks. The man is gorgeous, and still holding his waist, and Henry might be hallucinating. Maybe he did crack his skull on the hard rink floor. “Um.”

Trick or Kiss by @hillerskas. NR, 2.9k. Henry’s been here for ten minutes and he’s already causing Alex to feel some feelings. He supposes Henry has made him a bit scared with his costume, but not in the god given Halloween way he should.

Or, Alex is throwing the Halloween party of the year and can't quite figure out why the Prince of England is haunting his every thought.

onward to adventure by rizcriz. T, 3k. Some men would call Henry a fool.

He’s standing at a bar an hour to midnight in a packed nightclub on New Years Eve hoping to catch sight of a man he’s met all of once. Perhaps fool is too lighthearted a word for what he is. Foolishly optimistic—though, he’s never been deemed the optimistic sort before, he supposes there’s a first for everything.

Some people, people like Pez, who are standing watch—or, rather, dancing watch from a respectable distance away—call Henry a reformed fool. Because the fool part came a year ago when he let the world’s most perfect match disappear into a crowd and out of Henry’s life with the promise of returning in a year.

May Your New Years Dreams Come True by chamel. T, 3.1k. “In fact, I’d wager money my date will by far be the hottest there.”

Hunter scoffs, which honestly Henry doesn’t understand. It’s not like Alex hasn’t pulled in some real lookers to previous years’ parties, much to Henry’s chagrin. “Really? You want to bet?”

Alex shrugs. “Sure.”

“Henry,” Hunter says suddenly, finally—and unfortunately—acknowledging that he’s actually been standing there the whole time. “You want in on this?”

(1 million words challenge holiday edition, prompt: "Competition to see who can bring the hottest date to the New Year’s party")

you and me, forevermore by @theprinceandagcd. T, 3.1k. "He pushes up on his toes to kiss Henry, who returns the kiss immediately, greedily, tongue brushing against his in a way that makes Alex's brain short circuit just as much as it did a year ago.

A year ago.

It still does something to him, stirs something deep inside him that makes his entire body feel like pure mush. It's a memory burned so bright in his mind - cold air, a buzz in his veins, a tree in a quiet garden, fingers gripping his face, soft lips against his.

The night his world turned on its axis and shifted toward Henry, altering his path and forever tilting him closer."

Or, Alex and Henry on New Year's Eve, one year after their first, and Alex wants it to be special.

don't let me get drunk again by @getmehighonmagic. E, 3.1k. Alex had never wanted to cancel plans as much as he had while watching Henry pull a pair of light wash, tight jeans over his stockinged legs and bare ass.

Christ, he’s getting hard thinking about it now.

Merry Christmas, Darling by lucy_in_the_sky. E, 3.2k. Alex and Henry's first Christmas together as a couple. Just some good ol' fashioned Christmas smut

Wherever you are, as ever I remain by gallifreyandglowclouds. M, 3.4k. 'It’s transparently a lie, and he shouldn’t lie to Alex, but he can’t help it in the moment. He so badly wants everything to just be fine, to love this new life without a foot stuck in the old one.'

Henry can't help but feel a little homesick during his first Christmas in Brooklyn.

stars by the pocketful by weather_stained. T, 3.7k. Henry is having a terrible Halloween, so terrible that he completely forgets it even is Halloween until Alex shows up at his door asking to borrow a prop for June's costume.

Though Henry opts out of June's Halloween party, Alex makes sure he doesn't spend the holiday alone.

Call It Even by @smc-27. T, 3.7k. Alex shrugs. “I’ll go with you.”

Terrible, terrible, no good idea.

Too bad his mouth works faster than his brain. Which is…another thing he wishes to not think about. His mouth, and Alex, and all the things he could do to that man.

“All right.”

Fuck.

(aka: henry needs a +1 for a holiday party. his roommate offers.)

Help Yourself to Happiness by ronans. NR, 3.8k. ‘So you’re taking the post down, I assume? Now we’re both sober and in control of our impulses?’

Pez barks a laugh. ‘Absolutely not.’

‘I know we discussed the very real possibility that I would cry myself into oblivion without you here singing horrendously off key Christmas carols, but… isn’t this a little… desperate?’

‘I’m willing to see where this will take us, aren’t you?’ Pez asks, raising an eyebrow.

‘Says the man who would be safely out of the country after setting his best friend up with a potential murderer.’

Pez levels him with a look and then picks up Henry’s phone. ‘How many polos did he play?’ Pez turns the screen around so Henry can see the comment. ‘Does that sound like a person with murderous tendencies?’

Henry snatches the phone back. ‘This is a terrible idea.’

Or, A drunken night leads to Pez posting on Reddit, calling on any singles in the area to help Henry be a little less lonely this Christmas.

to see myself in someone’s eyes by saintsnames. G, 4.4k. five fathers, five father’s days

or: a father’s day each in the lives of oscar, arthur, leo, henry, and alex

I'm not gay, but my apparel is by @clottedcreamfudge. T, 4.5k. “I’m not a salesman,” Alex points out, coming out from behind the counter and rolling up his sleeves. “I’m a purveyor of oddities, curiosities, and intrigue.”

“Yes, I saw your sign.”

“And now here we are,” Alex says, gesturing grandly and expansively to the space around him.

“Here we are,” the man says softly, then pulls one hand out of his coat pocket and holds it out to Alex. “Henry Fox-Mountchristen. I would like to purchase an oddity, curiosity, or an item of intrigue.”

you bring blue lights to dreams by headabovethewater. E, 4.5k. When Alex pulls him a bit closer and kisses him again, he thinks he sees a flash of blue peek through the opening in Henry’s shirt, but he ignores the thrill that travels down his spine and shrugs it off. Wishful thinking, he’s sure.

Or, Henry surprises Alex as they celebrate New Year's Eve together.

baby, be mine by strwbrryfox. T, 4.8k. five times alex asks henry to be his valentine and one time henry beats him to it ♥️

many times, many ways by @littlemisskittentoes. M, 4.8k. The thing is, Alex knows he can’t replace the bittersweet wave of memories that swarm Henry’s head at the sight of snow flurries and smell of peppermint in the air. He doesn’t want to. He wants Henry to keep those close, even if it is through the sepia tone of melancholy.

But Alex can’t help but wonder if maybe he can find a way to balance poignancy with something a bit easier. Something a little bit lighter. Something Henry can revisit to understand where he belongs, how he fits into the “happy” of it all any time he needs.

He looks over to Henry, finally asleep against his chest. He takes in the gentle slope of Henry’s nose, the fluttered fan of eyelashes against moon-bathed cheeks. He fixates on the subtle canyon, the soft part of Henry’s lips, the phantom wind of a silent snore, and Alex knows: the very least he can do is try.

or, holidays have always come as a reminder to Henry of what he’s lost. But Alex always manages to remind him of everything he’s gained too.

Ink it in on my skin, sign me up, make it last against the time by @hgejfmw-hgejhsf. E, 5.2k. “Okay, then,” Alex says, and Henry can’t help but smile at the hint of mischief creeping into his voice, “there’s two weeks until Valentine’s Day. We each have that long to make it happen, and we’ll do a big reveal that night. Deal?” Flecks of gold are shimmering in his copper eyes. Henry leans forward, catching Alex’s lips to seal their accord.

“Agreed.”

OR

Alex and Henry both decide to get tattoos.

I must tell you what you will not ask by @lizzie-bennetdarcy. E, 5.3k. Henry's plans for Christmas fall through, so Alex invites him home for the holidays. They're best friends, strictly platonic roommates, so why does everyone think they're dating?

Have you ever been alone in a crowded room? by @hgejfmw-hgejhsf. T, 5.4k. When the Legendary Balls-Out Bananas White House Trio New Year's Eve Party is interrupted by a security threat, Henry, Pez, Nora, June, and Alex find themselves locked in the White House library for their own protection with nothing but time, a few bottles of champagne, and some lighthearted conversation, until a single question threatens to change everything for Henry.

You and Me, Forevermore by milowren. NR, 5.6k. When Henry gets sick a few days after Christmas, he and Alex end up celebrating New Year's together in a different way than they planned.

Red, White, and British Blues by lucy_in_the_sky. E, 5.6k. Instead of the warm Texan sun, today Alex wakes up to an English chill. Instead of a lively barbecue packed with friends and family, he and Henry are scheduled to attend a state banquet later in the afternoon.

Again, he tries to not be disappointed. It’s just, he was really looking forward to a chance to take a break from all this nonsense for the weekend.

God bless the USA, or whatever.

where every wish comes true by @hypnostheory. E, 6k. “Locked out?”

“I forgot my keys,” Alex says with a sigh, leaning against his door with a muted shiver. He was planning on a heated Uber ride to June’s apartment, not standing out in the cold ass hallway. Alex hugs his coat closer to his chest. “My friend has my spare.”

Henry nods, leaning against his own door frame. Alex isn’t sure what the man does outside of going to grad school at NYU, but it must be bench-pressing horses based on the size of his biceps. Henry reaches up to push his glasses higher on his nose and Alex swears he wasn’t that bisexual when the day started. “Would you like to wait in my apartment for your friend?”

Alex gets locked out his apartment on Christmas Eve. He's forced to take refuge in his neighbor and occasional fuck buddy Henry's apartment, and together the two get into the Christmas spirit with the help of a festive costume and a silk ribbon.

The Honeymoon Suite by clottedcreamfudge. E, 6.1k. Henry's plane is grounded, which is absolutely fine, and not at all the worst possible outcome on Christmas Eve when he should already be on his way to London. Alex's plane is also grounded, but fortunately for his leggy British co-worker, he's a generous soul who's happy to share the room he managed to bag at a local hotel while they wait for their new flights.

So, so generous.

Baby, it's Halloween and we can be anything by sheisraging. E, 6.3k. Alex is furious. More furious than he should be about the whole thing, but still. Plans were made. Money was spent. Costumes were purchased—not even rented—purchased!

it's in the stars, it's who we are by @indomitable-love. E, 6.4k. 'Henry pulls back with wide, startled eyes, releases him roughly and staggers backwards. He lets out a mumbled curse and turns on his heel, and Alex has just enough of something still firing in his brain to reach out and catch Henry’s wrist. Just enough awareness of the fact that Henry is about to run, to say, ‘No, wait,’ before he can disappear through the snow.'

or, the AU where Henry doesn't run after the New Year's Eve kiss.

Re: Inappropriate Festive Party Conduct [Sent with High Importance!] by @largepeachicedtea. E, 6.5k.

Alex has changed his suit into something soft-looking and appropriately red, though the white shirt with the holly pin is still there, now accompanied by a trail of sparkly tinsel around his neck like a festive scarf. He’s holding a whiskey glass in one hand, leaning into something Nora is saying, and looks positively lethal. “Christ,” Henry mutters through a gulp of cider. “He looks good,” Pez agrees through a cheshire grin. “He always looks good,” Henry says. “Right now, he looks–” “Henry! Pez!” “Fuck.” “Alexander!” Pez hollers. “Babes!”

—

An office holiday party AU where Alex and Henry ignore the first rule of corporate festivities: Don't hook up with your coworker.

Ho for the Holidays by @whimsymanaged. E, 6.8k. “Listen, don’t worry about this,” Henry says quickly, already mentally crafting the passive-aggressive text he’s going to send Pez. “Better luck next year. I’ll just be off—“

“Hold your damn horses.” Alex stops Henry with a fast, surprisingly gentle hand to his wrist. His eyebrows furrow. “What did you put on your questionnaire?”

Henry’s ears go hot. “That’s none of your business.”

Alex scoffs and leans in closer. “Baby, we matched. It’s safe to say we have at least some interests in common. Be honest—was it because you confessed to having a secret desire to slap me?”

Or, Pez organizes an event called Ho for the Holidays, and these two idiots get paired up.

all my time is yours to spend by smc_27. T, 6.8k. Any way you look at it, Bea is not meant to be here, and if it were just the lights, he’d assume she forgot to turn them off. The fire burning is another thing entirely. The weather has been dreadful, and perhaps her flight was canceled. Surely, she’d have told him as much.

He should investigate.

Waffles & Conversation by clottedcreamfudge. E, 7k. “I’m fine, I swear. I just need to give it a proper clean and I’ll be fine.”

Ellen isn’t convinced. “Okay, but you’re letting Henry look at it later.”

Alex grits his teeth for what must be the thousandth time today and tries to keep his voice level. “No, I’m not. He’s a vet, mom.”

“And he’s the closest thing to a doctor we have coming tonight,” she says firmly, letting him take his hand back and raising her eyebrows at him. “It’s that or the ER, honey. Your choice.”

You're the Perfect Gift for Me by @cha-melodius. T, 7.2k. “Twenty-one-year-old Scotch,” the man says with a low whistle, looking more impressed than anything else. “Special occasion or just expensive taste?”

Alex can’t stop his grimace. “Came up here to propose,” he says, even though this random stranger doesn’t need to hear his woes. “Found out my girlfriend’s getting back together with her high school sweetheart.”

“Ouch,” the man replies, the word sounding slightly absurd in his rounded, posh accent. He looks at the bartender. “Leave the bottle.”

(Dumped two days before Christmas by his girlfriend, Alex meets a British writer who's spending Christmas on his own in generic Tiny Town, USA, and together they discover something new to celebrate.)

Snowed In? Snow Problem by @rmd-writes. E, 7.3k. The challenge: to write a fun college AU for the queen of college AUs (though she’ll probably be mad at me for saying so). Bonus points for also including the only one bed and getting caught doing something sus tropes.

The result: hopefully all of the above, plus they’re snowed in for the holidays.

AKA Henry and Alex get snowed in at their dorm for the holidays, whatever will they do?

It's Not Thanksgiving Without the Turkeys by allmylovesatonce. M, 7.5k. Thanksgiving 2020, Alex invites Henry to join the Claremont-Diaz family for Thanksgiving. More than anything, they're excited for another excuse to be together.

(Valen)Tie Me Up by @happinessofthepursuit. E, 7.7k. “Well, I actually made your gift at one of Pez’s workshops, though I’m sure they would’ve gotten it out of me anyway,” Henry says, voice fond.

Alex’s mind is whirring, going through the monthly calendars from Seize the Play. Pez leads classes multiple times a week, but there’s only a few that Henry could’ve attended, and one in particular that would explain his own gift…

“Which one?” Alex asks.

“I think that’ll immediately be clear.”

Or, Alex and Henry exchange gifts for their first Valentine’s together—then proceed to use them.

you make it look so easy, i know it's not by @anincompletelist. T, 7.9k. Bea’s to his left, speaking frantically on the phone with who Henry hopes is the fire brigade or someone else trained to deal with these— situations. In front of him, Pez is fumbling frustratedly with the water hose, showcasing his colorful vocabulary with a flourish of jerky hand movements and chaotic pacing. On either side of the fence, his neighbors are peaking over the sides to ask if everything’s okay, and Henry feels the resolution to make a good first impression crumbling and slipping rapidly out of his grasp. Even David watches on from inside the house, his sage eyes and patriotic bowtie appraising the scene and looking back to Henry as if to say I told you so.

And the fryer — the fryer itself is up in flames, thick gray smoke swirling up into the air and soaring high above the tree line now. In the distance, the echo of sirens. Henry may faint right here, in the middle of his backyard at his new home before he's even unpacked, with all the neighbors and his family and friends watching on, on his first official American Thanksgiving. It is, by all means, not what he’d envisioned for the day.

everything ever written about love by greenandmoss. E, 8.4k.

“Bet you’re glad you knocked on this door.”

“I am, actually.” Smiles should not be this disarming. It’s disconcerting.

It’s like they’re in a movie, where all the lines are pre-written, and the smiles and the looks all mean something. The couple are scripted to catch eyes, and fall in love with each other the second their lips touch. But that’s fucking ridiculous. Henry sits there like some kind of James-Bond-Jude-Law heartthrob, and Alex’s life is not a movie. This is not how real life plays out.

Or: The Holiday au but it's just that one scene where Cameron Diaz meets Jude Law

Save a Horse, Ride a Princess by @affectionatelyrs. E, 8.6k. “I have to say, this is all quite literal, don’t you think?”

Alex wouldn’t know literal right now if it hit him in the head. “Huh?”

Henry points at Alex: “Pillow Princess,” and then to himself: “Cowboy. Ready to ride and all that.”

Alex nods dumbly. “Right.”

Or, Alex and Henry dress up as the ultimate couples costume for Halloween — themselves — and they both feel some kind of way about it

the world watched (and the world smiled) by fangirl6202. M, 9.1k. "Oh,” Alex says finally, faintly, touching one hand to his lips. Then: “Shit.” 

His mind catches up then, realizing that Henry is walking away and he doesn't even think twice. He begins to quite literally chase after him, trying to get to him before he can get away or, God forbid, try to fly back to England and ghost him. 

Henry is very pointedly not looking at him, stuttering apology over apology until Alex has to quite literally throw himself in front of him to get him to stop. Alex doesn’t know what to do. But the answer is simple, isn’t it? So fucking simple.

 

He takes Prince Fucking Charming’s lapels into his hand and kisses him back. 

Or; it's New Years, and Henry stays.

more than you could ever know by indomitablelove. T, 9.5k. He watches Alex’s bright smile as he talks to Bea and Leo, the way that Ellen and Catherine have their heads bent close together and how Nora is talking with Pez, Oscar and June. He feels something catch in his throat, something blooming in his chest with such strength that it threatens to burst its way out. He never, in a million years, thought he would have this.

this year i will fall by @rmd-writes. E, 9.8k. Henry has many regrets in his life, but leaving the ice rink after a literal run in with the potential love of his life without even obtaining his name may be his biggest. With his family visiting for the holidays for the first time and ever-present work deadlines looming, he's too busy to think about how to engineer his own happy ending worthy of the novels he edits.

But what if fate has other ideas?

Ye Merry Gentlemen by allmylovesatonce. M, 9.9k. Across three different years, at different points in their lives, Alex and Henry celebrate Christmas together.

On My Mind (Let's Go) by @sparklepocalypse. E, 10k. Pez blows into his hands and rubs them together to warm them. “Listen. Just… whatever happens in there, say yes, alright?”

“I don’t follow,” Henry says, his brow furrowing. “Say yes to what?”

“Whatever opportunity comes knocking,” Pez says breezily. “You forget, I’ve seen your messages. The booze is flowing tonight, and everyone’s got their best fit on – so opportunity will knock, and you will say yes.”

(A movieverse New Year's Eve fix-it that started as crack and turned into crack taken seriously. With dancing. And smut. Like... a lot of smut.)

Someone Special by bleedingballroomfloor. E, 10k. "That was Shaan," Henry explains as Alex snuggles closer to him, pressing his nose to his neck. "The blizzard hit early, apparently. Too risky to fly."

"So Christmas here?" Alex says in that sleepy drawl of his that Henry will never get tired of. "Fuckin' sweet."

Happy NY by @myheartalivewrites. E, 11k. “Hi,” he says, and Henry looks into his eyes, taking in the brown colour and little flecks of black and gold that give it depth; the tiny freckles dotted across his nose and cheekbones, only a shade or two darker than his deep bronze skin. “Uh, sorry about that,” the man says, but he doesn’t step out of Henry’s arms. Instead his eyebrows go up, and his expression changes, from one of embarrassment to something Henry thinks is surprise, and maybe, ever so hopefully, a little bit of interest.

would you wait for me? by smc_27. T, 11k. Henry Fox has made Alex nervous from the second they met.

Now it’s different. Now Alex has to try and find a shirt to wear to a party where he’ll inevitably see Henry for the first time in a year. For the first time since Alex’s heart was broken and he’d made what felt like the brave and smart decision and left.

Coming back might be a mistake.

Gonna Give You Something (So You Know What’s on My Mind) by @affectionatelyrs. E, 11k. Alex hums, turning around to pull open the freezer drawer. “You want anything?”

But Henry barely registers his question. Not when Alex is slightly bent over, allowing Henry a perfect view of his perfect ass. Each individual ridge of his spine is visible due to his lack of shirt. All of these things combined would normally be a large enough issue in itself to render Henry dumbstruck, except—

Except, that’s not the only thing that Henry’s faced with.

Right there, clear as day: blue lace, delicately peeking out from the waistband of his joggers. Henry’s hand immediately flies up to his cheek. The skin is hot to the touch, and he feels the imprint of where the material once lay like a brand.

Or, With the help of a white elephant gift, Henry learns that maybe the whole being-in-love-with-his-roommate thing isn’t as one-sided as he thought

Love and Hate at the Farmers' Market by myheartalive. T, 11k. Alex and Henry both work at a farmers' market and they hate each other, until suddenly— oops! They don't!

(Secret) Santa Baby by @indomitable-love. E, 11k. "When it comes to Secret Santa, Alex really does have a reputation to uphold. Everybody wants Alex to get them. Nobody actually wants to get Alex, which is why he usually ends up with novelty socks or a political biography, but he doesn’t care. Ultimately, everybody wants Alex to get their name. And right now, Alex is seconds away from finding out who his new mark is. The person that he’s going to spend the next few weeks learning inside and out to ensure that he gets them the perfect gift."

Alex gets his work nemesis, Henry, in the office Secret Santa and realises that he doesn't know nearly as much about him as he thought...

Trim my Christmas tree by @clottedcreamfudge. E, 12k. Henry is a writer, not a mall Santa, but unfortunately this year - thanks to his adorable and conniving nieces and their Aunt Beatrice - he's going to have to be both. This doesn't leave him a great deal of time to pine horribly over the part-time bookseller and Law student over at June Claremont-Diaz's shop, but somehow he manages to jam it in anyway.

Ho ho ho.

i'll be home for christmas by @dumbpeachjuice. M, 12k. He books a tiny cottage in a village called Little Snoring (not to be confused with the nearby Great Snoring) somewhere in Norfolk and tries to tell himself Christmas by himself in a foreign country is going to be an adventure from which he will have an adorable story to tell his friends and family, and not just totally depressing. At the very least he can take a cute picture of his snowy cottage and pretend he’s not totally fucking jealous of his entire family gathering in Austin without him.

If he ever fucking gets there, that is.

Or, Alex's first Christmas in the UK gets ruined by the British weather. A handsome stranger invites him to spend the holiday with his family instead.

The Holiday by @dracowillhearaboutthis. E, 13k. Henry is in no mood to attend his family's holiday gathering this year. So when June Claremont-Diaz asks him via a Home Swap website whether or not his house is free over the holidays, he jumps at the opportunity to escape the country and his family for the holidays.

He did not include Alex into the calculation - June's charming and gorgeous brother who suddenly appears at her doorstep.

Airplane Mode by clottedcreamfudge. E, 14k. Getting into an argument with someone in the airport lounge had probably been a mistake, in hindsight; Alex knows this. But with so many fucking delays and the fact that the signal on his phone is currently making it about as useful as two paper cups joined by a piece of string, he’s kind of on-edge. It’s not entirely his fault that he snaps.

Attractive people with perfect hair who take the last almond croissant before Alex can get to it probably just need to understand this. Alex is at the end of his tether, and he will not be swayed by, “Well, I was here first,” in a British accent so smooth it could butter bread.

Home for the Holidays by lucy_in_the_sky. E, 14k. “How would you feel about maybe spending Christmas in Texas with me and my family?” He bites his lip after popping the question.

Henry’s eyebrows shoot up. But before Alex can regret asking, a soft smile blossoms on his face.

“I want you there with me. I- I wanted you there this week, too-” Alex starts to ramble. “And, like, it’s totally ok if you want to go to England to be with your family, duh, but I’d love to show you Austin and introduce you to my family and teach you the Claremont-Diaz holiday traditions and kiss you on Christmas morning and-”

He’s cut off by the hard press of Henry’s lips against his own.

“Yeah?” Alex beams.

“Yes, love. Of course yes.”

Sweet Dreams of Holly and Ribbon by @villiageidiot. T, 14k. He falls asleep on the loveseat, Nora and June curled up on the couch across from him, as a terrible Hallmark Christmas film plays in the background. It’s the fourth night of sleeping alone—Henry taking care of some business back in the palace—and he’d rather wake up cold and cramped across from the two of them than alone in his own bed.

That’s how Alex falls asleep.

That is not how he wakes up.

A Fine Line by indomitablelove. E, 15k. Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Whatever is inescapable. In the worst way possible. He’s always fucking there. Alex turns up for his shift and Henry is there behind the coffee machine, apron tied around his waist and stupid, tight white T-shirt clinging to his biceps. Alex turns up for open-mic night at the cafe and there he is again, reading his fucking poetry. Alex goes to the grocery store, or the bookshop, or the fucking campus library, and who does he see? Henry. Always Henry.

Always Henry, always with a different guy.

Alex hates Henry. He's only letting Henry and his stupid long limbs and his overly symmetrical face stay on his couch because he has to, because 'tis the season not to be a massive dick, because it's Christmas. Isn't he? -also coffee shop/roommates

12 Days of Christmas with Alex and Henry series by @coffeecatsme. E, 16k. "It seems I've gotten myself in quite a tangle."

"Tangle?" Henry's voice is hoarse, eyes darkened as they travel over Alex's body. They stop at his crotch, and Alex can see it even under the dim lights—Henry's growing hard too, a visible bulge pushing at his sweatpants. Alex's cock gives a desperate twitch.

"Y'know, I was trying to put them around the tree," he starts, gesturing at the plain tree at the corner. It's clear he didn't even attempt to touch it. "And somehow I've managed to completely trap myself. Can't even move my hands." Henry makes a desperate noise at the back of his throat as his eyes snap up to Alex's face. Alex flashes him a suggestive grin, teeth biting down on his lip. "Seems I'm completely at your mercy."

(Dil)Do It Yourself by @happiness-of-the-pursuit. E, 16k. “Listen,” Nora starts, turning her body once more so that she’s sitting sideways in the chair with her legs thrown across the armrest. “I did the math. There’s a 79% chance you’re gonna become a slut to the power of the prostate, and while we’re not dating anymore, it’s my duty as your fellow slutty bisexual to get this party started.”

Or, when Nora drags Alex to a holiday dildo workshop, he doesn’t expect to find someone to use it with.

Spirit of the Season by @pridepages. M, 17k. Henry was dead to begin with. That much you must understand, or nothing that follows will seem strange or wondrous...

Alex Claremont-Diaz doesn't believe in ghosts. And he really hates Dickens.

But that's not going to stop a very unusual Christmas Spirit...

Henry Fox is on a mission. Once a year, he finds a soul in need of his help. (Too bad this one's such an utter berk.)

When two lost souls find each other on Christmas Eve, they may just find everything they never knew they wanted.

The Christmas Guest by @omgcmere. E, 17k. Alex is looking forward to a relaxing winter break catching up with his sister after her semester abroad, but June's gone and ruined everything by inviting her insufferable international student friend to stay with their family for a real American Christmas experience. Henry is irritatingly gorgeous with a completely obnoxious superiority complex, and Alex is prepared to hate every single second he's forced to spend in his presence. As Alex starts to get into the Christmas spirit, however, he finds that maybe there's more to Henry than meets the eye - and maybe, just maybe, this will actually be the best Christmas ever. - also college

Four Christmases by @hgejfmw-hgejhsf. E, 19k. From Washington to Austin, London to New York, Alex and Henry spend Christmas with different members of their families from 2020 - 2023. Funny couples' Christmas sweaters, festive swimsuits, statement-making ties, and family pajamas all bring lots of laughs, some tears, and a bit of fun to be had by all along the way.

A Year in the Life series by milowren. NR, 19k. Alex and Henry are coworkers, Henry has a crush, and they end up at a haunted corn maze together a few nights before Halloween. Shenanigans ensue! And - When Alex's flight home is canceled at the last minute, Henry invites him over for Thanksgiving - despite never having hosted an American Thanksgiving before.

and you would be there too by smc_27. M, 20k. It’s mostly dark out here, just the lamp poles in the parking lot casting a warm yellow glow across the packed snow.

“We’re closed.”

Henry spins around, heart racing, and sees the beautiful man from the café and from earlier at the shops. He cuts a stunning image, swinging one leg over the wooden fence rail and stepping into the parking lot as he pulls a red and black plaid shirt over his shoulders, his tan pants tight enough across his thighs to make Henry blush for noticing.

This Hell of a Season by Chamel. E, 21k. (Nova, Baby follow-up) “The first few years, it was a relief to get away from all the stupid family drama,” Alex says, blowing a long sigh. The hand that’s not holding Henry’s slides onto his stomach, a warm, comforting pressure. “Then I started to resent it. It hurt to be stuck out on a mission while everyone celebrated without me.”

“And now?”

A grin slips onto Alex’s face as he walks two fingers across Henry’s bare chest. “Now I have you.”

(Or, 3 times Alex & Henry spent Christmas on missions and 1 when they didn't; or, A Very Nova Christmas Special.

Love on the Menu by berrybluefae. M, 23k. Henry Fox has a side hustle at his job as a host in an upscale restaurant. He loves setting up romantic moments for guests who want a little something extra for their night out to dinner. A bouquet of flowers and a bottle of champagne for the couple celebrating their 50th anniversary? Easy. A special table with candles and a dessert with a surprise for the woman about to propose? Child’s play. But despite playing Cupid for the restaurant’s guests, Henry has never been on the receiving end of a grand romantic gesture. So imagine his surprised delight when anonymous gifts begin appearing just for him.

Who is Henry’s secret admirer? Only Valentine’s Day will tell.

You Make Every Day Feel Like It's Christmas by allmylovesatonce. T, 25k. Burned out on work, Alex goes to visit June who is on assignment in a sleepy Vermont town called Snow's Landing. June is determined for him to see where she's been living for the last six months and to love it as much as she does. The most intriguing part of it all is June's best friend there, a man named Henry, that Alex believed was a jerk at first but is starting to discover a new side of as they spend more time together.

Paper Chains by @myheartalivewrites. E, 25k.

DAY 751

(Alex)

Henry is… Well, if Alex is being honest, Henry is everything to him.

But it’s kinda hard to explain.

DAY 1

I have no idea how to summarise this one, folks. The best I can do is… Alex and Henry's journey from awkward beginning as colleagues, to best friends, to spending time apart and finally to finding each other again.

But it’s not as straightforward as that.

Every Day's a Holiday (When I'm Near to You) by bleedingballroomfloor. E, 29k. I know this is a long shot, but if anyone’s going to Texas/anywhere south for the holidays and is crazy enough to drive there instead of fly, I’m looking for a road trip buddy. We can split gas money and snacks if you pick good ones. DM me if you’re interested.

And Henry knows he's about the make the most idiotic decision he's ever made in his life.

Or, Henry impulsively tags along with Alex on a road trip to Texas with absolutely no plan. Surely this won't backfire.

in a holidaze by @tedddylupin. E, 49k. Alex didn't mean to spend his New Years Eve thrown together with a perfect stranger at an airport. He didn't mean to offer up to share his hotel room with a very attractive stranger. He also didn't mean to find the man insufferably perfect either.

Or: the one where Alex and Henry find each other during different holidays throughout a year's time.

When I think about you by @clottedcreamfudge. E, 50k. Dream sharing is absolutely not a thing, even though Alex would very much like it to be.

The magic of soulmates, however, means that someone you’ve never met – someone whose soul is tied to yours, in whatever way that manifests – can appear in your dreams, like an extra character who keeps popping up over and over again. They won’t be having the same dream as you, and you won’t actually meet, but whatever you remember from the dream can start to take shape in your waking hours; you can figure things out, bit by bit, dream by dream.

I only tag an author once per post, but I'm still figuring out firstprince author handles. If you see one I may not know or find a broken link, please give me a heads up!

Master List of RWRB FirstPrince Recs

Master List of Recommendations

[thvkei]

SNOWBOUND BABY / TOKREV X READER.

@thvkei; cute lil things our boys do during winter ⟡ part one.

ft. takemichi, mikey, and draken x gn!reader

genre. fluff, headcanons

notes. this post is sfw, but this account contains nsfw content. please do not follow if you're a minor.

✰ TAKEMICHI.

as hard as he tries to be the stoic, protective boyfriend, something about the way the snow spills fluidly from the abundance of clouds above his head makes his heart retreat to his childhood days.

he loves winter, but hates the cold. you find it funny how he humors himself by building snow castles and other childish matters, yet complains when the icy burn of frost bites at the tips of his fingers.

CONSTANTLY gets caught underneath the mistletoe. he finds it so embarrassing but he loves kissing you so he can't complain.

gingerbread-house-decorating-competition in which his literally falls apart in front of your eyes and you hysterically watch him try and piece it back together.

no matter how long you've been dating, he still gets flustered when you take his cheeks between your palms, soothing the redness that consumes them due to the biting cold.

takes you to see a christmas play but it turns out to be for kids. you both get bored and end up running out, giggling whilst plotting to meet up with his friends and get tipsy on eggnog and mulled wine.

big fan of hot chocolate, but is absolute ass at making them. how someone can be bad at making at hot drink, you aren't sure. however, after his first and only attempt, you ultimately decide that you'll be in charge of making them from now on.

leaves buying christmas presents until last minute bc he thinks he can handle it... wrong L bozo. 💀

panics on christmas eve and embarrassedly calls you in the middle of a clothes store asking what your size is.

ends up buying you a pair of matching pjs, they're super cute 'n fluffy <3

tries so hard to wrap your presents but he literally can't figure out how to make it look neat for the life of him 😭. skill issue tbh.

running up to him before he can slip out for work in the morning, wrapping his scarf around his neck and planting a kiss on his cheek while he quietly recognizes how lucky he is to have you in his life.

ice skating date where takemichi falls so many times you swear he will be littered in bruises the following day, which you were right about.

flu season. he believes he's immune, (he's not), and always ends up sick.

taking a hot shower together to warm up :))

BLANKET HOGGER‼️ steals the blankets from you when you're asleep, so you have to literally have to fight him for them. falls off the bed.

✰ MIKEY.

literally a winter fiend.

unbothered by the cold but always faces the consequences, which is lowkey annoying cuz he always catches a cold 'n then you have to babysit his ass back to full health.

steals all your coats, hoodies and jackets even though he has his own.

when you question him on it, he either lies about stealing, (even when he's LITERALLY wearing it), or deflects your accusing tone with a compliment.

"you know, the snow really brings out the color of your eyes. they're s'pretty, y/n. ♡."

"mikey 😐."

if you're stupid enough to even TRY and wear a scarf in his vicinity, you better run cuz he will grab that shit 'n force you to share.

forces you to make him hot coco (with whipped cream 'n marshmallows ofc)

he loves decorating the tree, will put you on his shoulders to place the star at the top ˊᗜˋ

intently watches you wrap presents. sticking your tongue out, fiddling with the tape 'n trying to hold it all together. he thinks it's so cute and endearing, he can't bring himself to help when you look so adorable.

gets concerningly pale?? i mean, he's already pale, but when he's cold, he gets like even whiter LMAO some1 help him

loves making snow angels

takes you on his bike to see the christmas lights!!

starts snowball fights out of fucking nowhere. you swear he almost gave you a concussion once but he denies it ever happening smh. 🤥

trying to do a christmas movie marathon but tbh good luck bc this man can't focus for more than 5 minutes.

as well as being a blanket hogger, in winter, mikey and the concept of personal space become complete strangers. bro will cling to you like you're tryin' to go somewhere when actually you're just trying to sleep.

✰ DRAKEN.

one of the best winter boyfriends omg!!

constantly warm. it's like hugging a fucking radiator, but in a good way :D

the feeling of waking up next to him in winter is unmatched. your head lies on his chest, and his bicep holds your waist against him with the perfect strength. soft snores pass through his open lips, blonde locks strewn across the pillow.

late night trips to the convenience store bc u want snacks!!

constantly shoving an extra layer of clothes on you, just to be safe.

personally isn't a fan of the cold, but bares it for you.

you force him to go ice skating with you, but all it takes is one fall and he's stomping off the rink cussing out the ice whilst you cling to him, drowning in your own giggles.

strokes you hair as you watch christmas classics, feeling his chest vibrate with gentle laughter as he cradles you against him.

laughing at him because he's wearing mittens LMAO

surprise attacking him with a wrestle in the snow, only to end up pinned beneath him panting and tapping out because his bodyweight is crushing you.

would take a lot of convincing, but would wear a onesie if it really made you happy.

going on a cut-your-own-christmas-tree-farm date and my god does he make a fine lumberjack.

even though you’d been extra cautious, you still got sick. but don't worry, ken takes care of you.

that is after he's lectured you on wearing warmer clothes even though you literally wear at least two hoodies every time you walk outside.

gets pissed when you shove snow in his hood and doesn't notice until he pulls it over his head. 💀

making cookies together but somehow coming out with triple how many you were acc supposed to make so your kitchen was practically overflowing with the damn things.

going on a date to see the fireworks. draken stares at you with love and true adoration in his eyes as you gawk at the pretty streams of light, lips forming an 'o' as you admire the way they shoot through the sky. he's never been happier.

please do not repost or steal my work ─ i don't allow translations or resposts on any other platforms.

[lestappenforever]

Hii, could I request prompt no 9 🥺 (and if its something you'd enjoy writing could you include maxes cats in this prompt, I feel like including them or them being part of the plot would work for this specific prompt) -> but ofc no worries if you'd rather write about other things, I'll still love whatever you come up with cause I adore your writing! <3

Hello, my darling anon. ❤️

9. with Sassy and Jimmy coming right up! I also snuck in a little 32. "I love you. So fucking much."

---

9. “It’s all taken care of.” “Even the–?” “Everything.”, and 32. "I love you. So fucking much."

It doesn't happen often, Max getting sick. In fact, Max takes preventive measures on a daily basis to make sure he doesn't get sick.

He takes every vitamin the medical team has recommended for him, drinks every disgusting concoction Brad makes him to boost his immune system, and denies himself foods and snacks he desperately wants to have in order to make sure he stays in the best shape possible.

So no, it doesn't happen often, Max getting sick. But when it does, it has a tendency to hit him hard.

And of course it hits him on December 20th.

He starts feeling it a few days before, with his energy levels dropping and waking up with a headache for no apparent reason. Max finds himself thinking it's just the common cold and it will pass in no time. Then his throat starts hurting, his nose feels stuffy, and his lungs feel constricted with every inhale. By December 20th, he doesn't even have the energy to get out of bed.

It's not a cold. It's the flu, which Max hasn't had since he was a fucking kid. And it couldn't have come at a worse time, because this year, he and Charles are supposed to host Christmas at Max's Monaco apartment, with their mothers, Charles' brothers, Max's sister and her family all invited.

It's less than ideal, to say the least.

He spends the entire day in bed, but on December 21st, despite feeling even worse than the day before, he gets out of bed to start getting things ready for Christmas Eve.

Charles finds him in the kitchen when he lets himself into Max's apartment an hour and a half later, hunched over the kitchen counter with his forearms and forehead resting on the cool marble, breathing labored and wheezing.

"Merde, Max, what the hell are you doing out of bed?" Charles groans, putting the shopping bags down on the floor by the fridge and hurrying to the Dutchman's side.

"I need to start preparing for Christmas," Max tells him as Charles rubs a soothing hand up and down the length of his back.

"Like hell you do," the Monégasque snorts. "You need to get your ass back into bed."

Max lifts his head to look at Charles, and he must look like death because Charles visibly winces at the sight of him.

"Nothing is ready. The tree isn't even up yet!" Max tries to argue, but it's not a compelling argument when he can barely get the words out with his hoarse voice and reduced ability to breathe.

"I'm putting the tree up tomorrow. Now come on, back to bed," Charles says as he winds an arm around Max's waist and carefully eases him upright.

"But what about Christmas dinner? You can't cook, Charles," Max whines as he lets Charles guide him out of the kitchen and down the hallway.

Charles makes an offended noise by his side, but he doesn't argue.

For obvious reasons.

"I've booked a caterer," the Monégasque informs him.

Max blinks in surprise, staring at Charles.

"This close to Christmas?!"

"A very expensive caterer."

"I still need to wrap the gifts," Max continues to argue, even as he lets Charles sit him on the edge of the bed. The Dutchman sighs, but settles back against the pillows and pulls his legs up anyway.

"I wrapped them last night." Charles says it as he pulls the duvet up and over Max.

"The guest rooms aren't ready. My family are coming tomorrow evening," he continues with his never-ending list of things that need to be done, none of which Max has been able to get to.

"They're going to stay at my apartment until Christmas Eve, to give you more time to recover. I went to clean and get everything ready this morning," Charles declares, not at all worried. Not at all stressed.

Unlike Max.

He lays in bed, staring up at Charles through his glassy, red eyes.

"But what about Jimmy and Sassy's litterboxes? I need to clean them," Max says, trying to push himself up into a seated position.

Charles stops him with a gentle hand in the center of Max's chest, pushing him back down.

"I've cleaned them this morning. I gave them breakfast at seven on the dot, and I'll give them dinner at five."

"Their water fountain —," Max starts.

"I washed it last night. It's clean," Charles cuts him off, running a hand carefully through Max's hair.

The gentle motion makes Max's eyes flutter shut and he sighs, exhausted.

"Go to sleep, Max."

"But what about —,"

"It's all taken care of."

"Even the —,"

"Everything."

Max opens his eyes to meet Charles' gaze. He knows he probably looks horrible. But Charles still looks at him as if he's the single most stunning person he has ever laid eyes on.

"I love you. So fucking much," Max tells him seriously, and Charles smiles, letting his hand slide from Max's hair to his cheek, thumb sliding over his cheekbone.

"I know. I love you too."

Max is about to say something else, but then Charles is getting to his feet and hurrying out of the room, throwing an 'I'll be right back' over his shoulder.

Max watches him go, but he's too tired to keep his eyes open.

When Charles returns, he places Jimmy and Sassy on the bed next to Max, and the Dutchman opens his eyes to see Charles pointing at him.

"Heal him," he instructs the cats, who look at him like he's lost his damned mind.

But then Jimmy moves to settle on Max's stomach, curling up in a ball and purring. Sassy watches her brother before she goes to settle by Max's shoulder, laying her little head on Max's collarbone. And then she's purring, too.

Charles looks at the three of them, pleased.

"Good. Now make sure he stays in bed," he tells them.

Max huffs a breathless laugh, and Charles winks at him.

"Now sleep," the Monégasque demands as he leans down to press a soft kiss to Max's forehead.

And Max is asleep before Charles can straighten back up, lulled into it by the soothing purrs of his cats and the warmth spreading within at being so cared for, so loved, by Charles Leclerc.

Max doesn't know what he did to deserve Charles, but he's never letting him go.

Not in a million years.

[skyfall8600]

Day 11: Christmas Eve

Eddie Munson list

12 Days of Christmas List

[800 words]

Note: so I know it’s not Christmas anymore and I’m so sorry you all had to wait for so long. I do plan on continuing with my writing but you should all hear it from me, 2023 will not have as frequent updates as my 2022 works. I’ve taken on a new job, still studying and will try my absolute best to write the stories you have all grown to love on here. That’s all for now, and I’ll finish off the 12 day of Christmas for my own sanity of the series being completed.

—————————————————————————————————————————-

With all the lead up to the big day, over the years you started to feel that Christmas day was overhyped. Most of the time you would be stuck between family members you only saw once every few months, picking at the food on your plate.

But Christmas Eve? Yeah Christmas Eve was the main shit for you. You’d go all out, decorating cookies and perfectly wrapping each gift. Naturally, everything had to be following a particular colour style and presentation for how it looked…. Aesthically pleasiinig visuals was a must.

Over the few years that Eddie had grown to known you, seeing how you shined on Christmas Eve was one of his favoirite things. This christmas however, all your plans came crashing out because fate had been cruel and decided to gift you with the Flu on your favourite holiday.

And he had to hear all about your suffering as you spoke to him on the phone.

“By now I would’ve had all the presents wrapped,” you sulked, tearing up into the phone. “The house would smell like cookies…”

“I’m sure the house still smells great!” Eddie laughed, trying to conceal the noises he was making.

“I wouldn’t know, can’t smell a fucking thing.” You sniffled, “So, what are your plans for the rest of the—“ you were cut off by your own coughing, followed by groaning at the chest pains.

“Nothing much.” He lied, his eyes scanning over the mess of his creations. “I’ll let you rest up, Merry Christmas Eve love. Get better soon.”

“I’ll try.”

And with that, Eddie hung up the phone and got back to work. He had a scattered mess of wrapping paper and baked goods around the small trailer. It took him forever to hunt down the exact type of bows you always used, and as for the wrapping paper… he got the closest thing he could find.

You would always rave about how you mainly loved preparing everything for others to enjoy. And yet, Eddie couldn’t remember the last time someone gave you anything as nicely put together or special.

Today seemed like the perfect opportunity for Eddie to do just that. All the gifts he was planning on giving you tomorrow for Christmas Day suddenly had a new purpose; to give you the joyous Christmas Eve you always wanted.

With the gifts loaded in his truck, trays of cookies sat neatly on the passenger seat, Eddie was ready.

The drive to your house was short but he took his time, terrified that the slightest bump or curve in the road meant all his hard work would be destroyed.

He sung along quietly to himself when he parked the van in the driveway. Slowly he unloaded the goods and his eye caught the white costume beard.

He sighed, “Jesus Christ, Wayne.” He laughed, grabbing the rather cheap Santa beard in his hand. “I thought I said no to the beard, bloody old man.”

He couldn’t help but laugh. Wayne felt absolutely gutted that you were sick and suggested that Eddie should dress up like the ‘big guy’ when he makes his delivery. Eddie opted for a simple Santa t-shirt but couldn’t get the image of the beard out of his head. Would you like it? Would you think he was childish?

Frankly he didn’t care, or he should have thought about it more. Because now, he stood on your porch, arms full of presents and baked goods. And his big smile covered behind the white fake beard.

You, on the other hand, were covered in tissues and buried yourself in a blanket that towered over your entire body as you opened the front door. The first thing you saw was boxes upon boxes of gifts. All containing the exact ribbon you loved.

“Merry Christmas Eve! I figured since you couldn’t do the ribbons this year, then I’d give them to you.” The voice behind the hair and boxes called out.

That voice that you could always pick out in a crowd.

You smiled the best you could without feeling more pain, and you weren’t entirely sure if the tears running down your cheeks were from pure love of his boy or the slightly stinging sensation from your sore sinus.

“What—Eddie.” You croaked out, “what’s all this?!”

He scoffed, “It’s Christmas Eve. Like I was going to let you miss it.”

He leaned over all the items in his arms to kiss you on the forehead, you nudged him away, “But I’ll make you sick!”

“I don’t care. Gimme your germs.”

The toy of you laughed, hugged and sneezed for the rest of the night. And although you hated to admit it, perhaps being on the receiving end of your Christmas Eve celebrations was nice for once.

———————————————————————————————————————————-

@silky-luxe @fentyreligion @littlelunarfox @coconutchumby @eempxth @superflannel @fluffycookies22 @yearwalker96 @cutiecusp @magicalchocolatecheesecake @grungegrrrl l l​@m1rkw00dpr1ncess @dixontardis @buckyslwt @bratckerman @dani-d0rk @musicmoviestv @tomshelbystits @reddisteddie @santaatemypuppy @cherryrevenger @chipster-21 @azaleaforsure @eddielives1986 @luceneraium @loving-and-dreaming @gothvamp1973

[invisibleraven]

Tagged by @jmrothwell and @onlygenxhere

Mutuals, I need to know:

❄️ Favorite Christmas movies

Every year without fail, I watch Muppet Family Christmas. It is a staple in my household, and I almost always watch it on Christmas Eve.

☃️ Christmas traditions?

Christmas crackers! Gotta get my flimsy paper hat and sub par toy!

🎄 Favorite Christmas aesthetic? (Traditional, black and white, etc.)

I like cozy homemade holiday vibes-coloured lights, ornaments that were once made with care. Laid back with a crackling fire and a good drink.

🎁 Christmas food/drinks you love

Chocolate oranges, though we had no luck finding them this year, or at least, not ones that didn't cost an insane amount of money.

❄️ Best Christmas song

Old City Bar by Trans Siberian Orchestra.

🎄 One thing you got for someone (I won't tell :3)

I got my nephew a toy washing machine, because he is obsessed with his 'washy' at home. I cannot wait to see him open it.

☃️ One thing you really, really want for Christmas

For the flu currently ravaging my body to fuck right off please and thanks. Stupid plague rats in onesies.

If you want to play, tag you're it!

[thedreadvampy]

I am. For some reason. Being haunted by guilt for this one fucking thing that happened when I was 17. It keeps floating up whenever I try to sleep the last couple of days, I think it's cause Sam's been ill. so I'm putting it here in an attempt to exorcise it. please tell me if this is a situation it makes sense to feel guilty about 13 years later.

Ok so I'm 17, right? I have this boyfriend. He's 18? 19? Not 100% sure on timings on this. and we've been together for about 9 months.

I'm still at school. He's not - he dropped out of sixth form twice, doesn't have a job and is on and off benefits. He's living in his mum's house but I think by this point she's up and moved to Ghana without much notice, leaving him alone with 4 cats and a dog (I'm not actually 100% sure she'd moved out yet at the time but I'm the interests of steelmanning the guilt let's assume she had. I think she had).

We live in different towns - he lives in the nearest Proper Town, the one with like a train station and shopping centre and cinema and clubs. I live 2 buses away - there's a 45 minute bus that takes me from his to the town I go to school in, which goes every 20 minutes 6am-11pm, and then the 20/40 min bus (it takes alternating routes) that I have to take from that town to my village, which goes every 80 minutes 7am-5pm.

My habit at the time is leaving school on Friday, getting the bus to his, spending every weekend there, then going to school from his on Monday and going home after school to spend the week at home. So we sort of half live together - I do a lot of the shopping and cleaning for his house while I'm there cause I work and get a £20/wk allowance from my parents and have no bills to pay, whereas he doesn't have any stable income and since his mum left he's gotta pay for the bills on this 2 person house as well as food and stuff for himself and the animals.

So that's the context this is happening in. He's feeling very abandoned and not really coping, and I've been trying to fill that gap but also I Am Seventeen.

Anyway it's Christmas time, and I've agreed that I'll spend the run-up to Christmas at his and then get the last bus home on Christmas Eve to spend actual Christmas with my family.

I wake up on Christmas Eve about 3am because it is BOILING. I reach over and touch his skin and it literally hurts to touch cause he's running such a high fever. When he wakes up I ask him if he's ok, if he needs me to call the doctor etc, he won't let me do that. I get him water and paracetamol and honey and lemon and a bucket in case he needs to throw up but by about 3pm I'm like I truly have to go bc this is the absolute latest I can leave to catch the last bus home before December 27th (no buses on Christmas or Boxing Day).

and he is crying and begging me not to leave him and calling me selfish and saying I don't love him. and I do everything I can to make sure he's going to be ok and has plenty of food and water in reach and then I go.

(I was very right about the urgency of leaving if I wanted to get home, btw, bc it was below zero and snowing heavily and I JUST got onto the last bus at a dead run. and then that broke down in the snow 2 miles away from home, it was like an hour of just me and the bus driver sitting in an unheated bus while the snow piled up and he called the depot trying to get someone to come out 30+ miles to pick him and the bus up last thing before Christmas. Poor guy. Eventually my mum managed to drive out and pick me up and bring the driver a thermos of tea and some heat packs to tide him over until the cavalry came. so yeah there wasn't a lot of wiggle room in that travel plan.)

anyway my memories of that Christmas Eve have always largely focused on the bus thing. but like. the last few days I'm really thinking about how scary and lonely that genuinely must have been for my ex. like. if I'm right in thinking this was after his mum left, this was probably his first Christmas alone and he spent it racked with flu, running a fever in his room and his girlfriend just went away and left him to it. and like. That must have felt awful

and I keep just thinking should I have done something different? tried to get him to my parents' for Christmas? stuck around until the 27th? maybe talked to my mum and seen whether she could come pick me up on Christmas Day?

or like. even if i didn't do anything wrong. does it make me a bad person that I was so desperate to get out of his house and so relieved once I was away? like I just did not want to deal with that?

like it's obviously all moot, it was half my life ago and anyway it's a snapshot of a much more substantive and complicated relationship. but like. It's just sitting on me at the moment. while I flop around feeling sorry for myself bc I'm running a fever.

[beauzos]

oh hey it’s New Year’s Eve, so i can finally write a reflection about this year.  been wanting to a bit but was saving it till the end.

this was a really good year for me.  it had its ups and downs-- the year started with me recovering from a December packed with covid, the flu, and bronchitis.  my mom was hospitalized with pneumonia and i had a lot of responsibilities because of that, juggling taking care of her and dad, though thankfully she made a full recovery.

i made new friends, which i’ve been really grateful for.  i cut off old friends that were too toxic to be around anymore-- had been too toxic for years at this point, and i was lowkey afraid of them because of how they treated our other friends, so i was proud of myself when i finally put an end to these ‘friendships’.  i have friends i get along with much better in a much healthier way, so i’m pleased with that.

i started a new hobby, which was doll collecting, and that’s been a lot of fun getting into something new.  i really enjoy collecting dolls, i just wish i had more room at this point lol.  i’ll look into bigger shelves soon, maybe.

i started reading more.  i fell off while working on my writing project, but i’m still proud of myself for reading books like i always want to.  i hope i can read more next year too, i have LOTS of books to read and enjoy!

the biggest thing fo the year was my writing.  it started with Death Comes for Good Sons, which was one of the more ambitious writing projects i’d done in a while.  it wound up at about 19,000 words, and i was proud of myself for having written a small multi-chapter project like that.  then of course we know the story of A Change of Heart, which i’ve talked about extensively (and will continue to!).

i can’t believed that thing ballooned to 200,000 words. i think i expected it to be about 50,000 words, but i really had no way to conceive how long it’d be at any given point till i hit the 150,000 word mark.  i’m still really proud of myself for that.  i’d never written so much on my own in my life, and i am so happy i went through on that project instead of doubting myself.  i had a blast writing it, and i hope to write lots more.

as for next year, the Trampled Sunflowers reboot is still underway, though we haven’t really worked on it.  not sure what other writing projects i have right now as i haven’t made any moves to develop my ideas, but who knows.  maybe i’ll have more with all my sudden I Lost My Fucking Job free time.

well, i guess that’s a bit of a damper on the end of my year.  i basically have lost my job.  i guess i could go and try to save it, but i honestly don’t want to because of the sheer disrespect of it all.  we’ll see, though.  but December was a good month.  my family was healthy and we had a nice, calm Christmas together.  we’re rarely all together as my sister lives in another state, so it was nice having everyone together.

all in all, it’s been a good year.  i’m looking forward to the next one.

[fusion-ego]

𓇼Update𓇼

Genuinely cannot remember the last time I made one of these, but it was probably in like November or something. Anyways let's just jump in.

✩ Still living in the church that belongs to my grandma. Also due to a Situation we moved our best friend in with us as both a safety precaution and because that's always kinda been the plan.

✩ Unemployed at the moment. Would prefer to not be but we're working on that.

✩ Went to see my aunt and uncle (and cousins) for Christmas because my best friend and husband were out of town with a friend of my husband's. Had a good time, ate lots of food, aaaaaand got the fucking flu from my cousin lmao. Spent the next week+ laid up in bed with a fever, constant migraines, and the obvious coughing/vomiting issues. I have never had the flu before so I felt like death. And I probably ate like... 12oz of food the entire time so I've lost weight again (drat).

✩ Between being sick (from Dec. 26th, 2023 to January 4th, 2024) and now, I got about... A week of peace? And then the weather in my area dropped into the single digits! And the church has TERRIBLE insulation, so suffice it to say we could LITERALLY use the back hallway as a freezer. We've been practically hibernating up until yesterday when the weather warmed up a bit.

✩ Meanwhile, I also found out I'm going to be a big sibling! My mom found out she was pregnant on Christmas. I was kind of ambivalent on the subject because like... How bizarre is it to find out that, at 24, your parents have finally managed to conceive another kid?? But then mom sent me a video of her sonogram and I had Strong Feelings lmao.

✩ Also, both of my parents have good jobs in Arizona! My mom is making somewhere around $20/hr doing clerical work at an RV dealership, dad is making closer to $30 as an RV maintenance tech at a different dealership. As a result, we have my next point.

✩ On Christmas Eve, my parents and I discussed how my husband and I would be getting to Arizona. They're adamant about helping us get there since we weren't supposed to have to come back to Illinois to begin with after my car broke down in Missouri, and my dad made (what I thought was) an off-handed joke about me just setting up like 50 interviews out there and he'd pay to fly me out there to get to them. Well, he wasn't joking! He was 100% serious, as we discussed the following day.

✩ So in the midst of being sick and hibernating through the shitty weather, I've also been applying to a crapload of jobs in Arizona. I've got a phone interview for one tomorrow and I'm in talks with some other jobs about setting up interviews in-person.

✩ On that note, my parents jumped to getting things set up. I've got a flight booked for February 10th!

✩ ... Which means I have a crapload of things to get done in the next three weeks, like packing, helping our best friend get his license (that was also always the plan, I was just hoping to let him get his practice in warmer weather lmao), and setting things up so my husband and I (hopefully) won't have simultaneous breakdowns about being 1600 miles apart for potentially several months while I'm working and saving money to get it and our best friend out there as well.

✩ As always, my commissions are open and I appreciate any support y'all can give lol

✩ That's all? ✩

[rvllybllply2014]

Manchild bullshit and talking about being sick along with covid under the cut.

So I’m sick, hope it’s the flu or cold and not Covid or bronchitis. My lungs hurt with the cold air in the garage but otherwise no coughing or anything. My throat also hurts pretty bad, my mouth/tongue dry out easily and lips are cracked like I’m a mouth breather. Also my ears and jaw itch like when I’m sick and my ears also hurt when I swallow and just randomly pulse. My appetite has gone to shit, like nothing sounds good and I have to force myself to eat. Sleep is shit especially at night constantly tired even after being awake for just 30 minutes. Driving is really iffy, like my head is stuffy but I can breathe through my nose easily even if it’s runny, but sometimes when I’m behind a car at a stoplight it feels like I’m moving backwards. Anyway the reason that I’m talking about this because manchild can’t keep his lies straight and I don’t want to forget what he’s told me. So before Christmas his mom sister and niece all got Covid. They isolated for the 2 weeks with us dropping stuff off at their house. Like maybe 4 days before Christmas they tested negative, but I still didn’t go over there even after they deep cleaned because my dad had knee surgery on the 21st. The kicker is nobody went over to his moms for Christmas just his great aunt and manchild. Manchild was there for Christmas Eve and day, him and his mom sister and niece went to his grandparents to drop off Christmas presents on Christmas Eve and days later his grandparents have tested positive for covid. Anyway manchild is now insisting that his mom sister and niece never had Covid, even though I went grocery shopping for them and got them stuff for hot toddies and Vicks vapor humidifier stuff. But now he’s trying to tell me that no he never said that they didn’t have it but they did test negative when I told I’m not feeling good. Here’s the thing I fucking told him to be careful bringing germs over here, surgery makes you more vulnerable plus my dad has other health things that make covid bad for him. Manchild has been coughing on my me and my face every night since he’s been back from his moms, he was also over at his moms from the 29-30th and who knows what germs he was exposed to again. Idk I’m just so pissed at him that he gets me sick and then expects me to just have energy to do his laundry and other shit and the fact that he’s lied about his family not having Covid when I know for a fucking fact they did.

[235uranium]

of fucking course i'd get a migraine so bad i'm vomiting as if i have the flu on christmas eve

[figula]

merry christmas eve

had a nice cuddle w/ ben this eve, he's actually not back at work until the 28th (i thought it was the 27th) so that's nice, and he got jabbed for flu as well so hopefully covid vax + infection + flu vaccine will keep the worst of the nasties away for the rest of the winter? lol fuck my life

his cough is a lot better tho (it's just dry post-covid cough nothing worse than that) and im able to tolerate it atm, this morning i didn't put my noise cancelling headphones on + just gritted my teeth and lived with the occasional dry coughs bc i know that's better for me than putting my headphones on at the first sign of harmless noise lol

i just feel really tired and drained, im doing my best but my best is like not great, and im just tired of finding the most basic shit like really, really difficult like it's exhausting to be entirely aware of your irrationalities but like ... not at a stage where that awareness results in any change

atm my approach is to repeat to myself over and over "you are fighting reality" which calms me down a bit bc it helps to remind me that this current moment is all i have + fighting reality (by which i mean wishing it was different + trying to not accept it) makes it worse not better

this is kind of all i have tho and it's not great. ben was trying to get me to take valium the other day (bc i was at that point still unable to tolerate being in the room w/ him without noise cancellers - so it's good we're already way past that) but i just dont want to take valium all the time i just dont want to be reliant on this shit i just want to not be the kind of fucking bellend who is so triggered by the sound of coughing - COUGHING!! COUGHING!!!!! MY GOD - that it is such an ISSUE

the mots annoying thing is i know there are so many posts like this on my tumblr that go back years lmfao and nothing changes + im sick of it and im sick of myself

i don't feel anxious anymore so much as just quite low + idk what i prefer really. it's both shit lol

[galaxyedging]

Merry Christmas

Dave York/You Christmas One Shot

Warnings: 🔞 Sex, bad language, cheating.

I wrote this at 3am, full of flu. It's filth, am sorry.

Christmas Eve in a relatively new place was pretty quiet. You'd only been here 6 months. Most of that time was occupied by work or fixing the house up. The rest of your time was taken up with having an affair with your incredibly attractive neighbour. The gentle vibration of your phone on the sofa caught your attention.

9pm Christmas Eve.

Mr York: What are you doing tomorrow?

Me: It's Christmas. Christmas shit.

MY: Be more specific.

Me: Well, Shithead usually ignores me in the run up to Christmas. He works because some people actually take time off at Christmas and he can't do business then.

-To make up for it, he'll buy me something crappy but expensive then we sex under the tree. His idea of a romantic tradition. That'll have to wait until after his 2 hour conference call at 9am. Like the one he has tonight is not enough.

-Usually we'd visit family. This year we're going to stay home, eat and get drunk. Well, I am at least.

MY: God, he's an asshole. I wouldn't make you wait.

Me: Yeah?

MY: I wouldn't even let you out of the bed before I fucked you.

Me: I bet you wouldn't. Is that your plan with Carol tomorrow?

MY: Not with Carol. She likes me out of the way while she starts cooking. Girls will be busy with their gifts. Can you go jogging at 10? The hill pass?

Me: The quiet one that runs through the woods? Yeah, I think I can make that.

MY: Good. Wear those yoga pants I like.

-Does that dick head ever get off his phone?

Me: Don't knock it. It's the only thing that makes this marriage bearable.

MY: He's an idiot. I couldn't focus on a call knowing that sweet pussy is just upstairs.

Me: You're in your office?

MY: Yeah. I can see him pacing in his office and I can just see your smile over the top of the balcony.

Me: Are you home alone?

MY: No. The girls have friends over. Girlie Christmas Eve tradition.

Me: Aw so I can't put on a show for you?

MY: Like I said I can see you smile. I'd be able to see your head thrown back and your gorgeous fucking mouth make that perfect little 'O' as you come.

Me: Maybe but I've been stuck at home all day so am not really in the mood.

MY: You need help to get in the mood babygirl?

Me: If you think you could?

MY: When have I ever failed to get you in the mood?

Me: That's different. You could put your hands on me.

MY: I don't just need to be able to put my hands on YOU to get you in the mood.

A few seconds of video follow.

You can feel the surge of arousal flood your panties before you even press play. The image of Dave's rigid cock with his large hand wrapped around it, reminding you how big he is, is enough. God, you're well aware that size doesn't matter that much but he knows how to use it too. In the video he pumps himself a few times. The tip glistens with precome.

*Message deleted*

Damn him and his super secrecy. As if the self deleting message app he made you download wasn't enough privacy. He always deletes his pics even before the app can.

MY: Fuck you got me so hard baby. Wish I could slip this into you right now. I'd bend you over the balcony and fuck you hard.

Me: No fair! I was enjoying that!

MY: You can enjoy the real thing tomorrow sugar. For now, show me what those pretty, talented, little fingers can do.

You don't need much encouragement to slip you hands into you shorts. Memories of Dave 'helping you fix your car' last week spurring you on. Your car had been parked in the garage. Hood facing away from the street. The garage door was wide open. Hidden beneath the hood Dave had eaten your pussy out from behind. He wrapped a clean cloth around a wrench and made you bite down on it so no one heard you. He didn't let you touch him as he finished up his work. Even though you could see he was rock hard in his jeans. From the smile on Carol's face later that day you guessed how he'd dealt with it.

MY: Oh fuck. You look so good biting your pretty lip.

Me: I had to. Didn't want Shithead hearing me scream your name.

MY: I had to bite my belt to shut the fuck up. I wanted to say all the dirty things that make your cunt clench. I nearly redecorated my office when I came.

Me: Fuck baby such a waste. I would have drank you down.

MY: Mmm. I would have rather stuck my dick in your pussy and filled it. Let Shithead know who it belongs to.

9.00am December 25th.

Me: Merry Christmas.

MY: It will be when I see you.

Me: You only have to wait an hour. Then you get to fuck me until I come on your big cock.

MY: Can't. Too risky out there.

Me: So what are we doing?

MY: Park in the east parking spot. It's quiet. Tell me when you get there.

Dave was right. It was usually quiet but on Christmas Day the place was deserted. Pulling out your phone you send him a message.

Me: Am here.

MY: Good. Start finger fucking yourself.

Me: What?!

MY: Put your hand down the front of those tight as hell pants and play with your clit. Trace those tight circles you like.

Me: But why? Can you see me?

MY: Don't ask questions. Touch your pussy now. Get yourself right to the edge. Stop and text me when you're done.

You weren't sure if it was his words or the risk of getting caught but an orgasm built pretty damn quick.

Me: Done. Can I come now?

MY: No. Get yourself there one more time then stop.

Me: Please?

MY: Not the time for begging now baby. Do it.

Getting bolder you moved your fingers lower slipping one inside while the heel of your palm brushed your sensitive clit.

Me: Fuck. Done.

MY: I bet that pussy is quivering.

Me: Yes. So fucking wet too. I can slide 3 fingers in. Want you so bad Daddy.

MY: Fuck. Pump them in and out. Find that spot you like my cockhead to pound on, get close again and stop.

You did as you were told.

Me: Fuck. It's too much. I nearly came.

MY: But you didn't. My good girl.

-I have something for you. Am taking a risk giving it to you like this so we have to be quick. Take a right off the main path at the first sign. Push through the bushes there's a clearing just behind it. I'll meet you there.

Me: It's like a spy movie. Can't you just hide it somewhere for me to find? I have sunglasses in the car.

MY: Can't. Need to give it to your personally.

Following Dave's instructions you enter the clearing. You're startled as he enters from another direction a moment later. He stalks towards you. Fuck, he's gorgeous. A little scary when he's so focused too. Your heart rate picks up and your pussy throbs. Before you can say anything he has you turned around, roughly pushing you until your hands are braced against a tree. He pulls your yoga pants down with one hand while releasing his weaping length with the other. It looks like you weren't the only one edging.

"Touch yourself. Come for me." He pants as he grips his dick and starts pumping it furiously. His grunts and curses mixing with the blood rushing in your ears. Moving behind you, his strong hand meets your lower back and bends you forward slightly. In less than a minute you tell him you're coming. Just as you orgasm hits, he buries himself to the hilt, coming deep inside you. "Fuck, take all my cum you dirty little whore. Take it." he grunts as he pushes his hips flush with your ass. His pulsing cock buried unbelievably deep inside you. His hand slamming into the tree above your head. It's wrong and vulger and so fucking hot. Before the last waves of pleasure subside you feel something smooth and silicon inserted into your pussy. "Keep it in. Go back to your car." He placed a quick kiss to your sweaty forehead before disappearing as quick as he appeared. Your shaking legs and the intrusion in your cunt slow your short journey back to the car. A text is already waiting for you.

MY: Keep that plug in until Shithead is ready to fuck you. I want him to be all proud that he made you so goddamn wet when he's really fucking my cum deeper into you. Prick won't know the difference. Let him come in you too. The though of your perfect cunt dripping with two loads will keep me hard while I have to screw Carol. You're the only thing that keeps me hard.

-Did you get the gift she brought over? Is it under the tree?

Me: Yeah.

MY: OK. Good. Make sure that fucker makes you come.

Me: You are joking right? He thinks I can't orgasm just from penetration so he just let's me touch myself. He thinks it's hot.

-I'll think of your big hands touching me. That'll have me coming on his useless dick.

11.05 am December 25th

Dave excuses himself. Everyone else is busy anyway. Locking his office door his picks up the receiver to the tiny mic he snuck into your present. He slips his headset on and listens in.

Shithead sounds like a desperate, horny, frat boy.

"Hey babe. You ready for me to fuck you? Gonna give it to you so fucking hard. I know you like it like that. Get on all fours for me." Dave can hear clothes being removed, wet kisses and your clearly fake words of agreement.

"Gonna give you my big, fat cock under the tree." Dave rolls his eyes, knowing the younger guy is average at best and doesn't know what to do with it.

"Best Christmas present. Fuck let me look at those pretty tits. Am glad you didn't get that surgery I said you should get. These fit nicely in my hands." Dave wants to shoot him.

"You getting wet for me babe? Let me feel. Oh fuck. So wet." 'Thanks to me Asshole.' Dave thinks with a smirk on his face.

"You need me to make you come don't you?" Your fake plea gets under Dave's skin. You should never have to fake it.

"Don't worry I'll take good care of you. Fuck. So wet. So tight. Fuck. Fuck." Dave hears the awkward jack rabbit rhythm of Shithead fucking you, gasping and grunting as he does. "Such a good pussy. Don't think I'll last. You close babe? Do you need to touch yourself. Lean forward, go ahead. You love me fucking you from behind don't you? Yeah. Going make you come so hard then.... argh fuck. This pussy is too good." Did he really just cum?! Dave really wants to fucking shoot him now.

"You want me stay inside while you finish? I like feeling your pussy tighten around me." 'Then do the fucking work you stupid bastard.' Dave nearly rips the arm from his desk chair as he grips it in anger.

"Let me grab those awesome tits. Help you along." Dave was disgusted, he didn't love his wife anymore but he at least put the effort in when they had sex. Even when he knew all about her fucking the girls' piano teacher. He always made her come. The whole thing lasted about 2 minutes. You made some obviously fake sounds of enjoyment during it. Shithead didn't seem to notice.

Dave can hear you working hard to get there. Part of him wanted to walk right over there, rip that limp dick right out of your cunt and bury his in it's place. Show Shithead how much you like it. How a man really fucks a beautiful woman like you. He was pulled from his thoughts when he heard it. Quietly at first then louder. "Daddy. Oh Daddy." His ears pricked up at your special nickname for him. You only used it when you really wanted to let go. The whole 'Daddy/good girl thing wasn't your thing but just using that innocent word during sex made you feel dirty.

"You wanna try some kinky shit? OK, am your Daddy, yeah."

Dave chuckled as he heard you growl dismissively. "Daddy give me your come. Plug me up. I love taking your load. So fucking sexy Daddy. Oh. Am cumming just for you Daddy. Only you. Daddy!"

"Fuck, that was good. You like that kinky stuff huh?" Dave cringes as he hears Shithead kiss you. He did even wait for your answer. "Am gonna get a shower then check my emails."

After showering you check your phone.

MY: Did you enjoy cumming for Daddy?

You froze. How did he...? Were you that loud? You don't reply.

MY: I work in security remember. A small bug is nothing.

Carol's present. He asked was it under the tree. Fuck. He was listening. You don't know how to feel about that. Should you feel violated? Excited? Ultimately, you feel turned on.

Me: You can do that? You were listening.

MY: Yeah I can do that there's a lot you don't know about my job.

Dave knows he's playing with fire, letting you into his business, but he know you won't push it further.

Me: Apparently.

MY: I also have some work friends who would like to hear a presentation from your husband this week. He'll be gone for a few days. The same time that Carol will be visiting the in laws and I'll have an unexpected work emergency so I'll have to stay home.

Even though your skin is still slightly damp from the shower and you are wearing nothing a towel in the cool room your skin flushes.

MY: I was listening. To him fuck you like a horny teen. To you making fake ohs and yeses. To you cumming, thinking of Daddy. Of me.

-Daddy is going to spend 72 hours making you cum every way he can. Good job your neighbours will be away. Am going to make you scream so fucking hard.

Grabbing one of your hidden toys from the bathroom, you turn the shower back on and step back under the spray. Just the thought of having Dave all to yourself for 3 days drives you crazy. You're so busy taking care of yourself in a effort to calm down than you miss his next message.

MY: Merry Christmas.

Next

[hermannsthumb]

Could you do #40 cancelled holiday party? Thank you!

40. i just found out that a friend of a friend of a friend isn’t hosting their annual holiday party this year, so now how am i going to have my annual run in with you?

from winter writing prompts here

happy xmas eve, if you celebrate it!

-------------------

Newt doesn’t really have many friends, and certainly not enough to warrant a flood of party invitations come December, but for the past few years he’s been able to rely pretty consistently on at least one. Back when the band was still together, his drummer had a pretty cool girlfriend who would sometimes let them tag along as the entertainment for parties around town, and her brother (who was almost as cool as her) ended up liking the way they sounded so much he invited them back to his own parties a couple times. Then he dated Newt’s guitarist, and then he broke up with Newt’s guitarist, and then he dated Newt, and then he broke up with Newt, and it sort of fell apart from there (and so did the band), but the breakup was actually pretty amicable, and he’s never failed to extend the invitation to Newt for his annual holiday bash as a courtesy. And Newt’s never failed to make an appearance. What’s there not to like, you know? It’s free booze, free food, and the chance to not feel like a total loser loner for once. Plus…well. Another reason.

But this year isn’t looking too good for Newt.

“Sick?” Newt says. “What do you mean he’s sick?”

“I mean,” Newt’s ex-drummer says, irritably, “he’s sick. Caught the flu or something. I don’t know, Jackie just wanted me to call and tell you, she didn’t give me any details.”

“Couldn’t he have called me himself?” Newt says.

“No,” Newt’s ex-drummer says, “I told you, he has the flu, he’s totally out of it, man. Party’s off this year. Hey, did you get our Christmas card?”

“What? Oh. Yeah,” Newt sighs. He tacked it up on his fridge: the two women with their arms around each other, one pink-haired, one blue-haired, holding up their cat in the middle like it was their son or something. Clever. Quirky. Newt just makes a generic Tweet mid-December wishing everyone a happy holiday season and calls it a success—less effort. “Yeah, it was cute. It’s definitely cancelled? He can’t just, I don’t know, take some Advil or something and—”

“Newt,” she says.

“Yeah, okay, fine,” Newt says. “Tell Jackie to tell him to—get well soon? Soon enough for New Year’s, maybe? Because it would be great if—”

She hangs up on him. Newt probably deserved it.

He stalks Jackie’s brother’s Facebook for a bit after the phone call to make sure he’s not just lying about the flu to get out of inviting Newt to the holiday bash he’s definitely having. It becomes clear pretty quick it’s pretty legit—he’s made exactly one post in the last few days, and it’s a selfie of him looking absolutely horrid in his bed, advising everyone to not be like him and get their flu shots. Not lying, then. Damn it. There’s not even going to be anything for Newt to crash.

“Damn it,” Newt groans, and slams his laptop shut.

In all honesty, Newt’s not pissed about missing the party itself. He’s pissed about missing the party guests. How else is he going to have his annual spat at the snack table with his mortal enemy, Dr. Bitchy, British, Badly-Dressed Gottlieb?

Mortal enemy is too strong. Rival, maybe? Though certainly not a friendly one. He’s fond of Dr. Gottlieb, really, in some insane, backwards kinda way, like he’s a specimen Newt would love nothing more than to cram under a microscope and study up close. What makes him tick? What makes him scowl like that, yell at Newt—more or less a stranger—like that, attend the same party year after year like that only to stand in the darkest corner like a vampire and avoid every single other person? The first time they met was at the party three years ago, when Dr. Gottlieb loudly accused Newt of deliberately snagging the last cucumber finger sandwich because he somehow knew Dr. Gottlieb was eyeing it up, too, and only did it to annoy him, and it’s only gone downhill from there. Or maybe uphill. He fascinates Newt.

He’s also insanely attractive to Newt. Bitchy, British, Badly-Dressed, but, my God, what a set of cheekbones, what a set of eyes, what a big ‘ole mouth that Newt can only assume would be awesome for kissing. And only a few inches of height on Newt, too; he wouldn’t even need to stretch up that far to test out his hypothesis.

Since Newt has Facebook open, he does another search for Dr. Gottlieb—Dr. Hermann Gottlieb, technically, though he’s furious whenever Newt tries to call him anything other than his full title. If Newt was normal, he’d just shoot the guy a friend request or something. A simple message. He just stalks his page instead, which makes him feel the sting of the cancelled party even more keenly: Dr. Gottlieb doesn’t post, like, any pictures of himself, but the ones he’s been tagged in by his company and someone who appears to be his brother make it very clear very fast that he kinda just got even hotter over the year. He’s started wearing his oversized glasses on a librarian chain, and his haircut—which had always been a severe sort of undercut—has grown out up top to be adorably poofy. Tragic.

He shoots his ex-drummer a text later. Can you ask Jackie to ask about that Gottlieb guy that’s there every year? Like, what’s his deal?

The reply comes later, while Newt is reheating some leftover Chinese takeout for dinner. they’re friends w gottlieb’s younger bro. mostly invite him to be nice.

“Figures,” Newt mutters.

Well, if there won’t be a party at which to have their annual run-in, Newt is simply going to have to orchestrate a run-in himself. The first step is finding out where Gottlieb works.

Newt picks a miserable day to set his plan into action. A snowstorm swept through the city a few days prior, and before the sidewalks were even finished dethawing, a sleet storm followed and turned them into eighty-percent sheets of ice. And then more snow comes. Newt slips and slides all the way to the cafe across from Gottlieb’s humble little robotics research facility, cursing himself for not having invested in proper winter boots yet. Docs are practical and cool, but they could be warmer, and Newt’s are so old the treads are basically nonexistent. He orders himself the most expensive coffee on the menu as a reward for his troubles and claims a chair near the large shop window in front, underneath a hanging fern. He would simply wait and watch for Gottlieb to walk out. The man had to walk out eventually. Lunch break, or coffee break, or even just clocking out for the day. He had to.

“Would you like to see our sandwich menu, sir?” a waitress asks Newt. “We have a new—"

“Nah, no thanks,” Newt says. He doesn’t tear his eyes away from the window. “You don’t have to call me sir, by the way. It makes me feel old. Does a Dr. Gottlieb ever come here?”

The waitress snorts involuntarily; she flushes a second later. “Sorry,” she says. “It’s just that—yes, Dr. Gottlieb comes in a lot, and he’s kind of…”

“Awful?” Newt grins.

“Particular,” the waitress says. “He has us remake his coffee if it’s not perfect enough for him. And we have to write out the whole thing, Dr. Gottlieb, on his cup, every time. He tips really well, though, so we don’t really mind.”

“Has he come in today yet?” Newt says.

She opens her mouth as if to answer the question, but then furrows her eyebrows. “Why do you want to know, anyway? Are you guys friends?”

“Not really,” Newt says. Deciding it’s not worth the effort to explain the complex homoeroticism of his dynamic with Gottlieb, and to random waitress who probably doesn’t give a shit at that, he amends “I mean, yes. Good friends. I’ll see that sandwich menu, actually.”

Newt has a nice breakfast of avocado and egg on a bagel, and pretends to do work on his laptop for a few hours, but—to his disappointment—Dr. Gottlieb doesn’t come in for a coffee. Newt doesn’t catch sight of any familiar dark-haired, scowling men walking in or out of the institute, either. Gottlieb must have off today. Maybe it’s for the best, anyway; Newt’s not totally sure what he would’ve done if he ran into the guy on the street, or how he would have even explained why he’s there to Gottlieb if he did. He was just sort of operating under the assumption he’d figure it out in the heat of the moment. He calls it quits around three in the afternoon, not wanting to walk home in the dark after sunset. “Happy holidays,” he tells the baristas gloomily, and steps out into the snow with one last cardboard cup of coffee.

He mulls it all over in his head as he avoids ice patches and passersby on the way home. Should he ask for Dr. Gottlieb’s number? Is it weird to ask your ex, or even his sister, for the number of a guy you’re sorta-interested in? Newt supposes it’s weird to invite your ex to a holiday party in the first place, but he really wasn’t lying about it being amicable. Maybe he wouldn’t care. He could always just send that fucking Facebook friend request. Or he could just wait until next year. It’s just a year.

He’s so distracted that he doesn’t notice the patch of ice directly in front of his apartment until he’s already stepping on it, and his stomach flips in a way that lets Newt knows he’s just fucked up; his worn-out boot loses traction, his arms pinwheel, his coffee goes flying, and he lands—

In someone’s arms?

Well, even that’s not totally right. He lands mostly in someone’s arms, but he hears a little oof, an exclamation of surprise, and then they both topple over and into a snowbank. The coffee lands somewhere next to Newt’s head. “Bugger,” a familiar voice groans.

Newt sits up. Dr. Gottlieb is laying on his back next to him, wrapped in a green parka and about three scarves. To Newt’s relief, he doesn’t look angry. More embarrassed than anything else. “Apologies,” he says. “You were heavier than I’d anticipated. Or perhaps I was not as strong as I anticipated.”

“I appreciate it anyway, dude,” Newt says.

He gets to his feet, locates Gottlieb’s cane from where it’s somehow landed on the other side of the sidewalk, then tugs Gottlieb to his feet as well. Gottlieb makes a face as he rights himself. “You ought to watch yourself, and be more careful,” he says. “You could break your neck next time.”

“Worried about me?” Newt says. He dusts some snow off Gottlieb’s shoulders. “What are you doing outside my apartment, dude?”

“Er,” Gottlieb says.

He goes a strange shade of pink, and clears his throat. “I fancied…a walk. In the snow. Fresh air. And I just happened to be—er—” He clears his throat again. “I happened to discover you lived here, and my walk happened to take me by. I wasn’t looking for you, if that’s what you’re implying. Or waiting for you. I have better things to do with myself.”

“Really?” Newt says. “’Cause I was looking for you.”

“Oh,” Gottlieb says.

He really is cute right now, with his red-tipped ears, his dumb coat, his dumb scarves, the snow sticking to his back and his poofy hair. Sticking to his long eyelashes. It’s the first time Newt’s ever seen the guy not, like, at least mildly annoyed at him; it’s doing something funny to his heart. “Hey, you wanna come in for a coffee or something?” he says. “Mine kinda spilled, and I could go for another.”

“I couldn’t possibly,” Gottlieb says.

Newt grins. “Come on, I know you want to. It’s cold as shit out and you’ve clearly been out here for a while. We can order a pizza or something, too.”

“Well,” Gottlieb says, and he ducks his head as he finally smiles back. It’s worth the wait, because my God, is it cute, all broad and crooked. Newt has the feeling not too many people get to witness it. “Perhaps for a bit. I was hoping to discuss your latest article with you, you know, and was very put out when I learned I wouldn’t be seeing you at the party this year.”

“Oh?” Newt says. He holds out his hand, and Gottlieb startles visibly a moment before taking it. Newt can feel how cold Gottlieb is even through his thick red mitten—he could use a little warming up. Newt can light a fire in the fireplace he rarely uses…maybe break out some wine…it’ll be nice and romantic… “Did you like it?”

“Not in the slightest,” Gottlieb says cheerily.

“Just what I was hoping,” Newt says. “After you, Doctor.”

[lifewithchronicpain-original]

As someone who has to get a flu shot every year because I’m at-risk for pneumonia and other lung complications from the flu that could kill me, I want to talk about what it’s like to suffer from breathing problems, and why the covid 19 pandemic just isn’t the same as the flu. I had pneumonia 5 times as a child from catching a cold or flu, and a 6th time happened in 2011. The regular flu has always concerned me. However, coronavirus fucking scares the shit out of me.

Starting with the fact I can’t get a vaccine, it spreads at a higher rate, and kills at a higher rate than the flu even if we can’t pin down the exact rate due to lack of testing. I have been intubated and extubated twice in my life as a child and adult, it’s not fun. Waking up with a tube down your throat unable to remember anything after hitting the ER counter with my mom, Scary As Fuck. And I had my family to be there both times. First time I was 4 and came home on Christmas Eve. The love I felt both times absolutely helped. Meanwhile coronavirus victims only have phone calls and face time (if they can get access) to get support, and for many see their family one last time.

The flu, while nasty, comes predictably every year and at a slow rate of hospitalization that does not make hospitals overwhelmed. I’ve been to the hospital many times, being sick and needing a nurse sucks. It sucks even more when they’re busy and a request for water can take two hours.

Lastly, I am an asthmatic since the age of 1 when I had my first flu and was diagnosed. I have had epiglotittis, pneumonia, collapsed lungs (both at the same time) and so many colds that didn’t end with a hospitalization but the doctor had to put me on prednisone. I know what it’s like to have an asthma attack in your sleep, and you don’t wake up right away, and dream of trying to relieve it but you can’t because it’s not just a dream. I know how scary and painful it is to struggle to breathe and this virus attacks that ability with a particular cruelty I have never seen before. I know what it’s like to gasp for breath that hurts with every inhale and exhale, and I can’t imagine being that way for 2 weeks to a month to let it run its course. I’ve never suffered severely for more than a week myself. So even the less severe cases scare the fuck out of me. And then there’s that added knowledge that if I catch this disease, that would be a best case scenario because I am at-risk for dying.

And lastly, what scares the fuck out of me about this virus is it doesn’t follow the common rules of virology. There may very well be no immunity after catching it, and the amount of asymptomatic cases is frighteningly high, making it all the more difficult to protect yourself and all the more lethal.

As I said before, I have lived with the threat of the flu fucking me up all my damn life. Covid 19 is so much fucking worse, it terrifies me and this is why we must see social distancing through to the end, or more people will die.