still thinking about the upsetting npc I had the displeasure of meeting yesterday. fuck the shivering isles
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Yeah I was working on another actual fic but uhhh the 'Nari brainrot took over so uhhh here take me going insane over him and rambling about what comes to my mind. Kay? Kay.
Warnings - nsfw, mating cycle talk from a person who only has google by her side, absolutely not proofread having gone straight from brain to paper, and just know there is a solid chance I'll have more to say about this in the future.
Tighnari, by his very nature, is a very compartmentalized person. His own problems stay within himself to be dealt with later when he is done and everyone else's needs are already attended to. Always concerned with helping others and keeping things in order, even to the point of staying up into the early hours of the morning, less concerned with himself than those around him. If he’s ever struggling with anything at all, he will do absolutely everything in his power to keep anyone from knowing about it, much less something as personal as this.
In the early months of the year, especially as Lantern Rite nears, Tighnari becomes withdrawn. Quieter, more distant. The Forest Watchers have been talking for forever back and forth swapping theories and rumors in not so hushed tones.
“I heard Master Tighnari lost a family member around this time of year.”
“Really? I heard he just reeeeally hates any kind of festivities especially Lantern Rite because it's so noisy, even when not in Liyue.”
“I dunno, maybe he's just sensitive to the cold?”
Unlike the usual case where he was quick to nip such chatter in the bud and tell off the Rangers for gossiping, he remains entirely silent on the issue, otherwise carrying on as usual. Setting up excursions, documenting his findings, helping and guiding wherever he was needed…
Until he just can't stand it anymore. With hardly a word, save perhaps to Collei to ask her to care for things in his absence, he retreats, hiding himself away in his hut, barricading himself in completely so no nosy Rangers have any reason to loiter around.
He hates it.
He understands it's natural and it's going to happen and blah blah blah, but it was such a nuisance to his life he would give anything to not have to put up with it. The worst of it usually lasts a week or two before he can at least carry some semblance of normalcy and feel willing and able to return to work, but while he's in it, it drives him insane.
Some years it's so bad that he can't even focus on anything other than the absolutely filthy thoughts that plague his mind, his hands shaking so hard he can't even hold a pen long enough to attempt any sort of work. Even like this he just doesn't feel right not being productive especially when he's always running around here and there the rest of the year, why should this be any different?
Head slamming into his desk with a groan, a flush curling up his cheeks and neck. Eventually he has to crack, begrudgingly caring for the needs that grow and grow and grow and become nigh insatiable during his rut.
It starts out almost clinical, looking to just take care of a symptom of an illness almost. Face flushed, lips curled into a deep frown, he sits at his desk, fisting his cock with precision, hoping to get it over with as fast as possible by hitting everything just right.
But no. After dealing with this for years you think he would have known by now that just once isn't enough, yet he still hopes year after year. It only gets worse. Over and over and over again until he's just sore and it hurts. Until he can't keep jerking it lest he make his own skin turn raw. By this point he usually finds himself in his bed, ears flat and face buried into some blankets to muffle the pathetic whimpers that left his lips as he kept grinding his hips into the pillows over and over and over and over, chasing even the slightest modicum of relief.
And most of the time, as annoying as it is, it was completely fine for him to just be stuck imagining some faceless, nameless mate beneath him as he struggled to sate these urges. However, if Tighnari has a bit of a crush… Well, he'd be in for a rude awakening if he hadn't already acknowledged his feelings for you.
I could see poor Tighnari getting almost ill as he realized the cute moans he was imagining sounded a little too much like your voice. Everything freezes for a moment, his stomach lurching both from the realization and the sudden loss of friction when he faltered. He tries so hard to brush it aside, chastising himself for pulling you into his filthy mind right then. But it doesn't stop. Your face, your voice, your skin. Everything. Everything stays in his mind and he cannot stop it. He feels such overwhelming shame about it, but… he does eventually give in and just let whatever fantasies take root, especially since it seems to ease the feelings when he does.
But when he sees you after the worst of it is over and he leaves his hut, guilt grips around his heart and memories of those fantasies rush into his head, leaving him turning on his heel to avoid you at all costs, honestly risking you thinking he hates you with how intensely he's ignoring you.
It's even worse because Tighnari considers hiding in his hut again for even longer as usually he was fine when the worst of it passed, he could resume his duties, but with you around, he could feel his hands shaking, the intense urge to find you wherever you were and pin you down immediately was so strong it scared him a little. Sometimes it caught him off guard too, like he would catch your scent on the breeze and while in his rut, he would genuinely get so horny so fast he's gotten lightheaded, having to catch himself on whatever was nearby so he didn't go crashing down.
If he hated his rut before, the shame of all this made him absolutely loathe it.
Maybe one day you can find a way to make it a liiiiittle more bearable for him ♡
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Another DPxDC story idea/prompt sorta thing (#3)
I don't know that all you all DPxDC peeps fully realize what you've done with deciding to make ectoplasm basically the same material what's in Ra's Al Ghul's Lazarus Pits... Because basically, what you've all done is turn the Lazarus waters from a resource that is INCREDIBLY rare and limited, that a singular man controls and keeps a secret from the rest of the world, and made it accessible to anyone with the gumption and ability to attack and hunt ghosts. In other words... You've all made a CURE for ANY and ALL terminal conditions readily accessable via harassing any ghost and have therefore given everyone a very justifiable motivation to hunt ghosts and juice them for as much ectoplasm as possible!
Let me say it again. Lazarus Water is a cure for ANY terminal issue! Terminal brain cancer? Cured! Got shot and are bleeding out? Cured! Did a backflip off of a cliff and landed on your neck? There's no cure for stupid, but that whole dying thing can be CURED! And only at the cost of temporary insanity! (Or sanity if you were already insane. :p ) As long as you are about to die or were brought in just after dying, you can be cured of whatever would have killed you!
Of course Ra's would want to control this resource as much as possible once these properties are discovered, as I've discussed before. But after Ra's has been dealt with... Wouldn't it be quite callous and cruel to keep this a secret...? If you harvested a bit of ectoplasm from some ghosts... No child would ever have to die of a terminal illness ever again... Babies born in precarious situations could be healed with very little risk. Loving parents would never have to worry about dying and leaving their children behind with no one to care for them... Certainly Batman could not allow such injustices to continue when there could be such an easily replicable cure!
So here's a thought... After Ra's Great Ghost Juicening (tm), Jack and Maddie start an ethical ghost catch and release program. They capture invasive ghosts that are living in the human realm, capture, and release them back into the Ghost Zone, but before releasing them back into the ghost zone, they are given a health check-up, and are given the option of donating ectoplasm for terminally ill humans! (It would basically be the ghost equivalent of donating blood.) Maddie and Jack are more than happy to give the ghosts passing through fair compensation, of course! But since money largely doesn't mean anything to ghosts, it would have to come in the form of like... Objects they like or tasks that they want done for them. So Jack and Maddie might give the Box Ghost a palette of unbuilt boxes! Or they might give Technus whatever old technology is sitting around the house that isn't being used! Danny can be rewarded for donating with his favorite meal. If Vlad is behaving and donating, they can reward him with kisses.
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So I saw @hermesmyplatonicbeloved 's post and had some thoughts. I agree and disagree. I am a percabeth fan but I also know that some of it is screwy, and if you are familiar with my blog, you know this. I think RR screwed up and wrote out a LOT of trauma, I think he really should have dealt with that better. I think it's not good that he wrote trauma and mental issues and abuse into the foundation of many characters and then has ignored it when it became convenient for the plot.
I would love to see specific quotes and books for these because some of them I have no memory of and would like to revisit them.
I'm gonna talk my way through all of this so I'm gonna text break here
The first point is Percy scaring her to tears. I can only imagine in Tartarus? Like when they're both in their worst state? I don't know. I agree they should have talked about it, but I think they should have talked about all of HoH, which brings me back to saying: Rick really failed at dealing with trauma and processing and long term effects. Honestly, being scared *of* him, yeah I agree that's bad, but is that the situation? If she's scared by his power, then I'm not sure of where I stand on this, I don't know anyone with demigod powers, but I don't think I'd be scared simply because I know someone is capable of hurting me. Plenty of people are capable of hurting me. Like I don't know, what situation is this?
"Percy has been suicidal the whole time annabeth has known him, in BoO Percy attempts suicide and annabeth said nothing, noticed nothing" I'd really like a page or quote because i remember him being suicidal but never attempting. (Im rereading what i wrote, is this maybe referring to percy deciding it would be better if he drowned when hes with Jason? If so, I thought the book said annabeth wasn't told that he wanted to give up) But really my bigger issue with this statement is the fact that it's not necessarily a bad relationship just because a person doesn't realize someone is suicidal, or if their suicidal thoughts are fluctuating. If he's been suicidal the entire time she's known him, how should she know? And why is it the girlfriend's job to stop him from suicide? Like yeah she should care, but that's not her responsibility. No one should feel responsible for a significant other's suicide unless they encouraged the SO to do it.
The judo flip, I agree, annabeth should have been more sensitive to Percy's past and again, I blame Rick for conveniently forgetting that an abused kid is not going to laugh or even take well to being thrown on the ground. This also reminds me of a post I made a while back, because I was so frustrated by media portrayals of women getting upset (usually worried) about another character and shaking them or hitting them or using some form of violence, and that's portrayed as acceptable and normal and as a sign of love. I'm not a fan of that.
"Annabeth likes to keep percy on his toes" this point, I want specific quotes, cause I'd like to go over it again. I agree this is funky. Percy says he feels more comfortable with annabeth and feels like he can talk to her blah blah, but yeah, I think I remember him saying she makes him anxious and that's a problem for me. Like genuinely, to anyone who reads this: if your SO makes you feel uncomfortable, anxious, nervous, or unsafe, please reevaluate your relationship and be safe. That's not good. And back to percabeth, I'm really not sure why RR would say that.
Bringing up abusive stepfather. If annabeth didn't already know about Gabe...I don't know, that says to me that percy was too traumatized to talk about it, in which case, why can annabeth see it in his actions, his comments, his reactions? I don't know that either. But I do know that having met my fair share of traumatized kids, it's not at all uncommon for them to share trauma as a joke and for multiple kids to laugh it off, not to mention suicidal jokes or jokes about their own abuse. Now I want to be clear, I'm not saying that's healthy, I think that's bad, but I also think it's common. And if annabeth doesn't realize what he's really talking about, or is caught up in her own experience, or is uncomfortable, laughing is not an uncommon response. And I don't think that makes their relationship toxic. (And I'm saying it again: I think Rick wrote that so that people could say oh poor percy and feel strongly about how horrible the situation is, but he didn't want to get into the trauma, so by annabeth laughing it off, he can move on with the scene but include little details that show how bad tartarus is)
I don't remember any comments about poseiden, but I agree her interactions with Tyson are problematic. I have zero explanation or excuse, I really don't know what rick was thinking with that, unless it was maybe a way to signify how all halfbloods feel about monsters? (Now that I've said that, that kinda makes sense, if percy sees a monster who was his human friend, but everyone else just sees a monster who is just like the other monsters who have killed their siblings. But still. Annabeth saying he was gross was uncalled for, Rick could have said she was scared or concerned this was a trick or something, but disgust?)
I agree about Percy's unresolved trauma manifesting as fear of annabeth. I already commented on the judo flip, see comments above.
Percy absolutely has horrible self asteem. I'm not sure that's annabeths problem. Yeah she should support him in every way she can, but it's not her responsibility or anyone else's to make him feel better about himself. She should want to, and she should be positive and encouraging, but I don't think Percy's lack of growth is her problem or necessarily a sign of a toxic relationship. It can be, but I'm not certain it is in this case. I think, as I'm sure you know if you've read this much, Rick doesn't know how to write characters who are further along in their trauma- processing, healing, discussing- rick fails to deal with anything besides a currently traumatized kid and a unresolved but out of the directly abusive situation. (This is where I'd like to note, the whole seaweed brain thing, not funny to me, not cute. I'm not a fan because I do think that encourages negative self image. I am aware that that could be link to annabeths childhood, but again, I would expect her to be hyperaware of this sort of emotional abuse. And I blame Rick. Why does she never have her actual abuse mentioned?)
I don't recall annabeth pushing percy to choose between them. I would have said she had doubts about him still wanting to go to CA and he said that he regretted not being there for Estelle but didn't want to be without annabeth (which is kinda cute, kinda codependent to me, and I agree, codependency is not cute)
I would argue the last point "Percy has no interest in going to New Rome or University" is clearly false. In SoN (2nd book of HOO) Percy discovers there are full families living in New Rome, and how it's safe there, and he says multiple times that he wants that, how he remembers he had a girlfriend named annabeth and he wants her to be there and wants to be able to settle down *there*. And in ChaliceotG he's torn, because he does want to stay in New York for his mom and sister, but he really wants to be with annabeth and he loves new Rome. He says multiple times how he wants to go to New Rome. Its true, if the only reason he wants to go is for annabeth, that's a bit funky. But new Rome is the safest place for demigods, and he's been in wars for years, of course he wants that. And wanting to be out of school- okay? New Rome isn't just about the university, not to mention the New Rome university is focused on kids with dyslexia and adhd, obviously. So it will be tailored to him, his struggles are understood, accepted, and aided. Who wouldn't see the appeal in that?
And finally, I agree, that if a character or couple is going to have broad reach, they should be healthy. That's a problem i have with Colleen hoover and all her toxic relationships that have a large audience and are so loved by that audience. And back to this, I hate that the pjo hoo couples are so focused on in the books because fans always pay attention to the couples, but the focus amplifies them, and I think having a relationship be the main focus of a kids/teen/ya book sets up horrible mindsets, and idolizes relationships and all in all is not good for kids. Percabeth or not, healthy or not, I don't think the emphasis on relationships is good.
I might link some of my other posts that I mentioned or that address similar issues in the reblogs
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HERE COMES NORT, YAPPING ABOUT FANDOMS THAT I’M NOT EVEN IN!
(And i’ll be typing the rest here because there are too many slides so read bellow)
⚠️ WARNING ⚠️
My LONG ASS rant on how MHA (among other things) fails to present its ab*se victims in a good way,
Starring the todoroki family
So, i know literally no one cares but i feel like it needed to be said: but MHA has a BIG issue with victims of abuse being treated kinda shittily, to making whole arcs about their abusers.
This isn’t a HUGE thing, as the lack of sympathy for Hawk’s abusers was definitely there, but they still were portrayed in a semi-sympathetic light. This is not the main focus however.
I’m sure many could go on and on about Bakugou and Midoriya’s relationship, but thats not what i’m focusing on.
I’m focusing on the most OVERLOOKED and ABHORRENTLY handled dynamic of the Todoroki family
I will be going over each of the characters and why they suck in some way, but as a whole i have to talk about this: Each one of the characters of the family are all victims of abuse in some way, and represent the different ways that trauma affects the victim, i understand that.
All in all, they do a good job of portraying the different ways in which the people handle abuse,
Endeavor being one who never dealt with his past egotistical superiority complex and threw his baggage onto his family/children to live vicariously
Rei being the one who is emotionally/physically damaged to the point of a mental break
Touya being the ex-golden child, and the one who continued the cycle of violence (and misogyny but thats another topic for another paper)
Fuyumi being the one who holds onto an idealized version of a family that possibly only existed in her dreams, being codependent and longing/working to get those “happy times” back with her family, clinging onto smth that was possibly never there
Natsuo being the one who is (justifiably) angry at his abusers, cuts his family off and goes to pursue his own life/dreams
and finally shoto
the one who realizes his role as the golden child is only for his parents to live vicariously, breaks his cycle and is trying to figure out who he is.
These are all great representations of how people cope/handle trauma, and i believe that was on purpose, considering that it also speaks on abuse of children on baselines of being in a famous family.
However, certain aspects are clearly not handled properly; allow me to explain.
Shoto, the youngest of the family, is often seen as the architect of the abuse, as the family was actually quite “fine-living” (i’ll come back to this) before shoto was born.
There were obviously cracks in their family from the beginning, Touya being the golden child despite not being able to physically handle his own power without hurting himself (an allegory i’ll discuss), the fact that Enji (endeavor) basically bought his way into marrying Rei, and of course enji’s complex of being less than All-might.
However, many characters seem to blame the birth of Shoto for breaking the camel’s back, and starting the domestic violence that had already threatened to spill through.
It’s shown through the anime that shoto has a kind heart and never liked enji, due to the fact that he would harm him, his siblings, and his mother,
but for being the tritagonist of this show, we never get to see how he really feels. In all of this, perhaps we could see him feeling guilt for being the reason his family is broken, the possible resentment yet dependency he has for his father, the thoughts on how he feels conflicted yet guilty about his mother and continues to blame himself.
Its interesting how he never stops blaming his father, but regardless we only get his apathetic views on his father and no one else. Its saddening to see the sideline of the victim of abuse while his abuser gets a whole arc. But i’m not there yet.
Moving on we have Natsuo and Fuyumi. I grouped them together because they both have opposite ways of dealing with their trauma, as Aforementioned: Natsuo tries to cut all ties while Fuyumi tries to be a “normal” family with her remaining members.
Both of them have valid ways to why they act this way, and its tragic, however, the way they deal with their youngest sibling, shoto, is disheartening to say the least.
Both of them understand how Shoto was physically abused since he was 5, and neglect to form any sort of connection with him despite his better efforts in natsuo’s case, using him as leverage against his father and nothing more, while in fuyumi’s case, basically presents him in her fantastical version of him in their fantastical “perfect” family life, causing him to have multiple meetings with his abuser and forcing him to relive the trauma so she can have peace of mind.
In hindsight, this is all interesting heavy topics to explore in a character, and i was honestly curious to see how it would be handled
however it all faltered as soon as I saw the hospital scene.
SPOILERS:
After Dabi’s Dance, the todoroki family comes to visit Shoto and Endeavor in the hospital, both of whom are heavily bandaged and bed-ridden.
Despite this all, Rei, Fuyumi, and Natsuo force todoroki, who is burnt and recovering his voice, to get up and walk over to his father’s ward to speak to him.
Shoto, despite being unable to form full sentences, makes it FULLY CLEAR he does not want to be there, by closing the door to his ward, and attempting to leave. Despite his clear efforts, his family makes him go in to talk to him.
this 16 year old boy being forced out of RECOVERING, fully bandaged and barely able to talk, forced to visit his abuser to hear him cry about not being able to fight his own son, depsite also being his son and physically harmed by him since childhood.
In my opinion that wasn’t a good move on any of the family’s part.
Rei is a difficult subject to discuss. She is clearly a victim and has been for. while. She is mentally distant after being harmed for so long and spent time in a psyche-ward to handle herself.
Saying that she was a bad mother would be too far in my opinion, as she did her best to provide a nice life for her kids as well as defend them from her husband.
Not much is said about her, but from what we can tell she loved her kids very much, until the abuse started.
I feel the blame for shoto began with her, not being able to face her own son after the “death” of her first and the fact that his face reminded her of the abuse she’s faced from endeavor.
Her character is honestly an interesting one, but she is not safe from my scrutiny of the hospital scene. She was very brave for facing her abuser like this, however, she did not have to drag her bedridden youngest into the fray.
She is the DIRECT reason shoto has a scar on her face, (indirectly endeavor’s fault)
But i will never blame her for the abuse she faced for her children, by her husband and to an extent, her own son touya, which leads me into my next point
SPOILERS
Touya, aka Dabi, is the “Late” eldest brother who was originally Endeavor’s ticket into living vicariously to defeat all-might and be the number 1 hero.
I could go into the psychology of his character but he is ultimately very interesting. In all honesty the way he is presented as being the consequences of endeavor’s actions is palpable and honestly quite raw. At a young age, he was handling the pressure of being his father’s perfect creation, and the fame and fortune that followed as he sought his father’s approval. Soon, his quirk began to burn him every time he used it, a fact that endeavor ignored to pursue his goal. Touya’s power became self-harm at some point, an allegory for his disregard for his own life and well-being for his father’s dream which ultimately (literally) exploded on itself.
Touya’s story is interesting, from his abuse causing him to act like his father craving his approval, which lead him to act put against his mother and shoto, while laying his baggage onto his younger siblings, to losing his mind and realizing that he wanted his father dead and continuing the cycle of abuse further.
This is all a deep and interesting way to look at abuse and how the abused may become an abuser, HOWEVER.
MY critique here, is how sidelined his whole arc is, as his story is more portrayed of Endeavor’s past coming to haunt him, all for the watcher to sympathize with endeavor rather than understand how the abuse endeavor put onto touya made dabi. This whole arc was framed to be sympathetic towards endeavor, and to fear Dabi. Don’t even get me started on how Shoto’s feelings meant nothing in this arc, as well as being immediately cut off by a surprise cameo of a character that possibly discredited Dabi’s expose video on his abuser.
Finally, we get to talk about the elephant in the room: Enji Todoroki, endeavor himself.
What is there not to say about this man.
I feel I should start eith the obvious:
The forgiveness/sympathy arc for endeavor was quite possibly the worst thing to ever happen in the anime, and this is not subjective.
The whole arc is based around how Endeavor is a victim of his own mind and is trying his hardest to make up for being a terrible person.
Personally, i love to see character arcs of villains becoming a better person, but thats the very thing: Endeavor is trying to ask for forgiveness from his family, who he abused for 15 YEARS. This is no exaggeration as Shoto is now 16, and his cracks started forming as soon as he was born.
Endeavor had illegally married a woman that he basically bought his way into,
was illegally “breeding” (eugh) for quirk benefits,
Treated one of his son’s like a vicarious version of himself
Physically abused his son (age 5+) his wife, and verbally abused the rest of his children
isolated his son
treated his son like a weapon
and finally felt too prideful for any sort of meaningful apology.
This all adds up to a character who only felt sorry for his actions after the consequences started hitting him in the face, as he only felt remorseful when Shoto refused to be associated with him.
Now, some of you may be thinking: “A lot of characters are forgiven for more, why would he be the exception? It’s fictional why do you care?”
There are several reasons to why I care but i’ll speak in terms of framing for now. This show is highly influential to not only kids (as it is a KIDS SHOW) but to adults as well. May i direct your attention to the man who saved a woman from a murderous ex-boyfriend by blocking his machete hits all because My Hero Academia inspired him to take action and be a hero?
Or how about a murder that took place because the accused was inspired by an invader zim episode (the dark harvest)
Whether you like it or not, fiction HAS an affect on reality. Yes, we can determine what is real and what is fake, but you cannot deny that a lot of what media we consume helps us be who we are.
If the show promotes more sympathy towards an abuser than their victims, then people may find themselves sympathizing real world abusers over the voices of victims.
I wont speak on delicate subjects but I can already see affects of this happening, as people rally to defend famous people accused of being abusers rather than listen and provide support to the alleged victims.
In conclusion, These topics are definitely not easy to write, and I, for one, am NO expert and my word should not be used as gospel truth or a guideline on how to write these characters.
This is all simply my opinion on how the bias towards abusers in the show leads for the message to be skewed and marred in action.
I understand that no one is perfect, but if we only reward and sympathize with those who only seek redemption after they face scrutiny, then we lose the meaning of what makes someone worthy of forgiveness.
These topics are deep and interesting, but the way they are handled in this show is simply bad writing.
Thank you for coming to my ted talk and again: no shade towards the writers. Just critiques!
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A family of three
Character: Jing Yuan × fem!reader (romantically); Yanqing × fem!reader (platonically: mother-son relations)
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[Author note]
Me and my thoughts about Jing Yuan and Yanqing father-son relations are living rent-free in my head as well as different ideas connected with these two, so here we are. (Again, purely my headcanons were used!)
PS. Maybe a little OOC. My apologies for any typos and mistakes! Uni takes the most of my time, so I will correct them when I will be free from my assignments and exam preparation.
Hope you enjoyed reading it and thank you for reading it!
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- You still remember that day very clearly. Being an advisor of Luofu is quite a job, and you have just returned from meeting held in another Xianzhou region, so you decided to work from home
- You have finished your papers for today, and were doing some ink painting, when you heard the main door opened
- To say you were surprised will be not the right word... when you came to greet your husband you saw not only him but him with adorable 4 year old child
- You were confused but decided not to question, who, why and how for now. Being married for God knows how long (being a native person from Xianzhou meant being blessed with long life) you knew that face of your husband, when he was tired and was concerned with some problems. And the mara-struck problem striked again with bigger waves, so you decided not to throw all your question at the General, who already have had enough problems
- When Jing Yuan wanted to introduce you and boy to each other, you were faster and leveled yourself to boy's height
"Hi! I'm Lady Y/n, what is your name?", - you said with warm smile. The boy quietly and shyly said "Yanqing", "Oh what a pretty name! Are you hungry? I baked some mooncakes, and made some spring rolls, wanna try?" The boy beamed with happiness and agreed.
- After eating, you showed boy around. When you entered your study room, Yanqing saw the ink art on your table and asked if he can try to draw too. Of course, you agreed, firstly being kind-soul you are and secondly, how to say no to such adorable child.
- After some tries you proposed your help and boy agreed. Within 30 minutes a masterpiece was finished. You saw that the boy was yawning, so you took him to your bedroom which was closer to you.
"Here, you can sleep here. If you will need something, I will be in the study, the next door, 'mkay?", "Yes, thank you miss N/n!*", "Good, sleep well Yanqing, have sweet dreams~"
- When you and Jing Yuan finished all work-related issues, you sat on sofa reading your favorite book, while massaging Jing Yuan's head which was lying on your lap.
- He said that mara-struck problem was getting more and more serious. And that Yanqing was a son of one of his most trusted soldiers, about whom you have heard, but unfortunately the soldier died because of mara. His wife came to Jing Yuan, and told that she may been striked by mara too, she felt some symptoms of it, and she wanted to ask general to help find new family for Yanqing, so he would life a happy long life.
- Of course, you knew the horrors of person being mara-struck. They became monster, who didn't recognize anyone. Although you are not strategist on the battlefield nor general as an advisor you also dealt with consequences of such curse-illnesses.
- Jing Yuan said that tomorrow he will find a good family, for Yanqing while you proposed to raise Yanqing together. You have had more that enough resourses to ensure that boy will grow up in good conditions. You and Jing Yuan have lived for so long but were too engaged in work that you did not have children of your own.
- Of course the General have had such idea, but he wasn't quite sure, whether you would agree or not. Raising your own child is hard, what to say about not your one? He knew that you are kind and loved children but still it such a big step, what if you felt that you are not ready?
- So after you proposed to raise Yanqing together both of you agreed. Then you held a small discussion, what to renovate in household and what you need to buy for Yanqing. And that how a family of three emerged.
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[Small note]
* N/n stands for nickname, I thought that if your name is quite complicated for child to pronounce, he will use name similar for it, for example - Cecilia = Lilia and so on. But even if it's easy one, children still tend to give some nicknames.
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Salvation (Fem!Yandere Vampire x Reader)
CW: Yandere, yandere monster, captivity, death, non-con touching not proofread, dead dove
Minors DNI
There were too many vampires. Every story had to establish the kind of vampire, lest they’d drown in the sea of possible choices. Not a severe consequence in fiction, but standing before a real-life vampire, you found it frustratingly difficult to navigate between so many contradictory options.
Subtleties had never been your specialty. That’s why, standing before the pale woman, you asked her directly.
”What kinda vampire are you anyway?” You crossed your arms. She seemed almost taken aback by the question, quirking an eyebrow, which earned a huff from you. “You know, what type? Like a Dracula, or old-school horror flick type, or hell, the sparkling kind?”
At this, her face lit up. “Oh. Fancy your chances with any of the options?” You really didn’t, but there were some that were worse than others. She took a few light steps closer to you. “How about a guessing game?”
You sneered. “No thanks.”
“Aw, not even pretending to think it over?” she smiled a cat-like smile, her fangs peeking out. You pretended not to notice but she could probably hear your heartbeat increase.
You had met Albarina while touring the countryside, with hair so golden it seemed spurn out of gold itself, the golden threads framing an elegant face, with fine, pale skin and rosy lips. You had been struck by her intense yet playful gaze.
You, entirely too flustered at her attention, and when she had offered a personal tour of the area from a local, despite only having had a brief conversation, you had agreed much too fast. She had laughed at that, that pearly laughter that rang out with no abandon. Back then it had made you blush, now it made you gnash your teeth in frustration.
She hadn’t brought you to any obvious sightseeing spots, rather, she had brought you to a secluded house. Even while enamored, you had known better than to enter a stranger’s house, but by that point, it was too late, and she had revealed a snippet of her true self, which still lingered in the stinging holes in your neck.
You had fallen unconscious at some point during it and was shocked to find yourself alive still, when you awoke with your head in her lap. Now, you were starting to think it would have been better to simply have died.
Each attempt to escape had been swiftly dealt with by a predator who seemed all too happy to play around with and crush your hopes. By now, you knew any escape attempt would need more planning or better timing, and reluctantly, you had calmed down.
“Oh well,” Albarina said, “With you all settled in, let me show you your room.”
“My room?” You were taken aback by that, you really hadn’t considered any practical elements to this, having spent majority of the day on freaking out and majority of your thinking on how to get away.
“Unless you’re planning on being kept outside on a leash, I think a room would do you good. And a sweet thing like you are best kept indoors. Now, come along.” She hooked her arm around yours, giving you little choice as she led you down winding hallways.
“Why would you even want me around here long enough to warrant a room?”
She hummed contemplatively. “Suppose it’s ‘cause how cute you are? I wasn’t intending for much more than a meal, but you sounded so sweet, just like a songbird. And little songbirdies are best kept rather than cooked.”
She lit up, her eyes glinting with anticipation. “I’ve even gone through the troubles of preparing a nest for my darling little birdie. I’m almost too kind.”
“Too kind?” You mumbled dubiously, as she led you to a door.
“Why thank you. Well, here we are.” She smiled, opening the door. There she revealed a grand room, with gorgeously carved wooden furniture, and a huge bed featuring its own canopy. There was two big issues however:
1. This room clearly already had someone already using it, based on the clothes sprawled out on one of the chairs and the various knickknacks around. Given she had mentioned living alone, who was not hard to figure out.
2. Next to the big bed was a big, golden cage, the floor adorned with soft-looking pillows and blankets.
You gave her a sharp look. “No way. Are you expecting me to sleep in a cage?”
She threw her hands up in the air in mock-defense. “Goodness, no. Most nights will be spent in the bed, the cage is simply a substitute bed for special occasions, or when you’re feeling especially rowdy.”
You were appalled at both suggestions. She raised her eyebrow and smiled cruelly. "Given the situation, you should be happy you're getting to sleep in a bed at all. But it's your room, you can cry if you want to."
And thus, whether you liked it or not, a new chapter of your life had begun.
For most parts, Albarina seemed content simply teasing and playing around with you. Not demanding much more of you than your attention, and at times, your blood. She let you pick the cage over the bed without much more than a small comment, something about you really being like a caged bird, and mean remarks on whether it was even necessary to unlock it at all.
You hoped it never became more than comments, even if you knew by the way the comments grew more pointed, that it annoyed her ever so slightly.
“Little birdie?” Albarina was currently lounging on one of the sofas in the house, a bored expression on her face. You, through no choice of yours, was sitting next to her. “Gotten any closer to figuring out the kind of vampire I am?”
You furrowed your eyebrows, before letting out a small “ah”. Right, the question you had asked the first day. You hadn’t quite figured it out yet, there was small things you had noticed here and there, but with the way she liked to throw out bait, you weren’t sure how much of it you could trust.
The only thing you knew for certain was her taste for blood, along with her abnormal strength, speed and senses. You had yet to fully assert any of the weaknesses, not for a lack of trying, you had attempted to fish out details in conversations, or even lay out small traps that might reveal it to you – but subtleties weren’t your strong suit, and she promptly realized what you were doing each time.
“An annoying one.” Was all you could say, it felt less bitter than to answer no.
“Perhaps,” she changed her position, now leaning over you, her breath fanning your face. “I’m the type that can hypnotize with a glance?”
You shifted uncomfortably, the close proximity of your faces and bodies making you self-conscious of each breath and movement of yours.
“Your heart is beating so fast, darling.” You eyes unconsciously were drawn to her lips.
“Scared I might be able? Or perhaps…” She gently held your chin, lifting your face, and forcing your eyes to meet her mirthful ones. She drew closer until you turned your head away with a frown, hoping she wouldn’t comment on the way your face was starting to match the rosy color of her lips.
All she did was laugh, and for once, you were grateful to hear it.
It had been weeks by the time you finally saw an opening to escape. One that wasn’t in the form of another hapless traveler that she had just happened to give a personal tour leading directly to her own home, or a dinner invitation, that left Albarina full and satisfied, and the travelers… Less so.
In those time, Albarina would just laugh and coo at your “sour reactions”, as if a distaste for death was another silly trait of yours.
But this time was different. You had woken up to a bang, and after a few seconds to regain composure, you realized it couldn’t be Albarina. She didn’t own or use guns. From the looks of it and the way the cage still was locked, you were guessing that Albarina wasn’t home yet from one of her feeding trips, for when she preferred to be the traveler, or as she put it “wanted something exotic”.
This meant she hadn’t returned home, at the very least, despite an increasing lack of patience, she hadn’t actually made true on her mean-spirited jokes of locking the cage for good. Then, who was in the house now?
The sound of thundering steps seemed to compete with your heartbeat. You weren’t sure whether to prepare you to warn someone of a terrible fate, perhaps a burglar who had picked a terrible target, or to fear a threat in another shape. In any case, you felt restless as the sound came closer.
You jumped a little when the doorhandle rattled. Evidently, the door was locked, and the rattling stopped. There was silence for a moment, before another loud bang sounded, and whoever it was, had shot through the lock.
The door opened revealing a large figure, their features obscured by a mask and scarves carelessly wrapped around. On their back, one large sword and one large gun crossed, though the gun they had used seemed to be the small one in their hand. You pressed yourself further into your cage, scared senseless. The figure looked around a bit before their focus inevitably landed on the golden cage, that stuck out like a sore thumb.
They crouched before it, and while you couldn’t see their eyes, you still felt their stare on you. “Did she do this to you?” They spoke with a deep, gravelly voice, resentment lathering their words. It took a moment for you to connect their words, to make any sense of them, when you finally did, you nodded frantically.
“The key?”
“Oh, right. I think there’s a spare in the drawer.” At least you hoped so. You had once seen Albarina misplace the key somewhere, and after pretending to leave you locked in the cage for a bit – and sighed at your lack of response to her inspired comedic work – before fishing out a spare key from a drawer. You figured she didn’t care that it was in reach, given she had good enough hearing to hear you open the drawer, whenever you were free to roam.
The figure put the gun on the table as they looked through the drawer, finally finding a small golden key. As the lock clicked open, you carefully made your way out of the cage. Relieved at having been rescued but still intimidated by the figure that dwarfed you in size.
“Where’s the monster?” You looked up at them, and they must have sensed the uncertainty because they decided to elaborate. “The vampire. Where’s the vampire?”
“You mean Albarina? I… I’m not sure. Somewhere, feeding.” You had talked about Albarina’s feeding habits before, but never had you said it out loud to a figure who treated them with the serious disdain they deserved, the full weight of them hitting you now that Albarina’s dismissive lilt wasn’t there to distract. You shuddered.
“And you?”
“Me?”
“Why are you being kept here?” They stepped closer, and it felt as if the room grew colder. Your head spun trying to keep up with all the possibilities, as you with a sinking heart began to fear if this figure was a threat to you as well.
“I- I don’t know.” You hadn’t realized that you had begun to cry until the figure finally turned away, awkwardly offering you something to dry your eyes with.
“Another cruel whim from a heartless monster then. Or emergency rations perhaps.” They mumbled and turned back to you. “I’m here to deal with monsters like her, you’ll be free soon enough. She won’t lay a hand on you.”
Hope fluttered in your chest, but you didn’t dare trust it yet. “And you? Who are you?”
“A vampire hunter. It’s my mission to eradicate the filth that leeches off humanity. I’ll bring judgement to these vile monsters that seek to stain humanity.”
…
Well, you saw about a million red flags right away from that talk but hoped it wouldn’t manifest in anyway there affected you. Hopefully, this encounter would end with you being rescued and never having to think about these things again.
“…Awesome. Thanks.”
There was silence for a beat, and you were about 70% sure you hadn’t picked the right response.
“What’s that?” They finally broke the silence, pointing at your neck. Reflexively your hand shot up to touch, feeling the puncture marks.
“Biting marks?” You said with a creeping nervosity, it seemed fairly obvious to you that these were bite marks, so you couldn’t comprehend the foreboding air that had followed the question.
“A vampire has drunk your blood?”
“Well, yeah. I have been stuck here with a vampire, so… Seems par for the course, no?” You laughed nervously, though your attempt to answer lightheartedly did nothing to break the tension. Instinctively you backed away, until you hit the drawer.
“It’s unfortunate that I was too late.” The figure sighed. An uncomfortable knot formed in your stomach as you swallowed hard. You hadn’t asked a question, but you didn’t need to ask any to know you were in danger. Your hands blindly fumbled behind you.
“You’ve been infected by its blight. I will bring you salvation.”
Bang!
Blood splattered over your face, and the gun clattered to the ground along with his silhouette. Staring out in the air, unable to move your stare down to the hunter or the smoking gun, you continued to stare out.
With just a single movement, you had taken a life. With such ease, your hands had snuffed out the decades he had left.
“Oh, seems my cute birdie might actually be a bird of prey?” Albarina, who as suddenly as always, stood next to you, cocked her head at your lack of response. Then she rolled her eyes, before smiling sharply. “Oh, don’t pout, with a lifestyle like that, he didn’t have much life left. Really, given who his next opponent would have been, you’re the one who brought salvation.”
She leaned down to you, a mischievous smile on her rosy lips and a mean glint in her eyes. “Say, you reckon me the type of vampire to count obsessively? Let’s see.”
“Huh?” You finally moved your head towards her.
“One droplet,” she said and licked off a blood droplet off your cheek. “Two droplets.” Another lick. “Three droplets.” You shuddered and pushed her head away, she was only being playful, so she allowed it, and only laughed that terrible, pearly laughter. “Don’t fancy that kind, dear?”
“Stop.”
“How inflexible of you, darling. You’re the one asking me. I suppose you could ask someone else, vampire hunters for one, are quite knowledgeable – oh.” Her mouth formed a little “o” as she feigned realization, before giving a pointed look at the corpse. “I guess not.” She shrugged with an airy sigh.
“You’re such an asshole.” Your voice felt hollow, but Albarina paid it no mind, nuzzling into your neck, you could feel her smile against your skin.
“Seems your cage’s gotten dirty too, no matter. It was about time you began using the bed anyway.”
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Only you (Alexia Putellas x Reader Part 2)
Ok so I originally wasn't going to do a part 2 but you persuaded me.
Part one can be found here
2.2k words x
Thank you mi hermosa, I don’t know if you’ve read my other messages but I love you. I’ll fix this x
Of course you’d read the continuous messages she’d sent you over the week. You don’t know how she finally realised the issue, whether she was told or worked it our herself but it was clear she knew. Every morning you would wake up to a little message from her and every night she wished you goodnight. The days were varied, some had frequent messages others had only a few but there were always some.
You never replied. That single message after the match the only one you sent that week. You couldn’t talk to her and pretend like the only thing you were thinking about wasn’t Sofia. How much better suited they were. How you would never be enough for Alexia.
You were trying to go to sleep the night of the final, but just like always you hated sleeping alone. Alexia’s presence in your bed had almost been a constant at one point and now you struggled to fall asleep in the cold bed, her arm not strung across your waist and her light breathing not drowning out the silence around you. You tried to occupy your mind but it always went back to her. She’d probably be partying with her team, you knew they were scheduled to fly back immediately after the final and any trophy always called for a celebration.
A bang at the door startled you, thinking it was some kind of prankster you hoped they would knock once and then leave but when it happened again, and again, and again you realised they weren’t about to go away.
You didn’t live in a rough area but it also wasn’t filled with the rich and famous. This wasn’t the first time you would have dealt with young groups trying to prank you, knowing that the only way to get rid of them was to answer the door. Your stern face didn’t exactly match the fluffy pink pyjamas you had worn to bed but that didn’t even enter your mind.
Top actors could only dream of replicating the surprise yet horror on your face as you opened the door ready to scream at whoever was there but instead you were met by the one woman who had been on your mind all night. Stood there alone, tear marks evident down her face as she almost started crying again at the mere sight of you.
“What are you doing here Ale?” You couldn’t help but sigh, no matter how much her actions had inadvertently hurt you in the past you still hated seeing her upset.
“I couldn’t wait any longer to see you.”
“It’s almost 1 Ale, I’m not doing this right now.”
“I’m sorry I completely forgot that you could have been asleep, did I wake you?” You could see the panic in her eyes that she might have caused further trouble.
“You didn’t, I’m finding it hard to get to sleep right now.” It was like your brain and your mouth weren’t connected. Your brain was telling you to shut the door right now but your mouth suddenly blurted out your problems. “You should probably go get some sleep too.”
“Not without knowing what’s going to happen to us. I’m so scared that I’ve already lost you.”
“Ale….”
“Please Y/N, I know I don’t deserve it and I know you probably hate me already but…”
“I don’t hate you.” Even with all the hurt you felt you couldn’t stand seeing her crying and upset like this. “I’m not doing this tonight but maybe you can stay. Just to sleep.”
She accepted that offer, quickly making her way up to your bedroom and to her side of the bed, letting you curl up in her arms with your head resting on her chest. “I won’t give up without a fight Y/N. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
…..
You hated admitting it but that’s the best night sleep you’d had in a long time. For a moment you almost forgot all the issues, falling asleep in her arms and then waking up like you usually would on a Sunday, the smell of bacon wafting through your house.
Quickly freshening yourself up, you made sure you put on your stern face before you made your way downstairs. It would take a lot more than this to fix what had happened and you couldn’t let her get away with it that easily.
It was hard to keep that up though as you walked into the kitchen, finding her at the stove with just your shirt on and quietly humming along to the radio.
“Hola.” You were knocked out of your trance with her greeting and small smile. “Please sit down, it’s almost done.”
Never in your life have you ever had this much awkwardness tension between you both. You busied yourself pouring you both a cup of coffee from the pot and an orange juice as she plated up the food. You ate in silence, each of you occasionally looking up willing yourself to start the conversation and then cowardly putting your head back down.
You almost couldn’t write it, just as you finished with your food, The both of you awkwardly drinking your coffee when your song came on the radio. The very song that merely two weeks ago would have put a smile on your face but now just gave you memories of that night. The very reason you were now in this situation.
“I guess we should talk about it then rather than just sit here all morning.” You started. “Is Sofia about to turn up because she’s about as much a part of this relationship as I am?”
“You know that’s not true.”
“Do I because every time we go out it’s like she turns up? I’m constantly having to fight just to even have an ounce of your attention.”
“Except from that first time I’ve never once invited her out with us. I don’t know how she’s even finding out where we are.”
“That doesn’t excuse the fact that when she is there you act like she’s the only person you want to be with. It’s like you’re still in love with her.”
“I’m not.” The speed of her response at any other time would have indicated the truth in her words but right now it meant very little. “I love you Y/N.”
“That’s so hard to believe when last week you didn’t even want to dance with me, every invitation I gave you was just thrown back in my face. You spent more time talking about Sofia’s promotion than you did celebrating my birthday.”
“I can’t explain to you how sorry I am. Like I literally feel terrible. Sofia and I we didn’t work for a reason, she’s in my past now. I only see her as my friend, then Keira mentioned about it being weird and Lucy said something as well. I didn’t realise how it could seem to them but most importantly to you.”
“It’s like I’ll never be enough Ale, I’ll never be her.” Realising just how upset you were by this and the root cause of the troubles you’d been having, Ale knelt down in front of you, taking your hands in her own.
“You’ll never be Sofia, Y/N. But I don’t want you to be her, I want you to be you because that’s the person I’m in love with.”
“I’ll never be a football geek Ale, I’ll never have this high powered job. I’ll never match what you deserve.”
“I couldn’t care less about your job, I couldn’t care less about how much you love football. I love who you are as a person. I love how passionate you are about what you do. I love how you support me and care for me. I love how you take Nala on a walk when I’m having a bad day. I love how much my family adores you.”
“You family adores Sofia too.” You argued, sometimes them bringing her up hurt more than her showing up.
“You have no idea how much they adore you, whenever I go round they always ask about you, only you. Alba mentioned you coming on our family holiday before I could even suggest it. They like Sofia as my friend but they pushed me to ask you out.”
“Really?”
“Really, I know this isn’t a short fix. I know I’ll have to work my way back into your good books but I’m ready to put in that work.”
“What about Sofia?”
“She’s pushed the line with this and I can see that now. I’ll message her, set some boundaries. You can see the messages if you want.”
“I trust you Ale.” This whole thing was never about trust and you wanted to assure her of that. “But this needs some sort of change.”
“I know and I’ll do that.”
You couldn’t help but smile at the realisation that not only was this going to change but this was going to change because of Ale stepping up for your feelings. “Thank you.” You whispered, reaching for her hand to pull her onto your lap. “I love you Ale.”
“I love you too.”
….
The next Barcelona team night out was for Jana’s 21st birthday. Thankfully for you the international girls had returned from their break, so Keira and Ingrid were there to catch up with.
The major difference though from the last night out was the reassurance Ale gave you through the night. When you were sat down there was constant contact between you both, you danced together and laughed at each other as we danced with our friends and the birthday girl.
You were expecting Sofia to be there and your suspicions were deemed correct when she walked into the club with Patri’s girlfriend.
It didn’t take her long to come over to your table, yourself and Ale joined by Ingrid, Mapi, Rolfo, Keira and Lucy.
“Hey guys.” She said, conveniently standing at the head of the table next to Ale. Resting a hand on her shoulder you could see Ale tense as she squeezed your thigh and shuffled closer to you so the hand dropped. “Hi Ale.”
“Hi Sofia.” You could see Sofia’s face drop as Ale immediately stood up, taking your hand in her own. “Come on let’s dance.”
“Oh I was just about to suggest a dance.” The girl didn’t give up.
“Sorry this is just for Y/N and I. We love this song.” You’d never even heard of this song but you weren’t about to go against her point, letting her drag you into the middle of the dancefloor. “Do you want a dance then?”
“Always with you.”
You managed to avoid her for the rest of the night, thinking you’d got away with just one interaction with her when you spotted a figure coming out to you as you both waited for your taxi.
“Ale wait.” You had to hold in your groan as Sofia shouted over to you. Your pleas for the taxi to come quicker were left unanswered as she reached you, instantly reaching out to touch Ale again. “I haven’t had the chance to speak to you alone tonight. I thought we could catch up.”
“Sofia, you read my message right?”
“But that didn’t say anything about not being friends.” You’d read the message Ale had sent the afternoon after your talk. She made it clear that it wasn’t ok for her to be at your dates or to corner her at events. She couldn’t call Ale late at night to pick her up from the club. Lastly making it clear that she loved you and Ale wouldn’t put up with her disrespecting you in any way.
“I can’t be friends with someone who’s been almost stalking me for the past six months. How have you even been able to do that?”
“I thought you would want to spend time with me after the theatre trip, I ask around for you. I just wanted to spend time with you,”
“Well don’t, I thought I loved you in the past but that’s over now. I’m with Y/N, I love her. You can’t do this anymore Sofia, you’re clinging to a rope which isn’t even there anymore.”
If she hadn’t been manipulating this whole situation up to now you would have felt sorry for her. You could see in her eyes she still loved Ale and maybe now was the first time she’s truly recognised that this love has gone from Ale. “I’ll leave you both alone.”
“Thank you.” This is the first time you’d contributed to the conversation but you had to do this. “I hope you find happiness Sofia.”
“Thank you.”
The taxi arriving gave you the perfect opportunity to slip away from the conversation, leaving her stood on the side of the road as you cuddled together in the back of the vehicle. “I love you.”
“I love you more.”
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I've not dated or had close relations with moids in years. I've been on the path to spending the rest of my days as a single childfree woman & committing to it as an osawoman. During this time here's what I've learnt, shorter version here:
This lifestyle is a privilege - being able to exist without having to directly depend on a moid romantically/sexually is a luxury. Know the privilege you have and how you can take full advantage of it and keep yourself set. We arent living this way solely bc we're smarter, we were just momentarily luckier. Most women are a political/natural disaster away from losing everything. Bear this in mind; along the way think of "what if" to best start preparing yourself.
Dont bother justifying your ways to people - Most wont and dont want to get it. Save your breath. By getting into back and forth arguments over not marrying moids & not having children you are digging a deeper hole for yourself by giving them more fodder to counter. They wont change their minds. End the conversation short & move on.
You cant save everybody - Ditch the saviour complex. We all get dealt bad hands in life; some worse than others. Other peoples lives arent your responsibility, there's only so much you can do because you've got your own issues too. Besides some are too far gone, you'll only end up drowning or being burned trying to save others especially if they dont want saving.
Recruitment is a waste of time - I often see extensive discourse around this topic w/ some women trying so hard to recruit others into this lifestyle or being separatists, wgtow, etc. All this does is waste time that can be spent on building instead. If some women dont get it oh well it's not the end of the world (although every woman does get it, they're just doing what they can t survive) it doesn't matter long term TO YOU because if you're serious you dont need other womens understanding/stamp of approval to build a network/resources for women; you can get started without them; heck some may join once they see the value like how so many women broke up with their partners after watching the barbie movie. Some women are more focused on recruitment than living the single childfree life they claim to be about and it consumes them - dont let recruitment consume you. Besides other women willingly engaging with moids buys you some time; those who know - know.
Most activism is a waste of time. Things only change when it benefits those in power but they will never relinquish their power entirely. It's great to put knowledge out there for others to learn but getting into discourse having to justify yourself & being swallowed by your activism will do more harm than good. Most activism is a stepping stone at most for the next chapter of your life. Learn to game the system instead of changing the system.
Focus on yourself. Everything as we know it is rooted in the system that has been perfected over the millenias. The problems of misogyny, racism, ableism, etc have existed before we were born and will exist after we die (part of why im not birthing into this mess). Trying to change it is a losing battle. This doesnt mean dont advocate or care about anything but look out for yourself first & be comfortable learning to existing between the cracks. It'll be quite the exercise tho as we've been socialised to prioritise others.
This is not a lifestyle one simply chooses it's something that chooses you. This isn't for everyone, those who know; know. If you require a lot of convincing or handholding then it isn't for you.
It gets lonely. Not because of not having a moidfriend; even when partnered with them many women still feel lonely. It's because most women are moid centric / obsessed and would want to be partnered with an xy someday or already are. Very few women truly commit to or understand this lifestyle irl tbh. Even my moots who are separatists or just single & childfree are halfway across the world. However that said, many women in the community can also be toxic; holding each other to high standards and there being constant bickering. You can befriend moid partnered women but be careful with them. We're surrounded by the system, existing out of core elements of it will come with a degree of isolation but on the bright side there's also peace if it all goes well.
Less is more. The less you say to others the less ammunition they have to hit you with. Bragging about this lifestyle to our predators will only make things harder because they've already got a huge upperhand. Too many of us moving in one go will bring unprecedented waves we're not ready to deal with. See 2, 3, and 4.
Ignorance is not bliss. Completely cutting off from xys including knowledge of their evil will make you unprepared should a threat strike. Not understanding moids nature is how some women think things are as easy as getting up and walking away without considering security & other factors then get suprised when moids strike. I'm not saying drown in true crime & xy evil but dont stray too far you lose touch of reality. Side note this is why women are gaslit about moids nature so that they dont have the chance to effectively prepare. Stay informed. I constantly learn from the women around me. Pay attention to xy motives & tactics. The power they hold, possible moves they may play etc. You wont be able to know/guess everything but stay in the loop nonetheless.
You will make mistakes be prepared to learn
It gets easier to control your attraction to moids overtime (if you're osa) as your focus is elsewhere as you realise there is a more fulfilling world out there beyond marriage & kids. Also life is just so much better. I know most women want the fairytale prince charming or an angel nigel but it's just not happening. Especially in a world like this. The freedom to be able to exist as a person & not a slave/punching bag for a rape ape is BLISS. You get so comfortable with it you wont wanna be with moids anyway especially when you see what other women go through. (Side note this is why women are pushed to being with moids as early as possible so this level of enlightenment is never reached & instead all women know + become accustomed to is suffering at the hands of moids).
As time passes and you mature into this lifestyle you can tell who's new and who's got skin in the game. I wont elaborate here as it'll digress and this note is long as is but those who know; know.
There's so much work to be done it'll last a lifetime. This lifestyle ain't easy. It strays from the norm so the typical guardrails that come with traditional options are out of the picture. The good news is that you can spend time crafting your own blueprint to follow or share with others who are willing. There's such little in terms of infrastructure & resources for single childfree women and yeah xys will likely try to destroy these things but at the same time if it can be done go for it and bear xy threat in mind we gotta start somewhere.
A purpose/guide is important. It's something that's going to guide your life through the ups and downs because it wont be a smooth ride but it'll be something that can make you in situations that break you. This isn't a "fuck you" to moids directly, it's about ourselves. Seeing this lifestyle as some type of "gotcha" against moids will only make things harder and lowkey misses the point of decentering them. I have my reasons for never getting married or having children that are solid (if you need inspiration checkout r/breakingmom on reddit). True comes from seeing something as bigger than yourself; find a purpose in this line of life to keep you going.
Invest in yourself. Personally, financially, etc. Pretty obvious but especially now that you're going to be more alone you need to be able to count on yourself more. With enough investment it can help other women too.
Invest in female network. No gyn is an island. Even though I'm not much of a social person the friends I have make my life better; they've been supportive but also honest. Also support female centric spaces online & offline; they're all that we have lest we be banished to the silo prison of the "nuclear family" or exploitative misogynistic communities.
Get comfortable disassociating/cutting people off. If you want to survive some things/people will simply just have to go.
You arent owed anything from other women, but you dont owe them anything either. The operating word here is owed, I aint saying women shouldn't help each other - I'm saying dont feel entitled. The feminist "girls support girls" schtick is bullshit. We're in a cold world full of ruthless oppression where everyone is just trying to survive however they can; in many cases it helps women survive when they turn on other women instead of on moids. Solidarity works because those who have solidarity politically speaking are people with power, it works in their interest to stand & work together as to keep + maintain their privileges in society so there wont be much female solidarity as in many cases it's not worth it to women long run. It aint right but that's how they perceive it so watch your back.
Everything is political. Always remember this. Many (privileged) people try to downplay politics & its effect but it runs our world which is why they want you blind to it. Pay attention.
There's merit to being around like-minded women even if it's just online. Like I said before it gets lonely. Very few women are willing to face & accept the truth about maIes. Being around like-minded women can be depressing sometimes as they drop blackpills bitter than you can initially handle but at least you dont feel so isolated/crazy.
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Skip, Julie here. I worked for 43 years in fantastic jobs. Some as an employee, in HR, and in Senior Management. My employers were very well known Companies or Government. They had sick leave policies where employees from CEO to newest employee were entitled to medical leave and privacy of all medical information.
As a Manager I was aware of some very serious medical issues and we offorded those people complete privacy. Time to heal was dependent on their medical team despite how much they might have been needed in the workplace (perhaps being the only person with authority or highest level skill to deal with something vital).
A couple of these medical issues dealt with very serious surgery plus complications, and convalescence to deal with consequences of how their bodies or lives were changed and the mental processes they had to go through to understand and accept the changes.
Under no circumstances would I have ever thought it necessary to inform the other employees what was happening with the ill employee other than to update the return date. These people worked closely together but knew the value of allowing the one who was ill the time and space to fully recover. My contacting the employee for an update on whether they needed us was their choice to make, not mine or the company.
Princess of Wales is a senior member of a firm and a much loved member of a family. In her case she has a world wide family who care that she has been seriously ill and as family members we just want her to fully recover physically and mentally from her ordeal. We care and I think that says so much about how highly people around the world think of her.
As a senior member of the firm her bosses are aware of her illness and prognosis and have given her sick leave based on medical advice. I know the taxpayers of the UK keep up the mantra of BRF works for us, we pay them. Ok they are shareholders in the Company and they have an interest in ensuring the Company is providing the service they expect from it. The Company is BRF but no Company provides health information on senior employees except the CEO for obvious reasons. The company continues to operate even if a very important senior staff member is unwell.
My personal view is Catherine has been through a major abdominal surgery that has immediate and long term consequences for her. For HER, her husband and her 3 children. She does not owe any of us an explanation or an update. She loves her job and she does it brilliantly. She is totally loyal to King and Queen, her parents, siblings and the Commonwealth. She will never intentionally cause harm to her husbands family members.
People need to give her the same space we would all expect if we were seriously ill. I know people want to know what happened to her but really it is none of our business. Our role is to allow her time to fully heal so she can return to her role in the Company as soon as possible. No doubt she is already working behind the scenes.
I’m sorry this is long winded but I feel for her. 20 years of trying to please everyone yet when she needs some help people turn on her some will be because they are worried others for their own reasons. People need to send a private message of support but otherwise let her heal.
Princess of Wales, Catherine, God bless and keep you and your family fully protected and return you to full health We await your return, with patience, to your essential role for the Monarchy and we look forward to seeing you with your beautiful family vase soon as you feel you are fully recovered.
This is a lovely, thoughtful post Julie…no not too long. I greatly appreciate the time and your experience you have shared with us. I am quite proud of the fact that the people that come to this blog, are sensitive and caring and express nothing but support for Catherine and her family. People are so concerned with “accountability “ these days….people are simply forgetting that behind the public life….is a real life going on, and people are dealing with all the same issues as everyone else. The old “walk a mile in my shoes” comes to mind! Thank YOU again Julie!🙏🏻❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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The Date
PREVIOUS PART | MASTERLIST | NEXT PART
Part: 9
Pairing: Jason Todd x Female Reader
Length: 2.7k
Warnings: mention of stalking, minor swearing
basically everything jason says in this chapter about bruce and batman and his injury is all a lie to some degree - he’s just making it up as he goes to protect their secret identities- hope you enjoy!
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When you woke up, there was a steady hand moving up and down your back. You opened your eyes slowly, blinking up at Jason while he read what appeared to be Jane Eyre.
His hand stopped when he noticed you looking at him.
"How long was I out?" You asked pretending not to notice that his hand was still on your back.
He looked down at you with a grin, "About an hour."
You sat up and stretched, letting his hand fall from your body.
"How's your head?" you asked, sitting up to get a good look at him. He had dark circles underneath his eyes but other than that he seemed to be fine despite his injury.
He shrugged, running a hand through his hair, briefly touching the bump on his head. "It'll take more than a little head injury to take me down."
"How could I forget," you said poking him in his ribs, "you're invincible Mr. Bodyguard."
"Well, I wouldn't say that." He smiled.
"Are my parents home yet?" You asked, reaching for your phone to check the time.
It was only half past five. They were probably getting ready to make Christmas Eve Dinner.
He nodded. "Yeah. They got here about thirty minutes ago."
You hummed, glancing around the room. You really didn't want to get out of bed yet.
"Do you think my parents will get mad if we skip dinner…" you groaned, leaning back onto your pillow with your arms crossed against your chest.
Jason laughed. "I don't think they're going to enjoy being left alone with your sister and her fiancé," he answered.
You sighed again. "I wouldn't want to subject them to that kind of torture…" you mumbled.
"Speaking of your sisters' fiancé…" He replied, bumping his shoulder against yours. "Do you want to tell me what happened before I came downstairs this morning?"
You hesitated. "What do you mean?"
The smirk on his face told you everything you needed to know. "Don't act like you don't know."
You sighed again. "It was just an argument."
"About?"
"My ex and his…" you replied quietly. "Well just him being a creep."
"We already knew that though." He raised an eyebrow in curiosity. "What'd he say?"
Your lips twisted into a frown. "If I tell you then you'll have to tell me what your panic attack earlier was about."
You knew it was a low blow as that was his business, but two could play at this game. You had no intention of pushing the issue but if he happened to take the deal then it wouldn't matter because, in some twisted way, it was his decision to spill.
Jason considered it for a minute. "Deal," he said finally.
You took a deep breath.
"He's keeping tabs on me." You admitted thinking back to this morning. "My sister's fiancé is his little spy."
"That son of a bitch." His voice was quiet.
"And he-" Your voice broke off into silence. How could you tell him your ex had a target on his back? "He is keeping tabs on you as well. I'm so sorry-"
He cut you off. "Don't apologize, love," he said, taking your hands in his. "None of this is your fault. He's just some dumb prick with a stalking problem."
"But-"
He shook his head. "He can't touch me if that's what you're worried about."
"But-"
He shook his head again. "He doesn't scare me." There was a hint of anger in his tone. "I've dealt with worse than him."
You looked at his face and wondered how many times as a bodyguard he had gotten physical with his client's angry partners.
Still, his confidence gave you some hope.
"Okay, so what about you?" you asked tentatively, not wanting to push him too hard because it was his medical history after all.
He frowned. "It's a difficult story to tell so I'll just let you know the basics."
He paused and took a breath before continuing.
"Before Bruce took me in I was just some kid on the street looking for my next meal," he let out a small laugh, "I was in the wheels business as the kids like to call it."
You raised an eyebrow. "What?"
"A lot of kids try to steal tires off of any new cars in the area to earn a little bit of cash." He continued. "It wasn't much money but it helped when you had gone days without food."
Your stomach sank, you couldn't imagine a young starving Jason roaming the streets.
"I worked one job that looking at it now was just the pure spite of an eleven-year-old," he laughed, "oh man you should have seen the look on Batman's face when he realized a kid had stolen a tire off of the Batmobile."
You let out a shocked laugh. "No, you didn't!"
"Oh yeah," he snorted. "Even Bruce to this day swears Batman told him to keep his cars far away from me."
You smiled. "So I take it Batman left you in the care of Bruce?"
He smiled sadly. "Yeah. Can't say it was the best decision but it was nice to have a place to stay and a family to hang out with."
He paused again. "Four years after that night I had gotten in a pretty bad accident."
You gave him a sympathetic look. You hated it when kids got hurt, you had seen your fair share of injuries in the past few years from kids living in Gotham.
"Anyway, I had snuck out of the manor one night to go in search of my birth mom. It was a mistake. Turns out she wasn't who I thought she was and a gang of thugs picked me up."
Jason glanced over to you as you let out a gasp. "They beat the shit out of me and left me outside until Bruce tracked me down."
You reached for his hand, hoping to offer some comfort.
He squeezed your hand gently. "The doctors said that I had a pretty bad head injury and we found out that I would experience some pretty bad panic attacks as a result."
You nodded. "So earlier… when you hit your head you were sent back to that night?"
"Pretty much," he nodded. "But I've been able to snap out of it pretty fast."
"Oh Jason I'm so sorry," you didn't know what else to say.
"Don't worry about it, love." He said with a shrug. "So what does your family usually do for Christmas Eve?"
You smiled slightly. "My mom is more than likely making a feast downstairs as we speak."
"Sounds amazing." He grinned gently patting his stomach. "I'm starving."
You felt guilty that you forgot to ask him if he was hungry earlier and you knew he was too nice to go wandering around the house looking for a snack.
"There's also going to be a gift exchange after dinner," you sighed thinking back to how you didn't get Jason anything, "it's sort of a tradition for couples to get each other something. I can't believe I forgot all about it."
"Don't worry." He said as he got up from the bed to walk towards his suitcase. "I picked myself out a little present on your behalf."
You smiled. "Thanks."
You watched as he pulled out a small gift with parchment paper wrapping. As he walked back across the room he handed you the package which you noticed was in the shape of a book. He leaned against the edge of the bed watching as you carefully removed the tape to see what was inside.
Your eyes widened as you looked down at what you'd opened in confusion. "You got yourself a book?"
"Not exactly."
You hummed softly as you examined the cover of the novel. You then realized it wasn't a novel at all but a leather journal.
"Wow," you breathed softly. "Jason this is stunning. Do you like to write?"
He smiled. "I consider myself to be an aspiring artist of sorts."
You turned to look at him. "Really?"
He nodded. "I use them to write and draw whatever comes to me at a certain moment."
"Then this is the perfect gift," you smiled brightly. "I can't believe I got this for you. I must be some amazing girlfriend."
He chuckled. "It's almost like I picked it out myself."
You furrowed your eyebrows. "Wait then what did you get me?"
He shrugged. "You'll just have to wait and see."
"Jason!" you whined.
"Sorry sweetheart but you'll just have to wait and see tonight."
You rolled your eyes as you turned back to the journal and started wrapping it up again. You couldn't help but feel curious as to what the mysterious gift Jason had got for you. I mean he didn't really know you so it had to be a gift card or maybe a gift basket of lotion that everyone seemed to get around the holidays.
As you finished wrapping the package you handed it back to Jason who placed it back on the bed.
"Do you think we should go downstairs?" you asked.
"I think that depends," he said with a smirk.
"On what?"
"Are you ready to go downstairs?" He pressed.
You hesitated. "If we have to."
Jason nodded as you stood up from bed grabbing the present to bring it downstairs to put under the tree. He followed suit and grabbed another smaller present from his bag. Before you could snoop any further he placed it in his pocket and headed towards the stairs.
You followed close behind with a smile on your face as your realized both of you were in your pajamas.
You made it downstairs and to the kitchen where your mom had just finished setting the table. She turned to look at the two of you curiously.
"Don't you two look cute!” She said excitedly. "And please go put those presents in the living room."
The both of you put your presents under the tree before taking your seats at the table. You noticed he didn't mention his injury so you decided to leave it alone. Your parents had been too busy at the time to notice why you left in a hurry.
You watched as your other family members quickly made it to the table ready to eat. Your mom had taken it upon herself to sit next to Jason which was a blessing in disguise and your dad took the seat across from her, your sister and her fiancé following suit so that your sister sat in front of you and her fiancé in front of Jason.
There was a quick glare sent from Jason to your future brother-in-law but you ignored it. Jason could scare him all he wanted and you were happy to let him.
Surprisingly enough it was quite a nice family meal even if your sister kept glancing at you and Jason with a smirk. You tried your best not to notice that she kept staring as Jason was talking and taking note of every time he nudged your knee under the table. It didn't take long for her to get caught when your mother commented on her plate still being very full despite having sat at the table for the past hour.
After the dinner was over you helped your dad clear the dishes from the table as your mom announced she would be starting a fire in the living room to help keep the house warm.
When the fire was lit and the table was clear Jason came up behind you and whispered into your ear. "Do you want to sit on my lap?"
You blushed lightly before nodding slowly, giving yourself a second to prepare for the PDA you were about to show in front of your family. As you both sat down on the couch he wrapped his arms around your waist pulling you to his chest. You leaned back into him resting your head on his shoulder.
As the two of you continued to cuddle together your mom announced that she would play Santa and went to grab the gifts everyone had placed under the tree. You raised your brow questioningly at your sister as you noticed she and her fiancé didn't have any gifts for each other.
She just smiled back in return.
You looked between them and frowned knowing whatever they had planned couldn't be good.
You felt a small chuckle behind you and glanced at Jason who was smiling. He leaned forward and gave you a quick kiss on the cheek.
"That can't be good."
Before your could answer your mother handed you the small box Jason had gotten you and the parchment-wrapped gift he had gotten for himself.
You glanced from the box to your mother who was now seated on the couch next to your dad.
She nodded towards your dad as he held a small box in his hands.
"You can go first, honey."
He slowly unwrapped the gift from your mom only to reveal a new mug for your dad to add to his collection. Your mom then in turn opened her gift from your dad to reveal a lovely crochet scarf. Once they shared a brief kiss which you had to admit was cute they gestured towards you to open your gifts.
"Open mine first Jason."
He smirked before opening the gift. He gasped slightly to add some dramatic flare and pulled out the journal he had secretly picked out for himself.
You couldn't help but laugh as he flipped through the pages pointing out to your mom all the specific details that went into its design. After he gave you a small kiss on your nose he nodded toward his gift sitting in your lap.
You opened it slowly trying not to seem too eager in figuring out what he had picked out before he met you.
Once you saw what was inside your eyes found his.
"Jason?"
"Yes sweetheart?" He said leaning back against the couch.
You shook your head and laughed softly. You couldn't believe what you were looking at. Inside the small box was the prettiest necklace you had ever seen. It was a small thin gold chain with a beautiful pearl resting in the middle. It had to have cost a small fortune and the craftmanship alone was breathtaking.
He smiled softly at you. "Do you want me to put it on you?"
"Yeah," you said breathlessly, still trying to find the words to express your gratitude.
Lifting your hair you allowed Jason to slip the necklace over your neck. You felt your heart pounding as the necklace rested perfectly against your throat. The feeling of something so extravagant around your neck was overwhelming, to say the least.
Once it was clasped you turned to face him.
"Thank you," you said softly.
He simply nodded in response before placing a small peck on your lips. You both turned to your family and took in their lovely expressions.
Your mom looked at Jason with so much love in her eyes you almost came close to coming clean about the whole situation.
"Jason it's beautiful," she breathed happily. "My daughter is so lucky to have someone like you in her life."
You found yourself agreeing with the statement as you leaned back against his chest. You smiled as he wrapped his arm around your waist and placed a small kiss on the top of your head.
"Ok our turn," you heard your sister say as she reached for the envelope you had seen earlier. She handed it to your parents before reaching for her fiancé's hand. "It's from the both of us!"
Your parents shared a look while reading the contents before turning back to your sister.
"Are you serious?"
"Yes!" She answered enthusiastically.
They shared a smile before handing the envelope back to them.
"What is it?" You said, annoyed that they had yet to announce what was going on.
Your sister grinned at you and you could've sworn her fiancé smirked at Jason.
"We're getting married tomorrow!"
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tag list:
@theautisticduck @igotanidea @princessbl0ss0m @parkjammys @escapism-r-us @awolfofartemis @drwmatic @letmebebatmanpls
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Love Me or Just Let Me Go
A Jonathan Crane Love Story
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Look who's back and trying to find her footing again 🙃 sorry for the delay, but between my mental health and personal life, things weren't going well and I needed a break. ANYWAY, I'm back with a new series (as well as ready off a few others), and I hope you all enjoy it! I really missed posting.
Just in time for Halloween, Dr. Jonathan Crane. I just figured (as I start to branch out) it's time to write about my favorite Scarecrow. I'm sorry this is so damn long (I really am), but I hope you all enjoy it! Since Tumblr is still on its bullshit, I can only post part of it here, but the full post will be on AO3 (I'll leave the link). As always, thank you @fuckingbye for the amazing moodboard. I love you!
Word Count: 56,703 (I said I was sorry)
Warnings: SMUT (Minors DNI), Swearing, Drinking, Degrading Kink, Car Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Smoking, Arguing, Family Drama, Angst, Mentions of Abuse, Fluff (ish), Childhood Trauma, Self Hate, Revenge, Loneliness, Trust Issues, Mental Health (or lack thereof)...I think I handled everything?
Song(s) That Inspired This Chapter: Man, You Make It Easy For Me. So, Why Can't I Make You Love Me?
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I do not give permission/consent for my works/stories to be posted elsewhere. I do not condone this kind of behavior or relationship, this is for entertainment purposes only.
~~
“Doctor Crane,” you smile sweetly as your favorite patron makes his way to the counter.
Your smile may be sweet, but you know your eyes show the same thing they always do whenever he shows up: pure desire and lust. The coy smile he always returns lets you know that he’s very well aware of the effect he has on you.
Effect.
“Same as always?”
“Coffee, black, please,” he smiles as he pulls out his wallet.
“New admittance at Arkham?” you ask, turning and starting on his second usual
At least three times a month, he orders a black coffee.
“No, but it is late night for work.”
“When isn’t it in Gotham?” you scoff, placing the lid on his drink.
“How about you?” he asks, handing you a twenty.
“What about me?”
“Another late night?”
“I’m the only one brave enough to close the store, so yeah. I always have a late night,” you laugh softly, taking his money while typing the amount into the register.
“Gotham doesn’t scare you?”
“Well, I’m sure you’ve met my Mother already, and I witnessed what drove her to madness, because I saw my Father’s death, so no. Gotham doesn’t scare me.”
“Your Mother...” he trails off as he looks you over, “Y/M/N?”
“I’m surprised you’re just figuring it out,” you laugh handing him back his change. “Everyone always said I look just like her, but I’m guessing the piercings, dyed hair, and tattoos have changed my appearance a bit.”
“Your Mother is quite the character.”
“You’re putting it nicely.”
“Keep it,” he says, gently pushing your hand back.
“The coffee was only two dollars.”
“Your company is always worth much more than that,” he laughs. “If you don’t mind me asking, how were you able to handle it so well?”
“If I tell you that, there will be no reason for you to come around for your afternoon tea, will there? Besides, you’ve got a late night of work ahead of you, and I’ve got ungrateful customers to tend to,” you smirk, cocking an eyebrow.
“Guess I’ll just have to ask again tomorrow.”
“Play your cards right and you may just get an answer,” you shrug and he laughs.
“You have a good night, Y/N.”
“You too, Dr. Crane.”
“Jonathan.”
“Jonathan Crane,” you smile as he grabs his coffee, nods, and walks away.
And just like that, he was gone. It’s the same conversation every day, today a little more telling just because he knows a bit (or a lot depending on how you look at it) about you. It’s always the same amount of small talk, flirty eye on your part, and him looking as if he’s interested but knows better. Smart on his part.
Sure, he deals with crazies, but he’s never dealt with you.
For the rest of the evening, you live in the feeling of that little exchange. Yeah, the man looks like he can’t carry a bookcase, but you know it’s all an act. You’re not dumb. You’ve heard whispers about Dr. Jonathan Crane, and most of it isn’t pleasant. It’s most definitely in your best interest to stay away, especially considering that your Mother is a patience at his place of work, but you can’t stop yourself. Beside, you live in Gotham.
It’s not like you have a ton of “good guys” to choose from.
You can’t pin down exactly what draws you to him, but you know that you can’t turn it off. You’ve tried multiple times. From the first time you laid eyes on him, you wanted him. No, you needed him, in the most unnatural way. Maybe it’s from living in Gotham all your life but, for whatever reason, you feel a sense of security when he comes in.
Yeah, you’ve definitely been in Gotham for too long.
“You’re sure you’re okay to close up all by yourself?” your co-worker Michael asks as he grabs his backpack off of the coat rack, while the last customer scurries out.
“I do it every night, Mike,” you scoff, wiping down the counter. “Get home safe.”
“Ya know, working with you is hard,” he sighs and you start laughing. “What?! It’s true! You’re the only one ever willing to close up shop-”
“It gives me a thrill,” you smirk with a cocked eyebrow. “Go home and tell Josh that you fought off a mugger, if it’ll help your ego.”
“He’d kill me if I ever tried to stop crime from happening,” he laughs softly. “You sure you’re okay, babe?”
“I promise. Get home safe.”
“You too,” he nods before walking out.
You lean against the counter, pull out your phone, and scroll through all the evening news you’ve missed.
Another raping, another stabbing, another kidnapping....it’s all just another day in Gotham. You don’t even bother to look up when you hear the front door open and close.
“If you want coffee, you’ve come to the right place. If you want anything else, I’m afraid you’re in the wrong damn shop,” you mumble as an article about Arkham Asylum catches your eye.
You may not see your Mother often, but that doesn’t mean you don’t care about her.
“How about a cup of tea?” a familiar voice asks.
You look up to see Dr. Jonathan Crane standing at the counter, small smile tugging on his lips, but his hair is out of place.
“Rough night, Doc?” you question, pushing yourself up with your foot, making your way over to the kettle and setting it up.
“What makes you say that?”
“Your hair is out of place and there’s a bit of blood on your glasses, and the lapel of your shirt.”
“You’re more observant than I thought.”
“You’ve thought about me?” you tease, pulling out his his favorite tea powder.
Ginseng.
“More than you think.”
“And why is that?”
“Because you’re a mystery.”
“I’m sure you’ve met far more interesting subjects than me. You’ve already met my Mother.”
“While she is very much a fun case to study, now that I know she’s your Mother, you’re much more...complex.”
“I’ll choose to take that as a compliment,” you laugh, finishing up his drink before pouring it in a to-go cup. “That’s the nicest way I’ve ever been called insane.”
“Far from insane, Y/N. Very far. More like-”
“Troubled?”
“Not that either...a to-go cup?”
“You’ve never been one to sit and stay since you started working at the Asylum.”
“A good point. What else do you know about me?”
“Nothing.”
“What else have you heard about me?”
“Things I’m sure you don’t wanna hear about,” you promise, looking him over as you lean against the counter. “No charge. You get home safe.”
“You see blood on my glasses and my shirt, but tell me to get home safe?”
“Who am I to judge?”
“You know, this day has been very telling about you but, at the same time, I feel like I know you less than I did before.”
“If I’m not keepin’ ya guessing, what’s the point of our lovely little chats?”
“Who says that I need these little moments to keep me interested?”
“Show me that you don’t.”
“Have a drink with me and I will,” he smiles coyly, mischief in his eyes.
Every red alarm in your brain goes off, but you’ve never bothered to listen to them before, so why start now?
You poured yourself a cup of coffee and slowly made your way from around the counter, ignoring the the sirens as they grow louder and louder, and sit across from him at the small table.
“Jonathan,” you smile, mischief dancing around in your own eyes as you take a sip of your coffee. “Take your best shot.”
“What do you fear?” he asks with a cocked eyebrow and you scoff. “What?”
“What do you think I fear?”
“I can’t get a read on you.”
“That’s fair, I guess,” you shrug, swirling the coffee in your cup around a bit. “I’ll tell you what I fear if you tell me something about you. I’ll know if you’re lying, so don’t try it,” you proposition, meeting his gaze with a devilish glint in your eye.
You really shouldn’t be playing this game.
An evil smirk spreads across his face before he responds with, “I’m the one who created the fear toxin.”
‘Will you stop fucking playing this game?! Tell him you need to get home!’ your brain begs, but you’re just starting to have fun.
You’ve never been good at doing what’s in your best interest.
“That tracks,” you shrug before taking a sip of your coffee.
“It tracks?”
“You work at the Asylum, no one in this city really has a good and clean record-”
“Oh? What’s on your record?”
“I put laxatives in drinks of customers who piss me off,” you tell him nonchalantly and laugh and when he practically chokes on his tea. “What? I don’t seem capable?”
“For some reason, I thought it would be something along the lines of murder.”
“No, I’m afraid the only thing I’ve ever really broken is hearts.”
“Why’s that?”
“I learned very early in life to never get too attached to anyone in Gotham. Never works out well for me.”
“Your parents?”
“Parents, first real love, last serious relationship. I fuck until I’m bored and then I leave.”
There’s a flicker of something in his eyes, but you can’t tell what it is. It’s not disdain or disappointment, but more along the lines of...shock? Confusion.
“So, you have fear of abandonment?” he asks as your timer goes off.
“Well, it’s time for me to close up shop, Dr. Crane,” you smile, getting up making your way back behind the counter with your half full cup of coffee.
“I didn’t take you as someone who’s a liar,” he comments and you don’t miss the irritation in his tone.
“I never said I wouldn’t tell you, I said it’s time for me to close up shop. However, I do like having this effect on you.”
“And what effect is that?”
“Rattling your cage.”
“Oh, you do much more than that, and I think you’ve known that for quite some time.”
“Oh, but Doctor Crane, this is the first time you’ve ever had the balls to court me,” you smirk over your shoulder and he laughs.
“How long does it usually take you to close up shop?”
“As long as I want it to. Why do you ask?”
“Do you have any plans tonight?”
“Do you want me to?”
“I figured we could...take a walk around the city.”
“You’re a very confident man, Dr. Crane.”
“No one’s gonna touch me out there.”
“And what on earth would we talk about on this little walk?”
“You.”
“Your obsession with me is cute. I like it a lot.”
“I wouldn’t say it’s an obsession, more like...fascination.”
“And what’s so fascinating about little old me?” you ask, covering the tops of all the different syrups.
“Like I said,” he responds softly right behind you, causing you to jump, “because you’re a mystery.”
Oh, you’re fucking in it now.
~~
You can read the full story here
~~
tags: @autumnrose40
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KLARYAN KRISNIX PARALLELS PLEASEEEEE I HAVE SO SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT IT TOO BUT I CANT ARTICULATE THEM QUITE RIGHT PLEASE ADD YOUR VOICE TO MY INTERNAL BRAINROT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
@vexx-ation you also asked so here we go. (As have a few anons sorry this is long and it's taking a while to write everything down)
So my Klaryan take is kinda a mega theory that takes a lot of mini theories into consideration so here it is. This will be long. This will be unhinged. This is my Pepe silvia
Tw for discussions of substance abuse and abusive relationships
1) AA4 parallel foils
Ok so this is semi common knowledge. Every character in AA4 is ment to be a direct foil to a character in aa1. This is well documented and also applies to a lot of the witnesses too. Apollo is a foil for Phoenix, Ema is a foil for Gumshoe, Trucy is a foil for Maya, Klavier is a foil for Edgeworth. This goes on for almost every charcater in the game.
But here's the thing. The trilogy already has foils already. So some of these charcaters end up being massive parallels to eachother. A non relevent example I think about daily is that Trucy and Franziska are very similar but where this is relevant is Klapollo and Narumitsu. I have a post explaining this I'm more detail but basically while far from identical there are a lot of perhaps unintentional but at minimum unexplored parallels between Phoenix and Klavier and Apollo and Edgeworth. This is important.
2) Krisnix as an allegory for substance abuse
So first of my opinion of this doesn't really influence my take on grape juice but it's pretty undeniable that even if you don't think Beanix has addiction issues, hes almost coded to. There's the comment about Ema and the white powder and then the extent to which he's always surrounded by grape juice which at minimum looks like wine. In universe it's easy to see this as a part of his mask and that is my in universe take, he's trying to look in a bad way to hide how he's actually doing.
But I think we can take this further. Miles and Kristoph are superficially very very similar characters however underneath are deeply different and as such have a very different effect on Phoenix's mental state. Miles is absent during the 7yg at his request. And there's a miles shaped hole left in his life that he wants to fill with something that is superficially the same but is in it's effects very different and very bad for him.
Anyone who has dealt with addiction will likely recognise that pattern.
3) Klavier is on some level (whether he's in denial about it or not) aware that Kristoph is in some way dangerous or abusive and was running from him with the band
This is mostly just my take on how he acts in sucession and another very good post that I'll have to find that talks about how similar him joining the band was to the things the other people involved with the Gramarye trial did to try and evade Kristoph.
4) Phoenixs biggest flaw and how Kristoph tests it
So I basically never shut up about this in some places but might not have talked about it here so the tldr of this is that Phoenixs biggest flaw is that he is constantly trying to see the best in people. The final test of this is not breaking the black psyche locks and accepting that just because he's a human being with complexity, doesn't mean his actions are excused or that Phoenix has to forgive or protect him.
So this is where we can start bringing it together a bit.
Klavier and Phoenix are both very similar characters and both victims of Kristophs abuse. Phoenix has a relationship that exemplifies his harmful behaviour after the trial, it's pretty interesting to explore the same thing happening to Klavier.
Especially when we start to compare Daryan to Kristoph and find that they're superficially very different even if both of them turned out to be murders. Kristoph is reserved, Daryan is brash. Kristoph is classy, Daryan is flashy. Kristoph is well spoken and poetic, Daryan is straightforward. You get the idea.
And isn't that fucking fascinating? That Klavier ran to someone who was the complete opposite of his brother but ended up being just as dangerous? And also is it not really interesting that as Phoenix has to learn to accept Kristoph's humanity doesn't excuse his actions. If we take Klavier running to Daryan in this way to be him refusing to acknowledge the human side of his brother, that but running to the superficial opposite and not recognising what truly did make Kristoph dangerous, he fell into the arms of a murder.
And of course, the person he then falls for, is someone who is Apollo. Who is genuinely a good person but was Kristophs mentor and is very similar to him in a number of superficial ways. He has to stop running from his trauma and confront it head on.
Basically this interpreation means the klaryan/ Klapollo and Narumitsu/Krisnix love triangles function as basically a microcosm for how these two handle their trauma and how they have to over come it and each is a direct mirror of the other.
My take on Daryan
Ok people might have seen me joke that he's straight. Here's the thing. I think he definitely has been sleeping with Klavier. They are in some kind of relationship. Buuuuut, I do not think the feelings he has about the relationship are ever well traditionally romantic or sexual. I think it's driven from his side primarily by envy and rage that Klavier gets the spotlight more than him. He can never upstage Klavier on stage, but he can posses him. He can make him feel like shit as revenge.
My General Klayran timeline
They start whatever their weird thing is during the 7yg.
After 4-1 Klavier spirals a lot and it puts intense strain on their relationship because Daryan does not care about this bitch and does not want to support him
4-2 Klavier meets Apollo, sees him in court and kinda starts to develop a big old crush. He realises that Daryan is making him miserable and breaks it off after the case
4-3 newly broken up and it's taking its toll. Then we'll 4-3 happens and that's the end of them.
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Jungkook’s likes and dislikes of his future partner ?
i don't really feel comfortable looking into his dislikes about them, but thought i'd look into some potential green and red flags in their relationship. haven't read for them in months.
jungkook's future relationship - green + red flags
based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!
queofw, kingofw&queofsw, knofc, fool&moon
+ an incredibly well balanced relationship. they will complete and compliment each other beautifully, also bond over their similarities. especially when it comes to their ambitions, their fiery and creative sides. jungkook will gain a lot of confidence from his fs' existence and vice versa. i can see him feeling very inspired by his fs' existence creatively. maybe expect some love songs in the future.. he'll be good at writing about his love for them, i think. also his fs in particular, will benefit a lot from jungkook's warmth and vibrance. they might've been through a fair share of disappointment already, which turned them a little closed off at first. jk will be very good at breaking down those walls and opening up their heart, gaining their trust.
they will also just be very lovey dovey and cute with each other, a lot of romance. kinda like this long-lasting couple that everyone is jealous of, since everyday they seem to be just as in love with each other as when they first met. the romantic air will not die down for years it seems.. jungkook is a libra venus, so he'll probably find a lot of fulfilment in sweeping his fs off their feet. i can see him putting a lot of effort into planning the most beautiful dates.
there will also once again, be a great balance between lighthearted and carefree times, but also moments where they'll engage in deeper conversations. they'll truly enjoy each others company and have a lot of fun together, but connect to each other beyond the surface, on an emotional level as well. take away each others fears, light the way in times of darkness. the fact i only got court cards and major arcana really gives me this impression that their relationship will be extremely important for the both of them, it will definitely play a big role in their lives. they'll have a meaningful and longlasting impact on each other.
aceofsw, 7ofc, 9ofw&6ofc, 8ofw&magic
- the main problem i see here, is jungkook's fs struggling to deal with his incredible amount of fame. their partner being in the public eye and having so much going on, will overwhelm them for sure. as i stated before, his fs seems to have dealt with some past bad experiences already, which might've caused them some trust issues. a lot of overthinking. "i trust you, but i'm worried i'll get hurt again." is what i keep hearing. tbh, i do not see jungkook engaging in any infidelity. i actually see him remaining pretty loyal, his fs will just be in their head a lot. they're aware he's a very charismatic guy many people swoon over, so there's this sense of insecurity und worry when he's away. they basically don't like the thought of people looking at him a little too much, if that makes sense lol? maybe some of you know that feeling, i definitely do. "that girl smiled at you for a little too long, don't ya think?" kinda vibes lmao, or they'll feel all weird over jungkook just being his usual charming self with others, maybe confront him over it. they probably have some possessive tendencies and need to work on their ability to fully trust.
btw, i see this pattern for a lot of bangtan's future spouses, which is interesting. it seems they're aware of the set of unique difficulties dating a member comes with. many of them are worried over the members getting seduced by the fame and popularity, which is kinda inevitable with a bg as big as bts, i guess. however so far, most of them seem keen on staying faithful once they settle down 👏🏻
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Am I the asshole for joking about offering to kill our mother in the sibling group chat?
So me (22, FtM), my sister L (21, F), and my two brothers E and H (19, FtM and 15, M) have a sibling group chat on instagram to keep up with each other, mainly to keep up with me because I'm living states away from them while they still live back in my homestate and are relatively close to each other still, living situation wise.
A few days back, H messaged the group chat about some Bullshit that our mother has been up to.
For context, H has medicine he takes that he needs or he'll be severely lethargic and in pain at best and probably close to death--if not dead--at worst. He's been dealing with this ailment since he was about 4 or 5 and while he's gotten better in recent years thanks to infusions, he obviously still needs the medications he takes now to keep him stable.
And for some reason our mother, who has put us through several years of physical, mental, emotional, and psychological abuse, not to mention denied that H had anything wrong with him when he developed his ailment (so add medical neglect to the long list of fucked up things she's done), is the ONLY one who knows how to order H's medication, down to prescription and where to order it from.
And those few days back, H messaged the sibling group chat to tell us that our mother has essentially been holding his medication hostage as leverage to still be able to keep contact with him, because pretty much everybody on her side of the family has gone little to no contact with her after the bullshit she's been making everyone put up with for nearly two decades now.
E was getting right to fixing the problem, asking H for our mother's contact so he can get the info about H's medication so E can relay to H as well as our grandma, who has custody over H.
I was busy at the time and had my phone on silent (and oddly enough Instagram doesn't like to give me notifications anyway when it comes to DMs and group chat messages) so when I had the chance to catch up on chat I was very rightfully pissed, but didn't want to go all out rant mode in the chat when my brothers were already getting it dealt with and probably stressed and pissed too.
So to lighten the mood after reading and catching up in chat I send a message saying "do you want me to kill her for you" as a sorta dark humor kind of way to show I'm there for them as much as I can be being as physically distant as I am.
H says 'No', and E starts playing into the joke too. And up until this point, L had been quiet too. Until the me making a joke about offing our horribly abusive mother was a step too far apparently, and she sent a message saying "Bye, guys" before leaving group chat.
For additional context, L was the golden child out of the four of us. At least for our mother. She's dealt with her own issues of abuse too from our mother, but has certainly gotten the better end of the deal and was treated significantly better than the rest of us for all of our childhood. So despite everything, we all suspect on some level that L still has some sort of spot for our mother.
E had to reinvite L to the chat and explain to her that, in these words exactly:
E: "No one was serious [L], no one actually wants to kill [Mother]"
E: "You have a bunch of siblings who are hurt over [Mother] being a horrible mother, sometimes shit gets said"
The chat's been quiet for a good few days ever since and, I dunno, it's all left a bitter taste in my mouth since it happened. Am I the asshole here, since I kinda caused her dipping from the group chat in the first place because of it?
What are these acronyms?
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Leaving Kindergarten Mafia
There have already been a few posts floating around about the Discord server implosion of Kindergarten Mafia. They do a great job of outlining the events that happened, with documentation, directly from the folks who were harmed by the server owner (Hann) and mods that helped enable their racism. (Snake and Mouse, Jinx1, Jinx2, mousydentist, Faye, among others.)
So I'm not going to do that.
These are my own thoughts on the specific racism and tenets of white supremacy that I observed in the server as well as a general commentary on joining fandom spaces.
Rarely do I emphasize my age but it's relevant so here we are : I am 35 years old this year and Kindergarten Mafia was part of my first baby steps into any fandom. Ironically, my hesitation to join fandom ended up being proven because I had heard, for a very long time, that fandom spaces were dominated by racism and a failure to acknowledge POC fans. For a long time, I was complacent and felt "safe" in that server of 300+ folks.
Until one Native member spoke up about the usage of "spirit animal" as appropriative and the cracks in the foundations began to show themselves to everyone and not just the people with marginalized identities.
I had already started to feel uncomfortable in how the server dealt with ableism. There was also a member who I've previously called out on Tumblr, for usage of the m*dget slur in their story, and who became extremely vocal recently. (Spoiler alert - they wrote an entire essay excusing their usage of it, multiple times in the fic, because they couldn't be creative or bothered enough to come up with an alternative for a "short person".)
Without further ado, let's get into it. These are all from the link above, "tenets of white supremacy in organizations" (and yes, a Discord server of 300+ people absolutely DOES count as an organization).
1. Sense of Urgency, such as prioritizing quick or highly visible results that can exclude potential allies.
-> In the server, both server owner and problematic mods continued to emphasize that their "missteps" (i.e. racism) was due to needing to seek a solution ASAP for the good of the server.
2. Worshipping the Written Word, such as valuing strong documentation and writing skills.
-> Rebuttals to POC/marginalized folks were constantly full of dictionary definitions, copied over.
3. Believing in Only One Right Way, such as concluding something is wrong with people who refuse to adapt or change.
-> POC members and allies were banned when anger was expressed because OUR anger suddenly made it an "unsafe" space for the server owner and problematic mods.
4. Paternalism, such as decision-making processes that are only understood by those with power and unclear to those without it.
-> Despite multiple server users disagreeing with the server owner's tactics (including the co-owner, who stepped down), Hann continued to defend + make decisions.
5. Defensiveness, such as spending energy trying to protect power or defend against charges of racism.
-> There's too many examples to cite here. But in the end, it was claimed that the initial problem was solved. And then the problem mod was invited back. With additional defense of why.
6. Power Hoarding, such as feeling threatened when anyone suggests organizational changes.
-> Instead of wanting to listen to marginalized identities, the server was threatened with a shut-down. Multiple people stepped up to take over as server owner. But power hoarding was more important so not only was the server shut down... it was resurrected from the dead to include their favorite (white) people. This leads us to...
7. Believing I’m the Only One, such as thinking that if something is going to get done right, then ‘I’ have to do it.
8. Fear of Open Conflict, such as equating the raising of difficult issues with being rude or impolite.
-> The initial issue around the problematic phrase was ridiculously hush hush. POC members were banned for their (rightfully so) angry remarks.
9. Believing in Objectivity, such as considering emotions to be irrational and destructive to decision-making.
-> Not just the server owner but the people who rushed to defend them and the problematic mods, claimed to be impartial and objective, based on their queer identities or other things. As humans, none of us can actually be objective and all of us are a little racist because racism is a systemic problem that we were raised under.
10. Claiming a Right to Comfort, such as scapegoating those who cause emotional or psychological discomfort.
-> In the end, it was clear that only whiteness was valued when POC folks + allies were banned or made to feel uncomfortable enough to leave (such as myself).
I know I've only posted my thoughts/feelings vs documentation (which, you shouldn't always demand because see above for "worshipping the written word") but if this screenshot of the new rules for the new server doesn't convince you that something (racism/cult-ism) is wrong with these folks... I don't know what will.
TL;DR - Ownership and modding of a large Discord server doesn't make you a god. You are, unfortunately, still a puny mortal with the biases that come along with being as such. I'm sure it was a fun power trip for those involved but I am happy to expose the rotting underbelly in a way that I see fit.
In conclusion, I leave you with further reading that will help decolonize your mindset and has done a much better job at showing that the problems with the Kindergarten Mafia are not unique (as they claimed). It is one that those of us with marginalized identities face constantly and we are fucking tired of running into this and being treated in a way that emphasizes the problem with our existence in real life. Intersectionality and decolonization is what will actually liberate us, and without both, online spaces are simply the same reflections of real life.
At the very least, I hope it gives some of you food for thought.
(I will also post my Scathing Letter™ that was my last message in the server as a separate post because I am wordy AF and this is already too long.)
[1/26/2024 update] Now with part 2 because apparently I had more things to say.
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