#there are some REALLY excellent grief studies of her but i want to write my own

[arithmonym]

every time i think about camilla being nonverbal for four weeks after palamedes dies, i want to curl up into a little ball and scream

[thisbuildinghasfeelings]

It's been a tough year in a lot of ways, but one thing I've been able to consistently count on to bring me joy is the incredible writing in this fandom! I feel like 2023 has been almost a golden age of Tarlos fic. With both the sheer quantity AND quality of fic, it has been a wonderful time to be a Tarlos fic reader! In celebration of this golden age, I wanted to share a list of some of the fic that brought me the most joy in the past year.

Of course, this is not a comprehensive list...as much as I may want to, I can't possibly read everything this fandom has to offer. There's still a lot to get to on my to-read list. And even from the fic I did read, I'm sure I'm forgetting some amazing ones. There's just SO MUCH. But here I have listed (alphabetic by author) some of the fic that most resonated with me the past year, fic that I still think about and reread, and fic that has taken up full time residence in my brain!

There are A LOT...so I'll be putting the list under the cut.

all my blood for the sweetness of his laugh by @alrightbuckaroo

A truly beautiful little fic about Carlos' feelings about TK's laugh. A bit of angst and a lot of love.

anger has told me her real name is grief by alrightbuckaroo

An excellent 4x17/4x18 fic that deals a lot with Carlos' grief and the journey he goes through in those two episodes.

my beatin' heart belongs to you by bartsy

A fic about Carlos' anxiety after the death of his father, manifested in his fears for the safety of his husband. This fic is so beautiful and very in character. I would love it so much if the show would go even a tiny bit in the direction of exploring Carlos' anxiety!

It Beats for You by @basilsunrise

A 4x04 coda, porn with feelings and bottom Carlos...truly, what more could I ask for?? Very hot and SO MANY feelings!

she has almost killed me with love for that boy by @beautifulhigh

Another 4x04 coda (there can never be enough) that's also a study of the different types of love, all of which Carlos has in his life.

How quickly we change overnight by @birdclowns

A pre-canon fic about TK and his relationship with Alex. I particularly love this kind of thing where we have so little concrete information in canon. It's a perfect opportunity for fic, and I really love this one. Alex could easily be handled as some horrible villain, but the way he's handled here is far more realistic and I think it makes my heart break for TK even more.

Even if the World Ends Tomorrow by @bonheur-cafe

A post-apocalypse AU that's a little terrifying but ultimately very hopeful. This is one that I kept thinking about long after I read it.

can i be close to you? by @catanisspicy

A 5+1 fic about TK asking Carlos if he'd still love him if he was a worm. A true delight! This is another fic I still think about all the time.

slowly, then all at once by catanisspicy

A fic about TK and Carlos loving each other, which is one of my favorite things in the world.

The Center of the Maze by @carlos-in-glasses

7 times TK and Carlos thought they would never get married and one time they actually did. This fic covers so many of the most significant moments of their relationship and is so very beautifully written. I think my favorite part is (predictably) the section related to the soulmates scene.

When Soulmates Swim by carlos-in-glasses

A wonderful AU where TK and Carlos get to know each other while swimming together. It's everything: hot, sweet, beautiful, poignant, and sometimes incredibly hilarious.

Release the Hand to Relax the Animal by carlos-in-glasses

A fic that's all about touch and the great sex, past and present, that TK and Carlos have had. A true masterpiece.

We Have Suffered Enough by @chicgeekgirl89

A 4x16 coda. Oh, the soulmates scene! I'm automatically going to love anything even remotely soulmates scene-adjacent, and this one is particularly beautiful.

Shiner by chicgeekgirl89

A 4x15 coda dealing with Carlos finding out about TK's black eye, which is something I desperately wanted to see on screen. I love the way it goes here. It's incredibly sweet.

Cold Feet by @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut

A lovely little fic that has Carlos feeling some big feelings about his soon-to-be husband.

When I'm Like This by cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut

An early season 1 Tarlos fic with a lot of angst and feelings, which is always one of my favorite things. This one is ridiculously hot, yet also filled with so much emotion and feelings and gorgeous writing. Just thinking about it makes me want to reread!

to build a home by @freneticfloetry

A Carlos character study, from pre-series through season 4. If there was ever a character I wanted to study, it's Carlos Reyes. And this fic is beautifully done, expertly exploring the complexities of his character and the gaps canon has left to be filled.

The Sting by @goodways

Shortly after they're married, Carlos gets involved in an FBI sting operation that requires him to go on a date and flirt with another man, something that TK is not thrilled about. This fic is at times funny, emotional, hot and sweet.

First night by goodways

The first time TK and Carlos have sex and all the feelings and attempted avoidance of feelings that comes with it. So many feelings!!!

Take my hand, take my whole life, too by @heartstringsduet

HANDS. What more could I ask for? This fic is an absolutely gorgeous exploration of TK and Carlos' intimacy across their whole lives together. I'm ready to tear up just thinking about it!

But most of it was beautiful by heartstringsduet

An at-home Tarlos honeymoon fic. I call a lot of fic on this list beautiful, but sometimes there's no better word. This fic is beautiful.

broken glass by @irispurpurea

A beautiful, heartbreaking exploration of Carlos' grief. It's all fragmented and non-linear, which only adds to how moving and powerful it is.

a little bit more by krissyloowhoo

An installment of a series in which TK and Carlos adopt a baby girl. This one features Carlos in love with what a good dad TK is.

Stand your brand of love by @ladytessa74

A Tarlos honeymoon fic written prior to the end of the season. This was a go-to reread for me in the weeks leading up to the finale. Even now, when it's no longer technically canon compliant, the emotions hit just as hard.

How I linger to admire by ladytessa74

This fic is pretty much my dream season 5. It has everything: Carlos solving his father's murder, TK and Carlos getting held at gunpoint, and Lou II saving the day. Several items on my wish list for season 5 were directly inspired by reading this fic.

Do it all over again by ladytessa74

TK tries for a do over of the proposal because he thinks Carlos deserves better, which leads to a series of funny, adorable and touching moments. The writing is beautiful, and it even inspired a cross stitch! I have many favorite things about Tessa's writing, but one of my very favorite things is the way she writes the intimacy and affection and touch between TK and Carlos. This fic is filled with some of my favorite examples of that.

All Your Colors Make Me Feel Alive by @lemonlyman-dotcom

This wonderful fic uses the music of Beck to explore moments in TK and Carlos' relationship. Angst and fluff: the best combination.

I'm Not A Fortress, But I Will Try To Protect You by lemonlyman-dotcom

TK and Marjan have a conversation in the wake of the events of 2x04. One of my favorite parts of Lemon's writing is the incredible amount of backstory detail, most particularly the friendship between TK and Marjan. There are hints of this in canon, but here it's beautifully developed and I love it so much.

Call Me If You Get Lost by lemonlyman-dotcom

TK and Carlos go for a romantic weekend while also looking out for a friend. This fic is a delight and so much fun!

Love From the Other Side by @lightningboltreader

Exes to lovers and only one bed...what could possibly be better?? I particularly enjoy the conversation between TK and Carlos that leads to their reconciliation.

We were in screaming color by @liminalmemories21

I was looking forward to this season 4 fic since before the season even started airing! I can imagine it must have been particularly difficult to write, from the ridiculous season 4 timeline to all the plotholes and inconsistencies that the Iris storyline and Carlos' sudden two sisters created, but it was done beautifully. It made me think about so many season 4 details and moments in different ways and ultimately led to an enhanced appreciation of the season.

I need you so much closer by @marjansmarwani

A 4x04 coda. This one focuses on all the many people who love Carlos. I always love to read about Carlos being loved!

where the empty space is a saving grace by @maxbegone

Carlos talks with Gwyn in the time before he's revived by TK and the narcan in 4x04. Beautiful and poignant.

etched in gold by maxbegone

A lovely little wedding moment where TK and Carlos get some alone time during the reception.

By Your Side by @never-blooms

The Reyes kitchen through the years. If there's anything that deserves more exploration, it's the Reyes family and all their complexities. This fic does an incredible job of this and is so beautifully written.

The Calling by @orchidscript

This is a fascinating and beautiful fic about TK using his experience with addiction to help people in the course of his job as a paramedic. It's something I would love so much for them to explore on the show!

Under A Star Spell by orchidscript

In this AU, Carlos practices folk magic. The fic itself is absolutely magical. One of the things I love about it is how different it is from pretty much every other Tarlos fic I've ever read.

Lost and Found by @paperstorm

A 4x04 coda (if there's one thing about me, it's that I love a 4x04 coda). I loved this episode so much but there was so much more I wanted, particularly to see what happened in the aftermath at the hospital, which is why this fic is so appreciated.

Ritual by paperstorm

An installment of Andie's spectacular Missing Moments series. I could easily have put every installment on this list, but I chose the one for 2x11, which is my favorite of the season 2 fics. I'm always a sucker for Carlos working through his feelings about his relationship with his parents!

The Firehouse by paperstorm

An incredible AU with TK and Carlos as childhood friends who meet again years later when Carlos is undercover and TK is living a life of crime. The angst in this one is spectacular, and the payoff is beautiful and earned and extraordinarily satisfying.

peace by @redshirt2

Carlos post-breakup. This little fic is heartbreaking and perfectly captures Carlos' desolate state of mind as he's left alone.

dream this night away by @reyesstrand

A pre-season 4 honeymoon fic where TK and Carlos end up in a motel after their flight is cancelled. A little bit of angst and a lot of love and tenderness.

to which there is no reply by reyesstrand

An absolutely gorgeous honeymoon fic, this time canon-compliant, that features Carlos struggling with his grief and being loved by his husband.

balancing act by reyesstrand

TK and Carlos sharing food and falling in love. What could possibly be better? This fic is so beautiful and it spans the entirety of their relationship. An incredible achievement and a true gift to readers!

the strong will never fall by @rmd-writes

Another 4x04 coda (I truly can never get enough). This one is incredibly tender and emotional.

shine some light on my day by @rosedavid

A sweet, fluffy, gentle fic about TK and Carlos waking up and getting ready for the day together. Domestic fluff at its finest!

and salt the earth behind you by @safeashousespdf

TK brings Carlos to New York 6 months after Gwyn's death and TK grapples with the ways things have changed and the ways he has changed. This fic is incredibly powerful. I read it months ago but I still think about it.

you and me, forevermore by @strandnreyes

A gorgeous wedding coda that made me cry multiple times.

Come what may, I'll still stay by strandnreyes

Carlos struggles with his work-life balance when he becomes a detective. It gets worse and worse until he makes a pretty big mistake that shows him just how bad things have gotten. Lots of angst, but also lots of happiness by the end and so much love permeating through every bit of it. This was one of the THE fics of the year for me and it still lives rent free in my brain!

no rules in breakable heaven by strandnreyes

An AU where Carlos takes a job as a private chef in the Hamptons for TK's family. Jen wrote so many incredible AUs this year, but this one was my favorite. Just the right amount of angst with a proportionately happy ending! And the descriptions of the food Carlos was preparing always made me very hungry.

As long as it's with you by @tailoredshirt

TK and Carlos spend their first Valentine's Day as husbands in the ER, but it's nothing too serious. This fic is mostly soft and sweet. I still think about it all the time, especially the little gestures and affectionate touches between them. It's a lovely little fic that's guaranteed to make you smile.

tell me how by @theghostofashton

Carlos and his grief leading up to the wedding. Beautiful and heartbreaking. I loved this so much.

Back to You and Me by @three-drink-amy

A lovely 4x16 coda. In celebration of finding out that TK doesn't have to worry about Huntington's, TK and Carlos go back to the honky tonk where it all began!

The Weight of Grief by @wandering-night19

This is an absolutely riveting fic that has TK near-death in a coma (again). It's poignant and heartbreaking. One scene in particular in the final chapter makes me want to cry just thinking about it! Some chapters deal with Andrea and Gabriel backstory, which eventually links up to the ongoing story in the present. The whole thing is so well written and beautifully constructed.

living at the centre of a wound still fresh by @welcometololaland

A heartbreaking, beautiful masterpiece of a fic. Carlos struggles with his grief on their honeymoon, but TK is there to help him through. Just thinking about this one makes me want to cry...and also reread!

a long time ago (we used to be friends) by welcometololaland

A masterpiece of an AU, exes to lovers with private investigator Carlos and wrongly accused of murder TK. They work together to clear TK's name and come back together in a beautiful way.

[dreadfutures]

Fan Work Friday Funday

Rules: If you’re tagged, MAKE A NEW POST to showcase ONE fanartist and/or fanfic for any fandom you recommend (with links). Then tag someone to give their recs next! Don’t forget to reblog the rec you were tagged in, and include these rules! :) If you have more than one person to highlight, consider spreading it out!

Bonus: Choose works by people you aren’t super tight with, or choose older works that maybe haven’t gotten some love in a while. :)

This summer I think I'm going to highlight my favorite writers and artists who delve into either the wider world of Thedas than just the Ferelden/Orlais we see in the games, and the writers who I believe capture Solas the best.

Today: some of the latter.

WRITER: @theharellan | @queenaeducan (AO3)

I discovered Tas's works via her Solas RP page, The Harellan, which also contains her masterful Solas meta.

Here's one of my favorite Solas think pieces: Solas Has Friends, and Some He Holds Loyalty to Before You. Oh and another: Protagonist Bias in the Red Lyrium Future

But I encourage you to check out the rest of the writing on @theharellan because in the past, Tas has answered many thought-provoking questions about Solas, both in and out of character. And man, Tas just has Solas's voice down both in RP and in writing.

Tas has written some of my favorite character studies. For example:

Fic: Remembering Well

Victory at Adamant came with a cost, and Solas does not want Varric to spend his first night in a world without Hawke in it without a friend.

This fic shows a beautiful reflection of Solas and his relationship with grief, and with the new world he's in--and his companions. It's really touching, and I remember reading it in the excellent fanzine Solamancy and being just gut-punched by it. Really beautiful prose, and firmly centered in Solas's head.

Fic: Tales of Fen'Harel

There are always two sides to every legend. A series of original legends about Fen'Harel.

Tas, in addition to thinking about Solas's worldview and conveying it clearly and thoughtfully, writes like a true storyteller. I love the legends and customs she's come up with for the elvhen over the years, and this small collection of legends demonstrates the skill she has weaving the canon lore with original headcanoned folklore.

Fic: Homecoming

Charter attends a Tevinter party, hoping to deny the Dread Wolf another ancient Elvhen artefact.

Tas is one of the first people I personally interacted with to really passionately encourage gen fic. She wrote me this fic in particular as part of an exchange, and I really treasure it. Now, it's a Charter & Lace Harding and Charter & Agents of Fen'Harel fic, sure -- but it's really, really good. And at the heart of it, the story Tas tells speaks to the true man beneath the mantle of Fen'Harel. This fic made me cry, and it still does.

And with that, I encourage you to check out the rest of Tas's works <3 They've written a lot over the years and have a trove to sift through, and I hope that as we experience more of DA4, it'll inspire more to come.

I tag forward, to recommend fics about Thedas at large or about Solas (if you're up for it - otherwise, any fics or fanart recs will be appreciated <3 )

@rosella-writes | @fadedsweater | @queenaeducan | @shift-shaping | @knightdawn

[pinespittinink]

Hi! I'm a novice writer who is looking to improve. I recently saw your post about how writers need to read published books to hone their writing skills, and I was just wondering if you had any recommendations for books/authors that are very strong in their craftsmanship to read and study? 

I know I should be reading books similar to the stories I want to write, but I haven't finished a published book in years because of work and school. I'm not even sure I know what I like anymore, and I think that's evident in my writing because I can't commit to a single story idea. At this point, I don't know where to start but I know I want to get back into reading by starting with a book I can learn from.

Sorry if this seems like a silly ask, please don't feel obligated to respond. Have a good day!

Hi there! Welcome, this isn’t a silly question at all. If anything I was musing on it because everyone has different taste, so I wasn’t sure how to answer exactly, but I’ll just list some examples I can think of that I’ve really enjoyed! These all fall under the sff genre for the most part, as that’s my jam. Though I will say, for a craft perspective, Stephen King’s On Writing is really excellent.

Insofar as authors i can think of immediately who really have their craft and voice down pat, ones who come to mind are Katherine Arden, Ava Reid, Madeline Miller, Erin Morgenstern, Tamsyn Muir, and RF Kuang. All of these authors really decidedly know what they’re doing with the craft, at least in my opinion, and the results are extraordinary. I’m currently reading The Warm Hands of Ghosts, Katherine Arden’s most recent adult book since the Winternight Trilogy, and the research she put into the setting of WW1 is so evident throughout it, especially in the voice and colloquialisms. She also did a ton of research for the Winternight books, which is historical fantasy at its finest, while creating an authentic old fairytale feeling

Madeline Miller is another with excellent command of voice, the queen of Greek retellings with Circe and The Song of Achilles, which are really tremendous character studies. Ava Reid I personally adore for the nuance of her characters—Juniper & Thorn and The Wolf & the Woodsman feature tremendously human and flawed protagonists—their language seeps through their settings, their metaphors are divine, and A Study in Drowning, her YA debut, is thoroughly saturated with all its core themes.

Erin Morgenstern, of The Night Circus and The Starless Sea, is known for her prose and atmosphere, a prime Vibes™️ writer. The Starless Sea is a more experimental novel, though both of her books play with disjointed timelines and perspectives, which is fascinating; The Starless Sea concerning itself with storytelling specifically.

Tamsyn Muir, the author of The Locked Tomb series, has such a handle on her characters and plot that it’s actually insane. Talk about a masterclass in writing a large cast with defined personalities. The difference in voice between Gideon, Harrow, and Nona, is unbelievably fascinating, just for how starkly different the headspaces of these characters are compared to each other. The layering and reread value is immense.

RF Kuang is a chameleon writer, who changes her style to match the genre she’s writing (grimdark historical fantasy, dark academia historical fantasy, contemporary satire-turned-thriller). Babel feels like her magnum opus, a modern day classic that I cannot praise highly enough. A slow start, but halfway through shit hits the fan, and it does not stop from there.

Shout outs also to: Simon Jimenez with The Spear Cuts Through Water, epic fantasy that uses first, second, and third person, and is a miracle for it. A masterclass of storytelling. Roshani Chokshi with The Last Tale of the Flower Bride, which might as well be evil toxic sapphic adult Bridge to Terebithia, dripping with decadence. Emily Habeck with Shark Heart, a contemporary spec fic novel that studies grief and caring for loved ones through a lens of terminal illness in the guise of a genetic disorder that turns people into animals; it plays around with script structure sometimes, and made me sob. Cormac McCarthy with The Road; bleak and dismal and post-apocalyptic, and nameless man and boy, nearly poetic. Camilla Andrew @aninkwellofnectar with When the Stars Alight, a romantic fantasy that positively teems with lush intentional language and is also a fascinating look at third person omniscient.

For classics: A Wrinkle in Time, the Lord of the Rings, Wuthering Heights, Frankenstein, Lord of the Flies, The Great Gatsby, Lolita.

I don’t think you can go wrong with any of these books or authors, though at the end of the day, there’s something to be learned from any book you read, whether it’s a good lesson or something to be avoided. I’m also down to try to give other recs, if you’re looking for anything specific!

[annbourbon]

💚✨ 💚 Yoosung Kim 💚 ✨💚

★A mirror of sadness: depression, grief & isolation★

After reading this post, I feel like I've been slapped lol he's really more than I gave him credit for, which is why I'm going to add something I learned while I was studying how to write better but whatever... let's get into it.

There's a thing called Foils, Simultaneous contrast and doppelgangers which I'm starting to study in Literature.

So, the thing with Yoosung is that he's there to allow the others shine too. As it's expressed by @yooseven-heaven , he's our mentor, but also, it is important to the whole game in a different way.

You'll see, foils are "opposite" characters. That are there to highlight others either by flaws or skills. So in a way, Yoosung is Jaehee foil. If he was hardworking (or if he lets us know he is hardworking) Jaehee suffer would never be as meaningful as it is, so in hindsight we would never understand Jaehee enough for us to point it out to Jumin. Because his behavior was quite deplorable with her.

But he is not Jumin either, if he was to be as skilled, rich or smooth as the others, the others wouldn't shine through. And also, it is thanks to him that we are told not to overwork ourselves. Several times during the whole game. So if you feel down you just have to look at him for some encouragement. And yes, Zen tells you that too. But he is one of those who doesn't do as its told. He drinks beer, doesn't even eat properly. Let me remind you it's Yoosung who actually eats better than Zen lol so, in a way, Yoosung existence helps Zen to tell us we should eat properly and sleep when its needed... or play games! Ironically I can see a bit of a parallel with these two though I have yet to acquire these endings (i'm too much of a coward lol)

Anyways Jaehee is so busy she can't actually say anything because of that. He also helps the player (at least it has helped me several times lol because I don't want to be like him and complain all day about stuff.) to get over everything faster.

Plus, if you look a bit into his past we are told that he was actually an excellent student, quite popular among girls too and he even rejected several girls under the impression that he would be able to date them in college. And then maybe he would but Rika's death happened. So he would definitely be a great boyfriend material at that time but not after that. What happened to him was basically, depression. But who wouldn't get depressed after all that? Even the song says it so: I miss Happy Rika

What if Happy Rika doesn't only refers to Rika but Yoosung itself?? Just a thought.

Now let's talk about Simultaneous Contrast. And because I suck with explaining these concepts i'm gonna leave a quote I heard from a great video analysis on Jane Austen characters, the video itself and an image where i'm summarizing everything up:

Quote:

Everything you see affects everything you see. So by nature we are always choosing the middle ground.

Image:

Video:

So on one side we have Jaehee, Zen and Jumin who are always working and on the other side we have Yoosung. In middle we have Seven. Who is really hardworking too, but also tends to lose a lot of time playing around. Now keep in mind that while I did say he was trying to mirror us (since we're the ones who are playing the game and so is he) he also has his own persona to add to this mix so it's not disappearing entirely under that mirror.

And this is why Yoosung is important as a character and can stand his own ground.

(Sorry I didn't went into a lot of detail with all the depression and mourning but those things are heavily triggering for me right now so I won't be able to fulfill it properly. Maybe I'll come back from time to time and add a line or two if I can gather my thoughts.)

[bluecatwriter]

Director's Cut for A Pale Orphan these two together are underrated!

Thank you for this! I love Mina and Renfield's relationship, so I'm happy for the chance to ramble about this one.

"A Pale Orphan": "On October 2nd, R.M. Renfield invites Mina Harker to visit him, and realizes that she is on the path to death unless he does something to intervene."

(CW for Christianity)

-As with many of my fics, this one was born out of a desire to expand on a part of the book that's just summarized in canon. After their conversation where Renfield says he hopes to God he will never see her again, he sends for her and they just hang out for a while… and then that night he attacks Mist!Drac in an attempt to save her life. I really wanted to dig into this scene and show a bit of their rapport and his motivation for turning on his master.

-People often point out that Renfield becomes motivated to save Mina because of her kindness, and I did want that to come across somewhat, but I liked exploring the idea of his protective instincts rising to the surface when he sees how alone she is— no one else in the group is protecting her, and Renfield feels the responsibility falling to him. It's a bit patriarchal, but he's also right— Mina can't stop what she can't see, and she does need someone who's outside the situation looking in to intervene.

-I start with him looking out at an oak tree, thinking about all the Life it supports. I was very restrained in not breaking out my geekery about how oak trees support more different kinds of organisms that the other trees in nearly any ecosystem they're part of!

-As I noted in the headnotes, I diverged a bit from canon by having Renfield instantly be able to tell that Mina is being fed upon— it worked better with the flow of the scene in my head. I expanded upon the image of her being transparent, showing how he is able to see how drained she is, even if everyone else can't.

-The mix of angst and sweetness in this fic was interesting to write; Renfield is going through twelve stages of grief while Mina is oblivious to what's going on and just wants to hang out and chat with someone who's not actively shutting her out. 

-Throughout the fic, I tried to show Renfield looking at Mina and constantly thinking, "Baby!" I headcanon her as 20 here, and I know that even I am starting to view 20-year-olds as babies, so I imagine the effect gets much magnified by the time you reach 59.

-I knew I wanted them to discuss literature, and I racked my brain for a novel with suitable themes, before copping out and just using the Bible, since I'm familiar with it and there's a lot of books there with all the themes you could wish for.

-Renfield says his favorite book of the Bible is Ecclesiastes (which just so happens to be my favorite, too— what a coincidence!). ;) Mina's less-than-thrilled reaction is similar to the others in my Bible study who suffered through three months on Ecclesiastes because of my suggestion to cover the book. I thought Renfield would like it for its nihilism, and some of the words from the poetry in it provided a nice echo throughout the story.

-In contrast, Mina chooses the Gospel of John, which reads more like a novel than most parts of the Bible (I've always been fond of the extensive dialogue), and that led naturally into them small-talking about writing and Mina's career, all with Renfield's despair about the whole situation simmering underneath.

-We get a few lines hinting at Renfield's backstory and family situation. (I've been very inspired by imsorryimlate's excellent fic "The Thunder Rattling Your Ground" for some of Renfield's backstory.)

-In this fic I throw in one headcanon for why Renfield and Jonathan don't interact when they're in the same room, showing that Renfield simply doesn't like his Vibes (there might be some envy there, too— Renfield can sense Dracula's fingerprints on him). 

-Mina gets a chance to gush about her cute husband, and then dispense her sage wisdom about marriage. In my headcanon Renfield never married, because he's gay and had no interest in pretending that he could enjoy being married to a woman.

-It was important to me that in this conversation, Mina get a chance to apologize for treating Renfield like an interesting case to be gawked at. Growth!

-Also I like the moment when she tells Renfield he reminds her of Mr. Hawkins because of his kindness and gentleness. This is the moment when he begins to realize he's gonna throw hands with a vampire.

-I had fun describing the various members of the Crew of Light through Renfield's eyes: he's like "BABY [Jonathan], BABY FACE [Quincey], HEAD EMPTY NO THOUGHTS [Arthur], FAILURE [Van Helsing] and ACTUALLY WORST PERSON IN EXISTENCE [Jack]." He's not entirely fair to any of them, but he's not entirely wrong either!

-I love the theme of sunset being a time of dread, and I thought it gave a nice ominous feel.

-Renfield kissing Mina's hand and sending her on her way with God's blessing is one of those things I keep forgetting is canon— it's such a great moment between them, a sign of him doing what he can in the moment even as he steels himself to what he will do later to defend her.

-Renfield is ready to rumble at the end of the fic. The transition from despair/helplessness to rage/gonna-try-anyway-even-if-it's-hopeless was the goal of this fic, and I think it came off pretty well.

-This fic also inspired one of my favorite drawings I've done!

Thanks again for the ask!

(Ask game here)

[headcanonsandmore]

Tegan/Nyssa fic recommendations

Fic lists used to be a big deal in fandom circles, and I think it’s always good to share fic recommendations with people. So here’s my current list of recommendations for Tegan/Nyssa fanfics! 

If you have any others you want to recommend, please reblog with them! 😊😊

One Word More by Serenbex. Miss Nyssa Traken and Miss Tegan Jovanka come from very different places and very different walks of life. They have nothing in common and don't even really like each other very much. Can changing opinion and changing circumstances help them to better understand themselves and each other? Rated G for General Audiences. AU fic based on ‘North and South’; enemies-to-lovers, a bit of angst with some socialist themes thrown in. @serenbex is an amazing author and y’all should read my friends’ fic. 

In fact, check out all of Serenbex’s fics; they’re truly fantastic. Special shout-outs to their multi-series epic ‘From The Stars’ (which is still ongoing) and the adorable one-shot ‘Lost In Translation’.

Earthling Customs (and the Aliens that Love Them) by WearyOctopus. After time-engine trouble strands the Tardis in space for several hours, Nyssa claims that Tegan is more than 300 days into her adventures on the Tardis and, thus, due to celebrate Christmas. The four travelers agree to an elaborate yuletide spectacular, some more enthusiastically than others. In the hustle of preparations, Tegan and Nyssa are paired off and begin to sort out their as-yet unspoken feelings for each other. Rated G for General Audiences. Adorable fluff with some excellent ‘The Fifth Doctor is a single dad’ coding.

Keeper Of My Heart by darklioness82. On Terminus, Nyssa gave Tegan a very special parting gift from Traken. Reunited 30 years later, Tegan learns its true value and meaning. Rated G for General Audiences. (Check out darklioness82’s other fics as well; they’re amazing)

Our Times by Ellimac. Tegan meets a mysterious stranger on a plane and accidentally falls in love. Turns out she's an alien, but they can work around that. Multi-chapter AU fic. Rated G for General Audiences.

White Elephant by TechnicolorRevel. Nyssa and Tegan go looking for a gift, at the Doctor's request. They get a bit side tracked. Rated G for General Audiences. Fluff with a bit of grief mixed in.

Quiet by TechnicolorRevel. Tegan has some trouble sleeping her first night on the TARDIS. Rated G for General Audiences. Character study.

Like You I’m Indestructible by Netgirl_y2k. The one where Tegan stays on Terminus with Nyssa. Rated G for General Audiences. What it says on the tin.

in a dream your future had a voice by TechnicolorRevel. Nyssa borrows Tegan's lipstick. Rated G for General Audiences. Cute fluff with a slight of insecurities explored.

Basically, everything Tegan/Nyssa by TechnicolorRevel; they’re really great at writing the pairing.

Show Me More Of This Traken Thing Called Kissing by Doyle. Nyssa makes a formal bid for Tegan's romantic affections. Tegan isn't quite sure what to do with that, really. Rated T for Teen. Really fun fic dealing with cultural differences in regards to courtship rituals.

Drag Me Through The Best of Years by Aces. An exploration over time of Tegan and Nyssa’s relationship, building on missing moments through their time together. A really sweet fic. Rated G for General Audiences.

The Many Proposals Of Tegan And Nyssa by LonelySpaceAce. What it says on the tin; its literally just these two being in love and proposing multiple times. Rated G for General Audiences. @lonely-space-ace is amazing at writing these two being adorable dorks.

Just read everything by LonelySpaceAce, because they’re amazing.

Amsterdam by LissyStrata. Left alone in Amsterdam for the weekend, Nyssa gets into some substances she shouldn't and Tegan looks after her. (Takes place after Arc of Infinity). G for General Audiences, but does technically involve some drug usage. Fluff with some hurt/comfort. Very funny. @lissy-strata is great at this.

Frozen like me by Calapine. Tegan and Nyssa struggle to keep warm in freezing temperatures. This one was originally posted to LiveJournal back in 2004, so don’t ever think that Tegan/Nyssa is a recent fandom development.

to love the light, the fire's spark, you must first have been buried in the deep down dark by TechnicolorRevel. Nyssa might have been good at diplomacy, but she'd always felt like she wasn't very good at her own feelings. Rated T for Teen. Really excellent bit of character writing for Nyssa.

Day By Day (By Day) by Settiai. If the Doctor wanted to disappear for a week with Adric in tow, leaving Nyssa and Tegan alone in the TARDIS...... well, who were they to argue? Rated T for Teen. Really cute slice-of-life fluff.

Language Transparency by JohnAmendAll. The TARDIS's ability to translate everything you say, hear and read is so convenient. Why wouldn't you want it? Rated T for Teen. Mild angst with a lot of fluff (and even a little saucy towards the end).

We Found Wonderland by rorybluebox. Snippets of Tegan and Nyssa falling in love. Raedt G for General Audiences. Lots of sweet fluff.

Borrowed Anxiety by mylordshesacactus. A couple of “missing moments” style scenes between Tegan and Nyssa. Rated G for General Audiences.

First Snowfall by orphan_account (their AO3 homepage is discontinued, apparently). Nyssa's never seen snow before, and Tegan tries to rectify this. Rated G for General Audiences. Very sweet fluff.

A Very Silly Battle by evilqueenofgallifrey (MayFairy). Tegan teaches Nyssa about pillowfights. In addition to getting hit with pillows, they also both get hit with soft gay feelings. Rated G for General Audiences. Very cute fluff. Side note; this was one of the first Tegan/Nyssa fics I ever read because @evilqueenofgallifrey has a blog on Tumblr and posted this on here.

Hope you like these fics, everyone! Like I said, please reblog and comment with any others you’d like to recommend!

[daedalusdavinci]

📓

Put “📓” or some other version of a book emoji into my inbox and I’ll explain the plot of a fanfiction that I haven’t written but daydream about.

sorry im gonna talk about batman again it was always gonna be about batman you knew this you knew this when you sent me this emoji i was gonna say some shit about batman

i want to talk abotu that riddlebat detective au again bc IM SERIOUS i swear im gonna write this one day i just need a good solid mystery to structure it around im rewatching psych right now im currently waiting for an episode to load and the complete sherlock holmes is on my desk its gonna happen im going to take my love of mystery and shove it into batman if it kills me now listen

bruce wayne, grew up to be a doctor like his father always wanted, chose to work in the morgue like his father never did. surrounds himself with death. batman unburied was incredibly sexy for this, im stealing it. he cares about victims, he cares about peoples grief, he cares about his community like no one else and when someone needs help and a mystery needs solving well,, most people who dont matter underestimate him. hes just brucie wayne! hes an eccentric rich guy living on the edge of gotham, he hosts charity galas from time to time, hes nice and a little strange, and who cares. but if you need help, hell sit with you in the study and listen quietly over a pot of tea, and somehow, he figures everything out. every time. he doesnt call himself a detective, hes just a doctor, and he cares about people

enter eddie. eddies a thief. he likes puzzles, he likes making people think. he does things for the challenge of them, to feel like he can, and to rub it in peoples faces that he got away with it. i think he gets into it because his boss steals his ideas and fires him when he asks for credit and its a revenge thing, ala btas bc btas <3. but it doesnt stop there, yknow. because then bruce is the puzzle

i want to write a fic where eddie is the toughest villain bruce has ever come up against. every other mystery, he figures out eventually. every other time, he gets his man. but eddie is the one who just keeps getting away. eddies not like anything hes ever dealt with before. he challenges bruce in a way absolutely no one else does and the way he does it is.... infuriating. sending him bouquets with hints in the flowers and a love note tucked into the leaves is goddamn infuriating and eddie just excels at driving bruce nuts. its all just vibes and feelings at this point but ill buff it out one day

harveys da and a close friend of bruces that bruce leans on for sneaky legal shit, selinas a catburglar that bruce catches and loses more than once, ivys a botanist and murderer with a hatred for the slimy men in her field, and everyone else really will just fall into place with time

[journeydb]

November 10 2021 Barcelona

Happy 21st Birthday, Elayna!  Our beautiful, talented, brilliant, sweet, WONDERFUL niece has been a joy throughout her life and we are SO blessed to have her in OUR lives.

NOBODY has eyes like Elayna!  If the eyes are truly the windows to the Soul then I believe she has a Spirit which is unlike any other I’ve ever known and truly amazing.  Elayna is also a fabulous makeup artist and she practices on herself and isn’t afraid to try new things - hence the pink hair!

Elayna has the voice of an angel and also writes her own songs.  She went to Gould Academy for high school and performed in MANY musicals and comedies.  She is a really good actress and dancer, too.  She excels as a writer and is also a hard worker.  Elayna received almost a FULL scholarship to Trinity College in Hartford, Connecticut and has maintained excellent grades for the three and a half years she has been there.  She’ll be graduating next May.

Elayna loves animals and they adore her too.  They respond to her kindness and compassion and, like everyone else, they just like being around her.  Bonnie and Clyde are siblings and were the CUTEST kittens.  Now they are full grown and still love to sit on Elayna’s lap.

Elayna was a loving and caring big sister to Autumn and an adoring little sister to her big sister, Aimey.  All the kids were very much affected by their parents’ divorce but, thankfully, Elayna was only five when it happened and she didn’t remember how mean her father had been to her mother and older siblings.  Her life changed for the better when our sister, Fran, brought the kids to Bethel to live, where they had Aunt Kathi and Uncle John to watch over them and help them grow up. 

Elayna has always been close to her cousins, especially Courtney, and those relationships have continued into adulthood.  Elayna has many friends because she’s such a kind, considerate person and you can count on her to do what she says she’ll do.  She is trustworthy.

I’ve missed out on a lot of our nieces’ and nephew’s lives, living in Colorado while they were all back east, but I did my best to stay close to them, visit them every year, and bring them to Colorado to be with us.  Now that Aimey also lives in Colorado we see her family more than ever, thank goodness.

Being the third child is purported to be difficult and it hasn’t been easy for Elayna being in between her brother, Tucker, and her little sister, Autumn.  Tucker picked on her a LOT, because she was often in her own little world, which I found endearing, but he couldn’t understand.  She idolized him and wanted his approval and it was hurtful when he was so much kinder to Autumn, who was more like him than Elayna was, and with whom he could relate better.  

When Tucker took his life in September, 2018, it was devastating for his family.  Elayna had just started college and had to take time off to help her mother and deal with her own grief.  She went back the next spring and took extra classes so she could graduate on time next spring.  Autumn also was greatly affected by the death of her big brother and best friend and it was hard for her to concentrate on her studies but she worked hard and graduated from high school last June.  We are all SO proud of these two young women and all they have accomplished.  Autumn took some time off last summer to focus on herself and her relationship with her boyfriend, Sheyene.  Now, with the grace of God, they are going to be parents in April!  

Elayna has been through a lot in her short life and she has managed to stay the same, sweet, thoughtful person who knows her own mind and isn’t afraid to speak it.  She’s strong, resilient, and hard-working and I know she’ll make a big difference in the world, because she already has made a difference in the lives of everyone who knows her.

[nevermindirah]

Dorothy Freeman facts

By facts I of course mean headcanons, because Nile's mom doesn't get a first name in canon (or even confirmation that her last name is Freeman). All we know about her is the picture on Nile's phone lock screen (which is Kiki Layne's real-life mom and brother!) and a few lines that Nile tells Andy about her. I’ve been collecting my Dorothy headcanons for a while now to eventually make a post, and @mprosperossprite​‘s excellent post giving non-Americans context for what it means that Nile is from the South Side of Chicago prompted me to go ahead and share this. Disclaimer that I’m white and I will absolutely make corrections if it’s pointed out that I’ve caused harm with any of this.

So here have some fun facts about the version of Mama Freeman who lives in my head rent-free:

Her family and growing up:

she was born in the mid-'60s and named after Dorothy Dandridge

I can’t decide whether she was born in Chicago or moved there later on (maybe with Nile’s dad?) and when in the waves of the Great Migration her family left the South

she came of age in the "post"-Civil Rights movement and went to college in the mid-80s when a lot of what are now the foundational classics of Black feminism were being written

she was a young adult when Anita Hill risked so much to report that a Supreme Court nominee had sexually harassed her, and as a result she HATES Joe Biden

Marriage and babies:

she met Nile's father — I can’t decide how they met and I have two competing headcanons for his name, either Gideon for the hefty Biblical masculinity vibes (Giddy for short among family, that man loved to laugh) or Carl, which started out as a shitty Carl’s Jr burger chain joke that turns out to be perfect (it means free man!), and @knoepfchen​ used it in the sequel to if you do take a thief where Carl is alive!! — and Dorothy was a little skeptical of his near-religious devotion to the military but he was really hot and really devoted to her and they made it work

she's a little pissed that she was right but it's unbearable if she thinks about it too often

it's going to be a long, long time before she can look back on pictures of Baby Nile stomping around the house in her dad's combat boots (this is a Gina Prince Bythewood headcanon, whyyyyyyyy can I not find a link to where she said this)

she named their second baby Indus, Indy for short (this is nearly as established fanon in Book of Nile circles as how much Booker loves eating pussy, and Indy Freeman as a young adult is portrayed by either Aldis Hodge or John Boyega I don’t make the rules)

Work:

Dorothy did some office jobs but nothing really grabbed her, and she was probably gonna have to move for her husband's career, so she decided on teaching — high school humanities

she’s been active in CTU (one of the strongest teacher’s unions in the US) her whole career and one year she was on the bargaining committee and her babies know damn well never to trust a boss, not even one who says all the right things — if she ever finds out the way Nile said "like Quynh?" when Andy promised to protect her, she will lose her mind with pride

(Nile was 18 and freshly graduated from high school in 2012 when CTU went on strike for the first time in a generation and she brought her mom snacks on the picket line)

one of her very favorite things is getting her students to laugh despite themselves at her "oh my GOD you're so EMBARRASSING" old-people jokes

she's one of those teachers who can get 30+ teenagers to go dead silent with judicious application of body language

she's known to occasionally go easy on grading subjective things like essays when she knows students are having a particularly rough time at home, but the second she gets the feeling they're taking advantage and not trying their best that shit is over and they better mind their Ps & Qs

she's the kind of person who says old-people shit like that

she gives her students assignments like "help 5 neighbors register to vote" and "write a compare/contrast table about the candidates in this local election" and "research 5 different ways you could get grant money to do X" and other practical civic-minded shit

standardized testing is her supervillain origin story, just kidding it’s Rahm Emanuel, why the fuck did Obama trust that asshole

After her husband died:

she would have lost her goddamn mind if it weren't for her church friends after her husband died, people from the church raised money so they could make ends meet while his pension paperwork was taking forever, church friends watched Indy so Nile could go out for the soccer team, etc etc

she sold her and her late husband's house and moved to a 3-bedroom co-op unit when Nile started high school, it's more affordable and it meant she didn't have to worry about household repairs in the same way, she can use a wrench if she needs to but she doesn't have time and it just makes her grief flare up (co-op housing has a long history in Chicago and other US cities (like Washington DC where I live) as a way for Black people to access decent, affordable housing in the face of entrenched discrimination)

the move meant putting a longer commute between her and church, but she didn't even bother looking for a church closer to their new home, she loaded the kids into the car on the weekends, parking is hell in their new neighborhood but it's worth giving up a hard-won parking spot to not have to wait so long for the L on Sunday mornings

Indy lived with her through college and he was gearing up to get his own place when Nile died, Dorothy was planning to move into a one-bedroom in the co-op building because she doesn't need so much space anymore, Indy took a day off from his new job (not so new anymore, her baby's so grown!) to help her sort things to donate when those dress-uniform Marines came to their door

part of her wishes she could've been home more and not had to rely on Nile so much for help with Indy, but he's turned out such a kind young man, and he's a much better cook than his sister is (was, oh God — no wait, is! she’s alive! what do you mean you’ve been alive all this time??)

some of the girls from church are encouraging her to check out this social dancing thing, nobody's pressuring her to date but there's definitely been some ribbing, and with Indy out of the house... maybe? probably not, but maybe

Her feelings and beliefs and likes and dislikes:

she's an absolute badass and also she's a soft human woman with lots of feelings

she's very, very traditional in some ways, and part of her mixed feelings about Nile following in her dad's footsteps is gender stuff, she's proud of her daughter and would never stand in the way of what Nile wants to do with her life, and if Nile came home and told her she's a lesbian she would never reject her, but if Nile came home and told her she's bisexual maybe she can just try focusing on men? “I love you sweetheart and I want you to be happy I just know how hard it is already for us in this world” type shit

she has been on team natural hair basically her entire life and one of the worst fights she and Nile ever had was over Nile wanting to straighten her hair as a pre-teen

Indy takes more after her and Nile takes more after their dad, she's so proud of both of them, but Dorothy's activism was mostly wearing her natural hair to work and daring bosses to give her shit, Indy's out there marching in the streets like her parents had and she WORRIES

she teases Indy for going to so many protests like he's using it as an excuse to meet girls, but she WORRIES

when she turns 60, she gets box braids with streaks of dark purple, subtle enough that it's still work-appropriate but it makes her smile, she may be old now but damnit she’s still pretty!

she loves Grey's Anatomy and Star Trek and she watched Bridgerton all in one day

she has a dirty-old-lady celebrity crush on Chris Hemsworth

if she's ever masturbated thinking about Donna Summer, well, that's nobody's business but her own (do non-Americans know about the queen of disco??)

If you want to read fic featuring Dorothy:

I won't have to leave alone, 1000 words, Nile has a nightmare and decides to go tell her family she's immortal

I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore, 65k, Nile adjusts to immortality and does a lot of soul searching about what it means to "do what we think is right", Booker goes to grad school for trauma studies, the working title of this fic was Booker Reads Edward Said and Gloria Anzaldúa and Goes Down on Nile and the final product has an annotated bibliography in the author's notes if you’re into that kind of thing, a lot of my Dorothy Freeman headcanons were born of my process writing this

Gather round the table, we'll give you a treat, 2279 words, college AU, Nile brings her Jewish boyfriend home for Christmas

a contribution I made to Shitty Old Guard Deaths: (Booker, USA, 2025, cause of death: a mother’s righteous wrath)

[lizacstuff]

Sen Çal Kapımı ep 48 asks

THE EPISODE WHERE THEY FINALLY GOT MARRIED!!!!!!!

SERKAN AND EDA ARE MARRIED!!

FINALLY!

YES!!!!!!!!!

Okay, now that I got that out of my system, asks under the read more.

andhewonherheart asked: @andhewonherheart I love that Bolat is Aydan’s last name, not Alptekin’s. I know it’s a little of a retcon, but this way we don’t need to worry about Serkan and his family carrying that man’s name. And Aydan would be a woman that strongarms her husband into taking her last name.

I LOVED THIS!  I sat up straight when Kemal made the comment about Alptekin taking her name and cheered. Seriously. What a great turn of events. Serkan is so attached to his name, it’s nice that he didn’t have to have an identity crisis over that on top of everything else. And now it’s not weird for Eda and Kiraz to take his name after finding out Kemal is actually his father, which I wanted for them. I wanted them all to be tied together with a name, to have that feeling of belonging. Plus, as you say, it’s nice they don’t have the name of that man. 

I will say one thing, though... is it really a retcon?  Did they ever say Bolat was Alptekin’s given last name? I don’t think they did (but who knows with the iffy translations we all rely on). I do remember Aydan bragging on the lineage of the Bolats in a very early episode (maybe 2?) and at the time I thought it was odd that she was so proud of the lineage when she just married into it, especially because if memory serves she was sort of heckling Eda, who was marrying a Bolat.  Perhaps this was always intended, and we only feel like it’s a retcon because we’re programmed by a patriarchal society to assume a woman always take a man’s last name?

Anonymous asked: I don’t really like the idea of Serkan giving up Art Life. I understand the symbolism of him giving up his work for his family, but I would’ve preferred that he finds a balance, like he did with bringing Kiraz to work. I feel like that would’ve been a more rounded way of approaching his character, instead of swinging him in the other direction, now instead of having only work, he only has his family. When he could have both.

He will have both. Eventually. He’ll figure it out and get back to where he was. He is Serkan Bolat after all. You don’t expect him to sit idle for any length of time, do you?

As much as part of me was just torn up at him selling his stake in the company, I thought it was really beautiful.  Sure, balance is good, but this is a man who has ripped out Eda’s heart twice by telling her that work is more important than she is to him. This is a man who left ON HIS WEDDING DAY, who put work first ON HIS WEDDING DAY, who got on a plane ON HIS WEDDING DAY because he tried to balance (do both, go to Italy and get married in one day) and it ended up putting them both through hell and almost ruining both of their lives.

Picture how you would feel if the person you were marrying decided to fly to another country on your wedding day? 

So I disagree with you. I’m more than fine with Serkan Bolat unequivocally putting Eda first over his career and company. After everything they’ve been though, and her insecurities in that area, it was incredibly important and now she will never, ever doubt where his heart lies. It’s with her. She (and their family) is his top priority.

Besides, the show started with Serkan having destroyed Eda’s dream of studying to become a landscape architect in Italy, it’s quite poetic that he gave up something substantial so that she could realize a dream of working as a landscape architect on her dream project in Italy.

I’m pretty sure she’ll be more than happy to help rebuild their company. Together. 

Anonymous asked: i know you said in your previous ask round-up that as far as the actual proposal goes, nothing would top that speech in 27.. i was wondering how you felt about his speech this episode. sure, it wasn't actually the proposal, more like a "reception" toast, but for me i think it was my favorite speech, or at least top 3, serkan has said to/about eda.. just pure love about their journey together and a huge full circle moment with that video from the pilot episode.

YEEEEEESSSSSS. I so agree with this, and actually thought exactly this while watching.  It was a marvelous speech and while, as you say, it was presented as more of a toast, it was really more of a wedding vow.  

I loved it. And I’ve rewatched it multiple times and I plan to watch it many times more. As always Kerem and Hande were excellent in the scene. Eda and Serkan were in front of their friends and family, but they were so focused in on one another they might as well have been alone. The emotion was palpable. 

She is love. Dang, Serkan!  He’s mentioned love at first sight a couple of times, it was nice that in this moment he gave another nod to that.

Loved the call back to the video from the first episode, it worked really well, especially to remind us of how it all started and how she felt like he destroyed her dream. That segued into him mentioned them destroying each other’s dreams. As I said above, quite poetic, especially since he then put his money where his mouth was by the end of the episode and destroyed his dream to preserve hers. 

Well done, show. 

Anonymous asked: i have loved the tone of this season so much. none of the drama we have is super heavy, outside of the kiraz reveal which was given the angst and importance it should have bc of how it important it was. otherwise, we've had happy (now married!) edser coming back together and now facing trouble and issues as a couple! this was basically all i wanted for them since 28!

Yes, me too. I really enjoy the tone this season. As you say, it’s not super heavy, the melodrama is at a minimum, most things are light and fluffy and even heavy issues are played with a light hand. 

For me, I’ve really enjoyed this season and I’m super glad we got it.  I think COVID did us one favor by shutting down production when it did and forcing them to reevaluate what they were doing.  If they hadn’t I’m guessing the show would have continued in a very messy and directionless manner, with lots of melodrama and storylines that would have been traumatic to watch. 

Season 2 has direction and purpose and a plan and once we got past the horrified shock of the time jump and the secret daughter (which I grant you was no small feat) it’s pretty much been trauma free. 

Anonymous asked: After watching the episode, I'm lowkey disappointed. we did get Pretty Woman SCK-style. I was promised Serkan as a gigilo and Eda encouraging it!!!!! LOL, jokes aside, I'll never forget the outrage over that fragman over "harassment" or "prostitution" of all things when the actual dinner scene lasted 3 minutes, Eda was being at the hotel the whole time, and the scene where people thought she was encouraging him was about her project. Almost 50 eps and you would ppl would learn how fragmans work.

The fragman was insanely misleading, but lots of them are, so you would think they would have figured it out by now, but nope! A large swath of people really embarrassed themselves with their complete over reaction to something that turned out to be nothing like they thought. 

Thankfully Serkan was entirely in the dark about how dire the situation was and why Eda was pushing him to make nice with Deniz, and only humored Deniz very unwillingly and then completely cut ties with her.  I think the best part was the least shocking twist ever... that the Serkan staying in her room line was an actual joke on the show. Come on, kids, it was pretty obvious to anyone with a brain that Serkan would never actually consider staying with her, and certainly not just days after he got married. Preposterous!   

Having said that, I do agree with people who think that Deniz being obsessed with him to that degree is dumb. There is a thread of misogyny and internalized misogyny (depending on which writers) running through the writing of these female guest characters who come in and absolutely shed all dignity, sanity and common sense when it comes to Serkan. Selin, Balca, the actress and Deniz.  Good grief. However, I just don’t care enough to get pissy. If that’s what they’ve come up with to fuel the jealousy trope that apparently is a must for Turkish dizis without having Serkan ever have eyes for anyone but Eda, then so be it.  

The formula is more than obvious by now, so I’m not sure why some folks made asses of themselves jumping to other conclusions. 

[jazy3]

Thoughts on Grey’s Anatomy: 17X8

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

I freakin’ loved this episode! It was so so good! Which surprised me considering what they focused on. Based on the promo I knew that this would be DeLuca’s goodbye episode and so I expected to like the other parts of the episode we were shown in the promo such as Hayes talking to Meredith at her bedside, Richard’s storyline, and Derek’s return. However, I was not expecting to enjoy any part of DeLuca’s farewell storyline and I was pleasantly surprised. I think that’s because they focused on the effects of grief and guilt and how everyone processes those emotions differently.

It was a really interesting character study on how each person feels a loss in their own way. Despite not liking the character I actually found DeLuca’s memorial service quite moving. I think it was because they found a creative way to do it and because funerals in the real world like we normally do aren't possible right now. My grandfather died last summer and while he didn’t want a funeral my family and I weren’t able to get together to mourn his loss as we usually would and that’s been hard.

I wasn’t particularly close with my grandfather, but the loss of traditional grieving rituals in this time of COVID-19 has been frustrating. I liked that they found a creative way to have the characters mourn the loss of a fellow staff member. I expected to see Carina more, but as I understand it her storyline played out more on Station 19 which makes sense. I felt like they did a good job of showing the five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) and how everyone experiences them differently.

Teddy and Owen displayed survivors' guilt and frustration that they did everything right and he still died. At the end we see Teddy in a catatonic state and it made me think that she might be sick with COVID herself or that there was something else wrong. While I've never been a Teddy and Owen shipper I did like the moment at the end where Owen noticed something was wrong and came over to her and told her that he would take her home and when she didn't respond he picked her up and carried her.

It reminded me of the Season 2 episode where Denny dies and Izzie refuses to leave his side so Alex picks her up and carries her over to a chair in her prom dress. Very different relationships, but a nice parallel in my opinion. This episode had a lot of those. Teddy seeing DeLuca in other people’s faces was freaky! I have to say that guy is way more interesting as a ghost then he ever was alive.  

I totally got Helm's reaction. I understand why she said and thought those horrible things about DeLuca. He was an ass for a really long time. I probably would have done the same thing myself, but that doesn't mean she wanted him dead. I thought what Maggie did for her was wonderful. My heart broke for Schmitt when he described his emotions. Richard was angry and Bailey went overboard trying to figure out what happened. Everyone's experience of a loss is different and I like that they showed that.

I’m glad that Richard told Bailey what she needed to hear. It was painful, but in trying to find an answer or a reason for what happened she was unintentionally hurting the people around her who were suffering too. The strength of Richard and Bailey's relationship is that they can tell each other the truth when no one else can or will. I loved his monologue to Catherine about trying to find a meaning in the puzzle of life and questioning his faith which is such a big part of his sobriety. James Pickens Jr. did a beautiful job in that scene.

Say what you want about Catherine, but I loved her response. Richard was trying to find meaning in the meaningless and in response she shared with him that her latest scans showed that the cancer hadn’t grown. Logically it should have, but it didn’t. Sometimes there are miracles and sometimes there are senseless deaths. Life is a puzzle. We don’t always understand it. That was exactly what Richard needed to hear in that moment.

On a more upbeat note, I loved the beach scenes this week! They were perfect! They were everything I dreamed of for my favourite characters and more! We got to see Derek and Meredith get closer and talk about the kids. When Meredith is heartbroken that Derek never got to meet Ellis or to know her he tells her all of these wonderful things about her. How she’s just like Meredith and makes it clear that he’s watching over them always.

He talks about Zola and how she writes to him in her journal and how Meredith taught her to ride a bike. I teared up! I've been waiting for them to discuss the kids and here it is! Hearing Derek talk about Ellis and knowing that he watches over Meredith and the kids was so emotional for me. I loved hearing him describe who she is and getting to learn more about her. I'm glad he encouraged her to go back. As much as Derek and Meredith miss each other she's needed back in the land of the living.

Her kids need her and so does everyone else. I loved Derek's gentle teasing. His facial expressions. And then there are her scenes with Hayes! God they were perfect! I've been waiting for this! I loved how Meredith kept joyfully asking him what he did to make Ellis smile so wide and laugh so loudly. She knows he can't hear her yet there she is dying to know what he said or did. The sound of her voice when she said that was everything for me. They already feel like a couple. So much in sync.

I love that Derek, who was shown to be extremely jealous in life, encouraged her to hear Hayes out. I really felt like he was giving her his blessing and the fact that they established that Hayes has met the kids virtually and they know who he is sealed the deal for me. Hayes has now received Cristina’s approval, Derek’s blessing, and is shown to have positive relationships with Meredith’s friends and family in Seattle. I loved that Hayes told Meredith to fight and talked about how her kids were doing and how everyone needs her.

I loved that he came and sat at her bedside and begged her to fight and not give up and that he talked to her even though he wasn’t sure if she could hear him. I love that he sat with her through the virtual memorial even though he wasn’t close to DeLuca and didn’t like him. The cheerful greeting and familiarity with which he greets Amelia and Zola and the stories he tells Meredith indicates that he’s been having regular video chats with Amelia, Maggie, Link, and the kids and that he’s chosen to stay by Meredith’s side when he just as easily could have left while she was on a call with her kids.  

It will also make the transition easier when do start dating because the kids will already know him. The music in this episode was really beautiful. Especially the songs that played during the beach scenes. I really enjoyed the drunken Link, Jo, and Jackson scene. I felt it brought much needed levity and humour to the episode the same way the beer scene with Jackson, Link, and Winston did in the previous episode. Their scenes were funny and raw and provided a good balance for the episode.

I also loved seeing more of Jo and Jackson's friends with benefits relationship and more of Jo and Link and Jackson and Link's friendship. I'd actually forgotten that Jackson and Link were friends so it was cool to see that dynamic again and that Link is supportive of their situation. The drinking game to me felt like a throwback to the Season 2 episode where Meredith and Cristina are at Joe’s Bar playing a game of whose life sucks the most and she tells them that Derek is married and Cristina tells her she’s pregnant. These revelations eventual lead to Cristina scheduling an abortion and declaring Meredith her person.

It was cool to see Maggie and Winston working together at Grey Sloan Memorial. Winston living in Boston was only going to go on for so long because as we've all found out this past year there's only so much you can do virtually. I knew he'd be moving to Seattle at some point and I'm glad to see him working at the hospital and hanging with Maggie's family. The scene where he danced it out with the kids was too cute! I'll be interested to see more of their dynamic moving forward as Maggie used to be his teacher and is now his boss. I'm also glad that both Winston and Hayes are finally getting the proper screen time they deserve.

Their storyline with the naked guy cracked me up! My two favourite lines of the episode were when the guy freaked out because he realized he wasn’t wearing his mask and Maggie said, “You’re not wearing much of anything.” And when Maggie and Winston went looking for him and Zander Perez, the resident from Pac North, told them, “If you’re looking for a naked guy he went that way.” I laughed so hard!

The scenes with Zola got me. She is a real trouper. She definitely is Meredith Grey's daughter through and through. I'm a big believer in found family and one of the things Grey's does really is show that there are many different ways to be a family and that family is what you make of it. True family is made up of the people who love and support you unconditionally not genetics. I really love that they've shown the strength of that bond between Zola and her family.

My favourite hidden moment of the episode was Tom! He appears in the background at DeLuca's memorial which means he's getting better. If he's well enough to be outside at the memorial then his condition has greatly improved since last we saw and that's great! Tom's a wonderfully complex character and I'm glad he's doing better. He appears in a bunch of deleted scenes that were released through the Grey’s Anatomy Twitter account which I highly recommend. The writing in this episode was excellent!

This episode was written by Adrian Wenner whose previous credits include the Season 16 episode ‘A Hard Pill to Swallow’ in which Meredith and Hayes work that vaping case together and get to know each for the first time. Honestly, my only complaint about this episode is that I wish they’d done it sooner! I wish they had bumped this and the previous episode up. The Mid-Season Finale felt very anti-climatic to me and was poorly received by a lot of fans. I wish they had just scrapped that episode or combined it with what we saw in the Mid-Season Premiere and then jumped into this episode after the break. But we’re here now and that’s the important thing.

Onto next week’s promo. Damn does it look interesting! We see that Owen has brought Teddy home and she’s not eating or speaking and he’s worried if her condition does not improve he’ll have to admit her. I’m sure he’s having flashbacks to when Cristina did the same thing after the plane crash. She appears to be experiencing some kind of nightmare sequence where she sees DeLuca as a ghost and Meredith speaks to her. Looks intense!

Until next time!

[mego42]

Shamelessly stealing @foxmagpie​’s monthly rec thing without the ability to get my life together to do these on a monthly basis so, seasonal recs! So excited to see if I manage to do this again with anything remotely resembling consistency but i’ve been keeping the notes for approximately 43 years (or since ~september, whatever that means) so by god i’m gonna use them. 

found my thrill - s_t_c_s / @sothischickshe​

Turner POV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

guys turner is SO OBSESSED with Beth and Rio

both canonically and in this fic

it’s gr9

also features a weirdly soothing and relatable cord untangling moment as a metaphor

truly disturbingly relatable turner pov tbh

relentless boomer disdain, always a plus

led to the creation of this monstrosity, not sure what kind of a monster would do that

War In My Mind - mintletters16

Backread!!!!

post-213, gorgeous character study 

guaranteed to make you feEl stUfF

I really love the like, cyclical, fractured pattern of Beth’s internal monologue, it gives the whole thing a really affecting at times dreamy, at times haunted vibe

the end twist is *chef’s kiss*

mourning bells - Ejunkiet / @ejunkiet​

Backread!!!!

Later s2 era, Rio’s at a funeral, gets drunk and calls Beth

V short, kind of…..mmm, not sweet, but almost? Idk

It’s got a wistful sort of almost/i can be quiet with you vibe that i go extremely bonkers for

delinquents - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie​

Lol are any of you actually not reading this yet?

g o d ch 8 where do i start

First off how ABSOLUTELY VERY DARE for the tragic angst that is delinquents!beth boland. This poor baby, this precious bean. MUST PROTEC

SHE’S TRYING HER BEST AND I LOVE HER

zero percent deserves dean’s clammy hands, no i have not forgotten, tattooed on my brain, will never forgive

I also love love love love LOVE the ruby/stan subplot happening

(and ruby’s mom!!!!!) (seriously though you write the best moms)

oh god and baby beth starting to have confusing feelings about rio?????? *chef’s kiss*

p sure i was just like, straight screaming the entire end of the chapter

the dugout is like, pure serotonin

I can’t even talk about the closet

tHe teNsiOn

thank you i will take eleventy billion

don't give it a hand, offer it a soul - medievalraven / @medievalraven

am a desperate heaux for any fic that features rio and mick friendship

you are all incredibly shocked i know

still would not be mad if this swerved into rio x mick fake dating but beth x rio is cool too i guess

Speaking of things i am a desperate heaux for: DIANE!!!!!!!!

and DATING ANNIE???????????? Blessed

honestly this fic is worth it purely for the assertion that mick watches queer eye

Why don't we go to Venus? - watermelonriddles / @bensonstablers​

another grief study! 

apparently i was working through some stuff in september, idk, that was like 4 years ago

considering it’s the premise of the fic, i don’t think it’s a spoiler to say this fic is canon divergent and working with the premise that rio killed beth in 302

he is uh, not coping well

extremely haunted you might say

lots of marcus and rhea which is a delight!

rhea is to good for him tbh

i said what i said

truly top notch dream (nightmare?) sequences

the conversation at the end is extremely uncalled for

drop the game - Ejunkiet / @ejunkiet​

Backread!!!!

Am going to die mad Beth and Rio didn’t hook up in 211 but luckily this fic scratched the itch 

(temporarily, it’s a fairly permanent itch)

Bonus rec: missing scene series i wanna do bad things to you featuring 2x02 and 2x04

Viva Voce - zetuslapetus / @querenaxx​

Whoops we woke up married Vegas shenanigans!! 

So cute!!!!! So sexy!!!!! 

What more do you want?

am desperately obsessed with how beth can’t help stalking rio

feels right, feels organic

this makes me feel a lot of stuff about how they could be without their canon garbage between them

🎶 we could’ve had it aaaaaaaaaaall 🎶

you showed me colors (i can't see them with anyone else) - gild_fire / @gild-and-fire​

really into the use of color to illustrate beth’s emotional state, i feel like there’s a word for that but idk what it is

UNIMPORTANT

really nice job capturing beth’s inner vulnerability balanced by her outer stubbornness

am DESPERATELY into Mick playing matchmaker

more please???????

Both Sides of the Law - JoeyLee / @joeyjoeylee​

LAW SCHOOL AU! I suuuuuuper love Beth and Rio here (alt pov!! a gift!!!!) I love how initially prickly they are, I love how it’s evolving into a grudging respect, I love how INCREDIBLY AND HILARIOUSLY OBSESSED WITH EACH OTHER THEY ARE and neither one of them seems to see it

listen I know we’re all already foaming at the mouth over this one but as it’s gonna go down as one of my all time favorites it bears repeating/rereccing

cannot stress enough how masterful the use of POV is here, both voices feel completely true and distinct and I love how the alternating chapters revisit, reveal and emphasize pieces of each other

i can’t talk about this fic without hyperventilating

I LOVE IT SO MUCH YOU GUYS

the slow burn is going to ACTUALLY KILL ME

rip, no regrats

Earned It - wakeupflawless / @wakeupflawless​

spanking

that’s it that’s the pitch

H O T

living for beth’s exit in the first chapter, rio and i are both incredibly into it

second chapter also features violently possessive Rio who cannot deal with anyone messing with his girl so if that’s your thing boy howdy get on it

shake, baby, shake - openhearts

backread!!!!!

according to my bookmarks this was a reread but ???????

must’ve read it in the fugue state that followed reading for a moment we were strangers which is gr9 and I believe I have recced it before. If not, horrible oversight, reccing it now

beth and Rio POV lead up to the bathroom break, beautifully done, low-key feel bad reccing it bc the end point of both chapters makes me want to throw things but it’s super worth it for the tEnsiOn. ENJOY

What the Sea Wants, the Sea Will Have - flashindie / @pynkhues​

I’m assuming all of y’all are already reading this

If not OH MY GOD FIX YOUR LIVES

P I R A T E  A U

I’m sorry maybe you didn’t hear me piRaTE aU

meticulously researched, brain-meltingly vibrant, already painfully sexy slow-burning PIRATE AU

god where to start okay so first off, the world-building here straight up breaks my brain, sophie’s put in the work and it SHOWS

second, the atmosphere. i’m generally a pretty like, vague mental picture sort of reader but the sensory detail here grabs you by the throat and like, forcibly hauls you in whether your brain’s wired that way or no

and hey speaking of throats if you, like me, go a little funny about the knees at the idea of beth holding a knife to rio’s throat (he’s fine, calm down), there’s a v excellent beth-in-a-barrel moment for you

oh christ and the sexy tension

it’s gonna be a race to see which slow burn takes me out first, this or law school

Stunner - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie​

Another high school AU, this time with baby Rio absolutely head over heels for his older sister’s bff

stunner!Rio has an emotional earnestness about him that I feel like delinquents!Rio has already outgrown and it’s so SWEET I can’t get enough

Desperately cute!!!!!!

alL he waNts iS foR beTh tO bE hiS girL

also unreasonably angsty???????

ANN ARBOR IS NOT THAT FAR MEGAN

A Heart's A Heavy Burden - tooshyforthis / @bathroombreaks​

Howl’s Moving Castle AU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love Howl’s!!!!!!!!!!!

perfect opp to roast Rio for being a Dramatique Heaux 

and it’s gonna be 9 chapters?????? H Y P E

author’s note boldly presumes I did not know I needed this AU when the reality is I did in fact know I needed this AU, I just wasn’t expecting anyone to deliver

so blessed

author also claims to not be team nose stud and yet it features prominently in all its magnificent glory

what is the truth dot gif

A Bit of a Stretch - septiembre / @septiembur​

SO????? CUTE?????????

would be on this list for Rio calling Beth E alone tbh

really really really really really love this Rio POV of being settled into a relationship with Beth

It manages to be sweetly domestic af while still holding the edge that makes brio brio which is a neat trick

@septiembur may be a witch

beth’s approach to getting rio to do yoga with her is hilarious and exactly right, canon-typical amounts of subtlety 

1000000/10

Post Break-Up Sex - femalegothic / @bethsuglywigs​

stg this was called Hit Shuffle

no matter

h O T

with a side of damn i’ve made some questionable choices in my life haven’t i introspection

(no regrats tho)

(esp not with this fic)

not the point of the fic by a long shot but i’m also extremely obsessed with Weed Eddie, so real

She drains my soul... she drains it not - niham87 / @niham87​

ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED WITH THIS CONCEPT

am a complete sucker for paranormal world building that satirizes bureaucracy 

Is that a trope? If so that’s my favorite

I did it. I’m picking a single favorite. You know what that is growth dot gif

ANYWAY i love the concept, i love the humor, i love beth instantly clicking with annie

I love her and mick’s sort of grudging professional courtesy

Love beth as a champion of environmental responsibility and all of the underworld being like …...okay??

cannot wait to see where this goes

Nine-Tenths - riosnecktattoo / @riosnecktattoo​

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

sometimes i think about rio putting beth’s hair in a ponytail and have to go lie down

science please explain why this rUinS mE

wait hold on i skipped ahead

HEY KIDS DO YOU LIKE UNBEARABLY CUTE DOMESTIC TENDERNESS

opens with rio sleepily holding beth’s hand to his heart so that’s the kind of thing you’ll be dealing with

uGH theY’RE sO CUTe

idk why precisely but rio adding hair ties to his bracelet collection is my undoing every time

Missed Call - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie​

Rio doesn’t come home from a job when he’s supposed to. Beth (and I!!!!!!!) slowly loses her mind

Truly a masterpiece of rising tension

Will literally never forgive her for calling this light angst

I was SO STRESSED OUT

The first person to point out there was an author’s note at the beginning I obvs didn’t read is getting blocked

crush - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie​

Listen even though this is centered around two OCs, they are OCs FROM a (n iconic) brio fic AND Beth, Ruby and Rio all make cameos (I mean, Rio’s pretty present since he lives in Mar’s mind rent free bc they are THE SWEETEST MOST ADORABLE BEST OF FRIENDS so idk if i’d call it a cameo but whatever)

and even if it didn’t feature any official GG characters I’d still rec is bc that’s mY SON AND this fic is TOO CUTE

I have so many feelings over mar and rio growing up and not knowing how to cope with girls becoming a Thing in their life and how it affects their friendship and mar feeling left behind but (SPOILERS) at the end of the story rio starts feeling that too and it’s so poignant knowing how that’s going to continue in delinquents

while mar may be my son, i also claim elena’s #1 stan status

before you’re like meg you’re only reccing it bc it’s a bday present ask yourselves do i really strike you as the kind of person that wouldn’t be equally obnoxious about this either way?

truly cannot fathom how hard i have fallen for these OCs i don’t normally do that

@foxmagpie is definitely a witch

The Ottoman - Niham87 / @niham87​

look i will be the first to admit that i don’t go near as bonkers over the ottoman line in 308 as y’all do

(don’t get me wrong, i love it!!! I love that he laughs and i love that she’s pleased it just doesn’t hit my lose my whole mind button like idk, the dubby or the 306 convo, idk why)

BUT i v v v much love the context this delightful Rio POV pwp gives it

am also absolutely feral for 209 missing scene fic

and anything that captures the complexity of Rio’s s3 feelings for Beth and how twisted they’ve become

so this scratches a bunch of itches, is what i’m trying to say

Bet On It - zetuslapetus / @querenaxx​

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

That’s what my brain does when I think about Beth and Rio meeting in ch 1

am DESPERATELY OBSESSED WITH the tension between the two of them in this fic

I love how it plays with the ways they have to rely on but don’t trust each other

plus FAKE DATING and BED SHARING (fair warning hasn’t happened yet but the set up is there)

originally supposed to be 2 chapters, already up to 4, prayer circle it goes on forever

do you like drugs (tonight) - s_t_c_s / @sothischickshe​

v important focus on hydration, other fic should take note

extremely about the use of cut to and then flashback to enhance the ‘we were on drugs’ vibe

speaking of, beth and rio absolutely would take ecstasy to prove they are fun bc they are the exact kind of idiots that would peer pressure themselves

so glad beth kept her purse, got a bit stressed there for a second, clutches in that kind of circumstance are A Risk

not that i would know

FLAWLESS USE OF VOICEMAIL TBH

really love the ongoing denial that they are remotely into each other while proceeding to demonstrate how they are in fact, extremely into each other, great vibe

rio dances

I know my brain broke too

mmmm bacon

Navigate A Broken Path - flashindie / @pynkhues​

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

I have a long standing tradition of getting unreasonably obsessed with side characters so i’m not like, entirely surprised by how obsessed i am with both Mick and Mary Pat but i never in a million years considered them as a ship

AND Y E T

they fit????? so perfectly?????? It’s amazing how she developes them individually enough that i look at them together and think ah yes this makes perfect sense for both characters

and they’re such an amazing foil to Beth and Rio? 

can ships have foils? do i know what a foil is? 

unimportant

GUYS you dON’T uNDERStAN d 

hell i don’t understand

how absolutely very dare you make me care about YET ANOTHER set of gg ‘verse children

do not read this fic if you have no interest in feelings you zero percent asked for

wHA t hAPPeNED iN aLASkA?????????

A Moment’s Silence - femalegothic / @bethsuglywigs​

*makes sign of the cross*

y’all are gonna make me rediscover religion

extremely appreciate the author’s note approach to backstory top notch prioritization

listen it’s basically 3k of beth deep throating rio idk what more you need me to say about it

it is…..good stuff

bless the kinkmeme or fest whatever we’re calling it

praise - civillove / @blainesebastian​

I mean you had me at “three times rio calls beth a good girl and one time he really means it”

ephemeral rio

I left that note for myself in here in the middle of the night and haven’t the foggiest what i was thinking but i stand by it none the less

okay okay i think i know what i meant, this fic (as do all of my fav civillove brio fics) has this sort of like, liminal, in the quiet moments feel to them that makes the moments and feelings somehow feel like i’m catching a glimpse of something secret and precious???

idk i just really like it okay

Heart and Soul - riosnecktattoo / @riosnecktattoo​

oh look more unbearably sweet domestic tenderness, this time to music

thank you ma’am for my life

rio remembers beth used to play piano and gets her one and revoltingly cute shenanigans result

also hilarity

and sexiness

this fic has it all, truly

shout out to mick who sees no reason to keep rio’s feelings to himself

good girls tumblr fic - prettylittlementirosa / @hypermania​​

cheating and reccing a whole series

It’s my list and i can do what i wanna

stop crying about it, it’s four fics and they’re all AMAZING absolutely impossible to pick a fav

truly flawless characterization, next level ability to capture evocative mood, cannot get enough

three’s a crowd: who knew ballroom dancing while dean watches and grinds his teeth could be so sexy 

(trick question everything about that premise sounds A++++ and boy howdy does it live up)

feel it on the way home: rio tries to break up with beth, it goes about as well as you’d expect

(thE angSty tenSioN)

i want to play the game: [from the floor] i’m still not ready to talk about it

(rio/turner, missing scene, 10000000% a taste of what went down in that hotel room)

june after dark: pitch perfect annie pov, really really love the take that Annie is the baby whisperer, can’t fully explain why but it feels incredibly right

(ANNIE X NANCY COULD WORK SO WELL YOU GUYS)

[fellhellion]

can you make a rec list of your favorite fe3h fics? if that's alright?

OF COURSE I WOULD LOVE TO <3 always happy to give my fave works a shoutout <33333

Though mind u this is going to be a LOT so ill pop them under a cut

from the heart in exile

TLDR: platonic hubert edelgard fic that haunts me. It’s extremely good with really well written character voices and focuses on these two characters trying to find out who they are beyond the war with their friends refusing to leave them behind

Summary: 

You can’t speak just yet to whether time—and age? experience? not that war or rulership have given you much of the latter, at least in the area of gardening—has made your thumbs any less brown, but the house in the Oghma Mountains is surrounded by so many growing things it hardly seems to matter. It sits at the edge of a forest, on the gentle lower slopes, and the people in the nearest town had all smiled to speak of it when they pointed the way for Hubert, the day you arrived. A number of them were old enough to remember what it had been like, years ago, in the warm and golden before, and to insist that it had not changed in the ways that mattered. It was still full of light. The air still smelled green.

In which Edelgard keeps a garden, Hubert learns to fly, and those they leave behind refuse to be left behind.

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Watchtower

TLDR: platonic fic and amazing sylvain character study. Like genuinely one of the best i’ve ever read. If you’re someone who really wanted a deeper exploration of Sylvain’s feelings about Dimitri this fic is for u. 

Summary: 

When Sylvain is six and a half and climbs to the top of a tower with no one’s hand in his, he realizes that each and every one of the people he loves has been born as a gift to something else. Dimitri was born for Faerghus, and Felix was born for Dimitri. Glenn was born for the royal family, and Ingrid was born for Galatea and for Glenn. He realizes, too, that what they’re for decides their future. Dimitri will lead them into a better world. Felix will guide his path, and Glenn will protect his life, and Ingrid will bind her future to theirs.

And Sylvain, who was born for the border, will stand in a watchtower. He will see the enemy before it comes, and he will keep Dimitri and Felix and Ingrid and Glenn safe.

Dimitri reappears after five years. Sylvain knows it's his role to fix the mess they're in, but he doesn't know how.

-------------------------------------------

little light

TLDR: really good exploration of flayn and seteth’s relationship (+ with his wife and flayn’s mother) pre canon (also post canon if i remember right) just a really good if heartbreaking family fic 

Summary: 

"She is beautiful, and she is perfect. It is foolish to say so, because the goddess herself says perfect beings cannot exist - but Cichol knows now she must have been wrong, because his daughter is perfect. They name her Cethleann. In the old tongue, it means 'light.'"

Cichol, Cethleann, what they lost, and who they became.

------------------------------------------

conjure the wind, ease my mind

TLDR: this author in general writes FANTASTIC work so pls check out their whole repertoire. a platonic fic between holst and claude w an exploration of claude’s past that’s just so good....found brotherhood i am WEEPING 

Summary: 

“I’d like to know what’s wrong. I’d like to help if I can.”

Calculating green eyes lock onto Holst’s own, but this time they’re laced with something a little bit like resignation

Many people call Duke Riegan a liar, but Holst feels like he knows the young man a bit better than that. To call him a liar is wrong, you see, because all Claude has ever really done is master the art of giving up as little of the truth as possible. He keeps truth close, treats it like a valuable commodity.

“I have three brothers,” he says. “Half-brothers.”

***

Claude won’t spar with Holst and Holst wants to know why.

----------------------------------------------

my fellow passerine

TLDR: same author as before and just...god this fic is so good. a platonic exploration of the relationship between Claude and Cyril. This fic has it all: found brotherhood, worldbuilding about Almyra, Claude character study, CYRIL character study. it’s just fantastic 

Summary:

Then the Alliance delegation shows up, and their offering strolls through the gates of the monastery like he already owns the place.

A reminder, for those who need it: Cyril is not an idiot. He has good eyes and he uses them.

An observation, for those who want it: The Golden Deer house leader is Almyran.

~

Cyril knows a lot more than he lets on, Claude is far less covert than he thinks he is, and messing with the guy your parents told you was a possibly-unkillable demon-prince isn’t usually supposed to earn you a lasting friendship but hey… life is already pretty damn weird.

-----------------------------------------

Autotomy

TLDR: god this ferdibert fic just fucking...destroys me. i cannot get through it without crying at least twice and usually more. it’s basically a CF canon divergence with a heavy HEAVY exploration of ferdinand and hubert’s perspectives towards usefulness and how abelist thinking affects that in their efforts to find Shambala after Ferdinand loses his sight from one of Hubert’s experimental spells. All while falling in love. this fic is VERY fucking heavy, please mind the tags, it’s amazing but it’s subject matter is something you need to be very aware of. Also i would highly reccomend reading the prequel to this fic as it provides some critical context to Hubert’s actions that you don’t get through Ferdinand’s flawed pov. Basically this author is a master of character perspective.

Summary: 

Ferdinand von Aegir's war record ends in 1182. The war does not.

Or, blind man's bluff.

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Coming of Age

TLDR: same author as before and god...just my FAVOURITE ferdinand character study. Takes place within the period Byleth is away. I don’t want to spoil anything but it’s incredible. Mines the fantastic character drama hook between Edelgard and Ferdinand that canon DIDNT rip

Summary: 

Ferdinand was a general. In theory. Edelgard had promised him continued command of his battalion, and a general needed a certain measure of wealth to supply his horses, his servants, his armor and rations and lodgings and, she’d promised.

But his father sat rotting in a cell, or worse, and it could be nothing more than a fable they thought him simple enough to believe. What did promises matter?

When the house of Aegir collapses around him, Ferdinand struggles to forge a path forward. He quickly discovers he can't manage it alone -- and neither, perhaps, can Edelgard.

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Another Life

TLDR: same author AGAIN (can u tell theyre my favourite fjsdhfk). Ferdibert fic, a man loving his partner and trying to figure out the best way to support them as they silently wrestle with questions about their gender identity is something that can be so PERSONAL and make u CRY god. also dark flier hubert my beloved. 

Summary: 

Ferdinand notices things. He cannot say what he notices, precisely, because he has no one to ask, and if he were to ask Hubert it would damn well result in every questioned moment up and vanishing forever behind a new wall of prickly austerity. Ferdinand cannot risk that. The things that he notices stick in his chest, and he thinks only, but.

Hubert wrestles with unasked questions; Ferdinand wrestles with a pegasus.

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Beneath the Sheets of Paper Lies My Truth

TLDR: Dimilix fic in my FAVOURITE fucking format of secondary in game historical sources exploring their relationship in retrospective.

Summary:

It was said that Duke Fraldarius’s grief at King Dimitri’s death was more potent than even the queen’s—but said by whom, and how, and why?

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A Fair Day’s Work

TLDR: Post CF Canon ferdibert where Hubert and Ferdinand’s overworked aides desperately try to get them together so they’ll be too busy being uhhhh AMOUROUS to give them so much work. Very much a romantic comedy with very fun OCs as our protags. 

Summary:

“I may have some coffee in the place for you,” said Prime Minister Aegir. “Let me show you how much better I have become at brewing it to your taste.”

“If you insist,” said Minister Vestra but he sounded pleased. To Delarivier, who had literally made it her profession to attune herself to his tone (usually ranging from sort-of-murder-y to extremely-murder-y), Minister Vestra sounded very pleased indeed.

--

Ferdinand and Hubert's long-suffering aides figure out a way to work fewer hours.

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Roost

TLDR: Dimilix post AM Canon with some pre canon moments. Basically an exploration of the complexity of their relationship with bird symbolism and extra Holy Kingdom lore. Gifting ur lover a vulture is something that can be so personal fksdhfsjkd

Summary:

Dimitri makes an affirmative noise. Then he takes a breath, voice leveling out into what Felix had long ago dubbed his 'future king voice', all steady explanation: “Long ago, the saying fledged right along with the nobles' and royal family's love of hawking, and it has remained a common phrase from one generation to the next. As adviser to the king, the duke is meant to be regal and strong, even deadly when required, from his place at the king's side. To always act as the most piercing, watchful eyes over the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus and her sovereign."

He looks over to Felix as soon as his mouth snaps shut on the final word, as always seeking approval on his recitations.

Felix tilts his head, trying to look unimpressed. “I like eagles.”

A hand automatically comes up to cover the lower half of Dimitri's face, muffling the inarticulate sound of a snort of amusement. “That is good, since you are to be mine.”

***

They say an eagle watches over Fhirdiad.

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A faint and faraway sound

TLDR: Ferdibert with an excellent Hubert centric character study....just so good...makes me warm and fuzzy...the mutual pining and ROMANCE of it all

Summary: 

Hubert learns to be a person, with a lot of help and complication along the way.

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In golden light

TLDR: A really REALLY good ferdibert fic with ferdinand centric pov that focuses on him reflecting on his life as he prepares the Aegir house to become a boarding school. Ferdinand sibling exploration is ABOUND here and it’s great

Summary: 

When his family's summer home at Lake Aegir is set to be converted to a boarding academy, Ferdinand pays it one last visit and contemplates his complicated relationship with family, love, and legacy.

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one three four three four zero

TLDR: the fic that actually got me into dimilix. VERY heavy character study and you NEED to mind both the general fic tags and the content warnings the author lists for each chapter but it’s incredible. Takes a very familiar trope and just. slams you in the face with over 60k words of amazing character study. 

Summary: 

“How are you going to get the One-Eyed Demon of Garreg Mach, the Boar Prince of Faerghus, smuggled past Dukedom soldiers? What plan could you possibly have to get a creature that incapable of even pretending it isn’t a bloodthirsty beast into Dominic without getting caught?”

The Professor gives him one of their steady, unreadable stares. They definitely do not and could not possibly have answered him, “You’re going to pretend to be married to him.”

or, How to Pretend to be Married When One of You Can't Stop Hallucinating and the Other One Uses Hostility to Cope

[spaceorphanssecondbreakfastclub]

SO’s US Book Tour: Alaska

The Snow Child

By Eowyn Ivey

Next stop is Alaska - one of the six states I have yet to visit.  One of the things I wanted to accomplish in doing this US Tour Challenge was to pick books that really give you a sense for the state I’m reading about.  And Snow Child really gives you a sense of the open mysterious, tinged with sad wilderness that is Alaska.  Written by an Alaskan native - the book is at its best when it’s describing its location.  Ivey has a real knack for making you feel as if you are there - out in the expansive wilderness that is Alaska, and that feeling of being fully pulled into the atmosphere of the story is something that I did enjoy out of the story.  

See - the thing I’m learning, especially dipping my toes out of works and genres that I naturally gravitate to, is that I understand when a book is objectively good even if it isn’t something I necessarily enjoy.  This book, and it’s magical realistic story and setting, is one of those books.  I can’t say that I liked this book.  But I can say that it is very well written and if you are into magical realism, and a beautiful, descriptive work that marries nicely a real and gritty world with elements of fantasy - then you probably will like this one.  

The story revolves around a middle-aged couple (the book calls them older, but they’re only in their early-50s, and to me that is not yet old) who moves to Alaska in the 1920s for the adventure and challenge of it all.  Only they’re bogged down by the reality of their new life, and the grief of having lost a child sometime in the past.  I did like Jack and Mabel as characters.  The novel takes its time breathing life into them as characters.  They are as real and fleshed out as the wilderness imagery Ivey painstakingly creates.  And their character arcs - pulling themselves out of the grief they hold, learning to come back to one another, and learning how to really accept living in this new world is really where the novel excels.  While I’m not overly fond of overly descriptive writing (and I’m still not after reading this), I do think Ivey paints us a beautiful and convincing story for these two.  

The magical realism aspect of the novel comes in its relation to an old Russian fairy tale - where an older couple makes a young girl out of snow and she comes to life.  After one snowy evening, Jack and Mabel do make that snow child - and they find a young girl running around the woods, and eventually invite her indoors.  And here’s where the novel and I start to really begin to part ways.  The young girl is named Faina - and it’s intentionally ambiguous whether or not she’s real or imaginary.  In some ways she’s very much a child who grew up in the wilderness -- nods to her past life and past family are found.  In other ways she’s very much a fantasy -- the fact that no one else ever sees her and the fact that she goes away in the summer to chase the cold.  

While I don’t mind the ambiguity of her as a character -- my problem comes from the fact that the novel (to me) seems more interesting when she’s not around.  I understand that she’s there to help Jack and Mabel reconnect, and make peace with their grief.  And I understand she represents the wild and burly wilderness of Alaska.  And that is fine.  But the more real she gets, especially in the last third of the novel, she seems less like a fairy tale wonder and more like a manic pixie dream child.  

There aren’t that many other characters in the book, but I do think the ones that are there work well for the story being told.  Jack and Mabel have a neighboring couple whom they befriend - the wife, Esther, being possibly my favorite character in the book.  She’s easily the most cheery, though bold and daring, especially for a woman in the 1920s, and works well being a contrast to Mabel - who is more reserved and slightly more cynical.  The neighbors also have a son named Garrett, who also becomes important to the second half of the story.  He’s fine and works for what the story needs him to do.  

I also found the book sluggish to get through.  Don’t get me wrong - I wouldn’t call it padded.  Nor do I think it's a particularly difficult book to read technically.   I think Ivey is relying on her abilities of description to fully color the world around her and does so to great effect.  I just struggle with these kinds of books - because my taste veers to something more fast paced in its plotting.  That said - I do wonder if a good hundred pages could have been cut out of this book to make it move on just a little faster.  

I also took issue with the last hundred pages or so of the book.  It became clear that Ivey was seeking out a certain type of bittersweet ending, and while most of the book took its time with the world building and character growing - the last portion felt, actually, as though it was a little bit in a rush to just get to a specific ending.  I also wasn’t particularly thrilled with the ending - partly because I feel that Faina still seems ill-defined compared to all the rest of the characters, and partly because trying to merge the reality and fantasy isn’t such an easy feat - but I respect the author’s choice to get the novel to its ultimate ending point.  

Ultimately, would I recommend this book? It depends on if you’re the type of person who enjoys deep character studies and lush descriptions - then I think you'll really enjoy it.  If you’re someone (more like me) who wants a little more plot to their novels then maybe not.  I think there are elements of the novel that are definitely worth talking about (and at times - I did feel like I was reading a book waiting to be discussed in a sophomore college literature course), but I can’t say that I had a lot of fun reading it. 

[chrysalizzm]

!!SPOILERS FOR JANUARY 4TH FESTIVAL STREAM!!

disclaimer: i can’t talk about everything because i have final exams next week and really should be studying so i can’t exactly go back and watch all the vods; i watched the entire thing from ranboo’s perspective and his acting was immaculate good on him. everyone that i discuss in this ramble are, of course, their characters, and not the actual ccs.

holy shit holy SHIT i cannot THINK brain go brrrrrr

okay i need to split this up because i physically cannot disentangle the jumble my brain and emotions are in right now my mind is just a pile of scrambled eggs

predictions??? or well thoughts about tomorrow

one of the things i thought of right away was clingyduo losing their last canon lives together, though this is on shaky ground because i seriously doubt “season two” (for lack of a better word) of the dream smp would end so quickly after season one, and because tommy and tubbo are both such huge catalysts for events happening on the smp, this seems pretty unlikely (they’re both too important for them to end up as a casual death for the sake of moving the plot along, there are a lot of other characters who aren’t on their final canon lives or even some that are that might die if the writers really wanted that bit of oomf, though i don’t really think it’s necessary for any perma-deaths to occur tomorrow). that said, i think toward the end of the smp storyline, or at least once it’s hit a steady storyline or has been around for long enough, it might be really poetic for certain things to come to an end with clingyduo dying together - it ties up the first arc of the dream smp, how everything began, and now how everything ends (this is how the world ends, indeed). also, tommy kept bringing up the fact that he and tubbo are on their final canon lives, and while i think this is mostly just a “bait the audience to subvert expectations at the last moment” move (as happened today kind of with tommy joining tubbo’s side), it’s interesting to hear that particular half of clingyduo contemplating his own mortality.

i think there’s a pretty low chance of niki joining dream and techno, despite my wishful thinking because i think she’d be a great asset to those two in making the l’manberg side falter emotionally and because she’s excellent at organising her thoughts and presenting a really solid argument, something that both dream and techno are just kinda okay at. we saw from niki’s argument that she has torn loyalties - plenty of characters do, but she’s pretty unique in that neither of the reasons she’s fighting for line up that much with techno and dream (i also like that niki’s the one who comes out and says outright that her loyalties are torn because she doesn’t like tommy). she clearly makes the distinction between fighting with tommy and fighting for l’manberg - she’s fighting for l’manberg - and for her, l’manberg outweighs all else. that’s the reason why she’s fighting on tommy’s side - because she knows that dream and techno will destroy what she’s fought so hard to keep whole and safe all this time, throughout the time she’s been on the smp. enemy of my enemy is my friend, all that.

pandora’s vault. MATE. it’s huge and we all know it. i think it’s possible that dream wants to throw everyone who opposes him into the prison - it’s large enough and secure enough to accommodate - but i don’t think he will, because current dream (and i want to make a distinction between current and early dream, because they’re so polar opposite that i’m inclined to believe something’s going on behind the scenes, probably associated with the book schlatt gave him, shoutout to dr3 @dr3amt3am3 on twitter for writing an excellent analysis of dream’s character) is motivated around causing chaos by using everyone. think eris from greek mythology when she tossed the golden apple between athena, hera, and aphrodite - he dips a toe in the water and all the fish fucking jump. he doesn’t need to make the mess because one little push and everyone makes the mess for him. so, no, i don’t think pandora’s vault will be used to imprison all those who oppose him. i know a lot of theories have been floating around about whether it’ll be tommy or phil or techno - those three seem to be the top contenders - and i think i’d like to plump for tommy, who’s probably the one dream wants to see suffer the most and is capable of causing the most damage - after all, look at him rallying the people of l’manberg with just a few sentences after he spent the last month condemned by them.

there was probably more but i have sbi brainrot now let’s move on

wherein i become an staunch techno apologist

i may be on tommy’s side, but i don’t agree with his reasoning or how he acted today. yeah, i said it. yes, he’s been deeply traumatised since election night, arguably even further back, what with being the sole witness as wilbur spiralled and watching his best friend get brutally murdered and being unable to stop techno from razing the nation he helped plant the seeds of to the ground and seeing wilbur get stabbed by their father and exile, gaslighting, panic attacks, this kid needs a goddamn break. but i vibe with techno’s ideals and actions a fair bit more than i do tommy’s. the fact of the matter is, technoblade has always been completely transparent about why he was doing things the way he did them and what they were for (with the exception of a few lies of omission to tommy about what he wanted to happen to l’manberg). from day one he’s made it clear that he’s an anarchist and that what he wants is to abolish the government, and he genuinely believes that anarchy is for the greater good. from techno’s perspective, he’s not wrong - every single problem on the server can be traced back to some form of government or political turmoil, from l’manberg’s fight for independence to this latest festival fiasco. furthermore, when you look at it from an unbiased perspective, techno’s only ever really been used and discarded. he hasn’t instigated any conflicts on his own; he usually gets roped in by whoever’s running the movement, used as a weapon/items cache, then immediately thrown aside as the winners of the conflict establish exactly the opposite of techno’s beliefs. i have a lot of things to say about techno’s role in the smp because i get all angy about it, but for something zingy to leave you with - have you thought about how tommy and wilbur said “we have the blade” - a weapon, not a person?

rip community house ;-;7

yeah no it was almost definitely dream. tommy gains nothing from griefing the community house to that extent, especially not in this political climate (i know the argument can be made that he didn’t have to grief george’s house either, but that doesn’t have the connotations that the griefing of the community house does. no matter how reckless tommy is, i don’t believe that he’s stupid). dream has more to gain at this point from destroying the community house than tommy does, and this shows the audience a lot about current!dream; we know it’s true, now, what he said when he threatened tommy: “i don’t care about anything, actually.” he doesn’t. he said himself that the community house is the most sacred thing on the server, the oldest build, the first and only thing to have remained since the genesis of the dream smp, and so for him to have been the one to destroy it where he’s been so careful to preserve things from the old days of the smp (his pet fish, the community house, spirit) - shocking, the difference between early!dream and current!dream. he’s actually willing to go to literally any lengths to take tommy down, even at the cost of things he once valued above all else. interesting stuff. ((shakes the smug green bastard /smp)) TELL ME WHATS IN THAT BOOK YOU FUNGAL PIECE OF SHIT

applauding the smp members

because WOW that acting was SO FUCKING GOOD special shoutout to niki and ranboo because they fucking NAILED IT

okay i’m gonna go lie down and think about african lit for finals now thanks for reading this incomprehensible babble